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fucktheroyals · 4 years ago

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You know after reading and reading and reading peoples theories and the meta from before the spn finale aired and the meta writers reactions to the finale I think I have a theory of my own. We don't have any answers tho, so this is pure speculation. If you wanna add something to support or discredit any of this that's cool but there's too many things floating around. Know I dont have proof for this conclusion at all. A lot of what I say is just guesses based on previous facts.

This all came together in my head when I realized how much this finale REEKS of the original producers and who the show was originally for. It REEKS of Robert Singer. Like if the execs started saying they didn't want it, Robert Singer was the one pushing that the story was about the brothers. That kinda thing.

Then, I was thinking of the problems in this episode and it struck me these are all of Supernatural biggest issues and to be honest all of it feels completely deliberate.

Take the sexism for example, Supernatural in it's later seasons largely out grew this, we have Jody, Rowena, Donna, Charlie, Mary, Claire (and even a wayward sisters pilot with MORE women/girls) all making regular appearances. They're mainly good characters and mostly aren't there to hurt our boys. Rowena, of course, is the one outlier being very about herself but it's clear she still cares for them, I mean its part of her development. But they're all real, with character flaws just like everyone else. (And we have Death too and she was POC 😭 THANK GOD)

Now look at the earlier half of Spn, we have Ellen and Jo, who's appearances were far in between. There's Bela in season 3, recurring for quite a bit (5 eps), but she is a character that is only there for herself, definitely not found family (unlike Ellen & Jo), and she's got more episodes in season 3 than Ellen and Jo in season 2 who aren't seen again til season 5. The "fans" send in hate mail after hate mail to try to get these characters off, and eventually they are. Then there's Ruby who's character stayed for a whole two seasons and was a largely recurring character. Why does she get to say so long? She's a plot device. She's supposed to be there to betray Sam. She has to stay (plus Jared obviously likes her). But she's not just a character the writers like writing about. Same with Lilith. Obviously not as recurring but still a plot device. Did they get hate mail tho? You can bet on it. Why? because tHeY'rE gOnNa PuSh ThE bOyS (Dean and Sam) aPaRt ThE sHoW iS aBoUt ThE bOyS oNlY. Without even thinking about the hate mail, just notice how large the difference is from how women are seen in the earlier seasons to the later seasons. Misha got tons of hate mail too for being a character that could split up the boys (probably only being allowed to say because he a man, thanks sexist producers and execs).

Only after Castiel was killed off and then Castiel fans successfully (thank you guys) got him back on the show did the hate mail largely simmer, which means female character's were allowed to stay! Which has lead us to a show with a good amount of female characters. But can you imagine having to kill characters off time and time again because people keep complaining that the show is "only about the boys." Fun times really.

So now we get to this final and we see sexism. But it wasn't just the plain old regular sexism you find in the earlier days of spn. Because now, there ARE women to talk about, talk to. But this episode was DESOLATE women wise, unless they were used for plot (which is also sexist!). Small scenes, they're barely there. Women gets her tongue cut out. Random women from s1 gets killed. Sam doesn't SPEAK of Eileen. Nothing. No mention of any female characters from the boys mouths unless they were from/in this episode itself. That's WIERD. I know we've all said it. But that goes beyond forgetting about characters. I mean its SAM'S GIRLFRIEND for Christ's sake. There is NO REASON they couldn't have said Eileen's name. Notice how Sam's wife is just... faceless. This is literally an age old sexist trope. Like... one of the things about bringing Mary back to life for s12+ is that it takes this trope... of basically a generic mother, and gives her life and feelings, whether you like them or not, they're real feelings. They said Mary isn't just a mom she's a person. Mary's existence in the later half of spn is to fix this kind of female tropes that fall upon her character, to not let these her stay a 2 dimensional character. They said we should know she's more than just the mom who tried to save her kid. Do that is the exact opposite of Sam getting a nameless, faceless wife. The sexism of the old spn wasn't just brought back, it was completely amplified. It wasn't just accidental or some exec "fixing" the story it was DELIBRATE. Whoever wrote that, didn't do ALL OF THAT by accident. Because an exec or a producer who doesn't see the flaws in old supernatural isn't going to write it that deliberately.

Let's bring it back to s10 when Charlie was killed (singer was mainly to blame). Dead in the bathtub, age old classic of burying ur gays. If you were here you know people never let Supernatural live that down. THEY KNOW what bury ur gays means. Hell, Robbie Thompson left because of Charlie's death and you think the writers don't know what it means? I mean both Bobo Berens (especially) and Steve Yockey's careers are centered around LGBT+ storytelling and you think they don't know? They know. They know.

And Dean wasn't just apart of the bury your gays trope, it is so far BEYOND that. Dean being killed on a rusty nail/screw, the tongues ripped out, things that seemed to be meant for other people. Jensen's acting in the last two episodes was giving us "DEAN RECIPROCATES" but no one ever actually saying it. I think it's clear that Dean was killed for being Bi. They didn't address it for a reason, they just silenced him. His narrative was supposed to be about letting him be HIM for the first time, to say what his feelings are instead of having them miscommunicated, and instead of doing that, they just silenced him. And the more we look at this scene the more horrific it gets. The more it's a complete slap in the face and it's supposed to be. Some guy who knows nothing about the LGBT can't write a scene this horrific.

Some guy who knows nothing about Dean couldn't write a scene that deconstructs all of Dean's character development and gives Dean his worst nightmare. I MEAN DEAN WANTED TO LIVE HIS LIFE! THEY DIDNT HIDE THAT JOB APPLICATION (or whatever job related thing that was) IN THERE FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES THEY WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST SITUATION. Dean isn't Barney from HIMYM. If you watched HIMYM then you'll know Barney went from being a stereotypical ladies man and treating women terribly to being in love with a women and treating her right and working hard for it. The last episode of HIMYM (why its so bad) Barney's character development is thrown out and he's back to being a stereotypical ladies man. You don't need to know Barney's character very much to do that.

To kill Dean during a hunt his father never finished, to not have anyone at his funeral, to have Dean die young like his life didn't matter. Those are Dean's worst fears and you'd only truly know that if you watched the gin episode in s3, where they are basically laid out for you. You HAVE to know Dean's character to tear him apart like this.

This episode took all the core elements of the show and did a complete 180° the name of the episode itself is "Carry on" and Dean and Sam very much did not carry on. Sam grieving his entire life so that he good get to heaven and see Dean again. Dean being ready to live his life, despite the enormous pitfalls and learning to love himself only to be killed. "Family don't end with blood." Um.... it did in that episode either literally with Dean's death or you know BECAUSE NONE OF THEIR FOUND FAMILY WAS THERE. Not Jack, Not Cas, Not Eileen, Not Donna, Not Charlie, Not Jody, Not Claire... on and on we go. No one was there, nobody was even mentioned. Dean's funeral, no one even called that we know of. It was just Sam and Dean. Sam and Dean. And Bobby. Don't forget Bobby. But yeah Sam and Dean.

That's what the show is about right, the brothers.

Except it's not anymore. It hasn't been for years.

Cas not being there was deafening but it brought us to a major point. Becky. Becky's telling us about the terrible ending.

And many of us are wondering why would they literally tell us this is the worst ending and then... make it the ending.

Now before we move on, it very apparent many of you think Dabb doesn't ship Deancas. And Dabb doesn't care about the characters.

Say what you will about any plot holes in his writing, the point he is VERY GOOD at writing the characters, and giving us good ones.

Why do we know Dabb ships Deancas? (ill say when its cowrote, other wise its not) cowrote ep 8.02 - purgatory "I prayed to you, Cas, every night" "Cas, Buddy, I need you." "I have a price on my head, and I've been trying to stay one step ahead of them, to – to keep them away from you." 8.08 Hunteri Heroici - Cas helps them hunt! 😊❤ Dean & Cas have a serious convo about why Cas doesn't want to see/go to heaven. 8.22 Dean's mad at Cas. Sam's explanation of why Dean should be easy on Cas: "It's Cas." Dean then points out how he'd knife anybody else if they did what Cas did. 9.10 - Cas comforts Dean when Dean can't take seeing Sam (Gadreel) being tortured anymore. Also tons of Cas. 9.20 (bloodlines) - Canonical couple parallel "I was there, where were you" 9.22 The angels make Cas choose between them and killing Dean and he "gave up an entire army for one guy" 10.09 Claire's reintroduction. Cas heavy ep. DeanCas date. 10.22 THE PRISONER - u know the ep where Dean beats the shit out of Cas but loves him enough to not kill him.

We COULD keep going but I think I've made my point. If Robert Singer is the guy that is like "the show is about Sam and Dean only" Andrew Dabb is the DeanCas shipper. And you could even say a Cas stan.

Notice! How in s13 for SEVEN episodes we have a story that revolves around Dean's grief about losing Cas. Notice! How often the stories in all these seasons have a focus on their relationship. THAT is Andrew Dabb. If it weren't for him doing that, we wouldn't be able to easily say after Dean's lack of a response to Cas' confession, that Dean reciprocates.

To me, when I was (binge) watching s12 for the first time, I thought damn this is really got a lot of DeanCas. So I went to look at who was in charge, who was writing. I saw Andrew Dabb, associated him with Deancas episodes, saw all the new writers, Bobo, and then I saw that Yockey is known for same sex stories and it clicked. Dabb assembled a team to give us Destiel. THAT WAS IN SEASON 12!!!!!!!!

The amount of people saying he's homophobic flabbergast me. Open your eyes! That isn't what's going on.

Imagine making a show and trying to right all the wrongs of Supernatural. Imagine trying to write the greatest love story ever told and you have the entire season planned out for it to end off beautifully, it may possibly be your greatest achievement when it's done and then boom. someone comes in and tells you you aren't allowed to make Dean bi or make destiel endgame, after he was most probably already given the go ahead.

Sure. You could imply he's bi or into cas still in a way. Still make nice-ish ending. just give everyone what the kinda want.

Or you could scrap the last season, nothing close to a canonical bisexual Dean Winchester or Deancas endgame in site. People can be done with it be happy with the show, continue to live their lives in ignorance as to how close they were to Canon destiel.

OR you can lead everyone to the very closest you can get them to what you were aiming for and then show everyone the ugly truth and reality. Light it all on fire. Burn the show to the ground in your wake. Try your darnedest to making these people's (the people saying no) pockets suffer. Show us, the audience, what happened. Show us what this show really is.

I've seen people talk about the ending being changed during covid but I dont think that happened. I think what happened was Dabb already had this season planned out before it even started. Obviously the details were wobbly but it was all lead up to this ending. Destiel endgame, Canon Bisexual Dean, whatever it was. They were ready to write the greatest love story ever told and then someone shut it down.

Imagine the pain that must have caused them to be told no when they already said yes. They must have been so excited to give this to us.

I think someone (some producers) told him what this show is "really" about. The brothers. Can you imagine, after being told no, some kinda bullshit like this is said to you: "Why aren't you bringing it back to the brothers, Andrew? that's what the shows about. What with all this homosexual stuff, you know the audience won't like that. Not really." Imagine the original producers pushing this kind of view on you. "You know when we started it was Sam and Dean. It should end with Sam and Dean." That kinda sounds like someone huh? huh.

So why give us a nice acceptable finale, when you can take every problem Supernatural's had either up front or behind the scenes and create a finale so incredibly bad that people don't want to watch it anymore.

Someone made a good point about how Sam was originally supposed to be the main focus (this isn't to put any hate on Sam or Jared). Dean and Sam are the main characters but Sam was supposed to be the focus and for Dean to have become the focus, must have annoyed the producers because... well here we are. They wouldn't listen to Jensen. The producers liked this ending. Jensen's opinion didn't matter to them.

In some ways, if this is really what happened, it can be seen as childish from Dabb. To hurt all of us like that. Yes, he's hurting the producers, the execs, the cw. But to hurt us? Yeah it stings.

But in other ways, if this is really what happened, this is Dabb showing us the muck and gunk under the shiny surface. The hate for Misha. The hidden hate for Jensen. The underlying sexism. The underlying homophobia. The people REALLY in charge don't care about us, they just want our money. He needed to open our eyes and free us, at least free the people that he was writing for. The people he sees that care about this show.

This is the ending the powers that be wanted and its a big fuck you for a reason. I dont think this is Dabb spitting in our faces for loving this show, I think this is him trying to get revenge for us.

But from here, you can see it how u want it. If this is really what happened, I'm not in charge of your emotions, if you wanna be mad be mad if you wanna be grateful be grateful. And you don't have to believe me either I said this is speculation.

Also, as for all of the rumors like there being shots to the confession scene that we didn't see, which Jensen himself implied, I think that might have been a last ditch effort to canonized DeanCas but obviously it was cut. Like the name change was pretty clear. As for Misha possibly having shot some stuff for 20 I dont know what to tell you. If it's true I dont know where the blame would lie.

I do think however, that if all this was the case, the writers were prepared to become villians here. I mean they told us the writers were villians with Chuck right? So. Who knows what went down so they could give us such a vile ending. It could've been the producers or the writers, who truly knows. I do think tho that people we "trust" did some pretty shitty things to push the narrative in certain directions so now one would see this as the actual ending that was coming.

So again do with my SPECULATION what you will. This was in no way meant to put Dabb on a pedestal or anything. Just meant to give a bit of perspective.

(Also Jensen didn't unfollow Dabb recently he was already unfollowed for years)

#15x20 wank #spn finale wank #spn finale meta #15x20 meta #Andrew Dabb #spn #supernatural #castiel #dean winchester #destiel #deancas #misha collins #jensen ackles #long post #sorry im on mobile #this is the longest post i have ever writen

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dreadpoetssociety · 4 years ago

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I Just Want My Brother

TW: Kidnapping, Abuse, Death, Drugs, Mentions of blood.

Prompt: hi! i loved ur reid x sis!reader!! i was wondering if u could do one with reid x teen sis!reader and maybe she was a witness to something or got kidnapped and survived or something so they have to give her a cognitive interview and she refuses to do it unless spence is there or the one asking her the questions

Note: I really liked this request. I feel like I may have gotten off topic a littttttttle bit, but I tried my best! Also, sorry for any grammatical mistakes!

()()()()()()

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Sister!Reader

Word Count: 3589

You were never really one to defy your elder brother’s rules, given how lenient he was with you, but it was supposed to just be one fun night out with your friends. The night scene that your friends adored was never really your cup of tea due to the horror stories Spencer would come home with. Girls getting kidnapped going on a run, girls being drugged and killed at a party, girls just going missing off the streets never to be found until it was too late, things like that. After a while, he slowly stopped giving you the gory details when he’d noticed the actual effect it had on your own life, whether or not you chose to acknowledge that when begging him to tell you more, but not knowing what was out there did scare you. Especially after stealing one of Spence’s files and looking at the photos that it held.

But, you were feeling daring on this particular night. Your friends finally convinced you to sneak out of the house. Spencer wouldn’t be back from his current job until morning, and even if you did get caught, you were generally a good kid. You bent the rules from time to time, but most high-schoolers you knew were sneaking out regularly, skipping class, doing hard drugs and even getting arrested from time to time. How bad could you be? At least, that was the reasoning your friends put into your head.

So, you thought hey, if you ever have kids, mind as well at least have one cool story to tell them. You didn’t even bother to go through the apartment window, you just walked out the door and met your friends out on the street. It was nearly midnight, but the night had just begun.

It was hours of going to this person’s house and that person’s apartment, stopping by a random party and making noise in the streets, until finally, your friends made it to a bar.

“You know,” you laughed a little anxiously, “maybe we shouldn’t. I mean I don’t even have a way of getting in there.”

“Y/N, chill. I know your brother freaks you into obeying the rules, but those things he sees have like a .0001% of actually happening. Like what are the chances really?” your friend, Elliot, smiled at you.

“Actually, about one out of 300,000 people get kidnapped, which doesn’t seem like a lot, but the actual percentage is-“

“Y/N, we’re fine! Kids do this all the time. Plus, I already paid that Barry kid to make you a fake. Consider it an early birthday gift.” your other friend, Sheila, pulled out her purse and passed you the piece of plastic. Although incredibly concerned, you were impressed by how realistic it was. You sighed.

“Fine, you’re right.” you laughed, “But there’s no way I’m convincing that bouncer that I’m 21.”

“Confidence is key. Just stroll past him like you know what you’re doing. If you look nervous they’ll know. I swear, Y/N, those dudes can smell fear.” Elliot laughed. The three of you made your way to said club entrance, and although the bouncer did seem suspicious of you, he just let you in anyway.

The club was loud, there was a band on stage and lasers going throughout the room. Alice and Elliot didn’t hesitate to drag you to the bar first. You’d drank a little before, but you’d never gotten buzzed, let alone completely drunk. It wasn’t really your style, and thankfully, Elliot and Alice respected that. They pressured you to do a lot of things, but not anything like drugs or alcohol. They merely pushed you out of your comfort zone sometimes, and irregardless of whether or not the adults around you thought they were a good influence didn’t matter to you.

“We’re going to go dance, but we’ll be nearby if you don’t want to join us! Just make sure not to go too far alone, Y/N” Alice stated, knowing you would absolutely not agree to dance with them. You smiled and nodded and the two went off to do their thing within your sight.

“What can I get you, young lady?” the man at the bar caught you off guard.

“Oh, uh, maybe just a glass of water?”

“Ah, designated driver I presume?” he laughed.

“Yeah, something like that.” you replied, “Someone’s gotta keep an eye on those two.” you nudged your head towards your two friends who were living it up with some other people in the crowd who you think might’ve been your age, too. You were sort of surprised at how easy it was to get into this club, considering so many of your peers get thrown out of it or get caught.

The man passed you the water and walked off almost a bit angrily. Understandably, though, because water is free. You made a note to leave the man a tip later anyway. It was the least you could do. You played with the straw, took a few sips, and watched as your friends danced the night away.

After a while, though, you began to feel off. Dizzy even, and you couldn’t think clearly. It was a hot summer night in a hot crowded club, the one cup of water you drank all day was right in front of you, so you figured it was the heat. You decided to take a quick trip outside to try and catch some air.

It was when you left the club that it really hit you. The world was turning, and you were barely able to stay awake.

