#but anyways YEAHHHHHHH

[kazbiter]

more on this: the way that there is not one single person who can ever make ronan do ANYTHING he doesn't want to do. time after time we see ronan refusing to do what is asked of him, to go easy on anyone, to be anything but obstinate and difficult. but when it comes to gansey: he tells ronan to take his feet off the dash and he takes them off the dash. he tells him to stop agitating blue and he stops agitating blue. he is happily satisfied and PROUD that someone else observes their dynamic as ronan being gansey's DOG. he tries so hard to translate what the trees are saying correctly for gansey that how much he cares is plainly clear on his face and he and tells him he's sorry TWICE just because it isn't absolutely perfect. and gansey knows what he needs to hear is gansey saying "you're doing really well". the sole thing that ronan want to do and therefore always will do is give gansey anything he asks for. he is primarily concerned with establishing his place by gansey's side and being the one that gansey first looks to because he will always, ALWAYS provide what gansey requires.

only ronan lynch would openly say some shit like silly gansey and his little "follow me!" voice that works on mice and small children like a loser fairytale prince lmao. oh yeah no it of course also definitely works on me too no doubt.

[punkitt-is-here]

krill yourself

NOW we're fucking TALKING its KRILL TIME BABY!!!

I LOVE YOU KRILL YOU ARE PERFECT!!!!!!!!!! KRILL NUMERO UNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[medicalunprofessional]

meat? in our circus?

[circusbythesea]

US v THEM

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

men who care so deeply that it’s suffocating

[tequiilasunriise]

Annabel Lee & Fears: A Short Essay Based On Ep70

Here it is, folks, the truest crux of Annabel’s character, her deepest fears is not going mad or even people discovering she’s not as put together as she tries to appear, but rather:

Was that gambit of constant scheming and using others worth it, Annabel? Was always trying to think ten steps ahead and always keep yourself in a position of power and control truly worth it, because how can you ever be trusted when all you do is play 5D chess with everyone?

There is is, folks!!! Just like her greatest strength- her cunning willpower- is centered around a certain bright moon, Annabel’s greatest fear is rooted in Lenore. The deepest, darkest trenches of her soul, the one thing that would shatter her heart and send her lungs choking fer breath? The killing blow that would end her and make all these charades worthless? It’s Lenore seeing her constant conniving and asking Annabel, “Why would I be any different? You already have no problem using everyone else as a pawn, how could I ever possibly trust you, Annabel Lee?”

The way Annabel is SUCH a great morally grey character, y’all tell me you love hot villains yet many a time I’ve seen people calling Annabel too heartless. She’s the opposite! She cares!! SO MUCH!!! She would burn the world down if it meant kissing Lenore one last time, to the point where her deepest fear is losing Lenore in the process of trying to protect her. All Annabel knows is using manipulation to gain the upper hand because simply being born a woman in the Victorian era she was so throughly disadvantaged by such a horribly misogynistic society that girlypop had to scrape together any form of control she could. Annabel wants so badly to protect Lenore but all she knows are her own methods of protecting herself, which involves plausibility deniability and facades and sometimes sheer cruelty, and that’s where the conflict arises. From the start Annabel assumed Lenore and her had the same understanding of this ‘fake enemies’ ploy going on but surprise surprise babygirl, not everyone is overthinking four parallel universes ahead like you do. This boils over into her lover having doubts on what’s real and what’s not, which then culminates into Lenore asking if Annabel is using her affections as empty currency to get what she wants, and Annabel’s first move to tell Lenore to fucken kill her????

“To you alone, I have left myself completely defenseless.”

The drama of it all!! The shattered facade leading to exploding vulnerability of it all!! The dim sun sparking out into a heat death just to prove her sincerity of it all!!! The exposed innermost organs ripping out my heart with my bare hands and begging you, “Do you see it now? Do you see the way it beats for you and only you? Tell me you see it, tell me you see me…” of it all!!

