#but also he’s kinda immortal so I think he can do whatever tf he wants so

[read-write-thrive]

🐀👑🐀🤴🏻🩶🐭💛🐀👑🐀🤴🏻🩶🐭💛🐀👑

Jerry the Rat King content for the enlightened

🐀👑🐀🤴🏻🩶🐭💛🐀👑🐀🤴🏻🩶🐭💛🐀👑

lmk if this format is interesting, I’ve got a Charles one done and an Edwin one in the works too 👀 and here’s the links to the shuffles post and Jerry’s pinterest board in case anyone actually uses those as social media lmao

[caineinthecorner]

Languages (The Others)

★ Based on my language general hcs + the brothers' hcs.

Hi I am sleep deprived. Behold part two of my shitty hc delusions wooooo.

"Caine you missed some" yeah I'm lazy (+ don't know their characterization well enough). If you want to add hcs for the guys I skipped you can but in the meantime I'll go with the basic bitch options

Gentle reminder I make shit up. (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)

★ Solomon.

Okay so like I said with Asmo he knows french (and they're both nasty with it)

Basically he rizzed up Asmo in french

Using the dude he was in based out of he also knows English (native probably), Welsh, German, full-ass Demon Tongue and like some latin for magic bs. Idk

(bcs the guy lived nearby those countries in ye old Europe(tm) and something something immortal so why tf not learn languages while at it)

(also of course he learned demon tongue. He wants to rizz up demons and what better way to do that)

He learned demon tongue from random demons and a lot of trial and error

Plus he knows japanese if we are under the pretense that mc is japanese.

So like Solomon tries to use language rizz to get close to you as the other human student in Devildom. So basically using the Asmo trick with you.

... He's kinda painfully obvious with it

(how tf did Asmodeus fall for this shit?)

If you don't speak any of the languages he is fluent in his ass will ABSOLUTELY pick 'em up and be like "hey I want to learn:)"

He uses language as a tool to get what he wants basically

No wonder him and Asmo get along

If you know a language that is not loquar-translatable and he speaks it as well prepare to get secret-talk'd a lot.

Not having people spying your convos is a incredibly valuable asset in Devildom

Especially since you're around the brothers almost 24/7 and they're fucking VIGILANT

Oh also he 100% knows that Asmo fakes being shit at English.

But he's a simp so 乁⁠(⁠ ⁠•⁠_⁠•⁠  ⁠)⁠ㄏ

★ Luke.

FUNNILY ENOUGH. Two things:

Yes he doesn't need Loquar to communicate with you since he's an angel BUT

For some reason (cough your heritage cough) he keeps messing up in which language speak to you with.

Angel instincts are telling him to just use whatever language with you but the thing is that You Don't Know Whatever Language

Which is odd because that's something he only does with fellow angels????

But you are human so

He doesn't think much of it. He's probably just confused because he's around mean demons! >:T

(His basic subconscious instincts are harder to control since he's low ranking and his Angel brain is going "You = angel = language doesn't matter")

But since he keeps somewhat messing up around you he decides to gesture to hell when talking to you just in case

so you get the gist through his mannerisms in case his words get fucky

His least favorite language ever is Demon Tongue. Even outside of Not Liking Demons he doesn't like how throat-y and intensive it is.

↑ that is a popular Angel opinion btw. Demon Tongue in general is just annoying to use for them and barely any Angels use it outside of in-the-moment communication with Devildom natives.

If you ask him his preferred language he'll say some form of Latin since it's the preferred language of most high ranked angels, as well as Michael's.

But it's actually English.

★ Simeon.

Since he is was a high rank angel, he doesn't mess up what language speak to you with. He has real good control of stuff like that that comes with experience and age.

(in fact he's very confused why Luke keeps messing up so bad around you but doesn't think much of it since Luke is technically still a fledgling)

I already said this but yeah his preferred language is Archaic Latin (shared it with Lucifer pre-fall).

Ever since Lucifer's fall he switched to plain English and that's the answer he'll give you if you ask.

Only Angel that isn't bothered speaking demon tongue and will do so at his own leisure.

If you try to learn the demon language he is unironically so helpful because he isn't a spiteful bitch like Lucifer and actually teaches you shit without throwing you into the wolves

In fact Simeon is amused as hell over the fact that Lucifer is making you learn the hard stuff first. That is so him.

He's like the good cop of the learning dynamic. Cool substitute teacher vibes

Simeon finds accents to be the cutest thing ever since it is an inherently odd concept for someone fluent in Everything Ever

He has (jokingly) cooed over Luci's accent when he speaks Latin nowadays. Lucifer is not at all amused.

★ Barbatos.

He knows every language.

... Yeah that's it that's the list

Look at me dead in the eyes and tell me this motherfucker does not speak Sumerian

Ofc he knows every human language ever. And Devildom's. He knows™.

Funniest thing is that he doesn't even need Loquar to talk to you. He just deadass speaks your language with full fluency and you Never Notice

You only notice one day while having a normal convo with him and then Diavolo walks in speaking full deadass gibberish somehow and you're like ????? and Barbatos says "oh apologies I forgot to apply Loquar to you here you go"

Like deadass he would fuck with you so hard when it comes to languages.

Do not go to this man for language advice he will teach you proper stuff in the most incorrect way possible

(Probably! Or probably not! It depends! On what? Who the fuck knows™!)

He's deadass a roulette of proper, legitimate advice or literal shitposting

He wrote the Voynich manuscript. It was a housekeeping journal he was keeping in a dead Devildom idiom that ended up in the human realm by accident

He didn't retrieve it solely because seeing humans go insane over it was funny as hell and he has a secondary copy anyway. That book has nothing relevant in it besides like two recipes.

He did go to check back on it once to write down a meat pie recipe Diavolo's father liked bcs he didn't have on the copy

Barbatos is the definition of "wtf what language was that" "yes."

He and Lucifer have random days where they just pick a language to speak to each other. It helps to maintain fluency.

Barbatos jumpscared Satan once by going, full ass unprompted mid convo, "Oh right you speak Tagalog."

He knows what languages everyone speaks like a white girl knows zodiac charts

★ Diavolo.

Ok so he probably knows English since it is Solomon's native and humanity's current universal(ish) language

Like of course he wants to communicate with humans! Of course he'll learn their language!!!

Unlike Barbatos and Lucifer who are very impressive Polyglots he's realistic in his language stuff. The more down-to-earth of the three

His English is hilarious

Not particularly because he says things wrong but his accent and tone just makes it sound incredibly funny

He sounds exactly like a dubbed-over superhero doing a friendship monologue At All Times

He is so earnest with it that you don't have the heart to explain why you're laughing

Anyhow fun fact:

Loquar for some reason translates what he says in Demon Tongue the most literal ass sense possible for literally no reason

Which is odd(tm) but mostly just funny as all hell

Everyone has been troubleshooting whatever the fuck happens to Loquar Ad Vos with Diavolo but no idea so far.

The phrase "have you tried unpapplying it and applying it again" has been uttered more than once unironically

The working theory is that since Diavolo is royalty and Loquar Ad Vos was created with the sampling of normal demons it works wrong on him since there's something different(tm)

Reverse engineering the Loquar spell to work on him has been in the works for a while. Loquar is drafted like shit since it is an old human-oriented spell (Basically like spaghetti code needing to be rewritten), so it proves a bit troublesome.

You later find that Diavolo speaks in a very uniquely pronounced manner

↑ Think of it like Devildom royalty has a very distinctive Way Of Speaking. Like an accent but also not. Probably magic related in some way(?)

"do you want to consume nourishment" ← Diavolo's ass getting mistranslated

So yeah Barbatos or Lucifer kinda have to lend a hand when you two communicate.

If you're English speaking then you two kinda communicate that way sometimes. You reassure him on his accent and help him along if he gets anything wrong.

(he's fluent-ish in Japanese as well if we are running in the assumption that the reason why MC's canonically japanese is because they needed someone who A) speaks a language translatable by Loquar Ad Vos B) is also a language Diavolo knows and C) is not of the same social background as Solomon)

He will get so unapologetically excited when you start learning demon tongue. You two can!!! Communicate even more!!!!!

Demons will be genuinely mortified if you gain Diavolo's accent while speaking demon tongue. Why does this random ass human speak like royalty ತ⁠_⁠ತ

Very (un)subtle way to tell everyone that you're besties/partner/whatever of the literal prince of Devildom.

Something something dragon being possessive something

[karanseraph]

why Starscream could be a pain-seeker...

This is opinion and ramblings, but it could have spoilers for Transformers One (which i have still not seen but exposed myself to some spoilers) as well as for upcoming chapters of my fic The Life and Times of Skywarp, also I'm going to write about alien robot characters being abused, so...

hi, not a masochist, but I write about alien robot characters sometimes.

Why might Starscream who undergoes some severe beatings (often by the hands or cannon of Megatron) in various Transformers media and has been seen begging for mercy at another point be seeming to challenge Megatron to hurt him more or antagonistically ask for more pain or punishment?

So, I had no hand in writing official TF media, so I can't tell you why someone else wrote that.

But I can tell you why I might choose to write that and how it's not necessarily (key word there) contradictory with other portrayals.

Starscream likely experienced pain/punishment/torture/abuse/experimentation in the past. How this happened differs from one continuity to another. Maybe it was Megatron all along, maybe he had a neglectful or abusive mentor once, maybe he was put into a constructed body and felt 'wrong' all the time, maybe he only discovered he has a mutant immortal spark after several 'deaths' and remembers all of that, maybe Quintessons forced him into experimentation in order to create a bunch of Seekers who look kinda like him, maybe he has a brother who can't control his own deadly ability very well. Maybe multiple of these happened.

Also, Starscream sometimes does selfish things. If we think that the above happens then Starscream might at first try evasive or avoidant strategies. But he might be faced with choices where to prevent himself experiencing further pain, he allows others to receive pain or punishment. Like, "if you don't comply, we'll just do this to your brother or to that black and purple one you pretend you don't like"

And once Starscream is selfish and acts in self preservation and other bad things happen, he could have guilt. Not that he should. He was trying to save himself and the one doling out punishment still is responsible for their action. But it can feel like maybe he did bad things or mad bad choices (even if sometimes there was a dilemma of false choice or lesser evils)

If Starscream knows pain is inevitable and that he can't always evade it, and that he's already experienced guilt enough to think he even deserves the pain, whatever the form, then his last recourse is to attempt to assume control and agency over what comes.

It's like, if you already were going to clean your room, but then your parent tells you to do it, it can feel like they just stole your agency and now cleaning your room will have the appearance of compliance or obedience, even though it was your idea first.

If Starscream says he wants to be beaten or hurt or punished, even if Megatron or another character was going to do it anyway, then he can feel like he's stealing their agency for himself. He's saying what can or will happen. If it continues, he feels some measure of control. And if it stops, because now Megatron isn't interested if Starscream likes it, then at least Starscream gets what he originally wanted which was his own self preservation.

I'm not saying this is rational in all senses. But I think the mental processes can make sense for a person/character.

And, it's possible Starscream does or did at some point learn to receive the beating and turn the pain into pleasure because it's representing life and continued ability to sense and function and brings a sort of alertness and clarity and focus in those moments. That's possible: that he learned to derive pleasure.

But it's also possible it's an attempt to take agency and control because that's what he really wants and enjoys. Even if it comes with pain. He wants to be in control of himself and what others may do with him and how many times he has to die. He likes the feeling of influencing the outcome. He might like seeing others influenced by him. So it might not matter if that's achieved by earning command, or by manipulation. He might just like feeling in control of things.

He probably really doesn't like others successfully taking control from him and doing things against his person or interests. He probably hates that.

So he'll say whatever he can to take back some control. Could be sycophantic flattery, lies, evasive misdirection, begging for mercy, egotistical challenges, etc.

And if Megatron is smart enough to figure all that out...he probably is capable of stringing Starscream along for some long amount of time, allowing him control over some things, but always ready to take it away by telling Starscream to do just what Starscream wants to do. He can let Starscream give commands or control weapons or resources, but there's always the potential to remind Starscream this is with Megatron's leave and permission, until such time as Starscream can defeat him. And that...hope of future conquest when he can have the control again will keep Starscream there with him, waiting in the wings as it were.

Not telling anyone this is happy and great. Just, i think it can make sense as character motivations and dynamics.

[spacedoutman]

(Out of character note) Hey everyone! I’ve been roleplaying as Ace from kiss immortals for awhile now but I’m going to spin some lore and stuff for this account and roleplay to hell on it.

Life’s getting batshit insane, I mean getting kicked out of my house, insane, so I want a distraction haha and just to have fun! If you want to join in, feel free to! I love group projects and we can get together and write stuff up.

But these posts will be coming! Please also note I still have yet to watch the full game playthrough so I’m probably gonna turn the universe into some eldritch horror or whatever.

So here’s to the start of a hopefully long lived writing project!

(Will be based on Kiss immortals and I’ll be going off their in game personalities)

Ace’s blog entry pt.1

Tumblr? Tumble her, Tumbled? What could that mean? Before we left—and crashed the ship, they were like:

“Hey, Ace, you into tech?”

Of course, being me, I was like “You bet!” Or something along those lines (can’t remember anything at all) and I took the stupid square device and am greeted with a giant T.

Apparently, they told me it belonged to some Skinwalker before and I could keep it if I found and eradicated it. I have no idea what they’re talking about.

Of course being me, I messed around. You all post thoughts here? Crazy. I’ve always wanted a little something like that secretly. Saying I was excited was a crazy fucking understatement.

I’m learning the ropes of this thing but I think I’m addicted! I’m also lucky to have enough food. Gene keeps reprimanding me for drinking out of the milk jug at 3 in the morning—why? It’s only been three days!!

Well. That must be off putting. Let me tell you how my day went. Still trying to get in the hang of this. 🤦🏻

Ship’s been crashed for.. what, two days now? Everyone is tired. We kinda don’t know what to do or we know what to do and don’t know what to do to do what to know what to do…?

We just fuck around. Like tease each other, eat stuff, Gene is being his grouchy self.

