#but also would kind of be like... why are you even doing this specific voluntary writing event?

[myfootyrthroat]

I know someone who entered a Lego competition. 2nd and 3rd place were original designs and the person who got first literally just submitted an assembled Lego kit.

That seems relevant to some AI discourse. In a lot of ways, submitting the kit kind of misses the entire purpose of the event. And that kind of thing happens even without any AI involved.

[pistatsia]

All or Nothing: Noel Noa (ft. Jinpachi Ego)

(note that this analysis contains heavy spoilers for Noa's motives in my Big little dramas fic)

What I really like about Noa is that his character, with his questionable coaching decisions and personality... Actually very evidently grows from his backstory.

We only know a few things for sure about Noa's background before Blue Lock: he grew up in the slums of Paris, where he invested all of himself to get out of that hole, he's ex-boyfriend rival of Jinpachi Ego, with whom they diverge in their ideologies and approaches to the striker's game, and he's the idol of little (and adult) Isagi Yoichi due to the fact that he plays rough and focuses on his success rather than his teammates.

On top of that, we also know that Noa was probably forced into Blue Lock. Most likely, the club management put him in front of the fact that you was specifically requested by your ex rival, so go and shine with your face on a TV show. Oh, and bring along our resident bouquet of personality disorders, code-named kainess. Noa certainly doesn't want to show off for the camera like Lavinho or Chris, doesn't want to raise the next generation of players to avoid his mistakes like Snuffy, and certainly isn't looking for friends/good play/rivals like Loki (who only came to the top 5 to evaluate the level of Blue Lock players according to his own words). Even if he'd wanted to see the sprouts of Ego's theory I doubt that he will apply for the participating in Blue Lock voluntary.

Because Noa doesn't really care. This whole mess is just out of his field of interest. Outside of the games we only see him sitting in his room staring endlessly at screens and drinking coffee.

But it's from this that we see that Noa, despite his very... die-or-die method of building a game on the field, is a responsible player and coach. He may not want to mess around with kids in front of the world, but if he took the job, he'll do it. But he will do it exactly the way he demands of himself - no more, no less. Noa is neither cruel nor kind - he doesn't go beyond what his contract asks of him and his principles.

Slightly off-topic, I'd say that's the exact difference between Noa and Ego. No one would accuse Noa of conscious cruelty: he acts within his system, which he has explained to the children in advance, and if they fail it is only their fault for failing to adjust to it. He is simply doing his job - nothing more, nothing less.

Ego, in his turn? He chooses to be cruel even in the system he have built himself. Not because it somehow motivates the children, but because he can. And in doing so, Ego doesn't hate them - he probably doesn't care about any of them. He hates in them a part of the player he once was - the player who lost either to Noel Noa or the entire football world. If not to the both at once.

But even so, it seems odd for the manga to highlight their rivalry. It's not that only very few people have different ways of dealing with children. A lot of people are losing ugly to each other.

But this work with kids is the main root of their rivalry. Because the basics of their motto, their starting point of football, the way they guide children to the game are diametrically opposed.

Because the key point of Ego theory is that the striker is created by a moment of chaos. A moment that cannot be directed - that can only be pushed towards.

Except that for Noa a player hoping for a miracle and not knowing something is nothing. He will never allow that in his team - his whole game, his team and his life is one big formula with coefficients chosen once, like a neural network.

Both of them live as a part of the all-or-nothing game. Except that while Ego plays this game with emotion and involvement, Noa approaches it as logically as possible.

And only Isagi Yoichi can resolve this decades-long conflict.

Now let's go back to Noa's game, to understand why logic is that important to Noa and the player's emotions are insignificant and even get in the way.

Remember exactly how he plays on the pitch. He never comes out to play first like other master strikers. He chooses the midfield position to support the player of his choice - he doesn't steal their shine in the center of attack. He only scores a goal once too, in the first match - the rest of the time he blocks other master strikers in an effort to ensure the kids can play fair.

And that's probably why he openly mocks both Lavinho and Chris with his dry jokes about narcissists and "kids without the proper adult". But he's especially harsh on Snuffy, angrily mocking him for being bitten by "his own dog", bringing back the "don't make my job harder than it needs to be" line. But why does Snuffy deserve this treatment (not taking into account the way Snuffy himself ridicules Noa)?

Because Noa is disgusted with his approach to teaching.

In fact, it's their approaches in the Blue Lock cut that are most opposed, and yet turned on to the max. While Snuffy has gone so far as to give each player an individual program and plan in his strategies, Noa has let things slide, making his stratum a mini version of the Hunger Games. Noa is angry that Snuffy babysits his kids; he's angry at how involved he is in their lives, how Snuffy swirls around them, and how Snuffy is always there to help and support them.

Because Noa is a "give a hungry man a fish and he'll eat for a day, teach him to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime" kind of guy. Except that he won't even teach them voluntarily. Players need to get the right advice from him themselves while framing the question correctly. 

Noa's policy is non-interference.

Because he knows from experience that it's the only way kids grow up strong. From his own experience.

And to fully dive in, let's remember another moment from the manga that characterizes Noa the most. His advice to Isagi.

"Dedicate every hour, moment, second of your life to a goal. Don't think irrationally. Get your thoughts in order. I don't pick irrational people for the team. Dedicate your whole self to the goal."

Pretty cool, huh? Blossoms with potential burnout, a life on automatic, and a complete loss of feeling.

You know what I'm getting at? That's exactly the lifestyle Noa lives with. And he doesn't see anything wrong with advising Isagi to do it. He doesn't get annoyed by people's taunts about him being a machine and incapable of feeling. That's probably what he wanted.

Because Noa himself grew up completely dedicated to a goal, switching off all his feelings and without mentorship, and it made him who he is now. And it's rational for him to follow the same path with his kids.

Because feelings are illogical. They're weird, they're scary, they're very hard to predict. They're exhausting, they make you turn back to the past and wait for the future with hopes that may not be fulfilled later. They take your strength, they hurt and they wound very sharply. They make you weak, they make you vulnerable - they make you a helpless child.

Living without them is so much easier.

(If you remember my analysis on Isagi, you can see how similar he and Noa are.)

In psychology this mode is called "detached protector". Its essence is that the child or adult turns off all their feelings to avoid punishment and focus on survival. 

They switch off all emotions. They cut off all emotional ties with loved ones, family and friends, seeing them more as objects. They can only work endlessly.

They function like a robot.

This mode is triggered when a person cuts off all their emotional needs, like an automaton focusing on one single goal.

In Noa's case? His survival. And that's exactly what Ego is talking about - that young Noa, obviously emotionally deprived, put all of himself into football because he had nothing else but it. 

And judging by Noa today, having cut off those needs as a child, he doesn't see the point in experiencing them again. Noa doesn't smile, he doesn't get upset or frustrated. He doesn't get angry or regretful. Of course, mentally stable people can express their emotions weakly too - and even on a level like Noa.

But we're in a football manga. Football is all about emotion.

And the fact that Noa doesn't visually show the joy or at least the satisfaction of a goal or a victory - of the life that little Noa once strived so hard to live, investing all of himself - is just awful.

Of course, Noa has feelings, just like any other person. After all, he is a living being. Except they're either quite faint (because strong emotions = danger and weakness), or he crushes them as soon as he feels them coming on.

Noa's whole life is an endless race to stay where he is.

Because Noa has learned to survive. Of course, he did.

But Noa didn't learn how to live.

[blueepink07]

I decided to look at the calendars and the timetable in Muu's MVs and I think I found some interesting things!

Taking in chronological order, the first calendar should be this one, which has the cherry blossoms. In Japan, usually, the flowering cherry trees come into full bloom around the beginning of April. It is the month when the new year of school starts for students.

So it seems that the friend group started the bullying, since the beginning of the school year, Rei's clothes being wet and her items being splattered on the floor. (the calendar in this scene also shows the cherry blossoms)

Remember this is the moment when Rei decides to turn "upside down" Muu's reputation at school, when she considers that enough is enough.

So then it raises the question... How much time Muu was bullied at school?

Well to find out we have again to look at the calendar.

This one should be a month from autumn, more exactly early September.

To understand better my line of thoughts, I will explain how did I reached this conclusion!

Beginning with the timetable!

Considering that the murder takes place during sunset, I thought that it was important to find when Muu finishes her classes.

"In a typical high school in Japan, teachers gather each morning at 8:30 a.m. for a brief meeting. Students meet at 8:35 a.m. for a 5-minute homeroom period. Regular classes begin at 8:45 a.m. and there are four 50-minute classes before lunch. High school students eat in their homeroom. "

With this information, I figured out that the empty space between hours is for lunch, because there are already four classes before it.

