#but can people stop telling me intimate details about their sex life upon first meeting!!!!!!

[assmaster-8000]

"wow i sure am excited to make new friends!"

me when someone talks to me for more than 15 minutes;

[moonbeamwritings]

Imagine a scenario based off a dream I had, modern AU where DIO is like 28 a single father, Lawyer to the Stars on the Coast of California with little 7 year old Giorno.

The Reader, Tired- maybe coming off an over night shift, half asleep is casually walking down the busy sidewalk, catches sight of a distracted Giorno not waiting at the cross walk (on his Gameboy or something) and in an instantly the reader pulls Giogio out of the way of an on passing car.

Boom. Dio saw it all and starts scolding Gio. I woke up after that bit.

Point is... I wonder what would have happened next 🤔😕😳

this is cool as hell, anon. cool. as. hell. i’m here for it and i will definitely try to deliver !! it got very out of hand, but i hope you enjoy!! 

part 2

Your day had been long, having worked open to close at the coffee shop down the street from your apartment. As your shift came to an end, you blearily worked through the closer checklist, puttering around the store as you cleaned and closed everything down. With one last turn of a key, you finally, finally, began your trek home.

As you came up to the crosswalk, you noticed a little boy toddling along, gaming system in hand as he went. He was so wrapped up in his game that he barely gave the busy street a second thought as he stepped a foot off the curb.

It was like you were watching the situation in slow motion, his foot moving at a snail’s pace right in front of a moving car. Acting on adrenaline alone, suddenly far more awake than you’d ever felt in your life, you gripped the handle of his backpack to yank him up and into your arms.

With him back on the sidewalk, you placed him back on his feet as you knelt in front of him. “Jeez kiddo, you alright? You have to pay better attention around here.”

As the small boy opened his mouth to say something, a man with a thick british accent came hustling over. “Giorno! How many times do I have to tell you to put that thing away when you’re walking?”

The man, who you could only assume was his father, pulled the device from the boy’s hand before lifting him up into his arms. “Don’t do that again.”

His son nodded meekly, eyes shifting down to his father’s shoes.

“I’m sorry about him. I thought he was right next to me.”

You waved the man off as your gaze finally moved to meet his. He was handsome, like something out of a fairytale, all muscle with perfectly styled blond hair and an impeccable, no doubt expensive, suit. In the back of your mind, you felt as if you’d seen him before, but, being unable to place it, you brushed the thought away.

Saving yourself the embarrassment of ogling at the man for too much longer, you excused yourself. “It’s no problem. Have a nice night you two.”

With the situation over with, you continued your walk home.

Upon your arrival, you did everything you could to decompress: showering, changing, and situating yourself on your couch to watch mindless television. As you flicked through channel after channel, you finally landed on a celebrity gossip station, half listening as the host worked through this week’s hot topics.

You rolled your eyes.

She went on to describe yet another celebrity’s messy divorce, among other criminal charges apparently. Your attention was quickly piqued, though, when a familiar face flashed onto your screen. There he was a perfect combination of muscle, confidence, and style.

Dio Brando.

The man whose child you’d saved, who you’d embarrassingly checked out in a tired stupor, was Dio Brando. It took everything in you not to bring a hand up to smack at your own forehead. No wonder you’d recognized him, he was any celebrity’s dream lawyer and had his own fair share of scandals and nonsense. 

Yikes.

With one final look at the man in question, you changed the channel, hardly able to bear the gritty details of a court case you didn’t care about.

The whole incident with him and his son became nothing more than a blip in your day-to-day life, telling a few work friends and leaving it at that. Did you sometimes check Dio’s Instagram out of what you explained away as genuine curiosity? Well, yeah, but you were only human after all.

The weekend after your run-in with the famous lawyer, you were tasked with another long shift slaving over coffee orders and dealing with rude customers. The moment the morning rush ended, you jumped at the chance to take your lunch break, situating yourself in a corner of the café. You watched as only a few customers filtered in and out, thankful that the worst of the day was now over.

Losing yourself in your Twitter feed, you mindlessly sipped at a cup of tea as the remaining time of your break ticked away, only snapping back to reality at the sound of a familiar voice.

“Mind if I join you?” Looking up from your phone, you locked eyes with Dio. 

“Oh! Uh, sure!”

You watched as he delicately sat himself in the chair across from you, ankle perched on his knee as he shot you an unwavering smirk. As he got situated, he stuck a hand in your direction.

“Dio Brando.”

Biting back a snarky quip about how narcissistic his introduction alone made him seem, you gently placed your hand in his as you gave him your name.

“I wanted to thank you again for what you did for my son.”

“It’s really no problem. I think anyone would have done the same.”

He eyed you carefully, fingers dancing against the mug in front of him. “So, what do you want?”

“Excuse me?”

“As repayment.” He explained like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Do you want money?” Dio leaned across the table to mumble, “Sex, maybe? I don’t like leaving debts unpaid.”

A look of disgust crossed your face as you put both your phone and drink down on the table, moving to sit on your hands to resist the urge to smack him upside the head. “What are you talking about? I don’t want anything. I was being nice. You don’t need to pay anyone off for being nice.”

“Hmm,” He seemed deep in thought, eyes drifting up and down your face, lingering on your lips for only a split second, “nothing at all? You do know who I am, don’t you?”

With your break coming to an end and your patience wearing thin, you started to collect your things. “Look, pretty boy, I don’t really care who you are. You’re honestly kind of insufferable. I helped your son because he was in trouble. I don’t want your money and I don’t want to have sex with you.”

You hadn’t meant to be quite that biting, but you couldn’t help yourself. How dare he come into your work, assume that he owed you something, and then have the audacity to tease you about it? What the fuck?

“Pretty boy?”

“I need to get back to work. I’d really appreciate it if you didn't come back in here if you’re just going to pull more of this shit.”

Without sparing him a second glance, you made your way back behind the counter, placing your stuff in the back before returning to your place at the register. By the time you returned, he was gone. Good riddance.

You could only assume how warped his worldview was if he genuinely thought he needed to pay you off for helping his son. A creeping feeling of sympathy worked its way into your brain, but was quickly swatted away by the image of his smug smile.

You didn’t see him again for another week, this time armed with a grin that was a little less playful and a little more genuine, almost sheepish.

Taking his order with little fuss, you got to work pouring his coffee and adding specific ingredients. He attempted to make idle conversation with you, asking about your day and how you’d been doing with work. You humored him, if only to be polite, answering his questions with little enthusiasm.

Days passed much the same way. Dio would come in, make small talk, and then leave. No further incidents like that first meeting, no more overt attempts at getting in your pants. Nothing.

It was all… strange, to put it simply. It was like dealing with two different people: the overconfident, well-dressed Dio Brando versus the charming single dad Dio. You were left conflicted, wrestling the two images in your mind to decide how you truly saw Dio.

One night, he’d offered to walk you home after another of your late shifts with the promise that he’d get up to no funny business, as you’d put it. The conversation had lulled as you both became enraptured with the noises of the city, your faces bathed in warm neon lights. The silence was nice, welcomed even, as you thought about how to phrase your feelings.

You’d come to like Dio, in your own silly little way. You had memorized his order, knew more about his job and his son, knew him more intimately than you had ever expected to, but one question remained. One question loomed in your brain, clouding any positive thoughts you may otherwise have: Why? Why did he suddenly come into your work? Why did he take such a liking to you? Was it all a ruse, a sick way of finally repaying you?

“You look like you’re about to throw up.” He commented lightly, watching as a crease formed between your eyebrows, as your face twisted in discomfort.

“I-” You took a deep breath, looking anywhere but at him in order to actually get the question out. “Dio, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” He spoke earnestly, eyes still tracing over your side profile.

“Why?”

“Why what? You’re going to need to be more specific.”

“Why would you keep coming into the store after I told you off? I just can’t shake this feeling that you’re still… ugh,” you groaned as the words left your mouth, deciding that this was actually a very bad idea, “I don’t know, buttering me up. Like this is all some dream where I’ll wake up to you laughing in my face, telling me that you were only being nice to me to repay me or sleep with me or something.”

Wordlessly, Dio grasped your arm and led you under the awning of a nearby business, not really wanting to stop sidewalk traffic with whatever confession he may find himself making. He looked deathly serious, like you’d just promised to ruin his entire life. Maybe, with all of your questioning, you had.

“Look,” he sighed, “Did I initially come in with the intention of repaying you by whatever means necessary? Yes and I think we both know that, but it’s different now.”

He paused, clearly choosing his next words very carefully. “You’re one of the only people to actually try to put me in my place, to show me that I was being an asshole. It’s different with you. Hell, you kept me up that night. I couldn’t get you out of my head. It was like you were haunting me, driving me crazy. I had to get to the bottom of why I was so taken with you.”

You felt your mouth drop open at his admission, feeling as though your feet were swept right out from under you, sending you tumbling, “Oh.”

“Oh.” Dio mimicked, his voice lilting up to tease you. “Does that answer your question?”

“Uh, I-... Yeah, I guess it does.”

“Good then let’s go.” He tugged you along, guiding you back out onto the sidewalk and towards your apartment. Dio’s hand didn’t leave yours until you arrived at your doorstep.

“Goodnight.” It was quick, uttered as soon as his hand left yours as he moved to turn around and make his own way home.

“Wait, where are you going?”

“Home. I have a kid, remember?”

“Well, of course I remember, but don’t you want to hear what I have to say?”

The smile that graced his face was nothing short of teasing, a small quirk of his lips as he looked you up and down. “Only if it’s interesting.”

“Ugh,” you grumbled, stomping down the stairs of your apartment complex to come face-to-face with Dio, “you’re relentless.”

“So I’ve been told.” He watches as your lip twitches in annoyance. God, did he love to push your buttons. “Spit it out, then. What’s still on your mind? Eager to ask me more questions?”

In lieu of a verbal retort, you took his face in your hands and all but yanked him down to connect your lips with his, eager to finally shut him up. His response was immediate, moving his lips against yours as a hand weaved around your waist, another resting just above your ass.

As you moved to break away, his lips followed yours, pressing another needy kiss to your mouth. Finally satiated, he pulled back to take in the dazed expression on your face.

“I do have one question.”

Dio let out a barking laugh that had him pulling you closer, gripping at your waist, “What is it?”

“Is sex off the table now that you’re not trying to repay me or-?”

He rolled his eyes, leaning in so his lips barely touched yours as he spoke. “I’m sure we can figure something out.”

[ploppythespaceship]

In Defense of Will Riker

Riker gets such an unfair reputation in the Star Trek fandom. So many people genuinely can’t stand the guy, which is their right. He can be a somewhat boring character with a strange and even nonexistent character arc. But a lot of this dislike stems from the idea that Riker is a sexist, misogynistic creep who is actively trying to get into the pants of every woman he meets. Which is so far from the truth, I don’t understand how it’s still the perception.

First of all, we’ve done this song and dance with Kirk before. Enjoying dating and sex does not make someone a creep. If everyone involved is a consenting adult, it shouldn’t matter who you’re dating and/or sleeping with.

Secondly, TNG goes out of its way to show that Riker is a great guy. If you actually go through his episodes and look at how he treats both the women he works with and the women he’s interested in, you’ll see that he always treats them with respect. And in instances where he has an easy opportunity to take advantage, he never does it. Because Will Riker is a gentleman who drinks his respect women juice.

