#but also i hated that grandparent so in actuality i didnt care. but he didnt know that so still. kinda fucked up dude

[digirainebow]

when i didnt know how to tell the very first guy i ever went on a date with at like 13 that i did not like him because he was too tall and didnt like high school musical or my little pony, so i just started acting really weird and sending him blingees on skype until he asked to just be friends. and i said oh thank god and never talked to him again. i feel like that should have been the first sign of Something but instead i was like ah yes well done well handled i am winning an award in normal behavior 😌❤

[lookingforhappy]

Same anon as before (name anon I guess, lol) Lila calls out for Coco in the first scene we have her in (around 10:35) and now that I watch it again (I wanted to see if there's more kids than the twins in that car) Coco might actually be the son. Lila goes "You need to share with your brother. Coco, stop crying!" The little girl in the scene isnt really crying, meanwhile the boy is reaching out and looks more upset. I did not mean to follow up on the last ask but, here you go! Interesting thing I just noticed that I wouldn't have posted about myself cause fandom scares me!

Also no, I totally agree with you on the names. It felt like the writers really didnt care about any of them. I was pointing out that we have the mothers names as a thing of "they named all the mothers yet here we have unnamed son."

oh sorry! yea thats where im standing rn lol like you go to the effort of naming 6/7 mothers who appear for maybe 3 seconds each but not the main character's children??

i went back and found the scene

and yeah it does seem that coco is the boy's name as there's not anyone else in the car

(nobody in the front, only the twins in the middle behind the balloons, and the pinata in the back seat, i guess grace arrived with her grandparents or maybe Diego??)

but he's also not ... at all upset

he's just reaching?? i guess they couldnt or didnt want to make the kid cry..

but like.. i hate that actually. If you're gonna go to the effort of giving one kid a tribute name (grace stanley), which is notoriously not liked by fandom (im thinking the disaster that was the epilogue of HP) then at least go the full mile and give the other kids tribute names as well?

like ik Lila's family is alive now but we never acknowledged that she wasn't raised by them beyond age 4, and that she witnessed their deaths and loved them and carried their memory into her adulthood and was devastated to learn that they had been targetted not just randomly killed

like.. for them to be randomly alive now doesnt make their relationship automatically good, they're strangers now whether they like it or not.

so i don't see why Anita and Ronnie couldn't have had kids named after them. lots of people do that for their very much alive parents as well?

or even just name the boy twin Ben?? umbrella Ben is 100% dead. double dead even. maybe even triple dead.

and isn't Coco from the spanish name Socorro? which is female??

just. i feel like this was underthought and bad.

[kiss2012]

finale thoughts

im done making excuses for this kim and marisol plotline it’s so dumb. they did the marisol break-up off-screen so idk why she had to be here this season at all.

devin kelly deserved better than this…she did the best with what she could but this never should’ve happened at all i can think of a thousand different ways to have done this. we didn’t even get any more shannon flashbacks. we could have seen how they met or gotten flashbacks of her life separate from eddie…

buck and eddie scene is so crazy. and i can’t believe buck didn’t even get the chance to go in and talk to chris THAT MAKES ME SO SICK also thinking about how he chose to call his grandparents instead of buck this time. and it’s like. i think it’s partly because he knew they’d take his side over eddie’s, and he thought buck would take eddie’s side

at least eddie looks beautiful.

what goes on through his brain tho 😭 the happy selfie with kim???? while he was mentally going through it?????

I LOVE HEN AND IM SAD ABOUT MARA

fuck off i hate this athena plotline. u know what if it had been amir he’d be justified. like angela bassett is slaying but yikes.

ohhhh but athena bringing back her past and how she’s connected to amir is good

MADDIE HAN 🩷 i did think they would both hyphenate maddie and chimney buckley-han but since we have jee buckley-han i love this <3

the cartel thing is dumb i can’t believe they got rid of the grant-nash family home (hugely important thing for bobby and athena) and the culprit is the cartel 🙄

girl bobby’s awake already??? he was barely in a coma i expected more from this???

i don’t care about tommy’s daddy issues or lack thereof.

fear im becoming a tommy hater actually. i liked him in 7x03, was fine with him in 7x04-7x05, was not a big fan in 7x06, was even less of a fan in 7x09, but now im actively annoyed…

the daddy kink scene???? 😭 made me cringe tbh. respect to those of you who feel like you’re winning but in my book this is out-of-place and out-of-pocket for the moment buck was trying to share something. genuine and heartfelt. and tommy. was there. and said that. ok. they also had no chemistry in that scene. sorry.

omg im SO MAD about this eddie plotline

MAY 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 thank god you’re here. and im so glad harry’s here too. this was a good scene.

buck christopher scene this is not a drill….

don’t think i would call helena and ramon “awesome grandparents” but ok buck.

EDDIE 😭😭😭😭😭😭

i want to bang my head into the wall why couldn’t they have just said “for the summer” he’s staying with his grandparents “for the summer” WHY DID THEY DO THIS

he could have stayed with pepa??

why did they bring back abuela for the wedding and not for this??

not a single carla mention huh

trying to convince myself that chris going to texas is the 911 version of rory staying with her grandparents in gilmore girls season 6 and like that storyline it will be terrible to watch but in a compelling way because eventually they reunite and everything’s great

but this isn’t helping to console me cause the two situations are different and the 911 one DIDNT NEED TO HAPPEN AND IM MAD

madney taking mara in is the sweetest

i love amir

ok but can bobby please say he also admires amir and that amir should get to build a life also????

ravi <33333333

why did they bring back gerard that’s the dumbest shit i’ve ever heard it makes no logical sense that man should be dead or retired by now

well. i wouldn’t really hate this episode if not for the eddie stuff as that makes me blind with rage (and if they had just said FOR THE SUMMER it would’ve been a tiny bit better). the bathena stuff had its highs and lows mostly lows. don’t appreciate how amir was treated for this storyline. madney slayed. mara didn’t deserve this and neither did henren or denny. buck’s stuff was…ok i guess….his scenes with christopher and eddie and the 118 were great his scene with tommy was bad he for some reason did not get one single moment in bobby’s room??? no one did??? we got one shot of eddie reading from the prayer book and not even the scene??

bad finale. terrible finale. it’s going to the very bottom of my ranking even below s1 and s6.

hm i need to take a moment to reflect. do i regret this month and a half long obsession with 911 now. i dont. but i do wish half of my month hadn’t been devoted to me being unable to stop thinking about the next ep and the next ep

like if i had known this was the endgame i don’t think i would have obsessively watched as much as i did. maybe i would’ve been able to focus on other things for more than an hour at a time

however before i was like Oh My God How Will I Survive The Hiatus and now at least im like yeah im done now peace out going to watch all the vids and fics i have saved and then i will have moved on

im also funnily enough still halfway through a rewatch LOL. which i think i will complete because i am just watching fave eps/skipping what idc about. so. now to go back to season 3. and to an actually good eddie plotline (eddie begins)

[justcallmedust]

Maybe one day someone will read this that isnt a bot.

I am experiencing numbness in my face, on the right side, from my eye and behind it all the way down my cheek to the right nostril, corner of my mouth down to the jaw. This has been happening for a few months now. The toes on my right foot are also experiencing random numbness, only the smaller 3 tho.

I know these things could be associated with the Epstein Barr, Hypothyroidism or even the Lupus. I can't see a doctor about it so I wont every know for sure but its concerning because my father has diabetes and he experiences foot numbness also.

Yesterday the invitation for my youngest brother in law's wedding came and along with it was an invite to a bridal shower. When I saw it I felt my throat begin to close, I had to stop what I was doing and sit down because vertigo was right behind me. Once i regained control of myself, my first instinct was to tear them both up. I mean, theres no way I could possibly go to either of these things. The cost alone for nice clothing for 6 people would exceed a mortgage payment.. like how could we even? But its so much more than that.

I absolutely hate weddings, I think it is the most ridiculous and uneccesary thing people waste time and money on. I never would have gotten married myself if it werent for all the shit we went through with the custody battle between ourselves and my step-sons grandparents. NONE of which was even worth it, we should have just walked away - everything would be different now. But thats moot. Had that whole shit show not happened I would not be married right now, because it was, and is an outdated and useless tradition.

But its more than that too; I had no bridal shower, didnt receive any gifts.. I didnt even invite anyone to our wedding and it stands firm as one of the worst days of my life - and not just because I got married - it was an actual shit show of a day. We got married in the apartment we lived in at the time on one of the hottest days of that year, it was over 100 degrees and the cake my mother in law brought with her melted before we even said I do. I didnt even want a wedding, I wanted to sign the paper and just call it a day because it meant nothing to me. My mother in law happened to be ordained to perform marriages and instead of just signing that stupid paper she had to bring a wedding to my house. Only one of my friends came because I needed a witness to also sign the paper so I only invited her - we don't even talk anymore, she ghosted me about 10 years ago. Thanks for that btw KS. Right after we said I do, the snotty teenager shouted "what the heck was that" and I will never forget the sound of his winey little shit voice. Some of the local riff raff came over and it eventualy turned into a not nice party. The husband was shitfaced and eventually became abusive once everyone left and then passed out on the living room floor angry with me - as usual. No one that was there is part of our lives anymore, aside from his mother and my parents.. and our kids of course.

I have gone through phases where I wished I could have had a nice wedding with someone I loved surrounded by loved ones, but now I know I've run out of time for that. In the years that passed I attended the wedding of a friend I still am in contact with.. tho I never contact her because she's a lot and I burnt out on our friendship years ago. But I care about her and I just leave it where it is.. but the wedding was highly triggery and I knew then that I could not put myself through that again. Maybe if one of my kids gets married.. I dunno. All I do know is, I cannot handle the mental olypics I need to do to be ok at an even like this. So many things and emotions running through my head, I simply don't belong there. Also, at some point I will no longer be family to them and they wont even want the memory or pictures of me there ruining their happy day. I cant even smile with this mouth full of broken teeth..

I don't care if they hate me or if everyone thinks I'm wrong for not going. I can't do it.

[glitterandgoldrush]

Do you have any thoughts on what Kris’ childhood was like? Like his friends, what sports he played, coming out, moving to America, other boyfriends 👀, figuring out what he wanted to do with his life

i have thoughts, many many thoughts

he grew up in a little town just outside of munich

his parents worked in the city for an art gallery and he often stayed with his grandparents when they were out of town

he played soccer as a kid, but stopped when he was about 12 because he just wasn’t really that into it. he was alright though, and pretty fast

he also ice skated, not as a sport or anything, but he and his friends loved to race around the rink and see who could win races—he always did

he had a pretty big group of friends. everyone sort of loves kris, because he’s so likeable, and he was one of those people that floated between friendship groups. he had a core best friend group that he’d known since he was like 5, and those two were devastated when he moved away.

he was always really smart. like top of the class, working years ahead in content, A* kind of smart. he originally considered being an artist, because it was what both his parents did and he didn’t know anything else, but he’d always wanted to be a doctor. his mum tells stories of when he was a toddler and he would give his teddy bears check ups and tuck them into bed. she says that kris’s desire to care for other people is his main personality trait & it was inevitable that he would go into medicine

but it’s not until he’s about 13 that he actually figures out that that this is what he wants to do. from then on, he’s in planning stage—what high school, what university, what med school? all things that then have to change when they move.

he came out when he was fourteen. he was so nervous to tell his parents, and he googled instructions on how to do it, sat them down in the living room, and basically made a formal speech. his mum was like “kris, baby. we already knew. we love you” and he just broke down in tears because he was so scared and he just so desperately didn’t want anything to change

his grandparents were very much not okay with it, though and his parents tried to shield him from that by his mum finding a job closer to home so he didn’t have to stay with them anymore. they never told kris that his grandparents disapproved, but they didn’t have to. kris was smart enough to figure it out. 

they started filing the paperwork for american visas after his parents both got job offers in california. kris adamantly did not want to go, and when he was 15 and their visas were approved, he begged to stay back with his aunt and uncle

his parents told him that if he tried it for one year, and still hated it, they would consider sending him back but kris knew there was no way he was actually going home until he turned 18

when he left, his friends met him at the airport and he cried & promised that he would 100% be moving back after high school

he found the first year in america really hard. his english wasn’t great, and he was exhausted from having to translate all the time. his grades started to slip and he was devastated, bc he puts so much value into his academic achievements

but it inspires him to work harder & immerse himself more completely in the language. by the time a full year goes by, he reluctantly admits that he wants to stay until he finishes high school

he gets his first boyfriend at 16. his name is Mac and he suuuucks. kris thinks of it now as the requisite shit first relationship, though at the time he was so upset it didnt work out. mac just basically ignores kris until he wants something, and one night rocks up to his house, drunk, and wants to have sex even though kris’s parents are in the living room. he dumps him on the spot.

his next boyfriend is when he’s 17. they’re close friends and try dating, but it just doesn’t really work out for them. they date for a few months before they realise they’re better off as friends and actually stay friends after they break up.

he has a few hookups in his senior year, but nothing too serious. he applies for UCSD and gets in, but back home all his friends are taking gap years. he has it in his mind that he’ll do one year of UCSD and then move back home.

then we all know what happens: his plans are once again ruined when he falls in love with cooper, and doesn’t want to leave. he travels back to germany the winter of cooper’s senior year, and tells his friends about his boyfriend. his best friend looks him dead in the eyes and goes “you’re not coming home, are you?” and he just pauses for a really long time and then says “no. i’m not coming home.”

they’re all extremely happy for him, of course, but it’s also bittersweet. they inform him that he simply must bring cooper on his next trip so they can meet the guy who “stole our best friend away”

[glassesandkim]

ok so anon sent me a rant that i asked for and I want to answer it but under a cut so we don’t have to spam the dash. 

