#but also i jusy need to Leave my house

[ilovebeatingmywife]

in the trenches

[wwwdotjesterdotcom]

Reposting this for shits and giggles bc I don't expect asks about this lol. But I'll answer some in the tags

Weird Questions for Writers (because writers are weird)

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

2. If you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? If you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil?

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

8. If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

14. Do you lend your books to people? Are people scared to borrow books from you? Do you know exactly where all your “lost” books are and which specific friend from school you haven’t seen in twelve years still possesses them? Will you ever get them back?

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

16. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark?

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

20. If a witch offered you the choice between eternal happiness with your one true love and the ability to finally finish, perfect, and publish your dearest, darlingest, most precious WIP in exactly the way you've always imagined it — which would you choose? You can’t have both sorry, life’s a bitch

21. Could you ever quit writing? Do you ever wish you could? Why or why not?

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why?

29. Where do you draw your inspiration? What do you do when the inspiration well runs dry?

30. Talk to me about the role dreams play in your writing life. Have you ever used material from your dreams in your writing? Have you ever written in a dream? Did you remember it when you woke up?

31. Write a short love letter to your readers.

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

33. Do you practice any other art besides writing? Does that art ever tie into your writing, or is it entirely separate?

34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

36. They say to Write What You Know. Setting aside for a moment the fact that this is terrible advice...what do you Know?

37. If you were to be remembered only by the words you’ve put on the page, what would future historians think of you?

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?

39. What keeps you writing when you feel like giving up?

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

[breannasfluff]

so like hi there i have a Ravioli hurt/comfort fic plot im not gonna write but i thought youd enjoy it so ima over explain it in your Ask box!

Okay okay okay so A link between worlds right so for this were gonna pretend it was before A links awakening for the ✨Story✨ 

So in A links awakening Links gf is fucking a seagull or a dream or smthn right kinda fucked up, well you see Ravio already kinda lives with Link at this point and there kinda dating but not so Link comes back home from his adventure and Ravio is  so fucking exited and like "Mr. Hero your home! oh in sk glad i was so lonely how did Hylia treat you are you okay do you need something want to lie down? are you injured" But then Links jusy standing in the fuckjng door way like, Shit Ravio did i forgot about him? i mean i fell in love with Marin that's basically replacing him, Marin... i mean fuck she was a dream does that count i still fell i  love with her though thats fuvked up i replaced ravio fuck fuck fuck. 

abd then he fucking passes out

but then after that Link still having a crisis avoids Ravio as much as he can, whichhhhhhhh is not mych considering theu live in the same house, sleep in the same room, and eat the breakfast ravio made together. but he tries. and when Ravio tries to confront Link he is overwhelmed and doesnt know what tk say so he just anounced an impromptu visit to his sister saying he wants to update her on his adventure.

so he leaves and Ravios confused and a little hurt while Link feels like shit and also confused.

He does get to Zelda and she rightfully slaps some sense into Link because wtf are you thinking, your upset yes but he can help you he doesnt have to know everything but atlest tell him hey i dont hate you

so Link dramatically goes running back to his kinda boyfriend who feels like shit and collapsaes at ravios feet gushing out how he loves him and he fell in love with someone else and he feels horible and shes kinda gone anyways she wasn't actually real and link is fucking truamatized from his gf jot actually being real and the  ravio goes and hugs him and they do a cute little communication thing and Ravios like hey fuck ur all good i live you to its fine you fell in love with Marin it fucking sucks shes dead can i help at all??     

and there all cute and cuddly and Link deals with some Truama in a healthy way fir once       

anyways that was much longer then anticipated i just have alot of thoughts about them

im noy gonna write it tho cas thats like  of work and im still only on work 3 for wumptober and my wip list is st like 10 and jts like sir wtf is going on

so yeah hope you like it! uhm have fun ig

Oh boy, yeah, that would be pretty angsty! And a good topic for therapy/couple’s counseling on falling in love and forgetting your boyfriend 😂

[watery-melon-baller]

:3

Hunter?

ive gotten TWO (and a half) asks can you tell. i have a favorite

What I like about them

hes such a bitch (affectionate) and also a NERD hes sweet and likes to learn and is just a little awkward hes trying his best.

What I dislike about them

he needs to stop running off into the wood whenever he is having a panick attack and start relying on others. get better coping machinaisms

Favourite moment

oughh hm. love like every flapjack and hunter moment (rip)

Least favourite moment

any sport in a storm had a few minutes where the second hand embarassment was so bad i could not handle it. im like stupid sensitive to that kind of stuff and sometimes i have to leave a room when its TOO much. my guy please. i do like the episode i dont hate it at all i just was like. incapable of watching it lmao

A situation with this character that I want to see explored more

augh like. everyday coven life stuff (this also goes for lilith too). id love to see like a day in the life kind of thing espeically like before lilith left the coven. what chaos goes on in the castle,,,

An interesting AU for this character

I HAVE LIKE A BILLION AUS FOR HUNTER. uh. i have my reverse au. i have the 55k fic i wrote where he accidentally kills belos and has to secretly run the goverbment (go read weekend at belos's its funny i promise). i hae an antimatic im working about him. i also had one for a while where pre-canon he ran away from belos and fled to the human realm and just. worked at the 7/11 down the street while living in the portal shack and luz befriended him. i wrote a few ficlets for it but never posted anything but its a fun au i had. it was Luz getting her first friend + hunter realizing that belos kind of sucked actually and camila trying to adopt this rabdom teenager her daughter found (she genuinly thinks luz is lying about him or is talking about one of her book characters and then after she meets hunter shes like oh ok. adoption) its fun

A crossover

i dont really have any crossovers hmmm,,,

OTP (or OT3+ etc…. just… favourite ship)

augh im like. all my favs i hit with an aroace beam so. not really lol

Other ships?

i kind of bounce bwteen bi hunter and aroace hunter but like. he should go through the struggle of "damn they're pretty" and also appprecuating your frieends beauty.

BROTP

him and luz!! again. worte an entire fic of their shenaningans. they are obnoxious and love each other. i also think something with hunter and the collector would be interesting but i dont know if they would like. get along and be best buds or anything. also him and gus!! adultified buddies but like. they're adultified in oppostite ways so they can combine to be One Whole Guy. thats how hunter and luz work btw but with being neurodivergent

NOTP

againt jusy like. no weird age gaps and incest yada yada.

An assortment of headcanons! 

