#but analyzing the conversation and recognizing what this person is getting right that others get wrong

[daydreamerdrew]

The Hulk! (1978) #24

[tojipie]

prison bf series linked here !

hii ! not rly phone sex, but sex nonetheless. i’m rly loving this series <33 prison toji unboxing fic coming someday in the distant future.

content: nsfw + phone sex

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the sudden vibrations of your phone’s ringer rips you from the boundary between sleep and awareness. you groggily reach for the device from it’s place under your pillow, clicking the off button twice to end the call.

the number rings again, then a third time before you finally pick up, ready to tear into the poor soul on the other line. it’s a facetime call from an area code you don’t recognize, probably just a misdial if you’re lucky.

you hesitantly accept and tilt the camera towards the ceiling, shielding your face from the stranger.

“hello..?” you mumble sleepily, trying to get a good look at your phone without revealing too much of yourself. the person’s screen is grainy from the lack of light, probably calling you on an older model.

the stranger’s camera pans down, revealing familiar tufts of straight raven hair. toji stares up at you from his bunk, shirtless with the sheets bunched up to his chest.

“you too good to pick up the phone now?” he asks, clearly teasing. the inmate’s voice is quiet, coming out in choppy rivets as his dated microphone picks up what it can.

“toji!?” you whisper scream, sitting up to turn your beside lamp on. the additional light helps illuminate your figure better, you notice his eyes perk up at the clearer sight of you.

“mmmh, happy to see you babydoll.” he grins, leaning closer to get a good look at you. your eyes are puffy with the promise of rest, giving you that extra bought of softness he loves so much.

“oh shit, were you sleeping? m’ sorry.”

he doesn’t sound sorry at all.

“nono i’m awake.” you reassure the older man, taking in the sight of him laid out on the narrow cot. your boyfriend had aged since the beginning of his sentence, though you figure that’s not out of the ordinary for someone serving time. “how’d you even get a phone?”

“s’ a secret.” he muses, clearly finding the situation amusing. “i get to talk to my baby though, isn’t that nice?” he states plainly, shifting to prop his head up with his hand.

“it is, actually.” you mumble apologetically, feeling bad at your initial lack of a greeting. “m’ happy you called me.”

you pause, choosing your next words carefully “don’t you have bunkmates?” you wonder, searching the background for any signs of other men in the dark cell. the promise of being ratted out by a cell mate was one that wouldn’t end well for either of you.

“nah, lawyers said i’m too dangerous to be staying in D-block with everyone.” he states boredly, shifting again to lie on his back with a grunt.

“wh— are you serious?” you whine, already mulling over the countless conversations you’ve had with him regarding his nasty fighting habit.

“pfttt, no?” the inmate chuckles, throwing his head back with a hearty laugh. “last guy in the cell got out on wednesday, ‘s just me in here till’ my sentence is up.”

he stills, looking you up and down quickly.

"fuck." he grumbles, you look real pretty right now."

you sigh in relief, ignoring the compliment to continue grilling him. “so you’ve been getting along with people?” you ask, skill skeptical.

“you know—hah- how i am.” he tells you, clearing his throat before continuing. the screen begins to wobble a little, blurring his figure for a moment. “when have i —fuck- ever been out of line, huh? ”

“i think you were pretty out of line when you went to fucking jail.” you tease, pausing to analyze his hurried breaths on the other line.

“toji? do you feel ok?” you ask, wishing you were there to check up on him.

“yeah—mmgh- why? his camera starts to pan up shakily, phone slipping from his hand. the last of his facade shatters as a pleased groan rings out in the tiny cell.

“fuck.” he whines, “fuck— oh my god. you’re gonna make me fucking cum.”

“show me.” you command, finally piecing everything together.

the older man flips the camera and brings it right up to his hard cock, stroking it from the base up with vigor.

his tip is an angry pink, weeping milky precum down his shaft to glaze his knuckles. the sounds coming from your phone are absolutely filthy, a hot mix of pants, groans and expletives .

“oh my god.” you giggle, propping your phone up to watch better. “is that all for me?” the dips and hills of his abs jolt as he laughs.

“all for you.” he pants, bucking his hips up every time his fist meets his tip.

“is this why you called me?” you tease, watching his cock bob back and forth in his hand. the older man stops to thumb his slit, massaging milky pre into the tip before starting up again. “you just wanted to get off? didn’t wanna talk to me or nothing?”

“no—hah. i mean—.” he groans, clearly too out of it to answer. “fuck. fuck i’m close.”

you squeeze your legs together to quell the ache between your thighs, content to just watch him enjoy himself.

sharing a room with 4 other people means little to no time alone, that much you knew from your visits. it wasn’t rare for him to pitch a tent during your supervised phone calls, squeezing his cock behind a glass barrier while you gushed about your day.

a hearty groan knocks your train of thought loose as ropes of cum stream down his knuckles and onto the sheets. you watch in awe as he milks his dick, slapping it onto his stomach for the added simulation.

you wait until his breaths even out to speak, watching him grab a towel from off camera to clean himself up.

“feel better?” you ask, so badly wishing you were there to kiss him in the midst of his afterglow.

“so much better.” he sighs, shifting to lay on his side again.

“they definitely heard you. i mean those rooms don’t have doors right?”

“of course they fucking have doors.” he grumbles, clearly embarrassed at the thought of getting caught dick-in-hand.

“did you..” he trails off, rubbing his eyes with a soft yawn.

“too tired.” you state plainly, shifting the focus from your pleasure to his.

“i don’t deserve you.” he mumbles, dark eyes barely open.

“course you do baby.” you whisper. “you wanna head to bed? i’m coming up on thursday to visit.”

“you are?” the excitement in his voice is adorable.

“mhm, might even bring you a charger for that piece of shit burner you swiped.”

the jab earns you a booming laugh, lulling you back to the precipice of sleep.

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tag list ! <3 🏷️

@honeybee54321 @m150-50up @kuryoomi @t4naiis @serendippindots @sillyalo @levixbby @powerrwa

[rory-multifandom-mess]

Something that always struck me as odd is how in The Promening, V displays the desire for the attention and adoration of the WDs when she’s made Prom Queen. I mean, at no point is V ever established as wanting to be praised and, using the flashbacks to when she was a maid, I’d make the argument that she was the kind of person to stay out of the spotlight…

…Conversely, we have J, who has shown time and again wanting to be recognized and praised for her accomplishments. I mean, she very deliberately took the time to gloat and monologue during the Pilot when she had Uzi dead to rights, and that’s not even getting into all the other times she has grandstanded.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, I feel V freezing up in front of the prom crowd would have made some more sense narratively and would have displayed/hinted at her vulnerable side sooner… also, that J deserved the chance to be Prom Queen and address the masses.

(I’m sorry if this sounded like a rant, it’s was supposed to just be some thoughts I thought I’d share.)

J in a dress....... drools

Also yeah now that you mention it, that is kind of interesting... It could be that she was longing for some feeling of being accepted again? Though I'm not sure.

Yo, V analyzers, get on this (/j)

[stillness-in-green]

codenamesazanka mentions you a lot when they talk about the new mystery person. any extra analyzes you want give? do *you* think its Tenko?

I 100% do not think it’s Tenko.  It would raise way too many questions about how he got in some rando’s house, why he had to use scissors to free himself, how or if he was recognized, why he was imprisoned if he wasn’t, why he was imprisoned if he was, and so on and so forth.  I wholly believe that he’s just an expy!Tenko, meant to demonstrate how society has changed.

I suppose the only other analysis I have to offer—and I don’t remember if Nal’s touched on this or not in the time it’s been since I got this ask—is the issue of how an expy!Tenko to save is kind of meaningless as a reflection of how Tenko might have been saved when the story was in such a rush to blame every aspect of him on All For One anyway.

That is, if every problem Shigaraki Tomura posed was actually because of the way AFO “groomed” him, then what does saving Scissors-kun change or prove?  Killing or imprisoning all the Villains in the endgame just proves that the Heroes can’t do shit about helping Villains because they’re “too far gone.”  Saving Scissors-kun before he becomes a Villain is great, sure, and much to be desired, but it doesn’t prove anything about how society has changed in such a way that it could now save any future Tomuras.

Conversely, it’s not outside the realm of possibility that Scissors-kun is a Tenko parallel in a different way, and that’s making him be All For One’s fault, somehow, even though AFO is already dead.  He could be from one of the twisted orphanages Ujiko ran, or, for the stronger Tenko parallel, be the child of someone who grew up in one of those orphanages.  And if he was being kept locked in a basement as a result of someone twisted by the seedbed of hatred they grew up in, that ultimately makes the situation All For One’s fault, meaning the story gets to continue to blame all of its setting's problems on one (1) Evil Bad Man, even after that Evil Bad Man has already died.

Really, the whole issue with Scissors-kun as an expy!Tenko, even while I think it is most likely where the story’s going with him, is that he isn’t much of an expy!Tenko if his circumstances have nothing to do with AFO, but it’s still really shitty if they do.  He’d be a much better expy!Toga, but then saving him means the story doesn’t revolve around Deku, and I hardly expect that to start happening now!

Also, for all the talk about him looking like Tenko, I just don’t think he actually does.  The hair color and waviness is one thing, but to me, his eyes are wrong.  Sure, the color/lack of color is right—uninked irises with a black outline—but even accounting for the fact that they’re widened in distress, they’re much too large to be Tomura’s eyes unless he’s lost at least six years in the process of winding up in that house, and the corners of them are pointing at the wrong angles, besides.

Below are some comparison pictures--first of Scissors-kun compared to Tenko, then compared to Tomura:

Note how, whether as a child or as an adult, Shigaraki's eyes always have that upward angle to their outermost point, the shape of the his bottom eyelid sweeping upward in a smooth curve, such that the outer corner rests higher on his face than the inner corner. Conversely, Scissors-kun's eyes come more to a more level, horizontal-facing point, or maybe even a slight downwards-angled droop, such that the outer and inner corners of his eyes seem more level with each other.

To throw a third character into the mix, compare Scissors-kun with both Shigaraki and Re-Destro:

(Note: Shigaraki here has been mirrored for comparison purposes; I used the shot where he and Re-Destro visually face off during the latter's declaration of war.)

Scissors-kun is looking downward in the only shot we have of his face so far, so it's not a perfect comparison, but try to imagine how his eyeshape would look if he were facing directly outward, head held as level as Shigaraki's and RD's are. Do you see how the shape and angles involved would make his eyeshape look more like RD's than Shigaraki's?

Also, there's that funny little arrow point at the end of one of his bangs, the one by his nose that looks more like a baby version of one of Chrono's silly hair arrows than anything we've seen on Shigaraki or Tenko.

So, yeah, I think he is clearly supposed to be reminiscent of Shigaraki/Tenko, presumably for thematic reasons we'll be covering in the last few chapters, but I don't think he is him.

But then, it's only one panel so far, and the very first one at that, on top of the tilted angle. Maybe the resemblance will be more pronounced when he shows up next time. We'll see. Thanks for the ask!

[percheduphere]

How do you think Mobius will live his life in the timeline? Many theorize that something happens to Don and Mobius takes his identity so his sons live with a father. I prefer that Mobius reflects on his old life, realizes he can’t live it, and creates his own life.

Oh, boy, Anon. I have a lot of fanfic ideas for this, but let's get into the meta-analysis side of this before we get into the rabbit hole that is my washer-dryer machine of an imagination.

Mobius is not doing well. He is going through the stages of grief. I've written an extensive meta here regarding the darker aspects of his character and how he's at risk by the end of the series. I also wrote a brief meta here regarding how his grief might manifest.

With this in mind, I actively HATE the idea of Mobius spiraling to the point he becomes "corrupted". I don't what Michael Waldron did to Wanda. I guess you could make the argument that it would be interesting to see a man emotionally unravel in such a way, but I hold Mobius's unshakable kindness dear in my heart. I don't ever want him to lose it because it is essentially his superpower.

[Sidebar: comics canon House of M notwithstanding; Marvel and DC comics canon are consistently horrible in their characterization of exceptionally powerful women: Wanda Maximoff Jean Grey/Phoenix; Carol Danvers/then Ms. Marvel; Rogue; on and on; I'll throw Sylvie in here, too, because why not, it's true.]

