#but anyways i wish to interact more with other moots

[sorryimananti-romantic]

spread some love !

talk about your favourite mutuals and why you like them

answering this one bc now is the time to say sweet things that i'll never say otherwise [also apologising for being annoying and tagging yall so much recently]

@hwaightme i wish i could write like her, she makes me feel like i'm watching a movie when i read her fics and she's the sweetest person i've ever ever met i admire her sm i wish i could give her a hug

@starrysvn tho we've not interacted much you're someone i think about a lot! there's just sth special about you and i hope you know that <3

@yunnierights you've been here for so long my old friend pls always stay the same i love your energy sm

@lunehong you're literally the sweetest and your reblogs always make me go :')

@kbandtrash my fav siblings duo. can't wait for rachel to come back and megan is literally the cutest person <3

@my-loves-my-life another old moot! i love your hashtags reblog energy so much! you're so sweet and im always sending virtual hugs to you whenever i see you on my dash

@lavishloving i wish i had better vocab than sweet but she is it. love our interactions and love how you're literally reading everything (almost everything i've read since i followed you is bc you reblogged it you're like my personal fics collection blog now)

@atxxzist i love simping over san with her :') let's keep doing that forever hehe

@eightmakesonebraincell idk i think i love her or sth 🙄

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

[theleechyskrunkly]

101 FOLLOWERS!!!!

Guys I genuinely couldn’t be more thankful 🥹 I never thought I’d make it above even 50 followers, so to have reached a milestone of over 100 is just so mind blowing to me. I want to take all of you who have gotten me here, but especially my dearest mutuals, you guys are so amazing 😭🙏

I’d like to give my most special thanks to my irl who introduced me to Tumblr in the first place! @enigmatic-pers seriously THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR INTRODUCING ME TO THIS COMMUNITY PERS, YOURE THE BEST OF THE BEST!!!!

Now on to ALL my mutuals, because you guys are all so fucking amazing I can’t even begin to explain it!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH @thehollowwriter !!!! YOUR WRITING AND OCS ARE SO AMAZING YOU DONT EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH I ADMIRE YOU 🫵🫵🫵💖💖💖

YOU JUST KEEP GETTING BETTER @xen-blank AND EVEN THOUGH WE DONT TALK MUCH I STILL LOVE SEEING YOU IN MY FEED, APPRECIATE YOU TONS ‼️‼️

YOU ARE GENUINELY ONE OF THE SWEETEST MUTUALS I HAVE @oya-oya-okay WE DONT TALK MUCH BUT I REALLY ENJOY SEEING YOU IN MY FEED AND WATCHING YOUR ART IMPROVE! SENDING SO MUCH LOVE 💕

YOU 🫵🫵🫵 @cyanide-latte YOU AND YOUR SILLIES BRING ME ETERNAL JOY!!! I hope your life is filled with wonderful things and I BEST be seeing more of those silly babies (OCs) of yours 💗💗💗

I EAT UP EVERYTHING YOU POST SO HARD @tixdixl LIKE YOU DONT EVEN KNOW??!?!?!!?! You are like the chill guy (gender neutral) of my mutuals 😭 your energy is so calm and nice to interact with, ADORE YOU AND YOURS OCS 💗💗💗

😈 @distant-velleity you… YOU… YOOUUUUUU GRRRAAAAAAHHHHHH My brother in arms when it comes to OC torture, peak interactions but your taste is questionable Kai 😄 (fishkisser 🫵/neg)

I sense your presence and wish I could marry you (we’ve divorced twice) @elenauaurs your art tips on drawing what I feel like are marvelous, you’re genuinely a very caring person and I LOVE LOVE LOVE you energy. Love you to bits Elena 🫶🫶🫶

We didn’t interact much, but you’re an oddball just like me fr, and for that I like you 😈🫵 @nahelenia

Bro. Bro. That are you made of Aurinelle? Literally my reference for everything. If someone asks about him? I show him that image. You are FUCKING AMAZING!!!!! FOREVER CREDITED YOURE SO FUCKING AWESOME 🔥🔥🔥 @ghostiidasponk

SHOOPYYYYYYY AAAARRRRGHHHHHH @boopshoops YOURE SO COOL AAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I actually adore your art and the effort you put into your OCs, you’re very cool and one of my favorite twst artists out there. Keep it up 💞💞💞‼️‼️

We haven’t interacted in a while, but your art is honestly so cute and funny!!!! I love your humor and you’re honestly great <3 @saikira999 HOPE YOU GET MORE RECOGNITION FOR YOUR SKILLS IN THE FUTURE <<33

*stares deep into your eyes with my scary brown orbs 👁️👁️* Well, well, well… If it isn’t one of my favorite artists whom I didn’t even realize I was mutuals with for the longest time ever 🙂 @oathofoaks YOU PRICK I DIDNT EVEN KNOW YOU HAD A SECOND BLOG FOR THE LONGEST TIME 👹👹👹 anyways. YOURE SO FUCKING COOL AND AMAZING YOI DONT EVEN KNOW!!!! Def top 3 favorite twst artists, without a doubt! its an honor to be your mutual ☺️☺️💕

MY MOOTHEERRRR!!!! MY ELDER SIBLING!!!!!!! AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN!!!!!!!! @twistedwonderlandshenanigans my top notch cheerleader (and opp because those chanclas hurt 😢😢😢) you have NO IDEA how much I appreciate you being in my life. Your encouragement and sweet words of comfort bring an immeasurable joy to my days, and every time we interact I get EXTREMELY giddy. LOVE YOU TO PIECES V 💞💞💞💓💓💓💓💖💖💖

Literally my other half because who tf is you and who told you you could match my freak 🤨🤨🤨🤨 @lumdays I hope a boulder falls on your head and Jade Juca Leech appears to save you <3 /aff

HIIIIII DARLING 🤪🤪🤪💖💖💖💓💓💓 @amatsuchan-eiliniel literally so lovely, sweet, and amazing 🤩 I want you to know I love you so so much, and you will forever be THE ROOK TO MY VIL <<<333 🏹👑

Another moot who I don’t interact with NEARLY as much as I would like to, but I appreciate you regardless @br3adtoasty your art is MESMERIZING 🤩🤩🤩‼️‼️‼️

HIIII ELLIS HIHIHIHIHI @starry-night-rose my coquette pink girl comrade ALL THE WAY!!! Love love love your sweet kind energy, you’re truly adorable and I hope for great things in your life 💓💓

[coastxlwaters]

Yawns and stretches

Well uh... I wasnt planning on making one of these bc i appreciate everyone so much i cant put it into words... But ah. Lets go

This is gonna be extremely cheesy, also remember im making this half asleep and even fully awake i couldn’t explain how much i care for you all

No specific order, lit just what pops up as moot first:

@escapetheslaughters Hey Ze! I love your ideas and creativeness, even if at times i have to back away due to my uncomfortableness with ykw related topics. You are by far one of my most trusted moots even though i trust all of them with my life, and i wish i could call you my father, but im happy to atleast call you my friend

@eternal-soup Hey soup, god you have pulled me through some rough times without even knowing it. I cant tell you how much i treasure our few and far between interactions but god you are just a great person to call my friend. I cant put it into words for how muchi care for you, but if i ever hear that someone was rude to you i would go to war on your behalf

@eclipsen-smiles Hey Clips Mod, i dont know you too well but you do take up a special place in my heart, you are a very wonderful person with great character building, i wish i could say i knew you more but i respect that you find more likeness in others and not me, im just happy that i know you well enought to call you a friend

@theinfamousmaybelle hi maybelle!i dont know you too much but when we do interact it calms many of my always frazzled nerves!

@im-just-a-dumb-gay Hey Gay, oh god icant put into words how much i appreciate you. You wereone of my first ever moots and i am so happy i have had the fortune to have you in my life

@inkyucu Hey Inky! We may not interact much but i hold you near and dear to my heart, you always know the right thing to say somehow and always make my days better!

