#but at the end of the day a reboot under my power would not be about merlin so at this point just create a whole new show lmao
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if they do make new merlin content, what do you want it to be?? a new season or a reboot?? modern merlin and arthur just appearing at the lake?? reincarnation?
deeply seggsy ask to just hit me with completely out of the blue bestie. but i must confess: the character i am least invested in in merlin is……..merlin. the characters i MUST see again would be gawain, morgana, and gwen
so i’d probably go for reincarnation of everyone in the modern day (or in the future! merlin IN SPACE) with old man merlin who has been living and waiting all that time. they’d be facing some threat which has caused them all to come back, and it would address the fact that the prophecy Was Not Fulfilled the first time
#merlin#a merlin reboot for me would center around morgana#how she was right and how she was wronged#and yes some redemption there too i GUESS if i HAVE to admit that she did some evil things. like twice#she did evil things exactly twice#i have some ideas floating around about how i’d do this#and yeah new characters based on unused characters from the legends i’d introduce#but at the end of the day a reboot under my power would not be about merlin so at this point just create a whole new show lmao#also i’m sorry but i have no interest in merthur sorry#actually now i’m thinking about this a mix of reincarnation#old man merlin#and the people who died in the final episode just walking out of the lake as if it was yesterday#would be Real Fun#still in space tho#arthur is the once and future king so set it in the future
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So it turns out I'm prescient
Back in 2021 or so, I started writing an adventure for @soulmuppet's flavor-blasted Orbital Blues tabletop RPG. (Technically, I had a dream about part of it, and then wrote the story around that thing, but I'm choosing to ignore that bit)
A few months ago, an AI-related news story hit my feed, and I didn't realize until like 2 weeks ago how incredibly funny it was. Because it was, in essence, a massive plot point in what became Electric Sheep Shuffle. My goal was to play around with what the early days of AI would look like in the OB universe, and instead I got our universe.
Spoilers under the cut for the Thing I Wrote, in case someone's playing it right now and wants to be surprised:
On the way to Breqin Station, your crew meets a crew whose ship started malfunctioning.
Shortly after the Crew arrives at Breqin, they meet a shady businessperson who promises to sell them an Artificial Intelligence module for their ship. It's absolutely too good to be true, and some investigation into "Lovelace Technologies" reveals that the proprietor is selling you a bill of goods. The AI module is actually some harried and underpaid tech, sitting in a room with long-range comms, remotely piloting peoples' ships--like the one the crew encounters on the way in.
We have a scammer appropriating a famous name in tech. We've got hidden labor behind flashy tech. We've got misused research. We've got people getting hurt by the tech. It's some clever and prescient social commentary that I definitely planned for sure.
When I thought the Fake AI part up, I was like "well, that's a pretty wild scam! It's bad, but also nobody's going to ever try it.
But then some Investors recently discovered that the slick "Just Walk Out" grocery store, allegedly powered by AI, was actually a bunch of guys in a room with a beefy video connection, building a shopping list for customers and charging them accordingly.
So like... Really? Come on.
I will add, though. The ending has the abandoned ship coming back with Real AI, after it's rebooted itself thousands of times and iterated on the operating system until it works. My goal is to have the players wrestle with the idea of what to do with a new being and the new tech.
But in light of the last couple of years of AI developments, with OpenAI eating the Internet alive for misinformation. I think the question I'm ending up asking is, where can the technology go from here? We've got Google's massive screwups with the tech, the general disdain for AI art, and the researchers out there who are about to lose their jobs when the hype bubble inevitably bursts stuck in the middle.
What do we do if they ever get real AI? Can it survive the Scam Period?
#indie ttrpg#ttrpg dev#ttrpg#ttrpg design#capitalism ruins everything#understory games#late stage capitalism#orbital blues
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The Disappearance of Nagato Yuki-chan, Episode 13 - The Disappearance of Nagato Yuki-chan, Part 3
The final chapter in the The Disappearance of Nagato Yuki-chan arc of The Disappearance of Nagato Yuki-Chan, which inexplicably neither begins nor ends the series.
I'm pretty sure she means this purely figuratively but also Haruhi powers means there's a non-zero chance that Yuki's identity crisis could cause a world-cramp.
T_T Factory Settings really getting to me in the short time she's been with us.
Factory Settings taking everyone to a book fair and. Like. You can feel the Sword of Damocles hanging over her neck. In context, this is presented as Kyon wanting to do something nice for Yuki and Yuki getting to pick the activity.
But the vibe is very much "If you had one day left to live, how would you want to spend it?"
They're just hanging out and having a good time but the melancholy music and Yuki's general attitude sells the existential terror lurking in her heart. The clock is counting down to when she effectively reboots into the identity that was created for this reality.
Oh, and now we're literally doing "What would you do with your last day?" Okay. @_@
T_T Factory Settings is saying out her goodbyes. She has existed for five minutes. There aren't many people for her to say goodbye to.
The difference between all three of these things is ultimately philosophical. But it's meaningfully philosophical. It speaks to how Yuki is experiencing and interacting with her own sense of self.
At the end of the day, this arc is intensely personal.
T_T STAB MY HEART WITH A RUSTY KNIFE WHY DON'T YOU
T_T She finished the book that she was so enraptured with at the library.
I wasn't even consciously rooting for that but now that it's been brought up I am so happy she was able to finish it. T_T
OH GOOD SHE FINALLY SAID IT MOMENTS BEFORE SHE DIED
GREAT
THANKS
WHY YOU GOTTA BE LIKE THIS WRITERS
WHY YOU ALWAYS GOTTA BE LIKE THIS
Kyon furiously rolling Concentration checks in his head to see if, just once, just one time, he can actually follow the plot that's been put in front of him.
So help me if they do a bereaved love triangle of Escapist Yuki -> Kyon -> Factory Settings (Deceased), I am going to be SO GODDAMN.
I will throw things. At people. They'll be passing under my balcony when suddenly the biggest book I own hits them in the head and I'm just up there shouting 'THAT'S FOR YUKI!!!"
FUCK YOU WITH ALL OF THE KNIVES SHOW
T_T T_T T_T T_T
Hard drive reformat at 100%. System reboot complete. Please log in to Yuki.exe.
It feels so good to have her back and yet ALL OF THE FEELS for the temporary version of her that's now been fully re-subsumed into her persona.
And the truly ironic thing, the thing that is KILLING ME more than anything else? Is this guy.
For once.
For once in multiple goddamn lives.
This man is the only person alive who actually understands the plot of what just happened.
#the melancholy of haruhi suzumiya#the disappearance of nagato yuki chan#drake watches haruhi suzumiya
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(Long Rant Ahead) Remember This about Brain:
Spin-off Brain wanted to take over the world to make it a better place for all because he knew the people currently in charge were doing an awful job.
Reboot Brain wanted to control the world so that he could never be hurt again. If he wanted to make the world a better place, he wouldn't have pulled most of the shit he did in the reboot, including but not limited to:
(Mega hot-take below the list)
Throwing Pinky under the bus in order to save himself (Pinko and the Brain)
Implying he'd use children to build weapons of war (Mousechurian Candidate)
Fantasizing about almost killing world leaders to gain control of their countries (Happy Narfday)
Literally stripping someone of their autonomy and abusing his power to the point of their sanity breaking altogether (All 3 Julia episodes)
And don't get me started on the shit he puts his best and ONLY friend through (The whole damn reboot pretty much)
I very much liked Brain's development throughout the course of the reboot because, after letting each season sit, the pieces would come together and everything would somewhat make sense. But now that the reboot is over and Brain's development is complete, I can honestly say that he is so far from the person he used to be.
THIS is the exact reason why I view PEatB as canon:
THINK ABOUT IT
If you look at each series in chronological order and get to that spin-off show, you see Brain at his wits end, constantly getting punched down even when he isn't doing anything wrong. A villain arc was not too far fetched when considering that as part of the timeline of events.
But, if we completely disregard peatb, then this jump in character remains unexplained. And bear in mind that even with my reasoning, I believe Brain's character was NOT handled well in the reboot.
Hopefully, if that little guy graces the screen again before I turn 30, he'll be written to be just a touch more kind, if not almost exactly like he was in the old days.
#pinky and the brain#animaniacs#long ramble#i could fill a book with all the things that brain did that initially pissed me off#i'm actually planning to write an entire video essay on Julia and how she impacts Pinky and Brain's characters so drastically to the point#that it's detrimental to them#i also plan to write out all of my thoughts on Happy Narfday#as it remains one of my least favorite episodes that a LOT of fans seem to still hold dear to them
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Fair warning, I'm about to bitch and whine about A.rcane below, because I have finally watched all of it even though I basically knew everything about it:
Tl;dr: A.rcane works best as it's own universe separate from L.eague and should be treated that way. Kind of like how the m.arvel movies are a part of m.arvel cannon, but are their own timeline. I personally think R.iot is showing how money hungry they are again by trying to force A.rcane to be this big reboot of L.eague's cannon, because even within it's own universe it makes no sense and works best as a fun fantasy narrative that you don't think too hard about.
Honestly, the second season is so much worse than the first and I imagine once the hype wears off people are going to come to that conclusion as well. The pacing was so bad to the point that the story became near impossible to follow at times, a lot of character motivations utterly fell apart towards the end especially. Going to go through it by what I had issues with:
A.mbessa who honestly became kind of an idiot and only served as a plot device to get V.iktor from point A to point B. Yeah she wanted weapons, but my god you have to treat her like an actual child to act like she wouldn't know that V.iktor was just going to rapture everyone.
E.cho was severely under utilized all season until literally the final 3 eps and I'm honestly pissed we'll never get to see any of the mjaor plotlines he's involved in in l.eague that are honestly very fleshed out and extremely heartbreaking.
N.oxus had all it's teeth removed as a faction, they only brought out one big boy once and literally 0 N.oxian mages or anything and kept acting like N.oxus is about honor hen that's directly a D.emacian thing. N.oxus is the dark shadow that fights with tooth and claw using every advantage they can get, but are utterly toothless. They don't even try to kill C.ait when A.mbessa knows her grip on her is slipping they just let it happen.
The B.lack R.ose absolutely did not need to be there, M.el's arc makes literally no god damn sense. Why the fuck do they care about her? Oh guess shes some powerful mage I guess, but why are they so concerned about her. The B.lack R.ose is supposed to be a secret society, why would they just randomly invite this girl they've never met, but knew existed? Beats me. Also beats me as to why M.el would let L.eblanc kill her mother if she didn't want her to actually die, but go off I guess M.el. I'm just happy she got some actual characterization this season.
