#but beckett really changed me as a person

[katebeckets]

forgot to say happy one year to this url :')

[feeder86]

Feeder 86: The Top Ten

Can you believe that the Feeder86 ‘Orginal Gainer Stories’ blog will soon be posting the two hundredth story? I thought of many ways to celebrate. But then I stopped and realised that I would probably be best using the time to address one of the questions I get asked about most frequently. Which of the stories do I personally like the most?

This was not an easy list to make as I very rarely go back to re-read my own work after I have finished editing and posting them. This is not because I do not like them, but because I always see bits that I want to change. Nevertheless, this project was the perfect opportunity to revisit a few oldies that I remember being very proud of at the time. 

Hopefully you will see this list for what it is: a glimpse into how I write, my motivations and drive; rather than just a self indulgent pat on the back for myself. Yuck!

So, with that being said, let us begin...

#10 The Feeders’ Formula: This tale certainly had to be placed into the list. After all, it is the one that kicked off ‘Original Gainer Stories’ all those years ago. There are many amazing examples of instant body weight transformation stories out there. I felt that I needed to write this one as my contribution to the genre. It went down well at the time. I swiftly wrote a Part Two, then followed it up with others (The Feeders’ Formation, The Feeders’ Formalities, The Feeders’ Foreclosure, The Feeders’ Forecast, The Feeders’ Former Years), becoming something of an ongoing saga in recent years; focusing on the different Feeders from that very first meeting. As a writer who sometimes struggles to find the ending, these are wonderful to write as they all have the same inevitable conclusion. There is also so much freedom to be had when you’re working with characters who are pretty much pure evil. I know so much more about the Feeders than I’ve ever written down, so it is great to tease out those little details with each new installment. The newest of these tales (The Feeders’ Foreplay) was the darkest yet, but seems to have provoked a very favourable reaction from many. Who knows what the Feeders may get up to next? I do! And you can find out too, once we start a whole new sweeps season of stories this April! Come with me into The Feeders' Fortress!

#9 Only One: Where do I start? Only One has my absolute favourite type of feeder. Ben is big, sexy and very in control. He’s one of those rare types of guys who always stays on top and is a step ahead of absoultely everyone he meets. Who wouldn’t fall for him? I certainly did! In fact, I loved him so much that I wrote an entire prequel for him (and none of you even noticed!) Check out Rewire if you want to see how Ben became the man we know and love.

#8 The Wright Boys: The idea of a weight gain that cannot be stopped or controlled is a tempting one for many. How much easier would it be if you didn’t have to second guess your choices or face the pressure to lose weight? This was the first tale of what I see as ‘The Curses’ saga that eventually bled into many other stories (including another one on this list!) and culminated in Wright vs Beckett. However, this story remains my personal favourite of these. If you’re a fan of looking for crossovers between my stories, these are some of the most explicitly linked. I followed it up with a spin-off tale (The Wright Boys: DNA), but continue to have ideas about how I could go back to these boys in the future. Watch this space.

#7 Making Monsters: The title of this story really does give away how I felt about it at the time. This is quite the saga, spread over into not just two, but three parts! It began as a story that was very similar to Blackmailed; a tale that I had written previously about a guy voyeristically enjoying seeing his friend fatten up her boyfriend. However, this story evolved even further for me, with Tommy’s love of eating and gaining weight being both his greatest love, and his biggest shame. His denial only heightened the tension for me, and, when he does eventually give in, the gains feel all the more satisfying as a result.

#6 The Pig Feed: It’s not easy to write a gainer story where there isn’t another character spurring the events along and encouraging things. In this tale however, that role is given to a very tasty and surprisingly addictive pig feed mixture that Steve gets himself hooked on. It’s a story that I really enjoyed writing and still feel very happy with. I have considered writing more stories around this interesting feed. However, I am yet to do so; deciding (for now at least) that things are perhaps best left as they are. But, feel free to let me know your thoughts on this.

#5 Farm Boy: Whether you grew up in a big city, or a small rural community, like Hayden in this story, we can all relate to having desires and attractions that those around us don’t understand. And, thanks to how well connected we are these days, we now know what it’s like to realise that you’re not actually alone, and the whirlwind of excited emotions that follow. I enjoyed writing this story because I, quite simply, fell completely in love with Hayden. As kinky as he was, he still retained that fresh faced innocence throughout. If any of my characters were destined to be together forever, I imagine that these two would be my top choice.

#4 Keeping a Crush: This is one of those stories that I wrote in a matter of hours, and I was so pleased with it when I was done. Getting the train to go to work is not necessarily something that many Americans have to do, and so the location had to be switched to the UK (quite refreshing, I thought!). For me, it’s one of those really rare instances where placing very solid restrictions on the structure of a story (In this case, having it all take place during the commute to and from work) and finding that it actually elevates the sexual tension and mood. All scenes take place in public settings. All conversations could, in theory, be overheard. These days, so many people meet online and flirt for weeks by messaging back and forth, before they even see each other for the first time. Nowadays, for better or for worse, the actual, real fantasy is finding a connection with someone you just see in the real world; perhaps with a person you literally just met on the way to work...

If you’ve not read this one, I really would highly recommend it.

#3 To the Max: Stories with a magical element to them are either loved or hated. However, I find that this tale walks that line very successfully. Ned gets his hands on a love potion and makes straight guy, Max, fall for him. I’m sure we’ve all been there with that fantasy! However, it is in the consequences of inviting someone into your life, someone that you actually know very little about, that the entire eroticism of this story is based. I won’t spoil it for those who have not read it, but believe me when I say that things soon start getting very interesting indeed…

#2 Tommy’s Two Hundred. Don’t recognise this one? Well, that's because none of you have read it yet. 

Now, I’m not just saying this because I want you all to come back for the two hundreth story, but this is genuinely one of my absolute favourites. For my big milestone stories in the past, I have written something specifically for that event (Wright vs Beckett, The Seven Feeders of Finn). However, this is just a tale that I adored writing and decided to hold back for you all, especially for this occasion. It’s a story of domination and submission within a fairly open, but very kinky, relationship. Strapping Hunter plays the part of a very controlling feeder, making me break many of my own rules and stretching my boundaries to the absolute limits. You’ll either love him, or you’ll hate him. That’s all I’m going to say…

Also, this story is going to be the first Feeder86 story that will be fully illustrated. It’s all thanks to the amazing talents of Spellwell9 who was given an advanced copy and asked to imagine the characters in four different scenes. I cannot wait for you to see this!

Put it in your diary. All will be revealed from Friday 5th April…

#1 F80 Control: This is perhaps a controvercial choice (especially as my #1). I have previously admitted that this story strays a little from its purpose of being a gainer story. In other words, I get very caught up in the background story that is being told. However, I feel that the science fiction genre is surprisingly underused in tales of weight gain. Yet, the combination of Aritificial Intelligence and submission seemed, to me, to be the perfect blend. It really is a beast of a story if you can follow it all the way through to its conclusion. 

With the advent of improved artificial intelligence software in recent years, I felt the time was right to develop the world further, with the addition of F80 Ctrl Alt Del; a spin-off tale set slightly before the main story. Then, unable to help myself, I followed this up again with another companion story, F80: Kidnap and Control. 

The reason I chose this universe as my favourite is because this is where I am happiest writing. With AI, I don’t need to consider the morality or motivations - I know exactly what their aims are and I can see multiple ways in which it will cause conflict with humanity (and their waistlines!) I would also love to write more for this world one day, and I even left a little unused subplot in the last story that I think would provide the perfect starting-off point for another chapter. Will I ever write it? Well, we’ll have to wait and see…

So, there you have it! The the complete list!

This was a much harder exercise than I expected when I first embarked upon it. Stories like: Jiggle the Jock, Meticulous, Rule Number One, Freaks, Leftovers I and II, Ethan: The Secret Feeder and, not fogetting The Consequences I, II and III all crept in and out of the list, unfortunatley missing out on the final cut. There are many, many others, of course. But this list cannot go on forever...

So, why not tell me which ones were your favourites? Feel free to write in the comments and post a link to any other stories that you have enjoyed from myself, or from other authors. Hopefully, if we all work together, this could become a great resource for people in the future, filled with signposts and reccommendations.  

Also, don’t forget the Feeder86 Contents page where you can find links and descriptions of all the 200 stories posted so far (as well as plot outlines for upcoming tales as well). Please continue to enjoy the vast catalogue of stories, and even have a go yourself! I love supporting the many new gainer fiction writers who contact me. So please do get in touch if you need advice, or to talk through your ideas. Let’s all encourage a whole new generation of people to get typing away! I’m sure you will cheer them on just as much as I will.

Thank you to everyone who supports the stories blog here on Tumblr. Keep checking in every Friday througout April for a whole new sweeps season to celebrate this milestone. Stories will include: Tommy's Two Hundred, Train for a Gain, The Feeders' Fortress and The 1% (a companion story to The 5%). For now, I thank you all for taking time out to sit and read the very bizarre tales that sprout from my mind. You are all wonderful.

Happy 200 stories!

Feeder86

[serpenlupus]

About Wyll and his horns (and what they mean)

Let's say I was writing a part of my Tav's story with Wyll directly connected to the dialogue he has during the tiefling party, and while struggling with this bit, I've realized there's quite a few misconceptions floating around. I felt compelled to add information to the table that might clear them, so here we go.

First, what exactly happens to Wyll when he disobeys Mizora in act one? Well, he doesn't get turned into a devil, he certainly doesn't get turned into a tiefling, he's not a half fiend, not a demon, none of that. Wyll stays human, but he has horns and red eyes (and other features we can't see on his model as of now).

(Everyone has their race listed, Wyll's remains "Human")

This is because when a warlock fails to uphold some part of their contract they can suffer a certain number of consequences, Wylls is “The character grows horns, a tail, or some other devilish features that can't be removed by any means short of divine intervention. As long as these marks persist the character detects as a fiend when subjected to Detect Evil and Good spells or similar magic.” ( from Baldur's Gate: Descent into Avernus, page 214)

And I’ve come across some people that think it wasn’t so bad of a punishment, that he was being racist towards the tieflings, or just not being justified in being upset after having his body forcibly changed against his will. I think they are missunderstanding just how insidious Mizora’s actions were, and here I just want to give some context to maybe bring a better understanding to the situation. Your conclusions are up to you.

Gonna start by using a not exact analogy, but I think it’s going to make the explanation easier. Stick with me for a minute.

Remember Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean? He had a branded “P” on his arm that marked him as a pirate. A murderer, robber, criminal, etc. in the eyes of the society he was a part of. What did Jack do to earn the branding? (if you don’t know this I suggest you look up the “people aren’t cargo mate” scene) He refused to transport slaves and later freed them, and Beckett had him marked as punishment.

Then, in the first movie, he saves Elizabeth, a woman he didn’t know, from drowning. Right after however, when Norrington sees he has a branded “P”, he’s like “alright, off to jail with you, and then hanging”, no other option crosses his mind. Again, Jack doesn’t know Elizabeth, isn’t indicated to think he is going to be rewarded for helping her, he just sees a drowning person, sees that no one else is going to help, and chooses to save them. That is a pretty selfless/good aligned thing to do, for no other reason that he was the one able to do it, yet the branding in his arm overrides any good action he could ever do, marking him as a criminal for execution and no further thought.