@itsahotminuteinbetween hey minute! Oh god, agajn, i cant put it into words but you are a treauredpart of my life i could have never hoped for, as i aslent lurker myself i always understand you not being able to interact much due to social anxiety and i appreciate whenever you become braveenough to interact with me, i am trying to telepathically hug u as i type this i hope you feel it-

@obsessivecelestial i havent known you for long, Celestial, but you make people i care for happier than i ever wish i could, please, please continue to be their friend because you have an untouched power for making people happy

@o-i-w-u hey Charlie! I miss when we were able to interact alot, but i still silentl lurk through your blog for memories of when we would interat alot. You pulled me through one of the roughest times i have ever had and i still appreciate the hand you offered for mine

@potatotato-26 Hey Tato, god, i miss you so much. I think about you every single day, your anxiety about uour art, your little quirks, you bring light to many people and i ask you continue to do so even if ur not in the tsams fandom anymore, u will forever be one of my role models

@strawberry-arrowtip Prime, Prime, Prime, i cant put inro words how much i just LOVE u /p, you have been there for me since my early days under the user of ’CoastxlWaters’ or ’Xellia_eclipse’ you have been one of the best role models for me and i cherish ur existence in my life, though i cant decide whether you are brother figure or father figure <3

@froggielovescoffee Oh Forrest,god your terrifying in a good way, i cant believe i have an amazing artist following me of all people, much less being able to call you a friend!

@h-didanart H, H, H H H H, god I have always loved your stuff and always will your aus fascinate me and your support for whenever I try to do something has never went unappreciated, also, you made one of my absolute bestest of friends as happy as they are, and I think you know who they are, wink wink

@just-a-normal-nova Nova I cannot stress how much I care for you, you are literally part of my family in my head, your older brother btw💥 but anyways, god i hope you get the man ur looking at and i hope you are the happiest you can ever be even if i have to someday leave you behind in my online life

@knizuu Same as your brother, Knizuu, i cant put into words how much i care baout you, i am hugging you and burying my head in ur chest out of appreciation rn

@letthebloodrunlikeariver we dont talk much but for fuck’s sake you are treasured, treasured i tell u, treasured.

@liminal---nightmare-aliza oh Liminal- oh god i miss u so much... I hope you are living a great life even ifim not even noticed in it

@loony2star LOONY, LOONY LOONY LOONY, OH LOONY, GOD I CANT PUT MY APPRECIATION INTO WORDS BUT YOU ARE- SOSOSO- GREAT? AMAZING? TREASURED? SOMETHING LIKE THAT!-

@creaturenamedchoir Choir i literally cant say anything when it comes to you, when i do all i end up seeing in my head is me hugging ur sona with my shark onesie with caption: ’Big brother’

@brightsstar i dont know u that well but ur creations lighten my mood every time i see one!

@multifandomcutie13 oh god u are so treasured in my life i think ill cry if i try to explain, even if u are ominous smt with ur messaging and get the wrong idea you are still an amazing person!

@mellonaide-skys KASHI, I think you know how much i appreciate you, i could make entire posts for every single one of my moots and you would still be in my mind waiting for ur turn to be yelled at with appreciation

@morriganfey i call u every day, u help me through some of the worst times in my life, i cant put my appreciation into words but everytime i hear your voice i smile and my self deprecating thoughts become a little less heavy, i care for you more than almost everyone else on this list. I am sorry for anyone else reading this, but Fey has heard me crying and helped me more than i could even hope for

@capring *sobs into ur chest* i care for you so much i cant tell you how much of an impact you have made on my life and not sound like im overexagerating but you certainly had a huge impact like Fey’s, i care for you deepky and wish i could flick a wand and watch yoir worrkes melt away

@librarian-computer My unbelievably anxious friend, you are treasured and u can talk to me about anything, though i do ask that u message me when u lose motivation for an rp so i can cut it off or try to help <3

@bittyfromquotev you are a role model and i cant say nothing else without sounding really, really crazily happy and i sadly have reputation to uphold

@sunny-inajar ifyou killed me i would die happily/silly but actually, you were one of the biggest motivations in my life and you continue to be, im so happy i have the continued ability to call you a moot

My hands are hurting from all this typing and i know this isn’t everyone byfar but im in more pain than i am in when doing chicken scratches to vent-

I love all of you

So much

I am so tired and slow

I hope i worded this right

But you are truly gifts in my life

Everyone of my moots and people i trust

You are all gifts

[utilitycaster]

Wait sorry I will discourse over basically anything but I literally do not see the point in having any thoughts over Orym telling Keyleth Imogen is Liliana's daughter other than "yeah Captain Obvious"; this is not like, trampling over someone else's viewpoint, this is "Imogen said something very unclear and the entire interaction made Orym's statement virtually moot anyway":

Probably most importantly, Keyleth isn't stupid and has, per the TCSR, +12 to insight. You think she sees a human woman with hair the exact same not-typically-found-in-humans shade of Liliana's and goes "golly gee who could that be?"

This happens immediately after an exchange in which FCG hedges on whether Liliana should be destroyed, and Imogen (again: looks a lot like Liliana) hesitantly says "well, she didn't help" and then proceeds to talk about how she too has powers that involve a bright white light and strange things happening after, and that it's wishful thinking to believe Liliana did something last minute to help. Again. Keyleth has +12 to insight and a positive intelligence score.

Marisha as Laudna suspects that Keyleth suspects but rolls low on insight, ie, the cast is openly thinking that Keyleth might be aware of the connection.

The exact words Imogen says to Orym are "Do you think you should tell her what y'all saw." This is extremely vague. I did not myself in the moment think this meant "the Raven Queen's vision"; I thought it meant more details of what had happened at the Tishtan site, especially in context of the prior discussion, which was about Liliana and not about Vax. I would not be surprised if Orym (and for that matter Liam) had a similar interpretation.

[mondaymelon]

MERRY CHRISTMAS !!! gifts ensue.

he really went. blep. hi user @ilyuu. im proud of this one so congrats wanderer takes home first gift wooo

lmao id like to apologise in advance as this was brought on because of me but I got super burnt out drawing like 20 of these over the course of 2 days... if you see the quality of the drawings declining ( which you will ) please don't mind it!! thank you.

@anonbinaryweirdo. sigh. i get whiplash whenever you're super nice and then in the span of the next three seconds immediately do something vile

@soleillunne. we don't talk much but from what I know you are such a sweet person omg !! and your works??? dies inside (in a good way). the way you write xiao maks me so. puddle like

@realkavehgf. we agree on one things (amongst others) and that is that kaveh is. kAVEH IS. MALFUNCTIONS PERISHES.

@emphasisondrvgs. you scare me. please take your ranpo and quietly see yourself out LMAO /j

@pjsk-writin. AMIMI ONE OF MY FIRST EVER MOOTS !!! im so proud of mikoto. sighs. straitjackets are smth else to draw .. BUT HES SO. MMMMMM !!!!

@circyexistforcontent AAAHHH HI PRECIOUS. I LIKE YOU BUT I DONT REALLY LIKE DILUC SO. TAKE THIS... quietly throws up

@whats-it-mean. puka puka. head empty. puka puka. please stop your affairs with my mother.

@falors. UGLY SOBS. UGLY CRIES. I LOVE YOU /P SM. WAAHHHH TEARS TEARS TEARS you are the most talented person ever I S T G gRAAAHHH YOU BETTER GET 18412409128410948 FOLLOWERS THIS YEAR OR I WILL RIOT. mwah.

@dustofthedailylife. omg. hi dust... tbh ive been so concerned for you recently with how much life is running you over with a pickup truck so wishing for your improved health soon !! alhaith is a smort guy what can I say

@the-white-void. DEAREST. literally one of the first people I ever interacted with on this platform and you're actually. like. literally one of the sweetest people I have ever met. KLEE IS SUCH A CUTIE FJSFJDK

@kaeffeinee. OMG. m..my kitten- woah WHO just said that. wild shit right there. have something you don't like?? have something that's been pestering you for far too long?? no worries. its the official nag seal of mendokusai !!!!

@lillonvia. sobs. I didn't do the man justice.loud sobs. DFSDDSF YOUR ART MAKES ME WANT TO LIKE DISENTAGRAT INTO GLOWING BALLS oF FUZZ AND FLOAT INTO THE HEAVENS I DONT KNOW HOW ELSE TO DESCRIBE IT. WE ARE SO DELULU oVER XIAO. FOAMS AT THE MOUTH

@absolutelyobsessedkiya. HELP WHY IS MINORI SO BRIGHT.... she's literally shining what. we need to talk more pspsspsp I just now found out that you're a fan of milgram!! remember like last year I was all 'whose that pretty pink person on their pfp??' AND NOW I FINALLY KNOW THATS ITS MUU RAHHHH

@auroratumbles. meow. cat. what a sweetie. I don't even know what my art style is doing here anymore Istg what even. what even BYE LETS TALK ABOUT XIAO LATER !!

