#but also that snark is literally All of his personality in the typical bad writing version of ‘blank slate character is relateable

[bonebrokebuddy]

It’s time for a, “things I sent to my twin’s inbox but she said I should post myself because I never post my own work and she’d like if I stopped spamming her inbox with ideas but I forgot about it and just kept it in my drafts notes for months and now finally I’m posting the fucking things.”

Or for short:

DP X DC PROMPT #7:

————————————

Danny visits metropolis and people are deadset on believing that Danny is either Clark’s little brother or his nephew from Illinois… despite that Clark can literally not be related to him. Not that the people at the Daily Planet know that, but even the ones who do know are giving him a hard time.

“I’m adopted Jimmy!” Clark threw his hands in the air in frustration. “You are very aware of that.”

“But he looks just like you Clark, you even talk the same!” Jimmy peaked around the corner, catching a glimpse of Danny talking to Lois in the employees lounge.

“He has a upper midwestern accent. I’m from Kansas, Jim. Not all midwesterners know each other!”

“So?”

“Jimmy. You know damn well why we can not be related.” Clark subtly gestured to his cheap “I believe in aliens” mug. Jimmy was Clark’s best friend and most of the time he really appreciated the kid’s keen eye but Jimmy also seemed to be constantly dead-set on figuring how to give Clark a headache.

“But he looks like a mini you! Have you asked him if he has a spare spaceship lying around anywhere?” Jimmy snarked as he glanced over to Danny and Louis who were finally heading back from their break.

“Jimmy, I will put you on the moon and leave you there.”

“Alright sheesh. I get it, I’ll drop it.”

[descendant-of-truth]

Would you say he is or call dark pit “edgy”? So many people are under the impression he is just an evil and/or edgy version of Pit similar to shadow the hedgehog, but it always seems to me he was more like a parody and subversion of the dark counter parts commonly seen in media.

I would say that Dark Pit is a little edgy, primarily in the earlier chapters, but hardly in a bad or evil way. He has a very “cool” attitude about him, being prone to deadpan snark and usually showing up to fight people. But to describe his entire character as “edgy Pit” is pretty misleading, I agree.

See, the thing about using “edginess” as a character trait is that it can easily be taken to an extreme. A character solely based on it tends to become impossible to write in a way that isn’t either a joke or overly serious all the time. Dark Pit isn’t either of those things, because any edge he has is really just surface-level stuff.

And I’m glad you mentioned Shadow, because he’s actually a perfect example of the point I’m trying to make. So I’m gonna take a quick detour and talk about him for a bit, because this?

This is edginess in all its glory. In Sonic Boom, Shadow has maybe three personality traits: he doesn’t like people, he does like fighting Sonic, and is comically easy to offend. As an extension to “not liking people,” he refuses to ally himself with any of the other groups of heroes and villains.

Sounds pretty similar to Dark Pit when he’s first introduced, right? He fights Pit seemingly just because, is regularly annoyed by most of the cast and makes it a point that he only works for himself. They even both have the dark hair and red eyes!

Except that unlike Shadow, Dark Pit has definable reasons for behaving this way, and they’re not the only traits he has.

For one thing, he has a sense of humor - something absent from a certain brand of edgelords. But he also develops into someone who can be pretty heroic, going out of his way to save Pit and Palutena on at least three separate occasions. (I would argue that he always had a heroic streak but it’s hard to say given how little screen time he got)

And it’s not hard to figure out why he’s so bitter about everything, because he literally just. Tells us??

He feels like he would be (or, depending on your headcanon, had been) treated like a puppet by Palutena, the person who matters most in Pit’s life, and is frustrated by the gods ruining the world with their wars. Which I’d say are pretty sensible things to be bothered by, yeah?

It’s also worth noting that “the gods” make up like 90% of this game’s cast, and we never get to see him interact with anyone outside of them and Pit. So the fact that he buckles down and saves Pit and Palutena’s lives speaks volumes about his moral compass and how much he actually cares for them.

Hmm I wonder who else was created to be a dark counterpart to the main character, started as an antagonist but became an undeniably heroic person who loves his friends despite his aloof exterior--oH WAIT

You thought I was done talking about Shadow, didn’t you

It would be an absolute disservice to talk about Shadow as if his Boom counterpart is the sum of his character, because the original Shadow was much more like how Dark Pit is now.

He might behave in a typically “darker and edgier” way compared to Sonic, but the core of his character is someone who overcomes various deep-seated personal troubles (amnesia, wanting revenge, etc) to become a kinder, more heroic individual by the end of it.

Once again, the edge is a surface-level thing. The impression I get from Dark Pit is that he talks like an edgy rival character because he just likes to. It’s fun for him, similar to how Shadow is a bit of a show-off. There’s an external and internal side to writing characters, and if Dark Pit was more like Shadow from Sonic Boom, then all the internal substance would be practically nonexistent.

TLDR: Dark Pit is a little edgy, yes, but in a Shadow the Hedgehog pre-2010 way where he has actual character depth and his edginess doesn’t stop him from being heroic.

[bobbimorses]

I saw you mentioning that Clint's personality/portrayal in more recent works has been done poorly. What sort of things do you want to see acknowledged/come back in the modern Hawkeye portrayal?

ok, i’m gonna refrain from embedding panels since this will be so long. skip to the bold for what i’d like acknowledged again because i first try to analyze what recent misinterpretations stem from before getting to your point. whoops!

currently, people seem to overwhelmingly portray clint in only these terms: coffee, catchphrases, and clueless. now that’s not to say that the man doesn’t drink coffee, or that he’s an omniscient super-genius, but that people have taken traits from one portrayal they recognize and run so far with it that it seems like that’s all he is.

i think this is because a lot of people have either misinterpreted the circumstances at play in fraction’s hawkeye, or only know of clint from fanon or decontextualized panels from that run and subsequent appearances

here’s what was happening in fraction’s hawkeye: clint was in a state of depression. fraction’s run took a lot of inspiration from hawkeye’s first solo series (v1), by gruenwald, where clint’s also shown in a rut. in both runs, his depression partially stemmed from his lack of belief/confidence in himself. in v1, it’s a betrayal that makes him doubt he’s worthy of being loved. in fraction’s hawkeye (v4), it’s the amalgamation of all the beatings he’s recently taken in the avengers that makes him doubt he’s worthy of being an avenger.

v4 immediately follows from clint being burned to an absolute crisp (then healed...but not instantly) in a big event, avengers vs. x-men, while facing the phoenix-possessed x-men, aka god-like powered beings. issue 1 of v4 opens with clint being completely wrecked in a fall while avengering. he’d also been killed and thrown around a lot of other major marvel events in a short time prior to all this. basically, he’s been painfully reminded of just how human he is among a bunch of gods and super soldiers. he can handle the pain, but he can’t handle that all the breaks and burns are reminders of his fragility, his humanness; how was he unable to stop them from happening? he starts to question his place in the avengers.

so what you see in fraction’s hawkeye? the moping, the mess of an apartment, the subsistence on pizza, coffee, beer and cereal, long periods of just being on the couch and wanting to nap, the occasional apathy and bewilderment at things happening around him? that’s depression. clint’s not on his A-game, he’s at a low point. unfortunately, a side-effect of v4′s popularity (it’s a well-made comic!) is a lot of people only know this side of clint; they don’t have the image of clint on a good day to “compare” against, and think “this is it.” but that’s not it; i think v4 is meant to show that even the most heroic can slip into apathy when sinking into depression. v4 is about clint finally accepting help from his friends, his neighbors, overcoming his indifference, and believing that not only is he the one that has to stop the villains, but that he can and will. because he’s hawkeye.

