#but also so dumb for never considering the cat could be a shapeshifter

[whumpsblog]

September 12th - "Emotional Support Animal”

The events here take place once Hanna has escaped from Connor’s possession and has reunited with her family. They have reestablished Safe Haven 2.0 in a new location and are trying to rebuild what they have lost.

Master list for the series

Master list for Comfortember

Face Claim for Characters

TAGGING: @broken-horn​ , @eatyourdamnpears​ , @bloodandbandages​ , @justplainwhump​ , @whump-dream​ , @butwhatifyouwrite​ **if you want to be added PM ME**

The creaky old fire escape groaned and protested under the weight of Hannas body as she ascended up the side of the building. It squeaked loudly but she knew it was safe to climb because she had climbed it a hundred times before – every morning for five years before she had been taken from her home, and every morning for the past two months since her return.

Using the railing she pulled herself up over the edge and the warm morning sunlight hit her face, turning her hair golden and warming her body and soul. A warm salty breeze that had been previously blocked by the building, hit her softly and played with her short hair.

The feeling was amazing, and she smiled as she stepped up onto the buildings brick ledge. She hopped down onto the gravel rooftop with a smile and took in the beautiful skyline; shiny buildings in front of a pink purple and red sky. An absolutely stunning and breathtaking sight and she was more than grateful to have it and such wonderful weather.

In the silence of the morning city the stones of the rooftop crunched loudly under her converse as she crossed the roof and took a seat on the farthest ledge. Right next to a small grey female cat that was perched on the ledge. It meowed eagerly when Hanna sat down next to it and rubbed its head against her leg and her body against her side.

Hanna chuckled. “Well good morning to you too cat.” She greeted friendly. Hanna gave the cat a little scratch behind its ears, which the cat thoroughly enjoyed, before pulling off her backpack and setting it down behind her.

Immediately the cat jumped down to inspect it.

“Yes yes yes, you know theres something in there for you.” Hanna laughed. “Would I ever come up here and not bring something for you?” she asked rhetorically because she was talking to a cat.

The cat looked up at her expectantly and rubbed its body against the bag.

Hanna smirked again and gently pushed the cat aside so she could get into it. She pulled two muffins out of the backpack, one blueberry and one chocolate, and unwrapped the blueberry muffin for her feline friend, before setting it down on the flat stone ledge of building. The cat jumped up and immediately started eating the muffin, biting at the edges like a human would. Hanna had once found it strange that the cat loved muffins so much and at like this, but eventually disregarded the strange behavior. She was a street cat after all. She was probably just hungry.

“My my my.” said Hanna as she watched the cat and started picking at her own muffin, “Someone is certainly hungry today.”

The cat looked up at Hanna with her green eyes, meeting her gaze with her typical intense human like eye contact, before turning her attention back to the muffin.

The first day Hanna came to this spot, the first morning she was back at Safe Haven, Hanna found this little curious cat sitting in her spot. It looked at her with upmost surprise, as if to ask her ‘what the heck are you doing here?’, but to Hanna’s surprise, she didn’t run away and hide when Hanna approached her. Nor did she run when Hanna took a seat next to her.

The morning after, Hannas second morning of being back at Safe Haven, the cat was there again. That time however, it didn’t look at her with nearly as much surprise, but with almost a degree of pleased expectancy.

Every day, except for Fridays, the cat joined Hanna on the roof, and eventually Hanna had started bringing her food. But only human food for the cat never cared for cat food, let it be dry or wet. The first time Hanna tried to feed her such food the cat straight up got up and left, almost as if it was offended.

But despite being offended however, it came back the next day, and was more than pleased when Hanna presented it with a muffin. “Such a picky little cat.” Hanna had teased after discovering that.

Hanna had grown to enjoy her curious little grey friend, and the cat seemed to enjoy her presence as well. Why wouldn’t it? It was a cat who got scratches and free food. Of course it would enjoy her presence.

Hanna stared swinging her legs over the ledge of the building to a beat of a song that hand been stuck in her head, humming softly to herself as she did so, while also eating. Occasionally she would sing to the cat and sometimes, Hanna would find it sitting there with its green eyes closed, listening to the sounds she produced and even, possibly, enjoying her singing.

Once Hanna was finished with her muffin and the cat had eaten almost a third of hers, the two sat and stared out over the city before them. Sometime the cat would curl up next to Hanna and take a quick cat nap, and other times it would join Hanna in a deep contemplation as it sat silently next to her and stared out over the city.

Today the cat had chosen neither. Instead it curled up on Hannas lap and stared out over the city. Choosing to listen and receive slow pets as Hanna talked to it. Hanna didn’t talk about anything in particular and somedays she would straight up bitch about the strange and annoying particulars of her life, but the cat always seemed interested. And the best thing was, it never told her that her thoughts and feelings were invalid. It just . . . listened.

After about an hour of petting the cats soft fur and talking to the cat Hanna sighed, before scooping it up in her arms and giving it a quick good by hug. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” She asked the cat as she set her back down on the ledge.

The cat stretched lazily and started grooming herself absent mindedly, not regarding her in the slightest.

Hanna only smirked. “Okay then.” The Omega grabbed her backpack off of the ground and swung it over her shoulder and turned to leave. She walked back to the ladder that she had climbed up and once she got to it, she looked back over to the small creature, to find it staring at her and waiting patiently for her to leave.

It always did that. It always watched her as she walked away.

Hanna offered the cat a smile and an easy wave before descending down the latter with the same amount of noise as before.

The cat remained where it was, listening to Hanna until it didn’t hear the ladder shift and squeak under her weight, and watched the young woman as she made her way down the street.

Only when the cat was sure Hanna wouldn’t look back over her shoulder, did the cat jump onto the rooftop and transform back into her human form.

In a mere few seconds the grey cat transformed herself into a young skinny African American girl with grey hair. She was dressed in a green tank top and cargo pants, and she stood up tall and stretched her arms behind her back, before sitting down on the ledge just as Hanna had several moments before. She scooped up the rest of her muffin and bobbed her head and swung her legs to the song Hanna had hummed and sung to her, as she finished it off happily.

She loved her mornings with her friend.

[phoenixyfriend]

The Catboy Valois AU

This one is a little cursed, and inspired by this Totally Spies post.

This AU does contain some nsfw content, which I will place at the end of the post and mark for (it’s right after the dog pics). Once again, this was brainstormed on the GG server, back in October of 2019. Biggest contributor other than myself was @atagotiak​.

So I decided that, at some point, I need to see one of those inexplicable and very horny modern catpeople AUs.

Where a fraction of the population just happens to have cat ears and tails etc. for... minimal reason.

Tarvek def has them. Bc twink. Sticking to the tropes, you know.

All the Valois are catpeople because most of history didn't have the option of interbreeding, just coexisting. Something something sterile hybrids because chromosomes.

Andronicus Valois, Catboy King

Lucrezia was full human and Aaronev never had a chance.

"Most of history" because recently they scienced up ways to get around it, so there are catperson/human hybrids, like Gil and Zeetha (Klaus is human, Zanta is not).

Klaus is kinda glad Gil has cat ears bc this makes people automatically assume he can’t be the dad even if they realize it’s technically possible.

This means Agatha gets her boys.

The human (Lars), the hybrid (Gil), and the cat (Tarvek).

Anevka's initial robot body doesn't have the cat features just due to the fact that Tarvek was aiming for Bare Minimum, and then when he added them in later she decided she liked being able to pick when she had them.

I am morally obligated to reblog the callout art @mercurialvoid​ did for me a few years ago.

We’re not gonna talk about that, though.

human Othar/catgirl Anevka

SCENT MARKING

It's considered Undignified but everyone still DOES it, just... discreetly.

Agatha thinks nothing of it when Zeetha rubs their cheeks together while training and then someone looks at her funny and asks if that's her girlfriend or something.

And Agatha Realizes that she's currently got Belongs-to-Zeetha scent on her and has to scramble to explain that Zeetha kind of adopted her as a little sister because it's the closest approximation she can come up with that still has Acceptable Connotations.

I think platonic marking is a THING but mostly within families, children, and really close female friends, like holding hands. (Toxic masculinity does apply.)

And kolee-zumil is effectively family relationship.

Agatha can't SMELL the scent markings but she gets used to them.

Also like. There's probably different levels of scent marking depending on the body part. Wrists and cheeks are different.

Jagers that used to be catboys have better senses of smell, and are the ones sent to find a Heterodyne.

Agatha and Lars make out but don't go all the way because Agatha is not ready. (Meanwhile, Zeetha can literally smell how horny these dumb kids are.)

TINY BABY GILVEK FACE NUZZLES WHILE STILL ON CW:

(Imagine how much more dangerous the baby gilvek airship-exploring shenanigans would be given one is a catboy and the other is half catboy.)

Gil just kinda scent marks on literally everything/everyone. The boy is affection-starved well into adulthood. He probably purrs too. And purring is probably considered kinda undignified.

Tarvek purrs when he’s designing clothes in his head. He’s embarrassed when he realizes. Everyone thinks it’s cute tho.

Also when crafting super-complicated diabolical plans.

Purring isn’t very diabolical. So it’s embarrassing and doesn’t fit with the aesthetic at all.

It’s hard to do an evil scheme while being an image-conscious catboy.

Gil only. Sort of knows how to cat. He's not very good at it. Zulenna helped but...

Is Von Pinn a cat? Gut says yes. Though it makes it less likely she'd be mistaken for Lu as the students did, but hey! She’d appreciate that.

She probably wouldn’t know how to cat.

