#but also what about you anon?? what do you want to see the most?
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captain-huggy-bear · 3 days ago
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A Little Misunderstanding
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Pairing: Quinn Hughes x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Lil' angsty at points, but ends sweet, lots of mutual pining and two idiots not realising the other is also in love with the other, meddling mothers (for the best this time)
Summary: Your parents assume that Quinn, the man you mention over the phone all the time, is in fact your boyfriend. He's very much not, but Quinn thinks its funny to pretend he is...until it gets a little too real and maybe some truths are told and feelings are aired.
Notes: Thank you to the anon who requested fake dating to lovers with Quinn, I had this idea which is a little different from the usual fake dating so I hope its okay and you still like it 😊
Tried to keep it ambiguous as to where the reader originated from so that us UK girlies can relate as well as anyone else not from Vancouver and/or Canada.
Reminder I typically use UK spellings because I'm English so...don't come at me if you wish I spelt it the US away. If I have to read US spellings all the time, you can handle the odd UK spelling
Totally happy to take requests/ideas/prompts at the moment in my ask box :)
Writing Masterlist
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"When does your flight get in?" You balance your phone between your shoulder and ear, picking up a stray sock that had fallen out of your laundry basket as you attempt to tidy your apartment.
"7am your time, sweetheart, remember?" Your mother's voice rings clear down the line, familiar and warm. It's been a while since you saw either of your parents. You having moved all the way to Vancouver, more miles than you could count from your birthplace and hometown around two years ago. You were excited to have them finally able to come out and stay with you for a week, they'd never been to see you, and it had been a while since you'd been able to see your parents, not having time to fly to see them. While you were glad for the move to Vancouver, living in a completely different place away from your family wasn't always the easiest thing in the world. You so often felt like you were having to fend for yourself without much of a support network. Luckily you'd made some good friends in the time you'd been in Van.
"Quinn offered to come with me to pick you and dad up, we'll be there waiting for you so don't worry about getting an Uber." You dropped Quinn's name casually because that's what it was, he was just another part of your existence. Your friend, who admittedly you had a small crush on, but just your friend nonetheless. Just because you thought he was beautiful and wanted to kiss him didn't mean you were allowed to kiss him or that he'd even want to kiss you. He was a friend who happened to be a man and you both happened to be single. This had not changed for two years and wasn't likely to any time soon.
"Oh, Quinn'll be there?" Your mother's voice was suddenly more upbeat, excited. She'd been eager to meet Quinn for months now, you're not sure why she finally took an interest in one of your friends but you can't help but be glad. Quinn had become a massive part of your life, a support network you very much needed when you'd first come to a strange new place all by yourself. He was part of the fabric of your life now, and you knew he'd charm your parents without even thinking about it. It shouldn't matter to you that your parents like your friend, its not like Quinn was your boyfriend, but it did matter to you. You wanted them to like him as much as you did because you wanted him around for the foreseeable future.
"Yeah, I mentioned you were coming to visit the other day and his car is bigger than mine, so he offered to come along, he has to get up early most days anyway so he's not too bothered by it." It helped that Quinn had a couple of days off, but still you were thankful. He could have spent his rare enough free time doing something much more enjoyable than helping you pick your parents up from the airport.
"Your father and I look forward to meeting him, we've heard so much about him, darling!"
There's something about your mother's tone that makes you stop for a second suddenly feeling a little awkward about the whole thing. Maybe it's just how eager she is or maybe it's something else, but there's a little red flag waving in the back of your mind with some small print on that you just can't quite read yet.
"Right...um, look I'll see you tomorrow morning then? I gotta get everything ready for you guys."
"Of course, of course! We love you!"
"Love you too, mum."
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"You're sure you don't mind?" You look over at Quinn from the passenger seat, the two of you look exhausted, big bags under your eyes and even bigger hoodies to hide in because a 5am wake up to get to the airport in time was just a little much for both of you. This early in the morning it's still dark and the streetlights do something to Quinn's face that makes him even more handsome than usual, even as he looks like he might fall back asleep at any minute. It doesn't help that his scruff has grown out or that his hair is in those perfect waves he always seems to get even when he's just taken his bucket off.
"I wouldn't have offered if I did, besides the amount of time we spend together isn't it about time I met your parents? You've met mine." He smiles over at you, cheeky, the sort of Quinn most people didn't see. It's silly that it makes your cheeks feel warm, he's just your friend. You shouldn't be flustered by him.
"Your parents are at as many of your games as possible, of course I've met them."
"So are you. Sue me for wanting to meet the parents of one of my best friends."
"I'm your best friend?" You lean your head back on the headrest, tilting slightly to grin at him all silly. Quinn can see it from the corner of his eye and as much as it's ridiculous, that little grin makes you even more beautiful than normal.
"One of." He rolls his eyes at you, partly because of your silliness and partly rolling his eyes at himself. You're his friend. He shouldn't feel this way about you, men can have female friends...he just can't seem to have you as a female friend without wanting to kiss you at any given opportunity. It's becoming difficult, even more so in the early morning when the low light level puts your face in stark contrast and your hoodie, one of his, makes you look so cozy and sweet.
"That's just your way of avoiding admitting how much you love me and need me in your life."
Quinn's cheeks flush bright red, so bright that even the low light can't hide it nor hide the way he bites back a smile at you, eyes fixed on the road and the last few miles to the airport.
"...Shut up."
The silence that fills the car is comfortable, the sort that comes about from spending so much time together. You have friends that aren't Quinn, of course you do, but Quinn had been your first friend in Vancouver. He'd shown you around and made time for you in his incredibly busy schedule. You were often the first person he saw when he came off a roadie and the last person to see him before he left for one. There were nights when you stayed round Quinn's after a game or vice versa. You spent so much time together that you simply coexisted, being around Quinn was as easy as breathing. You rarely argued or disagreed and when you did it was always resolved properly. You simply worked. There wasn't ever much to think about with Quinn. You could just...shut off.
"Thank you, though...seriously." You take a moment, thinking how to word your next few thoughts, your warning as the signs for the airport come into full view, "Just, my mum seems really eager to meet you so...just brace yourself."
"Eager?"
"You know when your parents are excited to meet a new partner?" You think back to the few times you'd introduced a boyfriend to your mum, the excitement that she exuded...it was starting to concern you that she was that excited to just meet your friend. Because that's all Quinn was. Your friend. Not your boyfriend. Your friend, you remind yourself, even as he looks so good smiling over at you with his beard. He'd let it grow out just enough that he looked rugged and mature.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, she's that sort of excited which is really weird...she normally doesn't' care that much about my friends. Just, sorry, if she's really weird about it?" It's awkward enough talking about, you and Quinn have always stayed firmly platonic, you didn't talk about the fact that people assumed you were dating or even the concept of it. Talking about it felt...it felt like you were opening the curtains up, letting him see in a little too far.
"You didn't tell her we were married or something, did you?"
"Quinn! Shut up!" He laughs so loud that you can't actually be that mad at him, not when he's grinning at you like that, not when he's been so stressed as of late about the performance of his team. Even if it's at your expense.
"What? Just checking! For all I know you could have told her we got married in Vegas during one of my games or something?"
"If I'm telling my mum I'm married to you, it'll be because I'm actually married to you, you idiot." You roll your eyes at him, arms crossing over your chest as you turn to look out the window.
"Oh, so you do want to marry me?" He's joking, but he's not...he's thought about it. There's not a day that Quinn hasn't thought about what it would be like to be yours and you be his, not since he met you...and then promptly managed to land himself so far into the friendzone that he was scared to crawl his way out lest he leave you behind in the process.
"...I hate you."
"No you don't." His voice is singsong in intonation and sweet and he's right because you love him and it hurts...god, it hurts how much you love someone you can't have. Someone you see every day, someone who is so deeply ingrained in your life that removing him would be like carving a hole into your own chest.
You just sit and glare at him, even as a heavy sort of sadness hits, as he pulls up into one of the parking bays for collecting passengers.
It's okay that he's just your friend, you remind yourself as you get out of the car. It's okay because he's the best friend you could ask for, he's here at 6.45 am in the morning to collect your parents from the airport, not because he was asked or because he had to, but because he wanted to. You can live with loving him in silence, so long as you always have him around.
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"I think they're over this way, probably, near gate 1?" You're just getting your bearings, trying to figure out roughly where your parents will come out at after they find their things from baggage claim when you hear it.
"My baby!" The squeal of a middle aged woman who hasn't seen her daughter in far too long pierces the air. You barely have time to brace yourself for impact before your mother is wrapping you up in a gigantic hug and pressing as many kisses to your face as possible, you know without a doubt her signature mauve lipstick is smudged all across your skin.
Your father stands behind her, rolling his eyes in amusement but the smile he gives you is no less warm, "Hey there, princess."
"Hi, mum, hi, dad," You pull yourself free from your mother just long enough to get a long awaited hug from your father, big and warm and so familiar that you almost feel like crying. How long has it been since you last hugged your dad? Half a year? Nine months? Longer? You sometimes don't realise how much you miss something until you get it back.
When you turn back around your mother is already pulling Quinn into a hug that he accepts, if a tad awkwardly, his hands patting her on the back like he's not quite sure how hugs work.
She has his face in her hands before you can intervene, overly familiar and friendly as she grins up at him like he's made her day just by existing. "You must be Quinn, Y/N's boyfriend..."
"Oh, he's n-" You're pretty sure your eyes bug out of your head, startled by the suggestion because at no point in the last few years of living in Vancouver had you ever called Quinn your boyfriend. Ever.