now onto what’s lacking in portrayals that misinterpret/represent clint:

jumping off from that doubt in his capabilities, clint has previously been shown to suffer from insecurities. his outwardly overconfident attitude was, in his beginnings, a mask for his low self-esteem and total self-reliance. of course he knew he was the earth’s greatest marksman, but was this enough to take on all these world-ending threats? eventually, after proving himself time and time again, he shed a lot of these insecurities. his confidence was more than earned. his cockiness also threw enemies for a loop: “look at this dude with a bow saying he’s gonna annihilate us. as if he-OH NO.”

now, he’s being portrayed in an inversion of that same strategy: he’s written as getting enemies to underestimate him by acting dumb, bumbling, a klutz. the problem with writing this as clint’s consistent strategy instead of an occasional usage is uninformed readers, or decontextualization, will have people thinking he’s actually like that. that’s why i miss clint being brash and overly-boastful to throw enemies off. he’s already “just a guy with a bow,” why does he need an extra layer of feigned incompetence if everyone already sees him as that guy?

he does have that lingering thought of “am i really good enough to be an avenger?” but he responds to it by trying to be even better, and that drive is what makes him excel, one of the best, worthy of the rank. that drive should always be present. it also makes him kind of competitive (though that’s also just for fun)

snark & attitude: clint’s also always been snarky. i wouldn’t say he’s at the level of spider-man in terms of constant quipping, but when clint and pete have fought together, they’ve given each other a run for their money. clint’s humor also has a sort of lovable jerk quality to it at times, because he’s very light-hearted about it. he’s got a certain levity about him, because you have to when you’re aiming an arrow at a dude made of steel. i’ve seen this quality slowly return to the comics, i think. on that same note, his belligerence with authority, though obviously now more mellowed, can come in little doses like questioning aspects of a plan/order. clint is a confrontation magnet and can be a real loudmouth, even if he’s fiercely loyal to his team.

street smarts! clint has always been clever and had out-of-the-box thinking because he had to scrap by in an orphanage, then a travelling circus (and have you ever played a carnival game?). he’s used his smarts to gather intel, infiltrate (break into) places, trick people, and defeat many a villain. and he’s not above cheating to do it. he literally defeated an elder of the universe, saving the entire defeated roster of the avengers and the universe, by pulling an old carny trick.

trickshots: the first elder of the universe he defeated was with a combination of his cleverness and a trickshot. i want more trickshots again! ricocheting shots, shots where he’s had to determine all the involved angles almost instantaneously in his head, just ridiculously pulled off shots from a distance or at difficult targets all really demonstrate clint’s skill. he didn’t and doesn’t do all that training to not be the best archer. speaking of...

training: clint regularly trains to maintain and hone his skills daily. this isn’t really an issue with current comics writing per se but some people seem to think he just sits around all day (and not just for a vacation). literally his whole shtick is training a skill so much that he’s on par with superhumans. c’mon, guys. relatedly, he’s also skilled in combat because he trained with cap (ronin skills!)

acrobatics: clint spent his adolescence in a circus and was always trying to get in the show, so you know he brushed up on acrobatics. clint and cap even did some gymnastics training in the early days. i want more flips that clint didn’t necessarily have any business doing when he could’ve just leapt around with much less flare, like the typical showman he is (tales of suspense did have this)

accent: this one’s more nitpicky, but i’d maybe like a return of a little bit of a lilt on his dialogue again. i know marvel phased out overly-phoneticized accents, but clint, orphaned carny that he is, always had a casual way of speaking, and i enjoyed how that was reflected in his written dialogue. dropped g’s in gerunds, d’s in and, shortened word combos, etc. it doesn’t have to be over the top, just touches where needed. this is a thing that was kind of present in fraction’s hawkeye, actually.

leadership: though it’s not like marvel denies clint ever led multiple teams (editorial wouldn’t let that happen), lately he’s sometimes written as if he doesn’t have this experience to draw from, and sometimes not. it’s a bit inconsistent. this isn’t to say clint has to be the leader at all times, he works well in a team in any capacity--just don’t shrug off the development and coordinating abilities he gained from his leadership

disaster?: i don’t fault situations where clint's going about the motions and suddenly everything around him is a disaster because when isn’t it with clint’s luck, dude once got cornered by like 10 supervillains in a sewer. and the man can make some bad decisions. but just remember how he’d respond to a disaster: thinking up a plan (or trying to on the fly), using all the resources at his disposal to conquer the problem, maybe insulting 5 people in the process, trying to wink after he gets stabbed

i’m not trying to disparage some people’s interpretations of certain aspects of clint, i’m just advocating against a misunderstanding or persistent misconceptions of clint as a character. he’s a character rich in development because he’s been kicking around continuity for over 50 years now. he went from screaming at cap like a grounded teenager to being offered the shield and rejecting it out of utter respect. he’s complicated in his experiences, his relationships, and many facets of his character, though his motivations can sometimes be simple (help people, show off, prove i can be be that good by being better). to whittle hawkeye down to one note would be a disservice to clint barton’s journey and evolution.

actually, here’s a panel:

[yououghtaknow]

so i filled in this chart (made by @fingersmithbysarahwaters​ <3) on my twitter dot com account (@/genderhead if you want to see me post more Casual stuff). i am now going to explain it in depth because i am autistic and my special interest is my own show. 

NOTE: the way i did this chart was that the "coded" column is who people see you as and the "girl" column is who you are. also i am not an expert in riverdale analysis, i simply know what i’ve heard my very smart friends talking about.

ARCHIE GIRLS

ARCHIE CODED

sandy my best friend sandy….. she is just such an archie in her core. cause archie is the Heart of the town, he’s the Heart of the friend group, and that is very sandy. on the surface, they’re very similar - both being very athletic people, both just really wanting to be liked by everyone, both being kind of lost at the beginning and in a manipulative relationship. but, at the end of the day, archie’s all about being there for the people he loves, and even though he’s spent a lot of time hating himself for his mistakes, he grows and moves on, much like sandy. also they’re both not that good at dancing but will still be in the school musicals to support their friends.

JUGHEAD CODED

jacob love……. he an archie girl at his core because he just wants to protect the people he loves. he is genuinely torn between music and football, and has to deal with knowing people have done bad things and that he can’t do anything about it. he may go about it the wrong way sometimes, but he’s just trying to do what’s best for his friends and himself, which makes him a bit more jughead coded. he’s very much trying to be perceived as a season 1 esque jughead in the fact that he knows he’s different in a deep inherent way and has a hard time articulating it for a while. he also has the trauma of abandonment from both of his parents and runs away to protect himself at one point.

BETTY CODED

ms eleanor early…. i needed to include some not so main characters to fill up the chart, and ellie’s character has always been quite interesting to me, because the roles that sonja and emma play in og skam are very typical of a gay drama, and combining them into one character i think makes her a lot more interesting. ellie is trying to be perceived as a season 1 betty, she has the blonde hair, the perfect upper middle class family, she has a crush on the perfect jock guy, but…. that isn’t really who she is. she’s a fierce protector of what she believes to be the truth and is always ready to stand up for herself and her friends. she thinks she’s a betty coded veronica girl but she is not. also ellie would absolutely name a band after herself.

