#but did i spend an embarrassing amount of time writing these and have fun doing so? yes yes i did

[milascorner]

HIII just wanted to drop by your inbox. i hope you’re doing well <3 i saw ur reblog about ev and miko and immediately went ??? i was like that’s my pairing why didn’t i get a notification??? then i remembered it was from my old blog 😭 but i would love to hear those hcs 🙂‍↕️

ALSO about the golden rewrite i’m so excited for it hehe it made me swap loren’s and kirsten’s careers because while i can imagine loren studying psychology i can’t imagine her being a therapist LMFAO but being a nurse works for her because i can see her studying to be a future doctor. plus the banters between her and asher would be so fun like i can already hear him telling her “you wanna be a doctor yet you smoke” “yeah so?” or like if loren’s not in a good mood and being snappy asher would be like “how do you even take care of people with that attitude?” shdhajdha

I hope you're doing well too, I miss you so much <3 At this point, you're getting my therapy bill because your ocs take up a whole portion of my brain.

I think about your pairings an unhealthy amount... so in this essay I WILL (I'm joking, I'll try and keep this short lol) disclaimer is that this is just a lot of unorganised word vomit:

Constellations by Jade LeMac gives me Ev and Miko vibes

And not to insert Cypress everywhere, but I hc that Ev wrote ‘Birds of a Feather’ by Billie Eilish about his friendship with Cy

Alsoo, Ev embracing Miko’s dancer background by doing dances with her — this in particular

okayy, but the Ev and Miko fan edits that are made by their fans are immaculate

even when they're in a relationship I imagine that Ev still has his private account that he follows Miko's social media accounts, and every once in a while Miko goes through her followings to find which account it is because Ev won't tell her

alsoo Miko's a dancer so I know she knows good music, and when Evren's particularly stuck on a song I see him calling Miko and saying "babe, will you listen to this hook for a quick second? I think it's missing something"

which brings me to when Ev's worried about making a genre switch with his music, Miko would give him such a good pep talk

this is a ramble, but I know Ev realised that Miko was the one when he didn't feel anxious around her. like, sure there are butterflies, but overall he feels calm and okay and soo content and he's never felt like that

they're always gonna be our Starstruck pairing <3, so whenever Miko's teasing Evren she's playfully like "*gasps* I cannot believe that I, Miko Sanada, get to sit next to the Evren Acevedo. this is everything I've ever wanted." — and Ev would roll his eyes and yet always absolutely adore the fact that Miko knew nothing about him before they got together

I always imagine Ev and Miko being so comfortable yapping with each other, and I see Miko sitting on Ev's lap and she's talking about football, dancing, fashion, whatever—and Ev's just intently listening and running his fingers through her hair

but alsoo not to be nsfw but all of these posts give me ev x miko vibes — x, x, and x, x, x

ooo, but also my ramble about Ev and Miko with Ev's parents, back story: Ev and his parents end up travelling to Colombia at least once a year to see the extended Acevedo family (and Rosalie always gets invited bc we know that she being divorced from Javier is criminal)

^ and Miko gets invited, and I just see Ev's family loving her. and I imagine Ev and his grandma cooking dinner together for everyone, like chopping vegetables and she goes "so you are in love?" and Ev smiles and says "you wouldn't be meeting her if I wasn't" and his grandma would pause before saying "if you come back to Colombia and Miko does not have a ring on her finger, I will kill you Evren"

^ and I just see the dinner going so well, and the Ace family end up making all these non-subtle hints about Ev and Miko's future, about marriage and kids, and comparing their relationship to Rosa and Javier's

I talk about Evren’s family a lot so I must know everything about Miko’s family and what you think their dynamic is like with Ev

I have soo many other hcs but this is already long so I'll leave those for another time asdfhjklk.

—

Omg, with Kirsten, I genuinely think you made me in oc form.

When Asher says that about Loren, I imagine Loren raising a brow and going "you have the audacity to talk me about attitude", and I see it being an argument that crops up any time a cigarette is between her lips.

But yeah, omg, I'm so happy you're excited for the rewrite. That makes me so happy <33

[fatuismooches]

More Dottore and Fragile Reader voice lines, except it's your turn this time. A part two to this. Previous voice lines are here.

About Prime Dottore:

"Zandik. My one and only… words cannot express my tenderness and love toward him. I refuse to forget any moment I've spent with him. Not once has he given up on me, despite the times I’ve given up on myself. And he has always taken care of me, not once faltering in over four hundred years. I- I don’t know what to do sometimes when faced with that information. I wish I could be… less of a burden on him…”

About Omega:

"Omega, huh... he is the only segment where I always spend time with completely alone. See, he's not prone to sharing, just like Prime. I don't mind much, honestly, it's nice to get away from all of the noise and be with him. He always coaxes me to be more selfish too... is it a good or bad thing he's influencing me?"

About Alpha:

"Yes, the grumpy cutie I met all those years ago, the start of it all. He says that my presence is a hindrance and it only disrupts his work, but we both know that's false. Often, I like to sit by him as he writes his notes, pointing out all the errors caused by the atrocity of his handwriting... Sometimes, I feel bad using him as a reminder of the past."

About Beta:

"It always baffles me that Beta was once how Dottore acted. I mean, have you seen the difference between 'Mega and Beta? Anyway... he's always such a fun segment to hang around! Even when his assistants cower behind me in fear! Oh, and whenever he goes 'he-he-ho-ho', it always makes me giggle. Please don't tell him I did that impression of him though."

About Delta:

"Oh, Delta's... pretty mean. A really big meanie, if I do say so myself. He never laughs, never smiles, never entertains my shenanigans, always sees right through me... so rude. Huh? Don't worry about me, I'm allowed to talk about him like this. I still love him, after all."

About Zeta:

"Zeta's always so elusive! It was such a pain to track him down at first, he was always avoiding me. I thought he hated me... but once I got a hold of him, he is always so attentive to me! However, it greatly saddens me that he thinks he "failed" me... and yet he doesn't know how much it hurts me more that I've caused him to be like this."

About Zandy:

"Have you met my son? He's the sweetest little thing, isn't he? I remember how shy he was in the beginning, but he quickly grew to be such a dear. Always so excited and eager for attention. I can't help but wonder if Dottore's life could have been different if more people were kinder to him as a child."

About Pierro:

"I will always be indebted to him and Her Highness for taking me in. He is pretty scary to be around, but I feel sort of bad for him. I can't imagine how much responsibility he has... I once promised him I'd work for the Fatui once I'm better, but he didn't react much. Hmph, I'll show him how much I can boost Dottore's efficiency!"

About Capitano:

"The only thing I really know about him is that he's incredibly strong and well respected, at least from other people. The single time I met him, I also learned he was quite well liked by animals too, but it's hard to get any more information when he's so quiet..."

About Columbina:

"Bina is the best friend I've always wanted. I'm glad she's always there for me whenever things go bad. Although I can never predict what she's going to do or say, which is pretty strange, considering who I'm with, that makes her company all the more fun. Still, the amount of embarrassing situations she's tricked me into with Dottore... makes my head hurt."

About Arlecchino:

"I wish we could be closer, but I don't think it'll ever happen. I can't really blame her though, the relationship between her and Dottore is... not the greatest, for reasons I understand. I wonder what she thinks of me, the person who still stands by his side despite his sins?"

About Pulcinella:

"Oh... the little grandpa? I've always wondered how he's the fifth rank, but there's probably more to it than I know. Regardless, I didn't expect him to be so kind to me. I only see him once in a while, but every time he seems to know how I'm doing. And then, he proceeds to give me the best advice, exactly what I needed to hear at that moment, even when it has to do with Dottore. It's kind of scary..."

About Scaramouche:

"Ah yes... the Balladeer. He always wants to start up something with me whenever we cross paths, which is why my patience runs very thin around him. I hope the next time he goes into the Abyss, he gets stuck there."

About Wanderer:

"Who?"

About Sandrone:

"Her research sounds so cool! I've seen some of the things she can create, and it's completely fascinating. I too once had a love for machines back when I was a student. It's just a shame she never comes out of her lab... there are never any chances for me to talk with her. Well, I can always talk with Alpha and Beta about their research at least."

About La Signora:

"I've barely ever seen or spoken to her, but she has my respect. I heard what happened to her husband. If I ever lost Dottore, I'm not sure if I'd be able to go on... or at least be as half as strong as she is."

About Pantalone:

"Oh, Lone's one of my good friends! He always has such unique ideas for me to get back at Dottore, and listening to him talk about his theories quite reminds me of listening to Dottore. He's helped me a lot, dealing with this man. Still... as he does with everyone, I'm kept at arm's length. It doesn't bother me, but I wish I could help him in some way. But I know that'll never be possible."

About Childe:

"Despite being a Harbinger, he's a lot nicer than you'd think. Well, especially compared to the others in the Fatui. He's great at conversation, his family is the sweetest... and he always promises to spar with me once I'm no longer sick. Truly great company. Too bad Dottore's attitude toward him is... less than favorable."

About Furina:

"At first I hated her just like all the other Gods, but after learning the truth, I can't help but greatly respect her. To take on such a burden without having a single shoulder to lean on and succeed in the end... I think I've been through a lot of pain, but at least I've had Dottore and the others to ease it even just a bit. But she had no one, and I admire her will."

About Nahida:

"I try not to waste my time on things that upset me. It's not good for my health."

Sprint Start:

"No, no, I am not running at all. Look, if I get hurt and Dottore finds out it was your fault, you'll be the ones strapped to the table, not me. Hey... I wouldn't mind being in that position, actually."

Chat - Worry:

"I hope that one day he can make peace with himself."

Chat - Old Times:

"Sometimes I wish I was just a simple student again, having no worries other than my grades and pulling all-nighters with Dottore. Actually, that doesn't really sound relaxing, does it?"

Chat - Idling:

"If you're just going to stand here doing nothing, then I'm going to take a seat over there."

When it Snows:

"Would you be willing to distract Dottie so I can chuck a snowball at him? No? How boring."

When the Sun is Out:

"It's a perfect day to have a picnic and listen to him rant again."

In the Desert:

"... Omega, Beta, Delta, I don't care which one of you does it, get over here and make your hands completely ice cold before I faint."

Something to Share - Talent:

"If you ever need help writing something, you can ask me. I wrote some pretty good essays back in the day, you know. Dottore once said I should even write a book! I thought he was bullying me, but he was actually serious, for some reason. Maybe I should get Zandy to draw some pictures?"

Something to Share - Secret:

"Dottore actually has quite a sweet tooth. Well, this probably isn't much of a secret anymore because I accidentally spilled it to the agents, but it would do you good to keep this in mind."

Interesting Things - Foxttore:

"This little guy here? He'll do you no harm unless I say so, so don't worry. He was one of Dottie's failed experiments roaming the lab until he gifted the creature to me! These pufflings too, surprisingly they help me a lot more than you'd think. They're pretty strong, carrying all my things."

Favorite Pastimes - Meals:

"It's time to eat already? No need to worry about me, I'll just wait for a segment. See, it's best for both of us if I have company while I eat. My hands... aren't the most reliable."

Troubles:

"I am very happy that they have a good place to conduct all the research they want, but I wish they paid some more attention to me sometimes. Voicing this complaint over and over again, however, is too exhausting."

Amusement:

"Dottore's fan club never ceases to amuse me. I know every Harbinger has one but... it's completely hilarious. To go so far as creating a handbook about the two of us... well, I appreciate the dedication and the laughs, especially when I update Dottore on their activities. He may not care, but I support them!"

[seonghwaddict]

say my name — song mingi

request by anon. "This is my first request to anyone ever so forgive me if this is..idk incoherent 😭. But lately I've been thinking about a short smut story where the reader (fem) being a backup dancer for ATEEZ and Mingi catching feelings for her over time and then end up fucking in the dressing room and maybe one of the members walks in idk have fun with it. 🤭"

idol!song mingi x backup dancer!reader. genre. smut. warnings. smut below the cut, explicit sexual content minors dni, fingering, some dirty talk, use of petnames (doll, baby), slight dom/sub dynamics, dom!mingi, swearing, intentional lowercase. please let me know if i missed anything. wc. 1.2k.

lilo's notes. i'm back!! this is the first request i've received, hopefully i did it justice. by the time i finished writing i forgot that anonie asked it it's possible for another member to walk in and join.... sorry about that. but anyways, i hope you all enjoyed this!!

listening to. perceive by doma cyno.

masterlist

“fuck, baby,” a hand swiped through your folds, gathering the almost embarrassing amount of arousal from your core. “you’re so wet.”

you like to think your day started off like every other day. you woke up at 7 am, ate breakfast, got ready for the day and arrived at kq two hours later. you went through some choreographies with the other backup dancers until 4 pm, left to run some errands, and then returned to practice some more on your own.

since your first day at the company only a few months ago, you’d always take a few hours after your shift to perfect your art more than you already have. sometimes you’d spend those hours with the other dancers who showed up for the same reason, but surprisingly, a lot of the time it was mingi who found himself practising his group’s or his own choreography alongside you.

the first few times felt awkward, to say the least.

you yourself weren’t really one to strike up conversations with random people, and considering he was part of the group you had to dance for, you were afraid of slipping up and losing your job. but, eventually, he talked to you. after that, things were easier—you’d joke around, take breaks to go eat something, help each other and sometimes even stop what you were working on to choreograph something together; just the two of you.

it was only a month or two later that you caught yourself looking at him in a less than friendly but rather heated way… and much to your surprise, you slowly started noticing his own lustful glances—lips red from biting them and hooded eyes tracking your every movement. but, alas, you weren’t one for first moves.

considering all of this, you weren’t surprised at the position you were currently in; on the floor of the practice room, legs hooked around his as you sat between them, mingi’s lips against the side of your neck, one arm around your waist and the other with his hand inside your panties (your shorts had been discarded long ago, along with his shirt) as he faced you to lthe mirror, forcing you to watch his every movement.

he swiped his middle finger through your folds, gathering some arousal and then slowly circling your swollen clit. a breathy whimper escaped your lips as you threw your head back on his shoulder. the combined sensation of his finger around your nub and his lips kissing and sucking on the sensitive skin of your neck sent another wave of wetness gushing out of you.