Oh baby the way Annabel still retains this deep fear of Lenore not truly believing in the “only thing that’s real” to her, the way her lover’s ghost still lingers and haunts her and is then ripped up from her innermost psyche like a desecrated grave and given form by Ada’s power. The way, after all this time- and I mean all this time from Lenore’s constructed resurrection, to their relationship blossoming into a wedding, all the fucking way up to that bell tower scene, the fucken way Annabel still never truly let go of her fear that Lenore doesn’t see her, doesn’t see how she alone bashed through all of Annabel’s walls and made a home where her heart laid. I’m sure during their living relationship all the way until the wedding Annabel’s fears were greatly settled, but it’s the fucken way these panels implied that this wretched heartache never completely left Annabel’s guilt-wracked soul.

I just know, okay I just KNOW, that even up until she was putting her wedding dress on Annabel still questioned if she even deserved this happy ending because she still feel phantoms of guilt fer this betrayal. This comic only furthers this implication of unabsolved guilt when it’s made clear as day that Annabel’s biggest fear is Lenore not believing in her love. And before anyone argues how Annabel can currently feel guilt fer betraying Lenore when she hasn’t recovered the memory yet, I’ll argue back that from the very beginning of the comic these two were inexplicably drawn to each other even when they had NO memories. Therefore, even if she doesn’t have the explicit memory, I highly doubt Annabel’s subconscious would ever let go of something as huge as deeply hurting the one person she truly cared about in such a wretched way.

Fuck, dude, I mean Annabel’s greatest fear wasn’t even Lenore dying- which was already a huge thing if y’all remember her tearstreaked, panicked, “What is left? If she’s not here, what’s the point?”- no her greatest is Lenore!!! Not!!! Believing!! Her!!! Like yeah losing Lenore physically definitely would’ve cut so deep even her bones would bear the scars, but losing Lenore in the form of the other woman walking the same ground as her but choosing to stay away?? Call her fucking selfish because some people would rather have their other half still be alive even if they’re not by their side, but Annabel ain’t one of them that’s fer sure. Babygirl has spent a lifetime perfecting the craft of deceiving others fer her own gain, but the ONE TIME she’s genuine her heart is to be called nothing more but empty??? Oh babbyyy that’s gotta fucken hurt.

The thing is, I don’t think Annabel really loves herself all that much. I really don’t. A huge focus on self-preservation doesn’t necessarily mean one really loves themselves, and when we add the aforementioned guilt she carries? Plus, the fact that Annabel being forced to swallow down her anxiety attacks from a young age could easily lead to her having a rather sour view of her 'not normal' self? Yeah no yeah, I truly don’t think Annabel loves herself that much, if at all. So really, this line is adding immense insult to already grievous injury. Not only does Annabel deeply fear Lenore not believing her affections to be true, she also fears the New Yorker misconstruing her as nothing more but a shallow as hell, prissy, little pampered damsel, a role pretty much everyone else regulates her into whether she wants it or not (right from the beginning, before she even set her schemes in full effect, Annabel was already explaining, “Ada wanted a queen, so I gave her one”). Lenore, the only one Annabel had believed to ever really see her fer her, is now discrediting Annabel’s vulnerable affections AND seeing her as that unloving ice queen like everyone else?? Horrible terrible horrible!!! She may have a ribbon threatening to strangle her right now, but it’s clear that ghost!Lenore’s words are what truly cut her down to size. Y’all seeing that fucken pain in Annabel’s eyes? Her worst fear is just so… personal.

Which actually leads me to my next point, which is how just before Annabel’s worst fear is revealed in stark, horrifying detail, we see Prospero’s. Lemme just preface this by saying what Prospero went through is n o t any less terrible and is a super fucken mega valid fear/trauma, but let me cook y’all just hear me out. Prospero’s fear seems to be about medical malpractice and/or being conscious during a painful operation that likely went south (aka ‘oh shiiitttt he fucken DEAD-‘), and that’s fucking tragic as all hell. Yet, okay let me cook here, it’s more… I don’t want to say general, because that does NOT mean his fear is any less significant but it’s like. Way back when, death via medical bullshit was more or less fairly common, especially during wartimes (which is the era I headcanon Prospero to be from); meanwhile, Annabel’s fear is so uniquely hers, it’s borne of a culmination of specific experiences tied together by her relationship with Lenore.

