#but also i haven't heard from him since the beginning of november and he's NEVER ONCE offered to visit me

[killerchickadee]

Like, you try not to be resentful and bitter that everyone else is spending time with their family right now, and you're just chilling alone in your apartment as always. Like. That's an effort.

But sometimes it isn't easy.

But you try anyway cause you don't want to be That Guy and also being resentful and bitter doesn't do you any good.

[alliseaisfandom]

Some Coven of Chaos headcanons

(I haven't watched the finale yet and so I'm coping already just in case. For arguments sake we assume the road was real and at the end it gave Jen, Billy, Agatha and Rio the rest of the coven back, because I'm sappy and live in denial)

They're all alive and meet for holidays. Keep that in mind for the rest of the list.

Jen mixes the best drinks. Alcoholic or not, everyone is convinced there's magic involved. She's got a lifelong ownership of the liqueur cabinet at everyone's house.

Alice can play the cello. Billy is the only one who knows this fact. That is until he can get her tipsy enough to break it out someday play for the coven (he almost got it at Samhain)

Lilia has a "memorial pool" in her backyard.

She was also the one to veto Cats out of Billy's suggestion list for musicals they could go to

Said musical outing has yet to happen since almost everyone voted in a different thing

Agatha voted for wicked.

Rio voted for beetljuice (there was a fight over this, Billy remembers very little of it other than hearing Eddie yell "just because you say it three times doesn't mean your vote counts more". It was the first time he brought Eddie to meet the Coven, and sure at the time he didn't know he was arguing with Death Herself, but Billy was impressed regardless)

Lilia voted for Carmen. When told that Opera was not on the list, she argued that dying granted her an extra vote.

Alice agreed, and so West Side story lives on Billy's whiteboard with 2 votes

Jen voted first and picked Chicago, which Billy also voted for, unfortunately when he tried using Lilia's argument, he was reminded rather aggressively and extensively by Rio that being unmade and Dying are actually two very different things

It's the most anyone has ever heard her talk at once and Billy still regrets not taking out his notebook to remember more of it

Unfortunately he only remembered that he did in fact die as William after he and Eddie were on their way home

Rio hates easter with a passion. She has a great time during Good Friday and then sulks for the rest of the weekend

She also steers clear of most of South America and southern Europe in the ends of cotober-beginning of November, not that she doesn't like the Death related holidays, it's just that people keep spotting her even when she doesn't want them to! It's exclusive to that time of year and she's been trying - and failing- to stop it for centuries

The Titanic was a gift from Agatha to Rio. Yes the Iceberg was an accident, in the way that it rendered useless the very precarious fire she'd set to one of the engine rooms

Rio was very thankful.

Billy's school organised an end of year trip to Italy. That night he got a call from Lilia where she told him the best places to go to, what tourist traps to avoid, and asked if he could bring her back a package stashed away under the floorboards of what he eventually found out was a heavily guarded historical monument

The first time they all actually got together to celebrate anything was Alice's birthday dinner

Agatha found herself with 6 unwanted guests in her kitchen and zero explanation. She did not kick them out, a fact she loudly proclaims to regret as often as possible

There is a group chat

Billy, Alice e and Rio are the most active in it, with Jen following, a bit behind because she "actually has a real job that takes up time that you all seem to have free for some reason" (her herb garden died that afternoon and she refused to answer any of Rio's texts for a week after that.)

Lilia never interacts, and they're not entirely sure she receives the messages, as everyone's phones glitch when they try to check

Agatha leaves them on read

Jen was invited to a beauty event in New York. She brought Billy as her plus one, who proceeded to act as her agent all night, getting her two new brand deals, and a spot on a talk show. She brings him along every time now

To be continued

[buckets-and-trees]

haunting thoughts on Silent Screams

read it here: SILENT SCREAMS IN WILDEST DREAMS

Fandom: MCU Characters/Pairings: Bucky x Reader, side of Steve Word Count: 8k Content Warnings: dark dark DARK tale, smut, main character death, rough sex, fingering, oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v sex, creampie, talk of wounds, slight dub/con, elements of somnophilia

RECAP: A dark tale with an unhappy ending. Just when you’ve married the man of your dreams, only just closed the chapter of your honeymoon, happily ever after is wrenched away, and you’re met with a nightmare you never could have imagined.

I published this in late November 2022, but I worked on it on and off between other projects for about six weeks from concept to research to writing. I wrote it for @darkficsyouneveraskedfor's Hallo-Cream Extravaganza, which was a cool challenge because there was a collection of numbered images you could choose from, and then when my image was confirmed, there was a prompt to go along with it.

It was also my first time participating in a challenge since getting back into writing fanfic. When I thought I was getting the sun alone, I was thinking vampires, but when I got the phrase along with the image, it halted the vampire idea I thought I would go with, and since I was already going to re-evaluate, it got my mind going even more. At the time I was also redefining a lot of pieces in my life and I had signed up to go solo on this 5-day retreat to a cabin in the woods... I ended up talking about some of the research and concept ideas for this fic on the six-hour drive to and from that cabin with a girl I carpooled with (we talked about so many things as you do with a stranger you just met when you're both going to the same retreat and want to save on gas). But I'll put the rest under a cut so as not to spoil for those who haven't read it.

When I realized it wasn't going to be vampires, I really wanted to then get totally outside of the box of things we see all the time. I decided I wanted to look up Scandinavian folklore as I was also trying to throw off some of the USAmerican culture I'd just been sitting in my whole life and explore some of my ancestral heritage. I figured there had to be a ton of stuff I'd just never learned about or heard of before and of course there was. One of the ideas I have buried for another day is to do kind of a Grimm or Phillip Pullman thing and do an anthology retelling of some of Scandinavian folktales because they were fascinating, and there were elements I was familiar with alongside very new pieces. It was so cool to begin to uncover the stories there...

But I was looking for a story that would also fit my prompt and lend itself to Bucky x Reader application.

I found the Gengångare. The lore is that they're a revenant/walker, and particularly in the Swedish tradition they're a corporeal form of a spirit that comes back after death. The spirit would have been murdered or killed and came back for mixes of revenge or unfinished business. That I could give Bucky - going on a mission, being killed, and having both revenge he could seek (against still living HYDRA folks who tormented and used him) and unfinished business in a promise that he makes to you, his reader newlywed bride, to come back to you.

And so the story begins with what I was hoping to be this blissful newlywed haze - the first morning after your honeymoon. Bucky is leaving for a mission - he'd said they were leaving later than he's actually going to leave because he didn't want you to get up hours before you needed to in order to send him off, but he does wake you up to share some kisses and say goodbye, it gets a little more heated, but there's no time for smut since he has to go, but he promises to pick up where you to left off when he returns, and there we have the tie he makes to come back to you.

I listen to music heavily throughout the day, but I wrote this fic with some very specific music through different sections. And for the opening, I was listening to This Love by Taylor Swift because its very romantically evocative for me, but some of the lyrics I knew could also be ripped into the horrific elements of this story, and so I truly loved it for that even more! - this love is good/this love is bad/this love is alive back from the dead

Then there are some other deep musical cues that when I was writing the rest of the fic, I was literally listening to these songs on repeat - a track from Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, two tracks from Netflix's The Empress series, etc - and so I actually embedded the Spotify players for them at particular parts for the particular songs. That's the only fic where I've so heavily "scored" it.

I put into the narrative that they didn't recover a body from Bucky for what I never specifically defined but figure was an explosion or an accident of some sort where not finding a body would be believable - but it's the Gengångare Bucky escaping. His undead soul seeks some revenge first, then he's pulled back to your door, but I wanted/tried to imply that he moves by these motivations and doesn't really remember much until he encounters something. So he shows up back on your doorstep, and it's as he interacts with you that he remembers more and more pieces of himself that are added back into the primal gengångare motivations.

The sex after he returns is frequently more rough and desperate, but since you're just as desperate for him, you don't question that it's the fact that his nature has changed - no longer human, but a creature that needs to leech the energy of another living thing to survive. He doesn't realize it at first either. But the first night he returns, his body is very cold, and he gets warmer the longer he's with you.

His bruises haven't healed, and you notice that, but he brushes it off. There's an inadvertent pinching on your back that's the beginning of the marks he can't help consuming you. He's truly insatiable, but since you were so consumed with grief and so deeply and desperately in love, you don't question it. When you finally do bring up having Bruce examine him or bringing Steve into things, he doesn't want that and presents good reasons - not wanting to be a body poked and prodded, and not wanting to worry Steve until he has more of his memory cleared up.

