#but didn't because the pressure of such a major canon character was too much for them

[thegirlwhowrites642]

Hi, please free to ignore( huge fan of your metas btw)

What are your thoughts on Peter pettigrew? In swm we saw him fanboying over james to being responsible for his death. Just because he was afraid or he never really loved his friends. Many people say James and Sirius treated him shitty thats why he betrayed. Some even say he was just a tag along. Please share your thoughts.

First of all, thank you!

(also, unless they are rude, I don't ignore any questions, it might just take me two years to answer)

Peter Pettigrew

My very controversial opinion on Peter is that I love him (as a character).

To me, Peter is one of those characters who represent how Rowling's clear lack of self-awareness as a person translates in her work into her being unable to recognize her strengths as a writer. The majority of the most interesting things she comes up with are not the ones she focuses on.

And that's the case for Peter Pettigrew, who might be the Marauder with the most interesting story.

It's way too easy to reduce him to a coward as the author seems to want you to believe. And even claiming he didn't love his friends is a flattening of his character.

You can have a tendency to be influenced by peer pressure all you want but you don't become an unregistered animagus to help someone if you don't love the friend you are doing that for and you don't have a bit of courage (especially considering how long the whole thing was and that he wasn't particularly talented). He risked extremely severe consequences on his body due to the possibility of the process going wrong and he risked Azkaban for being unregistered.

That's fundamentally the opposite behavior of the one he later has with the Potters.

I also think it's important to point out how Remus is not a close relative (father, son, brother) and how the help Peter provides is not essential to Remus' survival, it's emotional comfort. The lack of necessity of the animagus matter and the easily cancellable bond with Remus increase the braveness and love of Peter's act (in contrast for example with something like what Narcissa does with her son by lying to Voldemort).

I think Peter's story is the one of someone who lost his courage, not the one of a person who never had it.

Doesn't this also make it so much more delicious how his downfall is caused by the return of a glimpse of honor?

I do agree with the fact that in SWM, James and Sirius don't treat him particularly well, especially Sirius, but I don't think they are that aware of it, especially James. They are a bit crude, and they are arrogant. They are two bright posh 16yo guys in a boarding school in the 70s. I don't expect from them a particularly high level of sensitivity in how they talk to people, especially to someone they take for granted knows to be their friend. Sirius is probably more aware of it, but I believe James to be quite unaware of himself at this point in the timeline. This is before his maturation really kicks in, his whole interaction with Lily shows a lack of self-awareness in how he talks to people (we know Lily turns him into a bit of an idiot, the problem is that he doesn't seem to be aware of it). Sirius on the other hand seems a lot more self-aware than James. A lot of people are not going to like what I'm about to say but: James is canonically a better person than Sirius.

And yet, it is abundantly clear that both James and Sirius love Peter.

James gives into Peter's hands his own life and the ones of his wife and son. Sirius gives in Peter's hands the lives of the family he chose.

In the Shrieking Shack, under all the pain Sirius has for the death of James and Lily, it is evident that there's also the pain that comes from the betrayal of a friend.

"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!" roared Black. "DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!" - Chapter 19, Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban

Lily herself is very attached to Peter, in her letter to Sirius, she calls him Wormy (how cute is that?). And, let's remember that she too puts her life and the ones of her husband and son in Peter's hands.

It's too easy to say Peter was just a tagalong, that they didn't love him. It incredibly diminishes the pain of his act.

I also would like to point out that Peter isn't stupid. He was a double agent, he managed to frame Sirius by using in his favor people’s low opinion of his skills (and Remus and Sirius' rocky relationship). James, Sirius, and Remus might have thought of themselves as smarter than Peter but I don't think they actually believed him to be stupid. Considering who the Marauders are, their knowing how good of a liar, and how cunning Peter could be, would be a perfect explanation of why they became friends in the first place.

Does this mean they all loved Peter but Peter only loved Remus out of his friends?

We can't really be sure of his feelings for Sirius, but the admiration he shows for James and the sense of guilt we know he has for his double agent activities don't really align with that image.

I think Peter's fear for his own life ended up winning over the love for his friends.

But why at this point? Why not at Hogwarts?

Something quite interesting is how Peter's father is the only parent of the Marauders who is never mentioned, not in the books, not in any additional material. Doesn't that align just so well with Peter always putting himself at the service of the most important male figure around? First James, and then after school, with the war going on, Voldemort.

Isn't it such a fitting image, Peter growing up without a father, with a too-cuddling mother whom he ends up resenting, faulting her for the absence of the father? It's so natural to paint him as a young man crushed by a sense of inadequacy towards an image of masculinity he idealizes but can't fulfill, supported by a society filled with a very toxic sense of masculinity and an absent father he can sew on any fantasy he wants.

When Peter was at Hogwarts, being friends with James, and being part of the Marauders, gave Peter a sense of security that allowed him to be brave enough to prioritize his love for his friends over himself.

Out in the real world, though, Voldemort is the dominant man and being positioned against the Dark Lord takes away the sense of security he had as a student. Both times Peter goes to Voldemort, he does it because he doesn't feel safe.

It's also abundantly clear how Peter's siding with Voldemort doesn't come from ideology. He becomes an animagus for Remus, he's a dear friend of Lily.

Peter dies because Voldemort doesn't trust him, and he is right in not trusting him. Somewhere in Peter, there's still the boy who risked his life for a friend.

Try to tell me this is not an interesting character.

He's still a coward overall, but a complex one.

Also, Peter Pettigrew is a clear victim of pretty privilege when it comes to the fandom. I'm ready to bet whatever you want that if he had been described as handsome the most popular ship with Sirius would be Sirus/Peter.

Actually, he didn't even have to be described as handsome, he just needed to not be described as ugly. Draco is described as having a pointy face and people have been lying to themselves claiming he's incredibly handsome for the last twenty-five years.

[muppetears-stuff]

I love Warren but he is high key lost potential and it makes me so sad. His character doesn't have the best writing and has some pretty bad dialogue lines for no reason. Also we don't lnow anything about Warren besides the fact he loves science, movies, and has a crush on Max. Most major characters in the game have a backstory of some kind....except Warren. For god sakes, we get to talk to poor Taylor and learn about her sick mom, but there's net zero info on Warren His character is already very bare bones effort, the fact the devs caved in to procefielders and fucked him up even more to make them happier makes me livid. I stand on my belief that Carlos Luna was sabotaged. I also think there are other LIS1 characters who are lost potential like Brooke, Courtney, Stella, Dana and etc but that's a story for another day. 💀

Me when devs ruin a completely good character with so much potential to appeal to the bigger part of the fan base

NO, BUT FR, I was so mad about this yesterday that I ranted to my older bro about it, and I'll do it again‼️

Long rant, you don't have to read if you don't want to ^^

I just wish we got so much more and to see more of who he was because he is so sweet, and I would've loved to see that more. It infuriates me to no end, knowing that the devs doubled down and appealed to the larger part of the fanbase, giving him fewer appearances, stating that he is a "stalker" in canon. I haven't read the comics but I I'm pretty sure they butchered his character there too.

I get that this game was important to many people, ESPECIALLY in 2014, because of the main female character getting the choice to romance her also female friend, that was super important and still is!!! But it's also not good to completely wipe another character, also stated as Max's best friend and another romance option and just. Giving us the option to hug or kiss him?? I'm not a big grahamfield-er either, but they had a lot of potential if they didn't completely ruin Warren's character because people didn't like him. There's still people who do??

Carlos Luna was definitely sabotaged, I reblogged a post talking about it. Here :3

I would've loved more depth to his character, even though it's really nice to read between the lines and make up some of my own things, I'm super afraid of going off of canon but like. There's barely any canon character to go off of so I can make up my own shit as I please- /pos

But I would've loved some dialogue of him worrying over having to study, and he probably shouldn't be out and about, gives us the feel that he pressures himself too much even if he's already doing his best and is one of the highest achieving students at Blackwell. Would've loved to see him being a bit mischievous at times after being exposed to Chloe, I firmly believe he'd be easily influenced and change his personality for the people he hangs out with without knowing. Which adds more depth!!

But ahhhhhh, I'm sorry for all the rants, guys😔😭 I don't want this to be all of what my blog is but everyone has a little hate/dislike in their heart and for me,,,,is assassinations of good characters. Whether literally or within writing. In Warren's case, it's both. I love sharing my art with all of you, but I still love it when you guys interact and send stuff in my inbox. It makes my day😭💖 This is not me telling you to stop because I kind of like ranting/raving about my favorite characters<3 so thank you ^^💖

Byeeee ^^

[ghostinthegallery]

I can't believe The Silence and the Storm is over a year old! The first anniversary was May 27th (yes I missed my own fic's birthday in my defense I was traveling and forgot how time works).

I'm trying to compose my thoughts because this sure feels like a time a blog post would be fitting. However, my engrams are scrambled because...wow do I have too many feelings.

As some background, I've been a writer for a long time. And I've written 3-5 books (depends on how you count "completing" a book but it's 5 full drafts, 3 of which were heavily edited). I wanted to be a trade published writer (still do) and for a while I was feeling good about my chances! I got lucky and received some wonderful professional mentorship (and met one of my best friends during that program!). I took that guidance to query agents (a necessary step for access to most big/medium US publishers). I knew it would be hard and take time but...4 years later all I have to show are a few requests, hundreds of rejections, and one agent who asked me to rewrite my entire book only to reject me anyway (me, bitter? No not at all nooooo).

I'm a creative person and sharing my work feels like sharing a part of myself. Something that is not easy for me to do. After a while I just assumed I was missing something necessary. My work didn't resonate, but I didn't know how to fix it. I’d never reach anyone in the way I so desperately craved, and it was my fault for not being good enough. I felt broken.

During one of many major depressive episodes my spouse bought me a copy of The Infinite and the Divine. That book has changed my life. I was never much of a fanfic writer before. Either I thought the original work was too good and I didn't think I had anything to add or it was too bad so why would I bother with it when I could just go read/watch something better? 40k inspired me though. The ideas are incredible but underutilized enough that I felt like I had something to add.

So I started writing necron fic because why not? There wasn’t enough for me to read, and I needed more robot stories. Maybe I could rediscover my love of the craft, make some friends, make some robots kiss. Distract my mind from the horrors. So I posted a little OC fic and actually got some nice comments. Hey! Positive reinforcement! Hadn't had that in a while.

Emboldened, I continued in the most normal way possible. Going from a 7 chapter OC story to a giant civil war epic including every named necron character I could find with 6 (then 7...then 9) POVs. It was the type of grand space opera I've always wanted to write but never did because I didn’t think I had the skill and it's harder to sell. Luckily AO3 is free. Ain't no playing to the market there!

Now, a 40k necron civil war space opera is...niche. So I wasn't expecting much. I would have been happy with some kudos, some comments. Fan art felt like a pipe dream, but what are writers if not dreamers? The main goal was to enjoy myself. It was low pressure fun, I love the characters, what could go wrong?

