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creatingblackcharacters · 7 days ago

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“It’s Giving” AAVE, and the Denied Yet Undeniable Impact of Black Culture

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I grew up knowing it as Ebonics; I didn’t hear 'AAVE' until I was an adult. Apparently it’s used derogatorily- I did not know. But when Robert Williams coined the term in the 70s, its meaning was:

“…the linguistic and paralinguistic features which on a concentric continuum represents the communicative compentence of the West African, Caribbean, and United States idioms, patois, argots, ideolects, and social forces of black people…Ebonics derives its form from ebony (black) and phonics (sound, study of sound) and refers to the study of the language of black people in all its cultural uniqueness.”

Familiar Examples include but are not limited to:

The History

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It was unbelievably difficult to find a solely Black perspective on the subject. I’m gonna need everyone to let Black linguists talk, it’s literally their job. Anyway, I need y’all to actually WATCH this video. Don’t skip it thinking I’ll summarize. Watch it. Actually listen. That’s part of the problem to begin with, is not listening. Even if you have to read this lesson later, so be it.

One of the points emphasized in this video was that AAVE was formed of the need to communicate, and specifically to communicate in a way that hid what we were saying and thinking from antagonistic white society.

“…“the disguise language used by enslaved Africans to conceal their conversations from their white slave masters to the lyrics of today’s rap music, [the magical power of] the word has been shaped by a time when, as observed by Harlem newspaper writer Earl Conrad, ‘it was necessary for the Negro to speak and sing and even think in a kind of code.’””

Because it was in a form that white people could not understand, as well as already existing racist biases against the humanity and intelligence of Black people, naturally it was assumed that our way of communicating was ignorant and ‘false’. Even acknowledging it as a valid language was seen as abhorrent, by nonblack and certain Black people.

“For decades, linguists and other educators, pointing to the logic and science of language, have tried to convince people that Black English exists, that isn’t just a politically correct label for a poor version of English but is a valid system of language, with its own consistent grammar. In 1996, with the unanimous support of linguists, the Oakland School Board voted to recognize AAVE, or the more politicized term “Ebonics” (a portmanteau of “Ebony” and “phonics”), as a community language for African American students, a decision which might have opened up much needed additional funding for education. Instead it resulted in intense public backlash and derision due to the still widespread, incorrect belief that Black English was an inferior, uneducated form of English associated with illiteracy, poverty, and crime. It’s hard for a language to get ahead when it keeps getting put down. Some linguists, such as John Russell Rickford, have noted how even sympathetic linguistic research, which has derived a lot of benefit and understanding from Black English grammar, can unknowingly focus on data that represents African American communities negatively, giving “the impression that black speech was the lingo of criminals, dope pushers, teenage hoodlums, and various and sundry hustlers, who spoke only in ‘muthafuckas’ and ‘pussy-copping raps.’” The term “Ebonics” even now is used mockingly by some as a byword for broken English.”"

(Some of) The Rules

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AAVE is a full dialect with grammar and social rules. But the ones most people are familiar with include:

Th becoming D (“dats”)

Double Negative (“I ain’t see nobody”)

Habitual Be (“It’s cuz he be on that phone”)

Possessive s absence (“I’m going to my grandaddy house”)

Question word order (“who that is with the ice cream and cake?”)

Zero copula (“who that?”)

"Why do you talk like that" Would you rather I code switch?

“Code switching, or adjusting one’s normal behavior to fit into an environment, has long been a strategy for BlPOC individuals to navigate interracial interactions successfully. Code switching often occurs in spaces where negative stereotypes of Black individuals run counter to what are considered appropriate or professional behaviors and norms in a specific environment, and regularly happen in work settings.”

In this context, you might recognize it better as “using your white people voice”.

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Some Black Americans, for varying reasons including internalized antiblackness and a desire for assimilation, hate AAVE! Some people will hate that you don’t use AAVE! Never assume we’re all on the same page about its use! My own mother used to be big on speaking ‘proper English’.

Regional Differences

The same way regional differences affect standard pronunciation, it’ll affect the AAVE used. Culture in the area as well will affect the words that come from it. So someone Black using a phrase in Philadelphia might not automatically know what someone Black from Compton is saying.

Someone did their dissertation on this topic, and while I’m going to link the summary for yall to give it a shot, Imma be honest- I do not understand this. I tried. It’s interesting how something that comes so innately, once written out like this is like WHAT. But the research has been done!

Easier examples include:

"Aaron earned an iron urn"- Baltimore

GloRilla and "Mursic"- Memphis

A lot of AAVE from New York City is popularized; so you might hear words from anywhere that originated from Harlem or Queens, or New York Ballroom culture

Tonal Languages

One major source of misunderstanding AAVE is people not understanding tonality. AAVE is often tonal, similar to many African languages, languages in general- meaning that unless you hear it or are innately familiar with how it’s spoken, you might not know HOW I’m saying something and therefore will not understand what I’m trying to convey. Given the history, this was on purpose!

Black language- Black culture in general, really- is often conveyed orally. Everything we say and do is not going to be written down for someone else to study. Doesn’t mean we weren’t saying or doing it. If you want to understand, you have to listen!

