#but also very relaxing for me lover of rain and wind and storms.

[badolmen]

oooo we flickering

[little-dragon-stories]

It took me too much time

A friends to lover journey for Jiyong and Y/n. Here’s how it all began.

Warning: Smut, language, cuteness overload. Oooh, in the smut part, there is a bit of masochism (not to an extreme, it’s cute. Said in another way, she loves it when it hurts a bit), outdoor sex.  Also, a big fear of storms, the mention of a fire.

W.C. 17796 (of pure hapiness... it made me very happy to write it <3)

Personal note: This is one of my fav gif of Ji. Let’s pretend that it’s him as he’s having a good time with his best friend, okay? Okay!

Sorry for that title and description, I didn’t know how to name it until now, LMAO.

Hopefully, you will love this one. It’s cute, sexy, funny. There is angst too.

Here it is

A double date, 5 years ago.

You were not sure if it was a good idea but you couldn’t refuse to go. It was a gift on a silver plate for your friend, more likely your favorite co-worker. Jiyong had agreed to go on a date with her but at one condition: it had to be a double date. Apparently, his friend Seunghyun was head over toes for you and was too shy to ask you out. It was the perfect occasion for Jiyong, maybe he would get some and his friend would have a chance to meet the girls he was silently in love with.  Well, most precisely, to have a complete conversation instead of the formalities you exchanged when you served him at the café.

You were working in a café where the boys came to relax and eat after their practice At the time they came, the café was almost emptied from the patreons.  They were the best friends in the world, bandmates working hard to pursue their dream in the music industry. They had made their debut a while ago and the reactions were enthusiastics. The press had good reviews of their albums and the fan base grew. They were starting big.

“It will be fun,” she said, “believe me, Seunghyun is such a cutie pie, a perfect match for you. Plus, you never went on a double date before so you can’t tell me that you don’t like it”.

“Okay but I’m only doing it for you. You owe me one girl...”

This is when you had met Seunghyun and Jiyong and got to have a real conversation with them. During the date, your friend was drooling in front of Jiyong, drinking each one of his words, a slanted smile across her face. It was cutely pathetic to witness.  

Because you weren’t in a place in your life to have a boyfriend, you made it clear with Seunghyun that it would not be possible. Oh! perfect he was! He had a beautiful face, a sharp sense of humor, a deep voice and a tender smile. He was just magnificent.  It could have worked, under different circumstances. It really could have.

When it was time to split and as much as they didn’t seem to fit together, Jiyong and your friend decided that they wanted to pursue the night together. Seunghyun had dropped you to your place, you exchanged phone numbers before you left his car. You didn’t fall for him the way he wanted but at least, he was a good person and you were willing to get to know him better, as a friend.

Even though the evening turned out to be a flop on the romantic level, something wonderful came of it. Your friendship with Jiyong and somehow with Seunghyun too. Just for that, the double date was more than worth it.

Present day

“Earth to the moon! 1.2, 1.2! There’s distortion on the line” Jiyong mocked.

“Sorry, I was thinking… Do you remember the first time we met?”

"Oooh! You mean the night I had the worst sex ever with that annoying bartender?”

“Damn boy, don’t be so mean. That poor girl did her best! She was probably so stressed to be in front of you. You were already a sex symbol back then!”

“True, I was undeniably sexy already” he said, shaking his butts but realizing what he just did, his cheeks turned pink.

Both of you laughed. You have lost your friendship with her the day Jiyong broke up with her, 2 weeks after the double date. Because you continued to talk to him, she cut you off of her life, telling you that you were not “on her side”. The last time you heard about her, she had divorced from her husband and was dating an old but rich CEO. She didn’t change at all, bitch was a sucker for money and status.

“Still Ji, you got to know me that night! You won in the long run, man!” you said, proudly flipping your hair.

“Aww! You’re so cute” he cooed, “True! What would I do without that adorable friend of mine that crashes my sofa each time they announce a storm” he said piling up the plates that had dried on the kitchen counter.

“Hey, it scares me okay?”

“Oh! I know you are scared but what the fuck am I suppose to do to protect you? I can’t stop the lightning from falling over your head!”

“YAH! You’re supposed to help me calm down! Not to scare the shit out of me!”

“Girl, you are so much cuter when you don’t have that badmouth!”

“I don’t want to be cute Ji! I just don’t want to die tonight! Did you see the sky? It’s gonna be hell of a storm, I’m telling you” you pointed to the window to mark your point.

“I hope we’ll survive!” he teased. He came closer to you and kissed your temple while one of his hands rested on your shoulder in a protective way. “At least you bought sushi! If we die tonight, it will be with a filled tummy. I have a new wine that will be perfect with it, too”.

“Ji, I don’t like it at all. I’m really scared. Don’t mock me”.

“I know, love! I’m just teasing you”.

Fun fact, you were not that scared of the storm anymore. Well, you were still scared but not petrified like you used to be. But because you had that habit of crashing his sofa and getting those nights in each time there was an appearance of a storm, you neglected to specify it to your friend.

“Anyway, I hope I didn’t ruin your plans. You can go, if you have a date you didn’t tell me about or something”.

“Nah, I have nothing to do that cannot be done from here, maybe just a little work.  Plus, I have to protect you from the lightning with my super powers! What would you do without me?” he giggled.

You smiled at him tenderly. Jiyong was such a wonderful person. You were more than happy that you had the chance to call him your friend. He always had your back and you always had his. It was like that, you two against the world.  For some reasons, each time something happens to one of you, the other would automatically feel it and call right away. It was like a premonition, a soulmate thing. It made you both smile and care for the other even more. 

Of course, when one of you was in a relationship things got complicated. Your partners didn’t always understand that need you both have to call each other on a daily basis. “If she/he is so important to you, why don’t you marry her/him”? You both heard that often.

“Awww! You’re my personal superhero! I like that! By the way, before you arrived, I filled your fridge with side dishes and lunch boxes. I cooked for myself, so I brought you some”.

“You’re a bad liar, missy. You cooked for us, not for yourself only. You even bought us matching lunch boxes last month”

“True… I cooked for the both of us! And true, I bought it knowing it was matching, I couldn’t resist! Don’t make a big deal out of it, it was just too cute. Instead of a bff bracelet, we have bff matching lunch boxes” you exclaimed.

“Aaaaaw! Finally, you admit it was made to match! Thanks hun, I love the boxes and I love even more the food that you put in it”.

“My pleasure Mr Kwon! Let’s shower before it rains”

“ Why do you keep saying that?”

“It’s common sense and commun knowledge that you can’t shower or bathe when it rains in case there will be a storm, okay? I’ll go first”.

You ran to the bathroom before he had the time to argue. You knew what he was about to say anyway. He told you many times but you were still really scared of it. When you were a teenager, lightning crashed a utility pole near your house, causing an electrical fire. The strong winds had pushed the flames and your house was set on fire despite the heavy rain. It all happened while you were in the shower. That night, you were babysitting your little brother and you had to evacuate the house in a towel with him in your arms. The bad association of shower and strom had stuck in your head even though there was nothing dangerous for real. You were doing your best and you were fighting against your fear with all the courage that you had, but you still had to work more. 

You turned the water off, got out of the luxurious shower and sighted with ease when your feet landed on the fluffy bath mat. Caressing the soft fabric with your toe, you wonder if you were walking on something that was worth more than the price of your car!

“Jiiiiii! Jiyong!" when he didn’t answer the tenth time you called out his name, you went out of the bathroom. You were wrapped in his bathrobe with your hair raised in a white towel  “Where the hell are you?” you called out.

“YAH! Don’t swear love. It’s not cute” He was adding the dressing on top of a roasted veggies salad he just fixed for you. He didn’t like it but he knew it was your favorite. Therefore, he always kept the ingredients in his fridge to be able to serve you one. That and your favorite chocolate, your favorite champagne and wine, your favorite ice cream and so much more little things that you cherish. 

“I don’t need to be cute because you already are whipped for me. Plus, I’m not your girl, so cute or not, you’re not supposed to care!”

“What are you saying? You’re the cutest girl of them all, why can’t you see it? You’re my sweet but bad mouthed girl”. 

At that moment, he lifted his head and noticed how you were dressed. More likely, not dressed, in front of him. You were so cute with your concerned face, frowning with an obvious concern written on your face. He turned his head to look the other way around, covering his eyes with one hand and blushing shyly.

“I’m sorry I took your bathrobe but you were not answering me”.

“I didn’t hear you, what is it that you had to come here naked?”

“I’m not naked, relax for god’s sake! Plus a body is a body, we’re all constructed on the same pattern. So please, just calm down”.

“I can’t relax. You’re naked in front of me”

“Not naked, Sweet baby Jesus. You wanna see what naked really is?” You teased, toying with the knot of the dressing gown. Of course you would never open it and flash your naked body to him like that but he was annoying with his conservative ass and you felt a little bit provocative.

“Yah! Keep it for your man, you naughty!”

“Jesus Christ… I won’t undress, take it easy. Anyway, I’m done with the shower. I just wanted to tell you that it’s your turn. Go, before the storm starts, it’s so dark it will soon. I’ll get dressed in your room, okay?”.

Uncomfortable, he didn’t argue and ran into the shower.

He didn’t like to see you undressed, for some reasons. He was always telling you “love, can you buy longer skirts next time?”, “A bikini, are you kidding me? Why not a normal one piece swimsuit?”, “Please Y/n, don’t walk around the house in just a towel”. Jiyong had a vision of nudity that was beyond your comprehension. You never saw each other naked, that goes without saying. And of course, you never complied to his demands, telling him that you were not more or less dressed than other women of your age, which was true. You were not wearing revealing clothes anyway, he was just too old fashion.  Maybe you were pushing it with the towel thing but hey! He was even worse than you, walking in his briefs way more often than you were ‘indecent’ yourself.

When he came out of the shower, you had comfortably draped your neck with a long scarf. You were wearing a Bigbang crop top with the inscription 'V.I.P for life" and short shorts that you wore to sleep only. A long cream cardigan buttoned up to your chin covered it all. You knew you wouldn’t need more clothes to stay warm, you had a big blanket resting on the armrest of his couch. 

You finished assembling the plates with the sushi, served yourself an extra big portion of his salad and put it all on the coffee table in the living room. The wine and the bottle opener were waiting on the table with some nachos, salsa and candies for later. It was usually sitting on the floor with your back leaning against the sofa as you started the evening. Normally you weren't able to finish a movie because one or the other often fell asleep before the end. More likely, it was him that fell asleep. Then, you would always gently slide his head on a small cushion over your thighs and stroke his hair. At the end of the film, you never had the courage to wake him up, you knew that his sleep was precious and that he often suffered from insomnia. You let him in the same position and fell asleep with your head uncomfortably leaned against the couch. In the morning, he had moved and would be in a different position, on the floor. You didn’t know that he never realised the scalp and head massages. Tonight, he will notice though.

Jiyong had the bad idea to put a horror movie at night like this one, when you were already nervous. He didn’t think twice, as soon as the movie you wanted to watch for so long was out, he bought it for you. He was not a bit interested in it but he knew you would be happy.

 “Tadam,” he cutely said when the title appeared on the screen. 

“Oh, thanks Ji, you remembered”.

“Duh! Of course, you kept rambling about it for days” he teased.

“I’m happy, at least I’ll be scared for something else than the storm. It’s perfect”.

The movie had started and really soon, Jiyong knew that he wouldn’t make it through the end.

It was the thunder that awakened him. There was rain, lightning and strong winds outside. Despite the storm roaring, he felt enveloped in a big comforting bubble, cocooned under a blanket like a burrito. Above all, the familiar and comforting smell, your smell, that shielded him with security and pure happiness. He felt as if he was in a dream. He was too comfortable to open his eyes but he knew his head was on your thighs and it was your hands on his neck.

Your hands… on his neck!  

You had slipped your fingers under his nape, cupping it, your thumbs resting gently on his throat. He felt vulnerable but yet, secure at the same time. He felt raw, in the most beautiful and pure way.  He recognised your scent, your warmth, your breathing. What was he doing, lying on you like that? He wasn’t sure but he never felt like home more than right now. A little confused, he opened his eyes and analysed his surroundings.

You were concentrated on what was happening to the screen, softly murmuring advice to the characters in order to, as far as he could tell, not being murdered with a chainsaw.  

“Stupid, stupid, stupid… Girl, at this point it will be natural selection… See, I told you! You deserved it, not gonna lie”

Jiyong smiled at your cuteness. This is when he felt your hands start to move on his neck.Your fingers were making a gentle downward pressure close to the base of the skull, you were stretching his neck muscles and it was orgasmic. He said nothing, did nothing and even stopped thinking. He refrained himself from groaning with pure happiness.

“See what you did there? How could you take such a dumb decision” still talking to the television. He wouldn’t be surprised if you start to throw food at the screen!

In this position, he could see you from a new angle. A “from above’ angle that gave him dirty thoughts. In a split second, that tender moment turned into a hunger. An intense impulse that he felt quite often recently. An unbearable desire combined with an impulse of the heart. It was a strange feeling, he had never felt like that before. 

If he turned his face 90 degrees and went just a few centimeters down, he would be right at the good place to please you with his tongue and lips and fingers… Just the thought of it made blood boil.

“Woah Kwon Jiyong! Stop it!” he thought for himself. “Are you so horny that you will try to hit on your sweet best friend and ruin 5 years of a solid friendship? Damn it boy!” But also, dirty things happened between you, once. Maybe it was possible again… But was it what he wanted, a one shot deal? He was quite not sure about it. 

Before he could stop his hormones from increasing, he felt his blood run directly to his crotch. He was so hard, it was almost as if all the blood contained in his body had decided to meet there. Your fingers continued to massage his neck, stretching the muscles, putting some pressure on different spots. You were completely unaware of his state, naive little creature that you were.

It could have been a perfect blissful moment but his fucking dick had interrupt. He knew it was unfair to stay like that, to let you massage him with the effect it had on the south direction his blood was taken. So, he took one of your hands and kissed your fingers before he sat up.

“Oooh, sleepy head. You’re awake?” you smiled at him with that beautiful smile of yours. You were not wearing any makeup, your hair was messy and your clothes didn’t match but you were just perfect like that. You had the most beautiful face he never saw in his life. How come he didn’t realise it sooner?.

“Hum mmm. You love the movie?” he placed a cushion on his middle to hide his erection.

“It’s good, yes! Are you okay? You’re pale!”

“Not surprising, the blood has left my head!”

“What? You have a headache?”

“Forget it. I’ll fresh up a bit. Be right back” 

He used to good advantage the fact that your attention was again turned towards the screen.  He got up in a hurry, hiding what he had to hide. He went to the bathroom and cleaned his face to cool down. Looking inside his briefs, he sighted! 

“Fuck you Kwon Jiyong! Fuck! Fuck! What’s your problem? She’s your friend, dammit! She is just a sweet and cute girl. What’s happening to me recently? Why have I started to dream of her? Why did I start longing for her? What are those bubbly sensations that I feel when she’s coming home to me?”.

Recently, he had noticed that not only his body reactions were different but that his emotions had changed as well. That he was more and more happy to see you. That he had way more thoughts about you than he used to. To a point that he even refused a date with an interesting woman just to be able to call you on time, just because he had said “I’ll call you before 9”. He said it, he had to comply, right? What did you talk about? Sweet nothings but it was still a wonderful moment. He allowed himself a few moments for the blood gathered in his penis to turn back. He had a crazy hard time getting there. 

Having the sensation that he was not feeling good, that something was not okay, you paused the movie and walked towards the bathroom. 

“Do you need something Jiyong? You are really pale, I’m not joking. It seems like you have seen a ghost” you said as soon as he opened the door.

He was mad, but not at you. He was mad at himself for the reaction his body had. Confused too. He also knew that he couldn’t tell you what just happened because you would tease him for days. Or worse, you would exclaim a loud and clear disgusted “EEEW” to tease him. That he couldn’t support.

“Listen, I’m going to sleep early tonight. You can continue the movie, don’t wait for me”.

Without an explanation he left for his bedroom and closed the door. It was rude but it was a necessity.

You came back to the living room and sat on the couch. Your thighs were still mild with Jiyong’s warmth. 

You couldn’t concentrate on the movie. What’s got into him? You stood up and walked towards his room, concerned. You just hope that he didn’t discover your ‘secret’.

3 years ago, on Christmas eve

After you finished hanging the garlands, you stepped back and enjoyed your hard work, satisfied.  Yesterday, Jiyong announced that the band would not be able to fly to Korea for Christmas. Something happened with their schedule and unexpectedly they had to stay in Hong Kong a little longer before they would resume their world tour. 

You didn’t want Jiyong and the boys to stay in their room and alone for Christmas. You had called Daesung’s girl of moment and Seunghyn’s sister and shared your plan with them. Youngbae’s girl had already joined him a couple of days ago. You would make a little reception for your boys. After all, no one should be alone on Christmas Eve. With the girls, you prepared it all.

“Can you taste the punch? I’m scared that I didn’t put enough rhum” 

“I did taste it and it was perfect” you answered. “Seunghyun will add wine in his glass anyway, wait for it” 

She laughed, it was exactly like his brother to do that. 

“Oh, they’re coming. I’m so nervous” you told her.

In the plane for HongKong, you had decided to open up to Ji about your new feelings for him. Lately you had come to the conclusion that you were in love with him. What you thought was just a mere flirt at the beginning, soon turned out to be much more. It was love, with capital A. You had taken your time to analyse your feelings but it was kind of obvious.  You were just not accepting the fact before, even though you were facing all the proof. 

What is the first thing that comes to your mind in the morning? Jiyong.

Who do you want to hug when you feel the need to snuggle against someone? Ji.

Who’s hand do you want to hold, when you walk on the street or discover a new city? Yep! Jiyong again.

Who do you want to make love to, when you feel that need between your legs?

Who makes your heart skip a beat because of his cuteness?

Who makes you a horny mess when he smiles?

Who do you think will be the father of your children, when you imagine yourself nursing a baby?

 Ji, Ji and Ji. Always him. He was your soulmate and the guardian of your heart. You couldn’t imagine a moment without him in your life. You wanted more. You wanted to take all of him. You had no choice but to tell him, you were not able to keep it for yourself anyway. He had even questioned you about the recent changes in your attitude. Soon, you won’t be able to hide it anymore, you rather should tell him while you were still having control over yourself. You were really scared of his possible rejection though. It was petrifying. But the possibility that maybe he shared the love was stronger and it made you so happy to imagine what you could become together. How your friendship would transform into love. Into love making. Into a deeper relationship.

It was decided. You will confess tonight, in the hotel room after the party.  You’ll deal with the consequences later.

You were waiting for the boys in the suite that you had reserved. It was a simple room that the hotel rented for meetings or private events like tonight. Because it was Christmas, it was available and you didn’t have any trouble making a last minute reservation.

The door of the suite opened on Jiyong’s manager. He was aware of the little reception, you needed someone to drag the boys in. They entered the room one by one. You didn’t notice the happiness on their face when they discovered the 3 ladies waiting for them with food, alcohol and gifts, you were looking for Jiyong only. Unfortunately, he was nowhere to be found. Seunghun came and closed the door for more privacy, already having a glass of punch in hands.

“Wait, Ji has not arrived yet”.

His features went grave but his voice remained soft and calm. He seemed sad. He seemed to be pitying you too, his concerned eyes looking at you the same way you imagine he will be looking at his child when he’ll say “Santa Claus doesn’t exist for real”.

“He won’t be coming. He had other plans for tonight, something that popped up. I’m really sorry”

“Is he okay? Where is he?”

“This morning, he met a woman in the restaurant of the hotel. A cute damsel in distress. Well, one thing after another, it turned out that he invited her to the concert. And well… they left together, if you know what I mean”.

Your heart started to beat really fast. You didn’t like the turn of the conversation. Seunghyun’s sister covered her mouth with a hand, shocked, as she realized what her brother was telling you. It seemed that they knew about your feelings for Ji. Were you that obvious?

“Oooh… Maybe she can come here too” you said but it was absolutely not what you wanted.

“I guess they’re having sweet fucking sex” Dae laughed as he looked as his girlfriend, implying that it’s what he will have too, later!

“Woah… okay… okay”

You sat on the couch next to you and held your head. There is no way in hell that you will let your pain show in front of Jiyong’s friends.  But there was also no way you could stop the tears from falling down your cheeks. Without a word, you left the suite for the room that you rented, in case Ji would reject you. 

You were still crying, the next day when he had knocked on your door and entered your room, all excited and agitated like a puppy. More likely, like a man who hit the jackpot recently. He seemed so happy about the night he had spent, butterflies dancing in his stomach as he was telling you how cute she was. How he had spent the night of his life. How he couldn’t wait to see her again. He was so excited and centered towards his own happiness that he didn’t notice your red and bloody eyes.  

“Ji, don’t stay with me then. Go meet her right now! I guess she feels the same way and you’ll take it where you left it!”

“But you travelled all the way here and prepared such a sweet party for me and the boys! I saw the pictures, it seemed so much fun”. 

“Yah! I’d rather stay with your friends and mine, by the way, than staying a minute longer with you while you imagine yourself having sex with another woman”

“Another? It’s not like I had that many women either”

It was not the sense of your word ‘another’ but you didn’t precise it. The word had slipped your lips anyway.

“True, I’m sorry. Go, Ji! Live up for your dreams! Wout! Wout!”  you encourage him, fist up in the air with the biggest smile that you could to hide your sadness. Your eyes were your pain untold and you wish you would tell him everything.

“Sure, hun?”

“Yes, sure thing. We’re taking the plane tomorrow. If I don’t see you by then, here’s my new year kiss” you said, planting a smack on his cheek. You needed to kiss him and hold him, just for a second. To steal him from her and keep him for yourself only, a short instant.  

“Merry Christmas Ji. I love you so much” you whispered. Of course, he didn’t catch the extra meaning you had implied “And may the new year bring you only happy moments, you deserve it”.

“Aaaw, Merry Christmas my sweet girl. May the year bring you a man that will make you happy, for once. You were unlucky lately”.

You laughed ironically.

“Nah, I’ll be okay on my own for a while. Go now”. How could he have unnoticed that you were in pure agony? That your heart had been pierced with a thousand arrows? He was always so attentive normally. That was a good thing though, you prefer him to be happy with her than unhappy with you.

“Thanks, you’re the best friend ever, so understanding. I’ll tell you everything in detail later”.

“... Have fun”

He left in a hurry without a single look back and it broke what remained strong inside of you. You crumbled on the ground, unable to support your own body weight any longer. You never thought you could be rejected by him without having a single chance to say a word. You never thought you would be broken like that. You will need a lot of courage to be able to face him again. But also, it would be worse if he disappeared from your life. There was no perfect situation here, either way you were losing a part of yourself.

“That man is so fucking stupid” you heard Seunghyun tell his sister by the door Jiyong had left open a moment ago. . “How could he do that? Is he blind?"

You closed the door, you didn’t want to hear more.  You cried all day and night, curled up in the bed. You didn’t see Jiyong afterwards, while you were in Hong Kong. He didn’t come back from his cloud, therefore he didn’t come back to you. 

He had stayed in a relationship with her for a whole year. The exact time it took you to get over him. Or did you really?

Present day

You tiptoed your way to his bed and benched in front of him. His eyes were closed, he seemed to be asleep already. In his sleeping state, he was frowning, this was unusual.

He was not but he didn’t say a word, still mad and shocked. He didn’t know how to deal with it, his sudden desire for you. He couldn’t just say “let’s fuck” and then pretend like nothing happened afterward, your friendship was on the line. The only time that something happened between you, something sexual, there was a context. And you didn’t ‘really’ do something together anyway. How can’t he forget about it? How can’t he put it aside and move on? Why was he trying to relive this with his partners afterward? But of course, it was impossible, they were just not you. He realised it now! If it was not that good with them, it’s because they were simply not the good person. They were not you.

“Ji, are you okay?” he heard you ask with worry.

No answer. 

You placed a hand on his forehead to see if he had a fever. Satisfied by his body temperature, you retracted your hand with much concern. You knew him way too much to buy his sleeping state.

“Ji, I’m scared, you didn’t seem well tonight, you were really pale. I will sleep by your side to check on you, do you mind? Like we did before, when we checked on my niece. Okay? I can’t guarantee that I’ll be as good as you were though.”

No answer. 

He clearly didn’t want to talk to you. Or was he sick and had passed away? 

“If you don’t want to, it’s okay. I’ll squat the couch or the bed in the guest room. But the couch is more comfy. Would you prefer if I leave your house? The temperature is still bad outside but I don’t want you to be uncomfortable around me”

“Y/n, can you jump on the bed and shut the hell up so I can go back to sleep”? his tone was harsh.

Shocked, not sure how to take it, you did as he said and waited there, looking at the ceiling. You were cold but didn’t want to move or even less, to slide yourself under the comforter where he seemed so comfortable and warm. He was facing the other side and you could almost hear him thinking. The cat came in the bed and sat on his master’s pillow. Jiyong sighted, chased A-Ye and turned on his back. He didn’t say a word, didn’t look at you, didn’t move a single muscle afterwards.

It’s his sweet giggle that woke you up in the middle of the night. You had fallen asleep but obviously, he didn’t. From the lamp sitting on the bedside table emanated a warm and felted light. Jiyong was eating ramyeons while watching something on his cell. Confused, you sat up and rubbed your eyes.

“You seem better, it’s a relief”.

 “I just realised something. Remember the other day when I joked about your google research?”

“YAH! How many times do I have to tell you, I did NOT search for blowjobs instructions”.

“I know now!” he laughed.

What happened was that, about 2 months ago, you made a google research on your laptop while you were waiting for him at his studio. You had written “How to give a good head massage” but the research bubble showed everything but the important last word. The word that changed the meaning of the whole sentence.

He didn’t want to believe you even when you showed him the page with explicit pictures of the head massage popping from the screen. He thought that you had just opened it fast, to save the appearances. He had teased you for days with that, mocking you gently. 

“I told you that I wanted to use a new technique when I massage your head. You didn’t believe me”.

“Because I didn’t know you were massaging my head. Now, I get it”.

“Why didn’t you believe me?”.

“Why didn’t you massage my head when I’m awake?”

“I don’t know”

“I don’t know either”

Your eyes met and you both laughed out loud. You were happy to have your friend back, at least momentary. You still didn’t know what happened earlier.

“Will you stop mocking me with the blowjob thing, now?”.

“Yes, I already stopped when I noticed that you were mad for real… Sorry hun, I mocked you. I should have known better”.

“Excuses accepted. Now, let’s forget about it… please”.

He didn’t talk for a minute, you were both lost in your thoughts. You grabbed the chopsticks he was holding and swallowed a large portion of ramyeon, hungry.

“Ji”

“Hum?”

“Why were you mad at me tonight?”

“I was not mad at you at all, I was mad at myself”.

“Why though?”

“I’d rather not talk about it”.

“Okay then, but I’m here if you want to”.

“I know... Now go back to sleep and stop eating my ramyeons”.

“Nah, feed me more. I’m starving. AAAAAH” You opened your mouth for him to feed you one bite. He did and gave you his bowl and chopsticks without further discussion. He had decided to let you eat it all anyway. 

“Here, take it” 

“Mmmm, it’s delicious. Thanks Ji” 

He looked at you closing your eyes to savor the noodles, not a single bit conscious that it would break him. He was so naive. When he heard the little moan that escaped your lips after you took a bite, he remembered everything you had said when you were talking about the ‘not blowjob’ research.

“You know, I talk with my partners, it’s their ‘instructions’ that I follow, not general tips made for a general audience on the internet. I adjust with their reactions too. Nobody loves it the exact same way”.

“Ji, for god’s sake! I told you that yes, I searched for that a long time ago, when I was young. From that, I improved my technique and I didn’t feel the need to search again. I wouldn’t be shy to tell you if I would REALLY have searched for it”.

and later that night...

“Please don’t believe that I’m a pro either, I’m not that good! It’s just that I really didn’t search. You know what, now that I think about it, I should search for it. We never know, maybe I could still improve” with a blink. 

Eating your ramyeons with appetite, you were unaware of the thoughts spinning in his head. You didn’t know that your relation was about to take a complete new turn. That the image he had in his mind right was nothing but pure. You were also really naive.

2 years ago or the ocean event

Jiyong had decided to bring you to Hawaii like this, on the spur of the moment and for no actual good reason. Dae and his current conquest joined your improvised journey and the four of you had flight to the paradisiac island for a whole week of pure bliss. 

You closed the door of your room and went down to meet Ji. He texted you that he was already down there, ready for the beach like you had planned before you split last night after you took a walk in the streets with the natives. 

“Hun, were you able to sleep last night?'' he asked, rubbing his beautiful sleepy eyes when you met in the lobby. You walked outside and sat on a bench near the entrance to apply the sunscreen he handed you. Of course, he knew that you would have forgotten yours.

“Nope, there were people banging in the wall and screaming like if they were in distress or something. Did you hear that? Why did she have to yell like that? I would have shove my dick in her mouth if I was her partner, at least she would have shut the fuck up. It was so fake!”

“Woah! You’re violent! Good thing that you don’t have a dick.  Don’t judge, you were not there. It’s just her way of expressing her pleasure, chill hun! No one is hurt”.

“Her pleasure? For 4 hours straight like that, no change in the pace! Come on Ji, you know better! She yelled all night long, how could that even be possible? No rupture in the tempo… No break, no slowing down, no changes in the play, nothing. It was fake, I’m telling you.  Maybe they were filming porn…”

He laughed, you continued.

“In a way or another, she was annoying. But the bitch got fucked and not me. I guess that’s the reason why I’m so pissed” you added. Seeing his eyes widened, you smiled.

“What? I have needs too”

“I don’t want to know” he giggled, placing his hands over his ears. At this moment, Daesung arrived and sat between you and Ji. Looking at one after the other, seemingly in shock.

“Did you hear it?”

“We did” you answered, ready to complain with him.

“It was sooo hot, right? Woah! It gave me and Shirl a lot of audio stimulations. It was nice, we kind of followed their rhythm.” he seemed shocked but pleased at the same time. Without another word, he stood up and left abruptly. You watched him leave in silence.

“Ji, I hate all the couples in the world. All of them”.

“Someone is not in a good mood today. When is the last time you got laid, I can’t pinpoint it”

“Because I never tell you when I do, we don’t talk about stuff like that… but it was a long time. Maybe last year or something”

You were in a relationship with a beautiful man when you had realised that you were in love with Jiyong last year. You were still trying to forget Jiyong, compelling yourself to stop loving him. It was impossible.

“Damn… it’s been a long time. So, your last boyfriend then”.

“Yep… I won’t ask you since you were in a relationship till recently”

“True, she was the last one. 2 months is long... Wait, where are you going???”

“I’m going to calm my hormones in the ocean. I’m suddenly horny and need a distraction. Hopefully the water will be cold enough”

“I’ll go with you, I need it too”

You entered the water running and laughing like kids. You felt light, like there was nothing going wrong in your life or in the entire world. You felt detached from reality but in a good way. The flowing of the tide was languorous, the ocean was forging its own sea-song.  The freshness of the water was invigorating. For at least an hour, you and Jiyong had bickered and played around, alone in your own little universe. You threw water at each other’s face, tried to immerse the other into the water, tried to surf on a cheap plastic plank that was abandoned on the shore, falling on each attempt and laughing like you didn’t have the chance to, lately. The only time you were out of the water was to take a sip of your drink that Daesung was keeping safe for you while sunbathing with Shirlee. It wasn’t quite a good idea to drink that much alcohol when horny … not a good idea at all. 

