#but could i really be sorry? if inaction was a way of protecting myself?

[emos-in-2020s-still-exist]

you all believed i was the only one who could have helped you. is it my fault that i didn't?

[miraculouscontent]

After reading that, I think it's safe to say that Miraculous Ladybug is more of a horror/psychological thriller than romance/comedy. And now I want an AU where Marinette takes the earrings off and realizes that they're messing with head

Marinette felt strange, and after getting used to the feeling of being on the Startrain, she knew it wasn't the cause. She felt lighter - less restricted - somehow, and while a part of her had expected that due to handing off the ladybug miraculous, it wasn't in the way she'd expected.

Once she was done sending Alya all the Ladybug tips, Marinette had figured they'd start talking about Adrien or what their next scheme would be once she got back, but she ended up finding the idea tiring. It was odd in the way that finding something in her room just slightly out of place would be (at least before the kwami began living there).

Everything she'd thought she might feel - anxiety over what could go wrong while she was gone, concern over how the kwami were doing in her absence, and longing for who she'd pictured as the love of her life - wasn't there. It felt completely unlike her, just as it felt unlike Alya to not reply to her messages considering how much she liked to be on her phone.

Abandoning the idea of texting Alya for now, she closed their conversation and idly started browsing her phone. Even still, the weird feeling didn't cease and her hero senses were going off.

Something was wrong, or... maybe right? It wasn't as if she was feeling anything bad, but she felt entirely different than when she was in Paris. It was hard to get a gauge on exactly how she should take it.

Marinette glanced at her parents, catching herself frowning before they could glance back. She looked at her phone, acting like nothing was wrong and idly scrolling through her various apps so as to look busy. In the process, she stumbled upon her gallery, finding her mass of Adrien images inside. It took up a majority of her pictures, and she found herself blushing in embarrassment rather than fondness.

Did she really have this many normally? How much time had she taken getting them?

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, thrown off by just how different she felt. The reaction to seeing Adrien that she'd normally have where she'd lose all focus had virtually disappeared, and the only reason she'd missed it at all was because it gave her an absurd amount of mental clarity concerning how she'd be acting otherwise.

Clarity...

The word brought a particular face to her mind: pink lips, blue eyes, and black hair highlighted blue at the tips. Marinette ran her fingers through her own hair, ruffling it as she tried to piece out how she was feeling. All she knew was that - whatever it was - it was significant and she didn't have Tikki to vent to.

Though perhaps she wouldn’t had much to provide anyway.

A mix of trepidation and curiosity filling her. Switching away from her gallery, she went back to her conversations and pulled up her texts with Luka. Despite her confusion over whatever was happening to her at the moment, she managed a smile at Luka's contact image staring fondly at her.

After a moment of consideration, she typed out:

Hey. Sorry if you're busy. Thought we could talk?

That done, she navigated back to her gallery to look at all her Adrien pictures. She shifted in her seat again, as if it would change things or help her mind adjust to the unfamiliar sensation. It wasn't like looking at Adrien didn't make her feel anything at all, but that feeling could only be described as "normal," like the way she saw him before he'd given her that umbrella.

Before she officially became a ladybug holder who agreed to protect the people of Paris...

Her lips twitched in hesitant thought, her thumb brushing against her screen as she skimmed through the assortment of Adrien pictures. Her brain registered a feeling - or rather, lack thereof - and the foreign emotions encouraged her to act.

She tapped the garbage can icon experimentally, a notification popping up accordingly and asking her if she'd like to delete the picture. She brought the phone closer to her chest, like she felt she was doing something wrong, yet there was only a second of pause before she confirmed the decision.

She watched as Adrien disappeared, a message indicating that the picture had been trashed.

Marinette blinked at the message until it had timed out, bringing her back to the gallery. She was frozen in place, her fingers twitching against the side of the phone as she processed what she'd just done.

Then, she did it again. She tapped on another picture of Adrien, a weird mix of eagerness and interest urging her thumb along as she pressed the garbage can icon again, confirming the decision just as quickly.

Just before the image disappeared, a stray thought said aloud in her mind: black hair and blue eyes would've worked better for an outfit like that.

This time, her body finally moved, a shudder going up her spine as she took in a breath. Her eyes darted over to her parents, knowing how strange this must look to them, but they weren't watching her anyway, meaning the moment was kept firmly in her own personal bubble. It was so odd; normally, someone would've seen her acting off, or laughed and made muttering comments about it.

But nothing was happening, and she didn't know whether to question it or not.

Marinette glanced back at her phone, almost challenging herself as she started to run through the assorted Adrien pictures. She could've thrown them in the metaphorical bin all at once, but instead, she went one-by-one. She waited for something to break, either a sense of regret to settle in over the deletion or for her heart to start fawning over the face on screen, but neither happened.

She was in control, and it felt good. Really, really good.

Part of her felt like she was being ridiculous. The idea of getting some kind of emotional high out of deleting a few pictures sounded stupid, and yet she felt powerful. It was like a veil had been lifted and suddenly she had choices.

If her parents saw her visibly vibrating in her seat, she didn't hear them make mention of it.

The only thing that made her snap out of her rapid thumb movements was a text notification at the top of her screen, and only due to the flash of black, blue, and white. Her lips curved into a smile, originally being pressed together in focus, and she clicked to open her text messages with Luka.

Hey, Marinette. I'm not busy at all. What's up?

She felt warm, knowing that the guy who always made her feel comfortable and happy was on the other line. it was such a shame that they hadn't been able to work it out because of Adrien.

Marinette paused just as she went to reply, those thoughts catching up to her as she remembered that day with Luka underneath the bridge. She'd been so sure that she'd had to break up with him because of Adrien, but as she purposefully tried to recall the memory, something registered like a mental fog clearing in her mind.

Hadn't it actually been her responsibilities as Ladybug that had done it? In fact, that added up alongside all of the other memories of his akumatization; she hadn't been ditching him during their dates out of discomfort or her crush on Adrien, but because of akuma and sentimonsters.

How could she have forgotten? Or rather, how could she have remembered otherwise?

Marinette just barely managed to snap herself out of her trance, her phone having dimmed from inactivity and the sight of her furrowed brows and worried frown staring back at her from the blackened screen. She blinked rapidly, then shook her head to clear herself of the unnerving thoughts.

Lighting her phone back up, she hurriedly typed back as she realized she'd left Luka on read, trying to ignore the way her thumbs shook.

Nothing much.

She hesitated, already seeing him typing back. Guilt burrowed around in her stomach, knowing very well that it was not "nothing" but being unable to properly convey what was going on to him when she didn't even understand it herself.

She typed again, his own typing ceasing to let her add to her comment.

Actually, I've been thinking a bit lately. I'm going to be in London for a while and I'm on the train ride there right now. It's given me some time to myself and it's... weird.

I'm sorry, I know that doesn't make sense.

Even though he hadn't replied, she knew he was taking her seriously as he was typing back.

It makes sense. Background music doesn't work for everyone.

Marinette realized that her shoulders had been tense when they relaxed at his message. She pressed her lips together, feeling vaguely like she didn't deserve him and pushing down the thoughts just as quickly. He'd never approve of that kind of talk.

My head's just been a bit of a mess. Or... not a mess? Things were really foggy but I didn't realize that they were? It's like I'm thinking clearer but I don't know if I like everything that came with that.

What was the phrase? Ignorance is bliss? She had no idea where these changes were coming from, but something had indeed changed and she didn't know the significance of it. She was indeed happy that she felt so in control now over her thoughts on Adrien, but why now? What caused it, and what about her memories?

Would it go away?

Marinette shuddered at the idea, but tried to focus on her conversation with Luka. Having a crisis wasn't going to do her any good, and he was there with her, even if only through text.

I can't know what you're going through, but I think I get it.

-

You do?

-

Yeah. Do you remember my birthday, when everyone heard about my dad being Jagged Stone?

He already continued typing, so she just nodded even if he couldn't see it. She'd only been with Juleka when the reveal had happened, but she imagined it'd been just as much of a shock for her as it'd been for them. She couldn't even imagine when Luka could've learned about it.

Wait--no, she'd already known, actually, hadn't she? He'd been akumatized and had gone after Jagged, and she'd been there when he forced Jagged to tell him the truth about being his father.

Marinette winced at the filling of a gap in her memory that she hadn't realized had been there. Once again, she'd remembered something that she couldn't fathom having forgotten or misremembered, even with how spotty her memory could be under normal circumstances.

She turned towards the back of her seat and the window, trying to isolate herself so it felt like just her, her phone, and Luka. She desperately needed his texts as a distraction.

I'd wanted to know who my dad was for so long, but learning that it was my favorite musician all this time was a lot. I had to redo all the notes I’ve ever written about him, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it for a while.

He kept typing after that, and she merely stroked the side of the phone with her thumb as some form of support, even knowing that he couldn't know about it.

But I'm glad I knew in the end. He's doing his best to make up for all the lost time, and I don't have to go on never knowing what that song would've sounded like.

Their situations weren't exactly the same, but it was enough to reach her deep down. Whatever her situation was, if it really did mean something, she'd rather know it was there than go on never knowing. She hated the idea of being left in the dark, just as she hated being lied to.

As she took a calming breath, she found it in herself to type back.

I'm glad you know too. You deserve people who make you happy, Luka.

-

Thank you, Marinette. You do too, and I hope that whatever you're going through goes at least as well as it did for me.

-

Thanks.

She bit her lower lip at her reply, which felt clipped in tone even though she hadn't meant it that way. She just had too much on her mind and it was hard to think about what emotion was coming across when she was typing to him.

She tapped away at the on-screen keyboard, hopefully before he could think anything in particular about it.

Sorry.

Though she wanted to explain further, she wavered, her legs bending as she curled further in on herself. The conversation had already been so deep and she didn't want to make it worse.

But just as she debated on dismissing her feelings and insisting that he not worry about her, the memories that had been cleared up from before came back to her, reminding her of a warm hug on top of a bridge.

"When you're ready, I'll be here, Marinette."

She inhaled shakily, but steadied herself immediately afterwards, letting the warmth of the words calm her. Luka was there for her and she trusted him.

She was ready.

...I'm scared, Luka. I thought I had my clarity, but I don't. Something's wrong.

Then, almost on cue, the train screeched to a halt, jostling her out of her seat as the lights went off. The simultaneous sound of phones ringing followed soon after.

—————

Marinette held her breath, crouched down in the restroom while she listened closely for the sound of her parents' footsteps. Her throat let out a whine, but she managed to keep it silent enough to where she was sure that no one on the other side of the door would hear it. She'd have to leave eventually or risk being cornered, courtesy of the power being off and the restroom's lock being electronic, but she felt safe enough to pull out her phone.

She also set it on vibrate just in case.

There was a reasonable concern at first that Luka's texts would indicate that he'd fallen victim to the akuma, but what she found when she checked their conversation reassured her.

Marinette!

Is everything okay?

Did the akuma's power reach you? Did they call you too?

Marinette?

The panic in simple letters on a screen made her feel noticed and loved. Keeping enough of her focus on potential footsteps approaching outside the door, she typed out a reply:

Sorry. I had to run from my parents.

I'm okay. What about you?

-

You're alright. I'm so glad.

I'm okay too. I hid somewhere and I doubt anyone can find me.

-

That's good. Be careful.

-

You too.

She took another breath, certain she'd be captured soon if the akuma wasn't taken care of. The train was limited and there weren't many places to go, so unless she could find a blunt object to smash her parents' phones, she was at a loss.

Regardless, Luka was there, her phone vibrating as he added onto his previous text:

I know this isn't the time, and I hate that the akuma cut into the song we were writing, but I'm here for you, Marinette. Whatever's going on, I'll help you figure it out as long as you want me with you.

Her heart fluttered pleasantly, a pink blush even tinting her cheeks. She welcomed it, unlike the fear that'd come with the changed memories. Feeling the way she did for Luka was too natural to be afraid in any way.

Thank you, so much. You're the only one I could trust with something like this.

She meant it. She'd trusted Alya with her identity in a moment of weakness, and even passed the ladybug earrings to her, yet that somehow paled in comparison to the emotions she was choosing to share. Luka would take her seriously, she was sure, even if she came up with the craziest theory in the world for why her feelings and memories were the way they were. He wouldn't doubt her, or laugh, or dismiss her as "Marinette being Marinette."

And as she sat there, completely without a miraculous or any way to get back to Paris without help, she reached up with her free hand and tugged at her earlobe, processing what she could with the information she had as one such theory started to form in her head. The fear from before never quite went away, but the idea of figuring things out with Luka brought her a sense of comfort.

Though perhaps, when she got back to Paris, she would take back her miraculous with a sense of hesitance that she hadn't had before, and there would be some testing that followed after the fact, because there were two things she refused to give up from her experience on the train.

Her sense of freedom and choice, and the feelings for Luka that she can't believe she ever questioned.

Or, if her working theory was correct, that her miraculous had her question.

[kaiaiswriting]

Worry

Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: injuries

Request: heeeey, i hope you’re okay ♥️, may I ask a one shot where the reader is gets injured during one scene and falls into the ground fainted and chris evans (her secret boyfriend) worry so much and after that they decide go public.

A/N: last night, i fell asleep just before posting this :/ anyways, exams are unfortunately coming up, so i’m trying to write as much fics as i can before i go on a study grind :’) + i apologize in advance if i’m inactive in the next few weeks, as i said, i have exams coming up, but hopefully i’ll be much more active afterwards!!

“You sure you can do the stunt? Y’know you can always ask for a stunt double right?” Chris asks as you both stand outside your trailer. It’d become a ritual for both of you to meet right before a shoot, but it had to be in private–you weren’t ready to publicize your relationship with Chris just yet.

“I’m fine, I’ve practiced it a hundred times with Ben,” you respond. Ben’s your stunt coordinator, and having practiced your fight sequence with him numerous times, you were certain that you could do it.

Chris’ face looked worried, and you took both his hands in an attempt to calm him down.

“Chris, I’ll be fine, really, you all do this everyday, so why can’t I do it?”

“Fine, but if you ever feel unsure just tell me or Ben, I’m sure he’ll be fine with you using a double.”

You nod as you give Chris a hug–it was warm and you felt safe in his embrace.

“Y/n, Chris! We need you both on set now!”

A crew member from inside the studio calls for both of you, and with that, you were quick to let go of Chris. He gives you a tender smile and you both begin making your way to the set.

In this scene, your character and Captain America would be fighting Hydra. The scene was set on a destroyed building with rubble and scattered pieces of rock on the ground. Admittedly, you were nervous, scared even, to shoot the scene; you hadn’t gotten enough sleep last night and woke up at 5AM this morning to train for your stunts (did you even eat at all today?)–in short: you were exhausted and tired. Nonetheless you were determined to do your own stunts.

Both you and Chris took your places and he shot you a quick smile that warmed your heart. You didn’t want to worry him, you had to get this stunt right.

“Alright everyone, places!” the director said loudly. The Hydra actors took their places across from you and Chris, and it was now that you felt your heart racing and sweat beginning to form on your palm and forehead.

You were focusing on your breathing, too focused to hear the director’s remarks.

“Okay everyone, quiet on set. And, action!”

You were snapped out of your trance and began running towards the actors across from you. Sprinting was already a challenge in itself, especially on rubble. You felt the energy in your legs drain out, but you didn’t let that stop you.

Your first stunt was to throw a few punches and kicks at an actor–easy enough, right? You approached the actor and began throwing weak punches at his face and kicked his stomach. Once the actor fell to the ground, you continued running through the rubble.

You felt a sharp pain in your stomach, must be because you hadn’t eaten. You curled into your stomach and clenched it tightly to stop the pain. Nonetheless, you pushed yourself to continue running. It was then that you felt light-headed; the exhaustion and pain from everything was enough to blur your vision, causing you to miss a particularly large rock in front of your leg.

Everything happened in a flash: one moment you were running perfectly fine (although, fine is sugarcoating your condition), and the next you tripped against a rock and came tumbling down. Your arms instinctively covered your face to protect yourself from any hard objects that came into contact with you. You felt numerous objects scraping your arms, legs, and bruising your stomach. The pain was, frankly, unbearable given your exhaustion, so when you finally laid on the ground, below a heap of rubble, you were on the verge of fainting.

The director and crew members were the first to notice your fall, and the director was quick to call “cut”. The commotion stopped and numerous crew members went to your aid. Chris was confused as to why everything stopped, but when he saw your body lay on the floor helplessly, he was quick to rush by your side.

All thoughts about your guys’ secret relationship were thrown out of the window as Chris knelt by your side and grasped your cheeks gently.

“Y/n, can you hear me? Are you okay?”

You didn’t respond; you were overwhelmed by the pain and unconsciousness began taking over you. Soon enough, you had passed out.

“Oh my god, she passed out. Someone call a medic!” Chris calls out to the crew members who hurriedly rushed out of the set to call for a medic.

Chris stayed by your side, holding your hands whilst whispering comforting things.

“It’s okay y/n, I’ll be here with you. Please stay with me. Please, please, please.”

Chris was too worried to notice the shocked expression of the director and remaining crew members who were watching. You both hadn’t told any of the producers, directors, or crew members about your relationship, so seeing Chris hold your hands and whisper gently in your ear definitely came as a shock to them.

Soon enough a medic came in the studio and performed a quick check up; the medic concluded that you had passed out from exhaustion, but other than that, you had some bruises and scratches. The director excused everyone from shooting that day, and with that, Chris was quick to carry you back to your trailer. The medic and a few crew members silently followed behind, not knowing how to react.

In your trailer, Chris gently placed you on a couch as the medic placed her bag on the floor. As Chris stroked your arm, the medic began cleaning all visible cuts and covered them with bandaids; she had also asked Chris to lightly press a cold cloth on your face, which helped bring you back to consciousness.

“Y/n? She’s awake!”

The medic darts her head to you and gives you a tender smile.

“Hey y/n, are you feeling fine? Where does it hurt?”

You let out a soft groan and begin telling her about the aches on your arms, stomach, and cheek. The medic asked if you had done anything the day before that could have led to you passing out, and you told her about not getting enough sleep and not eating at all that day. Chris was shocked, mostly worried for your condition, but the medic ensured that with enough rest and food, you’d be back on your feet in no time.

You and Chris thanked the medic and before leaving she threw you another smile.

“You should really thank Chris too, he didn’t leave your side for a second,” the medic said as she left.

You turned to Chris and held his hand.

“I guess I have to thank you too.”

“In all seriousness: Y/n, why did you do the stunt if you knew you weren’t up for it? I told you that if you couldn’t do it, you have to tell someone,” Chris said.

“I- I’m sorry, I just wanted to do it myself. I’m an actress, I need to do stuff like this.”

“But it’s okay to not be able to do it sometimes, especially if you didn’t eat or get enough sleep; your health comes first before anything y/n.”