There's only a little bit of Alpine in this fic, but Alpine can tell that something is wrong with Bucky and so she is not around when he is at all after he comes back. The sex is exhausting, but it's because it's with this creature form of Bucky taking more and more of your life.

And then the spill of the story/the reveal. And it's all discovered when you're basically doomed by your love. And he literally makes love and fucks you to death, and is still so in love with you while doing it. Very sad. And his goodbye is the same goodbye he said to you in the first scenes of the story.

This was the darkest thing I'd written up to this point, and I really just wanted it to feel gothic and doomed, but twisted up in this all-consuming love. As I knew where the story was headed, I sort of just took deep breaths and steadied myself to dive into letting it have its dark ending. And I loved taking it there even though it was kind of scary for my first time. It was very haunting to write and I really tried to convey that feeling and have it bleed through.

↠ Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

read more from the Dark Forest Fest

[usmsgutterson]

Caaaallllllllll 🩷 how have you been, love??? Are you on summer break yet?

I've heard your call for fic requests and I have one for Pin! What if Pin and his dad are family friends/neighbors of an old lady, and Pin has been helping take care of her during the winter since she lives alone. Then Reader, the woman's granddaughter, comes to live with her when her parents die, Pin teaches her how to ride, the fall in love, the whole 9 yards.

Thoughts?

Get Together- Pin Hawthorne x fem! reader

hi! I've not quite hit summer break yet--I've got like, seven and a half weeks left and in that time there's prom, senior skip day, a whole lot of studying, three classes worth of exams, grad rehearsal and then grad itself--but I am literally counting down the days til summer and even though I hate the warm weather I also cant wait for it, honestly.

What about you? How are things on your end? I hope all is well!

Fic type- fluff

Warnings- mentions of death, mentions of car accidents, a mention of making out (referenced as a snog)

"Ah," said a spry older woman as she noticed the sight of a dark blue toyota camry rolling into her driveway. "My grandbaby is here! Edward, do me a favor and help me down the front steps?"

"Of course, Mrs. L/N," Pins father intoned. Pin tried to hide his smile as he leaned back in the rocking chair that the elderly woman kept on her front porch, gently rocking back and forth by gently pushing the back of his foot off the ground.

Pin had been nineteen, would be twenty in February--it was barely the beginning of November, and Pins father had volunteered him to help take care of Mrs. L/N two, nearly three years beforehand--and still, he'd never quite met the person who stepped out of the camry when it was parked.

He watched Mrs. L/N approach you, saw your tired grin and puffy cheeks as you pulled your grandmother into a hug.

"Pin!" She called. "You must come down here this instant! I have someone I want you to meet."

"Grandma," Pin heard you say exasperated. "Don't make him get up! Don't make him do anything. I didn't mean to cause a fuss."

"You haven't," Pin called. "If you're fine to let me stay in my seat I'll gladly do so. My name is Pin Hawthorne."

You grinned at him, watched his tongue dart out to wet his lips before he returned the gesture to you.

"Y/N L/N," Mrs. L/N said proudly. "My granddaughter! She's just transfered to an asynchronous online program through a university in the city, and she'll be living with me until she finishes her degree in about three years time."

"What's your major?" Pins father asked.

"Writing," you said. "Creative writing. I'm minoring in journalism as a back up."

"Pin is currently enrolled at the same uni," Pins father said. "Should be catching up on his coursework before exams in December, but alas, you can't win them all."

Pin laughed easily as you came up the stairs, letting your grandmother hold onto you to keep herself steady.

"What's your major then, Hawthorne?" You asked.

"He's on his way to becoming a farm vet," Pins father intoned. "He'll work for the local horses stables. Only difference is that they'll have to start paying him for his contributions."

"They do well enough."

"Because you rescued them from bankruptcy and they find you terrifying."

You cast a glance at your grandmother. "Are they always like this?"

"Unfortunately, yes," she responded, giving you a reassuring grin. "But Pin is more sarcastic then his father, and Ted here is always the one who gets it started. One look, though, and they'll both shut right up."

"Or a cup of tea," Pin said.

"Biscuits," his father admitted, a guilty expression on his face. "Oh my word, your grandmother makes them wonderfully."

"Yes I do," your grandmother said with a proud grin. "Now, inside! You've flown, taken a train, and you've driven. You must be bloody exhausted. Rest up, we'll have dinner and tea in three hours."

You nodded at your grandmother, turned your gaze to Pin and his father.

"See you two in a bit," you said. "Lovely to meet you both."

Pin and his father both nodded, and when you'd fallen out of his line of sight, Pin turned his gaze to his feet in an attempt to hide the grin that'd spread to his face.

He ignored it when his father lightly elbowed his forearm, offered your grandmother a grin when she tutted at his and his fathers antics.

He offered her an arm. When she took it, he let her lean on him and lead him into the kitchen, his father following closely behind.

-

The weeks to follow were simple. Pin would come to yours and your grandmothers place to help look after her and to work on his studies.

The two of you often found yourselves in the sitting room on opposite ends of the couch, idly chatting as you typed away at an assignment or reviewed coursework to prep for exams that December.

Eventually, Bright Fields came up. Pin offered to teach you to ride using the horse your parents had kept in the stables before they'd passed, had told you you didn't have to do anything with the horse if you didn't feel comfortable with it yet.

Pin had ended up staying later and later, helping you take care of your grandmother during the day and relaxing with you in your room during the night, laughing and drinking tea that'd gone cold and studying together for the upcoming semester exams.

Without realizing it, you'd opened up to one another, had begun to rely upon the other person. By the end of that January, you'd told Pin about the accident--your survival, your parents deaths--and in turn, Pin had told you some of what happened with his mother.

At the end of that January, you'd finally taken Pin up on his offer to teach you to ride. You'd go to Bright Fields after your grandmother had called it a night, laugh and joke as Pin taught you basics and eventually you were almost better at it then he was.

It was when his father had offered to take his place in looking after your grandmother for a couple of days that he realized his father had known everything the whole time.

"A tip for subtility next time around," his father had said as he passed Pin a mug of tea. "Don't blush every damn time your phone dings with a text from her. Gives you away right quick, it does."

Pin nearly snorted, but managed to keep his composure. "I wasn't trying to be subtle," he said. "I have nothing to be subtle about."

"You're in love with her and you haven't even noticed?" His father asked incredulously. "Goodness, even with my lack of luck in the significant other department, I thought I raised you better. Mrs. L/N thought Y/Ns parents did a decent job too, but it seems she's just as oblivious to it as you are."

"I'm not oblivious," Pin had known he'd fall in love with you quickly from almost the get-go. He'd realized it the very day you met, and it was March. Spring was only two weeks away from donning on the island. "I do know that I'm in love, I just was raised by you. Love confessions really aren't the Hawthorne specialty."

His father laughed. "Fair enough," he said. "Just say something before it's too late. She's got a place at Bright Fields with the usual crew, and I'm sure Marcus has noticed. He'll try to bro-talk it with you, no doubt."

Pin scrunched his lips. He didn't much like the idea of talking his love life with anyone except someone he was in love with, and the idea that Marcus, of all people, might've found it an interesting point of discussion made him want to die.

"Yeah. I'll bring it up with her."

Pins father nodded. "Good lad. Enjoy your tea, I'll go check in next door and see how things are with Y/N and her grandma."

Pin nodded, took his tea up to his room as his father left.

-

"It's nothing big," Zoe said. "Just something small, to celebrate Spring. A get together!"

The two of you were in the stables, you running a brush along the horse your grandmother had kept in case you'd ever wanted to learn riding like your mother had once. The horse was called Luna, her coat a silvery white color.

"At the Dukes estate," you rebutted. "A get together is not a get together when it involves a butler named Arthur, nor when it involves professional chefs."

"It could be," Zoe said. "A get together is a get together when people get together."

You scoffed. "Get togethers in America are chips, sugary soda, a couple of bags of Sour Patch Kids dumped into a big ass bowl, some shitty lighting and fake laughter amongst people who are regretting agreeing to go within five seconds of their arrival."

"You miss it?"

"Somewhat," you laughed. "Oh, American get togethers were just small parties. I do miss that part, but I do not miss the stale beer or the stench of sweat. College parties were almost worse, though."

