#but at least im in a place where i know i got in the grave

[comesatimecomesashadow]

charlotte sometimes *ೃ༄

｡⋆˚࿔°‧ part ii . .

pairing *ೃ༄ il capitano / fem goth reader

fic type *ೃ༄ one-shot, angst, fluff, comfort, pining, slowburn.

cw *ೃ༄ yandere themes, mentions of stalking, reader has family drama but nothing too serious ( in this chapter ).

summary *ೃ༄ living as a recluse for the better part of your life, you'd grown used to the solitude of your daily life. however, when you catch the eye of the fiercest harbinger in teyvat ー the solitude you had grown accystomed to, dissipates.

note *ೃ༄ i know a few of you have been waiting for this capitano / goth wife reader to come out & im so sorry it took so long for me to finally post something but this got to be way too long so i decided to split it into multiple other parts. on to of that, i'm going to take a break from this fic because i wanna write for some other characters, hopefully this will keep y'all fed till later...

｡⋆˚࿔°‧ word count . . ! 7k+

masterlist *ೃ༄

In the dreary scenery of Snezhnaya, falling snow is a commonality. It falls, and falls.. And falls. Relentlessly, the particles allow themselves to be carried by the incessant howling winds — whispers of the never-ending winter. Amidst the bone-chilling iciness is where you reside. 

   Though you are protected by the four walls you call ‘home’, the cold attempts to penetrate through the curtain-covered windows and through every nook and cranny of your home. Inside of your quaint cottage in the outskirts, there are two stories standing tall and lacquered mahogany paints the stairs and floors of your quaint residence. Renaissance-esque paintings are hung up on the walls, giving life to the once-barren sides of the cottage. Those paintings, handpicked by yourself, tell silent stories of longing and yet at the same time, a fulfillment of oneself. 

   It is a melancholic feeling, you think. 

   Your home is decorated with trinkets; A candelabra at the corner near the front door, the porcelain angels that sit on your bookcase in the living room, pencils that litter your desk upstairs, plush pillows that sit atop your resting place — your home might not be lavish nor ostentatious, but it is yours. It is a thing you protect, a thing you keep hidden underneath the layers of the flesh of your heart. 

   The first time you learned the difference between a house and a home, you were young. A fledgeling, barely. 

   You try to not let your mind drift to that place often. 

   It is not a good thing to reminisce about. 

   Here, in your warm kitchen surrounded by the aroma of sweet baking, is better. The ringing of the timer pulled you away from your thoughts of tomorrow. For tomorrow, you were to visit a grave. It had been a few months since she had passed, but you still visited her at least once a month. She was like a sister to you, despite her endless teasing and her (sometimes) infuriating way of wording things, she was still your dearest friend. 

   She always liked your cookies, you remember. 

   ‘You know,’ she would begin, ‘i’ve never been a fan of cookies, but these are amazing.’ The smile on her face as she ate cookie after cookie, sitting at your table as if she were just an ordinary person. Though, you guess, at that time she was exactly that to you. It was not that her title meant nothing to you, but when you grew more comfortable with her — going as far as to let her into your home regularly — she was ordinary. 

   Perhaps that is why her death hurt all too much. 

   ‘She met her fate in Inazuma..’  The words that the Tsaritsa herself spoke to you on that day were etched onto your mind. ‘The others,’ she said, referring to the other ten of her elites.  ‘-Will be at her funeral. I will inform them of your presence beforehand, should you attend.’ You did not attend that day, but the day after. When it was just you and her in solitude — like when she would come over to your quaint cottage and eat cookies on the kitchen table, ranting to you of her work troubles.. That day, it was hard to be the rock you had trained yourself to be. 

   The cookies were left to cool on the kitchen counter for a while. A faint meowing could be heard, followed by the sound of tiny paw-steps on the ground. You turned to see Mittens. Mittens too, was yours. He was a feline with black paws and the rest of his fur was white, except for the black skin of his nose. Mittens had been your companion long before you had made a home in this cottage. 

   The first time you met him, you were chasing him to get back the piece of bread he had taken. He was skinny and frail, the fur on his back was ratty and there were patches without fur. 

   How cold he must have been.. 

   Despite the solitude you had grown accustomed to, it was nice to have a companion. Since taking him in, Mittens’ fur had grown to be fluffy and clean, no more tangled patches and bare spots with raised bite marks. He was an agile feline who curiously lingered around you at all times. 

   Like now. 

   Mittens nudged your hand as you reach out to scritch at his head, a slight smile on your lips. The candlelight that lit your kitchen made it smell of lavender and created a warm ambiance. In here, there was rarely any cold that seeped in through the windows, or maybe that was just you since you naturally ran hot. Sometimes, you even went outside to stand on your porch and relish the biting ice-cold temperatures. 

   But only sometimes. 

   That time was not now. Or rather, you wished it not to be. The feeling of someone watching you, however, sent a cold shiver up your spine. Like spiders running along your arms and crawling up your shoulders, the stare was felt. You looked around, your eyes surveying for any peering eyes — yet none could be found in this dark night. Mittens meowed as you took your hand away and moved to close the navy curtains, if there was someone watching you, they certainly couldn’t now. 

   It was uncomfortable, that feeling of knowing eyes are on you. For the past few days, you began to feel that feeling often. It lingered when you turned a corner in the inner city. It lingered when you shopped for necessities. It even lingered on those cold nights you stole for yourself; When it was just you and the cold of Snezhnaya. Those nights had been yours, yet now it felt as if something, or someone, had intruded your spaces of solitude. 

   For a moment, you corrected yourself. 

   For it was not the fact that you felt the eyes on you, that made you uncomfortable. No. It was being seen that you despised. Like a shadow, you wanted to go unnoticed, unfelt, unacknowledged. 

   It was safer, being invisible. 

   Nowadays, though, you feel naked. As if something has violated your careful isolation. This feeling, this crawling feeling, was invading. It would have done some good for it to have been a visible stalker of some sort because at least then you would have been able to confront them and make it go away. You would have been able to put a stop to it and reclaim your solitude. 

   But alas, you could not fight something you could not see.

   The cookies were sealed in a transparent bag with a thin, red ribbon around the top and then tucked neatly into a black box. The black box had crimson accents upon its sides. You chose it for her. 

   Her grave, you correct yourself. 

   Anyway, you left the box on the kitchen table, beside the three differently sized candles that sat in the middle of your table. With that last task completed, your feet carried you up the stairs and to your comfortable, warm bed. Mittens trailed behind you, running towards the bed once he realized it was time to sleep. He jumped towards the bed gracefully and kneaded at the foot of the bed before making himself comfortable. 

   With a kiss to Mittens’ forehead, you allowed yourself to slumber. 

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

   “Do you happen to have these?” The young girl held up a picture of a specific set of paints. From the look of them, they were imported. Esthene inspected the picture in her hands a little more before handing it back to the customer. “I’m not quite sure, but I’ll check in the back for you.” with a courteous smile, she excused herself from her presence and headed towards the storage room. 

   This shop, despite being an art supply store, was not as colorful as its purpose suggested. The walls were painted in a dark auburn, the floors were of lacquered mahogany wood. There weren’t many decorations apart from the spectacular artworks on the wall and the beige curtains that were pulled apart and tied at the ends of the two windows at the storefront. The absence of clutter gave way to a sense of coziness. 

   You appreciated it, atmospheres like this were ideal to you. 

   In your hands was a clipboard. Your eyes scanned over all the supply boxes, or rather, their labels. Your position as manager of the shop often required you to take a look at the inventory and make orders according to what was needed. A newly hired employee, Esthene, came up to you to ask about the paints. 

   “Those, I believe, should be in the far right corner of the shop near the paint aisle. But if there isn’t any, I’ll unpack the new ones.” you told her. Esthene smiled and thanked you before returning to her post. She was new to the shop but a bright person nonetheless. Her hair was a dusty blonde color with fair skin which had freckles peppered onto it. Despite her inexperience at the beginning, she proved to be a good asset to your team. She worked fast and was quick to find solutions. 

   An accomplished feeling settled in your chest as you turned your attention back to the labeled boxes. It was a small help, but a help nonetheless. Despite your dark outward appearance, you quite liked helping others. It often gives you a sense of fulfillment. It was something your employees greatly appreciated about you. 

   You always gave more than you took. 

   You were generous like that. 

   “Are these the ones you’re looking for?” Esthene accompanied the young customer to the aisle you’d directed her to.  

   “Yes! Thank you!” the young girl nodded and picked out the medium-sized jar of paints  she wanted. Afterwards, Esthene rang  her up and the girl placed a bag of mora on the counter as payment. “Keep the change!” she said after Esthene handed her the items in a paper bag. You thought for a moment how bright she seemed, with her ‘thank you’s’ and smiles. You hoped she would keep being that way for as long as time allowed. 

   It was a sad thing to have that joy ripped away. 

   You headed towards the counter after checking the time on the clock; Closing time. As you emerged from the storage room, Esthene had flipped the sign to the ‘closed’ side of it, signifying that the shop was no longer taking customers. The shop wasn’t one of those big outlets with tons and tons of shelves. You liked that about it because it meant there would be more peace and quiet within the shop, even on work days like today. 

   “Closing time, everyone. Let’s get this done quick, alright?” All four of your employees nodded and got straight to work. You helped fix up the storage cabinets as well as put items that had been misplaced back in their designated area. After the sweeping, the mopping and the wiping was done, you handed everyone their paychecks and bid them farewell. You were the last to leave. 

   After locking up for the night, you began on your way to your dear friend’s grave. The cold air made it so you could see the breath that escaped your lips whenever you exhaled. In your left hand, was the box of cookies you had prepared for the occasion. In your opposite hand was your purse, which carried a book among other things. Your intention was to read it at her grave under the light of the mausoleum she now slept in, she often loved hearing you read to her. 

   ‘It’s entertaining when you do it. If I were to do it, it’d sound monotonous.’ she told you once when you had asked her why she preferred your reading over her own. You smiled at the thought. Her grave was just a few blocks away. Your friend had been buried in a secluded sanctuary, one dedicated specifically for her. The Tsaritsa, in her kindness, allowed you to keep visiting her. 

   Though you chose to not worship the archons like most, you were grateful to her for her generosity. 

   It would have been devastating had you not been allowed to see her after the funeral.

   Even if you weren’t seeing her face to face. 

   You got off of the wagon and bid farewell to the kind passerby that had driven you here. The cold bit at the exposed skin of your face, but you cared not. You approached the building and it was then that you began to feel the all-too familiar feeling of being watched. You looked around, scanning the area for the culprit, but as always, you found nothing. You grumbled and shook your head dismissively. Without any more hesitance, you walked into her grand resting place. 

   There, as you walked in, lay her gravestone. A pyro crystalfly was frozen in place where her head should be. You shook off the feeling of annoyance from being watched and found the peace within yourself to smile down upon seeing her resting place. Your fingers caressed the top of the marble coffin, it was cold. Though, you couldn’t feel it due to your gloves. 

   “I’m here, again..” You spoke, as if she could hear you. “I wonder if you tire of me, Rosalyne.” A chuckle escaped your throat while you leaned against the marble structure that carried her coffin atop it. The cookie box was placed beside you and you searched for the book in your bag. The only light that seeped in was the moonlight, which you could barely see in. So you lit a few candles for better lighting.

   It was moments like these that you were grateful for the pyro vision you possessed. The time was spent with you reading classic gothic literature to Rosalyne and enjoying the cookies you had prepared while you sat there beside her grave. Of course, you knew she could not hear you, but it was nice to believe that she could.. Somewhere out there. 

   After about an hour, you had read a total of four chapters from the book. You decided to stop there and gather your things, it was getting quite late and you still had to walk from here to your cozy home. Mittens was probably missing you and waiting at the door for you to arrive, knowing him. 

   You stuffed the box into your satchel along with the book and told her goodbye. With that, you took your leave and were exposed to Snezhnaya’s cold winds again. It would be difficult to flag down another wagon.. You let out a small sigh and began your walk back to your cottage, at least the pyro vision you kept would help you keep warm. 

   The feeling of being watched was gone. But you kept thinking about it. It was a feeling you just couldn’t shake no matter how much you tried to do so. Your brows furrowed in thought as you walked underneath the snow and streetlights. It was only when you bumped into a man’s shoulder that you snapped out of it. “..!” your eyes widened and you immediately apologized to the man while crouching down to collect your satchel which had fallen upon impact. 

   But the man was faster. 

   “I apologize.” he said as he collected your satchel before you could reach it. He handed it back to you but your mind had gone blank after setting your eyes on the man.. Who had a black void for a face. He was draped in a fur coat of immaculate creation — you noticed —  and accents of gold and silver which only served to accentuate his regality even more. 

   There was only one figure in Snezhnaya who was famous for his face — or his lack of one. 

   “..Ah. You’re..There is no need for you to apologize, the fault lies with me.” you bowed your head a little, it made you anxious that his vision was directed at you. 

   You hated being seen. 

   The familiar uncomfortable feeling of being watched returned. But this time, you knew who exactly it was that was looking at you. “Are you alright?” 

   On instinct, you replied, “Yes, I’m alright. I was only lost in thought, forgive me.” The chains of his helmet clinked when he nodded. It was hard not to act so formal when The First was standing in front of you, focused on you. 

   “May I ask what you are doing out so late?” His voice was clear, in this wind it was always a little hard to hear. But him? His voice was as clear as still water. You found no reason to deny him an answer so you nodded. 

   “I’m currently on my way home, Lord Harbinger.” The words felt foreign on your tongue, but there was no telling what he might do if you were to disregard his status. You had heard the rumors and frankly, you did not believe them. But it was hard to not feel intimidated when he towered over you like this. 

   “I see.” He didn’t say anything else after that which left the two of you in an awkward silence. This is why you preferred to stay to yourself. Small talk was a nightmare. 

   You bowed slightly, awkwardly. “If there is nothing else.. I will continue on my way home. Is that alright?” Your vision shifted from your feet to the black void that covered his face. 

   The Captain stayed silent for a moment, it seemed that he had something else to say but decided against speaking. With his silent nod, you quickly made yourself scarce from his presence. Your walk was brisk and quick in the hopes that he would let you leave without a word. Authority in Snezhnaya wasn’t ‘harsh’ but you’d rather not get involved with any governmental affairs, especially not with the Tsaritsa’s elite. 

   You sang a solemn lullaby to yourself while you walked home. It was stupid, but it made you feel less alone during the journey home. The feeling of being watched subtly returned whenever you turned a corner but no matter how much you looked back to check if there was anyone there, you could see nothing. 

   Thankfully though, you made it home that night safely. 

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

   About a few months have passed since that night and your life went as usual. You clocked into work, clocked out of work, visited Rosalyne once a month with cookies in tow and led your quiet life with your quiet feline at your side. Everything was supposed to be normal. 

   Key word: ‘supposed to’. 

   Yet as of late, there have been more than a few instances that weren't normal. Ones that could not be counted as simple ‘coincidences’. For instance, following that small  interaction with The First; He has begun to appear in places you usually did not expect him to. One of these encounters happened at a craft shop you often frequented. The shop was run by a nice old woman and her two grandchildren; It was a quaint business in which you often went to pick up supplies to mend clothing or to merely admire the unique fabrics. 

   One wintry afternoon, when the streets were bustling and the sun was shining, you walked into the shop only to learn from Mrs. Yachka, the nice old woman, that the esteemed Captain of the Fatui Harbingers was in her very shop. With your curiosity piqued, you subtly made your way to the back of the shop to where he was stationed. When your eyes landed upon him, he cradled a sample of silk fabric in his claws. His claws, that no doubt had taken lives during battle, were now being used to inspect a delicate piece of silk.. 

   ‘How strange.’ you would think to yourself, a placid smile forming upon your lips absentmindedly. You subtly walked to his side, pretending to look at the fabrics. Your eyes were glued to them but all you really wanted to do was gauge his expression.. from his body language of course. You deemed The First to be a reserved man and so, you thought to engage in conversation first, but he beat you to it. 

   With a sharp yet calm tone, The First uttered a statement to you. He let down the fabric, allowing his hand to disappear into his thick and white, winter fur coat. “It’s you.” he continued, “The woman who was visiting Rosalyne.” 

   Upon hearing his words, you drew a blank before the memory of your first encounter with him flashed in your mind. “Oh. Yes, that- That would happen to be me.” You felt oddly sheepish, realizing that this was how The First, The most honorable soldier  in all of Snezhnaya, remembered you. “My name is ______. I understand that this is our first formal meeting, Lord Harbinger.” The title slipped from your tongue easily, yet now it was without the tone one uses to speak to a figure of authority — it felt strange to hear those words sound so .. non-fearful. 

   “_______.” He muttered, as if to test out how your name felt on his lips.  “You may call me Capitano. I believe you were in a hurry during our last encounter.” The black void of his face peered down at you, though you felt it less imposing than the previous time it had been directed at you. Maybe it was accredited to the way the sunlight peeking through the shop’s windows made him seem ethereal-like. 

   You kept a small smile, “Yes, I was in a hurry to get home that night. It was late.. ” After a moment of silence, you remembered what it was that you were even speaking to him for. “Do you come here often?” 