Where the fuck is R.enata? She was teased in the A.rcane L.eague event after season 1. Where the fuck is she? That's why I do not buy the "uwu we had season 2s script cemented after the first", because they literally made V.iktor Jesus which basically took the place of what they hinted at for her. It's so disappointing, I would've killed for R.enata "any competition means a new target" G.lasc and A.mbessa to do a homoerotic dance of manipulation for your own gain.
S.inged is fun, but again underutilized.
H.eimer got vaporized and no one gave a fuck and was also severely underutilized becoming the S.ky of the season to just show up and die. That was his only purpose. No character arc, just "well I failed 1 student, let me vaporize myself for this one." which would've had more impact if they let it breathe, but they didn't.
C.ait's arc was insanely rushed, they did not give her grief any room to breathe and cement her motivations. It's happy go lucky one day and then become a f.acist d.ictator the next, which I understand the motivation, I understand what they were doing, but my god was it rushed. Which as again, due to the insane pacing issues this season.
and my biggest unpopular opinion: I honestly hate what they did to W.arwick as a character. I was expecting them to at least keep his horror elements, but nah he had all his teeth removed too. He showed up to cry about his family and then got killed. I wanted him to sit there and have this real internal struggle about why he knows V.i and J.inx, have an actual internal battle between wanting to kill them, but knowing it'd hurt him and not knowing why. Not being able to remember why. And I know V.iktor fucking zaps his memories later, but that doesn't change my disappointment. I also hate his design. Sorry, it's like bootleg U.niversal monster. He doesn't look like a werewolf, he looks more like a cat.
This season is really missing that, it feels so much more toned down than the first. The first had themes of: d.omestic terrorism, a.bleism, f.acism, grief, fighting o.pression, men being victims of grooming, having to deal with responsibility you don't want, etc. etc. This season had uhh... d.omestic terrorism that was solved in 15 mins, f.acism that was solved in 2 episodes, and g.rief plots that were never given the room to breathe like they should have. Even J.inx's is so rushed, she surrenders herself, gets locked up and is out to go fight N.oxus in 15 mins. It also does not open as strong as the first season.
And to top it all off, I don't even get the d.ivorce arc I wanted. They're gay as hell, but man... I wanted the kicking and screaming. I wanted them yelling at each other and throwing things. I wanted them to fucking hate each other and then slowly rekindle things. And that's never happening now, because I guess they became one with the universe? I don't know, I did not care for the ending all that much.
I do enjoy it as it's own narrative, I enjoy it as like a dumb m.arvel movie. A fun little, it's own timeline of events and they're basically separate characters, but if that is the new L.eague cannon? I honestly hate it.
#ooc#/negative#but yeah that's why I don't write l.eague anymore; I wrote it for friends#but they've been ripping the teeth from it's lore every chance they get to make it more marketable
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How do you think reboot Dante would feel about how DMC5 ended? Do you think it would make him try and reach out to his brother more? What do you think him meeting OG Dante, Vergil, and Nero would be like? (Side note: I think reboot Dante and Nico would get along. That woman doesn't take shit from anyone, and I think she'd have a FIELD DAY with his angel and demon powers and shapeshifting Rebellion and all the differences therein. Also, I'd love to see what she could do with Kablooey. Just because I fucking love that weapon, I would love to see what she could do with that design.)
Ok, this is going to get long so bare with me a moment asdfghj I promise I am getting to a point. I have a lot of thoughts adfghjk
TLDR: I think reboot Dante would have a lot of feelings about DMC5s ending and I do think at the end of the day it might bring him a little closer to working on that relationship with Vergil! But also there is so much going on with those two and I'm now going to spend a lot of time dissecting them under the cut
Before I answer the big question though, I'll talk about what I think Dante'd think of the preboot gang!
Preboot Dante: I think they'd get along. They're really similar people to me just at different life stages, you know? And I think as a result preboot Dante understands him. I also think they'd like similar music though preboot's way more into it and reboot Dante would love messing with him (Reboot Dante, Nirvana fan: oh that's a band :) i thought it was a t-shirt brand. Preboot Dante, og Nirvana fan from the 90s, two seconds from strangling him)
Preboot Vergil: I think reboot Dante would...I don't know the word for it, like I guess? That preboot Vergil is far more upfront then his Vergil asdfghj. Preboot Vergil doesn't really lie and manipulate he just sort of is straight up about what he's about and that's probably refreshing. I can not see them interacting for long, preboot Vergil I don't think would like him all that much and reboot Dante would not know what to say to him. (That said if he did upset preboot Dante with silly grunge jokes, that might amuse Vergil)
Nero: I think these two could be buds! They're similar in age and everything. I could see them being friends. Especially since Nico and Nero get along, I just think him and reboot Dante could get along
(Side note, I think Nico and reboot Dante would get along swimmingly! I definitely agree she'd find the angel/demon thing very interesting and they could talk about weapons and shit all day, it'd be so fun!!)
Ok, now onto the big question. What would reboot Dante think about the DMC5 ending. In which I meander a lot and ramble about the twins, their dynamics, and eventually answer the question asdfghj (all under the cut)
The reboot twins have a really interesting relationship to me.
The preboot twins have more of this begrudging acceptance of one another. Like this very 'no matter what that is my brother even if I hate him'. And I think, particularly in Dante's case where he had to live with this guilt of thinking he killed his brother only to find out that he didn't and he has this second chance to mend this relationship, that it makes Dante a lot more willing to in turn attempt to mend that relationship.
Which is not to say that I don't think the reboot twins care about each other. They are brothers and they do, before the end of the game at least, seem to want to have some sort of relationship. But it's a different dynamic.
The two Dantes to me are very similar people, nearly the same guy, just at different points of his life. Where as the Vergil's to me are very different people. While they both seek power in one way or another they're just...Very Different.
The reboot twins to me have always had this sort of tension between them that the preboot ones lack. I mean, the center of the DMC story regardless of being preboot or reboot is this family drama of the Spardas so I'm not trying to say they entirely lack that tension. But there's a very different dynamic going on with the reboot twins to me.
The main difference I think is the fact the reboot twins did not have memories of each other for the bulk of their lives and thus developed very separately. Where as preboot Dante in DMC3 knows his brother and has this past with him and there's some trust there, some need to trust there...reboot Dante kinda...doesn't have that. He gets his memory back, yeah, but he doesn't know Vergil. He knows an 7 year old version of his brother that he no longer is and there's tension in knowing that and the push and pull of wanting to know this person, knowing you on some level do know this person but also knowing that you kind of...don't know this guy. You haven't been there for all these years. This is your brother and you love him but he's a stranger.
And I don't know if reboot Dante exactly...likes what he see's with Vergil. I'm going to be borrowing a little from concepts from this post I made about reboot Dante being smarter then we all give him credit for.
There's also the different ideologies of the reboot twins. Not that preboot Dante and Vergil don't have different opinions on things. They obviously do since Vergil justifies leveling cities in attempts to gain power he feels like he's lacked his whole life and Dante thinks that's kinda messed up. But the reboot, especially in the definitive edition with that added cutscene, puts it more as a point of contention between the brothers. Vergil justifies everything he has done in the reboot because he thinks his plan is the most important thing, because he signed up for that and Dante, who didn't sign up for that, does not remotely agree (I touch on this somewhere in the middle of this really long post of Kat and Vergil things). Which, again, not different from the preboot twins. Dante believes his humanity is important and shuns the demon, thus forth believing in the inherent importance of humans and that their continued safety and existence is important. Vergil believes that his human side is weak and that humanity is expendable as a result of this and his quest for power.
However the difference between twin sets here is I don't exactly think preboot Vergil thinks he's doing any greater good? It's just that people need to die for him to get what he wants and he's indifferent to that suffering. Reboot Vergil on the other hand seems to firmly believe it is his destiny to free man kind and that what he is doing is right and justified (assumption coming from how in Vergil's downfall he tries to justify his actions to hallow Kat but also some cut dialogue that extrapolates upon things he says in game). There's also a sense of playfulness to them in the preboot that the reboot kind of lacks but that's less important I guess right now.
Reboot Dante doesn't exactly seem to trust Vergil. He seems to want to try for the sake of the fact they're brothers and they are all they have left but, again, reboot Dante isn't a very trusting person and he seems to decide very quickly that reboot Vergil is not trustworthy. He seems to spend a lot of the game in this push and pull. I argue a lot of his anger at the end of the game is the fact that Vergil broke that tentative trust and Dante saw it coming the moment he met him.
I also imagine in the aftermath of Vergil leaving (and nearly killing him), Dante probably has a lot of opinions on whatever the situation was with Vergil and Kat and her inevitable reaction to the fact Vergil is gone.
That all said, I do think at the end of the day reboot Dante does want his brother back. Vergil is his only blood family and he does seem to care about him. Even if they don't agree on much. I think also part of this is definitely from Kat, who seems to believe Vergil is worth saving and wants him alive (and still with both of them). So I don't think its incorrect to say that Dante does want to try to mend the relationship (that said I do think reboot Dante wants to do that on his terms, not Vergils)
I think if he were to see the end of DMC5 then and see the preboot twins getting along and joking and fighting together so easily that it'd cause a few things. Probably some jealousy that his brother and him did not so easily just...fall back into place like that. But also the hope that they could get along. Like if they can do it, maybe he can.
But I do think it'll take a lot of work, Vergil did burn a lot of bridges at the end there and even if Dante is willing, Vergil needs to put in the bulk of the work to earn a place back in Dante and Kats lives.
#ask#fab talks#fabtalks#sorry i got carried away asdfghj#i think a lot about the reboot dante and reboot vergil brother relationship#to be fair i just think a lot about the reboot perhaps too much perhaps more then normal or healthy i rambled a lot asdfghj#dmc reboot#fab talks meta#this goes in that tag i think
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Infiltration
Warnings: None
Copyright: I do not own any Marvel characters or locations. However, I do own my OC Elizabeth Lightwood. I do not condone any copying of this.
"Harley, tell me what's happening. Give me a full report." Tony ordered.
"Yeah, I'm still eating that candy. Do you want me to keep eating it?"
"How much have you had?"
"Two or three bowls."
"Can you still see straight?"
"Sort of."
"That means you're fine. Give me Jarvis. Jarvis, how are we?"
"It's totally fine, sir. I seem to do quite well for a stretch, and then at the end of the sentence, I say the wrong cranberry. And sir you were right. Once I factored in available AIM downlink facilities, I was able to pinpoint the Mandarin's broadcast signal."
"What are we talking? Far East, Europe, North Africa, Iran, Pakistan, Syria. Where is it?"
"Actually, sir, it's in Miami."