In a way, that’s what Mizora did to Wyll; she forever visibly branded him as someone that has made deals with devils, and that in the world of DnD is a VERY BAD THING. Personally I really like the mod that gives him more devilish features, but at the same time I think there was something clever about choosing to leave him looking more human. He can’t be confused with a tiefling, he doesn’t have the ears, the claws, the tail, all those features that characterize them. He looks kind of uncanny, and that would be like a red flag for anyone in that world. (Beyond the already existing hate for tieflings that I’m not gonna tackle on here because it’s a complicated thing that deserves its own post). And Wyll wants to do good, he wants to help people, to be a positive force in the world so, so badly. This dude got abducted by a nautiloid, got tadpole’d, and the first thing he did right after that was come across the Tiefling refugees and be like “Oh you need help? No worries let me teach you self defense. Oh you being attacked by goblins? Let me blast them real quick”. His way of saying fuck you to all the awful things that have happened to him is being aggressively good and kind. Mizora knows this very well, wants to see him suffer for her amusement, wants to remind him he can't escape her claws, so her choice of punishment was to forever taint his future interactions with mistrust and suspicion. Some people can go real fast from “oh thank God they saved me” to “oh no, are they gonna rob me, are they trying to trick me, are they in cahoots with the ones that attacked me first?” just because of outward appearances. Especially in DnD world. And that deserves its own conversation, but we're focusing on Wyll here.

(Mizora, when I catch you Mizora)

“Well, maybe he shouldn’t have made a deal in the first plac- - “ He was seventeen, alone, preyed upon by Mizora and put in an impossible situation. Please PAY ATTENTION to the story you’re witnesing.

Anyway.

About the tieflings. I know it’s easy to think his words can be derisive towards them, but it’s less about the horns and more about his body being changed against his will. Imagine instead that he got half his face burned, or something that disfigured him. I think his feelings at the moment were closer to that, and yeah they are pretty insensitive words to say to someone with a similar condition (horns or disfiguration), but when feelings are fresh and raw like that it’s easy to say insensitive things. Not saying it was ok for him to say them, but there was no malice in his words. I’ve also seen some people share that they think Mizora wanted to change him more to make him unrecognizable to his original self, the Wyll Ravenguard kid, and I think there is some truth to that too. She wants to make sure that Wyll remembers that he belongs to her, there's no question to that.

(MIZORA, WHEN I CATCH YOU MIZORA)

Whether the Tieflings refugees would feel unsettled by Wyll or not? Yes. In a way, they would. From reasons aside from the ones I explained above, remember that these specific tieflings come from Elturel. If you didn’t pass the History check or don’t remember, Elturel is a city that was literally ripped from the land and dragged to Avernus, First layer of hell (it left a hole on the ground and everything) because their mayor made a deal with the Archdevil Zariel some decades back in the timeline. He sold the souls of all its citizens and the city itself.

This was probably one of the worst times of their lives. Some even got captured and forced to participate in the blood War, like Dammon as a mechanic. And after Elturel got returned to the surface, the tieflings lost their homes because they reminded the other citizens of the literal Hell they’d just gone through, and they kicked them out. And remember, they met and saw Wyll as a human, and then saw him with horns. It’s not unreasonable to think that by looking at him they would be reminded of all the events that led them to the awful situation they’re in. Because of someone that was making deals with devils, just like Wyll. Even if his situation is completely different. And Wyll knows that, that’s why he tells you the tieflings are unsettled by him and chooses to stay away during the party.

It was never just about the horns.

And I know Wyll calls himself a devil but I think it’s because it’s the closest thing he looks as; devils are a whole different race with their own intricacies, although humans can be turned into devils ONCE their souls go to Avernus and they start climbing the power hierarchy there (Mizora and Raphael are cambions/ half-devils btw, which is a different thing,  there are plenty of videos exploring those details more in depth).

Do I think Larian should have made some of this information clearer/easier to access? Maybe? but to be fair, it's a game focused and dedicated to a crowd that was already somewhat familiar with the source material, that blew up waay out of what they originally expected to reach. Hopefully they’ll add some clarifications like they did to other quests. 

Anyway these are my two cents to the conversation, have a nice day, and don't hesitate to add your two cents if you feel like it!

[selene-and-the-cold]

Fic - Of Mammoths and Colds

So, a really, REALLY hot minute ago, we did a "One Prompt - Five Authors" challenge and posted it to the blue forum. Each person would give one prompt and each of us would write a story.

Since then, the characters of my story have been living rent-free in my head and continued to write their story even though this was only meant to be a one shot. I'm not sure if I ever get to write the rest of their story here, but I've recently discussed those two idiots with snz and writing friends and so I decided to go back to the forum and retrieve this first part of their story.

I revised the text a little to bringt it up to speed with what I've planned for them in the long run.

The prompts were: Occupation: Museum Curator Cause: Illness Random: Heat Scenario: Ice skating rink

Please enjoy this blast from the past fic! And now without further ado....

Of Mammoths and Colds

Who on earth was responsible for the idea of having the opening for the new exhibition on “More than Survival – Ice Age Art and Culture” on an ice skating rink was something Dr. Nigel H. Sheridan would never find out – and believe me, he tried.

It seemed, however, that whenever he posed this question to any of the museum’s employees, they were befallen by a sudden bout of deafness and chose not to hear his question or abruptly changed the topic to whatever question lay at hand in preparation for the grand opening.

Why he had agreed to this plan, on the other hand, was another question altogether and frankly this was the greater mystery to him. To be fair, it sounded like a marvelous idea at first. Holding the opening gala for their new exhibition on an ice skating rink in the museum’s courtyard with a life-size mammoth skeleton put on display right at the centre of the ice skating rink, some of the more decorative pieces of Ice-Age art surrounding it…. and right in front of the mammoth would be Nigel’s spot in the limelight, giving his opening speech and cutting the red ribbon to open the exhibition to the public.

For him, this exhibition marked the peak of his career in many ways �� regarding his position as the museum’s curator as well as his scientific profession, and he was therefore very proud of the fact that the exhibition would finally come to life in only a few weeks’ time. It had taken him several years of schmoozing countless foundation board members for financial support for his idea, as well as to beg other museum curators for loans of objects to complete his exhibition. The mammoth skeleton being the biggest and most important of them.

Additionally, he had worked relentlessly to persuade the mayor and several real estate managers to get the permission for excavations on the building site of the new Wechsler Hotel building complex where – as he had stated in numerous journal articles and at several conferences – he suspected to find remains of a shelter used by our Ice Age ancestors. His extensive research had led him to this spot again and again and in the end, his constant nagging had yielded success. Only three days after the excavation had begun, they had found their first artefact. Nigel had been over the moon with the discovery. The mayor had been as well since their city had suddenly become the center of attention. Even international reporters had turned up to cover this story.

Therefore, the mayor Mr. Beckett had suggested to have a bigger opening ceremony than was usual. Nigel had whole-heartedly agreed, and the ice rink concept sounded like the perfect, quirky venue to host such an exclusive opening gala. Until he had signed the contract and realised that to get his one, glorious moment of triumph and attention for his work, he somehow had to get to that darn spot in the limelight right at the center of the ice skating rink. The problem was: Nigel did not know how to ice skate.

Beckett had been his last hope. The man was even older than he was - past sixty already, Nigel was sure of that! - and Nigel was convinced that Beckett had no intention of wobbling on ice skates in front of everybody. However, as Nigel raised that question at one of their meetings, it turned out that the mayor went ice skating about once a week together with his two daughters spending quality time. Therefore, he would not hear anything of Nigel’s suggestions concerning a boardwalk or carpet for them to reach their ‘stage’ at the center of the ice skating rink.

To quote Beckett’s exact words: “I would not want to miss the pleasure of skating near a real life-size mammoth in front of the press for anything in the world. Just think about what a terrific image that would make for our reporters, Sheridan.” Yes…. Nigel was sure the local newspaper would love nothing more than seeing him slip and fall down face first on the ice next to a beaming mayor Beckett… It had not been easy and it had taken Nigel more than one evening of brandy and good long talks with himself as well as his best friend Julian before he had coaxed himself to admit that he needed to swallow his pride to ask for help with this ice skating dilemma. And suddenly, it dawned on him. He still had Wilkins. Wilkins was young, late-20s or early thirties at most, eager, and in dire need for guidance and the support from someone who was an expert and established in the field to open a few doors for him here and there, to get introduced to the right kind of people who could further his professional future and career. In short: Wilkins needed someone like Nigel.

Wilkins had been Nigel’s assistant for about a year and a half now and Nigel had to admit that he Wilkins was probably the best he’d ever had.

What Nigel liked to forget about, though, was that there was another side to that coin. As much as Wilkins needed him, Nigel needed someone like Wilkins. He was patient, clever, a fast learner and intelligent, but not too confident – and clearly not cocky enough to challenge the power relations Nigel wished to be established between him and his assistants. Nigel always wanted to be in control and expected 100% dedication and devotion from an assistant. Fortunately, Wilkins was willing to offer this and even put up with Nigel’s antics and idiosyncrasies. All in all, the two of them were the perfect match.