I’m so sick of this argument that under the cut I’ve compiled all of Riker’s important relationships with women on the show to demonstrate exactly what I mean.

I pulled most of these from the relationships section of Riker’s Memory-Alpha page, which is pretty thorough, and a few just from memory since I rewatched the whole show pretty recently. I don’t think anything relevant has been left out, but feel free to let me know if you think of something else. I’m all for some civil discussion of these things! Emphasis on civil.

Deanna Troi

Starting with the big one! The very first episode establishes that they have a romantic history, and have since split up. The details of their relationship are pretty scarce, but it’s clear that they had an intense, intimate connection. Initially they’re awkward but professional around one another, and this eventually softens into genuine friendship. They are close, possibly closer than anyone else on the ship. But Will never, not once, pressures Deanna into romance with him. He is entirely respectful towards her. In a few episodes they’re possibly shown to be dating again (it’s unclear) but Deanna gives no indication of being uncomfortable with this arrangement. When they officially get back together in the films, their feelings are clearly mutual and neither is being pressured into anything.

Frankly, Will and Deanna are an excellent example of a healthy relationship with one’s ex, respecting boundaries while maintaining closeness. The two of them are always shown supporting each other. It always bugs me that people think there’s something insidious going on here. Will isn’t just trying to get back into her pants. He genuinely loves and respects her.

And it’s worth mentioning that in “Second Chances”, when Deanna is interested in dating the alternate version of him (later known as Thomas), Will clearly isn’t thrilled about it, but also respects her decision and does nothing to intervene. When she talks to him about it, he is very clear that he does not expect her to ask for his opinion or for his approval, and that as long as she’s happy, he supports her.

Tasha Yar

Frankly they don’t have many distinct interactions that I recall, but Riker treats her the same as he treats everyone else on the crew. He is respectful of her, her rank, and her position.

Beverly Crusher

Not a hint of romance in their relationship. They are friends with a healthy connection built on mutual trust. Again, he is respectful of her, her rank, and her position.

Kathryn Pulaski

You can copy paste everything I said about Crusher, tbh. They’re friends and quite respectful of one another. Nothing untoward happening here.

Lwaxana Troi

Lwaxana flirts with Riker sometimes. Cause she flirts with everyone. Though she leaves him alone a bit more since he’s involved with her daughter. And yet again, Riker is entirely respectful of her, though he does gently have to tell her to back off at times. Eventually they settle into the classic son-in-law / mother-in-law relationship.

Beata (“Angel One”)

Does this episode suck? Yep. Is this relationship awkward as hell? God, yes. Is Riker being misogynistic? Nope! He actually goes out of his way to be respectful of this matriarchal society’s customs, even wearing an outfit that many in his culture would consider demeaning. Not to mention, Beata is primarily the one coming onto him, not the other way around. He’s simply reciprocating. It might be poor judgment, but it’s again entirely mutual and consensual.

Minuet (“11001001″)

Riker goes into the holodeck to relax, and then meets a nice holograhic lady to help him do just that... and people get mad that he enjoys that? Minuet is programmed specifically for this. Not to mention the Bynars literally designed her to be irresistible for him. Of course he’s gonna be besotted with her. And, issues of hologram sentience aside (Trek hadn’t delved too deelpy into it by that point), this is once again entirely consensual.

Minuet does pop up again in “Future Imperfect”, sort of, simply because Barash needed to choose a figure to serve as Riker’s late wife. With someone unable to distinguish holodeck memories from real ones, Minuet would seem like a perfectly reasonable choice.

Brenna Odell (“Up the Long Ladder”)

This is an entirely consensual one night stand. The feelings are clearly mutual. Even while they’re bickering, it’s obvious there’s an attraction underneath it, on both sides. Again, their fling might be poor judgment, but absolutely not misogyny.

Yuta (“The Vengeance Factor”)

This is one of the few episodes where I can see why their relationship might make some viewers uncomfortable, but I also think it’s the most telling as to why Riker is not the creep people assume him to be.

The cultural and status differences between them place Riker at a clear power advantage compared to Yuta, which makes for an imbalance. Yuta is a servant, and her entire mindset is that of serving others. Having a relationship on equal footing with someone like Riker is entirely foreign to her, and she struggles against her instincts to follow all of his wishes without question. That being said, Riker does basically everything he possibly can to address and negate that imbalance. He does his utmost to respect her and her position. He doesn’t force her into anything she isn’t ready for. Any time she tries to fill the role of a servant for him, he stops her to explain that he wants her to be his equal. You could argue that this relationship is inappropriate regardless, because the power imbalance still exists whether he wishes it to or not, but I think it’s important to note how dedicated he is to not taking advantage of this girl.

And of course, at the end of the episode he is forced to choose duty over love and must kill her, but it’s hardly his fault that she’s a secret assassin.

Lal (“The Offspring”)

He flirted with her while unaware of who she was, and stopped immediately upon realizing. And she kissed him, not the other way around. Just look at his face! He clearly didn’t expect that. He did absolutely nothing wrong here. Using this brief scene against his character is just absurd.

Commander Shelby (“The Best of Both Worlds”)

For some reason the consensus in this episode is that Riker is rude to Shelby because she doesn’t want to sleep with him. And that’s just a complete and utter misread of the episode.

First, there is absolutely no indication that Riker is romantically interested in her. Nor does she does not reject his advances, because no advances are even made. Second, Riker gets short with Shelby at times because she has been assigned to work under his command, and she’s questioning his decisions and generally being difficult to work with. It’s literally his job to call people on things like that. That being said, he’s never particularly rude to her -- at least, no more rude than she is to him. They also grow into mutual respect by the end of the episodes, to the point where he trusts her to serve as his first officer.

Lanel (“First Contact”)

( TW: rape mention )

Quite frankly the next person to point to this episode as evidence of Riker’s misogyny is getting slapped. She. Raped. Him. Full stop. He needed to escape, she offered to help if he slept with her, and he agreed because at the time it was the only way to save his life. Consent under duress is not consent. He does not appear comfortable with the arrangement, and his joking afterwards is forced. So let’s just stop holding this episode up as proof of Riker’s sexism, mkay? He was undeniably the victim here.

Carmen Davila (“Silicon Avatar”)

There’s not much to glean from their brief interaction where Riker asks her to dinner, but again: feelings are mutual. Everyone’s consenting. Nothing untoward happening here. Besides, she’s killed not five minutes into the episode, so it doesn’t particularly matter.

Etana Jol (“The Game”)

Riker’s having a fling with her on Risa. Because that’s what you do on Risa. You go vacation and have fun, and if you so choose, you can find someone else there wanting to have fun. And you have some sexy fun together. That’s just how it goes on Risa.

Also, she’s revealed to be playing him and literally brainwashes him to access the Enterprise. So the situation is not entirely within his control. Again, let’s not blame the victim here.

Ro Laren

There’s clearly sexual tension between them in some episodes, which mostly comes across as bickering. Riker is sharp with her when he needs to be, as a commander, but also tells her when she’s done a good job. The only time they sleep together is in “Conundrum”, when all their memories are erased. Therefore they’re unaware of the context that a romantic relationship isn’t entirely appropriate. When they remember again, they are awkward but respectful of one another, and now have a stronger friendship for it. And I’ll say it for the umpteenth time: mutual and consensual.

Soren (“The Outcast”)

This episode is controversial as hell, and it’s always a tricky one to dive into. But as far as Riker’s relationship with Soren is concerned: there’s honestly nothing bad happening here. He is respectful of her culture and is impressed by her as a pilot and scientist. Though he clearly has feelings for her, it’s unclear if he would have been the first to pursue them, because she confesses hers for him first. Before then, he was entirely professional with her. Only when their mutual attraction is confirmed does Riker actually pursue a relationship with her.

(Side note, that conversation is also when she comes out to him as female.(Yes, Riker was attracted to her before knowing she was female! At the time he believed her to be androgynous/non-binary. Which makes him canonically not straight.)

Additionally he is 100% respectful of her gender -- one of the only people to do that, in fact -- and does what he can both to respect her culture while also supporting her and her journey. He’s genuinely gutted when she’s forced to conform to the expected gender of her society, and isn’t allowed to be who she truly is.

Don’t get me wrong, this episode is a hot mess in many other aspects, but Riker’s treatment of Soren is one of the few things it got right.

Kamala (“The Perfect Mate”)

Is this episode super uncomfy with an almost laughably sexist plot? Oh yeah. But can we blame Riker for anything? Not really. Kamala can read men to make herself everything they desire -- the perfect mate, as the episode’s title says. Naturally this extends to her scenes with Riker as well. She flirts with him, comes onto him, and he’s clearly very into it. They kiss briefly, he’s tempted -- and then he stops her, because he knows this isn’t appropriate and she’s promised to someone else.

Let me say that again: Riker has a perfectly willing woman in front of him, who is literally doing everything in her power to be as appealing to him as possible. She is right there for him to have if he wants. Which he does. And he still tells her no, to keep a clear professional boundary between them. It would have been so easy to take advantage of that and later say she was too irresistible. Yet he didn’t.

Amanda Rogers (“True Q”)

Amanda is a young girl, 18 at the oldest, when she arrives aboard the Enterprise. She’s pretty enamored with Riker, cause she’s a kid who doesn’t have a great sense of what’s healthy/appropriate and what’s not yet. Riker is very aware of this, and does absolutely nothing to encourage her. He sets boundaries where appropriate and is obviously just waiting for her crush to die down, so he doesn’t have to hurt her feelings. When Amanda really starts to make moves on him, he very clearly tells her no. She actually starts to force him to play out her romantic fantasies using her Q powers, though she stops when she realizes it’s not real and isn’t right. Riker does nothing wrong in this episode.

Rebecca Smith (“Genesis”)

There’s nothing to go on here except that they had a date in the holodeck. Everything seems on the up and up. She’s not even shown onscreen, just mentioned in a couple lines of dialogue. I’m just including her for the sake of being thorough.

tl;dr

All of Riker’s relationships are either entirely consensual, or non-consensual with him as the victim. In several situations he could easily have taken advantage of someone, but never does, instead choosing to set clear boundaries. I have been thinking and scouring through Memory-Alpha and I genuinely cannot find a single instance in which he behaved in a sexist or misogynistic manner. That isn’t to say it never happened, I certainly can’t remember every moment of a seven season show. But it’s hardly a defining character trait for him the way many seem to think.

There are plenty of other reasons to dislike Riker. He can be immature. He rather stupidly stays in the same position for a decade because he can’t be bothered to take his own command the way he should. He can be a bit dull as a main character. The way he gets into chairs looks very stupid. But he is not sexist or a creep. *drops microphone*

[ardentaislinn]

Yuletide Letter 2020

Hi! I am also ardentaislinn on AO3. Thank you so much for volunteering to write one of my chosen fandoms! I really can’t wait to see what you come up with. Most importantly, I hope you have fun writing whichever of my fandoms it is. Any suggestions I make here are optional.

