#but aside from that i actually quite enjoyed the characters and story. and not all supports are great but some are AMAZING

[mercaque]

The Old Guard 2 Thoughts

I liked quite a few elements and didn’t completely hate the lore changes, but I hate the poor communication trope that powered a significant subplot.

I liked:

QUYNH. Veronica Ngo’s performance alone was worth seeing the movie for. Her chemistry with Charlize Theron is flawless.

Henry Golding’s performance was also good. The “remember the new guy” trope often annoys me, but I liked him enough that it didn’t here.

The “memory lane” sequence was transcendent. A beautiful bit of storytelling and a sense of Andy’s headspace.

The fights. Excellent choreography particularly in all of Andy’s fights.

Joe and Nicky’s tiff about Booker. For me their different stances made sense with their characters. Joe’s anger burns hotter but also burns out more quickly, while Nicky is quieter but more immovable.

I have problems with Booker’s subplot, but Matthias Schoenarts gave a fantastic performance. I also thought the “expiration date” conversation was excellent. That was the sort of philosophical question I enjoyed about the first movie.

Joe kicking that guy onto Nicky’s sword.

I didn’t hate:

The concept of an “immortal killer” or the ability to “transfer” immortality. I did not love HOW this was implemented in the story (see below) or the blatant retconning. But if they were going to go further into the “how” of immortality, I can live with these ideas.

The idea of Booker finally getting his wish to die. As with the above, I do not love HOW this was done, to put it mildly. But as a concept, it makes sense. Booker wanting to lose his immortality is a consistent element of his character. He does not want this. No matter how much meaning others may find in their immortal lives, he simply does not. I think it’s valid storytelling that at least one of the immortals is just never going to be on board with it. That said…

I hated:

…HOW Booker went about losing his immortality. What.

That he did it by deception was so fucking cruel to Nile and Andy, and showed that he hadn’t learned a damn thing in his exile. I came away thinking “y’all should have listened to Nicky.”

Given his actions in the last movie, I can accept that Booker would be selfish enough to do it the way he did (even if I think it was a missed chance for some character growth). But why didn’t Tuah step in to inform Nile? Why not tell her first? If his character was intended to be the sort of person who would allow her to unwittingly kill fellow immortals, the set-up was incredibly poor. Booker asked him to promise not to tell, but I see no reason why Tuah should have agreed to that promise.

It ended up as the classic “the story would be over in 5 minutes if characters sensibly shared information with each other” trope. Lazy and unsatisfying storytelling, when it didn’t need to be.

Not telling Nile deprived her of a good story. Let Booker ASK and make his case for surrendering his immortality! Give us that scene, let Nile navigate that moral dilemma, give her some actual conflict within the immortal family. Follow up on the connection their characters established in the first film! Instead of skirting around that to power the plot, they should have leaned in and HAD that conversation. I think the storyline would have been much more forgivable.

Aside from the matter of Booker, not telling Nile basically cut her out of her own story. She was never given the chance to grapple with what she had unknowingly done to Andy or what she had the potential to do to her other family members. Imagine how much more tense that fight with Quynh might have been if she were desperately trying NOT to permanently harm her?

On a different and lesser note, Joe and Nicky were pretty relegated to the background/kidnapping victim. There were some decent moments with them, but they felt pretty disconnected from everything else going on. Would have loved to see more of their reactions re: Quynh.

All in all, the 30% or whatever it is now on RT is a much lower score than I would give this movie. The stuff I liked was worth seeing it for. But the contrivances that undercut Nile’s story were REALLY bad and unnecessarily so.

[yandere-romanticaa]

Seen the request, so I shall deliver. Could you pls write a drabble or hcs of a yandere sunday with an isekaied reader?

Good timing because I'm actually planning a non yan isekai fic for him, I wonder if you saw that post. Here it is in case you haven't.

Sincerest apologies if this isn't the best, this fic is 100% emotionally charged by my obsession with him and frankly with a little bit of a high for passing a tricky exam. This is a treat for myself.

EDIT: Please check out this wonderful comic that @danijaci made me based off this fic!! 😭🫶

Picking up the cup from the fine oak table, you gazed towards the eerie galaxy before you, hundreds upon thousands of stars giving you a constant reminder of just how far from home you truly were. Taking a sip from the little porcelain cup you could not help but to hum in delight, the soft notes of the tea soothing your nerves ever so lightly as you pretended to ignore the heavy gaze which lingered at the back of your head.

Even from this distance, it was easy to tell that Sunday was eager to approach you. Still, he kept his distance and made a silent offering in the form of the very tea you drank at the moment.

Anything is better than Himeko's coffee but you were never going privy her to that.

In a not so distant past, all of this was nothing but fiction. The Express, the story, the characters - it was all nothing more but fiction, something to pass the time as your days went on and on, the same monotony repeating each and every day.

It was hard to not think about your friends and family, what sane person would not? Lord knows how they must be feeling right now, worried sick out of their minds with indescribable sorrow. In their eyes you had merely vanished, not a single trace to be found. For all they knew you could have been left for dead in a ditch somewhere, beaten, bloodied and broken, never to see the light again or if they were even more inclined to be morbid, you had succumbed to a fate worse than death. Death at the very least grants you finality, that all is over regardless of what happened moments prior.

But that was simply not the case for you.

Here you were, lounging about in a comfortable chair as you pondered on your old life while enjoying tiny little luxuries, far away where none of your loved ones could reach you. However, life was funny sometimes because it had some fun games in store.

Sunday was very kind upon arrival. He made sure to always be there for you, always checking up on you, always there to keep you company. You were already smitten with him but now to actually witness him in the flesh was just... Indescribable. You got along like a house on fire, so much so that the crew liked to tease that you ought to just get a room. Sunday, ever the gentleman, would just brush their words aside and assure you to not take their playful little jabs to heart.

You wouldn't say anything, resorting to merely giving him a smile but not because of what he said but rather of what he did not - never once did he actually shut down those perverse accusations. Never, not even once did he deny them.

He became an emotional crutch, someone to whom you would come running to when things got tough and he would always welcome you with open arms. Sunday would hold you tenderly, his serene voice dripping with honey along with a tender drop of ecstasy, for his excitement with holding you would just show itself sometimes. His grip would be too tight at certain moments, never quite ready to let you leave. His hugs were warm and comforting, he always smelled so good too. He smelled like kindness and sweet wildflowers, always lulling you back to him no matter the time. In dark corners and perhaps even under the watchful eyes of the crew, Sunday would wrap his scarf around your head, securing the soft fabric in order to provide you with a sense of comfort.

It was humiliating just how much you would try to inhale his scent as much as possible. You wanted it etched deep inside your memory, you wished for it to linger on your very soul and for it to follow you everywhere you went, sticking to your being like tar. The fabric of the scarf would muffle your ears a little but someone was always chatting in the background. Be it March bickering with Dan Heng, Mr Yang scolding someone for doing something they were not supposed to, or just Conductor Pom Pom trying to give a speech, all of it was irrelevant.

You were ready to kill whoever would try to pry you away from sweet Sunday. That thought came often which had left you worried - just what kind of person had you become? Regardless, you kept your mouth shut and had no plans of sharing such violent sentiments with anyone, particularly not to the one you held so dear.

When it was time to part for the evening you would bid the crew farewell and wished them a good night. You always made sure to take a few extra seconds with Sunday, just to ease your aching soul. He would tell you to sleep well and would see you in the morning, ready to take on any endeavor that crossed your paths.

As everyone parted ways, Sunday would wander off somewhere dark and distant, somewhere no one could see nor hear him. He would fall to his knees and clutch his chest in agony, fat tears streaming down his face as he did everything he possibly could to steady his raging heart. In a rush he would reach for the scarf which clung around his neck, his grip tighter than iron as he would bring it close to his nose. Taking a large, deep breath, Sunday was greeted by your familiar scent which would promptly calm his poor heart.

He sometimes wondered if his heart would start bleeding from the pain due to the sheer intensity of his emotions.

This was wrong, everything about this was not right and it hurt. Sunday was obviously ill but he had no clue on how to fight this... This emotion, this white hot feeling of need whenever you stood by his side. He started to choke on the air around him and fell into an abrupt coughing fit but even then, he could bring himself to remove the scarf from the lower part of his face.

Sunday wept and sobbed, filthy snot coming out from his nose but he could not handle that now. He needed you, Oh Heavenly Aeons, how he needed you. However was he going to tell you how he felt? How, oh how was he going to express the sheer magnitude of his true thoughts? He would scare you off, he was sure of it.

Even with this pain, even with these clipped wings and bleeding heart, Sunday had never felt so alive, so harrowingly present in the moment whenever he was with you.

Perhaps, he was doing himself a kindness by just letting you be. Drink your tea, be at peace.

He can always just make you another cup if you so desired.

Without knowing, you both haunted each other in the most agonizing way known to mankind and neither was strong enough to face the reality of the situation.

[deldaydreams]

Twisted Wonderland/ Otome AU

Warning: Yandere stuff mentioned, Gn reader. English is not my first language.

Summary: : One day, you opened your eyes and found yourself in Twisted Wonderland. And the task the System gave you is to get one of the lead characters love meter to 100% by the end of the main story and reach their happy ending.

Parts : rules , 1 , 2 , 4

Azul Ashengrotto

Cunning, intelligent, Octavinelle dorm head Azul Ashengrotto. If you are going to choose the Azul route, I should mention that even if you meet Azul before the main story or during the main story, this will not affect your love meter much. In other words, you will start from scratch anyway. While the events in the main story are happening, your love meter will increase, although not much. Azul will like the troubled facial expressions you have while trying to help your friends. Especially the worried facial expression you put on when you make a deal with him is his favorite.

Of course, you will fall into minuses with Overblot, but don't worry, it will be quite easy for you to approach him after Overblot. He will not approach you with his usual businessman expression. Regular visits and conversations will gradually increase your love meter, and you will become Azul's special customer who is regularly expected. Things like extra desserts or drinks from the establishment are now natural for you.

Your time with Azul is usually spent at the Monstro Lounge. He regularly invites you to the Monstro Lounge to try new menus. Although he claims that he only uses you as a test subject to try out new menus, the twins know the truth and make fun of Azul about it. However, they still help Azul to advance your relationship as his Wingmen, in other words, they help him in their own way.

You chat while he brings you new menus to try. Although your conversations are usually about your daily life, Azul likes to listen to you. These conversations allow him to learn about you. He also likes you to listen to him carefully.

Azul wants to be perfect in your eyes. What happened in the Overblot incident makes him feel bad, but this perfect male impression is usually ruined by the twins and his mother. Aside from the twins talking about their old memories, he never left you alone with his mother after his mother showed you his childhood and baby photos.

In Dark mode this Octopus make sure that you wouldn’t notice anything . His repressed insecure personality eats him up. What if you find someone better than him? What if you leave him? What if you are happier without him? These thoughts eat him up inside. While he plays the perfect lover to you, he makes plans to eliminate the people he sees as rivals in the background, and you can be sure that the twins will help him in this regard. Azul does not interfere with you physically, at least not to a certain extent. He usually plays mind games with you. The contract offers she normally makes as a joke become more frequent, the only difference is that if you accept thinking it is just a joke, you will fall into his hands. And once your signature falls into Azul's hands, you will never be able to escape from him ever .