And fortunately, Wilkins knew how to ice skate like a young god. How Nigel knew about his assistant’s ice skating talents you wonder? The thing was at some point Nigel had been so desperate that he opened up to Wilkins about his dilemma. To Nigel’s surprise, Wilkins had offered help and told him that he had been the captain of a university ice hockey team for more than two years. Since Nigel was desperate and he had known Wilkins as a loyal, discreet person, he finally accepted.

~~~~~

“Dr. Sheridan?”

Wilkins’ soft voice jolted Nigel awake from an indistinct dream. He sat up, blinking confusedly before he stared into Wilkins’ searching eyes. My goodness, had he fallen asleep at his desk?

As it dawned on him that this had indeed been the case, he stared back at his assistant with the wide-eyed guilty conscience of a person who knew very well that they’d been asleep, yet tried to pretend otherwise. Nigel’s hand quickly found its way to his mouth, only to discover in horror that a tiny trail of saliva had run down from his mouth to his chin while he slept. He turned away in his chair, pretending to get one of the folders lined up on a shelf behind his desk while he tried to wipe away the trail with the cuffs of his button up shirt.

“I’m sorry, I did not mean to disturb your.. erm.. work…,” Wilkins said, just as embarrassed by the situation as Nigel himself. “I just wanted to ask whether you’ll still want to have a training session this evening?”

“Of course,” Nigel said, swivelling round with his chair to face his assistant once again. “Why wouldn’t I? We still have a lot of training to do before the grand opening.”

“I know…,” Wilkins said, visibly uncomfortable with how this conversation was going. “I just um…. Well.. I thought you might want to skip today’s session, since you’re not feeling well…”

“Not feeling well?” Nigel rose from his chair in indignation, but had to hold onto the desk for support since the sudden change of position so shortly after his nap had made his throbbing head swim with dizziness.

“I am sorry, Wilkins, but you must be mistaken. I am feeling perfectly fine… splendid in fact! And certainly more than up to our next training session this evening.”

He aimed for a casual tone of voice and tried to keep the conversation rather curt, hoping that Wilkins would leave soon, since a tickle deep down in his sinuses heralded a new set of sneezes rolling on.

The truth was that Nigel had been feeling under the weather since after their first training session last Friday. The ice skating hall had been freezing and the coat Nigel used to hurry from the tube to the museum and back had clearly proven to be too thin to withstand two and a half hours of ice skating training – a good deal of which Nigel had spent with his hands tightly clasped to the rail since he was too afraid of letting go and falling with Wilkins there to witness it all.

So they had spent the majority of their training going through the motions in theory, Nigel holding on to the rail for dear life, while Wilkins elegantly glided over the ice as if he’d been born with skates on his feet to show him what the theory of ice skating should look like in the end. Nigel, however, was not prepared to let go and give Wilkins the satisfaction of seeing him slip and fall on the ice. Having him there, flying across the icy surface as if his feet did not even need the ground to stand on, while Nigel himself was glued to the rail had been humiliation enough.

After this first humiliating evening, Nigel had decided to have some training sessions on his own. Wilkins had explained and shown him the basics after all, hadn’t he? However, Nigel might have been just a little too focused and obstinate in his endeavor. He had spent almost his entire weekend at the ice skating place, resulting in him being chilled to the bone for two straight days in a row. Not to mention the countless falls he had suffered. He had badly bruised his knee and his bottom was still sore on Monday from his first fall on Saturday. Stress and lack of sleep had done their part so yesterday Nigel had woken up to the beginning of the new week with a sore throat and a headache so drillingly loud that Nigel had been sure his employees saw his temples throb and pulse in pain.

The sore throat and headache had felt awful, yet Nigel would have given anything he had if he could go back to this state of the cold, because today, the sneezing had started. There had been one innocent little sneeze after he’d woken up – nothing to be concerned about. This sneeze however had cleared the path for a seemingly endless amount of ensuing sneezes, sliding down his runny nose, gaining momentum and intensity with every hour that passed. Nigel had done a good job of stifling most of the sneezes, but they had become so powerful and urgent at some point that his chest and throat hurt with every stifle he forced upon himself. So after lunch, Nigel had retreated to his office to get some of the paperwork done – which he had barley started working on before his tired, worn out body had fallen asleep right at the desk.

“Well if you are sure that you’re feeling up to today’s session, I’ll wait for you in the museum’s entrance hall after closing time.” Wilkins’ voice startled him out of his musings and back to the present.

“Thank you, I’ll be there,” Nigel said, trying not to wiggle his nose as the tickle surged against a spot deep in his sinuses, which made the delicate membranes in his nose quiver.

Wilkins nodded then turned to leave, but lingered for a moment, hand already reaching out for the doorknob. He hovered there for a few seconds, unsure of what to do, while Nigel prayed to his and any other gods out there that Wilkins would finally leave so that he could sneeze. The tickle had become so strong that his eyes started to water, and his breath came quick and uneven in a flurry of suppressed hitches. After what seemed like an eternity, Wilkins finally decided against whatever it was that he had wanted to do or say and left. Nigel sighed. Then sneezed immediately afterwards. Sudden, harsh and uncovered, misting the papers on his desk.

“Hiiyy’ESSHhU!… ISsHH!…Hihhh….Hi’yIDZzsSHU...” After the fit Nigel sank back into his chair, exhausted and with a handkerchief pressed against the underside of his angry pink nose. This would be a long day – and an even longer evening.

~~~~~

Only a few hours later, Nigel regretted how boasting he’d been about his health in his conversation with Wilkins. His health had considerably deteriorated within the last hours. A constant sheen of cold sweat clung to his burning forehead, resurfacing again and again no matter how often Nigel wiped it away with one of his handkerchiefs. His nose had turned a deeper shade of pink and was now almost flaming red. He felt absolutely miserable and if it weren’t for his fear of public humiliation and scorn from his assistant, Nigel would have gone home and straight to bed.

Instead, he had met Wilkins in the hall and trotted off together with him to the ice skating hall where he silently cursed himself for his own stubbornness as he struggled putting the skates on his feet. Wilkins was already on the ice, patiently waiting even though it took Nigel almost 15 minutes to get the skates on his feet.

“Ah, there you are!”, Wilkins said with a smile and glided over to the entrance of the ice skating rink once Nigel had managed to stalk there with the skates on his feet. Suppressing a grin, Wilkins held out both hands to help a tottering Nigel enter the icy surface. Nigel almost slipped as he’d set his second foot on the ice, but Wilkins’ gripped his hands firmly and managed to steady him.

“Wait… what are you doing?” Nigel realised in panic that Wilkins was gliding towards the center of the ice skating rink, taking him with him since they still held each other by the hands.

“I’m taking you ice skating. Last time, we had the theory. This time, I want you to try to perform the movements yourself.”

Nigel stiffened, turning more or less into a wooden stick on skates. He had never been this far away from the safe railing surrounding the ice, even during his lonely extra training sessions over the weekend. He could just thank his lucky stars that he had practiced on his own. Without this extra practice, he would not have even made it this far without falling despite Wilkins’ strong, well-meaning grip around his hands.

“That makes sense, of course, but I’d still prefer it if we could start from over there…” he pointed towards the railing with his chin, but Wilkins shook his head.

“You’ll never going to let go as long as the railing is within reach. Trust me, you can do it, Dr. Sheridan. In fact, you’re doing great. We’ve come thus far without a single fall.” He smiled reassuringly, but Nigel could only give a hollow scoff. Being dragged onto the ice by another person barely counted as doing great in his books.

“Do you remember what I told you about how to move your feet, Dr. Sheridan?” Nigel nodded and sniffled. Of course his nose had chosen this precise moment to start running again. “Great, then try to imitate those movements. I won’t let go, just try to move your feet while you glide with me… Yeah, just like that!… Now try bending your knees a little…”

With Wilkins’ help, Nigel managed several rounds around the ice skating rink without falling. To be honest he barely did anything other than move his feet here and there, while Wilkins was guiding them over the ice. From time to time, Nigel had to give in to a wet sniffle. He also felt uncomfortably warm and was wondering whether the thermostat of that place might be broken. Yet, the ice seemed fine – just as glossy and solid as when they had first entered the hall.

“Ok, I think you’re ready, Dr. Sheridan.” Wilkins’ words forced Nigel to concentrate on the outside world again.

“sniff What for?”

“Ready to try on your own,” said Wilkins and started to disentangle one of his hands from Nigel’s, who almost lost his balance and firmly held onto the other man in a sudden panic.

“What?! No!” Nigel almost shrieked.

“Dr. Sheridan…,” Wilkins said with an amused grin. “You’ll have to try and let go at some point, if you want to learn how to do it before the grand opening gala…”

Of course he was right. Nigel knew that he was in his heart of hearts, so he let go of the other man with a reluctant sigh, almost instantly losing his balance. He only managed to prevent a fall by wildly flailing his arms around like the parody of a windmill. He thought he’d seen Wilkins’ grin from the corner of his eye, but when he had regained enough of his balance to face the man, Wilkins just stood there with a neutral face.

“Ok, now that you’re on your own, just try to do what you did with your feet when we were skating together… don’t overthink it.. Let your body do the work, it will remember the motions.”

Nigel heaved a heavy sigh. From what it felt like, someone was drilling a hole right through his left temple with a blunt object, and he was a little dizzy from going round and round in circles. Additionally, it had become so unbearably hot in that ice skating hall that he felt sweat trickling down his back.

“Right then…,” he finally said after clearing his throat. The sooner he’d try, the sooner he’d be able to leave this horrible place and get home.

Arms outstretched for balance, he gave a first, tentative push with one of the skates. It sent him gliding forward in slow motion.

“Good, now let’s try the second foot… Give it another push.. yes, there you go!” Wilkins seemed delighted, and after Nigel had managed to push himself forward a few more times, he actually felt like he finally had achieved something. He went on for a few more minutes, edgily gliding across the ice in tentative motions with Wilkins closely following him with encouraging words.

And just as he thought that he would manage this blasted ice skating task after all, Nigel was suddenly gripped by an urgent need to sneeze. An army of hot needle pinches assaulted his poor sinuses, the tickle building fast, forcing him to heave a few quick breathes, greedily sucking in the cold air surrounding him, eyes half closed, mouth hanging open, head tilted back in preparation for what turned out to be a set of sneezes so forceful they pitched him forward.

“Heehh…hhiii…..hiiiiihhh?!….HIi-ISSHJU!!…Hii’yESHhU…. hii…HI’DJiZzsSHU!”

The first sneeze had set him off-balance and he had tried to safe himself by flailing his arms wildly again. Wilkins glided over to help, but by the time he reached Nigel it was already too late – the second sneeze sent Nigel falling down on his butt, the third sneeze hitting just as his backside kissed the hard, cold icy surface. Great. He had just sneezed himself off his feet and he could not think of anything that would be more embarrassing than this.

Well.. maybe there was one thing: seeing the bright grin on his assistant’s face as he looked up, Nigel’s own nose running and nostrils flaring in the aftermath of the sneezes.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?!,” Nigel complained indignantly, sniffling hard to ban the stuffiness from his voice.

“No, Sir!” Wilkins hurried to assure him, barely able to keep a straight face as Nigel tried to get up again, only to flop back onto the ice with a loud thud that actually sounded like it hurt.

“Damn it! Wilkins, don’t just stand there, help me.. hiii…mbeee…heee….Hii’YiSSSHUu!!.. sniff ugh… up…!”

“Right away, Sir!” Wilkins approached so elegantly that Nigel was sure he was doing it on purpose to mock his own ungraceful fall. Yet, he bit back the sneery comment that came to his mind, because he had no idea how he should ever get up again without Wilkins’ help. He was too far away from the rail to hold onto it and what was left of his dignity simply just forbade him to slide all the way from where he lay on the ice to the railing on his bottom like a one-year-old to get to the railing and be able to pull himself up again.

“Ok… here we go. Would you.. um… please give me your hand, Dr. Sheridan?” Wilkins tentatively held out his hand which Nigel grabbed and tried to use as a lever to help himself up, but he could not find a hold on the ice with the skates on his feet and flopped down on the ice yet again with a soft thud.

“Damn it, man! You need to pull harder.. I can’t get up if y..hhhhuu… youuhh…” Trailing off, his angry voice lost its edge and dissolved into a helpless, panting array of breathy little build up hitches right before another sneeze erupted out of him. “hiihh..hiii…..Hii’yESSsHu!..”

Suddenly, a tissue appeared in front of Nigel’s blurry vision, followed by Wilkins’ concerned face. “Bless you, Dr. Sheridan. Are you alright?”

“I’b fide…,” Nigel said less than convincing his voice muffled in thick congestion, which made it necessary for him to bury his nose in the tissue Wilkins’ had offered, before another sneeze escaped him. He had tried to stifle it but failed miserably.

“hiihh..Hi’Ng’DISshHJU!..”

“Bless you again,” Wilkins offered softly. There was a pause in which Nigel blew his nose again, very well aware of the fact that his assistant’s eyes rested upon him the entire time.

“I really think we should call it a night, Dr. Sheridan….”

Nigel looked up, his eyes meeting Wilkins’ concerned face.

“Mbaybe you’re right…,” he finally admitted with a defeated sigh. Wilkins skated closer and grabbed him by his arms. Somehow, they managed to pull Nigel’s body into a standing position again with joint effort. Nigel was shivering by now, his headache was killing him, and he was sure that he would have trouble to sit for the next few days after his ungraceful fall.

“Let me take you to the exit,” Wilkins offered, taking Nigel’s hands in his before he carefully skated towards the little door of the ice skating rink.

“You’ve got to probise mbe sobething…,” Nigel said, his voice a congested mess. “Dod’t ever tell anybody what happened here todight…”

A knowing smile crossed Wilkins’ face and he asked innocently: “Why? What happened tonight?”

Nigel sighed in relief. Wilkins really was the best assistant he’d ever had.

