#but at least that was stockinette

[flecks-of-stardust]

fixing cables is annoying. i just spent 30 minutes on five rows : D

[ruby-red-inky-blue]

almost done with my first ever sock!

This was supposed to be just a fun on-the-go project with not a lot of expectations and very cheap yarn, because my main project rn is a bulky cardigan and also just endless stockinette that looks nice but does not provide adequate enrichment. And this pattern is doing all of those things! I thought they were going to be too loose at first, but they're doing surprisingly alright.

However, I noped out of the reinforced heel and did a very simple one instead, and, uh... I think these socks might wear through if I look at them too hard, let alone walk on them for a while. Which is a shame, because I'm actually starting to really like them. Alas, I refuse to unravel half this sock at this point. Am vaguely tempted to make the other heel stronger - but then I'd just have two mismatched socks, which probably doesn't make them any more practical. Whelp, I guess these are gonna become strictly couch-and-bed socks...

[dhwty-writes]

sometimes i just really don't know about my thought process. i feel like if the problem is "none of my sweaters fit anymore" the obvious solution should not be "i'll just knit one!" and yet. here we are

[deermouth]

have you ever done embroidery? i tried it when i was young and never got the hang of it

i have and it's a hobby i really enjoy and want to improve at but i haven't figured out the right impetus for my brain to keep me keeping at it. i love textile arts in general (esp bc I'm not really a visual artist in the sense of drawing, and bc soo many blood relatives of mine are textile artists) but feel like i'm kind of in a holding pattern til i can figure out how to get myself to work on projects consistently.

[roboticchibitan]

Okay, I've made enough "blease knit gauge swatches. Swatchless projects killedy family" posts. This post is an informational post a out gauge swatches. It will mainly be written in knitting terms because that is my main craft but it applies to crochet too. Even if you're an experienced crafter, you might learn something from this post. I talk about different reasons to make a swatch and some reasons a swatch might lie to you.

What is gauge?

Gauge is the size of your stitches, ie how wide and tall they are. It can be affected by the way you hold the yarn, your tension, and your needle/hook size. In knitting the style you knit can affect this, with the tendency being that English style is usually, but not always, tighter than continental. When I went from knitting English style to knitting Norwegian style, my gauge drastically changed to be much looser.

What is a gauge swatch?

A gauge swatch is a small piece of work that you use to measure your stitches per inch and rows per inch gauge. "Standard" gauge swatches are 4in/10cm squares, but often you'll see different sizes, especially for lace patterns that have you test knitting a certain chart or stitch

Why do we make gauge swatches?

We make gauge swatches to check if our gauge is the same as the pattern designer's gauge. Because you want your gauge to be the same as the pattern designer's so you know your size XL sweater will actually be size XL or your six foot in diameter shawl will actually be six feet across. Or that your airy and beautiful lace will actually be airy and beautiful and not too dense or too loose.

We also might swatch if we are substituting yarns. For example, a blocked lace swatch of wool will have different dimensions than a blocked lace swatch of pure silk because silk is less stretchy than wool. So if you are substituting fibers, you want to know that you'll like the finished item and might swatch a bit of the pattern before starting in earnest so you don't waste your time making something you'll be dissatisfied with.

There's also some differences between yarns of the same fiber and same weight. Some lace weight yarn is categorized as lace weight while being 600 yds per 100g, and some lace weight yarn is 800 yds or 1000 yds per 100g. So you should knit a swatch when substituting yarn even if they are the same fiber and weight if they are different yardage per gram ratios.

Do I always need to make a gauge swatch?

I talk a lot about the importance of gauge swatches but the honest answer is no, you do not always need to make a gauge swatch. If you are making something that doesn't require a certain size or airiness of pattern, like a bag or a simple scarf, you don't need to do a gauge swatch.

How do I make a gauge swatch?

Most patterns have a simple gauge listed, such as 22 stitches by 18 rows is 4in/10cm square in stockinette. However, some patterns have an "in pattern" gauge swatch or a separate pattern/chart for their swatch. So you cast on however many stitches (I often cast on a few more than the swatch calls for, but you don't have to), and knit that many rows in whatever pattern is specifed. If it's stockinette, knit stockinette. If it's "in pattern," locate the repeating part of the pattern and knit the designated amount of rows. If there is a separate pattern/chart for the swatch, knit as directed. Bind off. Don't measure on the needle, it will lie to you.

Then, you want to treat the swatch how you'll treat the finished object. If you're not going to block the finished object, measure it as is. But if you're going to block the finished object (and most things you should tbh blocking hides so many sins), you get the swatch wet, pin it out to shape, and then leave it to dry.

THEN! And nobody talks about this step for some reason and it's been the reason swatches lied to me in the past. Unpin it and let it rest. Different people give different time amounts for this resting. I'd let it rest at least three hours but some people recommend up to a week. The reason for this resting period is that many yarns, especially wool and other animal fibers, have elasticity to them. They'll rebound back a bit. Cotton and linen will have less rebound than things like wool. I'm not 100% sure where acrylic falls on that scale since I hate the texture of most acrylics.

OK I made and blocked the swatch and let it rest, what do I do now?

Now you measure! Does your stitches/rows ratio match up with the pattern designer's? Compare your gauge to the listed gauge. If it is different, you need to adjust needle/hook sizes. If your swatch is larger than the given measurements, your gauge is too loose and you need to go down one (or several) needle/hook sizes. If your swatch is smaller, your gauge is too tight and you need to go up one (or more) needle/hook sizes. At this point you can say "it's probably just one size up/down" and start your project, or you can repeat the entire swatch process. If unsure, repeat.

That's cool, can we see an example?

Sure! Here are two swatches I have pinned out.

I didn't follow my own advice about swatching and just started the Sapphira Lace Shawl on the recommended size 4 needles, but I got all the way through the first repeat of the body chart and then frogged the whole thing because my gauge was so loose you couldn't even see the pattern.