The club was located in an area that wasn’t super lit other than the one club sign. The bouncers must’ve been in the midst of switching shifts because there wasn’t one outside.

“Hey young lady, you okay?” a man’s voice was all you could make out of him. You could see him, but you couldn’t, and it didn’t make sense. Someone grabbed you and the world went dark.

()()()()()()

You woke up slowly. You didn’t recognize your surroundings, the walls were concrete and disgusting. The room reeked of something.

You tried to stand, but something was holding you to the floor. Having looked down, you noticed sort chains attached to both wrists. Your heart sped up, but you didn’t scream.

How the hell. . . you thought. How did they get me here?

The last thing you could really remember was the water. What was in the water? It was too slow to be ketamine, too fast to be rohypnol. You wondered. Oh my god, gamma hydroxybutyric acid. Or cherry meth.

You heard someone make a noise and instantly forgot about the debate in your head. Being able to think more clearly, and your eyesight less blurred, you began to take in your surroundings. There were windows in two two of the walls without glass. Taking a look, you noticed three other women in you line of sight. One in the room with you, who was starting to wake up, and two through the left and right windows. Straight ahead was a doorway that showed a room with a table on in the middle.

It was then that you really began to understand what was happening. The exact thing you were afraid of this whole time. Your breath sped up, your heart was nearly coming out of your body, your blood ran cold.

“Hey,” the girl was awake now, “I’m Charlotte.” you looked at her wide eyed. Here you two were, chained against a wall, she was bruised and bloodied up and down, and she decided that it was appropriate to introduce herself?

“What’s happening?” you didn’t even think to reply back to her. She could be anyone. She could be the person who took you, acting as your friend. Your paranoid mind raced through multiple scenarios.

“Look, you’ll be fine as long as you listen.”

“Listen? Listen to what? To who? Who took us? What are they-“

“You need to calm down.” she whispered, “If they hear you they’ll come. They haven’t been so nice to the noisy ones.”

If anything anybody had never shut you up before, that certainly did. You could feel the fear in every nerve of your body. he other girls around you faced the floor. One was in a party dress, the other in a pan suit. Looking at them, the girls had nothing in common. One had dark hair, the other had her hair dyed a faded blue, and the last was blonde, each with a different eye color and skin tone. You tried your best to think like your brother, but you couldn’t. Unlike him, you weren’t a genius, you were just average.

You heard a door creek open and all the girls instantly looked up. Through the doorway of your room, you saw a masked man walk in. You could almost hear the other girls’ hearts pumping. You watched in terror as he began to step towards you. When he got into the room, though, he turned towards Charlotte, and began unchaining her.

“No, please!” she cried, “Please, I’m sorry.”

“Shut up.”

Charlotte went quiet. He aggressively picked her up by her arm and dragged her to the table, of which he pinned her down onto and began to strap her in. It wasn’t long before he opened a cabinet out of your view, and pulled out various rusty tools.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” you asked. You didn’t even think out what you were doing. What the hell do you think YOU’RE doing, Y/N? you thought to yourself. Unconsciously, you knew that you can’t profile this guy like Spencer could, you couldn’t talk your way out of this, but you could protect the girls around you. How? By pissing him off.

“Don’t speak, woman.” he growled.

“What are you going to do about it? Kill me?” he slammed a knife-like tool straight down into the table a millimeter next to Charlotte’s abdomen, “What? Did I hurt your masculinity, big boy?”

He unstrapped her quickly. You figured what was coming for you next, and it wasn’t long before you were on that table. The leather restraints were on way too tight, there were splinters in your back already from the poorly sanded wooden table, which you figured was on purpose. And all you could do was watch, and scream, as this man did whatever he wanted to you. hitting you, cutting you, seemingly testing out tools you’d never even seen before. The camera on the ceiling told you that he was recording this all to watch later.

And all you could do was scream out your brother’s name.

()()()()()()

You didn’t know how long you were there. Hours, days, weeks, you had no idea. Time didn’t exist down there. Ever since your first encounter with the man, you tried to deter him from the other women around you any time he came around. And fortunately for them but not for you, it worked.

All of the pain and screaming left you numb, but it wasn’t until you saw him get angrier with one of the other girls that you weren’t able to comprehend your situation anymore.

She hadn’t been doing well, the one in the party dress. The color in her skin was drained, making her paler, her eyes sunk. And you watched as the man pulled a knife from his pocket, and stuck it right through her heart. The screams from you and the girls flooded the room, and it was like the air in the building was being sucked out.

You would never forget it.

()()()()()()

You were asleep when suddenly you heard the door open again and your body began to shake. But it wasn’t the man who came in.

“Reid! I got her!” the sound of Morgan’s voice echoed in your ears. Spencer burst into the room, and while Morgan Prentiss, JJ, and Rossi tended to the other three girls, Reid and Hotch came straight to you.

“Y/N? Oh my god, Y/N, you’re going to be okay. We’re going to get you out of here.” Spencer panicked as he tugged at the chains, “Come on!”

“Y/N, do you know where the unsub went?” Hotch asked. You looked at him, you understood his words, but all you could manage to say was,

“Liquid cherry.”

“Y/N?”

“No, cherry E.” you were so distorted, either from the pain, or from the shock.

“Y/N I don’t understand.” Hotch said.

“Liquid cherry?” Reid repeated, “Y/N, do you mean Liquid E?” you nodded.

“Cherry meth.” Hotch confirmed. You don’t even know why you brought it up. It wasn’t important, and although that’s what the man used on you, it wasn’t even relevant at this point.

The rest was a blur. Being free had a different meaning to it for you then. But yet, you were brought into an interrogation room after the ambulance had deemed that you didn’t have any truly hospitalizing injuries, just horrible bruises along with scars that would probably never fade away. You looked down at the table.

Emily Prentiss and JJ sat on the other end of the table.

“Y/N, we know you’ve been through something traumatic, but that man is still out there. The other two girls aren’t conscious, and you’re the only one who knows what he looks like.” Prentiss explained, “You might not remember, but we if you’re able, we want to do a cognitive interview with you. It might help you remember details you didn’t know you picked up on.”

“I don’t want to be here alone.” you whispered. JJ sighed sadly for you, “I don’t want to do it unless it’s Spencer.”

“I know, Y/N, but your brother is personally involved now. He can’t work on this case.” she said. In your heart you knew why, and you understood completely. But your mind just didn’t follow, and you shook your head. You looked up, and the color of the room and placement of the mirror seemed to eerily familiar, and the scene switched.

There you were, back on that concrete floor, screaming out for Spencer. All you wanted was for your brother to come save you. You saw the man walking towards you. You screamed louder as he got closer.

You felt someones hands on your shoulders and the scene had changed again. You were breathing heavily, the interrogation chair was on its back, and you were in the corner of the room. Emily and JJ were crouched with concerning eyes in front of you.

“Y/N? It’s us.”

“I can’t do it.” you sobbed, “Not without him. I won’t.”

Emily and JJ looked at each other and nodded. Emily walked out of the room while JJ sat on the floor with you.

“You’re safe now.”

“He’s still out there he’s not going to stop.” you whispered, “I just want my brother. I just want Spencer.”

She held you tight.

“We won’t let anything happen to you. Spence won’t let anything happen to you.” she reassured.

It wasn’t long after that Spencer finally entered the room and signaled that it was okay for JJ to leave.

“Y/N,” his voice was soft, and you instantly felt safer in the presence of your brother, “are you sure you can do this?” you nodded in response. As much as it terrified you, you didn’t want that monster hurting any other girls. He was still out there somewhere. Spence helped you up and fixed your chair. You sat across from each other.

“Y/N, I need you to close your eyes.” he said. You did so, “Now think. What’s the weather like before you met the unsub? Was it cloudy, light, dark?”

“It was night. The sky was so clear.” you replied, imagining the time in your mind.

“You’re going out. Who are you with?” he asked.

“Alice and Elliot. Spencer, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have broken the rules.” you cried. Spencer hadn’t even considered the thought of you sneaking out until now, but had decided that it was a talk for another time, if he thought you’d ever be able to handle it.

“Don’t worry about it, Y/N. I’m just glad you’re safe.” he said. With your eyes closed, you couldn’t see the tears pricking your brother’s eyes. He’d seen many tragic things, done some of the most gruesome cognitive interviews, seen the most disgusting and vile actions done by the most heartless of monsters, but none of that beat this. His own sister. He’d watched the tapes that the man had recorded , and his heart sunk every time you screamed out his name, but his anger grew just as much, “Where did you guys go right before you met the unsub?”

“The club on 16th street.” you stated, seeing yourself and your friends right outside the doors, “Alice and Elliot convinced me to go in.”

“What are you doing in there?”

“Alice and Elliot went to dance. I don’t like dancing, so they stay near me while I sit at the bar?” you realized that you talked as if you were presently there.

“Who is around you? Anyone you recognize?” he asked.

“No, I’m alone with the bartender.”

“Is he talking to you?” Spencer questioned. It was then that you recognized something.

“What can I get you, YOUNG LADY?” the bartender’s voice echoed in your mind, and aligned with the man who asked if you were okay outside before you were taken. You realized that the size and stature of the man who had tortured you matched with the bartender. You gasped and opened your eyes quickly. You were visibly distraught, so Spencer grabbed your hand in a quick attempt to comfort you.

“Y/N, are you okay? If it’s too much we can-“

“The bartender, Spencer.” you huffed out, “He said something to me and spoke to me outside after I was drugged.”

“Do you know what he looks like? Or his name?” he asked. Your thoughts were so fragmented now that you couldn’t remember, and a few tears slipped down your face as shook your head, “Do you want to try to keep going? You don’t have to Y/N I don’t want to put you through this again.”

“No!” you yelled, “No, it’s okay. It’s important. I can do this as long as you’re here.” He smiled slightly at how much you trusted him, but it quickly faded.

“The bartender,” he started, “He’s talking with you, what’s he saying?”

“He asks me if I want a drink. Calls me ‘young lady.’” you replied, as you saw yourself seated at the bar. The man just looked like a blur to you, and you tried so hard to remember him.

“What’s around him?” Spencer asked.

“Well drinks, obviously. Alcohol.”

“What kind?”

“He’s got all kinds of fancy bottles. Jim Beam, Captain Morgan, Patron, Bacardi,” you paused, “The Smirnoff is the same color as his shirt. A red shirt as a bartender. He stands out in an odd way.”

“His shirt, is he wearing anything? A name tag?”

“He has a lanyard. It’s got pins on it and a picture with his-“ you see his name in big black letters on the end of the lanyard, “Andrew Vaughn. The drug is started to hit me now Spencer I-“

“Hey,” his voice was soft as he quickly got up and hugged you, “you’re safe now. I’ve got you.”

“I’m so sorry!” you sobbed into his shirt, grabbing onto him. He put his head on yours.

“It’s not you’re fault Y/N. You’ve been through something traumatic, you can’t be sorry for it.” he said.

“If I hadn’t gone out like you told me, Spence! And those other girls. The one in the party dress! I watched her die! He just stabbed her and she bled out in agony, Spencer!” you nearly yelled. You almost couldn’t breathe, and your face was wet with the tears.

Spencer’s heart dropped to the pit of his stomach. Reid knew some what of what you were going through. He reminded himself of what it was like when Tobias Hankel, and tried to think of how he wanted people to treat him then when he was freed, and how long it took for him to be okay again. He never really was, and he was afraid that you would never be able to feel safe again, but understood why you wouldn’t. He just wanted to take care of you, and blamed himself for not being there.

Within the next few hours, Hotch had refused to let a very angry Spencer go with the team to the unsub’s house. The BAU, although, successfully brought your kidnapper into custody.

“You don’t have to worry now, Y/N” Morgan said to you, “We’re gonna make sure he never sees the light of day again. He’ll live the rest of his life behind those bars.”

“Yeah.” was all you managed to say with the slightest smile as you walked through whatever precinct you were in.

“Y/N, Garcia told me to tell you that if you ever need anything, she’s here. I think the same goes for the rest of us.” Rossi explained.

“Thanks. I owe you all everything.” you said.

“Let’s get you home.” Spencer put his hand on your shoulder, careful not to touch any of your injuries, and the two of you walked out together.

You would never be the same after that, but at least you had your brother by your side.

454 notes · View notes

scandeniall · 4 years ago

Text

cause u were my baby

pairing: atsumu x (implied black)f!reader (ur Aran’s sister but if u wanna imagine youre adopted go ahead no physical descriptors)

summary/warnings: honestly just based off my boo by usher. ur life around atsumu over the years (from kids to adults)/implied nsfw at the end when ur adults, bad words, thats it./timeskip spolier

a/n: format might be weird because i was initially doing these as headcanons but kept going and it changed. also also started with a sakusa version based on this song so um tune in next whenever i finish it oop-

wc:4.4k

It started when we were younger, you were mine

You’re not exactly sure when you’d met Atsumu. It seemed like he was always around. From the first day Aran came home trailing two considerably shorter twins behind him you’d been intrigued.

“Aran you never told us ya had a sister!” When they found out your name and exclaimed how cool it was there was no way you could’ve predicted your future.

Eventually it became a tiny school girl crush, on one of them as kids (you couldn’t quite tell them apart for the longest). You’d be overly happy whenever Aran brought them around, and always asked to tag along with him, but only when he mentioned he’d be seeing the twins.

You’d watched over the years as your brother only grew closer to them and as a result so did you, sorta. In middle school you’d come back from hanging with your own friends to hear the twins bickering while your brother just continued in with his homework. Being in the same year, you’d occasionally be dragged into helping them out, or sharing answers when it was too hard and “they’d learn it later, but need the answers now.”

At some point during middle school you’d grown an official crush on Atsumu, opting to take his side more often than not within his competition with Osamu. Despite that, nothing ever came of it as kids.

The older you got, the more attractive they’d seem to get, but you never paid much attention. After all, once you reached the world of high school, your young crush practically disappeared. Instead you’d taken a liking to all the new people you were exposed to.

As they got more and more passionate about volleyball and you parted class ways you never really saw them, except for the occasional times they’d come to your house. Even then, the conversations were short. Growing more confident, and friendly you’d still jokingly take Atsumu’s side to which he’d parade around like he’d won the lottery. “At least someone thinks I’m right.”

Of course you’d heard about Atsumu’s lack of popularity among his teammates. You’d overheard Osamu telling him at lunch one day to be nicer, and you couldn’t help but laugh at the lack of care he showed for others thoughts on his personality. As long as he was doing his job as a setter all’s good.

“Don’t think you’d say that if they decided to throw you in a ditch one day,” you’d tease hovering over their lunch table. “Maybe you should be a little nicer,”

“If they suck, then they suck.”

For the rest of your first year your conversations took on similar natures. One of you’d overhear something then butt in for a few moments before returning to your regularly scheduled lives.

You’d watch as the two of them grew into their volleyball skills, alongside your brother cheering from the sidelines as much as you could. Come your 2nd year Their notoriety and your connection to them caused a spike in your popularity. It was something that came to the irritation of your brother.

“Another date?” Your brother eyed the way you searched for the perfect pair of shoes while you waved him off.

You’d heard about the twins biggest fight. Osamu admitted that he’d be quitting volleyball after high school. Heard about the way Atsumu reacted, seen the way they stopped sitting together at lunch

“Shouldn’t ya be with yer friends,” the blonde twin mumbles, continuing to stab at the rice he’d brought for lunch. Or that Osamu packed, which is precisely why he couldn’t eat it. You slid into the empty seat in front of him, not even phased.

“Atsumu you need to make up with your Osamu. You two are driving Aran mad. And more importantly you need each other.” Your hand stops his that were previously stabbing at the food, by knocking the chopsticks out. With a sigh, you move the bento he’d been messing over and replace it with your own lunch. “Since you’re on your whole anti Samu stance, figured I’d get you some non Samu food. I’ll be eating this by the way.” You were intentional in keeping your voice light not wanting to further upset the firecracker. “I’m waiting on my thank you.”

“For what. Tryna get me to talk to the traitor-“

“Atsumu. He's your brother. Grow up. I’m just trying to help out my friends-“

“Yer just Aran’s sister who has a stupid crush on Samu. That’s why yer taking his side,” at that your eyes widen and the annoyance starts to set. Before you could refute he cuts you off. “We’re not friends. Never have been and never will be. Go hang out with Samu if you’re that desperate”

Silence settled upon the two of you before you swallowed the lump that had started to form.

“You’re right. We’re not friends and I’m just Aran’s stupid little sis how could i forget,” your tone is mocking as you gather up your own food. “You clearly have some issues to work through with Osamu and you’re upset but I’m not gonna be your verbal punching bag. Keep the lunch,” you sigh before standing. “I’ll see you around, maybe.” Atsumu couldn’t pinpoint it then but there sense of finality in your voice might’ve aided in the further irritation he carried through the rest of the day.

You’re not even sure when the twins got back on good terms. One day they’d started hanging back out at your place with Aran however you made it a point to never be around. It wasn’t until your brother’s graduation months later that Atsumu caught you for more than a few fleeting seconds.

“He’s really graduated huh-“ you were sitting in the empty gym after the ceremony. Everyone else had gone outside before you ditched your family with the promise of catching up and being back for Aran’s celebratory dinner. However Atsumu had watched you slip back in and curiosity killed the fox.

“Hey Tsumu,” you hummed, eyes glued on the chairs covering the floor. You only glanced at him once you felt the bleachers creak and did as he settled next to you.

“Why’re ya in here (Y/N)”

“Just thinking. I’m gonna miss him-“

“Arans really leaving us for the big guys huh- they grow up so fast.” The lightness in Atsumu’s voice has you smiling before shaking your head before focusing back on the gym floor.

“Not Aran. Well- yeah I’m gonna miss him too but I’m talking about my boyfriend. Well ex who kinda broke up with me yesterday. Something about going off to Uni and needing something new. Seeing him here too was weird.”

Atsumu just nods. He’d heard that you’d started dating some 3rd year shortly after your disagreement. According to Aran and even Osamu the guy wasn’t necessarily a bad guy but wasn’t really a good one either. “(Y/N) could do better but if she’s happy,” he’d listen to Aran complain before, a rarity from a guy who tried seeing the good in people. And it was true, you were happy. Extremely so.