[mayabishopgold]

Yh I think carina was often portrayed as too perfect but that's bc the writers used her more as a plot device for other peoples stories than her own individual character they made her too 1 dimensional. I cant really get over how they had her go through all the trauma of maya's mh issues and her having to 51/50 her yet we barely heard her side at all and the one episode that was a bit more focused on her (6x09) they did the stupid pam thing where they just had her discuss more baby stuff that we already knew. I think the writers were just trying to scare ppl but we knew they weren't going to split marina up for good it was just a waste of time bc they went over stuff they'd already established like carina already said she didnt want a baby without maya in 6x03 why would some random patient change that?

Carina I thought at times could be veryyy pushy and unfair she defo wasnt perfect. Like when she was worried abt maya not being focused on the baby plan in 5x10 then the literal next ep maya was trying to get involved but she just shut her down right away. She still constantly was questioning her the whole time even tho maya agreed to everything she wanted (even the stupid idea we dont talk abt) and in 6a I thought she handled maya VERY poorly. I understand it was a hard situation but confronting maya with therepy right infront of andy in 6x02 when she just saw beckett on her ass and she was visibly agitated? That's just not something you do also she straight up laughed at her in the bucket of blood incident then got suprised when maya didnt want to talk to her? Maybe I sound like an ass but I was kinda like "well wtf do you expect?" They made the baby storyline too much of her personality which is a big shame. They could've easily focused on other things for her at the same time I mean she had this whole backstory that was even partially already established for them on greys. With maya's arc in s6 it was the perfect oppurtunity to connect them but noo too interesting for these writers apparently we needed to see sullivan and ross screw all the time and travis run for mayor etc fsr

I think carina understandably had hella trust issues and quite frankly needed some help it's a shame they never wanted to do anything with her character bc she was a whole lot of wasted potential and I'll never understand why writers of tv shows are so against giving the fans what they actually want and opting to do dumb sh*t that makes no sense instead

Exactly, I feel the same way. Carina had so much potential, but the writers barely scratched the surface with her. They used her more as support for Maya’s storylines instead of developing her as a full character. And yeah, that “too perfect” vibe came from that. It wasn’t that she was perfect, but that the writers didn’t bother to show her flaws the way they did with Maya.

7x04 is a great example. She completely dismissed Maya’s thoughts on preferred parenting style and instantly brought up her father. To me that was a huge deal, but the writers decided it wasn't. And even made Carina appear to be right when Liam eventually stopped crying.

I loved that both characters had flaws, but the imbalance in how those flaws were shown made Carina feel more one-dimensional to me. The show kept digging into Maya’s issues but barely gave Carina a voice, even in moments where she needed one, like during Maya’s mental health crisis.

It’s frustrating because there were so many chances to develop Carina, (her backstory, her job, her trauma, her dynamic with Maya) but the show just didn’t go there. The character, Stefania and us viewers deserved better.

[imagowrites]

It’s a Pirate Life for Me!

Why I am an adult who still believes in the pirate philosophy and is not willing to change.

An essay by: a person who really hopes future employers will never find this, but will still put their name at the end of it.

Painting credits: Pirate Boarding, Andrey Serebryakov

Can One Still Call Themselves A Pirate in the Twenty-First Century?

There are two answers to that question, and both of them are "yes".

Pirates do actually exist today: there were around 120 incidents of maritime piracy and armed robbery against ships reported in 2023 and around 115 in 2022 (source x). So yes, one can define themselves a pirate in the twenty-first century in a very literal sense; which is not what I'm trying to do here, of course.

While the world has changed and piracy has (almost) ceased to exist, thanks to stories, legends and media, the idea of piracy has become completely detached from the practice. This has led to a concept of "piracy" that has very little to do with sailing, stealing, and killing, and a lot more to do with what most things become over time: philosophy.

What no longer exists in practice in our era (and sometimes what never existed at all) has become a way of living: think about cowboys, goths, hippies, punks and so on. All these things are much more than aesthetics: each one has its own vision, its own practices, its own style, its own way of living; in other words, its own philosophy.

This text is about pirate philosophy and its origins.

First Things First: Why Did People Become Pirates?

Piracy did not appear out of nowhere in 1600; it's ancient and we have proofs of it existing as a practice since ancient Egypt (read more here). We automatically think of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries when we talk about piracy because that period is known as the Golden Age of Piracy. Precisely between 1650 and 1730, there were thousands of active pirates, some of them infamously notorious, as Henry Morgan, Captain Kidd, Calico Jack, Bartholomew Roberts and, of course, Blackbeard himself. But why did that happen? Well, the answer is complex but can be easily summed up in a single word: money. The world was changing, and as Lord Cutler Beckett explains so brilliantly in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest: currency was becoming the currency of the country, especially in England. Ruthless landowners forced small farmers to leave their lands, while smaller tradesmen were challenged by larger businesses. Everyone wanted more, and those who couldn't adapt to the new world's rules became unemployed and were forced to move to urban areas to look for work or poor relief. The cities became overpopulated and soon there weren't funds left: distressed people had no hope of making a better life (source x). For this people, piracy was nothing more than a way out: it was either submit to the new society and starve to death, or rebel and survive. What would you have done?

What Kind of People Became Pirates?

Piracy soon became the best choice for many people. Not only for unemployed men who couldn't find a better way to survive, but also for those who, for various reasons, couldn't fit in. people who couldn't conform to societal norms weren't just discriminated against or isolated, they were often killed. That's why, even though piracy wasn't an easy life at all, many people preferred it. So, who were the pirates?

Sailors usually didn't make enough money to survive, and the discipline was extremely strict. Many of them ended up starving, getting sick, and dying. It's not surprising that many chose to become criminals and sail as pirates (source x).

Teenagers, often orphans with no money or future. Young men might have to endure seven-year apprenticeships before they could make an independent living, while piracy offered them a way to earn money quickly (source x).

Rebellious against the oppressive conditions imposed by their governments, specially from the Navy.

People discriminated because of their race. Black people in particular often had no social opportunities all, but could find acceptance within pirate crews, where camaraderie transcended racial or ethnic differences.

People with a religious belief that was considered heretical or nonconformist by the mainstream society could often find themselves persecuted. Pirate crews comprised members from diverse religious backgrounds and were generally more tolerant of religious differences.

People with a criminal background, who were offered an opportunity to start anew and be part of a community, two things that the civilized society couldn't give them.

Queer people, particularly homosexual men. Homosexuality was a crime at the time, often viewed as negatively as piracy, if not worse. Piracy was a male-dominated world; although for a long time media tried to portray pirates as "turning" gay due to the absence of women among them, the truth is that many gay men were pirates because they were gay. Homosexuality was so common among pirates that they had something very similar to same-sex marriage. It was called "matelotage": a legal civil union that bound two sailors together in an informal partnership, uniting one's fortune and future to the other's, and was respected by ship captains and pirate crews (source x).

Women. The majority of pirates were men, but not all of them. In a world that was not at all kind to young girls and women in general, it was not uncommon for them to disguise themselves as men or marry a pirate in order to become one. There have been notorious women pirates, some of them captains, such as Zheng Yi Sao or Huang Bamei (source x).

In short, outcasts. Individuals rejected by society, unable to find their place, and unwilling to conform to strict societal rules.

The Adventurers

There were a few people, a minority of course, who willingly chose piracy even though they had a normal, conforming, and even wealthy life. It's the case of Stede Bonnet, The Gentleman Pirate; he was born into a wealthy English family and inherited the family estate after his father's death in 1694. Despite his lack of sailing experience, Bonnet decided he should turn to piracy in the spring of 1717. He bought a sailing vessel, the Revenge, and travelled with his paid crew, capturing other vessels and burning other Barbadian ships. His story, apart from giving us one of the best pirate stories in the history of media, is significant because it provides evidence that piracy wasn't just about necessity; it was about identity. Piracy had become a way of life long before it was romanticized by the media.

The Pirate Life

What was it about pirate life that was so tempting for so many people? Life on a ship wasn't easy at all; the work was tough, the food was poor, and anyone could die at any moment, whether due to illness, sinking, or murder. Nevertheless, there was something that made it all worthwhile: freedom. People who have had no possibilities nor future in society found in piracy the opportunity to live by their own rules. Civilization's norms had no reason to exist in an uncivilized society; no master telling you what to do, no morality, no societal standards, no need to impress or perform. If you wanted something, you simply had to find a way to get it. That meant you could possibly starve to death, but it also meant that you had a chance of getting everything you had ever desired, and eating and drinking until you died, and in the civilized society you didn't have that chance. You could choose to sail and never touch land again; you could choose to marry or not to marry, to have a family or not to have one, to sleep with whomever you wanted to, to practice your religion. You could change your name and be who you wanted to be. Pirate life was the realization of that question most of us have asked ourselves at least once: 'What if I disappear tomorrow and start all over again somewhere else?'.

Piracy in the Modern World

In our eastern, civilized, technological, capitalist society, we don't need to be part of a crew and sail to be pirates. Piracy as a practice was defeated thanks to pirate hunting in the eighteenth century, but you can't kill an idea, can you? Ideas not only persist, they evolve and adapt to the changes they're forced to face. When we say "pirate" in today's world, we mean a lot of different things:

Sea Pirate: a person who attacks and robs ships at sea;

Software Pirate: a person who appropriates or reproduces the work of another for profit without permission, usually in contravention of patent or copyright;

In Italy, we have a way to describe people who ignore the Traffic Laws, 'pirata della strada', literally 'pirate of the street';

In sexual slang, the word 'pirate' is used to define someone who sleeps around, who constantly looks for casual sex.

The term 'ass pirate' has been used as a slur to describe homosexual men.

In short, the term in today's society is used to describe someone who breaks the rules, whether they are actual laws or societal standards.

If we consider everything piracy represents as a concept, as an idea, in modern society, and put it together, we can sum it up in three words:

Freedom, Anarchy, Resistance.

Freedom

'Freedom' is such an abstract concept it is almost impossible to define. It's widely discussed in philosophy, particularly the question: is it possible to be truly free? As soon as we built a society, in order to gain benefits, we had to partially sacrifice our freedom. We can't freely steal from our neighbors, but in doing so, we ensure our neighbors won't steal from us (at least, we hope). It's a simple concept. However, there's a line beyond which the benefits we gain aren't worth the sacrifices we make to obtain them. This has occurred repeatedly throughout history; it happened in the Golden Age of Piracy, and it was the reason why most of people chose to abandon civilization and sail as pirates, and it continues to happen every day. Whenever a social construct, or sometimes even a law, prevents you from simply existing as a person; whenever your future is dictated by your social status; whenever you're denied free time, enjoyment, rest, and happiness because you have to work ten hours a day just to be paid the minimum wage, if you're lucky enough to live in a country that has one. That isn't a freedom you willingly gave away to have a benefit. It's a freedom someone took from you before you were even born, before you could think and understand that just because everyone acts like it's the normal way of living, it doesn't mean it has to be that way.

Anarchy

It is true that, at least concerning crews, pirate society had a sort of hierarchy, in which the Captain of the ship was at the top. However, it is also true that this hierarchy could collapse at any given moment, considering the possibility of a mutiny, and that, in general, pirate society was anarchic. There has been research on the functioning of pirate society, particularly regarding its potential application in a hypothetical modern society where the value of human life and individual needs are more considered than they were during that era. Most of the work in that sense has been done by Peter Lamborn Wilson in his 1995 book 'Pirate Utopias: Moorish Corsairs & European Renegadoes'. He provides a definition of what he calls 'Pirate Utopias', that are described as "Early forms of autonomous proto-anarchist societies in that they operated beyond the reach of governments and embraced unrestricted freedom" (source x). I highly recommend reading his work and all the other research that followed it if you want to go into detail, because that's not what I'm going to do here (for now).