Or maybe she would, given we’re assuming hereditary and she was made for Andronicus... She probably knows a bit abt how to tell other people how to cat, but she doesn’t know how to cat herself.

The Muses... not designed to look like catpeople. Ruined the minimalist bodies RVR was going for, going by canon's lack of consistent ears or noses

Agatha does not realize at first that Von-Pinn is a cat-lady because her ears match her hair and every time she sees Agatha her ears go back, and the tail is hidden under the hobble dress.

Otilia is very happy to go from catwoman body to Giant Metal Cat body

KITTY BANGLADESH DUPREE

She's got a faint pattern to her fur that's, on closer inspection, very much indicating she's a PANTHER.

Consider: Tarvek starts working himself up into a frenzied panic and the nearest Trusted Person starts petting him to calm him down and he like. Melts.

TBH tho, a good portion of canon Tarvek’s behaviour can already be described as “cat does something stupid and immediately after attempts to pretend he has dignity even though everyone saw the stupid thing.”

Once Tarvek calms down... Lazy Cat Time.

OH

NECK PINCH

CH would be ecstatic that Agatha snagged two suitors, then swing around to devastated that they’re both catboys, and maybe delusional enough to attempt to cut the ears/tails off like that’d solve anything then come around to “well there’s always science” once it’s fixed.

All Valois have high necks on their outfits, at least at the back

So nobody tries to Deactivate The Cat

(One less thing for Anevka to worry about.)

Because, you know. Canon decided to cut Agatha in half to acquire an heir, so we can’t exactly say the Castle is all that sensible.

It does calm down once Agatha mentions she has Lars, though.

Per @lyratalus​: Krosp could be... so much more dangerous in this AU. What if he was designed to be emperor of all catpeople?

Cats never do what they're told anyways, and you can’t really control people without wasps, but the attempt was made! Vapnoople was ambitious!

Long story short, there's a spark of Something but then they just bat him off the table.

Imagine Seffie making Martellus Stop by deactivating the cat

Violetta is the cutest lil catgirl...

SHE GETS REALLY BRISTLEY WHEN SHE'S MAD

HE'S NOT A TWINK AND IT'S WEIRD. Not even a twunk???

Martellus is

So fucking ODD for a catboy

Like it HAPPENS but it means that human women are more likely to find him attractive than catgirls (and even that's a bit of a long shot on the basis of personality).

(Gil excused from the catboys-are-twink-to-twunk rule on the basis of being half human, and his dad being Basically A Wall.)

That said, for Andy I’m gonna go with "buff as fuck but sooooooo charismatic that all the catgirls, and human girls, flocked to him anyway."

So that’s at least two Bara catboys in this AU

Tarvek is canonically more or less the same size/shape as Gil, but... in my heart, Tarvek’s a twunk. He’s got muscle but he's not AS big, and he's got intense Twink energy, especially since Tarvek actually is queer.

(And they're both straight so they're not even technically bara, just Buff.)

(Not twinks either but...)

(Twink is a fun word.)

Colette is human and Seffie isn't but they'd need science for babies ANYWAY so who cares? It's a lot of Seffie laying her head in Colette's lap and purring as she falls asleep because Colette just keeps petting her.

Catboy Martellus still makes sparkhound shapeshifters. He's a catperson...  but he's still a Dog Person.

Martellus and his dynamic with the sparkhounds:

He loves them, they love him. But they’re embarrassing sometimes.

THIS MARKS THE BEGINNING OF THE NSFW CONTENT

ANYWAY back to the point, which is that a lot of these catperson AUs are just... really super horny.

Which is valid.

Ears are technically erogenous zones for everyone but for the cat people... it's a Lot. It's also not like. Inherently sexual? But it can be. Like spooning. It feels nice ALWAYS but with the right person it's also HORNY.  Or like brushing someone else's hair. 

Ear rubs and headpats that result in like, intense sensation? Good actually.

Also I’m declaring that catpeople have heats. Or at least like. Heightened mating seasons? Extra horny times.

So you have Agatha and Lars normal, Gil kinda horny and confused, and Tarvek rubbing himself against the nearest spouse in hopes that someone's going to fuck the living daylights out of him.

Valois probably take suppressing things as a matter of course bc it’s hard to stay alert to assassination attempts when overwhelmingly horny. When Tarvek deliberately forgoes them eventually, everyone is touched by how much trust it shows.

Without suppressants, the horny is either something you can cope with or something that is intense but comes in Very brief periods. Either one day a month, or a week twice a year? Something like that.

Honestly though, imagine if Gil tried to hide being a catperson for the sake of the Empire or some nonsense, and had to just suffer when in heat?

Agatha likes to watch the boys go at it because there's something about Fangs On Neck that's super pleasurable for cat people and she can't provide that for Tarvek but Gil certainly can.

Bonding marks aren't a thing but possessive biting is.

(Since birth control is so easily accessed in GG, I feel like Lu’s opinion of catboys would be a super gross objectifying thing.)

(Which. Yeah.)

(Lucrezia basically has that opinion on any man in canon that isn’t immediately useful to her for science reasons.)

[sultrysweet]

Supercat - "Are you stupid or stupid?" (Pretty please?)

Are you stupid or stupid? x

Kara almost crash landed on her couch after her latest rescue with soot from the house fire smudged across her forehead, cheeks, and even a knuckle-sized swipe across her chin. Too drained to shower before she stretched out on the cushions, she at least had enough energy to speed change into her gray-sleeved baseball tee and pastel pink shorts that did little to cover much of anything. She opened the rarely used Postmates app on her phone a minute later when someone knocked on her door.

With a sigh, she stood up and tossed her phone on the couch. She trudged toward the unknown visitor and didn’t think to use her x-ray vision, or to even check the peephole, before she yanked the door wide open. 

Expecting anyone else, Kara rested her head against the doorframe and stared disinterestedly at the person in the hallway until her nose caught the scent of pizza. Her unfocused eyes looked down at the set of stacked boxes and widened. She noticed a familiar cross section ring with a green stone tip against the side of the warm boxes right when an even more familiar voice startled her into a more alert state of mind.

“Feel free to take them off my hands any time now.”

“Ms. Grant!” Kara pushed herself away from the door and stood at attention as though her former boss was a drill sergeant. Kara only added to that impression when she grabbed the pizza from Cat without having to be told, as soon as the older woman’s words finally registered. “You’re here! Why are you here?”

“Does it matter?” The former CEO cocked her hip and rested her ring-bearing hand on it while she gave Kara one of her infamous looks that some people might see as an open invitation to challenge the woman. Some people would be wrong.

Kara stared at Cat for a long enough moment of inactivity that it must have felt like a challenge all the same, if Cat rolling her eyes was any indication.

“Fine, someone sent a little birdie to me in D.C. and, now that I know the multiverse has collapsed into...whatever the hell this timeline is, I thought I’d thank you for saving the world. Again.” Cat breezed by her as she walked into the apartment without invitation. “Not to mention that fact that you won your first Pulitzer, which I sadly couldn’t see you receive in person, and I’m sure you haven’t had much of a chance to bask in the glory of that accomplishment.”

Kara stuttered as she turned and watched Cat stroll through her apartment like she owned the place. Knowing what Cat Grant was worth, even after selling CatCo, Kara didn’t dismiss the idea that the other woman could easily own the entire building.

“So, are you going to offer me anything to drink to go along with that pizza?” Cat settled in one of the bar stools at the kitchen island and then squinted at the refrigerator. “Do you even have anything to drink?”

Kara frowned. The usual judgment in Cat’s voice kickstarted higher brain function and led her to close the door and the space between them. “Yes, I have things to drink. And I don’t know what bird would have told you about...the multiverse…” She trailed off as she pieced together a possible, though still unlikely, situation that explained how Cat knew anything about the Vanishing Point. 

“Are you with me yet, Supergirl?”

Kara only stopped staring at the dimly lit kitchen backsplash when she felt the pizza slip out of her grasp. She jolted forward in an attempt to catch the boxes before she could drop any of the food only to nearly push the boxes out of Cat’s hands as the woman guided them onto the counter. “Sorry,” she muttered when she realized her mistake.

“That answers my question.”

“Sorry,” Kara said a little louder, and even managed to make eye contact with the other woman. “It’s been a long day.”

“The grime on your face suggested as much.”

“What?” Kara raised a hand to her cheek with the same urgency as though Cat had pointed out she’d shown up to work in her underwear. “Oh, there was a fire. Wait, go back to how exactly you know about the multiverse. Former multiverse.”

Cat sighed and popped open the top pizza box. “Agent Mulder paid me a visit two days ago and pulled a very E.B.E. move with a finger to my temple.”

“Uh, e-b-what?”

“Extraterrestrial biological entity. Have you never seen The X-Files?” The question came out like an accusation, another judgment, but Cat waved her hand and then pulled a slice of sausage and pepperoni pizza from the box. “Anyway, he zapped me with the knowledge of a world that no longer exists and I was faced with the new reality that Lex Luthor is worshipped instead of reviled, but that wasn’t even the most upsetting thing about all the new memories I gained, or that he unlocked. I’m still not entirely sure how that mind-meld thing works. Although, if you could get him to explain it to me—”

“What,” Kara interrupted with a sharper than intended tone and relaxed a little, “was the most upsetting part?”

“If you or your friend are worried that I’m only interested in knowing how or what he did just to write an expose on it, don’t forget that all my journalistic drive comes from  natural curiosity first and foremost.”

“Cat.”