I see Mobius mourning Loki for two years. Two years because, statistically, that is how long it takes for most people who've lost an intimate loved one to get out of clinical depression. During this period, I see him losing weight, wandering aimlessly between timelines, trying and failing to copy Don's life by taking a job that involves jet skis or aquatics more generally. B-15 would make a point to check-in on him and know he's not doing well, but Mobius, because he does not want anyone to worry about him, because he is used to being the person who keeps people together, insists he's fine.

MY FANFIC IDEA

I see Mobius eventually recognizing he needs a therapist, which he will find ironic and deeply troubling, but he's not about to give up on trying to live for Loki's sake.

And in his conversations with his therapist and B-15, Mobius will come to realize that he can still use his key strengths outside of the TVA: analyzing people, deconstructing what makes them tick, using that knowledge to help the other person, similar to a therapist but more active in support. Mobius is very well-suited to become a social worker of troubled and at-risk youth. I think he should pursue this and ...

Mobius will choose a branched timeline in the late 90s/early 2000s. There, he will meet a war-orphaned, thirteen year-old Wanda Maximoff, who is friendless and struggling to understand the nature of her powers (magic). Mobius is drawn to her right away. It takes time, but he eventually gains Wanda's trust.

Red. Red is Wanda's color. It's in her hair, her cheeks, her magic. Now that red reaches Wanda's eyes, filled with tears her anger stoppers. "You saw what I can do. What I did. The other kids call me a 'witch' 'cause that's what I am. A witch. A monster."

Mobius sits next to the young girl on the stoop. The sun winks at them through the green tree boughs, and he wonders, for a moment, what Loki might think of him now, finding solace in a child who needs solace.

"That's not true. You're not a monster, but I tell you what: witches are pretty cool." Mobius grins, knocking his knee against hers. The fabric of his slacks shakes, still too loose. "Y'know, my best friend has magic just like yours, except it's green instead of red."

Wanda peers at him, hopeful and dubious. "Really?"

"Yup. He had a tough time, too, being different." He leans closer to her, sharing a secret. "But things got better. You should've seen him. He was--is-- magnificent. You're magnificent."

Her lips purse into an embarrassed smile. She drops her head, thoughtful, and tucks her hands beneath the fold of her knees. "Where is he now? Do you still see him?"

The question is innocent, as all things are with a soul of thirteen. She doesn't mean to hurt him. Mobius knows this. So he takes the thorn of her words and presses it against his ribcage. His throat works. The ache comes and goes but never fully abates.

"Well," Mobius sighs. "He had to move on. Life is like that sometimes. People come and go. Things happen and ... there's not much you can do except hope they're okay. That they're happy and safe."

He can't look up. Not at the tree or the sun. He worries if he does, he'll start to cry, and that won't do when this girl who reminds him so much of his wily god has finally cracked a smile.

"C'mon," he says, rising to his feet. "Let's get you something to eat."

"McDonald's?" Wanda brightens.

Another thorn. He takes that one too and thinks of pretty roses.

"Whatever you want, kiddo."

[andrewwtca]

the Aubrey problem (or how Omori's writing failed her)

Also available to read on Archive of our Own.

I really like video games. If the fanfiction, theory posts, and occasional essays weren’t enough, here’s me saying it—I really like video games! They’re a conversation between writing, art, music, and human interaction, between the player, the game, and the characters in them. Of course, not all games have all of that, some being only text-based, some being lifeless wastelands, but whatever they end up choosing to work with, they often do something amazing.

Sunny is one of my favorite protagonists in any realm of media—video game, movie, book—and he genuinely changed the way I view the world. Not just him, but the entire world built around him, Headspace and its charming inhabitants and the wondrous sights and music, the creative bosses that leave so much insight, the beautiful overworld that is Faraway and a nostalgic look into what we leave behind, and what we return to.

So that’s why I’m so disappointed I don’t like Aubrey.

This game blew my mind away when I first saw it—my first experience with the game wasn’t even my own playthrough, but sitting through a 20-hour longplay!—and I lost so many hours of sleep twisting and turning and trying to make peace with the grief it left me feeling. And after finishing, I realized that its flaws were plenty, but not enough to drag me out of my enjoyment. But Aubrey? Aubrey didn’t make me feel the way I knew she was supposed to.

That frustrated me, especially as I became a bigger and bigger fan of the game. I had no qualms about liking her archetype, the feminine bully with a tragic backstory, and yet I do with her.

As someone who craves literary analysis and in-depth looks into every media I consume, I just needed to know: what made me dislike Aubrey?

And after over two years of being a fan of the game, I’ve finally figured it out: it’s a good mixture of 1) lack of explanation, 2) rushed self-awareness, and 3) lackluster narrative choices. And I’ve found the words I needed to explain these concepts, so please join me on my messy journey to understanding what went wrong with Aubrey.

preface

If you’re an Aubrey apologist, this essay is not for you. I’ve heard plenty of arguments about why Aubrey was actually in the right, not limited to “Basil deserved it,” and, “Aubrey was hurting too,” so I’d like to begin by stating that Aubrey was a bully very clearly.

Rejecting the notion that she actively harmed others is rejecting a core component of understanding her character. Before we dive into her character and how the writing failed her character arc, I would like us all to be on the same page: she physically, verbally, and socially bullied Basil. It was not Basil’s fault, and it will never be a victim’s fault to get bullied. She is not the victim of her own crime, just like how Sunny is not the victim of Mari’s death, and Basil is not the victim of Mari’s hanging. We, as the player, are to recognize their responsibilities in their actions. The same must be extended to Aubrey.

Some people feel the need to deny this aspect of her character to justify her actions and/or justify liking her. Firstly, the purpose of this essay isn’t to villainize anyone for liking Aubrey. I’m simply analyzing what was attempted with her character and why it didn’t strike a chord with me and so many others. Secondly, as Kel wisely said, “Just because you did something bad, doesn't make you a bad person.” I’m not here to say that Aubrey is a bad person—no, nobody in Omori is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and labeling characters as such is taking away the nuance they possess. And I’m certainly not saying liking a character who did something bad makes you bad, either!

Liking Aubrey is in no way a problem (which makes me a tad bit sad that I need to clarify), and I’ll even go as far as to say kudos to you, but if you bend and twist to stop her from holding any responsibility for her actions, that’s when problems arise. Basil is a fictional character and won’t care if you think it was his fault he was bullied, but for the people around you who may have been in similar positions to him?

And lastly, I want to say that if you cite sexism as the reason people don’t like Aubrey… actually, this is the perfect transition into the analysis.

gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss

Femme bullies are not a new phenomenon. Perhaps it’s the break from the stereotypical sweet feminine girl that makes them so fascinating, using their femininity to not sing to animals or wish for a man, but pull down others and advance their status.

I, for one, adore the femme bully trope. Especially if they’re one who used to be extremely kind and underwent some sort of ‘fall from grace’ that led to a bastardization. But, as for all bullies, if they are left without a proper backstory and motivation, I’m turned off from them. Most humans are not mean just because they can be but rather are products of how they were raised. When these causes are ignored, the trope falls flat, and instead of being a good reconstruction, it’s a flat stereotype.

The best way to analyze this is by comparing Aubrey’s character to good examples of femme bullies in the past. Specifically, I’m picking my favorites: Asuka from Neon Genesis Evangelion, Nanami from Revolutionary Girl Utena, and Sophie from The School for Good and Evil. I’m going to do a quick (and a bit sarcastic) overview of their characters in their respective media, but a quick warning for suicide in Asuka’s overview, and animal cruelty in Nanami’s.

Asuka is a pilot for one of the mechas, the Evangelion, and she always thought of herself as better than everyone. Well, of course, she would: she studied hard, worked harder than everyone around her, and she’s just naturally talented. And yet, she’s still always threatened by others and how they can ruin her status. Specifically, for the course of the show, she targets Shinji—he’s this nobody from nowhere who could suddenly pilot an Eva, while she had to fight her whole life to get here! How is that fair? And what has that asshole been through anyway? Did he have to see his mother’s corpse after she committed suicide as a small child? Did he fight for his mother’s love his entire life just for her to kill herself? Does he have to fight for male attention just so he isn’t thrown aside? No, of course not! So how is any of it fair?

Nanami is the sister to the wonderful student body president Touga, and she wants nothing more than his attention. And with her being the youngest of the cast, one cannot be mad at her for not understanding the severity of violence and finality of death, so her anger as a small child with a kitten whom Touga adored is also understandable. One simply cannot be mad at her for drowning it. So, of course, you cannot blame her for wanting to punish the ever-elusive Anthy and Utena, who Touga has become fixated on. What does Anthy or Utena have that Nanami doesn’t? They’re stupid girls, not Touga’s sister. No matter what, Nanami is going to win her brother’s affection (and in her pursuit, ignore how horribly he’s been manipulating her the entire time).

And Sophie is the Witch of Woods Beyond, capable of powerful spells beyond the imagination, from a place that few know of. And she wants nothing more than for her own fairy-tale ending—why do all the princesses around her get princes and castles and beautiful dresses, and she’s doomed to being hideous and alone for the rest of her life? Who decided that for her? She’s beautiful, after all, so she should be a princess! It doesn’t matter who stands in the way of her happily ever after; especially not if it’s Agatha, her lifelong best friend. No matter what, Sophie will not end up like her mother who died all alone, with her husband forgetting her and moving on. Sophie will be loved, no matter who she has to hurt.

What do they all have in common? Firstly, they’re all girls. As stated, femme bullies are different from masc bullies, especially as they reveal aspects of femininity and womanhood in general that many people—see, a male audience—will neglect to face, and overall uncover sexism that's still present in both media and society. Secondly, they’re all bullies, and they targeted someone in particular who they saw as detrimental to their happiness. And thirdly, they all had specific upbringings that conditioned them to have their ‘falls from grace’. What is this third, unidentified thing?

Mommy issues!

(Sorry, I know Nanami technically has a brother complex, but I just wanted to say mommy issues.)

A pattern has been developed with all of these girls. They all start fairly, what one can call, ‘feminine’ or at least, per standard stereotypes. They’re gentle and sweet and shine when needed. And they all have a ‘fall from grace’—a moment, or sequence of moments, that leads them to reject traditional femininity and embrace a more vengeful version of it. And a final moment, where they are faced with their opposite, who represents all that they do not have.

Asuka was sweet and kind and bubbly until her mother killed herself. After that, she dedicated herself to her studies and getting adult male attention through means of the over-sexualization of herself. And then, she began to bully Shinji.

Sophie was sweet and kind and bright until her mother died. After that, she idolized her mother’s false display of femininity and became obsessed with becoming a princess. And then, at the School for Evil, she began to bully Agatha.

Nanami was assumedly sweet—she deviates from this pattern slightly, being built off assumptions of a good past rather than showcases—until she was brought into this family and became obsessed with her brother and was manipulated by him. After that, she became desperate for his attention, fighting any other who could take it. And then, she began to bully Utena (and Anthy.)

While Nanami does deviate from this pattern, they all have clear origins. They were not bullies from the start. As aforementioned, in the face of an adversary, the majority of people do not turn to hurting one another. Something in their pasts, their ‘falls from grace’, was the foundation of their actions, what led them to believe what they were doing was okay. It’s not justification—it's a much-needed explanation. After all, if you do not understand, how can you empathize?

Still, you may fail to see my point. The game has lots of hints of Aubrey’s troubled upbringing. And that’s exactly what the problem is. These girls have clear origins while Aubrey’s is muddled.

Of course, I don’t expect Omori to have spoon-fed me details of her past. You can put the pieces together by walking through her home and seeing bottles laid on the ground. But, even in a game dependent on nuance and having the player put certain things together, it’s better to leave things out directly rather than to work a way around.

To build up a good femme bully, we need a good origin story. What happened to her that made her turn to violence? Why should we care? We know Aubrey probably had a troubled childhood. But the game doesn’t supply enough. It leaves too much to fill in the blanks. I know that Asuka saw her mother’s corpse, I know that Sophie was forced into a misogynistic viewpoint upon her mother’s death, and I know that Nanami was manipulated to hell and back. I know what these girls have been through so I know why they ended up walking their paths.