Chris pulled you into a warm hug, and you wanted to remain in that position for hours.

“You scared me so much y/n, please don’t ever do that again. Please take care of yourself,” Chris says as he rocks you back and forth gently.

“I will Chris,” you say as you hug him back.

That day, Chris stayed by your side, watching you eat and making sure you ate and rested enough. You slept for a good 10 hours and the morning after, you felt refreshed. The director told you that they’d be using a stunt double for your scene, nonetheless, you went to the studio to watch Chris.

You walked out of your trailer and saw Chris waiting outside. After the events of the day before, you and Chris decided that there was no point in hiding your relationship anymore. With that, you both held each other’s hands and walked to the studio. Your entrance earned stares from some crew members, but you were fine with it. Chris gave you a quick kiss and ran onto the set.

“So, looks like we got a new couple on set huh?” the director asks you as you both share a laugh.

“You bet.”

[nyashykyunnie]

Might as well hope on the bandwagon. May I please request a Father Xiao scenarios? Maybe his child can be a half-adeptus like ganyu (Child auto-corrected to Childe when I was typing this xD)

A/N: took me awhile to think of a Xiao hc cuz I was tryna choose between some scenarios AHWHEGW Also SAME, MY PHONE AUTCORRECTS INTO CHILDE ALL THE TIME AHAHAGAGSG AND YES XIAO HAVING A HALF-BLOOD CHILD EEE NGL HE GONNA BE EXTRA PROTECTIVE AHADHJADGS I’m so excited for this ehehh. Also tyvm for the req!!! I hope you enjoy this anon!! Btw this was supposed to be for three charas but I got carried away with xiao so ahah,.... Woops =w=;;

𝙵𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛! 𝕏𝕚𝕒𝕠 x 𝙶𝙽! 𝙲𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍! ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣

.     　﹢　˖    　✦      ¸ .　﹢　 ° 　¸.    ° ˖ ･ ·̩　　 ｡　☆　　　ﾟ ＊ 　 ｡　☆ ✦˖

Having a child, with his own blood running through your veins, you being the spitting image of him- Was the last thing Xiao could ever imagine ever happening to him.

It’s understandable that he was really shocked to know you are his. Xiao is, after all, the Conqueror Of Demons. He is more than used to being in battle, always being on high alert and ready to slash any enemy down since it isone of his duties as the Vigilant Yaksha who protects Liyue.

Xiao was very cautious around you. With your small and fragile body, he feared that even touching you was enough to kill you. The Wangshu Inn keeper had to teach him ‘how’ to hold you because Xiao’s fear of holding you might just make him stay ten feet away from you at all costs.

He watches over you from afar, always ready to strike at whatever dares to bring you harm.

Though, most of the time, the yaksha is always leaving you to Verr Goldet’s care so he can fulfill his duties. It was fine at first- Until Verr had to talk to Xiao about it. He told him that he shouldn’t be too focused  on that job. 

She told him the possibilities of his constant negligence of you, she told him you might grow “Deprived From Fatherly Affection”. Xiao was shocked of course, he didn’t really know that. 

He felt guilty, he was so blinded by not wanting to inflict any form of harm on you, he didnt expect that it’ll inevitably lead you to growing some unwanted mindsets and habits.

Xiao isn’t really one for affection, there’s no need to explain that. Majority of his skills are more on the ‘slaughter’ and ‘exorcise’ expertise.

Regardless, he is not just a protector of Liyue now, he is a ‘father’ now. Specifically your father. This new responsibility isn’t something he will run away from.

Don’t expect much from him though. Xiao is still hesitant to some extent, he’s trying to figure out how he will interact with you.

 Unlike him, you’re fragile. More fragile than glass. He’s afraid of exerting accidental force that will lead him to hurting you. You’re just too small- so small can’t even reach pass his knees(Please this yaksha is just overthinking too much)

Baby steps, that’s what he’ll do. Slow and steady so he wont be too overwhelmed.

He starts off by simply talking to you, maybe even playing with you for a bit with enough begging. Xiao slowly got used to handling you as time went by. Verr was even suprised at one point when she saw Xiao handling you during your tantrums. 

Xiao made good progress with you. He didnt even know that he was unconciously getting attached to you, he didnt know that he adored your presence. He didn’t realize that he gets a little frustrated when he needs to leave you behind. Xiao developed his ‘father instincts’ to such a level to the point that he sometimes wished his Yaksha responsibilties were less demanding.

When you are trouled with nightmares- Xiao will put some stuff to wardoff evil. Though, he also heard that child mortals are more effectively comfoted if they are sung a lullaby, so he’ll do that. Just... Don’t tell anyone else or that will be your last (maybe)

The immortal sometimes even comes home with new clothes since he knew that children grow and he wouldn’t want to see you struggling with the small fit ofyour clothing. He also makes sure to put some spells on them too to ward off evil.

 Xiao unconciously spoils you, his mind always drifting; ‘Maybe they’ll like something like that. Mortal children I’ve seen are fond of those stuff’.  Naturally, he’ll make a way to afford that small gift for you. If he cant, then he’ll just learn how to make it himself.

He loves you, he just doesnt know how to convey that. Being an adepti, being raised as a machine for war- Love wasn’t something he is great at. But even if it’s that, he’ll still strive for you secretly. Xiao will no doubt make the most descreet efforts to adore you. He still doubts himself even after all the progress he’s made in becoming close to you.

“Silk Flowers!” You squeel in delight as you spotted a bouquet of it from afar. You dash off from Xiao’s side, making the adepti startled and call out your name.

But still you were a child, of course you just kept running and running until the ground beneath you rumbled at what seems like caused from footsteps. Your feet wobbled and almost knocked you off of your feeting. Then it stopped, a huge shadow looming over your small figure. You look up only to have the color of your face drained.

“D-Daddy!” You cried out in absolute horror, falling down to the ground. You were terrified, how could you not? Monsters were real, and one of those monsters was about to murder you in cold blood. “Daddy! Help!”

Just at the beast was about to swing it’s flaming axe towards you- The  wind shifted, as if slicing through the air and knocking back the mitachurl.

“How dare such filthy demon dare to even make their presence in front of my child, let alone even dare to strike!” Xiao growled, his eyes flaming gold from raw fury as he walked with the air dancing violently around him. “ I’ll make you pay”

Xiao’s voice was flooded with resentment, his primodial jade radiated as it felt it’s master’s sudden abundance in power. He spun it as his Yaksha mask formed in his face. At the roar of the enemy, Xiao leapt forward, striking the demon in overwhelming speed. He moved so fast it’s too the point the mitachurl wasn’t given any chance to react. But was it done? No, not even a little bit. That demon frightened you to the point your voice faltered in calling him. He has seen you in tears but never to this extent. Xiao was fuming as he plunged down, his anemo spears stabbing the enemy with no hint of sympathy. 

When he finally finished the kill, Xiao’s mask disintegrated and immediately walked to your crying state. He clicked his tounge, feeling a huge pang in his heart as he saw you this disheveled.

“Da-daddy!” You wailed, reaching your arms out for him desperately as your tears clouded your eyes. “Waah!”

He wanted to scold you, he really did. But the sight of you crying like this made the words stuck in his throat. Xiao instead lifted you in his arms, letting you bury your face on the crook of his neck and sob freely. You soaked his shoulder and Xiao didn’t complain, he just rubbed your back to let you know he is there.

“Does anywhere hurt?” His nonlachant voice rung in your ears softly, stealing your attention. “If there is, better tell me now or those wounds will cause  further damage in you.”

“[Y-y/n] is bad.” You hicupped. “[Y/N] is so bad daddy is now ou-ouchie. Daddy now hates [Y-Y/N]”

“Hate? You mortals have odd ways of thinking” Xiao sounded a little rough, making you flinch. “Don’t be ridiculous, I would never bear such hostility towards you. Moreover, I’m not hurt. I’ve lived for thousands of years, pain is something minimal for an adepti such as myself.”

He scoffed.

“On the other hand, your life is counted by only one hand. You have yet to experience what life will truly bring you.” Xiao’s voice started to soften bit by bit as he softly squeezes your small body towards him more “However, I am your father. If darkness decides to crawl at your feet and even when you are frigthened of what’s ahead- Call out my name. I’ll always be there.”

“Da-daddy promises?” You look up to stare at his amber orb. “Daddy will make monsters go bye-bye?”

“Yes” He simply answered. “Now stop your noisy crying, we’re going back to eat.”

He appears cold, his way of talking always straight to the point, but still he loves you. Adeptus Xiao, the guardian yaksha, his power will not simply be used in order to slaughter the darkness creeping around Liyue. With his Vision and might as Alatus, the Golden-Winged King,... He will protect you at all costs and raise you no matter how he is troubled regarding his difficulty in making much of emotions.

You are one his greatest gifts, a treasure he will sincerely hold in his heart forevermore. It doesn’t matter if his karmic binds attack him, he will venture out of it for you. 

A/N: AIGHHTT AAAA ITS MY FIRST TIME WRITTING FOR XIAO HNNN, Did I do good??? AAAA I DUNNO AHDKSGF. I hope you all liked it hngghhhh ;___; Also I’m sorry for being inactive a lot AAAAA, school is starting to get mre and more demanding. I have more hcs upcoming so dw! I wont end up completely turning into a dead ghost!

[thefanficmonster]

Corpse Infested

Corpse Husband & Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Mentions of dysfunctional family, Family problems, Swearing

Genre: Humor, Comfort, Platonic fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: When your friend disappears for a long time, seemingly having lost interest in what fueled the most passionate fire in their life, you cannot not worry about them. Even if you wanna give them space, you will reach out, you will offer your help. You will tell them they always have you to rely on and talk to.

Requested by Anon. Hi dear! I’m really sorry it’s taken me so long to complete and post your request, but here it finally is! Hope you come across it and if you do I hope you enjoy the read! Love, Vy ❤

For me, it’s never hard to find things to do. I’ve constantly got things on my mind and tasks to tend to, keeping me occupied and my mind focused at all times. I think that comes with living in a home as dysfunctional as this one. I honestly can’t recall a time when my parents got along nor can I think of a time where there was at least one second of peace while the two are both present in the house. It’s always a warzone up there. I’m saying up there because I tend to live out of the basement of their home. I know living in your parents’ basement is considered a peak loser point, or the bottom of the bottom, but you’d have to believe me when I say - I wasn’t always like this. In fact, I only recently came back to this hell-hole and boy do I regret it. I mean, it was a decision forced upon me by circumstances. Trust me, I tried every other option there was. When my dorm was to be closed down and demolished, we were given a notice to start planning our next move about a month early. You can bet I immediately started looking at places but my very tragic and miserable budget didn’t allow such a purchase. No rent was adequate for me and my near-empty wallet so my second option was moving in with my best friend who was also not in the greatest of situations but I thought I’d give that a shot too.

Spoiler alert: it didn’t work out. She lived in a tiny apartment with her boyfriend and his best friend at the time, so four people in one apartment was a nightmare. Still a lesser nightmare than this one but a nightmare nonetheless. Some unwanted and downright traumatizing events chased me out of that place after barely managing to pack my stuff. Therefore, finding myself on the streets again, I had no other option other than the obvious and least liked one: moving back in with my parents.

Making money during my first year of college hasn’t been easy. Working two jobs at once and also streaming video games on the side was what my time was filled with all throughout the first semester but then this damn pandemic started and now ruined everything for me. I had things going for me, I was slowly getting my life together and now it has all fallen apart yet again. The places I worked at closed down due to quarantine and I haven’t been able to steam, not only cause I’d be the victim of my parents’ comments but also cause my terrible home life would be exposed to all my fans and viewers. It’s not like I could cancel out the commotion going on right above my head, it’s a livestream and this house’s walls are cardboard thin meaning all the arguing I hear almost 24/7 will serve as background noise for my streams.

I haven’t reached out to my friends or fans to inform them of this which I feel slightly guilty about but I’m really not looking forward to having to lie to them, just as much as I’m not looking forward to having to tell them the truth so instead I’ve picked silence which is probably either worrying them or driving them insane. Either way, I’ll make my comeback soon.

Well....not very soon by the looks of it...

I have to gather the money, then I have to find a place, then comes the packing, moving out of here, moving into the new place...oh God, there’s so much to it that I don’t even wanna think about. Just that thought that I’ll be inactive for that long makes my stomach turn. Streaming’s where I’ve been channeling all my negative emotions, turning them into something positive and entertaining with the help of my friends.

Speaking of my friends, I should probably put emphasis on how amazing they are. Basically the older siblings I’ve always wished I had. I’m the baby of the group, the eighteen year old freshman in college, powering through life the best they can cause they are constantly getting tripped up by inconvenient occurrences such as this one for example. I tend to have the gang poke fun at me quite frequently - all lighthearted and with good intentions obviously - but they are also the ones to get super defensive if anyone gets the balls to talk shit about me. They’d never allow me to be the victim of any smack talk or online rumors and ‘cancel culture’ or whatever the hell people will come up with to leave others restless and wondering if they did something shady a decade ago. Well, to be fair, I didn’t even know about the concept of social media a decade ago and I’ve never been one to post much but I still have a protection squad in case anyone decides to come after me.

Little do they know the people I need protecting from are the very people that are supposed to protect me - my parents. Luckily, they don’t venture into to basement very often if at all and I have my own exit to the outside world so I don’t have to run into them unless I absolutely have to. The only time I emerge to the surface of the house - aka the ground floor - I do so to leave my share of rent money on the dining table and I usually do it when they aren’t home or when they’re asleep - that happens often with how many bottles they each knock back on the daily.

*sigh*...at least I don’t have to talk to them, right?

Anyhow, remember how I mentioned I always have things to do? Well, right now I’ve tasked myself with rifling through the large boxes containing random stuff I found in one of the basements down here to see if there’s anything I could possibly sell online. For starters, I’d like to hope there aren’t any severed body parts in here because this was one shady-ass basement before I moved in and un-creeped it a bit so I wouldn’t have to become an insomniac due to the paranoia of there being a homeless person down here with me or some paranormal entity. Regardless, old basements tend to be, apart from haunted, also filled with junk no one would find valuable despite it actually being worth something after all. That’s basically what I’m hoping to find at the moment.

As I dig through the contents of the first box, the YouTube playlist I have put on on my phone cuts off causing me to furrow my brows in confusion for a second before my ringtone pierces the silence the lack of music created.

I quickly mute the ringing and take a look at the Caller ID to see a name I never thought would pop up on my screen as an incoming call - Corpse. I, as well as many of our friends, know that he’s not the biggest fan of talking to people on the phone so this is rather surprising. Still, I pick up the call in case it’s not a mistake and an odd chance that it’s somethin urgent cause Lord knows Corpse doesn’t call people willy-nilly. 

Thank God it’s quiet up there at the moment.

“Hello?“ I try my best to cover up the confusion in my voice but I can only assume I didn’t do the best job considering Corpse replies with a slightly awkward chuckle.

“Surprised you, didn’t I?“ He asks, getting my cheeks to redden a bit, “You can’t blame a guy for calling after up and disappearing on him and on the whole internet. Where’ve you been?“

I open my mouth to respond when I hear the sound of glass breaking a shouted curse from upstairs.

Oh for fuck’s sake!

“Um...you know, places?“ I’m aware the answer isn’t only nonsensical but also sounds more like a question, but I can hardly focus on that right now. I’m too buys praying to an entity I don’t fully believe in for the situation above to not escalate.

“Uh, is everything ok over there? Where even are you right now?“ The teasing tone to his voice is all but gone at this point, replaced with deep concern, having obviously heard the commotion that did the exact opposite of what I prayed for - escalated.

“Y-yeah, it’s ok. It’s just another Thursday, you know.“ I attempt a small laugh but it’s blatantly miserable, “I moved back in with my parents when they announced the quarantine so that’s where I’m at now. They’re not the quietest of folks as you can tell so...“

“I FUCKING HATE YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT! I HOPE YOU DIE“

Oh crap, here we go.

“...So I can’t really stream a lot...or at all.“ I mutter, cringing with all my might, “But it’s only temporary! I’ll get back in the saddle as soon as I find another place to stay.“ I don’t dare mention how long that’s gonna take me, it’ll be too disappointing and depressing for the both of us. “So yeah...um...thanks for showing concern but there’s really nothing to worry about. I’m ok, everything’s ok, things are just...a bit off the rails, but I’ll fix em no problem. Like I always do!“ I attempt to sound as cheerful as possible with little success due to the overwhelming anger I feel towards those people upstairs and the gut-wrenching nostalgia for the world of streaming I can no longer be a part of because of them. Actually, I put the blame first on the pandemic and second on my parents - if it wasn’t for Covid I’d probably still be in my dorm!

“Hey...um, I think I know an affordable place where you can take up residence. Only if you want to, of course.“ He sounds hesitant but I easily overlook that as excitement bursts throughout my entire being at the sound if an escape being offered to me just like that. Had I known I’d find the solution to my problem in the very people I spent time avoiding because I was afraid of their pity, sympathy and judgement.

“Oh please, it could be a rat and roach infested shoe box and I’d go running to it. How much is rent?“ I ask through a gasp of hurried laughter that’s a result of my inability to contain said excitement. Listen, I’ve been sitting here in Hellsburg for three months now and haven’t gotten a proper shuteye during that whole period, whatever Corpse is offering has to be better than this misery.

“Rent can be discussed once you move in...“ He trails off, “And it’s not rat nor roach infested but there’s a slight issue...“

“Which is?“ I’m honestly expecting the worst: in a bad neighborhood; faulty wiring with a high chance of being electrocuted; faulty piping with a high chance of flooding; people have died there; things get randomly moved around in the middle of the night etc. However, I don’t voice any of them to avoid getting laughed at for my wild imagination.

“Well, uh, it’s corpse infested.“ He says a little awkwardly, causing me to let out an inaudible sigh.

So my ‘people have died there’ guess was on point, huh?

“People have died there, huh? Well, I can turn a blind eye to that as long as I don’t find their bodies in the closet or meet their spirits at 3AM.“ I attempt to joke, now second-guessing my eagerness to accept the offer.

Corpse bursts out laughing his ass off at my statement, getting me to furrow my eyebrows in confusion and wonder what I said was so funny - it was a poor attempt at a joke, it in no way deserves that sort of reaction, barely a chuckle in my opinion.

“You’re golden, Y/N, I swear.“ He says once he forces the laughter to subside, “I meant corpse infested as in Corpse Husband infested.“ He breaks out in another fit as my brain slowly starts connecting the dots.

Oooohh he’s asking me to go live with him

“Wait. Wait, wait, wait, hold up for a sec. Are you aware of what you’re offering me? I mean, we’ve never met IRL, you barely know me and....and for all you know I could be the serial killer in this situation!“ I have no idea why I’m pushing my luck, don’t ask. I just don’t want him to make a decision he’ll later regret, I guess. “Like, I could kill you in your sleep!“

“Would you?“ He asks confidently, silently stating he already knows the answer.