“Linguist Margaret G. Lee notes how black speech and verbal expressions have often been found crossing over into mainstream prestige speech, such as in the news, when journalists talk about politicians “dissing” each other, or the New York Times puts out punchy headlines like “Grifters Gonna Grift”. These many borrowings have occurred across major historical eras of African American linguistic creativity. Now-common terms like “you’re the man,” “brother,” “cool,” and “high five” extend from the period of slavery to civil rights, from the Jazz Age to hip-hop: the poetry of the people. This phenomenon reflects how central language and the oral tradition are to the black experience.”

Some examples:

1) "You Good" can mean, depending on how it is said and the context in which it is spoken:

Are you okay?

Do we have a problem?

You’re okay.

You don’t want these problems so chill.

Do you have enough money/resource?

It’s fine! Don’t worry about it.

2) This was an interesting experience, watching the misunderstanding of AAVE occur live. It’s the realization that people read this as “This is something Bugs Bunny would wear” versus “Bugs Bunny would wear the fuck outta that outfit”. But if you didn’t know that, if you aren’t familiar with the tonality of AAVE, of course you’d think the first one is what it meant! And it's not wrong-wrong - he would wear it, but that's not necessarily all it meant.

3) “Chill-ay” versus “Chile”. Yeah, we didn’t forget that. This is often why AAVE is used to sound “aggressive” on the internet- if you perceive (however subconsciously) how Black people speak is aggressive, then when you decide to emulate my speech in your moment of aggression, it is because you think my Blackness will make you seem more intimidating! You find Blackness… intimidating. Same reason you think it makes you funnier than if you were to deliver the same joke using your own dialect. It means the jokes not funny; my language is what’s funny.

Black American Sign Language

We even communicate differently in sign language; there’s an entire history and culture behind the Black deaf experience.

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“In April 2020, Nakia Smith, aka Charmay, created a TikTok account introducing five generations of her Black Deaf family and how they communicate in Black ASL. As a social media influencer of Black ASL content, Charmay made a series of educational and informative videos on the history and practice of Black ASL. Charmay’s video went viral, landing in a New York Times article, Black, Deaf and Extremely Online, and Blavity: TikToker Has Gone Viral For Putting The Culture On To Black American Sign Language. Additionally, Netflix requested Charmay to explain the difference between Black ASL and ASL.”

Everyone doesn’t speak AAVE!

If your Black character is not Black American, and has never once been connected with Black American culture or people, they are probably NOT going to speak AAVE! They’re going to speak whatever dialect THEY have! And that doesn’t make it any less “Black” of them!

Different dialects and languages across the diaspora include but are certainly not limited to:

Black British English

Haitian Creole

Gullah

Jamaican and Caribbean Patois

Everyone Owes Rihanna an Apology

Y’all remember the song Work. I know you do. It was mainstream’s love and joy when this song dropped to be overtly racist about it, Black Americans included. Everyone claimed it was ‘gibberish’, that she was just mimicking language on a song and ‘it would be popular’.

Meanwhile, it was her singing in her native island patois! The people who spoke her language understood it! Anybody who actually tried to understand it, understood it! Another popular song, Sean Paul’s Temperature, is also in patois! And I thought we loved that song!

So next time Black people speak and you find yourself thinking- ‘wow, this makes no sense’, I want you to think to yourself: ‘does it make no sense, or do I just lack the context/knowledge/language to understand it?’

NOW THAT WE’VE HAD SOME EXPLANATION BEHIND THE LANGUAGE!

Writing AAVE

Me personally, I admit I don’t like it being used in stories where it is clear the author doesn’t understand the dialect, or where it’s clear the only person who speaks it is the “Black character who OMG DID I TELL YOU THEY WERE BLACK”. I’d rather it be the regular Queen’s English. We speak that too. I’m not going to decry your fanfiction or your regular modern-day original story as “bad” if you choose to use whatever language your region commonly uses. We know how to speak it. We will be okay. Using AAVE is not going to sell me that this character is “Black” if the rest of the character writing is still bad.

If it means that much to you, because it is important to the character, then you as the writer need to commit to learning proper AAVE! This isn’t going to be a “look up every turn of phrase on google” or “ask Ice what every single thing means”. You’re going to have to do what everyone who learns a language does- immerse yourself in it! If you can’t be bothered to learn my language, I’m going to know that when I read your work.

Obviously if there’s a context where the Black people involved do not know how to speak a language, it is perfectly fine to show that, as long as you are showing that it’s not due to some innate stupidity or other stereotype that this person cannot communicate the same way others communicate around them.

“The N Word”

I know someone’s thinking it, so let’s address it. There’s a translation for this word in damn near every language that’s ever come across Black people. So don’t go “oh we don’t have that word in my language-” I bet money you do.

Yes, it could be used in historical context- the ‘hard -er’. Yes, it could be used in social context- the ‘-a’. It follows the tonality rules I discussed earlier; that is, the way it’s used and who is using it makes ALL the difference in how it will be received.

Everyone is not on the same page about the use of this word within our community. Some Black people think it should never be used, period, even by us! Some Black people think that it should be reclaimed and use it as such! The only thing we’re on the same page about is that YOU should not be using it.

I say this to say to nonblack writers: put the pen down.

My stance is, if you can’t understand AAVE, you CERTAINLY aren’t going to be able to incorporate the social use of this word. Period. If you scared of the potential smoke incurred if you fuck it up- and if we see it, you will catch it- don’t bother. Trying to “write realistically” does not cut it. You should be doing everything in your power to understand and write a great Black character in all ways before ever thinking this is something you should do. In fact, if you're that thirsty to use this word, you have some other things you need to consider.

