#but also i don’t wannaaaaa

[washingtonwhitemarkiplier]

i think i need to make a nsfw twitter before i start getting too bold on tumblr

[weirdoldstans]

putting this in another ask so you can post them separately since the last one was getting pretty long:

yk how i said mullet!stan’s a total brat to old!ford? despite little!stan loving his daddy’s praise, he’s still… stan. he’s totally a bratty little. he’s touching himself without permission (making sure he’s in a situation where he’ll get caught), he’s throwing tantrums, ford tells stan to do something and stan pouts and whines “i don’t wannaaaaa…”

this also means that when stan’s good, ford SHOWERS him with praise and rewards. ford thinks he shouldn’t — sure, it motivates stan to behave, but stan shouldn’t get extra reward for doing the bare minimum!!! that just means he’ll figure out that being naughty means he’ll get extra rewards when he’s good!!!! but when ford looks into stan’s big, brown eyes, glittering with need and happiness, so excited to see what ford thinks… oh my god he can’t help himself how couldn’t he

i also think little!stan would get a nickname. ford is certainly aware of pavlov’s dog, and would love to have a name that he can call stan to send him right into littlespace. plus, “stan” just feels like such a big boy name, and he isn’t a big boy! he’s ford’s little baby! plus, despite what ford thinks, ford’s sentimental as HELL. he wants a special unique name HE gets to call stan, and no one else — hell, the name’s never even been used for stan before, so it’s not like “baby” where stan’s definitely got some exes that called him that.

i think ford would settle on “lee”/“little lee”. i don’t think stan would ever go by lee — he’s just stan. i don’t even think ford would normally call stan that, unless he’s drunk. but, ohhh, it’s such a cute name, perfect for when stan’s little and cute and he goes SO red when ford calls him lee and isn’t that adorable???

i think ford would buy lee a bunch of prince-themed stuff. kings of new jersey, right? plus, lee can get pretty bratty, so it’s only fitting that he’d be spoiled like a prince. maybe ford would even call him “little prince” sometimes — dork. and being called royalty while you’re reduced to acting like a little boy is a wonderful mix of worship and degradation that stan LOVES!!! it’s sweet and sour!

anyways even tho lee is a lil BRAT he’s spoiled rotten and ford loves his baby soooo much ESPECIALLY when he gets super embarrassed about it. “i’m just stating the facts, lee, you are just a little baby. you’re my little baby. there’s no need to get so embarrassed about it, honestly.”

OOOOOH I LOVE IT!!

ford can't help but be soft for his baby!! he's just so cute!! little lee...little prince...wahhh

OHHH stan who's being bratty and resistant towards getting babied and ford sternly says, "lee." and it's not like an INSTANT drop but stan is immediately blushing bc!! that's his baby name!! and he's not a baby!! ...okay maybe for ford he is!!

[escapisttt]

emily complaining because emily needs to complain (fucking love complaining) tw for bodily functions?? idk i don’t really have a good sense of what’s acceptable to say because i’m very open about pretty much everything and i think more people should be but whatever

i’ve shit like three times since dinner why the fuck did i think eating exclusively texas roadhouse rolls was a good idea. carb loading MORON

also extremely gassy? my body sounds like a motor engine startup. i’m supposed to be a pretty princess not a fucking ghoul

i started my period out of nowhere?????? ruined my panties and then my diva cup wouldn’t cooperate so i cried on the toilet.

i can already feel my period acne forming and it’s actually killing me. i feel like a grease ball even though i know i’m not i’m just freaking out.

my bottom teeth are really sensitive for some fucking reason i haven’t worn my retainers in months i know exactly the reason i just don’t wannaaaaa

i have a ten minute speech to prepare for on tuesday that i have not even slightly prepared for but im afraid i wont have time to because apparently tomorrow my mom wants me to help clean the house for thanksgiving. she always gets in this insane cleaning frenzy around holidays and i hate it so fucking much. cleaning stresses me out almost more than anything and being TOLD to do it on top of that makes it even worse. but conversely when things are dirty it also stresses me out beyond belief, the feeling of being gross and the tactile sensation of dirt on my hands/feet actually makes me have panic attacks. like i need to feel clean but i hate cleaning. i hate myself for that

moral of the story is fuck my life rn

[mangoposts]

two things.

hi. i wanna be ur friend so bad but im so shy lmfaooooo.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT84VEHS3/ + call me far fetched but imagine chris with a witch!reader omg.

SABRINA THE TEENAGE WITCH OMFGGGGGGGGGGGG THIS WAS MY SHITTTTTTTTTTTTT

Chris with a girl obsessed with astrology and manifestation or tarot cards or sum …. Brroooooo

🔗

Also, don’t be shy!!!! u can message me whenever u wannaaaaa

[niceboyeds]

I gotta get up for work but like I don't wannaaaaa😩😩😩😩it's cold outside and I'm in pain from my back and also lmaooo my period is here and and and I just don't wanna.

