#but also not even having proper resources or anyone to talk to who understands me

[sparkelingspectres]

Just discovered theres less than a thousand people diagnosed with Loeys-Dietz type 4 in the united states no wonder no one even knows we exist :(

[prolifeproliberty]

As we enter Lent and many Christians are setting aside additional time for prayer and devotions, it’s a great time for Christian women to talk about head covering in the context of 1 Corinthians 11.

”Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ. Now I commend you because you remember me in everything and maintain the traditions even as I delivered them to you. But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head, but every wife who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since it is the same as if her head were shaven. For if a wife will not cover her head, then she should cut her hair short. But since it is disgraceful for a wife to cut off her hair or shave her head, let her cover her head. For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man. For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. That is why a wife ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels. Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God. Judge for yourselves: is it proper for a wife to pray to God with her head uncovered? Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him, but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering. If anyone is inclined to be contentious, we have no such practice, nor do the churches of God.“

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭11‬:‭1‬-‭16‬ ‭ESV‬‬

If we read this carefully, we do not see any evidence that this passage was only meant for the church at Corinth. Paul specifically says “every woman” and “every man.”

The argument that head covering was the norm in Corinth also doesn’t make sense, as Paul refers to traditions being delivered to the church at Corinth by him. Why would he be delivering a local Corinthian pagan custom as a tradition? We also don’t actually have historical or archeological evidence that head covering was the norm for Corinth.

It’s also not specifically a modesty issue, as the instruction for women to cover is connected to the doctrines of headship and order of creation. If it were a modesty issue, instructing men to uncover wouldn’t make sense.

In addition, when we look at church history surrounding this topic, we can see that head covering was the normative practice for nearly every Christian church from the 1st century to the 1960s, when feminist groups like NOW pressured churches to end the practice and staged protests during church services, like one where women went to Communion, removed their hats, and left them on the communion rail.

So for about 1900 years, Christian women around the world covered their heads at least during church services and prayer, if not all the time. Then in the 1960s feminists decided we shouldn’t do that anymore.

I began covering my head during prayer a little over a year ago now. At first, I wore coverings during church and Bible study, and would also put them on for private prayer and devotion time. Now I cover almost full time, mostly because it’s easier and it encourages me to pray more throughout the day, rather than just at designated times.

If you are interested in exploring head covering, The Head Covering Movement has a lot of great additional reading and resources, and their Instagram is full of beautiful examples of what head covering can look like.

For getting started, I recommend wide headbands or nice bandanas/square scarves that are simple and don’t necessarily call attention to the fact that you are covering. Mantilla veils can be a beautiful option for church services and home devotions. I personally like bandanas and larger scarves like the ones from The Scarf Bar. But you can find what you like and what works for you!

I’m not here to guilt or pressure anyone into covering, but I feel the need to share what I have learned about it and invite the Christian women who follow my blog to read 1 Corinthians 11 carefully and listen to what Scripture says about it. Study it, study the church history, and pray about it.

And of course, please feel free to ask questions!

[crows-home]

Do you sometimes wonder if Maria had oldest daughter síndrome ™ and what was going through her head while they were haunting down his little baby brother who she never was able to protect and knows how poorly he is treated by everyone else but her ?

hooooo boy ok. i have so many thoughts about Maria Robotnik anon. You're lucky i have free time right now to ramble.

THIS ENDED UP SO MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD SORRY LMAOOOO

Maria is somewhat of a blank slate, no? at least, she was in the beginning. Her main purpose was "tragic backstory." and there's something to be said about girls/women in media and their only roles being support for the male characters and their arcs. but those are big conversations that other people are more verbose in digging into. also i'm sleepy.

Maria, to me, has always been a blank slate. If not, she's always been the "perfect, proper, glass child." Poor Maria, so soft-spoken, so kind, but sick. She died sacrificing herself, don't you feel bad for her?

i don't think Maria has eldest daughter syndrome. It's something adjacent, though. It's a suppression of emotions, especially negative ones, that can be seen as eldest daughter syndrome. It's the expectations that have been put on her, by herself, to be kind, be courteous, be good.

Because Maria has a terminal illness, perhaps since she was born. The people in her life care about her so much, her grandfather takes her to space because it lessens her condition, there is a massive project going on to save her life!!

Maria doesn't get to be sad. She doesn't get to be angry. She can't show any of these emotions, can't scream and cry about how unfair all this is, can't speak out against people talking like they've already lost her when she's right fucking here. She can't be "difficult". Because her family has given so much to her, for her. They're so sad when they look at her, she can tell. So, I think, Maria puts this pressure on herself. To smile and be happy and positive, so as to not worry or bother anyone.

Children do that, when they perceive themselves to be a burden. It doesn't matter if they're explicitly told that or not. Maybe the adults in their life tell them "God, taking care of you is so expensive. Do you know how much better things would be if you weren't here?" Or maybe their family is loving, but at the end of the day, they see their parents struggling to pay bills, struggling to put food on the table, and wonder "Is it because of me? Am I weighing them down?"

So they become what I like to call "low-maintenance." Never taking more than is needed, because they're hyper aware of the resources they're taking. They make sure to stay happy and agreeable, because they don't want to cause trouble or bother anyone.

In my head, this is where Maria was at. She was happy, sure! No doubt, she loved her family and her grandfather and she loved Earth so much, so desperately did she want to be a part of it.

But she could never talk about the ugly bits. About her anger and frustration and even the depressing thoughts.

I think she started to with Shadow.

Here's her little brother, this little guy that was born from a test tube to be her cure, but has a soul all his own. Who she could talk to about these tough things.

"I sometimes wonder why I was created," Shadow might say.

And Maria, her soul aching, understands.

They come to their own conclusions, on the ARK, about who they are. Shadow is treated like an experiment, a pet, a thing, rarely ever with respect. By most, except for Maria. Maria looks at Shadow and sees family.

With Shadow, she can be moody. She can be snappy. Shadow can be silly and as unserious as he wants without constantly being under the proverbial magnifying glass. They are siblings, that's what they do!!! They don't have to put up this front like they do in front of other people. They don't have to be perfect when they're around each other.

"I feel guilty," Maria might say. Her voice might quiver and shake, like she's admitting something damning. "For existing, sometimes."

Shadow, absolutely floored by the admission that his sister is not always happiness and sunshine, understands.

I love headcanons and aus where Maria is allowed to be just a Weird Little Girl or really get into what she might have been into (goth, macabre, art, etc.) It gives her depth. It gives her life.

So I imagine all this, all the ways this young girl kept herself amicable and calm and pleasant, because she's so afraid of being anything but. Then I imagine all of it coming away when she's with her brother.

Then I imagine her running down the hall, grabbing his hand as the alarms blare. She is filled with love and hope for a world that she was never sure she would get to see. But by God, Shadow will see it. I imagine that there was always the possibility of death looming over her life, and the bullet just sealed it. I imagine the guilt that she feels when she pushes the button that sends him down. I imagine the fear and sadness she feels at the thought of him being alone, ultimately knowing there's nothing she can do. But hoping it was enough.

[crossedwithblue]

You're a Mansfield Park fan?

Yes!

IDK if you intended it as such but I am going to take this as a license to ramble about MP on main.

I think the thing about MP is that people (especially people who aren't as quite intense about JA than I am lmao, or who have only read P&P before) often come to it expecting a light-bright-and-sparkling romance like P&P, and are surprised when that isn't the case. Hell, I felt like that too on the first read, because the pop-culture perception of JA is that she was a romance writer first and foremost - but the romantic happy-ever-after is shoehorned into a few paragraphs on the last page or two, and not even shown on the page. MP isn't a romance novel at all - I have minimal English lit knowledge outside of JA, but I'd class it as more of a bildungsroman, maybe? Or a predecessor to those modern Literary Novels all about objectively nasty people being nasty to each other? (More on this in a min) I would very much welcome corrections from people who do know what they're talking about, though!

To me, JA isn't actually a romance writer most of the time. She wrote really good romances because she was really good at characterisation and at understanding and describing how personalities interact to form relationships, and romance is just one type of relationship. It's just the one that pop culture tends to focus on when it comes to JA (I mostly blame Georgette Heyer but of course there's an essay to be written on that too). The only JA novels I'd describe as true romances are P&P, of course, and Persuasion - the rest have romance as just one among many other dynamics as a supporting or side plot, or a tool to reveal characterisation, rather than being the main focus.

Fanny is also a very passive narrator who tends to be acted upon rather than acting herself, which tends to irritate people, but MUCH more on that in a minute.

I think MP is in some ways sort of... cruel. It's certainly the most openly incisive and potentially upsetting, with depictions of complex abusive/toxic family dynamics that could probably come straight out of a domestic/familial abuse/neglect resource. The point where I started to enjoy MP was when someone told me to embrace the schadenfreude - everyone besides Fanny and Edmund (possibly - both points very much up for debate, but they are at least trying their best in the middle of a family that doesn't give a fuck, really) is either an actively terrible person or at least a pretty bad enabler. That did help me find the humour in it, but personally I certainly find it a bit hard to read at times, especially the Mrs Norris scenes. It's not usually my first choice when I want to be cheered up.

This also tends to surprise people, I think, because the pop-culture image of JA, (probably in large part due to her Victorian relatives wanting to protect her posthumous image) is of a twinkly, proper, sweet-natured spinster lady.

Which she was not. Anyone who's seen extracts of her surviving letters knows that she had a biting, frequently uncharitable sense of humour (miscarriage jokes aren't a great look, Jane!) - and we know Cassandra destroyed the really juicy stuff, so that's got to be the tip of the iceberg. This is certainly apparent in all of her books, but can be ignored much of the time - but not in MP, where uncharitable descriptions of awful people are pretty much the core of the book.

