#but also he’s been training bobby to do that this whole time so idk lol

[anonymous-dentist]

Like okay I thought maybe q!spiderbear could make up somehow but no shot roier doesn’t let bobby murder the shit out of spreen in the future now

[hyporheicflow]

ok, (this might be long so bear with me here i’m sorry) i got the very bright idea to try and braid my hair last night since i’ve been letting my mullet grow longer than usual, i’m too lazy to cut it but also i kinda want to see how long i can let it grow anyways, that shit was hard. i spent more time than i even want to think about trying to do a dutch braid up the back of my head and then i still had to do the top half to meet back it was a serious test in my patience, dexterity, and (most importantly) arm strength. i almost forgot just how difficult it can be to braid your own hair, and it’s just so much worse when you can barely hold onto it

but now, all i can think about is little mullet boba (maybe just as he’s growing his hair out to the length it is later on? idk, but the point is it’s not super long) trying to figure out how he’s gonna fit it under his helmet since now it’s too long to just leave alone and so i’m just picturing little boba sitting there trying (and mostly failing) to braid his mullet up, while fennec just watches on in amusement because “no fennec, i don’t want or need help” (i like to think there’s an unholy amount of bobby-pins and maybe a few sparkly clips involved to keep it all together those first few times) or maybe, alternatively, boba realises just how hard it is and agrees to let fennec braid his hair instead until it’s long enough for him to do it with less struggle. either way, the mental image of baby mullet boba trying to figure out his braids has been haunting me all day and i needed to share

first off can i just say my favorite asks are when people with mullets come here to tell me about them lmfao <3 it feels like such a specific corner of the internet i’ve accidentally cultivated considering i don’t actually have a mullet myself!! but i do have very long hair rn so i completely feel you on the braiding lol

 (also i saw your follow up and you’re right, reqs aren’t open rn, but i was already on this train of thought and am always in the mulletverse mood lol so enjoy some rougher sketches and some context lmfao)

and yes!! it is absolutely my hc that fennec teaches him (idk how long you’ve been here but my thoughts here are an extension of the baby fennec as zam wesell’s protégée verse that i played around with a while back) and boba is allergic to asking for help so it’s a whole thing and fennec teases him relentlessly about his first few attempts...

the other thing i’ve been thinking about re: helmet braids is fennec’s threading...i’m not sure what the costumers were inspired by for it but i personally was reminded of hair tapes like this (painting is from 1586, unknown artist):

i imagine that added structure would be really helpful with layered hairstyles like boba’s mullet lmfao...

anyway from there i got into the idea of fennec teaching boba how to do these hair tape styles to keep the helmet hair to a bit more manageable level lol

(and here are some rough sketches of how that could look (one based on fennec’s, one based on an alternate padmé costume i drew a while back)

[multivstx]

Karate Kid/Cobra Kai survey

Thanks for the tag!! I’m currently avoiding my school work. So this is perfect @ceruleangold🥳 and thanks @macchios for the tag!! <3

It’s the year 2021 and you’re obsessed with The Karate Kid. How are you feeling?:

Who wouldn’t wanna obsess over karate boys!?!

Did you grow up with TKK or are you new to the series?:

I grew up with the Jaden Smith one lol, which I know is forbidden to talk about and I can totally understand why. The OGs are where it’s at and CK literally comes from it!! But in a way kinda, but not really I don’t know. I did love it and actually did karate as a kid. So if I did see the OG i would have deff been as obsessed as i’am now. 

My mom however did see it in theaters so i was destined to see it eventually, even tho i’m mad at the fact that for some reason didn’t care for it too much, but little did she know she would have a daughter who obsesses over it everyday and acts like an overprotective mother to a fictional character. and ship the two main characters lol. 

We gotta do the basics. Favorite character:

do i really need to answer this?! obvi johnny and miguel. i love them so much. they just carry the whole show. truly the best thing to come out of the movies. 

but ig for the random people who see this here u go lol:

robby keene, daniel larusso, demetri, moon, (terry silver and kreese as “bad guys” ik they’re bad but as characters *chefs kiss* make it interesting) 

Favorite ship:

LAWRUSSO SUPREMACY ofc

but tbh literally none of the romantic ships we were given. maybe a little of robby/sam because of me being so into lawrusso and family stuff. but we know how it ends...

but i wouldn’t mind if robby had a bf or like if everyone was bi

Underrated character:

basically everyone but the “excusable three”  aka johnny, miguel and hawk

but anthony ig, son of daniel larusso, he’s wasted potential!! 