You're cut off by Quinn who's grinning at you wickedly over the top of your mother's head like he's just been giving the greatest Christmas present he could ever ask for and in that moment you know...you know that he is going to make your life very difficult with this tiny piece of information.
"Yeah, hi, nice to meet, the boyfriend, that's me." God, he wishes it was true. There's nothing more he wants in that moment than to be able to say to your mom that you are 100% his girlfriend, but he can't...he can, however, enjoy the roleplaying while it lasts. He can't really stop himself, not when you look so aghast at your mother calling him your boyfriend, not when he can use this to tease you for at least the next 30 years. He grew up with 2 brothers, sue him for taking advantage of the situation.
"Quinn!"
"What? Am I not allowed to call myself your boyfriend anymore?" He sidles up to you, slipping out from your mother's grip to pull you into his side. His arm rests naturally over your shoulder, yours finding his waist, and it is natural...because you've done this a million times before. The kiss he presses to your hair is new though, different and as much as your mum clearly believes the ruse, you can see your father just looks amused. Something tells you he knows this is all an act, but he finds it enjoyable to watch. Typical. No support from him when you need it most. Dads.
"Oh, she's just grouchy in the mornings, has been ever since she was a baby!" Your mother looks at the two of you with such pride that you're certain her heart actually might break when she finds out Quinn isn't actually your boyfriend. You've never seen her look so happy with your choice in a man before and you're certain she won't be able to cope when you have to inevitably tell her that it was either a) a lie or b) that Quinn just wasn't the guy for you (another lie just to make your life more complicated).
"Mum!"
"Oh don't worry, I know just how grouchy my baby can be in the mornings." This time he presses a kiss to your cheek and when he does, you hiss lowly in his ear, 'I'm going to kill you.' and Quinn can't help but laugh at you, biting his lip at how much fun he's having riling you up.
"Here let me take your bags, Mrs Y/L/N," Quinn's bending down before your mother can even begin to protest, her carry on backpack being slung over his shoulder and pulling up the handle of her suitcase to wheel it behind him.
"Oh, you don't have to, Quinn!"
"I insist." He knows he's making it harder on you, can see the look you give him because he's just going to make your mother fall in love with him. But, even as he enjoys riling you up, he was also raised right and he's not letting your mother carry her own bags.
Your mother hangs back with you while your father and Quinn start walking ahead with the suitcases. She slips her arm through yours walking with you to keep up, as she does so she does a very bad attempt at whispering. The sort of whispering that means you know Quinn can hear every word and is probably enjoying it immensely.
"He's such a gentleman..."
"Yeah, a real gentleman." You mutter sarcastically, watching the way his shoulders rise and fall in a silent laugh that he's no doubt doing his best to swallow down.
"Don't be grumpy, he's just being sweet on you. You should be glad for such a loving boyfriend..." Your mother scolds you before raising her voice back to normal, Quinn and your father slowing down slightly to help keep the four of you together, "So, Quinn, my daughter tells me you're a hockey player?"
"Yeah, you talk about me, baby?" Quinn's grin is wide, and you can't help the warmth that fills your entire face because you can't actually deny it. You talk about Quinn all the time, he's your best friend and whenever your mother phones, you inevitably talk about him. Whether it was a game of his you went to or a coffee place you'd visited together or gala he'd invited you to. Maybe, you talked about him too much? Maybe, it was obvious in the way you talked about him that you loved him? Maybe that's why your mother had made such a large assumption about your relationship status. Maybe this was your fault, why wouldn't she assume you were dating?
"She talks about you all the time. Quinn this, Quinn that...did you know that Quinn did this today and broke this record?"
"Mum..." You groan out, looking to your dad for help but all he does is shrug his shoulders at you, amusement bright in his eyes. Even if he could do something you know he wouldn't because he's clearly enjoying your torture.
Quinn can't help it, the tables seem to reverse. You're embarrassed still, but now he is too, bright red in the face, ears flushed the colour of a fire engine and a hand rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. All because you talk about him to your parents...you talk about him when he's not around...he feels like a twelve year old, giddy because his crush smiled at him for the first time.
"I play for the NHL."
"Vancouver Canucks, wasn't it?" Your mother asks as the four of you step out into the cold Canadian air, her attention making Quinn squirm and you smile, enjoying the discomfort being swapped around for a moment.
"Yeah, I'm the captain of the team." He smiles at your mother awkwardly as he opens the boot of the car and starts to pile in the suitcases, organising them in just the right way that they fit without hassle.
Your father chimes in as he lifts his own suitcase into the back, Quinn helping him shove it back further, "That's impressive, I used to play field hockey myself, never got out of the amateur league but got a few bruises in my time. You had an injury recently right?"
You still remember phoning your mum to talk about it, at first worried and then over time growing more and more frustrated with how sullen Quinn was being. He'd grown restless from not being able to play hockey and you'd been his distraction, a distraction that had grown fed up with his moping no matter how much you loved him.
"I've had a few this year, most recently my hand." He raises his braced hand, the brace a point of annoyance to him at this point in time. He was itching to be done with it, but put up with it because it meant he could still play hockey at the moment.
"Oh, you shouldn't have been carrying my bag then, Quinn!" Your mother fusses over him, flapping about as if she might have a miracle cure for his hand injury.
"Honestly, it's fine! It looks worse than it is, I promise. I wouldn't get away with it otherwise, this one would kill me." He nods his head at you as he closes the boot, opening one of the backdoors for your mother to slide inside.
"Damn right I'd kill you, I cannot take more days of you moping that you can't play hockey and that you're bored despite my amazing company."
"You know I enjoyed spending time with you, sweetheart...but..."
"But, you can't live without hockey, yeah, I know..."
He follows you round to the passenger side door, opening it for you like a gentleman and letting you slide inside. You find yourself enjoying the attention even as you catch your mother's eye in the rear view mirror, a little smirk reaching her lips as she watches Quinn buckle you in. Something he does from time to time when he's feeling particularly sweet...because he was a good friend.
"So, Quinn, how did you meet our daughter? I'm not sure she ever mentioned it?"
The entire ride home is filled with your mother peppering Quinn with questions, encouraging him to talk more and more about your 'relationship'. Everything from when you first met to the first date you went on (which Quinn told her was the first time he took you ice skating, you were under the impression that that was a friendly family skate event and most certainly not a date).
The conversation lulls while you set your parents up in your spare bedroom, helping them settle themselves and showing them around your apartment. They hadn't ever seen it in person and they spent half the time cooing over your choices, the photos of family and friends on the wall, the ones of you and Quinn, as well as your mother checking your fridge and telling you to buy more vegetables.
It's as you're sitting down to a breakfast of pre-bought croissants and pain au chocolat that your mother restarts her question. This time even more invasive than the first.
"So Quinn, when did you know?"
"Mm? Know what?" Your best friend looks at your mother with furrowed brows, taking a sip of his orange juice and almost choking on it when she proceeds to clarify her question.
"When you loved my daughter."
There's a long beat of silence where your eyes stay fixated on your plate, watching your own hands intently as you spread Nutella inside your croissant, far too focused on that to be anything casual or calm. You're certain you're going to be sick because he doesn't love you but you love him and your poor mother is so oblivious and this...this is going too far, it feels like it's gone too far.
"Expected answer or honest answer?"
"Honest answer."
"The second week I knew her." Your head snaps up with a start only to find Quinn looking directly at you, green eyes crinkling softly at the corners. "She heard that I had been hurt on the ice the night before and she stormed round my apartment with a bunch of food, medicine and a blanket. Spent the whole day looking after me and making me watch 90s movies I hadn't watched growing up. No one outside my family had ever done that for me before...it made me realise that if I wasn't already in love, I would be pretty quick." You almost believe him, the way he looks at you, the way he speaks so softly. Almost.
You look down at your plate, tears welling in your eyes because you know he doesn't mean it. He's spinning a yarn for your mother and it hurts that he would go that far when you both know this is all some ruse he's decided to pull. You swallow hard and take a bite of your croissant, refusing to look at him for the rest of breakfast.
You won't meet his eyes until he goes to leave after breakfast, your parents hanging back so you can say goodbye to your 'boyfriend'.
"Mind if I come over after dinner? We could watch a movie with your parents?"
"Quinn..." You go to challenge him on his behaviour today, but the words won't come out.
"What?"
"Nothing...uh, sure, after dinner?"
"After dinner, baby."
You want to tell him off as he says it, as he presses a kiss to your cheek so your parents can see because you aren't his baby and he's hurting you. He's hurting you without realising it because you so desperately want to be his baby. But, you don't. You just watch him walk away down the corridor of your apartment building and out of sight before getting ready to show your parents around Vancouver for the day.
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You try to put the whole thing out of your mind throughout the day, showing your parents the sights of Vancouver, including the arena...but it's hard when they keep bringing Quinn back up and asking about your feelings. They probe you for half the day and it's emotionally exhausting balancing the truth with the half-truth, even more so knowing that they're going to be just as disappointed as you are when they realise your relationship with Quinn is just a sham, a charade, a fake.
Eventually they seem to grow bored of talking about the topic, however, and dinner goes relatively smoothly, you taking them to a nice restaurant Quinn had shown you back in your first couple of months in Vancouver. Even that feels bittersweet though, filled with memories of the two of you dining together. You can't help but feel like the whole issue needs addressing as you get them back home and pop a film on ready for Quinn's arrival.