OKAY

have the headcanon that belos like. shoved him into a caretaker role (which we see a Bit of in canon but i take it to an extreme). loves to play it up as "sick weak frail old man who needs his nephews help" so parentification yay. hes good at like cooking and cleaning and knows how to make a bunch of BI ersion of 16th century dishes. if something happens thenhunter feels guilty because its His respoinisbibly to take care of belos beacuse belos doesnt have anyone else!!! (false belos is juts a needuy bastard who wants to be taken sre of by his older brother and likes to play house wiht his grimwalkers. i have so many feelings about that btw)

he is just. such an isolated kid. no one noticed/cared what was going on and i get a little infuriated every time i think about it. i have so many emotions about his little sprig plushie and whenever he has to leave it behind in a fic i get emotional. he goes back to the wreckage of the castle post canon and finds his room in the rubble and sure some things are destrpyed but a few books and knickkacks are salvegable. he finds sprig a little torn up but sews him up and its ok.

he likes learning about Everything. like theres so many intersting things all the time he wants to read!! in the human realm he just devours books about everything. wikipedia rabbit hole. kinda guy who knows a random fact for almost any occasion. multitracker hunter but tbh he wouldnt really do much at hexside besides like. hes doing it for his friends. i think he would help dell out with the palistrom trees and also specialize in potions (since you dont need magic for that). he has private tutors in the coven im sure so hes probably educated very well.

hes got all kinds of fun grimwalker traits. hes mostly immune to boiling water. his eyes glow in the dark. sometimes when willow is using plant magic he can feel it under his fingnails and his hair. his hands have weird scarring and peeling and listen. listen. evryone was so dissapoited that hunter didnt have scars under his gloves but i was on the hype train for day One since HUnting Palismen bitch. i give him gloves all the time bc sensory issues + hide fucked up hands + mepahor for hiding yourself.

also is neurodivergent and trans. personanly perfer ftm but every variation is good. mtf hunter would be named bailey. his medications are like. wird mix of plant and witch medicine because grimwalker. has a terrible time in the human realm bc hes super unmedicated for a while but they find a human equivalent and hes fine now. kind of.

ok thats enough of that

[puppynosed]

i wish i had a friend🥺😭

[s0apmactav1sh]

Gazalex pt2 yayayaya uhm i havent a clue what to say other than eat up ig (this is my apology for disappearing for 2 months i gen have been working through some serious shit and am back on meds)

-You who wakes up with a killer headache and a need to hurl in some random place. The time doesnt register in your mind when you look at the clock and see 2:19pm meaning youve missed your shift but its ok (gaz already rang and told the barista who tipped them off on your whereabouts that you wouldnt be there) stumbling through the house to find a bathroom you eventually find yourself in one bent over the toilet puking your guts up. The familiar taste of whiskey coming back up.

-Gaz and Alex who cant help but grimace at you getting sick in the upstairs bathroom. With alex deciding to head up to you gaz stays down stairs getting some paractemol and asprine ready for you to take when alex coax you down stairs. Clearly not exppecting alex to come upstairs you look down seeing your still wearing clothes that are your own and not theirs (since the clothes you did wear out were some of your best and the old ladies at the church would kill you if they found out you ruined them)

-Alex who has to convince you your not dying when you start acting as if hes a hallucination. There just being awkwardness as he leads you downstairs and into the kitchen. A waft of bacon, eggs amd sausage hitting you right as you step in and your stomach growling over how hungry you are. Gaz being kind enough to hand over the asprine and water so the pounding headache you woke up with could be cured.

-neither of them knowing how to bring up your drunken confession without scaring you out and away from them altogether. But they dont need to because as soon as you realise this wasnt your place it was in fact theirs it all hits you and every drunken word that spilled from your mouth hits you like a ton of bricks. Cue you frantically apologizing and promising that all that was said in the car ride was jusy a bunch of nonsence and that you were just feeling lonely.

-both of them finding some relief in that but also taking note of the small bit of hurt that also hits them. Maybe you didnt like them back and it was silly of them to assume? All three of you standing in the kitchen just staring at one ajother before you give in and make the bold claim that it wasnt nonsense just really sober thoughts in the form of drunk words because you didnt know hoew to tell them any other way.

-your confessin oractically hanging in the air for a few moments before Alex is grinning from cheek to cheek and rushing over to hug you, just glad that their feelings were returned and they didnt seem like idiots for feeling the way they did. Gaz feeling a lot more confused over whether you meant or not but soon that confusion is washed away by Alex pulling him into the hug aswell because why leave him out when theres more than enough room for the three of you to hug

- the next day in work, watching as one of the old ladies grumbles as she hands over a 50 dollar bill on top of the money she already paid for her drink to your coworker who grins cheekily at you. The sight of hickeys covering your entire neck being the tell tale sign that you finally manned up and told them

Theres so much missing from this but i jeed to get back to writing because its been awhile anyways

Smut nect? For this maybe (defo already have a draft in progress for the threesome Reader does top both of them bevause we all know gaz and alexs are bottoms <3)

Time to write gazalex x mreader. Except its shortened cuz tumblr loves eating my drafts. So heres something short and sweet before I disappear of the eart again.

-Gazalex who become the most loved couple in the small town they moved to after retiring from the military and getting married. The two being labelled as the sweetest around by all the old ladies and labelled great help by all the old men aswell.

-You. Who seems to be the only other younger guy around in the town and who just happens to work and own the down town cafe that the two frequent nearly everyday. Of course you gawk at the two of them the moment the enter the door but the little light in your eyes dies as soon as you see the golden wedding bands around each of there fingers.

-Them who become completely infatuated with how sweet and excited you seem to be while behind a bar helping out an old woman who was trying to figure out what to have with her tea. Its obvious to the both of them that your sweet but then the hard part hits them, trying to figure out whether your single or not.

- Them who spends all day trying to find something that had your social media based off of just your name from your name tag. Of course when that goes south they resort to using the cafes name and find a small social media plug that leads them right to your page and of course you barely have anything up other than an old photo from 3 years ago.

- Alex is the one who takes the lead and follows you first seeing if you would follow back and in a matter of minutes you had accepted his follow so Gaz happily followed you afterwards hoping for the same response which he got.

- It didnt take long for all of you to become great friends and then the problems arose of you have feelings for the two of them but ofc with them being married it had your stomach twisting since you didnt want to ruin anything. And so you began avoiding them. Cancelling on plans last minute, avoiding serving them when they came into the cafe and even stopped replying to them when theyd message you.

- Both Gaz and Alex were confused over what was happening. They both liked you and had talked about it but maybe you didnt like them? It wasnt until one of the other baristas at the cafe called them and let them know where you were sulking one evening. An old pub that wasnt too far down. They werent expecting to see a drunk you so soon. Head dropped down with an empty pint glass in front of you.

- Going over to you, they take a seat on either side of you before Alex calls over the bartender and pays your tab so they could get you up and outta there with no other questions. Of course your fairly confused on whos bringing you away but when you see who it is you try moving away from their car not wanting to go with them. Cue you arguing with them outside of the pub gathering the attention of several people who were on going into it or outside it smoking.

- It takes them a few minutes but there able to get you into the car before your drunkingly confessing to the two of them telling them how you feel and how you know they dont feel the same because their already married. And the two just cant help but start laughing, over how a many as fit and fine as yourself would think theyd ever reject you. But then again you were drunk and half passed out.

- Not wanting to disturb your apartment neighbours they brought you back to theirs leading you into the guest bedroom where you feel asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow giving them no time to talk to you. Of course what they would be talking to you about did require you being sober.

Pt 2??

Im in desperate need of sleep. And I have to deal with seeing more family over the next few days so writing will be to the minimum but hoping to come out with pt 2 of traitor au and maybe more smut.

[diangeloyoyok]

my review on pjo movies

first up with have The Lighting Thief obviously

 Poseidon’s entrance lowkey kinda fire but high key weird

‘it’s been many years’ didn’t y’all just have that winter solstice party together ???

‘if your son if the thief i will send him to the pits of tartarus’ ouch that hurt ngl

logan lerman 🥺

he would’ve been such a good percy if they did the movies when he was younger IDC IDC IDC

i stan black grover and just grover overall

i wish we got to see my bitch nancy

sally and percy sallY AND PERCY SALLY AND PERCY SALLY AND PERCY

gabe to me is just *hmm* perfect in this movie, he’s not as mean in the movies but he’s still an asshole ehehehe

i love Chiron actor i think it’s very accurate

also wtf chiron is bros with the big three lols 😹

y’all know jenna davis?- that’s who the girl who plays ms dodd’s looks like

so they just gonna ignore him and tak ab him while he’s RIGJT. THERE.

