#but also i’m in pain and having a string of bad days and those were my last fuckin straws

[cicadaknight]

it’s now two days in a row i’ve been gently scolded for having earbuds in and using a chair for a job where i was doubled over a table erasing ink smudges and i immediately got weepy!!

[littleocean-rose]

Our Little Star

Summary: While walking on the way to a pet store to look for a kitten you want to adopt, you trace your hand over your soulmate tattoo on your wrist, the black ink reading one little word on your skin. Byeol. You stare at it, like you’ve done countless times in your life, wondering if you’ll ever meet your soulmate one day.

AU: non-idol, soulmate Pairings: Choi San x reader Warnings: none Word count: 2.1k

A/N: words cannot describe how many people I would kill for Byeol. I love her, I adore, I want to hold and kiss her, she is the most precious baby out there. San I love you but I WILL steal your cat. (jk I’m stealing you both-)

The world was full of different ways for people to meet their soulmate.

Some had it easy. Seeing each other in their dreams, able to communicate their names and location to the other. Dreamers had it the easiest by far, followed by Inkers. Inkers had the ability to communicate to their soulmate by writing on their skin, the words and marks appearing on the others’ skin, allowing them to write down names and numbers and locations. Visionaries were the third lucky ones, getting to see a glimpse of what their soulmate was seeing every now and then, taking in the scenery of where they were, what they were doing.

Others weren’t so lucky. Stringers had that little red thread attached to their pinkies, leading them to their soulmate, but never knowing how close they were to them. For all they knew, that little red string could run across an entire continent or over an ocean. All they knew was what direction their soulmate was in. Phrasers and Tattooists also had it hard. They could go their entire lives without ever meeting their soulmate, hoping to find someone with a matching tattoo, or listening desperately for the words that matched the ink on their skin. Colorists were among that class, too—their world monotone and grey until they finally laid eyes upon their soulmate, their world suddenly bursting into color the moment they found their other half.

Then there were the unlucky ones. Counters, those with timers on their wrists, were ones you always felt bad for. While some times Counters had their timers counting down until the moment they met their soulmate, others had timers that counted down until the moment their soulmate died. There were those who felt their soulmate’s pain, or shared the same wounds as them. Those who bloomed flowers from their skin, flowers that matched the emotions of what their soulmate was feeling. Signs you did in fact have a soulmate but were never given any indication of how they would know they even met them.

You were in the class of Phrasers, your soulmate mark being the first thing you would hear your soulmate say. Some had whole sentences, but you? You had a single word. Byeol. You remembered when you were a child how you obsessed over the word, looking up the definition and seeing it was of Korean origin. So growing up, you learned to speak Korean, studying it every moment you could, until you were fluent in it by the age of thirteen. Your parents encouraged you, just as eager as you to meet your soulmate, and when you hit the age of eighteen, they tearfully drove you to the airport so you could catch your flight to South Korea.

While they supported your decision, they still were sad to see you leaving to live in another country.

It wasn’t like you didn’t visit—you did every chance you could, which was usually every other year, but you were still their only child, and they missed always seeing you in person.

But here you were, nearly seven years later, and you still hadn’t met your soulmate. While it did dampen your spirits, you decided to stop trying so hard to find them. Not because you were quitting and giving up on the idea, no. What was the point of stressing over it? You’d leave it to Fate—if you found them, hey, great! If not, then, well, that didn’t mean you couldn’t start a romance with someone else.

You glanced down at the word again, fingers tracing over the ink as you walked into the pet store. You had recently moved into a new apartment so you could be closer to your job, and you were beyond ecstatic to discover it was a pet friendly home. Wasting no time, you had run out of the house first thing after breakfast on your day off to get yourself a new little companion. While you were originally planning to get one from a shelter, it was on the other side of the city, and you didn’t feel up for the long journey.

Instantly you went to the pets section, face lighting up at the cute animals in their enclosures. You went by the birds, taking a moment to admire their pretty plumage and beautiful songs, and then past the fluffy bunnies. You passed by mice next, stopping to watch them run through their little tubes, and then stopped to watch one of the hamsters run on his wheel. Of course you had to stop and look at the puppies, cooing at how adorable they were, watching them tumble over each other as they played. You had thought about getting a puppy, but in the end you just couldn’t pass up the idea of getting a kitten.

Which was why you were now in front of the cat enclosures. You took the time to look over each cat, aww-ing over their adorable little faces and fuzzy paws that reached out past the bars of their cages. There were some adult cats, a pretty calico catching your eye as you walked by, and then a cute tabby who seemed hyped on caffeine as he bounced off the walls, smacking around one of his toys and making you laugh. Then you reached the kitten area, and your heart melted.

They were at different stages of growth, some bordering on young teen, while others still seemed to wobble a little as they stood. One kitten in particular caught your eye. It was a siamese, large blue eyes staring up at you as it rolled over on its back with a long stretch and yawn, having just woke up from its nap.

One of the employees approached you, a wide smile pulling at his lips. You glanced at his name tag. Wooyoung. “Hello! Did you see someone you wanted to go say hi to?”

You nodded, pointing at the little siamese kitten. “Yeah, if that’s okay?”

The employee nodded. “Yeah, of course! Let me take you in.” Another employee passed the two of you, tall and blonde as he approached another customer that had also been looking at the cat display. You followed Wooyoung to the door where he unlocked it, letting you to get a closer look at the cats. As you entered, a barrage of mewls filled the room, and you couldn’t help but coo at how adorable they all sounded. “Hey guys, we have a visitor! Be on your best behaviors, okay?” Another series of meows filled the air, making the employee grin. “Anyway, go right on ahead and take a look! I’ll be right here to answer any questions you have!”

You thanked Wooyoung, starting with the cages at the back first. You heard the door open again, glancing over to see that same tall employee from earlier enter. “Hey, Yunho! Oh, another person interested in getting a– oh, it’s you again!” You tuned out their conversation, putting all your focus on the cats before you. An orange tabby, curled up into a ball, softly chittered in its sleep, and you nearly had to bite your fist from cooing as to not wake it up from its dream.

You looked over each cat, making your way slowly back to the siamese from earlier, until finally you were standing before its cage. It meowed softly at you, kneading the soft pillow it was sitting on. “She’s only been here a week, that one. She was left at our door in the middle of the night with her siblings in a box. The others have all found homes, she’s the only one left now.”

“Aww, that’s sad. At least they weren’t left on the side of the road or something,” you murmured. Wooyoung nodded.

“Yeah, I’m glad we could find them all good homes.” You heard quiet murmuring from behind you, the employee Yunho talking to his customer. Wooyoung gave a hum. “If you had to name her, what name would you give?”

You thought for a second, looking back into her big blue eyes. You swore you could see stars in her eyes, a hint of a pink galaxy, and one word came to mind. You smiled softly.

“Byeol.”

“Byeol.”

Your eyes widened, turning around to the other person who had uttered the word. Your focus landed on the other customer, his expression full of shock just like yours. At the same time you both looked down at your wrists, and with a quiet gasp you noticed that your soulmate tattoo was now red. This was him. This was your soulmate. After years of searching, you had finally found him.

You locked eyes with him, taking in his features as he did the same with you. His eyes reminded you of a cat’s, and at the corners of his excited smile were two adorable little dimples that you couldn’t look away from. His hair was pink, and you wondered if that had been the pink you had seen reflected in the kitten’s eyes earlier. You never thought you’d find someone who could rock pink hair so well, and it seemed you were proven wrong in the best way.

“Hi,” he breathed, smile growing, turning his eyes into cute little crescents. It was an absolutely adorable sight, your heart doing a little flip at it. You were sure your cheeks were a light pink, matching his, and you barely registered the fact that Wooyoung and Yunho were quietly squealing to themselves while watching the two of you.

“Hi,” you replied, cheeks hurting from how hard you were smiling. “So, Byeol, huh?”

The male grinned, chuckling lightly as he looked over at the kitten. “Yeah, I swear I saw stars in her eyes.”

“Me too…” You faded off, and the male sheepishly scratched at his neck.

“Sorry. San, my name is Choi San.” He held his hand out to you, and you spotted the red tattoo on his inner wrist. Byeol. You smiled again, taking his hand, noting how small and soft it was, and how perfectly yours fit in it.

You gave him your name, his eyes lighting up. “What a pretty name,” he murmured, cheeks flushing at realizing he said that out loud. You laughed, finding his behavior sweet, warmth blooming in your chest at knowing you’d probably get along with San just fine. He cleared his throat, motioning to the kitten. “Since you’re adopting her, I am demanding visiting rights.”

Amused, you fought down another smile, raising an eyebrow. “Oh? Demanding visiting rights?”

“That’s correct. I’ve had my eye on that little baby since yesterday, but it seems you unfortunately beat me to adopting her. So, therefore, I am demanding visiting rights.”

You gave a thoughtful hum, pretending to think over the decision. You could see San trying to fight down a smile as well, loving how you were playing along. You tapped your chin in thought. “Hm, I think I can allow that. How does Thursday sound?”

“Perfect,” he answered. He pulled out his phone, holding it out to you. “I’m going to need your contact information to know where the visiting rights will be held, and how to get ahold of you for said visits.”

You held out your phone for him to take as you took his. “Of course.” The both of you exchanged contact information, handing each other back your phones, and you couldn’t fight off the smile any more. “San, it’s been an absolute pleasure meeting you.”

“It really has been. I’m so glad I decided to wait until today to come back for Byeol.” He offered you a shy smile. “I’ll… text you later, then…?”

“Please, any time you want.” Your fingers traced over your tattoo. “I’ll see you Thursday the, Mister Choi. With Byeol in tow, of course.”

He laughed, the sound like music to your ears, and you decided you wanted to spend the rest of your life listening to it. He rubbed at his neck again, your eyes flickering over and spotting the smattering of freckles along his skin. Everything about him was so cute. “Alright then. I’ll see you Thursday.” San gave you a little wave as he left the room, and you waved back, watching him leave until he was out of sight. As you gave a happy sigh, the two employees beside you gave quiet squeals.

“Oh my god we must be matchmakers, I have never seen two soulmates meet before in my life!”

“That was so cute, I wanted to scream! You two are so cute!” You blushed at their words, ducking your head as you gave a shy laugh, thanking them. Wooyoung cooed over the moment a little longer before finally moving on to the adoption process for Byeol.

As you walked out the store with your new little friend, you found yourself smiling as you looked at the notification on your phone.

Sannie Hey~

Sannie Be careful with the little star now! She’s our fragile little baby after all!

You shook your head with a laugh.

You couldn’t wait until Thursday came around.

A/N: heeey! Don't worry, I'm still working on Guardians! It's just longer than I expected it to be, and motivation to write has been a little low lately. But! Here's my first tumblr post! Hope it was alright, please leave some feedback if you liked it!

Thank you, have a good night/day everyone! ♡

[princessfbi]

Mayhaps #21 for the one bed prompt, if it sparks something

21. "It's alright, I'm here."

The first couple of days weren’t so bad. Or maybe they weren’t so bad because everyone was already so on edge that when Eddie needed them, it was a relief to have something to do about the static kinetic energy sparking in their blood. Eddie mostly drifted, stringing together a few sentences for Christopher before someone ushered him away to preoccupy him from worrying about the way Eddie’s words would slur before he fell back asleep.

It was the fourth day that everything started to crash down into the hard reality. Eddie patience for the constant fussing eventually waned with his need for independence making him a little testier than usual. The others gave him space, hovering on his peripheral in case he wobbled.

Buck had a feeling Eddie locked his knees so he wouldn’t.

But Buck didn’t. Eddie could gripe and growl and bark all he wanted but Buck wasn’t going anywhere.

It hadn’t been the independence that had worried him. He got it. He’d been practically clawing at the walls when he’d been left alone in an empty brand new apartment with his leg wrapped in plaster and his arms too tired to hoist himself up onto his crutches. Honestly, Buck was more surprised that Eddie lasted as long as he did.

No, what had Buck worried about was that Eddie had wanted to start weening himself off the harder painkillers.

Buck got it. Sooner was better than later with that stuff and he’d found they only really helped you sleep more than anything else. But the fog of the drug never quite lifted when you were awake and all you could do was sit around and wait for the next dose.

But Buck also knew how much those drugs fought back when you started to cut them off and Buck understood how someone could so easily get addicted to them because all you wanted was for them to stop. The shakes, the anxiety, the way your blood would feel like it was going to vibrate out right beneath your skin. The way it felt like your body was a hostage. The nightmares.

He’d been waiting for those.

It wasn’t loud when it happened. Just some rustling fabric and a sharp inhalation that aborted the scream that would’ve been on the exhale if Eddie hadn’t gotten a hold of himself. Then quiet bitten off cursing as Buck quietly padded down the dark hallway to Eddie’s room.

“Eddie?” Buck called, purposefully making his footsteps louder so he didn’t startle him.

Buck didn’t think he succeeded because another noise fell that sounded like an ugly warped thing of a frustrated sigh and a pained sob stopped by Eddie’s teeth. Buck hurried into the room.

He couldn’t see him in the dark, just the silhouetted shape of his slumped shoulders and the wild tousle of bed head that always made Buck want to reach out and run his fingers through it.

“I’m okay,” Eddie said, half tangled in the sheet while he desperately squirmed to sit up. The two words sounded like they had gone through a shredder in his throat. “Go back to—”

Buck jumped forward as Eddie jolted with a hiss, his hand flying up to his shoulder where the stitches were still holding his skin together. Buck turned on the bed side light and knelt beside the bed, mindful of Eddie’s legs still twisted up in his blanket. Eddie’s teeth were digging into his lip to muffle his cry of pain with sweat seeping through his shirt and trailing down his temple. Pain, deep agonizing pain, was etched into Eddie’s face as he held his breath.

“It's alright. I'm here. Breathe through it, Eddie,” Buck said, grabbing one of the medicine bottles still sitting untouched where Buck had left them earlier. A whimper fell from Eddie’s lips and Buck somehow managed to keep his trembling fingers under control to open the medicine.

“No,” Eddie said when Buck held out a pill to him.

“It’s just the Tylenol. It’ll help,” Buck said. Buck half expected him to fight it. Eddie had been anything but cooperative the last couple of days.

But then Eddie shuddered and his eyes swam as he gave in. He popped the pill in his mouth, leaning into Buck as Buck helped him upright before uncapping the water and handing it to him.

Eddie drank once, twice, three times before he came up gasping and sagged into Buck’s shoulder like all his strings had been cut. Instinct was Buck’s only form of operation then, too tired and too worn thin to even be slightly freaked out at the way he could feel Eddie’s eyelashes fluttering against his throat. He curled his arm up and around him, smoothing his palm against his spine as he rubbed what he hoped were soothing circles.

“Nightmares?” He guessed from the trembling settling into Eddie’s shoulders.

A dark humorless laugh fell from Eddie like a broken gasp. “Yeah. The warning label wasn’t kidding.”

Buck didn’t say that he wouldn’t have been surprised if it wasn’t just the meds to blame. He certainly didn’t have any narcotics to blame for his own nightmares.

Eddie let out a broken breath that sounded like it’d been knocked against all his ribs.

“Sorry,” Eddie said. “I didn’t—”

“I’ve been there, remember? I’ve got your back.” Buck dug the heel of his palm into his back until he felt the tension in Eddie’s muscles fade away.

He would’ve stayed there all night if Eddie would’ve let him.

“I was… I was trying to go to the bathroom,” Eddie said and it sounded as quiet as a confessional.

“Let me help.” Another grumble and a spark of Eddie’s earlier annoyance made an appearance but Buck would take that over pain and fear any day. “Come on. Hold onto me.”

Eddie’s free arm curled around Buck’s neck with his other arm still strapped to his chest and Buck helped lift him more upright before turning so he could swing his legs to the side. It was slow and painful but Eddie was getting better and better at being able to stand upright without the threat of buckling on the first step. Buck busied himself with straightening Eddie's blankets and sheets while Eddie went to the restroom. The sounds of the faucet running longer than normal painted a picture of what Eddie was doing. Buck knew enough about nightmares to know the splashing of water against your too hot face only helped so much.

Buck turned around when Eddie shuffled back in and helped him into bed in reverse that time. The same arm curled around Buck's neck with Buck holding onto Eddie's hips to help guide him back down.

A huff of air escaped Eddie's lips the moment he was down and Buck could've sworn he felt Eddie's arm tighten like he didn't want to let go. But he did and Buck gave him space to rearrange his limbs under the covers until he found a comfortable spot.

"Need anything else?" Buck asked and he stared down at Eddie as he watched him war with himself again.

Again, nothing new. It wasn't in Eddie's nature to ask for help. Buck knew what he'd been getting himself into when he'd all but made camp on the Diazs' couch. He knew Eddie and he knew that Eddie was feeling vulnerable and stubborn which meant Buck had to anticipate and—

The hand that curled around Buck's wrist was so soft and warm.