Another sigh and then, “The most upsetting part was that I could have gone another handful months or even years wrongly believing everything about this new Earth because you were never going to tell me yourself.”

“What?” Kara gripped the edge of the counter and stared wide-eyed at Cat as she gave the woman her full attention. 

“And the only reason I can think that you’d do that is because you still weren’t ready to tell me who you are.”

“Who I…? What?” Kara shook her head as if to a clear dense fog in her brain that prevented her from understanding, or more accurately believing, Cat’s words.

“I know that it’s mostly my fault that you feel you can’t trust me. When I found out the first time, I gave you an impossible ultimatum. I had no right to force that kind of decision on you because it’s your life, your powers, and you will always have control over what you do with them. But I also never stopped to consider that just because you have these abilities doesn’t mean you wouldn’t need to feed, cloth, and house yourself like anyone else living in this world. Pushing you out of a job with me would have only left you to find a paying one somewhere else because I’m sure that government agency you work with doesn’t subsidize their alien associates.”

“Well, there is a great medical plan,” Kara said without thinking. She clapped a hand over her mouth less than a second later.

Cat grinned, never one to miss the opportunity to gloat. “I shouldn't have done that, but I still wish you’d at least told me before your friend hit me with his best shot.”

Kara resisted the urge to chuckle and said, “It’s not that I don’t trust you. I had way more reservations about telling Lena than I ever had about you, and it’s not like you’re going to pretend to still be my friend just to learn about any of my weaknesses to use against me later. Wait, you’re not going to do that. Are you?”

“No! Kar-” Cat sighed and slid off the stool. “I know I forced you to out yourself to me before, but I confronted you about it. I didn’t hide, I didn’t pretend, and I never once went public with anything I’d found; even before you pulled the Houdini act with your stunt double.”

“Um.” Kara did laugh that time and felt her cheeks warm ever so slightly. “That was J’onn. The man who gave you memories of the original timeline, that was him.”

“A shapeshifter. That’s...well.” Before Cat lost herself to critical thinking, she said, “My point is, why would you think I’d do something like that?”

Kara winced. “Because it’s what Lena did.”

Cat balked. “Lena as in Lena Luthor? The woman who tried to mass produce a device that identifies aliens and would coincide with the Alien Registry that’s basically a pre-imposed rap sheet on any non-human and perpetuates profiling? The woman who bought my company just to give it away to that sensationalist who prefers clickbait to actual journalism less than a year later?”

“Uh, yeah?”

Cat shook her head. She took a deep breath and her shoulders rose toward her ears with the movement. Her body remained tense, even when Cat unleashed her newfound anger. “Are you stupid or...stupid?”

Kara stepped back like Cat’s words had lanced her.

“Great.” Cat huffed. “Now that I’ve dumbed down my speech to what would pass as good grammar with your latest boss, I’d say this trip has been more frustrating than I thought.”

“I’m...sorry?”

“I can’t believe you told her of all people. Forgetting the fact that she carries the Luthor name, which I know doesn’t automatically make her like the rest of that family, she’s done nothing to prove herself worthy of your trust.”

“Nothing? She was my friend!”

“A friend with a skewed moral compass that never favors you.”

Kara scoffed. “At least she was here! She helped me figure out what I wanted to do with that open-ended promotion you gave me. And then, even as a lowly cub reporter, she still took my calls and scheduled meetings. But then she also sat with me, shared working dinners with me, and talked to me. She was my friend. And now she’s an adversary.”

Kara hadn’t felt the tears form or fall, but she felt Cat wipe them away and close the small gap between them. 

“Kara.” Cat breathed her name like a prayer. “I’m sorry for what you lost.”

Kara sucked in a deep, watery breath and fell into Cat. She wrapped her arms around the smaller woman while more tears streamed down her cheeks and dampened Cat’s hair where Kara buried her face in the Queen of All Media’s neck.

“Thank you,” Kara said, her words muffled against Cat. “You don’t even know the half of it, either.”

“What do you mean?” Cat pulled away but kept her hands on Kara’s biceps. She even squeezed a little when Kara ducked her head toward her chest.

“Lena isn’t the only person I lost. Another friend of mine sacrificed himself for this new Earth.”

“Oh, Kara.” Cat stroked her thumb over Kara’s cheekbone a few times, the back and forth motion enough to draw more tears before Kara sniffled and lifted her head.

“I just keep thinking it has to stop, that I won’t have to lose anyone else. Or that I can at least get them back. I can’t get Oliver back, but at least she’s here. Lena’s alive and in National City and I tried. I tried to get back what we had, but she might as well have found new waters to swim in. Like you.”

Cat slid her hand from Kara’s face to her neck and grazed Kara’s jawline with her thumb. “I’m not sure what her or her brother’s plans are, but I can tell you about mine.”

Kara fisted Cat’s shirt where she continued to hold the woman at her waist and held the form-fitting, black V-neck tightly enough to tug the woman closer. Their noses nearly touched and one of Cat’s heeled feet stepped on Kara’s bare toes.

“Kara, I can’t promise you things will get easier with me around. I might actually make it worse some days, but—”

“But you’re staying?”

“If I’m not then I made a huge mistake buying out Andrea Rojas for my company two hours ago.”

Kara sucked in a breath as her lips curled into an unbidden smile. In the next breath, she eliminated the barely-there space between them and crashed their lips together. She clawed desperately at Cat’s shirt until the material stretched loose and Kara needed to feel more within her grasp. 

Cat moaned as Kara gripped the woman’s hips a short distance from where she’d previously clung to Cat’s shirt. Cat arched into Kara and her hungry touches. After several heated kisses, the Queen of All Media slid one hand down Kara’s arm and placed it over Kara’s while she moved her other hand to Kara’s sternum. With a light shove, she urged Kara away and pulled back from the kiss.

“Much as I’d love to continue this and explore everything those thighs of steel can do,” Cat said with a lingering stare at Kara’s tanned, toned legs, “I’m sure you worked up an appetite earlier and that pizza’s getting cold.”

“Let it.” Kara licked her lips while her eyes wandered over Cat’s form. “I’d rather skip to dessert.”

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

...& Steel for Humans (Geralt x fem!Witchress, Part 2.)

Series description: The Butcher of Blaviken has a long and famous past, thanks to his friend Jaskier. Yet, neither of those dies easily and it still lurks behind Geralt like a shadow after all those years. History, neither unfriendly relationships, doesn't die easily.

Part summary: After a talk with your old friend, there is one thing - a contract which is supposed to keep you rich for at least other ten years. But there are things you are not going to like about is. 

A/N: Honestly, Dijsktra is one of my favourite in-game characters and I sincerely hope that he will make an appearence in the Netflix series. That mf is so fun honestly.

Tagging: (tell me and I will add you :)) @osgon-azure​ @davnwillcome

Word count: 2.1 K

Master list: H E R E

To your good luck, Dijkstra was very clear with the place of his staying - that fat rat was hiding at the Novigradian Bathhouse. You never held anything against Dijkstra - he was being a dick? You told him. That man knew famous non-humans like Geralt and even legends upon men, like Vernon Roche or the Redenian King Radovid. And he didn't hesitate to shove those connections into other people's faces. And you were one of them at that point.

So naturally, it didn't mean anything good when Dijkstra not only contacted you but knew where you were staying at the time. Novigrad was just three days of a slow ride on your horse and you didn't have anywhere to rush. Dijkstra only informed you, very kindly you must've said, that he would like to speak to you once you reach the city walls. It was for an important matter of saving lives or what.

Yeah, you weren't over your heels because of his demand. But you stopped in front of the famous bathhouse two days after the whole werewolf situation with a cape in your face. It wouldn't be exactly clever to walk around one of the biggest cities of the Northern Kingdoms just showing your face to everyone around you. Novigrad was looking just as you remembered it - it was dirty, it stank, beggars were on every corner and elf prostitutes only. That was the thing you didn't like on Novigrad. You had to be either a demon of a shapeshifter to cover that you're a non-human or you had to be a prostitute to be a non-human living in this city.

The cult of Eternal Flame was going nuts there. One of the priests even noticed that cats were hissing at you and that dogs ran away when your warhorse was driving through the streets and tried to verbally insult you and on top of that, he was calling you a heretic and a sinner. Instead of pinning him to a wall with your sword as a warning, you scoffed at his words and continued to Passiflora where you turned left. Not too long after that, you were standing in front of the bathhouse.

A bald man took your house, saying his name is Happen, and lead it to the nearby stable so the people there would take care of the poor animal. It needed some proper rest and some clear water, you couldn't deny that you weren't able to give your horse this kind of comfort on your travels.

To be honest, from the first moment you stepped in, you knew that the bathhouse stank. You hated those lingering, sweet smells that usually settled on the tip of your nose. Bathhouses usually used these scents because the humans found it more relaxing. Yet it was like a catalyzer for your damn nose - that was maybe for the first time in the last years when you sneezed. And it was damn uncomfortable.

Finding Sigismund wasn't exactly challenging - that man couldn't be ignored with the bright colors he tended to wear and with the size of his body. One of his legs also wasn't exactly in the best shape, so the limbing was quite easy to recognize when he was on the moe. At least to witchress's ears, it was unique.

Once you entered his office, you could see him sitting behind a table, going through some papers. You were quiet, so it took him a while to notice a caped person standing in the corner of the room. His face lit up with a smile that wasn't soothing nor comforting; he looked like a dick if you had to be honest.

"It is always a pleasure to see old friends. Have a seat with me, come on." - He said when you took the hood off and your face and white hair could be finally seen. You snorted when you sat down, taking a few grapes without even asking Dijkstra a word. He was quickly pouring you some of the sweet wine he had on the table but both of you knew that your lips won't even touch the drink.

