#but also i know it doesn't look like anything right now!! argh!!

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Vaggie: "Sweetie, today I'm gonna show you the soothing power of... the mutual grapple and scream."

Charlie: "The what and what?"

Vaggie: "We can also call it the grab and yell."

Charlie: "Somehow that doesn't sound any more soothing."

Vaggie: "Trust me it'll be great."

Charlie: "I trust you... not your idea of what's mentally healthy or good all the time, but I do trust YOU."

Vaggie: "That works. So first, we start by standing and facing each other."

Charlie: "Okay!"

Vaggie: "Without getting lost in each other's eyes."

Charlie: "I'll try."

Vaggie: "Now- put your hands behind my neck and lace your fingers together."

Charlie: "Ohh~ Okay~~~"

Vaggie: "We're not gonna kiss, Charlie."

Charlie: "No?

Vaggie: "No."

Charlie: "I'm already not a huge fan of this maneuver thing."

Vaggie: "It gets better I promise. I'm gonna lock may arms around yours and get my hands behind your neck too-"

Charlie: "Are you SURE we can't kiss???"

Vaggie: "-and we're both gonna pull down, dragging each other into this headbutt. Got it?"

Charlie: "Got it." (pouts)

Vaggie: "What? Not comfortable?"

Charlie: "Perfectly comfy, but we're basically kissing already. I don't see how it'd ruin anything."

Vaggie: "How are we basically kissing."

Charlie: "Our cheeks are almost touching."

Vaggie: "Babe. Focus."

Charlie: "I'm trying but your pretty face is making it hard!"

Vaggie: "..I hate that we're friends with Angel Dust. I hate knowing what dumb jokes he'd crack about that."

Charlie: "Making me think of sex jokes just makes this harder!"

Vaggie: "I didn't say they'd be-"

Charlie: "It's Angel Dust of COURSE they'd be sex jokes!!!"

Vaggie: "Well we're not doing that either."

Charlie: "ARGH."

Vaggie: "Alright, you feel that rage? We're gonna channel that in a momment. So take a deep breath..."

Charlie: "EeeeeEEEEYUP-"

Vaggie: "And when you're ready...."

Charlie: "?"

Vaggie: "Scream."

Charlie: "-pWAHT? Right in your FACE?"

Vaggie: "I'll scream too. We're gonna be screaming buddies."

Charlie: "This helps with stress... how."

Vaggie: "Don't you ever just wanna go apeshit?"

Charlie: "No!"

Charlie: "...."

Charlie: "Not at YOU!!!"

Vaggie: "It's not at me, it's with me."

Charlie: "I don't know, Vaggie..."

Vaggie: "Think of it like- kinda like singing. Only you're only doing it for yourself."

Charlie: "I DO sing just for myself!"

Vaggie: "And you still try to make it sound good and happy even when you don't have to and aren't feeling it. I know."

Charlie: "Well what makes screaming any better? It's almost always an angry or scared or upset sound, we hear it all day long down here and it's not fun!"

Vaggie: "People also scream when they're excited."

Charlie: "I get the feeling you want this to be an angry yell."

Vaggie: "A good angry. Yelling can feel REALLY good, babe, and doesn't have to hurt anyone."

Charlie: "Hmm."

Vaggie: "And, again, it'd make me very happy.

Charlie: "...I guess we can try it..."

Charlie: "IF I get a kiss right afterwards!"

Vaggie: "Yell and kiss? Never done that before."

Charlie: "What about when we-"

Vaggie: "Outside of bed and stuff, I mean. Ready?"

Charlie: "Deep breath and scream on three! ONE!" (deep breath)

Vaggie: "Two." (also deep breath)

Charlie: "...."

Vaggie: "...."

Chaggie: "......"

Chaggie: (bursts out laughing instead)

Charlie: "PFHAHA THAT WAS YOUR FAULT! You- you made a weird face at me!"

Vaggie: "I made a weird face because you made a weird face."

Charlie: "It was a glare!"

Vaggie: "How was that a glare?"

Charlie: "Because I was glaring!!"

Vaggie: "You were pouting at my lips with your cheeks puffed up."

Charlie: "I was TRYING to channel my rage at not kissing you into a good BIG angry yell!"

Vaggie: "Maybe you should channel it into a good gay kiss instead."

Charlie: "It's harder than it looks, okay! I- oh."

Charlie: "..."

Charlie: "Now THAT I can do."

[jaylleoo14]

ARGHHHHHH STOPPPPPPP

FLOYD GIVES OFF SUCH CLINGLY DOG VIBES AND JADE GIVES OFF SUCH MISCHEVIOUS CAT VIBES IM GONNA KICK HIM OUT!!!!

Azul is like my little hamster. OMG WAIT NO A BUNNY, BC LIKE SEA BUNNY UKNOW????!?!?! HE"D BE A BUNNY FS (also cus fluffy and pudgy and cute :3) and plus i find it cute imaging Azul with bunny ears being a little sassy and having that strong commanding tone of voice hehehe. Wait but he could also pass as a hamster too.... Its okay either one works but im leaning more towards bunnies because I like bunnies more if I had to pick between the two. But imagine Azul's cheeks stuffed full like a chipmunks hehehe

heavily suggestive + bonus drawing:

Kicking Jade out because i'm not trying to have him spill coffee all over my laptop

I think i'd kick Floyd out too because he'd probably be a rowdy menace and mess up my furniture because he's going to be gnawing on my chair legs and table legs. Azul you are the only tame one.... for now.

Seriously, in the end of the day though I'd let them cuddle me 😔

Jade would probably try to get your attention and when he does he'd probably hit your vase and it shatters and you'd give him the most "are you kidding me?" look ever while he has his hand over his mouth looking at you so innocently, though a look of slight malice in his eyes. That little..... Then all of a sudden once you're done cleaning up your vase Jade comes over to cuddle with you because surely you'd forgive him right? I mean just look at how cute he is being, rubbing his cheek against yours. I'm imagining that they can turn into the animals and then poof back up into a human with their animalistic attributes. Still having the tails and ears like beastmen you know? Just like Jacks unique magic basically.

Floyd is your little energetic big dog who just loves giving you attention. When he's a dog he's just running around playing around with his toys and occasionally fighting with Jade. Azul is hopping around trying to find solace from the fights because he's so much tinier and more feeble in this form that he doesn't want to get dragged into it. I feel like when they do get into fights, thats when Azul turns back into his human form and just watches alongside with you. Yea, just watching. Pretty sure you wouldn't want to interfere with their fights either. But when Floyd turns back into his human form hes all over you! He's so heavy too its such a pain to move him >_< (heheh but i wouldn't mind) Ahem, but i feel like out of the three he makes it the most prominent that he wants your attention. Jade is more roundabout about it but when you usually are the first one to initiate then he's suddenly so attached to you. Once that is the case he's having you all to himself, no sharing until he's done monopolizing your space and time; leaving Azul and Floyd annoyed and ticked off as he gives them a smug look. Sometimes I feel like Azul would just be a bit shy to do or say anything to initiate. But until he warms up to you he'd also be quite clingy and needy, honestly so much so then Floyd and suddenly does get more bolder. Floyd, again, just makes it more clear much more often.

I feel like Cat Jade would be so sneaky at times too, like imagine trying to bathe but then suddenly out of nowhere Jade just appears. You're screaming your lungs out because how the hell did he get in when you closed the door and locked it?

"Fufufu, no need to fear. I was simply minding my time here is all."

A groan can be heard right behind Jade and up comes Azul as he rubs his ass, seeming to be in slight pain. "Argh 'minding my time' is a complete lie. To think i'd find you where I was planning on hiding as well."

"You guys were hiding?! Wha- get out!" Of course Azul would also be here too. As you tell them off they let out a disappointed and sad sigh, and as they proceed to open the door to leave Floyd bursts into the bathroom. "What! You guys snuck in the bathroom without me?!"

What a red face you have, they all wanted to see and be there with you while you bathed. So suddenly Floyd just goes on ahead and quickly undresses at the doorway and you bring the shower curtain over to hide your face. "Floyd! What are you doing!?" The sound of clothes being dropped on the floor can be heard every second until you hear quick stomps. Pulling the curtains back, Floyd quickly gets in the tub sitting behind you. "Scoot scoot hehe." A sharp gasped emits from your mouth and you feel his bare body against yours. A playful giggle escapes his lips and Jade and Azul just look at each other blankly. For only a moment though, until they look back at the both of you and Jade has a playful smirk on his face. Azul has a slight frown as he begins to undress himself. Floyd wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you in closer against him as he spoons you between his legs. You go stiff, a little squeal escaping your mouth as you go on to cover your face from how flustered you were getting. "Heyyyy you guys go bathe somewhere else. Me and shrimpy are already in the tub." Jade lets out a chuckle as he also quickly went ahead to take off his pieces of clothing.

"There's enough space for me to sit, dont hog (y/n) to yourself Floyd." Azul sharply quips, a huff escaping his lips. Clothes now being on the tile floor, you only start to wonder how long this was going to take.

"I think it's only fair if we were to join you in a little bathing session as well."

"Nah-uh, ya snuck in here without me."

"Thats because you're rather big to fit in the cabinet. Me and Jade barely fit in there in our animal forms."

Peeking out between your fingers you can see from the waist above looking at Azul and Jade as they seem to be having their own little competition on who'd get to the bath first. Their little competition was pretty funny to watch however, a little giggle ushering from your lips. Floyd lets out a little hum, content that he got the best seat in the house because he was able to hold you. Azul finished first because he was quick and swift with it, hurriedly coming over to get in. At the same time Jade quickly hurried his way over and as they make their way in the water splashes and spills over the edge. Azul sits behind Jade because Jade forced his way to sit in front of you, a groan ushered out of him as he is practically getting squished from behind.

"Why do I have to be in the back?! You're bigger than me!"

"I think (Y/n) would like that better then, it does hit all the good spots after all."

"Jade!" God they were going to be the death of you. To think Jade would say something so shameless as that. Though the situation was already not helping. Splashing water at him, he flinches back as he gets wet, though still chuckling from your reaction. Azul's brow twitches in annoyance and Jade can only let out a smug look. You let out a sigh as you bury you face in your hands. The tub was so cramped you couldn't even move, just sitting in the tub was all you four did. Though Floyd didn't seem to mind at all, especially when you're in his arms.

To retaliate against Jade though, Azul turns to a bunny and quickly hops on over in front. Pushing him back as he squeezes his way in to fit the tight cramped space, Azul turns back to lean in front of you now. "Its really cramped in here. Did you guys really think we could even properly bathe like this..."

"Of course not. I'd be flabbergasted if you really thought so."

"Hmmm, how about we wash you up instead shrimpy? More hands the better hehe~"

"Oh Floyd that sounds like a wonderful idea."

The water is never still, constantly sloshing and swaying as Azul, Jade, and Floyd continue to readjust themselves more comfortably. The yellow lighting in the bathroom gives off a vintage feeling and the temperature felt warmer than usual because of the tight space full of warm radiating bodies. The feeling of Floyds arms around you loosen up, making it easier to navigate around your body. Azul follows along suite and leans in close to you while Jade grabs hold of your hand and kisses it.

"After we have our fun of course. I'm sure our little caretaker would appreciate it if we were the ones cleaning them this time." Jades voice was low and smooth, your hand against his lips as he lightly nips at your skin.

"Mmmh yes, agreed. Wouldn't you like that dear?" The feeling of Azuls voice vibrates through the base of your neck as he kisses it tenderly, a low gasp escaping out of you as he hits a sensitive spot.

"I love how you feel Shrimpy, so warm and squishy~" Strong hands sway smoothly under the tight space like a slithering eel, making their way to the fats on your body. His sultry voice makes you shiver as you feel him slightly bow down to kiss the back of your neck, a satisfied hum escaping him.

This definitely was going to be a loooonnggg bathing session. But i'm sure you'll enjoy it. Afterall, they'll ensure to clean every dip and crevice of you to ensure you'd be thoroughly clean :) Plus the many kissing and intimate touches you'll share <333

Honestly why have one when you can have all three? They would definitely share you for sure hehehehe >:3

[matan4il]

911 ep 701 first watch reactions

(I don't think I have the energy to write proper Buddie meta, so here's me randomly squealing instead...)

LMAO In case you were wondering whether s7 of 911 will be subtle about their gratitude/debt to ABC for saving the show, the answer is a resounding no.

Also, I have lost a lot of respect for Frank as a shrink, but gained a lot of love for him as a sass king. "Did she win!?" The murderous look Athena gave him was priceless. I love her, too. She doesn't even need words to rule.

Man, nooooo. Don't give me a mutual "I love you" between Bobby and Athena like that.

"Go ahead and cut the green wire." Everyone and their sister: "Green? You said Red."

9-1-1 is the superior comedy they slipped into our drink, while we were here for our weekly action, suspense, drama and familial love.

Buck broke off with Natalia, and the show really did it like that. XD Every single person who rolled their eyes at this pairing during s6, we were all justified, but wow. The show really is the only forum to respect the pair even less than fandom does. And of course we find out about it in the middle of a scene built around Eddie being half naked, Buck watching him, with the camera specifically turning so we can discover Buck was initially covered by Eddie's body, and the angle change reveals him, when the whole thing wraps up with Eddie welcoming Buck back to the land of the living... Yeah, wonder what made Buck feel alive again. Don't know. 'Tis a mystery. We were given zero clues...

"I want the honeymoon life." *cries* Chimney is just such a good, good man. And okay, expecting your whole life to be a honeymoon's a bit unrealistic, but Madney are living together and they have a child. They know this. Chim knows this, but he still wants to go for it. Aim for the moon, you'll at least land among the stars, right?

Bobby baffled by Athena's reaction to Norman and Lola is hilarious.

I like how Chim has a great idea, but it's still obvious that it's gonna go wrong, because he can't help going overboard with it...

OMG, that scene with Eddie recounting to Buck what Christopher's date was like... If I were to write my Buddie meta, I would serve a three course meal just from that. I mean, the fact that watching Chris hanging out with a girl he likes, makes Eddie compare it to "hanging out with his guy friends" (when there's no lack of interest in this girl... in fact, it turns out that if anything, Christopher's problem is the opposite of a lack of interest) is so telling. There's a reason why that's where Eddie's mind went.

But then also... Eddie's trust in Buck got to me, the way he went to his best friend (not his own gf) for help with Chris. But that was still played with half a smile. But then Buck sort of disses himself jokingly, and Eddie won't have it. "You didn't end up like you." He sees how Buck worked on being a better person, even when Eddie wasn't there for the worst of it, and he appreciates it, and won't let Buck forget it. Meeeep. I love them.

Oh Chim. I was giving you so much credit, and then you went and bought that outdoors jacuzzi. lol Still love him. That's what Maddie's reminding herself of right now, too. ;p

Poor Hen, she was great in this ep, but none of it was really about her, she was comic relief, both with Chim and with the red wire. Then again, she was amazing in this, like she always is with everything.

Eddie and Buck were both so good with Chris this ep, MY HEART. Buck with getting him to talk about what's really bothering him, and Eddie with realizing exactly what his son needs, and how to give it to him. They completed each other. Neither one would be helping Chris without the other one. Tell me again how they're not soulmates?

In conclusion, I love Bobby saying, "Let's go prove one of us wrong," when they're both right. Something WAS going on with Norman and Lola, AND Athena was using them to avoid him.

Argh. That scene of the ship and its passengers being hijacked was rough to watch. </3 I'll still be here to watch the conclusion of this. That's the power of 9-1-1 for you.

It def felt like a great kick to the new season. We had lots of comedy and fun, some great tension, some emotional moments (especially with Christopher), but all in all, it's still clear that the whole thing's a build up to next week. Are you excited?

[guilty-pleasures21]

Hii i have an idea for part 3 of interrogation w/ Jason!! SO the roleplay thing could be Red Hood (pretending he's high on sex pollen) with an innocent!reader who he's had a crush on for AGES

Basically him being all like "You're the reason this is hurting so much (referring to his hard-on), don't you wanna help your friend feel better? I'll only feel better if you do it..." And X doesn't know anything about sex so she's like "=) Okay I'll help!" basically gets tricked into fucking him

but this is just a random thot k u dont have to like it :)

(also can I be 🐺anon?)

Hooooooooh! I kept having to take breaks while writing this, because it is SO. F**KING. SPICY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@🐺anon, you are my new hero. I hope I have successfully managed to bring your dirty little fantasies to life and I also personally hope to hear from you again soon because BABE?! ⁉️⁉️ This was AMAZING!!!

Sex pollen with innocent best friend

Jason Todd tricking his best friend he's been in love with for AGES into having sex with him.

Warnings: explicit description of sex (male x female) and Jason taking advantage of his best friend's innocence. No age gap, but manipulation is involved.

---------------------------------------------------------

     He stood on his best friend's balcony, heavy pants shaking his chest as the arousal flooded his body. F*cking sex pollen. Why the hell would Ivy even need something like that?! Argh! It didn't matter. Right now, all that mattered was that he find some way to relieve himself. Some way that maybe involved his unfairly gorgeous best friend he'd been in love with for … He couldn't even remember a time he hadn't been pining after her. Jason knocked on the glass door and his heart stuttered in his chest when he saw X's small figure rushing over to him.

     Red Hood?! The Red Hood was at her balcony door?! But, oh, he didn't look too good.

     “Mr Hood?” She reached up to place a hand on his brawny shoulder and her brows furrowed with concern as she looked up at him. “Is everything all right?” 

     F*ck! Did she have to be so f*cking cute?! Calling him ‘Mr Hood’ while she gazed up at him with those beautiful eyes of hers, the irises so dark that they reflected the entire night sky in them. He bent over as another wave of arousal hit him, his d*ck starting to throb painfully now that he could smell her sweet strawberry scent. “I'm … I need some … Do you think you could help me out … princess?”

     She was right: it was Jason. The Red Hood was the best friend that she'd had a crush on for ages, but always been too insecure to do anything about. He was the Red Hood, after all, why would he ever choose her over the hundreds of beautiful women falling all over themselves to spend just one night with him? “O-Okay.” 

     She stepped aside to allow him entry into her flat, then locked the balcony door and pulled the curtains shut behind him. But he didn't call anyone else ‘princess’, she argued with herself. He didn't show up to anyone else's place when he was hurt, when he was vulnerable and had absolutely no choice but to depend on someone else for help. She turned to him and tilted her head in question, waiting for him to explain what was wrong. 

     He wanted to rip all her clothes off and murmur filthy things in her ear, then watch the blush crawl up her cheeks as he ate her out. She was just so innocent, so sweet and so ready for him to just eat her up. He winced as his c*ck gave another twitch at the thought. “I … Some chemical … from Ivy.”

     That wasn't good. X took a step closer to him, her heartbeat quickening with anxiety at all the horrible possibilities. “What does it do? Can I help?” 

     This was it. All those filthy daydreams he'd ever had about her, all those restless nights spent tossing and turning in his bed, trying to imagine what she'd feel like in his arms, they were finally going to come true. But only if he could control himself long enough to convince her to take her f*cking clothes off. “It's … It's not dangerous. But it hurts.”

     “Where does it hurt?” Jason placed a hand on his abdomen, then gradually moved it lower, until he landed on his crotch. X's eyes widened in surprise. 

     “Oh!” she gasped before glancing away from him in embarrassment. “Um, how … What should I do?” 

     She wasn't sure what he meant by it ‘hurting’, but she hated the thought of him being in pain, of him panting and wincing as he tried to hide it from her.

     “Can you … Can you massage it? A little?” His c*ck resumed its throbbing at the idea and he hissed at the sensation. How the f*ck could he be so aroused that it physically hurt?! What the hell was the point of having a poison that could do that?! He was going to f*cking murder Ivy after this. Well, maybe he'd thank her first, if she managed to turn all his fantasies about f*cking his lovely little best friend into a reality. But then he’d definitely still murder her after. 

     X gulped at the suggestion. She’d never even seen a penis before let alone touched one! But if it would help … 

     “I can try?” She lowered herself to her knees and reached a hand to his waistband, but stopped before she could grab it. “Do you … Do you need to take your pants off?” 

     “F*ck, yes,” Jason breathed, undoing his belt and zip. It was that easy?! Shit, he should have pretended to be high on this ‘sex pollen’ ages ago!Maybe then he wouldn’t have wasted so much time trying to figure out how to confess his feelings to her. He ripped his pants and underwear off and kicked them aside, finally allowing his already erect c*ck to spring free. 

     “Wow!” X squeaked in surprise. He was so big and so hard, his c*ck twitching and throbbing as it begged for relief. X looked up at him, embarrassed by her naive response. “W-What … How should I start?"

     Shit, shit, shit! She was so f*cking gorgeous, her almond-shaped eyes all wide and round with innocence as she gazed up at him. He cupped her cheek in his hand and pressed down on her lower lip with his thumb, then sucked in a breath when she parted her lips for him.

     “You’re going to want to lubricate it first, sweetheart,” he advised her, his breath catching in his throat at the thought of her rosy lips closing around his c*ck. “Just so you don’t rub the skin raw or anything.”

X nodded slowly, then turned her attention back to his c*ck. She dug her fingers into his thighs as she swallowed hard, her heart pounding with a mixture of nerves and excitement.

     “O-Okay,” she agreed. “Should I … What can I put on it?”

She turned back up to him in question and he growled at the innocent look on her face. He tipped her chin up, guiding her mouth to his c*ck. 

     “Just use your tongue, baby. Your saliva should be good enough.” She glanced back at his d*ck as he brushed his thumb along her cheek. Was that … allowed? Wasn’t it kind of dirty for her to suck on her best friend’s c*ck? Even if he was kind of in a lot of pain right now. But … it wasn’t like it counted as sex, right? That was when you penetrated the other person. At least, that was what she understood of it anyway. So maybe it was all right? She opened her mouth as he took hold of his c*ck, letting him slide it onto her tongue before she closed her lips around it. 