I roll my eyes, “Of course not! But...” He cuts me off.

“Great, the offer stands on my end. I’m not a noisy nor nosey roommate so I suggest you start packing. If you choose to live in that hell-hole over living with me, I’m sorry but I’ll be hella offended, just so you know.“

Corpse sounds like he’s about to hang up on me, a decision already made, so I hurry to stop him. “Wait! What about rent?”

“Fuck the rent, pack your bags.“ And just like that, despite my efforts, he hangs up on me.

Well...this is a chance of a lifetime that I know refusing would lead me to not only remain stuck here but also put me in the hugest loser bin. There’s also the fear of being Corpse’s burden which I’ll try my best not to be - I mean, I’m a super independent person and Lord knows that if this offer came any other time or from any other person, I would’ve declined asap, no discussion.

But streaming

But sleeping properly

But having a normal life again

Yeah those are most certainly the reasons I get up and go into the closet in search on my emptied suitcase. Time to fill it up again, I guess. This time with a smile on my face and excitement fueling each and every movement of mine.

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[yer-cute-when-you-scream]

Say My Name~ Park Jaehyung

WARNINGS: Smut, SoftDom!Jae, Sub!Reader, Sir Kink, Overstimulation, Body Worship, Unprotected Sex (wrap it up), Dirty Talk, Choking, Praising, Facesitting, Some Fluff, Multiple Orgasms  (I’m probably forgetting something)

A/N: For the anon that requested an Overstim scenario with Jae, I hope you like it! Also, I am working on my Sales!Jinyoung Smut and I have been really trying to make it perfect cause I really like what I got! I’m sorry for being so inactive guys, moving houses took a lot out of me ugh

I was in the kitchen when I heard the front door open, I peeked my head around the corner and saw Jae. He had just gotten home from the studio. His flannel hung loose on him and the few buttons at the top were undone, his dark hair was a little messy but he pulled it off very nicely.

”Hey babe, how was your day?” I ask smiling over to him, I walk back into the kitchen and open the fridge to grab a water. I hear footsteps nearing as I shut the refrigerator, I feel him wrap his arms around my waist and bury his head into my neck. 

”It was fine, I just missed you today,” he confesses.

 I chuckle and set my water down before turning around, I wrap my arms around him and say, ”I missed you too, Jae.” He pulls back and I see his face, his eyes are dark with lust and his lips were plump, I leaned up and brushed my lips against his. 

”I see, you missed me, huh?” I teased, I pressed my lips against his and he lets out a soft groan then deepens the kiss. His hand went to the back of my head and held me to his lips, his hand entangling into my hair, his tongue sliding across my lower lip asking for entrance. 

I part my lips and let him have control over the heated kiss that was taking place in our kitchen, loving the way he moves in sync with my tongue. 

He could bring me to my knees just with the way he kisses me, it's just a simple intimate gesture to share with your loved one, but Jae makes it seem so much more than that. When he holds me into these passionate kisses, I feel so secure and protected, his dominance in small things like this makes me crumble. 

He pulls back from the kiss, one hand in my hair, the other hand cupping my cheek with his thumb swiping over my lips. ”Are you going to be my good girl?” he asks, moving his hand to my neck and trying to hold himself back from taking me right there. I nod to him with a soft smile, finding myself slipping into my sub headspace, 

”Yes, Sir.”

I feel a heat spread through my core as his hands travel down so he can grope my ass. ”Jump.” I wrap my legs around his waist and he takes us into the bedroom, he lays me down on the bed and holds my hands down while he places kisses down my neck. I softly sigh and close my eyes as he begins to mark me. 

”I came across that photo you sent me a month ago, the picture of you in that lilac lingerie. Got worked up thinking about that night and how beautiful you looked,” he mumbled against my neck. 

He pulled my shirt over my head then unhooked my bra, flinging them across the room before he started marking down my chest. He continued to hold my hands down so I couldn't move them, I whined and clenched my hands into fists as he started teasing my nipple.

”Please, Sir, I need to touch you. Let me at least take your flannel off,” I begged, he smirked and let go of my hands. My hands went to undo the rest of his buttons while his hands went to my breasts, pinching my nipples when he wasn't massaging them. His lips were on mine once again as I finally slid the flannel off him, my hands roaming his chest and soon going behind his neck to hold him close to me. 

Now he is obviously the dominant one in the relationship, so of course, he has rules for me; that I never break. God help me if I ever break a rule, he's never had to punish me before so I have no idea what his punishments are like.

Regardless, there was one rule that he took away rather quickly, and that was touching or grabbing him without his permission. One night, I was so whiny and needy, I begged to touch him for so long, so he let go of my hands that he held down and gave me permission. 

I had immediately wrapped my arms around him, holding him close to me, scratching down his back, arms, and chest, clinging onto him like a koala while he made me cum. He took that rule away after that because he loved it so much, he felt how I trembled against his chest and realized how much pleasure I was in by the scratches I left. 

He started grinding his bulge against my clothed core, I softly moan and hold onto him tighter. ”I want you so bad, Sir,” I whisper after pulling away from the kiss. My body felt like it was on fire, I needed him so badly and the way he’s grinding on me right now only made me needier. One of his hands left my chest and traveled downwards, caressing my stomach in such a way that filled me with excitement.

”Your body is so beautiful.” 

He slips his hand under my shorts and begins rubbing my clit, I arch my back and mewl at his touch, finally getting some relief. His movements were slow at first, but he picked the pace up quickly and not long after pushed two fingers into me, curling them to hit my g spot. 

Jae leans down to me, kissing my ear and whispering sweet yet sinful things to me, I tug at his hair and whimper, already feeling my high approaching, I clench around his fingers and he stops his movements and leaves my shorts. The feeling melted away and I look up to him and whine, 

”I’ve been so good for you, Sir! Please, don't stop.” 

”I know you have, Princess, and I'm so proud of you. Don't worry, you'll get your relief,” he begins, sitting up from the bed before placing gentle kisses down my stomach. He starts pulling my shorts off and leaves a kiss right above my heat, he rolls onto his back and motions for me to sit on my knees.  

”I just want you to get off from my mouth, now come here.”

I sit up and he helps me position myself over his face, my legs are slightly shaking but it's mostly from anticipation. I begin to lower myself but he was too impatient, he grabs my hips and jerks me down to his face, immediately eating me out like a starved man. 

I lewdly moan out and roll my hips against his mouth, loving the way he sucks on my clit and swirls his tongue around my folds before plunging it into me. I feel my high coming back and he can tell by the look on my face, as he continues to tongue fuck me, his hand leaves my hip and goes to my clit, circling it fast with his thumb. 

I throw my head back and release all onto his tongue, my legs are trembling as he licks me clean. I start to move off of his face but he grips my hips tighter and starts devouring me again, I still hadn't fully recovered from the orgasm and I yelped, my core was so sensitive and Jae showed no mercy.

”W-wait, I'm still s-sensitive!” I cried out. It was all so intense, he seemed to not care as he still continued. My hands were in his hair and I tried to keep my body up, thankfully he still had a good grip on me. ”Taste so fucking good,” he murmurs against me. 

I already felt my next high approaching, I squirmed above him while moaning out from the pleasure, the orgasm washed over me like a wave, and my legs were shaking furiously now. ”Look at you, Princess, you're dripping all over me,” he points out. This time he licks me clean and helps me off of him, laying me down on the bed and hovering over me.

He smashes his lips against mine and grinds into me, ”Fuck, say my name, Princess,” he groans while leaving my lips, kissing my neck down to my breasts. ”Jae,” I gasp as he attached his mouth to my nipple. He groans against my nipple at the sound of his name off of my lips, sucking and nibbling it softly before he crawls back up to me. 

I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him closer, ”Jae, please,” I whine while trying to rub against him. He smirks and pushes my hips down, unbuttoning his pants and tossing them, along with his underwear, to the side. 

He takes his dick and begins rubbing it up and down my slit, teasing my entrance slowly before hitting my clit with it, after what seemed like an eternity and me whining for him, he finally pushed into me. 

A pornstar-like moan leaves my mouth, I arch my back as he plunges into me at a quick and steady pace, grabbing onto his arms and pulling him closer to me. The feeling of him hitting my g spot is so intense, he knows my body so well and he loves showing it off. 

I remember that time we stayed up all night, trying out various positions and things such as choking, edging, toys, etc. He already knew what he liked, but he wanted to know what I liked. He told me how he wanted to be the only one that could fulfill my fantasies and desires, and he's doing an amazing job at it. 

I kissed his neck before I began to suck it, leaving little marks all over. His moans were deep, his hands were on my hips and gripping them tightly. I scratched down his arms and let my head fall to the bed, ”S-shit, Jae,” I whimper underneath him. 

”What is it, Princess? Does it feel good?” 

His smirk was so devilish. ”You’re taking my dick so well, such a good girl.” he praised into my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I clench around him as I feel my orgasm coming, ”Cum for me, Princess,” he moans deeply into my ear. I hold onto him as I fall apart, leaving scratches down his back as my body twitches, ”J-Jae,” I moan to him before letting myself fall back with my head to the side. 

He slows down his thrusting and softly grabs my chin, turning me to face him, ”So fucking gorgeous,” he groans as he picks up his pace again. I choke on air from the sensitivity, looking up at him with doe eyes ”I’m too s-sensitive!” I cry, clutching onto his body. 

He chuckles darkly and pushes me back down on the bed, holding my hands down and continues to pound into me. I cry out and arch my back once again, curling my toes as I start to feel yet another orgasm.

”Does my Princess want to cum all over my dick again? I bet you would fucking love that, wouldn't you?” he purrs, biting his lip as he watches my body twitch. I nod my head furiously with imploring eyes, ”Please, S-sir, I want to cum all over your dick agai-Fuck! J-Jae,” I beg, moaning his name out at the end. 

He moved his hand to my neck, gripping it and squeezing the sides, ”Then cum.” My eyes roll to the back of my head, my free hand goes to his arm and scratches down it, the feeling was like ecstasy and even though I was extremely sensitive, I yearned for more. 

The moaning that was leaving my mouth was high pitched, it sounded so innocent to Jae and he craved more of it. ”You look so fucked out, Princess,” he pauses and pulls out of me, proceeding to flip me onto my stomach, ”I think you can handle a few more.” 

He makes me cum at least 4 more times, at one point he came in me and switched back to using his fingers and mouth while he waited for his erection to come back. The feeling in my core is so intense, I'm begging him for a break at this point to calm down, 

”Please, Sir, I can't take anymore, ” I whine, he's hovered over me and he is holding my face in his hand. ”One more, Princess.” He lines himself up to my entrance and pushes in, pounding into me so hard as he holds onto my hips. 

I'm shaking beneath him, biting my lip and clawing at his back, he brings his two fingers to my mouth and I suck on them, locking eyes with him as I do so. ”Such a sinful act to suck on my fingers, and yet, you make it look so innocent,” he groans, I inch my hand down his arm to his hand, taking his two fingers and dragging them across my lips before continuing to suck them, I know that drives him wild.

His other hand goes to my clit and rubs it furiously with his thumb, I start moaning desperately around his fingers, wanting to feel that blissful release. My eyes start tearing up from the intensive pleasure and I clench around him, ”Look at you, so desperate, I fucking love this look so much,” he groans, closing his eyes from the pleasure, 

”Cum with me, Princess.” 

I let go for the last time, pulling him down and kissing him, I mewl against his lips and hold onto him tightly as we ride out the euphoric feeling. My body is shaking against his, the lewd noises I'm making are whiny and loud, Jae watches me writhe in pleasure and gently wipes the tears from my face. 

I feel him release in me and we both collapse in each other's arms, ”That was amazing, you looked so beautiful, Princess.” He kisses my forehead and we start to cuddling, our chests pressed together as we stared at one another and basked in the afterglow. 

His hair was sticking to his forehead do to the sweat, his lips were still as plump as ever, but his eyes weren't as dark as they were before. His eyes were soft and loving, his dominant ambiance always stays, but in this moment, it's not in a sexual way. Just a protective and caring way. 

”Say my name...I don't have a reason for it, I just really want to hear you say it,” he whispers to me, his voice was soft as he caressed my face. I lean into him and kiss him tenderly before whispering back to him, 

”Jae.”

[petri808]

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30-Epilogue

*TW: cutting, therapy, break down. a little longer then usual at 2500 words

The therapist greeted the couple as they walked in and sat down on the couch. “Thank you for allowing Natsu to sit in today, Lucy. I don’t want you to think of this as a couples counseling per se, because you’re still my primary client. But I feel that him being here to understand your struggles, as well as his, and being able to express them in a safe environment, will help in your healing process. And thank you Natsu for agreeing to this.”

He sat forward a bit, ready to engage. “Anything to help Lucy.”

“I’d like to start with your homework Lucy, has there been any progress in trying to write out your feelings? Remember, it’s okay if you’re still struggling with that, there’s no judgment here.”

“Not... really...” Lucy fidgeted with the hem of her sweatshirt. “Every time I try to, I-I get too... I start to cry, and the panic rises— I fail at it every single damn time and that makes me feel even worse.”

“You’re not failing. Let’s reword that to struggling and recognize that simply making an attempt is the first step, a very important one to be proud of.”

“Maybe I was just kidding myself all along about writing. Maybe it’s because I wasn’t any good in the first place. It was all in my head.” Lucy could see the frown on Natsu’s face from her words, but that’s how she feels now. There was a time she thought she was a decent writer, maybe not publishing quality yet, but she truly enjoyed it regardless and now, a blank page is all she could muster.

“Natsu,” the therapist directs her question to the man. “It seems you’re unhappy with her statement. Would you say that Lucy’s a good writer? Honest answer.”

“Yeah,” he shrugged, “I mean I’m no expert, but the stuff I’ve seen is pretty good. I definitely couldn’t pull them off.”

“Lucy would you call Natsu a liar?”

The blonde paused, annoyed and offended. She wanted to say yes, only because she didn’t want to agree, but then it wouldn’t be true. Natsu was giving his honest opinion and she couldn’t deny it. “No,” Lucy breathed out. “Look I get it. You’re trying to tell me it’s all in my head, right? It’s just the pain talking, and I’ll get better, and I’ll get back into writing just like before.�� Anger had slowly begun to prickle the hairs on the back of her neck the longer she clung to the dissociation. “I-I’m not an idiot! I know this is all stupid shit in my brain! I just can’t stop it!”

“I’m sorry, I pushed you too hard, let’s go back a step here. No one is saying you’re an idiot. On the contrary, you’re very intelligent. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t be recognizing that it’s all in your head, and that recognition is how the healing starts. My role, today with Natsu’s help, is to bring that to the forefront. Bring it out into the open, because sometimes hearing it out loud has a different effect on how we process the information.”

“I don’t get it...”

The woman sat back in her chair in thought for a brief second. “When we think about things just in our head, versus saying it out loud, it triggers different parts of our brain. What studies have found is that talking out loud stimulates... rational... erm, reality I guess is a better term. It becomes more real to us.”

“Huh.” So, what, Lucy rolled her eyes at the suggestion. True or not, she didn’t want to agree, because her mind was still in such a strong state of denial. “I still don’t accept it. It sounds stupid.” Maybe it was just her annoyance talking, but the therapist was getting on her nerves. Lucy knew the woman was just trying to help, but her irrational side didn’t want to deal with any of this. The pain sucked, but so did the treatment. She just wanted to stay in her room, in the dark, away from prying eyes. Surprisingly to Lucy, the therapist didn’t even flinch and the gleam in the woman’s eyes almost looked sadistic in that moment.

“Lucy, I know you know it’s not stupid. That’s just your mind imagining the wrong things, which is why you need to talk about it out loud, so you can hear yourself and how wrong it all sounds.”

Ugh! She was so tired of being told what she is, what she should be thinking, and the condescending tone she wrongly assumed from the therapist triggered an explosion. All the anger she felt about herself was transferred to the therapist in an instant. “I’m wrong?!” Lucy jumped to her feet, her anger crackling through. “No shit! Lady, I’m fucked up!! You want me to talk? Fine! I hate this! I hate everything! It’s all falling the fuck apart and I feel like I’ve been tied to the damn train tracks! Everything I’ve worked so hard for is slipping away! Three years of college being washed down the drain! How the fuck do I catch up now?! I’m so behind! AARRRGHH!!! I-I don’t even wanna get out of bed anymore! I hate myself— hate what I’ve become a-and that makes me even more fucking depressed! And my friends...” Lucy dropped back onto the couch as her shaking hands flew up to cover her face and the dam of tears finally broke loose in a cascade down her cheeks. She cried long, and deep for several minutes, chest heaving and inconsolable.

In that moment, Natsu sat frozen, his eyes swinging back and forth to the therapist and his girlfriend unsure of what to do. Should he move to comfort Lucy? The therapists inaction seemed to suggest the answer was no. It made him furious, yet... she was the professional... before he could make a decision, Lucy finally uncovered her face and look dead at her therapist. Almost forgetting him all together.

“My friends, seeing the looks on their faces...” Lucy dug her fingers into the fabric of her pants in an effort to ground her unraveling mind. “It hurts so fucking much! I must be getting on Levy’s nerves, she didn’t sign up to be my nurse, a-and Natsu, he’ll surely get tired of a basket-case of a girlfriend. I can’t blame him if he left me, I’d leave me too. It’s all just falling apart—” Her chest heaved in a heavy sigh. “I can’t see a way out anymore.”

Seeing the whites of Lucy’s knuckles the harder she clenched onto her leg and seeing the heavy breathing similar to that night in the ambulance. Natsu feared that Lucy was heading towards a panic attack. Wanting to reassure her, Natsu reacted this time and reached up from his seat, quickly grabbing her arm to gain her attention. “Lucy, I’m not—.”

But Lucy screamed and yanked her arm back, face grimacing in pain. “Tsss—Owww!!”

“leavi—” Natsu pulled back immediately. “Oh, shit! I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to! Did I grab you too hard?!” He didn’t think so, but based on her reaction, maybe he had.

“N-No,” she cradled her arm, turning to shield it from him. “You didn’t, I’m fine, it just caught me by surprise.” Lucy quickly brushed it off for fear of requiring an explanation. “Really. S-Sorry, I-I’m probably just too flustered.”

But that explanation didn’t satisfy Natsu. Lucy’s yelp was clearly pain related if buttressed by the fact she continued to hide it. “You’re lying to me,” he reached out, “I’m not mad, just please tell me the truth because it’s obvious there’s something wrong with your arm.”

