#but also people who speak German are so funny and nice so i keep following you all

[cyberpunkboytoy]

I love how I reblogged German stuff with a specific set of mutuals in mind, only to get notes from Other Mutuals who Also apparently speak German.

I am absolutely surrounded (this is a good thing)

[boop-le-snoot]

masterpost ☀️ main masterlist ☀️ taglist

previously on...

Chapter 5. We have stucky, we have stevesambucky friendship, we have a new place to live and strange being a good guy because tony definitely ranted at him. Also, we're beginning the creepy part of the plot. I have decided that sam will be one of the main platonic characters in this story because I love sam.

fun fact: I used to be a creepypasta writer! Going back to my roots here, hehe.

Things had stated changing, for better or worse, much sooner than I had been prepared for - but was anyone, ever, really ready for the next big step? Certainly not me - the view that greeted me after I'd finished my shift at Jeremy's was peculiar and unexpected, so I froze, eyebrows high at the two super-soldiers parked, once again, illegally, right in front of the entrance door.

"Hi, doll," Bucky was reclined against his boyfriend comfortably, his bike standing a pace behind Steve's, who nodded companionably, a sheepish grin on his face.

"G'day," I nodded, eyeing them warily. "I think I know where this is going..."

"No, no, nothing like that," both men frantically waved their hands around, Steve coming up close to approach me slowly. "You're not in trouble. I came out here to say thanks," giving a sappy look to the grouch that was his boyfriend, Steve reached into his pocket and handed me a slip of paper. "Just, uh..."

"Those are our phone numbers. Don't hesitate to give either one of us a call if someone bothers you," Bucky took over the stammering blonde, shaking his head at the soft blush that blossomed on the good captain's face. The brunette wrapped an arm around Steve's shoulders with a shy smile of his own. "Or if you, I don't know, need someone to carry your groceries or something," he snorted. "The punk wouldn't leave it alone until we came out personally to thank you, the sap."

The laughter bubbled up from my chest as I grabbed and pocketed the paper, throughly amused and at the endearing gesture. "Sure, thanks."

"And, uh," Bucky's eyes briefly looked to the side. "We'd appreciate if you keep the status of our relationship to yourself for now. We're not, like, officially out yet."

I froze in place, mouth falling open. Surely they were aware that anybody with a functional pair of eyes could see that they were much more than 'good, lifelong friends'. "No problem, guys. Lemme know if anyone gives you shit about it though, this place," I gestured to the café behind me, "is strictly paparazzi and homophobe-free."

Steve's grin grew even more genuine. "Yeah, we heard all about it from Tony and Stephen. Said 'twas the only place they go these days."

I wasn't aware of that. "It's the paps, isn't it?" I remembered Tony's remarks.

Bucky shook his head, the metals of his prosthetic arm whirring as it recalibrated. "Not only. The public hasn't had the best reaction to a man goin' out with a man," the brunette looked away to the side, where Steve's face had fallen considerably. "And Tony's an eccentric rich man. We're jus' two soldiers. The US Army won't be too happy if we... Came out," both men were crestfallen yet determined.

I had a hunch nothing would be able to separate the two - seeing as not even seventy-odd years and brainwashing and ice couldn't keep the captain and his sarge apart, I doubted that a few government weasels could successfully do the job. Even so, it was unpleasant, to say the least, to see them deny themselves something that technically was perfectly fine in the 21st century.

I chewed on my lip, gathering my wits. "I've clocked out, I can tell you this as a friend- as a person. You don't owe the army jack shit. They do not own you, you are your own person that they experimented their German knockoff steroids on. Respectfully, fuck that shit." I firmly stated my opinion, figuring that there should have been at least someone that told Steve that he is more than his star-spangled uniform and giant metal frisbee.

The blonde scrunched his eyebrows together, fingers gripping onto his belt until the knuckles went white, the hard line of his jaw set firm.

Bucky laugh took me by surprise. "Agreed, doll. I'm too old to be hiding in back alleys and shit," he clapped on his boyfriend's shoulder. "Although I'm happy enough with just not going to prison for bein' in love with this idiot."

"Jerk," Steve's responding pout was downright adorable now that I knew the circumstances surrounding their relationship.

Which wasn't exactly surprising. As a barista, I knew my fair share about my regulars' love lives, their jobs, their kids. The tea was almost always piping hot. "Bye, boys," I smiled at them warmly, throwing a glance at the time, adjusting the strap of my bag for comfort. "Stay outta trouble!"

Steve scrambled for his bike, having noticed my pointed gesture. "Sorry, didn't mean to hold you back. There, I have a spare helmet," he gestured behind him. "I'll give you a ride."

"There's no way in Hell I'm getting on that death trap!" I shouted cheerfully, walking briskly towards my second job, hiding a laugh in the warmth of my scarf as two very offended motorcycle-loving gay fossils sped past me, making truly incredible amounts of noise. Good for them.

Odette was content to let me rummage around the bodega without showing herself more than necessary, taking her appointments and doing- well, witch stuff, I guess, only coming out to poke at the various jars for ingredients.

"Star, I have a proposition for you," right before closing time, Odette's voice filled out the store with its low drawl. "A good friend of mine owns an apartment building, not far from here actually, and one tenant recently moved out. It's a safe space for those who are different," she enunciated the last word, fixing it with a pointed stare. "She's not overly fond of total strangers coming to live there. The rent is reduced and the apartment itself is slightly bigger and more fashionable than yours..."

"Where's the catch?" I found myself interrupting her. I wouldn't lie: the reduced rent and increased size of the apartment did interest me, as well as the probability of a kinder, more involved landlord. My current one was - not the best, but such was life in the NYC.

"There are a few rules to follow, rules that might seem strange at first but they'll make sense in time. And your neighbors might be also a little... Unusual," Odette carefully studied my face for any signs of displeasure.

I sighed.

And then I sighed some more as I was signing my new lease in a few days' time, having spoken with Porter, my new landlord, and his boyfriend who had claws and fangs- after so much time spent around Odette's, I didn't even blink. The couple liked me enough to extend a secure but flexible offer and some furniture to choose from the attic where they kept the spares.

I quite liked the large, vintage couch I placed next to the wide bow windows in the living room. The floors were hardboard and well-kept, the walls a nice, homely shade of green and Porter didn't mind any new holes in them that might arise from hanging up decorations. I scheduled a thrift crawl at the next possible opportunity, happy with the "good employee" bonus Odette had given me after I sealed the deal.

My stuff was boxed up, a sleepless night and a call to a begrudging Jeremy to have a couple of days off to move; I was, thankfully, not late on my schedule and all that I had left was to rent a car to move the boxes of my things and the few pieces of furniture I had decided to keep - my haul in Porter's attic had been incredibly rewarding and my new apartment had all the basics to make it look like a warm, inviting bohemian home in a while.

My phone rang suddenly, startling interruption to the romcom I was watching as I ate my last lunch in my old apartment. "Hello?" I answered the number without looking.

"Hi, doll," Bucky's voice rang out cheerful. "A little witch told me you were moving. I thought you might need a hand?"

I blanked momentarily, the thought of enlisting two very busy super-soldiers to haul ten boxes and two endtables worth of stuff not having crossed my mind at all. "Is this the moment when you stop by my house just to unattach and put your prosthetic arm somewhere and leave?" I asked, hearing distinctive snickering - several more people were with him.

The cheer in his voice blossomed into a full belly laugh. "You're funny," he teased me. "And thanks for the idea. But no, I have a room full of men that have nothing better to do but get on my nerves. Might as well make 'em useful," his accented drawl thickened the more we spoke. Muted cheers rang out in the background.

"Uh, sure," who was I to look a gift horse in the mouth? I rattled off my address and warned them I didn't have a car, after which Bucky assured me it will be taken care of. The last remaining knick-knacks packed away, I went down to take out the trash, and returned to four people standing in front of my apartment building, all except one unrecognisable in their civilian clothes. "Hello," I waved at them, side-eyeing the tallest, grumpiest man of the bunch.

Stephen Strange was there, looking around curiously, hands in the pockets of his plain grey hoodie. I had already forgotten how normal he looked without his robes, and, frankly speaking, I preferred him like that. His title and the attire that came with it were quite intimidating.

"Hey there," a dark-skinned man who I recognised to be the Falcon, raised his hand. I had not met him yet. "I'm Sam, Sam Wilson. You must be the Star we're helping?" His quick once-over and the tilt to his lips; the ease with which he flirted had me brandishing smirks of my own. I led them all upstairs, Stephen's silence being just so loud. Sam, however, had no such reservations. "So, you're a witch, right?" Wow, subtlety was his middle name.

"Yes, I'll show you my broomstick," I deadpanned, wiggling my eyebrows at him with a grim look.

"Woah woah," Sam raised his hands as the three men behind us snickered loudly. "What happened to 'how are you? let's have dinner sometime'?"

I did my best imitation of an evil cackle as I let them through my front door. The four newcomers looked around my nearly empty apartment with muted interest before zeroing in on the pile of things in the corner: a few pieces of furniture and nearly taped boxes. Should be a walk in the park for four men.

A hand on my arm pulled me from the stupor of observing Sam, Bucky and Steve act like a well-oiled trio, bantering and teasing each other as they discussed how to best move the things.

"Look," Stephen Strange had all the appearance of a chastised puppy. "I wanted to apologize for my behaviour that day. I was out of line," the low notes in his voice made the appearance of the apology being somewhat reluctant. Tony probably put him to it after our little burger run.

Irregardless, I wasn't looking to make any enemies. "Me too, I was under stress - not that I'm using it as an excuse," to give where it's due, I nodded at the sorcerer, immediately awestruck by the easy, boyish smile that stretched on his lips.

"You are strong," he added. "If you would like to learn our ways, we would welcome you." There was a spark in his eyes, something belonging to man that respected and collected knowledge. My own respect for him grew immensely just from that one thing.

"I'll think about it," I offered amicably, however, I still leaned heavily towards a negative answer to that particular proposition. I liked my current way of life.

Strange's grin made a momentary second appearance, until Sam's voice rang loudly: "Fire in the hole, Wizard-man," causing the former to groan loudly and look at me.

"Think about your new place for a second," he spoke, briefly touching out fingertips. As soon as that was over, a golden circle with my new living room on the other side of it appeared quietly, Strange's hands immediately going back into his pockets after that. I sighed and pointed the men into it, stepping in a second after. The sorcerer wasn't far behind. "You could learn that, too, you know," he added wryly, having seen my look of mild envy directed at him.

"I think I'll be good with having the 'pissed off the sorcerer Supreme and lived' pass for now," I retorted with an eyeroll, turning around to stare him down.

He had the decency to look somewhat sheepish, at least. "I'm not like my predecessor," his words were chosen carefully. "And, to be honest, I have no clue as to why your... Boss is so hostile towards me- us," Strange looked around the room before unceremoniously beelining for the couch and plopping down on it.

"Not to be a gossip," I started, slightly intrigued. "But Odette and some lady she called ancient had mad beef," I slipped into casual language easily, trying to recall the details of Odette's, quite often jumbled, stories. "Sounded almost like territorial disputes," I shrugged. "And the apprentices Odette took on before me found themselves in all kinds of compromising situations," I chewed on my lip. "Like the Arctic."

Strange rubbed his face with a noisy groan, large hands doing nothing to mask the resignation and slight embarrassment.

I focused on the thin, red scars on his hands - they had to have been something serious, the way slight tremors betrayed the deteriorating state of the nerves in his fingers. I frowned, quickly averting my gaze before he could catch me ogling him. The fact thag Stephen kept his hands in his pockets or covered by gloves at all times didn't go over my head.

He muttered something to himself, something that sounded like he was often forced to clean up his predecessor's mess. "I see," was the only thing he'd offered me, looking slightly pitiful and apologetic.

"Well," I started, noting the last of my stuff was about to be in its rightful place, "as long as you don't toss me into the ocean, I think we can coexist peacefully."

"Tony would kill me if I'd tried," Stephen groused.

"Probably," I agreed. "Considering the fact he hit on me, for you, it would make one hell of a lover's quarrel," my hand pointed towards the kitchen as Steve and Sam carried in the boxes aptly labeled "kitchen", looking around a place to put them down.

"Tony did what now?" Stephen's tone dropped, a wry smirk decorating his lips as he eyed me through his lashes.

"Don't ask me," I raised my palms, feeling my eyes widen. "He's chaos personified and Satan only knows what he's got on his mind."

That squeezed a laugh out of the tall man, followed by a fond, sappy smile as he looked out of my large, panoramic window, probably thinking of Tony himself. There was no doubt, Stephen Strange was utterly and throughly head over heels in love with Tony Stark. Good for them, good for them.

"A-and that's it," Bucky walked in, wiping his hands on a kitchen towel I'd provided them earlier. "I took some liberties and assembled the furniture, Steve is stacking the dishes as we speak," the brunette noisily plopped down next to me, arm carelessly thrown behind me on the back of the couch.

"Oh, um," I stammered, unused to such random gestures of kindness. "Thanks a lot, you saved me a day's worth of time and a backache," I smiled, scooting over to make some room for Sam.

"No problem, not like we had anything better to do than argue which part of the Lord of the Rings is the best," Wilson rolled his eyes, elbowing Bucky none-too-gently.

Bucky elbowed back, thus starting a horsing war between the two, causing me to scoot closer to Stephen as I attempted to avoid any flailing limbs; the sorcerer and I shared an identical, perplexed sigh as to how two grown men could easily bait each other into such juvenile behaviour.

Whatever. It was kind of endearing.

Steve emerged from the kitchen dusty but smiling, having heard the commotion, and quickly herded his guys into a semblance of decent behaviour before all of three of them left, leaving me and Stephen to go back to my old apartment and give the keys to it to the guard. That was done, too, and a portal from an alley behind my old building straight into my living room had me and Strange awkwardly hovering, saying out goodbyes and waving to each other as the golden circle rapidly shrunk in size and disappeared, golden sparks scattering across my living room carpet for a short second before they fizzled out, too.

I used the brief moment of respite to find the small piece of paper containing the rules Porter had insisted I read and take seriously; figuring it might be a good idea to give them a read before beginning to unpack, I popped open a bottle of soda, holding the itemized list written in neat cursive to my face.

The further I read, the further my eyebrows rose:

"1. Keep your door locked at all times.

2. If a person knocks on your door claiming to be the mail man, do not open the door under any circumstances. You are free to ignore the knocking - it only lasts a minute or so. After the person has left, you may open the door and check for any packages.

3. If Samantha from 3B visits you and asks you to babysit, you may do so at your personal discretion. Her twins are a handful and their daily habits are not for the ones with a weak stomach, however, they mean nothin ill and will not harm you in any way.

4. Do not use the elevator between the hours of 1 and 4 AM.

5. There are no apartments under number "7". If someone claiming to be from those apartments knocks on your door and requests entry, come up with a polite excuse to decline and send me a text message. I will take care of it.

6. There is no garden on the premises of this building. If a man approaches you, claiming to be a gardener, don't interact with him and simply walk away. He will leave you alone.

7. You may meet a girl in a polka-dot dress playing in the hallways or in the stairwell. This is Lucy. Always be polite to Lucy - you won't like what will happen if you're rude to her. She does not talk but she knows limited ASL and may request to visit you. Allow her in ONLY if you have fresh meat in your fridge (beef or mutton, preferably bloody). You might want to avoid seeing her eat, however, it might be very beneficial to make friends with Lucy. She knows a lot of things.

8. If, when taking the stairs, you encounter inconsistent numeration of the floors, such as floor 2 followed by floor 5 and etc, simply walk a flight back. It will sort itself out. The building is old and sometimes it gets confused.

Important notice: these rules apply to your guests as well. Please make sure to introduce and educate them on these matters. We will help as much as we can should a situation arise but ultimately, there are fates far worse than an untimely, however swift, death.

- Porter and Lance."

A slow, creeping dread began to gnaw at my nape, curling on like a cold snake deep in chest. As if laughing at me, the warm, welcoming embrace of the green walls and the toothy, wide smiles my landlords had given me encouraged my recently found sense of adventure, all of it mixing into a cacophony of exhilaration and unease, equally steadily driving my running brain insane.

I sighed again, immediately going to the box containing my altar and the rest of the protective items. So much for peace.

Taglist: @couldntbedamned @mikariell95 @letsby @sleep-i-ness @toomanyrobins @mostly-marvel-musings @persephonehemingway @schemefrenzy @lillsxd @bluecrazedandbeautiful @slothspaghettiwrites @xoxabs88xox

[justsomeoneunordinary]

3🥦🥦🥦

You love coffee, ergo I love you, ergo intimidation is low. You're pretty blunt and I love that, but I can imagine that this is intimidating for others? 😂

And adding 2, so it's 3, because you love Natasha and that speaks of a fine mind and I remember you telling me of beating someone with a handbag, very romanoff of you.

Also you're so sweet and its so fun to bicker with you or read your interactions with others, like they're often highlights in my day 🥰

10/10 would let you step on me though. Extra coffee for you if you manage to get the weird tensity out of my back:P

sesil 🥺💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

please know, it took me so long to answer, cause i didn't know what to say to all that. (but also cause i totally fell asleep again after i told you i'd answer later lol) god, i should type this on desktop cause WORDS, but i need the emojis to express myself, so mobile torture it is.

coffee is life and anyone who disagrees is literally wrong. i type that while drinking coffee lol. also "pretty blunt" is probably the understatement of the century. i am extremely blunt. it's a problem. though i can't tell if it's bc people get mad/annoyed at me or bc i have to keep it to myself at work which causes my organs almost to explode. 😆

also, also!!! i didn't punch the guy with my handbag!!! he tried to steal my handbag so i punched him in the face. with my fist. that's not the same, please get your facts straight. 😌💖 (i'm telling you, it was poetic! movie worthy!! he was right at the the bus doors when they opened and my punch had just enough force to push him out of the bus. god, it's been years and i'm still so proud of that chchadhfjsfj)

but god, sesil, you!!! chcjskdjfkafjaldfjakfjaksfjgkglakf I LOVE YOU OKAY!!! you're so sweet, how dare. this message transformed me in a puddle of goo and i don't like that. how dare you make me soft.

i remember when you followed me out of a sudden and i just sat there like??? why did this frostiron artist follow me?? you have to know, i had no clue that you're a big name. man, i didn't even know that you also write!! (how dare you be so talented and skilled?? art and fics???? *le gasp*) frostiron is just a ship i look into every now and then for some pretty art and maybe a fic or two if i'm feeling it. so i did reblog your art whenever it appeared on my dash, but never felt the need to follow. i had no idea abt big names or anything, i only know the big names in the winteriron fandom. 😆

and then you followed and i was so confused and thought "oh well, she probably gonna unfollow soon" (lmaooo). (though, you honestly have to tell me what prompted you to come to my blog, i wanna know!!!) and then!!! you were so sweet and sent me asks and talked to me and vhcjdjfjsjfjfksfksgjdkc and i fell in love with you. 🥺💕💕💕

and when i finally did get the memo that you're a big name and i should probably feel intimidated, it was already too late. too much shitposting had happened since then lol. (skat kink anon will forever live rent-free in my head cbcnzfjadjgkvka)

and anyway!!! the fact that you made me love you in first place even tho you are german, which is totally a crime and i am betraying my people by being friends with you (if switzerland ever finds out, i will lose all my swiss privilege), and even dared to ask me if swiss chocolate is actually good - that despite that i still would totally 100% kill for you, says a lot.

gosh, you're just such a wonderful human being. you are nice and funny and beautifully honest and so very intelligent as well as mature (i forget so often how young you technically are. god i was so dumb when i was your age but you!!! you are incredible!), you're an amazing artist and just as an amazing writer, and i love you to pieces. 🥺💕💕💓💓💞💞💘💘💗💗🥰🥰

intimidation level 0 but only cause i love you and know you and know i don't have to be intimidated at all. 10/10 i would absolutely step on you if you asked me to. (but i fear you might not have a back afterwards anymore :/)

thank you for your nice words, love!! 💙💙

-

On a scale of 1 to 10, how intimidating am I?

[sapphicomenn]

WELCOME TO MY THOUGHTS WHILE REWATCHING THE MCU IN TIMELINE ORDER: THE AVENGERS

“the tesseract has awakened” oh you mean the glowy cube from captain america AND captain marvel? THAT glowly cube?? cool looking stairs- ew who tf are you? the grim reaper??

what the fuck is a chitauri and why does it sound like sea food. “a world will be his. the universe, yours.” STOP BLAMING THE PRONOUN GAME AND GIVE ME NAMES FFS

ooo shield base. “not a drill.” oh shits going down- COULSON. FUURRRYYY FUCK YEAH. the best marvel characters are here the movie has peaked- oldman from thor is here?? intoresting. and who the hell is this woman tryna question fury??

the glowy cube is a shE???????? HUH??????? oh hey its hawkeye the badass archer guy. oh shit things are going down. the cube is sparking and swirling??- IT OPENED A PORTAL

LOKKIII YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD WELCOME BACK. HE HAS A SHOOTY MAGIC SPEAR LIKE A BADASS. he just took out a bunch or shield with a shooty spe- OHMYGODS HE CAN CONTROL MINDS WITH IT.