Here you’ll find:

My general likes

My DNWs

And prompts for the following fandoms:

Peninsula: Train to Busan 2 (2020) - Jung Seok, Min Jung, Joon Yi, Yoo Jin

Stranger | 비밀의 숲 - Hwang Si Mok, Han Yeo Jin

Kingdom | 킹덤 - Prince Lee Chang, Seo Bi

Illang: The Wolf Brigade | 인랑 (2018) - Im Joong Kyung, Lee Yoon Hee | Kim Seo Hee

A quick note on the Korean names - I’m fine with however you choose to transliterate them. Hyphen/no hyphen, Shi Mok/Si Mok, etc. Just do what you are comfortable with and I’ll adjust no problem. No need to add the honourifics, though

My likes:

I love getting together fics most of all. I love almost every kind of trope (fake dating, slow burn, rivals-to-lovers, “unrequited” pining (that is really requited), found families, etc.) Also, casefic, epistolary fic, consent, forbidden pleasures, beta heroes, bed sharing, masquerades, military kink, physical imperfections, ladies being badass and female relationships (whether romantic or friendship), relationships that build tension before exploding, equal relationships, trapped together, competence, communication, U/RST, positive endings.

You may notice from the below that my ships mostly involve sweet and occasionally broken men being head over heels for awesome ladies, (and usually not feeling worthy). So that dynamic is strongly encouraged.

I also like smut, but it certainly isn’t a necessity. For smut, I’m (sadly) fairly vanilla. But I like light bondage, cunnilingus, shower sex, and accidental/consensual voyeurism, (Particularly guys taking matters into their own hands when they think they can’t be with their lady, and the woman stumbling across him mid-act. Possibly my favourite kink ever? Writer’s choice whether the woman joins in or gets embarrassed)

Happy endings (or at least hopeful endings) are preferred. Like, super, super preferred. I don’t mind angst at all, but it kinda has to be on the way out of the darkness by the end.

Dislikes/DNWs:

Miserable endings. Major character death. Baby/Pregnancy fic. Humiliation. Drug use/drug mentions/addiction. Self harm/abuse. Non-con/rape. Heavy kink. A/B/O. M-Preg. Incest. Bestiality, animal harm etc. Underage sexual content. 1st person POV (unless for epistolary). Not big on high school AUs or Rock band AUs. Unbalanced power dynamics in ships without acknowledging/exploring that. (This effects one particular ship below, which I’ll discuss in more detail in the fandom section).

I think that’s it?

And so, to the fandoms, in no particular order:

Peninsula: Train to Busan 2

Jung Seok, Min Jung, Joon Yi, Yoo Jin

While maybe objectively not as good a film as the first one, I still enjoyed the hell out of it. Given that it was essentially a cross between Escape From New York and Mad Max, what isn’t to love? I loved the expansion of the world and the clever uses of zombies in the chase scenes. And I loved that the message was that being logical and self-sacrificing isn’t always the right choice - sometimes you should be driven by heart and empathy. And I really liked the idea that anything can mean happiness when you love and are loved in return - particularly in regards to Joon Yi, but also Jung Seok (and his found family?).

What would interest me the most in this fandom is post-movie fics. But if you wanna do a canon divergent/au thing, I’d be cool with that, too. Some prompts:

Joon Yi struggles a lot more than her sister to readjust to a “normal” life

In order to stay together after being rescued, Jung Seok and Min Jung have to pretend to be married

After four long years of loneliness, Min Jung just wants to be touched

Jung Seok isn’t surprised to find himself in love with Min Jung - and wanting to be a father to her girls - but is he good enough for them? He’s left them behind once - can he forgive himself? Can Min Jung?

The zombie plague escapes from Korea - and Jung Seok, Min Jung, and her girls are the closest thing to experts on how to fight back and contain it that the authorities have. Will their nightmare never be over? Or is this a chance to end it once and for all?

With Min Jung in hospital while her leg heals, Jung Seok suddenly finds himself a surrogate father to two very unruly girls.

Stranger | 비밀의 숲

Han Yeo Jin, Hwang Si Mok

This show is just so good, and Si Mok and Yeo Jin - and their relationship - is a big part of that. He’s logical and doesn’t feel things the way most other people do, but that doesn’t mean he’s given a free pass to be an asshole. He’s a good man who always does what’s right. And Yeo Jin is just as smart as he is, and equally committed to doing what’s right, but in a different way. They make a perfect team.

I love how much they absolutely, completely, trust and respect each other. Si Mok cares about her as much as he is capable - probably more so than he cares about anyone else. There isn’t any drama or jealousy or anything like that in their relationship. They are both practical adults. But it doesn’t mean they don’t have a deep bond. I do ship these two - and would love getting together fic if you can!

Prompts:

Yeo Jin will probably have a tough time of it from now on. How will Si Mok support her through it?

How will Yeo Jin and Si Mok keep in touch now that he’s moved away again? Late night phone calls that slowly become more intimate? Texts or emails (epistolary style)?

In the last episode, there was a hint that Si Mok had a prophetic dream. What if he really did develop a power? And Yeo Jin was the only one he trusted with the truth?

What if Yeo Jin and Si Mok had to travel somewhere for an investigation - and there’s only one bed…

Si Mok isn’t incapable of noticing when a woman is attracted to him. But what if that woman is Yeo Jin? Do they try to make a friends-with-benefits arrangement work? Or do they like each other two much for that?

Everyone already knows Yeo Jin and Si Mok are close - but why do their friends suddenly think they are dating? What’s changed? And how do they stop the rumours - without disappointing all the friends who were hoping they’d finally become a couple?

Yeo Jin had drunk one too many shots of soju and thought she might never see Si Mok again - so she’d jumped his bones and snuck out before he woke, full of regrets. But what happens now they have to work a case together again?

Feel free to bring in the other characters, too, as long as Yeo Jin and Si Mok remain the focus! I love the various dynamics they have with the people around them.

Kingdom | 킹덤

Prince Lee Chang, Seo Bi

Like with Si Mok and Yeo Jin above, so much of what I like about these two is that they are great characters separately - but work so well together as a team. They trust each other. He has great faith in her abilities and respects her so much. And she is loyal to him and respects him in return because she knows he’s a good man and a good leader.

I also love how the show uses both politics and horror elements, both to best advantage. It’s so well-written and compelling.

Now, I can see how this ship skirts close to my “no unbalanced power differentials in relationships” DNW, since he’s a prince, and she’s very much not royalty, so I thought I would clarify my position on this. I would most like fic set after he gives up his place in the royal family, since I think that mitigates basically all the issues. Even though I don’t think he would have intentionally abused his power over her, and Seo Bi was never particularly deferential to him, it still would have effected the relationship. Now that they are on more equal footing, there may be some lingering, residual issues surrounding this, but I feel like it’s at the level of bringing some interesting angst into the equation without feeling icky, if that makes sense.

Prompts:

Lee Chang and Seo Bi are somehow transported into modern day Korea. How will they adapt?

Both Lee Chang and Seo Bi have seen horrifying things - and they have the nightmares to prove it. How do they help each other through?

I feel like there are a million stories you could tell within the time jump at the end of the second season. Seo Bi and Lee Chang are travelling together, but no doubt keeping their mission to find the resurrection plant a secret. Are they pretending to be married? Is there anything Lee Chang has to adjust to now that he’s no longer, technically, the crown prince? How are they making money? Is Seo Bi hiring out her medicinal knowledge, while Lee Chang sells his sword? How far will they go to find the answers they seek?

The properties of the resurrection plant are still largely unknown. What horrors will they have to face next, now that another outbreak is looming? 

Lee Chang decides that Seo Bi needs formal fight training - and takes it upon himself to teach her.

What moments of levity can they find together amongst the horrors?

Lee Chang knows he shouldn’t think of Seo Bi in that way - they are colleagues, and despite everything he is still from a royal family. He needs her too much to risk everything because of his desire. But oh, how he wants her…

Illang: The Wolf Brigade | 인랑 (2018)

Im Joong Kyung, Lee Yoon Hee | Kim Seo Hee

So much about this movie is absolutely my jam. The action scenes, the exploration of what desperation can drive people to, the unclear loyalties that are slowly revealed. That whole sequence when they first meet and spend time together is like a distillation of so many of my favourite things. He sees her and is just instantly gone on her. And she for him. And from then on it’s just a quiet, intense longing between them. They are so aware of each other, every sense drawn towards the other. But he’s so broken, and he sees himself as more animal than man. And it’s revealed that she has equally deep wounds, too.

An argument can be made that at least some of it was an act, of course. They were both trying to deceive each other after all. But I think it’s pretty obvious that there were real feelings there, particularly because she tries to warn him that he’s walking into a trap, and he comes back to save her. Maybe even they don’t know how deep their feelings go, or the other’s feelings, but the audience knows.

And yet...I’ve seen it twice now, and the ending is still no clearer to me. Like, is he dead? It doesn’t seem like it, since both she and her brother saw him at the train station. But maybe he’s like a guardian angel now? And if he’s not dead, where did the shot come from? A hidden gun? The sniper? And most importantly of all, if he’s not dead...why aren’t they together??? Like, aren’t all the potential impediments to their relationship gone by that point?

So, I guess most of all I would like fic that makes more sense than that ending - preferably by giving them the happy ending they deserve.

Prompts:

Joong Kyung watches over Yoon Hee from the shadows - but she always knows he’s there. How can she convince him to come into the light, and back into her life?

Yoon Hee’s brother gets himself into trouble, and the only person she can turn to for help is a man she hasn’t seen in too long - Joong Kyung.

Joong Kyung now walks the line between the living and the dead, but he can’t stay away from Yoon Hee. (Paranormal/magic AU?)

Has there been too many lies between them to make a relationship work? Neither think they are worthy of the other, but when they are pulled back together (to give evidence for an official inquiry?) they can’t quite keep their distance.

Joong Kyung is on the run, and he doesn’t know who to trust - except the one woman he’s never forgotten.

Misunderstandings and lies abound between them - but what happens when they are trapped together and must wait for rescue?

If you don’t want to do a post-canon fic, how about canon divergence? What would have happened if the phone hadn’t rung in that warehouse at that moment? Might Yoon Hee have told herself that she could use her body to prove her loyalty to him? And might Joong Kyung have told himself that it couldn’t hurt to succumb - that it didn’t mean anything?

I think that’s everything. Thank you so much!

[soraegeeks]

Review: Fire in the Blood

Fire in the Blood by EllaBesmirched (El_Bell)  AU: Fantasy Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia/My Hero Academia Main relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto; Katsuki and his harem of  spouses Status: Ongoing Rating: Explicit

Official summary:

For the first time in his life, Shouto Todoroki thinks he might be happy. Freed from his father's rule by the hand of his husband and now king, Shouto finds himself swept up in his lovers' embrace, the impending threat of a powerful necromancer and his undead pet with a grudge little more than a distant anxiety easily ignored for the miracle that is being loved by Katsuki and Izuku, and watching them love each other. But, as he feared, such happiness can't last. 

The Todoroki kingdom has fallen, sending its monarchs retreating to the mountains for shelter and aid. With the Todorokis unseated, Katsuki finds the threat of war on his eastern border more dangerous than ever before. A mad man has taken the Todoroki kingdom and he won't rest until the whole world lies broken at his feet. Tomura Shigaraki must be stopped, but the new alliance forged between the barbarian conqueror and the disgraced flatland king is tenuous at best. As tensions mount, Shouto finds himself trapped between two levees-- on one side, his kingdom, his blood, and his legacy, on the other, his lovers, his home, and the family that made him theirs. And he has no idea where he will be standing when the floodwaters break.