"We aren't friends, Dijkstra. And also, it is never a good sign when you can find me without too much of trying." - A short answer to his greeting could be heard while your eyes scanned the books in his bookcases. Law things, political archives, some of the Novigrad's biggest family chronicles, nothing too extraordinary or interesting. Yet the Gwent packs caught your eye, so you took the Northern Kingdoms deck and started to go through it, looking at the cards with interest.

"Well, it didn't take too much of an effort to figure out that a witcher is in the Mire West currently. People talk and news spread quickly, don't forget about that. Especially quickly when you know who to ask for details." - The man slowly leaned into the chair behind his back while you turned your attention back to him, eating the grapes slowly.

"You torture people, you don't ask for details, Sigismund, don't you try to make me laugh because I am not in the mood for jests. You're just as much of a bitch as I am." - You smiled ironically, being tired of his little welcoming games. - "What is it that you need? Don't tell me that I came all the fucking way to Novigrad from Mire West just to see your fucking handsome face. And lemme tell you, you are fucking ugly."

At that, Sigismund laughed and shook his head. You two couldn't be exactly considered friends since everybody knew that you don't like Sigismund one bit. That wasn't too hard to understand - Sigismund was a spy who couldn't be trusted. But you two couldn't be even called enemies, since most of the time, you both stood at one side of a case - if you ever decided to take a stand in anything political.

"I have a friend in need and I told her that I will try to ask you for a helping hand." - He looked you in the eyes. Sigismund had a job... For a witchress? With that, you rose your eyebrows and furrowed. - "She offers you a ridiculous amount of coin - for searching and killing the source. And also invites you for a damn dance and pays for your stay Novigrad, no matter which inn you'd name." - He told very seriously so you could understand that Dijkstra isn't in a mood for games either.

"Damn. That must be a real matter of life and death if they're putting so much coin into it. What is going on?" - You asked and stole another grape from the small silver plate, putting the deck back on its place. You liked the grapes, they were sweet. Dijkstra surely had to offer them in Passiflora, the whorehouse just a while from Saint Gregory's bridge.

"No-one knows. We only know that whatever the fuck it is, it breaks trees and rocks like small wooden sticks and that it cooks humans for dinner. We dunno much more than what I've told ya." - Dijkstra told you and your face got even sourer than before. This wasn't just some ordinary Vampire, nor a Fiend. - "It lives in the mountains east from Novigrad and the Vegelbuds are rather concerned with it. No matter what in the horse's ass it is, it already massacred two villages."

Again, you pushed yourself more into the plushy chair Dijkstra had offered you. This wasn't a matter you could laugh at. Whether you liked it or not, it was more than fucking serious. Women and children were killed, men could be eaten or stomped to death.

"Bullshit. There ain't no monster who can destroy a whole damn village just because it wants to in Redenia. There ain't one like that on the whole Continent. Before you jump in with Fiends, they are too lazy for any that." - You started slowly and put a strand of your hair behind your ears.

"Dijkstra, honestly, I ain't a dumb bitch. You're the mediator between me and the Veganbrods or what the fuck is their name and I know that you'll have a lot of money from this. But no witcher, squirrel, or human will take this fucking job. This ain't a job. This is suicide." - You said, looking him in the eyes.

"Oh, Y/N, I just love how honest you can be with me. This ain't a one-man job, of course. We already have some... Takers who are gladly willing to accompany you." - Dijkstra said in a solid-sure tone.

"If it's Letho of the Viper school, tell him to fuck off right away. I hope it's not a sorceress either, I can't stand these bitches either. Lambert would be a nice company, tho and I wouldn't mind me an Eskel either." - You said honestly with a small smile. Yeah. You knew how did your witcher brothers work on their contracts, you knew you would get along with them and if there would be anything that would go bad, they would have your back.

You liked Lambert the most of all the witchers you knew - it didn't matter if they were from your school or the Griffin school or the Vipers, you just liked Lambert the most. There were rumors that you and he had some kind of a relationship - whether it had ended up or was going on. And any of that wasn't confirmed either denied by any of you. When people asked you, you both just smiled and changed the subject.

"It's not Lambert, unfortunately, but it is someone you know, which is some good fucking news. And it is someone you don't like, I have to say - one of them sings all the fucking time and the other one is a grumpy moron who had fucked up my leg. But don't think about that. Business is business, darling, it's not about liking someone. It's about money and surviving the fucking trip to the mountains." - Dijkstra looked you right in the eyes. You sat there in silence, watching the man with a dead serious face.

Of course. Of fucking course. Your partner for the trip, who you had to believe with all your will power, the partner who was supposed to be someone you should be able to trust with whole life, that man was supposed to be the white-haired moron. And his possibly gay friend. You looked at Dijkstra, having that daring look on your face.

"I can still say no, you ugly bastard." - You said honestly. At that, the idiot sitting opposite of you started laughing.

"No-one denies your right to deny - only your financial state and the reputation you have around Novigrad and other big cities now. Tell me, Y/N, you and the other witchers have some kind of a competition which should determine who is the worst person of you all?" - Dijkstra asked, having you speechless for a moment. - "Because according to my people, you have the leading position now. The incident with Stjepan got pretty known here over the last few days. And I know you like to keep your honor clean."

"I had never hurt a woman or a child. And that's it." - Was the sentence you said coldly as ice.

"People heard otherwise. Almost dragging the children out of the bed, abducting them so you can bring them to your witcher school as payment and all of that came with your promise of the next generation of witchresses... Oh Y/N, you know that one small rumor can completely ruin your business, huh?" - He leaned in, closer to you, watching your reactions. You hated Sigismund but there was one thing that needed to be said - he was a damn good businessman.

Why did that hiding rat want you to take the contract? You had no idea. But even though you didn't want it for some reason, he knew how to make you take it.

So it was said and done - you were supposed to travel to the mountain alongside Geralt of Rivia and his small musician puppy Julian. But not before a grand ball held at the Vegelbud family residence three hours away from Novigrad. Which, on the other side, you were excited about.

[bygosscarmine]

LOVE SHIFTS SHAPE

Sky High: Magenta x Ethan, post-canon

a multi-chapter reunion story, in continuity with Love, Unspoken

Magenta is dreading the reunion in a mild “I’m in a successful band that has nothing to do with my powers” sort of a way, but she looks forward to seeing the friends she’s kept up with at the party.

Then, for a second she doesn’t recognize Ethan in his adult form, and things long forgotten (like her break-up with Zach) feel all too relevant again.

Read Chapter One here.

Read Chapter Two here.

Read Chapter Three here.

Chapter Four: With Friends Like These?

In the morning she woke to a few messages from Layla, and a series from Ethan. She read Layla's first. One was reassuring her that the doctors thought Warren would be fine, but getting him released would take some time in the morning. The next said Magenta didn't need to bring her anything.

Don't be ridic, Magenta texted back. I want to see you, and I leave this afternoon.

She did not open the texts from Ethan, not particularly won over by the preview she saw of the latest one. She dressed, packed, checked out, and went to the best coffee place in the hospital's vicinity, picking up three coffees in various styles for herself, Layla, and Warren, as well as some baked goods.

She turned down the hallway she thought held Warren's room, then all doubt disappeared.

"You didn't read my texts," Ethan said, by way of explanation.

"I came to see Layla," Magenta said, outraged.

"She's busy checking Warren out right now. Come on, I have to talk to you."

He looked tense. Magenta rolled her eyes, but she knew she'd do what he asked.

"Let me get the coffee to her. Is she in the lobby now?"

"They both are."

"Warren looking OK this morning?"

He turned back with her, said, "Yeah, if you like that kind of thing."

The elevator doors closed around them, and Ethan took up a spot leaning against the wall so he faced her.

"You know how I said we sometimes revert around people we knew at a different time in life?"

"Yeah," she said, refusing to make eye-contact.

"I'm guilty. I did something dumb last night, because I reverted to a seventeen year old prick."

"Please don't tell me anything about your fight with your girlfriend until we are off this elevator and I have given this stuff to Layla."

He obliged by staying silent, putting his back to the elevator wall instead of turning toward her. This meant she could look at him out of the corner of her eye. He was in another suit, though this was a neutral gray with a plain white shirt. He filled it well, and she suspected it was tailored the way her band got their tour clothes done. His hair still had the same curl but his haircut was sharp--shaved close at the sides of his head, a quarter-inch length at the top shaped neatly.

She remembered the anger he'd slipped into revealing the night before, about being a person of power that had no heroic applications, what he said about compensating.

"I don't think we need to hide behind anything anymore," said Magenta. "We've done more than many people do, whether they have powers or not. And if you ever need a subject with a weirdly lame shapeshifting ability, you know who to call."

He looked at her sharply, but didn't answer. The elevator opened at their floor.

Layla was easy to find in the scatter of the clerks, after which Magenta spotted Warren sprawled only a little too stiffly on a chair close by.

"Have some coffee," Magenta said, trying to sound casual. "I'll be hanging around when you're done."

"Thanks," Ethan said to Layla, mysteriously.

Then he led Magenta to a somewhat sad landscaped area with a bench. Magenta plopped onto it and with a dramatic sigh opened her texts. "Okay, what did you have to say so late last night while you were..."

He stood just an arms-length, at attention, almost as she read:

I was a little startled about you

tonight I mean

I mouthed off like a stupid teenager and now I have to backtrack

stop being difficult and call me

She looked up.