“eyes on the mirror, doll,” he moved his head up to whisper right into your ear with that husky voice of his, gently biting down on your earlobe. he removed his hand from your pussy for a moment, letting your legs down to slip your panties off before hooking them over his thighs again. you were practically dripping as he exposed you. “i want you to see what i’m doing, watch how your beautiful little body reacts to me.”

reluctantly, you nodded and pulled yourself off his shoulder, eyes zeroing in on the arousal smeared between your thighs. a moan escaped your lips as he gave your clit a particularly firm tug, his ring and middle finger pressed against the skin on either side of it and pinching gently. you tried holding back your following moans, but the quiver of your thighs gave you away. though, you felt better knowing you weren’t the only enjoying this so much, his erection strained against his pants and poked at your ass. 

his movements against your heat were slow but precise, eliciting pretty little whimpers and moans from you. the hand wrapped around the front of your waist moved up, featherlight touches leaving a trail of goosebumps behind as he gently brushes his fingers over the fabric of your bra. then he nudge the straps down your shoulder and let the bra cups fall, his hand immediately going to tweak at your nipples. 

“f-fuck…” you cursed quietly, trying your best to stop your eyes from fluttering shirt from all the pleasure and keep your eyes on the mirror as he asked.

two of his large fingers circled your entrance, massaging it before slowly pushing in. jaw slack at the stinging stretch, you watched as they disappeared into your vagina, breath stuttering when he curved them just enough to brush against the right spot. your hand snaked it’s way behind his head, tugging on his hair gently.

“oh, look, doll,” you heard him groan behind you, feeling his smirk against your neck, “look at how well you take my fingers…”

and with that he slowly began pumping his fingers in and out of you, digits firmly pressing against the spongey spot inside you each time, increasing his speed more and more as his thumb continue circling your clit. he watched your face in the mirror, analysing each twitch of your muscles and each flutter of your lashes to perfectly adjust his movements. in any other context, you perhaps would’ve appreciated how perceptive he was. but right now you wanted nothing more than to savour the feeling of his fingers, anticipating how his cock would feel in you. 

before you knew it, the familiar knot of an orgasm began tightening in your abdomen, your body squirming.

“shit, mingi…” his name tumbled out of your mouth in a drawl and his movement stopped for a moment.l before he continued at a more rigorous pace. you could’ve sworn you felt his erection twitch behind you. 

“say that again,” he growled, “say my name.”

the rough scratch of his voice made you impossibly wetter as you obeyed quickly. “mingi, o-oh…”

after that it didn’t take much longer for you to snap, coming down hard on his fingers, muscles jerking and back arching as his hand clamped over your mouth to muffle your noises.

“keep it down, baby, someone might walk in and see you at my mercy.”

he pulled his fingers out of you and caressed your thighs. it didn’t take to long for you to calm down from your high, chest heaving with deep breaths as he whispered praises in your ear. despite the fact you just had an orgasm, you knew you still wanted more.

“i-i need… i need you,” you tried, face flushed as you hinted the best you could.

“hm?” he chuckled. “and what exactly do you need of me?”

with a huff, you grinded yourself back against him, against his cock, but he moved his hands to grip your hips firmly and stop you. 

“that won’t do,” he shook his head. “i want you to use your words, doll. can you do that for me, baby?”

a moment of silence passed between you. it was awkward or anything, a teasing grin on his face as he looked you in the eyes through the mirror, your brows furrowed before you sighed.

“god, mingi, i need your cock in me.”

he grinned, hands tugging your shirt and bra off before sitting back on his knees and turning you around. mingi leaned over you, cupping your chin before kissing you with a bruising hardness. once he broke the kiss, a malicious spark shined in his sharp eyes.

“anything for my doll.”

network. @cromernet

[impishjesters]

First-time jitters (NSFW-ish)

warning(s): kissing, hickeys, suggestive themes, implied lead-up to sex, sexual jokes note(s): Naked twister kind of joke, not anything in a typical Jax insulting joke form. A/N: I actually really liked writing this, it gave me a chance to write just kissing and while I still suck at it, it was something. Plus I can totally see Jax cracking jokes to keep his s/o from being so tense and nervous. Happy that this didn't push me out of my comfort zone, even if it did make me feel weird about writing kisses. I'm not experienced in that department either. request: Hey I was wondering if you could write a very slight NSFW of Jax and the Reader? Maybe this is the reader’s first time and is nervous about it?

“I’ve uh, never done this before…” You mutter nervously, hands playing with the hem of your shirt.

“What sat on a bed with a man?” Jax snorts.

“Ass, you know that’s not—”

“Oh, you’ve never played naked twister? It’s a little slippery I’ll admit.”

“Jax…”

“See you’re already doing a great job, ya already got saying my name down. Though I’d like to hear it a bit louder and more desperately, maybe a tad more breathy.”

You cross your arms in irritation and embarrassment, this was not how you were going to spend your first time if he kept being a little shit lord and keep cracking jokes. You loved him and tolerated enough of this outside of the bedroom, it wasn’t exactly something you were expecting during such an intimate moment.

As if sensing your thoughts Jax took a seat on the bed and leaned closer, placing a hand on each side of you on the bed. “Oh c’mon angel, I’m trying to ease the tension. Ya more wound up than a music box, if ya this tense it’ll hurt. And we don’t want that.”

Jax wasn’t stupid, he could tell you weren’t ready when the topic was officially brought up and told you he was fine waiting. Blue ballin’ sucked but he’d endure it until you were ready—which was tonight, if you were still up for it.

He caught you chewing on your bottom lip and raised a hand to tap at your lips to get you to quit. “Ya know I won’t do anything to hurt you, especially if ya aren’t into it.” You giggle faintly and he slips his fingers over to pinch your cheek. “There we go, loosen up and I’ll help loosen you up so it won’t hurt. Trust me.”

“That’s pretty bold of you to ask me to trust you of all people.” You tease. However, there is reassurance in the tender touch and his tone that has you relaxing more and more into his touch.

Jax rolls his eyes playfully, giving your cheek another pinch before moving the hand back to the bed. “And ya pretty dumb to trust me of all people.” he pokes back.

It’s all in good fun, it’s not typically how he’d treat someone in bed but you aren’t just any random shmuck in his bed. Plus it’s your first time and he’d rather not make it an unpleasant experience, he would like to get laid more than once after all.

Before you can respond he gives you a quick kiss, shifting to get more comfortable on the bed with you but not making any attempts to undress either of you. “We’ll go slow, ain’t gotta get naked right from the start—though I won’t complain if you wanna strip.” His brows waggle suggestively but his tone is far from it.

“Can we just kiss for now?” Kissing isn’t new and it feels like a nice start to everything, you don’t want to back out now but you aren’t going to just force your way straight into sex.

“Sure doll.”

Jax is surprisingly careful with his kisses, each kiss is sweet yet firm until you find yourself getting impatient at the little pecks and run your tongue along his bottom lip. Working around his teeth takes a few minutes but in no time the kisses grow more heated and full of tongue.

The distance between the two of you gradually closes, Jax sits with his legs loosely crossed creating the perfect little spot in the middle for you. He drapes your thighs over his and tugs you closer to create just the right amount of space between the two of you, mainly so he doesn’t have to keep breaking his back to lean in.

Your hands find purchase around his neck while his hands find home on your lower back. It’s no different than the usual make-out session except this will actually lead to more than just the two of you separating and having to wind down or take care of things separately.

Jax is the first to break away, leaving you panting. You’re such a flustered, red mess and he’s soaking up every little noise and expression on your face. Diving back in he dodges your lips much to your confusion and instead aims for your neck. You tilt your head to give him better access and he peppers the area with kisses and the occasional nibble.

He pulls back after a bit, satisfied to see your neck littered with his marks, and gently guides your head to tilt the other way, giving the same attention to the unmarked side. There’s no way someone won’t say something later, the marks are too obvious and most definitely won’t be covered by your clothes—you’ll have to think of an excuse later.

Eventually, he has to pull away and admire his handiwork again, that smug expression on his face per usual, except the reason is different this time, more genuine. “What a pretty necklace ya got there doll, who bought it for ya?”

Necklace? You weren’t wearing any—oh the hickeys. “Jaaax..” That’s so painfully cheesy that you can’t help but whine and giggle.

“Your damn right I did. Looks so good on ya too.”

He runs his fingers over the fresh marks and you can’t help but shudder at the sensitivity. You don’t remember them normally being that sensitive, but you also don’t remember him ever leaving that many in one sitting. Something tells you those won’t be the only hickeys you’ll end up with.

Your eyes fall on his own neck, bare as ever, and find yourself feeling a little mischievous. “How about we give you a matching one?”

Jax’s arms tighten around you, pulling you closer as if to help give you a better position before his hands knead into your hips. “Oh sugar, I’d be more than happy to be sportin’ a matching necklace with you.”

[vrystalius]

hello!!!! i hope you’ve been enjoying my boops 😔✋ also, i wanted to ask if you could do a akaza halloween post where you’re celebrating it with him 😚 thank youuu

Celebrating Halloween with Akaza

He felt like a doll, being dressed up and dragged along for the sake of your candy hunting. You’re lucky he loves you.

Pairing: Akaza x gn!reader

His whole face scrunched together in an attempt to not sneeze right at your face while you were padding setting power all over his face. After you finished, Akaza let out a couple of coughs and wanted to scratch his cheek, but you slapped his hand away. You just beautifully covered the blue stripes on your boyfriend’s face and added lots of cute blush, some stars and hearts, making him look all pretty. You even bought some pink mascara for his lashes, but the nasty look he gave you after presenting it to him was enough to not use it on him. Perhaps next year.

Akaza didn’t plan on joining you on your hunt for candy, instead keeping an eye on you from the safety of the rooftops, following you from up there and watching you have fun, but after begging and begging for hours, he finally gave into being dressed up. He refused to even touch any of the princess dresses you offered to him but tolerated wearing his signature pink haori and some pink baggy pants you gave him. After crowning him with a cheap, plastic tiara and changing into your own costume, you dragged your boyfriend by his arm to go out and get candy. Akaza was silently brooding the whole time, trailing behind you while also keeping a small distance. He was acting like he doesn’t want to be associated with you while also following behind you like a puppy.

He glared at every child and adult that stared at him for too long, balling his fists together and using you as a human shield to hide himself to be further stared at. You concluded that your trip to gather candy should be cut short, or else Akaza might get agitated or overstimulated by being around all these humans, his costume might adding to his embarrassment further.

You sat him down in your bathroom and wiped all the make-up away, him groaning loudly after finally being able to touch his own face normally again. He patted his cheeks lightly, feeling around for different textures. Glancing in the mirror, Akaza checked the mirror for the his stripes and checked if they’re all still there (where should they even go? You’re not sure how he got the idea of loosing his stripes by putting make-up on top of them).

“I don’t like Halloween. It’s stupid. Humans use the holiday as an excuse to send children out for candy.”

Halloween used to be celebrated to scare evil spirits away— now that you’re thinking about it, dressing him up and going outside to collect candy did manage to agitate Akaza to the point of wanting to leave and never return. He was not impressed by the amount of candy you managed to gather. His humiliation is not worth one sad pile of it. As some sort of compensation, your boyfriend rested his head on your thigh while you sat on your bed and sorted your treasures, relaxing against you and watching your hands hold sweets and inspecting them one by one.

Akaza stayed the whole night and held you in his arms, until you finally fell asleep after calming down from your sugar-rush. Although he dislikes Halloween and hates being dressed up even more, your boyfriend liked spending time with you, however you may want to spend it. Even if it is to practice your make-up skills on his face.

💠

I enjoyed your boops very much, I evil and super booped at you almost everytime you did I think! Also, I sadly won’t be able to write the request you send in a month ago (about Nicole from class 09) since I am not familiar with the character or the media, and after reading through her wiki, I found out that she is quite the complex character :,) I am so sorry! I hoped you enjoyed this though. This is the last Halloween post I’ll make, I promise! XD This just was too nice to pass up on!

Anyways, make sure to EAT, SLEEP and DRINK enough <3

Take care of yourselves!

[bloodyinkandquill]

Boombox x Reader

ok setting a goal for myself right now, i am not touching this till i’ve done homework and showered. if i fail im going to throw much phone across the room i am a chronic procrastinator

good news my phone did not get thrown across a room so now i can enjoy writing self ship hcs yippee!!