By contrast of a more common fear vs something so deeply personal and specific to this one person- because it’s not just unrequited love, it’s being so vehemently denied and misunderstood by the ONE (1!) person who you wholeheartedly trusted in your entire life who also oops mega died on you- this distinction gives way to an almost more raw, more visceral feeling to Annabel’s fear sequence. Again!!! I am not undermining Prospero’s own trauma, I promise!!! But you have to admit that there’s something, from a narrative standpoint, that hits so much harder with how deeply personal Annabel’s fear is. The contrast is even more great when you look at how Prospero’s involved a buncha bloodied hands not really tied to any faces or even any indication of personhood like accessories, scars, etc etc. It could’ve been a group of anyone holding him down hurting him; on the flipside, Annabel is being restrained by one very specific person we see in full view. The faceless crowd who could’ve been anyone at anytime vs the lone perpetrator whose history you know like a second name. It’s just!!! So personal!!!

In conclusion, on the surface level, one would think a character so deeply ingrained in using deceptions and manipulation would have her greatest fear tie into having her true nature revealed to everyone she’d fooled, but then it turns out it’s the complete fucking opposite. What homegirl fears the most is her truest, innermost self not being believed and accepted by just one (1!) person. The way it’s framed is just so heartstabbingly personal, especially when you parallel it to a previous fear sequence just a few panels preceding it. This is it, your honor, this is Annabel’s deepest driving force broken down to its bare essentials. To hell with whatever reputation she’s carefully crafted! Who cares what anyone else thinks of her if she doesn’t believe her, if she doesn’t SEE her. Really, truly see her. Lenore is the defining point that Annabel has revolves around so wholeheartedly, and there’s no point to anything anymore if Annabel loses her. This crux of her character, OHHH BBAAABBYY it’s just so well done because we, as the audience, have been given clear evidence to build up this narrative of Annabel’s characterization fer so long now and to finally see it come together in a fiery explosion of lesbian angst with this latest chapter??? Gods, the writing of Nevermore will never not drive me absolutely insane in the membrane.

[silly-lil-scribbles]

hmmmmmm after careful consideration it is very possible that i might be a therian

[noornight]

Heartshackle trio as cats 🐱🐱🐱

[teddybeartoji]

some mbti compatibility stuff bc it's fun:33333

[finisnihil]

daz is back at it again with another jingluo au bc THEY WONT FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE

so hear me out, a Dangerously Yours (the radio show AND MORE SPECIFICALLY THE MASQUERADE EP) jingluo au with jing yuan as rudolph and luocha as catherine (katherine???? i lwk dont know how to spell her name)

it was honestly difficult for me to choose who was who (i had a lot of thoughts of jing yuan as catherine) but ultimately decided on him as rudolph because of personality and also their roles. i also think luocha as catherine would be a better fit because of the ending

BUT I WANT TO HEAR WHAT U THINK :3

OH MY GOD HI DAZ, YES YES I AGREE.

Jingluo is truly like little parasites that burrow in you and refuse to budge.

ANYWAYS YES DANGEROUSLY YOURS I definitely agree. Catherine as Luocha is the best fit I believe. Catherine approaches Rudolph first, she's the one who lures him into the game of wits, akin to how Luocha lures Jing Yuan into their own metaphorical chess game by drawing his attention enough to get him invested. When they take too long, both of them are eventually pushed to ignite the final confrontation so to speak, forcing the other player to abandon their passive role of observing them to become more active.

I also do believe that between the two of them, Luocha would have more difficulty firing the gun in that moment. Jing Yuan would struggle but he's fired the gun before, he's the one who read Dan Feng's sentencing after all, he's practiced. Luocha on the other hand is somebody who would struggle to let go, his entire character is being unable to let go.

