#but at a certain point he had to decide - the seelie queen made him decide - what he had to fight for most

[ralfstrashcan]

Malec in late 2B

It's been *checks watch* three years and I've finally calmed down enough to try and untangle my feelings about the end of 2B in a coherent way.

1) Alec's decision not to tell Magnus about the Soul Sword. I've worked through my thoughts regarding that in this fic already where I go into Alec's reasoning for it. The tldr of which is that a) Alec consciously made the decision not to tell Magnus instead of running out of time to decide, b) he actually had good reasons for that and made that decision with Magnus's and the Downworld's best interests at heart and c) ultimately his love for Magnus was the very reason he didn't tell him because if he had cared about sparing Magnus's feelings a little less he would have told Magnus about the Soul Sword on condition that Magnus can't tell his people, damn the guilt Magnus will feel when warlocks die because they weren't forewarned.

2) Magnus's reaction to finding out. Magnus flips his shit, basically, lashes out, is deliberately hurtful and doesn't really listen to Alec's reasons for his decision. This is both an understandable and an ic reaction because Magnus is a very emotion-driven character and what he just learned is drastic. Could there have been a more graceful way to handle this revelation? Certainly. But it's nothing I would just expect from any given character. You'd have to be exceptionally level-headed to keep your cool in such a situation and I don't fault Magnus for not being that. His reaction was very human.

Alec gets points deduction for his line “Let's not make this personal” because dude, do you know your boyfriend at all? Have you realized that emotional compartmentalization isn't his strong forte? This line just angers Magnus more. (Alec also gets points deduction, with extreme prejudice, for trying to shush Magnus because what is wrong with you, man. I mean, this might just be a personal hang-up of mine but isn't that gesture patronizing as hell? Anyway.) On the other hand Alec gets some points for not going after Magnus. When I first watched that I thought it was very strange and kinda weird but in hindsight it is obviously the right choice. Magnus needed time and space to deal and Alec realized that trying to go after him and talk it out then was pointless and would have only angered Magnus more.

3) Magnus's reaction to Alec seeking him out because of Max. Admirable. Magnus puts all his (very understandable) anger aside to rush to the Lighwood family's aid. It doesn't matter that he can't help in the end, he is there as emotional support despite the frosty atmosphere between him and Alec. It is the decent thing to do but not everybody would have shown such kindness in his shoes. 10/10.

4) Magnus contemplating if he should take the Seelie Queen's offer aka sappy Malec flashbacks. I'm gonna place half the blame on show writers and half the blame on Magnus himself because, bro, this is not how you make a strategical decision for your people. Not even once is Magnus shown contemplating the repercussions of his decision for the warlocks or Valentine or the future of the Downworld. He only mopes about his boyfriend betraying his trust, basically. And I mean! I understand he's hurting a lot! And I understand people can't just turn off their emotions! But a good leader should be able to put his own emotions aside at least for a short time when an integral decision about his people has to be made, and quickly! And in that regard Magnus, uh, fails, apparently.

Again, I think half the blame lies with the show writers who wanted cute Malec flashbacks and generally fail at portraying inner Downworlder affairs if they don't serve the shadowhunter-centric plot. But I can't just yell “ooc behavior!!” and shrug it off because this isn't exactly ooc behavior for Magnus. Magnus is a very emotion-driven character who fails at separating personal and political matters. That's a theme. I point no further than the whole Camille-thing where he turned a blind eye to her bleeder dens because he felt personally indebted to her, and only stopped her when Raphael's life was at stake. So yeah... 0/10.

Full disclosure, I think there is a different way to read these scenes. Maybe Magnus wasn't just nursing his broken heart and missing the point. Maybe what he was actually contemplating was what he'd been fighting about with Luke before, namely if Alec can even be trusted as a person or if he's too much a shadowhunter to ever deserve their faith and cooperation because he will always treat Downworlders as lesser, because he's as racist as the Clave. In that case it would make sense for him to remember their private 1:1 interactions, to reassess Alec's character as a whole. But it would also mean that the conclusion he reached is that Alec is as corrupt as the rest of the Clave, and that would make them getting back together without ever talking about this... even more messed up than it already is! But I'm getting ahead of myself. Anyway, needless to say that I don't interpret it this way.

5) Magnus breaking up with Alec. To me personally (and to Alec) the breakup makes no sense. Magnus and Alec have different stances on, like, the implications of their relationship (and I'm emotionally wired like Alec is, at least in that regard). What I mean is this: Why does Magnus feel the need to break up with Alec? He's not an idiot, he knows that just because he breaks up with Alec his feelings for Alec will not miraculously evaporate as well. He'll be as emotionally compromised as he was before. And yet he says, “The only thing holding me back from [making difficult decisions to ensure the survival of my people] is you.”

Here's the thing. When Alec decides not to tell Magnus about the Soul Sword he does so in his capacity as the Head of the Institute, taking (almost) no account of his role as Magnus's lover. He is able to do that because he can compartmentalize between these two roles in an extreme way and therefor his relationship status has no influence on his decision. (Sure, not being with Magnus wouldn't have provided extra incentive to tell him, but work with me here. What I mean is that if Alec had rationally decided to tell Magnus about the Soul Sword, he would have made that same decision whether he was with Magnus at that point or not.) What did influence his decision making process were his feelings for Magnus, and these remain unchanged regardless of their relationship status.

Magnus has an entirely different stance. To him being in a relationship implies a certain kind of loyalty that must be maintained at all times. If their roles had been reversed I don't doubt that Magnus would have told Alec about the Soul Sword immediately because of said loyalty, and he would have thought it through for exactly zero seconds beforehand. He expected the same thing from Alec and that's why he feels so betrayed when he realizes that Alec kept it from him. This is why Magnus feels the need to break up with Alec: to disengage from this loyalty that keeps him from making decisions with only the warlocks in mind. Magnus's decision making hinges on their relationship status and the loyalty it demands, not his feelings for Alec.

Alec doesn't understand this. That's why he tells Magnus that he can have both: Alec, and the freedom to make the best choices for the warlocks, to act like the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Alec wouldn't hold it against him if he made the best decisions for his people while they are together because Alec, too, did have Magnus and made decisions as the Head of the Institute. But Magnus works differently. He'd feel like he's betraying Alec if he makes High Warlock of Brooklyn decisions while still being with Alec. And that's why he breaks up with Alec, and that's why it makes sense for Magnus to break up with him.

6) Magnus's behavior afterwards. Oh my god where do I even start.

--- Magnus being a petty bitch? Hell yeah.

--- Magnus hiding behind the Seelie Queen and running after her like he's her lap dog? Hell no. Wtf did I just watch!! Even better, he leaves Raphael behind? And Raphael then tells Izzy that Magnus was his ride and he's effectively trapped at the Institute because the sun is shining brightly outside?? I'm sorry, what. The Downworld just divorced the shadowhunters with a side of “hmm maybe we'll stop caring about the Accords as well in the near future” and Magnus leaves his Raphael behind? This is unacceptable!! I don't even know what to say to that!!

--- This has surely been discussed before but it needs to be said. Magnus implementing an anti-portal ward around New York that incinerates any angel-blooded creature that tries to pass it and not telling Alec about it. They hear about it from Luke instead and since Jace's reaction is immediately telling the shadowhunter extra next to him to stop shadowhunter movement in and out of the city immediately it is heavily implied that some shadowhunters already died thanks to this ward – since there are apparently troop movements in and out of the city that need to be stopped. (Which was to be expected! Sure, they know Valentine won't leave the city before he's got his hands on what he believes to be the mortal mirror locked away at the Institute, but he could surely be regrouping outside the city. Sending patrols into the near vicinity is the sensible thing to do.) Shadowhunter casualties due to the ward are further implied by Jace then leaning heavily on the desk and half-whispering to himself “No more shadowhunters die today.” Which makes sense. The patrols in question would have just vanished with no chance to report back what happened to them so they were probably assumed dead by Valentine's hand.

The point: Wtf Magnus. He must have been aware this could and would happen. The way I see it there are only two possible explanations: Magnus deliberately did not tell the NY Institute shadowhunters a) because he thought word might get around to Valentine or b) out of pettiness. And considering that knowing about the ward doesn't magically un-trap you and only means you will not cross it and therefore remain alive but contained, a) doesn't really make sense. The ward wasn't designed to lure Valentine to his death. It was designed to keep Valentine in the city so the other Downworld factions could hunt him down, and the ward will continue to do so even after Valentine learns of its existence. There s no harm in him knowing about it while there is a lot of harm in the NY shadowhunters not knowing about it because they will just die, for nothing, while trying to find Valentine. Magnus willingly risking that on the off-chance that Valentine walks into the ward at random is not his style at all. This leaves pettiness as motivation and sure, Magnus is petty, but not at the cost of so many casualties. This is so painfully ooc that I just can't!!

7) Their “reconciliation.” As you might have already guessed from those quotation marks: Thanks, I hate it. That adequately sums up my feelings on the matter. Don't get me wrong, the scene itself is lovely, I guess. But, content! They have this huge issue and they just don't talk about it! Magnus never learns of Alec's (legit) reasons for not telling him about the Soul Sword. Alec apologizes for.. what exactly? Doing something he was convinced was the right thing? And they never realize their differences in decision making which is even worse! This whole drama stemmed from the fact that they view the obligations that come with being in a relationship differently where their responsibilities as leaders are concerned. This is bound to become a problem again in the future!! And they just! dont! talk about it! aaaahhhhhhhh!!!! how!!!!!! are you adults or what!!!!!!! *sigh* just... –ꝏ /10

8) Aftermath. Oh right, this will of course not become a problem again in the future because Magnus loses his job. How neat.

Leaving the salt aside though I have to admit that I.. actually think the warlocks weren't entirely in the wrong in sacking Magnus. And before you kill me, hear me out. The first thing to note is that neither Raphael nor Luke get sacked for their decision to side with the Seelie Queen. Why is that? Because vampires and werewolves are fundamentally differently organized than warlocks. Warlocks have an international infrastructure. There's the Council, the Spiral Labyrinth, and stuff. Vampires and werewolves have their local clans and packs, and nothing more. Magnus has superiors. Raphael and Luke do not. After the Seelie Queen makes that deal with Valentine she condemns every Downworlder, except those located in New York, to death. Raziel's wish will kill every Downworlder on earth and only those in the Seelie Realm are safe. And as Magnus says in early 2x19

If Valentine had succeeded then literally all the other warlocks in the world would have died! Yes, the fact that the Seelie Queen threw them all under the bus isn't Magnus's fault, but

it was to be expected. Luke and Raphael both warn Magnus not to trust the Seelie Queen, that she has her own agenda and it's to rule over the Downworld, and that's why both Luke and Raphael were hesitant to accept her deal.

So I think it's pretty understandable why the other warlocks kicked Magnus out on his ass. In their eyes he would have been semi-complicit in their collective demise if Valentine had succeeded, having sided with the one who betrayed the Downworld. It doesn't matter that Magnus's choice means the warlocks at least wouldn't have gone entirely extinct if Valentine had won. It doesn't matter that the Seelie Queen would have made that deal with Valentine whether the other Downworlder factions had sided with her or not. (She had Simon in her Realm who could create new vampires, she probably would have kept Maia for new werewolves, and warlocks can be made by uuhh unethical means. What better Downworld than one that's never known anything but the Seelie Queen's uncontested reign? Yes, she absolutely would have let them all die.) None of that matters to the warlocks. They feel like Magnus betrayed them as a community and that's why they sack him.

Okay, so now we know why it made (in-universe) sense for the warlocks to fire Magnus. Make no mistake though – I don't approve of this reasoning. It's short-sighted and not very practical, and also unfair. Better save some of your species than none, right? Fine, Magnus should have informed the Council and stuff about what was going on so they could make their own deals with the Seelie Queen if they want to.. but then, do we even know if he did or didn't inform them? No. Any further discussion on this point is just poking in the dark so let's move on.

I did say that I think the warlocks weren't entirely in the wrong in dismissing Magnus from his job, though. Let me explain.

a) Magnus's decision to side with the Seelie Queen or remain sided with the Institute would have not made a difference regarding the whole Valentine-thing, right? Things would have played out exactly the same: Warlocks create anti-portal ward, Val makes a deal with the Seelie Queen and gets to Alicante anyway. The survival of the Downworld depended on Clary stabbing Valentine to death before he made the wish, and that remains unchanged no matter Magnus's decision. What Magnus's decision would have influenced (if this goddamn show knew what continuity is, lol) is what came after. Where does siding with the trigger-happy Seelie Queen, who made no secret of gunning for war with the Clave, leave the warlocks? On the Clave's bad side, that's for sure. Especially if things had escalated between the seelies and the shadowhunters (which they do in the books!!). In the show.. things just go back to how they were before the Downworld's little fail-rebellion. Either because the Downworld and the Clave mutually decide to just pretend none of it ever happened (since the Consul was exposed as a Circle Member, which, awkward) or, which I believe is more likely, because 3A focuses on The Owl Mystery and not on foreign policy and this show just sucks when it comes to including anything not strictly-plot-relevant. In any case!! Magnus's decision to side with the Seelie Queen should have had severe repercussions for the warlocks and their standing with the Clave aka dramatically worsened it, and for nothing (since nothing came of the “rebellion” and it's honestly doubtful how many warlocks would have wanted a full-on war with the shadowhunters anyway. They seem pretty good at laying low and doing their own thing). So in the long term siding with the Seelie Queen wasn't / wouldn't have been a strategically good decision (if it wasn’t followed up by a war of independence, which it wasn’t) and a legit reason to get fired.

b) More importantly, in 3x09 Lorenzo says to Magnus, “I took this position because you couldn't handle it. You let your heart dictate your actions and that will be your downfall,” which I always took to mean – since Lorenzo was god knows where when all of 2B happened – that the gossip in the warlock community is strong, and has it that Magnus only sided with the Seelie Queen as revenge for Alec not telling him about the Soul Sword / something relating to their breakup. No matter how this opinion formed in the community... *glances at 4)* they're not wrong? And this is definitely a legit reason to get fired.

So where does this leave us? I don't approve of the Council firing Magnus for the reason they did because it was a dumb reason. When I look at Lorenzo – lazy, self-centered, unwilling to actually do anything when push comes to shove – I don't think Magnus should be fired because he's obviously the much better choice as High Warlock. And I don't even think that siding with the Seelie Queen was, per se, a wrong choice. But the way Magnus made that choice left much to be desired and was a clear lapse in leadership, one where a dismissal would have been justified. And this should have been addressed in a constructive way so he can learn from his mistake.

[stereksecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, goddess47!

For @goddess47 <3

*****

Stiles would like to say, very clearly, that it really wasn’t his fault this time. He had just been running through the preserve, minding his own business, when suddenly he was passing through a mirage spell into a very tense negotiation between some hunters and the Seelie court. To say he was surprised was an understatement. To say he was prepared for the unexpected would be true, but this was even more unexpected than he was used to. And he had been thrust into the supernatural world at sixteen with a bat and a prayer. Regardless, he hadn’t meant to become a mediator to a truce negotiation. He especially hadn’t meant to look over the contract, find a few problems on both sides, re-negotiate the contract for the better of both groups, identify a rouge hunter, and save the Seelie queen all before dinner. The fact that the negotiations closed with the fairy queen promising him that his thank you gift would only begin to pay him the debt he was owed, convinced Stiles of two things. The first was that the supernatural were entirely too dramatic, the second was that Derek was never going to let him run by himself again.