The Sapphira Lace Shawl has a separate pattern just for the gauge swatch and says "gauge is not important, swatch in lace pattern and use comfortable needle size to achieve airy lace that is not too holey." Too holey means that the stitches and yarn overs are so loose you cannot properly make out the pattern at all. That's what happened when I used size 4 needles.

The swatches you see here were knitted on size 2 (top) and 3 (bottom) needles. I knitted the bottom swatch first but was unsure if I liked the result so I went down another needle size and knitted a second swatch.

You'll notice the size 2 swatch is smaller and it's easier to make out the design. The stitches are smaller and denser, so the places where decreases and plain knit stitches are grouped together are easier to see. Versus the size 3 swatch where the stitches are looser and it's a bit harder to make out the design, though not impossible. On size four needled my stitches were so loose you couldn't really make out the design at all. With these swatches pinned out, I personally like the size 2 swatch better. However! That may change once I let the swatches rest for a while!

This yarn is an alpaca/silk mix. Alpaca is known for stretching out and not holding its shape. It's not ideal for lace. Silk is very good at holding its shape, but not very stretchy. I'm hoping together they make an okay yarn for lace because separately neither is my preference for lace. It was what I had on hand that was dyeable. Alpaca has some elasticity so it will spring back once I unpin it and let it rest. At that point, I may like the size 3 swatch better. I won't know until I get there.

I'll try to remember to post pictures of the rested swatches tomorrow to show if there's any difference. I might work up another swatch on size 4 needles to show what "too holey" looks like but that's more of a "how to knit lace" educational swatch than a "how to knit swatches" educational swatch so I might not bother.

That's it, that's the post. I'm sure my knitting mutuals will have comments and things to add so check the notes.

[we-re-always-alright]

Luckily I made the cookies to take to my aunt’s house yesterday, so today it’s just baking a loaf of bread, but honestly, I’m having a harder time to decide what project to take with me.

Do I bring the brioche sweater?? The mohair ombré cardigan?? The trusty double sided hat?? The blackwork embroidery??

[iknityounot]

Ok, so my last post about the issues of plus sized patterns popped off in a way I did not expect??

I just want to come back and say: making patterns is hard work and especially those who make their patterns free online, it is a LOT of hard work that the designer gets nothing back for. I didn't mean for it to sound like I thought that was an easy thing to do.

But, like a lot of people pointed out in the tags and comments, fashion world has already done the leg work for us. There are size charts and mathematical equations you can do to scale your pieces in such a way that at least matches what you would see in stores. I think, honestly, that this is where the break down is. I think pattern makers take bust/chest measurements, and scale all of their numbers from there, without thinking about their piece as clothing (instead of just a knitting project, if that makes sense).

And I think that's where fat people get left behind. Because our bodies don't scale the way you would scale up a hat or mittens or something. It takes added work and added care to think about fat people and how our bodies look and work (hence why my previous post said "please talk to a fat person"--it's not that we know how to make patterns, but that we can advise what works for our bodies!)

I want to end on a helpful note, if I can:

My favorite pattern maker for plus sized projects is Jacqueline Cieslak!

I have bought a couple of patterns from them, and I have never had the not-for-fat-bodies problems I have had before. They have a handful of different styles, many of which are very customizable. Not to mention that the patterns themselves are VERY thorough. They link to tutorial videos they have made for anything more complicated than a stockinette stitch, and have lots of detailed diagrams showing different measurements for different parts of the project.

Anytime I am making a piece for myself or my other plus sized love ones, I go to Jacqueline first! Hopefully their patterns will help anyone who identified with my previous post find some patterns that work for them!

[milkweedman]

I'm at "can knit, but requires lots of focus". I've been knitting for like 6 or 7 years at least now, I just can't remember sequences in my head, so the overwhelming majority of my knitting is plain stockinette, lol.

[journeyman-tier-fibercraft]

Man finished! I rate him a solid very cute out of ten.

This guy was published as a doily insert plus edging for a linen table cloth (seen Here). The linen part was of zero interest to me so I knit him as a stand alone doily and I very much prefer him as such. Chart A (the "doily") and Chart B (the "edging") match up for knitting in the round as a single doily.

Below the read more is going to refer a lot to the charts, which I got from the amazing Ramona French. While this is the only version of the charts I've seen, looking at the Rav page it seems to also be cut into A and B charts in the same spot. It makes sense in context of the original pattern but I don't like it, both for the reason i'll get to below and also because I straight up just don't like how it looks in the original pattern.

Even without the alterations I'll propose, I think he's a good doily just as he is. The problems I have are barely noticeable/nitpicky now that he's blocked out.

Starting with the edging vs doily distinction. This problem starts with the original pattern since it has you knit chart A for the insertion and chart B for the edging around every insertion and the linen tablecloth edges. But divorcing the actual charts from the linen, the charts really should be rows 1-31 of A as the "doily" and Chart A rows 33-41 and all of chart B for the "edging". The reason I'm so specific about this is because it's focus for any changes I would make. The end of chart A and the beginning of chart B flow together perfectly. It's where the doily/center flower ends (Row 31) and the edging begins (Row 33) that is the problem spot.

(I should've picked a darker colour foam to block this out on, sorry if it's hard to see)

The large center petals (doily) end with a yo, twisted knit 1, yo at the very tip. Then the set up row for the edging is all knits with a yarn over... that is off center of the petal. In a more personal gripe, I don't like how the mesh in the flower portion looks next to the edging. It's not bad (and would probably bother me less if it weren't off center) but it's not my favourite.

The mesh not looking nice next to the edging is an easy fix that comes directly from a doily that has a very similar feel to this one. Sechsblatt is another doily I've knit and also has a 6 petaled flower with mesh between the petals and an edging, but it's edging is separated by several rows of plain stockinette. In my revised chart I added just one odd numbered row of stockinette. I'm not 100% on this change, it's something that you just can't know if it looks good until it's swatched out.