But the game simply doesn’t reveal enough about Aubrey. Fan speculation is not enough. Canon interpretation should not be confused with fan interpretation—according to the fans, Aubrey’s father is a deadbeat, and her mother is an abusive, neglectful alcoholic. According to the game? Aubrey’s dad is “strict”, and her house is an absolute disaster. The house is one of the biggest clues as to Aubrey’s childhood, and while some may praise this as ‘showing and not telling’, the game never tries to make workarounds for the other characters (which I will dig deeper into later). I can assume what happened in her house but it’s not my job to find ways to empathize with the character; that is the story’s job.

This is the first of Omori’s three sins and we haven’t even scratched the surface.

actions speak more than words, or something like that

I recently saw a post that I thought would make a good intro for this section. It’s an apologist post for Aubrey, discussing how the game did treat her with just enough harshness—that because she’s been beating herself up, because she’s suffered a public breakdown, because it took kindness to help her heal, it’s proof of her regret. There’s some good Basil blaming in there too, with a strange turn saying that she refused to leave Basil’s house because of her willingness to turn over a new leaf. And it ends with a weird claim that she was a “good person all along,” (implying an argument otherwise), but I’m not here to rat on that post.

Despite how frustrated the post made me, I am inclined to agree. It’s black-and-white to state that Aubrey didn’t change at all. If you compare her first Faraway appearance to her final scenes, she’s a completely different person. Which would've been nice if the change didn’t take two scenes.

Much like how I compared Aubrey’s backstory to that of other femme bullies, I’m going to compare Aubrey’s redemption to that of my favorite redemption story in all of media: Riku from Kingdom Hearts (the fact that I’m so in touch with his story may also explain some of my disappointment with Aubrey’s).

Riku starts off his journey on Destiny Islands. He’s always wondered what lies beyond his small home and dreamed of taking a sailboat with his best friends, Sora and Kairi. However, jealousy is an awful thing—Sora and Kairi are close. And it seems that Riku has been hearing about how they’re thinking of leaving him behind. So, he does what any teenager dealing with larger-than-life feelings does: he gives in to the magical Darkness and effectively kills everyone on the islands, separating him, Sora, and Kairi (don’t worry—everyone comes back.)

By the end of the game, he’s come to his senses, but it takes a lot of time. He fights with Sora a lot because he just knows, deep down, that he’s right and Sora is wrong, and if Sora would just listen…but no. Sora keeps abandoning him. So he has to work through that and all the feelings that accompany those abandonment issues, he has to work through the question of “What is even making me want to kill my best friend, anyway?”, and he has to work through “Wait…can I kill my best friend?” So, it takes a lot of time for him to get to his senses.

And then, he goes through hell. Literally and metaphorically. He dedicates himself wholly to making up for what he did. How? Well, he first identifies what he did wrong—he separated from his friends, he gave in to his jealousy, and he submerged his home in Darkness. He apologizes for it directly—although he doesn’t have a chance to speak with Sora right away, he's constantly apologizing for the fact that he gave in to the Darkness, so much that it became a running gag to some fans. He put up distance—he didn’t feel like he was owed forgiveness right away (or at all, but that’s a different matter) and didn’t stick at Sora’s side to wait for his best friend to forgive him. He worked hard to show that he’s changed—it would be a much longer essay if I attempted to explain the lengths he went through, but it’s not limited to allowing himself to be possessed, going to literal Hell, forcing himself into isolation, and enduring multiple handicapping injuries.

Long story short? He really, really tries to make it up to Sora. And when he and Sora finally talk (it took three years in real life, took perhaps a year in the game), Sora doesn’t even hesitate to forgive his friend…though it may be in part to Sora just being Sora. Nevertheless, Riku had earned that forgiveness.

And then, after that, Riku continues to give himself hell! He never stops to sweep what he did under the rug. It’s a part of him, after all, an ugly past but his past nonetheless. It does not define him but it cannot be forgotten, otherwise, he hasn't learned anything at all.

Deep breath. We talked a lot about Kingdom Hearts in an Omori essay. But it’s important to understand the sheer depth put into his redemption: identification, distance, and work.

What’s most frustrating about Aubrey’s arc is that fragments of this good writing exist, but that’s what they are: fragments. I would like it to be stated for the record that everything I explained for Riku’s arc wasn’t me creating speculation based on what the games said. It’s what the games literally came out and said. Aubrey however…

Identification—she apologizes to Sunny, Kel, and Hero by saying “I’m sorry, guys… I’ve been acting like such a jerk.” While I may give her grief for the usage of the word ‘jerk’ when perhaps a stronger, more evocative term would’ve done a better job, it’s certainly better than what she said in front of Basil’s door: "I just wanted to say that… I’m sorry for the way I’ve been treating you.” Completely separating herself from the issue at hand. 

Distance—none. She's immediately reintroduced to her old friend group, at a rate that ended up giving me whiplash the first time around. The question, “What about the Hooligans?” is never brought up, and things are back to how they always were, with no problems at all.

Work—Aubrey stayed the night at Basil’s house, wanting to make sure he was safe. To which, if you end up getting the neutral ending, you get the most insightful message of Aubrey’s arc (which is technically non-canon): “I'm so sorry, Basil. Please forgive me…” If getting the good or bad ending, her staying the night meant literally nothing, as Sunny’s fight took the reins.

These are fragments of a character arc. These are fragments of good characterization. While I praise Omori for how often it appears realistic, this kind of exponential growth simply isn’t. In what world, does someone who’s been bullying someone for four years, take less than two days to realize she’s been a bully and decide to change the entire course of her life?

While I could rat on Aubrey, this isn’t her problem. This is the game misreading what makes a good redemption. Redemption means work. It means effort. It is not a character simply changing their ways. Those characters feel cheap and empty—there’s a reason, after all, why the majority of fans always characterize Aubrey as the mean girl she’s shown to be when she first appeared in fan works. It’s because the ‘new’ Aubrey, the Aubrey buried under layers of hurt, hasn’t earned the right to exist.

The Riku I love in Kingdom Hearts III has earned the right to be angsty and gay and happy and his new self because he’s put in 17 years' worth of effort to become that person. It’s beautiful, it’s inspiring, it’s hopeful—you can make a mistake and go past it. It doesn’t define you. You can be forgiven. You can have hurt and have been hurt and still be worthy of love and loving.

The Aubrey at the end of Omori has not earned the right to be there, simply put. She’s the product of lazy, or ignorant writing, and it feels harsh to type out, but there’s no other way to describe it. Her self-awareness happened too quickly. She passes by Sunny’s house every day, sees Kel playing basketball every day, and could freely visit Mari’s grave whenever she wants—there were four years for her to change who she was. If Kel wasn’t able to give up his toxic positivity until the bitter end of the neutral ending, it’s quite hard to believe that a few hours of just talking made her change her ways. Especially considering that the Hooligans were characterized as her new, accepting friends, who love her and hear her out.

And again, the best fragment of an arc that could’ve been appears in the neutral ending! While it was not directly Aubrey’s actions that led Basil to take his life, it’s very impactful to see her begin to blame herself. It’s not right for her to blame herself—but that’s perhaps the only scene in the entire game where I really sympathized with her. It’s the only scene in the entire game where I truly saw that she wanted to change.

A quick note I wanted to pull out before finishing: the inclusion of the Hooligans. They were, again, fragments of an amazing arc. While they could’ve been a good way to show how kind Aubrey still is, they are thrown aside and mainly included in scenes where Aubrey is still being a bully. It’s in content outside of the game (see: Aubrey birthday comic) that they contrast Aubrey’s harsh exterior and show her sweet insides. But no, they’re underdeveloped and unutilized to make Aubrey’s arc feel doable.

There seems to be a very clear culprit to both this and the femme bully problem, and a solution that should’ve been considered more deeply.

rome wasn’t built in a day

There’s a loud rumor in the Omori fandom that Omori was originally supposed to take place over ten days rather than three days. While I’m not sure how much merit this rumor has, the fact that it exists leads me to my ultimate point:

Omori should’ve been longer.

Specifically, Omori should’ve taken place over a longer period.

EDIT: Before we continue, I just had an excellent conversation with a friend ( /ᐠ ._. ᐟ\ﾉ ). This solution only applies to if one is unwilling to change Aubrey's core character; essentially, the extent of her bullying. By making her someone who goes out of her way to torment Basil, significant screen time is going to be needed to properly unpack all that's been given. Making the base game ten days is only my opinion of the best choice, but there are other ways to solve this. However, the best course of action would be to change the extent of Aubrey's bullying on Basil—in other words, changing how Aubrey's anger presents itself.

For example, she would simply hold a grudge over what she believed was Basil destroying the photos, being extremely passive aggressive towards him. It would make a reconciliation between her and Basil, much, much more doable as well, perhaps him seeking her out in the first place in a peaceful manner to look for the photos. The lake scene could be an emotional explosion for her, perhaps finding out Basil just gave the photo album to Sunny, who is literally about to leave, and then pushes him into the lake. Then, the reflection she has next would fit what has tonally been established, seeming doable. She had, after all, been on good terms with Basil, even if for a little while.

By ‘lackluster narrative choices’, I am referring literally to the belief that Omori should not have been a game that took place in three days. I’m not here to argue about the game's mechanics—should Headspace have been that long? What is the point of a world created to serve as escapism, which should be fleeting moments of happiness, when it ends up being longer than the real world?—as much as I’m here to argue that this is a flaw of the game’s writing as opposed to a game design standpoint.

I’m not going to pretend I know how to make a video game. I’m enthusiastic about them, I follow their development and creation, and I strive to learn as much as I can about the ones that are dear to me, but I’m not going to pretend I know the first thing about making a video game. Omori’s development is one of the most infamous parts of its legacy, and the notion of extending the game would’ve only been another strain on the extended period between its announcement and its final release.

But, I know how to tell a story. Or, at the very least, I know what makes a good story. Now, the three days format of the game serves its other protagonists amazingly.

Sunny, whose arc mainly develops through the interfering ideas established in the real world and the ones previously established in Headspace, doesn’t need an extended time in the real world. His story takes place in his dreams, and the foundations of Headspace are already extremely insecure, based on the idea of covering up the truth. But when faced with a separate truth in reality, despite only a brief exposure, the lies created to protect Headspace fall apart. So Sunny’s arc does not depend on how long he spent in the real world.

Kel and Hero, on the other hand, have a very small arc. They are not flat and are very much dynamic when you compare how they started and how they ended up. However, the majority of their arc had taken place off-screen. The majority of their characterization does not occur through direct interaction with Sunny—we don’t learn about Hero’s depression because of him having a breakdown, but rather Kel discussing it. And in that same scene, we learn about Kel’s toxic positivity and the strain it’s taking on him, rather than through the game. This recontextualization is perfect for Kel and Hero. The change that occurred after Mari’s death is not easily seen by Sunny, and through it being slowly revealed instead, we learn the nature of their changes. Nonetheless, their changes occurred after Mari’s death and another change will occur most likely after the revelation of the truth—either way, their character arcs do not depend on the length of the three days. No amount of time would’ve changed them without Sunny revealing the truth (and as aforementioned, Sunny’s time was well spent in Headspace).

And finally, Basil. He's in the same boat as Kel and Hero, having an arc that occurs entirely off-screen. The difference is, however, the amount of emphasis the game puts on what happened to him as opposed to a few cutscenes with the brothers (though it is understandable, given his role as the game’s deuteragonist). His arc is a downward spiral, from an already unstable boy to an insecure mess who becomes obsessed with the sole idea of keeping his best friend safe. While it’s a progression of who he used to be, it’s development nonetheless, and it also happens off-screen. Given Basil’s fragile mindset, furthermore, the appearance of Sunny suddenly was enough to throw him off, given he was already planning on taking his own life. His rapid spiral into an even worse mess which leads to the fight between him and Sunny, therefore, is understandable. And, similarly to Kel and Hero, his real change will only occur after Sunny reveals the truth. Basil’s character development does not at all depend on how long the game would be.

The simple fact is that the other characters do not go through a drastic change on the days that Sunny comes out, and Sunny’s change was fueled by the existence of Headspace, not by the real world. The game taking place in three days does not affect the others. That is good storytelling. Using the game’s time frame to properly convey their arcs having occurred off-screen.