Finally, we come to Fanny, the extremely divisive heroine (not least because of that name lol). Personally I tend to imprint on pathetic small girls who need looking after, but Fanny is a massive turnoff (lolol) for many people. I think that's just a personal thing but I enjoy the effect of her frequently becoming another layer through which the narrative filters - JA was a master of free indirect speech, of course, often with deliberate ambiguity about whose POV is being reported - omniscient narrator or character or both in agreement - and if it's a character, then which one? Fanny usually says and does little, but observes very keenly and astutely, which interacts in a really interesting way with the narration.

Also, I'd just like to point out that Fanny is Like That because she is an abuse victim. She may not be the most compelling heroine for everyone, but she isn't going to "just stand up for herself". The one time she does, the Bertrams punish her for it pretty harshly by sending her back to an environment that they know will be bad for her physical health (!)

Bit of a tangent but I am also a huge fan of Jane Eyre and I think there are interesting parallels to be drawn between Fanny and Jane. Jane Eyre is a fiery, independent character who manages to get out of bad situations one way or another, mostly through sheer dumb luck (don't get me wrong I love my girl Jane but How did she leave that parcel on the coach...). If she'd stayed at Gateshead, I could see her gradually getting beaten down until she became a lot more like Fanny - because other than Jane's innate temper, they have quite a bit in common - they both do, when it comes down it, have a very strong sense of self (yes, even Fanny) and the ability to reject things that they know are morally wrong, no matter the potential cost.

That turned into a bit of a defense of MP because I usually hear people dissing it and so that's what I end up thinking about. Lots more to be said on the Crawfords and the Bertrams, of course.

[yinwaryuri]

I've held off posting for a long time about the issue regarding Build and Poi.

A lot of things have rubbed me wrong about the way it went down, how the people involved handled it in the beginning, I am severely allergic to Twitter, and all in all, it's been so much to take in and digest over the past few weeks. I have no real understanding of law for any fucking country and I am not a source blog for news or updates or translations. Speaking in support of anyone, to me, seems perfectly inappropriate and useless. As much as I have my own personal thoughts and feelings, I'm aware of biases and that's no basis for an open conversation.

That, and well....I've been here before. I don't mean with the thing about the dug-up tweets that caused a riot a few months ago. I don't even mean controversial celebrity trials in general. I'm talking about people I personally knew very well being in a lawsuit where some hefty accusations were made and the community got split over their feelings about it. It's a fucking nightmare. I don't need to repeat those details because it was a different case and projecting any of those circumstances onto the one in question would be wrong.

So I'm only going to say this once.

Cut it out.

Stop being self-righteous. Stop taking extreme positions and cutting off friends whose thoughts and views vary. I don't care how convincing one side or the other is to you right now - we do not know the truth and there is a fairly long wait for us to have it laid out for us. If you look at those supporting the opposite side as you and don't think of yourself as also potentially supporting a guilty person, please take a moment to reflect. What is your goal by acting that way? To be right? To feel right? To "weed out the idiots"?

Curate your experience all you like, but cutting people off to such extremes is going to make for very small corners and very nasty echo chambers. This fandom looked itself in the mirror and got so ugly the mirror shattered and we're all just shards now. Little pods of pro-this, anti-that, unsure-something-or-other, etc. There's still so many unanswered questions, and evidence to be reviewed and cross-examined. Some of you will still choose to deny the outcome because it doesn't match the narrative in your head. But before you reach that level of desperation, I simply ask that you put your energy toward making and keeping this fandom a place where people can come for escape.

I won't judge you for being open about who you support here, if you have chosen a side. But attacking and othering people really doesn't make you the better person and you're not gonna get some kind of badge of honor for being woke. A lot of us are just people who come to fandom because it's what brings us joy in a world that is very fucked up, so coming into that space to start fires and burn bridges is really shitty. Making people feel uncomfortable to speak up because they might be attacked or cancelled for merely wanting a proper discussion is awful and I've seen enough.

For those of you who could really use a shoulder to lean on, my offer is here. I can't promise to be a perfect support, and if you're looking for some kind of mediator in an argument that won't be it. But I encourage anyone who needs to get their thoughts and feelings out to take that opportunity privately. Take a step back or a break if you feel like that's gonna help. If you're still unsure, do not hesitate to use any resource you can think of until something works. This has been hard on mental health for some people and it deserves to be acknowledged and given the attention necessary to help people recover.

I still love many people in the KinnPorsche fandom. I still love KinnPorsche. I would love things to heal, regardless of whatever comes out of this lawsuit. I would still love another season of the show if it were possible, for current and upcoming BOC projects to do well, and for the other actors and creators impacted to still enjoy happy lives and careers. I hope this post encourages thoughtfulness and honesty, and most of all, unity. If you've read this far, thanks for at least considering my input.

[idrisofficial]

do a gtn x idris analysis. can be about any aspect

my worldbuilding is nowhere near as impressive or fleshed out as tazmuir's but i kinda wanna focus on that comparison! i haven't talked/thought about worldbuilding in awhile so this is a pretty good opportunity.

the dynamics between the houses remind me a lot of idris's noble houses, even if the political situation is entirely different. idris's nobles have no need to compete with each other because they all serve one government which they are (mostly) all loyal to. arguably the same could be said of the nine houses in regards to the emperor, but the goal of lyctorhood is framed as inherently competitive within gtn, their shared servitude is virtually nixed. but shit between the idrisian noble houses gets nasty too! the characters i have developed the most often have bigger fish to fry (i.e. the revolution), but for the nobles who are not first and foremost concerned with artemis, they engage in a lot of petty aristocrat drama just because they have the time for it! most want to grab power wherever they can, and step on each others' toes all the time to get it. they duel (yay swords!), they make political plans to directly antagonize their enemies, and they are completely cut off from the rest of civilization at large for the most part. it's part of why the nobility are so fucked up; the culture is and has been for hundreds of years to distance themselves from reality and engage only in what are deemed noble pursuits (religion, ivory tower academia, sparring, study of their political domain). this is, in a way, comparable to the transformations seen in first house when the adepts seek out lyctorhood and abandon their humanity in the process.

but really, it's what makes idris comparable to the ninth house. it's hard to know where to start with this in particular, because the biggest thing i have to go off of is Vibes. but the morbid, isolated feel of the house of the ninth is exactly what it's like walking around halcyon's castle. like ninth house, idris is a sparsely populated country, although idris does take up considerable land mass. only certain parts of it are really conducive to life at all, so cities become dense with people while forests and tundras are left abandoned. much like the ninth house, idris has been a sinking ship for a long time. the halcyonic values which idrisians are raised with breed a lot of patriotism, but anyone who examines the country's resources and poor international status understands that they can only go on for so long like this, with each new ruler only prolonging the country's slow death. the nobles are also raised with far too much pride to address the structural issues within government and economy. they're raised with far too much pride to even organize proper relations with other countries. unlike the ninth house, idris is not separated by planet from its contemporaries. but honestly? it might as well be. most nobles aren't even permitted to leave the country. idrisians have so much contempt for other countries' heresy that they refuse to engage even when given the opportunity. which, as far as i can tell, is also a pretty stereotypical ninth trait (although i wouldn't say gideon or harrow particularly embody it).

i do enjoy the harrow-brinne similarities as well. i love the way gideon constantly describes harrow's expressions as twisted or pinched or anything similar-- it's very brinnelike to me, even though brinne isn't really facially expressive. harrow's adamance about the face paint is a safety precaution throughout gtn, and it reminds me of two brinne things, the first being her veil. brinne's veil is obviously first and foremost her method of covering her facial scar, but it also represents her attempts to bring herself closer to halcyonic values and halcyon itself. it's not a coincidence that her scarring goes hand in hand with the nde where she hallucinates herself in halcyon's image (i.e. faceless). although the vision terrifies and traumatizes her, she becomes fixated on piety immediately following. masking half her face is a way of re-attaining the godliness of her nde, as well as keeping herself safe from the people around her. and like the reverend daughter's face paint, it is a way of altering the way she is perceived. the veil creates a similar imperviousness to the face paint.

harrow and brinne's loneliness and selfishness are also deliciously similar. they both come from childhoods where they were simultaneously idolized and isolated and that sure did fuck up their priorities! harrow is kind of a more extreme version of brinne's traumas. just one-upping her everywhere. where brinne was supposed to be the most divine of other divine children, harrow was her house's only hope for divinity at all. where brinne was expected to be the paragon among so many other living children (and failed), harrow was expected to make up for all of the children who died for her (an impossible task). where brinne was hated by all of the nobles growing up, harrow had no one left to be hated by, save for gideon, who did a damn good job at letting her know. but despite the disparities, i think the effects which these things had on them are similar. brinne is a failure to represent her lineage and her people, and the irreversibility of her blood is what prevents her from justifying herself in the first place. harrow is a failure to be worth all of the souls that died for her, a curse placed on her alongside conception itself. it's all very original sin-y.

ok im tired now and i should go to sleep but if i ever have the time and energy to add onto this i will. there are so many juicy comparisons between gtn and idris. it makes my brain go all microwave noises

[fleurdeharmonica]

INTRODUCTION

⋆｡‧˚ʚ ❀ ɞ˚‧���⋆

Good evening to all! I believe a proper introduction of me and my posting schedule on this blog is in order. ༘⋆✿

My name is Susie, though you may also choose to call me Victoria, (she/her). I am a student who is very interested in (British) Penal Law and Procedure, as well as Forensic Science, Victorian Society , History and Politics. I enjoy reading, writing and learning, which is why I made this blog.