   The chains on his mask clinked as he shook his head slowly. “No. I heard in passing that the fabrics here, at this establishment, were one-of-kind. There is a banquet to be held soon and the Tsaritsa has requested my attendance.” Your eyes drifted to the rolls of fabric on display. 

   “Are you looking for something specific or only browsing? I know this shop quite well and it would be an honor to aid you — if you’d like, that is.” You weren’t sure if it was because of his status or the oddly warm environment around the two of you, but something made it easier for you to extend your kindness to him when you barely even knew the man. 

   Not that it was a bad thing to be kind to strangers.

   It was just peculiar how willing you were being when you usually preferred to keep interactions with others short or to have none at all. 

   “Which would you recommend?” His sight was once again on the display racks, away from you. This action made you feel at ease due to your inclination to not maintain eye-contact, even if you couldn’t exactly see his eyes. Mrs. Yachka watched the two of you mull over the decision. She felt less intimidated now that you were keeping him company. Of course, it wasn’t as if she was scared of the Harbinger. It only caught her off guard since it was unusual to see a decorated soldier like him at her quaint shop. 

   A few minutes had passed by now and you bit your lip while thinking. “-I also believe there was this navy shade of velvet that I found quite pleasing during my last visit. It should be around here..” You stepped around the aisle and made your way to the other side, the tall harbinger following after you. When your eyes landed on it, you reached out to hold it. “I believe this would do nicely and the shade suits you well, too.” Your eyes drifted up to he who was now reaching out to hold the cloth in your hand. 

   After The First inspected the material, the clinking of chains was heard while he nodded in approval. “Very well, I will trust your judgement as you seem to be well-versed in this area.” 

   A quiet laugh escaped your lips while you pressed your fingers to your lips softly, “I’m not an expert, that would be Mrs. Yachka at the front. I am merely speaking from experience.” You could not see it at that moment, but The Harbinger’s expression had softened. Your humility was something refreshing to him. 

   Afterwords, when the Harbinger was done speaking to you, he went to Mrs. Yachka to request a shipment of the navy velvet fabric. You weren’t privy to the details of the conversation due to the fact that you had been shopping when he placed his order, but when you were done with your little errand, Mrs. Yachka informed you that the Harbinger had paid a handsome amount for the fabric despite the price being significantly less than his payment. 

   You were in awe at the amount, but then realized that for a man of his status, the purchase must have been no big deal. You wondered for a moment what it would be like to have that kind of money but quickly moved on from it. After a lively chat with Mrs. Yachka, you returned to your home with the sewing supplies you’d been looking for. 

   Following that happenstance, The Captain appeared to you once more about three weeks after your formal encounter. This time, it took place behind your cottage. Well, not exactly behind it. See, your cottage was stationed in the outskirts of the city. This meant that while you did have your peace and quiet, you were also subject to witnessing the training of the Fatui just a ways away from your backyard. 

   The land was barren, as always, and vast enough for soldiers to train. It was no surprise to you that the Fatui’s armies would train there and it was certainly not a disturbance since they were far away enough to not cause you any trouble. However, you did not expect it to be Capitano who was leading the platoons behind your cottage. It wasn’t a strange thing to see the soldiers training, but in your years of living in that cottage, it was the first time you had ever seen The First leading them. Usually it was a highly-ranked Fatui Member that took care of the Fatui training.

   Though, seeing as he was rumored to be the most skilled fighter in all of Snezhnaya, it wasn’t all that strange. Maybe it just felt that way due to the fact that you were acquainted with him more than you should have been. 

   The snow was falling outside, softly landing on the ground like a bird’s fallen feathers. It was as cold as always, but the fire at the hearth warmed the four walls of your home. Mittens nudged your leg as you were sat on the couch in front of the hearth, mending an old maroon skirt of yours. The feline jumped at the sound of abrupt knocking at the front of your door. Your brows knitted in slight annoyance, wondering who decided to interrupt your precious tranquility. At around the third series of hard knocking a sigh left your lips as you got up to check who it was. To your utter dismay, it was one of the people you least expected (or wanted) to pay you a visit. 

   In the seven years that you had called this cottage ‘home’, she never once had come. Nor did you want her to, for she was the woman who made your childhood an inferno. Without a second thought, your hand flew to the handle to shut the wooden door closed. But alas, she was quicker. With her foot wedging in between the door, she maintained an opening — access to you. 

   “What is it that you need?” you tried to speak normally, but the underlying anger was prominent in your tone. 

   “Need?” Your older half-sister, croaked. “Couldn’t you at least invite me in for a cup of tea? It’s the least you could do after what-” 

   “I have no desire to speak of past events.” You made sure she felt the authority in your voice. The wounds from your past had long-since been healed and you had no intention to allow her to pick at the scars. 

   You would not allow her to desecrate your home. 

   “We don’t have to talk about that, but I have to see you.” she said, her moss-colored eyes boring into your own. 

   “You’ve seen me,” you said, “Now go, Yessenia.” You observed her sharply, gauging her next move. She seemed as impatient as ever and the way she was carrying herself, you could tell she was the same woman from before. Not even time could change her. You looked upon her clothing through the small opening and just by examining it for a few minutes you could tell that the wealth she once boasted of was gone. 

   Unfortunately, she had no intention to leave. Yessenia sighed and pleaded with you and despite your heartstrings being tugged at, you refused to open the door an inch more. “Please, you’ve no idea how horrible everyone back home is doing — The situation is dire..” Tears threatened to spill out of her eyes. “Our mora stretched thin and without your help, i’m afraid we might be thrown to the streets, like trash- please! Have you no compassion for your family??” The tone in her voice sounded desperate. 

   Your mind screamed at you to refuse her entry.. but your heart, soft as ever, crumbled upon seeing her so distraught. You could clothe yourself in all the shades of black there were, but your heart could never be so noir as to turn someone in need away. What did it matter that she was unforgiving at one point? Maybe she has changed, maybe. With a heavy sigh, you opened your door to her and allowed her into the four warm walls you called home. 

   “Thank you,” she wiped her eyes and held your hand close to her chest. She was dressed in commoner clothing. Gone were the frilly dresses made of silk and the heavy faux furs she once donned. “You’ve been doing well, I can see.” She looked around your cozy, clean home. Without a reply, you guided her to the couch where you once had been. 

   “What tea do you like?” Mittens entered the kitchen adjacent to the living room alongside you, his purring long gone. 

   “Do you have peppermint?” 

   “Yes,” your replies were curt. Of course, you agreed to hear her out but you were still on guard. Her actions would tell if she had truly separated from her old self. After a short time, the kettle whistled and you meticulously prepared two white mugs of peppermint tea. Again came that feeling of being watched — it had lessened as of late, but it wasn’t completely gone. 

   You chalked it up to the adrenaline you were experiencing due to Yessenia’s unexpected arrival. 

   “I can see you still enjoy the darker things in life,” Yessenia commented, a slight giggle at the end of her utterance. 

   “I do.” The mug was handed to her; you took your place on the couch afterwards. The feeling of warmth and coziness should have settled in by now but the anxiety from just being around her did not leave you. 

  Yessenia accepted the mug and was now drinking from it. She was pleased with the drink, her relaxed expression said as much.  “How long have you lived here?” She looked towards the paintings, to the fireplace and the little porcelain angels that sat atop the structure. 

   “In the same month I left that house; About seven years now, I believe.” Mittens jumped onto your lap and made himself at home there, much to Yessenia’s surprise. 

   “That cat.. It’s the same one from the alleyway? From when we were kids?” her emerald eyes widened slightly at the prospect. Clearly, she hadn’t expected you to take in a stray cat. 

   “His name is Mittens.” you clarified. “But there are more pressing matters than my home and my companion. You had something you wanted to speak to me about, did you not?” 

   Yessenia seemed a little dejected at the change of subject, but she continued nonetheless. “Yes, I wanted to speak to you.. About mom.” 

   “Your mother? Please elaborate.” At the mention of that woman, you became stone-faced. You had hoped that after leaving, you would be leaving that family behind too. But to your utter dismay, that was not how it turned out to be. The painful words that woman directed towards you either under her breath or to your face had left you with scars that took years to heal. If you could, you’d shut your ears and disappear from their memories. 

   But you had a heart. 

   Yessenia gazed down at the liquid in the cup, her expression downcast with her lips in a frown. “She isn’t doing so well, the business is failing and her health is not what it used to be. Brother and I have tried everything to help with the finances but nothing works, the sales keep plummeting..” 

   A dull clink was heard the moment your cup was set down. With crossed arms and furrowed eyebrows, you let out a sigh. “..I assume you want my father’s money. Is that what you’re asking?” 

   Her green eyes shimmered at the mention of your fathers savings. Before he had met his end, your father left everything to you in his will. The love you had for your father was like nothing else and you hated to see him so enamored with a wicked woman who only degraded you in your childhood, sans his presence of course. However, it seemed that he realized his mistakes and the impact they had on you, which you believe led to him only naming you in his will. Not his second wife or your two half-siblings — you. 

   It was unknown how he died, but there was a fire and you assumed that that was the cause. After his funeral took place, a lawyer traveled to your home to inform your step mother and half siblings that his life’s savings were to be transferred to you upon your eighteenth birthday. You hadn’t used them all up, you were wise with it. With that money, you’d get yourself a nice cottage in the outskirts and afford to have your beloved feline taken care of. After those two things had been settled, you pretty much put the rest of the money into a savings account. 

   After all, your father had been a rather successful doctor. 

   “Well, you see..” Yessenia began. She went on and on about her mother’s condition; Mentioning here and there that they had gotten themselves into debt that they could not afford to pay. “I hope you know that this is not how I would have liked us to reunite,” Yessenia held your hands in her own. “Sister, please. Her condition is dire.” 

   Following that moment, you sighed and slipped your hands away from her. “Allow me to see her and assess her condition; I’ll make my decision afterwards.” 

   Yessenia’s brows furrowed and for a moment you could see those same ire-ridden eyes from your childhood — though they were gone as soon as they appeared. “Do you believe me to be a liar? Is that why you’re asking?” Her words were sharp and reminded you of when the two of you were children. When she would tease you and blame you for any mishap. 

   “No,” you matched her sharp gaze. “However, I have no reason to believe this is even true. I have not seen your family in almost seven years now, how do you expect me to trust you?” 

   Yessenia sighed and placed her cup down on the table. “Very well. I shall take you to see her in a week’s time. Is this arrangement fine with you, sister?” 

   A curt nod signalled the end of the conversation between the two of you. She was gone in a matter of minutes; as soon as you watched her figure get smaller and smaller until she disappeared into the fogginess, you closed the door. 

   Or well, that is what you would have wanted to do. 

   Before you could retreat back into your warm sanctuary, you felt the presence of someone else near you. Again, the feeling of being watched surged up inside you. You were sick of this paranoia; So much so, that you were just about to close the door and call it a night. The wind and fog obscured your vision so there was nothing you could do, it wasn’t like you were going to spend the whole night searching for a culprit that may not even exist. 

   That was, until you saw a tall figure in the distance. A small gleaming sheen of blue seemed to be staring at you, but you knew not what it was. With your brows furrowing in confusion you walked out to your porch leaving the door closed so your feline wouldn’t venture out and get sick. “Who’s there?” You spoke loud enough for them to hear, but the wind was howling and the snow around you was making a ruckus with the way it swirled and fled. Before long, you were surrounded by the blizzard, unable to see the figure. Only your house was in a distant view. “This was stupid,” you muttered to yourself while you bunched up the fabric of your skirt to walk through the thick snow. Maybe it was because your vision wasn’t the best while in the snow-storm, but you bumped into something — someone. Slowly, your vision was brought up to see none other than the familiar mask of The First. 

   “Ca..pitano?” The words were hard to get out with your teeth chattering every few seconds. Maybe you should’ve taken a thick coat before venturing out to find that figure with gleaming blue lights… But then you would have likely lost them in the storm. At least now you could confirm what your stalker looked like.  

   “______?” The confusion was evident in his tone. With not a moment to be spared, Capitano slipped off his thick coat and wrapped it around you. ‘And they say chivalry is dead..’ you thought to yourself as you adjusted to the leftover warmth within the coat. “You’re far from home. Why?” The Captain questioned you while he escorted you back home. You wondered if he could see better than you, given these conditions. 

   More importantly, you wondered how exactly he knew where you resided. 

   “You know where I live?” you directed your vision back to him, curious as to what his answer would be. 

   There was the sound of chains clinking as he nodded. “I personally scouted the area before the training commenced, it would have been unwise to do so.” Your vision shifted from you to your home which was now becoming clearer and clearer to see. His answer wasn’t anything peculiar so your suspicions of him possibly being your stalker were slim to none. “However, you’ve yet to answer my question. Why did you decide to walk in this blizzard? I’m sure you know how detrimental that could have been to your health.” 

   “I’m not fragile, I can take care of myself.” You slurred your words a little because of the cold that bit at you. “But if you must know, I..” Should you tell him about the stalker? He was one of the harbingers.. Maybe he could actually help you with the situation? You hesitated for a moment before continuing. “I went out on a walk to clear my head.” 

   “In this weather?” the harbinger questioned, his voice sharp yet seemingly concerned. Soon enough, the both of you reached your cottage. It didn’t take long since you had not walked too far, thankfully. Still, the cold was troubling you. Your pyro abilities made your body less susceptible to the cold, but Snezhnaya’s winter was nothing like a normal cold. 

   You nodded and turned to face him once the two of you arrived at the steps of your cottage. “Yes, It wasn’t this bad when I first stepped out. I’m deeply sorry to have troubled you; I know a man such as yourself has more pressing things to take care of.”  The Captain’s vision lingered on your figure. The way you shut down his line of questioning clearly indicated that you were concealing something from him. However, he also understood that the two of you were not so close for him to demand answers of that sort from you. 

   So with a subtle sigh, the Captain allowed you to take off the coat he allowed you to wear. You offered it back to him; Looking at him now, he had a lean build, it contrasted  what you had initially thought of him. Without his coat he seemed less imposing — but the mystery surrounding him remained. He seemed much taller, if that was possible, now that you were face to.. Chest, with him. 

   The Captain’s claws subtly brushed over your fleshly hands as he accepted his coat back. He grunted while adjusting it around himself, it seemed there was something he wanted to say. Without a moment’s hesitation, the Harbinger cleared his throat. “If there is anything at all that ails you, do not hesitate to notify me.” 

   You blink once. 

   Then twice. 

   The words failed to come out of your mouth; Who would have thought that a simple sentence like that could leave you speechless? Now, you were not one to have your head in the clouds about every single man who showed you kindness. Nonetheless, when a man like the Captain — who is revered, not only in Snezhnaya, but all throughout Teyvat and who is the pinnacle of regality and unrivaled strength — His kindness would leave a simple woman like yourself, in awe. 

   “I.. -Yeah, yes. I’ll make sure to do so, Capitano.” you stammered. After giving you a nod of acknowledgement, he was off to the training grounds. Slowly, you crept into the safety of your home. Your eyes wide with confusion and a newfound excitement? With his kindness shown to you in these past few occasions came a plethora of questions. 

   If his encounters with you were not coincidences- Did it mean that Capitano had intentionally gone out of his way to seek you out? 

   You chuckle. “No, that would be stupid..”

[misty-missdee]

watched i saw the tv glow.

it does a great job capturing the pre trans feeling of just going through the motions because thats what they want you to do.

the feeling that time is nothing and just moves faster and faster as you feel an ever growing emptiness.

but, its not too late.

[bucketbueckers]

TEAM BUECKERS

pairing: paige bueckers x fem!reader

content: language, kinda silly, kinda rushed

wc: 5.9k

synopsis: For you and Paige, the line between “friends” and “something more” wasn’t always this blurry. You weren’t quite sure how you got here, and if you were being completely honest, you didn’t know if you were brave enough to ever cross that line fully. It’s not until Paige ropes you into a Valentine’s Day couples contest you realize, with the two of you, that line never really existed at all.

notes: happy (late) valentines day 😋 yes i'm posting this after midnight on february 15 and yes i tried my best to get this out on the 14th when it was, you know, actually valentines day, but i fumbled majorly and im like 50% sorry. not proofread bc im sleepy. i lowkey don't know how to feel about this but i think the end makes up for it but i had an idea for this and it honestly derailed. i still don't know how taglists work (if you've asked and you're not on here, i'm sorry i will just throw up and die if i tag someone who doesn't actually want to be tagged in all of my works i hope u understand, pls be super specific my brain doesn't function like it used to) uhhh so yeah lmk what we think & happy vday 🫶

tags: @jnkbueckers

You and Paige weren’t always like this. There used to be a clear boundary in your friendship, a strictly platonic one where her embrace didn’t make your heart race and where her mischievous smile didn’t fill you with an exasperation that bordered on endearment. You didn’t always wear her jersey at games, didn’t always keep her favorite ice cream stocked in your apartment for nights she came over to binge watch the same show the both of you have probably seen a combined thousand times, didn’t always confuse where you begin or where she ends. There used to be a time where the two of you weren’t so inexplicably intertwined in the fabric of each other’s lives. 