In the historical context, just watch yourself. If you’re gonna drop that word, you need to be damn well-researched on every other aspect of Black life and oppression in whatever era you’re writing. Just dropping this word to say “life is racist” shows a lazy lack of understanding of antiblackness. You don’t even have to drop the whole word. A “ni-” at the end of the sentence is enough for me to know exactly where we’re going! But if you not gone do the rest of the work… you know what they say about stupid games.

The Fundamental Disrespect

If you watched the prior videos (and you should have) and paid attention up to this point, you have already heard the struggles that both AAVE as a dialect and those that speak it go through.

There’s a societal connotation of stupidity, aggression, and silliness behind the way I speak. None of those things are true, and it’s hard to be told that even the way you communicate with others is bad.

But the other reason it’s so hard is because we spend our lives hearing that those are the connotations… when WE speak it. It is not the language- it’s ME that makes it so! And that gets into the other part of this lesson, something that AAVE is oft victim to.

This part is a little scarier for me to write, because people don’t like it when you talk about Black Americans as a separate entity from the US of A as it is known. I’m gonna put on my political hat for a second, but I promise this ties into my overall point so stick with me!

Stolen Cultural Hegemony

The reality is that the United States of America has forced a cultural hegemony upon the planet (amongst other forms). Yes. That is due to the capitalism, colonialism, imperialism and damn near just about every other -ism at the US government and military’s disposal. I am not saying that part somehow changes, of course not. That’s just facts. There are people far smarter than I (Edward Said, take the wheel) who could explain this far better. But I’m only here to explain this one point.

What DOESN’T get acknowledged is how much of what is deemed American pop culture across the world is both 1) stolen 2) Black culture! We do not have equivalent political power despite what our hypervisibility would suggest, but our social currency is raw diamond- so naturally, it has to be plundered! The white American dollar might mean far more than my life, but it’ll pay for my creations- even more so when I’m not involved!

The issue is that if your society says that I am less than, how can you justify how you covet everything I create? If I’m supposed to be so much less than you, why do you seek my language, my fashion, my music, my body? Why do you feel entitled to my creation, but you think you should have it… Without me?

Sit on that one for a second!

Appropriation of AAVE

Let's refer back to that chart at the beginning. How many of these have you seen or even used before? How long did it take for you to know it was AAVE? Don’t get me started on the influence of AAVE in queer spaces!

Of course I’m going to get started. Ballroom culture, created by Black and Latino people in New York City in the 80s (Paris is Burning, anyone?), has spawned so much popular “gay” lingo, and it’s not even just “gay”- it’s of color! Black English in particular is the source of many of the words that queer people use now in casual conversation, brought into the ballrooms, normalized, and then proliferated with other communities.

I can always tell when a new phrase from AAVE has hit nonblack audiences because it’ll suddenly be in every sentence I see, often butchered. Remember that historical context- of having to speak in code. Have you ever considered why AAVE is always evolving? Why we have to find new ways to communicate with each other? Have you considered that when people are constantly taking and misplacing your words, they may lose meaning or value, and so you have to come up with something else?

Appropriation of Black Music

Jazz, swing, the blues, disco, rock and roll, pop, even rap and hiphop have all been subject to appropriation- intentional or not. Far more intentional than you might want to believe. And it all comes back to money!

White audiences in the 1900s loved Black music- as long as they didn’t know Black people were singing it! Often, songs would be completely lifted and given to white bands to re-record. When Frankie Lymon first came on stage to perform, some of the audience was stunned! Even you know Itty Bitty Pretty One!

A more modern-day example: not to pick on the K-Poppies, but unfortunately it’s a low hanging branch example.

What K-Pop groups are doing now is heavily influenced what Black pop, rap, and R&B artists were doing from the late 90s to this very day. Part of the reason I enjoy K-Pop is because it reminds me of the stuff I used to listen to growing up. How many times have you heard someone think a Korean rapper in a K-Pop group is “fine”, but “don’t like” rap otherwise? Or will listen to K-Pop groups, but have very few to no one Black of the same sound on their playlists?

Examples:

Rover by Kai (2023) vs Swalla by Jason Derulo (2017)- Idk how popular Kai is outside of EXO, but I do know that some influence was had. And I like the song, btw! I prefer the music video! It’s just not the first time it’s been done!

Sweet Juice by Purple Kiss (2023) vs Say It Right by Nelly Furtado on a Timbaland beat (2006)

Taemin and Michael Jackson, period. Taemin having a song called The Rizzness. How did ‘rizz’ get to him? How did he know? More relevantly, how did the people who wrote his music know? How did something that started with Black people in Baltimore get all the way to Taemin in South Korea without influence?

I’ll use another example, so it doesn’t feel like I’m picking on K-Pop. I’m currently listening to CĂN NHÀ TRANH MÁI LÁ (Vietnamese, if you couldn’t tell) and as much of a banger as it is, with its own amazing cultural spin on the delivery… it is CLEARLY influenced by Black American rap. He nicknamed himself Vietgunna. Yall.

A non-American musical example: Afrobeats has taken the music industry by storm… How many of those people who enjoy an afrobeat from a nonblack artist will enjoy it from Wizkid or TEMS?