Underrated ship (don’t say therapy, lol):

johnny x being useful

johnny x being a dad to robby

this fandom x common sense 

but johnny x shannon. i deff unpop, but tanner wanted to see them. i also want robby to have his family. so yes. 

Wax On, Wax Off or Sweep the Leg?:

Wax On, Wax Off. 

my miyagi-do heart is big

Which of Daniel’s dumb little outfits is your favorite?:

that outfit where he says “get off my case” he’s wearing camo pants and a i forgot lol. i just never understood the fit, but i dig.

Character from the films you most want to return, who’s not Terry Silver:

Bobby ofc, love him!! also needs to sweep johnny’s leg again he didn’t hit his head hard enough. 

Scene that lives in your head rent-free:

Every Lawrusso scene. ever.

Every Robby scene. He’s just a little of everything and I love it!! 

“You’re a pathetic loser” -> “Did you sense I was here” -> “It’s my fcking dad” -> “Next time you won’t get back up” -> “I like the heat”-> “Ooo it’s cold!” 

The kid who's wearing the “future is female shirt”

Trey and Cruz roasting Johnny>>

also random af but when louie and anoosh are telling daniel how sam could become a stripper or something his face is priceless. i might have to make a gif. 

Will Anthony LaRusso ever be relevant?:

they finally added him in the family photo, so i would hope so!

Pro-tip: Read Little LaRusso is a Cobra by narcissablaxk. Anthony is delightful in that story. It easily ranks in my top ten favorite fics in this fandom (thank you @klovenhooves) 

I WILL READ 

You live in The Valley and are forced into the karate gang war.  Which dojo do you join?:  

Miyagi-Do for life, but wherever Robby is tbh. 

What’s your training montage song?:

one nite i guess idk haha. something hip and fun. 

It’s the crossover event of the century! Which TV show are you combining with Cobra Kai for an hour-long Saturday night special?:

CK and the100 oh it would be a mess...

tagging the robby keene supoprt gc!!

[pagingevilspawn]

stick it

What even is this fic? Idk, but i was missing gymnastics, so this is what y’all get. Its super bad, super weird, and not a whole lotta jolex, but whatever. 

Also, nobody cares, but the way I'm giving the scores is (most likely) different than what is averaged for Washington. I’ve never competed in Washington so i don’t know how hard their scoring is, but I did compete in one of the hardest regions in the US for gymnasts, so scoring was always a LOT more harsh than it was in other states and areas of states. Even though nobody is gonna pay attention to that I just thought I'd say something lol. 

And fun fact- our girl is a (much) better gymnast than i ever was, so… tea 🍵🍵  

~*~

Jo watched her husband do their daughter’s hair from the doorway, some kind of a braided bun she didn’t know the name of. She smiled at the sight. It never failed to bring a smile to her face, even though it had become pretty common these past few years. She cradled the bottom of her six month baby bump in the palm of her left hand, her right holding her piping hot tea in a thermos. Once Alex was done putting in all of the excess pins, she watches as he puts a hand over their daughter’s eyes, pulling out the can of hairspray and spraying it into her hair. 

The almost nine year old girl lets out a giggle, commenting on how the hairspray smelt funny. Alex pulls out an Amped Up brush, combing back any flyaway hairs that might have escaped the spray. She snaps out of her trance when she hears her phone alarm go off, alerting the other two in the room of her presence. 

“Mommy!” her daughter exclaims, running over to her to give her a quick hug, much to the dismay of Alex. He was just thankful that he was already done with her hair. Even after three years of doing hair it still took a long ass time to do buns, especially when his daughter was the perfectionist she was. 

“Hey Dyl,” Jo reaches down, returning her daughter’s hug, giving her a tight squeeze before she watches Dylan retreat back to her dad, sitting in front of the mirror once again. 

Jo looks at Alex, who’s attention was focused on adding the shiny black scrunchie into the little girl’s hair. “I’m gonna get Aub up.” she whispers to him, watching him nod before she turns and makes her way down the hall, where their three year old daughter was sleeping. It was only five-thirty, so she knew what a hassle it would be. Aubryella was exactly like her parents in that way, a complete night owl. It was always a hassle to get the girl down at night, but even tougher to wake her up in the morning. She flicks on the small night on the girl’s bedside table, the lamp shade casting a soft pink glow around the all pink room. 

