#but does anybody get what i'm saying???
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heart-of-the-morningstar · 1 year ago
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It is simply not enough to put Pavitr in my pocket, I want to gently fold him into a pretty origami paper swan... 
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ox1-lovesick · 8 months ago
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hi
#life update nobody asked for lol#I missed you guys my pookie wookie dookies#I deleted all my social media and life is so great wow#still a lot of mental health problems but I'm finally learning to deal with my emotions and not hate life (wow)#is it bad for me to say I'm so glad I left blr#I will probably never come back here lol but I think (?) today is txt's debut anniversary and since I am the self proclaimed empress of moa#downgrading to a flip phone actually#I unstanned txt and all the kpop peoples too (SHOCKER)#I do feel really nostalgic and sad when I think about them but I think it was the thing I needed most#delulu is infact not the solulu#daydreaming about beomgyu being the new student at my school and being soobin's bestie was never the greatest idea hey#it's so freeing to not care about them and focus on what's infront of me#if you need a sign to start growing out of kpop and start worrying about your own life here it is babe 😭 don't let anybody give you shit#Not to say kpop is bad or anything I just think for me it was getting a bit out of hand#As much as we all make fun of the delulus it's so easy to fall down that spiral when these idols constantly tell you they love you#The parasocial relationship was REAL istg these people felt like my friends#Hueningkai does not give a FUCK about me and he is so real for that#Thinking about deleting this blog but I'm logging off after this so I very well may forget it exists again#But I just wanted to share what's been going on#And I miss you guys a lot#I may have outgrown kpop and tumblr but you all still have a special place in my heart#I miss the good old days 😭 when discord let's me back in I might visit wme#Not much has changed with me but mentally I feel like a whole new person#But I hope you all are doing GREAT#Living your best lives and doing things that make you happy#You owe it to yourself more than you owe these celebrities anything#xoxo savie 😝🤟🤟🔥🔥🔥
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babsaros · 10 months ago
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hey, regular reminder that if you get someone in your inbox (that you have never interacted with before/has never been following you) asking you to reblog a post on their blog (sob story asking for donations, usually about a pet to make it extra guilt-trippy) and they specifically ask you to answer this ask privately (for a vague and weak reason, why wouldn't they want more eyes on this post?) and then you go to their blog and their account is days old at most (and they're even claiming they have an old account that got shadowbanned ((?? being "shadowbanned" on tumblr does not mean you can't still post from that account?)) but never mention the url of that old blog) and all their reblogs are straight from the op and not from anyone they might be following who reblogged the post first (indicating they just quickly searched a semi-popular fandom tag to reblog some innocuous fanart to make the blog seem lived in)-
this is probably a scam :/ keep your eye out for odd details, inconsistency, and a glaring lack of credibility. stay safe out there everypony.
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marathedemonoverlord · 1 year ago
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Lesson 17 Hard Mode Spoilers(???)
Just finished Lesson 17 Hard Mode ( Don't @ me. I'm taking anything I can get to stay invested ) and like.... Did Michael just love bomb the Angels? (ಥ ͜ʖಥ)
Maybe my ass just hates gifts cause I'm so difficult but like... Weird doting vibes- Anyways weirdly I feel bad for Raphael being caught in the middle of it all - He's so awkward I see myself in him (ಥ ͜ʖಥ)(ಥ ͜ʖಥ)
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july-19th-club · 1 year ago
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how to make a character who sucks so bad and nobody likes him but he is genuinely a good protagonist (good as in interesting, maybe on a rare day good as in decent but also, just like, an incredible jackass) . i need to make him worse i need to make him MEANER!
#i think the key to getting this kind of character right is that he can't try to be anybody's boss#that's not the fun and engaging kind of jackass that's just reminding the reader of all the bosses they've hated in their time#the engaging and likeable Guy Who Sucks So Bad is a loner who might CLAIM that he will take over the group or whatever and lead#but never actually has any intentions of doing so because part of the things he sucks re: is responsibility of any kind#he does however know that leaders dont like other people horning in on their territory so he will say things like#i'm gonna wreck your shit and then all your lackeys will follow ME! ouahahahahaha . despite having zero plans to follow up with that#the ideal engaging asshole protagonist is a rebel without a good cause: maybe he has a sad backstory; maybe he's just a dick#but if there's one thing about him you can count on it's that he is Opposed To Shit. doesnt matter what it is his primary entertainment#is picking a fight with it for no reason and then saying what the fuck ever i didn't care about it anyway (he didn't)#ideally this is all done in such a way that he is SEXY . but you'd never want to hang with him because he is deeply obnoxious#he is not bossy. he is not controlling. he is maybe even a bit of a wife guy except he hates everyone else and wants to make their day wors#because making someone else's day worse makes HIS day better . the ideal wife for him is the one from ordinary day with peanuts#by shirley jackson#and i have GOT to figure out a way to engineer this guy without copying examples of my favorite versions of him wholesale#i have the scaffolding. but because of my own confrontation-averse tendencies#im terribly concerned that i will never be able to actually make him the asshole he was born to be#q
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crush3dmary · 1 year ago
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Sad posting in the tags, you're free to ignore. Just need to get it out of my system and twit circle isn't sufficing.