“Y/n… It didn’t work!” Jiyong said sheepishly.

“I mean it’s water,  it’s slippery… How could it worked” you answered, knowing exactly what he meant. 

“Water turns you on?”

“Damn… not the water itself. But a wet body against another wet body… I mean… Oh, shit! I didn’t mean that you turned me on, it’s not like that. It just reminded me of, you know… things I did in the past” 

It was a big fat lie. You never had sex in the water. But you won’t tell him that his hot and wet skin against yours made you even more needy than you were before. That the water dripping from his bang was sexy. That his muscular arms, shoulders and those damn abs were giving you bad thoughts. You couldn’t tell him anything like that.

“What are we gonna do about it?”

“I won’t do anything, what do you mean?”

“Well… maybe if we turn our back on each other, we can, you know… relieve ourselves. Together, doing our own little things but not... ”

“I got it Ji, no need to say more…”

Was it alcohol? The burning sun? His cute and so sexy smirk? For a moment, you played with the idea. Jiyong had reserved the most private resort he could find in the country and the beach was almost empty. You could see some people away but no one close enough to see anything that you were doing on the beach even less in the water. Some staff members were walking around, doing their own little things. No one cared about what you were doing. Beside, the water was deep blue and it was impossible to see through it.  You could easily jerk yourself off under the depth water and no one would notice.

“But if we turn around, Daesung will get suspicious, he will think we fight and start asking questions. He’s watching over us, you know”.

“Yes… But I can’t get out of the water hun, my cock refused to calm down”.

“You have a big problem, man. I’m so sorry for you” you mocked.

“You’re not helping at all” he was almost annoyed. You understood how he felt, after all, you were horny too. You were both adults, there must be a solution. After all, he proposed something interesting.

“Ji, you know, your hands are in the water right now and I see nothing. Go a little deeper, we won’t notice your arms and shoulders. Turn the other way around, that way you won’t see me while you… you know. I won’t see anything for sure. Don’t worry. Do what you have to do, I won’t look”

“Are you serious? What about you?”

“I’ll be just fine, no worry. I can wait for when I’m in my room”.

“Sure? Ok, you’re amazing!” he smiled widely.

You didn’t know it but as soon as he turned around, he was not so into it anymore. Maybe it was the thought of doing it with someone that was so exciting. A cute and stunning lady… so sexy in her bikini.

You had turned around to let him do his thing but horny you were too. Not to mention, Jiyong, the man you loved in silence for a complete year was about to stroke himself right now, you won’t miss it so you swan towards him. He was in a deep zone, but still able to touch the ground unlike you. You arrived from behind and hugged him tightly, your arms snaked around his neck, your knees keeping balance on each side of his hips, carefully not circling him.

“Is it good?” you murmured.

“What are you doing?”

“Joining the party” You didn’t know, but there was no party so far. His penis had even softened back to its almost normal size.

“Ooooh….”

Where Jiyong was standing you couldn’t reach the bottom, the water level reached your mouth, you tried and you choke on the salted water. You had to keep a hand on him.

“Hun, stay where you are, let’s do it together, but not together. Is it okay with you?”

“Oh Jiiii… I’ve already started” you purred.

“But you’re holding me…”

“Yes, I’m holding you. I won’t drown for an orgasm”.

“Fair enough… I shall get going too, then”

He was clearly not as cocky as he was 2 minutes ago. You figured that you surprised him with your initiative.

“If you prefer, I’ll leave you alone, no worry”.

“You know, I have a voyeur side inside of me, I love this idea too much to let you go”

“Good, cause I’m a tiny bit of an exhibisionnist… well, a big bit finally” you cutely added, knowing it was not an actual word.

He smiled and looked at you above his shoulder, shocked but excited to discover that spicy side of yours.

“Perfect match then” he stated.

“Turn your face around, put your hand on your dick and stroke yourself… let me do my thing…” you palmed his neck and guided his face the other way around so he would be looking at the ocean instead at you, holding onto his back like a baby koala.

“Lord, help me cause I’m a sinner”

He attentively tried to catch a hint on what was happening on his back. You were holding onto his shoulder with one hand and he didn’t see anything, didn’t feel anything. You were cautious not to make any wave. He wanted more visuals, not that he needed it. Just to add some zest to the experience.

“Are you doing it?” The tone of his voice, his signature soft voice, was the most comforting and exciting thing at the same time. He had the cutest and the sexiest tone ever.

“Ji, shut the fuck up”, you said a little short of breathe. So, you had started, he thought.

“Come on, give me something, love. Are you really masturbating?”

You stopped and this is when he noticed the difference of motion in his back, the difference of pressure your knees applied on his hips in order to stay still despite the waves. Suddenly, it was quieter, this is how he knew that indeed, you were doing it subtly.

“You want me to leave you alone?”

He turned around abruptly. Now facing you, the lust in his dark chocolate eyes was sparkling. A sight that you imagined so often, lightning up his beautiful features for your eyes only to see. Not to mention the sunlight gently caressing his skin. His eyes half closed because of the sun. His damped messy hair carelessly falling on his forehead and temples. This vision itself was enough for your heart to melt and your core to liquefy.

“Y/n, I don’t want you to leave. It’s just that I didn’t know if you were doing it for real, I want, I don’t know… I would like...”

“Don’t hold back, tell me exactly what you want, cause I’m horny here and I need to do something about it” you told him as you touched your thigh, a soft caress along your skin, looking straight into his eyes. You didn’t begin but you knew that the moment to come will be pure. Unselfish. Undemanding. Free.

He looked at the movement of your shoulder, he couldn’t see below that level. He wished he had chosen a turquoise and clear sea to be able to see everything that was happening under.

“I’m not sure of what I can ask in this kind of situation”

“Just if you still really want to, think of us as partners in crime.  We’re 2 needy adults that consent to masturbate side by side. We won’t touch each other, just be together while we’re both having fun with ourselves like you just suggested. Let’s say that everything that happens in the ocean, stays here in the ocean. We won’t remember it once we reach the shore and we’ll never talk about it anymore. Deal?”

“You’re wonderful. Deal”

“Now… close your eyes and touch yourself”.

Strangely, you were not uncomfortable with the situation. You knew that no matter what happened, you would be safe and respected. He would never mock you or judge you. You were free to be and act in complete harmony with your desires, without holding anything back. It was the perfect foundation for a meaningful dirty play. In that moment, your chemistry became an ever-bright flame.

He moved his hand down but refused to look anywhere but straight to your eyes. He never saw that luxurious expression on your face, never heard that carnal voice, almost too low to be heard. He needed to hear you moan. Were you the type to hold back because too shy to be heard? He doubts that, now. He wonders if you were more of a high-pitched sounds or a guttural moaner. Suddenly, it was the most important question to be answered.

“What are you doing?” This is when the now ‘face to face’ thing became more interactive. His piercing gaze was on you, it’s you that he was looking at, no one else. 

You smirked. He wanted to play that game, well you were hell of a player!

“You wanna know how I touch myself?” your voice was a low murmur, it sent shivers down his spine.

“Yes, tell me…” he gulped, unable to guess what was ‘really’ happening under the blue sea. How do you like to be caressed? What makes you cum?

“Right now, I’m taking it really slow and superficial…”

You paused to breathe. For obvious reasons, the oxygen demand in your cells has increased with all the symptoms that comes with it: fast heartbeat, short breath, your senses on red alert. 

 “I’m too excited, the second I touch my clit or slide a finger in, I will cum. I love that you’re asking me. It’s fucking hot” you miraculously were able to say.

“Your answer is hotter, believe me. You look really beautiful like that… So sexy…  tell me in detail everything that you’re doing”.

“I’m pinching my clit, I need to calm down... now squeezing it between my palms, it’s good” you moan softly. After a moment you shivered and it seemed that you stopped touching yourself, taking your hand out of the water to show him. 

“You were about to cum?” he smirked

“Fuck yes”.

“You love to touch yourself with me? You love that I look at you pleasuring yourself?”

You nodded, nothing else needed to be said. He grabbed your free hand, your right one, and nibbled every single fingertips, sucking gently. 

“It doesn’t taste anything but salt, damn it!”

His longing eyes never left yours. Just that, him desiring you, dirty talking to you, was sending you over the moon. He gently guided your hand in front of your core and his came back where it was: on your hip.

 “Jiii… now, I’m scratching it all with my nails, it hurts and it’s fun at the same time… ”

“YOU WHAT? Woah! You love when it’s painful?” he exclaimed, shocked. You were not exactly how he imagined you would be, sexually speaking. To be honest, he thought you were a sweet vanilla girl, one that prefers convenient sex more. That frosted side that he was discovering, pleased him a lot. 

“I love it when it hurts a little bit… I love when it burns… I love when it’s sucked hard. What are you doing?” you breathe slowly between each affirmation.

“Looking at you only, at the moment… I think I will cum in my pants just like that! Hands free orgasm! I bet your clit is swollen right now...”

“Let me see… oooh yes... It’s really sensitive. I’m tracing small lines up and down, it feels good. I won’t last long… I let my nail trails his way up… omph”

Your clit was indeed overflowing with blood. Knowing that Jiyong was watching made you more sensitive than you ever was before. Now that it has started, there was no way out of the game. You couldn't move away from his gaze even if you tried, like he’s eyes have short circuited your mind in the best possible way.

“So beautiful... Do you imagine your fingers to be someone else?”

“Nah! I’m right here with you, it’s already really arousing”

Of course, you won’t tell him that it’s his fingers that you imagine as you rubbed smooth circles across your clit. 

“Ji… It’s good… Now, I slide 3 fingers in… it’s so good… Jiii… I’m gonna cum… Oh lord… I knew I wouldn’t last” 

“I can see it… I feel your hips love… I bet you’re thrusting to meet your fingers, right? … you’re so hot”

You closed your eyes as you locked your hips against your hand, hitting your spot right away. With Jiyong’s obvious enjoyment, the ultimate pleasure hit you. You quivered erratically and in the process you pressed yourself against him.  His wet and slippery chest against yours was enough material for your next 5000 lonely nights. When your mouth founded his shoulder, you sank your teeth onto the trapeze muscle and took a big bite of him. You needed it to suppress your moans. He continued to encourage you, despite the pain.

“Don’t stop now, I’m sure you can surf on it a little longer… that’s it love… Softs movements this time, give yourself some tenderness, my wild flower… softer with your teeth too, please” he asked, cutely and you released some pressure on your teeth but kept your mouth there. “That’s it, moan for me… you make the hottest sounds I’ve ever heard”.

He was right, the orgasm lasted for a little while. Jiyong was holding you firmly against him, his head tilted against yours as he whispered sweet dirty words.You stopped the motion of your hand and stayed like that, holding onto him tightly. Pressing your whole self against his perfectly sculpted body. His soft skin. His melodic speaking voice. You needed time to calm your breath and heartbeat.  It was a one shot deal, you decided that you will take the best out of it for the time it lasts. Therefore, you snaked your arms around his neck, cautious not to touch his middle where his length was probably throbbing. The thought of it made you almost cum again, it certainly didn’t calm the fire that was still burning. Exhausted and feeling really brave, you’ll deal with the consequences later, your nose found the crook of his neck and you nuzzled against his watered and sun warmed skin, drops falling down on both of you from his damped and sexy hair. This intimate and loving contact was risky for your heart but his neck was so prettily offered, you couldn’t resist. It was hard not to nibble onto him. To kiss him. To taste him. To tell him that you love him.

You breathed slowly in his warmth for a moment, your body still trembling softly from the powerful orgasm you just had but mostly because of the proximity with him. The sensation of his strong arm holding your laps against his side while the other rested on the curve of your back, it was overwhelming.

“Your turn, now!” he needed his relief too, you hoped that you will be as hot for him as he was for you.

“Yes love, but can I do something first? You don’t have to say yes. I would like...”

“Don’t ask my permission, it’s our moment and I doubt that you want to do something that will harm me. Just do it”

He smirked, a fucking smirk that would have put you on your knees. A smirk that was never directed to you before. His hungry eyes were half closed but his gaze remained sharp. He was perfect. You felt his hands slide under your arms and played with the bikini top on your back.

“I want to feel you against me, may I?”

“Help yourself” you smiled, letting him play with the fabric of your top. It was so tiny, his fingers were gracing your skin and just that little contact was electrifying.

“What’s going on Ji? Is there a problem?” You teased as you joined your hands on the back of his neck, forearms on his shoulders. 

“Hun, where is the tie?” 

It was your turn to smirk. He frowned, scrutinizing your face. You were preparing something, it was obvious. 

“Remember my bikini? The knot under my boobs is what you’re looking for”.

“Oh my god! Like a bow on a gift! Isn’t easy to pull on a string and strip your boobs naked”

“Han, han!” you purred, with a tone that implied that you didn’t mind the strip tease. You teasingly stroked his calf with your foot. “So, what are you gonna do about it? If you want to feel my chest against yours, you know what you have to do”, you said, defying him.

“Are you challenging me?” he asked as his hands found your neck. His thumb traced a line down your throat and went lower to the swell of your breast. A soft and light caress, almost too soft to be felt. He wanted to tease you too, you were way too cocky and he needed to show you how he too, could be in control.

“Who’s challenging who now? You’d like me to pinch those nipples, right? To rub them between my fingers”

He said as he brought both hands in front of your boobs as if he wanted to grab them. But he never touched you. He stayed close enough for you to feel his warmth, feel a little contact here and there throughout the thin fabric, but never touching you for real.

“I’m sure you have a sensitive breast and that you are screaming from the inside right now. You would like to be touched so badly. Am I right?”

“...” excited at the idea, you could do nothing but grasp.

“Answer me, love”

“Yes, I would love your hands on my breast” you gulped.

“Well, too bad, you set the no touching rule” he winked “But I’ll free them and you’ll soon feel me, don’t worry”. It was ‘his turn’ and yet, you felt the center of the attention. The tables had to turn. 

His fingers slid down your breastbone, caressing your skin. There, he was touching you for real and it put you on fire again. He knew what he was doing, he noticed your shivers. When he found the bow, tied just under the swelling of your breasts, he had fun with the fabric before tearing the cords apart. Very slowly he pushed your bikini top to the side, his eyes on yours.

“So sensitive”

“Remember Ji, it’s no touching and no looking.” 

“You’ll be the end of me, you little brat”

He wasted no more time. With one hand, he grabbed you by the hip and dragged you closer. He turned his feet to the side to move his pelvis away from you and surrendered completely to what was to follow.

“Can I guide you?” You asked timidly.

“Yes, I’ve never tried that… Go ahead, be my hand”.

It was true. He had met willing women before but never playful the way you were. You were a mixture of sexy, dominant, cute and submissive. You loved it rough too, it seemed, even though what you were doing was quite soft. A perfect match for him.

“You’ll do exactly what I tell you to do. Okay?”

“Of course”

“Good… Let’s go… are you touching yourself right now?”

He showed you his free hand, the one not holding you.

“Let’s switch hands. I want you to hold your dick with your left…”

“YAH! Why my left? It’s not the good hand” he interrupted

“Oh, I know that” you winked “Go, now. Good!”

He sulked in annoyance but was ready to follow your lead nevertheless so he had switched arms. His right one was holding you against him, on that he won’t compromise.

“Very good Ji, let’s run your thumb on the tip slowly. Is it good?”

“Don’t apply much pressure on your shaft, keep your hand loose around it. We’re taking it slow!”

“I feel so vulnerable and so powerful at the same time, it’s ecstatic… I want more, give me more”

“ Shhhhh, one thing at the time. Don’t go too hard on it ok, gentle touch. Grab the skin between your penis and balls. Squeeze gently. Use your fingertips, it’s good, I see you love it. Palm it gently while your fingers tickle your balls… good… your face is telling me that we are doing a good job” he had closed his eyes shut. His breathing increased already.

“I need more”

“You’ll have more, shut it. Don’t hold your moans back though, ok? I want to hear your pleasure. Not too loud… that’s it, in my ear”.

“Baby can I stroke myself?”

“No, you can’t! Let go of me, I’ll stay in place no worry, look I’m rubbing myself against you… Good… Put your penis between your palms and roll your hands in opposite directions. If you like when it hurts, put more pressure, roll… roll… roll…” 

His face twisted in pleasure, moans slipping from his lips.

“Never done that to my dick, it feels good. Is this how you give a handjob?”

“I might do it, yes”

“mmmm, it feels so good baby… aaah”

You let him proceed and before you noticed a sign of impatience, you continued.

“Now, if you’ve never touched yourself like that, or never been touched like that, it might seem surprising. But obey, it will be good”

Curious, he opened his eyes and looked at you smirking.

“Okay…”

“Take your glands between your thumb and index and squeeze very geltly. Apply this pressure all around the circumference. Don’t brush your fingers together, it will hurt. Just put pressure. Squeeze... Are you there? Keep your fingers smooth but be firm on the grip. Press firmly.”

“It feels so good… aaah”

 “Apply as much pressure as you can take. It has to be a little painful, but just a little Ji, we want it to be fun”.

The only sounds slipping from his lips were soft moans. He seemed to enjoy the touch. Maybe you surprised him. You hope you did.

“Open your eyes Ji. I want you to know that it’s with me that you are jerking off with. Keep those eyes on me”.

“Of course it’s you… you’re the only one here with me”

“I certainly hope so. Now, circle the base of your cock with your thumb and one finger, only one. Don’t put too much pressure. Are you doing it?”

“Yes…”

“Move your hips back-and-forth. Fuck your own hand slowly, gently… Good job! It’s increasing, isn't it?”

“Yes, I could cum like that”

“Then loosen your fingers, loosen it right now!”

“I fucking hate you”  he was frustrated but he obeyed nevertheless.

“I know you do, I know… I’m so mean when you were so good for me” you took your sweetest voice, your innocent voice. One that he didn’t know you had.

“Keep your fingers loose and pump now, real slow. How does it feel?

“Way too good… but it’s not my hand”

“Ooooh, may I ask?”

“Yours” he said, looking straight into your eyes, waiting for your reaction. You blush, shy.

“Does my hand feel good, around your cock?” you were already back to the play.

“It feels better than mine...” he murmured. 

“Amazing, now, put more pressure around your cock and go just a little faster with those hips. Fuck yourself in my hand”

He moaned, sweet sounds falling from his lips. You pressed yourself against him, your hard nipples caressing him as you both breathed in and out slowly.

“You love it, when I guide you?” you whispered in his ear.

“mmm” he moaned

“Use your words”

His eyes started to roll back, aroused. It was beautiful to witness.  He was weak on his legs, holding still with a solid grip on your hip. 

“I love when you guide me”.

“I can see that you do. Let go of your cock and play with your balls a bit. Squeeze them. Feel their weight”

“Jesus Christ… I was about to cum

“Oh, I know” you teased murmured in his ear. “But I’m not ready to let you  just yet. Are you playing with your balls?”

 “Hum, hum...I never loved to play with my own balls before today…”

“Can you use both hands? Yes? okay. Grab your cock with your fist and stroke not so gently while the other hand squeeze your balls… good, you’re doing good… Stroke again slowly but with a strong grip. Ji, slow down, I see you are cheating. Good… Twist your shaft when you come up, slowly, does it feel good?” His grin told you that he really enjoyed it.

“Yes…. ah… Y/n,  you’re evilish”

His sweet sounds, his voice that you always found so soothing, was now turning you on, it lit a fire between your legs. Again.

“Faster baby, faster…. Now stop”

“What? No…I can’t stop” he continued to stroke, you could tell by the movement of his shoulder.

“No?” 

“Y/n… I’m… aaaah… Argh” he could barely stay on his feet while he ejaculated in a violent burst, screaming your name out loud.

“ARE YOU GUYS OKAY”? You heard Daesung asked from the beach.

“DON’T WORRY DAE, HE WALKED ON A SHELL” you answered, your eyes on Ji. 

The sight of him as he reached his orgasm was the definition of beauty and hotness. He was perfect and so was the moment. His head tilted to the side and his mouth twisted open, he was in a blissful agony.

“aaah… aaaah”

“Don’t you dare stop moving your hand, you have more juices, I’m sure of it. Feel me against you, imagine it’s my hand, mouth, core… Whatever you prefer but keep going. I want you to empty that load… Stroke yourself… continue”

One last softer moan, a great final thrill and he was done. You felt his whole body relax against yours and his face fell on your shoulder, panting. He kissed it gently as soon as his lips landed on your skin. He was breathing heavily in your ear, the most endearing melody of them all. Combined with the murmur of the waves, it couldn’t be more perfect.

You were not sure if your heart would survive this. Not sure at all that you will be okay with him, having a girlfriend later, now that you know how he sounds like when he was having sex. How he feels. How he looks. How playful he was. You don’t think that you will be able to breathe, imagining him with another woman. Making love to her… No, you don’t have the right to think like that… You were just a lost case.

You moved away from him and gave him your most reassuring smile. He cannot know what’s got into your mind right now. That suddenly, instead of letting go of him, you would do the exact contrary. You would snuggle yourself against him and stay there forever and ever, in the comfort of his arms. 

“Thank you, it was… I have no words. And we didn’t even touch!”

“I know, right?” 

“Will you be okay with it? At home, I mean”.

“Absolutely” you lied “You?”

“Okay, good then. Good. Me too.” He showed no signs that it could be otherwise.

Both amazed by what just happened, you walk away from each other. Reality was hitting you both and you didn’t seem to want that moment to end. Neither of you. But you had to go back to your reality now.

You wanted to fix your bikini top but he stopped you, grabbing your hand between his, keeping them against his chest.

“Let me do it, hun. With the non touching thing and in the middle of the ocean, the aftercare are limited. At least, let me put it back in place for you”.

You nodded, he continued.

“You’re okay? Are you always that rough with yourself?” he asked as you placed the triangle back in place, this you won’t let him do. You felt no judgement in his tone though, just curiosity.

“I was not rough today, Ji. I even showed you my vanilla side”.

“What we did was soft, I agree. But the way you caress yourself, and me indirectly, it was not the softest touch. I didn’t know you had that in you. It was nice, I loved it”.

“Agreed, it was really nice”.

He tied the knot back in place between your boobs. After one look to approve his doing, he declared that you were all good to get out of the tub.

“Do you regret it?”

“I don’t. You?”

“Nope”

“What happened in the water stays in the water?”

“Absolutely. Let’s forget it ever happened even though it will be rough”.

 You swam towards the shore gently, side by side, as if nothing sexual ever happened. 

“Do I have a mark on my shoulder”.

“Oooh, that? Oopsie” you answered cutely. 

“You think you’re a shark or something? Jesus, it will hurt for days”

“I’m sorry but not sorry at the same time, it’s hard to explain” you teased.

“You little brat”

“Am I?” You shrugged  “But how are you gonna hide it from Dae?”

“I won’t, I’ll say that I’ve been bitten by a fish. Even better! I’ll say that mama shark bite me”

You both laughed and you realised that he had swam behind you. Snaking his arms around your waist, he said 

“Thanks Y/n, seriously. I won’t talk about it, it’s the deal. But it will be really hard to forget”

“Agreed. Thanks to you too, it wouldn’t have been that magical without you”.

Even though you didn’t really touch each other, you felt connected to him in the most beautiful and voluptuous way. A bittersweet feeling invaded you. You didn’t regret what happened but you wish you could have more of him. All of him. His love, for example. 

Before you parted, the aching to be in his arms began anew.

Present day

When you opened your eyes later that morning, you were laid under his comforter. For some reason, at the end of the night you were agitated in your sleep and couldn’t rest comfortably.  It gave you a weird feeling of anxiety. Was it because you were in Jiyong’s bed? In 5 years of friendship, the only time that you found yourself here was when your niece got sick. More likely, pretended to be dying from a runny nose just to be taken care of by the man of her dreams, the one and only Jiyong oppa, as she called him so cutely. Jiyong was so endearing to watch as he rubbed camphre on her back with caring hands. He was taking care of the sick little princess as if she was really dying. It was touching and cute and adorable. It’s probably then that you realised that he was the man you loved. Damn, it was already 3 years ago, how can time fly that fast?

“What makes you smile like that” his voice was sleepy and soft. So soothing and familiar that you calmed down a bit. At least, felt less out of place.

“I just remembered when the little princess slept here, between us. She used all sorts of tricks to get you to take care of her. Damn, I should learn from her, she can get what she wants just clicking her little chubby fingers. She mastered the art” you joked.

“Aaaw! She was so sweet. It was fun to take care of her with you. I felt like I was a king”

You burst out laughing. 

 “Duh! I couldn’t take care of her, she only wanted you. Jiyong oppa here, Jiyong oppa there”.

You turned to face him, holding your head in your hand. It seemed that he was awake for a little while, he had filled an entire notebook with lyrics, drawings and song ideas.

“You couldn’t sleep”? you asked, reaching out to pull back a strand of hair that was falling before his eyes. 

“Nope, you snore too much,” he joked as he felt one finger grazing his skin. How could such a simple contact could feel so good? Because it was you, probably.

You knew he was teasing you. For some reasons, you felt the need to get closer to him. To cuddle up with him. To show him that whatever happened last night, you were there, by his side. But not knowing how he would react, you restrained yourself from doing it.

“Jiyong, can you believe that in 5 years, it’s the second time that I sleep in your bed? It’s so comfy, we should be doing it more often”

“You… you want to sleep in my bed?”

“Relax loverboy, I said it like that. I just realised that whenever I sleep here, it’s always on the couch… I didn’t mean anything. Anyway. I’ll get going, I have to work in the afternoon”. 

“Already? Normally you stay a little longer. Can you stay a little longer?”

“What’s gotten into you? Last night you didn’t talk to me. This morning I want to let you have your space and you want me to stay. I’m not following, Ji”.

“Well, I really want you to stay. I need to clear up my mind. I need to…” he stopped when your body crashed against his. His hands came to rest on your back, his nose on the top of your head. You felt so good against him with your scent invading him, it was endearing. He knew your intention was to comfort him. He knew you were just worried, thinking that something bad was going on. Maybe that was it, after all. Maybe it will soon be the end of your friendship because of his stupid ass. 

“I’ll stay like that for 5 minutes, then I’ll leave. I really need to get going, I have some shopping to do before my shift. If you want to talk, I’m here. Otherwise, I’ll just listen to your heartbeat and relax before the day starts. You’re so comfy, Ji.” 

You snuggled closer against him. His delicate smell was so familiar and appealing at the same time. You didn’t know where to place your hands, though. Hugging was not a habit of yours. Even less hugging in bed like that. In what situation did he put himself, he wondered. 

“I might have a question… Do you remember what happened in Jeju Island last year? Do you remember the kiss that we shared?”

You froze. You didn’t see it coming at all. Why asking you this after all this time? You coughed, sign that you were uncomfortable. Clearly, you knew what he was talking about. And your little cough won’t be unnoticed or misinterpreted by his sharp ass. He continued.

“Do you think about it, sometimes?”

“No, why would I?” you giggled, nervously. There was nothing funny with his question. “Sorry Ji, I didn’t mean to laugh, it’s not funny. You caught me by surprise”

“I do, think about it… From time to time, I do. Lately, I think about it even more often”

You moved away from him and laid on your back. You shouldn’t have come in his bed last night. You had crossed a line and it could be misinterpreted by him. What have you done?

“Why, though?" 

“Do I need a reason to remember good memories? You know, it was not a simple peck, it was so passionate and emotional. I’ve never been kissed like that before or after. Of course, I will think about it”.

“Well, yes, I do think about it too, indeed”.

Your eyes met his. He seemed sad, desperate and shocked. Something was happening in his life and he needed to remember comforting moments, you thought. Maybe he felt that raw and pure love that you had for him, when you kissed. 

“You loved it?”

“What’s that question? Ji, you’re making me feel uncomfortable. You were there, do I really have to tell you how I felt? Didn’t you feel me? See me? I have nothing to add.”

“Don’t be mad at me, please. I was just… I don’t know. But please, I beg you, don’t be mad at me today”.

“I’m not mad, I just don’t want to think about it, it won’t do any good. Listen, I have to go. I forgot that I have to give a lift to a coworker”.

“You’re running away from me” he said, grabbing your side to keep you from standing up.

“Yes. I am, I admit”.

“Please don’t leave me like that”

“Ji, I will be back, I’m not cutting ties with you. I just need to work. And when we meet again, I don’t want you to remember that kiss… or talk about it”.

“Then, what about the other thing we did, in the ocean?”

“Ji, stop. I don’t want to remember any of it….”

“Why? Do you regret what we did?” he wondered.

You tried to escape the bed but he dragged you closer to him instead. He captured you in his arms and kept you there. You still felt safe and you knew that he would let go of you the second you ask for it. Despite, you didn’t move back. 

“I promise I won’t talk about any of it… But, please. Can I please hug you a little longer. I need to… I just need it”.

He was so emotionally raw that you couldn’t refuse. After all, you will never be able to escape Jiyong for good, will never have the wish to do so anyway. You relaxed in his arms and gently leaned your head on the same pillow as him. He felt all the muscles of your body relax at the same time and you melted in his arms, cute little spoon that you were. Finally, you had let go.

“I lied. Not only do I want to talk about it, I also want to do it again. I want to do it all the time” he said. But it’s your cute little snore that answered on your behalf. You had fallen asleep, in the security of his arms.

“You chose your moment to fall asleep, you little brat” he laughed. 

It was a good thing that you didn’t hear it. It won’t risk your friendship for a dirty play. He couldn’t lose you, you were too important for him. He won’t let that happen. With a kiss on your head, he pressed his legs against the back of yours. Then, he abandoned himself to sleep, too.

Last year, sharing one hot kiss.

With a bunch of friends, you had rented a few condos units in Jeju Island to celebrate Jiyong’s birthday. He had a girlfriend at that time but it’s during this week-end that she had decided to break up with him, telling him that he was “too much to handle” for her liking.

What was supposed to be a fun week-end, turned out to be a blast for everybody except for Jiyong and you. How were you supposed to be happy when your best friend was crying alone outside in the dark.

“Leave me alone, Y/n. I just need some time”.

“I know, don’t worry, I only brought you a blanket, it’s frisky tonight!”

He noticed that indeed, you had laid a big comfy blanket on his shoulders. You knew better than him! He was cold and didn’t even notice. He sighed, heavy.

“See? I didn’t realise that it was cold. How can I notice that she was unhappy with me when I can’t even notice when the temperature drops”

“Ji, I know it hurts, believe me, I know…”

“Duh! As far as I know, you’ve always been the one to leave.Have you ever been dumped?”

“No, I haven’t but I know how a one side love feels like”.

“You never told me that you were in love with someone that doesn’t love you back…” 

He was talking very slowly, struggling with his pronunciation. He probably won’t remember any of it tomorrow.

“I don’t tell you every single thing that happened to me. Listen, I’ll leave you alone. Text me if you need me, I’ll be here in a second”.