- ‘What do you wanna listen to?’ If you had a nickel every time you heard that from your boyfriend, you’d be rich, it’s not like it’s unexpected, he’s a indie musician with a machine made to play music for his gear, so of course he has music playing basically 24/7, he knows what you like but he still asks just to see if there’s anything specific you wanna listen to at that moment

- Boombox is a super chill boyfriend, sure he enjoys partying and more energetic things but when not doing those he just likes to hang around almost like a cat, you two will just spend hours sitting on a couch together listening to music and working on stuff, maybe chatting every once in a while but honestly just hanging out is his go to

- That is not to say that’s all you do though, he definitely takes you to parties and raves, teaches you the proper culture and gives you water and earplugs, he’s super sweet about it since you’re doing the things he loves

- His favorite thing to do with you however is karaoke, even if you can’t sing he listens to you try with a dopey grin on his face as he falls even more in love with you, maybe you two have a few drinks and just loosen up before singing the wildest things, you have a video on your phone you don’t remember taking of him belting out ‘barbie girl’ you use it as a joking way of gaining leverage since he finds it embarrassing, it’s all fun and games though

- Boombox gives you some sort of music related pet names, I’m not versed in musical junk so I can’t give any examples but they’re definitely music themed! He prefers calling you the pet names as opposed to your name, he obviously still calls you it but he usually just uses the pet names, he has no preference as to what you call him but using his full name feels a bit too formal to him sometimes so he prefers a nickname at the very least like BB or just Boom

- Not the most touchy ever but he’s definitely not touch adverse, I imagine he prefers cuddling to holding hands or small touches, they just don’t feel as loving to him, so he prefers bigger things even if they’re not as common

- For dates it’s party’s, concerts, festivals, raves, if you two want something more energetic, however if you want something calmer and more intimate he enjoys coffee dates, probably Thieves Rest, where it’s just you two, warm drinks, and a sweet treat, it’s nice to just chill and chat, or sit on the edge of bridge together looking at the view of a sunset as you share a pair of earbuds and listen to a playlist he made for you guys specifically

- He never does anything super expensive or lavish, he isn’t broke but he doesn’t have a crap ton of bux, being an indie musician and occasionally participating in phights mean he has a fair amount of money but he prefers to save it up than spend it all willy nilly, but it doesn’t matter, what things he does buy you or do for you are all really thoughtful and personalized so you have no complaints

- You guys like taking naps together, in a bed, on a couch, hell you’ve slept on a rug in the living room before, you guys just curl around each other and drift off to sleep for a cat nap, he sleeps a lot and it infected you, so napping basically daily is now a common occurrence, he’s soft and snuggly though so you aren’t really complaining

- So much of you and Boombox’s relationship is built around music, you listen to it so much, you talk about it a lot, you help him create it sometimes, you go to listen to it live on occasion, you guys would probably die without it, not actually but you bond over music so much that it’s very important to the both of you, especially if he makes any songs for/about you, those always make you swoon

this was fun, tried to be as character accurate as possible, i mean i do for every single request but i wanted to make sure to not miss characterize him since he’s both chill and energetic so had to remember to include both of those things, anyways hope you enjoyed time to work on my other request!

[slayfics]

Why him?

Muichiro x Reader short series

Mitsuri invites Muichiro to eat with you so you can get to know him better.

Part 2

"I know!" Mitsuri exclaimed enthusiastically. "I'll invite Tokito to eat with us! That way you can get to know him better and spend time with him! I'm the best big sister ever!" Mitsuri sang in her own praise.

"N-n-no no no! I really d-don't want to do that. I w-w-would rather just keep my distance." You pleaded.

"Oh don't worry I'll be there too so there's no reason to be nervous ok?" Mitsuri said bringing out a paper and pen. "I'll write to him now about meeting us for breakfast before we all head out our separate ways!" Mitsuri swiftly wrote a letter then handed it to her crow. You desperately tried to get the letter out of her hand but you were no match for your older sister's strength.

"Get some sleep and don't worry. It's just food ok? We will have fun tomorrow morning!" Mitsuri said, putting her hand on your back to comfort you.

The next morning you dreadfully came out to the common room where you saw Mitsuri and Tokito sitting. You debated on turning around and running back to your room but just then Mitsuri had caught sight of you.

"Goooooood morrrningggg little sister!" She said with the biggest grin you had seen her have since the last time Iguro came over.

"Good m-morning..." You said grumpily sitting down.

Muichiro did not say a word but ate silently.

"Soooooooo how is everyone feeling today?" Mitsuri said, trying to make conversation.

"Fine..." You said.

"Healthy." Muichiro said looking as uninterested as ever. "Did you want to eat together for a reason?" He asked.

"Oh, I just thought it would be fun since we are both Hashira and here at the same time you know? Plus you know my sister is here too."

"Ok." Mucihro said, and turned back to his food. You shot Mitsuri a glance that was supposed to convey how bad of an idea this was and how awful it was going.

"Sooooooo you ran into my sister the other day?" Mitsuri said attempting a conversation again.

"No, she ran into me. You should train her better." He said.

"M-m-mitsuri! I told you this was a m-mistake! H-he is a-aw-awful!" You shouted letting your embarrassment about yesterday's events get the better of you. Muichiro looked between the two sisters in curiosity then went back to his food, deciding he wasn't interested.

"I've finished my meal and have some business to attend to. Goodbye." He said getting up to leave.

"WAIT!" Mitsuri yelled. "OH! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I ASKED YOU HERE BECAUSE MY LITTLE SISTER HAS A CRUSH ON YOU!"

You felt all the blood drain from your face. How could she say that to him?? You didn't know what to do. You felt such an overwhelming amount of emotions. Embarrassment, anger, sadness. It was all too much for you to take and you felt like you might explode. You ran out of the room and hurried back to your designated room, closing the door just in time before tears began to fall.

Why was Muichiro so mean? Why him? Why did you have a crush on such a dreadful person? How could Mitsuri out your feelings like that? You put your face in your hands and continued to weep. When you heard a faint knock on your door.

"G-g-go away Mitsuri. I can't b-be-believe you." You spoke with venom in your voice.

"I'm not Mitsuri and I'm coming in." You heard Muichrio respond and your door opened. Why would he come here? To insult you further perhaps. It's not like he ever had anything nice to say.

"You're crying" He said as he sat down next to you.

"Great o-observation." You replied.

"Are you crying because of what Miss Kanroji said?"

"J-j-just forget what she said, it's not true. I think you're a-awful, cruel, and m-mean." You spat.

"I am?" He asked and seemed to daze off.

"Yes! You insult e-everyone even when they are trying to h-help you and you don't seem to care for a-anything."

Muichiro came back from his daze and looked down at his hands... "Hmm... I think I used to know someone just like that..."

"You must have looked in a m-mi-irror recently." You retorted. Muichiro took no notice of your harsh words.

"Hmm... It's too bad you actually despise me... I was quite flattered to hear you had a crush on me."

You froze... he was flattered?? You couldn't wrap your mind around what he was saying. He was so indifferent to everything could he actually be flattered you had a crush on him?

"I n-never said I despise you..." You softened.

"I am too busy as a Hashira to date or even explore those types of human interactions, but you can write me letters if you wish. I will respond as promptly as I can." He said watching you intently now.

Joining the demon slayer corps so young Muichiro never had interactions with someone that liked him, and he never had chances to explore those types of feelings of his own either. As indifferent as he was on the outside, something sparked a deep memory in him of feeling warm, feelings that must have been from a long time ago. He wondered if this meant something.

"O-ok... I'll write you letters Tokito." You said taken aback by his sudden change in demeanor.

Just then Mitsuri burst into the room.

"OH! I'm so dumb I let a boy in my sister's room alone! Tokito you have to get out right now!" She said red in the face.

"W-W-WHAT DID YOU THINK W-WE WERE DOING??" You said mortified. Muichiro stood up and went to exit the room.

"I'll be looking forward to your letter." He said then vanished.

I’m accustomed to writing the reader as Muichiro’s Tsuguko so this was a bit of a challenge for me. However, I hope you all enjoyed this little series! I did my best~

[cashandprizes]

The Boring CBT Final for the Fun CBT King - By Lexi Moon aka CashAndPrizes

Okay! People asked and I fought tumblr to deliver!

Hi, I'm CashAndPrizes also known as Lexi Moon, and I am a doctoral student studying clinical psychology. I wrote about Redacted (specifically Lasko) for my final for Cognitive Behavioral Therapies. Here's the paper.

Shout out to my beloved friends in the WhoreHome and W.A.R. for keeping me going through this paper. I love you dearly.

Words of warning:

I am a clinician in training. I am still being supervised. I have not been graded on this final yet. (I'll update when I get it!) And I am definitely not an expert. Take everything here with a grain of salt.

I am not a licensed therapist but even if I was I am not your therapist. I'm play acting as Lasko's therapist for a class. Take everything here with a grain of salt. If you read any of this and think "It's a bit loud in here" do not assume this is absolutely you. If you have the means, please try finding your own mental health professionals and if you don't, please do a lot of research on these subjects. Don't use this as a diagnosis please, I'm just a guy.

I filled in a lot of Lasko's backstory based on my experiences with patients and my beloved Lasko kinnies who were instrumental to the writing of this paper. (I won't tag you and call you out, but you know who you are an I love you.) Your headcanons might be different - that's cool. I'm not claiming canon over most of this - but I did use the transcripts and timeline very heavily.

If you don't like the idea of pansexual, transgender, Indo-Caribbean/Trinidadian child of immigrants Lasko - pookie this might not be for you. If that sounds like your jam though - come on in, the water's fine.

Without further ado. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Mambo Number Five. Here's Lasky. I can, in fact, fix him.

Case Summary

This case conceptualization addresses the hypothetical course of treatment for Lasko Moore, a character in a modern-fantasy audio narrative. Lasko Moore presented to treatment as a 30-year-old pansexual and transgender Indo-Caribbean man working as an administrator and adjunct professor at Dahlia Academy for Magical Novices for persistent anxiety symptoms. Upon intake, Lasko reported experiencing near constant racing thoughts that he was unable to “turn off”, panic attacks, and increased anxiety about social interactions at his work. He described spending a significant amount of mental energy preparing for and reviewing social interactions with colleagues such that he often avoids his colleagues in an effort to minimize his anxiety. Lasko reported that the anticipation around coworker interactions (meetings, socials, etc.) becomes quickly overwhelming as he becomes preoccupied with what he will say and do in an effort to try and minimize his tendency to become hyperverbal and overshare information as well as stuttering. He described this process as starting with embarrassment over previous interactions which leads to critical thoughts like “I shouldn’t be so anxious” which leads to rehearsal of potential outcomes of interactions. However, in the moment of social interactions he becomes so anxious as there “aren’t any objectives [or] any specific roles” to the conversations that he “word vomits” and becomes tangential and overshares until he runs out of breath and stops himself from talking due to his own critical thoughts and begins to isolate himself. 

Lasko was initially diagnosed with Panic Disorder (F41.0) and Generalized Anxiety Disorder (F41.1) to capture his persistent anxious state with occasional intense bouts of extreme anxiety and panic. An initial long-term goal was collaboratively set as improving his coping strategies and tolerance of anxious affect to better network and create relationships. As this was Lasko’s first time utilizing mental health services, treatment began with inhibitory learning in combination with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy in order to facilitate willingness to experience interoceptive cues and extinguish avoidance due to fear of negative consequences. This was able to reduce his panic attacks as he felt more able to tolerate overwhelming anxious affect. Despite his clear engagement with treatment through attendance, homework, and skills practice, Lasko continued to struggle with critical thoughts and avoidance of coworkers which he identified as a major barrier to his continued professional development and potential non-academic relationships. Through collaborative exploration, a persistent early maladaptive schema relating to his critical thoughts emerged and treatment shifted to a goal of starting dialogue between schema modes to facilitate the use of coping strategies to build interpersonal effectiveness. Lasko was born as the human-born child of Trinidadian immigrants who moved the southern California in the early 1990s due to political unrest. From an early age Lasko faced high academic expectations from his parents who desired upward mobility for their child and a “piece of the American Dream.” His mother was emotionally labile to the point of explosive outbursts where his father was more passive and spent significant energy working and caring for his wife. This experience started Lasko’s early maladaptive schema regarding rigid standards with no support, which only became worse when Lasko’s elemental powers began developing at thirteen and his parents expected perfect control (and perfect suppression) of his powers with no training and a highly critical environment. This led to Lasko isolating himself at home as much as possible to hide his lack of control but left him with an environment that created a positive feedback loop where his lack of control led to increased yelling and criticism which led to worsening outbursts of his powers. This culminated in a final traumatic event when Lasko was seventeen and lost control of his powers, leading to his mother “calling [him] everything she could think of […] she was so loud and I just wanted her to stop” to the point that Lasko accidentally sucked all of the air out of the room and almost suffocated his mother. Though Lasko was able to find support with the Department of Uniform Magical Practices and become emancipated from his parents, these experiences developed a maladaptive pattern of hypercritical thinking about himself, especially in the context of social relationships.

Research

Avelino Cardoso et al. (2023) pose potential ways to modify and apply Schema Therapy to sexual and gender minorities. This work focuses on understanding how of harmful implicit and explicit messages about gender and sexuality contribute to early maladaptive schemas based on consideration of the minority stress model, and how Schema Therapy interventions can be applied to sexual and gender minorities. One area of particular relevance from this article is the conceptualization of an inner critic mode that specifically represents stereotypes and prejudice that are naturalized by society. When applying these principles to the case of Lasko, the environment of his childhood can be understood as an essential aspect of the treatment. Though Lasko did not present to treatment looking to discuss the impact of his pansexuality and transgender identity, potentially because of the clinician’s own advertised identities, the impacts of systemic oppression against sexual and gender minorities can be woven into treatment for his hypercritical early maladaptive schema. Based on the suggestions of Avelino Cardoso et al. (2023), it may be worth examining his secondary schemas around shame and social isolation as also being shaped by his experience as a gender and sexual minority and how that may contribute to his predominant hypercritical schema. 

A major concern for this section of the paper is the lack of research modifying second and third wave cognitive behavioral therapies for sexual and gender minorities. Results for Acceptance and Commitment Therapy with LGBTQ+ individuals only revealed one article about group therapy and a study proposal; results for Schema Therapy with LGBTQ+ individuals only provided Avelino Cardoso et al.’s (2023) theoretical essay. There does not appear to be much research and what research exists is extremely limited with no randomized control trials. This makes it clear that evaluating the efficacy of treatment for sexual and gender minorities is not a priority, which leads to a major critique of Avelino Cardoso et al.’s work. Though the article is useful for considering how to address systemic change in the room, it seems to attribute lived experiences of sexual and gender minorities to a schema rather than ongoing threats in a world where hate crimes and discrimination against LGBTQ+ individuals is on the rise. The abandonment and violence that these individuals may face is not imagined and it can be seen in the lack of interest in research.