Nothing, but I was wholely unprepared for things to go as right as they did. Y’all have been amazing. So many great comments and ideas exchanged, gorgeous art, fun asks, a lot of screaming (it’s fine probably don’t worry). I’ve never had such a strong outpouring of support for my work. It feels incredible. But also sometimes confusing. I’ve trained myself so well to handle rejection that I kind of forgot how to handle acceptance. Especially for something so personal. This is a weird story about undead space robots, there’s a lot of politics, sometimes the robots have sex. It’s got out there head canons, and 99% of the tyranid parts are pulled out of my ass because nobody knows how the space bugs work okay. My weirdness being embraced on this scale is one of the greatest feelings of my life. But it’s also new, and way out of my comfort zone. I’m being seen and adjusting to that.

Still, writing in this space has been one of the most consistently joyful things in my life for…well, over a year now! It’s changed how I view my art. I actually can create stories that touch people and make them feel things. I can take risks and have them pay off. I know not everyone will love this, but some people really seem to love it. That is mind blowing to me.

It’s making me reassess a lot about how I approach my art. Writing and other. I still plan to pursue publication. I want to get paid for my work, but this is making me consider alternate paths that might fit my style (and psyche) better. I don’t know what the future holds, but if you’d told me a year and a half ago that a big part of it would hinge on an AO3 gay robot skeleton space opera…I would have thought you were nuts, but also hoped you were right because that sounds rad as hell.

So in conclusion, thank you all so much for reading <3

[thatradfailure]

Genderbent mercs. If you even care.

Notes about them under the cut because I put way too much thought into one off designs (even though Sniper and Scout technically aren't one off because I drew them before, came back, didn't like the designs, and decided to do an entire revamp and include three of their pals)

Sniper: Since she's a woman in a hypermasculine society (Australia) she probably grew up with extra pressure to also be hypermasculine, but failed a little extra hard because she's Woman. So, I gave her a lot of teeth jewelry for the intimidation factor they provide, as well as boots instead of regular shoes. I also gave her claw nails so that she can be perceived as extra dangerous. Otherwise, her short hair isn't necessarily a style she likes, but one she feels pressured to have to look more masculine and thus fit in better. I like the idea of fem!Sniper with braids tbh but couldn't see it fitting here.

Scout: Basically, she's both proud and insecure of her femininity. She dresses cute, she has cute stickers, and she constantly rubs it in people's face that they're being beat by a girl. But to be taken more seriously, she also masculinizes herself. Not her love of sports, that's natural, but she acts more boyish and speaks deeper than her natural register. Her young looks and immature attitude probably get her infantilized moreso than canon Scout, much to her great annoyance, which makes her double down on her boyish traits.

Medic: Honestly nothing too major to note. It was just important to me to get across that she's just as willing to sew a baboon uterus into a man as canon Medic is. Added a skirt because Medic is a prime and proper kinda guy, and heels because I think she deserves the intimidation factor.

Spy: Much like Medic, nothing too major to note. However, I think it's fairly evident that she looks the least like her canon character than the others. This is because men's and women's fashion is so different. She's also BLU in a RED lineup because I thought it'd be funny.

Engineer: Unlike the others, I actually based her design on concept art (the post I referenced specifically being here: https://www.tumblr.com/renposter/730118522655686656/official-gender-swapped-versions-of-the-tf2-roster?source=share). Specifically, the Rosie Rivets-esk hair for some of the fem!Heavy concepts, and the boots from one of the actual fem!Engineer concepts. I also included two little details- one is that her sleeve for her right arm is down, tucked into the glove. This is an allusion to her prosthetic hand, since a lot of people tend to have (needlessly) harsh beauty opinions about that, and beauty standards on women are. Especially harsh in the little details. Not to say they aren't harsh on men (I am so sorry you all are expected to look like Greek statues) but this post ain't about that. The second detail is the addition of the Teddy Roosevelt cosmetic, which is like a little good luck charm to her! There's no real reason, I just thought it'd look cute. Oh, and also she's about to bash Spy in with her wrench. Because she's the only one that's noticed. Unless Sniper knows but has stayed quiet about it because I'm a SniperSpy shipper-

[skaruresonic]

Honestly, as fun as it was to go "Jesse what the fuck are you talking about" at the absurdity of fandom tourists who refused to engage with canon in good faith, it still felt like people explaining the nitty-gritty of how and why Freemance "didn't count" as pedophilia were giving the antis too much ground. Like they were implying there was a point that any given HL ship could be considered too problematic to defend.

As someone who ships Valhoun, which could arguably be considered more problematic than Freemance in this system of moral checks and balances by mere virtue of Barney actually being in his forties or so (although even that is debatable tbh), as opposed to Gordon's Schroedinger's Creepy Old Man Status, needless to say, I found the whole thing ridiculous.

To me it doesn't really matter even if Gordon was 47, because Half-Life exists in a context where real-life social mores don't apply as stringently. Humanity is on its last legs and Eli wants grandkids, yo. I have argued in the past that age gap squicks would likely lessen out of necessity following the Combine's breeding suppression. People need to procreate in order to repopulate the species, after all, and beggars can't be choosers. Kleiner said "get busy fuckin' or get busy dyin'" for a reason.

However, I'm not terribly keen on Freemance because Gordon's blank-slate status means I'd have to make up his characterization in my head, and it just doesn't seem worth the effort. I always feel like I'm shipping a dozen different versions of Gordon rather than Gordon himself. He also... just doesn't react to Alyx, making their chemistry incredibly lopsided. At least Barney goes "Eugh" when Alyx teases him about "not being an animal person"; Gordon just presumably stands there like :I when she cracks her Zombine joke.

Despite lifting somewhat in recent years, fandom has an ironclad "Barney is Alyx's uncle/big bro" fanon, which is just as annoying as "Shadria is incest" because it basically sprang out of nowhere. Canon seems to imply that Barney and Alyx are acquaintances at best, not terribly familiar with each other outside of their faintly overlapping social circles. Kleiner is honestly their only link. Barney, in fact, has less reason than most other older male characters to be considered one of Alyx's honorary uncles. At the very least Alyx suggests the possibility Gordon may have seen her once as a child; no such equivalent exists for Barney. The idea he babysat her is also hilarious considering he never even directly addresses Eli in HL2. On top of that, there's the issue of infantilizing Alyx, which I could rant about for hours. Yes, Valhoun may be just as "fanon" as Uncle Barney headcanons, but that doesn't mean I'm not thinking in terms of the series' overarching context. I view Valhoun as a sort of push-pull dynamic between Barney and Alyx, duty stifling love and placed inside a pressure-cooker of sexual repression. Hot. Plus, there's that forbidden fruit aspect of rebel/Metrocop lol. And while I would in a perfect world like to see the two be together, given HL's bleak world, realistically, I don't see it working out. Not even in an "Alyx dumps his ass for Gordon" kind of way, necessarily, but in a "they break up out of fear for each other's safety but there are still lingering feelings if they gaze in the other's wake for too long" kind of way. I have also argued that all three major HL ships bear imbalances. Valhoun does not suffer the experience gap that Freemance and Freehoun would; Barney and Alyx would have shared roughly the same life experiences under Combine rule that Gordon lacks.

[ogalcaleweek]

Hiya friend! What do you like about og!Cale and your headcanons for him (+Alveru too)? (Sorry for this ask I just want to read more about og!Cale like his personality, abilities, etc I just miss him when I tried and didn't not find much info about him)

The following is a mixture of canon characterization notes for og!Cale and Alver alongside headcanons and conjectures. The headcanons and conjectures are all marked as such and they are based on the limited information we have about the canon dispositions of these characters. We focused mainly on the TBOAH timeline, referencing the LCF timeline in places to support a supposition made.

We apologize for the delay in replying, we were trying to provide you with as detailed an explanation as possible. We eventually realized that we were taking too long to answer so this isn't as detailed an answer as we would like to give you but we hope this helps you get an idea of his personality. If we have time, we'll try to provide a more detailed resource for their characterizations.

Original Cale Henituse

Pre-War

It is observed by Ron that Cale acted like Ohn when he was younger, before he started to act like trash. Extrapolating from that, it is likely that from a young age until around the age of ten, Cale was a precocious and cautious child who is protective of his loved ones. In the specific scene where Ohn reminded Ron of Cale, she was in the middle of receiving her favorite candies because she was worried about her loved ones.Specifically, she was hiding her own worries and fears by acting mature, she struggled specifically because of her own perceptiveness. It is reasonable to extrapolate that as a child, Cale tended to worry about others a lot and he was too perceptive for his own good. It’s also reasonable to assume that Cale may have spent time seeking comfort for servants like Ron.

Due to the nature of nobility in the timeline that the Rowoon Kingdom is loosely based upon, it is also likely that Cale was primarily raised by servants and nannies. There is nothing to back this up in canon aside from Ron being the only character to reflect on Cale’s childhood years. Since there is no mentioned nanny in the current LCF timeline it is likely that Cale chased away the nanny during his trash years (or that the nanny theory is false). If it is true that Cale chased away his own nanny (nannies are frequently something like a surrogate mother to small children), then there is a likelihood that either a) there was an issue with the nanny, possibly related to the vassal families because Cale shows a leeriness toward them when he warned Bassen against showing weakness toward them. Or b) Cale has even more mommy issues than just Jour and Violan and there’s potentially a third mother-figure in his life that he lost. If he chose to chase her away to preserve his trash act, that could result in abandonment issues. There’s also a possibility that she passed away.

While Cale is shown to be a precocious and compassionate child prior to his father’s remarriage, but there is a sharp shift in his behavior afterward. While it is possible that Cale resented his step-family, it feels unlikely in conjunction with his other’s actions. The following has some conjecture to fill the gaps but the majority is based entirely on canon facts. From the bits we get in canon it paints the picture that Cale was worried that Bassen would be too weak to endure the pressure of the vassal family placed upon him, especially as he doesn’t have any Henituse blood in him, and strictly told Bassen to assert himself as a part of the family. However, when it became clear that Bassen would be unable to do so, Cale took drastic measures into his own hands. We speculate that Deruth’s remarriage to Violan happened when Cale was at least ten years old (because 8 years later, Lilly is seven years old) and shortly after Cale began to act like trash. His purpose in acting like a lout was to redirect all negative attention away from his step family (Violan, Bassen, and Lilly) and become a lightning rod for the criticism of the vassal families. He was so successful in this endeavor that at some point, the rest of the family needed to fight against those who would rather he be disowned or at least disinherited.

