#but considering ele got to tell him herself

[pinkeoni]

I have another take on the monologue. Walk with me.

And I’m not saying that my interpretation is the correct one, but rather, I’d like to look at it from another angle and consider another possibility.

With the script coming out and the monologue recieving all of this renewed attention, I’m starting to think that maybe El did believe Mike’s monologue.

And this isn’t just me looking at the script as proof. And while yes, the script did say that she believed it, you can’t take what’s on the page as cold hard proof versus what is on the screen, BUT I do think that what we do see on screen supports this idea.

Oh, I still think that Mike was lying out of his ass, and many have already elaborated on that idea so I don’t really want to rehash it here. We as the audience know that Mike is lying because we get a much clearer view of everything, but El does not get that view. We heard Mike say in the van that meeting her was just dumb luck, El did not.

While we also know that Mike’s reasoning for not saying “I love you” comes from his internal struggles, El’s belief as to why Mike couldn’t say comes from her own inner turmoil. She believed that Mike couldn’t say it because she saw herself as a monster. She has no idea about Mike’s personal struggles and doesn’t really consider it a possibility just because she is too in her head. I elaborate more in this post about El’s dichotomous thinking and how it drives her in this season.

It might be different if, say, El questioned Mike if there was someone else, that would definitely send a different message. But this isn’t El believing that Mike is love with someone else. This is El believing that she is unlovable.

But if she did believe him, shouldn’t she have looked happy? Wouldn’t she be closer with him and not giving him the cold shoulder? Wouldn’t they have a conversation after to reconcile their feelings?

And I agree. This is not the face of someone who is happy to finally hear “I love you” from her boyfriend.

But it’s not because she didn’t believe him. It’s because she realized it’s not what she wants to hear because she is not in love with him.

I talked about it more in this post where I discuss some Elmike and Stobin parallels. Here’s the main point I want to draw attention to:

I don’t think El is intentionally lieing about her feelings. I think she felt this hole ever since Hopper left, and believed that Mike’s love was supposed to fix everything. That Mike’s love is what she wants to hear. And then she finally hears it, and realizes it’s not what she wants. So maybe the face she is making during the monologue isn’t out of dissapointment, maybe it’s out of realization and guilt.

This would be a perfect parallel to the end of season 3, which I talk about here—

—and I pretty much agree with everything I said before.

And think about it, if El did believe what Mike was saying, that would make this line—

—so much worse than it already was.

Maybe El believed Mike in that moment, and maybe it did give her enough strength to break free of Vecna’s grasp, but the important thing is that she fails.

And what does El’s dichotomous thinking tell us about how she’s thinking afterward? If she’s not a superhero, then she must be a monster. She got her powers back, her boyfriend loves her, and yet she’s still a monster. Everything that she believed would solve her problems, didn’t. So what can she now?

I think when El side eyes Mike in the cabin it can be read through this lens of guilt as well. How can she bring herself to tell the guy that fell madly in love with her at first sight, that she doesn’t feel the same way? Especially when this guy sees her as a superhero, the thing that El wants her to be? Would breaking up mean losing the superhero title along with the girlfriend title?

I guess I like this interpretation because it shifts the focus to both Mike and El’s internal conflicts, rather than placing their relationship faults on the other person. Mike isn’t a nerd who is hopelessly in love with someone who is disinterested because she is way cooler than him, and El isn’t hopelessly in love with a gay guy who can’t love her back (even though he is a gay guy imo). They are both not in love with each other, and it has nothing to do with the other person.

And what great irony would that be if they were in the exact same position. They both believed that what they wanted from the other person was their love, and it wasn’t until they got it when that cold hard truth would hit them across the face. Now they are in this awkward position where they believe the other person is in love with them, and they both care too much to actually break the truth to the other person. It’s perfect.

[dysfunctionalupsidedown]

An Analysis Of "STurn": My Turn

Hello, everyone! This is my first real post/analysis of anything Stranger Things related, so please keep that in mind while reading. I'm sure there are quite a few analyses about this playlist already (I'm definitely late to the party,) but I still wanted to add my two cents.

Feel free to let me know if any information I've provided is incorrect. My main source is Genius.com, which isn't at all the most reliable; even still, it'll help to give a clearer picture of each track's meaning and how the general public (which includes Finn) interprets them. I'm attempting to go by what I think Finn's intentions were.

Also, don't forget that this analysis was done under the assumption that the "STurn" playlist is a somewhat play-by-play outline of how specifically Mike Wheeler's S5 arcs might happen. The playlist could be entirely unrelated to ST5. It could be related to all the characters and arcs in ST5. It could be out of order, or based on vibes -- We really have no way of knowing until the full season comes out.

Finally, I tried my best to keep the analysis somewhat objective and reasonable, and I hope I've at least partly succeeded. This is all in good fun, in the end. Now that I've finished housekeeping, please enjoy my thoughts and feel free to chime in with your ideas in the comments! I'm always open to changing my perspective.

1. Ballad of the Texas King

Let's begin! This song starts with the lyrics, "No one saw / Nothing at all, no law was there to fight / All dressed down / Walkin' out in the California night". I believe this is a more surface-level vibe-setting song, considering where Mike ended in S4. It may also imply that the start of S5 begins where S4 left off. A lot of car imagery is also present throughout, which was a big part of Mike's S4 journey.

There are ideas of being separated as well, with lyrics like "My heart won't beat / 'Til we meet again together". This may allude to Mike's feelings towards the end of S4, having been separated from Hawkins/his family.

2. What You're Doing - Remastered 2009

Genius.com claims this song was written about Paul McCartney's then-rocky relationship at the time. The lyrics make this very clear, so there's really no alternate angle from which I can read. Let me know in the comments if you interpreted it differently.

In specific, the lyrics "You got me running / And there's no fun in it / Why should it be so much to ask of you / What you're doing to me?", "Please stop your lying / You got me crying, girl", and "I've been waiting here for you / Wondering what you're gonna do / And should you need a love that's true / It's me" really intrigue me. This could refer to Mike's relationship.

The song suggests that the partner may be withdrawing in multiple ways, with the singer grieving over it and attempting to prove their love. El may be starting to distance herself, and Mike could be struggling with it. At the end of S4, El was understandably focused on her failure, to the point where she hadn't really spoken to Mike in the days following it.

I don't think it would be surprising if everything was too much and she ends up pushing herself away from him. I wouldn't say it's implying a break-up, but maybe distancing issues.

3. After The Earthquake

Again, it's pretty surface-level in the beginning. There was a devastating earthquake in-universe, which supports the theory that "STurn" connects to ST5 in some way. The song tells a story, though, and I recommend looking up it's inspiration.

Despite the choice seeming surface-level at first, After The Earthquake may be implying more for Mike in ST5. Genius.com's contributors interpret the song's narrative as, "[Molly Rankin applying the] concept of post-catastrophe clarity to a couple that got into a major disagreement before one of them falls into a coma from a car crash... In a metaphorical sense, [the song] could describe a more mild situation in which Rankin must put their conflict on hold because something more important turns up." I don't think it's too far-fetched to say that Finn picked up on this. The idea of a disagreeing couple and coma is also prevalent in ST, but like I said in the beginning, I'm going to try to connect these songs to Mike Wheeler specifically.

Although this may be me reading too deeply into it, the metaphorical meaning of the track pairs pretty well with the implications of What You're Doing. It also fits in well narratively, considering that more important things are happening aside from the drama -- the earthquake being one of them. Mike could be putting all of his current issues (internal-conflict-related, relationship, or otherwise) on hold for the moment. He continues to struggle with suppressing his problems later on in the playlist, as well.

4. Promises I've Made

This song is about mourning a lost or ex-lover. The opening lyrics, "Ever since you have gone, the days don't seem so bright / And I wish I could forget you but I can't / Ever since you have gone, I haven't felt quite right / And I promised I'd forget all that you meant" address this quite directly.

At this point, it's possible that Mike has either been broken up with or the pair have gone their separate ways for some reason. It wouldn't be too crazy to say something like that will occur and he'll grieve it, keeping in mind that one of Mike's main fears is losing El. I just don't know why they'd continue to make it the subject of conflict in S5 (unless it hasn't been fully resolved yet.)

Physical distance between the two also makes sense when considering that Mike is, supposedly, teaming up with other characters next season. Personally, I'm leaning slightly more towards a break-up because of what the previous songs have set up, but, ultimately, it's up to interpretation. It's possible they've just been physically distanced while in a bad spot.

5. Angst In My Pants

This song is about a person attempting to be someone they're not, suppressing who they really are, and it ultimately leading to dissatisfaction. The lyrics, "You can dress nautical / Learn to tie knots / Take lots of Dramamine / Out on your yacht" describe a faux lifestyle one lives that only serves to hurt them in the end: The idea of putting on a self-harming persona. This could be what Mike is going through in S5, and his teased wardrobe change from S4 supports this.

The lyrics, "I hope it doesn't show / It'll go away / It's just a passing phase / It'll go away" and, "I hope it doesn't show / It'll go 'way / Give it a hundred years / It won't go 'way" are particularly fascinating and can have multiple interpretations.

For one, it could be Mike trying to hide his real personality following Eddie's death and the collective panic by acting out a more "normal" and "idealized" life -- painfully repressing his true self in the process. This is supported by the lyrics I first discussed. Hiding and embracing differences is a theme in Stranger Things, and I wouldn't be surprised if this is where they take Mike in S5.

Another interpretation involves the previous lyrics, as well as, "But when you think you made it disappear / It comes again, 'Hello, I'm here'". This sounds more like someone trying and failing to suppress a thought. Coupled with "It's just a passing phase", it appears to be a feeling or belief instead of someone's true personality, although I do believe that's a big part of it, too.

Whatever it may be, Mike is definitely struggling with something at this point. He's pushing it down, hiding it, and hoping "..it doesn't show" and that "It'll go away".

6. The Better Side - Audiotree Live Version

Half way through! This one gave me more of a challenge because there aren't any written lyrics to analyze. From what I can gather, the track is about a person yearning for someone who is a better fit(?) The lyrics that best support this interpretation are, "You're on the better side / You're always the better one for me" and "Don't make me do the falling when I'm drinking of you". Again, if you have any alternate interpretations, please let me know. I'd like to take all ideas into account.

The final lyrics are interesting, "And you're all that I need / I'm not gonna miss you anymore". This can be read as the narrator longing to accept a person into their life and bring them closer. I'm especially interested in the final line because it implies there was something to miss, as if an emotional rift or gap was there.

Mike has come to a realization about something, as shown in Angst In My Pants, and it might partly be about a new thought he's trying to push down, "It'll go away". It's possible the "thought" is about newly developing feelings he isn't ready to accept(?) I don't want to say for certain, though. Nonetheless, it seems like he recognizes this person's importance and "better fit" for him, despite trying to repress it. A fairly surface-level read, but it's the only conclusion I'm able to come to.

Alternatively, it might be about El. The distance apart could be what gets him to solidify how he feels about her. However, Angst In My Pants and multiple songs establishing a separation precede The Better Side. The track is about a better option, as well. Those facts alone make me think of this interpretation as unlikely, so it's not one I personally hold.

7. Don't Ask Me to Explain

Don't Ask Me to Explain is about two people who are afraid to confess their true feelings to one another, so instead they hide them; with one of the two seemingly more uncertain. It's also, from what I've researched, supposedly about two people of the same gender. There's a possibility that this is irrelevant to the track's purpose in the playlist, but I kept it in mind considering the other songs and my personal interpretation. It's also important to note that these "true feelings" could be about a multitude of things.

The lyrics, "How will I ever know you enough to love you / If you're hiding who you are?", "How am I supposed to let it show / When I don't even know?", and, "Besides, I don't want to be the one who's coming out first / I'd really like to but I'm just too shy" support this reading.

I interpreted the last line, "It's so easy to laugh to myself / And pretend that I could love you but I can't" in two different ways. Either it's the narrator doubting their feelings for someone else, or it's the narrator recognizing that they can't let themselves embrace their love for someone, for one reason or another.

As for Mike, his progression makes the most sense to me in the following interpretation. There are multiple and, again, please let me know your ideas in the comments. I narrowed it down to just the one so I don't start nit-picking.

Mike went from a realization, "It's just a passing phase / It'll go away" (Angst In My Pants) to a sort of acceptance, "You're always the better one for me" (The Better Side) to struggling to admit it out loud, "How am I supposed to let it show / When I don't even know?"

An LGBTQ+ or "new love interest" interpretation is what I'm able to gather from this. It could describe Mike falling for 'someone' and not knowing how to be open about it due to fear and doubt; with the other person feeling the same way. It may be a surface-level reading, and I'm sure there are several other ways to interpret the track, but that's what I've been able to conclude thus far.

8. What Do You Want Me To Do?

This one might be the most difficult for me to figure out, but I'm going to try.

The song and the lyrics, "You walked out, took your chance / You turned your back on our romance / You said you found somebody new / You said the change'd do you good" and "You never even gave me a thought / You figured that would be all right / I nevеr had a chance to persuade you / You nеver let me put up a fight" remind me a lot of What You're Doing.

One way to look at it is that it might have the same purpose as What You're Doing -- adding a sort of angsty frustration vibe. I don't know if it would be used to set up a "come crawling back" moment because I don't think that would make sense (especially in Stranger Things), but it's a random possibility I'm throwing out there.

Alternatively, the 'person' that Mike has feelings for could have rejected him for someone else(?) Again, I don't think this would make much narrative sense in Stranger Things, but we don't know what the next season's going to look like.

I'm personally reading it as the former because there are other songs in the playlist used to set the tone. Keeping What You're Doing and Promises I've Made in mind, an additional break-up song is on theme. There's still the possibility of another conflict, though. If anyone else has different thoughts on what the song could be implying, I'd appreciate the input.