“Nah, stay here and share that bottle of vodka with me”.

He had caught sight of the bottle you were holding with one hand. Sitting by his side, you had handed him the precious liquid. He took a long sip, making an appreciation sound when he was done.

“Aaaah! Thanks, hun. The lost cause is happy”.

Judging by his speech and his general condition, it was far from his first consommation tonight. He was wasted. Once again, you stayed silent. You knew he was having an emotional breakdown right now, you’ve been there yourself. He was so in love with that model and he didn’t see it coming at all, of course he was broken. It was breaking your heart to see him that sad.

“You must be happy, right? You never loved her!”

“You think I’m happy when I can feel your sadness with every cell of my body?”

“You heard me”

“Jiyong, don’t go there. We’ll fight and I don’t want to fight with you”.

“Pfff. I know what you are thinking”.

“You don’t know, stop being like that”.

“Or what?” 

“Or nothing. Just stop. I explained myself many times before. You know why I never loved her. But she seemed to make you happy so I was making great efforts not to get in your way”.

“Ooooh, is this why I didn’t see you the last month or so?”

“Damn, didn't you realize that I had been discreet so as not to harm your relationship with the asshole”?

“I told you, I’m too stupid to realise what’s under my nose. She is right, I didn’t take good care of her”.

“Okay, Ji, that’s enough. She was a manipulative woman, she was using you to boost her own career. You did everything to please her and yet she asked for more. I told you all that before but you didn’t believe me. Next time, trust my intuition. I’m never wrong”.

“I thought you were jealous”.

“I wasn’t jealous. I was mad because she was treating you badly and you refused to see it. But yes, you’re right too. I was jealous… I got to see you less because of her and it hurt. You didn’t even notice that I disappeared from your life, it pissed me not gonna lie”.

“Oh no! Shit. I’m gonna throw up”.

He did throw up for almost 30 minutes outside in the parking lot and even after, when he laid in bed. You couldn’t let him in that state, scared that he might vomit in his sleep and choke on it. That night, you didn’t close your eyes, looking out for him. Wiping his mouth after each puke, cleaning the floor, giving him water, meds and fresh linen for his forehead. You did it because this is how he deserves to be treated. With care and affection.

Just before going back in Seoul, as you were about to close the door of the condo that you had rented for yourself, he appeared behind you and snaked his arms around your chest, in a protective manner.

“Y/n… I want to thank you for staying by my side all this time. I know you wanted to try hitting on Jae but you couldn’t because of me.  Thanks, I really appreciate it. And I’ll invite him over for you to meet again.”

“Don’t mention it, it’s alright. And turns out that Jae is a douche, so forget it”.

“What happened?”

“Well, yesterday morning, he came out of his condo with 2 girls under his arms”.

“What’s the problem? If they all consented…” you closed the door and turned towards him. He was clearly not getting the point here.

“Problem is, he didn’t invited ME”

“Ooooh…. I see”.

“No, you cannot get it. You don’t know what it is because you have never experienced it. All the girls are at your feet. You enter a room and all eyes are on you. Women want you, men want you. Elders want you as their son-in-law. You don’t know what it’s like to feel ugly, unnoticed and unwanted. I’m sorry but you…”

You couldn’t finish your phrase. He stepped towards him and held your face in his chest, whispering soft words in your ears while you cried not so cutely. You felt good, thus wrapped in the comfort of his arms.

“We were 4 women Ji. Fucking 4. He invited 2 of them to his bed, the other one is Youngbae’s girl. You know what it means? Out of the three, I was the fucking last choice. How’s that?”

“I’m sorry hun, I really am. But maybe, he didn’t invite you because you were taking care of me. YES! That must be it. He invited them 2 to replace the only one he wanted to have sex with. See? It takes 2 to replace you!”. He wanted to cheer you up and it was working. 

“You’re silly” you smiled even though you knew he was wrong.

You had calmed down, so you stepped back from him. You were normally not cuddly with each other. Not that you didn’t like the contact, it was just like that. His arms didn’t feel uncomfortable but it was not fun either. The whole situation, the whole week-end was not.

As he looked into your sad eyes, he did the only thing that came into his mind. It was stupid to do but he didn’t had much time to think about it, he acted on an impulse.

“Well, now you will be able to say that you were kissed by the legendary G-Dragon”

And he had leaned in, lifting your chin up with his index. 

What he wanted to be a soft peck became a surprisingly hot and feverish kiss. One that normally leads directly to bed, don’t pass go, don’t claim 200 dollars. Whose tongue was inside the other’s mouth first? He couldn’t tell.  After a short moment, he had withdrawn in shock but when your finger traced the spot on your lips that he just left, he had no choice but to dive in for a second taste.  

It was delicious. He melted into you like ice-cream under the warm sun and so did you. He felt like he belonged next to you, and you next to him. It seemed that your lips were drawn to fit his. That your tongue was made to dance with his. That his hands were the perfect size to circle your waist. Not only your bodies were in perfect harmony, that kiss held the sweetness of your friendship combined with a million loving thoughts. It all condensed into a moment of burning heat.  

He had just felt your boobs pressed against him and your mouth against his neck, a delightful sensation, when you heard someone coming your way. Youngbae was coming out of his condo, he would soon turn the corner and discover you. Unfortunately, you had to split apart. To stop that fire that had ignited. That desire that consumed you. 

“Ji, we shouldn’t have crossed that line…” you pushed him away.

“I know. Let’s forget it happened” he answered in shock, not sure about what just happened and why it was not a good idea. It was so perfect, it couldn’t be a bad thing.

“Good idea” 

It seems that you were equally eager to end the conversation. Obviously, both for different reasons.

“Are you mad, Y/n?” he asked later, in the plane.

“Mad about what?”

“Duh, the kiss!”

“What kiss?” you answered, determined never to think about what had just happened.

To this day, you never said anything about it. It was almost like a faded dream. Did it ever happen? 

Present day

When you had woken up after your little nap close to lunch time, you felt reposed and relaxed. Jiyong was spooning you, his arms clutching onto your waist. His warm chest rose against your back at the rhythm of his soft breathing. On your neck was the most satisfying thing that you ever felt in your life, Jiyong’s warm breath. Smiling, you softly turned around to face him, you needed to look at his perfect face. You made sure to be as quiet and gentle as possible not to wake him up. Unnoticeable like a mouse.

When you faced him, his naked legs automatically intertwined with yours. He dragged you closer to him with one strong arm and your hands landed on his chest. Snuggling your nose against his shirt, you felt butterflies dancing in your stomach, threatening to fly away with your heart on the same occasion.  Was the mornings in his arms always perfect like that?

“Mmmmm hun, you feel good” It was not a question, it was a statement whispered with his lazy voice. One that leaves no place to doubt, hatred or anxiety. A voice that could heal a broken heart and guide another out of the darkest places. 

He knew that it was you in his arms and still, he didn’t flinch. You felt so stupidly good that you had to stand up and leave. It was too perfect. Too intimate. Too soothing. Your heart won’t survive this. For the sake of your mental health, you had to leave now. 

“I have to go Ji, I’ll be late”.

“Already? No, stay a little longer. We’re so comfy”

He hasn't opened his eyes yet, still blurred from sleep. He seemed so peaceful, it was endearing. You didn’t know what was going on with him, but one thing was certain, he hadn’t been himself since last night.  He even had shown small changes in his behavior in recent weeks. 

Brushing these thoughts on the side, you moved away from his arms. You’ll have plenty of time to fall in the downward spiral of sadness later, thinking that you will never be his. That he will never be yours. You escaped the peaceful cocoon you were wrapped in and went out of his bed. Out of his house. Out of your own mind.

Later that day, after your shift

As you arrived at your place, you opened your message app and started to read it. At the same time, you took your shoes off by shaking your feet one by one, over the rug in the hall. Right after your shower when you sat on the couch with a bowl of Japchae, you passed out exhausted.

Meanwhile, Jiyong was upside down. He had spent the day thinking of you, your relationship. He was affirmative, his feelings for you had changed, he was deeply in love with his best friend. There was no doubt in his mind. And he had no idea how you would react to it.

He didn’t want to lose you, but the feeling was so strong now that he accepted it, he had to confess. He needed to. 

Unlike your habit, and the timing couldn’t be more paradoxical, you had left him on read all day. It happened once before but it was because you were too busy with work. Why did it have to happen on a day like today, when he was already so out of his mind. Did you feel him today? Did you realize the changes taking place in him? Was that why you ignored his calls and texts? Were you angry? Maybe you found him too clingy. Maybe he made you feel uncomfortable.  He was going crazy with all these questions when he realised that it was already 2am. It was obvious that he wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. Sighting, he wore his ‘incognito costume’, meaning jogging pants, a hoodie, a face mask and a beanie. Nothing fancy, nothing to expose his identity. Hopefully, the streets will be empty at this time of the night.

He walked around his neighbourhood, wandering. He could only think of you, what your reaction could be when he’ll open his heart to you. He didn’t want to imagine the worst, he couldn’t imagine you rejecting him, his heart felt heavy with pain just at the thought of it. With the consequences that this could bring, the changes to your relationship. We should not dwell on it. He had to go heart first and confess, hoping for the best.

He realized that he was now in front of your apartment block, that he had been walking along your street for a while now, like a stalker. What if something happened bad to you? Just thinking about it made him anxious. He needed to see you, to make sure that first you were safe and warm and second that you were not mad at him. That he didn’t lose you. But why would you be mad? It was a downward spiral of thoughts. It had to stop.

He entered the building with his key, took the elevator and then ran in the hallway impatiently. He couldn’t wait to see you. To tell you. It was a strong and invalidating feeling, he had to confess. His heart had to come back to normal, otherwise he would go crazy.

Unable to wait for you to open the apartment door, he slammed it open. What he discovered inside broke him into pieces, in the best way possible. You were wearing that same old clothes he saw you so often with. That horrible kit that made him hiss in disapproval each time he saw you dressed in. There was nothing he could do to make you stop wearing it. He had tried it all.  Somewhere along the way, he had let go. It was a really good thing, it allowed him to discover you curled up on the couch with untouched food on the table near you. Your hands were hidden in the sleeves of your sweater, joined under your chin. You were so cute, peacefully asleep in your comfort clothes, his heart melted.

He squatted down in front of you and with much tenderness, he caressed your face. He didn’t want to wake you up, he just needed to touch you. He was finally able to breathe. 

You felt his hand on your cheek and automatically, you knew it was Jiyong. You must have been dreaming, you were at your place, alone. Humming with content, you whispered his name with a satisfied smile across your lips and turned to face the other side. 

“Sleep, hun… I’ll wait tomorrow, I can wait now”.

“Ji?” you exclaimed in surprise. “What are you doing here?” you asked as you rub your eyes and opened the light that sat on the low table. When you discovered his features, you jumped off the couch and sat on the floor in front of him. “What’s going on? What happened”.

He didn’t understand what you meant, he didn’t say anything yet 

“Ji, you cried! What happened?”

“I cried? ooooh, yes” patting his face he realized that he did, indeed, have semi-dried tears on his cheeks. So he cried and didn't realize it.

“Why??? What happened?” you asked in a hurry.

“Nothing happened. I just cried…”

“Something must have, you had cried and landed in my living room at 3 am” you cupped his cheeks and started a visual inspection of him. You needed to make sure that he was okay, that nothing happened to him. That he was not sick or hurt physically at least. He found you beautiful.

“I love you”

“Yes Ji, I know… love you too” you answered mindlessly as you scritized his face, concentrating on your inspection.

He grabbed your wrists and held your hands close to his heart. He had started to talk, he couldn’t stop now. He didn’t want to. With all his courage and all the hope he could gather, he repeated.

“Y/n, I love you” 

“...”

“I love you”

You understood what he just said, the words he pronounced but not quite the meaning. You locked eyes with him, searching for an answer to your unspoken question. His beautiful eyes were not sparkling exactly the same way than before. He seemed agitated and peaceful at the same time, it was strange.

“Ji? What’s going on? Are you drunk?”

“Yah… Pabo! Let’s sit more comfortably, I’ll explain”.

You both transferred on the couch, sitting face to face with your knees up under your chin. You held your legs against your chest in a comforting manner. He couldn’t resist the temptation to touch you and he placed a hand flat on your forearm, amazed by your beauty as much as touched by your obvious concern.

“Y/n… Let me talk please”

It made you smile. If the situation would have not been that tensed, you would have laughed your ass out and mock him. 

“I didn’t place a word Ji, I’m waiting for you to explain your interruption in my living room in the middle of the night. I think it’s fair to say that I’m letting you talk”.

“Yes, sorry” he scratched his head with shyness “what I meant was let me talk before you do. But first, why didn’t you answer my calls or texts today? I was scared something happened to you”.

“I figure, sorry Ji. I was dead busy today, couldn’t find the time to eat anything or rest. I took a shower and wanted to call you but the minute I sat on the couch, I fell asleep. I didn’t mean to make you worry”

“Fair enough… and what happened at work today? You had a good day? Did you finally decide to buy yourself a cat?”

“Ji…” you cut him. He was running around the bush and you became impatient. “Ji, tell me. What is it about?”

“I promise you that if you don’t feel the same way, I’ll be okay, I’ll manage to survive. Goodness, I’m petrified”.

While he took his sweet time to say what he had to say, an image was forming in your mind. Did he mean what you think he meant? It couldn’t be possible. Febrile, hope bloomed inside of you.

“Ji… what’s going on?”

“I love you”

The mocking gaze of your best friend was gone. Instead, in his eyes you saw a loving feeling come to life. You read in it doubt and hope. Lots of hope. In his eyes, new sparks you never thought that would shine on for you.  This beautiful vision speaked louder than words.

“I realised lately that you’re the one I want to share my life with. The affection I had, it changed into love. Now, I smile like an idiot when I hear your voice. I melt when you pronounce my name. I want my hands on you all the time. I want to hug you. I want to be a better person and make you proud. I want the world a better place just for you to be more safe. I want to make you happy, just like you make me. I want to kiss you. I want to hold your hand on my way to paradise if it exists, and I want to be born with you again in our next life. Say something please…”

“That hand of mine will hold yours till the end of our life and again in the next one. I promise you that”. 

It was not what he expected to hear. He was so scared that you would reject him, he never thought you would really share his feelings. He just hoped with all his heart, unsure and nervous. Therefore, he was unable to process the words you spoke.

“What?”

You didn’t repeat, instead you leaned in and kissed him, putting all your love in the kiss. The tenderness you feel for him, the passion too. You put all those intentions as your lips sealed with his. Tears went down both your cheeks and mixed together before falling on your clothes.

“You love me?” he asked between the kisses. “For real?” 

He cupped your cheeks with a tenderness that you never felt before. His hands on you was now the only thing that matters.

“Ji, I love you. I love you so much… loved you for years now”.

“Woah, really?”

“Let’s not talk about it yet, we have plenty of time ahead. But yes, I love you. I thought I was so obvious”.

“Not at all, I didn’t realize. I’m sorry love, to realize that you were mine this late”.

“It’s okay Ji, I never thought that you could love me back so I'm more than happy right now. I’m in heaven”.

“Me too”

You looked at each other, smiling shyly.

“I can’t wait to bring you out on our first date. It will be so nice to hold your hand… to show everybody that you are mine, that I’m the luckiest man who got the prettiest girl”.

“Aaaaw Ji”

Your heart was so light but it was beating fast at the same time. You were happy like you were never before. You felt fully and wonderfully alive, loved and overwhelmed. Jiyong’s features told you that he felt the exact same way about you. He had that shy loving smile of his. 

“Ji… Is this for real?”

“I could ask you the same”

“Love of my life…” you whispered as you kissed him a sweet and feverish kiss. You broke contact and plonged your eyes into his “you have no idea how you make me feel right now. I’ve been longing for you, for your kisses and touch all this time. I was loving you in silence and now I can finally touch you. I don’t mean sexually… Just to be able to cup your beautiful face like that and I’m in heaven” you said as you cupped his face and kissed the tip of his nose. 

“I doubt the ‘not sexually’ part but I know exactly how you feel. It seems like you are too far away from me. You would be sitting on my lap and you would still be too far. I’m craving for you”

“Come” you said, standing up. You took his hand in yours and as you walked backwards, you guided him towards your bedroom.  His smile grew bigger.

“Where are we going?”

“You confessed your love to me while I was wearing those clothes that you hate so much. I think it’s only fair that we take them off now… I mean, not to ruin your mood”

“You… you sure?”

“Not a bit… I’m scared that I will deceive you. I’m scared that you will not love what you see…”

“Shhhhh” he stopped you with a kiss “there is no such thing possible. You walked naked so many times before me, I already know all your curves”

“I never walked naked in front of you…”

“You do”

“Nope…”

“all the time…”

“Wanna see what naked is? Let me show you” you took your clothes off in the speed of light, exposing your naked forms in front of him. “See? Have you ever seen me naked like that before?”

He smiled a cocky smile and pushed the clothes that were on the floor with his foot. He didn’t answer your question; instead, he held out a trembling hand, the only clue of the fire roaring in him. He put it flat on the side of your neck. His touch was delicate and full of love. You felt his raw emotion in the way he was touching you, looking at you.  He couldn't believe he was so lucky. That you were his and you felt the same.

“I love what I see. I love every inch of that body because it’s yours. I will love and cherish it until the day I die”

A single tear fell down off your eyes. There was no cloud under your sky and if ever you meet some along the way, you will certainly find a way to overcome it. Of that, you had no doubt. 

“I love you Jiyong”

“I love you Y/n”

Without another word, he lifted you from the ground and transported you to you to your bed. With all the love he had, and all the love you had too, you started your new life together in the most beautiful way possible.

[vannahfanfics]

Dawn and Dusk Part IV

Before you read, here’s Part I, Part II, and Part III!

Category: Romantic Fluff, Angst

Fandom: Yona of the Dawn

Characters: Yona, Soo-Won

Requested By: Yonawon (Ao3), Snowbunny (Ao3), and Yona (Ao3)

“Ah!” Yona exclaimed when fiery, red-hot pain rocketed from her shoulder down her arm as she reached for a book atop a towering, wobbly stack of tomes. She retracted her hand on instinct, and as the stretched, overworked muscles shortened, the rapid fire of her nerves dwindled to steady, persistent pulses translating into dull, throbbing pain. Her other hand reached around her back to caress the skin over her shoulder blade. She winced as her fingertips skimmed over the surface of her back; even the nerves supplying the skin were irritated, making dull pain flare under her touch. 

“I guess this is my body telling me that I’ve been working too hard,” she sighed and dropped her hand to her side. The other, she let down slowly, not wishing to aggravate the already tender muscles. She cradled it to her side protectively, putting her shoulder in the most comfortable position possible— holding her arm to her chest so the effects of gravity didn’t pull against the muscles of her upper arm and shoulder. “I can’t do much work like this,” she pouted and looked around. 

It had been many days since Yona had been at Kouka Castle. After a whirlwind of events, she had found herself appointed Soo-Won’s personal assistant; they both knew it was Yona’s way of keeping tabs on the young king and ferreting out his plans. Yet, Soo-Won either didn’t care whether Yona discovered his goals for herself or not, or believed them to be so well-guarded that Yona couldn’t possibly pierce the deepest recesses of his scheming mind. Whatever the case, Yona had set to poring through the volumes upon volumes of books within Soo-Won’s personal study, hoping that one of them contained at least one shred of information that could illuminate at least some aspect of his endgame. 

Though Yona had spent nearly every evening for the past fortnight rifling through the countless pages, reading paragraph upon paragraph and word upon word, none of her efforts had borne fruit. She frowned, experimentally palming at her sore shoulder once more. She winced at the fiery pain that spiderwebbed through the network of nerves tracking to her spine. No, if Yona spent any more time tonight forcing herself to continue on, she would be lucky if tomorrow she could move her arm at all— and she could not afford such a delay. 

“I must rest,” she told herself sternly, “so that tomorrow I can get through twice as many books.” A bold promise, one she was not sure she could follow through on, but one she made regardless. She had to will herself to stop somehow, after all. Sighing, she forced herself to stand. Her knees groaned and cracked in protest, too, as she had been kneeling for many hours. She couldn’t help but smile wanly at herself. Hak and the others would scold me something fierce for working this hard, she thought. Yoon would probably make me spend a whole day in bed!

Thinking of her friends sent a cold barb of ice through her heart. Though as of late she’d managed to see them more, the fact that she was still relatively isolated never ceased to cause her pain. Loneliness was one of the greatest pains of all, she’d learned. Her eyes drifted to Soo-Won’s desk, where a royal decree lay half-scrawled, the ink long dry, and the pain coursed through her anew. Though she missed her friends dearly, Yona would be remiss not to admit that she felt the loneliness when in the presence of the man she loved so much yet could never have. 

She was the dawn, and he was the dusk; so alike were they, but yet they never could exist in the same sky. Such a thing was an abhorrence of nature, a cataclysm waiting to happen. Yet that didn’t keep Yona from reaching out with her sunbeams, catching what kiss of the moon she could before her day faded into his night. Back and forth, push and pull, fleeting glimpses of fierce desire that fizzled out into sparks as they were painfully reminded of their place— that was how Yona and Soo-Won were forced to exist, now and forever. 

Why am I thinking of such things? She thought wearily, running the hand of her good arm over her face. It only made her sad and confused and tired. Bath… I need a bath, she decided tiredly. A warm soak would also do well for her strained muscles. She shuffled through the very slim pathway through the towering stacks of books, careful not to bump the precipitously arranged heaps with her hips. She made it to the door without incident, though she was a little winded. She took a moment to catch her breath, still nursing her throbbing shoulder. 

If I remember right, she thought when she finally opened the door and crept out into the empty halls, the closest baths are this way. 

She set off down the hall, with only the moonlight for company. It streamed in through the many windows lining the stone halls, white rays rippling into her dawn-colored hair to dye it a shining rose-gold. The moon kissed her form like a tender lover, not unlike the man embodying the cold, fading light of dusk that had embraced Yona three times now for that same reason. She shuddered as she felt the ghosts of his kisses on her lips, her skin— even now she longed for that pale touch, that white kiss of the moon, though it was wrong of her. 

She wondered which was stronger, the light of the sun or the shine of the moon. Would Yona’s dawn brilliance eventually force Soo-Won into surrender, bringing Kouka into an age of peaceful, warm sunlight? Or would Soo-Won triumph to spill dusk across the land, with the dull shine of the moon a false light belying the shadow under threat? She supposed it didn’t matter. For the sake of her people, the dawn must prevail over the dusk, she told herself. 

Even if she longed for that dusk, for the kiss of the moon washing over her and showering her in brilliant starlight love.

The moon was absent from the sky, she noticed, as she stepped out into the palace gardens. The stars even seemed to have lost some of their glow, twinkling weakly against the indigo backdrop of the atmosphere. The weak gleam reflected off the frosted glass panes of an outdoor bath pavilion surrounded by hedges cut into spirals, their leaves dyed green-blue in the gloom. A cool breeze rustled the plants and grasses and Yona’s dress as she padded down the round stone path to the pavilion. Its door squeaked when she opened it, long and ominous, like she was unwelcome. Inside, the starlight kaleidoscoped through the watery glass to spill over the bath, illuminating the white tiles and refracting on the ornate spout system in the wall, a mosaic of a woman with shining gold hair bathing in a forest stream. 

Yona loosened her gown as she walked to the mosaic, turning the knobs. Warm water burst forth, barreling into the empty pool on the floor of the bathhouse. Yona kneeled at the edge as it filled, watching the steam rise through the air in wispy white tendrils to cloud the frosted glass panes. It only made the starlight refract more, sending the beams spearing down in thin lines to pattern the bathhouse like raining diamonds. It was oddly beautiful, in a way, though Yona still felt discomfited without the moon. 

The air was steamy and warm by the time the bath filled and Yona flipped off the tap. She shimmied out of her dress— carefully to avoid tweaking her injured shoulder— and folded it up to lay it on a nearby bench. Then she slipped down into the water. She couldn’t help the unabashed moan that bubbled up in her chest as the warm, slightly bubbly water enveloped her body. It felt like it was leaching the weariness from her body like withdrawing a poison; she was surprised she didn’t see black tendrils leaving her body. She sunk down to her shoulders, drawing another, higher-pitched moan from within her; the warm water worked into her tightened muscles, teasing them apart with gentle encouragement. She found that she could even move it somewhat with it buoyed by the water, though dull pain still throbbed within the sensitized fibers. 

She slowly tipped her head back to dip her head under the surface. She hummed as the water kissed her scalp and soaked her dawn-colored locks, further filling her with a sense of contentment. There really was nothing like a good bath to clear your mind, she thought blissfully and fluttered her eyes closed. She listened to the gentle ebb and flow of the bathwater sloshing against the sides of the tub and the small drops dripping from the tap plunking into the water. Bathed in starlight, Yona relaxed for what felt like the first time in years, allowing all of her troubles to leach out into the warm, steamy water surrounding her being. For just a few precious moments she could pretend that she was adrift in a warm summer sea, slave only to the tides and wind to wander where should would. No destination, no worries— only the vastness of the open sea. 

Yet in the endless ocean, storms materialized when you least expected them. 

“Yona?” 

She splashed in the water, whirling around to face the entrance of the bathhouse. Her foot slipped on the slick bottom of the tub; she shouted on instinct, causing her mouth to fill with the warm water when she fell backwards. Her arms flailed at the surface, and she came back up spluttering and pink-faced from the heat of the water. Through the water droplets arcing in front of her face, she could see Soo-Won staring at her in confusion, standing in the bath with the water just lapping at his waist. It seemed he’d entered the bath without realizing that she was there at first, then happened to see her at the end of the pool. 

Yona squatted down in the water while covering her chest, her face turning nearly as red as her hair. She was so shocked that she didn’t even register the spike of pain that rocketed down her arm. 

“S-Soo-Won!” she squeaked, still trying to process his sudden appearance. “Wh-what are— H-how— I-I…” Her hands constantly roamed over her body, feeling exposed despite the steaming water covering her. Soo-Won continued to stare owlishly at her for a few seconds, then realized she was in fact naked and hastily turned to the side, one hand over his blushing face. 

“... This bath is reserved for the king only,” he informed her quietly. “I didn’t expect anyone to be here… I thought that Kye-Sook had started the bath, since he knew I was coming here.” 

Yona sank down into the water until only her eyes floated above the surface, like a frog perched in a pond, to hide the embarrassed look that appeared on her face. How could she have forgotten a detail like that? I can’t believe this… Me, naked in Soo-Won’s private bath? How mortifying! She lamented. She stewed in the water for a second before slowly popping her head up again. 

“I… seem to have mistaken this for the general royal baths. My apologies. I’ll leave immediately.” Blushing at the awkwardness of the entire debacle, she crab-walked across the bottom of the pool. Soo-Won walked to the middle of the bath, keeping a respectful distance to the princess. However, she could feel his eyes boring into her form, and the water felt like it was boiling around her with how hot her body became. She hovered at the edge of the pool, unable to climb out to retrieve her clothes with his heady stare. She could hear the water swishing as he slowly moved closer, and the heat rose and rose until her body felt like it was on fire. Just as she chanced a glance over her shoulder, Soo-Won suddenly grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her down under the water. 

Yona immediately panicked, but Soo-Won kept her from flailing by grabbing her arms and forcing them flat to her sides. This sent shockwaves of pain sparking through her shoulder, making her release a pained scream under the water. Through the bubbles swirling in front of her face, she could see Soo-Won looking over his shoulder, his mouth moving. He’s talking to someone! She realized, and the fear flushed from her body. He wasn’t trying to drown her; he was trying to keep the newcomer from realizing that she was there! Despite the instinctual urge to swim to the surface, she forced herself to squat there under the water. Just as her lungs began to burn with the need for oxygen, Soo-Won looped his hands under her armpits and hauled her up. 

“I’m sorry, Yona,” he apologized as she slumped against him, coughing and hacking. “Kye-Sook came so suddenly. It would be troublesome if you were seen like this…” Yona only nodded weakly in understanding. As she did so, the pain in her shoulder flared anew, making her grasp it reflexively. “Yona? Are you injured?” he asked, concern lacing his voice. 

“It wasn’t you,” she reassured, her voice still scratchy from the warm water that had flooded her throat at her sudden dunking. “I strained my arm in the study… I came here to soak, to try to make it feel better.” He hummed thoughtfully, a hand ever-so-gently skimming over the skin of her shoulder. She twitched at the touch, even just his fingertips eliciting pain. She looked back to her kimono folded on the bench, within reach yet so far away. “Soo-Won, I should— ahh …!” 

Her words cut off in a surprised gasp when she felt his lips press into her shoulder. He lavished the inflamed muscles with tender kisses, peppering over her shoulder blade before circling over her shoulder and then back down. One of his hands spread over her belly, pressing her back against him, while the other gently grasped her chin to turn her face to the side to allow him more access. A low moan coiled in Yona’s throat at his feathery lips grazing over her skin, sending sparks of pleasure shooting through every nerve in her body. 

“You’re already here,” he purred into her skin, the tip of his tongue flicking over her shoulder and making her shudder. “Why not stay with me, as you promised before?” 

“ Soo-Won ,” she groaned. His kisses grew deeper, rougher, needier . The fog was descending over her mind again, that heady desire to just submit to the love she’d nursed for years and years, that need to escape from their reality for just one moment. Her breaths left her body in soft pants and her eyelids fluttered as he began kissing up her neck, nipping at her flesh with his teeth before kissing it tenderly to soothe the tingling skin. “Please,” she pleaded, though she wasn’t sure what for. She was so dizzy and light-headed; it was so hot, the steam didn’t have enough oxygen to fill her breaths, it felt like. Then there was Soo-Won lighting a fire under her skin, his arm tightening around her middle to pull her up onto her tip-toes so he could lavish her neck further in hot, messy kisses. 

“I want you so badly ,” he whispered in her ear, breath hot and heavy against the side of her head. She could feel the pain in his voice; it was the same pain that gripped her in these moments, like vicious claws carving deep scours into her heart. “The world is cruel, Yona, so cruel .” Her head fell back against his shoulders as his head dipped down to begin kissing her collarbones and the top of her breast. “No matter how much I want you, I know that we can never be, and that is what vexes me the most,” he whispered against her skin, and then she felt the tears drip from his lashes and onto her body. 

“I know,” she whispered, turning her face into his long tresses of golden hair. Pale, like the moon trying its best to mimic the radiant gold of the sun but falling so utterly short. He was the dusk, clinging to the light of day with such desperate hands, but she would slip from his fingers soon enough— she always did as the air cleared and reminded her of their painful reality. Soo-Won seemed to sense the fog of her mind clearing, as he peeled himself away from her— but not before noticing the large scar stretching down her back. His fingers skimmed over the marred skin, in reverence, in wonder, in horror? She wasn’t sure. 

“I hate what has become of us,” he sighed and began kissing the skin around her scar. Yona’s eyes fluttered, tears squeezing through her eyelids to stream down her cheeks, and allowed herself just a few more moments to savor Soo-Won’s touch. He worshipped her like a goddess, like a fleeting dream, like a hope about to evaporate between his fingers. “Yet this is always what we were going to become, wasn’t it?” 