That being said, this is my personal take on the matter:

In our days, the discussion about Anarchy as a political belief is often ridiculed and reduced to a mere "if there were no rules, people would kill each other". That statement is true; people would. What is usually misunderstood and not taken into consideration is that people who profess to believe in Anarchy do not mean we should abolish every existing law overnight and see what happens. With 'Anarchy,' we mean a hypothetical society in which individuals are free to do as they please, and they willingly choose not to kill, steal, and hurt others because they have no interest in doing so. This hypothetical society is, of course, unachievable; it's what is called a utopia.

Most political beliefs are based on utopias (or dystopias, depending on your vision of them), because a society that strictly adheres to a pure political system is impossible to achieve. There cannot be a perfect socialist society, nor a perfect communist one, nor a perfect capitalist one, and of course, there cannot be a perfect anarchist society. What we can do, though, is aspire to one—or, to use a naval metaphor, we can set the course towards it. We can make decisions, take actions, and build societies around a specific vision.

The western society, for example, tends to a capitalistic system; in brief, money is what our society revolves around. The more money you possess, the more power you wield; your ultimate goal in life must be to gain money so that you can afford basic necessities: food, housing, healthcare and so on. Everything is privatized, leading to the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer, being exploited by people whose only purpose is to become even more rich. Consequently, you are forced to wake up every morning at 6 am to work ten-hour shifts for minimum wage. Don't like it? You're free not to live in the capitalist society. You'll probably starve to death, end up living on the street, be marginalized, isolated, persecuted, but still. You're "free" to do it. Of course, this is not a "perfect" capitalist society, it can't be; not until Democracy exists, not until Resistance exists. Still, our society tends towards it.

'Anarchy' doesn't mean we should live in a society with no rules; it simply means we should strive towards it and build a society that is as similar as possible to that utopia, prioritizing the freedom of the individual, but without causing collapse.

Resistance

Most pirates were hardly educated enough to even understand all of that as a concept, of course. They didn't fight for a political idea, most of them fought to survive. Even though it wasn't a utopian society, they still had a shared belief: dissent. Being an outcast means to be disillusioned in how 'mainstream' society works, and we know most of them were, considering their social background. Piracy was, in its own way, a movement of resistance.

Times have changed, and we don't have to engage in naval battles to resist. As society evolved, resistance as a practice evolved with it, and hence Western society has become less and less violent, as have the harmless but powerful acts of resistance.

Every time you protest, you are resisting. Every time you talk back, you expose a normalized injustice, you rebel towards an unfair authority, you say 'no', you go against what's expected from you, you are unapologetically yourself, you refuse to adapt, you decide to ignore or bypass a senseless law, you are resisting. Every time you prioritize your free time over money, you challenge beauty standards, you don't accept a 'that's how it was always done' as a justification. Even when you have fun harder than how you're supposed to, when you rejoice louder than how's considered appropriate, every time you dance like no one is watching you, you are, somehow, resisting.

Piracy in Media

Much of our perception of things we haven't directly experienced is filtered and conditioned by media. Even when we study historical periods like the Medieval Age or the Roman Empire, a part of our understanding will always be influenced by the media we've consumed about them. This is because media is often how we were introduced to these subjects: you can get very passionate about Indiana Jones, and so get interested in studying the pyramids and ancient Egypt, only to find out pyramids are nothing like it was portrayed in the movies. Nevertheless, you got interested in studying them in the first place because of Indiana Jones, so as much as you understand and accept that that isn't the truth behind ancient Egypt, you can also accept that Indiana Jones is part of your vision of it, and that cannot change. I know Pirates of the Caribbean isn't historically accurate, as much as Our Flag Means Death and Monkey Island aren't; still, I cannot deny that they have a role in creating a general vision of Pirate Philosophy in the modern world.

There are, in my opinion, three main aspects that come out from the combination of what we know about Piracy as a historical reality and as it's portrayed by media, and those are Hedonism, Nomadism and Camaraderie.

Hedonism

Hedonism is defined as 'the prioritization of pleasure in one's lifestyle, actions, or thoughts'. It's a recurring theme in the portrayal of pirate society; from songs, to movies where Tortuga is depicted as a place where people drink, eat, have sex and fight as they please, to legends that speak of treasures to be found so one can live a life of excess.

The reason for this is related to what we already know about the history of pirates, particularly the society they escaped from. The society of the seventeenth century was extremely strict, both morally and legislatively. Sex outside of marriage was out of the question, and many things that we consider normal today were seen as affronts to decency, often punishable. To be considered a respectable man or woman, one had to follow certain rules. Additionally, many pirates came from backgrounds of extreme poverty, making them prone to indulging in every kind of pleasure when they could.

Hedonism isn't just a perpetual search for pleasure; it's actually an ethical philosophy that is grounded in pleasure (defined as the avoidance of pain as much as possible) as the only intrinsic value and therefore the only reasonable expression of ethical good. This philosophy of life can be easily connected to the anarchist society that we described earlier; a society that doesn't have rules and in which you don't have a 'place' or need to 'contribute,' since your only purpose as an individual is to pursue pleasure.

I personally believe in Hedonism as an ethical philosophy, particularly Psychological Hedonism, as much as my research of pleasure doesn't prevail on someone else's.

Nomadism

One of the things that fascinated me the most about the Pirate Life as portrayed in media, was the idea of embarking on a journey that would never end. Our society is a stationary one, and I actually think there's nothing wrong with that. My perspective on this matter has nothing to do with morality, ideology, or politics. Being stationary is good; the human species would have never evolved if it didn't stop and build the world as we know it. This is simply a personal preference and stems from my absolute intolerance and repulsion at the idea of being born and dying in the same place. I've always yearned to explore, to see as much of the world as I could. The concept of 'borders' has always bothered me; I firmly believe in cultural exchanges and in learning about how other human beings live in different parts of the world. Of course, I acknowledge that without nations, traditions, and populations that are local and bound to their territories, there wouldn't even be cultures to discover or different societies to explore. So, this is about me, not a hypothetical, utopian society. I'm the one who always wanted to travel without ever stopping; I've never felt like I belonged in any one place or that there's a good enough reason to settle in a single nation and miss out on all that there is to see out there.

Camaraderie

Pirates encompassed men and women with all different kinds of backgrounds, nationalities, beliefs, ideologies and identities. While we speak in absolutes, in a society with no moral or legislative boundaries, factors such as who you were, where you came from, who you slept with, or what you believed in simply didn't matter. You were a pirate, and that was enough.

The official definition of camaraderie is:

"A feeling of friendliness towards people that you work or share an experience with".

In this case, we could even say "towards people that you share a lifestyle with". Being realistic, in a historically accurate pirate society, it's plausible that hate towards differences and minorities still existed, considering the strict and mentally bigoted society most pirates came from. However, we're talking about individuals who chose to leave that society, probably because of its strict and mentally bigoted nature. It's reasonable to assert that this particular kind of hate was at least less prevalent in the pirate society than outside of it.

Piracy in media undoubtedly plays a significant role in romanticizing the sense of brotherhood and companionship felt among pirates; we saw Pirate Codes, Brethren Courts, battles in the name of a common ideal, epic friendships and romances, songs that speak of a union strong enough to beat death itself and slogan such as "Long Live Piracy!".

What attracts me the most about it is that camaraderie as a concept exists in basically all societies or communities with a shared aim or belief. However, there are always rules that need to be followed, and the risk of being excluded and losing the privilege of deserving such camaraderie is always present. The idea of fidelity toward one's society, community, or even nation is essential for its survival, ensuring that those in power maintain control over their adherents, citizens, or believers. The pirate society is the only one I've stumbled across that doesn't need it. The feeling of brotherhood within these people doesn't need any kind of loyalty, proper rules or the fear of losing privileges to make sure that the community keeps existing. That's because the pirate society is made up of people who have already betrayed, renounced, and lost all of their privileges to be there. All they have is that sense of brotherhood and friendship. They exist in a reality in which none of them belongs anywhere and that, somehow, becomes a sense of belonging; one that doesn't need to be continuously shown or respected, simply because it's the only thing that keeps them there.

I believe that is the only reality in which camaraderie and freedom can coexist in a society, and I think it's one of the most beautiful and powerful concepts I've ever seen portrayed.

Conclusions

We finally arrived at the end of this... yeah, let's call it 'essay'. It was more than two weeks ago when I wrote the first word. It was meant to be brief and simply a way to put in words an intimate belief. I wasn't sure if I wanted to post it, mostly because I rarely share such deep thoughts with people around me; though, I'm trying to change that. As all human beings I strive to find belonging and as a true pirate, I never found anywhere to do so. So, to find but one person who reads this until the end and finds themselves to agree with my view, it would make me immeasurably happy.

Thank you if you made it this far, even if you don't agree with a single word I've written, because you dedicated part of your time to me, and I appreciate it.

If you find syntactic errors, please consider that english isn't my first language and also that grammar is a made up concept anyway.

Don't forget to be free, to resist, to pursue pleasure as much as you can, to explore and to show camaraderie not because you have to, but for the sake of it.

Fair winds t' ye!

Imago

[threetrenchcoatsinatrenchcoat]

What is the three houses musical?

THANK YOU YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL

ok so Three Houses is a one-act sung-through stage musical by Dave Malloy, whom you may know for writing Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812 or perhaps Ghost Quartet. i don't know the broadway scene super well, but he seems to be one of the few people consistently trying interesting things in musical theatre.

it's the stories of Susan, Sadie, and Beckett, each finding themselves suddenly, achingly alone at the beginning of the pandemic. alone with the parts of themselves they'd been trying to run from. their tales (almost) never directly interact, but they all end up helping each other heal. the way this happens is hard to explain but it's one of the things that makes me freeeeeak out about how cool theatre can be. and i really don't wanna say what literally happens more than that. you can click here if you wanna watch with no further spoilers, but below is a vague list of what i love about it...

i started out enjoying the orchestration and crazy harmonies, then got way pulled into the story where i was like i actually have no idea how any of this ends, then finished and was like i wanna live in this sound and just replayed it a ton, and now i'm having fun trying to unearth all the million symbols connecting each story. it has stunning glacial beauty interposed with observations and jokes that hit way too close to home. Dave Malloy always shows such deep love for every character he writes, but he's never written anything anywhere near as personal as this. this piece feels like he figured out how to heal his own soul and put it on a stage. to pitch this to you specifically, it's about as aesthetically different as you can get from Rent but is also very much about the sanctity of presence and fostering community during a plague.

it's got ghosts, vinyl, butterflies, the gecko emoji, fairy tales, undiagnosed ocd, Fleetwood Mac, a fish festival, puppets, a hurdy-gurdy solo, a retro jacuzzi worth 7,000 coins, wwii, zombie movies, drunk karaoke, irish mythology, lesbian yearning, "the birch trees stand like ghosts" "celtic monks and old Luke Skywalker" "answering work emails in slightly too poetic ways" "nothing beats alphabetical order!" "my heart broke and then the world broke and then my brain broke too" "and the birch trees stand like ghosts" "planktastic!" "all labeled by year (swoon!)" "maybe you should pierce an ear go full on midlife crisis" "so many nights i'd wake up with a scream in my throat swallow it down let my love sleep" "and the birch trees stand like ghosts"

more than that, it's got some of my favorite performances in anything, and more than that, it got a cast album that came out a week and change ago which is why i am going crazy only now, but even more than any of that, it's got that bootleg! if you have an hour and forty minutes to watch weird theatre, imho this is the best it gets

[mostowa]

Castle's Charm

So finally, after almost 4 months (The Olympic Games and an enormous life change) I finished binging Castle. And well, yeah, I'm late to the party like 7 to 10 years or something, but I was still hype'ing and loving the journey. And now I think this is one of the best series I've ever watched. Here is the list of reasons. It's gonna be tl;dr, as always!