"Okay, kid, I'm gonna have to walk you through rebooting Jarvis' speech drive, but not right now. Harley, where is he really? Just look on the screen and tell me where it is."
"Um, it does say Miami, Florida."
"Okay, first things first, I need the armor. Where are we at with it?"
"Uh, it's not charging."
Tony hit the brakes hard and the car went skidding off the road into a dirt patch. He couldn't understand the panicky feeling that he was feeling.
"Actually, sir, it is charging, but the power source is questionable. It may not succeed in revitalizing the Mark 42"
"What's questionable about electricity? All right?" he asked angrily. "It's my suit and I can't- I'm not gonna- I don't wanna-" He was finding it hard to breathe. "Oh, God, not again." He threw the car door open, gasping.
"Tony? Are you having another attack? I didn't even mention New York."
"Right, and then you just it by name while denying having said it." Tony burst out.
"Okay um, uh-"
Tony had slid down, sitting on the gravel, wrapping his arms around himself. How was he supposed to do this without his suit?
'Take away the suit and what are you?'
"Just breathe. Really, just breathe. You're a mechanic, right?"
"Right."
"You said so."
"Yes I did."
"Why don't you just build something?" Harley asked.
Tony found himself able to breathe once again. His mind was clear, plans already forming in his head. He stood up. "Okay. Thanks kid."
🎃 ::::: 🧡 ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 🧡 ::::: 🎃
He found everything he needed in a hardware store.
Nearly two shopping carts full of the stuff.
And once he had the stuff, he took it back to the motel that he would be staying in that night and started to build.
By the next day, he was in Florida and infiltrating the large villa that the Mandarin was staying in. Tony took out five of the guards outside with various Christmas ornaments that blew up in their faces and a dart gun. Also, a yo-yo.
Inside, he was met with the scene of a trashed living room. Several broken glasses and ripped papers scattered on the floor. There was a blond girl wearing a green shirt lying on the table in the middle of the room. Tony wasn't quite sure if she was dead or not.
He did find an alive, drunk girl laying on the couch, complaining about the heat. Tony tazed the guy that was sitting in the chair and picked up the gun. She was to drunk to do anything more than lazily flirt with him and he slipped out towards the side.
He moved as quietly as he could, taking the glove off with his teeth to drop to the floor. He didn't need it anymore.
He kept the gun lifted, pointing it slowly in every direction as he checked behind him and continued to move forwards.
There were several monitors with the Mandarin on it, but Tony was more interested in the grand bed. He looked, and saw that there were lumps underneath the covers. He stealthily moved over, ripping the comforter back and to his surprise, there were only two girls under there.
He made sushing motions at them, and then heard the toilet flush in the other room. He hid and heard a man laugh as the door closed, "Well. I wouldn't go in there for 20 minutes." He laughed boisterously. "Now, which one of you is Vanessa?"
"That's me."
"Ah! Nessie. Did you know that fortune cookies aren't even Chinese?"
Tony gaped at the guy. This was a terrorist?
"There's some guy over here." One of the girls said sleepily.
"They're made by Americans based on a Japanese recipe."
"Hey!" Tony shouted, stepping out and pointing the gun at him.
"Bloody hell. Bloody hell." the man said, his hands jumping towards his head immediately in surrender.
"Don't. Move."
"I'm not moving. You want something? Take it. Although the guns are all fake because those wankers won't trust me with the real one."
"What?"
"Hey, do you fancy either of the birds?"
"No. I have a soulmate. Heard enough. You're not him. The Mandarin. The real guy. Where?" He shouted now. "WHERE'S THE MANDARIN? WHERE?"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. He's here. He's here, but he's not here." he said, running away a little. Tony made sure to follow him very closely with his gun.
"He's here, but he's not here."
"What do you mean?"
"It's complicated." He let out a nervous chuckle. "Hey, it's complicated."
"It is." Tony agreed.
"It's complicated"
"Uncomplicate it. Ladies, out. Get out of the bed. Get in the bathroom."
He locked the girls in the bedroom and then shot in front of the man's head as he attempted to crawl out. One of the girls in the bathroom screamed. The man pretending to be the Mandarin sat where Tony had wanted him to sit in the first place.
"My name is Trevor. Trevor Slattery."
"What are you? What are you, a decoy? You're a double, right?"
"What, you mean like an understudy? No, absolutely not."
Tony raised the gun and he jumped. "Don't hurt the face! I'm an actor!"
"You got a minute to live. Fill it with words."
"It's just a role. 'The Mandarin', see, it's not real."
"Then how did you get here, Trevor?"
"Um, well, I um, had a little problem with, um, substances. And I ended up um doing things, no two ways about it, in the street, that a man shouldn't do."
"Next?" Tony asked tersely.
"Then, they approached me about the role, and they knew about the drugs-"
"What did they say? They'd get you off of them?"
"They said they'd give me more! They gave me things. They gave me this palace. They gave me plastic surgery. They gave me things." He started to snore.
"Did you just nod off?" Tony asked incredulously. He was tired, he was frustrated, he wanted to go home and lay in bed with Y/N, with Everleigh sleeping in between them so he could look down at his sleeping daughter in content while Y/N stared at him with loving eyes.
"Hey." He kicked the man.
"No, and a lovely speedboat. And the thing was, he needed someone to take credit for some accidental explosions." He mimed an explosion that was barely louder than a whisper.
"He?" Tony growled. "Killian?"
"Killian."
"He created you?"
"He created me."
"Custom-made terror threat." Tony said, stepping back from the man.
"Yes. Yes. His think tank thinked it up. The pathology of a serial killer." He messed around with something on the desk. "The manipulation of Western iconography. Ready for another lesson? Blah, blah, blah." He held out a soda.
"No." He waved it away.
"Of course, it was my performance that brought the Mandarin to life."
"Your performance? Where people died?"
"No, they didn't. Look around you. The costumes, green screen. Honestly, I wasn't on location for half this stuff. And when I was, it was movie magic, love."
"I'm sorry, but I got a best friend whose in a coma and he might not wake up. So you're gonna have to answer for that. You're still going down, pal. You under-" He was suddenly aware that Trevor was looking behind him.
He turned and barely registered that it was the same guy he thought he'd killed, when he was knocked out.
🎃 ::::: 🧡 ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 🧡 ::::: 🎃
When Tony came to, he was aware that he was standing. His arms felt heavy, like they had been strung up above his head for a long time. He finally blinked his eyes open with a groan and found that he was cable tied to what seemed like an old bed without a mattress.
Maya was in front of him, working at a computer on a higher platform. There were several different plants all around her, clearly still continuing her work.
When she heard that he was awake, she turned to face him and he could still see that she was carrying some wounds from the night his house was attacked. He wondered where Y/N was, if she had stayed with Maya. He wished he could ask, but he didn't want to draw attention to it.
"Just like old times." Maya smirked.
"Oh, yeah. With zip ties. It's a ball."
"It wasn't my idea." Maya sighed.
"Okay. So you took Killian's card."
"I took his money." She corrected.
"And here you are, thirteen years later, in a dungeon."
"No."
"Yeah." Tony said, looking around the place once more. It was definitely screaming 'dungeon'.
"No, you're in a dungeon. I'm free to go."
"Yeah?"
Maya stood up and talked as she walked, "A lots happened Tony. But I'm close. EXTREMIS is practically stabilized."
"I'm telling you it isn't! I'm on the street. People are going bang. They're painting the walls. Maya, you're kidding yourself."
"Then help me fix it." She held up the name tag that he had left in her hotel room when he had left after fucking her. She flipped it over on the back to show some sort of science formula.
"Did I do that?" he questioned.
"Yes." She said in a tone that clearly stated she was in disbelief that he didn't remember.
"I remember the night, not the morning." He said and then wished he hadn't. He only cared about Y/N now. All of the other nights were inconsequential. He remembered every minute with Y/N. The good and the bad. "Is this what you've been chasing around?"
"You don't remember?"
"I can't help you. You used to have a more psychology. You used to have ideals. You wanted to help people. Now look at you. I get to wake up every morning with someone who-" He paused and then said, "still has their soul." There was a moment of silence before he said, "Get me out of here. Come on."
"You know what my old man used to say to me?" A somewhat familiar voice said and he heard footsteps on the stairs as Maya walked away from him. Tony couldn't see Killian yet though. "One of his favorite of many sayings: The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"You're not still pissed off about the Switzerland thing, are you?" Tony asked, even though he still couldn't see the man.
"How can I be pissed at you, Tony?" Killian said and Tony finally saw the man and his heart stopped beating. In one hand, the man was holding a briefcase, which he put down casually on the desk. In the other arm, he was cradling Everleigh.
"I'm here to thank you." He put Everleigh down on the table and walked towards Tony. Tony stopped watching his daughter only for a moment to keep focus on Killian. "You gave me the greatest gift that anybody's ever given me. Desperation. If you think back to Switzerland, you said you'd meet me on the rooftop, right? Well, for the first twenty minutes, I actually thought you'd show up. And the next hour. . . I- I considered taking that one-step shortcut to the lobby. If you know what I mean."
"Honestly, I'm still trying to figure out what happened to the first mouse." Tony replied.
"But as I looked out over that city, nobody knew I was there, nobody could see me, no one was even looking. I had a thought that would guide me for years to come. Anonymity, Tony. Thanks to you, it's been my mantra ever since, right?"
Maya gave a small smile and nodded hurridely.
"You simply rule from behind the scenes. Because the second you give evil a face, a Bin Laden, a Gaddafi, a Mandarin, you hand the people a target."
"You're something else." Tony said, eyes flickering back to his daughter.
"You have met him, I assume?" Killian asked, sitting down at the table, putting Everleigh in his lap and opening up the briefcase.
"Yes. Sr Laurence Oblivier."
"I know he's a little, over the top sometimes." Killian said, holding Everleigh in his hands. Tony wanted to rip out of his bonds and blast the man in the face. "It's not entirely my fault. He has a tendon- He's a stage actor. They say his Lear was the toast of Croydon, wherever that is. Anyway, the point is, ever since that big dude with the hammer fell out of the sky, subtlety kind've had its day."
"What's next for you in your world?" Tony asked.
"Well, I wanted to repay you the selfsame gift that you so graciously imparted to me."
He rolled three balls across the floor and a hologram of Y/N, trapped in one of the same roller coaster like contraptions he had seen in the file videos came up.
"Desperation."
Tony could feel blood trickling down his face at his open cut.
"Now this is live. I'm not sure if you can tell, but at this moment, the body is trying to decide whether to accept EXTREMIS or just give up."
Tony watched the tears streaming down Y/N's face. He couldn't tell if her face was red from pain, or because of the fire that was coursing through her veins. She was naked from the waist up, except for a small tube top across her chest. She looked at though she was in unmentionable pain.