#I think posting someone else's art they did for me#To the same audience with all the same tags and thematic matter#And having their art get way more interaction than mine is the final straw to make me give up on art#I don't get any joy out of it#I don't find catharsis out of it anymore#I used to do art because it was like spewing my innermost workings on a page and saying to the world 'this is how I feel'#There was something very vulnerable with sharing that with people but#I wanted to make people understand what's in my head#A cry for help if you will#Or more like a cry for understanding#And it feels so hollow when people who get plenty of interaction say 'oh if you're upset by no interaction#Then you're doing it for the wrong reasons etc etc'#And for one it's easy to say when your stuff DOES get plenty of interaction#But for two as a teenager I was viral on deviantart. Thousands of followers and multiple daily deviations#Before I even turned 18#I literally grew up and am conditioned to thrive on external validation and I just don't get that anymore#Ever since I deleted my deviantart in 2014 because my abuser was literally using it to stalk me I haven't been able to hold an audience#I threw it all away and now I can't get it back. Not here not twit not insta not anywhere#So I'm giving up. That's it that's all. Not like anybody gives a shit anyways#It kind of feels like ripping out a piece of your soul#Putting it on display and then having no one care#I'm tired of destroying myself just to be ignored over and over again#I really did peak when I was 17 didn't I
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starved-vyka · 1 year ago
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My right brain: They’re talking about me they’re talking about me they’re talking about me they’re talking about me they’re talking about me they’re talking about me they’re talking about me they’re talking about me they’re talking about-
My left brain:
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makedamnsvre · 1 year ago
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you don't have to read this is for screaming in the void
#trying to explain that i'm struggling without saying the big most important part of why i am struggling is .#like oh i'm struggling because uh . the issues. what are the issues? well . they are issues that i refuse to elaborate on#so it doesn't help anybody. but like how am i supposed to explain to my mom that the reason i've become so severely depressed is because#i'm suicidal. like oh btw ^-^ i hate the life you gave me and brought me into so bad that i want to die. but it's no big deal so don't worr#about it.#which like that wouldn't be how i meant it at all but of course that's also implied or something#which just makes me think of other things like that if things weren't so bad id be able to get help but help is inaccessible.#ughhhh i just hate this it's so agonizing. like cant things be a little less bad. i'm not having fun being like this and people are#reasonably irritated with me because only based on what i'm willing to tell just. isn't the full story at all and would obviously just.#not make sense because i'm leaving out major parts of what's happening and why.#and tbh i'm constantly going back and forth between like. coming out as suicidal. mainly because like. well. it kinda worrying me.#because for like months now i've almost daily been fighting off suicidal thoughts and often even having suicidal meltdowns#yesterday i was standing near a ceiling fan and was like hmm wouldnt it be nice if one of the blades came off and stabbed me through#the back of my skull and killed me. but then i thought no that would be too traumatizing for my family#as if me dying at all wouldn't be. which i also thought of. idk just thinking about the idea of#i want to live but not like this. because yeah. my mom said that she thinks reading bad news is why and it's like well . of course it is#but should i just stay completely unaware of what's happening in the world. but also bad news is just unavoidable#but yeah it is why i'm depressed. climate change racism homophobia transphobia covid wars economy etc like#these are things that i can't just. ignore? and am i seriously the crazy person for being upset about these things?#well she does think i'm crazy for still being scared of the dangerous virus that is currently the third leading cause of death in the us#like last night she was like ' it's good to be cautious but you're going over board' i'm friends with people who could die from covid.#'over board' i care about them and other people and i don't want them to die. i don't want to be permanently disabled by a virus with#a 20% chance every time i catch it to permanently damage my immune system and give me long covid. <- according to cdc#but whatever. i do genuinely want mental help. i think i need s different medication or a diagnosis bc uhmmm . i am unwell#but that's expensive.#i have an appointment with a doctor today for a med check because i don't think my ssri is working . obviously#as i am as you can tell absolutely overcome with severe and debilitating anxiety and depression. lolzors#whatever. except not because ouuuughhhgh <-unimaginable suffering#mypost
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keeps-ache · 1 year ago