Luocha cannot let go of life because the dead will return and Yaoshi will not let him. He has bad memories of his home world but he can't let go of his clothes from there, wearing them to remind himself of the road he must travel. He carts around the coffin because he cannot let go of a deal he made. He risks being exposed too soon to heal Xueyi because he can't let go that she's hurt. As Jingliu says, there's a hole where his heart is and he exhausts himself trying to fill it. If Jing Yuan became something that fills that hole, Luocha wouldn't be able to let him go. Rudolph is there to test Catherine, and she says it herself, Rudolph is dearer than her country. Jing Yuan wouldn't need to be tested, he's already pulled that trigger enough times to prove himself. Luocha, however, would grapple with duty over happiness, having to take on the burden of that hole in his heart again to do what he needs to do. It fits with the canon too, if Luocha truly seeks a greater alliance with the Xianzhou, he has to be ready to uphold that above himself.

Jing Yuan also fits as Rudolph especially well. He plays into the game already having an idea of what's going on and still gets blindsided by Luocha's moves. Rudolph wasn't sure if Catherine could shoot him in that moment and Jing Yuan couldn't see Luocha's true intentions until it was too late. Jing Yuan would also let Luocha go, the way Rudolph did Catherine. Jing Yuan let Blade go, he let Dan Heng go, and he lets Baiheng go every time he visits Bailu. He let Igor go knowing he would never see him again, that Igor had a life and a destiny he could be part of but not dictate. He let Jingliu go when he made the decision to kill her and release her from the Mara. In the way that Luocha cannot let go, Jing Yuan cannot bear to hold on. Even if he ends up alone again, he can't bring himself to chain anyone to his person in such a way.

In regards to his relationship with Luocha, it could end up a bit dysfunctional because of this. In the same way an animal used to captivity can't take care of itself in the wild, Luocha wouldn't take being freed for his own good after finally finding fulfillment very well. Jing Yuan would release him in a bid to prioritize his happiness/health and Luocha would die outside the safety of the fence, still looking for the hand that feeds him. To Rudolph, it was better to let Catherine think he never loved her when to Catherine, not knowing he was always on her side would be a greater pain. Jing Yuan and Luocha would be much the same. They're a bit unhealthy in that way but it adds to their charm.

Anyways, of course they would fit the episode literally titled "Masquerade". They're both donning masks/personas and engaging in a dance without truly being vulnerable enough to know the other fully. When the masks do come off, the dance is over, and one of them falls off the music box to be freed of the song.

[ratatatastic]

FEAR NOT LUNDY ALSO MADE IT BECAUSE WHU WOULD HE EVER SKIP OUT ON CLUBBING LMAO

6.27.24

[anothermonikan]

Happy pride month to them specifically

[greg-montgomery]

just thinking about aaron giving you a dip kiss at your wedding 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[what-breaks-my-heart]

[etihw000]

I don't know if you would respond this but

I still can't get the song out of my head and I have been trying to searching for the song on one of your speedpaint video for so long until youtube copyright it or you have to private it..

It a speedpaint video of Curaxu and Rage I believe and there are songs with poisons or something

The three songs in that sp:

Drive By - Train

Poison - Elise Estrada

Poison Kiss - The Last Goodnight

It better had been the last one because it's a banger. ✌️

[yourdrugisafartbreaker]

18. It really feels like a big number. Of course, people usually live a lot longer than that nowadays, but it’s still big. All of my life, it’s been hyped up as the age of decisions. I decide whether I pursue higher education or a job, I decide how I want to vote, I decide on if I really want that really regrettable tattoo… But, most of all, I’m like… An actual adult. Yeah, a baby adult, but an adult nonetheless. My childhood’s flown by me. Where did it all go, I ask myself as I seek that nostalgic content. But, ya know, I gotta look ahead. I’d rather look at the road ahead of me instead of the road behind me when I’m driving. I need to get my driver’s license… But, driving is scary… Anyways, a lot is gonna happen. So, whatever it happens, I gotta make sure I handle it. There’s so much out of my control in life that I have to control what I can. So, here’s to being 18, I guess.