“loki. brother of thor.” OLDMAN STFU

GUNS GO PEW PEW ALONG SIDE A GOOD OLD CAR CHASE SKSHSKKSHS. RUN FURY RUNNN. the portal imploded on itself like a moron hA

WHO TF NAMES THEIR CHILD “HILL” WTF. “we are at war.” NO SHIT SHERLOCK A NORSE GOD STOLE THE CUBE YOU WERE SUPPOST TO PROTECT

tis a train and a old building- NATASHA. how tf were you taken hostage? im so glad i have subtitles on otherwise i wouldnt understand a thing these ppl are saying. HOW TF IS SHE KICKING ASS WHILE TIED TO A CHAIR WHAT IN THE HELL-

oh his leg deff broke once he fell off the ledge tied to a chain. cut to a lil gorl running to find a doctor- who tf this is of course. THIS GUY IS BANNER??? i mean im glad they changed the actor but wtf. “theres no one that knows gamma radiation like you do.” YA DONT SAY, ROMANOFF. “STOP LYING TO ME” JESUS FUCK THAT MADE ME JUMP

oh damn shield has their own O5 council? cool. EXPLAIN WHAT PHASE2 IS ALREADY. also dont say thor is bad he is a giant puppy dog with a war-boner.

oh hi steve, working off that PTSD by beating the shit out of a punching bag ay? oh right steve knows the glowy cube. “at this point i doubt anything would surprise me.” “ten bucks says you’re wrong” welp ya owe him ten bucks steve

“is there anything you can tell us about the tesseract to help us now?” “you should’ve left it in the ocean.” WELL THAT HELPS ALOT DOESNT IT. hello there iron man, at the bottom of the ocean.? sure why the hell not

aye stark tower’s about to have clean energy, yay stark! “stark tower, is your baby.” how do you give birth to a tower.???????? KSHSJSHSKSJS COULSON BROKE INTO THE TOWER “is first name is agent.” TONY SKSHKSSHKSVSKSHSKS

*whisper whisper whisper* yeah she bribed tony with sex so he’d work on the avengers and stuff. “the guys like a stephen hawking.” “. . .” “hes like a smart person”

awh coulson is fangirling over steve- watched you while you were sleepin- man you’re awkward. you adorable dumbass. ohshit underground musky lab- OLDMAN AND LOKI

the world is breaking around loki. sea food army is restless- shut the fuck up you stupid looking eye wrapped bastard. WHO THE HELL IS THIS HE?????? welcome back to earth you smexy man

FLOATING WATER BASE

back to avenger tingz. man coulson is the biggest cap fan- oh its a giant sub- NO ITS A GIANT FLYING BASE HOLYSHIT SHIELD THATS AMAZING.

now we go into the meetings and talking related stuff :I yey. “lets vanish” wdym- IT HAD A CLOAKING DEVICE. HA STEVE JUST GAVE THE TEN HE OWED SKSHSKHSKSJS

i dont understand a word of all the science stuff they just said but yay. “i need a distraction. and an eyeball” barton what the fuck why do you need an eye.?

oh lokis in germany, at a very fancy party might i add. loki is best boy ever. even if he just bonked a the head/ OHMYGOD AND STOLE HIS FUCKING EYE JESUS CHRIST INFRONT OF ALL THOSE PEOPLE.??????

“i said. KNEEEEL” dont need to tell me twice-

blagh villain speeches are the worst. why tf did this old guy stand up “not to men like you.” shut up. SHOOT HIM- wtf. steve what the hell are you wearing? what the fuck is that- aye tonnnyyy!!!! he hacked into the jet thingy and started playing music from the speaker thats the best.

CAPSICLE SKSHSKSHKSHSKSJ- ohfuck thunder. THOR WELCOME TO THE PARTY. “im not overly fond of what follows” WKVSKSBSKSHSJS

HE JUST BROKE INTO THE JET AND STOLE LOKI FROM EM. “theres only one god ma’am. and im sure he doesnt dress like that.” cap stfu

“i thought you were dead.” “did you mourn.” damn loki thats harsh. thor is angy at his brother. “you listen well brot-ARGH” “..im listening?” STARK YOU CHOSE THAT MOMENT TO BODY SLAM THOR OFF THAT CLIFF AND LEAVE LOKI BEHIND? REALLY?

“.. tourist.” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT KICK HIS ASS, THOR. DONT KILL HIM WITH LIGHTNING THO

if someone throwed me against a tree i wouldnt be walking. im just saying

“THATS ENOUGH.” cap did you think that would work?? and how the hell did your dinner plate stop the power of thor

loki do be in jail tho. how’s this gonna go wrong- oh he smiled at banner. THATS how it goes wrong

tell him off fury! “you have made me very disapoin-“ OH NVM HE SAYS DESPERATE IGNORE THIS

“uNlimiteD pOoWeRRRRR”

“let me know if real power wants a magazine or something.” good comeback fury. i think

“loki is beyond reason, but he is of asgard. and he is my brother” “he killed 80 people in two days.” “he’s adopted.” KSBSKSJSJSJSK

“that man is playing galaga. he thought we wouldnt notice, but we did.” TONYKANSKSHKSJSKSJ tony is a fucking legend. “finally someone who speaks english!” “is that what just happened?” steve stfu you’re a fighty man not a smart man

“i do! . . . i understood that reference.” steve nvm keep talking please. PLEASE THE MAN IS STILL PLAYING GALAGA SOSJSKSJSJKS

why is tony eating blueberrys- where the hell did he get blueberrys. “we have orders. we should start following them.” steve you tried to get into the army under fake locations for months AND broke into a german base when you were a showpony. stfu about following rules

“so you’re saying the hulk.. the other guy? saved me” yes. yes we are saying that, banner. aye steve go break into shit like you’re suppost to :D

oh hi again oldman, welcome back. yay shield saved padme, and awh oldman talked about thor alot. thor i love you alot. loki just tell nat where tf you left barton :/ oh barton was sent to KILL nat?? not hire her?? well that went downhill. whomst the hell is dreykov- sao paulo- the hospital fire???? hawkeye wtf why’d you spill it all to loki.

mewley quim wtf kind of insult is that- oh damn nat figured out the hulk is lokis next plan of attack. PHASE TWO IS TO USE THE GLOWY CUBE TO MAKE FUCKING WEAPONS? SHIELD WHAT THE HELL

HA FURY TRIED TO LIE IS WAY OUTTA IT BUT BC STARK HACKED INTO IT ALL HE JUST EXPOSED HIMSKHSKSJSKS

WAIT THEY WERE MADE FOR THOR AND ASGARDIANS? WHAT THE FUCK SHIELD- oh damn lokis staff is the reason they’re all at eachother. probably

“yeah. big man in a suit of armor. take that off what are you?.” “genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.” well you’re not wrong

guys stop fighting, HAWKEYE IS BREAKING IN. “in case you needed to kill me. but you cant. i know, i tried.” awh thats sad, i wanna hug banner so bad :(

OHSHIT AN ENTIRE WING GOT BLOWN UP THE FLYING BASE IS GOING DOWN- HULKS COMING OUT THATS NOT GOOD. the transforming is scary- RUN NAT

loki stop smiling because the plan is going your way. “it seems to run on some form of electricity.” “well you’re not wrong” tony stop being funny this isnt fair

HULK JUMPSCARE JESUS CHRIST- NAT GOT BITCHSLAPPED THROUGH A WALL- YAY THOR TO SAVE THE DAY. HAMMER TIME BABYY

*B O N K*

hulk trying to pick the hammer up is funny. BRIDGE IS UNDER ATTACK. DO YOU THINK SHOOTING HULK IS A GOOD IDEA??? HE JUST TOOK OUT FIGHTER JET AND ALMOST KILLED THE GUY FLYING IT

CAP IS KICKING ASS- OH GOD NO THE ENGINES ARE FAILING. OHGOD LOKI IS OUT- THOR YOU DUMBFUCK DID YOU FORGET LOKI CAN DO MAGIC SHIT? NOW YOU’RE STUCK IN THE GLASS CONTAINER

COULSON SAVE THOR! SHOOT LOKI DAMNIT- COULSON NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

glass cage go brrrrr

HA LOKI GOT FUCKIN SHOT BY COULSON BEFORE HE DIES( :( ) tony almost got minced by the engine thingys

im gonna cry coulson how dare your death make me sad :(( stupid heart breaking aftermath moments.

thor is stuck in a field, banner fell through the roof of a building. awh the security guard is so nice :) barton is a fucking mess right now “how’d you get him out?” “i hit you on the head really hard.” KSJSKKSSK

tony figured out lokis plan- ITS TAKING PLACE AT HIS TOWER? THE AVENGERS IS TAKING ACTION BABY LETS GOOOO

wait a fucking moment, the cards coulson has are covered in blood. so you’d think they were on him when he was stabbed- yet hill just said they were in his locker “they needed the push.” FURY YOU RUINED NEAR MINT VINTAGE COLLECTABLE CARDS TO MOTIVATE SUPER FREAKS???

o hi loki welcome to stark tower

“stalling wont change-“ “no no, threatening. no drink? ya sure? im having one.”

“i have an army.” “we have a hulk.” HE SAID IT, HE SAID THE LINE

HA LOKI CANT TAKE STARKS MIND BC HIS HEART IS SOME TECHY METAL CRAPKSJSKSJSKS- i guess choking and tossing him around works. so does throwing hik out a window

oh no the glowy cube just opened a portal for the army of seafood. they look like creatures from halo.

BROTHER FIGHT

CHAOS EVERYWHERE

PLANE DOWN PLANE DOWN

what the fuck just growled- HOLYSHIT THEY HAVE A SPACE LEVIATHAN. it looks badass ngl. loki redemption arc? nope he just stabbed thor.

SPACE BIKE GO BRRRRR

yes because arrows and guns will stop the, alien monsters with lazer arms. some how its working. “just like budapest all over again.” “you and i remember budapest very differently.” WTF HAPPENED AT BUDAPEST BARTON AND NAt, HUH?

cap just scared the shit outta some police men HAHA

“i have unfinished business with loki.” “yeah? get in line” barton is snarky right now. banner just rides up on a motercycle like “hi what i’d miss”

“im bringing the party to you.” stark says while being chased by a giant metal space whale who’s crashing and crushing everything in its path along a street

“thats my secret cap. im always angry.” FUCK YEAH BANNER MESS THAT SPACE WHALE UP. HE JUST PUNCHED A GIANT FUCKING WHALE THING.

the music, the avengers circling around. its amazing. well things are gonna get worse bc more space whales showed up

“and hulk. . . smash.”

LIGHT THEM FUCKERS UP, THOR. shield maybe instead of watching, maybe, oh i dont know. HELP THEM???

i dont know what else to say other then its alot of fighting and smashing alien faces into the ground

hulk and thor kicking ass on the back of a space whale is awesome. HULK WHY DID YOU PUNCH HIMSJSOSHSKJSKSJSKSKSKSK

i fuxking love when steve turtle shells behind his shield.

“director fury. the council has made a decision.” “i recognize the council has made a decision. but given its a stupid-ass decision, i have elected to ignore it.” fury never stop being awesome

loki thought he was so smug when he caught bartons arrow, then it blew up in his face. literally IKSKSKSKSKS

HULK FUCK LOKI UP! JSHSKSGKSHSJSHSJSJ HE JUST TOSSED LOKI AROUND LIKE A RAGDOLL “puny god.” “*pained wheezing from a smooshed loki*”

oh damn- OH DAMN, STARK. he just jonahed the fucking whale thing and blew it up from the inside. well now the city has a nuke coming for it :/

yall have a chance to shut the portal down, and tony, you want to go INTO that portal and throw the nuke in? wtf stark.

TONY GO BACK TO EARTH DAMNIT FUCKING BASTARD PASSED OUT. yay hulk saved his stupid ass. do cpr.? mayb.? or a hulk roar will wake him up KEJSKJSKSSKJS

tony. you just blew up a alien command center with a nuke, passed out and fell to earth through a portal. and you want, shawarma?

and now back to loki. “if its all the same to you, i’d like that drink now.” ISHSKSJSJSJSKSJSJ

STAN LEEE

the people love em. yey

council lady stfu about the avengers being a threat. they just said the earth and you’re worried about them going rouge??

“if we get into a situation like this again, what happens then?” “they’ll come back.” i mean theres three more avenger movies so i assume so. remodaling stark towers so its the avenger tower? neat!

NEXT MOVIE: IRON MAN 3

*MID CREDIT SCENE* oh hi again mr no eyes. do we get to see this HE? OH WE DO. o hi mr 10 chins

once again ignore the misspells it was three AM when i finally finished this and im just now rereading it

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Down by the fishing hole

The guys from Airy are back for a fishing tourney and more musical fun times! Joining them are Franny and little Ellie May, both who are enjoying the camp very much. It's been forever since I've seen the two so it's been great catching up with them.

Ellie May's full of spirit, she's a lot like her dad and aunt. I'm surprised that she kinda remembered me a little from when I last visited Airy, which was maybe four or five years ago - not too long before I came to the camp so around that time period. She was probably around two as she was walking and talking by then.

Sam says that Ellie May couldn't wait to come to the camp so she's been marking down the days until the tourney on the calendar. It's no surprise that she's into the great outdoors like her parents. At home she would tag along with Sam, Buddy, and Storm on their fishing trips at Sawyer Lake right outside town. And like the guys, Ellie May has a knack for fishing.

Franny's a bit of an outlier as she's not an avid fisher, but she does like hanging out with the guys. Though it's more so she can keep an eye on them. Buddy and Storm have a way of attracting trouble while Ellie May has Sam wrapped around her finger so it's up to Franny to be a couple steps ahead when their antics drive them up a wall.

What I love about Franny is that on the outside she looks like the kind of person who's got her shit together - the sole braincell of the gang. Independent, intelligent, creative, badass - there's a reason why she's a force to be reckoned with. Though on the inside she's just as crazy and eccentric as the others - and that's why everyone looks up to her.

While fishing, we got to talking about what's been going on in Airy. Ellie May's on the soccer team at school and taking piano lessons with a neighbor. Sam and Franny's dad is semi-retiring from the Airy Gazette, which is slowly phasing out newspapers to go completely online by next year. The community choir album is progressing while In Hopes and Dreams is a hit, prompting Storm to work on recording more music. Buddy's running the gas station/auto shop as usual. Franny is filling prescriptions and keeping up with current events. Sam's balancing town council and home life as well as dabbling as a songwriter.

Airy's one of those small towns that has adapted and changed over years while still retaining its heart. People like Franny, Sam, Ellie May, and Buddy are rooted firmly to their town, their families having been there for generations. Franny and Sam's grandpa, Andy Beryl, was a well known townfolk. He was the good samaritan, the kind of guy who takes the time to help others and actively worked to make the town a better place. There's a plaque in the courthouse dedicated to him in the office where he worked - it was brand new when I last visited.

We also got to talking about Andy Beryl a bit as it's been almost ten years since his passing. Imagine if he had lived a few more years he would've gotten to know Ellie May. Sam and Franny speak highly of him, talking about fond memories of him telling stories of the shenanigans he and his friends got up to in town. Among his friends included Buddy and Storm's grandpa, who was also known for getting into sticky situations that involved Andy stepping in to save the day.

Being part of the town council, Sam and Franny feel a sense of responsibility for the town. Since taking on the role of head council, Sam has kinda followed in his grandpa's footsteps - even mirroring his life in a way. Along with being the go-to person in town, Sam, like Andy, is also a single parent who's trying their best. The Beryls hold pride in their family name but at the same time avoid putting it up on a pedestal. After all, they're regular folks just like everyone else - something that seems to get muddled over the years but the message's clear enough. They have a legacy that they're proud of and want to keep it up, to make things even better for the next generation.

Speaking of generations, what's interesting about Airy is how different things were thirty years ago. During Andy's time, the town was mostly white - English, Irish, Scottish, German - most who have been living there for generations. Now most of the people in Airy are mixed, mainly white and Asian like the present company. Sam and Franny's father, Andy's son, married his college sweetheart, a Cambodian immigrant. As a result, Sam and Franny grew up with a mix of both cultures and know how to speak Khmer. It's fun seeing them bickering in their second language, because even if you don't understand what they're saying, at least you get what's going on.

(Also I'm lowkey jealous of how well they speak Khmer. I can barely hold a basic conversation, plus my pronunciation totally butchers the language. They say theirs isn't that great either but compared to mine, it's nothing. Sorry Mom, I'm trying but Khmer is hard.)

And as for Ellie May, her mom, Ellie, was born from Mexican immigrants. Ellie's parents visit often so Ellie May's picked up Spanish from them, making her trilingual. It seems early, but her grandparents want Ellie May to have a quinceañera, though before we know it, that day will come soon! It's good to see Ellie May proud of her heritages as well as showing off her impressive language skills!

Again, I find it interesting how much the demographic? culture? of Airy has shifted so much over the past 30-40 years, which is basically Sam, Franny, Buddy, and Storm's generation. Pretty much everyone around their age is born from a longtime Airy townfolk and an immigrant. I wonder how much more Airy will change with Ellie May's generation.

In between fishing sessions, we did a bunch of fun activities. Buddy was in his element at OK Motors tinkering with engines. He's a bit unconventional when it comes to fixing cars but he's got his ways. Storm messed around with engines too while looking for songwriting inspiration. He and Sam have written a couple songs over the past few weeks so they'll be dropping by the island in the near future to record. I'm happy that Storm's getting back into writing music, especially now that things are finally working out in his favor in terms of creative control.

Franny and Ellie May enjoy hiking and foraging, they've gathered a lot of berries so we're gonna be making something with them. We're debating on whether to make a pie or a bunch of little tarts - either one sounds good. Sam brought his guitar, prompting spontaneous jam sessions throughout the camp. Like Storm, he's been getting into music too, especially since discovering his talent as a lyricist. We've heard live performances of the new songs - Out of Reach, Dandelions, and Where the Ferns Grow - all which sounded fantastic. Hopefully there's more where that came from.

Since working on In Hopes and Dreams, Sam has also been seeing a counselor. With the song being about grief and loss and now that Ellie May's become more curious about her mom, Sam finally realized that he needed help. Talking about Ellie has been difficult but he knew that he can't keep avoiding it forever, especially for Ellie May's sake. I haven't known Ellie for long but her absence is felt, which I think says a lot about her.

While the others fished, Franny collected seashells and took a bunch of pics. Sam managed to catch a lot of doubles as well as a shark during the off hours. Despite almost getting yeeted in the middle of the ocean, he managed to drag the shark to shore - with our help, of course. Ellie May drew a cute sticker for him that says "I fought a shark and won!" with a funny doodle to go with it, which he stuck on his jacket for all to see. The two have such a sweet bond, it's fun seeing Sam carry Ellie May up on his shoulders as they laugh and run around the camp.

Earlier today we took a short hike along the thornberry trail behind the camp. That probably wasn't the best idea as the path's kinda narrow and we had to watch out for thorns. Sam had to go after Ellie May, who was running around, and both ended up stuck in a bramble bush. Thankfully their injuries are nothing serious, but they looked painful. As soon as they took off, Franny knew that something like that was gonna happen as both have a tendency to be too curious while easily distracted. It doesn't matter how grown up you are, the older sibling never stops being the caretaker for the younger one.

Just for the record, Ellie May was a lot braver than Sam - and she has more scrapes and bumps than him. Though for him, it's less the pain and more that the sight of blood puts him off. There's a reason why Franny followed their mom's footsteps to study medicine and he didn't.

Aside from that little mishap, everything else has been going well. Franny, Daisy Jane and Norma made fish pies that turned out great. They're basically like seafood chowders with a puff pastry layer on top. Stu and Buddy helped Reese and Cyrus build a gazebo that's ready to paint so that's what we're gonna do tomorrow. Storm, Candi, and Tipper hung out at Sunbust Island and harvested coconuts to make smoothies. Sam and Ellie May helped me run errands while sightseeing and stocking up on supplies. Just another fun and busy day at the camp!

In between those activities, we met up at the beach for another round of fishing. The tourney fish seem to gravitate towards the area near the cliff so we called that spot the fishing hole. It's a nice area to be situated in, kind of like our own little nook in the ocean.

[dc41896]

Happy New Year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS!!!! Hope this year brings unlimited success, an overabundance of positivity, and growth to all of you :)!! So this is a combination of an idea I had with a prompt idea submitted by @lovelymari4​ who mentioned the reader going to Germany and running into Florian. Hopefully you, and everyone who reads this, like what I came up with!! (P.S. If you guys ever see me use the same name twice for different imagines, my bad I forget the names I use sometimes lol)

Pairing: Florian Munteanu x Black Reader 

Warnings: None 

Word Count: 2,171

“Y/N! Take our picture in front of this fountain please?,” your best friend, Daya, asks posing with her boyfriend Zeke. Taking pictures of the couple was pretty much your job during your trip to Germany seeing that you were the dreaded “third wheel”. 

Not that you really minded being the third wheel, both Daya and Zeke were your close friends and times with them were always fun. Well, fun in those times when you weren’t feeling the effects of being single. Seeing that it was New Years Eve, everywhere you guys went had decorations and flyers advertising about parties and how you didn’t want to be stuck at home alone. 

Plus walking around a foreign country viewing beautiful statues and historical landmarks as the snow lightly fell around you made you wish that you could share that experience with someone like how Daya and Zeke were. 

“Alright, I took multiples so hopefully you guys like them,” you answer, standing up from your squatted position as you hand Daya her phone back. 

“Thanks Y/N! And I trust you, you know my angles unlike someone,” she answers tilting her head towards Zeke.

“Hey I take good pictures! You just don’t like them.”

“Right so are they really good pictures then?,” she asks, squinting her eyes as if she’s trying to figure out an answer to her own question. 

“I mean the ones I take of myself get a good amount of likes so I would say so,” he counters with a smirk as you laugh at their discussion.

“Yea yea whatever. Y/N do you want some pictures too?,” she asks.

“Nah not this time, we can keep going-,” you start before being cut off by someone bumping into the back of you, causing you to stumble forward before being steadied by your friends. 