Much like her name, Aubryella was the definition of a girly-girl. She was all about pink, barbies, fashion, makeup… anything that would be described as girly, the three year old liked. Alex always gave props to Jo for that, since while she was pregnant with their youngest daughter she claimed that the tiny life growing inside of her was going to be an ‘all that and a bag of chips little diva’, so she thought it was only appropriate to give her a name to suit that title. (Good thing her mommy instincts were correct. She knew that if she gave Dylan that name and not Aubryella she would hate it more than life itself.) 

She shakes the girl lightly, hoping that it was enough to wake her up, which it ultimately wasn’t. She begins to run a hand through her hair, which ends up failing too. Jo lets out a sigh. 

“Aub. Aubrey. Elle. Ella. Ree. Aubryella. Get up sweetie.” she shakes the girl harder, finally stopping when the tiny blonde lets out a loud groan of protest. Yep, definitely a Karev.

“No mommy,” the girl says, her word muffled since her face was buried in her soft pink pillow case, using one hand to sleepily push her moms face away. It was too close to her ear, and she just wanted to sleep.

Jo chuckles, rolling her eyes at her daughter's antics. “It’s state’s day.” she whispers, knowing that that would get Aub’s attention.

As expected, the little girl gets up immediately, rubbing her tired as, not looking as asleep as she probably should, the talk of the upcoming meet more than enough to get her blood rushing. Though Aubryella wasn't a gymnast herself (she had started dance class a year ago and had found her calling then), watching gymnastics was something she loved to do, especially when it was her own sister competing. Not to mention, it was the topic of nearly every dinner for the past month and a half.  

The mom watches as the girl hassles out of the bed quickly, picking up her blanket and rushing to the bathroom to brush her teeth. Jo stays behind, making the bed. Normally, Aub would need to do it herself, but since they were on a time limit, she decided it would be best if she did it instead. When the girl gets back in the room Jo picks out her clothes, a dusty rose sweater and black jeans, both wasting no time in putting them on. She runs a comb through her daughter’s long dirty blonde hair, a trait she inherited from her Aunt Amber and Grandma. Aub actually looked more like the two than her own parents to most people, with her dirty blonde hair and blue-green eyes. But anyone who actually looked at the girl could see that she had Jo's nose and Alex’s chin. Not to mention, that crooked grin was all Alex Karev.

Jo picks up her daughter from her spot on the bed, grabbing a jacket that was hung on a hook before heading out of the door and down the hall, stopping when she went down the stairs and entered the living room. She sets the girl down by a chair in the kitchen, going to the cabinets and pulling out the doughnuts and cereal. “Which one?” she asks, holding up each dessert in a different hand. 

The girl grins mischievously, making the mom let out a small chuckle before pulling a powdered sugar doughnut out of the box. She didn’t know why she expected anything else. 

Aubryella accepts the doughnut gratefully, giving out an absent minded thank you before shoveling the treat in her mouth, getting the white sugar all over her face. Jo doesn’t need to wait long before she hears two sets of footsteps come down the stairs, Dylan dressed with her white and light blue leotard on, black warm ups on over it, Alex in a simple pair of jeans, back t-shirt, and the damn black jacket that he never got rid of, no matter how many protests he got from his wife. 

“Ready?” Jo asks, all three of them nodding in response. “Okay, you got your bag, shoes, extra hair ties, water bottle, lucky bear, extra bobby pins, thera band, notebook, phone, mascara, lip gloss, hair brush, wallet, tiger paws, ankle brace, knee brace, and wrist brace?” she questions again, going over the list she had memorized from years of training. 

Dylan rolls her eyes impatiently. She didn’t want to be late. She couldn’t be late. It was States for god’s sake! Everyone in the state of Washington (who qualified) would be there. The judges would be scoring harder, and some of the competition was going to be new. She was going to go up against girl’s she hadn’t before. Her goal was to win everything. Maybe it was extreme, but it was true. This season she had done well, really well actually. Her first season as a level seven had started off in the best way. She swept the first competition clean, getting first on vault, floor, and all around, second on bars, and third on beam. As the season went on she just got better, scores getting higher and snatching more golds with each meet. She knew she wasn’t going to be in the Olympics one day, but getting a college scholarship was looking more promising with every first place medal she had stacked around her neck. 

“Yeah, now let’s gooooo,” Dylan drags out, grabbing her dad’s hand and pulling him to the door, not even waiting for her mom and sister to follow. The four Karev’s shuffle into the car and drive an hour and fifteen minutes to the convention center where the meet was being held. They pile out of the car and check in, Alex taking a few minutes to add an extra layer of hairspray to Dylan’s hair while Jo puts a light coat of mascara on the girl’s eyelashes and dabs the lip rosy gloss on her lips. 