"Will you... Please..." Eddie tore his eyes away and he almost looked angry with himself over something Buck didn't understand. He took a long measured breath that hissed through his nose. "I don't want to be alone."

Oh.

Buck's heart skipped a beat in his chest. "Ar-re you sure?"

Eddie's fingers dug into Buck's skin like he wanted to claw his way into Buck's very soul. He still wouldn't look at him.

"Please don't make me ask it again. I just... I..."

Instincts took over again and Buck didn't even think. He turned off the light and somehow managed to get Eddie to let him go long enough so he could climb onto the other side of the mattress. He was careful of jostling Eddie too much and tried to find a position that wouldn't crowd him. Eddie tolerated it for only a few seconds before he sagged against Buck's side and breathed for what sounded like the first time in ages.

Oh.

Send Me There's Only One Bed Prompts

[loopyren]

Chapter 474 made me want InuKag to break up (temporarily)

There's something that always bothered me about this chapter, but I finally have the words to explain what it is. (This is the one with Kaou, the weird sadness eating demon that made Inuyasha have a dream of Kikyo and cry blood and stuff.)

Sigh. I don't agree with how the ending of this chapter was written (sorry, Rumiko). It made me, an InuKagger, feel devastatingly frustrated about InuKag's relationship for the first time... specifically for Kagome's dignity.

Okay, so Inuyasha's thoughts basically got blasted on speakerphone in the previous Ch:

UM, HI? Kagome is RIGHT FUCKIN' THERE. God, at that point, for Kagome's sake, I had had enough of it. I love InuKag, but in this moment, I don't give a frank fuck what Inuyasha has done to prove he loves Kagome, or what he truly thinks — for Kagome to hear that is so. damn. hurtful. And you know those words had hurt her: they echoed in her mind in a later panel. And she cried.

Up until now, Inuyasha had been reaping the benefits of Kagome's patience. But Kagome is HURTING as much as he is, and she keeps choosing not to show him that side of her because she feels sorry for him… GAH!

KAGOME, I LOVE YOU!!! BUT CAN WE? NOT SPOIL INUYASHA TOO MUCH? PLS...

+

I don’t mind that it took a villain like Kaou for Inuyasha to find out how much Kagome was hurting because of him. Pretty gnarly. However, I'm upset that Kagome herself didn’t fully admit to Inuyasha how hurt she got. And she shut up Kaou before he could say that the "cause of her pain"... was Inuyasha.

I get it — her reasons were personal. But I cannot express how FREAKIN' disappointed I still was about that. Let Inuyasha find out, DAMN IT!!!

I know; Kikyo had just passed on. Kagome was trying to be considerate, and Inuyasha's guilt toward Kikyo was probably made raw again — so I'm not faulting him for his feelings at all. Truly, I understand he's having hard time. AT THE SAME TIME, REALISTICALLY SPEAKING, it is clear it was not healthy for him to be in a relationship with Kagome at that point. And likewise for Kagome.

I wanted Kagome to stand up for herself. When Inuyasha told her that he dreamed of Kikyo, I wanted her to tell him something like, "Hey, I know she's on your mind, and that's okay, really, but... I just don't think I can endure it right now."

How would Inuyasha react to that? He’d probably be disquieted, but I think he’d try to accept it.

Yes, I guess it could come off as "selfish," because Inuyasha is grieving and having a hard time. But look... Kagome is hurt. She had been withstanding it all this time... she had been selfless enough. It is not selfish; it’s an act of self-love. She is her own person, no? She's entitled to look out for herself too, regardless of the circumstances.

Strength is also knowing when to retreat.

Instead of this chapter ending on a jokey note, I truly wanted Kagome to put a pause on their relationship. Have a lil’ time-out. Let Inuyasha grieve for Kikyo properly. Let Kagome be free to feel whatever it is for herself, with no strings attached.

Then, they can reconcile later when they're both at a better place.

From a writer's standpoint, WOOWEE that would've been a great cliffhanger. Tune in next week! LOL (Ok tbh Inuyasha prob wouldn’t last more than 3 days or something before he wants to get back with Kagome LMAO… but at least he knows how Kagome truly feels.)

No matter how much I love InuKag, I recognize a bad situation when I see one. I really... wanted Takahashi to make Kagome take a stand for her own well being. Just this once. JUST THIS DAMN ONCE.

It may seem important to put others first… but man, give yourself some love, too, Kagome.

Sorry… maybe I’m getting too carried away. (I’m seeing too much of my past self in her here.) And who knows? Maybe Takahashi didn’t have time for them to break up, or did this to show that Kagome, still a teenager, doesn’t always make perfect decisions. At any rate, I think Kagome's weakness is being too understanding sometimes :(

[unreadpoppy]

Thank you for caring

Alistar x Fem! Cousland Warden

Read on AO3

Summary: Alistair is awoken in the middle of the night by the mabari war hound and the Warden is nowhere in sight.

A/N: This is something I had on my mind for a time since you can't really change the warden's hair through the game and I HC my warden having longer hair and my heart melts everytime i see Alistair and so I decided to write this. Also, this is my first time writing for Dragon Age so I hope it's ok.

Alistair’s sleep was interrupted by the sound of Anneliese’s hound, Buddy, whining next to him and nudging him with his snout. 

He tried to ignore it, turning around and murmuring “Five more minutes, Anneliese, and I’ll go.” In his sleep-addled state, he hadn’t realized that the Warden wasn’t nearby. It was only when Buddy gave a playful bite on his hand that Alistair woke up. 

“Ow, that hurt.” He said to the dog, clutching his hand. Buddy sat, whining and looking at him. “It’s the middle of the night, it’s not time to play.” He tried to reason with the mabari but the dog stayed. “Go to your owner, she-” He began telling Buddy to leave, looking around when he realized that Anneliese was nowhere to be seen. 

“Where is she?” Alistair whispered, making the dog bark in response. He stood up, walking to where the Warden usually slept, but she wasn’t there. He turned to the dog. “Buddy, can you find her?” 

The dog barked and began sniffing the ground, trying to find a trail. When it had seemed that he found a scent, he began running after it. Alistair, quickly grabbing his sword, following Buddy. 

As the two wandered through the forest near camp, Alistair started to think about what could have happened: had darkspawn kidnapped Anneliese to turn her into one of those horrid broodmothers? Did the Crows decide to send another assassin to finish Zevran’s job? Had Loghain's forces found them?

Buddy’s pace picked up when Alistair began hearing a string of swearing followed by groaning and moans of pain and irritation. It was when he heard a familiar “Fuck!” that he realized it was Anneliese that was talking. 

Alistair ran even faster, somehow outrunning the mabari war hound, trying to cut a clear path through a bunch of bushes and vines. Finally, he managed to burst through the woods, eyes close because of the thorny bushes, sword raised high and shouted “Don’t worry Anneliese, I’m going to-” 

He stopped himself as he opened his eyes and saw that he was in the middle of a clearing, with the Warden perfectly fine, sitting on a fallen tree trunk, her hair down and a brush in her hand. 

“Save you?” He finished his sentence, confused. Buddy then showed up behind him, barking when he saw his owner and running to her side. 

“What are you doing?” She asked, frowning. 

“I was-I, well….” He stumbled on his words, the blood rushing to his cheeks as he felt embarrassed. “Buddy woke me up and I noticed you weren’t in camp so I just-” He took a deep breath. “I got worried that something had happened. Something bad.” He said, a little quieter. 

He scratched the back of his head, and began looking down when she said “It’s alright.” She gave him a small smile. “It’s…sweet. That you cared.” 

Alistair looked up. “Of course. I care about you.” He said, and under the moonlight, he could see the blush forming on her face, as she turned to the mabari hound once again, her hair falling over her face. 

It was then that he realized that that was the first time he was seeing the Warden with her hair down. Ever since they had first met, back in Ostagar, Anneliese wore her hair up in the same two braided buns every single day. 

Now, as he looked at her, he noticed how long her hair was, cascading down to her lap in various waves - though he could not tell if they were natural or if it was due to her always wearing braids. Maybe it was due to the scenery of the Warden sitting there in the moonlight or maybe it was due to Alistair’s growing feelings for her, but he couldn’t help but think how beautiful her hair - no, how beautiful she was. 

He already knew that, as the same thought came to him everytime he saw her killing an enemy in battle, or when she smiled at him. But this was a different part of her that he hadn’t seen before - the one that wasn’t wearing heavy armor, with a constant frown on her face due to stress. In that moment, he saw her as the Lady Cousland, the person she had been before all of this began. 

“Maker’s breath.” Alistair whispered to himself, catching her attention. 

“Alistair, don’t just stand there.” She said. “Come sit with me.” 

He gulped, shaking his head and walked to her, sitting next to her on the tree trunk. From where he sat, he could see a pond in front of him, the moon reflected on its waters. 

“So…why did you come here?” He asked, after a moment, putting his sword down.. “I thought I had heard you swearing earlier.” 

She sighed. “I was trying to brush my hair but it’s been hard.” She showed him the hairbrush, with chunks of dark brown hair stuck to it. She started to pick them off. 

“And you had to come all the way here to do that?” Alistair said, raising a brow and crossing his arms. 

Anneliese shot him a look that, for a moment, made him scared for his life. But she shook her head, looked down and said “I didn’t want everyone to hear me struggling with that. I guess I didn’t account for Buddy to come after me. And you.” She petted the dog and whispered “I can kill an ogre three times my size but I can’t seem to tame my own hair.” 

“Do you want help with it?” Alistair proposed. 

“Is that your way of saying you want to brush my hair?” She said, with a raised brow. 

“Yes. I mean no. I mean -” She shut him off by handing him the brush and turning her back to him. Then he saw why she had been struggling so, as the back of her hair was very tangled - likely due to not being well cared for. “You start from the bottom and slowly make your way up.” She instructed him. 

Alistair took in a deep breath, and began doing so, gently holding the ends of her hair and brushing it. Truth be told, he had no experience doing such a thing, as his own hair was short enough that he didn’t have to think much about it, but he tried his best, going slow and careful as to not pull too much. 

The two stayed silent as Alistair managed to untangle her hair, the brush going through it easier each time. In this proximity, he noticed that her hair wasn’t black, as he used to think, but a very dark brown, and on the top of it, gray hairs were beginning to show. He frowned looking at them, as she was around the same age as him and shouldn’t be having so much of those on her head. He remembered once hearing Wynne speak about how stress can make one’s hair grow white, and he wondered if that was why the Warden always wore her in these buns, to try and hide how much gray there was - how much stress she was truly under. 

Buddy was sleeping in Anneliese’s lap, and she closed her eyes, enjoying the peacefulness of the moment. The repeated motion of Alistair combing her hair and the quiet of the night made the Warden begin humming a tune. 

“I never heard that song before.” He whispered. 

Anneliese took a deep breath. “My mother she…she used to sing this, whenever she combed my hair.” She said, bringing her knees under her chin and Alistair stopped what he was doing. “Usually, it was the maids who took care of it, but mother’s hand was always gentler.” 

She grew silent again, and a moment passed, until Alistair heard a sob. He stood up, walking around to sit in front of her, as she covered her face with her hands. At first, he felt unsure of what to do, as he was not used to people - and much less Anneliese - crying in front of him. 

But then he remembered all the times she comforted him, when he was upset over Duncan’s death and he tried to do the same as she did.

“It's alright.” He whispered and she looked at him. 

“I’m sorry.” She said in between sobs, and he reached a hand forward to wipe her tears. “You shouldn’t have to see me like this.” She sniffed. “I don’t want you to think poorly of me.”

He frowned. “What do you mean?” 

“I just- there’s so much to do and here I am, crying. Pathetic” She scoffed. 

“What? No, no, no.” Alistair said, his gaze softening. “I could never see you as that, not after all you’ve done for me - for everyone. You don’t need to apologize for having feelings.”

Anneliese took a deep breath and nodded, Buddy waking up and licking her face, bringing a chuckle from her. “Thanks, Buddy.” She sniffed and looked down. “I thought I was over it at this point but I guess I’m not.” She said. “I don’t think I’ll ever be.” Annelise looked at Alistair, who was staring at her. “I never even got to bury them.” She whispered, another tear falling down from her eye. 

He moved once again, sitting next to her, and she placed her head on his shoulder. 

“Maybe…maybe when all of this is done, we could do a funeral for them and for everyone else who was lost.” 

She knew he was referring to Duncan and all the other Gray Wardens lost in the Battle of Ostagar. “You say that as if you were sure we are going to survive.” 

Alistair looked down at her. “With you leading us? I have no doubt we’ll win.” He smiled. 

Instead of saying anything, Anneliese hugged him. He freezed for a moment, but returned the hug and she hummed satisfied. 

“Thank you, Alistair.” She whispered. “For what?” 

She looked at him. “For being you. For being here.” 

He looked into her green eyes, swearing he could see a sparkle in them. “Always.” 

Anneliese smiled and stood up. “I think we should head back to camp, catch a few more hours of sleep before the sun rises.” 

He nodded and stood up. Then, she offered her hand to him and tentatively, he held it in his much larger one. He breathed deeply as she led them out of the clearing, Buddy following behind.

[scribble-dribble-writes]

Loveless - (17)

<<<Prev Next>>>

---

Pairing: Namor x Shuri

Word Count: 1500

Warnings: none

---

Chapter 17

“You looked like you needed a break.”, he said slowly, unsure on how she would receive it.

He never had someone look out for him, someone who would share the crown or ease his pain. He picked up all his pieces on his own and put it back together in the way he could do best without having a person to show him how he needed to mould himself. So he wanted to do that for her, to give her rest and the little things he could never afford.

She held a shell in her hand, one he had collected long ago for it’s unusual color. She didn’t meet his gaze but instead posed a question. “And you?”, her eyes found his and he looked away.

“I’m fine.”, he mumbled.

She put away the shell and made her way to him. He didn’t want to talk about his thoughts, it would spread out like an oil spill to cause a mess when all he wanted to do today, was to keep it clean, to hold it together, so she can enjoy and relax. He was a hurricane, he won’t rain down on her.

“You come here often?”, the next question. “More so in the past month.”, he gripped the pliers as he bent a wire.

“What were you going to tell me by the river?”, her third question, one that pulled him out of his comfort zone. “That –

Her eyes were pinned on him, not with a compulsive need to know his next steps but with a pellet of concern. That when she saw him in settings like this, she felt he was just as lonely as her, alone in his mind. The rage that simmered every time he occupied her thoughts had now disappeared. As days passed and her grief settled, she began to understand her mother’s decision, why she chose to sacrifice her life to save Riri and her country. But it only tainted the love she had for her with anger, that she didn’t have to be so noble, that in the end no one thought of her. That the love they had for her would always come second to the one they had for their duty. But it contrasted against his story, he didn’t have anyone to think of him if he lost his throne. That without his people, he would be non existent.

His eyebrows knit together as he held himself back. Why was it so hard for him to make sense of this?

Why was it so difficult for him to learn to trust?

To believe in the possibility of change? He sighed.

He was fighting this. But in the comfort and privacy of this place, he could tell her his secrets.

“That maybe not all surface dwellers are bad.”, she heard him, her eyes snapping to see him engrossed in making an artefact.

“I still don’t trust the agent but when he vouched for you, I, I haven’t been able to think of anything else.”, this was almost like she was speaking to someone who had also changed along with her, she couldn’t feel the heat of his rage as when she did before, when she called him a mad man.

“Not all of us are trying to hurt you.”, she told him to which his gaze softened. “I know that now.”, he put away his tools.

“This is madness, is it not?”, he asked her and it struck her, how often he would say the words she had spoken about him, that he held those with more weight than what anyone else had ever said before.

“To even think someone like me can have hope to right his ways.”, he held his hands together.

“Its only because I spent time observing the love you share, that it taught me to the see the good in people.”, he told her. Her cheeks grew warm. She had to admit it to him. That his leadership style was one to learn from.

“I’ve learnt from you that it’s good to be aware of potential enemies. That Wakanda is not as safe as it seems.”, she smiled while he looked stunned.

“I didn’t think you would want to be anywhere near me after the example I had set.”, he laughed. Easy. Uncomplicated. Invisible strings pulling her closer to him.

“But please, no politics for today. I have had enough of it.”, he got up. She too had come here to escape it. But with politics being the only thing tying them together,

What else where they going to talk about?

“Today, is to runaway from all this for a while.”, he perused his stack of books. For the few hours he had of this alternate world he had created for himself, this feeling of home with her in it, he will not waste. Right this instant, he was just a painter and she was a scientist. “Do you want to see our maps of the ocean?”, he turned to ask her.

Hidden documents, never before seen inscriptions. This was what she thrived on. “Yes.”, she said without any hesitation.