“Um who the-?!,” you thought as you turned around to see who (or what honestly) hit you. Seemingly towering over you, you’re met with a muscular man wearing dark jeans, Nike’s, and a leather jacket lined with a soft material covering a black long sleeve shirt. His brown beard was soft and just as thick as his body, while his green eyes seemed to capture your soul, but not in an intimidating way, like you wanted to keep looking into them for as long as you could.

“I’m so sorry! Are you okay?,” the mystery man asked in a deep, accented voice, slightly bending down to look in your eyes.

“No you’re fine! I mean fine like you don’t have to apologize because I’m fine not because you’re fine. I mean you are but-,”

“What my friend is trying to say is that she’s ok,” Daya answered looking at you amused by how you were acting.

“Yea that.”

“That’s good. I was recording a story for Instagram and my friend here failed to notify me in time that someone was there. I know very dumb and again I’m really sorry,” he replies, cheeks slightly red from embarrassment.

“It’s ok, just maybe don’t try to post and walk at the same time. Especially with people around,” you softly laugh, along with him and your friends. 

“I’m Florian by the way, and this is my friend Leon,” he introduces as his equally fit friend moves forward to shake all of your hands. 

“Nice to meet you, I’m Y/N and these are my friends Daya and Zeke.” 

“Nice to meet you guys. Well, we don’t want to hold you up from what you guys had planned next, so hope you guys have a great day and Happy New Year!,” Florian smiles.

“Thanks and Happy New Year to you guys too!,” you smile before you and your friends turn to continue your sight seeing. After only a few steps, you hear Florian calling your name as he jogged to catch up you.

“You dropped your um…lip gloss?,” he states handing you the small tube and making you smile.

“Yea lip gloss and thanks, this is my favorite one so definitely don’t want to lose it.”

“And we wouldn’t want that to happen. I mean not we as in us, like I know you like it and I think it’s pretty and probably looks good on you too-,”

“It’s ok I know what you mean,” you giggle as he softly chuckles. There’s a small silence between the two of you. With his hands in his pockets as he slowly shifts from one side to the other, you could tell he wanted to say something else, but something was stopping him from getting whatever it was off of his mind. 

“Hey I don’t want to seem creepy or anything, which honestly that statement in itself probably makes it creepy so this already isn’t going well,” he begins, pausing to laugh to himself and mentally grateful that you laughed too. “I was wondering if you and your friends had plans for tonight? Because if not, me and Leon are going to this party for New Years, and a bunch of our other friends are gonna be there, so you guys are more than welcome to join.”

“Um thanks that’s really nice of you to invite us! I’d have to ask them first though to see what they might be thinking.”

“Yea of course! Definitely think about it and I’ll give you my number so I can text you the address and everything if you guys decide to come,” he smiles as you pull out your phone. You had to admit watching his giant hand type on your phone was pretty funny. He didn’t have any problems maneuvering through the screens and buttons, but still the sight of such a bulky man with this small phone in his hands was quite a look. 

“Amused by a huge man such as myself holding this small phone?,” he asks with a smirk giving your phone back. While you could hold in your laughs, the look on your face was plain as day to what you were thinking. 

“A little, but not like in a bullying or ‘making fun of’ kind of way I promise.”

“It’s alright, my friends tease me about it all the time. And speaking of friends, it looks like yours may be having a very aggressive discussion.” Looking over your shoulder, you see Daya and Zeke’s hands going back and forth as both of them try to prove their point on something probably pointless.

“They’re probably arguing over where to eat. Let me go break them up before they bring anymore attention to themselves,” you sigh. “Thanks again for my lip gloss and I promise to message you about the party.”

With a wave and a final goodbye, you both went your separate ways. You, giddy from having an experience straight out of a romantic comedy and Florian feeling just as excited, hoping that he would see you again tonight. 

______

Lightly spraying perfume around you, you walk out of the bathroom in your dark high-waist skinny jeans with black stiletto booties paired with a fitted, long sleeve, black turtleneck. Yea it was probably simple compared to the glittery cocktail dresses you were sure to see around tonight, but you were not about to risk pneumonia going out in this German winter.

“Aww look at our little girl all grown up!,” Daya gushed making you shake your head. 

“Come on D, lets not embarrass her on her first date,” Zeke smiles wrapping his arm around Daya.

“Ok, both of y’all need to calm down, last time I checked I am grown up and this isn’t my first date. Now if you’re done mom and dad we need to head out before we’re late.”

“Ok, but not before we take a group picture!,” Daya smiles before reaching her arm up to make sure all of you were in the screen and snapping a picture of your smiling faces.

Arriving at the hookah lounge that Florian sent, you see the man himself standing outside now clad in a red hoodie, dark jeans, and a different pair of Nike’s. The street light above made his thick, gold chain gleam more so than it already was as he occasionally shifted from one side to the other with his hands behind his back.

“Hey, you didn’t have to wait out in the cold for us,” you greet as the three of you walk up to him.

“I know, but it’s easier this way so I can show you where we’re sitting versus trying to text it to you,” Florian responds with a smile.

“Woww thick, sweet, and looks like Hercules reincarnated? Sis marry him or I will!,” Daya whispers to you while you all follow him to the section him and his friends were seated.

“Can the man ask me out first? Better yet, can we get confirmation that he actually likes me?,” you whisper back, softly laughing at how your friend was basically trying to marry you off.

“What do you think this is?! Yea it’s not one on one, but open your eyes because he definitely asked you out it’s just in a group setting.”

Shaking your head, you direct your attention towards Florian as he introduces you to the rest of his friends seated on the plush couches. Meeting his crew made you truly understand the saying, ‘birds of a feather, flock together’ as all of his friends were equally as good looking and fit as he was. They also were just as nice immediately including you guys in their conversations and asking questions getting to know you. 

Seated next to Florian, you both took turns talking with your friends and maintaining your own conversation. You found out he was an actor and lived in Germany, which would explain why he didn’t seem fazed when standing outside in the cold. 

You also saw how down to earth and caring he was, which of course made you even more attracted to him and was something you didn’t want to happen. Not that you weren’t open to a relationship, it’s just long distance relationships were tough and came with plenty of challenges. That is if you guys became an actual item.

“Guys it’s almost time!,” Daya excitedly squeals, before joining Zeke at the bar to grab a glass of champagne.

“So if you don’t mind me asking, what’s something you wanna get out of the new year?,” Florian asks, green eyes seemingly hypnotizing you from how much attention he was giving you.

“This is probably gonna be really boring, but the basics as far as health, positivity, success. But what I’m most concerned about, is whatever is meant for me making it’s way to me for the next year, decade, and rest of my life,” you answer, twisting the stem of your own champagne glass between your fingers, making the liquid lightly swirl. “What about you?”

“Definitely more success and health, and I just hope to spend as much time with my family and friends as I can.”

Just as he finishes, you hear people around starting to countdown from 10 signaling that the New Year would be coming soon. Both of your groups stayed seated as the timer on the screens around went back from five and eventually got to zero making everyone yell out “Happy New Year!”

You hugged Daya and Zeke, before they turned to each other to have an infamous New Years kiss, which was on the minds of the other couples there as well. That was always the awkward part about New Year’s Eve parties. It seemed that everyone around you was glued to someone else’s face, while you stuffed yours with snacks. 

Setting those thoughts aside, you turn to hug Florian and wish him a Happy New Year, to which he does the same; kissing you on the cheek and making you giggle as you squirm back a bit.

“Sorry, my beard’s a bit ticklish,” he laughs instinctively reaching his hand up to lightly graze his beard. 

“No it’s ok,” you smile. In that moment, it was as if both of you were on the same wavelength as you both leaned in to meet the other’s lips. Lightly caressing your head with his hand, your hands find their way to his hoodie softly clutching the fabric as if to not ruin it. As you both pull apart, part of you is amazed at the fact that truly just happened while the other wishes it never stopped.

“You got some uh gloss on your lips,” you say, giggling as you hand him a napkin. Letting out a deep chuckle, he wipes the product from his lips before discarding the paper on the table in front of him. 

“Is that the same lip gloss I handed you earlier?”

“Yea, why? You’re not allergic are you?!”

“No no! Don’t worry, I’m just thanking God that I gave it back to you,” he winks, causing that giddy feeling to well inside of you again, as all of your friends can be heard doing various wolf whistles and shouts around the both of you. 

Taglist: @melinda-january​ @honeychicana​ @themyscxiras​ @fumbling-fanfics​ @lady-olive-oil​ @crushed-pink-petals​ @lovelymari4​ @felicity-x0​ @ellixthea​ @jojolu​ @jnk-812​ @brwn-sgr​ @captainsamwlsn​ @nina-sj​ @itshinothey​ @wildfirecracker​

If anybody else wants to be tagged, has asked to be tagged and doesn’t see their name, or only wants to be tagged for certain people I write for, just let me know! :)

[dreamlikeapsycho]

I saw the max facts (pun intended 😂) you did for that question a while ago. So I was wondering if maybe you could tell us some more facts about Max it doesn’t have to be anything too detailed but anything you know would be nice to know, pretty please 😊

Okay... RANDOM FACTS ABOUT MAX - PART 2

I went on deep analysis mode this time to try and say all of Max's little nice and cute moments I know of.. Pls take notice, tho!! I'm not trying to flex or anything, I'm just a simple peasant girl on Maximilian's kingdom for a long time and it happens I have FBI blood in my veins 😭 so It's all gather on my brain and hard drive lol SO! I'm just answering this ask with a lot of thought and care so you can know more about Max and how he is even more awesome than you think!!! (And just in text form, cause Max doesn't need to be tagged on more personal stuff on IG (there’s too much illegal fishing at my tumblr pond already! 👏). It’s probably weird to know certain things, yes, but at least I'm respectful, I'll never bother him with this kind of stuff). Well, enjoy the bible below to end up knowing very little about him, still haha.. Just some more small facts.

- Max was at a barbecue just yesterday. It was someones birthday from the set of his new movie. He drank his beer, like usual, idk about the meat.. there was wurst and chicken.. I'm not sure if he's trying to be a vegetarian or not (after that thoughtful video he posted) 🤔.. maybe he didn't eat it, I don't know!!

- a little while before the start of this shooting, he was at the Baltic Sea filming for the series he's gonna be in (just one episode again! Don't get your hopes too high lol he's gonna be a security guard who disappears mysteriously, so....)

- He helped his friend renovate his house a few weeks ago!! How could I forget that on the first post.. Then, he had to go to Hesse for the movie shooting, and his friend had to call another friend to come help him lmao damn

I think I could describe some videos I have then... at least there's some cool and funny stuff. (Friends himself tagged in the past and cast friends)

- Max's dad went to the same uni as him. Also, he voiced a police officer on the phone in a short film Max wrote and directed all by himself (he didn't act on it, but he was also another police officer over the phone haha). Another thing, his dad made the official music for one of his plays.

- The falafel day.. his friend was taking a piss filming Max at the shop from afar and zooming in, saying "omg, guys! I found Noah from Dark! He's right there buying falafel" lmao, then, Max is just standing there looking all wonderful with his perfect hair and such, moving his hands, scratching his chin, ordering his food, and his friend talks some more, doing like a rough Max voice "yeah yeah, I'll have that one. Good, yeah". 😂

- the day he went to take a walk in nature. His friend asks him for a cigarette, he is denied, he goes to take it anyway, Max slams his cup of tea on the table and tries to take his cigarette back and it's all black and they're just laughing lmao (I love his laugh btw, so giggly!)

There was storys posted by Max himself.. so, maybe you saw it, but it's from before dark s3 came out.

- The pigeon storys. He filmed two pigeons chasing each other at the station, one always running from the other and he captioned "me trying to flirt" haha

- He screen recorded an ad for an app that deletes people from pictures and made some joke too, I can't remember exactly what he wrote, smt like "when you break up, but still wants to keep the picture" lol also, he unfollowed like 5 people that week after posting that... hm 👀

- he posted a video of him walking in the dark with really cold wind.. you can only see his hair flying around. Also, with a mask on, another chasing a cat in a big field, and that one drinking his coffee and eating his yogurt (you most likely saw it already)

- Ohh.. His friend was playing Max's drums the other day!!! Made a lot of jokes, it was obvious he was messing around in Max's room (maybe they live together, maybe he just waters the plants lol idk). Some of the jokes were "I've been playing this drums since 1921" and "the drums and me are a perfect pair, don't ever believe otherwise". I wonder what Max said to him.. he can't do anything about it, he's not in Berlin hahah. He has a little giraffe in his room, and other home decors (you can see it on his drumming video on his own IG)

- he likes to read on longer train rides.

- there's a video of him screaming inside a wardrobe after being jumped by a friend and one of him putting lipstick on with the song "I'm a sexy motherfucker" playing in the background hehe we was tagged, it was easy to find when there wasn't much tagged post.

- There's moments of ppl filming something/themselves and he just comes and photobombs it lol he is just like thiss 👏 showing his tongue and doing a funny face and such. One of those I saw it on the IG of a Das Boot cast member I actually already followed before.

- this group was such a blast. There's a few pictures, one of them he's in a dress, he has white stockings on til his thighs, heels and all haha lovely

- His improv-group.. he was almost in tears singing "I believe I can fly" with the group on their last day.. But he was happy! A mix of emotions. He loves everyone, he expresses his love a lot to people in general, he says it and adds heart emojis to make sure haha you can see his comments going on IG of his cast friends, especially from Das Boot (I followed a lot of the guys). So, about always commenting something funny on people's posts.. I didn't saved those, so I forgot most of it, but one I remember was that someone posted a video of a hailstorm and he was like "what are u doing, free ice!! Go grab them" hahaha

- Max has that Noah picture where he's peaking by a wall (you know that one Baran posted) printed and framed! 👏

- Things he’s pretty much always with: his backpack and his big headphones (it's always on his neck. At almost every picture, from every year, with different people etc. I was confused when he had normal headphones at his farm storys. Maybe he forgot them in Berlin 😭. Besides those, his rings, necklaces and bracelets (always, for years and years! Same ones, even). He uses frequently on premieres, as I saw it. Sometimes they also show up on his characters in his one-episode works!! Hahah is so nice when that happens. You can notice this on my screencaps.

- that pic of him that is everywhere now (with glasses, holding a bottle of champagne), I posted that months ago.. There's 2 more pics and 1 video. One pic, he is pretending the automatic lighter that's on the table is a Harry Potter wand (but I think I cropped the table, right.. I can't remember). This was actually posted by Max himself and he tagged his friend who took it. I went to see if they posted smt and there was a picture where he is literally biting the cork of that bottle off with his teeth Lmaoo, and one video.. he is talking on the phone trying to block the view with his feet.. this man!!

- he really doesn't care about buying too much unnecessary clothes and shoes and stuff. He is mindful of his things and the environment!! 

- there's a video of him on the set of Der Zauberlehrling, I need to recall where I got that from (maybe I could share this one. I'm not sure), he is messing with the broom and someone asks him "hey Max, what's that animal?" and points to the fluffy microphone. He says "it's a fucked up coala bear" (in english) 😂

Again.. I can't say names or anything, cause ppl are not mindful! Like.. I know I'm probably weird, but only for myself and my FBI office LOL I don't go over there and follow/reply to all these people’s posts and storys or take their videos and tag Max on them, this is just not.... nah. I'll always be respectful (yeah, some older stuff has gifs, cause he had like 10k followers, and 5 fans on tumblr lol But i never sent/tag him in anything personal directly.. that’s why i only posted on tumblr for the past year, in fact! I never thought things would be the way they are now a year later.. so, newer stuff it's not posted/gif nor ever will). I don't want him to be weirded out and like, disappear from IG!! I think about these things.. when people are being weird and stuff towards him. I don’t know how ppl don’t think about this when tagging him recklessly in random pictures and videos!!!

I wish he had more interviews, so we could know more proper stuff about him. (The few interviews he has are translated on my IG highlight. There's still an 8min interview missing there, cause I'm contemplating about being more of a bother to german speaking people, since I only have basic german..

[kevkesblog]

Translation: Julian Brandt Interview for BVB Podcast (March 31, 2020)

ATTENTION LONG POST: probably the longest post on my blog so far. The interview went for about 32 minutes! He talks about how he spends his time at home now during the Corona-Virus, how people in his environment cope with the virus, how training goes in these special times. He also talks about the salary-cut BVB players agreed to and donations from football players and that story where he got badly sunburned in Spain once.

You can listen to the Podcast (Episode 4) with Julian here.

Well Julian, we are many meters apart. It’s a difficult time right now. How bored do you feel right now as a professional football player?

Ju:   Thankfully I have this talent – where I can always find something to do within my own four corners. I did buy myself – long before everything started – a new grill. So I trained myself to become my own grill master. And just recently I started to mix songs on my computer…. Which is something I completely suck at! 

Ok, ok… first of all: how do you train yourself to become a grill master? And you really weren’t talented in the beginning at all?

Ju:   Well sure I‘ve grilled before, but I’ve never had my own grill – neither when I lived in Cologne nor here in Dortmund. Well the weather has been good here in the past one or two weeks. And so I had this great idea – to get myself a grill, as long as I was still able to…

So you got yourself a grill for 2000 euros with five burners….

Ju    ….no, no, no. It has at least three burners (smiles). 

Three burners? 

Ju:   Yes, three burners. Well no, I mean we aren’t at a TV cooking show here but… yeah it has a nice look. 

Well you picked the topic. You have to get through it now. What stuff do you grill?

Ju:   Everything possible. I got… burgers! Really good! 

That sounds good…

Ju:   I mean if I would do this as a franchise, I would say „Five Guys“ could wrap everything up and leave (laughs).

(laughs) Ok. Well you just made some great burgers. So if you guys out there want some great burgers go to Julian Brandt. 

Ju:   Now let’s talk about music, because it’s something I can also do…

Awesome! Music is something I’m interested as well. I’m not fully into that topic, but what are you mixing? Tell us!

Ju:   Yeah, I mean I’m in contact with some guys who are at home. And we send each other many funny videos which has gone viral. And there was one video we saw with an awesome mix. It was from a young lady. Perhaps she was a DJane herself – I don’t know her though. So we thought it was really cool. And then I made myself a task and tried to replicate that mix at home. Because I had nothing to do. Yet, I reached my capacities pretty quickly… but I felt how I had developed… so yeah it was really cool and that’s where I started. Then I called one of my friends via Facetime… because I made it. And so I continued doing it.

Well we are still desperately looking for great content for YouTube, so if we can get some images of you grilling burgers, half-naked with your mixtape playing in the background…

Ju:   …with an apron, where you can see my bare ass, right?

Not that I would personally approve…

Ju:   (laughs)

(laughs)… but who knows. It will bring at least some clicks I guess.

Ju:   Well I don’t know. I have to let that go through my head.

Go head. Now seriously though: today was training. But only in pairs, with some distance to each other, so that we are following all the current rules right now. Maybe you can take us with you and explain how that works and if this is a small step forward?

Ju:   It definitely a step forward for me. It works like this: you will get assigned into a group of two. And they will appear at different times – and in different places. We have very big… how big is it? 15…

15 hectares, I think…

Ju:   …15 hectares terrain. And we have some extra space now, because the youth teams and the academy are completely shut down at the moment. So we are split up: in the youth building, in our building and we have an extra athletic tent. And we also have the footballnaut. They are all split up from each other. So that’s how the groups are split up then. In that way, we are able to get all pairs through the day. I was there at… I think 2:30pm with Tobi Raschl. We spent two hours there, and it’s definitely something different instead of doing exercises at home. But it’s absolutely better for you – for sure…

Because you need a certain pressure, when somebody is watching you? I mean it’s something different for me when I run as a hobby on my own or in a group.

Ju:   It’s a bit of everything. I mean honestly, sure: if you say I do some sport at home you do your schedule. You run. Perhaps you do some exercise… but in the end you finish after an hour or an hour and a half. Today we did a – actually more than two hour session and you have much more things you can do. I mean you have a huge pitch just for you. Sure you can do stuff with the ball. I mean I can’t do that at home here, I would shatter all glasses… and that’s also not fun at all (smiles)… So for us I would say it’s better than just being at home all the time trying to keep yourself fit.

Let’s play „make a wish“. In a situation like now where the entire country seems to be in a shutdown, with many people having fears about their livelihoods. Fears which you don’t have as football players, let’s be pretty blunt about that – but if you could play “make a wish” about your job situation, what would you wish?

Ju:   With my job situation!?

Yes. What’s your wish for next weeks ahead? How should everything continue?

Ju:   Well I can make a general assessment and I wish that everything stops very quickly. That everything goes back to normal. The baker can bake his breads; people don’t have the fear of losing their livelihoods. It’s something I would wish everybody. It’s not about my job – it about everyone‘s job. But sure, for us as football players – and I know I’m complaining on a very high level, I’m fully aware of that – but: we live for football. We’re not doing anything else. And sure we want to play again. I wish I would play in front of a full stadium again, sure! I think we have all accepted that this won’t happen anytime soon. I hope it will go forward – parallel to football. That generally people in our society can leave their flats and houses again – and return to their normal life which is something everybody is looking for right now.

How do you view your environment, your friends in this situation? How stressful is it for them right now?

Ju:   It’s actually okay. Many of my friends are students. So they’re doing a lot of video conferences right now. I saw that with my brother. It’s possible. Sure it’s different than sitting at Uni and learning there and you can’t go away – usually you get more distracted at home. Yet, I would say: the situation is easier for them at the moment. They can learn at home as well as at university. My brother can combine both – he studies in Cologne, yet he can also visit my family in Bremen. Or he has time to see my parents – or our parents. I mean they are also his parents (laughs)… I really don’t feel the current situation it with them. But sure, I know a lot of people who are car dealers for example. Or restaurant owners. That’s really something different with them, yes.