“Sorry about that,” you just give him another nod before he sighs. “M’sorry about blowing up at ya a while back too. Saying that we weren’t friends,”

“Is Miya Atsumu apologizing for someone.” Your fake shock is accompanied by you turning your body to face his. “Do I need to get this on camera for proof. Where’s Rin.” The way you pull out your phone pretending to film has him laughing before jokingly telling you to shut it.

“You worked things out with Samu?”

Atsumu only shrugs. “I’m still pissed but we still have 1 more year. And I gotta focus on being happier and more successful.”

“Do I even wanna know?”

Instead of responding Atsumu just stands before offering you a hand. “Ya going to the party?” He was referring to the one the parents had planned to celebrate the graduates. It was at your house but you weren’t sure if you were gonna actually show or just hang with a friend for a few hours. You still hadn’t taken his hand up and he looked at it expectedly.

“Hadn’t decided. Kinda sad ya know,” you joke before taking it.

“All the more reason. Forget about that loser. Besides if Aran finds out I knew ya were sad and did nothin’ he’d kick my ass.” You thought for a moment before caving, not even noticing had neither of you had let go.

That was the start of it all for you two. Following the party you’d rekindled your friendship with the twin and as break started the two of you grew closer. There’d been many nights when you two would sneak out and go on late night adventures. Convenience store runs. Scooter rides or even to parks to help him practice. You’d even started hanging around when they had official team practices to where he’d started walking you home.

Your first kiss happened on one of those walks. Your arms had brushed several times as he complained about poor spikes or missed serves and how they weren’t gonna be Karasuno with that performance.

“They’re stressing you out just how you stressed Kita out captain”

“And yer brother,” you nod as your hands brushed again. “How’s he doin anyways,”

“Pretty good. Just practicing a lot and stuff. He’s always tired when we talk.” Another brush. You start tuning Atsumu out as you debate on making a move. The two of you had gotten considerably closer to the point where people had teased calling him your boyfriend. However you could’ve been imagining it and the chemistry. Maybe he just saw you as a sister much like Osamu but picked up on your feelings and didn’t wanna hurt them and ruin things.

“Hey Atsumu,” the way you stopped had him confused. However before he could question it you started. “Do you like me? Like-like me?”

He thought for a moment before answering just with a shrug. “Well yeah. Course Aran would kill me for some of my thoughts but—yeah.” You weren’t even sure why you were so surprised with the ease of how he admitted it. He always said what he meant and all you could do was nod before managing to could out something that sounded like “good”

“Good. That’s all ya gotta say? C’mon (Y/N) give me something. Do ya like me?” With a nod from you he finds himself surprisingly flustered before doing the same as you. Only this time he’d moved closer head lowering. “Well that’s good”

The two of you started dating shortly after and into your last year. It wasn’t something that went unnoticed either. The way he’d lean against your locker trying to be cool, definitely falling more than once. The few people that had been privy to your quick makeout sessions when you’d meet up in empty hallways while you were supposed to be using the restroom. The way you’d started eating lunch together more often and if people played enough attention they’d noticed that you often shared drinks because “things taste better when they aren’t yours.” Then the most obvious, how you’d hang around early at games and stayed after and how he was so excited to beat Karasuno at nationals that he’d actually made out with you in public. (Aran had nearly murdered him upon finding out about that)

After graduation you two had gone off to different places and it was a struggle. There were arguments about not making time for one another. Between your academics and his pursuit at going pro, it was a struggle. But things were always made worth it. The time you’d created and sent him a care package and he texted you back a selfie with the basket with tears in his eyes. Or how you made the 3 hour train ride down for important matches or during your school breaks because he’d sounded super down about not being able to nail a new serve.

There were times where he’d stay on video call with you long after he should’ve been in bed because you were stressed about finals and up still studying. Then the time he surprised you by coming down for a milestone birthday. He’d showed up at your apartment at some odd hour completely exhausted and ready to fall over the second you opened the door.

“Atsumu?”

“Surprise baby,” he slurred using the last bit of his energy to hug you tightly. “Happy birthday”

“Tsumu what are you doing here,” you’d pull away however he attached himself back to you arms locked around your middle and face buried in the side of your neck.

“Talk later, sleep now.” You find yourself nodding before prying his hands off your and intertwining them with yours.

“Let’s get you some sleep Tsumu”

There were the late night drives as young adults listening to old school music and singing your hearts out just having fun. It was during the holidays and you two had both gone back home to be with your families.

“Hey babe technically this is us.” Atsumu is the one to turn the radio down as a familiar song starts. “And you were my babyyyyy,” His screeching fills the car causing you to laugh and swat the hand that had been casually resting on your thigh off. “It started when we were younger-”

“Atsumu shut up and pay attention to the road.” You smile as his hand immediately finds its way back on you. “But you are my boo.”

The night the Jackals beat the Adlers you were sure Atsumu would want to go out and party and you were more than fine with it. However while waiting for him to finish up you’d gotten word of his celebratory plans from a post game interview. “Just gna hang at home. Watch a few movies, eat a cheat meal, ya know.”

It’s about an hour later before Atsumu meets up with you at the stadium's entrance. You notice how his hair hadn’t fully dried as he shifts his duffel bag to the other arm to grab your hand on your preferred hand holding side as the two of you make your way across the parking lot. “Are you sure you don’t wanna go out with the guys?”

The squeeze of his hand confirms his decision. “I’ll see em’ tomorrow. We haven’t spent much time together these days. As the two of you approach the car you let go before asking him if he wanted you to drive. After he confirmed he was good to you slipped into the passenger seat listening as he tossed his bag in the back before sliding into the driver's seat. “Besides,” his hand makes its way towards your cheek, guiding your face to his. “I can think of a much better way to celebrate.”

“Is that so?” Your tease is quiet as you inch closer lips only a hair away. He’s the one who closes the space and you immediately reciprocate. Your lips immediately move against his mumbling a “congratulations” against his lips. You indulge it for a moment before pulling away to press kisses up his neck until you reach his ear before whispering something.

“Are ya serious?” At your nod he lets out a groan that you can’t help but laugh at him. “Yer gonna be the death of me one day”

“Love you too.”

The day he found out he’d made the Olympic team had been cause for celebration for more than one reason. The two of you had been getting ready for a regular day of running errands when he got the call. After hanging up he yelled for you so loud it could have gotten a noise complaint from neighbors.

“Atsumu why are you yelling. Im in the bathroom not fucking Antarctica.”

“I’m on the Olympic team baby.”

Following that you decided to turn the day into an Atsumu day something that made his heart swell. From the way you kept telling him how proud of him you were to watching his favorite movie even though you hated it. Once you insisted on making his favorite for dinner he knew it was time. In return he convinced you to get dressed in something other than sweats to eat dinner on your couch. “I just think we should take some pictures so I can show off my biggest supporter,” is what he told you with a shrug when you questioned it.

You also shouldve known something was up when he insisted that he had desert covered, because the man couldn’t bake for shit. “It's a delivery, cmon have some faith in me.”

“I do baby. In everything except for baking.”

You’d just finished eating dinner and the two of you were cuddled on the couch watching another movie, one of your boyfriend’s choices. You’d shifted uncomfortably for the fifth time before looking at Atsumu. “Can I change yet, these jeans aren’t comfortable anymore.” You were caught off guard when he moved so that he pulled you so that you were straddling him.

“Better?”

“Not at all,” you rolled your eyes while he just laughed, fingers squeezing at your hips.

“Just wait til desert, yer brother’s on his way with it now.” He placed a quick kiss on the skin of your collarbone before pointing at his phone for you to hand to him. “Did he tell ya he's on the olympic team too?”

“He's my brother. I was gonna treat him to dinner tomorrow. You tell Samu yet?”

“Not yet. Was gonna do it after Aran left.” You don’t miss the way Atsumu tries to hide the messages on his phone, his brightness all the way down, something he usually hates. Before you can question anything he's pulling you so that your lips meet his. “Stop looking so concerned,” he whispers against your lips.

“Yer so fuckin pretty baby,” the way his fingers tighten against your sides and the way his tongue slips into your mouth has the quietest moan coming out of your mouth. You pout as he pulls away settling for kisses along your neck instead. “You’ve been so good to me today. Can’t wait to get to bed with you.”

Before anything could go any further a knock on the door interrupts. “It's probably Ojiro,” you whine, mildly annoyed at your brother for interrupting you from where things were headed. “Tsumu let go,” you frown at the failed attempt of getting off him. You've met with a quick kiss before his palm comes firm against your ass, a yelp escaping. With that he lets you go laughing at the scowl you shoot him as he goes to get the door.

You don’t even bother to look at the two yet you can hear Aran’s scold that the two of you were disgusting.

“How’d ya know we were even doin anything”

“Your lips are swollen.” After that the two of them get into a whispered conversation that you can’t pick up on no matter how hard you try to listen. Before you know it your brother crosses through the apartment to place a box in the kitchen before joining you in the living room. “Congrats big bro,” you stand hugging him slightly before plopping down on the couch. He gives a smile of thanks before changing the subject.

“Miya here isn’t corrupting you too much right.” You both ignore Atsumu’s exclaim that he isn’t the one corrupting anyone has you hear him shuffle around in the kitchen.

When he gets back he brings the box, some plates and a few utensils. “What is it?” He nearly trips trying to set it all down before you get up to help him. After helping him you notice that he doesn’t sit back on the couch and looks off. “Tsumu are you ok?” You give your brother a concerned look but he just shrugs.

“(Y/N). could ya,” he nervously motions for you to stand back up and you comply confused. Grabbing his hand you watch him carefully, silently trying to check in on him. When he doesn’t answer you lean up to place a quick kiss on his lips. A silent “I love you,’ something that seems to calm him down. “I I love you too”

“You wanna sit down now?”

“Yeah just let me get this off my chest first?” Your nod is his signal to continue. “I don't remember when I met ya. At all. All I know is that there was this super cool guy with a super cool name and me and Samu kinda just followed him around. Then we found out he had a little sister.” You were used to some of Atsumu’s mindless babbling but the reason for bringing that up right then and in front of Aran was still going over your head.

“Somewhere along the way I fell in love with ya. I can tell ya that the first day I realized my crush was after Aran’s graduation. You were sittin in the gym and we just talked. You were sad about some loser and I didnt like that. Course I couldn't say anythin cause we weren’t even really friends then.” That pause is when what might be happening hits you and you freeze. It’s something Atsumu notices right away, eyes looking at you with concern. “Ya alright?”

The only thing you could do was nod offering a slight squeeze of his hand prompting him to continue. “Alright—where was I —ok. Then we got together and I knew it was love. Ya made me feel like I was I’m top of the world even when I was a jackass.”

“I almost thought we wouldn’t make it when ya when off to university. It was hard but we made it. we used to argue so much about stupid shit back then too. You were there before anyone knew who I was as a kid and have stayed with me all the way to being an Olympic athlete.”

At this point you watch as he begins to kneel and you’re hit with the fact that he’s really about to do it. You’re nodding before he even asks which causes him to laugh. “Let me finish alright.”

“I’m so in love with everything about you and after the announcement I realized we weren’t gettin any younger. You’ve been my boo since we were 17 and here we are almost a decade later. You’re still my boo and I want it forever. So (Y/N) will you marry me?”

You’re not even sure real words came out before you’ve tackled him to the ground in a hug immediately pressing kisses all over his face. Your eyes are teary as his hand rubs comforting circles on your back. The two of you are there for a few moments before Aran finally clears his throat.

“I can't believe my little sister is engaged. And to Atsumu no less.congratulations you two.” He shoots you both a warm smile as he watches the two of you. After getting up your arms fling immediately around Aran.

“Did you know about this,” the tears finally begin to fall as he just laughs confirming. “I can't believe you let him ambush me like this.” You feel your brother's arms embrace you at the mixture of laughing and crying.

“Hey, I knew he was proposing soon, not the day. He just called me up earlier claiming today was the day. Now stop crying and look at the cake.” Confusion crosses your face until you’re turned around to see Atsumu holding a cake that reads: marry me? (pls) the ring placed right under the words.

After you'd calmed down the three of you just sat in the living room catching up when you realized something. “Atsumu, you were so corny with the song reference.” Looking at Aran the two of you immediately burst into laughter. “I can't believe you referred to me as your boo. Out loud and in all seriousness”

“I got it on camera too. Got him in 4K” Aran shakes his head.

“I can't believe this. I propose and yet still clowning me. I miss when ya were all emotional,” your fiancé huffs. Despite that he doesn’t move at all from sitting so close that your legs touched. His eyes kept shooting at the ring on your finger and the desire to get you alone grew by the minute. At some point his hand slipped from the back of the couch to your thigh offering a squeeze.

It was then that Aran cleared his throat. “That’s my cue to head on out. I’ll see you tomorrow sis. Congrats again you two. Don’t—I’m not ready to be an uncle yet, s’all I gotta say.”

“After the Olympics work better for ya teammate?”

“How about never Miya”

The two of you bid your brother one last goodbye after the warning and before the door is even fully closed your fiancé is pulling you back into his lap. Your heart swells at the way Atsumu’s eyes look at you with so much love and your voice comes out way quieter than you intended. “Still can’t believe you quoted Usher”

Atsumu groans at that The hand that had been plaing with your, ghosting over the ring comes to a stop. . “I’m never showing anyone else that video.”

“It’ll be our little secret.”

“You're lying”

The smirk on your face tells him all he needs to know and all he can do is shake his head. “If yer gonna tell my deepest secret I’m gonna need you to make it up to me.” His hand slip around your waist, fingers skimming the space where your shirt had ridden up. you return the touch by trailing your hands until palms are placed again his chest.

“I think we can arrange something. Isn’t that right pretty?” The touch and hushed words were enough to cause heat to flare across your skin.

“What’d you’d have in mind?”

“A few things,” Atsumu leans close, placing kisses everywhere except your lips. First your close one. Then along your jaw. Right on the corner of your lips. “Think we’ve got some celebrating to do, fiancé.”

Atsumu forgot to tell Osamu that night and was ambushed the following morning after watching his private story in which Atsumu made you flash your hand to the camera with an obnoxious number of zooms with the caption: made the Olympic team and got my forever boo 🤪

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #atsumu x reader #atsumu imagines #hq imagines #hq imagine #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu imagines #atsumu imagine

86 notes · View notes

winghero-writing · 5 years ago

Note

hey I just found your blog and.. WHY DIDN'T I SEE U B4 UR SO GREAT I LOVE U FOR THE 30 MIN I READ THRU EVERYTHING!!! and I was wondering since u did a Keigo x Todoroki!reader and the reader told the smaller fam about her bf I want to know how Endeavor reacts :p U don't have to do it but I'm a fucking cat and curiosity finna kill me.

Hey! In sorry in taking too long to answer the asks but in going to get them out, I promise! Also, thank you so much for the support! I hope I did justice to what you wanted!

It had been a few weeks since Y/N introduced Keigo to her siblings. She was happy with the outcome and so was Hawks. But right now, is when the real challenge starts.

She knew that her siblings would like Hawks, and even if they didn't like him that much she could use her privilege as an older sibling and get them to stay out of her love life. It was really reliving when they told her they were happy for her.

Now, her dad was something unpredictable, she can't even imagine the way he would react.

Now, her days consist of her head full of scenarios of how to break the news to her dad and how he would react.

She knows he is changing for the better. He took to heart the advice she told him and began to show interest in his children without giving up, even when Natsuo pushed him away or Shoto ignored him.

She was pulling a lot of scenarios in her head at the moment that she didn't hear the door from the apartment. She gave Hawks a spare key since she always got scared when he used the window to get in.

"Dove?" Hawks made his way from the front door to the kitchen where he found his girlfriend lost in thought.

"What are you thinking about, little birdie." He moved a chair and took a seat, he saw her jump a little, getting out of thought. He laughed a little at her reaction.

"Keigo! I didn't hear you. I'm so sorry!" She stood from her chair a little and give him a kiss. It didn't last too long but he was satisfied with it.

"So, what do you have in your head that you forgot about me?" He rested his chin on his hand, giving her his full attention.

Y/N played with her fingers a little in deep thoughts before answering him.

"It's just..." She let out a long sigh. "I already introduce you to my siblings and my mother. I have to introduce you to my father too." She looked at him and found a smug expression in his face. She knew that he would think that all this would be easy but it wouldn't be.

"Not as the Winged Hero, Hawks. As Takami Keigo, his daughter's boyfriend." She put extra emphasis on the word 'daughter'.

She would have laughed at how his expression changed and his face showed realization about how he would have to meet Enji Todoroki, not Endeavor, but the topic at hand didn't a low her to laugh.

"I..." His whole body position change after her statement, now sitting upright and tense in the kitchen chair.

"I didn't think about it in that way..."

She smiled a little, if he got this worked up about meeting her family at least it showed that he was serious.

"We'll find a way for him not to blow up." She rested her hand on top of his own, offering comfort to her now troubled boyfriend.

A few days later, the two of them agree that Y/N would call her siblings and father to have a family dinner where she would take her boyfriend. She told her siblings that Hawks would go but hid that information to her father.

Again, her head was pulling all kinds of scenarios of the possible outcome of this dinner. Sensing her distress, Hawks took her face in his hands and looked straight in her eyes

"Hey, it's not like I'll die, you know!" He laughed, trying to make the tension lighter.

She smiled at his attempts to relaxed her. She knew that he was a lot more nervous than he showed.

The two were wearing casual clothes since it wasn't anything formal. Just dinner.

They arrived a little early for Y/N to help her younger sister for dinner. Hawks helped too, Natsuo and Shoto arrived not long after the couple. The only one missing was Enji.

He had sent a message to Y/N telling her that he was on his way, also apologizing for being a little late.

"Okay, dad is on his way." Y/N save her phone in her pocket and turned to look at her two little brothers.

"Please, don't cause a fight." She took their hands, Natsuo and Shoto saw their sister pleading eyes, it made them realize how important this was for her (and Hawks) so they agree.

Smiling at the two and giving them a kiss on the cheek, she turned to Hawks next. He smiled at her.

'Looks like he is not that nervous anymore, huh.' She returned the smiled.