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i've realized recently that much of the expressiveness of my eyes was just me trying to see other people's expressions. so now when i make faces my eyes stay Wide Open loll
#just me hi#that's so interesting but now i'm concerned about how i'm coming across bfhbah#like when i smile and laugh my eyes are like ◎v◎#//anyway if another person compliments my looks this year i'm going nuclear#stop. doign that fvshbfhs#i'm going to bury myself in the back and wait for the moss to take me. somebody save me sos sos sos#'anyway you ever see someone so stunning you kind of take a mental screenshot?' 'yea when i see you' 'you could at least blink when you lie#to me' leave me ALGEONE#and then it's always like the prettiest/handsomest people i know and they LOOK ME IN THE EYEEEEEEEEEEE and say 'oh no im not' i'm taking us#BOTH to the moss pit. take my hand mothertrucker. you're not getting away with this. you funkin. Idioit#absolutely disgusting behavior. you are lookin but you are Not thinkin <3#//anyway aside from the utter nonsense >:3#[leans towards the mic] i hav Prignles. Preyengles. thaz right. Prungles#[sits back] i am also sick again Hfvbshvs#idk i keep catching stuff man. maybe i was destined to be a collector but i didn't meet the quota and god is trying to catch me up idkkkk#i got sick SIX times last year!! is that ridiculous or What ? i think it's What. What Happened Man hfbshfsvh#and you know when you get sick sometimes and it's not the Physically worst thing you've ever gone through but it does something wrong to#your brain chemicals? yea.. yea#also- this is just my opinion (i'm right)- i don't think i need mucous membranes#just take them out man. i will Give Them Away. anybody want them? they're free :33#i am giving away not Only my membranes but Also just my entire head!! i'm thinking of replacing it with one of those fake plastic fish-tank#yea the really cheap ones. very gender to me. also my head would be Great for a frankenstein project!! i can't say it has experience Doing#that but ay. everybody gets a start somewhere! :D#and if anybody wants some legs (they are short- fair warning) i am also giving those away too. i was thinking of replacing them with bed#springs :>>#//anyway i am going to try to focus on my thingy now#i wanna draw. i wanna write. and i'm Going to use a taser on my brain :3#gl with your expeditions. no matter the matter !! :D
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13eyond13 · 2 years ago
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aw-bean-s · 2 years ago
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My friend came back from uni for a bit so we had lunch and she's been struggling a bit w body image and I was trying to be a supportive friend without telling her how many crisis I've had over her being hot
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eifri · 1 year ago
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so i've been thinking about this a lot the past few days of playing xvi, and i suppose i would be classed canon-divergent / headcanon-based if i went along with it, but at the moment i'm feeling: i don't think i'll default to clive having romantic feelings for jill in any verse. when i get to completing my theme and / or carrd should i make one, i'll update this accordingly and such. i won't go into too much detail at the risk of spoiling things, but i'll just say everything i've experienced so far feels quite out of place and almost like a detriment to jill's character, which is a bit upsetting given how much potential she has as a character after all she's been through. my feelings could be swayed later on, but from what i've heard, it's not very likely to change. this doesn't mean i will never ship with a jill writer; only, like with any other muse, it will require chemistry between the muses and the writing.
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the-busy-ghost · 1 year ago
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Am re-reading Hogg's Private Memoirs and Confessions of a Justified Sinner and I know it's not a new or original thought but it's just striking to me again how young George (younger) and his brother Robert must have been during the tennis match and Black Bull mob scenes.
If the 'famous session' refers to the 1703 session of parliament (or even if it refers to the previous year's sitting which Queensberry also oversaw), and if old Dalcastle married in 1687 (or later), then at most George could have been 16 and his brother 15, and it's probable that both boys are younger.
I don't remember too many of the details from the first time I read this book so will have to finish it before I make any further judgement. However I don't think it detracts from Robert's culpability or nastiness in any way to take into account his probable age in the earlier portion of the narrative. I think makes for a more interesting reading when forcibly reminded that he's a young teenager. Even taking into account different social mores and expectations placed on children in both the period in which the novel is set, and the early 19th century when it was written, it seems to me that that's an element that will still have particular significance for readers in the 21st century, regardless of one's personal experience with extreme forms of Presbyterianism.