When he arrives he continues the act as if it isn't one, greeting you at the door with a kiss to the cheek and pulling you down onto the loveseat opposite your parents, curling one arm around your shoulders and urging you to lay against him, your cheek pressed into his chest. In some ways it's familiar, not an act, because you cuddle for movies all time, completely platonically of course, but both of you are touchy feely and it's always been part of your dynamic. In others though? The way he talks to you, the pet names, kisses to your hair, that is all new, all a way to show your parents he's the 'doting boyfriend', even though he's not your boyfriend at all.
Your parents lap it up, every now and then you catch them smiling at each other and then over to the two of you and you can't help but feel heavy with it. With this feeling of unrequited affection. You love Quinn, you've known that for a while now, but it was easy to be around him because you didn't need to address it. You could love him in silence and from afar...you had never considered how hard it would become when what you wanted most was being dangled in front of you like a carrot on a string.
Quinn has a similar dilemma going on in his own head. He's always known he loved you more than a friend, even when you barely knew each other...had he been braver he would have asked for your number for a date that first day, not so that he could show you around a new city as a 'friend'. But, he'd been a coward and since then he'd continued to be. He enjoyed every ounce of affection he got from you, every hug, every cuddle, ever time you held his arm at an event, all while feeling like that had to be enough...now he's had more? He's not sure it'll ever be enough, he's greedy for you. Greedy for your affection, your attention, greedy in the way he wants to keep kissing you, keeping calling you sweet names and greedy for the way you grow bashful. Greedy for more than just being your friend...he's given himself a taste of what life could be like and now he can't forget it.
It's halfway through the movie, your legs slung over Quinn's lap and his fingers carding through the ends of your hair when your parents stand with a groan from the other couch.
"Princess?" You lift your head to look at your father, who's stretching out his back after sitting for so long.
"Yeah, dad?"
"Your mother and I are getting a little tired...we're going to go to bed, if that's alright with you two?"
"Of course, don't let us keep you up." Quinn confirms your own thoughts as well, telling your parents it's not problem at all. It's all so...so domestic.
Your dad presses a kiss to the top of your head, as does your mother, before yourself and Quinn wish them goodnight. You wait until you see the door to the spare room start to close, not waiting for it to do so fully, before turning to Quinn. You pull out of his arms, the missing warmth of you an immediate loss to him, but it has him sitting up straight and taking you seriously.
Your face is sullen, sad, eyebrows pinched, mouth turned down into a frown and he's alarmed to see that your eyes are glassy like you might cry.
"Why on earth would you let my parents think we're dating? Why would you tell my mother you're in love with me?" You're certain you're going to cry, angry, frustrated and sad all in one. Lovesick because it hurts to hear him tell your mother he was in love with you when you know he's not.
"Why not?" He frowns at you, hands reaching out but you keep just out of reach as if touching him is the last thing you want. You've never shied away from Quinn's touch and he recoils, breathing a little heavier out of anxious worry that he's upset you, that he's fucked this up. Maybe you've been uncomfortable with his touch all day? Has he been making you uncomfortable all day? Is he one of those guys?
"Because we're not dating and you're not in love with me, Quinn. My mother is certain we're going to get married and I'll stop being an old spinster! You're getting her hopes up." The unspoken words lay heavy on your tongue, 'you're getting my hopes up', you want to say.
"Who said I didn't love you? Who said I didn't want to marry you?" The look he gives you isn't the cheeky one he's had all day, it's not joking or silly, it's dead serious. He scoots closer to you, but doesn't reach out for you this time. But, Quinn can't help but want to be close to you, to be drawn into your orbit, into your gravity.
"Quinn..."
"What?"
"You're being mean..." Your voice is filled with tears, wet, pathetic sounding and you choke back a sob as a tear falls down your cheek because he's being so mean...he can't dangle that in front of you, everything you've ever wanted, not when he doesn't actually mean it.
He realises in that moment that you don't believe him. You believe he's spent the entire morning and evening telling lies, saying that he loves you when he doesn't, that you're that important to him when you aren't. You believe he's being mean because you don't believe him, that the tears are because you think he's holding this thing, this idea out in front of you, only to snatch it away.
"Look, I said a lot today...but none of it was a lie." He can't help himself this time, hand coming up to cup your cheek, thumb wiping away that pesky tear that shouldn't have been there in the first place. It's the way you lean into his touch that brings him a sense of confidence, of relief, you wouldn't do that if you didn't want him touching you.
"I know our first date wasn't a date, just a stupid family skate I was too scared to ask you out to as more than just a friend. I wish it had been a date and I wish I had been brave enough from the start to tell you I didn't just want to be your friend."
"Quinn..."
"And I was telling the truth...when your mother asked me when I fell in love with you." He tugs you closer, until your legs are back over his lap and your practically sitting on top of him, arms wrapping around your lower back and pulling you closer. The way he stares up at you is nothing short of reverent.
"Q..."
"The second week we knew each other you came to look after me when no one else did...and I knew...I knew that I was going to love you and that I was stupid for not asking you out in the first place...but I was...I was too scared to say anything. I didn't want to lose my new friend...I thought..." He hesitates, tongue coming out to nervously brush against his bottom lip, capturing your attention like a magpie with a shiny button.
"You thought?" You're whispering, quiet as if to speak any louder might scare him, might disrupt this little bubble you've found yourself in.
"I thought having a tiny bit of you...any bit, was better than having none of you at all." Quinn confesses, shifting you on his lap as your legs fall either side of his hips until you're so close your noses brush.
"Is it?"
"It was...for a bit..." It's self-deprecating, sardonic, like he finds himself ridiculous, foolish.
"And now?"
"And now I've had a taste of what it's like to love you, to be able to kiss you and hold you...call you mine...and now I'm greedy and it's not enough...Baby, it'll never be enough."
"You...you love me?" It's like even after all of this, everything he's said, every tender touch, you still don't quite believe him. It's hard to believe that everything you've ever wanted is sat in the palm of your hand just waiting for you to capture it, to take it. That your feelings, the ones you believed were unrequited for two years, were actually returned all along.
"I love you...and...um, if...if you'll have me, maybe I could be your real boyfriend this time?" His face is bright red, so warm to the touch when you're fingers reach out to trace his cheeks that you're surprised he doesn't combust.
"I'd like that...I...I love you too,"
"So...I'm your boyfriend?" He says it like he doesn't quite believe it, the beauty mark on his cheek moving as he grins up at you giddy like a little kid getting his first bag of sweets.
"You're my boyfriend." You press a kiss to that beauty mark without overthinking it...because you can now, because now it's not a lie when you tell your parents he's your boyfriend, because now you're allowed to kiss him and hold him and tell him how much you love him.
"Fuck...that sounds good."
He can't help but just stare up at you from where you're straddling his lap. The healthy glow to your skin, the soft smile directed down at him, the way you seem to curl into him like you're not close enough even now. God, you're beautiful and you're his...you're finally his and he's yours and...and he can't comprehend that the thing he wanted to happen for so long has finally happened. What had he been scared of all this time? He could have been with you for two years, instead he'd squandered it out of fear...
"Quinn?" Your voice is soft, melodic, so so sweet that almost closes his eyes at the sound.
"Yeah, baby?"
"Kiss me?" You whisper as if it's shameful to ask, as if you've asked for something more sordid than a simple kiss...your first kiss together at that.
"Anything for my girl."
He's gentle in the way he cups your neck and jaw with one large hand, thumb pressing just below your jaw bone as he pulls you in. There's nothing rushed about the way Quinn presses your lips together, the smooth glide of his bottom lip against your top. Even the way his tongue brushes against your lip until you open up for him is slow, steady, adoring. You can't help the way you sigh into him, fingers gliding through dark chocolate strands, eyes closing shut with the sense of home, sense of relief that you find in him.
The two of you lose yourselves in each other, slow kisses, wandering hands, nothing too extreme, but a new found intimacy that you're finally allowed to indulge in before you curl back up together to watch the remainder of the movie. Watch being a loose term for what you're really doing.
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"Did you know?" Your father turns his eyes away from the scene outside the spare bedroom, the way you're curled up in Quinn's arms like you were always supposed to be there. Neither of you realising that the spare bedroom door had never fully closed, both your parents eavesdropping like Samwise Gamgee.
"That they weren't actually together, dear?" Your mother looks sly and devious as she looks over at her husband. The face of the woman he loves, but also fears in equal measure.
"Yes."
"Of course I knew...but I figured they could both use a shove in the right direction, I mean, look at them?" Your parents both turn to watch the two of you, the way you curl up together on the couch is the epitome of young love. There's no real watching of a movie happening, instead Quinn's fingers are rubbing circles into your shoulder, while you look up at him lovingly from where you're curled against his chest. Every now and then he dips his head down to press a kiss against your forehead, and each time you giggle, face pressing briefly into his neck. The giddy feeling of a new, fresh love, making film watching the least of your interests.
"They just needed a little push." Both your parents smile at each other even as your father playfully scolds his wife, "You're a meddlesome woman."
"And you love me for it."
"Yes, yes I do."
Perhaps it took a bit of meddling, a fake misunderstanding, but that would be their little secret...at least for now. Your mother was rather looking forward to seeing you squirm in the future as you reveal the truth, that you hadn't actually been dating Quinn as long as you said. Yes, she certainly was happy to help, but she also was still your mother and lying to your mother was certainly not the done thing. A little squirming was good for you sometimes, but first, she'd let you enjoy the fresh bloom of love...and she'd go easy on you.
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signanothername · 23 hours ago
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I– I need to ask.