Stiles figured that some mild avoidance, and extensive procrastination, could perhaps keep the inevitable lecture to a minimum, if the whole thing was revealed in a calm manner and the thank you gift promised was reasonable, small and easily hidden. This whole plan went immediately out the window the second Stiles emerged from his shower to find a very shiny, very new, very small child sitting on the couch of his apartment. Stiles was pretty sure that the Seelie queen had gotten him a very real little girl as a thank you gift. She was definitely not small, easily hidden nor reasonable.

Stiles also wasn’t sure how the Seelie queen had gotten past his wards, but he hoped that no one had poked around while he was in the shower, there were some very dangerous magical objects in the office space that Stiles did not want to have to track down again. Nonetheless, the appearance of a child meant that Stiles needed backup, and he was pretty sure he shouldn’t leave the child alone in the apartment. So, keeping one keen eye on the kid, who simply waved at him, Stiles pulled his phone out and called Derek.

As phone conversations go, this one was relatively short. It started with Stiles saying hello, claiming that absolutely everything was fine, but that a stranger was sitting in his apartment and suddenly Stiles was hearing a knock on his door. The benefits of your pack alpha owning the building and living directly below you was exceedingly convenient. It does sometimes, however, lead to these types of overreactions. Stiles was pretty sure the child wasn’t a danger to him, or Derek.

Derek immediately placed himself between the child and Stiles, which only caused Stiles to roll his eyes. Magically appearing or not, the girl couldn’t have been older than three and was currently sucking her thumb. In response to Derek flashing his eyes, she grinned and flashed her own, so Stiles at least had that narrowed down. At least the local wolf pack was the appropriate channels for a randomly appearing werewolf child. Though now that he thought about it, he probably should call his Dad, in case there was a missing child report. In all of his musings, Stiles had apparently missed Derek introducing himself because Derek was now picking up a small child and having her nuzzle into his chest. Stiles thinks he heard her murmur “Alpha” in a near sub-vocal purr and Stiles was pretty sure that Derek had just adopted a small child literally in front of his eyes.

And, quite frankly, he didn’t have enough sleep for this.

By the time the Sheriff had arrived, without any news of any missing children, Stiles was making a child friendly lunch while Derek entertained, and interrogated, the magic child. So far, they had gotten that her name was Rieka, she was three and she didn’t know where she was from. It hadn’t been a very successful interrogation. The rest of the pack was coming over soon and they would figure out where she came from, reunite her to some very worried parents and all would be well. Stiles was sure of it. He appreciated that the Seelie queen wanted to thank him, but he wasn’t entirely sure that stealing a child was a good present. He really hoped that he didn’t get arrested for kidnapping.

It had been three days and they hadn’t found anything else about Rieka. She spoke, but slowly and only with a lot of coaxing. Deaton was no help, which wasn’t very unusual, and Stiles’ own contacts were no help, which was, actually, very unusual. No one had ever dealt with the Seelie queen before, she was notoriously difficult to find, and no one had heard of a little werewolf cub going missing. Derek, had, in fact, lectured him for getting involved with the Seelie court, but his stern lecture was significantly less intimidating as he was being used as a climbing tree by a very energetic little girl.

By the end of the first week, Stiles knew he was in trouble. He and Derek had fallen into a pretty quick co-parenting routine. With Stiles’ consulting business and Derek’s real estate business, they were both very capable of working from home, and had become quite domestic co-parents. Derek’s guest room was converted into a little girls room, that even in a few short days had become littered with stuffed animals and glitter in ways that Stiles was never going to be able to un-see. Stiles was starting to get worried about what they were going to do if they never found her parents, because co-parenting a little girl with your crush of seven years was not easy. Especially because Derek was so good with her. So unbelievably, entirely understandably, patient with her. Her reticent speech spoke to Derek’s soul and Stiles found himself watching the pair with fondness more often than not. Which may or may not have required him to restart at least one potion.

He found himself falling more and more in love with the Derek who was willing to play dress up and roll around on the carpet with a little girl. It was another facet of himself that Derek was always trying to hide, worried that any vulnerability would be turned against him, any weak spot exploited for someone else’s gain. Even years of therapy hadn’t quite gotten Derek to let that fear go. But here, in this little apartment with Rieka demanding that he play the pretty princess so that she can be the dragon, Stiles got a snippet of what his life could be like, what their life could be like, and it hurt. Because he knew, deep down, that he wasn’t ever going to get to keep this. And yet even as he thought that Derek met his eyes across the room. Plastic crown barely clinging to his hair, little girl climbing to his shoulders and Stiles decided to let himself pretend, even for a moment. He could mope when Rieka was gone, but for now he would enjoy this window into a life he never knew he so desperately wanted.

Three weeks in Stiles started talking to his dad about fostering and adoption papers. He worried about how a long-term co-parenting situation would worsen his crush, but also figured that he was in full blown “I will always love you” mode anyway.

Stiles and Derek talked about turning their two apartments into a single apartment after two months. They argued about where the bedrooms would be, with Stiles desperate to maintain a lockable room for his magical supplies. But even with converting Stiles’ living room into a bedroom, three bedrooms and a magic room simple wouldn’t fit on the second floor. The fight escalated to the point in which they decided that an architect would have to make the final call.

Three months in everything came crashing down for Stiles. He felt like he was watching a train crash in slow motion, all the careful pieces of his future with Derek falling around him. An old contact had found a way to contact the Seelie queen, and Stiles felt the horror flash across his face, felt himself close off and watched Derek mirror him, even as he didn’t know why. Somewhere, far in the recess of his mind, Stiles knew that returning Rieka was the right thing to do, but at that moment he was gutted. He had really let himself believe that he could keep this little girl, keep his little make-believe family together.

The Seelie queen came quickly. Very quickly, in fact. No sooner had Stiles burned his note then she was standing there in the middle of his apartment. Derek was clinging to Rieka as if she would disappear, and Stiles’ heart broke a little more. Because the queen could do that, she could take their little girl away from them.

By the end of the conversation Stiles was exhausted, the Seelie queen saw past, present and future simultaneously which made having a conversation very difficult. Add in assumptions made on both sides, and the whole thing was a mess. On the bright side, apparently, they will become very good friends? Stiles wasn’t entirely sure exactly what had happened, but he did know this. The conversation started with a few stuttering sentences from Stiles that led the Seelie queen to think Stiles wanted to return his gift. She was very offended and offered to change the gift. She was entirely sure she had explained everything upfront, Stiles was very sure she had not. It took questions from both Derek and Stiles to understand exactly what happened, but eventually it all came out. She saw what Stiles wanted most and did her best to give it to him. She had simply spliced together parts of Stiles and Derek and created the life in a whimsical form, certain the rest would follow. Despite the nonchalance of the delivery, the complex magic was not at all insignificant. Stiles reassured her several times that they adored the gift and had simply been worried that they couldn’t keep her. Which led them down a whole path of conversation about fairies’ gifts, the Seelie vs Unseelie court and quite frankly Stiles wasn’t even sure what was happening. Two batches of cookies later some guards came to fetch their queen and suddenly everyone was gone. Stiles had a passing thought that his wards were obviously not strong enough before the reality of the situation sunk in.

Stiles was pretty sure that this story should have a twist someplace, some changeling magic, some fairy trick, but, overall, he thinks about how lucky he is. Rieka was theirs. Made of magic and wishes into a real life person, just for them, for as long as they wanted. Derek seemed to have come to the same conclusion at the same time, if the sigh of relief that swung through their apartment was anything to go by. And even though it was only seven o’clock, they both bundled Rieka to bed, overrode her protests with a bedtime story and collapsed on the couch.

Stiles was exhausted. He couldn’t deal with anymore revelations for the day. And as he turned to tell Derek this, to tell Derek that he wasn’t expecting anything from him. That his love was unconditional, and they could keep co-parenting without having to acknowledge how much Stiles loved him. Loved him so much it became true flesh and blood sleeping a few feet away. But as he opened his mouth, ready to spill the lies, he found soft hands framing his face. Stiles is pretty sure he stopped breathing. He had to have died, there was no way that Derek was doing exactly what it seemed like he was doing. And yet, lips found his, and Stiles decided he could, actually, deal with one more revelation, as long as Derek kept doing that. And when he decided to tell Derek this, there was a soft smile and another kiss. And then another one. And one more, just for good luck.

[madzieloss]

That last gifset with the quote from Ragnor was so well done, I have so many thoughts and feelings about that, and just ARGH, thank you for making it!!

omg thank you!! i saw your tags and can i just say... yes?? to like everything because i also have a lot of thoughts and feelings about this. especially that line in conjunction with the scene from 2x18 (which is why i had to make the gifset ajklfdsgfh)

i’m so glad you appreciate it because honestly there’s just... So Much

[sh-rare-pair-exchange]

All’s Fair in Love and War, Except for You

For @bytheangell 

Read it on ao3: HERE

The first thing Jace notices when he wakes up is the perfect stillness of the world, the early dawn shines in through the soft cotton fabrics of the tent, adding warmth to the calming air. A pair of strong tan arms surrounded his waist and he felt a slight stubble tickle the back of his ear. Morning’s were always better with Mel, they provided a safe reminder that the nightmares weren’t real, that he didn’t have to be a brave soldier for the kingdom, he could just be himself. `

It made Jace appreciate these small moments even more, his dark hair had gotten even more untamed during his sleep, his brows lost their usual squint, opening up his face and relaxing his eyes. His long lashes now rested softly on his face, pointing Jace to his slightly parted lips. Brushing a navy strand away, Jace leaned in and planted a soft kiss on his love’s face. He was pleasantly surprised to hear a soft sigh escape his Mel’s lips, as he slowly started to return the kiss.

“Someone’s up early, especially since they don’t have any duties until noon,” Meliorn drawled.

Jace gave a small shrug,”I thought I would enjoy the view,”

Meliorn gave him a small smile, “Well the view might have problems with being watched so early,” he replied.

‘Or he might be flattered?,’

He let out a small chuckle, “It’s a possibility.’

Jace smiled fondly back at him, it was nice to have this again. They only ever met when Meliorn’s queen came to visit every few months for meetings with King Robert, and even then they both had duties to attend to. Jace let out a small groan and buried his face into Meliorn’s neck, causing the other to laugh as he wrapped his arms around his middle. Meliorn placed small kisses on his head. Part of him just wanted to just stay in bed all day, even if it was impossible for several reasons. Jace slowly felt Meliorn’s body tense as he remembered the lives they had outside the tent. “You should get going soon,” he stated, “It will be more difficult to sneak back as more people are awake.”

Jace pouted, a small groan of annoyance leaving his mouth before begrudgingly letting go. Jace sat up first, walking over to a small chest that contained his clothes, a simple black tunic with an armored breastplate and pauldron. Meliron watched with a sad smile before putting on his own uniform. A black shirt with a crimson jacket and pants, a gold leaf on his shoulder helped depict his rank as captain of her queen’s guard. As the two dressed they started to build up their walls, their faces becoming less open and their posture shifted into a soldier's stance.

The two had agreed that it was best to remain as professional as possible, the Seelie Queen wasn’t known for her kindness and members of her court were forbidden from engaging with people from other kingdoms, especially high ranking members of Idris, a kingdom with rocky relations with her majesty. Still, Jace moved so that he was standing in front of Meliorn, softly connecting their lips in a soft kiss before breaking away. A small smile spread across Meliron’s face as he took in the sight of his lover, his perpetually messy hair glowed in the sunlight, making his face even brighter than before. He rejoined their lips in another sweet kiss, his arms falling around Jace's waist to bring him the slightest bit closer, deepening the kiss. Meliron soon broke this kiss, looking up at his love’s mismatched eyes and soft stubble from where he had neglected to shave.

“If you don’t stop now you’ll never leave this tent,”

He chuckled “If that’s your way of telling me to leave, you might want to try a different strategy.”

“You leaving is never my intention, your safety on the other hand is, ‘ His hand joined Jace’s as he continued, ‘You know my queen’s laws are absolute, and I do not wish for you to fall into harm's way because of my queen, or yours.”

Jace nods in understanding, he slowly lets his hands fall to his side and backs away. He slowly walks towards the back entrance of the tent, telling himself this isn’t goodbye he walks out without a glance back, starting the long trek to the castle of Alicante.  

It's a quiet walk back, the kind of dull quiet that created a calming but boring atmosphere that Jace never truly liked, as the absence of noise left him alone with his thoughts. He hated being alone ever since his father died, he had been his only world until he died while on a job, then he had no one to hold and nowhere to go. That was, until the royal family took him in a few months later, Robert felt guilty over his father’s death and offered him a place at the palace as an apology. Mayrse had given him his own room next to her children, who accepted him as a friend and brother, and allowed him to live and train with them for years. Now he worked everyday to repay them for that.  

Then why are you betraying them by loving someone you might go to war with

Jace froze, No, he thought, that won’t happen, they’re signing the peace treaty in a few days, sure their relationship with the other kingdoms had been stressed but that was going too far. It would never come to that.

Are you positive?

Shaking away his doubt he continued onward until he reached the barrier that surrounded the castle, he took a deep breath, and slowly stepped inside, back to home he grew up in. He was greeted by the glass tall towers  ascending into the heavens. The smooth pale stones flashing him a welcoming smile, the cedar trees giving him a small wave of their branches in the breeze.

Jace allowed himself to relax a bit as he made his way across the lawn, he was safe here, no one was going to hurt him and nothing bad was going to happen here, he was safe.

Well mostly, he smirked as a flash of red caught his eye, Clary always tried to catch him by surprise after his ‘morning walks’, as he called them. Clary seemed to be repeating an old favorite this time, jumping out of a tree and tackling him when he least expected it, only it had failed to work so far and would continue to do so for the foreseeable future. He slowly counted down in his head before a familiar battle cry broke out form above.

“AAAHHHHHH”

He merely stepped aside just before she made contact with him, causing her to crash harshly into the ground with a load oof. Cracking a smile, he extended an arm to help the small thing up, Clary was a sweet knight, new to the ranking but had quickly proven herself a quick thinker and a fierce fighter, earning her quite the respect from her fellow knights.

“You got lucky that time”

“Oh yes, because your battle cry didn’t give you away at all, or are you still scared of falling”

She rolled her eyes affectionaley, “One day I’ll push you off a building and see if your still high and mighty about heights, until then we need to get going,”

Clary’s respect came with the position of personal guard to Princesses Isabelle, similar to how Jace was incharge of watching over Alec at home and during battle. While Izzy respected her parents' wishes, she wasn’t completely on board with the idea of another teammate, this disappeared as soon as she was introduced to Clary, with the two bonding quite quickly. Soon Clary became a fixture at Izzy’s side, it wasn’t uncommon for the two to sit next to each other during meals or hold hands while walking in the garden. Jace was fairly certain they were much closer than others realized but decided to keep it to himself, they’ll tell him when they're ready.