#I mean it's probably been said before I haven't read much analysis of the novel in a while- or at least not of the psychology aspect#But I do feel that the image you first get in your head is that Robert is at least in his late teens and early 20s#at the time of the tennis match nonsense- I.e. a grown up demonic genius albeit with a chip on his shoulder#I'd say he's probably about 14?#Idk if anybody else remembers being 14 but oh boy does that make sense#I mean he's still a very unpleasant teenage boy don't get me wrong but nonetheless#In our day and age even grown adults are regularly affected by all kinds of brainrot and conspiracy theory stuff#We live in the internet age but I'm not entirely sure that there aren't comparisons to be drawn#Between unpleasant child Robert - called a wonderful boy by his parents; convinced he is Elect#highly book smart but deeply aware that there is something wrong about his family#Being tempted continually by visions of the Devil and raised in an age of constant civil and religious debate and strife#Where every side is utterly convinced of the complete moral validity and right of their own particular views#And some kid today coming out with all sorts of absolute nonsense as a result of being exposed to internet brainrot#Be it fascism or misogyny or even political views that I agree with but can become dogma and conspiracy theory in the wrong hands#In particular Robert's been raised in a very dogmatic household but also told exceptions will be made for him because he's special#Also something something late 17th century print culture boom and propaganda wars vs 21st century internet etc is this anything#I'm not necessarily saying this is a story for our times all I'm saying is there are timeless qualities in it#(Obviously that's what makes it a classic it's just I tend to notice more the portrayals of ill-made marriage#or Edinburgh mob violence and was less interested in the psychology of Mummy's Little Fanatic on the first reading)#Possibly the early part of the novel accidentally gives the impression that Robert is slightly older#because of throwaway lines like George mistaking him for a student of divinity#Even if Robert had been attending the university though that doesn't track#Based on what I remember of early 16th century norms and what little I know of late 18th century stuff#It would be perfectly normal for university students in Scotland in this period to start around the age of 14#Some went even earlier- I definitely remember coming across lads who matriculated at the age of 12 or 13 or younger#Idk maybe I was the only one who had that particular image of him as a young adult in my head#Maybe I was the only one who was too stupid to work this out earlier and it affected my reading#But still if there's one thing I'm taking away from this re-read it's going to be 'Dear god that is a 13/14/15 year old boy'#That being said don't want to overdo it; as a former teenage girl I used to hate when reading the Crucible and people were all#Oh that's just OBVIOUSLY what all teenage girls are like so not trying to compartmentalise boys; but at the same time o.O
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becca-alexa · 2 years ago
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love it when i meet with people and find out their sole purpose in life is finding me a husband 😔🙏💗
#becca.txt#and i mean this in the most sarcastic way possible#these people way too invested in my life#leave me alone#if i find someone who wants to go out with me that's cool#if i don't that's also cool#either way it's nobody's business#not my fault all of you married at 22 and are living unfufilled lives as a result#not saying you can't have a fufilling life having married young - you certainly can#but NONE of the people i'm referring to were in any way shape or form prepared to marry when they did#the only person i know in my circle w/a successful marriage met dated and married her now husband in <6 months#i have cousins who married at 19!!!in this day and age!#are you INSANE???#some of these people desperately needed to be told that your value as a woman does not depend on your status with a man#like what the hell this ain't the year of our lord 1662 go live your life you don't need a man to be happy???what the hell????#what's even better is when i tell them i'm not looking and they pull the 'oh don't worry i'm looking for you!'#please i don't want do get within 15feet of anybody these people 'find for me'#if it were up to me i'd marry closer to 30 and adopt a bunch of kids - which is another thing#if you don't think adopting children means they're YOUR children simply because you didn't birth them you can get fucked#i had an aunt say this to me over the holidays#everybody's so gung-ho about my fertility issues but i'm realistic so i tell everyone i'll adopt and save myself the trouble#then she pulls the 'oh they won't really be your kids tho???' like BITCH WHAT YOU MEAN???#I'LL BE RAISING THEM HOW ARE THEY NOT MY KIDS???like PLEASE#pls ignore i just needed to rant a little bit
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corvidiss · 27 days ago
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#smile at people #a majority of the time people will smile back and you win Human Points #learn how to compliment people and do it often #Normalcy is a perspective that changes depending on who is looking but kindness and a positive attitude shows the same view to everyone #basic politeness with a little extra effort is amazingly difficult at times #but it goes MILES