HOW DO YOU DO THIS?? Like, share your thoughts with everyone. Because I've been working on my universe for about three years now, AND I STILL FEEL LIKE IT'S NOT READY. At the same time, I’m still afraid to share these things...
So. How do you do it?D:
Alright my answer will seem a bit harsh and/or cruel, but know that I mean it in the most kind, genuine, and gentle way possible, i just don’t know how to word it any other way
With that in mind
Anon, you’re never going to be ready to share it, and the fear will always linger, you will never be 100% confident of what you share
And that’s ok
Again, I know that i make it seem super easy, but I promise that I’m just as afraid to share my ideas as anyone else (I’m a perfectionist, and that also contributes to my fear to share things)
It’s just, I think of it this way
I have an idea, and I got two choices
Either
1- I keep overthinking it, and succumb to my worries and fears when it comes to my idea, and keep my ideas with me, never to see the light of day
Or
2- I acknowledge that I’m afraid, acknowledge that my idea might not be perfect or ready, acknowledge that there might be flaws that I will probably notice later and even feel stupid about it, and still share my ideas anyway regardless of the voice in my head telling me to “wait a little more”
I usually go for choice number 2
The art and writing process is complicated, it’s so not easy to write something and feel ready to share it, no matter how much time it takes, you will never ever feel truly and utterly ready to share it, you’ll have that worry in your mind that maybe it’s stupid, or incomplete, or inconsistent or whatever else
And guess what? Sometimes, the worried voice in your head is completely right
But what matters is how you tackle it
Even if you share an idea, remember that you can always change your mind about it, you can absolutely go back and say, I don’t like that idea anymore and so I’ll remove/ change/ replace it
Ideas are never set in stone, you change and grow as a person as so do your ideas, they grow and change with you as you learn more and more, and sometimes they don’t, they don’t change at all, and that’s ok too
You can’t keep worrying about whether the story or idea you’re working on is ready or complete, because all you’re going to do is just walk around in circles and end up never sharing anything at all
It’s ok to be worried, but you can’t let your worries control you, of course, it’s not easy to ignore your worries, but it’s better than feeling stuck with your ideas
I myself do deal with these worries a lot, most of the time i just tell my brain “shut up” and share my ideas anyway, other times my worries do get the best of me and i tend to keep some ideas to myself
But sharing your ideas is actually essential for you to actually be able to work on them and refine them, because people might start asking questions or giving really good feedback that you actually sit with yourself to think about
But what if they ask you a question and you don’t know the answer to it? That’s actually a good thing, it’ll make you sit down and think of how to connect the dots and answer it, not only does it mean you’re actually making progress on your story/ideas, but these kinda questions help you understand different perspectives and by that, you learn and grow in your writing
It’s ok to be worried and to keep ideas to yourself sometimes, but don’t let them fester, because believe me, eventually your passion is gonna burn out because you kept overthinking it to the point it became just a worry than something you enjoy doing
In fact, to give you a bit of motivation, imma actually share one of the ideas I never shared cause I was afraid it’ll be a bit stupid and out of character
And I’m very worried about sharing it, but fuck my worry I do what I want
Remember when I mentioned Dream received one gift from Nightmare, and never received anything after? My idea for that gift was an echo flower he gave Dream, and it echoes one thing “I love you”
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There, I shared it ouuughh the stress of sharing it is killing me actually, but I mean I can keep worrying about it forever, or actually share it and refine it later if I wanted, I choose the latter
And your ideas are never going to be perfect anyway, but you can improve them with time, even after sharing them
That’s all I do really shzggz
So go out there and start sharing anon, fuck anxiety, you can do whatever you want, you’re unstoppable
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charleezard · 2 days ago
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I guess not being okay with the state of israel commiting serious war crimes against the palestinians, and even killing their own israeli civillians makes others anti simitic to you, yes?
Pretty sure the millions of anti zionist jews don't agree with that. The Jewish faith and the Torah don't agree with israels actions. Killing women and children, apartheid. Theft, taking what does not belong to you and more...
Be ashamed of yourself mate.
Look up the long list of israels crimes against humanity. It is not anti Semitic to be against war crimes. Do you even hear yourself??? Besides the palestinians are a semetic people aswell.. it's israels saying they're going to kill all the palestinians.
I hope you allow yourself to see the truth i really do
First of all, I'm not your mate, I don't know you.
Second, you're just making a whole lot of assumptions about me, and most of them are wrong so I'm guessing you didn't even read my previous posts.
Third, you come here with all this information, and clearly you didn't do any research because you're wrong on multiple fronts
Zionism is the belief that Jews have the right of self determination in their own land. Y'know, where we're indigenous from and all that. That's literally all it is. Also millions of anti-zionist Jews? I don't think you did your math correctly. There are 15 million of us, and even if 10% are anti-zionists which would be a very generous guess, that would not even get to 2 millions. So calm down.
"Semitic people" is a defunct term. It doesn't refer to anything anymore. Semitic is only used to refer to languages, and antisemitism refers specifically to hatred of Jewish people.
Israel never said it wanted to kill all Palestinians, you're full of shit. It's also not an apartheid, words have meanings, and that's not it
And don't come in here trying to tell me what the Torah says and doesn't say, you literally have no idea what you're talking about.
Lastly, I'm absolutely against war crimes, on all sides. They should be investigated and punished accordingly if needed. I've said it before and I'm saying it again. But I can tell you Hamas committed many more war crimes, so I'm assuming you want them investigated and punished for it as well right?
Lastly, you coming in here accusing me of all these things without proof is indeed antisemitic, yes. Now if you'd like to have a proper discussion about it, you can come off anon and DM me. Although no anon has taken me up on that offer yet so I don't think you will either
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rockybloo · 2 days ago
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I feel like bitchin so I'mma bitch bc I always see people going on rants on their Tumblrs and I'm long overdue for one. Anyways, this is a long one so be aware you are gonna be scrolling for a good bit if you view under the cut.
ANYWAYS, I know that that rude anon from last week is old news but their whole "I'm sad that Glitter and Guilt is a m/f relationship" thing is just a part of a never ending situation I am going to experience til the end of time (or til I stop posting stuff online) just because I focus on primarily m/f relationships in my art.
And they aren't even straight m/f relationships, which is what annoys me the most about comments like this. They're all bisexual. But because people see bisexual characters as better than straight but less than same-sex attracted orientation, I will always have to deal with these passive aggressive ass comments.
I dealt with this typa stuff SO OFTEN in my early days on Instagram, especially when I posted some of my gender nonconforming OCs like Danny (my pink demon man who dresses like a bimbo Barbie doll). It got to the point I stopped sharing him over there for a bit because I would get comments where people were hoping he had a boyfriend in the past, or they were disappointed I "never" drew any Sapphic couples because they mistook Danny as a woman in a pic where he was kissing Karrie.
And I get the whole desire to want more representation. Trust me, I'm bi, black, and nonbinary. I am NEVER going to get any type of representation outside of the indie artists I find in small niche circles online. I completely get the whole "m/f relationships are EVERYWHERE in mainstream media" mentality because I also agree but only to a point.
There's a ton of trashy m/f media, but there's also good shit when you dig because you can find people who don't just shove a guy and girl together and call that a done deal - they actually give them personality and chemistry and a fun dynamic.
I'm a firm believer that the gender of a ship shouldn't dictate if it's good or not. An interesting dynamic is what motivates me to care about a couple of characters dating. That's why it bugs me whenever someone suggests any kind of series to me and simply tells me "It's gay" before telling me the actual plotline. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT A SERIES IS ABOUT! DO NOT WASTE MY TIME!!! (Please do not pop into my inbox after reading this and suggest me stuff btw because I've never been a big suggestions unprompted person - I typically find stuff myself bc I have weird tastes ANYWAYS BACK TO MY RANTING)
When it comes to my art, I draw m/f relationships as a primary focus because it's fun to mess with gender dynamics and flip them on their head, as well as to give younger me the food I wish I had. Growing up, before I realized I was nonbinary, I rarely saw any black girls in loving relationships in animated series I enjoyed. And occasionally I would get flash banged with the long despised trope of "Disposable Black Girlfriend". So I never felt like m/f relationships were oversaturated in my eyes because there were barely any good ones that featured a black girl with a happy ending - which means from DAY MOTHERFUCKIN ONE I was starving for content.
So that obviously means that when I grew up and adopted my "Make your own food" mentality, I started cooking. AND COOK I STILL DO! Because in the end, I make all this food to please myself. OTHERS MAY EAT OF COURSE - I am always happy when people come to my restaurant to dine because they enjoy my meals, but I hate how every blue moon I will get someone who waltzes into my little eatery and tells me that they wish I cooked the meal they get from other restaurants.
Because it would be so much more productive to just go eat AT those restaurants since they already got the food you like.
Having people comment their displeasure about me drawing a guy and a girl together in a healthy (and occasionally insane) relationship is always baffling to me. It's never going to make me stop, it'll only make me draw more Red Beans or more Licorice. It's also so baffling because I know that if the tables where flipped - and I was drawing primarily same-sex bisexual couples (OR JUST SOME GAY OR LESBIAN COUPLES IN GENERAL BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T CARE ABOUT BI FOLKS AT ALL), it would be so fuckin' frowned upon to comment "I wish you drew more m/f! 🥺"
But because I draw m/f bi couples, it's totally free game. IT'S DEF STILL FROWNED UPON but one is way more likely to make you look like an asshole than the other. Because even in cases where people have said they agree it's a dick move to complain about m/f from me, there's still that vibe of it being more acceptable just because of mainstream media having so many m/f couples and that being the standard of offline society.