     “F*ck!” He shuddered as she began sucking on his d*ck, her movements slow and careful. She was so cute, her pretty little mouth staying close to his tip, barely able to take him in any further. But shit, it felt good - so f*cking good - having her warm tongue swipe across his slit and trace the veins along his shaft. He tilted her face up to his, wanting to see her pretty eyes peeking up at him from beneath her long, dark lashes as she suckled on his d*ck and he swore he almost came undone at the sight. “Just like that, sweetheart. Just like that, baby. You’re doing such a good job for me, princess, such a good massage.” 

     But she hadn’t even gotten to the massage part yet - this was just supposed to be the lubrication step, right? She tried to remind him of that - tried to speak around his c*ck that was currently stuffed in her mouth - but her words just came out a mess of muffled moans. Jason’s eyes rolled back in pleasure at the sound - at the fact that his d*ck was filling up her mouth so nicely that she couldn’t even speak! - and he grabbed onto the back of her head to slide her faster along his length.

     He was too big, too much, and she felt herself choking a little as his tip bounced against the back of his throat. But he seemed to like that, if the euphoric groans falling from his mouth were anything to go by. He pulled her hard against him and she tried to swallow - an involuntary response - but was stopped by the bulk of his d*ck laying in her mouth. 

     “F*ck,” Jason groaned, his mind going numb with pleasure at the feeling of her trying to swallow around his d*ck. Shit, it was so f*cking good that it wasn’t long before he was spilling into her mouth, his sticky c*m dripping down her tongue and along the back of her throat. X sputtered, caught off guard, and Jason finally released her so that she could pull her head back. His best friend looked up at him in confusion, wiping away the mixture of c*m and saliva spilling out of her mouth. F*ck, she looked so pretty like that, he wanted to just rip his helmet off and kiss her. But he couldn’t do that, because then she’d know who he really was. And then she’d definitely stop, excruciating pain or not. And no way in hell was he going to let that happen - not until he’d come inside of her, at least. Then he’d reveal his identity to her and f*ck her so good that she’d pass out in his arms from the exhaustion. And then he’d take her out to dinner and confess his feelings for her. Perfect. 

     “What’s … What was that?” She hadn’t expected for that sticky liquid to come shooting out of him like that. But it seemed to relax him a little, so maybe it was helping? 

     “That was the poison, sweetheart,” he lied to her, gripping her chin in his hand and brushing his thumb along her lower lip. “You see how much you got out? You see how much you helped me, baby? Such a good girl, princess, taking care of me like that. You want to help me some more?”

She brushed her fingers along his shaft, noticing how hard he still was. Was there still a lot of poison inside of him? Why wasn’t it affecting her? 

     “But … isn’t that dangerous?” she asked him, bewildered. “Won’t I get hurt too?”

Jason shook his head quickly, his fingers never leaving her face as they alternated between stroking her cheek and running through her hair. 

     “No, no, no!” he reassured her, another lie forming in his mind. “It only affects guys, sweetheart. You’ll be fine, baby. You just … You gotta help me get the poison out. Hmm?” 

     Jason took hold of his c*ck - still painfully hard in his hand - and traced the outline of her lips with his tip. “You see this? You see how hard I still am, baby? That’s ‘cause the poison’s still inside. You gotta keep going if you want to help me, okay?”

X nodded and curled her fingers around his c*ck, her slender digits brushing along his shaft delicately. 

     “Should I … Should I suck on it again?” She kneaded his d*ck as she said it, squeezing and stroking him so gently, like she really was trying to give him a massage. Argh! She was so sweet! 

     “You can use your hands too,” he assured her, his c*ck springing back to life at her careful touches. She didn’t know how bad the poison was or how long she had to get it out of his system, but the quicker the better, right? 

     “How … How do I do that?” He took hold of her arms and lifted her up so she was standing before him, her damp shirt clinging to her chest and outlining the stiff peaks of her nipples perfectly. Shit. 

     “Just … Just like how you’re doing it now, sweetheart,” he told her, his eyes roving across her body beneath his mask. He had to get her out of her f*cking clothes! He trailed his fingers along her curves, trying to come up with an excuse. “But … But don’t you want to take this shirt off? You’re all soaked, princess.” 

     “I’m okay!” she chirped, her hands leaving his c*ck and moving up to his chest. He was so strong, his muscles all broad and hard beneath her hands. She bit her lip as he snuck his fingers underneath her shirt and her body shivered at the feeling of his calloused palms brushing along her skin.

     “You sure?” he questioned, sliding his hands up and down her sides. Shit, she was soft. “You don’t have to be shy around me, princess. I just want to make sure you’re comfortable. You’ve done so well tonight, helping me out. Let me help you out too. Hmm? Please, sweetheart?”

He was asking so nicely - Jason never said ‘please’ - and she was feeling pretty uncomfortable, her shirt all wet with the sticky liquid that had seeped out of him. 

     “Hmm, okay,” she agreed after a moment of hesitation. Jason swallowed down his elated cheer and slipped her shirt off, casting it aside. Then he turned back to her and all remaining rational thought left his mind. F********ck! She was so. F*cking. Gorgeous! Her curly hair tumbling over her shoulders, her cheek rosy with embarrassment, her perky little breasts all round and full. How was she so perfect?! 

     “Let me …” Jason reached his hands up and cupped her breasts, then began kneading them gently, marvelling at how soft she was. “You’re still a little sticky, princess. Let me clean you up.” 

     She let out a surprised yelp when he closed his fingers around her soft flesh and he growled at the sound. But he kept his movements slow, tender, his touch featherlight as he circled her breasts reverently. 

     “Um, M-Mr Hood?” X managed to squeak out, her mind quickly growing fuzzy at the feeling of his warm hands gliding over her sensitive skin. “D-Do you … s-still … need help?” 

     Jason grunted in agreement, then slid his hands around her waist and up her back. He pulled her flush against him and groaned as he dragged his fingers down her soft skin. God, he wished he could kiss her. “Yes. I need … I need …” 

     He pulled back and watched himself trace his hands all along her body, his fingers lingering on the smooth curves of her breasts and waist. Then he slid his fingers into her pyjamas and pulled them down her thighs, letting them fall to the ground. She squeaked in surprise and quickly squeezed her legs together, and he grabbed her ass in his hands, pulling her close to him. “F*******ck. You’re so soft, princess.” 

     She clutched his shoulders, her nipples tingling as they pressed up against his chest. She wasn’t sure how this was helping him, but it seemed to bring him some sort of relief, squeezing and stroking her as he was doing so. He kept groaning and sighing, the deep vibrations of his voice rumbling out of his chest and into her own, causing her body to shiver involuntarily. 

     “J-Jason, I … Something’s … coming out of me too. You sure I can’t be accidentally poisoned?” She’d felt a sticky liquid - not unlike his own - start leaking out of her vagina earlier, and it was absolutely soaking her thighs by this point. She’d never experienced such a sensation before, but it kept getting worse every time her nipples brushed up against his chest. 

     “Hmm? Let me see,” Jason commanded, immediately concerned. Was she hurt? Was there actually some sort of poison in the pollen Ivy had sprinkled on him? He’d f*cking murder her if there was; if anything were to happen to his precious little X because of her. 

     God, this was so embarrassing! He wanted to see her vagina! And the weird discharge that continued to drip out of it! But what if it was something serious? And she needed to go see a doctor? Maybe it was better to just let him check first. 

     “Um, it’s, um,” she hesitated before stepping back from him and going over to the sofa. Her body trembled as she pried open her legs slowly, exposing her deliciously drenched centre to him, and he fell between her knees desperately. She was so small - and tight, too, probably. Shit, it was going to feel so good being inside of her, so- Wait a minute. Had she just used his name? 

     “What did you just call me?” Jason looked up at her, a hint of confusion in his voice as he asked her the question. Oh no! Had she used his name? She couldn’t remember - she was too ashamed by the way she’d spread herself out before him, her naked body entirely on display for him. 

     “Uh, I … M-Mr Hood?” she tried, hoping he was too distracted by the poison to notice her slip-up. But, of course, this was Jason, and nothing ever escaped his notice. 

     “That’s not what I heard, princess.” He took off his jacket, then his shirt, his c*ck continuing to twitch desperately at the sight of her blushing p*ssy, all red and swollen as it begged for his attention. “How long have you known? Why didn’t you say anything?” 

     Finally, he removed his mask, revealing his dark hair and his sparkling eyes and his sharp jawline. He licked his lips as he leaned closer to her, and she sucked in a breath at the sight. “I-I … I’ve known … for a while now. Just … It’s the way you walk. And how you always call me ‘princess’? I didn’t want to say anything because I thought … I thought maybe you didn’t trust me.” 

     He dragged his eyes away from her centre for just a moment, just long enough for him to see the pout her rosy lips twisted into. Then he pressed his thumb to her clit and she yelped in surprise at the unfamiliar sensation. “Of course I trust you, princess. I just … I just didn’t want you to get hurt.” 

     He circled her clit for a bit, nudging it gently with his thumb so that she kept twitching and moaning, unable to contain her pleasure. Then he pushed his mouth into her folds and groaned loudly as he began lapping up her juices. 

     “J-Jason!” she exclaimed, twisting her fingers into his hair in surprise. Her legs wriggled around his head as he dragged his tongue along her sensitive nerves, teasing her and stroking her until her entire body was quivering beneath his touch. “I-Is this … What are you doing? Is this allowed?” 

     God, she was so cute! And so naughty too - she’d sucked on his d*ck knowing that it was him? The whole time? Maybe she wasn’t as innocent as he'd thought. 

     “Anything’s ‘allowed’, princess,” he chuckled, the vibrations of his voice tickling her already desperate little p*ssy and pleasing her even further. “We can do whatever we want. And besides, I’m not doing anything wrong. I’m just trying to help clean you up. Hmm?” 

     He looked up at her and she swallowed at the sight of the sticky liquids dripping down his chin. Was he … Was he eating her up? Did she taste good? She must have if he seemed so satisfied by it. X nodded slowly and tried to relax back into her seat as he returned his mouth to her vagina, his lips closing around her folds and sucking them into his mouth. She tried to keep quiet, to not bother him while he did his best to help her out, but it was so difficult! She just kept squealing and moaning and squirming beneath his touch, the insistent throbbing inside of her getting more and more desperate as he dribbled his tongue along her bundle of nerves. He pulled her into his mouth again and she dug her fingers into the cushions as he circled her entrance with his tongue, trying her hardest to keep still and make his job a little easier. But then he slid tongue inside her hole and she found herself sliding down the sofa and sighing with relief. Jason gripped onto her knees, holding her apart so that he could push his tongue even deeper inside of her and start lapping at her walls. And then he hit this one spot that had her leg twitching involuntarily, her body tensing up every time he curled his tongue against it. “J-Jason … S-Something’s .. happening …” 

     Jason didn’t respond, instead speeding up his movements, his tongue pressing harder against her spot. Then finally, she was coming, her tight little body shaking and shuddering against him as he kept his mouth glued firmly to her p*ssy. He licked her up desperately as she spilled her arousal into his mouth - f*ck, she tasted so sweet! How did she taste so sweet?! - and refused to move even after she’d finished, choosing instead to admire the way her breasts heaved up and down as she tried to catch her breath. 

     “Um, Jace?” she began hesitantly, trying to pull herself away from him. But he tightened his grip on her, keeping her in place so he could continue licking up the sticky liquid splattered all over her thighs. “I-I … feel a lot better now, Jace. The … The throbbing is gone.” 

     She didn’t know how he’d done it, but he’d managed to get rid of that pulsing sensation inside of her, that tightness that had kept squeezing at her insides. Was that how he was feeling too? The sweat dripping down his forehead, his breaths coming in shallow and heavy pants? It must be painful.

     “C-Can I … Can I help you too?” she suggested when he finally dragged his mouth away from her sweet little p*ssy. He looked up at her, dazed, trying to figure out what she was talking about. 

     “Huh?” he questioned, his brain so clouded with lust and desire that he found himself unable to focus on anything but the taste of her still lingering on his tongue. F*ck, she tasted good. 

     “Do you still need help, Jay?” X asked, her beautiful little body glistening with sweat as he climbed up over her. Help? What did he need help with? Oh, right: his throbbing d*ck that was still so painfully hard for her. 

     “Come here. Come here, princess.” He lifted her up, onto his hips, then pulled her lower back, arching her towards him so that her breasts were right up in his face. He trailed his fingers around one, then squeezed her flesh gently and bent over to groan against her neck when she squealed in response. F****ck. She was so f*cking cute! “I need … I need …” 

     He nudged her head back with his nose, exposing her throat to him so that he could lick his way along it. She squeaked in surprise as he nipped at her jaw, and he chuckled before finally pressing his lips to hers and kissing her. 

     She curled her toes as he kissed her, trying her hardest to match his aggressive pace. But she was just so overwhelmed by all the new sensations around her: his warm tongue swirling around her mouth, his broad chest pressing against her breasts, his hard c*ck twitching against her p*ssy. He did feel really nice though, his large form wrapped protectively around her, his familiar masculine scent dancing through the air around her. She shifted in position, wrapping her arms around his neck and sinking into the kiss, and then she didn’t feel so nervous anymore. He groaned as she brushed her tongue against his and pushed her back against the sofa, his hands travelling all over her body as he continued kissing her. He was so gentle, despite his obvious hunger for her, so tender in the way he caressed her soft curves. X smiled against his mouth and Jason pulled back to look at her as their teeth clashed. 

     “You okay?” he asked, reaching a hand up to cup her cheek. “You okay, baby?”

She nodded and nuzzled his palm softly, her lips stretched into a sweet smile. Then she straightened and her features rearranged themselves into an expression of concern. 

     “But what about you, Jay?” she asked him, feeling how hard he still was beneath her. “You’re still … You’ve still got some of that poison inside of you, right? How do we get it out?”

Shit. Jason let his head fall forward onto her shoulder as he bit back a groan. She was so … Ugh! He wrapped his arms around her and stroked her back gently, relishing the feeling of her, small and soft in his arms. It was so much better than anything he’d ever imagined. 

     “You want to help me? Hmm?” he mumbled, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. “ You want to help me get this poison out?”

He pulled back to look at her, his expression serious as he waited for her answer. But of course she wanted to help him! Of course she’d do anything to help her best friend in the whole world! X nodded eagerly, her fingers still curled loosely around his shoulders. 

     “It might hurt, princess,” he warned her, his moss-coloured eyes fixed on her face as he brushed his fingers along her cheek. “Just a little, just in the beginning. Are you okay with that?” 

     “Of course!” she chirped quickly, offended that he’d question her loyalty. “It’s better than you hurting for the rest of the night!” 

     God, he loved her. If he hadn’t been in love with her before, then he definitely was now. She was just so sweet and so kind, always looking after him and taking care of him. And never expecting anything in return either! Well, he’d take care of her tonight. He’d take such f*cking good care of her, she’d never find herself wanting for anything ever again. 

     “Tell me if it hurts, all right?” Jason told her, taking hold of his c*ck and rubbing it along her folds. “I’ll … I’ll stop if it hurts.”

F*cking liar. How the hell was he going to be able to stop himself once his d*ck got a taste of that sweet little p*ssy of hers? X nodded and Jason shifted in position slightly, lifting her up enough for him to slip his tip into her. She sucked in a breath, unused to the feeling, then exhaled slowly so that her body relaxed to allow more of him in. And f*ck if he wasn’t going to come undone right there. But he maintained his self-control, pushing his d*ck into her inch by inch. She curled her toes and bit down on her lip to muffle her pained whimper, and Jason forced himself to stop. He was already more than halfway inside of her, but he didn’t want to force it. He wanted her to enjoy it, to be pleasured by the feeling of being stuffed full with his c*ck, the bulk of him brushing up against her walls and stretching her out pleasingly. 

     She curled her toes, feeling a little uncomfortable at the way he stretched her out. It wasn’t an entirely unwelcome sensation though, being so filled up by him like this. And he’d said it would only hurt for a little while. “I-Is this helping, Jay? Does it feel better?” 

     “Mmhmm, so much better, baby,” he assured her, brushing her hair away from her face. F****ck. She kept leaking around him, her tight little p*ssy soaking him in her warm and slippery c*m, lubricating him so he could move in and out of her more easily. “You okay if I start moving?” 

     “Huh?” She furrowed her brows as she looked up at him, confused. 

     “I have to …” he sighed, trying to come up with an explanation. “You know how you were massaging me earlier? With your … your mouth and your hands? I’m going need you to do the same now.” 

     “O-Okay,” she agreed, still a little confused. But then he thrust himself into her and she yelped in surprise at the sudden movement. 

     “You okay … sweetheart?” Jason forced out through gritted teeth. He dug his fingers into her sides, trying to stop himself from moving in and out of her. But f*ck, it was hard. Especially when she felt so f*cking good, her sweet little p*ssy throbbing around his d*ck so obediently. X nodded and Jason continued his movements, but slower this time, nice and gentle, his hips rolling against hers carefully. And f*ck, it felt so good, sliding in and out of her, hearing the sweet squelching sound every time he moved. 

     “Mmm, f*ck,” Jason mumbled, lowering his head to her shoulder as he continued moving his hips against hers. It had been a little uncomfortable at first, but she was starting to get used to the size of him now. And it felt really nice, having him fill her up so nicely, the bulk of him brushing against her walls carefully and his tip prodding against this one spot inside of her that had her shivering with relief. She curled her arms tighter around him and he began pressing open-mouthed kisses to her neck and shoulder, his lips and tongue travelling along her skin appreciatively. “Feels so good, princess.” 

     He dragged his nails down her back, then pulled her hips against his and bent over to press his lips to her nipple. She let out a choked gasp as he suckled on her gently, then she twisted her fingers into his hair. “J-Jason … Are we … Isn’t this, like, sex … or something?” 

     “Yeah, but it’s … it’s okay, right, princess?” he asked in between the tender kisses he showered over her breasts. “You’re just … You’re just helping me out, right? Helping me get the poison out and feel better?” 

     “Mmm, yeah …” she conceded, her body tightening as he continued to suck on her breasts and pump his c*ck in and out of her. It was … kind of nice, having sex with him. He was really gentle and he kept making sure that she was comfortable before moving any further. She decided that she liked it. Jason pulled her breast into his mouth and sucked on it, then released it again with a ‘pop’. X squealed at the sensation and Jason looked up at her, concerned. 

     “What happened? You all right, princess?” he asked her, his expression dazed, his eyes dark with lust. X nodded quickly. 

     “Yup!” she reassured him, starting to enjoy herself a little. She glanced away from him, giving a shy smile that made his heart start beating like crazy. “It just feels nice, that’s all.”

Jason gave a wicked grin, then increased the movements of his hips as he returned his mouth to her breasts. It wasn’t long before she was shaking and shuddering in his arms, her p*ssy squeezing around his c*ck as she came for him. Jason moaned and squeezed her tighter, delighting in the way her small body shivered against him as he held her close. And then he returned his attention to her breasts, determined to make her c*m for him until she passed out in his arms.

     “J-Jason …” X whined as he licked and sucked on her breasts, her body exhausted from the numerous orgasms he kept giving her. It had been more than an hour since he’d started and she didn’t think she’d be able to take any more. 

     "Just one more, baby, just one more,” Jason pleaded with her, his hard c*ck pumping in and out of her repeatedly. He meant it this time: he could feel himself starting to slow down, the testosterone finally starting to recede from his body. But god, she looked so hot, her sweet little p*ssy stuffed full of his c*ck - all the way up to his balls now! - her thighs and abdomen splashed with his c*m that he’d quickly replace everytime it started drying on her skin. F*********ck!

He bounced her up and down on his lap, feeling his body start to tighten in anticipation. And then she was milking his d*ck again, and he was coming inside of her, his c*ck shooting every last drop of his sperm inside of her. X moaned as she shuddered in his arms, her body twisting and contracting as his old c*m spilled out of her p*ssy again. Shit, she was so cute when she was coming, her forehead creased in frustration, her eyes shut tight with fatigue, her lips twisted into an annoyed pout. He breathed a sigh of relief when he was done, his c*ck finally going limp in her p*ssy, and slumped over in exhaustion. 

     “Jason! Sleep!” X pawed at his shoulder drowsily before sinking into his chest. Jason smiled and stroked her hair gently before pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head, never having felt more satisfied than right then, the girl he’d loved for so long falling asleep in his arms.

     “All right, sweetheart,” he relented, already planning out their date for tomorrow night. “Let’s get you washed up and into bed.”

AHHH! I'm sorry if the ending is a bit abrupt, I wanted to finish this and get it out before I went to bed!!!

[ao3cassandraic]

What does Aziraphale know and when does he know it? Part 4: The Aftermath

Prologue, Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3, for those who need them.

After Crowley strides out, Aziraphale has a lot going on in his head still, and it shows on his poor devastated angry (he is angry, just a bit) face.

Then the Metatron comes back in, and Zira has to turn sharply away to pull himself back into some kind of kayfabe. "How did he take it?" the Metatron asks cheerfully, despite already knowing because he was watching. Jehoshaphat, y'all, I thought s1!Gabriel was punchable -- I want to drop the Metatron into Earth-core magma like Gollum at this point!

Aziraphale's heroic efforts at kayfabe are pretty successful, on the whole, but it hurts to see him stiff as a board, arms at his sides, letting the Metatron (argh, so punchable) insult Crowley and laughing nervously. Then the Metatron starts forcing him out the door again with "Right, ready to start?" The presumptuous wretch doesn't even wait for a yes -- just assumes it!