The change I am 100% on is centering the yarn over to be directly above the tip of the center flower petal. There's a number of ways to do so, I'm honestly surprised it wasn't done for the original pattern. My revised chart moves the k2tog on row 35 to directly over the center stitch of the petal, which required moving the start of the repeat one stitch left. This also needs swatched out but I'm fairly confident it'll line up, at least better that just being blatantly off center like it is in the original, and since the k2tog was just moved instead of being added, the stitch count should still work out.

All other changes to the chart were simply made for personal preference/printing convenience.

Eventually I'll knit this revised version but I don't have a timeline on that yet, knitting the same thing multiple times is bad for my attention span. Regardless I would wait because I want to see how the crochet bind off holds up. I usually pin out every chain of the crochet bind out individually but I thought pinning two together looked really good on this particular doily. It made the blocking process a lot tighter. That could've been because I accidentally stretched it too much in the first place (I forgot this doily was 6 parts instead of 8) but it was incredibly funny to behold.

[gardenvarietycrafts]

WIP Wednesday

I separated the sleeves on the cardigan and now it actually looks like a cardigan! I've also finished the increases for the V-neck, so the rest of the body is all just plain stockinette worked flat, which is probably my least favorite thing to do, but it should at least be smooth sailing until I get to the sleeves. (I'm definitely going to have to figure out the decreases on my own, since the pattern as written will make them way to big around. I have some ideas already, just haven't solidified my plan yet.)

Pattern is modified from the Step by Step Cardigan

Not much progress on the Pincha shawl. Last week was a slow crafting week due for health reasons, so I didn't work on this one vwry much at all.

Pattern is the Pincha Shawl

Yarn is Universal Yarns Bamboo Pop in #217 Tribe

Socks for this week are using up some stash yarns! I only have about 50g of the self-striping yarn, so I'm pairing it with the leftovers of the teal socks I knit for myself last year. Both of these yarns were received from friends' destashes, so it feels nice to finally be using them up.

[clove-pinks]

Given some ongoing discussions, might I ask,on this fine 1830s Thursday, if you have any contemporary portrayals of men in fashions that make a good display of their legs?:D

Do I ever! By coincidence, last night I was looking through the Gavarni artwork in the Boston Public Library collection, and found Un Bal - À la Chaussée d'Antin.

Men in evening costume galore, with their elegant tiny feet and snug pantaloons, but unfortunately the size of the image and resolution isn't very good.

There's at least some evidence of men padding their calves, as late as 1834. That might be the case for a gentleman emulating the look of this 1835 fashion plate (Rijksmuseum):

The 1830s may not be a time of male legs vacuum-sealed in stockinette like the 1810s, but they remain an area of focus, especially as stripes and checks appear with the 1840s on the horizon. From La Mode in 1830, a fashion plate after a drawing by Paul Gavarni (Rijksmuseum):

The fellow in the red hunting outfit has an appreciative audience!

[autisticlittleman]

GUYS I'm pissed. I misread this knitting pattern for a sweater vest, reading "until work measures 11 inches from MARKED ROW" as "until work measures 11 inches" so now my vest is a good 3 or 4 inches too short. if I wanted to fix it I would have to frog at LEAST 40 rows on multiple worked pieces and redo them, PLUS another few inches of stockinette. I really don't want to just live with the vest being too short but UGHH if only I had the reading comprehension to have noticed before I started doing all the shaping.

it's not just a solid color, either! I HAD to go ahead and make it striped. 14 color changes in those 40 rows. god damn it.

[merlions]

Cabled Cat Motif

Posted on request by @deathreceptors 😊 lmk if you need any extra explanation or tips or translations of my notation or anything!

Written to be worked flat, but can be made to work in round by just switching even numbered rows' Ks to Ps and vice versa! Aside from row 14, all even rows are just just K-ing the Ks and P-ing the Ps of your previous row anyways :)

Cable notation:

KC2B (knit cable 2 back): slip 2 sts to cable needle and hold in back, K next two sts on left needle, K sts from cable needle. Leans embossed shape outwards to the right.

KC2F: same as KC2B but hold cable needle with 2 stitches in front instead. Leans shape outwards to the left.

PC1B: slip 1 st to cab needle, hold in back, K1 from left needle, P1 from cab. Leans shape inwards to the right.

PC1F: slip 1 st to cab, hold in front, P1 from left needle, K1 from cab. Leans shape inwards to the left.

Pattern:

CO 14 or more sts. Motif is 14 sts wide (st count increases and then decreases again, which adds to 3D embossing effect, but starts and ends with 14sts) and this pattern only describes the motif w.o any border, but I always find a border of at least 2 or 3 stockinette sts, on either side of the motif P block, for contrast, looks really nice!

(RS) Row 0a (setup): stockinette 2 or 3 rows, or as many as you'd like

(WS) Row 0b (setup): K across

(RS) R1: P6, M1R, K2, M1L, P6 (16sts)

(WS) R2: K7, P4, K7

R3: P4, KC2B, KC2F, P4

R4: K4, P8, K4

R5: P2, KC2B, K4, KC2F, P2

R6: K2, P12, K2

R7: P2, M1R, K12, M1L, P2 (18sts)

R8: K2, P14, K2

R9: P2, SL1, K12, SL1, P2

R10: rep row 8

R11: rep row 9

R12: rep row 8

R13: rep row 9

R14: K2, P6, K2, P6, K2

R15: P2, K4, PC1B, P2, PC1F, K4, P2

R16: K2, P5, K4, P5, K2

R17: P2, SL1, K2, PC1B, P4, PC1F, K2, SL1, P2

R18: K2, P4, K6, P4, K2

R19: P2, SL1, K1, K2TOG, P6, SSK, K1, SL1, P2 (16 sts)

R20: K2, P3, K6, P3, K2

R21: P2, PC1F, K1, P6, K1, PC1B, P2

R22: K3, P2, K6, P2, K3

R23: P3, K2TOG, P6, SSK, P3 (14 sts)

(WS) R24: K across

(RS) R25: K across

(WS) R26: P across

Cont in stockinette or whatever you'd like! But I do find it looks best to close the shape off on top with one row of purls and then a minimum of 2 rows of knits, when looking at the RS of the piece.