"Was it that bad?" Zoe asked. "Oh, you are so going to make me glad I chose to take asynchronous online schooling. I have to wake up at three am for zoom calls in the states sometimes, but if it means I don't attend shitty college parties it will be so much more worth it than I'd thought."

"College parties are glorified high school get togethers with shitty plastic solo cups to indicate relationship status. I used to always pick 'happily coupled' just to avoid being hit on so that I could drink my stale vodka in peace."

Zoe snorted. "Yeah. Feeling blessed. Thank you."

You laughed as you finished brushing Luna, placing the brush on the hook you'd always kept it on.

You turned to the entrance of the stable in time to catch Pins eye, the grin spreading to your face before you could stop it.

"Hi," Pin greeted. "Zoe, would you be all right if I took a minute to talk to Y/N?"

"Go ahead," Zoe said, shooting Pin a look and an eyebrow raise as she grabbed Lunas lead with the intention of passing her to Becky so that she could get some exercise because it had been a busy few days and you hadn't had time to see her at the stables with everything going on.

"Do tell her what a get-together is, though! She's got it wrong!" Zoe called as she walked further away, closing the stable door behind her.

Pin glanced at Zoes back before turning to you, confusion and surprise both present in his gaze.

"What was that?"

"Living on the island for too long has poisoned her," you said nonchalantly. "She thinks a get together is a party with a minimum of fifty people. I think it's like the shit I dealt with in college before my grandmother needed some extra help to look after her and I transferred. I think it's stale vodka, the stench of frat boy sweat, shitty lighting and laughter that makes ones ears hurt."

"Zoes right."

"How dare you?" You asked. "You were supposed to be my ally in this, Hawthorne! How dare?"

Pin shrugged. "Can't help it. She is."

"A get together is not fifty--you know what? You're going to make me sound like a bloody broken record. I am not doing that shit."

Pin laughed, and your heart fluttered for a moment.

"Calling it a get together is how the over twenty-five islander crowd discusses partying," Pin said after a moment. "It's 'we're going to get together, probably get drunk and definitely do something stupid regardless of how sober or not sober we are, but we're not in our early twenties and partying sounds too reckless.'"

"It is not," you said. "Hawthorne, you've found the hill I'm willing to die on. A get together and a party are very different things."

Pin smirked at you, shook his head as though he meant to clear his mind.

"I was wondering if you had a minute to talk," he said. "Not about the debate that we will most definitely be continuing later, but about something different."

"Yeah," you gave a nod, leaning against the stable wall. "Shoot."

"I'm in love with you," he blurted.

You thought on it for a few moments. You'd fallen for him too, across the five months you'd known him. You fell in love quick and hard, and somehow it seemed like it was paying off.

"Ditto," you said.

Pin scoffed. "That was easier than I tho--ditto?"

"Yes, Hawthorne. Ditto. It's very American of me, but if I say that I love you back I might just melt into a clingy puddle and I am not ready for you to see that side of me yet."

He scoffed again, though you couldn't help but notice his grin. "May I kiss you?"

"Please," you responded. He stepped forward, cupped your face in his hands and kissed you. You kissed back, arms moving to rest on either of his shoulders. You felt weightless almost, like nothing mattered more in that moment than the two of you did.

As you pulled away, you heard clapping. Pins arms wrapped around your waist as you pulled him close, not daring to look up and meet the gazes of those you knew were standing outside of the stable doors.

"Finally!" Marcus called. "I've been watching this trainwreck for five months, and finally it happened!"

"We're not a trainwreck!" Pin called back.

"Oh, yes you are! First, you meet at Y/Ns bloody grandmothers house," Mia called.

"Then you fall in love over tea, creative writing essays and fucking biology assignments," Zoe added.

"And now, look at you lot! Having a snog in a bloody stable!" Gabby finished off.

"We were not having a snog," you fired back, ignoring the heat in your cheeks. "It was a kiss--one kiss! Stop being lewd."

Pin let you go as the two of you turned, letting you grab his hand instead, other hand moving to rest on his elbow as your fingers interlaced.

"Did you at least bring up the--" Zoe started, cutting herself off. "The thing, relating to the other thing that's happening at your estate?"

"He's taken your side on the get-together debate."

"I'm taking Y/Ns out of spite from here on," Pin mumbled. "And loyalty."

You snorted where Zoe scoffed. "She's wrong and you know it!"

"I'm loyal!" Pin said in his defense. "Kill me, Zoe. Kill me for my loyalty. How would that look on your resume?"

You leaned up and pressed a kiss to Pins cheekbone, shooting Zoe a pointed look.

"Oh, fuck off! Both of you!" Marcus shouted. "Ah, now they're a couple, it's going to be hell around here."

"Oh no! Two people holding hands, kissing, and taking the other persons side in group arguments! How awful!" You mocked, one part of you wishing you and Pin were at your place, relaxing and trying to do course work, one of your hands idly running through his soft brown hair.

The other part of you wanted to be in the field you and Pin had found a good distance from the beach, leant up against a tree as you drank tea you'd poured into flasks and talked about anything and everything.

Pin gave your hand a squeeze. "All right," he said. "That's enough gawking, you all have work that needs doing."

Marcus gave a mock salute, Zoe and Mia nodded.

Gabby nodded. "Marcus is wrong. You'll be good for each other."

"Thanks," you and Pin said.

You were almost entirely sure that, since the deaths of your parents, since your survival after the accident, those moments were some of the first wherein you felt genuine happiness again.

[sherlockianscholar]

part 1 (1985-1990): the saga of jeremy brett through the scuttlebutt archives

go here for part two!

since 1971, sherlockian and baker st irregular, peter blau has published a small "gossip" sheet for all sherlock holmes news under publication of the "scuttlebutt from the spermaceti press." after the advent of computers, peter started digitizing all his sheets from 1985 onward.

i went through blau's archives to look for any tidbits on jeremy brett. what i found tells jeremy's saga as granada's sherlock holmes. some of the entries are very straightforward. some of them require reading through the lines. some of them are just fun background bits of granada. but all of them paint jeremy's story through little snippets of news.

March 1985: granada premieres in america! vincent price quoted edgar w. smith, one of the foremost sherlockians in history :)

July 1985: the beginning of the closing chapter of his life

for some reason these are the only pictures i can find of joan and jeremy together, but they are absolutely adorable

August 1985 #1

August 1985 #2: jeremy's flightiness around the role trickles to the press. though he'll never say why.

"'and then i hang my pipes up,'" he said with a smile." his feelings regarding holmes were dangerous before joan's death and only got worse.

to quote producer june wyndham-davies, "when his depression was upon him, and he suffered from depression of the worst kind, he was a different person entirely. i've never known anyone whose personality could change so much. he would become aggressive and not want to continue. i had so many conversations with jeremy about not wanting to continue as sherlock holmes. he felt that sherlock holmes had turned him into a monster. jeremy brett was like that before he ever came to sherlock holmes, but it wasn't his fault and it certainly wasn't sherlock holmes fault."

December 1987: i didn't know he commissioned the play, the secret of sherlock holmes! and helped write it!!

February 1988: damn, that's audacious

May 1988: i can only imagine how much more would've been created and executed if jeremy hadn't gotten sick

okay but, the dog in the hound of the baskervilles is named khan. the movie is literally the wrath of khan.

June 1988: i can't pinpoint the timeline for when jeremy's mental illness became public knowledge and published by the media. however, from this short news clipping, it doesn't seem like they knew the real reason jeremy's hair was cut short. and almost certainly not that he chopped it off himself.

"jeremy just got into one of his manic states—you know, i hate sherlock holmes etc., and one day he cut his hair. in front of the mirror, he lopped bits off. i remember the first time I saw him after he had done it. we were both appearing in an 80th birthday tribute to sir laurence olivier at the national. he turned up at the theatre and i said, 'god, what have you done to your hair?' it was patently obvious it had not been cut by a barber—there were bits sticking up all over." -edward hardwicke

July 1988: the age of jeremy brett! forget the victorian era, this is the jeremerian? brettian? era

October 1988 #1

October 1988 #2: jeremy's insecurities shine through more. high praise for daniel day-lewis. "don't worry you haven't heard or seen the last of him!" congrats to jeremy for introducing lewis to america LOL. yay for play success! (also what does he mean by saying the private life of sherlock holmes is a "damaged film?" robert stephens was one of jeremy's life long best friends--stephens died exactly 2 months after jeremy. coincidentally, jeremy's ex-boyfriend, paul shenar, died exactly one month after jeremy.)