Apparently you guys are a whole different… generation? So you use text acronyms. I want to use text acronyms so when I showed Peter, of course, he was like, “hey, let’s do it!”

lol- Loving our life?

Omg- Out my garage

Iykyk- I yodel (to) keep yall kalm

Idgaf- I don’t give ace food (for days) (Gene)

Jk- Jeremy Klein

/j- SLASH Jeremy

wtf- where the fucking-

Tf- The food

Hru- i am chronically tired

Rofl- Pisses me off

Lmao- What a schmuck (Paul did this one)

Anyway I’m pissed. Peter and I just started yelling these at Gene and Paul was like: “oh no stop it” and I was like no and then we had a food fight and now we all might go hungry I’m distraught

So how was your day?

P.S Maybe I shouldn’t have tried to flirt excessively with Paul it’s kinda going wrong

[withgreatpowercomesmyfuckingdick]

GENESIS CHAPTER!!! YESSSSSSS MY BOYY

Genesis is a hate-reader 🍷 Canon to me. I'm also glad you give him time to shine as a strategist, like, he IS a caster and one of the most proficient SOLDIERs in existence 💅stands to reason he does have to think things through on the battlefield and this isn't addressed nearly enough imo.

Zack "I'm not traumatized 😀" Fair is breaking my heart here. Both Cloud and Zack get to miraculously be together after losing the other, but the fear is fresh in Zack's mind. And unfortunately due to the rapidly developing situation (SCREAMS) he doesn't really have time to process and address it, and that's assuming he isn't avoiding doing so like the plague because Cloud's alive so everything's fine now right? 😀 Except it's super not and now Zack is the only one who really knows how not fine it is 💔

Speaking of not addressing emotions lol Angeal is in full repression mode and Sephiroth is isolatinggg 😬 I know how easy it is to withdraw when you're used to not having anyone there for you, when you have to figure out and manage everything yourself regardless of how unequipped you are for the task, but I also feel for Genesis here because it really does take a lot of work to gently coax people out of that over and over again. I like how you're addressing this in general, but especially from this pov! I really feel Genesis' frustration here. He knows it would get better if Seph just came home 😥

I really enjoyed the intel gathering scene with Bolin 👌👌👌 You're really serving up top shelf Genesis in this chapter and it's delightful to watch! But Camp 28 is stressing me tf out agagshshshshs Zack is somewhat reassured for now but even Kenny is worried about Cloud's lack of self preservation (physically and emotionally damn) and he doesn't even know how bad of a situation they're walking into! Though no one really knows and that's kind of the problem, but I love Kenny and I want him to survive this 😭 He needs to survive so he can be brave and trust Juvie with the kids!

Speaking of kids, CLAUDIA IS SO PRECIOUS I CANT 💕 I'm as bad as Vincent at this point. Claudia deserves the world (and she doesn't even exist anymore.. I will never be ok again 🫠)

I'm a little worried about whatever Genesis has planned to address the Camp 28 situation, because, well, it's Genesis lol but at the same time I love his constant rebellion against being told "no" 💅

Thanks for the amazing chapter!!!! Time to reread the whole thing again to distract myself from the incredible suspense of what's to come 😁🍿

HI HI HI THANKS FOR LEAVING ME THIS TO WAKE UP TO!!!

Genesis being a strategist just makes sense to me. Like. The man led a rebellion against Shinra that turned into a straight up war, waged it for a decent amount of time, and managed to not immediately get eradicated. That in itself says the man’s got SOME brains on him lol

Yeahhh Zack’s still in the “just happy Spike’s here” stage and honestly doesn’t even realize what he’s doing. The weight of carrying Cloud’s secret is kinda trumping his own emotions in importance, which miiiiiight not be good :/

It’s kind of sad when, to an extent, Genesis is being the most emotionally intelligent among them. I mean. Seriously. Genesis? Same guy that thought talking Sephiroth into insanity would make the dude help heal him? Yeah if he’s the smartest emotionally everyone needs some DIRE help.

But also guess what conflict is going to be resolved next chapter because I like making Seph suffer but not THAT damn much? Angeal’s repression might take a bit longer but gimme a second there’s five character arcs going on at once 😂

Camp 28 is, if you guys didn’t notice, another parade situation, except I’m dragging it out for effect LMAO. It obviously isn’t exactly the same but…well, you’ll see ;) Kenny’s just trying to look out for a buddy :( Cloud’s doing the same thing, just like…way more risky and possibly self destructive. Immortality went RIGHT to his head IMMEDIATELY

Cloud says it’s his daughter but that’s OUR DAUGHTER!!!

And like you said lmao—

Sephiroth: Genesis, no

Genesis: is that a fucking challenge

Nah seriously like, Genesis and ‘letting that slide’ don’t go in a sentence together. it’s just

Genesis, squinting at Camp 28: I don’t know what the fuck’s going on but TRUST you will be dealt with

Feel AWFUL for leaving this answer to you in my drafts for like…for fucking ever 😭 But thanks for leaving me this lovely!!! Always encouraging to read a lil smth from you 🖤🖤🖤

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.1

Good thing I didn’t do something like a story arc with this series, bc that would be…well.

Zhang Chat

Zhang Rishan: Could we speak, Patriarch? It is a family matter.

Zhang Qiling: read 12:18pm

Unnamed chat

Zhang Rishan: Good afternoon. I am writing with regard to a development pertaining to a Zhang family heirloom. Its recent activity has provided some potential insight into a long-standing mystery about our family’s longevity. I would deeply appreciate it if you could have Zhang Qiling contact me at his earliest convenience.

Wu Xie: !!!!!!!!!!!

Wu Xie: sorry, I mean yes, absolutely. Is it at the tea house? Can I come too? We won’t break things this time, I swear.

Zhang Rishan: That would be entirely dependent on whether Zhang Qiling contacts me.

Zhang Chat

Zhang Qiling: …Pangzi has several phrases he uses in addressing persistent telemarketers. I believe the more vivid wordings apply to you today.

Zhang Rishan: I apologize for the somewhat underhanded machinations, but the matter is urgent. How much do you remember about the 1800s?

Zhang Qiling: Nothing. Why?

Men in Black Chat

Zhang Qiling: Has he contacted you?

Hei Yangjing: oh shit whaddup it’s dat xiaoge

in some parts of the world, ya know—people lead into conversations with dumbass small talk and actual context for their demands

i know it’s crazy but like lord what fools these mortals be and shit amirite

How’s bae and the loudmouth

Zhang Qiling: Your descriptor for Pangzi is somewhat hypocritical, I would argue. Wu Xie is well; he had a bad cold last week but has mostly recovered.

The Shakespeare reference is noted and appreciated. Although I personally prefer The Tempest.

Has he contacted you?

Hei Yangjing: omg this is a xiaoge trivia plot twist thx

although tbqfh I figured you’d be more into Romeo and Juliet

lmao get it

…too soon?

Zhang Qiling: Has he contacted you?

Hei Yangjing: sadly, dear A-Xie and I just don’t talk daily the way we did when you were making snowmen for ten years or whatever. don’t be jealous, whats a Wu Xie to do but the other black-clad immortal in town who’s…teaching him stuff;)

The last time I heard from our mutual boo was on one of my birthdays (i tell people different days to maximize consistent presents, got the idea from something in the news)

Zhang Qiling: Your attempt at levity is not humorous in the least. Wu Xie is not interested in you and any attempts you make to express your own interest will be blocked with extreme prejudice.

I was referring to Zhang Rishan. At the start of this conversation, five years ago.

Hei Yangjing: yikes chill tf out jelly bro you know I was joking

Cool your Qilin

hehehe

Admit it tho, we would be hot

Also yikes on the Zhang Rishan front

Lead with that next time tf use ur words

No I never talk to the bitch unless he pays why

Ew what does he want now

Tell him i died, make it tragic

Bonnie and Clyde Chat

Hei Yangjing: psst hey sexy got some big news

Xie Yuchen: Change the chat name.

Hei Yangjing: uhh lemme think no anyway how would ur fine ass like to hear some spicy info for the low low price I just sent?

Xie Yuchen: …This had better be good.

Hei Yangjing: face it ur the rich and rational version of Wu Xie I knew u would be curious

So here’s the 411

Xie Yuchen: The what?

Hei Yangjing: ugh

Youth

W/e

So the sitch is, zhang bois got some special necklace from someone somewhere

That is supposed to make the wearer invulnerable or somesuch

Idek man at this point I’m just accepting it, like sure u have a magical necklace, makes sense

I wonder if the Zhangs are like lotr??

I would totes be gandalf. u can be galadriel in that one HBIC scene.

Except this weirdass family jewelry hasn’t done fuckall for years, shit was broke af

then said necklace started glowing last week like yikes it was lit kinda glowing

Hehe I guess this is its glowup

Get it

Xie Yuchen: So, a mysterious Zhang artifact has suddenly become active.

Hei Yangjing: duh that’s what i said

Xie Yuchen: Is Zhang Qiling involved?

Hei Yangjing: he didn’t wanna be but you know Wu Xie has the Zhang Qiling equivalent of beatlemania and got them involved lol

Qilinmania, i dub it

And so now they are headed to the haus of scalding hot tea

Interested?

Xie Yuchen: Try and stop me.

Hei Yangjing: bitch I’m inviting u to crash the potentially dangerous Zhang drama WITH me

It’s basically a date;)

Xie Yuchen: No, it is not. Pick me up in an hour.

Hei Yangjing: feisty, I love to see it

[just-a-creep-babe]

I'm back?? Creeps with a really go with the flow, devil-may-care, Not afraid of death, Chill SO? [EX: *meets creeps* Wow, okay, this is my life now I guess. || Same stuff as always! *helps hide body* || You wanna fly into the Bermuda triangle and live to stream it? Heck yeah, she'll bring spicy sour patch kids. || Don't worry! I'm still in shock! Can't feel a thing! || '*does something stupid* we survived? Brilliant. Love it when that happens. ] Thanks!♡

~Requests are closed but commissions are open~

Masterlist: x

Slenderman

Jfc—why?

He’s already worried about litcherally everyone else in the mansion, now you too?

He is Quite Concerned™️

Lowkey more concerned for you over the others but that’s a given tbh

Honestly questions how tf you’ve manage to make it this far without dying

He makes it his personal mission to keep you safe at all costs—no matter what

So on the bright side, you sort of inherit this ancient eldritch being as a personal bodyguard!

But on the not-so bright side, said being just doesn’t let ya have any fun around here >:/

Will physically restrain you from doing something stupid so you don’t get caught up in anything dangerous

Starts considering giving you a curfew or smthg because even he can’t keep up with the stuff you get pulled into

But he respects you too much for that, ofc, so he just begrudgingly accepts that you’ll keep doing you—no matter how irresponsible or dangerous it might be :”)

Still loves you despite the heart attacks you nearly put him through every other day :)

Jeff the Killer

This 👏mans 👏will 👏love 👏you 👏forever 👏

At first, admittedly, he’s a teensy bit put off by your nonchalance because how can someone actually be that laid back all the time??

But once he adjusts to it & realizes that you aren’t, in fact, faking it for whatever reason, he’ll be completely & utterly enamored with you

Like,, he can do a bunch of stupid shit & drag you along into it & you won’t freak out??

Sign 👏him 👏up 👏

Loves not having to worry about you sanity tbh—there’s no need to hide all the dangerous crap he does because he knows you won’t worry ^^

And homeboy most definitely will take advantage of your go-with-the-flow nature

He’s got a taste for danger & doing stupid shit—how could he not bring you along with him?

If/when y’all get caught & put in trouble tho, he’ll take the blame so that you don’t suffer for something that was most likely his idea

Jeff? Doing the right thing? It may be more likely than you think 🤔

It still sometimes unnerves him just how chill you are with everything, but hey, he can’t let you outdo him in badass-ness, so he’s guaranteed to incite plenty of chaos to prove himself; it’s bound to be an exciting time uwu

BEN Drowned

Oh he is sO down

One of the perks of being dead? He probably can’t die again

So there are absolutely no limits to the insane shenanigans he’s willing to pull off

The fact that you’re just as down to clown makes thing so much better

It gets to the point where someone constantly needs to keep an eye on the both of you so you don’t accidentally end up dying

Cause BEN (and bless his soggy soul) as much as he loves you, tends to forget how fragile human beings can be

So it’s up to the others to make sure your lack of self-preservation doesn’t get you killed

But your fearlessness & nonchalance is like a breath of fresh air!

Things can get a teensy bit boring when you’re immortal, so he’s more than happy to have a badass s/o by his side who’s down for pretty much anything uwu

Y’all get into a bunch of stupid, dangerous & probably illegal shit—but he wouldn’t want it any other way 😘

Eyeless Jack

Similar to Slendaddy, this mans is Concerned™️

He will constantly check you over to see if you need to get patched up because he knows you’re a danger magnet

But at the same time, he doesn’t wanna be too overbearing

Like he definitely has this live & let live mentally (prolly in part due to his diet) so he‘ll try not to bring up too often how nervous he is about your safety & well-being

You’ve accepted him as he is, part demon and all, so he feels like he owes you the same

Even if it does scare the shit out of him because my god what have you gotten yourself into this time??