@papiliotao. mwah. a kith for you. mWAH. ANOTHER KITH. SJFKSDJFLS GRAHHH YOU ARE THE SW E. E T E ST AND YOUR THE SWEETEST AND YOUR CAT IS THE SWEETEST AND YOUR VOICE IS MAKING ME WANT TO ELEVATE INTO THE CLOUDS AND YOURE SO SILLY EVEN THOUGH YOU DONT LIKE AKITIO SHINONOME

@yinyinggie. hihihi ying !! it honestly amazes me how you're able to juggle so many events and servers at once. im actually in awe. always look at xiao he's so emo and short

@solxima. GRAHHH HI. I DONT LIKE HOW JINGYUAN LOOKS IN THIS BUT. DLJFLSDJ DIES> I CANT DO THIS AN Y M O RE. your honor. hes so cat coded hes so cat coded he's so PERISHS

@yelshin. WAIIIIT NO YOUR NAME GOT CUT OFF> iM SORRY. I don't know why he looks... so r e g a l in this but its definitely giving off oRAtRice MecAnIquE DAnAlySe CARdiNAle .

@vennnnn-diagram. LOUD SCREAMING N O . YOUR NAME GOT CUT OFF TOOOODJSKFLSD JGAIJFAD JKLJFD:LFS. anyways. I need to see nahida smiling more she deserves everything and then some. aranaras are so silly giggles

@lume-nosity. I hold the slightest bit of guilt for putting your angsty ish drawing right next to happy lil nahida buT AHAHAH IT MAKES IT HURT MORE IG. took some inspo from your blog title... mwah ily lume. I WAS SO SCARED TO TALK TO YOU AT FIRST WHEN I SENT YOU THAT MOOT ASK BUT I AM EVER SO HAPPY THAT I DID !!!

th end. im actually so dead lmao my fingers actually were starting to bleed afklsdjfaskdjfklsdjflkasdjflksjflkjowejtoij enjoy your Christmas gifts mooties !! if anyone asks why I haven't been posting fics as promised. this is why. ill be in a coffin for a while please let my soul rest

OH AND FORGOT TO MENTION I DREW THESE BASD ON THE MOOTIES THAT COMMNTED ON MY THINGY LIKE LAST WEEK WHICH ASKED WHICH CHARACTER THY WANTD I LOVE YOU ALL PSPS I PROMIS

[wildemaven]

Okay, so I guess this sits in the realm of Confessions.

I'm thinking about leaving tumblr. I'm not sure what I did or didn't do to cause this, but the people I thought of as my friends or at least closest moots hardly interact with me anymore. My posts, my fics, my reblogs, my comments to them... They are around, I see them on my dash, but...

It all sounds so middle school, but it hurts nonetheless, and I'm pretty sure anything that feels like middle school (even actual middle school) can't be good for anyone.

The thing is, I really love everyone, and I don't want to give up. But going around to literally dozens of peoples DMs to ask, "Do you like me?" "Are we still friends?" "Are you mad at me?" Is again a kind of painful kid trauma thing I just can't quite bring myself to do.

I feel like my time here is just sort of over. I started with little expectation, and to my surprise, I found community, felt well liked and valued, and then, it just sort of went away.

There was a time when I was really happy about my place here, and just that makes me so sad.

You don't have to answer or anything. I think it just feels kind of cathartic to write it down where if nothing else someone else will read it.

Anyway... I guess that's it.

Held on to this for a little bit because my heart aches for you and I want to wrap you in the biggest hug 💕 I felt I could have written something so similar, as so many are relating to this right now.

It’s so hard to not feel like you’re feeling when you see people you’ve connected with slowly pull away from you. It hurts even more when they’re still active but actively avoiding you. That fucking hurts deep.

There was a time when this space felt very welcoming and fun. And while I do still have fun, sometimes it doesn’t feel as welcoming— and I know I’m not the only one feeling this.

Cliques branch off, popularity fuels some to feel like they’re too good to interact with others, the vibe isn’t vibing like it use to. And like you mentioned, it can all make you feel like you’re being thrown back in middle schools wondering why you’re not good enough? What did you do to cause this? What’s the point of even being here in this space any longer?

I’m so sorry this has become your reality. I wish it was a simple fix or there was a perfect solution to make things better. I support whatever decision you make, your wellbeing and mental health matter most— just know this community will be a little less bright without you in it!!

You said I didn’t have to post this, but I want others who might be feeling the same to know they’re not alone at all. There’s a lot of us floating around with the same exact thoughts and feeling like we just no longer belong in this space.

You’re more than welcome to jump in my DMs or continue sending anonymous messages to my inbox if that helps you in any way 💕

Coffee Shop Asks

[iid-smile]

hi... rhis might sound really random?? but ill be going on an indefinite hiatus. nothing bad is going on except studying and lack of inspo... just lost my love for writing, thats all.

(if u wanna know more which i doubt u can look in the read more... its really long + a bit at the beginning for moots so you dont have to scroll down) (this is unbelievably long)

to all of my moots, even those who i dont engage with as much, this might sound a little weird/creepy but i do check your blogs when i have the time. even if its just checking if youve updated and im just like "ooo so and so was here earlier" or "[insert moots/other blogs] are interacting! how fun" call it nosy but im just really interested in seeing you guys active lol

i may not directly say so, but i get worried when there isnt an update for a while... like i get worried when youre not here and i wish you the best, and im happy when you reappear again. sometimes i only have the time to skim through my following and like the most recent post, but i want to show that i see you all <3 its kind of embarrassing how upset i get when i see everyone is awake when im asleep and it feels a little late to compliment a new theme change when i didnt notice it earlier

i try to go into askboxes when i can (scary because i want to interact but idk what to say) and i guess some times ive been ignored...? thats okay! like i get it but i kinda dont... we're not just moots for the fb because followers arent that important to me. even for moots that dont mainly write for a fandom im in i do try to check for one that i can read and understand! (even trying to get into hq now bc a lot of my newer ones are into it judging by what i see on the dash) now that i think about it i really couldve just gone to the masterlists so thats my fault..

im not saying i expect frequent interactions because im more than happy just being moots in the first place, but im trying to say that new and old moots, i do love you guys and i want the best for you. it doesnt matter how close we are or if theres barely any interactions, i dont want you to feel stress or pressure and you should live good lives! 💗 im happy that we managed to meet on this huge platform! 🫶🫶🫶

(i really hope this didnt come off wrong because i dont dislike any of you at all! i think it sounds like im complaining but i just want friends and its personally difficult for me both just me as a person and because of timezones 😭)

ANYWAYS THE MAIN PART

i dont mean to blame any of you, but its kind of pressuring asking for a part two. like, it is flattering trust me, because it means you enjoy the work and want more. for some its probably obvious what fic im talking about but when theres already 50+ comments asking for a part two, and you add more onto that, it feels more like an obligation to do so. im sure i can see that theres many comments asking when the next part is, so dogpiling on top of it is just not a great feeling as a writer.

i think some people forget that writers write in their free time. its not a job and theres not really much satisfaction you can get out of it except knowing that theres people who love what you write. there are moments where i write a lot, and like right now, im not writing at all. i cant force myself to no matter how much i know i need to write, because then the result is unsatisfactory. this happens every time i try to do an event and i feel SO bad because youre probably so excited to receive work born from your own idea and im just not doing it??

i want you guys to enjoy what i write, but i only want to put out the best quality. on multiple occasions, even with no pressure, i feel like ive completely messed up something ive written because of my own standards. the more followers you accumulate, the better the writing should be, right? or thats what im thinking for myself... if i get embarrassed when i see somebodys liked it, then clearly i havent done well enough to consider it to be good. ive deleted many of my works if you havent noticed. the wbk ones are still up i think but i just dont think theyre good enough to be on my mlist.

ive never really mentioned engagement before... and i know im guity of it as well, but i do make an effort to. im not saying you have to reblog everything you read, but even just the occasional one that you really love, which is what i do. i havent gotten around to making a reblog sideblog just yet because i dont have the time, but just know that if i did, every fic that i like would have a reblog as well. followers and likes arent as important to me as reading or acknowledging that people want to share my work.

i dont feel as proud of my more liked fics compared to this one for example (even tho its one of my most popular bllk works but u get the point). it makes me sm happier just seeing a little comment or tag in the reblogs. its funny, and i actually did smile every time, because i really wasnt expecting people to like it that much or even get comments at all

please dont feel bad if you havent been engaging like this! im not ungrateful. we've all been there, and youre already doing good showing some form of appreciation by liking it. im glad that my hard work and improvement over six months has led me to this point.

and another thing, telling me to off myself really isnt as motivating as you think, even as a joke.

[440mxs-wife]

The Country Doctor, Chapter 3: The "Ex" Factor

Pairing: Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy x F!Reader (eventual). Other Characters are the usual suspects: Jim Kirk, Nyota Uhura (mentioned). OMC's Travis Myers and Miles Cooper.