Hello kids, today's review is another fanfic by EllaBesmirched. (I need to figure out another name for my readers but that’s a problem for another day LOL) Fire In The Blood, also known as ‘Todoroki Shouto Can't Catch a Damn Break’ or ‘Welcome to the Fucked-up Todoroki Show’, is the sequel to Elle’s other work Fire in the Mountains. Check out my review of that fic if you haven't read it before or need a refresher. 

Let me start by saying that I have no idea what it is about Ella’s writing but EVERY TIME I sit down to review her stuff I end up with pages and pages of notes. I have 8 damn pages of notes in my notebook for this review alone. Insanity. LOL

The story opens on a beautiful Spring day where Katsuki and his extended family are enjoying a picnic. It’s peaceful, it’s fun, and then Shouto gets the surprise of his life when his birth family appears. The Todoroki Kingdom has fallen and the Todoroki family, along with Hawks and the Iida siblings, have fled for their lives. When your birth family unexpectedly shows up on your doorstep you know there’s a shitstorm brewing.

I drew this polycule diagram so I could explain this story to my husband. The look of confusion on his face tickled me so much and I knew I had to keep it and add it to my review.

Intimacy growth

As the story starts it’s been about a month since Katsuki and Shouto’s joining ceremony. About a month since Shouto started being intimate with Katsuki and Izuku. Touching is still a big thing for Shouto and he probably would have burned Hawks when he touched his shoulder in chapter 1 had others not been around. He almost freaked out when Mina, Kiri, and Denki wanted to more intimately touch him in chapter 2 but he seemed to be more open to platonic touching.

Like I mentioned in my review of FitM, between Shouto’s upbringing and his demisexuality, he's still working on wanting to be intimate and accepting that it's okay. And that there are different levels of intimacy that he's learning with Mina in chapter 1, Denki in chapter 9, Kiri in chapter 5. 

Chapter 5 was all-encompassing in my brain. I'm overwhelmed (in a good way) about Todoroki and Kiri connecting. Kiri helped Shouto open himself to other types of love. Like Katsuki said in a previous chapter, Shouto was caged in his upbringing. He wasn't given the room to learn human interaction. So when Shouto finds Kiri in their room, they have a mutual understanding. They both have broken familial relationships and a mutual connection with family members hating Katsuki. Shouto let Kiri in and learned more about himself and Kiri helped him see that it's okay to want sexual pleasure and not just “need” it. And Kiri was able to receive pleasure and not be treated like a sex toy in the way that others have treated him. It was beautiful how they connected and I loved that Kiri called Shouto his "soulmate’s soulmate.” They strengthened and developed another bond and that’s especially needed in a poly family.

Shouto had so much growth in chapter 9. The fact that he finally feels like he belongs and he was able to act on more of his desires. Being able to indulge in a dominant role with Katsuki, sexual activity with Denki, and acknowledge that he sees something in Mina and Ochako. His younger self would never have seen 21-year-old Shouto this way LOL. I read Shouto as having a “power” kink. He was always under Enji’s thumb but taking everything he learned from his experiences with Denki, Kiri, Katsuki, and Izuku, and even listening to Ochako were power-ups for him. Baby Dom in the making! Speaking of experiences, shoutout to Izuku for topping from the bottom. Whoo.

I feel bad for our poor baby Shouto. He’s still burdened with feeling ashamed about his scars. And he realized that he never asked Izuku about his scars because he assumed that Izuku had the same shame. Forgetting that scars are celebrated in the Outlands. Someone help the baby’s self-esteem!

I related to how Shouto reacted the first time he spoke with Hitoshi. After growing up in a cage and never having anything that was just HIS (not his feelings, not his thoughts) I’d feel violated and freak out, too. I don’t like people in my head and I’d never want someone in my head uninvited. Thankfully, Hitoshi's interaction with Denki put Shouto a little more at ease. I like Elle’s interpretation of Hitoshi as a mystic and his quirk as the magical ability to read thoughts/see emotions. 

I found the references to Katsuki periodically taking a submissive role very interesting. While he’s comfortable during the act, Katsuki wasn’t so comfortable letting other people know. In chapter 1 he was uneasy when he, Shouto, and Izuku were talking about it out at the picnic and again in chapter 9 when Denki barged in on him and Shouto. Ochako's "domineering" qualities were referenced a few times and I love it. It's a recurring theme we also see in FitM and in the side story where Katsuki seems afraid of her and yet intrigued and turned on.

Family

Shouto is learning, growing, and trying to balance his newfound family with what he feels he ‘owes’ to his birth family. At first, he didn’t want to ‘traumatize’, his sister and brother about his family situation, but then he said, ‘fuck it’ LOL. He “realized politics and formality could take a flying leap for all he cared.” These are his loves and everyone will have to accept it. (Note that I DO include Izuku as one of Katsuki’s spouses. I know that he technically isn’t but he’s Katsuki’s first love so that counts for me. LOL)  Shouto’s wedded family were very welcoming and looked to include Shouto’s birth family. Katsuki, in a totally Katsuki way, set the tone by telling Shouto’s siblings they shouldn't refer to him by title. “Nah, fuck that shit. Don’t highness me, I don’t play that bullshit with family.” And of course, Denki runs with it to flirt with Natsuo. I cackled when Shouto threatened him to behave, “I will freeze you to your seat, Denki, I swear it.” Katsuki, again, showed how much of a sweetheart he is when he made sure that Rei had her favorite foods during the Equinox celebration.

The burial ritual was beautifully described and I was so tickled by the narrator’s voice, “it was not, in fact, mostly the same” Shouto was exposed once again to a different tradition that he ended up liking better than the one he was raised on. There was such a sense of warmth with the spouses and extended family. And we got some introspection with Katsuki thinking on how he’d like to die.

I love Shouto’s little trio with Izuku and Katsuki. Their interactions tend to be a combo of chaos and insanity LOL. When Katsuki wants Shouto’s attention he has no problem bumping Izuku out of his way.  “Katsuki reached back and shoved Izuku with his palm across Izuku’s face without moving away from Shouto at all” Like, sir, what?! LOL In pairs they like to tease the other and Izuku is a little shit cause he repeatedly teased Katsuki for liking to be dominated. And bless their hearts when they get into an argument. "We shouldn't yell at each other." Katsuki and Izuku’s baggage makes Izuku nervous but they’re going to have arguments. Katsuki has admitted to trying to be a better man so they’ll get through it. They can be serious and protective like when Katsuki and Isuku stood up to Natsuo because he was being very ‘Enji-like” in criticizing Shouto. And when it comes to Enji’s ass Katsuki comes at him with bite and Izuku meets him with his head raised like an equal.

Shouto’s relationship with his birth family is complicated as hell. Shouto swings from confusion about being relieved that his father was alive and Enji apologizing for not believing their warning about Touya to being pissed at his father for being an ass and asking why Shoto didn't fulfill his spy mission.

Shouto’s birth family members’ responses to his family situation were interesting. Fuyumi being “scandalized” but wanting more details, Natsuo being completely shocked and wary, his mother giggling, and even Enji’s utter disgust. Not like Enji has any room for judgment since he’s having an affair with Hawks. Hypocrite.

Shoto is in such a hard place of wanting to save and return the Flatlands to his family but being loyal to and choosing to follow Katsuki’s decisions.

I can’t speak about family relations without touching on the sadness of chapter 5. In which both Kiri and Shouto felt like they were on the outside. Upon the arrival of the other tribes, Kiri’s facing heartbreak that he’s shunned by his birth family, and Shouto is feeling distant from his. And can we take a moment to address the fact that after all of the spouses grow old and die, Kiri will have to return home? 😞

On a lighter note, is Ochako pregnant with the first baby of the extended family?! 🤔

Shouto’s Childhood

This is such an ouch section. From Shouto’s POV, he's always felt that Touya was unfairly treated. From the moment he learned that Dabi was really Touya he just knew that Dabi was a twisted version of his brother.  But maybe as the youngest, his brotherly image was skewed and he didn't see the real things that happened. 

“And he died before you were. Old enough to figure out if he was worth it.”

Shouto learns from multiple people that Touya was cruel and cared little for other people. Natuso told him that Touya had kidnapped him and took him to a dangerous place an hour away. Not the garden where his 5-year-old mind remembered playing and learning fun magic. 

“He took you to the labyrinth,” Natsuo said again. “He didn’t tell anyone. You were gone for almost a day.”

And his mother, OH MY! To learn that his mother’s mental state was so wrecked that she confused him for his dead older brother and burned him. Heartbreaking. Something that I've been wondering, I don't think that Shigaraki just randomly picked Touya. I'm starting to think that when Touya started dabbling in necromancy they knew each other before his execution

“They didn't believe me when I said he had evil in his heart. Not all the time, of course. Loved his mother, loved his brothers, loved his sister. But. Sometimes. Enough. Set a servant girl's skirts on fire once, when she moved... something of his. Poor girl had a burn on her leg the size of my hand and I. Well. A mother does what she must. I didn't want to, but he needed to know. Know it's not nice to burn someone. Know what it felt like. Before he really hurt someone, you see. Your father was so angry he took my tea kettle away.”

Perceptions of Katsuki as King

There are conflicting views of Katsuki as king. Shouto, from an inside perspective, says that Katsuki is a good man and a great king. (I find it interesting that Hawks says that good men can't be kings.) 

Lady Ashido and the Kaminaris raised a fuss about their kids not being at the meetings assuming that Katsuki thinks they are too weak and he's been tricked by Shoto the  "doxy" (a new word for my commonplace book) and Izuku the usurper. In truth, Katsuki just worries about keeping his spouses safe and happy because he loves them. I cheered Shouto on when he snapped at Lady Ashido.

Izuku warns Shouto that the generals don't have undying loyalty to Katsuki because he conquered the other chiefs and collected the chiefdoms. And that there are snide remarks that he didn't take the chiefdom from Izuku. Tarloh acknowledges that he does have talent, “Man’s a tactical fucking genius. Brain of a king. Heart of a warrior.” They just think that he's young and idealistic. For Katsuki, though, he’d rather be that than anything else. 

“We’re all fucking naive idealist bastards and I’d rather be a fool on a throne with my family beside me than wise and alone and powerless.”

HAWKS

What can I say about Hawks really?! There were so many allusions Elle left throughout the whole story that there is more to Hawks than anyone knows. In Chapter 2, Shouto notices that it is very odd that somehow Hawks hid behind Enji’s bulk when there should not have been a way for that to happen.

What is it about Hawks that really sets Shouto off but no one else?? Shouto is so disturbed by him but no one else sees it and they think Shouto just finds him attractive which he does but there's just something about Hawks that unnerves him. Hawks does a lot of things that don’t seem to make sense. He’s more open with Shouto and seems to hide less of himself when they’re one-on-one but he speaks in riddles. Shouto is the only one who ever sees Hawks’ slight facial or body twitches. 

The quote “he’d seen exactly what Hawks had wanted him to see” says a lot about him. Hawks only does things that benefit Hawks and I sort of wonder if he was so purposely so loud while having sex with Enji.  Shouto remembers in the past that Hawks appeared out of nowhere or was more visible in places than you would think a spymaster wouldn’t.