There are like at least 3 different variances I tried and I liked this one, but I could also see it being a little jackal-like with the long ears, and it might be your preference to do the 2nd decrease row a row or two earlier than in this version. Another variance is switching one or two of the cables and/or decreases for the ears to the inner side of the ears to make them taper more to the center of each half of the face instead of following the outside line. I didn't like that shape as much for my project but everyone's taste is different!

I sewed on eyes but it works maybe even better with safety eyes. And sewing on the whiskers add a huge amount, really changes the shape and makes it look really good and cat-like really quickly.

Happy craftin yall! 🥰

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Hi! As a fellow knitter with a love for embroidery and cosplay, your Grishaverse kniting projects sound amazing! 😍 Would you be willing to share progress photos as you go? Or perhaps talk a little more about the designs, patterns, or techniques you'll use? So excited for you!

-sixofcrowsdaydreams (side blog)

Hiya, thanks so much for your interest - I'd love to share more!

My current Grishaverse knitting projects are a Healer kefta (which will probably be more along the lines of kefta-inspired than an accurate reproduction because of the material etc) and a full-size blanket of the Six Of Crows book cover (uk/us paperback edition).

For the Kefta, I'm adapting a free cardigan pattern that I'll link if anyone would like it. The pattern outlines the structure and shaping, which is mostly what I'm using it for, but is designed in a specific basket rib that I'm not using; I decided to use stockinette stitch because I think that it will be easier to embroider since I'm planning on using the Swiss Darning method. I'm teaching myself the Swiss Darning method from the wonderful book "KNIT: step by step" (Vikki Haffenden and Frederica Patmore), which I absolutely love and highly recommend. I just checked and the RRP for the book is £14.99 but I got mine for £7.99 so it might be worth looking around for where it's cheapest. I'm knitting it with DK weight yarn and so far I have the back and two front pieces complete and am currently working on the first sleeve. I used a free digital art app called Ibis Paint X to sketch out my designs for the embroidery and then overlayed them with a grid - I'm treating each square as one stitch.

The blanket it being knit in chunky weight yarn using a fair isle pattern I designed by using the same digital art app to draw and the book cover, overlay it with a grid, pixelate it, and slightly simplify the colour scheme (that was mostly due to the availability of the yarn since there are so many shades of grey in the cover). I am relatively new to colourwork, or at the very least colourwork on this scale, and this was a massive undertaking I went into with unearned confidence. Unfortunately I have now realised a massive mistake I made in the fair isle technique that means I'm going to have to undo everything I've done so far and restart, but luckily I've realised it early enough that I'm not even a quarter of the way through the project yet; if I'd done more it would be more annoying, as it stands it's not too bad but it is a setback. I've yet to decide how I'm going to back the blanket once it's complete, I have two options: 1) sew it onto either white or black fleece, 2) knit a Crooked Kingdom book cover the same size and back them onto each other. The pros of the first one is that it would give it a finished and hopefully gorgeous look, plus would be super cosy. The pro of the second option is that it would be awesome, but the con is that it might not look as neat and finished. On top of that, if I back the first one with fleece I can then knit a Crooked Kingdom one and back that with fleece, which means I get two blankets. So yeah I haven't decided yet, but I'll see how it goes and keep you guys updated.

Thanks so much for your question! If anyone has any specific requests for me to talk about regarding the knitting patterns/processes/techniques/ etc then absolutely feel free and yeah if people are interested then I will definitely put some update photos on here as I go as well :)

[chthonicathenean]

Today I have yet another example of "There is ALWAYS something new to discover"!

I've been knitting for at least 15 years, and over the past couple of years have been exploring more cast-ons and bind-offs if my project is more than just a basic stockinette or garter stitch. I only recently learned to space out my stitches with long-tail cast on to end up with more stretch and now I've finally seen a wonderful solution to "how to figure out how long of a tail to start with"!

Instead of using a "tail", use another strand of yarn completely. If you have multiple skeins of the same color that's easy enough and if you only have one, use both ends. This is going to be an absolute game-changer for me, I had been avoiding any cast-ons using a long tail because I didn't want to end up with several inches of yarn dangling and tangling in my project during the fiddly first couple of rows or, even worse, having a project with a lot of stitches and running out of tail yarn before finishing the row!

[summerlycoris]

Is it really a birthday party if you wake up in a hospital?

chapter 9- innatentive signs on the wall.

Current chapter- AO3 link

Chronological timeline- tumblr link

********

Mom: Good morning Cassie. How have you been going up there? Have you made any friends? 

Cassie: Yeah. I guess. I've met this girl, called Siobhan. We're not exactly friends yet, but we've been talking recently. How about you?

Mom: I've been doing well. I’m sending you these texts, to let you know I'll be up tomorrow. Remember that brace for your leg they talked about, at the hospital? I've managed to book you in, for it to be casted. 

Mom: I’ll also be up on the 9th, to see how you are going at rehab. I know you’re still disappointed about that ghost tour- so after your sessions, we can go out somewhere special, if you want?

Cassie: That’d be so cool! Thank you! Could we go to the zoo? There's some animals I'd like to see there.

Mom: Yes, I can take you to the zoo. If you're good at rehab. I'll be checking with Mrs Morrison so please behave, okay?

Cassie: Okay.

________

If Cassie could feel the plaster going onto her left leg, she was sure she'd hate it. Because she hated the feel of gross, sticky things.

The orthopedist had started a while ago, putting the bandage over the stockinette and wrapping it all the way up her leg. And now, it was getting soaked, so it could become a cast. She needed to keep it straight. With her ankle at a ninety- degree angle, which is really hard to do when that leg is the one that keeps wanting to spasm.

The only good thing was that her Mom was there, sitting beside her, and that she'd been told about this before she'd even gone up to Salt Lake City. 