He’s kinda like a worried mom tbh—he’ll pack you up a lunch & send you off with a “be safe, don’t do anything dangerous, say no to drugs,” and stuff, even despite knowing you probably won’t listen

Homeboy just wants you to grow & experience the world for yourself :”)

Still, he’ll ask the others to keep an eye out for you & to not put you in too much danger

And he’ll totally sometimes follow you from the shadows just to make sure you’re staying safe skdjsjdlsjl

He’s a protective demon boi, what can I say? :)

Masky

He’s,,,, pretty impressed actually

Thinks your nonchalant attitude is kinda badass

Of course he still gets worried, but he’s also prone to forgetting how fragile most people are

His pain tolerance is pretty dang high, so he doesn’t always realize certain things can hurt normal people. Badly

He’ll feel super bad if you get injured with him, but at least homeboy will try to make it up by giving you plenty of sweets & cuddles uwu

He might try to give you a stern talking-to so that you’re more careful, but he knows it won’t stop you from being you

Still, overall, he thinks it’s pretty sweet that you’re down for, like, anything

Will probably wanna take you with him for jobs sometimes—just cause he can & it probably won’t traumatize you too bad :>

Just don’t tell slender

Thinks his bold little s/o is damn cool & lowkey brags abt you all the time uwu

Hoodie

He thinks it’s pretty funny lmfaoo

Is torn between being worried & wanting you safe while also desperately wanting to just be like “fuck it” and do a bunch of stupid shit with you :”)

Will probably take advantage of how you don’t worry much to tag you along in his shenanigans

But at least he’ll make your safety & comfort his utmost top priority uwu

Honestly, he admires how chill you are with shit that’s pretty traumatizing—it’s almost funny that you’re just as brave as he is, considering his line of work and all

It’s,, kinda intriguing to him; homeboy will maybe wanna psychoanalyze you a lil 👀👉👈

You’re just so interesting, he can’t help but be a smidge fascinated 👁👄👁

Really wants to be able to make some good, wild memories with you <3

He’s honestly the perfect balance of protective & adventurous at the same time

Just wants to please his little s/o and keep them safe & happy while fulfilling their need for wild shenanigans :>

Ticci Toby

Oh boy

He is the same

Together, y’all are chaotic af

The creeps know not to leave you unsupervised because shit will go down

The utmost chaotic duo in need of constant watching over & patching up ngl 😅

Seriously, the others are damn near always worried about babysitting you two because you’re both danger magnets

And it doesn’t help that Toby has no concept of danger and/or pain

He’ll try to be super sympathetic if/when you do get injured, but poor boy will be clueless af as to how to help

So more often than not, he’ll end up using himself as a human shield to protect you from danger to make up for it

Either way, y’all get into so much shit, it’s unbelievable

Kinda perfect together but like,, in the worst of ways lmfaooo

[thunder-at-dawn]

why tf is the unfollow button right next to the ask thing-

24 with lee Foolish? i just need some fluff after today's lore ;-;

ok you said you wanted fluff but...i may or may have gotten carried away. there many or may not also be hurt/comfort in this BSHDJDJD SORRY

word count: 1,454

prompt list can be found here!

prompt 24: “i’m barely touching you!”

spoiler warning for the events of the red banquet for those who haven’t seen it yet!

This wasn’t possible.

He was immortal.

He couldn’t die...

...or so he thought.

Foolish walked through the desert, stepping foot out of his temple for the first time in days. For the first time since the Red Banquet.

...God, he even hated thinking of those two words.

He had already reunited with Puffy, his mother, a day prior. She had shed many tears in front of him, and Foolish wasn’t afraid to admit that he had shed a couple as well.

However, she had approached him. Foolish hadn’t gone anywhere else, he had just stayed inside the temple ever since he...he...no. He couldn’t think about that right now. He couldn’t think about the scar across his neck that was somehow still there. He couldn’t think about how Antfrost had beheaded him and taken his life. He couldn’t think about Puffy’s screams and tears. He couldn’t think about how the egg suppressed him. He couldn’t think about how Eret- Eret.

He had to find Eret.

Foolish wasn’t sure what he wanted to do before he headed out of the temple, but now? Now, he knew for sure. As fast as he could, he ran down the desert path and towards his colossal nether portal. He passed his turtles and his abnormally large cactus, glad to be able to see them again. But that wasn’t his primary focus.

He stepped up the platforms to the nether portal, about to step in, but hesitated. Puffy had told him that everyone had escaped, and that Foolish had been the only sacrifice. But...Eret might have taken that place. It was a lot to think about...was he ready to face it?

Whatever thoughts Foolish had were interrupted by the portal swirling in front of him. Was someone coming through? Who would be coming over here? Foolish stepped aside, not wanting to be crashed into by whoever came through from the nether. He could hear the swirling vortex increase in volume, and after a few moments, someone stumbled out of the portal.

“Fucking ghasts...” A grumble came out of the stranger’s mouth. They wore a ruby red dress that trailed onto the ground as they stepped off of the platform. It was a dress that Foolish had recognized, but it looked different. While it was newer and beautiful the last time he saw that dress, the very bottom of it was now tattered, ripped, and covered in dirt. Part of the bottom of the dress had even caught on fire (from a ghast, Foolish assumed), and the stranger had brought it closer to them to stomp the fire out with their boot.

However, to Foolish, this was no stranger.

“...Eret?”

The monarch turned around, immediately recognizing their friend’s voice. As Foolish stepped down from the portal platform, Eret froze in place, their breaths increasing in speed.

“Eret...hey. Uh...jeez...” There was so much that Foolish wanted to say, but he didn’t know how to form it all into words. He stepped forward, now standing directly in front of Eret and looking at them in the eyes, past their sunglasses.

“F-Foolish, I-“ Eret stuttered, pausing once again. However, something then happened that Foolish knew all too well.

“Ah, wait! Wait, don’t cry! It’s okay!” Foolish instinctively wiped away the few tears that flowed from Eret’s eyes. Just as he had remembered from the old days, their tears were glowing white, and left a small marking on their face that would fade with time.

Their bodies finally met with a hug initiated by Eret. No, not a hug. An embrace. It was a genuine, most-definitely needed embrace.

“I- I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m crying.” Eret pulled away. “I shouldn’t be crying, I should be happy, happy that you’re alive! I mean, I knew that you would come back, and that you still have two lives, but I didn’t know what was going to happen, a-and-“

“Eret, relax. It’s okay. Everything’s okay. I’m here now. Take some deep breaths.” Foolish reassured his old friend, who was currently going through a tidal wave of emotions. Eret followed the instructions, inhaling and exhaling. After a minute or two, they started to calm down.

“...It’s good to be able to see you again.” The totem god nodded with a smile.

“It’s so good to see you again too, Foolish.” Eret nodded, now smiling as well.

“You’re still wearing that dress, huh?”

Eret looked down at the tattered dress. “Yeah, I haven’t found myself taking it off...ever since...” Foolish knew what words would finish that sentence, and he could tell that neither one of them wanted to be the one to fill in the blank. Eret sighed, looking back up at Foolish. “Sorry, but would it be okay if I hugged you again?”

“Of course, Eret! You don’t even have to ask!” Foolish nodded. This time, however, he was the one to initiate the hug, before Eret got the chance to do so. The monarch held their friend right around the waist, with no plans to let go. However, a sudden feeling in Foolish’s side caused him to retreat with a small yell.

Eret also stepped back a bit, surprised by the disruption. “Is- Is everything okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“What? No, no! You’re fine. You’re just fine, Eret.” Foolish nodded, playing things down. Surely they wouldn’t figure it out, right?”

“...Alright.” With hesitance, Eret wrapped their arms tightly around Foolish again, only for him to suddenly pull away again. He once again let out a yell.

“Are you sure I’m not hurting you? I can stop.” Eret asked nervously.

“No! Like I said, you’re fine.” Foolish nodded.

Questions raced through Eret’s head. Were they hurting him? Was he lying? Why was he smiling a bit? Suddenly, everything clicked together. A lightbulb went off, and they crossed their arms with a smirk.

“Ohhhhh, I think I’ve got it. Foolish, are you ticklish by chance?” They asked.

Damnit, they did figure it out!

“What? Noooooo...” The detectable nervousness of his voice confirmed Eret’s answer. “I’m not! Really, I’m not. You just kinda staHARTled mehe!” His voice raised in pitch as Eret unexpectedly squeezed his side. “Eheheret!”

“Oh, so now you’re lying to me, huh?” Eret raised an eyebrow, then commenced with grabbing both of their wrists with one hand. With their free hand, Eret poked and prodded around Foolish’s torso.

“Wahahait, wahahihit! EhehEHrehet!! I’m sohohory for lying, I’m- SHIHIT!” Foolish’s voice was filled with small snickers as they squirmed around, trying to escape Eret’s grasp.

“I’m barely touching you!” Eret said, amused by this new discovery.

“YeheHEHAh, buhut it tiHIHIckhles!” He giggled, continuing to squirm.

“Well, yeah, that’s kind of the point.” Eret shrugged, switching tactics. They went from poking with one hand to two hands, vibrating their fingers into their underarms to see if they would get a different reaction.

“No. No. NonononOHOHAHAHAHAAA!! EHEHEHEHEREHET!!” Foolish threw his head back, his laughter quick to rise in volume.

“Ah, there we go!” Eret grinned, knowing they had found a better spot to attack. “You’ve got such a nice laugh Foolish, I’m so glad you’re sharing it with me!”

“SHUHUHUTUHUP!” The demigod cackled as he squirmed in Eret’s grasp. When they moved down to squeeze at his hip, he let out a shriek, quickly forcing their hands off and stepping away with a wobbly smile.

“Woah, bad spot, huh?” The monarch laughed at the other’s reaction.

“Gee, I dunno. What do you think, Eret?” Foolish asked with sarcasm in his voice. He sighed, taking a moment to catch his much needed breath. Despite the sudden surprise, it was fun. He couldn’t remember the last time he had some plain fun without the thought of the Eggpire or something else stressful on his mind.

“Well, I think that that was pretty fun.” Eret nodded.

“For you, maybe.” Foolish rolled his eyes with a grin.

“For me, definitely.” They laughed softly before turning back to Foolish. “If you want, we could probably go and visit Puffy. I’m sure she’d enjoy having all three of us together again.”

“Yeah, of course!” He nodded, never to turn down an opportunity to visit his adoptive parent. Suddenly, he had an idea. “I’ll race you!” He said, grabbing Eret’s hand and bringing him towards the nether portal.

“Wha- Foolish! That’s not fair, I’m wearing heeled boots!” Eret said to him while being walked up to the portal.

“And? All is fair in a race through the Nether, old pal!” Foolish laughed, dragging Eret through the portal with him as he stepped through. Eret rolled their eyes, but grinned, knowing the two of them were thinking the same thing.

This was just going to be one of the many new adventures they had together.

[dooodle-bug]

Pov Doodle compiles all her rambles from discord about the vellumentals into a singular post (it's, evidently, looooonng-)

General

-AIGHT SO. I've been thinking about making human designs for em, but at the same time I already like their animal designs, so I decided to just make them shape shifting gods so I can do whatever I want.

-Then I thought to myself: hmm maybe these guys are deities that don't actually have a solid form and instead are just fucking Energy taking an organic physical form of whatever tf they want bc they're gods.

-Then that led to my big brain thought that: Mario didn't ACTUALLY kill fucking gods, rather he simply destroyed their physical form bc their spirits or whatever are Immortal. So, as thanks for releasing their physical origami asses from Olly, they gave him the Bibliofold before returning back to heaven or whatever as their spirit forms-

-They're just Spirits that can't die so fuck you mario you didn't actually kill them-

-In a way, he kinda SAVED them by putting them down and being forced to live in pain from being folded and fucked up-

-I don't think they're evil OR good, rather, neutral. Their job is to maintain order in the physical world using their elemental abilities. They would never "pick sides" as they just want to keep things in balance and do stuff like. Not end the world-

-They actually don't even WANT to pick sides, they just want everything in balance! In fact, the only time they would even pick a side would be when some serious threat happens that threatens EVERYONE aheem aheem Olly-

-I haven't completely decided on any exact measurements, but they're certainly gonna be titans! As big as they are in game! Although they might be a tad bit smaller than my legion-

-The vellumentals were basically here since the beginning of time and tasked with Creating the world. Idk if there's any other pm lore regarding godly figures but that's gonna be my hc until then. Anyways, when they did this, they Descended from the heavens(?) Wherever them paper gods live up in the clouds, having no form or anything, just being spirit energy shit. They later took a physical form to better fit with the stuff in the paper world, this being those Animals. While they DO have human forms, they rarely use them due to wanting to keep themselves as something. Otherworldly and inhuman. In a majestic, godly kinda way as to show their Dominance over this world and really define themselves to the paper folk.

-Oh yeah. As I mentioned, they RARELY are ever seen as humans, only animal forms bc fuck you that's why. -They were worshiped heavily in the old paper world, however such worshiping has died down due to the technological developments and people just Not caring as much. Also probably because they went into hiding in their respective locations. Why? Nobody knows. Perhaps because they were disgusted by their creations, but who knows... I sure don't

Hmm. I think that everything inorganic (buildings n shit) were made by the paper folk. Hell, I think the vellumentals straight up went to the paper folk and went "We're your gods. We made you this world to live in. Thank us." They're like greek gods. They went and saved everyone and immediately expected payment and gratitude (to which the paperfolk did, of course)-

-They're the physical forms of gods that are stuck with a bunch of ungrateful bastards </3

-Oh yeah! Once they Achieved Their Physical forms, they were stuck on that lil paper world until it was destroyed. A small price to pay in order to see your creations and world grow over the course of thousands of years. Alas, it was not meant to last.

-Their bodies, unlike themselves, are mortal and tethered to the earth although show no signs of age and can shift whenever they want-

-They were Especially Close with one particular toad! King Shroomses, known to be the Only paperfolk to ever adorn the power of the vellumentals! Why? Because they saw potential in him to do almost Godly things to help progess with the world-

-They, of course, have these elemental abilities of unimaginable power, however most of this power is for creation, not fighting. They RARELY fight unless amongst each other but that's a different story-. They simply wanted to create their little paper realm.

-But they are MORE than capable of fighting those pesky little paperfolk when need be (ex someone challenges their Authority or tries fucking everyone up.)

-ALSO. How did they create paperfolk? Who knows...their magic and the environment they created seemed to have done the trick of Creating Life-

-They're like greek gods in a way; aint nobody better than them and anyone who claims to be should be punished-

-Also I feel like if anyone even does ever pray or anything to them, chances are they're not gonna respond, not bc they hate them, but bc they just choose to not interfere with the world as to keep the Flow of it-

-Paperfolk probably only really pray n worship and stuff for the sake of showing Gratitude they get to live another day n all- It's a sense of a "I made you and protect you and make sure you live you should thank me"-

-OH YEAH ALSO. How did Olly manage to fold these seemingly overpowered gods? Well, he took them by surprise and used magic they had never fucking seen before. Origami was never their creation- it was man made therefore they never cared for it. Also they were weakened heavily from being in hiding for so long, never seeing a challenger in ages-

-Anyways, as force folded beings, Olly straight up drained them of their magic and weakened them even MORE. Olly then took that magic (in the form of the bibliofolds, which he just fucking ripped away from them) in order to harness this elemental power, something critical in refolding the world.