Several minutes of banter and a few hundred stairs later, Jace stood outside Alec’s door. He put his ear next to the door, listening to Alec’s snoring. Jace knocks a rhythm on Alec’s door, he waits for a bit. Hearing nothing he decides it’s time to move on to phase two. He knows that he doesn’t have the energy for this, but Alec will know something’s wrong if he doesn’t, and talking about his problems has never been his style. Grin and bear it it is then. Taking a deep breath he grabs the door knob and bursts open the door with a bang.

“Rise and shine sleeping archer, your knight in shining armor is here!”

Alec let out a pained groan, throwing a pillow at Jace’s head, which he easily dodged.

“Now, where’s the enthusiasm your crankiness? Up late last night reading some dumb poem?”

Alec’s icey eyes give him a pointed glare.

“It’s too early for this, send breakfast up, I'll eat later,” he moans, burying himself under the dark comforter.

Jace rolls his eyes, if he can’t sleep in neither can Alec, phase three it is then.

Jace jumps on the bed with a battle cry, elbowing Alec in the side. Alec yelped in pain, trying to push Jace off of him to no avail. “Get off!”

“On you? Not a chance.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Alec accented with a slap.

Jace let out a small laugh, causing Alec to become even more annoyed,

With an exhausted sigh, he conceded, “All right, If you move I’ll get up!

“That’s all I ask,” Jace replies, untanageling himself from Alec and begins walking out the door, “I’ll be outside while you get dressed, we’re meeting Izzy for breakfast in the pavilion in ten.”

Twenty minutes later the two made their way across the grounds two the grand white pavilion, usually Robert, Mayrse, and Max would join them for lunch while Jace and Clary would eat with the other knights. However, Max was away at boarding school and Robert and Mayrse were busy with preparations for the ceremony coming up, at least that was the story. In reality Mayrse and Robert had a strained relationship for a while, rarely spending time together outside of meetings and events.

“Took you long enough, Alec giving you trouble this morning?” Izzy inquired.

She was dressed in a blue grey gown fell gracefully around her, with small gems adorning the tips of her long sleeves and the lining of her gown. A tiara rested peacefully on her head. Clary in contrast, Clary was covered, with her face and hair being the only things on display, the rest of her body was covered in an intricate suit of armor, runes carved into the wristbands and chest to help increase her strength, agility, and speed.

“When is he not”, Jace responded.

Alec gave him a roll of his eyes before sitting down on Izzy’s left, taking some scones from the centerpiece and digging in.

Jace took the seat to his left, with Clary now sitting on Jace’s left, completing the circle.

The group continued to eat, making small talk here and there while also debating who was coming from what Kingdom,

“Simon is representing the Night Kingdom this year, since he can walk out in daylight,” said Clary

“No way,” said Alec, “He’s too inexperienced to be making these kinds of decisions, plus we’ve managed just fine with Rapheal.”

“Well at least Lorenzo’s not showing up this year, although I think Underhill might be a bit disappointed about that”

“Are they still a thing? What do they even do together, talk about Opera?” asked Jace sarcastically.

“Leave them alone,” said Izzy, “It's cute that they’ve made their relationship work long distance, besides Underhill seems really happy.”

Jace and Alec exchanged a look, a silent understanding that Izzy was just being a sap. Jace reached for his drink and took a sip.

“I heard that the Queen will becoming to the meeting instead of Meliorn,”

Jace struggled to keep himself from choking.

“What?” He asked, glancing at Clary.

“The Sealie Queen, I checked the guest list and saw her name instead of Meliron, the ambassador.”

That can’t be right, Meliorn is at the Sealie campsite not far from the castle grounds. Why would he be here if he wasn’t  going to show up to the meeting, come to think of it, didn’t Meliron mention that other fae were here too. Why is everyone showing up? What’s going on?

Jace tuned out the rest of the conversation, turning his focus to his own thoughts.

“Hey, are you okay?” Alec asked, putting a hand on Jace’s shoulder.

Jace looked up to see that everyone was looking at him with varying degrees of concern.

Shit, I spaced out too long.

“Uh, yeah I’m just thinking about the peace ceremony coming up.”

“You sure?”

He nodded, “Positive, don’t worry about it okay.”

Alec raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything outside of that,there was an awkward silence for a few moments, no one quite knowing how to fill the conversation.

“How about we go on a quick walk in the garden or maybe we can train?” suggested Izzy

Alec  gave a small shrug, “I was actually thinking of taking the horses out for a bit, we could do that?”

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll get the kitchen staff to clean this up and I’ll meet you at the stables”  

“You sure you don’t want to go with us? We can just ask someone at the stables to tell the kitchen staff -”

“I’ll be fine,” Jace interjected,” Besides, I’d rather not leave the food out for too long you know?”

Before they could say anything else he pushed his chair back and all but ran towards the castle. As soon as he was out of sight he sent Meliorn a small message to meet him at the halfway point between the castle and the sealie camp. He knew he was overreacting but he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.

[emms-jules]

The Beautiful Lady Without Pity

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26894881

He remembered Orpheus, who made a deal with Hades to get Eurydice back, as long as he doesn’t look back until he is in the mortal world. Orpheus, who grew impatient and turned to look back at Eurydice, sending her back to the Underworld. He never understood the man’s impatience until now.

(A retelling of the story of Andrew Blackthorn and Lady Nerissa in Julian Blackthorn and Emma Carstairs.)

Note: Hi! The comparison between Andrew & Nerissa's love story to Blackstairs has been on my mind for a while now, so I decided to put it into words. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! 

He met her when he was seventeen. A soldier, born to defend the world from the wrath of demons and other creatures rogue. He, along with his fellow Academy students and a teacher, were tasked to go and retrieve a Nephilim child taken into the lands of the fey.

The Fair Folk were a mysterious race, which was why the Clave despised anything that had to do with them and their place. These creatures are part angel and demon, hence their heavenly looks and mischievous schemes. The lands were rich with mountains, seas, plants and animals —a literal fairytale, if there was one. However, don’t be fooled by their beauty, for according to the Clave, “They will paint a beautiful picture of what awaits you there, but its beauty is false and hollow.” Find yourself drawn, and your demise is guaranteed, though its time is not. 

The Courts, Seelie and Unseelie, were places out of time. Upon entering the land of the Fey, a day in would mean thirty days for the real world, or thirty months, or thirty years, or thirty lifetimes. One will never know, until he escapes Faerie, which is impossible, and realizes what he’s lost.

For years, this has been the image of the Fair Folk to those not of its realm. Now, entering the throne room of the Seelie Court, Julian Blackthorn repeated the same beliefs on his head. The path toward the room was covered in resin, preserving numerous flowers and butterflies in its walls. The double doors were a set of intricately woven vines overlapping each other. The Seelie guards threw them open, ushering the Shadowhunters in. Sitting on the throne was the Seelie Queen in all her glory. Julian averted his eyes to the Queen’s right, and his breath was taken away. All thoughts on his mind went blank.

Standing beside the Queen was a Faerie gentry, he knew that much. She stands and exudes power the way a gentry does. Brown eyes met Julian’s blue-green ones. Such beautiful eyes, he thought. The fairy woman was clothed in silver flowers, the petals hugging her figure and trailing from her chest to her hips, flowing from there to a long trail. Such a beautiful dress, he thought. But what got his attention was her hair, a mass of golden locks that ended up to her waist.  He itched to touch it. Such beautiful hair, he thought. 

He remembered Orpheus, who made a deal with Hades to get Eurydice back, as long as he doesn’t look back until he is in the mortal world. Orpheus, who grew impatient and turned to look back at Eurydice, sending her back to the Underworld. He never understood the man’s impatience until now. 

He heard the Queen talking, but it was incoherent in his ears, as he strides towards the same brown eyes that were regarding him with confusion and astonishment.

Julian Blackthorn kneels and bows his head. “I pledge myself to you, oh fair lady.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He learns her name easily after, when the Fair Folk and his fellow Shadowhunters in the room were in a frenzy. His classmates asked what he was doing. Was he poisoned? Was he tricked? Was he threatened? The Fey warriors rushed to block him from the gentry. The Queen was shouting at him. Is this some kind of trick? What is he trying to do to Lady Delia?

Delia, Julian pronounces, trying the name from his tongue. Lady Delia looks at him for a long moment, before telling the guards to stop. Everyone freezes, even the Queen. The warriors warily moved out of the way as Delia sauntered to him. 

He stands up, and sees that he is taller by a few inches, but that doesn’t diminish the thrumming of his heart. He did not know what he was nervous about, of his sudden pledge to the Lady or her possible choice of shunning him. Delia looks at him thoughtfully up and down, before meeting his eyes once again. She seems to be searching for something there, and found it, because what she did next made no sense and made him fall for her more. 

She smiled, not the grin Faeries often do that results in trickery, but a genuine one. Julian feels his heart sigh. 

She turns to his fellow Shadowhunters, before turning to the Queen and bowing her head politely. “I believe that since he pledged himself to me, I shall pledge myself to him as well.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One day, the Shadowhunters said. Julian Blackthorn will only remain in the land under the hill for one day. After that, he shall be brought back to the mundane world, and continue his duty as Nephilim. They did not know what they agreed to, for time works different in Faerie.

On his first day, Julian was introduced to Lady Delia. She learns that she’s a daughter of a water nymph, and indeed a princess of the Seelie Court. Delia showed her powers to him using the element of water. He tried to do it himself several times too. It led to them both soaked by the end of the day. The night ended on their first kiss and his first chance to touch her fair hair. You are not hard to like, Julian Blackthorn, she said with a shy smile. 

In the first week, Delia taught him the culture of the fey, bringing him in revels and parties. He enjoyed these celebrations, and they danced their hearts out every time. During these times, Julian was not left out by the folk, as he usually felt.  It did not matter anyway, for Delia’s company was everything he needed. The week ended with their first night together, her golden hair in tangles. She was at her most beautiful to him that time, so raw and vulnerable. I love you, Delia, I am yours, he whispered in between pants and gasps. 

In the first month, the princess brought him to his first Faerie meeting. The Queen, though reluctant with his presence, did not say anything, as well as the other Faeries. He offered solutions and actions, his Shadowhunter skills exuded. This made him some friends but still more enemies. It did not matter, though, for Delia was proud. He has fully earned her trust. The month ended with Delia whispering amongst her moans, her hair like waterfalls gripped by her lover, I love you, Julian Blackthorn, I love you more than starlight.

In the first year, Julian and Delia left the Court for a while and decided to reside in a cottage by the seas. They enjoyed their endless private hours and taught each other a lot. Delia taught him how to swim, what fruits can be eaten, how to catch pixies, and how to read the stars. Julian taught him of the classics and myths, told her stories of his youth, told her of his brothers and sisters, who he dearly missed. It did not matter though, for he was happy with her. After a few months, Delia thought it was time to share something of herself with him. Her real name. Emma, she said, it means universe. Julian tried it off his lips, brushing it against her hair and ears, Emma, he uttered, my universe. 

In the second year, they got married. It surprised the whole Court, for marriage was a heavy commitment that many do not wish to even dwell on, even more so with a Shadowhunter. Many have asked the princess if she was certain, and Emma did not think twice before saying that she is countless times. I am not deluded, she says with steel in her expression. Despite the feys’ reluctance, the wedding was held, and a celebration took place all over the Seelie Court. Some congratulated them, while others continued throwing Julian looks of hate, for his Nephilim blood and their jealousy of not getting the princess’ favor. He did not care, for it was the happiest day of his life, and no one can ruin that for him. Julian and Emma never got to finish the party, opting to retreat back to their cottage by the sea. They made love countless times, pronouncing words of adoration and love. Emma Blackthorn, my wife, he says, tucking her golden locks behind her pointed ears.

In the third year, they tried to conceive a child, to no avail. It was hard for Faerie women to reproduce, and to carry a child with Shadowhunter blood was harder. This led to a lot of tears and sadness for Emma, but Julian stood by her. He was fine with having no children, for Emma was enough. But they did not give hope, for having a child would be the manifestation of their love for each other. Julian soothed her with comforting words and visions of the future. One day, we would have little ones with my blue-green eyes and your hair like sunlight, he says.

In the fourth year, Emma bore a child. They received the news with cries of happiness, from Emma most of all. She thought she was barren, but thankfully she was not. The gender they were yet to find out, but Julian was already excited to become a father. He started telling her of what he would teach their son or daughter. I would tell him stories of gods and heroes, and teach him how to hold a crossbow, he told his wife in delight. Emma’s smile faltered a bit.

In the next two months, Julian treated Emma the best way a husband can treat his pregnant wife. Human pregnancy is not far from faerie ones, as it seems. There were times when she cannot stand up herself, so he carries her around the cottage or the Court, wherever they are. There were times when she empties out her stomach, and he is there to rub her back and keep her hair away from her face. There were times when they would wait for the child to kick Emma’s still small stomach, and he would exclaim in delight, uttering promises to the kid and kissing his wife’s belly. Once you’re out there, I’ll teach you a proper kick, so that you’ll be able to fight demons soon, he states. Emma swallows the lump in her throat.

In the third month, Emma watches Julian sleep peacefully beside her. He’s laid on his stomach, exposing his bare back and the countless dark and faded runes that cascade his skin. He is a Shadowhunter. She touches his brown locks, causing him to stir but not waking him. She notices the growing small stubble on his jaw, and remembers the other truth she kept neglecting for so long. He is mortal. She looks at her small bump, and feels tears burning her eyes. One day they would leave me, she thought.

On the same day, she asks him if he ever wants to go back to the mundane world. Julian freezes from his cooking, and turns to look at Emma. She was expressionless, and he knows that whatever his answer would be, she will not judge him. He carefully approaches her and holds her hand. I love the life that I have here, with you. Nothing will ever change that, he says. Emma hugs him and cries, but not out of relief. One day they would have to leave me, she thought.

On the same night, they made love again and again and again until they were both exhausted. Emma kept declaring her love, in word and in deed, surprising Julian, making him both happy and confused at the same time. You don’t need to exhaust yourself, my love. We have the rest of our lives for this, he says. Instead of stopping, Emma continued until dawn. I’m in love with you, Julian Blackthorn, were the words repeated over and over again.

Emma did not sleep after that. She couldn’t sleep, and she has no time to do so. With one last kiss to his lips, she entered his mind. She saw the past years on his head, never-ending ending images and memories of her and the life they’ve spent together. Emma couldn’t help but cry. They were all lovely, and she loved him more for what she’s seeing now. And because she loves him so, it explains her next actions. Emma took all of these memories from his mind, and twisted them to false ones. In the new memories she crafted, Julian was held captive by her, and doomed to be hers for eternity against his will. He forgets her real name, forgets that they will have a child, forgets that he loves her. She planted a plan of escape on his mind, which will be successful, because it was orchestrated by her.  With the worst of her sobs over and all good memories of her gone, she wakes him. 