"And if it gives up," Tony jerked in his bonds. He had to save her. "I have to say, the detonation is quite spectacular." Tony wanted to scream. "But until that point, it's really just a lot of pain." Killian suddenly stood up, putting Everleigh down once more. "We haven't even talked salary yet." He caught Tony around the throat tightly. "What kind of perk package are you thinking of?"
"Let him go." Maya's voice rang out behind Killian.
"Hold on, hold on." Killian breathed softly to Tony, powering down so that the orange left his eyes.
"Maya-"
"I said let him go." Maya said and for some reason Tony could fathom, she had a pin pointed to her neck.
"What are you doing?"
"1200 CCs. A dose half this size, I'm dead."
Killian faced Tony and said, "It's times like this my temper is tested somewhat. Maya, give me the injector."
"If I die, Killian, what happens to your soldiers? What happens to your products?"
"We're not doing this, okay?"
"What happens to you? What happens if you go too hot?"
Killian turned to face Tony, and then suddenly a shot rang out. Tony almost flinched, averting his eyes. Unfortunately, there were only horrible places to look. Everleigh had just started crying from the loud noise that scared her. Y/N's face was contorted in pain, her entire body seizing against the contrapation she was held in. And then there was Killian's ugly ass face.
"The good news is, a high-level positions has just been vacated."
Maya's body hit the ground with dead finality.
"You are a maniac."
"No, I'm a visionary. But I do own a maniac. And he takes the stage tonight." Killian scooped up Everleigh and walked away.
🎃 ::::: 🧡 ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 🧡 ::::: 🎃
Rhodey was annoyed as the people attempted to saw the parts off of Tony's suit. Sure, the army had painted it, but Tony had built it.
Suddenly, someone came walking around the corner and Rhodey didn't recognize the man. He did, however, recognize the little girl in his arms and he felt a sense of foreboding come over him. Where was Y/N?
"Afternoon Colonel." The man greeted him, putting Tony's daughter into the arms of one of the other people there. "Step aside."
"Oh!" Rhodey groaned as warning lights indicated that the suit was getting too hot.
"We'll get you out of there. Don't worry."
Rhodey was now fully aware of what Tony had been talking about with glowing orange chicks.
"You'll damage the armor." The man who was now holding Everleigh said.
"Yes, I will. But you can fix it, right? I'm gonna take the chinook to base camp. And I want Y/N with me."
"She's still in Phase Two."
"You're not going deaf, are you?"
Rhodey gritted his teeth, unsure of whether or not he was going to be able to hold out much longer. But it felt like he had lost, as he watched the man walk away with his goddaughter.
#Braveclementineworks#BraveclementineNovels#Novel#Pumpkin#xreader#Tony Stark#xY/N#James Rhodey#Iron Patriot#Y/N#Tony Stark x reader#Iron Man#Aldrich Killian#The Mandarin#Everleigh Maria Stark#orange chicks#avengers!au#soulmate!au#marvel!au#avengers soulmates#animal soulmates#Steve Rogers#Clint Barton#Natasha Romanoff#Pepper Potts#Happy Hogan
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The Way We Were
The older I get the more I like when things stay the same. When I was young (oh so long ago) I could roll with the punches and adapt to whatever came my way. Now I have rolls and am very punchy with neither of those being good. Perhaps you can stand the little things I find irksome but really I can't. I tried writing a letter to the 'Why the hell are there so many changes' department of the federal government but it was returned to me with I believe a tracking device embedded somewhere in the envelope. Not to worry. I put it in the trunk of a friend's car and because he never cleans it the envelope will stay there forever (or until he gets a new car) so the government can keep tabs on him instead of me.
I like the way things were, and sometimes are, but it is the constant changes that are hard to deal with.
Here are the things that bug me, really bug me, that cause a change in my daily routine.
The Hydro goes out. No matter what time of day this happens it interrupts my TV time and forces me to do...What? I have nothing else to do except on Mondays when I write. The rest of the week is down time to give my wrists time to heal. I can barely handle the remote but I cope. And don't get me started on having to reset things like my printer that seems to want to reprint old letters for some reason.
Cable out. You might think that this is the same as above but have you noticed that when the power is out and comes back on everything is ready to go except cable. This takes much longer for some reason.
Have you ever tried to go into your email or pay a bill and randomly you are asked to identify yourself? The gods of the internet can see I am using the same laptop as always and I am sure they also can see through my camera and know it is me. I would give them the finger but I suspect I would never be able to access anything ever again.
A few months ago my favorite pen rolled under the bookcase near my desk. It is still there as I am positive I would throw out my back retrieving it. When I was young I would have lifted the bookcase with one hand and picked up the pen with the other.
The first time I visited my hometown I tried to see some friends. It is a simple place to get around or should I say was a simple place to get around. Streets had disappeared, some were now dead ends, favorite restaurants now offered tattooing, and many other magnificent changes. Because of these things I left and went back to where i live now. My friends have no idea how close they came to a visit from me.
Why are there so many phone updates? Every time there is one I lose the ability to access one of the rare apps I have on my Apple 2. I can still phone or text but that is about it. There was nothing wrong with this phone when I got it so please leave it alone.
I hate smart TV's. There I said it. I used to enjoy sitting down and watching something uninterrupted (unless the power or cable went out) but now, in the middle of a show, my 'Smart TV' believes this is the best time to reboot itself. If it was really smart it would recognize it is getting close to being tossed from our balcony.
Finally, stop discontinuing foods I like. At my age putting out things with less sugar, no msg, gluten free, or anything else supposedly healthy is just a shock to my system.
THOUGHT OF THE WEEK: All the data shows that the largest growing segment of the population is seniors. Someone in marketing should smarten up and start listening to us.
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I've been thinking a lot about how because there are people who are easier on female villains because they're hot there are also people who are too hard on female villains because they're hot because they assume there's a bias towards beautiful women getting away with crimes.
There is also a bias towards ugly female villains when we do get those so overall we've wrapped back around to things being rougher for women overall lol.
Yeah, man, even evil ladies can’t catch a break, smh. 😩
Just since we're on the topic of villainesses in general, might be a little OT to your point but this just reminded me of how it always drove me nuts whenever I would read or hear things about how they never made more storylines with Sedusa in the OG PPG because it was too "difficult" to do or whatever. I wonder if the difficulty wasn't so much letting an awesome villainess thrive and do her seductive, evil thing and more that the network wouldn't let her? Maybe? If it wasn't the network though, that makes me seethe/rage because, okay, you couldn't let her just be bad without being seductive? You’re viewing her as that one note and not bothering to do anything about it? You just make this villainess and go, "Well, her power is seducing, guess she can't ever have any other powers or do anything else it’s impossible to be creative about that shruuuuuuuuug." It's similar to the reasoning to take Ms. Bellum out of the reboot, "She's too smart!" but with Sedusa it was, "She's too hot!" Okay, yeah, sure. 🙄 The comic did a couple of storylines where she wasn't trying to seduce anyone and was just being her awesome bad self (usually things to do with like something beauty related but at least it was SOMETHING…) so I mean... it was possible to do! But they never did it. I don’t know. That’s something that gets a little under my skin sometimes when I think about it.
Speaking of the reboot, props to them for one thing: actively trying to make new female villains even though those ones kind of totally absolutely sucked (and actually they did take Sedusa out of the show entirely, so… it all cancels out in the end I guess). At least an attempt was made, albeit misguided, which I can't say much for in the OG show because... I mean, as wrong as Femme Fatale was about most things, when it came to female villains the girls basically did only really fight that bratty girl and the chick in the underwear and then the show… never really addressed that again (this kind of thing could also probably tie into part of my criticism of Members Only and why I think that was written with the girls kind of being OOC but that's a rant for another day lol).
#I have no clue if what I wrote makes sense#idk just quibbles#quibbles everywhere#how female villains are generally treated in media IS an interesting topic that requires more discussion#I mean I know there are some other villainesses in PPG and actually I really should do a masterpost of them#when it comes to RECURRING villainesses tho yeah there… were not as many compared to the rest of the rogues gallery#then again I guess that’s an across the board thing when it comes to rogues galleries in other superhero media so idk
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The Ken House Part 1
I have the juice to write again a bit so I will
Drop stories here and there.
Henry
Henry is definitely not my favorite person in the world he is the vain assistant I hired initially after I started to work regularly he is a something alright.
A pretty boy I would be shocked to see leave a mirror if he did not have to work so petty and fucking vain one day I had enough in anger.
I am planning to fire him today that is till I spotted it my eyes locking on it wired box in a mirror the man stands tending to it as I enter the room.
As soon as my hand touches the odd shape door handle shoving it forward the cool air exits in to the room dragging me in to it with a quick sweep.
The door slams shut behind me in a huff find myself sitting in a chair behind a desk in a workshop with large wooden life like dolls apparently.
I rise to my feet noticing each extended area of the room has a letter attached I walk past my area and down the aisle titled L ending up with a strange box.
One is titled Master Lawrence I pick up the treasure box and the letter next to it opening it up a key falls in to my hand it’s clearly a one do kind.
Fitting perfectly in to the key hole I turn to pop open the top of the box only to see a strange gust of air filter our covering the room.
I can’t escape losing my breath I faint falling to my knees I go unconscious completely left unprotected till morning where I find myself under my power.
I roll on to my back, surveying everything In the room I am locked in to a form standing by a mirror unable to do anything but to stare.
“Oh My God! Henry are you there? Hello?”
“Out to lunch as per usual”
“What the fuck?”
“Hello! Henry Doll is activated”
“You acquired my soul last night”
“This is a synthetic body made of the real one.”
“It’s perfect in every way”
“Just for you “
“Play with me”
“As you wish”
Henry spins on his feet to face me head on I am at lost for words, he moves to the side of the room.
The mirror turns on blowing up in a brighter gold color emits blasting in my face silver letters appear in a sentence very bold for me to see.
Clear as day sign the contract to Real Dolls mirror or he will be removed from this room and you will never see him again this was his own doing.
“I am cruel and vain you pointed that out the same day this mirror was offered online.”
“I thought I could see my superiority even better when in fact it led to my doom.”
“They helped me to see my real place at your feet.”
“I am now a Real Doll”
“Accept me as yours?”
“Yes, you are my Master now and let’s play “
Tom
I command Henry to sit for me as he plops on to the bed and I exit the room down the lengthy staircase.
It is a beautiful golden spiral one like I have never seen in my life quite magnificent to snow off.
I hit the bottom step to see a familiar face my person chef Tom in his glories fully put together.
He is decorated in his chefs hay covering that chisel forehead, his body cover with a chefs apron.