Aubrey, however, is not subject to that same praise. Her arc occurs on screen—while she descended to becoming a bully after Mari’s death, the arc we the viewer are supposed to acknowledge is her redemption. And three days just isn’t enough time.

The last two problems I covered, a lack of detailed backstory and a general lack of redeeming actions, lie in the same problem: the game went past those scenes far too quickly, as though Aubrey’s redemption is not essential to understanding her. It’s as though the game is trying to place importance on relationships and the joys of rekindling, rather than having to actually rekindle a relationship, having to put in the work. If the game had been slightly longer, Aubrey’s story could’ve been dealt with in a far more effective manner.

I am not Omocat, nor am I a part of the development team. I do not have the ideal solution for what could’ve been. I do, however, have a few ideas that I’d like you, my audience, to consider. How much do you think the game would’ve changed if it was ten days instead of three?

As already explained, Sunny, Kel, Hero, and Basil would not have had any significant difference if the game took place longer. Perhaps, there would’ve been a more natural awkwardness present that accompanies talking to someone for the first time in four years, but aside from that, the events of the game would’ve just taken longer.

Aubrey, however, would’ve had some actual thinking time. Her fight in the church would be her turning point, and her then isolation would feel like she had time to think things over. For a few days, Aubrey would have to be absent, and given the impression she left on the players, this absence would be heavily felt. It would be her return so much more effective, especially if she returns as someone who is unsteady due to their actions.

For the next few days, leading up to Aubrey deciding to stay the night at Basil’s house, we have the chance to know and forgive her better—perhaps, similar to Kel talking to Sunny about Hero’s depression, Aubrey can explain what it was like growing up in her household. Not as a defense, but as an explanation. She would do things with the rest of the group, and she would at a more natural rate, be integrated once again. And not just anything! She would actively help them with whatever the ten days would have to offer, and it would show that she is hurting over her actions.

And, finally, when she would decide to stay at Basil’s house, it wouldn’t feel like the game was just trying to have the cast together for one last moment, but it would feel like she’s trying to bridge the gap of all the hurt she created. When she would go to Basil’s door, it wouldn’t feel like the game was just trying to convince us to forget about her actions, but it would feel like she’s reflected and attempted a new leaf. And hopefully, the game would offer a more heartfelt apology, given more context and material to work with.

Four years of bullying can’t go away in ten days. But that’s not what the game was trying to argue in the first place—it wasn’t fully erasing Aubrey’s action, but trying to create the stepping stone for a way back. But the three days poorly argued her case, with a rushed and lacking version of redemption, and it made her ‘final character’ feel poor.

At the very least, ten days would have allowed the audience to empathize and begin to understand her. And, more importantly, it would’ve made sense that she understood the weight of her actions. And the Aubrey she became, whoever that girl would be?

She would’ve been so, so loved.

a little love in our lives

This has been on my mind for an awful lot of time. Sunny, as aforementioned, is one of my favorite characters of all time (if not my favorite), but the entire cast has a spot in my heart and is very dear to me. That includes Aubrey, but she benefits from association, which hurts me—I hate when girls in media are defined by their relationships with other guys. I wanted to get to the heart of why I couldn’t get her to stand on her own.

To summarize: Aubrey’s character was criminally mismanaged. Instead of it being a hopeful story of redemption, someone finally breaking the cycle of abuse and breaking free of her toxic household, seeking forgiveness by taking an active part in Basil’s healing, she is let off too quickly and makes all her further scenes feel twice as empty. The ideal solution would have been to have the game take place over a larger period, rather than a rushed three days, to allow the audience to empathize and relate to her.

Aubrey apologists truly astound me. I find so many flaws in her writing, and yet other people manage to see those flaws as perfections. I see people making very absurd, ableist arguments, and it makes me question the humanity of many fans, but I’ve always been intrigued by how many different perspectives there are surrounding her. I’ve seen some who relate to her because they were bullies or because they’ve been abandoned by others; so some valid reasons, and others very concerning. But it’s telling how our own experiences make us relate to different characters and help us understand why someone stands in the places they do.

…do you see what I did there? I started talking about relating backgrounds and how that benefits our understanding and— yeah, I suppose you understand, if you got this far (almost 6k words, you should be proud of yourself). If you’re still unfazed and believe that Aubrey’s writing was splendid, all the power to your fannish behaviors. But if I’ve opened your eyes a bit as to the flaws in her writing or if I’ve been able to explain your dislike of her, then I’m glad. It’s important to discuss things that didn’t stick the way they were meant to so that we can do better and we can learn.

Omori’s writing failed Aubrey. Some fans took that as a challenge. I’ve said before that canon interpretation should be separate from fanon interpretation, but I’d have to be heartless (Kingdom Hearts pun intended) to say that many fan’s interpretations didn’t get me to feel with her. I think Aubrey could’ve been brilliant, and while Omori didn’t fully capture that, a lot of fans did. So to everyone who makes art, whether it’s a drawing, a written work, a video, a song, an edit, or whatever, thank you for sharing it. Thank you for telling your stories.

I feel like writing these analysis pieces without connecting them to our own life experiences is pointless. So, to everyone else, please tell your stories. Tell your stories of redemption and love and forgiveness, because that’s what Aubrey’s story was meant to be about, and that’s what we all need in this world. Tell your stories, no matter what they are, because that is what ties us all together. We are made of stories and we return to them. We learn from them and we become better people. We become kinder—and we could all use a little more kindness in the world.

Thanks for reading!

[multifandom-onigiri]

Ok I’m going to rip off the bandage and talk about the age gap discourse surrounding DarkMilk

I’m going to preface this with a few disclaimers

1. The post is mainly going to center around Dark Choco as a character because there is (unsurprisingly) more to be said about Dark Choco Cookie from what I’ve gathered. (Edit: There was a lot more to be said.)

2. This post isn’t here to force you to change your interpretation or have your take away from this post as “I have to see Dark Choco as this age” or “DarkMilk’s age gap is [insert said range]”. Rather, it’s me presenting an interpretation with an analysis of the game. But nothing about their ages is explicitly confirmed or denied so I could be wrong. You could be wrong too. None of us are the writers.

3. Around half of this post relies on analyzing the Korean names of Dark Choco and Milk. As seen in my pinned post, I’m not Korean so I ran this post through with a mutual who is. That being said, that doesn’t mean this post is immediately 100% right so please correct this post if needed. (To the mutual in question, thank you so much for the help I really mean it.)

A while ago, I found a tweet and then a conversation under it between two users about young prince dark choco’s age based on his name is written in Korean: 어린 왕자.

It’s stated as such on the wiki for Cookie Run Ovenbreak (italicized because we’ll get to this in a bit) but here’s a screenshot in game

There’s two things to note with 어린 왕자

1) 어리다 means young but significantly so (as in the age of the person numerically is small, and thus they can be easily recognized as a child).

2) 어린 왕자 is apparently also the official Korean title for the book The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (Named as such for the young boy dubbed as the little prince and also yeah I’ve never read this book… else I’d have a segment in this post in speculating why this is the case)

Out of curiosity (and also because I hate missing or getting info wrong), I checked the Cookie Run (for Ovenbreak) wiki to confirm that’s how Young Prince was written. And then I rewatched the CRK Dark Mode cutscenes.

Turns out they changed the way they refer to Young Prince Dark Choco: 어린 왕자 다크초코 쿠키-> 젊은 시절의 다크초코 쿠키

Notable changes are:

1) For starters, 젊은 시절의 다크초코 쿠키 directly translates to “Dark Choco Cookie of Youth��. Note that the word prince was added in the English localization and is not included in the original text.

2) 젊다 is a different word that also means young. Specifically, it refers to being young in thought or action. However, it’s not the same type of young (think like how you would treat a baby/toddler vs. how you’d treat an older teen. With a baby, they’ve just started living and thus know very little about how things and people work. It’s cute at times and annoying at other times. On the other hand, teenagers are still children but they’ve lived much longer than babies, so you expect them to be more mature/responsible than a 5 year old). Also unlike 어리다, 젊다 can be used to describe anyone that’s younger than you and doesn’t really suggest a certain age range because it depends on the speaker and the person they’re referring to.

The big question that can be taken away from this is:

1) Why the change from 어리다 -> 젊다 ?

Disclaimer: I’m not Devsisters so I can really only make guesses but here’s the take we ended up with.

The writers for CRK realized that using the word 어리다 ended up making Young Prince Dark Choco seem younger than he should be, and that 젊다 was a more reasonable choice to properly depict Dark Choco’s age.

Something interesting that was brought up in addition to this point while this section was being checked over is that 어린 왕자 다크초코 쿠키 makes Young Prince Dark Choco sound like he’s a naive little boy who doesn’t know anything about the world because he is too young while 젊은 시절의 다크초코 쿠키 makes him sound like he’s a proper aged man who went through lots of things to obtain many achievements.

I’d also like to point out that they also haven’t changed the way they refer to Young Prince Dark Choco in CROB. It’s still 어린 왕자 다크초코 쿠키 (and I took the screenshot yesterday as of writing this to double check). And both CRK and CROB are treated as mainline games (but probably alternate universes) that are no more canon than the other.

If you ask me what this possibly means, I really don’t have an answer LOL

“So if they aged Young Prince Dark Choco up in CRK, how much older is he supposed to be compared to? Is it possible they aged him up to be an adult?”

The answer to these questions can be found on a specific post posted on March 25th, 2022 by @ gingerbrave_dev on instagram (and @ GingerBrave_Dev on twitter). Gingerbrave_dev is one of the official Cookie Run accounts.

It’s a collage of 4 pictures that depict Dark Choco Cookie growing up. The caption on both Instagram and Twitter is the same which reads as follows:

The important thing here is that Young Prince Dark Choco is *included* in this collage which is said by an official Cookie Run account to be a depiction of his childhood.

Meaning that it’s more likely that if there’s a possible cutoff for Young Prince Dark Choco’s age, the oldest Young Prince Dark Choco could be is 18. (The age range for adolescence, the last stage of child development, is between 13 - 18). But because they include Young Prince Dark Choco in this post, I personally think that Young Prince Dark Choco isn’t meant to be an adult overall.

(Ok quick edit: Adolescence is apparently the transitionary stage between childhood and adulthood but tbh I’m not sure if most people sit down and double check that every exact piece of info aligns with the correct word and definition when designing a character).

And that’s pretty much all I have on official statements and canon that directly (not really) talks about Young Prince Dark Choco’s age.

However, I want to shift the focus from discussing directly about what his age is to why I personally read Young Prince Dark Choco more as a teenager.

When I first saw Young Prince Dark Choco back in 2019, what stuck out to me was the stark contrast between this past version of Dark Choco and his current self. Young Prince Dark Choco is so much more hopeful and driven compared to his current self. He exudes a lot more confidence based on his lines and his main goal in CROB is to save his kingdom by gaining more power. We get the implications from how pessimistic current Dark Choco is that his own actions (obtaining the Strawberry Jam sword) leads to his kingdom’s downfall and he regrets those actions from his past.

For me, that was how I originally concluded he was a teenager. And honestly, I never really reflected about the actual reasoning until we started having this discourse 2 years later because the headcanon just seemed really natural to me.

Fast forward to January/February 2021 with the release of Cookie Run Kingdom, which ended up giving us a lot more lore on Dark Choco. There are two things that are relevant to my proposition of Dark Choco being a teenager.

1) The CRK Artbook

First released during the game’s release, it contains concept art of the world building and the characters (playable characters at the start of the game + ancients + legendaries), who get their own page or two to themselves.

I’m pulling this image off the internet because the one thing that stands out to me and that is also relevant to what we’re talking about is that the current Dark Choco presents more similarly to when he was a child (they’re both quiet and hold serious expressions on their faces).

Meaning that Young Prince Dark Choco is confirmed to not be Dark Choco’s original personality (for lack of better words. I don’t know how to word this better). And seeing Dark Choco and Dark Cacao standing next to each other, you can see how much they resemble each other. Like father, like son.

So the question is: why is Young Prince Dark Choco’s demeanor completely different from when he was younger?