Jade leech

Jade Leech, the vice dorm leader of Octavielle who hides his true nature under the mask of a gentleman. First of all, you have attracted Jade's attention since the beginning of the story. Especially after Azul's Overblot, his interest in you will increase considerably. A person without magic, from another world... How interesting. After the third book, your encounters with Jade will increase.

First of all, I have to say that this eel is an open sadist. In other words, he enjoys doing activities that will annoy you a lot during the day. Random pranks that scare you will happen quite often. For example, last week, he scared you about the poisonous mushroom in the food he served you, then he joked and explained that he actually made you eat a safe mushroom that looked like it. In his defense, the facial expression you make when you are scared and in a difficult situation is very cute. He also tells you his memories and stories about his life under the sea frequently. Especially the ones that will scare you. I advise you not to trust this guy too much.

Your time with Jade is usually spent at the Monstro Lounge due to his work. He spoils you with free menus. He likes you to talk about your day while eating. Apart from that, he tries to include you in his club activities. If you participate in club activities, your love meter will increase, but you should be prepared for the non-stop mountain hiking and Jade's non-stop chatter all day long.

It is very difficult to notice Jade in dark mode. This guy is a master at hiding his feelings. However, it is possible to notice if you pay attention to his word choices. Jade does not wish you direct harm as much as possible. He wants you to come to him on your own will.

Unfortunate events suddenly happen to those around you. The seriousness of these events increases as time goes by. In addition, rumors emerge about you and even bullying can also happen . If you are still not completely devoted to him, he may push you to make a deal with Azul. If you still continue to be stubborn despite this, Jade will resort to brute force, even if he “does not want” to. He will confess to you that he is responsible for everything that happens to you. And he will openly threaten you. In short, he will get what he wants in one way or another.

Floyd Leech

Floyd Leech, a student of Octavinelle, who is the opposite of his brother who is like an unknown deep ocean but also quite similar to him . Just like to his brother, you are very interesting to Floyd, even if the reasons are not the same.

Floyd's route is a complete Russian roulette. There will be sudden drops and increases until the love meter reaches 30%-40%. For this reason, you should always be alert about Floyd's mood states.

I would like to say that your relationship with Floyd will be a little tiring. This guy will drag you behind him wherever he goes. It doesn't matter if you have other things to do or not, you should be by his side. Lots of hugs (squeezes) and PDA. Just like Jade, this eel will also play not so funny pranks on you. In the simplest way, whenever he wants you to swim with him, he drowns you every time. Of course, unlike his brother, he doesn't always do this on purpose. At least he is honest.

After your love meter exceeds 30%-40%, that is, after it reaches a stable position, Floyd, just like Jade, will introduce you to his family at the first opportunity. So I recommend you to be prepared.

You will spend most of your free time with Floyd, whether you like it or not. He likes you to watch him and cheer him on at club activities. Apart from that, he wants you to do swimming and similar activities with him, but you learned your lesson. Apart from that, Floyd is a talkative person. He will tell you various stories about the undersea life.

As I said, Floyd's route is like a wavy sea, so you should be on the alert at all times. If Floyd feels uncomfortable about something or experiences a situation that will shake him, he can easily enter dark mode. The possessive nature of this leech twin is a complete nightmare when he enters dark mode. He immediately becomes suspicious at the slightest thing, corners you and questions you. Since he is more nervous and suspicious than normal, he can be a little aggressive towards those around you, and unlike Jade, he does not hide it. The advice is to find the reason why he is in this situation as soon as possible, because in dark mode, you will not only deal with Floyd but also Jade. With the help of Jade and Azul, you will be in Floyd's hands in a short time.

Tags: @ang3lin3r33

[ihopesocomicask]

So uh, thanks for not killing off your one* disabled character to prove how morally gray the rest of your cast is, or how dark and edgy your plot is.

*Point of fact, thanks for having multiple disabled characters and giving them names and traits other than "is disabled and isn't it sad when they die."

It has been a rough couple of weeks in the talking animal comics sphere. I Hope So has certainly been an oasis, and I am so glad it is back to updating.

"It's been a rough couple of weeks in the talking animals comic sphere." When is it NOT a rough time in the talking animals comics sphere? lol

Not saying there's not good animal comics out there but some really do a good job of being needlessly edgy and dark in exchange for any semblance of good writing.

There's nothing wrong with actually playing into it like you would if you were writing up a horror movie but I'm sure tired of this theme of people trying to clout chase and promote their story as progressive and then it's basically throwing in serious themes with no consideration on how to handle them.

It's just "hey, I covered this serious theme but I'm not going to cover it with any amount of seriousness whatsoever actually: gimmie kudos now!".

Don't even get me started on how there's a misconception that including "adult" themes automatically makes your story mature and sophisticated either. You have early Disney movies that did a great job of appealing to adults without having to include gore or sexual themes to appeal to adults, for example. lol And killing off a disabled character doesn't need to be automatically a bad choice narratively either. It all depends on the kind of narrative you want to deliver.

A woefully dark storyline isn't necessarily a bad thing. There are quite a few movies I enjoy (Fluke being a major example) that are relentlessly heartbreaking and sad. The problem comes from people - like I've just mentioned - thinking that just including minorities experiencing relentless tragedy automatically makes their story compelling escapism on its own when that's not how these things work. If you want to appeal to these minorities, don't use said minorities to simply make people outside of said minority groups feel sad for them before ultimately casting them aside once they've served their purpose.

I appreciate that I rambled a tad here but yeah, just wanted to go over why what you mentioned bothers me too. lol - RJ

[nickfowlerrr]

something good and true - part 3

part one / part two / part four

pairing: mob boss!bucky x reader

warnings (for all parts in whole): 18+ only. domestic violence. retelling of abuse and battery. minor character death mentioned. angst. sweet and protective bucky. fluff. not sure if this qualifies as a slow burn or not 👀 smut. there’s a happy ending! (as per usual)

words: 5.5k

notes: the way almost none of this was in the original draft of what i was planning on posting lol 😂 thank you for your patience as i reworked and added a bunch of stuff to this little mini series of sorts! i hope you like it. feel free to share your thoughts and comments. thank you for reading and as always, reblogs and comments are welcome and so appreciated. enjoy! 🩵

The dinner was lovely, and the company too.

You don’t think you’ve ever had such a simple dish taste quite that good, or had conversations quite that interesting. Bucky really is as much a charmer as he’s been said to be.

He had a lot of questions about you and answered some of your own. Your rapport was easy, though you already expected from your previous conversations at the restaurant that it would be. You don’t know how you lose yourself so easily when you talk with him, and actually, lose isn’t the best word. There’s a kind of ease when you’re talking to him that has you fully being you. Aside from your usual shyness that shows through now and again, you speak with him without hesitation. Like you’re on the same level, though you know you’re nowhere near Bucky’s status and stature.

Still, you have similar outlooks on life, and seem to communicate and think in similar ways. By the time he was driving you home, you had almost completely forgotten about his social status and were in part failing to realize that you indeed had just had dinner with the city’s notorious mob boss.

There were certain things throughout the dinner that did remind you of that fact now and again, though. Not always what he said, but what he wouldn’t…

It was a quiet moment, a lull in your conversation when you decided to just ask. Your dad refused to tell you, and you had all but let it go, until Bucky said what he did about his guys finding Freddy. You don’t know what morbid curiosity was nipping at you, but some odd little part of you wanted to know.

“Can I ask,” you began slowly, unsure you really did want the mental picture, “where you found him?”

He looked at you, and seemed to have a split second of contemplation before he answered quite simply and calmly.

“No.”

You blinked down from his gaze to your plate, wetting your lip out of habit. You were kind of expecting that, but still. You picked up your fork and returned his stare, about to ask him why, when he continued and stopped you before you could question him.

“You don’t need’a know that, doll. You know, your dad probably didn’t tell you for a reason. Wasn’t exactly a pretty find.”

You swallowed the bite you had taken and watched as he took a sip of his drink. You didn’t push any further, and you had a feeling you wouldn’t have gotten much of anywhere if you had.

There were other questions you had asked, too, that he would only give a vague answer to, or evade completely.

“I won’t ever lie to you, sweetheart,” he had said. “But there’s just some things you’re better off not knowing.”

You couldn’t argue with that, and you knew he meant it when he said he wouldn’t lie.

His reputation precedes him, and he’s known to be a man of his word. Granted, those words are usually cold, callous certainties spoken to anyone who’d be dumb enough to try and cross him or do dirty work behind his back. Everyone’s heard the stories.

You’re fortunate that all his words toward you have been the complete opposite. It’s almost funny how safe you find yourself feeling around the man whose name alone struck fear in you just a few months ago. You can’t imagine feeling that way about or around him now.

He drove you home, a little later than you’d expected to be back but you didn’t really mind, and like he always did, he opened the car door for you, helped you out, and walked you to your front door.

You got the niceties out as you stood before him after unlocking your front door, the twinkle in his brilliant blue eyes momentarily holding you captive.

”Sorry I kept you so late,” he apologized.

“No, don’t be,” you shook your head lightly, “It was…good,” you breathed. “Talking with you was good. And the food was good,” you felt yourself on the verge of a ramble but couldn’t stop yourself, “It was-“

“Good?” he cut you off with a playful smirk. You felt your face heat up as your stomach fluttered.

“Yeah,” you smiled demurely, looking down at your feet for a second.

“I’m glad you had a good time,” he said, “so did I.” You looked up to meet his eye again as he continued, “I like spending time with you. Hopefully we can do it again.”

Your eyes widened ever so slightly and you took a breath before forcing yourself to swallow and your tongue to move. “I would like that,” you nodded.

“Good,” he simpered. You bit on your small smile in return. “I’ll be seeing you then.” He reached for your free hand, taking it gently in his as he raised it up to his lips, your breath stuttering as you watched him. He placed a delicate kiss on your hand, his blue eyes meeting your gaze as he did. “Sleep easy, sweetheart,” he said as he lowered your hand, squeezing it just a touch before he took a step back. “And happy Valentine’s Day,” he added as you pushed your door in.

“Happy Valentine’s,” you returned. “Have a good rest of your night.”

He gave you a crooked smile as he backed up further and you found yourself smiling again too as you closed the door and locked it behind yourself. You watched from the peephole as he walked to his car and waited until he pulled away to head to your room to start your nighttime routine.

Sleep came easier than it had in a long while.

-

You woke up in the morning to find a text message from an unsaved number. Unlocking your phone to read it, a giddiness came over you as you read the first sentence and realized who it was from.

Morning, doll. I hope you had a good night. I know it’s early, but call me when you can.

You were a little confused as to why he wanted you to call him, your mind wandering with the possibilities as you got out of bed, but of course you would.

He’d sent the message about an hour ago and it was barely half past 7 now. He must’ve been up really early and a bit of guilt for staying at his house so late nips at you. He’s a busy man and here you are taking up his time.

But, he is the one who asked you to dinner for reasons other than just getting the whole story about Freddy. He said himself that he wanted to have dinner with you, it wasn’t an obligation.

And this is him asking you to call him, not you invading on his morning.