-They, of course, were in so much fucking pain and confusion from that, especially by being fucking stapled, which prevented them from unfolding-

-Unlike other beings, who when folded are brainwashed and forced to Olly's whims, these guys were GODS although weakened-, so they just went feral, caring for nobody anymore and just straight up killing anyone in their path on sight. Why? Bc it was basically Survival Mode for them. They never experienced anything so horrifying and unreal like this before. So they did the Animal thing of "It's Kill or Be Killed".

-Oh yeah also! They were just in Pain when Mario and Olivia came along, still seeing them as a threat. (Unrelated but bc their powers were stripped from them and went all berserk, of course the world fell out of balance but that doesn't matter rn-) SO, they were eventually Put Down, releasing their Actual Spirits by removing their bodies, now regaining their og godly strength and giving them the bibliofold n stuff that Olly took from them in order to help them stop Olly before departing back to the heavens to regenerate and recooperate. They'll regain their physical forms later.

-This bibliofold magic, of course, was speshul, Olivia could FEEL their spirits from reading it n stuff meaning they were basically on her side-

Also the reason why my legion are most likely gonna be bigger than my vellumentals is because they're not SUPPOSED to be. As in, my legion is not SUPPOSED to exist- NOBODY is supposed to be bigger than the gods themselves! And having these artificial monsters being absolute behemoths is just something so striking and distrubing...They were never supposed to exist! The world was never MADE for them!

-The Stationery Giants are beings that never even existed until now! They're like an invasive species in this paper world! In fact, they're almost like gods in a way. Almost as if they could challenge the vellumentals themselves with their power and size!

-Hmm. I think that, now individually in terms of dynamics, they're all sorta one big friend group? I mean I can see Ice bein the Big Boss of em-

Ice Vellumental

-Ice is gonna be the Big Boss of the crew and is essential a mob boss, but like. more godlike and majestic. Anyhow, I can see Ice being, coincidentally, all Cold n stoic from everyone else, rather distant and professional n shit

-They, despite being da boss, would rather be alone, finding joy in solitude and curling up in a ball

-They're also quite Strict and To the point. They are also pretty emotionally detached from others

-ALSO, despite being so cold n disconnected, they have a surprisingly high temper, easily angered and frustrated by the others, possibly due to their strict motif or their lack of emotional connection

-But I can imagine they'd be a bit of a sweetheart once you get to know em- Even if they're strict and professional, they really honestly just want what's best for everyone, even if they express it via tough love-

Fire Vellumental

-I see em as being almost the opposite, always jumping around like they're on fire (ha ha very funny.).

-They'd be incredibly energetic and hyper, always wanting to move around and set things ablaze. They also never stop flying. ever.

-They're also much more Playful and Funloving than Ice, particularly enjoying dancing

-I think Fire might be similar to HP in the sense that yes, they know their fire is dangerous n shit, but not the the horrifying extent that it really is. Like they really enjoy playing around with people by lighting shit on fire-

-Hmm I also feel like Fire would be kinda outgoing? Like they feel like someone who's really confident and has this sorta flare, y'know?

Water Vellumental

-Hmm for Water, I'd say they're pretty fucking Chill- Like, not like Ice is in the sense their cold, but like, they're very calm and relaxed. Going with the flow if you will- I imagine they're more on the quite side and tend to just follow along with the others

-Also they'd have an unbelievably high level of tolorance for others being annoying, actively trying to Understand em-

-They're like that chill ass mom friend who just follows along the gang no matter how stupid they are-

Earth Vellumental

-They'd be much more stubborn in a way, not necessarily selfish or anything, but more so someone who has REALLY strong opinions and self advocates a lot-

-They would act as the voice of reason for the gang in a way, often being the one to cast judgement and do the talking I feel like they'd be kinda nice too? Not like, super passive, but still nice in a visible way-

-Also you could say they're very. Down to Earth and grounded in reality, unlike the others at times-

-They're realistic and reasonable. Also a bit bossy at times, when trying to get their point across, but still-

-Essentially boiled down to:

Earth: Down to earth

Water: Goes with the flow

Fire: Fucking moving around like their fire

Ice: Cool n collected.

And uhh, that's all! Thank you for reading if you did, I appreciate it!

[hankwritten]

TFComics Rewrite

I am currently plotting an outline for a TFComics, and I want to get my thoughts about fixes to canon and possibly get feedback. Since this is a rewrite there’s really no *spoilers* or anything, so I’m willing to answer all questions about what I plan to do. Also some characters I’m not so sure about how I want to retool them, so if your have ideas for your fav let me know!

Disclaimer:

This rewrite is intended to critique the content/choices made in the construction and telling of the Team Fortress 2 comic series. It is not a personal attack on the artists/writers/directors or any of the creatives that made contributions to this series, nor is it meant to substitute or replace the official release. This work is transformative in nature, and relies on an understanding of the source material to be understood. TF2 and its characters belong to Valve.

TFCR is working on the assumption that the audience has read the original comic, and as such will skip over scenes and plot points that are unchanged from the original. I don’t think it needs to be said, but this fanfiction will not make sense if you are not familiar with the source.

I also recognize that there are strengths within the comic’s writing and weaknesses within my own. Namely, that Valve writers are gods in the realm of comedy, and I’d rather not try to match them in the regard. As such, I will state up front that these will not be as funny as the TFComics. That is not to say there won’t be jokes (either ones transplanted from the source or some of my own) or that the tone of this will be terribly grimdark, only that my focus will be on improving story structure and character development as those are what appeal to me.

 The Broad Strokes

The goal of TFCR is to give a more engaging story for all the mercenaries we know and love, as--let’s face it--the TF2 mercs are side characters in their own damn story. These are some of the planned improvements.

There will be reason for each of the mercs to actually be there. As it stands, the motivations for almost every character besides Pauling and Saxton Hale are vague and unsatisfying. We’d usually say something along the lines of “money” for hired killers, but clearly Scout doesn’t even know if they’re getting paid, and some of the other characters are even worse. The hunt for the Australium is, therefore, boring. MacGuffins usually are, but at the very least the characters should care about the item even if the audience doesn’t. This work aims to give each of the nine mercs a motive and a reason to be in the story instead of just replaceable joke dispensers.

Explain what “Team Fortress” means, and how it relates to RED and BLU. Long and short: the nine mercenaries we see on the team are not from either RED or BLU but rotate between the two, and were the individuals selected to fight the robots. That means all things do happen to all characters. As Valve pretty much goes with “whatever is funniest at the time”, it’s very hard to make a cohesive theory about “where the hell is BLU team?”, but I’ll do my damndest. We’ll also examine Team Fortress’s relationship with the other capital T Teams, and why they’re considered the “rejects” of the bunch.

Comics 1 & 2 will be removed from the timeline as they serve no purpose, only taking what needs to be known about the plot’s setup and jumping straight to A Cold Day in Hell.

We will introduce the Classic Mercs right away so they can generate threat and play against the TF mercs when they do actually meet head to head.

We will not be killing off Gray Mann. (Not preemptively anyway.) In fact, there will be more focus on him and Olivia as villains facing off against the Admin, providing her foil as the TF2 and TFC mercs provide foils for each other.

I considered waiting until the final comic was out to begin working on this, but that may never happen. Jay Pinkerton said he may reveal what plot they had in store eventually, but considering it took Half Life over a decade to get the “I was once a Valve writer but my NDA has expired and now I can go buck wild” treatment, I’m not holding my breath. The main reason I wanted to do this is that the Administrator’s motivations are not interestingly foreshadowed, to the point where there aren’t even any good fan theories out there. That said, WritingDispenser and Riddle of the Sphinx helped come up with a pretty fun one, which was actually the inspiration for me to get off my butt and start plotting this.

There will be no queerbaiting. This refers both to HeavyMedic (which has been simultaneously used as wink wink nudge nudge joke many times and as encouragement for fans to play their stupid hat game) as well as lesbian Pauling (since femme lesbians are the preferred method for front facing LGBT representation across almost all media, but video games especially). If you need to understand why lesbian Pauling is an issue, Sarah Z coined the term “queercatching” in order to describe word of god confirmations on characters sexualities that are not followed up on in the text. I recommend the full video on it.

Due to the importance of immortality in the theming of the comics, respawn will not be a thing. Deaths we think should have happened previously will be explained as close calls, or that Medic can heal a short time after death. Medic and Scout’s deaths will be cut in the story itself, as after Sniper died and came back, them doing the same thing kinda lost their punch.

Scout

There will be no ScoutPauling hints. It doesn’t make sense to give screentime to this relationship because Valve obviously doesn’t think it’s going to go anywhere so why make Scout turn down advances from other hot women? I mean I get Expiration Date was a Thing but it feels like Scout’s whole motivation shouldn’t be reduced down to chasing a girl who doesn’t like him back.

He’s here because he lost his life’s savings in bad investments and needs the money. That’s it. Which is still somehow more than his canon motive which is question mark question mark question mark

He, Soldier, Spy, Demo, and Pyro all start the adventure with Miss Pauling.

Engages with Heavy on a genuine level when they go to collect him, Heavy doesn’t blow him off when he tries to level about dead dads.

There will be no DadSpy reveal. The way Spy treats Scout has never been “deadbeat dad feels bad about abandoning his kid” but more “this is someone I would kill without a second thought if I felt like it” which makes his reveal in comic 5 feel very disingenuous. I don’t think Valve even had this plotline in mind until comic 3, as #2 still has Spy seeming only to care about Scout’s Ma and not Scout himself. It also makes “seduce me!” retroactively weird.

Uhhh hooks up with Zhanna. This one isn’t critical I just think it’s funny.

Soldier

Soldier is going to be the Ur example of the Admin not treating her people well, as we’re going to lean into the whole “Soldier was only mildly messed up until the whole lead poisoning” thing.

He’s here because he’s blindingly loyal to the cause. He’s actually going to very little from canon because of this actually.

Might be the reason Team Fortress has a reputation of being the lower tiers of the Teams, but that doesn’t mean he’s damn good at his job. Fatal flaw is that he’s unstable, and even though the courthouse plotline won’t be in this fic, it should be noted that he actually does cause problems for the other protagonists due to his short temper. He’s a risky asset, but still essential.

There will be a minor explanation for the WAR! Comic, but I think that’s better saved for Demo’s analysis.

Pyro

Pyro is the character you could cut entirely from the comics and have the least change. Now, they’re going to be Pauling’s right hand. Let me explain.

Engineer and Pyro are implied to live together, and Pyro doesn’t have anything better to do than go with Engie after Team Fortress is disbanded. Rather than having a reveal, we will see some of what is going on with the Admin and friends early on, and see what leads up to her sending Miss P the note that kicks off the whole plot. However, while Engie needs to stay and look after her, Pyro’s skills aren’t useful here, and they are sent as a direct messenger to help Pauling.

They’re loyal, and unlike Soldier rarely mess up orders. They’re also partially mute, making them ideal for handling sensitive info. Pauling trusts them to handle the burning of “Elizabeth’s” paper trail.

Will be using they/them in the narrative voice, but other characters will refer to them as he/him. I considered going with it/its because that’s bubbled up in popularity again, but ultimately I decided against it.

We’ll get glimpses to their train of thought, but like the comics they will remain virtually silent.

Demo

Demo’s role in the cast is going to be very similar to Spy’s. The events of WAR! involved him nearly dying and Soldier taking the win, and he’s very bitter that after all those events *apparently* mercs can just be switched around teams willy nilly and don’t have to kill each other anymore. (As the audience, we know this is because the Admin found out the “make them so angry they won’t ask questions” wasn’t a long-term viable solution, and instead brought TFI forward as a neutral third party that was pretending to mediate the gravel wars.) But Demo’s suspicious, and is only along because he really has been miserable since he lost his job.

This conflict will eventually come to a head, more on that in the Sniper section.

Is fairly forgiving with his teammates. Doesn’t like Sniper but I’m willing to drop a little angst during that submarine scene. Is glad to see Medic actually. Here to be some glue to hold this merry band together.

The Eyelander will not be forgotten after 2 comics because I love this character concept and I think it was underutilized.

Drunk jokes will be kept to a minimum. What I liked about WAR! and Bombinomicon was that it took Demo and showed that they knew how to make him funny without making him one note, which they sort of did in the early TFComics but stopped in the later ones in favor of him….being asleep for the whole plot. I promise 100% awake Demo in my rewrite.

Demo likes Pauling on a personal level, but has trouble reconciling her with his feelings on TFI.

Doesn’t get knocked out by moonshine because. Seriously? Poisoning the Demoman with alcohol? In what world does that work.

Heavy

Not too much to change. Scout doesn’t accompany him when he goes to look for the secret Australium cache, and he engages with Mags and Saxton (which will be when the audience finds out what they’ve been up to) and actually cares about what’s going on with them. He thinks Darling is up to something. Which he is, he’s attempting to unseat both Gray and Helen due to long family history.

Will at least mention Medic. Their reunion falls a little flat since it mostly relies on Meet the Medic for context, as they don’t really interact in the comic. There can be a bit of a flashback to what it was like as all these mercs broke up.

I know uhhh Valve seems to think found family is really dumb, and that these murderers could ever like each other is silly or something, but the mercs do? Like each other? For the most part anyways. 

Bronislava and Yana come alone for adventures, not just Zhanna. Again, no real reason, but sometimes I get to have tacky fanfic stuff in my own fanfic because I Wanna.

Engineer

Engie ruminates on his family history of allowing all this bullshit to happen and just kind of shrugging. Basically Moss’s analysis of the Conagher themes.

Has put a lot of time, sweat, and tears into BLU and now TFI, isn’t willing to let it fall now, even if Admin is basically living on borrowed time. He’s doing this because of the ‘ole sunk cost fallacy.