"Euh, get a room you two." Natsuo made a gagging noise and turned around not wanting to see the lovey-dovey interaction that the couple had. Shoto just stared at them, not finding the problem.

Hawks laugh out loud and put his arm around Y/N.

"Well, maybe after this, we will go to the room?" He asked seductively. Y/N hit his chest and got out of his one arm hug.

"Pervert." She went to talk to Shoto about the girl she helped him with but not before sending a smile at her boyfriend.

"Y/N-nee! Dad is here!" She heard Fuyumi from the door. Y/N stood up immediately and looked at Hawks.

He made his way to the door before she could stop him.

"Yo! Endeavor, how have you been?" Hawks greet the man in a simple way. He tried to make this lighter.

"What are you doing in my house bit brain?" Endeavor didn't expect to see the Number Two in his house. His mood was starting to get down (in an angry way!) seeing the blond hero in his house.

"Dad! How have you been!" Y/N stood in front of Hawks, trying to shield him. Enji's face softened a bit at seeing his older daughter greeting him but he tried not to show it. Still, Hawks notice this change in his expression.

"Good. Now, could someone tell me why is Hawks here?" He looked at everyone in the room. Natsuo and Shoto were just watching from the sidelines but their faces showed amusement at the situation. Fuyumi just watched and couldn't help but feel a little bad about her older sister.

"You see dad, I broug..."

"I didn't come here as Hawks, Endeavor." Hawks interrupted Y/N and put his arm around her waist.

"I came here as Keigo, Y/N's boyfriend."

The house was silent for a long while. The tension could be cut with a knife. Nobody dared to move either.

Endeavor glared at Hawks while the blond was smiling at him (smirking would be more accurate).

Y/N let out a sigh, at least the news was out. She got out of Hawks hold and stood in front of her dad. She smiled at him.

"We have been together for a few months now. He is a good guy. I hope you accept him soon."

And so, she went to the table to start serving the plates, her sibling followed her to help in anything they could (also, to get out of the tension between the two heroes).

"So, I have your blessing...?" Hawks was the first one to talk, he wasn't as nervous as before but seeing how Endeavor was glaring at him would scare anyone.

"You're dead bird brain." He took Hawks from his shirt and put him at his same eye level. The blond male just gave him his carefree smile.

"Wow, wow, calm down Endeavor! I really love her you know!" He looked at him in the eyes. "And I really hope that you don't mind me being with her. I promise to protect her from anything."

"She can protect herself, she is strong." Endeavor let out in a gruff tone.

Hawks laugh at this. "Yeah, I know!"

Endeavor let go of Hawks, letting him fall from his hands. The blond male was unaffected by it and started to fix his clothes.

"I can't control her." Endeavor let out after a while. "I don't have the right, but if you hurt her you're dead." And so, Endeavor made his way to were his children where waiting.

Hawks was left there stunned. That was a blessing, right? Did he approve?

He followed the same path and took a seat beside Y/N who just looked at him with a smile. She had heard them talking and for her, it was a win. At least her dad didn't kill him.

The dinner was then filled with Fuyumi attempts to make her brothers talk without success. Y/N laughed at it, thanking her brothers for staying quiet, she knew that if they talk they would start to throw insults at their father.

At the end of the night, it was a successful mission for the couple. Even when Endeavor threatened Hawks that he would beat him up the next time. Y/N just laugh and enjoy her time in family.

- Bonus -

Hawks was patrolling. He hates patrolling at night since he enjoys sleeping in Y/N's bed, cuddling her. It was a fairly peaceful night but he didn't fail to see the blue fire from an alley not too far where he was.

He made his way to the alley and was met face to face with the infamous villain, Dabi.

"Fancy seeing you here, Number two." The villain said to him. "I'm not here to fight." Dabi put his arms up in form of surrender. "More especially, I came here to talk to you."

"What do you want Dabi." Hawks was getting pissed, he didn't want to deal with this now and fighting at this time it's a pain in the ass for him.

"I know that you associate me with the League..." Dabi hid his hands in his pockets and began walking away from him. "But you know... This is more on a personal note..." He turned a little to watch him in the eyes before going away. "You hurt her and you are dead." Dabi glared at him. It was the first time that Hawks feel scared of a villain. What did he mean by her? Before he could ask, Dabi was already out of sign.

376 notes · View notes

cherrybracelets · 4 years ago

Text

Politics & Violence (one)

masterlist | requests

summary: Your father is one of the most progressive presidents in history, and many praise you and your family for all the good you’ve done for the country. But there is a select group of radicals who plans to take the entire administration down, and the threat to you and your family is growing every day. Your father takes matters into his own hands when he hires individual body guards for each member of your family.

pairing: bodyguard!a. hotchner x presidents daughter!reader

words; 11.5k warnings: this fic will be 18+!!! lots of heavy stuff, drugs, alc, depression, sex, guns, violence, death

song inspo: politics and violence by dominic fike

an: hey this is my first hotch piece and I’m super nervous so please let me know what u think!! i will be making a full playlist for this fic and a moodboard so keep ur eyes peeled; this is also obviously non canon and the backstory hotch has here is completely made up by me also this is gone be two parts ok bye

Being the daughter of the president was hard enough, it doesn’t make it any easier that you’re fucking your bodyguard. You wouldn’t trade Hotch for the world, but it was exhausting keeping up with this life sometimes. You never thought of yourself as someone who would get entangled up into a secret like this. You felt it weighing on you all the time. Every secret glance between you two in the hall, every ‘accidental’ touch at an event, the secret kissing in the closets with the door locked and the lights off. It was a thrill, but also added unneeded strain to your life.

Hotch saw the effects he had on you, too. Both negative and positive. He knew that the love you two shared, the passion between you, would be unmatched with any other person. But he also knew how hard it was to keep that love a secret, to not hold hands in public, to lie to all of your friends and family. Most importantly, to lie to your dad. Loving him, being with him, it was a sacrifice.

Your dad had spent the past 23 years of his life doing everything he could to protect you. He hated that he brought you into this life; he hated this life himself. All he wanted was to help people, and he thought the best way would be politics. But he didn’t know that with his more modern takes, many people would hate him. And it got so bad that last year you started receiving death threats. A group of radicals had recently started sending individual letters to your whole family, making it clear how much they hated you and what your family stood for.

It was terrifying. And you were tired of it. You had been dealing with it your whole life, as he had been an important politician for a long time before winning the presidency. The cameras following you everywhere you went, never having real relationships with anybody because people just wanted the clout that came with knowing you. You were miserable, and were only finding happiness in the darkest of places, ironically. Partying, alcohol and drugs had taken over most of your nights, with a group of people who you wouldn’t really call your friends, but people who had allowed you to be miserable with them.

You had never really had friends, besides your siblings. People always wanted to be your friend, but almost never for genuine reason. And when someone was being genuine, which was rare, you had a hard time trusting and ultimately hurt the person to avoid being hurt yourself. It was a terrible cycle that you’d been dealing with for... a long time. Twenty three years to be exact, because the night of your twenty third birthday was when it all changed.

Your dad had called everyone to the house for a family dinner. At the time, you were living in some tiny studio across town, and your brother was shacking up with some girl he knew from college. It was pretty rare to get all of you together in one place, but for you and your brother, Matt’s birthday, it was extra important that everyone was there.

Your father always blocked out his schedule for birthdays, they were a big deal to him. And although you were dreading having to put on your happy face for an evening of passive aggressive comments and awkward small talk, you did it for him. He was the only member of your family who deserved even a second of your time.

So that night, you drove to your parents house, reminding yourself that it’s only a few hours and everything will be fine. There won’t be any issues, you and Matt won’t fight, the two younger siblings won’t fight, mom and dad won’t fight. No one will fight, you promised yourself. You’ll hold it together. You practiced your smile as you pulled in the driveway, hoping to not be too disingenuous when you saw everyone.

None of them were especially bad people, they just all had a lot of problems, and were especially bad at dealing with them. But, so were you. Comes with the territory of being a high profile political family, apparently. You already saw Matt’s car there as well, which made you nervous. Matt and your mother being alone together for very long without you to interject was never good. It could already be a disaster as soon as you walk in.

You got out of your car and walked slowly to the entrance, your head down. You didn’t like making eye contact with the secret service, they always made you incredibly nervous. They stood so still, but their eyes always followed you like a haunted painting. Someone opened the door for you, and you stepped through the entrance to an empty hall. You assumed they were in the dining room already, waiting for you.

As you walked there, you noticed an unusual silence of guards and other employees. Most people at least said hi to you as you walked by, but there was nothing tonight. Every face you passed was buried in paperwork or their phones, looking worried. When you finally arrived to the dining room, you walked into an unusual silence. There were quite a few guards that you hadn’t recognized, one specific one watching you intently as you greeted your family and sat in between your dad and Matt.

“Thank you for finally gracing us with your presence, princess,” Matt grumbled, raising his eyebrows in discontent as he shifted in his chair.

“I’m like, five minutes late dude, can you relax?” You protested, crossing your arms in frustration and avoiding looking at him.

“Guys, please don’t do this, not tonight for God’s sake,” your father interjected, his teeth tightly clenched together as he stared daggers at the two of you. His forehead was sweating, and his nails were bitten down to the point of bleeding. It had been almost two weeks since you’d last seen him, but he was not like this before. Something was happening, and you felt your stomach turn as you looked around the rest of the table and realized you were the only one out of the loop.

“What is happening with everyone right now?” You looked at your dad first, hoping he would step in and explain the obvious elephant in the room.

“Someone is trying to kill us all,” your little brother, Charlie, blurted out. He was young, only ten, and clearly didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

“Jesus, Charlie, way to freak her out,” your sister yelped, pushing him slightly.

“Charlie, Dani, both of you shut up!” Your mom yelled, slamming her fists down on the table loudly and making you all jump.

“Everyone, relax, okay,” your dad instructed calmly. It used to be you, mediating every fight and solving every issue. But you couldn’t do it anymore, and your dad knew. He needed to step up and fix the shattered remnants of your family. Unfortunately, that was a harder job than being the president.

“There have been some… issues, with this radical group based in Virginia. I get threats all the time, but, they are threatening each of you now. And I’m not going to put up with that. So, there’s going to be some changes around here.”

“Yeah, go ahead and tell her about how we have to move back home,” Matt objected.

“What?”

“It’s only temporary, (Y/N). We are doing everything we can to catch the guys who are doing this. But for now it is safest for all of you to be home.”

“I have a life, Dad. I can’t give up everything because you did some things that pissed people off.”

“Don’t be so selfish, (Y/N), this is about all of us, not just you.” Your mom took a long sip of her wine and sat back in her chair, preparing for the yelling that was about to ensue.

“You all each have a personal bodyguard as well, with high levels of combat training. They will be with you all day, everywhere you go. At night there will be a rotated shift of guards outside your doors.”

“Oh, wonderful.”

“Aaron, why don’t you come meet my lovely daughter,” your father muttered, motioning to one of the men standing behind him. As you suspected, the man who had not taken his eyes off of you since you arrived took a few steps forward, nodding respectively at you.

“At least yours is hot,” your brother whispered to you, rolling his eyes.

“My name is Aaron Hotchner, and I will do everything I can to keep you safe.” He stuck his hand out to you, and you grabbed it reluctantly, shaking his hand lightly. His touch was gentle, but his hands were strong and large compared to yours. He definitely looked the part.

“What about my trip next week?” You questioned, turning away from Hotch and back to your dad. “I’m supposed to go do that college campus tour in California. I leave in two weeks.”

“We all think you should still take that trip, it’s only a few weeks and Aaron will be with you the entire time. I don’t think the jet is a good idea, though. We’re going to have you fly commercial.”

“First class, I hope?” Your brother and mom both collectively rolled their eyes, and you just ignored them and continued to stare at your dad, awaiting his answers.

“Of course, darling.” He smiled politely, hoping to end the conversation here and get on with dinner. You decided it wasn’t worth pressing it, seeing how clearly your dad was falling apart, you didn’t want to add anymore stress to him.

The rest of the dinner was uneventful, for a change. You all made small talk, caught up on work and school- pretty boring stuff. The whole time, you felt his eyes on you. When you looked at him, he dragged his eyes away slowly, as if pretending he wasn’t watching your every move. You weren’t sure why he kept looking away when you noticed him- it was his job to watch you. It was almost as if the thought of your eyes meeting scared him.

The most exciting part about a dinner with your family was when you could finally leave and go home- but tonight, unfortunately, you did not have that luxury. Your bedroom here was already prepared, and you always had a few spare pairs of clothes here. You knew there was no way you could convince any of them to let you go home.

And you definitely could not go out with your friends. But they were blowing up your phone, talking about their plans to go out to some new club with some amazing new party drug. You looked around the room nervously, trying to plan an escape somehow. There had to be a way, you basically had a PhD in sneaking out.

“Well, it’s getting late, I think it’s time for us to get Mr. Charles to bed!” Your dad teased, making funny faces at your brother, who just laughed in return. It was nice seeing him so full of joy, still loving life. He hadn’t hit the rough years, yet. You missed that feeling, the feeling of not knowing that every day, no matter what, would be miserable.

“Yeah, I’m gonna head out. Breakfast tomorrow, Dani?”

“Really,” she sat up, tilting her head in confusion. She was 16, now, and was more miserable than the rest of you. Being sixteen and living this life is utterly exhausting. She looked up to you highly, and you always paid her extra attention. You didn’t want her to end up like you.

“Of course.” You kissed her on the head and hugged your dad, not bothering to say goodbye to anyone else. You walked through the doors quickly, a reluctant Aaron Hotchner following close behind.

“I thought you left me alone at night.”

“Once you’re safe and I’ve secured you in your room, I can pass my duties to another guard. I don’t see you safe in your room.”

“Okay, dude, I got it,” you rolled your eyes, watching him get closer to you with every step. He was right beside you, now, your arms both at your sides, your hands accidentally bumping together as you walked. The moment his flesh touched yours, you felt your whole body fill with heat, your throat feeling tight as the forbidden flesh touched yours. That was the first time you knew you wanted him, the first time you felt like you could lose yourself in him. He smelled of strong coffee and vanilla, pulling you in like a flower shop in a Spring day.

You stayed silent the rest of the walk, coming up to your bedroom door. “Honey is secure, send in the first shift.”

“Honey?”

“Code name.” He responded sternly.

“What does it mean?”

“I don’t… I don’t know. I just picked it when I saw your picture.” He seemed caught off guard, as if nobody had asked him that question before. You were pretty sure nobody had a codename like Honey.

You saw the other guard approaching, and Aaron seemed to relax a little as he saw the man. This man was a lot younger, and you didn’t feel nearly as protected with him. Which was probably why he was the night guard, and perfect for your plan. Aaron and the other man spoke secretly for a moment, before he turned and walked away without saying goodnight. You felt a little hurt, but also knew that it was his job to protect you, not to get close with you.

You went into your room and closed the door behind you, praying to God you had something cute to wear somewhere here. You searched around the closet, pulling garments off of hangers in frustration. Luckily you found an old dress that somehow still fit. You wiggled your way into it and fixed your hair a bit, hoping the low light of the club would cover for your bare face. You threw a robe on top of everything and shoved your heels into each pocket. You realized it was still pretty early, and decided to work on your presentation for your college tours.

You were pretty proud of your program actually. You had created a program for colleges to help get students to care more about politics, helping them to register to vote, understand laws and policies, amongst a million other things. It ended up being very successful, and your dad even credited you for helping him to win the presidency. Most of your life felt like you were stuck inside the darkest cloud to ever exist- but when you were working on this, doing your presentations for people just like you… it gave you something to live for. It was one of the few reasons you had to keep going, in all honesty.

And by the time you looked up at the clock, it was already almost 11, and your friends were on their way to the secret exit to pick you up. Yeah, there were plenty of hidden exit spots around the building that weren’t patrolled. You and Matt pretty much discovered that the first day you moved in here. You let your friends know that you’d be out soon, and you got yourself ready to go. You quietly opened the door to see the guard standing silently, turning towards you when he heard the noise.

“Hey, super sorry, my mom just texted me to come to her room. I’ll be right back!” You smiled confidently, closing the door and trying to start walking before he questioned you.

“I should probably go with you,” he requested.

“Oh, no, it’s fine. There’s a million of you guys on the way to her room. Plus, what if someone tries to sneak in my room. How will you know?”

“Oh… alright,” he muttered, awkwardly. “Just don’t take too long.”

You nodded in agreement and skipped down the hallway, people stopping to look at you momentarily before ultimately deciding they had something more important to do than worry about you. When you got to the back secret staircase, you dropped your robe and slipped your heels. Your friends were waiting for you at the door, greeting you with squeals and hugs.

“The uber is right outside the gate, let’s go!” One of them said, sprinting to the exit. You all followed quickly, laughing and twirling in the warm summer air. That was weirdly easy. You had never had such an easy time getting out. You slowed down a bit, your friends brushing past you. Something felt off. But right now, you were out, and you could at least enjoy it while it lasts. You shook your negativity off and ran to catch up with them, exiting the gate and running up the street. You stopped at your Uber and slid into the back with two others. When the doors were all closed and the car started moving, your friend in the passenger seat turned around with a handful of small blue pills.

“Have one!”

“What is it?”

“It’s a whole lot of fun, that I know for sure.” He raised his eyebrows goofily, giggling as you shrugged and took a pill. You washed it down with a swig of vodka from someone’s flask. You winced at the sharp taste of the alcohol, feeling it burning your throat and descending into your stomach.

The music on the radio was bumping loudly, each beat of the bass shaking the car. You felt everyone moving around you so quickly, but you were frozen. Your body wouldn’t move. You didn’t feel scared, though. You almost felt that if you couldn’t move, if all you could do was just sit there and listen, no one could possibly hurt you anymore. You were finally safe.

But then a hand touched yours, and the reality of your pause in time came crashing down. Your whole body jerked, and you snapped back to reality to see your friend trying to drag you from the car and into the club. She hadn’t even noticed your temporary disconnect from reality, or if she did, she didn’t care. She, just like all of you, just wanted to party. The last thing you wanted was to come face to face with your problems.