"Two afternoon periods are followed by school clean-up and a 5-minute homeroom meeting, after which students are dismissed at 3:30 p.m."

Muu has, after lunch, one or two afternoon periods.

Also, interesting she also has four classes on Saturday, something that is pretty common in Japan. "On Saturday the day ends after four periods, at 1 p.m."

Getting back to the topic, the classes usually end at 3:30 pm or 4 pm most of the time. However, it's pretty clear that it's not the hour when Rei goes home and the murder happens. Not only the sunset will not start so early, but also Muu's phone gives us a hint of the time.

But why are they at such a late hour at school, if the classes should end at around 3:30 pm? Simple, club activities after classes, at which most students in Japan attend to!

"Club activities are held after school and run until 5 or 6 p.m. One hour per week is devoted to mandatory club activity. Other club activity is voluntary."

They last around 2 hours, so, if we take into consideration Muu's timetable, the clubs should end at around 5:30 - 6 pm. (might depend on the club)

Now, I want to point out this specific interrogation question:

"What kind of kid where you?"

The past tense it's very interesting to me: "I did many extracurricular activities". Yes, it might refer to her younger self, but, considering that, even in high school, clubs are heavily encouraged in Japan, it's rather odd that she doesn't say that she still attends them.

That's because, in reality, she probably stopped going to those once she started to be bullied, which explains why she is the only one in the classroom, waiting for the club activities to be finished, so she can go home.

"School club activities, commonly known as “bukatsu” in Japan, play a significant role in the lives of students. These extracurricular activities are an integral part of the Japanese school experience, providing a platform for personal growth, skill development, and fostering a sense of community."

Club activities are a good way to spend your time with your friends, while doing something that you like. Because Muu started to be bullied, she had no reason to attend to these anymore. Not only she would spend her time alone, but also risk being picked on again, preferring to stay in the classroom.

With the idea that the clubs from Muu's school should end around 5:30 pm, we can decide the month based on when the sun fully sets.

I will admit that it took me a while to notice the yellow dots, which should resemble the leaves, so, because of the warm colours, I thought that the calendar showed July. Not August, because, in most schools in Japan, there is a summer vacation which starts from July 20 to August 31.

However, considering that Muu lives in Minato Ward, Tokyo, as seen in this post, the sun should fully set at around 7 pm, during July. Which doesn't really makes sense, because Rei should be outside of school, after club activities and some time spent preparing her herself to go, at around 5:40 - 5:45 pm, when there is not a sunset.

What made me, at first, not consider autumn as an option, where the green leaves from this scenery. So I researched a little and found put that in Tokyo, the leaves don't start to fall until late November.

Which left me with two options: September and October.

October was easily out of the question, because, in the first day of October the sun fully sets at 5:26 pm, which is too early.

Which leaves us with September, when the sun sets at around 6 pm. Taking into account the minutes before Muu reaches Rei in that day, I think it's safe to assume that early September, should be the time when the murder took place.

I hope I gave a good explanation and found some interesting things about Muu! Thank you for reading!

Sources if anyone is interested!

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 58 – The Lathe of Heaven by Ursula K. Le Guin

I originally put a hold on this at the library back in the spring, so by the time I actually got my hands on it I’d entirely forgotten why I’d asked for it specifically. Still, in general I’d been meaning to read more Le Guin (and more classic sci fi/stuff written in previous generations, generally), so it isn’t too mysterious. It’s definitely a meaty read as far as cultural artifacts go, but I must admit that as a reading experience it left me a bit cold.

The story takes place in the distant and futuristic year of 2003, in a Portland that’s rather worse for the wear – overpopulation, widespread and crippling malnutrition even in American cities, a war in the Middle East threatening to spiral out into nuclear Armageddon, climate change has led to mass resettlement away from the coasts, and also its always raining. Into this comes Gregory Orr, a man whose dreams can retroactively change reality. Horrified by this, he almost overdoses on stimulants to avoid sleep – and is basically given court-ordered ‘voluntary’ therapy. Dr. William Haber, after taking a bit to believe him, starts using the magic of hynpotherapy and also Orr being kind of a pushover to trigger, manipulate, and direct his magic dreams and start trying to retroactively fix the world. Because it turns out hypnosis-induced dreams have a lot in common with asshole genies, side effects include a pandemic killing the majority of humanity, an alien invasion, everyone having identically coloured grey skin, and eventually the execution of anyone discovered to have a inheritable medical condition for eugenics reasons. Eventually Haber believes he’s discovered a way to induce the same dreams in himself, and when he tries just kind of breaks reality and himself at the seams. Before he does, he finally cures Orr of the dreams, and amid the ruins he gets a girlfriend (who had in other versions of reality been his lawyer and then dead and then his girlfriend) and settles down to a good life working with his hands.

The overall feel of the book is, like, Seeing Like A State as Twilight Zone episode. There’s a distaste for capital-P Progress – for top-down utopias, technocratic utilitarianism, psychiatry and eugenics and public health initiatives, tolerance through the erasure of differences, bureaucratic work, lives without strife and struggle, and just generally measuring the marigolds – that absolutely pervades the work. It is good and virtuous, the book seems to (or outright does) say, to help people you know and directly around you, and in the face of an apocalypse you do whatever you can. But otherwise, in the course of normal life, thinking you can really improve the world is the height of hubris, and thinking you have any duty to is just disguised megomania – anti-overpopulation efforts lead naturally to democidal plagues, trying to cure cancer to brutal eugenics regimes. The good life is a grounded one, where you have a job where you work with your hands and do something constructive, and don’t mess around with dangerous dreams – the only alternative is playing a cruel god over the masses.

The aesthetic and political revulsion towards 20th century modernism is of a piece with what else I’ve read of Le Guin, but the sort of conservative, struggle-idolizing quietism it puts forward as the positive alternative kind of took me by surprise.

Speaking of overpopulation – as an artifact of anxieties about the future and science, the book is just fascinating. Written in 1970, it really does take it as almost a given that in thirty years overpopulation would be an acute crisis. The numbers actually aren’t far off – a global population of 7 billion is mentioned – but this is taken to mean a world where childhood malnutrition is a fact of life for the average American in the Pacific Northwest, and there’s so much demand for grain-as-foodstuff that a psychiatrist can’t afford brandy. Hypnosis is also treated with a level of seriousness and gravitas that these days its only shown in self-conscious pulp and fetish porn. On the other hand, the fact that a book written in 1970 is talking about ‘the greenhouse effect’ and how climate change is going to cause ruinous natural disasters is, well, deeply depressing.

Completely tangential from everything else – so the only female character in the book is Heather Lelache, a lawyer Orr goes to for help and then a couple reality iterations later starts falling in love with. Or properly speaking after he accidentally dreams her out of existing in the process of abolishing racism, he dreams her back and it’s functionally an entirely different and much meeker and milder person (like, she gets POV chapters, the change in internal monologue is striking) and also goes from ‘lawyer’ to ‘legal secretary’, and he continues falling in love with and marries her. This is never really called out or commented upon but it did strike me enough that I wanted to bring it up as interesting.

Anyway, don’t regret reading this, but probably the Le Guin I’ve gotten the least out of, overall.

[kmze]

Thoughts on 6x01 - 6x11 THE BEST! Full disclosure this is my favorite season and rewatching it I remembered why because the show is just flowing like it rarely did the past few seasons and it's because the show went back to simple mythology and character moments. The prison world is new but not outlandish and the show takes it time explaining it so you get it. Tripp and his vampire hunter crew is something done a lot before but the twist of using the anti-magic border was a fresh take. The Gemini coven is great too because we were gradually introduced to the characters and the mythology so it's easy to follow. Everything just clicks! Bamon and Steroline are both awesome dynamics getting tons of focus and I don't even hate DE! The season definitely moves slower than ones in the past but IMO that is a good thing. There's so much care given to character moments and I really enjoyed a lot of the dialogue for everyone, to me this is TVD at it's peak, it worked for the same reasons S2 did. All my gushing below!

6x01

That guy was like “I have seen what they do to black characters on this show absolutely not you go check” lol.

Liv is the best, forever mad she died she would have loved her niece Lizzie. LivTyler (yes I know it’s commonly referred to as Parkwood but I do what I want) was such a cute ship they were like early Forwood if Caroline was cynical.

Elena being a drug addict to see Damon was a choice…

Caroline gets intense reactions out of Stefan too as seen here. Sorry not sorry but if you can’t see him breaking his phone from gripping it just by seeing her name didn’t mean she affected him the most I can’t help you. He could take Ric and Elena’s call because he knew he could fool them, but Caroline he can’t, not even over the phone.

Oh suddenly Elena hates being a vampire again RME. Gee I wonder if this is for plot reasons since they knew Nina was leaving (or at least knew it was a possibility) and they wanted her to end her story human.