Personally, I think the answer is much more simple than one might think: Young prince Dark Choco was a teenager. More specifically (and this is how I’ll segueway into the next section), Young Prince Dark Choco was an earnest teenager prince who began to question and challenge the traditions/structure of the Dark Cacao Kingdom and of his father.

2) Dark Choco, Dark Cacao, and the Generational Divide that Drives Them Apart

The release of Dark Mode would bring both a lot more long-awaited lore for Dark Choco, and also Dark Cacao Cookie, who piqued people’s interest especially since he is Dark Choco’s father.

The most significant moments happen through the magic-induced flashbacks Dark Choco is forced to relive through, where Young Prince Dark Choco interacts with multiple people. This includes his Dark Cacao, who is the only person to have two separate flashbacks.

The first flashback is a conversation between Dark Choco and Dark Cacao which will be posted below:

What Dark Choco says here stands out to me: “Our Kingdom is in need of change…! We can’t keep hiding behind our walls!

The Dark Cacao Kingdom’s walls is a major subject of Chapters 13 and 14, as one of the main conflicts in that chapter is between the people and Dark Cacao. The villagers outside the kingdom’s walls have been struggling with food shortages and attacks from wild animals. They’ve been trying to contact the king for help but Affogato intercepts and closes the door on them before they can. Meanwhile, most of the resources are being used on maintaining the kingdom’s walls, which causes a change in the portion of the food Dark Cacao’s subjects are receiving. Affogato takes advantages of this to try to cause dissent among Dark Cacao’s court, which was his original plan until the Cookies of Darkness show up.

What’s revealed about why Dark Cacao spends so much time and resources on maintaining the kingdom’s walls is that the walls serve as a safeguard against the Licorice monsters in the Licorice Sea from overtaking the land and eventually the entire world. We get to see a great example of this as Licorice Cookie summons a gigantic Licorice Monster that proceeds to break down a significant portion of the walls.

So from what we read in chapters 13 and 14, we can conclude that the walls is very necessary in protecting the Dark Cacao Kingdom and the Licorice Monsters are nothing to be laughed at. They’re formidable enemies.

It’s very likely from the way that the walls are Dark Cacao’s #1 priority rather than directly addressing whatever is happening with the villages outside the walls that Dark Cacao probably has had previous firsthand experience with the Licorice Monsters and consider them that much of a serious threat.

From the way Young Prince Dark Choco talks to Dark Cacao in the flashback, it sounds like he doesn’t share the same perspective as Dark Cacao.

This is why I think Young Prince Dark Choco being a teenager is a major factor into this difference of perspective.

The thing about teenagers is that during that stage of life, they are going through a lot or at least they think they’re going through a lot because that’s when puberty starts to kick in and the hormones start jumping over the place.

They start questioning their identity. Who they are, what they want to be, what their role is in society. They’re trying to figure out how to be their own person.

They can start questioning the rules. Why am I doing [insert here] ? Why doesn’t Mom and Dad let me do this and that? Why do I have to do this? And because of this, they can become defiant and challenge authority and even what they previously just accepted as fact.

Because of this, teenagers take risks and can make bad or stupid decisions all the time. They end up clashing more with their parents because their parents recognize that their kid will regret what they’re doing later due to the consequences their kid will have to face (and possibly even due to firsthand experience when they themselves were teenagers).

I think all of this applies to this particular flashback.

a) Questioning

Young Prince Dark Choco argues that the kingdom, and by extension, the way Dark Cacao runs it needs to change. He describes kingdom’s walls not as defense, but as a means to hide, which frames the amount of time that the people of the Dark Cacao Kingdom have been living behind as a sign of fear/cowardice. This is also in response to Dark Cacao telling him that he’s still young and has a lot to learn. The flashback seems to throw us, the reader, right into the middle of the conversation without any previous context but with Dark Choco’s response, I think the conversation they were having is overall related to Young Prince Dark Choco’s response.

b) Identity

Something to keep in mind that every person is unique and how they grow up is largely influenced by their environment (the family and friends around them, their socioeconomic status, etc).

Young Prince Dark Choco is not your average human being Cookie. He is the son of Dark Cacao, who is the one of the most powerful cookies in the entire cast outside of the legendaries and the dragons, a warrior known for his abnormal strength (the sword he uses takes 3 regular cookies to carry it) and heroic deeds (like splitting the White and Black Dragon which is treated like a legendary tale), and due to all of the previous, an esteemed king beloved by all of his subjects.

By being the son of Dark Cacao and therefore, the prince of the Dark Cacao Kingdom, Young Prince Dark Choco had a whole legacy to live up to. And although we know Young Prince Dark Choco ends up not being able to live to that legacy due to the Strawberry Jam Sword, we do know from other characters that Dark Choco at that time was doing really well.

Note that if Caramel Arrow, the First Watcher, says that Dark Choco Cookie taught her how to use the bow, then that means that he is most likely also exemplary not with just swordsmanship but also archery as well.

Also don’t forget about how Dark Choco saves the Milk Village from a pack of cream wolves, which leaves a great impression on the Milk Cookie we know.

For the most part, I think Young Prince Dark Choco cares about the people and the kingdom he lives in. He seems very earnest in wanting to help his kingdom from what can be seen in his costume lines in CROB.

But I also think there’s one more underlying possibility behind Young Prince Dark Choco’s character: Young Prince Dark Choco wants to be a hero like his own father because he wants his father’s approval.

In Chapter 14. Dark Choco and Dark Cacao have a very heated conversation right before they try to kill each other. In this conversation, Dark Choco talks about the grievances he’s held against his father over the many years since he was banished. One of the grievances that he mentions is about how he wishes his father cared about him more.

(Note: There’s been issues with the ENG dub for Ch 13 and 14 where the localization makes Dark Choco come off as harsher and more insensitive (so to speak) even if it’s not accurate to the original text.

For the first screenshot, a more accurate translation would be “Ever since I was little, you didn’t give me anything sweet and treated me harshly. We were not even close as father and son like other people.”

Second screenshot is fine.)

This is later acknowledged by Dark Cacao himself as who says after they finish their heated conversation, fight, and finish their sword fight with Dark Cacao defeating Dark Choco: “It is clear as day now… My life’s greatest regret is that I never gave you enough… love”. (And this acknowledgment and really the confrontations leading up to the acknowledgment is the key to Dark Choco finally being able to break away from the sword, but that’s an analysis for another day).

There’s also these illustrations from the art book that stand out to me in this regard (and also makes me depressed). The first illustration showcases young Dark Choco walking behind his father and in his shadow. It actually gets redrawn in a different perspective in the collage of Dark Choco’s childhood I showed earlier, where it adds the detail of young Dark Choco tugging at Dark Cacao’s cloak. In the second illustration, Dark Choco is holding onto the Strawberry Jam sword and staring down at Dark Cacao, who is seated and bent over.

The thing that stays consistent is that Dark Cacao’s back is turned towards him, and I think this represents both this distance in their relationship and Dark Choco’s inability to ever connect with Dark Cacao very well.

I think the combination of his accomplishments during this part of his life and his desire to be closer to his father and gain his approval causes Dark Choco to start both overestimating his abilities and coming to the wrong conclusions. And I don’t necessarily mean this as “Dark Choco became arrogant” because even Dark Cacao says it himself: “What a bright and responsible child he was… Kind, humble…”

But I do believe the reason Young Prince Dark Choco’s costume lines in CROB and the monologue Dark Choco gives after he decides to quit working for Dark Enchantress talks about power and how he was looking for it is because Young Prince Dark Choco wrongly assumed that the kingdom’s problems were a result of not having enough power and then concluded that he could solve those issues if he found a way to become more powerful.

And with what I talked about earlier about how Dark Cacao most likely considers the Licorice Monsters a serious threat that can’t instead just be simply dealt and done with, there’s a chance that Dark Choco not only overestimates his own abilities but also underestimates how powerful and dangerous the Licorice Monsters are because he’s likely never had any firsthand experience with them in his lifetime unlike Dark Cacao.

And my guess is that Dark Cacao noticed this and tried to advise Dark Choco against this conclusion, and that’s what at the root of the first flashback between Young Prince Dark Choco and Dark Cacao.

3) Defiance

Unfortunately, the last two sections I’ve just talked about ends up leading to what we know ends up happening to Dark Choco. He does not listen to Dark Cacao. He finds the Strawberry Jam Sword, believing that it’ll give him the power he needs to solve his problems. Instead he falls prey to what the sword whispers to him, and this results in slashing his father in the chest. This results in Dark Cacao banishing Dark Choco from entering the Dark Cacao Kingdom.

TDLR for this section: The difference in the years of experience between Dark Choco and Dark Cacao causes a major clash between them on how to tackle the Dark Cacao Kingdom’s current issues. Out of both an earnest desire to help the Kingdom he grew up in and the people he grew up with and cares about and a desire to gain his father’s approval by striving to be the type of hero his father is, Dark Choco looks for the Strawberry Sword and falls victim to its powers, which heavily damages the relationship between father and son all the way until Chapter 14 of CRK.

You’ve probably reached this part still absorbing a bunch of information and speculation I’ve thrown at you. Unfortunately, I still have to talk about Milk so yes the post somehow still isn’t over. Luckily or unluckily (depending on how you interpret it), there’s a lot less stuff I can really say about his age, and there won’t be a very extensive character analysis like there is with Dark Choco because Milk Cookie does not have nearly the amount of lore or dedicated writing as Dark Choco does.

Milk in the Dark Mode flashbacks in CRK is referred to as 우유 일족의 어린 쿠키 which translates to Young Cookie of the Milk Tribe. As you can see, the word 어리다 is used to refer to Milk, indicating that Milk Cookie was definitely a child. He’s nowhere close to being an adult.

Unlike with Dark Choco, there really aren’t any other details in his backstory that really suggest a certain age range. The most prominent characteristics about Milk Cookie is that he is strongly attached to his beliefs, and within those beliefs is the belief that Dark Choco is an infallible hero that stems from what happened in the past. The root of that belief is admiration, and admiration… isn’t an age-specific trait. You can look up to many types of people and have role models at any point of your life.

I think really the one thing that does get indicated is that Milk is undeniably younger than Dark Choco.

The first image is the concept art for Milk Cookie that was released around Milk Cookie’s release (I assume. I didn’t see this until 2-3 years later). The second image is from the background of Milk’s doctor costume’s gacha art in CROB.

I think that stands out to me the most is that after staring at it, both of these share a pretty similar height gap between them. However, the second photo makes both of them seem taller especially Milk because of Dark Choco’s legs, which are almost half of his body, gets cut off by the photo. The first image also makes Dark Choco seem a lot bigger because of how it’s sketched out (the shoulder pads and cloak end up making Dark Choco look a lot bigger than he actually is in general LOL).

If you asked me to try to gauge the age gap between these two photos, the only thing I’d tell you really is that there’s no way it’s a 10-15 year age gap; height gap is way too short for that. But I can’t tell you a definitive guess because I’m going to be honest: Cookie Run does not do a great job telling you the ages of characters and just leaves it up to the reader to interpret themselves. There’s not really a standard for what a teenager looks like in Cookie Run, and I feel like that’s the reason why people in this fandom really sort characters into either children or adults. It’s because of this that I also think that nobody in the fandom really knows how to determine that themselves, or else I wouldn’t have written a whole analysis on why I think it’s actually reasonable to see Dark Choco as a teenager in this post. (And there’s also a few other characters that have also gone through age discourse but I don’t want to even touch that right now at all LOL).

(Edit at 12:22 pm because I feel like I need to add this: It’s not the fandom’s fault for not being able to determine ages. It’s solely on Devsisters alone because if the writers aren’t clear, then it’s much harder for the fandom to agree upon anything.)

I also think that realistically you can’t really… come up with an infallible standard for how tall a person is supposed to be at a certain age because people grow up differently depending on multiple factors. People of the same age group aren’t all the same height or weight in real life.

And it’s even more difficult to tell literally anything if the writers refuse to actually confirm anything clearly and instead use vague descriptive terms.

That being said, I can’t actually point at you and say you’re wrong because of what age gap you give to Milk and Dark Choco because as I said in the beginning of this post, I don’t know anything. I also think it does go both ways though, and less people should stop acting like their interpretation has been completely canonized.