Also we get to see more of Pauling and Admin’s relationship through his eyes.

Medic

Congrats on being the one merc with an actual arc, Medic! As a reward, you will not be changed much.

I’m actually going to use Medic’s section to say that the Classic mercs will be referred to by their first names in order to differentiate them, and we’ll get little previews of what they’re like from Medic’s perspective before we actually see them fight Team fortress. The battle at the submarine will be more of a fight in this sense, working it out so it seems like surrender is the only option after Sniper is killed.

Final fight with Cheavy will be...not blocked so awkwardly. I mean this is now a textual medium so my work is already halfway done, but still the pacing is so weird. Shudder.

Sniper

These are the big guns. Most changes, even more than Demo. He’s been actually hunting for New Zealand/the Australium cache on his own, and doesn’t want Pauling interfering, saying for a he knows she could have been the ones to kill his adoptive parents.

(She hasn’t, but the Admin did actually order them killed in an attempt to stop Sniper because she thought she could prevent the exact thing that is going on right now which is that Sniper is considering trying to get at it.)

Sniper doesn’t know this, but Pauling, Demo, and Spy eventually convince him to share his findings and help them get to New Zealand.

Spy

Similar to Demo but is less conflicted about it. He knows just because he likes someone doesn’t mean he won’t have to kill them later. 

Spy knows about who killed Sniper’s parents, and tells Demo, sort of as a test to see where his loyalties lie. He also knows that Pyro is Pauling’s confidant for certain things.

Demo questions him about what he’s doing here, whose side he’s really on. But you know. Spy is Spy and he was never really on anyone’s side but his own. When it comes down to it, it might be exactly as Scout thinks: that he’s ditched them all and run off when he had the opportunity. But, big damn hero, comes back in the end.

He’s here mainly to “keep an eye on things.” Also maybe because his gf asked him to keep an eye on her son :)

[sunshine304]

I am so so sorry that it took me this long to continue my LoF watching posts! RL, y’know. Ep 26 felt like a good place to take a breather, as well, so that’s what I did.

 Anyway, let’s move on to eps 27 and 28!

It’s exposition time! Zhou Fei and ChuChu are at a tea house and hear about an army deserter who was trained on the Mountain of the Immortals (has this been mentioned before... IDK), was poisoned and became a monk. A-Fei thinks this story sounds familiar (indeed it does, indeed it does...) and ChuChu remembers having read sth like this in a book (the book of ... Peng Lai? I think?).

Oh look, Huo Fort becomes relevant again! I forgot about them. Anyway, Huo Lintao, who is now the boss and seems to not be well liked basically everywhere, wants to fight Disha and invites people from Jianghu to his Destroy Disha Assembly (God, I just love that name XD). Li Sheng & 48 Strongholds get an invite and he wants to investigate. Huo Fort is also... attacked by random cultivators I guess?

Meanwhile, let’s check in on Yin Pei! He still can’t deal with his internal injury (loss of internal power? still not sure; I’m assuming it’s sth like severe damage to a golden core in xanxia or even complete loss of one) and scours Old Daoist Master Chongxiao’s rooms for the Phoenix Pill, which... I think gives you lots of power but is also really super dangerous? 

This show sure has lots of useful but also dangerous power restoring/improving pills and needles, huh?

Anyway, Yin Pei takes the pill. He does not feel so good. Uh oh.

Li Yan and Yang Jin go in search for A-Fei again – uhm, didn’t A-Fei simply go into town with ChuChu? Why are they searching for her again, other that Yang Jin wants to fight her because one obvious defeat isn’t enough? I'm guessing there has been a time skip again...

Meanwhile, at Disha Manor! Shen Tianshu is nursing his wounded ego I guess, while Chu Tianyu, an older member, is now supposed to take care of all this drama, but he doesn’t really want to because he’s retired. How many weird members of Disha are there?

Oh okay, so Yin Pei goes kinda crazy because of the scabbard since it seems to be gone, takes more of the Phoenix Pills, which is a fucking stupid idea, we get some exposition that this might turn him into a demon of some sort, and then he kills Chongxiao for the scabbard because he thinks that the old master wants it for himself.

Which, you know, isn’t true, but that’s what you get for being so secretive, I guess. Chongxiao actually wanted the scabbard so a forger could make lots of copies of it, so that Yin Pei can keep the original one. *sigh* Well, too late now. Yin Pei also meets that evil guy from way back in ep 7 or 8 who’d fought Chongxiao and Li Sheng, who calls himself the Black Judge (I’m too lazy to look up his name and hope he doesn’t really become that relevant). 

I’m kinda sad that Yin Pei simply seems to go the “Oops I’m super crazy now“ route instead of having a more interesting redemption arc. I also... don’t really know what he wants to do now? He’s got the scabbard of his father... Are there still people alive he could take revenge on? Disha I guess?

But! The song that plays while Yin Pei confronts Chongxiao is awesome! I'm in love.♥

Back to the main characters, thank you! Xie Yun is really ill and freezing, the poison taking its toll. He’s at the same inn as two new characters (noooo, no more characters, have mercy!) Zhu Chen and Zhu Ying of the small Zhu sect, who are there for that assembly. They eye XY and feel sorry for him. We instantly know that these are Good People.

Aaaaaand introducing another new character, Ying Hecong, Poison Doctor! I know he’s relevant because he’s got a poster!

Of course Zhou Fei just misses Xie Yun in that inn. *sigh* But then she meets Li Yan and Yang Jin there, which is nice. 

Yet another new character!  He’s Black Tortoise Ding Kui and has henchman that are dressed in a rather peculiar way. Is this now the same as with that Azure Dragon guy, and I don’t really have to remember him? He’s from the 4 Guardians Mountain (speaking of which, where tf is Mu XiaoQiao!?).

Okay okay I see now. Everyone is in LingLing for that meet up with the Huo family! Madame Nichang is there too! Ah my beloved! ♥ She tells Xie Yun to follow his heart, and not be stupid and only think of his end. 

Xie Yun is all evasive of course, and then he meets up with Cheng Zichen who of course is also there! Because of this he finds out that Zhou Fei is there, too, which puts him into a conflict. Because his running away was going so well, dammit!

On to Ep 28!

Xie Yun hides out in the carriage with Ling Yu of the Feather Robe Troupe, who slyly comments on him running away from Zhou Fei. He’s sad and says that it’s not A-Fei’s fault and that he’s just an unlucky person who is not good for her. T_T Kill me, why don’t you.

A-Fei has learned a lot and notices XY’s ruse, yay go my heroine!♥

She catches him and they fight, and she asks him about the poison. Zhou Fei obviously suspects ahhhh! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ But of course when XY seems happy that she was looking for him, she goes all haughty again and is like, “It’s only because of the HYTS!“ (although no it was mainly because of him and she looks light she might burst into tears any moment now, too...)

They get distracted by the procession of Black Tortoise Master walking by and A-Fei knocks XY out. They’re even now! XD

Nice to see the whole gang together as A-Fei drags the unconscious Xie Yun to an inn! ChuChu my beloved! ♥

OMG Li Sheng and Yang Jin getting into this peacock fight! XD Li Sheng scolds his sister and Yang Jin is super pissed about it. Li Yan is looking sooo smug, like “Yep that's my very own protective himbo!“ XD

Then Li Sheng is sent off to find Madame Nichang because she at least might know what to do about Xie Yun.

Ding Kui arrives at the Hui Fort. If I understood correctly... Hui Lintao wants to... kill all the cultivators when they arrive for his assembly? Or just those other cultivators that are randomly attacking him? There's traps in the forest they have go through. He specifically mentions that the traps are set after Daoist Master Chongxiao’s design, so hm might Li Sheng be of great help here later? Anyway, that old guy from Disha is there and seems to find all of this very funny. I’m confused.

Mu Xiaoqiao my love!!!!!!! He’s back!!!!  For about 5 seconds but there he is, looking fabulous! ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

Ding Kui (who... has left the Huo Fort I guess) wants to work with him and reminds him of his debt to the Huo Fort. I had forgotten about that.

Oh let’s check in for about a minute on Yin Pei, who is still crazy and slaughters some people... uhm somewhere. He also now calls himself the true Master of Clear Light. [at least I think it’s supposed to be his new name?] Nicely written on the door in blood. Okay then.

But the instrumental of his song plays in the background, making all of this much more epic, so it’s fine.

Madame Nichang arrives, is shocked, and states that Xie Yun is poisoned, as A-Fei feared, and he has a year if he doesn’t use his internal force anymore. A-Fei is devastated and we get their love song while she rubs his (supposedly) ice-cold hand. Oh my heart. T_T

Ying Hecong arrives because he wants to see the poisoned guy! XD He has never heard of tact. 

Since A-Fei is desperate she lets him in, and we get some exposition in bits and pieces. Ying Hecong first assumes that XY must’ve been poisoned about a month ago (which fits the fight against Disha, where he used the needle), but wonders how that could be because Lian Sheng (the poisoner known for bone piercing blue) has been missing for a while longer. He lets slip that he isn’t actually a doctor, uhm yeah....

Oh not A-Fei is so sad and crying, nooooo T_T She’s angry at XY, asking why he had to meddle in her affairs and then leave to just die somewhere alone. Oh nooooo.  ಥ_ಥ ಥ_ಥ ಥ_ಥ

(side note: easy scene for Wang Yibo, just lying there the whole time, no lines for once XD)

A-Fei gets the Tianmen Lock from Madam Nichang (a special lock that has a double lock mechanism that is very difficult to open. Md. Nichang actually alludes to this lock being very useful for lovers and I’m like... okay XD). YunFei are kinky as ever, nothing new here – A-Fei is so pissed at XY that she doesn’t want him to have the chance to run away again. XD

Loved how XY complained about the lock destroying his posture. XD And how Zhou Fei’s like, “It’s not my fault you’re bound like that, Li Sheng is to blame!“ while the flashback tells us, that uhm no, he’s not. XD

Ending with A-Fei telling Yang Jin about the Hai Tian Yi Se. Ah they’re important relics it seems. Well whatever. XY listens in.

I really need to keep on watching, it seems stuff is happening.

[im-no-jedi]

soooooooo idk why I haven’t shared this up until now, but yes, this is in fact a playlist for the Misfits c:

this has been my go-to playlist for pretty much everything ever since I created it last year. I listen to it in the car, in the shower, when I’m writing, or anytime I need a pick-me-up. I’m sure I’ll be adding more songs to it at some point, but 26 is a pretty big number imo LOL

here’s a list of the songs and descriptions of why I think they fit the Misfits:

Immortals - Fall Out Boy: we’re Guardians. we’re immortal. nuff said.

Reckless - Jaxson Gamble: sometimes it’s good to have a well thought out plan. and sometimes it’s good to be spontaneous. but most of the time? just do whatever tf you want. who cares if you break everything. just mcfrickin’ lose it, my dude.

Radioactive - Imagine Dragons: we live in a war. no matter what anybody says, we are always at war. it’s messy and it’s gritty and it takes a lot out of us. but we’re ready for it. bring it on, suckers.

Burn - Ellie Goulding: as Guardians, we have what some might call “superhero powers”. between blasting dozens of different kinds of firearms at the enemies, to popping off our Super abilities at any given moment, we light up the place wherever we go. subtlety is not in our vocabulary. (also Solar is the best subclass, fight me c:)

Breakthrough - Britt Nicole: being a Guardian means that you’re totally fearless and are ok with doing anything asked of you, right? LOL NOPE. we may have super powers, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t human. each of us have something we’re afraid of, and it can feel like those fears are holding us back. but we press on. we fight. we beat back the fears and evils of this world. “Destiny can’t be denied.”

Live Like Legends - Ruelle: each of us have done some pretty cool stuff, not gonna lie. we’re legit godslayers, yo B)

We Will Rock You - Queen: I had to put this one in here, come on. come on.

We Are The Champions - Queen: see above comment XD

Heroes - Zayde Wolf: the Darkness is all around us. it’s been trying to suppress the Light ever since the Traveler arrived on Earth. some of us even dabble in the Darkness. but we will bring light to the darkest places.

Infinite (Unsung Heroes) - Built By Titan feat. Joel Smallbone: sometimes it’s the little things that make the biggest impact. we don’t only slay gods. we do what we do for the ones who can’t protect themselves. and we don’t need the fanfare (despite what Rocky wants LOL). 

Digital - Imagine Dragons: “I want a new world without the order, I wanna resurrect and live a little shorter.” “We don’t wanna change, we just wanna change everything.”

Immigrant Song - Led Zeppelin: legit just imagine that scene at the end of Thor Ragnarok when the Revengers are all fighting together and that’s a stereotypical strike for the Misfits LOL

Welcome to the Show - Britt Nicole: ok, ngl, some of us are kiiiiind of full of ourselves (callin you out Uldren and Rocky :P). it’s kinda hard not to, being literal godslayers and all. so it’s no wonder we like to be a bit flashy when we work. might as well put on a show while we’re killing things, right??

Up Up and Away - Blush: all Guardians have a spaceship, it’s how we travel from planet to planet, so we all know how it feels to fly. some of us are... not so great at piloting (*cough*Rocky*cough*), but the ability to fly is something we all experience on an almost daily basis. it’s a perfect metaphor for the pure thrill we experience as Guardians.

Determinate - Lemonade Mouth: you know when you think up those weird AUs for your characters like, oh let’s say, a band AU or something like that? yeah...

Warriors - Imagine Dragons: I have most definitely thought of a medieval AU for these guys before. no, I will not elaborate further.

Guardian - Lindsey Sterling: I mean... do I even need to explain this one. it’s... it’s right there, come on :P

Skullclub - The Glitch Mob: this is one of those songs I imagine playing in the background during one of our missions, kind of like Immigrant Song. also, literally the only lyrics in this song are “we are the wild ones”, so yeah, it fits XD

Pizza - Martin Garrix: same as above, another song I imagine playing in the background during a mission. and in a modern AU, our go-to after mission meal (our shawarma, if you will) would absolutely be pizza c:

Meet Me on the Battlefield - Svrcina: for Matt. this song can honestly apply to the team dynamic as a whole, but lbr, nobody on the team is more willing to lay down their life for the others than my sweet hansom cowboy ♥♥♥

What’s Up Danger - Blackway & Black Caviar: for Rocky. oh Rocky. you reckless wonder. always living for the thrill and the glory. you big himbo, you.