Click under the read more if you want to read me and anon’s rant on grey’s anatomy s17 finale

anon said: “Magston... what the hell lmao. They literally had a whole plot in 1716 about postponing their wedding so they could do it right (with family) and then winston was getting all mad about it and thought maggie was backing out (even though its a pandemic and theyve only been engaged for like what? 3 months tops). Then they flew their older parent/grandparent out (in the middle of a pandemic and severely affects old people), only to have them object to the wedding at the ceremony and then they postpone anyways???? What???? They couldnt have done that over the phone lmao like I liked the idea of magston a lot in s16 but their arc this season made me hate them so much lol. Sometimes I think theyre less developed than schmico (like which writer decided to marry them this season ????? Fireable offence imo considering they have no previous relationship history Im pretty sure and Im pretty sure they were only dating/engaged for like a year???? Even if the show was ending a moving in together/dating/engagment endgame would have worked for them? Anyways).”

First of all: what the fuck is grey’s obsession with marriage?????

It might just be me, but take it from someone who worked in the wedding industry for 3 years, and lemme tell you: weddings are fun, beautiful, amazing, but they’re also hella for the privileged. YOU KNOW IT CAN COST UP TO $700 CAD TO HIRE AN OFFICIANT??? So the job Richard had? He could’ve made an easy few hundies. 

I really hate how fucking fake and badly acted that scene was when Maggie’s dad and Winston’s grandma objected to the marriage. Why did they wait until then and EMBARRASS both of them???? Like you said, what the hell was the point of last episode’s whole debacle???? They could’ve just not done that plot in ep 16 and had them get married anyway in ep 17 and had someone object to their marriage. 

Can’t believe Maggie flew two old people around the country during a goddamn pandemic. How irresponsible is it???? Again, I don’t know if it’s because they’re just way more relaxed in the states than where I’m from but wth....

anon said: Okay and then amelink. I LOVED how amelia was written this episode, but in the context of the time jump it was kind of weird? Like amelia was feeling this way about marriage/more kids for 8-9 months and never even hinted to link that she wasnt interested? And I like to think link respects amelia a lot, so why didnt he bring up marriage again before proposing? Or ask mer/maggie what they thought about him proposing? I can understand her not talking to link about her concerns but I find it hard to believe she didnt bring it up with mer/maggie once in that time frame? Idk it was just rushed and weird. And amelia clearly wasnt okay with the fostering thing and he still went with it anyways lol.

I can’t remember and I don’t care enough to go watch the ep, but did Amelia and Link move out of Mer’s house? 

The only good thing about this episode was Amelia, especially her conversation with Richard (in that not very Seattle courtyard rofl HONESTLY GREY’S PUT SOME EFFORT IN YOUR SETS. YOU KNOW YOUR ENTIRE SHOW IS SET IN SEATTLE RIGHT/???? LIKE MAKE IT RAIN IN THAT COURTYARD TO REFLECT HOW AMELIA FEELS IDK GAWD)

I also can’t believe Amelia would just be like, welp! I guess I’m a double mom now of my own child and this random crotch child that my baby daddy promised to his best friend. And oh ya, I don’t want anymore children but shhh its a secert.

I mean, I know Amelia technically fostered before but ............. (i’ll continue this in the next segment)

anon said: And the fostering thing... Jo’s plot was weird this ep too lmao. Like maybe Im just dumb but they never explained why she failed her background check? Idk this plot would have been a much better season long arc than a one episode arc lol. Although I think the single parent thing might be fun next season (the weird jo/levi friendship will be worth it if we get schmico babysitting)

They didn’t really explain why she failed her bg check. I also don’t know how money can fix her failed background check.

Also how fucking shady is it that Link and Amelia fostered a child? Wouldn’t the foster people want to give a child to a stable family who, let’s think, ARE MARRIED and HAVE A HOME OF THEIR OWN?

Who’s the dumbass in the writer’s room that thought of this ludicrous convenient solution for Jo? Only people with that much money and power can steal children. 

I really thought Jo’s fight for Luna should’ve started earlier and when it didn’t start, I thought it would bleed into next season. It’s not easy to adopt a child. 

anon said: Also is our last jackson appearance on this show really a random facetime with jo? Would have much rather had a face maggie to congratulate her on her marriage (why wasnt he there???) 

Maggie’s kind of his step sister or whatever the f they are. Jackson could’ve taken a break from solving racism to attend his family member’s wedding, right?

anon said: Okay and then the interns... we never actually saw mer teaching them? Im hoping that theres a bigger intern/resident focus next season because of mers new job but now Im not optimistic haha. And why are the residents and interns grouped together? And why was levi so involved with mer’s patient that he wasnt pulled from the wedding to help???????? Its a double lung transplant get the upper year resident in there PLEASE!!! Or at least let him take over the surgery when mer passed out. Cristina would have been doing this shit in her intern year. I assure you he would much rather be at the surgery than the wedding of someone he has never interacted with. And Surely that surgery would have been better if more than 2 surgeons were working on it?????? my ONLY hope is that the time jump means we’re getting helm and levi aged up to 5th years and we get some chief resident/specialization/boards plots for them next year.

i hate grey’s and their ridiculous time jumps and blatant disregard to HOW THIS WILL AFFECT THE CAREERS OF THEIR RESIDENTS. 

I bet, like Teddy’s child, Levi and Helm are gonna be residents for 10 years and never choose a speciality. I want to revoke grey’s rights to call themselves a medical drama. There’s nothing medical about this show.

JUST WATCH MER TOUCH A DIRTY ASS BASIN AND THEN TOUCH A WHOLE HUMAN LUNG WITH THE SAME HANDS

YOU KNOW HOW DIRTY THAT BASIN IS SITTING ON WHATEVER THE FUCK IT WAS SITTING ON??? GET A NURSE TO HOLD THE BASIN. YOUR HANDS ARE STERILE

(Okay, I’m also sure the basin would be sterile but I can’t. I can’t believe in real life, they’d have the same hands hold a basin and a human organ. Someone who’s a doctor or works in the OR, tell me if I’m right. I need to know. )

Also, Bailey taking off her mask when she’s hugging Mer after the surgery. Right TO JAIL!

anon said: And finally... not half of maggies wedding guests ditching the wedding to go stand in a hallway and clap for mer LMAO like they couldnt have done that the next day??? Like I said before, most of this episode was comedy lol.

it’s COVID. Why are people going into the hospital unnecessarily??????

Yes, but you’re right. I gotta watch these eps like it’s a comedy or I’ll LOSE MY FACKING MIND

anon said: Redeeming parts of this episode: merhayes still has potential, need them to stop having the same scene over and over again though. Nico ily and alex get that cheque for sitting there, dancing, and clapping for ellen. Jo selling her shares to koracick... lmao. Bokhee and the other nurse getting their vaccines :’)

LOL @ merhayes having the same interaction. I was telling some people that I’d love for Hayes and Owen to have some scenes and for Hayes to kick Owen’s ass. Because like @schmico-ing said, Owen is a child collector and Hayes would absolutely fucking hate him.

YES ALEX LANDI GETTIN’ THAT DOUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH. What an amazing job. I hope he gets paid in the 6 figures for his time at grey’s.

I don’t know how I feel about Koracick. I love caring Koracick. I hate asshole Koracick. I feel like they’re two different people. 

BOHKEE <3

Anyways, love your rants. I look forward to them when s18 starts or even whenever you have the odd urge to rant!

[kewltie]

i,,, had a thought what if izuku thought he couldn't give kasumi the best kind of future for her so when she had just turned two, izuku met up Katsuki's parents at their house and asked them to take care of her and quietly disappeared so katsuki ends up being a new up and coming hero with a baby girl on the side.

kasumi is raised in the Bakugou household and is love fiercely and spoiled atrociously her grandparents, daddy, and his friends. she got everything a girl can ask for but in the back of her head there's a fuzzy memory of green eyed man and his gentle low voice when he called out her name.  she loves daddy above all even when he's being very annoying and overbearing because Kasumi is Daddy's precious princess and very very much like him as everyone says but when she looks in the mirror she sees blond hair, a perfect face and smile that resembles daddy but her eyes are the color of someone's else. Someone who is long gone from her memories, but they live in each breath she take. Live in the green hue of her eyes.

she doesnt know this person name but she know who he is. her other parent, the one who had abandoned her. she thinks he's a coward and weak for giving her up. she hates him so she wants to find him one day and yell at him and tell him that he's horrible HOW COULD HE LEAVE HER?? DIDNT HE LOVE HER?!

Izuku had carried kasumi in his body for ten months and he had her in his arms, giggling and crying, for only 2yrs but he loves her with all he has. when he had handed Kasumi to mitsuki it felt like he was giving away a part of himself because she is his, his most precious treasure. he broke down crying afterward, like he had just ripped out his heart and given it away but he knows katsuki and his family would give her a better future and a happier life than he could ever do. this is for her, he told himself, but it doesnt stop the agonizing pain he felt. the pain never truly stopped even though he had moved halfway across the country so he doesnt give in to the urge to race back and beg the Bakugou to give Kasumi back to him. he can only watch her grow up in the public eyes as the little princess of the new no. 1 hero, ground zero, like a bystander in her life.

kasumi grew up as the darling of the hero community because she was an enigma to the world. A BABY SUDDENLY appearing out of nowhere and to the HOTTEST upcoming hero?? and he had her while he was in high school?! and WHERE WAS THE OTHER PARENT?! a hero single parenting at his age is absurd. it got the nation scandalized and fixated on katsuki and his baby since day one so kasumi heavily grew up under the spotlight and in the public eye. it didn't help that she was terrifyingly clever, beautiful, blunt, and a natural hellraiser just by being bakugou katsuki's daughter.

the public adore her and she kinda mostly tolerate them back because it can't be help that she's so cute and smart that ppl want to pay attention to her (that bakugou’ss arrogance and confident coming out) lol. every move she make and say is always on the news, she doesnt mind it. really. sometimes when she lets herself think about it, she wonder if HE is watching her on TV somewhere in the world. does he see how much she had grown up now? does he love the dress she's wearing? is he proud of her? is he regretting HOW HE COULD LEAVE SUCH A PERFECT CHILD BEHIND? maybe all her achievements (the best in her class, athletics awards, ballet dancing and extracurricular activities she'd picked up and bested everyone else at) is her way of drawing attention to herself, maybe if she's SHOW EVERYONE SHE'S TRULY THE BEST,,, he'll come back to see her one day. the thing is kasumi is perfectly happy with her life. daddy is the best thing EVER and she loves him so, so much because that she never feels like she's a burden or lacking of anything but even his love isn't enough to fill that empty void in her, the 2yrs that she’d spent with that person.

all the while izuku tunes to the TV everyday in hope of getting a glimpse of her somehow, cut magazines and news clippings of her, and keeps track of her life through pieces of reporting because even if he isn't in her life, he wants to know what's going on in it and if she's happy at all. he'd built an entire shrine devoted to kasumi in his bedroom. there are pictures and news/magazine clippings of her on his walls. any mentions of her from katsuki or others, he'll watch the vid over and over again till his eyes are tired and he can repeat it word for word.  

for several years he had watch her from afar, but on her seven birthday, five years since he'd let her go, he was so WEAK with longing that he bought a plane ticket just to see her. EVEN IF IT'S ONLY A GLIMPSE OF HER WILL DO, TO BREATH THE SAME AIR AND HE'LL LEAVE AGAIN. that's all he wanted. izuku in disguise had lurked around the bakugou's household with hundreds of fans and reporters because it's the birthday of the ground zero's most precious PRINCESS and everybody wants a piece of her. izuku should have been in there with kasumi and the bakugous celebrating  her birthday instead of lurking outside like a creep but maybe that's true in another world. not now though.

in this world, he's just some weirdo stalker who obsessed with bakugou kasumi and her daddy as he waits outside to maybe see a glimpse of her at all. then he heard it, kasumi's boisterous giggles as she loudly proclaims she will magnanimously grace her fans with her presence.