We speculate that Cale’s reasons for taking such drastic measures to protect his step family might lie in those two years between Jour’s death and Violan’s marriage. Deruth is canonically described as a “buffoon” by Jour (in a loving way) and within LCF canon, he has shown himself to be a bit dense when it comes to politics. Deruth excels in economics but he doesn’t appear to have a tactical mind (from what we have seen of him in canon thus far). He was also shown to have been very distraught by Jour’s sudden death (reasonably so). While we would not go so far as to accuse Deruth of being neglectful of Cale during those two years, it is possible that he trusted the wrong people. If he were to entrust Cale’s education to a seemingly loyal vassal family who had the desire to use Cale rather than teach him, it could result in Cale’s mistrust for his father’s ability to protect his step family from the vassal family. This aspect is purely speculation but it would explain Cale’s rather dramatic decision to take matters into his own hands. This is also another potential juncture in his timeline that could explain the missing nanny, if she was sent away or fired by vassals, he could feel an even stronger desire to protect those that he perceived as “weak” (such as Bassen) in order not to lose them.

For whatever reason, Cale chose the dramatic path of pretending to be trash for eight years straight. A foolish decision of a child carried into early adulthood. At the age of fifteen, he started to drink heavily and get into bar fights. In one of his thoughts while drinking, kim!Cale reflected that Cale’s body had a high alcohol tolerance but his face flushed quickly. This leads to the supposition that despite all of his “drunken” antics, Cale was only faking because of his alcohol tolerance. A strong alcohol tolerance can often also relate to tolerance against medicine and drugs, so it is possible that Cale has a certain level of endurance against being drugged or poisoned. While Cale was “drunk”, he would frequently pick fights at bars but it is noted that while he would destroy furniture and bottles, he never hit anyone. And the only people he would pick fights with would be gangsters and other lowlives. Cale is shown to have a disdain for people like that, possibly out of an internal sense of justice or simply because he finds them annoying.

In one such bar fight, Cale picks on a suspicious vagrant from Harris Village. He bullies Choi Han on multiple occasions before Choi Han cracks and beats the shit out of Cale, leaving him with a noticeable scar and significant injuries. It isn’t stated outright whether Cale would normally shit-talk people like Choi Han, the survivor of a horrific tragedy, in such horrible ways but we have some speculation as to why he did it. To be clear, we do not endorse any of the things that Cale said to Choi Han. One of the reasons that canon directs us to believe Cale had such a volatile reaction to Choi Han is the mention of “Harris Village”. His mother’s sudden death was after a visit to Harris Village. Cale was only eight at the time and his understanding of the situation was that his perfectly healthy mother left to visit the village and then came back at death’s door. Since Jour died from cracking her own plate, there wouldn’t be any clear understanding of how she died for Cale to latch onto. Considering Cale’s disdain for gangsters, it’s possible that he believed his mother was attacked in the village and died from her injuries. Since no one in the village helped her, to his knowledge, it’s possible that he wrote off the entire village as “bad people”. That said, Cale is 18 years old when he picks a fight with Choi Han and in the 10 years since Jour died, he should have reconsidered the situation. We offer a secondary explanation for Cale’s behavior toward Choi Han. While we believe that a portion of it was because Cale’s trauma was triggered, we speculate that the upcoming nobles meeting had a lot to do with it.

In the LCF timeline, kim!Cale spent a few days in Cale’s body while pretending to be a lout (badly) before Deruth told Cale that he would be going to the capital as the heir apparent, in Bassen’s place. As Cale is still acting like trash at the age of 18, it is likely that Cale wants Bassen to be the heir to the Henituse family and he is purposefully attempting to get disinherited. Since Deruth was so quick to change his mind, literally giving Cale the role of heir after a very short amount of time spent behaving well after literal years of misbehavior, it is very likely that Deruth wanted to send Cale to the capital the entire time. As stated before, Cale is a perceptive person so it is very possible that he knew that Deruth still wanted to send him instead of Bassen so Cale was searching for something to do that would force his father to give up on him, or at bare minimum clear the path for Bassen, thus when the violent and traumatized Choi Han crossed his path, he was a convenient entity. If Cale got beat up bad enough, he wouldn’t be able to travel to the capital. And as a fringe bonus, due to his issues with Harris Village, he would probably feel justified in his cruel words. As an addition, we have a headcanon that Bassen was caught up in the terror attack on the capital and he was either injured or killed. Either would result in Cale being really fucked up with guilt over sending Bassen to the capital.

After successfully getting his ass handed to him, Cale would wake up to learn that Ron and Vicross had left with Choi Han. While it is unclear whether Cale had any attachment at all to Vicross (the few times Vicross mentions information about the young master prior to his possession, Vicross’s accounts are distant as though they didn’t interact much and he didn’t have any interest in interacting with Cale before Cale was possessed by Kim Roksu), it is clear that there is some sort of relationship between Ron and Cale. Ron is shown to have been one of the servants responsible for caring for Cale as he grew up and one of the few characters who never show fear to Cale, only suppressed amusement. It’s clear that Ron has some attachment to Cale, with the number of times in LCF that he thinks fondly about Cale pre-possession, and he appears to be one of the few characters to show any actual suspicion about Cale’s sudden change in behavior when Kim Roksu possessed his body. He’s also the only character we see rationalize the change by comparing the similarities between Kim Roksu’s personality and Cale’s personality (recognizing that Cale has always had a compassionate side, even while he was trash). While it is also clear that Ron prefers kim!Cale to og!Cale, there’s definitely a bond there. Ron’s sudden disappearance from Cale’s life was likely a blow. Although, it is debatable whether he would resent Ron for this or not.

It is noted by Ron that Cale was never aggressive toward his family, even when he was drunk as hell. And the manhwa even provides us with an image of Cale sitting next to his siblings peacefully. So while Cale’s behavior was definitely cruel, aggressive, and trashy, he was never abusive to his siblings or parents. It’s also stated that Cale never defied his father directly and that Cale comforted Deruth after Jour’s death.

We can definitely speculate that Cale’s behavior is significantly more extreme than kim!Cale’s. Whenever kim!Cale would do something rude and trashy, people would heave a sigh of relief because it lacked the extreme measures that Cale would go to. From this information, we speculate that Cale yelled a lot more than kim!Cale and broke things more often, especially since people flinched away from him so much. We also speculate that Cale has superb aim because while he threw things at people a lot, he never hit them. This shows that he has enough control to avoid hitting them, even when intoxicated.

Further speculation about Cale’s influences at a young age. Cale is described as “elegant” multiple times during his brief appearances in canon. While it is likely that this description is meant to allude to his nobility, there aren’t many other noble characters who are described as elegant. Since Jour died when he was still very young and her personality from the diary is bouncy and playful, it is unlikely her influence. Since Deruth is never described as elegant, rather as a “buffoon”, it’s also unlikely to be his influence. This leaves three candidates for Cale’s elegance: Ron, Violan, and the potential nanny that we speculated about existing. Ron is graceful but we lean toward Violan in this case because of one other piece of slim evidence. Kim!Cale’s clothes throughout the LCF manhwa are excessive and fashionable, but everything we know about Kim Roksu directs to an interest in simple and black clothes. Whenever he chooses his own clothes, such as when he was investigating the capital before the terror attack and when he chose his uniform as a commander, kim!Cale always leaned toward “simple and black”. However he has an extensive wardrobe of beautiful clothes. We speculate that those clothes belonged to Cale (obviously) and kim!Cale is merely wearing what the servants dress him in. We see something like this happen in the early chapters, with kim!Cale privately disapproving of the loud clothes but surmising that he could pull it off because of Cale’s handsome face. Moving into our speculations regarding Violan, she has a passion for the arts and fashion is an art. She’s also an ex-merchant so she would know the value of fine fabrics and fine clothes. In the flashback we see of eight year old Cale, he does not appear to have any sort of excessive tastes in fashion. Thus, we are of the opinion that Cale was influenced by Violan in both elegance and fashion due to her close proximity to him growing up. Violan is shown to be the only person in the household that is remotely strict to Cale (and even that is pushing it) by insisting that kim!Cale has an entourage for his own safety. As the only parental figure left in his life who is willing to tell him “no”, we think that Violan would have a specific impact on him. All of that said, it is also possible that Cale was influenced elsewhere or merely had innate elegance, we just find that this explanation creates a lot of room for Cale to bond with his step family and grow attached to them, thus making the tragedy of losing them all the worse. Also it’s just a more compelling explanation to us than “he’s just elegant, don’t question it” lol.

On the note of speculated relationships, we speculate that Cale’s relationship with Eric was stronger when they were younger and became strained when Cale began to act like trash. Eric, being a bullheaded person, never gave up on “fixing” Cale’s misbehavior which led to Cale distancing himself further. We headcanon that the pair of them got into funny little antics together, because of Cale’s precocious nature and Eric’s strong personality. Perhaps they studied together. We also speculate that Cale had some sort of frenemy relationship with Neo Tolz, simply because Neo seemed to have a personally beef with Cale when he attempted to pick a fight with kim!Cale. On that note, we believe that Cale would have had a largely negative feeling toward Raon because his only knowledge of the tragic baby dragon was that he had a mana explosion and murdered a bunch of people relatively close to his own territory, perhaps crossing the border depending on how long it took Choi Han to subdue him. And on a purely speculative note with no canon basis, we have a headcanon that Cale would sneak into Lilly’s nursery and play with her when she was a baby/toddler. Purely because it would be really cute and we love Cale treasuring his baby sister. It’s possible that Cale helped with Lilly’s sword training, since he was in good shape when Kim Roksu possessed his body. We like to headcanon that he also helped Bassen with his studies sometimes, albeit behind a mask of strictness.

(On a side note, Cale appears to have a lot of pride in being a Henituse from the few scenes we see him in and he seems concerned about the family he left behind in order to save the world)

An unspecified amount of time later, Cale was the only survivor of the Henituse territory being destroyed and joined the army in order to fight against the White Star and avenge his family.

—

During War

Actions: 

Recruited as a soldier, joins the army with the intent to get revenge against the White Star. He said he just wants to leave a scratch on the WS, or he can’t die in peace.

Fought in a war for twenty years, in enough battles to get a body covered in scars.

During the great battle in puzzle city, where the fallen nation’s survivors banded together, he almost died after hearing the White Star mention that Choi Han’s time was warped.

He then made a deal with the god of death, to switch with a person who could save his family and territory. By rewinding time back to Choi Han’s meeting with Cale. His other condition was to find out the truth about his mother’s death, and be reunited with her (i think)

HC:  His options to make an impact in any other way probably seemed realistically limited. A little suicidal. He would have been reckless, wanting to fight in the vanguard for the most part. Choosing jobs that can bring him closer to the Generals and other people in power in the White Star’s army to kill them. He would want to kill as many of the enemy as possible, partially because he may not know who exactly killed his family. Anyone in that Army could’ve been one of the people responsible.

Motivations: 

HC: Revenge, Existential Crisis, Survivor’s guilt, Suicidal feelings/thoughts, love for his family and territory, wanting justice, loyalty. Extreme anger. Hopelessness, trying to find hope.

Relationships:

HC: Not sure about this one. We don’t know who he was close to during the war. But he does mention Alver, Choi Han, Rosalyn, and Lark. Doesn’t mean he came into contact with them much if at all, or spoke to them and such. They may have lead him during battles at some points. He could have taken direct orders, but I feel like a commander lower on the food chain would be leading him since he was a foot soldier.