I would like this blog to be a useful resource for people interested in the topics I have listed before, while also becoming a learning tool for myself and others later down the line. I will be careful in listing my sources, as well as my own research and I encourage counter arguments in order to perfect my posts.

I would love to engage with like minded people on these topics so feel free to talk to me! Do keep in mind that I am a minor! ༘⋆✿

(also, none of my posts about serious topics will be this pink so do not worry, I will treat them with the appropriate level of maturity.)

POSTING SCHEDULE

⋆｡‧˚ʚ ❀ ɞ˚‧｡⋆

I will attempt to post at least twice a week. Please keep in mind that my schedule might be interrupted due to exams or burnout ✿

I plan to structure my posts like so:

On Monday, I will post a detailed analysis of an event/person in history or a forensic science tool that interests me.

On Thursday, I will post twice, about British Penal Law.

On off days, I might post my thoughts on a book or piece of information I learned that day!

I will attempt to explain these things in a manner by which anyone may understand, while also including a more niche understanding of it in the post, for interested audiences.

This blog was started in order nurture my understanding and my mind, and I hope I get to do the same for you!

Thank you for reading! ༘⋆✿

⊹₊･✿ 𖥔ִ

[burnwater13]

Grogu was fascinated by starship design. From the small single person fighters and scout ships to the huge transports and industrial processing  centers, they all spoke to him. Mostly they said, wow, should resources have really been used this way? And then they said, we never thought anyone other than humans would fly us. Finally they said, sure if just one critical component fails the whole thing fails, but what of it? 

Okay, okay. They didn’t really talk to him like that but they did make him worry that the people who designed them weren’t always thinking about what the occupants needed. They didn’t even think about what the droids and mechs needed. That was a big cause for concern because it was pretty apparent to Grogu that the Imps, former or otherwise, didn’t like doing maintenance work and avoided it whenever possible. When you realized that their ships weren’t designed for maintenance it became much more understandable when they fell out of the sky like a rock. 

Now, Moff Gideon’s ship hadn’t done that. At least, not yet. But Grogu was pretty sure it would. Look at that thing! All sorts of angles and harsh planes. Nothing natural about it all.  It was just an engine, a cockpit and a couple of wings. Hurt anyone of those systems and the whole things fails. That wasn’t good design! Nope. It wasn’t. 

Now good design would have answered the question, what are we trying to do here? Then a bunch of things would have been recorded. Need to be able to fly in planetary atmosphere on a repeated basis. Need to be able to fly in the vacuum of space, also on a repeated basis. Need to… what? Hold cargo?, hold people? The choices there were pretty limited. Most cargo didn’t need life support systems, but all people did and some cargo did, other wise you wouldn’t have Rancors living on more than one planet.

Grogu laughed at that. He could just imagine the person designing the space craft that needed to move rancors from Dathomir to Tatooine. 

“Hmmmm, let’s see. You need to move twenty full grown Rancors, from here to uh… where? Tatooine. That’s a dessert planet. Rancors can’t thrive there. Oh, you want them for ‘pets’? And you’ll build them an appropriate enrichment center underground to keep them from getting sun and wind burned there? Well, I’m not really concerned about that, but does the ship need to remain on the planet for any length of time? After all designing for a jungle’s level of heat and humidity for a quick trip there is very different than designing for a holding facility that will be utilized until the proper enrichment center is constructed.”

Grogu laughed again. The voice in his head was kind of a cross between the Client’s and Greef Karga. Two men who had very specific ideas about what looked good and what was necessary. Then his dad’s voice popped into his head.

“Listen, what do you have available right now? I can make them cold if I have to.”

Yup, there was always someone willing to do the thing a completely different way. Didn’t make it better or worse. Just different. You needed to pay attention to those people because sometimes their ideas were great, but other times their ideas, well, they weren’t the thing any other designer would want to underwrite. Like the time Din Djarin used the N-1 to help Greef Karga put in a new entryway arch for Nevarro City. 

The old arch had been damaged by pirates, not Moff Gideon this time. High Magistrate Karga had been able to get a new one fabricated, but he didn’t have a crane, a work sled, or even the mechs to help with it. Grogu considered that just a problem that you had when you didn’t plan far enough ahead, but the High Magistrate managed to spin out a tale of woe that got Grogu’s dad to say,  “Let me help you out.”

Well, first they tried to just use Din’s flight pack. Grogu found that fascinating. But as much as they tried different rigging set ups and lengths and types of ropes and materials, Grogu was pretty sure that no matter what Din tried the arch only lifted up a 2 tenths of a meter. No where near far enough for it to be properly installed. 

Then, some of the other Mandos came over to help but that didn’t work either. They kept bumping into each other, getting burned, flying in the wrong direction. Din Djarin sent them home. Then he offered to use the N-1. 

Grogu could have told him that the N-1 wasn’t designed for that sort of work. He could have told him that heat of the exhaust would melt the strongest cable they had. He could have told him that hover mode in that ship caused a lot of vibration that could affect the foundations that had been created for the archway. But he didn’t. He was too busy healing the various injuries for the Mandos who helped earlier. 

So he wasn’t on hand to watch them attach the durasteel cable. He wasn’t there to remind them to put the thrust on it’s lowest setting. He was mostly sad that he missed being there to see Din position the archway and watch it fall onto the foundations and see them crumble into dust and the archway sink deeply into the ground. 

But he did see the finished product and leaned next to it and asked his dad to take a vid. The Mandalorian refused and stomped off. Grogu wondered what was bugging him. The  design was perfect. It was exactly the right height for Grogu to lean against and rest his hand on the ‘Welcome to Nevarro City’.  It looked great next to him.

[greekbros]

(so I was having this conversation with somebody about AI arts and how they tried to argue that AI art is good for conceptualizing color and a scene without having you to do the work of doing it yourself. They also argued that the ai art should not be used as finalized art but as a way to assist)

(the the best way I can simply respond to such an absurd and extremely naive notion is that the reason why a i art is so popular is because it already finalizes a piece of artwork based on description alone. There is no conceptualizing, the art already finishes it based on a collage of other works. It also brings up the conversation of what is considered finished or conceptual work. To me if it's not a official finalized work of art that is under copyright or is given a proper reference sheet, from its inception to the fading of its interest it's still considered conceptual art from a business point of view.)

(not to mention you have to understand the mindset of the kind of people that want to make a i art the standard of regular art, these are just a bunch of personalityless tech Bros who have no skill other than to violently exclamate out of their bodies and try to make a quick side revenue. Tech Bros want to solve problems that theoretically don't even exist let alone should even be solved.)

("I want to create an efficient way to make juice" *create a Wi-Fi connected press that just squeezes pre-made juice into a cup*, "I want to create a smart sink that you can sync up to your phone and have the exact measurements you need" *proceeds to literally create a sink that will not work unless there is Wi-Fi connection and is primarily useless unless you either physically or visually cannot figure out the measurement*)

(it's situations like this where someone can even argue that it is for those who may not even be physically or mentally able to perform basic activities, do you honestly think that tech Bros have people with disabilities and or incapabilities in mind when they create these ideas? Do you honestly want to put some semblance of benefit of the doubt for the literal group of people who have decided that eating and drinking is a waste of time and productivity and ultimately stay awake 24 hours coming up with insane ways to scam people out of their money?)

(because I really doubt people like Elon musk and anyone in silicon valley cares about those with disabilities like normal people do. And what I mean by normal people I mean people who fully understand and even experience the contextualize struggle of having any semblance of an issue regardless if it's mental or physical.)

(tech Bros will never understand the context of anything because the only context they understand is how to profit off of it without having any understanding that they're either merely wasting resources or they are over complicating a situation that wasn't even a problem to begin with but a natural process that did not need to cost $2,000 and a GoFundMe page to make)

(so why am I talking about AI generated art?)

(because the people who put a ton of money and promotion on AI art are those who want to use it to make cheap, uninspiring and relatively ugly looking illustrations for mass produced books that ultimately don't even have a story to begin with let alone artistic consistency. These guys just want to print free money and trick people into giving them that said money)

(these guys just want to solve problems that literally do not exist in any context regardless if you're able-bodied or not.)

(people with disabilities and neurodegenerative people are capable of art, regardless of how that sentiment even works or how you view that sentiment, anyone can make art regardless if it's something as simple as finger paintings or as complex as 3D modeling)

(by trying to use AI art as a way to excuse neurodegenerative use is sort of the same kind of argument as putting a pet down because its "less painful" when in reality you really don't know what the animal is thinking.)

(regardless of your capabilities or not, you are capable of art and regardless of what it is it's going to be beautiful and it comes from the heart.)

(and I'm most certainly doesn't come from a compilation of stolen artwork from other digital artists haphazardly matched together into a bland, uninspiring and relatively boring looking digital modge podge of concepts that shouldn't have been placed to begin with)

[myfootsonfire]

Please lemme know if this details your post too much. But I feel the same way about a lot of trauma related disorders. Just about everyone has some amount of trauma in their life, and it all needs to be respected no matter what the trauma is, but so much of online culture surrounding it has changed from "people need to be mindful of others triggers as to not put them in danger" to "if anyone does anything around you that makes you slightly uncomfortable they're ableist." And that's a huge problem that typically never gets brought up because you'll get intense backlash for "hating disabled people" even if you are disabled and are trying to speak out for your own space.