A part of you wants to call right now, feeling like you’ve kept him waiting long enough, but another part of you - a stronger part - wants you to brush your teeth and not deviate from your daily getting readies. You can call him in twenty minutes, you’re sure it’ll be fine.

It’s minutes away from being 8 when you’re done with your brushing and skin care and you still wear your pajamas as you make your way down the hall to the kitchen, your phone in hand. You click on the still unsaved number, making a note to store it after the call. You dial and then put it on speaker as you listen to the usual tone and wait for an answer. It’s not long before you get one.

“Barnes,” his gruff voice comes through your cell. You’ve never heard him sound quite like that before, but you’re not entirely taken aback. This must be the Bucky most people are used to. You nibble on your lip as you grab a clean mug from the cabinet, holding your phone close to you as you multitask.

“Bucky?” you say, curious to see if his tone will change.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he greets, causing a smile to break out on your face at the abrupt change. His voice sounds smoother, and you don’t picture him looking so stoic or angry as you did a second ago. ”Sorry, I didn’t check who was calling before I answered. Been a busy morning.”

“It’s okay,” you ease as you put in a pod for your coffee. “I’m sorry I had you out so late. I didn’t realize you had to be up early, I would’ve tried to leave before.”

“No, don’t worry about it. ‘M used to early mornings. And I wouldn't ’ave wanted you to leave any sooner as it was.”

You smile at his words as your coffee starts to sputter, filling your mug three quarters full.

He continues, “Look, doll, I’m not gonna be around for the next couple days. Have some business to take care of outta town, but I wanted to call you before I got too busy to set something up for next week.”

“Oh,” you say, brows raised.

“I don’t wanna rush you here, sweetheart, so feel free to tell me what you’re thinkin’. If next week is too soon, I can wait… I think I’m just used to seeing you at least once a week now,” he chuckles softly. “And I do wanna see you again - even more now than I usually find myself wanting to, after last night.”

“I think I’m used to seeing you weekly, too,” you smile, laughing lightly. “Next week’s not too soon, I - yeah, I wanna see you too.”

“You free Tuesday?”

“I have a feeling you already know that I am,” you answer, earning a short, huffed laugh from Bucky on the other end.

“I was giving you an out if you wanted it.”

“Well I don’t.” The reply leaves your lips faster than you even realize, but it’s true. ”So, Tuesday?”

“How’s 2?”

“2 works.”

“Great, I’ll pick you up.”

“Okay,” you reply simply, smiling softly down at the mug you’ve set on the counter, still steaming. Bucky sighs, sounding a bit agitated as you hear a car door open in the background.

“Alright, well, as much as I’d like to stay on a little longer, I gotta go, doll.” Your smile falls just slightly as he goes on, “I’ll see you on Tuesday. And if you need anything in the meantime, anything comes up, you call me.”

“Yeah, okay. I will,” you murmur, wrapping your mind around his words and trying to name the feeling they’ve sent through you. “Talk to you later, then,” you trail off softly. “Bye.”

“Bye,” he bids, ending the call right after.

You readjust your hold on the phone and save Bucky to a new contact before setting it down completely.

Tuesday it is.

You take a drink from your mug. Now, what does one wear to a lunch date?

-

It was a long weekend. You spent Saturday not doing much aside from cleaning and catching up on some TV, while Sunday saw you going over to your parent’s for breakfast and then lounging the rest of the day away in the comfort of your own home. Sunday night, though, you received a text from Bucky that had that warm giddy feeling filling your chest, and that familiar fluttering flying in your tummy. It was simple, but so sweet.

Hope you had a good weekend, sweetheart. Was just thinking about you, wanted to wish you a goodnight.

Monday, you had work that evening but spent the earlier part of your day finalizing your outfit. The restaurant was slow but you still ended the night with a nice amount of tips. When you got home you followed your typical routine as normal and just as you were getting into bed, your phone started to ring. Your brows scrunched as you pulled it from where it was charging and upon seeing Bucky’s name on the screen, answered with your heart ticking a little faster despite yourself.

“Hello?” you answered.

“Hey, sweetheart. How are you?”

“I’m good,” you answered a bit trepidatiously. “Why? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” he reassured right away. “I was getting ready for bed and realized I hadn’t confirmed with you for tomorrow. 2 still work for you?”

“Oh,” you breathed a little easier, “yeah, it does… I’m looking forward to it,” you said before biting your lip. Was that silly to say? You wondered briefly before he responded.

“Me too,” he said, and you swore you could hear a hint of a smile in his voice when he spoke. “Sorry I couldn’t call earlier, I got held up with some business.”

“That’s okay, I was at work most of the day, I probably wouldn’t have been able to answer if you had.”

“Right,” he said before you heard what sounded like a water faucet being turned on. “How was your shift?”

You were a little surprised at the question, just not having expected it, but you answered in turn. The conversation lasted a little while as you both talked briefly about your days - all the while you heard what you assumed was Bucky going about his washroom getting ready for bed like he said he had been doing. It was oddly familiar, but not in a bad way. Just, comfortable. The way he spoke to you, like he genuinely cared about what you had to say, about how your day went, it lit something inside you that you don’t think you’ve ever felt before. It was the feeling that you really, truly were cared for. That someone wanted to know about your day, not just because they wanted to get in your pants, but because they were genuinely interested in you.

You went to bed with a smile as Bucky wished you a good night, his low soothing timber reminding you he’d be seeing you tomorrow before you ended the call.

-

You’re dressed and ready for lunch half an hour early, the buzzing excitement you’re trying hard to not let overwhelm you causing you to move faster than you normally do on your days off.

Instead of sitting impatiently on the couch, checking the time every other minute, you decide to get some air and wait out on the porch.

It’s a nice afternoon, a light easy breeze drifting through the cool, sunny day as you sit. The sun is out but it’s still early spring, so not too warm yet. You wear a sundress that hits just above your knees and your pair of walkable, low heeled sandals.

You sit back with a sigh, close your eyes, and take some breaths. The time passes by faster after your eyes fall shut, a warm tiredness washing over you as the sun shines near. You’re like a cat in a window. You manage to rest your eyes for about fifteen minutes before you wake yourself up. You pull your phone from your purse and decide to spend the next fifteen minutes scrolling through your socials.

Your head perks up as you hear a car approaching and you move to see Bucky coming down your way. You stand as he pulls in front of your house and start to make your way to his car as he gets out himself. You meet at the car door as he stands before you.

“Hey, doll,” he greets with a half smile, coming close to kiss your cheek softly, then pulling away and meeting your twinkling eyes as you gaze at him.

“Hi,” you return, sounding a little more affected by the simple gesture than you maybe wanted to.

“You look beautiful as always,” he compliments as he opens the door for you, helping you in.

You respond when he gets back in on his side. “You look really nice,” you admire in turn, earning a charming grin from him as he pulls away from your house.

“Thanks, sweetheart,” he says as you watch him drive. He wears a nice pair of dark trousers, a white tee, and a white, undone short sleeve button up over it. His beard is short and well kept as usual, his dark hair pushed back and kept there with his sunglasses on his head. You see a silver chain peeking out from the collar of his shirt as he mindlessly wets his lips, making sure he’s clear to turn from the stop you’re at. He glances over at you as he turns and catches your stare, his lips tilting up as you smile shyly at being caught.

This is the most casual you’ve ever seen him, and you really like it. He looks incredible in a suit, but there’s something about him right now that feels a little more free, and maybe a little more him.

When Bucky pulls up to the front of the restaurant, there is a valet waiting. A young man opens your door for you and as you get out, Bucky is there to take your hand. He passes off his key to the man he thanks by name before he leads you to the entrance.

“Mr. Barnes,” a pretty blonde greets at the front, “lovely to see you again. Miss.,” she greets you with a smile. “Your table is right this way.”

You don’t even realize your hand is still in his as he guides you to follow behind the woman, not until you get to the seating area. It’s almost instantaneous, all eyes on you and Bucky the second you enter the area. You try not to look at anyone yourself as your hand squeezes Bucky’s a little tighter without thought. He pulls you almost imperceptibly closer to him as you walk hand in hand to the table reserved for him.

He pulls your seat out and pushes you in once you’re sat before taking his own across from you.

“Here are your menus,” she says as she places them before you both, “your server will be right with you, but can I get your drinks started for you in the meantime?”

“I’ll take a water, please,” you answer with a polite smile.

“I’ll have water, as well,” Bucky says. “Thank you.”

“Of course, I’ll get those right away.”

You watch the blonde as she flits away and then feel Bucky’s eyes on you. You turn to him with curious eyes as you grab the menu to pursue. “What?” you say with a light laugh.

He takes a second before he responds, then gives a small shake of his head, “Nothing.” He grabs his own menu and continues as you both look it over, “Have you been here before?”

“Here?” you ask, almost disbelieving the question. “Uh, no,” you answer honestly, “I think it’s just a bit outta my tax bracket,” you joke.

He smiles at you across the table, but really the distance isn’t all that far.

“I have always wanted to eat here, though. I’ve heard good things.”

“Yeah, they have some quality options. And don’t worry about the prices, order whatever you like, please.”

You exchange a glance and an easy smile before you continue browsing the menu.

Not even a minute later do you find yourselves being interrupted.

You’re a little startled at first as a man makes his presence known at the table, you don’t know how you missed him walking up to begin with, but you did. He’s average height, with an athletic build. Medium brown hair, brown eyes, and clean shaven. He wears a suit and tie that speaks to his class and an expensive watch on his wrist. You’ve never seen him before, at least not in person, but he looks oddly familiar. You think he might be that attorney with the commercials that play everywhere all over town. You can’t remember his name. Not that that is your concern at all at the moment. You felt the energy change the instant he got to your table. The man looks a little miffed, but also a little unsure in his actions, as he looks at Bucky. Your eyes are on him as you wait for him to speak.

“Mr. Barnes. David Dunlap,” he introduces himself, “I have been trying to get in contact with you for almost three weeks n-“

Your eyes shoot to Bucky at Dunlap’s abrupt silence and see that he’s raised his hand in pause. There’s a harshness in Bucky’s gaze that cuts through the man before him as he makes him stand in his silence for a long, uncomfortable moment. His face is stone before he speaks, unsettlingly calm, with an edge to it.

“You see the lady sitting right here across from me?”

David nods slowly, changing a glance at you.

“Why don’t you show some respect and start off by apologizing for startling her and interrupting our lunch.”

David’s eyes find you again, a little wider now than they were a second ago. He swallows thickly before he does just that. “Excuse me, miss, for the interruption. I certainly didn't mean to startle you, I’m very sorry.”

You don’t know what to say, you just give a small nod and a tight lipped but polite smile before your eyes find Bucky’s again.

“Great. You do have manners. Now take a second and ask yourself, do I really look like I’m here to do business right now? And even if I were, do you really think it’s a good idea to come approach me the way you just did?” He waits a second for a response he doesn’t get before continuing, “Right. Why don’t you keep using those manners of yours, go back to your table, enjoy your lunch, and continue to wait patiently, like half the other people here, until someone at my organization returns your calls.”