Those blue-green orbs of his that were filled with love hours before met hers with hate. Emma felt her heart break into a thousand pieces, but she wore the mask that Faeries put on. Julian quickly stands and dresses himself, before finding a dagger on the bedside table. He grabs it and viciously points it to Emma, or Lady Delia, in his memories. He shouts and slashes, asking what she had done to him, and she weakly dodges his attacks, before letting him plant the dagger on her throat. I detest your kind, and most of all you, he declares with scorn and pure hatred, before fleeing Emma’s room, escaping.

Emma feels the weight of the dagger on her throat, but bears it no mind. Her heart was in more pain, and she was crying because of it. She slowly takes the dagger out and shakily heals herself. The dagger was intentional, and she knows that he will hurt her with it. I should have let him kill me, instead of bearing this sadness for the rest of my days, she thought as she lays on the floor and weeps. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Clave spread the news of Julian Blackthorn’s captivity and escape in Faerie. The story was that he was bargained to stay in exchange of the Nephilim child taken by the Folk. That the Lady Delia, a princess of the Seelie Court, grew interested and took him for herself. She made her drink enchanted potions that made him think he loves her. Some might say that they had an affair, or he was tortured to please her, or he was her plaything, anything but the truth Emma removed from Julian’s mind. Emma heard the news of what her image was to the Shadow World now. It does not matter, she says to herself, putting her hands over her grown belly. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emma gives birth to their child. It was a girl, with her hair and Julian’s eyes. As she holds the crying baby to her chest, she remembers a sweet and painful memory. One day, we would have little ones with my blue-green eyes and your hair like sunlight. She tears up and kisses her daughter’s forehead. The manifestation of our love, Salacia, she whispers.

Emma gave birth to another child, who she bore just a few months after giving birth to her daughter. This time it was a boy with chocolate hair, and when it opened its eyes, another set of ocean orbs looked back at her. She fell in love once again, the pain still fresh as if it was just yesterday. You’ll be as handsome as your father one day, These, she whispers.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She hears from a source that he is already married, and currently resides in the Los Angeles Institute. She smiles weakly at the thought that he chose a home by the sea. Some memories may be too strong to kill. Despite her better judgement, she decides to see the place herself one day. She hides by the rocks where the waves hit. It was morning, and the Institute was a silent building towering the quiet shore. She hears the front door open and hides herself, her eyes peeking over the rocks. She gasps.

There he was, older and more built, but instead of a rougher exterior, he exudes a softer aura. Emma did not have to think why, because the reason came right out of the door after him. Behind Julian came a woman, a small dark haired one with a kind face. She was holding a baby in her arms. 

Emma feels tears falling from her eyes, though unsure if it was of happiness or sadness. The couple walked by the shore and took turns holding the child. Their child. In those moments, Emma saw what he could have been for their children, if only she let him stay. Emma shook her head. No. Making him stay in the land under the hill would be selfish of me, she thought. However, she could not help but think of how unfair she had been to her children for not being with their father. With one last look, she made another heavy choice and left.  

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Julian heard the bell of the Sanctuary ring. He stops from cooking breakfast and tries to look for his wife, Mia Trueblood, a Shadowhunter born and bred from the Los Angeles Institute. Seeing as she may still be asleep and no one else was around, he turned off the stove and hurried to the Sanctuary. 

Walking inside, he saw no one, only a pair of large baskets by the outside doors. He peeked at both and froze. Inside each was a baby, both with pointed ears and the familiar Blackthorn blue eyes. One was a girl with golden-hair and one was a boy with familiar brown hair. There was no message or anything else with them, but Julian already knew what they were doing here. 

He dashed to the Sanctuary entrance doors and opened them, seeing a blonde figure hurriedly walking towards the sea. He shouts her name, the one he knows of.

She freezes and turns her head. She swallows her emotions. I love you, she wants to say. Take care of them from now on, she utters instead, before being swallowed by the waves. 

Julian stood stunned by the Institute, before going back to the kids. He watches them both for a while, in awe of how they both resemble him and Lady Delia. He felt a surge of love for them both. Despite the hatred on his mind, his heart was telling him to do as she says. Ultimately, Julian takes both children out of the baskets and carries them to his room. Mia was already awake, and was confused by the presence of the babies. My children, he answers. I love you more than starlight, he thought, but the voice in his mind was not his.

[likestvrlight]

template & psd by goodvibesrph

& 𝓎𝑜𝓊'𝓇𝑒 𝒹𝑜𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝑔𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓉 𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓂𝑒, 𝒷𝒶𝒷𝓎, 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝒶 𝒹𝒶𝓂𝓃 𝓈𝑜𝒸𝒾𝑜𝓅𝒶𝓉𝒽

name ; malachi faceclaim ; brianne howey nickname(s) ; mal, chi (kai), mala age ; 2000+ birthday ; august 22 but she’ll never tell you the exact date, and then everyone celebrates her on different days nationality ; she’ll tell you something different every time just to mess with everyone species ; seelie gender ; female orientation ; bisexual & biromantic occupation ; noble home ; seelie court / wales / louisiana accent ; she has most recently adopted a southern us accent like georgia’s in ginny and georgia so she could play the part of being from the us while she was conning mundanes, and is in the habit of using it now. originally had a welsh accent when speaking english. languages ; english , welsh , french , ukrainian , latvian , others height ; 168cm

basics ;;

mr. casually cruel ; malachi comes from an old line. elisedd and gisila moran were older nobles. mal was an accident. they didn’t want her, so they sent her to live with an aunt who had run away to wales to get away from the very couple who demanded she raise their child. her aunt was odd, called her ‘ mala ’ bc she was a little monster as a child, but showed her the world, and then supported her decision to return to the seelie realm when she decided she wanted to know the place they’d come from.

mr. here to stay ;  she showed up to court unannounced, with profuse apologies to the queen she’d never met and only heard stories of. she’d never held any grudge against the realm or the seelies, understanding that it was not their doing that she was sent away. and once she explained who she was, she was welcomed into the court. whether her parents had wanted her or not, she was recognised as a noble.

mr. never told me why ; mal confronted her parents, demanded to know why they’d abandoned her. they turned her away. but she met her siblings, both too young to understand why their parents didn’t want mal around. she took full advantage, planting herself in their lives, being present for every event, every occasion. it was petty, but she liked the children. she told them stories of their aunt, of her time in the mundane realm, and she rubbed it in her parents’ face when the children began asking for auntie mala.

mr. every single day until the end i will be by your side ; mal became friends with the late queen at some point. the friendship was odd, based mostly on physical proximity. but over time they became fairly close when mal proved to be trustworthy and a loyal friend. and mal was loyal to her, because while she was certain she held no loyalty to her mother and father, it wasn’t the court who had sent her away, and the queen was kind to her.

but that was when i got to know mr. change of heart ; at one point, mal’s parents began to plot against the former queen, but before they could carry out the plot, her parents were in an accident. her father didn’t survive, and mal turned her mother in. as punishment, her mother was banished, and her siblings went with their mother to look after her. 

baby, like a damn sociopath; so mal returned to the mundane realm. she lasted about a week living with her mother, though. she skipped out on them and moved to new orleans. she started conning mundanes she met, when she saw the way they treated people around them. if they were cruel in any way, she went after them. she conned them out of their money, anything of value she found. most of what she stole went to their victims.

what’s she gonna do ? #5 had tattoos ; everything was going fine until she discovered a shadowhunter had been sent to investigate her. she scoffed at the idea, that they’d send a child after her. and he was young, barely turning 19 when they met. they met in austin, and he followed her from houston to nashville to atlanta. they eventually ended back in louisiana, where she’d started all those years ago, and where he was from. as a joke she invited him to live with her. she wasn’t expecting him to actually show up, or for her to realise that she genuinely enjoyed the banter. even if they disagreed on so much. 

but your apathy's like a wound in salt ; they continued on like that, nothing more than a fling, until mal made the decision to return to the seelie realm for good when the circle reappeared. she still had her title, since she’d still spent plenty of time at court and had come when the queen called her. she’d acted as an ‘ ambassador ’ of a sort, between the mundane and seelie realms. throughout 2018, she visited her shadowhunter, but when amara died, she stopped returning to the mundane realm, cutting off not only her shadowhunter lover, but her family who had not returned with her. she was relieved when they appeared back in her realm alongside the ‘ guests ’ .

connections ;;

siblings

her mother

exes

friends from either realm

people she grew up around

ex #5

[bytheangell]

I Don’t Regret It If You Don’t Regret It

(Read on AO3) Square Filled: Seelie!Alec for @shadowhunterbingo Pairing: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood Rating: Teen and Up  -- Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Summary: With their realms at odds, Seelie Knight Alexander Lightwood and Prince of Edom Magnus Bane know that what they have between them can’t last forever... but that doesn't make it any easier when the consequences of their love fall upon them.  -----------------------------------------------  

Looking at Magnus behind the bars of his cell, arms and legs bound tightly with unbreakable vines covered in razor-sharp thorns which cut into his skin with the slightest movement, Alec finds he isn’t surprised, only full of sorrow and regret. This is where they were always meant to end, isn’t it? He sees the same resignation in Magnus’ eyes - hurt and frustrated, but not angry, not at Alec.

There isn’t much time. Alec takes a moment to close his eyes, remembering the moments that brought them here, the ones leading up to the decision he has to make. He needs to take one last moment to be absolutely certain he’s making the right decision.

---

Alec knew from the start that what he had with Magnus couldn’t last. It shouldn’t have lasted as long as it did, and he needed to cut his losses before they pushed things too far. After all, Alexander Lightwood was a Knight of the Seelie realm, sworn to protect and serve his Queen; and his Queen loathed Lilith and Asmodeus, the rulers of Edom the warlock Magnus Bane was sworn to protect and serve. They couldn’t have what both of them so clearly wanted, and they both knew it. With their realms on the constant brink of war, their dalliances could’ve been considered an act of treason.

But every time they crossed paths it always ended the same.

It was easiest for them to meet in the mortal realm when they were sent to represent their people at summits and meetings with the other Downworlders and members of the Shadow World. They were tracked less closely there, often the only ones of their kind, and could sneak away for a few minutes, maybe even hours if they got lucky. They’d been doing this long enough to know the tricks to not getting caught, able to pinpoint the perfect circumstances and orchestrated them whenever possible.

They swore it was a one-time thing until it wasn’t. Each time after that ended with the promise it was over. It had to be, for both of their safety. And it was just a fling, wasn’t it? Surely they wouldn’t continue to risk their lives over a few casual hookups?

It didn’t take long for them to realize it was so much more than that. When it happened, Alec couldn’t say. But at some point, it became less of a physical connection and more of an emotional one. They spoke as much as they didn’t during their time together, learning of the other’s family and friends, their hopes and dreams.

A bond formed between them that Alec insisted connected their very souls with how deep it ran, begging his sister when she discovered them just outside one of the entrances to the Seelie Realm one day and Alec had to beg her to keep his secret.

To his surprise, she didn’t even try to talk him out of seeing Magnus again. In fact, seeing how happy the warlock made him Izzy actually encouraged it, going so far as to help cover for him on the rare occasion he slipped up and needed an alibi.

There was an attack. The number of dead Downworlders was too high to think about without making him sick, but Alec only cared about one. When he saw Magnus alive and well it nearly killed him to not be able to run over and embrace him, but they were in public and there were too many eyes. When they found a moment in private later and Alec admitted that he loved Magnus, Magnus knew Alec meant it, and not just because he couldn’t lie. Magnus could lie, of course, but Alec believed the words as they were returned to him with all of his heart just the same.

They never brought up the idea of abandoning their lives and running off together; Alec knew as well as Magnus that their sense of duty and allegiance was too strong for either of them to abandon entirely. They had family and friends in their realms to protect, after all.

So they kept meeting in secret. Sometimes Raphael arranged for the Dumort to be a safe haven for a short period of time when there were too many eyes at the Institute. His friendship with Magnus and their history together meant his assurances that the clan would never speak of seeing them together there were accepted, no questions asked. Sometimes it was a quick kiss stolen in the depths of the woods in the Seelie realm, or a moment of passion taken too far in the dry sand or against a warm rock in Edom. Sometimes all Alec had was the graze of Magnus’ hand on his lower back as he turned to leave a meeting to hold him over for weeks, sometimes months, before an excuse arose to bring them back to the same place again.

In a stroke of genius, Magnus had started to bribe many Downworlders to throw more parties than usual with an open invitation to all of the Shadow World - a risk for prying eyes but a perfect excuse for them to be around one another more often, but soon even that wasn’t enough. Magnus wanted more, and Alec agreed. They began to meet in secret, not just when they happened to be in the same place for a meeting or party, but actively sneaking away to steal anywhere from moments to entire nights together.

The longer they went without being caught the more they hoped that maybe, just maybe, they could have this for themselves. Magnus and Alec were as careful as they could be without taking that final step to end things between them.

They weren’t careful enough.

Someone saw them. Alec wasn’t sure who, or when. He didn’t know if it was something they could’ve avoided, maybe one of those ‘innocent’ touches at a party was seen for what it truly was, or maybe some nosy Shadowhunter glamoured themselves and followed them one night after they left the Institute. Maybe no one sold them out and it was simply the Seelie Queen and her annoying habit of knowing more than she should.

Magnus was summoned to the Seelie Court. The moment Alec heard he knew something was wrong - there was no reason for any warlock to be called to see the Queen today, certainly not Magnus specifically, and especially not alone. Except he wasn’t alone, because the Seelie who came to tell Alec was sent by the Queen herself to make sure he was in attendance.

Alec knew what was about to happen, and no sooner had he arrived did the Queen announce that Magnus had broken Seelie Law. Magnus, appearing far calmer than he had any right to, demanded to know on what grounds he was being arrested.

The Seelie Queen stated cryptically that he took something that belonged to her without permission, shifting her gaze behind the warlock to look directly at Alec. Magnus turned his head as well and the moment he turned to confirm his suspicions Magnus gave Alec the best half-smile he could muster and mouthed ‘sorry’.

As if somehow Alec would be mad at him for this. As if he had anything to apologize for.

And then he was gone, taken away by knights who were very specifically not Alec. The Queen intentionally left so that she crossed his path, stopping to say just low enough for only him to hear that he and Magnus would never be together again and if he valued his own freedom he would choose wisely, whatever that meant.

Alec spent the entire day waiting for his own summoning to speak with the Queen but it never came. Then he spent half the night asking around to find out exactly where Magnus had been taken. He had a plan. It wasn’t a good one, hell, it was probably the most foolish thing he’d done in his entire life, and that included the months spent sneaking around with a warlock, but his mind was made up as he made his way to Magnus’ cell. Izzy helped him distract the guard to get access to Magnus, telling her he just wanted to speak with him again. If she knew what he truly planned she never would’ve agreed to help him so easily - there’s no way he would come back from helping Magnus escape, the Queen would either kill him or he would spend his life exiled and on the run.

But it was the only option he had, the only thing he could do now; no other option felt right, no other path acceptable in his heart.

When Alec arrived outside of Magnus’ cell, it was to make himself a proper traitor to the Queen.