Opinions:

HC: Cale was only living at that point to get revenge, it is what kept him alive, and prevented him from falling into despair and ending everything. He has survivor’s guilt, and couldn’t just die for several reasons. Avenging the family, trying to make sure their deaths aren’t meaningless etc;

—

Post War

(We'll try to add more detail later, such as his relationships with his coworkers, bosses, and Choi Jungsoo. Alongside the characterization we see of him in canon. We weren't able to get to this. This section is largely incomplete. However, we do recommend reading the side story "Team Leader has become Trash!" or anything written by @asterefflores for a good idea on how to characterize Heniroksu properly.)

Relationships

Jour Henituse (reincarnation):

The reincarnation of Cale’s mother Jour. She has no memory of her previous life and currently lives in an orphanage. She calls Cale her uncle.

Headcanon: Cale has a lot of issues raising his own mother as a daughter in an unfamiliar world. He loves her and cares about her but damn, fate is fucked up. He finds comfort in having her nearby though, as the only family that he has left. And it's an interesting experience for him to get to know his mother for the first time. She died when he was only eight years old so he really didn't know her very well back then. Now he's able to get to know her and love her like a daughter. It's a strange and awkward relationship but it's the only familial one he has left.

Opinions

HC: Cale as KRS is a hard worker but hates it. He doesn’t want to work the night shift. He is always threatening to quit to keep people in line. He wants to be the CEO of the company so he doesn’t have to work so hard. He talks about drinking at work. People find his smile strange. His elegance strange. They say he radiates class. He has a nickname ‘i want to quit kim rok soo.’  He was supplied with information about KRS and records of his memories i think lmao he also inherited all of KRS’ abilities. He works on building a relationship with his reincarnated mother

—

Alver Crossman

During War

Actions:

Ascended to king after Zed Crossman was killed in puzzle city. Made sure the Roan Kingdom survived for twenty whole years through a worldwide war. Worked with fallen Kingdoms, gathered them to fight in a great battle toward the very end. It is implied he was the brain behind the army. He raised people like Choi Han to be heroes. Recruited soldiers from across the Roan Kingdom. There is also information about Robbit, that after Alver died in the war in TBOAH original timeline, Robbit was the one to take over. If Alver died, it was before time was reset.

Motivations: 

HC: Alver wants to win the war. Period. Liberate the freaking kingdom, defeat the white star, recover all the lost areas, protect his people and ensure as many survive as possible, and drive the enemy out of his kingdom, defeat them, and live. Because Alver is someone who has a very strong will to live. This should never be underestimated or ignored. He is the opposite of suicidal. In the case of if Tasha died during the war, he would be even more determined to win it. In this aspect, he and og!Cale are alike. Alver can survive any amount of pain, not undamaged, or unbroken, but he will go on. He won’t stop fighting until there is nothing left to fight for or he is dead and this is what makes him truly terrifying when combined with his intelligence and how far he is willing to go. He is an excellent leader because he never stops moving forward. He knows how to inspire people, raise them up as heroes, and is an extremely powerful orator. He’s one bad bitch.

Relationships

Zed Crossman: 

HC & Canon?: Died in a battle of puzzle city early on in the war? Which makes it seem like there were two puzzle city battles. I haven’t been able to figure out what happened there to this day.

Tasha:

HC: I imagine she and Shawn were by Alver’s side for a majority of everything. Likely both Commander Shawn and Tasha were commanders, leading the dark elves, and other races alike. Or, she could have died, and this is something I contemplate a lot unfortunately. How many people actually survived this war? Anyway – 

Northeastern Nobles:

The Eastern lands were among the first to be attacked and burnt to the ground, this is why the Roan Kingdom was desperately trying to recover the eastern areas of the Kingdom.

HC: if any of the northeastern nobles survived, I imagine they went into hiding or fought like Cale, or did what a lot of people in war do, evacuate the mothereffing country. But where would they go when all their neighbors were being conquered, defeated and subjugated, some sacrificed most likely? It’s uncertain.

----

((We will attempt to finish this overview of characterization for both og!Cale and Alver when we have the time to do so! We apologize for the incomplete notes provided.))

[dani-luminae]

choose violence 💖🔥 1 8 9 10 12 and 13

1] the character everyone gets wrong

BEN BEN BEN BEN BEN - he's not stupid or naive!!! He's compassionate and kind!!!! He did not tell Mal to change or act like he wanted her to change at all!!!!!!

8] Common fandom opinion everyone is wrong about

I don't interact with the larger fandom enough to really... know what opinions are popular or not. But one I have seen circulated is that "Ben and Audrey were in an arranged marriage" uhhh no???? They were not???? They were just boyfriend and girlfriend. Yeah it sucks that Audrey's grandmother put so much pressure on Audrey's status and stuff but that is still not the same as an arranged marriage and he was free to end it.

There's also someone who thinks that Audrey cheated on Ben... because she kissed Chad at the tourney game. After Ben sang a whole love song to Mal and it was pretty damn clear the relationship was over, hence why Audrey immediately pivoted to Chad.

9] worst part of canon

How all the male characters of Descendants get disregarded completely for the sake of female character arcs. Not just Ben even, but also Jay, Carlos, Harry and Gil didn't even have arcs, they turned Doug into a joke, Chad with Audrey... I could go on and on.

10] worst part of fanon

Everyone being like "the Isle has to be an abusive, violent sh*thole" as if these are real-life villains and not obviously cartoony fantasy villains. Like yeah I get the idea. It's fun to explore in fics. But so many people treat it like it's fact????

Also the idea that Auradon was united by force and not diplomacy. Like people really really want it to be a dystopia for some reason (and ignore the literal meaning of "dystopia" in the process.) Like I get that as an older audience we're all a little more disenchanted and jaded with the state of the world than the 12-16 year olds this franchise is meant for, but come on.

This is kinda why I don't interact with a large majority of the fandom, to be honest. I learned fast that I'm not interested in the aspects that most of the fandom are attached to.

12] the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

I'm gonna be honest, I think the fandom is too mean to Chad. There's such a vast difference between his D1 characterization and his D2-D3 attitude that something very clearly went sidewise in the writing room.

D1 Chad had a pretty interesting arc of "Auradon kid raised good but still awful" as a direct parallel to the Isle kids arcs of "Isle kid raised evil but good... feels better?"

D2-D3 Chad is like... what happened. This is not the same guy from the first movie.

(Also people acting like he's too dumb to have made it into college like said in D4... sports scholarships exist. Maybe he found his niche interest and really does well with it. There's a thousand possibilities and I really hate that people dismissed it with "he's too dumb for that." That phrase could be anything from generally dismissive to outright ableist - in my personal view, I doubt anyone meant that - and I just don't like it.)