And I'm trying real hard to imagine Uncle Wayne stood at my bedside looking down at me. "Up an' at 'em, kid"

"Nope. Can't make me."

And the GLINT in his eye as he turns and goes to brew some coffee, which makes me get outta bed so damn fast I exacerbate the back discomfort hhhhh and then and then maybe I get an Uncle Wayne Hug ™️ and he's like "me too, kid, me too"

Hhhhh Uncle Wayne accompanying you through everything HASDFGHJKL Eddie is so damn lucky to have someone who loves him so much😭😭😭😭😭

EEERRRIIIII NOOOOO😭😭😭😭 i’m so sorry honey😭🫂����

but HHHHH YOURE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!!!! Uncle Wayne would have a freshly brewed pot of coffee ready for you as soon as you got dressed abs went out to start leaving for the day! he’d have a cup waiting next to the pot waiting for you to pour the delicious coffee into it😫😫😫

i absolutely believe Uncle Wayne makes the absolute best coffee in Hawkins and idc what anyone else thinks— that man knows coffee!!

and saying ‘maybe’ you get an Uncle Wayne Hug™️ PLEASEEEEE THERES NO MAYBE!!! NO QUESTION ABOUT IT!!!!!!! he loves to give you hugs because you love to receive them!!! he loves you and is so so soooo proud of you and all the hard work you do!!

now— scurry along and bundle up! don’t need you getting sick!! make sure you drink water today, not just coffee!!!! and make sure you eat throughout the day! when you take care of yourself and your needs, The Munson’s are extra proud of you! (i say ‘extra’ because they’re proud of you regardless of what you do) 💕💕💕💕🫂🫂🫂🫂

[aetherial-boy]

i also have to pack for the ball and going to see my grandparents later and i don’t wannaaaaa i hate packing

[colorisbyshe]

discovered so many women in my dance class are prolific coleen hoover readers and i’m kinda devastated

also my teacher wants to incorporate partner choreo into the dance and i don’t wannaaaaa

but i still had fun besides The Terrors

everyone at my dance studio is parked terribly so now i’ve parked terribly except i know half of them are going to leave soon as they’ve picked up their kids, so once they leave i’m gonna look uniquely terrible as if i wasn’t just trying by best

[pvtpuma]

Flipped a coin to see if I should say yes or no to being called in, came up as a no, then proceeded to go ahead and say I could come in anyway. Eight hour shift (nine when you add the hour-long wait because single car household and we both work). It is almost five in the morning and my shift starts at nine. Need to be up at seven to get ready. Been having trouble sleeping the last couple nights, and tonight is no exception (obviously, as I’m up so late/early). I should have just followed the coin’s decision. The whole point of the coin flip is to obey the outcome.

[houseaegir]

First real day of serious driving tomorrow, wish me l u c k

[claudemblems]

I see everyone's taking about periods and hhhhh mine are supposed to come this week and the wait is killing me, I don't wannaaaaa .·´¯(>▂<)´¯·.

So to bring justice to us all, hcs for the 4 tall genshin ikemens dealing with their s/o's periods ? Bruhhh just thinking about the cramps, hope I won't faint or throw up, cross your fingers for me y'all 🤞🤞

First off I want to say sorry that this is coming to you so late 😭 But I hope that these headcanons will give you a little bit of comfort whenever you find yourself on your period again. I know it sucks and it's super painful, so make sure you get proper rest and take care of yourself <3 Thank you for requesting the Genshin ikemens hehe (also can we talk about how pretty these gifs are, shout out to the wonderful creators that make them for us :3)

Warnings: none, this is just really long lol

Kaeya Alberich

The ideal man. Kaeya treats you like royalty the entire time you’re on your period

If he can, he takes some time off from his knightly duties to tend to you

Extra patient and understanding. He knows that mood swings can get the better of you, and he is fully prepared for the storm that might follow

He won’t let you lift even a finger—if you need something, he’s got it taken care of

Dotes on you more than usual. There’s just something about your pleading gaze that makes him puddy in your hands

He helps you keep track of your period and makes sure you’re all prepped for your next one. He even carries period supplies with him in case of an emergency

He kind of likes when you’re on your period, partly because you’re more cuddly and affectionate and partly because he gets to take care of you

Kaeya also just really appreciates the fact that you trust him enough to keep you safe and comfortable

You don’t have to feel embarrassed at all with him. He will never be disgusted by you being on your period. In fact, he has a lot of respect for you. He knows he’d never be able to handle going through that pain every month

After your period has run its course, he takes you out so you can start to enjoy yourself again