‘This is a pen. This is a pen.’

‘Are you guys crazy? This is a pen man!’

the scene with gabe makes me uncomfy bc percy says in the book gabe never hits percy in front of sally but ok 😗✌️

leaving percy was the *mOST* difficult thing poseidon *the GOD of water* has ever done wow percy is that cool

‘You’re half donkey?!”

i am da wittlest minotaur 😳✨🙈

such a subtle entrance to the camp love it

why y’all give percy the pen before he supposed to be a badass and rip the horn off wjth his hands but ig

wait so in this dumbass movie percy doesn’t even do anything to get the horn goodbye

i’m still very pissed that they took the scene of annabeth sayjng ‘you drool when you sleep’ but it’s fine i’m NOT fine

why is no one wearing camp shirts 🤬

they may be wrong but i didnt know it was ‘brUnner’ not ‘brUNner’

it’s kinda cute how when percy first sees annabeth he’s like ‘ooouuu who’s that name now 😌😏”

brown haired blue eyed looking ass BITCH

‘A real horses ass’ laughed a LITTLE

so the poseidon cabin is just *THAT* open poor percy no privacy

oh wait wth they already know his daddy poseidon 🤨

like everyone just knew ????

when did percy get new clothes the fuck

why did everyone laugh and shake their heads when chiron introduced percy what whores

omg luke 🥺

i know everyone knows this but it’s *SOOOOOOOOO* unrealistic annabeth and luke aren’t on the same team. like i’m pretty sure in the first book annabeth said they had a permanent allies type thing with the hermes cabin

‘that’s a sword! that’s a sword’ aw baby luke why’d you have to be evil 🙁🤚

where the FUCK did that bitch tryna be annabae come from

she realky said ‘i love trees🌲☺️❤️’

why does annabeth act like clarisse during capture the flag

also the fuCK WHERE MY BABY CLARISSE

why are there like actual 30 yr olds at camp

luke was so excited when he saw percy get up he said ‘omg no way✨’

so suddenly percy just knows sword play 😀

and deFEATS ANNABETH WE ALL KNOW HE CANT EVEN DO THAT NOW

y’all red heads a bunch of babies

i already know it’s coming

shit no

i hate it

i hate it so much

already ew’d out

‘i definitely have strong feelings for you, i just haven’t decided if they’re positive or negative yet.’

‘well you let me know when you figure it out’

‘you’ll be the first’

why they just drinking nectar for fun?? like bruh you tryna die or sum

after that i can’t watch anymore tonight

it’s been like 3 weeks but let’s not talk about that

i’m not even gonna comment on the campfire scene anymore my god

i like how in movies everyone is like “omg the underworld so scary percy you can’t go that’s so dangerous you will DIE”

and in the books they’re like “yeah it’s dangerous but whateva you 12 yr olds have fun down there bring me a souvenir!!”

why does luke have?? video?? games?? in?? his?? cabin??

WAIT LIKE A WHOLE ASS TECHNOLOGY SETUP WHAT

why is luke the only one in his cabin like where’s the stolls and chris 😳

you mean to tell me luke broke into hermes house just for like funzies and to steal shit?

sounds like travis and connor but ok✨

what the fuck even is the whole pearl plot

i don’t even wanna talk about the medusa scene

percy has an ipod 🤡

“i’ve only been in the outside world a few times” did you fucking practice driving those few times or WHAT

if percy could actually heal people with water wowie imagine how useful

why did percy bring swimming trunks on a quest

can this brown haired bitch shut up already

sally never took gabes last name excuse you 🤣

ofc it’s fucking fox news giving us that bullshit info on sally

they in nashville wee-doggie 🤠

‘hey it’s your mom’ obviously dumbass she has eyes

so they hid in the potty room for like 5 hours? huh

yeah let’s jus facetime lukey real quick 🥰

silly boy percy

“how flipping awesome was that”

does percy even know he can bend water in the first book

that’s gonna be an unexplainable statue for the workers tmrw

lotus hotel baby

the only reason this movie is watchable

vegas be lookin kinda fresh i wannna go

i wanna stay at the lotus hotel this place looks sick asf

lotus flower treats yummy yum

here comes gaga 😮

why they laugjing so much

wonder if nico likes gaga

imagine like 10 yr old nico just straight vibing there

grover pulling out the dance movies yessir 🤩

“no❤️ percy don’t eat the flower”

why didn’t percy just like grab the flowers and throw them

OOOO KESHA WE LOVE TO SEE IT

TIKTOK ON THE CLOCK BUT THE PARTY DONT STOP NOW WOAHWOAHWOAH

i’m bored ✨

ooo skeletons

charon my queen 👑🥳

“we drowned in a bathtub, all three of us” 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

i wish that was in the movie

i wish a lot of things were in the movie hit that is high

we’re in the same boat in the very same boat

how do you get seasick in an elevator- BOAT?

the way to the underworld is over the styx it’s a river

i know, you show off chicks

sexist much? go make a splash

i’ll splash you

it’s like watching titian’s clash, they’ll kill each other it they’ll kiss if we’re lucky they’ll end up in an abyss

um

anyways✨

hades do be looking kinda cool tho

that’s a cool ring you got there hades

omg mommy sally 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

how did percy not notice the lightening bolt in the damn shield befORE???

“it’s luke shield he betrayed us”

damn she switched sides real fast

this phoney bitch why does she want power and a war sis go plant shit

i refuse to believe hades is abusive sorry sis you ain’t fooling me

god where’s Juniper when you need her

so no fight between percy and aries 🤡

instead we have lukey pukey

omh he’s the lightening thief i did not see that coming ong 😳

^^ me on twitter after it’s revealed on the percy jackson tv show

can this luke character chile

percy pulled a harry styles and said “i’m falling” 😔

i’m thE SON OF POSEIDON I NEVER ASKED TO BE BUT IM THE SON OF POSEIDON

“yeah, i think i am the son of poseidon”

okay 🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋

omG i goT bUtTerFliEs

how does s-dog jusy know how to get to olympus did y’all get freaky up there or

that’s actually kinda how i imagine olympus looking so

i guess

good job

maybe

what is this ant man why they so small

“i have no connection to poseidon”

p-dog looked kinda hurted 😳

as if zeus would ever compliment percy

has athena ever told annabeth *or any of her kids* i’m proud of you

“i need to speak with him” “just this once”

yet we got poseidon showing up once in awhile just to say hi

7 months? 😀

percy was 7 months old?

now i don’t remember much but i don’t think it was that long luv ❤️

“always”

i thought i was watching percy jackson not harry potter tf is up

sally and percy have my whole heart

g-man got his horns

chiron 🥺✨

missed my main hoe 😍

why are there so many fucking campers

there’s like 500

let’s take a chill pill shall we

annabeth and percy look like siblings in this

 incest 😳

they bouta fiGHTshe better have won

k well that’s it thank the gods 😘

i’ll be back in like 4 months to review sea of monsters i need a break of bullshit

OH ITS NOT OVER

it’s gabe

he pulled a demi

stone cold

stone cold

everyone will be happier without him

[abisworldblog]

Day 1 of 14

I was still shocked. Didnt expect this to happen. I was crying yesterday when I heard the news and when our manager talked to us and cried again when I heard my sister and my mom cried. When my sister told me that they need to leave the house with my daughter, it broke my heart because I am always sleeping beside my daughter. This really hurts me the most. I told them that I dont have symptoms and I dont have direct contact with the person and up until now I am still confused why I am included. I was on leave for 2 days and I never saw her until she was absent for a week. We dont have direct contact. But for everyone's safety, i should isolate myself and thats what I did.