ADDRESSING Model

When considering the case of Lasko, it is important to remember that psychology does not develop in the vacuum of individual experiences – psychology develops based on the global environment, which includes the social, political, economic, and cultural contexts as well as individual context. Utilizing Hays (2022) ADDRESSING Model, the impact of Lasko’s intersecting identities can be understood to have a major impact on his current symptom presentation and the development of early maladaptive schemas and schema modes. Lasko was born to first generation immigrants from Trinidad with strong Indo-Caribbean and Catholic roots – and he was assigned female sex at birth. Using a systems-focused lens, Lasko’s current symptoms can also be understood within the larger context of living in a world where several aspects of his identity are under intense scrutiny and political debate. As a child of immigrants and as someone Indo-Caribbean, Lasko likely faced explicit and implicit messages about his intellectual capabilities, his body, and his work ethic. While Lasko directly experienced his mother as extremely critical and never satisfied with his performance, it is just as likely that he received messages as a child about needing to work harder than many of his same aged peers for equal amounts of recognition based on his racial, ethnic, and sex assigned at birth. There is also the element of the disconnect between his sex assigned at birth and his gender presentation, and the messages he received about being transgender from his Catholic, Trinidadian immigrant parents as well as the American culture – which were likely discouraging at best and hostile at worst. 

Keeping all of this in mind, Lasko’s hypercritical, social isolated, and emotional deprived schemas can be understood as also being a direct result of the intersection of his identities – and this does not even cover the added layer of being an empowered human-born. In a variety of ways, Lasko has had very different experiences than his peers by virtue of being a transgender, pansexual, child of unempowered human immigrants. When Lasko describes feeling different from the people around him growing up and when he entered the empowered world, this is a real experience based on the multiple identity intersections – it is not hard to believe that he did not have many friends or family members between the late 1990s and late 2000s that had similar experiences to him. This left him with the acute sense that he was fundamentally different and needed to work much harder than those around him, and also that to get validation he needed to sacrifice his needs (or identities) for those of others.

Methodology

The initial treatment approach for Lasko was a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and inhibitory learning with interoceptive and in vivo exposure, which was successful in decreasing his panic symptoms but not generalized anxiety symptoms. Lasko reported that he experienced sudden panic attacks that seemed random and included symptoms such as accelerated heart rate, tightness in his chest, hyperventilation, feeling that he would lose control, sweaty palms, and loss of control over his magic. At the time of treatment, he reported that he had been having at least one panic attack every other month since he was a teenager and that they would occur more frequently when he was in periods of intense stress. After exploration, Lasko was able to determine that he often had panic attacks related when he spends time ruminating in anticipation of social interactions. Lasko explained that during panic attacks he tends to seek quiet, dark places to hide and “ride out” the panic attack and that he has thoughts like “I’m going to mess this up” or “I can’t do this.” 

Treatment started with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and inhibitory learning as an evidence-based approach for treating panic attacks and generalized anxiety to address his symptoms and reduce further panic attacks as well as his anxious thought patterns (Barlow, 2021; Ruiz et al, 2020). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a therapeutic practice that focuses on improving psychological flexibility and understanding the function of behavioral patterns (Gordon & Borushok, 2017). Much of early treatment with Lasko consisted of psychoeducation around the therapeutic process, behavioral therapy, and mindfulness. He took easily to ACT and benefited from understanding how avoiding social interactions was negatively reinforced by decreasing his anxiety while keeping him from creating connection. Inhibitory learning through multiple types of exposure (in-vivo and interoceptive) was able to make him more comfortable with feeling panicked, effectively reducing his panic attacks (Ramnero & Törneke, 2008). However, his baseline anxious affect and negative thoughts did not ease despite the use of ACT, so treatment shifted towards understanding the function of his persistent negative thoughts through Schema Therapy.

Lasko’s symptom presentation after several sessions of ACT and inhibitory learning was a persistent anxious affect and worry (especially around social situations) that felt uncontrollable and critical ruminative thoughts. As it seemed treatment had plateaued, the content of sessions moved towards a deeper understanding of his critical thoughts based on an indication of deeply held early maladaptive schemas. Barlow defines early maladaptive schemas as persistent behavioral, cognitive, and relational themes developed in early childhood that are reinforced throughout lifetime and that cause significant disruption and dysfunction (2021). Schemas are often viewed as truths about the self and others and are difficult to challenge because of the deep affective component and lifetime of reinforcement (Barlow, 2021). Movement towards schema work started with psychoeducation which involved discussing how schemas are reinforced through modeling (in this case by his mother’s critical comments about his performance) and how people can often act in ways that reconfirm schemas into adulthood. Lasko then completed the Young Schema Questionnaire - Revised and received high scores on schemas related to emotional deprivation, social isolation, and unrelenting standards (Rijkeboer, 2015). During the debriefing and explanation of the results, Lasko reported that when he was completing the questionnaire he felt “really seen” in a way that was uncomfortable but also validating to his experiences in childhood and as a queer person of color living in America.

The topic of sessions then moved towards further psychoeducation about the process of schema work, including delving into his schemas and determining schema modes with the goal of improving his understanding of schemas and working towards healthier integration of modes and coping strategies (Barlow, 2021). Lasko was committed to treatment but apprehensive about “what would come up,” speaking to his concerns about dredging up uncomfortable memories and feelings. In response, he was encouraged to revisit his understanding of ACT and his core values as a reminder of why he wanted to continue treatment and work through feelings of discomfort and grief. The next session started proper schema work, starting with Lasko explaining his understanding of schemas and how they were currently impacting him. He aptly summarized that his childhood experience of feeling intense pressure to do well academically and conform to socially and religiously defined gender roles left him feeling isolated from his peers and that he always needed to work harder and do more, while also feeling as though he had no support or anyone who truly understood him – this led to the development of schemas related to emotional unrelenting standards, social isolation, and emotional deprivation. 

The first step of schema work was to identify schema modes as recommended by Barlow (2021). Lasko completed the Young Schema Mode Inventory (YSMI) as homework (along with his regular thought and feeling records) and scored highly in the following modes: vulnerable child, compliant surrenderer, detached self-soother, punitive parent, and demanding parent (Lobbestael, 2015). With this in mind, the next session started with reviewing his thought and emotion records as a baseline for identifying schema modes. Lasko was able to sort different thoughts and feelings into categories that broadly resembled the categories for child modes, coping modes, and parent modes, but he struggled to come up with names for them. He eventually decided on “Young Lasko” to describe his vulnerable child mode, “The Doormat” to describe his compliant surrenderer mode, and “The Critic” to describe his punitive and demanding parent modes with suggestions from the therapist based on his results on the YSMI. Lasko was overwhelmed with sadness and fear during this session, describing how hard it was to name and admit these schemas out loud and how scared and vulnerable he felt. He reported a heavy weight on his chest and how badly he wanted to hide from the therapist and his own internal experience, and his wavering control over his powers was evident by the rustling of papers in the room. The second half of the session was dedicated to using ACT and mindfulness techniques to sit with the almost intolerable affect without judgement. The session closed with a discussion of how he could focus on his value of self-care after the session and he decided that he had plans to meet with his friend group the next day and try to talk with them about his feelings as a form of self-care and confirming his acceptance in his friend group. 

The following session he reported that his conversation with his friend group had gone “really well, better than [he] expected” and the session started by discussing how this did not conform to his expectations as a way to integrate the initial phase of inhibitory learning into the present. The conversation then moved to re-introducing the names for his schema modes and utilizing a combination of mindfulness skills and reaffirmation of his core values to give a voice to those modes and their needs by recommendation of Barlow (2021). Lasko explored that “Little Lasko” felt “awful, awful all the time” and was a sad little boy trapped in a girl’s body who “[held] onto all the bad stuff” including feelings of being completely isolated from others and deep sadness. Lasko further explored that “The Doormat” was a representation of how he had worked so hard in school and at home to make everyone else happy and that by avoiding his own needs and wants (for self-expression, acceptance, nurturance, joy, etc.) he thought he would get his needs met. At this point in treatment, discussing “The Critic” was still too affectively laden so discussion started with the first two with the goal of working up to “The Critic.” Based on guidelines from Barlow (2021), the next few sessions focused on identifying the ways these schemas had developed within his childhood and how they had once been adaptive and essential for his survival. Lasko’s homework between these sessions was to read handouts given by the therapist about schema modes and the ways they are internalized throughout childhood. Lasko was also willing to try journaling once a week from the perspective of either “Little Lasko” or “The Doormat” to better understand how integral they had been to his survival. 

Session Description

This transcript describes the first part of the schema work, where Lasko began to identify and label schemas with prompting from the therapist. Rather than just using the terms from the YSMI, Lasko was encouraged to create his own meaning to better represent his own understanding of the schema modes based on evidence-based methods from Barlow (2021). The goal of this session was to help Lasko observe the schema modes based on his thought and feeling record from the previous week and start thinking of the modes as parts of him that were observable separate from himself.

Therapist: You’ve summed up schemas and how they work, and I don’t even have anything else to add. Lasko: I really, um, want to make sure you know I’m serious about this. I want to get better, I want to be better. Therapist: It feels like it’s really important for you to feel like I know how hard you’re working right now. Lasko: Yeah, well… Yeah, I don’t want you to think I’m not doing the work. Therapist: It’s interesting because you’re the one paying for sessions, you know? While I’m glad that we are working together towards your goals, what you get out of this is really up to you. Can we talk more about how you want to make sure I know you’re working hard? I think that’s really tied to this whole schema thing I’m trying to sell you on. Lasko: I’m already sold on it!  Therapist: [Hm] Lasko: … That’s… that’s what you mean, isn’t it? Therapist: [Affirmative hm] Lasko: Fuck – sorry – shit! I um… I feel like I need to prove to you that I’m listening and trying really hard. Therapist: What will happen if I think you aren’t trying? Lasko: Well, you won’t take me seriously – at all. You’ll think I’m wasting your time and that I should – I need to be doing more and taking it seriously. Therapist: And how would I be feeling with you? Lasko: Angry, because I’m wasting your time – but I’m not, or I don’t want to. I don’t want to waste your time, you have so many other patients you could be seeing and if I’m not doing what I should be doing then I’m just- I’m taking up space someone else could be using and they probably need it more than me. I mean, I’m fine you know, I’m anxious but I can survive, right? There’re people out there who need your time more than me and I’m wasting it – or I would be. I’m not – I don’t think I’m wasting your time right now except I keep rambling. Therapist: There’s a through-line in there that I want to pull. You feel like you need to do what I expect you to do, right? Lasko: Yeah, I mean you’re the therapist. You’re the expert with – all the experience and degrees. So yeah, I should be doing what you expect. Therapist: It sounds like there’s some part of you that feels like you need to be doing what I say you should do, even if you don’t want to or have something else to say – like your “rambling” – and that if you don’t, you’re wasting my time. Does that feel right?

Lasko: I want to do this, I do. But um, yeah. That feels right. Therapist: And you do what I say you should do because if you don’t…? Lasko: Well I’m wasting your time. And then you’ll – I mean you probably won’t, you’re a really nice person and you’re so helpful but I just… I have this thought that you’ll get mad at me. Therapist: I would be mad at you. What would I do if I was mad at you? Lasko: You would um… Well I know you wouldn’t, because you just – you’re not like that but like my mom would start screaming at me. She would just… she would just yell and tell me that I was wasting their money because I wasn’t doing well enough at the school they paid for me to go to you know? Or I messed up the nice clothes they paid for. Or I just – anything like that really, I was wasting money and time and I was a waste of space and… Fuck – sorry – wait, um. This is hard to talk about and I don’t want to cry. Therapist: This is really hard, I’m really putting you through it already today, aren’t I? Lasko: [Affirmative hm] Therapist: I want to take what you just said and kind of summarize, kind of explain, is that okay? So, it sounds like you have these thoughts that you aren’t trying hard enough – or at least that I don’t think you’re trying hard enough, right? And these thoughts serve to make sure that you show me how hard you’re working so that I believe you, because if I don’t, I might think you’re wasting my time and become angry and yell at you.  Lasko: That’s a really succinct way to put it, but yeah. Therapist: So what I think is happening here, is that there’s a part of you that is so terrified that I will become angry and yell at you and make you feel just awful about yourself. And to deal with that, there’s another part of you that works really hard to try and anticipate and meet my needs so I won’t become angry with you. And then there’s also this third part of you, this part that is so critical and reminds you of how scary I could become if I got angry with you and kind of beats me to the punch by being mean first. And all three of these parts were working together in those last few minutes. Lasko: Wow… yeah, that um… you hit the nail right on the head. That feels right. It’s not – um, it’s not really great for me, though. Therapist: What I’d like to do is start by giving a voice to these parts of you, just letting them speak. Do you think we could do that? Lasko: That… That sounds really awful. But, yeah we can… we can do that. Therapist: And here I am, asking you to do these terrible things you don’t want to do and you’re doing them with me anyway.  Lasko: That’s the um.. that part of me that tries to meet your needs, right? That’s what you said? Therapist: I think so. I really want to hear more from that part of you.

At this point in the transcript, the therapist was using a combination of techniques to try and get closer to the schemas that were indicated in Lasko’s dialogue. There was a mix of rephrasing/restating what Lasko had said with the dual purpose of making sure the therapist understood and phrasing things in a way that would lead to more dialogue about schemas. The therapist in this section also started outlining the core schema modes operating at the moment in broad terms to gauge Lasko’s ability to tolerate and explore them further with the intention of eventually moving towards labeling schema modes. In this section, it is becoming clear that Lasko’s persistent anxiety about the therapy (proving he is engaged enough) is a result of active schema modes that attempt to anticipate and meet the therapist’s needs to prevent criticism and anger on the part of the therapist. This insight from the conversation can be broadened to potentially explain the utility of Lasko’s critical thoughts and anxiety around social interactions – he spends so much time preparing and planning for these interactions to try and anticipate and meet the needs of others to prevent criticism and anger from his peers, the mere idea of which causes deep feelings of fear and sadness, by criticizing himself first.