9. Substitute - Live

This track is about an idealized version of someone being put in place of their true self. The narrator describes a scenario in which their partner sees a version of them, "I'm a substitute for another guy / I look pretty tall but my heels are high / The simple things you see are all complicated / I look bloody young, but I'm just back-dated, yeah", that is unrealistic and put on, as seen in the lyrics "Substitute your lies for fact / I see right through your plastic mac / I look all white, but my dad was black / My fine-looking suit is really made out of sack" The couple also seem to be having issues with this, or in general, that they're not addressing, "It's a genuine problem, you won't try / To work it out at all, just pass it by, pass it by"

The concept of a guise applies well to Mike, as referenced in Angst In My Pants. A recurring theme of hiding oneself really makes me think Mike is going to completely abandon his interests for a different lifestyle. I believe Finn has also mentioned that Mike wants to be as "normal" as possible, so I can't wait to see where they take that idea. It could also be him realizing how he's been acting, and admitting that this "romanticized" version isn't true to him. I have hope that Mike will eventually learn to embrace his differences and what he enjoys.

While this part is a bit nit-picky, I feel it's fun to mention that the song was inspired by a lyric in The Tracks of My Tears by Smokey Robinson; the lyric being, "Although she may be cute / She's just a substitute". The line following this (which is also referenced in Substitute's Genius.com entry) is, "Because you're the permanent one". Funnily enough, these lyrics also fit into the narrative the playlist is laying out. They remind me a lot of what The Better Side represents.

Out of context, the lines from The Tracks of My Tears may imply that someone is either using another person as a substitute for an ex, or that someone is realizing they've been using their previous partner as a substitute for someone better. Both routes have the potential to happen in ST5. Although, I don't know if the idea of a literal substitute fits with what The Who was going for. The Tracks of My Tears is also not on "STurn", so take this part as a fun fact with a grain of salt on the side.

At the end of the day, we don't know Finn's motivation for adding Substitute, so this is what we'll have to go off of for now. I feel as though the former interpretation, a less literal "substitute," holds the most merit considering the theme of personas.

10. The Rebel Kind

Like The Better Side, I couldn't find any lyrics, so I'm doing it by ear. Though, I'm happy to say that this song is about a desire to embrace differences and rebellion. "We'll be free to run with the rebel kind" and "It's not easy, but I don't mind / I just want to run with the rebel kind" establish that. The track appears to tie into Mike's insecurity struggles throughout the playlist.

The lyric "They call us the rebel kind" hints to the panic brewing at the end of S4. Mike might start to embrace and stand behind his true self at whatever point this is in the season. The line following, "But they don't understand / The things a man must do to prove that he's a man", can be taken in different ways depending on how the lyrics are read.

It could be the narrator's struggle to keep up with societal norms before finally giving in to their truth instead of trying to conform, read as "they call us rebels but don't get how hard it is to for us to keep up." On the other hand, it could be the narrator commenting on how society doesn't understand people like them, and, by embracing their true self, it proves more about who they are than conforming ever would; read as, "you think we're the rebellious ones, but you don't understand that we're more self-secure and strong than you'll ever be."

I can see both of these interpretations working for Mike and his connection to the Party. The progression of insecurity in Angst In My Pants and potential realization of this guise in Substitute is wrapped up by Mike's self-acceptance here. I really hope this is how it plays out in S5.

11. Block Rockin' Beats

There's not much to analyze because this track has one repeated line of lyrics, but it's definitely here to set a tone. The song may have a similar vibe-setting purpose as What Do You Want Me To Do? and Ballad of the Texas King. That's just my theory, though. (A ST5 theoryyy!)

Perhaps this is a climax of sorts where the cast fight the "big bad." The music's tone is intense and sort of aggressive. It's definitely a fun addition to the playlist, whatever the song's purpose in it may be.

12. Just What I Needed

Finally, we have Just What I Needed. I read this song in two different ways.

The first way I interpreted it was as a love song about the narrator not caring about who this person is, and realizing they need them in spite of it all. The lyrics, "It's not the perfume that you wear / It's not the ribbons in your hair / And I don't mind you comin' here / And wastin' all my time", "Cause when you're standin' oh so near / I kinda lose my mind, yeah", and "I needed someone to bleed / Yeah, yeah, so bleed me" support this.

The second possible reading is that the narrator realizes they were/are in a codependent relationship and they still love the person. The lyrics, "I guess you're just what I needed / I needed someone to feed / I guess you're just what I needed / I needed someone to bleed" and "I don't mind you hangin' out / And talkin' in your sleep / It doesn't matter where you've been / As long as it was deep, yeah", could be read as more of a "you're what I needed at the time, but I still love you and want you in my life." With this reading, it's unclear whether or not the love is romantic or platonic. Maybe I'm looking too far into it, but this is what some Genius.com contributors brought up, and it would feel wrong to not include this understanding of the song.

I'm just assuming, since The Rebel Kind seemed to tie up Mike's self-security problem, that this track is supposed to imply a resolution with his romantic issues. Under that impression, there are a few ways we can look at it.

It could be an acceptance for who he has feelings for. He went from mourning a loss in Promises I've Made, noticing something and hoping it goes away in Angst In My Pants, potentially coming to terms with the fact that this person is his "better" choice in The Better Side, wanting to admit a truth but feeling doubtful in Don't Ask Me to Explain, comprehending that he's able to embrace his authentic self in The Rebel Kind, to now admitting, possibly out loud, that this person was "just what [he] needed". That could be far-fetched, but it's just what I picked up on throughout the playlist.

However, it may also pertain to his self-identity struggle that's hinted at throughout (can you tell that I love this part of Mike?) while also tying into his romance issues. He went through a difficult separation with someone in What You're Doing and Promises I've Made, put on a persona and suppressed his true self in Angst In My Pants, realized he couldn't keep it going and needed to address it in Substitute, embraced himself in The Rebel Kind, and now recognizes that the relationship may have been codependent and holding him back from fully dropping the facade: "I guess you're just what I needed" -- in the moment. I don't know if that's too in-depth of a read, but it's a possibility.

While not relevant to the playlist in it's context, it's fun to bring up the fact that Just What I Needed was apparently also the final track listed on the 'official' "Will's Castle Byers Classics" playlist created by Spotify. It's not available anymore, so I can't really say it as a fact. Although, recreations of the playlist have been made long before "STurn" was a thing, and the song was added as the last track as far back as 2018. I suppose that's proof enough that it was at least on the playlist.

Finn listing it as the final track may be a reference to "Will's Castle Byers Classics", but it's also likely that there's no association. That's why I gave the song an equal amount of analysis instead of writing it off as a reference. As to how canon those playlists are, I don't think it particularly matters. It's true that Finn could've seen Just What I Needed in the Will playlist and put it on "STurn", thinking of it as a fun easter egg. There could or could not be implications for that and I'd be remiss to ignore it. I don't know if this rings true for any of the other songs on "STurn" as well -- if they're connected to any other character playlists. Feel free to let me know if they are!

TL;DR

This was really hefty post, and I apologize for that, so here's a summary/recap of what I think S5 may have in store for Mike Wheeler.

Summary:

The season likely starts off at the end of S4, with us seeing Mike react to everything that's happened in Hawkins and reuniting with his family. Tension or unresolved conflicts may be arising in his relationship(s) as well, but he puts it aside to focus on the more important tasks at hand. Either his relationship is put aside with this, or there's an eventual separation that occurs, and he mourns it. After, he tries to maintain normalcy and puts on a guise to appease others. During this time, he may start to have a realization about something that he attempts to repress. He eventually comes to terms with it, though, recognizing that there's someone (maybe something?) better for him. He wants to admit to these true feelings, but he'll struggle with hiding, doubting, and fearing them; thinking he can't allow himself to fully love this person or, at least, admit to whatever feelings or "truth" he possesses. Mike will most likely continue to struggle with mixed feelings and hiding his true personality after this, eventually admitting to not being fully authentic. He'll then accept his true self for what it is. This will lead into a climax, where the main conflict of the show will be resolved. Finally, he'll accept and admit his true feelings, realizing that all he needed to do in the end was be entirely honest with (and about) himself.

In Conclusion

I really want this to be where they take Mike in ST5. It would be such a satisfying thing to watch, especially with how he's acted the past two seasons. I think he deserves to have a self-love/acceptance arc because the show has made it clear he's insecure and inauthentic.

Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! Please let me know your thoughts and interpretations in the comments, as well as if there's anything you think I should add/fix. I'd love to hear what others have to say about "STurn" and it's connections to ST :)!

[mikesgaylittlethoughts]

'when blue and yellow meet in the west'

Hello byler tumblr (if you're seeing this)! This is a remake of an old post of mine about the (byler-centric) color coding in the show !! I wanted to remake it cuz I read it again recently and have some new thoughts about it. Sorry if this is all a bit redundant.

At this point we all know about the blue and yellow thing. Mike's color is blue, Will's color is yellow.

This will be a post analysing the use of colors in their outfits and enviroments, and what those colors could mean and possibly tell us.

⭑ Season 1:

The first time we see them, Mike is wearing a fully blue sweater while Will sports a plaid, blue and yellow shirt.

When Mike first met El, he was wearing a blue hoodie in basically the same shade as his sweater (the outfit he chose to go looking for Will), and El was wearing a yellow shirt.

That's actually really interesting, considering Mike's s4 v2 monologue where he says he fell in love with El at first sight. This was their first sight, back when most people (including Mike) thought El was a boy, when several people mistook her for Will, and when she was wearing Will's color. The yellow Benny's Burgers t-shirt is actually one of the main things Mike remembers from that day.

After meeting El and bringing her home, the sweater he gives her is his blue sweater.

This is the start of a theme that was brought to my attention in @62percentmaplesyrup 's post (sorry for the tag and thank you so much for the help!), where El wears blue, Mike's color, to appease to him.

El's actual color is pink, or red. It's the color that makes her feel the most like herself. When she sees herself in that dress, she finally feels pretty.

Going back a few episodes to episode 2, when Mike is bonding with El for the first time, his outfit gains red tones, which makes sense now that we know it's Eleven's color.

It has a few streaks of yellow, but it's still mostly blue. The way I see it, yellow details can signify his bond and connection with Will, just like green. He was getting to know El, but she also signified hope for them to be able to find Will.

The night they find Will's fake body in the quarry and the day after, Mike wears a green and black shirt. Green, his and Will's colors, and black, the traditional color of mourning.

His shirt is white, red and yellow when they go out to look for the gate. Yellow for Will being in his mind, and red for the trust he puts in El to help them find him, as she brought them hope once again.

Unfortunately, he has a bad fight with Lucas regarding El, in which she panics and accidentally hurts him, cue Mike's "what's wrong with you" part 2, and El running away. Mike's hope for finding Will is gone once again, and the shirt he wears after that is white, green and yellow.

Then we have the quarry scene. Troy threatens Dustin with a knife and tells Mike to jump into the quarry if he wants to save Dustin's teeth.

Mike jumps. He jumps into the quarry where Will's body was found, while wearing a green jacket with blue accents.

He was still wearing this same shirt during his first kiss with El,

and when they got Will back.

I went into a lot of detail during this season just for us to have a basis to continue. I won't add as much content from the next seasons, I'll only try to get some key points, for the sake of clarity and this not becoming tedious and boring.

⭑ Season 2:

The arcade scene, aka Mike not giving a damn about Princess Daphne and being worried about Will, happened with Mike and Will wearing shirts with matching blue, red and white stripes, which is adorable. Will wore a green jacket and Mike's is kind of blue?

Mike not giving a damn about Max and being worried about Will (pt2) had him in blue with red stripes.

The red stripes make a lot of sense, as although Will was his priority, El was still in his mind and he tried to call her everyday for 353 days. Those stripes continue onto a lot of his other outfits this season. Interestingly, almost every outfit Will wears this season also has those red stripes.

Blue and yellow shirt, blue hoodie, blue and yellow blanket, green pillow. No comment needed.

Mike wears this outfit the entire time he's with Will.

This season has El start trying to figure out who she is and where she belongs. Her episode 7 outfit was her trying to fit in with others that are "like her", only to realize she doesn't feel like she belongs there at all.

Mike was still wearing the blue and yellow outfit in the shed scene.

"It was the best thing I've ever done."

At the Snow Ball, Mike is wearing browns and greys, and just like Maple pointed out, El is wearing blue. The pink accents are extremely subdued, El is still trying to cater to what Mike likes, and not herself. She's not wearing purple, the mix of her and Mike's colors, either.

Pink and blue being El and Mike's color combination is honestly funny. It's the most heteronormative color combination out there.

⭑ Season 3:

This season starts off strong with Mike and El making out. Right off the bat, El's flannel is mostly blue, and Mike is wearing mostly yellow. This is where my theory comes in: too much yellow for Mike means repression. It's another pattern that will continue to come up in the series.

My guess is that the blue denim vest he's wearing over the yellow is for the wonderfully homoerotic lumax-byler double date scene, where he looks at Will's lips like twice and they're both blushing around each other.

Now they're both wearing blue.

I wanna add something Maple said here, about Mike pushing El away the more feminine she becomes. I find it interesting that to appease to Mike, El wears the stereotypically masculine color.

Here's Mike, lying to El in his yellow shirt.

Here's El, being happy and having fun being herself for once. Notice the pink headpiece that she chose!!

Also the colorful outfit she chose, almost like to match Max's!

And here's Mike lying to her again.

Where else is Mike not being honest?

Right here.

He wasn't being honest with Will, and he definitely wasn't being honest with himself. This whole season, he's been trying to distance himself from things that are "childish", "immature", and from the things that remind him of Will. Lucas is dating Max, Dustin is Dating Suzie, and Mike has El but deep down he knows it's not the same thing, knows he doesn't feel for her the same way that his friends feel for their girlfriends, and that terrifies him.

He projects onto Will, here. The truth is Mike wants to spend forever with Will, he's always wanted to, but that's one of the thoughts he was led to think are childish and stupid. He didn't think Will would want that, too, and the second he finds out Will did want it just as much as him, he regrets it immediately.