“I don’t know,” she said, opening her eyes to look at the frosted glass panes in the ceiling. The starlight shone within the wispy white of the glass, trying its best to pierce the veil and bathe her in dusk. But Yona was the dawn, and she could never exist in the light of the dying and diminished sun. She was always meant to exist among the fire, among the light, among the day. Soo-Won was her opposite, her antithesis, her beautiful paradox. He belonged here among the stars and the night, bathed in the white glow. 

He pressed one last kiss between her shoulder blades as she pulled away from him; she slipped loosely through his arms, as he offered no resistance. 

“I must go,” she informed him, with more weight behind her words this time. “Kye-Sook will surely come back if you linger here too long… Like you said, it would be troublesome if I was discovered here like this.” When she gripped the edge of the pool, he turned around, giving her the privacy to slip back into her dress this time. The water cascaded from her form as she rose from the pool and soaked into her dress when she slipped it on her person; it made her skin cold as it evaporated. The chill washed over her like the moon had sapped all her warmth, but that was all right. Yona was the raging fire of the dawn; by the morning she would be blazing anew, spilling the red-gold light of the sun for all to see. 

Like the dusk clinging to its last glimpse of the sun, Soo-Won watched her with sad blue eyes as she left the bathhouse, taking the last rays of light with her. The clouds had drifted over the sky, snuffing out even the stars. 

~~~~~~~~~~

When Yona arose the following morning, she found that her shoulder had improved considerably despite the excitement in the bathhouse. She massaged the rest of the ache out of the muscles as her attending ladies set to dressing her as they did every morning. When she dropped her slip down her body, the ladies began to replace it with a new one, but suddenly gasped. 

“What is it?” Yona blinked in confusion, looking back to the maid. She was pink-faced and holding a hand to her lips; she averted her eyes at Yona’s inquisitive gaze, seemingly unwilling to speak. “What’s wrong?” 

“M-my lady… You have strange… bruises ?” the maid explained tentatively. Yona’s eyebrows shot up her forehead, and then she looked into the mirror. Her face immediately blazed red when she spotted the purple spots littering her shoulder, neck, and upper chest. Soo-Won—! She realized in mortification. The maid knew full well those were not bruises dotting Yona’s skin, but had the wherewithal not to accuse Yona of any indecency. Yona swallowed thickly, then cleared her throat to regain some sense of dignity. 

“Ah, yes,” she said. “I slipped in the bath last night; it seems I bumped myself more than I thought. There’s no reason to worry,” she assured the maid with a smile. The handmaiden looked unsure, but nodded in acceptance of Yona’s poor excuse. The princess tried not to allow her discomfort to show on her face as the maid finished dressing her. 

That snake knew exactly what he was doing, she grumped half-heartedly. Marking me like that… The audacity! 

Yet as much as she internally complained, Yona could feel those marks blooming on her skin like full moons, a cool reminder of the fierce love blooming amidst cool fate— of the dusk clinging so desperately to the dawn, wanting to pull that red light into the shadows for itself. 

Would Yona be able to escape, or would she succumb to that magnetic draw, unable to resist the temptation of the beautiful moon? No. No matter how much her heart yearned for Soo-Won, she could not subject her country and her people to a world without dawn. Her heart heavy, she marched back toward the study, eager to dive back into the tomes and search once again for anything, anything that could illuminate Soo-Won’s mysterious motives for usurping her throne, for throwing the cycle of dawn and dusk into disarray. 

Enjoy this oneshot? Here’s Part V! Feel free to peruse my Table of Contents!

[bobdylanrevisited]

Blood On The Tracks

Released: 20 January 1975

Rating: 10/10

Often regarded as Dylan’s greatest album, and potentially the greatest album of all time, it’s hard to disagree. Released on Columbia Records following Bob starting a relationship with an employee whilst his marriage to Sara was crumbling following the 1974 tour, the record is actually two different recording sessions. One was in New York, with a much more mellow feel, the other was in Minneapolis with a backing band, following Dylan’s brother stating that the New York songs sounded too similar. Whilst the original recordings are available on the Bootleg Series Vol. 14: More Blood, More Tracks, and are fucking fantastic in their own right, the final product is a thing of inconceivable genius. It’s an album that perfectly captures the turbulence of divorce, love, longing, and self reflection, and is easily the most beautifully written collection of songs ever released.

1) Tangled Up In Blue - Once again, Bob opens the album with one his best ever compositions. A non-linear tale of love and loss which would rival the postmodern writing style of Kerouac and Ginsberg. The story he tells here is both sweet and tragic, filled with nostalgia and longing for a companion. Potentially partially biographical in nature, the lyrics are among his very best, relatively simple at face value, but filled with references and meaning that could take a lifetime to fully digest. His voice continues to sound more mature and even quite commercial, though his brilliant nasal twang is still present, particularly when he hits the title line. This Minneapolis version is astonishing, it may be the perfect song, though the slower and more chilled out New York recording is equally as brilliant. Although for me the defining performance is the one found on his 1984 live album ‘Real Live’, which completely alters most of the lyrics, something Bob carries on doing to this day.

2) Simple Twist Of Fate - A beautiful track about the cruel nature of fate and losing a soul mate. The song talks of the life cycle of a relationship, through metaphor and abstract imagery that wouldn’t be amiss on ‘Blonde On Blonde’, and feels like a dream sequence that ends with waking up alone and confused. The walking bass in the background and soft acoustic strumming create a relaxed and almost floaty tune that only elevates the vivid lyrics. As this is the ‘divorce’ album, the song ends with the lover being gone and Dylan deep in regret, and whilst he says this record is based on the work of Chekhov, I believe this is how Bob viewed and dealt with his separation. Sara came into his life through fate, and he let her slip through his fingers, it’s a moving song that is drenched in a need to understand the confusing and painful side of love.

3) You’re A Big Girl Now - Bob is begging for forgiveness here, promising to change and asking to be taken back as he sings through tears. I do take issue with the idea of Bob saying it pains him to see Sara walking away from him given his infidelity, however he does accept that it is entirely her decision and he is pleading his case. Ultimately, despite the brilliant performance Bob gives of desperation and pain, along with some great piano and guitar playing from his band, I do think this is the weakest song on the album due to the lyrics bordering on self pitying. It’s still a great song, I just don’t think Dylan comes across the best here. The rest of the record focuses on either anger, sadness, or regret, whereas here it seems he’s focusing on himself and almost being absolved of his own wrongdoings.

4) Idiot Wind - Though Bob claims this isn’t about the causes of the breakdown of his marriage, I think we all can take that to mean that it definitely is. It also happens to be the best song on the album, Bob is snarling his way through an epic poem of accusations and falsehoods, betrayal and bitterness. It harks back to his finger pointing songs of 10 years earlier, and it doesn’t hold punches against the press and those who had been circulating rumours about both him and Sara. It’s fucking amazing, Bob sounds genuinely enraged and yet also confused at the exaggerated actions he’s having to defend or downplay. Not only are the lyrics both chaotic and fascinating, the organ playing is superb. Throughout the 7:47 minute song, every time Bob sings ‘Idiot Wind’ it’s like a direct insult to those who meddled in his relationship, as well as another nail in the coffin of his once happy marriage.

5) You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go - It’s been argued as to whom was making Bob lonesome, is it Sara or his Columbia girlfriend? Either way, it’s quite a happy sounding song that’s actually a heartbreaking tale of loss and reluctance to accept life moving on. Bob invokes the poets Verlaine and Rimbaud’s turbulent relationship, with Bob very much being the Rimbaud of the 20th Century, to describe the breakdown of love and happiness leading to feeling alone and self-reflection. As with the whole album, the backing band sound great alongside Bob’s relaxed vocal style and joyous harmonica, and the song creates a tragic feeling of putting on a brave, upbeat facade as life goes on. It’s undeniably becoming much sadder and, as the title suggests, much more lonesome, but Bob attempts to carry on and learn from his mistakes. It’s a hard message to convey in under 3 minutes, but Bob’s pained and honest writing from this period manages it perfectly.

6) Meet Me In The Morning - Musically, this is the best song on the album. All the instruments have a brilliant bluesy feel to them, and Dylan’s voice matches this style, with his nasal tone elongating phrases and making him sound like the blues singers of old. From what I can gather, the protagonist of the song is asking his lover to a rendezvous, but waits from dawn to dusk with no appearance from her. Throughout the song he wishes they could be elsewhere, and compares his love and longing to the darkness of the night and the setting of the sun. It’s a difficult song to unpack as Dylan is the master of mysterious and metaphorical storytelling, but understanding every line really doesn’t matter here. The song itself is a joy to listen to, proving that Dylan shouldn’t just be applauded for his lyricism, but also his ability to compose and record with various musicians to achieve a specific and memorable sound.

7) Lily, Rosemary And The Jack Of Hearts - I’ll quickly mention that Dylan and his harmonica sound amazing on this song, as do the backing band who evoke the sound and atmosphere of the cabarets of old. However, it would be impossible to do the lyrics to this song justice in one small paragraph. This song is the ‘Desolation Row’ of the album, a sprawling epic poem featuring a host of characters in various criminal and romantic encounters. It’s an incredible piece of work, more interesting and exciting than most of what we see on the silver screen. I urge you to fully immerse yourself into the world Dylan creates here, as for nearly 9 minutes, he and his band weave a perfect story worthy of Homer.

8) If You See Her, Say Hello - This song reminds me of ‘Girl From The North Country’. It’s about passing on well wishes to a former lover, letting them know you’re still thinking about them, even though they’ve left your life and moved on. The lyrics are heartbreaking, as Bob remarks that the love still burns within him, but he wants to ensure this information isn’t passed on to her. A brilliantly moving and desperate song once again, with another beautiful backing arrangement and a pained voice longing to rekindle what he has lost.

9) Shelter From The Storm - A love song that focuses on being saved, clearly Bob is talking about Sara and his needing to be rescued from the hurricane of fame, drugs, and parting of 1965 when they met. It’s a romantic story featuring religious imagery, showing Bob’s true feelings towards how he viewed himself and the period of life that was now being ripped apart by his actions. The near angelical way he describes Sara, and his ending thoughts on how he still feels about her nurturing and caring personality, are a far cry from some of the earlier tracks on the album, but this feels like perhaps the most personal song on the record. The stripped back instrumentation allow the bittersweet lyrics to take centre stage, with Bob again sounding much more mature and accessible with his relaxed vocal style. Whilst this version is incredible, I’d also recommend the live 1976 recording on ‘Hard Rain’. The song is much rockier, Bob barks the lyrics, and it sounds fucking brilliant.

10) Buckets Of Rain - The album closes with a genuinely lovely track, both simple and sweet as it addresses a lover. The melody is delicate and Dylan’s singing is soft and full of warmth. There’s not much else to say about this beautiful song, other than it feels like Bob showing us that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and that everything will work out in the end.

Verdict: I could happily just listen to this album until the day I die. If Dylan going electric is the most important musical moment of the 1960s, then this release is the 1970s equivalent. It’s pure art, it captures a feeling most struggle to internally process, let alone articulate in such a poetic and moving way at only 33 years old. The lyricism on this one record alone proves Bob is the greatest poet of the 20th Century. Even the outtakes from this album, especially ‘Up To Me’, are better than most artists creative peak. This may be Dylan’s most personal record (despite his insistence that it is not autobiographical), and I imagine it will be studied for centuries to come as his magnum opus. In typical Bob style, he would bizarrely head out on an exhaustive tour called the ‘Rolling Thunder Revue’, playing at small venues with a band that resembled a circus show, whilst his family life continued to disintegrate. But before he managed to capture the spirit of these carnival-esque performances, he gave permission for some mythical recordings from 1967 to finally be released.

[nautiscarader]

Jarik Zekk: Hi, I would kindly ask for a Judy/Nick snugglefuck story, where there is a huge storm (maybe in Zootopia, maybe in the woods and they seek shelter in a hut) and they snuggle under blankets to cuddle and Nick feeds her his carrot (either down there or in her mouth or even both gasp); special request: slow, intense dicking

Also, if you can work it in, make Judy the one who seeks the initial cuddles

I bless the rains, Wildehopps, 1.4k, E

(Ao3)

===============================

- Not quite the idyllic picnic date, is it, Nick? - Yeah, should have checked the weather app...

Nick didn't have to look through the small window of their cabin to see if the ugly weather has passed. The sound of heavy raindrops banging on the sill was enough.

- Weather report is one thing, but as a cadet, you should have remembered that Rainforest District has those rainfalls every now and then... - Well, that will teach me to always reveal the location for our surprise dates to you.

A wide, sly smile appeared on Nick's face, just as Judy was about to reprimand him some more, but instead, upon seeing it, she just rolled her eyes and gave up. One good thing about choosing a date in one of the most communication-challenged districts of their city was that it was well prepared for stranded tourists whose cars have broken down or got stuck in the mud, offering cabins to rent for relatively small price. Judy even liked it, as it reminded her of her first, small apartment she rented, with the small bathroom and a single bed...

The constant noise from outside made her feel relaxed, but only when she leaned her head against Nick's should and moved in place as if she tried to bury herself in him.

- Judy? - Cuddles.

She mewled at once, drawing the blanket over their bodies, waiting for his arms to close around her. And when they did, her body arched and she let out a prolonged, languorous moan of satisfaction, while her boyfriend bend his arms and legs to create a cocoon for her to nestle in.

Judy breathed in the alluring mixtures of smells, from petrichor, through multitude of flowers and plants that surrounded the series of cabins, to a pleasant fragrance of Nick's cologne...

And then she smelled another one, which set all her nerve endings on fire, even before her conciousness recognised it. And when she did, it was already too late. Her instincts were too slow, and she has fallen into her predator's trap.

Nick's paws circled around her body, pressing her gently against his, which only intensified the throbbing feeling Judy could experience through her shorts.

- Niiick... - she let out another prolonged murmur, knowing very well she won't change his mind, nor his nature. - What? I thought you wanted *cuddles*... - Cuddles, yes, but not th-this...

Her voice broke when his paw slipped to her underbelly, carefully waiting for her body's response. And when Judy surrendered, without closing her thighs, he slipped forward.

- Mhm, you were right, it was a bad idea... - Nick whispered into her ear - The bush is so damp... and wet... - N-Nick... so-someone is in the cabin next to us...

With her mind already hazed with lust, Judy moaned, wriggling in place, partially to try acting a bit more reasonable, and partially to give her fox a taste of a prey trying to escape from his trap.

- It didn't stop us from doing it in your old place. And you know how thin were the walls there... - Nick whispered - Besides, they don't know us...

The blanket that covered their bodies moved erratically like a flag torn by wind, while their limbs fought with each other, trying to deal with their pants that stood in way to their heats. And when Judy turned her head so that Nick's lips could find hers, the battle was over. Judy felt his cock slide between her pussy, and only thanks to his mouth, she didn't scream.  

Her body shivered and her paw pressed his throbbing length against her soaking opening, watching as his eyes widen from the overwhelming sensations... And when their paws met, the two decided to do it at the same time, pressing his cock against her entrance, while her strong legs made her sink onto him.

Judy's back arched again, at the same time as his hips began working, filling her time after time with his hot, vulpine cock. But it wasn't just his length that drove her wild; his lips and teeth caressed her shoulder and neck, while his paw circled between her legs, not only massaging her clit, but also feeling himself underneath her skin, stretching her small frame.

- I'm gonna make you rain...

Nick growled into her ear, feeling shivers across her body as his paw moved in more and more erratic way against her clit. With his arms on her sides, trapping her, Judy couldn't do much with her paws, other than to press them against his throbbing knot and balls. With each second of their slow, but powerful fucking, she felt that he was diving a fraction of an inch closer, and she wanted to think that her pressure on his organ attributed to that.

As their orgasms inevitably closed on them, her legs coiled with his, knowing that she will have exceptional difficulties staying silent, hoping it would at least help her dissipate the energy that will soon be bursting through her body. And a moment before it happened, Nick offered one more promise.

- And in turn, I will flood you, like a monsoon...

His words helped him mask his final push, resulting in a sharp cry Judy let out when his bulbous knot stretched her body for the final time, locking him safely inside her sex that started spasming and quaking, much like her legs. Their joined paws felt the warm wetness of her juices staining the sheets, while Judy kept letting out cries with each batch of warm, thick seed that flooded her sex.

For a solid minute, Judy's body shook and quaked against his, her mouth desperately seeking his for solace, and when her trembling stopped, she was met with her boyfriend's sly grin of satisfaction plastered all over his handsome snout.

- Say it. - Really? - he raised his brow - Niiick... - she groaned, moving her body against his, as much as she could, being impaled on his cock.

Nick smiled and complied, letting Judy indulge in one her favourite kinks.

- So, now we will be inseparable, with my knot stuck deep down, safe in your pussy, as I pour my seed into your womb, to ensure that you have been bred properly... - Yes...

Judy moaned, and another, shallow wave of pleasure shook her body, while Nick explained, for the thousandth time, the intricacies of his biology. It all started when he first knotted her, and though Judy knew about the process, she was still shocked how long it sometimes took for his knot to disengorge, giving them ample time to cuddle, kiss, and on few occasions worry about lack of condom.

- It's a good thing I didn't tell my knot you're on the pill, so it can still do his job. - Mhm... - Judy nodded, feeling another burst of hot seed warming her insides - And how long will it take? - Usually ten to twenty minutes. - he replied with the answer she knew already. - I wish we could stay like that for hours... - Me too. - he sneaked another kiss to her shoulder.

Nick actually noticed that ever since he started having sex with Judy, his knotting lasted more and more, sometimes reaching up to half an hour, as his body correctly recognised Judy as his mate, so her wish wasn't that unreasonable. But for now, the two could enjoy their moment of intimacy, as the warmth of their bodies, combined with the smells and sounds lulled them into sleep.

An hour later, Judy found that she was indeed still connected with her lover, as it was that tiny inconvenience that disturbed her sleep. Hearing his light snores, she gently lifted herself off him, staining his fur with leaked streaks of white that he's been pouring inside her, and carefully stepped around him to go to the bathroom for some toilet paper.

But then she remembered that she had far, far better way of cleaning up his mess, and she leaned down to face his cock and smell his alluring, appetising musk. She dragged her tongue across his fur, collecting the globs of seed that seeped from her already overflowing sex and began placing gentle kisses along his length. By the time she reached his head, his knees jerked, and she heard his voice above her head.

- Well, someone is hungry. - he smiled - Good thing I packed a carrot for you. - Actually, with all that screaming, my throat is dry - Judy replied, imitating ragged voice - And I want some carrot juice...

Nick smiled, threw his head into the pillow and let his girlfriend engage in the facsimile of their picnic. And as she worshipped his length more and more, Nick congratulated himself for checking the weather app to know exactly when the heavy rains will fall...

[morifinwes]

i was tagged by @underaswift-sunrise! thank you!!

1. flowers or chocolate?

chocolate!

2. between day and night i prefer:

night, i'm a lot more active then and not as stressed

3. my favorite drink:

honestly idk, i used to really like sprite and i still do?

4. between sunrise and sunset i prefer:

mhm i like both but recently i really liked the sunsets? they looked incredibly beautiful and somewhat destructive? like uh last week? or two weeks ago, it looked like an apocalypse, with all this golden shimmer (which was not only the sky but everything looked really yellow/goldish). then there where these storm clouds this week and the others were so soft and pink painted by the sun and wow!!

5. between dogs and cats, i prefer:

i'm a dog lover first & human second

6. the vegetable i hate most:

kohlrabi i think? that bitch can go and choke

7. my favorite sound:

laughter i think? and rain against the window, very cliché but fire cracking, and just idk?

8. the first thing i notice about people:

i like to think i notice people's eyes first? i'm often instantly drawn to someone's eyes but i'm also not that sure?

9. what would you prefer, horror or fantasy?

fantasy!!

10. what city or town would you like to live in?

it used to be cities like london etc. but now i would just.... like to live in the countryside at the sea and live a peaceful life there?

11. what i value most in life:

now my first thought was my family, i love them a lot even if we have our differences, but i also value my few friends a lot. ig just love in general? even if i don't always think i deserve it

12. if i could learn any skill, it'd be:

i would like to be able to draw but also uhh idk literally playing any instrument? ajdksks i don't really know

13. between beach and the mountains i prefer:

beach!! not california-beach like but more like northern-germany beaches? idk they have this weird feeling of belonging

14. my hidden talent:

the first thing i wanted to say was fencing, i did that a couple of years ago and i was pretty decent at it, i'm a fairly good swimmer too although a bit out of practice. so i would say.... i'm actually extremely good with dogs!

15. rainy day or sunny day?

depends on my mood, but sunny days with wind are always welcome!! but i also like soft rain, which fits because it usually rains a lot here actually?

16. how i relax after a hard day:

some alone time always helps me, listening to music, reading something, writing or just thinking about some things

17. how many piercings i have:

i don't have any yet!

18. i like makeup:

i actually don't, at least on myself because i suck at it

19. my height:

176cm (5"8/5"9) i think?

21. my birthday:

5th january

22. video games or social media:

video games! i feel awkward and kinda uncomfortable on social media tbh

23. i've visited outside of my country:

i have, with my family! we went to the netherlands when i was a kid and occasionally go there still, we went to belgium once but i don't remember much of it? uh switzerland!! we have friends there and we visited them. we don't really travel outside the country tho, so i think that's it?

24. do you follow some celebrities' fashion?

i don't

25. what do you think about your fashion sense?

easy, it's nonexistent. as long as it's black i will most likely wear it

26. you can do your makeup properly:

absolutely not, my friends can but i don't

27. you go or used to go to school with makeup on:

not really, no

28. what color suits you best?

black & red i would say? i mostly wear black and often there is some red in it, so it goes together pretty well

i tag:

@feanor @marta-elentari @solntserises @keepyourlife @myfandomsruinedmylife @meredithsdardenne @tired-but-motivated @absynthe--minded

[thefallenofbajhiri]

Never Ending Survey: Toshi

Rules: Repost, do not reblog. Tag 10 blogs!

Tagged by: @gildedandgolden​

tagging: Everyone I wanted to tag was already tagged but I shall throw in a few peeps AKA @benes-diction​ @theaetherhealerffxiv​ and @talechaser-ffxiv​ <3

basics.

FULL NAME: Toshinaku ‘Bajhiri’ formerly known as Sozoh’a Bajhiri

NICKNAME: Toshi by just about everyone really, he prefers it to his full name most of the time.

AGE:  Unknown, Looks to be in his Early to Mid Twenties. He is a voidsent after all, Age means nothing to him.

BIRTHDAY: 29th Sun of the 6th Astral Moon

ETHNIC GROUP: Au Ra (Cursed Form), Voidsent (True Form)

NATIONALITY: Former Memeber of the Bajhiri Clan

LANGUAGE/S: Eorzean Common, Huntspeak (Keeper and Seeker), Dravanian/Draconic, Ancient Allagan and Voidsent. Knows enough about other languages to manage.

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Homosexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Panromantic

RELATIONSHIP STATUS:  Not really interested, No one can sway/win him over

HOMETOWN / AREA: A dense forest found in the deepest parts of the North Shroud.

CURRENT HOME:  Nomadic

PROFESSION: Master Alchemist and Engineer, takes up the study on Genetics and Genetic Altering (As well as a darker business in the background selling Fantasias). Entertainer and Belly Dancer in Ul’dah, offers his services as a male prostitute as well.

physical.

HAIR: Long and down to the top of his tail, Burgundy colored with purple tips, usually kept fairly decent.

EYES: Burgundy that matches the color of his hair but it is blocked out most of the time by the Lavender Limbal Rings.

FACE: Sharp but somewhat ‘soft’ looking, has a very young and youthful appearance

LIPS: Full, Plus, Silken Words

COMPLEXION: Pale, Greyish-Lavender skin with Opal-Moonstone Scales

BLEMISHES: Body looks to be in perfect condition with nothing staining it

SCARS: Pristine and almost unreal in appearance, whatever scars he might have heal quickly

TATTOOS: Numerous Tattoos that cover all of his form with the most notable being on his torso and back which cover the entire area.

HEIGHT: 8′9″ far taller than any normal Au Ra

WEIGHT: 290lbs.

BUILD: Muscular and very toned with legs that many dancers would be jealous of.

FEATURES: Golden Claws, Somewhat Dragon-like Feet, Adorned with Silks and Jewelry

ALLERGIES: While not allergic to it he is extremely sensitive to white, holy and light based magics and Aether.

USUAL HAIR STYLE: Long and left completely down most of the time, will sometimes tie his hair up into a high ponytail that cascades down to the middle of his back like a waterfall.

USUAL FACE LOOK: Coy, sometimes playful, teasing and flirty in some cases. When in hunt mode however he seems to have an almost smug and cunning look.

USUAL CLOTHING:  Dancers clothing that is made out of long silks usually in Grape Purple, silks are transparent and show most/all of his skin. Wears a Kohakama to reveal as much skin as possible since he is an entertainer.

psychology.

FEAR/S: While he will never admit to them, Toshi has a fear of being alone though he has gotten far better with it obviously.

ASPIRATION/S:  Breaking the seals on his body and earning his freedom once again.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Attractive, Observant, Playful and Resourceful

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Aggressive, Deceptive, Impatient and Obsessive

TEMPERAMENT:  Generally Coy and Playful at the start but can quickly turn to wild and destructive.

SOUL TYPE/S: The Warrior

ANIMALS:  Snakes, Serpents, Dogs, Wolves, Dragons.

VICE HABIT/S: Murdering People who Upset Him, Obsessively on the Hunt to break the Seals, Extreme Pride and Looks down on others, Constant Lies and Manipulation to get what he wants

FAITH: Formerly Menphina, the Lover (When he was Sozoh’a) now he follows no one.

GHOSTS?: He’s seen the souls of his deceased family... so yes.

AFTERLIFE?: He did destroy the souls of his family after killing them so... very much yes.

REINCARNATION?: Going through what he has, there is a small thought that it could be possible.

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: Keeps well away from it.

EDUCATION LEVEL:  Well Educated at the very least to get what he needs to get done. Basically he knows what to do in most situations to the best of his abiities.

family.

FATHER: Name Unknown, Keeper of the Moon possessed by a High Ranking Voidsent

MOTHER: Sozoh Bajhiri (Deceased, Keeper of the Moon)

SIBLINGS: Sizha (Eldest Sister), Rosah (Sister), Vekhe and Zahveh (Twins, Youngest Sisters) All Deceased

EXTENDED FAMILY: Una’to Bajhiri (Clan Branch, Relationship Unknown), Sebha’to Bajhiri (Clan Branch, Relationship Unknown). Various other Bajhiri Clan Branch members.

NAME MEANING/S: Bright (Toshi), potentially ‘Gift of the God’ for Naku.

HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: None...

favorites.

BOOK: Fictional, Fantasy, Horror, Mythology and some Folklore. Also anything regarding Ancient histories.

DEITY: Formerly Menphina, does not truly hold to any deities now however.

HOLIDAY: All Saints' Wake

MONTH: April

SEASON: Fall

PLACE: The Alchemists Guild

WEATHER: Heavy storms with intense thunder and lightning

SOUND / S: Boiling Water, Bubbling Potions, Wind Blowing and Rainfall

SCENT / S:  Fresh Rain and Dew, Blood and the many scents of brewing potions.

TASTE / S:  Savory and sometimes Sweet. Also has a fondness for Saltiness.

FEEL / S:  Smooth Scales with Soft Skin, Silken Hair.

ANIMAL / S:  A Beady Eye that he calls Kuso because it’s a piece of shit. It counts as an animal right?

NUMBER: 355

COLORS: Burgundy, Lavender, Grape Purple, Silver, Gold, Opal, Moonstone.

extra.

TALENTS: Potion Crafting, Tinkering/Engineering, Belly Dancing

BAD AT: Not Killing People, Controlling his Temper, Staying in his ‘Cursed’ Au Ra Form

TURN ONS: Gentle Caresses to his Scales, Touches to his tail specifically at the end, Roughly Grabbing at his Hips

TURN OFFS: It’s hard to say what would turn him off really...

HOBBIES: Murdering People is Fun, Seeking a way to break the seals on his body, Fantasia Crafting

TROPES: Dark is Evil, Always Chaotic Evil, Eldritch Abomination, Power of the Void, Demons Lords and Archdevils, Our Demons are Different, Sealed Evil in a Can and Unstoppable Rage

QUOTES: "Are you looking to strike a deal for a potion?” “I want to know where he is...” “I will find you little clan mate...”

mun questions.

Q1 :  If you could write your character your way in their own movie,  what would it be called,  what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?          

A1 : Pretty sure the movie would be called “From the Darkness” or “The Fallen of Bajhiri” since those are the big things I go with for Toshi. It would easily be a Horror film and it would likely be a trilogy where the first movie is about his past (When he was Sozoh’a) leading up to his transformation to Toshi, the second would be focused on him getting sealed away and his hunt to break the seals. Third is likely him either breaking the seals and getting his freedom or something... I dunno.

Q2 :  What would their soundtrack/score sound like?          

A2 : Mostly Horror Music and Themes, Likely Horror Video Game music such as things from Silent Hill.

Q3 :  Why did you start writing this character?          

A3 : Toshinaku was retired well after I created him, I had originally wanted to make him as a sort of adopted into the Miqo’te Clan type character and to RP someone with my good friend @skyysinger​ with Sebha’to. But I quickly tossed it out... and now that I’ve had a lot of fun RPing and talking with amazing people like @unatobajhiri​ and @nyrs-nook​ I got inspired to bring him back. I guess the big reason I wanted to start writing him is because I really wanted to write horror stories.

Q4 :   What first attracted you to this character?          

A4 : I have way too many muses and ideas at times though when I originally made Toshi again it was him being seen as an Adopted outsider into the Miqo’te Clan. After revising him and RPing with my friends I started to develop a greater lover for horror aspects and I wanted to play with something I never really delved that deep into before. I had done things with Dragons and Halfbreeds for various races but I never touched on any creatures from the Void.

Q5 :  Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.

A5 :  I suppose if I had to pick something that I ‘dislike’ about Toshi is I guess that his content can be very... mature and 18+ themed which means that it’s not really suited for everyone. I do love the horror and body horror that I write for him but I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea obviously. I am also always afraid of creating characters like this because of how people might take them (Him being a Voidsent, how he turned, things like that) and how people tend to be at times.

Q6 :  What do you have in common with your muse?          

A6 :   Do... I share anything in common with this asshole? Honestly... I do not know and I’m almost terrified if I do have something in common with him...

Q7 :   How does  your muse feel about you?          

A7 :  I’m pretty sure Toshi hates me just for the simple fact that I keep throwing him into hell and putting him through a lot of pain and suffering because I find it so relaxing to write those body horror stories of his. I think he might want to tear me apart because of how many times I’ve had him just... well you know... 

Q8 :  What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with ?        

A8 :  When it comes down to it Toshi really finds most people he interacts with interesting... unless it’s @unatobajhiri‘s Una’to because then it’s just a game of how much can the Keeper annoy the shit out of him. He finds characters like @gildedandgolden‘s Aure very... curious because he is trying to learn why they are how they are. Any other characters he has interacted with were just NPCs for story purposes and he usually goes to characters so that he can try and achieve his goal.

Q9 :  What gives you inspiration to write your muse ?        

A9 : The biggest inspiration for me is just knowing that people enjoy seeing the things that I post about any of my characters. When people praise me I don’t know how to take it but that shows me that people are indeed interested in these characters and stories that I have to offer. It helps me fight the bad brain demons that I have where I’ll usually give up on a character entirely either because I feel that I am bothering and annoying people with that character or because I feel like I am wasting peoples time with them or it’s simply because I feel like no one will want to see the character. A lot of the times I feel my stuff is trash or garbage so knowing that people want to see more is always an inspiration to keep me writing.