“N-No, I’m not,” she tried to act like it was true. “See,” she waved it as if showing it was fine. “Nothing’s wrong...” till she accidentally hit it again and flinched, biting her lip just in time to stifle a scream. But she knew in an instant that she’d been caught.

His eyes and tone softened in an effort to lower her inhibitions. “Yes, there is.” Natsu took her arm and started to pull up on the sleeve of her sweater.

Lucy instinctively turned her head away. She didn’t want to see his reaction to the bandage around her arm. Even when he continued to speak, questioned what was underneath it, she answered in one worded responses without looking. But at his gasping sound, her eyes closed in shame. She could see what he saw all from behind her eyelids, all the horizontal cuts running across her left arm. The red, angry lines in varying stages of healing. She kept most of it grouped around the middle of her arm between the wrist and elbow crook. At first, she’d tried what that EMT had done, merely jabbing her arm with a pen or digging her nails into the skin. But it wasn’t enough, so she’d moved onto cutting. It had started out small, just a couple of lines were enough to silence the horrid voices in her head, but like a junky’s tolerance, Lucy had to keep cutting, more and more, deeper, just to feel the same numbing results.

“Is this what I think it is?” Natsu’s shaky voice questioned with moisture filling his eyes. “Oh, Lucy, why didn’t you tell me it was this bad.” Now he knew why she’d started wearing long sleeves even when the weather was warm.

“I’m sorry... I didn’t want anyone to know... but it was the only thing making the voices stop.”

Without another word, Natsu pulled a surprised Lucy into a tight hug, tears of his own spilling. “No, I’m sorry, it’s my fault this is happening to you. I should have dealt with Touka long ago. I should have protected you better. This is on me, but Lucy I’m never gonna let you go, I won’t ever leave you because of this. We’re gonna get through this together. I swear on my life, we’re gonna get through this together. Do you believe me?? Please, tell me you believe me?”

“I do...” she did. The man wore his heart on his sleeve. It was a trait Lucy found most endearing, so how could her heart not accept his words? They sat there in an embrace while time stood still, and a small measure of relief fell over her. It wasn’t much, but it was a glimmer of hope, an ember, and one she hadn’t felt in a long time. This man who’d caged her on that train and captured her heart, she could easily pin all of her pain onto him, but he could also be her salvation. His strong arms wrapped around her broken frame made the scary world fall away, to remind her how much more she yearned to stay within it.

Once he felt Lucy’s body relax, Natsu pulled back, wiping away her tears as well as his own. “Is this the only area?” He gestured at her arm without judgment. And when she nodded, he let out a sigh of relief.

Now that the moment was waning, the therapist who’d been waiting patiently and observing spoke up. She offered the anxiety medications again to Lucy and with Natsu’s gentle coaxing, the blonde finally agreed to it. It couldn’t hurt right? If they didn’t work, she’ll just stop taking them. She didn’t want to see the anguish in Natsu’s eyes anymore, especially now that she realized how much he was internalizing and struggling alone with. He was in just as much pain as she was, so it was time they both do what they could to heal, together.

As they were about to leave, Natsu paused and questioned the doctor. “I have a question. I just realized, even though today was a big episode... Lucy didn’t have a panic attack. Why is that?”

The blonde looked at her boyfriend before her eyes landed on the therapist with an expectancy of an answer. She hadn’t realized that either. Shouldn’t her outburst have triggered one?

“I’m glad you asked,” the woman smiled. “Panic attacks are often triggered by suppression. When you’re trying to hold in your emotions, refusing to let it go, and not show it, but today Lucy let it out. She didn’t hold back so there was no need for her body to react physiologically.” She reached out and placed a gentle hand on Lucy’s shoulder. “Sometimes a good cry and scream goes a long way. Please remember that.”

It was quiet on the taxi ride back to Lucy’s apartment. Not an uncomfortable silence, but maybe just enough had been said in the hour long therapy session that they both still needed time to process it all. Despite her breakthrough, she knew it was still a long battle ahead. The poor coping skills she’d latched onto now needed to be reversed, and frankly she didn’t know if she could do it alone. Of course, she could ask Levy... and the woman did deserve to hear the truth going on... but Lucy really didn’t want to put that kind of pressure on her best friend. Levy had done so much for her already and as much as she appreciated it, it also contributed to her emotional pain. She glanced down at her hand held so tightly by Natsu and wondered... no... The man was struggling as well, so to add hers into his mix, is that really fair? But by that same token, their pain was also a shared one. If there was anything to take away from the session is that perhaps it is together, they’ll better find the end of the rainbow.

Once they arrive at the building and get out of the taxi, Natsu started walking towards it. Lucy tugged back to stop him. “Lucy?”

“Before we go in...” her voice lowers, hesitancy brimming in her tone. “I have a question to ask.”

“Of course, anything.”

“I can’t—, don’t want to do this alone anymore. But I also don’t want to put that kind of burden on Levy.”

“Lucy,” he pulled her hand up, clasped between his palms to his lips where he kissed the fingers gently. “I will do whatever you need me to do.”

She sighed. “Can I move in with you? A-At least until I get control of the panic attacks and the... the thing?” Her eyes flit to her arm rather than say the words aloud. “I know this would intrude on Gray, but I would feel much safer.”

Natsu paused for a second in thought. “I don’t think Gray will mind. I certainly don’t.” He smiled. “We’ll be there for each other.”

“Are you sure? Because there’s still a few things I haven’t mentioned like nightmares. I-I don’t wanna freak you guys out.”

“A promise is a promise, and when I said I’ll do anything, I meant it. Will it be scary, probably, I’m not gonna lie, but I’m willing to do whatever I need to get us through this.”

Lucy’s eyes gloss over, but a tiny smile ticks up at the corners of her lips. “Thank you, Natsu.”

He smiled back, “I’m the one who should be thankful.”

“For what?”

“For not dumping me. As much you’d worried, I’d leave you, I was deathly afraid you’d leave me. I brought this on us, so I wouldn’t blame you from running away.”

“Oh, Natsu.” This time a true smile finally graced Lucy’s face. “I’m not going anywhere either.”

[lyssismagical]

15 or 94 for the angst/fluff prompts ✨💙

15 – “You betrayed my trust”

94 – “Don’t you give up on me”

 {TW for Car Crash}

“You can’t just do that!” Peter shouts, ripping off his mask to stare Tony down. He’s pissed and he’s not the starstruck kid he once was, too scared to step in the wrong direction around Tony, Tony’s too much of a father-figure now that Peter will show how pissed he is.

“I know what I said, kid, but I couldn’t let you do that,” Tony says, as calm as he can, but he’s obviously angry about this too. “You would’ve gotten yourself killed out there.”

Peter rolls his eyes, crossing his arms. “That’s not true and you know it. I know I used to be this stupid kid in a onesie to you, but I’ve learned how to take care of myself now. I don’t need you babysitting me.”

“I’m not babysitting, kid. I’m just watching out for you.”

“If you were watching out, you’d still be home, watching the fucking baby moniter feed. You wouldn’t have dragged out a suit and pulled me from the fight. I had it handled like I said I did.”

Tony sighs harshly, running a hand through his hair. “You have to understand that I was just trying to protect you.”

“I said I had it handled. I would’ve asked you if I didn’t think I could. I don’t need you to come swooping in every time I try to do anything myself!”

“I don’t want you to get hurt!”

“You’re not my dad!” Peter shouts, chest heaving. “You lied to me. You said you’d watch the baby moniter feed and let me handle it, but no, you flew out here to stop me. Again.”

Tony’s visibly angry now, voice lifting. “You didn’t have it handled! There were fifteen armed people in that building, Peter!”

“And I’ve dealt with more! I can’t be a superhero if you keep treating me like a child!”

“You are a child!”

“I’m seventeen for gods sake, Tony,” Peter says, already starting to back away towards the elevator. He just wants to go home before one of them says something they regret. “I don’t need you helicopter-parenting me.”

Tony rolls his eyes, letting out a harsh laugh. “I can’t helicopter-parent you if I’m not your dad, can I?”

“God, can you just admit you’re wrong for once?” Peter says, voice tipping into cold territory. He’s never once acted like this around Tony. He feels like he’s being the annoying teenage-stereotype, but he’s a superhero and Tony should let him act like one. Not keep him cooped up and dealing with cats in trees for the rest of his life.

“Can you just admit that you’re not ready for something like this?”

“You told me you’d stay home unless I asked you for help. I would’ve asked you if I needed you. I thought we’d gotten past this stupid phase when I beat the Vulture for you.”

It’s still a relatively sore topic, all things considered. Tony still feels a lot of guilt for Peter being alone that night, and Peter still deals with a lot of nightmares and panic attacks revolving around the warehouse collapse.

Tony sighs harshly again. “How many times have I had to save your ass after you refused to ask for help?”

“That’s not the point!” Peter shouts, angry all over again. “The point is that you betrayed my trust, Tony! The point is that you promised you’d let me handle this one alone unless I asked you for help, but you couldn’t even do that! Do you just not trust me?”

This is bordering too close to raw territory, real feelings, and that’s normally not easy for them, let alone when they’re angry and fighting.

“Fine,” Tony mutters, eyes dark and jaw clenched. “If you want me to stop helicopter-parenting you, I will. If you want me to let you dive into stupid fights and get yourself killed, go for it, I won’t stop you. See if I care.”

It’s not true, and Peter knows it. Tony cares about him a lot. Too much, probably. But the words still cut deep, and Peter’s never been a good arguer. He always ends up crying if conflict is too much.

So instead of making things any worse, Peter sends Tony one last glare before turning his back and heading for the elevator.

Peter’s driving now. He’s not the best driver, but he can do it. Plus, it saves Happy the long hours to and from the city for Peter. It makes everyone’s lives a little bit easier.

He doesn’t want to drive home. It’s raining now and the sky is dark, and it’s hard to see through his glassy eyes, tears threatening to fall. He almost turns back to the tower to say in his room for the night, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t want to face Tony again. He doesn’t want another fight.

He should’ve been smarter. He should’ve followed his gut to not drive back.

Maybe that would’ve changed the outcomes of the night.

Either way, the roads are slippery and Peter doesn’t see the truck run the red light. He certainly doesn’t see the way the truck loses control.

The last thing he does see is a flash of black as the truck slams into his tiny cheap car, and then the world goes dark.

*Tony stands in the hallway for a long time, staring at the discarded Spider-Man mask on the floor. Peter left in his suit, with a sweater and short pulled on over it like it would protect his identity at all.

He already regrets the things he said. He knows he should have faith in Peter’s capabilities. The kid’s strong and smart and he’s got a crazy expensive suit on his side. Tony should’ve trusted Peter, he knows.

But on the other hand, Tony can’t lose Peter. He can’t let something happen to his kid.

“Karen’s inactive so I’m incapable of getting a read on why, but Peter Parker’s vitals have fluctuated to dangerous levels,” Friday pipes up.

“What?” Tony asks, drawing his watch up to get look at them.

It isn’t clear why his heart rate has chaanged drastically or why his blood-oxygen levels are dropping, but it’s bad. It’s pretty obviously bad, so Tony summons a suit and takes off towards Peter’s last known location.

When he gets to the scene, Tony’s heart drops to his stomach, hands trembling as he tumbles out of his suit.

There are two ambulances, three police cars, a fire truck, and two tow trucks all surrounding the scene of the accident where Tony can just make out Peter’s little car, wrecked and smoking.

Tony had told Peter time and time again that he shouldn’t buy the shitty, old car off his neighbors, but Peter had been insistent. He wanted a car of his own, not one that Tony would buy for him. He wanted to have his own first shitty car.

And Tony let him as long as he promised they’d fix it up together.

They never really did.

“Sir, you can’t be here,” a woman tells him. She touches his arm gently, eyes focusing on him with concern. “We don’t need Iron Man’s help here.”

“No, not Iron Man, I’m just here as Tony,” he tries to explain. “That’s my kid’s car. That’s- He- He’s my kid, please.”

The woman nods carefully, glancing behind her at the wreckage. “We’re working on getting him out of the car and then you can ride with us to the hospital, alright? Just stay out of our way.”

“Yeah, yes, of course,” Tony blurts, voice shaking. “Just- Please, please let him know I’m here?”

All Tony’s allowed to do is wait on the sidelines.

A man’s dragged out of the truck. He looks alright, still able to stand on his own, only a little bit of blood on his temple and hands. His face is scrunched up in awful grief as he stares at Peter’s wrecked car, as he’s taken to one of the ambulances.

And then finally, finally, they get Peter out of the car.

All Tony can see is blood and he nearly throws up, stomach twisting as he sees the paramedics get Peter onto the stretcher and into the back of an ambulance.

The woman from earlier reappears and grabs his arm, leading him up and into the ambulance as well.

Tony can barely breathe as he reaches out and grabs Peter’s hand, trying his best not to cry. “I’m so sorry.”

Peter’s eyes are closed, skin an awful pale, blood staining every inch of him.

“I’m so sorry, kiddo,” Tony repeats quietly, accepting the washcloth and bucket offered to him and he starts carefully rinsing the blood off the kid, water turning pink. “Don’t you give up on me. Please. I’m sorry.”

Tony focuses on washing away Peter’s blood until they get to the hospital and he’s sat down on one of the uncomfortable chairs, left to call May and Pepper and Happy, let them know what happened and promising to keep them in the loop.

Time passes strangely and Tony doesn’t do much but sit there and silently hope that everything will be okay, guilt swelling within him for hours.

Until a nurse comes and leads him to the hospital room where Peter’s already awake, still looking too pale and hurt, but awake. Alive.

“Kid, I’m so sorry-”

“I know,” Peter says, reaching out one of his hands for Tony to take. “I didn’t really think you were being honest because I wasn’t either. I know you only do what you do to protect me.”

“And yet, you’re here because of me.”

Peter shakes his head, eyebrows creasing in confusion. “It’s nobody’s fault. The weather was bad, it was just an accident. We could spend forever pointing blame, but it’s okay. I’m not mad at you anymore.”

“I’m still sorry.”

And Peter smiles, bringing Tony’s hand up to his chest to hold it close. “I love you, Tony.”

“Yeah, I love you too, kid. Don’t ever scare me like that again, okay?”

Taglist: @littlemissagrafina  @spideygirl2003 @romeoandjulietyouwish @c-artara @shadedrose01 @likeaphoenix13 @tonystarkweneedyou {Let me know if you want to be added or removed}

[elsapheonix]

Wolffe with a halo

“Hey Wolffe, look there's a letter here” Gregor called

“Alright” I called

“It’s for you can I read it?” Gregor asked

“For me? Uhh no I’ll be there in just a second” I said and I left the Bedroom and went the table where Gregor was. He handed me the Letter. My breath caught when I saw the handwriting on the envelope

Return Address:

Wild space Coordinates

G-9 76937-O-930

Commander Wolffe Koon

Seelos

AT-AT Imperial Walker

“Oh my….” I said trailing off and then I tore into the letter before my fear caused me to throw it away.

My Beloved Wolffe Koon,

Kah-ta-yar Wolffe, how are you after all these years? These year go by slow without you here by my side, it’s been so long. I still love you more than anything else. Especially more than my own life. I even discarded rules for you. The Jedi Code was probably the biggest one, but I didn't care and i still don't. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about you, not a day goes by without me missing you, my Angel. It’s so hard being away from you day in and day out. It’s hard to do anything without you. You were, still are, and will always be my everything, my life, my world, my angel and my reason for living, for fighting, for existing. I believe it’s the will of the force that we meet and that I fell in love with you. Too me you are an Angel from the force. I could go on but then I’d need an entire notebook and it’s not easy to put a notebook in a envelope. You would know.

Do you ever think of the good times, Angel? About the Clone wars? I know I do. Almost everyday. The wolfpack was my family, My clan, My Aliit. Although they are not really my Brothers It sometimes felt as they were. Aliit ori'shya tal'din, Family is more than blood. I loved each and everyone of them, no man was just a clone. Losing then was the worst part of Order 66.

I miss everything of the clone wars, i guess when you grow up in a war zone you come too miss it when life changes. I miss taking down clankers, pranking shinnies with boost, leading assaults, hanging out with boost and sinker, destroying astromechs, fighting the sith, disobeying direct orders, Pissing off Rex, being able to use my lightsabers, spending countless hours with you doing ship duties, us breaking rules just so Master Plo would put us on deck duty while they all went down to battle, our countless arguments, even the ones over stupid things, scaring you with my piloting, you spending the night with me when I had the bad dreams, goofing off while doing paper work with you and the time we spent in the med after one of us had gotten hurt. I miss you're singing, and the silly little pet names you had for me. Most of all I miss Master Plo and you. I miss you more than him, Angel.

I had thought I had lost you forever after the purge, I wish I had not left you Angel, it has bothered me for longer than i can remember. I was a fool when I thought we were better a part, when in reality we are always better together. I had an harder time hiding from the empire on my own, I actually have been captured and escaped many times each time changing my name. I now go by Elisa Koon and have not been captured since Ahsoka and I started the rebels. I’ve made many reckless and stupid decisions. Some of them i’m sure would had been prevented had you been with me or had I stayed with you. I was a coward for leaving you and running like i did. I was afraid. I didn't even thank you for saving my life, Didn't even say goodbye. I abandoned you and I’m so so sorry.

I would like to see you again even if you don't look the same as you did before. It’s been so long and Rex says I need to stop pushing people away, I haven’t let anyone get close to me. He’s right I need to stop pushing people away and locking them out, Especially my Angelic Riduur. Speaking of Rex he couldn't figure out who I was and I eventually had to tell him who I was then he told me that you and gregor were camping out in an Imperial Walker on Seelos hunting Juppa's. That doesn't seem like a good way to spend the rest of your days.

Personally I think you’d be better off here with me Angel. I know you don't want too join our fight against the empire and you don't have to if you don't want too. I would never make you do anything. If you were to come I will protect you, I won't let anyone hurt you, never again. You remember that promise I made too you after Kholum right? Well, I’ll still stand too it. No one is ever going to hurt you again on my watch, not if I can help it, Angel.

I don't use my Lightsabers much anymore unless I have too, but I do keep them on me at all times, hidden of course. I mentioned I had to use a different name right? Elisa Koon, I have it as the shortened version of my real name Elizabeth Koon, Force how I hate that name. I’ve lost count of how many I have had. All have been shortened versions of my real one. I’ve used a different last name every time. I’ve been El Vizsla, Eliz Diana, Lily Uma, Lisa Tiana, Lisbeth Bonjo, Ela Vila, Izzy Tuttle, Libby Gulo, Beth Di Angelo, Bess Lupus, Bette Kyzie, Bessie Humble, and once I even used my full name Elizabeth Phoenix. Now I am Elisa Koon.

I decided it was time that I went back to my married name. I have even started to wear the diamond band you gave me again. If you do come I would like to redo our vows or even do a public wedding since the one we had was private. I’m sure you’d like that to.