"daddy, these people are obviously here for me," she scoffs, talking to an annoyed katsuki as they stroll out to the front yard. "I'll just say hi then i'll come back. stop worrying. you'll get even more grey hair and what will i do if you become uglier?" SHE'S SO BLUNT AND MEAN and izuku wanna cry because that's HIS BABY

he actually didn't even get to see her in person AT ALL because he ran the fuck away as soon as her heard her footsteps coming outside the bakugou's enormous home because he couldn't endure it. he knows if his eyes fall upon her person even once HE'LL BREAK DOWN AND never let her go again!

he can tell kasumi is lively, healthy, and clearly HAPPY with her life because katsuki had done right by her. izuku knew it was the right choice to leave kasumi to him and to hear that evidence so CLEARLY it was a relief and heartbreaking because it means that he was also right that he couldn't give her this. izuku quietly disappeared back to his life, never stop watching kasumi closely and once kasumi turned nine he decided it been long enough and she probably forgotten all about him and no longer caring about the disappointing parent who had abandoned her in a moment of weakness.

izuku moves closer to them. they're finally in the same city after seven years apart but it's not like kasumi nor katsuki knows that he is here at all. he tries to keep a low unassuming profile and promised to himself that he’ll never approach kasumi or katsuki at all. he manages to keep that promise for a year. then kasumi turns ten and HIJACKS katsuki's press conference to declares in front of hundred flashing cameras that, "my daddy is getting old and lonely and i cant be with him always so i'll be on the look out for good spouse for him :3c!" as katsuki roars in the background lol.

izuku was heartbroken in a diff kind of way compare to when he had given kasumi away because this is katsuki and kasumi, the two people he loves the most, finally moving on without him. katsuki will have a new mate and kasumi will have another parent that isn't HIM. he's happy but also very, very sad.

this is where like FATE OR SOME BULLSHIT because izuku managed to avoid the two of them for an entire year but ~things~ happens and he accidentally bumps into kasumi and KASUMI IS TOTALLY CHARMED by this strange quirkless nervous man who looks at her like she's his entire world. shes like ahh,,, maybe i should introduce him to daddy as a potential mate? not knowing that the man she feels an inexplicably drawn/attached to is actually her papa. bakudeku MEETING AGAIN AFTER 10 YEARS and yea, SHENANIGANS, MISUNDERSTANDING, SO MUCH DRAMA and also KASUMI lol

[littlespaceporgs]

The Clone Wars Reacts - Part 5

Or Leah loses her shit at Jar Jar, thirsts for Aayla Secura for an episode and a half, and then swoons for Riyo Chuchi.

Welcome once more to the Reacts series! I’m a busy woman for now but I am setting up a schedule for this series which will be

Today we’re covering episodes 12, 13, 14 and BONUS! 15. This is because I got super bored during episode 14 and basically didnt write anything so, here you go! As per usual, major spoiler alert for season 1 of the clone wars! If you haven’t read the previous parts to this series, I suggest you do so that you can follow along! 

Part 1 - Episodes 1 and 2 Part 2 - Episodes 3, 4 and 5 Part 3 - Episodes 6, 7 and 8 Part 4 - Episodes 9, 10 and 11

Tags (if you want to join, my taglist can be found on my page!): @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @girlvader @simping-for-fives @littlevodika @hounding-around @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @onabouteverything @acciokenobi @catsnkooks @captainrexstan @roseofalderaan @fractiouskat

We’re well past the half-way point, so there is 2 parts left of season 1, and then onto season 2! So lets get into it!

Episode 12: The Gungan General

> heheheheheheheh jar jar I am KEEN

> I get hondo and jar jar in one episode

>> this’ll be funny

>>> actually no scratch that, this is gonna be hilarious

> oh and they woke up in a cell this will be fun

> HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA AND THEYRE BOUND TO DOOKU

> DISASTER I TELL YOU

> “if I keep my mouth shut you’ll devise a plan so get off the god forsaken planet?” “YES”

> this dude seems traitorous as fuck (im referring to one of the pirates, not dooku shockingly)

> I wish Ahsoka and Yoda were in this too, I want more disaster lineage

> ah he is indeed a traitor

> “HEIDY HO CHANCELLOR”

> JAR JAR WHOO

> “stop messing around, we’re landing. Secure yourself” “MESA TRYING ITS STUCK”

> promptly followed by jar jar falling everywhere

> oh and now he’s in the cockpit

> oh shit that senator guy is definitely dead right?

> “do control tour protégées insolence” “anakin, control your insolence, the count is concentrating”

> “do we know where we’re going?” “Ssh anakin” “DO we know where we’re going?”

> is it safe? Of course it i- riiiiiight

>> I forgot this was the clone wars for a second, this is gold

> FRIENDS DONT DRUG FRIENDS HONDO

> y’know, dooku’s quite amusing when he’s not trying to kill my favourite characters

> “are you now in command” “uh no, binks is the highest ranking” ooooohhhh boy

> ooooooohhhh and some mind tricks too, nice

> I hate to say this, but jar jar is actually smart

> holy shit

> beasties are nearby too, we’ll be fine. they run, we run

>> Dayum jar jar actually making good decisions?

> I present a real and accurate image of my reaction to this statement

> Mesa be having an idea oooohhh booooyyy

> obi wan that is no way to speak to your grandmaster

> be patient master the count is elderly and doesn’t move like he used to

> I would kill you both now if I didn’t have to drag your bodies

>> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH this is the only reaction I’ll accept

> then falling all over each other is the only thing I’ve ever needed to see

> “ this is not going well” no shit

> my question is why did obi wan not drop Dooku?? Does he actually still care about this man?

> you’re right, I don’t think youre going to be friends 🤦‍♀️😂

> sneaky lying snake

> bruh they don’t even know you’ve got the Jedi captive??????????

>> so how does that work you dumbass

> no shit, you will look like fools obi wan

> “there be some bombad clankers” 😂😂

>> “huh YOURE right, bombad clankers” I love the shock

> YOURE RIGHT HE IS SMARTER THAN HE LOOKS, GIVE JARJAR SOME CREDIT

> oh boy anakin, just keep your mouth shut genius

> man electrocution doesn’t look like fun

> HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH

> The next few lines of confused joy are me reacting to jar jar somehow single handedly taking out 3 tanks

> what the fuck

> JarJar I I’m what-

> JUST DID A GOOD THING, I DONT REGERT THIS THING AT ALLLLLLLL

> fuckin JarJar was great

> “KILL HIM HES NOT A REPRESENTATIVE, HES A PLAGUE” I’m ded 💀😢💀

> serves you right you snake, now dooku gonna choke your ass

> oooohhhhh that’s how these two twits (hondo and obi-wan) became friends

> “and... he knows where you live” Oof the subtle threat is real

> hem I love obi wan very much and his sarcasm

 Episode 13: Jedi crash

> I JUST SAW AAYLA I AM EXCITED I AM ALSO ATTRACTED TO HER VERY MUCH

> SHES HOT

> I LOVE HER

> AND HER VOICE JUST MAKES ME ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

> I wish I was bly, not gonna lie

> I have a quick question - the 501st colour is blue right? Then why do they have a gold squad, doesn’t the extra colours just confuse things?

> I love seeing anakin and Ahsoka in action coolest thing to watch

> And anakin

>> I am also quite attracted to him

>>> imagine dragging your hands through that hair as he- wait no I have minors in my followers not gonna finish that

> Uh oh

>> Oh anakin you twit

>>> HE LOCKED HOMSELF IN WITH AN EXPLOSION JDGKJDJFKFKFKFKFF

> HES INSANE

> Are all Jedi so reckless? Just the good ones - love this by the way

> Oooohh shit for a STAR

> I mean like? I know anakin doesn’t die, but this shit is concerning

> Perfected the art of destroying ships and getting master almost killed? Sounds familiar

> I hate it when they just call them “padawan “ it just feels very impersonal like bleh

> Like I love aayla but god the Jedi preach some bullshit

>> God forbid someone raises a child and gets attached to it

>>> Like for fucks sake

>>>> Can you tell this is something I’m passionate about?

> Anyway, moving on

> Oh hi anakin! You’re alive!

> That bird lookin thing is tryna eat my boy 😤

> Oop - well that dudes dead

> Aawwwwwww aayla looks so sad, this makes me sad too

> Can we just appreciate this?

> Well these little critters are cute

> Ooooohhh I think I agree with this little dude

> You can skip the paragraph if you like, its just me going off about ‘peacekeeping’

> Alright gonna get mildly into it for a second, the clone wars really gets into it with episodes like this, displaying how the entire galaxy was starting to lose faith in the Jedi and their peacekeeping ways, in the movies we just got that people just started hating the Jedi because they became part of the war, but this really fleshes it out and shows just how slowly and gradually the loss of faith is. Because he’s right, the Jedi aren’t peacekeepers anymore, they bring as much destruction with them that the separatists do and have become symbols of war. They’re fighting for a good reason yes, but they can no longer claim that they are peacekeepers or that they played no role in this war.

> ANYWAY BACK TO REACTS

> AH MY TWO FAVOURITE WOMEN AND A PRETTY BACKGROUND AGAIN!! They really do be doing me a great service

Part 14: Defenders of Peace

> I’m really not into this episode, just saying it now

> Anakins just as bad as obi wan, like honestly just chill bro, fucking REST

>> MY BOYS DESERVE SOME GODDAMN REST AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL OK-

> Okay but is it taking a life if it’s a droid?

> Ugh this dudes ugly as fuck

> What did you think was gonna happen?? Of course your village was going to be ransacked

> I could go on forever about the pointlessness of this war like it just makes me mad palpatine you slimy git-

> My reacts this episode are really boring huh, I’m not into it 😭

*fully I didn’t write anything for about 10 minutes here because it’s just a little boring*

> HOLY SHIT NOW THATS A FUCKING WEAPON

> Yep sorry that’s it for this ep, I’m so bored 😂

>> Anyway, bonus episode because that one was short!

Part 15: Trespass

> YES OBIWAN WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO

> AND IS THAT RIYO CHUCHI I SPY?????

> Hahahahahahahhahahaha it’s not tatooine, you got that right

> Oh god this dude already sounds like a dick (its the chancellor dude but not palpatine)

> Why’s he so defensive over it?

> Oh yikes, that does not look good

> Seppies don’t do that though - this is... odd

> Ah and the same thing has been done to the droids

> Off topic, but I think I’m going to make a clone wars drinking game that I can do while I do my reacts, so I’m going to make that this week, send me your ideas in the comments or dm me!

> Back to ep - pfffffffttt obi wans little taps and then anakin really goes WHACK

> Anyway I’m going to do this in the next couple days and then every Friday night I’ll watch a few eps and drink away

> Alright back to the episode once more

> Abominable snowman????

>> Definitely

> This is gonna go well isn’t it?

> “Well? Say something”

>> “Just shut up” *visible eye roll*

> What the fuck is their mouth

> Okay really obi wan, I think it’s pretty clear they don’t speak basic

> YEEEEEEAAAHHH THATS MY BOI ANAKIN

> Awwwwwwww that shits cute, fucking bear huugggg I want to be hugged like that

> I’m not fussed if it’s anakin, obi wan or kit fisto but please someone love me

>> Preferably kit fisto

> Anyway this dudes a dick (again, its the chancellor dude)

> They obviously have intelligence, and this dude has issues

>> I’m thinking he’s trying to compensate for something 👀

> Oof you really gonna tell a Jedi what to do?

> HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA the other people’s were there already

> Ugh he reminds me of my very racist grandparents oh boy

> You’ve been told like 4 times that it is not your jurisdiction anymore and you still can’t take it?

>> BRUH

> She’s so tiny and adorable and her voice is just 🥰🥰🥰🥰

>> Oh no

>>> I’m simping for another character

> Surely this guy dies

> HAHAHAHAHAH HE JUST GOT SPEARED SERVES YOU RIGHT MOTHERFUCKER

> What a dick, he shall not be missed

> She’s just, so pretty??? And smart????

>> FUCK MY BISEXUAL ASS CANT HANDLE THIS

> he’s seriously not dead yet?

> AAAHH RIYO YOU SMART GIRL YEEEEESSSS NEGOTIATE THAT PEEEEAAACCEEEE

> THATS MY GIRL SENATOR CHUCHI YEEEESSS

Welp that’s it for today folks, it was lovely, see y’all at some point this week where I say the drinking game rules and then next drunken Friday (even though these are gonna be released on saturdays but I write them on fridays?)

[littleblackqrow]

((I think the most frustrating part of watching people analyze the actions of characters in vol8 is that the biggest complaint is that logic is thrown out the window and I would argue that’s the point. Especially because of the perspective of the show. I really hate to keep picking on Ironwood, Qrow, and RWBY, but those characters are the ones driving the plot, so I guess we gotta.

Lets start with RWBY. They’re kids first off. WBY are all about 19-20 years old and Ruby is 17. Lets start off by saying those are ages not exactly known for smart, long term decision making. Most people that age are trying to figure out what they want to do for the rest of their lives, struggling with college, dates, drinking, sex for the first time. They’re stumbling around in adult bodies while still having more or less the mind of a teenager because society has suddenly stopped treating them like a kid and expects them to be an adult. Except instead of having to struggle with decisions about their near future, RWBY is being asked to save the world. If you think you could handle that pressure well at 17-19, you’re lying. 

Does it make their decisions right though? No. The way they treated Ozpin for hiding the worst of his abuse and the fact that his ex-wife was an insane bitch who is functionally immortal is wrong. But again, I ask you, could you handle having all that dumped into your lap in an already stressful situation? The person who should be (and rightly is) condemned for his reaction is Qrow for throwing a punch. No matter how upset you are no hitting. Once you throw a punch in that situation, you’re the bad guy. And until he makes an effort of an apology he’s the bad guy in that situation. 

The biggest problem that team RWBY has is that all of their terrible decisions throughout the show have either been rewarded, or the got bailed out from having to see the real consequences. 

Ozpin allowed Blake to hide her White Fang past and therefore missed the least subtle component of the Fall of Beacon. Things could have been significantly less bad if he’d known about their involvement and was able to send Qrow in to spy on their operations. Maybe he could have figured out what Roman or Adam was up to, realized they were working for Cinder and by extension Salem.