We had a sari sari store before and due to pandemic,my family and I decided to closed it. And this is where I am sleeping. My sleeping/working room for the next 14 days. This is located outside our house and I have my own bathroom so I dont have direct contact with my family. I also told them to wear mask when serving my food.

I woke up at 3am because I cant sleep and still thinking what will happen next. I jusy missed my daughter. I MISSED HUGGING HER AND KISSING HER but I have to be patient and this is for her and my families safety. There are lot of confusions when it comes to medical cert from our clinic. I already called the Baranggay Health Center yesteday, the lady assessed me and told me that swab is no longer needed. For 14 days they will check me and I have to text them my body temperature which I did earlier. Because of the confusion, I went to our Brgy Health Center earlier and asked our neighbour working there if I can get medical cert since our company needs it and we have to submit it within 24 hours but they said that they will be providing the bherts certificate after 14 days. When I told them what I happened, the other lady was looking at me like I AM ALREADY A COVID PATIENT. I felt it. The look, from head to foot. Thats what I am avoiding i felt like I was discrimated for a short time. I know that they are also afraid like me so I just ignore it.

11 out of 14. We will see each other after 14 days and I am hoping and praying that this will end. That we are all healthy and safe. I am crying while typing this but I have to be strong. I am still thankful that I am not feeling anything, that my immune system is strong. And we were given a chance to work from home. Thank you Lord and Help us oh Lord!

DAY 2 TOMORROW

[garden-of-movies]

Every single thought I had while watching The Kissing Booth:

- Elle and Lee were born on the same day and have been life long friends HAHAHA WOW THATS TOTALLY REALISTIC. But also I’m trash for it bc they have such a sweet pure friendship :,)

- MOLLY RINGWALD YAS

- Wow the actress that plays Elle actually looks like she could be in high school and i appreciate that.

- Awh, Lee is cute. But Noah.... HOT DAMN. I can see why Lee and Elle have rules. Noah’s so hot tho it probably wouldn’t stop her if she ever got the chance lol.

- Her pants ripped so she had to dress sluttier.... Ha ha.

- OMG THAT GUY GRABED HER BOOTY

- OMG NOAH GOT IN A FIGHT FOR HER

- THERE IS SO MUCH SEXUAL TENSION BUT SHE DOESN’T SEE IT BC SHES YOUNG AND NAIVE IN THE WAYS OF LOVE AND ATTRACTION.

- Awh Lee drove her to her date 😭 THEIR FRIENDSHIP :,)

- AWH he took her to their dance place to cheer her up AFTER SHE GOT STOOD UP 😤

- HAHAHAHA NOAH TELLS BOYS HE WILL BEAT THEM UP IF THEY DATE HER. THE SEXUAL TENSION IS BUILDING. IM EXCITED. But also nervous for Lee 😬

- Awh she plays sports and is herself and rocks who she is :,) cute :,)

- I don’t exactly hate the OMG girls, but they are the hardest part to watch. Like they are what keeps reminding me that this is a cheesy teen romance. So OMGs= Eh

- Okay Noah and Lee’s house is ridiculous and high school parties are not like this. But high school boys also don’t look like Noah, so I’m moving on now.

- HE STOPPED HER FROM DOING MORE STUPID THINGS AND TOOK CARE OF HER DRUNK HAHAHHA LUV IT

- OMG THAT AWKWARD ROLL AROUND WITH THE CURTAIN AND HES NAKED AND SHE SAID SHE TOUCHED IT HAHAHA THE SEXUAL TENSION IS FUELING ME.

- THE OMG GIRLS AGREED TO DO THE KISSING BOOTH BUT WILL NOAH?????? THE PLOT THICKENS

- Oh god Elle asked him to do the booth one more time and they argued and now they’re one a bad note. MOMENT OF TRUTH TIME WHAT HE GONNA DO?!

- PPL ARE BLOWING LEE OFF AT THE KISSING BOOTH NOT COOL.

- Oh wait, it worked out for him!!! And now he’s holding her hand and leaving early?? 😂 cool!!

- Oh great ELLE is the one working the kissing booth now. AND GUESS WHOSE UP?!? NOAH!!! And she’s announcing that she’s never been kissed oh god 🙃

- THIS KISS!!! And they just keep kissing!!!! In front of the entire school!!!! And everyone is clapping!!! Clapping bc of all that passion HOT DAMN.

- Oh god wait. Everyone saw it so Lee is gonna find out. OH NO LEE 😭 he is a tender boy and I really care about his feelings.

- Okay well that could have been worse, but he was def more upset than he let on.

- It’s about to rain she guess who strolls up on his motorcycle to save the day and take Elle home. EVERYONES FAV BAD BOY NOAH!!! Great 🙃 this will lead to nothing romantic LOLOL.

- UGH NOAH IS SO HOT. HIS FACE HIS BODY AND HES IN THE RAIN AND HE SAYS ALL THE RIGHT THINGS 🙃 KILL ME.

- I don’t really like the height difference though, Noah is SO much taller than Elle. But the tension and romance- I’ll live with it.

- HAHAHA Elle is making a pro and con list I love her.

- High school beach drinking party. Ha ha ha ya totally.

- Noah almost walked away from a fight after he jumped in to save Elle YET again 🙃 but I’m glad he didn’t because that guy was a douche lol. SUCK IT WARREN.

- He just said he fell for her HAHAHAHA.

- He took her to his spot :,)

- Oh wait, ARE THEY ABOUT TO HAVE SEX?!?? BEFORE SHE TELLS LEE!!! Oh god, this is gonna end terribly.

- THEY HAD SEX IN FRONT OF THE HOLLYWOOD SIGN HAHHAHA!!

- I took a twenty minute break from watching the movie because I FOUND OUT ELLE AND NOAH DATE IN REAL LIFE HAHAHHA. Their movie relationship translated to their real lives, and their real life relationship is honestly ten times sweeter, but it’s fine I’m fine :) also in real life Noah is Australian and he’s only 20 years old :) still fine tho :) okay back to watching the movie now.

- This love montage :,) but also it’s funny and i love the song love grows where my rosemary goes.

- OMG LEE THINKS NOAH HIT HER IM SHOOK. BUT ALSO SHE HAS THE CHANCE TO TELL HIM SO SHE BETTER. OH WAIT HAHHAAH THEY JUSY GOT CAUGHT AFTER SHE LIED. Great :-)

- Lee is heart broken 😭😭😭😭

- LOL OH HEEEY MOLLY. Time for some girl talk.

- Wait just like that Lee is gonna forgive her? Wow. He is too good and pure for this world. Elle needs to be counting her blessings everyday.

- Oh god i hate her prom look.

- This prom has a live band? Yo, what year is it?

- DONT YOU FORGET ABOUT ME HAHAHAHA YES!!!! This is also amazing bc molly ringwald is in this movie.