Q10 : How long did this take you to complete ?          

A10 : Hrmmmmm roughly an hour but I also had a cat get on my lap and in the way during the middle of this so... RIP

[i-am-the-gay-shit]

Somebody to Love

Hello everyone! So this is my first Maylor Fanficiton... Also the first time I’ve uploaded a Fanficition to Tumblr. I wanted to give these two a shot! I hope you all enjoy it... No Smut, just fluff, some kissing, friends to lovers! Please tell me what you think :)

Enjoy!

“Find me somebody to...

Love…!”

Freddie’s voice rang through the studio as Brian quickly picked up the guitar solo, trying to keep time with just the piano and bass in the back.

“No- Stop, stop, stop.” The lead quickly stopped playing his piano and dramatically waved his hands. The other two men sighing softly.

“Bloody hell, where is that drummer?! He’s very late!… and that’s ME saying something!” Freddie exclaimed.

“He’s usually the first one here… Brian, has he talked to you?” The quiet bassist asked curiously, but the taller man just shook his head. “No… We haven’t talked since practice yesterday. He said he was going to meet Dominique for a date or something. After that, I haven’t heard a peep from him.” Brian says, looking toward the door. Hoping the blonde would burst through energetically, but of course no such thing happened. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t worried about his long time friend. Roger was normally never late and frequently bitched about Freddie’s lateness…

“Maybe he was in an accident, or car broke down? It’s pouring out there after all…” John says quietly, a hint of worry to his calm voice.

“Roger? Car breaking down? Ha! He would let himself break down before his beloved car!” Freddie laughs making the two men smile slightly, but Brian’s smile fading to a worried frown.

“But an accident… Do you really think…?” He asks quietly, looking back at the door.

“No. I just think he’s late, for whatever reason.” Freddie assures. “Rog doesn’t drive recklessly. He probably was going to leave and saw how it was raining. His phone line could have been knocked out by the storm so he can’t get ahold of us. Just relax, Bri…”

“...Yeah, you’re probably right…” Brian nods his head, giving a small smile before looking down at his guitar. Fingers mindlessly dancing along the chords.

“Either way, I think we can agree that we’re not getting anywhere in these songs without him here. As much as we all pick on and bitch at each other, we can’t deny that we each need the others…” John sighs, taking his bass off and setting it down gently.

“Let’s call it a night the-” Freddie began but stopped as the doors opened and revealed Roger walking in. Head down. Soaked down to the bone.

“Rog, Darlin’, there you are! You’re soaked!” Freddie exclaimed dramatically, strolling to the blonde quickly. John and Brian not far behind.

“Ye-yeah...so-sorry I’m late…” Roger’s voice is quiet and almost lifeless.

“Rog, what’s wrong? You must be cold…” John says before turning to search the studio for something to help dry the blonde off. Freddie noticed and joined the bassist in his search.

“...Roger, are you okay…?” Brian asked softly, putting his hand on the younger mans shoulder. Roger remained silent, but looked up to meet the guitarist hazel eyes. Brian was shocked to see the tears in his friends eyes.

“Rog… What is it? Talk to me…” Brian tried again, but this just made the tears flow down the blondes cheeks. Roger looked down quickly, shaking his head.

“Here, we found a towel…” John said as he jogged over, holding it to Roger. But the blonde made no move to take it, instead Brian took it.

“Rog, do you want to talk to us?” Freddie asked, worry coating his voice. Roger shook his head.

“...Do you want to talk to Brian?” John asked quietly. Roger stayed quiet for a moment before nodding softly.

“O-oh! Okay… Do you wanna go to the back of the studio? Outside?” Brian asked quickly.

“O-outside…” Roger said softly. The older man nodded before putting his hand on the blondes shoulder and started to lead him out. Looking back the the worried faces of their bandmates.

The rain was pouring down and it was dark already. The autumn air and wind making it even colder than it already was. Brian lead Roger to the side of the building, under a small part of shelter so they could sit and remain dry. And they did. They sat there for what felt like an hour in complete silence.

“...Rog, what’s wrong? You can talk to me… Is it something to do with Dominique?” Brian asked softly, the other just nodded.

“Did… did you two break up for something…?” He asked again, trying not to sound too pushy.

“Ye-yeah…” Roger’s voice broke slightly as he looked up to meet Brian’s eyes. For as long as he’s known Roger, he’s never seen him cry from a simple break up… Yeah, he’s been upset, but never like this. Dominique and him have been with each other for awhile, but…

“Why are you crying…? Do you miss her so much already?” Brian wondered. Roger shook his head.

“N-no...i-it...it’s more on how we broke up…” The blonde replies, averting his eyes and facing down again.

“How…? What happened, Rog? Bloody hell, you didn’t catch her cheating or something?” Brian asked, suddenly feeling anger flare inside him.

“N-No! No-nothing like that, Bri…” Roger instantly assures his friend. Brian calms himself after a moment, waiting for the drummer to tell him more.

“...Roger. Come on. Tell me what’s up.” He says a bit sternly.

“I-I… Brian… She broke up with be-because… u-um…” The blonde was struggling with his words, but seemed to calm as he felt Brian’s hand rest on his shoulder.

“Rog. Look at me.” The older man said gently. Roger kept looking down for a moment before casting his eyes to meet Brian’s.

“Tell me. Roger, I’ve been your best friend for-...Jeez. For how many years? I’m here for you.” He told the younger man. Those blue eyes searched Brian’s for any hint of doubt.

“I-....Brian… She broke up with me because….well…. I-...I’m gay…” He admits quietly.

“...I’m sorry. You’re...what?” Brian had to be sure he heard Roger correctly. He’s gay? There’s no way… For how long, both him and Roger have talked and thought about nothing but girls. And now he’s suddenly gay?

“I-...Dammit, Brian. You heard me…” Roger looks away angrily.

“I’m just… trying to figure out… how you’re gay, Rog… You’re more of a womanizer than I ever was.” Brian says slowly, trying not to sound too rude but still trying to understand.

“What the hell do you mean ‘how’?!” Roger exclaims, anger flaring in his eyes.

“Rog. It’s just… again… You were into women before I was! It’s kind of hard to think you’re gay…” The older man repeats his earlier comment with a bit more detail.

“I-... I… only acted like that, Bri…” Roger confessed.

“....Acted….? Roger, why would you act like something you’re not? You could have told me…” Brian says softly. “Just cause you’re gay doesn’t make me think differently of you…” “...You might…” Roger said sadly.

“What do you mean? Why would it change anything?” Brian couldn’t believe that Roger didn’t trust him enough to tell him before. His best friend for years…

“I-...it just would!” The blonde yells out slightly.

“...Rog…” The older tries to keep his voice soft to make the younger calm down. “Why did you act… Why didn’t you trust me…” “Be-because… I was sacred you would hate me after you found out… an-and….” And I acted that way so you wouldn’t find out I loved you. He thought silently.

“Roger, I could never hate you! We’re like brothers!” Brian quickly said and it took everything for Roger to not cry out at the breaking of his heart from that comment.

“...brothers...huh?” Roger said softly. The rain almost drowning out the weak sound in his voice, but Brian noticed the change in Roger. Almost like the air around him turned darker.

“Rog…? How do you know you’re gay…? There must be… someone… you like…?” Brian asks carefully, slowly piecing everything together in his own head, but needing to hear the younger man say it.

“Brian… I… I don’t want to talk about this anymore…” The drummer quickly said while starting to stand, but Brian shot his hand up and grabbed his wrist.

“Rog… tell me.” He said sternly, gently tugging him back down. Looking over the blonde. Waiting.

“...Bri...I...I don’t want you to-” “I won’t hate you, Rog. I told you. I could never hate you.” Brian cuts the younger man off quickly. Their eyes meeting and locking. Brian refusing to look away, wanting to look him in the eyes.

“Tell me.” He says softly. “Tell me, for how long have you liked me, Rog?” Rogers blue eyes widen slightly, but unable to break the eye contact between them.

“I-I-I…” He stutters, unable to form any words while his mind races.

“...It’s okay, Rog… I mean… I’m not going to lie to you… I-... I don’t exactly swing that way… But I support you fully…” Brian tries to sound as nice as possible. Not sure if outright telling Roger that they weren’t going to happen was a good idea at the moment, but… He wanted to be truthful and not give his friend false hope. But he could feel his heart clench as tears flowed down the blondes face.

“Rog-”

“N-no, Bri… I understand…” Roger forces a smile. “I knew we would never…” His voice cracks and he shakes his head. “I knew we would never be together… But… I’m glad I have your support…” He finishes before standing back up.

“I-... You… will always have my full support, Roger…” Brian says, not wanting to push this any further. “I’m here for you, Rog… Anytime you want to talk…” He stands up, putting his hand on the others shoulder once more.

“...Ye-yeah. Thanks, Bri…” Roger smiles painfully up at his long time friend…

“Of course… The rain has let up. Freddie is probably just gonna call it a night.” Brian said, searching the pain written on Roger’s face. Guilt pulling at his heart.

“Probably… I can give you a lift home?” Roger asks, but Brian can’t help but feel like that’s not the best idea at the moment.

“I promised John that I would head with him. He needed some help… on this song of his…” He felt bad lying, but he didn’t want to push Roger.

“O-oh. Yeah, he does have a new idea doesn’t he…?” Roger asks while laughing softly, trying to hide the disappointment before walking past Brian with his head down.

It had been about a week since Roger came out to Brian and the guitarist has noticed the blonde… avoiding him at almost all costs… Only talking to the older man when it was band related and they were around the other two. Brian couldn’t understand why Roger was acting like this… acting… He acted straight to hide the fact he was gay from Brian… So why now was he acting and being so distant…

“Oy! Earth to Brian!” All of a sudden Freddie snapped his fingers in front of Brian’s face, causing him to flinch back.

“You’ve been staring at Roger for the past 5 minutes!” Freddie declared making his eyes slightly widen before looking at Roger who was looking over at his cymbal to his right. Brian could see a slight blush to his cheeks.

“I-...sorry.” He said quickly. Shaking his head and looking back at Freddie, managing a smile. Freddie didn’t seem to buy that shitty smile for a second.

“Ever since you two talked last week you’ve both been acting weird!” He snaps, obviously not pleased by two of his bandmates not focusing on the work. Both Brian and Roger remained silent making Freddie sigh out.

“Jesus, you two! Kiss and make up or something!” He yells out before walking to the back room angrily. John looked between Brian and Roger before slowly following Freddie, leaving the two alone in awkward silence.

“...Rog.” Brian sighs out, slowly walking over to the tense man behind the drums. “Why… Why are you ignoring me.”

“I-...I’m not…” Roger says softly, looking super interested in his drum sticks.

“You are. You’re doing it right now.” The older says.

“Am not… I’m talking to you, aren’t I…?” The blonde says, rolling the sticks in his hands.

“Barely. You’re not even looking at me!” Brian exclaims. Roger remains silent before slowly looking up at Brian’s hazel eyes.

“There. I looked at you. Happy?” Roger huffs before standing from his stool and moving around his drum to walk away. Brian grabbed his wrist before he could get far.

“Rog, stop being such a bloody bitch! Talk to me!” Brian yells, his anger boiling.

“Excuse me?!” The blonde yelled while yanking his wrist away. “Why should I talk to you?!” He yells.

“Because I'm your Best Friend!!” Brian yells right back.

“Yeah! That's the problem, Brian!! I-...I can't.. I just can't come to terms with all this yet! Even though I've always known we would never be together, it still hurts!!” He tries to blink the tears from his blue eyes. “I just… need some time, Brian… It's hard seeing you everyday… knowing you know….knowing you'll never feel the same… it's hard to try and change my feelings when you're always so bloody nice to me… always there for me…”

“Rog… I-....I'm sorry… I didn't think about it like that…” Brian's anger instantly disperses as it all sinks in. Of course Roger would want to distance himself… You can't just fall out of love with someone… but… the thought of Roger not loving him… somehow made Brian feel very uneasy. He hated the idea of it… but why…? He didn't think of the blonde that way… did he..? Looking down at Roger, he couldn't deny that the young man was very attractive. He'd always been the Pretty Boy. All the girls loved him and many guys copied his style… And Roger’s personality was very inviting too. He understood why so many women flung themselves at him…

“.... I know you only mean good, Brian…. I know…. But…. I can't move on like this…” The blonde admits in a soft voice. “I've loved you for years. It's not going to be easy for the feelings to just… poof, go away…”

“....what if… what if I don't want them to go away…?” Brian asks softly. Earning a confused look from Roger.

“Bri, what are you talking ab-!” before Roger could finish, he was cut off by the taller man leaning down and kissing him. His blue eyes widening while Brian's hazel eyes closed. They stood there for a few moments, lips connected, before Brian pulled away to look at the younger man.

“Br-Bri… th-this isn't funny…” Roger says softly, eyes still wide as he tries to connect the dots on what the actual fuck just happened.

“It wasn't meant to be funny, Rog. I wanted to kiss you.” Brian says simply like it wasn't a big deal.

“But why? You told me…” His blue eyes look away as he remembers how nice Brian tried to be while rejecting his feelings.

“Yes. That was a week ago, when it was sprung up on me… But… for some reason, I hate the thought of you trying to stop loving me… And then I started to think of what it would feel like to kiss you.” Brian admitted, looking away as he realized how selfish he sounded.

“....well…?” The blonde asked after a moment of silence.

“....’well’ what?” Brian asked looking back at Roger.

“....what did it feel like…? The kiss, I mean…” Roger asks slowly, trying not to look away. Brian thought for a minute before answering.

“I didn't hate it… Honestly, I think it's something I could get use to… We could always try again, just to be sure…?” The taller man slowly says. Roger shifts slightly as he thinks.

“....yeah… we could try….” He agrees, Brian nodding. Both of them standing there awkwardly before Brian finally took the first step, leaning down. Roger slowly followed and leaned up making their noses brush together. They stared at each other, almost as a last minute chance for either to back away before Brian closed his eyes and had their lips meet. Roger tensed slightly before relaxing, closing his eyes, and kissing the older man back. Their lips moved together awkwardly before they found a nice, slow rhythm. After a minute of testing, Brian pulled away just enough to look down at Roger who slowly opened his eyes.

“....Well…?” Roger asked again. Brian was quiet before he slowly leaned back down, recapturing the blondes lips. Hands slowly resting on the smaller hips. It took Roger a moment to recover from shock, but soon his arms found their way around Brian’s neck, pulling the taller man down more. Slowly, they both pulled away.

“...I thought you weren't gay…” Roger says first, making Brian smile.

“I…. I'm not, Rog… I think it's just you.” Brian confesses, making the younger man blush.

“Really…?” He asks and Brian nods.

“Yeah… I think… I think this could work… If you want to try…” Brian says.

“Try…? Like…”

“Like, will you be my boyfriend, Rog?” The older asks. Roger couldn't form words. He had dreamed of this…

“I-I… Ye-yeah! I would love to!” He finally manages to force out, unable to keep a giant smile from spreading on his lips. Brian gives a cheeky smile before leaning down and kissing the blonde again. Arms completely wrapping around his waist this time while Roger’s hangs tangled into Brians curly hair.

“Have you two drama queens made u-...up...yet…” The two quickly pulled away from each other, but it was too late. Freddie was already standing in plain view, mouth agape, and sun glasses falling from him hands. John behind with a very similar expression.

“I-...er… Well… Yeah, we… made up.” Brian tries to sound casual.

“Made up?! You two were bloody making out! When I said kiss and make up, I didn’t actually think you would!” Freddie laughs, John looking like he was still trying to process the scene he just witnessed. Roger blushes slightly.

“Oh! Bugger off, Fred!” He yells, but Freddie pays his attitude no mind.

“I didn’t think either of you were gay! Or with each other~!” He winks.

“We’re not… well.. I’m not gay… it’s… just something about Roger…” Brian smiles down at the blonde. “And we just got together.” “So sweet, my little dears! I think I may have a cavity, Roger~!” Freddie exclaims, making all of them roll their eyes.

“Well… In any case. You both have full support from us, you know that?” John says calmly, finally able to piece everything together in his head.

“Yeah…” Roger says, nodding his head with a smile. “We know…” “Well good. Now. Can we get this bloody song on the road?!” Freddie yells with a teasing smile.

“Yea, Freds. Let us get our equipment.” Brian says, flashing a grin at Roger as he walks past to get back behind his drums.

“Ugh. Not even 5 minutes in their relationship and they’re already eye fucking each other.” Freddie teases again, earning a small glare from Brian.

“Calm down, darlin’. Now. Let’s rock!”

[nottswitch]

Southbound

Prologue

Hey there guys, you guessed it right: I'm active again! And what better way to come back than with a prologue to a new series? I know what you're gonna say: Kira, are you out of your mind?! Another series? And I'm saying, yes, maybe I'm a little crazy, but another series. I hope you will enjoy it :) With tumblr's new algorithm (which sucks) I can't link my masterlist here for this post to show up in the tags, but feel free to go straight to my "about" and find it. Love you and I'm so happy to share my work with you again <3 

(Btw, let me know if you’d like to be added or removed from the tag list because I can’t find some people’s urls and adjust it.)

Oh and another note: yes, it's very much inspired by Southbond by our boy Benny B. You'll later see why ;)

Word count: 1,025

All preparations were very last minute — or there weren’t any at all, as any sane person would say if they, by any chance, had noticed two people hurrying along the road in the shadows of a forest lining it from the side. They had nothing with them, not a bag or a purse — only magic wands illuminated their way, lit by the Lumos spell. They didn’t know where they were going yet, they just had a mere idea that they should not, under any circumstances, be found at that place. No, it wouldn’t be their final destination, not at all — it was way farther; but they would have a safe place for some days to figure out what route should each of them take.

As it happens in all fairy tales without happy endings, it started raining. You sighed, either from tiredness or from one thought at the back of your head: it should have started at some point, as all the worst things seemed to take over any signs of luck you had left. Road dirt squished under your feet and you were already scared to look down at your shoes: didn’t need your mood to get any worse — as if it could. Sirius was several steps ahead of you, as it always had been at times of great danger — dog’s instinct? Maybe, but more likely — lover’s. You didn’t talk much since you had left your place a day earlier. Not because you didn’t have anything to talk about, but probably due to your emotional state — both of you were devastated, broken. It was true, however, that you had always found comfort in each other, no matter how cliche it sounded. You were certain that sooner or later time would come for you to have a conversation. Both of you understood that it was necessary and you just had to wait for some time to find a shelter.

You could barely hear Sirius’ voice through roaring rain, but it took you no time at all to catch two words: “found” and “cabin”. If your mood was somewhat decent, you would have been the happiest, but at that moment it was just a sense of relief. The only disadvantage of an old house was that it was located near the road, which meant anybody could see it — but else Sirius wouldn’t have been able to spot it, right?

At the forest ground was a bit more dry because trees protected it from the rain, but it was still not the easiest path to walk. Your cautious side told you to check the cabin and surroundings first, but your tired self wasn’t particularly pleased by that. But you fully understood the importance of being as watchful and wary as possible — you could have fallen into a trap at any moment. So instead of slamming the door open and getting inside, you and Sirius walked around, drowning in grass and bushes, some of which easily reached your shoulders. Only after that you climbed up the stairs. They probably started to rot decades ago and if it wasn’t for the deafening sound of rain, you would have given your presence out rather early.

“Revelio,” Sirius whispered after he opened the door and both of you looked inside, not daring to walk in without a proper checking.

The charm didn’t catch anything or anyone, so you entered the room with less worries  — you couldn’t calm yourself completely even if you wanted to. You were ready to volunteer to go outside and protect the place when Sirius, as if he read your mind, said he would go check the neighborhood once again and make a shield at the same time. You nodded, deep down glad that you didn’t have to stand in that horrible rain for more time.

While Sirius was gone, you decided to inspect the house for potential places to sleep and eat at. Now that you were relatively safe, you had finally thought about all things you were missing to have decent existence — simple sleeping bags, spare clothes, food. The cabin seemed to be very abandoned and every sign of life had already been washed out by floods of water and endless winds filling that place. Upper floor wasn’t even in question — it consisted of one room with bare walls and nothing else in it. And yet, you managed to find a single bed with nothing but iron grid to lie on, but it was still something. Upon further investigation, you noticed a partly destroyed table that was also a good thing to find. Sadly, it ended there.

While waiting for Sirius to return, all you could really do was creating a small bonfire, careful not to set everything else on fire. Through the rain you heard “Protego totalum… Salvio hexia…” said close to the door and its combination with warmth that the bonfire was giving you made you feel like you were back home again. But it didn’t continue for long. Harsh reality struck when Sirius closed the door behind him and sat down next to you, drowning out the sound of rain with his heavy breath.

“It’s done,” he whispered, tilting his head back to feel the wall against it and relax his body for perhaps the first time since October 31st.

By the look on Sirius’ face you could tell that he was struggling to choose between having a long-awaited conversation and just letting it go for that night. You had the same battle inside your head, but already knew what option you were leaning towards.

“Do you want to sleep?” you asked as softly as possible, not willing, by any means, to ruin the atmosphere established.

“Would love to,” he answered, closing his eyes as a confirmation.

Storm was raging outside when the two of you found a way to fit on such a narrow bed, but you couldn’t sleep even with the warmth of Sirius next to you. You couldn’t get rid of a very scary thought you tried to avoid so hard: you had no idea where to go.

Tag list: @padfootagain @giggleberts @starless-skyox @furmicl @coffeeismylife28 @siriusmaraudeers @sirius-lysad

[feral-anarchy]

Untitled

I have no idea how to title things. But here is a short story I made about Runaan first meeting Tinker. Its sad and angst so be warned. Warning also, its unedited so there will be mistakes and typos.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Please! I don’t understand, why won’t you just speak to me? Please stop walking away and just SPEAK to me!”

Runaan ran after Misah, calling after her as she continued to walk briskly away from him and into the woods. The direction she was headed pointed towards the local MoonShadow village which has been their home village for their entire lives.

“No, Runaan.” Misah grit through her teeth far too quietly for Runaan to hear. She wore a pained expression on her face as she continued to walk ever after away from the pleading assassin.

“I don’t understand- why won’t you just TELL me what is wrong? Cannot we not speak to each other? Can we not confide? We used to Misah- MISAH!”

Runaan was now running to catch up, striding with long legs that were used to sprinting at random times as was needed. His muscles not even needing to work hard to propel his body forward in order to catch up. Yet Misah picked up her pace in retaliation until they were both out right running.

The assassin was of course faster and could have easily caught up with the female moonshadow elf who he was calling relentlessly, pain and confusion etched into every word, but he held back, not knowing what would happen if he were to spring forward.

“I- I just can’t Runaan- Stop following me!” Words laced with anger and pain flew back to hit Runaan right in the heart. What did she mean?

“Earlier today we were just fine! What changed? Why have you decided this? Why can I not be a part of this decision? Please I love you!”

At this Misah did pause in her running, slowing down to a brisk walk again and allowed Runaan to catch up. He quickly caught her wrist in his strong hand and halted her forward movement.

He was confused and angry and hurt and he wanted answers.

“Misah..” He started, looking down into her beautiful turquoise eyes not unlike his own. “Misah I-” But she cut him off before he could begin, fearing that if she allowed him to speak she could not say what needed to be said.

“Runaan, I can’t!” She snipped at him, effectively silencing him again as he had moved to speak once more.

“I cannot do this anymore, it is terrifying! The emotional stress I feel when you go off on missions- What would I ever tell our children if we had any what happened to their father if you were killed on one of your mission!?” Sniffling Misah broke their locked gazes, turning away from him but allowing him to still keep her wrist locked in a tight almost painful grip.

“..What. I- I mean I understa…” His words faded from his lips as full understanding dawned on him. It was because he was an assassin, it was because of the risks, the threat of death and the stress he was putting on his lover. Runaan’s shoulders relaxed and he looked nowhere in particular with half lidded eyes.

“But.. Why now? We have been joined together for seven human years Misah.. Why now are you just telling me this? Have you..” He swallowed the dry lump in his throat before continuing. “Have you been carrying the stress of this all this time?” His heart clenched at the thought of causing her so much pain for any amount of time unknowingly.

“I was alright with it.. At first. Of course I was just so infatuated with you.” Misah half chuckled as she recalled their earliest memories together. “But the mission you went on last year, I thought I could get past it but I just.. I could have lost you and then I could have been alone.”

She turned back to Runaan, tears streaming down her milky cheeks. Above them the sky darkened, large weighted clouds drifted overhead in preparation of the heavy rain they were about to deposit onto the ground.

Runaan recalled that mission, he had almost not made it back. A team of six was sent into the human kingdoms to regain a lost child who had been stolen near the border, her family murdered by the humans and their belongings strewn across the thicket they were found in.

When they finally caught up to the murderous bandits it was to late. They had butchered the child for her magical parts to sell for dark magic to the highest bidder. No doubt they had ended her innocent life only hours before his team had shown up.

Runaan will never forgive himself for not getting their in time, he knew he had needed to rush his team onward but he was lax and took the same precautions he always did when crossing the border, which cost precious time. And there ended up being very little need for those precautions as they were more of a formality, a guide he followed when entering into the human lands.

Somehow the bandits had known they were coming after them, or they had prepared to defend themselves in the event that they were followed.

It had been a suicide mission and Runaan had almost not made it back. He lost three of his team on that day, he himself had needed over a week to recover.

Runaan was snapped out of thoughts as words floated to him on a whisper.

Misah was talking again but Runaan need not hear anymore. He stepped back, releasing Misah’s wrist from his grasp and allowed his training as a hardened assassin to take charge.

Rain started drizzling on them and the surrounding forever, the sound like a orchestra of noise all around. The droplets pounding onto the canopy of leaves above to drop down onto the bushes and grass, puddling here or there and wetting the homes of ground dwelling animals.

Runaan’s turquoise eyes were cold and hard, not in anger, but in fear that he would break down, his heart shattering with understanding of their situation.  

The female MoonShadow sniffed, regaining herself and gathering her courage once more.

“I guess this is it then. This is goodbye.” Her strangled words were hard to hear at the wind began to whip up as the storm grew.

It took a moment for Runaan to answer but when he did he sounded as calm and composed as ever, as if he was speaking to someone else about the local market running out of cheese again for the third time.

“Yes.. Goodbye Misah, it has been wonderful with you in my life, but I understand you must go.”

Nodding Misah agreed.

As she turned and started to walk away the downpour from the rain became painful, as if being stung by bees were the droplets hit. Before getting too far and before her voice could be lost within the winds she turned back to Runaan, looking at her now ex lover of several years, the one whom she had assumed to spend her entire life with, to raise children, to make a home and yet here they are now, ending it all.

“Runaan.. I still love you, and I always will.” She turned away from him for the final time, walking towards the lights of the MoonShadow village, away from her current life to start on a new journey all her own.

Runaan stood in the shooting rain, not feeling the sting of the freezing droplets. “I know..” he finally muttered, allowing the tears to finally break free and fall, mixing with the rain.

He stood there in the middle of the dark forest, for how long he did not know or really even care. His beautiful white hair now a wet and tangled mess from having been stirred by the poetic weather. His clothes were so soaked through he might as well have been swimming in a lake. His feet sloshed as he trudged back into the village, the lights all too bright for him at the moment and so he kept to the shadows.

The rain had finally started to let up as he made his way through the streets, cursing and laughing at the way the universe seemed to add that extra bit of drama to his life currently.

Dawn would not be here for another four or five hours and Runaan could not bare the idea of going back home, of returning to all his memories of the life he had been living up until this point.

Nearing his destination he paused, assessing his current ensemble and deciding he really didnt matter. Although he did try to wring himself out a little in respect for the establishment he was about to enter.

Opening the heavy door and slipping in, Runaan was greeted by semi-loud noise, not unlike a calm human bar within the human kingdoms except here in Xadia the noise level was kept at a lower octave as elves tended to have more keen hearing.

He ignored the bar goers and they in turn ignored him. He had chosen a bar he did not frequent often if at all. He was not really a drinker and did not often visit bars save for when friends or family had special occasions, like when his best friend announced his wife’s pregnancy with their first child. They were so excited and it was certainly cause for celebration, they told him they did not care if it was a boy or girl, but that the child was healthy.

Although his friend’s wife did confide in Runaan, telling him she already knew the sex of the child and the name she had chosen.

The next celebration he attended was when baby Rayla was born and he had gotten so inebriated he couldnt walk straight, It had not been a great morning for him the next day.

Now he sat himself at the unfamiliar bar and ordered a drink. The bar keep thankfully not giving him much of a look to his disheveled and dripping appearance and simply serving him his request, a good bar keep indeed.

Runaan was halfway through his third drink, and having not really had any food the whole night, he was beginning to feel a little toasty from the alcohol, when a whistle derailed his train of inner thoughts.

“Wow! Don’t you look the sight!” Chirped a joyful sounding voice. Great, just what he needed, someone being all chipper around him and trying to converse.

“Please, I just would like to be alone right now.” Runaan grunted low. Hoping just his gristly appearance would thwart anyone coming up to him were shattered. He had no patience for anyone right now. He turned away from the person, refusing to even look at them.

However the person was not dissuaded by his grumble and the sound of the barstool next to him scraped loudly against the floor. The person sat themselves down next to Runaan and waved to the bartender.

“You look like youve been through something, here, let me order you a drink” Kindness, joy, a warm feeling that felt like a hug flowed from the mouth of this stranger and reverberated through Runaan’s chest. Annoyance ticked Runaan’s eyelid and he sighed inwardly. This pest wasnt going to go away easily. Perhaps he was just drunk and did not understand the very obvious hints Runaan was throwing at him to go away.

It occured to the hurt MoonShadow that the stranger was talking he idly tuned in.

“So as I was saying I was told theres this beautiful spot to watch the sunrise and I was wondering if You know about it? Haha, im not real great at this small talk but you just looked so sad over here and I thought you could use a friend and -Oh thank you Mr. bartender- Anyways, Like I was saying you just looked so sad and Im new around here so I thought you would know about it and perhaps-”

Runaan had had enough, he spun on the barstool to face his annoying companion, to tell him to shove off and that he was in no mood, his heart hurt and his head was beginning to too, but his words caught in his throat and his breath left him as he finally took a look at his unwelcome companion.

He was a SunFire elf for sure, not very common in the MoonShadow village so he must have been either traveling or moving to live here. He had mentioned he was new around here so it must be the latter.

He wore a scarf loosely wrapped around his neck and the markings on his cheeks had little flicks around the circular pattern, perhaps he had MoonShadow blood in him as well? Half breeds were not common but not unheard of.

The elf paused in his ramblings when Runaan spun on him. His face softened as he looked him up and down, and all over. His lips drew back into a soft smile and his eyes alighted with an emotion Runaan was not ready to even try interpreting.

“Hey.. There you are.” The stranger soothed, smiling at the shocked looking MoonShadow who only gaped at him.

“My name’s Tinker, It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

[spartanguard]

something in the water, part 7

Emma is sent to investigate a mysterious sea monster appearance in her hometown. Thankfully, her family there knows her secret: that at night, she transforms into a swan. And she knows that whoever the universe thinks her soulmate is, as dictated by the tattoo on her side, won’t be there. Though maybe she was wrong to assume that. And when did a merman start hanging out in the ocean near Storybrooke?