October 1988 #3: L O L

November 1988 #1: jeremy's opinion matters!

November 1988 #2: in my opinion, "bending the willow" is the most important part of jeremy's interpretation of holmes

August 1989: michael cox (the cornerstone of creating and shaping the first half of granada's run) begins to make his (very forced) exit. jeremy's physical health problems are becoming apparent, but they are brushed away by the actor, attributing his breathing issues and weight gain to heavy smoking. and once again, jeremy tries to cast off holmes, without revealing his true reasons.

according to granada's page on the arthur conan doyle encyclopedia, this is what was really happening:

"the performances were probably cathartic for him, but required excessive physical effort from a man with a worsening heart condition who, due to the enormous water retention caused by the lithium, found it difficult to breathe and move. he was forced to leave the theatre and go to hospital, where he stayed for a fortnight and had more than twelve litres of water removed from his body. by 1989 brett and hardwicke, who had supported him with boundless patience, were on their knees. brett took a short holiday but had to be rushed home and hospitalized: the treatments for his bipolar disorder and his heart condition had clashed."

i strongly recommend reading edward's later comments of his difficulties with jeremy during the show: link here

October 1989: two months later, jeremy has yet again changed his mind on continuing as sherlock holmes

November 1989: philip purser how d a r e you say that about my beloved watson. of course, it's from the daily mail, so his opinion doesn't matter.

December 1989: granada undergoes major changes. the conservative government was actively attacking the british media and coming after their budgets. after ousting all of the original leaders of granada's sherlock holmes, the new priorites were based off of ratings and profitability. "you must always remember that your business is to form the market as well as to supply it, [otherwise] your career will have succeeded only in restraining the arts, tarnishing the virtues, and throwing confusion into the manners of your contemporaries." -a granada staffer to the new leaders of the show

January 1990: jeremy finally feels stable in the role, but i think without that dance with "the dark side of the moon" he felt like he lost a key element in his portrayal of holmes. even though he had always been terrified of that instabiity.

end of part 1, so here's part two!

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Re-Watch of Conquer, Religion in the Daryl Spinoff, and the PPP Card

@galadrieljones:

Finally watched Conquer tonight. I have nothing to add that hasn’t already been said, other than that I can see why many older theories thought Beth might show up with the Wolves.

Morgan finds that Hannah Fairlight magazine in Coda. She’s a native American singer dressed as such with a wolf tattoo, then the Wolves come along in Conquer with their story about wolf resurrection. “There’s gonna be a party when the wolf comes home,” etc.

Obviously, she didn’t come back. What is the reason for this deceit? So much has been learned since, about tptb and their oblique mannerisms. They never hit the nail head on. It’s usually slanted, in some way.

The Wolves were a red herring, like the man in the poncho. The real enemy in season 6 is hubris. It’s what leads Negan to their door. It’s worth noting that Beth does make an “appearance” in season 6, as Tina, and then Denise. She’s being “resurrected” through other characters, like the wolves of old. Anyway, I am gonna think on this more…

Also there’s some weird dream dialogue in Conquer. In the beginning after the credits, Rick wakes up, and he laughs, and when Michonne asks him what’s so funny, he says to Michonne something curious.

He says, “It’s like the train car. After the whole thing, I’m still there.” Later on he says, “We’re here,” about being in Alexandria, and she says something like, “You just said you’re not.” Sort of weird timing to bring up “A.” Something else I want to think on a bit.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Yeah, good points about the weird Rick dialogue. I haven’t watched that in a long time, and I’d forgotten that. We know tptb don’t ever waste dialogue or screen time, so they would have inserted that dialogue with a specific purpose in mind.

@wdway:

This afternoon I was just scrolling through some old comicbook articles and there was one from November 21by Cameron Bonomolo that I'm sure that we talked about at that time but there was a little piece of information in there that I don't remember seeing in any other article. Norman talking about his spin-off. Everything else I've heard or read about repeatedly.

He mentions a religious vibe to the spinoff. I thought that was more than a little interesting. The fact that we haven't seen or heard him mention it again might be very telling. Just thought I'd let you see it for yourself and if this is something that you guys have seen other places I really like to hear about it.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

I kind of vaguely remember reading that line back when the article first came out. But you're right. I don't think I've seen it talked about anywhere else. When he says it will be a religious vibe, I envision it being religion like TDVC is religious. Can't wait to see what goodness the spinoff brings us!

@wdway:

Changing gears for a moment. The other day I was just reading comments on a TWD site that had an article about the PPP card. I always read the comments usually more often than the actual articles.

Someone had thrown out the idea that PPP could stand for Philadelphia and Paris but could not come up with a third P. Just thought that was kind of interesting. Although I truly don't think they had Paris in mind back when we first saw the card in the episode Swear but things do change.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

I agree. Gimple had something specific in mind for that card, and we don't know what. I guess I could believe he might have meant Paris if they'd always planned on the French thing, which is mentioned by Jenner in the pilot episode. I just think he wouldn't have known that they would be filming on location. But they might have just figured they would still film in Georgia and "say" it was Paris, like they did with D.C. I don't know. I guess we'll know when they tell us. ;D

@wdway:

How about Project Primrose, Paris? Except I don't think that Paris was Primrose was it? Anyway you could play with this all day and not have the answer.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Yeah, for sure! Sounds good to me. But yeah. No way to know for certain. But fun to speculate about! ;D

@galadrieljones:

I like this one! Primrose team was based out of France but in Toledo at the time of the Fall, which means they were stateside. I think one of them could have been TB Ellis, since the woman from the Violet Team has a folder full of her papers on her computer, and Primrose Team seems to be the team she thinks could actually find a cure. Also idk if it would make sense but Portland starts with a P. That’s where Major General Beale’s kid is from. Portland Paris Philadelphia = PPP

@wdway:

I love this. Fun to guess what it could mean. We do have months and months to go before we have anything solid to go on. I couldn't remember if Paris was Primose or not so thanks for clearing that up. I do need to go back an watch s2 of TWB as a refresher on Primrose and Team Violet. I was going to wait for a while to rewatch but who knows I might just decide to watch a few out of order episode some afternoon along with Tales of the Dead episode 5? Wasn't that the one with the PPP card? I believe it is.

@galadrieljones:

Yes, it’s Davon with the ppp card. I’m still super intrigued by him. He’s out there somewhere. And so is the madman who shot him.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Lol. I love that last line you typed. Something that can only be said with a straight face during a TWD discussion.

@galadrieljones:

ROFL

I wonder if we know the madman who shot Davon…? Another creepy thing to hear somebody say if you don’t have the necessary context.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

So true!

[wandsolsen]

Champagne Problems

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: In which Wanda rejected your marriage proposal, inspired by Taylor Swift's song Champagne Problems.

Warnings: pure angst, cursing.

Word Count: 1.8k

↳ Please, be aware that English isn't my first language, fell free to tell me if there are any mistakes.

You booked the midnight train for a reason, you wanted to contemplate your pain with your head against the train window.

The reason for your suffering had a name, Wanda Maximoff.

You sat down in one of the seats, feeling the hurt in your chest burning hard just for thinking about her. The train wasn't too much crowned, however, it wasn't all empty. There were people talking and people sleeping, you were not sure which was worse.

People looked at you, certainly worried about how miserable you were.

You finally rested your head on the train window, looking at the view from the outside. Unintentionally, you remembered Wanda's hand holding yours as the two of you danced on the dance floor.

Wanda smiled at you, and she looked happy. But she wasn't, at least, not complete. Not happy enough to say yes.

However, nobody could ever have thought that she would say no.

You felt the tears coming out, your mouth trembled as you remembered. Your heart was made of glass and she let it drop it.

You had prepared a speech, but when you got down on your knees, you didn't find the expression of emotion and excitement that you had imagined she would had. Instead, you saw Wanda's body tense and fear in her green eyes.

You were speechless.

She didn't even let you ask, she ran away, leaving you there, on your knees and crestfallen on the dance floor.

You were so broken that you hadn't the strength to reach out to her, Wanda's love escaped beyond your reaches.

You saw the pity look that your family and friends gave to you. You had told them that you were going to propose Wanda that night, you couldn't keep it a secret.

You had bought Dom Pérignon and one of your family members had already popped the bottle in an early celebration, it was humiliating.