Bamoncakes!

6x02

Um I’m pretty sure it is Matt’s house since his name is on the deed if we want to get specific here Jeremy.

Stefan has zero tact with Ivy LMFAO like why are you in my house unless we’re having sex. Truly such a jerk.

The Bamon 1994 Prison World plot was SUCH A GOOD IDEA! Rewatching you definitely feel how repetitive stuff gets and it felt like the world building became too extreme but this was so different. They went a simpler way to do a mystery plot and I actually think it helped the show have one of its best seasons ever (personally my favorite). Also the fact that they put two characters together who always had an air of animosity between them but also kind of an understanding and let that chemistry do its thang! It’s just so good!

Someone should tell Damon and Bonnie you’re not supposed to look directly at the sun during a solar eclipse.

The awkward dinner party is cracking me up! Between Enzo going out of his way to make Stefan uncomfortable and the passive aggressiveness between Stefan and Caroline, to Ivy’s complete confusion I don’t know what makes me laugh more.

You tell him Carebear!

That damn necklace lol it just keeps coming back! I’m not as annoyed about them saying Elena fell in love with Damon in 3x01 like I used to be anymore. I think because I don’t really and truly don't care about the triangle AT ALL (and I don't have to knowing the ending)! Elena is so wishy washy it makes sense, like yep she loved them both at the same time.

6x03

I know this is unpopular but I genuinely love when Stefan is just a dick LMFAO! So much of Stefan in the earlier seasons was like romantic compassionate facade, but like deep down he’s kind of a jerk! And he loves having vampire powers as you can see here, he's just a weirdo masochist and wouldn't allow himself to use them as punishment for giving up on Damon.

Oh they baited SE big time with that scene in the hallway!

I do enjoy watching Stefan and Caroline become more and more uncomfortable about Elena’s voluntary brain damage. "It's important that we let Elena live her new, happy, problem ignoring, zombie life the way she wants" LMFAO

Caroline I love you to death but sorry girl, lying is not a new thing for Stefan! Being a liar is completely on brand for him.

CRYING at Tyler walking away as soon as he saw Caroline was ready to fight Elena. He was like nope I know that condescending judgmental tone very well, deuces!

HIYA KAI! FINALLY a good villain again!

Did Liam just insinuate that Elena’s type is red flags because CTFU! Liam you were great I’m glad you survived.

The scene where Bonnie gets her magic back to save Damon from Kai is so (!!!!) what a moment!

I love how Stefan just spills his guts to Caroline about all his bullshit coping methods as soon as she corners him. Yeah he walks away (and I know antis love using it in their gifsets) but the whole scene you see how hard it is for him to look her in the eye. Also definitely felt some jealousy from Elena watching it all unfold, which girl take a seat!

6x04

Why is Kai eating jelly with his hand!?!

I’m sorry but Stefan had the WEIRDEST SYSTEMS EVER!! Two on full display here with his constant desire to push his animal diet on others who aren’t bloodoholics, and getting health insurance (???) to start over. Stefan being like you can be anyone you want because this lunatic just loves pretending to be a different person every few decades. He’s just so insane, I become more and more aware of it as the show goes on.

The fake Stelena proposal is so hilarious I love how they keep upping each other in soap opera drama.

*heavy sigh* I'm not sure if they cast Monique before they cast Gail so they had to cast a black woman since Monique is biracial and we know Zach was white but it's like again AGAIN the black woman dies a painful death.

Bonnie and Kai have really good chemistry I’M JUST SAYING!

Damon murdering a pregnant woman was definitely the worst thing he ever did. I do love the shots in this scene with Bonnie eating pancakes look at Damon telling him there’s hope for him. The writers are really feeling this story.

Kinda feel like Stefan only agreed to show Elena his “moving on system” because she had brain damage and he figured he could trick her. Almost got away with it too!

6x05

Man the little look between Stefan and Caroline when he’s like “you’ll never have to deal with me again” “is that what you think I want” gets me every-time! Such a subtle moment.

HA! Alaric’s story throwing shade at Elena was funny!

Caroline how did you fall for that!

CTFU at Damon yelling “BONNIE” after she murders Kai and taps her on the shoulder. Like dammit what did you do but also it’s okay please don’t hurt me.

You go Caroline invoking the D-word to get Stefan to pull his head out of his ass. Love when she says "who are you right now?!" you done fucked up Stefan! This meta explains it well.

Liv killing that guy to save Tyler from triggering his werewolf curse was a great scene.

Elena amazed at modern medicine is so hilarious WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER! You mean people can be healed without vampire blood? This is brand new information!

And look at that! Stefan finally admitted he’s not handling anything well after he made Caroline give up on him.

6x06

The Dalaric scene is funny, I enjoyed that.

Jo and Elena’s friendship was cute. Really wish Jo had lived she was such a nice addition to the show. Just a great character all around.

Stripping a vampire of their magic with the border makes a hell of a lot more sense than the cure ever did!

I’m over everyone apologizing to Elena because she chose to compel away her memories of Damon. Play stupid games win stupid prizes!

I love how Stefan jolts out of his seat when he sees Caroline! Kinda like when he got down on one knee to propose before she even turned around lol. The shot of Stefan dejected and lowering his head in front of the lamp store is gorgeous.

6x07

Caroline is so excited to get to be anti-Delena again! Like finally Elena is on her side!

The way Caroline says “good bye” trying to close the door on Stefan cracks me up. He even tried using his old tricks of “I’m here to protect” you and Caro told him to kick rocks! What's wrong Stefan never had to actually work for forgiveness before huh?

Great job so far this season mixing up the “special events contrived to get a bunch of characters together” formula. They’ve used new locations and since they can’t enter MF it’s not all the characters in one spot so feels less contrived.

If Stefan didn’t have feelings for Caroline’s he had every opportunity to STFU after she told him to. But he didn’t he kept pushing.

The Bonkai scenes are straight from a horror movie and I have to say bravo they are so unsettling to watch.

Enzo does have a flair for the dramatic surprise death.

Caroline's speech is my favorite speech ever on this show because I just love how vulnerable yet strong she is in her opinion, which is so rare for women on this show. I have no time for the criticism of it either and how it's "regression" kindly eat a dick. This is a HUGE moment for Caroline because she's saying I don't care about being THE ONE, I've been the one (with Tyler) and now I want THE ONE for me. Caroline being in love with Stefan more than any of her other love interests has nothing to do with him putting her first or him being the one who treats her the best it's about the fact that she wants him because he makes her feel THE MOST! And that's what her list was about, she says yeah I thought you were worth having a thing for how could I not?! Because during her darkest time he told her she’d get through it and protect her and he did, and it’s why should couldn’t imagine Elena would let someone like him go. And while she's so confident in her feelings she's also not going to sit there and not get the respect that she deserves. Caroline is very aware of Stefan's bullshit (they are best friends) and he needs to earn back her trust if he wants it, but she's fine either way. And you notice that when Stefan uses manipulation to see her (asking her Mom for help, saying he's there to protect her) she give him shit, but when he's honest with her (that he pushed her away the most) she starts to thaw. I mean this is SUCH a drastic change from S3 when he terrorized Elena for half a season and then got sad over her kissing Damon and she just like got over it. Fuck around and find out Stefan! Love Caroline’s styling here, it’s the same colors she wore in 6x03 but now she’s more covered up, because she’s put a wall up to protect herself (just like the song lyrics). WHAT A MOMENT!

Damon and Elena don’t even bother me this season. They’re just kinda there but they don’t interfere with stuff I like and Damon isn’t the worst person in the world.

Damon finding Ms Cuddles!! So many great scenes this season.

6x08

The flashbacks to Kai murdering his family is another instance of fantastic horror aesthetic used this season, feels like I'm watching a slasher film

Bonnie’s poor wig!

Caroline’s styling has been absolutely amazing so far! Her hair is always gorgeously curled and I really like her eye makeup.

Stefan’s face when he finds out Damon was invited to Friendsgiving and he wasn’t ASCSGGXHVFJFJK!

Damon’s pure joy at mocking Stefan for not realizing Caroline had feelings for him is such good brotherly teasing. And Stefan keeps getting more and more bitter, I don’t get how people can’t tell he’s all sensitive because he’s afraid he lost Caroline forever. He kicked a fucking teddy bear people!

OMG THEY TOTALLY FORGOT A MUNDANE WAS IN THE ROOM!

This LivTyler scene is so cute it reminds me of the S2 Forwood scene, I definitely think it was meant as a parallel. I know people always think that’s a bad thing and they’re ripping off scenes but I’ve come to see it as more of an homage in certain circumstances, this would be one of them.