Those polls, where they ask how many Black artists you listen to… try paying attention to see just how much of your music takes inspiration from Black creators, but there’s a non-equivalent amount of Black artists that you support!

Political Bastardization of Powerful Black Colloquialisms

The appropriation of Black English isn’t always for entertainment. Sometimes, it’s a purposeful, malicious tactic to demean the words, and therefore the intent behind them.

“Woke”

“Michael Harriot, columnist at TheGrio and author of the upcoming book, Black AF History: The Unwhitewashed Story of America, explains that this kind of insidious takeover and flipping of Black vernacular to anti-Black pejorative has numerous parallels in America’s past and runs all the way up to present day. “When you look at the long arc of history and America’s reaction to the request for Black liberation – every time Black people try to use a phrase or coin a phrase that symbolizes our desire for liberation, it will eventually become a cuss word to white people,” Harriot says in an interview with [Legal Defense Fund]. It’s perhaps this very context — Black people’s awareness of their history and their power to resist injustice — that made woke so ripe for the pernicious mutation it has now undergone. Indeed, the forced transformation of the colloquialism echoes how countless other Black ideas and intellectual contributions have been maligned. “When people during the civil rights movement began saying ‘Black power,’ all of a sudden it became a term that people equated with communism and anti-white sentiment — and then it eventually gave birth to ‘white power,’” Harriot tells LDF. “The ‘1619 Project’ [which centers the ramifications of slavery and the contributions of Black people in American history] has become an insult. ‘Black Lives Matter’ became an ‘anti-white sentiment’ that was banned in school and spawned ‘all lives matter’ and ‘blue lives matter.’”

#SayHerName

This discourse is happening again, it happens like every six months on here, and it’s one of the things on here that fills me with a hatred that I struggle with every single time. It is hard, I literally feel that hatred in the pit of my chest right now as I type this.

Kimberle Crenshaw (Black woman and the originator of the legal term ‘intersectionality’), the Center for Intersectionality and Social Policy Studies, and African American Policy Forum coined the hashtag in 2014. TWENTY FOURTEEN.

It was meant to highlight the violent deaths of Black women and girls at the hands of police, which happens at a high rate like Black men and boys, but often goes far less acknowledged. By appropriating the hashtag, you are actively choosing to speak over the very names and deaths of Black women and girls we don’t know, because we are NOT SAYING THEM, and therefore are allowing those deaths to continue as though they do not matter.

I’m going to stop before I get more upset. But know what violence you’re contributing to in your negligence.

How to Avoid Cultural Appropriation while Showing Appreciation

Everything is obviously not appropriation. It is possible for people to appreciate, replicate, and take influence without being disrespectful! It happens! And because it is possible, is why it’s so infuriating that it does not.

It’s frustrating that when something is on me, it’s ghetto, ugly, ignorant. But when it’s on the right stick thin pale girl, it’s chic, it’s fashionable, it’s new. So if it’s not the language, and it’s not the fashion or music you don’t like… It must be… Me. I am somehow not worthy of respect for the very culture I create.

Can you imagine being told that? That you are not worthy of being… you?

If you are worried about cultural appropriation, both in your writing and in your life, the easiest way to avoid that is to:

1) acknowledge and support the culture that created what you’re saying or doing and

2) actually treat them like human beings instead of zoo animals or a species to study. Show respect! It’s not hard!

This is my body, my language, my creation. It’s not just to entertain you! It’s my life! I talk like this because this is how I speak, not because I want to get Tiktok cool points. If I’m around people who treat the way I talk like childish babble, it makes me feel stupid and disrespected. We can see that, and we can read it in your writing.

And yes, you may be saying “well none of that is unique to AAVE, that’s how other languages work!” Okay then go speak those languages then lmao. But if you’re absolutely determined to understand and utilize mine, then you need to treat it with respect and not like the Gen Z slang babble (or worse- the threat) y’all treat it as. It’s a form of antiblackness that is so normalized that we don’t even think about it… but now that you’ve read this lesson, you can start! You can start taking the time to actively dedicate a thought to what you’re saying and doing and where it came from. You can take the time to notice when something isn’t right- and maybe even choose to speak up, because it’s the thought that counts, but the action that delivers.

#creatingblackcharacters #long post #aave #cultural appropriation #language

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girl4music · 10 months ago

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FRAZAR (NOBODY): “I had to see you before I left. You know? Seeing as I might never come back.”

EMILY: “All that? Look, you can’t take that whole me having a vision about how you’re gonna die thing seriously. I am a weirdo. You know that. I’m the crazy one. Right? I’m sure you’re gonna be fine, and-“

FRAZAR (NOBODY): “-Please don’t do that.”

EMILY: “Don’t do what?”

FRAZAR (NOBODY): “Don’t be all fake and happy like the rest of ‘em. You’re the only one who’s ever been real with me about what this war might cost. You’re the only one who’s brave enough to face the truth. You don’t try and peddle some false hope.”

EMILY: “What if hope is all we have?”

FRAZAR (NOBODY): “Sometimes… the most hopeful thing you can do is to look directly at the darkness.

*lightens up the tone*

And by the way, I don’t think you’re crazy.”

EMILY: “You don’t?”