"Maybe it's just one of her...What does she call? Oh, yeah," Steve remembered before anyone could answer him. "her champagne problems." Steve was trying to calm you down, but he wasn't succeeding.

Fuck Wanda, you thought, your veins filled with angry. Fuck her and her champagne problems.

But even with all the fury you were feeling, Wanda's picture was still in your wallet along with your mom's ring.

You didn't hate her for leaving, you could never hate her.

You remembered the first time you made Wanda blush, it was in November.

You both met in college, and you thought you were the luckiest person in the world for having Wanda as your roommate. She was organized, friendly and didn't ask too many questions, everything a person could want from a roommate.

"Someone said to me that this door was once a madhouse." You said to her, wanting to make small talk.

"Well, it's made for me." Wanda made a joke, and you chuckled.

"A beautiful and intelligent woman like you in a madhouse? I find it hard to believe."

"Beautiful people do have problems too." Wanda's face was getting flush.

"I know, I know." You said. "I just wanted to praise you because, well, you're definitely one of the most beautiful girls on the campus."

And there it was, Wanda's face all red and her shy smile on her lips. You felt your heart beating faster than usual at that moment.

"So do you?" You continued.

"Do what?"

"Have problems."

"Just champagne problems." She answered.

"Champagne problems?" You asked, with your furrowed eyebrows.

"Yes, nothing meaningful or worth mention," She explained. "when compared to the others issues around the world."

"Well, champagne or not, they're still problems."

She thought about your words for a moment, but didn't say anything. Wanda continued to devalue her own problems, claiming that her issues were insignificant and there were worse things in the world.

Wanda was very reserved in the beginning, it was usually you who started the conversations. It didn't take long for you to fall in love with her.

I mean, how could you not? She was gorgeous and caring. Wanda was kinder than the most people you had ever met. She was a dream girl, with her hair loose and long, her sweet smile and her funny laugh. The way she was always up to help someone in need, and how she tried to empathize with everyone.

Wanda was absolutely flawless.

You only asked her out on a date when you were sure she wouldn't reject you.

Now, seeing from afar, you could see how stupid you were. You should have waited, just kneeling after knowing for sure that she would say yes.

But that's the problem.

You had sure that Wanda would say yes with tears dropping from her eyes. Then, your song would have played, you would have kissed her and held her hand tight while dancing. Your friends would have cheered with joy, and Wanda would have hugged you with a radiant smile on her face.

You let out a breath of pain. You now lived with only wishes. Because she dropped your hand while dancing, instead of holding tight.

Just champagne problems, she would say, about this dramatic situation.

You had a black Chevy that Wanda loved, she enjoyed riding in your car, even if you never go anywhere special. And when the car stopped running and you decided that was time to buy a better one, Wanda didn't let you. Often you saw her on the passenger seat murmuring whatever song was playing on the radio.

Nevertheless, the Chevy wasn't going anywhere. Just like your relationship.

Feeling tired of sitting there in this hurt, you left the train and went to the nearest hotel that you could find, you didn't want to come back home anytime soon.

You lived in a small town, your failed marriage proposal was probably spreading in the mouth of people like a disease.

Your turn on your phone, there were many messages and missed calls from your friends, but no one of them matters to you. Except one.

There was one voicemail from Wanda. Just that. She didn't send you a dozen messages like your friends, just a voicemail.

You set down on the bed, before listening to her voice for the last time.

Hey, Y/N, it's me, Wanda. I think I owed you an apology for leaving you out there standing. I-I can't do this, I'm sorry.

Wanda's voice was trembling, it sounded like she was crying. Why was she crying? She left you, not the other way around.

You didn't know it was possible for your heart to break more, but it did. The sound of her painful voice would haunt you forever.

I really can't give you a reason, I guess I never was ready for commitment. Sometimes you just don't know the answer until someone gets on their knees and asks you, you know?

There was a long pause, so long that you thought the message was over. However, Wanda's voice filled the room again:

You deserve someone better than me, you always had. Someone who is not fucked up in the head like me, someone who will never hurt you like I did. You'll find a real thing out there, she will pick up the pieces of your broken heart and she will patch up your tapestry that I shredded. She will be so perfect that you will not remeber me, or all my champagne problems.

Your vision was blurred because of the tears that fall uncontrollably from your face.

Ours... your friends called, they all are worried about you, please contact them.

There was another long pause.

I lov...

Your heart started to race at the words she was about to say, but Wanda gave up halfway, as if realizing that the words were not true.

Goodbye, Y/N.

And that was it.

Four years of relationship saying goodbye in a voicemail of less than five minutes.

Your throat burned from holding on to crying for so long, you wanted to scream until your vocal cords burst.

You loved her more than anything, and she left as if it were nothing. As if your love meant nothing.

You took the picture of Wanda that was still on your wallet, and tore it into several pieces before throwing it in the trash.

Eventually, the sleep caught you while you were crying in the hotel bed, similar to a friendly hug in the midst of so much pain.

━━━━━━ ᗢ ━━━━━━

You heard that Wanda left town, without looking back, on the same day that she rejected your proposal.

Wanda's sweet perfume was still impregnate, along with your memories with her, in every room of the house that the two of you used to live. You didn't manage to stay there, it didn't take long for you to sell the house and buy an apartment in the city center.

You sold your black Chevy, there was no one around to stop you.

You also sold Wanda's things that she left behind, you didn't want anything to remind you of her. Because after the end of the day, you were still mad at Wanda. For leaving, for didn't give you a good reason, for making your waste four years of your life.

"She would've made such a lovely bride, what a shame she's fucked in the head." That was probably the last thing that someone spoke about Wanda, before another big gossip emerge in your town and they eventually forgot the humiliation that she put you through.

At first, you stayed in your new apartment with your heart broken, just watching futile reality shows and eating junk food. Steve, your best friend, was there all the time giving you emotional support, even though he didn't always know how to say the right thing.

But eventually you had to face reality, after all, you suffering or not, life still went on.

It took two years before you were ready to fall in love again. And two years since you had heard from Wanda, you didn't know about her even on social media, since she had deleted them all.

It was as if Wanda had simply disappeared, little by little, she became a myth in your life, a ghost that haunted you from time to time. Not even your friends and family mentioned her name.

Sometimes you wondered if she really existed, if you haven't invented her in your head.

It was in a bar outside the town, that you met Natasha Romanoff. She was self-confident and carried a death look in her eyes, rigid on the outside, but soft on the inside. She had short red hair and was not very fond of wearing jewellery.

Totally different from Wanda.

Natasha was fun to be around, it was easy to understand her because she was always honest with you.

You started to date her on the very first day of summer. Then, after spending all the four seasons together, you started to carry your mom's ring in your pocket and Natasha's picture in your wallet.

And when you got on your knees, she didn't leave you crestfallen on the dance floor. She said yes, and held your hand tight while dancing.

However, in the end, Wanda was wrong.

You still remeber all her champagne problems.

[clankryze511]

“As for me, well, there's a real panic on. Somebody has threatened to poison the Gotham reservoir. Calls himself the Joker. I've got a friend coming who might be able to help.

He should be here any minute”.

As November draws to a close, I decided to recreate and extend and mix up the ending page of Batman Year One.

I inspired this extended scene from Batman Begins but also from various pieces also mixing the two parts of the Joker’s origin together starting him off as a comedian (The Killing Joke) then into an enforcer for both the Grissom and Valestra mobs (BTAS & Batman 1989) then (shortly before Bruce’s return) killed the leader of the Red Hood Gang and took his identity and then (mixing In pieces from DC #27, Batman 1989, Zero Year, and The Killing Joke was found out by the GCPD (still under Loeb’s control) By Batman, Jim, Major Crimes, and the late Philip Kane (shot point blank by Joker/Jack Napier) finally falling into the vat of chemicals at Ace becoming the Clown Prince of Crime.

⬇️Story Down here⬇️

December 3

OLD GOTHAM

GCPD MAJOR CRIMES BUILDING

Gordon took a smoke from his pipe from his daughter on his birthday looking out at the Gotham skyline as snow fell across the city waiting for his friend wondering where he was. He then heard a tap on the Bat Signal and turned around to see Batman by it.

Batman: Nice

Jim walked around the signal to Batman flipping the switch turning off the signal.

James Gordon: I couldn't find any mob bosses. Hadn't heard a peep from Falcone ever since the attack on the rooftop of his apartment weeks ago.

