eclectiquesdotorg-blog

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Awfully sad when you look back at your life, and this is what you see.

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I don't even know what "ok" feels like.

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Forty Year Sentence In My Own Mind

Most won’t understand, a few may…..

I will start by saying, today I am a man of 57. Lived a little life, if I say so myself. I am blessed with a wonderful daughter, a Son in law who loves my daughter, and two beautiful grand daughters. Been divorced once, and widowed today. Actually, tomorrow would have been my wife’s 53rd birthday. She took her life just over three years ago. Two of her three children, pretty much did the same. I will go into all of that overtime. My Tale of Woe: A Predator, he was indeed. Son of a Bitch. If memory serves me, I was 12 going on 13. Maybe I was 13. Fatherless, and needing that Male role model all young boys need. Well, I found mine, in my English teacher. As a younger man, he played some Semi Pro Baseball. Six foot plus he was. Towering over me. At 13, I think I worshiped the ground he walked on. Sometime during the course of the school year, he ask that I take some “tests”, answer some questionnaires he needed for his night schooling. Again, I was honored that he chose me. In the process of filling out his questionnaires, etc; I had questions. There were a lot of big words that I had never heard, or simply didn’t know what they were all about. One of those words: masturbation, and many many more. All pertaining to sex. Well, I asked, and he was happy to explain. Explain he did….. Eventually, “tryouts” are coming up for the school baseball team. Guess who the Coach is…… Coincidentally, I would make the team. I would be the last guy to make the team. Was I good enough? I don’t believe I was.I sit here, angry, frustrated, and have paid the utmost price for the liberties the Child Predator (That man I idolized, my English teacher, my Baseball Coach) did take as he saw fit. Did he hurt others, the ways he did me? I don’t know. I never will. For twenty some odd years, I repressed it all. I do know, within 12 months I had picked up drugs and alcohol. With the drugs and alcohol I coped. But, I didn’t.

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Check out this item in my Etsy shop

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Brand New to Tumblr, Help.  Lol

Good Morning from the smallest state. Rhode Island, of course.  Soon to be inundated with snow.  Born and bread a Bostonian, actually.  Like the title reads, new to Tumblr, new to Etsy, and I know nothing, per se, about Social Media.