FRAZAR (NOBODY): “No! It’s the world that’s insane. The only thing that makes you different is you’re not afraid to call it like you see it. It’s what makes a great writer. You know? Great writers don’t flinch at the truth, even if it’s tragic. Look at Dante. The Inferno. He went all the way down into hell, came back to tell about it.”

EMILY: “Well… I really hope you come back.”

Wow! What a conversation. What an interaction! That was so well written. Especially the part about how the most hopeful thing you can do is look directly at the darkness. I often say something like that myself. But rather I put it as being authentic in and with the moment as you experience it. Expressing the truth regardless whether it’s positive or negative. Because it’s the truth. It’s what you personally experience - what you feel. Frazar is right. Holding on to hope is no good when it’s not honest. It’ll only serve to make you even more in pain because your expectations of the outcome aren’t realistic. You’ll be much better off seeing things for as they are. It’s less painful in the end. At least in terms of knowing who you are in it. It’s still painful for what it is - of course - but least you can say that you never escaped from the pain you felt. You faced it head on. You looked directly at the darkness. Because pain and darkness aren’t bad things to feel. They’re what make you appreciate pleasure and the light when it is the honest truth, the real experience.

I loved that. I thought that was extremely insightful. Probably the best piece of writing from this show yet and certainly something I’m going to remember in life.

While I wish this kind of conversation could have been between Emily and Sue - for historical accuracy’s sake - I’m glad that they kept it between Emily and Frazar. Yeah, emotional conversations and interactions like this are something I always want from WLW ships in TV art/entertainment because of WLW representation. But the sentiment to get across is still represented so it’s still substantial to me to hear something like this between any characters in TV art/entertainment. The lesson is still there to learn - if you so wish to learn it. And I’m all about that. I’m always all about the education and the storytelling before anything else. It’s really just a bonus to get it between WLW ships because it makes for a real reason to care about them besides from the fact that they’re two women in love. It all helps to build on their relationship and make a foundation for why they are so in love with each other. That’s why I think it’s necessary for the characters in the WLW ship to both be main characters in the show.

But at the end of the day - it’s all down to the intention of the show runner and the writers they employ for it. So you can have any characters with any relationship to or with each other have profound dialogue like this. It’s what I always look for and it’s what I will always regard as what makes me decide whether it’s a good show or not because - as I said - I care about the learning. I don’t care about being entertained. I don’t care about the pleasure principle. I care about the art.

When I truly love something - when it truly hits my heart. I’ll never stop thinking or shut up about it. You know I’m passionate about any art I interact with or engage in when all I can do is express myself on it. It becomes a part of me in such a way that never leaves. It becomes a part of my core. Who I am - what I am. How I identify - how I navigate. “I” disappear within it and end up knowing myself all the more because of it.

After all, I don’t believe in “identity”. It’s too solid and too permanent to ever be able to define that “I Am”. And I think the whole point to this Frazar (Nobody) character is to emphasise that notoriety is pointless because when you’re known for who you are, you become lost in the delusion that you’re ever anyone.

#dickinson #it feels a shame to be alive #emily dickinson #hailee steinfeld #frazar stearns #will pullen #hope #truth #the writers really know their history for a show that is so wacky in its themes and tones #I never really look for historical accuracy because I never place those expectations on creators when they’re just telling their stories #i’m impressed #nobody is an interesting character because he is just nobody #it’s poetic #so it makes sense that emily sees him before she knows who it is #before she identifies him #before he had an identity #very clever idea there #we are nobody until we identify with our experience #but we should realize that experience identifies us #and we never do because we are so conditioned to believe that we have to be somebody #but we don’t #not at any point #because being nobody is the point #stories begin from there #and to keep telling stories #we have to lose ourselves in them #not pretend that they’re ever ours #it is indeed what makes a great writer #because it’s about the writing #it’s not about the writer

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melancholicscoundrel · 10 months ago

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just read My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness. bawled my eyes out. never felt so seen. considering hiring myself an escort.

#I’ve thought about it since I turned 18 but always chickened out for lots of reasons #I don’t agree w the idea that sex is Special and should only be with someone Special #as much of a romantic I am if I keep up that attitude I’ll be lonely forever #I’m so touch starved and broken I pity the hypothetical first lay of mine who will have to be subjected to my insanity #so why should it be with someone for free? they deserve compensation for that. so I should pay a professional. they know what’s up #maybe it won’t feel so bad. knowing they don’t love me and we’ll never have a Real relationship #that could happen w anyone I sleep with? and why should I feel entitled to a relationship with that person? I shouldn’t.#I should just enjoy the activity for what it is and move on with my life. it’s not special. and it would hopefully be cathartic #and maybe heal a little bit of me.. and on top of it all they’ll be compensated for it.#but just like the mangaka my body is disgusting too. I can’t stick w a proper grooming routine to save myself #and rather than a bald spot holding me back from physical intimacy it’s my cystic acne #maybe my acne won’t go away ever. should I really obsess over it so much? should I really prevent myself from being with someone?#maybe I could just wear a mask or tell them not to touch my face.#I've been telling myself for months not to give a fuck about what my parents want of me. what anyone thinks I should be doing #just do what feels right to me. what I know I can handle even if it's not impressive #even if it's the bare minimum to prevent me from killing myself. just try to enjoy the simple things. enjoy being alive #i can be a shitty stay at home writer/artist and a friendless loser and that's okay. I have to try things to start loving myself somehow #being loved shouldn't be my ultimate goal #uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu #my bullshit