---

Thinking back on it feels like his life flashing before his eyes. He’s only known Magnus for about a year but nothing before meeting Magnus seems to matter, and neither will anything after should Magnus be left to die here because of him.

“Alexander…” Magnus says softly.

Alec shakes his head. “Don’t you dare say you’re sorry. This isn’t your fault. I should’ve been more careful. The odds that this is because someone spotted me leaving and-”

“Hey,” Magnus cuts him off. “If I don’t get to be sorry then neither do you.”

That makes Alec smile in spite of everything. Running a hand along the cell door in front of him he can feel the magic within the bars and reaffirms that the Queen expected him to try and free Magnus. He knows because he can feel the Seelie magic tied to this particular cell and what it means - he felt it the moment he walked in. The possibility that he cannot simply let Magnus go should’ve been one he anticipated - the Queen warned him they couldn’t be together, that he had to choose his own freedom. She planned for this, of course she did.

Alec hits his fist against the bars in frustration. This changes everything… but it changes nothing. He still plans on freeing Magnus but decides to ask one last question to be certain it’s worth the sacrifice.

“Would you take it back, if you knew how it would end?” Alec asks him. Magnus has no reason to lie, imprisoned and facing certain death. Alec wouldn’t blame him for saying yes, for wishing he kept himself out of Alec’s life, or at least that they’d ended things sooner.

“Not a second of it,” Magnus promises, and Alec’s mind is made up.

“Me either.”

Alec places his hand upon the lock and closes his eyes, making his intention clearly known to the magic held there. He waits with bated breath when nothing happens at first, and then the door swings open. Magnus’ eyes widen in shock.

“How did you-”

“I know what you said earlier, but I am sorry for this.” Alec knows it isn’t what Magnus would choose, which is why Alec doesn’t give him the option. He reaches a hand out to grab the vines wrapped around Magnus’ body. The moment he does they react to his touch, sliding off of Magnus and snaking their way around him instead, binding his arms and legs together painfully.

Alec fell to his knees, and though free now Magnus made no motion to stand or flee, eyes trained on Alec and hands already reaching out to try and free him from the vines.

“Don’t,” Alec warns. “They won’t react to your magic, and you’ll only make them pull tighter.” This froze Magnus in place, not wanting to be the reason the thorns dug deeper than they already were.

“Alexander, what have you done?” Magnus whispers sadly.

“I made an equal exchange. She knew I’d come, and instead of leaving guards she left me a choice. The cell is bound to the crime, not the criminal. It must hold one guilty of the crime-” Alec explains.

“-and we’re guilty of the same crime,” Magnus realizes. “I can’t let you do this. Please, put them back. I’d never ask for you to trade your life for mine,” Magnus insists, holding his hands out in offering.

“I know you wouldn’t. I also know if our roles were reversed you wouldn’t hesitate to do the same for me.”

Magnus opens his mouth but closes it again without a word, unable to argue.

“She’ll be kinder to me, if only because I’m one of her own. She certainly won’t kill me.” That alone makes this exchange the only option in Alec’s mind. If Magnus remained a prisoner it would only be a matter of time before the Queen grew bored and killed him. Alec is fairly certain she wouldn’t do the same to him, and he’ll take those odds over the alternative.

“If it makes you feel any more at ease, I don’t think this cell was ever meant for you. She knew if she threw me in it as an order there would’ve been an uproar. This way she can keep her favor and claim she tried to allow me my freedom while we both know this was always meant to be my fate for betraying her.” Alec would do anything to guarantee Magnus’ safety, to ensure the Queen won’t go after him again, and she knows it. She has Alec wrapped around her pinky finger for the rest of his life. She never truly wanted either of them dead - she only wanted her favorite Knight back under her thumb where he belongs.

And here he is, bound and waiting.

“I’m not certain anything could make me feel at ease right now” Magnus admits, voice wavering with emotion.

“Not even a kiss goodbye?” Alec asks. They’re sat close enough to touch if only Alec’s arm weren’t bound behind his back. Magnus shifts towards him, tears now spilling silently from his eyes, hands moving to carefully come to rest in small spaces of Alec’s sides not already occupied by the vines.

For all the pain he’s in, both physically and emotionally, it all seems to settle the moment Magnus’ lips are pressed gently against his own. It’s slow and deep, and Alec can feel every emotion conveyed they don’t have time to say aloud.

“Now leave,” Alec breathes out the moment their lips part, Magnus’ face still close enough that he can feel his breath warm in the space between them. “You know the way out. Be careful, but something tells me she isn’t going to stop you. I’ll never agree to serve her again if she hurts you, and she knows it. She needs me too much to risk it.”

There’s a small, sad smile on Alec’s face, relief over knowing Magnus would be able to live out the rest of his life mixed with pride over being the reason why he’ll be safe and unspeakable heartache over the fact that it means he may never see him again.

“Take care of yourself, Magnus.”

“I’ll come back for you,” Magnus promises. Alec knows he means it - he’s going to try, at least, probably longer than he should. Alec doesn’t have the heart to tell him not to bother. “I’ll find a way. I love you, Alexander.”

“I love you too.”

It’s the only truth Alec can afford him because he doesn’t share in Magnus’ optimism.

Watching Magnus leave Alec catalogs every curve of his body, every sway of his hair in the breeze certain it’ll be the last image of him he’ll have to hold on to.

As his Queen appears shortly thereafter, tisk-ing and shaking her head at him through the bars in unsurprised disappointment, Alec can only hope the memories will be enough to carry him through.

[agent-houdini]

Abilities, Backstory, etc.

Here’s a whole ass brain dump about my trash can Houdini! I haven’t done some proper writing about her background and everything in a while, so here it is.

I’ve discussed this a few times with people because I’ve never really been certain about what she is. Is she a shapeshifter, pure and true? Is she just able to glamour herself into different people? Is she, like Tonks, a Metamorphmagus? Is she part fae? It’s been hard, trying to decide what exactly she is. I’ve had her for nearly a year and a half now and I still haven’t figured out what this - this character, who is so much of me - ability is?

I’ve recently been leaning fae. It fits a lot of things I’ve always thought about:

Houdini (Laura/Lauren depending on what ship/verse/whatever because I was originally too scared to make her fully based off myself in many different facets) never presented this ability when she was young. Metamorphmagus and shapeshifters would be able to change - though not under their control - what they looked like from a young age. Hair color, features, whatever, all could change from birth. I’ve always toyed with Houdini’s early inklings of her ability allowed her to change her eye colors, but that was never something that really happened until she was a teenager. 

Houdini’s father left when she was young. Her family is very fractured - as an adult, she has no family. Her mother decided to drop contact with her during her transition from undergraduate to graduate school. And, as mentioned earlier, her father left when she was young. (I originally placed it around 8-9 years old.) Her father being the fae piece of the puzzle allows him an early out, and keeps Houdini in the dark about her own abilities. It also allows for her mother to continue to resent Houdini, especially as she gets older. (Her mother and father had loved each other, but when it was all.. surprise! I’m part fae!... her love sort of disappeared, because what else had he lied about?)

Her douchebag of an ex definitely tried to put her on the Deep Web eBay. He knew there was... something to her. Either he could be part fae himself and get the vibes, or who knows what. At least that part of my backstory has generally remained the same for her? (Let’s just ignore the whole ‘brought in for prostitution’ idea I had originally gone with. That was dumb.)

It takes a while for Houdini to master her skill. Like I said earlier, it starts to appear around her teenage years (15/16 most likely). When I was brainstorming with @faegents, she made a great point to mention that this is not an easy skill to master. (It’s also a bit like Polyjuicing, where a piece of hair or blood or an item is needed, but they don’t drink anything? I haven’t quite figured out the logistics of this yet in regards to Houdini and her abilities.)

Now, about her abilities:

Houdini can only transform into human-like appearances. While Metamorphimagi can - at least Tonks can, anyways - turn parts of them into animal features (duckbill, pig’s nose), she cannot.

She has her favorite “covers” that she uses quite often. These were some of the identities she cooked up during graduate school. (One is even based off of a favorite OC of mine! I like to joke she bumped into Kayla and “stole” her face after they interacted.)

I do believe that there is something that can prevent her from transforming into someone else/wearing a different face. I don’t know if it’s a specific kind of metal/potion/ingredient/spell/whatever,  but there’s something. And depending on the potency and exposure, the effects can last for any time ranging from a few hours to a week or two.

I feel like, because of her ‘part fae’ background and her ability, she’s always had a natural knack for languages. Speaking them, understanding them, whatever. She’s got a bit of a gift and it makes her job so much easier when it comes to dialects and foreign affairs.

Her personal investment into makeup and makeup application skills I think just furthers her ability to look like others. I also think her ability started to ‘awaken’, if you’d call it that, when she began taking an interest in cosplay in high school. Cosplay as a whole is about turning yourself into another person, another character - and maybe she was just naturally drawn to it because of her ability to shift.

Some other things:

I’ve definitely toyed with the idea of Houdini’s fae lineage being related, in some way or another, to Oberon/Titania. Partly because I just think that opens up a lot of plot ideas, but I also really just like throwing references in to things I’ve done in my own life? Sure, I wasn’t the faerie queen while in a production of Midsummer but I do enjoy referencing it! For reference, I was Hippolyta.

Agent Whiskey does not know that Houdini has the ability to shapeshift until her transfer to Roanoke.

Houdini started at Statesman - and Champ definitely knew about her abilities. I’d like to believe that there’s some sort of information sharing between the heads of some of these groups - like the Seelie Court has a liaison who probably passes information to Lillith, Merlin/Arthur, and Champ. And, due to the aforementioned lineage, there is a need to protect Houdini. Placing her within the walls of Statesman would remove any immediate threats, especially if, at first, she’s placed in the basement to work on files and review intel. (An alternative to this occurring is that Statesman, with their liquor front, hires people from different universities to work their PR management or whatever “public facing” field they can for intelligence collection and review? And then they decide if they’ve got the drive for working in the spy business or the liquor business, like a test the traditional field agents have to go through? I’m still thinking about this, as for Statesman and her roots there, she is not a traditional field officer and does not go into the field until an emergency pops up. More on that later, I guess? I’m still sitting on these ideas for her initiation into both groups.)

anyways thanks for coming to my TEDTalk about Houdini!

[hiddlesgirl]

SH 322: All Good Things...

This was a fantastic episode, I was crying from the moment the wedding started and I didn’t stop until long after the credits had rolled. As much as I want the show to continue with all my heart, this was a beautiful finale episode; it wrapped up the outstanding storylines and gave us a wonderfully bittersweet ending. I really don’t think we could have asked for anything better, the cast and crew did absolutely amazingly with the limited amount of air time they were given; I am seriously so grateful to them all that they were able to give us something so beautiful.

First thing to note is that this episode is 60 minutes long instead of 4o minutes; they gave us an extra 20 minutes air time to ensure that we got an amazing episode. Now, let me make sure you know that this was not Freeform or Netflix being generous; this was Todd and Darren not being able to cut the episode a minute shorter or else risk ruining it and going to the networks and begging for those extra minutes. So, in case you didn’t know this already, we owe those extra minutes (which enabled us to have some beautiful scenes) to Todd and Darren.

The first scene in which they defeated Lilith, cured Izzy and destroyed Edom therefore enabling Magnus to leave did seem rushed and extremely convenient fixes to the three problems; but this is completely understandable because they needed to wrap up these three loose ends before we could move forward in dealing with Jonathan and still have time for some scenes afterwards.

I really liked the morning montage of our three main couples; Sizzy’s first time, Clace getting to cuddle in bed after being separated for so long and Alec sleeping peacefully with Magnus by his side who is looking at Alec like he cannot believe his luck in finding him. I know that some people were disappointed that Malec weren’t cuddled up together too, I was a bit disappointed too but I also love what they did. Firstly because Magnus playing with Alec’s hair is so soft and adorable, plus I think that the moment spoke more about their feelings right now than cuddling would have.

For Alec he is finally able to sleep safe in the knowledge that Magnus will be there when he wakes up, we know that in the previous episode Alec fell asleep out of sheer exhaustion. Now he is able to sleep peacefully, also his body is facing Magnus even in sleep; we know from previous episodes that he doesn’t always wake up facing Magnus (for example in 2x15 Alec was facing the wall when he woke up). I may be reading a little too much into it, but hey that’s what I do.

For Magnus he can’t quite believe that this man literally walked into Hell for him; he had been trying to come to terms with the fact that he would never see his fiancé again and now he doesn’t have to face that dim future. He loves this man so much and is so excited to marry him that he can’t even bear to take his eyes off him long enough to oversleep. The stroking of Alec’s hair is a lovely display of soft affection from Magnus, especially because it is just for him; Alec isn’t aware of what he’s doing so Magnus touching Alec is just for his own comfort. I just love this little moment.

I really loved the conversation between Simon and Izzy, they were both surprised by how easy it felt to transition into an intimate romantic relationship; I think that this is just beautiful because it shows that sometimes having that established bond and closeness can really lend itself to the beginning of a beautiful romantic relationship. It’s almost the opposite of Simon and Clary because although their romantic relationship was sweet while it lasted you knew it would never last because they were too close in a way, like siblings; whereas with Izzy there was always this mutual interest that was ignored in favour of their friendship.

Considering how awkward first times can be for on screen couples it was amazing to see them so at ease with each other and their new relationship. I also loved that they discussed their insecurities a little concerning past relationships gone bad, and deciding to learn to be better together. I love that this made the point that each relationship should be looked at separately from your previous ones and that you shouldn’t expect it to play out a certain way just because that is what happened before. Plus, that this is a relationship they are building together and that it will become what they make it.

I love that Magnus literally could not wait another day to marry Alec; they have been pulled apart so many times and he is scared that it will happen again because they never know what threat lies around the corner. I also adore that Alec seems to have wanted to plan the wedding, to go through that entire process with Magnus; I love this contrast to Season 1 when he wanted nothing to do with planning his wedding to Lydia. Now that he is choosing to marry someone he loves he wants to be involved in the process of creating that ceremony.

Alec wants to have their wedding at the Institute which confuses Magnus at first but Alec goes onto explain the message that it would convey would be so important. Alec experienced so much anxiety, self repression and low self esteem when growing up because he felt like he couldn’t be open and honest about who he is. He doesn’t want that to be the future of other Shadowhunters; he wants to show everyone that it’s okay to love someone of the same gender, and that it’s okay to love a Downworlder; he wants to show the Clave and the entire Shadow World that it’s okay to love whoever you love.

Magnus’ face softens where he realises Alec’s intentions because he also knows how it feels to be rejected by people, by family; he also is a very compassionate person. He shares in Alec wish for the Shadow World to be more open to relationships like theirs; he wants to show them that no matter your differences it’s the strength of your love for each other that matters most.

I adore the little flirty moments about tuxedos, especially when you look back to Season 1 when Alec was afraid to even be near Magnus or smile at him. I will never stop marvelling over Alec’s journey and how far Malec’s relationship has come.

The scene between Clary and Jace is very sweet, I love seeing them smile but you can still see how much the situation with Jonathan is hanging over Clary. She knows that he isn’t just going to disappear and is scared of what he is going to do, especially now that she isn’t there as a grounding influence. She also doesn’t want the threat of him to overshadow Alec and Magnus’ wedding, she loves them both so much.