Will bikes away, and Mike throws on his green jacket.

Will is his priority, forever and always. He's the only one that can make Mike actually own up to his mistakes without blaming them on everyone else. And Mike was so scared here, so sure he just lost his best friend forever, sure he ruined everything. Will never hears him apologize, and this conflict doesn't really get resolved until season four, when even more tension has built up between them.

By the end of the season, he goes blue again.

He doesn't react well at all to El's kiss. He seems confused and upset.

I do think this was his very real realization of his current situation. Mike is so lost, scared and confused. So many feelings and thoughts are piling up and hurting him all at once. He just realized he doesn't love his girlfriend the way he's supposed to, that he lost her anyway, that he lost Will again and that it hurts more than he could imagine and he's never going to be the same. He canonically goes deep into depression and self-isolation after this.

i can't believe it, but i'm gonna need to make a part two.

it's here

[estrellami-1]

If I Should Stay

Part 1 | . . . | Part 65 | Part 66 | Part 67

Joyce never thought getting sucked into whatever the hell this crazy Upside-Down world is meant she’d still have to deal with teenagers and their hormones, but it does make a certain kind of sense, considering teenagers are the ones leading this whole thing.

When all this is over, she’s taking so much Valium and not getting out of bed for a week. She owes it to herself.

Vecna’s dead. That’s great. She hadn’t known he was an issue until about an hour before she helped kill him, but it’s one less psycho in the world, so she doesn’t really care.

But now there’s Papa, and apparently he’s all but abused El, and as soon as he’s dealt with, Joyce is going to take up knitting and firmly ignore any problems that can’t be solved with yarn or knitting needles.

Until then, though, she’s got a teenager who thinks the world is ending—a common occurrence, at seventeen—and who knows a secret that could hurt a couple of very good people.

Not to mention apparently her son is involved in all this mayhem, too, and she does her best to be a good mom, and a good mom would get involved and listen and find solutions.

But when this is over? Knitting and Valium. Not necessarily in that order.

She finds Nancy and Jonathan sitting at the end of the driveway, tucked behind a car. Jonathan’s a little awkward, but he’s got a good heart, so he’s angled toward her, listening.

Joyce can tell, from Nancy’s body language, what she really wants is someone to hug her, to tell her it’ll be alright, that what just happened didn’t actually happen.

Joyce can do two of the three, so she sits down next to Nancy and does her best to smile encouragingly. “Sucks, doesn’t it?”

Nancy scoffs. “That’s an understatement.” Tears well in her eyes. “I thought he loved me. I know he said he didn’t but just a week ago he was all over me, it was almost stifling, but now that it’s gone I just want it back.”

Joyce sighs and carefully wraps an arm around Nancy’s shoulders. She leans into it, so Joyce tugs her in more securely. “Did he explain why he broke it off this time around?”

Nancy sniffs. “Some bullshit about me not feeling the same as him.”

Joyce hums. “I think that’s the same word he used when describing what happened at the party, dear. The same night you implied you didn’t love him. I’m not saying either of you are in the right or the wrong. Breakups are tricky things, and they hurt both people in the relationship.”

Nancy sneers at the ground. “Didn’t hurt him.”

“It actually sounds like it did,” Joyce says softly. “The first time around. Think about it this way, right? He’s got some inside knowledge because he’s been through this already. He knew breaking it off, instead of pretending to have feelings for you, would end up better in the long run. And he knew you don’t feel the same way for him as he did for you.”

“Says who,” Nancy asks, “no one bothered to ask me this time around-”

“Nancy, honey,” Joyce carefully says, “I haven’t heard you once say you love him.”

Nancy opens her mouth to answer, then hesitates and shuts it as she sniffles. A tear drops down her cheek, and she roughly wipes it away. “So- so just because I can’t say it-”

“It doesn’t really matter if you can say it or not. What matters is how you feel.” Joyce sighs. “Did he tell you the whole story? Why he really broke up with you this time around?”

Nancy sighs. “Yeah, but I didn’t this time! I would never-”

“I thought the same,” Joyce says. “I was in love with a boy once, I thought he was perfect, but he wouldn’t give me what the boys�� dad did.”

Nancy frowns. “So you- with their dad?”

Joyce nods. “Now, if I could go back and change it, I don’t know if I would. It got me my boys, and I would do anything for them. But if I could get them and not have gotten with Lonnie in the first place, I would’ve in a heartbeat. You can appreciate what you had, or what you got from something, and still wish it hadn’t happened that way. Does that make sense?”

“I think so.”

“And as for you cheating on him… I don’t know, honey. I know that’s why my boyfriend at the time broke up with me. For that reason, I can’t really fault Steve. Can you?”

Nancy tucks her chin on her knees. “I guess not. But it still hurts.”

“And it’s allowed to,” Joyce tells her. “But I need you to know, honey, you can’t tell anyone who he’s with.”

“I wouldn’t!” Nancy turns so quickly Joyce worries she gave herself whiplash. “I know exactly what would happen. My dad’s like that. I’m upset, but I don’t want Steve dead, and that’s what would happen if my dad found out.”

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[thekatebridgerton]

I love the idea of a Philoise Rebecca AU SO much! Just so you know. ;)

Oh I think a Rebecca twist for the Philoise season would be both hilarious and show appropriate. I've seen enough 'I hate Phillip' posts from certain people on Tumblr to make me think it would be great if the show took all that hate and ran with it, give the haters a voice and that voice being Eloise herself. Have her go full 'I have my reasons to hate Phillip' and the reason is 'he may have murdered Marina'

First by building up Lady Crane as this larger than life persona, beautiful, charming, pragmatic. Everyone loved Lady Crane. But she died in a tragic lake accident. Or did she? her husband, and pretend father of her children looks awfully suspicious, he's the one that found her in the lake, servants speculate that he was the one who pushed her. He was jealous, he resented her for always being indifferent to him, he never treated her like she deserved, he is obviously a bad guy, so secretive, spending all that time in the greenhouse, or locked in his study. Twirling his evil moustache, distancing himself from the children, almost like he has a guilty conscience for doing something bad to the remarkable Lady Crane.

Enter Eloise, who started corresponding with him previously and 100% believes Phillip is a wife murderer. Pretending she's in Romney Hall to help with his children, when really she's investigating Marina's death to bring her killer (Phillip) to justice. Except, oops he's actually got logical reasons for being in his greenhouse all the time, and he's always locked up in his study because he's got an estate to manage, and he roams around darkened hallways at night because he's got insomnia. Is Eloise falling inlove with a wife murderer or is Phillip really innocent? if he is then what is he hiding? who murdered the beautiful and sparkling Marina?. Knowing show Eloise, she'd probably consider Phillip way sexier as a possible criminal than as an awkward botanist.

(Cue a fight where Eloise confronts Phillip accusing him of murdering his wife and Phillip admits that all this time Marina was mentally ill and he's been protecting her reputation, to the point of covering up her suicide for the sake of the people who knew her, this is why he feels so much guilt! he can never tell anyone the truth, it would tarnish George's memory AND Marina's)

Somewhere in between there, El's brothers find out where she is, they jump to conclusions, ranging from Phillip kidnapping Eloise to Eloise being a busybody that can't leave well enough alone. They beat up Phillip, then they apologize when Eloise explains and Phillip proposes. Gets rejected, El goes back home, gets the Violet TM 'marry your best friend' pep talk and comes to her senses and realizes that now that she knows Phillip won't murder her like she thought he murdered Marina, then it's okay if she loves him. So she goes back and proposes to him, like the feminist she is and makes it her business to defend Phillip's reputation from those wife murderer rumors.

I want all the gothic romance tropes, I want Phillip to look as low key suspicious as Rob Cameron with a dash of villain Rience, I want Eloise at the height of her detective era coming up with all the wrong conclusions, I want the main misunderstanding to be made worse when the Bridgertons get involved. I think it would be awesome.

And that's the tea.

[adventuringblind]

Drive with you Forever

Chapter 2.1:

Max Verstappen x Charles Leclerc x Lando Norris x Reader x Oscar Piastri

Summary: Max and reader go shopping

Warnings: mentions of neglect and abuse

Notes: I was thinking of that scene from Stranger Things of Max and El in the mall while writing this.

Previous <-

Masterlist

Clothes are something that she’s never had a lot of. Hanna had taken her to get new clothes as soon as they got to Germany. It felt weird having new things. Things she got to pick out that weren’t ten sizes too big.

The store was overwhelming and she decided she didn’t particularly like shopping. She basically lived out of Seb’s old Ferrari shirts. The fact that she is now growing so much didn’t particularly help the clothing situation either. Proper nutrition means she can actually grow like a teenager should.

Max had noticed her particular hatred of the store early on. Seb had to drag her to go get new shoes after she’d worn hers so much she’d put holes in them.

That’s why he started offering to go with her. Maybe it was just to many unknown people. Maybe she didn’t know how to navigate the world of fashion.

Max went with the Vettle family the next time she had outgrown her clothes. So much to the point she was wearing his. It did nothing to help the crush he had on her that was growing at a steady pace. That pace is more rapid than he would like.

They went early in the morning to hopefully avoid people. She’s still shaking despite the lack of crowds.

“Can we go look around?” Max asks Seb. A hit of mischief swirls on his features.

Seb is a little hesitant. If only because leaving a fifteen and seventeen year old to their own devices is scary enough, and Max tends to make some impulsive decisions. Hanna instead gives them the go-ahead. “Just don’t do anything Seb would do, and you’ll be fine.” The older male feigns a look of hurt as Max drags the poor girl away.

“To look at clothes, obviously.”

“Where are we going?” Her voice is everything to him. She’s so quiet and gentle. He’d settled a few months into knowing her that if anyone were to ever hurt her, he would consider murder.

She groans. Max’s baggy t-shirt hangs loosely from her torso. As much as he’d love her to be in his clothes all the time, his dad may wonder why all his clothes are going. A conversation he would like to avoid having for now.

"One day maybe you can share my clothes, but for now you still need your own." Max can't help but notice the light blush that tints her cheeks at his words.

"I don't like it here."

"Mind telling me why?"

"Well..." She hesitates. As if debating whether or not to tell him. "It's just that every time my dad went to the store he brought back, uh -" She cringes.

Max squeezes her hand in reassurance. "I get it. But now we're going to make the store less scary."

Max drags her around racks of clothing. Nothing crazy, she looks at t-shirts three sizes too big and exclusively jeans made on soft materials.

"Now we get to try things on."

She reels backward away from him. Frantically shaking her head no. "It's small in there." He assumes she means the size of the normally cramped dressing rooms.

He thinks for a moment, doing his best to find a solution. "I think I have an idea."

~

When she woke up this morning, she didn't picture herself sitting outside the male dressing rooms.

Max has taken it upon himself to try on the clothes for her. Every few minutes, he comes out in a new T-shirt that actually fits him and jeans that definitely don't.

It's funny to watch, and she can't help but giggle every time he comes out in a different set of clothing.

"I think I pull this look of quite well!"

She laughs hysterically at the comment. Max looks like he can hardly move. "Max I- I think I want to try things on."

His eyes light up at her suggestion. Proud of himself for making dressing rooms seem less scary. "How about I walk you in since nobody else is here, and then I'll be right outside if you need me."

The next hour ensues a great many things. Namely, both of them are trying on weird outfits they put together and clothes that are definitely lacking in comfort. Both kids are out of breath when Hanna and Seb find them.

"I take it you two are having fun?" Seb laughs at the ridiculous clothing them have on. The girl shakes her head yes with vigor. "As great as that is, did you find anything you can actually wear?"

She points to the neatly folded stack of clothing. Seb and Hanna sigh in what she assumes is relief.

"Meet us at the register in a half hour, yes?"

"Yes, sir." Max nods his head towards Seb. When the two are out of view, they keel over once again in laughter.

Dressing rooms become much less scary after that. Mostly because Max goes with her every time and dillegently guards outside in case she needs help.

~

[whoisshel]

The Gate Pt.1

pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader x Steve Harrington

word count: 3311

tw: swearing, no Eddie but he is mentioned this time

previous part

“Eleven.” Mike sighed in relief, seeing the girl everyone else thought was gone for good standing right in front of them. 

“Mike.” Eleven gasped as they both took a couple of steps forward and fell into a hug.

They stayed like that for a few seconds, just holding each other and crying happy tears so that they could be together again.

“I never gave up on you,” Mike said, pulling back from the hug. “I called you every night. Every night for-”

“353 days.” Eleven finished the sentence. “I heard.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were there? That you were okay?”

“Because I wouldn’t let her,” Hopper answered, walking to Eleven as Mike stepped away confused at what Hopper was talking about. “The hell is this? Where have you been?”

“Where have you been?” Eleven asked back, as Hopper pulled her into a caring hug.

“You’ve been hiding her.” Mike realized what Hopper meant, he jumped at Hopper hitting him on the back. “You’ve been hiding her this whole time!”

Hopper quickly turned around to face the younger boy and grabbed him by the front of his shirt, “Hey! Let’s talk. Alone.”

Hopper took Mike into a bedroom away from everyone. The rest stood by as Eleven walked up to her old friends, happy to be with them again. As Max tried to introduce herself to Eleven, the short-haired girl wanted nothing to do with her and walked over to you.

“Hey, kid.” You smiled, patting Eleven on the head like you did a year ago, “I’m diggin’ the style.”

“Thank you,” Eleven replied, slowly with a shy smile.

“I’m glad you’re back.” You said, softly trying to hold in your tears. Eleven just nodded with the same smile before walking over to Joyce.

“So, that’s the girl with the superpowers,” Steve said once Joyce and Eleven had walked away to the room Will was in.

“Yup.” You replied, plainly. She wasn’t trying to be rude or anything, you were just in your head too much at the moment and still trying not to cry.

“I thought she had a shaved head.”

You turned to look at Steve in complete disbelief at the words that just came out of his mouth, “It’s been a year, Steve, hair grows.”