"What startled you?" She felt immediately like she didn't want to know, and added, "The fact that I was wearing jeans without holes in them?"

Ethan ignored this bait, though.

"I thought I was over it. We were gonna say hi, and it would be just like messaging you through the game, where you're some ambiguous memory of a teenager, just slightly less moody. That we'd hit it off talking about Call of Sacrifice and stupid bets on speed-runs. And then it wasn't like that."

Warily, Magenta said, "I mean, we could talk about games now, if you want. I'm back in a baggy tee shirt, if the silk blouse was bothering you."

"It still is bothering me," Ethan said. Now they were looking at each other, he sat on the bench, getting intimidatingly close. "I saw you go through a moment of not recognizing me, too. Then I got mad when you asked me over, because I couldn't help remembering the last time I asked you out. Do you even remember?"

Her face got hot.

She had just broken up with Zack, and Ethan had come over to play X-Box. He'd casually said, "I'd take you out," when she'd made some bitter comment about Friday nights (as if she and Zach had done anything interesting on Friday nights), and she'd laughed.

It had taken her a few weeks to realize that there was a correlation between that and the way Ethan had slowly tapered off coming by her place, and sitting with her at lunch.

"Wow, you can hold a grudge, huh?"

"I can hold a crush, more like." He tilted his head to look at her, as if assessing. "I was embarrassed you'd ask me over just like that, when I spent two years trying to be not in love with you. I figured maybe it was an innocent invitation. Then we were in that waiting room last night, and I didn't really care, either way, but I had dug myself a hole with a fake girlfriend I had to get home to."

Magenta dropped her eyes down to her hands, unable to handle the intensity of his look. "I still leave town this afternoon," she said.

"And you go home where you can install Call of Sacrifice, finally," he said. He leaned in close, and said softly, "Where they have a voice-chat feature now."

She shivered, but when he moved toward her, she didn't draw back. This hug wasn't awkward, because if she buried her face in his collar to smell his restrained sandalwood cologne, it wasn't creepy anymore.

"You have your revenge," she finally said. "You grew up sexy, and I didn't notice over text-chat."

"Don't make me kiss you senseless in a hospital garden," he murmured, lightly brushing his lips on her temple. "When is your flight today?"

"It's not until 4:30."

He pulled back, and she stood up, finding he was holding her hand. Was reluctant to make him let go.

He got a text message, and looked at it. "Oh. Layla is hinting that they're about to leave the hospital."

Magenta told him, "I am going to spend some time with her."

He let go of her hand, and stood, too. "Then I'm going to go check in at the university, and I'll see you later."

She didn't like this practical attitude at the moment at all, so she put her hands up to draw his face close and gently kiss him.

The small breath he puffed out when their lips stopped touching told her what she needed to know.

"Am I going to meet you at the university or at your place?"

He considered this a moment, eyeing her speculatively.

"By which I mean, are we going to talk for two hours somewhere quiet, or are we going to cuddle and shoot aliens before you take me to the airport?"

"There is zero chance you can keep me from talking anyway, so let's shoot some aliens while we're at it."

If Warren and Layla noticed them walking a little too close to each other as they rejoined them, they didn't mention it.

After depositing Warren at home, Magenta took Layla to the pharmacy to fill his prescriptions and listened to her vent about her worries about Warren, her regret at missing the reunion, and how much she liked The Wastelanders' newest album. Only once they were in the backyard garden, with Warren napping in the house, did Layla finally say, "So, Ethan, huh?"

"What about him?" Magenta asked.

Layla rolled her eyes. "You two have only been the most annoying non-couple I know for seven years now."

"I was dating Zach six years ago," Magenta protested.

"So?" Layla said. "Even Ethan, the completely clueless, knew that wasn't going to last."

"Poor Zack might be the only one who didn't," sighed Magenta. "I had no idea about Ethan, though. I mean, about him now. I literally didn't recognize him for a second."

"Yeah," Layla got a cat-like grin on her face. "He's been getting finer and finer. Someone really needs to stop him."

"Back off, you already have a boyfriend," said Magenta, amiably.

"Oh, Warr is way sexier than Ethan. But he's never going to be suave like him."

"He was really good with you last night," said Magenta, "I was surprised. Where did he get social skills? I still haven't found any."

Layla laughed. "So what's next?"

"We're meeting up this afternoon." Magenta's attempt at casual was almost as transparent as Layla's skin.

"Is it going to be hot and heavy, do you think?" Layla was blushing slightly, though that didn't mean much. The hibiscus behind her also seemed to bloom a little more furiously, though that could have just been because Layla was there. "Or are you going to take it slow?"

"I honestly can't say," Magenta answered. "We left it kind of open. The theory is some video games and some necking. It's very weird, but also a relief."

Layla nodded sagely. She glanced at the house and said, "By the time Warren and I worked it out we had a lot of tension built up. But we hadn't been long distance, either."

After a thoughtful pause, she asked, "Why not delay your flight?"

"Because then I'd have to go visit my mother. And while visiting her with a boyfriend finally would thrill her, especially since he's genetically a super, I probably want to be more sure of the whole thing before I give her that string to clutch."

"I heard she did a job despite her retirement recently. Did she talk to you about it?"

"Not as much as Will Stronghold's Facebook page did," Magenta said drily. "Is he who you heard about it from?"

"No, I don't follow him on Facebook," said Layla, quite seriously. "My mom was telling me about it. She occasionally has a desire for a last fling. But I'm not surprised Will was starstruck."

Majesty Notani's mother was Radiance Arete, who shape-shifted into a hawk, and had the distinction of being the first female super honored with her own Saturday morning cartoon run. She occasionally brought this up when Jetstream Stronghold was being praised too highly in her own home. It was funny to think of a similar dynamic playing out in a different house.

Talk about parents and glory days and the inevitable comparisons filled the next hour until Warren woke up and tried to make himself nachos, which required intervention from his partner. Magenta wished him well not getting killed by his own girlfriend, and went out to her car.

She texted Ethan, as if replying to his last text.

Am I being difficult if I say it's time to send me your address?

He wrote back, Come and ask me in person and included his apartment location.

[tumblunni]

Ehh I mostly Really do not like what they did with marvel Loki, and then the movie version in particular. I’ve heard that the recent threequel kinda hits the reset button on the entire thing and reestablishes him and like he actually has a decent brotherly relationship and gets redeemed now?? So like woo! I’m happy for you! EVen if i’m still mostly not interested in this character!

BUT ANYWAY SORRY WHAT WAS I ORIGINALLY MAKING THIS POST ABOUT WHUPS

What i mean is im not particularly interested in marvel loki in any way, but i always thought his movie plot was a really interesting and sad idea. That they TOTALLY WASTED! tho really it’d be wasted even if they pulled it off perfectly cos i still could not get over the general dissonance of ‘wtf loki wasnt his brother he was like twice his age and knew his dad before he was born, and also he was never half anything and always knew he was a jotunn’. Srsly its fuckin weird that in mythology he never had any magic excuse for working with the aesir, he just.. decided to. And he was good. he was one of the good guys. he turned bad later and he was always a morally nebulous comedic trickster man but he was never fuckin... im only here cos i was raised as a human guy. and also im somehow younger than my best friend’s son who was kinda my nephew i guess. srsly he just.. was a giant who.. chose to switch sides. its not a hard plot to do. why did they even feel they had to change that... tho also incidentally historically jotunn didnt mean giant, it was more like ‘chaos spirit’ in practise. loki being like a 4 foot tall angry gremlin wasnt particularly unusual in the mythos so its funny how out of place he is in the marvelverse actually. and also they weren’t all ice but had fire and ice as basically races or countries, and loki was never really stated which one he was, or if he was some sort of neutral aligned one or there were other elemental types that just never got a starring role in any particular story. or in some interpretations the vanir are considered to perhaps be a form of elemental god too, though that’s just an attempt to nail down how exactly they were meant to be different from aesir. Though there are some textbooks that describe loki’s name as coming from fire, that was actually brought up in-universe during one of his adventures where he fought an evil clone of himself named logi, which is the one that actually means fire. and also there was utgard-loki who was an entirely unrelated rival of his, apparantly just because they had the same name and he was pissed about it? anyway other-loki tricked loki into fighting logi who was actually a magic clone made from wildfire, who was by definition unbeatable in eating contests cos fire consumes everything. Also thor had to outdrink a magical ocean guy and got his ass kicked by a grandma that was actually death in disguise and somehow ‘nobody can fight death’ quite literally meant she was a master of suplexes. Also a cat. A cat was there. And they slept in a giant glove. It was a fun myth cos for once thor and loki got their asses kicked and it was kind of a moral about pride and stuff. Damn that other-loki and his gary oak role in my loki life..!!

SORRY SORRY IM GOING OFFTOPIC AGAIN sorry, mythology stuff was kinda my special interest as a kid and i got stupidly pissy about ‘innacuracy’ in something that wasn’t even claiming to be an adaptation, more of a ‘vaguely inspired by the thing’ I guess...

anyway WHAT I ORIGINALLY MEANT LOL is that ‘he never knew he was a monster thing and was raised as a human and got super sad when he found out’ is wildly innacurate and OOC to fuckin everything about this proud-as-fuck magic man who walked around being Aggressively Gay And Trans Erryday and calling odin out on his shit even when he knew he was gonna get his ass kicked. srsly loki never being able to stop being Happy About Himself is kinda what started his actual turn to evil in the myths, he got drunk and couldnt stop telling crude sex jokes and making up dumb rumours about how he was better than all the gods and banged all their wives and also their wives’s husbands btw. And odin was like Hey That Was Even More Loki Than Usual and murdered all loki’s children and locked him in the centre of the earth having his eyes constantly melted out with acid and regrowing and also a snake was eating him and also he was pinned with his dead son’s own guts as chains and also lets punish the wife who wasnt even there and tie her up too forever hugging her screaming hubby and trying to hold the acid out of his eyes with a comically small cup and her increasingly scarred skeleton hands. Because he was rude at a party. Then loki turned evil when he finally escaped and Hey I Think He Might Have Had One Or Two Reasons. Mythology is kinda fucked up sometimes, lol!