But at the end of the day, we’ll keep reading the same stories from the same franchise and interpret how we want to. I HC DarkMilk with a two year age gap. You don’t have to agree (and I bet a lot of people don’t LOL). And that’s okay.

If you ask me whether I’ll make another post talking about this topic, the answer is an absolute resounding no because I think this is the most in-depth I could possibly be about this topic to the point this is definitely my longest post ever. I don’t think there is anything else I can say.

If you liked this analysis, you don’t need to do anything. If you’re extremely tired from reading this, this is the most understandable reaction to this post, and I hope you have a good day.

[1moreff-creator]

Happy Birthday, Veronika Grebenshchikova!

I have a confession to make. Despite my account being themed after Min and having made several posts analyzing her... I may like Veronika just as much, if not more than Min. Ever since her introduction, this Horror Fanatic has brought a smile to my face every time she comes on screen. Literally. Whenever I see her, my face immediately splits into the dumbest grin, I just adore her far too much. There's a lot we still haven't seen about her, but in honor of her birthday, I shall give a few of the reasons I love this freak to the death, and make a sort of birthday playlist as a gift.

+The main motivation for everything she does is boredom, as stated in her conversation with Teruko on Ch 2 Ep 7. Her profile states she took on her talent to seek thrills.

+This obsession with entertainment twists her personality quite a bit. “I don't care about morals. I don’t care whether people get hurt or whether they die. I just need to be entertained”. She’s honestly such a queen.

+Her twisted morals lead to her hanging out with people based on how entertaining they are instead of, like, normal standards for hanging out with people. Arturo is example number one.

"If you become more and more irredeemable, then I'll only love you more. I want to hear all about those horrible things you did with no justification".

She would be a standard Danganronpa fan, is what I get from this line.

+She has claimed she “used to be an outdoors person”, but apparently isn’t anymore. Whether she simply got bored of the outdoors, or there was something more traumatic at play, is still unclear.

+Her profile states she likes skateboarding. I adore this fact. Why there aren’t piles of fanart where she’s skateboarding, I don’t know. Get on it, people! /j. Unless?

(Also, I like to headcanon that she used to skateboard with Whit in their time at Hope’s Peak, but she was actually really bad at it. She constantly fell on her face, but always got back up laughing her ass off)

+The upper part of her dress is black and white, colors associated with the Tragedy and horror in the DRDT universe. This is stated by Veronika herself in Ch 2 Ep 2. However, this color scheme also kickstarts what I like to call:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mastermind Bingo! Ft Veronika

>She wears black and white, like Monokuma and MonoTV.

>She gets bored easily, and it drives her actions, like Junko and especially Izuru.

>She constantly psychoanalizes people, again like Junko.

>She has childish tendencies (read: likes the playground), which can be connected back to the Warriors of Hope and Monaca.

>"If I wore contacts, a wig, and different clothes, would you recognize me?"

So, thinking a bit like Tsumugi there.

>"That's why I liked horror for such a long time. The genre seeks to elicit base, negative emotions out of you, like fear, disgust, or sadness... That's exciting"

She is one step removed from outright claiming she likes despair! What is this?!

Also, liked, horror? As in, past tense? Is that implying she doesn't feel satisfied with horror anymore?

>"But after a while, fiction is only fiction..."

You look me in the eyes and tell me that's not something Tsumugi would say. She has aspects of every main-line mastermind! I wouldn't be surprised if she starts taking notes from other fangans, I'm half expecting her to start talking about "the resurrection of Divine Luck" or something.

>And that's not even mentioning things like her quote for Mai; "A girl who didn't foresee the consequences". Right, because Veronika would be the one to get the most ominous quote after MonoTV's "It's all your fault".

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To be clear, I don’t actually think Veronika’s the mastermind. I just find it funny how incredibly suspicious she is, to the point of not being suspicious in the slightest.

+CW for self-harm for this one. It is heavily theorized her secret is "You only took on your talent to distract from your incessant need to harm yourself for fun". After all, she is one of the only remaining characters who covers her wrists and most of her body, and doing something like that "for fun"... sort of only fits Veronika, as far as we know.

+Her secret quote is: "Once something is broken, it can never be pieced together in quite the same way again. The same goes for people." Whether she's talking about herself or someone else is unclear.

+The recent Q&A confirmed the following:

•Veronika is pansexual! Congrats on getting her, pansexual community! A true win for you.

•The earing she wears (a small green triangle) was given to her by her “dearest friend”. This friend's name is apparently Alyssa Belyaeva, taking the dubious honor of having a weirder last name than even Grebenshchikova.

•Her favorite color is white with other colors, since it makes the others stand out more, and her least favorite is white by itself, since it’s “soulless”. That’s… huh. Is that meant to mean anything? Could it be she sees herself as the color white; uninteresting and boring on her own, but helps other people seem more interesting by association? Am I reading too much into this? Probably, but that’s sort of my shtick at this point.

•Her favorite ice cream flavor is funfetti. Based.

•She smells strongly like women’s perfume. I guess, why not, right? Notably, Hu smells like women’s perfume as well, but it’s apparently fainter. Doubt it means anything, but it’s there.

+Veronika can do no wrong. This is an objective truth. Slay queen (but, wait to like, chapter five. I really, really hope you don’t die at three).

And finally, like I did with Min, here's a few songs which remind me of Veronika! And as you're gonna see, my music taste sort of really aligns with the kind of songs one would assign Veronika.

CW, some of these can include topics like murder and extremely disturbing imagery.

-The Chattering Lack of Common Sense, by Ghost & Pals

-End World Normophaty, by Ghost & Pals

-Hide And Seek (English cover by Lizz Robinet), original by Ho-Ong-i

-Corrosion, by Riproducer / RIP

-Chronic Wasting Disease, by Riproducer / RIP

-The Spider and the Kitsune-Like Lion, by MASA Works (CW for this one in particular, it's really fucked up. Cannibalism, torture, necrophilia, etc)

-Hi-fi Evolution Theory, by Keu Studio (probably her character playlist song)

-What Gave it Away, by Riproducer / RIP

-Matryoshka, by Hachi

-Honey I'm Home, by Ghost & Pals

-Entomologists, by Ghost & Pals

-The Experiment, by Steampianist

-The Boy who Went to Hell, by SHUDDER

-Secrets of Wysteria, by Steampianist (CW, this one is based on real events of violent crimes)

-The Dismemberment Song, by Blue Kid

-Mad Hatter, by Melanie Martinez

-Uncanny, by Ghost & Pals

-God-ish, by PinocchioP

-I Can't Fix You, by The Living Tombstone (Veronika loves FNAF, you can’t convince me otherwise)

-Always Wanted, by MiatriSs - SayMaxWell

-The Red Means I Love You, by Madds Buckley

-Already Dead, by KittenSneeze

Alright, I'll stop there. With the final song:

-Happy Birthday! (but, like, a creepy cover or something)

[tobiasdrake]

Still venting about my mom but didn't want to take over OP's post any more than I already did. So this is just going to be a big ol' oversharing mess.

Seriously, though. My mom insists that she just recognizes my skills and I'd be a good fit for her company. But she has no idea what I do. Just that I'm good at computers.

The only thing she's ever been able to say about my abilities is that I "type fast, but not as fast as me, wink."

I type 119 wpm. This is a woman who needed me to come to her office once because "The window is supposed to be big. Like, the entire screen, big. But it's just this in this little window now. How do I make it big?"

No shame meant for people who aren't super experienced working in data. But I'm going to need some convincing before I believe that her repeated, insistent job offers are really because she understands the value of my work and not at all because I'm her kid.

During one of my refusals to come work for her, she once actually said to me, to my face, "Everybody has a price." No hint of irony or self-awareness at all.

When I started becoming more politically aware, I'd try to have conversations with her about the things I was learning. Because she was my mom, and I loved her.

As I spent more time living in the lower-class and got to know the experiences of being poor and listening to minority voices and exploring what it means to be neurodivergent and LGBT, I would bring what I was learning to the table. Because I was discovering things I never knew were there, and I thought she didn't know either. I thought she was as ignorant as I was discovering myself to be.

She was not. She had the typical conservative rhetoric in-hand to stamp down on everything I tried to share with her. Drugs. Crime. Welfare.

The day I gave up on her, the day I realized who she really was, was after Trump got elected. When she told me to my face that she voted for Trump because of a Hispanic family down the street that has a nicer truck than hers. "It's not fair, because those people don't have to pay taxes." So she wanted Trump to come in and deport them. For having a nice truck.

I don't even know if they're even immigrants. I don't think she knows either. I think it'd be pretty hard to afford an acre of land in rural America and a nicer truck than a rich white woman's if you were working undocumented migrant wages. So I'm like 80% sure she's racist-ing at documented American citizens.

And it's still not okay even if she's not.

That was the day I realized that she isn't just uneducated about these issues. She is a hateful bigot. She thinks civil rights are over because we solved feminism, the only civil rights cause that matters. And she thinks we solved feminism because she, personally, has a cushy job and plenty of wealth and can live on a horse ranch where she never has to see other human beings again.

My mom has always loved the idea of me. She's proud of having a son. Of being a mom. But we've never had any shared interests or activities. She's upset because she tried to get me into horses when I was a kid, and I didn't take to them.

She warned me when I was five that you shouldn't go behind the horse because it can kick your head clean off. And from that moment on, that's all I could think about any time I saw a horse. Dangerous animal can take my head right off. I did not enjoy any attempt she made to put me and horses in the same space.

And she's always kinda held that against me. That I didn't take interest in the activities she enjoyed, so we never had anything to connect over.

But like. I was a child. It was her responsibility to take interest in the things I cared about. Where was she when I was playing Power Rangers with my friends and getting into roller blading and learning that I loved writing and analyzing and dissecting media.

Where is she now when my family is struggling and all she has to say is, "I don't give handouts. But I do have this nepo-job for you if you're interested. Don't worry, it's because of your qualifications, I promise."

My mom has always wanted to love me. But only on her terms.

[neomujinjja]

Hi, Hello, my name is what you want it

Pairing: Non idol! Sunwoo x reader

Length: 1,298 words Genre: Spy au, slight angst

Warnings: not edited, betrayal, sunwoo's a liar, i try to reference to Maverick, long-ish

Synopsis: On a mission, you discover a secret about your boyfriend while trying to gain intel.

Note: I might write a second part of this cause I have an idea but we'll see. Also this took so long cause of course I didn't remember my original plot line (because I thought of it during work) 😐

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

"Agent B, the target is at the left-side end of the bar" the voice on your earcom informed you. Your mission was to gather information from the tenants at the charity event. It was believed that someone here was behind the latest events. You walked over to the bar, standing next a male dressed in all black. Despite his back turned to you, you couldn't help but feel that you recognized him. You order a Mojito as you decided to keep an eye on him just in case. You turned to scope out the crowd and area; it had already been done by the team but you felt reassured upon a double check.

"Not mingling out there?" a male's voice asked you. You first noticed the smirk formed on his thick lips before analyzing the rest of his face. His eyes also showed a recognition of who you were as you made the connection.

"Sunwoo, what are you doing here?" you whispered to him, being careful to not have your conversation heard by others.

"I could be asking you the same thing, Y/N" he responded with a low volume. Sunwoo was your boyfriend of 3 years, but the odd thing was he worked in a delivery company.

"I told you I worked for a private investigative company, Sun. The real question is what a delivery man is doing at a high-class charity event?" you countered back as you raised your eyebrow at him. While you never told Sunwoo the entire truth, you hadn't kept your field a secret from him. Shaking your head, you walked away from the male. Right now, you couldn't afford to be distracted, and being around Sunwoo: who lied to you for 3 years was bound to.

-

"How's that new mansion treating you? If I recall correctly you were mentioning that it was fairly isolated" you asked Natalia, she and her husband had recently purchased a new house.

"Oh yes, we haven't gotten it fully furnished yet but it is so peaceful. You know, it's nice to get away" she told you and the rest of the group with a light laugh. "Are you interested in the area, Derby?" Natalia asked you after a moment of the others agreeing.