There is a very big difference between, "this is a trauma I got from a life event that makes me uncomfortable that I'd prefer people don't bring up around me," and " This is something that heavily triggers me due to trauma or an illness and will make me have a severe reaction that puts my mental or physical health in great danger." I feel like a lot of people don't understand how privileged they are to not know that difference personally. As someone with things like PTSD and psychosis, it can be so hard to navigate certain spaces becuase a lot of people fill it with every little thing that makes them uncomfortable. It's so hard to put stress on, "this thing NEEDS to avoided for my personal safety" there are about 40 other things on the blacklist that are, "don't say this name because I had a friend I don't like anymore who has it." Or, "I don't like this show it makes me uncomfortable please don't talk about it."

There seems to be a lot more attention out on avoiding every possible thing that reminds you of trauma, rather then learning to over come it. Things like trigger warnings are supposed to be for people who have no choice BUT to avoid their triggers. Things that trigger relapses, seizures, panic attacks, psychotic episodes, and so much more. This idea of avoiding everything that makes you slightly uncomfortable (and making other people avoid it to) is not only dangerous to how people (especially young people) develope their coping skills, but it also shoves disabled people who NEED those resources out of those spaces, because we're being over shadowed.

Like op said above, "if everyone is a little autistic then autistic people with big struggles are invisible." It's the same thing here. If all trauma is equal then people with severe trauma become invisible as well. As much as people don't want to admit it, all trauma IS NOT equal, and it's something that needs to start being addressed.

There is a lot of overlap with this TikTok trend of spreading misinformation with lots of things like, "everyone a little autistic," "oh if you do these 5 things everyone does you actually have ADHD." "If you talk to yourself sometimes you probably have DID" "of you are aware of other people walking around your house you likely have lots of trauma." And it's really concerning.

Not only is it convincing people that DONT have these disorders that they do, it also makes people who DO have these disorders not take the proper steps to get diagnosed/ get the helps they need becuase they're being spoonfed misinformation on what they should be doing. It also leads to a lot of people who are going off on nothing but misinformation insisting that YOU the one WITH THE CONDITION is actually wrong becuase of what tiktoker number 73 said once.

YES all trauma is valid, YES you deserve the space to discuss your experiences and be respected for that, and YES people should respect you when you don't want to discuss an uncomfortable topic. But if you don't have to seek a diagnosis for medical treatment. If you don't have to take a lot of care in navigating your environment as to not set off another attack/episode. If you don't have to worry about the societal stigma of suffering from these conditions and the day to day ableism that is present in every moment. Then guess what, you don't get to talk over the people that do.

There is already such little respect for disabled people and our needs, especially if your disorders are neurological or invisible to other people. The last thing we need is to be shoved out of our online spaces. And the backlash you can get from even just saying things like this shows the amount of disrespect people harbour twords our community and how people don't take us seriously.

You can't just decide to have a disorder. Making a self diagnosis is valid, and is usually a first step to getting a formal diagnosis (especially if you don't have the resources to get it.) But disrespecting those who DO need medical care/ diagnosis for our survival by continuing to spread misinformation is unbelievably cruel and shows how little sympathy you have to the struggles of disabled people to begin with.

(once again please let me know if this derails the post too much)

Im sorry but I hate tiktok’s “everyone is autistic” vibe

Like, yes, self diagnosis is valid but PLEASE stop telling teenagers that every quirky thing they do is a symptom?

“I dislike loud noises” is different than “loud noises make me want to cry and punch myself in the head until I stop hearing” and YES it is a spectrum but it doesn’t mean everyone is a part of it

If you think you are autistic PLEASE look up the symptoms on reliable sources, find actually autistic people who can really help you out, because thing is, if everyone is “a little autistic” it makes every autistic with big struggles invisible and the help we need is harder to get

I know its hard to get professional help, I really do, it took 21 years for me to get a formal diagnosis, but even if you are looking for answers yourself you have to be responsable and research properly

[victoriagibbs]

The College Essay: From a Fashion Student's POV

The college admissions process sets you up for whatever career path you want to pursue for the rest of your life. I believe that even deciding what you want to major in is the first big step that teenagers between 17-18 years old have to take because not everyone knows what they want to do so early on in young adulthood. On top of that, you have to deal with the stress of extracurricular activities, making sure you get good grades, a certain GPA, tests, and most importantly, the college essay.  Stress, Stress, Stress...

During my college application experience, so far, I have to mainly focus on two things. These two things are my fashion portfolio and my college essay. The main college I want to go to, which is the Fashion Institute of Technology, doesn’t require a higher GPA or SAT score to apply to the school, while other colleges that are more stem-based or Ivy League might see that as a huge factor apart of the application. I believe the scariest part about the college application process is to actually submit the application because you don’t know who is going to read it. That is why having a personal statement that helps the admissions team understand who you are as an individual can help you stand out from other applicants. In Getting In, Gladwell discusses his own college experience in Canada by talking about how he didn’t need a recommendation letter, he didn’t have to S.A.T. in Canada, and how in general Canadians don’t hiperfixate on certain colleges just like Americans do. He says,” There were no S.A.T. scores to worry about because in Canada we didn’t have to take the S.A.T.s.” This helps to support how competitive the college admission process is for young Americans, and how overwhelming it can become.

 I’ve noticed by going to the Fashion Institute of Technology precollege program and meeting some applicants, how privileged a lot of them were because their parents or parent was a fashion designer or in the industry. Compared to my life, the program helped me realize how different my lifestyle was from other applicants. Middle-class kids like me,  I don’t have as many privileges with knowing alumni, and my application could possibly be compared to someone who applied because of their status.  That being said, in my essay I discuss my upbringing, and personal experiences that helped me get interested in the major that I want to attend when I’m older, to separate myself from other applicants who most likely had it easier in life than me. In Fain’s Class Matters, he discusses how less wealthy teenagers who ended up becoming valedictorians have a lesser chance of getting into a good college compared to more wealthy students. How is that fair that someone works that hard in their education, and their college application is looked over by someone who is more wealthy?  He also discusses how kids in an impoverished environment don’t have the same opportunities or guidance from anyone around them on how to properly write a college application. Fain stated, “The valedictorians reported that the information high school guidance offices were provided on college admissions, financial aid, and college choices was woefully lacking.” Even though I didn’t have as many connections to my college, I still have the privilege of attending a school that has my major, and being able to attend an internship that’s in my field. Wealthier students will have more resources for different experiences in their fields, that they can discuss in their college essays, compared to a lower-income kid. The college essay is already hard enough to write, and not having the proper guidance to help you can cause a huge setback in the application process. 

 Lastly while applying, it’s important to know what type of culture the school you're going to is looking for. By attending three FIT precollege, taking classes at my first choice school gave me a better understanding of what to expect when getting there. It also made me realize that I needed to show admissions what I could bring to the school, aka my “diversity”. In Kirkland & Hansen's How Do I Bring Diversity, they said "Diversity isn't just race or culture-it can be your love of science fiction, your ability to distinguish between all the varieties of pasta, your killer parchesi[sic] game, [or] your Pied Piper-like rapport with small kids". Basically saying, that “my diversity” isn’t based off the fact that I’m JUST Afro-Caribbean woman, but it’s more on my leadership skills, the different music I love, the weird indie films I watch, the designs I can draw, and so much more.  Altogether, college admissions is a stressful process, but you just have to make sure that you’re clearly standing out compared to other applicants who want to be in your major. And even if you don’t have the same opportunities as someone else, try to research more about the school environment, and the type of people who attend. You can use the information to help stand out in a crowd with thousands of other applicants. Who knows, maybe you’ll FIT right in? Get it? Because I’m applying to FIT? OK, bad joke, anyway I believe in your ability to write an amazing college essay!

[stayarmytinyzenmoa-l]

Lapis Love [Ch. 1]

NobilityAU; Fantasy AU

TW: Language, Implications of an Abusive Household, Gaslighting, Manipulation, Descriptions of a Panic Attack

CW: Arranged/Political Marriage, Politcial Turmoil

Genre: Romantic Comedy, Fantasy

Pairing: Mercenary!Liu Yangyang x Noblity!Reader

Y/N Pronouns: Female (She/Her)

Summary: When hit with the sudden news that you'd be married you freaked out and with the help of your brother you ran away to avoid becoming embroiled in a political war. However, your betrothed was just as freaked out as you were and sent a mercenary after you. When you're two paths cross unknowingly, suddenly your month journey to refuge becomes that much more interesting.

(1/?) [Previous] | [Next]

[NCT Masterlist] | [Other Groups Masterlist] | [Lapis Love Masterlist]

Word Count: 4.9K

Notes: I hope you all enjoy! I really loved writing this fic <3

Disclaimer: Please remember that this is an AU and a work of fiction, obviously the idols mentioned/written about in this story would never partake in these actions. The idols mentioned in this work are meant to be seen more as face claims rather than the actual idols themselves.

Feedback is greatly appreciated!! Thank you for reading &lt;3

“Marriage?!” Your voice seemed to echo across the hall and your attending servants outside shivered. Your parents only sighed in front of you. Your brother glanced to the side awkwardly, it seems like they’d been talking about it with him longer than with you. Shocking, your brother had been traveling for the past year, to think this is how a reunion would be established.

“(Y/N), my dear,” your father tries to console you. “It is what is best for our territory. The Huang domain has many resources that we both lack and desperately need. Likewise, we have resources for them that they are also in need of, I’m sure you understand,” he explains.

Of course, you understand. You knew your family’s predicament quite well, you’d always been hovering between a state of poverty and a state of riches since you’d been born. House Moon has been on a steady decline for years now, it would only make sense for your parents to consolidate power with another noble house. It didn’t help that House Moon was essentially a self isolated noble house, choosing to stay out of imperial politics to stay in full control of a unique power that its descendants possess. But, as a direct consequence of that, hardly anyone knew of the family at all and hardly the family knew anything of the surrounding nobles until recently, when the eldest two of the four children attended academia and the next went traveling.