Believer - Imagine Dragons: for Isaac. for a man of very few words, you sure do have a lot to say. you act aloof, but I know you care as much, if not more, than everyone else around you. your past hardened you, but you persevered and took control of your own life. people think they know this world. they think they know you. prove them wrong, precious.

The Dark of You - Breaking Benjamin: for Uldren. I could write an entire essay about why this is literally his theme song. oh man. I just... I’m sorry, Uldren. I’m sorry the world has been wicked to you. you deserved better ;3;

Confident - Demi Lovato: for Marvel. you do NOT mess with this girl. she will frick you up, and she will ENJOY it. you go girl. literally \o/

Vertical - T-Squad: for Ace. my energetic ball of sunshine. always doing his best while still striving to do better. you can’t stop this boy. you just can’t. there he go.

We Are Giants - Lindsey Sterling feat. Dia Frampton: alright, this one’s... kind of for me. I made the decision to self-insert into this story, and I haven’t regretted it once. and yes, I made myself the “main character” and “more powerful” or whatever, but you know what? there’s nothing wrong with that. sometimes you need to boost yourself up, and what better way to do that than imagine yourself as a literal godslayer amongst a group of other godslayers that you love more than breathing?? no regrets, yo.

Heroes (We could be) - Alesso feat. Tove Lo: what I consider to be the pinnacle theme for this group (our theme song, if you will). most of these songs are about feeling like you already are a hero as opposed to just the mere thought of being a hero. each of us have come from different walks of life, and although we each have our own unique powers, we choose to use those powers for the good of the world. Guardians aren’t born to be heroes. we choose to be heroes.

[ralfstrashcan]

3x16 Reaction / Commentary

Alec “Proud Puppy” Lightwood

THAT FACE HAHA. Also crêpes man I'm jealous.

Rude man, don't rip him away from his hard earned waffles.

This is so hilarious to me, okay, this prompting hand flick Alec does (which you can't see here because I can't gif, only screenshot ahahaha) man I love it. Sadly I didn't find a gif of this yet, so I can't put one :( I can't even put into words why it's so hilarious to me. And Magnus's sceptical gaze hahaha.

Edit: I FOUND ONE

HAHAHA HELL YEAH

I mean we all knew this was fake, not least because it implies Magnus is wearing the same outfit two days in a row and obviously this would NEVER happen, but also because in no universe does Alec have smooth dance moves. It's a law of nature.

lol is this an innuendo or something because I don't get it, pls help

Tiny waist touch is spotted and highly appreciated.

That scene transition was brilliant and there is nothing else to say about it. I lost count of how many times I've rewatched it because it's awesome. The way Alec's voice sounds slighty off, the way Magnus gets heavier in his arms, the way everything spins out of focus, and Alec's last “Stay with me” sounds almost hard with urgency.

When I first saw this I was legit yelling at the screen why the hell Alec is just shaking him instead of, idk, doing CPR but I did him a grave injustice there because he actually does and I really appreciate that. (Though, if he learned first aid I wonder all the more about 3x12 (or was it 3x13, I lost count lol) where he just lets Sentry Guy die without even trying to save him.)

That being said, I'm really happy we got to see the immediate aftershocks of it because I was half afraid this episode would just start with Magnus in the infirmary bed. Still, I have a question. Who called Catarina? Izzy? Because why is she then so shocked when she learns Magnus is not breathing? When she presumably first entered the room to receive the instruction to call Catarina, did she not... wonder why Alec was cpr-ing him? Or did Magnus not immediately stop breathing after collapsing but just, faded slowly while Alec had already told Izzy to call Catarina? I kinda wanna know the mechanics here.

I mean, no surprise there if you keep killing them?? Ahahaha.

My fangirl brain: What, General Amaya from the Dragon Prince is gonna appear? Sign me the hell up!!!! My rest-brain catching up: No this is not a crossover and no, r is not y and just, no. My fangirl brain: :<

........ignoring the fact that summoning her is super stupid, there's also the tiny detail that they don't have leverage why would she help them are they just gonna say “pretty please”?? I can't believe them.

lol Bohemian if you see this, this panel is only for you to haunt your dreams XD hehehe sorry sorry but I just couldn't resist XD

Wtf I can't believe those words just came out of his mouth. Jace, you're gonna start with a pep talk? You were possessed and forced to do things against your will, you should know better than this. Honestly.

The way his voice goes up, just kill me now.

THIS DETAIL OH MY GOD

I absolutely loved this scene, in terms of acting it was perfect and it was painfully in character for Alec to blame himself for everything that's not going alright with someone he loves. The problem I have however (because come on, there's always a problem with me) is that they genuinely want to tell me that Alec didn't realize Magnus was faking it? Magnus loses his magic and he “doesn't think twice”? I mean, that's either really really insensitive or really really stupid. And Alec might be insensitive sometimes, but not like that and he surely isn't that stupid. So, uh, I don't really like that bit. Again, if he was secretly happy that Magnus's immortality is gone that's one more thing to feel intensely shitty about, I get that, but being secretly glad how things turned out and not realizing the other person is suffering from how things turned out are two entirely different things. And just, tf Alec. He can't possibly be that dense, can he, that he genuinely thought Magnus was okay with this. Even if he thought this was something Magnus could get used to in the long run, he didn't expect him to need some kind of settling-in period? Really??

HELL YEAH I STAN CAT SO HARD IN THIS SCENE. And I'm so glad she's the voice of reason in this.... after deigning to appear at long effing last ahahaha sorry not sorry for that dig XD Look it's not her fault, it's the screen writers'.

I got a soft spot for Simon calling her Fray. Also, high-key loving how they're all sitting there waiting for news and finally acknowledging that something's up with Magnus.

LOL CLARY TELL US HOW YOU REALLY FEEL. Kidding. It was the Evil Rune at work again, even though she's nowhere near fire. Maybe it was the hypnotic neon lights? In any case, this is becoming a real problem lol. (No, tbh I found that outbreak totally hilarious XD)

.............................*sigh* I mean, your fierce determination doesn't change the fact that this plan is doomed to fail and you still don't have any leverage over Lilith, but sure. Go off.

YEAH BECAUSE AS SHE PROVED SHE HAS COMMON SENSE. Though I really hope she also told Alec about this dumb-ass request by his dumb-ass parabatai so he can intervene. But, tbh I don't really expect that to happen. *sigh*

Kill herself and then revive herself, hoping a short moment of death is enough to severe the connection? Or maybe, uh, try to use her rune power to cancel her Evil Rune instead of summoning Lilith??? Just for starters.

WTF I CAN'T BELIEVE I'D SEE THE DAY WHERE  J A C E  IS THE VOICE OF REASON WTF COLOR ME IMPRESSED I LOVE IT

“See, I infused it with a strong dose of Plot Convenience, so that shouldn't be an issue.”

THE PORTRAIT IN THE BACKGROUND HAHAHAHAHAHA

“Why? Why do you hate him so much?” “It's simple. All my life I've had to sit by and watch...”

Thanks for 100% confirming my headcanon, I do love that :)

BAM!!!

I really like the detail that he's so out of breath from the magic, it shows that it was probably more harmful that just a shove back? Oh the questions I want to ask.....

Bitch you're 484 don't round down so much hahaha

Is Lorenzo actually gonna be swayed by this????????????????????? uh

Edit: Ahahaha we later learn he actually is and obviously I had to write a ficlet about it, so uuuuh whatever I'll put it at the end with all my other shameless self promo I'll include in this thing XD

OH YEAH I remember the “Different outfits for different occasions” comment from 2x19 I wonder what she'll wear? The same, or even older??? Btw why does she share a smile with Meliorn as if this is a private joke? Because, like, it isn't.

I mean that's touching and all, but that doesn't change the fact that Lilith loves you and seeing you dead would absolutely tear her apart, thus making this a fitting revenge. Wtf Jonathan this is no sound counterargument.

Hm. Tbh I liked her youngest self best? But she's still cast very well. And I recognize that her talking face to face with Jonathan would have been a little ridic if she only reached his navel XD

Ugh, Bohemian, can you see me rolling my eyes?

lol at least this was funny

OMG Luke could you be any more dramatic, are you actually kidding me. I'm gonna be sick soon if you don't cut the bs.

Wow the first sign of Sizzy that didn't suck, yay! XD this was actually pretty sweet.

Oh you mean that time that Raphael was feeding on her and they were indulging in mutual addiction? Because as soon as Izzy was clean she steered clear of Raphael.

..............................................what happened to “scumbag ex”? Why am I even asking?

?? Yeah? What happened to “While Saia lasted it was the best thing ever?” Then again that was what, three episodes ago? Can't hold him accountable for something that happened so long ago, right.

Hahaha okay that was cute.

1) LOL how hilarious would it be if they summon Lilith and just get her corpse plus Jonathan holding the sword still sticking out of her chest. 2) Jonathan is a true sadist, making her wear those heels. 3) Who's that wheelchair for? I mean, Lilith designed this apartment for her disciples, right?

.................which she doesn't need, since she's no warlock and her powers come from her angel blood, not ley lines. So, points for trying, show, but please don't mix up your races. Makes you look so unprofessional. (Except if this is a hint that shadowhunters also run on ley line energy, have ley line magic flowing through them etc. but honestly I'm not even entertaining the thought because then I'd have a conniption.)

Wtf it's literally standing twenty seconds of intense mindnumbing pain, why the hell would you need a coach for that? Just hold it together and endure it. Also, if they attempt it, 20 bucks say he'll die for some dramatic Sizzy “Oh shit you could really have died, too” moment.

Awww you can really see the love in that touch. <--- sarcasm.

Awww you can really see the love in that touch. <--- no sarcasm.

Honestly, Magnus's touch is natural and familiar (btw love the uncoordinated grabbing) while Alec turns Magnus's chin as if he's trying to make as little physical contact as humanly possible. Is a hand on his cheek really too much to ask for? *sigh*

lol you'd think he'd start with that immediately after Magnus wakes up instead of taking risks (it's what I would have done) but whatever.

He's.... actually there to help? For free? Or is Alec gonna have to hand over the Institute's keys to him when the job is done? Lol. (Also that suit jacket could be straight out of Magnus's closet.)

Oh my God Alec just say he could die. Why sugarcoat it? Say it how it is, and Magnus might listen to you.

.........yeah. This is so relatable and I love how he delivers this line. The desperation is clear, but he's also determined about it. Also, quick question, why didn't Alec get Catarina to be there when Magnus wakes up instead of Lorenzo? I'm not saying it would have changed the outcome but it might just have made Magnus feel less shitty about being exposed to his nemesis in this weak state. Then again I get it, Alec is running on panic and instinct, so consideration is the last thing on his mind.

This scene was amazing. Or, lol, this part of the scene. Magnus's performance is stellar and FYI the next thing he says, the “Look at me! Can you honestly say you like this?” was improvised and that's just ugh so good. Coincidentally this is also where my issues with this scene begin. They're not about how the characters act, I found that part very very fitting; it's meta.

The issue Magnus is having isn't about some fear that Alec won't love him anymore now that he doesn't have his magic anymore. Magnus is projecting. His issue lies within himself. He feels differently about himself, he can't say he likes this, and it's only in conclusion that he assumes it must be the same for Alec. But Alec isn't the root of this issue. But of course it's easier to pretend it's about Alec than to openly admit his severe self-image issues, so that's what Magnus does. Perfectly ic to me. The problem I have here is that if we take what Magnus says at face value it appears that Magnus only wants his magic back so Alec will keep loving him (sidenote: even more if you cross out Harry's addition and just focus on the “You fell in love with the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Can you honestly say you don't feel differently about me?”) and the solution to that is clear: Alec drops some wedding vows, problem solved.

But that's not the problem here. Magnus would literally rather be dead than without his magic and no amount of Alec waxing poetry about him is going to change that. And honestly, I'm so grateful for Harry's addition because that made it abundantly clear to me that Magnus is projecting. His bewildered “Can you honestly say you like this?” is an admittance of “I see what I am now and I can't bear it, so how could you?” If that scene had been about Alec, that would have been so uncalled for.

And also loooool but uuuuuuhhh I found Alec's speech less than impressive? I'm sorry, I know he tried but it just didn't work for me? I felt like it really wasn't up to his usual par. Lol I honestly rolled my eyes when he started about the spark that lights up the room XD It felt impersonal, kinda. It's hard to describe. Of course I can cut him some slack on that, because he was emotionally severely overchallenged in that moment and had to make it up on the fly, but uh. Yeah.

Anyway what I really didn't like was his closing line because it kinda sounded as if he was making that decision for Magnus and that's not his place. It might be dangerous and stupid and “not worth the risk” but Magnus isn't in a place where he should have his authority revoked, so. Kept from gambling with his life, yes. With sound arguments and empathy, yes. With dictation, no. So that didn't go over too well with me. Anyway I channeled that into a ficlet already, too, which I'm also advertising at the end.

......has she just been sitting there for six episodes? Btw I wonder, if Jonathan is happily manipulating Lilith by faking positive emotions towards her I don't get why he totally fell for it every time Clary did the exact same thing to him.

THAT MALICIOUS SMILE HAHAHA THE LITTLE (S)ASS

1) SO SHE'S LITERALLY BEEN SITTING THERE FOR SIX EPISODES?!?!!?!?!

2) Why hello there Plot Point XD srsly why tf would Asmodeus use Magnus's magic instead of his own if, need I remind you, his own demonic magic is stronger than Magnus's, Magnus's wasn't even enough to destroy her demonic possession on Jace.... so why would Magnus's magic be enough to bind Lilith, the mother of that possession, to a room? Uh, lemme guess... Plot Convenience? So when, theory time!, Lilith is slayed he has no need for it anymore and can return it to Magnus?