Before the eight year old can run off her coach, her parents kneel down in front of her, her eyes letting them know how scared she was behind her calm facade. “Hey,” Jo grabs a hold of her little girl’s shoulders, making her hazel eyes that were identical to her own stare deeply into hers. “You got this. Go out there and have fun, alright? You know your routines, you won’t mess up. Okay?” she reassures her. Jo pulls her daughter into a hug, “I love you baby.” she whispers into her ear, passing her off to Alex. 

Instead of staying on the ground, he picks her up and puts her on his side, much like you would do a small child. Dylan had always been on the smaller side, since neither one of her parents were very tall, but gymnastics had definitely stunted her growth a fair amount. For most people it would be a curse, but as all gymnasts know, it was a blessing. 

“We’re right here if you need us. Go kick some ass Dyl, and win that state title. You want that banner right?” he teases. Dylan did want a banner though. At her gym, whoever won a state, regionals, sectionals, or nationals title got a banner hung up from the ceiling. She had one from last year, when she won floor, vault, and the all around as a level six, and even more from the years before that in levels three, four, and five. 

But a banner as a level seven? Now that would be a dream come true. Why break the streak now? And not to mention, her group would be the last level seven group to go for the weekend, so if she got a high enough all around score, it could be factored in for the team’s total, which could mean another banner (this one provided by the competition) and trophy, if their total score was in the top three. And believe me, she was determined to win that banner, not for her, but for her team. 

Another thing she inherited from her parent’s, their competitiveness. 

Dylan gives her parents and sister one last hug and ‘I love you’ before ducking under the chain and meeting her coach and teammates on the floor.  

...             

“Camera, camera, camera.” Alex mumbles, fishing through Jo’s bag until he pulls out the phone. Dylan was about to go up on bars, and he was designated photographer, since his wife couldn’t film for the life of her. The one time she tried, she ended up shooting the ceiling instead of Dylan’s floor routine. Their daughter was not very happy about that. 

He presses the start button just as the girl salutes, flashing the judges a smile before she begins. She rolls her neck and then adjusts her grips, stepping onto the mounting block and taking a deep breath before swinging her arms and launching into a kip, drowning out all of the excess noise in the background. 

“Legs, legs, legs.” Jo mumbles to herself. It was Dylan’s biggest deduction, having her legs separated. 

Straight legs, pointed feet. Kip cast handstand, hit the 180 degree mark, hold it, clear hip, hit 180 again, hollow body, her feet don't hit the ground, cast up to a squat on, she catches sight of the high bar before jumping to it, keeping her legs together as she goes into another kip, casting up into handstand, holding it at 180 for a second without an arch before hollowing back and beginning her giants, hollow body, tap, feet up, over, and again, see the toes in front, release, layout flyaway. Stick. 

Dylan beams as she salutes the judge again, going over to her coach and giving her a large hug, finally hearing the cheering coming from her family. A series of whoops and whistles come from her mom and dad, while her little sister claps her hands and gives her a wide smile. 

She waits a minute and a half for her score to flash up on the screen, a 9.725. The cheering from her section gets louder, and her teammates engulf her in hugs. It was a hell of a way to start off the meet. 

…

Alex pulls out the camera again when Dylan salutes the beam judge, trying to mask her nervousness behind a smile. Alex and Jo both knew how she felt about the beam. She hated it with every fiber of her being, no matter how good she was at it. She glances over at her family, who all give her encouraging smiles. It was just enough to give her the confidence she needed. 

He watches as she places her hands on the beam, going from a support to a press handstand for her mount. She stands, doing a few different moves and poses before swinging her arms up by her ears. 

“C’mon Dyl.” he whispers to himself. His daughter didn't mind cheering on any other events, but beam was a different story. She was always worried whenever she was on the apparatus, so whenever a sudden noise came through, she struggled. It was something she was working on, but it was going to take time. 

She lifts up her left leg, beginning her connection, a back walkover to a back handspring step-out. The girl circles her arms behind her immediately to prevent any balance checks. Jo and Alex both let out audible sighs of relief, knowing that if there was one thing that could go wrong in the routine, it would be that. From the looks of it, Dylan seemed relieved too. Her movements were less tense, she completed her jumps with perfect form, a split jump to a sissone. Her leap hit 180, and her full turn was controlled. All that was left now was her dismount. All three Karev’s sat on the edge of their seats, the baby in Jo’s belly kicking non stop, letting her know that it was in on the action as well. 