VERONICA CODED

my best friend james cohen…… james is a very obvious archie girl. he’s very much the heart of his friend group, he literally almost went to jail trying to protect nick. he loves his found family so so dearly and he’s a nice boy who plays a guitar. but when we get into his veronica coding….. veronica is just such an interesting character to me (more on that later) but the way james relates to her. veronica is all about getting validation from her dad and male figures, whereas james is trying to get validation from his mum and female figures in his life. he also openly struggles with alcohol abuse and is very good at giving some one liners. he’s also kind of a mean girl in the first few seasons??? like he’s seen as that way from the pov character. also i believe that, if given the opportunity, james would open a speakeasy/casino underneath a local diner.

JUGHEAD GIRLS

ARCHIE CODED

i am about to interpret characters so wrong. so bryan is what people who don’t view riverdale through the correct lgbt lense think an archie coded jughead girl is like. he’s a jock, he’s been with a lot of girls, he’s kind of stupid (his archie coding) and he’s a bad boy™ who struggles with money problems and is in love with the perfect good girl (who is also a lesbian). he’s just the worst. i hate him.

JUGHEAD CODED

oh <3 would you look at that <3 it’s me <3 isaac yououghtaknowmp3/genderhead <3. i couldn’t think of another random character to included so i just did myself. i am jughead coded in the fact that i am weird i’m a weirdo i don’t “fit in” and i don’t want to fit in. i have always known there is something inherently Other about me and i haven’t tried to hide it ever. i also am a writer and use my writing as a way to process my real life trauma and things going on around me. also the scene where jughead burns down his childhood home and then sings seventeen (reprise) from heathers does affect me on a deep and personal level. i am a bit betty coded in the fact that i Am very much like that. 

BETTY CODED

annabell!!!! i love them so so much, they are so fun to me. they’re very much later seasons betty coded, in that fact that i fully believe they have the serial killer genes. they know what they’re good at and they do it well, and they are trying to be seen as a serpent queen type figure, but…. at the end of the day, they do just use sardonic humour to relate to the world. they are covering up their mental illness with strange little jokes and enjoy making bitchy little comment in such a fun way. also they’re a nonbinary lesbian which i think is a very bettycoded jugheadgirl thing to do.

VERONICA CODED

nick my best friend nick!!!!! nick is very veronica coded in the daddy issues way. we see them have issues connecting to their dad and they try to find that bond with other male companions…… he also deals with some substance abuse problems and is very dramatic and uses a lot of pop culture references to cover up their actual issues. but, deep down in his heart, nick is a jughead because he cares deeply about the people around him, even though he has trouble showing it. also he is in love with james in a very similar way to how jughead is in love with archie. also i feel like all of their younger brothers can and will kin jellybean.

BETTY GIRLS

ARCHIE CODED

esther my bestie!!!!!!!! esther is trying so hard to be seen as an archie like figure. she wants to be the centre of the friend group, she wants to be in charge and know what’s going on at all times. she just really wants to be liked all of the time, but that is what makes her such a betty girl. she’s very perfection orientated, and she’s also very ambitious and clever in a betty way. betty’s whole relationship with donna sweett just has esther vibes. also the wig in a box scene in the hedwig episode where betty is trying to make everyone feel better??? very esther core.

JUGHEAD CODED

alistair. thomas. fletcher. god this boy is very jughead coded. from the first moment we see him, he’s Weird. he’s very season 1 jughead in the fact that he’s a gay little outsider trying to stay a gay little outsider but his curiosity gets him dragged into the main plot. also al tries to see the world through the lens of fiction, much like jughead. but at the end of the day, he is a betty. he is very intellectually smart and we see him struggle a lot with perfectionism over what we’ve seen so far. also he’s good at snarking with his siblings and he has fully psychoanalysed people at musical rehearsal for no reason other than to have fun. He’s also a betty for reasons i can’t get into on this night due to Spoilers but you’ll know it when the time comes.

BETTY CODED

rori!!!!!!!!!! rori is such such such a betty in every way. the pastel colours are very her. betty’s relationship with denying her mental illness is very her in the early season. even the betty/archie relationship is quite reminiscent of rori and james’s relationship (i mean this in a gay way not a barchie way). also the way people interpret betty and her sexuality reminds me a lot of rori, the whole performance of femininity riverdale betty specifically does…. also rori is very much a main character type of person and betty is thee main character of riverdale. also betty spending so much of the musical episodes with veronica is a very rori move.

VERONICA CODED

milo woods!!!!! my fave girlboss!!!! they’re very veronica coded in the fact that they are the cool, cultured, popular new kid in town with fancy style. also they are very “you’re gay? thank god, let’s be friends”. but they are very much a betty girl with their insecurities and their girlboss ways being a lot more subtle. like milo shows up out of nowhere like veronica, but psychoanalyses and romances the local lgbt community by being mean to them in a sincere and fun way. also the whole “i’m the daughter of the black hood” speech has milo energy.

VERONICA GIRLS

ARCHIE CODED

sophie!!!!! sophie is archie coded in the fact that she is just so cool and well liked and sporty and hot. like sophie’s whole introduction is like the “whoa! archie got hot!” scene only sandy has always thought she was hot. but sophie is such a veronica at the end of the day. like she is a hashtag girlboss in the sense that she’s the captain of the football team, she’s smart, she’s put together. but also she has a past where she’s been betrayed and assaulted and abused and she’s just trying to keep it all together at the end of the day. sophie kennedy i love you

JUGHEAD CODED

theo alterman. god he is weird, he is a weirdo. he wears dark clothes, he’s deeply sarcastic, but he’s always there for his friends in his own special way. also i feel like theo would fake his own death. he’s also canonically hyperfixated on dungeons and dragons which is an epic jughead moment. but he is very much a veronica girl in the fact that he is so bitchy and fun to his friends but is always there for them and trying to be a good friend. like he messes up a lot but he earnestly trying his best to empathise with his friends and be cool and good. he just wants to fit in so much but also the world according to chris is a very theo song

BETTY CODED

liz my friend elizabeth!!!! she is very betty coded. i mean, both of their names are elizabeth. they’re both blonde, they both deal with overbearing mothers, shitty fathers and high expectations. they both struggle with mental illness in a very repressed way and also liz is very intellectual. but she is such a veronica. liz is seeking out validation constantly and is willing to change who she is just to get people to like her. she’s also very desperate for friends and will always try her best to keep them. also liz says some absolutely wild lines in a fun veronica way. liz would say i recognise those abs anywhere about james.

VERONICA CODED

finally my best friend in the whole wide world brianna holland. oh bree. my love my light. they are just such a veronica girl. veronica’s relationship with femininity and sexuality is very similar to bree’s, with equating sex to both power and validation. in a way, bree is also seeking out her father in the men she’s had relations with in the past, but we see her grow from that and move on to a girl (like veronica should also do). also bree is just such a girlboss i love them so much. also they both have a secret sibling which gets a very dramatic reveal. it’s so intensely fun. also it’s about the reputation by taylor swift.

thank you for reading, stan riverdale, stan skam brighton, and please know that i wrote this instead of doing my final piece of coursework <3

[justmenoworries]

If Ben’s Aliens Were Their Own Characters (Part 2: Alien Force + Ultimate Alien)

Part 2: The Electric Boogaloo.

Sometime in his teens, Ben decides that it’s unfair to only set some of his aliens free and with the help of Azmuth, re-creates the glitch from part 1 in order to bring out the rest of them too.

The compound the alines have lived in until now needs to get expanded again to make room fro 24 new family members.

With the help of Grandpa Max, some plumbers (and a very reluctant Azmuth) they eventually manage.