Word Count: 4812

Warnings: Divorce, break-up, ruthless businessmen, mention of destruction of property, an encounter with an ex that doesn't end well, Leonard being supportive and comforting, Jim being his usual, charming, mischievous self

Summary: Fresh off of his divorce, Dr. McCoy receives word that he has inherited a 5,000-acre farm and home in Logan, Montana. Finally, he has an opportunity for a clean slate and to start his own clinic out west and leave his ex-wife behind. Along the way, he'll meet a cast of unique characters, each with a place in his new small-town life. But there could be trouble ahead in the form of a powerful CEO hell-bent on acquiring Leonard's property by any means necessary.

A/N: This idea was posted by @hailbop1701, with a specific list of plot points/dialog to be included. I won't put the list here, because it'll give away too much. Not sure how many parts there'll be, but I hope you like where I take the story.

A/N 2: If you’ve been tagged here, it’s because you’ve interacted one or more times on a McCoy story of mine, or we’re moots. Whether you like or reblog, I am eternally grateful for your support. If anyone else would like to be tagged on any future Karl Urban character postings, or would rather leave the Crazy Train, please let me know. Thank you, and enjoy the show!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Previously: "And just what in the hell are you doing here?"

"Wow, it's good to see you too," Travis grinned smugly.

"I wish I could say the feeling was mutual, but we both know that'd be a lie," you retorted. "So, I ask you again--what. are. you. doing. here?"

"Since you asked soooo nicely, I'm here to speak to Dr. McCoy, is he in?" Travis sneered.

"Not unless you're here to see him as a patient, and I already know you're not. Therefore, you need to leave," you snapped. "Door's behind you. I suggest you use it."

"Such hostility!" Travis gasped, feigning shock. "If this is the way Dr. McCoy runs his clinic, I can't imagine you have too many--" he smirked but was interrupted.

"'Too many' what?" Leonard interrupted. "Is there some sort of problem here?" he inquired, eyes narrowed, with his arms folded across his chest.

"Oh! Good afternoon, Dr. McCoy. Uh, no, no problem at all. My name is Travis Myers, and I believe we've spoken on the phone a few times, if you remember?" With no response, he continued. "Ah. Right. Well, unfortunately, on my last visit to your lovely estate, I wasn't given an adequate opportunity to discuss a pending business matter. I am here on behalf of NorthStar Corp--" he started to explain but was once again cut off.

"I know who you're working for, and I'll bet they told you to do anything and everything to get me to sell," Leonard replied, arms still crossed. Despite the gravity of the situation, you nearly drooled at the way his shirt stretched over his torso and how nicely his biceps were contained within the fabric.

"As a matter of fact, they did. Anyway, I'm sure you'll find that the terms of our latest offer are more than generous. I've been given quite a bit of leeway to negotiate on their behalf and close this deal, but--" Travis started.

"Look, Trevor, I'll save you and NorthStar Corp a whole heap o' trouble. I ain't interested in money. If I was, I wouldn't be accepting fresh peach cobbler and homemade ice cream as payment for services rendered. So, you can just go on back to Mr. Big Shot and tell him I ain't movin' out of my Uncle Walter's home. The people here are warm and friendly, and I like bein' their doctor," he declared with an air of finality. Then he threw you a small wink, causing a flash of heat in your cheeks.

The intentional name slip-up and your reaction to McCoy's last gesture to you did not go unnoticed by Travis. Interesting, he thought. He knew of Leonard's divorce, and that it's at least partially what brought him to town. But how did you fit into the picture? Were the two of you more than work colleagues?

Leonard was fairly new in town, and Travis learned that you had moved here shortly after the break-up. For some reason, seeing you interacting with the good doctor, standing by him, stirred some feelings of jealousy. You used to do that for him, accompany him to business dinners, hang on his arm and make him look good. Now that attention was saved for someone else and he didn't like it.

Travis pushed these thoughts to the side for the moment to focus on the matter at hand. "Very well, Doctor. I'll be sure to relay your message to Mr. Cooper. However, I must warn you that he is highly motivated to close this deal. As my most persistent client, he is accustomed to getting what he wants. Every time, and without exception. Think about our offer, won't you? Good evening to you both," he remarked confidently before he exited the clinic.

***

He returned to his car and drove back to his motel room to reflect on his encounter with you and Dr. McCoy. He realized this was going to be more difficult than he originally thought. He was going to have to pull out all the stops if he wanted to close this deal. He was ready to do whatever was necessary to get McCoy to sign to protect his interests and those of his client.

Mr. Cooper didn't tolerate failure in any form, and after the way the conversation in the clinic went, he needed to fix this and fast. If he didn't, the firm he worked for was likely to fire him because they couldn't afford to lose such a big client. No way was he going to allow you to interfere with his success because of the animosity in your shared past. He was willing to protect his social and economic status at all costs.

In the cupholder beside him, his phone rang. The caller ID showed it was Bradley, so he gave the approval to patch through a call from Mr. Cooper. "Good evening, sir, I was just about to call you and--" Travis started but his client interrupted.

"Never mind that, Myers, what do you have for me?" Cooper demanded.

He mentioned his earlier discussion with Dr. McCoy and his run-in with you at the clinic. "I explained that our offer was more than generous and that you were committed to the deal. However, he won't budge, said he's happy being a 'country doctor'," he sneered. "I made it clear that you were highly motivated and would prevail in this situation, but I don't think it had any effect."

Cooper was silent on the other line, which was uncomfortable for Travis. He was used to hearing this client's blustering on the other end with his commands and domineering attitude. The longer the silence stretched on, the more nervous Travis became.

Finally Cooper heaved a deep sigh. "I'm quite disappointed, Myers. I thought you would've closed the deal by now, but I see my faith in you has been misplaced. I'm a busy man, and can't afford to wait any longer. You're fired."

"'Fired', sir??" Travis exclaimed. "Mr. Cooper, with all due respect, I think I've got something to convince McCoy to sign, if I can just talk to him again. If I could get a little more t–"

"No. You had your chance to close a no-brainer deal with a simple country doctor, and you blew it. I'm sure I can find someone else to manage my account and get this deal done." With that, Mr. Cooper hung up, leaving Travis to stare at his now-blank phone screen.

Not long after, he received a call from his boss, also firing him from the firm for failing to meet his objective. Devastated and at a loss for what to do next, he phoned his fiancée for some comforting words. However, she had already heard about him being fired and that he was likely blacklisted from ever working as a financial advisor again. For those reasons, she was moving out of their shared apartment and broke off their engagement.

I've lost everything, he thought. My client, my job, and my fiancée, gone. All because a backwoods doctor wouldn't sign a stupid piece of paper. I would've been financially set for life and married to the woman of my dreams.

And it was all your fault, because of your grudge against him that convinced Dr. McCoy not to sign the agreement. Something in Travis' mind snapped, and he refused to let you take it all away from him. You were going to pay for what you did to him. Starting tonight.

***

As soon as Travis walked out of the clinic, you let out a shaky breath you didn't realize you were holding. You braced your trembling hands on the edge of your desk, as you bowed your head and focused on the files still arranged in a neat pile on the surface. With deep, even breaths, you tried to get your heart rate back under control and keep your knees from giving out from under you.

Noticing your distress, Leonard took a couple of steps towards you, his arm outstretched to gently lay a hand on your shoulder. "You all right, darlin'?" he asked.

Slowly you raised your head and when your eyes met his, you noticed they were full of concern and kindness. "Yeah, I'm all right. Thank you, Len," you replied wearily with a small smile. "Just wasn't expecting to see him here of all places. Word to the wise, he will not be going away anytime soon."

"It doesn't matter how many times he shows up, or what kind of offers NorthStar Corp decides to make. I'll tell him the same thing the next time he shows up, too," he affirmed. "Or anybody else for that matter."

"You sure are stubborn, Leonard," you chuckled.

"I prefer the term 'resolute'. No, really, I meant what I said. I like this town, and no amount of money is going to make me leave it." Or you, he silently added. He tilted your head up to meet his gaze. "Now, I think it's about time we close up shop and call it a day, hmm?"

The warmth reflected in his hazel eyes nearly made your heart skip a beat. "Umm....yeah, I-I think that sounds like a good idea, yes," you stammered. You stopped shuffling papers for a moment to look up at your boss as your thoughts returned to an earlier subject. "Actually, if you're not busy, I was wondering if maybe you'd want to come over to my place tonight, and I'd cook dinner for you."