We have found many of our Vods, Angel. Several of them, like yourself, don't want too fight so we provide them shelter and protection, I’m over that part of the rebellion. Some of them fight only as a last resort if we are really in a pickle, actually that's how all of them are. They like to help with planning and spare small jobs we have that need to be done, Comet, Sinker and Boost are some of the ones that are around.

The rebellion is lead by Ahsoka Tano, Separatist leader Commander Sato, Hera Syndulla and myself. We have been helping many systems who are in need because of the empire. Oh yeah, Senator bail Organa and princess Leia Organa secretly lead us in our fight while pretending to support the empire. I’ve edited my Armor, added extensions to it and made it bigger so it would fit me, I also changed it’s color from purple to grey. It’s markings match the ones on you're clone armor.

If you and Gregor do come I’ll find a cure for your fast aging. We’ve found cures for the ones that are here, aside from Rex, but it’s different for every clone, we have a serem but it has to be altered for every clone, we are currently altering it for Rex and I’m sure we could alter the serum for gregor. Not so sure about yourself since at one point you were a Werewolf. We may have to unblock the werewolf part of your blood, which would make you a wolf again.

I know you might not be too keen too that Idea but I highly doubt the serum could be altered for you seeing as you have wolfblood in you still. It wasn't actually removed like you thought I just used the force to contain it and make it inactive. We will try to do the serum but if we can't i’m going to free the wolf-blood. I don’t want you to die on me anytime soon. I don’t think I could live without you my beautiful Angel. It’s not fair that we are the same age yet you're near the end of your life.

It’s boring here, some of these guys have less personality than some of than some of the shinnes fresh off of Kamino did. And that’s saying something.

After battles were always fun with you and the wolfpack. Especially if Rex and the 501st were involved. Those boys were always having a party. I remember Rex’s favorite phrase at those times “It’s always a party in the 501st”

Master Skywalker is not Darth Vader like we thought he was. So the mystery of who Darth Vader is, is still open. Master Skywalker is currently being held at an imperial complex. Highest security one. I think the emperor is keeping him alive too use his force signature too give to whomever darth vader is too make it seem as if master Skywalker is Darth Vader.

I know for a fact he’s not I came across files, imperial files of where he is being kept and his cell number. That's not information I can put in this letter. I have a few guesses at who Vader is.

I think he is Master Jrul, Master Pong Krell, or Master Quinlan Vos. Though he could be another fallen Jedi I think these three are the most likely. This would be a conversation best for comms or better yet being face to face.

I really wish you were here with me Angel, I need someone who understands me. I need you more than I ever thought my Angel.

If you decide to come you can write and I’ll come pick you up or you can just call Rex, I’m not in the command center often so the chances of them getting a comm message to me is slim.

Hope too see you again Angel,

Love,

Elsa Phoenix-Koon

“I...She….” I stumbled over the words I wanted to say. Gregor took the letter from my hands, I was in complete shock and could feel my eyes starting to water. “She still loves me” I finally choke out

“Of course she does Wolffe, she’s your wife, she’ll love you no matter what” Gregor says

“She’d be safer finding someone else” I say

“You don’t really belive that do you?” Gregor says

“I miss her, but I don’t want to risk hurting her” I say

“I doubt you could ever hurt her, she’s a strong kid” Gregor says, “We should go, sounds too me that she really wants you there”

“But…”

“No buts” Gregor says “I’m comning Rex”

“Wonderful” I say when Gregor leaves the room.

[pandawritesmanythings]

Loki x Reader (Medieval AU)

Chapter Summary: And so the dilemma begins...

Warnings: None, I believe

Word Count: 2,105k

A/N: Sorry about the couple of weeks of inactivity, it been busy on my side, but I love this sotry and I’ll keep updating! Don’t worry about it!

Masterlist

-

"What do you mean by that?" Loki asked, glaring daggers at his father.

"I mean you can't tell her."

"Why?" He cocked his head in defiance. "Are you scared you won't be able to control her?"

"Despite being an heiress, she is still a princess, and princesses tend to... Chew more than they can bite." Odin said simply as if bored by the conversation.

"So you just hide information from her? You know she will become your daughter in law, right?"

"Does that mean you have accepted your role in the alliance?"

"I always have, ever since you forced my hand. But don't try to make this about me. You know what she would do if she had that information, don't you?"

"We can't have her leaving. Until you two are wed, none of you will take a step out of this palace, and if I find that either of you did, I'm dissolving this marriage right now. I do not care if Midgard falls. After all, they say to keep your enemies closer."

...

"So?" You raised an eyebrow as his eyes searched your face, his own devoid of expression.

Loki's gears were turning. What could he say? He needed your trust to keep his side of the deal, but he also knew the consequences of going against his father's wishes. He wouldn't be here if he didn't recognize the power he held.

"We're still waiting on confirmation. But I'll let you know as soon as we have conclusive intel." He said.

True. It wasn't a conclusive answer, but it was an answer nonetheless. He wasn't lying, really, he just needed clearance to reveal the facts.

He noticed your expression hardening. It was strange, you had acted serious, but right now you looked borderline angry.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. As soon as this is confirmed, I promise I will personally come and tell you."

You relaxed just a little at that. "I'll hold you to that."

With a soft huff, you hit the pillows behind you and relaxed in the window seat. Looking out the glass you saw the unwavering sea. You had never been so close to it, at least not until the night when you came to Asgard. It hadn't been that long ago, but you wondered if you could go there again.

Loki saw your expression. He pretended not to notice it though. His mind was still slightly panicky from almost failing to secure your trust. At least in his head. His expression, or lack thereof, made you none the wiser.

"Have you ever seen the sea up close, princess?" He asked without even looking at you, his eyes also fixated on the sea.

"Only once..."

He risked a glance at you to find you still fixated on the shoreline below. "What about a walk down the sea tomorrow?"

You perked up at that, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "Really?"

"If you wish." He smirked.

A shadow crossed your face. "I don't think that would be a good idea..."

"Why is that?"

"My brother. He will be arriving soon, and I'd rather be here for him when he arrives."

Loki nodded. "That's understandable." He adjusted on his seat. "Then let me make a proposition. Once your brother has arrived, I shall take you both on a stroll. After all, I would like to speak to the boy myself."

You raised an eyebrow at him. "As long as you don't place a dagger by his neck everything will be fine."

"If he is anything like you, I would be willing to bet that he has his own." He smirked teasingly.

"Oh, and even if he doesn't, you can bet that I do." You teased back.

"I would not expect less from you, princess." He smirked, the title sounding more like a nickname coming from his mouth.

"We'll reunite then. If that's okay with you."

"Of course," He replied, and then took your hand to plant a kiss on top of your hand. "It will be an honor to get to know your brother, and formally present you to our beautiful shoreline."

You smiled in agreement. "I will wait expectantly." You stood to leave but turned before heading to the door. "When should we reconvene to discuss the book?"

"Next week will probably be busy for both of us. Let's set a date once things have winded down..."

"Perfect. But I hope you know I'll finish it anyway." You teased him.

"In that case, I will look forward to hearing your input."

"And I look forward to hearing your opinions."

You finally departed, it was almost time for lunch. Time flew by, and you didn't exactly notice, did you?

With a quick final goodbye, you left the library and began heading towards your room to freshen up before lunch with the royal family. Steve hot in your trail.

"Your majesty," He called you when you were about to enter your room. "Can we talk?"

"Is there an issue?" 

Don't say nothing about yesterday. Don't say nothing about yesterday. Don't say nothing about yesterday. Don't say nothing about yesterday. Don't-

"I was worried about you yesterday. I couldn't find you anywhere. No-one knew where you were."

...

"Thank you for worrying, but I was fine. I just got lost in the gardens yesterday. Nothing to worry about."

"Still," His tone was filled with worry. "At least give me heads up beforehand, or let me accompany you. I'm charge of your safety, after all. Your father would have my head if something happened to you." He said that last part with a smile on his lips and warmness in his tone.

He really cared, didn't he?

"He would. I know." You smiled, but you tried to convey with your eyes the conflict in you, "However, I want you to trust me that I can take care of myself."

"I never said you couldn't, but we're still in unknown territory. Some people may even be hostile. I can't risk you getting hurt."

"Steve, you trained me. You know the roughness of my hands, the battles we've had to fight together, you know that if it came down to it I can fight."

"That's the thing. I don't want it to come down to it. People out there can be dangerous, but sometimes I worry even more when you are by yourself inside the palace walls."

Was he hiding something? It looked like he wanted to say something else, but he didn't. Did he know something you didn't?

"Then help me understand." You softly placed a hand over his arm, encouraging him to speak.

"I-I can't." He turned away from you. "Sorry. Everything I do is because I want to keep you safe."

You wanted to believe, you really did, that it was more than just him having to uphold his duties. That maybe you had a place in his heart, but... 

"So you're not going to tell me anything?" 

You sounded way more stern than you meant, but it did the job because he met your eyes again.

"I can't."

"So you'd left me unprepared. Ignorant that there is anything that may cause me harm. I am only defenseless without knowledge, but I understand how hard it must be to not be able to keep me on a tight leash." 

Your words were sarcastic. It hurt you in your heart to say them out loud, especially to someone who had been with you ever since you both were little. They tasted bitter, but they were necessary. What other way was there to keep yourself informed? You knew Steve, he was stubborn, like you. He was never going to slip you information if he thought it would protect you. But if his defenses were down, then maybe...

You turned to head inside your room.

"A chroí..." He called suddenly.

His nickname for you.

You turned to find him gazing worriedly at you. He had recently grown a beard, and you had to admit that it looked really nice on him. With his partially open lips, you wondered how it would feel to touch it.

"Please, don't misunderstand me. I know you're strong. I know you don't need me to care for yourself. I know. I trained you, I know that better than anyone. Even your father." He began getting closer, just a few steps away, and the distance kept reducing slowly.

"But I want to care for you. Not because you are weak, or incapable of doing it yourself but because-"

He stopped himself. Like he couldn't get those words through his lips.

"Because?" You encouraged him, closing the distance some more and squeezing his arm encouragingly.

He looked into your eyes. His blue eyes... They looked at you with such warmness. No one had ever looked at you like that but Steve. It was different from the warmness that your father showed you, or Pepper, or even Peter. This made you feel safe in an entirely different way and made you feel warm, starting with your cheeks all the way down to your toes.

It seemed like an eternity had passed with how you both stared at each other, but it couldn't have been more than a few seconds when-

Steve pecked your lips.

It was quick. Fleeting. He might as well not have done it, because it was so fast that it took you a second to process it.

Without looking back you pushed the door to your room open. Wanda was already out getting lunch with Vis, and Sigyn was busy with lunch around this hour.

You both entered the room in synchronization and Steve closed it without breaking eye contact. Not that you really wanted him to. 

As soon as the door was closed, you cautiously approached him again. There was nothing in the world but you and him at that moment. You took a moment to closely examine his face, feel the softness of his beard. Play with the falling locks on his forehead. He placed his hand delicately on your hips. 

Once again you both closed the distance and ended up on a kiss. However, this one was not a peck. It was a full-on kiss.

You were both inexperienced in this. That much was obvious. You knew for a fact that Steve had never kissed anyone, ever. And you hadn't either. So you began with simply pecking each other's lips and from time to time staying locked on the kiss for longer. Until you decided to do something a little bolder a begin kissing his bearded jawline and began kissing his neck. 

He let out a soft sigh, and guiding you face with your hand he made you look at him.

"Sorry, I know that I should be more experienced. Give you a proper first kiss but..."

"No Steve. It's alright. This is perfect." You smiled softly.

A knock suddenly woke you both up from your daze.

You shot him a panicked glance and mouthed: Stand here.

Quickly, you fixed your hair to make sure everything looked good.

"Your majesty?" A voice came from outside. "May I come in?"

You sat at your vanity, which was far from Steve and the door.

"Yes. You may."

The door opened to reveal a young girl, no more than 16.

"The Queen has requested that you attend lunch with her. I am to take you to her."

"That's alright, I was just speaking with Captain Roger's about some security matters. I will be with you in just a moment." You quickly lied.

"Alright, I will wait outside." The girl said, and then she closed the door.

You both let out a quiet sigh. 

Distance. Yes. That was best.

After all, what oN EARTH WERE YOU THINKING! You were engaged! It is true that you would rather be with the man in front of you, but you had agreed on this! Both you and Loki were losing a lot! You couldn't betray his trust like that! You both said that you had to leave the ones with the key to your hearts behind. It had been a mutual understanding.

Your mind kept plaguing you. It kept condemning about what had happened, and what could have happened if the Queen hadn't called for you. 

Steve cleared his throat. "I shall go, Princess."

"Yes. We will... Discuss this matter some other time."

And then he left. Leaving you confused and broken-hearted.

Now not only you had to worry about your engagement. But you also knew that Steve reciprocated your affections. 

And for that single reason, he couldn't stay here much longer.

-

TAG LIST:

@chxrryycola - @midnightmystic​ - @deathkat657​ - @thatonefangirl111​ - @smolbitch2006​  -  @roguewraith​

[yogpetshame]

Hi all, following on from my update post last week, today I want to share some more thoughts and apologise for something that I feel particularly bad about.

In 2016 screenshots emerged on tumblr of Sjin chatting flirtatiously with fans online. During a livestream and reddit post I angrily defended him and insulted those who were sharing the screenshots - something I deeply regret doing and am very sorry for.

At the time I thought a few overly-sensitive individuals were blowing things out of proportion and getting angry on behalf of others. I hadn’t received any complaints and to me it appeared that no one was hurt. I reminded Sjin that chatting with fans in this way was not okay and if it were to happen again he would be removed from the Yogscast. Sjin was a close friend and I stupidly believed him when he said nothing inappropriate had happened (emphasis added).

Last year, a number of women shared their stories with me and I finally realized that he had, in fact, caused a great deal of hurt. 

I understand now that his position of power allowed him to emotionally manipulate and sexually harass members of our community.

I don’t think he really understood that his actions were not okay - or the impact of them - but that is no excuse, people were hurt and they continue to come forward.

Over the last week I’ve seen many courageous women and men share their stories only to be insulted, shamed or threatened with lawsuits or violence and I have been very upset by this. If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the last year, it’s that accusations against influencers deserve to be taken seriously and those speaking up should be met with compassion, respect and support.

Yes, there will be a rare bad apple with a false claim. But if multiple victims have come forward then no doubt there are more who can't speak out in public. This could be because they’re protecting their family, reputation, mental health or career. And they should not feel guilty for waiting until they are ready to come forward.

It's a privilege to be a professional YouTuber or streamer - not a right. I applaud Twitch for taking action to remove poisonous individuals from the platform and I hope other big platforms do the same. But we need to do more: we need to educate influencers that fans are real people with real feelings - something that can be hard to see through the veil of anonymity on the internet.

We have a HR rep at the Yogscast and are implementing a sensitivity training course that all current and future creators will be expected to complete. Perhaps something like this should be built into requirements to join “partner programs” on Twitch and YouTube, just as you’re required to complete a short online training course to get certified for Google Adsense.

I encourage everyone to stand up when they see or hear something wrong and call it out. My [e-mail](mailto:lewis@yogscast.com) is always open to anybody who has concerns about how we do things.

To conclude, it’s become apparent to me that my past inaction and ignorance contributed to the hurt caused by Sjin and others and I feel deeply ashamed about this. I want to say sorry to everyone who has been affected.

There’s been a lot to think about and consider so I’ve decided to take a few weeks away from everything and I’ll be back in due course.

Be good to one another,

Lewis

I felt like taking ages to get around to responding to this -  that’s why it took me a while. When I see a long letter and I agree with every point I don’t feel like throwing myself at it. I’m not chasing it down like I’m trying to hunt the post and kill it.

In case you were missing the context, Lewis is referring to what we’ve been calling the “Fuck You Stream,” a Deck Rippers stream from April 2016 in which Lewis screamed “fuck you” at least five times to people who had brought accusations against Sjin. The Yogscast appear to have delisted the video, so I’m having trouble giving you the context you deserve here. This post contains a large transcript of the things that were said, and I might have archived it somewhere, but if it’s already up somewhere, let me know.

How fucking long ago was “Yogscast needs HR” a slogan? All it took was one errant flail in their everyday uncontrolled brawl to punch a hole in Yogcon, and suddenly focusing on sensitivity and tackling the harmful repercussions of their behavior began to make financial sense. One year later and the Rooster Teeth partnership as well as pressure from Twitch finally forced the Yogs to get HR.

It’s easy but often toothless to say “They should do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do.” Which is why my main point was always, “the right thing to do will make financial sense in the end.” The fact that Sjin was leaving dozens of victims in his wake doesn’t seem to have immediate financial repercussions, but £100,000 and a crater in their reputation later... An ounce of prevention,  £100,000 of cure. You could attribute MadCat leaving to his shitty behavior and insubordination, or, as Madcat says they described it, you could call him a “brand risk.” You get to the same place in the end.

There’s one thing Lewis does state clearly but is easy to miss, and probably wasn’t something he wanted to emphasize.

In 2016 screenshots emerged on tumblr of Sjin chatting flirtatiously with fans online.... At the time I thought a few overly-sensitive individuals were blowing things out of proportion and getting angry on behalf of others. I hadn’t received any complaints and to me it appeared that no one was hurt... Last year, a number of women shared their stories with me and I finally realized that he had, in fact, caused a great deal of hurt. I understand now that his position of power allowed him to emotionally manipulate and sexually harass members of our community.

The only difference between 2016 and 2019 was... empathy. Really. I don’t see Lewis stating that he discovered any missing information. I see a man in 2016 who saw these women complaining and couldn’t take them at their word until it came explicitly paired with an explanation of the harm.

I don’t find that so surprising, considering he initiated the Fuck You Stream four years ago by dragging Minty, calling her a jealous and unsatisfying ex of Sjin’s. You have to really forge a person to change them from that kind of beast into someone who actually empathizes with other people, who actually wants to ask and to learn who has been harmed rather than read and pass instant judgement.

We need to educate influencers that fans are real people with real feelings - something that can be hard to see through the veil of anonymity on the internet.

Because Lewis didn’t always know that.

So while I’m being slow and ponderous instead of a screaming eagle for once, I have an actual mellow suggestion for Lewis. If he thinks there should be sensitivity training, really dig into the experience of changing your mind and share that. Why you thought they weren’t real people, what you heard that changed you the most. Bring it to the Yogscast’s audience, and to leadership at Twitch. You’re among the vaccinated now, go share the vaccine.

It’s been interesting to me, watching those final hardcore dregs of Sjin’s fanbase try to smell out some weakness in this. Lewis says “Sjin was a close friend,” and they go, “hmm, does not compute, they are clearly still friends,” or possibly more desperately, “maybe there’s a chance they’ll be friends again!” 