She'd been approved for a leg brace back at the St George Children's hospital. It would help keep her stable, and help her walk on it. That's what the cast was for. She'd only need to stay still for a little bit longer…

"Once this dries, we'll cut it off you, okay?" Said the orthopedist. He must've seen the squeamish look on her face, even though Cassie had been trying to hide it. She nodded. Mom squeezed her hand. 

"Starbright, after we're done here, did you want to go visit Petr? He's still living up here, and I think it'd be good for you to see him." Mom asked.

Cassie wasn't sure. Petr- Uncle Miskovsky- was Gregory's dad. He was nice, but Cassie barely knew him. He'd been too sick to spend much time with her and Gregory.

She knew he'd want to ask about Gregory. Because he always did. He'd ask if Gregory had gotten back into contact with her, and her Mom, anytime they talked to him. And she didn't know if she could pretend that she still missed him, in the same way she had before everything. All her feelings about Gregory were… complicated now. 

She wasn't sure what to say, until Mom spoke up again. "I think you should come with me, to visit him. He's gone through some of the same things you have. He can give you some advice."

And that made sense. Kinda? Last time she'd seen him, he'd been using a wheelchair to get around. His legs couldn't stay steady underneath him anymore.

Though, his situation was different to hers... Cassie was hopefully going to get better. Or at least, not worse. But Uncle Miskovsky wasn't going to have that luck. She'd only really known him for four years, and had seen him get worse over time. 

But maybe those differences weren't a big deal? Because she'd learnt some stuff off Lawrence, and his situation was different to hers too. "Yeah, that'd be nice."

The orthopedist was drawing a line up her cast. So this is nearly over?

Mom stayed with her as the cast finished drying, and was cut away. It didn't take long. But it was difficult. Mostly because her foot did not want to stay at a ninety- degree angle long enough for it to dry. And her knee kept wanting to bend. It was uncomfortable at best. Painful at worst. The medication was helping- this could be worse. But that didn’t make this good.  

"Well, Cassie. We'll see about making this brace, and sending it to you in about a week." The orthopedist said to her, then turned to Marcela. "Do you want this sent to your house, or will she still be in Salt Lake City?"

"Her rehab would be great. That way, they can teach her how to use it." Mom said.

Cassie put her left moonboot back on, for now. 

_________

Over a year ago, Uncle Miskovsky had lived with Auntie and Gregory. Then Gregory went missing. Then Auntie did. Now, he lives up here in an assisted living center. 

She'd heard whispers between him and her Mom before he'd left. He could have stayed in Hurricane. Or even St George. But he didn't want to. 

‘Everywhere I look, I see them , Marcela. I can't take it. ’

It had taken them a while to get to the assisted living facility. Cassie wasn't used to transferring in and out of the car yet, and her Mom wasn't used to folding and unfolding the chair. 

Luckily, she was able to convince Mom to not push her. “Mom, I'm fine. Besides, the more practice I get, the better.”

When they checked the front desk, the receptionist told them he wasn't currently in his room, but pointed out that he liked to play Bingo today. She gave them some directions to follow, leading down a well lit maze of corridors. There were plenty of windows, and plenty of people walking through, that Cassie sometimes had to swerve to avoid. Everytime that happened, she could catch Mom giving her a weird look.

They got to the Bingo hall, and saw Uncle Miskovsky, through the open doorway separating them from the bingo round. Cassie could hear the host from inside, calling out numbers. After a few, it looked like some elderly lady got a bingo, because she jumped up and started waving her arm frantically. Cassie couldn't help but giggle. An old man, sitting next to Uncle Miskovsky, poked his shoulder, and pointed towards Cassie and Mom. He waved, and made moves to leave the bingo table. Until Mom waved him down ‘ It's okay, we'll wait for you.’ She mouthed. He seemed to understand, chatting with the man, not hearable over the loud calling of numbers.

He wasn't that much older than Cassie's Mom. Maybe ten years older, at most. But he looked like he was, with wrinkles and worry lines running through his face and his pale hands. He hadn't looked like that before Gregory went missing. Before his family had gone missing, Uncle Miskovsky had looked like an older version of Gregory. Same brown hair, but with light blue eyes. Now… He still did. But even older, and sicker. His hair had a lot more gray speckled through it than before. 

Cassie and Mom went to sit at a nearby set of lounge chairs, and a coffee table, waiting for the round to finish.

Once the round ended, he came out after the crowd dispersed, and over to them. "Ah, Marcela. You brought some good luck with you today! I won fifty dollars after seeing you and Cassie." His chair looked built up around him, and was drivable using a joystick, like what the arcade machines had.

"Well, I'm glad to hear that Petr. Have they been treating you well here?" Mom asked, getting up to give him a hug. 

"Things have been great. I've got company, and a roof over my head. What more could I ask for?" He said it with a smile. But Cassie caught an undercurrent of bitterness through that statement. Mom patted him on the shoulder, and went back to sit in her chair. 

He turned to Cassie, looking her over. And she braced herself for an awkward question like 'how'd you do that to yourself?' or 'are you going to get better?'

Or 'has Gregory got in touch with you yet?'

"Cassie, did you know your shoes are mismatched? Is this one of those youth fashion trends?" He said, barely holding in a laugh. 

She blinked in confusion. "Oh- no, this isn't a fashion trend… yet. But it could be- I'm a bit of a trendsetter." She joked. And then he really did laugh. It was a quiet laugh, but then Petr was a quiet man, even though he could be boisterous. He just didn't have enough air to speak loudly anymore. "But, uh. Yeah. I've still got a moon boot on- used to have two, but my right leg's better now. So I can have a regular shoe for that one."

She looked down at her shoe. It was a new red sneaker, that Mom must’ve brought her recently. It was a little big on her, and kind of plain. But pretty enough, with sparkles on the sides and black laces.

She wondered where her Roxy light ups had gone. Mom’s probably left them at home, in case I lose them. Or maybe she’s trying to get the light up function working again?