If anyone asked, you wouldn’t be able to identify when everything shifted – when your feelings transformed into what they are now. It just happened. The realization was as easy as waking up next to her on the couch, your legs tangled under a blanket far too small for the both of you, her arm tight around your waist to prevent you from falling off of the cushions entirely. It was as easy as the spare toothbrush you keep in your bathroom because she sleeps over so often, as easy as the drawer you have in her room because sometimes her dorm is just closer than your apartment.

So maybe it was kind of inevitable that ‘you and Paige’ turned into a ‘You & Paige.’ The two of you have a simple understanding. You keep her grounded, she encourages you to dream a little bigger. You talk, she listens. You round each other out in so many ways that you’re not the least bit surprised by how many people think that you and Paige are dating. If anything, they’re more surprised when you correct them, saying, “She’s just my best friend.”

You’re content to take your feelings for her to the grave. Maybe you would get over her eventually. She’s Paige Bueckers. She has a national championship and the upcoming draft to focus on and you have your senior thesis due at the end of the semester. The both of you have a lot on your plates – you care for her too much to complicate things for her, even if that means putting your own feelings on the back-burner.

You’re sitting on your couch, twelve pages into your paper, sifting through the twenty-eight (yes, twenty-eight) tabs you have open for your research when you hear your door knob jiggle. You don’t think too much of it, trying to stay focused on the task in front of you before you give up and start scrolling through social media again. However, your discipline doesn’t last for too long because the familiar rhythm of footsteps could only belong to one person. You look up to find Paige making her way into your living room like she owns the place (which she may as well, considering how often she’s around), depositing her duffle bag on the armchair. You greet her, returning to your work, but you feel the couch dip under her weight as she takes a seat next to you.

And then she sighs. Loudly. Dramatically, like she’s begging for your attention. Like you’re not busy. You glance at her from the corner of your eye, finding her staring straight at you, but she says nothing. A few beats pass. You add a new sentence to your paper, pausing to go back and find the reference page. She sighs again, more purpose and intent behind it this time, and your lips quirk slightly. Still, she says nothing, and the silence stretches on for so long that you’re sure she’s given up on trying to annoy you.

You write one more sentence before she leans over, sprawling out across your body, chin pressing into your keyboard. Your eye twitches as a long string of ‘M’s takes over your Word document. Paige sighs again, sounding forlorn, like a kicked puppy, and you know you’re not going to get anything done unless you entertain her.

“Okay,” you say, pulling your computer out from under her head, making sure to save your paper before you close the lid. “What’s wrong?”

Her face brightens almost immediately. “I am so glad you asked,” she states. “So, I’m walkin’ through campus today, right?”

“As one does.”

She hums. “And there’s a shit ton of tabling outside the student union. Frats, clubs, some vegan guy giving out pamphlets –”

“Paige,” you interrupt, raising a brow. “The point?”

“Oh.” She nods, collecting her thoughts. “So there was this club – forgot who they were, lowkey, there was a lot of letters – but on Friday, they’re hostin’ a Valentine’s Day contest and the first place prize is insane. I’m talking gift cards, cookie decorating kits, I think there was even a coupon in there for a fucking spa trip, or some shit, but you get the point, yeah? I wanted to sign us up for it.”

You had to admit – you were a little intrigued by it. Between your class work and Paige and her teammates giving you an aneurysm every week, you were in dire need of a spa trip and a little bit of relaxation. But more than anything else in the world, you knew Paige. You recognized that gleam in her expression – it was a feigned nonchalance, like she was being slick and trying to hide it. “What’s the catch?” you ask bluntly.

She laughs, the sound more surprised than amused, and her head shifts in your lap to gaze up at you. You try to ignore the way it sets off a swarm of butterflies in your belly. “What makes you think there’s a catch?” she asks.

“You’re Paige Bueckers,” you state. “There’s always a catch. Like I knew there was a catch when you asked me if I would hide fourteen blonde wigs in my apartment.”

“They were for CD!” she argues. You narrow your eyes at her and she huffs a little, amused, her lips quirking into a radiant smile. “A’ight. I guess you got a point.” You hum, because of course you do. Her expression turns serious as she sighs, for real this time. “It’s a couple’s contest,” she admits. “But hear me out, okay?”

“I don’t think I have much of a choice,” you grumble, but your mind is racing.

“There’s a couple rounds,” she explains. “Like, the first round is trivia. How well do you know your partner, type shit. They score you, then they eliminate the people who don’t know shit about their partners. Second round is teamwork. They’ll give you a couple of puzzles and the most points will go to the teams who work well together and solve the puzzle quickly. More eliminations, then the partners are separated and they’re asked questions about each other – about what, I’on know. That should be the final round of eliminations and then the remaining couples are ranked based on points and prizes are given. Light work.”

“Light work?” you echo, a little self-deprecating. “Paige, we aren’t a couple.”

“Well, not exactly,” she concedes. “But we know each other pretty well. And can you really say no to the spa coupon?”

You bite your lip, sighing as you truly contemplate it. She’s got you there. The prize itself is worth the heartache that will come with pretending like you and Paige are actually dating. “You sure we can handle it?” you ask.

She pats your side, almost ignorant of the way it sends electricity coursing down your spine. “Duh,” she says like it’s obvious, her lips growing into a confident, assured smile. “We’re a dream team, baby. We got this.”

You could only hope so.

You nervously adjust your dress as you and Paige stand outside of the large room that the Valentine’s Day contest was taking place in. You spent the entire week leading up to Valentine’s Day an anxious wreck – part of you was worried that you would slip up and say something that you would come to regret, maybe say something a little too real. You had to keep reminding yourself that you and Paige were playing a part and once that gift basket was in your hands, then things could go back to normal. 

The two of you dedicated the better part of the week to perfecting your cover story. How you met, where you met, how long you’ve been together, all of the cheesy romance milestone moments that you were certain you’d be asked about. You mutually decided to not get too creative as maintaining the lie would become even more difficult, but you were confident in your ability to sell a story.

“You ready?” Paige asks you, drawing you from your racing thoughts as she squeezes your hand gently. You didn’t even realize her hand had slipped into yours. Now that you’re aware of it, it’s all you can think of. Her hand is strong, enveloping yours completely, and it brings you a calming peace you weren’t even aware that you’d been seeking out. Feeling yourself relax, you meet her eyes and nod, trying not to smile too hard when she beams at you.

As she leads the two of you inside the auditorium, you do your best to not stare too much at her. She’s dressed simply yet elegantly; donning a fitting suit that’s a light pink in color in honor of the occasion, the fluorescent lights overhead reflecting off of her stunning chains and the rings adorning her fingers. Her hair is tied back in her formal slick-back, the diamonds in her ears sparkling, and you really have to drag your eyes off of her. You’d already spent so much of the drive over staring at her and you’re sure she’d caught you a few times but was too nice to say anything to you.

The event had a decent turn out. You count fourteen couples at most, fifteen including you and Paige, although you couldn’t really tell if that was good or bad. Beating fourteen other real, actual, dedicated, in-love couples was totally manageable. So what if you and Paige weren’t actually together, but you were the most convincing pair of best friends the world had ever seen? She said you could do it, and damn it if you weren’t going to get that spa treatment.

The auditorium, however, was decorated to the nines. Lights and streamers were strewn about, various complementing shades of pinks and lilacs matching the Valentine’s Day themes. The tables were covered in pink tablecloths with gorgeous centerpieces. Honestly, you had to give props where they were due – this club has gone all out for this Valentine’s Day event, although you’re sure they probably splurged their semesterly budget on all of the amenities.

Before you or Paige have the chance to say anything to each other, you’re approached by a young woman wearing a pink polo shirt with the club's name and logo emblazoned on the chest. UConn, UMatter. You glance quickly at Paige, trying not to let the amusement show on your face as you remember her words – ‘There was a lot of letters.’ She was so full of shit. “Hi guys!” the young woman greets enthusiastically. “Thanks so much for signing up. What’s the last name?”

“Bueckers.”

The girl nods, scanning her clipboard before finding Paige’s name. “Okay, perfect. Let me show you guys to your table.” She leads you diligently through the room, craning her head over her shoulder to explain. “Madelyn’s gonna be around soon to walk you guys through the trivia section once we start, alright? She’ll let you guys know everything you need.”

You and Paige thank the club member and she offers you two one last smile as the two of you sit down next to each other. Paige’s hand finds your knee, almost subconsciously, and you try to find your dignity. It’s then that you notice the placecard in front of you – elegant script reading TEAM BUECKERS. With a quiet laugh, you nudge Paige’s elbow, drawing her attention to the paper. “‘Team Bueckers,’ huh?” you ask her teasingly. “You forget about me?”

“Never,” she swears. “I think they assign the names based on who registered. Trust me, I had a name lined up and everything. We were gonna be PB & Slay.”

You snort. “I’m Slay?”

“No,” she deadpans. “You’re PB. Keep up, please.”

“Of course,” you say obviously, like it’s definitely your fault. “I’ll do better next time.” She squeezes your knee under the table, smiling wryly at you.

Once everyone filters in, the girl who’d greeted you at the door makes her way to the front of the room, adjusting the microphone. She introduces herself as the president of the UConn, UMatter club, explaining some of their objectives and goals for the spring semester – you tune out a lot of it, which you’ll probably feel bad for later, but you weren’t here for the club recruitment. You were here for the pedicure that was calling your name this weekend. She makes it through the rest of her opening remarks, officially announcing the beginning of the first challenge: trivia. Several club members make their way to designated tables and a short, brunette girl takes a seat in front of you and Paige.

“Hey, guys,” she says, grinning widely and handing the both of you dry erase boards and a marker each. “I’m Madelyn. I’m gonna walk the two of you through today’s challenges. We’ll go back and forth – you answer one, then the other, so on and so forth. If your answers are the same, then you’ll get a point. Ready?” You and Paige hum affirmatively. “Alright. Question for Paige – when is your partner’s birthday?”

Paige huffs, her lips quirking into a smile as she uncaps her marker. “Light work,” she murmurs as she writes her answer down. “It’s a national holiday.” You roll your eyes as Madelyn laughs. Paige flips the dry erase board around, showcasing it to you and Madelyn, and you nod as Madelyn awards you both one point.

“Same question for you,” Madelyn says to you. “When is Paige’s birthday?”

You uncap your marker and write down your answer. October 20, 2001. “The world hasn’t known peace since,” you murmur under your breath, drawing laughter from Paige. You flip your board around and Paige nods smugly.

“Two for two,” Madelyn states. “Next question for Paige. What trait of yours is your partner’s favorite?”

You and Paige exchange a glance, her brow raising teasingly. She writes down her answer and you do the same, eventually flipping your boards over for the reveal. The two of you hadn’t exactly prepared well to answer this one, so you were hoping that you and Paige were on the same wavelength. You lean forward, glancing at her whiteboard, and smiling with relief when you see her answer: she likes my energy. Paige’s smile is smug, but there’s an underlying softness in her eyes. “Don’t laugh at me,” you huff, trying to explain. “You just — you have this way about you, like you’re kind, warm, you make people smile, and you always support them. You’re just genuinely good and, I don’t know, I really like that about you.”

Paige’s smile isn’t any less confident, although she seems a little bashful now, her cheeks tinging pink. “Three for three.” she says.

Madelyn tries to stifle her grin, but it’s clearly not working. “Next question is for you. When Paige is having a rough time, how do you help her relax?”

“With great difficulty,” you gripe, making Paige and Madelyn snort as you write your actual answer. By forcing her to chill the fuck out. You and Paige flip your boards, hers reading a much politer She makes me do nothing all day. Madelyn nods, awarding you the point, but you hardly pay her any mind as you meet Paige’s eyes. “You do too much,” you say, which makes her groan. “You overwork yourself and you microdose a burnout and I have to make you sit down and remember that you’re human.”

“You’re worse than me!” she points out.

You sniff. “This is about you,” you declare, “not me.” Paige rolls her eyes fondly, but she can’t help her laughter. 

“Next question,” Madelyn says, grinning. “Paige, what did you guys do on your first date?”

This was a question that the two of you had prepared for. You both decided that a little bit of the truth went a long way and the truth was that you and Paige had no shortage of quasi-dates that you could easily draw from. You tried not to think too hard about that as the two of you write down your answers. You turn your boards, revealing similar responses of ‘we went to her dorm and made dinner together after one of her games.’

You glance at Paige and she sighs. “Don’t start,” she pleads. 

“I’m actually a little invested now,” Madelyn chirps, which makes you grin and makes Paige bury her head in her hands. 

“All I’ll say is that Paige shouldn’t be in the kitchen without supervision but I really admire her, um, willingness to get creative,” you say kindly. Your best friend pinches your thigh under the table and you jerk back, laughing. Not wanting to embarrass her in front of a stranger, you leave it at that, although you smile at Paige like you’re the only two at the table. “I had a good time, though. She made it memorable.” She smiles back at you, something tender that has your heart constricting. 

The both of you knew the truth, though. Paige was not a good cook. She doesn’t make terrible food — dinner was delicious, but Paige is chaotic and an actual hazard. Watching her chop an onion hurt something deep inside you although she’d seemed so proud of herself. You didn’t have the heart to make fun of her. 

“Five for five,” Madelyn says, drawing your attention back to her. “Next question for you. Who confessed to who?”

You and Paige lock eyes again, a silent conversation passing between the two of you, and you write down her name. You turn your boards, Paige’s name written on the both of them and you smile to yourself. “She was pretty oblivious,” Paige says, referring to you, and your smile falls as your jaw hits the ground. “I dropped so many hints and she just didn’t pick up on them. I eventually got tired—”

“Desperate,” you cut in. 

“Tired,” she emphasizes, smirking at you, “so I planned out this huge romantic thing and at the end, she still didn’t understand so I told her straight up.”

You roll your eyes. “Maybe you’re just not as slick as you think,” you tell her. 

“Nah,” Paige says. “I’m super romantical.”

“Sure,” you concede. 

Madelyn stifles her smile. “Alright. Two more questions for both of you. Paige, what is your partner’s pet peeve?”

“If you get this wrong,” you grumble, hearing Paige snicker as the two of you write down your answers. After you flip your boards, she grins proudly when your answers line up. 

“She hates not being taken seriously,” Paige recites. “She’s an English major. People always think it’s just easy or unimportant shit, like reading and writing papers, but she actually does a lot of interesting analysis and stuff that I never even considered. I’ll admit I was a little ignorant but she set me straight.”

“Wait, I didn’t know you thought that,” you say, honestly confused. 

She shrugs, a little bashful. “I talk a lot but I listen. Sometimes when you leave the room, I’ll read your paper just so I can ask better questions. You get all… glowy. And… I’on know. I like seeing you happy.”

You blink once at her, genuinely touched, and if you weren’t head over heels for Paige before then you definitely are now. She squeezes your knee again, her smile crooked yet tender. Damn it. You are hopeless. 

“That’s so sweet.” You’re a little shocked by Madelyn’s voice, but you clear your throat, refocusing. “Next one for you. What’s Paige’s least favorite season?”

“That’s easy,” you say, writing your answer down. Paige does the same. When you flip your boards, you glance at Paige’s, smiling wryly. “Paige hates spring. She has really bad allergies and all of the pollen is honestly a death sentence, so she’ll get all congested and sneezy and will spend a good two weeks bitching about it and how it makes her Jeep dirty.”

You glance at Paige, waiting for her to say something, but she just shrugs with a smug expression. “Last question for Paige,” Madelyn says. “What is something your partner does to show her love for you?”

Neither of you say anything, but Paige stares at you thoughtfully, another silent conversation passing between you. You don’t need to think about your answer as you write it down. On cue, you both flip your boards, Paige’s reading simply, She takes care of me. You can’t help the way your heart swells, a fond smile overtaking your face. “Before you, I wasn’t really the… you know, the receiver, I guess. Always in control, always expected to lead. You make me feel like I can just be me, which is really hard sometimes.” Paige laughs off the vulnerability, but you see right through it – the painful honesty.

“We’re equals,” you remind her, nudging her leg with your knee. “We take care of each other.”

“Yeah,” she agrees, her voice soft as she gazes at you. “I’m glad that we do.”

You spot Madelyn out of the corner of your eye, which sobers you up quickly. She smiles. “You guys are so cute,” she gushes. “Final question for you and we’re done with this round. What is Paige’s love language?”

You feel Paige’s stare on you as you write, but you don’t glance back at her. You can hear the scribble of her marker, her capping it. When you’re finished, you finally look at her, taking in the soft expression on her face, and despite yourself, a smile grows on your face too. Together, you turn your boards, your answers being the exact same once more — quality time and physical touch. “Ten for ten, baby,” you croon, raising your hand for her to smack her palm against.

“Great job!” Madelyn says. “Let me just go submit these scores and I’ll be back to walk you guys through the puzzle round after eliminations. Sit tight.” She offers the two of you a quick grin before she’s walking off.

“Ten for ten,” Paige repeats, nudging you a little. “We’re like that?”

“I guess we’re actually kinda good at this friends thing,” you retort, although part of you wishes you were anything but.

Paige’s subsequent grin is far too knowing, like she has a trick up her sleeve. “Maybe a little.”