“I understand I’m not the only one trying to reach you, sir,” the man starts again, sounding overly agitated as he turns more toward Bucky, knocking the table on your side a bit as he does. The second you recoil from the bump, just out of surprise at the table moving, Bucky is out of his seat, easily standing taller than Dunlap; his jaw set and his eyes dead on him.

“Step away from the table,” Bucky says. His voice is low and deadly and you can hear his ire as clearly as you can see it in his eyes.

Your gaze is only on Bucky as you find yourself entranced by him.

You sense Dunlap step further away, a fast apology spilling out past his lips.

“Go finish your lunch, tip your server, and stay the hell outta my line of sight while you do it.” His voice remains steady as he speaks clearly, “I’m with company, so I’m bein’ nice, but the next time you forget who you’re talking to when you’re speaking to me, the next time I have to repeat myself,” his warning goes unfinished as Dunlap cuts him off by rushing out another apology - his previous agitation now gone completely in favor of a more submissive, and even scared, tone as he tries to appease the domineering man before him. He leaves quickly, and with an assurance of his understanding as he does.

It’s only then you realize the place had gone silent at the unexpected interaction. There’s not many eyes on you, people know better than to stare right now, but you know they were all fully listening. The silence though is quickly replaced by the return of idle lunch chatter as Bucky sits once more. He fixes his shirt as he does, and meets your enraptured gaze as you watch him. You feel flustered and a little embarrassed by how attractive you actually found that display of dominance and authority.

“I’m sorry about that, sweetheart,” he apologizes.

“Please, don’t be,” you say with quick reassurance, looking into his eyes. “I uhm,” you swallow, hoping he can’t somehow read your thoughts and figure out exactly what it is that you’re thinking, “I thought you shut that down well. But I appreciate the apologies,” you add with a smile. “Yours and his.”

Your waiter approaches with your waters and apologizes themselves for the disturbance you experienced at the hands of another guest. They assure Bucky they’re handling him as well and he won’t be dealing with that again, not that Bucky is worried about it in the slightest. You both place your orders and are thankfully able to continue with your lunch as normal. Or as normal as a lunch date with a mob boss can be. The curious glances and whispers can only be so ignored…

Bucky paid the bill, of course, and you thanked him for lunch as he took your hand and walked you out to his awaiting car.

“I’m sorry again about what happened earlier,” he apologizes when he gets in, your brows furrowing at his words. “Stuff like that doesn’t happen often, but it does happen - now and again.” He begins to drive off but you can tell there’s something more he wants to say, so you wait for him to say it.

“Comes with the job. The life,” he looks at you, a bit pointedly, and you think you know what he’s getting at. “I’m not trying to scare you or make you uncomfortable, I just don’t want you to slip too far into something you don’t really want to be a part of.”

“…Your life?”, you clarify.

He looks at you again and without saying anything, you know his answer is a yes.

“I’m not under any illusions about what it is you do, Bucky; who you are to people, the life you live. If I was uncomfortable, or I didn’t want to be around you, you would know it. And for the record,” you add, “I feel the complete opposite of scared when I’m with you. Like earlier, I… I like that side of you, too.”

He eyes you as he drives and sports a half smirk at your words, “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you smile shyly back.

-

You thought lunch was the only thing on the table today, but when Bucky asked if you wanted to go to the art museum as you came up on it, you were more than happy to say yes. You probably would’ve said yes to anything he suggested, really. You didn’t want to go home and say goodbye so soon.

The museum wasn’t too busy so you really took your time wandering the exhibits, admiring the artwork and sharing your thoughts on certain pieces that really spoke to you.

You knew Bucky was a smart man, but you didn’t know to what extent. He was quite the historian, sharing facts and giving you background on certain artists and historical events you’d never studied before yourself. He seemed a real patron of the humanities and it added another level to him entirely. You thought back to the artwork that adorned the walls of his home and were now more interested than before on why he’d chosen to display the pieces he did. What they meant to him, why he liked them. You wanted to hear his thoughts. Suddenly, you wanted to know his thoughts on everything, really. You could listen to him talk for hours.

Eventually, after walking the whole museum, you made your way back to the entrance and then to the parking garage.

Bucky led you to the car as you walked close to his side. You felt…happy. Genuinely happy. His hand brushed yours as you walked and though the distance to his car was relatively short, he still took your hand in his as he led the rest of the way; helping you in when you reached it.

There was a weird kind of excitement buzzing around you as he drove you home. And along with it, an odd kind of contentment. It all felt so new, and yet so safe.

When Bucky pulled up to your house, around 5:30, he got out to open your door for you, offering you his hand as you moved to stand. You took it with a soft smile and met his ocean blue gaze, “Thank you.” As you began up the way to your front door, you spoke again, “I had a really nice time today, Bucky.”

You were walking awfully slowly, side by side, wanting to spend as much more time with him as you could before you’d call the date officially over with your goodbyes.

“Me too, sweetheart,” he agreed with a simpering smile while he looked at you.

He walked you all the way to your door and as you unlocked it, you had a thought. Turning to face him once again you decided to just ask.

“Do you wanna come in for a drink?”

He takes a breath then released it heavily, “Ah, I wish I could,” he says almost wistfully. “I have a business dinner. Next time,” he assures. It’s not a question, it’s a promise. You’re a little disappointed to have to say bye now, but you understand.

“Okay,” you agree with a demure smile.

“Okay,” he echoes with a lopsided smile of his own.

You both stay standing in front of one another for a long moment, neither of you wanting to leave, and after a second, you unthinkingly let your eyes leave his, trailing down and landing on his lips. You realize instantly just how badly you want to kiss him.

Your eyes flick up to meet his, only to find his gaze on your own lips instead. You think for a second that he might kiss you, but then you see the hesitation, the restraint as he mindlessly wets his lips before biting his own lip gently and letting it go.

You know then why he has yet to kiss you. He doesn’t want to rush you into anything and you’re getting the feeling he’s waiting for you to make the first move, to let him know what it is you want.

You take a breath, mustering up your courage and confidence as you slowly inch closer to him. You don’t think you’ve ever made the first move on anyone before. God, this is kinda nerve wracking…

Bucky is still, not moving as he watches you take a step closer, leaving very little distance between you now.

You look in his eyes and it’s like he can read your mind. You’re breathing just a little heavier now as his eyes float down to your lips once again, telling you it’s what he wants, too.

You angle yourself, tilting to kiss him. Your eyes flutter shut at the contact of his lips on your and it’s less than a second before Bucky is kissing you back. It’s soft, and sweet, and at the same time, so charged. Bucky reaches to hold your face with one hand and gently places the other on your waist as you kiss him a little deeper. Your own hands find their way around his neck, your fingers slipping into his hair as the kiss grows more sensual and you seem to pull each other closer still. You wouldn’t mind staying there with him all night but you have to part to take a breath.

With your nose against his, your eyes still shut as you catch a breath, bodies still close, lips not too far apart, you breathe a quiet question.

“You’re sure you don’t wanna come in?”, you ask, sounding a little drunk off the kiss already as you press your lips to his again, soft once more. You can feel his smirk at your question as he kisses you back before he breaks it with a groan. Your eyes blink open as you watch him.

“You’re killin’ me, doll,” he grouses in jest, pressing his forehead to yours as he holds you to him, his hand gently squeezing the soft curve of your waist before his thumb smooths soothingly over the fabric of your dress. “You know I’m trying to be a gentleman here.”

You can’t help your own soft smile as you apologize with a titter, “I’m sorry.”

He breathes a soft laugh, pulling away from you ever so slightly, “I don't think you are.”

He lets his thumb rub your cheek, looking in your eyes as if to check in with you before he leans closer once more, kissing you gently. He pulls away fully then, though his hands linger as he does, slipping softly off your cheek first, but keeps his one hand now on your hip, like he doesn’t want to part just yet. You’re not complaining, the feeling is more than mutual, and you like the weight of his hand on you. You’ll take it for as long as you can.

“I do have to go,” he says apologetically. You keep your soft smile as you nod in understanding before he continues, “I’ll call you.”

“I’ll answer,” you reply easily.

His hand slips off your hip as he moves instead to take hold of your hand. He brings it up to his lips and places a quick but delicate kiss on your hand, making your tummy flutter once again at the newly familiar gesture.

“Have a good night, sweetheart.”

“You too, Bucky,” you return as he lowers your hand, releasing his hold. “Bye,” you bid as you step to your door, opening it and then waiting at the threshold as you watch him go back to his car. Just before he gets in, he sends a charming, boyish smile your way.

You watch him go before you finally close and lock your door behind you, feeling like you’re floating as your lips still tingle from his kiss and you warm at the phantom feeling of his hands holding you.

[sometimesoliloquy]

“The fandom is centering a man in a story about women, all they can talk about is the man, all they care about is the man and the romance.”

Actually no, what we care about is representation of a strong woman being portrayed as a whole person who can contain multitudes: able to be a mother, daughter, friend, fighter, leader AND a lover if she wants to be. A complexity the character used to be granted before the writers apparently somehow decided it wasn’t “feminist” (a fallacy, btw).

We care about the message it would have sent for the main character to have been allowed to choose for herself a love that makes her feel alive, grounds her and helps her to be the best version of herself as she continues her fight. For her to trust and follow her own heart, mind and gut, as opposed to caving to the societal pressure telling her what she should be and who she should be with. 

Rather than the message we were given, which is that sexual desire and the love and companionship of a romantic partner is a distraction (a “flight of fancy”, even); that as a woman, you don’t get to have that if you want to be strong and independent and reach your true potential (think about how often media sends this same message about a male lead… yeah, not very).

We care about the fact that we wanted to fully emotionally immerse ourselves in an ending that involved beautiful female friendships we’ve been following for nearly 10 years and reflections on motherhood, family and resistance, but were too distracted by nonsensical, unsatisfying character choices, carelessly dropped plotlines and completely unrealistic and unearned moments shoehorned in at the last moment to enjoy the resolution as a whole.

We care about the fact that in the end they seem to have turned a main character we deeply cared about and rooted for into either a sociopath who doesn't care that the man she claimed to love* (at least as of 2 weeks ago) died horrifically, or else has become so fully numbed to death that she is unable to process it, and that this is yet another wound she will have to rip open at some point, another gut-wrenching loss she will have to mourn when she finally reckons with all the the lives needlessly lost over the years.

We care about the show staying even the littlest bit faithful to the spirit and the underlying themes of the source material (and not just in the literal words with which the first novel begins).

The reason we're talking about "the man" (aside from the fact that we appreciate this deeply layered and complex character, which yes, we're allowed to do even in a show centering on women) is that, in so fully and shockingly (the point, ostensibly) destroying not just the character but also apparently everything he had meant to the lead, it also inevitably denies the lead of one of the aspects that made her so relatable in all her messy humanity.

Can she be whole "without a man"? Yes, my god, of course. But she would also not be less with one, or even continuing to love one (or hell, even two) from afar. Was it really necessary to literally blow up the man she loved in order to deny her the choice, even at some potential point in the future beyond what we see after the screen goes black? Personally, I don't find that very "feminist", satisfying or hopeful, but hey that's just me.

*I won’t even get into the fact that we’re not even just talking about romantic love and sexual agency and desire here, we are also quite literally talking about familial love because this was *the father of one of her children*, because quite honestly my point here is that romantic love and sexual agency and desire actually do matter on their very own merit as well.