Genuinely good advice from @aroace-get-out-of-my-face
can someone recommend some beginner normal behaviors for someone looking to become normal
#life advice#autistic stuff#and anybody who finds this hard which is pretty much everybody#would also add learning the functions and skills of small talk#yes i know i know it's evil it's horrible when nobody told you how#but get this: it's just social glue#it's the human equivalent of hyenas lowing to each other or crows clicking to each other#it's just “hello i exist you are in my social circle i accept your existence and please know that i don't hate you”#and it's got some fairly basic first-level rules too!! You intiate the greeting (Hello/hi/howdy/good evening/etc depending on context – yea#that dependency can be a bit trickier to learn but if you think of social structure it helps; e.g. this human supposedly ranks higher than#me and has not spoken to me before so i need to say “hello” instead of “wassup”)#and then you say “how are you?” or the less formal “how's it going?” (meaning: *I am initiating small talk*) and they will say “I'm alright#you?” (meaning: *I accept your move to small talk and value your input*) and you say “I'm okay” (NOT meaning: I am actually okay – but#rather *I appreciate your acceptance of my move to small talk and respect you so I will complete this ritual*)#in some cases people will go into a bit more detail – typically in response to “How's it going?” or “How've you been?” rather than “How are#you?” (in less formal contexts e.g. between friends) – and say something like#“Yeah I'm doing alright; had a lot of stuff on this week so I'm looking forward to a break!” and this is where you employ your Sympathetic#Vocalisation (“mm yeah” (solemn. nod head towards them at medium speed a couple of times)#BUT. you do not dwell on this. they will probably ask you “what about you?” afterwards and here you say something like “I'm good; I've got#some pasta I'm looking forward to eating tonight” (or any other bland mundane thing about your life. note: you CAN lie. not extravagantly#but you can say “Yeah I'm great; been busy too but gotta stay on your toes eh?” when you actually want to collapse right now#generally people react well to either positivity or wry humour at your negative experience#like: either bring out something that's a minor good thing and refer to that (see example character's “looking forward to a break”)#or if that's too fake for you you can mention something you're struggling with light heartedly (see: staying on toes example)#generally though people do not want to actually discuss each other's lives here. just social glue! just the “I acknowledge you and wish to#instigate/reaffirm a social bond in this situation so we can then get onto the real stuff or leave with stronger social connections”#anyway that's like the first basic step it; does tend to get a little less straight forward the further you go in#but I've found it a great skill to learn#and once I realised it was in fact a skill just like ice skating or acting or writing i was like ahah! i can learn this!!#and show off like a kid on a skateboard every single day!
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hauntu4ever · 2 years ago
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Ok, I'm sorry, but like. Gender literally is for other people at least a little bit. Like I get that personal gender exploration is good and all, and you should use a gender presentation that makes sense to you, but that is not exclusively an individual consideration. It's also to let people know something about you. Consider:
You did not make up the words "man", "woman", "nonbinary", "trans", "gay", "lesbian", etc. Each of these inherently has some sort of social meaning even if it's not well-defined, and you've learned some version of it as part of growing up.
We use words to communicate meaning to people. Otherwise why would you say words at all.
There are social reasons for an explicit understanding of an individual's sex.
There are social reasons for an explicit understanding of an individual's gender (though they may not be related to the above).
Some things are very obviously not a gender thing. For instance, "I am a man" does not mean "I am a Dorito(tm) brand flavored chip", or "I am a wolf furry". These are different parts of your identity that are not a gender. Also, "I am a man" does not mean "the sky is blue" or anything not inherently related to defining yourself.
You don't need to fit your entire human personality and being into two or three pronouns and make everybody describe you as accurately as possible. That's a) very revealing, b) added burden on the people around you, and c) a lot of information for a very short span of time. You can let others get to know you over time. It's allowed.
I'm not trying to bash trans people or gender inclusivity or exploring your identity or whatever, though I'm sure some people will take it as such. Explorijg your identity is incredible. I've had a great time exploring my gender myself. But you do exist in a world with other people, and communication is a part of that world. You're not alone in choosing the definitions of words, and you don't need to fit your entire identity into one aspect of your identity
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cis people are so funny like they’re just out there shaking & cowering in fear bc they can’t tell what gender someone is. relax
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