13] Worst blorbofication

Controversial opinion: people really just reduced Harry's character to being Uma's violent right-hand guy, which I think does a major disservice to his character. Don't get me wrong, I love Huma very much, but I love it with dimensions of "why does Harry follow her? What drives his loyalty? Could he have commanded a crew on his own? How does his family life affect his home on the ship and with his crew?"

~~~

Anyways. Choose violence fandom asks!

[ccrisntok]

TW// Blood, Implied Death, Suicidal thoughts/actions, Violence, Homophobia, Mentions of SA (Basically all the stuff that happens it Heathers: The Musical.)

this is really long and you kind of have to know the plot of Heathers to understand it. Major spoilers for DRDT and Heathers btw

Ayoo, I'm here with some doodles and basic story outlines based off of @another-danganronpa-fan's DRDT + Heathers au! I took some like, creative liberties I guess. Didn't really change things at all, but added a lot of things! Sorry if I messed with your au a bit too much haha. (Also this is probably not the only doodles I'll make about this au it has snatched my brain.)

I'll explain some stuff along the way.

Xander as Veronica! (He still has his eye, its just sensitive to light and a different color). I feel like you could switch Xander and Teruko and the au would still work, but as the creator of the au explained, Xander just *barely* makes more sense as Veronica. He's more optimistic than Teruko is, and more willing to trust others. Also, David is a Heather in this au, so it makes sense that Xander would idolize them. Also also, we see canonically that Xander hates murder, but will do it if he really thinks it's necessary. I don't think he would kill people in this au on purpose though, and still feel as bad, if not worse about it than Veronica does.

Teruko as JD: Pretty obvious. Troubled family past, prone to violence if necessary, extremely distrustful of others? i don't really know if her luck would be a factor in this au, but if it was, it would probably explain why her life is so messed up. She'd kill some bitches.

Arturo as Heather Chandler. I feel like he's the only person in the cast who would be a big enough dick to be Heather C, and his obsession with beauty could be a factor of why he treats everyone like minions instead of people. He would probably die the same way, and for the same reasons as Heather C. Poisoned after making Xander and Teruko mad. His red ribbon... tie, thing would be the "red scrunchy" of this au.

David as Heather Duke: Yeah. Like, I feel like he fits her to a tee. After Art dies, he takes place as the leading Heather, and becomes a total asshole (probably similar to his breakdown in cannon). Also, since Arei is Heather Mac, it would make sense for him to try and force her into suicide, since that's what he insists he does in cannon. He may give Xander some hair-clips as a show of friendship.

Arei as Heather Mac: This one seems weird at first, but this Arei is in the middle of her redemption arch (for reasons that will be explained later). She's more snarky than cannon Mac, but also is going through a lot of mental turmoil. I'd say her sisters are still around. and her home life is pretty terrible, so she relishes in the power being a Heather gave her. Until she meets Eden, and realizes how little being powerful in high school matters.

Eden as: Martha! I made quite a few changes to her character, because her being in love with the Ram of this au wouldn't have worked. So I made her in love with Arei. Obviously, in cannon Heathers, Veronica helps forge a love confession to make a fool out of Martha, and I feel like Xander would be pressured to do the same thing. In doing this, he could also end up outing her publicly, admittedly probably not thinking about that as a factor (can you tell this part of the au is where I'm most passionate hflkas).

I feel like Xander wouldn't have bad intentions with outing Eden, but he still does it accidently, probably being like "THERES MORE GIRLS IN THE SEA BESTIE, FIND A BETTER ONE" in a crowed room while wasted.

I also feel like these feelings would be ACTUALLY mutual, unlike Martha's feelings for Ram. I added this in because I just don't think Arei and Arturo would be very close, or "Ram and Kurt", but seeing Eden's recent public humiliation added to her "friends" deaths might push her over the edge. It also would give her a reason to soften up, and fit the Heather Mac role.

Also, hearing about Arei's suicide attempt could also influence to Eden's suicide attempt later, since she doesn't really care about the other people's deaths in this au.

now to my least favorites...

...Ace as Ram, and Levi as Kurt. Hu as Mrs. Fleming makes total sense and I support that wholeheartedly, but Levi and Ace.... are kinda the only ppl who could fit the roles so 💀

I made quite a few changes to these two, the huge, major one being they don't try and SA Xander. There was no way in hell I was making them rapists, in any way shape or form. They're still pieces of shit, just not in that way (fuck Ram and Kurt in actual Heathers frfr I HATE those men oh my god JD was so based.)

Now, Ace and Levi are most definitely still jocks, and bullies. Ace would probably more of a harasser, while Levi is the one beating people up. As mentioned in my little doodle, Ace is only popular bc he "plays sports", rides horses I guess, and is rich, and Levi hangs out with him for only those reasons. Also probably a little gay idk

Instead of trying to SA Xander and lie about him sleeping with them, in this au Ace and Levi lie about Xander beating up Ace for no reason.

Levi is actually the one who beat up Ace, and idk, either Ace lies about it out of spite to Xander, or just doesn't remember and assumes its Xander. I'd say the remaining Heathers, Ace, Levi and Xander get super drunk in the woods or something (idk why Xander would be invited or show up but why not) and Ace said some dumb shit and got beaten up.

This gives both Teruko (for beating their asses before) AND Xander a violent rep, and Xander hates that, so he's pretty pissed. I'd say Xander would challenge them to a real fight, Teruko would bring the fake (very, very real) gun, and hilarity ensues (Ace and Levi get shot.)

Since Xander thought this was a harmless prank, he's pretty traumatized ofc

Then ofc, Teruko and Xander forge a suicide note. It would probably be like "oh yeah we were gay or whatever but levi beat me up so i killed him then myself."

ofc Xander is haunted by the ghosties he murdered <3

uhhh I haven't drawn the saddest parts of the au yet so get ready for a part 2 😈😈😈 which will also prob include better refs.

this was so long omg I'm sorry. this is gonna take tons of tags djssfklafhdls

[real-total-drama-takes]

https://www.tumblr.com/real-total-drama-takes/757956150757064704/okay-i-think-rather-than-replying-individually-to?source=share

“yes I would ship them if the genders were reversed.”

Hey! This is actually insane!

Being trans has nothing to do with the topic (coming from someone who is not cis) because the point is how Cody, a male victim, is being treated along with how this fandom treats Sierra a lot less harshly because she is a relatable girl to a majority of the audience including yourself outside of her obsession, you stating "I'd say the same even if the roles were reversed” is an appalling stance to have when you look at everything Sierra did to Cody.

“TLDR; so long as a pairing isn't actively harming anyone you shouldn't really be shitting on people for liking what they like”

That is a statement I wholeheartedly agree with! But your pairing IS harmful and normalizes a toxic relationship. A victim pointed that out to you and that it's wrong to try to pass off your ship as Romantic or cute when in reality it’s alarming, just because it's not pedo or incestuous, doesn't mean it's not gross or immoral to ship much less portray as something that can be a good relationship.

Sierra’s love for Cody isn’t just her being a bit too pushy on her advances, it’s obsessive, and that by itself should be grounds for their entire relationship being marked as toxic and problematic. She has taken photos of him naked, she’s assaulted him, emotionally manipulated/pressured him into an apology in one episode, and doesn’t listen to his “no’s” when it comes to boundaries without either forcing herself through or pressuring him to a yes. 

It doesn't matter if you rewrite or make your own version of the ship, the canon basis itself is toxic, any attempt to normalize or romanticize what Sierra has done through “them talking it out/ Sierra gets help so they’re okay now” downplay’s what Cody has experienced as a victim and harms how people also see the ship and real victims experience through “forgive and forget”.

You can still write Sierra to be a character who improves or recovers from her behavior, im not saying she HAS to be this awful person. But letting her stay with the person who she made into a victim completely undermines all the change that you say she can go through/has gone through because that just means that she still got what she wanted with enough force. 

“I've still been shipping coderra for a long ass time and it's kinda hard to let pairings go when you've spent years creating a version of them in your head that's special to you,”

I get it's hard to let go of a ship you liked when you were younger and are attached to and I get you didn't recognize the problematic elements when you were younger. But you are a grown 21 yr old, who now in this day and time recognizes the issues and STILL chooses to cling and defend this ship against online people, some of who are minors including myself, and again, a VICTIM recognizing this ship is toxic and harmful, and ultimately come off as someone who is dismissive of the harm that this ship carries. - 🍉

[picnokinesis]

could you tell me (without major plot spoilers -- details about characters and character dynamics are fine) what you loved most about 13's era? <3 I've started my first major who rewatch since I fell off the bandwagon (somewhere along season 11), and I'd love to know what I can look forward to!!

Oh my days hello!! Welcome to my blog! :D Be careful scrolling around because there are a LOT of spoilers (one character in particular is a walking spoiler rip) but oh man hMMM this is such a good question okay because I'll be 100% honest with you, I wasn't actually the biggest fan of s11? Like, don't get me wrong, there are certain episodes that I absolutely love (The Woman Who Fell to Earth is a prime example) and I know there are a lot of people who love it a lot, but on the whole I was pretty 'meh' about that season. It's a great set up, though, for what comes next - because you know how in s11 the Doctor is very much, on the surface, all happy go lucky and everything about the universe is wonderful? Well, that's one hell of a façade, and I really love s12 and 13 because we gradually get to see that mask start to crack under pressure, and it's SO good to see how the Doctor just...steadily losing her ability to keep it up. And she's so SO terrible with vulnerability - I said it in an ask yesterday, but I'm certain that a LOT of that comes from Grace dying so fast after she met her, newly regenerated, as well as losing Bill at the end of s10, and it means that she keeps everyone else at arm's length and won't let anyone see her vulnerable, because she has to keep everyone safe and she can't let anyone else die she can't lose anyone she can't do that again. And in s12 and 13, you get to see some of the consequences of her not actually being upfront about everything with her companions.

On a similar note, I really REALLY love the key thematic threads in the last two series! There's a lot about memory, identity, trauma and grief in s12 particularly, but also in s13 too, and I absolutely LOVE stories that delve into those. For me, it's been such a treat to have storylines that really dig into these ideas and explore them. There's also a general anti-imperialist theme, especially in s12 and 13, which I really enjoyed. There is some pretty divisive additions to Gallifreyan/Doctor Who lore in s12 and 13, but I personally really REALLY love it - I think it really adds to the story and expands the sandbox, so to speak, whilst also doing this INCREDIBLE job of 1) adding new layers of angst to old episodes of Doctor Who reaching waaaaaay back into Classic, whilst preserving the episodes as they were before so you can read them either way, as well as 2) taking odd bits of canon that didn't make sense and weaving them into a coherent storyline. It's genuinely really cool, to me at least. So I would say go into that with an open mind.

There's also some WONDERFUL characters in s12 and 13 - I won't say who or what or where, but there's a lot of fun stuff. I don't know how you found my blog, so you might not know that I write a lot of fanfic, and I've had a whale of time exploring some of the side/recurring characters in s12 and 13, and they're such a joy to write :) But of course the MAIN characters are so SO fantastic - I absolutely ADORE thirteen, she's awful and a massive hypocrite but also just doing her best and trying to keep herself together (and failing), and she's so great to write. I've written over half a million words (literally) about her now, so I think that should tell you how much inspiration Thirteen and this entire era has given me. And the companions are just fabulous. ALSO!! There's a LOT of telepathy and other tropes in this era that I've reaaaaally really loved.

Also - and this is just a little thing, but whilst I love Moffat's era, he did have a tendency to overuse the TARDIS cloister bell - which, I mean, that's fine because I love it HAHA but in Chibnall's era, I think we only hear it......once? I think? I may be wrong, but I remember the one main time we hear it is pretty far into his era and I was like YOOOOOOOOO because we hadn't heard it in so long, right? And so to suddenly hear it again.......it was like 'oh frick, this is REALLY BAD then', and it just gave me chills, yknow? So I liked that a lot!