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torushawty · 1 year ago

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thank u emmie for posting this, hi so ! first v sorry for the never ending annoying discourse, i’m like not on here anymore but this is needed to add my side of the story especially since i play a part, i had to take my blog of seven months @/kazushawty down for some petty accusations i didn’t start. as well as since i’ve dealt w the same sub post issue/bullying not that long ago this month + similar drama kind of by this creator.

i was mentioned here by another fellow writer (won’t mention to protect their peace) so, i’m gonna speak up because i know i previously said, i have a life and i don’t care about this high school type drama, but what i’m not gonna do is stay quiet and keep my mouth closed while i was being mocked and talked about from the side lines for no reason when i didn’t even do anything

that being said, i have every right to defend myself and i’d like to also speak for any other fellow deactivated writers who lost their hobby or passion of writing just to this unnecessary childish discourse

also this isn’t a post to by any means be hateful i’m just simply sharing my experience

i remember around sometime the beginning of this october right before the discourse started i got two anons on the same day that involved this writer, and me being confused, i answered it because i figured people were being genuine. one was like “is this saetoru’s second account? /gen” and then another was like “i hope this doesn’t come off as weird but you remind me so much of saetoru you guys have the same humor” and i guess they figured i sent those to myself? because it was mentioned (i obviously didn’t, it’s even weird i got not one but two anons that revolved that blog on the same day hm) i honestly didn’t think much of it really, so i answered both and went along with my day.

but then come to find out a day or two the drama started, someone shows me this screenshot from said writer’s main and it revolves around this ask which was revealed of being my @

while i appreciate it a lot, i can see how it would have caused things between writers— however for the anon, there’s no need to pin writers against each other and consider one’s skill better than the other, but i feel like this entire situation was a simple misunderstanding (?) i think it was unintentional but reacted in the wrong way, also i got randomly accused of sending this ask, which again i did not. i’ll say this right now, if you have something you wanna talk about just dm. the only “proof” it was apparently me doing everything was all because of the backwards apostrophe and i do that in my writing sometimes only because (1) …. not everyone has an american keyboard, and also, (2) it could be anyone sending that anon. literally. anyone. so blaming it on one person without solid proof anyway is nuts

my thing is, i was literally never contacted in private to deal with this, only to find out i get blocked not even hours later and talked about after i find out this even happened. i completely understand blocking someone, i am not mad in the slightest about being blocked, you’re utilizing the button, that’s in your right. but to hard block and proceed to bash them behind closed doors is entirely childish in every shape or form.

some might say “no one asked you to deactivate” i left on my own choice and accord, mainly being this discourse shit is not worth it. reason why i’m not on here at all after everything happened. all this for some anime porn about pixels. this is tumblr dot com, this app doesn’t pay my bills or any of my necessities and i know when to not take things serious and this entire thing has been so so so so drawn out. literally i write for fictional characters for fun then out of nowhere i get accused of things with no proof only to then get talked about as if i won’t see it, as if i won’t respond. don’t get me wrong, i hate any types of drama, i don’t care for it but if my name is getting dragged out i’m gonna say something because i have every right to defend myself. if you’re gonna talk about me, at least message me so we can have an adult conversation? 😭 all this ‘hard block and sub post all types of bullshit about this person’ is really.. this is so unneeded. no confrontation happened at all and it’s just so

strange how all this evidence is now all deleted, but i wanna talk about this too, because firstly i didn’t befriend anyone. if anyone knows me, i don’t ask people to be mutuals anymore due to my own comfort reasons. and about my anons on my main being off days before, i never said i got those anons sent from her, i’ve been getting hate silently way before this discourse even happened, i only then decided to speak about it on oct. 9 on my call out post + plus this thing coming out of nowhere on top of the constant racism and hate was just really again, not needed in the slightest.

and again, idk why i kept getting accused of sending anons to this blog when NO PROOF IS BEING SHOWN. how are you gonna accuse someone then not show evidence of what’s being spoken of, let alone confront the person directly. at that point you’re just going off your own word. it makes no sense. like i said, if i have an issue, i’m gonna be an adult and say what i need to say to your face instead of just blocking to only then continue to bring a person’s name up while they clearly can’t speak for themselves

instead of accusing someone, maybe i don’t know, get proof first. because at that point you’re just spreading erroneous false claims. i have no types of time to be living in anyone’s inbox, let alone anonymously. it’s the way this could have easily been prevented and cleared up if i was contacted about the matter, but i literally never was. i got hard blocked for an issue i only found out about many hours later, then i start getting mocked and blamed for doing all types of untrue things—

i’m not gonna immediately assume they’re talking about me in this post like they immediately assumed i was dogpiling them wtv anons but i recall this post that’s now deleted was perhaps sneak dissing me judging from the shawty in my url, also this was right after i deactivated. if i can remember in the asks that was answered about me, i thought you said you didn’t know i existed, so you miss my posts on the dash now? weird

if this ain’t about me, my bad. it is kinda odd.. this is deleted now but just something to think about

this is ridiculous, and really immature. if you have a problem with me you wanna talk about, just spare the energy and @ me or dm. bc all this lame sub posting shit towards people and not confronting them in private is so kiddy, we’re supposed to be adults and stuff like this is happening. what is this, high school? the constant mocking, bashing, and belittling other writers is just really . . i cant depict a word for it, but it’s really concerning.