Assholes, all of them. Leaving you behind to get the brunt of learning how to run an entire region. If you weren’t so close to them you’d resent them for sure.

“I understand,” you answered, but you couldn’t hide your annoyance, “but, father, of all the houses to betroth me to why on earth did you choose House Huang?!” You argued. “Surely, there are better houses to be wed to! House Jung, House Suh, House Choi, hell, I’d even take House Qian, however strange that marriage would be—”

“They’re the only house who agreed to wed!” Your mother interrupted. You fell silent. Were you that unworthy a candidate? “(Y/N), we raised you in a way that you could choose who to be. You know us, we’re not active in politics and we’re not interested in the crown, but because of that… I’m sorry, we may have contributed to the downfall of your marriage prospects,” she says.

Brash, unruly, and bratty. That’s what you’d heard many people call you before, or at least, that’s what all the rumors said. With no chance to defend yourself, what with being isolated in your region for so long, you weren’t aware of the full extent of them until now. You could’ve been like one of those prim and proper noble girls who probably to make fun of you, but good god why would you ever want to be in their circle? Your territory was much too far away from theirs anyway to make proper friends. Friends. You scoffed, not only did your parents unrelenting support of however you acted ruin your marriage prospects, it seemed to have put a dent on your ability to befriend others as well. The only person coming to mind was the noble boy living in Stardenn of House Qian, and even then, he was more of an older brother to you than anything, he was Taeil’s friend before he was yours, after all.

“What… what does Taeil have to say about this?” You asked. Your parents looked to each other. Your eldest brother tended to be the more reasonable one of the four, anyway, if he heard something as outrageous as marriage to House Huang, you were certain that he’d intervene.

“Taeil was the one who recommended the idea to us,” your mother responds. Well, forget that. Your brother, who has been absent for the past two years because of military academy, for some reason thought that he had a say in your marriage. You almost laughed again. You would’ve resented his words but… he had a point. Your noble house is wavering in power, you needed this marriage of convenience to keep whatever favor you had left with the imperial family.

“And Byulyi?” Your older sister, of course. She was away in academy as well, studying politics in the capitol. 

“We haven’t heard back from her yet.” You weren’t talking about her approval. But, then again, Byulyi would never be considered a marriage candidate for the family, not when she’s been accomplished enough to stand on her own. Not to mention, she was oddly close to the crown prince. You shook your head.

“House Huang…” you muttered. Many people would call them the disgrace of the noble vassals, their sons were always up to no good, according to what you’d heard here and there. But, their territory was vast and happened to be right next to yours. With or without marriage, they would’ve likely encroached onto your vast territory of Evercairn anyway. “Of which of the brothers am I to be married to, then?” You asked. You weren’t necessarily giving in, but at the same time, know your enemy.

“Their youngest, Renjun.”

Renjun. He’s the scholarly one, to your knowledge, proficient in the mystic arts and well read, a stark difference compared to his siblings. One of military prowess and another of social ability. What Renjun lacked in physical ability he made up for in mental capacity. But, according to what you’ve heard, he could be rather arrogant. This marriage was beginning to sound more like a chore than that of a political agreement.

“Do I at least get to meet him?” You probe.

“A week before the wedding, yes,” your mother says. A week. Hardly enough time to get to know a man you were to spend the rest of your life with. Even your brother, who had remained silent this whole time, was shocked at her words. Your mother, sensing your unease, speaks up again. “(Y/N), dear, you don’t need to like him, you know? The marriage is really more for the papers.”

“Did you think that way with father?” You asked.

“Goodness, no, your father and I are a special case,” she says. Their marriage was one out of love and, likely, the reason why your family has been in decline. Your father fell in love with the sweet village florist who captivated his heart the moment she spilled a few dozen roses. It was straight out of a fairy tale, and one that you used to swoon over every night with your siblings. Taeil kept his head in the clouds when it came to romance, Byulyi agreed to only marry for love, your idiot brother in front of you agreed to stay a bachelor his whole life, and you… you understood that love… is an unknown and dangerous frontier.

Yes, this is true, this is how you earned the apparently popular moniker of the Winter Noble while Taeil was known as the Spring Noble, complete opposites the two of you were. Your older sister, of course, was the Fall Noble and your other brother was the Summer Noble. This, naturally, was one of the only reasons why your noble house had some sway despite its decline. Although it was each siblings’ demeanor that granted these titles, it was only a coincidence that they matched each of their birthright abilities. Your attitudes that were famous across the vast empire. Your brothers, for example, were so easily swayed by the people around them that you ended up growing up faster to be sure that they wouldn’t get into trouble and dig your family into further trouble. Sure, they’d matured enough now, but before he would’ve fallen for the most obvious of scams without you. One of you had to be the smart sibling, and that ended up being you.

“Why… why couldn’t you have just betrothed Kevin?!” You shouted. Kevin jumped up in his seat. “Of course! Choose the deadbeat of the family to marry off, why don’t you, what else am I good for? That’s what you’re all thinking, isn’t it?!” You argued.

“(Y/N)! Calm down!” You didn’t even realize that Kevin was on his feet until he was holding your wrists. You looked down at them, the ice that covered them slowly melting away. You pulled your hands from him and Kevin backed away.

“Kevin is a far better marriage candidate than I am! People actually like him. No one likes me! Hell, most of the other nobles forgot about me!” You continued to shout. “Who’s going to run Evercairn when I’m off playing housewife in Bleakgate?! Kevin just barely learned basic arithmetic!”

“Hey!”

“Silence! Byulyi is off trying to enter politics and Taeil’s about to be knighted! I’m the only one who knows how to run anything around here while you’re gone! Seriously, marriage, and to think that all three of you had the gall to bring it up to me in such a fashion—”

“Don’t you think we tried?” Your father suddenly snapped and you backed down immediately. This wasn’t something you were used to, your father was always the more patient one, he had to be with four children. Kevin, again, looks down at his hands.

“I… I really didn’t want this to happen to you, (Y/N),” Kevin says. You staggered back.

“That’s why you were gone so long, wasn’t it?” You muttered. Kevin could only nod. “How… how could no one have chosen you, Kev? You’re the best one of us all,” you looked down at the marbled floors.

“Please, (Y/N), you are our last hope,” your mother pleads. “I know, I know we raised you saying you could choose your partner, we know that, but, (Y/N), we are so desperate,” your mother stands up and holds your hands in hers. You’d never seen her beg this way. If your father was mellow then your mother held the family’s pride. She had to. She wasn’t of noble upbringing. You wondered how much that changed her, being entered into a society of high class without having any prior knowledge to it. To see her beg like this… she really was serious.

“O… Okay,” you nodded your head and answered with a shaky breath.

~

But, if you were anxious about this wedding, your soon to be husband was in a worse state.

“I can’t marry the Winter Noble! Have you lost your minds?!” Renjun’s hands dug into his hair and his parents frowned in front of him. He didn’t even know you. Now, Renjun was no one to be privy to rumors, but they’re all he had of this Winter Noble. And, to say the least, it sounded more like his parents were punishing him rather than using him.

“You can, and you must,” his father growls. “I’ve already had another one of my sons fail me, will you do the same, Renjun?” He looks down on him. Renjun flinches, looking down at his twiddling thumbs instead.

“But… of all the nobles… why… why her?” He asks. Even the Fall Noble would’ve been more suitable, they’d met in academy despite him being her junior. She even had more power in the royal court than any of her siblings.

“I thought you were supposed to be the smart one, Renjun,” his mother chides. “We need the abilities of House Moon if we’re going to take over the imperial family,” she says with a strict voice. Insurrection. Was this his fate? This was all he was good for, wasn’t it? Just a tool in his parents’ arsenal to be used against the crown. It only made sense, of course they’d want the supernatural abilities of House Moon, it was the only way for them to gain power over the imperial family, House Lee. Not to mention there was a certain compatibility factor in the lineage of House Moon, given that he’d always been gifted in magic… it’s no wonder his parents sentenced him to this rather than Hendery.

Now, House Huang wasn’t one to be trifled with either. They were known for their military prowess, after all. The Huang family was descendant of the first great general who aided the first emperor in unifying the whole nation. Military capability was nearly genetic. Even his sister, Xingqiao, showed incredible abilities in strategy that he could only dream of. Renjun, despite his lack in physical strength, made up for it in his capabilities in magic, something which House Huang was regretfully new to, and something his mother had a hard time explaining to his father. After all, until him, no Huang has had the ability to conjure magic.

Renjun thought that was the end of it. After it became proven that he wasn’t his father’s son, his father wanted nothing to do with him. He lived a significantly freer life than his siblings, and he was okay with that. But thanks to Hendery’s fuck up… now he’s his father’s new target.

Gods, if only Hendery hadn’t deserted the front lines.

As soon as Renjun finds him, surely, he won’t hold back his rage. Renjun shook his head.

“But… they would never agree to such a thing… their abilities are the whole reason why they’ve locked themselves away from the empire,” Renjun says.

“Bold of you to say that, considering it was them who came to us,” his mother grins with a proud disposition. “It seems that they are in a similar boat to us, their power is dwindling.”

“But—”

“Shut up and listen, would you, Renjun? Be smart,” his mother snaps “They need power, and so do we. You will marry the Winter Noble and we are expecting your first child to have one of four of the abilities, any will work,” she says. Renjun swallows harshly.

“Are House Moon aware of your intentions?” He asks.