At the same time, the one person who SHOULD get a read on him can’t. His mind is completely blank to Shinsou and he tries multiple times. All of the sneakiness comes to a head in chapter 11. I won't give that away because it deserves to be experienced in writing. 

I will end this by saying that chapter 11 left me screaming. I felt like this is why we can’t have nice things! LOL (If you’ve already read the chapter and want to talk about it PLEASE hit me up. I need to scream with others! LOL) Shouto’s gonna be a badass ruler when this is all over. If they all make it through the coming storm.

[theconceptoffate]

A Clandestine Meeting

The Summer Palace lay silent as most the inhabitants slept. The few whom moved about did so as quietly as possible. The servants did so as not to wake the royals and noble courtiers whom lay sleeping. Some of them were extremely unpleasant when awoken early. Those of noble or higher status moved about silently because they gained some pleasure by sneaking about in the shadows. The servants pretend not to notice them—even is their attempts to sneak past them is quite obvious. Through, it could be argued that the servants only pretended while the noble was in the act, because rumors of their  escapade while everyone slept spread around like wildfire. Whom else could tell besides the servants? And this was how the nobles whom did not take more care to hide their actions within the palace wished it. This was certainly what the Duchess of Lyykela hoped when she left the king’s chambers for her own with her white-blonde disheveled.

There were those whom might think they were lovers, and the Duchess certainly hoped for such a thing. She had always cultivated high ranking men. It was this desire that allowed her to raise from the ranks of a minor noble to the wife of one of the council men, but her sights did not stop there.She desired to become Queen of Alyla Dorei, but such dream was impossible until recently. Queen Kiziah’s death had left a vacancy that the Duchess hoped to fill. Through, she would not outright say she slept with the king if such a thing was inquired. There are those whom would call her a liar if such a declaration were made. It is said king Avior has not been the same since his wife’s death, and there is talk of his son Jozhe ascending the throne before his own passing. A man in such a state would not be engaging in sexual relations with anyone.

In the end, there was no need for the Duchess and king to have sex. Her own state spoke volumes of their relationship. Her hair being disheveled in the manner it was told just how intimate their relationship were. She felt close enough with the king that she could present herself as little less than ideal. Through, the Duchess would be hard press to make herself even remotely ugly. She was the very image of what one born during a full moon of Prosdreus appeared--beautiful in the traditional Lithesi fashion. Such details, however, did not matter. What mattered was the very idea that she felt close enough to the king to allow him to see her in such imperfect light. This only meant that when the king was ready to take a second wife that it was likely to be her.

She entered her chamber with a happy sigh, turning on the lights and letting out a gasp when she noticed someone sitting within. At first, she thought it was her husband---the Duke of Lyykela. It was one thing for rumors of her infidelity to spread, but it was an entirely different thing for him to catch her in the act---even if they haven't slept together her intentions with the king were clear. However, before the excuse became ready upon her lips she realized whom was sitting there. "Oh Nyyrikki. It's only you." relief flooded over her.

"Hello, mother" Nyyrikki told her, hands folded in his lap. He, of all people, knew just how ambitious she was. He had been born on Vaikuuden Paevai---a day when there was no moon within the sky. Those born during these time---whether it is on an actual day when there are no moons or the moons are blocked behind clouds--don't have the typical powers of the moons. Parents of these children decided what to do with them. Some choose to raise them as normal as possible, allowing their child to decide what he might do when he become older. Others give them to the royal guard---an elite group whose sole purpose and duty is to serve the royal family in any means possible. A few will toss their children away, leaving them to the mercy of the wilds and gods. Than there are those like his mother whom decided that none of those options would best serve her ambitions.

Oh, she could raise him herself, but his prospects were limited. There were a stigma attached to children born upon moonless nights, and she might find it impossible to marry him into a family that might help raise her status. She couldn't just toss him to the wolves, as the saying went. She certainly couldn't make use of him if he was dead. As for giving him to the royal guards that would make him more loyal to the royal family than her, and that was simply not something she could have. Instead, she gave him to the Cult of Syovatt. A humorous decision if there was ever one, because being a member of the cult made him no more loyal to her as being a member of the royal guard did---some might argue less so. But, she like so many didn't really grasp the cult. They, however, made no attempts to remedy these misunderstandings. If someone wished to believe that their loyalty can be acquired than so be it. In time, they will learn the truth.

Nyyrikki received the best training the cult could provided, and when he came of age his mother begun to request him to complete jobs for her. Of course, the cult saw no reason to deny her requests. The very moment the Duchess of Lyykela handed her son over to them he stopped being her child. A fact they made crystal clear to him, but a memo the Duchess appeared not to receive.  "Have you completed my latest request or are you here for more details on the job?" She smiled at him, speaking with the candor of a mother to her child.

It amused him that she regarded him that way. More so when he thought about how she probably believed he felt affection for her. He felt nothing for her. She was nothing more than a client whom happened to give birth to him. "Neither." He told her.

She looked at him perplexed. "Were there a change of plan? Did the target pay you a large sum not to kill her?" Such things did happen. It wouldn't be the first time that one of Duchess targets paid Nyyrikki not to kill them.

It was never about the money. He didn't kill for the money nor did he spare someone's life for the money. He enjoyed killing. There was something about holding someone's life within his hand and knowing he would be the one to end it that brought him a high, but every once in awhile he could be convinced to spare someone's life if he found their pleas for mercy entertaining enough."You could say that. Come, mother, have a drink with me." He pushed himself from the chair he had been sitting in and walked to the table where she had a bottle of the finest moon bourbon. He poured two glasses, and handed her one.

She swished the bourbon about for a few moments, thoughts clearly elsewhere before she took a drink. Standing in silence for a few moments before finally asking "Is there any way I can convince you to complete the job?" She coughed, thinking that her throat was dry or something she took another drink.

It always amused him how quickly his poisons worked. Some might considered killing a person in such a manner was cowardly, but he was an assassin not some brave knight. He would use whatever method that would get the job done, and if someone requests the death looks as natural as possible he saw no reason not to grant that request. Besides a stab wound was hard to pass off as natural. It was possible. One just had to make it look like the target tripped and fell onto their blade, but poison had a far greater range of making the death appear natural. There were poisons that made the victim have symptom of various diseases. Some of these didn't kill very quickly, but their death was truly as agonizing as the illnesses they mimic. Others worked faster, and mimic the idea of choking or having your throat seal shut do to an allergic reaction. Then there those poisons whom could never be mistaken as something else. "All things must end." He told her.

The Duchess paused with her drink to her mouth. Her coughing had grown worse. "What have you done?" She inquired, frantic as suspension washed over her.

"I dropped a couple of almond into the bottom of your bourbon." He rolled shoulder as if to say oops, but there was no look of guilt or remorse written upon his face. Sometimes the best poison was the ones that only effective certain people.

It was clear that the Duchess wished to ask why, but well her nut allergy was making such a thing impossible. He wondered if other species reacted to their food allergies in the same manner? First coughing than their throat sealed shut. Perhaps, the coughing was a response to the throat being sealed shut. It might be that the body thought something have gotten wedge there and was trying to get it out. He took a drink from his own glass. "The Cult of Syovatt appreciate your patronage, but we believe it is time for our partnership to come to an end."

The Duchess fell forward, hands clutching at her throats as if she could claw a hole into it that would allow her to breath. He could just imagine what she was thinking. I am your mother. You can't betray me like this and other pointless spew of their family bond. Ridiculous notions spilled from someone whom believed that the members of the Cult of Syovatt could be controlled by any one political agenda. It was their services that one bought not their honor or loyalty. Through, the Duchess was not the first whom made such a mistake nor would she be the last, but eventually the cult decided it was time to make it clear that these people learn they didn't own them. Sometimes they kill someone close to the deluded, but most of the time they merely killed the foolish themselves. Such was the case with the Duchess of Lyykela. When he heard of the cult's plan to kill her he had to be the one to complete the job. Some might claim it was because no matter how much he claimed he felt nothing for her that he still held affection towards her, but such a notion were silly. He held no love for her. He held nothing for her not even contempt. It wasn't even the idea that he had to do it because he was the one whom had taken all her contracts since he became old enough to work the field.

He finished his drink and set it upon the table and moved towards where the duchess lay upon the ground, barely clinging to life and knelt down beside her. "And even if they had given no such order I would have killed you for the audacity of asking me to kill Princess Sahar." With those words uttered, he pushed himself from where the duchess lay and left the room, leaving the body to be discovered by the servants whom will come to clean her room in a couple hours.

[royalisticdreams]

A Summary of ‘Styles’, the book given to Harry during Le Quotidien’s interview

As promised, this post is my summary/partial translation of ‘Styles’, the book Harry was given during the French interview he did with Le Quotidien back in early May 2017.

DISCLAIMER: this book is a work of fiction ; Côme, the author, is not the main character. The meeting with Harry is fictional and made-up. This book was written by Côme Martin-Karl, a French - Parisian- sociology student (which if I may remind you, sociology is a discipline Harry wanted to study back in his X Factor audition).

So, I will proceed with the summary and will tell you about the things that truly concern the memoir, Harry and the meeting. The book itself is about the life of the narrator around the time he was writing his memoir. It’s very interesting but not what I will focus on here. On this post, I will go through a few passages chronologically.

Definition: A memoir is like a long dissertation about a chosen subject related to the class/degree you are taking. It is supposed to offer your own analysis of something never analysed before or in a way never done before. It’s about offering a proper new perspective on a subject through the discipline (Harry through sociology here). It’s something French students usually have to do at the end of their Master’s degree (5+ year). They get graded for it and their diploma depends on it.

Reminder: I will not be giving an opinion on this. This is merely a rough translation and summary of the things I think Harries could find interesting. This is based on the work of Côme Martin-Karl, sometimes a translation of his words. Please remember English is not my mother tongue. I am trying my best here. Sociology is also not my discipline of heart, so the concepts are sometimes foreign to me. I hope this helps and is understandable.

Here we go.

Côme reminds us that “sociology is exciting in the sense that all objects on Earth are likely to be analyzed. It pretends to a certain universality, which makes it a vague discipline diluting itself in the world it is supposed to explain. Initially, his memoir was called “Image of self, images for the self: the iconographic circulation in teen culture: the case of Harry Styles”. Côme says he has fallen in love with Harry: “an immature love based on beliefs, images and press-filtered information”. He explains that loving a celebrity is a securing feeling. An “impossible eroticism”. It’s basically allowing you to feel emotions in a raw way without actually facing the reality. He also compares it to religion, the combination of being inaccessible but being always there at the same time. Like God, Harry is not someone you can approach every day but yet, on a daily basis (practically) there are pictures of him and information about his being exchanged constantly.