He pulled out a big bundle, containing leaflets of papers and placed in on the carpet as he took a seat, she followed suit. The pages held diagrams with detailed connections of pathways from Talokan to other underwater cities. Places they needed to watch out for that teemed with people and in some cases monsters that she never knew existed. She flipped the pages, he explained the science behind his vibranium bracelets that controlled the currents. They were two kids on the library floor, looking for places to go.

“Do you always wear your crest?”, she asked pointing to the gold collar. He only ever removed it before he slept.

“Yes, it’s like your beads, except without all the advancements to it.”, he laughed as he put back his atlas. But when he turned, he watched as she removed her beads and placed in on the table next to her.

“We aren’t royalty for today.”, she smiled turning to see him. He had never been without his crest when he was with someone.

The object was his shell he hid behind, because without it, he was no one. She was testing him again only that this time she was waiting for him to choose. She was trying to understand if she could trust him again. He wiped his sweaty palm on his linen robe. His hands reached for the clasp behind his neck, nervous and thrilled at the same time. He pulled the lever and the metal hissed in the silence. He held on to the edges of the crest but his mind was fighting him, words his cousin said that he was giving away his authority. The others screaming that he was straying away from his purpose, from his vengence.

He wanted to be free of it, he closed his eyes. Images of him mother, tears threatening to wet his eyes. This crest was the reason he was even born. But much to it's importance in his life, he could never remember the day it was put on him. That since the moment he opened his eyes to understand the world around him, the crest was all he saw in his reflections, it's pressure over his shoulders reminding him of the one job he had to do. That there was no alternate path or choice, no one asked for his opinion, this was promised and so it was all he could ever be. This guardian and nothing else.

She watched as he struggled. His identity was tied to the object around his neck. Show him, her mother’s words echoed in her mind. So she walked towards him, as he stood there squeezing his eyes shut, not knowing whose voice to follow. “You are more than this mantle.”, she said

His eyes sprung open, she was standing right in front of him, her words cutting through the noise and the intangible wave of time, he searched her chocolate brown pupils that lured him in to let go of it all, “How can you continue to be kind after everything you’ve witnessed about me?”, he whispered, his chest heaving.

His emotions were breaking through, he reached out, his knuckles tracing the rise of her cheek. He had held unknown treasures in this hand, but she was the most marvellous creation he had ever touched. She stayed, her eyes pinned on him.

“After everything I’ve done.”, he whispered. He could feel it, his pieces beginning to break that he had held together for so long. He dropped his hand, hovering over the place he had stabbed her. His mind contorting in guilt, that he wasn't worthy to stand here, in front of her.

“After I’ve hurt you.”, his eyes found hers.

The edge of his eyes, began to glisten. She had only seen him this broken once before, the day she wanted him to beg for his life. Instead he gave up, he didn’t fight her, expect his eyes grew wet as he said he yielded.

“Because the world has taken far more from you, that all you were ever allowed to yearn for was revenge.”, her words, honey dripping on the wounds he kept hidden. He felt her hand wrap around his wrist as she tugged it closer, till it fit around her waist, over her wound.

“That everything you’ve done so far was for your people.”, her hands found the edge of his crest, holding it where his had slipped.

“All you’ve been is afraid for all these years, haven’t you?”, he didn’t have to speak, his blood rushed through his body, his eyes only focusing on hers, as though his mind and hers were connected.

She knew the motive behind his actions, that all he did was fueled out of fear. She raised the crest over his head, he let her, and with every passing second, he felt light, air filling his lungs to the brim. It passed over his head and he stood in front of her, feeling human, open and vulnerable. But it was the first time he could breath, feel the rhythm of his heart. He felt alive.

“Now you don’t have to be.”, she held the crest out to him as he took it, and with that it was done. She held his gaze, his fingers touching hers as the metal transferred into his hands and with that, she moved away.

But the touch of her warmth had burned in his heart, indenting her name in it forever.

---

Ladies and gentlemen, them 💖

Tags(💖💖💖💖):

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[a-mag-a-day]

MAG 59 - apple cutting

So about the episode title: I know a recluse is someone who lives a solitary life, but there is also a genus of spiders out there which is called recluse (for example, the brown recluse, probably the most famous one of those).

"I’d do things without actually deciding to do them. Like it was just muscle memory moving me, or a string gently guiding me." - <.<

"It was never bad or dangerous stuff, just… things I wouldn’t normally have done, like brushing my teeth." - Good guy Web.

"It felt like if you picked a line, any line, you could follow it through to the center, to some deep truth, if only your eye could keep track of the strands that had caught it." - This kind of sounds like the way Jon later describes the Web in S5, when he tries to See its plan.

This is actually only the second time the table itself makes an appearance in a statement. The box without the table was in MAG 8, but all the other times were within the Archives, it being delivered and talked about, OG!Sasha in Artefact Storage, Not!Sasha and Jon in Artefact Storage.

"Agnes came to the house two months before my birthday, in the middle of winter. Ray had never mentioned her, never held one of his little meetings to introduce her. She was just suddenly in the house one day, and no one really thought to question it." - Haha, just like Dawn suddenly being dropped as Buffy's younger teenage sister. There's most likely a lore reason for that in TMA as well, especially in a stronghold of the Web.

"Then, without warning, I wasn’t waiting anymore. I had turned around, put down my suitcase, and started walking back toward Raymond Fielding’s house. I didn’t want to go back." - Oh god, something like this happened to me once. It was some kind of sleepwalking. I could see everything I did through my eyes, just like normal, but had no control over my body. I stood up, out of bed and my room and down the stairs in complete darkness. I didn't want to, everything in me was like "oh no pls, I don't want to go downstairs". When I reached the end of the stairs I finally regained control and fled back into my room.

"Their bodies seemed warped and bloated in a way I didn’t recognize. But that’s only because at that point in my life, I had never before seen a spider egg sac." - Ha, like in Steven King's The Mist.

"Inside was an apple, green and fresh and still wet with morning dew. I knew I was going to eat it" - So that's how the Web fills people with spiders? Ivo Lensik in MAG 8 also found such an apple in that box and out came spiders.

"All at once, my cheek erupted in pain. It was like someone had pressed a hot branding iron into my face, and I could swear that I heard the flesh sizzle as I let out a scream and fell to my knees." - Thanks Agnes. Is this the first time we hear about the Desolation directly defeating the Web?

"I had willed it myself, and whatever power had been gripping me, tugging me into its web" - <.<

"But now they’re building there. They’re breaking ground that should be left burned and empty. And I’ve started to dream again." - God, I love this…

"Between Ronald Sinclair, Ivo Lensik, and Father Burroughs, it appears there’s still much to learn about Hill Top Road." - Well, there indeed is!

"Supplemental. Everyone’s avoiding me." - He sounds so sad :(

"They share furtive glances when they think I’m not looking. I don’t like it. I feel like they’re planning something." Oh boy, they ARE planning SOMETHING^^

Oh man that sleep walking experience sounds terrifying I hope you're okay 😳

Also hfjdjsmjdk I'm so happy I'm not the only one who noticed the web taking a break from its nefarious plans to force kids to... Brush their teeth. Somehow that's so funny to me.

Perhaps teeth are important to the web when it sends the spider filled victims out to the world to do its bidding when they need to seem friendly...

[s1mpa1]

Anime Moments that I still think about. . .

Spoilers ahead!

♡+: Fruits Basket :+♡

♡+: The Story of the Foolish Traveler :+♡

I can’t do this story justice, so I recommend listening to the story in either Fruits Basket (2001) or (2019). It’s one of those stories that leaves you thinking, and leaves this sort of feeling in your heart. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s definitely a short story that pulls the heart strings, and brings out a few tears.

♡+: Clannad :+♡

♡+:Akio’s Speech to Nagisa (Featuring Sanae, and Tomoya):+♡

“Your dreams became our dream! That’s what being a parent is! That’s what family is!”

One of the best father and daughter relationships I’ve seen ( from the anime’s that I have watched! ). I could go on about how much I love this man, and how he is as a father, but I’ll save that for another day.

+: Clannad:After Story +:

✩⃛∗ Ushio cries in the arms of Tomoya ∗✩⃛

Guys…this scene is a masterpiece. Did you cry? Because I did. After Story just has so many moments that makes you get emotional, but I gotta admit, this one scene…HIT. I still get teary eyed till this day. The music, the scenery, everything was just done so right. Watching Clannad was and still is, one of the best choices I’ve made in my 22 years of life. Go and watch it! Please!

+: Attack On Titan +:

⃛∗ Leaving the bodies behind ⃛∗

This whole scene BROKE ME. Everything about this episode was so well done, that it HURT. The bodies of the fallen soldiers helping the ones who were yet alive…how even in death, they saved their comrades. And how painful it was to see, that those bodies will now never be properly mourned by their loved ones. Those who were left alive, not only had to continue on with that, but they also had to face the people once they returned, just-ugh! So much many feelings going back and forth! This scene was and is by far one of the most impactful moments for me in AOT.

+: Orange +:

⃛∗ Suwa’s words to Kakeru ⃛∗

Suwa’s character is just so refreshing to me. While he and Kakeru were “rivals” for Naho’s love, he never once treated Kakeru in a bad way. He genuinely worried for him, and he genuinely enjoyed their time together. The way he approached Kakeru about his thoughts on dying, was just so well done. He comforted him with not only words, but he hugged him too. He even cried for him! My heart (*꒦ິ⌓꒦ີ)

+: Hetalia +:

✩⃛∗· America and Davie ·∗✩⃛

Due to Hetalia being a more comedy oriented anime, whenever there is a “serious” episode, they tend to leave a mark. If you’re a Hetalia fan, or a Hetalia enjoyer, you know or might know, what episodes I’m talking about! While watching America’s closet cleaning episodes, did bring some tears, the Davie episode hit. Hard.

To see little America experience life,still learning who and what he is, and how different his life is and will be, it’s just one of those moments where you’re hit with the fact that hey! They’re countries personified! They experience life way more differently than a normal human being! And this episode was one that reminded you that with a punch to the gut.

[best-beelieve]

It took months for him to tell me his name (6, I think?), and when he did I was so gobsmacked I just sat there. Tried to absorb the knowledge, tried hard to make sure I wasn’t talking to myself. Or someone else was fucking with me. I only had his word to go on, and I could only weigh that against my outspoken vow to never, ever have anything to do with him.

(Which … yeah I know that was just waving a big chunk of bloody meat at him. Bummer I didn’t figure that out before I just as loudly said the same thing about Odin. Fool me once it’s no surprise. Fool me twice … it really isn’t either. I’m not often the brightest bulb in the string.)

Anyway. Point being I just sat there with my metaphorical jaw hanging open and my wheels spinning fruitlessly until he said talk to [ ].

So I talked to them. Left a message, explained the situation, and, idk, did I ask for advice? I mean, yeah I’m sure I did, I just don’t remember how I asked. But whatever it was, their (paraphrased) reply was “Loki can give you back your life when someone/something tries to take it away.”

And that’s all it took. Those words changed everything for me because how the fuck could I resist such an idea? It was beyond temptation – at that point there was simply no other choice I could make.

~*~

Back in September I said I was going to be writing again, about him and for him. I was so wrong. What was a shining moment of hope, of light, that we could get back to where it started turned out to be just another oncoming train. The last four months haven’t been the worst of the last few years, but they were bad enough. Worse in all news ways, maybe that’s what it comes down to. Or maybe just worse because for a few bright, shining days I thought the darkness was past.

And here I am, back on the tracks once more. The light is so bright, I know it’s a train this time, but will it run me over, or stop and pick me up to take me to him?

~*~

Here’s another thing I’ve learned: hope hurts worse than despair.

I wonder what his take is on that. I wish I could ask him – which, I could, of course, there’s nothing stopping me … except knowing I won’t be able to hear his answer. Not now anyway. Maybe one day again. It’s hard to imagine it. Equally hard to imagine that September 22 will forever be the last time.

Sometimes I can feel him, off to the side somewhere, sitting on a fence, or a wall, stack of boxes, whatever is close enough for him to perch on. Waiting patiently for me to catch up. Watching me, chin in hand and eyes burning steady.

I don’t need to hear him to know he understands. He’s well acquainted with relentless physical pain, with deep mental and emotional trauma. Being bound by (and bound to) something in ways you can’t easily break free of.

Someone is whispering in my head right now. This time I’m pretty sure it’s just me - but I'm also pretty sure this would be his answer:

It doesn’t matter how much it hurts. You choose it anyway.

Because at the end of the day, any other choice is unthinkable.

But also because it’s the only one that will lead back to him.

[preraphaeliteknight]

I thought for a long time today about how I would rank the softest songs Taylor wrote for Joe after seeing your top 3. This is what I came up with:

1. peace - The ultimate. No notes…perfection. Give you a child line kills me dead.

2. Sweet Nothing - the response to peace. He loves her mind!

3. the lakes - I would put a lot of money on them living in the UK countryside in a mansion sized cottage someday. She wants it so bad.

4. Daylight - The juxtaposition to Red that takes my breathe away

5. New Year’s Day - This one has made me cry recently.

6. CIWYW - Made better by the video from Miss Americana. His initial around her neck! 🥹 Loves her like she’s brand new. Running away with her. Walking with his head down towards her (also comes up in Karma with the guy on the screen coming home to her - it’s so soft).

7. Lover - Not as soft as others. Super romantic. Gorgeous lyrics.

8. Invisible String - The lyrics don’t really make sense at times (what does a blue shirt from a yogurt shop have to do with fate?) but love that she believes they are meant to be together.

9. Labyrinth - He stopped her from crashing. I mean…🥺 This should probably be higher for me.

10. evermore - They wrote it together, he played piano on it, she thought she would always be in pain and he turned it around.

11. INTHAF - Love the friendship aspect of the relationship

12. SOTB - Beautiful in how she believes their relationship is so rare.

13. Cowboy Like Me - Forever is the sweetest con

And you are right, then there are other songs about him that aren’t soft but are amazing.

1. Delicate - The way she wrote this one just describes those first days of a relationship perfectly. She liked him so much. And then you have Joe who is essentially booty calling her. The balls of steel that Joseph had! You can tell this song means a lot to her when she performs it live.

2. Cornelia Street - Love how she describes the early days of their relationship and how much that house must have meant to her as they hid the relationship from the world. Power of nostalgia.

3. Cruel Summer - This has it all including looking up grinning like a devil. 🥵😈 I would probably be crying in the back of a car over Joe Alwyn too.

4. So It Goes… - No explanation needed. This song is smokin’ hot.

5. Dress - see #4. The bridge is soooooo good.

6. Paris - Great metaphor for their relationship. A bop of a song. Love the subtle change from her drawing a map on his bedroom ceiling to they were mapping it out together.

7. Mastermind - He’s smarter than you thought, Taylor! Good on her for not leaving it up to fate. He may be dating like Florence Pugh these days if she didn’t mastermind that shit.

8. King of My Heart - “Your love is a secret I’m hoping, dreaming, dying to keep.” - she just liked him so much!

9. Long Story Short - “And my waves meet your shore, ever and evermore…”beautiful.

10. Paper Rings - A bop. Love the visual of her jumping in after him into freezing cold water.

11. Lavender Haze - Good on them for ignoring the BS, but I have a tough time with this song after Lover. Like you told us you’ll marry him with Paper Rings and three years later it’s like how dare you all!!

This is a very good list, anon! 🫶🏻

A few thoughts:

The lyric about his uniform shirt in Invisible String is to tie their fates together and show how the string was there all along. She’s sitting on green grass and he’s in a teal shirt. Now, you can roll your eyes at this (she almost did herself in LPSS) but she’s a romantic! She believes they are meant to be and always have been!

The more I think about Labyrinth and “you would break your back to make me break a smile” the more it keeps climbing my Midnights ranking.

You’re proving your excellent taste by having So It Goes so high 🤌

I don’t think she’s saying “ugh marriage” in Lavender Haze though. She’s saying she’s frustrated with the people who wish to delegitimize their relationship based on whether or not their married. She’s criticizing the people who think they have a right to weigh in. So I don’t think the song contradicts anything she’s said on Lover/Paper rings actually.

[barrelcat]

Holiday Pickups 2022

Happy New Year!

A little late, but thought I’d share some pickups from right before Christmas to now. 

I’m very lucky to be a mod of a great writing community on discord and this is the second year that we’ve engaged in Secret Santa across the server. @grimbims, who was my Secret Santa, sent me Hades on the Switch! I was also delighted to discover that the physical copy of the game comes with a code for the soundtrack, as well as a small artbook featuring all of the game’s characters. It’s also my first roguelike (again, recalling that whole “broadening your gaming horizon” thing), and while Hades is difficult for my novice skills, it’s a terrible amount of fun. I’m not too bad at it, either. I favor the spear coupled with blessings from Artemis and have made it just past Asterius on Elysium, but that battle of attrition always leaves me struggling to survive afterward. 