Thanks @makeitastrength for making me do this ;)

Castle/Beckett dynamic is absolutely timeless. It has Darcy/Lizzy's initial disdain turning into respect and trust, it has Sherlock/John-level crime solving and mutual understanding, it has Meredith/Derek's drama and my beloved Chenford's level undercurrent emotions. And so much more!

There is something unique about them, too. This is one of the most important things that I learned from the series. It's the simple fact, that one can make annoyance a love language. I absolutely love how much childish Castle can be and how much Kate just... lets him be one, without giving up her own boundaries. You can be annoyed at your partner and secretely love that about him/her. Kate Beckett, thank you for showing me how to stand my partner's dad jokes. Or just really really bad jokes.

There is no doubt that the series is about those two (and it's a little bit of a shame for me, I'll explain further). And what made it very enjoyable for me was the fact that I've never doubted they are endgame. Their love and fact that they like each other very much was never in doubt on my side (except for the beginning of course). Even at their worst moments I was sure they will find a way to each other. I kind of wish it was the same with Lucy and Tim. Because, well, that made me continue to wanting to watch Castle, despite Rick being an absolute 5-year-old ass sometimes ;)

Someone here on Tumblr wrote that great series is not about will they do it as it's always about "how they do it" - without breaking major relationships apart etc. Castle is a great example for that and I had that in almost every episode. Pretty much no MCD and it still kept me on edge of my seat for most of the drama!

Castle will be my ultimate reason for the fact that I love watching series in which characters like each other. Be it The Good Place or The Rookie or Castle, I always love exploring relationships and different kind of -ships, where there is very little cheap miscommunication drama and where characters grow without sacrifacing each other. This is one of the best examples. Both for Castle/Becket, Castle/Alexis, Castle/Mom, Ryan/Esposito, Esposito/Lanie, name any relationship there, honestly.

I wish Kevin Ryan had more storylines. Because this Irish undercover episode was one of the best in the whole series with Kevin taking unexpected (but very much in-character) risks and used relationship he created to strengthen himself. I think Kevin is my favorite character, despite being underwritten for like 95% of the time. :D

I wish all Ryan and Esposito and Alexis and Lanie got more storylines. They were wonderful characters ready to be explored and while I understand the characteristics of the show was to explore Castle/Beckett, but sometimes it was just tiring :)

I absolutely loved the concept of the show with repetitive episodes and funny episodes and serious episodes and then (mid)season finales blowing our minds off. The Rookie kind of repeats the same pattern, but short seasons don't really work with that.

It was great how they made the series set in New York by different problems and storylines. I loved all mentions of Broadway, all cases connected to sometimes very crazy things connected to this one-of-a-kind city. And let me just say at the end that my favorite episode was the Old Haunt one. It made me realise how sentiment is a strong part of my husband's personality and how it can be a really lovable and charming thing.

Well yeah. Kudos if you made it that far. And if you did, let me know if you agree :)

[darklinaforever]

Well... People are aware that if some are not happy that Michael becomes Michaela and do not want Sophie to also become an individual of the opposite sex, therefore a man, for Benedict... well that's nothing have with homophobia ?

It's quite simply that we cared and care about these characters that are Michael Stirling and Sophie Beckett ?

Personally, I don't care if Benedict is bi. Who didn't suspect it after season 1 ? It didn't shock me at all.

But it's not because he is confirmed bi that some people should suddenly hope that Sophie becomes a man ?! For what ?! Sophie is a great female character ! And I don't want anyone to touch it ! At this point, I've been waiting for years for the Sophie in the book to meet the Benedict in the show (because I find the one in the book bland...). There is the potential for a great love story !

Look, I really understand the desire for representation, but there are other shows for that if you want !

Limit, if Bridgerton wanted queer characters, they could invent or take secondary characters for that ! Brimsley and Reynolds were excellent ! After all, they fill this show with a pretty unnecessary subplot ! They could have completely made up this type of plot which for the most part would have been much more interesting !

Moreover, Benedict could very well have had adventures with men during seasons 1 and 2 instead of always making him change female partners until making him have a threesome with another man, just before the season or he is supposed to marry a woman. No because if this is supposed to be a real arc of discovery and exploration for Benedict... well that's pretty damn botched.

It's almost like it's basically there to just confirm the suspicions about Benedict's bisexuality that have been there since the beginning of the show. There is no real discovery and really in-depth exploration. It's like it's there just to be there.

Again, it would have been much better, if the goal was really to have Benedict discover more about his sexuality, to see him explore it in previous seasons. Or simply from part 1 of season 3 and not just in part 2 ?

And obviously the people who are super happy about that (which is to their credit even if I don't think it was very well written) some want Sophie to become a man and... I clearly say no.

As much Michael we will say that I can accept it, because it makes (technically) sense since Francesca as a widow will not be obliged to marry again m, and I imagine that in this scenario she will surely succeed in having a son by John / fall pregnant shortly before he died so that she could continue to live peacefully in security and then experience her second romance with Michaela to represent the second chance in true love. On the other hand, I imagine that we will lose all this desire for motherhood that Francesca had in the book which had particularly touched me, but we will see what they will write to compensate. Until then I I really like Francesca from the show after all, so we'll see ! And then, I never deprive myself of a good romance between two women, so if it's done well I would surely appreciate it. But nothing will match Franchael's original story in my heart... They were objectively the best Bridgerton romance, as well as the best book. So it’s a real shame not to see it adapted for the screen.

But the central fact is ; Why touch on central romances for beginning ?

Once again, this has nothing to do with homophobia for the most part, but simply the fact of caring about these characters who basically come from the books.

My god, are you aware that some people who didn't want Michael to change sex or don't want the same thing to happen to Sophie are members of the queer community ?!

The thing is, I really hope Sophie doesn't get changed into a man. She is the best female character in the books for me and I don't want to lose her.

[hopepaigeturner]

Hope's Review of S3: Benedict Bridgerton

Again…a bit of a mixed bag in my opinion. But first...

PANSEXUAL BENEDICT? WE GOT PANSEXUAL BENEDICT? (She screeches at her 2020 self who wrote an entire story around that premise then had to fundamentally rewrite it to make ‘canon’). They delivered?!?

And just as before, I liked moments:

“Love is not finite” speech from Eloise—finally some emotional labour from the boy.

His contribution in the club scenes with Will, Colin, and John Stirling.

I actually liked Tilley. The actress really sold their banter and her personality. Also it merely confirms once again that Benedict likes a bossy girl with convictions. *COUGH* Sophie Beckett*COUGH*

The dinner scene where he stumbled over the question about his art. I think all the acting worked really well.

Again Luke T’s acting is really nuanced and detailed with micro expressions and gestures. He really sold scenes, e.g. when he was talking to Tilley about Paul. Kissing Colin? Perfection! All his gestures and background acting once again were golden.

While I felt the swing scene was a little tacked on, I like when he said “There she is..” when Eloise said she wished to change the world. I think it’s a lovely moment to show how Benedict understands Eloise. He knows she just needed time and space to work it out and return.

However, I do feel that the writing this season, like Benedict himself, felt…lost. No real coherency, no real consistency from prior seasons.

While it was awesome to get pansexual Benedict, if that was the ending then why not have him build a relationship with another man rather than Tilley? While Benedict does sleep around his track record has not been casual--he typically takes one mistress each season, and one that he has a genuine connection with.

If you want to give a storyline justice, have more than one conversation with Paul to show why he’s attracted to Paul. Why stuff it all into one episode? Why make it focus solely on sex?

There are numerous hints about him being the next season. And from that perspective I don’t think this storyline really contributed to that.

E.g. I don’t think we’ve really explored the whole ‘second son thing’ at all.

For me there was a lack of consistency about him & emotional labour. Where was his relationship moments with his siblings? With Francesca?

Apart from one dinner scene we do not get any mention about art. No comment from family about it. No comment from himself. No deflection or even topic arising. And maybe people say the dinner scene is enough, but we literally see no reaction from Benedict after having his heart crushed last season.

All I’m worried about is that they might unveil all this complexity about Benedict (e.g. second son thing) and viewers are gonna be like. Where did that come from?

And it would have been so easy to add this stuff in-literally just an expression or a sentence.

E.g. Second son thing.

Take the scene in Will's club when they're passing around the drink. And Colin says "Are you not the happiest you've been [being adrift]". While Benedict's reaction is funny, I would have loved the camera to linger just a moment longer and show the smile slip. He says this is the happiest, but in actuality?

A couple sentences, even a joke from him or a family member, about him handling the estates. Being the ‘backup’ while Kanthony goes on holiday.

In that convo with Paul and Tilley in bed, why not have Paul crack a joke about second sons?

E.g. Emotional labour.

Why not have him have a chat with Francesca about John. Or a chat with Francesca before her debut. Or hey? Maybe just actually have him interact with his family? The moments when he did were so good!

E.g. Art & Art School

Have Anthony ask about art school, have someone make a comment. And have Benedict just brush it off—his smile a little larger than his usual ones… (and have it in an early episode). Not only would this show how Benedict does not like getting into conflict. Not only does it hint at the pain about art school that will be delved into during his season. But it also shows the front he puts up with his family.

Literally. One. line. One extra exchange.

If you’ve got time for countless other subplots, you’ve got time for a small exchange to help set up your next lead.

But all in all, I’m not fully despairing. I’m just wary for next season. And in the meantime? I've got two years to finish An Offer from an Avid Reader so I'll just lose myself in that.

And do you know what pansexual Benedict also means? A bonus?

Solidifies my head canon of Sophie and Benedict being the artsy, bohemian couple that hosts soirees for all their friends of varying classes and sexualities. Using all that privilege and hoarded Bridgerton wealth to create a refuge for their friends.

[specialagentlokitty]

Beckett x reader - cold love

Staring at the small group in front of you, you laughed slightly, shaking your head.

“Oh hell no.”

“(Y/N) please you’re the only one who fits this guys type.” Beckett said.

“No.”

“Seriously? Not even for free concert tickets?” Castle grinned a little.

“I have money castle I can buy my own no issue.”

Gates sighed and they all turned to her.

“Detective (L/N) you may be the only person who can get close enough to our suspect. We may only have one shot at this.”

You looked at your captain and nodded your head, knowing that this wasn’t a request for you to think about it.

She was telling you that you needed to go undercover.

You were angry about it of course, but you knew there was no arguing in a situation like this.

So, you just went to go and get ready for uncover.

“Can you even dance?” Ryan asked.

“Yeah, I’ve seen you dancing, you’re not good at it.”

You glared at the two men, sticking up your middle finger at them.

“Yes, I can dance. Okay?” You snapped.

You adjusted your blazer and walked into the conference room to adjust your tie and such, and the door was opened and closed.