“Don’t be stupid, Renjun. Of course they aren’t, all they think is that we’re in dire need of their farmland,” his father says. “Renjun, be a good boy, do you understand? You do know what would happen if anyone in House Moon were to find out of our intentions, right?” He asks. Renjun remained silent.

“The… you would repeat the duckling incident… right?” He asks. His parents nod, almost too casually given the weight of what they did to him. Ducklings. Renjun didn’t have many friends growing up, and so he’d spend time in the gardens instead, feeding the ducks in the pond and the other animals around him. Around that time, the duck eggs had all hatched into adorable baby ducklings, something which Renjun excitedly told the maids when he walked into the kitchen to pick up the usual duck feed.

Then, around that time as well, Renjun had made a friend in military academy. A very important friend, Lee Jeno. One of the many princes of the Lee family in line for the throne. Renjun had made a hasty mistake of warning Jeno against his family, stating that he had reason to believe that his parents weren’t fond of him. Needless to say, his father overheard their conversation. 

The next day, all the ducklings in the pond had been slaughtered.

Of course, Renjun knew who it was. This was a warning not to make a mistake again, or else the consequences would be more grave.

“Good, so you do still remember,” his father has a sadistic grin. “You will meet your betrothed soon, fear not. The wedding is two weeks from now, she will arrive in a week.” Renjun’s shoulders slumped.

“Okay…” he nods his head.

“Good, now leave, Renjun,” his mother shoos him away and Renjun could only nod, walking out with his tail between his legs. Marriage. He doesn’t want this, he never thought it would be him to marry, he was just a half son, after all, the laughing stock amongst other nobles, why would it be him who needed to get married?

He didn’t know when he got to his room, but when he did, he felt the sudden weight of every emotion pile up on him. He couldn’t even make it to his bed, he just collapsed on the floor right there, holding his hands to his chest. Was this his fate? To be betrothed to the Winter Noble, known for her cruel behavior and even colder attitude? Renjun could feel his entire body tremble, he didn’t want this. Would she be as cold as his parents? He thought that since he was just a half son, that he could get by without ever having to deal with such a thing as this, but he was wrong, he was so wrong.

“I… I don’t want this,” Renjun mumbles, trying to console himself. He heard rapid knocks behind him and he knew who it was immediately as soon as the door swung open and shut without him even saying anything. Only one person would be insolent enough to do that.

“Hey, high, ho, groom to be!” Yangyang laughs. Renjun lets out a shaky breath. “Renjun?” An uncharacteristic concern laces the mercenary’s voice, and in no time at all, Yangyang was crouching in front of him. “Hey, hold on, man, take steady breaths now. Do it with me, okay? Breathe in, and breathe out,” he spoke steadily. This wasn’t the first time he had walked him through a panic attack. “Good, one more time, okay? In, then out,” he says. Renjun, although still worried, was noticeably calmer now. “What the hell happened in there, Renjun?”

“I’m… I’m getting married,” he looks at Yangyang. “To the Winter Noble.”

“Winter… from House Moon?” Yangyang asks. Renjun nods. Even commoners know of the four Moon children, after all.

“Yes,” was all Renjun could muster out. It was clear that Yangyang was working out all the details in his head, he was bright like that. If only Yangyang had been born into a noble family, Renjun was certain, he would’ve been the most successful of all these snobby houses. Yangyang is Renjun’s best friend, they had always been close growing up, they were each other’s confidant. They knew everything about each other, Renjun knew about how hard things had been for Yangyang growing up in the orphanage, and Yangyang knew all about the abuse coming from the heads of House Huang. But marriage was a prospect neither of them thought they’d ever be talking about.

“Hey, it can’t be all that bad, Renjun, you don’t have to like her. This marriage is just for the papers, right?” He asks.

“I wish it was, Yangyang, it would’ve been so much easier if it was just that,” Renjun shook his head. The one thing Yangyang didn’t know, however, was his parents’ plan to usurp the throne. A plan that required him to have an heir with the woman from House Moon, in hopes their first child will inherit one of four abilities. And, if they didn’t, he’s certain that his father would make whatever fate fell upon that child look like an accident. Renjun shivered, feeling his vision blacking at the edges.

“Renjun, calm down, it’s okay, we have a week, we can figure something out in a week,” he says. Renjun nods.

“One week… one week… one week…” he kept repeating to himself. Could he escape within a week? But, if he doesn’t take the fall… his breathing stuttered, how could he leave you with the repercussions? His father was a cruel man, and his mother even worse. If he ran, certainly, they’d take it out on you instead. He could only wonder how you were taking this news.

~

One week. One week of freedom. You sprawled yourself over the bed, pulling your pillow over your face and shrieking into it. You hated this. Your family was never into politics before, how could they set you up with one of the most political houses of the entire damn kingdom?

“Miss, did you call for me?” Your maid pokes her head into your room and you handed her a letter from your spot in bed.

“Have this sent to the Qian Duchy as soon as possible, please,” you said.

“I will be sure it arrives safely,” she curtseys before leaving. The Qian Duchy, home to the one man you could call your friend. Stardenn was quite a ways from Evercairn even with an express path, taking about three days on express and nearly a week without, hopefully, you’d hear back from him soon, you’d at least want to hear his opinion on the matter, maybe some words of consolation. You hated throwing yourself a pity party but… who else could you confide in? There was another knock at your door.

“It’s open,” you rolled over so your back would be towards the door. You felt your bed dip down and a quiet sigh.

“Been awhile since I’ve been in here,” Kevin says. You rolled your eyes, scooting away from him. “(Y/N), don’t be like that,” he says. You didn’t answer. “(Y/N), I’m sorry, I really am,” he says. “I really tried hard, I didn’t want you to be the family’s scapegoat but… I didn’t win anyone over in the end, I’m sorry, (Y/N),” he keeps apologizing.

“Quit saying that you’re sorry,” you bit back. “There’s nothing you could do anyway, if none of those pretentious women like you then they’re all good for nothing, they couldn’t see someone who was genuine if he was right in front of them, and you were,” you said. Kevin, of all the nobles you had the displeasure of meeting, had to be one of the only good ones to exist. He was known as the Summer Noble, sunny in disposition, kind, likable, genuine, he was friends with everyone and yet with no one at the same time. Sometimes you were certain that only you could see it, the loneliness in his eyes. This must’ve been as big as a blow to his pride as it was to yours. Yet, despite those lonely eyes, he still seemed to smile at you.

“Look at you though, about to get married. Didn’t think it’d be you,” he says.

“Maybe if Byulyi wasn’t so picky, it would’ve been her,” you mumbled.

“Or if Taeil wasn’t so busy,” Kevin laughed. “Hey, (Y/N)…” he pulls you so that you could look at him. He hands you a letter. “I… I need to tell you something important,” he stands up briefly and puts his hand on the door. The area beneath it glows with a warm light and, immediately, his expression darkens. “House Huang cannot be trusted,” he says, approaching you again. You sat up quickly now.

“What… what do you mean?” Of course they couldn’t, who agrees to a sudden marriage? And in two weeks? They had to be mad.

“I have reason to believe that they agreed to the engagement with malevolent intent,” he says. “See, (Y/N), I wasn’t just out looking for a wife,” he says. “I work for the crown now,” he pulls out a badge for proof.

“You… you’re part of the Crownsguard?” You asked with wide eyes.

“His imperial majesty Taeyong approached me himself in academy and asked me to join. They desperately needed the power of House Moon.”

“Does mother—”

“They don’t know, I haven’t told them. And no one knows I’m part of the Crownsguard either,” he says while adjusting the gloves around his hands. “It would be breaking House Moon’s century of neutrality, but… I owed the crown prince a favor, this is how I’m paying for it,” he says. “I’ve known that mother and father have had their eyes set on House Huang for a while now, so, while I was in the capitol, I did some digging,” he says.

“Go on,” you moved so you could sit next to him.

“I think… I think they want to gain control of our abilities,” he says. “And in order to do that, they need one of their children to marry one of us,” he says. “Do you understand what I’m saying, (Y/N)?”

“They just want one of the seasons,” you confirmed. Kevin nods.

“They do, obviously, Xingqiao is caught up in a military campaign in the east, so neither me nor Taeil would be candidates. Byulyi is said to be consorting the crown prince, so she’s off the table too. That leaves you, (Y/N). And, considering the other children of House Huang, your likely groom would be Renjun,” he says.

“You’re telling me things I already know, Kevin.”

“That’s the thing, I figured it out before you were made aware, mom and dad told me about it as soon as I got home last night,” he says. He hands you the letter again. “So… I decided to pay Kun a visit.”

“You…” you hesitated.

“Read that letter first, and really really think about it. Because… if you accept those terms, you would have to go alone,��� he says.

“What, what do you mean?” Kevin stands up.

“I trust you, (Y/N). If you decide to marry into the Huang family, I’m coming with you. Because like hell I’d leave you with those monsters. Dad will have to drag me out half dead if he has a problem with it. If not… this is the safest alternative,” he says. He walks towards the door. “Think about it carefully.”

“I will,” and with that, Kevin left. You opened the letter as soon as the door shut.