You laugh a little under your breath, adjusting your dress and leaning back in your chair to get comfortable. Before you know it, the scores are officially in. You and Paige had a perfect one, so you weren’t all too worried about getting eliminated in the first round, but five unlucky couples ended up leaving. The two of you watched from afar, trying not to stare too hard at the retreating couples, although they made it hard. One girl walked out crying, gesturing wildly as her partner trailed behind her, a desperate expression on her face. Another one was pure anger, slamming the door behind her. You didn’t think that this club contest would get people so riled up, but you considered that it was probably the realization that your partner truly didn’t know anything about you. You just lucked out with Paige – she understood you.

Madelyn returns quickly and cuts straight to the point. She instructs you and Paige to stand up, handing the both of you a towel, and adjusts your arms until you’re holding the towels perpendicular to each other, almost intertwined. “The goal here is to separate from each other, but it can be tricky because the towels will tangle you up. We’re looking to see how fast you can solve this puzzle and how well the two of you work together. Are you guys ready?” You and Paige nod and Madelyn grins again. “Alright. You can start.”

Instantly, the room around you two is sheer pandemonium. The couples around you are moving quickly, trying to untangle themselves, but it’s clear that the panic is settling in. You and Paige exchange a glance, laughing to each other softly. “Game plan?” she asks you.

“We need to get these like…not perpendicular,” you offer helpfully, and Paige nods, adjusting her arms. The angle change makes your towels bunch up and twist at their centers.

“Spin around,” she instructs. You do as so, the towels untwisting around the middle. You pause to analyze your situation, trying to plan out the moves in your head as Paige does the same.

“Okay, bring your towel over my head and let me step through it.” After that move, the both of you glance down, taking in your situation.

Paige hums. “The rest is easy,” she says. You nod in agreement, a silent understanding passing between the two of you and you move in tandem, twisting and shifting and stepping up until you’re both finally separating from each other in record time, having completed the puzzle. “We’re like that?” she asks you again, her expression smug and satisfied in a way that’s only comparable to when she’s on the court and her lips are curling after sinking a contested three point shot.

“Dream team,” you remind her, letting the victory wash over you, clapping your hand against hers, although she doesn’t immediately release you, squeezing your hand with a proud smile.

“I don’t think I’ve actually seen anyone solve it that quickly,” Madelyn admits. “Or that calmly.” As soon as she says it, a commotion from the other side of the room draws your attention. There’s one couple that are twisted so unnaturally that it looks like they’re playing Twister, but it seems that the girl gets tired of the shenanigans because she drops her towel and storms out with a frustrated yell. “Case in point.”

You laugh and Madelyn walks away again to tally the points and make their final eliminations. Once everything is set, five couples remain out of the initial fifteen. After the last challenge, two couples will be eliminated once more and the remaining three will be given prizes in order of points. You and Paige were determined to finish strong – if the first two challenges were any indicator, you two had this in the bag. True to Paige’s word, the couples were being split up for the last challenge, and she offers you a competitive smile as Madelyn whisks her away.

You pass the time on your phone although Paige isn’t gone for long. However, what does shock you is the sudden bashfulness that’s clear as day on her features, like the last challenge had made her confess something important or she had to be vulnerable. You can’t help the sudden worry that seizes your body, but Paige rests a hand on your hip, squeezing you once with a confident smile. It couldn’t be that bad.

Madelyn leads you into an adjacent room where the president of the club is sitting at a table waiting for you. She smiles when you enter, motioning to the seat across from her, and it feels strangely like entering the principal’s office in elementary school, like you’re in trouble for something. The club president doesn’t spare any time for pleasantries and instead cuts right to the chase, something that you’re grateful for.

“I’m not gonna take up anymore of your time, but after seeing you and your partner perform so well in this contest, I only have two questions for you,” she explains. “This is our second year running this contest and no one has scored as high as you two have, which is kind of insane because the third round scores haven’t been added yet.” You smile politely, honestly unsure of what to say, but the club president continues. “How long have the two of you been together?”

“Going on three months,” you respond, thinking back to the timeline you and Paige had agreed on, hoping your voice doesn’t shake. You are a little surprised by how real your next words feel. “We were best friends for a really long time before then – we still are. Paige is just…that kind of person that makes you feel like you’ve spent forever with her, you know?”

The club president hums, agreeing. She pauses before glancing up at you, studying your features. “What’s something that you haven’t told your girlfriend, but you would want her to know?”

You hardly need the time to think about your answer, responding, “That I love her.” The club president’s expression softens, a smile growing on her face. “We haven’t, um, gotten there yet, but I mean it. I wanna make it perfect for her. She’s given so much to me in the short time we’ve been together and in the time we were friends. And she just…she means everything to me.”

She smiles. “I think you guys are perfect for each other.”

Despite yourself, you smile, a blush spreading across your cheeks. “I think so, too.”

After your solo questioning wraps up, you meet Paige at your table and you offer her a bashful grin, similar to the one she’d offered you when she returned. You don’t have the chance to say anything else to her as the final round of eliminations are being announced. You and Paige are spared, which doesn’t surprise you, and the two eliminated couples take their loss with dignity as they exit. Paige links her hand with yours – final three. In third place, Team Parker. In second…Team Hayes, which means that first place can only be –

“Team Bueckers.”

You and Paige relax immediately, high fiving each other in celebration. What you’re not fully expecting is the tight hug that Paige pulls you into, whispering a fond good job into your ear, although you can’t help the way you soften, sinking into her embrace. She leads you to the center of the room to collect your goodie basket. The various club members send you off with their congratulations, too, and you pretend to not notice the slick wink that Madelyn shoots you as you and Paige walk out.

The night air is cool, making you shiver slightly, and Paige doesn’t hesitate before she’s sliding off her blazer and settling it over your shoulders. You smile gently at her. “You won’t be cold?” you murmur.

“Nah,” she promises, nudging you. “I can handle it. You, though? I’on know.”

“That’s no way to treat someone who just won you these spa coupons,” you say, reaching into the gift basket to wave said coupons in the air. “C’mon, I clutched up, you can’t lie. And to think you wouldn’t have even had a partner for this if you didn’t rope me into it. I think we played our parts pretty well.”

Paige laughs gently, a tinkling sound that carries over the drag of the wind. “You still don’t get it, do you?” she asks, but there’s no true offense behind her words.

You stare at her in confusion. “Get what?” you respond.

“Do you remember that question Madelyn asked you earlier?” Paige says, her steps slowing, tilting her head down to look at you. The street lights reflect off of her face so beautifully, the blue of her eyes illuminated by the soft light. You can’t help the way your heart constricts at the sight. “‘Who confessed to who?’” You hum, urging her to go on. “You remember what I said? That you were oblivious and I dropped a lot of hints you didn’t pick up on?”

The gears in your brain spin for a few revolutions before everything clicks into place. “Oh my God,” you breathe out. “Are you–”

“Confessing?” she says, her lips quirking into a smile. “Yeah.”

“You dropped hints before?”

“So many,” she confirms.

“Oh my God,” you say again. You stop in your tracks, prompting her to do the same. The expression on her face is endlessly amused. “You planned a huge romantic thing – this?”

She shrugs. “The contest was the club’s shit, but yeah. I planned on asking you to come with me to this. I didn’t actually care about the prize, but the coupons are pretty sweet, right?”

You shake your head, ignoring her rambling. “You planned a huge romantic thing, but I still didn’t get it at the end, so you told me straight up,” you finish, partly in disbelief. “You think you’re so fucking slick, don’t you?” you accuse, which just makes her break out into laughter. “You literally sat next to me and told me exactly how you were going to ask me out and I didn’t know? And not only did you do that, but you were right about it?”

“I know you,” Paige says a little smugly. “And I told you that I could be romantical.”

“You are such a pain in my ass,” you whisper, but her arm is slinking around your waist, pulling you into her body as she grins insufferably, and you let yourself be pulled, your hands resting on her chest. “You are literally so annoying.”

Her nose brushes yours as she inches a little closer. “You know what they asked me in the final round?” she says, her voice loud enough for only you to hear. You nod. “They said, ‘What’s something you haven’t told your partner, but you’d like to?’”

“Funny,” you say. “They asked me the same thing.”

She smiles at you. “I told them I’d tell you that I love you,” she confesses.

Your cheeks burn as you register her words. “Funny,” you say again. “I told them the same thing.”

Her expression shifts, something like relief flashing in her eyes, something tender in her gaze. “Did you?”

“Well, I told them that’s what I would tell my girlfriend,” you trail off intentionally. “Seeing as I don’t currently have one of those…”

“Don’t play,” Paige murmurs, squeezing your hip gently, drawing a laugh from you. “Be mine?”

“You gonna share those coupons?”

Her eyes are bright when she responds. “I’on even care about them. Just want you.”

“You’ve got me.”

That promise is all she needs. She smiles at you, happiness in her features, and she doesn’t waste any time before she’s leaning in fully, her lips finding yours. You’re eagerly responding, melting into her as her arm tightens around your waist. You loop yours around her neck, standing on the tips of the toes for better leverage. Before you know it, her grin grows too wide and the two of you are laughing against each other’s lips, the sound of your love and giddiness the perfect way to end a perfect night. If you had Paige Bueckers and her annoyingly charming antics to look forward to, then one thing is for certain – you couldn’t wait to see what she had in store for Valentine’s Day next year.

[byuntrash101]

lovers on the sun

reader x dom!mingi ft. yunho angst | smut | mdni 4.8k you never understood why mingi chose that life. chose to be an outcast, a loveless bandit. over the years you came to terms with it. you got married, you grew. but when the outlaw finds himself gravely wounded his instincts drag him back to you. to the person he's willing to sacrifice everything for. nsfw tags under the cut

plot, outlaw!au, friends to strangers to lovers (?), hurt/comfort (the hurt part doesn't go too hard dw), a lil' angsty but lowkey wholesome, cheating, mutual pinning, good ending, yunho is mentionned but does not appear. nsfw: nipple play, body whorship (f), pet names (baby, doll) oral (f), slight begging, unprotected sex (i mean they didnt have a choice back then), mingi in the cowboy hat and leather coat (im weak for him </3), big dick!mingi, multiple orgasms (f), creampie, cock warming, he's madly in love with you

playlist: jeannette - el muchacho de los ojos trites, david guetta - lovers on the sun, amy whinehouse - love is a losing game

a/n: thank you so much @ssaboala for hosting this amazing collab. and thank you @hwaightme for helping me so much and brainstorming ideas. also i really recommand you listen to the playlist it will for sure put you in the nostalgic western mood <3

ateez masterlist | navigation

You can’t help but be worried as you wake up to a cold bed. You haven’t seen Yunho in a couple of days. You wonder if he’s fine as you look out the window of your room to the cornfields. It’s just after dawn but the hot summer air is already laying heavy over the fields, making the green and yellow stems undulate. 

You sigh heavily, imagining your husband on his horse in his uncomfortable and sweaty uniform combing the streets, the plains, the fields, the whole town, the whole state, maybe even the whole country. All of that on an empty stomach and sleep deprived.

But you knew he wasn’t going to come home before he caught him. Song Mingi. Ever since he was appointed sheriff it has been his life goal to catch him. The public enemy number one. You couldn’t even begin to imagine how much blood this man had on his hands. He pillaged and robbed and murdered. Always slippery like an eel and managing to get out of justice’s grasp.

Until a couple of days ago where he made a fatal mistake. Your husband jumped out of bed in the middle of the night and mobilized the entire department to look for the man. He was hurt and hiding somewhere. He only needed to be found. The dangerous outlaw reduced to a defenseless flower only waiting to be plugged. This time he knew he was done for and Yunho was going to finally catch him and bring him to justice and ultimately to the gallows. Where your husband thought the fugitive’s righteous place was. Behind the church and six feet under.

You chuckled humorlessly to yourself at the name. You used to know this name. You used to know it very well. Or at least you thought you did. You used to be close to Song Mingi. The three of you were. Mingi, Yunho and you. You were just a bunch of teenagers, you didn’t have a worry in the world. But you grew up and Yunho joined the force as Mingi did and you can only guess power got to his head. He eventually got caught involved in shady business with even shadier people. Until he left and became the fugitive. The outlaw you only knew by the wanted posters put up everywhere in town.

His name lost all familiarity. But your heart couldn’t forget about his soft half smile. About the warmth pulling in his orbs when the three of you stayed up in the hill to watch the stars, sleeping under the open night sky, despite the snakes and coyotes. Even the crackling fire couldn’t rivalize with the blaze of his sharp eyes on you. You couldn't forget his rough hand snaking its way on your nape, pulling you closer to lay the gentlest kiss on your lips. You nervously glanced over at Yunho sleeping next to the both you. You felt nervous even if this happened long before you got married, long before he confessed to you. And for Mingi there was not a trace of doubt on his sharp features, no evil in his eyes. Only love. You thought at least.

That was the very last night you saw him. The next day he fled to the valley and proceeded with his life of crime. Your heart ached again, how could he have chosen that life… over what he had. Why would he choose a blood stained pile of shriveled dollar bills instead of this night on the hills with you… instead of this kiss? Instead of you?

You shook your head trying to forget about the uncomfortable feeling of your skin crawling as the wholesome memory turned into bitter dormant ache. You have accepted it over the years. Truth was you never knew Song Mingi… You only knew about the sheep but never about the wolf.

But then again you have to get on with your day, and carry on. Life goes on and doesn’t wait. You have to take care of the animals in the barn.

Since Yunho was the town’s sheriff earned enough money for the both of you it wasn’t necessary for you to have a huge farm. A couple of pigs, some hens, two horses and a cow was well enough and tending to them was the only labor you ought to do. 

You traded your nightgown for a dress more appropriate to work in. A light blue flowy ankle length dress with long sleeves and a high neckline that was going to protect your skin from the hot sun, but would still let you breathe through the light material.

You hoped in your worn out brown leather ankle boots and headed to the barn. First of all, you start by checking if the hens laid eggs, you gently push the chickens to harvest the six eggs and place them in your basket that you set aside then you go to feed the cow. You go to take a big serving of hay and you make a mental note that you’ll have to go by the neighboring farm and purchase some more because you are running out. Maybe the cow and horses have been especially hungry lately. 

You place the hay in the big manger and head to the fence to let the cow take a stroll in the prairie next to the house. 

As you reach out the fence, you nearly scream. The handle is covered in blood. The colors leave your face as you realize that the traces are fresh as you see one single drop on the dusty floor. You squint and realize there’s a trail of blood going out the barn. You follow the trail circling the barn and landing behind it, the trail disappearing behind tall weeds and bushes that you had left unattended for quite a while.

You pushed aside the leaves and discovered some rags maculated with blood and at the end of the trail a man, lying, his back resting against a small trunk, sitting on a pile of hay. Barely holding off.

Mingi didn't even know why he dragged his mutilated body out here to rot in the sun, he didn't know why he took that chance. He just had to. If he wasn't going to see the sun rise again tomorrow then he at least wanted to see it set on a familiar face. A face he held in his memory so dearly. Even after all these years. 

After all this time, when he finally sees it, the face he pulled through thick and thin for. Your face. Your face emerging from the bushes. There are not enough words in the world for him to express the relief he feels. He doesn’t have enough time to carefully curate them and voice them outloud. So he only chooses to smile.

You, on the other hand, felt your heart jumping in your throat, the frantic muscle getting stuck there, making you swallow thickly as your eyes grow in surprise. You have trouble believing your senses. Have you stayed in the sun for too long? Have you contracted yellow fever? Can you trust your eyes, reflecting this image of the past? A figure you thought (and maybe even hoped) you would never see again?  But you know your eyes aren’t deceiving you the second his lips curl into a half smile, rounding up only one of his cheeks. The familiar sight takes you back to the hills, to the crackling bonfire, to the starry sky, to the warmth of his orbs. Even if you see the red tint of diluted blood on his teeth and the way pain twits his eyebrows. It’s the same. The same smile you remembered.

“Mingi?” you finally breathe out, broken voice hindered by your heart still sitting in your throat. Barely audible. But still heard by the beaten man. 

“Hi doll” his deep voice echoed yours, hardly louder than a whisper. 

There’s no resentment, no hatred, no evil in his voice, in his eyes. And for that instant you forget about the endless tales of horrors, about the murders and the blood and you forget about the wolf. Because you see only the sheep, hurt and needing your help.

You throw yourself on your knees next to him, you wrap your arms around him, careful to avoid the wounds. 

Mingi closes his eyes and you lean against him as he suppresses a cough. He almost forgot about the smell of your hair, about the warmth of your hands, about the sound of your voice. Almost, but he didn’t. He could never even if he tried. He could lose everything but you. And if you were only a memory then it was all he needed.

***

You brought the man inside, limping and leaning on your side. You sat him in the wooden and creaking chair of the dining room. The tall man grunted as he settled down.

You kneeled next to him. And very carefully, you lifted his long leather coat to uncover the blood maculated shirt.

"So... How does it look doc?" Mingi joked, even going as far as to lightly chuckle before the sharp pain on his side wiped the half smile off his face.

"Let me help you" you said, carefully peeling the fabric off, the coagulated blood stuck to the opened wound, making Mingi wince as he felt the air blow on his sweaty skin. You ran your finger across his skin, carefully avoiding the wound.