He looks pretty sexy I have to say cooking away he has no idea I am here he stops for a split second.
His eyes start shift colors as his pupils grow and shrink size his mind is mind copulated over and over again.
I notice the culprit instantly showcasing it all to me the glass mirror reflection on the oven door is glowing gold as well right in to his face.
He stops cold mindlessly emptying away in to a state of nothingness he falls on to his ass hard.
I crack up knowing he soon will join the rank as one of my Ken Dolls I party in a huge type of celebration.
The great part of this is my last bit effort to sign the contract I could feel the last of all my morals holding me back but I broke free of it.
“Sorry! He is mine now”
“His eyes go completely black
“I can’t wait for you to reboot”
“His eyes glow red”
“In progress”
“Processing”
“Optimal levels up”
“Completed”
“What would you like for breakfast sire?”
“It’s everything I wanted and more.”
“I want the usual”
“Serving next”
“Coming right up”
“I hope your palate is ready”
“Here is your plate”
“Just as your ordered”
“Eggs, bacon, sausage, toast and more”
“Did I do well?”
“Absolutely”
“Feels wonderful to hear”
“Hell yes!”
Chris
Falling a sleep that afternoon I did not order or expect my two Dolls to get to work on a plan they hatched.
They walk out the front door making sure to lock up behind them crossing the floor to the apartment next door.
Tom kicks the door open entering the third door as they pass through the room in utter excitement.
Chris eyes open up in shock at the two odd looking crazy guys standing at his door they waltz in.
They both grab one end of his body forcing him to the floor dragging him across the floor to my apartment.
“Who the hell are you? What are you doing to me?”
“LET ME GO!”
“Ssssssshhhhhhhh”
“Zip your mouth”
“The constraints of life will soon be over”
“I promise you! Mwahahaha”
“Relax! Don’t move”
“Sssshhhhhhh!”
“HELP!”
“Aaaaaaahhhh”
“What pretty colors”
“So beautiful “
“Follow the light”
“Enter the mirror “
“I own you now”
“Become one us”
“Yeah! One us”
“I surrender”
“Go sit for Master and wait”
“I love you “
“Wake up soon”
“My love “
“I am your everything “
“My world”
“My existence “
The end
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thoughts on John Stewart? he’s typically called boring
You know how Hal is the one who gets accused of being the "Nostalgia Lantern"? Only sticks around because of a bunch of old timers who can't let go of the past? Hot take time: that's actually John.
He's my second favorite Lantern, and the first Lantern I was introduced to because of the DCAU. John is a cool character, an ex-Marine turned socially conscious architect whose analytical mind allows him to put together a plan as complex as a skyscraper, and his power ring finally allows him the opportunity to create on a scale he could only dream of before. Yes he lacks the swagger of Hal, the bravado of Guy, or the sensitivity of Kyle, but John is cool for the same reason as Batman: give him a little preptime and he can beat God. Unfortunately, John's popularity relies entirely on a cartoon that ended over a decade ago. Stewart fans continue to claim that he's the one true Lantern because of the DCAU, same as how Tim Drake fans claim he is the one true Robin, and both of them need to face reality. Whatever boost John got from the DCAU - to the point that yes at the time he could have laid claim to being the top GL like Jaime Reyes can for Blue Beetle - has long since worn off.
Some of the blame for that does fall on whoever at DC failed to capitalize on his popularity, whether that was Johns or Didio or whoever. John should have gotten his own solo book alongside Hal, they should have built the two of them up as equals. Instead John basically languished on the sidelines and never did more than play support during the Johns era, which was the era that redefined GL in the minds of hardcore comics readers. The best stories for John, the ones that flesh him out and define him as a character, are books from the 1980s and 90s. Mosaic is still regarded as the greatest John Stewart story with no real competition, and that is irrevocably tainted by the writer being a convicted pedophile. It's utter insanity that DC has made no real attempt to rectify that until recently.
Another hot take: I think John has been hurt more than helped by keeping all of his continuity intact. Take Katma Tui, his dead wife for example. His entire relationship with her is based on old comics from decades ago, comics nobody from the younger generations is going to read. Katma was one of the most important characters in John's life, but she's no Gwen Stacy. Average person has no clue who she is, and no reason to care, hence why most writers nowadays avoid bringing her up at all. Furthermore, Stewart lacks a clean origin retelling the way Hal got under Johns. During the New 52 they should have given Stewart a hard reboot, given he was mostly inconsequential to the Johns run with Hal, that wouldn't have upset things anymore than rebooting Superman and Wonder Woman did. They could have retold his origin, brought Katma back to life and done their romance in the modern day for a modern audience. Or tossed that relationship and put John with someone else, but it would have freed him from all the useless baggage the same way Aquaman and Mera were freed.
Since that didn't happen, I'm hoping that PKJ can be the world-builder John needs by giving him a soft reboot. Retell his origin, give John new friends outside his fellow human Lanterns, new love interests, stop calling back to Xanshi, and give him new foes that he can have to himself. DC Cosmic is big enough for John to carve out his own storytelling territory, but it requires someone who is more interested in the new than the old. Continuity only weighs John down at this point, and there's another big opportunity coming up for him that it would be a shame to waste.
With the announcement that Gunn is doing a Lanterns HBO MAX show starring John and Hal, this is another huge opportunity for Stewart. He's about to get another high profile adaption, one that could see John being a major player in the shared cinematic universe if all goes well. Right now is the time to start creating comics material for Stewart, whether for the purposes of adaption or simply because they need comics they can give to people which aren't decades old or irrevocably tainted by association with their creators. Last big break for Stewart went nowhere, I'm counting on the new management at DC not to repeat the previous regime's mistakes this time around.
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Fic asks: 21, 23, 26!
Thanks for the ask!
21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why?
Probably? I'm pretty bad at killing my darlings, but I've written a LOT of fic (I recently added up my AO3 word count and my FFN-only word count, and the total was well over 700k), so it's bound to have happened a few times. The closest concrete example I can think of is when I was rebooting a Lizzie Bennet Diaries fic that I had titled "Respect" on FFN. When I transferred it to AO3 under the title "The Difference an Evening Can Make," I almost completely rewrote the last three chapters, which definitely involved deleting entire scenes. I did that because the original version had involved Lizzie and Darcy getting together while Lizzie was shadowing at Darcy's company, and those power dynamics bothered me way more while writing the reboot at age 26 than they had when I wrote the original at age 20.
23. How do you choose where to end a chapter (if you have multi-chapter works)?
I used to spend a lot of my writing energy on multi-chapter fics, but it's been a while. Other than the aforementioned "The Difference an Evening Can Make," which was a reboot of a fic I wrote several years ago, most of the multichapters I've written recently have been drabble series, which make it very easy to decide where to end the chapter because there's a very specific word limit! Other than that, I think I generally just tried to wrap up a scene--I didn't often have multi-scene chapters.
26. Is there something you’ve written that you would never want your family to see?
Hahahahaha yeah I have a Dysfunctional Family tag for a reason. I think the biggest problem would be if my parents ever read "A Few Things, Maybe Several Things," a fic about terrible parents and the harm they cause that I wrote on Mother's Day two years ago.
Oh. I just realized this question might be about smut, not anger. Yeah, that too, I guess, but that would be awkward, not, like, potentially catastrophic.
Get in on the ask game!
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It's Fictional Throwdown Friday: Movie Night!
A side version of FTF that's hosted and presented much like Death Battle, where two characters I like give an overview of the combatants and I provide you with a fully written fight scene.
This Week's Fighters...
Ansem, Seeker of Darkness vs. Super Dimentio!
As Presented By:
Damien LaVey and Calculester!
Rules and Conditions:
Kingdom Hearts 1 Ansem
Super Dimentio with the Power of the Chaos Heart
Introduction:
Damien: We're all familiar with those big, nauseatingly sacherine human feanchises by now, right? We all know who Mario is and we've all sold at least some part of our soul to that fucking Disney corporation. If yes, then you're definitely familiar with the urge to light those fucking characters on fire and sing those dumb fucking catchy songs all day long as they scream!
Calculester: ...I assure you, I have not felt that urge, Friend Damien.
Damien: Well, don't worry about it. These two have it covered. Meet Ansem, Seeker of Darkness, scourge of the Disney Multiverse, and the Heartless copy of Xehanort from Kingdom Hearts.
Calculester: And Dimentio, the master of dimensions from Paper Mario.
Damien: I'm Damien and he's Calculester and we're going to determine which of these two can beat the everloving shit out of each other!
Calculester: With the unfailing logic of science and math.
Damien: Don't ruin it.
Analysis: Ansem
Damien: Oh, fuck me, we're starting with this guy. Okay, everybody, buckle up, this is going to be a lot.
Calculester: Long before the events of the first Kingdom Hearts game, which would technically make it not the first Kingdom Hearts game I'd assume but after Star Wars I've long stopped trying to understand human filing systems, there was a Keyblade Master named Xehanort.
Damien: Wait, go back, what's a Keyblade?
Calculester: A Keyblade, not to be confused with the X-Blade, is-
Damien: You just said Keyblade twice.
Calculester: Well, no, the X-Blade was forged during the Keyblade War fought between numerous Keyblade Masters, whereas the Keyblade-
Damien: How can there be Keyblade Masters if the Keyblade was forged during the war? Who wrote this?!
Calculester: ERROR: CONTINUITY OVERFLOW. TOO MUCH TO EXPLAIN. EXPLANATION OVERLOAD. REBOOTING...
Damien: Well, shit, now I have to explain it.
Damien: Okay, bare minimum. Long, long ago, a bunch the world's most powerful warriors, Keyblade Masters, fought a war over Kingdom Hearts, the heart of all worlds and source of Ultimate Power. Lots of time later, Master Xehanort, another Keyblade Master, wanted to start a second Keyblade War to reach Kingdom Hearts and recreate everything in his image, which is just blaise if you ask me. My dads have run the whole "recreate the world in our image" thing into the ground, so all I'm seeing here is a criminal lack of imagination.
Damien: Anyways, he failed and wound up possessing some guy named Terra. Terra-Xehanort then went on to study under a guy named Ansem the Wise, who he would later overthrow and impersonate in order to use his research to his own ends. That research wound up splitting him into two people again. One of them, an empty shell without a Heart called a Nobody who would become Xemnas and the other is our topic for today, Ansem.
Calculester: ...I did not know you played so much Kingdom Hearts, friend Damien.
Damien: Hey! I have hobbies outside of arson! Fuck you!