Ozpin allowed team RWBY to do a mission that was a couple grades too advanced for them because he knew they’d break the rules otherwise. That was a tacit acknowledgement that he thought whatever they were up to was alright, and that they had his blessings on whatever it was that they wanted to do.

The best example of terrible decision after terrible decision that RWBYJNR makes is Argus. They have no idea how they’re getting the Relic to Atlas, and they seem road blocked. Jaune suggests stealing an airship, and Qrow, the adult in the room tells them that this is a bad idea, and if it goes bad it has the potential to screw up their entire life. He’s right. The problem is that he’d run off on his bender, and therefore the kids, and we in the audience, are supposed to see this as an unreasonable suggestion. 

However, it plays out as him being right. The incredibly complicated plan did go wrong. Now, they had no reason to suspect at the time that Adam was stalking Blake at the time (and I could go into why thats perfectly ic for him at another date), but there were a lot of moving parts in this plan and literally any of them could have broken. Everything that happened after they put this plan into motion was reactionary. Cordovan, obsessed with showing the Might of Atlas (TM), jumped into the mech suit. At that point, Ruby didnt really have a choice of not breaking it. But the ensuing fight created enough general unease that it summoned a Grimm hoard.

By rights, Argus should have fallen because of their bad decisions and in spire of their best efforts. Instead, Cordovan had a change of heart at the last moment and bailed them out.

This just reinforced the flawed idea that RWBY is always in the right and directly lead to s7′s climax. They are the unstoppable force.

Now you have Ironwood, quite literally the unmovable object, which I now realize is sort of his name. Ha.

Ironwood’s behavior does not come out of nowhere. Since his appearance, he’s had problem stamped all over him. He showed up with an entire goddamn army to a supposedly peaceful event that is to promote unity and the excellence of each kingdom. His rationale is that the people are going to be impressed with his big guns and feel safe. Ozpin gently points out that those big guns also signal to people that there is something out there that those big guns are designed to shoot. 

If its not a Grimm, could it mean that Atlas intends to shoot people?

Remember we’re not even 100 years out from the last World War, one that was basically started by Atlas. People are nervous. There are still grandparents and great grandparents alive today that were kids when the Great War was happening. Not only that but we’re also made aware that Atlas has rolled in the apolitical protectors of the people, the Huntsmen, into its military. This elite fighting force that is basically above the law and can go to any country in the world whenever they want, is now part of the military. The ONLY standing military that Remnant seems to have.

All of this has obviously caused friction in the Inner Circle. Qrow is not quite and never has been quiet about his disdain for James’ heavy handed techniques. Glynda calls James’ actions a dick measuring competition, and Ozpin was trying to be gentle about it, but he was clearly telling Ironwood to get his army off his fucking front lawn. And what did Ironwood do? He’d gone around Ozpin and talked to the Vale council.  They were threatening to remove Oz fro his position because they agreed with Ironwood: he was being too passive. Ironwood even tells Glynda that he cant believe that a man he trusted for so long would just sit by and stand to the side instead of meeting the problem head on. He didnt seem to understand why Qrow would want to go gather intelligence on an operation before sending in the big guns. 

Ironwood has never been a man to put a well thought out plan with all his ducks in a row into motion. This is a man who plows through opposition at every opportunity.

And when we see him again, we can see him steamrolling through opposition again. Somehow he got himself two seats on the council. That gives him an enormous amount of power. And his position as general means that at any point he can declare an emergency and become the de facto dictator of Atlas if he deems it fit. The problem is that he’s having these arguments against Jacques Schnee a man that the audience rightly hates, so he seems reasonable. Who gives a fuck about Jacques loosing business, he’s a dickhead. We’re not noticing the fact that James is consolidating power, or that he’s using that power to make unilateral decisions with no one telling him no.

There’s no one left in the room who is able or willing to tell him that these are bad ideas, that there will be consequences that he cant foresee. His  bullish behavior lead to both Robyn Hill and Jacques Schnee running for an empty council seat, and that created the environment that we walked into in s7.

Now, not all James’ ideas are bad. The Amity Project is actually a really good one, and James is right in wanting to keep it from the general public until its near completion. But you know who should have known? The other fucking council members. Probably the candidates. Playing your cards too close to the chest when you clearly need help and allies is a bad thing. But again, James didnt even trust Ozpin to be able to run his own kingdom, so durr hurr of course he’s the only one who can take care of Amity. And run a kingdom. And run an academy. And protect an ageing, ailing Maiden. And of course he doesnt have time to treat his horrific PTSD from the Fall of Beacon.

So when things go tits up because again, of course they will with a plan that complex James Ironwood doubles the fuck down on his terrible solo decision making. Clearly, non of this is his fault. No one is listening to him. He cannot trust others to make decisions so he’s going to make all of them. There’s no one around him to tell him no, especially because the first person that tried was publicly executed. 

James is scared. He’s had a mental break because of that fear. His paranoia, his PTSD, and the fact that there’s nothing there to help him back to stability means that he’s just going to be bouncing from one terrible choice to the next. He’s Hamlet in the throes of paranoia, heading down a road that is going to get everyone, including himself killed. He is King Lear as the world crumbles around him, acting cruel and making unreasonable, horrible demands of those around him. 

Working with Watts seems like an absolutely terrible idea, but to someone who thinks that he is in control of the situation because he has to be in order to keep functioning, there’s no way that this can bite him in the ass. For James, if no one is willing to follow his orders, he’s going to make them. This attitude is probably exactly why Watts did what he did and joined Salem in the first place. 

So when you combine the unstoppable force of Team RWBY, who’s been told they’re the child saviors of the world, and who’ve been either rewarded or bailed out of their bad decisions against the immovable object of Ironwood and his absolute conviction in himself, you have the mess Atlas is in now.

Honestly I find it kind of brilliant. 

[noorengels]

reasons i am sad (friendship edition)

in year 4 my best friend invited everyone to her birthday party and not me and they all actually kept it a secret really well they almost pulled it off except she held her party in la plaza which basically is the hangout spot for families in that area i spent all my fridays there playing until midnight bc literally everyone from school would go. so i was walking home with my entire family inc grandparents and uncles and we went through la plaza and there they were! every single one of my friends at her party! apparently her mum didnt let her invite me bc apparently i hit her which i didn’t i hit another girl so her excuse is invalid and its the first time ive been so publicly excluded i cried on a bench.

in year 7 we hated this girl bc she was so fake i genuinely believe she is a psychopath like she has all the symptoms except shes in set 5 maths lol so my friend was like what if i spread a rumour about her and i was like lol do it and she did and for some reason i was blamed??? and lost all of my friends and she bullied me so hard but i didnt realise bc i was “friends” with her bc our mums were friends so shed like walk with me to lessons and talk to me while belittleing me and idk she was just a fucking bitch she made me feel so horrible like it was emotional bullying but also like telling everyone who i liked and saying lmao you literally have no friends “count how many friends you have? omg you literally cant even reach ten can you???” like in front of everyone but then shed also be really nice to me at the same time like idk it was like she was my friend but she bullied me it was so horrible saffa i hate you and the original friend who spread the rumour went on to become her best friend for like 6 years so uh hate that

managed to make friends with people not in my class in year 8! which sucked bc saffa had alienated people in my class so now they all just didnt like me i was the weird girl with no friends because of her and it was so horrible bc id always be forced to join the ready made groups between friends by the teacher  bc i didnt have a group to work with or id get paired with the weird girl like i was only the weird girl after saffa made everyone hate me this girl was weird bc she just is idk 

in year 10 they made a gc without me! i basically created that group tho like i gathered these friends i hade made in different lessons (obviously not in my main class lol) and they literally just??? decided to exclude me for no reason. and then theyd talk about what they talked about in the gc in front of me like “omg remember last night on the gc” isha ur so fucking boring no normal person talks about their gc with the same people again do u have no other conversational points smh

in year 11 it got so bad to the point where once i sat with them and they all just left! like they took their stuff and moved to the table behind me i wanted to cry so bad i did at home i think its the worst one out of all of these because it happened to my face? idk saffa was horrible too but this was just “were leaving” idk like ive never felt as horrible as i did in that moment i cant even describe how im feeling rn reliving it

its okay bc i made friends with my best friend from sciences + history bc our surnames are next to each other so we always sat together! i honestly clung to this girl after that bc i refused to spend a second longer with that other group after 3 years of enduring not even being liked by ur friends so i made friends with her friends which was easy bc yes! 

so by the first term of year 12 i had three friends! in fact one of them was like ur not having a birthday party??? im taking u out to eat so my first birthday event thing in literally years was all thanks to arun i am honestly so grateful for him he didnt even go bc he was busy and we planned it the day before my birthday but it was literally me and two friends eating pizza at zizzis and im crying so much rn but year 12 was when i found people who genuinely cared about me

we established a group of like 8 lol and were planning a holiday for the end of year 13! very skam of us! we had a gc and everything! we were gonna go to spain bc im spanish so i could speak!

this trip was unspoken of in year 13 and i was like lol kinda weird um okay but nope nothing weird about it they just created a chat without me and were still going to spain!!! one of them even sent me screenshots of their airbnb to translate its like u want me to know lol

i did complain to one of them but thats it i was just hurt on my own and coronavirus happened so it got cancelled anyways so i won really

in yr 13 i also got closer to this boy called adam! i remember my friend was like you two would get on so well idk why ur not friends and i was like idk its adam lol do i really want to and yes i did bc he is in fact the isak to my sana! but anyways i hate him but i love him we have that kinda friendship where were alwAYS trying to beat the other one up and honestly the most heart felt goodbye when schools shut was between us both bc at first we were fighting and then he just stopped and his eyes softened and i was like whats wrong with you why arent u punching me and he went come here and we hugged and its like wow despite being a dick ill miss you

anyways so uhhh quarantine we skyped often it was fun and then restrictions were lifted i went to spain and the second i land they all stop talking in the gc????? like im abroad not dead why are u creating a new one??? this gc was agressively spammed so i know for a fact theres another im not stupid

i come back from spain and theyre like can we meet!!! we meet three weeks later and theyr like i missed u so much im so happy uou came i love you and it felt really genuine like they genuinely missed me

two days later i find out through snapchat theyve all gone on holiday together!!!!!!!!!!!!! all of them and just ofc didnt invite me they went to the beach for two days and kept posting about it and im so bitter about it like bro???????? why so secretive????? like i cried so much when i saw bc they still just idk why does every single friendgroup ive ever been in exclude me like i must be the problem theres no other explanation for it i am not the kind of person people want to have around i am so funny but im a bitch and will come for ur ass because i have the inability to lie i have no filter either which i know makes them dislike me i know it does but thats the price you oay for being my friend i just say things as it is becauxe i hate secrets bc secrets are always about excluding me so i rather be honest and upfront but that clearly puts people off bc im too upfront and im not getting a personality transplant im not tryna be boring but im so sick of always being the one on her own

adam was relevant uh hews my only friend rn he checked up on me the other day so cheers adam for making sure im not completely isolated

the funny thing is that all my friends hate adam bc “hes a dick” hes not he just says things how it is were so similar so if they hate adam they hate me and im over being hated lol bye!

i start uni next week and i clearly have no social skills so im not gonna make friends im so scared of being lonely i hate being left out

this went from sad to full on angry like i was crying at some point and now im fuming like im so hot rn my blood pressure isnt doing okay

[cs-discourse]

it is my dream to unlock all of the cs & discourse mods backstories. why is juice box filled with hatred? why does phe hint vaguely at a sad angst backstory? ( legit tho phe, you ok? ) why do rando anons dislike cinna for super petty reasons? why did I think phe and peach were the same mod? why does raey suck so much? actually, why do all the rp mods suck so much? these are some of the questions I hope will be answered by the unlocking of the mods backstories.

fjjvhdhhche honestly, if you really wanna know, sit tight for a second. Youve unlocked my sad anime backstory by asking 😔😔😔😜 But yeah tw for abuse and suicide ig.

So to keep this as short as I can, my mom yeeted basically as soon as I was born, my dad went off to war and when he came back he couldnt hold any jobs so me and him lived w my grandparents (who were taking care of me when he was gone too). My grandmother (bitchma from now on) hates him (and i hated him for a while, but now I see why she did and I love him) and kicked him out bc he had no job and major ptsd.

So I lived with gparents up until I was 18. In that time I was basically subjected to gaslighting, manipulation, all types of mental and physical abuse, mostly by bitchma. They believed in spanking (ofc. which is fucking horrble. do not spank your child) and I would legit have panic attacks??? anxiety attacks? (not sure which. i bever figured it out) where I couldnt breathe and I hyperventilated and sobbed and it was horrible, and bitchma would just tell me to “Stop that, you can breathe” while im sobbing and gasping for air. She’ll get mad at anything and everything, screamed constantly, blamed me for everything. Always said “Well (insert other child) didnt do this” or “I bet your friend (only friend i talked about) gets good grades”. Would scream at me about clothes I would wear, even if she backhandedly approved them earlier. Would hurt my feelings and when I would cry or feel the courage to tell her she hurt me she would just say “the world doesnt revolve around you”. Never apologized. Got mad at me for bad grades when I was in such a bad mind state because I had to live there with her. Said “I’ve never had a child that’s failed before, even your dad got good grades. But it seems like the only thing you can do.” That hurt me a lot. I remember it so clearly. I tried to kill myself that day, and other days, but by then I had friends I cared for. And I loved my friends as my family. If I did it, they would hurt and I never wanted to do that to them.