Your touch was so soft, so gentle. Mingi sighed, closing his eyes. Your tenderness almost making him forget about the pain jabbing him. It's been so long, so so long since Mingi has felt this. He hasn't felt a soft touch in a lifetime, a contact that was free of any kind of aggression, that didn't demand anything from him, that only intended to soothe him.

It's been so long since he's felt safe.

That was the word. He felt safe. Safe with you even though he was half naked, wounded and unarmed. He felt safe.

You took your time to treat the wound, cleaning it with what you had on hand, which was the rest of a bottle of home distilled bourbon, warm water and clean rags. You patched him up and handed him his hat back.

"You should go, Mingi" you started after a long silence. You tried to conceal the lump inside your throat as you enunciated the heavy words.

Mingi looked up at you, grabbing his hat. He didn't want to go.

"Y/n.. I-"

"You know he might come back. If he finds you here he's gonna..." you hesitated. “Finish the job”

"You mean kill me?" Mingi looked you dead in the eye, a coldness laying latent in his orbs, a coldness that gave you shivers along your spine even with the hot sun heating up the windows of the small dining room.

You closed your eyes shut trying to chase away tears. After all these years and all he’s done. You couldn’t bring yourself to hate him.

Mingi wanted to scream. Why did he get to be with you, to touch you, to lay next to you every night while he was perpetually running, fleeing and living on the edge of the world like a wild dog. Barely surviving on the sole memory of you and the love he felt and feels for you.

"Mingi..." you started hesitantly. You had the chance to ask now, maybe this opportunity would never represent itself again.

"Why did you kiss me that night?"

Mingi’s anger evaporated into smoke as his eyes snapped to you. For all these years he had feared you somehow resented him. That somehow the tales of his life came back to you and poisoned your heart. He feared that you too saw him as the bandit, the outlaw he had become. But there was no hatred in your quavering voice, no bitterness pooling in your orbs. Only incomprehension and sorrow. 

Your eyes were glazed over by a sheen of budding tears, drooping in sorrow and you looked up intensely at the man. 

You waited for an answer, you waited long enough, you waited for years. And waiting again for those few seconds was too much.

“Why did you kiss me if you were going to leave me Mingi?” this time you called his name. And Mingi felt like the question had wrapped around his heart and was holding it tightly, squeezing it until the agonizing organ gave out.

“What did he tell you?” Mingi finally spoke, tipping his cowboy hat down, making sure to conceal his face.

“What?”

“What did Yunho tell you?” Mingi reiterated, this time his voice broke, echoing the shattering of his heart.

“I-” you started, stuttering.

“I never did any of those things, y/n” he finally rips the hat off his face, the disheveled and sweaty hair adding a layer of urgency to his state of despair as he raises his voice in frustration. “Yunho planted the evidence! He framed me! Because he couldn't stand that I was to become sheriff, he wanted to control the city, he wanted the power and he wanted… you…”

Mingi took a deep breath, his voice softening to a whisper. “He wanted you for himself. Because that night I-... I-” Mingi hesitated as you hung on his lips. “I wanted to marry you, y/n.”

You felt the blood vanish from your face. You became livid and your vision blurred, your world was crumbling before your very eyes.

“This is impossible” you whispered more to yourself than anything else.

“In the morning I told Yunho that I had kissed you and wanted to marry you and he couldn't bear it. So he framed me as a bad man to get me out of your life. I ain't no saint! I know! But the rest of it, I only did because I needed to survive. I stole to feed and killed to defend myself. Never in cold blood. Y/n, you have to believe me!”

Mingi’s words were mushing together barely making any sense in your ears that were already rigging, you felt dizzy, you felt ill. How could that be the man you married? The man you shared your life with. The man that looked at you with the most innocent big round eyes. The man that you knew cherrich justice above all else, so much that he didn’t care that sword of justice he was wielding struck his best friend because he was led astray and that was the treatment reserved for criminals. 

But that was all an act. It was never about righteousness and justice, it was about vengeance and envy.

Your knees gave out and you stumbled onto Mingi’s chest. He caught you in time, wrapping his strong arms around you, grunting as you pressed your weight onto the fresh wound. 

Your life was collapsing. Your chest started to heave up and down rapidly, your heart racing as your reality faded to black. Nothing to anchor yourself to. Nothing real, nothing you could hold on to to keep yourself afloat. Only lies and smoke. And you fell and fell into panic and into Mingi. 

Suddenly you were back again, back from the darkness and you looked at him to find your peace again, both lost in this familiar silence. He protectively wrapped his strong arms around you, and soothingly pressed your head against his chest, the leather of his long coat brushed against your cheek as Mingi held you just like that. He felt his warmth, you heard his heart beating against his ribs and you felt… him. Not the outcast, not the outlaw, but just your friend Mingi.

Ever so gently, with a softness you had never ever known from a man, even your husband, he wrapped his hands made rough from labor around your chin and gently lifted your face upwards, you found that Mingi’s eyes were as deep as the sea, just as mysterious and alluring, strangely welcoming.

And slowly, very slowly Mingi closed the distance between you. Giving you all the time in the world to voice your desire for him to stop if you felt that way. But you didn't want him to stop, instead you gripped at the long coat tighter, somehow afraid that he too was a mirage, a body made of haze that was just another lie. You had to make sure he, at least, was real. True.

And he was.

When your lips connected you felt as if your body has gone up into flames, open fire bursting from your chest to your heart, convincing you to close your eyes, and give complete access to Mingi. But even though he didn’t that use trust to his advantage, he didn't engulfed himself into you. Instead he gently deepened the kiss, taking the time to let you warm up as your fingers relaxed around the worn out leather. Mingi’s hands were getting to know you, caressing the soft cotton of your dress. His rough palms contrasted greatly with the softness of his touch.

Slowly he parted his lips, his tongue gently slipping into your mouth inviting your tongue into a dance, giving a few kitten licks and getting to taste you, you moaned when his hands reached down to the small of your back. 

“Mingi” you breathed against his mouth. There was no words to describe what that simple word did to him. Simply his name gently murmured like this. It was like having an angel speaking of the devil's name so fondly, so gently. He didn't feel worthy but there was plenty of time tomorrow for guilt. Today Mingi only had time for you.

He gently laid you back onto the wooden dining table and you hoisted yourself up on your elbows, he leaned over you as his kiss spilled from your lips to your neck. You whined once when your lips mourned the loss of his warmth and once when you felt his hot and wet tongue glide across the thin skin of your neck, you let your head fall back as Mingi progressed further down until he’s met with the collar of your dress. You don't want to lose the way he feels on your skin so your hands quickly busy themselves with the buttons, practically ripping them off to take the thick fabric that separated you from Mingi off you while he watches with this signature half smile, satisfied to see you so eager to expose yourself to him. 

As soon as you’re done with buttons he latched on your skin again, sucking on your collar bone going down and then up the curve of your breasts until he reached your bra he swiftly reached around to unclasp it, he drew back to see the way your beautiful breasts spilled out of the article, gently falling over at each side of your chest. Mingi’s breath hitched in his throat as his eyes avidly roamed over you, taking your form in. 

The way his eyes turned sharp as he looked at you made you squeeze your thigh together as your felt arousal pool into your lower stomach, heat spilling into your underwear.

“So pretty” he murmured before he wrapped his lips around one of your nipples, immediately hardening into a tight nub. He flicked his tongue on the erected knob while his warm hand kneaded the other one, perfectly distributing his attention to your body, already feeling sensitive. You arched your back and pushed his face further into your skin when he sucked on the hardened nipple, making your moan his name. 

“Fuck- Mingi” you panted. “Don’t stop”

Mingi briefly stood back up to take the long coat off, only harboring the leather vest that let you admire his toned arms flexing as he ripped the coat off to throw it over one of the chairs. He didn't even bother taking the dress off you, only flipping it over your stomach as he pulled down your underpants, leaving your bottom half completely nude. 

Suddenly coy you pressed your thighs together, shielding your modesty from his ardent gaze, he looked back up at you with knitted brows, such desperation swimming in his eyes, as if he absolutely needed to see you.

“Please” he exhaled. “Please let me see you, y/n” he pleaded.

And you finally parted your legs, first your feet then your knees and finally your thighs.

“Fuck” Mingi cursed as he palmed his aching  lengh throught his pants. He was finally seeing you, like how he imagined you a thousand times. But even the wildest dreams could never live up to that reality, to the truth of you, you were breathtaking. The way your beautiful center was already swollen with need, twitching in anticipation to be touched, your folds covered with the glistening sheen of your juices lazily running down your entrance. 

Mingi felt like he’d finally seen the light. Like redemption was within grasp, somehow contained within your holy form. He felt like he needed to worship you, like he needed to get on his knees and so he did. 

He kneeled in front of you, snaking his arms around your things and grasping at the supple flesh to pull you closer to him, bringing his lips close to your most private of places.

You felt heat rush to your face and chest as your heart raced, uncontrollably hammering into your chest, menacing to break free anytime as Mingi dug his nose right into your folds. 

“Oh my g-” you gasped as soon as he made contact with you. Your head immediately spinning, your core quivering and demanding more.

Mingi planted one soft kiss on your sensitive bundle of nerves, then went to your entrance where he flattened his tongue to swiped it across, spreading your folds and scooping as much as your slick as possible, earning a whimper from you. Mingi wanted more of this, of your sweet taste, more of your honey coating his tongue, more of your beautiful voice singing soft melodies into his ears, more of your beautiful face looking down at him in pleasure, glossy eyes pleading for more.

“Baby” he moaned against you before burying his face into you, flicking his tongue on your clit as you moaned again, louder this time. Mingi concentrated on this part of you, assaulting your clit with flicks after flicks, jolts after jolts of divine pleasure, spreading heat in all of your limbs. Mingi felt your thighs tense up in his hold and he suddenly let go. 

You whined as you felt your desperate center throb for more of him. You looked up at him right on time to see him sink not one but two long fingers inside your tight heat. Immediately curling them into your sweet spot. Your eyes rolled back to the back of your head, once again you let out a lewd sound that bounces off the walls making the hairs on Mingi’s nape stand and his length leak arousal. 

“You like that?” he asked, deep voice a little more impatient.

“Yes!” you exhaled. “Please more, more” you begged, your eyes coming back into focus.

“Of course, doll” he said before coming back down to your demanding center. He pumped his long fingers in and out of your heat, each time your eager little cunt pulled them back inside, tightly gripping around them. He wrapped his tongue around your clit, sucking and licking until you were on the verge of your release.

“Please” you said, your hand flying between your legs to keep Mingi’s face exactly where it was. “Don’t stop” you breathed, your thighs tensing, your swollen clit pulsing under Mingi’s wet and hot tongue.

“Fuck” you said, pressing on his face a little harder which made him smirk agaisnt you. “I'm cumming” you said in a strangled moan, you legs trembling your orgasming center gushing more and more of your honey , completely quenching Mingi’s thirst for your sweet nectar, walls fluttering around his fingers as he guided you down.

Mingi hurriedly kicked his pants off him and stood between your legs, large cock resting heavily in his palm, the head made red and shiny with precum.

“Please give me another one of those” he whispered with edginess, deep voice strained with need. “I wanna see and hear that again.” he rubbed his cock against your folds, mixing both of your essences into one, drenching his length with your slick. “Please this time cum on my cock” he gently pushed his tip inside you, closing his eyes shut as he felt your walls fluttering around his cock head, finishing your previous orgasm around his cock, your pretty little pussy pulsing around him as he continued to push himself in, breathing heavily to keep himself from bursting on the spot.

“Fuck” he cried, finally peeling his eyes open. “You feel so good around me baby” he breathed. “You’re so pretty, so perfect” he praised you. Taking a good look at you. You were stunning, beads of sweat running down your temples, your breasts spilling from the half undone dress, said dress completely wrinkled and roughed up, not hiding anything away from him anymore. 

“Ok” you said, out of breath, pushing a dampened strand of hair away from your face. “Make me cum around your cock, Mingi” you said, spreading your legs even wider, giving Mingi an even better view of his cock splitting you in two.

“Fuck-” Mingi cursed again, immediately taking you up on the offer. He started to pull out only to push back in again, just as gently. The way his girth split you open made you moan his name. You whimpered at the delicious stretch of your walls accommodating his generous mengh as he filled you up to the brim so perfectly almost like you were made for him entirely. 

“Please harder, Mingi” you said, your fingers pulling into the leather cropped vest, where you could see from underneath his toned abs and belly button. 

“Of course, doll” he said as he picked the pace, a wince of pleasure sneaking on his face when you gripped even tighter around him, letting out a satisfied groan. 

With each powerful thrust he was grazing against your g spot making your moan and arch your back, pushing your hips into him everytime he pushed himself back in.

“Fuck you’re so good to me baby” he panted, a large bead of sweat running from his hairline along the bridge of his sharp and long noze. 

You only replied with more moans, growing louder and louder as you both fucked each other, rocking the dining table recklessly the sound of your skin clashing and filling up the space along with groans and grunts.

“Baby, I'm close” Mingi said in a strangled and high pitched moan that was far from the usual deep voice he used.

“Me too” you answered “Please inside” you struggled to make sense. “Please cum inside me”

You didnt care about the consequences right now, moreover you weren't even thinking about them. You only thought about Mingi deep inside of you giving you the raw, rough unfiltered love you have been needing for years. Ever since he kissed you back on the hills. And suddenly you were back at the hilltop again.

Your body started to shake as you came undone again as Mingi delivered large and thick ropes of burning cum inside your heat, your name slipping off his lips a thousand times. Both of your bodies going up in flames, throwing each other in the fire that lighted you both as he kissed you again.

You pulsed uncontrollably around him, as he became sloppy, his thrusts more shallow and irregular until they came to a stop. He crashed over your body, panting, chest heaving up and down as you stroked his hair. He stayed inside you for a while, his cum lazily dripping out of you. He didn't want to lose this connection with you, he wanted to stay right there. Right here with you.

***

“Come with me” Mingi said as he was ready to hop on one of your horses, as the sun was setting over the fields. 

“Mingi I-” you started.

“Forget about him” Mingi cut you off before you have a chance to mention your husband's name. He took your hands into his big and rough ones. “Come back with me to the hills, y/n” he said. You opened your mouth to speak again but Mingi didn't let you talk. He was afraid of your answer. “We won't have much but we will have each other. And if I have you then I have everything” he pressed his chest against yours and you heard his heart beat into your ear, testifying of his true feelings, much deeper than any words. 

This was your chance to let the deceiving lies behind to embrace a life of true love. And you took your chance. As you hoped on the horse right behind Mingi, leaving the empty house behind. You held onto him, your fingers found their way and intertwining with the leather again as you rode into the sunset, lifting the dry dirt in your wake. The stars finally crossing as your destinies took the same path. The sun meeting you on the horizon, inviting you with it.

Two star crossed lovers on the sun.

ateez masterlist | navigation

a/n: phewww it is done! i cant even begin to explain the STRUGGLE i had while writing this but i hope it turned out good? maybe? it was wayyyy out of my comfort zone if you liked it please tell me in the comments or reblog (pls don't use the community labels please) or leave a nice ask. that would mean so much <3. anyways thank you for the awesome collab anne @ssaboala. don't forget to check out the other authors' amazing fics here. byeee~

[pumpkinsy0]

U got any curtis gang new yrs hcs??

unfortunately they wont leave my mind, so yes i do

•look im basing this off of me cause its sm fun to do, but when its nearing 12am, pony likes to put on a song that he RLLY liked that year, like its carrying him into the new year, its comforting!!! usually near that time u wont find him in the living room, but alone either outside or in his room

•soda gets suupperrr sentimental, hes the friend going around telling u how much u meant to him that year, he has NOOOO shame about it, hes a lover what can he say

•dallas doesnt attend their new years party, believe it or not hes not the HUGEST fan of parties he never stays for the full amount of one, if he does go to the house, he stays for 30 minutes before running away and the gang doesnt see him till the 3rd of january, nobody knows what he does or goes, but he always comes back so its whatever

•johnny and pony have a thing where they either fistbump at midnight or blow those party horns at each others face!! they would always bet on who would get a midnight kiss bonus money if they guessed who it would b w

•YES, steve and soda have been each others midnight kiss btw, u could take this as romantic or not bc it was never on the lips, only like forehead or something “as a joke”🙄

•i dont think steve is that much of a party animal, at least for a new years party, he has a habit of going outside, watching illegal fireworks that really should classify as bombs while thinking about his life and throwing party snaps on the ground, then going back inside to live it up so he doesnt get too sad blah blah blah repeat. he gives the rest of the party snaps to pony and johnny

•the curtis gang will leave up christmas decorations for MONTHS, they dont rlly buy new decorations. two bit however loves to take the mistletoe down to put it in a new place and annoy surprise everyone by screaming whos under it

•the gang wuestion dally on the times square ball drop a lot, hes went ONCE and will always rant about how stupid and annoying it is, he says its like top 3 worst new years ever bc of how cramped it was but the gang will notttt believe him, they think hes just being grumpy

•u can expect to hear allllll of darrys new years resolutions bc hes making some for himself AND the gang, u leave trash on the floor and he passive aggressively suggest a new years resolution for u to throw it out😭ill tell u what tho he follows through on his resolutions for the most part u gotta commend him

•when i think of johnny and new years i think of tyler the creator being upset that he was making a stupid ass sandwich into the new year

•alternatively when i think of two bit and new years i think of camilla cabeo??? i think it was???? and her tweets for new hears where shes like “i havent showered since last year” and she was doing it consecutively each new years

•mrs curtis made this tradition to take a new years picture each new years and the gang WILL keep that alive!!! they choose one person from the gang to keep the photo forevveerrr and everrrrr

•the gang also makes a time capsule!! this was something they didnwhen they were wayyy younger but some of the gang still make it, althought there is this one time capsule literally EVERYONE forgot where it was buried so its just somewhere chillin in the backyard</33

•do u guys think they would drive over to the curtis parents’ graves and hang w em for a bit, pouring alcohol and soda to commemorate em,,,i think so,,,,theyd do the same for dally and johnny

[catlover-multifandom]

(in a free mood again here we gooooo)

Free canon moments I think about a lot

Rin writing “fuck” in the elementary school yard

mecha salmon roe

the mr steal yo mako face (you know the one.)