Therapist: I think so. I really want to hear more from that part of you. Lasko: I mean – geez, what should I say? Therapist: Maybe we could start with what that feels like…? Lasko: It feels like I’m always guessing, trying to figure it out. I feel like I have to do everything right, try harder, do more…I feel like I always need to be doing more, doing it better. Therapist: What emotions does this part of you have? Lasko: Um, I don’t – I don’t know.  Therapist: Do you think I should bring out your old friend the feelings wheel? Lasko: Yeah that might – might help. You know how much I love the wheel. Yeah – um, I guess I feel… inadequate? Maybe… Therapist: Can I suggest something that I’m sensing in you? Lasko: Please, you’re way better at this than me. Therapist: I’m wondering if this part of you feels desperate. Lasko: Yes, desperate. Therapist: Desperate… it feels like there’s more to that. Desperate for what, do you think? Lasko: Desperate… desperate to please – desperate to get it right. Therapist: Wow… desperate to please feels really powerful. I see you rubbing your chest right now, what are you feeling? Lasko: It’s like… my chest feels tight – a little like when I have panic attacks. Therapist: That connection feels really important. What do you make of that? Lasko: I feel – I’ve felt desperate when I’ve had panic attacks before. Like desperate for air, which is just – it’s funny as an air elemental you know, well not funny-funny, but it’s just – anyway, it’s like desperate for air but it’s also like I’m desperate for… I don’t know how to phrase it…? For it to stop, yeah, but also like I… I want to do things right when I talk to people but I always fuck it up – sorry – wait, don’t apologize Lasko. Sorry, I – sorry – fuck. I just- I want to have better interactions with people! I want things to go better and to communicate better so people like me and – I don’t know. Therapist: So people like you… do you think that’s what this part of you wants? Lasko: Yes – so badly… So badly it hurts. Therapist: It hurts in your chest, right there? Lasko: Yeah… it’s tight and heavy and then I start crying because I’m just – I’m a mess. Therapist: You’re feeling so much right now, and you’re doing it because I said we should. Lasko: Well… yeah, it’s um – it sucks but you know better than me. Therapist: That seems to be a thought you have a lot, we’ve talked about it before on your thought and emotion records – and I think it’s really tied to this part of you. Lasko: I mean… maybe, yeah. Therapist: What do you think you could name this part? How do you think we could refer to it? Lasko: Like a name? What kind of name…? Therapist: It’s really up to you, I think it’ll be more helpful to use whatever you think is the best way to describe it rather than my clinical-ese jargon.  Lasko: I don’t… I don’t really know. I’m not good at this kind of thing. Can’t you – you can just name it, right? Therapist: I could, but I feel like if I name it we’re staying in this pattern where you just acquiesce to my demands. Lasko: Which is like – the whole point of this, yeah. Therapist: Exactly. What feels hard about thinking of a name? Lasko: I don’t – I don’t want to pick some stupid name that I have to use, and you’ll think “wow that was a really stupid name choice, I should have picked it.” Therapist: [Hm] Lasko: Yeah, you don’t have to say anything, I hear it. Also, I just… naming it feels so real, you know? Then it’s a real thing. Therapist: And there’s something about it being “a real thing” then? Lasko: Then I’d… I’d have to talk about – acknowledging all of it – that feels really awful. I feel like I can’t breathe right now. Therapist: I can feel the air becoming thin too. Why don’t we take a few moments and just notice how you’re feeling and breathe through it?

This section of the transcript starts to explore and move towards labeling the schema mode of the Compliant Surrenderer. This mode attempts to anticipate and meet the needs of his hypercritical Punitive and Demanding Parent mode to protect his Vulnerable Child mode, which becomes clear in the transcript as he verbalizes that this part of himself is desperate to do well (whatever that may look like) so that others will like him. Just sitting with this part of himself causes Lasko almost intolerable feelings of desperation and panic, likely due to his fear of his Punitive and Demanding Parent mode as well as a fear of criticism and rejection from the therapist.

Closing Thoughts

I really enjoyed this case and this paper. While I didn't choose a current patient, I feel that I got a lot out of this assignment. It was really interesting to think formally about a character and work through a treatment plan and focus on a specific element of treatment. I managed to pick a case where I got to implement schema therapy, which is one of the forms of CBT that I find most interesting in addition to ACT. Despite this being a fictional character, I have certainly had previous patients who have similar struggles – and I also felt that I was able to use the media (and my previous experience to fill in gaps) to make the most of this assignment for my learning.

As I was working on this case, it occurred to me that though I felt like I was able to portray this character as accurately as possible I felt like so much was missing or unaccounted for. Because I was working from a CBT rather than psychodynamic lens, I felt like there were clear points where I would have ideally worked more relationally to address resistance or spoken more about the therapeutic relationship. There are always a million different things you could pick out of a patient’s response to respond to, and it was challenging to focus more on the schemas rather than talk about the relationship. I also felt like because of the limits of this paper, I did not have enough space to talk in the methodology or transcript session about how I felt his identities played a part in the development of his schemas. In this example, it was very clear to me that Lasko’s experiences of his parents were only part of the equation as development does not exist in a vacuum – there is a reality that his identity as a pansexual, transgender, Indo-Caribbean, second-generation immigrant and his experiences of xenophobia, racism, heterosexism, and transphobia would have also impacted his feelings of isolation/difference from others and internalized pressure to present and perform well. I also think that this would have been something I discussed in subsequent sessions as I believe this is another function of his schemas – to protect and prepare himself from his experiences of a hostile, sometimes violent world.

References

Avelino Cardoso, B. L., Paim, K., Figueiredo Catelan, R., & Liebross, E. H. (2023). Minority stress and the inner critic/oppressive sociocultural schema mode among sexual and gender minorities. Current Psychology, 42(23), 19991–19999. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-022-03086-y 

Barlow, D. H. (2021). Clinical handbook of psychological disorders: a step-by-step treatment manual. Sixth edition. New York, The Guilford Press.

Hays, P. A. (2022). Addressing Cultural Complexities in Counseling and Clinical Practice: An Intersectional Approach. Fourth edition. Washington DC: American Psychological Association.

Lobbestael, J. (2015). Validation of the Schema Mode Inventory. In M. van Vreeswijk, J. Broersen, & M. Nadort (Eds.), The Wiley‐Blackwell Handbook of Schema Therapy: Theory, Research, and Practice (pp. 541–552). Wiley-Blackwell. 

Ramnero, J., & Törneke, N. (2008). ABCs of human behavior: Behavioral principles for the practicing clinician. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger & Reno, NV: Context Press.

Rijkeboer, Marleen (2015). Validation of the Young Schema Questionnaire. In M. van Vreeswijk, J. Broersen, & M. Nadort (Eds.), The Wiley‐Blackwell Handbook of Schema Therapy: Theory, Research, and Practice (pp. 531-540). Wiley-Blackwell. 

Ruiz, F. J., Luciano, C., Flórez, C. L., Suárez-Falcón, J. C., & Cardona-Betancourt, V. (2020). A multiple-baseline evaluation of acceptance and commitment therapy focused on repetitive negative thinking for comorbid generalized anxiety disorder and depression. Frontiers in Psychology, 11. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.00356 

Home. (n.d.). Redacted Audio. Retrieved May 5, 2024, from https://redacted-audio.com/

Appendix

Character and Media Primer

Redacted Audio is an urban-fantasy audio narrative on YouTube that centers around the fictional city of Dahlia in southern California and its inhabitants (“Home”, n.d.). In this urban-fantasy world, people are separated into four categories: unempowered humans; empowered humans, which can be further broken down into elementals and energetics (people with control over the four elements, gravity, sound waves, magnetics, psychokinesis, telepathy, seers, or a jack of all trades) and shifters (e.g.: werewolves); vampires, who are turned unempowered or empowered humans that feed on blood to survive, have superhuman speed and senses, and cannot go out in the sun; and demons, beings of pure magic that are not necessarily evil or good. The character I have chosen is an empowered human who was born to unempowered human parents – a human-born – which is a rare kind of person who often faces discrimination and barriers to learning how to control their magic. Lasko is an administrator and adjunct faculty member at the Dahlia Academy of Magical Novices, which is essentially magical community college where students (of any age) can learn mastery over either their specialty or all aspects of empowered human magic. The Dahlia Academy of Magical Novices operates as a school under the larger Department of Uniform Magical Practices, which oversees magical practices, ethics, and maintains the covert status of magic. Lasko specifically has natural control over the element of air, giving him an increased lung capacity and control over air (making wind currents, taking air out of the room, making tornados, etc. – think air benders in Avatar: The Last Airbender if you are familiar), but chose to complete his full certification at The Dahlia Academy of Magical Novices to have a better understanding of all types of magic. He teaches an introductory class on magic for incoming students as a way to provide a less discriminatory experience for other human born students.

ACT Hexaflex

YSQ-R Table

YSMI Table

That's all, folks!

[wito-chan-bla-bla]

The first time

Your best friends are offering you a deal that you... can't refuse?

~

I can't write smut, so… yes… But I just wanted to write something like that, ah!..

~

Best friends!Gojo and Geto, who suggest that you lose your virginity with them because "it's better with us than with an incomprehensible stranger in an alley."

Best friends!Gojo and Geto, who pretend to be so confident and experienced that you start to believe they've already had sex. You agree, because they promise you a huge amount of pleasure and tenderness. "We promise, we will be affectionate and kind to you! Just let us give you ~l~o~v~e~."

Best friends!Gojo and Geto, who have loved you for many years and even got into a fight over it once. They heard that you liked some guy, and they almost went crazy. You shared your first kiss with them, why not share your first time with them?

Best friends!Gojo and Geto, who bring condoms and lube to your bedroom with them. (Just in case. They are going to give you so much fun that no additional measures will be needed). You look at the size on the package with doubt. "Do you know that 'L' means 'large'?" They both just stick their tongues out and wink at you, which you can only swallow at.

Best friends!Gojo and Geto, who are confused and can't look at you once you are completely undressed. You think they're experienced, so you're no longer embarrassed or afraid, as you did once you entered your bedroom. You stand naked in front of them, your chest sticking out, waiting for them to take action.

Best friends!Gojo and Geto, who just can't budge. They always thought you were cute and pretty, but now? You are a goddess. They are not sure that they are ready to "desecrate" your body.

Best friends!Gojo and Geto, who are about to leave because they feel ashamed of their own actions, but then you go over and kiss Suguru on the lips and start removing Satoru's clothes. They both freeze in shock before succumbing closer to you, to your warm skin and the gentle touch they've always dreamed of.

Best friends!Gojo and Geto, who become hard just from the fact that you lightly touched their cocks. Both of them have been dreaming about this for so long that they can now cum from any of your touch.

Best friends!Gojo and Geto, who don't let you please them. (And not only for the reasons described above). "This is your special day, baby." Satoru winks at you, trying to hide his own awkwardness, and Suguru silently buries his face in your neck, leaving a fleeting kiss.

Best friends!Gojo and Geto, who put you on the bed and freeze for a few seconds. They either admire your body or try to figure out what to do with you next. They are afraid that they will hurt you. Still, Suguru musters up his resolve and leaves fleeting kisses on your neck before slowly moving down to your chest. Satoru prefers to immediately lower his hand to feel your soft flesh and hardened nipple.

Best friends!Gojo and Geto, who are ready to thank any people or non-humans for being in this situation. They worship your body, ask if everything is okay, kiss you, and make you think you're going to have sex with your boyfriend.

Best friends!Gojo and Geto, who spend so much time covering your neck with kisses and little possessive marks, gently nibbling your shoulders, complimenting your breasts, and finally playing with your nipples. Fingers slide between them, gently, slowly twisting and squeezing. The sorcerers just can't help but kiss them. But what about the taste? Satoru's teeth only cause a little pain when he nibbles on your nipples and slightly wrinkles his nose to hide his happiness. Suguru focuses on sucking on your nipples as if his life depends on it, his right hand pressing against your cheek and supporting your head so that you can lie down more comfortably.

Best friends!Gojo and Geto, who aren't quite sure what to do with the bottom of your body. You have to patiently explain what the labia, clitoris, and vagina are, and what to do with them all. Fortunately, boys learn quickly, so you'll soon be lying on your back again, enjoying a treat you never imagined.

Best friends!Gojo and Geto, who are even now trying to fight for you. You have to shush them to stop them from breathing on your pussy and arguing, and they've already done something. In the end, Satoru leans in first and presses a careful kiss to your clit before licking the long way from the bottom of your labia to there. Suguru can only swallow his saliva and bend down to kiss your stomach and mumble that he just can't wait for his turn.

Best friends!Gojo and Geto, who still find a common language and come to a compromise. Satorus tongue is deep within you, exploring everything slowly and thoroughly. Blue eyes watch your every reaction, so as not to miss the moment when you will be particularly pleased. Satoru may forget mission tasks, but he will never forget where to press his fingers or tongue to make you moan. His big hands rest on your hips, preventing you from closing your legs even a little. Meanwhile, Suguru finds pleasure in sucking and licking your clit, his lips and tongue never leaving it. His dark eyes are also focused on your face, and he wouldn't be able to look away from you even if a gun was held to his forehead. The fingers of his left hand sometimes find themselves deep inside you, exploring everything along with Satoru`s tongue. His other hand plays with your left nipple. You can't refuse him when he gently and quietly asks you to touch another breast that has not received attention.

Best friends!Gojo and Geto, who almost earn a squint when you cum. They don't know where to look! On your face, on that shock in your eyes, when almost all your most intimate areas are aroused at the same time and so well? Or at your thighs twitching in Satoru's iron grip, the muscles clenching around his fingers, the clit that Suguru continues to cover with kisses? It's all so beautiful that they would love to take lots of photos and record videos, if only it weren't for the fact that they want you to be completely comfortable and trust them!

Best friends!Gojo and Geto, who unwittingly overstimulate you because they are too interested. They want to know everything about you. They already know your birthday, favorite color, your favorite character from a video game, TV series, and anime, the name of your favorite toy, your favorite food, and much, much more. So what's the problem with finding out what they need to do with your beautiful body to make you cum so hard that the stars will appear in front of your eyes?

