#but also was super shy and mean oftentimes and got cranky as soon as I didn’t do something she wanted and that built my people pleasing
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#if you’re a friend read at your own risk/don’t read/keep this to yourself please#maybe m trauma stems from elementary school where I was a high achiever who also had trouble studying which nobody really took notice of#and drove me crazy but I needed to be the best in school since people also liked me a lot but then also came#my then best friend who was jealous of me and treated me like crap because she had severe anger issues#due to her having had severe trauma right before school started for all of us and she let it all out on me and felt ignored by everyone#but also was super shy and mean oftentimes and got cranky as soon as I didn’t do something she wanted and that built my people pleasing#tendencies but also I didn’t read Harry Potter so she bonded with another girl who she gossiped about but they played Harry Potter and I#didn’t know it and didn’t read it cause what is paying money for expensive books in this household and then she got mad because I didn’t#play with them idk how I started that sentence but then she got mad and I constantly#constantly#at this young age felt bad for my existence#it was the first time my mind perceived life as hard#because I didn’t know how to handle this friendship and being scared of hurting the other when the other was already hurt but hurting too#she’s a sweetheart today#why didn’t I tell anyone that focusing on school was hard and studying at home was harder
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