The club was dark and smoky, blurring the faces of those around you, everyone just becoming silhouettes of themselves. Someone passed you something to smoke, and you took a drag without hesitation. You got swept up into the crowd, your body moving with theirs like seaweed in a flowing ocean. Your feet were attached to the ground, but your body floated as if the wind was carrying it in her hands. Someone came up behind you, wrapping their hands around your waist and tracing their lips up your neck. Their body moved in sync with yours, the universe holding you together like a moon to it’s orbiting planet.

“Shots!” A voice nearby called. You instinctively recognized the voice, and trailed off to find the rest of your friends passing around a bottle. You joined excitedly, wrapping your arms around one of them and reaching for the bottle. You took a long swig, not even tasting the overpriced tequila, just letting it pour straight down your throat and into your body. The walls around you turned into stained glass, the sunlight pouring in a shining a beautiful rainbow of light on the crowd around you. You remembered the blue pill you took in the car, and felt happy. He was right, this was a whole lot of fun.

The music picked up a bit, and you felt each beat pulsing through your body as if it were your own heartbeat. You dragged a person from your group out to the dance floor, needing to move your body. Luckily the rest of the group followed, dancing with you, the blue pills pulling you all into the same universe. You loved moments like this, where you lost yourself, where you couldn’t even remember what real life was like even if you tried. The thought of that scared a lot of people, and you understood why. For many people, their reality was way better than anything a drug could create for them. But for some people, and for you, you needed to disappear into another existence in order to survive.

You had no idea how long you had been dancing, it felt like only seconds but your body felt like it had been moving for hours. You were still slightly lost in your mind, the drug slowly wearing off and bringing you down to the harsh reality of the come down. You felt a hand grab tightly onto your wrist, and you yelped. You couldn’t see who it was, but they were tugging at you harshly, and you couldn’t resist much longer. Your body was tired and weak, and this man was strong. You finally felt yourself moving through the people and towards the exist, still no sight of who had their hands locked to you.

If you someone snuck out and died, your dad would be so pissed. You started feeling scared, not enough drugs left in you to block out the reality of the situation. You panicked, trying to pull your hand away and scream. But no one noticed, everyone was lost in their own universes, completely away from reality, where you needed them. That was the downfall of this lifestyle, of course. Sometimes people could lose themselves a little too much.

You managed to get pulled out the door, the fresh air smacking you harshly right in the face. You felt dizzy, the lights of the city around you spinning wildly. You sat down on the pavement, pulling whoever took you out down with you. You tried to look up at him, but felt queasy when you moved your head.

“Just take a deep breathe,” a man whispered, placing his hand on your back and rubbing slowly. “Here’s some water.” He handed you an opened bottle, your fingers touching lightly and instantly making you feel better. His touch was almost healing, like he was pulling the pain right out of you. The longer he kept his hand on you, the better you felt. You sipped slowly on the water, the cold liquid flowing through you and cleansing your body.

“We need to get going,” he instructed, pulling at your arm to get up.

“Hotchner,” you muttered, finally realizing the mystery man that was stealing you away into the night.

“It’s Aaron.”

“I don’t like that. Doesn’t fit. I do like Hotch-” you hiccuped. “Hotch, actually, that’s pretty bad ass.” You giggled loudly, Hotch helping you into the front seat of the car and buckling you in. He went around the front and got into the drivers seat, starting the car with a grunt.

“How did you find me?”

“How long do you think Cooper would’ve waited until he realized you weren’t with your mom.”

“That’s not what I asked,” you sat up, taking a deep breath and looking over at the man. “I knew you’d realize I was gone. How did you find me?”

Hotch moved his lips uncomfortably, his eyes shifting back and forth.

“Why would you go out when you know how much danger you’re in? You’re an extremely intelligent woman on paper, (Y/N), but you are clearly so incredibly stupid.”

You gasped in awe, your heart racing and heat flushing to your cheeks. You were blushing like a strawberry, digging your nails into your palms to refrain yourself from screaming at him, or punching him, or just getting out of the car at the next red light.

“You don’t know anything about me, Aaron. Don’t pretend you know me from reading a few of my daddy’s notes.” You sat back in exhaustion, feeling your eyes fill with tears. You willed yourself to not cry in front of him, to hold it together until you were alone. The last person you wanted to break down in front of was him.

“We’re stopping somewhere, before we get you home.” His voice was calmer this time, clearly realizing you were upset. He didn’t look at you the rest of the ride, staring ahead at the road, focusing intently on the cars around him. You recognized the street as he started to park, realizing you were at your apartment.

“What are we doing here?” You muttered in confusion, looking around at the familiar buildings.

“Let’s go inside.”

He turned the car off and got out, walking around to you and opening your door. You reluctantly got out, and walked slowly to the front door of your building. You realized quickly you didn’t have your keys, and turned to him. As if he read your mind, he held up your keys in his hand and nodded at you. He walked to the door and typed in the code to unlock it, revealing the lobby of your apartment building. You were on the second floor, and the two of you walked slowly up the stairs to your place. He continued to stay silent as he unlocked your apartment door, opening it hastily as he braced himself to walk into your place. He shuttered uncomfortably as he stepped inside.

“Can you tell me why we’re here now?” You insisted, shutting the door loudly behind you and locking it. You were still feeling kind of uneasy, and needed to reassurance of a locked door if someone happened to come look for you here.

“Get your things. Everything you need.” He crossed his arms, a look of authority overcoming him. You realized now that he was dressed down- wearing only a t-shirt and jeans. His arms looked stunning in the cut off sleeves, the nicely displayed muscles in plain view.

“Why… why do I need my things?”

“Because, you’ve lost your privileges to privacy. Since you want to act out, you no longer have your own place. Take everything you need and say goodbye, because we’re not coming back here again.” He had raised his voice quite loudly, his arms uncrossed and at his sides. He had gotten closer to you as he spoke, now only a foot or so away from you.

“Excuse me? Who the hell do you think you are?”

“I am trying to protect you. Do you not care at all about your own life, or your families? You are being incredibly selfish, you know that. You have an amazing family that loves you, millions of people around the country that adore you. If something happened to you, the world would be devastated, and yet you are so reckless with your life? It’s… I truly don’t get it, (Y/N).”

You stood in awe, unsure of what to say to him. You felt like a thousand pound weight just dropped on your chest. No one had ever spoken to you like that before, especially not someone who was hired to protect you. You stepped away from him, stumbling over your steps as you rested yourself against the wall.

“What… what about you?” You muttered, looking up at him. “You want to talk about recklessness with life? You don’t know me, or care about me at all, and you’re here ready and willing to die to protect me. Don’t you think that’s a little fucked up? Or, what is it, Hotch? Do you have a hero complex?” You cocked your head at him, grinning. Your moment of sadness had passed, and now you were pissed. Nobody talked to you that way. And now you wanted to piss him off.

“No, you’ve got me all wrong sweetheart,” he chuckled, walking closer and closer to you until he was inches away and you were completely backed against the wall. He moved his arms to the base of his shirt and ripped it over his head, revealing an unsurprisingly ripped body. He had multiple scars across his chest and abdomen.

“I’ve been in and out of foster homes my whole life. Switched schools constantly so I never had many friends. Went right into the Marines after high school and kept to myself for the most part there, too. I have no one, (Y/N). If I die, nobody would blink an eye. If you die, the whole country would shut down. Do you see these?” He pointed to his scars, touching them gently as if taking a moment to remember each one. “I’ve taken bullets for many before, and I’ll do it for you if I have to, Honey. That’s why I do this. I’m not reckless with my life. I have no one, no life outside of this. I can give up that to protect someone like you.”

His hand was resting on the wall behind your head, his body towering over you. He was breathing heavy, trying to relax himself.

“That is so…” you took a deep breath, bringing your hand up to his flesh and tracing your fingers over his scars. You gently circled the rough skin, watching him look down in confusion as you touched him. “Incredibly sad.” You looked up at him, meeting his eyes as your hand still pressed against his bare chest. “I’m so sorry nobody has made your life feel worth it. You don’t deserve that,” you whispered, your face only inches from his. You realized now the vanilla scent that rolled so deliciously off of him was his cologne, because it was much stronger as you got closer to the base of his neck.

“We need to get out of here. Get you home.” He muttered, turning away from you harshly, and looking around to find his shirt.

“I’m… I didn’t mean to upset you, Hotch.”

“It’s Aaron,” he barked, his eyes filled with fury as he scrambled around for his missing clothes.

“Why don’t we just get my things tomorrow? I promise I’ll stay in the rest of the night.”

“You won’t have the chance to sneak out again, I can promise you that.” He said sternly, putting his shirt on quickly and heading for the door. You followed quietly behind him, your head racing and your body flushing from being so close to him just moments ago. He ushered you into the car quickly and slammed the door behind you. His energy had changed so dramatically from moments ago, but you were still feeling so drawn to him.

You remembered the way his bare skin felt to your touch. Even one small brush on your fingertips against his flesh made him melt, as if he couldn’t remember the last time somebody had touched him with such pure intentions.

He was driving quite recklessly back to the big house, not saying a word as you stared silently ahead, replaying the moment over and over in your head. You wanted to say something, trying to come up with the right words to handle this situation. But your brain came up empty, and you continued to stay silent the rest of the drive home.

Hotch parked the car in the garage, sitting back in his seat for a moment as if he wanted to get something off his chest before going in. “You’re lucky I didn’t tell anyone you’d snuck out. I’ll cover for you this time, but don’t count on it if it happens again.”

“I’m sorry I made you come get me,” you whispered, fully realizing how dumb and selfish your actions were. He was right, you were reckless with your life. But you’d never really cared about it, or even thought about it, until now.

“That was, um,” he shifted, clearing his throat. “That was unprofessional of me to talk to you that way. I apologize.”

“No… I… you were right. I kind of needed to hear it. And, again, I’m sorry that you feel the way you do.” You slowly reached your hand out and grabbed onto his, your delicate hand resting gracefully amongst his strong, tired ones. It was almost comical, the difference in the sizes.

Your fingers intertwined in his, your palms meeting as you sat silently in the car. You looked up at him, his eyes staring deeply at your hand in his. His thumb grazed gently over your skin, his silent way of acknowledging your touch. You knew, in that moment, that your feelings towards each other were the same. There was an undeniable chemistry between the two of you, despite every element working against a relationship. And you both knew that. It could never work, and nothing could ever happen.

He tore his hand away with haste and looked out the window, refusing to verbally acknowledge the moment you just shared. One of many moments you had shared since you met.

“You need to get inside before anyone else realizes you’re gone. Cooper is inside the door. I’ll see you in the morning.” He refused to look at you, his body backed up into the door as far away as he could get himself. You nodded silently and opened your door, getting out onto the concrete and beginning to walk to the door. You turned back to look at him, and he was watching you, as always.

“I want to make sure you get in safe,” he muttered through the cracked window of his car door.

“Thank you, Hotch.” You smiled at him, and were hoping to catch a grin from him, too. But he didn’t seem like the type of man to smile very often, and this definitely wasn’t the right moment. He continued to watch you until you got in the door, an angry Cooper ready to lecture you as he walked you back to your room. You did your best to ignore his taunts, your mind still on Hotch.

You fell asleep quickly after you got back to your room, your body craving the healing powers of sleep. Your dreams were fluttered with thoughts of him, his touch. You could not even escape him in your solitude, your soul, your subconscious, was so encapsaleted by him. They would not let you forget him, even if your slumber.

You finally woke up around eleven the next morning, confused and dehydrated, your head throbbing. You clearly had a wicked hangover, and were still feeling pretty laggy from the drugs the night before. You crawled slowly out of bed and into your connecting bathroom, sticking your head under the sink and slurping down faucet water like a child on a hot summer day. The cool taste felt refreshing on your throat, but the minute it hit your throat you felt nauseous. You clipped your hair back so it was away from your face, which was still rocking last night's makeup. You finally opened the door of your room to a different man, one you hadn’t recognized.

Seeing a stranger made you startled, especially standing right outside of your room. You instinctively wanted to call for Hotch, pleading for him to come sweep you off your feet and save you. But, there was nothing to save you from, as this man was just the third shift night guard. He confirmed that when he muttered, “Honey has left her room. Send in A3.”

You waited for him to greet you, say anything at all, but he stood silent and waited for him commanding guard to relieve of him his duties. You started to walk towards the kitchen, the nausea you were facing earlier now turned to hunger. You were stopped by his arm, blocking you from going any further.

“You have to wait until he gets here, Miss.”

“Right, sorry.” He had already turned away, you weren’t even sure if he had heard your apology. You didn’t know how long you’d have to wait until Hotch came and released you from your prison cell, so you scrolled through instagram in annoyance as you waited.

“Good morning, it’s wonderful of you to join the living. Long night last night?” Hotch was smirking at you, a look of contempt as he clearly saw the misery of the previous night sweating right out of you. His mood clearly changed to despising you, again. And if that’s how he wanted to play things this morning, you were happy to play right along with him.

“Not all of us have no life at all, Aaron. Sometimes people, ya know, do things.” You rolled your eyes as you walked passed him quickly, trying to get down to the kitchen before all the food was gone.

“Not all of us have death threats hanging over our heads, either,” he snapped back, his voice sharp and stern. “Where are you going, (Y/N)?”

“Breakfast. I’m hungry,” you shrugged, continuing to walk fast and not get too close to him. Everything felt so hot and cold, you honestly had no idea what he was feeling. The times where you were close, where you felt him, it was so genuine. You knew there was a chemistry between you. But his anger towards you also felt so real. If he was somehow faking, if it was an act or a defense mechanism for his true feelings, he was doing an incredible job.

“All the food is gone. They won’t be back till lunch in another hour.” His smirk came back, as if he was excited by the idea that you now couldn’t eat. “We could go get food, though. If you’d like. If you can’t wait.”

“Yeah, that’s a great idea actually. There’s a little diner right near my place that has the best chocolate chip pancakes I have ever had.” Your thoughts were racing, the idea of delicious food filling your brain. You did that, sometimes, just lost yourself in your thoughts or an idea. You caught him smiling, maybe at you, maybe at just a passing thought. But the feeling of him watching you, seeing your beauty, and smiling. It made your heart race.

“Let’s get to the car, we don’t wanna be gone too long. You’ve got a lot to prepare for your trip coming up.” Hotch motioned towards the stairs, and you remembered the current state of your wardrobe and stopped in your tracks.

“I can’t go looking like this… I mean, this is bad,” you laughed, pointing at your messy hair and smudged mascara.

“Maybe nobody will recognize you if you look that… well…” he chuckled, raising a brow as he looked you up and down.

“Well that’s a little rude.” You both laughed together until silence ultimately fell on the room. You felt like there was more to be said, but you weren’t sure what. You stood still, waiting for some instruction on what to do next. Why was it that you could never figure out what to do with yourself in situations like this?

“I think you look beautiful,” he observed, a slight comical tone to his voice. But the way he looked at you, the way he said it, for a slight moment, it felt real. His words felt real. And you would lose yourself in the chaos of it all if you had to spend every day decoding his words, trying to figure out what is real, what is truly him, and what is a facade. You couldn’t fall for him, you couldn't put yourself through that. But each moment with him drew you in more and more, you almost felt that you would be unable to escape him if things went any further, if the small flirtatious comments and slight forbidden touches when you were alone.

“Let’s get to the car, go get you something to eat,” he instructed, beginning to walk away. You followed him close behind, not sure why you craved the security of him so much. It was his job, but he really did make you feel safe. You followed him down the garage silently, and hoped into the passenger seat of his SUV.

“Where are we going?” He asked, trying to program the address into the GPS. He looked up at you for an answer, his eyes wide and childlike, the simple act of asking you for assistance making you melt.

“Uh, Ruby Street Diner,” you stuttered, watching his hands diligently as he typed in the address. He turned on the radio and started driving, and you stared eagerly out the window as you drove. You weren’t sure, but you could’ve sworn you heard him humming with the music. It was those little things that reminded you he was still human, and that was the last thing he was supposed to do. The more human he became, the more he showed you of himself, the harder it would be for you to walk away.

The drive was silent, but you didn’t mind it. It didn’t feel awkward. Neither of you had anything to say, and sometimes that’s okay. You watched him out of the corner of his eye, watching his face, the way he studied the world around him. Sometimes it seemed like he saw everything, like he saw you watching him. If he knew, he didn’t care. He would glance over at you ever minute or so, maybe to just check if you’re still safe, still breathing. Maybe because he, too, was wondering how he could walk away from you.

He parked his car on the street across from the diner, and checked his pockets and gun before turning the car off. He looked around him, checking for anything suspicious and out of the ordinary. He clearly didn’t see anything to worry him much, because he opened the door quickly after and got out of the car. He walked to your side and opened your door, checking for oncoming cars as he did so. You were used to people opening doors for you, but something about him holding it open and grabbing your hand as you stepped out of the large truck was hot.

You walked into the diner and were quickly seated at a small booth in the corner, per his request. It was never a good idea to be in the center of the scene, he said. You nodded in understanding, looking around at the crowd, which wasn’t anything to be worried about. The scene at a diner at noon on a Thursday was never very eventful.

“Thanks for taking me out,” you whispered, your eyes lazily scrolling over the menu even though you already had your heart set on those chocolate chip pancakes.

“It’s my number one duty to make sure you are safe and satisfied.”

“Satisfied? I don’t feel like that’s really a part of your job description.”

“Of course it is. If you’re unhappy, angry, sad- you’re more likely to rebel, lash out, sneak out.” He chuckled softly, taking a sip of the hot coffee the waitress just poured for you both. You ordered your food, and Hotch ordered some wheat toast and a fruit bowl. You rolled your eyes at his order, knowing you were about to stuff your face.

“So, are you saying the only reason I go to party is because I’m unhappy?”

“I don’t want to make any assumptions about your life. It’s just, in my experience, people turn to that life if they aren’t satisfied with their normal existence.”

“Is anybody happy with their normal existence?” You questioned, sighing loudly as you sat back in the booth. He watched you for a moment, his eyes paying special attention to your rising chest as you started breathing heavily. He set his arm down on the table, laying his palm out as he looked up at you.

You stared at his exposed hand, a sudden remembering of your fingers intertwined in his car last night. He needed your touch, then. He needed a pull back to humanity, a remembrance that nobody is truly alone in this life. And now, you needed it. You needed somebody to hold your hand. And he knew.