Xenoblade Chronicles Definitive Edition is the other game I’m shuffling between right now. I had asked for XC3, but there was a mixup during my gifter’s order and I ended up with this one instead, which may secretly have been what I actually wanted. I know that XC3 is supposed to be amazing, but I like to get the whole story, even if the internet tells me that I don’t need to play 1 and 2 before diving in. I’m about twenty hours deep so far and can confidently say that I’m going to play it to the end. The world and premise are interesting, the characters and story are compelling, even if the dialogue is a bit painful at times (my writer's brain can be overly critical even at the best of times), and the gameplay loop is satisfying. It feels very MMO to me. As an avid FFXIV player, that’s only a good thing. 

I was excited for Harvestella the moment it debuted on the Nintendo Direct back in June of ‘22 (oh my gosh, is that really “back in” already???). Even though I’ve only dabbled in a handful of farming/life simulators, I’ve obsessed over the ones that I have played (minus Stardew Valley - I know, I’m awful, but it just never grabbed me like it did others. Conan Exiles, though? I lost days to that game.) The anime aesthetic coupled with farming and crafting in Harvestella spoke to me like a game hasn’t in a long, long time, and I knew I needed it as soon as it launched. This was later confirmed when I blasted through the Switch demo shortly after. As excited as I was, though, I’ve decided to set this one aside until I finish the first Xenoblade. Then I’ll discover what was really going on with those Seaslights. 

I played Fire Emblem: Three Houses for the first time just a couple months ago. The two weeks I poured into it were gone all too quickly, and while I told myself and friends that I wanted to do a replay for the other endings and storylines, I just couldn’t bring myself to betray Edelgard. After 70+ hours together, her character meant too much to me. Color me excited when I realized that Fire Emblem: Three Hopes was another story featuring those characters, but in the style of the Dynasty Warriors games. (Note: to be honest, I’m not sure what the deal is with the story, but I’m excited to find out!) So once I get to this one, I’m sure it’s going to be another non-stop ride. 

Not gifts per se, but I did pick up a Byleth amiibo with some Christmas Cash, as well as a copy of Fire Emblem Fates: Birthright for the 3DS from the local used game shop. I wanted to get a copy of an FE Fates game so I could download the third not-so-secret storyline to that series, Fire Emblem Fates: Revelations. If you didn’t know, the online shop for the 3DS (and the Wii U, I believe) are being shut down in March of 2023. Apart from purchases made before that date, nothing will be available on those marketplaces to buy or download. Part of a string of odd choices made by Nintendo, recently. 

I’ve been eyeing these books since the newest printing was announced sometime last year. Both volumes of the Encyclopaedia Eorzea are gazetteers of the world of FFXIV, and feature stunning art taken from the game. They’re filled to the brim with world lore, and remind me more of a D&D campaign guide than anything else. I have half a mind to use them to run a game set in Eorzea using these books as source material. Maybe then I can get my group to join me in the MMO. 

This mug is from Etsy and brings me immeasurable joy. It features a memed version of Gaius van Baelsar’s famous line from the end of FFXIV: A Realm Reborn and makes me cackle every time I read it. I actually received two of these in duplicate, a 16oz and a 12 oz. The larger has worked its way into my mug rotation (because we all have a thousand mugs at this point, right?), and the smaller has earned its place among my small-yet-growing FFXIV collection next to my handcrafted moogle (a birthday present from my sister). From his perch, Gaius will always be there to remind me to drink more coffee. 

Probably the coolest gift I received this year was an ocarina from the Nintendo 64 classic, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of time. I’m not sure if the picture does it justice, but the craftsmanship is stunning. The blue gloss is deep and shines wonderfully under light. It fits perfectly on the shelf with my other Zelda mementos. The box came with sheet music for several melodies from the game, so I’m definitely going to try and learn a couple tunes. Physical items from games like this are the best. I’ll admit, I have a soft spot for action figures, but having something tangible from a game world you’ve invested hours into is so, so cool. 

The final, and arguably largest, pickup for this update is a Nintendo Wii that I was able to find locally on CraigsList for a fantastic price! I didn’t have a Wii when I was younger (well, I did briefly… but that story might be for another time) and I’ve had one on my list for a while. Everything works, minus some battery acid damage on one of the Wii remotes, but I’m going to invest some time into repairing that soon. 

The seller lived about an hour away, so we met halfway at another used game shop that I hadn’t been to before. After the transaction, I popped inside to grab a couple games as well, including Nights: Journey of Dreams and SSX Blur. I read the Nights comics when I was kid, which were Sega and Archie Comics attempting to see if the series could survive the market. They didn’t, unfortunately, but they were a major influencer in my perhaps misguided desire to become a writer, so I’ve always wanted to try the games. As for SSX, Blur is the only one I haven’t played in the series. SSX Tricky on the GameCube was a gaming staple when I was a kid, so I couldn’t pass this one up when I found it. 

All in all, exciting additions to the collection with a lot of games to enjoy. 

[dreamingsushi]

Till the End of the Moon - Episode 24

Last episode, Ye Bingchang unknowningly showed her true colours to her husband and her sister who were listening to her being questioned by Tantai Jin while hiding. I really pity Xiao Lin, because he looks like a puppy abandoned by his master which is really sad. I hope he can get rid of his fake affections towards Ye Bingchang (unless it wasn’t because of the love string), but I’m afraid he might then lay his affections on Ye Xiwu. I doubt it, but still.

So this is going to be a long shot. Ye Bingchang swears her loyalty to Tantai Jin and says that she’s got nothing to do with Xiao Lin. Susu is surprised because they always seemed to get along so well. Then Tantai Jin asks why is Ye Qingyu there and he admits that he heard his sister and Pianran quarrel about the love string. They don’t want to explain, so Tantai Jin asks Ye Bingchang to confess or else he’ll have her test a new poison. So she admits that seven years ago, while walking, she stumbled upon a dying man that asked her to give back something to his lover since he couldn’t hold his promise to see her again. She goes to Pianrao’s house, but seeing how pretty she is and how she had a man love him that much, she gets jealous and opens the little bag holding the love string. She takes it for herself without ever telling Pianran about the death of Jiang Rao (Pianran’s lover). Tantai Jin’s hunch was right and he’s pretty mad about her doing such a thing. He uses his powers on her, Susu asks him not to kill her. While the love string is being extracted from her body, which seems very painful, Ye Bingchang sees Xiao Lin. Once the string is out, she says that none of his promises were true and that he made them only because of the love string. Tantai Jin gives back the love string to Pianran.

Ye Qingyu comforts Pianran. She waited a very long time for Jaing Rao to come back home. She looked for his corpse many years when she figured out he wouldn’t come back. And there he was, dead only a few steps away from home without her ever knowing until then. I really love this couple.

At night, Susu is tossing around in bed because she’s thinking of Ye Bingchang. She wonders if she wasn’t born from a concubine wether she would have gone the same path. Tantai Jin says that he couldn’t feel any emotions before because he didn’t have a love string. Now he wonders what it feels like to have one and comes into his arms to sleep, saying that it should be that kind of feeling, which is cute.

I almost forgot about Tantai Minglang. His army is almost ready. Three days left.

Both Pianran and Ye qingyu ask for a day off to Tantai Jin. He agrees. I love how he’s all in for that ship and is appalled at how dumb those two are. Well sir, until recently, you weren’t doing any better with Ye Xiwu, should I remind you!

Susu goes to see Xiao Lin in jail, with gifts from her family. She asks him what he’s planning and basically, he’s planning to die so the war can end. That is to put it simply because it is indeed a little more complicated. She promises to find a way to save him. To this point, I think that this is a very bad idea. Like, he is not your sect’s senior brother. Just take care of your mission. Also Tantai Jin still has doubts about your feelings for him, you claim that you like him, but then go behind his back like this. HOW DOES THAT SOUND LIKE A GOOD IDEA? Ugh. I think she’s focusing on saving too many people at the same time. Just make sure that the demon god never appears. Thank you. Then Xiao Lin tells her that he knows that she’s not the real Ye Xiwu. He won’t tell anyone else, he guessed it after the dream life they all shared. Also, as usual, Tantai Jin has her being tailed, so he knows that she went to see Xiao Lin and he’s pissed.

Grandma pays a visit to Ye Bingchang (she’s now working to wash clothes) and brings her nice stuff to eat and wear. She says that even though they heard what she did, they are family and won’t give up on her. She says that she was able to come see her thanks to Xiwu who asked and asked Tantai Jin. She also got her an ointment to protect her from the cold. Ye Bingchang asks to be able to go out for her mother’s memorial coming up. Grandma says she’ll ask Xiwu. You would think she would have nice thoughts about her sister, but once again, Ye Bingchang is blinded with jealousy. I kind of get it, because the real Ye Xiwu wasn’t so nice with her, but she really didn’t learn her lesson. All that happened wasn’t Ye Xiwu’s fault.

Ye qingyu was taking days off to look for Jiang Rao’s corpse. Pain Ran followed him and found him paying him his respects. Then she comes out and says she’s happy now and found someone to stay with her for a hundred years. Sad, touching. They move me those two.

Ye Bingchang is allowed to get out for her mother’s memorial. Ye Xiwu goes back home that same day to cook some porridge for Tantai Jin. It’s the last day for Xiao Lin so she needs to act now. Ye Bingchang causes a commotion outside so Ye Xiwu would come out of the kitchen. Meanwhile she puts something white and suspicious inside the porridge. Then she prepares a bowl. Later, when Susu comes back, she makes a bowl for Tantai Jin and also puts some powder inside, but it’s a sleeping powder. Then she tries to feed it to Tantai Jin, she refuses to taste it and goes to lie down. When a butterfly drinks a few sip of it, it dies soon after. Meanwhile Ye Bingchang feeds the poisoned porridge to grandma, saying that it was made by Ye Xiwu who told Bingchang to make sure grandma ate it all.

First of all, if Grandma dies because of Ye Bingchang, I’m going to be really upset. Even though this granny likes more one of her granddaughter, she has been nice and generous to Ye Bingchang, she doesn’t deserve being treated that way. I’m pretty sure her dad doesn’t even want to ever see her again, while granny gave her gifts. Begged for her to be able to come out for her mother’s memorial. This lady is precious. Also, it’s the beginning of too misunderstandings to come between Tantai Jin and Susu. Why is she meddling in stuff that she doesn’t need to? She should stop lying to Tantai Jin. Also, between when Susu and Xiao Lin talked in jail, I think 6 days went by? And prior to that, the army of Tantai Minglang was supposed to be ready in three days? so what’s happening with that? I feel like the few next episodes are going to be painful.

[shootsun]

I don't know if you are still taking prompts but if you are: Shadowpeach being soulmates in one of those soulmates au where it's really obvious to outsiders they're soulmates (red string, tattoo of each other's name, identical marks, glowing when touching, feeling each other pain, whatever) and yet both of them refuse to acknowledge it. Bonus if one honestly doesn't believe they actually are soulmates but used to think they were and the other is just in 50 layers of denial even back when they were friends

so. to preface this. i am an idiot who can't make up their mind on the best of days. As there was not a specific soulmates au chosen, i...picked all of them?

the idea being that the longer you don't accept your soulmate, the more the universe tries to point it out to you, until you're covered in matching marks, scars, glowing when touching, 'ink' that moves in the direction of your soulmate, handwriting, first and last words etc...

/this also doesn't have a happy ending.....(yet)..../

----------

“Have you met your soulmate?” MK asks one afternoon, and Wukong pauses mid-bite.

He tilts his head, his golden eyes unfocused as he thinks about all the evidence he has pointing him to his soulmate. The years and years of ignoring every string, letter and angry goose.

“I don’t have one.” He lies, and MK’s eyes widen for a second before he jumps up animatedly, his hands moving just as fast as his mouth. 

“But what about your string? And, and I’ve seen your palm- their handwriting is really-”

“I don’t have a soulmate, kid. All that junk about the string of fate and ink marks and all that first word garbage is just that. Garbage.” Wukong laughs mirthlessly. 

MK stands across from him, his face uncharacteristically serious. “If you ignore your first tie to your soulmate, the universe will give you another, and another, and another until you accept the bond.” He recites the first thing they teach kids, a lesson passed down generation after generation. 

MK looks down to the strings that are tied around his littlest finger. “And there’s more than one kind of soulmate.” 

Wukong sighs and steps forward, placing his hands on the kid’s shoulders. “Bud, I didn’t mean to be a downer or anything. I know I’m tied to somebody. But for all intents and purposes, I don’t have a soulmate because it would be a bad idea. You know the kind of life I lead.” 

MK frowns as Wukong continues, allowing a tinge of bravado into his voice. “I mean, I know, I know, who wouldn’t want me as a soulmate? I’m the Monkey King! But-”

“But you’re the Monkey King.” MK finishes. 

“Choosing just one soulmate would break all my fan’s hearts,” Wukong sighs dramatically, placing a hand on his chest. 

MK squints and hums out an unconvinced noise, but nods and drops it, thankfully. 

That night, after the kid had gone home, he passes a mirror and sees a flash of white fur in lieu of his gold. 

He stops and stares at the reflection peering back at him, and softly swears as he raises a hand to the glass. 

“Another one?” He mutters. A face he knows better than his own looks out at him and Wukong presses his fingers to his temples, trying to massage away the ache that compounded there. 

It takes him the rest of the night to get rid of all the mirrors in his hut, shoving the glass into an unused room in his ‘Shame Temple’ as he’d once lovingly dubbed it.       

Finally on his bed by maybe two in the morning, Wukong drops his glamorous for the first time in a century, unraveling layer after layer of magic. 

His hair unfurls, becoming a burnt caramel colour, and his eyes revert back to red as his claws and nails extend. His head brushes walls and he turns his gaze to his hands.

Macaque's handwriting covers his arms, his palms. The demon’s first words to him are scrawled across his right palm, (I’m a friend!) and his final words “Please don’t” have a single line through them on his left palm. Macaque’s half-finished grocery list spans from inner wrist to inner elbow, and Wukong raises an eye at the amount of food. 

“You couldn’t have written that on the back of a receipt or something?” He scowls, tracing out how the demon still smudges his handwriting when he’s in a hurry. Wukong raises his hand in the air, staring at how the words shimmer on his fur and then vanish, allowing the myriad of scars he’s collected to reveal themselves.

They have matching scars as well, a sign from three centuries ago - one from Macaque’s revival, and he lowers his hand to trail it over his face, feeling the puckered skin that crosses over his eye. 

Ink slithers across his fur, staining gold and white streaks a violet colour as Macaque moves around the city and the markings try to follow him. 

Wukong idly wonders if he confesses, accepts the bond and everything that comes with it, how many of the signs will leave - if any. 

The red string wrapped around his finger seems to heat up and he scoffs before turning over on his side. He can still remember the first time he tried to tell Macaque they were soulmates. 

The demon had laughed in his face and then told him to never joke about that again, even as Wukong had held up his hand and tried to entwine his and Macaque’s fingers. 

He hadn’t brought it up again, even as centuries passed, and with each one came a new sign of some sort, a blaring obvious sign, that they were soulmates. 

It’s ridiculous, and damn near overwhelming, just how many signs he has to deal with. 

Macaque ignored each one, or explained it away when anyone else brought it up, and by the time Wukong had waged havoc in heaven, he’d come to peace with it.

It was better anyways if he didn’t have anyone to worry about like that. At least, that's what he told himself.

That’s the lie he tries to tell himself again as he fails to go to sleep.

“Oh, fuck.” 

A gaggle of geese surround his lawn in an aggressive swarm of feathers and honking, all collectively swiving their evil little beaks in his direction and hissing in unison as soon as he steps onto his front porch. 

He can’t help it - he screams, his fur fluffing up as he leaps onto his somersault cloud, trying to escape the horde of demonic birds. 

The geese chase him into the city, to Macaque’s dojo, and Wukong doesn’t hesitate to dive through one of the windows of the building to escape one of the birds who got a little too close to his tail. 

He rolls to a stop, flat on his back in front of Macaque in his kitchen; the demon choking on his morning tea as he groans. 

“Wukong?” Macaque sputters, wiping tea from his chin. He’s still in his sleepwear, and Wukong thunks the back of his head on the floor before replying.

“Morning Liu’er.” His voice is tired, even to his ears, and Macaque frowns, his ears twitching.

“Do I want to know why there’s a fuckton of geese outside my dojo?” The demon asks, taking a sip from his mug as he waits for a response. 

“No.” Wukong doesn’t move as Macaque starts to walk towards him, and remains still even when the other nudges him in the side with his foot. 

When Macaque nudges him again, he ignores the dim purple glow emanating from under his fur as he sits up and swats at the demon.

The shadow monkey easily avoids his hands and steps backwards gracefully.

Wukong sighs and stands, brushing shards of glass off his clothes. 

“You’re my soulmate.” He says and watches as Macaque’s face closes off, any remnants of a teasing expression dying instantly.