Batman: Well, lieutenant?

James: Oh, it's captain now. You really started something. Sure affected me.

Affected all of us. Crooked cops running scared. Hope on the streets.

Batman: But?

Jim looks down for a bit.

James: Amusement Mile and the Industrial District is in tatters Ace Chemicals is being rebuilt. And we still haven't picked up Grissom or whatever remains of the Red Hood Gang that escaped Ace along with Bob Hawkins.

Batman: What about Napier?

James: We combed the rest of Ace.

We couldn't find his body. He's either dead by drowning, burned, or washed away somewhere.

Batman: This wasn't the only reason why you called me here. Was it?

Jim opens his jacket pulling out an evidence bag then hands it over to Batman then he grabbed it.

James: Armed robbery, double homicide, some of the victims with smiles on their faces, has a taste for the theatrical like you.

Jim hands Batman the document folder.

James: He's planning an attack on the Gotham Reservoir. He also leaves a calling card.

Batman pulls out of the evidence bag a white card with a clown face on it labeled "Joker".

Batman: I'll look into this.

Batman hands back the document and puts the card back in the bag attaching it to his utility belt.

Batman: Criminals are a cowardly and superstitious lot. The only way to beat them is to give them something to be scared of. We'll fix this Jim.

Batman and Jim shake hands.

Batman: We can bring Gotham back.

Batman walks to the edge of the roof ready to leave.

James: I never said, "thank you".

Saving this city from the Hood, saving me, saving my wife and son.

Batman turns his head to face Jim.

Batman: And you'll never have to.

Batman jumps off the roof then fires his Mark II Grapnel gliding off.

Jim watches smiling.

James: Thank you.

•

•

The Adventure has just begun.

[miracles-totally-come-true]

When I Will Be Gone (1/2)

Trigger Warning: Suicide

Pairing: Logince

Summary: Logan loves Roman with all of his heart. Logan can see that Roman wants to do more with his life. Logan can also see that his own life just isn’t working. Logan thinks he can fix both of their problems.

Roman only wants to spend his life with his boyfriend. He’s perfectly fine with giving up on his dreams if it means waking up every day to see Logan’s face.

Roman wishes he had said that sooner.

Ao3 link: (Tumblr isn’t letting me link it in a neat and simple way, so you get a large oversized link to the fic)

This was meant to be read as a oneshot, but since Tumbr doesn’t like me for some reason, here’s the second part

A quick note:

When anything is written in italics, this means that the text is part of Logan's recording. The recording takes place a few hours earlier than the story's present day.

—————————

By the time you are listening to this, I will be gone. Not dead, most likely, but gone.

January 18th, six years prior to the recording

Sunlight dancing through the trees, the scent of roses in the air. Logan and Roman sat on a checkered picnic blanket, hand in hand.

Roman, I love you more than the world, but I think we both know that I was always bound to fail as your boyfriend.

March 15th, six years prior to the recording

The last scene in the movie had come to a close, just as Logan finally stirred in his sleep, slowly waking up. Roman glanced down at his boyfriend, who was leaning on his shoulder, before pressing a kiss to his forehead.

I that thought I was helping you to achieve your dreams, but I now see that all I was doing was holding you back. I wish I had seen sooner.

November 3rd, six years prior to the recording

Roman quietly opened his boyfriend's bedroom door. He draped a blanket over the shoulders of the figure passed out at the desk and placed the cupcake he had carried in beside the mountain of paperwork.

"Happy birthday, my love," Roman whispered.

Roman, you are the most incredible human being I have ever met.

December 1st, six years prior to the recording

A smile fluttered across Roman's lips as Logan brushed a strand of hair out of his boyfriend's eyes.

The way your eyes light up when you smile fills me with a kind of joy that I did not think I had the ability to possess.

January 18th, five years prior

Roman grinned and leaned into Logan's arms

"Happy anniversary! I love you so, so much,"

The blush that dances across your cheeks when out eyes meet is nothing less than adorable.

January 31st, five years prior

They stared into each other's eyes. Moonlight just barely lit up the room. Roman hoped that it was too dark for Logan to notice how red Roman's face must be.

Watching you spin around the room laughing when your favourite Disney songs come on always ends with my cheeks hurting from smiling.

February 14th, five years prior

Logan's quiet laughter filled the air as his boyfriend pulled him up from the couch.

"C'mon specs," Roman pulled him closer. "Let's dance."

Listening to you talk about the things that you're passionate about always melts my heart. I love you so much.

March 21st, five years prior

"I GOT THE GIG!" Roman had applied for a job preforming stories for children at the local theatre. "Let's have a drink to celebrate!"

Logan looked at him in confused amusement as Roman grabbed a bottle opener. "....babe thats a bottle of soda, not exactly the kind of drink one would use to celebrate with."

And it's because of how much I care, that I must leave. I can see that you're hiding your emotions behind your smiles.

May 30th, five years prior

Roman wiped a tear off his cheek as he put on a fake smile. He stared at the figure in the mirror. Roman loved Logan more than he could even imagine. His boyfriend was the best thing to ever happen to him. It didn't matter that Roman had lost every job he had tried to keep. It would be okay.

You clearly want more than anything to follow your dreams but you don't. Why?

June 12th, five years prior

Roman pressed his lips to his boyfriend's knuckles. "I'd travel to the moon and back if it meant simply seeing your face."

So many hours were spent with me laying on my bedroom floor, trying to figure out why you refused to go out into the world and pursue a better life. Then it hit me. I am the problem.

Present day, Roman's perspective

Roman's jaw dropped and his heart fell as he listened to the recording that he had found in his and Logan's apartment. It had been addressed to him, and he had found it sitting beside a single blood red rose, and a golden locket containing a photo of him and Logan. It hadn't been long before Roman had put two and two together and figured out that there was something else going on here. This sounded bad.

As long as I stay by your side, you'll stay stuck in an unfulfilling life.

July 2nd, five years prior

They lay in a meadow, side by side, fingers entwined.

"I love you Logan,"

"I love you too,"

Please don't be sad.

August 15th, five years prior

Logan wiped away the tear rolling down Roman's cheek.

I would have told you all this in person, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to bare seeing your pain. I knew that I'd back out the second we stood face to face.

Present day, Roman's perspective

Roman picked up the rose. He ignored the thorns that pricked his skin.

"Logan, why, why why why," he could feel more tears forming.

I love you so much, Roman. I never would have gotten this far in life without you, but as they always say mall good stories must come to an end.

December 26th, five years prior

Roman closed the storybook, a smile on his face. He plucked the glasses off his sleeping boyfriend's face and set them on the nightstand.

I've hit the metaphorical dead end.

January 30th, four years prior

Roman glanced at Logan, who was sitting in the passenger seat,

"I-I think we're lost,"

"Now you admit it?" Logan raised an eyebrow. "Here, let me drive for a bit."

My family disowned me for my sexuality.

February 13th, four years prior

Roman's heart dropped as he saw the mess of tears streaming down the typically calm man's face. "You told them?"

"...I did."

I was fired from my job at the lab, simply because I argued that the animals being used as test subjects were not being treated fairly.

January 1st, four weeks prior

"They're fools for firing someone as intelligent as you,"

"No, they're right to do this. I tried to think with my heart instead of my head for once, and made the mistake of bringing emotions into a workplace,"

"Well either way, they just lost their best scientist,"

All of my friends left eventually because of how many walls I put up.

December 2nd, two months prior

"Did Virgil call?" Roman frowned when he saw the sad look on Logan's face.

"Yes, yes he did. I'd rather not talk about it though. How about we make dinner?"

My own cautiousness and inability to be overly emotional have been my own undoing. You are the last good thing left in my life.

March 14th, four years prior

"Logan, you are absolutely not just an emotionless robot! You're the sweetest guy I know. Don't you dare let any assholes tell you otherwise!"

I may not believe in soulmates, but I truly think that we are as close as it gets.

June 8th, four years prior

"Aw, you don't think that we're soulmates?" Roman said with a pout in his face. "Why not?"

"I simply said that I don't believe in such things," Logan pressed a quick kiss to Roman's forehead. "Now get sleep, we both have work to do tomorrow."

My story has come to an end, but yours is just beginning.

August 17th, four years prior

Roman gazed lovingly at the stacks of books lining the shelves that surrounded the place where Roman and Logan sat.