Aziraphale, however, knows he never said yes, so he tries playing for -- anything, really, more information or some kind of choice (arc word! arc! word!) or anything at all. No dice; the Metatron highhandedly gives his bookshop (his. BOOK. SHOP.) to Muriel. Aziraphale now knows why the Metatron wanted Muriel to stay behind on Earth, and he also knows that the Metatron will stop at nothing and trample anyone to get what he wants. Not comforting knowledge, that.

And Aziraphale, having essentially no more choice (I repeat: arc word!), but still horribly torn because he never got to make a decision about the job offer, still doesn't have a Metatron-thwarting plan, and wants Crowley with all his mind and heart, blurts "I think I --" Then he drops back into kayfabe, following the extremely punchable Metatron out the door.

Crowley's still there, standing by the Bentley. All our hearts shatter. But the extremely punchable Metatron (have I mentioned that he is extremely punchable?) keeps Aziraphale moving along by dropping hints at answers to his continuing questions: whatever the Metatron's up to, it's something to do with the Great Plan.

Aziraphale asks. And now that he's firmly in the Metatron's clutches, the Metatron answers: it's the Second Coming.

Watch Aziraphale drop kayfabe (fortunately, the Metatron isn't looking at him) for a look of helpless dismay. A.Z. "entire collection of Bibles, wicked and otherwise" Fell knows what that means! Watch him re-establish kayfabe when the Metatron looks at him from the elevator. Watch him turn back toward Crowley to tell him (unnecessary -- Crowley knows from his visit Upstairs -- but Aziraphale doesn't know Crowley knows), then decide (with another of those pulling-himself-together deep breaths) that he must instead play along. Watch him kayfabe-smile at the Metatron and enter the elevator.

And watch kayfabe warring with devastation and guardianly determination in Aziraphale's face over the credits. My read -- you may have a different one -- is that determination wins, and the eventual smile is an "okay, now I have a plan" smile.

Watch out, Metatron. Aziraphale's gonna wreck you and I'm gonna enjoy it.

-------------------------------------------

This interpretation of the Final Fifteen Minutes is parsimonious. It works with what's there onscreen, not assuming much beyond that -- the only Caveat About Offscreen Shenanigans I left in was to note that we don't necessarily see the entire chinwag. Exactly zero of the twistier, more elaborate fan theories, you may have noticed, made it into this meta -- heck, we don't even have to assume we didn't see the entire chinwag! We might have! What we did see was enough to lead to these outcomes!

The Gaiman-Pratchett-Finnemore brain trust likes jigsaw-puzzle plots where everything has its place and little or nothing is wasted. That's a big reason I think a parsimonious interpretation is likely to be close to a true interpretation. It's all there; why get wild if there's no need to?

This also aligns with what Michael Sheen has said (do please read this not-mine meta, it's lovely) about angels and goodness and making choices. I, too, want Aziraphale to have made the hard, hurting, noble choice at last, even if he was partly railroaded into it.

(Anyone who doesn't care for fan theories should stop reading now, with my effusive gratitude for making it this far.)

That said, the explosion of fan theories about the Final Fifteen Minutes also demonstrates that this interpretation is narratively accommodating. It doesn't have to assume poisoned or drugged coffee, but it doesn't preclude that. It doesn't require a body swap, but it allows it -- all that really has to change is the estimation of who's doing how much kayfabe when. It doesn't need some massive season-spanning conspiracy arc, but if there is one, it can make that work.

Neil knows fandom, none better. He knows we love our meta and our theories. So I have no trouble believing he wrote us a narratively accommodating finale so we could get our book-length Tumblr posts on. Appreciate it, and you, Neil.

[crabbunch]

for @mcyt-aro-week - day 4 - aplatonic/space

Here's the thing: Ken doesn't... love people.

Not that he minds them or anything! He enjoys talking with people, and there are people who he knows well enough to call his friends, and in general, he likes people, he really does, he just...

He doesn't love them.

He's spent a lot of time thinking about it, too. What love qualifies as. What gives him the right to finally, definitively say no, I will never love anyone in any way, ever.

Maybe it's not a right at all. Maybe it's just something he can do. It's not like it's hurting anyone.

It had started with Wato- because before that, he had been alone, or at least distant enough from other people that it wouldn't have made sense to love them. Or maybe it would have- maybe other people would have. Ken doesn't...

But when he and Wato had hit it off and started hanging out more, they'd also started telling him I love you. It had been casual, easy to miss- see you tomorrow, I love you, goodbye- thrown in a jumble of words, and Ken had replied easily enough.

He hadn't meant it, though.

The thing was- he'd always hated it when people saved the sentiment for romance. He wanted to be able to throw it around in whatever context he wanted- it's just that he was lying. And it felt... uncomfortable.

So he doesn't love people. It's just- a thing, a fact about Ken that people know if they're close enough to him. Ken likes escape rooms and prisons, Ken can fit 24 marshmallows in his mouth if he really tries, and Ken doesn't love people.

The problem. That is making itself clear to him now, though.

He never told Wato- not really. They just kind of fell into it together. Ken never realized anything and neither did Wato. That's how it works with everyone. He doesn't give a- a disclaimer, before he goes out and makes friends- oh, hey, before we hang out too much, just wanted to let you know I'll never love you- and it doesn't matter, because his feelings don't have to effect his actions at all! Eventually, the pieces fall into place, and everyone just knows that Ken doesn't love people.

But. Ken has known Wifies for several months now. And he doesn't seem to have gotten the memo.

It's not Wifies fault! It's probably a little bit Ken's fault, but he doesn't know how to explain it to Wifies. He's never explained it to anyone! He doesn't know why it's bugging him, anyways, because shouldn't things be okay as long as Ken knows that this isn't love? But Wifies doesn't know, and he looks at Ken like he expects him to love him, and it's really kind of the worst.

So really he just needs to bite the bullet and text him.

Ken throws his com across the room and slumps to the ground, tail twitching.

Here's the other problem: Wifies looks at Ken like he hung the moon over the stars, which is weird, because Ken didn't even do anything special. He did the bare minimum to help him out, and now Wifies treats him like some saint. It leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

He doesn't want to hurt Wifies, though- he's the kind of person who'd take it the wrong way if Ken told him that he didn't love people. He's still... he doesn't think of himself as a person, sometimes, and Ken wants him to be happy and know that Ken doesn't hate him or think badly but argh-

He doesn't love him.

Ken stands up again and starts pacing, tail lashing furiously. He doesn't want Wifies to feel like he wasn't- good enough for Ken, or anything dumb like that, but he doesn't want the misconception to keep going. He doesn't want-

There's really no reason to be this upset. Sometimes he wonders- if he's making too big of a deal over it, because if it doesn't make a difference whether he loves someone or not, than why is he so hung up on it? It's just- there's something in his stomach, and it twists around when people expect him to reciprocate, because he can't, and- and-

Ken scoops up his com again and opens up his chat with Wifies. He frowns down the meme he sent a couple of hours ago, and snaps it shut. He doesn't know what to say. He doesn't even want to say anything- it's just that letting things continue like this feels unbearable sometimes.

It's cruel to Wifies, to keep up the charade, and it's cruel to himself, and Ken-

Well. He's not a selfless person. He's actually really greedy, and overly critical, and he knows that, he knows his flaws, but he doesn't think this- this has never been one. The avoidance, though- maybe when he says I don't want Wifies to blame himself he means I don't want Wifies to blame me, and that would be bad of him. Selfish.

Because Wifies deserves to know that Ken doesn't love him.

Ken takes a deep breath, and opens his com.

<Ken> hey btw i dont love people

<Ken> just letting you know

That sucked! He shuts it again and flops onto the cold, unforgiving floor. He's not going to open the com again, because he doesn't want to know what- oh, it flashes, presumably because Wifies has replied, and his stupid, traitorous hands open it back up without his permission. Don't they know that curiosity killed the cat?

<Wifies> Oh, okay?

<Wifies> I'm not sure what you mean by that.

Aaaaugh explaining things is awful! Ken brings a finger to his mouth and bites down on it as he types with his other hand.

<Ken> like i dont love you

<Ken> but its not because you're you or anything just cuz i dont love anyone

<Ken> its just. a thing i guess. and i thought you deserved to know.

He drums his fingers anxiously against his cheek as little dots bubble down and back up again. Wifies is taking a long time to respond- but he always does, because he types like a grandma, so Ken is reading into things too much. Unless he's not.

<Wifies> Oh, okay, I see.

<Wifies> Thanks for telling me!

What does he mean by that!!!!

Ken huffs, and stands up again. It's not a problem. Wifies seems happy enough, and Ken being unable to fathom the way his brain works is nothing new. He-

<Wifies> I've just got one question, though.

Huh?

<Wifies> Why'd you call me 'my Wifies' if you didn't love me?

<Ken> what? what does that have to do with love?

<Wifies> Oh. Nothing, I guess.

Well! Whatever. Ken throws his com at the wall again- a couple of sparks fly out, which means that he probably broke it this time, but that'll be a problem for future Ken, because he already solved one problem probably mostly tonight, and that is far exceeding his daily problem-solving quota.

[danieyells]

hi! any chance you'd be able to post some of kaito's voicelines? I would love to see them <33

Our wanna-be knight and pathetic little best friend! He's just such a good boy lol. . .once again, another one who just wants to go back to a normal life, poor thing. Kaito's very much your vanilla, sweet boyfriend character with no frills attached, aside from his cowardice and his gambling habit of course. And his terrible aim. . . .

Copying all of them over isn't hard now that I've done it twice. Let's do it again for Kaito!

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"{PC}! Over here! Hiya!"

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"Hey, new message. Better check it out, yeah? Or are you the type who's got like a ton of of unread inbox messages?"

. . .shut up /absolutely that type (and a sincere apology to literally everyone i know for that my adhd doesn't let me read and respond to their messages--)

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"God, please don't make me go on any more missions... It's not like me being there is any help to anyone anyway..."

"Oh yeah, have you been on WickHive yet? Someone leaked next month's cafeteria menu! Oh wait... I-I already told you that, didn't I?!"

"Damn it... I could've taken {PC} to lunch with that money! God, why am I such a moron?!"

"Ask me anything you want to know! I'm pretty savvy when it comes to Darkwick!"

honestly the fact that he's a second year who doesn't wanna be here and doesn't wanna be doing all of this but he still knows like everything about the school is also kinda sus to me. . .surely he'd divest himself from as much of darkwick as possible if he didn't care

"Urgh... Limited time only, you are not my friend... Huh? Oh, I'm on TikTok. I really want this, but I'm pretty broke this month..."

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"Ahem... Testing, testing... Morning! Heh, nailed it... Ack! How long've you been there, {PC}?!"

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Phew, should be safe here... EEEEEEEEEEK! Oh thank god, it's just a cat... I thought he found me..."

romeo oh romeo didn't you get into enough shit for this romeo? just make sure it's not Romeo cat. Because I'm sure it'll tell him somehow--

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Shit, it's Luca… Judging by the outfit he must be going to train. I better bail before he tries to rope me in too…"

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Eeeek?! Oh, it's just you... Geez, you almost gave me a heart attack!"

i know romeo is constantly on his ass, and I relate to the feeling of being scared the people you owe money will appear out of nowhere and get you, but. . .he's so jumpy lol

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Ugh, Romeo's texting me... Not gonna open that..."

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"So your father runs a company, huh? Who the hell leads with that?! This is why I hate talking to Frostheimers..."

so the wording here is wonky because he's quoting a Frostheimer, but there's no visual indication that he's quoting them. But lore drop! Kaito's father runs a company! But I thought he wasn't well off. . .? Maybe his parents are separated or his father doesn't spend any of their money on him. . .or the company isn't doing well. . .or gambling addiction runs in his family lol. . . .

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Argh, I want junk food! And I want to try all the new snack flavors!!"

my boy is so relateable--

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"All right, time to man up and bite the bullet... Nope, absolutely not, can't do it!"

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"How is Jin's skin so perfect? Fucking rich kids and their stupidly expensive fancy-ass toner!!!"

kaito really looking at jin like OH NO HE'S HOT

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"(yawn) Guess I'll go brush my teeth..."

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"Hey {PC}, you seem different somehow today. Did you change something? Or am I just imagining things?!"

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Noooo why does Tohma want to see me...? No way it's about something good! Could you come with me, {PC}?!"

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Crap, I fell asleep in class so I don't know what our homework is... Help me, {PC}!"

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"(yawn) Man, my bed's like a freaking marshmallow. I can never get any good sleep on that thing..."

lol the Frostheim beds are too comfortable lolol I NEED A FIRMER BED TOO KAITO I GET IT.

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"Huh? Oh, my pendant! You're always wearing it? Does that mean you've actually been paying attention to me?!"

once again the wording here is wonk because it makes it sound like the pc is always wearing Kaito's pendant. I'm pretty sure he's quoting the pc, who's commented that "you're always wearing it". It would read better as something like "You noticed I'm always wearing it?"

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Hey {PC}, how 'bout we grab a bite?! I've got tons to splurge in winn... er, earnings, so it's all on me! Get whatever you want!"

your gambling addiction is really and truly going to get you in trouble. disregard that i play a gacha game.

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"...Huh?! Man, nearly fell sleep without putting my phone on the charger... 5%, that would've sucked tomorrow..."

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Ha ha ha! Have you seen this yet?! It's all over TikTok. Ah man, it's killing me..."

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Whoa, when did it get so late?! Sorry {PC}, I didn't mean to keep you up... What? You're still good?"

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"Morning! Hey, guess what? Luca's busy after class, so how about we hit up the diner? It's been ages!"

do you. . .do you really wanna go there. . .i mean the drinks seem to be fine but according to sho they can't make good food at all. . . .

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Sorry, I gotta stay after class today... (sniffle) This sucks, I really wanted to walk home with you..."

aw buddy. . .they could wait for you or come pick you up after your remedial lesson. . .!

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Hey I'm really sorry but do you mind if we stop by the campus store after class? I'm almost out of granulated sugar."

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Hey, do you like stars? Oh, um, I was just wondering 'cause there's this place where you can see them really well, so I thought maybe you'd want to go some time..."

he's overcoming his fears and being honest with himself and how he speaks and just. . .asking honestly, no bravado, no act. do it scared, kaito. do it scared, do it awkward, do it sure you're going to fail. as long as you do it. proud of you!

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Sure is dark. Reminds me of the closet where we first met. Remember?"

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"I know I'm weak, and a coward. But I really do want to become your knight in shining armor, {PC}."

I love how comfortable and honest he starts to get as his affinity goes up. Still shy here and there, still scared, but he's not as jumpy and he starts treating you like a real friend. laughs with you about stuff, talks a little about hobbies and struggles. doesn't try and look cool for you. and then the honesty--i'm a weak coward, but i wanna be better for you. i wanna spend time with you. just!!! he grows!!! he realizes you like him for who he is and how he is, even if that's a weak coward--and that that's exactly what he wants! and it's okay for him to be that way because you won't be put off by it, even if it's something he'd like to grow from so he can be better for you--but he wants to be better for you as himself and--idk. i have feelings about characterization lol.

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"(yawn) Man, I wanna sleep, but I can't fail, so I gotta show up for class... Oh! I have Professor Nicolas next! Naptime."

does that mean you're good in anomalous medicine class or. . . .

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Grr! All those girls in the hall were looking at Luca! I'm so pissed off now I'm not even sleepy anymore!"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"It's finally warm out again, so I really want to go do something fun... Wish I could get an R&R permit..."

well maybe if you stopped sleeping in class and did good in class or went on a mission or something. . . . . .

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Mheheh... {PC}... You've got a petal in your hair... Zzz..."

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"Ugh, it's too hot to go outside... But I can sense a coming-of-age event on the horizon... All right, here I come!"

obligatory beach event? 👀

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Can't believe Professor Hyde still wears that blindfold in summer. Pfft, I bet it's really sweaty under— Eeeek! S-Sir?!"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Hey {PC}, are you free after this? I was thinking of inviting Luca to let off some fireworks! I want to show him how we do summer here in Japan."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"I can't believe I get to spend the whole summer hanging out with you {PC}... (sniffle) Homework? Uh y-yeah, I finished it already..."

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"Is it just me, or is it really cold today?! Guess I better get my coat out soon..."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Have you had the chestnut rice from the cafeteria yet? They made it way too fancy. It's supposed to be comfort food..."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Tohma's always reading something. Maybe I should too... All right, let's go with this! 10 Ways To Become Popular Overnight!"

well. . .it's something to read. . .never a bad idea to read.

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Apparently the moon is the most beautiful in fall since the air gets clearer. Want to go take a look?"

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"It's freezing out there! It's freezing in here! Frostheim sucks!!"

this makes me wonder what the warmest dorm is on average. . .probably jabberwock as long as towa's in a good mood? (or maybe warm jabberwock winters mean towa's in a bad mood. . .?)

(between 11am and 4pm)

"The cold can go to hell, but I guess there's outfits you can only wear this time of year..."

you can wear whatever you want whenever you want if you're brave enough. but this is kaito and he's not very brave. and it's also not very smart to wear winterwear in the summer.

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"I really want to go to Starbucks for the new winter drink! But I really really don't want to go on any missions!! Guess I'll never get to try it."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Gram... No... No more mandarins... ...Huh?! Oh, it was just a dream... I haven't had a mandarin for ages..."

'gram' in this case is 'grandma' in case you couldn't figure it out haha and the mandarin(mikan)'s used to represent health and longevity and a long prosperous bloodline or something like that for new years. So i assume his grandmother would feed him a lot of mandarins every winter lolol

His birthday: (December 11th)

"Why did Jin, Tohma, and Luca give me all this high-end stuff?! It's freaking me out!! Thank you!?!?"

EVEN JIN AND TOHMA GAVE HIM GIFTS. . .FROSTHEIM FAM IS REAL. . . .

Your birthday:

"Happy birthday, {PC}! We'll make this the best one— Hey, give those back! Those are the cue cards I made yesterday!!"

ksjfkhesbfjh he made himself cue cards to give you a birthday speech with as little stuttering as possible. . . .

New Years: (January 1st)

"Happy New Year! Let's make it a good one! S-So hey, if, er, if you'd like, c-could we, um... could we make our first shrine visit together?"

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"C'mon Kaito, deep breaths. Girls aren't into guys with no chill. So stay cool... Stay— Are those chocolates for me?! I'll take them to my grave!"

everyone loves an enthusiastic boy lol

White Day: (March 14th)

"Do you like the cookies I made? Come on, no way they're that good, heh heh... Heh heh heh... Here, take them all!!"

god i bet he makes really good sweets too. like i bet he puts so much love and good spirit into them lolol

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"I'd never lie to a girl. Ah! That's not a lie, I swear! {PC}? Are you listening?!"

BAD THING TO SAY ON APRIL FOOL'S ABORT MISSION

Halloween: (October 31st)

"Trick or treat! See those carved pumpkins? I was actually the one who made them. What do you think?"

given his DIY skills i bet he's actually really good at carving too. i bet they look really good!

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Hey, uh, {PC}, do you, uh... Do you have any plans for Christmas? I'm actually totally free!"

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"Huh? {PC}? Am I being annoying?! I'm sorry! You're probably busy, right?!"

(13 affinity and above)

"{PC} seems kind of busy... I know! I'll find a video that'll help take her mind off things!"

this one replace the first one after you hit a certain affinity, so it's cute to see that he eventually decides 'i'm not being annoying, they're just busy. i wanna help them' after he gets closer to you. . . .

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"Ah...! Oh my god, you're back!! I'm so happy to see you!!!!  (sob) Please don't leave me again..."

he's so clingy. . .poor guy really missed you, considering you're one of the kindest and most normal people in Darkwick that he associates with. . . . also man 'please don't leave me again' with the whole loop theory stuff. . . .

I THINK I'VE SAID MOST OF MY THOUGHTS THROUGHOUT THIS BUT. He really is a sweetie. He really could have ended up a very plain and 'safe' character, but he's managed to be very charming and entertaining with his struggles and exaggerated behavior, while still being a simple and safe type. Really looking forward to seeing how he plays into the rest of the story, since it seems like his pendant may be kind of important. . . .

[zeltqz]

Hey this is my first time requesting , can you make a angst where hanma treats his girlfriend ( reader ) like shit and cheats on her constantly and the reader loves him so much , but one day reader decides to leave without telling shuji and just leaves a note in their shared apartment and when hanma sees it he realises that he treated reader harshly and tries to find her to apologise but reader doesn't care anymore . Make it angsty pls , sorry if it's too long

a long request calls for a long fic haha

enjoy this 8k long ass fic mwahhhhh

feckless | hanma shuji

/ˈfɛkləs/ lacking initiative or strength of character; irresponsible.

pairing. fwb!hanma x fem!reader

featuring. kazutora hanemiya, hinata tachibana, hanma shuji, takemichi hanagaki

word count. 8.5k

content. hurt/comfort, angst, one sided pining, weed mention, smoking, explicit sexual content, toxic relationship with hanma, he ghosts you alot, and you just take it, low self esteem reader

This particular Thursday afternoon, the sun shines blindingly bright, warming your back as you kick a stone in front of you every step you make. It’s not a far walk to your house from the mall; shopping bags in one hand, phone in the other.

As the sun is setting, the streets are partially empty, minus the few cars driving past, and the silence is deafening.

You stop just at the end of the road, seeing traffic building up across the road towards your house. They must be doing more construction.

With a hefty sigh, you turn the other way, walking down a thick alleyway that runs behind your street. This is only a route you take when you’re in desperate needs. Though it’s much faster than the main street, it’s also smellier and darker. 

You stop in your tracks and that’s when you see it.

A few grunts, thuds, and the sound of what is definitely a fist punching someone in the stomach. The poor guy, around seventeen, maybe, if his school uniform was anything to go off of, was now laying on the floor, clutching his stomach, groaning in pain as someone much taller, lankier, makes a show of dropping to sit on his back.

He idly smokes a cigarette like he isn’t currently stopping the flow of oxygen and blood of the poor guy beneath him.