Leonard stood with one hand in his pockets, the other resting on his chin in thought, his eyes tilted upward as he considered your invitation. It had been a while since he'd spent time at a woman's house, let alone received an offer from her to cook a meal for him. Jocelyn was not well-versed in the culinary arts, leading to a lot of take-out meals or dining out. Just as he was about to accept your offer, you interrupted his thoughts.

"You know something? I just realized it's kind of silly for you to drive all the way into town. Because then you'd have to drive all the way back home after dinner. I-It's okay if you'd rather not tonight, Dr. McCoy," you added.

"Whoa there, darlin', never said I didn't want to," he replied. "But you're givin' me a case of whiplash by first invitin' me to dinner, then you change your mind," he grinned. "Why d'you wanna cook for me anyway?"

"Well, I like to cook for others, and it sorta relaxes me. We had a busy day with patients today, and I'm sure you must be exhausted. Especially after that meeting with Travis," you grimaced. "And on a Friday night, I'll bet the last thing on your mind is making a meal for yourself. So, why not let someone cook for you?" you shrugged as you continued to clear your desk. You knew you were rambling, but you didn't know how to stop it. That is, unless a large sinkhole opened directly underneath you and put you out of your misery. 

Leonard grabbed your hands to still your movements and waited to speak until your eyes were on his. "You worked hard today, too, you know. Exactly like you always do," he remarked. "And then with Travis showing up, that was just the icing on the cake, am I right?"

You nodded at his assessment of your annoyance with your ex, so he continued. "How about this? If it means that much to you, then you're welcome to pick through my pantry, refrigerator, whatever I've got. You can use my pots and pans, and anything you put on a plate, I promise I will eat it." As soon as the offer was made, he frantically hoped Jim had recently done at least some grocery shopping. The last thing he needed was for you to open the fridge door, only to find a lonely jar of pickles and a few cans of beer.

The playful grin on his face was too much to resist, and you felt the corners of your mouth twitching upwards to match it. "Deal," you replied with a grin. "Can't wait to see what I've got to work with." You grabbed your jacket from the back of your chair and draped it over your arm, along with your purse. Leonard ushered you out in front of him, then he closed up the clinic for the day by turning off the lights and locking the doors.

***

Fortunately, luck was with Leonard. Around an hour later, you and Leonard were putting the finishing touches on a dinner of Chicken Alfredo with a tossed salad and garlic bread. While you prepared the main dish, you put Leonard in charge of chopping the vegetables for the salad. The garlic bread was a "team effort", with the two of you working together on it as you traded stories.

Leonard dug into his portion of the main dish, and when a groan of approval escaped his lips, a smile stretched across your face. You were pleased that your favorite dish was met with such appreciation, which was lacking in your previous relationship.

In the beginning, Travis let you handle the meal preparation and grocery shopping for the two of you. He didn't really care what you made, and generally ate it without complaint or comment. However, towards the end of your relationship, he became much more critical of your efforts. His criticism diminished the joy you once found in cooking, and he was always getting take-out food, which replaced your home-cooked meals.

"Wow, it smells absolutely fantastic in here!" exclaimed Jim as he wandered into the kitchen. He passed by the table where you and Leonard had paused your meal to focus your attention on him. "Whatcha got cookin'?" he asked, then added, "good lookin'," with a smirk and a waggle of his eyebrows.

His lame attempt at flirtation caused you to roll your eyes and stab a forkful of your salad. Meanwhile, Jim quickly helped himself to a plate of the food you prepared and took the chair next to Leonard at the table. He twirled the pasta around his fork and stuffed it into his mouth. The noises and words of praise dripping from him after one bite were music to your ears.

When you had finished, you gathered up your plate, salad bowl, and utensils to take them to the sink. "I'm sorry there is no dessert for this evening, but I promise to make it up to you next time," you called over your shoulder.

"Oh, that's all right, darlin'," Leonard answered as he finished his own portion and pushed himself away a bit from the table.

"Yeah, and I can't wait until the next time," Jim interjected, while fending off the death glare from Leonard. Jim tried to play the innocent card, his hand to his chest and mouthing the word, "what?" to his friend. He'd heard Leonard speak fondly of you on many an occasion. And if what he saw before joining you was anything to go by, you returned the sentiment.

Leonard rose from the table and picked up some of the dirty dishes to take to the kitchen. He gently placed them next to the sink. Before going back to the table for more, he paused, leaned one hip against the counter, and crossed his arms over his chest. "Now, just what do you think you're doing?" he wondered.

"I'm cleaning up after myself, what does it look like I'm doing?" you answered while the sink filled with hot, soapy water. "My mama would be disappointed in me if I made a mess in the kitchen and didn't clean it up."

"Really? Because my mama'd tan my hide if she found out a guest was doing dishes in my house," Leonard chuckled.

"I'm not going to leave you with a sink full of dirty dishes, Leonard," you affirmed. "C'mon, I'll wash and you can dry. The sooner we get done, the quicker we can move on to the next activity, like maybe a movie?" you suggested, hopefully. "Besides, I'm not a guest anymore, since I've been here more than twice," you declared with an air of finality.

A wry smile crept across Leonard's face, then he shook his head, knowing he wouldn't be able to dissuade you in your logic. "All right, all right, fine. And a movie sounds like a great idea," he acknowledged, then went back out to grab more dishes.

When he arrived at the table, Jim caught his arm. "Hey, what's this I hear about a movie?" he inquired eagerly. At Leonard's near-murderous glare, he held up his hands in surrender and chuckled. "I'm kidding, Bones. I promise, I'll leave you two alone." He waggled his eyebrows again, then took off at a run as his laughter echoed off the walls all the way to his room.

Leonard shook his head in resignation then entered the kitchen with the final batch of dishes to be washed. "So, what kind of movie did you want to watch?" he asked. As you worked, the two of you discussed your favorite films and why you loved them.

Slasher films were a solid "no" from both of you, mystery/thrillers were okay, but you were split on rom-coms and musicals. Action/adventure movies were acceptable, though Leonard was not fond of the ones set in space. "Too much can go wrong up there," he warned. "And something always goes wrong. When it does, the heroes inevitably choose the most completely unrealistic solution, which ends up somehow saving the day."

His sardonic observation about space films made you throw your head back and laugh. "Oh, Leonard, you're too funny," you remarked. "I think space is a wondrous place, full of adventure and so much of it waiting to be discovered."

"Yeah, well, you'll never get me up there. I'm perfectly fine with my feet firmly planted on good ol' Planet Earth," he snorted.

***

After a bit of back-and-forth, the two of you finally settled on a movie. Leonard sat at one end of the couch, his long legs stretched out in front of him. For you, it was a toss-up on where to sit. If you took up the other end of the couch, you appeared distant. If you chose the middle cushion, well, wasn't that a little too close for two....what were you, anyway? Friends? Co-workers? More?

Leonard noticed your hesitation on the seating arrangement. "You gonna sit down, darlin'? Can't start the movie till ya get settled," he pointed out.

"I know, but where should I sit? Wouldn't want to mess up anyone's favorite seat," you explained nervously.

He really didn't want you as far away as the other end, but he also didn't want you to feel forced to sit next to him. "You can sit wherever you'd like," he replied, then laid his palm on the middle cushion. "Although no one really sits here, so you can break it in and we'll call it your seat if you want," he grinned.

That was smooth, you thought, your eyes widening a little in surprise. Okay, we can play it like that, if you want. You sauntered over to where his hand was still resting on the cushion and waited until he caught your gaze. Without breaking eye contact, he withdrew his hand and watched as you settled into your seat. "Hmm, comfy," you hummed.

"Yeah....comfy," he murmured as he handed you a blanket. He reached for the remote and glanced over at you. "Ready?"

"Fire away," you replied as you draped the blanket across your lap.

The chosen movie was called Red, an action-spy-type movie. It was about a small group of retired, former assassins that the government seemed to want retired. Permanently. There was one character, a hotshot CIA agent named William Cooper, who was in charge of the operation. When he first appeared on screen, you leaned forward in your seat to get a better look. For some reason, he looked very familiar to you.

Leonard glanced over at you, wondering why you kept looking back and forth between him and the screen. "Uh, sweetheart, is everything okay?"

"That character, Agent Cooper?" you asked, pointing at the screen. "Does he look at all....familiar to you? Like....anyone you know?"

He looked again, watching as Cooper was running through the building, chasing one of the former assassins named Frank Moses. His eyes narrowed as he tried to find anything recognizable about the character. "I don't think so, nothing sticks out, why?"

You twisted your fingers nervously in your lap. "Well....I think he looks like you. I mean, at least a little bit anyway," you commented.