Steve the cat existing

Haru and nagisa working at wcdonald’s or whatever it’s called in the freeverse

romio mentioning florida

haru makoto asahi and kisumi having a hangout in asahi’s apartment (at least I think it was his, it was in a df episode)

tomadoburiranchinburiranti!

makkou the dog

🎶 tabidachi no asa ni miageru sora ni 🎶

Haru and seijuro being friends

Haru’s mascot obsession (relatable im also obsessed with yuru kyara now)

Rei in the novelization

“Nagisa’s mermaid” video and then it got booed when they accidentally played baby videos of haru and makoto lol

Nagisa’s sister’s sketch friend that isn’t quite her boyfriend

Kaede coming back from the concept art grave in s3

the high of s3 in general because I remember counting down the days for it to come out and oh boyyyyyyy summer 2018 has such a special place in my heart. pure euphoria!!

Rin giving Sousuke a koala shirt

MATCHING FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS

everyone pointing out that Rin has cleavage

“no chips at the pool” **SHOTS FIRED**

Makoto’s mixer nightmare

Rei getting drunk on chocolate

the fact that makoto haru Nagisa and rei would have sleepovers together and haru gets so happy to be with them and he fell asleep early HES SO CUTE

Haru and asahi getting worried thinking makoto would fall for mlm scams in Tokyo

Haru’s profile picture being Iwatobi chan

the squid festival drama cd track and Rei’s puns from s1 that everyone ignored

Haru and Albert’s friendship happening because they just like the same fish and they don’t need words to eat mackerel together

Rin crying over the rat movie

shizuru’s existence in general. he’s so funny and silly and he looks like makoharu had a child

the mackerel body pillow that makoto gave haru for his birthday

continuing off the last one: the team thinking haru turned into a mackerel and nagisa telling makoto he has to kiss him to make him back to normal 💀

the scene in s1e1 where Nagisa kicks the can to scare makoto

Rei being uptight and serious and very professional man™ and then gradually loosening up and being less guarded and being his genuine silly smart self and having fun and you can see how much love he has for everyone as the show goes on… and the love and genuine affection he has for his friends keeps increasing even when you thought his heart was already the biggest it could get. it gets so much bigger. and the fact that he learned to swim and got to nationals for an individual event in 3 years. Rei I love you no one could ever make me dislike you you’re a beautiful butterfly

the general babygirlification of rin matsuoka as the series progresses

free mastering the “character that is a jerk at first but the second they’re forgiven/not a jerk you absolutely love them to pieces” archetype (rin, sousuke, hiyori!)

haru being an old man when it comes to technology: “sorry I haven’t looked at my phone in 2 weeks”

perfect body

haru almost dying like 10 times throughout the series

haru giving makoto his gold medal in that one artwork AAAAAAGGGHHHHWJFJEDJEKS

more of a fandom thing, but the whole makoto train scare back when fs1 came out

in df when ryuji is trying to teach haru and makoto translates it to haruspeak, they show you makoto smiling when haru turns around and half his face is cut off from the screen because he’s shorter than makoto lololol

Haru trying to escape the premises the second he sees kisumi

the scene of haru driving in Tokyo and makoto freaks out the entire time… guys I think they somehow got actual footage of me driving when my mom is in the passenger seat

the reigisa montage before their races at nationals in df. MY HEART

the entire show honestly… if there’s one thing you got from this post, it’s that I will never be free of free (I’m perfectly happy to keep it that way)

[akkpipitphattana]

Apologies for the incoming essay... Re. Kant and choices and him choosing to involve Style - look, nobody's out here trying to say Kant's eligible for best friend of the year! But there does seem to be a lot of retroactive woobifying of Style, attempts to exempt him from the current tangled web, etc., when, lest we forget, he agreed to try and seduce a man FOR A CAR. He then proceeded to stalk said man, and to disrupt and exploit a grief counselling session FOR A CAR. Of course Kant shouldn't have involved him (but when your options are limited and you're desperate, you're not always thinking straight), but it was Style's own a) automotive greed and b) bruised ego (after their vehicular run-in) that got him where he is today. It was a bargain that he himself suggested - it wasn't even Kant's idea! Let's be honest, he could've just said nah mate, you're alright, and what could Kant have done about it? Style is not untouched by the taint! And that's okay - let him be messy too (the fact that he'd already had a couple of fraught encounters with Fadel even before Kant introduced them was a deliberate decision on the writers' part)! He had his own agenda going into this which he'd need to apologise for regardless of the added assassin shenanigans, and once he's in the know, he becomes as responsible as Kant for what happens next - they're both faced with the same choice: confess in order to try and keep the brothers out of jail, or stay schtum, despite their misgivings, out of fear for their own lives. And they both chose the same path. All four of them have been lying to each other from the get-go, for multiple complex reasons, some maybe more valid or understandable than others, but point is that none of them are squeaky clean and ALL of them bear at least some responsibility for the colossal shitshow that they now find themselves in! And that's what makes it good TV!

(I'd also like to point out something I find interesting, which is that Kant's rhetoric with Style has always been about looking out for number one - he tells Style he's doing it to clear his record, get those charges off his back, outside the restaurant he talks about having to prioritise saving your own skin over everything else, even though that makes him sound a bit cold...but he's not doing it for himself, is he? He's doing it for Babe. He's doing it because of the repercussions that would fall on his little brother's head if anything were to happen to Kant, whether that be jail time or an early grave (though I'm not saying he'd be a-okay with either regardless!). Babe has been his driving force the entire show (as yours and others' beautiful meta has explored) - Kant does the OPPOSITE of prioritise himself, and has done so since his parents died, and that's why HE'S in this mess in the first place. But, to the best of my recollection, he never invokes Babe when he's trying to win over Style, and I can't decide if that's because it's a line he won't cross (though he did sort of cross it when using Babe as an excuse at karaoke, or does that not count cos it was a lie?), or because he truly doesn't see himself as self-sacrificing so wouldn't even think to frame it in those terms to someone else. Or a combo of both!)

I think part of the reason the Kant slander (by which I absolutely don't mean legit critical analysis or taking the well-earned piss out of him!) bothers me is because I'm conscious that First is, at least to a degree, aware of the negativity (and tagged into some of it because ppl suck), which is why every time I look online he seems to be apologising on his character's behalf. And yes, it is in jest, but, knowing he's an inveterate people pleaser, I also get the sneaking suspicion it's also partly genuine, which makes me sad.

yeah, aaaabsolutely agree with everything you’ve said here. like i think the argument about style has more merit too it, but at the same time im still sat here thinking, what was kant’s other option? because bison gives him this stipulation: if you want us to date, you have to find someone for fadel. and kant cant just cut his losses and say okay, then i guess we won’t date. he has to get close, he has to get this information. so he has to involve someone else, retroactively. and we can argue about if he should have told style the full truth from the beginning, but not only do we see the captain specifically tell him not to do that, but i think kant is well aware it would not have worked if he did. style would have blown the operation out of the water way too soon, if he even agreed in the first place which the odds of him doing without having some investment into fadel would have been very slim! like it sucks, but realistically, what else could kant have done that would have allowed him to do what he needed to? what other choice did he have?

and like you said, style is far from innocent! none of them are innocent in this! thats the whole point! and that’s the big thing, too, because it’s meant to be this complicated messy thing. they subbed in the women from taming in the shrew for assassins because it allows for this intense sort of courtship that was brought on by misogyny in the play, while also allowing us to understand that fadel and bison aren’t innocent, either. that they’re all fucked up and messy in their own ways.

and yeah, i think getting into the babe of it all just isn’t something kant is willing to do for the most part. i think he tries to keep babe out of it as much as possible, but using him as an excuse to get out of there was the most realistic thing he could do, especially when bison has already seen that protective brother side of him. and i also think that kant just doesn’t view himself highly in general. he doesn’t think of himself as selfless or self sacrificing because he knows the awful things hes had to do in order to keep babe safe and in his custody - and while maybe for other people knowing it’s for babe would help his case, he doesn’t feel that way. because obviously he wouldn’t change it, but it doesn’t mean he liked doing any of it, that he likes the lengths he’ll go. especially when i think he thinks if babe knew, he wouldn’t like any of it, either. babe already didn’t like just the lying to bison. can you imagine what he’d think if he knew kant had drugged him once? if he knew all of it was built on a false start? kant probably thinks babe would hate him for it all as much as he hates himself for it.

and as for the first of it all, i do hope despite the media literacy some people lack in it all that he knows he did a fucking incredible job with kant. i say this as someone who has been making detailed posts about first’s acting since the eclipse, but i genuinely think this is his strongest and most nuanced performance. hes made kant so, so clear and easy to understand if you’re paying attention, and i love him so dearly for it.

[confusion-est]

hello let's have a friendly scholarly debate ala academic and protégé

i definitely feel some choices were rather weak, the beast bite could have been his own consequence due to actions he took, but there's definitely a more realistic (somehow, in our werewolf story) feeling to the "wrong place, wrong time", as that is, indeed, how most tragedies are, but an action and consequence would be far more satisfying narratively, and his scholar aspects were woefully underutilized by this narrative too, besides a concoction section that i don't even think is possible to fail, while sarmenti's second fight leaves you on 9 stress intentionally, so every move feels like a tense "oh no what if i did this wrong"

the choice to use damian as the torturer is one im absolutely behind, we see one of the torturers escape in the original comic and i love the "oops! all damian!" aspect of where the story's going, even if it does loop back around into comedic rather than tragic, for me at least, and gives further reason for his discharge from the church if he's similar to the fanatic in his zealous violence (i.e. beyond the control of the church)

they definitely failed to utilize him being a scholar like alhazred or paracelsus and did go for the cheapest option (wrong place wrong time), but it's, technically, the most realistic. however, i think the reason it feels as weak as it does is entirely due to the lack of narrative curiosity on what the creature was, so we're not left strung along by subtle hints, it's just "it bit him and now he's a Beastie". there's also a failure to go into the nature of what he has, with how it appears that this is a transmissable disease rather than curse or concoction, especially with the academic's own trapped abomination in his study

they do, however, do very well with spectacle, and the cutscenes did absolutely get my heart pumping, plus the moment of being sure you failed only to see "RESIST" become your only option was absolutely wild in the moment, even if the initial fight leading up felt less polished than, say, either of dismas' fights. it seemed to be purely a buildup to that spectacle of the transformation, which is understandable in a way, but still, as a paid dlc, then i'd want even the less important segment (human segment) to be just as tense as sarmenti's and just as well done as dismas'

overall? i think it is of a decent quality, with high quality animations and fun barks and personality, but the story is, unfortunately, quite weak to get there, even if i did enjoy it for the most part.

what do you think?

(Hi, I just wanted to say thank you so much for sending me this ask, it made me really happy and excited, since it gave me the opportunity to yap a lot. I agree with a lot of you say and you did make me rethink a couple of matters so thank you for that! I still wanted to share some of my insights, so I'm sorry if this is a little disorganized/chaotic.)

True I would not mind The Beast manifesting due to bite if it was a consequence of something. Yes, one could argue him wandering into the moor with no safety precautions is the consequence, but that's about as brutal as telling a child they got ran over by a truck while riding their bike because they did not wear a helmet. Really, I feel The Beast gets introduced too fast. I know they've only got 5 chapters to cover important story aspects, but I feel the story would flow better if it started with an introduction of who Bigby is/what he does (like how Sarmenti's story introduces him as a busker, how Audrey's story introduces her as freshly wed into money and how Paracelsus is introduced as a daring student, etc.) I believe that would also lean better into wrong place, wrong time if we still went with "well he just got bit while gathering herbs", because then by chapter 2 he would be in grave danger already - like first chapter we get a serene introduction to his alchemical woes and such and second chapter you get a sudden catastrophe - which is also a common trope and something that does happen irl. It would still feel somewhat weak, but the realism would've been retained… Although I'm not sure his story needs realism of that sort? I mean, I think art is allowed to exaggerate events, feelings and personalities to create a more compelling, intense and mostly interesting story. Sure, him suddenly getting bitten is realistic, but it's just not compelling. It's not fun, it's not intriguing. People don't read tragedies (which Bigby's story is) to just say "aw damn that's kinda sad", they read those to engage with a character, to understand them and feel their sorrows. To connect and to go through a sort of catharsis by sheer empathy (at least that's what ancient tragedies were about and I think the sentiment is still mostly retained). Sure the bite being such a random event adds normalcy to the whole situation, but nothing else and imo weakens the entire story overall. It'd be much, MUCH more interesting if The Beast was effect of his experimentation, his pride, his curiosity. Would be even more interesting if The Beast was originally the "intended" effect - something similar to Jekyll and Hyde , where Hyde was originally created as an outlet for various socially unacceptable desires. Those could be interesting, because you could get themes of pride, dehumanization, lack of attachment and you could generally create a discussion on what makes one human and such.

I generally feel like The Beast is as painfully underutilized narratively as Bigby's background of an alchemist. Like yes, he gets bitten by what I assume is another abomination, survives, The Beasts hunger gets him in trouble and then gets him out of the same trouble. Sure it's there and Bigby practically does not exist without it (I'll get to that when I talk about barks), but…. It's hollow. There's nothing really, it's just kind of a shadow that lingers. And sure, that could be interesting if handled well, a cautionary tale of intense paranoia, but it's not even that, because The Beast can be a tangible being that causes havoc and destruction. It exists as less than an animal I dare say. In DD1, there was a bit of ambiguity around The Beast, a lot even. Bigby was an unreliable narrator when speaking of it, often contradicting himself (depending on an affliction he would claim a different amount of control over it - for example a Fearful Bigby would speak of how little control he has over it, while Abusive Bigby would claim to be able to bring it out any second he wants to). So basically we didn't know if it was part of him or a completely deattached entity, save for shared body. We didn't know if it was sentient or not, we didn't know if what Bigby mentioned of it's whispering was true or his own imagination/paranoia playing tricks. It was, by virtue of the unknown, eldritch monster, that unexplainably attached itself to Bigby. And that was compelling! That was interesting, because Bigby himself was a very flawed person with a lot of desires, wants and regrets! It was fun to look at these and wonder what is their problem. It was fun to think of their shared dynamic, if there was any and again questions about self, what is a 'me' and generally ego. DD2 doesn't offer any of that pondering because it very plainly explains - it's an infection caused by a bite of the animal. That's it. There's nothing to ponder, save for origins of The Beast, but considering the state the world's in, you can probably just say "corruption" and leave it at that. It's just. So plain and boring, it makes me mad honestly. A lot of DD2 stories attempt to expand the lore of preexisting characters, add them new depth and such, and while I can recognize this attempt despite some failures, in Bigby's case it's a total disaster, I feel the lore got shrinked, not elaborated on.

I cannot however agree on inclusion of Damien, I honestly think it was unnecessary, but it also comes from my issue of how I understood Damien in DD1 and how drastically he was changed from that in DD2. Frankly, any of his appearances in DD2 feels like a caricature and not in a self-aware way. Gonna go on a bit of a tangent here, but DD1 Damien feels like such a misunderstood character. Yes, he is a fanatic, he is absolutely delusional and deranged. But he doesn't do it out of pleasure of flesh, in fact quite the opposite. He often describes pain and suffering as a burden that only he can bare and that it's something he wants to take from others. He doesn't see pain as privilege or desire, but something necessary to get enlightened, to ascend, to essentially be a good person. He associated self-punishment STRONGLY with being good. It's also a matter of him being a beggar before the revelation, someone who kind of wasted away and did not contribute to society. Someone who was rejected by it and could only try to take a little, just enough to survive. In that context him becoming so frantic and insistent of only HIM being able to take all the beating and not sharing the suffering, it almost reads like shame. Like he needs to punish himself. Like he needs to give back and be useful. Yes, he's weird about it, but at core he seems to be struggling with just existing. The purpose is so important to him that losing it again means death essentially. And again, it's not that he physically enjoys pain.

"Must the burden weigh on my mind as well as my body?" "Clear this mind. Clear this mind. Clear this mind." (this specifically is said when damaging himself) "I hesitated upon the path. Let the blood soothe my faith!" "What I once feared, I have become!"