The way things are shot this season is so nice, more than any other season I feel like I’m getting scene after scene with moody lighting, great music and closeups. The leftovers scene is like this, the lighting is great and there’s that one nice scenery shot of them standing in the hallway. There’s a lot of care put into the scene like Stefan keeps moving closer and looking her in the eyes when he tells Caroline he pushed her away the most, which is the opposite of earlier when he kept moving away and not looking at her. The moment where he opens his mouth in awe and become speechless is great too really sells that epiphany moment of oh yeah I do have feelings for her.

6x09

Serious question are Damon and Stefan homeless right now? I have not seen them in an actual apartment

I mean you kind of did complain when he ruined it Damon but I approve of you constantly giving him shit about it.

I do not think Tyler would oppose saving Bonnie like he did to protect Liv. Especially because Liv wanted to do it she wasn’t doing it via duress.

YES Elena tried to make it about herself and Damon was like, don’t care let’s go save Bonnie.

I love the sassy way Stefan opens the diner door.

Enzo has killed two women of color this season for truly NO REASON besides being mad at Stefan and I'm just like... this is really the best we could do for Bonnie's true love?

Why don’t they met Bonnie halfway?!

I really hate that they made Bonnie stay stuck in the prison world until friggin episode 15. She should have gotten out now her friends should have actually saved her for once.

6x10

Stefan with the Christmas light LMFAO like a puppy!

Matt keeps saying Enzo’s gonna be dead and listen show stop threatening me with a good time if you won’t deliver it!

We might have been able to know if vampire blood could cure cancer if someone didn’t BURN ALL THEIR DAD’S RESEARCH on it for no fucking reason!

The snowglobe! Love how this became one of their "things" because both of them ended up being people who no matter where they went Mystic Falls was home and they always found their way back there. They always find their way back "home" (each other).

I hate sad Christmas Bonnie but the shot of her at the Christmas tree in 1994 intersped with Jeremy at the Christmas tree in the present is very nicely shot and sweet.

I think JP made a point to fix DE this season after Dries dragged them through the filth last season. The fact that Damon walked away from Elena and didn’t lash out felt specifically like they were righting that from last season. This is probably my favorite Damon season and while I’m 100% in the Bamon camp (and I’d argue Bonnie is the one who actually got through to him on changing) he is being very sweet with Elena and I swear I’m not being condescending.

6x11

OMG that is some next level foreshadowing with Damon saying he let Ric turn his house into Hogwarts!

Finally Elena using her vampire powers to defend herself!

I really love that Luke keeps taking Liv away from Damon & Co. because he is not here for her being their new go-to witch for all their problems. Stand your ground Luke!

Of course Caroline conducts her experiment on a black guy since he’s going to die a painful death.

The Delena scene where she jokes with him about dying (like her weirdo ex lol) is really funny and cute but it’s also so beautifully shot! Paul did a really great job with this episode but that scene in particular was just really stunning.

PORCH SCENE FINALLY ITS BEEN SO LONG

I cannot with the way Stefan takes Caroline’s hand and she gasps and looks at him like he’s a fucking Disney Prince! She’s so so so in love with him!

Lines that made me laugh

Damon: Sorry I killed Bonnie. But she was the most annoying person in the world. She wouldn't shut up. She just kept talking. (so funny but even Bonnie knows that's not true you luff her!)

Kai: 555-HIYA-KAI No way I'm giving those digits up (LMFAO I agree Kai as someone old enough to remember pagers)

Matt: I’m sorry I was confused about which vampires we like and which ones we don’t ASXSDGXDHGCB (HE'S GOT A POINT!)

[chaoscouncilcreaturecorner]

Hello! I’ve never heard of Factkins before. Do you mind explains what they are?

(If not that’s okay too, thank you!)

I doubt we will be doing many answers like this in the future, however I will explain it this time around since we have the spoons to do so.

So, if we are going off of Alterhumans, Therians, Conceptkins and other different kins there are the umbrella terms and the more specific ones.

An Example would be Alterhumans & Otherkins, which can be used as umbrella terms, and Therians, Conceptkins, and Fictionkins, which all mean a specific kind of "kin".

Therians usually refer to those who identify on a nonphysical level as an animal that once lived, existed, or still lives, exists on Earth. An example would be a wolf or a tiger. [There are Therians who also identify on a physical level, we just usually encounter those who do so on a nonphysical level. This can be applied to all kins and I am pretty sure most alterhuman terms on some level at least.]

Conceptkins refer to being a kin of a specific concept, for example, an aesthetic or even the feeling and concept of love. Things that are usually unable to be touched, you just feel them, imagine them, sense them. There are also some concepts which on some level can be interacted with, for an example glitchkins [Computer glitches for ex.]

Fictionkins could in one way or another be similar to Fictives, however, Singlets can also be Fictionkins. These people identify on usually a non-physical level as a Fictional character.

Factkins are similar in some degree to Fictionkins however instead of identifying on a non physical level as a fictional character, you do so with a once living or still living human. Whether they are a popular person or really nothing is known about them and only basically their family remembers them.

As to why Factkins are often misunderstood is because a lot of people think of that as identify theft. However if you think about it another way, a lot of Alterhumans, and Kins in general believe in reincarnation, multiple worlds and universes [Both fictional and alternative versions of our reality]. If that is true and fictional worlds also exist, but so do similar ones to ours, and if reincarnation or some form of it exists then that can easily explain why factkins exist as well. At some point in time, if you look at it in a spiritual way there is a high chance they actually went through such a life. After all if fictional worlds exist, and so do ones similar to ours, then why wouldn't those lives be any less real?

However obviously, there are some issues with those who actually claim they are those people still. But most don't.

A few other things to note here are that being a kin is often associated with being neurodivergent or with someone's mental health, but that's not always the case. Many people, including myself look at it in a spiritual way, which I explained a bit more about earlier in this text.

These experiences can be involuntary or voluntary [Ex. Coping link use identifying as something other than a human as a coping mechanism, its something you chose to do, but either way its still valid and real], however, the ones who are kins don't generally believe they can shift forms or that they are still the same being or person they once were. It's true, that some people and alterhumans struggle with mental health and there may be some exceptions to this, but those cases are usually related to psychosis and other mental health disorders. These are still valid, however.

I did hear about some people saying they identify on the physical level as well, however I am not that familiar with that form of being an alterhuman, but it's still valid.

There is also a carrd with a few more info regarding factkins from a more neutral viewpoint in this carrd: 📻

[consterions]

Noh Shinwoo and Im Hantae Appreciation Post

Please let me rambling about how I love my two fictional gay boys.

First off, Noh Shinwoo

I often has hots for enemies-to-lovers kinda story, so at the very start, I have already rooting for Shinwoo and Taekyung. And Shinwoo being the tsundere characters is adding good points for him.

But I, too, love Shin Daon. I love kind hearted men. I love smiley and comforting character.

But what makes me sold for Shinwoo is how he treated Taekyung slowly over time. Like, he's actually really caring! Though I kind of forget of the details, I remember how Shinwoo intended to bring bandages to Taekyung when unfortunately, Daon was already there and treated Taekyung's wound and it hurt my little heart.

The one that sealed it, though is when Taekyung was heartbroken by Daon when he was thinking that him and Daon could have "something" but Daon backed out. I remember Shinwoo that told a story of younger him about a crush he had for a boy, how he eventually realized that he shouldn't tell a soul about this little fleeting crush and buried it. He told the story to Taekyung so that he understood why Daon acted a certain way, give him an additional perspective, that Daon had a reason and not just being mean to Taekyung. Shinwoo had known Daon for longer than Taekyung, so Shinwoo must have a better understanding of why Daon possibly did what he did. Well, not only that, Shinwoo also stated how he sided with Taekyung cause he also thought that what Daon was doing hurt Taekyung a lot.

I don't know if it was really significant for other people, but it is really significant to me. I didn't only see the tsundere side of Shinwoo, but his gentle and kind self, how he cared about Taekyung, how he could give more perspective for Taekyung who has long be a "voluntary loner."

Also his confession? The whole "Yesterday, today, and maybe even tomorrow, I will always thinking of you." It's like the perfect confession for Taekyung, who while pursuing Daon never being thought of since Daon (at that time) thought of his surrounding more than his feeling for Taekyung. And that even after that, Shinwoo still trying to support Taekyung to chase after Daon (even though eventually he asked Taekyung to finally look at him).

And now, Im Hantae.

Oh, Im Hantae.

First of all, he's really the bubbly, confident character that immediately stole my heart! It didn't feel to pushy too, so I enjoy his character a lot. Adding some (probably) innocense and THAT'S IT.