[if-you-soul]

Mischaracterization in the CCCC fandom: a yapsesh (alternative title: Erm... What the Gore is Going On?)

Hi. Woaw. I'm actually making that post I talked about.

So. One thing I've noticed in the CCCC fandom is this weird fixation on gore, torture, violence, etc. Usually a level of graphic content that makes your average horror flick look... pretty tame!

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy horror! I even think a horror story based around psychological conflict similar to CCCC could work well!

But is it just me, or has this fandom COMPLETELY lost track of what the characters are like in the source material?

Like. Let's be real. Nowhere in the album does Soul do gruesome surgeries on Mind, nowhere does Mind go ripping people to shreds like Doomguy, et cetera. The closest thing we have to an implication of violence is what most of us call the "Juno incident"- as even "tines stabbed through eyes" is clearly a metaphor with the next line: "that the sides have condemned."

Im gonna talk ab the characters themselves under the cut

I feel the biggest victim of this mischaracterization is Soul. In the album he's... kind of a victim, really. He toughs out being dismissed and fought over and pushed aside and outright dehumanized for so, so long. Are we seriously just... going to characterize him based solely on his lowest point in TSE? Spring and a Storm and Mucka Blucka are also songs where he's present- along with his presence in Just Apathy that the fandom seems to outright deny to keep their characterization of him as some violent, abusive monster. (Which, again, is quite literally never alluded to! He's honestly kind of a victim, if anything!)

Ohhkay. Next topic. Mind. Oh boy I have thoughts on how people characterize Mind.

He's not emotionless. If you believe this, you've fallen for his stoic facade. All of his songs are just. So full of so much rage. Maybe even a little bit of grief and sadness and fear, masked by said rage. He isn't some emotionless robot- (Heart calls him an automaton as an insult, but that's another rant.) and honestly it feels like such a disservice to such an interesting character with so much unexplored depth to portray him as such.

Heart. Oh boy. Where do I start. Heart what did they do to you.

Heart is the emotional side, yes, but that isn't just some... smol innocent uwu baby who cries all the time. Emotions aren't small and cute and timid. They're INTENSE and PASSIONATE and EXHAUSTING. Strong emotions leave you so, so drained, good OR bad. This is so much more interesting than portraying him as some "uwu hai dere!!" type of character. Which is nowhere in the album.

Whole is hardly even a character. Soul worshipping and praying to whole is fanon.

This fandom's weird obsession with creating shock gore and one-upping each other in a violence competition has spiraled pretty far out of control, and it's honestly crazy. How do you go from an album about internal conflict to violence that would make even the cast of Resident Evil cringe? Brah.

Final notes uhhh. Soul is a victim who got pushed to his limit, not an evil heartless abuser. Mind is angry and unstable and hurt, not some emotionless robot. Heart is the entire emotional spectrum, not some innocent baby. Ok i . I think that's all. Have a good one

[peekofhistory]

Hi! Love your Tumblr! I'm fascinated by the fact that you are in China making and playing the Guqin, I was wondering if you can share a bit more about yourself and your background and why you decided to move to China? Like a self intro (that you're comfortable sharing). Thanks and have a nice day!!

Hello :D

How I ended up in Yangzhou learning to make/play the Guqin is a rollercoaster of a story xDD

As for my background, I was born in China (Beijing) and moved to the US when I was around 6 yrs old (my mom had moved several years earlier and I went to live with her). From the start my mom emphasized I can't forget I'm Chinese, because that's where I'm from and where my family's from, so she put in a lot of effort teaching me Chinese. She even had a colleague send over elementary school textbooks from China so she could teach me Chinese at home. She also got recordings of some Chinese TV shows and she'd watch them with me, explaining each episode and giving me information on that period of history.

Back then there weren't that many TV shows in China, and the ones we could access in the US were even less, so it was mostly classics shows like Journey to the West (1986), Dream of the Red Chamber (1987) and Romance of the Three Kingdoms (1994):

That really planted the root for my interest in Chinese history and culture. Especially in the case of Romance of the Three Kinggoms that was based on the actual Three Kingdoms period in Chinese history, it made me aware of how long China's history was and how rich and colourful it was, all the incredible historical figures, the battles of the past, the stories, etc.

Later on I also became interested in Chinese Opera (mainly Peking Opera, Huangmei Opera, and Shanghai Yue Opera):

We moved to Canada after a few years and stayed there until I graduated uni. I then went to Japan to work for a few yrs.

When I returned to Canada, it was 2018 and I found myself having to start all over career-wise. My experience in Japan really didn't help me at all when job hunting in Canada, and I ended up doing a few entry-level jobs in healthcare (office admin work). Then Covid and I lost my job, found another job about a year later, but still entry-level.

It was actually during the Covid break that I found out I could buy Hanfu fairly easily now. Throughout my time at uni and in Japan I didn't really check Chinese websites so I didn't know much about what was happening in China. During the Covid break, with nothing else to do at home, I found Taobao and realized the pretty clothes I adored in TV shows as a child I can now buy :D I went a bit crazy at first and ordered a whole bunch, but at the time I honestly didn't know too much about Hanfu aside from long robes, large sleeves, criss-crossed collars. But it was fun to wear them out (once lockdown ended) and actually feel like the characters I once saw on TV:

The job I had just before I came to China I actually really enjoyed, the work itself was fulfilling, the pay wasn't great but OK, and my co-workers for the most part were pretty good (my direct supervisor was great, I really, really enjoyed working with her). Unfortunately there was some changes to staffing in the office and the workload became really bad. I found myself literally having nightmares about work, and crying driving to and from work everyday. I decided I needed to quit. It was taking over my life 24/7, I was constantly tense and dreaded having to go to the office every morning.

At this point I'm in my late 30s and I took a few months to think about what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Either look for another regular office job that may or may not be better than the last, or try something completely different.

At the same time, I decided to take the chance to visit my family in China. Without a job, I could visit for a longer period of time (otherwise I could only get 2 wks paid vacation). I remember my mom mentioned during one of her visits to China she had met a master of woodblock printing (雕版印刷/diaoban yinshua). It was the first form of printing invented, they would carve out pages of text (or images), put ink over top, then print it onto paper:

This was even earlier than movable type printing (活字印刷/huozi yinshua) where each character was printed on a separate block so you could arrange them as needed:

This master's workshop took in apprentices and would offer free housing and food. After a certain amount of time, once the apprentices' work reached a certain level, they were even given a salary for their work.

I thought that sounded like a great plan. I didn't explicitly come to China with the goal of finding a place to do an apprenticeship, but I was aware this sort of opportunity was available, and it aligned with my interest in Chinese history and culture.

When I arrived in China last year I spent a few months visiting my dad and other family, before I ended up in Yangzhou.

There were some emotional ups and downs in between, I did find a woodblock printing master, I started to learn a bit with him, it didn't work out, etc., etc. But essentially I found myself in Yangzhou with nothing to do.

Yangzhou is quite famous for Guqin (there's an entire street here dedicated to selling Guqin...although it's a bit of a tourist trap ^^;;) , and I thought I could find a teacher to learn how to play the instrument at least. I had bought a Guqin years ago in Canada, but was always too busy/lazy to actually learn/practice it, but now being free everyday I decided I could do some sort of intense course. While scrolling through the Red Note app looking for Guqin teachers I came across a post of a teacher looking for students to learn how to make+play Guqin, with the option to live at the workshop and have housing and food covered:

And my eyes lit up.

That was how it all started :D

The biggest obstacle is honestly some family members. Growing up abroad, I've never really had a close relationship with any of my relatives in China. I've also never had to navigate the complicated family relations that Chinese families can sometimes have. If I were to go to any other country in the world to learn something, none of them would say anything, I don't think they'd even think about it, but because I'm in China a lot of them suddenly feel they need to express an opinion about my decisions, lol. Some don't like my interest in wearing Hanfu, some think I'm crazy learning something that "no one else these days is interested in", some think I'm immature/irresponsible not finding a 'regular' job and 'wasting' my time. Luckily, none of them live in Yangzhou so aside from a passive-aggressive text message/phone call once in awhile I can do my own thing 😁💖

[vampireistic]

the problem with natlan / sumeru

warning: long post

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to preface this i’d like to say that i’m in no ways an expert in the topics present, i’m just an autistic dumbass with too much time on his hands who enjoys a bit of research — i’m in no way, shape or form trying to belittle players who are excited for the update, by all means i hope you enjoy it, i’m just trying to give criticism.

you can enjoy/play a game while criticising it simultaneously.

when it comes to the topic of racial diversity and a company like hoyoverse that’s based in china, there’s quite a lot of political baggage that comes along with it. while i’ll try my best to go over that, i’m afraid i can only give a very limited eastern european perspective on it and i’ll certainly get things wrong or misinterpret things — if you’d like a more thorough view on the politics, please go read the post made by @zeichannnnn (hope you don’t mind the tag my love)

firstly, i’ll be going over general misconceptions, ridiculous excuses and or stereotypes that i’ve seen commonly come up in this conversation.

any and all screenshots will have usernames cut off for privacy, i want to maintain a civilised discussion and not cause argument.

a lot of my critiques are more so towards the attitude the fandom has when it comes to this argument and their blatant colourism. as my friend above says, no one ever complained about characters in liyue/inazuma being paper white despite the fact realistically, no one in EA is that colour naturally. this of course stems from the beauty standards but that’s a discussion for later on.

the point is that if say a nation like liyue, had the same skin colour as a character like xinyan (who hails from liyue and has a liyue name) people would undoubtedly be upset. so why is it that when in terms of nations that are based off countries with a darker skin colour variety, complaining about the characters being white is seen as a problem?

culture isn’t defined by racial diversity, but when you’re monetising off the representation of different countries cultures, the very least you can do is show the actual diversity within said culture instead of slapping a cultural name on a white model (cue that one picture of the egyptian dude who looks like a plain american).

the idea that because it’s fantasy or anime, having black characters is surreal or improbable is rooted in white supremacy’s hold over unfair beauty standards as well as just the general consensus that black people are less desirable in media. which is completely false.

characters like dehya have proven that a character’s race is irrelevant when it comes to likeness, given the fact the chinese community ended up donating to charities because of said characters story.

the reason why the lightly toasted characters appear tan to you is because the rest of the cast is so horrifically pale (nahida’s hex code is #FFF7F1, cyno’s is #EEC6A6 which when placed next to each other may look like a big difference, but in reality the colours are on the same side of the colour wheel only a few spaces apart).

hoyoverse does in fact use culture as a mere aesthetic and costume to plant on white models. that is NOT to say they misrepresent culture entirely: this post goes over how hoyoverse is perfectly capable of doing impressive research to bring forth forgotten or unknown bits of culture.

even aside from the problems with racial diversity, the character design department has been known to completely fail when it comes to accurate representation. from the sexualisation of the kimono in characters like raiden shogun (which even the eastern part of the fandom have been upset about) to the character of yunjin where the chinese player based believed she was more like a lolita inspired caricature than a real depiction. they don’t understand how to mingle tradition with modernism.