But I'm not mainstream media. And I disagree with a lot of standards of offline society which is WHY I poke fun at gender norms with my OCs.
That's why getting a ton of new followers is such a "oh boy here we go" thing for me, because with old followers that have been around for awhile, they know what's up. They understand what I draw, what I write, and how my OCs typically behave. They get that my m/f ships have rabies.
But new followers don't know this. And this has led to some real big "OOF" moments. Like people calling Jack and Nana a "het" couple. Yes, I know that that's a term that doesn't JUST mean "heterosexual" and can refer to them being different genders. It still feels hella weird for me - it's why m/f is my preferred descriptor because it lacks that confusion.
New followers are typically the ones that leave the passive aggressive comments about me mostly drawing m/f. OFTEN because they think I am one of those artists who will draw whatever it takes to please my audience. BUT I AM NOT - THERE IS NO AUDIENCE INFLUENCE HERE ☝🏾
I am not a taxi where I pick people up whenever they call me and I drop them off wherever they tell me.
I am a roller-coaster. Specifically those ones where you can see the entire track layout in the distance so you know what you're in for. You may sit in the front or the back or somewhere in the middle but that is the last input you got before I take off at my own speed (that will be stated RIGHT on the warning sign you read as you walked in) and once I am done, you may get off and carry along your merry way through the rest of the park OR you may get on to ride again.
This entire passive aggression towards m/f ships is just so tiring to deal with because there will never be an end to it. Even after I post this, I know days, weeks, months, YEARS down the line - someone will see some Jack and Nana art, or some Bitterbat and Sweetheart comic, or ANY of my other m/f couples, and type up some comment about how they wish the couples were same-sex. Or someone will lament over the fact they thought a couple was same-sex but it turned out the dude was just hella feminine.
Because it just ain't enough to have bisexual characters that are dating the same sex because then people will call them "straight passing" and not count them as being queer. And having all my OCs being bisexuals ain't enough to mark me as a queer artists in some eyes because "making all your OCs bi is just lazy" and not me representing an aspect of myself that I constantly see sidelined online.
Me drawing bisexual m/f couples is viewed as something that can be tinkered and tampered with so I can be more appealing and inclusive to others like I'm some mainstream Hollywood series and not just some random person online who draw the fictional beings in my mind kissing each other whenever I got the crumb of free time. Primarily drawing m/f couples means I gotta just vibe whenever I see a moot or a friend post or reblog some weird sentiment referring to how lame m/f couples are and I just gotta HOPE that they aren't including bisexuals when they engage with stuff like that.
I'm in this weird space where I am wedged between "You're not a straight artist" and "You aren't drawing enough gay stuff" online.
And I'm fine with this since I've been online for over a decade at this point. This isn't a vent post, this is a rant. I don't need cheering up or comfort after posting this. This is just some real talk because I typically post lighthearted stuff since I like to keep my blogs positive.
But I also like to keep my shit honest and I think it's important to just state a piece of my mind. I wouldn't say I'm being vulnerable, this is just some insight to why I draw what I do and why I get so annoyed by certain interactions with people and certain sentiments online that are antagonistic of m/f ships that put them all down without hearing them out.
Blah blah blah I'm tired of typing and I've said most of the main points I've needed uuuummm
If you read this long have some m/f fluff
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delulluart · 3 days ago
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Copia is a cannonically fat man and you should of draw him fat :/ it is fatphobic not to
Hey anon,
I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you didn't intend to come off as rude here. It's never cool to go to an artists (or writer, or any other creatives) space and demand them to do something the way you think is correct. I talk about them being hairy Italians in my opinion and don't agree with wrinklefree sixpack Instagram fitness Influencer versions with waxed chests of the Papas, but I never go and harass any artists who do draw them like that.
I strife to draw them as realistic/ close to what we see as possible with some headcanons/freedom of interpretation - for example, them being hairy, because they're Italian old men, despite us having seen Secondos whole chest, some flashes of Terzos and Copias tummys etc - because we can't expect TF to wear a fake chest hair lmao; or, I personally HC them being different heights than TF, which he also can't change; things like that!.
And in Copias case i actually mostly follow TF's general shape and what his clothing is designed to suggest (making him a bit taller and broader). So, to say he's "canonically" a fat man, is wrong. I have some pics here, just as examples for the "canon" (= the dude on stage) that show off kinda the maximum belly we've seen in 2023 at Copenhell by Tommy Skott, and also, bc we had such a long era of Copia blessing us, a Copenhell 2018 shot by Christian Hjorth of him as Cardinal.
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There's some tummy, he has thick thighs, and butt but he's not fat. The thighs are clearly mostly muscle (second pic by Katja Ogrin, in 2022, I've never recovered from that one), too.
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What I'm NOT saying is: "he can't be a fat man!" or "fat people are bad!" (I'm a fat person, too) or something like that.
Please draw him fat, if you want that, support artists who draw him fat - there's been great art recently all over (and I guess you've been influenced/inspired by that to send me this message?) and we need some cool fat character rep!
It just is not the way I, personally, see him.
Also, sidenote, I don't draw him skinny, ever; as mentioned earlier, I see him have a tummy, thick thighs etc. My art ALWAYS famously features these characteristics, there's always some tummy: Just 4 of the most recent examples here, here, here and here.
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This isn't an attack, but it's important to realise what's "my own headcanon" and what's "canon" before making demands. Headcanons are amazing! and you can always request (or, better: commission) artists to draw your HC! But they're not universally canon. And you should never demand or guilt trip, please.
Sorry for rambling, ig, at least there's some juicy Copia pics to enjoy.
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elliesglock · 15 hours ago
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I hear something totally different in the pookie live…. With the chips, I think Paige is the one bickering with Ice and she says “heyy! Relax… you hear it.” I def think that Paige and Azzi were bickering and getting on each others nerves a little bit… which they love to do because Paige got so pouty when Azzi didn’t text her back. I think,Paige asked Azzi if she was coming to the game, and Azzi goes “uhh huh” (like confirming) and Paige asks Azzi why she didn’t text her back when she asked that, and Azzi says “because I am part of the game” in like a teasing tone. This was I think before the Georgetown game too which makes sense because Azzi was rehabbing at home in DC. Def think they bickered more after because drew muted fast. I think, Paige was mad because Azzi was being indecisive about what she wanted to eat, literally going from having chicken parm at home, to saying a burger sounds good, to talking about cava. Lover girl P was really trying to order something for Azzi, she just loves to feed her girl lol! I think, Paige got more irritated because she went back to ordering five guys when Azzi made a comment “is that Cava?”… I can kind of hear Paige says “don’t talk to me” and Azzi saying “I’m just tryin to see — (insert someone with a name that starts with “m”) and then she says “you can come” to Paige. Paige then goes “it’s ok, imma end my order.” I def think they kissed after that because drew gave ice a look. Then I hear Paige go “ow ouch… I promise” and Azzi goes “but you were wrong though” and then Paige really softly goes “yes” like kind of in a cute pouty tone. Then, I think they kiss again. I don’t really hear the “I love you the most.” That live really shows their dynamic, like Paige gets really soft spoken around Azzi and you can tell that she really likes Azzi’s attention and being around her. Tbh I think Paige was also trying to get Azzi to stay longer by ordering her food because Azzi said after the chicken parm thing that she wasn’t even suppose to be there.
i'm not gonna lie....hearing and listening to what people are saying is not my strong suit 😭 i just kinda guessed what i heard but this seems pretty realistic im glad u can hear better than me. down bad p making an appearance for the what? 12,000th time? she just takes whatever azzi says and it's yes ma'am! no ma'am! which i love. i heard azzi talking about that chicken parm tho lololol. azzi wears the pants and the socks and the shoes btw. paige is really so cocky and intimidating around everyone else but a little teddy bear for azzi it's so adorable. also azzi showing her who's boss im crying. she wanted to make sure p KNEW. she prob hit her or they started play fighting while drew was on mute lol. i love my girls and i love my anons 🤍
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funnier-as-a-system · 1 day ago
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hello there. i am going to remain off of anon for the sake of getting the notification that this was answered.
i am questioning whether or not i am a system. i don’t experience many of the things that my one plural friend(friends?) has asked me if i experience, but i’m not sure if that can actually help me since it’s just one system’s experiences.
i am asking for help in figuring this out. i don’t think i have DID, but i’ve heard that there are other kinds of systems. i have also heard that endogenic systems are harmful to the plural community…? i’m not 100% sure why that would be though.
some of my experiences include: scratches, cuts, bruises, etc that i cannot explain; feeling like i wasn’t at a place that i was supposedly at for a majority of the day (e.g school or work); feeling like i have no memories of my own life, so bad that i can’t remember basic things such as if i took my daily meds or not (even if it was only a few minutes ago); hearing random voices in my head that don’t sound like my own; and so much more that i won’t name here.
i feel like it’s not me being a system, but i honestly have no idea. if you could help me out, that’d be much appreciated. thanks for reading this, and i hope you have a wonderful day/night :)
I'll address your primary concern in a moment, but first I want to clear something up: endogenic systems are not harmful to the plural community. "Endogenic" just means that a system was not formed due to trauma, nothing more. Exclusionists claim that endogenic systems are "harmful", "fake", or "impossible", but there is nothing substantial behind these claims; not only do endogenic systems have a basis in many cultural, spiritual, and religious practices, but many scientists who study plurality, dissociation, and/or dissociative disorders affirm or are open to the existence of endogenic systems. The majority of endogenic systems are kind, well-meaning people like anyone else, and are not out to trick others or spread misinformation (which is another common accusation against endogenic systems). They're just systems whose plurality does not originate from trauma, living their lives and sharing their stories. You're right to be suspicious of that claim you heard, because it's just needless exclusionism that most often arises from hurt people lashing out at a perceived "enemy" to feel some semblance of control, power, or justice in their life. It's a shame, really. I've met so many kind and friendly endogenic systems here on Tumblr and other places, and the plural community has always been an inclusive community!