“How boring ,” he sighs, lifting the cigarette from his lips to blow a puff of smoke into the air. “Thought you’d be able to entertain me with all that shit you was talkin’.”

“I—argh—I can’t breathe—”

“Hmmm,” the guy hums and the sound vibrates through the alley, rippling it’s way through your body. “And what do you expect me to do ‘bout that?”

The boy couldn’t verbally respond, nor formulate a perfect sentence, only able to respond in grunts and groans and the sound of his lungs desperately searching for air.

If you don’t step in, you’d have to live with yourself forever, knowing you just witnessed this man commit a murder and nothing was done about it.

It takes a moment to uncurl your fingers from the shopping bag, your body trembling, feet heavy as your lungs match the jagged, unsteady rhythm of your breathing before you’re walking over towards the man.

Stopping right next to him, it feels like forever until he lazily turns his head to look up at you.

His eyebrow arches, face filled with nothing but interest as he lets his eyes rake down your body.

It’s like he knows he’s making you uncomfortable, because the corner of his lips twitch upwards into a smile when you shift uneasily on your feet.

“And you are?” His voice is slack and lazy, dragging his words on sluggishly as he blinks at you.

It feels like minutes, hours, days have passed with how long it takes your brain to co-operate with you. “I���I’m—”

The poor dude on the floor tries to lift the guy off his back, gathering every inch of strength he has left in his weak body to try shrug him off, but the sadist on top of him only raises his hand (and it is huge, what the fuc—), and slams it down on his head, applying pressure until his chin smacks painfully against the floor.

“Can’t you see the young lady is tryna speak?” He asks him before letting go of his head, removing his cigarette from his lips, holds them with two fingers and you watch as he brings the cigarette in front of his eyes. The orange lit bud at the end sends flickers of ash into the air. “Do your eyes me to burn some energy into ‘em? Huh?”

Your stomach churns distressingly at the mental image painted into your brain. Everything moves in slow motion, he’s moving the cigarette downwards to the man’s eyes before you step in. “Leave him alone! Th—this isn’t funny!”

“It’s not?” He shrugs his shoulders. “It seems pretty fun t’me.” His body twists round to face you, still sitting heavily atop of the man, and it’s surprising how he hasn’t lost his breath yet. “You’re not havin’ fun?”

“No.” Your response comes quickly, more stern that you initially planned, and his eyes widen marginally. “This is sick what you’re doing. Just—let him go.”

He raises his brow again, confused at who you think you are to order him around. Then he notices you aren’t as confident as you make yourself out to be; your hands tremble against the bag you were holding.

Sighing heavily, he stands up and the poor boy lets out the biggest exhale of his life. You’re about to rush over to him and ask if he’s okay but your feet remain planted in place as he walks over to you.

He’s so tall, looming above you that the lump in your throat hardens, making it harder to swallow, and even more harder to speak. You would’ve ran away by now if it wasn’t for the pitiful fact that your feet were heavy, sinking deeper into the ground by the second.

“I let him go free. See?” He looks over his shoulder at the boy who’s struggling to run away with the limited oxygen supply in his lungs. Eventually, he manages to scramble his way out from the alley, leaving the two of you alone. “So, what’re you gunna gimme in exchange?”

“I…do you want money? Because I spent all of it.” His eyes drop downwards to your bag, and you only clutch it harder once you see the glimmer of mischief in his eyes.

“Lemme see.”

“No. It’s mine—hey !” He snatches the bag from what you thought was your tight grip with so much ease it makes you question your strength, and begins rummaging through it.

Your cheeks burn hot as he digs through the bag. Of course the day you had decided to go underwear and bra shopping was the day you get potentially robbed by a hoodlum.

“Oooh,” he hums with glee, his voice doing wonders to stress you out even more. Between his fingertips,  he pulls out a lacy bra, wiggling it in his grasp. “Someone’s naughty.”

“Give it back!” You try to reach for it, but unfortunately for you, he has quicker reflexes—insanely long arms that stretch over his head, and yours. 

It’s almost sickening how amused he is by this situation, watching you jump upwards like a rabbit, desperately trying to get your bra back. Something warm buzzes through his chest, makes him far too interested in seeing how far he can push you before you tip over the edge.

“I like you a lot.” His hand descends and you take this moment to snatch it back quickly, stuffing it inside your bag with a pout.

“Well, I don’t like you,” you spit back, glaring at him as hard as you can because who (???) does he think he is. 

“You’re going to.” He leans forward until you’re stepping backwards to avoid him.

His hand darts out, grabs the back of your head and before you know it, his lips are on yours, sucking obscenly at your bottom lip till you feel it swelling. He’s kissing you quick and fast, and you barely have time to react, not when his tongue shoves itself deep into your mouth, swirling around yours. He tastes like cigarettes, and the faint smell of tobacco nudges itself into your mouth as he all but sucks the saliva from your tongue with his needy mouth.

Your hands rise to push him off but he’s pulling away before you can.

He smiles down at you, wolfish, and evil, yet boyishly charming, with spit soaked lips. 

Hanma Shuji—he introduces himself as— ends up following you home despite your recurring complaints, telling him to fuck off  and die. He only reponds with a giggle that grates your eardrums everytime the high pitched sound leaves his lips. It’s a miracle you live alone, because your parents would most definitely disown you for bringing someone like him into their house.

“What an adorable home,” he says into your apartment as he steps inside the tiny space.

“Yeah…ok.” You tug your shoes off and leave the door open behind you. “Can you go now?”

He shakes his head with a tut, handing rising to point at the bag on your side. “Not till you gimme a lil’ fashion show.”

“I—” You purse your lips and look down at the bag. The lacy lingerie you bought earlier practically taunts you, making you regret ever leaving your house this morning to go buy it. “Absolutely not! I don’t even know you.”

His face goes blank and he stares at you, unbothered, like he didn’t just ask you for such an outrageous request. “And?”

“And?” You scoff in disbelief at the fact you even have to explain such a simple concept to him. “And, I’m not going to show a stranger my—”

He sighs, long and heavy, and you instantly shut up at the sound. There’s a disappointed look on his face. “And here I thought you were interestin’.”

“Wha—” Your complaint dies in your throat, and you blink dumbly up at the man in front of you. “Y—you thought I was interesting?”

No one’s ever called you interesting before.

He shrugs his shoulders, arms folding across his chest. “No one else woulda had the guts to stop me earlier so yeah , thought you was really interestin’ and different.” His low sigh is filled with nothing but disappointment and you can’t help the hollow feeling in your chest as it slowly eats away at you. “Turns out you’re another borin’ prude like everybody else.”

The gravity of his words hit you like a truck, and you frown slightly, knowing this is how he perceives you. A boring prude. 

Being someone with not a lot of friends, being called boring isn’t something new to you, having heard it almost all your life, you’re practically immune to being affected by it. But being called boring by someone like him seems to hurt more than any other time. Maybe it’s because for a second, he was the only person you met that actually thought you weren’t boring, that you were different than everybody else, that you had enough guts to stand up to him despite trembling the entire time.

Holding onto that thought, you bite your lip and glance back down to your bag, then sigh. “Follow me.”

You kick the door closed and begin to walk to your bedroom. Though you can’t see the feral smile on his face, you can most definitely feel it, as well as the feeling of his eyes shamelessly raking itself down the length of your body from behind as you lead him further into your apartment.

Pushing him onto the bed, you order him to stay there. “I’m going to change.” 

He lays flat on the bed, lounging on it like it’s his own, not even bothering to remove his shoes. You stare at him blankly for a couple seconds when he says, “Go on then.”

Rolling your eyes, you head over to your bathroom and change.

It feels weird, changing for a man you haven’t known for longer than an hour at best, you think as you begin to strip your clothes off. Wearing something this explicit in front of somebody else takes months—maybe even years—of trust and you’re throwing all that away just because he called you interesting. Not even pretty. Interesting.

So far, Hanma’s managed to light a cigarette and is currently smoking it as you step out of the bathroom, standing awkwardly and scratching your arm lightly as you wait for him to say something.

His eyes blink their way down your body, mind and thoughts going wild as his tongue darts out to lick at his lips. “C’mere.”

You take a couple steps forward till you’re beside your bed, toes doing a jittery dance on the soft, fuzzy rug the longer you watch him watch you. His hand moves quickly, tugging you forward onto the bed. 

It’s barely enough time to react, but you stop yourself before you face plant onto the bed. Manhandling you on top of him, his big, warm hands grip onto your hips. A thick cloud of smoke blows into your face, and you cough, swatting at the air. He’s shamelessly dragging his eyes down your neck, pressing light touches to the curve of your breast and softly kneads the cup of the bra into his hand.

Unable to hold back (as much as you try fight it), soft moans leave your mouth, and you have no other choice but to bite your lip to conceal it.

“Little Miss Perfect, hm?” He grins from ear to ear as your face flushes from his touches.

“I’m—um. I’m not perfect.”

“Yes you are.” He’s adjusting you on his lap, and you gasp when he grinds your hips down his erection. The feel of it digs into the curve of your thighs. “Hiding all this from me, huh?”

He’s gesturing to your half naked body, and you frown. “I wasn’t hiding anything—” It’s hard to concentrate on your words when he's running his hands along your body, lower back, then grips firmly onto your ass. “It’s called wearing clothes—”

He kisses your smart mouth before you could finish talking, all rough and eager with his tongue sweeping into your mouth with fervour. His hand rests behind your head, steadily holding you there as he invades your mouth. Mindlessly, your hands reach up to hold the sides of his face, moaning ever so quietly into his mouth. He��s grabbing you by the hair and pulls you backwards before forcing your head up to stare at the ceiling so he can bend down to suck down the column of your throat.

It’s a ticklish feeling, his warm lips against your skin, sucking and biting his way down your body.

“Mmm, flip over f’me.” He watches you shuffle off his lap onto his bed, resting your head against your pillows as you lay on your back.

Picking up the cigarette he dropped on your bedside table, he fits it between his lips once more as he shifts his way between your legs. The sight beneath him makes him groan and digs his palms into the fat of your thighs as he spreads your legs. 

“Remove your bra.”

More smoke fills the air as you sit up to tug the straps of your bra down and off your body, throwing the lacy fabric onto the end of the bed. Seeing your bare tits makes him groan, instatnly reaching out to grab and squeeze painfully at them.

Your face scrunches up as he fondles them, and takes another drag from his cigarette. “You a virgin?”

“No.”

“Hm.” He blows the smoke out and continues to knead your breast, brushing his thumbs past your nipple. “You single?”

Your lip quivers as the ticklish feeling of his thumb rolling your nipple around fills your veins. “Y—yes.”

He nods, blowing another stream of smoke towards you, flicking his thumb across your hardening nub. He watches you, eyes roaming down the rest of your body, pausing at your panties.

With slow deliberation, he spreads your legs apart, grazing his finger down your slit, barely crossing the barrier of the fabric and your folds. Your breath catches at the touch, letting out a stifled moan as he glides two fingers inside you, slowly stretching you open.

At your quick gasp, his eyes glance back up at yours, studying your expression intently, listening for any sounds that might betray the pleasure he brings you.

You lift yourself off the bed, positioning yourself closer to him and he leans down for a deeper kiss. Your legs wrap around his hips, feeling how large he really is compared to what you’ve been used to.

He lays you back flat on your back, he spreads your legs wider and you press your palm against the mattress to steady yourself. Gripping onto your hip, he grinds his cock into your inner thigh, slick against your own dampness.

“Fuck,” he pants heavily, capturing your mouth again, scraping his teeth agaisnt your lower lip.

Nibbling on his tongue, you reach downwards to his crotch, sticking your hand down his pants and twist your hand against his shaft, twirling the sensitive head around. 

His body tenses under your touch. “Are you on birth control?” He asks without looking at you, eyes only on your hands moving inside his pants.

“Yes.”

He clicks his tongue, looking fairly irritated and bored. “Boring.”

A sudden wave of panic flows through you, and you quickly refute your statement. “I mean, yes but I haven’t taken it in a while. Is that…okay?”

He doesn’t seem interested in answering your question. Instead, his breathing grows heavier and heavier as his hips grind into your touch. Grunts occasionally leave his mouth as his muscles tighten as you begin jerking him faster.

Turning your head slightly, you latch onto his collarbone and neck, pressing light kisses into the skin, hot and bothered at the fact he’s this worked up already.

“Just fucking do it,” he whispers harshly, referring to the hickies you so desperately want to leave on his skin. His fingers tese gently at your clit, giving you the thrill you need to suck hard on his neck.

Swallowing dryly, you dig your nails into his shoulder and rub your hand against the thick shaft of his cock faster. Shifting to the side, you bring your forehead to his and run your nose across his sharp jawline. There’s a sharp intake of breath before his grip around your hip relaxes, pulling himself away, he flips positions till you’re straddling him and pulls his cock out to stand tall against your abdomen. 

“Holy shit, baby,” he growls as you slip inside and ride him in earnest. 

He grips onto your hips and holds onto you roughly as he bounces you along his length, impaling you onto his cock. You feel your body tense up as you reach the edge, pushing against his cock in search of release and squeal into his mouth as your fingers work frantically to stroke your clit.

You scream loudly by his ear, louder than you initially planned to, as you climax. There’s no way you expected someone to make you cum so hard in such a short span of time.

Hanma’s holding onto you so tight you can feel every movement of his hips and cock buried deep inside you, hands gripping your waist firmly to prevent you from sliding off. His tongue latches onto the sensitive underside of your breast, licking hungrily and working up at the intensity of your climax until it takes over completely, overriding all rational thoughts and giving into it’s demanding grasps as his cock continues to thrust inside you.

There’s no real sound left in your lungs as you gulp deeply into his mouth, little gasps of his name escaping your lips as your second orgasm hits its peak. 

Hanma’s mouth forms an O against your nipple when you clench around his cock again, running his tongue along your breast and biting at it as you thrash above him, hips stuttering and twitching eractically as your body tries to recover from the overstimulation.

His breathing comes quicker and his heart pounds wilder, filled with nothing but adrenaline, no doubt the cause of the strength of your climax. You tighten your legs around his waist, loving the feeling of  hugging his larger body against yours as his cock plunges relentlessly into yours.

When he thrusts deep inside you again, filling your insides with warmth and fullness, you whimper at the wet squelch of his cum splattering against your walls. 

You flop forwards onto his chest, a droplet of sweat rolling down the side of your face and panting loudly, wanting nothing more than to curl up in his arms.

“That was good,” he murmurs, and you yelp when he smacks your ass playfully.

The smack vibrates along your flesh, sending goosebumps to cover your entire body.

“Was that ‘boring’ enough for you?” You tease, lifting your face from his neck to stare into his eyes.

He shakes his head, rolling his hips upwards to shut you up once more. His fingers reach downwards, rubbing your slit to coat his fingertips with your juices before bringing it up to his lips, and you watch with wide eyes and parted lips as he sucks the wetness off. 

He brushes his lips against yours. “You taste sweet,” he mutters, nipping at your bottom lip.

You shiver, meeting his kisses with your own, pressing into his mouth. 

“Mmm,” he sighs into your mouth, flicking your tongue with his before pulling away to grab his half diminished cigarette from your bedside table and takes a drag from it.

He leans backwards and scoops you up, tucking you beneath his arm as you lay on his chest. A bright smile crosses his features as you snuggle into his bigger body, but then disappears, looking troubled. He shakes his head slightly, eyes darting towards the corner where his discarded clothes lay.

The smell of smoke becomes too much for you and you pull yourself from his arms, wandering to your closet to fetch some clothes. You change into your pyjamas then go grab your clothes from earlier from your bathroom floor and hang them back into your closet.

He watches you with amused eyes. “C’mere.”

Bending up to pick up his remaining clothes, you toss them to the end of your bed and flop back into the bed with him. His eyes rake up and down your body appreciatively, intently focused on your nipples through your shirt, as you crawl in front of him.

“Let’s get some food,” he suggests, reaching over to your drawer to grab a takeout pamphlet.

You both decide on Chinese and eat it sitting on the couch, facing the TV. Hanma slides closer to you on the leather after he’s finished his own food, and rests his hands on your thighs, his gaze lingering on your mouth as you’re in the midst of chewing a spring roll. 

“I wanna bite those pretty lips again,” he says, pulling the chopsticks away from your hands.

“But I’m hungry,” you frown at the idea of your food getting cold because this motherfucker cannot control his erections. 

He leans forward till you’re laying on your back against the couch and grinds his cock against your half spread legs. 

“Just a quickie, I promise.” he whispers before letting out a heavy sigh when he rolls his hips just right against your pussy.

You know from the looks of him, and his personality, that he’s not the type of guy to mean his promises, and you tell him so, watching as his grin broadens, stretching wider and wider until it cracks his cheeks, making his handsome features nearly unrecognizable.

He ends up sleeping over that night and you spend the rest of Saturday with Hanma makes it his job to come over to your house every other weekend late at night. He’s finally found someone that entertains him, and you found someone that thinks you’re entertaining. Sure enough, you have more common sense to know the way he treats you is sub par. You know him showing up in the middle of the night to fuck you isn’t fair but you don’t fight back, just allow him to practically use your body as a cum dumpster.

That’s actually his favourite nickname for you, cumdump (you frowned and complained when you saw yourself as that in his contacts). There’s also: babe, baby, princess, but he doesn’t call you that unless he’s trying to kiss and goad his way into sleeping with you when you’re in a bad mood, and it always feels very condescending. Everytime he makes you cry with his words, or actions, he’s wiping your tears then kissing you softly to calm you down. Once you’re back in his arms, he’s fucking you, maybe two , three more times until he’s satisfied with how much cum he’s left inside you.

He’s outside all the time . As much as you hope it’s an exaggeration, it’s not. The only times you see him is when he wants you to see him. He’s gone a whole month without contacting you before, and it left you crying everytime you click back on your messages with him, refreshing every five seconds to see if he’s responded to the many texts you’ve spammed him with.

Just leave him , your brain tells you; Hina tells you. And you’ve tried. Once, you told Shuji if he leaves for a long period of time again, then it’s over. 

Of course he didn’t take you seriously, so you blocked him. Then after a few weeks, he started texting you from a burner phone.

I miss u

Can I see u?

Everything inside you crumbled when you saw the messages, and he showed up to your house, high, on a Sunday evening. You can’t remember what he saaid, or what he did, but you found yourself kissing him and pulling him into your house. 

The smell of weed was strong as he tore your panties off, devouring your pussy with his lips and fingers before he fucked you, thrusting into you over and over again.

He flips you over onto your stomach, bending you over the armrest, pressing your body down as he fucked his cock into you from behind, grunting and groaning everytime your pussy clenched around his cock.

“Fuck yes, like that!” you yell over and over again, uncaring of the loud volume of your moans and the slap on slap skin ringing through the thin walls of your apartment.

When you came, you hear him holding back noises, eyes shut as he clutches your ass tight, making sure you don’t squirm away as he fills you with as much cum as possible.

That was a week ago, and of course he hasn’t spoken to you since then, nor has he replied to any of your messages.

You wake up to him on a Saturday morning after a drunk night together. His sleeping features are illuminated by the bright sunlight shining through your open windows. Your cheek rests against his shoulder, mouth half-open and his arm is thrown loosely over you.

It feels nice being here, feeling safe and warm in his arms. Even though he left a week ago, he still manages to fill you with joy, arousal and comfort. In fact, it wouldn’t be a lie to say you couldn’t imagine life without him.

You hum absently, yawning as you rub your tired eyes. All those recent incidents have left you feeling all sorts. Everything about him changed, the games he plays and his attitude towards you. How many times have you been used by him and treated like dirt, thrown away like garbage?

You’ll never forget the time he came to your house ready to fuck you with a fresh, red hickey on his neck.

“Who fucking gave you that, Shuji?” You ask suspiciously, removing his wrist to inspect the red mark. “Why do you keep coming here? Are you really interested in me?”

“Does it matter?” He responds with a blank face.

His purple eyes usually sparkled with lust and arrogance, now fuelled with indifference and confusion. For the first time in your life, you felt hollowed out and alone.

“If it didn’t matter, why would I ask?” You retort.

He smiles thinly, tilting his head slightly. His lips part as if to speak, then close again, a slight frown etched onto his brow.

“Are you okay?” You notice and reach up smooth his messy hair back. 

“You talk too fuckin’ much,” he answers, ignoring your offended face to lean forward to press his lips against yours.

At first you hesitated, unsure whether or not he was serious, but he pushes harder, moving his hands to cup your cheeks, thumbs rubbing the delicate skin at your temples.

You instinctively wrap your legs around him, opening your mouth to kiss him back. As you lean into him, he groans, slipping his hands down your sides and clutching at your ass. A moan escapes his throat as his tongue darts into your mouth, forcing your body to twist against his, toes curling as he presses into you, grinding his—what seems so—permanement erection into your pelvis.

You try your best to stay awake while staring at the walls of the motel room he paid for to cheer you up. Staring blankly at the small details, the painted lines that slowly become blurred, blending into one another until they all look the same. It almost looks like black smoke unless you blink and make out certain colours. 

You close your eyes to fixate on Hanma instead, seeing his tattoos, hearing his soothing voice as he whispers naughty things to you, half asleep.

You sigh deeply, scratching your cheek lightly. “Where the hell is my phone?” You say aloud, wincing at the sudden pain in your thighs from being fucked so hard.

Fumbling around the drawer, you grab the first phone and clutch it close to your chest, inhaling sharply when you unlock it. The lockscreen is different and you instantly realise it’s Hanma’s. The phone has no password because it’s his burner, but something tells you to check his messages and see tons of texts and nude pictures sent from a girl to that number.

Swinging your legs off the bed, you scoot backwards and put on your shoes.