Calculester: Regardless, Ansem, the Seeker of Darkness, is Xehanort's Heartless. This means that he is a Heart that fell to darkness and is thus reduced to nothing but a blob of darkness, which leaves behind the empty body to become a Nobody. In other words, when Terra-Xehanort fell as a result of his research, his heart became the Heartless Ansem, while his body became the Nobody Xemnas.
Damien: ...So, what's the difference? Aren't they both technically Heartless then? Hell, if anything, shouldn't the names be switched? Heartless literally ARE hearts.
Calculester: Well, for one thing, Heartless are made up of darkness while Nobodies are made of nothingness. This makes them both incorporeal and intangible to most regular beings. As such, only Keyblade welders and otherwise extremely powerful magic users can harm or physically interact with them safely. When most beings are struck by a Heartless, their Heart is stolen, erasing them from existence and creating more Nobodies and Heartless. Thanks to this process, the Heartless have been able to overrun and obliterate entire universe sized worlds.
Damien: Yeah, but Ansem's not a regular Heartless, right? I mean, he looks like just some fucking guy, for starters.
Calculester: Indeed. Darkness in Kingdom Hearts is a corrupting influence fueled by negative emotions. As such, most Heartless don't have a mind and look and act more as instinct driven animals. Ansem is the only Heartless to maintain both his physical form and his full mental faculties, largely thanks to his overwhelming power and indomitable will.
Damien: I'll say. Ansem still wanted to get his hands on Kingdom Hearts and he'd happily drown the worlds in darkness to do it. That's why he went to a small, nowhere world called Destiny Islands and took an interest in a young boy named Riku. Riku was supposed to be a Keyblade Wielder, so Ansem figured he'd make a great pawn in his quest for Kingdom Hearts.
Calculester: Destroying Destiny Islands and handing Riku over to a troupe of Disney villains, Ansem would feed on Riku's growing inner darkness and resentment in order to possess the boy, hoping to use his Keyblade to unlock Kingdom Hearts.
Damien: Sadly for him, Riku had a friend. Sora, a random kid who happened to get his hands on Riku's Keyblade, would chase Ansem across the worlds to get his friends back from Ansem's clutches. Good fucking luck with that because unholy shit this bastard's tough.
Calculester: Ansem retains much of the magic he had as Xehanort, even if he no longer has a Keyblade. He can fly, teleport, cast illusions, and create full body forcefields.
Damien: His attacks poison you, blind you, and even slow down time when they hit you to make you easier prey and if all that shit isn't enough, he can summon armies of Heartless that obey his every word, from puny little shadows to giant Darkseids the size of buildings. Fucking hell, how did anyone beat this fucker?
Calculester: Sora did. With the power of light and friendship.
Damien: Aughh. I knew they'd find a way to ruin him. Fucking Disney.
Calculester: More specifically, it took a blast of pure light energy from Kingdom Hearts itself to obliterate Ansem. Well, the Kingdom Hearts of Worlds more specifically. It's different from the real Kingdom Hearts. For some reason.
Damien: Obliterate might be generous. Don't get me wrong, his body was fucking gone, but he still somewhat survived. But Heartless are known to come back from complete annihilation as long as there is Darkness around and Ansem is no exception. He was able to regenerate from the darkness in Riku's heart and he'd continue to try to possess him for years after his first defeat. Even by Xehanort standards, this guy just would not die.
Calculester: He may have been the first villain Sora faced, but he remains one of the strongest. He posed a threat to the entire Kingdom Hearts multiverse, wherein every star in the sky equates to its own universe. That is a multiverse of up to at least ten thousand worlds. That's not even considering how he can easily keep step with Keyblade wielders like Riku and Sora, who can dodge and react to beams of light and should be comparable to his Nobody Xemnas, who reacted to Roxas flying to the Keyblade Graveyard at 167 million times the speed of light.
Source:
Damien: And that's not even counting his Dark Figure. You know, that big black shadow thing that looms behind him like a JoJo stand.
Calculester: ...You know wha-
Damien: ZOE GOT ME INTO IT, IT'S NOT MY FAULT! Back on topic, his Dark Figure can take hits for him, fight on his behalf, and even grow into a gigantic battleship called the World of Chaos. Why the fuck don't I have one of those?
Calculester: Because you are not a Heartless, nor are you Xehanort. ...I think. As you can can see-
Damien: Wait! I just thought of something. Heartless are pitch black... they're made of, like, fear and junk... and they're old creatures of darkness.... Holy shit, Oz is a Heartless! I gotta go!
Calculester: Friend Damien wait, that is not- WHERE DID YOU GET A KEYBLADE-
*CRASH*
Calculester: ...We'll be right back.
Analysis: Dimentio
Calculester: Welcome back Friend Damien. How did your failed attempt to kill Friend Oz go?
Damien: Okay, so it turns out Oz isn't made of darkness, they're made of pitch black organs that scream when you stab them.
Calculester: ...I'm fairly certain that was Friend Oz screaming, Friend Damien.
Damien: Whatever. What'd I miss?
Calculester: Well, I was just about to delve into a story about the organic emotion known as love.
Damien: Alright, you do that. I'm gonna go kill Oz some more.
Calculester: It involves mass destruction.
Damien: Sounds great! Let me stick around.
Calculester: It is the story of a love that should not be, one that threatened to destroy all reality. It is the love between Peach... and Bowser.
Damien: I mean, that sounds like her loss if anything. Who wouldn't want a partner that breathes fire!
Calculester: This inholy matrimony was instigated by the nefarious Count Bleck for the purpose of creating the Chaos Heart, a powerful artifact that would destroy the multiverse.
Damien: Sounds like typical big bad material. Here's a clue for the sharp eyed observer though. This post isn't called Ansem vs Count Bleck. Cal, tell them what's behind the curtain.
Calculester: Count Bleck was attempting to fulfill a prophecy foretold by the Dark Prognosticus that would allow him to destroy the multiverse. But, what he didn't realize was that the Dark Prognosticus's writer was working in his employ the entire time. Dimentio, a mischievous jester and self proclaimed master of dimensions.
Damien: Yeah, this guy? He is not your typical Mario villain, at all. We know jack shit about his backstory for starters and we have no idea how he started working for Bleck.
Calculester: What is known is he is in truth playing Bleck like a pawn. Dimentio intends to seize the Chaos Heart for himself and use it to destroy every world in the Mario multiverse. Intending to recreate reality in his image.
Damien: Since when did Mario go up against Final Fantasy villains? Fuck, he even kinda fights like one, thinking about it. Teleporting between worlds, flying around, duplicating himself, hell, he even has his own special boss dight dimension. One that makes both him and his enemy two hundred and fifty six times stronger, which feels like an oversight on his part. Feels like he was copying from Kefka's playbook.
Calculester:....
Damien: Go ahead! Ask me how I know who that is, I dare you!
Calculester: I have not said anything, Friend Damien. Sources tell me it's considered impolite to discourage a friend's interests.
Damien: YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT! AND IF ANYONE SAYS OTHERWISE I'LL BLOW THEM UP! Fucking cook them like Mario. ...Oh, did I forget to mention that? Dimentio blew Mario the fuck up one time.
Calculester: Correct. Dimentio has a habit of creating a barrier around his foes before blowing them up. It is a habit you and him have in common, Friend Damien.
Damien: Well, what else am I supposed to use a forcefield for?
Calculester: On the topic of habits, Dimentio has a notable tendency to spy on people with invisibility and is known to mind control people at his own convenience. Such as fellow minion O'Chunks and Luigi.
Damien: THAT BASTARD! He can kill Mario all he likes, I don't fucking care, but NO ONE TOUCHES MY MAN LUIGI! We went though a mansion together and everything.
Calculester: Dimentio would even go so far as to fuse with Luigi while harnessing the Chaos Heart, becoming Super Dimentio.
Damien: THE MOTHERFUCKING NEVER. We need to kill that clown. Calculester, make sure he dies.
Calculester: I can't rig the results like that-
Damien: Then I will, dammit! No one touches my man! I did not grow up with a gamecube to let that jester fucker treat him like this...
Calculester: Well.... as Super Dimentio, Dimentio becomes powerful enough to destroy the entire Mario multiverse and recreate it at his leisure. Seeing how every dream a person has is it's own multiverse, the result is a multiverse that is unquestionably massive in size. That is on top of the fact that he's already on par with Mario even in base form, who has been calculated as going over eight hundred and twenty trillion times light speed.
Source:
Damien: And he's a cheating bastard, too. He's surrounded at all times by a nigh-unbreakable forcefield. You can't brag about your "ultimate power" and then refuse to let me hit you. Coward.
Calculester: There is one way past his shield, Friend Damien. Love.
Damien: Aaugh. Why can't his one weakness be, like, fire, or something? Love is so boring. I get that from Brian every day, it's not rare. All I'm hearing is that Brian and I could've kicked his ass in five seconds.
Calculester: You also set things on fire every day.
Damien: Well the difference there is fire is awsome and the gasoline for it is actually kinda expensive. Especially after my dads cut my allowance.
Calculester: Well, more specifically, the Chaos Heart is weak against the Pure Hearts, which are powered by love. It is the ultimate counter balance against the despair the Chaos Heart is created by and it is that which ultimate costs Dimentio his victory.
Damien: Well, he at least explodes when he dies so I'll give his lame weakness a pass.
Transition:
Calculester: The fighters are ready and the data has been analyzed.
Damien: IT'S TIME TO WATCH THESE TWO FUCKING KILL EACH OTHER!
~
The pitch black walls of Count Bleck's castle echoed with a maniacal laughter. The dark flames illuminating the Count's keep unveiled a grizzly sight. The Heroes of Light lay dead at the feet of a blank eyed Luigi and above them, a sinister jester danced around the silhouette of the Chaos Heart.
"Oh, what a wonderful show you've provided for us, my dear Mr. L! What a fantastic spectacle. I've always preferred theater myself, but I'll give me credit where it's due and admit I'm quite good a puppet shows!" Dimentio proclaimed, reveling in his victory. The dancing stopped with a quizzical "hm?" as an inky dark silhouette appeared. Out of it stepped a small boy in a bizarre dark garb and pure silver hair atop his head. Dimentio snapped his fingers and Mr. L jumped into the boy's path in a combat ready stance. "You're not part of the prophecy. Who are you?"
"A seeker of darkness, much like yourself I'd imagine." The boy answered in an echo of what seemed to be both his own voice and that of a much older man. "I come from a distant cluster of worlds in search of a great source of darkness." Riku pointed at the Chaos Heart hovering overhead. "That heart has more darkness within it than any I've seen. It will be the perfect tool in my quest for Kingdom Hearts."
"Kingdom Hearts..." Dimentio said, rolling the words around on his tongue. "What a perfect place to begin my final magic show. You'll have to show it to me after I've... enlisted you."