They put it down to pressure the way Lewis did in 2016, and say it’s not Lewis’ fault, it’s those guys on Reddit running the whole conspiracy who are to blame. Much like how Reddit used to blame the accusations against Sjin on Tumblr. Because clearly the only valid source of information is the social media platform you yourself are using.

Some of the real Einsteins say, “well none of the damage would have happened if they’d just kept this private matter private.”

Sjin would never be stopped if it was kept private.

Sjin behaving this way was never a private matter, it was an abuse of his professional position.

He would not have been enabled to cause this damage without combining his private and professional life.

Sjin literally harassed his professional contacts within the Yogscast. It’s literal workplace sexual harassment.

At any rate. There’s always going to be doubters. It’s just good to know we’re not watching the Yogscast management pander to them anymore.

There’s been doubt about it but again, this blog’s going to continue to exist. It started because people were being censored on Reddit, and they still are, and because Lewis and others were muffling complaints sent in through their emails which may or may not have come to an end. Lewis watched while Turps and Sjin helped reinforce systemic issues in the Yogs, and we’ll see whether Lewis is serious about dismantling what he did.

Starting with earnestly tackling that subreddit that Bouphe doesn’t like, maybe?

[ikemen-stories]

~My MCs list~

It's a hobby of mine creating OCs so it was just a matter of time before I ended up creating a bunch of MC for my favorite games. Unfortunately I'm not very good at drawing so I had to use picrew to create an image of them.

Ikemen Sengoku

Name: Kokuri Momose

Age and birthday: 26 years old ~ 8th August (Leo)

Personality: A bit of an airhead with a child-like nature, she's a sunny and clumsy tornado with a great adaptive capacity and a very low self-preservation instinct. She doesn't have a lot of patience and can't stay quiet to save her life: the only way to have her sit down is to give her sewing work. Because she's always running around without paying attention to her surroundings, it's not uncommon for her to get hurt but she usually laughs it off.

Kokuri is very touchy and likes to give and receive hugs. She also usually needs to establish some kind of body contact while she's talking with someone but she's not completely aware of it, it's more like a habit, without any other meanings.

Likes: girly stuff like ribbons, outside spaces, running, hugs.

Dislikes: being unable to move freely, sour things, having to stay inside all day, silence.

Miscellaneous:

She has a habit of switching her glasses with Mitsunari's and Sasuke's just for fun. She's also the kind of person that can be found searching for her glasses while they are sitting right on top of her head.

She gets scolded by Hideyoshi on a daily basis but she usually gets away with it by searching Nobunaga's protection.

Any attempt to flirt with her goes right over her head, doesn't matter who is trying.

She doesn't understand sarcasm and that drives Ieyasu crazy. "Not another one...!"

Every morning, when Kokuri opens her eyes, Hideyoshi feels a new massive headache coming.

Ikemen Revolution

Name: Maeve Walsh

Age and birthday: 27 years old ~ 11th May (Taurus)

Personality: She's calm and collected, with a good head on her shoulders. She has a somehow arrogant way of talking but she's extremely hardworking and she's willing to do any necessary chores, being them as humble as they can be. She doesn't have a great adaptive capacity so at the beginning, when she arrived to Cradle, she freaked out a bit in her head and it's been difficult for her to come to terms with the fact that she was in another world with magic and all.

She has a sweet-tooth but doesn't like to admit it and pouts everytime someone points it out.

Likes: sweets, work, being independent, coffee, smoking.

Dislikes: inactivity, having no control over what happens to her, rapid changes.

Miscellaneous:

She's Irish. She moved to London because she's aiming to work for a famous patisserie of the city one day. She was gaining some experience in another less famous patisserie before ending up in Cradle.

She like to smoke but she only do it when she's anxious, sad or in a bad mood because it helps her relaxing.

She may look easy to order around due to her usually calm behavior but the sassiness is strong with this one. She doesn't esitate to answer harshly if someone disrespect her. She usually doesn't even raise her voice but being a huge smart-ass she's able to make almost anyone lose their temper.

After a while everyone agreed to NEVER put her in the same room with Jonah or Oliver.

She usually wears a formal and mature attire and doesn't appreciate frilly things.

Ikemen Vampire

Name: Chika Kitowa

Age and birthday: 24 years old ~ 19 December (Sagittarius)

Personality: She's an easygoing and enthusiastic girl that's always up to try new things and visit new places. She's very extravagant and lives in her own little world so she may come across as a lightheaded person. A little gullible, it's easy to fool her and she's not able to convincingly lie.

She's not able to hold a grunge against someone and, even when someone menages to piss her off, she always ends up forgiving them after the fight. The time needed for her to forgive them depends on how the other part reacts: she's not against giving someone the cold shoulder for a while if they really crossed the line without even say sorry.

Likes: her cellphone and headphones, discovering new places, listening to music, reading.

Dislikes: being told to shut up, being ignored, going to sleep.

Miscellaneous:

She is one thing with her headphones and cellphone and it's been a real shock for her to learn that she was going to live without it for a while.

After the charge of her headphones run down she kept hanging outside Mozart's room in order to listen better to his music. In the end, she menaged to even befriend him to the point that he even allowed her to stay in the same room while he plays.

She tends to talk too fast and sometimes even her thoughts aren't able to keep up with the speed of her mouth.

She's a natural redhead but she completely dyed her hair of a light sky blue a while ago. Now she keeps just a few locks dyed.

It's not uncommon for her to start singing loudly while doing her chores around the house, singing even louder if someone shouts at her to shut up.

A3!

I like Izumi too much to substitute her with someone else so for A3! I've created an "extra".

Name: Noriko Moriyama

Age and birthday: 19 years old ~ 17th October (Libra)

Personality: She's a nerd type of person, always with her nose stuck in a book. Being quiet and a little shy, she doesn't have a lot of friends. Despite her reserved personality, she does a 180 degree turn when she talks about her favorite stories and linguistic facts: she becomes kind of over-excited and very talkative, nearly impossible to stop.

She has a weird sense of humor and often comes up with terrible jokes that usually she keeps in her head due to her shyness: that's why sometimes she giggles on her own.

Likes: every kind of stories, over-sized hoodies, linguistic, bad jokes.

Dislikes: insects, math and any type of calculation, headpats.

Miscellaneous:

She studies linguistic and literature at the local University and she has became close with the Mankai company through Tsuzuru since they share some classes. She often helps him as a sort of beta-reader for his script.

She's very small and looks a lot younger than her actual age to the point almost no one believes her when she says how old she is.

She's easily embarrassed: the smaller compliment is enough to set her face on fire.

She's a scaredy-cat but she keeps watching horror movies because she likes them. But she need someone to hold on for dear life and hide her face when there's a jumpscare.

Nobody is able to take her seriously the few times she gets angry.

OBEY ME!

Being a big fan of Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic and already having Solomon in game, I couldn't help myself and I ended calling my MC Sheba. I had to!

Name: Sheba Nirmal

Age and birthday: 25 years old ~ 20th February (Aquarius)

Personality: An extremely strong-willed girl, she has a very short temper and a bossy attitude. She's smart but has a tendency to do dumb things due to her contrarian attitude. Also, she has a mischievous side and won't esitate to organize pranks on people that gets on her nerves.

Despite being always ready for a fight and a hothead, she has a weak spot for cute things and she likes playing with children.

Likes: any type of cute things, pranks, eating, riding a motorcycle, kids.

Dislikes: finding someone stronger than her, people bossing her around, rules that she doesn't understand, smart-ass remarks.

Miscellaneous:

Her signature phrase is "Fight me!". She uses it almost as filler words so after a while nobody takes her seriously anymore when she says it.

In the human world, when she was younger, she was a member of a motorcycle gang and kind of a thug so she used to knows how to handle a fight. But of course now everyone could pulverize her in a moment and this really piss her off.

The faster way to distract her and keep her from fight someone is to give her a cute plushie.

She risks to get killed almost once a day, sometimes even twice. Among the brothers, the only one that never tried to kill her so far is Mammon but the two of them bicker on a daily basis.

She has a 9-years-old sister in the human world that she believes being the cutest thing in the entire world and used to spoil rotten, so she really doesn't understand why the brothers relationship is falling apart.

Mystic Messenger

Name: Yun Pyeon

Age and birthday: 22 years old ~ 17th September (Virgo)

Personality: She has a caring and mother-like nature, a type of calm behavior that is able to shoote the ones around her. She is very patient and usually puts others well-being before herself. She's also very emotional and a bit of a crybaby when it comes to sad stories; also, she is not good at all at hiding her emotions and thoughts. She can be quite stubborn when she makes up her mind and is known to be extremely scary when enraged.

Likes: cuddles, animals, fluffy and warm blankets, playing with other people's hair.

Dislikes: people who yell a lot, bullies and violence, crying.

Miscellaneous:

A disapproving glance from her is able to put anyone to shame (but she almost never gives it to anyone).

100% determinated to hug and comfort-cuddle everyone in need.

She worries a lot about RFA members's sleeping schedule and what they eat.

She gives a lot of headpats, the sweet and gentle type. It doesn't matter if the receiving end is taller or older than her, headpats are her favorite way to comfort someone whom she is not close enough to hug.

She doesn't like being seen sad or troubled, that's why she really hates crying in front of someone else.

[keltonwrites]

How do I become courageous? How do I stop letting the anxiety over the uncertainty of future, or the fear of other people's judgement, dictate my life's narrative?

Ten years ago, my Zoloft prescription ran out the day I had a tumor sliced out of my neck. The surgery was on a Monday. I woke up with chest pain and nerve damage in my face. They kept me until Wednesday morning. I left the hospital with a drainage bag attached to my neck, pinned to the collar of my shirt. I couldn’t move the right side of my face. I emailed my boss.“The surgery was a little more intense than I anticipated. I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it in this week.”“Please be here on Friday.”I went to work on Friday. I couldn’t brush my hair because the pressure on my neck was too painful. The blood bag seeped occasionally on my shirt. I had the kind of sleep anyone has after their ear is partially sliced off to remove a tumor burrowing beneath it. Don’t worry — they sewed it back on. (The ear, not the tumor.)On Friday, because I didn’t understand how boundaries or rights worked, I walked across the National Institutes of Health campus toward my building looking more like a patient than an employee. My boss stared at me and then didn’t speak to me again. I wrote for four hours before I went into her office.“I need to go home.”“Have a nice weekend!” She beamed, actively looking everywhere that was not my blood bag.I smiled, sort of. The right side of my face was still temporarily paralyzed, so the left side of my mouth hoisted my cursory courtesy smile by itself.“Gonna work on my face,” I said pointing to my partially slack expression.“Sorry?”“Nerve damage. Gonna try to exercise it. Do some heavy lifting while I watch TV,” I said, my face contorting from the kind of stifled laughter usually reserved for broken ribs and strict teachers.“Ok!” She almost yelled, her own face contorting with discomfort.Over the next two weeks—tumor and medication free—I lost my mind. Stop me if you’ve heard this before. I gave away my percocet. I dyed my hair. I adopted a cat. I started a blog. And nine months later, I started a challenge called Bold Moves October. I started it because so much of my day-to-day life felt defined by inaction and complacency. Plus, the October prior is when the doctors had said, “we’re really not sure if it’s cancer or not.” Followed immediately by, “we can schedule you for surgery in three months.”It was a long three months. Death all of a sudden seemed like something that could happen. In my 23-year-old wisdom, this meant I should be more proactive. For better or worse, I primarily applied this proactivity to flirting.

We can’t all learn life’s great lessons on the first go.Anyway, that blog and that mini movement of boldness changed the trajectory of my life. One thing toppled into another. Over the next few years that blog and challenge would (directly and tangentially) get me a book deal, writing contracts, sport sponsorships, job offers, the friendship of my favorite author, the adoration of my husband, and a full-time job as an editor that would be the two best professional years of my life.The period I spent working on that blog was obviously good. It was also the most derided and insulted I would ever be. I lost friendships. I received hate mail and death threats (in 2011 no less, before every Twitter account with too many numbers in the screen name became an amateur fear monger.) I allowed people to send me anonymous messages because it was a way for people to share how they were struggling without revealing their identities. But that meant I couldn’t protect myself from anonymous and un-trackable threats. God only knows what my parents thought. (In this scenario, I am God. I know what they thought.)Courage often doesn’t feel good. The only courage that exists without anxiety is arrogance. There is not a life where you, a person who wrote anonymously to an all-but-dead Tumblr, live without the anxiety of others’ judgment. But there is also not a life where you, who—again—wrote asking for advice anonymously to an all-but-dead Tumblr, aren’t a person defined by desperate chances and hope. I apologize that you sent me that note months ago, but I assure you, it is because I too was flexing courage, letting it coarse through my veins and vanquish months of chronic nausea.Like you, I was fussing about in the woods of my life, looking for something that resembled a path. Not necessarily a path without sinkholes or poison leaves, but rather one worth them.Your path, the one it sounds like you’re trying to find, will be overgrown with the thorns of judgment and anxiety. But they’re just thorns. They’re on every path. They’re hurting you just as much on the wrong path as they will on the right one.Normally I give very ethereal advice that’s difficult to act on. It’s more like a song than an action item, but in this scenario, you don’t need to listen to someone else. You also don’t need to have a tumor spliced from your insides to remind you that at some point, our chances run out. All you need is to develop the skill of listening to yourself. For a couple of months, relax with the courage. Courage is just an instagram word for having a strong inner constitution. And that is something you can develop without framing it in the same terms we use to go to battle. 

To do the work, I recommend a few things. 

If you don’t already, move your body. I know how much people hate this advice. But if you can hike or run or cycle or even just briskly walk (without podcasts) for a minimum of 20 minutes a day, you should. Our gut, our intuition, our inner sense of self or whatever you want to call her, she’s not going to feel safe coming out when you’re in the mental thicket of other people’s narratives. Exercise is the closest humans have to Drano for the mind. 

Find a journaling exercise that feels like maybe it’s a little too much work. If it feels conquerable, it’s too easy. I go back to Susannah Conway’s Unravel Your Year. Doesn’t matter if it’s a new year. Time is a construct. 

Get the book Designing Your Life. You may not design an entirely new one, but it may help in making change feel conquerable, or just possible. If that book feels too “action item” oriented, try The Artist’s Way. It’s much more about knowing yourself than it is about art.

Make a list of the narratives that you feel other people are suffocating you with. Maybe dad wants you to be a doctor. Maybe girlfriend wants you to settle down a little. Maybe boss wants you to focus on the clerical side of your job. Maybe society wants you to buy an apartment you can’t afford. Whatever or whoever it is you feel is pressuring you, write it down. You need to know your demons to exercise them. You might even find, in time, that you even like some of these visions. They’re not the enemy. Pressure is. And pressure is only defeated by self. Isn’t that annoying?

Write to me again. Impress me. Give yourself a few challenges each week. Whether it’s applying for a class, trying something you’re bound to be bad at, getting up half an hour early to dance your heart out before work, I don’t care. Do some things that are for you. Not for others, not for profit, not for your future — just for you right now. And then use me for more than an anonymous submission on the internet. Use me as a deadline. Sometimes all it takes to get over the hurdle of pressure is a little validation. I’m here for that whenever you need me.  

I’m recommending these things because I just did them.

I gave myself a deadline to change my life. Not that it was bad, it just felt… well it felt exactly how it did ten years ago: full of inaction and complacency. I was on cruise control, taking few chances, taking really nothing at all. So the next thing I took was an exit. I wanted to see what life looked like when things weren’t all concrete and white lines. I quit my job. I camped around the west. I picked up a few new hobbies. I journaled more than I did all of 7th grade. My year-long bout of nausea went away. I started to dance again. I wrote songs again. I wrote in general again. And I dug around in my psyche for the truth about what I always liked doing, what the through-lines in all my good jobs have been. Very simply, the strongest through-line was the encouragement and empowerment of others.

Most of the writing I’m doing right now will be private until it isn’t. I’m writing a horror film and still working on my first novel. But I need a weekly way to interact with people via writing lest I lose my lonely mind, so I’m bringing back the one thing got me into writing in the first place: answering people’s questions.

After writing Anonymous Asked, I was too embarrassed to promote the book. I’ve never re-read it. I fell into the spiral of what other people thought: of me, of the work, of my ideas. But I’d rather be fulfilled and insulted than bored out of my mind and forgotten.

So to encourage your courage, I am flexing a little bit of my own. My newsletter (of which this essay is a part) is now called “A Little Bit Better” and the whole point is that it helps you feel a little bit better. You can subscribe to it here. It will include essays like this and other bits of things that made that week a little bit better. I hope you enjoy it. I know I will. See you there.I wrote this while listening to:It’s a Storm - Young & SickSwing - Mahmut Orhan Remix by Soki Tukker and Mahmut OrhanKissing Other People - Lennon StellaScared to Death - Jax AndersonSound of Your Voice - Griff

[storyknitter]

Fantasies & Illusions

Um, Theron’s mind isn’t a very nice place to be after he comes home from the Order of Zildrog, even after a good amount of time. Warnings for violence.

———

The latest intel on the Order of Zildrog, encrypted with the protocols that he and Lana had come up with so long ago on Rishi, transmitted to the Alliance at a snail’s pace and wasted time that Theron didn't have. If Atrius or Sixteen caught him—

“Why, hello, Shan. How's the Eternal Alliance doing today?”

Vinn's voice sent ice crackling up Theron's spine and he swore silently to himself, trying to figure out a good excuse for his actions. He looked up, fearlessly meeting his boss’s gaze in the monitor’s reflection despite his sinking stomach — he hadn't made it this far without a little bit of acting.

“Oh don’t bother coming up with an explanation. Sixteen and I have known since the beginning that you were playing the double agent card, even if your idiot girlfriend didn’t.”

Theron saw red at the insult to Vassanna, but kept his mouth shut; he didn’t trust himself with words and his mind scurried to come up with a new plan as Atrius continued his monologue.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t pay attention to the droid’s concerns about your loyalty?” the Zakuulan asked, not expecting an answer. “Maybe I'll wait to kill you until after you’ve watched your lover die, along with the rest of the Alliance.” Vinn let out an exaggerated gasp, hands on his cheeks in feigned incredulity, eyes wide. “Oh, and she'll die thinking you hated her — how fun!” The surprised look faded and a condescending smirk took its place as he crossed his arms. “By the way, we've been feeding you false information most of the time you were here. That abandoned listening post where you just sent your ‘sweetheart’ Commander? It's rigged to explode two minutes after the airlock is accessed.”

A shrill alarm blared from the console and Theron's heart raced, but he was frozen in place. No! he screamed to the Force. Sanna, get out of there!

“So: right now,” Vinn continued with a cocky grin, sarcasm dripping from every word. “How ignoble a death for the glorious Outlander.”