- The kissing booth is at prom, here comes a full circle moment.

- I want you to know, i actually laughed out loud when Noah told her he loved her.

- Oh god she wants to be with Noah but Lee is happy she rejected him. Oh god I’m stressed.

- Okay they had like a two second argument about it and now he just accepts it??? AGAIN LEE IS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD.

- Oh Noah, we always want the bad boys- AMIRIGHT LADIES?!

- Omg he didn’t turn around for a final wave!!!!! Wow that actually really surprised me. The ending wasn’t cheesy!! Wow I’m very shook.

- Okay it’s late and I’m emotional and i wanna be in the middle of a Lee and Noah sandwich. THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK- Goodnight and goodbye

[notontumblr]

Tips & Tricks for Trails of Cold Steel 1

A few of my friends snatched up Cold Steel in the Steam summer sale, so instead of saying the same thing over and over, I’m gonna just write up some general tips here.

General

Talk to every NPC, especially the Thors students. And talk to them every time there’s story progression. You can get recipes, books, and extra sidequests by doing this. And even if you don’t - there’s a lot of side stories going on throughout the game that are interesting to follow and give you a better sense of the world. If you want to save time, just prioritize talking to whoever the guide lists as having stuff and the Thors students, so you understand who the frick they are when they become more relevant in CS2. 

Visit Trista’s bookshop once every chapter and buy all their books. These books will be listed in your key items menu, and using them will give you extra bonding points towards whichever character would be most interested by the book. Also sometimes you can learn new recipes this way!

Play Blade on every train ride with every party member at least once. You don’t have to win, but the first game of Blade will give you extra bonding points with the character you play against. 

Try your best to collect all the books and recipes. You get good items near the end of the game if you do! You can find out where to get these in the walkthrough I’ll link down below. 

Want easy cash? Cook omelets with Elliot. Elliot’s omelets will sell more than the ingredients cost and he joins your party very early in the game, so stock up on Fresh Eggs & Coarse Rock Salt at any grocery store and get him cooking. The game even lets you cook 99 at a time, so that’s nice. 

Just utilize the cooking system honestly. A lot of the items are very useful as they will heal you AND cure abnormal statuses/give boosts. Plus some of the failed recipes are just funny. 

Always give the cat fresh milk. ALWAYS. If you give her fresh milk enough times per chapter, she’ll give you Zeram Powder before you leave on a field study, which is a very useful item. 

Smash all the boxes and vases in monster-areas. You get free shit. Make Link proud and show him what he taught you. 

Fishing and resting at inns you pay for will restore CP. You can also get items for your fishing from Kenneth. 

Machias, Laura, and Millium can all smash obstacles in your path. It’s not just Millium. Machias and Laura takes a couple extra hits, but they get the job done. 

When opening ARCUS slots, prioritize your mages’ slots. Opening everyone’s slots is good, but as Sepith is in limited supply early on - you should focus on your mages first before the physical attackers. In other words focus on Elliot and Emma, followed by either Alisa and Jusis. Also, you will find lots of quartz on your travels so until all your slots are open- save your sepith for that unless there’s a quartz you REALLY want.

Don’t bother buying weapons/armor in Trista before you head out on a field study. You can get better items in the field study locations every time. 

DO bother switching equipment before you head out on a field study. You’ll have access to everyone’s items the morning before you head off on the train. Make sure to swap out any gear you really want to use - including Master Quartz. If you’re worried about healing, I recommend giving Canon MQ to either Emma or Elliot depending on whose going.

Buy the Puppy Strap, Kitty Strap, and Frog Strap. You can turn them in to Colette in the final chapter for some material that lets you make an ultimate weapon. 

In the final chapter, make sure you have 10 Coarse Rock Salt for the School Festival.  If you forget to buy these, you’re free to head to the abandoned school house and grind  for it monsters, don’t worry. 

Save right before you talk to Celestin during the Patrick/Celestin sidequest in Chapter 6. Without spoiling, Celestin has you play a quick game that based on chance and you can’t repeat if you get it wrong which means you don’t get full AP. So save before you talk to him, and reset if needed.

If you miss an item, check Micht’s store. If you’re lucky, they’ll appear in his pawn shop. 

You can change your field character to anyone in your active party. Fie, Alisa, Machias, Emma and Elliot all use ranged weapons, making sneaking up on monsters easier (though Emma and Elliot will stun monsters instead of knocking them out). Laura has a chance of knocking out a monster even if its facing her so keep whacking. But really, just go with your best boy/girl like I know you will. 

Use your bonding points how YOU want. I cannot emphasize this enough. Some bonding events will help fill out your notebook, but you don’t get any rewards for completing your notebook beyond completionist satisfaction. But seriously, ignore the people who yell that their bonding choices are the “canon/right” ones, and just go with who you want to go with. My only recommendation is maybe hold off on Towa and Sara until NG+, as higher link levels benefit you in battle - but if you don’t care about that, by all means bond away with them. If you’re really worried about missing bonding events, all the bonding events can be found on youtube, NG+ offers the option of maximum bonding points so you can see everyone’s bonding events, and there’s always the classic saving and resetting trick. 

However for the maximum gayest experience, pursue Crow or Elliot (Jusis is a good runner-up too). It’s a JRPG so there aren’t out and out gay romances - but the game is way more gay friendly than Persona 5. Along with that, you can still choose a guy as your final bonding partner or take them out on dates. The other boys have their gay stuff in them, but these guys take the cake. Without spoiling anything, Elliot’s a good boy you can bring home to your parents that’s somewhat a slowburn, while Crow is the fast and dirty Bad Crowmance. If you never want to hear the lines “you should’ve picked a girl” - pick Elliot for any romantic settings (like the Stellagarten) because that boy’s so gay his s-crafts are rainbowed theme. But if you really love another boy, then follow your heart.  

Combat 

Use whatever party combination you like best. Some game guides will recommend a certain party, but that is their OWN preference. Cold Steel characters are balanced well enough in that there’s no objectively bad character that you should always bench. It’s more a matter of which characters fit your play style best. The game will give you plenty of time to try out every character, so I won’t go on too much about each one. That said, I will be given suggestions on which character types are useful to have.  

Have either Elliot or Emma (or both) in your party at all times. They are the mage characters that will pack the most punch with arts, heal well, and their attacks completely ignore physical defense (making them VERY useful on some monsters). Which one is better is up to preference: I personally prefer Elliot because his healing crafts are more useful but the game will force you have equal time with both, so you’ll have plenty of time to judge which one is more your taste.  

Have either Laura, Machias, or Millium in your party for smashy times. They all play radically differently so there’s no point in comparing them, just pick one of them so they can smash any obstacles that are in your path. 

Rean does not have to be in your active party. While he’s always in your party because main character, if your party has more than 4 characters? He can be swapped out in battle or moved to the support role through the camp menu just like anyone else if he’s not your style. 

Learn how to do Arts. Arts are your friend. They are a little more time consuming than crafts since you have to set them up and they have casting times- but my god are they worth it. Especially in CS2 because Arts will get a boost while physical stuff will gets nerfed. 

Save S-Crafts for when you see a “!” symbol for maximum damage. You can activate S-Crafts at anytime so long as you have enough CP, so take advantage of that. 