“We’ll have eyes on you at all times and if anything happens we’ll be right there.” Beckett said.

“That doesn’t make me feel better but thanks I guess.” You grumbled.

Beckett sighed, walking in front of you.

She swatted your hands away from the tie and she began to do it for you.

“I know you don’t like this, but it’s our only hope.”

“Well you better hope he kills me, because I’m so pissed with all of you right now Beckett.”

With that, you snatched the ticket from her hand and marched your way there.

Of course while you were there you spotted everybody immediately, Castle, Beckett, Esposito, Ryan, and a few plain clothed officers scattered around the room.

You were stood where your ticket told you to stand, and you waited patiently.

Of course, as a masked event this would make everything harder, and the dancers couldn’t talk to one another to remain anonymous to everybody.

It was all about swapping dance partners until you found your suspect, and alerting your team.

Every five minutes, a bell would sound, and you swapped to the right.

Beckett was stood at the bar, narrowing her eyes a little as you swapped partners again.

“I really didn’t think (Y/N) could dance.” Castle whispered.

Beckett carefully watched you.

“There’s something about it…”

“What do you mean?” Castle asked.

Beckett glanced at him before she turned her attention back to you.

“Familiar… I’m sure it’s nothing.”

Beckett saw the slight movement of your hand, and nodded her head to castle.

“We’ve got our guy, let’s go before (Y/N) gets hurt.”

Cops slowly to surround you, and before you could do anything there was a knife to your throat.

People ran screaming, and everything seemed to become slow motion and all so fast at the same time.

Shouting.

Guns.

A pain.

Suddenly you were on the floor, gasping for air as you stared up at ceiling, you reached out, grabbing somebody who came over and you pinned them to the ground.

Sitting on them, you stared down, blood hitting their skin.

“You’re okay..” Beckett whispered.

You clenched your jaw a bit.

“I told you I didn’t want to do this.” You hissed.

Slamming her into the ground you stood up, pushing anybody away who tried to help you and you headed to your car.

You drove back to your apartment and went to the bathroom, looking in the mirror.

The wound wasn’t back, it was a cut but nothing serious enough to need hospital attention, you just put a bandaid over it and went to get changed.

You were furious with them for making you go undercover.

They knew why you didn’t want to, but yet you still had no choice, so for days you refused to go into the office.

But you eventually you got bored of being holed up in your apartment and you went to the only place you could think.

The air inside was cold, but it was refreshing for you, it was nice.

Your foot stepped on the ice, and you walked out, taking a deep breath.

“I knew there was a reason your dancing was so familiar.”

You glanced to the edge of the rink.

You pulled the headphones out of your pocket and put them on.

“(Y/N) come on.” Beckett sighed.

She watched as you secured your phone in your pocket and she sighed creating on the edge of the rink.

She was right.

The reason why you seemed so familiar when facing it was because it was.

She had seen you dance before, but she just never realised it was you.

But every single move you made she knew it, she would know what your next move was going to be.

She was in awe as she watched you move with such each, fluid motions.

Beckett smiled a little bit, resting her chin on her arms as she watched you.

When you stopped, she saw you looked at her and she gestured for you to take your headphones off.

You pulled them down and skated over.

“What?”

“This is why you wouldn’t dance, because someone would recognise you right?”

“World famous as a kid, it’s a hard thing to get rid off…” you mumbled.

“Come on, it’s not that back. You were really good you know. i used to want to skate like you do.”

You scoffed a bit.

“It’s not as easy as you think.”

Beckett sighed.

“I’m sorry we made you go undercover, especially after last time. But I want you to know I’ve always got your back.”

“That’s not the point Beckett, I said I didn’t want to! And you still made me!”

You pushed yourself away.

Beckett called out for you and she placed a foot unsurely on the ice.

“Beckett seriously? You’re not even wearing skates.”

Beckett placed another unsure foot on the ice.

“Hey stop before your dumbass falls over.”

Beckett slowly stood up and you realised she was wearing skates, she just couldn’t skate, because you watched her wobble a bit before she fell over.

Sighing, you made your way over and held your hands out to her.

“I’ll be here all night.” She grinned.

She let you help pull her up, and you crossed your arms, skating away from her.

“No! Seriously! Come on!”

“I’m still pissed at you.”

“Don’t leave me stranded I know you love me!”

You made your way back over to her, grabbing her hands and gently pulled her along after you.

“Oh… no.. no.. not away from the sides!”

You laughed a little at Beckett.

“You want a penguin to help you? Maybe a harness?” You taunted.

Beckett slapped your shoulder.

“Just… don’t let me fall over…”

You rolled your eyes a bit.

“No promises.”

Beckett looked at you as you looked behind you to make sure the coast was clear, and she ran her finger along the bandaid in your neck.

“I’m so sorry…” she whispered.

“It’s just a scratch.”

“(Y/N)…”

You turned your eyes to her.

Putting an arm around her waist you moved your other hand to her face, gently running your thumb along her cheek.

“It’s okay…”

“It’s not. You didn’t want to go, we shouldn’t have made you it was wrong, and I’m so sorry.”

Smiling, you placed her head on your shoulder, still skating backwards with her in your arm.

“Kate it’s okay, I’m not angry at you anymore. Gates, sure. But not you.”

Beckett furrowed her brows, lifting her head.

“You’ve been ignoring my calls for days.”

You laughed a little.

“Yeah, I lost my phone somewhere.”

She sighed, shaking her head as little.

“Of course you did.”

Kissing her forehead you smiled softly at her.

“I love you Kate, I couldn’t stay mad at you. But you suck at ice skating.”

“Okay I’m not a world pro like you.” She huffed.

You smiled at her, leaning forward to kiss her before you pulled away.

“I still love you.”

“Good.”

She wrapped her arms around your neck, and you settled yours on her waist.

Beckett smiled softly, placing her forehead on yours.

She knew that you wouldn’t be angry at her for long, but she still felt bad about it, but after everything that had happened between the pair of you she couldn’t bare to even think you would be mad at her even a little bit

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Do you have an example of a well written "will they-won't they" couple ? Cause usually it seems like these type of couples always flop and not just in Miraculous (like I remember the will they-won't they main couples from SVTFOE or Friends also being very divisive within their fandoms).

The Good Place has a couple of good interesting romantic relationships that are drawn out over multiple seasons, but that's a bit of a special case due to spoilers, so we'll go with a couple I can actually talk about instead: Richard Castle (Nathan Fillion) and Katherine Beckett (Stana Katic) from ABC's Castle, an episodic murder mystery show whose premise is summed up pretty perfectly in the opening.

This is the will-they-won't-they that I think of when I say that the love square could have worked if it was a b-plot. Rick and Kate quickly develop a romantic tension between them, but they are first and foremost partners. Multiple episodes will go by without any mention of their potential romance. When it does come up, it's subtle moments and not a major focus of the show because the focus is their partnership and solving mysteries. They are legitimately fun to watch together even if you don't ship them and - as the show progresses- you get this sense of deep love and respect that goes beyond romance.

The show has Rick and Kate date multiple other people to draw out the will-they-won't-they and those alternate romances actually work reasonably well. I never felt like they were just a cheap cop out even though they were mostly there as a delaying tactic. In spite of the fact that the alternate love interests are rarely on screen, they are not presented in the dismissive way that Lukanette and Adrigami were. They're genuine relationships that are used to give Rick and Kate this "right person, wrong time" feeling. It was one of the ways the writers justified dropping the romance b-plot for large swaths of time because Rick and Kate respected each other and their partners. Which was so lovely. I hate cheating plots and, while I think the show did have some occasional moments of tension even though one or both of them were dating, nothing comes to mind as going too far or crossing a line.

Whether or not you like this specific couple is going to be pretty hit-or-miss. Rick is very much a Peter Pan to Kate's serious adult, which works for me because of their professions and backgrounds, but I could see it getting under people's skin. Like them or not, they're still a good template for how to draw out a romance without it getting aggravating. I absolutely think that Ladynoir could have been played the same way. Not only are the personalities a match, but the general type of story matches, too. Castle was a formulaic crime show whose main focus was stopping that week's villain. Every episode stands alone. The only thing that changed over time was the characters and it was incredibly subtle. If Ladynoir had been allowed to be partners first and love interests as a more subtle second, then Miraculous could have been fantastic.

Quick note: I do recommend Castle, but only the first five seasons. Which I can do because it's a true episodic formula show! You can stop those before you get to the end and still feel satisfied! To be clear, you can totally watch the whole show, I don't think it ever gets horrible. Every season has good episodes! It's just that I'm only giving my full stamp of approval to the first five seasons as a cohesive whole. It's been a while since I last watched the show, but I remember that seasons six and eight have really bizarre endings, so I don't feel comfortable giving the entire show a rec.

To end on a positive note, I will say that it's one of the few shows that I can think of where the couple was allowed to get together before the end and it worked because it wasn't that big a change to their relationship. Their established dynamic was one that worked even if they were dating. Their romantic relationship was also pretty darn healthy. There was some weird TV-style drama, but it was all external drama and not internal toxicity because the characters didn't need to add much drama. The weekly mystery plots provided more than enough drama on their own.

[beckettluvr42]

What's your personal hc on what Beckett's mortal life must have been like? Or just any hc that is your fav

I do actually think about Beckett's mortal life sometimes... I imagine he was actually too open, leading to his caginess and secrecy in unlife. Having learned his lesson, so to speak. I also contribute this to the fact that hiding and internalizing his attraction to men in the late 1600s, but that may be a different topic entirely.

I imagine Beckett was lower class, as he was born before the development of a proper middle class, although one technically existed. He was also born in the pre-industrial era, so he was likely very resourceful and generally has skills in making things by hand.

If you do the research, Beckett was both born and embraced during a time of rapid change in Europe. He was there as literacy rates increased, cities were built, and so on, thus he's seen the benefit of knowledge directly. I believe during his mortal life, he ached for knowledge. He wanted learn as much as he could, but was bound to live a short, laborious life if not for his embrace.

I do also think Beckett was apolitical in his mortal life same as his unlife, mainly due to the cards he was dealt, and feeling as if he was better off having no part in things he can't really change. I think he just spent most of his mortal life doing what he had to do to just get by, with Vampirism opening up avenues for him to do what he's always wanted. This to me, may be why he doesn't entirely see it as a curse.

As for other headcanons, I've always really appreciated the headcanon of Beckett being trans. I find it very easy to empathize with, as in the changing name, hiding pasts, so on. I think if there's a character it fits with very well, it would be him.

A personal headcanon of mine is that he's somewhat embarrassed of some of his bestial features, or anything he does that's "dog-like". Like when you ask him how he smelled all that in Bloodlines and he's like "what? so what?". Which is funny because I don't know if he realizes how not subtle he is about them. I mean, come on, there's a big ass wolf in the middle of LA. I also seem to recall him howling when he runs away from you in Bloodlines. I basically like to imagine him thinking "I'm not like other gangrel, I'm normal." and getting slightly offended when you point out his obvious beast behaviors. :3

MY SECOND ASK!!! thank you so much!! this one was so fun. I hope it's accurate, twas off the top of my head.

[agattthaa]

Promise?

Paring: Beckett Harrington/Eli (F!MC)

Word Count: 1.544

Summary: In the middle of what could be the end of everything, the only thing she could trust was Beckett.

I miss him so impossibly much, so I am posting this old thing.