(They’d given up the ghost after Monty knocked her into the sewerage pipe.)

"That makes sense. I heard from your mother what happened to you." Please don't pity me- "did you have fun on your adventure?"

" Petr! Don't encourage her." Mom said, giving him a half-hearted slap on the hand. He gave her one back, and laughed. 

"Seriously though- I remember being a teenager. One time, I went with my friends to explore an abandoned school. It was an adventure I'll never forget. Some experiences are worth every consequence."

Mom rolled her eyes. "And what, pray tell, were the consequences of that ?"

He slumped down a little in his chair. "We got locked in by accident. Got stuck there for two days before someone heard us screaming and called for help. It was a really interesting… conversation with our mothers afterwards, let me tell you. But it was still worth it! Even if I can still feel the welts forty years on."

Cassie couldn't help but laugh at that. Then remembered- he'd asked her a question. "Um. I'm not sure if I'd call it fun. But it was… interesting? It was pretty scary- like going through a haunted house. Except the monsters were real-" She realized just as she said it, that she shouldn't have included that part. She hadn't told Mom about the animatronics chasing her down. 

" 'Monster s ?' Wasn't there just one person pretending to be Gregory?" Mom asked.

Cassie fidgeted with a loose bit of hair. "Well, yeah. There was only one person chasing me… but the animatronics were following me around. And they looked really scary. They were just trying to help, but I got scared and ran away from them." That was only kind of a lie. Compounding on another lie. Eventually it'll start charging interest. The animatronics were trying to help her- help her to avoid releasing the monster. They just had a very scary, potentially lethal, way of going about it.

Mom squished up her mouth, clearly suspicious. But she didn't say anything. 

"Well, Cassie-" Uncle Miskovsky started- "I'm just glad you got out of there okay."

" Okay?! Petr, she nearly died of sepsis . She's stuck in a wheelchair -" 

"She doesn't look stuck to me-" he said, looking over at Cassie. She couldn't help but slump down slightly in her seat, about as far as her brace would allow it. 

Mom clicked her tongue in frustration. "Well yes, but you know what I mean . Her life's going to be so different now… what will the other kids at her school think? She's already had issues about bullying in the past-"

She couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm gonna go, um, get a drink. I'll see you both soon." She fought to keep the undercurrent of bitterness to just an undercurrent. Pushing herself backwards, and away from all of that .

"Cassie- I'll go with you-" Mom started, standing up from her chair.

"No- I'm a big girl, I know where the cafe is. Have fun catching up. I'll see you soon." She waved, with a plastered-on grin. Then she left, before anyone else could start up.

________

That was so. Freaking. Embarrassing .

She hadn't gone to the cafe. She had instead rolled around the common areas of the center. Seeing people, some walking around, some pushing themselves in a chair, or pushing a walker. Some who needed to be pushed. They looked at her. She looked at them. But, hopefully, not judgmentally. They looked at her because she was a stranger. She looked at them because they were strangers.

Cassie had her watch on. It'd only been a few minutes since she'd left. But if she took too long, Mom would ring her asking where she'd gone. 

She didn't want to go back just yet, though. Just to listen to them talking about her, like she wasn't even there. Like she couldn't hear Mom ragging her out. Acting as if her life was over-

All Cassie wanted was… she didn't really know. It was hard to put into words. No more pity? For her feelings on this to matter?

How did she feel about this?

…

I'm not dead. And I'm not stuck in bed anymore. This is the closest to freedom I've had in a while. I'd prefer to be okay. But this isn't so bad. It's just different?

She shook her head. She'd stopped in the middle of the room, and people were now looking at her not because she was a stranger, but because she was acting strange .

Cassie bit the inside of her cheek, and decided that now would be a good time to get that drink. She'd cooled off a little, at least.

Hopefully, by the time I go back, she'll be done with that subject…

She had her purse with her- which had her pocket money, and her expired playpass in it. Not that that would be useful here- she just couldn't toss it away. 

Should I get a drink for Mom and Uncle Miskovsky? It'll make my leaving look less like a tantrum…

So she decided- she didn't know exactly what Uncle Miskovsky liked, but had seen him and Mom catching up for coffee in the past. So she'd just get two coffees for them. 

The cafe looked pretty sleek, and modern. Very few tables- presumably most things brought there would be taken out into the common areas, or back to residents rooms. 

The only issue with the cafe is one that Cassie was still getting used to- she wouldn't be tall enough to see over the counter properly anymore. She'd always been short- she got that from her Dad. And her Mom- but now she was even shorter than usual. And it didn't matter much at the rehab clinic- because most surfaces were lowered more for children- but it mattered here. 

She got into line, and waited for her turn. Deciding on what kind of drink she'd like, and sorting out her money. She could see the clerk taking orders and jotting them down while humming under her breath. Once Cassie got to the very end, she sat in front of the counter. She could only just see over the top of the counter. But everything was at a diagonal, due to the angle. Cassie couldn't even see the clerk.

And it looked like she couldn't see her either. "Sir, did you want to order?"

Cassie couldn't see the man behind her, but could hear him- "Sorry, young lady. But there's an even younger lady in front of me."

Cassie spoke up quickly, feeling blood rush to her cheeks. She waved her hand above her head. "Sorry- I'm here. Can you see me?"

Now she could see the clerk, as she leaned over the counter. "Oh dear! Sorry, we don't normally have kids here. What would you like, dear?"

"Could I get a hot chocolate, and two coffees please? One black, one with half milk?" She was pretty sure Uncle Miskovsky drank his with milk. 

The clerk agreed, Cassie paid- a surprising amount for three drinks, honestly. What a ripoff… and then waited off to the side for them to be made. 

She checked her phone. It'd only been maybe ten minutes since she left in a huff. And she'd be back soon, just needed to wait a little longer.

She texted Andy and Lawrence for a bit, before hearing her order called out. She went to grab them and realized a second issue- how was she going to carry them back? 