Jace understands why she is hurting but he makes the point that in their lives there will always be demons, there will always be a threat waiting around the corner but that’s life. You have to enjoy the good times and celebrate because that is what they fight for, to be able to live and love. I just really adored this line and moment because it rings true for everyone, it is important to enjoy life.

I have to say that I was very surprised when Jonathan killed the Seelie Queen, she has been a constant powerful thorn in our characters sides since 2B. She is a very intriguing character and was always interesting to watch, that said you love to hate her because she has caused a lot of upset for our favourites and she is always looking out for herself, you can never trust her. But given how powerful she has been built up to be I was extremely surprised that she died, although we know that Jonathan has become extremely powerful (compared to Lucifer and a God) it just didn’t cross my mind that he would kill her (as much of an annoyance as she is to him) until it literally happened. I am glad that we did get to see Lola again (albeit briefly) before the Queen’s demise.

I really enjoyed the scene between Alec and Jace; Jace has developed so much in allowing himself to show his emotions and that has positively impacted his bond with Alec so much, they seem much closer now than they did in Season 1. Their new found emotional openness has helped them both so much as individuals and made their bond so much healthier than it was before.

I love that Jace was able to exhibit both his excitement and happiness for Alec and Magnus, but also his apprehension at Alec moving out. They haven’t lived apart since they were children so Jace is naturally anxious about Alec moving out, he doesn’t want them to grow apart and is nervous about feeling left behind now that Alec is taking his romantic relationship to the next level. Alec reassures him that no matter what they will always be brothers, just because he is becoming closer to Magnus does not mean he is growing apart from Jace; they will always be a part of each other and nothing can change that. For those reasons, I think this might be one of my favourite scenes between these two of the entire series.

I cannot tell you how much I love the bond between Izzy and Clary, right from the moment they met they have been supporting and loving towards each other. Too many times in shows, especially young adult shows, they create animosity between female characters for no real reason and I am so happy that Shadowhunters went in completely the opposite direction. Their friendship is one of my favourite things in the show; the friendships, between so many different characters, is one of my favourite things about the entire show.

I actually did tear up during this scene because they have become like sisters and you can tell how much they mean to each other; but to also take that step into becoming Parabatai shows just how strong that connection is. Especially on Izzy’s side because she never even considered having a Parabatai, preferring to work alone, but now she wants to be tethered to Clary; to share that bond like no other with her. For Clary, to have a bond that is so similar to family ties is so important and there is no one she would rather be bonded with than Izzy. I get so emotional about this.

I love that we heard Clary call Luke ‘Dad’, I am pretty sure that she has never called him Dad before; she has said that he raised her and that he was like a Dad, but she has never called him ‘Dad’ to his face. I admit that I cried, because I just love their Dad-daughter relationship so much. This is another thing I adore about the show, how many familial relationships exist between people who aren’t related by blood.

I was so happy to see Clary with her mum again, especially considering the circumstances in which she lost her; again I teared up a little. It was such a wonderfully sweet moment between them. Then we found out the reason she was there.

I completely understand why Raziel was angry that Clary had been drawing runes that he did not give her, going against his will; but I don’t like that his last straw wasn’t raising the dead (defying the natural order of the world) but was uniting Shadowhunters and Downworlders. Although you almost understand Raziel not wanting Shadowhunters to be affected by demon blood, it was a temporary rune that only connected them for a short amount of time; and it ended up feeling so much like discrimination against Downworlders that it left a bit of a sour taste in your mouth, especially after we were all so happy when Raziel said he didn’t wish the death of Downworlders in 2x20. I understand why from both a character and storyline point of view, but it still rankles a little that the Alliance rune was the breaking factor, not the Necromancy rune.

I did like the scene between Magnus and Lorenzo, clearing up and putting away that animosity between them. Magnus really appreciated what Lorenzo did for Alec, Izzy and himself in Edom; he wanted to show Lorenzo that his actions meant a lot to him. I think that Lorenzo realised that what he believed about Magnus wasn’t necessarily true, especially because he has all these people willing to risk their lives for him, because they loved him. I adored Lorenzo’s lines about making a family of your own.

I will always firmly believe that Lorenzo’s animosity stemmed from jealousy, personally I cannot completely forgive how he treated Magnus and I don’t feel that he was fully redeemed by those few acts in 321 and 322 but I am willing to believe that he was making steps to become better and that if there had been s Season 4 we would have seen him develop into a better person.

I really loved the moment between Maryse and Alec when they talk about Robert; so many times children think that they need to choose between their parents when they split up. I adore that Maryse made the point that no matter what happened between her and Robert, it doesn’t change that fact that Robert is his dad and that he loves him.

We find out that Jonathan is destroying all the Shadowhunter Institutes one by one, leaving the New York Institute until last. He wants to destroy Clary’s world while she watches, to take everything she loves away from her because he feels like she abandoned him and he has nothing left that he loves. You can see how distraught Clary is, she now feels responsible for the deaths of all those people because Jonathan killed them to hurt her. She has to carry so much, she is so strong and I love her so much.

Clary insists on going after Jonathan alone, she knows that Jonathan will not kill her because he loves her, but he would not hesitate to kill the others. My heart is breaking throughout the entire scene because you can see that Clary truly loves him, despite everything he has done she can’t stop herself from loving him. She knows that he is a murderer, that he has done terrible things; but he loves her and he is her brother. She knows he has to be stopped but it is breaking her heart.

All she wanted was a family, she wanted so much to believe in Jonathan but in the end their family has caused them both nothing but pain. She knows that there is nothing she can do to change Jonathan now, he has gone through too much and done too much to come back from it. I cannot express enough sympathy for her that she has not only had to kill her own father but now she has to kill her brother to protect her found family, the people she loves.

As much as I dislike Jonathan for the hurt he has caused I cannot help but sympathise with him; he was experimented on as a child, felt abandoned by Jocelyn, he was pressured by his father, then he was abandoned by his father, tortured by his demonic mother, manipulated by his unloving father and now he feels like his sister has cast him aside too. All he has ever know is pain, no one has ever truly loved him; he has been warped by his experiences, twisted so much that he almost cannot function as a normal human being. He is such a tragic villain.

His death was beautifully painful; the image of Clary enveloping him, trying to convey her love for him, while gently suffocating him with angelic power was shattering. You could see how much it was hurting her, and her shushing him was like a knife to the chest. I really start crying when Jonathan says ‘Let me go’ and Clary replies ‘I am’; the double meaning of it is heartbreaking. It is such a beautiful scene visually and emotionally, but also soul shattering because you can see how much pain Clary is in.

She has lost her last blood relative and her heart crumbles even more when her Angelic Power rune disappears because now she realises she is going to lose her found family too. She is going to lose her powers, Jace and those she loves; she is about to lose everything.

The Malec wedding was everything I could ever have imagined and more, I cannot say how much I loved this scene and how much it made me cry. Firstly, the colour scheme; the warmth of the colours is beautiful, the yellows and oranges was wonderful. Especially in contrast with Alec’s first wedding which was blues and pale colours, the complete contrast of cool and warm sums up how not only Alec feels about the weddings but how they made us as a audience feel. We knew that he wasn’t happy about marrying Lydia and that he wouldn’t have a happy life, it felt more like a prison sentence; but with Magnus, he loves him with his entire being and he could not be happier. I love that the colours reflected this emotional change.

Secondly, the colour of dresses the women are wearing. Clary and Madzie are wearing the same shade of red; this so much reflects their connection to Magnus. He considers them both his family, they are like his little sisters (they are almost like children to him) and they mean so much to him. Whereas Catarina, Izzy and Maryse are wearing deep blue; they have become his family in a different way. Catarina is his best friend, the sister he found; Izzy has become such a close friend and will soon become a sister to him too; Maryse has become the mother he wished for. I just love that their clothes represent their connection to Magnus, especially for Izzy and Maryse; to show that they accept Magnus into their family as much as he considers them his is beautiful.

Thirdly, Maryse walked Magnus down the aisle. We know that Magnus felt rejected by his own mother and his father figures were awful; now Maryse has fully accepted him into her heart. She has become like a mother to him, which means so much to him especially considering her attitude towards him in Season 1. I cannot express how much I love Maryse’s development and her new relationship with Magnus.

Fourth, they used ‘I get to love you’; that song just screams Malec and it honestly was perfect, they could not have found a better song to use.

Fifth, the vows were beautiful. They encapsulate everything the Malec are to each other, and I love that they would say a line each which would complete the two lines which just sums them up because they really do complete each other. The vows were honestly so perfect, they weren’t cheesy or lacklustre; they managed to hit the exact balance that made them emotional and honest to the characters.

Those are just the main things that I love but the entire scene was just so stunning that you really can’t describe it in words and do it justice. It was perfect.

I really liked that we had a little moment between Izzy, Simon and Raphael; after everything that has happened between them it was nice to get that lovely little moment of them all being happy. Raphael is moving on with his life as a mundane, feeling more at peace with himself than he has in a very long time; he is happy that Izzy and Simon have found each other. He cares for them both and knows that they will make each other happy. I just thought this entire interaction was very sweet.

After the tears had just started to stop after the wedding I started crying again during Clary and Simon’s scene because you just knew that this was her saying goodbye to him. She cannot bear the thought of leaving without letting Simon know just how much he, and their friendship, means to her. All the party scenes feel slightly bittersweet because although we are so happy for Malec we are hurting because Clary is slowly losing her runes.

I love that Helen and Aline are discussing wedding attire, I love that their relationship has flourished but it also shows that Alec has accomplished his aim; couples like them are having the confidence to show their love openly.

I cried when Max said that he’ll call Magnus ‘brother’, we were all so disappointed with Max’s behaviour at the party Magnus threw for him in 208 and this moment more than makes up for it. It is another member of Alec’s family that is welcoming Magnus with open arms and you can see how much it means to the both of them.

I adore the scene between Clary and Maryse; Clary knows that Luke will be happy with Maryse and she is glad that Luke will have romance in his life. She also is thankful that Luke will have Maryse to support him after she is gone. I cried a bit more when she asked Maryse if the angels could forgive. In this moment you could see just how truly scared she is of losing the Shadow World, she doesn’t want to leave everything behind and is holding out the hope that Raziel will forgive her.

I think that the dance scene between Clace is one of my favourite scenes between them of the entire scenes, even as heartbreaking as it is. Jace loves Clary so much and has been able to grow as a person because of her influence; she is the first person that he has ever felt secure knowing she loves him unconditionally.

Clary’s heart is breaking, she loves Jace so much and knows how much he is going to hurt when she’s gone; and his words just make her more certain of that. She needs him to know that she loves him, and that no matter what happens she will always love him. She words what she is saying so carefully hoping that he will look back on this moment and be reassured that she loves him even when she doesn’t know him. I cried the entire way through this scene because it was so sweet, Clary was in so much pain and you knew that soon Jace would be in agony.

Honestly, the moment Clary walks out of the hall breaks my soul completely because we know that not only is it Clary crying over what she is losing but it is Kat crying because Shadowhunters is ending. She openly spoke about the fact that a lot of that was just her crying because these were going to be the last scenes of the show. Kat loves this show so much and it really shows. So not only am I crying for Clary but I am crying for and with Kat.

The entire sequence of Clary forgetting and Jace finding the letter was so soul crushing but beautiful at the same time; I was surprised I could still see the screen I was crying so much. It made me feel such a painful sense of loss and I cannot praise Kat’s performance in this scene enough because I was literally breaking with Clary, and that moment her last rune disappears you can see it all just vanish, her facial expression and body language just changes completely. I openly sobbed my heart out at this second. I did like that her runes seemed to disappear in reverse order (with the exception of the Angelic rune) and that the last rune to disappear was the first rune she got, the Iratze rune that Jace drew to heal her. I was a complete and utter mess.

I was a little surprised that we got a year long jump, but I am also happy that we were able to see how their lives have changed; and in many cases for the better. It shows us a little glimpse of how their lives have progressed and potentially where we were supposed to end up if the show had continued, that this was supposed to be the natural ending (with the exception of Clary still not remembering. )

I absolutely love the fact that Alec is now the Inquisitor, this was always his dream job and I am so happy that he has been able to achieve that dream and be happy about his situation. Luke talks about Maryse and it seems like they are very happy and stable in their relationship. We find out that Shadowhunters and Downworlders are now working hand in hand, with Downworlders now playing an active role as deputies; it shows us that the Clave has evolved so much and that there is now a much healthier relationship between Shadowhunters and Downworlders.

We find out that not only is Alec in Alicante but Magnus is there too, they have moved their apartment there. This is amazing because before Downworlders could even travel to Alicante. He is the High Warlock of Alicante too, I honestly cannot tell you how happy this makes me; not only has he regained a role he loved doing but he is now stationed inside the Shadowhunter home city, setting an example for warlock and Shadowhunter cooperation.

His phone conversation also tells us that Shadowhunter Institutes (we presume) are becoming much more open to Downworlders because a lot of people are now adjusting their wards to allow for Downworlders which is amazing. These two scenes show just how much the Shadow World has progressed considering Shadowhunters and Downworlder relations in just a year.

I also love Magnus’ outfit and makeup; it is very much reminiscent of Season 1 which implies that he is feeling more confident in himself and happy with his life than he has in a while. Plus he just looks stunning.

I adore the moment between him and Alec, it eludes to the very domestic and happy life they live together, how comfortable Alec is living with Magnus. I also love the little bit of flirty Alec, and I adore the ‘To us’ because it mirrors 106. It makes me so happy that in their last scene Malec are happily married and both have careers they love.

I know that ‘Taki’s’ is a reference to the book, so I am happy for the book fans who were waiting for it to appear. I love that it is Maia who is opening it as a place for all Downworlders to socialise together, further encouraging good relationships and camaraderie between all the factions. We also learn the Simon has written a graphic novel like he always dreamed of, I love that we are seeing so many characters realising their dreams.

My heart breaks when they reminisce about Clary, you can see the huge hole that has been ripped in Simon. I love that Maia added a burrata salad to the menu in Clary’s name; so many people cared about and miss her that it echoes through everyone she touched.

IZZY IS THE HEAD OF THE NEW YORK INSTITUTE! Sorry for the yelling but I was so excited and so happy for Izzy, she has got to be an amazing Head of the Institute because she has always been forward thinking when it concerns Downworlders, she is leader material and I would have loved to see more of her being amazing. Simon is a Downworld deputy which I love and their interaction is so sweet; I am so happy that we got to see their romance realised and they definitely seem to be very happy a year on.

I have to say that I love the Jimon training scene. It is very playful, especially with Jace’s ‘boop boop’, but it also shows just how comfortable Jace and Simon are with each other now. Their relationship has come so far from the animosity from Season 1. They have truly come to appreciate each other as individuals and create a friendship that seems to be beneficial to them both; they definitely seem to have become a touchstone for each in Clary’s absence.

Simon wants Jace to stop checking on Clary because he knows that it isn’t healthy for him, he wants Jace to be able to move on because clinging to Clary is hurting him. He understands because Clary is so important to him too, but he can’t stand to watch Jace continue to torture himself like this.