this is supposed to be a fun place, not a toxic competitive place— this is an app, to write, create or do whatever. and why yes it is sad i was one of the many writers leaving due to this, at the end of the day it’s not the end of the world because i don’t take it serious like most do. tumblr is a hobby, and i won’t get worked up over it. i can always start over again

without tumblr, you’re literally.. just an average person behind a screen lol. no one is a celebrity on here regardless if you’re a big known blog or not. we all do the same thing at the end of the day, and that’s to write about fictional made up characters. i agree, i feel like people weaponize their high following count to do or say whatever they want and not get held accountable.

sadly after reading everyone else’s shared experiences, i’m sure even this won’t do anything. this will pass and then more writers are gonna get ran off. it’s truly not fun to spend time on a platform where such discourse is never ending, but it’s important to know your worth, there’s no shame in deactivating. there aren’t any hard feelings because again, i don’t take this entire thing serious, i wish all parties nothing but the best regardless. logging out and later deleting this acc like i said to move on but that’s all i had to say. it is quite sad to abandon your passion or hobby because of dumb drama, but what’s really important is to protect your peace.

saetoru is talking abt you on her private blog (@/clorindes) yuckkkkk

CW BULLYING, LITERALLY IMMATURE HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA, SUB POSTING.

hi nonnie, thank you for letting me know! since i’m leaving this blog & this platform for the foreseeable future i figured i might aswell get a few things off of my chest before i go. i apologise in advance for the vibes this post will probably bring, the discourse & the posts that will ofcourse follow, but i honestly i am not the first person to be targeted by this creator and i’m sure i won’t be the last considering the amount of creators that have been bullied off of this app by them.

first off i’ve had multiple blogs that would be considered bigger blogs such as @/hvnlydmn, @/atsymu + now this blog which is the biggest of all 3. i think there’s a sort of unspoken responsibility that comes with being a bigger blog which i know is no fun but it’s also because it can be super harmful on a site like this, when people weaponise their following.

on that note i’ll start this post by saying that i’ve known tee for probably around 3/4 years, maybe? we were mutuals on hvnlydmn & atsymu and we continued to talk on discord even when i was off of tumblr. i will honestly admit to this day i have never had a negative interaction with tee to my face and she was genuinely supportive of me during any discourse i was involved in. i am not some angel, i’ve had my fair share of crap on this app (of my own doing) but this post is not meant to come across like “oh she doesn’t like me so i’m calling her out” no. im sorry if this doesn’t line up with my brand and my ‘victim complex’ but i’m not gonna lie down and let someone on a power trip on a hobby app drag me through the mud.

first off i had began to get some off vibes from tee when i had started writing on garoujo, notably when i’d just hit my first milestone which was probably around 1k. during this i had decided to move my instagram theme from my main blog to my writing blog.

i’d noticed tee subposting (on main and on her personal blog which i followed at the time) about someone basically using the same theme as her, which after then clicking onto her blog i realised was an instagram theme. i didn’t think much of it, again me & tee were friends and she hadn’t came to me directly so ignored it. i was still a new blog and trying to solidly an aesthetic (before the beige lol) so i changed my theme / masterlists / layouts a lot.

a few more sub posts later i decided to message tee about it because with every thing i’d change / post on my blog, there always seemed to be another post. so i messaged her and got this response in: (i’ve blurred out my irl name btw) open up pics for convo!

so i let it slide, kept posting & that was that. probably a few days / a week later, tee had soft blocked me which then eventually led to me being hard blocked. i was upset ofcourse because i genuinely considered tee a good friend but i’ve always been a big advocate in controlling your space.

this was when, one of our mutuals in common (the first of many may i add) approached me on discord to say that just like now, i was being ripped to shreds on tee’s personal blog:

again i was notably upset about this because i was being accused of not only copying her theme but also her writing & masterlists, we did have a lot of mutuals in common so it was also upsetting knowing they would all be seeing these posts aswell. i allowed myself one sub post about “creating a narrative” because i was particularly frustrated but tee then also subposted about this, even though she had me blocked?

i would also like to say regarding our mutuals in common that this was not the first or last mutual to approach me regarding tee. i’ve had multiple people tell me that “they’re only mutuals with her because it would be more damaging not to be” “it’s easier to be on her side”. also i am not saying this is okay but i’ve had multiple of her current mutuals send me not only her posts, but screenshots of her private, personal instagram & also tell me about how all of them and their friends had a running joke / theory that tee made up her boyfriend (ex-boyfriend?) for attention.

regarding the accusations from tee i’d like to first comment on the instagram themes, again i had done an instagram theme on my main blog but it seemed to only be an issue when it was on my writing blog that was gaining traction. if the timing was off and it seemed like i copied her, i genuinely have nothing to say except it’s not the case— it’s instagram (which tee already admits she doesn’t own above) also the hanma writing? i’m still not 100% sure which drabbles she was referring to but i can only assume that 1. is when i posted a drabble about hanma fucking you outside of his subordinates house — this was a almost completely word by word rewrite of a suna drabble i done on my old blog @/atsymu i literally just changed the concept to fit tokyo revengers themes. i can post screenshots of this suna drabble also from my google docs dated February when i deactivated. the other one may have been some basic concept about him fucking you against the window.