The two of you went back to watching the movie, and when Cooper appeared again, Leonard paused the screen. After a few moments, he restarted the film. "I don't see any resemblance," he muttered. You did your best to suppress the grin threatening to break free and decided to let it go for the moment so you could enjoy the rest of the story.

A few scenes later, the events of the day caught up to you, and you felt your eyes start to droop closed. When they did, you snapped them back open, but it took a little longer to do so with each passing moment. Your body was also losing the fight with gravity, as it kept leaning over until it connected with Leonard's arm. You nuzzled your head onto his shoulder, then sighed deeply in contentment. He chuckled softly and curled his arm around you while he continued to watch the movie.

As the credits rolled, Leonard noticed it was nearly midnight. He didn't want you to try to drive home when you were half-asleep, so there was only one other choice. He carefully moved off of the couch, then shifted your body until you were fully stretched out on the sofa. He cradled your head, slid a pillow under it, and covered you with the blanket you were using earlier.

Just before he left the room, you briefly opened your eyes. "Leonard? Is the movie over?" you mumbled, not yet fully awake, but you knew it had to be late. "I should get home," you murmured as you started to rise.

Leonard returned and knelt beside the couch, nudging you to lay down again. "Shh, it's okay, darlin'. Movie's over, you can go on back to sleep," he replied softly. He pulled the blanket up under your chin then smiled when you closed your eyes again.

After a few moments, he reached up and brushed the hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear. "Goodnight, sweetheart," he whispered. On impulse he pressed a kiss to the side of your head, then stood up and walked to his room. As he turned away, he missed how your lips curved upwards at his sweet gesture.

***

The next morning, you were awakened by the smell of blueberry pancakes with sausages and freshly brewed coffee. You sat up and stretched, feeling more rested than you have for months. One last yawn and you were off to the bathroom to take care of the morning necessities.

When you arrived at the kitchen, Leonard was busy ladling some pancake batter onto a cast iron griddle. You stood in the entrance, observing his movements, which were fluid and precise. He didn't appear hurried, as if everything was perfectly on schedule. He reached out to his right for the tongs to rotate the sausage links. He finished just in time to turn over the pancakes and sprinkle some cheese on the scrambled eggs.

Leonard was suddenly aware of another presence in the kitchen. He grinned when he saw you leaning against the doorway. "Good morning! How'd you sleep?"

"Good morning to you! I slept well, probably better than I have for a while. Thank you for letting me stay," you answered softly. You pushed off the doorframe and sauntered over to the cabinet, in search of coffee mugs. "Breakfast smells wonderful. Good to know your cooking skills extend beyond chopping vegetables for salad," you teased.

"I've been known to flip a flapjack or two in my time, I'll have you know," he sassed in return. "Used to cook a lot of breakfasts for myself, my mom, and my sister before I got married. Even had it for dinner sometimes."

"I remember dinners like this in my family," you remarked. "Growing up, money was usually tight, so we'd have pancakes, or French toast. Sometimes, we'd even have fried egg sandwiches for the evening meal."

Just as the two of you sat down at the table with your plates, Jim wandered in, his eyes nearly popping out of his head at all the food. "Wow, this all looks great! You cookin' for us again, sweetheart?" he asked you.

Since your mouth was full with a bite of blueberry pancake, you shook your head and pointed your empty fork at Leonard. Jim's eyes went wide again at the revelation. "Bones?? You cooked??"

Leonard glared at Jim, who had started to fill a plate with pancakes, sausages, and scrambled eggs with cheese. "Of course I cooked, genius. Jocelyn was the one who didn't cook, remember? Besides, if you insist on insulting me, you don't get any of my fluffy blueberry pancakes," he retorted. "You can have cereal for breakfast."

Jim immediately raised his hands in surrender and apologized for his lack of faith in his friend's cooking ability. There was no way he wanted to miss out on anything from the mouthwatering spread his friend created. With his plate piled high, the topic of conversation turned to plans for the remainder of the day.

"Well, I'll help clean up, but after that, I need to head home and feed my cat, Mimzy. She's a gray tiger-striped tabby cat that I've had for about three years now," you mentioned. "So, I have to do that, plus I have some laundry that I've been putting off for far too long."

"Sounds like you're in for a fun day," Jim snorted.

On your way back to the table, you reached into your pocket to grab your ringing phone. You smiled when you saw that it was Nyota calling and cheerfully greeted her. However, your smile quickly dropped and a look of horror crossed your face. "WHAT?!? Oh my god, I'll be right there. No, I stayed the night at Leonard's, I'll explain later. Meet me at my place, or what's left of it, I guess." The call disconnected and you stumbled to a chair, your phone clattering on the table.

"Darlin'? Is everything okay? What was that about 'what's left of' your place?" Leonard gently prodded.

For a few moments, you were too stunned to speak, tears rolling down your face. "My....there was a fire last night at my apartment building," you murmured. "I won't know how much of my place is damaged until I get there."

"Is everyone okay? What about your cat?" Leonard asked, as he and Jim looked at each other in shock.

"Um....Mimzy's fine, one of the neighbors I gave a key to was able to get her out. Everyone else also got out safely. What am I going to do?" you whispered.

Leonard walked over to where you were sitting and knelt in front of you and rested his hand on your knee. Jim stood on your other side, his hand on your shoulder. Leonard caught your attention and gave you a look that he hoped was a comforting one. "Hey there, darlin'," he gently crooned, his thumb stroking your kneecap. "How about we gather your stuff and I'll take you into town, hmm? I'll drive your car and Jim can follow in my truck. That sound all right?"

The shock was slowly beginning to wear off, which allowed Leonard's words to sink in. "Yeah, that sounds okay. I'm not in the right headspace to be behind the wheel right now," you responded wearily, then you moved your hand to cover his. "Thank you, Len. Both for last night and right now." You rose from your chair and slid your cell phone into your pocket. "I'll get my stuff and be right back."

"Poor kid," Jim lamented as he shook his head.

"Yeah, you said it," Leonard agreed. The silver lining in this situation, if any could be found, was that your cat, Mimzy, was safe. He also thanked his lucky stars that you weren't home at the time of the fire. Since he didn't know how much damage was done, he was determined to be by your side to offer whatever support you needed.

"You know, she could just move in here. Temporarily, of course," Jim hastily added.

Leonard gave him a puzzled look and arched one eyebrow. "You'd be okay with that?" he wondered.

"Bones, it's your house, but think about it. We have a guest room available, she'd be close to work, and she's an amazing cook. How could this not be the perfect solution?" he asked.

Jim had made some excellent points, and it did seem like the ideal answer to the current situation. Except for the fact that Leonard was starting to find he had feelings for you. Ones that grew beyond a working relationship, past friendship and into something more. Having you under the same roof was going to present some unique challenges, but what else could he do?

"Okay, let's ask her."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tags: @marvelouslytrekking @spacedancer1701 @anna-phora @hailbop1701  @writercole  @lassie-bird  @never--doubt  @phoenixisred  @wayward-dreamer  @erindiggory  @strangesgirls  @dumpsterhippie  @genevablog26  @lokis-deares  @medicatemedrmccoy  @rooweighton  @mamamercurymist  @d-doki-doki  @malmeansbad  @imamotherfuckingstar-lord @ghosttrekkie @noforkingclue @bellestalesoffiction @silversword7000 @maximumtacoshark @xspacedemonx @ilachoasgrem @madame-slayer

[brb-on-a-quest]

Tumblr should really let you pin multiple things as a blog introduction. (I wish).

Anyway, hi, hello, (new friend?), I'm Brb/Birb/(real name redacted). I'm an almost graduated student from the general land of cornfields and more cornfields. There's not much around, that's why I'm here, lol. (Also I've met a bunch of cool people, so now I think I'm kind of stuck here - come join us!).

⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦

If you happen to be a New Person Who Has Found Me (Hello!) and You Want To Talk to Me, I don't bite, I swear. I am a Birb with the heart of a Golden Labrador Retriever. Feel free to Tag Me in any tag games or haunt my inbox. <3 Come say hi! i love friends.

((Art by the amazing @mayamohini jfkfjjfkjgjgjgjfj it’s gorgeous)

(my "character sheet" that is based on my real life attributes--yes, I did roll all of these numbers. I use canva a totally healthy amount sometimes)

⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦

Anyway, more information y'all should know: This is the main account; I do have a sideblog. I reblog a lot of friend's nonsense, post a lot of my own even more nonsense, kind of have a whole "I want to be a hobbit living my best life somewhere not here vibe" I think. You will also see posts about things I think are wholesome/sweet, writing, psychology, fantasy, whatever fandom I'm in (or a friend's fandom),....just general nonsense I suppose. I do post some amount of life stuff when relevant or whenever I find things funny. Although the pic above is an owl, I am probably more akin to a magpie with much reblogging of things I find "shiny" to add to the chaotic mess that is my tumblr dashboard.

⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦

@brb-on-a-side-blog is also me! This was created to hopefully separate original writing content from the rest of the reblogging I do so it doesn't get buried in theory. This may not work out in theory as well as in practice, but I promise to reblog the cool writing stuff to my main blog if you don't want to have it clogging up your dash :).

There are other ones but as I am currently not using them it seems futile to put in an intro post.

⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦

Tags to help sift through to find me in the hoard of posts!

#brb-rambles: Original thoughts about something (or at least as original as I can be).

#brb-(insert part of moots name here): interactions between me and said moot! I'm actually really not great at this but will get better and I forsee mass post editor being a BFF if I do this.

#brb-life: original content relating to my life/thoughts.

#brb-writes: original writing content (this will be potentially moved to sideblog).

#brb-memes (i make memes sometimes).

#brb-library: posts that are either really funny/really struck me so I'm going to save them to print out

#brb-adventures: the hopeful travel tag for some upcoming trips (either the grocery store or New York who knows).

#brb-learning-things: Things I have learned (although it's from my school/classes so questionably but I reason sourced; if it's not, I'll include source link/some kind of citation).

#brb needs a laugh check: I am joking. Please do not take me seriously.

#brb vs the call of the academia: school posting?

#brb-asks/#brb-report:s hopefully new ask tag if I can remember to add them.

#dear north canada love south canada (and associated tags I will not be typing out here) is a fun series I have with @igotthisaccountunderduress (she's absolutely cool, check her out). Again, that won't cover all the posts but again, vibes).

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

how to make friends in anime / fandom space without feeling like i am pulling up a chair to a lunch table that’s already full. how to not be sad when i don’t receive asks and see my mutuals tag other people in art of my fav and exclude me. etc etc. how to

there’s no easy answer to this anon!!!!! literally all of us feel this way at some point, it’s normal to feel and sucky regardless!!!! :’)

i think most of it boils down to a couple things;

first, you need to realize that the people who aren’t interacting with you aren’t doing it out of malice!!! i think it can be easy to get sucked into a spiral of overthinking, assuming people dislike you, etc — but it usually isn’t like that at all. the people who aren’t tagging you in fanart aren’t excluding you on purpose — maybe they just don’t want to bother you. maybe they’re nervous. maybe it genuinely slipped their mind — it happens!! you need to be understanding and realize that it’s almost never as deep as your brain makes it seem. because otherwise you’ll just get more and more hurt by it.

i also think it boils down to finding your people — and i know that’s a lot easier said than done, but that’s just how it is. your personality isn’t going to mash with all people on here. focus on being yourself, not feeling ashamed of taking up space (again, easier said than done!!! believe me, i know!!!!), and taking the initiative to interact with people. sometimes other people need a little push to give that back. sometimes they’re just as nervous as you may be, even if it doesn’t seem like it. you know? if you post about your interests, and interact here and there (even when it’s scary!!) the right people will find you. (<- said comfortingly not threateningly)

and, most important of all!!!!! allow yourself to be a little sad and mopey. it helps. if you feel excluded then you feel excluded, and that’s all there is to it. you’re allowed to feel upset about that, even if there truly isn’t any malice involved. so mope!!!!!!! let yourself sulk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the feeling will pass. make yourself a meal, drink water, take a walk. watch your comfort show. don’t let yourself fall into a negative headspace just because of a silly website.

also !!!!! try to be patient, even if it’s difficult. it can be hard watching other blogs around you get more asks and etc, but it might just be because they’ve been active for longer than you, or gathered a bigger following. again, you’re allowed to feel upset about that — but you need to give it time. no one starts out with tons of anons or moots or interactions. give it time, and try to find people who you genuinely enjoy talking to, and who genuinely enjoy talking to you :3

^ i get that literally all of this is easier said than done, and maybe you just wanted to vent and don’t need my advice, but i’ll put it here anyway :’) i’m extremely lucky with anons and moots and i’m very grateful for that, but just know that it has taken me time. and even now there are times where i feel excluded from the community on here!! when i do, it helps a lot to just remove myself from tumblr for a bit, get into a better headspace, and then log back on.

………. anyway . this turned out longer than i thought but just know i’m wishing you the best anon!!!! i hope this helps, even just a little bit :’) and i hope you feel more at home on this website soon <333333

[kaiserkisser]

mutuals appreciation post <333

hello, everyone. this is my end of year mutuals appreciation post to thank each and every one of you here, who has put up with me enough to be friends with me. I simply can't put it into words how much I love yall and how much im grateful to all of you for being here, but I'll still try. I wish all of you a very very happy new year ❤

@delusina kaz, thank you. thank u sm for everything. you were my first mutual and i love you sm for that. almost all the friends i have right now, they're thanks to you. i still remember sending you cat pics every week in the beginning (im sorry i forgot to continue that 😭) and you and vi are the reason ✿❀ anon exists <3 ilysmm <333

@floraldresvi VIVI. ILYSM. ik ive already sent you a new year ask but still i can never express my appreciation for you enough <3 thank you sm vi for literally always being there for me, and i hope i can return the favor whenever you need :) i lovelovelove seeing you in my notifs :)) also baivi rules <333

@chosokisser mai my bbg my love /p again, ive already mesaaged you, but still, im so glad i have you in my life. if you need absolutely anything, if you just wanna talk to smn, or anything, ill always be here. in fact, we can even commit arson together if you want :DD and remember that me and choso adore you to heaven and back <333

@haithamvoid again, thank you sm for being friends with me. <33 im literally so glad for the day i opened tumblr to find mai forcing us to socialize XD we seem to have a bunch of shared interests and i remember the times we sent each other a bunch of kaiser (and gojo??) pics ehehe (also if you play genshin then on which server-)

@damyoujackson uhm thank u sm for being my irl bestie. I mean it. honestly i dont think ive actually had a friend i clicked with as much as i did with you in a long time. ik its probably not easy putting up with someone weird like me so erm tysm.. in all seriousness im really glad we're friends <33 ( we do NOT talk abt this in school OKAY.) (<- me being awkward)

@noomon you are an absolutely amazing, warm and pleasant person to be around! (And i love your aesthetic too omg) anyways you're very caring and nice and i always perk up whenever i see you in my notifs or inbox <33

@mikacynth mikaaa its been agesss i hope you're doing alright and uni is treating you well </3 again, one of my first mutuals that i interacted with bc you were a 'mutual in law' of mine hehe :) you're also an awesome and fun person to be around, so remember that me and kaeya love u <333

@yinyinggie yingg! You're such a big blog, so thank you sm for interacting with me! you're totally wonderful, and im so glad i got to participate in the ebg hosted by you hehe that was SO much fun <333(and it hurt my heart too but nvm-) anyways ilysmm <33

@alexisomnias aaah alexisss we dont interact much these days but still, i love you so so much, you are someone i always love seeing on my dash or in my notifs <3 and i adore alekav too its so cutee <333

@kitorin omg yes soutaa you're another person who shows up on my dash often and i love that you do <3 i hope you dont mind all the times ive tagged you in smth ahshshdhb i also always smile whenever i see u in my notifs so thank u smm for being moots with me <33

also to @ilyuu @m1shapanda @supernova25 @chooodles @camvrin @meidnightrain we havent interacted much this year, but ive loved seeing you guys often on my dash so i hope we interact more this next year <333 please dont mind me tagging you dhshsh

Happy New Year to all of you!!!! I hope you all have all the joys of the world and that all your wishes get fulfilled, because you guys totally deserve it 💕

I found a little something too here that i wanted to share with all of you since i thought you guys might like it <333

[faceglitchsworld]

I'm finally in my bed, trying to sleep, but since there's still some noise outside I think I'll use this occasion to said a really short thing before going to sleep.

I don't want to take this occasion to say how 2023 has been to me. I just want to say that I want to take 2024 as another step for the better in my life and hoping that what happened in the last months of 2023 will get resolved for the better.

Believe me or not but at the end I found some goals that I want to achieve, at least here, for this year.

I want to get better at giffing (and if you didn't know that, now you know that, just search #teresgifs in my blog and you'll see my works and laugh about it)

I want to write the letters for the groups's anniversaries and starting the birthday letters for OOO and Kingdom (only these two groups or I'll explode). Probably Xeed too if Nature Space will release more content of them because I can't make an entire letter full of dad jokes for Doha...