There are probably a bunch of other things too, but I reckon that gives you a sense of it. I think one thing to really remember with Chibnall's era is that the more you dig into the stories and engage with them, the more you discover and the more it rewards you. A lot of storylines that can seem really simple or sparse on the surface can end up being SO rich once you sit with them for a few minutes. I think I've particularly discovered this as I've written fanfic, but also just thinking about stuff and how it all connects - within itself as an era, but also back into previous eras too! It's such a celebration of the entire show - especially the last episode - and it's very VERY obviously been made by a team of people who had an absolute blast making it, and were all very supportive of each other. I've also really appreciated that there's been a genuine strive towards diversity, both in front of and behind the camera, and whilst there have definitely been some pretty blatant missteps, from what I've seen and heard (for example, during Gally One panels) these efforts were done with good intentions behind them, and all the time actively striving towards something better? And I personally think that a flawed end result is much better than one that plays it safe with no diversity at all. It's a step in the right direction, at least - and, post Doctor Who, Chibnall pretty much immediately went to set up a project that trained up new producers because he said that 'too many showrunners are people like me' - so I think that suggests (to me, at least) that his money is where his mouth is.

ANYWAY that ended up being long....hope this helps, though!! And I really hope that you enjoy watching this era as much as I did!! :D I've loved Doctor Who since 2005, but s12 and s13 just catapulted me into being absolutely obsessed with it again, and it's been so wonderful to get so much joy out of something that I've loved since I was a kid

VERY QUICKLY THOUGH - list of some of my favourite Thirteen episodes, in no particular order:

War of the Sontarans

Spyfall (parts 1 and 2)

Village of the Angels

The Woman Who Fell to Earth

Survivors of the Flux

Ascension of the Cybermen

Fugitive of the Judoon

Eve of the Daleks

The Power of the Doctor

[cornus27florida]

General Thoughts on Ship Wars (discord)

Before, I wanna to tell that : I am a very passionate shipper but I don't wish for any hurt to anyone especially to the ones that shipping characters that not my taste or my NOTP. I will simply avoiding those NOTP ships in any way of fanworks, because if I am stumbled upon those NOTP fanworks - I am afraid that I might unleash beast inside me that could hurt even by words - or for myself getting hurt to see character that I feel a nice, romantic couple to be with other character else. I've learned that fanworks world (fanfic: ff, ao3, etc)(fanart: twitter, devianart,etc)(shipping analysis: tumblr, reddit) should be a safe world for anyone to be happy - shipping characters of the series they'll like while letting others in part of the fandom to know the reasons to liking a ship. In short, I am respecting anyone to ships any characters to other BUT please don't push that ship especially by bashing other character by learning how the characters doing and how the relationships progress in the story.

Well, in the fanworks you could do anything you want like making character c looking bad especially highlighting the things they're did in certain aspect of the story, which to make character a and character b (or more if this a polyamory relationship) to be together. But honestly, could that cliché be avoided? For creative thinking that filled with honesty - kindness - and the forgiveness, so even the character c won't be together with either of character a or b - everyone involved are happy. Being happy doesn't always means for union of characters. being listened-understood-respected it's also part of happy spectrum too even if by making that happen means to letting go someone they love. That's not only limits to characters let go the one they'll love (because the love status is uncertain as it's platonically? becomes familiar love? etc) BUT also when the characters they're love are gone - be it for moving on to another part or phase of life, or for going to the afterlife. Because love could turns ugly like obsession if the 'letting go' part not been used healhtly. Cue to inserting this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9H1-33qQ554

So, people in discord said a really good paragraph exclaim :

It's (refers to the ship wars) definitely not limited to coai (conan/ai), it happened in almost every fandom. But I think it basically boil down to a perfect storm of popular characters with a semi-canon ship status. Shinran (shinichi/ran) fans doesn't need to argue their ship into canon bcs they're already canon. Slash pairing (e.g. kaito/shinichi, heiji/shinichi) also doesn't tend to argue their ship bcs they know it won't happen. Meanwhile coai is very much a possibility (even if it is one-sided) so the fans gets loud in their support in hopes that Gosho (or other party related like Mai kuraki the singer for most of Detective Conan songs) will change the status-quo if coai (a pairing that have lots of ship teases - or the characters are so interesting together with their personalization) becomes more "popular".

I hate it when readers try to force their ideas on the author/creator - let them do their ideas and experiment and see if it works or not (which should be on fanworks world). Although in Gosho's case, I don't think there is reason to fear that but many webtoon creators are young and new to this all and inexperienced so they may bow to the immense pressure of the fans. -> there's many examples in the webtoons already as many unsatisfied readers have the webtoon ending with the ship that 'majority' didn't want like My Deepest Secret, Nice To Meet You!, Edith et cetera

Those webtoons also the example of the ones that didn't have any author note episode at the ending, in fear possibly if explaining why the character a not means to be with c, or technically there's no pairing become canon

Gosho is experienced indeed, BUT in the manga world making - editor is holding the key as basically try to make popular series going as long as possible ~ and if doing so fuelling ship wars by adding teases scenes especially towards triangle love, so be it. It sucks for both the author and readers actually, but it happens anyway. For the creator or author to can't write what they're actually want. For the reader of the intended pairing shipper as they are seeing the characters they're ships getting 'flirty' with other character that likely their NOTP. Or for the reader of the unintended ship as they're been fed by false hopes that their ships are means to be 'as canon'. I am also talking about constant ship wars at Oshi no Ko with Kana vs Akane btw, I love Kana more so I am mad if she's getting mocked espc by the Akane/Aqua shipper - but I also know that Akane - Aqua relationship is special in their own way even thou not that healthly.

I stopped reading Marionetta because the ship war too (the Sahed fans attacked the Tonny fans really hard) -> this the result of ship wars, this make fans to decides to stop enjoying the series for entirety which is very sad.. It's technically not the author's fault but as the fandom becomes toxic. Of how toxic and poisonous a fandom could be it's another nother to talk about and I won't talk it here.

The (ship, be it intended as well unintended) teasings happen in a lot of things: media, series, books, manga…to fuel the readers to become interested longer (thought only for the ship). It is a common thing nowadays and I don't like it at all.

-> A good story should telling what their own story properly, and shippings should be the spices not the main ingredients. So, a story should be a story based not ships based.

I disliking the ship wars as the pain, hurt, tiringness which could resulting to the fandom become toxic in intense war as pointing out why 'their ship is superior, and other ship is doomed'. This totally unhealthly, both for other part of the fandom espc your NOTP shippers AND YOURSELF as being constantly on edge to proving your ship. Why not taking steps back, letting out a long breath - and enjoys the ship that you like without hurting others happily? You, as the reader (or if the medium of series isn't visual, then watcher or anything else), is always part of the fandom that making up popularity of a certain series. If you are gone as getting tired or getting swept up by the toxicity of ship wars, didn't it hurt to the creator of your favorite series - or your friends at the fandom that you used to be like before ~ as realizing too late that you're gone?

P.S if curious:

As a shipper on multifandom, here characters that I ship on different series - which are heterosexual pairings, and well personally no hate towards LGBTQ+ just if them making NOTP I am simply disliking and avoiding the following pairings. No amount of others' arguments telling me about 'reasons your ship sucks' will ever change my opinions regarding my OTP, and I hope it's understable without seen as too hard headed - I won't bashing any characters that become part of my NOTP. I always respect anyone opinion, but I also hope that respect is a dual-interaction too so it'll become "I respect you, and please respect me too".

OTP stands for 'one true pairing' while NOTP stands for 'not one true pairing' which usually if the character a and character b that making up a pair (or more if polyamory) is paired up with other character else. So I am only limiting a pairing on each work series, but doesn't mean I didn't have more characters that I like to ship. The list of my OTP are the following with consist on various media indeed :

Jodie Starling (Saintemillion) and Shuuichi Akai | Okiya Subaru [Detective Conan | Case Closed]

Princess Gwendolyn of the Pastel Kingdom, and Prince Frederick of the Plaid Kingdom [Cursed Princess Club - webtoon]

Kaneki Ken | Haise Sasaki and Touka Kirishima [Tokyo Ghoul]

Severus Snape and Lily nee Evans [Harry Potter series]

Jellal Fernandez | Siegrain Hart and Erza Scarlet [Fairy Tail]

Nagisa Shiota and Kayano Kaede [Assasination Classroom]

Gojo Wakana and Marin Kitagawa [My Dress Up Darling!!!]

Kana Arima and Aqua(marine) Hoshino [Oshi no Ko]

Remi and Blyke [UnOrdinary - webtoon]

Adashino Benio and Rokuro Enmadou [Twin Star Exorcist]

Kinomoto Sakura (or Princess Sakura) and Syaoran (Li) [Cardcaptor Sakura : Clear Card Arc + Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle]

Suchan Jang and Huijin Park [Jungle Juice - Webtoon]

Chrome and Ruri [Dr. Stone]

Mai and Prince Zuko [Avatar the Last Airbender]

Sena Kobayakawa and Suzuna Taki [Eyeshield 21]

Naruto Uzumaki and Hinata Hyuuga [NARUTO]

Saguru Hakuba and Akako Koizumi [Magic Kaito]

[ultfreakme]

Lol at your Zutara anon. I keep seeing people say they’re going to remove Kataang when all they’ve done is take away the parts of Kataang that didn’t age well and highlighted the parts of Kataang that people typically do like. Rather than having a crush on her at the very beginning, he develops a small crush on her at the end after he’s gotten to know her as a person. And as much as I love Cave of Two Lovers, does Katara and Aang not deserve their first kiss to be something they both have agency in, rather than being forced to kiss under pressure (even if they wanted to)?

The way I interpret Albert Kim’s words, even though he might not personally be a fan of the ship, he does seem to make a commitment to developing it in a way that suites live action. It would’ve been so easy for them to give in and make Zutara canon. But all of the creative liberties that they took for Katara’s and Aang’s characters (like removing her motherly traits or making him more responsible from the get go) is to help translate Kataang into live action.

Agreed. I think the time frame in live action is much shorter as well, instead of what felt like a month or more in the OG. So Aang won't immediately be able to even think of romance when he's greiving and feeling the pressure of being Avatar. Same for Katara who's a lot less responsible here, I think, like she's more reckless and playful but also less angry and she's allowed to be a kid.

And yeah, first Kataang kiss(almost kiss? I thought the light went out and cave crystals came on a second before they could kiss so they didn't) being consensual would be better.

Albert Kim seems so far, to try his best to keep things as canon as possible. Introducing Zutara would cause the worst kind of backlash because Kataang fans are gonna be the majority especially with casual viewers. Kataang also carries a lot of thematic significance to the show.

In the live action, he's her way to effectively fighting the Fire Nation, her first access to waterbending which is a lot more personal to Katara's emotions in here. He showed her the world! (I have a feeling in this version, Katara is the first to develop a little bit of a crush or just general interest in that romantic direction). For Aang, she's the first person to reach out to him, comfort him, reach out when he's feeling desperately alone, his new family.

anyways yeah i wish people would learn to separate canon from fanon. I think with how long-lasting the kataang v zutara war has been, people seem to think zutara is an actual option when it isn't....and never was. It might sound harsh but that can be said for Zukka, MaiLee, TyZula Katoph, Zukki, etc too 🤷.

[daddywright]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

tagged by @samioli ! (late getting to it, happy holidays!)

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

44... so far :)) (not-so-secret: i actually have a second pseud for one-shots in very small, random fandoms, but i don't use it often.)

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

ah hah. 682,262. i didn't really publish much before the pandemic, but then suddenly all i ever wanted to do was write, and i found such a community online in different fandoms that i haven't really stopped since!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I've published (written is a different story, haha) fic for a few fandoms: namely ace attorney, different sherlock holmes properties, witcher, dragon age, good omens (before the show), and most recently, metal gear!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

a badge of honor [ace attorney]

plumeria (new beginnings) [enola holmes]

pressure (pushing down on me) [ace attorney]

your heart is cold (but we will warm you) [the hobbit - the first Real Fic i ever published, when i was a kid]

if i woke up (next to you) [ace attorney]

flattering but not surprising that ace attorney is near the top, as far as kudoses go; i joined this fandom in 2020 and it's just EXPLODED since then. it's so cool getting into an older game series and being able to connect with a thriving online community <3