Now: it’s not like you decided to play golf or tennis – an individual sport, but a team sport instead. You are being forced now to work out individually though. What’s the sort of thing within the team you miss the most at the moment? I know, you can’t even get dressed together at the moment. Even after every session you have to take a shower at home – so everything that makes up team sports, even training together, is now gone. What do you miss the most?

Ju:   (thinks)…hmmm…. Yeah, what you miss the most is sure the chatter with the other guys, being among people, communicating. Everybody tries to stay at home. I live alone. I like to be alone – (smiles) – that is even an advantage for me! But sure – I don’t know, just a few weeks ago you could sit in a café – today you can be happy just to see six, seven or eight guys at training and chat with them. Those are things you miss after a while. And I’m quite sure, that’s how many other people are feeling at the moment, because they have to stay home. Yeah, but I’m just missing being among people, chatting, having an exchange… that’s something that revives a person. Especially for the elderly, for seniors. I mean it’s something fundamentally important, to talk with their grandkids – or children. I really have to say that’s something missing right now. But we are all in this together and you have to follow the rules.

Sure, I mean if I look at my three sons, they can play among each other and they have a garden they can play in, but there are also many people living in a three-person 60 square meter flat and can’t get out at all. And they are basically sitting on each other for such a long time now….

Ju:   …yeah definitely! Definitely!

A salary cut – a topic that came up a couple of days ago. I want to talk about this head on. How did you follow that topic and how did it all played out?

Ju:   We met on Monday last week, in two separate groups. So not as a whole team, but rather one group of German-speaking players and another group whose language is primarily English. 

At the media center of the stadium, right?

Ju:   Exactly. Not at the training center or the dressing room, but at the room where the press conferences usually are, because the room is much bigger. As well with a minimum-distance by the way… (smiles)

Oh really!?

Ju:   …we were all sitting apart from each other. So not next to each other. And so we were discussing different stuff. It was not about the salary-cut first. It was more about: how the current situation is, what is planned. We can’t really plan anything. We are still looking from Monday to Thursday… from Thursday to Monday. We don’t really have a real plan as well. We try to plan the week ahead as good as we can. Now we train in pairs until Thursday. We then have to look again after that… 

And if I can just jump in: I think the foreign-players also got a briefing about the medical situation in Germany. How many intensive care beds we have in comparison to other countries. Do you feel well accommodated? How does it look in your home countries? Has this also been a topic at your meeting?

Ju:   Well, I wasn’t there of course. But there has been medical information shared. This wasn’t so much of a topic with us, because we were already pretty much informed about. But sure, it’s important that our guys from Belgium, France or England are being told about the current situation. And… I mean you really honestly have to say: the medical standards here in Germany are very, very, very good compared to other countries in Europe. I think it’s important for our foreign players to know, because they got families and you can comfort them in a certain way. In the end, we – of course – talked about that topic „salary-cut” as well. Aki Watzke made the suggestion – and it was very clear for us that we would do this. That we will do this. In the end it’s easy: basically we players are there to help the club on the pitch. To score, to prevent goals, winning titles… but we are also there to help the club in general. And it’s the same now to help them financially in the same manner as it will be on the pitch in a couple of weeks or months, hopefully.  So in the end, we want to help in the best interests for the club. 

I can imagine the current situation is not very easy for a professional football player, from a communication standpoint. There are basically two paths: one is I donate. I give something to society and make that public. And then I look through the Instagram comments and most followers write stuff like „ohh well, that’s the amount of money he makes within 18 days or 20 days. Now he has to elevate himself into the public – does he really have to do that?“ The other path is: I donate. I support people who are in need right now, and keep it for myself. That’s something totally fine as well. But the danger is: because nobody talks about it, people say „Those millionaires! There aren’t doing anything!“ How do you classify that for yourself?

Ju:   (thinks)… hmmm….well we have in some way talked about it already. With me it’s more like – I prefer the second path. Let me be honest: I heard about the #wekickcorona which Leon Goretzka and Joshua Kimmich launched. He texted me and asked „hey are you interested in this? We will fully disclose about where the money goes to. Do you think it’s a great thing? So I wrote him after ten, fifteen seconds: „I’m in!”. That’s kind of a no-brainer for me in a certain way – like many people are demanding. However, I don’t have the feeling to be in every newspaper and make myself to some kind of hero because of it. That’s not who I am. I rather keep stuff like that to myself. Sure the fact I joined was made public by the „wekickcorona“-page – the amount of money was not mentioned. 

Yet you haven’t done anything over your channels…

Ju:   I put it into my stories for 24 hours. Because sure, it’s about generating more interest onto the page. You help the guys doing that. Yet I haven’t made great postings or announced „I’m in it with so and so much money“. It’s a thing with me, where I say: I have a good feeling for myself. Of course you will always have people, saying „I never read anything from you. You never post anything, therefore you don’t do anything and that’s why you are a guy who doesn’t show any solidarity with others and who doesn’t want to help others!” You will always have those people. And it’s okay for me. I’m totally at peace with myself. We just donated 2,5 million euros with the national team. And that’s not from the DFB bank account. It came from us players as well. Again, I don’t want to make this a bigger issue…

Well I have actively asked about it, you haven’t told me I should ask you about it, so…

Ju:   In the end, the fact that I do something is important for me. It’s generally important to do something! We just had that topic. If it’s about helping people who are helping other people. Or people…. The bakery, the best example… helping them. Or the barber, in order for them to continue their businesses. It’s important. But this sort of self-staging is nothing for me.

Let’s get back to football. You talked about the national team. There is an important tournament missing now. It’s hard isn’t it?

Ju:   Yeah… but it’s later now.

Doesn’t it make any difference?

Ju:   Whether we play this year or next year… I think it’s good; we have some sort of buffer for the league right now. And honestly that’s my personal opinion - everybody can have a different viewpoint: I think it’s important for us to finish the Bundesliga season! If possible! If the circumstances are right. If everything develops into a positive direction. Perhaps, if the local health agencies also approve everything – I would deem it as important to finish the Bundesliga season. Not because I want to play football again. But rather because it’s about keeping the league together! So that clubs can stay around. I think it’s important for people in general in Germany….

Perhaps a bit normality…?

Ju:   Definiately. But also that we won’t run into a situation with only eight Bundesliga teams – and other traditional clubs missing out because they haven’t survived. Of course, you have to assess everything carefully, of course, health is more important than football. But that’s why I say: if the local health authorities say „okay you can play football with empty stadiums“ I would think it’s important for us to have enough time in order to finish the season in May or June. That’s why I think postponing the EURO was the right decision.

Now as you probably have seen, there aren’t many employees here at the BVB offices. Everybody works from home now. So we asked some of them if they have any question for you. Of course, I would like to do that. Even if it’s just three or four questions. You can be seen on Instagram with a dog sometimes. Is it yours?

Ju:   It’s our… the dog… I mean it’s not MY dog (smiles)…she is with my family, yes. But it’s our family dog. Can you say that? A Family dog?

Family dog, yes. What race is the dog?

Ju:   A mix. A labrador-hovawart… very, very sweet! „Nala“ it’s a girl. Very, very sweet.

Good. What’s your favorite spot in Dortmund – apart from the stadium? Perhaps a spot you visit with your dog…

Ju:   I like the spot around Phoenix-See. 

I guess there are more people around that area doing sport than on our own training ground. 

Ju:   I haven’t been there too often yet. I was only there three or four times since I moved to Dortmund, seven, eight months ago. But if you know the history around the area and how they transformed a former steel mill into this nice area – it’s impressive. Having a café there is something I will look forward to.

Okay. Who among the guys do you miss the most right now? Now I’m curious to know whether you are still within in the Dortmund team or if you leap over to Leverkusen…

Ju:   (laughs)… ehmm… Can I do both. I mean I do sit next to Marco in the locker room. I mean, he was annoying – quite often (laughs).. it’s really something I missing sometimes I have to say.

Marco is annoying? How?

Ju:   Yeah, he is really a crackhead. We do and try to cheer each other up once in a while. There was this one situation which I really celebrated myself – even though I was the victim. I left my cellphone at the pitch one time, while I took a shower. And this idiot taped my cell phone onto my locker, switched the video on and left. So I my phone was filming all the time I was gone – for like 15 minutes… and it’s like total nonsense stuff all the time with him. It has no purpose. (smiles) Yet that moment was funny. And yeah… it’s something that is missing.

We had ritual at ice hockey in the past: whenever there is a new player on the team, the other teammates well how can I describe it – they basically peed into one of his shoes. 

Ju:   Well, okay those were the really hard times… (smiles)

You haven’t felt anything, and so you dove into your shoe and… it was just disgusting. Those were the times. Something like this doesn’t exist anymore, right? Like team rituals?

Ju:   If those existed, I wouldn’t tell you…. (laughs)

Aha, well you’re not as open as I thought (smiles)…

Ju:   Yeah, but sure there are a lot of guys I’m missing. Guys I want to see again. Sure there are some guys I haven’t seen for a while now in Leverkusen, a few friends in Bremen. One friend of mine is stuck in Munich right now. A guy from Bremen is stuck with his girlfriend in Munich (laughs)… he can’t leave. It’s sad.

So because you weren’t as open as I thought, you will get two heavy questions. 

Ju:   Okay.

Okay. Let‘s start: „We read that you are a great fan of musicals. The Lion King is one you like. Is that true? Why? And can you sing something for us?“

Ju:    First of all: that’s correct. And – it’s the most awesome musical out there! It’s the only one I have ever seen, but I’m pretty sure it’s the best musical of all. 

Favorite song?

Ju:   (thinks)… ehmm… 

I think, I only know „Hakuna Matata“…

Ju:   That’s awesome, right… „Er lebt in dir“ I would say. But I won’t sing it. (smiles)

Aha okay…

Ju:   Because then I have to do like cool voices, since that’s what they also do in the musical and then I would look like an idiot.

Okay. Too bad. It wouldn’t have been bad.

Ju:   But… you have never been to a musical right?

Me? Well, I mean I have been to musicals, but not „Lion King“. 

Ju:   Well, then you have missed something huge in your life (smiles). Something REALLY BIG!

But I always have to watch the movies with my kids.

Ju:   Yes, but your kids… I’m telling you… they will jump in a triangle when they see this! 

Really? Okay…

Ju:   Yeah, there is even a new musical out now. Harry Potter. In Hamburg. It was supposed to open, but it’s canceled because of the virus. Unfortunately.

Oh well, you gave me some recommondations to go to, whenever everything is over. The second question: „You are one of very few football players, without any tattoos. Is that still the case?

Ju:   That’s still correct, yes. 

Why? And why still?

Ju:   Still? Well because I have no idea what the future will hold. Sometimes I have wild thoughts, but I haven’t planned anything yet. So I think it will stay like this. Why? It became sort of a „running-gag“ now here in Dortmund. Especially on Instagram with many people wanting to see me and Marco Reus next to each other in the summer. Because we aren’t really football players who look terribly tanned, in comparison to others.

Are you sort of the guy who goes on a vacation and after three days you are totally sunburned? 

Ju:   Yeah, I have a sun burn the first two days; then it peels of and then I really look like chocolate! (laughs)… or half-chocolate (laughs)… my skin always likes to peel off (smiles)… like really bad. I remember having a really bad day once. It happened during my time in Leverkusen. We had just qualified for the Champions League two games before the season ended. So we – let me guess – had four or five days off. So I looked to [Bernd] Leno and said: „What would you say, if we just go to Mallorca for two days!“ Just to lay in the sun, of course. We stayed close to the airport. So we caught a really early flight. We went to the hotel. Just like a small hotel, where you can sleep. We went to the beach – and I fell asleep – ON MY BACK!

(laughs) awesome… the „crab“ on your back!

Ju:   I tell you: you can’t imagine what was going on on with my feet! They were totally burned! I couldn’t get into shoes for three straight days. I was walking around Mallorca with bare feet. The problem was: at some point training started again! It hurt like hell when I was shooting! (smiles)

And the coach was…

Ju:   Roger Schmidt. Funny story: he was also on the same plane with us (laughs). So I had to go through the whole „peel-process“ again and everything was fine. 

How did we end up talking about this?

Ju:   I don’t know…. How did we end up talking about this?

I don’t know! David is sitting next to us. 

Ju:   Read the question again! 

[talks to David]

Ju:   Oh yeah… tattoos! Because I’m a bit like a „light-skin“. Well, my mom sits in my neck once in a while. It’s what I said it once or twice in newspapers already. 

Oh, and she says „No“!?

Ju:   She doesn’t say „No“, she says „You can do whatever you want“. But she thinks it’s shit. She says „Believe me, everybody gets a tattoo right now! In the future you will be the only one without a tattoo and you are something special then.

It’s absolutely innovative! I mean imagine: in 50 years from now you will end up in a seniors home and you are the only one without a tattoo! 

Ju:   Up until now there is nothing planned – independently from the question whether it would fit to me or not.

So that’s it I guess. Is there anything you’d like to tell us?

Ju:   No, but I really like chatting with you. But otherwise I would drive home, sit on a chair and stare against a wall. Is there something you like to add?

No. But I can give you grill tips.

Ju:   Yeah!?

Direct grilling, indirect grilling… pizza on grill…

Ju:   Awesome!

- END - 

[mariogoetze]

blog/important update

hey lads, with the most recent absence due to covid-19 i had a lot of time to think especially in general and about my future. in that time i also thought about tumblr and blogging and after being here for almost a decade i decided now would be the right time for some major changes. you can read them right below, thank you!

i’ve been on tumblr for a long time almost a decade if you’d like to say. i’ve had the pleasure to meet a lot of nice people, sure some encounters were here and there not nice, but most of them were very good and helped me to develop on this site. honestly back then when i joined this site i really didn’t know how it worked i used 3 different tags for the same person and i wrote in my posts 2 languages going a few sentences first with german and then switching to english afterwards. luckily i’ve met a lot of great people who’ve helped me to develop on this site and helped me to grow not only as a blogger but also as a person, which i’m really grateful for. even tho this site is a hellsite i still learned a lot of things which i was unaware of before and there were also things which i managed to develop which i’m proud of. at this moment i’d like to thank all of those who’ve helped me in the beginning and those through and through my road bc they made my journey on here really amazing filled with lots of joy and also lovely moments as well, so i’m really grateful. i’ve really experienced all kind of things here the world cup 2014 was probably one of the best ones but also emotional matches were the fandom stuck together and sometimes some wins were amazing to celebrate and there were even some defeats which made the fandom closer and let’s not start with all those memes and shit posts which made the interacting really delightful.

with more time on being here and with more inspiration and motivation i received i edited through the years and it was really great. from shitposting, to making memes and to edit pictures and to create gif it was really a hell of a blast! back then when i first joined this site i thought i’d never be able to make gifs and some years later i developed which was really a special moment for me. people telling me they enjoy my edits made me really happy and all the amount of support i received meant really a lot to me. so if you’re reading this and you’ve supported me and my work then let me tell you: thank you. it really warms my heart and i appreciate it.

but to speak now about the major changes on my blog and the update itself, let me start with saying that there are 4 major reasons why the changes will happen. let’s start of with..

1. schedule - my schedule after summer will change which means that i’ll have to work quite a lot and that won’t change anytime soon. as an editor it takes quite a lot to make actually edits (depending on what you edit and how much) and i don’t think that once i come home at 6 pm that i would like to make edits for an hour or so, if you get me? i would rather relax, listening to music, perhaps go to the gym or do something else. with my new upcoming schedule in the near future it will make it hard for me to be posting much at all as i don’t really have the time for it anymore. i dealt before quite well as i had a good balance with my studying, i will continue my studying in the future but for now i will switch to my education and hopefully in the future i will finish what i started and become a teacher.

2. fandom - interacting is one of the key things on tumblr. sure you can just make your posts and go by it i mean in the end tumblr is there to space out, i’ve been enjoying my freedom and to be able to post whatever i want whenever i want and just letting my creativity full out it was really great but nowadays i feel like more and more people are dying out on tumblr, sure they are for example nice and funny people in the bvb fandom and i do enjoy them very much but i still feel like compared to 5 years ago there is a major difference. a lot of my friends have left the fandom, those were people who inspired me to post and in general to be an active part of this fandom, sure they are still great people (shootout to all my mutuals) in it which like i said above really enjoy but i still feel like we got a lot smaller and it’s kinda less fun? i mean it’s still rolling and going but with a lot less fire than it used to be.. at this point i would like to say that i’m not trying to ruin anyone’s fun i mean if you’re still enjoying what you do then that is wonderful and please keep it up. for me the fire just got smaller and the desire has shrunken tbh. i think it’s logical tho i mean when people leave you enjoyed interacting with and also the the dynamic of the fandom changes and the club also with coaches and players it does make sense. those who are currently there are doing a good job and they kept me motivated till my last breath to keep me going so i would like to thank all my mutuals for being lovely human beings. i feel like in general you need to take more care at what you write, post and say, i mean if you for example were not happy with a certain player’s performance or in general if something bothers you, you need to watch out because there could always be someone who could hate on you for doing so and that kinda sucks.

3. favre - if you follow me for a longer period of time you will know that i was never really found of him. i don’t hate him but i do dislike him for many reasons. i personally don’t see us winning a trophy with him as he’s lacking of the mentality of some other great coaches who have won some trophies recently and in the past. for me he just doesn’t fit into the system of bvb as he gives me this ‘chicken’ scared kind of vibe. the tactic changes to play with like 3/5 defenders is something i find also quite questionable that we are not able to play with just 4 defenders and also let’s not talk about that time our players were lacking off motivation. sure it’s not all the coach who is to blame but for me he’s the major reason for a lot of questionable things, decisions and results which happened in the past. now that favre said a few days ago that he wants to continue to work with bvb and zorc said that they don’t look out for a new coach i think that totally ruins it for me.

4. favorite player - now it’s official (not like that it wasn’t obvious before) but yes mario will leave bvb. obviously my heart will always beat black and yellow, but i’m really disappointed in the way how mario is leaving. after he came back and fought of his disease he has always given his all for this club. in his playertribute he wrote how after he came back he understood more the club and how the fans feel and i totally dig that as whenever he played he always showed heart and wanted to win, especially last season when he was one of the best if not the best player who alongside other players like jadon almost made it possible to capture the bundesliga title. after that amazing 2nd leg of the bundesliga what happened afterwards? he got treated like shit. benched all over and never gotten a chance to play. after 6 games of being benched and a 1+ minute sub in the ucl at the 91′ minute he played vs bremen and guess what? he scored, he provided 3 goal chances, his pass accuracy was very high and he became man of the match. favre said he played very well and what then? he got benched again. i really hate how bvb is treating him almost like as if he was just air you know and i don’t think he deserves that, i mean he has given his all whenever he got the chance to play but to treat him like this is is just very unfair. he showed that he still has qualities and can actually play well and help the offensive but not on favre’s watch.

so now with mario leaving i don’t think i will do much edits as i used to because in general it hurts me really that he is leaving i grew up with him being in bvb as a 17 yo boy who just came from the youth. now he is rotten on the bench and gets treated like shit and his last match? well i don’t know if he will even play by the amount of time favre is benching him. but one thing is to say: once he’s gone he will find a new club and finally play again and find his happiness and that makes very happy.

but back to my blog now: one of the main reasons why i joined this site is because of mario götze, my fav club and of course the love for football, to express my feelings in a different way as you know such as edits or text posts and so on. now that mario is leaving i don’t think i will be really motivated to make edits and since my schedule and tumblr itself is changed/is changing i decided it would be the right time to take a step down.

so no i’m not leaving tumblr - i just change my blogging style and activity. i will definitely make less edits, i will probably reblog much more, i will still try do to make posts here and there (if my schedule and mood allows it and is good) but i don’t think i will be any longer the blogger i used to be for a long time on this site as i think with mario leaving bvb and also with now almost a decade of difference of tumblr and all the changes with happened on this site, the fandom itself and people leaving i think it’s fitting to make this step. i joined this site when mario left bvb and now that mario is leaving again i think my active-phase of being a football-editor is coming to an end. 

i will still be around like i said, just in a different way and style. i’ve made some great friends on here and there also a lot of nice people who i still need to get to know better and to which i look forward to! i really appreciated all the support i’ve received through out my journey and i just wanted to thank you it really always meant a lot to me! my journey is now ending now and i’ve really appreciated being able to express all my creativity and feelings for such a long time with your support you’ve always encouraged me to do even more and to feel good at what i’m doing so thank you! i look forward to my new chapter as now blogging will be different to what i’m used to but regardless i look forward to it.

i’m not ded i’m just taking a step back and i’m in the second seat row now. thank you 💛

[madonna-of-meridian]

30 days of WITCHversary

 Day 11 - Something awesome

Okay, a big PRAISE to the German dub on this one. As some of my followers, who read all my extra long tags, already know – yes, I’m from Germany and therefore watched W.i.t.c.h. in German. And this is actually the good thing about it – non-english speaking countries (that have enough money to spend on film industry) put a LOT effort in dubbing movies and tv shows. Germany is one of those countries. As far as I know the two European countries whose film/movie dubs are know as the best are Italy and Germany and it SHOWS.

Because I am a language nerd, I often do switch languages on my DVDs for fun and tbh when it comes to the guardian’s voices in the English dub of W.i.t.c.h. I was like SO disappointed? Like, a lot of changes (Taranee speaking with Cornelia’s voice at times etc.) and also pretty lame acting? I remember Taranee having an eel in her shirt in episode 3 and the English voice actress did..not deliver at all? While Marie-Luise Schramm, who voices Taranee in the German dub, is like F*CK THERE IS SOMETHING HELP ME AHHHHHH. But actually she is like that the whole time, she has got sm Taranee spirit it’s awesome. Also, Blunk’s German voice was so funny and CUTE while the english one was simply..funny? But idk the german voice feels sm more in character same with Caleb who sounds like a 12 years old in the English sub xD. So enough bitching about the English sub who has it’s good things too (like phobos and Cedric are awsome in there!)