... ANYWAY WHERE WAS I, SORRY

loki being a lil emo teen dude who’s sad cos o no i am a monster and my dad never loved me = innacurate, and less interesting than many very interesting things of these myths that i wish they did instead

BUT

if it wasnt a weird attempt to change an already good story then it would be a good story yo!

like srsly there were a lot of particular elements to it that were really distinctive visually and i can see why they ended up being way more popular in fanart even if they were practically never shown again. It was a good idea to give the jotunn more of a distinct physical appearance from the Big Ol Protagonist Gods Of Generic Humanness, that like the one thing they made more accurate than the comics! And the funky blue look is really cool cos its like a fantasy equivelant of aliens, and like.. a cool lookin deep blue that isnt quite the cliche you’d expect for ice guys. And it looks nice with glowy red eyes and those weird patterns like theyre born with tattoos or somethin! And it was an interesting change from the comics to NOT have loki be a half jotunn or anything, he was just a regular jotunn orphan who was ambiguously either spared by odin as the last survivor of the war or stolen away from his real family as some sort of messed up trophy. But just like I Guess They’re Celtic Mythology Changelings Too so he magically ended up looking like a human cos he thought he was one? Which fits pretty cool with his particular magic powers being illusion-based, even though everybody else is all ice guys. (which is funnily enough also myth accurate to how NO OTHER JOTUNNS EVER SEEM TO SHAPESHIFT, GEEZ. srsly its not clear whether its some loki unique power or just a big ol plot hole XD)

And then it added a really cool visual aspect to have basically this guy who was under a glamour his entire life and didnt know it, and gets a really kinda existentially horrifying moment of finding out his face isnt his face?? srsly that was so messed up! you’re standing there and you know this is The Poorly Explained McGuffin That Somehow Powers Up Jotunns I Guess and you’re “dad this is your last chance to stop lying” and HE CONTINUES TO LIE ANYWAY but then whoops u touched the thing and I Guess You Really Was Monsters Poor guy...

BUT THEN MY PONT IS LIKE its so wasted!!! none of that really comes up again after that scene!! and we arent supposed to be sympathetic to loki and he’s just the bad guy and all we get is a twist that he did all his bad guy stuff with the unexpected motive of actually NOT betraying his father but just leading the jotunns to take over asgard and then killing them all and somehow faking being a hero so everyone would accept him back, even though nobody except the dad even knew he was a jotunn and indicated they were gonna kick him out and also why did you suddenly want to murder your brother out of a poorly established jealousy you apparantly always had yet also you still love him and just... uhh?? how was any of this plot meant to work out, dude. Srsly I am SO glad to hear they made his characterization more consistant in the sequels but i really hated the first movie so much i’ll probably never watch them lol. and did we really need to wait like half a decade to get some proper sibling dynamic? im so grossed out by how all the fans of the first movie shipped them and pulled that weird ‘not blood related’ excuse...

WHOOPS IM RAMBLING AGAIN

anyway it sucks that: * we never get to see Cool Blue Monster Loki Design ever again in the film * he’s suddenly evil and does a bunch of shit that doesnt even make sense given the motivation of Sad Because Monster Lies * we dont even get any emotional continuation or conclusion on that one big sad reveal scene that looked like it had so much plot potential * ALL THE JOTUNNS ARE JUST EVIL. At the same time that the film tries to make a moral about loki being bad for wanting to kill them all EVEN THOUGH THATS WHAT THOR DID AT THE BEGINNING * srsly the film starts off with thor being a huge jerk and then he doesnt become more sympathetic until way after loki suddenly turned unsympathetic so we have this void in the middle where we cant root for anyone. and it makes you wonder why they even bothered with SUCH a powerful sympathetic scene for this poor dude! * all the jotunns are evil and just agree to murder all of valhalla for no reason and also none of them even talk except Biological Dad Man, who is also super super evil and doesnt love loki cos Hey We Cant Have Any Complexity Here * also they mixed up the names and called him by myth loki’s mom’s name which I suppose could work if this was the same character who transitioned or something, but this was at a point back when marvel tried to cover up all references to genderfluidity being a literal superpower of loki’s. also they didnt show him having a mum at all and all the female characters were kinda poorly handled so yeah. * loki for no fuckin reason stays loyal to odin even though he just learned he was kidnapped as a kid and has been raised to want to kill his own home village like seriously what the fuck * last minute out of nowhere backstabbing of personalityless evil jotunn dad and yknow.. like the million bazillion jotunns who were all (as far as we know) super happy to have their presumed dead prince come back and perfectly nice to him as a family. like seriously could you not have at least established that they were jerks to him in.. some way? WE SAW SO MUCH OF ODIN BEING A TERRIBLE DAD UNTIL NOW. And he was supposed to be sympathetic! and his last scene up until now was being called out on lying to his adopted son for a bazillion years and the question of his goddamn motives was left wide open so we dont KNOW if he was sympathetic or not, geez! if you cant bother to establish why loki should side with odin then at least establish why he should want to murder his entire biological family right after they ACCEPTED HIM INTO THEIR HOME. They were shown being evil in that they wanted to invade asgard, yeh, but also your protagonist’s main goddamn struggle is about wanting to invade jotunheim and like apparrantly everyone’s being doing this for a bazillion years and there’s not even the slightest hint who started the damn war in the first place... * Don’t kill jotunns thats bad, loki is bad for doing that. But also all jotunns are bad and we can kill them anyway cos they invaded first. Yknow.. due to loki tricking them specifically to kill them. And them believing him cos he’s Kinda The King’s Presumed Dead Son And Seriously Why Does Nobody Talk One Way Another About Whether They’re Happy Or Not That He’s Back * did loki and incorrectly named king guy even have a single sentence together that wasn’t ‘mwahaha we shall Plot Device to Evil Invade’? not like five seconds of ‘fuck i missed my son’ or ‘its awkward to bond again with a son that grew up without me’ or even ‘what was it like to be trapped with our mortal enemies that we all assume are evil and kidnapped you’  * LIKE ACTUALLY WHY WAS THAT NEVER BROUGHT UP? the jotuns didnt fuckin know that loki got adopted by a guy and raised as a human! did any of this make sense from their perspective?? were they not even slightly suspicious when he didnt tell them where he’d been for all those years and also spent all his screentime staying in human form and never showing off that cool special effect evr again?? didnt anyone think maybe he was just an asgardian lying to them? and did nobody recognise him as the son of their mortal enemy and think that was a way bigger reason he might be lying, or even a reason not to trust him even if he was indeed a jotunn with an identity complex...? or hell, did he NOT EVEN TELL THEM HIS BIG BACKSTORY MOTIVE??? did they just think Hey Some Random Asgardian Wants To Betray His Own Kind, That’s Not Suspicious In Any Way? i mean at least that would explain about why Dad 2; The Redaddening literally never mentioned being his damn dad or showed any emotion except Generic Evil... * Anyway none of this matters cos we killed all the jotunns in a justified way even though killing the jotunns is why loki is the bad guy, and then we do some sort of magical segregation power to cut off the path between the worlds so like.. the 5% of not dead guys over there can never appear again and we can have some sort of weird sense of moral high ground. Also loki falls off a cliff and dies, but obviously its a fakeout for the sequel, The End