Like. He clearly is not exactly enjoying himself in the common sense, but feels the intense need to push through, because if he starts feeling any fear and chickens out of this life, he'll go back to being a beggar. A corpse. A nothing. He will become nothing. And that fear (ironically) of another fate awaiting him is so awful, he'd rather suffer over and over. Feeling something over nothingness. Another thing to note is that during Final Missions if you choose him as the sacrifice he says "I've waited long for this! DON'T TAKE IT FROM ME.". He doesn't even see value of his life as it is, but a death so noble, a pure sacrifice would free him from it. He would be complete, carrying the ultimate burden of death. Also yes I do understand he can hurt his teammates during affliction and criticizes those who deny pain, but that's why I say he's deranged. He at core is a good person, but he still does some uncharitable deeds, again, in belief he helps. Which adds another layer to him imo.

And going from that kind of character to what we see in DD2 just feels like a parody. He's cruel and does not see pain as purpose, as freedom and right to exist, but as punishment and only that. What's worse is that Torturer implies (as well as his SoR text) that he enjoyed slowly torturing people to death. What he once would've taken as his, as a very dear gift of existence, a proof that he's not rotten yet, he now does just inflict of others cheerfully. It's almost comical how evil they try to write him. His first shrine does also mention that he simply sees pain as power rather than something dear and I dare say intimate to him. They made him so hedonistic for no apparently good reason. Like I do not mind character retcons and changes in characterization if it's for the better (like the character was originally boring, so they retcon some details to add depth). In Damien's case I feel that completely backfires. Again I understand the desire to change character, but my question is why? Why change a character that was already well established and honestly beloved by many people. Of course, most didn't notice how tender Damien could be in his rants about Light, but I did and it feels frustrating to see the character so watered down. And to see him repeatedly appear in other characters backstories is just a strange choice. In vestal's case he should've backed out the moment he saw The Light and that's bypassing the fact that he would probably not beat the shit out of her, but start by a conversation. A manic and insane rambling of a conversation, but a try nonetheless. Same for Bigby, he wouldn't get instantly to beating, seeing he's already wounded, mistreated, malnourished and such, but again start with rambling. With hope. Not with lash. And about the church discharge, I honestly think it's a bit weird framing that church is the "timid" one as he explains. Churches kind of have a history of corruptions, don't they? I feel like him being expelled would not need a reasoning, but also I think there are a lot of interesting ways you could go about "they didn't want him here" that go beyond "he's a little too freaky".

I know this is a very subjective/personal preference, but because of this Bigby's shrine impact is much lessened to me.

I do absolutely agree about the RESIST! part tho. As much as this is my least favourite shrine, it did have the best (imo) moment. It's good, it's tense (especially that the fight can be failed) and it really does feel like a catharsis (something I earlier mentioned that's core to the genre of tragedies). It feels good to see it in action, it's a natural "breaking point" of the story and that animation is wonderful. Really, visually RH did a lovely job with the visuals and the peak. But yes the fights overall do feel a bit weak (earlier mentioned by you concotion "puzzle" honestly feels more like filler than anything…).

As for the barks I have mixed feelings. I feel like some of them are good and feel in character, while others seem to drill in very hard how pathetic and sad Bigby is. Which I guess is not that majorly different from how he is in the first game, I just feel he has a little less bite. Like first game didn't shy away from showing him as wanting and somewhat needy while still wounded, here it's just misery and wishing for suicide (which I admit could be interesting if pushed further, that having a paranoia of bad things happening so strong it ruins you). Mind you I have not seen all of them so I may be wrong on this.

Overall I can't agree on the DLC being decent, I would say it's rather mediocre, at least from the Abomination standpoint, with a bit of highlights that honestly kind of make the dlc.

[funnyscienceman]

do you think mages in runeterra ever feel shitty about being different from their peers. do you think the idea of being less than human or more than human or not entirely human or not even being counted as human kinda just chips away at their mental? how does it feel like to be looked at as dangerous or weird just because you can — what, flick water over from the stream to a bowl because you have a natural connection to it? because you can feel the potential for fire in the air if the right gasses or materials hit at just a certain spot? well what the hell do you mean you can't feel it? is that supposed to make you distinct from human?

i get the whole thing abt superpowers being a bad or inaccurate metaphor for IRL minorities bec the entire reason irl discrimination is bad in the first place is because it's so arbitrary and made up of lies and hatred and fear, but runeterra is literally just the words magic earth. magic is normal for runeterra. magic is literally the air and the trees and the sky and the ground. some people are connected to it, some are not, and that's fine. maybe we don't know why or how mages and non-mages happen but does the reason matter so much as whether or not a person's gonna be shitty about it?

i keep thinking about graves not having even 1 hint of a superpower, just a guy with a gun and a lotta grit, and about that devt video for the A New Dawn short where they wanted him to be completely unfazed by the magic and the spectacle. and there's twisted fate beside him, whose magic is totally unique from every other champion in the roster; we have no idea where it comes from, why it is the way it is, all that stuff — we just know that twisted fate is a mage, he's got some kind of gift of prophecy or omniscience or something to that effect, he channels it all through cards… and he just uses it to scam people and steal shit. same as anyone who's equipped with lockpicks or knives or their own wits instead.

sona's story implies demacia doesn't really have its own sign language, or at least the prejudice against magic is so deeply ingrained that sign language could be mistaken for performing magic, and so she can't really communicate comfortably with her family in public. and it's like, jesus christ, at that point exactly how many steps is that from assuming someone's summoning demons just because they're not speaking english?

arcane season 2's story is so weird to me because of this. like what exactly is the arcane? is it a separate type of force from spiritual magc, celestial magic, elemental, all that stuff? it uses runes, is it rune magic then, the stuff ryze works with? in brand's short story, ryze describes magic as wanting to be used, so i guess it wouldn't be too far off

how is it like to be a plain human in runeterra? nevermind piltover and zaun and demacia, ionia seems to be doing fine, right? noxus is just like yeah, use whatever skills and talents you have at your disposal. magic or tech or weaponry or whatever, glory for noxus smth smth. half the bilgewater cast is normal people with guns rather than magic or spooky fish stuff so it can't be all that bad

there wasnt really a point to this it's just 3am and league lore is rotting my brain. i think canonizing arcane was a mistake. or at least it wouldn't have been if riot realized they could just leave it at s1 and seamlessly integrate it into existing lore but like fuck all of that i guess. writing that first paragraph felt like describing transness but with extra steps so im now declaring both TF and taliyah as trans. you can try prying that from my cold dead hands.

[nightfall-1409]

Writer's Update

Hi everyone <3 sorry things are taking a bit of time, I'm going through An Ordeal and that has regrettably been the case of late. I don't like to publicly air too much, but it's led to some delays. Not dead, but, just some updates under the cut with some snippets <3

So I, As My Mother Before Me

Obviously my mother's day side story for sabine missed the deadline, I'll get that out ASAP (as soon as its done), and the teaser for it is that it covers Sabine's 'missing' time in the fic, and threading the needle wrt Ursa, Myles, and those sorts of background elements in the fic, as well as letting me, Nightfall, meditate on what exactly I want to have the connective tissue be for her background. It's probably for the best it got delayed so much, as it'll contain some spoilers for later content in (Re)Convene, depending on how long that takes me to catch up.

Snow makes the world quiet, still, and then she interrupts it. Sabine gasps as she feels it against her flight suit, cold, and sudden, and wakes in a horrible instance. There is snow and trees all around her, and the forest is quieter still.  She knows this forest, but it’s an impossibility. She stands, barely needing a moment to collect herself before she’s calling for, “Ahsoka!”  There is no one around.  She lowers her rangefinder, scans her surroundings, ignores her gut screaming at her that she knows this place. Hu-Yang or Ahsoka would chide her, tell her that she should at least make the attempt of meeting her surroundings, connecting with them.  But that is not her way, it is not the Mandalorian way, and in an emergency scenario where she didn’t know what was happening, she’d not out herself to their enemies.   She’s bringing Ezra home.  She’s not here.  This place isn’t real.  This place is gone, and they knew that it was being destroyed when she... Her rangefinder interrupts her thoughts, and tells her that she's on Krownest, and she bangs her hand down into the soft snow of her home again in a fist.

(Re)Convene Ch. 41 (Ezra) The Flash Of the Dark

hahah I do apologize for leaving you lot on that cliffhanger...im working through it :) In the meantime, the opener.

He finds that his teacher is in the library, and there’s an older woman next to him, grave and sad.  Quinlan’s expression too is serious.  Ezra responds by shelving any and all irritation about how many different places he’d looked in before finding the Shadow here.  “Ezra.  About time,” Quinlan jabs anyway, clearly intending to be playful and Ezra bites his tongue.  “This is Master Kostana.”  Quinlan introduces; and Ezra straightens further— this is who Obi-Wan had mentioned. “Master to Sifo-Diyas.  The council asked her to visit the Archives, to aid in the investigation of the Sith compulsion.” “Oh,” Ezra pauses, piecing together what all that means, before he softens his expression.  “Thank you for your aid, Master,” He bows his head forward slightly, and she waves one hand.  “I ought to thank you,” she says after a moment.  “For bringing his lightsaber home.” Woof.  Ezra can feel it at her side.  It is not a happy thing to know, though, and further… Ezra’s not exactly good at handling those sorts of conversations.  “Well, I wasn’t the one who…”

Other fics: Things are progressing, but perhaps not as quick as I'd like... on account of the fact I'm aiming for the clone bang sign ups at the end of June! No Spoilers yet! 😘 But I look forward to revealing it in good time. I hope to get it to the 10k mark by sign ups close on the 30th, I'm about halfway to that point rn.

[localgardenweed]

Ok I was originally gonna write how I wanna go back to Eddsworld and do stuff for it again but felt out of the loop with the modern fandom and shit but ended up being a rant about how I hate Beyond so like gonna write this again but keeping part of the rant cause i need to share how much i cant stand Beyond again

So like I wanna come back to Eddsworld cause as much as it was a dumpster fire for me it was my first real fandom I was apart of online so it holds a place in my heart. I mean probably technically whatever I did on Framecast was my first ever online fandom space but shhhh that dont count i was but a wondering traveler looking for my place in the world. It actually got me into Eddsworld someone made a animation to Youth by Daughter and had me hooked. But still was very important to me and my art development.

Its so crazy to me cause i was into Eddsworld HARD in the 2016-2020 era where alot of the ig modern fandom was born i watched cities fall and crumble I was deep in the amino trenches, Pork Sodaing and seeing so much historical fandom events happen before your eyes. I was watching everyone consume every piece of Prince of Mints and Moho art I was a sucker for them which probably wasn’t okay for like a 5th grader but i definitely turned out all right /j.

I left for a little bit on and off cause Hetalia was choking me and like keeping me prisoner but like it still had a place in my heart for it but like ya know i still was there but idk now I just dont find the same spark anymore from the first go around. Something changed and maybe cause i just had my tastes change and maybe cause my ex-best friend was making fun of my oc all the time but i made him when i was like 11 and figuring out identities and ways to express yourself without sticking to the gender norms and dealing with alot of stuff at the time i finally caved and just didn’t feel the same any anymore about the show.

Cause I loved that fandom more than anything but, I don’t know I just don’t know how to get back that spark and go frolic in the fields with my TomTordOc love triangle of my 5th grader dreams and just be cringe and free and feel joy again but I just cant enjoy the material anymore like THEY ARE MASSACRING MY BOYS WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO THEMM

It doesn’t hit the same and i know i dont need to consume Beyond i doubt anyone actually does at this point but i cant stand beside while they murder everything i loved about the Classic and Legacy eras.

Also just, I think I hit a road block with it too like, I got stuck on where to do and what to do with Eddsworld like. I make aus i made ocs i made a ask blog i made animatics, now what? And like idk i felt weird and like stuck in the mud with them. Also just had the friend falling out who was also the co-creator of the ask blog so now i dont know how to pick it back up all by myself again but them again i really was just doing it by myself all the time anyway so i just have to figure out how to get back into the swing of things

I have some ideas for aus and maybe just finally be free and bring my oc back from the grave for realsies and make you all consume it but, I don’t know. Im scared to come back cause also weirdly alot of the new fans are younger than me or the older fans are older than me so its kinda awkward, also im just awkward im scared to talk to people online, there is and were some people i desperately wanted to be friends with both in and out of Eddsworld but im too scared and either just watch from afar or abuse the Anonymous function in ask boxes. 

If i cave enough i might come back to Eddsworld to at least finish my lore for the ask blog cause IM SORRY I LEFT YALL HANGING I HAD SCHOOL AND THEN JUST FORGOT ABOUT IT but forever haunted by the people who like every single post and then i get excited cause i see like 99+ notes waiting for me and i think one of my new posts blew up but no its just the ew boys who screw around likes and reblog and the occasional comment

One day ill return to my rightful birthplace and one day I shall be free and one with nature and draw as much as I want for it and as many ocs i want without someone telling me its cringe or make more for the ask blog or hell start doing animation and animatics again

Ok here is the Beyond rant now if you wanna read it

I feel the difference between Beyond and Legacy is that, Beyond is trying to horriblycopy their older brothers Classic and Legacy and almost dumb it down a bit with more childish humor, and Legacy takes inspiration from Classic: It’s different but a natural difference/evolution. Or the fact a whole new guy was writing it all with a slightly different style so he wrote what he knew idk maybe a bit of a factor idk

Also i cant stand the Tord bait sorry I cant, especially when they used to like get annoyed by the fandom by asking and then just realized he was a cash cow so like now we get Tord merch and the hints and Tori and the skit with the cavemen like OMG TORD- and he got crushed by a rock thanks gang, cause like dude I think as much as we love Tord like maybe this go around respect Larson’s choice to like not use him in the series anymore and take him out but like ig that doesn’t apply to merch so yeah lets do one more go around bring out the red one. Or idk maybe they contacted him and was like “yo dude can we like use him for merch” but i dont think that happened. I think it was just better to leave him absent from the show and be like “yeah no Tord guys, no Tord” and we could have all had our thumbs up and be like “Ok Eddsworld Beyond we are okay with that”. Like I know Red October was for charity but idk it still felt weird to use Tord, like could this really not have just been the main 3 or like bring in some deep cut old characters or side characters did we really need Tord here.

[sonny-whorezik]

haiii ... like a week short of a month since i left everything.... i just wanted to use as Journal and catch up before i do Fully return to social media, gettin rid of the app after this post yet again:

has . been . rough. grief has been consistent the last month from my best friend and now ex leaving me, losing that new job due to being physically sick from grief and being unemployed an additional month, my best best friend my dog, sage, passed away last friday and although i left to drive to kansas i just didn't make it in time. She has wind chimes over her grave and passed listening to the sound of the wind chime my great grandma left for me. two days after her passing marked the First Full Year since my grandpa passed away, i had a dream the night before where we drove around looking at christmas lights with people no longer in my life and he just looked so so sad. i am consistently physically alone; i facetime a couple friends but i go outside alone, sleep/wake up alone, eat alone, this has been going on since i left arizona in november Most of my time is spent completely alone.

ive tried new habits. i meditate and stretch in the morning and night. i read a page a day of a stoicism book my dad got me last year with a propeller hat. i see a therapist weekly, wake up earlier, even floss now. The complete back to back to back grief has left me no choice but to just Do Something. while i would Love to share something with someone its best i reserve it to myself, yet here i am vacantly sharing my last month to who knows who...

my friend invited me to see stop making sense last night in a farther town, showed the original film not the remastered and general admission was all standing and everyone acted as if it was a real concert dancing and singing. this was my 6th time seeing it in a theater. did not cry once yet celebrated the experience i have had and although i will never have anything quite like i did with someone quite like them, at least i had it for a good portion of my life. had to devote this must be the place to myself, foreign. to be completely transparent, i do miss them every day. i do not cry like i used to, i dont let myself get consumed by thought and feeling, ive grown more desensitized as time has passed, but i still miss them of course. i consistently see things that remind me of them even when theyre not on my mind and when sage died i wanted to reach out so terribly; reminisce of the fort we built where she slept with us and i had no one to talk to but my mom who was with her til the end. i didnt. i havent reached out. it is not my place given they were the one to leave i just will not keep reaching out and chasing someone who sounded so blatantly apathetic on our last phone call. i tell myself it was just a form of self preservation to them but yknow. like. that's it, i have no choice but to experience grief with self compassion and continue on, wherever that goes.

i may be starting TMS treatment , having magnets zap my brain 5 days a week, 6 weeks. i see a cardiologist on the 30th since my chest frequently hurts and both ekgs have concerns in the pause between beats. my pulse at resting is consistently around 120 yet my blood pressure is fine; who knows. well i guess ill know actually in 10 days. im finishing a vape, got a full pack of cigarettes ive yet to touch yet plan to quit smoking here soon in hopes it helps. maybe after my pack to eliminate temptation yet not waste my money... i bought it an hour before sage passed. i barely drink coffee and dont use energy drinks anymore i do what i can for my heart now.

atticus still sleeps with me, most nights. sometimes he wanders the living room when i cant sleep. im almost halfway through galapagos. i washed my sheets for the first time since buying them in august. im very much alone and this is all fine i tell myself. the stoicism has encouraged me to alter my perspective on things more rationally as opposed to the wired self deprecating and depression-based "take everything personally" thought processes ive had for 18 years. im on my phone significantly less and i even wrote a piece on piano i may share after this post. ive been transposing it to cello, my grandma requested.

i have no interest in perusing anyone anytime soon still, whether its still too early or what i think i do just Need to do these things alone for a while. ive never found sole stability in others, i learned this at 6 with my dad, yet while outside aid would help, it is not a requirement to live however. forgive me for how long this is and for leaving once again there are a few of you i used to talk to daily and now ive just got a few contacts in my phone.

despite chronic mental illness, mourning, loneliness, you name it, ive never taken this approach before. i will typically have a suicide attempt yet here i am doing a pancake stretch and ommm-ing every morning. i keep as busy as i can, today i went through every single thing i own to sort donations and the day before i deep cleaned. there is a box wrapped in a blanket of some of the things that remind me of them. i went through it today and brought out some things like the books theyve given me, it doesnt hurt as much anymore to remember. im donating the mugs i never gave them and the one theyd use at my house when theyd come over. all their letters havent been reread yet sit in between the photo of us in the cave. it was nice to see. i am so honored they let me, of all people, share these experiences with them. i am more thankful it happened then miserable itll never happen again; at least i had it for a while. i say this yet if a year passes and i hear from them, i would love to reconnect: hear how their life has been, what they've been doing, how their family is and if they are doing better. if this has helped. while for 6 years i believed they were really it for me, whether we ever dated or not ive always considered them the only one who Really Knew who i was, how i worked, you name it. although im "moving on" by taking care of myself more, it is upsetting to admit if i ever have a chance again, id take it in a heartbeat. i say this yet still believe Even if i do never get a chance, that's okay too. While i would, i dont anticipate it, rely on it, sit in denial "theyll surely come back," its alright if they never do. i live each day as if they never will yet to my core do know that i would try again

a knee ways .. i hope you, whoever reads, is doing okay, that you feel alright and what not. you dont have to feel good every day, but at the least alright i hope ... not sure if/when ill come back maybe just once a month im unsure yet .was just in a solid enough state to do this for a moment . wish you all well ,

[halfmoth-halfman]

IM BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN, EXCEPT THE BUILDING IS 141!!!!! LET'S GOOOOOOOOO BABY!!!