rated M | 7.4k | part 1 (art) | part 2 (art) | part 3 (art) | part 4 (art) | part 5 (art) | part 6 (art) | AO3 

A/N: So much happens in this chapter, y’all. I really hope you like it because some BIG stuff is in here. One more chapter after this...eee! As always, thanks to the organizers of @cssns for organizing this, and thanks to you readers for sticking with it!

It didn’t matter how long she sat floating on the water; the same thought played over and over, but she still couldn’t believe it: holy shit, Killian is a merman.

Once the initial shock wore off, she first had to question her sanity, or at least current mental state—maybe she’d been thrown against the dock harder than she thought?

But then his rain jacket washed up against her with the incoming tide, and the cuff he always wore was peeking out of the pocket. That had clearly been intentionally placed, and she knew he wouldn’t just take it off.

So it was real: he was a merman...and possibly her soulmate.

Honestly, now that she thought about it, the signs were all there: his sheltered childhood, his appetite for fish, the weird way he acted when she started asking after books about mermaids, and especially his aversion to getting wet despite living on the water and owning a boat—it all made sense now. (Maybe giving her the romance novel had been a test?)

As the clouds gave way to a starry sky, she cursed herself for not trying to see if his mark had been visible. Though, she had been a bit preoccupied—it was the second-greatest shock of her life, after her first transformation, so her focus had been elsewhere.

(She did get a good look at his collarbones, though...damn...and the bit of chest hair she’d seen, plastered to his skin, gave her some very un-swan-like thoughts.)

It got more believable the more she repeated it to herself—the merman part, at least—but the fact that he might be her soulmate was still giving her pause. What if he still rejected her after he saw her transform? Or worse—what if he still wasn’t hers?

But then her gaze fell on one of the constellations he showed her—Cygnus—and she remembered how it guided him here. She obviously wasn’t big on cosmic signs but she had to admit, that one was pretty glaring.

She was both excited and uncertain about everything, and needed to calm down, because her current train of thought wasn’t helping her with anything.

The constant rise and fall of the waves didn’t help, either—she didn’t know it was possible for a swan to get seasick, but she was starting to feel nauseous. That could have just been a side effect of her emotional state, but calmer waters would definitely help.

The wind was nearly gone so she took off back towards home; again, she’d have to worry about her car tomorrow (or today, or whatever time it was). The pond was smooth as glass when she landed gracelessly, shattering the surface with ripples and splashing a bit louder than planned. Oh well, the horses could deal with being woken up; those big babies probably hadn’t slept through the storm, anyway.

Not long after she landed—during which time she hadn’t relaxed at all—a sleepy voice called out from the dock. “Emma? Is everything okay?”

Snow was standing at the end of it in a parka and leggings, stifling a yawn with her hand.

“Why are you awake?” Emma answered, avoiding the question—mainly because she still didn’t know how to answer.

Snow shrugged. “You know how my sixth sense works.” In addition to being able to talk to birds, she could also tell when one was distressed, and more than once had gone traipsing through the woods to bring some poor injured dove or robin to Dave’s vet practice. “What’s wrong?”

Emma sighed, though she knew it came out more like a hiss. “I’m...not even sure how to start,” she said, swimming closer as Snow took a seat. “It’s...complicated.”

“Is it Killian?” Snow asked, her casual tone indicating that she already knew it was but wanted to hear Emma say it.

“Yeah,” she confirmed. “I’m guessing you heard Ruby’s news?”

“Mhmm; she told me after school.”

“Okay. So then you know what she found out about her soulmark?”

“Yeah...ohhhhhhh.” Snow’s eyes grew wide when she made the connection. “So you think your soulmate is a merman?”

“I...I think so.”

“And not Killian?” She sounded disappointed; Emma wondered how many hours she’d already put into planning their hypothetical wedding.

“That’s the thing: it might be.” She knew she probably shouldn’t tell Snow what she’d seen earlier—Snow was notoriously terrible at keeping a secret—but this was one thing she was usually good with, so she went ahead and gave a play-by-play of the past couple days, starting from when he unknowingly divulged that he had a secret, her thought process after Ruby’s revelation, right up until he disappeared under the surface with a fan of his fin.

“Oh, Emma! That’s so exciting!” Snow said, clapping enthusiastically. “So what are you going to do now?”

“I have no idea!” she hissed back. “How the hell do you tell someone, ‘Hey, I was spying on you while in my secret other form and caught a glimpse of you in your secret other form and I think we might be soulmates’?”

“I mean, you could do it just like that,” Snow suggested, unhelpfully.

Emma groaned. “You know it’s not that easy. I mean, how did you and David know?” She hadn’t found out they were soulmates until after they were engaged, but Snow had long held her sisterly stamp of approval. The details of how they found out had never fully been revealed to her, though.

Which may have been intentional, judging from the sudden shift in Snow’s gaze to anywhere but Emma. “Are you sure you wanna know?” she asked, almost wincing.

“You acting weird about it only makes me want to know more.”

Snow huffed. “Okay, but I warned you: Remember when we broke up for a bit?”

“Yeah; David was miserable.”

Snow nodded. “So was I; that was why we decided to get back together. And...there might have been some makeup sex, during which he found the mark on my side.”

Emma was speechless—not so much at the thought of them getting it on (she had ears; they weren’t as quiet as they thought they were) but more that it took them so long to realize it; they’d been together probably a year at that point, and she knew David had wondered it, considering his mark was a snowflake, but she was surprised he’d never noticed hers until then. “It really took you that long?”

“Well, it’s not like we usually had the lights on or anything,” she explained. “But yeah. I had thought the sex was great because he was just really good. But then when we came back together—when we chose each other for good—it was like coming home.”

Emma ignored the part about her brother being good in bed and focused on the last part: Killian really had been the best lover she’d ever had; she figured it was just Killian, but maybe there truly was more to that.

“Oh my God, did you guys do it?” Snow whisper-yelled.

“How could you tell?!” Emma protested (and clearly failed at).

“Because you were thinking about it. Otherwise, you’d have been complaining.”

Damn her intuition. “Okay, yes; we did and it was amazing.”

“So then what the hell are you waiting for?”

“I’m scared, okay!” Emma heard herself blurt out. “There’s…there’s a lot that could go wrong and I don’t...I can’t lose him.” It was the first time she’d really admitted that, even to herself, but she couldn’t deny it anymore—the fact that she was this concerned about things with him just proved that she was into him way more than she’d ever been with anyone before. She might even put the L-word on it, but didn’t want to push it that far yet.

“Look, I get it,” Snow said, softer. “It is scary. Terrifying, even. And I know why you’re worried. But you and I both know Killian, and we know that he’s nothing like Neal. You can trust him.” Leave it to Snow to always be an eternal optimist; but, honestly, Emma needed to hear that right now. “Because you deserve a happy ending, Emma. And happy endings always start with hope.”

She was completely right, Emma knew. It was hard to overcome those ingrained emotional walls and instinctive responses, but he’d somehow managed to knock them halfway down while letting her do the same to his; it would be up to her to overcome the rest.

“So do you know what you have to do?” Snow asked quietly.

“Yeah, I do,” Emma replied. She didn’t quite know how yet, but thankfully, she had some time before their date to figure that out. Odds were likely she’d stumble over her words, but hey, not everyone could be an eloquent librarian merman.

“Good. Now, it’s freezing and I’m sure you’d rather be inside where hot water and your clothes are. Come on.” And not waiting another moment, Snow scooped Emma out of the water, hugged her close, and carried her back to the house.

Normally, Emma would complain at being carried around like a pet, but right now, she was glad for it: she was shaking, but wasn’t sure if it was from the cold or her nerves. Because, holy crap: she was probably going on a date with her soulmate tonight...and she was actually, finally excited for that.

Hours later, she woke up—warm in her bed, after spending the rest of the night in a hot bath until she shifted back—to a brief buzz coming from the nightstand. She cracked an eye open and saw the screen of her phone lit up, so she fumbled for the device and blinked her bleary eyes to read it.

Killian 💙 Good morning, luv. Can’t wait for tonight! See you then 😘

Sleepily, she grinned at the screen as her heart skipped a beat. In her early-morning muddledness, she just couldn’t wait to see him again; it hadn’t even been 24 hours, but that was much too long as far as her foggy brain was concerned.

But then she glanced at the time and realized it was much closer to lunch than breakfast, and everything else settled in—and she remembered the weight that this evening was going to carry. Her giddiness waned a bit, replaced by more than a little bit of anxiety, but her eagerness surprisingly didn’t falter.

That was good, right?

Her stomach rumbled then—either from hunger or nervousness, she wasn’t sure—so that was her cue to get up and get moving; the sooner she did, the sooner she’d see Killian.

She slipped into Granny’s once she was dressed and somewhat presentable—a harder task than anticipated, given how sore she still was from the waves’ beating last night. She glanced around, instinctively hoping she might find Killian here, but no such luck. He hadn’t yet replied to her responding text of Same! 😘  so she had hoped that meant he was eating; evidently not.

More dejectedly than she’d care to admit, she found her favorite stool at the counter and took a seat, by herself. Wow, she’d become a sap pretty damn fast, hadn’t she? Well, she could fully blame that on her brother and sister-in-law...and probably a bit on the cute couple in front of her.

At the other end of the counter, Ruby was grinning at and whispering with another adorable brunette, both looking completely smitten as they stole kisses over a milkshake. Normally, she’d roll her eyes at a display like that, but knowing what it was—and how happy it made her friend—she could only smile at it.

She didn’t want to interrupt them, but Ruby noticed her sitting by herself and waved her to come sit down by them. “Emma, this is Dorothy,” she introduced, completely lovestruck.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you,” Emma gushed, completely sincerely. As they chatted over lunch, it was easy to see that Dorothy was completely lovely and absolutely perfect for Ruby. And seeing how totally in love they were just firmed Emma’s resolve: for the first time in ages, she wanted that for herself—and it was actually within reach.

They were laughing at a story Dorothy was telling about growing up in Kansas when something made Emma pause. The doorbell rang and and chill ran down Emma’s spine, freezing her in place. Something dark was there.

She turned to look at who’d just entered: Cruella, followed by a man she’d only seen in pictures: Gold. What the hell was he doing in Storybrooke? And why was he with her? She could feel the darkness rolling off him in waves; she’d gotten used to the feel of a witch or wizard from hanging out with Regina and could recognize the aura of magic that they all held, but his was something much darker and more sinister than she’d ever encountered before.

“Ems? You okay?” Ruby tried to pull her back into the conversation, but Emma couldn’t help but follow Gold with her eyes; whatever he was doing here wasn’t good, especially given the town’s concentration of the supernatural and the mysterious disappearances already connected to him.

“Yeah; sorry,” she apologized, but still shivered when Gold and Cruella took a seat at the table behind them. But she didn’t say anything because she didn’t want to raise any suspicions and cause Gold to run. She did, however, slip her phone out to text Regina, letting her know he was here.

It worked out that Dorothy needed to head out and Ruby had to get back to work, leaving Emma alone to drink her hot chocolate and listen in on the newcomers.

“You’re positive it’s a merman?” Gold said quietly in his Scottish accent; even his voice sounded kind of evil. Shit—was he the friend Cruella had talked about?

“Completely; I know they wouldn’t lie to me,” Cruella answered, sounding somewhat sober for a change. What the hell was going on?

He scoffed. “I still can’t believe you used them; she’s been getting too close to me as it is.”

Emma was surprised they were speaking so candidly; did they not see her sitting here? Or maybe the fact that she’d worn a blue jacket today was disguising her; the red one was still in her car.

“It’s not like they’d suspect anything of me, darling; you’re fine. Now what?”

“Now, I do a bit of fishing. Mermen, in my experience, tend to be...slippery.” He chuckled menacingly at his own bad joke. “I have to act fast if I want to add him to my collection.”

Emma’s heart stopped. In all the chaos of the last 12 hours, she hadn’t once thought of the ramifications of telling Cruella about the merman—she hadn’t even considered that it might put Killian into harm’s way. She’d been too jolted by the revelation to get that far, but now? Fuck.

(Also: did Gold just reveal the fate of the others who’d gone missing?)

He continued, “I’ve got my men on a fishing boat, trawling the cove right now. If it’s as I suspect, the creature uses an enchantment to walk on legs, but needs to return to the water at some point to survive. We’ll catch him sooner or later.” Then he chuckled—an evil thing that gave her goosebumps. “Hope he gets on with the mermaid I’ve caught, too; it would be a shame to not have a matching pair.”

Shit shit shit. Killian was usually in the sea after dark, but if they had plans tonight, then he was probably there now—thus why he hadn’t answered her text. Dammit, she had to warn him.

As quickly and surreptitiously as she could manage, she placed some cash on the counter and slipped out before Cruella saw her. Once out on Granny’s patio, she called Killian. “Please answer, please answer, please answer,” she muttered as it rang, but it went to voicemail.

Frustrated, she hung up. She couldn’t let him know that she knew in a voicemail message. Dammit, she’d just have to get over there herself—but she had to let Regina know what was going on.

Emma snuck down the alley next to the diner and thankfully, Regina answered. “Emma? What’s going on? Is it Gold?”

“Yeah,” she breathed. “He has the mermaid and he’s going after Killian—the merman,” she corrected. “You were right: he’s gathering them; I heard him say he has a collection.”

“Fuck. Okay, I know who to call; you...don’t to anything stupid, but try to stall him.”

“Will do.”

“Just don’t get hurt, okay?”

“I’ll try but no promises,” she sighed. “I...I can’t let him get Killian,” she blurted.

Regina was silent for a moment, then said, “I expect you to tell me all about him once you make sure he’s safe; got it?” Emma could hear her boss smiling over the phone.

“Got it. Talk later?”

“Yup. Good luck.”

She hung up and Emma pocketed her phone, then started to run towards the street. But was that really the best way to get to Killian’s? And what would she do then—jump into the icy water and catch hypothermia trying to warn him?

No, that wasn’t going to work. There was really only one thing she could do now. She just hoped it worked.

Instead, she redirected and snuck in the back door of the diner to a little-used storage room. Quickly, she locked its door, stripped, opened the window, and then focused on her swan form like she’d done the other day. She’d honestly never tried to do this during the day, but she had to give it a shot.

And she thanked whatever higher being was listening when she felt the tingle of her transformation. She focused on nothing but that until it was done. It felt awkward, like wearing clothes that didn’t fit properly, but it seemed to be holding so she wasn’t going to complain.

Not wasting another minute, she took off out the window and across town, making a beeline to the cove. She still didn’t have a plan of action, but she could figure it out on the fly. She just hoped she wasn’t too late.

When the cove came into sight, it wasn’t hard to miss the fishing trawler, sitting uncomfortably large in the center. And to her horror, it was pulling up something in its net—something much too large, and with too many limbs, to be just a fish.

Killian’s panicked cries could barely be heard over the ship’s engine, but her ears were tuned to his voice and the sound sent a pang to her heart as she circled, figuring out her next step. Instinct told her to go free him, but she knew that wouldn’t work as a swan.

A man was standing near the helm operating a device not unlike the controls for one of those claw machines. The arm on the boat that held the net was slowly swinging over the deck under his guidance; if she had any chance to free Killian, it was there.

The guy had no idea what was coming when she divebombed him, forcing him to stumble backwards away from the controls. He took a swing at her, but she flew at him again, sending him overboard.

She landed on the panel, slipping a bit as her feet found purchase, but got enough balance to locate the button labeled “RELEASE” and pecked it with her beak. It took a few tries, but finally, she hit it hard enough and Killian fell a few feet to the deck, groaning when he hit the surface. She’d apologize for any bruises later.

She flitted over (as much as a 25-pound bird could flit) to try to help him out of the net, though he really didn’t need her—she just wanted to.

He tugged it off his face and sat up, giving her a good look at that wonderful chest of his—damn, it was even better than she imagined, with his strong pecs covered in that perfect dusting of hair and—was that a tattoo over his heart? Or was it something else? Now was not the time to be thinking about that, though, especially as he then looked over at her and grinned. “Well, hello again; how did—?”

“You!” A roaring voice interrupted Killian, and from a cloud of smoke that appeared before them, Gold stepped forward. “I should have known it’d be you here. Steal anyone else’s wives lately?”

“Bloody hell,” Killian cursed under his breath. “What do you want, Gold?”

“Well, I had planned on adding you to my collection,” he sneered, “but that seems like too good a fate for the man that destroyed my family.”

“You did that yourself!” Killian shouted back, while desperately trying to shake his tail free of the net. “Milah didn’t love you; she loved me! And you just couldn’t deal with that!”

Oh, shit—Milah was Gold’s wife?

“I lost everything because of you!” Gold continued. “I lost her; my son left me—all because you seduced her!”

“Maybe your son wouldn’t have left you if you hadn’t killed her! She was her own person with her own free will; I did nothing—”

“You didn’t leave well enough alone!” Gold roared, all arguments against him falling on deaf ears. “I should have finished you off when I had the chance...and I think I just might now.”

With another swirl of dark red smoke, a harpoon gun appeared in Gold’s hands and Killian immediately flinched. Fear shone in his wide eyes, and he was trying to move himself away but his tail was still caught in the net; almost literally, it would be like shooting fish in a barrel for Gold.

But not if she could help it. The wizard had hardly lifted the weapon to aim when she took off right at him, throwing her full weight into his shoulder and chest to force him to drop the gun. It clattered to the deck and he with it.

Hoping Killian would take it as a chance to get the hell out of there, she continued to attack, letting her swan brain take over as she flapped her wings, hissed, and pecked at the man. He tried to shove her away but once she’d given her avian instincts control, they wouldn’t let up—this man equalled danger and she wouldn’t stop until he did.

She was so enraged that she barely noticed the ball of white light forming in his palm until it was shooting out at her, catching her left wing and sending her spiraling across the ship. She slammed against the railing on the other side and slumped to the deck, seeing stars and gasping for the breath that had been knocked out of her. Fuck, that stung.

Struggling, she managed to get back on her feet to see that Killian had freed himself from the net and was moving towards the opposite railing. Good; at least he’d be able to get out of here. She was going to have to come up with something quick, though, because Gold was also upright and staring at her with a reptilian grin that made her skin crawl.

“Oh, what do we have here?” he wondered aloud. She tried to flap her wings to get away, but suddenly couldn’t move at all—which, given the way his hand was stretched toward her, was his doing. “You’re no ordinary bird, are you?” He started moving in her direction, and she could see a scaly texture taking over his skin as he used his magic; now she understood why Killian had called him a crocodile. “Perhaps I will be making an addition to my collection today after all; I’d quite like to study you, dearie, and take some of your magic for my own.”

Shit—that was what he was doing? No wonder he was going after the fairies. But she didn’t want to end up a lab rat for some Frankenstein wannabe—she needed to get out of here, and fast.

But the hold his magic had on her wasn’t letting up, and the more she struggled against it, the harder it became to breathe, to think, to even focus on anything—

Until Gold let out a sharp howl of pain and she was let go, wheezing to breathe and figure out what the heck had just happened. Then she noticed the harpoon sticking out of Gold’s foot, slick with an oily substance on it that was too dark to be blood, and followed the angle of the bolt for its source: Killian, still lying on the deck with the weapon in hand.

Gold continued to screech in agony. “What have you done? You’ll pay for this—I’ll see to it!” Despite the pain he was in, he still held up his hand, clearly trying to summon his magic, but nothing came. “What?” he stammered, looking in terror at his palm and waving it about in various ways. Still, nothing happened, until he apparently gave up and huffed out, “This isn’t over!” and waved his hand one last time with the same result.

“Actually, I’m afraid it is,” a female voice said out of nowhere. In a poof of glitter, a woman appeared, dressed all in blue and with a severe look on her face; it was also impossible to miss the sparkly blue wings on her back. “You’ve done enough damage for several lifetimes, Mr. Gold—or should we call you Rumplestiltskin?”

Gold, or whatever his name was, was cowering in fear from the fairy.

“For your crimes, you will be put to trial by the High Fairy Council and punished as we see fit. And as I’m sure you’re aware, we aren’t a forgiving group,” she sternly warned. Then she glanced between Emma and Killian. “Thank you for all your assistance; we’ll take it from here.”

Another whirl of blue magic swept both Gold and the fairy away, leaving a bit of glitter hanging in the air and a few very bewildered individuals (the boat operator had climbed back aboard and seemed to be the most confused of the three of them).

Killian shook his head and blinked, clearly trying to figure out whatever the hell had just happened. He didn’t seem to have completely figured it out, but was recovered enough to tell the driver, “Right; have a good day, then,” before grabbing onto the railing and pulling himself over it back into the sea.

Emma took that as her cue to head off, too, despite the awful ache in her wing from getting hit by Gold’s magic. She flew off the boat and settled in the water, near Killian’s dock so she could make sure he was okay, and watched as the ship sped off and out of the cove, likely breaking some speed limits or wake rules or whatever but no one seemed to be around to complain.

Just as the boat disappeared from sight, Killian’s head popped up not far from her. “There you are; thank goodness,” he sighed, then swam towards her. “The man is insane, but he was right about you—you’re not the average swan, are you, lass?”

She so desperately wanted to tell him the truth, but what if he couldn’t understand her? No, it was better to wait until later.

He didn’t seem to think anything of her silence, though. “Whatever you are, you’re definitely one thing: my savior.” And to her surprise, he reached out and stroked the feathers of her back. The movement let her see a bit more of his chest from where it had been submerged, but not enough to see the mark she’d noticed earlier. Again, they could worry about that later.

What worried her now was that she could feel her adrenaline falling, and with it, the tingle of her transformation; should have known she wouldn’t be able to hold onto this form indefinitely. Thank goodness her car was still over here.

She didn’t want to just fly off on him again, though, so she placed a light peck with her beak on his cheek; just a tap, but hopefully he’d understand somewhat. And then she took off to where her car was hidden, focusing entirely on making it there lest she fall out of the air as a naked woman—which definitely wasn’t the way she wanted to tell him.

Her arm was still killing her when she shifted back to human, and was probably exacerbated by how quickly she dressed before getting behind the wheel. She was cold, sore, and tired as she drove back across town, but also relieved and eager for what the day still held.

She needed a hot bath, some Aleve, and probably a nap, but then: she had a date to get ready for. And though she knew that this one was going to change her life, for the first time in forever, she couldn’t contain her excitement.

After the aforementioned hot bath and a longer nap than she’d intended, she was finishing getting ready when Killian texted again.

‘Twas a busier day than expected; is it alright if we stay in tonight? I’ll cook 😁

“Long” was putting it lightly; and she could never turn down his cooking. She texted back that it sounded lovely, brushed back a strand of hair that had come loose from her ponytail, and then headed downstairs.

She shouted out to Dave and Snow that she was leaving and not to wait up, grabbed her red leather jacket off the coatrack and slipped it on over the frilly white blouse she’d borrowed from Snow, and finally headed out to her car and into the dusk.

As she drove, she wondered what lay ahead. She was feeling uncharacteristically optimistic, despite all that she knew that could go wrong—he might not be her soulmate, or he might get freaked out about her alter ego (alter eagle? How had she never thought of that one before?), or any other number of scenarios could play out. But damn Snow and her damn hope had rubbed off, and Emma was ready to take whatever next step or leap or soar or swim came next.

He greeted her at the door with a tired grin—she could see the weariness in the crinkles around his eyes—and an overdue kiss; it may have only been 30 hours or so since their last, but so much had happened in that short span of time.

Their lips broke apart, but their foreheads stayed connected as they leaned into each other; fatigue clearly had a hold on them both. “I missed you, Emma,” he said softly, wrapping his arms around her. “I...had a long day, and I’m so glad you’re here.” His admission sounded almost like a confession—though, after the day they had and the memories she was sure it had brought up for him, she understood. Even for her, there was something grounding and reassuring about being in his embrace.

For a long moment, they stood there, just holding each other in the entryway, until Killian’s chivalrous side woke up, apparently. “My apologies; I’m not being much of a gentleman. Here; let me take your coat.”

She turned in his arms to let him slip the jacket from his shoulders, but winced a bit when it slid down her sore arm. “You alright, love?” he asked, and glanced down at the limb, no doubt seeing the bruises that had formed up and down it.

“Yeah, just sore; I...had to fight off a predator today.” It was the best she could come up with; she wasn’t about to reveal everything while standing in his foyer.

“One of those wolves go after the flock?” he asked as he hung her jacket in the closet.

“Uh, yeah.” Thankfully, he came up with that one for her.

“I’m going to assume you won.”

“I had some help, but yeah; that thing won’t be bugging us again.” Sometimes, she hated how good she was at double meanings; but with any luck, she wouldn’t need them with him anymore.

He escorted her into the kitchen, where she could smell something divine cooking. “Mm, what is that?”

“Just salmon, with a garlic-brown sugar glaze. How’s it sound?”

“Amazing.”

She poured wine while he finished prepping dinner and told her about his day—where she found out he was a terrible liar, making up a tale about storytime gone awry for the cause of his exhaustion. Good thing she wasn’t going to hold it against him.

As he plated their meals, he told her to go pick out another movie. Alone in his living room, nerves were finally starting to build; she thought she’d be able to wing it, but now that she was here, she had no idea how to tell him everything. Blurting it out seemed anticlimactic, and she wasn’t the wordsmith Killian was. But then a DVD caught her eye, and she had an idea.

When he came into the room, Empire Strikes Back was ready to play, and they settled into it and each other, scooting close in the middle of the couch.

The food was divine, as usual, but even better was just being with him. Like last time, they cast their empty dishes to the side when they were done and curled up even more impossibly close, Killian’s arm around her and her head on his shoulder. It was a testament to how worn out they both were that neither was jumping the other’s bones.

Not far into the movie, it had gotten to one of her favorite scenes—and Killian’s as well, it seemed. “Scoundrel? I like the sound of that,” he said at the same time Han said it on the screen.

He grabbed her hand and mimicked what was playing out between Han and Leia. She was blushing too hard to really play along, but he apparently wasn’t having that.

“You like me because I'm a scoundrel. There aren't enough scoundrels in your life,” he continued when it got to that part.

“I happen to like nice men,” Emma finally caved.

“I'm nice men.”

She couldn’t refute that, and skipped Leia’s next line right to the kissing part, grabbing the collar of his button-up to pull him close. His hand found its way into her hair as he deepened the kiss, lasting much longer than the one on screen, until they needed to break apart for air. And even then, she stole another peck.

They settled back in to watch after that, occasionally exchanging kisses, but mostly just huddled together. He draped a blanket over them when she shivered, and between the warmth of that, the familiarity of the movie, and his soothing scent, she soon found herself fighting to stay awake for the part she really wanted.

The next thing she knew, the room was dark, the movie was over, and the alarm on her phone was going off from where it sat on the coffee table. She jolted up blearily, reaching for it to shut it off on instinct, and then cursing. “Dammit.” She totally missed the part of the movie she’d wanted, hoping Han and Leia’s admissions of love would have helped her out. So much for that.

Killian shifted next to her, also waking up. He stretched, inadvertently distracting her with the way his shirt moved with him and over his muscles, until he flopped back against the cushions and blinked dramatically. “Do you have to leave?” he asked, audibly sad.

“I…” Her original plan may have been foiled, but maybe there was another way to tell Killian everything. “No, I can stay,” she told him. “But...can we go outside?”

“Of course,” he replied with a sleepy smile, then moved to stand. “Let me go grab your jacket.”

“Uh, no,” she stammered out. “I—I don’t need it.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” she breathed. It had been so long since she’d done this, and those old feelings of hurt were threatening to rise. Neal’s voice echoed in her head again—Who could ever love someone like you? But she swallowed it down; she didn’t have to worry about that anymore. Regardless of how this went in regards to the soulmates thing, she trusted Killian with this and wanted to fully let him in. She stood up, maybe not as confidently as she wanted to, but still held her hand out to Killian. “Come on.”

There was a slight furrow in his brow; he could tell something was up. But still he took her hand and let her tug him up, and then followed her outside. The air was definitely cooler than it had been earlier, and goosebumps formed on her skin immediately—though they weren’t entirely caused by the temperature.

“Emma, love, are you sure you don’t want your coat? I’ll go—”

“No,” she cut him off. “I’m fine. Just...give me a minute.”

They walked hand-in-hand to the end of the dock, looking out over the calm water where the sliver of moon was reflecting. It was so peaceful now; it was hard to believe that only hours earlier, it had been so chaotic, even if it was only for a moment.

The faintest tingling started in her spine, so that was her cue. Quickly and carefully, she slipped off her boots and socks, then started tugging at her jeans.

“Emma? What...what are you doing?” Killian had a hand stretched out as he watched her strip, but he clearly had no idea what else to do. It was adorable.

“Bear with me,” she said as she she shimmied her jeans down and stepped out of them.

She reached under the blouse to unlatch her bra, then slid the straps down her arms (wincing again as she moved the left) and tugged it off from under her shirt. The tingling had picked up; she had maybe another minute. So she swiftly took of her underwear and then stepped back from the edge of the dock, standing so her right side was facing Killian.

Slowly now, she grabbed the hem of her top and started to pull it up. Killian audibly swallowed as she moved, but then she heard the hitch in his breath when her soulmark was uncovered. She tugged the top over her head and tossed it to the side, then looked over at him. He was biting back a grin, and tried to school his features when he saw her looking, but was unable to.

Smiling, she faced the end of the dock again and took off in a sprint just as the transformation took hold, and a second later, she was flying over the surface of the water, gliding on her wings.

She arced back quickly, landing on the surface as smoothly as she could, and then floated at the end of the dock, watching for Killian’s reaction.

Understandably, he looked shocked—eyes wide, jaw slack. He took a faltering step forward, but then paused again, just staring at her. She could almost see the wheels turning in his head as his eyes narrowed at her, no doubt piecing everything together. But her nerves were back—had this been a mistake?

Just when she was starting to debate flying off and never coming back, a huge grin took over his features. “Emma, that’s really you?” he said, coming forward to take a seat at the end of the dock.

She still wasn’t sure if he’d understand her by talking, so settled on nodding and fluffing her wings.

His grin didn’t falter. “It’s been you...this whole time.” He chuckled and, to her surprise, started unbuttoning his shirt. That was an odd transition; was he going to join her in the water?

But he’d barely gotten to the end of the row of buttons when he was shoving the fabric to the side, revealing the right side of his chest—more specifically, the mark she’d seen earlier but couldn’t figure out. She paddled forward to get a better look at it, and was shocked she hadn’t noticed it then.

He leaned over so she could see, and right over his heart, low on his breast, was a birthmark in the distinctive shape of a swan.

A swan. Just like her.

Holy shit.

Despite all the hoping, despite what was drawn on her own side, despite already having chosen him, she was still completely shocked. These things didn’t happen to her—life rarely went in her favor; not since her adoption.

But here she was, staring at the man she adored—her soulmate.