But coming back to my dad hate, she hates him because she couldn’t mold him into a perfect little child and was realizing she couldn’t mold me into a perfect child either. My dad and I have such similar personalities and likes it’s insane. Most likely because we were raised by the same tyrant with the same mindset of “I hate her”. He’s told me that even though he’s literally been deployed in war, some of the shit she’s done has given him more ptsd than it. I moved in with him when I turned 18. This is the happiest I’ve been in my entire life, escaping that hellhole. There’s so much more she’s done, but honestly I don’t have the willpower and don’t want to drone on, this is very long.

But yeah. She’s the only person that I’ve ever had no mercy for. When I heard she may have cancer, I was so fucking happy. But she didn’t, sadly. With the shit bitchma subjected me to, I honestly wish her the worst with her growing age. That’s how much fucking pain she’s caused me. Sorry to dump, but 1: you did ask and 2: it feels nice to vent

.phe

-

You probably thought we were both the same because I tend to keep to myself and both mod names start with P and I was signing as MP for a while when I started typoing Peach a lot and wanted to save myself the trouble.

Also, here’s my backstory LOL.. o<-<

I was born with a tumor disorder called infantile myofibromatosis and all that means is that I had self-resolving tumors all over my body at about age 3. As a result of the tumors going away, I spent a lot of years 8-12 in the hospital getting spinal transfusion work and checkups due to a destroyed vertebra, which would have resulted in paralysis from the waist down if untreated. I’ve got some pretty neat scars from all of this and I kinda want to get them turned into tattoos but I can’t because of MRIs scheduled for every 10 years.

Thankfully, the surgeries worked and I could resume “normal” activity approved by my surgeon at about 16. I have pictures of my before and after spinal x-rays if anyone wants to see. I think they’re kinda cool.

I tend to be a shut book about everything unless we’re friends and usually when I tell people everything they’re like D: I’m so sorry. So I just skip the guilt of sharing and don’t.

I’ve got a lot of nostalgic interests because I feel like I’m always trying to make up for lost time but I’m working on letting some things go.

My family tries to be supportive most of the time but my father is manipulative and tries to gaslight everyone. He kinda treats everyone in the house like we exist to serve him like a king and my brother’s frustrations often wind up being exploded all over my mother and I. It’s very a toxic household situation and I was happier before COVID when I could party and club and avoid my family with my college friends but I think that ship has sailed.

I’m currently in the process of trying to save money for future rent and new clothing, take my GRE again to raise my score above 160 and then fly the coop for good. It’ll probably take a year for all of this at least, if not longer. We’ll see. // Mod Peach

[ilguna]

i also have a list of shit my history teacher (this year) has said and done so I will share it with you:

warning: its really fucking long bc he would say/do shit MULTIPLE times a day

goes onto the next slide, “it’s a meme, get it?” proceeds to explain the meme (its the hey arnold meme with the first)

also goes onto another slide, with the twitter opinion meme. at the end of the paragraph it says “this class smacks, I’m lit”

“I’m going to beat up your brother. i am going to pummel him.”

On the 6th day of class he finally realized that there was a total of 6 guys and the rest were girls

student: “You should not put it in (as an assingment)”. teacher; “laugh out loud, im dead”

he was teaching us how to write a DBQ, the computer had a pop up saying that the battery was low, and then a spider shows up out of fucking nowhere, hanging from the ceiling. he CLAPS it, jokes about eating it, and then sets it on his desk (not in the trash can 2 feet away) so he can “deal with it later”

his endless military stories, specifically ORANGE DESERT

he wrote “if you would have had your thinking skull on” on my first DBQ

him saying “I hate this” after typing a word wrong multiple times while teaching us DBQ’s lmfao

“For the lols”

Threw a box of tissues across the room into the trash can

threw a box of tissues at a student

he had this obsession with throwing expo markers at his whiteboard, trying to make it land on the metal part so expect that a lot.

“Do you want me to drown him in a bathtub?” (which was about a student’s dog that had separation anxiety lmaoo)

Sang the rain drop, drop top song

The collars on his shirt turned up

“He’ll be beaten for that distraction” (after his son called him during his lesson and he willingly answered)

“Stay woke” 

“It was a hot boy summer for him”

expo marker landed on the metal thing for once thanks to a towel that was there

kyle (it must have been a story or something i dont remember)

He woah’d at some point

HAHA so there was a kid in my class that had got caught with a bong on the second week of school and he was suspended. when he came back to class, we were going over what the south grew in the U.S. very early on into colonization. and he used the bong kid as an example of a tobacco farmer

tried to eat a balled up paper

“important revolutionary war stuff”

“My bae, George Washington”

“They could’ve killed g-dubz, but they didn’t”

called george washington “g-dubz” frequiently

“Facts”

“Swagtastic”

he got excited over a military general (baron friedrich von steuben) for being a gay military general--”That was very well respected!”

“He had a ton of swagger”--referring to ben franklin

“His nickname was the swamp fox. You guys can call me that”

The snowball fight story--his brother was friends with a kid he hated next door. my teacher challenged the kid--Eric--to a snowball fight. In preparation, my teacher had froze snowballs, and so when he did have the fight, he LITERALLY knocked Eric out and left him on the front lawn unconscious (he was an elementary school kid)

one time he gave us the punishment quiz by accident, tried to make up for it by giving everyone the answer to #6. however, it turned out to be wrong so he just gave us all 100′s instead

another military story of the goat he bought from an old man with his buddies. unfortunately they had to kill the goat to eat, but the FACT that my teacher said this “a cute little goat--you know, baaa?” as if we didn’t know what a goat was 

He was the golf/hockey coach!! so not only would he talk about beating up the kids in the golf club

he would also do random golf swings all the goddamn time! with no gold club or ball, it was just air.

“You are about to get clowned, young lady”

pronounced pamphlet as pamplet fora good part of his teaching career (another story he told us)

“It’s definitely not the declaration of independence you mouth breather!”

George washington = bae on a powerpoint

“you tied me up real good”

“France also popped off”

Compares the Connecticut compromise to ppap (with the song and everything!)

Told someone to shut up after they suggested that Iowa was the least populated state (he’s from Iowa)

hick iowa, to be exact

Wrote 23 as 32, realized his mistake and said “oop im dyslexic”

“If it’s a purge, I’m killing everybody”

“Federalism, not onion!’

“Who’s the dumbass guy? Ducey!” (our state governor)

he got arrested once. his mugshot is on google images and everything

he got arrested bc some guy was destroying his house w a baseball bat at a party his friendw as throwing (but it was at my teachers house). my teacher respectfully punched him and brought him to the front lawn. called the cops when the guy wouldnt leave and ended up being arrested too. teacher thought his career was over and threatened the guy the entire way to the police station

“laugh out loud!”

“We beat the begeezus out of a bunch of british people”

pronounced wolf as woof

“Who was his daddy? Who’s his daddy?”

Called a swim cap a bonnet

“Kick!”--then proceeds to kick a tennis ball. before that he had just thrown it to get out of his way

“Jesus, you’re a big boy”

for like 2 weeks straight he used that same tennis ball to try and erase a whiteboard. and im not talking rubbing it on the board, he fucking threw it at the wall, getting it off little by little. he eventually gave up, though

“I’ll snot rocket into the trash can”

“Cause I realize most of you are morons”

was obsessed with the cowboy boogie

“Every time I cough, my tail bone hurts”

“Do i look normal?”

“I look like an old man”

“Shut up your faces”

“I see you back there, queen”

“Some of you girls need to learn from this article”--the article was old & about girls being submissive

“that would hurt some people’s feelings, but I’m not gonna show it hurt mine”

“He’s just--’meow’”--about his cat

he had a sweater that had his face on it, photoshopped over a boxer that a student gave him. he wore it during winter

flicked a tennis ball across the room with a hockey stick. hit the coffee thermo on his desk, stared for a couple of seconds, and THEN realized that it was open

First off, all you kids making memes about dodging the draft--we don’t want your dumbasses anyway” --continued to rant for a few minutes after that

he HATED the national anthem with a burning passion

“I’m old as shit”

also, his cat’s name IS meow cat

more expo marker throwing

“Hey there handsome”-- to the teacher next door

“Henry clay is going to haunt you until april” (unfortunately we didnt make it that far into the school year bc of covid. disappointed that i didnt get to be haunted)

Singing electric avenue

“but here’s the tea”

“Flagstaff is like--” *reaches as high as he can to put expo marker on the wall

“I’m adopting all of you, and we’re moving to saudi arabia”

teacher: “I’m gonna break bowers kneecaps in front of you. you still want to be on strike?” not bowers but a different kid: “no...?”

Cleaned the shades in the middle of him explaining something

“You know your pinky toe? this little roast beef?”

THE TURTLE SOUP STORY. when my teacher was still a kid, he found a turtle in the wild, and brought it to his grandparents house (they owned a farm). he took care of the turtle for a while, even after his grandfather found out. until one day he came home and saw blood everywhere, went to find the turtle to see it was gone. then found his grandfather chopping up the fucking turtle so they could have it for soup for dinner. his grandfather literally made him fatten up the turtle so they could eat it

“Did mr.*****--?” (referring to himself in 3rd person, also blocked out to protect privacy)

“i’m going to staple your nostrils closed. staple, staple. ‘I can’t breathe mr.*****!’ should’ve done your DBQ!!”

his pedo stache 

stood with a paper and smiled, thinking that a student was taking a picture of him when it was really the paper

doesn’t know who gaston is???

him: “I’m going to staple your noses together. One staple” Student: “*****’s piercing parlor!”

*singing* “beauty and the beast”

“I’m going to tackle you”

more random golf swinging

“What’s up (my name)?” me: hi *he then hits the bun on the top of my head on his way in the door*

And he did it again the next day

he literally made kids compete with pastries

which reminds me, he brought donuts in 2 days in a row like a week after that and make us (his first hour) take bites bc he realized he didn’t want to eat it. one of the girls was glad to take it from him, everyone else told him no

“Good morning (my name) how are you?” me: “I’m sick again... do you need help? (with the door)” him; “Actually, yes” (normally he can open the door even when his hands are full but there was a stack of pop tart boxes that were as tall as him so) i opened the door, he goes in and says, “thank you (my name), for not being rude”

the following quotes are for the Hot Seat

Student: “what do you do--?” him: “you’re in the hot seat!”

“Some people cry”

“La *****, luxurious”

“You sit here, and you stare (into the projector light)”

basically everyone in the class had to answer a question as a review. there was a stool in front of the smartboard, perfectly placed so that the projector light would LITERALLy be in your eyes. i actually got the question right on some miracle.

“2 points of weed?”

“Can I get some of that hot leaf?”

“They will make more drugs! You can’t do that much drug!”

“You guys bullied me and stole it”

“Whole rest of the nation sucked an egg”

“Whelp, let’s just kill myself”

“Do you guys know david chapel?” *sigh when everyone says no*

*some girls singing the national anthem* Him: “no! none of this, none of this!”

“Calibri’s for idiots” (the font)

“The only thing that was in--shit”

“and uncle sam--gettin lit”

“Their daddy--UH--”

“They’re going to blame the jews--my people” (he got a dna test done, he’s not actually jewish)

“Whatever you say, boomer”

“Use my words to plagiarize in college”

“I’m jewish, that’s offensive”

“Tell him he gave me instant cancer”

Me: “can i go to the bathroom?” him: “I’ll allow it”

him: “He’s antisemetic and it hurts my feelings” student: “what does that mean again?” him: “Hates jews :(”

“You guys can call me kingfish if you’d like”

~ after we said no to the nicknames, we tried to make one for him ~

student: “cornhusker!” him: “no, that’s offensive... and it’s also nebraska”

student: “corn picker!” him: “no--that sounds like a racist term or something”

“Unless corona really does take over--” (thank u, mr. for ruining the school year”

Student: “how old was she (his mom) when she had you?” him: “thirteen”

“My mom just turned 40 the other day...” (a joke)

him: “My brother got t-boned by a semi truck last night” Student: “Why are you laughing?” him: “Because he lived.”

“Yeah bc I would hide out in a public school with 300 new kids a year” (about him not living in iowa so he’s hiding out in az to get away from his “criminal record” (refer to the 1 time hes been arrested))

“Baby death?”

“Their family has more money than jesus”

*Standing outside the door yelling “CORONA” to students walking in”

“Hey I’m *****, f-word, blah, blah”

“We should fight our cats.”

“OH that’s a big chonk cat.”

“Mortal Kombat is pretty cool. I haven’t played in 25 years”

he told us in class once that we shouldnt open the front door if cops show up at a party. just to shut the blinds and be a little quieter bc the cops cant legally open the door

also one time he had a gun pointed to his face but he never finished that story bc he never liked it

during quarantine he set a DBQ as 1000 points (and i still didnt do it)

and “Here’s the tea, kiddos!”

honorable mentions: all the time he’s sent out emails bc theyre fucking hilarious

[h3l10tr0p3]

Bnha Spoilers Chapter 232-235 ahead:

Shigaraki Tomura's Past

This is an analysis of what we know as of yet about the boy born as Shimura Tenko.