I know that I don't have the emotional capacity to be able to make an accurate estimation as to how long it will take for you to be able to get over this, but for both of our sakes, I do hope it will be quick.

October 6th, four years prior

Roman sighed. His boyfriend had obviously stayed up all night working again. When he peeked at the pile of notes on Logan's desk, his face lit up. From the looks of it, Logan had started teaching a course at a local college, which had always been something he had wanted to do.

I can tell that you're hiding sadness underneath all the smiles, you don't hide it very well.

December 31st, four years prior

Smiles. Grins. Laughter. Joy. Roman's entire life was based around joy. He couldn't just go tell Logan that he was sad about losing another job, that would ruin his whole facade. No, he would have to just get another job as quickly as possible.

I haven't seen enough of your genuine smiles lately.

January 14th, three years prior

Roman was so happy for the first time in what felt like ages. Logan had finally agreed to get a pet! Granted, it was a goldfish, because Logan claimed that neither of them had the time to take care of a puppy, but a pet nonetheless!

He named it Roman Jr.

You clearly want to do something more with your life, but you don't.

February 14th, three years prior

"Vegas would be a nice place to live one day, or LA. Ooh maybe London,"

"What, life isn't enough for you?"

"Never,"

And since I've heard you joke about me being the tether keeping you from being a star, it wasn't hard to realize that the only logical explanation is that I'm the one keeping you stuck in this small town where it is impossible for you to follow your dreams.

Present day, Roman's perspective

"I never meant it. They were nothing more than jokes. I would do anything to keep the small life we share," yet more tears rolled down Roman's face as he spoke to the empty room.

I say that you are the only thing left in this world for me, but if you can't be happy with the life we have, then I have truly failed.

April 7th, three years prior

They lay on a Roman's bed, a Disney movie playing on his laptop, long forgotten. Roman snuggled closer, savouring the moment.

The only way I can think of to fix this, is to completely disappear.

July 25th, three years prior

They sat under a cherry blossom tree, watching the petals fall around them.

"This is magical," Roman's voice was barely a whisper.

"There's noting out of the ordinary about the situation, except for the fact that the petals are dropping later in the year than they usually would," Roman merely grinned.

You're the only one who could possibly miss me, so I have three requests for you.

Next part

[rixxy8173571m3w1p3]

September Song (2/3)

I’m sorry @kitten-wrath that this took so long, but I do hope you like it. @hoodoo12 @xerxezra thanks for brainstorming with me. Also, Ice Cream Rick belongs @porkchop-ao3. References to the flowers can be found here (The Language Of Flowers) and pizza rolls here (Sick Day)

Also, special thanks go to @her-victori for reading a majority of my fics in a short span of time. You Rock! As well to random anons who leave me sweet words in my ask box.

If you haven't read the first part of this fic then here's the link. (Read Part1 Here)

In this fic the reader tries to be more reserved and mature for Rick, but what will he think?

______

Chapter 2: These Precious Days

The mom and pop ice cream parlor which could be found at the edge of town offered over twenty flavors and twice as many topping options. Rick thought you'd prefer this quiet atmosphere over the crowd that would've surrounded Ice Cream Ricks truck in the Citadel; he was right. Though it really was a shame since Ice Cream Rick was actually pretty nice. After ordering, you two sat by the window with the best view of a lonely backroad and a white GMC truck.

“I-I-I like that you went for the rainbow jimmies.” Rick commented as he popped a mini gummy bear into his mouth.

“Hmm? Yeah, I like the texture.”

Which was true, but it wasn't the whole truth. You loved sprinkles on just about any dessert they could be placed on. They were fun, colorful, and your dad's favorite topping. They reminded you of good times. You continued. “And they're a classic. Wouldn't you agree?”

“I-I do. Would you say that y-your favorite flavor?”

Savoring the flavor of your chocolate ice cream, you nodded. “Yeah.”

Smiling softly, he seemed to be ruminating on this information, before storing it away and eating a spoonful of his pistachio ice cream. After a little while, he managed to get a bit of it on the side of his mouth, which made you giggle. And because old habits die hard, you picked up a napkin and wiped his face clean. Under your fingertips, his skin had that masculine roughness that came from constant shaving. Of course, you were familiar with it, but these slight reminders that came about by chance never failed to amaze you.

However, you were quick to pull your hand back because he wasn't a fan of public displays of affection, though it seemed to have the opposite effect, with him reaching out and placing your hand back on his cheek, and leaning into it. “I'm glad y-you were able to come with me today.”

Seeing as the shop owner was in the back room, you relaxed a little. “I am too.”

Rick was always a little funny when he got sentimental, which was why it didn't surprise you too much when his eyes bore through you as he said. “Me encanta estar c-contigo.”

“Rick,” you began, wanting to let this facade go and declare every single word of affection your heart felt inclined to say, but just as soon as you thought you were going to crack, you restrained yourself, and simply said. “your ice cream is going to melt.”

Several beats of silence passed, and he acknowledged what you had said, but he went on. “You - I-I sometimes wish I could carry you in my pocket, and have you look after me all the time, but th-that's silly isn't it? It's not realistic, and that w-would be selfish.”

“If it's you, then I don't think it is. While it wouldn't necessarily be practical to miniaturize me and carry me around, isn't the beauty of a relationship knowing that you're always on someone's mind and that they are out there somewhere caring and thinking about you?”

“Certainly, but what I-I meant to say is that it'd be nice if this was our life. If I could keep y-you and if you and me ugh - all th-the time…we - if we….” he faltered, fixing his eyes on something else in the room.

“You don't mean eating ice cream do you?”

With a sigh, he relinquished the hold he had on your hand, “N-no.” and continued to eat his ice cream; resigned, and slightly embarrassed. You couldn't help but feel a slight disappointment. It's not like he wanted to say the magic words. Right?

________

After ice cream, you two visited the bookstore on the corner of Kinder St and Lavue Ave; which had not only a coffee shop but a toy store connected to it. As soon as one entered into it, you were met with the latest best sellers, books on travel and wellness, as well as souvenirs; it was one of few places that didn't bother you if it was cramped. To your left next to the window were those mint boxes which said Adventure Awaits, and it filled you with gladness as picked one up; thinking of little things you'd put in it after all the mints were gone. For his part, Zeta-7 seemed to know exactly what he was going for, disappearing in the back where all the used books were. Not knowing whether to follow or look around, you just did as you pleased.

Past the Keychain holder, above the box of mini hands, you found a Mister Rogers mug. You loved that wholesome old man who used to teach lessons and play with puppets on PBS; Rick reminded you of him too. On the label, it said that when you added hot water to the mug, Mister Rogers would change from a suit jacket into his cardigan. Seeing as Zeta-7 hadn't returned yet, you decided to buy it and continued to look around until he soon returned with an older book in hand. “I-I-I hope I hadn't kept you waiting long.”

Facing the bookshelf, pulling out books that you were mildly interested in, you answered. “I knew you would show up eventually.”

Noticing the stack of books you had, he asked sweetly. “M-m-mi corazón, do you want me t-to hold those books for you? They look a-a little heavy.”

You weren't sure how long you could keep up this facade of being mature and not melting into a puddle everytime he said things like that, with him being as darling as he was. Nonetheless, you nodded and he lightened the burden on your arms.

“Wow,” he brightened. “I-I didn't know you liked Alexandre Dumas.” And picking out another book, he wondered. “Have y-you ever read this?”

“The Man In the Iron Mask? No,” you admitted sadly. “but when I was in high school I did read about a third of The Count of Monte Cristo. I even have a postcard that my old English teacher sent me from Europe that had a picture of one of the buildings that was used in the movie.”

“That's s-s-so cool. Do - do you enjoy classic literature?”

Wholeheartedly, you replied. “Isn't it the best kind?”

“I-I-I don't know,” he softened. “but I don't know what I'd do without them.”

You thought of his home library then, with its eclectic mixture of languages, colors, and topics, and it made you feel warm in your soul. “If your home library tells me anything, it's that you have a healthy appetite for books.”

He glanced at your lips after you said this, but made no attempt to follow whatever thought which might've come to mind. Instead, you two carried on a lengthy discussion on books, how many were a social commentary of the time period, and how they influenced the world you lived in. For once you didn't have to pretend you knew something you didn't, cause you did know. Quite intimately in fact. And within the small spaces between shelves and bodies, where you'd normally feel claustrophobic, you were safe amongst all the friends you had yet to meet amongst the pages, and with Zeta-7 whose warm words and tall body shielded you from the curious eyes of the cashier.