What I like a lot about Im Hantae specifically is how he always desired to help Han Baram. It's so cute when he literally made a contract where he would take care and promised a debut to Han Baram. And it was not long after they met each other, may I add. He's just... so kind and passionate. And he kept his promise until Baram really debuted! He continued to be by his side, even when Baram told Hantae to go away. Yes, Hantae went, but he came back not long after.

Also, I love how he reacted to Baram confessing differed a lot from Jin Sangin, how he didn't singlehandedly just go away and rejected Baram in the most obvious way. Unlike Sangin who after that told Baram that he was going away and the timing was just that bad (although I doubt so), Hantae was more like "OK I'm shocked but let me process everything first" but didn't say it. He still ran after Baram and make sure. He still stayed by Baram's side, even when he was attacked by Bluewin's fans. He still offered support. It may be a little bit heavy on Baram's side since Hantae didn't tell him anything about his confession, probably feeling like Hantae was keeping his hopes up for nothing, but Hantae was genuine, and still kept his promise at the start: to take care of Baram until he debuted.

Hantae and Baram's relationship is something I want to have, really. I specifically want an Im Hantae in my life.

Bonus my favourite scene in Light on Me and Sing My Crush

(I particularly love this scene from Sing My Crush since damn... I don't know... the tension, the love??? It takes my soul out off my body)

[captain-astors]

1, 2 for Seidou and 12 for the asks?

Once again obligatory apology for talking about Nimu it will happen again. 1. You know that bit in the gourmet arc where Ami mentions Souta was suspicious on account of never eating any human food? He kind of got dealt all the bad cards when it comes to his mixed species nature because he can't process human meat or human food very effectively, but the prior at least doesn't taste garbage and his morals are too nonexistent and detached to have that factor in by much. It was an active decision, he just doesn't eat human food with the exception of very specific kinds when he can help it. 2. Seidou pushes it off with snide comments ("I don't like men that way" and etc.) but he's genuinely super uncomfortable with any physical touch post-Kanou and if you tried to hug him and actually managed to do it without getting sliced to pieces, he would cry and not in a good "I missed this" way. He's never been a very physical person when it comes to affection but for obvious reasons that made it a million times worse. I don't think there's actual a single living person he'd allow to touch him anymore unless his sister is still alive, then it's a maybe. Possibly Amon or Akira with time but we'll never know! Thanks Ishida. 12. Kind of an extension of my 1, there are some weird byproducts of turning a half-human into a half-ghoul. Particularly in this case because the Furuta branch are not primarily rinkakus, so it's a little bit like injecting a person with a whole bunch of incompatible blood but slower and weirder. From the moment of the operation until his death, his limited existent RC system was essentially at war with Rize's (and losing) as it tore new pathways through the useless ones Nimura's had already. Funnily that actually strengthened the existing one, so it couldn't just be mercifully wiped out and functioned essentially as a human being turned into a ghoul, and the new one was too similar to his old one to always tell the difference, so it defaulted to Attack Everything but also Heal Everything including his organs and etc. This had the upsides of a much faster transformation into a Kakuja state and highly advanced pathway without dismemberment (hence why he can reattach a limb just about as easily as Seidou, someone who underwent months of repeated butchering despite not having the time to do that to himself, though Kanou and the Washuu nonsense also helped with this.) because his body is constantly tearing itself to shreds and healing just as fast anyways. However, the costs included but were not limited to: an even shorter anticipated lifespan, incredibly agony as the opposing system brutally rips his own apart in instances of usage, and limited voluntary shape manipulation (Only how it looks, he's got no issue striking extremely specific places) which is why it ends up just appearing a bit like a mass of eyes, kagune and teeth and doesn't repeat the same form twice. That's also why his Kakuja looks more like a Bikaku than a Rinkaku.

[cavefilllingcorporation]

A General Report of the Nono people: Part 1 (Page 4), festival edition

...Thanks to this, we know that the purpose of the Fall festival was twofold. First, to collect mushrooms to stock up for the winter. However, the second and main focus of the festival was to tell stories, with the goal of creating memorable ones, specifically ones that people would remember for later. They were forbidden from sharing other’s stories, only their own, though there was a trial regarding a theoretical breaching of this rite which proves that referring other people to hear other’s stories was allowed. After all, you are merely helping that person’s story, not supporting your own. Finally, at the end of the festival, a couple of days were allowed to pass, before the tribe cast a vote. Specifically, who’s story was the funniest. This was a solemn affair though, as the weight of who was elected high. While not directly confirmed, all evidence points to the winner becoming the elected executioner. This is collaborated with the fact that this festival, in contrast to the others, was strictly voluntary, while the others had the entire tribe participating. Many also chose not to participate, and those who didn’t were only allowed a partial vote. No rules existed on whether people were allowed to vote for themselves, and we have no idea if people abused this or not, or even if it was considered abuse. Why people chose to have this in the first place has to do with their “caste” system, which will be explained later, but for the context of this role, people usually could not switch occupations, and were set on them for life. It is theorized that the executioner position had a lot of benefits that others did not have, and maybe was a chance for someone to do something differently in their lives. Finally, children were strictly forbidden from speaking during the festival, mostly likely because the tribes believed that children couldn’t control their joy if speaking to people, and nobody wanted a situation where a child was forced to be an executioner. We have no evidence that such a tragedy took place, but we are sure that if it did, it would have been a one-of-a-kind and a horrifying incident to the Nono people.

Finally, was the winter festival, which seemed to be all about growth. Winter was not about death, it was the time after death, to reflect on your life, before moving onto the next one. Whether they believed in reincarnation or not is up for debate, but another theory suggests that they believe nature dies and is reborn every year, and they have to partake in this as well. To do this, they construct snow and ice sculptures of themselves, each of them a beautiful work of art, intricately detailed with fine precision. We know this because some retired sculptors took it upon themselves to create stone statues of similar kinds. This was probably taboo in their culture, as they were found in caves and other hidden places, and many were found to be smashed. Unlike the other festivals, which were centered on a single day, the festival took place at least over the course of at least a month and a half. In fact, we believe that there was no real start or stop time, starting when the snow first came, and finishing when the sculptures were complete and the rituals regarding them were finished. For context, the area in and around Mobletropolis, where the Nono people lived, is a very cold region. When snow falls, it usually does not melt until the arrival of Spring. Snow sculptures can exist throughout all of winter. This also explains why the Nono people loved Summer and the heat it brought with it. The sculptures were not just there for show though. They were representations of each person, not just physically, but metaphysically. Their loves, their hates, their hopes, their fears, their strengths, and most importantly, their shortcomings and flaws. It was the latter that the Nono tribe focused on, reflecting on it. Then they would write themselves letters, detailing to themselves if they had fixed a list of flaws in themselves that they had written, or at the very least improved upon them. Then they would seal them up, give them to some higher official, either the chief or some elder with a role of keeping the letters safe, secure, and private (it would not have been a sole responsibility though, merely something in addition to another job), and then wait. At the start of the Winter festival, they would open their letters, reflect on if they accomplished their goals, and then create the statues based on those reflections. While not everybody in the village was a talented ice mason, as there were people who specialized in this, everybody was expected to not only assist in their own statue, but also in the statue of their peers. Eventually, as spring came, the statues would melt away, a final death as new life would be brought forth.

Unfortunately, the discovery of these four festivals was the easiest parts of the Nono people’s culture to explore, as they were extensively documented. The rest of their culture wasn’t as documented, or at the very least has as much surviving documentation. It is estimated that it is three times as hard to discover their other works in comparison. Still, we are striving to do so, and this is the tip of the iceberg of what we have found. In two more reports, we will share what we have learned about their private and public lives, including the new reports on their roadways. We hope to see you then!

[christian-perspectives]

A Pleasing Aroma To The Lord

My wife occasionally lights a scented candle to fill the house with a refreshing and pleasing fragrance. The Bible also talks about a different kind of aroma that's pleasing to the Lord. Give these instructions to the people of Israel: The offerings you present as special gifts are a pleasing aroma to me; they are my food. Numbers 28:2 Years ago, a man attending our church would rather give to a project than help with it. His typical comment went like this: "I don't have the time. How much money do you need?" Sometimes, those projects needed more manpower than money. What I am getting around to is, for some it's easier to give an offering than to give their time. And in today's world, with bill-pay, you don't even have to show up. Let's compare how we give offerings with the offerings God required in the Old Testament. Those offerings alone took work. God wanted animal offerings. Therefore, raising the sheep they offered to the Lord didn't give off a very pleasing aroma. Plus, God expected these offerings given at specified times. See to it that they are brought at the appointed times and offered according to my instructions. Numbers 28:2 Let's look at those two things: the appointed times and God's instructions. In my calculations, the Lord expected the sacrifice of about 1246 animals for the entire year.