she also mentions in the very first recent screenshot at the beginning of this post that i have apparently stolen concepts of fics / posts from her mutuals. what i want to say regarding this is, do you believe that i would have made it this far on stolen work? i don’t know any of the mutuals she’s referring to apart from 1 which i’ll get into. but every single accusation i’ve ever received has always come from someone associated or in contact with tee, she has always been at the root of it all but i have yet to receive a single anon or ask about me copying or taking inspiration from anyone’s work.

i know there was apparently a blog and an ex mutual of mine, who i had a lot of respect & time for who was under the impression i’d stolen their concept for this gojo fic. the whole premise of this fic is honestly not uncommon considering how many times people losing control of their techniques / powers / quirks during orgasm has been done in fanfiction. this concept was completely my own, i had originally posted shitposts about him losing control of his technique & also him putting you into a mating press / breeding before i’d decided to smoosh them together into a fic. we all read from the same workbook, we all have the same material to work off of — two people in a fanbase of THOUSANDS having a similar idea is not unheard of.

now onto the masterlist banners. the screenshot on the far left are the comparison photos that tee made herself— i’m sure you’ll be able to see them in better quality when she makes her own post about it; because obviously that’s going to come. first off i will say, i will admit i took inspiration from her official art masterlist banners — i thought hers looked good and i needed a masterlist so i used official art. fair game there although i only kept them for a few days before i changed again.

but onto the grey masterlist banners, i can honestly say i did not even know tee had this masterlist, also the only comparison i myself see is the colour. the only reason i chose grey was because i had started to use a grey / white overlay on my manga panels for my layout (as you can see far right), and as you know— i’ve always kept my colour scheme pretty consistent. on that note, regarding the actual layout of the masterlists— i’ve added screenshots from atsymu (that i could find due to it being deactivated) that shows the layout of my old masterlists, which was what i took inspiration from for my current. although the title font for each heading like headcanons is different, i had used the sort of old style, basic font that everyone uses before i had deactivated so it would match my fic headers i just don’t have photos obviously.

anyway on the back of this there was then discourse over me apparently copying tee’s kinktober masterlist, which again was not the case. but again due to tee’s following i had received multiple death threats into my asks the morning after i posted mine. as far as i was aware, the only similarities were the fact we both used gifs in our headers & the layout listing thirsts, hcs & fics (which is very common during kinktober but i admitted below i could see that similarity). unfortunately during all of this discourse was when ffflowers, my hate blog also came into the mix which then lead to tee reaching out to me in dm’s from her old blog.

the interaction between me & tee was pretty good, again she was nothing but nice to me directly despite the way she obviously spoke about me in private above. but as you can see below, tee herself told me that basically most of the similarities all made above were brushed off as basic. we spoke about the ig themes & i apologised, saying i could understand where she was coming from and that was that. i unblocked her & she unblocked me so i could reblog her post, it’s been that way since.

it is not my place to comment on other people’s experiences on this app but i would need more than 2 hands to list the amount of people that i’m sure have had similar if not worse experiences with tee. i know i have had multiple mutuals who have been bullied off of this platform & had their safe space ripped from them for little things such as: liking a character that this group selfship with, tee and her friends not liking their characterisation. they’ve even went as far as to go through other larger creators notes to check for minors so they can make excuses as to why they’re thriving.

i also know of a blog who was ‘blacklisted’ from tee & her mutuals as they self shipped with arataki itto at the time, one of tee’s friends also did, so they blacklisted this creator and had all of their mutuals block them for this which then in turn drove this creator off the app. there has been other notably bitchy things that i’ve heard but i have no receipts for therefore i don’t see any relevance in starting rumours.

i would also like to say i know plagiarism is a horrible thing, we have all been through it— myself included but it’s got to the point where being accused of copying tee has become a canon event. notably, bigger platforms have been ruined and driven off of this app for little things such as mdni dividers, similar colours schemes etc. and it’s the reason i’m also leaving.

i will say i have met some amazing people through my discourse with tee, notably people who have been in similar situations and i also apologise to any mutuals who we still have in common who are now sort of stuck inbetween. no hard feelings. although to tee: id be careful of the people you trust because it seems the loyalties they have to you are not as sincere as you may believe. you can also go to her personal & read the other things she was saying about me like how she was always so ? at how many people seemed to like me.

so that’s all i have to say, i’m sure dash will get a few responses from this but i’ll be logging out & turning off asks because honestly? couldnt care less. the only thing i’d change about my experience on this app would be i wish i’d blocked tee sooner.

i’d say have a nice day, but instead, have the day you deserve.

— emmie :)

#i’ve been meaning to get this off my chest the entire month omd #i tried being discrete & peaceful when i left but i’m not gonna be quiet when untrue things r being spoke ab me #also the little sly remark at saying you’re not impressed at my writing #cannot be serious #are you the smut police? can i write how i write please #i don’t judge your writing so don’t judge mine lmao #this honestly concerning on how people think they can just say whatever on this app bc of their status #pls to any writers here’s some advice: HAVE FUN and do not base your entire focus on your following #also . . be nice to other people #sad i have to say that #as long as you’re enjoying your hobby you will be just fine #ight i’m done this is so CHILDISH 😭#anyways fuck this shit i’m gonna watch fnaf #10/10 rec #take care u guys ily 🫶🏽#tw discourse

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