At first when I saw Canary had no gun wound, I was like - Did she not get shot??? Did someone else take the bullet for her??? (my memory do be bad, my bad - but the angst potential of someone else getting hurt in Canary's place...yummy) And then I was like, is she dead?? How's she gonna get her revenge on Graves and Makarov and Makarov's bratty daughter???😧

I'm glad you kept me on my toes with that lol.

Finally had an interaction with Adler.....in heaven. That talk was necessary for Canary, I think. I think nothing can motivate a jilted kid as much as their desire to enrage and spite their estranged parents. (Too relatable for me, cuz I'd have done the same lol) Even tho a lot of shit Adler said was unfounded, it did fuel the fire Canary needs to keep going, especially if she wishes to enact revenge on those who wronged her. And you wrote this scene beautifully! (but I also wonder if this talk, esp with Adler being all "Trust no one" would make Canary paranoid af and refuse any help from 141. Or maybe she'd accept their help in taking down Price/Makarov, but would be hella distant and try to remove herself from the entire '141 is family' thing they've got going on?)

And Price is now in jail cuz Graves framed him for attempted murder????? Oh hell to the nah!

Like idek what Price and Canary are now, after everything that has happened. But if Graves goes around framing my Price for something he did, they'd be hell to pay. I'd raise a fucking riot, bitch!

As always, amazing chapter. And I can only wait for what would happen next. Does Canary recover? Does she get Price out of jail? Does she have a run in with Makarov, or Graves? What would Shephard say to her if she just barged into the police station and demand him to release Price as he did not murder her, since she's standing in front of him....alive? So many questions and theories to ponder over, hm....Can hardly wait for where the story goes! Have a great weekend, Moth. You deserve it after serving us with such delicious fic updates <3333

- 🍄 anon

alskdjasdlas i'm sorry all i could think about from that first sentence is canary coming back from the dead and just being like:

eggman voice: "i've come to make an announcement. phillip graves is a bitch ass motherfucker!"

ok so before i decided canary was going to get shot, i toyed with the idea of someone take a bullet for her instead. there was a very brief moment, where this chapter was going to end in either price or ghost's death, but i love them both too much and they need to have their redemption so i couldn't do that to them LOL

i agree, i think it was necessary for canary. she needed that push from adler, someone to light that fire in her in a way that only he really knew how to do. he knows how to push her buttons, how to get under her skin in just the right way to get her to act, but this time she's taking things into her own hands. and like, of course, she wants to get revenge of graves for her own reasons but choosing to go back and break down her father's golden child just to spite him? if there's one thing the adler family is good at, it's being petty.

adler definitely left a lasting mark of paranoia on her, and i think she'd be hesitant to trust the 141 even if he didn't just because of the events of the past five months. however, she does know she's going to need their help at least while she recovers, so i don't think she'd immediately burn that bridge. though who's to say what she might do once she's back on her feet. i guess it would depend on if the 141 tries to make it up to her, and if she wants to be in a more forgiving mood 👀

price sure is in jail, i wonder what's going to happen there. the rest of the 141 seemed stressed and surprised to see canary awake, imagine price sitting in a cell for however many weeks thinking she's dead and it's all his fault. :)

i don't think even price and canary know what they are. they certainly know they aren't together, but i imagine price still has major feelings for her (now paired with a lovely glass of guilt) so it would probably be up to canary whether to try and rebuild that relationship or not.

it'll be interesting to see what graves tries to do, esp now that canary is def not dead and actively trying to take him down. even more, it'll be interesting to see what shepherd does in light of this new information.

so many questions and theories!!! i'm so excited to see what everyone comes up with in the time between chapters omg

thank you so much, and i hope you have an amazing day and week!! 💜

[bothwolvesandgirls]

So i actually wanted to wait before talking about how i feel about the JJK ending in case my thoughts changed because i tend to have emotional, knee-jerk reactions.

After waiting a few days; I still hate the ending

spoilers under the thing

Im gonna be nice and start with what i liked.

I love that the kids are (relatively) fine. Im glad theyre happy. Im glad theyre alive. They deserve the world. I love them.

I actually really, really loved Sukunas ending. Its easily the best writing we got in these last five chapters.

....and thats about it.

And, if im being completely honesty, Sukuna and Uraume having such a well written end kind of pisses me off because like... so it was possible for everyone else too? All these characters could have had meaningful endings? It was possible all along?

Because these last five chapters have been rushed as fuck and everyone can tell the pacing has been all over the place. There is a reason that the Dream Theory became popular, you can only explain inconsistincies with dreams/hallucinations.

These characters, these teenagers, just got out of the most traumatic fight of their lives... and they just carry on? Why aren't they given a moment to reflect? And I mean beyond their battle strategies and what they could have done better.

Why did no one talk about Gojo? Other than talking about how it was all his fault? Why was his death not acknowledged? His students love him, we know they do, why would they not talk about it? He was cut in half, he almost won, they bet on Gojo. He died.

And no, i didnt want a ten-page funeral or anything, but zero acknowledgement??? We get a blink and miss grave moment for tsukimi, also badly handled btw, but Gojo gets nothing?

Yuta fucking wore Gojo's corpse. Its not mentioned.

What is the point of having Yuta become a "monster", to have him not let gojo be the only one, if its not at the very least talked about. Yuta loves Gojo, this was a horrible thing to do, he said so, but we dont get a moment other than a quick (weak) explanation on how he survived when we last saw him it was in Gojo's failing body, on the floor.

Nobara just might be the only character thats brought back to life as a shock value and I love her more than anything but what was the point beyond shock?

Megumi gets the absolute worst ending in my opinion. He doesnt progress. We are told over and over again he has insane potential, he can be incredible, he can do so much... but the writing never allows him to progress as a character. He ends where he starts.

Characters were killed off as shock value and then we find out, randomly, they didnt die actually. We learn about new shadow style lore when it adds absolutely nothing to the story in the final five chapters.

And I will say it, Yujo was nothing more than a shock value moment. It cant be anything more than a shock value moment when its not acknowledge as one. It was shocking, it was there for a little bit, and then it ended randomly.

some ppl are acting like ppl are angry at the ending because Gojo didnt come back but the ending would be just as rushed and bad if he had come back.

(and my very personal thoughts on Gojo is that it would have been cool if he did come back. I dont see how his story can complete when gojo doesnt progress as a person either. He saw himself as a weapon and he died as a weapon and he was used as a weapon. Wouldn't it have been more powerful for him to learn beyond that? For him to learn how to make human connections? for him to finally stop chasings geto's shadow? It would have been powerful if the strongest sorcerer of modern age came back without his six eyes but whatever, i digress)

Im not even going to get into all the plot points that are just left in air because i dont think i have the time for it.

And no, an ending doesnt have to have every single little thing be explained in it to be meaningful, it doesnt have to have everything you want in it to mean something, but this is clearly rushed and it upsets me because i love this story.

I love jjk, i love the world, i love these characters, i think its super cool and it love it. But now all i can think about is the rushed five-chapter end.

It doesnt even end the way it pretends it does! The ending makes you believe the cycle of abusing sorcerers is over, that sorcerers arent cogs in the machine, that the shady HQ people are dealt with... but students finished a mission (easily, sure), higuruma isnt charged and he guesses because higher ups did something about it, and these kid-soldiers arent given time to reflect about what happened and carry on.

We have a whole arc called "premature death" like this. The cycle doesnt end, no matter what the ending wants you to believe. As far as the story is concerned, its going the same way.

Hell, the finger is placed in the same place it was originally stolen from. (Im not angry at that, its cheesy but thats it)

Look i dont hate gege. I think he's terribly burnt out and i sympathize with him because we know how the manga industry works. I just wish this could have been handled differently.

So... no, its not The Worst ending of all times. Gege isnt some demon.

Its just... disappointing, i guess, that this is the ending such an incredible story got.

[randomwriteronline]

Krakua thoughts... Krakua thoughts? Krakua thoughts. Krakua thoughts

Since thinking of human!Krakua as albino ive decided he cant see for SHIT. my boy can distinguish Colors and Vague Shapes and that is IT. He can read only if he squashes his face on the tablet or someone reads out loud. this does mean that the details he finds important and the physical descriptions he gives are very funny tho. like Axonn is "very wide, big hands, silver-red-black", Mazeka is "small, goes vroom, white-grey", and Jerbraz is "noisy"

Speaking of Jerbraz, hes the one Krakua is usually assigned to when Helryx decides to send him on a mission. Partly bc they get along fine, partly bc Jerbraz has a sort of "least likely to hurl the boy through the roof by accident" babysitter feeling about him, partly bc who can sneak better into places than a permanently invisible guy and a dude who can just Not Make Sound

Also Jerbraz is easily Krakuas fav member of the order. Like a large fucked up invisible cousin who can and will kill for you if you ask him nicely

Second favorite is Axonn. Big hamds comforble. Perfect to nap in

He used to be incredibly soft spoken due to Loud Sound Will Kill Us All but has since grown into speaking at varying volumes between normal and deafening, though if greatly distressed he will go back to barely perceivable whispers

I do think he absorbs all sound all the time as a reflex, at least in part to avoid fucking Dying (sound cant hurt him in the lethal way it used to when he was a matoran anymore but you know, the trauma of everyone he knows dying due to loud noise might have left some lasting impact. Just guessing). He doesnt get overwhelmed by the build up of elemental energy bc hes constantly making noise purposefully or not so hes in a sort of feedback loop where he supplies his own noise to absorb so he can make more noise etc etc

He loves being around people! People are mildly terrified of him. It doesnt help that hes very sneaky and will show up Anywhere uninvited no matter how krakua-proofed one makes the place. He crawls in like hi guys what are we doing :D and everybody else has a heart attack

I cant get over the idea of him meeting Jaller and being so immensely excited about finally having a chance to experience a sonar so he can replicate it that hes just like BLAST ME BLAST ME BLAST ME (sonar blast) (the worst 15 seconds of his life) OURGHHHHH OK IM GOOD DO THAT AGAIN (sonar blast) (another properly horrendous 15 seconds) AURGHRHHHHHH and Jaller is like "can i stop" and Krakua goes NO ANOTHER TIME IVE ALMOST GOT IT (sonar blast) EIURGRAGURGHHHHHHHH

I may have mentioned it before but Krakua is fucking brutal in combat. Sparring with members of the order could kill a weaker being very easily and he refuses to tone the intensity down in actual fights because hes learned the best enemy is the one whos knocked out cold on the ground where they cant bother you anymore! He's been taught to try and not kill whenever possible since hes still a Toa and not technically fully affiliated with the order, but they do still need to get their hands dirty so he has full permission to torture, scar, threaten, gravely injure, break, debilitate or overall traumatize opponents if he deems it necessary or useful. You can see why other people might be scared of him

Also bc i think of him often being all up in peoples faces due to shit eyesight, lots of excitement and very poor socialization i for some reason have imagined him all over that boy like some kinda lovestruck siren. Third time his captain of the guard charms strike. Bitches love a man who can never die correctly ig

Flapper girl. Thats it thats the thought

Related to that, a fight with him is like a rhythm game in hell. Its a rhythm game for him bc hes hitting every clue flawlessly. Its hell for his opponent bc theyre getting beaten within an inch of their life

In somewhat direct relation to the above, he should also have Something going on with Tobduk. I dont mean friendship or romance or rivalry or mentorship i need something more sinister. Its about their similar backgrounds and trauma and their place so strangely close to Helryx's side. Some kind of grim feeling between them, like a sense of terrible inevitability. You will be me. You will become me. You already are me. It pervades everything when they're in each others presence. Tobduk finds some kind of cosmic irony in it. Krakua doesnt like it. They speak of it in long uncomfortable silences, mental shields rendering the Suletu's powers null, and it's very unpleasant.

His staff should be hollow so he can play it like a didgeridoo. Imagine being in a fight with some willowy kid and he pulls his staff to his mouth and a loud wooaoaooo sound just fucking crushes you against a rock. Thatd be baller

I think he has. Some mildly morbid thing about destiny. He doesnt really have a duty nor unity so instead he leans hard into the third virtue and more specifically the whole "there is an unavoidable reason for why everything happens" aspect of destiny, because it makes terrible things like the mass murder of his village and the possible repeat of that situation with the Order of Mata Nui (if you interpret him becoming "the lone hero of a besieged island fortress" as all other members but him dying) more bearable. Maybe once he meets his destiny he will just wait to die, because what needed to happen happened and he has no purpose anymore. Maybe he will be caught in a loop where his destiny keeps fulfilling itself over and over, because he keeps seeking out the requirements to fulfill it whether hes conscious of it or not.

[inventedfangirling]

this post is 100% a joke and none of it is to be taken seriously but WHAT if i let my imagination run wild and make up a buncha bogus clown predictions cos i need to get them out and i need sandray to be happy!?

i know it's silly to think about a possible happy ending for any of the three(or more) pairs in messy gays the show (idk who coined this but i love it and am copying it, thankyou) especially this early into it's run while we haven't even seen the half of it BUT i still want to put forward my two cents now so i can come back later and check this post out and laugh at how wrong i was. im going to go as wild as i possibly can (within the limits of the show) so i definitely will be going wrong. i can't wait to see just how wrong lmao.

lemme just put on my clown makeup real quick.

alright now that's done, without further ado.....

nick & boston

...are gonna blow the group up and mess everything up for everybody, they'll be fighting in front of everyone but they'll be in cahoots at some point, playing everybody off each other and then somehow riding off into the sunset with a buncha cash to a land where nobody knows them, boston is still sleeping around (i dont totally buy his words from the ep 5 preview) but so is nick now, finally having discovered the joys of non monogamy, the last shot is gonna be them setting foot in this imaginary land and its gonna be epic

sandray my beloveds....

....are gonna fall in and out of love one after the other, never at the same time ending in a huge fallout and they decide to part ways forever until fate (ray keeps showing up at places sand gets invited to sing at) intervenes and brings them back and gets them to fall in love at the same time once again and this time despite all the nickboston fuckery and every other mess the group gets to, they get together and decide to stay together, their last scene is ray taking sand to his mother's grave after having been proposed to on a beach or a boat (what up eclipse reference) and its gonna be so sickly sweet we wonder how we got here from where we started!

top & mew

i know im not writing a fic but its kinda similar so TRIGGER WARNING : mcd

ah topmew, ngl i have no fcking clue what these two are gonna be upto. i genuinely have no read on their future as a couple. it just doesn't seem plausible in the least. i wanna be dramatic and say top dies in a tragic fire accident that mirrors his childhood incident and mew gets his hotel business (this is real and i didnt dream this up right? i have a tendency to do that lmao) and he rescues a kitten and calls it mew and they live happily ever after or the kitten scratches him to death, eitherways i cant see them happier together than they were here in this silent disco scene, which could be surface level for all we've seen so thats them

cheum & april

these two are gonna show up together towards the middle of all the drama yell at all of them for being such dudes, dole out choice advice, leave until mess gets sorted and will bring everyone together for one last time during their wedding before they move away to another country, far away from the messy gays and their mess and then they'll write a story based on the messy gays and then sell the rights to a famous director duo and then they sit back and watch the money rolling in, happy, in love, and unbothered💅✨