Onto the rest of your ask.
I'm not sure what questions your friend asked, but based on your experiences, DID doesn't sound too unlikely – especially with how you describe your memory issues. However, I may have to refer you to seeing a psychiatrist or other professional about this. Even if it's not DID, these things sound like they're causing you problems that would be best handled by a professional that knows you personally. DID can be difficult to identify from the individual's perspective, which may explain why you don't feel you have DID, but I am not able to diagnose you – it's just that the things you say remind me of what I and other people with DID experience. I'd recommend seeing someone who specializes in dissociative (and possibly psychotic) disorders to see what can be done to help with the everyday issues and memory problems you're experiencing, or to at least get some answers. Bring a list of these things with you and let them know you're here to get some answers; you can tell them, "Someone I talked to said this sounded like DID, but told me I should see someone to check." ("this" being the list of events/experiences you share with them). Professionals can be hit-or-miss when it comes to these things, but in this case I think that might be the best course of action.
In the meantime, there are plenty of different kinds of systems you can learn about by looking around the community, or specific subcommunities. There's created systems, adaptive systems, spontaneous systems; multiple systems, median systems; polyconscious systems, monoconscious systems; dæmonism or tulpamancy practitioners; there are lots of different terms that people have coined to make sense of their plurality and find people like them. There's essays, articles, blog posts, zines, books, visual artworks, videos, and more. There's forums, Discord servers, Tumblr communities, Reddit subreddits, YouTube channels, Twitch channels, and more. Really, if I went on listing examples, we'd be here forever! The variety of the plural community is one of the things I love about it. Look around for what you like or what interests you, don't feel pressured to relate to or perfectly understand everything, and feel free to lurk if you don't feel like putting yourself out there.
You're right, it can be difficult to figure things out based on one system's experiences. I, too, am just one system, so I encourage you to explore at your own pace and seek a professional opinion when you're ready (and if you think it's necessary). I hope you have a wonderful day/night, too!
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flashyfools · 3 days ago
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Hi 😊👋 I'm a huge fan of Law too. I've just finished reading Law novel too. Maybe you want to share your thoughts on this asks:
Does Law see his crew as subordinates or friends? Would you say that Law has a weakness for people who have a trauma too? 🤔
i'm sure law sees them all as his friends.
at the start of the novel, when law asks bepo, shachi and penguin if they want to stay with him and wolf, it's not because law and wolf actually need someone that can help them with their tasks, it's just because law wants to offer them a safe place to stay, but he's not in touch with his emotions enough to admit it. when he recruits them, he even calls them his subordinates explicitly, but it's clearly just a part of his façade; again, he's not ready to admit he cares about them yet. sure enough, by the end of the first novel, he refers to them as his friends, and has matured enough to admit he loves them and realize that he can count on them. also, the fact law often seems to separate from his crew before he gets into any dangerous situation is kind of relevant to this conversation: he prefers to go solo or to form a temporary alliance with other pirate crews because he doesn't want to put his crew in danger, not because he thinks they aren't strong enough. he always tries to keep his crew safe no matter what, because they're more than allies to him, they're his friends, his family, and the only people he has left. this is also the reason the clash against the blackbeard pirates is so heartbreaking: law tried his best to protect his crew, because he didn't want to, once again, experience the loss of the people he loves most, but he couldn't do anything to prevent it.
i do think law finds himself drawn to other people with trauma, especially if their trauma is in any way related to their families. even though law always tries to hide his actions behind the "i acted on a whim" excuse, it's clear that his empathy gets the best of him when he has to choose whether to recruit someone for his crew. we've seen this with every crew member with a canon backstory: first it was bepo, who set sail to try and find his brother and found himself stranded and alone; then it was penguin and shachi, who lost their families and ended up being used and abused by the adults that should have protected them; and now, in the newest chapter, it's hakugan, who lost his parents and has to bear the responsibility of raising his little sister alone. all of them are scarred and survived multiple traumatic events. law sees his reflection in his crewmates, when he looks into their eyes he can see the little boy he once was, scared, alone and devoid of purpose. that's why he's so determined to help them, and offers them a place in his crew with no hesitation: he wants to be to them what cora was to him, even though he probably doesn't realize it.
thank you so much for your question, anon!
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ghoulfuckersincorporated · 21 hours ago
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It’s me again, the Norm anon. I wanted to build upon your recent comment about Norm and Hank’s dynamic in the show.
The thing that stood out to me in the show was when Hank put Lucy in the little closet when Moldaver and the raiders attacked. He said “you are my world” to her and I immediately thought to myself, well what about, Norm? You have a whole other kid that you don’t seem to be nearly as close to or even worried about after this absolute massacre.
I think he saw Lucy as being the perfect successor of what Vault Tec wanted for their descendants. She followed the rules, was positive to a fault, active and involved in various activities, clubs and the community. Maybe it was also because she reminded him of her mother because despite what all did, he did love her at one point.
Whereas Norm had problems wherever he went seemingly. Despite him having all the real qualities of a Vault Tec employee that you see behind the scenes, pulling the strings: someone who is perceptive, calculating to the point it is almost manipulative and has what it takes to make those gritty decisions that others would be shocked about (i.e. suggesting they kill the remaining raiders).
I honestly think that between Lucy and Norm, he is the one that is most like Hank. The real Hank that was helping take part in this whole Vault Tec experiment.
I just love seeing stuff with the Vaults and their community so it’s a shame that we didn’t get more of Norm in the first season and his dynamic with Lucy and their father. But he will definitely be a big player in the coming season. Definitely underestimated black sheep.
I think you’re gonna be bringing a level of angst and realism to this that’s gonna scream “porn WITH plot.” Super excited.
This got buried underneath newer submissions in the inbox, and I've been whittling away at like ten asks at once, so sorry for the delay in my reply, Anon. I seem to remember this being sent in just a bit before Shoot The Moon came out, so I hope you've gotten a chance to check it out since then! I really am very proud of it.
As to your comments about Norm's dynamic with Hank, I was really excited to dig more into it! I did try to keep it as more of a building, below-the-surface tension for most of the piece, because I wanted the focus to be on the romance and Norm's deep sense of self-doubt (largely accrued through years of being treated as second fiddle or literally forgotten about much of the time). I think that's what their whole relationship would be like: just a shit ton of unspoken resentments on both sides, swallowed down for the sake of nicety and appearances.
That line in the show really sealed that thought for me, honestly. Like, sir, what do you mean she's "your world"? Do you even know where your son is right now? Are you certain he's okay? Lucy was the person who hid Norm away to make sure he was safe because their father was too busy.
Hank absolutely sees Rose in Lucy, we couldn't agree more on that. I'd even go a step further and say that Hank sees Lucy as basically another version of her mother, one who he can control more easily and ultimately utilize for whatever purpose he saw for Rose. I highly doubt Hank MacLean views either of his children as full-fledged, independent people, only as potential means to meet his goals. Therein lies the root of why he treats them so differently; sure he may hug both kids, talk to them both, play dad. How bad would it make him look if he made it blatant just how much he favors one child to the other? He's supposed to be the upstanding leader of the Vault community, so he also has to appear to be the world's best dad.
However, at the end of the day, Norm's not as pliable, and therefore not as useful to Hank. He also isn't especially impressive on any front that his father cares about, so he also has no use for him as a way to make himself look good. Hank is completely blind to the fact that his son is more like him than his daughter will ever be (a dangerous underestimation of how calculating and tactical Norm can be when he really applies himself). Norm is essentially a son-shaped prop Hank trots out when he needs him. Make no mistake, though; the moment Lucy crosses him, she's demoted to the same position in her father's eyes. He only loves Lucy as much as he does because she's like a Rose who follows orders, and we all know what happened to the real Rose when she crossed him.
Like you, I'm definitely hoping to learn more about what folks' living experience in the Vault program is like in season two...honestly, if they're not gonna fill in the holes, I already have a ton of headcanons about Vault life ready to go. Every Vault is different, but it'll be interesting to see if they elaborate on how the "trio of sister Vaults" setup works, or was intended to work.
I hope Shoot the Moon was everything you wanted! I'd love to write more for Norm in the future. You and I seem to have a very similar vision of the MacLean family, so if you ever have more thoughts, don't hesitate to shoot them to me! Thanks for reading!