Diluc Ragnvindr

Ah, Diluc...he’s not that well-versed in these menstrual matters

He tries to act like he’s not panicking, but deep down inside, he is

He goes to Jean and Lisa asking for advice on what to do, and he gets a little lesson in women’s anatomy, too

Once he learns about exactly what you go through each month, he’s a little horrified. No wonder you feel so miserable

Will travel all the way to Liyue to get you something to help with the pain if he has to. He’s so incredibly worried about you. It’s kind of strange to see him hover over you with concerned eyes

When you were cuddling with him and you remarked how the warmth from his pyro vision felt so nice on your cramps, he then decided to become your personal heating pad

You’re glued to his side for several days, falling asleep in his arms, his vision relieving some of the pain. His heart swells in his chest when he sees you sleeping so peacefully, and his worries finally start to ease up

His massages are literally heaven. His rough hands combined with the heat from his vision? You never want to leave his touch again

His constant skin-to-skin contact with you over the course of your period leaves him a little needy. Once your period is finally long gone, he’ll brush past his shyness and let you know just how much he’s craving your touch

You suppose your period isn’t all that bad if it gives you a greedy Diluc afterwards

Childe

Childe knows a thing or two about periods since he’s grown up with sisters, so thankfully he’s aware of what he needs to do to help you get through yours

While Childe is extra sweet and loving to you during these times, he’s also much more intimidating than usual to his colleagues (and his enemies). If anyone dares to lay a finger on you while you’re in so much pain...well good luck to them lol

Will happily run to the pharmacy to get you some pain medication, and he does so without an ounce of embarrassment. He sees no reason to feel ashamed getting you things for your period. Besides, your periods are not a sign of weakness but of strength. He’s impressed you can deal with so much pain each month!

Childe tells you stories about his family and Snezhnaya to get your mind off everything. Your head resting on his chest, his hands massaging gently into your aching sides, his presence is so comforting that you often fall asleep

He will spend all the money he needs to get you whatever you want. La Signora might scold him for using the funds allotted to him for “all the wrong reasons”, but there’s no budging him: whatever you want, you get

When he can’t get off from his Fatui duties, he asks Zhongli to watch over you. Setting aside the fact that he and La Signora took his gnosis from him, the two are on good terms. Zhongli is one of the only people in Liyue that Childe trusts enough to leave you in his care

After his work is done, Childe goes straight home to you. Before you even have to ask, he’s making you a warm cup of tea, gathering a hot towel, and tucking you into a giant pile of blankets, asking you if there’s anything else he can do for you

If you just want to cuddle or have him shower you with kisses, he simply can’t refuse such an innocent request~

During these times where he gets to hold you in his arms, he makes sure to remind you of how much he loves you, promising that he’ll always be there whenever you need him

As the saying goes, “You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life. You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice. The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend, the frost will freeze your tongue off so you never lie again.”

Zhongli

While Zhongli has acquired a vast array of knowledge of a variety of things during his time as Morax, he’s not particularly educated in the realm of menstruation

At first he fears something terrible has happened to you when he sees you clutching your sides in agony and how your face is as white as paper

Then you tell him it’s just your period pains and he responds with, “Oh, I see…” but inside he is in panic mode

Tries to help you out the best he can with the limited knowledge he has, but once he gets you a nice cup of tea and has you settled into some warm blankets, he picks up every book he can find on the subject of female anatomy

He reads through them at a pace that isn’t quite human, and by the next morning, he’s using every helpful tip that he’s stored in his mind to get you feeling okay again

Sometimes you ask him to just tell you a story of his past or tell you everything about a topic that particularly intrigues him. He’s a little confused by your request, thinking his endless rambling might bore you to death. But when you say you just really like the sound of his voice and that you think it’s cute when he goes off on a tangent, he will gladly oblige (and you can’t help but notice the blush dusting his cheeks <3)

Zhongli is extremely protective of you during this time as shown through his actions. One hand is always holding yours or is pressed to the small of your back, his fingers tracing up and down your skin, reminding you that he’s right there should you need him

He has a hard time watching you endure so much pain. If you’re comfortable with the idea, he suggests taking a trip to Bubu Pharmacy to see if Baizhu can give you something to help with your periods

Zhongli will move heaven and earth for you. He quite simply adores you, and he will make sure you never forget it. So when you’re back to feeling better, you can see the relief clearly in his eyes. He’s just happy to see you smiling once more

[limerinseme]

HOW IS THIS FANDOM SO TINY ??! send help they only have like 14(?) fics on ao3 and no fan accs anywhere esp any that are active and they have like a pretty similar amount of monthly listeners on spotify as parx what is going on ??

long badflower rant below the cut:

also when josh katz is actually like fully and continuously a slut like hello ?? dont hate me mv ??! HEROIN MV ?!!!