in all fairness, it is difficult — and i will praise the game for making natlan much more technologically advanced and vibrant than people were expecting because having the one nation that’s based off africa and indigenous people be a wasteland would’ve ultimately been a problem. personally, i even love the slight mashup of “tribes” and the pokémon esque aesthetic — its new, and a smart way to bring two things together.

same thing cannot be said for how hyv ignores the fact darker people of colour are also significant when it comes to the building of culture.

please read over these that go more into depth about problems:

natlan being an amalgamation of three separate countries/cultures.

misrepresenting both continents natlan’s based from

another thing that’s always bothered me is the excuses people used in sumeru about the presentation of characters that were based off real people; specifically, kusanali.

yes, she’s based off a hindu moon goddess who’s described as pale and sure that could’ve been the reason she’s nearly the colour white — but how come candace, who’s based off kandake, a fully black woman, is presented as being slightly tan? you can’t pick and choose what you represent and honestly the idea that nahida’s character is supposed to be a depiction of the moon goddess is disrespect to the goddess herself (please go look at a singular picture of her and you’ll understand the utter tragedy).

hoyoverse also has a bit of a history with both whitewashing their slightly tan characters (nekomiya from zoneless zen zero, arlan from honkai star rail etc) but i think one of their biggest proofs of disrespect comes to carole pepper from hi3.

now, this is not at all me saying you can’t present female characters as very muscular — no. in fact, i would’ve loved if characters like beidou had a similar sort of build. but out of all the characters you could’ve chosen to give this to, you chose a black woman.

would this be a problem if it continued with other characters? not really. the issue lies within the fact the ONLY mother in game who’s presented as buff and “masculine looking” is a black woman — something that’s quite literally a stereotype against black women who are regarded as “naturally less feminine” than white women.

eastern beauty standards

the assertion that eastern beauty standards prevent the inclusion of black characters in video games is not only invalid but also reflects deeper issues of bias and systemic exclusion in the gaming industry. this argument is flawed for several reasons, including the diversity of beauty standards in eastern cultures, the global nature of the gaming market, and the responsibility of creators to reflect and promote inclusivity.

to claim that eastern beauty standards universally exclude black characters oversimplifies and homogenizes the diverse beauty ideals present in countries like japan, south korea, and china. these cultures are not monolithic and have their own histories and contemporary movements that embrace a variety of appearances.

creators in the gaming industry have a responsibility to reflect the diversity of the real world and promote inclusivity. video games are a powerful medium that can shape perceptions, challenge stereotypes, and foster empathy. by including black characters, game developers can contribute to a more inclusive and equitable society. this requires intentionality and a commitment to representation that goes beyond mere tokenism. the argument that eastern beauty standards prevent such inclusion suggests a lack of willingness to challenge existing norms and expand the narrative possibilities within games. hoyoverse have themselves stated in their mission statement that their goal is to show inclusivity.

that’s not to say it’s not clear that china’s beauty standards have unfortunately affected the gaming market: but for a game that brandishes itself on localising itself for a global audience (meaning, outside of its region), it’s a poor excuse. those standards aren’t universal and shouldn’t be used as gateway into designing.

once again, i am NOT at all very well versed in politics especially one that’s overseas (well, next door neighbour in a way) so i definitely will misinterpret or misunderstand things unintentionally and if i do, i’m really sorry.

historical nihilism to me doesn’t relate to black people, just actual story events (hence why hoyoverse had to put a warning label for fontaine that the events presented didn’t represent that of the real world and any similarities were mere coincidence). black people existing isn’t regarded as “politically harmful” neither is it an extraordinary idea — it’s just another group of people.

although, the CCP has a MASSIVE history about their demonisation and hatred of black people therefore, even without the idea that the censorship stems from something like historical nihilism, it’s likely something to do with individual prejudice.

politically, i can semi-understand why hoyoverse is in a tight space for racial diversity. but that doesn’t mean i’m willing to baby a company that profits billions worth of profit from other cultures that they misrepresent and i’m even less inclined to hold the hands of hoyoverse dickriders who believe people complain about race just solely to whine. it’s a real systemic issue, and one that’s prevalent in a multitude of games aside from genshin.

people from the cultures presented are rightfully upset and they shouldn’t be told to just “accept”mediocrity. it’s their culture and identities being ridiculed, it’s their identities being profited from for the sake of aesthetics for a game that preaches inclusivity to the people that are willing to ignore its prejudice.

hell, even as a polish person, just thinking about what they’ll do with snezhnaya upsets me even if it’s not racially based — once again, the media emphasises the idea that eastern europe / slavic culture is purely russia meanwhile they steal little things from all of the surrounding countries in eastern europe (won’t forget the fact they changed that password thing in sumeru from “ravioli” to “pierogi”).

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TL;DR hoyoverse uses other people’s cultures and identities as an aesthetic and proceeds to profit off of it while misrepresenting the sample of people they chose to depict and while a political argument can be made in this regard, ultimately the backlash from people rightfully feeling unjustified in the lack of racial diversity is what amplifies these colourist attitudes: and while hoyoverse has seemingly much more legal repercussions to commit to their idea of diversity, the fandom has no excuse for their disregard of different identities.

also just a funny thing my friend and i did to show just how white these characters are lol

“ blackwashing “ versus “ whitewashing “

i feel like i need to add this little section too because i know there will be a lot of people that draw or reimagine the characters in a variety of different skin tones, and i know a lot of people will be upset (usually it’s just the lowlife weebs who cry at the thought of a black woman being in the same room as them).

historically, media, including video games and anime, have predominantly featured pale-skinned characters, often neglecting the representation of people of color. this lack of diversity reinforces a narrow view of beauty and heroism, contributing to the systemic exclusion of non-white individuals. blackwashing helps to rectify these historical imbalances by providing a broader spectrum of racial representation. it challenges the default assumption that characters must be pale-skinned and introduces audiences to a more inclusive range of appearances.

representation matters profoundly in media. seeing characters that reflect one's own identity can have significant positive effects on self-esteem and cultural pride. blackwashing creates opportunities for black audiences to see themselves in roles and narratives traditionally dominated by pale-skinned characters.

critics (once again, youtube creators and tiktok lmao) of blackwashing often argue that it disrespects original character designs or cultural contexts. however, the impact of changing a character's skin tone is minimal compared to the harm caused by whitewashing. whitewashing often erases the cultural significance of non-white characters, perpetuating stereotypes and denying the rich diversity of the source material. blackwashing, in contrast, does not erase cultural identities but rather enhances the inclusivity of the media. it provides a more diverse and representative depiction without detracting from the character's original essence or storyline.

in addition, usually when a character is black in fantasy media or even just an anime/game with a lore based story, it’s because their race is significant to who they are (i.e tiana from princess and the frog who faces racial discrimination — without her being a person of colour, this storyline and the events that follow wouldn’t make sense).

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i’m sorry for such a long and probably nonsensical rant, but this has bothered me into absolute oblivion especially the community’s response to the uproar of people who rightfully critique and are upset by the company.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I guess Korea is supporting us now?

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

April 2025 Week 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Top Form (Thurs WeTV) ep 5 of 10 - I know (but also I keep forgetting until the credits roll) that this show is based on a yaoi. The Japanese feel of all of the characters and their interactions that keeps hitting me broadside. For example the whole smoking sequence in this episode. Then I’m reminded that this is Japanese IP at the end, and then I retroactively forgive it startling behavior in each episode. I think I would enjoy this more if I reminded myself as it starts that this is Japanese sensibilities Thai style. This is an authentic adaptation, more so than anything GMMTV has ever given us. (Much as I loved Cherry Magic it was a very VERY GMMTV Thai BL take.)

Sweet Tooth Good Dentist (Fri iQIYI) ep 4 of 12 - It was fine. They are cute enough. But I’m over the moon that Jimmy comes in next episode. That’s all I really care about right now. Honestly I wish I liked this show more, I want to like it. It should be me cup of tea teeth.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Heesu in Class 2 (Korea Fri Viki) eps 7-8 of 10 - I am so glad and relieved that Heesu’s bestie crush has finally ended. Thank you. Could we please get on with the BL portion of this narrative now? Honestly, I adore Heesu because he is both honest and earnest (I think that's why the people around him do too). What an utterly charming main character to get to spend time with. I cant wait until next week. I honesly don't mind that the crush swung so swiftly and easily because frankly, that's high school for you, and also we get VO of Heesu's thoughts, so we are kind with him... at least I am.

PS On a complete aside. I cant believe how long this BL is... from Korea! 

PPS I have to confess that I too love carrot juice.

Business as Usual (Korea Thurs Viki) Ep 3 of 7 - ep 3 and we got a confrontation already! And a reverse pov? Excellent. i’m not wild about the reason for the split being miscommunication and fear and running away, I feel like it would be nice we got something different from Korea this time. But I’m still enjoying the show = good kisses, heart-beak et al.

Secret Relationships (Korea iQIYI) ep 8 end - very exciting final episode. Quite thrilling, actually. If you're into, ya know, soap operas and melodrama. Which I absolutely am. As is customary with these kinds of BLs, I spent a good portion of it saying "this boy needs a therapist not a boyfriend!" But they did make a cute couple, with good kisses, even with the ubiquitous year gap at the end.

Summary 

An entirely unhinged story about a very troubled office worker and the three men who are passionately in love with him. Two of whom are very warped and unhinged about it. This is an unadulterated melodrama, and extreme in always including domestic violence, kidnapping for love, and some light stabbing. As ya do. It’s a wild ride, but enjoyable. The visuals are excellent, the acting is fun if chewy, and the chemistry is good all round. However this kind of BL has a low rewatch potential and too much violence for me personally. 8/10

Something Is Not Right (Korea Weds Viki) ep 1 of 8 - Interesting start. Unusual and I kind of like it. They are so cute and so in love and so teen crush. Tsundere is VERY tsundere. It's a very manwha piece, much more so than Blueming ever felt. I'm not in love with it, but I'm not upset with it either.

Fight for You (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 5 of 12 - Aw he has such sad eyes. The conceits of this show are increasingly ridiculous and yet I’m enjoying it immensely. Especially when they’re kissing. Thank you Taiwan. Also, how could he not fall in love with the sunshine, when the sunshine is essentially being the perfect boyfriend? That said, I never high rank a show where one of them is lying to the other one essentially the whole time - so that is tempering my enjoyment. But I am still enjoying it despite that one big worry. 

Exclusive Love (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 11 of 12 - pocky game with your quasi-ex-bestie when he's getting married the next day? That’s a wild idea honeychild. I do like that we got a lot of the sides this time around. And kidnapping and some self sacrifice stabbing. The usual.

It's airing but......

Sashes and Hearts (Pinoy YT) 13 eps - Philippines is doing Drop Dead Gorgeous only all gay boys queening their asses off. Doesn't interest me, not sure if it's BL.

Last Meal Universe (Thai ????) 8 eps - An alien who has come to destroy earth instead falls in love with Thai food and then the Thai boy who cooks it - realistic, actually. I got a link to watch but it still wouldn't work for me, so I guess I'm waiting to see what happens.

Lost in the Woods (Weds Gaga) 7 eps - Not my thing, dropped at ep 2.