Swampfire: Haughty and arrogant. He suffers from a major inferiority-superiority complex due to the fact that he feels being one of the aliens who did not manage to get out of the Omnitrix by themselves makes him weaker somehow. Thus he has an intense, but often one-sided rivalry with all off his “older” siblings, especially Heatblast since their powers are the most alike. Ironically, the two of them make a really great team in battle, if Swampfire manages to keep his ribbing in check for five seconds and Heatblast in turn manages to not rise to the bait for once.

Jetray: A tough, no-nonsense hero. He takes his job as a plumber very seriously and has no patience for his siblings’ childish antics, though he gets caught up in them fairly frequently. He’s more of a scout than a fighter but that doesn’t mean you can afford to underestimate him.

Echo Echo: A music lover through and through, but also a little anti-social. He spends most of his time in his room listening to music from every corner of the galaxy and even composing some of his own sometimes. It’s usually dubstep. You’d best have some earplugs ready when stepping through his door, because he often forgets that not every species has eardrums of steel like he does. It’s a miracle the house hasn’t come down yet.

Goop: Perky, friendly and just downright adorable. Nothing really gets him down (except maybe snatching his anti-gravity device, but why would you? Why would you??? You Monster.). Actually getting on his case is ill-advised, though. He will mess you up if you insist on keeping up whatever bad thing it is you’re doing right now. All while chattering and giggling excitedly.

Humungousaur: The strong silent type. It’s not that nothing gets to him, it’s just that he doesn’t think he has much to say. Which makes it all the more baffling when someone happens to reach his breaking point (hurting his family) and he just goes ballistic, roaring and throwing punches, kicks and tail-swipes left and right. He’s the literal definition of calm before a storm.

Big Chill: He somehow manages to be the Mom Friend and super chill at the same time. He’s a good listener and great at giving life advice, but he also won’t hesitate to use his snark to call someone out on their bullshit. He’s sassy, enjoys quiet places, cool nights and meditation.

Brainstorm: Extremely snooty and thinks he’s the smartest of them all. He is not. That would be Grey Matter, but good luck trying to tell him that, you’ll either be ignored or called an inferior being in some way. Secretly, he just wants Grey Matter to acknowledge him as an equal and prove his worth as a great mind.

Alien X: Like in the show, Alien X doesn’t really talk or do much, because Serena and Bellicus won’t let him most of the time. Occasionally they release him from their on-going debate so he can at least spend a little time with his family. When he’s himself, he’s a composed, intelligent, charming individual. As a result of being essentially a prisoner ins his own body 90 % of the time he’s terrified of waking up one day and finding himself being alone, because the world moved on while he was forced to play referee to his split personalities. In order to help him at least a little bit, Grey Matter and Brainstorm (with a little help from Upgrade) in a rare act of cooperation, modified his room to notify either of them when he’s about to wake up, so they can inform the rest of the family and they can all welcome him together. He appreciates it immensely.

Chromastone: Sophisticated and responsible. He tries not to let it show, but he feels really pressured by his role as Sugilite’s successor and doubts he can actually live up to his role as a guardian of Petropia. He’s especially nervous and awkward around Diamondhead, since both of them don’t really know how they should treat each other. Diamondhead hesitates giving Chromastone orders in battle, despite being the leader, because shouldn’t Chromastone take that role? He’s the guardian after all. Chromastone on the other hand struggles with actually taking command. Diamondhead is older and has been the leader far longer than him, so should he really be handing him the reigns? As you can see, it’s complicated with these two.

Nanomech: Did somebody say Napoleon complex? He’s smaller than even Grey Matter, yet if you listen to him boast, you’d think he was the galaxy’s mightiest fighter. To be completely honest, his arrogance isn’t that unfounded: If he actually gets over himself and fights smart not hard by using his height to act as a saboteur or spy he’s crazy dangerous. He’s always eager to help whack some bad guys and apart from the above mentioned ego problem, he’s a nice little guy. (Tho if you want to stay on his good side, don’t mention the “little” part where he might hear.) His origin of having been part of a malevolent hive mind once is something that bothers him immensely and  a huge part of the reason for him acting like he does. He wants to stand out and for everyone to think he’s a mighty hero, because he doesn’t want to be seen by others (or himself) as still part of the Swarm or even just less of an individual because he technically used to be part of it. Mentioning the queen is a sure-fire way to make him uncomfortable, because it’s a nagging fear of his that she’s still out there and that he’ll fall under her control one day. He has rather graphic nightmares about that, which he of course keeps to himself.

Spidermonkey: Energetic, upbeat and very talkative. Your typical hyper-active monkey-character, with a fair amount of mischief on the side. He, Ripjaws and Ditto hit it off right away. Beware, for together they are the ultimate (pun intended) prank trio. For Spidermonkey, everything is essentially one big joke. Even fights he takes more as an opportunity to have fun than an actual job. When you hear him stop laughing it’s usually a sign just how serious a situation is.

Lodestar: Competent, but really emotional and clumsy. He’s the ‘New Guy’ in every way. Really wants to prove himself, tends to lose control of his powers and as a result often pummels himself or his teammates with all kinds of metal stuff and/or literally loses his head, also can’t help acting overly hammy. His magnet powers are tied to his emotions, causing all kinds of crazy things to happen whenever he’s upset. Which, considering how much of a klutz he can be, is often. He never means to cause as much ruckus and chaos as he does, but the universe in general just seems to have it out for him in that regard. He often spends time with Big Chill, since the latter is often the only one with enough patience to properly train him and is always there to hear him out.

Rath: LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHING, PERSON READING THIS ENTRY ON A TUMBLR POST!! RATH DOESN’T NEED SOME FANCY-PANTS TUMBLRITE TO WRITE HIM A PERSONALITY! RATH ALREADY GOT A PERSONALITY! IN FACT, RATH’S GOT SO MUCH PERSONALITY, I COULD RIP SOME OUT OF MYSELF, THROW IT AT YOUR FACE AND STILL HAVE SO MUCH LEFT I COULD WRITE THIS WHOLE ENTRY MYSELF!! (He’s also got a huge soft-spot for children and his family, but don’t expect him to admit that.)

Armodrillo: He’s not very smart and, despite being really big and really strong, he gets scared very easily. Essentially a big friendly child. His siblings don’t like taking him on missions because even though he can be destructive as heck when in action (or maybe exactly because of that) he doesn’t even like fighting. He just does it to defend himself and others, but his drilling powers and invincibility is often crucial. They always make sure at least one of them stays by his side throughout the whole thing to act as a sort of guardian, though.

AmpFibian: Extremely shy and introverted. Talking to strangers is not his thing. His first instinct when meeting or seeing someone new is usually to book it into the nearest electronic device and stay there until he’s sure they’re safe to be around. He probably had the hardest time out of all the aliens to adapt to his new life out of the watch. Even in present day the only one of his siblings he’ll occasionally hang around with is Echo Echo and even then they don’t really talk much. They just both share a liking for electronic music, so they’ll mostly just listen to that whenever AmpFibian feels brave enough to leave his room.

ChamAlien: The definition of Creepy/Chaotic Good (yes, even more than Big Chill and Ghost Freak). He’s....hard to read. He has this grin on his face 24/7, as if he knows something that nobody else does and the fact that he really seems to like appearing where no one expected him to be doesn’t help. He also doesn’t talk much, only when he thinks the person he’s addressing needs to hear what he has to say.

Clockwork: He’s the detective of the family. Mainly because of his ability to recreate past events, but he also has some rather impressive deductive skills. He and Grey Matter often act as mission control, though Clockwork works in the field as well more often than not. He’s not much of a fighter, but his time powers give him an advantage or two.