You can see Jace’s agony at being separated from the love of his life, he is desperate for her to remember and cannot let go of that possibility. He is sure that their love is stronger than the spite of the angels; he just wished that they saw that. The only thing that would have made this scene better would have been if Jace and Simon had hugged, but maybe that’s just me.

We see that Clary has realised her mundane dream of becoming an artist at the Brooklyn Academy of Art; on one hand I am happy for her but it also breaks your heart because it is evident that she feels something is missing (just like the first time she was mundane). A wonderful person on Twitter (I cannot remember who and I can’t find the tweet right now) pointed out that her two paintings resemble the two weddings in colour schemes, and that was both wonderful and painful to realise.

You can see how shocked Jace is that she sees him and he panics, I am sure that he had decided (thanks to Simon) that this should be the last time he checks up on her because it was just too painful; but now she sees him. He runs because he doesn’t know how to deal with the situation and is scared that it was a mistake, and that she actually doesn’t know him.

Clary chases him and calls him by his name, you can see the happiness radiate from Jace which just increases when she seems to recognise his runes. As heartbreaking as it is that we don’t end with Clace together I do love that their last scene mirrors their first and it brings the series full circle and feels right in a way. It was so beautifully done and I was crying so much.

I cannot put into words how much I love this episode and just how much it affected me emotionally; it was truly a beautiful episode. I honestly believe that they could not have given us a better ending (in the circumstances). It felt like it gave all the characters some happiness and closure, it didn’t feel so much like an open wound. They created it so that gave us a beautiful ending but also in a way that the series could be continued if the occasion ever arose. I cannot thank the entire cast and crew enough.

I love this show so much and it will forever hold a special place in my heart. I ache over the cancellation and I will always hope that one day we will be able to revisit the Shadow World with our wonderful cast. But I sincerely love this episode and I do feel that it was a beautiful and meaningful end to our wonderful story.

[likelovelikesuicide]

Underhill - Malec Scenes

So, since the Shadowhunters fandom is stuck in what has to be the hottest mess of a cancellation ever, I decided to finish a fanfic idea that I’ve been working on to accompany the missing Malec scenes I’ve already written.

This is 5 Malec scenes written from the POV of Underhill - and includes 5 scenes of Underhill unintentionally eavesdropping on his favorite couple 

Front Lines 

Every Shadowhunter knew the name Alec Lightwood, and Shawn Underhill was no different. The Lightwoods had been head’s of the New York institute for many years and their family legacy was one of the longest in the Shadow World. So, when he’d heard that Alec had risked his position, for love no less, he couldn’t help be curious. He hadn’t been at the wedding himself, but if the rumors were true it meant that the eldest of the Lightwood sons and heir to their ancient legacy, was gay.

Just like Shawn Underhill himself, though in his case, no one knew.  

Underhill was impressed that, despite being several years younger and openly dating a male warlock, Alec Lightwood had managed to maintain his reputation as one of the best archers the Clave had on record. And though Underhill had never met him, he had taken notice of Magnus Bane before. Any warlock being in the institute raised more than a few noses. An immortal being that the Shadowhunters had to chronicle to keep up with, because he outlives them all. But in the case of the High Warlock of Brooklyn, it was more than that. This man appeared to be eccentric, gorgeous, and impressive even by the Clave’s skewed standards in regards to downworlders.

The first time Underhill sees Alec Lightwood and Magnus Bane together is the morning after Valentine’s infiltration of the institute. He’s part of the team searching for stray circle members around the perimeter when they happen upon the Lightwood boy kissing the High Warlock of Brooklyn like his life depends on it. Despite the murmurs from the forming crowd, Underhill understands exactly why Alec had refused a marriage that would have made him Head of the Institute.

----

“Alexander, you cannot possibly think you're responsible for the Seelie’s opinion of your people.” Magnus stopped and turned to Alec in the hallway as they left the ops center. Izzy’s high heels clicking away in the other direction had caused Underhill to look up from his paper work and now he couldn’t seem to look away.

“Not responsible for it, no, but I perpetuated it. I was the one who brought Meliorn in for questioning that almost got him killed. I knew about the Clave using seelie scouts to spy on Valentine. I…” Alec’s insistent voice remained quiet, though Underhill could hear them from his station at the desk.

“Trust me darling, you are not the problem.” Magnus leaned forward, taking Alec’s downcast face in his hands before placing a featherlight kiss on his forehead. Even from a distance, Underhill could see the smile touch Alec’s lower lip. “I dare say what the Seelie Kalie did had more to do with your parabatai’s so called book club than anything else.”

At that, Alec let out a soft laugh. “Right,” He said with a shake of his head that was somehow both fond and annoyed. Alec turned, taking one of Magnus’ hands as they continued walking.

“Besides, in my experience the Seelie Queen is rarely less than hostile.”  Magnus pointed out with a flourish as his voice trailed away. Underhill had to shake himself, realizing he’d been staring at the couple, mesmerized by their simple exchange. As he looked around he saw a few people glace towards them, some in distaste, however no one seemed to mind their small display of public affection.

It was an odd thing to see even married Shadowhunters engage in any form of PDA, but Magnus and Alec seemed completely unbothered by any prying eyes.

----

“Ugh, that warlocks here again,” Duncan says under his breath and Underhill follows his eye across the room to where Magnus Bane is striding towards the offices, looking like a million bucks as per usual. “He walks around here like he owns the place.”

“He probably could if he wanted to, and everyone knows that he’s the boss’ boyfriend.” Underhill shrugs, turning his attention back to his work.

“That’s my point,” Duncan says suddenly louder.  “It’s bad enough he’s.. ya know, into other dudes like that! But slumming it with a downworlder? and one of his reputation...”

“I assume you’re referring to the Clave’s file on him?” Underhill asks, aware that anything the Clave recorded on the life of an immortal Downworlder should be taken with a grain of salt.

“Yeah, the guys like 400 years old and a total playboy.” Duncan scoffs.

“You do realize warlock’s are immortal right?” Underhill asks, absently turning the page in his report. “And he’s clearly in love with Lightwood, so what’s your problem?”

“Love? Come on, he’s probably like a spy or...  or you think the Lightwoods keep him as an asset?” Duncan asked conspiratorially, with something akin to excitement in his voice. Underhill knew that tone because he’d heard it from several Shadowhunters in regards to Alec’s relationship with Magnus. It couldn’t be that they’d simply fallen in love, something fishy had to be going on and someone needed to prove it. Underhill was tired of hearing it.

“I don't think anyone keeps a warlock like Magnus Bane,” Underhill points out, voice turning harsh as he stood up to gather his things. “And by the way, I’m also ya know, into dudes that way. So maybe you should just keep your opinions to yourself.”

---

Underhill is listening intently to Isabelle Lightwood as she’s going over the institute’s updated security plans following the escape of Valentine. Everything would need to be overhauled after checks and scans were complete. Another team had been tasked with determining how Duncan had been compromised, his family slaughtered.

The moment Magnus Bane enters the ops center, the atmosphere changes around them. As usual, the warlock is dressed impeccably and Underhill supposes it’s perfectly natural to stare. The guy was like a walking piece of art, but the murmurs coming from the others at the table were not so agreeable.

They were quickly silenced by Isabelle loudly clearing her throat, her face reminded Underhill of the saying “if looks could kill.” She stared at the group in disgust until Magnus stopped beside her, wearing a contrastingly friendly smile.

“Ah, Isabelle,” Magnus started, rings glistening in the lights of the hologram. “Alexander said you were going over the security breach if I wanted in.”

“Absolutely,” Isabelle dropped her annoyed expression and turned to Magnus, immediately diving back into the plans.

It’s a few hours later and the ops center is relatively quiet when Alec Lightwood returns from a mission. Before discarding his bow, he be-lines for Magnus and is gifted with a sweet kiss that makes his cheeks flush. The only Shadowhunter at the table who doesn’t seem to notice is Isabelle and Underhill figures she must see this sort of thing all the time. Several of his colleagues are noticeably uncomfortable but none of them dare say anything. 

----

Shifting through the pages of his report on a shax demon attack in lower midtown, Underhill turned a corner towards the Office of the Head of the Institute and froze. The newly appointed Head of the New York institute, Alec Lightwood, was giggling while sharing kisses with his infamous warlock boyfriend. The two of them had stopped in the doorway to the office with mere inches between them, oblivious to the world around them.

“Now, Mr. Lightwood, let's do keep things professional,” The warlock says as he brushes a hand down Alec’s lapels in a distinctly unprofessional manner.

“Of course, Mr. Bane.” Alec says as he moves them both into his office. “This meeting is to reinstate the institutes contracts with the High Warlock of Brooklyn under our new leadership.”

“Ah, and what lovely new leadership indeed, Mr. Lightwood. However,” Magnus teases, voice drifting from the open door as they stumble together towards privacy. “Some of my services require special attention from the Head of this Institution and I regret to inform you these needs have been neglected under your recent predecessors.”

“In that case, please allow me to assure you, Mr. Bane. You will receive any and all special attention you desire from the Head this Institute so long as I’m in charge…” Alec’s voice trails off as the door swings shut with a swish of blue magic. Smiling, Underhill walks past the office with his report still in hand, certain that his boss doesn’t want this particular meeting interrupted.

--

Thank you for reading!!! #saveshadowhunters

Previous Missing Scenes:

2.03 - Lost and Found

2.06 - Getaway

2.07/8 - A Place To Belong

2.08/9 - Choice

2.10 - The Outlook at Dawn +  (Part #2)

2.12 - Console

2.13 - Amends

2.15 - Secured

2.20 - Recovered

[purple-haired-faerie]

Faerie AU: Learning about Papa

More on the AU from @cunning-and-cool, I hope you liked it!

Alessa was 7, and Miach was 5, and had been living with Nene for three years. She wanted to give them the best chance at life, and was making sure that they were getting a good education. Even at their young age, they had already developed their own attitudes to learning. Alessa was quite, soaking all the information that was given to her and never really asked any questions. She also had a certain weariness to the world and Nene was still making up her mind if this was a good or a bad thing. Miach on the other hand was a very curious child with a big heart. He asked questions and always wanted to see the best in everyone and everything, which made Nene smile.

She was giving the children a brief explanation of all the races that they shared the world with in a way that they would understand. She didn’t give them too many details, to prevent boggling their tiny minds but enough to serve them well until they were older and could understand the bigger details. She also didn’t want to scare them and give them nightmares. “You have faeries, of the fair folk. Many of them live in either the Seelie Court with the Queen or Unseelie Court with the King” Nene started. “We live in the Seelie Court don’t we Aunty Nene?” Miach asked with all the enthusiasm of a small child. “Yes Miach we do” she confirmed. “Faeries are hurt by cold Iron, and do not have the ability to lie. They are not forced to tell the truth if asked a question, but they cannot something that is not true” Nene continued. Miach had another question “how can we?” he asked, which was a fair enough question.

“By not giving an answer. If I asked you for your name, and you did not give me your name, you couldn’t give me a wrong name, but you could avoid the question. You might ask me why you ought to give me your name, for example” Nene explained, and this time, it was Alessa who asked the question, rather than her brother. “But Miach and I can lie. We could give a wrong name” she said, and Miach nodded in agreement with his sister. Nene knew she would have to have a conversation with the children about their father at some point, but this was not how she imagined the conversation to start.

“That is because you are only half-fae. Your Mama was a full fae, like me, but your Papa was a Shadowhunter” Nene said. Of course the children had heard of the Nephilim, there wasn’t a Downworlder who didn’t know of their existence. “Why did he leave? Did he not love us?” Alessa asked. Even for a young child, Alessa had never been sure of the Shadowhuters, but Miach had always been curious about them. “Of course he did Alessa. You are both very easy to love. He spent time here, with his brother, as part of a bargain. Your Papa, Andrew met your Mama and he had a good time whilst here in the Seelie Court but his brother….didn’t. Once he leant what happened to his brother Arthur, your Papa left Seelie as soon as the bargain was over, out of loyalty to him. He didn’t want to leave you both but he believed you would have a good life” she explained.

“I have heard that he married another Shadowhunter, and they recently had a baby together, a son they called Julian” Nene said, and Miach seemed delighted on hearing that he had a brother, and was practically bouncing in his seat. “He’s your half-brother Miach, not your full brother” Nene said, not wanting him to get ahead of himself, and she could see the confusion on his face. “Well, Alessa is your full sister, as you both have the same Mama and Papa. But you only have the same Papa as Julian, who has a different Mama to you” Nene explained. She could tell Miach had more questions, but decided that they would for another conversation when she was alone with her Nephew. Seeing the discomfort on Alessa’s face, she thought it be best to return to the lesson they had started.

[asflowersfade]

Scribble-Doodle: This Slight Matter of Treason

A Malec story. Alec’s recalled back to Idris to answer for a decision he made. It doesn’t look good.

Alec stays over that night. They have a fantastic dinner - delivered directly from Paris, courtesy of Magnus’ portal - and then they make love, passionate, loving and sweet, lingering kisses and roaming hands… tinged with desperation, as Magnus notices.

“Everything okay?” he asks with brows slightly furrowed.

They’re lying side by side, foreheads almost touching, and Alec’s staring at him, his fingers gently running across Magnus’ nose and his lips and his chin down to his collarbone and then lower and they stop over his heart where Alec presses his hand against Magnus’ skin to feel his heart beating.

“Alexander?” Magnus asks again, gentler this time.

“I’m being recalled back to Alicante,” Alec whispers, dropping his eyes to his hand, still pressed against Magnus’ chest. “I’m leaving tomorrow morning.”

Magnus freezes. “Why?” he asks guardedly because something’s obviously wrong, based on Alec’s behavior throughout the evening. If Magnus didn’t know better, he would say that Alec’s been trying to make good memories, etch them into this mind.

“Remember what I told you about what would happen if the Clave ever found out that I lied to them about Luke and his attempted murder of Valentine?” Alec says quietly, still not looking Magnus in the eyes.

Magnus… is not sure. Though he isn’t proud of it, he has to admit, at least to himself, that he didn’t exactly listen to what Alec was saying that day. He does remember that Alec wasn’t sure what he should do about Luke and that he was talking about… something but it was mostly white noise to Magnus because his mind was elsewhere at the time.

Still, he responds, “Yes,” though he cringes a little inwardly.

Alec sighs and curls his hand into a fist, thumping it gently against Magnus’ chest. “Well, the Clave did find out. I don’t know how. It must’ve been one of my people, one of the Shadowhunters at the Institute, who told on me. And here I thought I was actually getting somewhere with them,” he adds in a voice full of hurt and betrayal.

Magnus’ heart breaks a little. “Oh, Alexander,” he whispers smoothing Alec’s hair off his forehead.

When he lets his palm rest against Alec’s cheek, Alec closes his eyes and leans into the touch for a moment. Then he sighs again and when he opens his eyes, he finally looks straight at Magnus - who doesn’t like the bleakness in his expression.