“I told you not to joke about that,” Macaque’s voice is cold, and the demon makes to shoulder past him when Wukong snakes a hand out and presses the demon to the wall. 

“I wasn’t joking then, and I’m not joking now.” Wukong hisses. “I’d like to not be covered in reminders anymore, damn it.”

Macaque glares at him and snaps his teeth angrily. 

“What are you talking about?” The demon growls, trying to squirm out of Wukong’s hold. 

“When was the last time you dropped your glamours?” Wukong asks, and he rolls his shoulders back, allowing the heavy magic to drip away. 

Macaque sucks in a breath when he sees his scar on Wukong’s face, and then he lets his eyes travel to where Wukong’s hands are wrapped around his wrists.   

A purple glow seeps from Wukong’s palms, where they’ve met skin to skin, and the red string around each of their pinkies is the smallest it’s been in years. Black ink has slowly started seeping down Wukong’s forearms before finally settling on his fingers, staining the appendages.

“Your words, your scars, every time you move, it’s all mapped out on my skin.” Wukong leans forward and Macaque stares at him with wide eyes.

“You don’t wanna be soulmates? Fine. I’ve had centuries to get over it. But don’t lie to me, or yourself.” The god exhales, and slowly releases Macaque’s wrists. He turns, and is about to step away when arms wrap around his waist.   

“You’re a bastard.” Macaque mutters to his back. The demon presses his face into Wukong’s shoulder blades. 

There’s a shift in the air as Macaque drops his glamours, and a golden glow flickers to life, illuminating the room behind them. 

Wukong looks over his shoulder to see a familiar scar, white fur, and six glowing ears. 

His own handwriting coats Macaque’s palms, and swirling black ink finally convenes where his back meets Macaque’s chest.

“You’re my soulmate.” Macaque thumps his forehead against Wukong’s spine. 

The words hang in the air for a second, and then Wukong blinks. 

When his eyes open again, the red string is still tying them together, but Macaque’s handwriting has disappeared from his palms. He can’t feel ink sweeping across his fur anymore, and there’s no residual purple or golden glow. 

He reaches for his face, and the scar across his eye no longer carves through his cheek. 

“Can you leave now? The geese are gone.” Macaque steps back, and Wukong looks at him. 

His glamours are back up, and a scowl is plastered over his face, trying and failing to hide the tears that prickle at the corner of his eyes. 

“Mac-”

“I’ve accepted it. Now get out.” Macaque points to the window Wukong had busted through, and the god pauses before the window sill.

“In another life, I think we would’ve been happy.” 

[lilikags]

❥ synopsis; When you were younger, you had visited a fortune teller to help cure your sister. However, she had said that to cure her, on the year of her 19th birthday, you were to tie her string with her fated one's. Being tasked with finding which of two childhood friends you must tie your sister's red string of fate, you join their school as a teacher. However, upon arriving at the school, you meet a mysterious teacher who can also see the strings- who can cut them. Was there more to the strings than you initially imagined? ❥ pairing(s); kamisato ayato x gn reader ❥ tags/genres; red string of fate, drama, just a little violence, hospital scene, mentions of being drunk ❥ word count; 8.9k ❥ notes; this fic is for vera’s GENSHINTOON collab! Please check out all the other works here. And a very special thank you to Ze (@/reddriot), Cal (@/tartaglify), & brioche for helping out <3

“Yuki, get up!” you ripped the blanket off her, earning a whine and a “you’re so mean…”. It was like this every day, though you couldn’t blame her. After all, who enjoyed getting up in the morning so early just to go to a place called school? There weren’t many, really. You sighed as you left her room to give her time and space to get ready, while you helped prepare breakfast in the kitchen. Your parents were just about to head out as well, and you checked on their string. Perfectly healthy. Truth is, you’ve been able to see people’s red strings of fate ever since you were born. You’ve always kept an eye on your parents’, in fear that they’d ever have theirs snap, just like the many you’ve seen wherever you went. It was not an uncommon occurrence, surprisingly- and you didn’t need to really know them to see- you could just see the string break. It relieved you to see all these years with your parents having a healthy string, and sometimes it made you wonder about yours as well. Perhaps you’d meet someone soon… but that wasn’t the worry right now.

As Yuki entered the kitchen and you pretty much finished your piece of toast, you handed her hers, and told her to eat quickly before Toshiaki and Isao arrived to pick her up. Those were her two best friends, and they’ve been stuck to each other ever since they were too little to remember much. You were always older than them, and it was so cute to see the three of them hang out so often. Though, sometimes you tagged along too, so you knew them quite well- and when the two of them would knock on the door days in a row because they wanted to hang out with Yuki, you could never see a day without them nearby. Perhaps it was their proximity or their closeness to your family; you didn’t really know, but they were close to Yuki, and that was important.

“I’m heading out now; don’t forget to lock the door when you leave, ‘kay?” you asked Yuki as you put on your shoes and closed the door. She didn’t even respond; she was probably texting those two again. Maybe I should text her to make sure she actually locks the door since Mom and Dad already left…

When you arrived at your destination, you didn’t think you could actually be working there. A lot had to happen to make this your workplace, as this was really important, and you’re glad it got to work out. In all honesty, you thought you wouldn’t be coming back to this school until you realized you needed to come back. School was a pain, but at least you weren’t studying for hours on end anymore- though you felt bad for Yuki, who was still a student. Well, that is simply youth- studying.

When you were younger, Yuki got sick. Your parents went to many different doctors, but they could not determine the cause of the symptoms. As a last resort, they had taken the two of you to a fortune teller, and to cure her, she had told you, “On the year of this child’s 19th birthday, you must match her string with her fated one’s. This is the way to redeem your karma from your past life.” Thus, you had been tasked to tie your sister’s string with her fated partner. Except, you had no clue… You had told yourself that you had to wait until that year started, or else you’d mess up. You spent time reading romance novels and looking at the progression of other people’s strings. You didn’t dare touch theirs though, as you could have a huge impact on their lives- and you didn’t want to be responsible for that. You didn’t want to be responsible for such a huge part of Yuki’s life either, but you had no choice. What you did in your past life must’ve been horrible, even though you had no idea what it could have ever been.

You settled into your classroom, putting your drink where it usually goes and your laptop all set up. You took a moment to greet your co-workers in the staff’s lounge, where it was tradition to meet up in the morning and just have small talk. It was a great way to learn about people’s relationships and strings, so it was very useful. You’d often listen in on gossip and monitor their strings to learn about the correlations, though sometimes it wasn’t all that helpful or the same situation happened over and over again. Humans are similar wherever you go, you figured.

“Oh, good morning. Did you rest well?” one of them called out to you. He’s been nice to you ever since you’d been hired, and he even showed you around the school on your first day. His name was Mr. Kamisato… was it? He taught history, if you recalled correctly. He was good looking and kind, oh no one in this school could get enough- including you.

“Hey hey! What’s up!” Mr. Arataki yelled as he walked in. He was always the loudest here, not that it was a bad thing though. He taught physical education, and honestly, you wish you had him as a teacher. His classes actually seemed pretty fun and everyone loved him. Sometimes he lacked common sense just a little, but he was always able to keep everyone safe and having fun. The two of you had become friends right away; he was very sociable.

“Yes, I slept well. How about you, Mr. Kamisato?” you replied to him; you couldn’t remember his given name, though you vaguely remember him telling you to drop the formalities outside of class. You turned to Itto, too. “Nothing much, what’s on your end?”

“Haha, I got something real fun for the kids today, I spent all weekend coming up with a new game. You should drop by fourth period; I’m having the seniors test it out for me. I think your sister’s in that class too,” he said as he got a bottle of water from the cooler. You agreed to drop by if you didn’t have to sub in for another teacher’s class if there was an emergency, since you didn’t have too much work in the beginning of the year.

“I also slept well, thank you,” he gave you one of those smiles of his. Jeez, just how good was he at looking good? Should he have become a model instead? What was stopping him? You would’ve brought it up if you were close, but you didn’t know him too well just yet. “And please, drop the formalities and just call me Ayato.”

Oh, so that was his given name, how could I forget?

“Oh yes, sorry. I’m just… not used to it yet,” you awkwardly laughed it off.

“That’s quite alright,” he replied and set off to prepare to teach his first period class.

It was just about time for first period, so most of the teachers said their goodbyes until lunch, and you headed out too. You heard Itto with his “Alright, let’s get started now! Game time begins!” and laughed. He was always a funny guy. No one had arrived in your classroom just yet, and it was always nice to have a moment to yourself. You sipped your drink as you leaned back in your chair.

It was starting. Today was when you’d start trying to see who to tie her string with. It was probably Toshiaki or Isao, but if it wasn’t any of their strings, you might have to switch professions very quickly and become a detective instead. You hadn’t looked at it before, because you didn’t want to meddle with it. You wish you could let it all happen naturally, and if things went south, you could always help fix it up, but the time limit made that impossible.

You enjoyed your moment of peace before the students started piling in, with their own chaos and energy. You were like that once, though it’s been quite a while. It was so early in the morning; you wondered how they had that much energy to start off the day- perhaps it made you just a little jealous.

It wasn’t long until Yuki, Toshiaki and Isao came in, and you took a look at Yuki’s strings as they settled in their seats. Though, they were all huddled around one desk. You weren’t surprised; a lot of kids did that before class started. “What do you mean, you never did the homework? How are we supposed to finish the project if you never do your work?” you heard one of the students yell out. You were going to stop it, until you saw Yuki’s string.

There were two strings loosely attached: Toshiaki’s and Isao’s.

You’d never seen this before. This was going to be a much bigger challenge than you thought it would be. If only someone else you knew could also see the strings.

Oh, that’s right, Nakata was yelling… ugh, kids these days.

You quickly settled the dispute, before returning to your desk. First period was going to start in a few minutes. Once the bell rang, you started class. You were luckily able to have a good class first period; there weren’t a lot of disruptions. It would be too early to have rambunctious kids first period.

For the period, you kept your eye on the three of them. Though you’ve known them just about their entire lives, you had no idea who liked Yuki the way you wanted them to. Toshiaki lived right next door, and he’d come by for dinner once in a while, when he didn’t want to deal with his parents. They often pushed him to be ambitious, but he just wanted to fool around. He was smart; the top spots always went to him. He was talented like that, and even you were jealous- though anyone else would be too. It was such a waste of a talent if he just threw it away, but he should be able to enjoy his youth as well…

On the other hand, Isao lived a couple floors down, but he’d always come upstairs to play. His parents often left him on his own, so he found lots of things to keep him busy- which included playing with Toshiaki and Yuki. He came by almost every day, and your family welcomed him with open arms. Both of his parents worked a lot, and your family took care of him too when they weren’t out. When he was young, he developed a habit of baking cookies whenever he dropped by- which was a lot, actually- and you always had an abundance of cookies in the house. He actually bakes with Yuki on the weekends, and it was no surprise, with the amount of cookies they made, that they supplied all the cookies for multiple clubs’ bake sales. They were pretty much famous for their cookies in town, and you were so proud of both of them, making an impact on the community like that. Oh, that reminded you that you should tell him to write about that on his college applications as well.

You dismissed your class as the bell rang, and you waited until lunch to check up on Yuki. You had library duty today, because the librarian, Mrs. Ozawa, was out sick for the last week. So, a bunch of teachers offered to take lunch duty at the library for the week, and it was your turn today. Eating lunch in the teacher’s lounge sounded nice though, since you’d be able to see Ayato. (And no one could really resist that urge, not even you…)

You walked into the library with your lunch, and you sat at Mrs. Ozawa’s desk. It was actually a nice desk, nicer than yours. It had lots of space for you to have your lunch, and it was easy for you to see the desks where students sat and ate. It surprised you to see Yuki coming in with Toshiaki and Isao, and you waved to them as they took a seat.

“Wait, what, why are you here today? I thought you’d be eating in the teacher’s lounge?” Yuki asked, giving you that “you’re interrupting” glare.

“I have library duty; Mrs. Ozawa’s out, remember?” you reasoned.

“Oh- but go back, else I can’t focus,” she pouted. “We’re studying for your exam today.”

“I can’t just leave, you know? I’m officially on duty,” you sighed.

“What if I did bad on your exam? Huh?” she stood up and put her fists to her waist.

“That’s your fault then,” you sighed. Youth means being cheeky, huh.

“Do not worry, for I, the master of all academia, will assist you, my lady,” Toshiaki imitated a knight, which made the three of them laugh.

“Then I entrust her to you, Sir Toshiaki,” you laughed along with them and went along with your lunch.

You took another look at her strings, and as they studied together, it seemed Toshiaki’s string bound itself closer to Yuki’s? Or not- it was quite difficult to tell from earlier…

Yuki and the two boys had already headed home when school ended, but you had to stay for extra help. It was part of your job, after all. Well, that meant that the walk home would be time just for you, you supposed. You packed the things you needed to grade and prepare at home, and you headed out of the school.

You walked leisurely through town, and there were a lot of good bakeries on the way home. Perhaps you would get a snack for Yuki, but maybe Isao would’ve made her some. But maybe she would like some croissants, and those started to sound good for yourself too. You went and bought yourself some, but on your way out, you caught the glimpse of a string that caught your eye. You didn’t think much of it for a second, until it was cut. It happened all of a sudden, and you couldn’t understand what just happened. A string, being cut? You’d never seen that before; it looked like it was cut with a scissor, not snapped at all. The threads were cut as cleanly as possible.

You caught Yuki in the corner of your eye; she must’ve wanted some croissants, you figured. You expected Toshiaki behind her, to be teasing her over the impulse food purchases she loved to make. It was funny how he did that too, and he would never admit it. It was always the takoyaki that got him.

But you didn’t see Toshiaki behind her. Instead, you saw Mr. Kamisato- no, Ayato. What was he doing here- you’d never seen him in this part of town before. You could see his hand get closer to Yuki’s string, and in a split second, you grab his hand to stop him from touching it.

It dawned on you- he could see the strings? There was nothing else there to touch, though. Then, was he the one who cut the string earlier? You had never known anyone else who could see them, nonetheless cut them so cleanly.

You looked at him and realized that you were holding his hand.

“Oh, uhm, there was a bug, sorry,” you apologized. It was so awkward.

“That’s quite alright; I didn’t even notice. Thank you,” he bowed slightly before starting to make his way out.

“Wait- do you have a moment? Do you think we could talk about something- I, uhm, forgot to mention it earlier this morning,” you tried to keep him here. You needed answers, and if he cut Yuki’s string, you had no idea what could happen to her. She could get that incurable disease again; it didn't seem unlikely at all.

“Yuki, I already got croissants, here,” you handed the bag to her. “Go back home; I have something to discuss with Mr. Kamisato.”

“‘Kay, bye!” she turned around and waved, but you knew that expression meant that she was thinking about doing something you didn’t like. You would probably find out when you got home.

After Yuki had gone out of sight, you sighed.

“Alright, can we go somewhere more… secluded?” you asked, not wanting this conversation to really be heard. Barely anyone knew you could see the strings, and you didn’t want some random person passing by to know either.

“Yes, that sounds like a wonderful idea. Shall we sit outside Tasse de Lavande?” he suggested. It was on a busy street, but pretty much everyone just minded their own business, and at this time of year, many sat inside the cafe rather than outside.

“That sounds good,” you agreed.

The walk there was awkward, as the two of you weren’t really close, but it wasn’t really that bad. Time flew by quickly, and the waitress had you seated outside before you knew it. They handed a menu to you, and you figured you’d get something to drink while you were here. There was always good food and drinks here, and dealing with kids all day definitely left you a little hungry.

“Please, pick whichever you’d like. I can pay for this,” he said as he looked up from the menu.

“Huh? No, no, it’s alright. I can pay for myself-” he cut you off, that’s a bit unlike him…

“Please, allow me.”

“Alright, then, I shall accept your kindness, good sir.”

You couldn’t argue with him; it was simply a difficult task. He taught history, and being who he was, he probably learned how to win arguments about this specifically from all sorts of noble’s tales or something.

After the two of you ordered, you started your conversation about the strings. Surprisingly, he was the one who set the topic. You’d prepared yourself to be asking him, not him asking you.

“You can see people’s strings, yes? That’s why you stopped me,” he started.

“Yes, I’ve been able to see them too. And you’re the one who cut the string-”

“Yes…”

“Why did you do it?”

“It simply had to be done. If I had let it go longer, it would cause a lot more harm to both parties.”

“How could you tell?”

“Just a close look. I’ve been doing this for quite a long time now.”

He explained that he’s been able to cut the strings, and it was funny how you were able to tie them- just the exact opposite. It was surprising how he had such a good eye with these; apparently, he can see the strains on the strings, if they’re loosening on the inside. You had never noticed that, but looking around, you started to see it if you looked closely enough. It seemed he’d gone through or seen something like that before, with the way the conversation went melancholy at one point. You were meddling with people’s lives, but you could save them as much as injure them. Is this what vigilantes in hero movies felt? Perhaps so.