A wave of nausea crashes into your stomach, heart lurching painfully in your chest as you feel a cold sweat begin to form along your forehead. Your limbs shake as you cross the room, grab your stuff and clutch the doorknob of the motel. Your steps falter for a moment, but you steady yourself and push through the doors, onto the pavement.

Once you hit the late night streets, you feel your breathing start to return to normal, stomach relaxing, shaky legs returning back to normal.

You hurry past the car park, crowded with cars all over and walk quickly to the corner. You see a bus stop sign inddicating you should walk the opposite direction. Instead of walking south, you turn north, going whichever direction feels right because you honestly have no clue how to get home. There aren’t many people this late at night, only a few people strolling around and there are none on the buses at this hour.

Scanning the buildings along the streets, you keep your gaze alert, looking for any signs that say Harajuku Station.

Eventually, you give up, and pull out your phone, swiping away from Hanma’s messages and clicking on Hina’s contact.

Hey can we meet? I just really need a friend right now. Can you come get me?

Hina responds almost instantly: :) okay! Send me your location!

Hina will understand why you need help, won’t judge you or question your motivations. She knows it’s personal, and she’s probably been thinking of ways to let you out of your predicament for weeks now. 

What’s most important to you is the people you surround yourself with. Hina is your only friend, and you love her, but Shuji managed to come in and steal all common sense from you. It feels empty knowing that the only person you have a connection with is Shuji, that you don’t have anyone to fall back on for support, no one to depend on. Just a couple months ago, you were ecstatic to find someone who wasn’t a bad influence in your life, who actually cared about you. But now? Your life is shattered into pieces, the foundations crumbled, broken and buried underneath piles of rubble.

When you get to Hina’s place, Takemichi is there also, but seeing a crying girl makes him panic and he leaves to give you both space. Not soon after he leaves the house, you burst into tears and tell Hina everything; from how Shuji’s mentally ruined you, his cheating, how you can’t help but go back to him each time because you’re addicted to the way he makes you feel. Hina coos softly, nodding and comforts you with hugs and words of assurance. 

She suggests that you leave him, citing what happens to the ones who continue staying with him and ends the conversation with an earnest ‘please’. 

“I have someone for you that can treat you better,” she suggests once you’ve calmed down a bit.

“Who?”

“His name is Kazutora. He’s one of Michi’s friends. If you want, I can introduce you to him if you want?”

Afterwards, you tell her you’ll think about it and she gets her boyfriend to drive you back home. You spend the night on the couch, too busy to go to your room and Hina makes you some hot tea to soothe your sore throat.

Everytime you attempt to think of this Kazutora guy, but you find yourself reliving those moments with Hanma again and again. It’s a vicious cycle, one that’s becoming unbearable. Your brain remembers all of them, even those bits where you thought you might die and got laid afterwards. Your hormones churn, taking complete control of your body, heart rate soaring, blood pressure rising and no amount of alcohol or drugs could help alleviate the physical sensations caused by your years.

You spend the next week laying on the couch, curled into a fuzzy blanket, body soaked in fatigue, guilt and sorrow before Hina helps you get your shit together. Introducing yourself to Kazutora was awkward, but eventually you two got closer as the weeks pass by. 

Still no contact from Shuji.

After a nice date with Kazutora, he takes you home and plants a kiss on your cheek before heading on his merry way. It’s not until you’re removing your makeup in your bathroom when you hear a knock on the door, drawing your attention.

You shuffle towards the door, peeking through the peephole before freezing, nerves running wild. 

What does he want? Did he change his mind? You hope that maybe he’s coming back to apolgoise for being gone for almost a month, hoping to gain your forgiveness even though you should be keeping that door locked.

Your vision narrows to an area directly in front of you, like it’s telescoping inward, slowly reducing your sight until only Hanma is visible. 

Heart pounding heavily, pushing blood through your veins faster than you’d like, your body fills with thick tension and anxiety. 

There’s another knock on the door when you take too long to open, this time harder and louder.

“Coming,” you call, voice wavering slightly, trying your hardest to sound confident, like all the progress you’ve spent healing weren’t about to crumble the second he steps inside your place.

Shuji enters, carrying himself with ease and confidence. He stands in the doorway, surverying the room. The air in the room instantly changes, the stale air swirling around and leaving behind it a thick cloud of moisture. Hanma’s features soften, taking on a pensive expression as he begins to enter the apartment.

He notices a pair of male sneakers resting in the hallway and his jaw tightens, brow furrowing, and arms folding across his chest as he scans the interor of your room. Your clothes law strewn across the floor, tossed haphazardly around the living room, abandonded before you had a chance to pick them up from your previous night with Kazutora

Tension builds in your stomach once you realise what he’s seen, fear welling up inside you, making it difficult to swallow.

Slowly, he turns around to take in your position, glaring daggers at you through narrowed eyes. 

His eyes bore holes through you, and there’s an intense fire burning hot and deep within them. If you squinted, you’d swear that the red flames emanating from them are mocking you.

“Get on the bed.” He commands quietly, and his not-so-harsh tone does nothing but scare you even more.

You mindlessly obey, treading carefully, like the calm before the storm. He snatches your chin and tips your head up to examine your features closely. “Spread your legs.”

You lift your skirt up and pull your panties down, spreading your legs as instructed. Taking a step forward, he stares at you with anger and disdain. “How long has this been goin’ on?” His eyebrows draw together when he sees you fumble with words. “Have you been sleeping with him since the beginning?”

Tears sting at your eyes, lips trembling as you hesitate, strugglign to form a reply. 

“Answer me,” he demands loudly, tightening his gips on your chin.

“Just—just the last couple days—” you whisper nervously, biting your bottom lip, taking a quick glance at the bed. “I’m sorry—”

He shoves you down onto the mattress, standing over you with menacing slowness. 

“Shut up.” He grows lowly, tanking down your shirt and shoving it roughly to your neck, ignoring the way it rips beneath your skin and throws your bra to the floor.

Your nipples ache painfully from the aggression, yearning to be touched and caressed. All thoughts of apologising forgotten as his grip clenches and pulls, eliciting a sharp gasp from your lungs.

Your squirm under his hold, eyes darting to his face and pleading for him to remove his hands. It seems as if he senses your desperate plea, unclenching his hold just enough for you to breathe. His dark, brooding gaze drops to your naked body and lingers, analyzing you intently.

“Did he ever tell you how much he loves you?” he asks quietly, licking his lips, eyes following the movement of your breasts, rising and falling with each uneven breath you take. “Did he make you feel good?”

Nerves pulse through your body, goosebumps breaking out along your skin. You know what’s happening is wrong, this isn’t supposed to happen, yet somehow you still enjoy the feeling.

Tilting your head, you attempt to ignore his questions and press your lips against his nose, kissing it once.

“ Don’t .” He snarls, tightening his hold and pulls you closer to him. “Don’t answer me. Because if I find out he did, I wouldn’t be able to control myself.”

Eyes squeeze shut, mouth pulled into a firm line, you bite your tongue hard and clamp your teeth down on it to keep silent. Your hands fly to cover your face as he slams his cock into you, kissing you hard and forceful. This is the moment you’re not sure you’ll be able to comeback from, if you let him fuck you, you’re unsure you’ll be able to face Kazutora anymore. But the way his tongue pushes its way between your lips, touching the tip to your own and sliding it along the roof of your mouth have your thoughts going hazy and you give in.

His movements are fast, controlled, seductive, and deadly. He knows what he’s doing, and uses the knowledge of your body to his full advantage, never allowing you to relax or remove his stranglehold on your neck.

And then you feel him, everywhere at once. It’s so overwhelming feeling his cock split you open with each painful thrust, sending an electric current surging through your body. The bed shakes with every thrust and he pulls out to flip you over. Your hips writhe rhythmatically, anticipating the moment he slams back into you before you have a better idea.

You change the positions, pushing him down to the bed and straddle him. He looks at you, chest heaving and eyes glazed with lust.

“Touch me,” he whispers huskily, lacing his fingers through yours and gently guiding your hands upwards, pressing them against his torso. “Feel how hard you make me, baby.”

You slide your palms over his smooth, warm skin, muscles twitching with each stroke as you travel downwards. You slip your fingers underneath the hem of his sweatshirt and trail them upwards, carressing and massaging the ridges of his abs. Goosebumps break out on his flesh, skin rippling with every touch you give, becoming slick with perspiration.

“If you see him again,” he pants when you begin to jerk his cock, looking down at him with those eyes that drive him crazy. “I’ll fuckin’ kill him and make you watch.”

You freeze and tears stream down your cheeks, soaking your jawling and dripping off your chin when you realise he’s being serious. 

“What do you mean?” you ask weakly, shaking your head, trying to clear it. You wipe the tears away quickly, and hold his stare. “A—are you threatening me?”

You start moving your hands away, and immediately he grabs them again and places them back on his cock, watching in rapt attention as he guides your hands to continue stroking him.

“You fuckin’ heard me,” he says lowly, growing agitated. “Don’t you fuckin’ dare see him.”

His grip on your hand grows tighter and more painful.

“Shu—” you whimper, tugging on his hands to get him to release you. “Let go—”

With a swift push, he flips you over onto your back, catching you effortlessly as you collapse backwards, stunned by his sudden aggressive attitude. Before you have time to react, he’s positioned above you, bent over at the waist, hands digging into your shoulders, exerting downward force.

“Hanma!” you cry out, gripping his shoulders writhing underneath him as he thrusts his cock back inside you. He lifts your hips up and holds you there, arching your back off the bed as you scrabble at the sheets, too overwhelmed with each powerful thrust.

“I hate you,” he growls, smacking his hips against your ass with brute force. “This’ll teach you not to fuck around. You’re—fuck— mine .”

It hurts. So fucking badly. But even after everything, you still love him. It’s painful, and torture, but you find yourself moaning loud and repetitively as he pushes his cock deeper and deeper into you. Every motion sends a new wave of pleasure coursing through your entire body, building up and up until you cannot take it anymore.

In the end, your knees buckle, and he supports your weight, slowing down and withdrawing his erection to cum on your stomach. For the first time since you’ve met him, he didn’t cum inside you. It’s a shock to you as you feel his warm cum on your stomach. 

A groan escapes his throat, one that sounds entirely different from the angry groan from earlier. It’s quiet, hesitant, and filled with regret.

You roll onto your side, gaze seeping across his distorted face. For a brief second, he seems to be looking at you, not seeing anything else but you. Then his eyes dart downwards, following the path of your body to your cum stained stomach.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” he mutters, kissing the corner of your eye and crawling off the bed, disappearing into the bathroom.

As soon as you hear the water running, you begin making your way into the bathroom with him.

Naked and covered in sweat, you want nothing more than to wash away your stress. It seems as if it was just yesterday that he stormed his way into your life, determined to let you know how little you mattered to him. And now? 

Well, you don’t know how to feel anymore. It’s all confusing and disoreientating. 

You step into the shower with Hanma and stand behind him. 

Out of nowhere, he asks, “Do you love me?”

You hesitate for a moment and look down at your feet on the shower floor. “I do…but I don’t want to.”

The harsh words cut him, but his back straightens slightly. His voice turns firm, decisive. “Tell me the truth.”

Closing your eyes tightly, you sigh, opening them again to stare at him. He stares back, almost earnestly, daring you to admit the truth.

Considering the question carefully, you exhale. “Yes. Of course I do.”

His expression shifts instantly, eyes narrowing as his hand drops to his side with the shower head. A slow nod comes forth, as if convincing himself of something important. The shower suddenly falls silent as the water hits the side of the tub instead, and the both of you share the tense silence. It’s uncomfortable, the sound of the water echoing in the empty space.

“But…” You’re the first to break the silence. “I think we should stop seeing each other, Shu. It’s not healthy, what we have.” He stays silent as you continue to speak. “I feel like you’re using me…to satisfy your needs.” 

You look at his back as you wipe a tear from your cheek. “And I stupidly enough grew attached to you. But I want to end it. I—I can’t keep doing this.” Your voice goes quiet at the end and the room is filled with silence again.

The light overhead crackles and fizzles, adding to the already tense environment as the brightness dims. You glance towards the flickering bulb, resting crookedly on the ceiling.

“Okay.” He sighs, turning away. His hand brushes the edge of the shower head as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “Fuck, I shouldn’t have come here today.”

It’s scary to lose him and you can’t breathe properly. And it’s even more scary to admit that maybe he was right, that it wasn’t fair to come here today. A reminder to you how weak and pathetic you really were.

Hanma stands there, turning to face you, leaning against the wall. 

Silent.

Judging.

He waits. Until he feels ready to say what’s bothering him. It’s hard for him to get the words out, but he no longer feels fearful, or ashamed. “I’m sorry.”

His simple words send you flying back into his arms, tears flowing freely as you sob uncontrollably against his neck. He lets you cling to him, bury your face into the space between his shoulder and neck. His arms tighten around you, fingers tracing and scratching lightly along your spine.

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” he admits softly, lifting his hand to tilt your head back to look at you closer. “I’ve been thinking about things lately, and I realised I need to change my attitude towards you.” He rocks you back and forth in his arms, soothingly. “Even if it means ending our relationship. You deserve better.”

“Hanma,” you cry out softly, swallowing down the lump in your throat.  You bury your nose back in his shoulder, inhaling deeply. 

Fuck, he smells wonderful, like sweat and musky cologne, always so overpowering and strong. 

And you realise he still hasn’t told you goodbye.

A part of you wishes you could go on together, sleeping together. It’s not hard to deny you’ve fallen in love with him, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally, to the point where you feel hollow without him. When you’ve lost someone that close to you, it leaves you feeling isolated and lonely.

You’ve never felt more alone. Like everything you had build is collapsing beneath you. 

But another aprt of you yearns for companionship. A partner that reciprocates the same love you give back. Maturing realises that you’ll never get that with Shuji, and as much as you love him, you know it won’t last forveer. 

It would end with you getting hurt. Or worse.

All these thoughts swirl around your mind, clouding your judgement.

“I…can understand why you’d be frustrated with me,” he lets out a dry chuckle, completely humourless. “We’ve grown close in such a short amount of time. It’s fair to cut it off now.” His breath tickles your ear as he presses a kiss to your temple. “It’s obvious we’re not right for each other. We both know it, so why are we still trying?”

Such a good question that you can’t find the answer for. You try to remain calm and collected, fighting the emotions inside you. The light buzz above your head again, casting a strange shadow of your figures over the wall. The water trickles slowly down your skin, creating more goosebumps on your exposed arms and legs.

You wish you could just drown yourself in the vast ocean surrounding you.

Instead, you stay there, in his arms, enjoying the warmth feel of his chest against you, the water stinging your face as the glassy reflection in the shower door remind you of your situation.

Then he says the words you’ve been dreading to hear. 

“I’m leaving.”

He speaks it directly into your ear, with a slight edge of nervousness creeping into his voice.

You stay still, body rooted in place, holding onto him for support as he continues, “I’ll make sure you’re okay. I’m not gonna abandon you, so don’t fall off the deep end, alright?” 

His hand cups your chin, tilting your head back up to stare into your eyes. A soft smile plays on his lips, water drops falling off the tip of his nose as he looks down at you with a slight light in his eyes.

And in that moment, you decide.

“Hanma,”

He blinks at you and you notice the dark circles under his eyes, due to the lack of sleep and exhaustion.

You lean forward and kiss him passionately, wrapped tight in his arms, heart thumping widely in your chest.

“Say goodbye to me, Shuu,” you whisper, biting your bottom lip as his lips graze your forehead, planting soft kisses across your eyelids and cheeks.

He finally gives in, parting his lips and speaking softly into your ear. 

“Goodbye, baby.”

For a split second, you kind of expected him to say ‘I love you’ or perhaps some sort of heartfelt goodbye that’ll make you break down in tears. Instead, he presses a final kiss to your jawline, whispering, “Have fun,” before slipping out of the shower.

You stay in the bathroom as you hear him pack up his stuff and get dressed.

Silence reigns supreme once he’s gone, a weight hanging over your shoulders. The tears fall freely, silently, as your mind races. Should you stay with Shuji and let Kazutora go? Would Kazu forgive you? Could he forgive you?

You blink the tears away and step out of the shower, drying yourself up before dressing up. You attempt to go to the living room to Hanma off when you hear your doorbell ring. 

Hanma is finishing dressing up as you walk over to the door, towel in arms to dry your hair. 

You open the door and see Kazutora waiting, flowers in hand, staring down at you. 

“Hey,” you answer sheepishly, forgetting he told you he’s coming to get you tonight.

Kazutora purses his lips. “Are you ready to go out now? You’re not dressed yet.”

Before you can respond, Hanma slips past the door, clutching his phone in hand. He glances between you and Kazutora and frowns, tempted to say something but stops himself, because he knows you deserve better.

“Yeah, sorry I took so long. Hanma wanted to give me something before I left.”

Kazutora knows you’re both lying, but nods and smiles faintly. The redness in your eyes is telling enough.

Your relationship/friendship with Hanma isn’t just shallow, it’s unhealthy. But then again, Kazutora did tell you that if you plan on becoming something, you shouldn’t be fucking Hanma, nor letting him in your life.

“Alright, then.” Kazutora nods and takes a step backwards to let Shuji pass. 

Hanma makes it halfway down the steps of your apartment before Kazutora calls his name. “Thanks, Shuji.”

Hanma shares one more look at you, biting your lip to stop it trembling, and fights the urge to scoop you up from the floor and take you home with him. But he stops himself. “Yeah, whatever.”

[prentissluvr]

sammy brain rot hours:

feminism leaves my body when i look at sam winchester,, wanna be a good lil housewife for him (!!!) (like im their bobby yk? mostly doing research from the bunker, joining on hunts occassionally) welcome him home with a kiss and home cooked meals (idk how to cook proper food) and and and bombard him with love and force him to take a day’s break after each hunt ,, cuddle him , go with him on walks (god pls) ,, listen to his nerd talk

i deserve it 😭

thank u for listening to me yap

-mwuah 💋

GIRL YOU ARE SO TRUE FOR THIS AND I MEAN THAT !!! i love this for you actually, like this is facts of you to say and it's so valid and yeah! i think that's the real stuff. and like there's actually so so much merit to that kind of thing, like bro research is so hard imo HAHA so you'd be so strong for that. and yeah who's to say you can be a badass hunter when you want to be! but like bro i think it'd be nice not to have to do all that travel and hard physical labor of yk killing stuff and almost getting killed. and then yeah!! that means you're likely far more well rested than sammy when he gets home which means that you can take care of him hehehehe.

like him being greeted with a kiss from you after a long drive is just so beyond amazing for him, it's so comforting and relaxing and lord knows that he needs and deserves that. plus you have food from him that's not from a diner?? this must be the real heaven for him. like i also cannot cook for the life of me, but mans loves salad! you could just makes him a simple salad and he'd be so delighted because it has freshly cut apples, his favorite dressing, and non-soggy greens! like how amazing is that! genuinely you could makes the simplest of things (which is the only thing that i personally am capable of LOL) and he'd just be so delighted <3 like anything homemade is such a rarity for him and it's genuinely actually something really really special to him when you make him food and now i'm getting all soft and emotional about the fact that sam's barely had that sort of thing in his life. for some people hand made food is an indicator of home, and we all know that sam has never really had that. anyways crying because you just make the bunker somewhere infinitely better to come back to purely with your presence. on top of that, you make him salads and kiss him sweetly and you make him lay in bed and let him cuddle you to his heart's content. like truly you're such a comfort to him i can't :,)

and walks!! oh god i literally was thinking about how much sam would love love love to go on walks with his partner, genuinely. he loves the fresh air under a circumstance so domestic and normal and it's made a million times better by you. your hand in his makes him feel so calm and it gives him those little pieces of normalcy that he craves, no matter the fact that he'll always choose this life. you give him balance and something pure and good to come home to. and ahhhh yes the nerd talk <333 i'm making heart eyes right now for real. he feels so so so grateful for someone to talk to about all these little random facts of knowledge that he has floating around in his head! in instead of shutting him down or calling him a nerd (well, sometimes you do but it's done so lovingly that he doesn't care) you actually will listen, and even ask him follow up questions! he's just so excited to share things with you <33

argh i love him so bad and i thank you for sending this ask, i'm always so so happy to listen to your yapping hehe i love it <33 but you so got my thoughts flowing so ty for that hehe <33 love it sm fr <33

[jeonqkooks]

our beloved summer (05) | jjk

You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn't as strong as you thought.

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader

genre/warnings: exes au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, drinking, swearing, crying, Sad Boy JK Hours ??, valentino!yoongi bc that should be a whole warning 🥵 even though he's there and not really there for literally 2 seconds lol

rating: PG-15

word count: 9.5k

note: this is the most stressed out i've ever been while trying to post a fic 💀 argh anyway, 2 obs updates in one month ?? is this even real life !! consider this a (lunar) new year's present from me to everyone who celebrates it and also to everyone who doesn't !! idk i'm bad at notes and i'm delirious so that's it 😗

series masterpost / main playlist ; interactive playlist ; moodboards ; taglist

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

Hey, I feel like if we gave it one night You'd hate me less and make it alright Just wish that we could fight now I'd hold you on the comedown

Rockland - Gracie Abrams

One thing about you, is that you don’t do well with change.

After you moved out of the first apartment you got as an adult, you constantly went back to your old neighborhood even though it wasn’t close to your new place. You kept walking those familiar streets, kept shopping at the stores where the workers knew your name. At night, you still pictured yourself living there, with all of your furniture and clothes and decorations that you’ve already emptied from those old bones. Then, you imagined what the new tenant was like, if they could feel the lingering love you had for that apartment. You wondered if they were putting the coffee table you left behind to good use, or if they thought that it looked out of place among all of their belongings and had already thrown it away.