You reluctantly placed your arm down on the table, looking around at the people in the place. No one was even paying the slightest attention to you. A rare moment where nobody cared who you were, or what you were doing. Your fingers moved towards his, and you grabbed on to him slowly. It was a slight touch, nothing that would be noticeable to anybody passing by. But it was enough for both of you. It was enough to mean something.

“I would like to think that everybody has a chance to be happy. It’s just a matter of finding your happiness.” His fingers moved closer to yours, his thumb slightly rubbing your fingers. You felt like you couldn’t breathe, his illicit touch sending sparks through your whole body.

“Alright, you guys ready to eat?” Your waitress cheerily interrupted, causing you to both instinctively rip your hands away and put them at your sides. It didn’t appear that she noticed anything but your heart was still racing and you could tell his was, too.

You ate your food quickly, avoiding eye contact with him as he nibbled on pieces of toast. You only seemed to have two types of moments with him; ones where neither of you could think of any words, or ones where words flowed out of you like a poet. You felt like you could tell him anything, but at the same time you were afraid to say anything.

“I think we should go,” he quietly muttered after you had finally finished a majority of your food.

“Um.. is everything okay?”

“This… this is really bad, Honey. What is happening now. It cannot be happening. I apologize for any inappropriate actions I’ve made since we’ve met. I would offer to step down and let someone else take this roll but I spent weeks training on how to protect you, and I don’t think you’d be safe with anyone else. I hope that’s okay with you.”

You stared at him in awe, a sick feeling overcoming your stomach. You shook your head for a moment, trying to think of the right words to respond with. He was right, this was stupid, and an extremely self destructive act. Besides, nothing had even really happened, and it was probably way better to shut things down now before it went any further. So much of you didn’t want it to end, didn’t want to not know what a life with him could be like. But you thought about your family, your life, and knew it wasn’t smart, or safe.

“You’re right, um, yeah. That's okay. I think it’s smart to keep you on, especially with the trip coming up.”

He nodded in agreeal, pushing his food away in disgust. You wondered if he felt just as sick as you did, just as heartbroken and miserable as you were. You knew one thing, for sure. That he was just as lonely and disappointed in life as you were. He was living in the same boat you were, and maybe that’s why you connected so easily. Sharing a common pain, it was easy to feel drawn to him. But you had to draw the line, as terrible as it was.

“Let’s go back home.”

The next few weeks went by uneventfully. There was nothing new to report on Hotch, or Aaron, as he now insisted you called him. There were no passing glances, no secret touches. You had both controlled yourself, and it was much easier than you thought. You were starting to wonder if the attraction was all circumstance, and there was nothing of real sustenance to your ‘relationship’. His touch still existed in your dreams, though. That was one place where you couldn’t control your thoughts. Every morning when you woke up, the thought of you in his dreams made you wonder.

Today was the day you finally left your trip, and you were flying out to San Francisco now. You sat eagerly in the airport, a crowd of men surrounding you, Aaron sitting at your side. He would accompany you in first class, and the rest of your night guards would scatter around coach to keep an eye on anyone suspicious. You had your headphones in, trying to distract yourself from the upcoming flight. You were quite a nervous flyer, and you were feeling exceptionally overwhelmed today. You couldn’t wait to get seated and have a drink, something to calm your nerves.

You were leaving pretty late, and would arrive pretty late as well. When you got in, you were all going straight to the hotel and preparing for your first presentation tomorrow. You boarded quickly, being one of the first allowed to get on the plane. Aaron held on to your carry on bags, and his, and followed you into the cabin. The rest of your guards stayed behind until it was their turn to board. Luckily, nobody had seemed to notice or recognize you on the flight, yet. You were hoping it would stay that way, as you were utterly exhausted and weren’t in the mood for small talk with a stranger today.

“You all buckled in?” Aaron asked as he placed your bags in the overhead storage bin.

“Yep, all safe and secure officer,” you giggled, leaning your head back in the large seat.

“Sounds good,” he smiled, taking his seat next to you and buckling himself in. You sat and scrolled through your phone mindlessly as the rest of the plane boarded, watching your night guards pass you by and give Aaron a slight thumbs up when they passed each other. You faked your way through listening to the emergency instructions, pleasing Aaron as he urged you to pay attention. The plane finally started moving and you settled into your seat, your nails digging into your palms as you prepared for the ascent.

Going up was always terrifying, but what you weren’t expecting was the turbulence as you headed into the sky. There was a storm coming in, and the pilot mentioned it might be bumpy until you get high enough. The shakiness was torture, but an unexpected drop in altitude made you jump and latch onto Hotch’s hand in instinct. Your fingers were locked with his, squeezing tight as the plane leveled out and you caught your breath.

“Sorry about that, folks,” the pilot spoke over the intercom, his voice light and cheery as if nothing just happened. “Should be clearing out of this storm in a minute or so. Keep buckled.”

You looked over to him, your hand still clutched in his, your heart finally coming to a normal rhythm. He was staring down at your hands, the remembrance of your touch sending him somewhere he was desperately avoiding.

“I’m… it was an accident, Aaron. I’m sorry,” you mumbled, trying to pull your hand from his, but his grip was locked around you.

“Nervous flyer?” He joked.

“Yes. I hate it.”

“I fly all the time,” he assured, your hand still in his. “You know you’re more likely to die in a car than a plane?”

“I’m not so much nervous about dying as I am getting stranded on an island like Lost.”

“Weren’t they all dead in the end, anyways?”

“I never got that far, but that still doesn’t sound ideal. The whole point of death is to not have to deal with life anymore.”

Your hands were still linked together, his thumb now tracing circles on the back of your hand. His leg moved closer to you until you were touching, the closest you two could possibly get while sitting in a plane. It was in that moment that you realized whatever you had been trying to avoid with him was no longer unavoidable. You had reached a new level of intimacy, a door was opened that could not be closed.

“Aaron…”

“I don’t like that. I like Hotch,” he teased, his eyes twinkling as they met the dim overhead lights of the plane.

“Hotch… are you sure you want to keep touching me?”

His eyes widened at your voice, and he instinctively ripped away his hand and pulled his leg from you. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to gather a thought.

“Do you want a drink?” You asked, trying to change the subject.

“I can’t, I’m working.” He turned forward and looked at the stared at the screen on the back of the seat. You decided not to say anymore, clearly realizing the moment had passed and there was nothing left to be said.

A flight attendant came by shortly after and you finally got your well deserved drink. Hotch stayed silent, watching you sip the forbidden liquid and get slightly more calm with every sip. You had two more before finally falling asleep, the exhaustion of anxiety taking over. You woke up when you felt your ears pop as the plane began descending. You bolted up with alarm, Hotch watching you quietly. You couldn’t remember if he looked over at you after you woke up, or if he had been watching while you slept.

“We’ll be landing soon.”

“Can I have some gum?” You motioned to your ears, cringing in pain. Hotch handed you a stick of mint gum from his bag, which you chewed happily as you watched your descent into the night. The lights from the city were beautiful, and you felt extremely happy to be back doing what you love, in one of your favorite cities. You had always wanted to move here, but your father would’ve had a heart attack if you weren’t within 20 minutes of him.

The plane landed on the ground with a jolt, shaking you awake. You looked to Hotch, who was already turning his phone on to inform your family that you had landed safely. He spoke swiftly to your dad, assuring him that he would let him know when we arrived at the hotel. You watched his every move, the way his lips moved with such assurity at every word he spoke. He knew you, everything about you, truly. He was the one person in the world that was 100% dedicated to you. He would die for you. Holy shit. Maybe you had a bit too much to drink.

“You ready to go?”

“Uh, yeah, let’s.” You stood up quickly, without paying attention, and slammed your head right on the overhead. “Shit,” you groaned, holding on to your forehead in pain.

“Oh man,” Hotch mumbled, grabbing your waist and pulling you close to him. He reached his hand to your forehead and ran his thumb over the bump. He moved his hand down to your cheek, and looked down into your eyes.

“It’s a little red, but I think you’ll be okay,” he whispered, his lips dangerously close to yours.

“That’s good,” you mumbled, the tip of your nose brushing against his. You had placed your hand to his chest, playing with the buttons on the hem of his shirt.

He pulled away from you suddenly, shaking his head and taking a breath. He opened up the overhead and pulled out the bags, not looking at you once again. You felt your legs shaking, your heart beating, and your center throbbing at the thought of his lips. It took all of your strength to not pull him back to you and kiss him. But you couldn’t, not here, anyway.

You followed Hotch off the plane and stood at the gate for the rest of your men. Hotch didn’t say a word to you, only waited in authority for his men to meet him. He was their leader, they did everything he said. Watching him boss them around was kind of sexy, and you felt your body aching more and more for him. Finally the rest of your team came out and met up with you.

“I want you guys to wait for Honey’s bags then meet us back at the hotel. There will be cars waiting. I want her out of here as fast as possible, so we’re leaving now. Are we clear?” He nodded at them in clarification, and they all nodded back in agreement. They began walking towards baggage claim, and you followed Hotch the opposite direction.

“Where are we going?”

“Secret exit, there’s a car waiting for us there.” He walked steadily at your side, weaving through crowds and shielding you from oncoming people. A few people glanced to your direction with curiosity, most likely thinking “I know that girl from somewhere.” But Hotch rushed you out too quickly for anyone to fully remember you. You passed behind a guarded door, Hotch flashing his badge to the guards as they nodded at him and opened doors. You were rushed down a flight of stairs and out a back door, into the California night air. And as Hotch said, a black SUV with a driver you didn’t recognize was waiting for you.

“Who’s that?”

“One of my old men,Derek, a good friend. It’s not safe for me to be driving here. We're in good hands with him, though.”

Derek rolled down the window and greeted Hotch, a large smile of the man's face. “Nice to meet you, Miss. (Y/N). Welcome to my ride,” he laughed. Hotch opened the door for you and you stepped in the back, him following close behind. Derek started the car and began driving, flashing Hotch’s badge as you went through various gates to get back on the road. The partition was up in the car, blocking Derek’s eyes and ears from you and Hotch. You weren’t sure why he had it up, as most of your drivers usually leave it down until asked. Maybe he just assumed you would be having a confidential conversation or something, right?

“Thanks for getting me out safe, Hotch,” you teased, placing your hand playfully on his shoulder.

“Of course, Honey.” He turned towards you, his head tilted as he looked down to you. He rested his hand on your thigh, his thumb teasing your exposed flesh. You shivered at his touch, his hands cold against the warmth of your inner thigh. His fingers continued to trail up your flesh, toying with you as they moved slowly to where you craved him most. You moved your hips awkwardly, trying to get closer to him, trying to get him closer to you.

He started to play with the hem of your underwear, his thumb grabbing onto the fabric and brushing against your flesh. His other fingers slowly began to touch you, moving rhythmically over your clit. You sighed in relief, finally getting the much needed pleasure. You wanted more, you would’ve straddled him right then and there. But he quickly took his hand away, leaving you defeated and unsatisfied. You turned to him with a frown, only to find a smug grin plastered on his face.

“Later, Honey.” He whispered, his eyes locked on yours. You nodded, excitement overtaking you as you thought of what could happen next. You turned back forward and straightened yourself out, trying to catch your breath.

The rest of the drive was torture, craving someone so close. You didn’t know how much longer you could hold yourself together. Right as you were starting to convince yourself to just kiss him, you finally pulled up to the hotel. Derek parked in the entrance and got out of the car to open your door. He opened Hotch’s side, first, and shook his hand as he exited the car. You got out after him, declining for him to walk around and open your door, as well. Hotch had already grabbed the few bags you did have and was holding on to them tightly. You thanked Derek for driving you and assured him you would see him tomorrow. Hotch and him said their goodbyes, and then you followed him into the lobby of the hotel. You stayed behind as he checked you in, not trying to look too conspicuous.

Hotch walked back over to you and flashed the room keys. “Let’s get to your room, get you settled.”

You followed him to the elevator, which was an awkwardly silent ride. You rode up to the top floor, where the Presidential suite was, no doubt. Your father always insisted you had the nicest room in the place. It was a bit much, in your opinion, but it wasn’t worth arguing with him about things like that. The elevator finally came to a halt and opened its doors. Hotch left first and you followed him down the hall to one of the suites.

“Alright, here you go,” he said, handing you your key and dropping your bags to the floor.

“Uh, are you leaving me?” You questioned, your eyes wide with confusion.

“Relax,” he chuckled. “I’m right across the hall. I’m just gonna change, I always feel so gross after a plane. Why don’t you get ready for bed and I’ll check on you in a few minutes?”

“Alright,” you grumbled, disappointed that your night with Aaron was clearly ending here.

You opened the door to your room and brought your bags in, Hotch waiting for your door to close until he went into his own room. You laid down with a huff on the bed, sulking into the covers in frustration. What a fucking tease, you thought. You shook your head in anger and jumped off the bed, willing yourself to relax a bit before tomorrow.

You changed out of your clothes, stripping completely naked and throwing on your silk robe before you got in the shower. You started unpacking your toiletries, placing your obnoxiously expensive hair and skin care in the shower, ready for you to use at your convenience. You searched in frustration for your toothbrush, tossing things around your bags as you looked. You felt like you’d been searching for a half hour when a knock on the door through you from your search.

You stood up uncomfortably, realizing you were almost naked. You looked around for clean clothes, but were worried if you didn’t answer the door immediately one of those big-head guards would knock the door down. You groaned loudly and ran to the door, hoping to god you weren’t too exposed.

Hotch was standing in the doorway, a filthy grin on his face as you opened the door. You backed away from the door and he walked in, closing and locking the door behind him. He walked up to you, his body inches away from yours. He grabbed on to the sash of your robe, pulling at the end so that the loose knot would come undone. The front of the robe spilled open, exposing your nude front. Hotch brought his hands to your shoulders and grabbed onto the robe, pulling it completely off your body.

He brought his hand up to your chest, slowly caressing your breast and toying with your nipple. He ripped his shirt over his head aggressively, and then wrapped his arms around your waist. He pulled your face close to his and kissed you, a much needed kiss full of desperation. His tongue invaded your mouth forcefully, his body taking complete and total control of yours. His lips tasted like scotch, which he clearly drank pretty quickly in his room before coming over. Maybe he needed the courage, or maybe he needed to take the edge off. Either way, the taste made you crave a drink.

You started to push away from the kiss, planning to run to the mini bar and grab a bunch of bottles for the two of you. Hotch just chuckled, grabbed onto your wrist and pushed you on the bed.

“Hotch, I want a drink,” you giggled, trying to evade his grip.

“Not now, Honey. Now you want me,” he ordered, biting his lip as he looked down at you.

“Yes, sir,” you teased, blowing Hotch a kiss. He moved down lower and spread your legs, looking at you with a hunger in his eyes. He spit aggressively on your pussy, and then dragged his tongue across your entirety. He was lapping at your clit sloppily, your body jerking with pleasure as he shoved two fingers inside of you. He started to focus more with the tip of tongue, his fingers moving in perfect rhythm, arching as they went inside to hit your spot.

“Fuck,” you squealed, arching your back as your body was overcome with pleasure.

“Are you gonna cum, sweetheart? Are you gonna cum for me?” He growled, pouting his lips as he looked up at you.

“Yes, keep doing that,” you stuttered. A satisfied smile came over his face, and he went back to eating you out. He focused on your clit, his tongue stimulating it in ways you’d never experienced before. Your body was almost shaking as you finally reached your climax, Hotch licking you up as you finished. You went limp, for a moment, trying to catch your breath from your high.

“Turn around,” he instructed, slapping your thigh.

“I need a sec,” you muttered.

“Now. Turn around, now.” His glare was intimidating, but you could still see a gleam of light in his eyes. The dominance was something you hadn’t experienced yet, but it was turning you on wildly. You nodded at him, getting on your knees and bending over. He slapped your ass with a force, making you yelp with an equal mix of pleasure and pain. You could hear him chuckle behind your back, already feeling your skin raising where he marked you.

You heard him unbuckling his pants, and you’d realized you hadn’t seen his dick yet. You wanted to be surprised, though. You wanted to experience him for the first time inside of you. You felt him placing himself at your entrance, the tip of his dick playing with you. He started to slowly slide in, and you were uncomfortably shocked by his size and girth. You winced as he fit all of himself inside of you, feeling his length overtaking your whole body. He was by far the biggest you’d ever experienced, and you were taking a second to adjust.

“Oh, poor Honey,” he chuckled. “Am I too much for you?”

“No, I can handle it,” you replied in defiance. “Fuck me, Aaron. Fuck me.”

He laughed again, taking your instruction to heart and pounding himself in and out of you, fast. It was too much at first, feeling like he was breaking you. He was so much bigger than you, he could literally overcome you. You felt his presence watching your ass as he fucked you, realizing now how hot it was that he was so big.

“You have such a tight little pussy, I fucking love it,” he moaned, his nails digging into the flesh on your hips. His pumps were getting sloppier, each thrust you could feel his body getting more tense. He was twitching inside of you, and finally you felt his warm release fill you up. He stayed inside you a moment, both of you catching your breath. He pulled himself out and sat on the edge of the bed. You turned around and laid flat, staring breathlessly at the ceiling.

You heard the sound of a phone, and you winced as the comfort of the silence was broken. Hotch stood up, his naked body glowing like a statue in the low light. You took in his body, examined it like a piece of art, remembered every bit. You never wanted to forget him. You didnt think you could.

Hotch grabbed his phone and answered quickly. “What’s going on?... Alright…. Sounds good.” He ended the call and set the phone done on the desk.

“Get dressed, make the bed,” he requested, rather harshly.

“Ugh, cmon Hotch, can I just have a second?” You groaned, flopping to your side in exhaustion.

“Do I need to ask again? Get up, put your clothes on and make the bed. Now!” He barked. He was already searching the ground for his clothes, trying to put himself back together after unraveling with you. You got up and did as you were told, putting your robe back on and searching for pants. You made the bed to the best of the ability, although it wasn't really your strong suit. You shrugged, apologetic as Hotch gave you a disappointed look when he looked at your work.