So, long story short – I love the German dub sm! (I also love some other dubs and maybe will do a post about other good dubs too at some point). So while I will save our two evil bad boys for a later day, I’m gonna list up the 5 guardians with their voice actresses now and tell you why they are so good (and I bet now everyone stops reading lol.)

Will: Magdalena Turba

Okay, let’s start with a voice I am nearly always annoyed of because I first noticed her as Will and she therefore stays Will to me. As I said before, I am by far no fan of show!Will and I think things would have been better if Will had a cuter voice in the German dub? But on the other hand Magdalena’s voice is very fitting: she is confident and strong and also catches Will’s bossy moments very well.

Memorable roles: She is also the German voice actress of Amanda Seyfried and I still connect my childhood with Magdalena because she voiced Cera in the A Land Before Time movies (BEST CHILDHOOD MOVIES EVER FIGHT ME).

Irma: Esra Vural

She was sm Irma it is not even healthy anymore xD I once read an interview with Esra in which she said how much she enjoyed voicing Irma and you really FEEL that when you hear her. She got all the emotions so right as if she really was the character herself.

Memorable roles: Another very Irma-like character she voices was Clawdeen Wolf from MH. She is also the German voice actress of Ashley Tisdale. (And now compare a Sharpay Evans to Irma Lair – NO similarities and still she got both characters on point!).

Taranee: Marie-Luise Schramm

Oh, my baby! She makes Taranee such a cute sweetheart. She really catches Taranee’s nervous personality in all the little scenes so well. I think I am more a fan of her acting frightened than the brainy part because the first one makes Taranee sm human if that makes sense? She has got her flaws and still keeps on fighting. And Marie-Luise catches those emotions very well imo.

Memorable roles: Toph Bei Fong from Avatar (also MY GIRL) but she does sm stuff

Cornelia: Anna Predleus

Now, while Cornelia has got a mature voice in almost EVERY dub, the German dub was like: Hell no? She’s the shopping girl? She’s blonde? She needs a high voice. But..it works? Like people complain that Cornelia was too much of a bitch in the show, agreed but she still has got a brain and is still very mature and smart? I mean being a shopping girl doesn’t automatically make you dump. I guess they made Cornelia that way in the show because she was pretty unlikeable in the comics – especially in the first issues. So in the show she might have been bitchy but at least she still was FUN lol. So that is why I like Anna’s voice as Cornelia, yes it is no deep voice but it still fits the character in a different way. I also really liked her acting when it came to Elyon’s situation.

Memorable roles: Especially from my childhood: Gemini Stone from Sabrina – The animated series and Gina Lash from Angela Anaconda xD

Hay Lin: Carmen Katt

Now, she is the only one which I only connect with Hay Lin. Her voice was pretty high and “airy” but still might seem more mature than in other dubs. She really got the weird character of Hay Lin very well and I really like how she feld inside the character if that makes sense? Like, Hay Lin always got that little side-kick quotes and Carmen wasn’t simply reading them out but putting a lot Hay Lin spirit and it - is a bit like in Irma’s case – she really WAS Hay Lin. Like, she was the whole person, all emotions all states Hay Lin went through were on point. Be it her being very enthusiastic about being a guardian, or doing her art stuff or being hopeless in s2 when Yan Lin becomes brainwashed by Nerissa. I love her sm, my little baby girl. (Yes, I LOVE HAY LIN WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT).

Memorable roles: I just looked her up and was like WTF she voiced Cleo de Nile (fhjdjsjlskl) from MH and RIAS GREMORY IN HIGHSCHOOL DXD  xD  and also Raven Queen in Ever After High. Lol, this women has got talent.

 And last but not least I want to talk about ELYON

Elyon: Julia Meynen

Omg, she was SO on POINT. I know, I said that before but Julia as Elyon OMG. I really LOVE how she got the emotions of the lost and angry Elyon in episode 01.14 Parent’s Night. Like, she can go from super friendly and cutesy to absolute terrifying mad like she is in 01.23 when confronting the guardians. She plays Elyon from the nice bf of Cornelia to the brainwashed princess and Julia played is so believable. Again, I use the word emotions here a lot, but Julia’s job as Elyon really gives me goose bumps.

Memorable roles: As for my childhood I’d put here Honoka Yukishiro from Pretty Cure and Sunburst from Barbie: Magic of the Rainbow and also Mami Tomoe from Puella Magi Madoka Magica.

Of course ALL voice actors if W.i.t.c.h. are GREAT and I will come back to this topic on day 19 xD

And now, everyone who read till here but a heart in the comments xD

[iwannawritepls]

Writing Update 05

Guess who finished. guess. go on guess. That’s right it was me!!

It was pretty intense because my playlist had finished and so I was sat feverishly typing the last paragraph out in silence and then when I went round for the final spell check I was listening to Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths and it finished as I finished and it was a moment.

So so so. in total we have

69069 words (nice) and 102 pages spread over 23 chapters and 5 parts. I can actually go into the plot and stuff now too because I know what that is from start to finish. I won’t go into that here I’ll just talk about the last chapters. Buckle up this ones gonna be long.

Whence last we left off there were 17 chapters and now there’s twenty-three. Chapter seventeen also has an actual name too so yay.

Chapter 17 – Pinches of Catgut

Chapter 18 – Yours Forever, Echo

Chapter 19 – Ink’s Tarnish

Chapter 20 – Red Room

Chapter 21 – Crosshatched Scars

Chapter 22 – Chasing Sundust

Chapter 23 – Amen

Chapter 17 originally is now what chapter 18 and chapter 23 isn’t really an epilogue but it also is y’know? Like the last two chapters are the endings in their own right (I say as if I didn’t stop reading The Darkest Minds seven pages from the end)

But c’est la vie!

Chapter 16 (I can finally explain this stuff woo) we had the fallout to the guy’s being told they have to pay the devil – who isn’t really the devil and is actually a god in his own right but that’s beside the point – back for everything he’s done for them. this one focuses on Valentine and Albert having a bit of a moment where I realised ‘oh gosh everyone is a foil to everyone oh gosh’

Chapter 17 is kinda the same but from William and Basil’s side where they have their own conversation about who Will killed Charlie by accident….yeah…William is still baby he just killed someone that’s fine. This is fine.

Chapter 18 is where shit hits the fan because oh my god James is back!!!!! Idk if I mentioned this but James is Enoch’s dead bf who wasn’t dead at all and I’ve been hinting at it the entre god damned book. I almost didn’t include it but after a talk with one of my friends I realised that James’ being alive would bring in more tea than ever before and well,,,,,,why wouldn’t I?

Oh yeah James also tells Enoch that everyone is coming to find them.

The way I'm explaining this seems like stuff just happens, but I swear I do add threads throughout! I'm just disjointed in my thought process.

Chapter 19 is the beginning of the end. We have a rush to pack as they’re trying to get out and they would have more help from James but Basil doesn’t trust James, Enoch is drunk, William has lost a lot of blood and both Al and Valentine had been asleep so they’re slow and groggy and it’s raining because England and winter and the coast is just a great combination.

Enoch and James end up going ahead cus people are getting close and they need to get their stuff away from there. There were three cases left to tie but they didn’t have time so while James and Enoch go ahead the others are carrying the last three cases to the docks so they can tie and run.

Chapter 20 is where Enoch wraps his beef with Aristide up. kinda. He originally planned on just saying goodbye but then stuff happens and he feels bad for Aristide so he just gives him to the devil without the murder part of it.

Chapter 21 valentine kills his uncle and gets closure™

Chapter 22 this chapter is so good. I love it, I love it so much. I'm still kinda feeling funky about it because its got a flashback and the rest of the book hasn’t got anything exactly like this – unless you consider the small titbit in chapter 17 a flashback. But I really delve into Sebastian’s psyche and before then I kinda hated Sebastian but it feels like he's had a whole ass character arch and I love it. I really love this chapter so much.

And finally chapter 23 is them running and the last of the setup for the next book

I want to include memes but they’re all old stuff. If I have anything new, I’ll insert it if not I’ll keep 5 random facts about the boy’s as my transition.

Albert

When he was a bab he wanted to meet keats before he realised the mans is dead.

Can write in shorthand in both Russian and English just so long as he doesn’t focus too hard on it

Albert is his middle name, Lyonya is his first name

Is a cat person.

Orders the same meal at every restaurant even if they don’t serve it. if they don’t serve it he has a tiny crisis.

Also defo has one of the others order for him

Basil

Defo a gifted and talented student if he was alive today

He's technically an accountant and low key enjoys it

Can fight but is a pacifist by choice

Skipped class once and got bored and never did it again

When they were still at school he would look after the groups deeds to land and do all the legal stuff for them because they had no clue. He still has all of Valentine’s papers and so could technically steal valentines land and nobody would care.

Enoch

Isn’t gay is actually bisexual

Is really good at science but just doesn’t care about it

He ate leek and potato soup exclusively for three weeks on a dare

Once played Mercutio and tripped on stage. Managed to hide it pretty well but hasn’t lived it down.

Would live in an old theatre if he could just for the aesthetic and bragging rights

Valentine

His family is of German heritage

Bakes as a stress relief but gets hyper focused on one thing for ages (tarts is the big one of the year)

Is the mum of the group but wouldn’t ever admit it

Cannot do maths for shit. or much else. He can just speak a lot and paint.

It’s a continuous joke irl and in novel universe that he’s called Valentine, but his birthday is on February 15th because his parents thought it was still February 14th when he was born.

William

Allergic to honey but would eat it anyway

Joined classes three years after everyone else

Is the only one in the group that understands people

Has a really bad centre of gravity and falls over a lot

He's 6’7

Bonus – a wild Sebastian appeared.

Acts 50 is 20

Is just brine

In a constant state of identity crisis

Was he born or did he just appear fully formed? Nobody knows

Always stuck as Benvolio. No matter what. forever. He hates it.

Excerpts! –

“you are a walking disaster.” Basil sighed

“I'm your favourite disaster though.” He could hear the smile in Enoch’s voice.

I just like these lines. Nothing too deep just thought they were funny.

Basil placed a hand on his knee hoping the rain could drown out what the music that followed William could not.

My mans being a supportive friend

He finished pulling the manuscript together and reached for the box Albert kept all his current writings in. it was a small box with darker patches between the broken veins where ink had spit and flowed between the cracks.

i have nothing to say about this 

They only had real tenderness with some of the fragile things. A school given copy of A Midsummer Night's Dream, a book by a man called Sashenka Potemkin, teacups with still blooming meadows painted onto them, a book about a monastery, a violin case that had nail marks embedded into the leather, an easel.

Y’know keepsakes are Important but if you’re running shouldn’t you pack light? Probably but these guys are sentimental bastards

The shops were alive with people, the two pubs were open and selling even the tailoress was in business. He wasn’t entirely surprised; worms came out during a storm. They thrived when the squawking of the gulls had disappeared.

We live in a society – Enoch 2019

The gate yielded under his hand, the closest he got to acceptance in the high walls. It seemed colder once he’d walked into the threshold, urging him towards the sickening feeling of unbelonging that sat in his gut. It made him want to turn away and never come back some of the time. How much he didn’t belong there.

Sebastian is yearning™

Basil reached into Albert’s pocket and pulled the crocus out. Albert didn’t react as he did so. he stared at it twirling it between his fingers staring at the petals and their untarnished glory despite having been used to kill them all at least once.

And while that isn’t the last line that’s the end of this. I'm taking a break from beginning anything big and while I want to move onto writing Adalius, Ariane and Adionis’ story I’ll wait for a moment before I do. just because I cant bring myself to think about how I'm starting this yet.

Anyway. That means no updates for at least 3 weeks. I know you’re all distraught. But yeah.

I hope you have a good day.

Thanks for reading this!

BYEEE!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #274

“now i can hear the marching feet / they’re moving into the street”

What color was the last swimsuit you wore? I only have a black one. Is your dream job attainable? I mean define “dream job.” I’d ideally be a meerkat biologist if I was willing to live in Africa and could handle even mild heat, but I can’t/won’t do either of those, so it’s not obtainable to me. I’d also love to be a paleontologist if I could travel and handle heat once more, but again, I can’t. My only *attainable* dream job is being a photographer, which I am aiming for. I’d LIKE to focus on nature/wildlife photography, but that’s unlikely to be able to support me, so. Do you have to go to school or work tomorrow? N/A Have you slept for longer than usual today? Yes, but only because of my nightmares. I tend to take at least two (though sometimes one) hour-long naps during the day because if I wake up once during the night, as I usually do, I’m fucked because I’m very likely to have an intense nightmare. It seems like the medicine I’m on wears off with consciousness, I guess. I only allow myself to sleep an hour at daytime because my mother has noticed if I have a nightmare, it’s usually no earlier than one hour into sleep. Even then I still have them occasionally. Have you ever taken classes for a musical instrument? Recorder in elementary school was necessary for whatever stupid reason, and then I played the flute for years. Out of school, I took guitar lessons for a while. I got semi-decent (at best I could do the intro to “Crazy Train” at normal speed, I think), but it didn’t last because it was annoying/time-consuming to build up the calluses that make playing painless, I was really bad at overthinking where my fingers were, and I just wasn’t invested quite enough. I’ll tell you, it gave me mad respect for guitarists, that shit isn’t easy by any means. Have you ever been on vacation with someone other than your family? Yes, though it was brief. I was a kid (okay, pre-teen, w/e) still in my separation anxiety from Mom phase and it was literally because of me we had to go home. I still feel shitty about it, though no one seemed upset at me. How old do you think you’ll be when you move out on your own? Who the fuck even knows anymore. Do you have a job? If so, where do you work? If not, do you want one? No; N/A; yes ultimately but no at the current moment because I have to keep watch over Mom. If you wear make-up, which brand of foundation/powder do you use? N/A Would you call yourself a “people” person? Nope. What is one change you need to make in your life this month? Just one??? What’s been tugging on your heart lately? My PTSD plus self-image has been very, very bad. What is the last thing you did that made you feel guilty? Mom had to clean up my cat’s projectile vomit even though she’s supposed to stay away from this kinda stuff through chemo. I literally cannot fucking touch vomit, never mind what came out of him that night. I felt like absolute fucking shit and I still do because WOW I’m a great adult right!! Do you have any physical traits that are bothering you lately? Like, everything. What kind of dog is your favorite? I’m biased to beagles. What was the last thing you received in the mail? A book. What is the last thing you wrote? Like, physically? My signature at the doctor’s office. Do you still care about the person you first kissed? Way fucking more than I should. Do you require a lot of private time? Definitely more than most people. Do you have any songs currently stuck in your head? I haven’t listened to it in forever for ~reasons~, yet “The Mortician’s Daughter” is stuck in my head badly and really needs to fuck off. What was the last song you downloaded? I dunno, I went on a download binge a while back. Have you ever read a really funny book? I remember at least one. “Bite Me” by IDR-Who. Some vampire satire. Have you ever done something humiliating while drunk? Never reached the point of being drunk. How would you react if your celebrity crush came to your door? fuckin YIKES I am NOT attractive rn go away Has your mom/dad ever walked in on you kissing or anything more with someone? HAHA my mom has always had the decency to knock, not so much his mom a;lwkejrewoei but the answer’s still no. What electronics are in your room? (DVD player, CD player, etc) This laptop, my phone, a Nintendo DS, my iPod… Do you have a box anywhere with special items you'll to keep forever in it? Yes, actually. Grew up calling them “treasure boxes.” Do you have any pictures of yourself on your bedroom walls? Lol no, I’d definitely prefer to not see myself as much as I can. That sounds melodramatic, but I’m being serious. It either depresses me or makes me angry. Does your dad collect anything? The Cleveland Browns’ football team stuff, for one. Maybe Carolina Hurricane stuff, too? Idk. I don’t live with him and don’t go in his “man cave” at his house often ha ha. What's better, a desktop or laptop? Explain. A laptop. Portable; that’s all the explanation ya really need. Do your parents still hide chocolate eggs around on Easter for you? Nah. What do you typically do on Easter Day? We go to my sister’s house to watch the kids do their egg hunting and open their gifts, then we usually go to Ashley’s in-laws’ for dinner. Is there anyone you literally need to exist? Apparently not. Thought so. Never let yourself into that state of mind. What would you prefer to get from a guy/girl: flowers, a hand-written poem, a picture he drew of you or a nice night out? Oh, a hand-written poem would wreck me, yeesh. Or a drawing. But any would be very sweet. Do you remember why you made the last mistake you did? I don’t know the most recent mistake, but probably because I’m just in general a terrified person who second-guesses or overanalyzes everything. Did you check how many calories the last thing you ate had? Yes. I’m back on my calorie-counting obsession again. Are your nails long or short? Short, always. I can’t keep them long. What is your favorite kind of cookie? Just the ordinary chocolate chip is fine. What was the last compliment you received? I don’t know. Who will be the next person you kiss? I normally delete this question because the answer should be so obvious, but I feel like just pointing it out that no one fucking knows who they’re gonna kiss next. It’s a dangerous mindset. Don’t make assumptions about what you’ll have even tomorrow. Have you ever made your own icon? Yeah, on many sites. They’re just about always just edits, though, not truly original work. What color is your computer mouse? It’s black. Have you ever been sung to on your birthday in a restaurant? Yes. Do you like black olives? I don’t like olives period. Do you actually think there will be a zombie apocolypse? Personally, no. I do think it’s scientifically possible, we already see this in insects, but I just don’t imagine it happening to humans before we’re our own downfall. Do you like the person you’ve become over the past years? Fuck no. Have you ever gone to church just to get a significant other? … No…? Have you ever punched a wall out of complete anger? No, that shit is terrifying. Are you really ticklish? YES don’t fucking touch me. How do you decide what you're going to eat each day? I just follow what I’m craving that day. How are you similar to your siblings? Different? Compared to Ashley and Nicole at least, I can’t think of any real similarities off the top of my head. They’re intelligent, motivated, outgoing, successful, yada yada, then there’s me. What's your favorite type of non-fiction literature? Autobiographies by people I’m actually interested in. Do you believe in souls? Soulmates? Souls, absolutely. Soulmates, no. It’s fairytale ideation to think your soul has a perfect match with another, hate to break it to ya. Favorite soundtrack? BITCH don’t make me choose between Shadow of the Colossus and Silent Hill 2. Fucking masterpieces. Pianos or guitars? *shrugs* Depends on the music and my mood. Did an animal ever bite you? Never seriously. How many languages do you speak? Only English fluently. I’m poor at German by now. Wiggly worms or bumble bees? Worms gross me out, bees are Good Boys. Religion? I don’t really identify with any. I just believe there’s some form of ultimate intelligence and essences beyond just the body, and that’s all I even pretend to know. Fog, thunder, or rain? Fog gives me that Silent Hill Vibe *Italian kiss* What regret keeps coming back to haunt you daily? The way I treated Jason after the breakup. If you could cure yourself of one allergy, what would it be? Damn pollen. Do you know anyone else with your name? Yeah. What would you be most afraid of happening if you were to visit Africa? Viruses or botflies. Where are you tempted to move to sometimes? I very legitimately want to live in Canada by now, but I won’t because I’m not moving that far from family. Who seems like they have the perfect life? I try not to make that assumption of anyone. Do you ever take pictures of negative moments? Does taking pictures of roadkill count???? lmao probably Do you think it would be a good idea to post photos of negative moments as well as positive? Well… I guess it depends. Like ngl, the pictures some people share of them having panic attacks to just show how fucking real they are definitely touch you, as do those depicting poverty, etc., BUT I really do think there are limits and also differences in motivations. What time zone are you in? EST. Would you ever post a picture of yourself crying on social media? Wow, speaking of. No. ^Why or why not? I am an UGLY cry-er, my man. But I also just don’t want people to see that, and it’s definitely not on my mind to take a picture during a breakdown. What was the last thing you cried about? My life. Have you ever held a newborn baby? Yes. Do you know anyone who has twins? Yes. Where do you buy calendars from? I don’t. Do you shop at the dollar store often? Not *often*, but we’ll stop by for a snack or something sometimes. Are you following in the career path of any family members? No. Do you feel you missed out on a lot as a kid? I guess in some ways. Who was that best friend you ever had? Sara. What color is your laptop? Black. What are five careers you think you’d be good at? My work history has shown I can’t do shit right. Are you thriving in your life right now? lmao no one is in 2020. Who do you have moral support from? My family, doctor, and a few friends. Who encourages you to go after your dreams? The same as above. Do you have people in your family who want you dead? Wow, I hope not. Do you have a walk-in closet? No, but my room at the new house will. :’) Not that I need one, it’s just pretty cool. How do you feel about people like Elon Musk, Bill Gates, and Jeff Bezos having so much power and control in the world? Do you believe that any one person should have so much power? Let’s be real, in our current world, money is power, and no one should have that much control of the world, especially if your intentions are bad. NOW I don’t know jack shit about any of those are far as morals go, but just saying. It’s dangerous. Has your anxiety alone ever prevented you from doing something you wanted to do? This is ACTUALLY the story of my fucking life. Do you enjoy reading stories and novels that are heavily stylistic, poetic, or unconventional or do you prefer your prose to follow a familiar grammatical structure? Okay, I LOVE those, like Johnny Got His Gun and The Handmaid’s Tale that’s kinda like, run-on writing. Just letting a train of thought go. Those are two of the most powerful books I’ve ever read and they’re both written in a unique fashion. Have you ever fallen for any sort of Internet-based hoax? (e.g., fake celeb death, satire news article…) I’m sure at some point, especially as a kid. Do you tend to read reviews before you watch a movie or read a book? What do you hope to get out of doing so? NO. I don’t wanna have any precognition. When you go to a concert, how far must you travel for the most usual venues you visit? Most are on the other end of the state, and NC is long, so. We’re lucky if they come to Raleigh. Do you rent movies frequently? I never do, really. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Take pictures or swim. What’s your favorite meal to cook? I don’t cook. What movie has been taken WAY too far, as far as sequels go? Oh, I’m sure there are some, but none immediately come to mind. I’m not that into movies. Do you refuse to eat certain foods because of what they look like? Yes. I am VERY poor at getting past how a food looks. What are you listening to? NSP’s cover of “Don’t Fear The Reaper.” It’s fuckin gorgeous. How much homework do you have tonight? N/A Are you wearing any bracelets? Yes; one that Sara got me as well as an ovarian cancer awareness one. What's physically wrong with you right now? JINKIES I just feel really lethargic like always. Do you take any medications daily? Ha ha thanks for actually reminding me I need to now. When was the last time you moved to a new house? Two years ago, and now we’ll be moving to a much better place by the end of this month/early September, finally. When it comes to relationships, are you the jealous type? Nah. Which gift cards do you have in your wallet? Idk actually. It’s not like I use it a lot. Can you remember the last time you felt ill? What was wrong with you? A few nights ago. I was extremely hot, dizzy, and pretty nauseated. I was fine, though. If you wear make-up, do you take it with you, to reapply throughout the day? Does your make-up stay for a long time after you first apply it, or do you find that you need to reapply often? Are you wearing any make-up atm? I pretty much never wear makeup so have never really had a reason to reapply it. I’m definitely not wearing any now. Does your kitchen have a theme? No. Do you like ice cream sandwiches? GIRL yes. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? Earbuds. They’re more comfortable imo but more importantly block out exterior noise very well. Are you a fan of any independent films? ngl, I don’t know exactly what that is and I don’t feel like looking it up. Could you possibly write a successful novel? I very genuinely think some of the RP stories I’ve taken part in are novel-worthy, yes. I wanted to make them books when I was younger, but now I no longer do mainly because there are areas that are just way too fucking dark that I don’t wanna put out there but play massive parts in the stories, so like… Do you regularly watch the news? I never do. Facebook is my “news” source lmao. Who was the last person you video-chatted with? I don’t remember for sure, maybe some doctor? What do you want the theme of your wedding to be? I don’t really think about this, seeing as my mind has changed enough, and it also depends on what my partner wants, too. Have you ever been caught passing a note in class? Noooo, I absolutely hated passing notes because I was genuinely a good student. I only did so very, very rarely if another friend started it. Have you ever had dandruff? I have dandruff AND a dry scalp. It’s a wonderful mix. Have you ever gone through a phase of crushing on EVERYONE? Definitely not. Do you have any clothes with spikes/studs on them? I have a spiked choker, and I might still have gloves with studs? Can you remember what you last clapped for? My mom’s birthday! :’) Have you ever given a pet to someone else? Yes, with cats; we had to do that quite often when I was a kid because we had so many cats, none which we could afford to fix. Then we’ve done it with two dogs we just couldn’t handle. Oh yeah, I gave my iguana away too because he was too high maintenance for me, but also because he DESPERATELY needed a much bigger terrarium, which we couldn’t afford. I absolutely could not watch him in that tiny tank. I miss him a LOT, but he went to a wonderful home! The lady who adopted him sent me pictures upon pictures months after taking him in. Do you know anyone named Walter? No. What's your least favorite ice-cream flavor? Strawberry is fucking disgusting. And that’s coming from someone whose favorite fruit is strawberries. What's your least favorite song by your favorite artist? I’m not sure. There’s a handful that just don’t grab my attention that I don’t even remember them. What was the last good news you heard? I can FINALLY talk to my psychiatrist tomorrow. Who’s your favorite singer of all time? Probably Freddie Mercury. What airline do you fly most? Idk, I don’t really pay attention. I haven’t flown very often though anyway. Do you have a dog that is destructive? I don’t have a dog. What’s one TV series you’ve seen every episode of? Meerkat Manor is the most obvious, ha ha. Maaaaany times. Assuming you have Facebook, who last left you a wallpost? Probably my friend Sammi. Assuming you have hair, how are you wearing it today? It’s too short for me to “wear” it any particular way. It’s just… there lmao. Assuming you're not homeless, what kind of living arrangements do you have? I live with my mom in a house she’s renting. Have you or have you ever considered messing around with the same sex? I’m bisexual so you can guess I’m not opposed to it. Are you particular about any brands of food you will or will not eat? Are there any restaurants you refuse to go to? Brands, no. I don’t eat Chick-fil-a because they’re run by fucking homophobic bigots that monetarily support conversion therapy and other anti-LGBT projects. I’m not giving you any fucking money. What was the most current dream you can remember about? Do you generally dream every night, or hardly at all? It was actually last night, when I dreamed about accidentally running into Jason where I last knew he worked, and he was really hostile. If I don’t take my medicine, I always have nightmares when I sleep.