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I absolutely do! I miss one here and there, on occasion, but i try to say thanks as often as i can. i often return to the comment sections of my more popular fics on rough days when i'm convinced i'm the worst writer in existence kasd;jfalskfjf

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

hm... while i tend to avoid endings that leave readers in pieces, i do enjoy some angst now and then. i wrote a one-shot about john watson reacting to holmes's death in OG sherlock holmes titled 'when good men go to war' that definitely deserved the 'major character death' tag, even if it's one of the most famous fake-out deaths in literature LMAO. i've also written canon compliant lanamia, which just hurts. and a miles edgeworth christmas fic, which is self-explanatory. i also wrote a fic for the animated film Klaus a while back that made me cry writing it, which i don't often do HAHA

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

hmm. 'if i woke up (next to you)' is the epitome of cheesy fix-it for narumitsu, but i think the end of 'pressure (pushing down on me)' was written at a time, for me, when i most desperately wanted to read about a happy ending-- the whole series is a fix-it, but pressure in particular dismantled phoenix's disbarment and brought back characters i missed/wanted more of in a way that was utterly self-indulgent, so for me, that's probably the happiest ending i've ever written. :)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No, thankfully. but i've gotten enough of unsolicited crit type comments to piss me off eternally-- though i've gotten better at deleting the ones that hurt rather than engaging. (I stopped writing a witcher fic i really liked because i got a comment that a chapter was boring, and it totally shattered me :///)

9. Do you write smut?

Sure! I have been known to enjoy and write explicit fics. I have an academic interest in sex and education about it, and I think some of the best character study fics in the entire universe are explicit. i also think the saddest fics i've ever read have also included explicit scenes, too.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I have! I love a good, clever crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. (knocks on wood)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, several!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Most recently (published, that is), for pacific rim.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

OOF. well. i have several, of course. i'll always be attached to classic sherlock holmes x john watson. for fandoms i fell into recently, the bangers are narumitsu, taibani (tiger&bunny, aka narumitsu lite), and newly, otasune (metal gear solid) is THE Moment. the MOMENT, damn it, PLAY METAL GEAR SOLID. and then DM me @solid-snaked because i want to TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT.

some more well-known ships i haven't published fic for over the years but still love: leopika (hxh), kakairu (naruto... YEAH. NARUTO.), kaishin (dmck), and superbat (dc). also, i tend to really gravitate towards platonic/gen fic for different fandoms as well, almost if not more strongly than shipfic.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

ooooh. toss up between 'call me through thunder' (dragon age), because honestly while i loved writing it, i liked the original writing ideas that came from it more than the actual fic elements and 'when the way is dark' (witcher), because of reasons listed above.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i would like to say my dialogue?? i suppose? i really like writing dialogue and specifically, the framing around dialogue-- i like writing body language and trying to describe facial expressions and tone shifts so that people can hear and see the scene i'm trying to write.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

ahh, i'm definitely guilty of writing intimate/emotional scenes at the cost of pacing, and of favoring tone accomplished by dialogue rather than immersion via setting (i'm bad at like. window dressing and connective tissue between scenes, i think)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

beyond my skillset, I'm afraid

19. First fandom you wrote for?

supernatural. mmhmm. i was a high school sam girlie. the first fic i ever read, also, was supernatural. destiel at age 13. life-ruiner. but i recovered.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

aaaa. overall, i'd say 'pressure' is a fic i'm quite proud of but it's the series overall that makes it my favorite as a writing and a community experience, one that got me through a really tough time in life. however, as far as my writing skill goes, i'm pretty proud of a fic i wrote on a time crunch for Holmestice, a sherlock holmes exchange, called 'the emerald circle', because i got to reference queer history in a way i really enjoyed while writing it.

feel free to pass along this prompt to yourself, fellow writers <3

[cousticks]

hi bestie, I'm going to need your thoughts about BEAST. it doesn't matter how long. 🙏I find that LN very interesting plus my blorbo Odasaku is there TT

if you're up to the challenge of sharing most, if not all your unhinged thoughts about BEAST, I would greatly appreciate it.

If not, that's okay too. No pressure fr ❤️

This ask makes me stare at my computer screen in horror for the can of worms you've opened, my friend. I'm better now, but there was a point in time a couple years ago I carried my physical copy of the Beast LN with me everywhere in my school bag & called it my Bible. Needless to say its quite important to me. I wasn't sure how to approach this at first, but as I've been going I kind of ended up breaking it down by character. I will also say that I've read the LN and seen the movie, but I haven't read the entire manga yet, so if there's anything manga specific you were hoping I'd mention that I don't I apologize! This is comically long I am so sorry.

I will admit I kind of suck because, though Beast is primarily about the interactions between Atsushi and Akutagawa, I don't have much to say about either of them. But Beast is so so so refreshing to me to see some of the characters that I thought deserved better in canon receiving their time in the light. The interactions between Aku and Oda are everything to me, especially when Akutagawa has to babysit the kids, and through it he has to learn when to be gentle and when to be harsh. Its so so so important because you get to see that he can do both. The same Akutagawa who's first appearance in the main timeline is blowing up a police station without any care for civilian casualties is capable of gently playing with children, WITH his ability. It opens up a depth to his character that, at least at the time of Beast's official English translation coming out (I had it on Preorder lol), we didn't really get to see in the main timeline. It told me that there was so much more to see from him, more that Asagiri wanted to say about him, and not only made me really attached to his Beast version but made me enthusiastic to see what was to come from the main timeline for him.

Its kind of similar with Atsushi in Beast, if the opposite way. I was always a little disappointed with the anime's adaption of Atsushi, as he always felt a bit watered down to be a one-size-fits-all protagonist, when he has more character and snark in the manga that makes him so much more interesting. I don't love it for him because yanno that shit traumatizing, but I do for me enjoy having seen what happens when you put him in the mafia instead. Do you ever think about how he would have been like, 12, when he was recruited into the mafia? That's like 6 years earlier than in canon. This is assuming that Beast Dazai goes and picks him up at the same point in time that he acquires Akutawaga in the main timeline. (Aku was acquired when he was 14). So by the time of Beast's main plot, that gives Atsushi 6 years in the mafia to become the White Reaper, and what a name that is. To be associated with the death he's so afraid of. Ohh, he's interesting. I wish I had more to say about him. Honestly, beast aku and atsu are more my boyfriend @pmreaper's wheelhouse, and I highly recommend taking a look at his thoughts. Between the Orphanage and the Mafia, Beast Atsushi hasn't really seen much honest kindness, aside from Kyoka. And christ, the collar. I'll talk more about the collar later, but that does something to me. He goes from the orphanage causing him pain and problems about being the tiger when he doesn't even know, to a much more restrictive controlling pain when he does know. He's taught that being what he is just leads to being in pain and he has no control over it and it makes me miserable for him. Despite spending so much time fighting on the Mafia's behalf, on Dazai's behalf, this boy has no idea how to fight for himself.

I think that's a major difference between beast Atsu and Aku honestly. Akutagawa will fight for himself. He'll fight his way out of a bad situation. Beast Atsushi won't. That self pity of feeling he deserves it. Christ. Them. Their soft moments interacting together before everything goes to shit in Beast are everything to me. They're just kids from bad situations they understand each other. Their interactions in Beast stab me through the heart.

I don't have much to say about Gin but I want to mention her anyway. Mostly because I think she's the most mentally stable of the mafia members close to Dazai in Beast that we see (Chuuya, Atsu, Kyoka, Gin). She'd have a Keurig on her desk and make the best coffee on the floor. She's such a stark difference from her main timeline counterpart, too. Gin the mafia assassin and Gin the mafia secretary are so different, visually. But... this is a Gin that isn't fighting to survive in the same way. I think so much about how she was taken so that Dazai had some kind of control over Akutagawa without having him in the mafia. I think about how she decided Akutagawa wasn't ready to have her in his life again. About how she was ready to be killed for the Mafia. We barely see any of Gin in the main timeline, but we see so much of her here. Her loyalty to the mafia, her own feelings of betrayal, there's so much to her that we just haven't seen from the main timeline at all. I adore her. I want to see more of her. I like to think that after the events of Beast played out she stole a mafia helicopter and she and Kyoka flew off to Cancun on a girls trip to recover from All That Shit.

I generally ignore the Beast version of Chuuya the way he's presented in canon if I'm honest. And I quite actively ignore whatever the movie ending with the chains is because the fuck is that. Chuuya's presence in Beast canon is something that i acknowledge and then throw away. I have a very specific mental timeline of how Beast progresses in my head as far as where it diverges from the main timeline. In my heart, Atsushi is dragged into the mafia shortly before Dragon's Head Rush, possibly when the conflict is originally starting up in Yokohama, or some time during it. Somewhere in the 88 days before the final face-off against Shibusawa. (I have a lot of opinions on the nitty-gritty details of that timeline both in Beast and Main timeline but that's a not-right-now problem.) This is the event that, in the main timeline, Dazai ascends to executive. I believe that in the Beast timeline, during the DHR conflict is where he stages his coup to become the PM's boss. Which is... kind of a wild thing to do at 16, I guess, but this is a Dazai that has memories of the main timeline as well as of this world, so is he really mentally 16 at that point with the combined life experience? Anyway. Why do I mention this timeline when I'm talking about Chuuya? Because Dazai needed help staging that coup. Chuuya's help. He was well liked in the mafia even then (we can see Chuuya's own reputation was pretty damn good at this point as its not long after Stormbringer). I believe they had a more amicable relationship in the Beast timeline than in main timeline, and that this was calculated to make Chuuya's loyalty lie more with Dazai than the mafia at large so that the coup would work. But after Dazai is boss? Nothing. Cold and all-business once Dazai is in place to start playing with the entire city like his own personal barbie dolls to get everything in place to allow Oda to write his book. Whatever. Which leads to Chuuya's loyalty-hatred complex a bit but I have... a lot of opinions on that entire interaction between them that I don't really know how to articulate. But it fucking sucks.

As far as within the Mafia hierarchy, I think that very few people ever report to Dazai himself. Only Gin, Atsu, Chuuya, and maybe someone really trustworthy like Hirotsu. Chuuya is the boss's right hand in this, he's the second in command, above what a normal executive position would be. Dazai is busy making plans on his insanity corkboard trying to ensure this world stays perfect for Oda. He's busy scheming on what to do to make the mafia more powerful to ensure its reach can accomplish what he needs it to. He's busy doing all the meta-number-crunching to minmax his power so he can treat the world like a plaything. I think he leaves a lot of the normal day-to-day running the mafia to Chuuya, who acts more like the boss in the level of Mori in the main timeline, since the Mafia itself in Beast is like 3x the power it was in canon. Someone has to be keeping an eye on the city itself. I think the executives more of report to him than they would Dazai. It just becomes this really weird hierarchy of designated people leading what they need to so Dazai can focus on what he wants. Obviously none of this is supported in Beast canon at all its just what I believe in my whole heart. I also think that there may have been a point in time they tested something similar to the collar Atsushi is given with Chuuya to see if there was a way to shut down Corruption without Dazai needing to be involved. It failed and Chuuya was hospitalized for a week after and 100% made it Dazai's problem. Which, tangentially, do you ever think about the Beast aftermath? How if something comes up where Beast Chuuya has to use Corruption, there's no longer a way to stop it? Because I sure do.