Côme has done 2 interviews with 2 different fans. He initially wanted to use pictures, drawings (fanart) etc. He wanted to use them and ask himself “Is Harry a solitary icon or is he in another marginal place of social space, can he be replaced, will his status change?”. The 1st interview was with a 10-yo girl. Only note he took from this was “I prefer Harry because he is super sexy.” The 2nd interview was a 29-yo woman who went to 18 concerts and whose two thirds of the 5k pictures she took were of Harry. She claims he was probably posing for her after seeing her there so many times. Paranoid woman who wasn’t any help in his research. Côme then stopped with the interviews. While collecting pictures, he however noticed that the longer the online pseudonym of a fan, the more likely the fan may focus on something like Harry’s eyes. Whereas a shorter pseudonym would lead him to a fan that was more “brutal in her desire” and that would be collecting pictures of his crotch rather than a more innocent feature. He mentions fanfictions whose “novelistic trail often paints a lot of unrealistic situations but in which the sex scenes can be gripping”. He even tried to write one himself one night and posted it. Got called a “crazy bitch”; he took it off. He chats online with a fan “leader of concert projects”. She mentions how nice Harry is and how no one hates him. That he will still have fans in 10 years.

Côme meets a guy called Julien, with whom he will have a short relationship during the course of the book, but eventually will get him to meet Harry, thanks to his dad who is a lawyer and somehow got in contact with some of Harry’s people. Julien also wanted to do his thesis on Harry. He has a signed poster in his living room. Côme is surprised with Harry’s mature signature for someone who left school as early as Harry did. Julian’s thesis (which is did NOT pursue by the end of the book) was about: “a biological construction, a marketing construction, judicial construction and a libidinal construction”. I personally didn’t get everything he meant but he was apparently focusing on the judicial-libidinal link. He was interested in terms of copyright, private life issues etc.

Côme then gets a new director for his memoir, Mr Costat. This man puts his initial draft work to shame and asks him to think differently about Harry. Mr Costat reminds him that sociology is the language of the social, and not the science of the social like a lot of people think. He wants him to focus on Harry as a subject not as an object (a few fans could do the same ;)). He wants Côme to use Harry as a language: “what does his figure tell? To whom? Can we hear it? If yes, who does? What are the conditions of his emergence as a language? Who appropriates it to themselves and why? What are the possible turning points to this?” I will be honest here, I have no idea what this man is talking about. So, if someone understands it, you’re welcome to enlighten the world! Côme rethinks his introduction. The first sentence is the following “While interrogating the relations between the Beautiful and the Crowd, Harry Styles urges us to make a sociology of art as well as to practice the art of sociology.” At night, he thinks that “Harry’s beauty resides in the fact that he was “born” in front of millions. He is in full ascension. We’re excited by beginnings, but we only fall in love with a transformation, with the idea of what the person is going to become and everything that is going to happen next.”

Julien and Côme have gone to Holmes Chapel for a few days. It didn’t help Côme in any way. However, he manages to rewrite his introduction fully a while after. He refers to Schelling. He says “my guess is that as an image, Harry is a being of bones and flesh submitted to the laws of nature, gravitation and the process of aging but he is also fixed in a transcendent way. Only through the circulation of his images there is the opposition of being and non-being through Hegel. This circulation is a social fact. In other terms, the appropriation of Harry’s pictures by the [fans] inject in them a true veracity of which only Schelling’s sociology can explain.”

Côme adjusts his work again. He finally calls it “The stylistic of Styles”; mentions Harry through different point of views: philosophy of nature, transcendent philosophy and dialectic point of view. - Here again, I do not have the knowledge to explain any of that to you…-. Côme uses fanfictions and shows the naturalist motivation (?) behind some of them, in which we can sometimes detect a punctilious attention to the details of Harry’s actual life, from alleged conquests to new clothes or recent real estate acquisitions.

The meeting: Côme and Julien meet Harry in a hotel in Paris a few months ago from today (End of May 2017!). They have 30 minutes to ask him questions. Côme tells how Harry enters the bar of the hotel in the middle of a group of people. Everyone around him is blur, he says, one can only see him. He is tall and wears a big smile on his face. He is “magnificent. As if he was the only one on which light fell upon.” Côme mentions how this moment is the one where he understands “the whole point of tales of marital apparitions that makes the entirety of the second half of the nineteenth century swarm.”  He is hardly said hello to by members of press and management but only a woman that disinterests herself from the conversation quickly stays with Harry and them. Harry looks at him in the eye while their introduction. He “smiles at me so much I could almost believe he is actually happy to see me”. He asks how Côme is doing and mentions how it’s the first time he will be answering to researchers. Makes a joke Côme doesn’t understand quite well but to which Côme laughs anyway. With joint hands, sitting a little towards them with his shirt open until they can see the infamous butterfly tattoo, he listens. Julien explains briefly the two theses. Harry laughs at the joke concerning him not having to lie down on the sofa to answer. “Fantastic” is the reply he gives after the presentation.

Julien asks Harry about “his intimate relationship with contracts, from his way to sign them to the color of the pen he uses to do so; at what age he chose his signature, if it resembles more his mother’s or his father’s. Julien pursues with Harry’s relationship with his parents and stepfather, and the discussions he had with them about contracts while he was a minor”. Very unfortunately (in my opinion), the answers of Harry to those questions are not transcribed in the book but according to Côme, Harry gives “polite yet well thought out answers”. He seems to have his heart set on being precise and useful to the discipline. Julien writes “oedipian narration” down. The only question at which Harry doesn’t answer (when the woman next to him intervenes) is when Julien asks (weirdly, I think) whether Harry remembers any difference in his masturbatory practices before and after signing the contracts that made him who he is today.

It’s Côme turn to ask questions. He barely has a few minutes. He asks one question: what would be Harry’s ideal fanfiction according to him. He “smiles while rolling his eyes a bit, then thinks.” “Harry used to read a few fanfictions at the very beginning of One Direction, when his famousness didn’t go further than the United Kingdom. As his perusals went, he recognized himself less and less until he didn’t recognize himself at all in them anymore, until his name totally escaped from his hands to lose itself in a hurricane of feverish imaginaries and became a completely foreign homonym present in hundreds and hundreds of pages written in any language. He cites a couple of fictional plans that stuck with him but underlines how the constructions of those seem stereotyped to him. He has {mark the words here} “in vain looked for a story that would have veritably interested him. He notes how everything very quickly becomes pornographic, and that pornography usually calls for the dissolution of script writing exigence. While he has skimmed through a lot of erotic novel-like writing pieces, he also fell upon galactic tales or texts in universes that would make him the main character of well-known Disney films. Harry thinks that if he had the power to command/order (?) an oeuvre of which he would be the main character, he would like this oeuvre to be an offbeat adventure novel, a story swarming with an overflow of sudden and unforeseen developments. He would have liked to be the hero of a picaresque novel.” Côme notes that Harry has used a word with the same suffix -esque before, “picturesque”, in his little interview while waiting in line for his X Factor audition in 2010, when describing his village.

The interview is finished. Harry hugs them and tells Côme he found his question interesting. He “smells good”, Côme adds in his book, but doesn’t say what exactly it is that Harry smells like.

Côme finally gets to present his work in front of a jury including Mr Costat who blames him for not having made a universal reasoning. Otherwise, Côme’s work is appreciated. He gets the “Mention Très Bien” which is the highest distinction a French student can get. It usually means the student got a grade above 16 out of 20.

There you go for this resume of ‘Styles’! It’s still 4 pages long in Word for me right now, but that’s the best I could do to sum it up and share with you the most interesting points for fans of Harry. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did, hopefully some of you can enlighten us on the sociology concepts because I personally did not understand them, lol. I will try to get my hands on Côme’s memoir to try and understand it better. Last thing I want to say: I knew Harry was smart, but if he really did answer the way Côme says he did during the little interview… Man, that man is even brighter than I thought he was. {Me: falls even more in love}. Fanfiction writers… you know what to do!!!

PS: Please don’t copy this or share it without mentioning the source. I repeat that this is from the work of Côme. I have tried to translate some parts, and have purposefully used quotation marks.

[sexysemefish]

First sexual exploration(percico)? please?

I don’t write smut, usually I skip around the gritty details but I love showing off patience in sexual relationships and such, so here it is! Hope it meets your expectations! I’m adding a read more, so it’s not too long ahhh

See, Nico wasn't fond of touch.

He might have been, once upon a time. But now, aftertraveling through Tartarus and awakening as a son of Hades? He avoided it if hecould.

He was uncomfortable with it and set boundaries with people.They usually listened. He always felt a pang, seeing Piper or Annabeth stopbefore reaching out to hug him or gently smack him for a dry joke he had made.But he was glad they remembered enough to give him space for it (Jason was theonly one he had to threaten, actually).

He could touch Hazel. Her hugs were nice and kissing her onthe forehead made him feel like they were close as siblings could get. Sincehis whole fall into the pit, affection with Hazel was everything. He adored hislittle sister and her hugs always made him feel better.

Reyna was another one who breached his no touch barrierpretty quickly. Maybe, in the fight against Gaea, he had gained another oldersister.

That's why he has kind of scared about dating Percy.

He had no reason to be. Percy knew his boundaries andrespected them. He waited for Nico to make contact. Percy was sweet, constantlyreaffirming his consent with simple hand holding or hugs around the shoulders.Cuddling came slowly to him but Percy was fine with it.

'I like this thing.'He said casually, gesturing between them. 'Thelast thing I would ever want is to do something you're uncomfortable with. Do Ilook like the guy who would do that to you?'

But Nico was insecure. Drew constantly grilled him whenPiper wasn't around, claiming how could he not have sex with him already?!Percy was attractive! Nico knew Percy was attractive, he just didn't feel readyfor it.

Nico felt upset at himself for not being able to be a goodboyfriend for Percy. They fought about it and Percy snapped first.

'Nico, I love you!'They were on opposite sides of the bed, Nico on the defense who grew stunned atthe statement. 'Yeah, I'm sexuallyfrustrated but I'd rather be that than make you do something you're not readyfor. Having sex doesn't mean love. It's not something that's required in arelationship to make it healthy! It's just something couples do if they wantto. Drew can stick her own snobby nose in whoever’s legs she wants to!'

'Percy!' He wasscandalized.

'Whatever! It's okayNico. I love you for you, not if we have sex or not, okay?'

Nico understood that, and was reassured.

The first time Nico crawled on top of Percy was after abattle, both of them high on adrenaline and victory. Percy had grabbed him byhis belt loops and dragged him in, hesitant before Nico brought him in for akiss.

They were laughing, Nico snorting into his hand when Percysmacked his head into the headboard while taking his shirt off.

Percy grabbed his hand and brought him in for another kiss.Nico was warm, hot and breath coming out unevenly. Percy dragged a hand up hisback one curled in his hair and Nico gasped.

This is what being aroused had to feel like. He could feelit, gazing down at Percy who's eyes were bright in the darkness of the cabinbed.

He was nineteen and trembling when Percy's hands slippeddown his pants.

He loved Percy, more than he had ever loved anyone. Touchwasn't uncomfortable with him in a way different from Hazel, Reyna and Jason.When he had dated Will, they had never gotten this intimate.

Percy was a sweet lover, turning them and resting Nico underhim. He kissed and nipped, hands sliding under his shirt. Nico withered,feeling hot.

'Is this okay?'

Nico said yes.

He took off Nico's shirt, kissing and licking.

He stopped at the edge of his jeans, mouth leaving smallbutterfly kisses.

'Can I?'

Nico said no.

Nico did cry that night even when Percy had huffed, laughingand collapsing on top of him.

He had apologized and said he wanted to but Percy cut himoff.

'It's okay.' Percysmiled, knocking their foreheads together. 'Youwere comfortable enough to tell me no. So I count that as a win. Love you,okay?'