Best friends!Gojo and Geto, who change to feel you fully. They whisper to each other how wonderful you taste, how wonderful you smell, how hard you squeeze on their fingers or tongue. They say you're a nice, sweet girl who does a great job with everything they give her. They murmur that one day they will make you their own, and you will bathe in love, pleasure and tenderness every day. These words aren't exactly meant for you, but you still get confused and try to hide from them. The sorcerers don't notice it at all, because they're too busy looking at the clear liquid that's all over your thighs.

Best friends!Gojo and Geto, who are ready to go completely naked to fight and find out who will take your virginity. You have to stop them and tell them that it will be Suguru, because Satoru is literally shaking with anticipation and you are afraid that he will accidentally hurt you. And while Satoru tries to convince you that he will be gentle and careful with you, Suguru unpacks a fresh pack of condoms.

Best friend!Geto, who intertwines his fingers with your right hand, with the other he holds your left thigh, his cock is about to enter you. Suguru feels his heart beating fast somewhere at the level of his temples, he can't catch his breath, his heart is about to stop from happiness. He carefully moves his hips forward and watches in horror as you grimace. He wants to come out and apologize to you, but calms down and continues to push when you say that you are just a little unpleasant and unusual, but definitely not in pain.

Best friend!Gojo, who lies next to your side and holds your other hand, watching enviously as his friend's cock disappears into the place he's been dreaming of for months. However, Satoru can't complain because he's too busy massaging your clit with his left hand and whispering in your ear that everything will be fine. He showers you with sweet compliments and tells you that soon you will feel so much pleasure that you will forget about the pain. You've already cum as many times as you've never cum in a single week of your life, so you're not sure whether to be happy or tense.

Best friend!Geto, who freezes as soon as his cock is fully inside you. He leans down and covers your cheeks with kisses, gently wipes away the traces of tears (left over and just appeared), asks if you are feeling well. He kisses you as many times as he can before you tell him, during a brief pause, that he can move.

Best friend!Gojo, who watches all this with envy, but doesn't interfere. He refuses when you offer to touch his penis. He wants so much to be inside you, to experience warmth and comfort! Satoru continues to touch your clit, hold your hand, but now his mouth has found its home on your left breast.

Best friend!Geto, who is very embarrassed when he suddenly cums. It seems to him that he did not give you any pleasure at all! His hands tighten on your hip and press your hand into the mattress. Suguru opens his mouth and can only groan loudly, feeling waves of pleasure wash over him. He lands gently on your chest and exhales loudly, his cheeks and neck red, and his eyes can't see anything because of happy tears.

Best friend!Gojo, who gently pushes Suguru in the side because it's his turn. He puts on a condom and enters you easier and easier, there is no stiffness and an invisible barrier in the form of your uncertainty or discomfort. Satoru curses it and adores it at the same time. He can move his hips faster, push you harder and harder, but the problem is that he was rubbing against your side, watching Suguru fuck you, so now he can cum even faster than his friend!

Best friends!Gojo and Geto, who lie down next to your sweaty, overexcited body and whisper that you did a great job. You want to go to sleep, but suddenly you feel their cocks getting hard again. You still offer to "lend a helping hand", but your friends refuse. They come up and tell you that they haven't satisfied you enough, so they'll have sex with you over and over and over again until they think you've had enough fun and cum enough times! After all, they are the strongest, so nothing is impossible for them!

Best friends!Gojo and Geto, who kiss you with all the tenderness and love that they have been hiding all this time. You're almost asleep when they whisper in your ear how much they love you.

Boyfriends!Gojo and Geto, who would like to kneel in front of you forever and call you "goddess" if only you would show them these cute faces showing how much you enjoy their touches, praises and words of love.

[floridian-vigilante]

hii it’s me again!! thank you so much for writing my request it was amazing!!

i have another idea if you don’t mind 🥰

maybe a headcannon or something for wayne going on a small trip with del to a local place (i just imagine him sneaking in so they don’t have to pay and being all awkward loll)

Thank you!!🫶🫶

aaaa yes yes i see definitely

another amazing ask ty as always lets get into it

so they have a couple spots they go to for hang-outs (dates)

and by a couple I really do just mean about two or three

I'm gonna tell you what sprung to mind for me when I first saw this

So Wayne's been wanting to take Del out somewhere for a while, nowhere fancy, but somewhere substantial

Only problem is that they're both broke as shit, and Del in particular doesn't have a lot of freedom while they're still in Brockton

Wayne won't lie or steal, and neither party are 100% of spending over twenty dollars each on an activity they're going into only kind of believing is half-enjoyable

Except, for one notoriously shitty movie theater on the outskirts of town that overprices everything they offer and doesn't pay any of their staff enough to make them care about checking tickets

or stopping any wayward teens that are clearly not paying customers from walking into whatever theatre they damn well please

and yes, Wayne's against stealing, but everyone who works the prices are so unreasonable and everyone who works there is an asshole it's like they're asking for it.

Funnily enough, despite his efforts in trying and failing to find a good place for weeks, it's Del who asks him out to this particular spot.

They're walking by on a night out and it's playing a movie Del's heard of and might have a slight interest in and they didn't have anything else to do so they went in

Wayne doesn't really like movies, he can't really be entertained by sitting still and watching something for an hour or so

But this one's got a good amount of action in it and Del's like immediately attaching herself to his side the moment they sit down so, y'know, no complaints there

But they're in an early-ish stage of their relationship where Wayne still has a lot of trouble initiating physical contact

and guys he REALLYYY wants to hold her hand

but he gets all nervous about it and he doesn't want to disturb or distract her or seem needy or anything

and she's told him again and again that it's not a problem but he didn't grow up in a place where physical touch was a good, frequent and/or nice thing and so it's hard for him to internalize it

About forty minutes in, things are slowing down a bit in the movie and Del's got one of her hands messing around with his hair and he just decides fuck it and reaches over and grabs her free hand

And it truly is as uneventful as it sounds but it's still a personal victory for him.

He figures out some time later that Del had been trying to get him to make out with her basically the whole time they were in there

embarrassing but he makes up for it in subsequent trips to the theatre

So yeah they go to the movies sometimes

The other place that comes to mind, and Wayne thinks of this one, is the public swimming pools

Which sounds a little unromantic but trust they make it work

Del just tells him one night when she misses her mum that she wants to go swimming, since she hasn't really since Donna died

obviously not expecting anything to come of it, it's just an urge she has and lets him know about

The proactive boyfriend he is, Wayne goes on to break them into the local community swimming pools nigh immediately

Del can't with him why did he do that

She's deeply and irrevocably charmed by the action nonetheless

Wayne doesn't know how to swim and honestly doesn't plan on getting in but there's no conceivable way he could just sit there awkwardly watching her the entire time while she's coaxing him into the water

He folds in like 10 minutes

50/50 on whether he jumps in in full day clothes or not

Either way it's a pretty fun time.

Del tries teaching him to swim and he's really awkward about the proximity because swimwear but he doesn't do so bad.

they're probably a bit louder than they should be because the cops are called but they slip out a window and evade them just fine

that's all i have right now my friend thank you so much for the ask this was so cute!! (also sorry for the inactivity I am back at school right now but the hyperfixation is still kicking!!)

[beanarie]

fanfic writer answers!

thank you for the questions! ❤️

@nzchance 8, 20

Is there a story idea you have that you would love if it could appear fully realized but that you do not think you’ll ever write yourself?

i really really really would've liked to contribute more madi-focused fic for black sails, especially a post finale epic dealing with all her years afterwards. but i never got her voice down to the point where i felt comfortable writing in her pov. characters who are good and responsible and driven without gaping holes in their armor are hard for me to get a handle on.

Is there anything about any one of your fics that you have been dying to discuss but haven’t had the chance to?

in the parent trap fic, tommy's story about changing denny's diapers. he and sal and chim went over to hen's because she was super injured! she wasn't just a deadbeat making her coworkers parent her infant son (the first time. second and third were kind of up for interpretation). tommy didn't explain that because he didn't think news of his mom almost dying on the job right after she got him would've made denny feel great.

(more q&a after the cut)

@trombonechurchill 1, 5

Have you pulled inspiration from media sources other than the property your fic is related to (a plot point from a TV show that has nothing to do with the characters/setting of the fic, a line from a book, etc.)? If so, for which story? Why did you find that media source compelling?

sea legs, my mal/eames story, was very influenced by mid-career guy ritchie movies snatch and rocknrolla. tom hardy played the character of all time in rocknrolla. it wasn't the hugest of leaps.

Is there a tiny detail in one of your fics that you feel goes tragically unnoticed?

this is more directors commentary than "y'all missed this". in an awful and dreary blank, tommy actually got his phone taken away from him because he was spending ten minutes writing an individual text, getting more agitated as each reply came in from buck, and his chief was like, okay, enough. i'm gonna hold onto that, because if you go on like this for much longer someone is gonna sedate you.

@geddyqueer 3, 15

What is the most amount of research you’ve done for the smallest detail? What was the detail and how much time/effort went into researching it?

can i count my work experience as research time?? because i have spent hours and hours in outpatient clinics, hospitals, and sub acute rehabs just so i can add, like, "annoying healthcare PSAs were playing on a loop over the speakers" lol. oh, black sails was fun because at one point i had to wonder what they even did with fish in the 1700s, and that led to a throwaway line about packing it in salt.

Is there any genre, trope, or style that you find particularly challenging to write? Do you enjoy the challenge or prefer to avoid it?

i'm really not a plot girlie. and i don't do action scenes (currently stuck on one!). i get very pleased with myself when i'm able to write around it so there's Stuff going on, just not on the main stage. like, there's a seasoning of plot. i don't seek out plotty concepts unless i can figure out how to shove it in the background.

@bidisasterevankinard 10, 11

If you could banish a single trope to live at the bottom of the ocean, never to be seen again by any human eyes (or at least your own), which trope would that be?

sex pollen. intellectually, theoretically, i understand the appeal, but the concept squicks me hard.

Conversely, if you had to pick a single trope to read for the next seven-and-half years, which trope would that be?

whump, h/c. it's sort of ingrained in me. this is so embarrassing but when i was little, i would play hospital with my stuffed animals, bandage them up with toilet paper, make IV lines with scotch tape (my mom was just telling someone this for some reason!).

[cameronspecial]

Thorn In My Side, Rose In My Hand (Part 15)

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings:  Sexual jokes and Ward being a meany.

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 2.9K

Summary: The end of the school year brings about a lot of different activities when you are graduating and spending the with Rafe is absolutely perfect. But this also means the start of a new chapter in their lives.

A/N: Can't believe this is the last part! I absolutely loved writing this story and I hope you guys enjoyed it. Thank you to the anonymous person who sent me that ask for inspiring this series. I don't know if this is the Rafe you were talking about but still got me inspired.

Masterlist

Y/N never understood the big hubbub people throw when it comes to Prom. And she definitely does not understand how any girl could want such a public display of being asked to Prom. She watches as Bane Rogers rides into the cafe on a horse in a knight costume toward Grace Harper. He held a promposal sign in his hand and the look on Grace’s face indicates she is going to say yes. Y/N watches the whole scene with clear disinterest, which contrasts the look of most of the other girls in the room. “You seem to be the only girl not captivated by the Bane’s scene right now,” Mason comments, sliding beside his sister into the booth. Rafe is not far behind, his eyes not leaving the scene. He is so glad he knows Y/N would not want a big spectacle when he asks her because he doesn’t know if he’d be able to handle the embarrassing feeling of doing something like Bane.

Y/N watches Rafe as she replies, “Yeah, well I just don’t get the point. Big and fancy proposals, prom related or not, have always weirded me out. With such a public display, it almost feels like you are trapped to say yes and I don’t like that. I definitely don’t want anything special for a promposal anyways. I mean poor Rafe is already going to have to think of a marriage proposal, I don’t want to give him a harder time by having to top a promposal.” Rafe nods at her words in  understanding and feels a blush creep up on his neck at her mention of marriage. “Well, in that case. My rose, will you go to prom with me?” 

She looks at him with an incredulous look. “Ugh, no. Rafe, you were supposed to disregard my words and give me a promposal that tops Bane’s.” Rafe panics quickly as he tries to backpedal disappointing his girlfriend. She sees his struggle and giggles, “I’m joking, Cameron. I would love to go with you. Could we match? I’m thinking light purple.” Rafe not one to say no to his rose, of course, agrees. 

——

Y/N looks around at all the other girls showing off their prom dresses and her eyes almost pop out of their sockets at the amount of money some of them spent. Rafe looks amused at the look on her face. “What’s wrong?” Y/N tilts her head so she can look him in the eye. She brings her lips close to his ear, “All their dresses are so expensive. I mean twenty thousand dollars for a dress. Going to Paris to get the dress made. I don’t want to make fun of people but these girls are acting like they are getting married. I wouldn’t pay that much for a wedding dress, let alone a prom dress.” Rafe laughs at her candour and just shakes his head. “Well, you aren’t like most girls. Wow, that was cheesy. But those girls were cheated, honestly. You probably paid one percent of what they did and you are the most beautiful person here.” She smiles up at him and rewards his adorableness with a kiss. “Come on, let’s go dance.”

Her lilac a-line scoop floor-length chiffon dress trails along the floor just perfectly thanks to the cream-coloured heels she is wearing. She absolutely loves it, but her favourite part is the pockets. It was the very first thing she showed Rafe when he came to pick her up. Rafe follows Y/N towards the dance floor and places his hands on her hips when she started dancing. He is wearing a lilac suit jacket and pants that are an identical shade to Y/N’s dress. It is a bold colour he would not usually wear, but he loves the idea of matching her. He wears a white dress shirt with no tie to give it a little bit more of a causal look that matches the same aesthetic of Y/N’s dress. They both looked formal in their attire but with a hint of leisure. 

The beat of the music moves the crowd of teens in various directions. At a certain point, Lacey joins the couple and starts dancing with Y/N. Rafe being made the third wheel, not that he minded, makes his way to the food table. He wants to get something for Y/N to eat when she eventually gets peckish after dancing. He fills one plate with a few fruits and vegetables before filling another plate with just about every cocktail food at the table. He makes sure to add double of anything that has cheese in it. He gets himself some chicken wings and then balances all the plates over to the table Y/N wanted to sit at. 