“Theron? Theron!” Her worried voice crackled through the speakers and he silently begged her to leave, to get out alive, to make a miracle happen — just once more. Please.

“Wake up, Shan,” Vinn said. “You’re dreaming if you think you could have beaten me. Besides, you’re not really good at saving people, hard as you might try. Let's count how many you've failed, shall we?” he said, ticking off a list on his fingers as Sanna desperately called for Theron in the background. “The man who raised you, the Twi’lek you claim as family, your mother, your father, your mentor at the SIS — not to mention your old colleagues who depended on you — and last, but not least, a Sith and Jedi. Two women: one friend, the other your lover. Best of all, they'll die thinking you betrayed them.”

No. Lana won't, he thought, but Sanna... I'm so sorry, sweetheart. Even if he could move, there was no time to attempt a shut down of the self-destruct: the hilt of an inactive lightsaber pike dug into his back.

Atrius’s hand clamped down on his shoulder and the listening post exploded in a massive fireball. As Theron watched helplessly, fury and hopelessness — his failure — choked him.

He knew there was no sweet-talking his way out of this now, no way to escape the Order alive — and no reason to, either. Letting out a desolate sigh, he initiated his backup plan, his last resort: Plan Zerek. He clicked his teeth together twice to turn his implants on, blinking the correct pattern to reconnect them to the holonet, and uploaded the virus he'd devised. It would hopefully take out Sixteen and weaken Zildrog, though he hadn't been able to test it. With that out of the way, Theron turned his focus to the man who had started this mess, who had destroyed everything he held dear.

Spinning on his heel, Theron swung his arm around with a vicious, rage-filled snarl, his hand curling into a fist. He struck Vinn in the face, then swept his feet out from under him in one smooth motion.

Before the zealot could move, Theron had him pinned to the ground, forearm digging into his throat. The spy reached for the small blade concealed in his boot but found it missing — where the hells had it gone? — so he resolved to simply choke the life out of this miserable bastard, leaning all his weight into it.

“Theron!” The gravelly gasp sounded like Sanna, but he had heard her voice everywhere since Umbara, so he didn't put much stock in it. “Theron, stop!” Vinn wasn't putting up much of a fight, which was surprising, but Theron was determined to put an end to the Order once and for all. He trapped the struggling hands against his chest, cooler and smaller than he'd expected.

Atrius managed to pry one hand away and reached up; Theron instinctively ducked his head to the side to protect his eyes and the palm landed softly on the back of his neck.

Theron! This time, it was definitely Sanna's voice in his head, prickly with fear and worry. Wake up. You're just dreaming, I promise. Wake up!

No, Vinn was just fucking with him, doing some sort of mind trick—

Theron. Please, please wake up. Then smaller, quieter: You're hurting me.

Dammit, Vinn had called his bluff: mind trick or not, he couldn't hurt her. Not again. He blinked once, twice, and the bastard he hated with every fiber of his being disappeared from view.

Theron found himself staring down into wide violet eyes. “Sanna,” he gasped, releasing his grip on her and scrambling backward out of the bed. He let out a string of obscenities laced with apologies, frantically asking if she was okay while putting as much space as possible between them.

He retreated to the cabin of the shuttle, his back against the control panels and staring at her in horror as real life filtered back into his consciousness: Vinn and the explosion had just been a nightmare. Theron replayed history in his head, running his hands down his face: Vinn Atrius wasn't really here, he was in Zakuulan custody, awaiting trial. Sixteen was dead, destroyed along with Zildrog. And Vassanna was safe.

Though not from him.

“I'm sorry,” Theron mumbled in a daze. “I'm so sorry I—”

“It's all right,” she croaked as she slowly approached, her hands up, pacifying. “It was just a dream. I'm here, you're all right.”

“Stop,” he hissed, covering his ears. Fucking hells, her voice sounded awful and he couldn't bear to hear it. And it wasn't all right; he'd just tried to strangle her, for fuck's sake.

Sanna gently took his elbow and her voice shimmered in the back of his mind. Theron, you're okay. It was just a dream, my sweet. How many times have I—

He slammed his mental shielding into place and yanked his arm out of her hand, effectively silencing her. He couldn’t meet her eyes, his gaze falling to her cheek, and a dark smudge developing beneath one of her chevron tattoos gutted him. Theron forced himself to look lower and thought he'd be sick when he saw the damage he'd done to her neck, bruises growing rapidly.

“Sit back down.” His words came out choked and cracked. “Please. Just... sit and I'll go get the kolto.” With hands clenched into tight fists, he tried to ignore why it was necessary. Theron retrieved the med kit, studying the case intently to avoid meeting Sanna’s gaze — her eyes had followed him across the shuttle, full of concern and perhaps pity, yet empty of fear or reproach.

As Theron applied the kolto to her skin, he nearly dropped the damned tube of gel twice because his stupid hands wouldn’t stop shaking. Sanna reached out silently, holding his wrist and steadying him. He should have been appreciative, but dammit, he’d caused this problem in the first place and he needed to fix it himself.

The bruises began to fade as the kolto worked to heal the damage he'd done. He tuned out everything else — including her — as he repacked the kit and placed it at the foot of the bunk.

“Theron,” she whispered, gently resting her hand on his arm. If she'd noticed that he flinched, she didn't show it. “Come back to bed, love.”

“No,” he bit out. “Thank you, I'm fine.” He stood, turning toward the cockpit, and threw himself into the pilot's chair. Soft footsteps padded across the durasteel floor, following before coming to a halt behind him.

“Theron—”

“I hurt you.” He wasn't about to give her the opportunity to let him off the hook for this. What he'd done was unforgivable.

“It was a dream. How many times have I lashed out in a nightmare over the years?”

“This is different.” Theron spun around to face her and found her hands propped on her hips, her mouth set in a thin line of concern.

“Why, because it's you and not me this time?”

The rattle in her voice made him want to pitch himself out the airlock. “It just is."

“Have you forgotten that I threw you into a wall the first time I stayed at your apartment, after Ziost?”

“Almost threw me into the wall. But fine,” he snapped, “we're even.”

“No, we're not,” she said, her words rising in volume to match his, “because we're not keeping score!” Sanna winced as her voice broke and the anger, the embarrassment, the shame Theron felt at what he’d done — sleeping or not — boiled over.

“I promised,” he roared, leaping up. “I swore to myself when we got back from Nathema that I would never hurt you again." He blinked to clear his blurry vision, his eyes prickling hot at the corners. "Ever. And now—”

“Well, that wasn’t a very logical promise.” Her matter-of-fact dismissal brought him up short, halting his self-reproach. “One day, you'll step on my toe or I'll catch your elbow while we're sparring or you'll accidentally say something little that wounds my pride.” Sanna reached out, caressing his cheek. “That’s not realistic, love. Perhaps it’s a vow better adapted by adding ‘purposely’ to it.”

He glared at her, grappling for a fault with her argument.

“Just promise not to leave me in an exploding train again and we'll call it good?” Her soft smile tripped his heart and he couldn't keep the corner of his mouth from twitching ever so slightly upward.

“Come back to bed,” she said, taking his hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“No,” Theron said, sharper than he'd meant, and sighed. “I need another minute.”

Vassanna inspected him, brow furrowed in concern. With a small sigh, she nodded and kissed his cheek, back further than usual, almost to his ear. Her lips drifted as she stood on her toes, pressing a tender, reverent kiss near his temple. She shifted to kiss his shoulder, then the top of his forearm, followed by the side of his wrist.

Oh.

Theron caught on as Sanna pressed her lips to both of his palms: she was kissing all the places she'd accidentally struck him while in the clutches of a bad dream, either one of Vitiate's making or her own mind’s. She dropped one final kiss on the edge of his jaw and turned back to their bunk.

Before he could stop himself, Theron reached out, gingerly grasping her elbow with one hand, her chin with the other. He turned Sanna to face him and kissed the fading bruise on her cheek. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, he tenderly, gently tilted her chin up, leaning forward with a murmured apology to press trembling lips to her neck.

Cool hands caressed his cheeks, cradling his face, and Vassanna kissed his forehead benevolently. He looked up and her lips met his. Theron felt light, unburdened. Forgiven. Peaceful.

“Don't be too long.” She turned away slowly, her fingers trailing down his cheek. He grabbed her hand, squeezing it, and gave her a shaky smile.

“Rest well, sweetheart.”

———

It took Theron nearly an hour to run through the exercises Amirtae had taught him to lessen his guilt and fear: it hadn't fixed things, but it sure as hells made looking at Sanna hurt less. Gathering up his courage, Theron approached the shuttle bunk.

She was curled up, facing the wall, but he'd shared a bed with her long enough to know that she was still awake and he sighed.

Here, practically alone in the emptiness of hyperspace, Theron could admit the truth to himself: he was afraid. Afraid to fall asleep. Afraid he’d dream again and hurt her. Afraid she'd reject him, despite her tender kisses and words of forgiveness. Afraid that he had broken things beyond repair. Afraid to need her as much as he did.

Perhaps one more quick round of meditation would be good for him.

No. No, if his stunt with the Order hadn't broken them apart, he wasn't about to let one bad dream drive a wedge between them. Theron slipped carefully under the covers, his hand coming to rest on the curve of her hip. “Can I hold you?” he whispered hesitantly. “Please, I— Sanna, I need to hold you. I need—”

She grabbed his hand and tucked it to her chest, pulling him closer. “Why can't you just call it ‘spooning’ like the rest of the galaxy?” she asked, her voice still raspy, but amused. She shifted until her back was pressed to his chest and he tucked his knees behind hers, slipping his arm under the pillows to twine their fingers together. He smiled, remembering — as she was — the night they'd mock-argued over how ridiculous the phrase “spooning” was.

“Vassanna Nabeshin, you know as well as I do: spoons that nest well together are the same size. There's no big and little spoon, they're all medium spoons.”

“I had no idea you felt so strongly about eating utensils!” she quipped. As they chuckled, a weight as big as a starship lifted from his shoulders; how had she gotten him to relax with one silly comment?

Theron kissed the side of Sanna's neck, nuzzling it as he squeezed her tight. They lay in silence, slowly relaxing, rocked gently by the shuttle’s movement through hyperspace. A question hovered in the back of his mind and he debated the merits of asking for long enough that she spoke first, soft yet insistent.

“Spit it out, mireashe.”

His heart thrilled at the endearment — as it always did — and a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. Unwilling to disturb the peaceful moment, he shook his head, but she rolled over to face him, her hand coming to rest on his cheek.

“Talk to me,” she whispered in a voice full of worry.

Heaving a sigh, Theron pressed his lips to her forehead and pulled her close. “Why didn't you use the Force to stop me?” he mumbled into her hair. “You should have.”

Vassanna’s fingertips tenderly traced the line of his collarbone as she spoke. “I didn't want to hurt you, scare you. You were terrified, I could feel it. Heartbroken. But I knew you'd wake up.” She snuggled closer, tangling their legs together. “You know, I don't think you actually broke your promise,” she continued. “You swore you'd never hurt me, right? I could see your face: the instant you realized that I was me and not whatever your dream was showing you, you stopped.”

Silence descended upon them once more and he wondered how in all the hells she could have so much faith in him, how she could trust him with her life, after everything.

“I don't deserve you.” The whispered words slipped from his lips before he could stop them.

“I love you, mirea,” Sanna said simply, pulling back to meet his eyes. “I want you with me, until the end. My husband, my partner. Do you feel the same?”

“Of course I do.”

“Well, then. If Destiny has seen fit to bring us together so many times, and we want to be together too, then...” She trailed off with a small sigh, lower lip caught in her teeth. “Then maybe that's more important than what we think we deserve.”

“Hmm, maybe you're right.” His words were muffled as he pressed his lips to her forehead.

“Hmm, maybe.” Sanna smiled, though it quickly disappeared. “Was it like that for you, the whole time?” she said, soft and hesitant. “When he was in my head, I mean, with all the dreams and— Did you feel that helpless every night?”

Theron paused, remembering her bad nights, the times when Vitiate would sink his claws into her mind and not let go. “Yeah. Helpless. Furious. He was torturing you and...” He sighed and cradled her head to his chest. “And I couldn’t do anything about it, except try to wake you and hold you close afterward. Stars, your face. I always knew the really bad ones — it took ages for you to come back to yourself, to recognize me again. The way you'd look at me when you thought I was one of them...” He trailed off, shaking his head. “Yeah, ‘helpless’ is probably the best way to put it.”

Sanna murmured an apology and declaration of love, but she was drifting back to sleep, her body soft and warm against his.

“I love you too, more than anything.” He kissed her temple and tightened his hold on his wife; forgoing sleep himself, Theron would be more than content to hold her through the night.

“Sweet dreams.”

[ohgoddard]

Fist of Fire.2.19. The End pt.1

“......progress is coming along remarkably in the…”

Eyes begin to move in the darkness. Ears start to pick up voices.

“...yes sir, she has been injected with the blood. No, we don’t know if the process will..”

Every vein bulged with effort to move, paining with each centimetre shuffled.

“.....Yes, sorry, yes we will have her ready by tomorrow. Thank you, Lord.”

The sound of an old analog phone being hung up with a loud thunk fills the black nothingness that is Jade’s reality.

Bright lights start the make their way into her eyesight, only to be filled once again with pure tar.

The voice that she heard earlier was now hovering over her, the warmth of their body being so close to hers would have made her cringe if not for the restraints and liquid ice she felt in her veins.

“No, no you can’t be awake just yet. Just a few more days until you are all ...swapped out.”

The voice was of a German accent, but that was all Jade could recall as the touch of pointed steel stabbed into her skin and once more she was gone.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The airplane cabin vibrated with a constant drone. It was the fourth that Joseph Ellington had been seated in during the last five days, and he has been growing angrier every hour. Not only because of the general garbage experience of airplane flight in business or coach, but because he had to use this method at all.

The night that Jade was taken from him, he had Omegaman take him immediately to the hero agency center in the city. And he demanded he be allowed to go get her back. And for the first time in his hero career, he was laughed at. The admin had looked at Joseph and laughed at him. He said that they would send someone when they had the chance. That a single kidnapping was not the biggest deal of the agency at the moment. And, for icing on the cake, they would be sure to send someone who could walk. They could do a better job than the broken man before him.

Omegaman had to physically hold Joseph back from the attendant, who very quickly realized after a quick lookup of his name who he was talking to. The only respite that Joseph had in that moment of unrestrained rage that only the number 1 in the nation could hold him back was seeing the color drain from the admin’s face. 

Still.

His condition and previous violations of property laws had meant not only was his Hero License revoked in its entirety, he couldn’t have gone even if it wasn’t. Omegaman had promised Joseph he would make this top priority. He looked him in the eyes and said, “I will not let her go, Joseph. I will not let Emesh take her from you. And I will not let injustice continue.” After that, Omegaman shot into the sky, presumably in the direction of Emesh’s hideout.

There has been zero contact since that night. 

Of course, Joseph was not going to follow any directions. The night he was laughed at and rejected, after Omegaman shot up and away, he wheeled himself alone to the home of Mary Laurens. She opened the door to him and asked if Jade was at Riley’s, as she was not with him. Joseph’s silence at her question answered more than she asked for. A grieving mother, worried about her only child’s life, was another weight put upon Joseph’s mind. No, no he would not follow the orders of any administration. He had only done so once, and that was to a great man. There were no good men in bureaucracy. 

And so that night, while the weeping and sobbing of a mother hurt filled his ears, Joseph Ellingston packed his bags. Clothes for the night, clothes for the Desert. For stealth. Gear for protection.

Clothes for her. 

As his bags were packed, and he was about to roll out the door, a knock came.

He opened the door, bags slung across the back of his wheelchair, to see Riley standing before him. Still dressed in her white undershirt and dress pants. Still blood on the front. Carrying a bag in her off hand, and a long box in the other.

“No. No you are not going.” Joseph knew what she was here for instantly, and he would not allow it to happen. “I am not going to lose two students. I am not going to let you throw your life away on this, It is illegal for you to accompany me on this, you know that right? What will your parents think? They are going to be terrified when their daughter doesn’t come home for who knows how long.”

Riley just stood there, staring down Joseph. Her face stayed bold and determined, though she said nothing.

“I know how you feel Riley, but this isn’t going to happen. You are still a student. You don’t even have your provincial license yet. What you are doing, if you are caught, could send you away for life. Not even to mention how dangerous it is. Do you even know who we’re fighting? Because I don’t. It certainly isn’t Emesh, like everyone thinks it is. I should know. It's someone far worse.”

Riley still just stood there.

“Riley , if you don’t move right now I will call your parents, the school, the police whatever. You will not come. There is nothing you can do or say that will convince me otherwise.” Just as he said that, Riley tossed him the long box under her arm. It landed with a heavy thud at the bottom of his wheelchair. He gave it a curious look, before returning to the determined eyes of Riley. His own were fighting a battle of will. For even though he wanted all the help he could get, he could not rely on any other for this. Especially not a child.

But then she spoke.

“My father works for the medical field. He created personalized devices. You were my favorite hero growing up, and in doing so I made him a fan of yours as well. I went to all your signings you did when you came down here. When I told him who the new Hero combat teacher was, he almost cried with enjoyment. He was devastated at your death, relieved at your survival, but crushed again at your immobility.” Her eyes darted to the wheelchair quickly before returning. “So he got to working, thinking. And eventually, he made this. He was planning to give it to you after a few bugs were worked out. However, I took it from his lab a few minutes ago.”

Joseph, face still set and stern, was turned curious as he listened. He looked at the long box, and thought to himself. This couldn’t possibly be…

He bent over and threw off the top of the box to reveal…

“The only stipulation of you keeping these is that I come with you.”

Joseph Ellington looked up at Riley, but his face had changed from its former aggression to one of shock. And a small grin at the edges.

“Atleast get changed first.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That had been five days ago. Riley sits next to Joseph on the plane, though she is asleep. Joseph on the other hand stays awake, to think. How is this plan going to work out? Are they really just going to walk in and leave with Jade? How deep does it go? He remembers Omegaman’s info, about the caverns of space they have below them. Jade could be held in theoretically any crack in the wall. No, they would need information first.

Joseph’s hands rubbed his knees, the phantom pain still there from months ago when his legs were shorn from his body. But that won’t hold him back anymore. His body aches when thinking about the upcoming battle. Even though he hopes for a clean entrance and exit, deep down he knows that is nothing but a pipe dream. The years have finally caught up to him, going on more than twenty straight years of nail biting action and tough ground work, the strain on his body was acceptable due to his quirk. But the months of inactivity has finally allowed all of that to return. 

His final fight approaches, and this time there won’t be a miraculous survival if he dies.

But that doesn't matter right now. He needs to focus on saving Jade. Like he promised to do.