The Shimura Household-

Shimura Koutarou, son of Shimura Nana (7th OfA holder, and All Might's mentor) is a successful businessman who owns a two-family home, invites the parents of his in-laws to stay. The joint family consists of- Koutarou, his wife, his in-laws, his (elder) daughter Hana, his son Tenko and their Corgi Mon-chan.

From the start, Shigaraki describes this family as a family of his Father- Koutaro, and not the family of the eldest in the household (the in-laws). It gives us a clear idea of where exactly the authority lies and how much of an influence he holds over its members.

The family is a really well-off one: Two cars, a two-stored suburban condo with a seperate study, a lovely backyard, and they have a pet dog. Shimura Tenko was far from poverty.

Let's look at the members

The Grandparents

Clearly, they love Tenko and Hana a lot, and dote upon their grandkids as grandparents are wont to. But they are 'adults' the same as Tenko's father and Tenko's mother.

When Tenko keeps craving for approval and validation of his dreams to be a Hero from an adult figure, they their try to distract him into psuedo-satisfaction (with his favourite food) or try to (mildly) guilt-trip the boy so that his dreams and his 'inconvenient' calls for acceptance remain buried under the 'happy and peaceful' suburban dream that they seem wary of breaking (and it seems like they are wary of provoking the final authority in the family, Koutarou)

These kind of actions are incredibly commonplace and it happens all the time - this doesn't make their actions excusable though, only relatable. But from another point of view it implies that the grandparents are meek and might actually be afraid of Koutarou for either of two reasons- his known history of violence or the instability of his character (more on this later).

The Mother

She is also caring and loving just like her parents- she takes care of Tenko, is incredibly worried about his allergies. rushes after Tenko when The Father pulls him away to punish him, and finally confronts him when he has gone way too far. But Like begets like, environment moulds character. Thus, she too is another meek personality who cannot stand up against the overbearing authority of the patriarch up until the last moment where violence gets involved. She too is undoubtedly aware that Koutarou can indeed get violent and grim- and this makes her the cautious parent, the stopgap, trying to keep the children in line so that the Father doesn't have to resort to drastic measures. Thus, despite all the love she can shower her son with, she never once supports Tenko's dream. Again, it's understandable. It's cause she knows very intimately what happens to the families of Heroes - she married the man who came from such a family. Instead of supporting Tenko, she asks him if he is sure of it, perhaps trying to seed doubts in his mind, perhaps being sympathetic to his wishes. But rven when Tenko repeats he likes to play Hero and was really happy when his friend compared him with All Might (showing us once more how deeply rooted the currently retired Hero was in Tenko's childhood)- the mother never really encourages Tenko's dream.

When Tenko asks if his dad hates him for being possibly quirkless, she says it isn't so. It's just that his father knows how hard a Hero's life is. And that's that.

You can see that longing for approval in Tenko's eye and the disappointment that follows when the words he yearns for (You can be a Hero) remain unsaid once more. Up till now, 3 people, 3 adults out of 4 have denied this dream and the last adult, The Father, is vehemently adverse to it.

"Children can be surprisingly self-centered and straight forward"

Let's take a small break here from the family members- here, we see one of the two monologues that has been repeated in the chapter 'Children can be surprisingly self-centered and straight forward'. Ngl, I thought this was Shigaraki commenting how his friends Mikkun and Tomo-chan repeatedly left him out when they played together. But the sequence of scenes, gives me a different idea.

From what I gather, it is Shigaraki saying that 'Tenko' as a child, was self-centered and straight-forward. Because right after his conversation with his mother he should have felt dissuaded from continuing with his dream to be a Hero, it has already worried his mother, grandparents and sister, and possibly led him to believe- that his father hated him. However in the very next panel, we see Tenko has gotten into trouble for persisting with that dream and getting into trouble for playing 'Hero'. Shigaraki, as an adult, has begun to condemn that idea in retrospection- going as far as to alienate himself from the past by reffering to his own childhood self with a generalization - 'children'. (There is an alternative reason for this)

Self-centered because Tenko didn't think of the grief and unease of his family when he continued to dream;

Straight-forward because Tenko doesn't have the complex rationale of an adult to support his dream. He selfishly wishes to be a Hero, not for anyone else, but only for himself - there is no other reason for it. A child shouldn't have anymore complicated reasoning for it either.

But Shigaraki clearly considers this his own folly for giving into such emotions at that time.

The second time where this line is repeated when The Father comes up threateningly towards Tenko with the intention of punishing him.

Contrary to the previous use of thia line, here it implies that there is a different subject as the panel moves directly from Hana to Tenko. Which brings up two possibilities -

The line is meant for Tenko himself again. But it doesn't seem to fit.

It is meant for Hana.

Before I explain how it is directed towards Hana, let's return to the Shimura family

Hana

For a few chapters, Hana has been portrayed as Tenko's only true sympathizer and supporter who takes his side in the world of dream-crippling 'Adults'. Although she is maybe only 2 or 4 years older than Tenko, Hana has the wisdom that becomes the first-born, elder sister- she displays incredible emotional intelligence and understands her family dynamics well, probably from past experience. She knows that their Father would get mad at her if she openly declares her intentions to become a part of the Hero-Sibling duo with her younger brother, so instead she tells him that he wants to become a housewife like her mother - a very tactical answer indeed. I suggest so, because in turn it again subtly hints at how fearsone the Father's temper can be, which in fact gets so bad at times that Hana does not take any chances of tempting this ire by suggesting any profession other than that of a Hero. Saying 'housewife' is safe. It keeps her in the clear. From this itself, we can interpret that she values her self-preservation, and is prepared to bend her morality for it

But exactly how far will she go to protect herself? We get that answer very soon-

To evade punishment from the Father, Hana, makes Tenko the scapegoat by suggesting that he was the one who roped her into commiting what was forbidden. It put majority of the blame on Tenko's poor shoulders. Was it cruel of her? Yes. Dud she want to do it? No. Why would she do something so cruel to him if she didnt want to see Tenko hurt then?

The answer is simple-

Hana probably did not think things your escalate so far. Yeah, she probably imagined her Father would be incredibly pissed and take it out on Tenko, but she didn't think it would go down the road of physical violence. What she did was not right, absolutely not. But can we really blame her for it? This is a child, we are talking about. By nature children are afraid to enrage authority, and Hana is no different. She was self-centered in what she did. But did she lie? Not really. Her wording might seem to the Father that it was completely Tenko's idea, but 'he wanted to see it', is not a lie. It's straight-forward. Tenko did want to see the photograph once he was told about it.

From what we have ascertained to be the common vein in all the members and how they have each failed Tenko in their own way is the Father. Either they are sympathetic of his past or afraid of his temper- the later being more prevalent and pronounced in it's effects. Tenko too, at some premature level, understands that all this happens because of his Father's Authority. Thus comes the second idea which was repeated twice-

"The house that my Father built"/ "This house was the one my Father built"

This line is always mentioned in conjunction to Tenko's punishments and can be said that Shigaraki considers his Home a Punishment in itself too.

This idea is reinforced with this simple statement.

"It only itches at home"

The implications of this are perhaps more grave. This instance mentioned is by no means Tenko's first punishment. Tenko has gone through enough of them to have come to anticipate the emotional pain (and on one instance, physical) with every misdemeanour he commits. The cycle goes from his Dream to a Misdeed, to Home, to Punishment to Pain. It's a water-tight assembly line. No surprise why Tenko would come to think of his Dream as a Source of Pain later on. But at this point in his childhood we see how the flowchart cements the aspect of Home = Punishment.

We know (or at least conjecture) that the dermatitis that affects Shigaraki might be a side effect of his quirk as it has begun at such a young age. With that logic, it isn't a leap to say that since his quirk's effects Only at his Home (his source of Pain), it is a Protective Response. Shigaraki's quirk is Decay. It activates to Decay noxious stimuli - like pain. Like his Home.

(Please excuse the horrible squiggly lines)

Why does this happen sting occur then?

Instinct. Quirks are physical abilities which heavily relies on instinct - which explains why Bakugou is so flawless in his control, he is 'pure instinct'; or why All Might had very little difficulty is mastering OfA - the answer is Instinct. In Tenko's case, it is the instinct to Protect Himself. Because right after he throws the ball and looks at his hand, his Father storms in with a brutal intent. That Sting is his Quirk telling him to Protect Himself. It isn't dog hair, or some indoor allergen that makes him hurt. He hurts because pain is the most powerful noxious stimuli that can incite a protective response.

It has a psychological as well as a physiological effect on Tenko. He hurts because he expects it. It's his body's way of telling him that 'If you dont use your quirk now- you'll hurt even more".

After the Father has hit Tenko. A new emotion takes the position of 'stimulant' for his quirk and that is

Hatred

In here, Tenko throws a ball for the Dog and immediately after he feels a sting. At first it seems as if it might actually be from the Dog. But it doesn't make sense. Tenko says that it gets worse only inside the House, not outside it. Yet in this one instance, he feels a particularly violent sting not just outside the house, but also AFTER he as stopped touching the Dog. It isn't the post-monsoon moisture either which is making him hurt, his narration doesn't really serve as a clue as to what causes his allergy, it simply lends the vividness with which Shigaraki remembers this important moment in his life.

Another thing to notice. Shigaraki never once says "This is the Home my Father built"

He says House. Shigaraki has deliberately used House here, because he doesnt feel any familial warmth from this place anymore, and hasn't for a while now. Instead what he feels from this 'House' is pain and denial.

I am gonna break character here just to scream about this part. (*takes deep breath*)

Okay...

Children-

Not Child. But CHILDREN. PLURAL. FUCKING PLURAL.

NANA SHIMURA HAD MORE THAN ONE CHILD.

Koutarou is not her only child!! She has another child!!! And any fucking guesses who?

MIDORIYA INKO

Both All Might and Izuku have agreed (indirectly at the very least) that Midoriya Inko has a likeness to Shimura Nana. SHIGARAKI AND IZUKU ARE COUSINS. I REPEAT. THEY. ARE. COUSINS!!

I don't give a fuck if this doesn't turn out to be canon. The manga reader can give me documented fucking proof and say it to my goddamn face that Shigaraki and Izuku are not cousins, Dabi is not a Todoroki, Inko didn't accidentally marry the biggest baddest evil legend of Quirk Era. I am gonna spit at their faces if they dare to feed that horseshit to me after THIS level of FORESHADOWING.

((Edit: Some Corrections and more Useless TRIVIA ABOUT CONNECTING SHIMURA KOUTAROU AND MIDORIYA INKO))

Okay, now to end this shitty long post!!

The Father

We are meant to hate Koutarou. We do hate him - he has imposed the absolute law of his will upon an entire family and terrorizes them with his temper. We should hate him. But then we are given a snippet of his past- A boy whose mom was hardly there for him and his sibling(s?), who left them behind to fight some evil guy without choosing her family and ultimately choose her duty as a hero over her family. But despite having this animosity towards his mother, Koutarou wishes that Nana had hated him, instead of loved him so much. He says so because then it woukd have been easier for Koutarou to whole-heartedly hate his mother for leaving them behind. But she truly, selflessly loved him - he understands that and still doesn't forgive her, because he wanted her to selfishly choose her family above everything else. Her absence has left a hole in his life that he cannot fill with hatred, nor with love - he is caught in this infuriating middle where he laments his short temper against Tenko, but also fears that his own child might be ripped away from his family again because of Tenko's dream. Heroics has taken the most important things from Koutarou's life and he doesn't want to see it happen again- he is prepared to go to any lengths to prevent that from happening. But he acknowledges that violence was a step too far. He blames his mother for his insecurities and fears of losing his family again.

In fact, Koutarou's desire for a complete family is so immense that he solely bought that two-family house for the exact reason he could invite his in-laws. He even calls them 'Mother' and 'Father' directly, as if they were his own. It doesn't fill that gaping hole in his heart that yearns for Nana, but it's atleast something.

Koutarou is not a good person. He is not meant to be, he is supposed to be relatable like so many bad guys in the manga - Everyone is a Hero in their own lives, everyone believes what they do is (if not right, then) for the better.

Fear drives Koutarou to extreme actions and cruelty. And I am convinced that whatever Tenko will have to suffer in the future due to his father will also be a byproduct of his immense fear of losing his family.

Does this imply that Tenko hates his Father?

Paradoxically, no. Although Tenko says he Hates everyone it isn't so for Shigaraki. Shigaraki keeps the 'Father' hand closest to Himself. Even when Bakugou knocked out the 'Father' hand, that itself was enough to spike Shigaraki's temper. He didn't have any recollection of his family then, but he still held on to it. Shigaraki, much like Koutarou himself, doesn't hate their parent - but is lodged in an in-between. For Shigaraki he is seeking his Father's approval even when he is long gone, he is carrying forward the misinterpretted hatred of Heroes by being a Villain set out to destroy everything. Out of everyone in the Shimura Family, Shigaraki constantly keeps craving the acceptance of one Adult Figure, and whose acceptance would mean the most? Obviously the one who held most Authority, whose opinion matters most. His Father.

Tenko may have decayed his family's everything but their hands. We know from previous chapters that he might have been handled with other equipment instead of direct skin contact because his family members were afraid of his power. But, instinctively again, Tenko wanted their physical contact so dearly that his quirk ended up decaying everything But their hands.

The Hands were the only things left because Tenko's power couldn't bring itself to destroy his last chance of physical contact with his family.