[the-observant-frisbeetarian]

Chapter 1

Bésame Mucho by George deValier

Spring, 1939 A village in Italy

.

"Lovino!"

Lovino did not turn at the sound of Feliciano running behind and shouting his name. He kept his eyes on the narrow dirt road, his fists clenched and his teeth gritted in irritation. The sun shone brightly overhead and a warm breeze drifted past, carrying the light, subtle scents of spring. Lovino barely noticed. His mind was still running through the events of the morning in the market. Every day, he heard the same things. 'Little Feliciano, I have the very best for you today!'… 'Oh, you didn't tell me you had such a cute brother, Lovino!'… 'Extra tomatoes? For you, Feliciano, absolutely!' Lovino was used to feeling invisible around his little brother. But sometimes it became a bit too much. Sometimes, Lovino wished that something would happen around here: something important, something where he could make a difference rather than living in the shadow of his always cute, always sweet, always noticeable little brother.

"Lovino, wait for me! Lovi… ARGH!"

Lovino spun around at the shriek to find Feliciano sprawled face first on the road. Lovino's stomach fell a little as he ran back and knelt swiftly beside his brother. "Feli, are you all right?"

Feliciano slowly pushed himself to his knees, brushed himself off, and smiled brightly. "You shouldn't walk so fast, Lovino, my legs aren't as long as yours and I can't keep up, and I don't think you always hear me when I call out and then accidents like this happen, but it's okay because I don't think I'm hurt only look, I did scrape my knee, do you think I need to see the doctor?"

Lovino rolled his eyes, holding out a hand to help Feliciano to his feet. "Don't be silly, you'll be fine." Why was he never able to stay upset with his little brother for long? "I'm sorry I was walking so fast." Once on his feet, Feliciano continued to cling to Lovino, swinging their hands between them as they continued down the road. Lovino shook his head in exasperation. Anyone would think his fourteen year old brother was actually a little child. No wonder the villagers at the market always thought he was so damn 'cute.' Lovino was barely a year older and yet he felt like the adult; the sensible, responsible one. But he let Feliciano hold his hand as they walked down the country road, eventually turning onto the narrow lane that lead to their small farmhouse.

"We're home, Grandpa!" Feliciano cried cheerfully as they walked through the front door.

"Welcome home, boys!" Grandpa Roma stood from his chair at the front table. Lovino went still when he noticed the man sitting opposite. Dark haired, shabbily dressed, with an olive complexion and wide, sparkling eyes. The young man flashed them a bright cheerful smile; Lovino eyed him warily.

"Who the hell are you?'

Roma glared at Lovino. "Watch your manners, young man." Lovino folded his arms and glanced sullenly at the ceiling. "This is a friend of mine. Antonio Fernandez Carriedo."

Feliciano looked completely confused. "Antonio... Fernando…"

"You might have to write that one down," said Lovino.

"Call me Antonio." The man stood. Lovino took a step backwards.

Roma smiled proudly as he took a step closer to his grandsons. "Antonio, this is Lovino, my oldest, and little Feliciano."

Antonio held out his hand to Feliciano, who took it in a careful handshake. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Feliciano!" Antonio's Italian was slightly accented.

"Hello! You speak funny."

Antonio laughed. "I am sorry about the accent. I am from Spain, and not used to speaking Italian."

Feliciano looked astonished. "Spain? Wow! Do you fight bulls? All Spanish people fight bulls. I read it once in a book, and there were pictures, but it made me very sad, because they were getting stabbed and it was all horrible and I ended up crying because it's just so terribly mean and wrong and... and… and it was so awful…" Feliciano blinked rapidly and sniffed. "Grandpa, I don't think I like your new friend." Lovino kicked Feliciano's foot.

Antonio laughed again. It was so wild and joyful. For some strange reason, Lovino felt his heart leap at the sound. "Feliciano, not all Spanish people fight bulls. I swear to you, I've never hurt a bull in my life."

Feliciano broke into a wide, relieved smile. "Oh, good. Well that's all right then, and I'm very sorry I said I don't like you, and I'm sure you're actually very nice."

Antonio laughed and Roma shrugged dotingly. Lovino tapped his foot and rolled his eyes. Here we go again. Someone else falling all over cute little Feliciano.

"Well, aren't you just the cutest thing," said Antonio. Feliciano tilted his head and flashed a blinding smile. Lovino looked away briefly in frustration, and when he glanced back, he found Antonio extending his hand to him. Lovino's eyes went wide, his brain froze, and he clasped his hands behind his back. Antonio dropped his hand immediately and just smiled. "And I am pleased to meet you, Lovino."

Lovino told himself to say something. Anything. To open his mouth. Now, damn it. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Grandpa Roma cuffed him over the head. "Don't be rude, Lovino. Antonio is here on a business meeting."

Lovino stared at the ground, burning with embarrassment. "Business? About the farm?" He tried to rub his head discreetly.

"Something like that. Boys, go and start dinner while we finish talking. We don't want to bore you!"

"Can we have pasta?" asked Feliciano eagerly.

"That sounds like a brilliant idea!" said Roma, smiling indulgently. Feliciano skipped happily into the next room but Lovino stayed where he was for a moment, glancing warily between Roma and Antonio. He did not know what this meeting was about, but he was willing to bet it had nothing to do with any 'business.' He was also willing to bet Grandpa Roma would not tell him anything about it. As much as Lovino felt like an adult compared to Feliciano, Grandpa Roma never treated him as anything but a child.

"Is something wrong, Lovino?" asked Roma. His tone was pleasant, but his eyes held a warning.

"No," said Lovino softly. "I'll go help Feliciano." He left the room without a backwards glance. As soon as he shut the kitchen door, however, he quickly grabbed a wine glass, held the rim against the door, and placed his ear to the stem. Feliciano looked up from where he was starting to boil water on the stove.

"I don't think you're supposed to be doing that, Lovino."

"Shut up," snapped Lovino, before adding quickly, "…and don't tell Grandpa."

Lovino could not hear much of the conversation, especially with Feliciano banging the pots and plates behind him. But a few phrases and sentences filtered through the amplifying chamber of the glass: something about an Italian alliance with Germany, about a fascist occupation of Czechoslovakia, about rumours of war, about a place called Guernica. Lovino was captivated. He had heard rumours around the village lately, but nothing like this. Nothing that sounded this serious… this important. Lovino listened to Antonio's lilting Spanish accent with a growing fascination, until he was no longer sure if it was what Antonio was saying that held him enthralled or the deep, intense, yet somehow still cheerful way the man spoke the words. Grandpa Roma's voice suddenly rose in volume and Lovino heard the words perfectly through the door.

"Tell me why do you did not just become a soldier, Antonio. Could you not accomplish something important using your skills in the military?"

"Sometimes soldiers do great things. And I, of all people, respect the desire to do duty for your country. But I have seen what the military can do. I have seen the consequences of blindly following orders. Soldiers kill innocent people, Roma. And I would die before I do that."

Lovino's pulse pounded between his ear and the glass. He felt slightly out of breath. Every word Antonio said was spoken with an edge of passion - it was like nothing Lovino had ever heard.

"I think I can trust you, Spaniard." Roma sounded satisfied.

"Lovino, do you think I need to add more…"

Lovino waved a hand at Feliciano frantically. "Ssh, shut up!"

"And I you, Roma. I will give you any and all information I am able to acquire. Let us hope, however, that this German incursion is stopped before it gets too far."

Lovino tried to breathe through the dozens of emotions flowing through him. He could not be sure of exactly what his grandfather and Antonio had been talking about, but it sounded like exactly what he had hoped for. Something different, something new, something that might finally change this stale, everyday existence where nothing ever happened and where he felt invisible and ignored. Hearing Roma and Antonio begin their goodbyes, Lovino pulled the wine glass from the door and, almost unthinkingly, opened the door a fraction to peek through. Grandpa Roma had his back to the kitchen, rifling through a pile of papers on the table. Antonio, however, stood facing Lovino, and their eyes met immediately. Lovino froze when Antonio smiled at him broadly, his light eyes sparkling. Then he winked. Lovino's eyes widened. He abruptly slammed the door shut and leant against it, his heart beating fast in his chest. His breathing came so fast he was nearly panting.

Feliciano looked up over the boiling pot and smiled. True to form, he did not seem to have noticed anything unusual. "Grandpa's new friend is really nice, don't you think?"

"No," said Lovino, frantically trying to convince himself that his pounding heart and burning cheeks were a result of the conversation he had overheard, and not that stunning smile and startling wink. "No, I don't think so at all. Oh honestly, Feliciano, you've cooked far too much pasta once again…" Lovino went to help Feliciano with the dinner, and tried to forget Antonio's brilliant green eyes.

.

Lovino slowly grew used to Antonio's visits over the next few weeks. To listening through doors for some idea of what was going on, to that frustrating little jump he felt in his chest whenever he heard that Antonio was visiting, to that swelling feeling of excitement he felt every time he overheard Antonio and Roma speak of escalating rumours of war. But at the same time, Lovino never quite grew used to Antonio's constant cheerful smile, to his messy brown hair and bright green eyes, to his ready laugh and joyful presence and the way he always ruffled Feliciano's hair and called him 'cute.' Lovino told himself he didn't care. He almost believed it. But then Antonio would smile at him, or glance at him in passing, and Lovino would scowl and look away, the whole time feeling unsure and confused and angry that he could not quite understand the reason he was feeling this way.

It all became quite usual and everyday until the morning everything finally struck him in understanding. Lovino sat on the low garden wall, the bright sun beating down relentlessly, thinking through the conversation he had just overheard. Antonio had a way of speaking that made everything sound important, but his words earlier as he spoke with Grandpa Roma had sounded graver than usual.

"You are still committed to this, Roma? I will do everything I can to help you. But you will be a resistance. You will be fighting against the government of your own country."

"A government that does not care for the freedom of its people. Yes, I am committed."

"And you know what you will be risking?"

"I know all too well what I am risking. But if anything is worth that risk, this is."

Lovino had left before hearing the end of the conversation, feeling like he needed air. The little garden was dappled with bright sunlight and shadow from the tall trees that surrounded the wall, the air stiflingly hot with the promise of a long summer. Lovino kicked his feet absently and stared unseeing at the rows of rosemary before him. Those words resonated in his head… "I know all too well what I am risking." His mind spun with a hundred thoughts. He had known Grandpa Roma and Antonio were planning something. But now he wondered just what exactly that was, and what it would mean. What would Grandpa be risking… what would he be doing… what exactly was the meaning of all this talk of war and Germany and invasion? Suddenly that familiar feeling of excitement carried an undercurrent of fear.

Lovino looked up at the sound of the back kitchen door opening, only to see Antonio stepping out into the garden. Lovino's heart leapt annoyingly into his throat. He shrank back carefully on the wall, but Antonio did not notice him. Instead he walked swiftly past the bright flowerbeds before leaning against the far wall by the back gate, his chest rising and falling rapidly. He looked slightly anxious, and quite exhausted. He pulled a cigarette from his pocket, lit it, and was just breathing the smoke deeply when Lovino jumped down and took a few steps in his direction. Antonio looked up sharply, then smiled. "Lovino."

Lovino stared at Antonio cautiously. He was never quite sure how to act around him; it was more confusing than it should be. Lovino folded his arms. "I've overheard you talking with Grandpa, you know."

Antonio looked politely curious. "Oh?"

"There is going to be a war, isn't there?"

Antonio's expression turned slightly uncertain. He took a draw on his cigarette and breathed the smoke out slowly. "Probably."

Lovino nodded thoughtfully. "Right. Well. I guess I'll just have to join the army then."

Antonio laughed softly, staring at Lovino with sparkling eyes. "The army?" He tilted his head slightly. "I just realised I've never asked… how old are you, Lovino?"

Lovino thought about how to answer. He thought briefly about lying. Then he realised it probably did not matter much. "Fifteen," he said huffily.

Antonio's eyebrows shot up and he looked away quickly. "Fifteen," he muttered. He shook his head, took another long draw on his cigarette, and stared at the sky for few moments. "You won't be able to join for a while then. And when you are old enough, do you even know what you will be fighting for?"

Lovino furrowed his eyebrows. What a strange question… "For Italy, of course."

"Hmm." Antonio often thought for a long time before speaking. Lovino wondered if it was because of the difference in language. He refused to admit that it fascinated him. Because it didn't, damn it. Antonio breathed out another lungful of smoke. "Sometimes, joining the army is not the best way to serve your country. Sometimes, to do what is right, you have to stand up and fight for what everyone else thinks is wrong."

Lovino swallowed heavily. Antonio had said something like that earlier. You will be fighting against the government of your own country... "I don't know what you mean."

"You will." Antonio flicked his ash on the ground and stared at it. "War is not exciting, Lovino. I sincerely hope you do not make the mistake of thinking so before you actually see it."

Lovino narrowed his eyes as he studied Antonio, thinking through everything he had overheard in the last few weeks. About civil war in Spain and fascism and that place Antonio kept mentioning, that place called Guernica… "What are you really doing here?"

Antonio thought for a moment again. "I think I am trying to fight for what is right."

"You think?"

"I hope. Unfortunately, I've never been very good at separating right from wrong. I think I've always just felt too much to truly know the difference. But this… yes, I'm sure I'm right in this. I have to be."

Lovino tried unsuccessfully to suppress the swelling in his chest. So he tried angrily to ignore it. "I didn't ask for your life story, bastard."

Antonio looked vaguely amused. "No. Forgive me, Lovino." He inhaled deeply on his cigarette, his eyes still on the ground. A heavy silence fell. Lovino was not sure if he should leave. For some reason he did not dwell on, he did not want to. He fidgeted with his hands behind his back for a moment. Antonio did not continue, so Lovino broke the silence.

"Can I have a cigarette?"

Antonio laughed. "No."

"Screw you, bastard!"

Antonio dropped the cigarette and stood on it. Then he finally looked up, his eyes meeting Lovino's, burning into them. Lovino felt his next angry words die on his lips. The hot stillness of the day seemed to close in on him. He could not move, could not breathe, could not tear his gaze from those brilliant green eyes staring into his. Antonio took a step closer then paused, shook his head, and laughed softly to himself. "Fifteen," he muttered, before turning and walking out the back gate. Lovino watched him go, his heart pounding in his ears, unsure whether to feel relieved.

.

Only a few days later, Lovino stood at the kitchen door, listening as Antonio explained to Roma that he was going away for a few months. Lovino was surprised, annoyed and infuriated by how upset and disappointed that made him. This was stupid. He shouldn't care, he didn't care, why the hell would he care…

"Things are moving fast, Roma. Faster than expected. Of course I will be back regularly, but from here it is up to you. You will be the face of this. I will simply be your informant."

Roma laughed raucously. "Sometimes you sound so much older than your years. Do not forget that you are talking to the youngest Italian officer to ever rise past the rank of Captain. I am quite capable of inspiring a group to victory."

Antonio's voice became cheerful and lighthearted once again. "Like any student of the Great War, I am well aware of your military accomplishments. Maggiore Vargas, hero of the Isonzo campaign. Why else do you think I am so eager to work with you?"

"All right, stop with the flattery, kid." But Lovino could hear the delight in Roma's voice. Grandpa always loved when people spoke of his celebrated military history. "You do your job, and I'll do mine."

The rest of the conversation became too soft to hear properly. When the room finally fell silent, Lovino pressed his ear as close to the door as possible. Had they left? Was their meeting over? He tried listening for the sound of footsteps, but heard nothing, until suddenly the door opened inward. Lovino cried out in surprise and fell forward, right into Antonio's steadying arms.

"Hello, Lovino!"

"Bu... wha... get off me, bastard!" Lovino's face burned and he frantically pulled himself upright, pushing Antonio away and backing up until he hit the wall behind him.

"Why do I always find you listening in doorways?" Antonio smiled at Lovino amusedly.

"It's my house," said Lovino indignantly. "And I wasn't listening, I was..." Lovino had no idea what to say. "I was... oh, go away."

Antonio smirked and nodded. "Very well." He started to walk past, but as he did, Lovino felt his hand shoot out and grasp Antonio's shirt. He was sure he hadn't meant to do that. Antonio looked down, almost as surprised as Lovino himself. Lovino's eyes darted nervously.

"You're leaving."

Antonio smirked again. "You weren't listening?"

Lovino glared at him. "It's the only way I ever find things out around here. No one tells me anything otherwise."

"Yes, Lovino, I am leaving for a while. Please don't worry, though. I will return soon enough. I will be returning quite frequently."