Sacrifices Required by the Lord

- He wanted sacrifices each Sabbath day and the first day of each month. - He also wanted them at the Lord's Passover, the Festival of Harvest, and the Festival of Trumpets. - In addition, He expected offerings for the Day of Atonement and the Festival of Shelters. After the priest killed each animal, he drained the blood and offered it to the Lord. Then he burned some of its parts or the whole animal on the altar. The Lord considered the smoke from the burning sacrifice a pleasing aroma as it rose into the sky. God said these offerings would continue even after entering the promised land. The Lord said, "When you finally settle in the land I am giving you, you will offer special gifts as a pleasing aroma to the Lord. These gifts may take the form of a burnt offering, a sacrifice to fulfill a vow, a voluntary offering. Or an offering at any of your annual festivals. They may be taken from your herds of cattle or your flocks of sheep and goats. Numbers 15:2-3 The Psalmist wrote about a time when he fulfilled the sacred vows he made to the Lord. These were vows he made when he faced deep trouble. That is why I am sacrificing burnt offerings to you Lord—the best of my rams as a pleasing aroma. And a sacrifice of bulls and male goats. Psalm 66:15 Did you notice what type of offering the Psalmist brought to the Lord? He said, the best of his rams. Each animal had to be in a certain age range and healthy with no defects.

What Do We Offer to the Lord?

How often does that happen in the church? I'm not talking about a healthy animal. I'm talking about people giving their best to God. I've had people buy new furniture and want to give their old, worn-out furniture to the church. But then the Bible doesn't say anything about a couch of a certain age and without defects. Of course, I'm being facetious. God gave Moses specific instructions as to the age and quality of their sacrifices. The Lord only accepted them, and they gave Him an aroma pleasing. Present to the Lord as your daily burnt offering. You must offer two one-year-old male lambs with no defects. The regular burnt offering instituted at Mount Sinai as a special gift, a pleasing aroma to the Lord. Numbers 28:3,6 I'm not thrilled with its smell or smoke if I burn a burger or other meat on the grill. Why would the scent rising from the burning flesh of an animal be a pleasing aroma to the Lord? The animals sacrificed in the Old Testament couldn't cleanse anyone's sins. God continually required them because the shedding of their blood served only as a reminder of their sins. But instead, those sacrifices actually reminded them of their sins year after year. For it is not possible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins. Hebrews 10:3-4 It's God's will for us to be holy, and that couldn't happen with the sacrifices of the old covenant. Jesus, however, became the acceptable sacrifice for us. Christ was offered once for all time as a sacrifice to take away the sins of many people. He will come again, not to deal with our sins, but to bring salvation to all who are eagerly waiting for him. Hebrews 9:28

Jesus Became a Pleasing Aroma to the Lord

When Jesus hung on the cross before He died, He uttered three very important words. "It Is Finished," The Apostle Paul told us how it pleased God in heaven. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to the Lord. Ephesians 5:2 Can we offer an aroma of sacrifice pleasing to the Lord? I don't know about a pleasing aroma, but we can offer the Lord a continual sacrifice of praise. Therefore, let us offer through Jesus a continual sacrifice of praise to God, proclaiming our allegiance to his name. Hebrews 13:15 We have talked about the sacrifices in the Old Testament, the sacrifice of Jesus, and our sacrifice of praise. The Lord also considers one other sacrifice as one with a pleasing aroma. YOU! And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Romans 12:1 Lord, thank you for Jesus offering himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to you. And Lord, receive us as a living sacrifice so that we, too, become a pleasing aroma to you. Check out these related posts of the perfect sacrifice - Jesus Is The Ultimate Sacrifice For All Eternity - Jesus' Resurrection, The Most Important Event Of Christianity - Jesus Fulfilled The Law Of The Old Testament - Jesus Became The Ultimate Sacrifice For The World Read the full article

[homenecromancer]

a combination of light mean-girlism + oversharing

here’s a screenshot of a post i saw the other day

there are a bunch of posts like this, or in this sort of vein, and there is nothing wrong with any of them. this is a fine and okay opinion to have and i left OP’s URL out of this bc of that.

but well this is my blog and im gonna give my opinion / hyperspecific point of view

1. i’ve spent more time with / words on the character than the original author ever did — am i way AU from canon in some ways? naturally. i am playing with paper dolls for fun and sometimes i share the results. the point is in the personal joy of play; choosing which parts of canon i respect is a way of setting the rules of the game, and going far afield from canon into really wild AUs is simply a change of rules

2. i am, though functional in daily life, completely bonkers. like, you’re just gonna have to trust me: there is stuff about this that’s relevant to my mental health in weird ways i don’t really wish to elaborate on. i have a very idiosyncratic relationship to my favorite characters, and i am too fucking old to pay attention to anyone hitting me with the “he would not fucking say that”. reading my posts is voluntary, and if you come to this circus (my blog) anyway you are going to see clowns (weird posts about blorbo)

i mean i also know damn well that all these posts are not actually vagueing about the specific sort of weird stuff i do (because it’s not like i even really talk about the weird parts)

when people say this they really mean something like, “hey i don’t get why people would write a Marvel AU where: no one is superheroes, and; two people can be psychically linked in such a way where one is super-psychic and the other guy has to help calm him down — what the fuck this is just weird original fiction with specific names”. and to that i have to answer: like i mentioned earlier, fandom can be a game, and sometimes the game is about how far you can go, how much you can stretch, from canon before suspension of disbelief snaps; these are just a different set of “rules” from what a given person’s preferences may be. i don’t care for readerfic, and other people don’t have to enjoy weird AUs, but each of those kinds of fan content aren’t as disorderly as posts like this often assume — they are each governed by actual rulesets. it’s just nobody writes them down.

also that specific example of an AU is a Sentinel AU (with a dash of the much-more-common Mundane AU). btw.

[fj-is-a-dumbass]

angry rant incoming, because i agree with all of this and it's FUCKED. UP. and i have my own story to add to this

(also if anyone uses anything other than they/them for me because they ASSUME, i will fucking find you and i promise you will regret it)

in my town (in australia, just fyi, and i dont live in one of the capitals), i've found (through research and word of associated personnel) that 99% of gynaes are also whatcha callit... fukin preggers doctors, obstetricitians. so, of course the pregnant people, the people with the (most likely) voluntary condition get prioritised over those of us who are sick and screwed up, and they make us wait months and in some cases YEARS. it makes me so mad, furious, violently angry. get more doctors that are gynae specifically.

dont get me wrong, pregnancy is one of the most dangerous things you can do with your body, and pregnant people deserve and need that urgent/priority care, but for FUCK SAKE. WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF US. UTERUS-HAVERS ARE NOT BABY FACTORIES.

i ended up hospitalised from a side effect of trying to manage whatever bullshit condition i have. i took the oral birth control to manage the physical, mental, and emotional pain and incredible distress of the bullshit that my body does, and it was pure relief, not having to deal with my uterus's bullshit... right up until i got bilateral pulmonary emboli. that's right, you heard me; blood clots, two for the price of once, one for each lung.

(another side effect of ocp is aggression and mood swings. i became so calm and patient and peaceful, every single person around me noticed, just to put it in perspective how much this shit helped)

the gynae the emergency docs referred me to had the nerve to get back to me MONTHS after shit hit the fan. luckily for me, i shopped around and found a gynae that does not deal with pregnant people, and i only had to wait A MONTH (when i was told it would be taken care of 'right away because i was being treated for something else and the treatment caused this')

she had a letter sent, saying that she had given me an appointment. guess. fucking. when.

january next year. (i write this in june 2024, i recieved the letter some time in march or something, i don't recall)

ONE FULL YEAR AFTER SHIT HIT THE FAN. talk about rIgHt AwAy.

i laughed that kind of angry laugh you do because you're about to lose your entire shit at someone-- i mean, what a fucked up world!

'your health is important to us--'

bull-fucking-SHIT bro, i bet that you lot could NOT care less if i, or people like me or worse-off, died while waiting and i would bet my life on it. why? because if you cared, if the system cared, none of us would be waiting this long.

it's fucked up, it really is, and i havent even MENTIONED yet, how my gp (general practitioner, idk how it works in other countries but you see your gp for everything and to get referrals to 'specialists' like gynaecologists), REFUSED TO GIVE ME A REFERRAL TO A GYNAECOLOGIST AT ALL EVEN THOUGH I WAS ASKING.

i have a round-about jumbled way of asking for things coz my brain is a mess and i get a bit nervous, but the request was unmistakable. she did not give. i did not get. (could i have avoided getting bilateral pe? MAYBE.)

i have more beef with that doctor, but that's neither here nor there.

why is it that every single doctor never understands what you, the patient, wants with their own fucking body.

why are the wait lists so long, you assholes.

fuck you all.