How he knew about this couple was his group, the Shuumatsuban. It sounded a lot like a ninja group, though that’s because he had created it when he was younger. It made sense, and the name was actually kind of cute. They were all observant people, and when the strings were straining, they would have Ayato cut them. You didn’t know how to feel about it, but the fact that it saved a lot of people heartache afterwards was comforting.

While all that was very enlightening, you were debating whether to ask for advice about Yuki and threads. After all, you’d met him only recently, and this was a major part of your life. But for that same reason, you could use all the help you could get.

“Oh my, I have to get going. It was lovely talking with you,” he waved after he set the money for the bill on the table, and he set off to do what he needed to do. You waved back and left as well, as the waitress collected the payment. You didn’t get to ask for advice, but at least you got to exchange contact info. At least, you’d be able to call him when you needed it.

The next day, you had library duty again. You didn’t mind at all, since maybe you could study some strings better. It was always better to study strings in a place like the library, where you could see them well and it wasn’t noisy or crowded. Plus, you had a great view from your desk.

Yuki didn’t appear; you saw her outside with Toshiaki and Isao outside the window along with a few of her other friends. It was good that she had more than just them. They were a little far out, and you were on library duty, not field duty, so you decided that you’d study the strings of someone in the library.

It wasn’t long until a student caught your eye. Her string was very clearly strained, and it was about to fall apart. It was really bad, and you sighed as you started to think. Some relationships don’t work out, and a time like this, you wished you could cut it yourself. If only Ayato was there to cut it…

You were looking at some other students, until you started to hear yelling from the student you were looking at earlier- the one with the strained string. She was yelling to someone you assumed was her boyfriend, and you had to stop her. After all, this was the library, and people shouldn’t be yelling at each other anyways.

“Alright, let’s stop there-” she cut you off, hitting you on purpose. The string was breaking now, ever so clearly. You’d only seen it snap when it was really bad, but this was terrible as well. The hit hurt, but not as much as seeing the string in such a state. It was in a horrifying condition, as if it had been slowly hit against a sharp object for a long time. Perhaps that happened to them, and you hated seeing that. You tried stopping both of them, and you definitely didn’t want to yell in the library. Other students looked on from the sides, which only made the two of them more aggressive and stressed. Of course, when a lot of people were watching a personal affair, you’d get irritated.

You were going to grab both of their hands, until you could see their string cut and suddenly calming down. They looked at Ayato- Mr. Kamisato to them- and it was completely silent in the library- aside from the sounds from outside. You looked at him too, as he was standing behind you.

“Ah, thank you so much, Mr. Kamisato. I owe you my thanks…” you turned to the students as well. “I’ll have to send the two of you to the Principal’s office.” Surprisingly, the two of them nod without resistance.

“Of course. Are you alright?” he took a look at your hand. It wasn’t injured, but you could tell it had been hit. Kids are strong these days, apparently.

“Oh, yes, I’ll be fine,” you gave him a smile as he headed back to his classroom, as lunch was about to end.

Really, that was the purpose of cutting the strings. You hadn’t really gotten it yesterday, but with this, it really left an impact on you. Cutting strings simply severed the emotional tie- and it represented the emotions of a relationship. Cutting that off would magically relieve both parties from the emotional distress of a strained thread, and it was suddenly more real to you, even though you’d seen something like this all your life.

After school, you checked on Yuki again. She was in the hallways without Toshiaki or Isao, so it was hard to see who the strings were connected to. It was a strange sight, actually. You looked at it closely while talking about what happened today, and you saw that one of the strings got more closely tied to hers. She’d studied with Toshiaki before your test, and she was very grateful that he helped her.

“If not, I really wouldn’t have passed the test. Really, I think you should tone it down with the open ended questions…” Yuki went on and on about the test… perhaps it was too hard? Well, that was another matter for later.

“You didn’t help at all, t-e-a-c-h-e-r,” she stuck her tongue out at you, and you laughed.

“Okay, okay, well, what do you want for dinner though?” you changed the subject. “Wait, I get to choose?”

“Yeah, since I’m cooking today.”

“Then, let’s have steak-” “If it’s on sale.”

“But you said I get to choose…”

While you were pretty sure it was Toshiaki’s string, especially because Isao’s been busy because of baseball, but you decided to drop by Toshiaki’s place just in case. He probably hadn’t eaten any snacks, and it wasn’t good for him to skip meals, especially when he’s still growing! You were so sure that he was still growing!

When you arrived at home, Yuki wanted to visit anyway. You’d bought croissants for him, which he always enjoys. Yuki munched on hers as you made your way next door, and since Yuki came so often they decided to just give her the code, she simply opened the door while you were talking to some other neighbors, a lovely old couple who owned a curry shop nearby, when you heard him yell, “What the hell, Yuki!”

You looked, and Yuki was already inside, and she was backing away as Toshiaki closed the door on her after she left. Yuki looked guilty as she sat herself at the table and you set the croissants there too.

“What happened?” you asked as you sat down.

“... Uh…” Yuki looked away. Toshiaki came out of his room, and he stormed over to the croissants.

“She jumped on me while I was changing,” he said, as he grumpily ate the croissants. Ah, so that was why he blushed earlier. You sighed and gave Yuki that look, the one that said, “Don’t do that ever again.” and she looked away.

“A-anyways…” Yuki started another conversation, and you sat back and relaxed. Kids need time to socialize, after all. You took this time to look at the strings, and it was indeed his string. Perhaps you’d found who Yuki was meant to be with, but Isao’s string was still very closely tied to hers. The year was far from over yet, so who knows, she might have a change of heart too. It was quite a wonder why it had to be you to have this job, not fate itself if it already knew…

“Yuki, let’s go buy ingredients for dinner. I’m dragging you with me,” you said as you got ready to go out, since your parents were working late today. You were assigned to cook dinner as the oldest child and adult, so you had the responsibility of getting dinner.

“Huh? Why do I have to go? Can’t you go by yourself?” she refused to get out of her bed. She never minded going out when either of those two rascal boys were with her, but as soon as it was just the two of you, she suddenly didn’t want to go. It wasn’t your fault that you were trying to make something she would like.

“Okay, you’re not having dinner today,” you declared. It was a joke, but the idea of getting dinner just for yourself was very appealing.

“Huh? No, no, no, I’m coming, I’m coming!” Yuki scrambled to get up and was out her door in seconds. Oh, the things food does to this person.

When you got to the grocery, you asked her what she wanted to eat for dinner, and she simply couldn’t decide. When you decided for yourself, she put that out of the picture. So rude; did she want dinner or not? She had decided on pasta, and you sighed in relief when she had finally picked something. The pasta she wanted was simple, so there wasn’t much to buy. Before you knew it, Yuki was complaining about how hungry she was and that you had to hurry cooking the pasta.

“Oh, hey, whatcha doing here?” you heard someone yell from a few meters away. You looked behind you to find Itto, racing towards the two of you and abruptly stopping beside you. He smiled and waved, like the friendly person he is. You were taken aback a little, but you laughed at the absurdity of his actions. He was just so cheerful like that.

“Hey, Itto, how about you?” you asked back, giving him a fistbump. He liked giving you one too, and he returned it.

“Nothin’ much! Just getting some dinner… my stomach’s growling hahaha,” he said, as his stomach growled. That’s so him.

“I hate my wife… I hate my wife so much… why must I be wed to such a woman…” you heard a man mumbling behind you. Itto looked behind too, confused for a moment. It was startling how close he was to you; you hoped he wouldn’t do anything to you or Yuki. He seemed drunk- though, as he got closer, you could tell that he really was drunk. He reeked of alcohol and even held a bottle in his hand. You gulped as you figured out that he might be targeting you or Yuki, and you subconsciously held onto Yuki.

“Huh?-” she said, as you gripped her arm. It wasn’t long before he suddenly attacked, in which even Itto was taken by surprise. He managed to hit Yuki, leaving her some scratches and even glass in her arm. You had tried to block it, and you had gotten yourself some scratches yourself as well. Itto stopped him after that, locking him down so he could no longer attack. He really was strong…

He would calm down if you cut his string, but it seemed Ayato was the only one who could do it. He could’ve resolved this really easily… Perhaps this was one of the reasons he was so determined to cut people’s ties. It was a debatable thing, but everything he described at the cafe made so much more sense, the more you thought about it.

You kept an eye on the string though, as the police arrived to take away the violent drunk man. Before you could notice the man who had just arrived, the string had been cut, and you looked up at Ayato. You release a sigh of relief as you see him, and he helps you up to talk to the policemen, as the ambulance came as well. You’d have to have a substitute for your class tomorrow, and hopefully you could have the time to set up some work for them to do… but that wasn’t important at the moment.

You gave your thanks to Itto and Ayato before being escorted into the hospital to get the two of you checked on, and your parents dropped by upon hearing the news. Thankfully, it wasn’t bad, though Yuki would have to stay a couple of days longer than you.

Not a surprise at all, Toshiaki and Isao rushed to the hospital when they heard this. The two of them slammed open the door, and when you told them, “Hey, hey, calm down.” they completely ignored you, those brats. As they huddled over Yuki’s bed, with their nagging, you got a call from Itto. You picked up as fast as you could.

“Are you okay?” you asked, worried that he might’ve been hurt from the incident.

“Nah, I’m all good. I should be the one asking you, though. You’re the one that got into the hospital.” That was true… you couldn’t deny it. “Oh, and Yuki too, she’s doing fine, right?” You laughed. “Yes, she’s alright. She’ll be here for a few more days, but it’s nothing serious.”

“That’s awesome… uh, someone’s calling me, so I have to go, but good luck!” he hung up before you could respond.

“Hey, you have to watch out. All ways. Left, right, front back, you have to be observant. You never know what happens…” Isao went on and on about safety. Honestly, you should be the one doing that, or even your parents, but everyone knew that Isao was enough. He had more than enough words to say for everyone around.

“Isa, you worry too much,” Toshiaki shook his head.

“I’m not! I just need to make sure this doesn’t happen again. Gotta drill this into her brain, that airhead,” Isao pouted.

“Guys, I’m really okay and it won’t happen again. Promise,” Yuki smiled, and the two of them sighed.

“Alright, I better be right to trust you on that. Anyways, if you’re better by Sunday, we’re gonna bake some cookies for the Charity Club’s fundraiser, yeah?” Isao asked.

“Yup, yup! More money for game funds, tehe,” Yuki responded. You could see that their strings strengthened, and perhaps his presence today cheered up her mood. She was really tired after that incident, though you could never blame her. Now you really had no clue which string was the right one…

On Sunday, you decided to stay home. It wasn’t that you had anywhere to be, in particular that you had to cancel, but you usually went out while they baked to give them some privacy- and you didn’t want to smell like cookies, anyways. They would always chase you out, and you’d learned to just leave beforehand.

As soon as Isao arrives, Yuki looks at you, “Hey, aren’t you going to leave?” You would usually say yes, but you stood your ground on the couch. “No, I’m staying here today.” “Why?” Yuki pouted.

“Because I want to. Am I not allowed to stay in my own home?” you crossed your arms.

“Must be nice, not being a busy person, unlike me, who just came out of the hospital, and am already baking cookies for another club’s bake sale,” she huffed, joining Isao, who had already started without her.

There were a lot of times you wished to have nothing to do, but now that you were actually feeling it, what were you supposed to do? You looked through social media, but nothing was interesting you as much as you thought it would. It wasn’t until they were arguing about who set the preheat temperature that you realized- you could ask Ayato about the Shuumatsuban and other things that he’s noticed about strings. You texted him, and you didn’t expect a response so quickly. Unlike last time, at the cafe, you were able to ask all the things you wanted to ask- though oftentimes, you tended to go on tangents. It was funny how easy it was to talk about anything with him. He always had that stupidly witty comment to any topic that you could bring up, even the most random of things.

He even added you to their Shuumatsuban group chat, and you met a child named Sayu. She couldn’t see strings like the two of you did, but she was very perceptive and told the group about any students' parents who might have strings that were about to break. You were surprised at how many they were able to get. You suddenly felt a lot closer to him, knowing so much about him than before. Knowing that he could see strings and him knowing you could see the strings too was one thing, but getting to know him as a person was a totally different thing.

Before you knew it, Isao and Yuki had almost finished the cookies, and you remembered what you were originally there for- checking on their strings. You wouldn't believe your eyes- Isao’s string was falling apart- literally. It wasn’t snapping in one place; it was loose from the inside out all throughout. You’d never seen anything like this before, and you were about to call Ayato from the couch before you remembered that the two of them would hear you- and you didn’t want to explain any of that to them- well, yet.

You moved to the balcony and shut the doors, and the two of them continued on with their baking, laughing as they had their conversations.

“Hello, Ayato?”

“Yes, I’m here. Can you describe what the string was like?”

“It was falling apart- from the inside. It was fading too, and it wasn’t as red as before… Does this mean he’s going to die?”

“Hm… No, strings turn white when the wearer is about to die. I believe that’s heartbreak.”

“Wha- heartbreak? Did he confess and get rejected or something? Because I really would’ve heard about it by now if it did-” “There are quite a lot of ways one can experience heartbreak. He most likely convinced himself it wouldn’t work out because of something unexpected-”

“Wait, but-”

You took a moment to think. Nothing was wrong with his parents, nor his grades, nor anything else you could think of. Ugh, that boy was way too good at lying.

“I have Isao in my class.”

“Oh, right, you do.”

“I think he’s moving somewhere soon.”

“Huh? I-”

“He’s been practicing another language in my class- I believe it was French.”

“Why-”

“Because he’s going to move there.”

“... You’re right.”

The two of you stand in comfortable silence, until Yuki calls you over, “If you want a cookie, get it now, else I’ll have 6 cookies and you get none!” The cookies were always good, and since you were done with your conversation, you figured it was time to hang up. Maybe it was your imagination, but perhaps he may have said goodbye before you did.

“Wow, I only get one?” you asked, while Yuki chomped down on the 5 cookies she set aside for herself.

“Yeah, deal with it,” she said before following Isao out the door to his place.

A couple of days later, you couldn’t deal with it anymore. Could Ayato have been right? He’s always surprisingly perceptive at just about anything, and if he was right, you’d have to give him the award of best guesser. It would be funny if you mailed a card that said “congratulations, you’re the best guesser in this town” to him.

You had told him that you had noticed something was wrong and was checking up on him, though you felt bad about taking credit for what Ayato had said. (You mentally apologized to him.) After making sure that Yuki wasn’t around, he had told you that his parents were breaking up, and he and his dad were moving to another country.

You knew this was a lot for him, and you honestly couldn’t really help him as much as you wish you could. You’d told him that you were here if he needed to talk, but you were given a nod instead, and you knew that you both knew what you meant. But it wasn’t long until Isao had started crying, and he went to his place to cry it all out. You let him go; he needed time to himself.

You were glad that Yuki was studying with Toshiaki on call right now. He lived next door, but he was out with his relatives at a family gathering. It was odd how he was helping her study even at a party, but perhaps that was just something a genius could do, you supposed.

That night, you called Ayato for advice. After all, he was the one who had predicted this, and frankly, he was the only one you could trust for this. Calling him wasn’t awkward anymore, surprisingly. You’d started to talk about anything and everything, and it was strangely comforting to talk to him.

“Hey, you’re still up?” you said as soon as he picked up.

“Yes, I’m grading exams, haha. Is anything wrong?”

You could hear the sound of his pen stop, and you sighed.

“Yes. You… were right.” you felt bad that you were telling someone he wasn’t even close to, but it had to do with Yuki’s string too, and you had no choice but to intervene. “His parents are divorcing, and he’s moving with his dad, probably to France, like you saw earlier.”

“Ah, I see…”

“Do you think we could cut it now?” You heard him draw his breath, when you realized that maybe you should let him be. “Or should we let him tell Yuki first?”

Ayato took a moment to respond. It wasn’t easy to make a decision like this, and you knew that very well.

“Let him tell Yuki first.”

He didn’t have to explain why. You understood. After all, Yuki could actually like him back and decide that they should have a long-distance relationship. He might still actually be the one she was fated to be. And if not, if she let him go, then you’d have Ayato cut it for him.

“... thank you.” you thanked him once again for his help, and he gave a soft “mhm” in return.

The urge to tell Yuki yourself has not dissipated. As much as you’d like for it to go away, the stronger it’d get. You even told yourself that you would do it to try reverse psychology, but it didn’t quite work either. You knew full well that it should be Isao that told Yuki, and you’ve actually already told him multiple times over. He knew it too, but acting on it was difficult. You got why, and you even cheered him on and made him laugh a little, but it was still a difficult process for him- and for you too, since it frustrated you to this extent. At one point, Yuki started to suspect something. She noticed something about you, which was surprising, because it really was about Isao. At least she could respect that you didn’t want to tell her- after all, it wasn’t your place at all- and you were glad she wouldn’t pry. You really just wished that Isao would tell her.