Secret Ghost (Thai Sat Viu) ?? eps - The trailer dropped and it looks so bad.

My Golden Blood (Weds iQIYI) 12 eps - dropped at ep 5. I just can't. It's too awful. I did try. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

COMING IN APRIL

4/20 Boys in Love (Thai Sun iQIYI ) 12 eps - Our only true high school BL from GMMTV this year and it's fresh faces for the youths and old favs for the teachers. It's milk teeth Make it Right and fine with me! I like lotte milk. Also DIMPLES! Yay! I suspect they are using this one to test some fresh pairs for future seasons. Like a Project 101 Thai BL. (Honestly I just invented an amazing reality TV for you GMMTV, you're welcome.) Like My School President in 2023, this could be a major sleeper hit for me.

4/20 My Stubborn (Thai Sun iQIYI) 10 eps - trailer Mflow's next high heat office romance involving best friend's younger brother, boss meets intern, bit of a love triangle, GL crumbs, and few other tropes.

4/25 My Sweetheart Jom (Thai Fri YouTube) 12 eps - trailer Saint is back in a BL, but this is what he chose? When he gets int rouble, Yothin needs to find a safe place. Instead of sending him overseas, his father sends him to the countryside. There, he is under the watchful eye of the village headman Jomkhwan.

4/26 The BangkokBoy AKA Bangkok Boys AKA The Bangkok Boy (Thai Sat ????) ?? eps trailer - Action, crime and revenge meets gangs, mafia, and more. Oh my.

2025 Line Up

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 1

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 2

20 BLs Announced for 2025 That I'm Really Excited About

GMMTV 2025 Line Up - My Totally Biased and Wildly Flawed Feels

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Not a great week actually, no pulls.

(last week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

[yuikomorii]

As someone who wants to get into the games (I only watched the anime and read the manga), I heard Ayato and Subaru are less bad than the others, is that true ? I don’t mind spoilers !

// It's a bit complicated to explain. In HDB, they were both somewhat violent with you, though they never actually hit you. They enjoyed pulling pranks and drinking your blood forcefully, but aside from the two specific scenes from their routes (shown in the pics below), they didn’t do anything seriously harmful on purpose. If anything, Yui seems to stay the most sane in their routes from the dark epilogue to the heaven epilogue.

Credit to: dialovers-translations

In HDB, Reiji is definitely the least toxic of the bunch, though he still does quite a few bad things and even plays an antagonist role at times, including in some of the newer games.

As for Ayato and Subaru, outside of HDB, like in MB, they still suck your blood forcefully and are bitches from time to time, even outside their routes, but they’re noticeably more reasonable and genuine after you get together. In the next games, they’re easily the kindest among the Sakamakis. In LE, Ayato is the nicest based on the way he treats you AND others.

Overall, all characters are pretty messed up, and the story touches on a lot of triggering themes, even if it’s occasionally masked with humor. That said, they all go through significant development, and the Diaboys’ more recent versions actually turn out to be pretty good boyfriends.

[districtunrest]

ONGOMGOMGOMG. (share thoughts. any n all. you know i need to know. PLEASE!)

HAHA sorry. anyway:

I didn’t really like it and I’m sad about it. ☹️ even though there were some interesting ideas and cool new characters, I was taken out of the story too much to fully enjoy them. it read to me like the laziest (most rushed? least edited?) yet most forced storytelling of the series, which sucks bc it’s supposedly the REAL backstory of my favorite character. but I just couldn’t shake my doubt while reading that this was what we and Katniss were missing all along. too many details (that I memorized by heart as a tween and have made everyone’s problem since) didn't match up, even with the card-stacking*. so I just don't believe this was always the intended ‘real’ story when it’s so hidden from the trilogy... imo, SC went back to it with a mission statement in mind after recent current events (and, more tellingly, after Ballad) and did her thing. which is fine, that's her right - it's just, when this whole book seems more like a writing workshop thought experiment than the intended backstory, I will treat it as such. bc as it stands, all the callbacks & connections & Everlark parallels in the world cannot replace Katniss & Peeta watching the highlight tape of his Games, Haymitch telling them what he did was “almost but not quite” as bad as them with the berries, Katniss finally understanding who he is in that moment, and Haymitch later admitting the loss of his loved ones were because of "that stunt [he] pulled with the forcefield" (which is. simply not true anymore with all of his stunts in and out of the arena). like say no more, that’s good enough for me! it’s what I prefer and what I find more compelling than what’s revealed/subverted in Sunrise. and tbh that discrepancy makes Sunrise unfaithful, at least in my eyes, for all it relies on references to the rest of the series. 

now, obviously I had mixed feelings about this prequel in the first place, and my concerns/reservations mounted with each excerpt, only to be confirmed now... but I did try, okay!?? haha I’d told you and several others privately that I really wanted to like this book and I was willing to set aside my gripes if it was good - but it had to actually be good! instead, the book was exactly what I was afraid it was going to be *and* suffered a drop in quality. I found the narration underwhelming, dumbed down and repetitive, and not evocative of Haymitch's voice. even things I thought there was NO WAY would actually happen and I was just being paranoid - but then they did, lmao. like, it was a letdown for me personally *and* it didn’t even do it well enough where I could at least respect it and oblige, lol

overall, it was just too off for me. by answering and explaining so much, it ended up taking away a lot of the trilogy's charm and intrigue - and did so in a way that left a bad taste in my mouth. it made me view Ballad in a more negative light, too, tbh. so I think going forward I’ll just consider it a weird spinoff that is secondary to the main/trilogy canon. 🤷🏻‍♀️

(some more Haybitching under the cut)

tbh, what guts me the most is what SC chose to do with Haymitch’s voice & character, where she watered him down to what he needed to be for this lesson & this plot. it’s frustrating that the dangerous, cunning, arrogant boy that Katniss sees in the highlight reel and can easily recognize in adult Haymitch is all an act. the character we thought we knew is not present here, sacrificed to make yet another point about propaganda, and that’s a crying shame. and his deterioration in the final chapters is so underwhelming (as are the death scenes 🫣) - I've read that same story countless times but told better by people who love the character as is and weren't on a time crunch for a movie deal, I guess.

Sunrise!Haymitch skews shockingly immature and moralistic and hates the idea of being a sarcastic, selfish “rascal." but since when are we calling surviving and fighting to get home in an unthinkable situation selfish? that’s now assumed in Sunrise’s logic, where instead having a ginormous alliance against the Careers with no exit plan (big ‘WHAT IF ALL THE TRIBUTES BANDED TOGETHER AND DIDN’T FIGHT?’ energy) is much smarter and nobler than going it alone and heading in one direction to get to the edge for no reason other than bc nobody had tried it before and trilogy!Haymitch, we know, is an out-of-box thinker & strategist. I know he & Ambert were operating under the notion that they were going to lose no matter what and had their own plans (which. hmm) but it was just so oddly accepted by the Newcomers, too, who had no such threat from Snow. they were so willing to be selfless martyrs and band together when they all know at the end of the day there can only be one survivor - which was heartening in a way, sure, but it almost seemed trite? and again, needlessly moralistic in an established world like Panem, where these things happen every year...? not even self-righteous (Katniss' words but with Haymitch's backing!) Peeta 'not a piece in their games' Mellark thought so narrowly. Idk. I might have to mull that one over more. but anyway, then Haymitch trying to rescue Maysilee is turned into a mini redemption arc in post, when all it was in the first place was a glimpse into his protective & caring nature underneath all the bravado, which was surely part of Katniss’ deepening understanding of him. but Sunrise wasn’t interested in exploring that, either, or even honoring it. okay

and I can’t get over how SC had to kind of retcon the final pages of Mockingjay to fit Haymitch’s epilogue into it, which didn’t help how it already rang so hollow for me, I hate to say. it’s not even done well, containing the most rushed, wrap-up-everything-before-the-deadline writing I’ve ever seen from SC (and it STILL doesn’t read like Haymitch’s voice to me :/). some things can just be; they don’t need some big, loaded, tragic explanation. Haymitch can glibly call Katniss ‘sweetheart’ once, bc she’s been sullen & hostile to him and he is in fact sarcastic (the horror!), only for it to go on to become an actual term of endearment by the end - like, that’s lovely in and of itself. why weigh it down further? who asked for that? I know I didn’t. 

most insignificantly & pettily of all: geese do mate for life - as in monogamously, meaning they stay together until one of them dies. then, they mourn and find another mate. just putting that out there, lmao

*how tf was Haymitch able to kiss his token and set up a bomb and throw it over the edge and put his token back when we know he was convulsing from shock by the end? to where Silka was able to start staunching her wound as she waited for him to die? if him going into shock was taken from footage anytime after, the arena would've been quaking/on fire around him?? Idk fam. it just feels off.

[lunarheir007]

My opinions on how to train your dragon: the hidden world (if you liked the 3rd movie, look away):

while there are definitely things I enjoyed about the 3rd film, there are also a lot of problems with it that make me view the 2nd film as the end of the canon content.

First I don’t hate the ending, in fact I like the emotional ending of the dragons leaving (I wish it didn’t end that way but thats a whole different thing). What I hate is why toothless left in the first place. He left for a female dragon he knew for like a day. I’m sorry you’re throwing away a SIX YEAR friendship for a girl you met in A DAY. (Also mind you he literally became the alpha in the last movie to protect Hiccup so…) I don’t buy it. The ending would be so much better if there was no light fury and toothless and hiccup realize the dragons need to leave to be safe. Toothless leaving for the safety of his species is a good ending. What makes it not work for me is the light fury. I would have preferred if the light fury didn’t exist (besides just hating the concept her design is also lazy). If she needs to be in the movie, they should have limited her impact. Too much time was spent on this light fury that overall didn’t add much to the story for me.

Secondly, grimmel. UGH I did not like him. He just was not a good villain by any means. He was set up to be this brilliant and calculated villain but he fell extremely flat. Most of his calculated “genius” moves only paid off because the gang made mistake after mistake. (Truthfully hiccup made so many unhiccup like decisions in this film). Also, I did not like the rehashed “dragons working for the bad guy” trope. Grimmel is supposed to be this masterclass dragon hunter, so why does he need dragons to help him? It makes no sense (and quite frankly having a villain who didn’t need dragons to take down other dragons would be way more scary than what we got).

My favorite villain is Viggo Grimborn because they set him up as the strategic game player and actually back it up. I stand by the fact that Viggo is what they wanted Grimmel to be. Viggo is actually the smart villain they wanted grimmel to be because his wins don’t come about because hiccup or the gang make a stupid mistake. He wins because he is out thinking hiccup. Like hiccup is playing an amazing game and is making good moves, Viggo just makes better ones. Viggo also benefits from being a tv show villain since they have more time to build up his character. In that same vein, I think Grimmel would have been a better tv show villain because for his type of character you need more build up.

Lastly, leaving Berk/the hidden world. First off you could just tell it was such a forced in plot point. Like how was grimmel so much more of threat than Drago and a colossal sized alpha dragon that they needed to leave berk (again in part to the lack of development of Grimmel). I just didn’t feel that there were enough stakes for them to leave Berk.