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ender1821 · 24 hours ago
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re: shinyduo/gempearl being so not normal about each other after life series. other anon was so right why are they freaky.
pearl is definitely just as at fault imo. gem’s excellent at innuendos and tone of voice (“your red skin is my favorite~”) but pearl’s yes and filter falls apart in front of gem. the pickles a prime example, and the ren stream disaster wedding of course. she’s also very genuine and i love that for her. but that results in crazy lines like the “love you gem. always will. even if you dont want me, ill still be there.” TO STREAM WHEN GEM WASNT EVEN THERE.
and i need to mention the latest stream. Pearl “I only get asked if im gay when you’re in the picture” and how they both have to take a minute of silence to process that flejelejwkej. whose fault is that pearl? whose fault ?? to her credit she seems genuinely confused by the extent of her actions. the most damning evidence for her straightness i fear. rip gem though, she seems to be having fun anyway.
theyre both professionals and follow up in that stream with how the fandom will always play around with them as characters etc etc. good communication, very healthy, good for them. but this post is about why they graduated from shenanigans and innuendos to 2 hours of fanservice and it doesn’t even feel intentional half the time.
as for next life series, i would be shocked if they didn’t keep up this befuddling yuri bit. theyve mentioned seeing all the tierlist maker dream team posts and pearl had to ask her chat “OTHER than gem, who should I team with” so theyre well aware demand is there. theyre fantastic as enemies and well aware of that, but they could get some scarian level drama by teaming together, and i dont say that lightly. since pearl keeps stalling pvp on hermitcraft, theyre never getting that 1v1 without cosmic intervention or a declaration of love 😭
rambling now. love to hear your thoughts xoxo
yippee i love anon rambles!!! im glad we’re all unwell
im NOT gonna go on another rant about the life series alliance situation because as i’ve just demonstrated yesterday i can literally rant. for hours. and we don’t need that lmao. at this point whether or not they team up in the next one SOMETHING will happen. i have that much faith in them. they’re bound to run into each other and do something and that’s the shiny duo connection speaking god bless
like the other anon said, i do think they can work with just about any dynamic and it’ll be insanity-inducing either way. one of my favourite things about them just as a pairing (in any context, platonic, romantic, etc.) is just the way they will drift towards one another, to be linked in a way that’s indescribable, to always carry a piece of each other with themselves wherever they wander because the influence they’ve had on the other is irrefutable— and okay yeah they’re getting way too freaky about it get out of my fan fiction-esque rant. what are you doing here. why are you like this. what. like there’s something going on when what they’re getting up to creeps more and more into being what i usually read in fics. i. hello???
i really, really want to give them the benefit of the doubt. okay. listen. for every mention of feet and poking at pearl’s straightness, there’s a chat message behind it that warranted it, i’m sure. this isn’t the post to be getting into how fans are with cc boundaries and how we’re STILL bad at figuring our tags out, but i feel like this discussion eventually HAS to touch on the fact that it’s been made clear that they don’t want to see shipping stuff, and bringing it up in chat crosses that boundary just as well. i think they’ve handled it well in acknowledging that they’re aware it’s for their characters, drawing clear lines between what they’re comfortable with and what they’re not, etc. i think just the muddled lines from people continuously bringing stuff from a fandom space up to a cc contributes a lot to why we got. whatever happened on that wednesday stream. honestly, from these instances on stream i think it’s been shown that they just find this stuff amusing, and good for them, y’know? still doesn’t mean we should be regularly poking them about ships and. well. i dunno. literally bringing it up in chat?
but still. BUT STILL. god the ways they “yes, and” each other just keep getting worse. stuff like the pickles and the wedding (and the SL ep 4 ender dragon fight! still one of the most baffling “yes, and”s i’ve ever seen from them, i swear to god) were almost completely just them. that was just them. there’s no blaming chat for gem saying “wait, i don’t have a beard” right after pearl rejects ren for having a beard, and CERTAINLY NOBODY ELSE TO BLAME when pearl takes that and literally proposes to her. that was all them. and why. girl. huh??? i do believe, at least to some extent, that pearl is oblivious to the implications of what she does/says. but that only goes so far. sorry man i can only give so much benefit of the doubt for like 2-3 streams of 2 hour fan service. good lord
i was texting a friend who isn’t into mcyt about this whole. thing. and the way i described it was: imagine being a gempearl shipper, and you’re enjoying life, driving this train with fanfics and fanart and everything’s all good… and then for some reason gem and pearl jump on the train, hijack the conductor seat and starts directing the train elsewhere. nearing the end of that stream i was questioning my life and screaming for a way off this train. that’s how it felt to me. of course i’m exaggerating but like. genuinely how did we get here
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blushblushbear · 3 days ago
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I drunk wayy too much last night and sent a barrage of drunken texts and voice messages to some of my best friends. I'm beyond embarrassed, they're so embarrassing oml. To heal from this pain I'll never recover from, how bout a few of the boys reacting to all that
I think in generally the boys just kind of find it funny, but for details
Nimh: okay, Nimh's actually a little worried, comes over the next day, if not that night, and brings a hang over kit with him
Volks: thinks they're kinda funny but is also a little worried. Checks on you first thing. Ends up leaving then coming back with a bunch of stuff for your hang over and a change of clothes so he can stay the night
Kelby: thinks it's funny until you text him the next day feeling so sick, then he's over there with so much water and gatorade
Eli: He's in the messages with you don't even pretend. He's right in all those selfies, in every embarrassing voicemail, and when you wake up hung over he's right there next to you ordering mcdonalds breakfast cause y'all need some grease, carbs and coffee
Anon: sticks on the phone with you but uses his hacking skills to watch and make sure you get home safe. Also calls you the next day and teases you about last night. You're about to hang up on him when he tells you to open your door, and you open it to find he's sent a bunch of stuff to help you feel better
Garret: very confused, very concerned, you wake up in his arms and he spends the rest of the day taking care of you
Dmitri: weirdly thinks they're charming, also comes over to help you take care of your hang over
Ichiban: thinks about posting it online, thinks better of it, still saves it for giggles, checks in on you all the next day
William: ends up coming out and finding you, takes you home, gives you water and some food and helps put you to bed
Myx: very amused, calls to check on you the next morning
Stirling: ABSOLUTELY entertained. Finds it HILARIOUS. Calls you the next morning and asks how that darling head of yours is feeling in the most teasing way
Scale: gets your messages, gets concerned, ends up stalking you the whole night to make sure you get home safe
Sven: Sends back things that are just as embarrassing even though his ass is sober lol
Cole: finds it funny blackmail. Still gets concerned, ends up stalking you, 'bumps into you', escorts you home and reveals in getting to take care of you, very doting, very sweet, probably takes more pictures for his own collection when you're out cold
Poe: laughs a bit at your message, calls the next day to check up on you, doesn't bring up or mention the messages, if you bring them up he slyly says 'oh I didn't read them all the way through, was there something in them??' like a liar
Cashew: feels for your embarrassing solidarity cause he has DEF done the same. comes and checks up on you the next day, does not bring up the messages at all
Seth: Thinks it's the funniest shit he's ever see, comes and checks on you at the crack of dawn the next morning, teasing you about everything you said, all the while taking care of you
Logan: He's not immediately worried but he does know being too drunk is how the worst stories of nights out begins, so he keeps in touch until you get home, comes over the next morning to make sure you're good
Reece: Is so confused. Is this normal for earthlings?? it's kinda funny. is probably going to come over and ask a bunch of follow up questions
Aki: Wants to be respectful but lord he thinks the videos you sent were so funny. That being said he does come check on you and help you nurse that hangover. He promises he'll only chuckle a little.
Haru: A mix of thinking it's funny but also making sure you're texting back and forth until he finds you. Joins in the party for a bit then takes you home and gives you the best hangover nursing EVER (he knows what it's like)
Fuyu: Is also confused. Doesn't know how to respond like--- ACTUALLY, how do I reply to texts??? ends up calling you a dozen times before just coming over and making sure you're okay
Ace: a little amused, a little worried, constantly texting you throughout the night till you get home, comes over to take care of you the next day
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stormyoceans · 2 years ago
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GOOD MORNING I'M SO READY TO DESCENT INTO MADNESS WITH YOU I CANNOT WAIT FOR PUENTALAY TO RETURN TO US <3 what is top three things that you want to to see in their our skyy ep the most?
HELLO FRIEND IT’S GONNA BE AN HONOR TO LOSE OUR MIND TOGETHER!!!!!!!!
bold of you to presume i can pick only three (3) things i want to see in the vice versa episodes tho I HAVE A WHOLE LIST AND A BINGO CARD HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE!!!!!!! but okay, let me see what i can do:
1) BEACH WEDDING. listen i know it’s not gonna happen but also what if IT DOES im actualizing im manifesting im rearraging reality im speaking it into existence i’ve planted that seed and i will see the harvest i have a vision board on pinterest and im making it happen through the sheer power of delusion and clownery alone!!!!!! i’d be more than okay with a private rings and vows exchange with only the sky and the sea as their witnesses AS LONG AS THEY GET OUT OF THESE EPISODES MARRIED THEN IM GONNA BE ECSTATIC AND I SHALL NEVER ASK FOR MORE. however, im not gonna be too disappointed if it doesn’t happen as long as we get……
2) DOMESTIC FLUFF GALORE. i don’t wanna see any angst or sadness in these episode i only want tenderness adoration reverence devotion LOVE THE LIKES OF WHICH HAS NEVER BEEN PORTRAYED IN TELEVISION HISTORY, i want puentalay watching movies with puen resting his head on talay’s lap and talay stroking his hair, i want them bathing and cooking together with talay drying puen’s hair and puen feeding talay, i want them slow dancing in their living room with the light of the sunset coming through the windows, i want them falling asleep every night holding each other and waking each other up every morning with soft kisses, i want them wearing each other’s clothes, i want hugging and haldholding, i want hand kisses and forehead kisses and cheek kisses and sniff kisses and quick pecks and deep make out sessions, i want parallelism romanticism soulmatism, I WANT TO HAVE AN ENTIRE MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS INTERVENTION TEAM HOLDING ME DOWN AND TRYING TO SEDATE ME BY THE TIME I GET TO THE END OF THESE EPISODES
3) i honestly could put a number of different specific things here (like talay being more open with his affections and shy!puen), but i think im gonna go with puen and talay being surrounded by the love of their friends and family. of course im glad that they have each other, but they also had to sacrifice a lot when they decided to get back to their universe, so i really want to see how their friendship with tup and tou has grown, and idk if we’re gonna get this because i don’t think we saw them on set, but i also would love to see gyo being close to puen and talay’s mom doting on him too
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signanothername · 3 days ago
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I'm thinking about that remark color had told killer, in the comic where he couldn't move. That Killer has so much love to give. I think that's true based on killer's behavior.