“After the discovery of Malachi’s betrayal, Inquisitor Herondale imposed a zero tolerance policy. No more secrets, no more missteps will be tolerated. And I got caught up in the net.” He shakes his head, his stubble rasping against the pillow. “There were a lot of people who were just waiting for me to fail - Imogen the first among them - and now they’ll get their chance to get rid of me.”

Magnus scoots a little closer. “No,” he states firmly. “They can’t take the Institute away from you for trying to maintain peace!”

Alec blinks at him. “Magnus, I’ll be lucky if they just demote me! As I told you, I could be exiled, de-runed for what I did! It’s treason,” he points out harshly.

Breath catches in Magnus’ throat. Alec told him that? Magnus’ thoughts were so scattered back then, his mind slipping and sliding back into the past at the most inopportune times. Did he really miss that? He remembers telling Alec that he would support any decision that Alec made but before that… blank.

Fortunately, Alec doesn’t notice Magnus’ shock because he curls up against Magnus who turns onto his back, allowing Alec to rest against his chest. Alec throws an arm across Magnus’ stomach and pulls him close.

“What can I do?” Magnus asks, carding his fingers through Alec’s unruly hair.

“Nothing,” Alec whispers, lips sliding across Magnus’ skin as he speaks. “I’ll have to see what the Clave knows and how far they want to take it. Maybe I’ll find a way to get out of it since we did gain Luke’s support against the Seelie Queen in the end, after what she did to Maia.”

Magnus is mulling it over, his mind working feverishly. “You could always use what she tried to do to Valentine against her,” he suggests, though he would rather not think about that, ever, considering it was him sitting in that chair and not Valentine.

Alec rubs his stubbled cheek against Magnus’ chest; it tickles a little. “I would rather not do that if I can avoid it. It’s dangerous to remind those in charge that you know their secrets. I could end up exonerated but ‘accidentally’ drop into limbo portalling back home.”

Magnus pauses. He has no illusions about high-ranking Clave representatives, but surely Imogen Herondale wouldn’t go that far. Would she? He states it out loud.

Lifting his head from Magnus chest, Alec looks at him and raises his eyebrows. “She is the longest serving Inquisitor we’ve ever had, Magnus. Scrupulous, that woman is not.”

Frowning, Magnus says, “Well, in that case, once you’ve successfully beaten her, I’ll personally portal you back home. Just to be sure.”

With a small smile, Alec rests his head back against Magnus’ chest. “You’re awfully certain that I’ll beat her.”

“I saw you stand up against the Seelie Queen, Alexander,” Magnus points out, petting his lover.

“Yeah, well, and how did that turn out?” Alec reminds him and Magnus winces inwardly.

With a deep sigh, Alec admits heavily, “Sometimes I think I’m just not made for this. Maybe it would be better if someone else were put in charge because so far, I’ve only managed to make a big mess of things.”

Magnus frowns and pulls on Alec’s hair a little. “That’s not true and you know it. If you go in with this attitude tomorrow, you’ve already half-lost the battle!”

Alec just hmms softly.

“Do the others know?” Magnus asks quietly after a moment.

“Just Izzy,” Alec responds. “I didn’t want Jace to know, he would’ve insisted on going with me and talking to Imogen but I don’t want him there. If it goes south, I need him far away, untouched by this, so that Imogen can return the Institute to him without going back on her own policy. Now that Valentine’s gone and Jace’s truly free, I think he’ll become an excellent leader.”

Magnus swallows hard. He doesn’t even want to think about this “going south,” about Alec being tried for treason. If it came to that, if Alec were exiled, Magnus wouldn’t hesitate to take him in, to care for him and protect him but… Magnus was present at a de-runing once and it’s the very last thing he would want his lover to go through, that agony. 

“When’s the hearing?” Magnus asks quietly, running his knuckles up and down Alec’s naked spine.

Alec takes a deep breath. “Tomorrow at ten in the Hall of Accords in Alicante. If everything goes well, I should be home for dinner. If not…” He lets his voice trail off.

“It will,” Magnus states firmly and he pulls Alec up, lifting his chin with a finger to make him look Magnus straight in the eyes. “You did the right thing when you let Luke go, Alexander. You did the right thing. You knew the political repercussions Luke’s arrest would have better than anyone else. It’s not something that can be decided from a country away, without the knowledge of the local politics. And you can and will make them understand that!”

Alec stares at him for a long moment, then a soft smile spreads across his lips and he leans down to kiss Magnus with all the love he has for him.

And the next morning, when Magnus kisses Alec goodbye and whispers “I love you” and “good luck” and “I’ll be waiting for your message to bring you home” in his ear and watches him go, he does it with all the conviction that his lover will be back that night and they’ll celebrate and make love again and they’ll be happy.

But if not, if the Clave rules against Alexander… well, then Magnus will have to go and get him. He’s sure that Jace and Isabelle will gladly help. It doesn’t hurt to have a back-up plan. Just in case.

[beautifulbelief821]

Order of 2x18 Malec scenes

Y’all, I can’t stop thinking about this, so here’s my predicted order for next week’s episode of Malec scenes.

1. Alec arrives at apt to talk and apologize/clarify. Since then, Magnus has calmed down, but he still feels the need to speak with the Queen and process the feelings of betrayal. Magnus tells Alec about he and Luke going to the Queen soon. He agrees to report back to Alec after the Court. 

2. Luke and Magnus go to Seelie Court. Queen presents plan to go against the Clave, and, instead, hunt Val/Seb at their own desire, and perhaps, in the end, destroy the Clave or at least fight against them. Magnus receives flower--my guess is it is supposed to, maybe, wilt or change color when he needs to make his decision--or when it realizes that he’s made up his mind. Maybe Luke receives one as well? A flower? 

3. Magnus goes to see Alec at Institute. Magnus talks about needing time* on his own to think about his “decisions”, what the Queen said, and process what Alec did. Alec desperately tries to reassure him with “I love you”, but then reluctantly agrees to give him time and space to think and process. This would obviously be upsetting for Alec and Magnus both, thus the tears in their eyes make sense, but Alec will ultimately understand that Magnus needs time alone to think about where he stands in this complicated war--he needs to remove himself from just feeling for Alec, and instead, look at the big picture. This has to happen after the Court because Magnus is wearing the flower as he’s walking away from Alec. This has to happen, also, before the Max/comfort scene because there’s no way in hell Magnus would be like, “oh, your brother is dead/injured/in danger, but I need some time alone right now” and then peace out. 

4. At his apt, whilst I am sure drinking the required whiskey or 5 and thinking of his decisions, Magnus has flashbacks of he and Alec together--maybe when he realized that he loved him? He then makes his decision not to side with Queen’s quest against the Clave, and instead fight beside Alec, whom he believes will help protest the warlocks as well. He realizes his decision when, perhaps, the flower turns a certain color--indicating him deciding to not revolt against the Clave.

5. He leaves to go tell Alec, but when he arrives at the Institute, he realizes something has happened, and he has to comfort Alec after something unexpected happens to Max.

*Here’s why I think Magnus will request time on his own, and not a break up, to process things (even though this time will only last a few hours): Magnus has been through hell and back in the past few episodes--he hasn’t really had time to process where he stands in all of this conflict, or how the body-swap fully impacted his opinions. It is only natural that he request a brief time to think. Space and time to think are completely natural things to request in any relationship, and a request for these two things does not mean an end. In the books, with Malec, Alec betrays Magnus by lying to him. In a rather hasty way, Magnus breaks up with Alec, when, in reality, they both just needed time; eventually, they both realize that they can’t be apart and that they simply have things to work through. I am not saying they are going to break up--they won’t--but, as a reflection of the book, the show will acknowledge this, but instead of a break up, we get a healthier alternative that all healthy couples need at some point: time to process and think through their own thoughts before making a decision together. In doing so, the show will do what it’s been doing best with Malec and still keep the essence of the books, but make them healthier and more relevant to a modern audience. Therefore, we get an expressed need for space and time before coming back together, instead of a break up, which shows how show Malec, in all of its glorious healthiness, will grow stronger together--both separately and together--by working through conflict as opposed to simply ending things. And then they will fight a fucking dragon together. 

Because, after all, relationships take effort, right? And we are all for effort. 

[heymessyjessie-blog]

Chimera

I have been reading a whole lot of fanfiction across the net, and i have fallen in love with a lot of stories and writers that it inspired me to write my own.

Here is my first and hopefully not my last.. I would like to dedicate this one to @vesperlionheart because i simply adore you and i am a big fan. This story may remind you of Pompeii because of the fantasy set-up.. (I do love that series.)

And as a reference i did read The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare way way back, there are similar themes.

And of course, disclaimer, i do not own Naruto or any of its characters.

—-

CHIMERA- a thing that is hoped or wished for but in fact is illusory or impossible to achieve.

She strode across the hotel room wearing nothing but gold jewelries and enchanted charms strewn across her body. Her red dress was lying on the floor more neglected than ever. She walked over near the windows, moonlight casting reverently on her. She sat down the chair, her legs crossed and chin propped on the knuckles of her hand. A mischievous grin that spelled trouble was plastered on her face. She was beautiful and enticing without even trying.

“Do you want to watch the sunrise with me darling? I’m pretty sure we could make ourselves busy as we wait for a few more hours..” She was mocking him. She knew their hotel room was located in the east and would have a pretty direct view of the sun come morning.

He smirked and nodded his usual reply “Hn.” It was laced with amusement and Sakura can’t help but chuckle at her own joke.

“Itachi, I was trying to be romantic and that’s all you ever say?” She feigned hurt but seriously, she wanted to elicit more reaction from him. It didn’t really surprise her that it didn’t irk him. She has yet to be on his bad side.

“You consider seeing your lover burned to ashes romantic, Sakura? Just ask of it and I could simply make you see it through my Tsukiyomi.” He replied nonchalantly.

“Is it in your power to make me see all my lovers burn to ashes then?” Her emerald eyes shone with dark glee. Oh she really wants to get a reaction from him…

His face was stoic as ever but his chest suddenly constricted with a pang of jealousy. She definitely noticed despite his mask. She was like shark smelling blood, more ferocious when enticed.

“What’s the matter, Itachi-kun?” She purposely drawled out his name. “I’m pretty sure you’re familiar with most of them, having been in the same coven and clan after all… Oh and how is your younger brother? Is he still looking for me? I do miss him…”

All of a sudden, he was towering over her. His arms were gripping the armrests of her chair, caging her possessively. His body hunched over as his face were inches away from her, gaze steady with hunger and longing. “Am i not good enough?” Itachi had always been the sensitive and melodramatic one but she’s heard that line more than once.

“That’s what Madara and Sasuke-kun said. When will you understand that it is simply in my nature to have you enamored with me? You’re all so wise and intelligent but you can’t seem to grasp my point.” Her playful tone was now replaced with a hard icy tone.

“And when will you grasp our point, my queen?” It surprised her that he addressed that point as a collective one, shared among themselves.

“This chase has been going on for far too long, I’m saving you the trouble of spending the lifetime in this complicated arrangement. Consider this cautionary advice as an act of kindness. It is rare for the Seelie Queen to be honest… and brutally frank.” It is true, the Seelie Queen has always been known to be mischievous, playful and sometimes deceiving. However, underneath that reputation, she did have a kind heart. The string of men currently vying for her love and attention was causing more chaos than fun. She has since decided to make them see that she was a dangerous fire to be playing with.

“Uchiha men are jealous, but we’re willing to share when it need be. I’m pretty sure, we aren’t your greatest worry. I have heard news of chaos stirring because of a certain Seelie Queen’s beauty and perfection. I understand why you feel the need to give your cautionary advice and be brutally honest… But I assure you, we would never behave in such way and cause you trouble… ”

“Madara is on his way to wreak more havoc than pleasure. Don’t be so sure of your clan being less troublesome.” Itachi flinched at having heard the words “Madara” and “pleasure” together in the same sentence but he understood that Sakura just meant Madara could be out of line if not dealt with.

“I will make sure that my coven doesn’t do anything foolish when it comes to matters involving you, my queen.” He kisses her lips to seal the argument. He kisses gently at first and then paces hungrily. He was still careful of not unleashing his fangs. He has tasted her before and it drove him near to insanity. She was too delicious with her unique golden noble blood. It made him intoxicated and high, his ultimate bliss. He wouldn’t do it now though, just to prove his point about being in control and rational. Some other time he would do so, just ravage her body and her blood, and he wouldn’t care if he lost his sanity then.

He carried her off and brought her to the bed. Before there lips met, Sakura whispered “And if it is no longer within your power, remember what I can do myself. It wouldn’t matter if you and your men are my favorite.”

Despite the threat, he gave that awfully sexy smirk again and breathed into her ears, “Yes, my love. I know you can destroy worlds with a flick of your finger. It makes me all the more obsessed with you, to be honest.”

Sakura felt lighthearted once again. After several lifetimes of being together, Itachi just knew the words to make the Seelie Queen giggle like a girl. She was powerful, innocent, mischievous, graceful and fiesty all rolled into one. However complicated she really is, Itachi saw through her all. And quite frankly, he just loves her all the more for it. Sakura realizes that the perks of having an Inner self just proves to be more useful than annoying, in more ways than one.

“Before anything else, you should close the windows.” She whispers seductively which elicits a low groan from him.

“Oh, i thought you wanted to see me burn?” He smirks, this time mocking her with her previous statement.

“I change my mind. I’d rather we burn together in the flames of desire.” She knew she sounded cheesy, but Itachi was amused.

“How about the Tsukiyomi then?” He hints at his desire to see all her other lovers burn. Sadistic really, considering his clansmen were part of the Queen’s long list of suitors.

“No matter how psychotic you could be, I’m sure you wouldn’t really want to conjure the image of your brother burning.” She just wants to rile him up and remind him of his foolish brother who was just as equally obsessed with her as he is.

“I’ve done far more worse things in reality.” It was true, but he didn’t need to remind her of committing mass murder once in his human lifetime.

“Hmm.. Anyway, like i said, I do miss Sasuke-kun, I’d like to summon him soon. Do you mind having a ménage-a-trois?” She cocked her head and asked nonchalantly.

“You already know I’m against it but who am I to deny the Seelie Queen of such requests if you demand of it?” Itachi sighed, he was frustrated now. “I know of my place my Queen. I also wouldn’t want you disappearing on me for centuries for being too possessive of you… I would have preferred having you exclusively, but until then, All i could do is please and enamor you until I could have you all to myself.” His eyes bore into her as if persuading her to finally become solely his.

She did like Itachi, loved him even but she had to constantly push her feelings away by reminding herself she is the Seelie Queen and it is simply in her nature to have creatures fall in love with her. She is first and foremost a queen of the the seelie court who runs half of the fae kingdom. She could never simply be a woman who would be bothered with romance. She instead, tries to play along with her suitors and have fun once in a while. Sometimes however, she would enjoy tormenting them and break their hearts by disappearing. She did run away from Itachi’s younger brother for centuries…

“Oh Itachi… Maybe in another reality, I could be yours and only yours.” She spoke with distant longing in her voice, a tone she rarely used. It sounded more… human of her.

“We’ll have to wait for that other reality then… Even if it takes an eternity.”