“...to kill you while you were weakened.”

WOW WHAT A DELIVERY AMAZING

........I gotta be honest, I was really confused at his submissive behavior but then I realized... they have a 10 year history of these mechanisms, and slipping back into the pattern of things must be so easy. Also, I mean, that paints a really wonderful and peaceful image of his formative years, right?

Jimon Shipper Moment <3 ;) Look I don't even ship it, but their bickering is high-key amusing to me.

Instead of just standing between them from the get go? Why?

?????? I guess the incest runs in the family, pun not intended?????? Btw Jonathan's weird incest-y obsession makes so much sense now. If this is literally the only way he ever learned how “familial love” (Lilith Greater Demon Edition) is expressed I have no questions anymore. Seriously, he's so screwed over by everyone and it's just unfair. (On that note, glad we never had to see him make out with Valentine. Some things are just too terrible to envision. Damn, why did I say that, I should just shut up for all of our sakes.) Anyway, back to our favorite tortured soul here, I'm honestly not even sure if I can hold the incest thing against him any longer. His entire life consisted of being raised by Valentine, who kept him in a hut in the woods where he never got to see anyone but him, and then Edom where there was Lilith and demons. It makes a horrifying amount of sense that normal human norms mean nothing to him. He's never lived them, he's never witnessed them and maybe he doesn't even know them. So yeah. I guess I'll just add the incest thing on the long long list of things that are due to the stellar parenting he enjoyed, and not entirely his fault.

Damn so close to see my prognosis come true. Then again, I guess this was just the perfect timing because who knows if Lilith won't even help them now kill Jonathan because betrayal bla bla.

1) No need to twist the knife, then again this is Lorenzo so what am I even expecting.

2) WTF ARE THEY REALLY NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS SOME MORE?!?!?!??!?!

3) If it's like a transplanted organ being rejected by the body, just, idk, look for a different warlock whose magic fits Magnus better? There must be tests for that kind of thing? And even if there isn't, if you go slow and don't immediately portal all over the world plus end an encanto-coma you should be able to tell the magic doesn't fit pretty quickly without going into cardiac arrest. Magnus only got some nosebleed at first, remember, and it got worse only because he didn't slow down. I'm just saying, there would be Ways.

Wow I never realized before that he's actually got an undercut. Makes his hairstyle look even stupider.

Wow I believe this even less now than I did in 3x12.

“Let's hug in these trying times, but please make sure your face doesn't touch mine, otherwise people might draw the absurd and outrageous conclusion that we're in a relationship or something.”

Honestly. Their portrayal of casual intimacy is abysmal and I hate it.

1) The infirmary is very weird and open space for a place that should be easily closable if you need to contain, idk, sick people and their viruses and keep it sanitary. 2) I've been wondering since the start of the episode, did Lorenzo's pony tail get shorter? Wasn't it longer before? 3) At least Malec managed to make their feet intersect minimally, so yay for small mercies.

“One dose of Plot Convenience, coming right up.”

They're just.... gonna torture her? Really? I don't even have words for this. Oh no, I do:

Seriously. It's as if morality isn't a thing, and torturing a sentient being isn't always and under all circumstances a Wrong and Bad thing to do. Because clearly if the person receiving torture is just Evil Enough then it's okay. Thanks for standing by and doing nothing Simon, this is exactly the reason I hate your inconsistent streak on this matter. I don't even expect better from the born shadowhunters, and Clary is way to un-reflected to even twitch but. Ugh. Why am I even wasting my breath (my typing capacity?) on this. It's pointless.

Wow this is pointless, too. I mean, why is Izzy not interfering? She literally just fell down. She shouldn't be out of comission by this. Ugh.

Also ugh to Izzy slinging her whip around his hand instead of, idk, his whole upper body and his arms.

Also ugh to Simon waiting to attack Jonathan until the last second as a heroic saving move to save Izzy which, ugh.

But this here

#AwkwardGrownUpSquad

I'm honestly lol'ing so hard right now. Hahahaha this is just hilarious to me. Then again, who knows, maybe now they'll team up with Jonathan to kill Lilith and I'll get my hopes up again for a redemption arc XD

......................HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Btw I bet you she copied that move from Doctor Strange.

lol another thing I didn't see coming.

1) Hello Hannibal lol 2) Who went in there and put restraints on him? 3) Who's gonna pay that Seelie actress now??

This scene was actually nice? I know, I'm surprised myself.

How convenient. I mean, good thing he didn't say “Glorious” otherwise Izzy might have thought he was asking for that one ESC song to be played at his funeral.

Please, Maryse, don't flatter yourself, all you had to do was scratch Elliot's corpse from the floor boards, the rest was already completely furnished.

..................................................................................................................bye

Look, while part of me is undeniably thrilled at the prospect – because while I was totally rooting for a Malec Wedding I was pretty sure it was an unachievable dream, just like hoping for Sheith – this is exactly what I mean with taking things at face value. Alec takes Magnus at his words (that he has doubts Alec will still love him now that he lost his powers) and so he thinks that a grand gesture of commitment will fix it.

But it won't, because that's not the problem. Or at least I hope it's not the problem, I mean if I lost my arm my main worry would be “Holy shit how am I gonna cope without my trusty appendage” not “What are the neighbors gonna think? Will I still be able to rock my favorite outfit without that limb?”

Anyway. I don't think this'll go over too well at this point in time. And honestly, Alec just realized at the beginning of this episode that he was fooled by Magnus's coping facade and tricked into thinking Magnus would be fine without his magic. And now Magnus has lost is magic again and Alec just... makes the same mistake again, blindly believing the words coming out of Magnus's mouth instead of taking a look for himself and seeing how Magnus is faring? Did he learn nothing from this? Alec. Why are you like this.

Anyway, conclusion time: This episode was way more reasonably paced than the last, the shit decision making was kept to a minimum (except for the part where they, y'know, summon Lilith back to earth) and Jace gets a diligence starlet for displaying common sense.

And now, self advertisement time! I wrote three ficlets: a) a continuation of the scene with Alec and Lorenzo b) a gap-bridging Malec scene set after the “I won't lose you” line and finally c) a what-I'd-like-to-see-happen-in-3x17-fic where Alec tells Izzy about his proposal plans.

I'd be thrilled if you checked one of them out. Until next time XD

(Gif Source)

[bwprowl]

There’s a variety of interesting stuff to go over tonight. Takaratomy finally drops details on some of their most anticipated TF pre-orders, while on the other side FunPub looks to liquidate their assets. We’ve also got classic villains in tiny form, classic stretchy pets, and classic hard-to-use henshins, plus some passes at those aforementioned leftover exclusives. This is Tuesday Night Toys!

New Stuff: Master Braces

I was eagerly awaiting seeing how Takaratomy would handle their release of the Overlord toy, and we finally got information on it just as the pre-orders went up next week. Their version of the late-G1 tyrant will be done in slightly darker, Masterforce-anime-accurate colors, will have Godmaster engines in those slots in his chest, and include *two* Titan Masters, representing Mega and Giga, and seemingly having differentiated faces denoting which is in control of the main body at the time. So yeah, this means you can now have big girl Overlord, which is awesome. Overall, it’s about what I was hoping for, and I’ve thrown down a pre-order for it, content to pass any of the Hasbro version I see in stores until next year.

They also showed what the new Masterpiece Targetmaster Hot Rod will look like and…oh man you guys. He’s explicitly based on the incorrectly-applied color model used by notoriously poor G1 animation studio AKOM. I mean, they’ve done stuff like this before with things like MP Shockwave’s extra hand and tiny gun accessories, but this is some next-level dedication to the source material. It’s great, I love that these high-end collector’s pieces are specifically based on Bad Animation.

Speaking of collector’s collectibles, the next Legacy item from Bandai of America’s super-nice line of roleplay recreations was revealed to be the Zeonizer, the transformation device from the first full reinvention of the Power Rangers line. If previous ones like the Morpher, Dragon Dagger, and Communicator are any indication, this thing will be super high-end, though I’m not sure if that will preclude making it easier to actually use than the classically fiddly model.

Wishlist: Bone Bag

So Fun Publications is out the Transformers license this year, and as such they’ve opened their club store to all comers, so you can head there and see how much you want to plunk down for everything from old annual storybooks to box sets from BotCons past to unassembled kits of custom figures. The costs are wide-ranging from ‘fair’ to ‘insane’, but they’ve been doing sales intermittently where things get nicely cheap. I took advantage of some of those myself, so see below.

It’s pretty pleasant to me that Stretch Armstrong has been back on toy shelves for a while now. That classic-style big one Hasbro trotted out must have done well, as classic expansions to the line have been released as well now. In addition to a nicely sized 7-inch Stretch (deedle-eedle) you can also get a stretchy Octopus and the outstandingly-named Fetch Armstrong. I hear scuttlebutt of Hasbro wanting to expand this classic character with a movie or comic or something soon, and I’m all for it, especially if it means more goofy stretchin’ stuff on shelves.

I was also just recently clued in that Mega Bloks Mega Construx has added some MOTU characters to their line of tiny, posable mini-figures, and that includes an itty-bitty Skeletor. This is outstanding, I’m going to need it.

On Desk: Club Soda

So as mentioned above, FunPub has been intermittently clearancing toys from their imminently-closing shop, so I was able to snag some exclusives of theirs that I’ve had my eye on for some time. First up is Leozack, from the Wings of Honor BotCon theme that I found honestly incomprehensible. But dumb Chevy Chase homages and pointless Scourge inclusions aside, Leozack always appealed anyway, by virtue of being an homage to a cool classic Japanese character and simply looking very very pretty. The toy got another boost later when stories used this design as the basis for a new take on Leozack’s extra-obscure sister Lyzack, and at that point I kinda needed it somehow. This one lives up to my expecations. She’s even prettier in person, with a lot of the paint not just being metallic, but *sparkly*, and really great shades used for the teal and off-white. Some of the weapon configurations are a bit loose, and I’m wary of the clear plastic on an exclusive toy like this, but otherwise, super happy to have her.

Next up I got Ramjet, and oh you guys, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to explain to you how much I love Universe Ramjet. He’s a nothing, one-off tail-end store exclusive in color scheme no one cared about, and the first Club comics (which I actually got the trade paperback of) went and made him a psychotic eldritch-abomination-serving gross perpetual loser. I love him. So getting this streamlined new toy of this stupid jackass, which does a bang-up job of turning his original ‘whatever’ color scheme into something tweaked to be a bit classier, is kind of a watershed moment for me. I was so into this toy that I *seriously* considered joining the club earlier when he was initially revealed, and I’m glad I didn’t, because getting him this way was way easier.

The last one is Nova Prime, and it’s becoming clear to me that I might have a thing for robots with snappy white color schemes. Nova Prime isn’t quite as sharp as he looked in pictures (his white, especially on his head, isn’t as crisp as I’d like) but it’s still a very nice color scheme, and this is a good mold that’s a fitting choice for ol’ Jerkwad Jackson. The axe and its clear blue compliments him nicely. Also, due to club-story toy-substitution shenanigans, he counts as a toy of an alternate version of the immortally hilarious Shattered Glass Optimus Prime, and that’s always an advantage.

So yeah, I’m pretty dang pleased with procuring these toys. I was never crazy about a lot of FunPub’s output or their general business practices, so I don’t shed a lot of tears for their passing (this is literally the first time I’ve bought anything from them). I’ll happily pull these crates off the sinking ship while I’ve got the opportunity. They’re pretty crates.

Hope you enjoyed that, and enjoy the rest of your night, everyone! Have fun!

[thewomaninlilywhite]

Miss Peregrine’s Movie Reactions

I finally watched this movie on a flight last weekend.

***WARNING CONTAINS SPOILERS*** NOT JUST FOR THE MOVIE, I REFERENCE THINGS FROM ALL THREE BOOKS AS WELL anything with various *** marks is something I didn’t fact check, so I apologize if I am actually wrong about any of those

Sorry that this is so freaking long, but I had issues Also, these are the things I wanted to say to my screen, so I don’t have context for them, sorry

Short Version: I thought the movie itself was well done, but it’s an awful adaption