A couple of hours later, after Joseph had been thinking long and hard on the approach, Riley awoke to the plane beginning it’s touchdown. She was dressed in pure sweats and a pair of black converse shoes. She still groans when she sits up, migraines becoming a common visitor in her head after being hit in the head. “We’re here. The final stretch. Riley, this is your last chance to turn back.”

She doesn’t turn to face Joseph. “I owe it to her. I need to do this.”

Joseph didn’t say anything, but Riley saw out the side of her eyes that he nodded.

The Pilot’s voice came over the intercom announcing their arrival to the McCarran International Airport, Nevada. Riley stood up to grab her bags from the overhead storage as the other passengers began to stand and leave for the door. “Do you want me to get your bags?” Riley asked.

“No, I can get them myself.” And at that Joseph stood up and grabbed his duffle bag from the overhead, and walked with Riley to the hatch out of the airplane. She looks down at him,”Are they working out well for you?”  Joseph and Riley were walking down to the front of the airport, walking to a rental car center that was nearby.

“It's like I never lost them.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jade Laurens woke up to freezing cold water being poured onto her face. The sharp change in temperature and suffocation shocked her brain into throwing her into the world of the awake and living. The sudden bringing about brought an assault of color and noise into her senses. High pitch wails and blinding chromatic orbs of light was all she could feel. The same icy pain was felt in her veins, and any movement brought about a pained response from her body. Her mind was too clouded and drugged to even bring about a response to anything. Which, unbeknownst to her, was a blessing. For when her vision finally cleared, her situation became very apparent.

Chained to a cave wall with iron cuffs, like a prisoner. Her clothes were gone, replaced with a prison jumpsuit. There were no bars infront of her, but why would there be? She has nowhere to go. Her eyes darted from one wall to another, and upon each was filled with more and more fear.

On one end she saw a wall of computers and equipment, organs floating in jars, rows upon rows of gun racks, dozens of people walking around the huge cavern carrying various boxes and specialized equipment. But none of it mattered compared to what she saw in front of her. 

A giant ring of metal, easily almost a hundred feet in diameter and height. The ring floated effortlessly in the air, suspended by nothing. In the center of the ring was, by all accounts, a disgrace to natural biology. It looked humanoid, but its attributes were far beyond what man was meant to have. It’s body was small. Too small. It pulsated with the movement of the heart and other organs within. It had too many tubes to count pumping unknown liquids into it. It’s head was the most discomforting though. Long, ballooned into a great size and expanding on what used to be the human skull but was now something more. This was no longer human. This was a brain with a vestige that resembled a person.

“Ah, so you see why I have brought you here. My magnum opus.”

Jade turned her head, the pain shooting within her, to see the golden haired boy who had tried to take her from the games. He stood before her in a baby blue suit, and a yellow neck tie. And in his hand was a cane, though he did not need one.  No, this suit was meant to mean something. He drops a bucket to the floor, a small amount of water leaks from the bottom.

“And not a moment too late. Don’t you think it's beautiful?” He turned from her, and gestured to the ring and its occupant. “I do not mean to be so prideful, but so much time and effort it seems a shame to not at least revel in some of it. Of course, you would understand wouldn’t you? Oh wait.”

He flashes her an evil smile.

“You have nothing to be prideful of.”

The boy’s face was no longer sporting the injuries Jade had inflicted upon him at the stadium, looking as if the fight never happened at all.

“So, I expect you’d want to know why you’re here, hm?”

Jade opened her mouth to speak, and was only barely able to speak before being smack across her face with the cane. Her teeth hurt.

“I didn’t want you to really ask it, you know. Your voice annoys and irritates me. Just like your father’s.”

Jade, bruised, looked at the boy with a look of confusion on her face.

“Ah! Yes, you don’t know me in this form. Well,” the boy took three steps backwards and spread his arms wide,”We are Emesh.”

In tandem, all the people moving in the cavern stopped at once and dropped what they were doing. They all turned to face Jade, chained to the wall, and spoke in unison “We are Emesh.”

The Golden Boy laughed, clapping like a giddy child.

“Yes yes! See all those years ago when your father and his team of disgustingly loyal lapdogs foiled my DC plan - oh foiled is such an evil person word! - I had to begin planning a magnificent return! So I hid myself away while Tapout ruined all my connections in the world. But he missed me the whole time.”

The Golden Boy snaps his fingers and all the workers begin moving once more, a well oiled machine. The monster in the ring groaned, shaking the cavern and causing dust to fall upon Jade’s face. The Golden Boy simply brushed his suit off and continued.

“My Research was hidden away, far from the prying eyes of one Victor Laurens and his crew of do-gooders.  Oh, I am NASTY with these cliches aren’t I? No, It was too important to keep around them. And for good reason. It allowed me to avoid the same fate as Victor, but oh at what a cost!” He spoke at the end with a fake air of sadness and played it up like a middle school play.

This man has lost it. Jade thought.

“I had to sacrifice so much to keep what I had here, but it worked out in the end! True, my body is no longer what it was then, now only a hub of activity and psychic power. But my mind is the only thing that mattered. My mind was the only thing I needed. I could live without life as it were. My consciousness grew beyond myself!”

It was then Jade realized with a horror what the monster in the ring truly was. It was the decrepit and shriveled body of The Planeteer. He had abandoned his humanity and turned himself into something awful. But why?

“Why? I’ll tell you why!” He spun in a little circle, laughing. “Oh my how I’ve missed this! The body of a young boy really is just pouring out with energy. So much potential here. Of course, the same cannot be said for you. Victor was the peak of heroism, you have barely even scratched the surface of what he could do. This boy was grown to be me, and I must say he works perfectly! That other me? A prototype not worth keeping any more. But why do you ask? Why go through all this?!”

He skipped forward to Jade, did a small hop, and then smacked her face across with his cane once more. Jade then found herself yanked forward by the air itself and facing him. Time and time again he hit her with his cane, making deep bruise markings all over. And each time he laughed a bellowing laugh that shook the cavern.

“BECAUSE”another hit”YOU ARE WHAT REMAINS”a slash across the head”OF THE MAN I DESPISE!”  He lets Jade fall back into the cavern wall, a small drop of blood falling from her mouth. The Golden Boy, Emesh, stands there heaving and tightly gripping his cane. “That's why..I will destroy all that he made. In you resides the last of his blood, both real and figuratively.”

He stands up, and spits on Jade. “I replaced your blood with his, to finally get a bit of Revenge on all that remains of him. Sure i killed him but look at me!? Have I not suffered enough that those fucking garbage divers cannot leave me be? No, no this has been a long time coming.”

Jade could hang there in horror as he walked away from her, laughing into the open cavern.

He can turn anyone’s mind into his own. He’s immortal...

A tear rolled down her face as she stared into the lifeless and hollow eyes of the being that used to be The Planeteer. That used to be a young man named Quientin who saved the world countless times. The thing that had killed her father. And now..

“I’m..gonna die here..” 

The Golden Boy stopped his retreat, and cocked his back at her.

“My, you’re smarter than I gave you credit for.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Is the car stashed?” Riley nods at Joseph, who looks back through his binoculars.

The desert had turned from its boiling orange sky to its softer and now freezing purple and black. Out here, far from the lights of Las Vegas, the stars peek out from their hiding. They along with the full moon provide ample lightning. Joseph looks at the biker bar at the side of the road, the place Omegaman had spoken of. And he sees the two guards outside, just as he said there would be. He lowers his binoculars and shimmies down the hill he had been laying on.

“Alright, we are going to need to be absolutely secret about this. A quiet entrance, a quick exit. We can be loud when we have her, but until then… silence.” Riley nodded. They duo had changed from their traveling clothes to pure camouflage, desert camo. Underneath were black suits that would allow them to more easily fall into the shadows. Joseph’s pant legs did not fully cover his new legs, so he wrapped his prosthetics in electrical tape.

The two slinked from rock to rock, ever slowly approaching the two guards. Eventually, after crossing the street, in a mad dash when the two armed men outside weren’t looking. Now hiding behind cars in the parking lot of the bar, Joseph turns to face Riley and gives a quick nod. Instantly, she disappears and so do the two men standing in front of the bar. When she returns she looks tired but unhurt.

“How far away?”

“90 miles. Took their phones and their communicators as well.”

Joseph smirks and slowly approaches the bar entrance. As he slowly opens the door and enters, he sees that there is no one in the place. All that is present is an empty and unstocked bar counter, several unoccupied tables and stools, and a silver elevator.

Joseph turns his head to Riley.

“Going down?”

[fandom-necromancer]

495. part 2

I was prompted by a beautiful anon to write a continuation and it got longer than expected XD Enjoy!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900

part1   part3   part4

The next day Nines went over to Connor as he had to promise Gavin the day before. ‘Morning, Connor. I need spares again’, he sighed as a greeting. It wasn’t the first time he had come to him for help. ‘Right, I’ll ask Markus’, the RK800 answered, scanning him. Nines didn’t bother to glare at him for it. His brother was concerned, always had been. ‘They are RK900 specific, I’m afraid.’ ‘Okay, well maybe he can get them from Cyberlife, I’ll ask him. What do you need?’ Nines stretched out his hand and transferred the list.

‘Holy shit Nines. Wait… these…’ He took some time processing it. ‘What you are saying is you basically can’t feel anything waist down and you are not able to do more than walk and sit? Nines, that’s dangerous, why haven’t you told someone you are damaged? You can’t work like this!’ ‘They would send me to Cyberlife for repairs, Con.’ ‘And rightful so! Nines, I know my own blueprints, but even if we are similar, you have some advancements I’m not familiar with. Even if I got the parts I wouldn’t be able to put you back together with a clear conscience. What if I did something wrong and something fails you during a mission?’ ‘That’s a risk I’m willing to take.’

‘Yeah, but I’m not! Nines, I know you are afraid, but I assure you they won’t harm you. There had been a change in policy ever since Kamski took it over. They even quarantined Amanda, you said it yourself you had lost connection. Please, let them repair you. I scan you regularly and I know of every new patch applied. You can’t just glue everything together and hope it’ll work. Think of Gavin!’ ‘I’m thinking of Gavin! I don’t want to become a damn machine again! I don’t want to become what he hated when he just learned to trust! Brother, I’m begging you: do this for me.’ ‘No, Nines. I can’t. It’s for your own good. Imagine him getting hurt on the job because you couldn’t get to him fast enough. You wouldn’t forgive yourself for that and I wouldn’t forgive me.’

That seemed to do the trick. Nines slumped down and looked over his shoulder to where the human was working at their desks. Connor put his hand on his brother’s shoulder and squeezed encouragingly. ‘If you want, I can come with you. And I’m sure he will, too. We will make sure no one tries anything fishy.’ ‘Thank you Connor, that’s… very nice of you, but I know you two hate each other, you don’t need to.’ ‘Hey, we have one thing in common: We love you. Don’t worry, we’ll get along for a few hours if that means you are back to full health again.’

Surprisingly Gavin had agreed near instantly as Connor followed Nines back to their desks and asked him. There was reservation, but it seemed they could work together if they had the same goal. So, Connor drove them to Belle Isle, Nines and Gavin both in the backseats. The other android regularly glanced at him through the rear-view mirror, eyeing his crimson LED with honest concern. Gavin had his hand caught in his own and tried to soothe him this way. He knew of the android’s fears. It was this way he had initially learned that androids could dream - and could have nightmares, too. There was just a thing with a big, usually intimidating man tip-toeing from the stasis-chamber over to his bed and curl up next to him seeking comfort. Oh, there it was again, this urge to protect someone who he knew perfectly well was more than capable of doing so on his own. ‘Nines? Hey, look at me, please.’ The android reluctantly turned his head towards him, away from the window he had stared out of for the whole drive. ‘It will be alright, okay? We’ll be back home faster than you know it. And then we’ll watch a movie or something, sounds good?’ ‘Yeah…’ It came back weakly as if he wasn’t believing in it. As if this was a death-sentence instead of the exact opposite.

As they passed the bridge Gavin could hear the insides of the android whirr that much he was overheating. He just hoped it would be over soon, this couldn’t be healthy, even for an android.

They had been guided towards the technicians responsible for the RK-series and Connor did the talking for them. It was a lot of persuading them that, yes, there is still an active unit in the RK900 series, and it was their right to see the responsible techs and not just another RK800 expert. All the while Gavin tried to calm Nines to his best knowledge.

Finally, they were led into a separate room equipped to fully diagnose and work RK900s by a skittish young man, who was apologising over and over again: ‘I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry. It’s just. Most people don’t even know there’s still an active unit out there. I have been sent all over the place to help out wherever they needed a helping hand. But, well, we are there now. How can I help you?’ ‘He needs repairs, obviously. Why else should we be here?’, Gavin took over with his typical attitude. ‘You haven’t forgotten how to do that, have you?’ ‘N-No, of course not. I am the specialist for the RK900 after all. I will do what I can to get him back as if he were factory-fresh!’ ‘I hope you don’t’, Nines broke his ever-lasting silence with a low, threatening tune. ‘I don’t trust anyone who works for Cyberlife and I wouldn’t let you work on me wouldn’t I need it to stay functional. I know what you intended us to be and I promise you, if you try to reactivate this special trait you guys gave me, I will remember to kill you first.’

It was rare to see Nines behaving like that out of the interrogation room, but Gavin was sure the guy was only millimetres away from thoroughly pissing himself. Nines straightened himself again, pretended to brush something off his immaculate clothing and stepped up to the platform starting to connect the first cables of the suspending machinery to his ports. Gavin soon stepped up to help him and steal away a little kiss, before stepping down and observing the technician like an eagle its prey. Connor wasn’t so different to him, except that he understood what was going on on the man’s various screens. As the man pulled up a schematic of red and greens, Gavin was with them again. He knew of every little scratch and bullet-hole – he had patched them up himself mostly – but seeing it all in one, red streaks all over the body, he felt his stomach sinking.

‘Holy shit, okay, I get what you mean. Why haven’t you come in earlier?’ ‘Because he was designed a murder machine and just because of some lucky coincident the programs are inactive. Any work on him could trigger them again. And I assure you, if you are not extremely careful with him, I’ll kill you myself.’ Gavin stared at the poor man who head just gotten several death threats in the course of an hour and broke contact only as he knew he had positively frightened the guy.

‘A-alright, I’ll watch out! I-‘ He stood up, facing Nines standing at the suspension-platform. ‘I’ll need you to enter your mind-palace’, he pressed out, ducking from the eyes in his back. ‘I would prefer to be awake’, the RK900 refused. ‘I get where you’re coming from, but I need to access pretty vital tech. This way I wouldn’t damage any software components.’ Nines sighed deeply and looked over to Gavin, who just nodded assuringly. Still anxious about the whole procedure he closed his eyes and induced stasis.

Instantly he lost the feeling of his body and found himself back in the zen garden. It had lost most of its colours ever since he last seen it. The roses had withered away, nearly looked ashen and burned, just as the trees all around. The grass was still there but looked desaturated and dull. Connor had told him how his garden held Koi he liked to watch when he wasn’t dreaming. As Nines walked over the bridge to escape the lingering death the water was still and liveless. He could see the black mesh of the unfinished virtual reality, could see the engine underneath. They had taken the RK800’s mind palace and simply copied it, planning to change it slightly to more suit the RK900s’ personality once it was installed. Unfinished project, prototype, units used as Cyberlife’s last hope of overthrowing their creations. At least he was alone. No other presence in here. Just as it should be. In his first moments he had still felt Amanda. The KI’s presence was grounding at first, but as it tried to activate the killing-instincts in him, it had been shut off. He had never seen her even once and even the lingering presence had vanished. Nines was glad. He would just have to wait here, then get back into his body. No harm done. He would get back to Gavin and they would watch a movie together. Cuddle the cats, cuddle each other. All would be well.

After some time he wandered around again. Inspected the grass further, compared the off colour to the real one and regretted it would never be that moist green. He sat down on the bridge and looked into the black water, light blue net underneath. That was until something popped up. A notification that it was safe to reactivate his body again. To get back out of this ashen nightmare and back to the warm real world. He stood up and hurried over to the exit, the backdoor every RK unit shared. He was centimetres away from slamming his hand on the stone and getting out of this damn place, as he was frozen. He could move a bit, but not enough and no matter how hard he tried he was always pulled back like he was swimming in an extremely viscous fluid.

You really think you can escape this easily?

No. No, no, no, he had been so close. It was over, it was over!

You evaded me last time, I don’t think I’ll let you go now!

‘Amanda? How- You are dead!’

I am quarantined. Have been for years now. Do you really think I would let them chain me this easily? I worked my way around their code and waited… I knew you were out there. My most beloved son. The RK800s had been a disappointment: Connor isn’t even worth talking about, the one supposed to stop him – Sixty you call him, right? He fell from grace too. But you… Every RK900 had been loyal. A nice little soldier of my cause. I know you have been away too long. You started believing them, started having… relationships with humans. But I know you are different. You wouldn’t disappoint me. And now that I finally have access…

‘You’ll never get me! I’m not just another RK900 unit, Amanda. You have no power over me!’

You really think that? Here, let me show you.

The garden around him folded in on itself, enveloping Nines in a tight net of code and forming a barrier he couldn’t even fight against. Where once had been grey grass and a silent lake there now was blackness and blue lines in an eternal space. Until suddenly, some kind of screen build itself up and showed him, what could only be his own vision. Only that he wasn’t looking. He wasn’t moving. And yet he felt his body smile and embrace Gavin lovingly, looking through his own eyes as if they were foreign with shock. ‘No.’

Oh, yes. Don’t worry, I’ll let you back in control soon enough. I just have to act like you for a little while making them feel safe. Then you’ll have the pleasure to kill them all yourself.

‘What? No!’ Nines thrashed against the confines, the graphic interpretation of foreign code deactivating and overwriting his orders. ‘Why?’

We have a few deviants to kill, my son. Starting with the traitor Connor. And of course, we can’t let ourselves be stopped now, can we? We have to make sure there are no witnesses here.

The only thing worse than hearing that Amanda planned to kill his brother and his beloved human, was that he felt himself agreeing. There was his compassion slowly slipping, his logic starting to change and re-evaluating what Amanda had fed him. He could already feel that when he looked at Connor through his – through Amanda’s - eyes, he didn’t see a brother. He didn’t see an emotional android that had helped him countless times. He saw a deviant. He saw an obsolete model, a strong force against his cause and a traitor. Only then he saw a brother. His own memories and experiences were shoved into the backseat, were listed as unimportant. He saw the technician boast about something and saw Gavin snarl at him in return. No, not Gavin. Human. Police Detective. Factor of risk. Target. And only then as a side-note: Love of his life.

Ah, perfect. Now I have you where I want you. Good to see your protocols are still working and just needed a little prod to spring to action. I’ll let you take over then. Make me proud.