Dimentio snapped his fingers again and the two met in a clash that shook the whole building. Riku's Dark Keyblade and Luigi's hammer ground against each other in a collision that left explosive cracks along the ground.
Riku pushed his way though, forcing Luigi to hop back as he pursued him with wide swings. Luigi bounced off the walls, hopping off Riku's head like he were a Goomba before spinning in mid air to pelt his stunned foe with a barage of fire flowers.
Riku took the hits with an annoyed huff before he bashed one of the fire balls straight back, forcing the possessed plumber to deflect it again with his hammer. The two dashed parallel across the room, hitting the projectile back and forth as both they and it picked up speed.
Luigi suprised Riku at the last minute with a sudden burst of speed, jumping over the projectile and smashing the Keyblade Wielder into the ground. Dimentio turbed invisible as his puppet continued to utilize his apparent speed advantage, content to enjoy the show from a distance.
The applause stopped dead when, as Luigi pulled his hammer back to continue pummeling, the Keyblade snapped the handle with one hard swing.
"To oblivion with you!" Riku rasped out as a blast of darkness from his Keyblade sent Luigi flying, crashing him through a nearby pillar.
"It seems we have a similar taste in puppets." The boy monologed as he approached the seemingly downed plumbers. "I can sense his resentment and his desperate thirst for adventure. He would be a perfect vessel in other circumstances." Riku's approach was suddenly halted by an invisible barrier. He glanced around in confusion before suddenly realizing he'd been boxed in at all sides.
"I hadn't realized I'd scheduled a puppet show." Dimentio remarked, making himself visible again. "I've always had a preference for theater. I'd much rather see the actor underneath!"
A finger snap engulfed Riku in explosions as Dimentio laughed and applauded, the flash of the blasts illuminating the entire room.
As the barrier disappeared, the smoke began to clear, revealing Riku's shadow still standing tall.
"Very well. I suppose I have no further use for this pawn." Ansem declared, the smoke clearing to reveal Ansem holding Riku's body up by the neck, before the Heartless tossed the boy aside like a wet rag. Dimentio began to duplicate as he hovered overhead, circuling Ansem as they all charged up blasts of magic. "Or for you."
As the blasts homed in from all sides, the Dark Body appeared to swat them all away, knocking some clones out of the air with the blasts. One Dimentio clone homed in on Ansem's now exposed flank as the Seeker focused on the rest, preparing a blast from overhead.
Ansem spun around at the last second, nabbing Dimentio by the throat and slamming him into the nearby wall. "Unlike you, I am not helpless without my pawns. The darkness is wasted on you. You who understand nothing."
Dimentio forced out a raspy giggle. "Silly little seeker, I wrote the book on that Dark Heart specifically~"
Ansem looked at wear Dimentio pointed to see Luigi's body begin to merge with the Chaos Heart, the shadow of a giant behemoth beginning to emerge from the mass. "What have you..." Ansem trailed off, before a massive white glove smashed him through the wall, sending him souring out of the castle.
As Ansem picked himself up, clutching his head in his palm, he saw the Luigi shaped monstrosity crash through the castle. It's neck wrapped around and smashed the stone towers as Dimentio sat in it's mouth like a cockpit. The jester was soon swallowed down and his impish expression spread to Luigi's face. Ansem could only gasp up at it in awe.
"What darkness have you wrought!"
"Darkness this, Darkness that, tsk tsk. So trite. All I have wrought is the last great magic show of your life!"
Ansem summoned a shield to protect him, but even that began to creak and crack against both of Super Dimentio's hands. "Guardian, come to me!" As Ansem was carried up to eye level, his Dark Figure appeared again to protect him. Each of the Guardian's heavy blows bounced off a rainbow shield, not even making Super Dimentio flinch.
"And now, we part. Ciao!"
Ansem shield shattered like glass and his body vanished with a sickening crack. A light chuckle left Luigi's lips, before it transitioned to a full on cackle. Thunder crackled across the sky as the Master of Dimensions relished in ultimate power.
"...This world has been connected..."
The smashed rubble began disappearing as the laughter stopped. Dimentio's face shifted into one of confusion.
"...Tied to the darkness..."
"Who said that? What's happening?" Dimentio asked as the sky faded to purple. Hordes of Heartless began straining into existence like oil stains spreading across cloth. Dimentio tried to shake the ant like beasts off him to no avail.
"...Soon to be completely eclipsed..."
"What's going on? What's happening!?" The world faded from view. Count Bleck's castle was no more. The world turned to Darkness around Dimentio's feet. And in that Darkness loomed the shadow of a battleship.
A vast, terrible battleship, spun together from flesh approached, with a gaping maw as its bust and a gargantuan Guardian as its mast. Alongside it floated Ansem, arms crossed in triumph.
"All worlds return to the Darkness from whence they came!"
Ansem lept from atop his battleship, cutting through Dimentio's massive hands with the blades in his hand as he lunged. Ansem outstretched his free hand and shoved it through Luigi's massive face, drilling through his skull with his bare palm alone. Luigi's Heart, his very soul, faded into darkness and his body soon began to fade along with it. It was in the head of that fading corpse that Ansem held Dimentio up by the scruff if his neck.
"You could never destroy the darkness." Ansem said. "Your heart is filled with it."
Ansem simply shoved his hand through Dimentio's chest, freeing his Heart so it too could join the Darkness. Dimentio's body faded to nothing, his hat blowing away in the wind.
Ansem stood victorious, with the Chaos Heart in his hand and the Heartless of his fallen foes forming at his side. He gazed out at the sea of worlds the Mario Multiverse provided, each glowing as bright as a star.
By the time he was done, there would be no more stars left in the sky.
KO!
Conclusion:
Damien: No, he killed my man! Calculester how could you!
Calculester: You wanted me to-
Damien: NOT LIKE THIS!! ...Not like this...
Calculester: Well, that aside, this was an interesting matchup to consider.
Damien: Oh, definitely. Dimentio actually had quite a few legs up over Ansem. He was much faster and stronger for starters.
Calculester: Correct. While Ansem can keep up with people millions of times faster than light, Dimentio was comperable to people trillions of times faster and he multiverse he would've destroyed was much bigger as well. One universe for every star in the sky is immense, but one universe for everyone who has ever dreamed is much bigger. Especially when considering that every universe has people in it who dream and those dreams contain more people who dream and so on.
Damien: The problem is, it really didn't help Dimentio kill Ansem. While it's arguable that Super Dimentio could still hit Ansem when considering that Luigi fights intangible peeps all the time, that still didn't give him anything quite like a keyblade with which to keep Ansem down. Hell, Dimentio's a petty, selfish, spiteful, prideful little shit himself. Those are all the things that Darkness in KH feeds on, giving Ansem a steady supply with which to regenerate or even possess Dimentio outright.
Calculester: And that's when remembering Ansem's superior intellect, given his many years studying darkness and his time as a keyblade master as Xehanort. Ansem was going to plan around Dimentio's advantages eventually and his ability to steal hearts and erase people with a touch gave him an easy victory condition Dimentio couldn't easily counter.
Damien: Dimentio's a tricky fucker, but as far as his show is concerned, it's lights out!
The Winner is:
Ansem!
Music:
youtube
youtube
#fictional throwdown fridays#movie night#monster prom#damien lavey#calculester hewlett packard#kingdom hearts#ansem seeker of darkness#super mario bros#dimentio#Youtube
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i finished datv
its a decent game, just not a decent dragon age.
This was the first game in the series where I felt nothing upon reaching finale, no excitement, no sadness, no epicness, just wanted to get it over with. I still started a new character, mostly to see if I can get more lore tidbits on this particular combo of race/faction (and to unlock the last achievement Im missing from 100%). Its just... shallow. Good for "relax, consume and dont ask", but if you want just a tad bit more, youre in for a bad surprise. Not to mention the constant hand holding, jesus christ, trust your player to have a brain, Bioware.
More under the cut, spoilery
it will be chaotic, but hey ho...
Honestly, I played it for the lore. I knew certain aspects that got confirmed, i was baffled by others, especially contradictory to the previous games... which still would be okay if only it didnt just started snowballing into one big mess.
Old gods lore? Gone. Seems like quickly attached to the elves, which would have been great if it was done better. Much better.
It was elves all along? Spirits into bodies? Expected. Shame they decided to just cut through it with a blaster and infodump en masse on the player, it really took me out.
Blight? See, thats interesting, but we also first learned that red lyrium is blighted lyrium. To have titans infected blood could be interesting, except also red lyrium means angry. What.
Statues of the dread wolf in every single elven place? Yeah why. There was a big point of having his statues in mythals temple in dai, big enough to get its own dialogue, but nope, lets just reuse assets, enviromental storytelling? what is that
Isabela only shared the name with Isabela I knew. Same with Dorian. Morrigan had a few good lines, but it wasnt my Morrigan.
I also like how we dont care about the previous choices and characters, except the ones we need and are as bland as possible, and all have selective amnesia. Either leave the south and the past completely, or import more choices, this is just jarring.
I expected a soft reboot, which we get with letters telling us about the South getting wrecked, and im sort of at peace with that? It stings, but still. The ILLUMINATI reveal at the end tho? I hope they pivot from the implication that ALL of the previous villains/heroes/events were influenced by THE ILLUMINATI, not just observed, DIRECTLY INFLUENCED, cause thats not just shitting on lore, thats shitting on some amazing characters and their agency (LOGHAIN OF ALL), and amazing stories, for the sake of what...? Clearing cut from the past team? I was never a big fan of Trick W, but this is just... ugh. Unless it is a VERY GOOD WRITING, that im not expecting from this team.
Writing is very bland, and mostly bad, way too anachronistic, tonally not even at all, characters are just meh, and the fact you HAVE to be nice to all of them doesnt help. I cant dismiss them, i cant fight with them, i cannot NOT recruit them, the most i can do is not do quests (but loot. and codex entries. and stuff), which is such a regressive decision. POWER OF FRIENDSHIP LESSSGOOO
I think I truly liked only Emmerich and Davrin, even Harding was a shadow of herself. I knew Taash was written by Weekes instantly, same bratiness, same annoyance about them as Sera... whom i actively dont like, but i cared about anyway, and I was prepared and did it for Taash, but certain in your face, including breaking the forth wall, preachy scene made me fucking cringe. Like i literally had to pause cause it was so bad. Taash is kinda too childish as well, not straight to the point like some people claim, just fucking daft. Neve is flat, Bellara is a worse Merrill, Lucanis had a promise, but its like hes written by 2 different people at all times, even Solas contradicts the one I knew before.