“I know, but, never mind.” Steve shook his head, not having anywhere to go with that sentence.

Joyce and Eleven walked back in and over to the table in the kitchen. Everyone walked over to them, hearing that they were talking about the gate.

“Do you think if we got you back there, that you could close it?” Joyce asked.

Eleven turned to look at Joyce, taking in the hopeful expression on her face. Eleven then turned back to face forward knowing what she had to do to save them and to save Will.

—----------------

They all stood around the kitchen as they figured out their next move. Joyce explained her idea, but Hopper was a bit apprehensive about it. 

“It’s not like it was before, it’s grown.” Hopper sighed, “A lot. And, I mean, that’s considering we can get in there. The place is crawling with those dogs.”

“Demo-dogs.” Dustin interrupted Hopper to correct him.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I said, uh, Demo-dogs. Like Demogorgon and dogs. You put them together, it sounds pretty badass-”

Hopper cut Dustin off, annoyed by his interruption to explain something irrelevant, “How is this important right now?”

“It’s not. I’m sorry.”

“I can do it,” Eleven said, determined.

“You’re not hearing me.” Hopper practically pleaded, not wanting to have the young girl be put into a dangerous situation.

“I’m hearing you. I can do it.” “Even if El can, there’s still another problem.” Mike interjected, “If the brain dies, the body dies.”

“I thought that was the whole point,” Max said, confused at what he was getting at.

“It is, but if we’re really right about this, I mean if El closes the gate and kills the mind flayer’s army…”

“Will’s part of that army.” Lucas finished Mike's explanation.

“Closing the gate will kill him.”

Everyone looked at each other with worry, they had a plan but they didn’t know how to execute the plan without killing Will.

They all walked into Jonathan’s room where Will was lying, still unconscious.

“He likes it cold,” Joyce muttered out loud, but mainly to herself.

“What?” Hopper asked, wondering what she was talking about.

“It’s what Will kept saying to me. He likes it cold.” Joyce walked over to the window and closed it. “We keep giving it what it wants.”

“If this is a virus, and Will’s the host, then…” Nancy started.

Jonathan finished what she was saying, “Then we need to make the host uninhabitable.”

“So if he likes it cold…” Nancy once again started coming up with a plan.

“We need to burn it out of him,” Joyce said with so much anguish thinking about the pain her son is going through already and how much pain they’ll have to put him through to get the mind flayer out of him.

“We have to do it somewhere he doesn’t know this time,” Mike recommended so that this time the mind flayer can’t stop them.

“Yeah, somewhere far away,” Dustin added to Mike’s idea.

Hopper said that he knew a place, so he picked up Will as he explained to Jonathan and Joyce where they were going. While Joyce and Jonathan were going to try and get the mind flayer out of Will, Hopper and Eleven were going to try and close the gate. Which left everyone else to stay at the Byers to wait until everything was complete.

Nancy and Steve were outside looking at the pile of stuff from the shed to find the heater. You were asked to go too, but Steve asked you to stay behind so he could talk to Nancy alone. When he came back in, Steve looked a bit downcast but he had a smile on his face to try and act like he was. You saw right through and went up to him to check on him.

When you walked up to him, you put a hand on his arm, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, um,” Steve nodded as he continued to look at the ground, “I told her to go with him.”

“With Jonathan?”

Steve nodded again, this time he looked at you with a more genuine smile but there was still some sadness in his eyes, “Yeah, but it’s all good she needed to go with him.”

You just nodded, you didn’t want to push him anymore, you already knew what he meant by that.

Steve and you walked outside with the kids to stand on the porch and watch as everyone else left in their separate cars. They all looked back at each other with slight fear at the unknown of how this could go

—----------------

Back inside the house, Dustin was throwing everything out of the fridge to try and make room for the Demo-dog Steve was holding wrapped in a blanket. While you were cleaning up the mess Dustin was making so Joyce didn’t come home to a pile of her food on the ground.

“All right, it should fit now,” Dustin said, once he cleared out the fridge.

“Is this really necessary?” Steve asks, not liking the kid's idea to shove a monster into a fridge.

From your crouched position on the ground, you looked up at the two annoyed, “No, this is ridiculous, Dustin.” 

“Yes, it is, okay?” Dustin insisted, not listening to the older girl's opinion. “This is a ground-breaking scientific discovery. We can’t just bury it like some common mammal, okay? It’s not a dog.”

“All right, all right, all right.” Steve stopped Dustin from continuing his rant. He walked over to the fridge and before he put the thing in the fridge he turned to Dustin, “But you’re explaining this to Mrs. Byers, all right?”

Steve then tried to shove the Demo-dog into the fridge, but was struggling, “Help me out?”

“What am I supposed to do?”

You stood up to get out of their way, chuckling as you did so, loving the struggle these two idiots were putting themselves through.

“Get the door, man, the door.”

“All right, I got the door.”

The two slammed the fridge door shut before the creature could fall back out. As soon as it was shut, they both sighed in relief and Steve gave a pat to Dustin’s head. Hearing the girl behind them continue to chuckle, they both turned to face you with irritation all over their faces.

“Oh, like you could have done better.” Steve sarcastically said.

“Yeah, I could have, because I wouldn’t have tried to shove a monster from another dimension, that has tried to kill us, into a fridge.”

Steve put his hands on his waist and nodded, “That’s fair.”

“What about the scientific discovery?” Dustin whined, looking up at Steve, thinking they were on the same page.

“I just wanted you to shut up.” Steve sighed, walking away to grab a towel to clean his hands of the slime that came from the Demo-dog.

Dustin and you turned to the living room where they could hear Lucas and Mike arguing.

 “That lab is swarming with hundreds of those dogs.” Mike reminded Lucas since he had been the only one of the group that had seen what happened in the lab.

“Demo-dogs!” Dustin yelled as he walked into the living room followed by you.

Not listening to their curly-haired friend's correction, Lucas continued to try and calm Mike, “The chief will take care of her.”

“Like she needs protection,” Max muttered from the ground, where she and Lucas were sweeping up broken glass.

“Listen, dude, a coach calls a play in a game, bottom line, you execute it. All right?” Steve walked in to try and convince Mike that staying at the house was what they were supposed to do, but his analogy didn’t work.

“Okay, first of all, this isn’t some stupid sports game.” Mike fumed, “And second, we’re not even in the game. We’re on the bench.”

“So my point is-” Steve paused, not knowing what else to say, “Right, yeah, we’re on the bench, so, uh, there’s nothing we can do.”

“All right, so you’re done talking,” You put a hand in front of Steve’s chest to get him to stop before bringing it back down and putting your attention to Mike, “Let me try and put this in words you might prefer. The Dungeon Master has given everyone their part in defeating the mind flayer, and since you don’t have superpowers or are possessed by the mind flayer, you are not a protector of one of them. Your job is to sit back and wait not to cause any more problems, okay?”

“That’s not entirely true,” Dustin interjected.

“Well, I don’t completely understand the game-”

“No, I mean, these Demo-dogs, they have a hive mind. When they ran away from the bud, they were called away.”

“So, if we get their attention…” Lucas started, seeing what Dustin was getting at.

Max continued Lucas’ idea, “Maybe we can draw them away from the lab.”

“And clear a path to the gate,” Mike added.

“Yeah, and then we all die!” Steve tried to stop the kids from going any further with this idea.

“That’s one point of view.” Dustin disagreed with Steve.

“No, that’s not a point of view, man. That’s a fact.”

“I got it.” Mike gasped, running into the kitchen and everyone followed. He went over to one of the drawings of the map Will created and pointed to a spot, “This is where the chief dug his hole. This is our way into the tunnel.”

Mike walked over to the spot in front of the hallway where a pile of drawn-on papers was on the ground, “Here, right here. This is like a hub. So you got all the tunnels feeding in here. Maybe if we set this on fire-”

“Oh, yeah? That’s a no.” Steve sassed, hating this idea even more.

The kids continued with their back and forth as if they all shared one brain.

“The mind flayer would call away his army-”

“They’d all come to stop us-”

You tried to intervene, “No, guys, now way!”

“Would circle back to the exit. By the time they realize we’re gone-”

“El would be at the gate.”

“Hey. Hey! Hey!” Steve clapped his hands, finally getting the kids to stop and look at the teens behind them. “This is not happening.”

“But-” Mike tried to object.

 “No, no, no, no, no.” You cut him off before he could go any further, “There will be no arguing. Steve and I promised that we’d keep you shitheads safe, and that’s exactly what we plan on doing. We’re staying here and we’re waiting for the others to finish their side quests to defeat the monster. Does everyone understand?”

“This isn’t a D&D game!” Mike argued back.

Steve took the towel off his shoulder, and pointed it at Mike, “She said, does everybody understand that?”

“I need a yes.” You ordered one more time, but before the kids could respond a loud revving of an engine was heard outside.

Max ran over to the window and sat on the couch to look outside, “It’s my brother. He can’t know I’m here. He’ll kill me. He’ll kill us.”

Steve and you went outside to wait on the porch for Billy to pull up to the Byers’ house, so they could send him back on his way. 

Billy got out of his car with a cigarette in his mouth, taking a puff he took it out of his mouth smirking, “Am I dreaming, or is that you Harrington? And I see you have the Virgin Mary with you.”

“Yeah, it’s us. Don’t cream your pants.” Steve replied in a monotone voice.

“We know that’ll be hard for you since you seem like the premature ejaculation type of guy,” You commented in a bit of a more smart-ass tone.

As Billy took his leather jacket off and put it in his car, Steve stepped off the porch and walked over to him, while you stayed with your arms crossed.

“What are you doing here, amigo?” Billy asked

“I could ask you the same thing. Amigo.”

“Looking for my stepsister. A little birdie told me she was here.”

“Huh, that’s weird, I don’t know her.” Steve fibbed to try and get Billy to leave.

“Small? Redhead? Bit of a bitch.”

“Doesn’t ring a bell. Sorry, buddy.”

“We don’t know her, so leave!” You shouted from your spot.

“You know, I don’t know, this…” Billy sighed dramatically, pulling the cigarette out of his mouth, “This whole situation, Harrington, I don’t know. It’s giving me the heebie-jeebies.”

“Oh, yeah, why’s that?”

Billy took another puff and shrugged his shoulders, “My 13-year-old sister goes missing all day and then I find her with you two in a stranger’s house. And you both lie to me about it.”

“Man, were you dropped too much as a child, or what?” Steve gave a light chuckle, “I don’t know what you don’t understand about what I just said. She’s not here.”

“Then who is that?” Billy pointed over Steve’s shoulder with his cigarette.

Steve and you turned to look at the window where the kids were peeking out of. You looked at them all with wide eyes, mouthing, ‘What the hell’ as they quickly ducked down.

“Oh, shit. Listen-” Billy pushed Steve to the ground before he could finish his sentence.

“I told you to plant your feet,” Billy said, before kicking Steve in the stomach.

You stomped up to Billy and gave him a shove, “What the hell, Hargrove?”

Billy just shouldered you to the ground like she was nothing and continued his walk into the house. You were too in shock to comprehend what was happening and before you knew it you landed on your butt. You caught herself with your hands before you could end up landing on your back. 

You quickly stood up and walked over to Steve to check on him. He was still lying on his side, holding his stomach in pain. You lightly pushed him by his shoulder to get a better look at him and see if there was any other damage.

“Are you okay?” Steve could still only nod as he tried to catch his breath again. “Okay, you’ve got to get up, we need to help the kids. Come on.”

You grabbed Steve by the elbows to pull him up from the ground. Once they were both standing, they charged towards the house where they could hear the kids freaking out. When they walked into the house, they could see Mike, Dustin, and Max watching Billy yell at Lucas.

Steve quietly walked up behind Billy while you stood in front of the kids to block them, as Billy continued to shout at Lucas, “You are so dead, Sinclair! You’re dead.”

“No, you are.” Steve shoved Billy back before landing a hard punch to Billy’s face knocking him over slightly. This gave Lucas enough time to run back over to the rest of them, hugging them all.

Billy stood back up cackling with his nose now bleeding, “Looks like you got some fire in you after all, huh? I’ve been waiting to meet this King Steve everybody’s been telling me so much about.”

“Get out” Steve growled, pushing Billy back with his two fingers, trying to make space between them after Billy got extremely close.

Billy swung at Steve, but Steve was able to duck in time before coming back up and punching Billy in the face again. Billy fell back onto the table and then turned back laughing again like a maniac.

“Yes! Kick his ass, Steve” Dustin cheered on from behind you.

“Get him!” Mike shouted along with Dustin.

Steve got two more punches into Billy’s face, when Billy grabbed a plate and smashed it on Steve’s head, making Steve stumble back a few steps. Billy stomped forward and punched Steve in the face hard. You pushed the kids back as the boys walked into the living room to continue their fight.

Billy grabbed a hold of Steve's jacket bringing him close to his face, “ No one tells me what to do.”

Billy head-butted Steve, causing Steve to end up on the ground. Billy crouched over to Steve and landed continuous hits to his face. 

You had enough of this lunatic's behavior and advanced towards him landing a harsh kick to his ear. Billy fell off of Steve, holding his ringing ear, he looked up at the girl that just kicked him and let out a loud growl-like scream. Billy stood up and made his way towards you, but before he could get too close you kicked him in the balls.

Billy recovered quickly and practically threw himself at the girl before you could do any more damage. He grabbed you by the throat, pushing you against the wall and lifting you off the ground a few inches. As you gasped for air, you frantically clawed at Billy’s face leaving a couple of scratch marks. You swung your legs around trying to kick, but couldn’t seem to hit anything major. 

Your vision started to go black and your ears began to ring when suddenly you felt yourself fall to the ground. Landing on your hands and knees, you tried to catch your breath reaching a hand towards your throat that no longer had Billy’s harsh grip but still felt tight. You could hear something happening in the room, but couldn’t fully make out the words and your vision was too spotty to see anything.