With cross it's especially evident, I see traces of it with killer's other interactions as well.
To killer, who is a creature who had only been beholden to the harsh rules of Survival for so long it's weaves throughout everything that he is, to teach someone how to survive is a genuine act of care from him (even if he doesn't realize it).
It is not pretty or nice or even healthy. But to "teach" someone these rules he had to learn himself, in far more horrifc ways than he displays, seems like it's coming from a tender place in him. It's almost gentle the way he treats them compared to how nightmare or chara treated himself.
Like with Cross when they saw nightmare in the forest. Killer demonstrated proper behavior for someone "higher" than him, to show his belly and submit, because those are the only real options for survival here. Nightmare has killed him before and can most certainly do it again. He chastised Cross for his "incorrect" display. When he gave Cross his first strike, it was a lesson, that there is always consequences to an action. It doesn't matter if killer and him were friendly. Killer is above him physicality wise, he can and will inact punishment. You can't afford to be wrong in your risk assessment and blindly emotional if you are going survive.
Anyone can hurt you at anytime. There are creatures who lie and cheat and steal, so you have to be better at it then them. Take the dirty punches. Bite the hand that feeds if need be. It doesn't matter what you do as long as it keeps you alive.
All the while the sentiment shines through (I want you to live. I care about you enough to teach you how to live when I'm not here. Keep yourself safe, even if it's from me.)
It's not black and white. Nothing ever is. Abuse is abuse even if it's from good intentions but you can't deny that the love was never there. Both love and LoVe.
Context 1, context 2
You get it Anon, THANK YOU
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Y’know, I haven’t really shown it properly yet, but this behavior will also be very evident when it comes to Murder and Horror
Killer acts as the right hand man to Nightmare, and while a lot of the time he’s very much an asshole with Murder and Horror, he definitely does “teach” them how to survive too, not necessarily out of genuine care for them, but instinctively, as well as the fact any “improper” behavior by them, can be used against him by Nightmare any time, in the sense of “it’s your job to make sure they behave”
You can see how that carries out to a time when Killer is finally out no? >:)
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necrotic-nephilim · 4 months ago
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in lieu of having posted any writing/headcanons/asks in the past few days because i have been *so* busy and unable to do anything fandom-related which is terrible and evil, i have a poll out of morbid curiosity and self-indulgence. i've been meaning to ramble here about how i feel about DC's lack fo Deaf representation and which Batfam members i would personally make Deaf, but i am mildly curious about the larger opinion and now i will subject you all to the question, i would love to hear thoughts/opinions/headcanons on any specific choices. (would love d/Deaf/HoH opinions esp but i'm mostly expecting this to reach the hearing crowd, so opinions from hearing ppl are ones i'm very curious about. if you've never given it thought before you are going to now or else /lh)
#necrotic nuisance#<- new tag for nonserious shit like this#batfamily#batclan#deafculture#i think not including bruce in this poll bc i ran out of options is *so* fucking funny so i'm keeping it#bc realistically i could bump off more tertiary characters like harper or jpv to include him#but i won't.#hearing people are seriously invited to reblog and share opinions or headcanons i'm so genuine#just like. behave about it.#i have personal headcanons but i will save sharing them until the poll is finished#as not to skew results#i also have a hunch on who will lead. based on popular headcanons i see#but i will also not share that as to not skew it#i'm using the Deaf identity as an umbrella term that can include Hard of Hearing as well btw#so if your headcanon is more HoH leaning it is counted#i do believe this is something most fans haven't rlly thought about#but i *really* want to write fics with Deaf rep and i have been waffling on who to make Deaf#so. this poll is also a field test of who you would like to see me (a Deaf bitch) write as Deaf.#and i totally pinky promise not to project super duper hard on them. (i'm so lying)#i will get back to writing and the ask games i promse!#tomorrow i have the day off after 4 bc someone else is watching the baby so ic can just chill#also *please please* if you have disabled headcanons for any batfam (or DC in general) character#send them to me. i want to see them. i would love to talk about them with you.#as an anon ask as a message as a reblog idc#gimme.#this isn't my usual content but shhh lemme be self indulgent.#both bc i'm curious and bc i wanna write Deaf shit so. we take a break from my usual nonsense for this.#i'll post writing tomorrow to make up for it#also i have to remind myself this is my blog i can do what i want with and not just be a content machine. yk
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wellfine · 8 months ago
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Hey I found ur art uncredited on tik Tok
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMreQSnaw/
They said they "found it on Reddit" so they just decided to steal it and post it ig?? Ugh!!
Wow, that's a whole other repost to the one I thought it was going to be, lol. It's been reposted to TikTok once before, and I'm also not surprised this person got it from Reddit, where I doubt I was credited either.
At the end of the day I appreciate the heads up but there's nothing I can really do about it. The most helpful thing anyone can do is to leave comments on the reposts to provide credit,* because if artists ever try and comment then we pretty invariably get attacked. Don't be mean or aggressive, that just builds their animosity towards the artists, but I do think people respond positively to outside pressure to do the right thing 🤷
*Remember to make sure there's enough context - eg. something like "art by @ landegart on Twitter" is more searchable/useful than "artist is Landeg" to someone on TikTok who has no idea who I am haha
#this comic has been reposted A Lot and I appreciate people keeping me in the loop but it's just wearing me down#I can't do much about it and I'd rather just ignore it rather than spend time thinking about it#especially when people get into arguments with them on my behalf and now suddenly I'M the one catching heat#like it's been reposted a couple of times to twitter too and when people tell them to credit me-#-the reposters call *me* a bitch like. I'm not even there any more you're arguing with the wall#anyway. it makes me happy to see people politely but firmly crediting artists in the comments section :) thank you!#also it's kind of interesting that the conversation has become entirely about credit. when I don't want it reposted WITH credit either#I just don't want my art reposted to sites like reddit or tiktok at all. if I wanted it there I'd share it there myself#and the fact that I don't says a lot about what kind of communities those places have fostered#there's a reason like zero artists use reddit to share their own work even though it's a pretty big platform#anyway that part isn't @ you at all anon thank you for your message & keeping me informed#it's more just how the conversation has gradually shifted from 'reposting is bad' to 'reposting without credit is bad'#i understand that it's because we can't stop people from reposting so it's basically the most we can ask for. but still#and make sure you guys aren't following reposters here on Tumblr. even a lot of the ones who say they get permission just lie lol
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ratatatastic · 2 months ago
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do you write fic on ao3?
unfortunately for everyone involved i do!
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#ask#and if youre wondering about my handle i write on anon so its doesnt particularly matter (shrugs)#and also i think its pretty easy to figure out which fics ive written because i want to makeout mad sloppy style with an em dash#anyways (waves offhandely) it doesnt really matter much because i have like posted an ss on here before so you know#its not like im trying to hide it like eh#but also because of my disposition that would put a tranced rabbit to shame i dont exactly yell it from the hilltops either#the moral of the story is if you ask me what im working on ill yap about it maybe like post an excerpt#and months later youll find something posted on anon and youll be like oh! so they finally posted it!#so to spare you all (lies on my tummy like we're at a sleepover and giggles) you wanna hear what im working on#haha of course you do youre a prisoner in my yap box#and i want an excuse to talk about it hidden in the tags so people skim over it and not read it <3#SO the earliest wip is from like early october about a magical realism au because i rewatched lwa as i usually do and well theres this one#ep about a magical animal if you will... and you can kinda guess what it is from that lol its sashaforsyekky#because the dreaded @/tungpin infected me with the brainworms about this trio specifically#and it really is ekky going 🥺 at whatever sashaforsy have (persumably) got going on woe is him its at 5k rn but uh ive stalled progress#because puppyekky has consumed my every thought which leads me to my second wip that ive been labouring over since the start of october#that also just broke 5k and not even remotely done lol whoops but its puppy ekky in a team environment with a heavy emphasis on the euros#rn there are scenes scrabbled out with sasha (multiple) mikksy luosty lundy and forsy. i know i have an idea for bobby.#and really lets see where the muse takes us i have vague ideas that are mmmhmm but we'll see when we get there!#the third one isnt the most likely to get finished but uh it is sashamaffhew global series stuff because it stemmed from#“it really is funny that sasha is treating the finland trip like he knocked up a girl#and is trying to make her meet his parents so it doesnt feel like a shotgun wedding when he you know marries her to take responsibility“#and i just think a maffhew pov with that thought in mind because of the whole touchy at e11even thing is funny to me like think mundane#slice of life oh i feel like im being wined and dined i hope i dont fuck it up jfc i think im fucking it up oh god this feels romantic#anyways it feels remotely ooc to me and it really was more of like a writing break from the wips stated above so (shrugs)#might not see the light of day but its 2k as of now so i do feel its a shame if i dont /try/ to finish it you know? its just low priority#anyways thats my writing check in and i am a prisoner to my own mind i will go insane haha these wont be published anytime soon#because i am slow and get distracted soooo easily so you know <3
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