Crafts with “Impede” are your best friends. These crafts will allow you to interrupt enemies casting arts that can really mess up your day. The following characters have Impede crafts: Rean (Autumn Leaf Cutter), Alisa (Flamberge), Machias (Break Shot), Jusis (Rapid Thrust), Fie (Sweep), Millium (Buster Shot). I don’t care which one you use, just for the love of god, use them. 

Fie can be boosted to 100% Evasion. Equip her with Evade 1 & 2, Shining,  Aeolus Gem, 2 Evergreens (which is expensive ngl.) and any armor/weapons that boost evasion. Even if you don’t make it to 100%, you can make it really high.

On the enemy info for strengths/weakness - if it’s above 100 it’s weak to something, if it’s below 100 it’s resistant to it. If it’s at 0, it’ll have no effect so don’t even try. 

Nightmare will give a random status ailment once they wake up, so heal that shit ASAP. Stuff that can be used to cure Nightmare are Mint Drops, Roasted Coffee, Premium Coffee, Double Espresso, and any item/spell that heals all status effects. 

Links

Gamefaq Walkthrough by Zoelius

All Bonding Events on Youtube (Contains spoilers so recommend you check out AFTER you complete the game) 

All Final Bonding Events on Youtube (Spoilers, obviously) 

And that’s about it for now! If more stuff comes to me, I’ll add it. But hopefully these tricks help you out!

[vexmagarchive-blog]

God Is A Carrot / VEX X Steve Hill

Steve Hill refuses to fit neatly into any category. A former Marine and peace officer, he is now a successful standup comic, real estate appraiser and local activist. He also made history in what is possibly the most bizarre election cycle ever, as the first openly Satanic public servant to run for office in America.

What’s especially contemptuous is that Steve ran in a district known as the Bible Belt of LA County, the Antelope Valley, and helped the Church of Satan challenge the Lancaster City Council to comply with religious freedom laws, and allow the Seven Tenets of Satan (think the 10 commandments of Satan)  displayed alongside a bible at Lancaster City hall. The group even organized to hold a Satanic ritual on 6/6/16, to teach concerned city officials about their beliefs.

This left a few fervently religious locals confounded and afraid, and all hell broke loose.

The unapologetic frankness with which he talked about his beliefs and his involvement in the ritual gave Steve a massive boost of social and mainstream media exposure, garnering attention from the likes of TMZ to even Time Magazine. The exposure netted him endorsements from VoteprogressiveCA.com , and several Bernie Sanders fans on social media. In the end, Steve lost the Senate race, but left his mark as one of the most fascinating and entertaining candidates to run for office. VEX caught up with Steve while taking a break from preparing his upcoming comedy special, and touched base with him on his religious views (or lack thereof) , and his vision of a better world.

What does Satan Represent to you? You know that the first or original place that you heard of Satan is in the Bible. Satan represents a stick. God represents a carrot. You know about the carrot and the stick? Good and evil. In the book that everyone is supposed to buy into, you were given God….which is so good, so perfect, pristine, omnipresent. And then you were given the Devil, which is diabolically and diametrically opposed, 180 degrees opposite, this Evil, this Wretched, just.. everything you can imagine. So, you were given the Devil to scare you with. You were given the Devil...to scare you. That’s fear based. And that’s what Satan represents to me. So … we don’t believe in Satan, per say, any more than we believe in God. We’re using satire to go, here: We’re everything you hate. We’re allll evil. And we’re gonna fight you with your own crap. When you buy city property, and turn it into churches...turn it into little community ‘faith based’ homes...then, We want one. We are ‘religious’. We ‘worship’ Satan. So...what makes your religion better than our religion? We want to be treated equally - it’s the in law. But more importantly - separation of church and state.

So is the purpose of Satanism just to debunk and troll Christianity? Basically. Its Satirical.

So if there was no Christianity would there be no need for Satanism? If they were not pushing their religion into our government, which is by the people and for the people, then no. We all don’t think alike, we all don’t worship alike. There are muslims, buddhists, but you don’t see any muslim faith based houses, do you? It’s just Christians. How obviously discriminatory is that? But people are cowards - they don’t wanna say nothing because they know they’re fighting a majority. Everybody likes the idea of religious faith based houses - until Satan shows up wanting one. But it’s just common sense - let’s have some fairness.

Do people try to join you completely ignorant of the fact that you’re atheist? Assuming that you’re Devil-worshippers? Well we do hold rituals - I don’t participate in them, but we had one in LA recently where it was off the chain - there’s was people suspended from the ceiling, and these long pillars of candles and smoke, so we do great shows, but we don’t believe in any of this. It’s all for satire. We mostly meet up, have some drinks and meet like minded people who enjoy our company. What you do when we leave here is your business.

So you don’t get a lot of weirdos? We get some, but we weed them out. There’s an application that you fill out and there’s some specific questions devised to weed out people who think that Satan’s really running around somewhere. But we try to make it abundantly clear we are atheists for the separation of church and state. We don’t worship shit.

I noticed a lot of fearful christians posting your interviews on pro-Bernie sites, trying to warn people of the dangers of voting for you. That backfired, because that exposure eventually got you an endorsement from  Vote Progressives CA. Do you think notoriety gave you that advertising boost you needed? Yeah, it was effective. Because people would go on my website, check out my facebook page and actually look at my platform.

How hard was it to get the 7 Tenet of Satan displayed at Lancaster City Hall? I know you guys had some protesters, but was anyone in the city council trying to turn you down? I think so, but what could they do? Of course we didn’t think they they would be all warm and fuzzy. But they wasted taxpayer money trying to fight it!

Is that why you guys decided to create a giant pentagram with GPS signals? Yes, and  their ‘opposing force’ was to hire a skywriter to make a giant cross in the sky. And it cost the city a lot of money.

In your run for Senate you actually came in 3rd place. I think the count was over 15,000 votes, which was about 13% of the vote.

But did you spend any money on advertising? I never saw any commercials, banners, flyers, none of that for you. No, the few donations I did get helped with my political consultants and paying for the debates. They were coming from across the country and were very small donations, between $10-$20. I think the biggest donation I got was $200. Running for office cost me about 5 Grand, but I didn’t care.  

You’ve mentioned before that the City is not displaying the tenets in a respectful way. Tell me whats happening there. They’re not being displayed at all! They probably threw them in the trash. I tried to speak to the City Manager during the [Black Lives Matter] rally, but he was leaving the rally before it even started. But those Tenets, those really mean something to us. We fight for LGBTQ rights, women’s reproductive rights, we’re ‘social justice warriors’. So the Tenets actually do mean something. If everyone could live by them, it’d be a better world. But people are out here praying - like, do you understand that we’re out here at a rally because people are killing us in the streets? And you’re praying to the same god as the people who are killing us in the fucking streets. It doesn’t make any sense to me.

It’s stockholm syndrome. One of the first things they teach you in the Marines, if you’re captured by the enemy, you might feel sympathy for them. When I was a guard at the penitentiary, if the prisoners got out and started to riot, they warned you - you might experience stockholm syndrome. But we have to stand up, get off your knees, and fight back.

Interview conducted by Jusy Franco

[readingbooksinisrael]

Book Tag

Tagged by the supremely awesome @justlikejosephine

Question 1: Children’s or adult’s books? -Definitely children’s. I am 100% sure I own more children’s than adult’s book anyways.

Question 2: Hardback or paperback? -Paperback. Hardbacks are heavy and I like how paperback’s look more. The only problem is they fall apart more easily :(

Question 3: Buy or borrow books? -I’d rather buy books, but money. I do love it when friends lend me books, though. Don’t let me leave their house without taking the book.