She hadnt had to worry too much at the center- she could carry one drink by alternating hands. But this was three drinks. And hot drinks too. Just holding one in each hand burnt. And her hands were pretty tough. Cassie was only wearing short-shorts today. No leggings- they would've gotten wrecked earlier. So she couldn't even put two between her legs. 

She winced just imagining how much trying to get these drinks back would hurt.

However, she got an idea for how to deal with this. Because she’d seen some of the other kids at Rehab do it to get around.

She just hoped it’d work for her. 

"Would you like a hand with those? It's a lot for one person to carry." The clerk asked, as she placed another order on the bench. 

"Do you have any trays I can put these in please?" Cassie asked. The clerk nodded, and came back with a little square tray. Just the kind made of cardboard, with slots for the drinks.

"Do you want me to get someone to carry it for you?" She asked, as Cassie added the drinks into the tray. She tested out how well she could keep its balance in one hand, before shaking her head.

"I think I'll be okay. I'll come back if I need any help. Thank you."

The clerk nodded, and went back to serving other customers. Meanwhile, Cassie started heading back. 

In theory, she could just kick out her footrests, and use her feet to scoot forward. In reality, doing that left her sitting awkwardly in the chair- and led to the tlso brace hurting her, reminding her she wasn’t supposed to slouch backwards like that. 

So that wasn’t an option. But there was another option. 

She’d seen other kids do it. Hold something in one hand, and push themselves with the other.

It wasn't easy. But that didn't bother Cassie much. Because there was a rhythm to it- push a little on one side, swap hands, then push on the other side. Rinse and repeat. It would take her a while, but she was slowly making her way back to where Mom and Uncle Miskovsky were.

Once she got back to them, the only issue was, the door that had previously been propped open separating the common spaces, was now shut. It was one of the doors that swings both ways when pressed. So she could force her way through. 

Maybe. 

Except she could hear faint talking. 

Mom and Uncle Miskovsky were on the other side of that door. Not far away from it. She could hear them talking-

"Do you think she really saw him, Marcela? If he's there, maybe he's trying to come home…"

"Maybe, Petr. But I didn't see Gregory at all. I think… I think Cassie was just very lonely, and still a little out of it. Prolonged sedation can lead to hallucinations afterwards. And her sedation was… very prolonged."

… They're still talking about me?! 

"... Are you okay? After all that, I mean."

Oh. This is one of those kinds of conversations. The really heavy kinds. 

Cassie felt weird listening in now.

A sob. A quiet noise followed. "No. No I'm really not - I've been so selfish. And I nearly lost her because of it."

Cassie wanted to ask why . Luckily, Uncle Miskovsky did. And Mom answered. "I thought I could handle it. 'Just a few years working at the Youth Crisis Center. Until my classes take off. Until the class action succeeds. Until Sam comes back. ' But he's not coming back, Petr. He's never coming back. He's-” that sentence ended in a loud sob, and didn't resume afterwards. “And the class action keeps being stalled by FazEnt- so we can’t even get any compensation for Sam’s death. My classes are doing okay- but not well enough. Never well enough-"

"Marcela-"

"I feel like I'm slowly drowning out at sea. And those classes are the lifering I'm clinging to. But I can't cling to it- I nearly let my daughter drown to save my own skin. Does… does that make sense?"

“It does - but you're being too harsh on yourself-”

“How can you say that?! If anything, I'm not being harsh enough- ”

“How can you say that?! There's no way you could've known something like this would've happened. How were you to know that someone would target Cassie like this?”

For a while, there was nothing said. And Cassie just sat there. Holding onto the tray with both hands. Feeling completely useless. 

But then Mom spoke up, in a whisper. Barely hearable through the door.

“I should have known, because someone targeted Sam. Someone targeted Jemima. Gregory. Someone has it in for us- someone has it in for you, too…”

Silence. 

And then Cassie knocked on the door.

“Hey, Mom? Could you let me in, please?”

She could hear a chair shifting against the tiled floor, and footsteps. Then the door opened towards Cassie- she had to quickly push herself out of the way.

And she could see Mom. With a smile plastered to her face. Pretending nothing had happened. Except Cassie could see the puffiness around her eyes. 

“I brought back some coffee- the one on the left is yours, and the one on the right is for Uncle Miskovsky. The one at the back is mine.” Cassie said, holding out the coffee tray. Mom grabbed the tray carefully out of her hands, and held the door open so that Cassie could come back in.

“Hey, Cassie. Thank you for the drink.” Uncle Miskovsky said, as she wheeled back to where he sat. Mom walked back in, behind her, and gave out the drinks. Passing the hot chocolate back to Cassie. 

It felt warm in her hands. Strange against the chill in her blood.

Mom spoke up first, once everyone had sat down. “Cassie, I'm sorry for worrying you earlier. The kids at school… you're going to be just fine . I'll make sure of it.” She leant forward in her chair, cupping her hands over Cassie's hands holding the drink. “And I’ve heard some great things about your progress at rehab- you'll be back on your feet before you know it!” She said this to Cassie, ostensibly. But she was looking towards Uncle Miskovsky out of the corner of her eye. 

He was also periodically flicking his eyes over to Mom, though he was pretending to be focused on Cassie. “Exactly- things will be back to normal before you know it.”

She could feel a weird tension between the both of them.

This is a huge game of charades. And I know what's behind everyones headband. 

Denial.

Three could play at that game.

“Yeah. I'm going to be fine.”

________

The next few days at the rehab center weren’t that different to her first week there. Physical therapy. Occupational therapy. Group therapy. School. 

But Cassie had been making progress. Shed gotten better at using the wheelchair, and at standing and walking in the gait trainer. Being able to take more of her own weight. Rebecca had even congratulated her on it-

“You've been putting in some great work, Cassie. If you keep this up, we may be able to get you using crutches at least part of the time, before you go home.”

She couldn't help but feel proud of that. Because she had been working really hard to get anywhere with this. And it now seemed to be paying off. 