Mason comes over to see the stockpile Rafe created. “You plan on hibernating this summer?” Rafe shakes his head, “Haha, I’m just getting all the good stuff for Y/N before they are gone. She is dancing over there with Lace.” Mason looks over to where Rafe points. “I see. Preparing for when she gets cranky. I see you got two of all the cheese things. Good, cheese calms Y/N/N,” Mace teases. He doesn’t see that his sister has made her way behind him, so he doesn’t expect the hit on the arm she throws at him. “Hey, I don’t get cranky,” she objects. “And thank you, Cameron. I am pretty hungry, right now. These all look so good. What do you guys choose for dinner? I got the portobello ravioli and I’m excited.” “Mace and I chose the steak. You can have some of mine if you want,” Rafe answers. Lacey sits at the table with them, “I ordered the vegan meal. I wanted to see how they made an upscale vegan dish.” It doesn’t surprise the group that Lacey’s dinner choice was based on her curiosity about how the meal is made instead of what she actually wants to eat. 

Dinner is served a few minutes after the group sits down. Dancing quickly resumes once the meal is finished and it is soon time for Prom Queen and King to be announced. Y/N isn’t too thrilled about being on the Prom court. The idea of being crowned is not high on her list of things she wants to accomplish, but she knows Rafe secretly loves the idea of being Prom royalty. So she is going to suck up her lack of enthusiasm and put on a smiling face for him. “And this year's Prom Queen and King are Y/N Y/L/N and Rafe Cameron,” Principal Grant announces. The sound of applause fills the banquet hall as crowns are placed on both of their heads. 

Rafe looks down at her as they slow dance as the King and Queen of the night. He can’t hide the love held in his eyes from her and even though she doesn’t understand the big deal about prom, she can understand that this moment is perfect. Pretending it is only her and Rafe in their own little bubble under the beautiful fake stars on the ceiling.

——

Graduation. An important milestone that people like to celebrate with extravagance. The students at Kildare Academy aren’t immune to these wishes. Y/N and Rafe had decorated their caps with matching roses the week before. It’s easy to spot each other through the crowd of other graduates looking for their own friends and loved ones. She runs into his arms with her diploma in hand, making sure to hold her cap so it doesn’t fall off her head. “We did it,” Rafe cheers, twirling her around a little quickly. She laughs at his action, “We did. I’m so proud of us!” “Come on, let’s go find everyone else so we can go to the graduation party.”

Surprisingly, Ward Cameron helped Cassie and Marvin a little bit with planning the joint graduation party. Rafe had refused to have his graduation party without the presence of Y/N and Mason, so he left Ward no choice but to allow the party to be combined with the Y/L/N’s. All of the three graduates' family and friends, who didn’t have their own parties, came to celebrate them. “Yes, Great-Aunt Ida. I am dating Rafe. Yes, Rafe as in Mason’s best friend,” Y/N clarifies to her mother’s aunt. Ida gives her a funny look, “Really, my dear? You don’t seem like you would have the same personality. From what I remember, he is much more social than you are.” Y/N meekly nods at the statement and excuses herself with some fake excuse of helping Bella with something. 

Y/N had had multiple conversations like that one throughout the party and she was beginning to get tired of having to reiterate the same points to her family member’s still unaware of her relationship with Rafe because it had been a while since she’s seen them. Luckily, Rafe is there to whisk her away somewhere private. “Now, why do we have to be in private? It would be really weird to do anything during the party with literally just about all of our family downstairs,” she teases, turning towards Rafe. 

“Of course, that’s not what I want. When did you get such a dirty mind? I just have a gift to give you. Now, close your eyes.”

“But Cameron, we promised no graduation gifts.” 

“I know, but this isn’t really a gift just for you. It’s a gift for both of us. I promise.”

“Okay, fine. But the next big event we celebrate, I’m buying the gift for ‘us’.”

Rafe waits for Y/N to close her eyes before placing an envelope on top of her palms facing up. She peeks her eyes open and quickly shuts them before he can see her; she knows he would want to be the one to advise her to open her eyes. “Okay, you can open them, now.” She does just that and opens the envelope without hesitation. Inside, she finds various receipt screenshots for plane tickets from North Carolina to Oxford. The dates on the tickets are for all throughout her school year and the last one is even the seat beside hers for when she goes home for next summer. 

ˇOMG, Rafe. These are too much. What if something happens?” 

“Nothing will happen. And I just wanted to get us them to show you how sure I am about our relationship.”

“Thank you so much! I love them. I can’t wait for you to visit already and I’m not even in Oxford. I’m going to spend all my free time looking for places for us to go.”

Rafe laughs at her excitement and lets himself be pulled into the big hug she throws at him. 

——

A week before Rafe is supposed to go off college, Ward asks Y/N if he could talk to her. After graduation, Rafe had gone back to living at Tannyhill because he only had a few more days with his sisters, so the couple was spending more time at his house. Rafe is currently dropping Wheezie off at a friend’s house. “So my son is off to college next week,” Ward states, rounding his desk to sit in front of it. Y/N inches a little bit from the door, “Yes, I know that. I’m supposed to help him move into his dorm. Mason is already in Toronto and I start at the beginning of October, so I have time to help out.”

“I see. And am I to understand that my son already bought tickets to come to visit you at Oxford.” 

“He did. I didn’t ask him to, but it was a sweet graduation gift.”

“It is. It is. And what have you sacrificed for my son?”

“Excuse me?”

“Well, from a parent's perspective, I see Rafe always making an attempt to sacrifice things in his life to keep your relationship going. He didn’t throw a big birthday party for his 18th because you don’t love big parties. He was going to break the family tradition of going to UNC, just to follow you across the pond. Now, he is sacrificing his reading weeks to go to Oxford. Instead of going to Miami or California for spring break, he is going to Oxford to watch you study.”

“I never asked him to buy those tickets.”

“Yet, you didn’t think of buying them yourself. Is it because deep down, you already know what you have to do?”

“No, it’s just… it’s just that UK universities have a different timing for school breaks so it’s better to buy my tickets closer to the actual day.”

“Sure, you keep telling yourself that. I have nothing more to say to you. You may go.”

Y/N leaves the room without another word. Truth is that Ward had been correct. At the time, she was super excited about Rafe’s gift. It felt so romantic. However, the more she started to plan her future with Rafe, she realizes he is indeed the one doing all the sacrifices. Ward pounding that into her head doesn’t help. Rafe is now returning from dropping Wheezie off and he sees her. “Hey, everything okay?” She smiles up at him, “Yeah. I just thought I saw a spider.” 

——

A week has passed meaning Rafe’s move-in day is today. He is packing up his stuff into his jeep and waiting for Y/N to get here with Mason’s car, so she can bring the stuff that doesn’t fit into the car. He hears the gravel succumbing to the weight of the tires and turns towards the opening of the gate. He watches her get out of the car, jogging over to give her a kiss. She doesn’t have her brilliant smile on his face which concerns him, but he doesn’t say anything. He notices as she leans away from his kiss instead of leaning into it like she normally does. He shyly moves away from her and watches as she starts putting his stuff into Mason’s car without saying anything. Once they have everything packed up, Rafe says a heartfelt goodbye to his family and they drive off. 

Rafe and Y/N planned to stay on call throughout the drive when they were separated between the two cars to make sure she doesn’t get lost. Rafe expected the conversation to flow and to be bountiful, but instead, he is left with a one-sided conversation with her just humming in response. Rafe knew the silent battle going on in her head. The argument she is having with herself about what she is going to do when they get to their final destination. However, Rafe isn’t going to let her just give up on them without a fight. 

——

They arrive at Rafe’s dorm and they swiftly get all of his stuff out of their cars and into his room. Rafe’s roommate isn’t supposed to come for another two days, so they have the room to themselves. He doesn’t feel like doing anything else after they get all the boxes inside. “Should we get some dumplings? Or maybe a pizza? Or how about some ramen?” he recommends, wanting to delay the unwanted conversation as much as he can. “Cameron, we need to talk.”

“No, we really don’t. We need food. Food is what we need.”

“Cameron, please. Don’t make this any harder for me than it already is.” 

“Then don’t do it. You don’t have to. We can work out the long distances. This doesn’t need to be the end.”

His tears begin to shed like a waterfall. He feels helpless in this situation like he is drowning. He tries to cover his eyes; however, she takes his hands into hers. “You know it has to be. Cameron, there is just so much against us. I mean the distance, our personalities, our futures. We aren’t meant to be.”

“Don’t say that. Don’t say it as if you believe it. Please, my rose.” 

“But I do. I wouldn’t be saying this if I didn’t believe it. I love you, but I need to let you go.” 

“No, my rose. Please. Just give this a shot before you end the possibility completely.”

“I’m sorry, Cameron. I can’t. I’m breaking up with you.” 

Rafe’s sadness shifts to anger as he realizes how easily she is willing to let him go. He knows it’s futile to put up any more of a fight, so his brain switches to the next best thing, which is defending his heart from any more heartbreak. “Fine, you want to be that way, then go! I don’t need you anymore, Y/L/N. You were always such a ball and chain to me anyways. I’ll be better off without you!” he shouts, gesturing his hands around like a wild man. Y/N looks at him with sad eyes. She can see the hurt in his eyes and understands what he is doing. It still doesn’t stop the sting of his words in her hurt. She gets up slowly from the bed they sat upon, “Okay. If that’s what you want, then I’ll go. This past year with you has been amazing. And I will never stop loving you. But I’m doing this for us, Rafe. You’ll see.”

With that, she gets her purse off the floor and walks out of his dorm. Rafe has no choice but to watch his rose slip out of his hands without a clue of if she is ever going to be back within his grasp. 

Taglist: @itsalexwin @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @gillybear17 @terraeluce @f4ll-for-you @ineedtosusoutmyreadinglist @rafegirly

[breella]

Secrets

A/N: This was originally part of a series I was writing but I wasn't happy with how the first part came out so I decided to post this part. Background info that is missing due to not posting the first part: y/n is Rhys' sister. She was under the mountain with him. Her and Eris met each other under the mountain and a mating bond snapped in place for them. They knew it wasn't safe to accept it there so they his it from everyone including Rhys. This takes place after the war with Hybern.

Also this is my first time writing anything other than essays in over 10 years. Sorry for any mistakes I haven't edited yet. I know if I don't post it now I won't. lol

You were sitting at the dinner table in the house of wind with your family when you heard Eris’s voice come through the bond. “I need to see you” he said. His voice had an edge to it that you hadn’t heard before. Annoyed by the interruption you sighed.

“Everything okay?” Cassian asked as he bumped your shoulder with his own.

“Huh? Yeah I’m fine. Sorry I was just thinking about the amount of paperwork I have piled on my desk.” You replied. You saw Rhys studying you from the corner of you eye but ignored him. You didn’t feel like dealing with your overprotective big brother right now.

“Y/n please talk to me.” Eris said in your mind. His tone almost made you want to give in. It had been three weeks since you last saw him. The two of you had a big fight. He still wasn’t ready to accept the bond. He said it would never be safe for you as long as Beron was alive. You had told him you were done waiting and that you weren’t afraid of Beron. You pleaded with him to allow you to accept the bond so that the two of you didn’t have to hide anymore and could finally be together. Things escalated into yelling, both of you saying things you didn’t mean. At the end you told him you were done. You said you would reject the bond. “Fine” was all he said as you walked away. He didn’t follow you.

“I’m busy, Eris.” You sent back. Your heart was still broken. You didn’t mean what you said about rejecting the bond. You knew deep down he didn’t mean the things he said to you that night. You just couldn't understand why he didn’t want to accept the mating bond. Did he not love you? Was he embarrassed of you?

“Meet me tonight y/n. I need to see you. It’s been too long.” He said.

“I can’t keep doing this. It hurts too much.” You let more emotion come through in your reply than you intended. You wanted him to think you were okay without him. You wanted him to believe that you didn’t need him.

“I never intended to hurt you. Meet me in our usual spot and we can talk about things.”

“Fine. I’ll be there at midnight.” You replied and slammed your mental shields down. You knew you shouldn’t have given in that easily. This meeting was going to end in 1 of 2 ways. Either you would end up arguing again and you would leave more heart broken than you already were, or he would give you the same excuses as always and the two of you would spend the night with him inside of you and leave in the morning without talking about anything.

“Are you coming with us y/n” you were pulled out of your thoughts by Mor’s question. You hadn’t heard the conversation, but you knew enough about your friends to assume they were going to Rita’s on a Saturday night.

“Not tonight. I have something I need to take care of.” You faked a smile at her.

“Oh, come on. You haven’t been out with us in ages. We will have so much fun.”

“Next time” was your only reply as you got up and walked into the kitchen to empty your plate. You needed time to gather your thoughts. You poured yourself a glass of wine and leaned against the counter sighing. It wasn’t long before you heard footsteps entering the kitchen. You turned and met the stare of your brother. “I should have known you would follow me in here.”

“What’s wrong?” Concern laced through his features.

“You worry too much.” You laughed.

“You haven’t been yourself lately.” Rhys replied.

“I’m fine, I promise.” You lied. You couldn’t bring yourself to tell Rhys or any of the rest of your family the truth. You knew you would have to tell them one day, but right now you had enough to deal with. Once Eris was ready, if he ever was, you would work out how and when to tell them. For now, you didn’t want them to worry. You knew once they found out Eris was your mate, they would try to keep you away from him. They would try to convince you not to accept the bond. They didn’t know him in the way you did. No one truly knew him like you did. You were the only person he let see the real him. He had saved you under the mountain, and no matter what happened between the 2 of you now you would forever be grateful for that.