Question 4: Favorite picture book? -My family has an edition of The Little Match Girl with illustrations by Rachel Isadora and it. is. breathtaking.

Question 5: What fictional character would you like to marry (or be in a serious relationship with?) -That’s not really my thing, but Lizzy Bennett from the Lizzy Bennett Diaries, I guess (I started reading P&P with my mother yesterday but that Lizzy hasn’t reallu spoken much so far).

Question 6: Favorite fan cast -When I read Neverwhere I immediately imagined Daveed Diggs as the Marquis de Carabet and I am somehow convinced Neil Gaiman had this in his head too when writing the MdC. Also, remember that book of Philip Pullman’s where there’s a talking scarecrow? After discovering how adorable Thayne Jasperson is when ever he aings, acts or speaks I cast him as the farmer’s son off to find his fortune. Most other musical actors I like I just cast in different parts in the musical of Les Mis.

Question 7: Favorite crackship -Draco/apple

Question 8: Which book needs a musical adaptation? -All of them. Obviously. If you have a good enough behind the scenes team, and a good enough director and write you can make anythimg good. Evidence: The top most-looked-up-lyrics-of musicals on allmusicals.com are 1. a musical about the first Secretary of the Treasury, 2.High School Musical 3, 3.The Wicked Witch of the West is dead! (and also good), 4.Gay Mormons have a hard time in their mission in Africa (I actually didn’t listen to all of this, so forgive me if this is wrong) and, 5.Chicago, which I have no idea of what it’s about. Sorry this answer was so long.

Question 9: Do you read fanfiction and if you do, rec some of your favorites -I do, but they all are about very dark subjects like eating disorders, self harm and suicidal ideation so I don’t want to jusy put them down here.

Question 10: Do you write fanfic and if so, for what fandom? -I used to, but now I want to concentrate on my original writing. It was mostly Harry Potter and Hetalia.

Question 11: Favorite animal from a book -Every single dragon ever. And all the gossips in Hans Christian Anderson’s story about the chicken who plucked herself to death. And the poor chicken herself, of course.

Sorry for not tagging

[audi-10-blog]

Q&A

When i was a kid, I used to love collecting or recieving blank journal books as gifts- and also buying the cool pens to write in them. Anyone in Welly remember that Morning Glory on Manners Street? They had the coolest coloured pens and types of pens too!

Anyways, one of my favourite things to do was answer questions and also have my friends answer them in my journal. As I've gotten older i think asking yourself questions is such an important part of growth and reflection and it is really interesting to look back on your answers when you go back and read them years later.

I'm gonna get these from Pinterest and every now and then I'm gonna fill these out so I can look back and have a read one day :) rather than writing a daily entry or wtiting about events happening, i think this is an easier way to document my thoughts and moments in my life. let's start one now..

Sunday 5 July 2020

What would you say the best day of your life is so far?

I would say Saturday 17th January 2015...

Zac and I went on our first proper date for my birthday... I went to his house and we both got all dressed up and ready (i am so gutted we didnt take photos that night!!!). I wore a orange/melon coloured crop tank with a tank pencil skirt and tan stilettos. Zac actually spent the whole day shopping in town for a full outfit.. and bought some new shoes and a really nice light blue i love ugly button up shirt.

It was such a lovely night. We had dinner planned and then we were meeting with my friends afterwards to go out to town. This was really special cause it was going to be the first time he was going to meet everyone. He even made the sweet small gestures like opening doors for me.

We went to Matahorn for dinner which he paid for. Then we went to Flying Burito Brothers for a few Margaritas then met with everyone at Southern Cross :)

What was the worse day of your life and why?

Saturday 9th March 2010.. the day my aunty passed away. The day before was also really bad too cause I was really hoping for the best but absolutely preparing for the worse- i remember that day being really stressful. But Saturday, i had no feeling and jusy absolutely empty. It was so wierd and unfamiliar. I've felt heartbreak before and it was beyond that cause it was like i just died inside a bit.

If you could pick a meal for mum to someone to make you right now whay would it be?

I'm living with Zac' parents at the moment and also have not lived at my parents for awhile now so filo food is definitely something i would pick... i would pick Kare Kare

What do you admire the most about your dad?

I would say how when he is into something or involved he puts 100% effort into it. Whether it's coaching or reffing basketball. His career. Or collecting DVDs and magnets. Recently he's been dieting and also helping my mum cook (shes had some problems with her wrists) and doing hello fresh meals and is posting his meals on FB. Even though i do find him nerdly and OTT I admire how he doesnt go into anything with and drops it off halfway, he'll commit

What kind of music really moves you?

Honestly it really depends on the mood im in and i usually notice the music going deep into my sould when im on the bus or train LOL. This one is hard to answer but i like music that have unique beats and rhythms or memorable sounds e.g. Redbone - Childish Gambino or You and Me - Flume. But also music with powerful lyrics and stories.

What things does your sister do that frustrates you or encourages you?

Haha well this is awkward and im not sure if she'll ever read this. But something that frustrates me is around her loyalty. She will choose other people. For example, i had a falling out with a group of friends that she was also part of and i was bullied and phased out and she still remained friends with them and did not even stand up for me. I understood she disagreed on my part but to let people bully me and shut me out really broke me. She also met up with my ex best friends for dinner the other night... which i find wierd. I guess what really frustrating is that she'll probably understand or see how it affects me through my eyes. However, i guess it also taught me to just not give a shit over time and to just do what makes me happy. She gives me tough love and is one of those people that will be 100% honest and tell you things that you need to hear. It is quite sad though what has happened in the last couple of years.

What is something that your brother annoys or helps you?

Well i have two brothers. AJ is nowhere besr annoying as he was when we were kids lol he was a little shit but something that probably annoys me about him is probably the little time he makes to spend time with me- i always have to initiate catching up. However how he has helped me- little things but they matter. Like just being able to call/txt him to ask questions about tech stuff especially. One time i actually got scammed on my laptop and I called him straight away hahahaha fuck and he fixed it for me. He also has been there though when I've really needed him and been someone to cry to and hes been able to put me at ease.

Andrew-the baby. Well he was the cutest thing as a baby and toddler but between the ages of 7-11 i could not stand him.. i dont usually like those age groups in kids anyway. But i think something thay annoys me is his lack of awareness and being a bit more grown up.. i think about when I was his age (13) and i did way more things that him such as chores and goong going out etc. I do have to remember that it's not entirely his fault though..hes the baby and my parents wrapped him in cotton wool and are parents these days just not as loose with their children anymore?! On the flipside though- he makes me feel like i matter. Everytime he sees me, he hugs me and kisses me-even now as a 13 year old! He absolutely loves Zac aswell which is so sweet. He makes me feel so loved and wanted.

What is your dream job?

To be honest, I have a pretty cool job now as an Instructional Design Lead. If i really hated it I wouldnt be working-If i dont like something I always try to move on asap. But, if i could choose/create and money wasn't a factor it would be working with young kids and setting them up with basic life skills such as looking for a new job, preparing for job interviews, budgeting, learning about society and how to vote and also how to live a sustainable life and be waste/plastic free.