“Eddie.” You croaked out before falling to the ground and passing out.

[courtingchaos]

Tryouts

Bully Masterlist

Summary: Lucas and Max have a conversation without having one; end of summer signups begin.

Word Count: 1.7K

Warnings: None

A/N: I was gonna be corny here and talk about the long lead up but like, no one else has been anticipating me posting this the way I have. I’ve been on the edge of my own seat waiting and the muse finally came back from the corner store, surprisingly with the cigarettes she promised. This is a prelude of sorts, a small snippet of life outside of the main story. Expect more of these as it progresses, everyone is up to something.

No Explicit Content but 18+ No Minors

“Wait so you’re gonna actually try out for soccer?” Lucas stops walking out of shock while Max just keeps across the parking lot towards the arcade.

“It isn’t so much a ‘try out’ as it is ‘show up and be interested’.” She stops to wait for a car and shoots her boyfriend a look over her shoulder. “So don’t get too excited, they’ll take literally anyone.”

“Hey! I’ll be excited anyways!” He catches up to her at the door, shooting his arm around her to cut her off from grabbing it for herself. Lucas sees the eye roll and chooses to ignore it. “We can be like, an athlete couple.”

“Oh my god.”

“We could trade Lettermans.”

She tries to hide it but he can see her grin that she pulls off to the side of her face. “Sick. You’re sick Sinclair.”

“Oh come on, you know you want to.”

Max stops at the token machine to dig out her wad of dollar bills. “I don’t even know if I want to play! I’m just…looking for something to get me out of the house.”

Lucas leans on the top of the machine to singsong at her. “There’s always a seat at the table.” He wiggles his eyebrows and she hates that she laughs.

“In Wheeler’s fart infested basement? I don’t think so.” She scoops the tokens out to hand them to Lucas, her own personal coin purse while she keeps her high score for the afternoon. “He doesn’t make El do it so why should I be forced to play?”

“He doesn’t force her and plus, they aren’t talking right now.”

“What?” She whips her head to look at him. “She didn’t tell me anything!”

Lucas gives her a side eye before walking away towards the Dig Dug machine and Max follows him close, hands pulling at his shoulders to get him to stop moving, and when he doesn’t, fingers dig into his side to try and tickle it out of him.

“Tell me! What happened!” If this was anyone else she might consider this bullying with the way she pulls at the hem of his shirt and shakes his whole body when all he gives her for an answer is a laugh at her pretend annoyance. It isn’t until she manages to get a leg up off the stool and onto his back that he threatens to drop her tokens.

“If I get off you, you’ll tell me?” She asks him directly in his ear so he winces away with a chuckle.

“If you get off me I won’t drop your coins.”

Lucas hands her two tokens when she puts both feet on the ground and nods his head at the arcade. A silent standoff for a moment before Max gives up with a heavy sigh, sitting down when the tune jingles behind the screen.

“Okay, this morning Mike called to hang out and I told him we were gonna be busy but he could tag along if he wanted to.”

“Why do you do that?”

Lucas ignores her. “But he said he didn’t want to be around you because you were probably gonna make fun of him all day and if he wanted that, he’d just go over to El’s.”

“So they had another fight?”

“I guess? It sounds like she was teasing him about being in the basement all summer with his Nintendo and he blew up.”

Max frowns at the screen. “Did he say that? I don’t think I’ve ever heard him own up to a damn thing.”

“Surprisingly, yeah. He said that Hopper came in and told him to get the hell out if he was gonna yell like that.”

“He got yelled at by dad? No thank you.” She shakes her head a little to stop the memory of last night from resurfacing and of course Lucas catches it. Try as she might to keep her family stuff firmly behind the front door of their home, it’s been sneaking out lately and waving at anyone who pays attention, Lucas in particular.

“You okay?”

Her eyebrows knit before she can stop it but she’s focused on the game, fingers tapping on the thick buttons. If she doesn’t respond then maybe Lucas will shrug it off and keep telling her about Mike having a tantrum. Maybe he’ll tell her about the Fighter he built for her and try for the hundredth time this summer to get her to play the dumb dice game. Or maybe he’ll double down and bring up her brother’s black eye.

“I saw Billy peeling out earlier.”

There it is, she thinks to herself and holds back the eye roll. “So did half the neighbors. He likes the attention.”

“He stopped long enough to flip me the bird.” He laughs like it’s normal.

“Yeah?” The game means nothing now. Her fingers slap at the cabinet and Lucas just keeps looking at her with pity. “Well don’t feel bad for him, he should know when to shut up.” She acknowledges it but won’t name it, especially when she was there for its christening. Voices that raised over her headphones, the splintering of a mistreated door being kicked in for the twentieth time and a loud smack of knuckles before it’d gone silent. “He pushes Neil for fun.”

Lucas stares at her like everyone else has that’s ever seen her stepdad go off on his kid.

Max feels the lump crawling fast up her throat so she swallows to keep it tucked below her ribs where it can settle until later. “Lucas…” His name comes out soft on the end of a heavy sigh. She doesn’t really have anything to say, nothing she wants to admit to him right now, at least not while the sun is shining.

To his credit he looks uncomfortable in the face of her minor slip but it’s gone as soon as she notices it. “You’d tell me, wouldn’t you?”

Talking without talking. It’s like their special ability, their mutant powers, not quite mind reading but close. He asks her the obvious question without using the words so she isn’t embarrassed. So others don’t overhear.

She really thinks about it. Tries to remember a time that Neil had ever directed that temper at her and comes up with a blank. It’s always anger by association, always behind Billy when the blame rolls in no matter how loud she’d get about her part in the issue. That had only happened once and her mother had swiftly pulled her out of the room and into the car and they’d gone to the mall for most of the day. Max thinks about all the times she’s come home to a new bruise on Billy or another broken dish in the trash. She thinks about how Lucas has never seen the inside of her house but she’s been all over his, every nook and even through the attic, even through Mrs. Sinclair’s garden.

“Yeah.”

The game jingles at her in a mocking defeat but the wasted tokens don’t matter. She stares at Lucas who does his best to wait for her, his hands shoved far into his shorts pockets until she makes the slightest move for him and he wraps her in a hug, tight and lighting quick. Thankfully it’s lunch time and thankfully the attendant today has wandered off and thankfully it’s just them in the arcade with all its trills and beeps. Cabinet screens flash around them and all that matters is the hug and the quietly whispered “I’m sorry” that Lucas presses into the top of her head.

Lucas agreed to meet Max at the field ten minuets after her drop off time to avoid anymore general jackassery from Billy, but when he’d folded himself out of the backseat of Steve’s car he’d had to brace himself. The Camaro sat idling on the far side of the field with its owner leaning on the hood, a brunette vying for his attention next to him, but no redhead in sight.

“You okay?” Steve asks while pointedly staring at Billy across the field.

“Yeah I’m…he won’t do anything here.”

There’s the trill of whistles and Robin is shooting out of the passenger seat, cursing and slamming her foot into a cleat. “I told you we were gonna be late!” She screeches at Steve as she barrels down the small slope with her bag swinging wildly from her shoulder. She waves both hands at the coach and yells something about traffic and that’s when Dustin gets out of the car finally, his finger pointed to the middle of the group of girls.

“There she is.”

Red hair shines bright in the early morning sun and Lucas can’t help the smile that grows wide. Beside him Dustin nudges him, says something about googly eyes and makes his horrible whip sound but Lucas tunes him out. Max is tucked into herself until Robin pushes her way over and a smile appears, a laugh too when she points up to the three of them on the hill and she grabs Max’s hand to flop it at them in a crude wave.

Dustin waves back with the folded up signup sheet and he elbows Lucas again. “See man? Nothing to worry about.”

“I know. I just—“

“Worry?”

“Shut up.” It’s good natured. Dustin laughs and asks him again if he filled out the papers, if he brought his character sheet and it isn’t until Steve whistles at them and points to the school parking lot that Dustin finally cuts it out. A van has rumbled in and before it can park, a shaggy head pops out and looks around before throwing his hands up and yelling.

“Henderson!”

Dustin takes off, calling Lucas with him over his shoulder to follow, but Lucas hangs back for a minute. He watches Max whispering with Robin, can see her easing up. The smile hasn’t left her face, just faded into the conversation as she nods her head along to something said to her. Beside him Steve sighs when the horn on the van goes off three times in quick succession and Lucas looks over to see Dustin giving him a pointed, annoyed look.

“I’d go over there before he pisses Munson off.” Steve seems to be watching Lucas struggle to leave and he taps him on the arm to assure him. “I’ll keep an eye on her, okay? I promise I won’t let anything happen.”

“Thanks man.”

[inklessletter]

The Pause

I am going to introduce you to this dynamic, that I would very much like you to consider: The Pause.

Karen taught Nancy about The Pause when she was ten because she suspected Nancy was going through a hard time at school. The Pause was half a little game, half a trust promise. The rules were simple: The Pause would start when they lifted both feet from the ground. When they did that, Karen explained, time stopped for them to take out of their chests whatever was bugging them, and as long as the game was going on, they could say anything (even swearing!) to feel better, and after The Pause finished (when their feet were on the ground again), whatever they said during that time will not ever be approached again. No judgment, no hard felings. Just release.

Nancy had The Pause present during all her life, because speaking her mind wasn't always easy. She would learn soon enough that speaking up wasn't the hard part; getting heard was.

Anyway, she found herself spreading The Pause. She used it with Mike once or twice. During those moments, Nancy recalled, it was when they got along better. Sad thing they never talked about it later.

Mike had taught The Pause to Lucas, who eventually, taught it to Max in an attempt to talk to her when she was at her worst.

Nancy used it with Steve after their first encounter with the demogorgon, and it was, by far, the one who was most affected by The Pause. She had been at Steve's a few times by then. She knew he didn't have anyone to talk to about his feelings, or what he had gone through, so she taught him The Pause.

That was when Steve fell in love with her.

Then she taught The Pause to Jonathan in Murray's place, and that's when they both learned about their true feelings.

Later on, he would use The Pause with Will, who, a few years later, taught it to El.

Steve taught The Pause to several people, though. The first time he used it, it was before the Snow Ball. He wasn't expecting Claudia mentioning his dad, and everything went downhill from that. They sat in the bed before doing his hair, and they talked about shitty dads, and unrequited crushes with the same girl.

That was the second time Steve fell in love using The Pause.

The next summer, in camp, right before confessing to Suzie, Dustin used The Pause, which gave him strength to do so. Suzie found it cute enough to actually give him his first kiss.

When they first started working in Family Video, Steve learned that maybe Nancy's legacy was the best thing he got from her. He sat on the counter a lazy day and told Robin about The Pause when he saw her weirded than normal, and she obliged and told about her identity issues. She also mentioned that the weirdest thing about that is the fact that she was starting to believe that Steve Harrington was his platonic soulmate, and she was afraid to tell him because he might break her heart if he didn't feel the same.

That was the third time.

Steve taught The Pause once more, to Eddie. They sat on his kitchen countertop, and there was a whole space between them, when Eddie told that he couldn't believe that he actually was ready to die, and he didn't know what to do with that now that he didn't. Eddie told him that he was scared that he'd gave up his place in the world, and now the world wouldn't give his spot back. Eddie told him that he was as afraid to leave as he was to stay in Hawkins, because he was starting to believe that he was falling in love with this hot jackass that was making him using a communication system that implied that they were not going to talk about it anymore in the future.

Steve broke The Pause to walk the space between them and kiss him, because those feelings were not meant to be approached just once in theit life. He needed them to be real, so he could say Steve that he loved him for the rest of his life.

That was the fourth, and the last time he fell in love using The Pause.

Funny thing is, The Pause was now a secret dynamic that everyone in the group knew, but Nancy wasn't aware by that, until The Pause came back to her.

And it came from Robin.

Robin taught Nancy The Pause when they run accidentally into each other a random night in a park, in late 1986. Robin knew something was wrong with her, so she took her to the swings and asked her to lift her feet from the ground. Then, Robin explained Nancy The Pause rules, who listened attentively, not fully believing what was happening. She considered to come clean and tell Robin that she knew about The Pause, that her mom taught her when she was a kid, but she left that unsaid. Instead, Nancy talked about how she felt that her relationship with Jonathan was going nowhere, and she was afraid that they were making each other miserable. She also told Robin about that she might have developed feelings towards another person. Towards a girl. Robin told her that she liked girls, too. Nancy told Robin that she was scared about that part of herself. Robin said that she got it, but it wasn't that scary once you surrounded yourself with the right people.

They held hands there.

That was the first time Nancy fell in love using The Pause.

[rpreaperperson]

Chapter 7: The cartel hide out

Warning : Long a** chapter about 1036, other than that none

MasterList

Ghost tapping his boots arm crossing on his chest, a frown plastered on his face even though he wearing a mask the others could tell that he was annoyed 

“Patient LT..” told Soap beside him who adjusting his rifle

 “Don't let Claw get cranky with you again Ghost, or I'll really gonna steal ‘er from you” a smug smirk planted on Graves's face

 “That’s a good idea, Oye Hermano! Make her angry with you again!” Alejandro perk at the idea

 ‘Heh...with that I will steal her away from 141’ a dirty plan formed in Alejandro's head

 “Colonel..” Rudy stares at Alejandro deadpan, The Colonel flinches at his second Commander as he slumps in defeat

 “...I mean.. don't want any trouble between you two..” Rudy nodded crossing his arm on his chest, staring intimidate at Alejandro 

 Then the Hybrid dramaticly comes... she wearing a civilian clothes of course she hid her ears in a hat along with her fluffy tails said that she got an intel of the cartel hide out and so is the El Sin Nombre ,God who knows where did she find out.., she panting after that running and so is her hair her peach sundress disheveled

“So...sorry! t-to kept you waiting...Mas..ter!..Haa..haa..I...I know where it is!”