Jimin called you weird for that, but he didn’t know that you always leave a piece of yourself everywhere you go. The biggest pieces, you think, are hidden somewhere in a closet in your childhood bedroom where your mother still lives, and in the tiny space of your dorm room where you spent most of your college years.

It took you more than half a year to finally start considering your new apartment home. 

Because you hate change. Change is scary. Change is walking into a pitch-black tunnel with no flashlight, not knowing what awaits you in the darkness and not knowing if you’ll make it to the other side.

That isn’t to say that change is inherently bad. You’ve experienced good changes before. Arguably, Jungkook was a good change when he went from someone you couldn’t tolerate, to the love of your life back then. You were happy with him, so blissfully happy that for a while, you forgot what it was like to experience any other emotion.

Yoongi has always been your friend. It didn’t take you two very long to become well acquainted with one another and from there, develop a good friendship. You have never thought of him as anything other than a friend. Even when he was your boss, he still felt more like a friend.

As you sit next to him in a bar too empty for your liking – but seems right for a Tuesday night – you feel a palpable shift between the two of you.

When your phone vibrates with a notification, you glance at it only to exhale annoyedly – unclear whether this frustration is directed toward yourself, or the person blowing up your mobile; maybe it’s both. That’s the nth message that Jungkook has sent you in the last couple of hours, and you don’t need to read it to know that it’s probably another iteration of the same apology. How many different ways are there to say “Hey, I’m sorry for fucking the receptionist and then having the balls to tell you that you’re the unprofessional one when you didn’t even do anything.” Apparently a lot, because the texts just keep coming.  

“Jungkook again?” Yoongi asks from beside you. Fuck. You’ve mostly been silently moping since he brought you here, too enmeshed in your own web of muddled thoughts that you forgot he’s someone you need to make amends with too. 

You give him a nod but still continue to stare at the drink in front of you, trying to disentangle your Yoongi thoughts from your Jungkook ones. 

Taking a sip of your drink, your face manages to keep a grimace at bay as the liquid ambushes your tastebuds. You don’t like whiskey, but you need something to hate more than yourself tonight. When you set the glass down, the alcohol sloshes around like a compact sea of your own amber-colored miseries.

“I’m sorry,” you say finally. “This is unfair to you. I don’t know what came over me. I just want you to know that this isn’t me responding to…” To your confession.

“If you’re about to say what I think you’re about to say, then I have to stop you right now.”

“Yoongi…”

“I’m not saying that you can’t turn me down, although I hope you don’t do that,” he chuckles. “I’m just saying that whatever you do, whether you give me a chance or reject me, I want you to decide after you’ve really thought about it, about me.”

You can’t say no to that; it’s only fair. Yoongi knows what he deserves. You haven’t looked at him in any other way, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t. Didn’t you say it yourself, that maybe you should start putting yourself out there? Well, here is someone coming to you before you even have to look anywhere. You may not have expected Yoongi, but then, you didn’t expect Jungkook either.

Yoongi could be the good change you need.

Nevertheless, you want to tell him you’re sorry for the other night. It should be fairly simple, but the words have a hard time dislodging themselves from your throat.

“I’m sorry about what I said that night at dinner… and what I did…”

Yoongi props an elbow on the bar top and leans forward to rest his chin in the palm of his hand, his eyes glimmering with mischief. “Remind me what it is that you did again?”

“Come on, I’m serious.” You are grateful that he’s trying to keep it light, though.

“I’m serious too. I seem to have forgotten.”

“Yoongi…”

“Yes, Y/N?”

You sigh, shutting your eyes momentarily. Recalling the moment makes you flush with embarrassment, bringing a splash of color to your cheeks which Yoongi always seems to enjoy.

In a quiet voice, you say, “I’m sorry for throwing salt at you…”

“You threw salt at me!” He tips his head back, laughing freely. The bartender spares you two a glance at the sudden disruption. “You shouldn’t go around throwing salt at people!”

“Stop laughing! I’m trying to apologize.” You punch his arm out of habit and for a second there, you forget that your relationship with Yoongi isn’t the same anymore. Changed forever.

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop. Jeez, why are you so violent?” He rubs the spot where you hit him, muttering under his breath something about him bruising like a peach. “Apology accepted. No hard feelings.”

“Okay, good. But I still want you to know that if you were expecting anything from tonight…”

Yoongi ruffles your hair with a scoff. “I’m not that dense. Of course I’m not expecting anything.” When you peer at him with curious and unsure eyes, he continues, “Y/N, earlier you looked like you wanted to set the place on fire and Jungkook looked like he was about to shit himself. Tonight, I’m just a friend who’s here for you if you want to vent. We’re just two buddies having a drink, that’s all.”

He makes it sound so simple, while your brain is already going haywire.

Despite yourself, you chuckle at his words. You tell him how much you appreciate it, though you don’t really tell him anything about what happened this afternoon, just that Jungkook said some stuff that pissed you off. You can’t tell him exactly what Jungkook did to anger you without alluding to the confession for which Yoongi is letting you off the hook for now.

“Do you wanna come with me tomorrow?” Yoongi asks.

“Come with you where?”

“I have a shoot with Valentino in the morning.”

“You have a photoshoot not even 12 hours from now and you’re here drinking? Aren’t you gonna wake up puffy or something?”

“Yeah, my manager would kill me if she knows what I’m doing,” he replies casually, like his manager has a telepathic connection with him and she can sense him mocking her over a drink. When people see Agust D, they tend to only see the icy exterior that he dons. That tough, maybe even callous, image has sustained him in the entertainment industry for years. For many, Agust D seems intimidating and unapproachable. That’s how you felt when you first met him too. But after a while, you got to see Min Yoongi, and Min Yoongi is nothing if not warm and tender-hearted, even if he’s a little shit sometimes. At least, that’s what he has always been like to you. “She thinks I’m getting my beauty sleep right now.”

You lightly snort at that, telling him, “Yeah, you need it.”

When you start to yawn, Yoongi calls a driver to drop you off at your place. The ride is mostly silent, because you’re tired and because you’re not sure what to say to Yoongi in the presence of a stranger taking you home. The car pulls up to your building soon enough, and before you can step out and tell him goodnight, he offers to walk you up. He takes the elevator with you to your floor, how gallant but unnecessary. When you reach your door, you wonder whether you should invite him in for a glass of water or something. If this was a week – or even just a couple of days – earlier, you would’ve had no reason to hesitate.  He doesn’t ask if he can come in but instead takes one of your hands.

“I see you’ve been giving yourself some TLC. They’re a lot better now,” he comments, smoothing his thumb over your skin. You’ve been diligent with your hand care routine since he gave you that lotion. It feels nice, and it smells amazing. Besides, your hands were starting to hurt anyway.

Silence descends upon the two of you as you become aware of Yoongi touching you, and the weight of the answer you’ve yet to give him. He must feel you stiffen, because he lets you go and smiles.

“Relax, princess. Get some sleep, you’re the one who needs it. I said I’ll let you think about it, didn’t I? Stop stressing so much.” His index finger taps your cheek playfully, so familiar yet so foreign at the same time. The wink that he tacks on makes you roll your eyes. You watch Yoongi make his way to the elevator, step in and press the button for the ground floor. He maintains eye contact with you as he waits for the doors to shut, and you don’t think you’ve really noticed before how Yoongi carries himself with such confidence and poise even when he’s off-camera. That’s just the kind of person he is and it’s… kind of attractive.

You can’t even fish around in your bag for your keys, you just stand there because he keeps your gaze trained on him. His eyes are alluring even under the shitty lighting of your building’s elevator. Before the lift closes, his voice carries over from the metal box to your door, and you don’t know if it’s the echo of his low timbre in the empty hallway that makes you shiver, or if it’s just Yoongi.

“I’ve waited this long, what’s a little more time?”

One week. This is a record for you and Taehyung.

You’re still baffled by his attitude that night, and no one has cleared anything up for you. He was right, but that doesn’t mean you were wrong. You stand by your initial reaction. Could anyone really blame you for that? In your defense, who the fuck could believe that a worldclass megastar has romantic feelings for them? Not to mention that the person whom the megastar in question has feelings for is you! You, the pathetic girl who can’t seem to get over her ex. Yoongi had to sit through a whole hour of you drunkenly crying over Jungkook, for fuck’s sake!

That really wasn’t your best moment, but it’s not like you even remember it anyway.

Your phone buzzes to life with Jimin’s face taking over the whole screen – a photo of your hand squishing his full cheeks until his lips jut out. “Hey Minnie,” you greet him once you’ve swiped to accept the call.

“Y/N,” he says, sounding out of breath. “Where are you?”

“I’m at home. Where are you? Are you doing pull-ups again? You know you practically hyperventilate when you do more than 3.”

“Shut up, I’m at dance practice. But listen, have you talked to Tae yet?”

You purse your lips at the mention of his name. “No. We’re supposed to go grocery shopping tomorrow like we always do, but I guess that won’t be happening.”

Jimin hums, like he’s in thought. He doesn’t speak again until his breathing has calmed. “Well, can you go to his place right now?”

“Why?”

“He’s sick and I’m kind of worried about him. He hasn’t answered my messages.”

You frown. “Tae’s sick?”

“Yeah, he must’ve caught a cold the other day. Could you go over there and check on him? I would go but I can’t leave for another few hours.”

You agree to go, because of course you would. Even if you’re stubborn and hot-headed, no amount of pettiness could make you ignore your friends especially when they’re unwell and need somebody. Especially when it’s Taehyung who’s been there for you so many times.

You stay on the call with Jimin for another ten whole minutes even after you have said you would go, because he keeps droning on and on about how shitty Taehyung looked yesterday.

Before you go to your best friend’s apartment, you stop by your regular diner to pick up some comfort food for him, and the pharmacy for some medicine. During the rest of the drive there, you start getting a little worried. When Taehyung takes care of a sick you or Jimin, he practically goes into full mama bear mode, making sure that you’re as comfortable as humanly possible and not leaving your side until you’re a functional human being again. But when it comes to his own wellbeing, Taehyung doesn’t seem to be that concerned. It’s not that he neglects his health, but you wish that he would show himself the same kindness that he shows you.

It feels weird to use the spare key that you have to his place, considering that you aren’t really on speaking terms. In hindsight, it feels so childish. How old are you to still be pulling the silent treatment on each other? 

You ring the doorbell and wait a couple minutes until you hear Taehyung shuffling to get the door from the other side. When it swings open, he tenses up a bit, not expecting to see you at all. His hair is damp; he must’ve just gotten out of the shower. Taehyung doesn’t look as bad as Jimin described though. Just some dark circles under his eyes.

You raise a hand and wave. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he parrots somewhat awkwardly. It’s understandable; neither of you thought you’d be the one to break the ice. “What are you doing here?”

Bringing your other hand up, you show him the bag you’re holding. “Brought you soup and cold meds. Jimin said you’re sick.”

His brows knit together in confusion. “Thanks…” he says slowly, “but I’m not sick?”

“But Jimin said you caught a cold and you’ve been wheezing like a dying fisherman and–” You purse your lips, catching onto what’s really happening here. “He tricked me, didn’t he?”

Park Jimin…

Taehyung tuts under his breath, shaking his head at the ground. “Mhmm.”

“He could go into acting. He sounded really worried on the phone, like you were on the verge of death.”

“No, yeah, he really could,” Taehyung agrees. “Jimin is bizarrely good at lying sometimes. We should be worried about that.”

You laugh, and that makes him feel like the air is relaxed enough for him to laugh too. It only lasts a few seconds before you’re left staring at each other again. You hate it. You really, really hate it.

You thought that the universe sent you a sign, gave you a reason to come over and make nice with your best friend. Turns out that “the universe” is really just Park Jimin and his scheming tongue. But you’re already here, and you have to talk to him eventually. Jimin might have lied, but you would’ve just waited for Taehyung to reach out first to offer an olive branch anyway.

“Well, can I come in?” you ask. It’s weird that you even have to ask.

“Of course,” he says absentmindedly, stepping to one side to let you in. He takes the bag from your hand and brings it to the kitchen while you kick off your shoes and change into the pair of fuzzy bear slippers that he keeps for you here.

You want to tell him what happened as much as you hate admitting that you were wrong.

“Have you eaten?” you ask, a sad attempt at delaying what will inevitably come.

“No,” comes his simple reply.

“Should we eat? I bought enough for two people.”

“But I’m not sick.”

“You don’t have to be sick to eat chicken noodle soup.”

Taehyung looks at you like the thought has genuinely never crossed his mind. “Interesting… Okay, then.”

You put on an episode of your favorite show while he heats up the food. When you both sit down to eat, it’s mostly silent while the TV continues to play. The most you and Taehyung thing that you exchange in these 30 minutes is him saying soup tastes like shit when you’re not actually sick, and you telling him to stop being such a hater. When you both finish, Taehyung rinses the bowls and puts them in his dishwasher. 

Before you came over, you thought you would only be making him eat, take his meds, and sit there for a bit while he sleeps. If you had known this would happen, you would’ve prepared yourself for it.

But then again, you were tricked into coming.

Ugh. Just do it. You are so freaking dramatic.

“Well,” you start, keeping your voice light and trying not to stand around like you’re out of place in his apartment, “you were right.”

“About what?” Taehyung asks, wiping his hands on a towel. 

“About Yoongi and… all that.”

“Oh.” His expression is one you aren’t too familiar with. There’s surprise – yes, that you’re making peace with him – in the way his brows slightly lift, but there’s something else too. Something odd that you can’t quite put a finger on, and it makes you slightly uneasy because you don’t like it when you can’t read Taehyung. 

He’s pretty quick to mask it, and it makes you even more conscious that there’s something he isn’t telling you. Of course, this feeling is miniscule, practically a seed compared to the blooming garden of nerves that the events of these past few days have dumped upon you, so you can’t categorize it as a high-level priority to nitpick. You need to deal with your main concerns first, aka what to do about Yoongi and Jungkook, both individually and together, and then you can begin to inspect what’s going on with Taehyung.

It all sounds so easy in theory.

Taehyung goes to the couch and you wordlessly follow. You sit down when he pats the spot next to him – your spot. “How did you come to that conclusion?” he asks. “You know I don’t get to hear you tell me I’m right very often.”

Because you aren’t right very often, is what you almost say. It’s light and playful, and you both know it would diffuse the leftover tension, but you chuck the words aside in favor of something more serious. There isn’t that much to catch him up on, but there is a lot to unpack from the few things that did transpire over the last few days.

You give him a recap of what happened with Yoongi and subsequently what happened with Jungkook. Those are the two things weighing the most on your mind. You haven’t really processed anything; blame it on Yoongi for telling you that you have time to think things through.

One thing you love about Taehyung is that he doesn’t tell you what to do, but rather helps you sort things out on your own. Come to think of it, these conversations often take place on his couch. He’s like your own personal therapist at this point.

“Can you give me a hug?” You probably can’t ask a licensed therapist to do this, though.

He softens even more with a smile. Opening his arms, he says, “C’mere.”

You shuffle over to sink into his embrace. You sigh as you practically melt in his hold. Taehyung is a little bony, but hugging him feels exactly like hugging a giant teddy bear. He’s soft, and always knows how to hold you just tight enough, how to stroke your hair the way you like, how to be just the comforting presence you need amidst a whirlwind of anxious thoughts. And he smells like jasmine, though that might be because you keep deliberately gifting him colognes with scents that you like.

With your chin perched on his shoulder, you feel yourself start to relax, walls coming down if only briefly.

“You okay?” Taehyung asks after a moment.

You’re suddenly aware that you’re crying. You don’t know how it started, but now that the waterworks have begun, it seems like there’s no stopping. “No,” you sniffle. “Can I just…”

You feel him exhale. “Of course.”

Taehyung is one of the few people – oh who are you kidding? He might be the only one – whom you feel comfortable enough around to let yourself cry to your heart’s content. 

You’ve been feeling it for days now, even before all that shit happened. Every cell in your body is constantly vibrating, with anxiety, with guilt, with a heaviness that sinks into your bones. You’re shaking even when your hands are perfectly still. People, memories, thoughts you keep only to yourself – they all phase through you, not giving you a single moment to catch your breath.

When it rains, it pours.

Everything is weighing you down like someone has tied you to an anchor and pushed you into the unrelenting, unforgiving water. Grief is an ocean and you don’t know how to swim. Your job, your friends, the unbridled mess that you call a love life… Everything is changing and you’re the same. You’re different, but somehow still the same. Deep down, you’re still that scared little girl who doesn’t know what to make of the world. Your knees are bleeding but your mother is telling you not to cry. Why can’t you cry when you’re hurting? Every minute feels like a lifetime but every day feels like it’s going by in two seconds. Things are moving so fast. Things are moving too slow. You can’t remember the last time you actually cried. Really cried. Bawled. Sobbed. Let out all the dirt until you can see your roots again. Until you originate back to being a blank canvas. Sometimes it feels like that’s the only way that can help you see things more clearly. Your vision might blur for a while but afterward, it’ll have washed everything away. At least a little bit. So you can get your footing again.

You miss clarity, or the illusion that you have any control over your life. You miss looking out the window and have something to look forward to, even on overcast days where the sun can’t be bothered to bring you light. You miss hearing your heart beat a melody that doesn’t ache, doesn’t rattle you to the core. Pieces of you have been held together by nothing but tape and glue for the longest time. Eventually, they’ll deteriorate, and you’ll go back to being skin and bones always on the verge of falling apart.

Some of your best writing was never meant for anybody to hear. The best lines that you’ve scribbled down are diary entries disguised as music, as poetry. They’re results of your lowest and weakest moments, it just happens that there was a journal lying around and you thought that if you had to keep all that sadness inside for a second longer, you would burst. Those immortalized lines represent your heartbreak, your self-hatred, your sorrow and your grief. They come from a lifetime of unshed tears, from the burden of having a heart that feels too much but is always silenced. Words are your escape when time rushes through you like a child skipping stones. Everything hurts all the time but no one knows and you don’t bother explaining to anyone how you wish you could be a different person living a different life because it seems like the universe has made a mistake with this one. How it feels like a divine power has miscalculated and misread your false stoicism as resilience. Just because a person carries it well doesn’t mean they have to carry it at all. 

Sometimes you like to muse that if anyone could catch a glimpse of what it’s like inside, they’d think, Wow. How are you holding all of that weight? How are you so silent through it all? How do you live with an ache so allconsuming that I can hardly see you underneath it?

It’s the only way you know how to express yourself. But even then, when you’re screaming and burning, you’re still quiet. Those words are your heart on paper, raw and bleeding all over the place, covered in a million cracks that no one can see or even pay enough attention to notice. They’re there whether anybody likes it or not. They’re right there, red ink staining white pages, begging in a voice small like a child asking for love. Please see me. I’m here. Nobody taught me how to swim. Please see me.

But nobody does. They walk past you every day. They sit with you, smile at you and laugh with you. They leave you. They stay. They break your heart. Even when they love you, nobody sees you.

You love Taehyung, but you don’t think he understands. He knows you better than almost everyone in this world and he tries to help you in any way he can, but at the end of the day, maybe this isn’t something that a person can understand even if they want to. It’s worse, to realize that perhaps it isn’t because people don’t care enough to see it, but that no matter how hard they try, they can’t.

The only person who has ever come the closest is Jungkook, with his big doe eyes that always see through you and see into you. Sometimes, you think there might be parts of you that he could see but you still don’t. He knew things about yourself that you never want anybody to find out, and he loved you anyway. He went the lengths that nobody ever did because they all gave up after a while. Someone once told you that you felt like a fortress wall impossible to climb, that nobody had the time, the patience to wait for you. In other words, you weren’t worth it. Not worthless, just not worth the effort it would take to break down your walls.

But Jungkook showed up and tried, every day. The one person that you never saw coming. You might have resisted at first, but then you became his biggest supporter. You were rooting for him to know you, how fucked up is that? You were right there. He was so close.

And then he stopped.

You suppose that’s what makes everything awful now – to know that you should let go of him when he’s the only person who ever came that close.

You don’t know how long Taehyung has had to sit here, comforting you like this, but at one point, your stomach starts growling and you feel your best friend trying to hold back a giggle. Jungkook might have mastered the art of loving you, but Taehyung is an expert at comforting you.

“Shut up.” You wipe away the dampness on your cheeks with the back of your hand and push Taehyung off. “Crying makes me hungry.”

“Should I order us fried chicken then?”

“And soju. Get some soju too.”

Jimin is a strategic trickster. There was no dance practice. He just ran around his apartment ten times until his breathing turned ragged, which if you ask anyone, was completely unnecessary. He’s very extra, but at least it was effective.

After he got off the phone with you, Jimin immediately went to your shared phone tracker app – today was one of those times where it proves to be the most useful. He stared at the little circle with a silly photo of you as it moved from your address to Taehyung’s with a couple pit stops along the way. Jimin giggled to himself when he saw your circle meet Taehyung’s, because at that point you two must have realized already that you’d been swindled. Of course, there was always a chance of you leaving the moment you figured out you had come all that way for no reason at all, but when Jimin saw after a couple of hours that the two circles are still next to each other, he knew that you and Taehyung made up already.

Jimin sends a message to your group chat, a simple hello but Taehyung knows what he’s trying to get at. The text thread shared by the three of you lights up with a selfie of you and Taehyung each holding a chicken drumstick and wearing a content smile. In the background, there are some soju bottles, a box of chicken and some fries.

Jimin doesn’t question why your eyes look a little puffier than usual. He just replies with a smiley emoji and a thumbs up. The triumph of his mini victory almost makes him forget that there’s someone else in his home.

Jungkook peeks over Jimin’s shoulder to peek at his phone, curious to see what’s making his friend so delighted. When he sees you and Taehyung on Jimin’s screen, he sinks again, heart sitting in the pit of his stomach. The words you told him just the day before ring loud in his ears, as if they haven’t been stuck on his mind, playing on a loop. 