It was like something had clicked into place in her life—a Killian-shaped piece finally snapping in where it was supposed to be. All those fears and worries disappeared in an instant, leaving her with nothing but relief and, because she could finally admit it: love.

And all she could do was sigh.

(Goddammit, why didn’t she have lips right now?)

As she stared and let the truth sink in, Killian had finished taking off his shirt, revealing his solid, toned upper body, and stood up to undo his jeans. He glanced around for any onlookers, and, finding none, slid both pants and underpants off in one smooth, inexcusably hot motion.

He sat back down, dangling his bare toes (bare everything) over the water, and started toying with his leather cuff. But then he looked up at her through those thick lashes and smirked. “I suppose you already know this part, so it’s not much of a reveal; yet I can’t help but be nervous.”

Not knowing what else to do, she encouragingly headbutted his shin; hopefully, he’d get the message.

“Aye; you’re right,” he replied. “And you definitely had the harder reveal; it’s not fair for me to hold back.” He took a deep breath. “Here goes.”

He slipped the wrist off his cuff and almost immediately, his legs glowed with a dim white light—brighter than his pale skin but not so much as to blind or draw attention.

And when it faded, there was his tail—brilliant blue, shimmering and sparkling in the tiny bit of moonlight; it drove her swan brain crazy.

A moment later, he carefully pushed himself off the dock, silently sliding into the water with the quietest splash and falling below the surface. But he came back up a second later, brushing the hair from his eyes and coming closer.

It was like she was finally seeing him in his element. She’d been too shocked last night and too distracted today to really take it in, but damn, he was so perfect as a merman: the way drops of water clung to his lashes and beard, the way it pooled in his collarbones and plastered the hair to his chest, and the way his sea blue eyes seemed to echo the color of the water around them. He was just...stunning.

And somehow, he seemed just as taken with her—she knew swans were one of the prettier birds, but the reverent way he was staring at her made her feel flushed in a way she didn’t realize she was capable of in this form; if he kept it up, she was sure to look more like a flamingo soon.

Tentatively, he raised his hand and slowly, softly brushed the back of his fingers along the feathers of her neck. She shivered and leaned into his touch; it felt amazing. He smiled and continued, venturing further up until her head was cupped in his palm.

His eyes flitted over her, studying, but he found her gaze again. Smiling, he said, “I guess now I know why I couldn’t keep my eyes off you in either form. Should have known these marks would be literal.” His easy grin cut those adorable dimples into his scruff, and she just couldn’t stay silent anymore.

She didn’t know if he’d understand, but she had faith that this soulmate thing wasn’t so cruel as to prevent her from communicating with him. So she swallowed and confidently told him, “I love you, Killian.”

His eyes grew wide in surprise and his grin got impossibly larger, but then he answered, “I love you, too, Emma.”

She couldn’t help the excited flutter of her wings then, which made Killian jump back, laughing. But she quickly regained her composure and swam back to him, bumping into his shoulder and placing a light peck with her beak on his cheek. He reciprocated by wrapping his arms around her body and holding her close.

To any onlooker, it looked at best awkward, at worst...well, she wasn’t going to go there. But as they floated there next to the dock, she couldn’t help but feel that everything was just as it should be.

eeeeeeeeee, I hope you liked that!!! Thanks for reading! tagging @kat2609 @thesschesthair @optomisticgirl @fergus80 @xpumpkindumplingx @shipsxahoy @selfie-wench @mryddinwilt @cocohook38 @annytecture @wingedlioness @initiala @fairytalesandtimetravel @word-bug @pirateherokillian @bleebug @its-imperator-furiosa @queen-mabs-revenge @flipperbrain @sherlockianwhovian @laschatzi @ive-always-been-a-pirate @jscoutfinch @nfbagelperson @stubble-sandwich​ @killian-whump​ @lenfaz @phiralovesloki @athenascarlet @kmomof4 @ilovemesomekillianjones @whimsicallyenchantedrose @snowbellewells @jackieorioncat @bmbbcs4evr @branlovesouat @jennjenn615 @jaiabean @therooksshiningknight @a-faekindagirl @technicallysizzlingcloud @deathbycaptainswan @superadam54 @unworried-corsair @dreadpirateemma

[goforwardgreenwriter-blog]

The Worm Reads: Empire of Storms, Ch 19 - 20

The last few chapters utterly spoiled me with good content in form of the witches.But everything good, sadly, cannot last forever.

Elide Lochan kept quiet during the two days she and Lorcan trekked through the eastern edges of Oakwald, heading for the plains beyond.

*groans* Elide, I love you, but your POVs are just not fun to read, I’m sorry. Maybe because my instincts are telling me we might get a Lorcan POV too, and I’m starting to be irked by this guy.

But [Elide] still slept soundly these last two nights—thanks to the belly full of meat courtesy of Lorcan’s hunting. He’d scrounged up two rabbits, and when she’d devoured all of hers in minutes, he’d given her half of what was left of his. She hadn’t bothered being polite by refusing.

Girl, you were kept prisoner for how long? Don’t feel sorry for eating. Besides, Lorcan is an immortal warrior, yeah? So he probably doesn’t need to eat as much as you do during a day.

So they make it to a city, and Elide, being one of the few smart characters in this book, realizes Lorcan needs a disguise.

Elide surveyed herself, and set down her pack. First, she removed the leather jacket, even though it left her feeling like a layer of skin had peeled off, then she rolled up the sleeves of her white shirt. But without the tight leather, the full size of her breasts could be seen—marking her as a woman and not a slip of a girl that people assumed she was.

I say once again; full grown women are not the only ones with huge breasts. You  can be a teenager with big breasts. Hell, I’m a young adult woman and I don’t have large boobs at all! Your breasts size have very little to do with your age once you hit puberty.

[Lorcan’s] eyes traveled from [Elide’s] feet to her head, and he frowned again. “Bigger tits won’t prove or hide anything.”

See, even Lorcan understands this. Also really, Lorcan says ‘tits’? 

They roll up to town and there are soldiers checking wagons and inspecting people, searching for her. Since Elide’s limp gives herself away, Lorcan fixes it temporarily with magic.

[Lorcan] opened the door, and by the time [Elide’s] eyes adjusted to the glow of the wrought-iron chandeliers, Lorcan’s face had changed. His eyes might never be warm, but a bland smile was on his face, his shoulders relaxed—as if he were slightly inconvenienced by the wait but eager for a good meal. He almost looked human.

I know I said I despised Lorcan, but at least he’s willing to listen to Elide and make an effort to disguise himself. Maybe these chapters won’t be too painful to read.

“Brother,” Lorcan murmured so no one else could hear. “I am your brother.” “You are my husband,”  [Elide] said with equal quiet. “We have been married three months. Follow my lead.”

I see your “pretending to date/be married’ fanfic trope, SJM. I see you.

[Elide] said simply, “Men will not fear the threat of a brother. I would still be unclaimed—still be open for … invitations. I have seen how little respect men have for anything they think they are entitled to. So you are my husband,” she hissed, “until I say otherwise.”

Jesus, way to throw men under the bus. Why is it that all unnamed and minor male characters in SJM’s books are addicted to rape and sexual harassing women? Like I know it happens in this time period ( and today) but Christ, all of these men are just frothing at the mouth to claim a woman or some shit.

Elide listens to the next table, which turns out to be a traveling carnival group.

Elide lifted her eyes to Lorcan’s—he gave a nod. She took a sip of her stew, steeling herself, thinking of Asterin Blackbeak. Charming, confident, fearless. She’d always had her head at a jaunty angle, a looseness to her limbs, a hint of a smile on her lips. Elide took a breath, letting those memories sink into muscle and flesh and bone.

Awww, I love little tidbits like this, showing how much of an impact Manon and her Thirteen had on Elide. Girls supporting girls is so important and precious.

Elide manages to convince the carnival group that she and Lorcan are traveling performers, and they are allowed in. I’m starting to warm up to Elide again - she uses her intelligence, he speaking skills, and her wits to solve her problems. It’s refreshing compared to the other characters always using magic and strength.

His wife. Gods above.

Unghhh, Lorcan’s POV.

Lorcan ignored the hand the bearded man offered and jumped into the back of the wagon, reminding himself to sit close to Marion, to put an arm around her bony shoulders and look relieved and happy to have a troupe again.

But again, he’s making an effort at least. That’s more than Aelin would do; she’d just threaten to burn everyone in her path until she gets her way.

Marion rolled her eyes, patting Lorcan’s knee. He nearly cringed at every touch. Even with his lovers, outside the bed itself, he didn’t like casual, careless contact. Some found that intolerable. Some thought they could break him into a decent male who just wanted a home and a good female to work beside him. Not one of them had succeeded.

Christ Lorcan, she’s just patting your knee. Right after I gave your kudos for putting effort into your disguise and everything.

“I want to see life—see the world,” Marion said, her voice softening. “I want to see everything.” Lorcan wondered if Marion would even get to do that if he failed in his task, if the Wyrdkey he carried wound up in the wrong hands.

Like I said, gonna be a doozy when Lorcan finds out his Wyrdkey is a fake.

Does it sound like I’m stretching for things to say? Because I am. Honestly this subplot is just.... really really boring. It’s just Lorcan being grumpy and brooding and while Elide is a nice and interesting character, SJM just isn’t doing anything cool with her aside from the occasional little moment here and there.

“But Aelin Galathynius,” Nik mused. Marion’s hand went limp on Lorcan’s knee. “Who knows what she will do. She has not called for aid, has not asked soldiers to come to her. Yet she held Rifthold in her grip—killed the king, destroyed his castle. But gave the city back.” The bench beneath them groaned as Marion leaned forward. “What do you know of Aelin?”

NO NO I’M SORRY I TAKE IT BACK THIS SUBPLOT IS INTERESTING PLEASE NO AELIN GUSHING PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

“Rumors, here and there,” Nik said, shrugging. “They say she’s beautiful as sin—and colder than ice. They say she’s a tyrant, a coward, a whore. They say she’s gods-blessed—or gods-damned. Who knows? Nineteen seems awfully young to have such burdens … Rumor claims her court is strong, though. A shape-shifter guards her back—and two warrior-princes flank her on either side.”

Aedion is the one who came up with the guarding her sides/back thing. How the fuck do other people know about it? Also unghhh everyone in this book just has to be royalty don’t they.

Some soldiers stop them and order them all out, presumable looking for Elide. Then they fuck off and Lorcan angsts about happy endings and how Elide’s goal is foolish.

There was no such thing as a better world—no such thing as a happy end. Because there were no endings.

Don’t be like that Lorcan, you’re a hot attractive magic dude in a shitty YA book. Of course you’re gonna get a happy ending. Next chapter!

Rowan Whitethorn just needed a place to rest. He didn’t give a shit if it was a bed or a pile of hay or even beneath a horse in a stable. As long as it was quiet and there was a roof to keep out the driving veils of rain, he didn’t care.

Dorian and Rowan have made it to Skull’s Bay.

But [Rowan] and the young king had chosen another route, during the many hours he’d made good on his promise to teach Dorian about magic. They’d worked for only minutes at a time—since it’d be no use if the king wrecked their little boat should his power slip its leash. So it had been exercises with ice: summoning a ball of frost to his palm, letting it melt. Over and over.

Aww, this is nice. I kinda wish we could’ve actually seen this, but it’s a nice mental image nonetheless.

But as if the gods themselves wanted to test him, a gust of rain-cooled wind sprayed into their faces, and some sense pricked in its wake. A shift in the air. Like a great pocket of power gathered close, beckoning. The knife at his side was instantly in his soaked hand as he searched the rooftops, revealing only plumes of rain. Rowan quieted his mind, listening to the city and storm around them.

So Rowan’s magic picks up some shady shit. What, pray tell, could be after them in Skull’s Bay?

Rowan sheathed his knife. “Then stay close and keep alert.”

Oh. Never mind, then. We transition then into Dorian’s POV.

Aelin had once confirmed that Rolfe was indeed soulless and indeed tattooed. As for the map … She’d shrugged, saying Rolfe claimed it stopped moving when magic fell. Dorian wondered if that map now indicated that he and Rowan walked through his city—if it marked them as enemies.

Seriously, Rolfe is so cool. A pirate damned without a soul with a magic map on his hands? Gimmie that novel! I wish SJM actually did something with the cool concepts she makes.

Two guards stood halfway down the block—guards not for any uniform, but for the fact that they were standing in this storm, hands on their swords. Rowan angled his head in a way that told Dorian the prince was likely contemplating whether it was worth it to chuck the men into the roiling harbor.

Rowan: How dare Darrow imply that my gf and I can’t be proper leaders? We are extremely talented in diplomacy!

Also Rowan: Hmm I’m gonna toss the guards of the guy I arranged a meeting with into the ocean lol.

Storm-Chaser. Lady Ann. Tiger-Star. The sterns of ships. Every table was made from them. They hadn’t been taken from wrecks. No, this was a trophy room—a reminder to those who met with the Pirate Lord of how, exactly, he had gained his crown.

Seriously why are SJM’s side characters so awesome and bad ass and intriguing but her main cast is so boring and lacks any development? Cut out Aelin and her court and give me a novel about Darrow, the witches, and Rolfe’s pirate army. I’d pay good money for that fic.

A door behind the bar opened, and a slim, brown-haired young woman stepped out. Her apron marked her as the barmaid, but her shoulders were back, head high—gray eyes sharp and clear as she scanned them and remained unimpressed. “He was wondering when you two would come snooping,” she said, her accent rich and thick—like Aedion’s.

Aye lmaooo you call them out girl.

Dorian nodded, something in his chest easing. “And you—your magic is … better?” That hard face yielded nothing. “I’ll manage.” Not an answer.

Lmao don’t worry Dorian, as soon as Rowan needs his magic he’ll be able to shoot frost balls out of his ass. Because what is a magic system?

Dorian didn’t know what he expected from the Lord of Pirates. But a dark-haired man, a day past thirty if that, lounging on a red velvet chaise before the rain-splattered curve of windows was not it.

Damn, SJM, you gonna leave me hanging just as soon as we get to an awesomely built up character? Apparently so.

[sherrybaby14]

Welcome to My Cage

Summary:  You got lost in the woods, and found yourself in a very unexpected place: Hell.  

Warnings:  Dub-con (hazy head, hypnosis), smut, virgin reader, Plot? What plot? PORN

Rated: E

Characters: Lucifer x Reader

A/N:  The is for Angelina’s 2k gif challenge.  @atc74 Here is my gif: 

It is also heavily inspired by Missio’s Bottom of the Deep Blue Sea (I listened to it on repeat while I wrote this).  

Tags: @thecynicalnerd @marauderice @mac5323 @idonthavehusbandsihavelovers @negan-is-god @kellyn1604 @roschelesworld @taintedgenre @screeching-pterodactyl-fangirl @purplemuse89 @blondesouthsquad @buckyscrystalqueen @kawaiirepublic @captainemwinchester 

                Clouds rumbled. You looked up in time to see them cover the moon, plunging the forest further into darkness.  A stick snapped and your head whipped towards the noise. Everyone told you the Devil’s Waterfall was an easy hike, with a breathtaking end.  You stuck close to the creek, but never arrived at a waterfall and the only thing taking your breath away was the fear of being eaten by a mountain lion.  

               Turning around again might get you more lost.  Of course, you’d given up on the hike hours ago and headed back towards your car, or at least you thought you had, but it was like the creek split into threes you never saw coming.  Nothing looked familiar, even more so since the sun disappeared.  

               There were two options. Someone would see your car abandoned on the side of the road and realize a hiker was lost, sending a search party for you, of course, that could take days.  Waiting on people was not your strong suit, but you knew chances of getting out of the forest tonight were slim to none when the sun rose you would get a better sense of direction and might end up rescuing yourself.  

                Thunder roared and a raindrop hit your head.  At least the weather would keep the wildlife away. Your eyes darted towards the cave in the wall of the cavern to your left.  It looked ancient, with a spider web visible as lightning lit up the sky. It wasn’t a den, and it would keep you dry for the night.  

                Heavy feet walked over the rocks into the hillside. You wiped the web away stepping inside right as the rain picked up, giant drops exploded on the forest ground, the wind picked up blowing them inside your cave, forcing you to step further inside.  

                CRASH! CRACK!  You squealed and fell backward, landing on your rear as your ears rung. A bolt of lightning almost hit your feet.  Another bought gave you some light to see the scorched rock in front of you, almost as if the bolt went sideways and was reaching for you.  

                Your heart was pounding as you scrambled backward, away from the vicious storm raging outside.  There was a heat coming from your behind you, more of a warmth. The sensation made you run your hands over your body, trying to double check you weren’t struck by the lightning.

                Before your hands made it to your feet a strange humming sound filled your ears.  You glanced behind you, expecting to see blackness, but instead, there was a soft red light. It was far off in the distance, much deeper than you thought the cave went, and more of a haze than a light.  It was faint enough you would have missed it if you’d blinked.  

                You turned over and stood up in the same motion, your eyes locked on the red hue.  It was dangerous and stupid to walk further into the hillside, but there wasn’t time to process these thoughts before you stepped forward, progressing further into the darkness.  

                The humming grew louder as the red haze became brighter.  You wanted to call out, but your voice caught in your throat.  A sensation washed over you, making your footsteps pause, the voice in your head screaming to retreat, but the anxiety it caused washed away when the humming increased.  Your eyelids went heavy as your feet carried on.  

                The cave sloped downward, replacing the red glow with a light visible at the bottom of the path.  It was impossible to tell if you’d walked for five minutes or five hours, the sound of the rain and thunder long vanished.  At the bottom of the incline, the cave straightened out again, almost as if it went into a room.  It was not apparent the red light was from fire.  

               The humming voice turned into singing, the melody lulling your body onwards.  A few more steps and you would enter the room at the bottom.  Your heart tightened as a light sweat broke out on your brow, you should turn around and run for the exit, pray that a mountain lion eats you rather than face what was in front of you, but the voice grew louder and the thoughts were knocked from your head.  

               A dull calmness settled over you as you reached the bottom.  It was a room, but the walls were made out of the same rock as the cave.  Torches lined the place, giving it a sacrificial glow. In the center of it all was a giant cage, the bars black flecked with red.  If that wasn’t enough to frighten you, the man behind them should have been more than enough.  

                “I knew you’d hear my call.” The blond gave you a wink and a sly smile, his blue eyes looking dangerous enough for the devil himself.

                The wave of fear returned and you turned to run.

                “Ahh.” You gasped and covered your mouth.  The path you walked down was replaced by another stone wall.  

                “Don’t be afraid.”  The man’s voice was too cool for the warm room.  

                You ignored him and ran forward, pressing your hands to the wall.  He started to sing again, this time the lyrics too clear to ignore.

                “Welcome to my cage little lover. Time to rearrange with you baby. Still, don’t know your name Miss Honey. Let’s go up in flames pretty lady.”  

                The heaviness returned, like a warm blanket keeping you safe from everything and everyone who would wish you harm.  You started to turn back towards the cage.  

                “That’s it Little One.”  His voice was so comforting.  

                A hand stuck out from between the bars, his palm up, beckoning you to join him.  He didn’t sing but continued to hum the melody.  Your eyes were glued to his hand and slowly you lifted your own as you walked towards him, wanting nothing more than to place your palm against his.  A whimper escaped your lips.  

                “It will be alright.”  He flexed his fingers towards him. “I’ll take care of you.”

                You could no longer tell if the whimper was because there was no escape or because you needed to feel his skin against yours.   You ignored the shake in your hand as you dipped your finger into his.  The contact felt hotter than the lightning strike.  

                Instincts made you pull your hand away, but he gripped down hard, causing the heat to shoot down your arm.  Your eyes went wide as you tried to tug out of his iron grip. You looked up at him, desperate for an answer as to what was happening.  

                The flames made his skin look bright red, his blue eyes glowing with a hint of evil as a sinister grin spread across his face.  Whatever trance you were in broke and you almost your mouth as the blood-curdling scream broke free.  

                As quickly as a blink you found yourself in a whole new place.  Now it was a room, with a tall ceiling, complete with a night sky painted on it.  The walls were black, but had white torches hanging, illuminating the room with white fire.  

                Your scream stopped as you took in your new surroundings.  The only thing in the room was a bed, right in the center.  It was nothing fancy but had black satin sheets turned down.  You got the feeling it wasn’t meant for sleeping.

                Your leg stuck out when you took a step forward. Your hiking clothes and pack were gone. You had on a long sating negligée, black of course, that had a cut up to your thigh.  It had thin straps and was backless, looking down you could tell it was the only thing that covered your body now.  

                Bringing one of your hands up to your head confirmed the dingy outdoor hairstyle was gone.  Your locks were perfectly styled and pined away from your face.  Blinking several times let you know your eyelashes were extended, and you had a feeling a mirror would show your make-up done much more masterfully than you were capable of doing.  

                  “I told you I’d take care of you.”  The voice sent a shiver down your spine.

                “Where Am I?”  You didn’t want to turn around. “Who are you?”  

                “You’re safe.” He was right behind you. “I have many names, but you can call me Luc.”

                “What do you want from me?” You stepped forward and turned around.

                A wave of lust washed over you.  There was no denying the man was attractive before, but now he stood before you in only a pair of black satin pants.  They hung low on his hips showing off his cut physique.

                “Your help.” He stepped forward, obviously aware the effect he was having on you. “I’ll make it enjoyable for you too.”

                Luc’s hand touched your shoulder and ran up your neck, his eyes dancing over your face as he cupped your cheek.  He started to hum as he bent down, lightly pushing his lips to yours.  There was a warmth, not as intense as when you grabbed his hand, but it took your breath away.  He continued to hum as his lips brushed yours, relaxing you as his arm wrapped around the small of your back.  

                His lips parted, urging yours to do the same. You did not hesitate as you parted your kiss and his tongue dove inside your mouth.  He was warm and inviting. His tongue soft as it prodded against yours, urging participation.  You were far from experienced, but everything felt so good you returned his motions, bringing your hands around his neck in the process.  Luc let out a grunt of approval and pulled you closer against his chest, deepening the kiss in the process.  

                It felt like your feet weren’t on the floor as you kissed him, running one of your hands up the back of his head, then scratching your fingernails down. Your eyes fluttered open and you swore the walls were vibrating.  The image made you break the kiss.  Luc did not let you go and instead dipped his head to your neck, licking the exposed flesh.

                “Luc, where are we?” Your eyes scanned the walls, noticing there was no door. “I swear the walls were vibrating.”  

                “They were.”  He placed light kisses down your shoulder, stopping at the strap. “Because of you.”  

                His finger’s traced the thin material on your shoulder before sliding it down.  Your hand flew up to catch it before your breast was exposed.  You took a step away from him as he stood up, an annoyed look on his face.  

                “I don’t understand…”  Your head felt heavy. Luc started to hum again and your thoughts muddled. “Stop…You’re hypnotizing me.”  

                You held out an arm as you stepped back, wanting to keep your distance from the man.

                “Modern humans always require such an explanation.” He sighed. “You were much easier to control a thousand years ago.”  

                “Humans?” You cried out. “What are you?”

                “I’m an Angel. Wrongfully imprisoned.” His voice sent another calming wave through you, one you didn’t appreciate, but couldn’t fight. “And you, you are a key.”  

                He was right in front of you again.  Your palm flush with his chest, elbow bent.  You looked up into his beautiful blue eyes and felt your resolve start to melt.  

                “I was lucky to find you.” He ran the back of his hand down your cheek. “You are going to get us both out of here.”  

                Luc bent down again and kissed you.  His words didn’t make much sense, but his lips on yours made your heart flutter.  Your eyes began to close as the walls started to slightly vibrate.  

                “Little Lover.” He broke the kiss and pressed his forehead to yours. “We’re in my cage.  Your energy is enough to tear down the walls.”  

                He pushed his mouth to yours again and parted his lips.  You let his tongue dip into your mouth once more and a slight moan came out.  The walls almost shook.  

               “Tonight I am going to harness your energy.”  He pulled away and scooped you up in the process. You wrapped your arms around his neck, feeling like a bride as he walked towards the bed. “And I promise you will enjoy every second of it Honey.”  

                Luc knelt on the bed as he set you down. Your heart flared as he situated himself next to you.  

                “I’ve never….” You started to speak, but he placed a finger to your lips.

                “Shhhhh.”  He leaned over you and started kissing your neck, humming in the process. “Your innocence is what called to me.”  

                “You don’t even know my name.” You arched your neck, wanting to give him more access as your hand reached up and grabbed his strong arm.

                “I know everything about you Little Miss.” His hand reached down to your knee and started to slide up your leg. “By the time tonight is through, I’ll know you better than anyone ever has or will.  I will know your soul.”

                You ran your hand down his arm to his wrist, limply grabbing ahold of it, unsure if you wanted him to stop of not.  As his touch trailed up your thigh you parted your legs.

                “Ah,” Luc nipped at your neck. “Good girl.”  

                His fingers flattened as he pushed his palm against your sex, cupping you in the process. Luc’s mouth kissed up your neck and cheek until his lips found yours.  He started kissing you with passion as two of his fingers ran up your slit. There was lubrication there, causing you to gasp with a sudden awareness of how aroused you were.  

                Luc didn’t stop kissing you as his fingers stopped dragging when they reached the top of your sex, he started rubbing in a circle.  You cried out against his mouth and squeezed down on his wrist.  Your other hand went to the back of his head since it was the only body part you had easy access to. Nobody had ever touched you like this before and you didn’t know how to respond.

                “Just do what feels natural,”  Luc spoke in between kisses as he moved on top of you, before descending down your body.  “I’ll take care of the rest.”

                You shut your eyes and tried to focus on something, but your body felt like it was coming undone.  Luc’s lips kissed down your body, over the flimsy satin nightgown you wished was removed.  His fingers continued to rub in circles, bringing your bundle of nerves alive.  

                Luc’s wrist spun making you whine as he increased the pressure with the movement.  Then you felt wetness against your entrance and your eyes popped open.

                You looked down to see his face between your thighs.  His right hand working against your clit, while his tongue poked at your hole.  His tongue wasn’t overly thick, but as it wiggled inside of you, there was a stretching sensation.  

                “You tasted like honey.” He pulled back and licked his lips. “Try and relax.  Let me inside.”  

                His fingers pressed down harder on your bud and you dropped your head against the pillow.  The ceiling was vibrating and you shut your eyes, not wanting to focus on the surroundings, only what Luc was doing to your body.  

                He started to hum that melody and the tightness in your thighs vanished.  There was still a slight stretch, but his mouth covered your sex as his tongue slid in and out of you.  You let out a moan and Luc responded by picking up speed.  

                The hum from his mouth vibrated through your entire body.  The sensation mixed with his fingers and tongue was too much and soon you found yourself coming undone, withering beneath him.  

                “AHHHH!!!” You arched your back as the explosion came from your core.  

                Luc kept lapping between your folds and you made unintelligible noises and you wiggled.  Your body trying to still itself as you caught your breath.  Between the sounds of Luc licking your juices and your moans you swore you heard a cracking.  

                You opened your eyes and noticed there was a line separating the walls.  The white light faltering for the red glow in that part of the room.  Before you could comprehend Luc’s hands were on your hips, lifting you up.  You gave him what assistance you could as the black negligee slid over your head.  Luc moved between your legs and looked down at you.

                “You look like my Princess.” He licked his lips. “I want to taste every bit of you.”  

                One of his hands slid up your chest, cupping your breast in the process.  Your breath caught at the touch, but he kept moving until his fingers were half on your neck, half on your face.  He pushed his hand down as his mouth pressed to yours.  

                You weren’t eager to taste yourself but didn’t put up a fight as his tongue worked against yours.  The movement of his mouth distracted you from any other thoughts as you returned his kiss, feeling another haze coming over you.  

                That trance was broken as you felt pressure between your legs.  You pulled your head back at to the side, then looked down.  Luc was nude between your legs, the tip of his cock ready to dive into your pussy.

                “Wait.” You gripped his arms. “I’m not…”

               “Shhh.” Luc hummed and kissed your lips. “Relax and let me inside.”

                He jutted his hips forward.  There was a pain as he broke through you.  You cried out and wrapped your arms around his neck, squeezing tight.  

                “It will only hurt for a moment.”  Luc pushed in further.  

                Tears stung your eyes as you were stretched further than you thought possible.  Your thighs shook, unsure how much you could take.  Luc leaned forward, putting more weight on you.  He kissed your neck and pulled back so his eyes were right about yours, nose to nose.

                “Trust me.” He placed a kiss. “You need to relax. I will make you feel better than you thought possible. Let me in.”

                You took a deep breath and nodded, willing your muscles to relax.  

                “Good girl.” Luc kissed your forehead as he sunk inside you. “Very good girl.”

                The previous orgasm left you wet enough, but he was so large there was no doubting the feeling of fullness as you struggled to accommodate his girth, even with relaxing.  You bit back the tears from the sting and hoped he would bottom out soon.

                “You’re doing so good Honey.”  He peppered you with kisses. “Soon the hard part will be over. I’ll make you feel so good.”

                You nodded as he pushed forward again, filling you to the hilt.  When he was seated deep inside of you he stayed still, letting your body adjust to him. The entire time he kissed your face and praised you.  

               “Only a special woman can take me all the way.” He kissed. “You truly are blessed.”

                Soon the ache between your legs dulled and you found yourself moving your hips around his cock, curious what it would feel like when he began.  Sensing you were ready Luc pulled out slightly before pushing back inside.  

                The small sensation made you moan, especially when his pelvis brushed your over sensitive clit.

                “See.” He kissed your neck. “I told you. I’ll make you feel amazing.  Just do what feels natural.”  

                Luc straightened out, so his chest was in front of your eyes.  He continued to rock in and out of you, stretching you in the process.  You let out a moan as your hands trailed down his back, stopping at his ass you gripped his muscular cheeks and squeezed as he drove back inside of you.  

                He let out a grunt, interpreting your gesture as a suggestion to speed up.  Soon he was thrusting into you and grinding against your clit with every pump.  Again you were a withering mess underneath him, as you rocked your hips, greedy for the blooming orgasm.  

                “Are you going to cum?” He arched his shoulders and looked down at you.

                The ceiling behind him was crumbling away, but you didn’t pay any attention as you nodded.  Moving your hips with his thrusts and moaning.  Luc’s hand went back to your neck. He spread his fingers so two were on your cheek and he put his mouth to yours.  

                The orgasm ripped through you, spreading to your fingers and toes, making you curl and uncurl them with the sensation.  You went to kiss Luc, but his lips were still on yours. The orgasm had distracted you too much to pay attention, but now you noticed a heat from his hand and a slight burning sensation from your throat.  

                You tried to scream, feeling like the life was being sucked out of you.  Then Luc closed his mouth and pulled his lips off of yours.  He arched his neck back and let out an inhuman screech.  You wanted to scream too, losing any concept of what was happening, but then you felt him erupt inside of you, his white cream coating your walls, filling you up.  

                His juices re-awoke the orgasm and the tingles of pleasure returned to your body.  It was too much to handle.  Your head lulled to the side and you saw there was no bed.  You were on the rocky floor.  The last thing you saw before the darkness took hold was the black iron bars melting away.