(Y/N),

I heard the news. I’m sure Kevin will have given this to you after you found out, so I will be presumptuous and congratulate you on your engagement. Although, I know you well enough to know that you won’t take this sitting down. House Huang is on the Anti-Imperial faction, as I’m sure you’re aware. Marrying into that house would break House Moon’s century of neutrality. I’m not sure of the details, Kevin only told me so much, but I know you’re anxious right now. As Duke of Stardenn, I would like to offer you refuge within these borders. House Qian has long been neutral, staying here would both maintain neutrality and keep you from House Huang’s clutches. As long as you are a resident of Stardenn, you’d be under House Qian’s security, of course. It shouldn’t raise too many concerns, our families have been friends for decades. I am also willing to provide some financial support to House Moon, actually, I’ve been trying to send aid, but due to distance it hasn’t been the easiest and, as I’m sure you know, your mother is a proud woman. I had to decline your parents’ initial offer for marriage, most out of respect to you and partially due to the minor power struggle we had just gone through, but things have since settled down, you needn’t worry. Please, take my offer into consideration. I need not a reply, I’m aware that time is of the essence. I will instead await your arrival within the month, once that has past, I will assume your decision was in favor of House Huang, and no ill born feelings will arise from it. Be safe, (Y/N), and I will see you soon.

Qian Kun

Leave it to Kevin to be ahead of the game. Sure, Byulyi was heralded as the smartest of the four, but Kevin was the cleverest. It was no wonder he was scouted for the Crownsguard. You looked to the door. If you accepted Kun’s help, then that means that you’d have to leave for Stardenn on your own. And if you declined then… you could very well be turned into a pawn used by House Huang to usurp the throne. Although, you’d be lying if you didn’t feel awkward yourself walking into the Qian Duchy, now armed with the knowledge that he was one of many nobles your parents tried to marry you off to. Kun was a close friend of Taeil’s growing up, he was someone you knew well enough to trust, and he was someone Kevin went to for help. It may not seem like it, but of the siblings, the one with the best judge of character was Kevin, there were many times when he’d been able to snuff out insurrections before they had a chance, which is yet another reason why the emperor was so keen on adding him to the Crownsguard. You swallowed harshly.

Your choice was obvious.

~

“Your grace! Your grace, it’s an emergency!” A soldier barged into the dining hall.

“What now?” Master Huang bites back.

“Her highness… The Winter Noble has gone missing!” The messenger shrieks. The fork in Renjun’s hands falls and clatters onto the plate beneath him just as two pairs of angry eyes turn to him. Him, oh god, why him? Why does this have to happen to him?

“You… what did you do?” His mother seethes. Renjun shakes his head.

“Nothing, mother, I didn’t do anything, I swear,” he swallows dryly.

“Find her, find that noble if it’s the last thing you do. We need the power of House Moon!” The master shouts and Renjun could feel his heart drop. He had to find you, he had to find you or else he’d be the one to pay for it.

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[gripes-withthesun]

Some of my knowledge of theory comes from more academic sources as someone who is an academician, but some also comes from these other sources. There have been times where things on say, Tumblr and YouTube are way too simplified and the very format does not allow proper long studies. But there have likewise been times when I have had major disagreements with critics who are held up as some sort of Bible and academic spaces have been hard for me in those times because any disagreements I tried to bring up were met with "well read Every Critic Ever Written before you speak on this how dare you think you might know better". I do believe it has to be a mix of both. And in that i don't see Tumblr or social media in itself as the Other Option from Theory tbh, but rather I see a general idea of social non-academic discussion as the other option.

After we had our classes a bunch of us students would gather at cafeterias or in empty classrooms and discuss theory (and praxis) either in informal settings or in seminars or in particular meetings for societies like a Women's development cells or a queer collective etc. We were able to express more and varied opinions over there, especially raising questions that came from lived experiences of people that maybe certain theorists hadn't accounted for yet, but which we wanted to bring up before having to read things already written on the subject. Academic spaces made those discussions hard but that's why we took the initiative to start those conversations and people would not just go "yeah that theorist has no idea what they are talking about" and instead recommend other readings and form different ideas, often some of those readings being blog posts or even detailed instagram infographics from activists. The latter actually became a great starting point for things that were much much less discussed in our university spaces such as neurodivergence or caste struggles in hindu societies.

[See also for the latter: even a lot of (but not all, not ALL) proper written resources we had for it were autobiographies rather than proper 'theory' because many topics and identities never had the privilege to make it into academic spaces as viable Issues™ or as respected voices. So much so that for instance a lot of actual criticism we found tended to be from the point of view and written by the more, let's say centered classes about the othered classes on the periphery and insisting on reading those rather than autobiographical materials from within the community would just be wrong].

The point is that theory is essential to understand where we already are in these discussions, what ideas have already been discussed and what more can we add to the discussion. But they are 1) yes often very dense to read and as someone who had a massive brain fog from medications and lost my focus an incredible amount, that is something i absolutely understand and 2) there are often going to be ideas that are brought up and discussed as if they were beyond reproach within academic circles (see: people being like "so and so critic said THIS about the issue" and framing it as a fact rather than an opinion and insisting that anyone who disagrees must first do immense amounts of reading. not all our teachers were this way either but the general academic setting tended to be hostile that way). For that reason it is important to discuss critical and academic material outside of academic spaces. In informal clubs, in video chats, through YouTube videos that explain concepts in more accessible ways, through exchanging notes with your comrades and fellow students. Maybe start a theory reading club, watch videos and read the texts and discuss and make further notes from what you discuss. Allow different perspectives. Allow amateur perspectives. Give people the benefit of the doubt and the balance of this will really help you connect with others around you as well as be exposed to leftist theory without the burden of an academic setting.

Sincerely, someone who had to read theory for class while in a psych ward and had a breakdown over it but was helped by their many loving comrades through endless discussions ✌🏻

Theres 100% a growing attitude among leftists that spend all their time logged on that reading theory is either not worth it or is "elitist" and its incredibly bizarre. The left is not some club you join by watching YouTube videos all day, we're a very large group of people who base our beliefs on complex, fact-based understandings of class analysis and economics, theory exists to clarify these things. Anti-intellectualism in the form of talking like theory is just two old dead white guys is both counter-productive and actively stupid

[vampire-nyx]

Okay so, trans-x identities, here we go, I’m gonna go over the big three though I am aware there are more (I only recently like as in a day ago realized it genuinely is an entire umbrella of things) stuff will be under the cut bc I do wanna be detailed in my opinions and also not flood my follower’s dashes with this

Transage - I have the absolute most support for this out of any of the three, I even identify under it myself. It’s been known for a long time that age is a fluid experience and while numbers matter for things like laws, internal experience of age is much more than just what number of years you’ve lived. There are so many reasons one would have funky feelings about age and want to express that and it hurts nobody. The “issue” with transage comes from the people against it putting transage people in danger claiming them to be child abusers

Transabled - I’m a little less like, loudly supportive of this one but I feel that it has a lot to do with me just struggling to put into practice that belief of “things that hurt me might not be hurtful for other people, and everyone has the right to harm themselves and want to harm themselves even if I don’t understand it.��� I’m just getting over the personal discomfort that someone could Want things that are disabling and harmful to me that I do not want, I believe that anyone should have the right to put a name to their internal experience, and I understand that there are many many reasons one would identify with this experience/term ranging from biid to plurality to just funky internal experience- I have alters that probably would even identify with the term because they’re disabled in headspace in a way we’re not bodily. I think the transabled community tends to have a problematic habit of romanticizing disability and talking down to bodily disabled people, but that’s an issue with individuals and community behavior, not an issue with an experience and term I would also like to say, in regards to the idea of transitioning to be disabled, I also support that. So long as you are not taking limited resources as a bodily abled person (free wheelchairs from charities and the like for disabled people who can’t afford them) there is no reason to tell someone not to use mobility aids or stim toys or anything, the more bodily abled people use these things the easier they are for bodily disabled people to access, so transabled people using them only helps everyone

Transrace/trace -  this is a hard onw for me. I would be such a huge hypocrite if I said NOW that people shouldn’t be able to describe their internal experience. So I DO think that the term is fine, it’s not harming anyone inherently to say “hey I feel this way” however, in regards to transitioning, there is no ethical way to transition from one race to another. No ifs ands or buts, there is no ethical method of transitioning races. It is so so important when you express your internal experience that you remember that you are still in a real, physical world with other real people and real consequences for your actions. Cultural appropriation is never okay, it’s not okay to claim cultures that are not your own bodily. But on the other hand, being trace does not make you Not Allowed to practice cultural appreciation and use cultural items and the like in a way that is respectful for your bodily race, I don’t like the way this site throws “cultural appropriation” around like you can’t even look at other cultures or you’re racist (taking a japanese name isn’t cultural appropriation, wearing braids if you have the proper hair type for them isn’t cultural appropriation, etc) So I believe that would be the extent that one could “present” as another race, in a way that is respectful for your bodily race and nothing more, you do not have claim to things you wouldn’t have claim to as your bodily race and that is important to remember.  This is also another one that I can understand why someone would use it, from plurality to neurodivergency to spirituality to whatever else, and if it weren’t for the term being extremely controversial, same with transabled I have alters that would probably use the term. This all feels along the same line as the “kinning as a different race” and “headmates of color�� discourse, both of which I was on the side of the people kinning characters they didnt share races of and headmates of color expressing their race, so I don’t see why I would feel differently for a term that literally just helps legitimize and express things like that- overall it’s only the transitioning thing and the slippery slope into cultural appropriation that puts me off from wholeheartedly yelling my support for it

[mercurytrinemoon]

On houses, house rulerships & how ya'll should stop associating them with signs + a rant on the meaning of the 8th house

This is one of those moments where I'm going to say (read: rant, so heads up, I may sound pretentious) that modern times keep distorting astrology. I’m talking about associating houses with signs/planets (aka the “12 letter alphabet”, briefly mentioned by William Lilly in the 17th century but ultimately it became a product of modern astrologers: first attempted by Alan Leo and decades later popularized and named by Zip Dobyns). Can we just... use a neuralyzer and make people forget that method? It's ingrained in people's minds because, seemingly, it's easier to learn that way - search astro basics in google and you'll see things like "9th house=Sagittarius=Jupiter". This compressed version of astrology seems more accessible and easily digestible for a casual reader and not many newbies try to even question that approach. But there's a reason reputable astrologers these days are trying to erase it from everyone's minds. Signs are traits, planets are vessels, houses are areas of life. Houses are a completely different thing + every person has their own chart with their own house rulers. You can't say Mars is the “natural” ruler of the 1st... well unless, of course, you're an Aries rising, then yeah, your 1st is ruled by Mars, 2nd by Venus and so on.