You’re such a fucking hypocrite.

You weren’t wrong, but man, did that feel like a punch in the gut.

He goes to sit across from Jimin, taking note of every single sound that notifies his friend of a new message. For the first time, he feels like an outsider, like he’s intruding on a private moment.

“I fucked up,” Jungkook admits quietly, cracking open a can of beer and taking a long sip. It makes Jimin look up and put away his phone. “With Y/N,” Jungkook clarifies.

“Yeah, I’ve been informed. That was the stupidest thing you’ve done in a while.”

“In a while? When was the last time I did something stupid?”

Jimin doesn’t even have to think about it. He answers right away, “When you left her.”

Jungkook hums, unclear whether the noise is meant in agreement or just in acknowledgment. His tongue darts out to swipe across his dry lips before he breathes out. “I don’t know what to do. She hasn’t replied to any of my texts. I feel like a fucking asshole.”

“From what I’ve been told, you were a fucking asshole,” Jimin says lightly, his words emphasized with a chuckle like he finds Jungkook’s predicament so funny. “I can’t believe you would say that shit about Yoongi to her right after he confessed.”

Cue a pregnant pause, and a pair of doe eyes staring right into Jimin’s skull, unable to decipher if what he’s hearing is a joke or not.

“Yoongi– what?”

Jimin slaps himself internally. Shit. It slipped, he swears. “Nothing,” he sighs, but he knows it wouldn’t be dropped so easily.

“No. Not nothing,” Jungkook sits up straight and puts his chilled beer down on the table, missing the coaster entirely just to piss off his friend. “The fuck do you mean Yoongi confessed? Confessed what?”

Jimin sighs with pursed lips. “What else? What do you think he confessed to?”

Jungkook gulps, and blinks a few times. When? Why? Was that the reason you looked so distraught yesterday before all that shit went down between you and him? Who confesses to someone in a freaking break room?

Then Jungkook remembers that you and Yoongi went out for drinks last night. What did he say? What did you say? His stomach churns at the thought of something… happening between the two of you.

Jimin takes in his friend’s dumbfounded expression. “Why are you shocked?” he asks. “I thought you expected something like this. Isn’t it why you spewed all that crap about Yoongi flirting with her?”

“Fuck, I don’t know! It feels like the guy is out to get me for some goddamn reason. I thought he was just playing with Y/N to piss me off!”

Jimin shakes his head, looking thoughtful. “Yoongi wouldn’t do that to her.”

“How would you know?”

“Because when they first worked together, from the things that she told us, the stuff that Yoongi would do for her, Taehyung and I thought he liked her back then too,” Jimin says. “This has nothing to do with you.”

It sucks. It fucking sucks.

“Should I go over there?” Jungkook asks, a newfound sense of urgency in his voice that borderlines panic. He’s acting like this fact that Jimin just dumped upon him is unraveling just as this conversation is taking place, but in reality, he’s one of the last people to know. 

“And tell her what? If you’ve said sorry a million times and she hasn’t responded, then saying it one more time won’t change anything.”

“What am I supposed to do when I see her tomorrow?”

“Nothing? Are you incapable of leaving things alone? If she wants to ignore you, let her ignore you. If she wants to yell at you, let her yell at you. If she wants nothing to do with you, let her do that too. Why do you keep making things worse for yourself?”

Jungkook runs a frustrated hand through his hair. “So your solution is for me to just let her hate me?”

Jimin levels him with a look, which just annoys him even more. “You had no problem with that before.”

“If you’re not gonna help me, should I ask Taehyung then?”

“Don’t go to Tae about this.”

“Why not?”

“Just don’t,” Jimin snaps, and it makes Jungkook falter for a few seconds before the petulance in him clouds his better judgment.

“Why? He’s her best friend. They’re practically joined at the hip. He’s gotta be able to help me with this.”

“You really want to go to Taehyung for advice on how to suck up to your ex-girlfriend? He’s the most protective of her. What makes you think he would be willing to help you?”

“He’s my friend too, isn’t he? Shouldn’t he want to help all of us be civil with each other?”

“Yeah, he’s your friend. I’m your friend and Y/N’s too. And you’re right, all of us should get along, but we shouldn’t be put in a situation where we’d have to try. You did that to us and nothing is going to be the same again. I don’t even know why you did it. You kept your mouth shut for years no matter how hard me and Taehyung tried to get it out of you. Now you suddenly can’t make peace with the consequences of your actions? Now you want us to help you win over the person you fucked over, who is also our closest friend? I don’t get you, JK. I’m starting to regret not letting Taehyung punch you back then.”

Jungkook stares at his friend. Is this shock that he’s feeling? He still remembers that night, because he doesn’t forget a lot of things. He can’t forget it. He had never seen Taehyung – who is usually so calm and cordial �� get that angry before. His friend, who is a saint of a man, felt so much rage toward Jungkook that Jimin had to physically hold him back.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Jimin asks. “You’re not used to me not being on your side all the time?”

He knows that. The only person who seems to be on Jungkook’s side is himself, and sometimes he isn’t sure if this is even true at all. What you told him at the dance studio’s opening party, what Jimin is telling him now, and even the things that Taehyung shouted at him a couple of years back – it’s all true. He knows these things already, but it feels different to hear them from other people. You’re all right; nobody is overreacting. To an outsider, it might come across as harsh, but to anyone who knows anything, it’s rightfully deserved.

Nevertheless, Jungkook admits quietly, “Actually, yeah.”

Jimin sighs, because he knows that his friend has no malicious intent toward you or toward anyone. Jimin knows that Jungkook doesn’t mean to hurt you, any more than he already has. Jungkook is even more crazed now that Yoongi is somehow a factor in all of this. It’s the insecurities bubbling at the surface. He’s panicking and he can’t even see straight. This is just his own stupid take on fight or flight. It was flight for a while, and now apparently it’s not. Jimin doesn’t really understand it, but he gets that this is his friend’s way of dealing with shit. “I tried, man. I did. But it’s really, really hard to have your back on this.”

Jungkook is well aware of it too – that to leave you alone is probably the best thing he can do at this point. Everything he says or does seems to backfire; instead of pulling you closer, all he manages to do is push you further away and make you hate him more than you already do. 

But in a way, isn’t that a good thing? Better to have you hate him than be indifferent toward him. After all, there’s a thin line between love and hate. You yourself blurred this line long ago. You can do it again, can’t you?

Jungkook sits there for a while longer to finish his beer, even though he doesn’t have anything else to say. It’s clear what Jimin’s stance on this is, and no matter what he says, it’s unlikely that anyone will help him try and get back in your good graces. 

Before he leaves, Jimin says something that makes him nauseous. Makes him want to fucking cry and kick something and speed over to your apartment just so you could reassure Jungkook that he’s still the one you hate the most. That all of your feelings, whether they’re good or bad, are still reserved for him and only him.

It isn’t what his best friend should tell him, but it’s what a good friend would say. It's not about Jungkook, it's not about Jimin or Taehyung or anyone else. It's about you, who has been hurt the most here.

“If she wants to choose Yoongi, let her do that too.”

[10:48] Yoongi: Attachment: 2 Images.

[10:49] Yoongi: got yelled at for showing up puffy yesterday

You tap on the notifications and the photos pop up within seconds. It’s Yoongi at his Valentino shoot probably. He never used to send you stuff like this, nor asked you to come watch him at his photoshoots. Why would he? 

You zoom in on his face to inspect if he really was puffy, but you can’t really tell. Maybe if you were a makeup artist with a sharper eye, you would see it. But under your regular-person gaze, everything seemed fine. Yoongi looked handsome in the pictures.

[10:55] You: you don’t look puffy to me

[10:57] Yoongi: so how do i look to you? ;)

[10:58] You: the fits look good

[11:01] Yoongi: i wasn’t asking about the fits

[11:05] You: and i’m telling you the fits look good anyway

[11:07] Yoongi: what about the model?

[11:10] You: are you fishing for compliments?

[11:11] Yoongi: what if i am?

[11:14] You: the model looks Not Puffy

[11:16] Yoongi: you’re no fun ;(

You consider your next reply for a moment. It doesn’t seem like that big a deal. You want to send it. It seems innocent enough, and it’s the truth. A simple praise can’t hurt, right?

Your fingertips tingle just typing the words out. You’re suddenly so jittery for some reason as your thumb hovers over the arrow symbol that would whoosh away your message. It's a good kind of jittery. You might even say that you’re excited.

[11:22] You: the model looks good too

You put your phone face-down on the table, not even checking when it vibrates with Yoongi’s response to your latest text. It’s so weird that you’re feeling like this, maybe because it’s been so long since someone has shown an actual interest in you? Or is it because it’s Yoongi? If it were anyone else, would you still react the same?

It’s weird, but not necessarily weird in a bad way. You just aren’t used to it, or it’s been such a long time that you forgot what it feels like to be… wanted? You don’t think about it often but it’s true, you’ve missed the thrill of being chased.

“So… word on the street is you have a secret song.”

Seokjin’s voice makes you glance up, wondering who he could be talking to when the only people in the room beside him are you and Jungkook – whom you haven’t spoken a word to all morning despite him glancing not-so-subtly at you every two seconds. When you got here this morning, there was already a chai latte on the table with your name on it. The order was too specific for it to be Seokjin, but you didn’t say anything.

“The street?” you ponder for a moment, knowing exactly who the culprit is. “Is that what Yoongi calls himself these days? He’s been here for what? A couple weeks? And he’s already blabbed to you.”

“So it’s true?” Seokjin leans back in his chair, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Yoongi said it’s real good. Top shelf kinda stuff. And you know he never says things like that.”

It’s not a song, or at least that isn’t what you would call it. Maybe more like an essay composed of sentences that go together like misfit puzzle pieces. You don’t think you would ever rework it and pitch it to anyone because it’s yours and it’s personal. You would never tell anyone about it, and Yoongi wouldn’t have come to know about its existence if he hadn’t stumbled across it in your journal by accident.

“Don’t listen to Yoongi,” you say. “At this point, I feel like you should know that Yoongi tends to exaggerate sometimes.”

“He never seems to be exaggerating when it comes to you,” Seokjin muses. You almost blush, thinking about what else Yoongi could’ve told Seokjin. He doesn’t notice the split second in which your cheeks redden just the slightest, or he doesn’t mind it enough to comment. “What’s the title?”

You shrug, saying nothing.

“You can’t even tell me the title? Damn, Y/N. Are you the CIA?”

“I’m not telling you because there is no title. There’s not even a song, just something I go back to sometimes. It’s mostly just word vomit. I promise you, it’s nothing.”

“Tell that to Yoongi. He told me whoever’s gonna get that song is one hell of a lucky bastard.”

Again, what is it with the praise? You know working with Yoongi and being associated with his last album gave your career a boost, but you weren’t aware that he was talking about you with other people. Maybe he only does it with Seokjin because they’re close, but still, it makes you itch with curiosity.

“By any chance are you gonna give it to… me?” Seokjin asks, and seems to immediately hear how flawed it sounds. You stare at him blankly, trying to bite back an amused smile, and even Jungkook turns his head to look too. Seokjin’s ears turn red in an instant. “Okay, that came out kinda wrong. I’m really, really sorry. But you know what I mean.”

You continue to stare at him until his face is so flushed, you swear he’s like a tomato that’s about to burst. You can see why Yoongi likes to tease people this way. “Okay, boss,” you acquiesce with a laugh, relieving Seokjin of the fear that he genuinely offended you. “If the song ever gets to see the light of day, I’ll make sure to ask you to lend your voice.”

“Ah, so you admit it’s a song.” He grins brightly at your empty promise, making you roll your eyes half-heartedly. He goes back to his normal shade in a minute, no longer ridiculously red like a cartoon character. “What’s it about?”

You ponder his question silently, missing the way Jungkook takes this moment to glance at you. When you look up again, he’s already averting his gaze.

What is it about? That’s a question that you yourself have never really considered. It’s about everything and it’s about nothing. It’s love, it’s loss, it’s the infinite in-between. You give Seokjin an answer that won’t satisfy him, but it’s the truth.

“I haven’t figured it out yet. I’ll let you know when I do.”

He tuts at you, like he was expecting the obscurity from you anyway. “You’re really not beating the CIA allegations,” he says.

You flip him the bird, which only compels him to stick out his tongue and make a face at you. Then, he diverts his attention to the person who hasn’t contributed anything this whole time.

“JK, why are you so quiet today? We’re not gonna eat you.”

Jungkook mutters something to Seokjin that you don’t quite catch because the words come out of his mouth like an inarticulate mess, which is so unlike him. He sounds jumpy, like he’s too nervous to speak in front of you. Seokjin’s eyes land on you again as he mouths a confused What?

You just shrug, and Seokjin has to take Jungkook’s weird response as him having an off day. The man checks his phone, lets out a quiet whine, then addresses the both of you. “I have a shoot this afternoon so you two will have to hold down the fort, by the way.”

You come back from your solo lunch date to an empty studio.

Well, almost empty. There’s something new that wasn’t there before.

Another chai latte waiting for you equates to another apology hoping to be acknowledged. The paper cup is still hot when your hand reaches out to touch it. You sink into your chair with a sigh. You could laugh at yourself for feeling so nostalgic at the sight of a beverage in the middle of a workday.

Jungkook walks in about 15 minutes later, and the air turns suffocating at his arrival. He feels it too, you know he does. 

You chew on your bottom lip until it starts to hurt, bite down on it until it almost bleeds.

“Jungkook,” you say, catching his attention. It looks like he didn’t expect you to initiate any conversation. It’s not like you want to, but you have to. You keep having to do this, because he just wouldn’t listen. “Stop buying me drinks.”

It translates to: Stop saying sorry. Stop trying to make things right. Stop doing things you think would make me happy. Stop making me have the same argument with you over and over again.

“Because you wouldn’t hear me out,” he says, and proceeds to repeat the one thing that you’re sick of hearing from him. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing,” you verbalize it. “If it’s not about work, I don’t think it’s necessary for me to hear it, Jungkook. I don’t want to hear it.”

“You do need to hear it. Because I can’t function properly until you know how sorry I am.”

“Well, that sounds like a you problem.”

“Y/N.”

“What?”

“Hear me out,” he says, sounding a little firmer now but you still catch the crack in his voice. “Please.”

Jungkook must take the way you hesitate to shut down him as reluctant permission for him to keep going, because he stands up and moves to a spot closer to you. Not close enough that he could reach out and touch you, but enough for you to see the tiny mole under his bottom lip and how it quivers when he looks at you.

Fuck. You’re letting him win again.

“Okay, fine. Talk then. I’m listening. You’re sorry, right? You keep saying you’re sorry for everything, but what exactly is everything? What are you even sorry about? Are you sorry about annoying me right now, or are you sorry about being a prick the other day, or are you sorry about leaving me five years ago? When did you become this pathetic, Jungkook?”

“W–what?”

“When did you become so pathetic?” you repeat. “If you had to come back, couldn’t you come back as someone better? Someone who’s sure of himself and has a good life, not this… person who has to grovel at my feet for forgiveness. Even when you were at your lowest, you weren’t like this. I don’t even know who this Jungkook is. What happened to you?”

If you think that you saw him at his lowest, then you’re wrong. He didn’t hit rock bottom until he’d left you and had to live with what he chose to do. 

“You’re right. I am pathetic,” Jungkook agrees, dropping his gaze to the floor like he’s ashamed. “But fuck, I’m trying to be worthy of you.”

It’s a truth that he doesn’t want to face, doesn’t want to admit how very real it is until you’ve just said it and it fucking guts him. He knows his friends pity him sometimes, even if they don’t want to view him as someone to be pitied. No matter how much of a front he puts up, he knows that Jimin and Taehyung see right through him. They won’t say it to his face, and for that Jungkook has gotten away with avoiding this fact for so long. But to hear it from you, to watch you spell it out for him, it hurts.

He wants to mention Yoongi, but he doesn’t know how to phrase it in a way that wouldn’t immediately aggravate you. After all, bringing up Yoongi is what got him into this mess, isn’t it?

Regardless, he wants to ask you a question that he already knows the answer to. What does Yoongi have that he doesn’t? The answer is: A lot of things. Yoongi has a lot of things that Jungkook doesn’t, one of them being the self-assurance to not run away when it comes to you and what you deserve.

He wants to ask, but he doesn’t, because he’s scared it might drive you right into Yoongi’s arms and Jungkook can’t compete with a man like that.

He can barely keep up even with just himself in the running.

There’s a big question mark that pops up in your head, along with a slight sting in your eyes that you blink away. You’ve never seen Jungkook like this before. This whole time, was it not only you who was miserable?

He looks so small that it breaks your heart. For once, you aren’t sad for yourself but you’re sad for him. It never occurred to you that he could’ve been lonely too, having to keep all of this inside because you know he didn’t share it with anyone else. You catch a glimpse of him again, like you did when you were making ramen together in your kitchen while a storm was raging outside. In a lot of ways, Jungkook is still that kid stuck in an adult’s body, lost and scared and loved you. It feels like you could’ve seen him in the same ocean while you were just trying to keep your head above water.

The sight of him, so vulnerable and astray, placates you. Your resolve crumbles, but not like it was ever that strong to begin with. You suppose you could see why he was being a jerk to you. Even though it doesn’t justify what he said, you understand just a little bit where he was coming from. You find yourself forgiving him for some of it. It’s part of letting things go, right?

But no matter how much you want to reach out and comfort him, you know you shouldn’t. What are you supposed to do in a situation like this? You’re confused and it feels like you two have been going around in a circle, looking for a solution that doesn’t seem to exist.

Coexisting doesn’t work. Telling him to leave things alone doesn’t work. What else can you do?

Why do you have to resolve a problem that isn’t even yours? Jungkook says he’s trying, but his efforts keep making your life harder and harder. You practically blew up in his face, then apologized for being harsh even though you were fully aware that you had nothing to be sorry for. You called him a hypocrite and now you’re ready to cave just because he’s on the verge of shedding a few tears. This constant back and forth between your anger and your reluctance to see that anger through is possibly the thing that’s hindering you.

You can’t – and shouldn’t – accommodate him anymore. You have to put your foot down, no matter how difficult it is with the lingering ghost of your past love.

Because you’re always weak when it comes to Jungkook.

Because you’re still holding onto something.

Because Jungkook will always be the first person that you have ever loved, and those four years meant a lot to you even if they didn’t to him. Maybe it’s even fair to say that you might never truly get over it, and that doesn’t have to be such a terrible thing. Maybe he was never the person you thought he was, or maybe you never meant as much to him as he did to you. Somehow, that’s okay. It’s manageable because it’s routine at this point. You’ve internalized it. The years have taught you that sometimes, things get shitty just because they can and you just have to deal with it.

The intrinsic pain of the human experience. C’est la vie.

What a world this is.

Is it bad that you’re thinking about Yoongi in a moment like this?

Yoongi could be your future, if you’d let him.

You should let him. Maybe this is your answer right here. 

“Jungkook, let’s stop.” He looks at you with crestfallen eyes, but you have to keep going. The only way out is through. “Let’s stop. You want me to listen to you, but you haven’t been listening to me. I don’t have the strength to keep this up anymore, and I have told you that repeatedly but you wouldn’t listen. Jungkook, move on.”

You pretend not to notice how his lip trembles even more. “What if I don’t want to move on?”

This feels like a conversation that should’ve happened ages ago. Five years ago, you should’ve screamed at him, cried with him, held each other as you both fell apart. He stripped you of that right and gave you no say at all.

“You’re being awfully selfish,” you tell him, but in your head, you’re already thinking about what his words actually mean. 

“Have you completely written me off then? Is there nothing at all that I can do? Because I would do anything if you asked. You know that.”

Your throat is so dry that it feels like you’re swallowing sand. You dig everything back up again until you find the memory of that day hidden at the very bottom.

It’s terrible. He’s making you relive it again.

“I remember calling for you and you didn’t even look back,” you say, but your voice breaks toward the end. “I can’t trust you anymore.”

Jungkook just stares at you then, and for the longest time, neither of you say anything. This is the first time that you two have addressed the problem, properly addressed it instead of half-heartedly sweeping it under the rug like you tried to do. 

You breathe in, he breathes out. You hate the way you feel, and you resent the way he looks like he’s breaking down just as badly. There are tears in those eyes, tears that Jungkook doesn’t let spill because he defiantly wipes them away with the back of his hand after a moment. 

When he speaks next, you want the world to end.

“Then I’ll earn your trust back. I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I will.”

— all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted january 21, 2023]

[satureja13]

After Ji Ho and Jack finished their practice, Jack wanted Ji Ho and Vlad to charge their Bond but Vlad is already on his way back to his room. Nothing is easy in this world... And before Jack could send Ji Ho after him, Saiwa yelled: "Jack! Noxee's on the... uhm... monitor! She wants to talk to you!" (We moved the 'Post Office' ^^')

Noxee: "Hey Babee! How are you? Sai told me what happened and that it's been Kiyoshi. Oh Babee - let us know when we can do anything for you."

Jack: "Don't worry. I'm fine! It's such a relief that I don't have to have secrets anymore from my friends. The others help me and I will heal. I will get over him. He's a diety now anyway and far out of reach." Noxee: "Your rash still looks painful." Jack: "But I feel so much better now that it's all out. I even can sleep alone!"

Noxee: "That's a relief - oh hey - there's Greg! Greg! Say something to your son ... It's Jack - your son." (It seems Greg also has some difficulties wrapping his mind around it hahaha) Greg upnods Jack...

Jack upnods Greg...

Noxee: "There he goes... He's so hot... Babies. I gotta go. Send more pics from the Goth stuff and Kiyoshi should also send some his amazing cheese. Bye!"

Jack: "Omg - they forgot to switch off - let's leave them alone before we see - things... Where do I turn this off? Argh seeing my precious Noxee with him still freaks me out!"