 ~~~  

                A dull headache became more intense.  You let out a groan as you opened your eyes.  

                “Oh God Y/N.”  Your roommate jumped up from the chair. “You’re awake.  You had us terrified.”  

                “Where am I?”  You looked around the room and recognized a hospital.  

                “No more hiking alone.”  Your roommate hit the call button. “You were missing for eighteen hours.  Some hikers found you passed out next to the creek.  You hit your head on a rock.  You had a concussion. You could have died.”  

                “What about Luc?” Memories of the beautiful blonde man between your legs were on the forefront of your mind.

                “Luc?” Your roommate raised an eyebrow. “You were alone.”  

                “I wasn’t in a cave? The storm came on, I had to get shelter.”  

                “What storm?”  She looked worried. “It was a clear night.  The Doctor better get in here.”

                “It felt so real.”  You realized it must have been a dream.  

                Your body shook when the memory of Luc on top of you flashed before your eyes, the way he felt buried deep inside made you bite your lip and curl your toes.  Before you accidentally let a moan slip the door to your room opened up.  

                A middle-aged woman walked in wearing a white coat with a stethoscope around her neck.  

                “You’re awake.”  She pulled out a penlight and walked forward to check your eyes. “That was one nasty spill you took.  You’re lucky a wild animal didn’t find you first all the way out there.”

                The door to your room was left open. On the outside was a large mirror, now giving you the perfect view of your reflection. You ignored the doctor and turned your head to the side.  There was a perfect handprint on your neck and cheek.  You traced your fingers over the outline of where Luc’s fingers had been, holding you lovingly as he took something from deep inside you.

                “It’s a first-degree burn mark.”  The doctor put the penlight away. “Should clear up within a week.  We’re guessing you landed near an old fire pit, maybe one of the rocks was still warm.”

                To anyone else, the markings look random, but they made your heart race. It was real.  

                “We will keep you overnight for observations, but looks like no concussion.”  She stood up straight. “No more solo hiking okay? It’s not safe.”

                “Thank you, Doctor.” Your roommate added. “I’ll make sure she sticks to that.”

                “One other thing.” The Doctor turned. “There’s some FBI agents here.  They want to ask you some questions.”

                “What does the FBI want with you?” Your roommate glared.

                “Huh?” You were still studying the mark on your face.

                “If you’re up to it, I will send them in, or else I can lie and hold them off a little longer.” The Doctor didn’t look concerned. “I guess there have been some disappearances lately.  I told them this wasn’t a kidnapping, but they want to question you anyway.”

                “Lie. Please.”  You gulped.  Was it a kidnapping? Would anyone believe you if you told the truth?

               What was the truth?  You couldn’t even answer that as another yawn escaped your body. You felt very weak again.  

                “Rest. Don’t worry about anything Y/N.” Your roommate went to the Doctor. “I’ll talk to the FBI, get them to leave.”

                You nodded and rolled on your side as the door shut. The mark on your face started to tingle as an arm wrapped around your middle.

                “I told you I’d keep you safe Little Lover.”  A phantom placed a kiss on your cheek and you smiled as sleep took hold, no longer concerned with reality.  

   Welcome to my cage little lover Time to rearrange with you baby Still don't know your name miss honey Let's go up in flames pretty lady

[badcowboy69]

Thundering Trivia

Whew bet y’all thought you’d not see another bit of writing from me ever again, huh?  Sorry for the absence and hopefully I can keep the stories going again.  Cute little short (well short for me) story dealing with Travis and Riley on a little outing of theirs out in Zion Canyon.  Bit of mild fluff, safe for work, and something new for any fans out there to learn about Travis.

Special thanks to @zoey-and-dakota for always encouraging me to strive with writings.  The thoughts were always there, just couldn’t get my mind to make my fingers type.  Story under cut due to length.

The sun was starting to set in Zion Canyon bringing with it a much needed coolness.  Bright red and orange light streaked the sky while fighting a losing battle against the evening blues and purples taking their place.  Off in the distance a thunderhead was forming with its anvil shaped mass reaching high up into the atmosphere.  Brief flashes of lightning could be seen within as the clouds making up the approaching storm continued to grow and swell.

Riley was leaning peacefully against the wooden door frame to the cabin that he and Travis were staying at.  He watched the skies carefully and figured the storm would be getting to their location very soon.  A sudden blast of cold air hit him from the downdrafts and he could feel the faint hint of rain on his face.  This certainly was not going to be one of the gentle showers that he’s previously experienced here in the Canyon.

It’s been almost a week since Travis brought him here saying they both were due for a change of scenery.  He didn’t say where they were going as he wanted it to be a surprise.  Having a car in their lives meant taking trips and exploring the wasteland would be much easier and pleasurable.  They could now travel farther and stay at their destination for a longer period of time as a result.  Although Travis missed cruising on his motorcycle, it wasn’t practical for the couple for extended trips like this.  Once plans were set and the car was packed with supplies, the two men headed off on their newest adventure.

The drive through the desert offered scenery was flat and barren for the most part, exactly what Riley would expect.  However, the closer they came to Zion the more things changed with towering rock formations and deep ravines.  Riley still doesn’t know how he managed to maneuver the car down the twisting dirt roads leading far into the canyon, but he did so semi-flawlessly leaving only a few smashed cactus in his wake.  At a certain point, Travis guided him through an area which was once a pre-war camping ground and to a lone cabin perched on a cliff.  

After parking, Riley got out of the car and had his breath taken away by the splendor and beauty surrounding them.  Travis smirked to himself as he gathered up their packs and headed to his cabin.  Even if he wanted to, Riley couldn’t move from his spot.  He was too taken in by the tall canyon walls glowing bright orange in the brilliant sunlight.  Scattered trees dotted the landscape and he could faintly hear the roar of a stream down below.  He was brought out of the enchantment feeling Travis’ hand on his shoulder.  Giving the redhead a kiss on the neck, Travis told him to come rest and cool off inside the cabin.  There would be plenty of time for exploring and sightseeing later.

Riley reluctantly stepped away and followed his partner inside the log cabin.  While unpacking, Travis told him the lands here were virtually untouched by the bombs and radiation, a complete hidden paradise for centuries.  He happened to discover it on one of his motorcycle trips and made sure to put the location data in his pipboy for future use.  Since then he’s made good friends with the Tribals that populated the canyon.  On return visits he would bring them goods from New Vegas such as tools and knives to help make their lives a bit easier.  In turn they offered him lodging here whenever he desires.  

In the days that followed Travis showed Riley around the canyon and introduced him to his Tribal friends.  The couple also spent long hours fishing or swimming in the clear non-radiated waters of the canyon.  There was always so much to see and do, but almost like clockwork a gentle rain would happen in the afternoon causing their exploring or fun to halt for a few hours.  However, today’s shower was obviously not going to be little or gentle.  Giving one last look at the approaching storm, Riley stepped back inside the cabin.  

Travis was sitting at the kitchen table cleaning his rifle, Medicine Stick, and looked up when he heard Riley shut the door.  “Gonna get rain, huh?  I can smell it.  Well, at least I think I smell it.  This gun oil frigging reeks,” he grimaced while pushing the bottle of cleaner off to the side.  “Why can’t things that clean actually smell good?  I mean how could something that stinks so bad do good?  Ugh!”

“I suppose the thinking is the more powerful the smell, the more powerful the cleaning it provides.  Anyway, the rains might be more a thunderstorm by the looks of it.  Lots of lightning in this one.  In fact I’ll say it’s going to be one hell of a storm,” Riley replied as he eagerly made his way to a window.  It’s been a long time since he saw a storm that wouldn’t include radiation like back in Boston.  “Are these frequent in these parts?  Like, is there what’s considered a storm season here where you can expect them every day at a certain time just like the showers?”

Riley turned hearing the loud scraping of chair legs on the wood floor as Travis pushed himself abruptly away from the table.  The courier looked slightly flustered as he kept his gaze focused on the rifle before he frantically looked around the cabin, crystal blue eyes wide.  “Travis?  You alright?  Are the fumes getting to you?” Riley asked.

“Y-yeah...uh….”  Travis loped to the door and pulled down a hinged wood board to barricade it shut.  “Can’t have this thing blowing open if it’s going to storm like you said.”  He ran a hand through his black hair and shot Riley an uneasy grin.  “You thirsty?  Want a beer?”

Giving a quick nod Riley got quickly sidetracked as the angry rumble of thunder could be heard echoing through the canyon.  A heavy gust of wind slammed into their cabin making it shudder in its wake.  “Hoo boy!” Riley breathed excitedly directing his attention back to the window.  “I hope this won’t bring floods or anything.  I know we’re up high enough, but those people at riverside will be…” he paused seeing Travis was now pulling the curtains shut and tucking their sides into the window frame.

For a fleeting moment he wondered if Travis was afraid, but he quickly pushed it aside as they’ve dealt with a few small storms before.  However, maybe that was the key.  Previous storms were little rain dumpers with scant bolts of lightning and gentle booms of distant thunder.  This powerful storm was going to have them right in the middle of the mayhem.  The skies now grew dark almost as if it were night and the winds continued to slam against the cabin and make the door rattle.

Meanwhile, Travis continued to cover the windows, but was halted when he got to the one Riley was staring out of.  “Umm...precaution.  In case the window busts we won’t be getting glass or rain in here.”

Riley obliged and moved out of the way and that’s when he noticed the slight tremble in Travis�� hands while he pulled the curtains shut.  He watched his partner closely and noticed the subtle indications that Travis was stressing about the approaching storm, but doing his best to hide it.  Not wanting to bring attention to it, especially if the assumption was a mistake, Riley carefully chose his conversation to see Travis’ reaction.  “I’m glad we’re in this cabin.  I’m sure getting caught out in a storm like this would suck being in a tent.  Has that ever happened to you?”

“N-no.  No, if I am out and about and see a storm coming I try and get somewheres better than a crummy tent,” Travis replied while putting the finishing touches on his window covering task.  Shooting Riley a nervous glance, he twitched his moustache and tried to muster up a smile.  “Oh, I forgot to get you that beer.”  Striding back to the fridge, Travis snagged two bottles out of it and proceeded to make his way back to Riley.  “Sorry about that.”

“It’s ok,” Riley smiled as he took the bottle and twisted off the cap.  He was about to put it to his lips for a drink when a bright white light filtered through the spaces between the cabin’s slats.  Almost immediately following, a deep, resounding boom of thunder filled the air making the very foundation of the cabin shudder.  The event sent a jolt of excitement through the redhead, but seeing the momentary change of Travis’ expression from strained relaxed to fearful verified Riley’s assumption.  Travis was afraid of the storm.

Frowning and doing his best to hide his alarm, Travis made his way back to the table and began putting away the gun cleaning supplies.  He knew Riley must have noticed the shift in his behavior and attitude and that only served to upset him more.  Travis had no secrets to hide from his lover, but his irrational fear over thunderstorms was embarrassing in his eyes.  Riley knew plenty of other things that caused Travis to be afraid such as cazadores and being restrained in any way.  However, fear of thunderstorms almost seemed a bit childish and not something Travis would readily admit to anyone, not even Riley.

While Travis did his best to calmly place the cap back on the bottle of cleaning solution, another flash of light filtered through the cracks making him flinch and bite his lower lip in anticipation for the thunder.  His unwanted wish was granted as the boom made the cabin shudder once again.  The thunder also served as an announcement to the rain which began to pound against the windows sounding as if someone were tossing pebbles against them.

Seeing Travis obviously stressing over the forces of mother nature outside, Riley pondered what he could do to help his partner relax.  He knew the worst thing he could do is question Travis about this as it would bring unwanted attention to the fears and no doubt upset Travis all the more.  Getting an idea, Riley made his way towards their bed and grabbed a blanket.  “You know, nothing beats snuggling under a blanket during a storm.  Would you like to join me?” he asked while taking a seat on the couch and placing the blanket on his lap.

Furrowing his brow at the suggestion, Travis turned towards Riley.  He hesitated for a moment as he wanted to get his supplies properly put away, but seeing the arched eyebrows and sincere look on Riley’s face, Travis couldn’t exactly resist.  Setting the gun cleaning kit back on the table, Travis snatched up his beer and joined Riley on the couch.  “Is clothing optional?” he nervously jested while taking a seat next to him.

“Well...if it makes you feel more comfortable, by all means,” Riley responded with a chuckle while draping the blanket over them and tucking it around their shoulders.  However, Travis didn’t strip and instead snuggled against Riley’s side.  Adjusting his position, Riley put his arm around Travis’ shoulders and held him close.  Leaning in, he pressed his lips against Travis’ cheek right as another boom of thunder sounded.  He felt Travis tense and slightly shudder cementing his assumption about Travis being scared.

From past experience, Riley knew the best way to get Travis focused on something when he was unhappy or uncomfortable was to talk to him about historical pre-war topics.  At first he thought he’d discuss weather conditions back in the days such as blizzards or hurricanes, but then realized mentioning extreme weather during a storm might not be the wisest of choices.  As thunder once again rocked the wood cabin, Riley suddenly got an idea for an interesting topic.

“Back in ancient times some cultures believed that the weather was controlled by their gods.  Some of the more well known ones were Thor of Norse lore and Zeus from Greece.  They were the gods of thunder as well as a few other responsibilities.  Thor was a protector of mankind and wielded his powers for good.  Zeus, on the other hand, would sometimes hurtle lightning bolts at the…” Riley stopped.  He wasn’t sure if telling Travis about gods who enjoyed tossing lightning to the earth down below or even zapping people for the hell of it would be appropriate at this time.  He knew Travis wasn’t one to believe in such beings anyway, but it still was a bad idea.

Travis squirmed at Riley’s pause.  “Earth?” he asked while closing his eyes to the recent flash of lightning that shone through the cracks.

“Well...for the most part, yes,” Riley reluctantly continued, but felt if Travis was asking questions he deserved them answered.  “They’d also get sent down on people that disobeyed or displeased him.”

“What a dick,” Travis snickered.  “Why did people always have these so called supreme beings that are always bent on snuffing ‘em out for whatever reason?”

“Not all of them were dicks,” Riley stated while gliding his hand lightly over Travis’ arm.  “I’m sure the biggest reason they were created that way was to simply keep people in check.  If people had some gigantic being looming over their life with the power to punish or destroy them if they misbehaved I’m quite sure they’d do their best to behave.  Pretty much to keep an honest man honest so to speak.”

“Yeah...I reckon that makes sense.  Still kinda stupid, though.”  Adjusting his position, Travis poked his arm out from under the blanket so he could take a sip from his beer.  Out of the corner of his eye he saw Riley’s expression change and Travis couldn’t help but smirk.  “Didn’t you see me with it?  Had it since you invited me over.  You want a sip?”

“No.  No, that’s ok you…” Riley stopped speaking as thunder roared and made windows and any glass items in the cabin rattle loudly.  Not wanting to be outdone, the rain intensified and made it seem as if they were camping under a waterfall instead of up on a cliff.  When the rumble of thunder finally ended, Riley rested his head against Travis’ and continued to lightly glide his fingertips over the black hairs on Travis’ arm.  “Well, if murderous and mighty humanoid deities aren’t your thing, maybe divine creatures would pique your interest instead?”

Finishing the last of his beer, Travis dropped it off the side of the couch to the floor with a hollow thunk.  “Animals you mean?” he asked while settling back comfortably under the blanket and against his partner.

“Yes, animals.  In Asian cultures like China, great dragons were the masters of the skies and a vast majority of them ruled the weather.  In Egypt most of their gods had human bodies, but their heads were that of animals.  Set, or Seth, was the god of chaos and also in charge of storms.  It’s unclear what his animal was supposed to be, some say a jackal others say some sort of aardvark.  But if you want to talk about gods being dicks, he was a big one.”

Travis giggled nervously and moved his hand down to squeeze Riley’s knee.  “Bet he ain’t got nothing on you in the package department.”

Riley rolled his eyes and shook his head.  “I said he is one, not has one,” he replied, giving Travis a poke in the ribs making him giggle all the more.  “Anyway…” Riley continued while adjusting his glasses, a smile still on his face from Travis’ playful remark.  “A great majority of the Natives from North and South America believed a giant bird caused the thunder and lightning by simply flapping its wings.”

“Does that mean the rains came from it taking a…”

“Don’t even go there!” Riley laughed then laughed harder as Travis returned the tickling he got.  Almost as if disapproving of their behavior, a loud crackle of lightning tore apart the atmosphere followed immediately by a boom of thunder.  Much to Riley’s surprise, the sights and sounds hardly phased Travis as he was too busy squirming under the blanket trying avoid Riley’s hands.  

Once the tickle fight and squirming stopped, Riley took a deep breath and slowly exhaled to try and calm himself.  “Now then, if I may continue.”  He looked at Travis over the rims of his glasses and smirked seeing his lover’s eager and attentive expression.  “I think besides most of the dragons, the Thunderbirds weren’t out to torment humans.  They mostly were protectors and kept giant snakes from killing everyone and taking over the earth.  Interestingly enough, throughout all the different tribes on the north and south continents, they all shared the belief of a Thunderbird.”

“I reckon I like the bird the best,” Travis chimed while changing his position so he was laying over Riley’s lap.

“How come?”  Riley asked as he gathered Travis in his arms to help support him and keep him comfortable.

“Well, think about it.  Almost everyone else was out to kill and punish mankind, torment them, or whatever.  Then you get the birds.  They seemed like they were more wanting to help people than destroy them.”

“Don’t forget that Thor was a protector of the people as were a lot of the dragons.” “See, that’s just it.  Thor’s still a guy.  Don’t care if he’s a god or not, he’s still humaniod and probably prone to fucking up or getting pissed off.  Dragons too.  I dunno...the birds just seem cool and helpful is all.  Plus I think by two entire continents with different people all sharing similar beliefs and stuff about the birds shows they were pretty chill critters.  Had the birds been assholes I think they’d have found something else to try and conjure up.  People usually try not copy bad shit.  Does that make sense?”

Riley grew silent for a moment and chewed on his lower lip while pondering what all Travis said.  “Yes, in some crazy way it all does make sense.  Man, you would have been a great student to have in my class back in the day.  You always have strong interest in so much and ask pretty good questions too.  Your thought process is really unique and imaginative to say the least.”

Travis grinned, but then sobered quickly while averting his gaze from Riley.  “You do know I don’t...ummm...I’m sure you might have noticed, but I ain’t exactly fond of storms.  Kinda scared about them, really.  We ain’t never really experienced storms together outside of the casino or anything so I was able to hide my fear pretty good.  Out here all the sights and sounds are like in your face and stuff.”  He trailed off for a moment, his mind working a million miles an hour on how he wanted to word things.  “Your little lecture about the ancient stuff really helped me a lot.  Kept me distracted and kept me interested.  Maybe later on I’d love to hear more details if you got them, especially about the birds or other Native lore.”

Smiling gently, Riley nodded and lightly touched the side of Travis’ face with his fingertips.  “I’d be very happy to tell you about anything you’d like to know on the topic to the best of my knowledge.”  Bowing his head down, Riley placed a tender kiss on Travis’ brow while wrapping his arms around him.  “I’m also glad I was able to help you through your fears of the storm.  It’s nothing to be ashamed of either.  I figured something was very wrong with your change in behavior, but I wasn’t going to pry and make you more upset.”

“Thanks, Riles, I really appreciate it.  Ain’t saying next storm comes along I won’t be bothered, but it’s good to know that I got you to help me through it.”

“Anytime, Travis.  I’m more than happy to help you ride out the storms in any way you need.”

Narrowing his crystal blue eyes and allowing a lascivious grin to pull back his lips, Travis purred, “Hmmm...I know something much better I’d like to ride during a storm.”

“Oh, Travis,” Riley chuckled with a roll of his eyes.

~fin

[simpleascanbe-blog1]

Tagged by: @anearthstruckalien (they said in the tagged section of their post that anyone can do this, so yeah! they also gave me the idea to do this, too!)

Tagging: Anyone who wants to do as much!

Bold is very applicable, while italic still is just not as much.

APHRODITE. laughter-loving, sweet smiles, dressed in silk and satin, flower in their hair, sees the world as a runway, unapologetically sexual, the sea washing their ankles, in love with love, stirrer of passion, cunning concealed by painted lips, secret daggers, doves, revolution in their kiss, delighting in the waves, flirtatious winks, strolling along the beach, staring wistfully from a balcony, this is how to be a heartbreaker, wants to be adored, gets turned on by danger.

APOLLO. glitz and glamour, art galleries, turning the volume up, being made of gold, neatly-organized music sheets, notebooks filled with poetry, bathing in the sunlight, the powerful urge to create, collecting vinyl records, beautiful cover of Wonderwall, playing multiple instruments (he knows how to play a ocarina and electric guitar, but certainly isn’t a master, just decent), tasting like sunshine, healing touch (quite literally), speaking in prophecies, smile mingled with wrath, shunning lies, sporting shades, hanging out at music festivals with their friends, sleeps naked, arrow to the heart, paint brushes, probably has a Tinder account.

ARES. armed for battle, wants to raise a dog with their significant other, soft spot for children, gives piggyback rides, scarred body, blood on their hands and face, willing to fight the world for the ones they love, fights against injustice, warm hugs, well-worn combat boots, boxing gloves, bandages wrapped around bruised knuckles, fist raised in protest, ignites revolutions, fear is a prison, more sensitive than what their tough shell would have you think, exhausted, damaged goods, force to be reckoned with, red roses, curses under their breath.

ARTEMIS. keen sense of a hunter, freckles like constellations on their skin, piercing eyes, disheveled braid, moonlight peeking through the shadows, the calm of the forest at night, lying on the grass and staring at the stars, mother doe and her fawn, protecting their kin, the moon shimmering on a still lake, quiver full of arrows resting against the bark of a tree, running with wolves, bonding while circled around a campfire, not being much of a people person, arrow hitting a target, popping egos, patience on 3%, touches heaven and returns howling.

ATHENA. discerning gaze, unreadable face, quiet museums, owl perched on their finger, armor that intimidates, eye for architecture, plays the sims for the sole purpose of building houses, studied the blade while everyone else was busy, big fan of logic, loves brain teasers, ancient buildings, sweaters in neutrals and cool colors, hair done up, can kill you with their brain (kinda? though a bit indirect), heads to the library often to research, sharpened pencils, abs that can cut steel, stoic statues, pottery classes.

DEMETER. soil-covered hands, smile that can bloom flowers, skin loved by the sun, being the mom/dad-friend, can lift you and your friends, flowers kept in the pockets of overalls, takes pride in their beautiful garden, speaks to their plants, leaves rustling in the wind, stalks of wheat, picking fruit, greenhouses, heart as strong as a mountain, values simplicity, daisies dotted across a collarbone, curls crowned with flowers, folded pile of sweaters in warm hues, pulling out fresh-baked bread out of the oven and the smell wafting through the air.

DIONYSUS. drunk shitposter, on their sixth glass of wine before you’ve even finished your second, seductive smirks, untamed curls, rich fabrics on dark skin, sleek-furred panthers, theater masks, stage productions, receiving a standing ovation, rose caught between their teeth, being the baby of the bunch, wild parties that last from sundown to sunup, creeping vines, inspiring loyalty, grand opera houses, masquerade balls, rolls of film, shattered chandeliers with broken glass scattered across the wine-spilled floor, pouring champagne into flutes, lives for the applause.

HEPHAESTUS. the calloused hands of someone who knows labor, sweaty brow, flame burning in their eyes, inventive mind, broad shoulders, steampunk goggles, nuts and bolts stored away in little boxes, ashes, striking a match, blueprints for future projects, fixing up a busted up car and giving it cool upgrades, wrestles with bitterness, work boots have seen better years, wrinkled plaid shirts, iron melted in blazing fire, huge jackets, crafting masterpieces, greased-stained overalls, fascination with robotics, pain is fuel, stack of weaponry, even their muscles have muscles.

HERA. resting bitch face, dressed to the nines, cows grazing on a pasture, cool rain, loving and hating fiercely, hand clutching a string of pearls, large chandelier with glittering crystals, plays the sims for the sole purpose of killing off their sims, romance to realism, pictures of the sky while flying on a plane, downs glasses of wine as they relax with a scented bubble bath and netflix, like their selfie or you’re grounded, knows 57 convenient ways to murder a man, dark eyes that penetrate your soul, marble and gold.

HERMES. devil-may-care smile, always up-to-date on the latest technology, will steal your french fries, does it for the vine, shitposter, puts googly eyes on everything, meme hoarder, long drives on the highway, ma and pop diners, spontaneous road trips, folded maps, fingers dancing across the keyboard of a laptop, shooting hoops on the basketball court, chatting up strangers as you all journey to your own destinations, goes jogging in the morning, mixes redbull with coffee, menace on april fool’s, hoodies and sneakers.

POSEIDON. storm with skin, colorful coral reefs, waves crashing against the shore, stroking the soft fur of a cat, their heart pounding as their horse’s gentle trot speeds into a gallop, tousled locks, clothes smeared with paint, owns several sketchbooks yet always yearns to own more, leather jackets, fondness for diy projects, handwriting that flows across the page, nimble fingers playing the strings of a violin, velvety singing voice that haunts your dreams, mood as ever-changing as the sea, the roar of a motorcycle, compass with a spinning arrow.

ZEUS. thunder in their heart, running on coffee, flash of lightning, natural charisma, eloquence, badass in a nice suit, aficionado of history, force of nature, lenny face, nightmare-filled nights, proud arm around their lover’s waist, high-rise buildings, planes soaring through a cloudless sky, technician on the piano, maintains order, strong handshake, juggling multiple events on their busy schedule with ease, expensive watch.

[angelic-guardienne]

Mercy - I

Thus commences my fall into Ardyn hell... though not in the expected way, I suppose. Ardyn is a huge angst ball, no wonder I was drawn to him. It’s an endless fountain of angst to draw from. It’s perfect. 

Also, before I forget, “Mercy” is just a working title right now... I may change it later on, so be on the lookout for that. I don’t think there’s anything else I can say that’s not already at least touched upon in the story, so let’s mosey!

Tagging: @emilys-arty-farty-stuff (i wrote the soulmate au from my tags) @zer0pm @valkyrieofardyn @amicitonia @alicemoonwonderland @roses-and-oceans @for-lack-of-a-better-world @nemo-ne-impune-lacessit @kerrtrash @onpanwa @crazykruemel @ponkita @diabolik-trash-heap (come get ur sad man)

Time passes differently for the daemons, he writes, lips pressed together in concentration as he tries to keep the quiver out of his hands, and time passes differently for me. Three years are inconsequential at this point. And three years, to an immortal being…

Ardyn hesitates, his pen resting against the paper. Ink spreads, and he lifts it. He ponders.

For them, three years is a long time. So much changes in three years, yet it all remains the same to me. Until I return… Three years is nothing to me, but three years is so much to them.

He can’t bring himself to write any more, so he closes the journal with a soft thud, laying it on the desk in front of him. His eyes find his left arm, and he cringes.

Names.

Different names, different signatures, different times. He trails his fingers over the raised skin of the sprawling letters, his vision going blurry from treasured memories. He remembers them clearly -- as if he could ever forget them.

One set of sparkling eyes. A charming smile with a crooked tooth. One hundred and fifteen long eyelashes. Thin, graceful fingers. Two left feet. A silver tongue. Flowing, shining, silky waist-length hair.

His soulmates.

Each and every one of them he remembers. Each and every one of them is dead, all of their names bleached white against his skin, their signatures standing out like scars.

Ardyn remains.

Ardyn blinks, shaking his head. He tells himself that he doesn’t have time to consider these things, to think about all of his late lovers, to be angry at the Astrals for putting him through this--

He tells himself that over and over again, convinced that if he says it enough, he’ll start to believe it. (It hasn’t yet worked, but he still tries.)

He rolls his sleeve up, puts on his hat and coat, and stands from the desk, exiting his current home and entering the biting, freezing wind and rain. The other people in the small village -- no, town -- the others are all inside, not another soul to be seen. It’s reasonable, Ardyn thinks as he walks. Not only is it storming, of course, but it’s the wee hours of the night. Mortals require sleep. The daemons do not. He does not.

His destination isn’t very far away; the town is small, enough so that most people just walk wherever they need to go, biking the longer distances and using cars almost exclusively for travel outside of the town limits. Even then, only the wealthier residents have cars, so seeing one on the road is rare.

Ardyn stops, tilting his head back. The rain streaming down his visage doesn’t bother him while he checks to make sure he’s in the right place, even if he knows the path by heart now. The graveyard. He enters.

He stops at the fourth grave from the center in the sixth row on the left side, kneeling. Even through the downpour, he can still read the name on the tombstone clearly, and it still brings him pain when he reaches out and runs his fingers over the engraving. He smiles, but it’s hollow, broken. “You are the seventh, dearest. And I missed you by three years. I’m sorry I couldn’t be with you in your final moments.” He traces the date of death, his smile falling from his face. “I’ll always love you, as I do the others before you, and as I will those after you.”

And he thinks it’s a bit ironic, that one such as him -- someone so full of daemons, of inky corruption, of ravenous bitterness -- someone like him could possibly feel love… feel anything, really. Yet he’s here all the same, on his knees in the mud, soaked to the bone but unable to feel the chill over the pain in his heart.

Ardyn removes his hat and places it on the tombstone, unbothered by the rain now flowing through his hair and into his eyes. “You were a playful little thing, love. Always stealing my hat…” His voice falters, his body curls in on itself, and the rain hides his tears.

It’s only when the rain retreats into the heavier side of a drizzle does he stand, taking his dripping hat and placing it back atop his head. He trudges out of the graveyard and back down the street, watching listlessly as lights come on in homes and he hears the beginnings of the town awakening and starting its day.

He walks into his own home and closes the door behind him, uncaring of the mud he’s trailing in as he makes his way to the bathroom. He undresses and clambers into the shower. Even though he knows it won’t work from countless prior attempts, he stands under the hot stream with his eyes closed and his hands relaxed by his side, trying to let the water wash everything away.

The mud goes, of course, but the feelings stay, just like they always do. He’s not surprised.

Ardyn cleans himself off, then proceeds to clean the tracks of mud from earlier. He lingers in the sitting room, staring out the window at nothing in particular. Some of the citizens who think of him as a local (despite his rather infrequent visits) bring him supportive words and bouquets of wildflowers and baskets of fruits and vegetables. He welcomes them politely, if only to get them to leave sooner. He moves through the pleasantries automatically, exchanging words and nodding at all the reassurances. The day passes like this: every few hours, there’s knocking at his door and more hollow conversation, and in between, he stares out the window.

That night, he returns to the graveyard, laying a bouquet of flowers on his late soulmate’s grave. “They really loved you -- they still do, I mean,” he says, running his hand over the tombstone again. “I do, as well.” He apologizes one last time before taking his leave.

Ardyn leaves the town with the rising sun.

Fifteen years later, his arm burns with the branding of another deep black soulmark. He traces his fingers over it tenderly, trying to brace himself for the pain he knows will come with this one, too, and then continues on his way.