Gods, Nico couldn't have found a better man to live the restof his life with.

[sixmorningsafter]

A Thesis on Chapter 13

Despite all the almost sexy times last chapter, I think this is my favorite so far. There are less “I don’t know you”, “who do you think you are”, “can you just leave me alone” vibes but that doesn’t mean everything (or everyone) is comfortable.

A/N: LMAO this thesis is the greatest thing that’s ever happened, I’m dying. Is there a more appropriate way to review the rambliest fic in the known universe? Always adore your feedback and this is no exception, and I can’t stress enough how happy/giddy I was reading over this and seeing how much thought you put into it, man. Ugh. Cassie’s such a doll, y’all.

Anyway, onto the chapter: lmaoooo not even remotely comfortable, but yessss, the tone is definitely less belligerent and more so just unsettled (at least for Bamon) in 13. Stefan and Caroline were probably more intimate in 12 but hey, every action has an equal an opposite reaction, ja feel? Reality checks await. 

Putting the rest under a cut because your glorious long-windedness combined with mine is a chapter in and of itself. 

Bonnie: I like her introspection a lot, and I can relate to it (I too try to check myself before wrecking myself). I like that she’s hyper aware of the latent anger and her tendency to hide it away ‘cause then its hidden from her. 

I love how she thinks Damon might possibly feel violated by her advances the previous night. Girl, please. And lol “magical fucking reverse-dementor”? Gold.

Oblivious Bonnie. Oh, the hilarity.

A/N: She’s a mess, but she’s trying. I think much like Caroline, she’s convinced that if she drops her guard and removes the tight lid she keeps on parts of herself, disaster will strike, and I think much like Stefan, Damon’s going to play a part in proving that’s not what’s going to happen. Obviously a major difference is Bonnie keeps the lid on to protect others (friends, etc) from jagged parts of herself and Caroline’s is more self-preserving. And LMAO yeah needless to say, Damon’s not feeling particularly violated but bless Bonnie.

Baroline: Bless you. I like this scene a lot. Bonnie tackling a sleeping Caroline; Caroline being a “ferocious blanket monster”– love it. As a writer, it’s a gold mine ‘cause you can casually throw in some flashbacks, but as a reader, it’s a gold mine 'cause you get casually thrown into a fuller picture of who Caroline is– a force to be reckoned with, especially when it comes to the people she holds close. God, I live for Bonnie telling Caroline she came out of one of the worst situations as a “goddam warrior”–ugh, slay me.

Baroline + Tyler feels, love it.

Lol at the “messes” exchange. This is me and any of my best friends lol. Headcanon: Baroline gets messes forever as their matching bff tattoos. 

A/N: YAY, Baroline feels! I really wanted to balance out their relationship since so much of the last chapter was Caroline’s side of it, and given that Bonnie was in a ‘fuck everyone’ state it was lopsided, so writing out that scene and having Bonnie assume the role of Caroline’s no. 1 fan felt necessary. So glad the little moments and flashbacks painted a more detailed picture! I think we’ll see more of that ferocious friend side of Caroline in the upcoming chapters, when there are dinners to plan and she’s back in work mode and stuff. I have a fun scene planned where Stefan’s getting pushback on a work call and Caroline sort of snatches the phone and works her magic. And YES, #messesforever tattos! All the Tyler cameos. 

Stefan: The trademarked “Fix It” with the “associated apology tour”, that made me laugh.

I liked that Bonnie knows Stefan has callouses for her lashing out, 'cause he’s literally like, welp that wasn’t so bad.

Again, Stefan acknowledging Damon is more than meets the eye is good. I think it’s funny how he has these unrealistic views of people, but he also doesn’t, like when it comes to Damon. I suppose it’s just the women in his life. Unfortunately, his “Caroline is a partially ajar door” epiphany struck me as correct, but only as a reader, I would know that. I kind of like watching Stefan sort himself out. Idk if you made a Stefonnie parallel on purpose, but both are introspective in a very academic way. Unlike Daroline who are equally introspective but built a stone armour around themselves, Stefonnie built, like, a two-way glass armour, you know? God, Stefan would probably hate me for turning him into a metaphor ;p

“People weren’t tropes”, Stefan says as Gabi writes him as a trope. I literally said aloud, “ah the not-trope trope” lol. But I like that he’s self-aware. Unlike canon, where it seems like he embraces the Hero Hair wholeheartedly.

Ooo, such a great point - Stefan and Bonnie definitely take a much more logical approach to analyzing themselves than Caroline or Damon, who are like captains of the National Deflect Team. I think Stefonnie both have lowkey hero complexes and that might factor into it a bit: Bonnie fucks up and her first thought upon waking up is ‘fix it fix all of it’ - she’s more concerned about the people she might’ve affected last night than herself. So she rationally dissects everything she did and figures out the best strategy for making it better (though notice she doesn’t actually come up with a strategy for fixing her coping mechanisms). Stefan wakes up and rationalizes the fuck out of him and Caroline while downplaying the fact that hey, bud, regardless of all this rational mumbo jumbo, you felt something last night. You felt something tighten in you when she put the wall back up. You didn’t like it. So yeah, they’re both a little fake mature in that sense, like they think they’re taking the high road or being logical but they’re also kind of denying reality a bit in the process. And then there’s Daroline, lololol, who’re just like ‘sitting down to critically analyze our problems sounds like a GREAT conversation and all but here’s another suggestion: flinging ourselves off a bridge’. 

Stefonnie: Like that ask you answered, I didn’t know how much I needed Stefonnie until this scene. I really like how Bonnie’s approach to her Steroline apologies are to wrap them in light scenarios (like the stories about Caroline and Shark Week with Stefan).

And their hug, how fucking sweet. 

God, I love how awkward both of them are when it comes to discussing their currently lowkey romantic ships. Lol, like I tweeted in response to Bonnie’s “I just hope it wasn’t too tense”, it was too intense (har har, I’m funny). And Stefan’s “hope it wasn’t too carnal”, I loved this word choice–thank you. And their stumbling over their own words with one another, like in this “you’re my bestie I can’t lie to you” kind of way.

The parallel, seen in the end, with Stefonnie being clueless when it comes to the romantic ships has me screaming. Wake up people! 

A/N: Stefan and Bonnie are totally the clueless problematic cinnamon rolls of this fic, man. Like I know Bonnie has a dark side, but they’re both still such naive koalas, it’s so dumb. So glad you caught the ‘I can’t lie to you’ vibe between them because I was totally going for that - they never explicitly lied but they definitely skirted around the truth, and as you’ll see especially from Stefan in 14, he really doesn’t like it. It’s not their style. Especially given their loaded history with Bonnie cutting him off and trying to leave him out of a whole part of her life - they’re not fans of not telling each other stuff. So yeah, that tension’s definitely there, but sandwiched between some fluff that I’m so glad you liked!

Steroline: YES I KNEW IT WAS A SEX PRE-COITAL CONTRACT AGREEMENT. And I think you should take that as a compliment 'cause its so characteristic of Caroline.

Lol at “how would we go about tracking our decibel levels”? Like how did she even come up with the right decibel levels? Like, as writers, we look up some crazy shit, but as Caroline, I feel like her research history is… more than abundant. 

“Would we be doing zumba on the side”, fucking Stefan lmfao. Idk if you watched the canon Steroline proposal, but he has this roundabout way of proposing, saying something like, I was thinking you’d wear this ring or whatever, and I think its interesting how this SMA line kinda parallels to that canon one, in terms of Stefan’s silly side (which is a rarity in canon). Like I feel like Paul insisted doing the proposal his way.

Stefan is such a dope. Like when Caroline is “demonstrating”, and he’s like “probably should’ve seen that coming”. Ugh, this dummy.

A/N: Caroline’s so extra it’s unreal. Like sometimes when I write her and I want to incorporate her more anal-retentive side, I have to literally stop for five minutes and just think up ridiculous shit. I’m the least detail-oriented/list-making person on earth so I basically have an out-of-body experience whenever I write Caroline, lololol - it’s a ton of fun, though. I really wanted to make that moment a canon nod to Stefan finding her control-freak side amusing/endearing. In SMA, he didn’t really know that side of her before they were snowed-in (it was sort of buried under the general frostiness and party girl persona), so I think it makes her feel more human to him. He likes catching glimpses of the real her. And yessss, hahaha, SMA Stefan is definitely like taking all of canon Stefan’s silly/trolly moments and just condensing them into the whole character. I kind of feel like without all of the vampire and Damon/Katherine nonsense in his life, though, Stefan would’ve been a much lighter, sassier person, so who knows. Totally a dope, though.  

Bamon: Bonnie’s sex fantasies– FINALLY. As canon Damon would say, “Glad to see you’ve boarded this train to crazy town, Bonnie Bennett” (yes I looked this up, no I have no regrets).  

Damon’s reaction to Bonnie’s apology is good lol. I like this. With Stefonnie and Baroline, it was teary-eyes and heartfelt-ness, and then there’s Damon. She connected with a stranger (in more ways than one), and she's just trying her best. Lol.

I didn’t realize this until Bonnie points it out, but I like that she recognized how self-centered their personal conversation had been. How she twisted everything about like it was a competition.

Lol the “can we just forget this happened” conversation is hilarious. It reminds me of when Defan are talking about the space heater, and Damon keeps toying with Stefan LOL. Idk if you intended that parallel, but its golden.

Ugh and I love how she’s like, “last night she’d be tangled up with a street kid”. I like that realization, 'cause it was kind of one for me too. Like, Damon looks like a babe, but Bonnie’s got him pegged.

A/N: Love all of these insights so much! So on point. ‘And then there’s Damon’ should really just be his tagline, I feel like. He’s kind of a constant question mark/occasional pleasant surprise in general to everyone, but to Bonnie, he’s proving a total wildcard. Majorly throwing her off her typical routine, slipping right under that stubbornly even-kiln skin - she really is just trying her best to adjust to it, lololol. But once again, she’s using suppressing techniques to do it, and if 12 should’ve taught her anything, it’s that he’s not afraid to poke through that. You’ll see her hit a much more comedic breaking point in 14 and some long-time-coming stuff comes out of it. And re: the Defan parallel, I didn’t really think about that but it’s totally true - Damon’s just a giant troll. I think his conversations with Stefan and Bonnie will usually have similar tones in that he’s this boundary-less shit-starter dealing with people who are used to having civilized, tactful interactions with people, vs. with Caroline, she’s just as blunt as he is so it’s much more abrasive-with-an-undercurrent-of-affection. 

Damon: So his line “I heard you loud and clear about last night, kid” (and okay, his insisting on calling her kid, as like a way to, idk, distance himself from her, for her sake and probably his own, is so deflating for me, 'cause they’re getting somewhere and then they’re not) is so telling. Just so very telling. “But she’d literally looked like she was going to crawl out of her skin whenever he was near her… He didn’t love it.” Honey, your need for affection is showing. Annoying? Yeah, annoying how you won’t admit you have a crush on her.

The scene with his reflection, even if it was only a snapshot of the past, it was good. So, idk if you do this on purpose, but the way you reveal Damon’s story is wildly different from the other three, and it’s very consist with his character. And it’s well written. Very, very good job. Oh, and reverting back to that line “pointless”. Mmmmm my poor baby.