someone send help i’m so stuck rn and only 2 days in(spontaneously finally listened thru okay i’m sick for the first time and is was like SOOOOO FUCMING GOOD and my brain was just like. this. this is now a thing.) the smallest fandoms i’ve been in are like idkhow and parx and i suffer from the small fandom size even w those !!

i think i may need to resort to fic writing myself but like. im not really about all that. like yes i have done it but in my heart of hearts i just don’t wannaaaaa rn.

i wasn’t built for this idk if i can survive this drought. also their tiny discography. they keep posting ab a new album soonish tho so hopefully maybe that’ll like being in more people.

josh katz. fully slutty twink that is openly pan. sexuality struggle song(we’re in love) the lyric for sex was literally ‘so fucking emasculate me.’ my dream man.

i hate so much that irl and now IN FUCKING CELEBRITY CRUSHES i keep liking/ending up with guys that have anger issues. it’s not sm ab them that i like it just HAPPENS

i have fallen incredibly quickly into a petite badflower phase help me

[myeyesarebrighter]

If I go now, I have time to ride before kids are home.

I also don’t wannaaaaa

[k3rm1e]

hiihi !! ive been loving all the stuuf yoube been wirting latley its so good :^D i ws wondering if i ciuld have some hcs ,or just a onrshot either or i dont mind, of reader geeting sick and mumza nd dadza take care of them ?? bc i lovr mr and mrs minecraft <33 liek like reader like "ahh im finr mr minecraft" and they have 102° fever Nd have a runny nose and mr minecatft is liek "mmm no i dont thnik so m8" nd yaeh !! they/them pronouns but i thnk uve benn doing that arleady - :^) anon

sickly

hiihi !! ive been loving all the stuuf yoube been wirting latley its so good :^D i ws wondering if i ciuld have some hcs ,or just a onrshot either or i dont mind, of reader geeting sick and mumza nd dadza take care of them ?? bc i lovr mr and mrs minecraft <33 liek like reader like "ahh im finr mr minecraft" and they have 102° fever Nd have a runny nose and mr minecatft is liek "mmm no i dont thnik so m8" nd yaeh !! they/them pronouns but i thnk uve benn doing that arleady - :^) anon

:^) anon my beloved;;;;; i love your brain. this could go two ways depending on whether you’re staying with phil or if you guys are online so i went with your staying with him. i also did a one shot but if you want hcs i hv no problem writing some :) i hope this is good!

cw: cursing

mumza and dadza take care of you:

  it had finally happened. while covid wasn't fully over just yet, many had gotten the vaccine and conventions were opening up again. which meant two things: meetups and twitchcon. finally, you could meet some of your supporters and see your friends.

  “mom, are we almost there?” your mom was driving you to the airbnb you’d be staying at with a few of the other dream smp members. at first, you assumed you’d all be staying in separate hotel rooms. but, this way, you could spend more time with friends, save money, and your mom wouldn’t have to be with you the whole time. there had already been many long conversations between philza and your mom to make sure you’d be safe staying with everyone.

  “yes, sweetie. almost there. we’re just two minutes closter than when you asked earlier.” ok, sue you, maybe you were a bit excited. but really, who could blame you? making in person friends had never been easiest, so the majority of your friendship were with people online. not being able to see or meet anyone for so long had been excruciatingly painful. 

  within ten minutes, you had finally arrived at the airbnb. quickly jumping out you ran to the door, obnoxiously ringing the doorbell. through the door, you heard an accented voice yell out, “i’m coming, i’m coming!”. at this point you were springing up and down on your tippy-toes, ready to spring out of your skin.

  the door opened and you were greeted by a very tired and annoyed looking wilbur, “hello?”.

`   “WILBURRRR!!!” you were screaming in his face (unintentionally), waking him up from his drowsiness. you launched yourself in his arms, not paying attention to your mother’s bewildered expression. you quickly let go of him and shoved past him, “i’m gonna go say hi to everyone!” distantly you heard wilbur begin to talk to your mother, explaining what you guys were doing.

  while running around you said hi to tommy, tubbo, ranboo, eret, fundy, niki, techno, phil and kristin. the others were either staying in another airbnb or in their own hotel rooms. after about thirty minutes, wilbur had finally stopped talking to your mom.

  “yes, ma’am. i can promise you they’ll be completely safe. you have absolutely nothing to worry about.” wilbur was calmly talking with your mother, looking more and more tired by the minute.

  “alright. thank you.” your mother called you over. “come give me a hug and say bye!” slowly dragging your limbs over, you let her hug you. behind you you could hear wilbur and phil laughing at you.

  “bye mom…” she was holding onto you tightly, petting down your hair.

  “oh, sweetie, i love you so much. i’m so happy you found something you're passionate about and made so many lovely friends while doing so.” as much as you loved your mom, the small snickers behind you were getting quite embarrassing. you could hear that tommy had joined in on the laughing. 