Fasttrack: You’d think he’d be a loud bundle of uncontrollable energy like his older brother XLR8, but you’d be wrong. Yes, he’s fast but that’s about the only thing he and XLR8 have in common. Fasttrack is serious, confident, mature and focused, never slacking off on a mission even for a moment. Honestly, he could be considered Diamondhead’s right hand if it weren’t for Frankenstrike. He also utterly despises being mistaken for his moronic speedster sibling and saying or even hinting that the two are alike will get you on his bad side. He has a rather dry sense of humor that often comes out when he’s partnered up with one of his less mission-focused family members.

Jury Rigg: For the love of all that is holy, keep him away from machines! He is an absolute menace around them, either because he doesn’t know how they work, yet still fells the need to mess with them or precisely because he knows how they work and just wants to try and “fix them up” to reach their “full potential” as he calls it. Said potential is often explosive, of course. He and Grey Matter are basically at war because he won’t stop touching Grey’s stuff without permission or stop trying to get into his workshop. He doesn’t mean anything by it, he’s just so naturally hard-wired to be a maniac around technology that he can’t help it. If you manage to pry him away from that, he’s actually pretty low-key, sensible, even. Currently, he acts as the familys’ armorer. It’s his passion. Anything he built is sure to give the bad guys (and sometimes the good guys) a run for their money.

Shocksquatch: Looks scary, but he’s a really big softie. That doesn’t mean he won’t pummel bad guys into the ground, though. Ironically he gets along the best with Wrath of all people. Mostly because they’re both huge wrestling fans and enjoy fighting as a sport. The both of them often spar with Four Arms and Cannonbolt. The record is currently tied, but they’re working on that.

Terraspin: Good-natured and slow movement-wise. He’s friendly to the point of being a doormat, which often leads to some of his siblings, like Upchuck, taking advantage of him. Unsurprisingly, he gets along the best with Upgrade, Wildmutt and Goop. Goop sort of looks out for him and keeps the whole “Do my chores” thing that Upchuck has going with him in check. A very harmless and completely hypothetical joke about tongue-burning acid is all it takes to put a stop to it most of the time. Terraspin is grateful for it.

Water Hazard: The rugged, charming rogue of the group. He does his own thing and doesn’t exactly play by the rules. He can be reasonable, but where’s the fun in that? He and Heatblast do not get along, possibly even less than Swampfire and Heatblast. It may be due to them being opposite elements, it may be because Heatblast secretly fears Water Hazard may take his place as the ‘Cool Big Brother’ or it may just be the fact that Water Hazard won’t stop dousing him in water for no good reason. Who knows?

NRG: Loud, dramatic and really big on physical affection. He’s an enthusiastic hugger, which, combined with the fact that he wears his containment suit at all times, often results in tremendous pain for the hugged. You could say it’s compensation for the fact that he can so rarely actually touch things/people because, y’know...they’d literally die. He enjoys every moment out of his suit, flying around giddily and shouting even more than usual.

[storylocke]

CR Crossover Follow-up

C.C.:

I don’t quite remember how it happened. My mind was gone. I felt myself falling- free floating- I don’t know how to describe it, but what I do know was that I had a power beyond my comprehension flowing through me! I envisioned, which within that dark space of my mind, I could see the worlds within in my hands and I drew them together. I could SEE Xena, my Xena, there within reach as I held out my hand to pull her across the Void. And I believe… [he shakes his head a moment as it was really the only thing left to make sense] I believe in my attempts to pull her out of that hellscape, I instead brought everything else in too. [he starts laughing, a slightly broke and hollow laugh as he looks up at the ceiling before turning to the other two] They tried to tell me you were gone. Not that you were dead, but that those fully taken by the Glitches cannot leave that other world. It would take a miracle. … A miracle…

Xena:

…. That’s not true. [shifts uncomfortably] What about Abe? We… We tried to follow the same path as he did because that’s what was needed to beat The Game. So I could come home.

C.C.:

Except there is no game. And I found out through some of my research that he never did get to escape, even after doing all that They told him to do. It wasn’t until the barrier between the two worlds had corroded through fighting between gods and the spreading of Glitches, and the utter chaos that he and several others were able to cross through. He was freed at the expense that, to my understanding, another boy took his place in that world. [takes deep breath] What we were trying to do might have worked before you were so corrupted by those fiends, but people like you and Fifer, cannot exist properly on this side without becoming a demon yourself. So… so I brought the world to you, I guess.

Xena:

That doesn’t mean you should be ashamed about it. You didn’t know what would happen-

C.C.:

It doesn’t matter, I knew what I was doing.

Xena:

But you were manipulated-

C.C.:

So what?

Xena:

They brainwashed you-

C.C.:

So what?

Xena:

You just said so yourself you had no control as you were doing it.

C.C.:

So what? [shifts in his seat so he can stare her down directly] My reasons and my actions at the time doesn’t matter, just the fact that I did it. Johto and Kanto are now under an eternal winter, Kalos is wrecked beyond recognition. Hoenn now exists in two places at once with the barren wasteland version of our World having been taken over by theives and Glitches and becoming a literal shadow of itself. Time itself may even be in ruins as we’ve had reports of villains not seen since antiquity have sudden appeared in our present! And nothing you can say, nothing we can do, can change the fact that this is all. my. fault.

Hannah:

[arms crossed as she sits back in the chair, taking all this in] Sounds like there may have still been another way. You do realize that we need to share all this with the others since so far we’ve been trying to find out if there’s some Great Evil that caused this mess, and why, and if we can beat, and so forth. If it turns out it’s just you then-

C.C.:

[coldly cuts her off] There IS a Great Evil behind this, and it is THEM.

Hannah:

[Ugh, here we go again] The Voices are not evil, Cesar. They just do things for the sake of doing things, I don’t think they have any real good or bad intensions, they just exist. What happened to you really sucks, and the aftermath of it all sucks especially, but I don’t think they meant for any of this to happen any more than you did.

C.C.:

It’s easy enough for you to say, a fraction of your own power comes from Them but you were able to use it for good. Perhaps They liked you, or perhaps Their actions in Flora was merely setting the stage for later things to come. But you ask Xena, ask Fifer, ask Venus, just how badly their lives have been changed because of these so-called whims of fate you speak of.

Hannah:

…. [trying to come up with a counter, but doesn’t have one. Goes for the snark] What about Y?

Xena:

Never ask Y, he’s a good kid, but I think he enjoys all this just a little too much.

C.C.:

We don’t really know enough about him to know what he was like before we met. And that’s what bothers me. There are plenty of other forces out there right now ready to take advantage of the situation, but I am telling you, it’s only going to get worse. I still need to do more research, to find out what could happened for the seemingly benevolent Voices we heard of in our youth to suddenly appear again and bring pain and corruption to all those touched by Them. Someone is going to get hurt, if it hasn’t happened already. Perhaps I’m not even the only one to face the fate of being given a great power only to have it turn into such devastation. [Thoughtful as he slides off the bed to go up to Hannah] Didn’t you say that Flora has some ancient hidden library with information on the past?

Hannah:

That’s typically what libraries do. Stories and history and other boring stuff. Why?

C.C.:

I need you to take me there. I know you don’t like it, but there could be some valuable information there that could help us. I need to learn more about the Voices so next time I can be sure to be in full control.

Xena:

[Slightly alarmed] Next time?

C.C.:

Now that I have told you both, I am more than certain that my ability to channel that power was no mere fluke. I need to reclaim Their power so I can set the worlds right, but in order to do that I need to learn to bend reality to my will.