(to be clear, i dont blame gynaecologists and obstetricians 100%, but i blame the ones that wear both hats more, and the system even moreso because the system allocates the resources and i am DONE getting screwed in my a by it).

i'll be keeping my appointment with that other gynaecologist, (and she'll find out exactly how angry i am. civilly. somewhat.) but i just...

i have almost no respect for doctors anymore, and i lost the last of my respect after they saved my damn life. riddle me that.

people with uteruses exist, people with uteruses with problems of ANY kind exist and are far more common than allocated resources would imply, and they deserve to be seen and treated without this bullshit waiting time that does nothing but prolong pain, suffering, and risk of permenant injury or death.

stop grouping pregnant people in with the sick people, it does neither group any favours.

wishing everyone in charge of resource allocation, and those that don't listen, a very special

FUCK YOU

no clue what causes pcos. no clue what causes endometriosis. 2 year waiting lists to see a gynecologist. you'd think female bodies only started existing 50 years ago

[dreamsy990]

deltarune but wof

haha i drew deltarune but wings of fire

tbh this is just me wanting to ramble about my dumb mini aus that i come up with but never actually do anything with so uhhh heres some ideas for this/explanations

kris:

i made them a rainwing!!! theres a few reasons but lemme just keep it brief -rainwings are very “othered” and kris being a human really fits that -theyre also very isolated so ofc nobody really would know how to actually raise a rainwing, for example the stuff like how they actually change color by using the sun and shit -they LITERALLY CHANGE COLOR WHEN THEY GO INTO THE DARK WORLD I MEAN COME ON

anyways some hcsss!!!

kris totally would change their scales to blend in with their family and seem more “sandwing” (yep i made the dreemurrs sandwings), specifically to have the same colors as asriel. in the og kris drawing i realized that this wasnt really showing my idea of how they normally would look so i added in a doodle of the whole family!!

i inverted the colors mostly so you could tell the difference plus gave them some pops of green n yellow to help them stand out, but in reality most of the time they just look like a smaller asriel

theyve probably picked up the habit of trying to raise their tail threateningly but that doesnt really work because. its a sandwing thing they dont have venom. OR AT LEAST THE NORMAL KIND- no we are not getting into the whole rainwing venom thing

actually we are

kris probably doesnt know about rainwing venom, since even in deltarune the people there are super uneducated about humans, and in wof everyone is even LESS educated about rainwings (at least if this is set post darkstalker), so nobody really knows. 

they probably camoflauge to prank people. like you just feel someone watching you at 4am and you turn around and boom its kris

theyve probably gotten good at stopping their scales from changing since theyre constantly trying to blend in with their family, so they mostly stay light pink like asriel. after hanging out with susie a bit tho they probably get more confident and try out blue and pink and it looks great i love them. and also extreme emotions can make them change, but its not voluntary and they dont usually notice until someone points it out. 

theyre also probably very dull in color before they really embrace their identity. they like to stick with their family and blend in as much as possible, but rainwings sort of need to sleep outside and take naps often to have bright colors. as soon as kris realizes that others dont take those naps or feel tired a lot they try to stop and so their colors kinda suffer. to other rainwings they might even look a bit sickly.

hanging out with susie probably gives them the confidence boost they need to actually be ‘healthy’ and their colors get a lot brighter and they stop sleeping in class so much because THEYRE ACTUALLY GETTING THE REST THEY NEED WOOO GOOD FOR YOU KRIS GOOD FOR YOU

kris is also probably very uncomfortable with other rainwings because they cant really relate to them at all and it makes them feel somehow both less rainwing AND less sandwing than anything and so they avoid them at all costs.

ive probably thought the most about this so yeahhhhhh dont expect this much for the others

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susie

susie was probably the easiest tribe to decide on besides kris, so heres why -to be honest theres not much reason shes buff -and big -and thats very mudwing of her -also the only way she could be purple outside of fudging the mudwing rules is by making her a rainwing which kris has covered, silkwing which ralsei has, or a really fucking weird skywing which didnt really fit her vibe

hc time!!!

theres actually not much ive thought about with her, but she probably gets a lot of weird looks as the only mudwing in town, which probably also fuels people being scared of her. she looks kinda funky and thats because i dont care about the rules but it also probably doesnt help like mudwings are very brown im just fudging the rules all over the place here she probably likes mud and kris is the only one who also likes it so they just fuckin roll in it sometimes idk wherre this thought came from but its here now i considered giving her no tail/ a very stubby tail because i think its funny but fuck it shes just got a normal tail sorry besties no short tail susie for u

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ralsei

hey guys look its the baby. hes a silkwing -it made it really easy to justify his frankly kinda weird color palette without making him a rainwing. -now that i think about it i proably couldve made him a leafwing -but that seems kinda stupid and i like him being small bug man -silkwings are sort of slightly enslaved in canon which kinda fits his weird “we must serve the lighteners” bullshit

hcs

not much to say here. his design is my third favorite, not to be confused with my first favorite design (kris) or my second favorite design (noelle) or my favorite design idea (berdly).  

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noelle

with noelle i kick canon to the curb because fuck that shit i can make her a hybrid that sounds fun. she’s ice/sand, theres no deep reason here i just wanted to be able to make her brown while also having the ice stuff

hcs

her mom is an icewing and her dad is a sandwing or ice/sand hybrid like her, since she doesnt have much thats actually very sandwing about her other than her coloring. if she was blue and you got rid of the back frills she’d be just a normal icewing.

icewings are very status-orientated so her mom puts a lot of pressure on her to be a good role model even this far away from icewing rankings. carol probably only moved out of the ice kingdom because she wanted rudy to be happy and the ice is super uncomfy for sandwings, so she’s a bit miserable in the town with it being so warm. she probably sleeps in a seperate room, not for like weird marriage reasons but because she wanted to freeze it. she’s probably got some lingering racism, and also, hybrids are VERY looked down on by icewings traditionally, so she puts a ton of pressure on noelle to be the best representation of what they can be.

noelle believes she has to be as “icewing” as possible, and since the only full icewing she knows is carol, she’s the icon of what noelle is supposed to be. so she’s picked up a lot of her moms bad habits. for example, she’s really bad at talking about her own feelings or being emotionally in general, since carol always hides how she feels. she can also tend to make rude comments about other tribes, but she apologizes immediately whenever she catches herself.

dess was very much NOT icewing and her mom sort of hated it. she was brash and loud, probably not very orderly and didnt care too much about rules or status, and picked up firebreath from her dads side (if hes a hybrid too, then it skipped a generation). very not icewing of her. noelle loves the break in order, and so she’s sort of split half and half between who she thinks she has to be and what she thinks she wants to be, and isnt quite sure what she ACTUALLY wants or has to be between all the outside forces

also she blushes purple. red sandwing blood + blue icewing blood = fuck you shes purple now. i think its cute. purple bloosh for a purple girl *insert susie*

actually, the most sandwing thing about noelle is probably that she doesnt mind heat. she actually might just love it as much as the cold. she just hates the middle bits. either freeze her alive or burn her in hell no INBETWEEN DAMNIT

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berdly

berdly berdly berdly. in the end, i kinda like the idea of him better than the final design. hes a nightwing with probably a bit of skywing blood but no (alive) relatives around to confirm that with so he will definetly not admit it -he was going to be a skywing because hes a bird. it seemed fitting -but then i realized that i couldnt make him blue like that -so hes a nightwing with skywing descent -okk the hcs explain the rest of my reasoning better so ill stop now

hcs

berdly probably brags about being able to read minds/see the future a lot because people in hometown dont know enough about nightwings to counter. in reality, berdly isnt a 3 moons dragon. or a 2 moons. or a 1 moon. hes just a normal dragon.

one of his grandparents was a skywing that “brought shame to their family” or something idk. the point is they dont talk about him no no no they dont- ill stop now

berdly is super ashamed of this because his family had to leave because of how that skywing descent ruined his familys reputation in the night kingdom. nightwings are very,,, how do you say it,,,, racist most of the time. like somehow worse than icewings. they kind of hate everyone tbh. 

berdly’s ego probably comes from a lot of the “nightwings are perfect” bullshit he hears. i dont think his parents are very present for him, they just wanted to get out of the night kingdom because of the shame and brought him with them. 

he doesnt really want to lie about having powers, but hes in too deep now. the only ones who know are noelle (he confided in), kris (who saw it while they were lurking because they do that), and susie (who figured it out by threatening him with no actual intent and saw him being scared, and putting 2 and 2 together herself). and his parents but they dont count.

catti is also probably close to figuring it out because she knows a lot more about nightwing powers because of her research into these sorts of things, and the fact that he doesnt have a teardrop scale.

berdly can fly faster than a lot of dragons in the town because of his skywing descent, but he doesnt fly a lot because he wants to hide it as might as possible.