[yellowbluemoonshine]

Shimura Family (Observation)

I want to talk about Shimura family, ( maybe a little about their personalities), perspectives and their relationships. i just feel like needed to explain.

(well its not canon, its just my observation.)

Koutaro:

he was a normal kid, basically no different from kota (or maybe bakugou or todoroki or maybe even endeavour but not that far.)

he had a good relationship with Nana but Nana left him to save the world. think about from Koutaro s perspective. whatever reason is he abadoned him. it doesnt matter for world or not. his mother, it was his mother, she had to chose him. this is how Koutaro feel. well, which is understandable. every kid feel like that. What Nana did was wrong, whatever reason is. its not weird that koutaro hated heroes.

Koutaro had a foster family. we have no idea what happenned. but looks like after all these years, koutaro still couldnt handle his trauma. Koutaro is the type who is bond of his family too much. he was living with his daughter in parents. this means he doesnt call them or they probably died.

Koutaro is really strict with rules. he is very cold, distant but not a bad guy. he is similar to shoujo manga's boy protagonist. Koutaro was traumatized. he is hardworking and succesfull man. he must really worked hard to have that house.

well, Koutaro is the type who really cares about family, just like Kota so i dont believe he ever abused his wife or his grandparents. i think its opposite. he has a really good relationship with them. Tenko s mom s parents probably knew koutaro s painfull childhood. thats why they probably support him and became his family. i believe koutaro s wife and her parents became his family and really support him.

koutaro had a close relationship with them, thats why he was completely ok with living with them. he even made a house to live with them. he loved his wife and her parents. also his wife and her parents love koutaro too.

now, his wife and her parents knew koutaro s past so they didnt talk about heroes to not make sad koutaro. but children are different case. they dont know their father s story and they are children, you know. hero society and children, young kids have an admiration to heroes, its a normal thing.

well, now. koutaro never hit them. the day tenko s quirk activated was the first time he used violence. before then, he never hit them. but when they talked about heroes, he scold them.

koutaro is not a bad guy but he is not a good father, unfortunately. maybe its because he never had a father before. he felt warm family thing after all these years and he cant loose them. koutaro was really afraid of loosing them. heroes are risking their lifes to save others. all koutaro wants is not loosing his family. this is all he wants. just his way is wrong. and let me add this. his actions might be understandble but definitely not excusable. what he did to Tenko is definitely horrible.

the biggest and the most horrible thing koutaro did is how he treat to his kids, mostly to tenko. (i will explain it in tenko part)

Hana:

she had a close realtionship with tenko and especially her mother. i dont think that hana was scolded many times like tenko had. big posibility, tenko was the first person who talked about heroes in that house. hana probably saw what happenned to tenko and she became more carefull about this subject. she probably was scolded too but i dont think she had a punishment like tenko had. she had a courage to go in to father s room and she didnt feel stress like tenko did. shortly it doesnt look like it.

then what happenned? i think hana saw many times that his brother had a punishment cause of hero subject. she obviously couldnt do anything since she is just a child. she didnt understand why her father acted like that. thats why she simply support his brother. but hana also wanted to be a hero, then why she didnt get punishment like her brother? i think after seeing tenko like that and you know, she couldnt understand her father s actions, she didnt care how her father think about this.

i think hana didnt like her father cause how he was so mean to them for no reason. actually more like, she just didnt mind or care that much. at least, this is what hana thought. hana didnt accept her father s actions, thats why she was probably distant to her father and closer to her mother and grandparents.and thats why she never need to feel guilty about anything. . this is why hana wasnt affected that much like tenko. cause tenko was blaming himself while hana knew that who should be blamed about it. she knew that her father is wrong. thats why she didnt mind that much. she didnt blame herself like tenko did.

and she probably didnt into heroes that much like her brother. of course she liked heroes too like every kid. but i think his brother loved heroes much more, compared to hana. this is how hana still had a strong personality. yeah, she had and the reason is: to be able to see the things as they are.

(well she ignored koutaro s perspective though but at least she know what he did was wrong and thanks to her mother s support, it didnt affect her that much, while it completely destroyed tenko.)

she probably saw everything, unlike tenko. she saw her father did hurt tenko. she understood that tenko didnt do anything wrong and his father is wrong. she saw her grandparents and her mother s couldnt do anything about it. she also saw tenko s pain. but she was a child. so thats it. thats why, only thing she could was support her brother. well, she didnt take tenko s condition that serously since she was just a child. she didnt mind that much. she saw everything but well maybe not everything.not that much. but at least she was able to understand who is wrong here.

and that day, i dont believe koutaro did hit hana. she was probably got scold and it made her scared so much which is normal. she was hugging her mother and to not get hurt, she lied. hana lied to not get hurt by koutaro and again like always. she did the same thing like before but this time what she did hurt her brother. she had no idea what she started. after then she apologised but it was too late since her brother s quirk activated cause of the stress he had been through.

well, she had no idea what happenned. after seeing monchan like that, she simply ran away cause she was too scared. i think at that moment only thing she thought was running away. she didnt think like “i will leave my brother like that” or “what will happen to my brother, if i run away”. she was just scared and didnt even think about it. she simply ran away.

EXTRA about Hana: horikoshi doesnt give character s name, if it doesnt important that much. we got koutaro cause his existence is important, not just for tenko s story, also for this story. to show that what happens to hero s family and how they feel. but hana s existence is not important for the story. why we got her name? why author said how he had a close relationship with her brother. these informations were unnecessary for this story. i think hana is probably alive (maybe thanks to her quirk, she survived) or something about her will affect tenko again.

Tenko s mom:

She loved her husband and she probably did support koutaro with her family. she knew how much he was hurt about it thats why she was supportive to her husband with her parents. but she is also aware of that how kids were sad about this. she was worried about them, especially for tenko. cause her support did work on hana but it didnt work on tenko. tenko just couldnt hold his hero love inside of him and he was punished constantly by his father. tenko s mom knew how much tenko was sad about it. btw i dont think she know what is his son s allergy.

she knew why her husband acted like that. she knew that koutaro cared about his kids too, unlike Hana. she knew he did all that to not loose them. thats why she didnt do anything about it. she probably didnt want tenko to hate from his father. she was worried about them so much but she did nothing cause it wasnt a “big deal” until that day.

the first time koutaro used violence. she couldnt protect her son cause hana was holding to her. after that violence, tenko s mom decided that koutaro crossed the line. she cant let this anymore. koutaro also agreed with that. they crossed the line but it was too late.

tenko s mom was the only person who tried to help her son. its because that she knew how much hard it is for tenko. she saw tenko s pain and couldnt do anything about it for a long time. and even seeing her son s activating or maybe she even saw her daughter and dog are dead but she knew that tenko wasnt doing that on purpose.

maybe thats why his mother s hands are the ones choking his neck. cause her help made him feel more remorse.

his mother knew that tenko is also victim too. thats why she didnt hesitate for even one moment to trying to save her son. cause only thing she knew is that her son needed help. but it was too late, unfortunately.

Tenko s Grandparents:

Just like Tenko s mom, they knew koutaro s story and they probably feel gratefull about how koutaro take care of them. koutaro basically made a house for them, because he sees them as his family. they must feel really gratefull about it. and you know, they probably knew his story.

only thing they did was cheering him. cause its not like a “big deal”, also probably they didnt want tenko to hate from his father. they saw tenko is sad about it but i dont think they understand tenko s pain like their daughter. they loved koutaro and also their grandson. i dont think they did take this case seriously. well, in past time “abusing a child is raising”, this is what people who lived in old times believed. so maybe thats why they didnt take this case seriously. they just watched and they died just like that. they didnt understand how much important this for tenko.

i heard this from someone else. tenko wanted to hear “you can be a hero” thing from his grandparents, not from his father, sister or mother. just from his grandparents. like you know: if nana, his other grandparent was alive, she would say it for him. which is just an another tragic thing about tenko s story.

Tenko:

Tenko was a kind kid who probably just helped to people. thats probably why he wants to be a hero. cause you know, shigaraki is not the type who cares about fame or money or ambition or these kind of things.

tenko just wanted to be a hero. and it was a normal thing so he simply talk about it. its not like he is doing something wrong, he just want to be a hero. he was a good, obedient kid. its not like he wants to against his father s rules. he would simply accept it without questionning but he probably just couldnt help his hero soul.

he was constantly punished cause of it. he knew that his father would angry at him. but he couldnt hold himself about heroes. he probably loved them too much. but he also feel guilty about it cause his love to heroes made his father angry. unlike hana, tenko emphatize with his father and he justified his father s actions. what koutaro did was wrong but tenko didnt know what to believe.

there is a side of him think that simply loved heroes and “why cant i?”, “its not like i am doing something wrong” and there is also side of him think like “i made my father angry”, “ i must have done something wrong”. he had no idea whats going on. only think he knew is there is something going on here but he just couldnt understand. the reason he was so confused is because of he was trying to think like “my father must had a reason for that”, “maybe i am the one who is wrong here”.

now, i will talk about this punishment. yeah koutaro didnt use a violence until that day but he didnt let tenko to stay at home when tenko did something “wrong”. from outside, it looks like something simple. but no. actually ths is horrible.

cause tenko basically did nothing wrong and got punished for no reason. and its like ”he cant come home because he is not part of this family”. “as long as you love heroes, you cant become part of this family”. but loving heroes is what made tenko who he is, then basically, “as long as, you became who you are, you cant become part of his family” this is what made tenko think. this is basically pyscologic torture.

(we knew that tenko felt a lot of stress at that 🏠, he couldnt be himself, hero. he was constantly being punished for no reason. sometimes we felt pycsical pain cause of stress we have. adults can simply say “i feel pain/stress” but kids can not describe these kind of things, abstract concepts. so shortly tenko cant describe his pain. “it itches” is the way he is saying“i am in pain”.)

in shimura family, no one took this case seriously. but this is how tenko probably felt. he couldnt become who he is. he suffered every moment at home. thats why he felt itchy at house.  tenko s himself even probably didnt even understand his own feelings. he just felt pain and he tried to hold himself. even tenko s himself couldnt get that he needs help.

only thing he knows is his father is angry at him. his mother and grandparents did nothing about it. its like everything is tenko s fault. thats why there is always an unfair feeling, anger inside of tenko which is completely normal. he hold it for a long time. he always endured that pain.

that day, his emotions got exploded and his quirk activated. he may have said “ i hate everything/everyone” but it was a childish hate that everyone would say when they having hard times. when his quirk activates, he couldnt stop that quirk.

a little child cant think “i hate them, i will kill them” at that moment. it was an accident, obviously. you can see tenko was begging for help from his behaviours and only person who saw tenko s pain was his mother. maybe thats why her mother s hands are on his neck. its because his mother made him guilty more than others.

it wasnt his fault but cause of his feelings, that happenned so he couldnt help but feeling guilty even though it wasnt his fault at all. but tenko was blaming himself thats why he apologised from his father like everything happenned is his fault. tenko s feeling guilty also made koutaro think like that. first thing he did was using violence, not helping. he never saw his son as a victim. he probably felt guilty about using violence but still, he always feel guilty after he did really hurt tenko.

he also loved his son and cared about his family. he just didnt want to loose him and he thinks punishment was necessary but he had no idea he lost his kid cause of these punishments. he never understood tenko s pain. and he didnt think that tenko couldnt stop his quirk. he said “stop” like tenko was doing that on purpose.

so basically koutaro s anger made tenko think like tenko is the one who is wrong. cause tenko tried to emphatise with his father, with his abuser. while tenko s feeling guilty made koutaro underestimate tenko s pain. maybe thats why future shigaraki think that “i did that on purpose” “there was no tragedy” since no one treat him as a victim. koutaro and tenko didnt have a chance to understand each other cause of tragedy. well if koutaro tried better, it wouldnt end like that. he caused his own death.

but from tenko s perspective, there is no way tenko could be able to understand his family. he couldnt understand his father s anger since his father only just punished him for being “HIMSELF”. his mother and grandparents did nothing like it was tenko s fault. he had to endure it.

hana supported him but that day, she “betrayed” (left) him like that twice. she lied and she ran away. well tenko probably would forgive first one even though he couldnt understand that she lied cause she was simply scared. but twice, hana ran away like tenko did it on purpose. like tenko is the one who should be scared of. hana maybe didnt do it that on purpose but her actions cause this tragedy a lot.

his grandparent did the same thing. they just stand there like tenko doesnt need help. his father also did that so everything made tenko believed that he is not a victim. which is completely tragic since he is the biggest victim in his story, in this story.

and ignored by other people, also afo s saying to him “yeah you are causing trouble but its not your fault. you just born like that” -_- even though tenko is not trouble, he is just victim who needs help.

and even after destroying his father s hand, we are seeing he is copying his trauma.

he still couldnt get over it, obviously and he had no choice to believe that “i born like that” to run away from guilty feeling but also run away to fact that he is victim who needs help but still ignored by others. tenko never had a chance to understand anything in his life. his condition keeps getting worse. he is being more and more broken which is so tragic. :’/.