Hannah:

No. [crosses arms again as she glares him down] No, Cesar, you don’t. Trust me, you don’t want the power or the responsibility, especially seeing how badly broken you are from causing all this in the first place. [Now he’s glaring at her, but she keeps her stance to show she’s not intimidated by him] Yeah, I said it. You said so yourself you broke when it happened, and frankly I’d say you’re pretty broken still. Once that power left you, you’ve been released, okay? There’s plenty of others out there who’ve already tried the world manipulation route and it ended badly for them, don’t think you’ll be any different just because it happened before. Now I’m not saying we shouldn’t look into this. You’re right that we need you to look into this, because hell knows I can’t keep up that kind of focus and memorization; but I do know that the world has a way of fixing itself when it gets fucked up like this. We’ll do what we can. As a team. And right now the best thing you can do for the world is using your personal power to make sure this kind of shit never happens to anyone else.

C.C.:

[He’s listening to her, rather intently, but it’s also clear that the gears in his mind have already started racing] So you’ll take me there?

Hannah:

[Throws hands up in the air, but drops them as she can only shrug] Yeah, I can get you in there.

Xena:

We should probably tell the others what’s going on before you two leave though…

Hannah:

Well duh. We’re not just gonna leave in the middle of the night for another region without telling anyone.

C.C.:

Alright, but I need you both to listen. What I shared with you is very serious and a deep secret I’ve been keeping. What we’ve said here does not leave the room. You cannot tell any of the others.

Hannah:

What?

Xena:

Why?

C.C.:

I know finding out the cause behind the world collision is very important, but I don’t want my past and my actions to become a point of tension within our group. If they knew that I was the one behind all this, I’m not so sure they’d be so willing to help me get stronger if I’m now considered a threat. You two know my intention. Will you help me?

Both:

[Soft, somewhat reluctantly] Yes…

C.C.:

Thank you. [deep breath, that was a lot to get out, but it’s such a relief to know they took it better than he thought.] Alright, Hannah? Would you mind going to tell the others about our plans for Flora? I’d like a moment alone with Xena.

Hannah:

Really? Just gonna drop something this heavy on me and ask me to leave?

Xena:

Hannah…

Hannah:

Nah, nah, I get it. You two are family, got a lot of personal stuff to go over, it’s cool. I guess I’ll see you guys tomorrow. [turns back as she nears the door, flashing a weak grin as she tries to lighten the mood] Though if you waaant, we’ve got a party in the girls’ room, Xena.

Xena:

[Grin] I’ll be over in a minute then.

~~~~~

Continuation from my comic for the Crossover Contest

It's not part of the entry, but I did say I had an entire AU forming even before the contest came up and this just hit me this morning.

Taking place after all of the Season 5 runs, the idea of all of the Hosts getting together to figure out what is going on with these crazy place given we've been doing a lot of mods this season and into S6. Which is what this is hinting at is R. Colosseum, XG, and worst of all THE haven't happened yet, but the potential for extreme Voice shenanigans is at large. Burning Red in my timeline happened BEFORE Dual Red and Blue so while Kay isn't part of the group, I'm not sure if or when or how he'd show up either since he's potentially a time traveler and maaay have disappeared after BR events. But who knows. I'm not sure how many parts I'll actually write out for this thing if I decide to keep going, but there is at least one other scene I'd like to do.

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

your little recap of Lena and James's interactions in S2 and S3 so far only proves this: before 3.09, they had only one (1) scene in which they spoke to each other in a way that wasn't either slightly confrontational or outright hostile. their other scenes include him making 1 positive comment about her in a meeting, them disagreeing on how to run the company that she now owns, and him taking a bullet for her, something which is sort of in the job description for, I don't know, Guardian?

2/2 the real problem with the James and Lena relationship isn't that he has been horrible to her in the past. the problem is that the extent of their relationship prior to 3.09 is at best politeness (you can MAYBE make a weak case for an extremely casual friendship) and at worst, hostility. the writers make multiple characters say ''you two have chemistry' only because they know it's not apparent to viewers on its own. the problem is that it's forced, and fans of both characters deserve better

HeyAnon.

So,before we dig in here, I think I should reiteratesomething, since you don't appear to have acknowledged it in eitherof your messages: My 'little recap' isn't actually about theJames x Lena pairing—it's focused entirely on refuting the argumentthat James is a...ah, how does fandom put it? 'Problematic, toxicf***boy.' (Yep. Fandom's actual words. Just go skim through the Jamestag, I'm sure you'll find it eventually.)

Butyou clearly want to talk about the ship. Okay, let's talk about theship:

WhatI'm getting, from your messages, is that you feel the ship is rushedand underwritten/underdeveloped.

Hi,welcome to romance on Supergirl.

Actually,hi, welcome to just about everythingon Supergirl. This show burns through plot points and character arcsat a speed that would make Barry Allen green with envy. They're doinga nice job of teasing out the Reign plot, but guess what hasn't beenlovingly developed over multiple episodes? Kara's friendship withSam. They had, what. One episode? Where they interacted one-on-one? And suddenlyKara's gushing about how her year was better because of theirfriendship and they're hugging and smiling and...

What?When did this happen?

Here'swhere fandom's beloved cry of 'show don't tell' comes into play: Karais telling us thatshe's very good friends with Sam. She has to, because a handful of on-screen interactions does not a deep, meaningful relationship make, as you've pointed outin the case of James x Lena.

Sowhy aren't people yelling about the grievous 'telling not showing'happening with Kara and Sam?

I'lltell you why: it doesn't get in the way of the Almighty Ship.

Like,there are so many instancesof weak writing and storytelling on this show—it has beenthere from the beginning. That'sthe kind of writing we all signed up for. Now, personally, I feel likethey're getting better at balancing the sheer amount of story theywant to cram into any given episode, but they still haven't shakenall of their bad habits. Singling out the James x Lena romance as anyworse than their usualstorytelling shortcomings seems...hmmm. How shall I put this?Particularly biased.

Now on to some of your additional points: Specifically, I want to address the one about James and Lena disagreeing when it comes to CatCo. You’ve made sure to mention that Lena now owns the company, so I can only assume you feel that this...I don’t know. Gives her some sort of edge in their argument? I would like to remind youthat Lena, by her own admission,does not know what she is doing:

Shockingly,purchasing a company doesn't immediately make you an expert onrunning it.

Who does that leave us with, as the resident expert on running CatCo? That’s right, it’s JAMES OLSEN.

Brieflyentertain the notion that Lena is not perfect so that you may seethat she does not communicate with him,which leads directly to their disagreement and mutualfrustration/annoyance. It is,quite clearly, all Lena’s fault.So this 'open hostility' you keep harping on (which is a subjectiveinterpretation, as all I see is justifiable irritation between two people who have yet to figure out how to talk to each other) isn't based on an underlying hatred, or bias, or disrespect.

It'sa dumb workplace disagreement. Those happen.

(Andif I honestly have to sit here, and explain why arguing the ethics ofadvertorials is not remotely similarto the kind of arguments Kara and Mon-El had throughout season twothen I just. I give up.) 

Andlike, look Anon. I agreethat there's not a ton of on-screen development. You are rightin that my 'little recap' shows just how few interactions theyhave—but that is not a good enough reasonto hate on a ship. Sorry. You have no moral high ground to stand on.Sometimes romances are poorly written and developed. (Especially when it happens between two characters who aren’t the lead on the show.) But that doesn't make them unhealthy or toxic. That's why people areliterally making stuff upin order to protest it. 'Fans' are crawling out of the woodwork to tell you howawful James is and as my little recap demonstrated:That simply isn't true.

Also,I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but given the nature of writing fiction: everything is 'forced.' Nothing happens organically.Everything is written/planned well in advance. Chemistry issubjective. The cake is a lie. Han shot first. Natalie Imbruglia's“Torn” is actually a cover.

Iknow, I know. It's a lot to take in.

Finally,your closing statement there: that the fans deserve better. Whichfans, Anon? The ones who routinely flood the James Olsen tag withhateful garbage? The ones who harass actors and writers becausethey're not getting their way? Maybe you mean the fans who were soupset when they felt their shipwas being made fun of, and have now turned around and done the exactsame thing to a ship they don'tlike, behaving like a bunch of obnoxious five-year-olds, name-callingand all? 

No,not those ones? Okay, how about the fans who just want to enjoy their fav in peace? You know, the ones who maybe want to log onto a social media site, and not be subjected to a stream of vile comments, many of which amount to ‘they should just kill James off.’ The ones who want to see the guy get more than three minutes of screen time. The ones who are justifiably upset that the show removed him as romantic male lead and would be satisfied with him just BEING INVOLVED IN THE STORY AT ALL, instead of popping up as a supportive background character once every four episodes or so.

Maybe you’re referring to thosefans. To which I say: I think they're probably okay with thisdevelopment. (Of course, I can't speak for everyone, so take that with a grain of salt.)

This show has made it veryclear they have no intention ofacknowledging that Kara x James was ever A Thing, or returning to it.So James getting a different love interest? That could result inan awesome Power Couple, snarking their way through assassinationattempts in their color-coordinating wool coats? Here for it.(Well. As much as someone generally uninterested inrelationships/romance can behere for a 'ship.')

Inconclusion, Anon: James x Lena is happening. To what degree, we don'tknow. I'm fine with it, you're clearly not. And that's okay.You're allowed to not like things.

Butdressing up personal preference as some sort of...self-righteous,progressive crusade against 'problematic' content, and spreading hateful rhetoric that at best, smacks of typicalconfirmation bias and, at worst, outright racism, is notokay.

Justadmit you'd rather see two white ladies bang, and be done with it.

Peace,dude.

[spiteweaver]

for the lore q thing? ahh 14, 35, 60

Shoot, I must’ve missed this one!!! It’s not Wednesday anymore, BUT FUCK IT, I’LL ANSWER IT ANYWAY!

14. Does your clan favor war or diplomacy?

Diplomacy. If a disagreement can be solved peaceably, Dreamweaver will do everything in their power to ensure it is.

Not for lack of power, mind–Feldspar isn’t a military clan, but it is home to an awful lot of dangerous people, all of whom are willing to fight and die to protect their land and loved ones.

Dreamweaver would just rather it not come to that.

35. How are disputes with other clans dealt with?

In most cases, diplomatically. Dreamweaver typically oversees negotiations themselves, but, when their schedule won’t allow it, their ambassadors step in and try to find a compromise everyone’s happy with.

There are cases where more drastic actions must be taken (see: the warren), but it rarely comes to war or even threats of it.

60. Who’s the clan troublemaker(s) and who has to clean up the mess?

Do you want the full list? Here goes nothing!

Phantasos, who is still a child at heart, and, thus, very fond of mischief-making

Faust and Holloway, who have never done anything particularly nasty, but who do enjoy a good “night on the town” every now and then (usually in the form of tormenting poor Petros)

Crucis, who doesn’t mean to cause trouble, but who refuses to put his academic pursuits on hold for the convenience of others

Vicar, who is, quite honestly, an accident waiting to happen

Abraxas, whose favorite pastimes are snarking at his clanmates and directly disobeying Dreamweaver’s orders (and who also eats his weight in, well, everything if left alone for longer than five seconds)

Loyal, who has no concept of personal space and probably wants to subject several of his clanmates to unspeakable torture

Eurig, who is a literal criminal in the eyes of his fellow alchemists, as well as exceedingly greedy, to a point where he would sell his own soul for a single bar of gold

Achilles, who has a very good heart, but who enjoys his men a bit too much and has a nasty tendency to cause conflict wherever he shows his beautiful face

Morgan, who still doesn’t understand why Dreamweaver won’t let him test his wares on his clanmates

Ambrosius, who has probably literally stolen candy from a baby before

Twyling, who frequently hurls spells and potions down from his tower at anyone who so much as glances at his lawn

Yarrow, who lies and cheats at gambling and instigates more bar brawls than should be possible for a single dragon

Guile, whose bad attitude and tendency to hold a grudge have resulted in more than one of his clanmates ending up hospitalized

Armand, who can be trusted about as far as he can be thrown

Delucius, who Dreamweaver very much wishes they could bend over their knee and spank for his nosiness and dedication to dragging everyone’s private affairs out into the open

Errol, who delights in swindling anything and everything out of anyone and everyone

Branwen, who cannot control his temper and sets everything on fire when he loses it