The heavy door closed behind her back and she simply stood still while Beckett paced around the room, looking at the large bookcases searching for god knows what.

She didn't need to know him as well as she did to know that he was doing his best to hide what he was feeling and she didn't want to think about the fact that he was doing it for her.

He was always like that ever since she knew him. Always trying to hide anything negative that could ever come from him. Any defect, any weakness, any bad feeling.

Once he had told her that Katrina was a very positive person, always being optimistic in face of any difficulty, and that it was something that his parents deeply appreciated and complemented her about.

Either she was a saint or Becketts's family really was perfect, that she didn't know, what she did know was that he was about to create a hole in the ground considering how much he paced around those bookshelves.

Surely books were capable of teaching very important things, but Eli really doubted that he would find a “How to defeat a psychopath child murdered 101” in this small room, or anywhere really.

He turned around to look at her when she gave a tired sigh, more nervous than he had been the entire night, which only made her sigh deeper.

-You are going to make a hole in the ground, Beckett. Just sit down.

-I just need to find a book that can perhaps help us, Eli. Everything is alright.

She simply pointed towards the big armchair, looking at him, almost pleading.

-Please.

And he simply followed the instructions, as always, unable to deny any of her requests. She simply followed him, sitting down sideways on his legs and burying her head on the juncture between his neck and his shoulder, slowly breathing him in.

-We should be getting ready.

She took her head from it’s hiding place when she heard his voice, the sadness crept into her face until she saw the red tinting his cheeks.

-Do you not like it? Should I get up?

His only answer at that moment was to place his hand on the small of her back and pull her closer to him, making her give him a smirk and making his cheeks almost maroon.

Perhaps they should have changed before going there, her dress was not making her very comfortable while she was almost laying on his legs, her torso completely rested on his and her legs above the armchair’s arms. Still, the way he softly ran his fingers up and down her back gave her all the comfort she could ever need.

-I will never not like having you on my arms, Eli. I just believe one of those books are bound to help us. Even if there's just a magick that helps to calm you down a little, I know that I have actually done something good.

-There’s no need for any spells or anything of the sort. You are calming me down just fine. -He placed his hand on her cheek, making her rest her face into it almost like a cat, closing her eyes and completely leaning into his touch. -I don't think you understand how much you mean to me, Beckett.

-That's utter nonsense. If anything, it's more likely you are the one unaware.

-Then tell me.

-Eli…

She opened her eyes, honey golden meeting metal gray. She could see that he didn't want to talk about it, at least not now, because she could see his eyes apprehensivily looking towards the bookcases and into her eyes again. He leaned forward, kissing her on her small elevation on her nose a little under the middle point between her eyes.

-Do you not wish to talk about it when we come back? It'll be another reason to return.

She placed her hand on his face, rubbing her thumb against his cheeks and counting his freckles, maybe for the last time.

-I don't know if we'll have the opportunity to talk about this after now. -She placed her thumb over his lips when she noticed that he was about to interrupt her. -He is the most powerful attuned in the world. Capable of controlling life and death. It would be too optimistic of me to assume that we'd simply win that easily over him. That's why I have something to ask you.

She looked deeply into his eyes, her finger still on his lips, but she was no loger leaning against him. Now her back was perfectly aligned and straight. He simply nodded to her making her give him a sad smile.

-I will do my very best to kill that psycho and comeback. But if I'm unable to, I want you to grab Atlas and our friends and run.

He looked at her completely unsettled and shaked his head, taking her hand from his face and holding it on hers.

-Do you take me as such a weak man that I'll watch the woman I love dying and then ran away?

She wanted to cry. To melt on his arms. To run away from all of this. She wished to wake up from that nightmare. To wake up on her bed covered by her thinck blankets and by him while she listened Atlas very loud snores coming from Shreya's room.

But she couldn't.

She'd never know peace until that man was dead, and Zeph needed them. It was her fault he was taken and she would pay for it.

-No. I think you are the strongest and most resourceful besides Atlas and me. But there's one thing that you are more than the two of us. Logical, rational and the one more capable of keeping your feelings in check. Atlas isn't. If I die, that will break her. That's why I am asking you that. Because you are the one I love, the one I trust the most, the one who also has a sister that he loves. That's why I'm asking you to save my little sister, my only blood family who's alive, and the friends that we love so much. Please, Beckett. Please.

His eyes glistened with tears that he refused to let run. The ones that carried grief for the woman that was still breathing into his arms.

He kissed her face all around. Her forehead, her eyes, her temple, her cheeks and her lips before pulling apart to look into her eyes.

-You will survive, Eli Russel Sollaris. We will finish the year and my grades will be so much bigger than yours that you will loose you spot as favorite from all the professors. -She let out a wet laugh to that, clearly remembering his face when Professor Englund called her his favorite student in front of him. -Then we'll get our vacation and I'll get myself one of those tuneless cephphones so we can talk during the entire summer, because I cannot even stand the thought of spending a day on my life not hearing your voice. I will introduce you to my family and I also want to meet yours, because anyone important to you is also important to me. Then we will comeback to here, and I'll hold you hand and kiss you all the time and put curses to anyone that looks at you for too long. And I will sleep every single day with you on my arms and wake up to your kisses. Forever.

The tears streamed down her face, and he kissed every single one of them away while the smile on her lips came back to life. The first time it had happened ever since Zephyr had been taken.

-That sounded too much like a proposal for two people that are not even dating yet, Harrington.

He smirked at her, rubbing his thumb on her cheek.

-Funny you saying that, because a little bird told me that you called me your boyfriend in front of some students in Professor Kontos’ class.

-Would you say that little bird is about 1.63cm tall and insanely rich?

-I would say that that little bird said that you were almost green with jealousy and that the little bird was scared that you were going to throw a fireball at someone.

-Nonsense, I only do that to you.

He let out a loud laugh, hugging her closer to him and rubbing his nose against her cheek.

-You should know that you have no reason to be jealous. That I am completely yours. Your friend. Your boyfriend. Anything you want from me Eli. Anything.

She rested herself on him again, placing her head on his shoulder and sighing.

-Do you promise then?

His silence only lasted a couple seconds, but it felt like an eternity. The entire room felt cold as he sighed and rested his own head above hers.

-I promise you, Eli. I promise that… if it gets down to it, I'll comply to your wish.

She smiled to herself, knowing that he couldn't see it, and hugged him closer.

-I love you, nerd.

-And I love you a lot more, my sunlight.

And then, they parted towards an inescapable future.

[alrightsnaps]

hey!! i'm starting the rokesby series (i'm on book two) and i love them so far, what's your raking of those books?

i just love see u in my dashboard💕

i love seeing you in my dashboard too!! 💕💕

the rokesby series is pretty good, on the whole i'd say it's much better than the bridgerton one (individual bridgerton books are great, but as a series julia quinn's later efforts, like the smythe-smith quartet and the rokesbys are an improvement imo).

my number one is definitely book 3, the other miss bridgerton. it's witty and fun and a nice change from the usual ballroom and house party settings. number 2 is billie and george's story in because of miss bridgerton, i love how it feels like a slight homage to kathony. i can't really pick a favourite between books 2 and 4 tbh... most people would probably rank the girl with the make believe husband (book 2) last i suppose, but personally i have a soft spot for it and the fmc, cecelia, gives me sophie beckett vibes. in any case, if you enjoyed the first book and the return to aubrey hall, you'll love it started with a scandal (book 4). it's another bridgerton/rokesby match, and much of it takes place in aubrey hall and crake house. the family scenes are my favourite part, i love how close the bridgertons and the rokesbys are. edmund, violet and baby anthony, bridgerton and colin also make an appearance!

[boyswillbebutch]

Graghh ok so I don't want to dump this all in Jay's inbox so uh @butchgrantcurly have a jadele frantic fanfic both me and @koymoa wrote a couple weeks ago cuz it haunts me/pos

ITLE: Burnt apologies FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: janette biswar, adele beckett WRITERS: laurie, quill, laurie, quill RATED ALL AGES Janette carefully patched up the small blue wounds on her arms, pulling flower petals from them with a wince. Esther's book had never said anything about this, but then again, a lot of pages were missing. After cleaning up the foliage off her sink, she made her way down the hallway, head spinning. Her days just consisted of finding more flowers, pulling them off her skin and patching them up. A change of routine would be nice. You just have to be alive for only one more month, Janette thought bitterly. What a cursed way to live. Sinking down on the couch, she covered her face, trying to calm down her raging headache.

If only she could give this pain to Adele, that'd save her a lot of work. Through her headache, she heard a knock on the door but couldn't get herself to care about it. It was probably Maria coming home-

_________________________________________________________

She heaved her feet to the door, Janette cringed at the thought that the "Hello" mat was still at the front of the porch was too welcoming for anything. Especially after everything she went through. She opened the door and saw long locks of blonde hair, and those piercing blue eyes that was a labyrinth to get out of. Janette eyes twitched as she glared at the women with a mixture of emotions that even she didn't know. Anger mostly but holy fuck she was beautiful. Stop She thought to herself pushing away those emotions. Janette just scoffed as she closed the door. It didn't though. A calloused pale hand held the edge trying to break the distance, trying to re-build the scorched bridge. "Wait"

"What?" Janette leaned against the door. "What do you want? What do you want to say? I don't want you to say anything. You've hurt me and your husband enough, why don't you leave me alone. You didn't even tell me about him. I don't even love you. JUST LEAVE" Janette's face scrunched in anger, she raised her voice, she shouldn't, she doesn't.

____________________________________________________________

"You practiced that one, I can tell." Adele said, dismissal tone stabbing Janette in her already aching heart. "I've had a lot of time to think about what to say to you-now do you want something or can you get the fuck off my porch?" Janette felt more flowers creep up her skin, probably caused by emotions now that she thought about it. Adele noticed, reaching out to touch them. Janette smacked her hand away, hating herself for wanting her to continue. "You're very confident for someone who killed me," Adele held up her hands in mock self defense, gasping a little. "It was an accident-" "Burning down an entire building when it was just me inside was an accident?" Janette couldn't stop her voice from cracking a little. Either Adele was a terrible gaslighter or she'd gaslight herself into thinking it'd been an accident.

"Does Josh know? Does he know his partner is a criminal? Oh and a cheater of course," She added the last part sarcastically. Adele was looking at her with too much affection and she grabbed the doorhandle, prepared to close it to stop both of them.

_______________________________________________________

"Look I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to actually kill you…" She pleaded, her words not meeting her the light in her eyes. Janette snickered at her apology. "As if." "I'm know what you think about me, but I'm seriously not am a bad person, I really thought that he wouldn't find out or you being like this. If I did I would have stopped at 'hello'" Adele rambled her hand going through her hair, pacing around the not so 'welcome' mat. She then stopped and held Janette's face "you know me hun." "Not enough obviously." There was no warmth, no connection, nothing. She let her hold her face for a while, not like she hated it anyway. "The only reason why I don't call the police and file a restraining order or worse, because some people out there think I'm dead." Janette yelled out dead a bit more louder than she should have which made her cringe a little on the inside, but she didn't want her to see any vulnerability. "Next time you show up on my porch, I swear on my kid's life that you will hurt you Adele Beckett" Janette took a step forward glaring at her with all hatred from each generation and each church before her. Adele sighed, she waved her hand dismisively as she moved into the distance. "Fine, see you later" That sentence felt both like a threat or a promise, Janette didn't like the sound of that. After much struggle and back and forward she finally closed the door. Her back slid against the door. "I really need to move"