“Whoa whoa Gatita calm down..here have some drink first” Alejandro handed her...a bottle of chocolate milk, as she gulp it greedily Ghost and Soap raised their eyebrows

“ya sure it's okay to give her chocolate milk?” Graves ask Alejandro skeptically, considering that cat is forbidden to eat or drink chocolate

“Ay hermano she’s a half human remember?” Rudy crossing his arm smirk at Graves

“Ah..yeah fair enough” Graves amused at the thought

“Beside its her favorite~..” Alejandro scratched under her neck after she’s done drinking her milk

‘How the F***  he knows that?!’ Ghost and Soap gaze at Alejandro in disbelief, they the one who know Claw longer than him

‘How the hell Alejandro get all chummy with Claw?!’ Soap pout getting the jealousy heat

Ghost cleared his throat approaching Claw

“You’re late..soilder”

“Ah! Master Ghost!”

“did you find it?”

“Yep~! Along with the El Sin Nombre, they told me that some people always calling El Sin Nombre name inside there and some um..bald man there said ‘Mándalo a El Sin Nombre’ and send people inside, ‘t was yesterday my intel heard it ” Claw explain to them

“Look likes that the place” Soap glance at Ghost who deep in thought as Alejandro does

“but um..well..” she’s a little bit hesistant fidgeting her sharp nails

“What it is Claw?” Ask Graves urge her to spill whatever information Claw has

“..its umm the cartel liutenant..and all of the VIP will come there” They look at each other absorbing the information, Claw's heart beating fast she has cold sweat not because after running but awaiting their reactions to this

After all she hasn’t yet shown them one of her most special skill...

“Claw..show us the place” Ghost command her, then she beamed as her tail and her ears popped out making the hat fell down

“Y-Yes Master!”

But one thing that on their mind is....where did Claw get the intel from?

.

 And then they’re gear up so is Claw who changed back from her civilian clothes, she direct them to the place and went spying on the Place

“La Casa de Sin Nombre..” Soap observe the Villa with telescope

“Um El Sin Nombre Lugartenientes its his”

“Good girl, you learning” Alejandro praise Claw rubbing between her ears, she lean into his gloved hand purring in delight

“Got any idea what the meeting about Claw?” Ask Ghost, then Claw point her finger at each of them still purring on Alejandro hands

“Las Almas is burning, and they want to know who lit the fire” Alejandro smirk

“You sure Sin Nombre will be there?” Claw nod at Ghost

“100%!”

“I got enough Shadow here to take over the whole damn country” suggest Graves, and Claw raised her eyebrows at his statement

“I prefer if you didnt” Alejandro dissagree

Claw detach herself from Alejandro as they discuss about the plan, she observe the villa with telescope

‘hm..maybe if I sneak in with my second form...’ Her ears twitching at the conversation

“Get one of us inside find the boss” Graves folding up his hands

“roll him up”

Tails swirling she volunteer herself to get inside the Villa

“I’ll do it!”

“I’ll do it”

Claw snap her head at Soap ,as he at her

And in that moment all of them became protective

“Na’ah Claw too risky” Graves crossing his arms eyes narrow at her

“Gatita...you go in there they’ll gonna kill you”

“Being a Hybrid making it more worse if they caught you Claw, they could use you”

“B-But Im gonna sneak in just fine, dont worry! And beside...I dont want to saw Master Soap get killed there...”

“Oh...Bonnie..I appreciate your worries, but Ghost right...if they caught you...its all over”

Claw pouting

“I...may’ve not yet tell you guys all of myself...but please!...trust me..I’ll sneak in and look for Sin Nombre..”

They look each other considering her words

“And how did you plan to sneak in there?Kitten? Its heavily guard..the only get in there is be the intel they want” Graves put his hand on his hip, Claw seemed a little conflicted at first

“....Could you guys give me some space?...the smoke is always make human cough”

They look confused but do what she told anyway, after that Claw close her eyes take a deep breath and letting it out slowly

Suddenly a puff of smoke coming out from her, making the other closed their eyes and nose

“C-Claw?!” Soap He swayed his hand around trying to get the smoke out of his sight

“What the...?” Ghost mutter squinting his eye, when the smoke gone....and so is Claw...Leaving only her clothes and gear on the floor

“The hell?” Graves approached Claw's shirt

Then the bump inside her clothes moved, the creature inside it getting out from it

Alejandro making an exicted gasp hands covering his mouth, his eyes glimering

“You...gotta be kiddin’ me” Soap huff in amused

“Mroww~” a fluffy creature , its blue wide eyes glowed in the dark , its fluffy tails swishing around

And so...Claw the cat Hybrid became a real CAT     

Taglist:  @lilpothoscuttings @kaoyamamegami                                

[henrysglock]

"I Have Nightmares—" "That's Not A Sin." "Yeah, Except I'm Pretty Sure I Can Actually Make Them Come True."

Okay. This is about to get real shrimpy, because I'm relying on mid-quality video for mid quality pictures...so you guys just have to work with me.

I think this sequence is almost entirely fake:

As in...I straight up don't think those tentacles or this sequence ever existed IRL.

I'm getting the feeling that Henry IRL attacked Mr. Newby the same way he later attacks Brenner and Inmate 58361:

Eye-crushing, no breaking bones for 58361 (very similar to El's kill style), and then shot straight through the ceiling for Brenner. Same as Mr. Newby, but in two parts.

I'm actually fairly certain Henry's having a vision in the attic sequence.

We see this same red lighting appear just minutes before, when Patty's mother turns into a Vecna-fied version of herself to attack Henry...the same Vecna-type makeup Patty gets in Henry's vision of her back during the first DOTM rehearsal:

You can't see it from this angle, but Patty's mom has even got the clawed left hand and everything while she's forcing void-Henry to move in sync with her.

The next time we see Henry IRL, the lighting is back to normal and he's levitating on his own:

They close the curtains:

And when they come back up, he's bathed in red and strung up on the tentacles with Dimension X lightning in the background:

When the sequence ends, Henry in the void/on the stage floor drops to the ground in a heap, and "Henry" on the tentacles falls into a crouch:

But when we see IRL Henry next, the lighting is normal and he's picking himself up off the floor, just like void Henry:

Hell, Henry even tries to hide in the light of a "perfect" memory (Patty and him getting kicked out of Melvald's) when red-light Patty tells him, and I quote, "It's not real, it's a nightmare," (words Henry says to himself constantly) before going on to tell him it doesn't have to be a nightmare, he can make it a good dream.

And when he starts to lose his grip on that memory, Patty in the red light tells him "It's your dream, remember? Anything is possible". Smash cut to the weird "I love you" and Henry freeing himself from the monster (for the moment).

This all becomes especially shrimpresting when you consider that it was red-lighting Patty who told Henry she loves him, and who snapped at him that he had to say it back to fight off the monster.

However, when Henry IRL tries to catch normal-lighting Patty to tell her where to find her mother, she screams "let go of me!" at him while she runs away and leaves him to pick himself up off the attic floor:

Patty remains terrified of Henry right up until Mr. Newby begs her to save him.

That doesn't sound like someone who just confessed their love to Henry as a way to try and walk him back out of the darkness. It just doesn't.

It sounds like, maybe, Henry pulling on a different memory of Patty to try and save himself, or something along those lines. (Staring at Stav's post about the void being the alternate timeline, since he would be both in the void and in a vision...Henward are you trying to save each other..? Anyway, that's shrimping for a different post.) Namely, the memory I'm thinking of is the confession booth scene. Henry tells Patty that he's pretty sure he can make his nightmares come true, and she advises him it's his dream, so why not make it a good one next time?

Arguably, you could say that Patty's trying that same shtick again under wildly different circumstances/she put it all together and knows what he needs to do to break free.

But then...if she, while being actively attacked, is so willing to stand by Henry/help him to the point where she's confessing her love for him, then why does she run and leave him to put himself back together even though he's obviously in distress? Why is she so terrified of him, to the point where she doesn't dare tell Bob about what really happened in the attic for fear of Henry coming after her?

It doesn't add up.

So, tl;dr: I don't think Patty ever said "I love you" to Henry at all. I think that whole damn sequence was a nightmare vision.

I think the "I love you" was something else, whether it be Henry subconsciously "making it a good dream" to save himself, irl Patty, and Mr. Newby...or someone else who a) knows what to do/how to help Henry, and b) is, as Patty says, "Connected, whether [Henry] likes it or not".

As a side note for support: Even Joyce and Hopper display more care for Henry post-attic than Patty does. Now, Patty is well within her rights to be terrified of Henry and not want anything to do with him, don't get me wrong...But don't try to tell me Henry and Patty are "true love/love at first sight" when Joyce and Hopper are ready to go take down Victor in part because Henry's gone missing.

The Jopper conversation when Joyce is convincing Hopper to help her take down Victor goes, and I quote:

Joyce: What about Henry, hm? Any explanation about what happened to him? Why no one knows where he is, or why it's like he disappeared? Hopper: No one knows anything...or if they do, they're not talking.

Meanwhile, Patty is refusing to talk about what happened in the attic because she's terrified that Henry's listening, and that he'll come after her if she talks.

That's not convincing for "true love/love at first sight".

[pinkeoni]

This moment keeps me up at night—

because it doesn’t align with what we’re being told the entire season.

The point that they tell us explicitly in the dialogue in season one is that Joyce was right about everything.

She wasn’t hallucinating, she wasn’t out of her mind, she was right.

So then, if Joyce was right about everything, if she wasn’t just hallucinating Will in a bout of hysteria, why then choose to show us a clear example where she is hallucinating Will?

Unless she wasn’t.

I will admit that there is a chance that this is just a dream or a hallucination. Joyce is very sleep deprived and was just told that her son had died. I wouldn’t put it past her to have dream visions of her newly dead son. The scene is also presented as if this is the case, with Joyce shown sleeping before seeing Will and then sharply waking up after the fact.

So okay, case closed, maybe it’s looking like this really is just a dream situation after all 😂 but I wanna just entertain the harmless idea that maybe the audience is being mislead with the dream allegations.

So the scene above actually happens right after we get the first confirmation that Will is still alive, when El is able to find him singing over the radio.

So we learn that Will is still alive at the top of the episode, the title sequence plays, and then we get a scene where Will appears right in front of Joyce. The sequence of events should be enough to at least raise an eyebrow.

At the end of the episode, Joyce recieves the verification for herself when Will is able to make contact with her. I want to point out that Will is able to do so while screaming for his mom, exactly the same thing that “dream” Will was doing.

So what do I think? That Will was actually physically in the Rightside Up? That he some how got through and then decided to go back in?

Well, no, not exactly, but he could have been doing some form of shadow walking— or his consciousness travelling to the other plane.

Of course since I’m a Will has powers truther I think that his powers are at play here. Shadow walking is brought up by Dustin in the subsequent episode—

And we see this very type of thing in season two with Will’s true sight.

Was Will just seeing into the Upside Down? Or was there a projection of himself that was physically in the UD? I’m going to say in the latter option, considering that the Mind Flayer was able to physically enter Will’s body during one of these true sight episodes.

Bringing it back to the scene at the very beginning of the post, I’d like to propose that this is what Will was doing, using his powers to shadow walk into the RU from the UD.

I don’t think Will waa be aware that he was using his powers. He was thrown into a high stakes situation, scared, and desperately wanted to get back to his mom and his powers were running amuck without him consciously knowing. This instance of him shadow walking to reach his mom is similar to what happens with the lights, his powers are activating as a way to reach his mom. It’s also implicated through dialogue that the thing with the lights is because of Will.

It would make total sense for his powers to activate in this way, even if he wasn’t conscious it was powers, based on how we know powers work in the show. It’s when El remembers the strong love that her mother feels for her that she is able to unlock her ability to open gates, a unique power that El herself probably didn’t even know she had.

So all of this being said, while made to be believable that Joyce was just dreaming, there’s still enough evidence to suggest that this image of Will was a manifestation of his powers.

Think about it this way, if you wanted Will having powers to be a twist, then you would want to write it in a way where the hints are all there, but there’s enough room to believe that the opposite is also true, so you aren’t playing all of your cards all at once. If Joyce was undoubtedly awake and seeing a vision of Will, that would be way too obvious right off the bat.

[hashimasims]

Ever since living together in Evergreen Harbor, Absalom and Kana spar with each other at least once a week. Back then, they could be found at the gym sometimes every day working out their issues with each other because Kan's apartment had been too small for them to lay into each other there. This is their therapy since neither of them will go talk to anyone about their personal demons and for the most part seems to work for them. This is what truly brought the men together to become a solid unit for Elucea, to work out their issues with each other and to even become friends.

Kanaloa: Any idea what day the Nanny is going to start working?

Absalom: They're not.

Kanaloa: They cancelled?

Absalom: No, El did. AND she told them not to accept a position in this house unless SHE is the one that calls. She doesn't want a Nanny to raise the kids in any capacity. She declined Tera this morning when she offered to take them for the afternoon for her. With her sisters having more kids, and I'm pretty sure they purposely got pregnant when they found out El was, she doesn't want to add more to the Servo's plate. She's been denying her every time she calls to take them. She does tell her to stop by and visit with them if she can but she doesn't want Tera TAKING care of them.

Kanaloa: WATCHERDAMMIT! I'm gonna kill her Abs! Unless her burnout does it first! She agreed!

Absalom: She really didn't though. I told her we were hiring one and didn't let her argue with me over it. She's obviously put her foot down on this. Just let it go for now. So, what did you plan for your date this week?

Kanaloa: I'm taking her horseback riding. The Unicorns should be here later tonight

Absalom: Unicorns? Where the Woohock did you get Unicorns?

Kanaloa: You're not the only one that has favors owed to them. I gave Poseidon a call, told him what I needed and now El will be the proud master of three Unicorns. AND he still owes me a favor because he's sending them as a gift to Elucea.

Absalom: What is he playing at? Can't be just a gift, Marco is always up to something. And you know she's not going to consider herself their Master, she's going to call them her children, same as she does every other furry creature on this ranch. I'm no longer allowed to turn the extra goats and sheep into plasma packs until their Elders. Thankfully I can take it from the cow and llama without killing them. And I guess the Unicorns now.