Sure, some houses share accidental similarities with planets that have been assigned to them by modern *cough*lazy*cought* approach. Example, the 3rd rules communication... oh and so does Mercury. But then again, Mercury has nothing to do with health, injuries, work - all things 6th house. 7th is relationships and 2nd is money & values... and it so happens that Venus shows our attitude towards these things. I would sometimes find myself loosely refer houses to planets, like “oh the 3rd mercurial house” just because SOME of them do fit with the characteristics... and because it's a language that is well-understood (I won't do that anymore). BUT even when I started learning astrology, I had a red light go on in my head when people would straight up go "Moon in Virgo or Moon in the 6th". It never made sense to me. These are completely different things. And I've seen some awesome astrologers who would state things like "oh Aquarius Sun is basically the same as Sun in the 11th", like nah, dude. Because why? Aquarius is the friendly type and the 11th rules friends? Because Aquarius is the big innovator and 11th stands for hopes and dreams? But Aquarius is also a rebel who's stiff in their beliefs. Aquarius is a weirdo, is the 11th house the house of weirdos? No. Aquarius likes to be independent and usually has issues with feeling of not belonging anywhere, while 11th rules communities. THAT'S CONTRADICTORY. Because they're not the same.

Want more examples? Having Venus in Aries is completely different than Venus in the 1st. What do people usually say about Venus in the 1st? That it makes the native charming, lovely, well-put together, with great manners, maybe beautiful, graceful, maybe a bit shallow. When in Aries? None of these characteristics fit, on top of that, it's in its detriment. Our poor gal Venus is uncomfortable and confused in Aries. She's like, "conquer? Swords? Selfishness? Obnoxiousness? Sparring? You're telling me to fight people? What am I doing here???" 

I think it most shows in the 8th house, which... *deep breath* has gone through so much (ironically since it rules transformation), like, there's a lot to unpack here. "tHe sCorPioNic HoUse": tell me in what way does Scorpio have to do with inheritance, death, taxes, other people's stuff? These are the og topics associated with the 8th house. And by the way, it doesn't have to be a material inheritance, because I saw people being confused by that. You can have your 10th house ruler in the 8th so maybe you'll inherit that job as a chairman in your father's corporation, along with its renowned name. Or your 6th house ruler is in the 8th so you'll inherit a genetic health condition from your parent. 

Now, modern astrology, as per usual, tried to turn it into something positive (and psychological because apparently according to modern notion, astrology can’t predict anything so it’s only psychological *eye roll*) and put its rose-colored glasses on it so they'll say things like: transformation or taboo topics - like okay, makes sense, it's an intense house after all. Like a near-death experience or a metaphorical death will be transformative and maybe hard to talk about. And Scorpios do have the tendency to go through drastic situations in their lives and to dig deep & not being afraid to uncover secrets and all that's unknown and scary for others. There you have it, some convergence. But still, Scorpio and the 8th house are two different things.

Then there's the topic of the 8th house and sex. Actually, side note, a quick history bit, the 2nd century astrologer, Vettius Valens saw sex in the 7th house - because that was the thing that happened after marriage - it represented two people coming together. In medieval times it then moved to 5th house of kids - because children-making requires intercourse, duh. Listen, I get that the 8th, as the follow-up to the 7th, is seen as joined resources; and joined everything, including bodies... or bodily fluids... (tmi?) after you get married or whatever. I don't think that makes sense in the modern times. I mean, go ahead if you want to associate the 8th with sex but after some time of studying astrology, I see it almost exclusively in the 5th as it's the house of pleasures. Simply. Besides, technically you can get yourself off and don’t need anyone else to assist you. My issue, again, comes from the root of the association with the 8th. Modern astrologers started linking 8th with Pluto and Scorpio in medical astrology rules reproductive system and so Scorpio is seen as the fReAky sEx dEMon blAh blaH (honestly, try asking Scorpios about their intimate life and they'll run for the hills abashed). So it turned out that 8th house is the "plutonian one" (I had a moment today wondering if it's plutonian or plutonic and idk anymore) so therefore it must rule sex. Well that logic doesn't make sense because everyone knows that the first and most important planet in the matters of sex is Mars but none of ya'll go and say "1st house is the house of sex because it's ruled by Aries". So no, houses are not the same as signs/planets.

12th house has a similar issue. This one has literally nothing to do with Pisces. Like, I feel bad for Pisces honestly, you guys don’t deserve being dumped into the 12th. It's a rather gloomy house and the most positive thing you could come up with it is being the house of imagination and intuition - because it rules the subconscious and partially your mind. And Pisces is usually characterized by those two. Or you could say that they're both kinda foggy in nature - 12th is the unattainable. But that is literally the closest you can get with them correlating. Other than that, 12th is hidden enemies, succlusion, illness (but mental or chronic, it's a bit different than 6th). There's nothing piscean about it really.

But I get it, open most of the astrology books and you'll see chapters called that way. Why? Because it's easier to publish something that's shorter aka simpler for the reader (actually that was one of Dobyns' reasoning behind spreading that approach). That’s why I said it’s lazy. And someone would argue that it’s easier to learn this way - because the information is compressed into 12 sections (signs) instead of 24 (signs+houses) or even more if you include delineations of every house ruled by each sign. Like, “well if I memorize the meaning of Cancer and Moon then automatically I’ll also memorize the 4th house”. But in fact, it’s so limiting in the long run and then forces you to unlearn what you have learnt, which is actually harder than taking the time and grasping the proper meaning right away. And again, with time it warps the meaning of everything.

Saying house=sign completely discredits the purpose of even having houses. And then on top of that it leads to people not understanding their own charts because they don't know the core meanings of the houses and instead look at them through the lens of signs. "I have planets in Gemini but I'm not that talkative and extroverted". Well okay, where are those planets? Are they in the 7th? Then maybe they're not talking about you but about people you come in contact with? Are they in the 4th? Well maybe it's your fam that has those qualities? The 11th? Are your friends like that? Houses are areas of your life, you can't say "Moon in the 3rd or Moon in Gemini" - Moon is "how", house is "where" - these are not the same things, even if they have a few traits in common. 

Ok, rant over, bye.

[jazzypizzaz]

PHEW!!! finally finished that last chapter. I was drawing it out, savoring, even though the book was already doing that for me haha, dragging along haha. the peacefalls were pretty indulgent, in the best way though, wrapping everything up in a perhaps overly optimistic view of how they expect their future to unfold...

I'm mostly okay with it??

[[READ MORE]]

JEDD is MASON, but shares it, is the Brillist stem but never headmaster, rejects offices in other Hives. hate that everyone had to agree they're okay with him becoming dictator, more or less, before he could fill a more proper role, but sure whatever.

I really like how the change to every out-of-control Hive was how to share their best assets with the rest of humanity, and that this connection/sharing then serves as a check on their own worst tendencies. except for Humanists apparently, whose both worst tendency and greatest asset is being human ksjdhgsgs. Like I'm basking in the afterglow buuuut I'm optimistic. maybe they're on their way to a better world. maybe.

most controversial is Utopia's sentence of course... I will never be comfortable with Mason power in particular but the way that Mason megalomania is checked by giving up some of their trappings of empire helps at least, plus the now public oath pledging them to away-follow, that helps. of anyone to be able to hold Utopia accountable for their resources & what they're doing with it, Mason is most able to back up that threat, although I worry that Mason will see harbringers where Utopia intends only tools for exploration. there's a lot of crossover, anything powerful enough to traverse & survive space can probably double as a secret weapon easily. I love Utopia, and honestly in this war they did nothing wrong imo, but no small cult faction should command sole control of the majority of humanity's resources.

ALSO I still want more formal partnership between Utopia and Mitsubishi!!! once Mars is a garden, it refers to humanity under Mason hands? (I forget) but this is an instance where Mitsubishi institutionalized focus on land stewardship would be useful, and would serve as a balance to Mason.

although I still don't see how this prevents Utopia from dying out... I mean I think there will always be people wanting to strive out of comfort and explore, I think it's human nature, but it does have to be actively cultivated in is I think. there was something about how the resurrection thing will help solve this issue??? I don't understand, gotta reread I guess, BUT then again I'm still actively against resurrection/immortality as a concept so.

ummmm anyway I was enjoying the sentimentality and indulgence of everything AND THEN FUCKING JEDD AGAIN TALKING ABOUT UTOPIA!!! their first goal is friendship!!!!!!!! not power not empire (ugh why is anyone Mason tbh) BUT FRIENDSHIP CONNECTION KINDNESS and that's why they're who they are, why JEDD is encouraging them in particular towards next contact.

THAT'S WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT! CONTACT! CONNECTION! breaking out of your cozy little bubble, your safe insular community, your own inner space, AND REACHING OUT!!!! even when it's hard, especially when it's hard, that's what makes it all worth it, THAT'S WHAT HUMANITY IS ABOUT aaahhhh... and now that's what every Hive has remade itself to try to cultivate, with Utopia as its best future 😭😭😭. catch me all choked up again crying on my ereader goddamn it. it's very star trek. I love it so much and my heart feels so big.