When you heard Yuki’s horribly loud sobbing, you knew what had happened. Few things could ever make her cry as such, and you knew that Isao had told her that he was moving. He wasn’t even sure that they could keep in touch, because his father wanted him to cut ties with his current life and become a new person, just like him. You wished you’d been able to cut his parents’ strings before it became this bad, but there was nothing you could do about it now.

As you see Yuki and Isao leave to have their emotional goodbye, you saw that his string grew brighter than before, and it had healed a little bit. Was it hope that she’d want a long-distance relationship? You couldn’t tell about that, but Yuki was definitely still in denial about it. He’d have to wait for her response; though without him, she’d take even longer to recover from this. You hoped that at least Toshiaki could help her.

Soon enough, you saw her rush next door, eager to share the news with Toshiaki. Yuki was never the type to hold such big news to herself; she had to let it out somewhere. You decided not to intervene; after all, it affected her a lot more than you. You didn’t think you’d be affected by this a lot- especially because lately, he had only been someone to pair Yuki up with.

You sighed as you made your way to your room, as you waited for Yuki to come back. You could probably go out together to buy something she liked- at least that would be just a little bit of consolation for her. As you laid back and sunk in your pillows, you felt your phone buzz. You knew who it was right away; who else would be calling you at such an hour besides Ayato? It was funny how he always seemed to know when something was up.

“How do you always know?” you sighed. He hadn’t even said anything yet, but it was already soothing to be on call with him.

“Just a feeling,” he laughed, just a little.

“Hey, that’s no fair.”

“Ahaha, you snooze, you lose.” He went silent for a moment afterwards. “Really, something happened, right?”

You sighed, “Yeah… it finally happened. Yuki’s in breakdown mode, and while Isao’s usually the one she goes to for recovery, he can’t really help her this time.” You tell him all about it, from the moment Isao told her to Yuki’s current predicament. You loved how he listened to every word you said, even how he let his breathing come through the phone. It was like he was right next to you, and you stuffed your head in your pillow as you finished talking.

“Mhm, I see… It’s best to simply wait it out, until she gives him an answer. If she says yes, then I will be happy to cut their string.”

“Though, why not now? Just asking…”

“When the string is strong and vibrant, it is very difficult to cut. It represents their love, remember? If we cut that so suddenly… it would end up having negative side effects.” He didn’t need to list them out. It was more common sense than you’d thought- heartbreak and even memory loss all made sense. You knew most of what he said already, but somehow, it didn’t hurt when he was telling you. It was more of an assurance.

Only a few days felt like weeks. Classes went by more slowly than usual, and Yuki even just packed some of her things and moved in with Toshiaki. It was a complete surprise, even after knowing her for so long. You knew she was dramatic, but not even to this extent.

“Toshiaki?” you knocked on his door, hoping to check in on Yuki. He opened the door and let you in. He only gave you a sigh, rather than the usual “Hey, what’s up?”. You followed him to the living room, where Yuki was engrossed in a video game. You were glad he knew what you were doing here. You sat beside your sister, who took a moment to realize you were there.

“Oh my gosh, you scared me!” she jumped as her brain registered that her sibling was sitting next to her. The two of you surprisingly hadn’t talked in a while.

“I am literally just sitting here.” you stated. It wasn’t wrong.

“Yeah, yeah, but you came in here so unexpectedly!” she pouted. She probably started to wonder why you were there, and she knew it was to hear your answer. She knew the news had reached you; after all, this was a small community, where you lived- and it wasn’t like you weren’t a stranger to Isao either.

Yuki took a deep breath and got on her phone. She must’ve not texted him already. You didn’t try to look over her shoulder; it’d probably bring too much pressure if you did, and you could probably learn about what she said later on. Seemingly forever after, she threw her phone at Toshiaki, who caught it perfectly. You had no idea why; it was an inside joke that you never understood.

Taking another deep breath and holding back some tears, Yuki told you, “We’re gonna keep being friends… and yeah, we’re gonna keep in touch, and if he doesn’t get back to me, I’ll find him! And smack him! But… I won’t get together with him.” You wanted to sigh in relief, but you would probably be questioned to no end by Yuki, so you left, telling her to text you what she wanted for dinner- and Toshiaki was invited too.

You ran to your room, eager to arrange a date to cut Isao and Yuki’s string. He replied surprisingly quickly, once again, and the two of you quietly rejoiced over the phone that Yuki’s fated partner had been found. The two of you decided that, in order to cut the strings, you’d have a party at a barbecue place that all of you liked, and you’d bring Ayato with you as a guest. Though, as for the reason Ayato would be there… the only thing you could think of was introducing him as your boyfriend, but that seemed outlandish. Surely, he wouldn’t like you back that much, right? Maybe? You would talk about it later, you supposed. You let Yuki stay at Toshiaki’s- after all, it was never an uncommon occurrence for her to stay over at either of their places.

The next day, you walk yourself over to 7-11, where you had agreed to meet up with Ayato. You didn’t know why it was chosen- he’d often joke about bringing you to a fancy place, but maybe he somehow knew that you liked some of the food there. You probably told him and forgot about it, though.

As you walked into the 7-11, you saw Ayato had reserved a table for the two of you, and you hurried to meet him. He was delighted to see you, and the two of you chatted away, almost forgetting about when you were going to try to cut the strings. After some discussion, the idea hit you: the place where you all would be at the same time was school. The best time would either be at lunch or after school, and you agreed that you’d both be there in case something happened.

Naturally, the two of you spoke about topic upon topic, until you found yourself with alcohol at your table. You had forgotten about how that had happened, but you weren’t going to back down on it. You could totally hold your liquor, if you tried. Anything's possible if you really tried. (Not really.)

It wasn’t long before you found yourself drunk, and Ayato offered to carry you home. You giggled as he picked you up onto his back, and you snuggled your head into his neck. It was warm and cozy.

“Y’know, you’re nice and warm.” you whispered.

“I’m glad you think so.” he replied, and you could see his smile as you lifted your head.

“Mhm, mhm, it would be nice to experience this forever.”

“And why is that?” “It’s because I love you. You’re so warm and comfy after all, hehe.”

It took a moment for him to respond, and you poked his cheek. “Mhm.” He planted a kiss on your forehead. “Now, let’s get you home.”

You had brought your keys to your home, and after a “Yeah, sure, go open it.” from you, he dropped you off on your bed, leaving a note that read:

Don’t forget to drink water and take a shower in the morning, my love.

— ayato k.

Unbeknownst to you until the next morning, Yuki had come back to get something. She was still staying over at Toshiaki’s place, but sometimes, when you basically lived over at two places, things got a little mixed up a little. She had intended to enter and leave without anyone knowing, but after seeing your door open, when it was usually closed, she decided to enter and found the note Ayato had sent. She laughed, stopping when you had moved in your sleep, realizing that she shouldn’t wake you up.

The next morning, the door slammed open. That was what woke you up, and you were greeted by a (loud) Yuki holding a glass of water. You thanked her, and she placed something on your head, rushing out the door. You picked it off, and to your surprise, it wasn’t from her. As you read it, you hurried to call Ayato. It took absolutely forever for him to pick up- though, that was just the case for you. He picked up about the same speed as every other time.

“Hello, were you able to sleep well?” you heard as soon as the ringing stopped.

“Yes, oh my gosh, uh, yeah, yesterday-” you struggled to get the words out.

“Ah, yesterday. Yes, I wasn’t able to say it last night, wasn’t I? I love you too, my dear.”

You put your hand to your mouth in shock. You had a vague memory of the night before, and you didn’t think that you had actually confessed like that.

“Goodness, I love you so much.”

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : lili’s notes…

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

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[devildomdisaster]

I’d like to request a body switching scenario with [Satan, Asmo, Beelz, Solomon, Simeon] and an Gender Neutral MC with undisclosed chronic health issues. Like brittle bones that break if you step a little goofy, stress ulcers, sensitivity to light, joint pain, poor stamina, etc. I just want to see the boys go “You live like this?!”

Satan:

Satan has a habit of collecting rare magical objects. Somehow quite a few of these cause body-switching incidents.

The cursed object causes the two of you to lose consciousness for a few minutes. When he wakes up he is in immediate pain.

His first thought is that the spell must have caused this and you must be in pain too! If he, a demon, is in this much pain it must be excruciating for a human.

He rushes to you or tries to. But falls to his knees in shock as a shooting pain runs through him.

He blinks watering eyes and sees his body stirring on the floor and realizes you’ve switched bodies.

You sit up feeling better than you’ve felt in years. Wondering if this is ‘normal’ or if that cursed object gave you super healing.

It’s only when you hear your own voice calling your name that you realize you and Satan have switched bodies.

You can see the tears in his(your body's) eyes and know exactly what's happening. You’ve had chronic pain for years. And Satan is sitting in just the right way to send shooting pain up your spine.

“Lay down on your back,” you order him. He has just enough control to follow your order and lower your body down slowly.

You can see Satan’s relief on your face as the pain eases slightly. It takes a moment for the worst of the pain to subside and his breath to even out.

He’s staring at the ceiling when he speaks, voice still a little shaky, “You live like this?”

You hum out a yes.

“All- all the time?” he asks, horrified.

“Sometimes it's worse than others. If I move or sit in certain ways it gets real bad. But if I avoid those movements it’s bearable.”

Satan turns to you “This is what you call bearable?!”

You shrug, “That position is usually pretty safe. So yeah probably.”

He is careful to move your body a little as possible as he shifts to point at a spellbook. “That book-”

“Are you going to change us back?” you ask.

“I-” he hesitates. Clearly not wanting you to be in pain again.

“Look, Satan it’s not that I don’t enjoy being pain-free. But I’ve dealt with it for years now. I’ve learned how to function around it. I had to. You on the other hand are going to be laying on the floor for most of the day if you stay in my body.”

“I’m going to find a way to fix you.” He says firmly as you place the book in his hands.

“Promises, promise,” you sing, preparing yourself to experience the pain in your body again.

“I mean it. As soon as I can move again I am going to find a way to help you. Devildom magic has to be better than human medicine.”

Asmo:

Asmo bought you matching bracelets. “Look Mc, I bought us these bracelets! They are supposed to bring us closer together!”

Well, they did bring you closer together. Just not in the way Asmo intended.

When he clasped the bracelets on, you felt a shiver go down your spine and when you opened your eyes you felt...different. Better. There was no aching pain. For once the dazzling lights of Asmo’s room didn’t cause you to wince. That's when you realize you’ve switched bodies.

Asmo on the other hand immediately cringed and squeezed his eyes closed, clutching his(your) head.

Asmo groaned pitifully, teary eyes squinting at you “Mc, how do you do anything like this??”

He curls up beneath his covers, and you make your way around his room turning off all the lights and closing his curtains. Once the light is gone, Asmo peers out from beneath the covers, “Do you live like this all the time?”

“Mostly, yeah.”

“No wonder your room is so dark. I thought you were just being dramatic.”

You shrug at him, “The Devildom is better than the human realm. There’s no bright sunlight here.”

Once the spell wears off, Asmo keeps the bracelet on both as a reminder of how you live with this chronic illness and as the intended purpose of showing how close the two of you are.

He buys you super dark glasses to try and filter out some of the bright light that bothers you.

and asks Solomon to help him find any magical treatments that might help you.

Beel:

Beel and you switch bodies after eating some of Solomon’s cooking.

Neither of you wants to eat Solomon’s cooking, but you had the misfortune to be the only two people who couldn’t find an excuse to get out of it.

Beel doesn’t know how it happened, Solomon doesn’t know how it happened, you sure as hell don’t know how this happened. But here you are with a strange magic ‘cake’ in hand, looking at your body from Beel’s eyes.

Your first thought is how strong you feel in Beel’s body. Like you could do anything. The exhaustion and joint pain you normally deal with is gone.

Is this how normal people live? Although you suppose a demon doesn’t count as a normal human, so it’s not such a good comparison.

You watch as Beel catches himself on the counter as he adjusts to the symptoms of your illness.

He lowers your body to the ground. Sitting gingerly as the movement causes the joint pain to flare.

“Mc, is this how you feel every day?” He is so so concerned about you! How do you function if you feel like this all the time? “Why haven’t you told anyone about this?”

“It’s ok, Beel. I’ve figured out how to deal with it.”

“It is not ok. Mc, we could have helped you!”

It’s strange to be lectured by your own voice and body. But Beel does a good job of it. He insists that you have to tell him when your symptoms act up and convinces you to let him speak with Lucifer about trying some magical treatments.

The potion doesn’t wear off for several hours. You feel a tad bit guilty about enjoying this when Beel is so obviously suffering, but you can’t remember the last time you felt so good. So capable.

Once the spell wears off Beel insists on carrying you around so you aren't as fatigued and to avoid aggravating your joint pain.

Be prepared for trying a string of different potions and spells to treat your illness, under the watchful eyes of Beel and Lucifer.

Solomon:

After hearing about Lucifer and Satan’s body-switching incident Solomon went looking for another cursed book.

He’d heard some rumor about Satan’s book having a twin and was determined to find it.

And find it he did.

You accidentally touched the book at the same time as him and switched bodies.

Solomon is more intrigued than anything else. “Do you live like this all the time? If so, you do a remarkable job of hiding it.”

He is going to test the limits of your body’s capabilities. He wants to know what situations cause pain or discomfort so that you can’t pretend to be ok when you aren’t.

You’ll have to warn him if he is doing anything that might permanently harm your body.

Unlike some of the others, Solomon doesn’t immediately look for a way to switch back.

When the spell wears off Solomon has a near-complete understanding of your condition. He knows what causes pain, what doesn’t, and what situations you should absolutely avoid.

“Mc, you need to stop pretending you are ok when you’re not. I’ll be here to help you when you need it. And if that help happens to be stopping you from doing foolish things to save face then so be it.”

Solomon keeps a close eye on you from now on. He respects you enough to not tell anyone about your condition if you don’t want him to, but he will also come up with the strangest excuses to remove you from activities he knows will aggravate your condition.

If there is magic that can be used to help you Solomon will find it. Just be prepared to feel a little bit like a lab rat while he figures out the perfect spell or potion to help you.

Simeon:

Simeon wants to know what it feels like to be human. He thinks it would give him a greater understanding of humanity.

He mentions this to Solomon, who being the chaos loving wizard he is, makes a potion to allow Simeon to switch bodies with you.

The problem occurs when Solomon 'forgets’ to tell you both that he’s already put the potion in your tea.

Simeon is shocked. He finds himself in your body. Looking at himself through your eyes. And by god does your body hurt!

“Mc, I’m dreadfully sorry, but I think Solomon’s little joke may have gone wrong. I-everything hurts.”

You blink at Simeon...er Simeon in your body. Mind taking a moment to catch up with the sudden body switch. You feel great. Part of that might be due to being in an angel's body, but mostly it's due to the lack of pain.

“Oh, everything's fine on my end. So it must be my chronic pain. It’s worse today than others.”

“Wh-what do you do when it’s bad?”

“Usually I try to distract myself. Or try to take a nap and hope I wake up feeling better. But we’d made plans and I didn’t want to cancel so…”

“So you decided to deal with extra pain for my sake? Oh, Mc. You should have told me you live like this. I can help”

“There’s no point, Simeon. Not a single doctor I’ve been to has found anything wrong with me. I didn’t want anyone here to pity me.”

“I am an angel, Mc. I’m quite sure I can do a bit more than your human doctors.”

You help Simeon to his room where you spend the afternoon watching human world movies to help distract him.

Simeon sleeps fitfully next to you and as you drift off you wonder if that is how you always look when you let your guard down enough to show your pain.

When the potion wears off you are both asleep, curled up next to each other.

When you wake up you are back in your own body. Simeon is sitting next to you slipping a charmed bracelet onto your wrist. “This is from the Celestial realm. It should help keep your pain at a more manageable level until I can find a more permanent solution.”

[emwritesstuff]

housesitting | bucky barnes x reader

summary: Housesitting for Steve Rogers has many perks. The man has the comfiest bed you’ve ever slept in; his coffee machine is top tier; and he also pays for every single streaming service you could think of, because he doesn’t wanna miss anything.

You can hardly see how Bucky Barnes stumbling into his apartment at 3 am with multiple wounds is one of them. But I guess it might be?

notes: this is my attempt at a more ~comedy centered one-shot, with some making out in the middle because uh, who doesn’t like that? In other news, reader is Chaotic. Canon mcu (Infinity War/Endgame) is non-existent in this.  (word count: 3K)

warnings: language, mentions of blood, gunshot wounds, general patching up shenanigans, some making out/grinding but not quite third base

[PART 2: breaking and entering]

Housesitting for Steve Rogers has many perks. The man has the comfiest bed you’ve ever slept in; his coffee machine is top tier; and he also pays for every single streaming service you could think of, because he doesn’t wanna miss anything. An old popsicle thing, you assume.