I'll leave it there for now. I'll be posting more Q&A as i go/remember lol

[gaylilfireball-blog]

Rant time (open for discussion if you want)

(Hey sheridan if you could just not read this thatd be great thanks)(but tbh i mean i cant stop you so🤷‍♀️)

Okay so yesterday i spent a better part of the day cuddling with this guy. Hes someone ive been friends with for almost a year and a half but its been a friendship mostly revolves around heloing each other through depression. Anyway last few months ive been working on actually making it a more thoughtful friendship bc he is genuinely a sweet guy.

About a week ago i hung out with him for the first time and we just walked around the mall being obnoxious teenagers and i walked with him to his apartment because he wanted to show it to me and i didnt want to make him walk by himself. Well then i was leaving and he ended up walking me back to my car at the mall. A few days after that we had planned to hang out again but this time at my house (wanted to meet the cats)

Like a day or two after that i kind of had a crisis and wasn't sure if i was developing feelings or not. I had a little crush but i wasnt sure if it was because i actually genuienly like him or if i was just latching on because he paid attention to me. He also has been pretty flirty for most of the time ive known him but its a small enough that it can still be considered friendly and him jusy being nice. I had asked about it previously and he mentioned that he tended to come across as flirty to a lot of people on accident. Anyway i did the ol' 20 questions thing and hinted out that there was a possibility of a crush but didn't mention anything after it

Hours later into the conversation he said that crush was mutual. I did make it fairly clear that i needed to figure out my jead and that i didnt know what was going on and that i wasnt promising anything. We continued the random q n a over the next day or two and it was a generally pretty open 20 questions. Didnt really not answer anything.

Well on the day he was coming over he planned to bring a movie (Rango) and i wanted to watch the black mirror movie so it was like already pre established we planmed to have casual movie day. We had both been keeping up the casual flirting and whatnot and like the night befire he had asked me if i wanted to cuddle as we watched movies. I did one of those like half answer things and basically did the "theoretically yes, realistically im anxious" but it was fine🤷‍♀️.

(I should probably preface with the fact that about 2 years ago i came out as pan rom and ace but like thats still very confusing bc honestly sexuality is hard? Ive dome some things that def werent ace and i enjoyed them kinda? More if the emotional aspect rather than any physical pleasure? But i still have very mixed feelings about said things so i dont even kmow anymore. Its kind of like i want to do and experience those things with another person (boy or girl) but like the thought if a dick kind of rly grosses me out and i dislike General nudity. So that aspect of my life is super wacky.)

(My first and only relationship was with a girl and it lasted about a year and 4 months. We lived pretty far away from each other (like a 30 min drive which was a lot bc neither of us amhad our license at the time) but we had been best friends for years prior. We did practice on the same team 12-16 hours a week together but we werent able to actually be a couple at the gym. Anyway we were already pretty close and comfortable with each other and it became like that physically as well. However i was very conflicted physically because i wanted the emotional bond that came with physical intimacy but the actual like pleasure aspect wasnt quite there. In the moment it was generally fine and enjoyable but ive never really understood like the big deal kind of? And afterwards it was kind of uncomfortable to think about so i mostly just ignored it. I also think i allowed myself to go too fast bc we knew each other really well but not necessarily in the relationship aspect. So we had been dating for 3 months maybe but i would have only seen her outside of practice like 4 times? I domt know im just kimd of scared of doing that again)

But anyway back to my story. Yesterday the boy camw to my house and it was pretty casual playing uno and joking around with each other. We started watching rango and were sitting on two pieces of a sectional together but not really together id you know what i mean. It was more of like separate cushions and i was leaning up against the wall on a pillow but our legs were touching. (He totally thought at one point he was playing footsie with me but it actually my shin. That was pretty hilarious) He also made a terrible joke "why are you using that pillow when theres a 6'2" one right here" (yes he is tall boy but i am tall girl so its fine) (i didnt take him up on the offer either.)

We had later moved to my bed to watch black mirror on my phone and were laying on our stomachs side by side. Totally ended up pressed together along oir sides and he was playing with my feet but it was warm and nice but goodness i was nervous. There was so much like tension.

I ended up flipping onto my back (bc i can only lay on my front for so long befire my shoulders and arms absolutely die) and told him he could do whatever but that i was laying on my back. He took that as an invitation to cuddle on me (it kind of was ) and thank god bc i was losing my mind. It just started out with his head on my shoulder/chest but as we got more comfortable his arm was around me and i was leaning into him.

Anyway(how amny times do you think ima say this lord) it was real nice and all but what inspired this rant was that i wish id like participated more in cuddling or like done something more with it. But then again im also like noooo dont go too fast calm doooown.

I also have the problem of like not being completely attracted to him. More of emotionally attracted but maybe im alao just attracted to the idea of him and i really could put anybody in that place? But he keeps fishing for compliments and its rly hard bc im not one to be untruthful but i look at hom and its just ?? I dont know. Thinking back to my ex girlfriend i never particularily found her attractive until we agreed there was mutual feelings and right before we dtarted dating? Then she basically became the light of my life and was perfect in my eyes. Kind of hoping that happens with this boy but i dont know.

I really just dont wanna like get his hopes uo and like keep it going that hey i like you and thrn jist kind of throw it all away later? But i also really love this whole like casual awkward flirting and im desparate for cuddles in my life. But it could also just be with anyone and i feel terrible for it.

So yeah what do??

Also thanks for actually reading through this clusterfluff mess of writing. Gosh this actually could be like a fanfic i wrote wow. Idk feel free to leave your thoughts ig. Do you want you want😂🤷‍♀️🙃

[prophetic-dreams]

Dream journal/personal stuff

DISCLAIMER: This is literally filles with mistakes i left on purpose to have a sense of dreamlike blurryness of information in thsiisso..HER EWE GO!!

Literally jusy had a dream where i wa sin rhe same schoool ad vilde/ulrikke and we were bets frens amd o had a huge crush on her but we hold hands sall the time and almost kissed in the lunch queue . All studenst. Lived in a house/room and in the same bed with me ndoora/leena. Leena was a teach but i saw her leave so a bunch of us ditched and went downstairs to the place where trash and other stuff is but we couldnt be seen. Daniel radcliffe was driving a truck somehow.

(Idk if this was prt of the same dream but here it is)

Cassian andor was talking to jyb erso before the mission to dwhere they would die.web he fugured out she had killed a rebel oficer but didnt tell anyone. We neede to wait for a plane to land without visibility on by the side of a road.there were land mines just next to us so we hd to careful. My niece of seven yrs old just walked past me with blue hair and went to my twin sister who was a little further away. I read her name in a news article. W—-. She wanted to open christmas presents so we did.i also thought about how i would die on our mission because i new how the movie went so we all had to die. W—- later appeared in ort apartment at the school ant bight when i came back home. I tried to look for food but came up empty. Last thing i remember is me and vilde together. Holding hands in the cafeteria and hugging.feels so good man. Also feel like an earthquake is happening. But is is the fireworks outisde they are so early because there are no restrictions. I see some people watching them form a computer anf saying that ee shoud do it like in finnöand . Beginning at six pm. And stopping at two am. /// So now im sad bc i dont hav a gf and i think i have a serious crush on vilde/her actress, but that is also giving me validation that im not strainght cause i have kind of internalized homophobia or that i dont belive myself that i like girls. Or im gay o r. Bi.but whebever i picture myself having sex w/ a man i am disgusted. However i dont mind other romo stuff w/ men or women. Sex with women doesnt bother me in my mind. I would loooove to try it somedayy .