Don’t even get my started on the characters. Everyone was pushed aside except for hiccup, Astrid and toothless. Let’s not even get into snotlout’s weird obsession with Valka (why couldn’t they have just made her a mother figure for the gang idk). Toothless losing everything that made him a terrifying dragon that was called the offspring of lighting and death itself. Like I get he is supposed to be like tamed and all that but the 2nd movie was a good balance between the two. Why did they have to push it even farther?

Anyway, that’s my rant on the third movie.

[soursherbat]

Aside from the Lamb what other charas do you ship Shamura with? Sozo? Goat? Witness Allocer? Or is your spooder loyal to the one and only lamb?

hihi, thanks for asking!! :D i actually ship shamura with three characters (as of now)

i have no plans for the witnesses just yet so they've been left out, but my mura's relationships look something like this! i know this question is about shipping but i have quite a bit to say about their dynamics with everyone really,

i'll go a little more in depth on all of these under the cut for anyone interested!

i'll just start on top with ramzi and go clockwise :3

Ramzi: Shamura's first true romantic interest, being the God of War didn't allow for them to spend much time thinking of romance, if they'd considered the thought at all previously. Their romance is slow and awkward at first, but as the first bishop to marry Ramzi I'd say they got their act together pretty quickly! They adopted Webber as their child a short time after their union :3

Narinder: The tensest of the familial relationships they maintain, Nari still blames his siblings (mainly Shamura) for his imprisonment. Shamura is willing to admit fault, Narinder is not, causing them to butt heads occasionally. They have an eternity to work it out and they still have their soft moments, with time they'll put the pieces together. They're on the road to mending their bond, but they need a mediator still to keep things civil

Hazel: One of Ramzi's first disciples, assigned to Shamura's library and is essentially their personal assistant! He is, unfortunately, dumb as a box of rocks when it comes to his own emotions and relationships. Has an intense pining for Shamura, and with Mura's lack of experience and forgetfulness, they don't catch on to Hazel's feelings for a while...

Kallamar: Their closest familial bond, Kallamar feels the safest when Shamura is nearby, and is incredibly protective over them. He still acts as their primary doctor, though his new nurse (another disciple of Ramzi's) has also been trained on how to care for their needs. They spend most of their free time together, he even attends Shamura's book readings for the cult children to provide another voice for their stories or just to listen to them read.

Faustus: The large goat seemingly has nothing in common with Ramzi, but Shamura saw a strange similarity between them that seemed to draw them in. Faustus was wary at first, his own bishops in his world being cruel and uncaring to his followers and even himself, though Shamura's kindly personality disarmed his cautious attitude rather quickly. Thankfully their romance went a lot smoother than Shamura's initial trysts with Ramzi, even if they both bumbled their way into the situation to begin with.

Heket: Her loyalty to her sibling is unmatched, Heket is still Shamura's staunchest defender. She wants to act as their bodyguard, despite their urging for her to embrace their mortal forms and enjoy the new lives they've been given. Shamura's admittance of guilt and regret rattled her at first, making her reconsider everything they'd done previously- but she's beginning to relax. Shamura is quick to remind the lamb to be patient with her, she had been taken into the old faith as a bishop early on in life, it was all she had ever known after all.

Sozo: I should preface that while I do enjoy the Sozo/Shamura ship- my characterizations of them would not get along! Shamura may have softened over time, but their prey drive may never leave them. Some followers trigger it more than others, and while they are disciplined and would never actually make a move against Sozo- he recognizes those hungry looks they give him. Sozo is, frankly, absolutely terrified of Shamura. Ramzi has tried to ease tensions between them before, though trying to force an ant and a spider to be friends was (unsurprisingly) not successful...

Leshy: The youngest of the old faith, and the fastest to adjust to life in Ramzi's cult, Shamura was surprised by how quickly Leshy came around. By the time they'd been resurrected and brought into the grounds, he was fully comfortable there. Over protective and paranoid at first, Leshy was instrumental in helping them acclimate to mortal life. He spends quite a bit of time helping them weave, and Shamura loves every moment spent with their younger brother (even if they have to stop him from flossing his teeth with their silk occasionally,)

WAAGH sorry this post is so long but honestly i could keep rambling 💀tysm for the ask, i hope this answered your questions!

[asexualbookbird]

Okay. So May. Happened. I had a lot of birthday fun and fun with friends. The month was a friend sandwich with The Horrors in the middle. At least I managed to read a lot, with thanks to audiobooks. I spent a lot of time sewing, which means I spent a lot of time listening to books. And a many good books this month at that! Step aside, Horrors, fantasy escapism is here!

Blood and Chocolate by Annette Curtis Klaus ⭐️⭐️ - Hm. This book sure is from the 90s. This is why I never reread favorites from my childhood, they rarely hold up. It is refreshing to see the woman (lol she's seventeen) be the unhinged stalker for a change, but Vivian. Girl. What the absolute shit are you doing. I finally feel brave enough to say The Movie Is Better, but now I'm scared that's bad too. My original rating was five stars, and I kept that rating on goodreads for nostalgia's sake, so no real rating here except also it's a two star book.

After the Forest by Kell Woods ⭐️⭐️⭐️ - Fine. That's all I really feel about this. I thought things Just Happen to Greta and was annoyed about it until she said "I'm tired of doing nothing, actually" and took action, but that was the last quarter of the book. I don't know, I mostly enjoyed reading it, might read it again, but it's really Just Fine.

The River Has Roots Amal by El-Mohtar ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ - An absolutely delightful nugget of a book. Illustrations? Beautiful. Writing? Wonderful. Characters? Delightful. Loved every bit of this, would read again in an instant and I almost did.

The Bone Maker by Sarah Beth Durst ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ - Reread! Still love it. Is it heavy handed? Yes. Is it fun? ALSO YES. This is one of those books where I am ignoring all flaws because I love the characters and their dynamic so much. Still my favorite depiction of bone magic.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid ⭐️⭐️⭐️ - Overall fine and enjoyable, but nothing special. I think most people may have been blown away because they've never read a book about a queer woman before. I find it hard to believe that a bisexual woman from the 50s, who lived through the AIDS crisis, would've never uttered or heard the word queer before. I'm glad I read it, but I won't be repeating the experience.

The Bear and the Nightingale by Katherine Arden ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ - Fantastic. Delightful. Heartbreaking. This was technically a book club book, but for reasons I don't remember I missed that meeting and didn't read the book. Foolish of me, to be honest. I was missing out. It's interesting that I read this so close to After the Forest, because I think that tried to do similar things and failed. I enjoyed this so much more and how it focused more on Vasya's relationships to everyone and everything around her rather than a Love Interest. I love that despite it all, I do in fact feel bad for The Evil Step Mother. The writing was melodic and makes me excited to read The Warm Hands of Ghosts.

Inheritance by JC Jones ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ - My friend wrote a short story! He put his heart on a platter for the world to read, and I am honored to be one of the first.

Metal From Heaven by August Clarke ⭐️⭐️⭐️½ - waffling between three and four and even three and a half feels odd somehow. I loved the genders going on here, loved the anger and the grief. It did some meat things with POV, too. I think the comps do this a real disservice. I could come up with a half dozen things that are better fitting than Princess Bride and Gideon the Ninth. Parable of the Sower, The Unspoken Name, Leech, to name some. It's not a bad book, and I read whole chapters multiple times. I even reread the first quarter of the book once I got a better feel for things. It feels disjointed somehow, and maybe that's intentional but it didn't quite hit right with me. I'll probably read it again regardless, I'm curious if my opinions change.

The Girl In the Tower by Katherine Arden ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ - Against my better judgement, I have been bamboozled by a charismatic man. You know I'm having a good time when I almost immediately go to the next book in a series. Some good gender presentations going on here and a wonderful example of social dysphoria (with a cis main character!) I'm in love with the horses, and especially Solovey. Finally, some good fucken fairytale retellings.

The Winter of the Witch by Katherine Arden ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - Crying. Sobbing. Screaming. The cyclicalness of it all. You know it's good when I not only finish a series, but do so in a timely manner. And a fairytale retelling, of all things. I was crying at the beginging because they killed my fave. I was crying at the end because they brought him back. I want to reread this whole series immediately.

I'm also halfway through The Art of Destiny (a buddy read!) which is going slow, but well. I kind of like the slowness of it all, to be honest. So I look forward to finishing that in June. Book club is soon too, so I get to read Katherine Arden's other novel which I am now SO hyped for. I'm almost done with my sewing project, which means I will once again be able to do Fun Art. A couple friends say I should get into furry art, so I don't know, maybe I'll dabble in that. We'll see! This post is long enough so as always, Be Kind <3

[austajunk]

Okay, on a second playthrough of Rain Code and I really got a better look at Martina's mindset in general.

I honestly forgot how genuinely power hungry and downright diabolical she is. It's honestly mesmerizing how into her power trip she is during Chapter Two's case. She's so confident, she even licks an open jar of poison just to make a point that it's expired.

Now the reason why I don't recall her power trip and destructive, cruel nature was because it was all wiped away as soon as Yomi ordered her executed for making him look bad. In a second, Martina's terrified and pathetic and in the same way as Seth Burroughs, her fate left unknown to the viewer until Chapter Four.

It makes me think about how police forces are pretty much conditioned and told to go buck wild, to show no mercy, to enact cruelty and subjugation on civilians until they get their way. They get off on it. It's a power trip. Anyone who tries to show restraint on the force is routinely harassed until they quit or find themselves in trouble.

And this is what I really like about Martina as a character. There just isn't any excuse for her. She wanted power and control. She enjoyed it. Being an Amaterasu Peacekeeper gave her a way to enact power over others. Kissing up to Yomi, who I'm pretty sure her "love" and "adoration" for was quite shallow, gave her power and control. And it's addicting. It feels good.

Until she realizes that it's an illusion and someone like Yomi is just using her till he's done with her. She thought she endeared herself to him so much that she wasn't disposable like everyone else in Kanai Ward. But it isn't true and Yomi can just quite literally smash her up into a cube without a problem.

The next time we see Martina, she has undergone a lot of change. A near-death painful execution scare definitely pry your eyes open with a wrench and make you take a look at just how cruel you have been as well as the system you propped up.

She's self-reflective enough to the point that she tells Makoto she will resign from the Peacekeepers even though he says she doesn't have to (which is great in itself because it's powerful that Makoto stepping aside to let her make that choice *herself*). Martina orders the arrest on Yomi, but it's more than just sweet payback. She puts forward the example that criminals are human beings and meant to be treated with equality, fairness and respect. And it makes Yomi scream and lose his goddamn mind.

But more than that, Martina knows she isn't done with atoning, quits the Peacekeepers, and is aiding in rebuilding Kanai Ward. She gains autonomy and lets power go to become a better person.

And I loved every second of this arc. My only wish is that there were more moments of it... like maybe we could have seen her when Makoto stopped her execution because that would have been at her lowest. But as it stands, I knew there was always a reason why I adored and LOVED Martina Electro as a character. I've always been attracted to stories of attack dog type characters growing past what they were and becoming something new.

Martina is wonderful because she was an honest-to-god shitty cop who got an earth-shattering awakening that reshaped her entire morality until she became someone who renounced her need for power and actually aided the society around her. Love to see it.

Not strictly important: I would also let her fucking kill me.