It’s peaceful, too. The neighborhood is nice and quiet, the other tenants are either extremely polite or too scared of Captain America to make much noise. You’ve had very nice stay-cations at his place, where you were free to choose to binge The Office while eating an entire pizza in the spam of 2 episodes or taking advantage of the quiet to write your grad-school thesis.

So when a loud BANG almost makes you drop your coffee mug on the floor, your spidey senses are immediately on alert. You don’t care how many times Peter insisted that it wasn’t a thing, your arm hairs stood up and your heart started hammering on your chest all the same.

You contemplate squeezing under the bed, turning off the show that was long abandoned and hiding until whatever it is goes away, but before you can do any of that, a string of sharp cursing and soft thumps and thuds snaps you out of your fear.

Maybe it’s a burglar. You could take a clumsy burglar, easy.

Now feeling like Tony had just welcomed you into the Avengers, you hop off Steve’s bed and let your baby Yoda socked feet carry you stealthily into the living room, holding a table lamp as if it was a baseball bat.

Everything is quiet, with no signs of forced entry at the door (you remember someone on Law and Order using those words), and in the dark you don’t notice the bloody trail coming from the kitchen.

You’re imagining things, then. When was the last time you slept? You don’t even feel tired, but you know sleep deprivation always gets you all kinds of crazy.

It happens the second your arm falls to your side and your posture shows the slight of relaxation. A strong arm around your neck and a hand against your mouth to muffle the screaming.

In the quiet of Steve’s apartment building, there is only you shrieking and howling and thrashing against the hold of a stranger.

“Don’t fuckin’ move.” You still.

And then you bite into the hand that is muting you, immediately regretting it when your teeth sink into something hard. Metal? Concrete? Ouch. You resume your resistance, determined, and is shoved away.

“Who the fuck are you?”

“Who the fuck are you.” His voice is gruff and dulled over the mask he is wearing, and as you’re taking this giant of a man in, you notice it.

The metal arm. The strapped leather jacket. The tortured blue eyes.

Winter Soldier.

The intruder is James “Bucky” Barnes, Steve’s best friend. That’s who the fuck it is.

“I’m Steve’s house sitter! I even have a key.” You say, with arms in front of you to signal no harm but inching closer to the table lamp with every step.

“House…sitter? Where’s Steve?”

“Who knows. Maybe a mission. He texts me, I come over.” You shrug, and put a chair back to where it was before it got knocked over.

“I don’t believe you. Where is Steve?”

“Listen, I don’t know, okay? I guess he’s just out for a few days. I don’t ask. He just lets me stay in here so I can water the plants and feed the Avengers.”

“The– the what?”

“The Avengers! The fish, see.” You point to the aquarium, where a handful of colorful fish swam peacefully in.

Peace. So much for your peace, because now what you have is a surly super soldier eyeing the fish tank like it was the most loathsome thing in the entire universe, except maybe for you.

“I hate this thing. Naming them makes it even worse.” He trudges back to the kitchen, stomping on the floor like he was on a parade.

So much for the other people’s peace, too.

“Hey! Sir. In case you haven’t noticed, it’s 3 in the fucking morning?” You sass, putting your hands on your hips when he retorts that yeah, he does know. “What are you even doing here?”

“Back from a mission.” He grumbles without looking at you, as if you’re the one who stumbled into his place in the middle of the night.

It wasn’t your place, but still.

“Don’t you have a house?” There’s a part of you that knows pushing the Winter Soldier’s buttons is asking for trouble, but your tired and confused brain decides to ignore it.

“You interrogating me? I need a motherfucking– ” He wheezes and nearly doubles over, holding on the door frame between the living room and the kitchen. You finally spot the blood, both on the tiles and seeping out of the Soldier’s jacket and pants.

He’s hurt. Shit.

“– first aid kit.”

“You need a motherfucking hospital!” You shrill, panic chilling your bones. You don’t do blood. Or any kind of wound, for that matter.

The man ignores you, opening up cabinets hastily. You huff, and walk past him to get to the actual home of the first aid kit. Steve’s oldest, closest friend and can’t even find a box with pharmaceutical supplies in his kitchen. You slam it on the counter next to him.

“You’re welcome.”

“Zip it.”

Just a look from him is enough to render you speechless, and not in the good, butterflies-in-your-stomach kind of way. You’re positive that one swat of that metal arm and you’ll be flying out of the window.

He begins by removing his mask, revealing a handsome face underneath, and you try your best to focus on how dark and menacing it looked while locked in that scowl of his. Then, he unbuckles his jacket and discards it on the floor, it coming to a stop next to your feet.

Oh man, he’s naked. Well, not really, just the incredibly toned, strong and muscular top half of him, but you stare wide-eyed as if he was.

“See somethin’ you like, doll?” He quips, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, and you turn your back to him, mostly to hide your own embarrassment.

“No.” You cross your arms resolutely, because you definitely don’t think he’s attractive. He is a rude, grumpy, private-property-invader-bastard. Doll. Yuck.

You hear a rumble come out of his chest. Is he laughing? Shithead. Other noises follow, wheezes, small grunts and the tinkle of metal on the marble counter.

A particular pained grunt makes you turn, and you see Barnes with his body twisted, trying to reach a bloody hole on his back. It would be funny if he wasn’t trying to poke a gunshot.

“Do you need… help?” You ask, against your own will, only to be met with his icy gaze.

“No.”

“Come on, you can’t even reach that.”

Another glare is shot your way, and you quirk your brow up. He did need the help, you think, because aside from the muscles and the sweat making him glisten like a delicious – wait what – glazed donut, the man looked like hell.

“…fine.” He slides a pair of surgical prongs, something you identify in your head as oversized tweezers, and you instantly regret your offer. Pressing an iodine-soaked cotton ball to a wound, sure. But not this.

He turns his back to you without a word, supporting himself on the marble. You think that he’s about to make a dent on the goddamn stone if he keeps holding onto it that hard.

“Ah, fuck. Shit. Fuck. Ugh, it’s so gross. Fuck.”

It’s the most horrifying thing you’ve ever done, but you try your best to get to the bullet quickly, so very thankful that Barnes holds himself perfectly still for you. “Got it!”

He lets out a long breath when you toss the prongs and the bullet on the counter with the rest and resumes his cleanup. So, he’s not even going to say thanks. Great.

You try not to think about how you still want to make conversation while you hurriedly scrub the blood from your hands, because aside from the hostility and him jumping on you as a meet-cute, the guy peeks your interest.

Steve has said Barnes is nice, too, and you believed Steve, because he’s basically incapable of lying. Or maybe because he’s pretty. Both, for sure.

With your hands now clean, you turn to him, mouth open with some kind of conversation starter that is immediately forgotten.

Oh man, he’s naked. For real this time.

Bucky Barnes has stepped out of his pants while you were overthinking by the sink, now standing in only a pair of black boxers. It’s like he feels you staring at his butt, because he turns to you with raised eyebrows.

“Last one’s on my thigh. I got it.” He’s holding the prongs this time, and you’re glad you don’t have to do anything, because your face next to that groin might make you go into spontaneous combustion.

“Yeah.”

He hums. You hope all of this is a fever dream.

“Isn’t there a med bay at–”

“Don’t like people prodding and pokin’ at me.” His comment makes you grimace. He’s the Winter Soldier, damn it. You know the stories, everyone does. Of course he doesn’t like being prodded.

He looks at you funny, probably because you went dead quiet. You don’t want him to think you feel pity, because you don’t, but god don’t you feel bad for poking him now, even if verbally.

“I’m gonna – grab one of Steve’s – uh. Dude you need to put some clothes on. Jesus.”

He laughs at you again, which you’re thankful for because anything is better than the awkwardness of the other subject. You pick up a black pair of sweatpants that was so deep in one of Steve’s drawers that you know he’d have to have bought it and never had the guts to put it on. This one would do just fine.

If there is one thing Steve Rogers isn’t, is a black sweats guy.

“Here.” You deposit the sweats and a white tee on the counter, one of the millions that you found inside the closet. Barnes was patching himself up now, bandages wrapped everywhere on his body.

Got his ass kicked good. You shudder when you imagine the state of the other guy.

He eyes the clothes, and saying nothing, returns to his task. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

“I didn’t ask you to help me.”

“Yeah, but I did anyways! ‘Cause I’m stupid, I guess.” You almost hurl a dirty plate at him when he scoffs, muttering a yeah, guess you are. “God, why are you so grumpy?”

“Well you try being shot 5 times and see how cheerful you are after.”

“You got shot 5 times?!”

Looking at you from between his brows, the Soldier nods to the five mangled bullets sitting on the counter. You think about how you’ve made yourself a sandwich just hours earlier on the exact same spot. You want to puke.

Taking time to look around yourself, you can finally grasp the state of Steve’s ever-so-pristine kitchen, now a mess of dirty clothes, blood and your own few dishes from the night before. You don’t even think about what you’re doing as you move, gathering every single cleaning supply you can find, and start working on the cleanup.

You’re struggling, because obviously you’ve never done this before. Anyone can tell, from your soft abdomen and your severe lack of muscle, that you’re not an Avenger. Sure, you work with them, but you’re usually neck deep into advanced tech, not in the gym by any means. Also, you don’t do blood.

That means you have to think about something else, anything else, while you’re manically cleaning the floor. One sheep, two sheep, three sheep, the Winter Soldier’s tight ass, four sheep, get it together goddamnit –

“Leave it. I’ll clean.”

You huff, he huffs back, and you look up at him.

“You got shot five times. Go sit down or something before you blow your back too, grandpa.” You call him that to assure yourself that he is old, like actually super old, and thirsting over him is weird. Even weirder when he’s all bandaged and bleeding. And still shirtless. Shit.

He mumbles something that you ignore, and stomps off. You think you actually did a pretty decent job with the cleaning, considering.

You need coffee. Definitely an entire bottle of vodka too, but there was no alcohol in this god’s good home, so you settle for the brew that you made earlier. You pour a mug for Barnes too, because you’re nice like that, and amble into the living room to find him slumped on a chair.

“Coffee?” You start, settling his mug on the table next to him.

“It’s almost 5 a.m.”

“Guess I’m up early for once. Maybe I should go for a run.”

He snorts, and opens one eye to inspect you from where he is. He reaches out for the coffee, using his metal hand, and you consider the two ways this could go.

He’d shatter the mug right then and there. Or, he’d throw it at you. Your jaw goes slack at what he actually does, sirens blaring loudly in your head. Truly astonishing, the most bewildering turn of events.

He drinks from it.

“Thanks. Quit staring at me.”

“Wow, Mr. Winter knows the magic words. Mr. Barnes. Sergeant?” You’re thinking aloud, abandoning any trace of sanity you’ve been holding. You even sit on the couch next to his armchair.

“It’s Bucky,”

Again, absolutely bewildering. You must be going insane.

“– and you talk too much.” He finishes, with an end-of-story tone, and returns to his rest. At least that felt like normality.

“Bucky. Bucky.” You roll the name on your tongue, feeling a weird buzz start to take over you. It grows stronger when you notice he’s looking at you, one brow quirked as if you lost your marbles. “You know, Bucky, this is definitely not how I saw my night going. Home invasion, playing surgeon – not my usual kind of fun.”

You get up, maybe because you decide that you – and Bucky – need a blanket, or maybe because you need a distraction from his chest going up and down like it’s got a business with making you want to touch it.

You’re not a slut, but who knows? Jim Halper would get it.

“You’re that kid, aren’t you? Stark’s assistant.” Bucky’s voice, low and husky, makes you jump. You look at him, your eyebrows furrowed slightly.

It’s surprising that he knows you, considering. He’s – well, he’s basically a celebrity, if ex-assassins could be considered that. You’re only Tony’s techie, and you and Bucky have never actually met, not even in the few parties you had attended to stop your boss from nagging you that you had to actually go out and have some fun sometimes, because you’re still young and cute and you need to enjoy yourself before you get saggy and bitter.

Jokes on him, you were born bitter.

“I’m no kid.”

“Nice socks.”

You wiggle your toes and it makes the ears of one of the baby Yodas move.

“Still not a kid! If you wanna be sad and wear your sad, plain socks, Bucky, that’s entirely your choice.” You said, pointing your index at him, making circles in the air with it to really get your point across.

Bucky smirks, and you go up to him with the two blankets on your arms. He’s blocking the door with that bulky body of his, and you raise your eyebrows quizzically.

“I’ll have you know – meeting Steve’s annoying, mouthy, pretty house sitter is not how I saw my night going either.” Bucky puts a doubtful tone on house sitter, as if he still doesn’t get exactly what it means.

You blink. You’re positive you heard it wrong. Is he… is this flirting?

“You think I’m pretty?”

“I called you annoying and mouthy too.”

“Yeah, I mean I know that much about me.” You chuckle, rolling your eyes. “The pretty part is new though.”

Bucky still hasn’t moved from the doorframe, and you find yourself staring up at him. He is inches away now, pupils blown wide in the darkness, and you can see a ring of steely blue around them. He licks his lips, and you’re drawn in.

The maelstrom in his eyes sends you spinning.

“I think someone should say you’re not see through, much less–”

Bucky shuts you up by pressing his lips onto yours, a slow, exploratory kiss, the tenderest he’s been all night. His metal hand rests on your lower back, making you shiver at the cool touch.

You’re all panting and eagerness when you cup his face with both hands and press your body against his. You need to deepen this kiss. You haven’t drooled over Bucky Barnes all night to keep things lovey-dovey.

He responds in earnest, pulling you closer. The flesh hand on the back of your neck is a stark contrast against the chill of the other. You and Bucky stumble from the corridor and back to the living room, knocking over a few of Steve’s decorations in the process.

“I don’t feel as bad for this one.” You mumble against his lips, stopping to look at a particular framed picture of Captain America in uniform, surrounded by every single counterfeit Cap in Times Square.

“S’ one of his favorites.”

You nod, you’re aware. Steve thinks it’s the most hilarious thing ever.

Bucky’s breath tickles the hairs on your neck when he continues.

“I hate it.”

“Yeah.”

You capture his lips again, and you two resume your chaotic redecorating. You’re thankful for Bucky’s strong arms keeping you from falling over, because at this point you’re not sure if your legs work anymore.

He takes you with him when he drops down on the same armchair from earlier, and the dizzy spell you find yourself in is broken when you hear him groan.

Right. He’s battered up and stuff.

“Shit, Bucky, I’m sorry–”

“No.” He pulls you close again, and guides your body to straddle one of his thighs. “Stay right here, doll.”

Doll. God-fucking-damnit.

His hand moves under the elastic band of your pants, oh my god you’re making out with Bucky-Hot-Piece-Of-Ass-Barnes in your wiener dog pajama bottoms, and finds the hem of your underwear. He pulls on it, and you yelp when he lets it snap against your side.

He laughs, and you vibrate along with his chest.

You find yourself grinding on his leg, sucking on his bottom lip, raking your nails along his shoulders, doing anything, everything for more, trying to burn the taste and the feel of him on your memory. He moves on to kiss your neck and you sigh, tugging on his hair and making sure you’re holding on for dear life.

Your eyes flutter open, enough to see the fish Avengers in their tank.

The Avengers.

Steve Rogers is an Avenger. So is Bucky, technically.

You’re making out with Bucky. One of his hands is on your boob.

This is Steve’s apartment.

You manage to sober you up enough, despite Bucky’s constant attacks of open mouth kisses and bites on your neck.

“I don’t think Steve would – if we–” You lift your head begrudgingly to look at him. “You know, on his armchair.”

“Right.” He didn’t seem convinced, but his hand moved up from your butt to your waist again.

Steve Rogers was probably miles away right now and still cockblocking you.

Even worse, his furniture was cockblocking you.

Stupid star-spangled IKEA shopper.

And his hot best friend. Who’s currently smiling at you in a such a way that makes you almost abandon all comradery towards Rogers and the sanctity of his place.

You debate getting up, but resign yourself to burying your nose in the crook of Bucky’s neck and just staying there, because honestly, when are you going to have the chance to do this again. Never, that’s when.

Also, he’s surprisingly comfortable for someone with a metal arm and such a jacked-up body.

“You’re sleepy.”

“No, I’m like, super awake.”

It’s a lie, because now that the sparks have flown and the rush of blood in your ears gave way to the quietness of the early morning, you feel yourself drifting, on and off, surprising yourself when you come to once and find that Bucky is still there, warm under you.

“Sleep, doll. I need it too.”

You shift, ready to let his rhythmic breathing lull you to sleep. The last 75 sleepless hours catch up with you.

“Bucky? If you want to break into someone’s house again sometime – I have a first aid kit too. Just sayin’.”