  “... i love you too, mom. can you let go now?” you tried pulling back, but all she did was pull you closer.

  “oh, but i just don’t wanna let you go. i love you so much, you know that right?”

  “i know, mom. i love you too. but you’ve gotta get home and i have to unpack and get ready for meeting with fans tomorrow.” you finally got her to pull away, “i love you mom, okay? thank you for letting me do this.”

  “oh, i love you too, sweetie.” and with that, your mom left. after watching her pull out of the driveway and down the street, you whipped around.

  “not. a. single. word.” you stared dead in the boy’s eyes, seeing just how much wilbur was about to burst out laughing.

  “what? personally, i think it’s very sweet.” tommy was smiling, purposely pissing you off. “so sweet, how much your mom loves you.”

  “shut your fucking mouth, tommy.” you stared deadpan at him and began walking inside and over to the kitchen.

  “what? i didn’t say anything wrong! i was just simply commenting on your very, very sweet relationship with your mother.”

  kristin moved forward to talk to you, “for what it’s worth, i do thing you hae a very sweet relationship with your mom.”

  “thank you. you’re the only good one in this house, kristin minecraft.” with that she laughed, and you all continued on with your evening. after staying up late watching old youtube videos, you all went to bed. in the morning you would have your first day of three at twitchcon, meeting fans and other creators alike. 

  for around 10 hours, you stood in booths signing fanart, prints, notebooks, and the like. meeting so many different people was eye opening, just learning who supported you. at the end of the day everyone went to a restaurant to eat dinner after so long.

  “this food… is so… fucking good.”

  “agreed.” you and the rest of the so-called ‘bench trio’ were eating at what wilbur had deemed the ‘kiddy table’. after eating so much food you were all tired. the rest of your friends had already left, walking back to the airbnb. when it was finally time to leave the restaurant, it was pouring rain.

  “WHY IS THE RAIN SO COLD IT’S LITERALLY SUMMER”

  after running home you had gone to sleep while the others had changed and taken showers. after sleeping for around ten hours, you had finally woken up. frankly, you felt like dogshit. you could barely breathe out of your stuffy nose and your head felt like it had been shoved full of wet cotton balls.

  instead of staying in bed, you got up and tried to get ready. on the way downstairs to get food and see who was making so much noise, you fell face first down the stairs. “owwwww…”

  hearing a ruckus, phil and kristin left the kitchen, where they were making pancakes. “holy shit! are you alright, mate?”

  pushing phil over, kristin walked over to you, “obviously they’re not okay phil! the poor kid is lying on the floor.”

  slowly getting up, you try to reassure both of them that you’re okay. “no, no, no, don’t worry. i am perfectly okay.” while you don’t know exactly how you sound, based on the expression on phil’s face, you don't think you sound very good.

  “uh, yeah, how about no. you sound like you’ve draken a whale bottle of vodka.” phil walked over to you and grabbed you by the arm, trying to hold you up.

  “i’m fineeee”

  “no, your fucking not. you’re burning up.” phil looked at you, angrily. “you need to go to bed.”

  “but i don’t wannaaaaa. i feel fineeee.” you felt like crying, for absolutely no reason. with that, you passed out on the floor.

  phil and kristin somehow managed to get you back up the stairs and into bed. once you were safely in your room, with no risk of cracking your skull open, phil took your temperature. “mate, your temperature is at nearly 102°. you’re lucky i don’t take you to a hospital.” he started at you, disapprovingly.

  “i’m sorryyyyy dadza. are you mad at me?” in your deluded state you pouted at him, like a child.

  “no, i’m not mad at you. just disappointed. you should’ve known not to do that. you’re old enough to know when you’re sick.” he stared at you with a disapproving look.

  “but that’s even worseeeeee” you felt like balling your eyes out. out of embarrassment, you tried to hide under your blanket. “can you tell mumza i’m sorry for worrying her?”

  above you, you heard phil laugh. “it’s not that big a deal, kid. i’m just upset. you could’ve seriously hurt yourself. i was worried.”

  “you were worried about me? awwwww, i love you too dadza.” you moved your head out of the blankets, smiling at him with dried tears and sweat on your face.

  “yeah, yeah. now shut up and go to bed.”

  kristin walked in, hearing what he said. “phil, don’t bully the kid. they already feel like shit.” out of the corner of your eye, you saw her look over to phil and smile at him.

  “i’m not doing anything, swear on my life!” he put his hands up in defense of himself, making you laugh.

  turning away from him, she directed her next question towards you. “how you feeling, kid? took quite a tumble there.” she smiled at you and ushed your hair out of your face.