"I'm not worried!" Lovino spat indignantly.

"Of course not." Antonio was too close. Lovino tried to ignoring the fluttering in his stomach, tried to ignore the way his breath came faster, because he didn't care, Antonio was not making him feel like this, oh God he smelt so good, NO! "Well," continued Antonio, "I suppose this is it until..."

"Don't waste your goodbyes on me, bastard, go find my cute brother and say farewell to him instead." Lovino immediately winced at his words. Crap, damn it, why did he say that? That hadn't come out as sulkily as it sounded, surely...

Antonio just let out a breath of laughter. "Oh, Lovino." Antonio took a step towards him and Lovino pressed himself even closer to the wall. Then Antonio leant over and rested his hand slowly, lightly, against Lovino's side. Lovino's eyes widened. His heartbeat increased, his palms started to sweat, and the back of his neck burned with a heat that quickly spread through his entire body. Then he felt Antonio's breath hot against his ear. "Feliciano is cute, Lovi. But you are beautiful."

Lovino was stunned. Beautiful. Antonio had called him beautiful. Not cute, not adorable, not sweet; something more than any of that. Antonio had said it to him, to him alone; whispered it in his ear when no one else could hear, words meant only for Lovino. This was too much. Lovino could think of only one way to deal with these wild, confusing, unfamiliar feelings racing through him. He squared his shoulders, drew back his fist, and punched Antonio square in the jaw. "You don't call boys beautiful, you creep!"

Lovino turned and stormed from the room, pretending he did not hear Antonio laughing behind him.

.

Next Chapter

Disclaimer: This story belongs to George deValier. Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya. I own nothing.

[dreamgloe]

vanilla, letters & melt

prompt: vanilla, letters & melt (this prompt list here)

words: 4.56k

warnings: fluff, slightest bit of angst

notes: so this is really late but….better late than never, right? I’ll just keep it in the valentine’s day theme. ;) despite how long this took, i’m so happy to be writing some cute namjoon while writing some angsty namjoon (his chapter in ‘half of my heart’ has put me T H R O U G H  I T)

tags: @joonieblossoms

mini playlist: fools by troye sivan | call your girlfriend (robyn cover) by clara mae | sponge by clay best friend by ikon

-x-

There were only two sounds in your apartment. One was the loud crashing noises of the Netflix romcom you’d decided to play with a hard press of your forefinger. Afterwards, you tossed the remote to the floor, not caring where it landed. The second was the scraping of your spoon against the paper carton of Tahitian Vanilla ice cream from your favorite neighborhood spot.

You told yourself that you hated this holiday, that it was a consumerist weapon holding people hostage in the name of love. If anyone asked you, you were boycotting and Galentine’s Day was the only holiday worth celebrating. Celebrating womanhood with your girl friends with copious amounts of sparkling rosé was the only draw to this time of the year.

However, that was a damn lie.

Not only were most of your friends in relationships, you actually loved Valentine’s Day. Well, you did. You loved the idea when you were in a relationship, which you had been in until about a month ago. It wasn’t as if you were certain that Choi Sungwoo was the one for you but you did spent the better part of eight months committed to him, his work functions–which you hated–and to trying your best to not demolish his ass in Overwatch every time you played with him. He was funny when he wasn’t trying to be and he was never ashamed to hold your hand in public. The sex was great, you knew there were no complaints in that department.

But…obviously something wasn’t working for him when he told you that it was over. He admitted that there was someone else. He said that he had feelings for someone at his work and he didn’t want to continue to lead you on if he was interested in someone else. He also said he wanted a chance with this person. He didn’t want any “what ifs.”. You couldn’t hate him for being honest but you hated him on principle anyway.

He wasn’t even a coward, you thought to yourself, stabbing your spoon back into the ice cream. You paused, looking into the carton. It was missing something, and with that thought you walked to grab the chocolate syrup out of the fridge, the kind that hardened on top of ice cream. Flipping the cap and squeezing it all over the ice cream, you only stopped when the top was almost completely covered. Flipping the cap back into place, you didn’t even bother to put it back in the fridge.

You just didn’t care.

It was at that moment that you were glad your roommate, Namjoon, wasn’t back. To be honest, you weren’t even sure what he was doing. You were just happy that he wasn’t home to watch the sad scene of a gross ice cream concoction and some pretty abhorrent Netflix romantic comedies.

He’d also broken up with his girlfriend around five months ago but he’d been dating his girlfriend as long as you’d known him which was a little over two years. If it was a competition, you knew he’d won hands down. You liked her too and were sad for him when she dumped him.

And that was pretty big of you, too, because when you first met Namjoon, you might have had a teensy crush on him. Teensy being an understatement. Who wouldn’t? He was smart, kind, tall, and had one of the best smiles you’d ever seen in your life. But the two of you quickly fell into a friendship, one that you’d rather die than ever mess up.

Knowing he was sad, you did everything you could to cheer him up. Museum dates, pounds and pounds of barbeque. You even went with him to see all those foreign films he liked even though you hated them. You should have better taste, having studied French Literature. You met Namjoon in a Modern French Philosophy class for crying out loud! However, you’d always been a sucker for girl gang movies and romantic comedies. But…you couldn’t bear the crestfallen looks across your roommate’s face so you did your best to cheer him up even if it meant sitting through a handful of painful German films.

At the time, you couldn’t bring yourself to pry into why she broke up with him. He’d tell you if he wanted to. That’s what you told yourself. Namjoon had been busy the last month but he tried desperately to be there for you as well. He watched a handful of dramas and even the latest season of Alexa & Katie with you on Netflix. Two things he hated and he did them for you. For that, you were grateful but it didn’t stop you from shovelling your way through the pint of ice cream in front of you, knowing full well you had two more in the freezer.

Obviously, you couldn’t help but soften at the thought of Namjoon holding your hand and giving you tissues as you cried your eyes out watching fucking Alexa & Katie, a show aimed at middle school girls. He wasn’t the best roommate in the world but he was definitely one of the best friends you have ever been lucky enough to have.

Why did your bout of loneliness have to bubble up on a day that was both the epitome and antithesis of loneliness, though? Couldn’t the universe give you a fucking break? You were still holding the carton of ice cream in your condensation covered hands, spoon in mouth, feet up on the coffee table when Namjoon walked in. You’d been so absorbed in your ice cream that your surprise caused the metal spoon to clack against your teeth harshly, causing you to spasm. “Ow,” you said, more to yourself, “Goddamnit!”

“Oh…hey Y/N,” he said, lugging his messenger bag off his shoulder and then onto the ground as he approached the edge of the couch. You sighed loudly, putting the spoon into the carton and placing the whole thing on the table. “Namjoon….” you said, a hint of whine, “don’t just…er….enter the apartment like that. Nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“So sorry, Y/N. Next time I won’t exist in my own apartment,” he said sarcastically, crossing his arms while looking at you, not being able to help the small smile that spread across his face.

“Thank you,” you say, “I’d appreciate it.” You said it seriously but you couldn’t help the smile that eventually followed too. You played with the blanket it across your lap, smoothing it out. You didn’t expect him to be home. But honestly, where would he be? Both of you were single on Valentine’s Day. You should have thought of that. It had been months since either of you had been relationships, where would you both be going?

There was a moment before you spoke. “Care to join me?” you said, motioning to the nest of blankets, dvds, snacks, and strangely, more than one Apple TV remote. He heaved a heavy sigh before he kicked his shoes off and said, “If we’re doing this, I’m getting the wine.” After grabbing a bottle of red and two glasses, he finally sat down on the couch with a big plop, getting under the blanket with you. He poured you a glass, handing it to you now that you no longer were holding the tub of ice cream. The two of you did a cheers and he leaned back into the couch, hi shoulder touching yours.

He let you finish off the romcom you were watching before the two of your poured over old DVD’s. He’d convinced you to settle on Notting Hill, claiming it was one of the best romantic comedies of all time. You argued and said it was borderline boring, to which Namjoon just scoffed. However, you did your best to conceal the tears you were crying towards the end. Namjoon decided not to rub it in your face because you looked so sad. Soon enough, you found your hand in his. His was warm and it only made you cry more. “Hey…” he said softly, pulling some tissues from his pocket.

You were crying and it wasn’t just the movie. You were sad and lonely as hard as that was to admit to yourself. You missed sharing something with someone, you missed holding hands like Namjoon was currently holding your’s, you even missed playing damn Overwatch. You thought yourself a very independent person and you hated yourself for crying because you were alone on Valentine’s Day. The thought itself drew a choked sob out of you and with your free hand, you furiously wiped at your face.

Taking the tissues, you sloppily dabbed at your face, warm with tears and more than two glasses of red wine. “I’m literally the most pathetic person on planet Earth right now,” you said between sobs, “You don’t have to hold my hand, Namjoon. Thank you, but you don’t have to.” You waited for him to drop it but he only interlaces his fingers into yours more tightly. You looked up at him as he started to speak again. “I want to, Y/N,” he said, taking a deep breath, “What’s this about? What’s going on?” You couldn’t even be annoyed with him because he looked so concerned.

You gave yourself a few moments to breathe before you answer him. “It’s just….I don’t know if I miss Sungwoo or…” you said, trailing off.

“Or what….?” Namjoon asked in a concerned voice.

“Or if I’m just hopeless, awkward, and desperate for love!!!” you exclaimed dramatically. It only took Namjoon a second to get the FRIENDS reference. He laughed, intertwining his fingers with yours. The two of you still couldn’t get enough of syndicated FRIENDS reruns on basic cable.

He leaned his shoulder into yours as you took a deep breath. “But in all seriousness,” you continued, “I know it sounds dumb…but…it’s so nice to be liked, to be wanted or needed or whatever…” You looked down at your lap, blinking your eyes a few times.

“I get that,” he said softly, lukewarm fingers now starting to just slightly condensate in your grasp. Namjoon was rarely this affectionate towards anyone. However, in the last month, the two of you had spent a plethora of your time that you were not working on your dissertations, with each other. At your behest, a lot of it in front of the television with junk food, which contrasted to the time after his breakup. But you two had different tastes.

You liked sitting shoulder to shoulder with Namjoon on the couch, crying your eyes out to preteen multicam comedies on Netflix. But you weren’t sure why he’d put up with you. You just came to assume it was because he was concerned after your break up with Sungwoo.

“Ugh, sorry,” you say, shaking your head, trying to shake out of it, “Do you want to pick the next movie? I’ll even watch that Hebrew movie you were talking about? Fill the Void?” You paused for a second before continuing, “That’s the one about arranged marriage right?”

“The young woman married her sister’s widower,” he said, correcting you. You nodded and the two of you settled into the couch to finish the shitty romantic comedy you were watching. When you finished, the two of you had polished off the vanilla ice cream. You took the empty carton, grabbing your second tub and bringing it as Namjoon was loading up the foreign film. Taking another deep breath, you sat down next to him.

The film was slow but stunning and you couldn’t help but getting wrapped up into it along Namjoon. Shoulders still pressed together, you felt your eyes well up unblinkingly at the emotional scenes laying before you. In a lull, you couldn’t help but speak. “Maybe I should just have my family match me up like Shira,” you said, “Easy, relatively painless, percentage chance of heartbreak significantly lowered right?”

You were just bullshitting at this point, working your way through your second glass of wine, using the last tissue from Namjoon’s pocket to dab at some of the drink dripping from your chin. You were reaching the climax in your rant when Namjoon interrupted you. “Just stop, Y/N, okay?” he said, grabbing your shoulders, only shaking you slightly, “One day, a guy is going to be so lucky that you’ve let him be part of your life. Stop beating yourself up about it. It’s a dumb holiday. You are so very much worthy of love. Trust me, I know. So shut up and let’s finish the damn movie.”

He turns away from you and back to the tv, but you can’t help but stare at his profile. Serious and hellbent on concentrating on the subtitled movie. You eyed him suspiciously. “What do you mean ‘I know?”

He let out a large breath through his nose. “Fine,” he said, getting up, “I guess I’m doing this.” You watched him as got up, leaving you alone on the coach, and made his way down the hall in the direction of his bedroom. Less than a minute later, he came back with a stack of letters rubber banded together. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Y/N,” he said, as if he was annoyed.

As you started to ask, he pushed them into your hands. “Just read, don’t talk, okay?” he said, more forceful than you’d really ever seen him before. This time, however, he sat on one of the bar stools a handful of feet away as you slowly undid the two skinny rubber bands.

“Okay,” you said resolutely, as you carefully pried open the first envelope. It had been dated around five or so months ago, in Namjoon’s skinny, clear handwriting. You started reading, feeling your face crease.

Y/N, I took some time before writing this because that’s what you do when someone who has been a fixture in your life, no longer is. By the time I started this, I told you that Chaeha and I broke up. Chaeha told me that she knew my heart wasn’t with her anymore. What’s worse is that she wasn’t even mad. I denied it to her, told her that I only loved her, but she knew better. I don’t know when it all started but…I’m pretty sure you’ve always been more than a friend to me. Two weeks to come to terms with the fact that she was right. 

That was only the first letter. There were definitely more than ten letters in the pile and one by one, you opened them. He had written to you once a week since his breakup with Chaeha. A few of the letters were just Namjoon talking about his day, a short trip he took with his parents, the weekend getaway you took with your mutual friends. However, they all revolved around thoughts of you, even if you weren’t present at the time.

You could feel your eyes and face soften. On one hand, it was all too much and the other, not nearly enough. As you picked up the latest one, dated two days ago, you couldn’t help but look over at Namjoon sitting on the stool by the counter. He looked at you as if to encourage you to keep reading but there was something in his eyes that didn’t want yours to leave either. Always an eloquent speaker, his letters spoke volumes beyond what he could physically say.

February 12th, 2019, February 12th, 2019. Two days ago.

I’m sure if you ever read these, Y/N, you’ll have figured it out quickly by this one.  You’re so smart and that’s probably one of reasons we get along so well, why that Modern French Philosophy class was the best class I’ve ever taken at this place. Probably one of the reasons why Chaeha and I ended, even. The day I wrote about in the first letter, Chaeha told me it was you. I didn’t completely admit to myself but I’ve had five months to think about us and I can now confirm. I can confirm my feelings. I still am not sure when it all happened but it did. I fell in love with you along the way of our friendship.

Your eyes scanned the rest of the letter, trying to absorb all the information thoroughly but as quickly as possible. You finished, and turned to look at Namjoon over the couch. Your eyes growing softer, wider, and a bit wetter.  

Knowing what was going on but not really knowing how to comprehend, your words faltered in your mouth. “What is–? Why–? Really–?” you said, only being able to form a few short, questioning words. You were emotional and a little buzzed already and now ….you were pretty sure your best friend was telling you that he broke up with his girlfriend five months ago because he was in love with you.

Snapping your head towards the kitchen to look at him, you were sure that you probably looked pretty lost. The expression on his face was serious but not hard, his chin between his forefinger and thumb. You wanted to move, to be able to look him closely in the eyes as if that act could provide you with answers. To be honest, you were overwhelmed and for a moment you thought you might just burst into tears. Where was all of this coming from?

The only thing you could do was hold up the stack of haphazardly opened letters. Not as in “I want to give these back” kind of way but in a way that says “I want to talk about these but my mouth and brain aren’t making the connection with one another.” He sloughs out of his chair and rejoins you back on the couch. You turn to him sideways, one knee up on the couch. You jester to him with the envelopes on your hands but a tight grip on them. A grip that might imply you don’t want to let them go, that if you do…what you just read will disappear.

“I know,” he says, “I know…it’s a lot, but it’s not–” He looks into your watery eyes and you can just tell he wants to stay more, that he probably has this eloquent speech or explanation planned out. He always knows what to say to you, what to say to other people. Where you were often speechless and stuck in your own head, he had a way with words that rivaled many heads of state.

You sighed and swallowed. “Tell me, then,” you manage to say, not quite knowing what is possessing you, “tell me what these letters haven’t.” Your knee brushed Namjoon’s thigh when you readjusted yourself next to him, placing the stack of letters on top of where your leg brushed his. You tried to remain as calm as possible for him, so that you could listen to him, but you were shaking. You couldn’t help it and you did your best to conceal that fact, by holding your arms to yourself, even though you didn’t want to look as if you were closed off from the conversation.

Once he started, you could only listen. The way he put into words possibly years of feelings…your heart was fit to burst. He’d been your friend for so long and you had built a relationship on being friends and roommates that you were more than satisfied with. Well, at least…that’s what you thought until the one person it also included flipped your world upside down with his confession.

“…You know I loved Chaeha. I was with her for half a decade,” he said, almost as if he was pleading. You nodded because it was true. He loved Chaeha. You loved her too…obviously not in that way but you’d grown close to her in the past two plus years of being Namjoon’s friend. She’d never…she’d never even given off any vibes that she didn’t like you, that she didn’t trust you, or that her boyfriend of five years might possibly be in love with another woman aka you. That thought hurt you too.

“I know, Namjoon,” you said, “I know you loved her so much. But why? When? How? I–I’m sorry. I’m not the articulate one in this friendship.” You held onto your own fingers so tightly, you knew there might  be the possibility that they might bruise.

“I don’t know when it happened but here I am, fucking hopeless and in love with my best friend. Those five months taught me that Chaeha was right and that…she was right to dump me. I couldn’t continue to be in a relationship with her–even if I really cared about her because at the back of my mind, I was always thinking about you.” he said, finally shifting to face you, taking your shaking hands in each of his.

Never thought you’d see your best friend’s gaze falter, never thought he’d ever be at a loss. His hands were as warm as they were before but they felt different. This is what you were afraid of. Things changing between you. That’s why….whatever “little” crush you had on him when you first met, you pushed it aside. There was never going to be a way that you’d let Kim Namjoon slip away from your life. You had always recognized that you found him attractive but he was Namjoon, the PhD candidate with cartoon character pyjama pants and the guy who you’d let in the bathroom while you were in the shower so he could pee.

He still liked you after that and it confused you even more. “Not to sound like a broken record, but why me? What is it about me?” you asked. You were genuinely curious and confused. You weren’t a mess, per say, but you and Namjoon shared every streaming service and refused to purchase cable tv because you were on a budget. Chaeha had been beautiful, smart, and a fantastic career and life going for her. Why was your roommate looking at you like you held the fucking universe? Why was he taking a step closer to you right now? Why were his eyes bigger and glassier than you’d ever seen them before?

Why was it that when he squeezed your hands in his and he finally looked at you in the eyes, you could feel all the confusing puzzle pieces finally fall into place? Could he see the light bulb go off in your brain?

“What isn’t it about you?” he said, suddenly smiling more brightly than he had since he walked through the door, “One, you’re my best friend. Two, without you I would starve. Three, I realized you have always made my heart do this.” He took one of the hands he was holding and put it on his heart. It was beating rather fast. You could feel your fingers press into the shirt covering his chest, looking for some kind of anchor to keep you on this earth. Now that the two of you were closer, you could feel the light breeze of his wine breath on your face.

Of your own accord, you moved the hand on his chest to the juncture of his neck and shoulder in attempt to not pull him to you but still bring him closer. The only sound you could hear was the foreign film in the background and the sound of your own ragged breath. “What are you thinking?” he asks so quietly, that if it wasn’t silent, you wouldn’t have been able to catch it.

“It’s just that…the feelings I have…I have…I have pressed them so far down because of how much our friendship means to me, how much you mean to me…that I’m just trying to wrap my head around this,” you rambled. Your thumb rubbed at his jaw, reveling in the warmth and softness of his skin there. “Did you know…that I had a crush on you when we first became friends?” you said, not being able to help but chuckle at yourself a little.

“No,” he said, looking down at you.

“But you were with Chaeha and you two were really cute and I wanted to be your friend so bad that I–” you said but in a fast moment, were cut off by Namjoon’s lips against yours. You wanted to cry because you’d thought about it more than you wanted to admit. Repressing your crush on Namjoon was now going to take its toll in the form of big soppy tears that were pooling in your tear ducts.

Pressing your finger into his jaw, you used your hand to bring him closer, a sob stuck in your throat. You used a little more momentum than you had thought to and Namjoon ended up half on top of you as you fell back into the large, squishy couch cushion. His hands were soon around your waist and your arms slipped around his shoulders.

After coming up for air, you managed to get out “Sorry, I’m all emotional. This is all so good but a little much. I just…you overwhelm me…in a good way.” You tacked that bit on at the end because it was true. The very thought and feel of him right now consumed you.

“Please don’t feel pressured to say or do anything you don’t want to,” he said earnestly, “That’s the last thing I want to happen. Your friendship, regardless of this, means everything to me.” You smile, bringing his lips back to you. When you pressed him even closer to you, Namjoon eagerly maneuvered so that you were underneath him on the couch. His fingers brushed your bare sides while yours dipped under the collar of his t-shirt.

He melded to you like you had been there all along.

“I said it earlier but…Happy Valentine’s Day, Y/N,” he said, that big, happy doofy smile blooming across his face.

“You too, Joon,” you said, biting your bottom lip before pulling him in closer. The two of you remained tangled up together for several more minutes until eventually, you ended up on top of Namjoon. When you finally separated, the movie was over and you decided to clear up all your mess on the coffee table except for the wine.

As you reached for the tub of ice cream in order to take it to kitchen, you peered inside only to be disappointed. “Goddamnit, the ice cream melted!” you said annoyedly. But before you could walk to throw it in the trash can, a pair of arms looped around your middle as a chin pressed into your shoulder.

“So did I,” Namjoon said into your ear. You couldn’t help but chortle at the cheesy line. As cheesy as it was, it was still lovely. You wrapped your arms around his and leaned back into him as you help the condensation covered melted tub of ice cream. When his lips reached behind your ear, you leaned forward to place the tub on a surface, not wanting it all over the carpet.