Kanaloa: I don't think he has any ulterior motives this time. It seemed like a genuine gift from a friend.

Absalom: I still don't trust him.

Kanaloa: Fair enough. Now, Since when do you drink animal blood, or even Plasma Packs? I thought you hated those things?

Absalom: It's not great but it works. I haven't asked El and she hasn't offered, and I won't ask you. I don't want to go around biting the neighbors and accidentally turn any of them. Well, any more of them. Apparently Umber Grove is now my Vampire Offspring. He came to visit, I don't know why, and I was SO thirsty, I only had a small drink to tide me over until the Sim-Plasma packs I ordered were delivered but I wasn't careful enough obviously.

Kanaloa: Well Woohock. Does El know.

Absalom: No, do you think she needs to?

Kanaloa: You might want to mention it, just in case any more turn up Turned now. Don't want her thinking you turned ALL of them.

Absalom: Shit! I didn't think of that.

Kanaloa: Course not.

Beginning|Previous|Next

[strangedreamings]

S3E3 (spoilers abound)

I knew that was a dream, it was too romantic. But good, Colin needs a wet dream or two about Pen. It's sad that it takes this to get him to realize he's attracted to her but hey, whatever works.

So Gregory didn't break his arm from being in the balloon like everybody guessed, interesting. Still chaotic, but not in the same way.

Colin, please, promise me you'll never play poker -- you couldn't bluff convincingly if your life depended on it. I'm glad Hyacinth is supportive of Pen, even if Eloise isn't.

"Must be rich, must be handsome, and he must be of high rank." John Stirling is an earl, one of the upper ranks of the nobility. Just saying...

Philippa really is dim. Let's hope that in her and Prudence's case, intelligence skipped a generation and any kids they have inherit Portia's brain. She's not perfect but she's leagues smarter than those two.

Mrs. Varley says Pen has a visitor and I assume it's Colin or Debling. It's El and my response? An out loud "What the fuck?"

Oh, El. She's maturing (slowly) but she's not ready for them to be friends again yet. Maybe by the end of E4? And can I just say that I LOVE that blue dress Eloise has on? She looks lovely AND SHE HAS HER FLOWERS BACK! So, the show's costume designer was holding back her flowers until she became more herself, got it.

Pen in a park and everyone's talking about her. Ugh. Honey, none of them are worthy of you. Take note of who's talking down about you now and when you're on top, see which of them kisses your ass. They're the ones to avoid like the plague.

God, I love weeping willows, they're like natural gazebos. And this one is HUGE.

Sorry, Pen, but the tulle in your hair looks stupid. It looks too much like you accidently left a curling rag in.

So now they're both nervous, so cute. Colin's world has been rocked to its foundations and he needs to find his footing all over again.

So, Debling is a vegetarian and a naturalist. He seems to prefer animals to people. Considering the ton, I can't say I blame him. Lady Cowper is threating to arrange a marriage for Cressida if she doesn't get married this season. No unconditional love there, that's for sure. Cressida, get yourself a husband whose estate is far from your father's and tell your parents the roads are bad, so they can never visit. That should keep contact with them restricted to letters and the Season.

I really hope this earl who just introduced himself to Francesca isn't John.

God, I love Alice. She's a sweeter person than the ton deserves. She's right about Colin being gallant, too bad he's only just starting to realize how badly he messed up.

Debling uses odd animal metaphors and his humor is a little whack but I like the guy. As long as he's honest about why he wants a wife, I'll support him. He's cute too. Beards were unfashionable during this era, so it's another sign that he doesn't care about what other people think.

Aww, Cressida. Yeah, your family doesn't support you at all. I'd ship her with Debling if they weren't so obviously wrong for each other. She does need a good man to marry her but I don't think she'll find him this season.

Oh, Colin, you are so far gone for Pen. Do something about soon, please, before you lose her forever.

I do not like Eloise's outfit. It looks like a modern business suit with an extra-long skirt.

I take it back, I think I do ship Debling and Cressida, but if what he's after is just someone to watch his estate while he's gone, I think she can do better. Still, isolation might be what she wants, who knows?

Eloise is third- and fourth-wheeling. I'd feel sorry for her but hell, she deserves this.

I just had to look it up -- yeah, "marriage whisperer" is a phrase that could have been used back then since "horse whisperer" was a phrase that was already in use. Still, it sounds too modern.

So, Lord Samadani's a marquess, not an earl. Is his first name John? Does he have a first cousin named Michael?

Debling, you're the one who insisted on this three-way conversation, figure out how to end it politely. Colin is so jealous. Do something about it.

Prudence's husband really is dim. She married him for his looks, didn't she?

Rescues all around. Debling's going to have to make his decision soon, this is getting ridiculous.

Another ball. A handsome man gives Violet her accidentally dropped glove. I assume this is the "unwanted" visitor Agatha was complaining about. Blood relative? Widowed in-law? He's the right age bracket for Violet, so that's good.

Cressida looks ridiculous and miserable. I have to wonder whose idea these gowns are -- hers? Her mother's? The modiste's? Whoever, they have no idea what they are doing. This one looks more like modern haute couture, and ugly haute couture at that.

Pen and Cressida in a literal race to Debling, good lord.

Okay, so Samadani is apparently not John. Good, he doesn't understand what Francesca's after.

BROTHER?! Interesting. He's hot. I love his voice and his thoughts on having grown children. Wow, if this is Violet's "gardener," she'll be fucking the brother of the woman who fucked her father. England really is a small country.

Who took a bunch of spoon handles and put them in Agatha's hair?

Agatha is in her own personal hell, I love it.

Is THIS John? He's not Scottish, going by what little he's said. Disappointing, but not the end of the world. Loves the quiet, understands that people need quiet, he's perfect for Frannie.

Shonda, Shonda, Shonda. Yes, a Lady can be a married woman HOWEVER, the daughters of dukes, marquesses, and earls are also addressed as Lady, so Benedict assuming Tilley is married is wrong.

This dance Tilley and Benedict are dancing looks like a cross between a waltz and a tango. I'm sure the choreographer was told to just give them whatever moves look best on camera.

Cressida really looks like she's going to cry. Ugh. I don't want her to suffer her book counterpart's fate.

Colin looks like he's about to kiss Pen in the middle of a crowded ballroom then in comes Debling to steal her away for a dance. Colin, please, move faster next time.

[renegade-diamonds]

The idea of Alpha!Nancy slowly becoming physically affectionate in public with Omega!Robin once they start dating/courting is rotting in my brain right now.

I have a AU in my head where arranged marriages are considered the norm in ABO culture, but it's encouraged for alpha and beta youth to explore themselves after presenting in order to gain some real-life experience.

Omegas, however, tend to be treated different depending on the religious views of their families and culture.

Robin comes from a poor family in Hawkins, although their family history goes far back to the town's founding. Her parents have the wonderful idea of arranging a betrothal for her during her Sophomore year, and Robin's scared as hell about what that means. She tries to run away several times, only to return later because she has no way of driving or supporting herself at this point.

Her friends don't see the big deal; it's normal for betrothals to be formed in order to foster community relations, and because parents are typically viewed as 'knowing what's best' for their offspring. She barely gets along with her group anymore, and her parents don't actually seem to see her when it comes to what she wants.

Eventually she gets the nerve to tell her parents that, at the very least, she cannot be paired with a male. They seem to get it, although that severely limits her options. There aren't many female alphas around her age group, and those that are there tend to migrate towards male omegas in order to keep up the "Adam and Eve" religious theme that dominates Christian culture.

Everything happens the same in the show, and following the Battle of Starcourt, after she has her first heat (besides her presentation), her parents inform Robin that they've found her a match that should please her. It's customary for the courting alpha to first make their intentions known by offering a gift picked out by the omega's parents before the omega is told of their identity, and Robin is left with little information on which family her parents organized her betrothal with.

To make matters worse, the whole Upside-Down group is currently being rocked by the Byers (and El) moving away, Jonathan and Nancy's unexpected break up, Max's slow distancing of herself, and Robin's new spot in the group.

By the time the Summer is over, Robin's ready to get back into the swing of school. She doesn't think of her loaming betrothal, or her mysterious future-mate. Robin figures she'll probably run away before things get serious anyway- Operation Croissant is still a possibility after all.

Steve is a good friend and listens to her worries, but he's got a weird gleam in his eye- like there's something he knows but can't say. He's shifty when confronted, and Robin eventually just excuses his behavior as him being distract or busy with his complicated love-life (she's so envious of the freedom his parents give him to date who he wants, even if it's only because they never have time for this son anymore).

The remaining kids seem oddly interested in her life as well. Mike's constantly asking her questions, wanting advice, trying to learn everything he can about her. Robin's not too weirded out by it, she knows he's probably trying to make up for El and Will's absence. Dustin and Lucas are a bit more reserved, but no less friendly, while Max unofficially adopts her as a big sister in a surprising turn of events.

She never sees Nancy, although she hears through the grapevine that the girl's been fighting with her parents lately- something that's gotten worse ever since the alpha's breakup with Jonathan. Robin doesn't push it there, since Nancy hasn't really given her any real reason to consider themselves' friends.

Her parents stay up late the night before the first day of Senior Year. She hears them on the phone, softly talking with someone else about whether or not their daughter has the 'gift' ready, and if everything was still good to go. She knows right away that they're talking about the betrothal gift, and Robin's terrified to realize that the courtship process was going to start soon.

She's completely unprepared to be greeted first thing in the morning by a frowning Nancy Wheeler, who arrives at her house instead of Steve to take her to school. Her parents are giddy the whole time, and Robin has a gnawing feeling in her gut that won't go away. Nancy drives in silence, hands tightly gripping the steering wheel. She's obviously upset, but at least had the consideration to wear scent suppressers so it didn't overwhelm the omega. Robin barely reacts when they pull into the parking lot, find a spot, and sit in the car blankly for a few minutes- watching the other students go by.

Nancy finally asks her if she knows what's going on, and Robin swallows uneasily but replies that she has a pretty good idea. Nancy sighs in response and pulls out a small bracelet box- a rather expensive one too. She gently opens it to show the omega the beautiful piece of jewelry within, and Robin feels her heart shudder in her chest. It's a silver piece, with dark gems cut into leaf-life shapes decorating it. It's not something she'd usually wear, but it goes well with her colors and style. Robin hates how much she actually likes it. Nancy reaches over and fastens the bracelet around her wrist, something tight and unhappy in her expression.

Robin realizes with a sinking heart that this must be what caused her breakup with Jonathan. Nancy looks at her so intently- there's anger, but it's not directed at her. Still, she understands the hesitation in the alpha's gaze. Despite the craziness of the last summer, they barely know each other, and Nancy's just lost the person who many thought was her soulmate.

Robin knows without thinking that she can't possibly compete with that.

Still, Nancy is oddly pensive. More students start to arrive, and Robin knows they're going to get a lot of rumors flying around now that this seems to be official. She doesn't know how she's going to handle it- she doesn't know how she's going to handle Nancy. This whole situation is properly fucked.

Finally, the alpha talks and Robin tries to listen without letting her own nerves show. She knows what's expected of her now, she doesn't want to give Nancy any more reason to hate this. Not when they're still not exactly sure what this is. (beyond the whole betrothal aspect of their, still very new, relationship).

However, she doesn't expect Nancy to tell her to get out of the car, because they're going to be late. She doesn't expect to be so hurt by the way Nancy disappears into the crowds as soon as she's able to. She doesn't expect the ache in her chest to form so easily, but Robin knows it was going to show up sooner or later either way.

[ash5monster01]

Perfect To Love Part 10

Pairing: Steve Harrington x FemReader!PlusSize

Warnings: fluff, mentions of bullying, body image issues, fat shaming, angst, trust issues.

Summary: Beth Walker was used to living in the shadows. She had only one friend and anyone else who paid her mind usually bullied her for her size. So she learned to keep her mouth shut, her head down, and her heart closed because she had to accept the fact that she would be nothing more than the fat girl to people. That is until Robin decides Beth needs more in life and that might just include a boy who she never would’ve thought could see her for who she truly was.

word count: 3,641

Part 9 ←→ Part 11

Masterlist

For once Steve wanted to be the one to avoid Beth but he knew it would be best not too. That she asked him to go to this football game even after she admitted that he had hurt her. So he stuck to his word, told the kids they had to come, and Nancy that he would see her later. Now he was bundled up in his jeans and a hoodie, parking his BMW in the dark parking lot, and walking towards the stadium lights with his hands shoved deep in his pockets. He felt sick from nerves and he knew he was acting funny. That was why Dustin had hounded him the entire way there about why he was in a mood. He couldn't tell him, he didn't think he could ever admit those words out loud. The kids and Steve spotted the girls standing below the stands, waiting for them with happy smiles. Beth flicked her eyes between Nancy and Steve, unsure if this was even a good idea after all. Where Steve was just grateful to see Eddie had decided not to come.

"Hey guys" Beth said once they reached her and before she could aknowledge any of them saying hi back Steve had her in a bonecrushing hug, his arms tucked under her arms, and head shoved between her neck and shoulder. It was almost as if he was trying to cover himself with her completely. Steve was, he wanted his hug to convey every apology he could muster and hope she could feel it, feel his guilt and need to comfort her.

"Alright, get a room" Mike huffed, heading towards the stands. Lucas and Dustin giggled but Max glared at them making them instantly stop. He had been moody considering El was now thousands of miles away and he didn't get to hug her like that when he wanted.

"You okay?" Beth nervously asked, sensing his guilt. She knew it, he was leaving her for Nancy and he felt guilty about it. That would be the only reason he was acting like this, like he was so apologetic towards her.