  “i’m sorry for worrying youuuuuu. i love you, mumza. promise.”

  laughing, she leaned down to kiss you on the head. “love you too, kid. now, want me to sit with you and we can all watch some netflix or something?”

  you silently nodded and the two of them joined you on the bed, not caring very much if they got sick. after not even an hour, you all passed out.

  a few hours later, everyone returned back from the convention. let’s just say wilbur now had some very valuable blackmail.

hope you like it! this was so wholesome i- wfowcsjvri

i want parents like dadza and mumza now

[akronus-the-redeemed]

But I don’t wannaaaaa, also I’ve practically memorised the characters I actually like because I keep on thinking of new scenarios.

Help me, The character ideas are going brrrrrrrr

go onnn

[someone1348]

This one was requested by @miinkiiyo

People in this: Ler!Tommyinit, Lee!Tubbo

(Clingyduo our beloved!)

(PLATONIC ONLYYYYY!)

With Prompt #4, "I-think- I think I'm stuck..."

Tw: mild cursing! But that's it the rest is soft!

With all that being said enjoyyyy :]

___________~☆°♡°☆°♡°☆~______________

Tommy this isn't funny!

"But i don't want tooo" Tubbo whined to Tommy as he had been asked to go and grab materials from the mines.

"Come on Tubbo we need supplies and as the leader when Wilbur isn't around i request materials for this great nation" Tommy saluted the smaller one as Tubbo huffed

"Why can't you do it yourself?"

"Because i need to help Fundy prepare potions, you won't be there for long and I'll come check on you when i finish i promise!" Tommy gave his best friend a big smile and a pat on the back to which Tubbo smiled back

"Fineeee" he giggled a bit, he could never stay mad at Tommy.

Walking down into the mines he kept his torch handy,

"Ugh its so dark down here" he searched a bit "yes! Iron!" He placed the torch down on the stone wall next to him taking out his pickaxe mining away.

"Maybe when Tommy gets here we can go to the nether, no way am i going alone" he spoke out loud to himself smiling as he went back to work.

Mining away a small tunnel he got multiple stacks of coblestone, iron, and more he was tired and had a streak of coal across his cheek

"Ughhhhhh i dont wannaaaaa" he complained sliding down one of the sides of the tunnel he had created.

"Boop boop" he played with a rock to his left "man this is so boringg humph!-" he threw the rock against the wall, "hmmm" he searched through his inventory looking for things to do,

"Ooooo! Thats perfect!" He got the materials together and continued digging he built stairs going down into a small room to hold his teammates, he was making it as a plan C in case things go south, crafting a couple of pistons and a hidden stone pressure plate he created the secret doorway to the area.

"I'll make another one later!"

He was excited to tell Tommy and the others about it, Tommy first though, it could be their little escape room together to go and hide and just be alone, he could finally have something to call theirs!

He's always wanted a secret place just for the two of them, ever since Phil told them the stories of a place like that, a place of their own, as kids.

"Okayy! Just a few more touch up's and we will be set!" He was going to go back and work on the interior soon just wanted to get the doors working first,

He stepped on the pressure plate and was about to go through before they closed wrapping around his wrists and trapping his ankles,

"Uh oh,,"

He was stuck, no matter how much he moved he couldn't budge, that's when he heard it.

"TUBBOO!" his best friend called out for him from the mines

'Double uh oh!' He thought already feeling embarrassed.

"TOMMY! HELP ME!!" He yelled out as Tommy rushed towards the sound.

"TUBBO! t-" the blonde blinked a few times examining the situation the brunette had gotten himself into before bursting out laughing "BAHAHA TUHUHUBOO WHAT THE HELL?! H-HOHOW?"

Tubbo Growled "Tommyy!" He whined "This isn't funny! Help mee! I-think- I think I'm stuck..."

Tommy slowed his laughter down to giggles "Oh how the tables have turned!"

Tubbo gulped the light pink glow spreading to his cheeks,

"Do you remember what you did when I got stuck in between pistons?~" He poked his own chest slowly walking forward towards him emphasizing the 'I' when he spoke.

Tubbo bit his lip trying to hold back the nervous giggles as his best friend stepped closer and closer to him.

"T-Tommy! Plehease you d-dont have to do this, w-we can talk about this, yea?"

Soon enough the blonde was right in front of him smirking

"Sure tubbo we can talk about this!" He smiled as tubbo looked at him with hope in his eyes

"Really?"

"Nope!" He smirked once more pushing his hands forward tickling under the bee lovers arms.

"AHH! NOHOHOHOHO WAIT! TOMMYY!" He Twisted his head side to side trying to escape,

"Let UP! THIhiIs isN'T FaiR!!! HAHA!" Tubbo yelled through his laughter

"Oh it's so fair my friend" Tommy giggled moving his wiggly fingers down to his ribs

"Eep hehe tOhohomMY!"

"Yes Tubbo?~" The blonde giggled making sure to glide upon each ticklish bone

"DAHA hEEhey! COme onN!" Tubbo whined his face flushed, this is torture! He joked in his head a bit, its embarrassing more like it!