Smiling at that moment, you promised yourself to never call Valentine’s Day a consumerist holiday ever again.

[mrsrcbinscn]

Franny Sor Framagucci Robinson Character Sheet 

Dear Mom and Dad, I'll send money, I'm so rich that it ain't funny It oughtta be more than enough to get you through - (x)

Archetype — The Creator 

Birthday — January 17, 1980

Zodiac Sign — Capricorn

MBTI — ENFJ-A (The Protagonist — 93% Extroverted, 56% Intuitive, 60% Feeling, 60% Judging, 83% Assertive)

Enneagram — Type 3w2 — The Charmer

Temperament — Sanguine 

Hogwarts House — Slytherin Primary, Hufflepuff Primary model, Gryffindor Secondary

Moral Alignment —  Lawful Good

Primary Vice — Pride

Primary Virtue — Charity or Diligence 

Element — Air

Song —  A Better Son/Daughter by Rilo Kiley

Overview:

Government name  —  Darareaksmey Francine Sor Framagucci Robinson Name  —  Franny Robinson/Franny Sor Robinson Mother — Sophea “Sophie” Sor

Father — Adrien Framagucci (stepfather, legally adopted her), Peter Boyd (biological father)

Mother’s Occupation — Restaurant owner 

Father’s Occupation — Construction worker

Family Finances — grew up in poverty, insanely wealthy now

Birth Order — Youngest

Brothers — stepbrothers Gaston and Art Framagucci (mother legally adopted them, if you say ‘step’ Franny will kill you), claims no others but has biological half brothers from Peter Boyd; John-Curtis “JC”  Boyd, Timothy “Timmy” Boyd

Sisters — claims none, but has biological half sisters by Peter Boyd; Sarah Boyd, Stacy Boyd, Shyann Boyd 

Other Close Family — spreadsheet

Best Friend — Daniel Maitland, Molly Vaughn (deceased)

Other Friends — Lora Lopez, Serghei Anton, Delia Weiss, Vanessa Pham, others

Enemies — most men on principle 

Home Life During Childhood — It was a good childhood. Working the restaurant was normal to Franny so she didn’t realize it was abnormal at first. Her parents tried not to let the kids realize how poor they actually were. 

Town or City Name(s) — Payne Lake, Georgia

Any Sports or Clubs — In high school she was in drama, show choir, orchestra, National Honor Society, and on the quiz bowl team

Favorite Toy or Game — Franny honestly loved hide and seek well into her teenage years because she was small enough to fit it the weirdest places to hide, and in the 80s and 90s in a small town in Georgia there wasn’t much to do so her friend group played Extreme Hide and Seek. Everyone wears all black like some kind of cult. Turn off all the lights in the house. Go crazy. 

Schooling — K-12 in Payne Lake, Georgia ; B.A.s. in Musical Theatre Performance and Jazz Studies at NYU; M.A. in Jazz Studies at Pride U

Favorite Subject — Anything that wasn’t math or chemistry 

Popular or Loner — Popular, has always been magnetic 

Important Experiences or Events — Her first time on stage, getting enough scholarship money to justify going to NYU, quickly growing to love the nerd she hit up to buy her waffles and never letting him go, the accident that changed her life, marrying Cornelius Robinson, finding the magic singing frogs, adopting Wilbur, discovering the severity of her fertility issues in 2008, 

Nationality — American-Cambodian (born American, given Cambodian citizenship in 2019)

Culture — Franny identifies most strongly with Cambodian, followed by broadly Southeast Asian sometimes with Buddhist attached, and that’s tied with ‘Rural Southern (USA)’ sometimes with POC attached. Franny feels pretty detached from “American Culture” in general. She more closely would identify with Southern USA culture in general than with general American with no modifiers. She also feels a little detached from Asian American culture in general because even though she grew up right outside of Atlanta and is familiar with Atlanta, she didn’t grow up in one of the big hubs of Asian American culture like LA, San Francisco, or NYC. White American and Black American culture surrounded her, and the Asian cultures surrounding her were immigrant or first-gen cultures that hadn’t really developed an American flavor yet. Franny understood more about Vietnamese and Thai culture than she did about general Asian American culture for a long time, because immigrants straight from Southeast Asia were the only Asians she grew up around. And she grew up in the 80s and 90s where Asian representation was yellowface and Long Duk Dong. She didn’t meet any Asian Americans who didn’t speak or at least understand their heritage language until college. And the experience of POC as a whole in the South is very different to the experience of a white person, so sometimes Franny feel disconnected from her white southern neighbors and more closely relates to black or non-white Latinx southerners in ways she doesn’t relate to white southerners, or Asian Americans from LA or NYC. 

Religion and beliefs — Buddhist

Languages spoken— Khmer, English, Vietnamese, French, Italian, (less fluently) Portuguese, Spanish, (can understand some) Thai, Lao, (impressive tourist) German, Dutch

Physical Appearance

Face Claim —  Elodie Yung

Complexion — Tanned skin, pale brown 

Hair Colour — Black

Eye Colour — Brown

Height — 5’5

Tattoos — Yes, a few. Wilbur’s adoption date over her heart, most notably

Piercings — Lobe, upper lobe, tragus, helix, and cartilage on both ears, and an anti-tragus on her left ear. And a nose piercing she got in college

Common Hairstyle — typically keeps her hair long and done nicely but she cuts it and donates it from time to time so will also rock short hair

Clothing Style — vintage-inspired but not proper vintage

Mannerisms — Biting the pads of her thumbs, gesturing wildly, narrating her actions sometimes in song, if she’s looking for scissors she walks through the house making a scissors motion with her fingers

Usual Expression — she’s got resting bitch face 

Health

Overall (do they get sick easily)? — No, her immune system is the real MVP and when she does get sick she’s like ‘I’m dYING’

Physical Ailments —  Infertility 

Neurological Conditions — Depression, Cyclothymia (rapid cycles of depressive and hypomanic episodes)

Allergies —  none 

Grooming Habits — Typically rinses her body daily, uses soap on the armpits daily, but proper washes her body every other day. Washes her hair every two or three days as needed, but if she was extra sweaty that day it gets washed. Waxes leg hair and eyebrows. 

Sleeping Habits — she generally gets a decent amount of sleep but it isn’t usually all at once. She’s a champion power-napper, and if she has three days cleared she’ll often sleep mainly all at once except have like a 2-3 hour period of wakefulness and productivity and then go back to sleep for two more hours, then take an hour nap later in the day.  

Eating Habits —  She’s a grazer. She doesn’t usually sit down and eat three times a day she’ll sneak like five small meals a day

Exercise Habits —   works out at least three days a week somewhat because she’s really sensitive to when people comment on her body so she’s afraid to give people a reason to say a negative comment. Like. She’s body positive, big supporter of you don’t gotta be skinny to be beautiful or healthy. But when people say things like “oh Franny you got a little jiggle in those thighs” it’s never said like a good or neutral thing. She had a lot of body image issues throughout high school and college, and came dangerously close to developing an eating disorder freshman year at NYU but kind of logicked herself from the ledge  

Emotional Stability — generally emotionally stable, like for someone with her mental illnesses she does great 

Body Temperature — runs hot 

Sociability — A social butterfly

Addictions — None; did abuse adderall in college but when she quit cold turkey she didn’t like. Suffer cravings. She wasn’t addicted, but she did abuse it to the point she realized “oh I need to...stop”

Drug Use — occasional use of drugs to make her trip, like acid, shrooms, but this is very rare, she doesn’t do it at home, usually if she’s on the road with other musicians or has gone to LA or NYC or London for a few days to have a songwriting session, the group will sometimes partake. Even then not every time. Used to experiment with drugs more in college, but still it was never...a TON. 

Alcohol Use — More than occasional less than frequent

Your Character’s Character: 

Bad Habits — swearing, next to no filter, temper when it comes to perceived injustices, tends to overload herself 

Good Habits — Keeps a detailed planner, is a maniac about drinking lots of water, is vocal about her needs and boundaries 

Best Characteristic — her warmth! She really is friendly and easy to get along with and wants to be nice. But she will not be walked over and will not allow her kind, marshmallow husband to be walked over so she will flip a switch to protect herself or her boys. 

Worst Characteristic — unforgiving

Worst Memory — it’s a tie between her experience with sexual assault, and the time her biological father’s wife found out Franny was his biological child, and came into her mother’s restaurant when she was visiting with her pretty new HUSBAND, and Nancy Boyd proceeded to beat up Franny and her mother

Best Memory — Adopting Wilbur! It WAS marrying Cornelius but sorry Neil it’s her baby boy now

Proud of — Her husband, she is so proud to be Cornelius Robinson’s wife. She proud to be her mother’s daughter. And she’s proud of her accomplishments in music and philanthropy 

Embarrassed by — Nothing, she’s great

Driving Style — Oh, aggressive. She’s an offensive driver. Cusses. 

Strong Points —  she doesn’t quit, she’s the walk through hell and keep going type of person

Temperament — generally she’s pretty even-tempered. It’s easy to set her off in an instant though if you’re being racist, sexist - any type of shitty person tbh, or being shitty toward her husband or son, but for the most part she’s pretty chill. She deff has crazy bitch energy just under the surface though and you can tell

Attitude — Franny’s not particularly bitchy, but you know, she can be

Weakness — can’t do basic math, very overly self-critical, perfectionist

Fears — Something happening to Wilbur tbh. That’s her greatest fear, losing her son. 

Phobias — Franny does not throw up. She refuses. She will literally feel nauseous and horrible all day to avoid puking. It makes her so anxious, she will nOT. 

Secrets — None really? Like she doesn’t blab her life story to everyone but Cornelius knows everything about her. She has no secrets from her husband. 

Regrets — Not adopting more children when she and Cornelius got married knowing they both wanted a big family; ever meeting up with her biological father 

Feels Vulnerable When — She cries in front of people. Franny hates doing it. She’d rather die tbh

Pet Peeves — when people are rude to wait staff 

Conflicts — She sometimes feels a surge of resentment for her husband during her depressive episodes because she kind of feels like she’s pulled most of the weight in their marriage from Day 1 as far as running the home, and feels like although he purported to also want a big family he never even offered to take HIS turn pulling back from work so they could adopt a second child when it became clear it wasn’t gonna happen for them biologically, but then Franny hates herself for that because Cornelius is the kindest, most loving, most wonderful husband and father and she feels so privileged to call herself his wife and...yeah they just need to have a long talk about it tbh

Motivation — to be the best at everything she does; to force space for herself where she and people like her have previously been excluded, to be so great that you can’t ignore her

Short Term Goals and Hopes — have a baby, but she’s 40 now and knows its not gonna happen 

Long Term Goals and Hopes —she’s...kinda done everything she ever set out to do other than have lots of children

Sexuality — Bisexual, leans toward women, but had more experience with men because compulsory heterosexuality in the US in the 90s and early 2000s, and genuinely fell in love with a man are has been with just him for twenty years now

Exercise Routine  — Doesn’t spend much time on cardio because she gets enough cardio walking around town and Pride U. Mainly works on her core, legs, and strength training so if a man tries to grab her she can kick his ass

Day or Night Person — Would be nocturnal if she could be

Introvert or Extrovert — Extrovert

Optimist or Pessimist — She’s naturally pretty cynical but she’s worked for like twenty-five years to have a more optimistic outlook on things. It’s 50/50 now I’d say 

Likes and Styles:

Music — there isn’t really a genre she doesn’t like - like her initial fame was in jazz, but she has an equal affection for jazz and bluegrass/classic country/folk music. She also is in an indie band, Seoul Hanoi’d. And like rap music - usually old school Atlanta rap, but she likes Kendrick Lamar and some other current rappers.

Books — She likes to read or listen to audiobooks about pretty much any subject except music and musicians.

Foods — Cambodian food!!

Drinks — She likes sweet tea, aaaand her alcohol of choice is Anything

Animals — Possums :3 She wants a pet possum so bad, she follows pet possums on instagram and cries at their cute posts

Sports — She played tennis in high school, that’s the extent of her sports knowledge

Social Issues — all of them. Climate change, racial justice, intersectional feminism, VACCINATE ALL THE CHILDREN UNLESS THEY MEDICALLY CANNOT BE, de-mining, Green New Deal, punch Nazis, hey maybe don’t put children in cages, Myanmar can you please not do that genocide you’re doing that would be swell, poor people deserve access to healthcare and education, housing-first approach to homelessness, the good stuff 

Favorite Saying — “Hoes mad”, usually said dismissively when she receives a death threat after a political tweet, or after a racist one for just being an Asian woman in the public eye

Clothing — Franny prefers skirts, dresses, and jumpsuits/rompers to shirt + trousers

Jewelry — She never takes off her wedding ring. She’s married af

TV Shows — Schitt’s Creek, Kim’s Convenience, a lot of Canadian TV she really thinks is funny

Movies — She’s a big nerd that loves a good documentary or otherwise educational movie

Greatest Want — More children, including one biological child because her mother always talked about pregnancy and childbirth like it was the most humbling and empowering experience she’d ever had, and Franny wants that. But she’s 40 and knows she won’t have that. 

Greatest Need — a baby lmao

Where and How Does Your Character Live Now:

Home — In a big-ass house in the wealthiest part of town, maybe even the biggest house 

Household furnishings — Not overdecorated. A lot of people live there, but Franny’s very much the lady of the house, and even more so than her husband is the head of the household. She’s not a dictator, like her mother-in-law and other relatives have added their touches to the home decor, but it is very much Franny’s Home with notes of the others. She’s very particular about her kitchen, but is very flexible with the rest of the common spaces. 

Most Cherished Possession — Family photographs of her mother and her family before the Khmer Rouge. Franny bears a striking resemblance to her Aunt Kesor, who was the older sister her mother had idolized, but who died during the Khmer Rouge years. Franny only knows of the resemblance from photographs.

Neighborhood — The rich people part of town 

Town or City Name — Swynlake, England

Details of Town or City — lol

Married Before — Cornelius is her first and only husband and unless he cheats on her she’s never ever leaving that man

Significant Other Before — nobody important 

Children — Wilbur Robinson, wants/wanted more

Relationship with Family — Close! Both to her in-laws, biological maternal family, and stepfamily

Car — 2020 Nissan Qashqai

Career — Singer, song-writer, musician, composer, musical actress, actress, university music professor

Dream Career — Musical actress

Dream Life — Married to Cornelius, with lots of kids, living her best life

Love Life — Happily married to the love of her life, her sunshine, the jelly to her fish, Cornelius Robinson

Talents or Skills — music, cooking, acting

Intelligence Level — High? Like she can’t do basic math but everything else. She’s a musical genius, is good with languages, and is pretty perceptive

Finances — Loaded

Your Character’s Life Before Your Story:

Past Careers — restaurant worker, event staff

Past Lovers — nobody worth mentioning 

Biggest Mistakes — “I don’t make mistakes”

Biggest Achievements — Grammys, induction into the Songwriters Hall of Fame, being the first Cambodian person to win a Grammy, International Bluegrass Music Association awards, ASCAP awards, and being awarded the national medal of the arts by Barack Obama in 2015 

[kurtty-drabbles]

Tails au (part 6)

N/A: This au is still alive, I guess.

@djinmer4 @dannybagpipesarecalling @bamfoftheundead

Hanako Arizawa has strawberry blonde hair, something the girl takes great length to take care as it´s dyed and she never liked her original hair colour, has green eyes 100% natural to everyone bewilderment (in the US, because, her mother has green eyes and she´s born in Kyoto like her mother was too and she too has green eyes) and of course, aside from having an unappealing and unassuming look, she´s a mutant who can seek information easily.

Of course, that´s not an offensive skill, but, many sides would love to have her on their teams, Brotherhood, Madripool, X-men, Excalibur, Avengers and so and on.

The thing is, no one knows about her power and she prefers this way, to cut a long story short, Hanako used her skill in Kyoto, Japan, to settle the problem and ended up bitting more than she can chew. 

She did enter in contact with a girl in love with her senpai, in a typical school of Kyoto, and give her information about her love rivals to make sure she could confess her undying love without a risk of rejection, yet, Hanako wasn´t prepared for the bloodshed, yes, she knew the girl would hurt the others, but, she thought she would just scare them and nothing else, after all, why kill for love? In the end, all Hanako wanted was to make sure her bullies were off her feet and now she has 4 coffin filled thanks to her powers.

Well, I wasn´t expecting to be like that. Hanako thought bemused as she´s on the library reading some comics lazily as her first period was cancelled. Love was sickness and Yandere-chan is 100% sick.

The emperor of Japan was ready to execute everyone involved in those deaths as if this would really help anyone, but if the emperor goes killing little girls...they would have to reveal a big secret her motherland kept. The country is filled with yanderes.

Better sent then to the US. Better sent Hanako to the US. And those are the sum up version of Sunfire, the first mutant in the Japanese Parlament in history of ever, idea and everyone agrees.

I´m a refugee and a criminal at the same time. Wonderful.

Someone storms in the library, ignoring the mean stares as some people were studying for tests and this person enter in a ruckus way, and finally found what she´s searching for.

"Hanako, I need your help!" Amanda hissed a tad bit louder to make, Jimmy, a boy who is really bad in math, hissed at her to make her silent, yes, Amanda is popular but even she must adhere to the library´s rules.

"Hi, Amanda, fancy to see you!" Hanako states somewhat bored still reading the comics. As if that would stop Amanda, in a way, Amanda is the opposite of Yandere-chan and that gives some comfort for Hanako.

"Sorry" Amanda apologises to Jimmy, who seems to accept and returns to his reading, and she continues to a more low tone. "Kurt arrives here with a new girl"

"Man, those germans can´t keep in their pants, can´t them?" Hanako jokes and Amanda ignores the insinuation to her beloved Kurt as she continues the story.

"And is one of those friends of Tabitha Smith! She was wearing a fake tail and ears and I´m tired to lose to a girl like her, Hanako, can you give me information about Tabitha?" Amanda asked in a kind tone and Hanako wants to say no. Oh how she wants, but, she is addicted to drama...and she can blame the X-men for that, right?

No, that wouldn´t be a good idea and Sunfire won´t help her and her family a second time, so, instead, Hanako decides to follow a different route.

"What you´ll do with the information?"

"Nothing much, I just want to set Tabitha and Kurt apart"

And this makes Hanako thinking. She knows they´re fuck buddies, but, can bet her life there´s no real feeling there, on the other hand, Tabitha Smith seems very close of that Brazilian girl, Amara, and is amusing to see Amanda go in an errands fool.

"You have to promise to not hurt or kill anyone with this information, got it? If you do...you´ll be in jail or worse and I don´t want that" Amanda is looking to the sides confused as to why Hanako is even saying that. Amanda does not want to kill Tabitha(hell, she´s not a murder, she can´t even watch the fakest B horror movie without fearing for the first death) she just wants to take her out of the game, just that.

"I´m not sure why you need this clarification, but, I just want Kurt´s attention, not blood" and Hanako´s powers allowed her to see the truth in Amanda´s words and it makes her feel a bit nostalgic because of this power also proves Yandere-chan´s words true...

Well, since she does not want to kill or hurt anyone...

"Ok, then, I´ll see what I can do" and she adds "Are you sure you don´t want to know more about the new student? Kitty Pryde?" and Amanda rolls her eyes amused.

"She´s a weeaboo, I get that, and really, she´s not a real threat. Guys don´t want to date a girl like that"

Ok, this will be fun, and no killing spree this time.

_______________________________________________________________________

Tabitha Smith is trying not to laugh at the sight of Kurt being so utterly besotted by Kitty, she tries and fails, as she´s back to Amara and Jubilee, Amanda appears near their coffee table and gives a sneer at Tabitha and leaves.

"What the fuck?" she says not happy at all and was ready to fight Amanda, but, Amara and Jubilee calmed her down. Is not worth, plus, she won´t bother Tabby again, right?

_____________________________________________________________________

"Kurt....you´re very popular" Kitty speaks impressed with her fluffy tail waving back and forth, and of course, making the others gaze at her tail in wonder, disgust and ridicule as they think she´s doing a poor form of cosplay. Kitty can deal with them, really, is nothing new for her. Especially those who think her tail is part of a poor cosplay.

Kurt, on his part, is not so happy to see people looking at her tail funny. And somehow feels as if he has double-standers. He hides his own tail, but, can truly be furious for how they treat Kitty? yes, he can. As much Kitty promised him, she really understands his reasons and asks for him to understand her own.

"Ah, well, is the accent, people love it!" Kurt jokes and Kitty chuckles and this seems nice, very nice to Kurt Wagner, until, Kitty states she has to go to her class, they have almost all classes together but this one and Kurt seems crestfallen about that.

"Ok, try not to charm too many people while I´m away. And wish me luck!"

"Good Luck, Katzchen"

_____________________________________________________________________

Amanda is the first to enter in the classroom and soon is talking with her friends about the last movie, a chick flick that won´t age well, but for now, it gives plenty to talk, and when Kitty Pryde arrives all Amanda can do is laugh.

"Are you doing cosplay? Bold of you!" Amanda said and her friends laugh too while some try to pinpoint what anime Kitty try to cosplay.

"No cosplay, I´m a mutant, my tail and ears are real," Kitty said as if this is the umpteenth time already she repeated those words. "And doing cosplay is fun, not sure why you would mock if you´re already cosplay as the biggest and dumbest bitch I ever saw in my life"

And that silence Amanda who was not happy with this news, but, the professor enter the classroom and everyone shuts up. Amanda may not think Kitty is a rival, but, she´s not obliged to be nice to such a lying girl.

Mutants have cool powers...I bet she lied to Kurt and he, being too naive, believe in her words.