"Yeah, could we talk after the game?" his eyes turned serious and she gulped before nodding, realizing this would be the end of it. All in one day she was going to find out Colin liked her and Steve didn't anymore. She told herself she should be thankful, that she got to experience this at all even if it was only for a little while. She never imagined one boy liking her let alone two. Little did she know his guilt was from knowing what he did to her. She had never expected him to remember.

“Of course Steve” she told him trying to not seem so solemn. Steve didn’t notice, offering a soft smile as he locked his hand within her own and walked her up the stands. He wanted all those assholes to see and never ever hurt her again.

Beth had this image of herself as a little kid. Not necessarily popular but well liked, friends with most of her class, getting to go to friday night football, snuggle with a cute guy in the stands or wear one of the players jerseys as she cheered for him. It was an American dream in a sense. It was so vivid, the way the stadium lights illuminated her features and the big tiger in the center of the turf stared back at the stands. Maybe she was going to be a cheerleader, who knows? That dream was crushed the first day of freshman year. So even though she was a senior and Steve was more than likely dumping her tonight at least she got this one moment. Walking up the silver metal stands, dream boy Steve Harrington holding her hand, everyone looking down, sharing whispers that were more than likely mean, but Beth didn't care because she was at a football game with a cute boy and her friends, and for the next two hours she was going to enjoy it.

That was exactly what she did. She ignored every shared glance between Steve and Nancy, cheered for the team as loud as she could, and laughed with her new group of friends. Dustin told her all about his girlfriend Suzie, Mike felt comfortable enough to share about El, and Lucas snuggled with Max on the bleachers. Beth was glad they had that, something she always wished she did for four years straight. It didn't matter that the football team was always mean to her and that she only had these friends because of Robin and Steve. She got to enjoy it when a shiver chilled her spine and Steve was tucking her under his arm, pulled so close she could smell pine and boy. She loved it, she could never get sick of it.

"I can bring you home Mike if you need?" Nancy was telling her little brother as they decended the stands.

"Lucas and Dustin were going to come over if that's okay?" he asked back and Nancy nodded, quickly looking over to Steve. Beth realized it was probably hard to avoid your ex when your friend group worked as a family unit.

"I can take Max too if you guys want some privacy" Nancy told them, glancing between Steve and Beth and Beth felt her stomach drop. Nancy knew Steve was dumping her for her. She wanted them to have the privacy to do it.

"That would be great, thanks" Steve said and Beth tried to pull herself together. She wanted to save face, to stop handling things like a fat, hurt, crying girl. She was going to be adult about her first real break up even if they weren't offically together at all and hadn't even kissed.

"Who's going to drive me?" Robin pouted and the kids all giggled, forgetting that Robin was just like them when it came to needing to be driven around.

"We'll put you in the trunk" Nancy teased and Dustin looked at Steve, waiting to see if he would argue.


"Steve, I thought everyone had to wear their seatbelts?" his arms crossed, challenging him to challenge Nancy on her squeezing everyone in her car.

"What Steve doesn't know won't hurt him" Nancy said, ruffling the hat on his head, and pretending the brunette boy wasn't standing there. Beth found herself laughing even though Steve wasn't putting up a fight. Normally he'd stick his ground but apparently he needed to be alone with her so badly he didn't say a word.

"Be good for Nance" Steve pointed at them all as they walked away. Nance. Beth hated that he said it so easily, that if fell off his lips with respect, that they had history. She wished she was still bitter and didn't learn that Steve was now a good guy. Protecting those kids like they were his own. She wanted to be loved by him like that. Then he was glancing down at Beth, a soft smile splayed across his lips. "You ready?"

Beth wanted to say no. She wanted one more minute before he told her something silly like 'I'm sorry I ever started things with you, I've always loved Nancy, I'm going to fight to get her back' but Beth knew her time was already limited, there was no use begging for more now. "Yeah lets go"

Steve purposely parked next to her, that way they could walk together no matter what happened. Now in the dark parking lot he wasn't sure this was the place. Then again he didn’t want one of the places they shared a happy memory tainted by this, by his terrible actions. It was better to do it at the school, where the memory was held in the first place. "I don't even know how to start"

"I get it's hard Steve" Beth found herself saying, the now mainly abandened parking lot dark, the moonlight casting down on their skin. Steve leaned against the hood of his car, his hands still in Beth's and holding her close like she was going to flee at any moment.

"It's not like this is a conversation everyone has" Steve started to shake his head, not catching on that they were talking about two completely different things. Beth found herself being strong, ready to have this conversation.

"It's okay Steve, just say it. I'm ready" Beth urged him, taking a step closer even though if he moved just an inch he could feel her tummy, catch on to her actual size, realize it wasn't flat but jutted out and it would bother him.

"I don't know if I'm ready" he whispered and Beth sighned, her head hurting from fighting off tears but she knew she wore a pained look. She'd pick and choose her battles, she was done shedding tears over not being good enough. Starting right now.

"It's okay, just say you're picking Nancy and we can both move on" Steve's eyes widened as he looked at her, shock and confusion flooding through his features, thoughts running a mile a minute. Beth just figured he was confused as to how she knew.

"What?-" he started to blurt but was cut off by the slam of a car door, Colin Matterson stood now free of his uniform, hair wet with sweat, and an awkward look on his face. Beth hadn't been able to look at him since this morning. Even if he did like her, he never had to be as vile as he was. She was growing though, becoming a butterfly, and with guys like him you had to kill them with kindness. Just as Steve started to stand, ready to tell him to take a hike, Beth cut him off.

"Good job tonight Colin, that touchdown was impressive" Beth spoke into the air and Steve swore he saw the smallest smile on his face from the praise. Beth waited for something mean, prepared to take it like a big girl but it never came.

"Thanks, glad you guys came to support us" and just like that he was in his car, igniting the engine, and pulling out of the parking lot. Steve flashed Beth a confused look but before he could ask the memory of what she had said hit him and he decided to table it for a later time.

"I am so not picking Nancy" he said, regrabbing Beth's hands and pulling her flush against him. She wanted to panic about him feeling her, all her curves, the weight of her, but his words were making her ears ring and now she was more confused than ever.

"But I saw you outside, you were holding hands and hugging. I just assumed..." Steve was shaking his head, almost laughing at the mix up but he needed her to hear him, to understand.

"She was just giving me advice, I wanted to make sure I didn't screw things up with you and no one is more honest than your ex girlfriend" he said, an amused smile on his face. Beth let it settle that he had went to her for advice, not to reignite the spark. Her heart eased for just a moment before speeding up again, because what did he need advice about?

"Then why did you need to talk to me?" she wore a puzzled expression, trying to figure it out and Steve visibly winced, squeezing his eyes shut like the memory of his original conversation pained him.

"I remember B, I remember all of it" the words gut punched her, the memory of how mean his voice was that day. How unecessary all of it was. How it ruined the rest of highschool for her, she was never comfortable in her own skin ever again. Unwillingly she took a step back from the boy, not allowing herself to feel his comfort because he had hurt her. Steve's heart broke when she did.

"You remember?" she whispered, trying to wrap her mind around the fact that he actually remembered, from all those years ago, the pain and discomfort of it all.

"Please let me start by saying how sorry I am. I regretted it the day I did it. I don't even know why I went along with Tommy, I knew he was a dumbass. I guess I was just scared" but Beth was shaking her head, dropping his hands as she tried to process what was happening. This had turned completely from the conversation she had expected to have. She wasn't tough enough for this one yet.

"I was excited that day" Beth didn't want to make him feel any worse but her mind had returned to fifteen year old her. Scared, excited, ready to grow up and have the best four years of her life. She knew she was different but nobody had said it out loud yet. She never would've thought someone saying it could hurt her so much.

"Beth" Steve was reaching for her but she was still shaking her head, fighting off tears because of how badly the memory hurt her.

"I thought I could rule the world, make new friends, try out for clubs and sports. I spent the whole first day hiding in bathrooms and crying" Steve flinched as she admitted this. He remembered being over it by third period, having buried the memory so deep he couldn't even remember it.

"I know baby, I know. I should've defended you, apologized years ago, but the reason I forgot wasn't because I didn't care, it was because if I let myself care too much I'd hate myself. It is no excuse but I was a stupid teenager, the guy I am now would beat the shit out of the guy I used to be" Steve said, arms finally locked on her. She didn’t fight him as he pulled her into a hug, hand smoothing down her hair. "If it helps I do hate myself for it"

"I don't hate you, so you shouldn't either" she told him, smiffling into his chest. She hated how warm he was, how him touching her made her skin tingle, how he made her love him when she vowed to hate him forever. She didn't hate him though. That made all the difference.

“Just know I’m so sorry, I’m going to spend the rest of my life making up for it. I’ll even try and make Tommy and Carol apologize” Beth snorted, it wasn’t pretty but she didn’t care. She squeezed him tighter, heart warming over because he remembered for her and he wanted to make things right.

“That would be useless, Karma will get them with time” she told him and Steve grinned before kissing the top of her head. That was when she remembered.

I can’t kiss you unless I feel your true intentions behind it.

She knew he remembered too. She could tell because the air was heavy just like it was in the car that night. When he was so close all she could think about was him. Not about her weight, about her loneliness, only him. A guy who saw her for what she was and not for the things that made her less. A guy who wanted to kiss her exactly as she was. A guy she had been waiting for, for a really long time.

“You said I could kiss you once you knew I meant well” Steve whispered, his fingers tucking her soft curls behind her ear. She shivered as they continued to trail down her neck and bump against her collarbone.

“Well that, and…” Beth didn’t want to say it. She was hoping she’d have sometime while he tried to remember to come to terms with her size. Convince herself that being fat didn’t bother him.

“And what baby?” he asked, a hand cupping behind her neck and the other wrapped around her waist.

“And when I knew my size didn’t bother you” Steves heart broke, thinking she felt she wasn’t worthy of being kissed because she didn’t think she was attractive. This was that tough line he didn’t want to screw up. He didn’t want to say the wrong thing.

“Baby, your size never bothered me. It didn’t that first day of school and it doesn’t now. If it did I would’ve never bothered getting to know you in the first place” his words eased her heart, a warmth flooding through her stomach and up to her chest. She realized she was starting to like him way more than she ever planned on.

“You mean that?” she asked into the chilly air, the small street lamps barely hitting them in the darkness of the parking lot.

“I mean everything” he told her, eyes flicking down to her lips. He wanted to memorize how they were curved, how the top lip was smaller than the bottom lip but that might just be because her bottom lip jutted out naturally, a permanent pout that looked so gorgeous on her. He also never wanted to forget the perfect pink color, a color he swore he had never seen before. He wondered for a moment if it would change when her lips met his own. “Can I kiss you?”

“I trust you” and Steve knew that meant yes. That she had forgiven him in someway even if the wound still hurt. His head dipped down and he watched as her eyes fluttered closed, a nervous breath visible in the cold.

Steve smiled before completely ducking down, his neck bent nearly as far as it could to meet her height. He slid his hand up her neck, fingers tangling through her hair as he guided her up to meet his mouth. They were right there, angled perfectly against each other and Beth let out a small gasp as his lips brushed her own. Just as Steve went to take a breath in he pressed his lips firmly against her own. Taking all of her in. She tasted like cherries and he realized cherry was now his favorite flavor. Beth wasn’t quite sure what to do, she had never been kissed, but slowly she mirrored Steves movements. Slowly she closed her own lips around him and found herself smiling. Steve grinned right back, smiles pressed against each other as he drank up all of her that he could.

Beth’s arms were tangled around his neck, Steve moving his arms to wrap around her waist as he kissed her like an innocent teenager would. They didn’t need anything more, just a simple first, lips locked and discovering exactly what the other person felt like. Beth knew she could do this forever, just her and him in this dreadful parking lot. The exact parking lot that had been many firsts for them.

“I better get home” Beth spoke after they broke apart for air, foreheads still pressed together as she breathlessly chuckled.

“Yeah, me too. Drive safe for me?” Beth nodded and he grinned before pecking her lips once more and guiding her to her car. Closing her in he offered one last smile and wave before the corvette engine was revving loud enough they wouldn’t be able to hear each other.

Beth couldn’t wipe the smile from her face even if she tried. It was like it was broken. The whole ride she fought herself to drop the corners of her mouth and yet they wouldn’t go away. It didn’t even matter that her cheeks were hurting, she was so happy she was beaming. Her first kiss, and it couldn’t have been any better. She was shocked she even made it home because she was completely dazed out, remembering how sweet he had kissed her, how he tasted like peppermint. She was so busy thinking about it she found herself pushing open the door to her home and falling against it as soon as it was shut.

“A good night?” Beth heard the voice ask, it sounded too far away for it to even register.

“Hmm?” she hummed, still beaming as she remembered every touch, how pillowy soft his lips were.

“I asked if it was a good night?” snapping out of it she shook her head as if to clear the memory of Steve just to see her father in his easy chair with an amused smile.

“It was a great night” she recovered, pushing off the door and all Alan could do was snicker before turning back to the TV.

“You better get upstairs before your mother sees you” Beth furrowed her eyebrows and he turned to see her confused look. “I can see ‘I just got kissed’ written across your forehead. So unless you want her hounding you with questions you better get going”

“Oh” Beth blushed, now embarrassed her father had figured it out. She needed a better poker face. Quickly she started for the stairs.

“It better of just been a kiss or I’ll have to kick his ass” he told her as she moved up the steps and quickly she nodded.

“Understood sir” she told him and Alan just shook his head as his daughter disappeared upstairs.

“Teenagers” he muttered under his breath before chuckling.

“Oh did I miss Beth?” Allie came from the kitchen and Alan gave her a quick smile. Covering for his daughter.

“Yeah she was pretty tired so she went right to bed” he told her and she nodded before moving to sit beside him.

“I’m glad she’s finally getting out there” she told him and he nodded, reaching to grab his wife’s hand. She knew what she meant, that they had been worried she would never make friends. Now here she was, coming home love struck from kissing a boy. Who would’ve thought.

“Me too, as long as she doesn’t get hurt”

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