"Whats wrong Tubso? Can't handle what you dish out?~" Tommy's smirk grew moving his hands closer inwards

"DON'T TOMMY!"

"Or what big man?~"

"Dohoho it and im so getting you back!"

"Karma's a bitch my friend HAHAHA!" Tommy evilly laughed moving his hands down and under his shirt to tickle his stomach,

"NAHAHAHAAHA FUHUHUCK TOHOHOHOMMY!! NOT FAHAHAHAIR! EEP!!" Tubbo threw his head side to side going into hysterics, his bangs covering his embarrassed red face.

"Hehe No this is fair, this!" Tommy emphasized getting down to his knees "this would be unfair~" he took a deep breath blowing a raspberry directly on his bellybutton

"TOMMY N-AHHAHAHAHA NOHOHOHOHO PLEAHAHAHASE BLUHUHUHULE! TOMMYYYY!!!"

Tommy immediately backed off helping to rub away the ghost tickles

"Im sorry mate did i go to far?" He got up rubbing the back of his neck

"Nahaha it's all good mate!"

"Okay good!"

"Can you help me out of this though now?"

"Oh yeah right!" He stepped on the pressure plate as tubbo got unstuck falling to the ground.

"You alright?" Tommy scrambled helping him up, "yeah yeah im good!" The two giggled standing up.

"What even is this place?" Tommy asked looking around

"I made it as a plan C for tomorrow but also for us as a cool secret hide out! Whenever we wanted!"

Tommy smiled and sat down "i love it"

"Same"

The scilence was comfortable untill

"Oh and Toms?"

"Yea?"

"Revenge is sweet~" he Pounced onto his best friend going immediately for his stomach,

"TUHUHUBBO!!!"

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I hope you enjoyed!! I'm so sorry this took forever to get out! The rest are on the way but enjoyy! :]

[artemisfowlcodex]

My sister’s directly transcribed notes, taken while watching the Artemis Fowl movie...

(Absolutely no editing for grammar has been done, this is raw reaction)

----------------------------

SURFBOARD???? Wh— WHY IS MY BOY SURFING

 THis is a better start to Percy Jackson than the actual Percy Jackson movie There’s no way he’d choose the name Bruce Okay but the accents cute

 And this scene is accurate  Basard boy Absolute baby unlimited

 IS ANGELINE DEAD???????

 Bold of you to think he could lift a backpack SKATEBOARD?????????????? JEANS??????????????????

 At home w his dad yeah as if he was a good dude from the start what He taught him bout fair folk????

 PLEASE stop putting my boy in JEANS JEAAAANNNSS baby boy has a cute as hell nose

 Arty count #1

 sidenote pls don’t call him Artemis jr it’s senior and Artemis that’s it 

What is even happening hmmm

WHY DOES THIS BOY KNOW WHAT PHYSICAL AFFECTION IS  HAH NO I LOVE YOU TOO

 OH MY GOD ANGELINE IS DEAD WHY

why would you kill the person trying to put him in jeans 

The manor is cute as hell tho

LEGO??? Omg robotics

Yeah that sounds about right Hey why aren’t his pjs silk And WHERE IS BUTLER

THERE

WOW THOSE ARE BLUE EYES

NO!!!!!!! You CANT CALL HIM BY HIS FIRST NAME!!!!!!!!

baby drink MILK 

Bold of you to assume Artemis didn’t know his dad was a crime lord

Owl star?? Bruh

 DOM PLS GOD WHY  Never call him butler pfft  Oh my god why is the plot now that the folk have kidnapped him????  WHAT ACULOUS?

 “Word for word”  This boy would and then DOESNT 

 Arty count #2  WHY IS HE STILL IN JEANS how tf is this so different to the book you had 20 YEARS to get it

I vibe w haven tho  Nother sidenote why are mulch’s teef so nice don’t like that

 Hollys suit is kinda cute tho Helmet sucks tbh  I AM VIBIN W HAVEN  Why is mulch a beeg boye  WHY ARE GOBLINS HARRY POTTER SHIT UGLY INSTEAD OF REPTILES  Yep helmets SUCK  Okay yeah this is a cute holly  Fjsjfjsjfjfnsjfj yeah that’s their whole dynamic  Why tf is he going to howlers peak

 WHOMST  WAIT IS THE OTHER ONE FREAKIN OPAL

 hmm okay yeah dench good commander bad root HWAT THE HECK IS THEB ACULLUS the hats are SO BAD  BEEG eyes holly Holly looking for her dad too oh no I smell the bonding already  I wannaaaaa seeeeeeee TROUBLE and chix lol

 STOP CALLING HIM DOMOVOIIIIII OH IS THIS JULIET!? OH SHES CUTE  NEICE??????  TF CUUUUTE  haha encoded too love that 

FOALLLYYYYY OHHHHH LOVE THAT THE skirt güd THAT IS A GOOD FOALY  HE SMOL THO

 ohhhh yeah CUDGEON  so it IS opal

 Wings good IS she shielded??