THINGS THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN REALLY COOL TO DO WITH THIS PLOT INSTEAD MAYBE: * like fffuckign show goddamn Loki Real if you bothered to invent a new design for the jotunns looking not like humans in the first place... * hey actually explore the kind of existential horror stuff of finding out your preconceived notions about some other realm’s citizens being Inherantly Evil Monsters are all wrong and also you were one of them all along * also like.. actually commit to the plot of them NOT being Inherantly Evil Monsters. like seriously i guess loki was the only not bad one cos he was raised as an asgardian?? and then he immediately switches sides as soon as his orignal nature is revealed, so i guess not. >_> * like man there’s fifty bazillion ways you could have handled trying to stop a war between two sides where neither is evil, and like seriously the dude who’s part of both works could have been the symbol of peace who did that... * also minor note but why is every other jotunn identical and never speaks except loki and Evildad Plotdevice, thats really fuckin stupid * srsly imagine if they had any form of established culture or civilization or anything instead of just Standing In A Field, Being Vaguely Menacing, With No Houses Even Nearby. like srsly their whole world is just generic jrpg dungeon tundras i guess... * imagine all the plots that could come from Not Villain Plot Loki getting to go visit this other country of the monster folks and get a first hand experience on how the citizens live and how they’re not just all enemy soldiers with no damn personality or motive beyond Bad Hatewrong The Anger Things. imagine the fuckin complex plot sads that could come from if he was actually WELCOMED by his birth family and had a dad that had been mourning him for like thirty fuckin years and just wanted to keep him happy and safe. You could have eighty more angsts if the plot of those angsts is Oh Fuck I Was So Wrong About These People And Stood By And Supported This War That Was Killing Them, And Am I A Bad Person Because I Only Found Sympathy For Them After Discovering A Blood Relation? * and like you could still have bad guys, you could have bad guys on both sides who are perpetuating the war and both have to be stopped so this peace can happen. And you can have not bad guys who were suckered in by war propeganda into working for these bad guys, and you have to try and make them reach the same realization that poor loki had forced upon him. * and like.. what if they did explore that one weird throwaway line about not knowing if odin’s motives were sympathy for the last survivor of a massacre, or a desire to steal a kid as a trophy of that same massacre? like maybe odin actually was a war hungry monster back then and his intentions were cruel in kidnapping this kid, but he realized what a horrible mistake he’d been making with his life when he began to see the kid grow up and have just as much of a complexity of emotion and potential for goodness as any of his own people. And the reason he never told loki his past was not because of Plot Device but because of shame for his original motives in this whole sad affair, and guilt in feeling that he could never undo what happened. like ‘oh god maybe the boy will be happier if he never knows he had all the stuff he lost because of me’. And thats also why he could seem distant like he doesnt love him, its feeling like he doesnt deserve to experience this kid’s love after he’s coe to realize the true atrocity of what he did to him.. * and also i dunno maybe the two dads could get At Least One Scene of Actually Talking Together and resolve some damn things... * could even be sad if odin like.. wants biological-dad to kill him so he can atone for his sins, and loki goes bursting in at the last second like WAIT NO ITS A TRAP HE’S TRYING TO COMMIT SUICIDE DAMMIT and then we find some way to resolve a plot that isnt Action Scenes And All The Bad Guys Die A Lot * also fuck i dont know if u want a ship of monster dude and not monster dude then do the two dads instead of a guy and his adopted brother, thats just gross * also MORE SCREENTIME FOR THE CUTE AND COOL MONSTER LOKI DESIGN. like yo you cant have any form of plot about accepting yourself unless you show his true form like.. more than once. as far as i know it never appears in the sequels even after they give him his super overdue redemption plot :/

^ Dat’s Pretty Neat

srsly it sucks that this is even the only damn screenshot i could get of it like fuckin 0.4 seconds of one damn movie, never shown again

its funny how just by googling it you’ll get like fifty bazillion edited screenshots of what if he stayed that way for the rest of the film and also the sequels and also a bazillion fanarts and fan jotunn ocs and like seriously fuckin EVERYONE likes the cool blue elves design, marvel, use it more often!!

look at this really great fanart by this artist here I can’t say any opinion on the rest of their art tho cos they seem to be one of those people that ship him with his brother.. sigh... >_> still drawing terrible ships elsewhere doesnt make your other art any less talented! thank u for blessing us with Casual Monster Man Knows He Is Cute BECAUSE MARVEL IS TOO COWARD TO DO IT

[moonshroooms]

102 More random questions. I wasn’t even bored I just saw some on a blog so here we go

Forgot to save the link for the post it came on, so sorry if you wanted to do this too! >^<

1. favorite season?

Hmm, spring and fall. Though I like spring more than fall

 2. prettiest thing u own?

My Zelda necklace/choker, which is just some basic woven bracelet (brown with a gold Zelda emblem), but my wrists were too bony to actually wear it (it kept fallin’ over D: ) so my friend modified it to be a choker for me! It’s my favorite thing. And also, a silver pendant necklace that’s little gem-covered (fake gems, obvi) lock with a tiny key. I used to like collecting keys as a child, and often thought of myself as a lock and key when I was little, so it’s one of my favorite things as well. :3

 3. do u prefer to be outside or inside?

I prefer to be outside. I was always a dirt child growing up, and I love being outside in the sun or clouds or rain, in the grass or up in trees. However, since I currently live in the city, I prefer the inside, because there’s no people. So basically: when there’s no people/it’s nature-y, outside. When there’s people/it’s a city, inside.

 4. furthest ever traveled?

I went to the Bahamas for my sister’s wedding. Hoo was that quite a lot of saving, but I made it, and it was such an experience. I’m so lucky to have been able to go

 5. what’s your aesthetic in 3 words?

Animal nature fandom

 6 favorite gemstone?

Larimar, for sure! I don’t know that it’s technically a gemstone, but it’s a pretty rock and that’s all I care about.

 7 best thing about yourself, in your opinion

Everything obvi

No no. But hmm. I guess I’d say my athletic prowess. I love moving around and going places (as in, climbing up rocks or something). And I love that I’m naturally inclined to be rather strong, flexible, and dexterous, despite the fact that I’m out of shape as hell

 8 best thing about yourself, in other’s opinion

I. Hm. I’m not sure, as I haven’t asked that kind of question (despite desperately wanting to). I think my friend TH said it was great how everything could be a game for me. My other friend T said he liked that I could easily switch with being an adult and being a kid. So my childlike sense of the world, I suppose.

 9 what’s your weirdest fear?

I don’t know that it’s weird or that I have a really ‘weird’ fear. I had a fear of mirrors at night, once, because I was afraid if I looked in one I’d see the Chuckie doll in the reflection. I’m incredibly creeped out by intestinal parasites, but I mean, who wouldn’t be, you know? Unless that’s your jam, that is. If it is, dang do I wish I could be u cause u got some nerve

 10 weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

It started off on what would seem to be a sex dream, and then I turned away from the random dude my brain conjured up for one second for it to be replaced with my mom. And I was like. So disappointed. And she was just like “:D Hey sweetheart, what’chya doin’?” I woke up and was very annoyed.

And to be fair, this isn’t exactly a “weird” dream, but 90% of my dreams are absolutely off the wall and make no sense, so the fact that this one was mostly coherent was the weirdest thing about it tbh

 11 go-to hiding place

Up a tree

 12 favorite place in your house

Wherever my laptop or games are

 13 earliest memory

Racing my old cat home down the hill we lived on

 14 do you believe in ghosts?

Yes, but at the same time if someone told me they could see/speak to ghosts, or that there was a ghost haunting my house right now, I tell them that was bullshit. So basically I’m open to the possibility, but probably wouldn’t believe someone saying they’re supernaturally gifted XD

 15 favorite sea creature?

Beluga whales, hands down. I’ve been in love with them since I was 6 years old and they’re my favorite animal period.

 16 cold showers or hot baths?

Cold shower, but don’t get me wrong, hot baths are great too

 17 satin or lace?

Satin is comfy, lace is sexy ;D

 18 gold or silver?

Silver. I don’t understand why people like gold so much. Yellow is an alright color, and gold is basically just yellow. Silver is just so much prettier and goes with 10x more colors honestly smh

 19 hoops or pearl earrings?

Pearls!

 20 aesthetic song

Fireflies by Owl City

 21 top 5 songs

Fireflies by Owl City

Aaaand

Not gonna lie, Fireflies is my favorite song, and the other four songs tend to change to whatever I like at the time, so I don’t really have a top 5 favorite. So here’s my favorite songs right now

Enchanted by Taylor Swift (Owl City Cover)

Louder Than Thunder by the Devil Wears Prada (I just rediscovered this song recently. It’s so fricken emotional and it makes me laugh so much. I love the instrumentals and the dude’s voice).

Violet Hill by Coldplay

Jenny by Studio Killers

Sad Machine by Porter Robinson

 22 favorite time of the day?

Dawn, like literally when the sun is just barely showing in the sky and the skies and clouds are washed with pinks and blues and no one else in the world has quite woken up yet. A prerequisite to enjoying this time of day is having pulled an all-nighter, of course, because I am morning person, but not a “waking up” person. Other than that, midnight, when the moon is high and the world is quite.

Basically any time of day when everyone is clocked the fudge out and I can be alone without anyone expecting anything of me

 23 favorite part of your body?

When I was little my friend told me I had a really nice collarbone, and that has been my favorite part of my body since lol

 24 do you drink alcohol?

Naaah. Other than being pretty uninterested in being drunk in general, I also hate the taste of 99.9% of any alcohol. Beer is the taste I hate the least, but I still don’t like the taste. The only alcoholic drink I can say actually like the taste of was Red’s Apple Ale, and no I was sponsored to say that :P My friend coaxed me into taking and sip and I was like ‘welp, get ready for the bitterness’ and then I was like ‘that was pretty good wtf’

 25 dream job from when u were a kid

Working on a TV show about animals, like Steve Irwin, or Jeff Corwin, or the Kratt brothers. It still technically is my dream job, but I will be satisfied with anything that allows me to make an improvement in the animal community

 26 messy or clean?

Depends on my mood and the location. My room? Messy. My laptop icons/folders? Clean. At my friend’s house? Clean. My computer desk? Kinda messy, but with an intent to be organized.

 27 tea or coffee?

Water

28 favorite book

Forest Born by Shannon Hale.

Ps read her whole series it’s called the Books of Bayern and the first one is the Goose Girl and they’re beautiful they’re literally my favorite series go read them

 29 zodiac sign?

Scorpio!

 30 extrovert or introvert?

Mega introvert, but I’m one of those people that’s like really shy and quiet and calm at first/if I don’t like or know you well, and then I get loud and weird and spazzy when I’m comfortable around you

 31 celebrity crush?

None, actually. I’ve never had a celebrity crush. I feel like knowing their personality is kinda required to get a crush, you know? I can’t really crush based on faces alone

 32 early bird or night owl?

Night Owl for sure

 33 do you believe in love at first sight?

Nah, that’s infatuation man. Love only comes from understanding one another, time, and effort. You can’t actually fall in love with that person the first time you see them. Attraction at first sight, absolutely. Love? Nope

 34 favorite book quote

Uhhhhh. Hm.