A knock on the door prevented Hotch from lecturing you on your cleaning skills. He ran to the door and opened it to reveal the rest of your guards. They dropped your bags off in the entryway and shared a few words with Hotch. He turned to you and started to talk.

“First shift will start now. I’ll see you in the morning?”

“Of course.”

Hotch grabbed his phone and dialed a number, holding it to his ear. He waited a few seconds before the person on the other end answered.

“It’s me. Honey is secure. I’ll check in in the morning.”

#aaron hotchner #hotchner #hotch #hotch x reader #aaron hotcner x reader #criminal minds

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deathvsthemaiden · 4 years ago

Note

Prince Harry, Prince William, Waver Velvet, Diluc Ragnvindr, Jeremy Fragrence, and Childe (Ajax)....uwa I spelled Diluc's name right on the first go!

THE DISGUST THE VISCERAL DISGUST I AM FEELING AT EXACTLY HALF OF THESE.... ur too good and dependable I LOVE u *sniffles* 😔🤕

Harry:

Yikes full stop. Yikes. || I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? || I Do Not Deserve How Could You Do This? Hmm? Et tu, Brutus? 😐

Ok listen being royalty esp modern royalty immediately cancels out any beauty god gave you in my eyes. All the poetry I wax about how there is something to appreciate in every face and body is null and void here. If we take the Some Guy approach and look at him objectively (impossible but I’ll humor you in the name of love and not being a spoilsport).... nothing I feel nothing. Maybe a whisper of contempt and a little voice in my head going “we should avoid him he’s not going to add to our life.” But that’s. IT.

William:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him. II I’m Far Too Sane And Pretty For This?

*by this point I am shaking and crying from psychic damage* see above 👆🏽😐

Waver Velvet:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But. I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty (I Suppose) Like If He Floats Your Boat Epic But I Might Not Attend The Wedding || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him.

his younger self awakens big sister instincts in me meaning he would be SO fun to tease and annoy + root for + naively hope he grows into a fine young man. At that young age he is not yet broken so there is no fixing to be done, but I certainly could help set him straight! Like a bonsai 💚 he’s more sinless and (unintentionally) funny and full of promise than his other selves.

His adult self however awakens the misandrist in me. I wanna come up to him unprovoked and tell him to smile or else bc that’s the only time he’s handsome imo.... also when he has vulnerable moments like being sad the shoes he bought with his first ever paycheck got ruined 🥺 or when he gets all triumphant and carefree ever so once in a while, like in the first ep of Case Files... what I mean is sometimes his prickly hard cranky veneer cracks and I catch a dazzling shimmer of handsome but... not often enough for my liking 😑 for my favored pixelated men I get a genuine kick out of their being disgruntled (sign of true love) but his grumbling just makes me want to file for divorce and we’re not even married 😐 like can you imagine road tripping with this man? I can’t I couldn’t I will not! And omg I don’t think you could make him say stuff like I love you without feeling like you’re pulling teeth... I don’t have the patience to reach that point with him. We’d be so bad for each other and not even in the fun way... his sharp way of dress and penchant for red and long hair and passion for certain subjects are just not enough to salvage him for me, if I want to be subjected to a short tempered man all day I have a father 😩 also he has the kind of sense of responsibility that would doom you if you married him I feel. Like admirable but also what the fuck dude. Taking on all of Kayneth’s debt w/o batting an eye? Mr Velvet what about your hypothetical wife and children.... like I can’t imagine him stopping to think about them in such a scenario... he’d have to marry someone like Melvin (or Melvin himself) who would get a kick out of that brash decision and support him and I’m the wrong dame! He feels like if he had a family and he grew into old age, he would end up one of those foreboding slightly frigid patriarchs w/ short fuses who have hearts of gold but you have to dig so long and hard that by the time you have reached it you’re youth has passed you by and your fingers are worn to the bone and you’re tired... so tired..... you should’ve listened to your mother and married that nice doctor within your ethnic group instead... he’s been a widower for a few years now, hasn’t he? Has a summer home in Vienna and a very nice curly beard? Last time you stalked his FB anyway....

Also his little friend Melvin is hilarious but I could never allow him into my home on the reg. I refuse. Reines is on thin ice and reminds me too much of my sister in some ways... Literally the only person he is oft surrounded by that I would not only be chill with but delighted to have over is Flatt Escardos. Love that wild little man, he’s a brilliant riot. But also a bit of a danger to himself and others I think? Idk I barely read FSF bc the niqabi character design pissed me off to hell and back and then some 😔💔

Diluc Ragnvindr:

Oh he’s pretty enough.... like def not an ugly man! But as you yourself often correctly say he’s just Some Guy! When you tell me why you love him I absolutely understand how he captivated you 🥺 but I personally am too wild of heart to be ensnared by so sober (ahaha get it? Bc he owns a tave— whatever nvm v_v)/ and stable a man.

Jeremy Fragrance:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I Could See The Objective Appeal If He Never Opened His Mouth But I’m Too Smart To Be Taken In By Some Conventionally Pretty Features And Some Muscle™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him.

I scroll past his vids fairly fast the same way I often scroll past spider pics that make it on to my dash despite my best efforts.... when I decide to watch his videos I regret it so much and can barely finish. The way he talks and acts and the things he Just Says sans hesitation make me so uncomfy... so performative and out of touch in the unfun way and aggressive... why isn’t he an actor why couldn’t he be named Jeremy Drama... then I could lie to myself and go it’s okayyy Hiba it isn’t real I’m sure he’s sane behind closed doors 😖 anyway I couldn’t willingly stay in the same room with him for 5 min I COULDNT! I’m v confident our priorities and moral compasses are polar opposites and have you heard the way he talks about women? 🤨 I would honestly. Prefer Patrick Bateman. Not even kidding bc at least that man isn’t real and has successfully made me laugh and gets Big Mad over the dumbest stuff so I can mock him before he kills me. Also I think I could outsmart Bateman but... what does one do with JF other than... keep ur distance. Like I’d never trust either BUT. Yeah.

Childe (Ajax):

HES ERRATIC.... IM ERRATIC.... CAN I MAKE IT ANY MORE OBVIOUSSSS<3 no but rlly I love a lively straightforward man and he’s got red in his character design + is often pictured with whales? And his galactic themed suit of armor is nice 😳 he’d be fun to hang out with and divorce on grounds so outrageous and absurd we both find it hilarious ✅ like I don’t think I’ll ever love love him esp since all my knowledge of him is second hand but he sounds like a blast 💥

#asks #long post #I had to invent so many new categories for this.... necessity rlly is the cruel stepmother of invention after all #waver is a cactus but I am no desert rose... I need more I hunger for more

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2018shawn · 5 years ago

Text

1+1 | descent | part 3

warnings: ok so, there is smut but I have begun and ended it with a ***** so you can skip if u want bc they be loving each other during this pregnancy liFE. there is mentions of blood (towards the end), drinking, swearing etc

a/n: omg I love you all so much sorry for taking so long here are some of the requests I used to keep me going with a lil breakdown:

maybe for 1+1 there r complications with the pregnancy (nothing life threatening just a little harder or something) and shawn is super cute and protective - a little teaser, more in next chap x

Shawn would be a worrying mess throughout your pregnancy for sure🥺😂 - again, will be more in next chapter

Y/n being horny whilst being pregnant - big mood

Could you write something about Shawn and y/n going to her parent's for dinner and her mum picks on her the entire time, maybe Shawn comforts her or confronts her? - so i kinda adjusted it a bit bc I just couldn't imagine it like full on if that makes any sense but anyways ye

Shawn making sure she takes her prenatal pills and is on time for all appointments. - he would 10/10 do this I bet ur ass

Just all the fluff about pregnancy that you possible can write. I LOVE YOUR WORK💗🥰 - you are the cutest lil ANGEL I love YOU 🥺

word count: 6.5k

previous parts: here

You never thought you’d be one of those pregnant women who obsessed over their weight and constantly observed for signs of a growing bump; but you never thought you’d get pregnant and here you are, stood in front of your mirror, almost 1/3 of the way into your pregnancy already - 10 weeks, to be exact. You were only 5 weeks pregnant when you’d visited your doctor that one day, adamant that you were going to receive bad news, only to receive the complete opposite.

As your mind wandered back to that day, 5 weeks ago, the palm of your hand caressed the bare skin of your stomach, admiring how much your body was already changing. You’d left the doctors office in a complete state of shock, insisting Dr. Blake check the test results at least 5 times before you finally nodded and accepted that you were pregnant. Shawn hadn’t stopped talking the whole day after that and found concern in you being just as quiet as what you would been if the worst had come out of that meeting. Of course it was just the shock, that your body, despite everything you’d been told, had been able to pull through and create a miracle. The fuzzy feeling of 2 day old stubble resting on your shoulder and curls tickling the side of your neck brought you back to current day, eyes wandering up from your stomach to meet the eyes of Shawn’s. His arms wrapped around your hips, covering your own as he allowed his fingers to entwine with yours. “Whatcha’ thinking ‘bout?” He asked before turning his head to place a delicate kiss in the crook of your neck.

You shivered and smiled at the ticklish sensation, a small giggle leaving your lips. “That you really need to shave your poor excuse of a beard.” His mouth opened wide, offended of the insult towards his manliness as you continued to declare your real thoughts. “Just... this. Us. I guess.” Your head fell and rested against his as he nodded, moving both of your hands to your lower stomach, where baby would soon be continuously blooming.

“You know, baby M sure has put a little glow on your skin and a wider smile on your face.” His chin was heavy on your shoulder as he spoke, but you didn’t mind, considering in a few months you’d have a baby gnawing away at your shoulder. And being sick down it. And dribbling down it. And... why do you have babies, again?

“Baby M?” You asked, eyebrows raised in admiration of the sudden new nickname who was previously known as bub.

Shawn shrugged, finally giving you some room and detaching from your frame so you could continue to go about your normal morning routine. You did so by picking up your hairbrush from the cabinet next to you, dragging in through your untamed bed head. “Yeah, i mean, bub was cute and all... but... you’re my original bub, really. And I guess the M can stand for Mendes. Or miracle. Or both?” He questioned, more than confirmed, leaving you smiling at his pointless babbles and theories. Shawn swiftly moved on to tell you he’d checked the parenting app this morning, and Baby M is now the size of a lime. He also told you that he read an article that told you eating peanuts and dairy could make the baby allergic to them in the future, but with further research he soon developed it was nothing but a mere myth. Most of all, whilst you were getting ready, Shawn told you how lucky he feels to have you and how much he loves you.

You turned to the side one final time before you left the mirror, hands coming back to the small bump across your stomach. Shawn walked back into the room, toothbrush hanging from his mouth and towel hung from his hips, rolling his eyes as you studied yourself yet again. “Bub, stop it.” He somewhat spoke, through minty bubbles and white paste.

“Am I...” You started, alternating between pinching the skin and caressing it with the palm of your hand. “Am I getting fat?”

Shawn almost spat his mouth care out, the brushing of his teeth coming to a stop as he stared at you, astonished by your brief question. “You’re not fat...” He held his finger up as he darted back into the en suite where you heard the running of water and him finishing his process. The water shut off and you could hear him grab the towel from the rail, presumably to wipe his face, considering he had white suds dripping down his chin. “...You’re pregnant”

He reappeared in the room, walking over and snaking his arms round your waist. “So i’m fat then?” You laughed, giving up your touch on your stomach to reach up and rest your arms atop his shoulders.

All he could do was chuckle, never having heard anything so absurd. You’d never be fat, but you’d always be beautiful. “You’re a baby maker, he gotta grow somewhere.”

You rolled your eyes, tip toeing upwards and pressing your lips to his to be greeted with the fresh mint taste you anticipated. “She.”

Humming into your touch in return, his fingers danced through your freshly brushed hair as he was pulled into your body, “your mom...” you started, giggling as he pulled away and shot you a confused glance.

“Why are you thinking of my mom while i’m tryna make out with you?”

“I’m thinking of your dad too.” You smirked, only trying to wind him up further.

“Ok, weird, stop...” He shuddered, screwing his face up in further confusion and disapproval. He searched your face for an answer, but you merely shrugged and walked away, pulling out your favourite shirt from the wardrobe and bringing it over your arms, you let it fall over your body.

Two overnight bags lay on the bed, only a few items thrown into them so far for your weekend trip to Shawn’s family home. “Do you wanna tell them tonight?” You asked, picking a couple more shirts from the wardrobes and finally some pants that would match.

He watched as you folded them delicately into your bag, “do you? I mean, it’s your body, it’s your choice.” It was killing Shawn alive to keep this from his parents, and more so Aaliyah, but with all the bad luck you’d had, you were sceptical of jinxing the situation. You thought it was most probably a myth, that telling people you were pregnant before the end of a certain trimester could cause bad luck, but it was a risk you wasn’t willing to take.

“It’s our choice,” you confirmed, walking back over to the wardrobe and pulling out a couple of t-shirts for Shawn and holding them up for his approval. With a nod, you threw them in his direction, and he attempted to fold them into his bag, not half as neatly as you had done. “I just know it’s killing you. And besides it’s nearly the end of my first trimester and it is your mom’s birthday...”

You held up a shirt, one you absolutely loved seeing Shawn in, but he screwed up his face and shook his head, so you put it back on the rail. “No pressure, we tell them when you’re ready.” You walked over with another shirt you’d picked for him, shaking your head at Shawn’s third attempt of folding his clothing. You remembered how after your third date, he brought you to his place for a drink and you saw how chaotically organised his suitcase was packed for going on tour. With a bottle of wine and some packing tips later, you both ended up falling asleep in his spare bedroom, organised piles of clothes all around you.

The more the hours in the day went by, the more you chewed your inner cheek in anxiousness. Driving to Shawns parent’s house felt like a lifetime but he silently tried to comfort you by holding your thigh as he drove. You didn’t know if you were going to tell them, you didn’t even know if you wanted to and you sighed at yourself again for letting it play over and over in your mind. “Bub?” Shawn squeezed your thigh and pulled you from your daydream, looking over at you as you came up to a red light.

“Mmhmm?” You didn’t know if Shawn could read your mind, as you thought about all the nice ways you’d seen over the internet of how people tell their parents they’re going to be nana and grandads. Here you were, thinking of ways to not tell them.

“Stop worrying about it, if we tell them, we tell them. If we don’t, we don’t.” You nodded, although you both knew it wouldn’t be the end of your concerns.

A few red lights later and a slow drive down the quiet lane, you’d reached the Mendes family house, heart warming as Aaliyah flung the door open and immediately ran to the car. Shawn had the best relationship with his sister and it gave you no doubt in your mind that he was going to be the best dad in the world. It was getting late, the traffic taking a toll on your arrival time and the party was already in full swing. Karen appeared in the door, two glasses of wine in hand and a beaming smile on her features. “Hello, my beautiful family,” she theatrically exclaimed, pulling you in for a huge hug as you both reached the doorway with Shawn holding both of your overnight bags and almost knocking the wine from her hands.

“Mom are you drunk already?” Shawn laughed, eyeing the 2 glasses of wine tight in her grip and watching how she stumbled down one of the steps and pushed her cheek outwards, inviting a kiss from Shawn.

“What? No! I’ve only had 1 glass..” She nodded, handing you one of the glasses and you politely smiled, thanking her. She whispered to you as Shawn walked into the house and he disappeared out of view, instantly getting lost in the music and big crowd of people. “I’ve had 3...” she giggled, pulling you inside as the two of you began to engage in conversation.

The party in full swing, Shawn had drunk your - 2 glasses of - wine when no one was looking with Karen handing you another glass which you’d had in your hand for at least 45 minutes when she walked over to bring you another. “Oh?” She questioned, looking at your still full glass as you stood with Shawn and his old family friends. “You love wine, why aren’t you drinking!”

You smiled and eyed Shawn, who instantly shot to your defence. “Mom, she’s not an alcoholic,” he said, and you all laughed it off, but as Karen stood with you and insisted you drank some of it with her, your heart beat out your chest and feet shuffled uncomfortably beneath you. “Mom... she doesn’t want to drink the wine.” Shawn said, pulling it out of your hand and putting it onto the side.

“Don’t speak for her, we’ve seen a fair few wine-drunk y/n’s in her time!” If that’s how she saw you, she most definitely wouldn’t think you’re fit to be a parent. She knew you and Shawn were trying, sure, but the more you thought about it, the more you’d actually never heard her say anything positive about it. Maybe catching Shawn arguing with her on the phone six or so months ago was about this. About you. About your inability to succeed in adult life.

Before anyone could blink, tense atmosphere filling the air between the small crowd as the rest of the unaware house guests continued to party, you darted up the stairs, rushing to the bathroom. Curled over the toilet and stomach tensing tightly, you were yet again reminded that morning sickness was not just for the mornings. Shawn was quick behind you, stroking your back like he always did and offering you a bottle of water he’d managed to grab en route to your side.

Once you felt it was out of your system, you leaned back, your bum sitting against the backs of your ankles as you shakily took the water from Shawn. “I’m sorry about my mom.”

“It’s okay,” you stopped to take another sip, the cold water relieving your dry mouth and the horrible taste that covered it, “I just don’t want her to see me as that person. It makes me feel like she thinks i’m going to be a bad mom...”

“You’re going to be a mom?!” A voice much higher than Shawn’s interrupted, both yours and Shawn’s head flying round to the door where Aaliyah could be seen in the crack.

“‘Liyah, what the fuck!” Shawn screamed, his younger sister repeatedly apologising, only insisting she came to see if you were okay.

Karen appeared in the doorway and once pushed further open, so did Manny, which only made you feel like a pathetic fool as the Mendes clan bickered around you. Shawn was shouting at Aaliyah for having no personal boundaries, whilst Aaliyah screamed back at him for leaving the door open in the first place, whilst Manny shouted at them both for shouting at each other, all whilst Karen ignored the trio and came down to your level, wiping the run mascara that surrounded your eyes. It was a scene from a comedy movie, two young adults fighting ridiculously, the father rolling his eyes at them both and unable to control their anger, and the mother identifying the source of the problem, which just so happened to be you. “Honey, i’m sorry if i upset you, so so sorry.”