Create my usertag. I thought about it and I really want to make one to at least catch up with my mutuals' creations. Don't get me wrong, I love scrolling through the dashboard and reblog stuff but these months I noticed that it has become tiring and I think I'll slowly detach from it. Or maybe not who knows. Anyway, I really want to create one at least for all of you dears.

Reviving the sideblogs. For real this time. This is something I always say but then it always failed somehow. This time I really want to revive them or at least the K-Bands one, which is my first and most attached sideblog I have. It's my little corner where I post pics of my favourite bands and cry about it, I want it more active than usual.

Reaching 100 followers here. This is not a big deal because who cares about followers here but, on the other hand, it's a very doable goal to me and I would be glad if I would reach it. Also it's a perfect number, it's better than whatever the number of followers I have right now 😩

And this is it, this is what I want to reach this year on this hellsite. And now, I'll leave my special corner dedicated to my moots.

@odeblr @jongside @serendipminie @rieloving-mess @strhwaberries @seungbo-today @onlyoneofyouu @thirdslowdancer @snoos-tattoos @aureangels @atinystraykid @toxicrevolver

All of you, whether we just interact through reblogs, replies under posts, through the DMs or even just once in a while and that's it. I'm glad I met you.

Wishing you the best for this year 🤍

[luvrodite]

okay my neighbor!jason and roommate!jason thots are going wild right now bc I feel like both of their slow burns end so differently. Like yours and neighbor!jason’s relationship is a slow and steady pining that is more sweet and the catalyst is a “why don’t you just stay here?” after you try to watch all of the lord of the rings movies in one night. and it’s all cuddles and soft kisses and making breakfast and morning sex bc you’re just that comfortable and close at that point you don’t even care you’re just glad it’s finally happening.

meanwhileeee you and roommate!jason have spent so long tiptoeing around each other and suppressing your feelings, convincing yourself the other doesn’t feel the same that it almost ends in a fight of “well how do you think I feel watching you go out with other people?/hearing you get off in the other room?/knowing it’s not me?” and then a “well maybe I wish it was!” and the hottest and filthiest make out session and sex ever known to man and also god.

have a good day/night🫡

nonnie im so glad u get it.

also minors dni + have your age in your bio if you interact

like with neighbour!jason i just imagine it being very luke and lorelai esque, where he's just that guy. like he's your (i imagine him a little older, maybe late twenties/early thirties) hot as shit neighbour who you can always always count on. because he's a good guy. he sees you in the hall and he says hello and you guys talk and hang out occasionally but it's never beyond platonic even though sometimes you feel like he might be flirting with you and sometimes he gets a little quiet when he looks at you. and you grow closer and closer, and you get comfortable enough to blur that line when you flirt with him in the mornings to get a reaction, you feel less inclined to hide your quirks etc. because he's jason. he's wonderful. and you're going to be so happy for whoever he ends up with but at the same time, the thought of someone coming into your lives–because he's part of your life now! he's your friend as much as he's your neighbour. he's seen you cry and he's seen you messy and he's seen you when you've just woken up. the thought of there being someone else makes you a little envious, a little sad. he goes from being the hot guy next door to someone you genuinely care about and love, and that complicates it, because love is scary and you don't want to ruin one of the best relationships in your life. (neighbour!jason is just waiting for you to come to terms with it because he already knows what he wants, age has made him steady, left him assured of himself. but he won't make any moves until he's certain that you're certain)

and with roommate!jason. oh my god. exactly that. i spoke about this with one of my moots but i imagine that the way roomie and jason end up together is extremely messy. they're both very explosive and young(er) and have so much learning to do even if they are adults living on their own with their own jobs/studies. like there's obviously that comfort of being friends but also, there's that tension between them because you're both so attracted to each other and aware of each other, but you still navigate yourselves like you're just roommates when underneath the surface there are so many feelings just simmering, simmering, simmering. you go on dates, jason pretends he isn't extremely jealous, you have to bite down your own envy when other girls eye him up at the store, he's heard you touch yourself–has jerked off to you. it all bubbles up. i imagine it takes a while before you guys end up officially together because you do it backwards. roommate!jason turns to roommate with benefits!jason who eventually turns into roommate/boyfriend!jason. you guys fuck and you know you've crossed the lines of your arrangement from the beginning but feelings are again. so vulnerable. and scary. so you keep quiet until once more someone gets jealous and the actual, deeper feelings come out.

anyway i am rambling. but thank you for sending these thoughts in. i've missed roommate jason and neighbour jason (even though i'm writing a fic for the former atm) and will take any opportunity to talk about them

[agent-troi]

trick or treat 👻

lol it was a toss up between a fluffy happy family ficlet or an angsty mytharc ficlet, and the random number generator says you get the latter👻

(this was also the product of an @audiofanficpod workshop, and a few people wanted me to continue this which i’m hesitant to even mention bc i just finished two big projects in a row and i’m tired😅)

anyway here you go- happy halloween!🎃

———————————————

It Happened on a Holiday

There was sadness in her face as she told him he looked a lot like his father. It had been a decade since they had last seen him, barely days after William’s birth; he had been heartbroken to have to leave them, but she had (against her fervent, selfish desire to keep him with her) managed to convince him that the separation was vital to all of their safety.

The point was moot now, of course, as Scully had eventually been forced to take William into hiding as well. With no way of contacting Mulder nor figuring out where he was, they were on the run aimlessly, moving from place to place so as to stay one step ahead of Them.

As the years went by, it became more and more apparent that they needed to make a choice. Small towns had appeared safe at first, but it was impossible to preserve their anonymity when everybody knew everybody, and it was paramount that no one discover what William really was.

So, she did the last thing anyone would expect, and brought her son back to the East Coast. Praying they would quickly disappear within the sprawling, bustling metropolis of New York City, she rented a small two-bedroom in Manhattan under one of the aliases she hadn’t yet used. Unwilling to trust his safety to the public school system (or any system that involved letting him out of her sight), she opted to homeschool him, and he thrived under her tutelage.

He asked a lot of questions though, mostly about his father. She put it off for as long as she could, not wanting to tarnish his innocence; but he was too bright of a boy, and despite their lack of interaction with other human beings, he knew he was different from them.

Eventually, she’d been forced to tell him how he was different, and why, as well as the fate that awaited them all if she failed to keep him safe.

“Why’d they pick 2012?” William asked, his hazel eyes wide with fear.

“I don’t know, honey.” Scully stroked his hair. “But we have until then to develop a vaccine from your blood. You’re the only person on the planet with complete, natural immunity to the virus.”

“Is that what the tests are for?” In addition to being his mother and teacher, Scully was also William’s doctor, ensuring he was passing all the necessary developmental milestones… and occasionally taking samples of his blood in her one-woman efforts to develop a vaccine for the alien virus.

She nodded and pulled him into a tight hug, unable to hold back any longer. “I think it’ll be ready soon, but we need to test it. That means we’ll need to take a big risk, and get back in touch with some old friends.”

“Like Dad?”

Scully chuckled even as she held back tears. “I wish, honey. But hopefully, he’ll find us.”

Before They do, she finished the sentence in her mind.

@today-in-fic

[blue-da-ba-dee]

Am feeling particularly emotional today for whatever reason. In all honesty, I've felt pretty off these past several weeks. In the way where nothing's really wrong but something just doesn't feel right, ya know?

Anyways, I almost thought about deactivating a few times. I kept wrestling with the thought. And just when I thought I'd made up my mind, that yes, I want to leave I kept stopping, my finger hovering above the button. I just couldn't. I can't. I don't want to. I thought about how many of you I've come to know (no matter the capacity) because of this place and the thought of not interacting with whether by asks or dm's or liking/reblogging posts as a silent way of communication made me sad. It truly makes my day seeing your posts across my dash, whether they make me laugh or give information I didn't know before or the always wonderful gifsets. Some of us have been moots for so long now (which if you're still here with me after all this time, I'm so sorry my blog isn't what it used to be 😭). Others I'm still getting to know, but I care for each of you just the same. You're all so kind and sweet and honestly, much too cool for me. I appreciate you so much more than I can really say. I truly do wish you all the best that life has to offer💙

@andreethier @mortirolo @marie98989898 @an-ivy-covered-summer @justrandomshitsstuff @danhalen @callmemoonlight123 @most-metal-ever @lankinen @emietook @parmerjohn @thinkazul @caminozul @useyourcoco @pitchburgh @gasdrawlsss @enriquehndz @half--agony--half--hope @kershaws @himbeaux-on-ice @colonel-clucker @oopsabird @ur-bi-southern-queen @chuckduhdude @fangirlsuperhero