This brings me down to more thoughts about Beast Dazai himself, who is such a wild character to me. He's everything normal timeline Dazai doesn't want to be. Oda wouldn't want this. Oda wouldn't want a world where so many people are miserable that don't have to be just for his sake. Its depressing, but main timeline Odasaku had chosen his time to die and was quite ready to do so. And main timeline Dazai? He just had to accept that. And grow beyond it. And learn how to create connections with others. But Beast Dazai? He swings the opposite. He doesn't try to recover, he's obsessive, he tears everyone else down into his misery with him to try to create a world that Oda can survive and write his novels in without ever thinking about the fact that Oda would never want that, would never ask for that, but he's on such a pedestal in Dazai's mind that its never considered. Its selfish. He thinks he's doing something for someone else but its so, so very selfish and frankly ridiculous. He chose to never really make any connections with anyone else. Oda of that universe doesn't even know who he is, other than the boss of the mafia that ruins people's lives. There's no connection. Beast Dazai is so untethered and doesn't see anything in that world as anything more than means to an end and I'm so, so obsessed with him. He's tragic. He's trying so hard to do something correctly and doesn't even understand what he's doing wrong because he's so caught up in saving the one person he's so fixated on. He's crafted an empire out of the mafia and couldn't care less about it. He's put himself into the shoes of a god and sacrificed every mortal comfort because of it. I have so much I could say about him but my brain is going to short circuit if I think about him for much longer. I'll probably talk more about him again when I finally reread Beast. I hate him more than I can explain. He's the most interesting man alive. He's no man at all. I'm in hell

Odasaku. Oda. He's still alive. He has even more orphans. Akutagawa is one of his orphans. He thinks he's the most normal guy but he's so, so weird. He trusts Akutagawa with his kids. He'll fight Akutagwa in the middle of the Agency as a training exercise. He probably has the most bland coffee order you can imagine. Anyone know that textpost about the guy that got the black coffee with the blueberry flavoring? The ordinary man with something deeply wrong with him? That's beast Oda. He wants to be a writer, he succeeds, he has a mafia boss obsessed with him and doesn't even know until said dude goes off and dies. I have NO idea what the fuck he was doing in the movie. I generally ignore the movie honestly. He's just some guy. This world was made for him and all he wants is to be ordinary. This world was made for him and he chooses to be mundane. This is a man that knows mortality well. That knows the best parts of life are the small ones. He wants to help people and he succeeds. He sees other people who had a past of violence, like he did growing as an assassin, and he helps them get out of it, he prevents it from happening, he offers care in a way those unused to receiving it can accept. He isn't perfect. He's just a guy. It makes him perfect. I want to kick a wall.

The agency in Beast and how they all rally together is so interesting as well. We don't really get to see them all in action together that often honestly and its a delight. I wish I had more to say about all of them. They're such a cohesive unit of strays and I love them.

I certainly have so much more I could say about Beast but this is already like, the length of an average one-shot fanfiction on AO3 just of my incoherent rambling. If there's anything you want me to talk more on please send another ask because this was a fucking blast to dig up a lot of my old thoughts. I have several unedited one-shot beast fics tucked into storage that maybe one day I'll share because they're all based off of my headcanons and personal beliefs on the timeline.

My boyfriend and I also have an ongoing project called Beastswap where we explore what happens to the characters if they start randomly popping between the two timelines in the post-Beast fallout after everything has settled a little and once I get my writing spark back there will definitely be some of that floating around as well.

[bluegrasssax]

I thought I'd give an intro to me and the fics I've written (Merlin x Arthur, E, AO3). I started late 2021 after I found writing helped me through _stuff_

This is in the order I wrote my stories, my thoughts, what I liked about it and what I wish I'd done better.

For most of the fics I started with a canon character trait for each of Merlin and Arthur that I carried through the story (that they either both come to embrace or overcome), I find this works well in keeping to the og character vibe

(No major spoilers)

1. A Fall We Can't Forget

Character archetypes: lost Merlin, naive Arthur

My likes: I love opportunities to be open about feelings without the pressure of consequences, hence dreams. I loved writing Merlin's Druid dream, and that Arthur could appreciate him without fear that way.

Even better if: This was my first fic and I definitely made some classic blunders! I feel I rushed things, and there were many other dream sequences I wish I'd managed to sneak in!

2. Wingless

Character archetypes: guilty Merlin, protective Arthur

My likes: Wings. I mean, come on! That's just cool! I'm honoured someone took the time to make art following reading the fic, it warmed my heart <3

Even better if: Again, I think I rushed into the reveal. I'd have liked better pacing especially in the last few chapters.

3. Parchments

Character archetypes: denial Merlin, self sacrificing Arthur

My likes: similar to the dreams, an opportunity to talk without repercussion. I liked this version of Gwen a lot, and I'm a huge fan of Samhain midnight shenanigans. Also poor Gaius. Sorry man.

Even better if: this is one of my shorter ones. I think it would have been neat to have an Arthur POV through to explain some of his actions too. Alas. Maybe a sequel.

4. Take Your Pain Away

Character archetypes: self sacrificing Merlin, dutiful Arthur

My likes: oh boy this one was a labour of love. I love soulmates, and I thought the dynamic of one person knowing way before the other way good in this case. The added layer of pain transference was for flavour and it snowballed on me lol, but in a good way I think.

Even better if: honestly, I have the fewest Gripes about this one, though I wish I'd taken a bit of a different route with Edith. There could have been more bullshit with that, but maybe it was angsty enough already.

5. Dead To Me

Character archetypes: powerful/unfortunate Merlin, growing Arthur

My likes: actually my favourite story of the lot I think, just because it's a different flavour of "destiny" than I'd considered before. It was a fun challenge to develop intimacy with no physical contact!

Even better if: I liked what I did with Gaius, but I know it wasn't necessarily a popular characterisation of the poor bloke - so if done again I'd like to have made his motivations clearer.

6. Passing Through

Character archetypes: innocent Merlin, whimsical Arthur

My likes: it was nice to have the "love at first sight" sort of vibe with this one, even though I tend to be more of an enemy to lovers fan myself! Merlin's magic felt so natural in this one and I'm really chuffed with how it came out. He is a part of magic as much as it is a part of him, and so it's no wonder it's overwhelming sometimes.

Even better if: I initially planned a bigger blow up with the Arthur reveal, but it didn't quite fit. Maybe in another life. This one could have handled a bit more smut imo.

7. The Satyr and The Prince

Character archetypes: outsider Merlin, conflicted Arthur

My likes: I'm a big fan of body horror - and while this is no xenomorph situation it was interesting to play with a tiny bit of gore. I'm proud of the inner conflict Arthur had, and I hope it came across well.

Even better if: as with most of my fics it seems, I feel I rushed it a bit. My initial plan was more drawn out, more angst (somehow), but I got impatient! Also, didn't get the chance to include any sex! It just didn't fit in naturally without seeking forced :/

Now?

And my current fic is on going, so I won't comment just yet on it. Only know that archetypes revolve around Wonderlust Merlin and Awed Arthur

If you've read any of these I'd love your honest feed back on it - this is a hobby I really enjoy, and I'd like to keep on it for a bit longer!

Also, let me know how this Tumblr thing works, I'm floundering lads XD

[fountainpenguin]

Hi, no pressure in this question of course I understand life can be busy and interests wane. But is there any chance you’re updating “Frayed Knots” soon? I really love the fic, the romance is so good and the lore so in depth

Yep! That's the 'fic I'm hoping to update in June!

You can read more about my 2024 fanfic update plans in this post if you want a more detailed explanation. It also has a list of different series you can subscribe to if you only want AO3 emails for specific fandoms I post for, but not others.

I'm really glad you like it, especially the romance and worldbuilding :) Thank you, that means a lot to me.

---

One of the things that happened with Frayed Knots was that I cut a scene that I decided was "too long" or "not relevant," even though I really liked it. I killed my darlings, as it were.

/whispers loudly - It was a scene about Anti-Cosmo having a fling with the fairy prince Eastkal and I was like. "I can't actually do this... He already has 4+ people attracted to him at this point in the story; I can't just let another person fall at his feet, even though he DID save this guy's life and Eastkal is obsessed with him."

I personally think it was hilarious because it's mostly Anti-Cosmo tying Eastkal to a bed and robbing him blind while Eastkal slowly realizes what's happening, but I felt it wasn't clicking with the D3 stuff A.C. was dealing with at that time, so I scrapped it. Anti-Cosmo has a disorder and was in a weird point at that time of the 'fic, and I didn't want him to "stop experiencing symptoms" just to have a fling scene.

So canonically, Anti-Cosmo forgot to meet up with Eastkal because he was thinking about how much he wanted to have a fling and in doing so, he failed to have a fling

However, cutting the scene really threw off a specific groove that I've needed - Eastkal being loyal to A.C. so we can hit a specific scene during the war where they face each other and it's dramatic - so I've been trying to loop back around... hence why Eastkal followed Anti-Cosmo all the way to the Anti-Fairy migration zone.

It's been very frustrating and was a good reminder that hey, there's a reason my outline is the way it is, and I shouldn't just cut scenes because a chapter is long. Some of the chapters are very long and they should be that way because it's right for the story. That's honestly why I committed to the 27k-word chapter Knots currently has last- I didn't find a good place to cut it and I really did not want to, so I remembered how frustrated I was when I cut stuff and I chose not to cut.

The next scenes I have to deal with are sensitive in nature, as they involve some important relationship changes for Anti-Cosmo, including:

- Lots of self-realization about what he wants and how it differs from the strict requirements of his culture (i.e. deferring to certain people based on their zodiac year) - Difficult conversations with Anti-Lance - Difficult things happening in school since he's trying to get into the godparenting program - Dealing with the fact that Blonda just confessed she has a crush on him and wants to see him after he comes back from migration - The fact that A.C. still wants to see Blonda even though he's betrothed to someone who's asked him to be monogamous - Large interactions with Wanda (a major character; people are probably looking forward to this scene) - Dealing with the fact that his betrothed just called off his wedding and now he's reeling from it - Facing the fact that he just realized he wants to run off with his betrothed and cross-dress because Anti-Fairy culture is super strict with gender norms and he wants to try a different lifestyle, which is a very interesting thing for him to do considering he's been sexist this entire story - Meeting Cosmo for the first time (again, a scene that should be important and handled with care) - Upcoming drama with Anti-Buster and Ant-Bryndin, including stuff that changed from my original outline, where I was planning to kill off Anti-Buster but no longer can because I've tied his life to a character who's still alive in canon

So it's a lot of stuff I think is important to do right, and I didn't want to rush it.

Also, I've been struggling with self-censorship, especially since I did a lot of worldbuilding and outlining 8 to 9 years ago, and some of my views have changed (plus general writing style improvement- Origin and Knots feel choppier and more awkward for me than they did back then).

I spent a lot of 2023 re-unlearning these hesitations, and trying to rekindle my love for what these 'fics are. They've always been villain backstory 'fics, and they're labeled with reminders that the cultures I portray are fine for insect and bat people - trickster fae especially - and not necessarily good for humans.

It just took me a while to stop feeling overly self-conscious about them and the 130 Prompts as I've gotten older and started to wonder if people think I'm trying to promote these very harmful relationships.

There are some very bad things that happen in these 'fics. Things that are harmful. Do not use villains as positive role models, especially when you're seeing them in their villain arc before they enter their silly arcs. In fact, don't use the fey as good role models at all. They are not human, I have no intention of writing them like they're human, and they do some pretty messed-up things.

And I'm glad I've come around to tap into that again, because I'm sick of living in the mindset I was in for part of 2023 where I just felt very judged and self-conscious about what I was writing. If there's one takeaway you should have from my 'fics, I hope it's a recognition that fiction is not reality and the things I write about aren't necessarily things I endorse. I like dealing with trauma across a million-year lifespan, and some pretty bad stuff happens to a lot of these characters. It's just... how it is.

But I do want to handle some of these scenes carefully, like Anti-Cosmo meeting Cosmo for the first time, because there's stuff I don't want to rush, and I want a buffer prepped so that I no longer have these awkward, surprise gaps between chapters.

tl;dr - Hopefully next month I'll have some things to post. If not in June, I'd like to be posting in July :)