“Karen, it’s okay, it’s not you.” You smiled, somewhat meaning it. It was you, really, your hormones were wild and emotions all over the place and boy, didn’t you know about it recently.

“It is, Manny always jokes i’m a cow when i’ve had some wine.”

Shawn stretched his hand out, offering it for you to take so he could help you up from the floor. Once you were straightened up, he repeated the offering to his mother, laughing at her as she stumbled due to the wine still flowing through her body. “Can we just all go back to normal?” Manny suggested, and Karen nodded having no idea what the meeting was about in the first place.

“Normal?! I can’t go back to normal when I just heard that y/n and Shawn are gonna be...” Shawn shot her a look, threatening his younger sibling without words but for once, you didn’t care that she was rambling, that she was going to spill, because that would take the weight off you.

Bickering yet again, the parents tried to speak over their supposedly grown up and adult children, “can someone please just tell us what is going on?!”

You sighed, knowing there was only one way out of this bathroom that would involve everyone making friends and getting along as normal. So when Aaliyah and Shawn simply returned to debating who was the right and wrong sibling, you cleared your throat and exclaimed with laughter, “oh my god!”

“I know! I don’t know how you live with this dumbass, and put with him and-”

Shaking you head and interrupting Aaliyah, who continued to torture her brother, you exclaimed to everyone in the room, all of them turning to face you at the most wonderful confession, “i’m pregnant!”

Another two weeks had flown by, the news of your pregnancy spreading far and wide and unintentionally - you broke instagram. Well, not specifically you, nor Shawn, but all the fans that were greeted with the news on the Saturday evening. The same saturday evening you were sat in Connor’s dining room, enjoying your elderflower presse whilst everyone else devoured the beer and wine. Shawn sipped his like he was 15 and was about to get busted by his mom and dad, despite you telling him to enjoy and drink enough for the both of you.

Mila had decided, that now she was turning 25 she should ditch the clubbing scene and opt for a sophisticated dinner party with her closest and dearest. Sophisticated it was not, jokes and tales getting spilt around the table like a bunch of teenagers playing never have I ever. “Man, that holiday, I swear Shawn and y/n did it, like, six times in one day!” Brain laughed, washing his claim down with another gulp of beer. You laughed and Shawn shouted, defending the two of you with everything he had left in him.

“Making a baby is harder than it seems in the movies!” He confessed, pushing his own beer away from him, not really interested in any form of alcoholic beverage, but more so in staying sensible for you.

Your hand fell under the table, reaching across just slightly to rest on his thigh. His body instantly stilled, bottom lip taken captive in between his teeth at your simple touch. Shawn was a sucker for secret public displays of affection, and of course, you knew that. More than ever, 12 weeks into your pregnancy and coming up the end of your first trimester, all you wanted to do was... well... Shawn.

The theory of your sex drive either noticeably increasing or decreasing during pregnancy was one of the many things you’d read in books and articles but was yet to experience it yourself. Up until this past week, where it severely peaked. Shawn had woken up twice with your body straddling his and lips peppering kisses down his body, until they reached a certain morning perkiness. He had payed you back just once, making himself late for a meeting to which of course he had absolutely no regrets.

The two of you were already significantly late to tonight’s party, hair slightly dishevelled and Shawn’s shirt more creased than first intended. You’d practically pinned him down with no other option than to satisfy your needs. He played on the fact you both shouldn’t have been late, but he was more than happy to skip the starter and have you instead.

He cleared his throat awkwardly as your hand cupped him through the material of his pants and you smirked as you felt it harden immediately. Leaning over and brushing against your ear as everyone else carried on their conversations, he whispered. “We’ll get going soon.” His arm fell to rest on the back of your chair, wrapping around your body as you moved into him, both of your chairs unable to be any closer. Brian commented on how sick it made him feel that two people could be so in love, but Mila shouted in your defence, telling him it was sweet.

Whilst continuous stories jumped from person to person, your hand remained in Shawn’s lap, brushing over her sensitive and needy covered cock every so often which only made him shift in his seat. “Meet me upstairs.” You whispered, standing up from your chair and placing your napkin on the table. Putting on your best queezy smile and letting your hand fall to your stomach, you spoke to the group. “Excuse me, guys, I’m just gonna have minute.”

No further questions were asked as you headed out of the room, making sure to smirk at Shawn one final time before you left completely. He gave it a couple of minutes, and he was about to excuse himself, when Mila asked if him if she should go check on you. “No, sit down birthday girl, I’ve got this. I’ve seen enough pregnancy sickness to last me a lifetime.” He joked as he scrapped his chair from under the table, hoping the hardness in his pants had died down in fear of giving away their secret bathroom date.

At the top of the stairs, in the room to the right, you touched up your lipstick and pushed your make up brush into your skin with a dabbing motion to blot away any oils. The door creaked open and you smiled as your curly haired boy appeared, grinning back as he shut the door behind him, of course making sure to switch the lock. “What’s gotten into you?” He raised his eyebrows as he walked over to you, hands finding your waist as you stared at you both in the mirror. Even when you’re in heels, he was notably taller than you, but he appreciated how he didn’t have to bend down as far to leave soft kisses on your skin. Your slinky dress was a thin material, spaghetti straps only just covering a tiny fraction of your shoulders and ending just above your knees further down your body.

There was nothing bad that Shawn thought about the sudden spike in your sex drive, he was still the 20 something year old guy who fancied the fuck out of his wife and he’d be crazy to turn her away and deny her of her pregnancy needs, right?

“Hopefully you.” You purred, trying to sound seductive but following it up with a laugh that most definitely made it more comical. Shawn never laughed though, as he dotted his lips across your shoulder and into the crook of your neck, grabbing a fistful of your hair in his hand and moving it out his loving path. *****A groan left your mouth and said hand came up to cover it, making you bite your lip to muffle your approving sounds. His ivory shirt was tight against his arms as he reached up and covered your lips with his large fingers and you adored how he flexed underneath it with each movement. You wriggled your ass playfully, nudging it backwards pushing your palms against the counter surface to steady yourself. His lips never left your skin as his hips pushed into you, covered areas causing a sexual friction that filled the room. If he wasn’t hard before, he most definitely was now.

One hand loosened on your mouth, allowing you to breathe heavily as you tried your best to stifle your moans. The other worked down your body, smoothing down the soft material of your dress until he reached the bottom hem. He made sure to connect his hands with your skin, pulling the dress up with his movement as he palmed back up your leg, stopping when he reached the curve of your ass that was barely covered by the most pathetic set of underwear he’d ever laid eyes on.

You let a moan slip as he grabbed a handful of you firmly, making you smirk beneath your bitten bottom lip. “Shh.” he hummed into your neck, eyes coming up only slightly to watch you in the mirror, admiring how your head was thrown back against him and neck begging to be taken by his hand.

Nodding clumsily, he continued to hike up your dress, letting it gather at your hips and he finally detached from your skin. He leant back, making sure he was still pushed against you and trapping your body in between his and the counter. You were bent slightly forward, back softly arched and hips writhing in an attempt to feel something against your aching core. He didn’t bother to stop you, only quickly reaching down to fiddle with the buckle of his belt and buttons, allowing his pants to fall down his legs. He left his boxers, for now, and returned to palming the skin of your derrière with eagerness. Squatting down, he came face to face with the asset he’d been focusing his hands on, slapping the inside of your thighs as instruction to widen them. Happily obliging, your heels clicked against the floor as you did so, hands no longer resting on the countertop but more so gripping it as you felt his breathe edge closer to your centre.

Your underwear, or lack of, was tugged down your legs and he helped you to lift each ankle as he pulled it over your heels, supporting your body and holding your weight. He scrunched them up and found the pocket of his pants, shoving them in as a personal souvenir. Just as you were about to moan at him for taking his time, his two middle fingers traced down your folds, a squeal echoing through your closed mouth as you tried to contain yourself. He stroked delicately, nudging your clit every other time until he was happy he’d spread your pre juices enough. And when he was happy, his fingers slid into you effortlessly, grabbing himself as they disappeared into you. He couldn’t bare the ache in his fully hardened length, wanting so desperately to skip the pleasantries and slip straight into taking you from behind. Sitting down, instead of awkwardly squatting beneath you, he also switched direction, so he snaked beneath your legs and his back rested against the counter you was facing. His hands reached around the back of your thighs, pulling you closer to his face without warning. Your desperate core brushed against his lips, hands tightening around the sink with white knuckles at the intimate contact.

It took everything in your to not scream out in pleasure. No amount of intimacy in your own home compared to sneaking away from a party and doing the dirty, much like you used to do in the past and you were forever grateful the spark had never died. You were thankful for his strong grip on the back of your thighs, legs shaking as his tongue caressed your folds from underneath you. He wanted to be beneath you forever, to have you squirming and panting just as you were in this moment. He’d never intended for it to be this... full on, when he came to find you in the bathroom. He thought it would maybe a quickie, a little tease, but something innocent and playful had turned into a lustful dream.

You braved your sudden move, removing one hand from the support of the sink and moved it down, grabbing a fistful of brown curls. The action was warmly welcomed, his tongue slipping deep into you almost causing your legs to buckle completely. The way Shawn made you feel, this far into your relationship was a feeling that could never be taken away; the way he loved you like it was the first and last time all rolled into one.

“God, I, I need you to...” you breathed, pausing and inhaling sharply when he tongue flicked over your nub, circling before he moved back to your swollen folds and your entrance “...get back up here.”

Before you could open your eyes well enough to stop seeing stars, he was back behind you, eyes full of lust and need. Your dress was still hunched around your hips, bottom half of your body bare to the air, although, not for long as shawn stepped forward and muffled his hardened area into the curve of your ass, the more prominent hardness pushing inbetween you. You moaned as the feeling of his briefs confirmed he was stilling donning his boxer shorts, desperate for the feel of skin on skin. He smirked as he pulled away, his boxers decorated with wetness that had gathered in between your legs. He also smirked when freed himself; boxers dropping to his ankles and throbbing cock bouncing free and nestling in between your legs, more specifically, between your needy centre.

Hips thrashing backwards, your peachy asset slapped against his rock-hard hips and you were taken by surprise when he grabbed tightly at your hips, stopping you from moving away. The feel of his cock rubbing through your folds caused a whimper as your eyes travelled up to look into the mirror in front of you both. His tall frame, compared to yours, which was half bent over the counter, looked heavenly as he toyed with you, rocking his hips so he rubbed against your throbbing area a few more times. When he decided he’d had enough of watching you quiver with pleasure beneath him, he reached his arm between you, wrapping fingers around his length and guiding it to your entrance.

With one swift motion, his hips fully pushed against your rear, cock sliding into you as you finally felt him fill you. Your head fell down, trying to control your rapid breathing and screams you so desperately wanted to spill, only just remembering a house full of guests were just a floor beneath you both. Shawn reached over to your neck, grabbing a fistful of your hair and yanking your head upwards, eyes burning into you through the mirror. You bit your bottom lip, smiling underneath, as he faintly smiled back, knocking down the barrier of his serious demeanour. Suddenly you felt more than thankful for the increased sex drive, thrilled by the pleasure and view all of which started and ended with Shawn.

Loud cries were threatening to leave your lips, Shawn’s hand having to take rightful place over your mouth every so often when he heard the sweet sound of your whimpers start to fall. Although, he was not one to talk, very much lost in the moment and the fact he was fucking you in his best friends bathroom, even though it would not be the first time. His grunts grew closer together with every thrust he made, his hips slapping against you with an echo to the room. You came to your high with a fistful of your hair in his hand and teeth sunk into your bottom lip, severely struggling to keep hush. He came to his high when he moved his hand to your mouth, his fingers dancing over your lips until you wrapped your plump and - ruined - lipsticked features around them. *****

And just like that, 30 minutes after entering the bathroom, you and Shawn laughed and joked in front of the mirror you’d literally just performed sexual acts in front of. “Is baby M okay?”

“Shawn, having your penis inside me does not affect the baby.” You laughed, yet again fixing your make up having felt like you’d only just done the same task. “And anyway, apparently closer to when you’re due, having sex is actually good for the whole process.”

“Good job we’ve started early then, isn’t it?”

“We never stopped.”

A small tap on the door put a stop to your giggles, and your hand covered your mouth like a naughty school girl. “Are you two okay? I’m concerned about you and i’m worried i’ve poisoned your baby with aubergine bake.” Mila’s muffled voice spoke through the door and you felt bad for making her feel so concerned. Shawn opened the door and you sat yourself down on the closed toilet seat, quickly ripping off some toilet roll and dabbing under your eyes. You felt evil, for going along with it really, but a pregnant lady gotta do what a pregnant lady gotta do.

Mila rushed over, her palm soothing over your back in order to try and be comforting. You had to stifle a laugh as Shawn reached into his pocket and eyebrows furrowed when his fingers grabbed a delicate material that he usually wouldn’t carry around in his pocket. Pulling out just a fraction of what you believed was your underwear, your lips pulled together in a thin line as Mila babbled on about getting you home and to bed. Shawn’s right eye dropped into a wink as he walked out of the room, tucking your lacey garment back into his pocket where no one could see it. You were already thinking about getting home, and how having no underwear on would be of great, great service. Damn hormones.

It was hard to concentrate on anything other than the flowers as you opened your eyes this morning, the bright yellow petals almost blinding you as the sun crept through the blinds and reflected off them. Beneath the vase was a small cup of pills, including your folic acid that you were instructed to take during pregnancy, and a note in which you immediately recognised the hand writing. You were slightly disappointed he had to leave early this morning, the sexual drive in you still being... higher than normal, but the flowers and note made up for his lack of presence, nonetheless.

happy 19 weeks, baby m is a mango this week!

take ur meds

appointment at 1.30, will pick you up for 1

love you :)

Whenever Shawn left before you, he made sure to leave your meds out, usually on your dressing table but today he’d opted for the bedroom side table with his thoughtful gift. Even if he hadn’t left the house before you, he would be constantly reminding you over breakfast, bringing you a glass of water so you had something to swallow them with. The birds were chirping as you pushed your feet into your cloudy slippers, arms stretching out as you braced yourself to stand up from the bed. It was more refreshing to get out of bed when came naturally as opposed to the past few weeks, where your morning sickness had you literally creeping up to usain bolt’s world record as you ran to the toilet. The sickness had almost vanished and you read that it was normal, that it usually did disappear by the 17 week mark. In place of the morning sickness, there was pains. And aches. And twinges. And niggles. And... more pain.

Your lower stomach gurgled as a stabbing sensation shot through and you tried to stroke it in comfort, although you were nowhere close to soothing the pain. Attempting to power through the inconvenience, you decided you must just be hungry, and proceeded to walk through to the bathroom to get a shower.

Craving of ice cream for breakfast and passion fruit martini’s we’re not that uncommon to you at this stage. Of course you couldn’t act upon the martini, but ice cream aplenty, you were trying your hardest to stay away from the freezer and head to the fruit bowl in the mornings. Despite the old saying, ‘you’re eating for two’ - which, in all honesty, was one of the things you was looking forward to - your doctor informed you that no extra calories were needed for intake until possibly around 6 months in.

You’d managed to lay in until 11am this morning, a very rare occasion for you as a general early bird, leaving you a couple of hours to play with until Shawn would be back to pick you up. Those two hours flew by, almost half of it being spent by procrastinating getting ready and watching modern family instead.

When you looked out the front window, only just having put your shoes on, the time was 12.58 exactly and Shawn’s range rover began to pull down the gravelled driveway. His eyes were covered by his ray bans, curls slightly ruffled as if he’d spent his morning running his hands through them, t shirt stopping just above his biceps to reveal a handful of tattoos. The sun glistened against his skin as he stepped out the vehicle, pulling the sunglasses from his face and looking up to see you swooning down on him, sending a blush to your cheeks.

“I’d shout honey I’m home, but you already know.” He laughed as he walked through the door, throwing his sunglasses and car keys onto the side table, walking over to where you stood on the bottom step.

The bottom step gave you extra height, almost enough to be eye level with him as your arms hooked over his shoulders. “As much as i’d love to stand here and listen to your smugness, we got a baby to go see.” He pressed his lips to yours before letting you snake from underneath him, feeling cold with your lack of presence already. The pain and uncomfort in your stomach had continued all morning, but maybe it was the nerves of going to the hospital or the fact you’d rejected your body of ice cream. Shawn was immediately concerned when your let out a small whimper and squinted your eyes shut, caressing your stomach.

“Hey, what’s up?” He met back up with you, hands coming to your hips as support for your aching figure.

“I think we’re just having a bit of an off day,” you forced a smile, although you knew Shawn wouldn’t buy it.

“Well good job we have an appointment then isn’t it.” He moved forward and let his lips push against your forehead, hands never leaving your lips as he left a tender kiss. “Let’s get going.”

You nodded in agreement, stomach twisting with a mixture of nerves and pain. “I’ll just pee first,” you told before walking to the downstairs bathroom, not far from the front door where Shawn stood, twirling his keys in his hands, clearly eager to get you to the hospital.

As soon as the bathroom door shut behind you, another whimper of pain left your lips and you was glad you managed to keep it in until you were out of Shawn’s watch. He worried, a lot, but only because he cared. “Come on baby, just behave for momma,” you whispered, speaking quietly to your stomach as you shuffled over to the toilet. Hooking your fingers through the belt loops of your jeans, you tugged them down, followed by your underwear. It was a process you’d become all too familiar with, baby using your bladder as a trampoline throughout most days. This time was different; your heart dropped and eyes pricked with tears as you looked down, seeing the sight of what you hadn’t seen in quite some time. “Shawn...” you managed, only half sure he’d actually heard you.

“Babe, we’re pushing it for time, can you hurry?” You could tell he was just the other side of the wooden door, voice loud and assertive. Your hand dipped to between your legs and you winced when you were met with more of what you didn’t want.

“Can... can you come in.” you whimpered, and from the tone of your voice he knew something wasn’t right and pulled the door open without hesitation. He saw you sat on the toilet, which was nothing new, but when his eyes wandered down and he saw the blood covering your underwear and hand pulling away from in between your thighs being covered with the same dark red fluid, his heart dropped like yours had one minute prior. Although he could see what was going on, unable to move and body frozen to the floor, you confirmed the situation with two simple words, “i’m bleeding.”

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