Heck, she even made some progress with school. She still had some issues with math, but had bounced back a bit in english, art, and science. She’d recently got a B+ on a test about reading comprehension. She just had to show her Mom.

Most importantly, for Cassie, she'd gotten better at standing up by herself. She was able to stand, leaning against a nearby wall or table. Even if it still hurt to do that for too long. 

And she’d gotten permission to go out bowling on the weekend. 

‘It’s accessible, so you’ll be able to bowl with everyone. And it shouldn’t be too busy, so it won’t be dangerous for you to stand occasionally.’

Needless to say, Cassie felt like she was on cloud nine.

Especially because she was helping paint Annette’s nails, in a vibrant pink color. While Annette told her about some stuff she’d been seeing on the fazfans forum.

They’d been talking about just basic things, until Annette brought up something real.

“... The admins have been cracking down recently. On DM’s. Because of the… do you know what's been going on down in Hurricane?”

Cassie nodded. I know, all right.  

Annette continued. “From the pinned post, they're planning on just. Getting rid of that function altogether, and deleting any old DM’s. This sucks- I might not be a huge fan of the shows or games anymore. But I’ve made some good friends there. Some of them are all the way on the other side of the world… and I know Mom won’t let me give them my phone number. So once the DM’s are gone, It’s gonna be so much harder to talk to them.”

“That does suck.” Cassie said, finishing up painting the nails of one hand. She gestured for Annette to pass the other hand over, for their final coat. “Me and my Dad would sometimes send each other messages… if I was at home, and he was at work over school holidays. Or just whenever they made us use a computer at school- it was one of the only good sites not blocked by the school's IT guys.”

Those were fairly bittersweet memories. Of her and her Dad sending silly messages about Freddy’s characters, about rumors. Anything really…

“... And now they’re planning on getting rid of the messages?” Cassie sighed. “Mom banned me from going on the internet. And especially on the forum-” Annette didn’t interrupt to ask why , which Cassie appreciated. “-so I can’t even try to screenshot the messages when I get home.”

Annette gave her a funny look, and quickly looked around. Cassie was tempted to ask what was up, until Annette leaned in close- “You could use one of the computers here. To get onto the forum, I mean.”

Cassie tilted her head. “They have computers here? That we can use?”

“Yeah. They have them for the IT classes, if I remember right…”

Cassie's shoulders drooped, and she stopped painting Annette’s last finger. “one problem- I’m not in the IT class.” She didn’t have a login for the PC’s.

“I am.” Annette whispered. And Cassie’s hopes rose again. “I’ll lend you my login, if you don't do anything funny.”

“Of course I won't- thank you, Annette!” She resumed painting her nails, finishing it off, and leaving the hand to dry like the other. 

“No problem, no problem. Once my nails are dry, I’ll help you out, okay?” 

Cassie nodded, and capped Annette's nail polish bottle, putting it back in her little make up kit. 

________

It felt odd to be sitting in front of a computer again, once Annette had put in her password. She’d sat to the side, keeping an eye on things, while Cassie brought up the browser and went to the forum. 

Immediately, she was hit with a small sense of nostalgia. This site had been made back in the early 2000’s, or so her Dad had said. And it looked it- it hadn’t updated much at all, except to add the Glamrock’s to the site banner. 

She was sure, if she went far enough back in the archives, she could find some of her Dad’s post from when he was young.

Cassie went to put her username and password in, before turning to Annette. Who was watching her intently. “Um. Could you shut your eyes for a second?” She asked her. 

Annette’s eyes went wide with realization, and she laughed before looking away. “You know I have my own account, right? I don't need yours!” She joked. 

Cassie grinned, as she put in her password, and clicked to log in. The computer ran slowly, to load the sign in page. Must have bad internet here , Cassie thought, as the site took its time to load. 

It loaded, eventually. But not the sign in page.

Cassie’s hopes fell. And she sat there in shock.

“... Yikes, you must've messed up . The mods don’t just ban for nothing.” Annette said, looking back over Cassie’s shoulder. 

While Cassie wracked her brain, trying to figure out why . Could she have done something before her ‘accident’?

The last comment I left was about Roxy’s old attraction at the Hurricane Mega Pizzaplex, back when it was open. I didn’t swear, or do anything wrong, so why…

“I don't get it. I didn’t do anything!” She told Annette about her most recent comments- all unobjectionable. “And I haven't even been on the forum in about two months! This doesn't make sense…”

Cassie felt like her heart was breaking. She’d thought she stood a chance of getting those old messages. But she’d already lost that chance. Maybe she’d never had it to begin with.

Annette looked at her with pity in her eyes. Cassie wished she wouldn’t - “Maybe you could send them an email? It might’ve been a mistake.”

“Maybe…” Cassie murmured. She doubted she'd get a response back, but it seemed like the only thing she could do. 

She found the email address on the FAQ page. In case anyone was having technical difficulties. Copied it, then opened up her email. 

Her email account was completely full of unread emails. Most of them spam. She groaned internally, and thought I’ll deal with all that later- this is more important.  

So she put fingers to keyboard. And got started. 

“ Hello. 

“My account, RoxysBiggestFan11, was banned recently, and I don’t know why. I’ve been sick for a while- I was in hospital from the eleventh of August, and haven't been online. So I’m not sure what I could’ve done wrong. 

“Whatever I’ve done wrong, I’m happy to say sorry, or do whatever else is needed. I just want to see some old messages from my Dad. 

“Thank you for your help- Cassie.”

She’d taken her time writing this out, and hoped it sounded polite. And that they would want to help her at least get the messages back. 

All she could do was send the message, and hope. 

She logged out of her email, and gave the computer back to Annette. In case she wanted to use it. “I’m sorry this is happening to you, Cassie.” She said, as she logged out of the computer completely. 

Cassie wasn’t sure how to respond to that. So she changed the subject. 

“How are your nails going?”

********

Authors note-

Not much to say here- I'm trying to keep things medically accurate. If you spot something that's wrong- please tell me.

The title is from Ghost and Pals, Reckless Battery Burns.