Honestly, I don’t think I have one. And if I do, and I’m not going to look for one right now cause I’m lazy, then it’ll probably be something dumb the character said.

 35 three wishes you have  

Can they be unrealistic wishes?

Shapeshifting

Speak any language

Visit the loved ones who have passed on

 36 do you believe in magic?

100%

 37 do you believe in soulmates?

0%

 38 zoo or aquarium?

D: I

Can I have both

If not aquariums I suppose, since I’m more likely to see my favorite animal there

 39 cats or dogs?

Cats. I love puppers though! I’d just rather have cats as pets :3

 40 how many languages do you speak?

Just English, though I know a few phrases in Spanish that my mom will say at me, and I hope to learn sign language one day soon!

41 how has your life changed from last year?

I’m in college now. Community college, but still

42 why do you have your name/url?

My nickname is Moon, and honestly all of my unimportant usernames are moon-related in some way

 43 do you keep secrets? how well?

Super well, cause I hate gossip. The exceptions are that I may talk to my mom or best friend if it bothers me. Exception from that being if the secret-sharer explicitly asks me not to talk to those people about it

 44 favorite animal

Beluga whales, white lions, sugar gliders

 45 what is love to you?

A feeling/person that makes your life better overall. That the two of you will talk and support each other when things are rough, and someone that you want to be with you on your journey in life, and they want you in theirs. Close friends and romantic love are very similar to each other, to me, with a few differences of course

 46 future children name?

Devon or Aiden for a boy

Anaise or Astrid for a girl

 47 favorite color

Blue! Cerulean blue, specifically

And silver

 48 favorite movie

Bambi, Jurassic Park, Jumanji

49 cuddles or kisses?

Fade in and out from both

 50 if you could have any person in the world over for dinner, who would be?

My best friend’s in florida!

 51 someone to bring back from the dead

If there were absolutely no downsides to bringing them back and the person in question wanted to be brought back, my old cat Princess. Life just… looks less colorful since she left.

 52 lipstick or lipgloss?

Chapstick

 53 are you street smart or book smart?

Book Smart for sure. I wish I could be street smart, but I’m an awkward sausage

 54 your biggest strength

I… am not sure. I don’t know what I’d consider my biggest strength. Looking at both sides of an argument, perhaps?

 55 favorite sport

I hate sports because there’s too many rules. That’s annoying. I want to kick someone in the shins and not get a penalty for it

 56 favorite drink?

Cactus Cooler and Shirly Temples (sans alcohol)

57 favorite winter activity

Staying the fuck inside with a fire

Where I’m from it doesn’t know, it just rains

 58 last time you went abroad

My sister’s wedding, august 2016!

 59 favorite dessert

Strawberry shortcake!

 60 favorite artist

You know, I thought this meant song artist, but considering singer/band is right underneath, then maybe it means like art artist? I dunno man, I don’t pay attention to art much.

 61 favorite singer/band

Owl City

 62 favorite dancing song

Single Ladies by Beyoncé

 63 favorite crying song

The Last Unicorn by America

U asked for a crying song and that’s like literally the only song that can actually make me cry for some reason

 64 do you wear glasses?

Thankfully not! I don’t have a problem with other people who wear glasses, it just seems like such a pain

 65 first thing you do when you wake up

Say good morning to my old cat in heaven

 66 how long do u usually sleep for?

Though my friend said 8 hours is actually too much for most people, and most people should typically get 7 hours, I’m an outlier and should not have been counted cause if I wanna wake up without feeling sleepy still for a few hours then 8 hours is the way to go

 67 one thing you lost and you want back

My old teddy bear named Rose. I was kidnapped when I was younger (long story) and my brother’s old army friends pulled together money to get me a red teddy bear with a rose on the neck. It was/is my favorite stuffed animal. When my mom and I moved apartments I was being taken on vacation with my friends to her grandmother’s ranch. I put Rose in my mom’s purse for her to make sure it didn’t get thrown away or lost. She lost it though, and I never saw Rose again. I miss her very much

 68 biggest fear

Losing my loved ones

 69 favorite carnival ride

That ride where it spins you around and you stick to the walls

 70 do u have birthmarks or scars?

I have some stretch marks on my thighs which I actually quite like the look of, and a slightly darker blotch on my lower left-side of my stomach. It’s not really noticeable at all, but you can see it just fine when I point it out

 71 favorite childhood memory

Anything with my old cat Princess

 72 what do u think about during a storm?

If there’s thunder, I think about how I can almost feel it rumbling in my chest. Otherwise I think about how if I didn’t have neighbors and people around to see me, I’d 100% go outside and play in the rain

 73 one word to describe your life?

Downhill

 74 craziest thing ever done

Mmm. When I was younger I got to go be “zookeeper for a day” and I got to pet one of the baby alligators (two of them! They’re names were Hugs and Kisses!) and see all the snakes and other animals!

 75 do u have piercings or tattoos?

I do not. I had my ears pierced when I was younger, but it was so annoying to keep up with since it would always close, so I just. Let it

 76 favorite flower

*googles*

Oh my goodness.

Dahlia flowers. Dahlia flowers are goregeous

(Orchids too!)

 77 do u have any pets?

I do. I have two kittens (eh, they’re not kittens anymore. But they’re kinda small and fluffy cats, so they’ll always be kittens), named Canyon and India!

 78 describe your style

Casual, bright colors

 79 choose one thing to change about yourself

Be more sure of myself

 80 do u play any musical instruments?

Does your voice count?

 81 if your life was a movie would it be a comedy, a rom-com, action film or drama?

Tragedy

 82 do u prefer dark, dramatic makeup or natural makeup?

No makeup, but if I must choose, natural

 83 favorite perfume

Anything cherry blossom

 84 biggest fandom

Keeping in mind that, despite being apart of many fandoms, I never actually participate in anything other than the consuming of other people’s works

 Undertale, Gravity Falls, Steven Universe

 85 favorite YouTuber(s)

Chuggaaconroy: A+++ let’s player. He’s very detailed and thorough in his let’s play, which are basically let’s plays and walkthroughs combined. He can get loud, but he seems very sincere and his videos are a lot of fun.

Vintagebeef: A+ let’s player. He’s got a nice calm voice, he’s funny, and plays a variety games (though mostly minecraft). My favorite thing is that he doesn’t talk over cutscenes and whatnot

Cryaotic: Another great let’s player. My god I could swim in that voice. I don’t watch a lot of his videos (mostly the sprite games he plays), but when I do I fricken’ binge. His reactions are very genuine and he’s funny too

Versus (Aka AttackingTucans/Tyler Sederwall and Josh Jepson): They run a let’s play versus channel where they race each other in single player games. They’re conversation can get a little (a lot) innapropriate, but I love watching their videos

My god I have a lot of let’s players

 Swoozie: A funny artist who tells a lot of stories from his personal life, usually including drawings

JaidenAnimation: I love her videos and her art style is so adorable and she’s hilarious. Another artist who tells stories using art

TheOdd1sout: Another another art-life-story-teller type youtuber. He has a tumblr that he posts comics on too and they’re great!

Anna Akana: A young lady that shares stories and thoughts from her own life, very funny and it’s obvious she puts a lot of work in her videos

Daniel Howell/danisnotonfire: A british lad that shares stories and thoughts from his own life, usually at his expense. He’s hilarious and I relate to a lot of his videos, which probably isn’t a good thing honestly like my god he has a lot of existential crisis’

Channel Awesome/Nostalgia Critic/Doug Walker: He does reviews and whatnot on mostly movies and occasionally tv shows. Mostly I like his reviews and little. I dunno, side things where he asks a question/opinion on the nature of media? But I surprisingly enjoyed his and his brother’s Gravity Falls and Steven Universe vlogs. Thinking about picking up his Avatar the Last Airbender vlogs to!

  86 OTP

Kisshu and Ichigo from Tokyo Mew Mew. My first OTP and somehow no one has ever beat them for all these years

Shion and Nezumi from No. 6. Honestly, I did not read the whole synopsis for No. 6, so I had no idea it was even a romance, but they’re so cute together and they’re just a really nice couple to see

 87 country, state where you were born

U.S.A.

 88 your parent’s name

Suzanne :3 (though that’s not technically her name, it’s what everyone calls her).

 89 favorite snack

Raspberries!

 90 pasta or pizza

Depends on the mood

 91 pen or pencil

Pencil

 92 blue or black ink

Blue, but only if it’s good blue ink

 93 paper books or electronic books? 

Paper! Electronic books just don’t hold the same feel. I feel like I’m reading a fanfiction and I just can’t get into it as much

 94 history or geography? 

History! Native Americans, Mayans, and Aztecs were the only times I was ever honestly interested in history

 95 pastel or neon

Pastel for day, neon for nights

 97  soap or body wash

Body wash

 98  conditioner, no conditioner, or 2 in 1 shampoo & conditioner

I

Honestly only guys could use 2 in 1 shampoo/condition. And I don’t even think it’s that great for them

I have African hair, so I need conditioner man, or my hair would die

 99 singing in the shower or not

I kill it in the shower

 100  listen to music while bathing or silence

Usually music, but sometimes I enjoy silence

 101  blow dry, towel dry, or air dry your hair

Towel/air dry. My hair gets put into braids while wet, so the water drips to the end hours after getting out (and is still wet for a few days even after it stops dripping), so it’s air-dried but there’s a towel around my neck and I sometimes squeeze/wring it out

 102 morning or night showers?

If I’m allowed to pass out immediately, night showers