_______________

A stack of books sat quietly in the back seat of his car. Crickets chirped, and there were random feral cats here and there, but there was only you and him as far as you were concerned. September Song by Willie Nelson played on the car radio as he led you into a natural waltz next to the town lake, and moonlight reflected in his eyes. If you hadn't been so afraid of drowning, maybe you would've preferred to dance on the dock, but like this, it felt right.

Oh, it's a long long while

From May to December

But the days grow short

When you reach September

When the autumn weather

Turns leaves to flame

One hasn't got time

For the waiting game

With your head resting on his chest, he hummed along to the melody. More than once you heard a sniffle but assumed it was just Zeta-7 caught up in the moment again.

Oh the days dwindle down

To a precious few. ..

September, November. ..

And these few precious days

I'll spend with you.

These precious days

I'll spend with you.

You thought every day spent with him was precious, and you had to admit that you weren't sure at the beginning of your relationship if it would've worked out, but you were glad that the both of you took a chance, and had been pleasantly surprised ever since. And after all this time, now that it was the fall again, you wondered what the next year and the year after that would be like; the possibilities are endless. However, your train of thought was broken when Zeta-7 stopped dancing and stood there; covering his face, wanting to disappear.

“Rick?”

“I'm - I'm sorry, but I-I-I-I can't do this.”

“Can't do what?”

“I-I-I can't pretend that everything's o-okay. Something's th-the matter isn't it?”

“No there isn't.” you denied.

“Then why are y-y-you so quiet? Are w-we breaking up? Are you - are you leaving me?”

You literally wanted to smack yourself for being such an idiot. “No! Why would you think that?”

Using his phone, he paused the music and passed a hand through his hair in an attempt to calm himself. “Y-y-you haven't been yourself all evening. I thought for a moment that maybe th-things were alright back in the bookstore, but you - I know y-you were holding back. I know how much you love books, and writing is y-y-y-your passion, but you were hesitant in sharing your opinions on either subject. M-mi corazón,” he pleaded, the lines about his forehead and mouth deepening. “please b-be honest with me. Is this it?”

“No, it's not.”

Your plan, which you thought has been working went horribly wrong. So much for trying to act like an adult for once. Man, you only wanted to entice him, which you somewhat succeeded, but because of your stupid games, you'd led him to believe that you were unsatisfied with your relationship. If anything, you were unsatisfied with how you handled this. “Believe me Ricky, you haven't done anything wrong. In fact,” you sighed, your chest aching from the bloom of anxiety. “you've only been sweet and charming. But I….oh, I was only trying to impress you.”

“Huh? Wh-what?”

“Exactly. Whatever I thought I'd accomplish, it…..I only managed to mess it up. Again. You probably wouldn't get it,” Or maybe he would, but you weren't feeling like yourself. “but sometimes I feel like all you did was pull me out of my little bubble so I could wreak havoc. I'm not any different from hundreds of other versions of me, am I? Cause, if I'm like them, then how did I end up with you? How did I get so lucky to be with someone so wonderful? I hope they are happy because I am with you.”

With a hand pressed over his heart, a single tear made its way down his cheek. “M-me too. I'm so happy with you.”

“Somehow, despite all my inadequacies, you want me. I mean, is it stupid to believe that I just wanted to be different from all those other copies? That I just wanted you to think I was mature?”

Zeta-7 looked at you with a wistful hope in his eyes.“No, it's - it's not stupid. You - you did that f-for me?”

“Who else dear honey man of mine? Maybe it can't be helped and I'll just be what I am,” you confessed. “but for a moment I wanted to be different. So I gave myself the look and didn't overreact. And most of all, kept my mouth shut so you wouldn't get bored of my rambling. I know I talk too much.”

“N-no, that's not - have I led you t-to believe you weren't good enough?”

“Not on purpose, but I can't help but feel that way sometimes. We both know I'm not that special. I mean, the only impressive thing I've ever done is eat 37 pizza rolls, and not kill the flowers you gave me. I'm so sorry,” you cried, “I'm sorry you got stuck with an idiot.”

He pulled you in for a tight embrace, smoothing out your hair. “D-don't ever say that.” he cooed. “You're - you're clever, lovely, and always give me something t-t-to smile about.”

“Anyone can do that.”

Pulling back a little, he gave your shoulder a squeeze and softened. “N-no, not at all. Y-you give away dreams, smiles, and kindness. You're reliable, and I-I can trust you. And there is no one in the universe th-that could compare t-to you when it comes to being the perfect woman. If anything, I'm th-the defect here.”

“No, you're perfect Ricky.”

Placing a lock of hair behind your ear, he continued. “I'm glad y-you think so, but this isn't a-about me. You - you dressed up today, in a-a elegant dress that I'd n-never seen before,” and pressing a kiss behind your ear, he whispered with a little gleam of pride in his eyes.. “wearing the perfume I-I-I made you. Smelling like a-a dream.”

Again, how anyone considered this charmer a doofus you'd never know. “I had been saving it for a special occasion.”

“Everyday with you is - is special.”

“Oh Rick. That's…thank you.”

Pointing at your feet, “And I noticed that you're closer t-t-to my height today, but your feet must be hurting by now. Would y-you like to take them off?”

Oh, your feet were screaming. And now that you weren't pretending, you slipped out of your shoes which made you lose about four inches. Picking up your shoes and shoes and dusting them off, he continued. “That must feel better. I-I-I had to wear heels for a case once. It ugh - it's not practical when y-y-you have to run.”

“Right? I don't see how other women do it, cause I can't. I'm not even sure why I own them. I should just burn those things.”

You'd say it was half relief, half joy that made him laugh wholeheartedly at this, and you didn't see how it could be so funny. You poked him and pouted, and he delighted in this. “See?” he chuckled, looking at you in that funny way he did from time to time.

“See what?”

“This. This is th-the girl I fell in love with,” he stated matter of factly. “the one who likes t-to be comfortable, speaks her mind and prefers those jeans with th-the rip on the side. Not to mention those graphic t-shirts. Or cute pj's.”

Your breath caught a little at this confession. How could the smartest man in the universe adore an impertinent person like you? Maybe the same way you could love the smartest man; you just do. In your girlish voice, you said. “I only wanted you to be proud of me.”

Holding you a fraction tighter, he pressed a light kiss to your temple and chuckled sweetly. “Y-you already do princess. Today y-you made an effort for me, and that's impressive, but honestly, I want you t-t-to be comfortable and dress up how y-you like. You as yourself is what impresses me, because you have s-s-so much spirit, and I - that's what makes y-you gorgeous.”

This time you didn't even try to hide your blush.

“Oh Rick, hearing you say that really does make me feel silly. Why did I do this to myself? What was I thinking?”

“I believe y-you're still trying to figure it all out like the rest of us, and I can't get mad at you for th-that because you're wonderfully human. You had good intentions, and th-that's what counts.”

“Can you forgive me?”

“I al-already have.”

TBC

[joonheaven]

November '22 Playlist

tried starting this before getting on the phone w this man for the first time and i was so distracted but now its the next day and just got off the phone w him so here it is finally lmao

she never miss. EVER. she's so real

got super into le sserafim after a coworker mentioned that their debut album goes hard and so i gave it a listen and he was not wrong. i think they're slowly becoming my favorite gg :o this song is so catchy

my job plays this sometimes and i'm so close to falling onto my knees in front of the customers

"please don't bark cus milli bite back" BARSSSSSSSS

haven't heard from her since snowcone but i love that she's kept the same vibe

that unts unts unts music got me feeling like im at a european club/rave. i love to play this with my sisters around cus they think im fucking insane for listening to music with no lyrics

im pretty sure this man is gonna b somewhere on my spotify wrapped this year

accidentally found this and became obsessed. mingyu in this song????? SHEEEESSSHHHH

i remembered a high school classmate who's ult group was f(x) and decided to give them a listen since i like 4 walls and this song instantly became a favorite. also the beginning gives nct

i fr never saw myself listening to Louis again after i started to drift from the fandom in 2018/2019 but this right here? yes. love it. very much louis, it's so nostalgic to still be able to hear his accent thru his singing lol

~~~~

november was fun, i didn't really focus on filling up my playlist and wasn't actively searching for new shit so a lot of it came naturally which is cool as fuck