"Yes, my family is looking for a new winter house. Something that will fit the entire family for the holidays" you said after nodding. "Plus keep the kids busy" you joked and laughed with the group of ladies.

"Sorry Ladies, do you mind if I steal her from you guys?" a voice asked again, a voice that you didn't want to be around right now. The group of ladies giggled at Sunwoo's interjection before they nodded. You could tell by their smiles that the two of you would be their next gossip for at least a week. Sunwoo just smiled and thanked them as they left. He grab your hand, pulling you into a secluded spot.

"What do you want?" You asked him, looking forward at the crowd. You didn't want to face him for multiple reasons. One part because of the mission you were tasked with and one part because you hurt by him.

"To talk."

"And we will, but not here."

"Babe-"

"No" you interrupted him with a stern tone. "I told you, Sun, we‘ll talk later. Just not here and not now" you continued before walking away from him. You headed to the bathroom, taking a deep breath.

"You okay, B?" the person on the ear-com ask you. They must have heard your shaking sniffles or noticed you weren't on the cameras anymore.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I just had a shock and needed a moment. I'm heading back in now" you told them as you pat your face. You joined the crowd of the charity once again, talking to those you'd gotten closer to during the mission.

"Derby!" You turned at the sound of your undercover name. You were met with Fernando, someone that your group had found highly suspicious.

"Fernando~ Hi" you responded to him with a smile. "How have you been?" you asked him as he walked closer to you.

"It's been good, though I'm ready to go hunting" he responded with his own smile. You laughed along.

"You said, you hunt in Canada right?"

"That's right. I go throughout the fall and winter. You should join some time, I think you'd enjoy it."

"I'll have to think about it" you laughed before taking a sip of your drink.

-

You walked into the apartment tired from working. The lights are still off you noticed as you take off your shoes. You turned on the lights and moved to sit on the couch, waiting for Sunwoo to come home.

Upon the door opening, you looked over at it. Watching as your boyfriend walked inside of your shared apartment. "Can we talk now?" he asked as he took off his shoes. Sunwoo walked over to the living room and sat on the chair next to the couch.

"Yeah. So explain to me why my boyfriend who works in the delivery field was at a high-end charity event" you said, turning your body to face the male. Now that some time had passed, your hurt had turned into masked anger.

"Look, I get that you hurt by all of this. And I should have said something way earlier, especially after you told me" he started by saying. "I work as a spy for an organization. I was there gathering information, probably for the same reason as you" Sunwoo continued and you watched him through it all. "I didn't think I was going to get as close to you as I was. So I just used my cover job when we met, but that was the only thing I lied about" the man further explained.

"So you told me your real name but not your job. I told you that I work for investigation company and you still decided to lie. How were you sure I wasn't going to look into you?" you pointed out to him. His reasonings didn't make sense to you, it felt like there were holes within it.

"Even if you investigated, it was covered. Our hacker made sure I was in the system, and I do work there but not in the way most would think. I don't know either, I can't say why I told you my actual name" Sunwoo replied. "Did you?" he asked as he tilted his head to the side.

"Did I what?"

"Investigate me?"

"No". That was the truth, you hadn't looked into Sunwoo. You had trusted that he wasn't someone with bad intentions so you believed his words. It was apart of the reason that you hadn't lied to him, instead just keeping some of the truth hidden. Sunwoo nodded his head in silence. The two of you didn't say anything more after that. The air was tense and awkward as the two of you sat there, avoiding each other's eyes. "I need some time to think. We can talk later but I don't want to be around you at the moment" you told him as you stood up from the couch. "I'm going to stay at a friend's place" you continued before moving to the bedroom. You packed up your items for a week, hoping that would be enough until you talked to Sunwoo next. Sunwoo stayed on the couch, not trying to stop you instead watching you from his spot. You appreciate that he was listening to your words and giving you the space that you wanted.

"I never meant for it to turn out this way" Sunwoo says as you stand at the door, putting on your shoes.

"I know".

[mauesartetc]

I've seen it stated in a comment on reddit that Blitzo "deserved what happened to him at Ozzie’s. He forced himself on M&M’s date and then went out of his way to draw attention to himself KNOWING fizz was there. The entire event was a result of his own actions. Hell, Stolas treated it as an actual date and at least tried to make an effort to be sweet."

They also said:

""I’d like an acknowledgment of Blitz being the one who was in the wrong and admitting it himself. Stolas may be an out of touch rich aristocrat yes, but Blitz was neglecting him and taking advantage from the start. Stolas arguably had no reason to suspect that objectifying blitz was a problem considering he never seemed bothered by it until Ozzy’s. I’d like to think the hospital scene is what is starting the process of Stolas finally realizing blitz can’t be helped until he helps up himself and deals with his issues."

And I'm like: wtf? Are you seriously making Stolas into the injured party despite all the cr*p he has done? Hes the one who has apologizing to do; for objectifying and fetishizing Blitzo all while looking down on imps.

The last part stinks of not wanting white/privileged people to take accountability for microaggressions based on the excuse of them being "innocent".

Sorry, I know this is wildly beside the point, but:

cr*p

Dude, this is Tumblr, not TikTok. You don't have to censor yourself here. You don't have to make every word you write commercially viable. It's okay. Be free, little bird! Spew expletives left and right if you feel so moved!

I want everyone to feel free to speak their minds on this blog, and if that includes a few naughty words, so be it. Besides, I'm pretty sure no one's getting in trouble at work for reading a post that contained the word "crap".

Anyway, to the more pressing issue at hand: It's important to recognize at all times that these are fictional characters, not real people. They are puppets whose actions are dictated by writers. Yes, giving characters the illusion of agency when writing stories is a great way to engage your audience, but when analyzing stories, you have to focus on why the people who wrote them made the choices they did. Debating which character was in the wrong, or which character was more wrong, or which one should apologize, yadda yadda yadda, is a futile fucking exercise if you don't include the writers' intent in that conversation.

Let's look at Blitzo. He pretty objectively caused most of what went down at Ozzie's. He followed Moxxie and Millie, he invited Stolas, he drew attention to himself when he knew people who hated him were present. Now that last one seems pretty stupid, like the kind of mistake no one of sound mind in the real world would ever reasonably make. We could spend all day speculating what about his personality would lead him to do this, whether it's zero sense of self-preservation, a subconscious desire for self-sabotage, or simple inability to keep his damn mouth shut, but here's the thing: Other Helluva Boss characters have the same problem. To reiterate what I said here:

"Why did Octavia fully forgive her dad, no questions asked, even when he couldn't explain why he cheated on her mom? If Loona hates being around Blitzo so much, why didn't she just stay with the succubi on the beach? [...] Why did Moxxie make a huge romantic gesture in an environment where such gestures are frowned upon? [...] Why did Stolas bring an imp to a couples-only club despite knowing it'd ruin his reputation?"

The answer to all these questions is "because the plot demanded it." The writers wanted a certain outcome and wrote themselves into a corner before they could reach it organically. Instead of putting themselves into the characters' shoes or retracing their steps to make the endpoint feel like a logical conclusion, they just said "fuck it" and brute-forced the easiest solution, causing the result to make no goddamn sense.

Given the level this writing is on, it feels kinda pointless to argue with internet strangers over which character was in the right and which one wasn't. Subsequent episodes haven't addressed the events of "Ozzie's" (at least not in a way that means anything), leading me to believe the writers never cared enough about them to spark any sort of in-depth conversation. So why should we?

Honestly, this person just sounds like a Stolas simp. It's kind of a leap to assume they don't want real people of a certain race and class to bear responsibility for their actions. It's not that deep. None of this is that deep.

[theambitiouswoman]

Hi! 👋 Do you have any tips on how to not blow up on people when you're mad? I had a partner I did that to and he ended up leaving me cause of it and it seems like no matter what I try I'm doing the wrong thing. I know I wasn't fair to him so I'm deciding to get better for myself and my future boyfriend so that I don't repeat the same steps.

Hi sweetheart,

Learning how to manage and control anger can be a very valuable skill in life. It's commendable that you recognize the impact this had on your previous partner and that you're motivated to change for the better. This is the first step to change.

When feeling anger, taking a pause is crucial. By stepping back and taking a moment to breathe, excusing yourself from the conversation, counting, or remove yourself from the situation temporarily, you can prevent impulsive reactions and allow yourself the opportunity to regain control of the situation.

When something angers me, instead of reacting, I remove myself from the situation. I know that I will not be able to think logically, and as a result have a positive outcome in the situation. I come back when I am ready to communicate the issue at hand. And that is okay. You were angry. And those feelings are valid. But we need to take the time to understand those emotions, where they are coming from and why it bothers us so much, versus lashing out. We need to analyze the situation for what it is, what it means. And what we really want to do about it.

This pause gives you time to reflect on the underlying reasons for your anger and understand your triggers better. Resume the conversation when you feel logical and level headed. Especially with partners, unless they did something wrong- it's you and your partner against the problem. Not each other.

Pay close attention to your own emotions, thoughts, and physical sensations when you feel anger building up. By being able to recognize a pattern, you can intervene before it escalates and choose a more constructive response.

Effective communication is key. Instead of blowing up on others, practice assertive communication. Express your feelings and concerns using "I" statements, focusing on the specific behavior or issue that is bothering you. Do not be afraid to express how YOU feel. Attacking someone else when we are upset, typically drives us to insult them. This escalates the situation at hand. This approach allows you to communicate your emotions without attacking the person, fostering healthier dialogue and preventing further escalation.

Furthermore, it's important to actively listen to others. Try to understand the other person's perspective, thoughts, and feelings. This demonstrates respect and can defuse tension, paving the way for a more constructive conversation.

Developing healthy coping mechanisms is crucial for managing anger. Engage in hobbies that help you release and manage your emotions in a productive way, such as exercise, mindfulness techniques, journaling, or pursuing hobbies that bring you joy and relaxation.

Learning how to manage your emotions is a very powerful tool in any dynamic in life. You control your emotions, not the other way around. You do not win an argument by acting irrational or out of character. Even if you were right, the lack of emotional control changes the narrative.

Hope this helped <3

[inkofamethyst]

September 20, 2024

It's not at all that I'm annoyed or frustrated with my advisor. I absolutely trust his judgement over mine right now. I am frustrated with myself. It's like.. I'm really, really trying to prove myself. I want to be good at science, and I think I'm improving, but every time I try to.. demonstrate, like, brilliance or something (and maybe "brilliance" is too egotistical of a word for what I'm trying to say, perhaps "engagement" or even like "ability to analyze, synthesize, and propose scientific thought"), I come out of the conversation having failed entirely. And that failure feels humiliating.

A big part of it is that I feel like the road my PhD is currently on is laid out for me in a way that literally just follows what my postdoc has done for the past few years. I mean, in all fairness, she's done amazing work! I think the methods I plan to use will be excellent for answering relevant questions robustly. I look forward to following in her footsteps, actually. It's just that, like, it feels like cheating? It feels like being given a cheat code, but in a bad way (and like, look, I know that science is iterative and builds on itself and is meant to be replicated, but full replication isn't actually encouraged by scientific culture, regardless of what scientists try to tell themselves). And while it may make my program progression more straightforward, I will always feel like I will exist in the shadow of the person who did this first. And it's honestly not even that I want fame or recognition or whatever. It's literally that I want to be seen as a scientist in my own right. That's all!! That's where the frustrations stem from!!

And if I dig deeper, I'll likely find that it really just stems from insecurity (or course). I feel uncertain, I feel like people are observing me to see if I will fail or fly, if I'm all that my recommenders made me out to be. Part of me recognizes that it's incredibly self-centered and that, ultimately, most people do not care. But I can't seem to help it! I can't seem to help but compare myself to members of my cohort who seem particularly On It as second years ("second" years.. some were research assistants in their labs before starting grad school tbf).

So I try to thoroughly digest primary literature. I make note of all the various methods so I can try to be informed, so I can propose study systems and keep up when others are talking.. but I just can't seem to crack experimental design.

It's also tough when the most recent lab graduate and the next up lab graduate seem brilliant. And when the graduate before them seems brilliant. I just feel devastatingly normal and even a bit out of place because of it.