Cain, who is unhealthily obsessed with bagging himself a handsome man and will absolutely kill to achieve this goal

Avery, who is five feet of pure contempt for the world and all of its inhabitants

Beleth, who writes smutty fanfic about his clanmates when he should be working

And Dreamweaver cleans up every single mess they make.

[360degreesasthecrowflies]

2017 FarscapeWatch: 1.01 ‘Premiere’

I’ve made a few posts about this before, but for any new readers, welcome. This is the first official entry in my FarscapeWatch series for 2017. I’ve never seen the show before, and so I decided to react to it and write down my thoughts as I watch each episode, and make a series of it. As a millennial LGBT Brit, what I’ll end up thinking of this 90s US show should (hopefully) be interesting! Format wise; each of these entries will start with a stream-of-consciousness style recap of the episode and my thoughts as I watched, and will also feature character and plot analysis sections and a character ranking of my faves at the end. So without further ado...let’s get into this episode!

1.01 ‘Premiere’

Open on Earth. A dude. (Main dude?) Oh, he's pretty hot. Nasa? Astronaut. American Dude. A bit Buzz Lightyear. Douchey 90s scientist friend. I'm getting slight Fantastic Four vibes, but our main guy is more Ben Grimm than Mr F. Working with his dad, okay. This guy's an astronaut, so could go either way scientist or dudebro. These guys are Southern? My American knowledge is not super solid. This dad and son stuff is running between charming and cringey... unsure what age this show is aimed at.

Okay the spaceship is away up. Predictably everything goes wrong: premise, activate. Wormhole to some distant part of the universe = Actual spaceships, aliens.

Interesting theme song. Very otherworldly. No lyrics or cheesy stuff. This guy seems to be our lead then unless it's ensemble.

Other major players introduced. Another human woman, improbably enough, as #2. Some kind of weird Jar Jar Binks like alien midget, a guy who will obviously be The Big Guy and a blue lady who looks like some kind of mystic Sinead O’Connor. It was the 90s, after all. Other random aliens, spaceships, space. The humans bonding, of course. And credits are done.

We're still in space. He's in a firefight? Oh great someone's crashed into him, veered off and blown up. Now there's a massive ship...space station? He's being sucked in, tractor beam or something.

Okay the CGI is not wonderful but it's the 90s so I'll whistle past it. I know this is Jim Henson so there'll be puppetry somewhere...as weird a premise for an adult show as that is.

Okay he's left the safety of the ship. Unarmed. This guy's meant to be a smart scientist?

Spaceship is...a kind of retro-junk, Firefly feel to it. Not sleek tech. Lol he's getting menaced by some little robots. Like Noo Noo from the teletubbies.

Approaching the alien people. Well done. They're not talking English, good. That's one stupid trope averted. Oh, they've noticed him. Ooh blue lady is creepy.

Oh, translation injection or something. Interesting. Oh, they think he's advanced tech...lol.

Red guy is angry. Blue woman is calm. Who'dve guessed with that character design?

Despite the size of this ship there's only a few of them on.

Little sluggy guy is a bit Emperor Palpatine. Creepy.

Did blue lady deflect some spaceships with magic, psychic powers or something? She was praying or casting a spell right before.

So the ship seems to have just got free from whatever it was locked in just by chance. Red guy did something the equivalent of kicking the computer when it won’t work, and that seemed to do the trick.

Oh, the ship can teleport, okay, so Star Trek-ish. Starburst. Cool name. Even if that's a name of some sweets here in the UK.

 We meet our enemies, I'm guessing. Red and black and military style. I like this military lady, military officer? Seems to be a second in command to this guy whose brother seems to've died in the spaceship crash.

Oh, the pilot guy is quite positive. Just called 'pilot'?

Haha...American dude (John?) is predictably aghast at all these new things and people. Americentrism in action. Definitely aimed to engage the American audience to sympathise tho. I'm getting the feeling this might end up being a show with him as lead and everyone else supporting, not an ensemble. They knock him out and spit on him lol, at least the two dudes do. Blue lady seems to be the voice of reason here.

Scene cut to blue lady and red guy. They seem to just be meeting for the first time too?? They know each others' species. Ooh blue lady is so creepy! (Zan? Xan?) She also seems to be...sexy? But also a priest? Interesting. Huh. She seems to be, surprisingly, also a bad girl. How complex. Red guy is..or seems to be a typical Honour Guy. Blue lady emasculates him a wee bit...she might be much older than him, despite flirting. Interesting.

Sets these two up to be opposite forces...but also hints at some shipping. (already! in episode 1!)

John wakes up. Thought he was dreaming, wasn't. Appears to be...naked? They've locked him up.

Palpatine comes floating by to dispense some snark. He’s a pompous ex-emperor or something. Fitting.

Oh, John's locked in with a robot or something. Huh. Oh, no, it's a woman. Mrs leading lady. Ohgod he's smiling at her and flirting. Yes! She fights back! Right away. And brutally! Oh, I quite like her too.

Officer Aeryn Sun. Cool name.

Okay, team bonding. They will all eventually become pals I imagine due to the premise and the opening. Blue lady and John seem to have some signs of bonding. On the flipside, enmity between red and Aeryn AND red and John, and no-one seems to like Palpatine.

They're all jockeying for power and leadership...bless.

Oh, there's farting and fart jokes...okay. I don't know how I feel about this. Not thrilled. Is this show aimed at adults? DVD covers seemed to suggest so.

It's a bit Xena with the sets, acting and everything.

I love how Aeryn just does not give two shits. She and blue lady are two bright spots of light in this pretty messy pilot episode.

Aeryn and John escape their cell and Aeryn immediately rats them out to her commander. The military guys come to pick them up, but don't seem to care much about Aeryn.

As it happens, Aeryn and John and the others end up on the same planet although they took different ships to get there. Red guy comes to recapture Aeryn and John. They are all menaced by military guy tho who Aeryn has snitched to.

Aeryn defends John, ish. She is being logical, but commander guy takes it for emotional.

So this is how they become a team, because Aeryn gets cast out and now has nowhere else to go and has information that can help the rest, and also because after John helps them all escape he insists on taking her too because she defended him.

Denouement; John uses scientific knowledge and Aeryn her steering ability to give the spaceship extra speed using a planet's gravity. That's actually pretty clever scripting to use all of their skills.

Post-plot finishing: we get more character stuff. Zhaan meditates naked. Red guy threatens John and is focused on being free above all else. Aeryn shows signs of being a bit of a white supremacist, or whatever the alien equivalent is. Close with John making a report/diary log, a good closer.

CHARACTER BEATS (complete with having googled character names so I know how to spell them now)

JOHN

Honourable, maybe to a fault. A bit naive. Scientific, although appearing on the surface to be a bit of a dudebro character. Reminds me a bit here of Riley from Buffy. Seems to be the main character. Quite attractive, although not my usual type. Very American in terms of what he's assuming and the jumps he's making. Also a very 90s character; seeking peaceful solutions or resolutions wherever possible, a character archetype that peaked in popularity then.

ZHAAN

An interestingly complex character for one that seems on the surface to be several easy stereotypes; the mystic, the witch, and the beautiful alien. Being a priest but also flirty/promiscuous but also the voice of reason but also showing flashes of having a manipulative streak makes for a very interesting character, to see where she goes from here and which traits become dominant. They planted a lot of seeds with her character.

 D'ARGO

Seems to be by contrast, a much less interesting character from this first episode. An Honourable Warrior archetype who is also The Big Guy, aggressive, and will probably want at some point to be the head honcho on board. Seems to have clashed with everyone so far.

 RYGEL

Shockingly like Emperor Palpatine but probably not as clever. Really good puppetry on the design. A bit of a creepy old man vibe. I can see myself not liking this character. The farting, burping and spitting is all a bit disgusting for me as well, I thought I was watching a space opera, not Dumb and Dumber. Has already in 1.01 shown hints though of having a blustering, daft facade covering a much more sly personality underneath. Reminds me a little of Boris Johnson.

 PILOT

Is the pilot literally called Pilot? Creative. This character looks to just be a face on a screen for a lot of it, and looks to probably be long-suffering having to deal with so many volatile personalities on board. Just look at that face already.

 CRAIS

Not much to say on this dude. As if one of the villains from Xena escaped that show and managed to commandeer a spacecraft. He does what he has to for plot reasons, but it's not that sophisticated a story. Still, Buffy's season 1 plot wasn't the strongest either, so I can let it go.

AERYN

Finally another character I have more to say on. I quite like her. She, like Zhaan, has a interesting mix of characteristics. She has the emotionless woman down to a T, but there's also shades of Honourable Warrior there, an archetype I don't so often see applied to women. (I haven't yet seen Wonder Woman, but I imagine that would be one notable exception) I like that she seems to be largely self-serving and will be forced to work as part of a group, I'm wondering how she'll adapt to that. Also the actress is doing a stellar job, and I can't quite make out her accent, almost British, which I wasn't expecting. Also, what a cool name and spelling.

 PLOT POINTS AS OF 1.01

The team are all together, in space

Crais and the Peacekeepers are chasing them, both because they are all criminals and for a personal vendetta

Their quests: to escape, and to go back to their homes, free

  WHAT THIS EPISODE ADVANCED:

Mainly plot setup, with a little bit of shipping between D'Argo and Zhaan, and hints of possible ship tension between Aeryn and John, although I didn't like that as much because John seemed to be assuming she'd be into buddying up. I was so happy that she stood on her own two feet and didn't fall into his arms. I feel like since the 90s, we've moved full circle on those stereotypes and now run the risk of playing into them so as to 'surprise' the audience who are used to straight subversions.

  CHARACTER RANKING AS OF 1.01:

1) Zhaan (easily)

2) Aeryn

3) John (just... none of the male characters have really caught me yet)

4) D'Argo (a dull character type)

5) Pilot (not much fuel here, but not as hateful as..)

6) Rygel (ugh)

7) Crais (probably the flattest character thus far)

and if we're ranking major AND minor characters, I'd put Crais's unnamed (?) female officer just above John because I love her attitude and delivery.

 And that's it for this episode of FarscapeWatch! Check back in my Farscape 2017 section on my blog (linked on the homepage) for my next episode reviews, as they come! Or feel free to give me a follow to catch all of my stuff ;)

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