12:01 am. You spent the last hour debating on backing out. Your heart couldn’t handle much more. You felt a pull on that invisible string forever tying the two of you together. You knew he was waiting. You hoped he was as nervous as you were. You took one last look in the mirror. You had changed out of the dress you were wearing and into a pair of black leggings and cream-colored oversized sweater. You left your hair down because you knew he loved it that way. You also had applied some deep red lipstick because you knew it drove it mad. You knew you looked good but the casual clothing you opted for made it seem as if you weren’t trying too hard to impress him. Satisfied by your looks you decided you were as ready as you were ever going to be. You winnowed directly into the cabin hidden deep inside the autumn forest.

“Hello beautiful.” Eris smirked at you.   

[tarakaybee]

I Was Right (Oxventure Wyrdwood Thoughts)

In the past on this extremely low follower blog of mine, I've talked about how I liked Oxventure for the first few sessions before it deteriorated into unstructured nonsense with no emotional stakes, no story, and no interesting gameplay and I stopped watching after they started to become repetitive, derivative, uninspired and a lot of other mean words. The reason that I fixated on its problems is because I genuinely thought everybody involved was extremely talented, I could vividly imagine a slightly better version that I would've loved, if only they had greater ambitions than just doing gags for six years like they were writing The Beano. I've been thinking on this a lot, but I remember that I quickly emotionally connected with the five player characters in the early campaign and some of the early NPCs, and my villain origin story for my many frustrations with Oxventure was that I felt embarrassed for emotionally investing myself when the campaign progressed and it became clear that there were never going to be any emotional consequences for anything.

I think everybody should play D&D the way that they find fun, even if, no especially if it's a campaign that is being filmed and broadcast, but it irked me that they never engaged with a lot of the fun parts of the game, which are fun and designed specifically to be fun. I'm trying to not sound like I'm gatekeeping, I sincerely believe that they simply never read the books in any amount of detail and never became aware of the interesting parts and would've enjoyed it if they did, because I just don't see how you can be a fan of a game system if you have to remove more than half of the rules to enjoy yourself. I've long held the suspicion that when they started playing they were instructed by Johnny to not worry about understanding all of the rules right away, and the players held the belief for years that the rules were extremely complicated, when they continued to not learn them. Mike in particular makes jokes about how he doesn't understand the rules, like in the lead-up to Orbpocalypse Saga where Johnny explained what spell slots were, Mike made a joke about how the explanation would take several hours because it was so complicated despite the fact that it's literally just a few rows of boxes that you tick off when you spend them, the Paper Mario games have a more complex magic resource system than that and Mike is supposed to be a games journalist.

After not watching the main campaign for several years, I decided to give Oxventure Deadlands a try, and I was surprised that Andy ran a campaign where he was willing to say no sometimes, and sticks to a consistent emotional tone without sacrificing the all-important comedy, and I said on this very blog that if Johnny were to run a campaign in this style where the players were willing to take things seriously that would be absolutely perfect, because Johnny has established their strong storytelling chops in basically every way possible other than during Oxventure Prime.

And I was right!

They were all capable of the kind of D&D campaign I wanted to see, and thought would be more deep and enriching than just going for the cheapest gags every time, they decided to take that leap and Johnny just casually, offhandedly created one of the all-time best campaign settings in episode one of a new campaign. Oxventure Wyrdwood, based on only one episode is absolutely brilliant and everything I've wanted out of Oxventure for the past six years, the first time Johnny actually wrote a story in earnest it was so creative, so inspired, so rich with lore, and unlike some seasons of Dimension 20, they did it in a way that was concise.

All the players are great too:

Luke Dob was a seminal moment for me in my experience of the D&D hobby, the simple combination of half-orc and bard was such a brilliant combination that it inspired a five year long campaign in which I played a character inspired by that same combination. Happen is a very fun concept, I always love it when a player mixes and matches classes and backgrounds, Acolyte is an interesting background for a Ranger that gives Happen a lot of fun depth, and I enjoy the Cadence Dice system so far.

Jane I knew that Jane was going to go for the logical opposite of Prudence, I definitely called that Jane would be a Life Domain Cleric months and months ago. What I liked about Willowfine from the offset is that Jane doesn't play her superficially, she isn't just a healer, she is actually, genuinely kind, her first healing action being to save one of the episode's antagonists was a brilliant tone setting moment for the character and the campaign as a whole.

Ellen Like Jane, Ellen made a brilliant choice of playing against type for herself, but I really like that Ellen's way of playing an extremely selfish character is distinct from the way Jane did and has some obvious nuance to it. Prudence was obsessed with violence and evil magic and generally likes amusing herself, whereas Cressida seems to be more interested in her image and personal pride. Related, I don't think I would've called Prudence actually evil, she didn't do that many obviously selfish things when compared to say, Corazon, she was basically just a dramatic goth who likes the aesthetic of evil. In contrast, Cressida has a selfish motivation that is easier to accurately roleplay without becoming a liability to the party.

Andy It was very obvious that there was some secret gimmick to the way Andy was going to go about things and the way things turned out intrigues me greatly. He was the player that surprised me the most, I love the idea that Robin genuinely has a commoner's stat block until the evil side takes over. Aberrant Mind is a fun subclass, and it looks as though he gained Cure Wounds from his Magic Initiate subclass to fit into the witch aesthetic a little more.

Mike With Mike, this is where my one nitpick lies, I don't think Mike is the best roleplayer of the bunch. The fact that Mike doesn't understand extremely basic parts of the rules at this point has long stopped being funny and genuinely just reflects poorly on him. Why does he still not know how proficiency and attack modifiers work? It's literally a sum consisting of adding two single-digit numbers together, and it's a sum that you're supposed to write on your character sheet before playing to eliminate the brainwork of doing it mid-session. And if doing two minutes of homework to prepare your character sheet before playing a two-hour game of D&D is too much, why doesn't he just use D&D Beyond which adds the two numbers together for you? That's exactly how I learned it, and also the fact that I just read the rules recreationally because I thought that they were fun.

I was surprised that he read what Rage actually does, but then Mike gets confused when Johnny doesn't do the maths to half incoming damage for him, despite the fact that it's not Johnny's job to use Mike's character abilities for him. To put this as nicely as possible, I knew Mike was going to choose Barbarian because if you don't like the game system as Mike seems not to, you at least don't have to interact with it much if you choose the class with the fewest abilities possible. Mike seemed to shine the best in Blades in the Dark, which seems to be designed to have as few rolls as reasonably possible.

Roleplay-wise, I think Mike portrayed Lug as different enough from Egbert that I was happy with the character in concept, but like with his other characters, there is no second layer below the obvious quirks that are on the surface like everybody else demonstrated.

Johnny Johnny was always my biggest problem with Oxventure Prime, I found their DM philosophy and storytelling choices completely mystifying. Why when Luke established that Dob was looking for his sister did this plot get resolved offscreen by an NPC? Why when Andy said he was searching for a pirate treasure did Johnny forget about this plot for two real years and have Corazon find the bulk of it offscreen between episodes? Why did Johnny not write a plot or do any worldbuilding the entire first campaign when not having anything set in stone created massive problems in the final story arc when their farewell tour gets cut short because the players can't remember more than one notable location and only two NPCs? Why did Johnny constantly ask the players to roll for things that were not optional, and then when the player rolls low, just ignoring the result and saying they passed?

In this campaign, with a mere few months of doing actual legwork, in Oxventure Wyrdwood, Johnny crafted a beautiful, immersive and unique story setting. In the first boss fight at the end of the first session, the monster was consistently doing enough damage that it could have killed everybody other than Lug in one hit if they didn't fight smart, and fight smart they did, it made perfect sense for the monster to quickly go down when the other members of the Folkmoot arrived. There were a couple of rules-aberrations, but my problem isn't getting rules wrong, it's not using game mechanics and everybody was definitely engaging more with the gameplay and not treating it like an unwanted obligation this time I feel.

In addition, I love the "Magic Will Have Its Due" mechanic, it's not just cool sounding words that Johnny plastered over the marketing, it's an intrinsic part of the story, and therefore an intrinsic part of the gameplay. This is probably one of the only ways you could outright play anything resembling a horror campaign in D&D, where there isn't so much a consistent looming threat and the stakes take a different form. The main horror module in 5E, Curse of Strahd, is a very well designed story and game experiences, but the horror aspect pretty much doesn't exist in the gameplay after the players level up a few times.

I was cautiously optimistic before this first session, but now I'm actively excited in a way that I haven't been since Critical Role campaign two. I desperately hope this quality remains consistent throughout the remainder of this story. Also, I'm glad the episodes have proper titles and not things like "Water Wonderful World" or whatever.

[stinklebug]

i have had a macaronai fic idea sitting in my head for Months and i wanna write it, but i don't know when i'll actually get to do that so i'm gonna talk about it because i am Thinking About Them

it starts simple. small. just chai asking macaron if he wants to have lunch, because they both happen to be in the tower and, hey, why not? so they have lunch, it's chill and fine, nothing out of the ordinary.

chai starts asking macaron to hangout more after that. they have a movie night just the two of them, play some games, go for drives in the truck, chai makes him a playlist that they listen to together, he visits him during work hours, lunch and dinner and brunch, they go to a concert—

and then, after about two months of consistent hanging out, chai suddenly just...vanishes. not literally. but he's avoiding macaron for some reason. responses are curt, conversations are rushed and awkward. macaron doesn't know what to make of it...he's hurt. and worried. did he do something wrong?

it hurts him a fair amount because, by this point, macaron has a crush on chai. even if he didn't, he still would be upset, but those Feelings amplify it

he talks to cnmn about his worries, and cnmn, drawing the expression of someone who Knows Something and is So Tired onto their face, tells him he just needs to go talk to mr. chai about it. problem is, macaron has No Idea where he is. but the hideout is always a good place to start

unfortunately, he's not there. luckily, peppermint is—and she knows exactly where chai ran off to.

cue macaron heading to the top of the production building (specifically where chai is shown to be practicing guitar during the credits animation), asking chai what's going on, and chai struggling to explain himself. instead of just confessing, he mostly just reassures macaron that it's not his fault.

the whole reason he stopped hanging out with macaron so suddenly is because he realized that he's got a big ol' crush on him, which made him freak out. so he fell back on old habits, isolating himself to prevent ruining the relationship and embarrassing himself.

they sort of just sit in the awkward silence as the sun sets. macaron asks if they're okay and if they can go back to hanging out again soon, because he misses it. chai is surprised by this.

"really?" "yeah. i enjoy spending time with you. you're so much fun! you always know how to make me smile and relax, even after a real bad day—or during a stressful, life-or-death situation. that's one of the reasons why i like you."

chai gets all Flustered, macaron says he's cute when he blushes, More Flustered and also "wait did you just call me cute?"

now Macaron's flustered, and he winds up confessing, to which chai is Shocked and reacts how he always does: wondering if this is a prank. but then he remembers that this is macaron, who would never do something cruel like that, and he doesn't know what to do so he just sits there stunned Speechless

and then it wraps up with them talking about going on an Actual date, and it ends with one of them saying the title: "It's a date!"

[s3a-s1ug]

Enkivaldr confession scenario part two

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You can read part one here

It took Enki a while to even process the fact that someone confessed their feelings to him- HIM!? Let’s say he never really thought this would happen to him. Let alone it all coming from Ragnvaldr- the brute- the outlander- the northerner!! They were practically opposites!! But he couldn’t deny that he did feel… comfortable with him

The next two days consisted of Enki trying to avoid any form of contact with Ragnvaldr out of sheer embarrassment and dare I even say shyness. Enki was stuck- how does he even reciprocate these feelings? He’s not sure he can even show the right amount of affection because of his naturally cold nature.

Meanwhile Ragnvaldr is kind of a mess. He straight up thinks Enki is ignoring him on purpose- ‘gods what if Enki really hates me…’

He goes outside to clear his head and sits beside a tree ‘…I must seem like a fool…’

He closed his eyes and sighed as he relaxed against the tree, taking in the sound of nature

But then he heard the sound of grass being pressed on just by the other side of the tree. Someone sitting down?

He opened his eyes and moved his head ever so slightly to get a peek at whoever was on the other side of the tree.

Long light hair draped down to the ground, sharp green gloves pressing against the grass. Enki.

They both sat in silence at opposite sides of the tree for what seemed like a while until Enki cleared his throat

“Ragnvaldr of Oldegård… I have considered your- confession…”

“Oh…ja…”

‘Well this is it’ Ragnvaldr thought ‘I just hope he isn’t too harsh about turning me down’

“…and I believe I- reciprocate those…feelings…”

‘Wait…what..?’ Ragnvaldrs thought, his mind starting to run. He nudged slightly over to the other side of the tree

“Spending my time with you has been…different. I’ve felt different. Even if you are just a brute- you make me feel…uhm…appreciated”

The backhanded compliment brought a smile to Ragnvaldr’s face

Enki nudged closer

“…… but I do warn that I may not be able to… show as much affection… as you might show to me- I suppose I’m just- not used to it…”

Enki’s voice was trailing off a bit. Not sure how or what to even say. They both were now almost touching shoulders until Ragnvaldr took one of Enki’s gloved hands with both of his own

“Enki… I promise you this…”

He squeezed Enki’s hand and leaned closer

“I will be there for you and with you every step of the way. You already make me feel so appreciated and when I’m in your company I feel at home. And I will make sure you feel the same way as I do you with you…”

Enki looked at Ragnvaldr being struck with some odd emotion he’s never felt before.

“...Jag lovar”

Their faces were nearly inches apart. Ragnvaldr leaned in more and…

…hugged him..? Tightly.

What a warm embrace. Enki truly felt comfortable, appreciated… loved.

At least for the first three seconds due to him feeling his own bones being squeezed

“Gh! A-alright… brute- gh -…t-tight-!”

“åh! ursäkta!”

He quickly let go of Enki and chuckled.

Enki sort of missed the warmth of his embrace but then Ragnvaldr placed a hand on top of Enki’s. Both of them starting to relax as they listen to the ambiance of nature. Comfortable in each other’s presence

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Hope you guys enjoy my first finished fic!! I had so much fun writing this jsksjsjks

ALSO GUYS PLEASE REQUEST STUFF I NEED MORE!!!

(´；ω；`)