Awww, haven’t heart this interpretation of kid yet! Could totally see some merit to it - I think it’s definitely telling of an unusual endearment Damon’s starting to feel for her, one that (despite how sexual their relationship got last chapter and the undercurrent of it this chapter) has surprisingly little to do with sex and more to do with this spunky, weird, stubborn, complicated little thing who keeps surprising him. Even if there is any intent to create distance (and maybe subconsciously there is), I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t stop calling her that even if they were together. And lmao re: his ‘annoyance’ with her aversion to him - not obvious at all, right? Everyone in this story is so dumb idk why I write it. 

Re: different writing strategies, I actually got a really cool ask about this from someone about the couples, and I think it’s the same deal where it just naturally happens? Like Damon lives stubbornly in the present, he doesn’t care what happens tomorrow or what happened yesterday, so having him go down long mental meanders through memory lane just doesn’t come out of my fingers, you know? His reveals kind of come in quick flashes - bursts of dialogue or action that only last as long as it takes him to recognize what he’s doing and pivot away from it. I know this fic is technically third person, but I write it a lot like a first person PoV (not really italicizing thoughts, writing the descriptions with run-on sentences and fragments like dialogue), so I feel like because of that, I naturally shift my style a bit for every character’s head. You’ll definitely get more Damon reveals up ahead, though - a lot of the Bamon dynamic has been focused on Bonnie in the past few chapters, but as that gets more under control, Ms. Fix It hasn’t gone anywhere, and she’s going to start putting some of the spotlight back on him. Her finding his wallet in the sneak peek is kind of the start of that. 

Daroline: LMFAO. You already know about my Daroline brotp feelings, so I’ll keep this short. Besides the hilarity that is defensive Caroline and shitstarter Damon, I really like that, because of their history, Damon’s first real sincere moment is with Caroline. Like, he prods and jokes about stuff with Bonnie and Stefan, but he’s not being helpful. With Caroline, though, he’s doing the friend thing.

Again, you probably did this on purpose, but I can’t help to point it out: Daroline knowing there’s something going on within the romantic ships has me geeking out. 

Yay, Daroline! I get way too much satisfaction from writing two characters who started off as explicitly sexual having entirely non-romantic emotional beats and becoming ain’t shit friends. I feel like in a way, it’s almost a little necessary in a fic like this, because otherwise every sexual relationship I’m writing leads to love and I really don’t think that’s true. I think it’s super possible for casual sex to be exactly that, and I think Daroline kind of spits in the face of the idea that two people who have been or are physically attracted to each other can’t be friends. Of course they can be. Sex and love are different. Sex is instant, easy. Love is layered af. And on the converse of that, we have Stefonnie as the ‘guys and girls can absolutely be best friends’ PSA, so yeah, I think the m/f brotps help balance the fic a bit. 

Defan:

God, it’s a great time just watching these idiots. “Steffy bear and I are getting married.“ Defan = Major/Ravi feelings. There’s only this scene at the end, but it’s really fun and there’s no drama between them, so it’s wholeheartedly silly.

Total Major/Ravi vibes! So glad you’re digging them - I haven’t had a chance to do a ton with them so far (outside of little beats here and there and references to offscreen/page bonding) but I’m definitely going more into Defan soon - they open up chapter 14 and it’s super fun/introduces some dynamic shifts for them. I think I get way too much of a kick out of making the most problematic canon ships the least problematic in this AU, lmao.

Bonus Round– the "Kai” scene: It strikes me as seriously mental of Bonnie to think she could face Kai on her own. Like, okay, so he may not be a serial killer, but he’s still fucking creepy! (though I love it tbh). I love Steroline’s protectiveness over Bonnie (“Yeah, I don’t know what kind of hangover brain she’s on, but you’re absolutely going with her”). Damon’s hardcore acting as the disgustingly affection bf (“It’s so cute it makes even us cringe”). Bonnie’s deadfish acting.

LMAO Bonnie’s definitely got some priorities to sort out. And yay, so glad you liked protective Steroline - I think it’s fun to make them so at odds about so many things and then suddenly when Bonnie’s the subject boom, team up. Damon’s affectionate boyfriend act is only going to get worse after some things that go down in 14, and Bonnie’s deadfish isn’t going to fool anyone. More apeshit Kai ahead!

Okay, I copy and pasted this into a Word doc, and it’s a full 5 pages. Yikes. I’m done. You’re amazing, bless you, continue doing the good Lord’s work, amen. <3, Cassandra

LMAOOOOO five pages of GLORY. I seriously can’t tell you how much I appreciate your super detailed, thoughtful, hilarious reviews - in fact, it took me this long to answer because I was like ‘I need to find a time where I can sit down and write a thesis back’. You’re amazing, bless you, continue doing the good Lord’s work, amen. <3 Gabi

[theredtree4]

Thoughts

The past year and a half, two years in fact, have been a confusing time for me. A lot has changed about my circumstances and people have come and gone out of my life. Two and a half years ago I started to suffer depressive symptoms but didn’t really consider they would last and neither did I seek help regarding them. At the time I was in a relationship and a job I disliked and these feelings caused me to sabotage my relationship but I managed to drive myself towards something positive - a new career opportunity.

One and a half years ago, I ended my relationship with this lovely girl who never really did anything wrong but I couldn’t help shake the feeling it was wrong: I felt anxious around her, I was scared of intimacy, and even being close to her, and I needed to be by myself. I was empty. Almost instantly, I developed a relationship over distance. This person was already in my life and began to show a lot of care and understanding towards my position. Things escalated quickly - generally, I am a slow to progress person - and I was told how much I was wanted which put me in a position I’d never been in before. The girl in question, woman rather, had a range of mental health issues and the relationship was intense. I planned to meet her to see if all the things she said she wanted could happen. I wanted to care for her and she said she wanted to care for me, to stop me feeling empty. Before I met her, however, she went back to her ex and I took the opportunity to spend the time I had planned spending with her travelling and meeting friends who I knew from afar.

Before I made the trip, I was introduced to the girlfriend of one of my long distance friends. We hit it off immediately and we realised we a lot in common and also had similar mental health issues which we bonded over. I lamented my ability to keep lying to myself and others to maintain a happy charade that made me feel empty and taken advantage of and she told me I had to look after myself, that she understood the feeling of being empty and performing for others. At this time I was suicidal. I’m not saying this bond “saved” me but it definitely went away towards giving me some reason to believe there was somebody like this out there who could understand me. I wanted to run away and leave my life behind and ot come back. I shared this with the girl who suggested she had felt the same way before. This was the second time in my life that a relationship, a friendship, escalated at a ridiculous speed and within a week we were talking constantly and sharing some deeply guarded truths about ourselves. These are things that we both had never had before. Maybe the distance helped. She expressed doubt about her relationship and I began to piece together a lot of negative occurrences in her relationship which I had previously not seen and began to become an emotional support for her and her for me. I tried to communicate these issues to her boyfriend, my friend, without betraying the confidence she had placed in me but before I was able to meet them they broke up.

I still looked forward to meeting them both: one, I had known for a year or so and spoke to regularly, the other someone who had very quickly become an integral part of my life. We all planned that I would be able to stay with them both separately but my friend found out how much me and his ex were talking, exact details of our conversations, and a rift was formed. Upon staying with her, I told her that I would be her friend - I told him, too.That was all it was going to be. I again lied to myself, saying it would be what I wanted knowing full welI I wanted more, to keep everyone else happy but me. I would be somebody else to make everything else right. Of course I didn’t want to start anything with this person I had met only recently. That was a lie but I was not going to act on my wants. But when I stayed with her, the inevitable happened. I could have removed myself from the situation but I didn’t. I wanted to be there. I wanted to be with her and, although I am at fault for wanting and not leaving, she came to me. The closer we had gotten the more I felt something I hadn’t felt before. My previous relationships had left me doubting myself and others but this friendship, what was becoming more than that, left me with a new feeling: a feeling of being whole. A feeling echoed by the girl who I would form an intimate relationship with. A declaration of love was shared with her soon after, merely a couple of months after being introduced. We were both full.

For half a year we visited each other, navigated distance, grew to share a sickly amount of lovey messagining I had never experienced or thought I cared for. I enjoyed everything about her. Her mind, her company, her body, the promises and things she said she wanted for us. The things she said made me feel special. Things that you hear in movies and smile knowingly at but they felt real.

Something went wrong. After half a year she had fallen out of love with me. Something had not been right, our conversations different, her wants changed, her questioning her sexuality. She said she wanted to try again but that she needed to look after herself. I was heartbroken but agreed. We had spent a week together where she had initiated everything and I had thought it was honest so I hoped. I gave her space and she said she couldn’t wait to visit, that she wanted to go on holiday with me but I prepared myself for her not being ready. I had become aware of the fact her mental health had taken a dip and so too did mine during this time. But when she met me, three months later, she acted like everything was normal. I had attempted to give her space but we were close. Intimate. She shared herself with me, came to me over and over, told me about how she wanted to do this or that when I next visited, or later in the year. I hoped, after she left, that in the near future maybe she would be ready to step back to a relationship.

After leaving, however, she told me it wouldn’t work. She needed to be alone. Her mental health was poor. Confused and upset by this, denied any closure, I have spiralled even worse. I was accused of being 10 steps ahead of someone who was the first to say ‘I love you’ and the first to initiate at every stage. Even after saying she wanted to wait she was the first to kiss me, to initiate sex. For over half a year she had been all that was on my mind no matter how hard I tried to relax myself. She quit her job, started seeing a therapist. Months later, I don’t really know how she is doing but I feel like she has potentially gotten worse. I would love her to be better. I can’t wait for the day when she can return to a normal life but, preoccupied by the future, I always have the fact that she will move on in the back of my mind. She will be with someone else. She will share her heart, soul, and body with someone other than me who she had said was the best thing to happen to her - who said she wanted to look after me. I won’t be able to take that. I had told her I would be her friend but I know I won’t be able to maintain that. It’ll be the first promise, to never leave someone, that I have broken.

I spend most of my days working then coming home and lying on the ground or my couch and looking up at the ceiling. I have come to the realisation I am doing what I was doing two years ago, spending my free time trying to sleep but this time, when I do, I constantly dream of her or her leaving me or her ex berating me. I was told to write all this down. To get it out of my head. Maybe to see how trivial it all is.

Does saying this help? Not really but it helps me categorise and rationalise to some extent. To see it all out there. Part of me thinks I should cut ties for my own mental health. Or at the very least box everything up related to her, from her, for her, things from our visits, gifts she has bought me and hide them away. To stop messaging her unless necessary. These are the discussions I’ve had but I don’t want to give up on her. I want to believe it all meant something and that it could mean something again. A few months ago she was here. A month before that she was telling me how much she missed me. I think her mental health has diminished her ability to acknowledge or believe her own feelings or those of others. Her blog posts, which she showed me when we first met, still rarely come out and she expressed how her mental health messed up her logic and ruined her relationship which she wasn’t happy with a few months ago.

Do I wait for her to be happy again and hope she remembers the feelings she had for me? Do I stay there for her as a friend at the cost of my sanity? Of course I will. At the very least I have to look after myself and stop concerning myself with her 24/7. I can still help but look after myself, too.