 DOMOVOI STOP W THST NAME  JEANS WHY  

Yeah this scene right  Fangs aren’t big enough  Too human face hm

 GOOD FOALY THO  THEYRE REALLY USING CENTAUR TO FULL POTENTIAL  THATS NOT HOW TIME STOPS WORK  they’re literally explained in the book how th ehh work what the heckidy heck

RETRIEVAL WOULD HAVE BETTER WAYS TO BRING EM IN  holly no

 Arty count #3

 It IS opal  Thats  That’s not how coords work

 STOP CALLING HIM DOM  keep ur helmet on queen

 Aha HERES the siege  NOT HAPPY SJHFJSJGJSKFJSJFJ

 JEANS 

JULIET OMG  STOP WEARING J E A N S OKAY I LOVE THIS SCENE

 DOM FOR GODS SAKE  I’ll give her a pass tho bc it’s Jules

 SWORD????  Please give me butler beating up retrieval PLEASE I NEED IT

 is it just a Thing™️ to have Dench stare dead into the camera now? First Cats and now this  TOP O THE MORNIN

 J E A N S  HAHA SUIT!!!! SUIIIT AT LONG LAST  Scared to dead hell yeah

 WHO GAVE THIS CHILD A GUN IM??????  THIS IS SUCH A WILD RIDE

god please tell me opal doesn’t actually sound like that and it’s a disguise

 Heheheheh baby boy looks ten  Do Root and I share a bday?  Was that Frond?  STOP calling him jr he’s the SECOND

Mulch I will feed u ur weirdly nice teef  YES FIRE  But also uhhhhh WHERES MY REPTILE REP  YES BUT THAT SCENES FROM LATER BOOKS

 My father was kidnapped! YEAH WELL MY FATHER IS DEAD  AND HERES THE BONDING

 PORTALS???? WAIT HYBRAS????? 

 Oh yeah julius can’t be Julius bc woman  BOWIE A FOLK DJDHFJKS  Damn mulchs eyeliner going off doe  LET HIM UNHINGE HIS JAW! WEIRD DWARF RIGHTS!  Throat INFECTIONGNDJSJFJSJK  Hey quick observation I’m surprised there are NO fart jokes seeing as the book was FILLED w them  YESSSSSS UNHINGEDDDDDD THATS MY BOY!!!! YESSSS UNHINGED RIGHTS 

hacker voice: I’m in Burps??? Wack “Switching to xray and then Does Not”  

Lol nothing to do w the brain  PLEASE PUNCH HIM I WANT THE LEGENDARY LOLLIPOP LINE DWARF HAIR HOLY SHIT  YESSSS YESSSSSS PUNCH

 Oh it’s acorn shaped of COURSE it is  But WHAT is it  IM SORRY W H A T Is the time stop doing??

 CUDGEON YES  OH SICK TROLL TIME TROLL TIME  Darvit wheeeee there it is

 If you like doubled butlers height this would be fine bc I like the taller holly and mulch  2.97 seconds to eat humans fjsjfjsjjf JFJSNFJSJFJ MULCH STEALING THE GUN FROM BUTLER 

 They’re using the troll as a battering ram im crying that’s so dumb  Magic jammers? That’s a thing?  YEET JULIET BEST GIRL  YES MULCH UNHINGED RIGHTS!!  DOM COUNT DOM COUNT  Hmm yeah soundtrack nothing to write home about  DOM COUNT

 I vibe w neutrino design  OH DOM COUNT DOM count DOm count pls stopppppp Whyd you a) move him and b) sit him up  BUDDY????  hey ur not meant to die til book three

 Wh CHIX IS AN ELF??? WHY ISNT HE G R E E N WHYS HE CAPTAIN AINT THAT MEANT TO BE TROUBLE  WINGS ARE MAGIC??  DOM COUNT  Did I cry? Little bit lol love that 

 Oh yeah he runs like he’s never learnt how  Like he’d willingly call someone a friend before book four  Wow yeah that’s defs arctic incident 

 Fjshfjsjjfjdjfjfhfhdhfhdhghh I know it didn’t fail but WHAT IF IT DID  “Dad” wow please go back to calling him Father

 I’ll be real I didn’t view holly as a child actor the whole time lol she’s good  And white ,,, but that’s a different issue

 But also YALL KILLED ANGELINE B ITCH WE WERE ROBBED OF HAVING HIM IN SUITS THE WHOLE MOVIE  oh my god what are you on about  UNHINGED RIGHTS!!!

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And that is the total transcript, in near-unreadable format. 

God help us all.