Saiwa: "There's a parcel for you - from Greg..."

Jack unpacks: "Oh, it's a Pizza Stove! Ah - now my life is complete!"

Jack: "Noxee knows how to make a boy happy." Saiwa: "She said it's from Greg..." But Jack doesn't want to hear about this...

There are also some hand written receipes and Jack started right away. Saiwa: "Smells amazing! I'm so hungry!" And somehow it reached Jack's brain how much Greg has done for him. And he's thankful. How can he not be. Greg gave him Pizza! There's not much Jack loves more than his Pizza.

Jack: "Let's eat my friends. Thank you for being there for me." And then they ate Jack's first Pizza.

'I've fallen in love. I've fallen in love for the first time And this time I know it's for real. I've fallen in love, yeah

It's strange but it's true Hey, I can't get over the way you love me like you do But I have to be sure when I walk out that door

Oh, how I want to be free, baby. Oh, how I want to be free Oh, how I want to break free

But life still goes on I can't get used to living without living without living without you By my side. I don't want to live alone, hey

God knows. Got to make it on my own So, baby, can't you see. I've got to break free

Queen - I want to break free

From the Beginning  ~  Underwater Love ~  Latest 🛺 'Home happy Home' from the beginning ▶️ here 📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 17-22

[fluffypotatey]

*puts on my Professor glasses* Macky really knows EXACTLY how to talk to Wukong, let's dissect it! M: Looks like things are going smoothly. W: I say, you've been here the whole time, haven't you? M: FFM is your home, but it's also mine. W: Did you find anything? M: Still nothing, however. Now the Jade Emperor is no longer present. The Celestial Realm already gives me an unsettling feeling. M: Wukong...that kid. W: I understand. M: You have to go and talk to him. W: I know! But...he still isn't ready. M: I see. You're the one who isn't ready, yet. How did you even become a teacher! M: He has to be. We all have to be realistic. W: He's just a kid. We can't let him... M: Who says he's just a kid! Why is it him? When you chose him, did you know? W: I didn't know, I really didn't know! I just followed...a feeling. M: Are you not the least bit worried?! This child has all of your special powers, and he always runs into trouble. Have you never questioned this before? Not a single person knows where he came from. Is it not strange?! M: We still have no clue as to whoever let out Azure Lion. All your old foes returned in one swoop. Are you not even a little- W: Then what about you? You also suddenly came back. M: Argh- M: I say, someone must be manipulating us behind our backs. Especially Xiaotian. But they still haven't succeeded. W: Then tell me. What about you? M: Tell me do you want my help or not?! / W: Not long ago you were still against me! / M: I see, you're just a- / W: ...after I assume you'll teach me how to train my own disciples? ~ Xiaotian Interupts ~ M: Look. That kid has made you his idol. You're his one true hero, but you... W: But I what? M: He has to understand, he doesn't need to carry these burdens. You have to do better. You can really tell whose the chatty one in this relationship XD Wukong might be a lil annoyed, but he's tolerant. And Macky is a little playful turd as always. Where Wukong gets gloomy and concerned, Mac swaps between teasing and serious in a blink. Then things get a lot more strained and tense, but unlike their previous fights, it never escalates into violence. Never a growl, never a raised fist. They're right at the edge, and they drop it. I'm very much interested in the psychology of arguments and when it comes to people latching onto (1) thing a person says and relating it slightly off topic to avoid talking about that other thing, like Wukong is doing here. It's so cool seeing how physical they are in trying to visibly control their emotions around each other, and how they keep trying to hold themselves back from tearing in further, always pausing and halting, and switching to another thing. They're TRYING. Ugh. I think Mac was trying to give a comforting smile at the end, but it's kinda warped by the whole ~ everything else. ~ Anyhow, I like how this starts with Wukong establishing, or rather cementing to Macaque that he believes MK is a kid. And while Macaque argues against that, he did also say before that Wukong should talk to him. And they have their squabble, with Mac pushing Wukong's buttons to get him to say something, BUT the fact this gets resolved with he needs to understand he doesn't need to carry these burdens. YOU HAVE TO DO BETTER. Like of all things Mac could have chosen. He's playing right into what Wukong himself believes, that will overwrite the "MK isn't ready" thing. Because let's face it. Mac is right when he says Wukong also isn't ready for that talk yet. He's so down throughout all this, Wukong probably feels himself that he needs to be better. AND by appealing to the fact MK is a kid, without explicitly stating that, just a statement that cannot be denied, BUT is a subject that undoubtedly, even Wukong cannot avoid. Because he wants better for MK. For him to not walk down the same path as him. Macaque has basically nudged Wukong into having that talk he wanted with MK by reframing it differently from what Wukong wasn't ready for. Thoughts? Critique?

*squishes you* anon…anon, you’re telling me..that this was the actual dialogue between SWK and Macky in 5x01. that what i just read is the translated version of the Mandarin dub. correct?

ok ok cool. i’m cool. gucci. feeling fantastic lemme just

WHAT THE FUCK LMK

ok so i ranted in the tags but realized i forgot to say more things (also i was worried i’d exceed the tag limit bc that is a real thing what do you know!)

so, anon, you said Macky knows how to talk to Wukong and yeah agreed but for me it’s for of the sense of “Macky knows how to get his words under Wukong’s skin”

he knows how to let his words sink in and fester in Wukong’s mind, making him reconsider things or another to help speed up certain decisions or choices Wukong is hesitating on. and ain’t it fascinating how despite how long it’s been since either character have talked or interacted with each other, they still know the ins and outs of their behavior and thoughts.

Macky knows Wukong needs to talk to MK but is holding back. Macky after one answer from Wukong realizes that it’s Wukong who isn’t ready for that conversation and switches tactics to try and breach that mental block

Wukong, in a need to avoid the conversation, brings up the questions surrounding Macky’s reason for even being alive again because that is information neither have talked about and oh hey! Macky is avoiding that conversation too! and it’s an important one to have so he pushes for it, but Macky knows it’s being pushed to avoid their original discussion and is annoyed bc “classic Wukong, never wanting to delve too deep into topics where he’ll need to be vulnerable for” (especially when said vulnerability is with his newly re-allied ex friend Macaroni himself)

god i love them

[tsudratscigam]

Oh my word hi!! I love ur au and characters!! The way you draw the characters is so unique and cool!!

Could you tell me a bit more about your Yellow and Victim? :D

TYSM ARGH IM SO GLAD!!!! more than an AU i would call this a box full of silly headcanons cuz overall the lore its always the same as the og :]

for Yellow i like to think that between the other members of the skittle gang he's the oldest (i dont have the exact ages in mind atm) with TSC, Green, Blue and Red being younger (in order from oldest to youngest) (this could also change in the future since im very indecisive lol), design wise he used to have overalls and goggles but it looked weird in my style so i went with sweater and glasses (also cuz i wanted to give the skittle gang a bit more "modern" styles). Im trying to think about other hc for him too but im in my TCO era right now and i cant think about anything else this is a call for help help me-

in my hc Vic is the oldest of the hollow heads sibs and bro doesn't know how to fight at all except some basic combat skills ig lol POINT AND LAUGH POINT AND LAUG- he's more of brain person than brawl person :] design wise i tried to follow a pattern with the hollow heads sibs in which each one of them is based around a shape with TSC being more round, TDL is pointy af like a cacti, TCO is more "square shaped" while Victim is very thin, no muscles, just a walking twig.

hopefully i can come up with more headcanons in the future teehee i love these stickpeople :]

[bereft-of-frogs]

I kind of just want to ramble about the spell scene because I really liked the spell scene

it was pretty spooky. I dug it.

I was really curious how they were going to cover that whole confrontation, considering it's fairly long and we'd seen all the dialogue before, but having Torbin fading in and out was both a great way to cover the runtime and added to the creepy factor.

It's also interesting we don't actually see his perspective on the spell itself: this seems to just all be the lead-up, the way Aniseya gets past his defenses. It cuts out of his perspective once she fully takes over and I wonder what the actual spell felt like. It doesn't look particularly comfortable, but also maybe it was just like skipping forward in time, like missing a beat.

I am so happy they stuck with Torbin's big secret desire Aniseya was exploiting being...literally to just go home. For like a split second I was afraid they were going to imply there was like a secret lover back on Coruscant or take it in a different direction (especially after uh, stuff last week...), but nope, kid was just really homesick. (Confirmed in the Nerdist interview, literally no other implications other than a kid being like 'I want out of this situation, I want to go back to Coruscant' welcome back Reath Silas.)

I could probably break down a whole bunch of how Aniseya wore him down, from picking information about his past out of his mind, stoking his fear and feeling of being trapped ('do you want to escape this planet'), to being forced to submit by asking her, inviting her in...argh there's so much.

Also for a bit I was like, Aniseya, you made a bit of a tactical error with this move. And I still think that it was technically a mistake but I also completely get why she did it and why she thought it would work.

First off, the mistake aspect: I mean right off the bat, it is a violation and an escalation and that's not a great opening move. Seeing Torbin's perspective makes it clear Aniseya starts working on him pretty much as soon as they enter. Before anyone actually gets to say anything, she's identified the youngest, weakest member of their party and started invading his mind so she can use him as leverage against them. Not great. Like I get she's feeling justifiably defensive, but she's already got a while bunch of armed guards that pretty dramatically outnumber the Jedi, maybe a bit of overkill to essentially take a padawan as a psychic hostage to manipulate his master.

It also tips her hand and shows off her power really early. You'd think she'd want to keep that in reserve, to prevent them from finding ways to counter it. Because I think that's probably exactly what happens. I'm straying slightly into the realm of 'headcanon' but I do think it's a fair logical leap to make that Indara, as his teacher, was the one to help Torbin 'fortify his mind' after, which does a couple things: 1) Aniseya has fewer people she can target with this spell, now that her primary target has specifically worked on blocking her out, and 2) this might have given Indara insight into the nature of the spell. Insight which she could then used to free Kelnacca and inadvertently kill the entire coven (also confirmed by the same interview, Indara did not intentionally kill them, she just chose to act without knowing what the consequences would be). But I think she just underestimated Indara (honestly not unlike the audience, we've been giving Sol credit for his telepathic prowess, when it was her this whole time) and possibly didn't think the Jedi would figure out her spell and how to counter it so quickly.

But I also totally get why Aniseya did this and why she thought it would work and that fits into the conflict between what each side thought was going on. The coven does not realize the Jedi are essentially concerned about the girls' safety and doing a welfare check. They think the Jedi are here for recruitment. So I could see how she might believe that a strong initial show of power would get them to back down. It's a very defensive maneuver, showing the Jedi that the girls have a strong family protecting them and it's not worth the risk to push harder...and might have worked...

...if the Jedi hadn't had a completely different idea of what was going on. Instead of chasing them off, it makes Sol double down on his idea that the girls are in danger and the aggressive opening move starts to sow doubt in what could have been Aniseya's ally.

(There really is a better version of this timeline where Indara puts her foot down on going in alone and diffuses the situation. Her going in by herself would have looked less threatening and had less weak spots, she probably wouldn't have fallen to Aniseya's spell so quickly, maybe they could have talked it out.)

But Aniseya has no way of knowing the conflict between Sol and Indara, and this direct, immediate threat to the youngest and most vulnerable member of their group would actually make them more convinced the girls were in danger. Instead of making them back off, it makes them feel like they can't back off without leaving the girls in a dangerous situation.

...and Aniseya doesn't know Indara had been defending the coven's right to be left alone, and that what she does to Torbin would make Indara doubt her convictions. The whole testing scene she's clearly starting to be like 'ok this maybe isn't great...' but she's clearly trying to stay fair, and there's this moment while Sol is talking to Osha, when she glances over at Torbin with this look on her face. There are probably multiple interpretations of this small, wordless exchange, but I took it to be like the deepest point of her doubt. She still follows the Council, but this does seem to be the point at which she stops trying to give them the benefit of the doubt while Sol gets more and more riled up about the girls' safety. (Will have to confirm on rewatch but I think up until that moment, she's still countering Sol's arguments with specific defenses of the coven, and then after that she just falls back to 'the Council said no'. This also might have contributed to her own willingness to use what turned out to be deadly force, or at least not care so much about the consequences.)

So yeah I think it was technically a tactical error, but it's an understandable one that fits into the theme of differing perspectives on the same event. IF what Aniseya thought was going on was really going on (the Jedi drifting by looking for recruits) it might have worked to get them to back off. But it was a mistake in light of how the Jedi had interpreted what they saw.

Anyway, I'm sorry so little of this conversation about the spell has been about Kelnacca, given he's really the biggest victim of it. It's just hard to analyze a character the audience can't understand. It is sad he looks so guilty in the final scene. Poor guy. Also really nothing in this contradicted my little theory/headcanon that Kelnacca and Torbin are generally more fucked up by the experience because of the mind invasion thing. (Especially if we consider....Koril possibly surviving........maybe the spell isn't quite so broken....) (ok now we've really gone off a theory deep end XD )

tldr: I liked how spooky and in-character the spell scene was, I would have liked to get more about what the actual moment of the spell felt like, and potentially its aftereffects but........might have to cover that myself *opens word document*

(just kidding....I use scrivener and I've been working on fic with the tentative hope I was not abysmally wrong on characterization for weeks.)

[weirdthingskid]

Quotes from my favorite Odd Squad character!

In no particular order...

"And I was starting to think we didn't have anything in common!"

"Pencil room."

"I ate a lot of garlic bread! 😀 So. Much. Garlic bread... 😦"

"Argh! Too slow!"

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life. Well, there was this one time in Paris- never mind. Just zap us."

"aaaaAAAAAHHHHH-"

The rest is under a read more because this is long

"I don't use them! I just make 'em! GO WOLF PACK-"

"I like you." "I like me too :)"

"Oh. So you're that guy..." (NOT romantic!)

"Whoops. I've been working out a ton."

"First of all, I don't think you're fixing that desk..."

"No no no, you see, I said the opposite-"

"I'm starting a dirt farm in New Mexico."

"...too slow again."

"I have an idea." (Stares off into space w/o elaborating) "Are you going to tell me what it is?" "Oh, uh, yes, follow me."

"I made a wax figure of myself!"

"What are you doing?" "Destroying a gadget. I need the parts to build other gadgets, and destroying this one will be good fun. aaAAAHH-"

"I'm so bad at goodbyes. I always talk too much. See, I'm doing it right now!"

"But what happens when your Oonabot becomes smarter you, takes over your life while the actual, real Oona is out getting lunch?" "Uh, what's going on?" *RUNS*

"It's like my hands are covered in butter! Nervous butter, not tasty..."

"I CAN'T STOP DROPPING THINGS!!!"

"Help... me..."

"Take a look at my calculator-inator!" "That's a regular calculator." "Just--just LET ME HAVE THIS ONE!!"

This girl is not sane seriously

"Therefore, while destroying this gadget is likely a mistake, it'll probably be the best decision of my life, so if everyone will please stand back, this sound is likely to be loud! AAAAAHHHH-" (crash)

"Well uh, see you later!" "What? No!" (drags her backwards)

"All I know is that I can't see color anymore. But that was okay, cause I just bonk the back of my head and bam! I can see color again!"

"I also programmed her to laugh at all my jokes." "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" "She doesn't really know what jokes are!" "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" "I'll... turn that feature off now." "Ha-ha-ha-ha-"

"I made this one if I want a healthy snack. I just reach into her ear, a carrot, and I can make ranch dressing come out of her nose!"

"Wait..." (hits her head) "Color went out again."

"Ohlm, please leave my lab."

"And now that I control all scientists, I shall be the one to rule the world! MWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Joking. Joking. So joking. I'm gonna smash these!"

"🎵 Everything's cooool..."

"🎶 Everything's gonna be fiiine!" "Please stop singing."

"I thought I might record this if I'm doing... less well... but yeah, like she said, I'm coo-"

"🎶 Everything's not coool..."

"Let the unboxing begin! I love the sound when you rip open tape! Sounds so good. Ooh, crinkly! Box inside a box, pretty cool..."

"Let the unboxing begin again! I love the sound when you rip open tape! Sounds so good. Ooh, crinkly! Box inside a box, pretty cool..."

"You can destroy that thing." "Crush it." "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH-" (thump)

[hyenahunt]

Rouge & Ruby: Prologue

Writer: Umeda Chitose

Season: Winter

Characters: Jun, Ibara

Proofreading: royalquintet (JP) & Skyress (ENG)

Translation: Mirei (Adam) & hyenahunt (Eve)

Jun: Hey, it's thanks to me doing said running that I got to catch a certain someone flouting the law just to work his ass off, though?

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Time: New Year's Day, after the end of SS

Location: Outside ES

Jun: Pant, pant...

(I thought I could at least take a break for New Year's... but in the end I really just can't skip my daily training~ )

(That said, I'm still kinda worn out from SS, so I guess I'll keep it light.)

(I'll go one more loop around ES before heading back to Starmony Dorm and... hm?)

Jun: Why are there lights on in the ES building on New Year's break? And on top of that, the lights seem to be coming from —

The 18th floor? Isn't that CosPro's floor?

Hmm…

Now that I've seen it, I can't just ignore it, huh. I'll check out just why they're still on at this time~

Location: Cosmic Production Office

Ibara: …

Jun: Oh, so it's just you, Ibara.

Ibara: ? That voice… is that you, Jun?

Why are you here this late? If anything, I'm sure you don't have anything to do in the agency on a day like this. Then why did you come here?

Jun: That's what I should be asking you. From the looks of it, you seem to be busy working as usual, but...

Isn't there a labour law about how no one's allowed to work over New Year's break or something?

Ibara: Ahahaha! You would think, wouldn't you? Such laws do not apply to one in my position..

Jun: That's kinda not something to brag about... Besides, you know we only just finished up with SS, right?

It's the start of the new year — most folks usually take this time to rest up.

Ibara: I’d rather not hear a sermon about resting my body from a certain someone who’s already out to do his running routine so early in this new year, though.

Jun: Hey, it's thanks to me doing said running that I got to catch a certain someone flouting the law just to work his ass off, though?

Ibara & Jun: …

Ibara: … [sigh] You see, it’s exactly because SS is over that I’m focusing on work now. So would you kindly leave me alone?

Jun: Exactly because of that, you say... The concept of the first and last work days of the year doesn't exist to you, huh?

You were going ham on that keyboard, too. Is there really that much work to do this early in the year?

Ibara: If you're looking forward, the "work to do" is, in fact, limitless. Besides —

You heard what I said back then, did you not? I wanted a fair, head-on competition in SS.

If I let myself drown in the aftermath of it, the feeling of regret will take me over. I would even think like: Argh, I could even have an outburst in frustration.

But you see, if I focus on my work, I won't have to waste my time drowning in such sentiment. If anything, I can even turn that into my motivation.

Jun: Sounds more to me like you're taking out your frustrations on your work but … well, fair enough.

I mean, I'm all too aware that you're a workaholic, Ibara. You're the only one who understands the frustrations you're dealing with, so I'll leave you to it.

Ibara: … You said you’d leave me alone, but I see you've planted yourself firmly on a chair…

Jun: Haha. Well, I didn't say I'll go home, did I~?

I'm curious 'bout what you're working on, anyway. I bet it's got something to do with us, right?

Ibara: You're right. There are things we need to prepare for going forward. But there are also things that require urgent attention…

This year too, Eden members will make the best use of their abilities as idols at work.

Jun: Ooh… The more you say, the more curious I get. So, when you say "going forward", you mean…

Ibara: When it comes to the large-scale events that involve the whole ES, next month's Valentine's event — Chocolat Fes — is one that can't be missed.

Jun: Chocolat Fes, huh… Um, lessee... Is it that one event usually held simultaneously in idol schools all over the country?

Ibara: Yes. It's an event that has been held simultaneously nationwide in idol schools, and from this year onwards, it has been decided that ES will also take part in it.

Jun: It's supposed to be nationwide, but we don't have it in Reimei or even Shuuetsu, so I don't really know much 'bout it~...

On that note, why aren't the idol schools affiliated with CosPro taking part in it?

Ibara: To be frank, it was simply not much of a big deal.

Despite that, it's not like we didn't participate at all. There was indeed a time where I made a very small number of Special students do a similar event.

Jun: Huh, first I've heard about that…. So you oversee stuff to that extent, Ibara?

Ibara: Well, I'm on the management team for CosPro affiliated schools after all.

Jun: Rather than just being management, it's more like you're calling all the shots…

But anyway, ES's participation in it means that we'll also be taking part in it as Eden from this year onwards, right?

Ibara: Of course. Since it’ll be the first time that ES participates, it will be an event that attracts a great deal of interest and attention from the public eye.

Moreover, most units belonging to ES will likely join the event. There is no reason that we, Eden, should not also make our presence known.

Carefully, and meticulously, I’m formulating a plan of attack.

I'll share the detailed plan later. So please patiently wait for now.

Jun: Alrighty. Beats me what you might have in mind, but I'm looking forward to hearing all about it ~♪

… So anyway, when are you going home?

Ibara: Pardon?

Jun: Just look at the clock, dude.

I get that you're all fired up, but on top of working all through New Year's break, you should at least hold off from doing overtime, alright~?

Ibara: … I’ll leave in a reasonable amount of time, so there is no need for concern.

Jun: I said that 'cause I'm pretty sure you didn't have any plan of doing that in the slightest. Well then, how 'bout we run back together?

Ibara: There’s no way we can do that. You are ready with an outfit suitable for exercise, but I'm only in plain clothes

Jun: Ahaha. Well, you're right about that.

Either way, just wrap it up somewhere so you can head back soon, okay~? If you're late, I'll come all the way back to check on you, got it?

Ibara: Why are you mothering me? I'll leave once I'm at a good stopping point. So please, don't worry.

Jun: Alright, alright… Just make sure to actually do that, 'kay?

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