(also toga and twice s are not healing but being more broken than before.)

i just wanted to explain every shimura family s perspectives. btw yeah their reasons are understandable but its definitely not excusable. hana was child so i will pass that. his grandparents and mother were worried about tenko but they did nothing. also you know koutaro yeah he was traumatized but it doesnt excise anything. shimura family s biggest mistake was “not taking seriously”. but little things we underestimated might turn a big damage for someone else. not just shimura family, the reason why shigaraki s life was destroyed is cause of “not taking serously”, basically “ignorance”.

well, i think they were good people but they made tenko feel abandoned & they made him feel grave remorse so i cant help but feeling angry to them, just like tenko. even though i understand them, unlike tenko who keep blaming himself. in tenko / shigaraki s story, everybody have understandable reasons (except afo -_-) but it doesnt excuse their actions and i cant help but feeling anger to them especially when i think tenko s all life.

thank you for reading this. sorry for bad eng. see ya! :PPP (its not canon and i might be wrong about somethings too.)

[maddiphicent]

I saw this and I love it so much I decided to participate. Right now imma be using my favorite para, but I'll probably change it. I kinda googled some questions so i could start this easier, but let's go!

Paramay Day one-Intro

1. What is your paras full name?

Lea Marie Ogden/Blomish/Sadler depending on what part of her life you are referring too.

2. How did your para's parents decide on their name?

Lea Marie's dad left before she was born and her mom hated Lea Marie since she was pregnant so she never even picked out a name for the "little parasite." When she was born, her mom spat at the nurse telling her to pick out a name. The nurse chose Lea Marie, after her aunt who just passed.

3. How tall are they?

5'3"

4. What do they look like?

She's of Japanese/Greek decent with dark black hair till shes 17 (and had to kill her brother out of self defense) and her hair turns gray from the trauma of it. Her eyes are deep blue.

5. What is their birthday (month, date, and year)?

February 29th, 1992. Her mom used to tell Lea Marie she was born on a leap year so she could have "less birthdays" then everyone else because no one should be celebrating her birth. After being adopted, her step mom celebrated her birthday on non-leap years on both February 28th and March 1st because it was extra special and needed to be celebrated for 2 whole days!

6. Where were they born?

New Jersey, 25 minute train ride from NYC. I never settled on a town because I dont know much about geography anyway but also because Lea Marie grew up in a town with a lot of gang violence going on. It's the main reason her teachers never cared about her obvious abuse in her house. Everyone showed up with bruises and scars.

7. Where were their grandparents’ born?

Japan! They came over from Japan in the 1940s and changed their last names to a more english sounding one in order to hopefully find a job easier.

8. Where do they live now?

NYC. Lea Marie and her husband Jared are broadway actors.

9. Do they have any medical problems, diseases, injuries?

Because her mom smoked/drank while pregnant, the muscles in Lea Marie's legs and lower back never full formed. As a result she can't walk without assistance. She uses crutches and a wheelchair to get by (depending). She prefers her crutches but a wheelchair is easier in most situations. In the winter she almost exclusively has to use a wheelchair because of how much her legs and back hurts. When she was a kid/teenager it didnt bother her as much but in her adult life it really messes with her.

10. What religion are they, and why?

I guess pagan? Her dad is literally Hermes so she kinda has to believe in the greek gods, but with how much shit her stepbrother and her gave gone through as a result of them she sure as hell doesnt worship them.

11. What kind of house/apartment do they live in?

As a kid, she lived with her grandparents till she was 4. Imagine the most basic of suburban white family homes and that's where she lived. After she lived with her mom in a tiny, very shitty 1 bedroom/1 bathroom home. Lea Marie's "room" was the laundry room where a washer and dryer never even existed because she was too poor. Her bed was a beanbag chair and 2 pillows. After being adopted she moves into her stepparents 3 bedroom/2 bath apartment in NYC where she sleeps in a bed for the very first time in her life.

Now she lives in a one story house, 2 bedroom house in nyc (which I don't think exist but it's my paracosm and I will do whatever the hell I want!). The one bedroom is a regular bedroom while the other is a recording studios for her and her husband to record (mostly covers) in but Lea Marie also writes her own songs and music.

12. Do they have any pets?

Jared is deathly allergic to every animal, so no. But Lea Marie still loves all animals and would love to own a dog, but knows she cant.

13. Are you married? If so, what is your spouse’s name?

As previously mentioned, she is to her husband Jared Sadler (he goes by his middle name but I never actually came up with a first name for him). They've been best friends since they were 8 years old and started dating when they were 16, got married when they were 24. They started dating after they were the lead roles in Legally Blonde for their theater company so I kinda have to add (very cheesily) "if there ever was a perfect couple this one quailfies" because they've never fought once and both are so understanding and patient with each other.

14. What kind of car do they drive?

Lea Marie doesn't drive mostly because shes too scared to do so but also...she lives in NYC so theres no actual point.

15. What was their first job?

She played guitar in Book of Mormon. When people ask what her first show was never never knows if that counts or not. She did that for a year before going on to play Bazzard.

16. What is their dream job?

To play Elphaba in Wicked! She had seen the show 237 times prior to getting the role (because yes she gets the role. She deserves it). Her husband got the role of firero at the same time.

17. What are other facts/stories about them?

Lea Marie's first language was Japanese (which she learned from her grandparents) then sign language (which she learned from Jared's brother in daycare when she was 3), then english (which she became fluent when she was around 8 in because she was in the same class as Jared's brother and often watched the interrupter), and after being claimed by Hermes at camp half blood she was given the gift of tongues (which isnt a thing in the books but it makes sense since Hermes is the god of travel) so she can speak any language that's not Latin.

She had selective mutism until she was 18. She only spoke to people who she actually thought would listen and value her opinion. The most people she talked to at one time was 20. This is because her mom silenced her and didn't allow her to make any noise at home. If she did she would either be hit or locked in her room for days on end. After extensive therapy, she finally started talking to everyone. However she still barely talks as is unless she has to talk. At home she uses mostly sign language to Jared (even though he makes her comfortable to talk). But if you ever get her drunk, she will not stop talking! She will tell you every story ever when she's drunk. Jared loves it because he loves her so much and loves when shes comfortable enough to talk. The only other time she talks more than usual is if shes in a really good mood.

She is adept at pick pocketing and only has been caught once when she was 8 when she stole a $10k watch off a very important, very terrible business man in NYC. She panicked when caught and threw it down a drain. They gave her a choice to go to jail (cause the guy was a terrible person) or join the theater company in her hometown that was created because of all the gang violence to give kids something to do after school (very aware this is not how things work but it's my paracosm). She joined the theater and learned to play the guitar at first just trying not to be seen until Jared begged her to audition. After reminding him she like talking, Jared told her "but it's not you talking! It's the character! You're someone completely different up there. Everyone want to hear what you say!" Lea Marie loved this idea and so she did audition and got the part of little red riding hood in into the woods. She loved plays ever sense because she loved being someone shes not.

Her favorite movie is legally blonde and it was also the only lead role she got in said theater company.

She learned how to do guitar solos on an acoustic guitar when her mom wasnt home because someone told her disabled people cant play the guitar and she wanted to prove them wrong. (She played the electric at the theater).

Her mom works as a manager of the only gas station in town.

She was kicked out of a total of 4 schools. Once when she was 8 for starting a fight, once when she was 10 for finishing a fight, once when she was 14 because she was caught having sex in a janitors closest, and once when she was 15 because she was caught having sex in the boys bathroom. The first 3 were in new jersy in her home town while the last one was in NYC since no school in New Jersey wanted her. Her mom was pissed she had to pick her up so often and when she was kicked out her mom was threatening to kill her. She was so scared she got out of the car and "ran" to her best friends apartment (where she spent most of her time anyway and was pretty much their daughter). Her best friends mom and step dad adopted her a week later (not how things work but in my paracosm because demigods are so dangerous they have a law specifically for them to not be placed in foster care if avoided so as not to cause more trouble).

I think I just dumped a lot but I still might add onto this later. This is so fun and I'm glad this is a thing! I cant wait to read about your paras!

[radioactive-synth]

random oc fact: backstory edition

so a while ago i decided to rewrite Vaughn's backstory (Sole version) and remove the war time from it as it didnt fit him at all. so, there are some facts about his backstory:

more under read more

- he was born on 13 february 2045, his mother being Olivia Zander (pharmacist) and his father, Ryan Hudson-Zander (brigadier-general). other family members he had from his father's side was his uncle, Michael Hudson (major in army, later retired as postman and part time mechanic), and his cousin, Vincent Nathaniel Hudson (later, staff seargeant in the army). from his mother's side, there was an aunt, his grandparents, and other relatives. he never met them, but he talked to them over the phone. Olivia didnt seen her family since they moved back to Cyprus when she got married.

- half greek (from his mom), his first language is greek as his mom taught him ever since he was a baby. 

- was the smartest child in class, the most behaved and always had his homeworks done. didnt had so many friends during his younger years, he was only close to his cousin, Vin.

- his father was the worst thing ever in his life. Ryan loved his wife, but he couldnt stand his son. he never loved him and never missed a chance to yell at him, insult him or even beat him. Olivia didnt knew how her husband was abusing her son cause he was acting nice or ignored his son while she was home. neither Vaughn said anything as he was afraid that if his father leaves them, they wont get by with money. only years later, Vaughn told his mom what really happened, and she blamed herself for his trauma. he told her to stop blaming herself, as he was the one who kept quiet about. 

- when he was 12 yrs old, someone compared him to his father and hated himself for this, and harmed himself by cutting his left cheek, so he can have something his father doesnt. he lied to his mom sayin it was an accident, but told the truth to his cousin. Vin was angry that he hurted himself like that, and suggested him to do something else, like waiting to grow beard and have longer hair and caught in a bun. even today, Vaughn has the same hairstyle.

- money werent enough back then. Olivia was making illegal drugs with her coworkers in the basement of the pharmacy, and Ryan was earning more money with gambling when he was at home.

- even with all the struggles, Vaughn had a good childhood, and was better when his father was away. he never considered Ryan as his dad, but his uncle was the father figure he wanted and needed.

- passionate about medicine, he studied a lot for it, while Olivia supported him, and managed to get into medical school with a paid place earned cause of the high grades. finished in 4 years. started to work as a family doctor at the age of 25, in a small clinic.

- he met Nora at some point as their parents knew each other. her parents worked in administration. he and Nora were good friends.

- he was close to his cousin, like they were brothers, but their relationship started to drift as Vincent joined the army. Vaughn felt that its a very bad idea, even that his father and uncle were in the army too. he was afraid that something bad will happen to Vin, and tried so many times to talk him out of this. but Vin was stubborn.

- they last seen each other when Vaughn was 26 yrs old, when Vin visited him at the clinic, wanting to take a goodbye, and they argued about this. Vaughn wanted to convince him to leave, as the situation was very bad, but his cousin didnt listened again. they parted on bad terms.

- a few weeks later, he receives the news about his father that he was killed in an ambush. he didnt felt anything for that, but he expected that his mom and uncle would be devastated. but then next day, he hears about Vincent that he was killed on the battlefield, and was ruined. he had a bad mental breakdown and couldnt stop crying for hours. neither his mom and uncle were ok after the news.

- they had a funeral for them two, and tried to put a brave face for his mom and his uncle.

- he received from his uncle the Mistress of Mystery, Vin's motorcycle, and a few items from Vin's box, like a photo of him and Vin together, and a letter written to him, in which Vin apologize for his behaviour and says he is proud of hin for choosing to help out people by healing them, and should continue it. he also got his tags, which he still wears them even present time.

- he tried to take care of Michael, but a few weeks later, his uncle dies of heart attack as losing his brother and son was too much for him.

- Vaughn fell more into depression and couldnt work anymore, and only Olivia continued to work. they sold Michael's apartment so they can still have some money to get by.

- Nora heard what happened and checked on Vaughn and Olivia, and wanted to help out Vaughn out of his state. he refused therapy as it was expensive, and barely functioned daily. he felt much worse as only his mom worked for both of them. Nora wanted to help him by talking to her dad and offer Vaughn a better job. he refused. but they started to hang out almost daily, as Olivia told him to get out of the house to start recovering. in one evening, they seem a person falling to the ground, while their partner yelling for help, and Vaughn felt he must help out. he gave the first help for the person until the ambulance arrived, raising the person's chances for survival. Nora was so proud of him and told him he can help more people by accepting the job. he accepted, working at the Medical Bay Center as family doctor.

- 2 years later, he proposed to Nora, and got married. from his mom's side, the family couldnt come from Cyprus, and Olivia was devastated, as she thought that her family will finally meet her son. but Vaughn said that its ok that she is with him now. she lead him to altar.

- Nora's parents bought the house in Sanctuary, and even bought Codsworth. Vaughn and Nora never considered the robot a servant, but as a new family member, and they were talking, playing games, and even they shown affection to him by hugging him. a few years later, they had baby Shaun.

- as Nora's family was privilegied, they got by very fine, they werent affected by the war going out in the streets. Nora was also helping Olivia, so she didnt needed to make drugs anymore. Nora even planned to send Vaughn and Olivia to Cyprus to visit their family, and bought plane tickets for the next summer. it never happened.

- Vaughn didnt actually got an invitation to hold a speech. it was just a normal day. he and his family got a place in the Vault cause of Nora's family who bought a place for them in there when it got built.

- bombs away

- Olivia survived the bombs, and 2 weeks later she got out of her flat with a laser pistol, combat armor and a gas mask from Ryan. she tried to get in the Vault, but she got turned away. she found Codsworth but he was malfunctioning. she went on her own, and found a group of survivors who werent willing to shoot her on sight.

- the rest is history.