Also, I spent a number of weeks testing and writing out various ideas for this fellowship I want to apply for and I wasn't sure if any of them were good enough ("good" standing in for several factors), but I'm going to just end up proposing the first thing I wrote: a copy of my postdoc's work but just applied to a different study system, "my" system. So it also feels a little like a waste of time and effort when I could've been basically through a whole draft or two by now instead of trying to be creative, trying to prove that I have what it takes to maybe be brilliant, if not today then one day.

hhhhh at this point I don't even want comfort. I just want to get over myself.

And oreos. I also want to eat just enough oreos that I feel better but not so many that my stomach protests. But I need to eat real food first.

Today I'm thankful that I for some reason decided to look at the microscope schedule to discover that I had fifteen minutes left booked, not an hour and fifteen, as I'd thought. Also thankful that I was able to export my images in just ten minutes (on the flip side, that may be a sign that the images suck ugh). At least my day didn't get worse.

Thankful for my island-friend who is always down for a chat, even one where I just moped the whole time. Thankful for the discord chat's newly-formed Fart Crew ("fiber art crew" bc I threw out a bad idea to get the brainstorm going and everyone rallied behind it (much to my dismay)) and the chat we had a few days ago. I like my friends here but I also miss those guys so much.

[edit: my angst could very well be related to hunger.. need to fuel better]

[tianshiisdead]

Hi! I'm going to be writing a loong final message for an ex friend under the readmore, it's very angry and upset and literally just talking about petty personal problems lol so please ignore it. To that ex friend, I know you know who you are and you will probably see this if you have someone tracking my blog, maybe you'll read this, maybe you won't. Either way, it's off my chest and somewhere you can see it. Don't worry, I don't use any names. Warnings for suicide mentions, suibaiting, the works.

Wow! The more I think about you the more I feel like a fucking idiot. I've mulled over this for ages, looked at all of our old chats, wrestled with tears and wondered what I could have done better. Here's my final speech, since you probably didn't read the one I sent last time we spoke.

What I did wrong: didn't set the hardest boundaries, only slightly pushed back when you triggered me and didn't call you out when you clearly triggered me on purpose for not giving you the response you wanted, brushed off your slur-calling and crudeness.

I apologize for that, I stand by the fact that I think I made my issues with your behavior clear since months ago, I honestly didn't mince my words that much, telling you when you hurt or scared me, asking you to be better, and jesus you know I'm not bsing because you always admitted fault and said you wanted to improve, you just never did. But I could have been harsher, meaner, obviously I should have been because you never took anything I said to heart in the long term.

Other than that, how dare you? How dare you think it was okay, whether I pushed back or not, to mock my family's experience with colonialism, and cultural genocide, the colonial violence that produced me, because I wasn't responding to you on voice call? Do you think it's okay to needle and mock things I've been vulnerable with you about and admitted to being sensitive about, just because I didn't call you out every time afterward? Some of the vile things you've said to me shouldn't even have crossed your MIND. How dare you think it was okay to threaten to kill yourself because I was asleep and didn't respond within a couple of hours? How dare you steamroll my boundaries for months after I told you I had a history of life-threatening disorders and weaponize it against me when I lightly disagreed with you on a political topic? How dare you talk behind my back? Do you think me telling you 'you're not a bad person but your actions hurt people' was me not setting boundaries? Do you think you were the only one with issues? I won't pretend you didn't comfort us at times and hype us up, you weren't a cartoon villain, but the amount of times you spoke over us when we were speaking but would RAGE if we didn't respond to you instantly?

How dare you. I destroyed my health to support yours, not because I was up for the task but because you made me feel like, flat-out stated that you would hurt yourself if I didn't and it would be my fault. And to be fair, other times I did reach out myself BECAUSE I CARED ABOUT YOU. And this is how you discard me? I know you feel guilty lol, you always spoke about feeling guilty after hurting us month after month and you'd give a half-assed apology, talk about being on whatever arc, and then continue doing what you always did. You could analyze your own behavior and recognize all of your shittalking behind people's backs was due to your own complexes, yet always stopped short of actually reflecting in a way that brought change. Our last conversation was pathetic. If you genuinely thought you were in the right, I would honestly respect that more. But I know you're guilty, you just refuse to confront that guilt. You refuse to take responsibility and fully deal with how you acted. You always want to blame it on something, you always need to make it about people hating you or being unlovable and evil or whatever unavoidable tragedy, get over yourself, you acted in a shitty way and now it's confronting you, it's not deep or tragic, it's just a shitty human thing you did.

And you know what, I've also been in a place where I've hurt a friend because of a similar mental illness, constantly needy and feeling like she hated me, constantly leaving our chats and spiraling and speaking to her about things she hated but she never told me she hated because she wanted me to be able to talk to her. And at one point she confronted me and told me how she felt, like I and our mutual friend told you. And I'm sorry but I felt bad too, I was also resentful, I wondered why she had never told me and wondered why she didn't set boundaries harder, and I also sat down and reflected and apologized properly. I knew and she knew my actions weren't completely my own, but I still hurt her and overstepped, and from the bottom of my heart I didn't want to lose a friend who I loved. So I apologized properly, not because I didn't want to feel guilty or because I wanted to move on with my life. I apologized because I hurt her, someone I cared about. I suppose that's too much for you to do.

Fuck you and I hope you go to therapy. I know you see me, and our mutual friends as a bad chapter you can discard, that you'll just move on without ever confronting the things you've done to us, some of them worse than what you've done to me, but you were my friend and I cared about you and gave my health and time to you because I wanted to see you happy and thriving. Sometimes I see the unfinished things I was going to draw for you and make with you and cry, and I know you don't have the heart to feel that way for me.

Final note. You told me a few conversations before our final one that you wanted to move on, make better friends that suited you better, make things better for yourself. And that's fine, but also kind of heartless. I don't regret our friendship, though I regret how you hurt us. I cared about you, and I gave you my time because I cared about you. I regret that when it got too much and I told you, over and over and over again through the months, you acknowledged what was wrong and then brushed it off and never changed. I regret that you see us as a bad chapter, guilt you have to get rid of, and not as individuals who cared about you, who you ultimately hurt and discarded. You really are on your grindset lol, always improving yourself, discarding the ones who don't improve you. Life isn't just about improving and grindset, other people have feelings too that aren't just there to build your character arc. We all fuck up and hurt people dude, and sometimes we have to just own up to it.

[nozoomie]

Moth·er

The word was foreign to you. Not literally – it was plain Nohrian after all. Nor was it from a lack of comprehension, although perhaps one of understanding. You knew what it meant, could recognize it on a page, but something about it prevented it from passing your lips with the same practiced ease of any other word Leo taught you.

It always felt off, its syllables sitting uncomfortably on your tongue. No one would outright say as much, but you imagined it had something to do with having never known one. Even Elise was more experienced than you in that regard, as brief as it may have been. 

In the past you made attempts to learn. Days poring over family trees and records, asking Gunter or the maids about the previous Queen and concubines. Most of your research was dedicated to studying their portraits. In them you could find traces of your siblings. Xander, in Queen Katerina’s regal bearing. Camilla, in Lady Ione’s eyes. Leo and Elise, in Lady Odile’s smile.

You cannot find a likeness that bears a resemblance to the woman in your mirror, try though as you might.

Had she passed away before the royal portraitist could capture her image? Maybe she had committed some grave offense to the crown and had her records burned? A magical curse that erased all traces of her memory? Or perhaps she had simply thought to escape and preserve her own life, rather than get involved in the war for succession.

You ask Xander and Camilla, pester your maids, nag at Gunter. Your theories are only ever met with placating smiles and claims of ignorance. You’re not sure if receiving an answer would satisfy you.

Years pass and you never find out.

At some point you stop asking. There’s no sense in chasing a ghost you never knew. She isn’t here anymore.

But your siblings are. Nohr is.

So you dam up your curiosity and put all of your focus into training and studying to be a princess who can serve your country. Xander instructs you on how to handle a sword, how to read a battlefield and analyze her opponents. Camilla teaches you the etiquette expected of Nohrian royalty and how to ride a wyvern. From Leo you learn tactics and politics, and Elise is a daily reminder on how to talk like a normal person and how to find joy in a place as bleak as the northern fortress.

Your efforts pay off as King Garon, your father, sends word that you’re finally ready to be of service to Nohr, that you can leave and join the rest of your siblings. Your family rejoices and laughs and smothers you in a warm embrace.

This is enough.

(right?)

It takes all of one day for your life to be upended completely.

Nearly a decade of training and all you have to show for it is the ire of your father, an unprovoked attack on the Hoshidan border, a friend lost to the abyss, and soon to be the first Nohrian princess to be publicly executed on foreign soil.

Your captor assures you that won’t be the case but you fail to see how, considering the circumstances of your being there.

You wonder how your siblings are doing. If they’re worried about you. If they’re coming for you.

You hope they aren’t. You already had the border skirmish on your conscience, you didn’t need a full blown war as well. A bit morbidly, you wonder how executions are handled in Hoshido. You ask your handler as much, although she doesn’t respond, save for a snort. She merely leads you to an odd looking carriage and rolls open the front, gesturing for you to get in. You obey without much fuss and get comfortable.

Quietly, in the back of your mind, a voice asks if at the end you’ll finally meet her. You wonder if you’ll have much to talk about.

The journey elapses in relative silence. Rinkah, your escort – not a captor or handler, she insisted – isn’t much for conversation, and you are resolved to confront your end with the dignity of a Nohrian royal. You feel the carriage come to a stop, followed by Rinkah knocking against the wood to signal your arrival. This is it. You take a moment to compose yourself, taking a deep breath.

When the screen is rolled up and the light of day hits your eyes, you recoil and scream in pain.

Hoshido is bright, you've discovered. Brighter than anything you’ve seen in your life. A cloth is thrown over your head that blots out the light, and you hear Rinkah mutter something under her breath as you are pulled from the carriage, and guided up a flight of stairs and through what sounds to be a large set of doors. As your feet touch carpet, you hear the doors close behind you and a series of screens – windows? – slide closed.

Hesitantly, you pull the fabric off your head, and you slowly and gently open your eyes. Even indoors and with the windows covered, Hoshido is too bright for someone raised in the dark. You register a gasp and your heart sinks. You were brought before someone? So much for preserving your royal dignity. You sigh and wait for your eyes to adjust to the light. You blink a few more times for good measure before you feel comfortable and drift your gaze up to see this person’s face to find –

The woman from your mirror staring at you. She is older and more weary, but you see your eyes, and your beauty mark, and your hair, and a hope and longing in her eyes you know oh so well, and you feel a weight that you did not know you were carrying fade away, and you feel the dam in your heart breaking down. Your mouth begins to move on its own,

and as easy as

breathing two syllables pass

through your lips. (母)

[jula483]

Any way you’d be willing to summarize Rhett and Link’s convo from todays ear biscuits for us?? People keep saying they feel sad for Link and he’s my comfort person so I’m so nervous to listen to it and feel sad 😭😭

oh gosh, I don't know if I'm the best person to ask that, but I'm gonna try! So yeah, spoilers ahead!

the whole conversation started because of an awkward and embarrassing (for link) interaction he had with a person working at a ski lift on his spring break.

Rhett (and Jenna) tried to explain to Link what made this interaction awkward and how he could respond to it differently. And that moved to them analyzing together how Link behaves when he interacts with other people and especially strangers in some social situations.

He got a little bit defensive but he was very open to listen to the feedback. The thing Rhett pointed out is that when Link meets new people, he wants to make the interaction interesting and fun but usually just for his own entertainment and in some cases either Rhett and Christy have to come into the conversation and pick up what Link left or monitor situation or de-escalate it.

Overall Link was fine with the feedback and he said it's interesting conversation to have especially on Ear Biscuits and it's good content.

Also. They said that it's not about us taking sides, who's right and who's wrong because they are on the same side (!).

And sure Link wanting to get loose and interact with people might be fun but he recognizes it impact people that are with him and people he interacts with. And Rhett's message is not for Link to be less Link or less fun but I guess to be more considerate and have some filter.

And at the very end Link got emotional saying to Rhett: "I want me and you to be able to do stuff and have a good time." (without Rhett feeling like he needs to be nervous or protective when they enter a social interaction with other people together) 😭