I didn’t know Georgia Pemberton was in this Opening credits music cuts off oddly Who is this chick driving him Abe doesn’t sound Polish ?? Did it really take that long to get to his house? Aight Sam Jackson I miss Spike (I know that isn’t his name) - like, I don’t think this chick has a gun on her Chick = Shelley Oh she does But it’s a .38 not a .44*** so… I feel like this happened rather fast? Don’t think that’s a letter opener either Find Emerson - it’s “find the old man, get to the bird in the loop” or whatever 1943???? Not 1940 Who tf is Emerson Told him what, we haven’t even been told about the stories ????? WTF is that. That is NOT a hollowghast A hollow is only like 8-10 feet not 3 f king stories (unless I misread the books) ——-side note: I always subconsciously pictured the hollows as something (from some movie or something) that I know they didn’t actually look like buttttt) Who’s this shrink. Shouldn’t she be Sam Jackson - what? Case. CLOSED - sorry AWE “everything’s already been discovered” - iconic!!! Tikrisko?? -  Yakov!! NO Jake doesn’t see the pictures until they’re going through the house ?? What is this He doesn’t know what Miss Peregrine’s name is nor that she can turn into a bird He’s not supposed to know the names Bronwyn is older No Emma can create fire, olive floats THIS IS OLIVE Nope, Alma found him. He wasn’t sent this. His family died Doesn’t know what hollows look like. Finds that out when Abe dies All these Jakes are adorable Can they not say Nazis? Because he’s being very nondescriptive The surprise party ong Why are there twins. I’m uncomfortable oh my gosh the essays, at least they did something right Shouldn’t the letter be from Emma ugh So that’s Goland? what the heck Oh now they bring up the birdwatching The doctor isn’t supposed to know about the home*** Cairnholm - good Nope I’m yelling Not supposed to see the bird until they’re in the room And his father isn’t supposed to know Alma Ugh 19 minutes in and I’m screaming I relate to Jake on a spiritual level Whet Defeats the whole sneaking away trust ugh He’s so tiny YAS he shoulda said piss instead of priest but the  rap was nearly verbatim* What is this river? Where’s the sheep shack Wondrous Exactly how i pictured it Where’s the old man Oh that’s how Emerson falls in Jake is supposed to have his own room ugh Oh so he is sneaky But where’s the cairn AND THE OLD MAN the twins aren’t introduced until the second book Enoch’s lair is supposed to be in the basement -The kids and the hole. It’s iconic They’re not supposed to address him Whet I hate this I don’t even know where to begin the twins shouldn’t exist And Millard shouldn’t have clothes on There’s just so many issues This is not a bog UGH this is not wrong it’s sickening the twins are pissing me off oh my gosh -Tim just fell in love with them, didn’t he Okay, the cairn is not how I imagined it but I’ll live They literally didn’t even address the priest hole This is 20s music not 40s ong Goodness Oh now he stripped Why is Millard like 7 And he hasn’t even formally met Emerson yet what is going on He’s not supposed to be taken He’s not supposed have this much information yet Whet Olive and Emma’s powers are switch gosh This like isn’t Yea Alma? Kinda appreciate it though like #relatable And Enoch is supposed to be much younger I give up. I’m going to take a break until Goland arrives … if he arrives GEORGIA IS FIONA OH MY GOSH. I CAN OVERLOOK THE HAIR BECAUSE I LOVE HER Imbrin NOT Imbrine - book 3 literally tells you this Now I’m on break 30 minutes later…Jk: Yes Enoch/Victor Hi bird man - you’re ANOTHER new actor “Air - it does what I want” - what does that even mean olive. I mean Emma Since olive’s supposed to be like 10 the photographs At least some are taken from the books Baron - so like forget Jack/Bentham Guess there won’t be sequels rip Hollows can’t enter loops I’m still annoyed by this At least they got the tentacle right Actually it was controlling them but you don’t know that yet Oh, so they ARE  called hollows - good Disaster of 1908 - wait. Is the experiment address in the first book**** Because if not this means that Burton has read the other books and there should not be this many issues Oh so Burton Didn’t acknowledge the immortality first Well it’s the souls in the first book But the third book acknowledged the eyes so… THEREFOR there should be more hollows than that jeez Disaster of 1908 - Siberia - ANYTHING ??? Oh, second book ref So bird man’s not one of the identities? Jk he probs is Yup whey No. That’s not it. There are several issues Yea? Hollows. Can’t. Enter. Loops The twins are annoying me Is it a hint that there won’t be a sequel Whey IT CANT ARRIVE HERE GAH Alma my bby This would be so much better if it was Jack cuz I love any good sibling showdown Or, are they setting up a second? but they can’t with the whole baron thing because if he’s not her brother, he can’t disguise himself as a falcon Miss Avocet is still with them ?? *sings* she should have been kidnapped toooo That’ll surely screw up the space/time continuum There we go Wait. Did it just eat her?? So much for a sequel That thing shouldn’t even be there Oh wait, yes it can cuz it’s an evolved one. Right!!!!!!!!! If they’re not doing a sequel, they better not kill Fiona and Claire now* awe they never got to bury Victor’s body… Ugh, but the freezer scene is iconic No lighthouse scene either Wait, there’s an half hour left ?? And why Blackpool and not London - what are you doing with your life Really The tiny boat though !!! Goodness I’m so mad Right, of course, let’s steal the sunken CRUISE SHIP No she won’t, because they’re in 1940 But it’s 1940 1943, way after the disaster of 1908 so it doesn’t work that way You literally CREATED plot holes Bloody hell You’re literally wrong Aughck Still saying Ymbryne wrong… What are you doing So no other movies… rip #salty Oh it’s blackpool instead of london because it’s closer to wales. gotcha Oh look, they reference London and the loop in the tube —but not the one in ST. PAUL’S ya know, WHERE THEY FIND THE TWINS ————-AKA the key inspiration for my crossover fic that’ll never happen Where’d everyone else go The story book is one of the best parts of the series, c'mon Whey What are those *eye roll* SIEZE ONE YAKOV and this is books two She literally left those shoes at the home what is this inconsistency ??? Sorry, no sympathy, Malthus That sounds like your problem So unnecessary Such a Burton Movie-esque score jeez Actually LAUGHED at the hollow getting hit by a car goodness Well, that’s one way to kill a Wight Wait, was it ever acknowledged that they’re called wights? Oh, of course, skeletons What is this music I just want Jake to shoot Baron What the f YAKOV They got the black blood thing* —-that was a thing, right I’m over it oh poor you Eye-dly ??? I hate myself Why are they turning into animals ??? What is Horace’s peculiarity supposed to be in this because it’s like wrong ??? Death by flowers - I appreciate it Nope Cuz Enoch just carries hearts on him wait, that’s actually true nvm WHERE did that elephant come from so the twins are medusa? cause I just thought their scream was piecing Cuz then that stone thing’s so not their pecu- I give up Oh, Fiona and Claire are little so let’s kill Olive WHICH IS IRONIC BECAUSE SHES LIKE 10 IN THE BOOKS oh, true love’s kiss wakes the dead. OKAY I’m so done I don’t even know what’s happening anymore Was that supposed to be funny? YAS Alma Hopefully it’s not Alma though Why is she blue ? I just processed that Why would he stop him Oh right shape shifting Ugh IM PECULIAR yo. You’re opportunity was right there WAIT IS HE CONTROLLING IT but does it count if it’s a wight’s eyes Like, why would a hollow attack a wight UNLESS JAKE MADE IT So, no one’s dead? but how is he supposed to get home - you don’t have an Ymbryme !! Wait Alma’s alive nvm So are they gonna kiss or what Well okay then Aren’t they in 1943 though ?? Nice timing Shouldn’t he have missed calls from his dad? Why is Abe alive? Oh, right. blah Why I just I’m cringing No, you’re supposed to say “but you know WHEN they are” Goodness Right of course. So he’s just gonna live in 1943 now okay Do his parents like even know ANYTHING Are they dead? Sure okay Wow right LONDON Oh now they kiss It’s titanic I love Georgia Damn, it was Alma Why isn’t she with them, she’s their Ymbryne Oh they just needed the dramatic shot Mary Poppins is a rogue Ymbryne Crossover fic - it’s happening I actually started writing it when I reread the books over winter break, but haven’t committed to it because of ALNF… What is this credits music ?? I just don’t even know what to say I think I would have enjoyed it if I never read the books but since I did… AND NO SEQUEL the whole Devil’s Acre sequence is sick (and I also love Sharon) and I also just wrote an essay on these books sooo

Well, there. Here are my thoughts on Tim Burton’s Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children

If you actually read all these, mad props. Shoot me an ask and let’s chat about it

[baekuras]

About the "Get to know me!" ... All of them? X3

//cracks knucklesHERE I GO TELLING YOU EVERYTHING ABOUT MAGNIFICENT ME!

1. What is you middle//full name?My only name is Dalia and my last name which I won’t tell you, I don’t have a middle name

2. How old are you?17 years old and dying

3. What is your birthday?May 23rd!

4. What is your zodiac sign?Gemini~

5. What is your favorite color?Red nd Black nd Purple nd that one Blue is nice too

6. What’s your lucky number?Idk if its lucky but I like 7

7. Do you have any pets?Had fish and budgies before, got a single rabbit now who is 6 and still kicking like a youngster, he is great and nice and I honestly expected him to be dead by now because the others died so early but...thats good

8. Where are you from?Germany~

9. How tall are you?Like, 170cm

10. What shoe size are you?...I have no idea if you measure shoes differently in america/anywhere but here I am a 38

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?...I am not sure but I’d guess about 10? Maybe 2 or so more?

12. What was your last dream about?The one where a certain dragon king sniped an immortal black wizard and furries&co fought against gods

13. What talents do you have?Reading fast, determination

14. Are you psychic in any way?Idk if thats psychic but my gut is usually right? I dont think I am though

15. Favorite song?Right now I am Metal Gear Rising trash so....anything that played while Sam was being sassy on screen probably

16. Favorite movie?Dragon Riders probably

17. Who would be your ideal partner?Immortality, a good life, more art, all the animals

18. Do you want children?Whats a child can you eat it?

19. Do you want a church wedding?I would either go full fancy so yes w/ a big ass trip showing off how amazing me and my partner areOr just keep it lowkey, depends

20. Are you religious?Nah, on paper yes still but that will change soon because I won’t pay the church money if I don’t even go there

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?Yep, but only to visit, I myself was only at the childs doctor and dentist and idk if that rly counts

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?I tried to steal chocolate once because I didn’t have enough money...it didn’t work I am not a good thief apparently

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?Myself every time I look in the mirror~But no

24. Baths or showers?SHOWERS! Except if you wanna relax and not wash yourself, then baths I guess

25. What color socks are you wearing?Gray(should have asked yesterday, those were warm, comfy red and black striped ones!

26. Have you ever been famous?For what? My huge ego and mood swings and anxiety and depression?Idk I don’t think I ever was or am right now, but I have gotten more “famous” so that’s cool

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?Not like super big, no, but maybe big enough so that I can live comfortable or smth? I don’t want ALL the attention, only sometimes, but all the drama there...urgh no thanks

28. What type of music do you like?ALL

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?Nope

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?2!

31. What position do you usually sleep in?Right side or stomach, with head turned to right side, maybe one leg up

32. How big is your house?Lower floor, 4 rooms,bath,floors,cellar part,big enough though

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?NothingToast with something,or bread with something, on weekends though

34. Have you ever fired a gun?God I wish but no

35. Have you ever tried archery?Once! On a school festival! I wanna do it more and again but I can’t go into some club bc STRESS AND ALL THE SCHOOL AND FUCK HUMAN INTERACTIONS but i love it! I would love to actually ride on a horse doing so too because I love both, horse riding and archery!

36. Favorite clean word?Cat... karandasch sounds super nice too but it literally just means pencil(still,russian has some nice sounding words)

37. Favorite swear word?ALL OF THEM, mostly used one is fuck

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?2 days

39. Do you have any scars?Just look at my left arm/handOne on the upper arm,one on the lower, one on the thumb, on on the hands inside, one on its back, maybe one on the...pointing finger...INDEX FINGERI treasure them tbh also they are pretty small except the one on the lowert arm and inner hand

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?I think I had once? People said so? But idk myself didnt care enough

41. Are you a good liar?Yep

42. Are you a good judge of character?I try

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?No

44. Do you have a strong accent?Dont think so

45. What is your favorite accent?Ones I understand without trouble

46. What is your personality type?INFP

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?Can’t remember

48. Can you curl your tongue?Not anymore

49. Are you an innie or an outie?Innie

50. Left or right handed?Right

51. Are you scared of spiders?Sometimes

52. Favorite food?CHICKENBREAST FILET W/ RICE AND SAUCE!!!!

53. Favorite foreign food?those crunchy chicken..things you can get at a chinese place? they are like...orangy? Pdoes that count i remeber loving them i want them and i wanna do them myself °^°

54. Are you a clean or messy person?Mess

55. Most used phrased?as if I’d notice that...(no rly idk)

56. Most used word?(also dunno)

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?10mins once i actually get up,otherwise 45mins+

58. Do you have much of an ego?...Yes and also no but yes

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?Suck  them more than bite

60. Do you talk to yourself?ALL the time

61. Do you sing to yourself?all the singing time

62. Are you a good singer?....no

63. Biggest Fear?Being left by everyone I think? idk everything is going to shit anyway and here I sit, sipping a cup of cacao

64. Are you a gossip?Not rly

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?idk

66. Do you like long or short hair?BOTH! BOTH IS GREAT OMG!Long hair-you can do SO MUCH with it like style wise and short hair just looks rly amazing too its just so niiiiice to have too and aRGH HAIR IN GENERAL IS AMAZING AND I LOVE IT!

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?Bro, I cant even name all states of germany how tf am I supossed to tell americas states? We got Washington...Texas apparently exists,canada is on top of america, there is a place called new york...and other cities and states and stuffThats all thats my american knowledgeAnd OhioI know that nameprob ore when I read them but states? all 50? no

68. Favorite school subject?...the last one of the day

69. Extrovert or Introvert?Introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?Nope,but would like too astho I cant get under water

71. What makes you nervous?everything

72. Are you scared of the dark?Eh, idk, depends?

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?Sometimes?

74. Are you ticklish?//backs off....no

75. Have you ever started a rumor?Nope

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?...none I remember

77. Have you ever drank underage?Have been asked to by my mum bc new years and all that but no

78. Have you ever done drugs?Also no

79. Who was your first real crush?I never ever ever had a real crush

80. How many piercings do you have?None

81. Can you roll your Rs?“A bit

82. How fast can you type?HIGHSPEED

83. How fast can you run?snail speed

84. What color is your hair?Brown!

85. What color is your eyes?Brown or green and anything in between

86. What are you allergic to?Nothing except stupid people and school

87. Do you keep a journal?A dream one

88. What do your parents do?Fuck me up?My legal guardian mum is cleaning buildings and whateverMy biological mum is driving around to assist the elderly in their homesAnd idk about my dad

89. Do you like your age?Ya

90. What makes you angry?AllBeing ignore,d not taken serious, not understood, being made fun off, my friends being made fun off, having my words twisted around, illogial thinking stupid assholes that deserve to burn in hell being around me and trying to talk to me...My favourite character being treated like shit writing wiseAnimal crueltyPeople cruelty altho I am so done w/ people most of the time that I am just like "Oh again?" which is kinda sad but its still fucked up

91. Do you like your own name?I LOVE IT!

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?NOPEBtw i read some nice names on toilet doors in school...."Why did you give me that name?""It was written on my old schools toilet door...the second one""...wtf is wrong w/ you"would be the convo then tho

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?I want a dog

94. What are you strengths?DETERMINATION

95. What are your weaknesses?LIVING!

96. How did you get your name?IDK!

97. Were your ancestors royalty?....i doubt it

98. Color of your room?White and gray and also red also some blacks there

99. Color of your bedspread?....it...changes? Bed itself is white and black but...the rest changes?

100. Make up your own questionkaro you have failed me y u do dis, y