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ok thanks for listening to me ramble about funny dragon books but deltarune

i might draw other stuff for this au who knows its fun

[spoonietimelordy]

Yay Charlie, here we go. For the THATW song ask game, I feel like we haven't gotten to talk much about Battle Cries? So that one, and questions 1, 2, 6, and 8. :)

1. what was your first impression about this song? And as it changed?

I didn't really have any feelings about it, I loved it obviously like all of their songs but it wasn't one of the special ones. And yes it did change a lot but that will be for the next questions ^^

2. How does this song make you feel?

Overwhelmed to be honest.

(Edit: OK so this is what I wrote first and then I Googled some stuff and maybe I'm wrong, you'll see why)

I feel like Joey's voice is a tiny bit too load and cover Madeleine's voice so I have to focus really hard, even with the lyrics, to isolate her voice.

But also I'm kind of angry at Madeleine's character imao. I trully feel like she is the toxic and controlling one in this relationship which make me even more mad that I have to read the lyrics to understand her because she is the emotionally violent one so I feel like she should be the one we hear the most and that we should have to focus to hear Joey. But I guess that it could be voluntary since emotional abuse is often hidden from others, but since we're inside there home it would make more sense to hear her more to me.

I think that it's my biggest hot TAD take so far 😅.

Edit: wait wait wait! I just googled what beating your chest mean and wait O.O– it mean screaming your sadness and hunger at people but in an unsincere way. Was he lying all along to get people's sympathy? Was he trying to pass as the good guy here???? Or what? I'm doubtful suddenly, because it now feel like the lasts lines might be a twist but I'm not sure, or is he sincerely saying that he will not show a fake version of the story and will be honest? help!

6. What stories or characters are connected to this song in your mind?

Complete OCs, like most of their songs tbh.

8. Do you visualize any colors, images, or scenes while listening?

Yes!!! I imagine everything in such a detail way oh my god, I feel like I'm either their neighbours or their kid listening to them fighting, or I could even be the wallpaper. I'm just listening to every details of something that I shouldn't be listening too, they don't know that I know you know? But I can see them in their living room, fighting, screaming, putting their hands on their face and in their hair, pointing to the kitchen when talking about smashing the plates. I can see her trying to grabe onto him, to get him to stay.

All of this in a very specific aesthetic, it's the evening, the golden hour and the sun is making everything yellow with some ray of sunlight sliding through the curtains while the rest is a lot darker, representing their fight and fallen relationship.

[blurrycow]

Ok, but Mad IQs by IDKHOW is SUCH a Five Hargreeves song.

TIME FOR A SONG ANALYSIS, which is what I do best.

Let’s start with looking at the chorus. Come inside Twist the knife Like it's something to do I'm a voluntary victim Watch your colonial tongue I'll watch you tighten the noose I'm burning in your mad IQ

alright. Right off the bat, this song is giving off huge five vibes. Indicator- knives. Come inside, twist the knife like it’s something to do- I’m a voluntary victim. Since I am dumb I had to google what voluntary meant and it means ‘willing’. So, im getting that this sort of means that- in the scenario that this song IS him, the ‘come inside’ would be like he’s got walls, ya know? So he’s letting the person in, and they betray him (‘twist the knife’). ’voluntary victim’ could be his family- he’d willingly kill himself for his family. So he’s voluntarily killing himself by someone else for his family which is SO something he’d do. ’watch your colonial tongue, I’ll watch you tighten the noose’ not sure how this would work as him actually but we must keep in mind that not every lyric in this song was written for our short murder man because it WASNT written for our short murder man 🙄🙄 thanks dallon weekes 🙄🙄🙄 and then of course mad iq would be because he’s a fucking genius, that’s self explanatory.

ANYWAY moving on to the actual first verse because I am stupid and skip around a lot.

Oh, you will never, ever stop me 'Cause I'm never gonna quit Gonna get just what I want And I am gonna get it quick

Lose yourself inside the city Lose your mind inside a week You can lose all of your money You can find enough to sleep

In this world to survive We can live while we're alive Or we can die

oop idk why it did the line thing on the side but I’m still figuring out tumblr so whatever

looking at this first verse is like… yeah. Five Hargreeves. The entire first verse- not counting the second part- kind of sums him up. He’s not gonna stop, he’s not gonna quit. He’s gonna get what he wants as quick as possible and skeddaddlydo. For the second part I’m thinking maybe because he has flashbacks and stuff he gets lost in his own mind, and idk about those last two lines in the second part but again I shall reiterate not every song is specifically written for murder man so I have to keep that in mind ugh. Last part- I’d think he’d want to live his life to its fullest because you’ve only got so long on earth, ya know? And he’d know that as well as anyone.

cONTINUING ONTO THE SECOND VERSE AFTER THE CHORUS.

Oh, the apocalypse is coming Don't you lose all your control 'Cause you can't get into heaven If you haven't got a soul

You can never, ever stop me If you're sick or you're obscene You can bend or you can break But they'll replace you with machines

i feel like I don’t even have to explain the first part. but the second part- I’m thinking along the lines of the commission. You can die, but they’ll replace you with another moving part. And the first part of that section, also self explanatory. You can’t stop Five Hargreeves.

finally, the bridge section.

Paralyzed by the sum of your parts, oh-oh Abstracts with a human heart Captivated but I'm so confused, oh-oh Burning up in your mad IQ

His dna has been altered, he doesn’t know HOW to be a real person, society’s definition of a real person, and he So Wants to be that person but he can’t, because he doesn’t know how.

anyway this was fun thanks for reading

[some-eldritch-bats]

So. I have heard the above stated unironically. For folks who agree with the above comment (which was made sarcastically, to be clear, they absolutely don't agree with the thing they said)... Here's my little diatribe. Sit down, shut up, and listen.

Gambling, especially slots like this, is strongly associated with poverty and having limited wealth. This is for many reasons but obviously one reason is fucking obvious: if you put all your money into a machine, you don't have any. These machines are specifically designed to prey upon poor people and people who were not taught financial literacy, which combined is a lot of people.

Problem gambling is DIRECTLY CAUSED BY treatment for Parkinson's disease. People who have never gambled before in their lives can suddenly develop severe gambling addictions. This is because some of the primary medications for Parkinson's disease directly elevate levels of dopamine in your brain. Drugs like carbidopa are literally designed to hyper-activate your reward pathways, because Parkinson's is a disease of low dopamine production, especially within the basal ganglia (which lets you start, continue, and stop voluntary movements and is also what's defective in people with tic disorders). People taking carbidopa have had their reward pathways ripped out of their head and replaced with a giant flashing fucking light saying "WOOOOO GAMBLING AND DRUGS BAYBEEEE!!!" It's not their fault they can't stop gambling and it's functionally IMPOSSIBLE for them to stop. Other issues with carbidopa include sudden food or alcohol addictions, other sudden substance addictions, and engaging in risky behaviours (especially risky sexual behaviours, which are kind of rampant in retirement homes). Frankly, if someone you love and have some part in the care in who has Parkinson's disease suddenly develops an addiction of some kind? You need to do something to try and stop them. Put limiters on their cards, get them blacklisted from all local casinos and put child safety locks on their phone apps, check on them more frequently, if possible become a co-signatory on their accounts and monitor their spending.

Do yous think that casinos are distributing that "hoarded wealth" that they steal from patrons? NO!!! THEY'RE FUCKING VAMPIRES!!! They fucking hoard it RIGHT BACK, and far far worse too. Old people have to pay to eat. They have to pay for utilities. They pass their money on when they die to younger family members who go out and buy houses. Casinos fucking don't. They put it in a big Scrooge McDuck pile and then they invest it into their friends' businesses and the wealth consolidation gets even worse.

These machines are fucking rigged and I cannot stress enough: were none of these other things true, that alone would make them evil. These things need to be shut the shit down because this is basically just legalised theft and I have no idea why.

I come from New South Wales in Australia, which is the unambiguous poker machine capital of the world. We have legalised poker machines OUTSIDE of casinos, which has led to virtually every pub having a stupidly high number of poker machines to the point that there is ONE POKER MACHINE FOR EVERY 88 FUCKING PEOPLE. Imagine walking into a normal-ass pub on a high street, and the first thing you see is a line of poker machines and a bunch of people sat in front of them, slowly and methodically dropping their food money into the slot. That's a normal sight in my home state, in this country that claims to give people a fair fucking go.

These machines are legalised theft, and they target the poor and the vulnerable and the elderly and the disabled. They target people that nobody cares about and systematically rob them, and this is considered "good business" instead of a "heinous crime against humanity" for no reason at all.