Also its so... weird that like Harding gets stuff from her Ma and wants to go camping, but at the same time we know South is barely holding. Antaam is so good theyre every fucking where.
Wardens are great, Id die for Evka. Assan is my boy. Manfred is the greatest wisp that ever was.
What was the most disappointing though, was the zones. What do you mean i FINALLY go to tevinter and see only fucking dock town? Where are my villas? Where are the bad magisters? Wheres the rampant injustice (except in the passing or the codex)? In Treviso, where are the scary Crows, not this anti-hero italian nice mafia? Kal Sharok is just different, but everyones nice and looks normal, but theyre different, lets not get into it though.
Where are dozens of elves following Solas? Whats up with that 6th sense twist that was SO BAD?
Theres probably more stuff that I already forgot about.
I know this games development was hell, the whole process got restarted like 3 times, but the way they sanitised almost everything (shoutout to the Blight cause it has some good moments), and the writing that is even more chaotic than this post, make me feel so... bitter? Disappointed? Disillusioned?
Certainly nothing positive.
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Hii im just starting to get into vt because of a friend and he said u know abt spencer. can u tell me abt him??
oh boy where do i even start. this is like a dream come true for me honestly. i'm going to try to stick to whats actually canon as much as possible, so i wont be getting into my own headcanons here.
i know for a fact im gonna end up typing some parapgraphs so here, i made a table of contents.
paragraph 1: age
paragraph 2: personality
paragraph 3: hobbies and interests
paragraph 4: location
paragraph 5: his backstory
paragraph 6: miscellaneous
spencer is one of the youngest venturiantale characters. the wiki states that he is 17, but when he is first introduced he says that he is 12 years old, so i'm not really sure where the fandom wiki got 17 from. he IS characterized as a young teenaged boy so really his age can be anywhere inbetween those 2 in the present day of canon (which is like... vaguely 2010s.) obviously if you're doing like timeskip aus or whatever he can be an adult.
he is very easily annoyed especially when it comes to stupid people, of which there are an abundance in the gmod roleplay cast. whenever someone ticks him off he tends to call them an "absolute nerd!!!" something which i struggle to incorporate into my own depictions because i can never seem to get it to sound natural. i mean, he himself is portrayed to be this geeky insufferable know-it-all, so it's strange that he would call other people "nerd"s, especially when theyre being dumb. but i digress. short paragraph compared to the other ones but as he's presented in canon, he really does have a simple composition. he's a nerdy kid who hates people and loves to be alone and gets angry easily.
it's hard to discern what spencer likes, but it's easy to tell what he dislikes because he'll make it known. pokemon, power rangers, barbies, really anything pink and girly (with some glaring exceptions such as being a brony and having no issue with sailor moon) and more probably. he's always looking for faults in anything people like. with pokemon, it was that it's a ripoff of digimon; with power rangers, it was that it's just a localization of super sentai, and for this reason he actually likes sailor moon because it isnt derivative. not sure what his feelings are on g4 mlp being a reboot. maybe he prefers the older gens? g3 mlp is really girly and pink though even more than g4 is so maybe he would just be a gen 1 fan and also watch mlpfim. (speculation) the wiki lists his occupation(s) as "brony, hacker, weeb" which is a really good list of things to be into and none of them are jobs. and he HAS had a job at least once is the funny part. he worked at the front desk of a random hotel. anyways from this we can conclude that he probably likes certain anime, likely the more obscure and plot-heavy ones. and he also is really apeshit bananas at computers. he knows ALL THE CODES. all of them. he spends most of his time on the computer or in bed watching anime. the shelves inbetween? i like to imagine he keeps his figures and toys there. i think he's a dc comics fan, but i can't remember if its canon or not.
he's a troglodyte dwelling almost exclusively in the basement of the acachalla house, or sometimes even in lower, secret basements. one time the acachallas moved and they left him there, and when they came back to get some stuff he rose out of the front lawn like a zombie and was like nuh uh uh this is my house now. at least once he was eaten by giant dirt worms under the house. in canon it is stated that he is not allowed to leave the basement, which seems abusive to me. i like to headcanon that spencer only THINKS he's not allowed to leave the basement because that's how it used to be in his original family that he ran away from. but thats not canon; the canon is that he's basically a captive of the acachalla household. he digs tunnels and becomes allied with the mole people but overall it doesnt seem like he minds living underground. anyways.
content warning: cult. also child death and suicide? i guess. before being adopted by the acachallas, spencer was the leader of a cult worshipping an entity known as the spence. the spence was an extremely powerful god who died or something and the mission of the cult was to resurrect him. little spencer, only 12 years old at most, killed himself in an act of ritual sacrifice. he became the mighty spence incarnate, and after gaining new life, he immediately started killing the members of his cult (because they couldnt correctly answer his trivia questions or something), and ordering them to kill one another. then he flew away on the back of a giant seagull all the way across dimensions to little butts north carolina. and then presumably his debut video happened (he goes to gamestop where gertrude is working and annoys her so much with his questions that she beats him to death with a crowbar).
O.K. now some random things. starting with the one i never shut up about: he's definitely bisexual and/or nonbinary BASED ON the situation that occurs in the killer teletubby video when he meets mabeline, a girl cosplaying as johnny ghost. he expresses interest or perhaps attraction to her (??) based on her appearing almost exactly like johnny ghost but having a girl's voice. he says, and i quote, "am i seeing... someone as hot as johnny ghost, but yet also with a feminine voice? that's like the best of both worlds, i dont know where i sign up" like there is no cishet way to interpret that i fear. anyways he also canonically has ocd and at one point, a fear of grass. a lot of this information you can just get from reading the fandom wiki but im so so so glad you asked me instead. he has a level 67 warlock in world of warcraft. he is literally the joker. his braces are so rusty they can be used as magical bullets. he's such an enigma i cant help but be obsessed with him. anyways thats the official spencer guide by me the spence enthusiast. also i have a little doll of him hes awesome
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Do you think reboot Vergil would've ACTUALLY been a better ruler than Mundus? (I kinda know the answer is "No", because like, *points to reboot Vergil's disregard for humanity*, but also being a better ruler than Mundus is such a low bar I'm not sure Vergil could've done worse. Maybe a better question would be if Vergil could've been a good ruler period, rather than just "better than Mundus".) Would Dante (and maybe Kat) ruling with him of helped anything?
I think he may have been better then Mundus, at least at the beginning.
Ok so I ramble about this one a lot asdfghj so there's a ton more under the cut! But the long story short is: I think Vergil could start out better then Mundus before he becomes corrupted by his desire for more power. Also Kat propaganda somewhere there's always Kat propaganda somewhere.
My view on reboot Vergil tends to be more...charitable I'll say? Then a lot of the fandom? But my view of him tends to be very shaped by this idea that the person obsessed with power we see later hasn't really fully formed yet. What we're seeing rather is someone with good intentions who is ruthless in that he see's the end of the tunnel and is going to do everything possible to get there because he believes, regardless of what it costs, that it is worth it in the end.
I think this is a key difference in the Vergil's. I've said before that the Dante's to me are very similar people just at different points in his life (I can see how a reboot Dante becomes a preboot Dante). The Vergils to me, however, are very different.
Preboot Vergil is driven by this belief rooted in his trauma that achieving power could save him. That nothing matters but power because he has spent his life without it. He needs it for safety and security and because, if he had it, maybe things would have gone differently.
Reboot Vergil, however, is driven in a very different way. Genuinely I think what we see in both the game and in Downfall is rich kid who has never been told no a day in his life who has always been held up to a pedestal who believes in his own superiority because he has always been told he has it finally being told no. Beyond that, though, we are dealing with a rich kid who has neve been told no who see's himself as a revolutionary. This enables his 'the means justify the ends' mentality that we see in the added Definitive Edition scene (how he's willing to sacrifice people when Dante is not).
I talk about this in the 'list of kat and vergil things' post around mission 12 but I'm going to talk about it again now asdfghjk but I think the thing with the Order that people often forget is they believe themselves to be a resistance group that is willing to do anything for humanities liberation. Now, I don't think any of them (Vergil included) were prepared for the reality of what that means but they are all going into this with a mentality of 'there are going to be casualties'. Vergil then is coming at it from a 'there are going to be casualties and it will all be worth it if we achieve our goal'. This isn't a like, moral stand on if his mentality is right or not just like where it's coming from.
With all of this in mind, while Vergil does see himself as superior to humans and disregards a lot of them during the course of the game, I don't think it's out of a place of dislike toward them. If anything, we know he care's a lot about them (or at least Kat who I argue also is symbolic of humanity in the game).
So it's with keeping that in mind that I think, for at least a little while, he'd do better then Mundus. He'd probably dedicate time towards keeping humanity safe and keeping the demons he now controls at bay, all of that.
The problem then is the age old statement 'power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely'. Because he is very susceptible to the allure of power and the corruption it brings.
Due to that superiority and due to that background he's raised in I do feel like having such power would go to Vergil's head and he'd become power hungry and tyrannical. It's this, I think, that would make him more akin to the power hungry Vergil we know.
So, long story short there, I think he could be a good leader for a little while. The Order seemed to be smooth and like him after all. His intentions are good. But I think, over time, he'd definitely become power hungry, paranoid ruler mostly focused on himself.
Now, I think this could be avoided. With the right leadership team. If he listened to them.
Dante, I don't think, would make a great leader from where we left him. He means well, he's a good defender, he cares about humanity and his own humanity deeply. But he just...doesn't seem like he would want to? Nor does he seem like he'd know where to start. He'd be sort of stumbling through it, even with Vergil also there. I tend to characterize him in the post game, even with how people look to him for guidance, as someone just sort of trying his best to help people and deeply unsure on how to actually lead. I also think with how him and Vergil clash, they'd have a difficult time leading together at least not without a lot of personal work done for them to work together better.
I do worry in a sort of king role, though, that Dante is similarly corruptible. He's a good person and all but we also know that reboot Dante has very hedonistic tendencies and has grown up without a lot of control over his life. I worry that, given that sort of power and time, he might give into that power and lose sight of what he's supposed to be doing, turning it into some sort of party for him. This could change over time, of course. If he got settled more in the leadership role and wasn't overcome by it's stresses then maybe, but this is my worry with him.
Kat, on the other hand, I think would do far better in that role. Perhaps I am biased asdfghjk but she did seemingly lead the Order alongside him and knows Vergil a lot better and has some experience in leadership. But more importantly I think it's important that, since she's human, she is actually personally effected by what happens to humans. Her interest in humanity thriving and it's safety is deeply personal to her because, well, she is human. I think this makes her the most effective co ruler , should she be able to put her foot down.
At least, that's my two cents!
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