Dylan kicks her leg into the air, toes pointed, knees locked. Cartwheel step-in, back tuck. Stick. She lets out a breath, turning to the judges and saluting, flashing them a smile, giving her coaches a hug before darting to her family, who had moved closer for the event.  

“You did so good.” Jo says, pulling her into a hug over the plastics chains that separated them, Alex doing the same after. 

“What score do you think I got Bree?” Dylan asks her little sister, who lets out an adorable giggle before holding out her hands. 

“Ten!” she says, making her family laugh. One could dream. 

The score flashed up on the screen then, 9.775. 

Well, this was going to be a damn good meet. 

…

The camera was locked on Dylan as she made her way to her spot on the floor, striking her beginning pose before her music blared through the speakers. She dances around the floor, gliding with an ease neither of her parents had ever experienced themselves. It was a wonder really, how both of their daughter’s were good dancers while they couldn't move for shit. 

Her first pass was her hardest, a roundoff back handspring back layout. The family holds their breath as the girl sets high, finishing the rotation with ease, dancing around more before her leap pass, a switch leap to a straddle jump. She dances more, making eye contact with the judges as she moves. Floor was where she had the most confidence, being able to express herself through her music and choreography, that’s why it was always her favorite. 

“C’mon Dyl!” 

“You got this Dylan,” 

“Yay Tissy!” 

The family cheered before her second pass, a front handspring front pike, which she had a small step on, but nothing that would make a large difference in her score. She did some floor work, showing off her flexibility in her back with a series of rolls, standing up and doing a full turn. She makes her way to the corner, Jo and Alex watching the scene intently, Alex having Aubryella perched on his knee. This last pass sealed the deal. She runs, hurdles into a front pike, and connects to a front tuck. Stick. 

A smile breaks out on the little girl’s face. She moves her limbs in unison to her ending pose, hitting it just as the beat dropped. A series of cheers come from everyone around her. Her family, teammates, coaches. She doesn’t need to wait long for her score to flash up on the screen. A 9.675. 

…

Dylan’s last event was vault, her personal best. She had already done her warmups, and now she was just waiting for the judge to hold up the green flag. She adjusts her tiger paws after she salutes, just as Alex starts the recording. She sprints down the runway, hurdling into a roundoff, and pushing back into a back handspring. Her vault was a yurchenko drill. She keeps her form, legs together, knees locked, toes pointed. She finishes, salutes, then goes again. The three in the stands cheer. It was the last event. Her all around score depended on these vaults. 

When she does her finishing salute a second time, she knows that it was even better than the last. She looks over to her family and gives them a smile, wanting nothing more than to run over to them, but she knows she can’t, they were too far away. 

Her score takes a while to come up on the screen, which could either be a bad or good thing. The Karev’s hold their breath in anticipation, Jo stroking her baby bump with one hand, while holding Alex’s with the other. Even Aubryella was on the edge of her seat, well, more like the edge of her dad’s lap. Her hair was no longer down, but in a braided bun similar to her sisters, since she insisted that she wanted to look just like her. Alex was thankful Jo had packed extra hair ties in not just Dylan’s bag, but also her purse.

A series of loud cheers come from this section as they see their daughter’s score. A 9.800, a personal best. 

…

“And now, your vault state champion in the eight to nine year old category with a score of 9.800 is… Dylan Karev!” The announcer cheers as the little brunette makes her way up to the first place podium, an abundance of applause coming from the crowd. A gold medal is placed around her neck by an assistant, who she thanks with a megawatt smile. 

“These are your 2029 vault state champions, gymnasts salute.” the announcer says, causing all the girls to raise their arms to the position, all the families in the crowd taking photos of their daughters. Jo, Alex, and Aubryella cheer the loudest, more than proud of Dylan. 

As awards went on, more categories were called. 

“Your bar's state champion in the eight to nine year old category with a score of 9.725 is... Dylan Karev!” 

“Your beam state champion in the eight to nine year old category with a score of 9.775 is… Dylan Karev!” 

“On the floor, in second place with a score of 9.675 is… Dylan Karev!” 

“And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Your 2029, eight to nine year old all around state champion, with a combined score of 38.975 is… Dylan Karev!” The audience erupted into applause, her parents, her teammates, coaches, and even her teammates parent’s cheering for her. She accepts her fifth medal with a wide smile, hopping down from the podium and back into the crowd. She had just won her ultimate goal, an all around title. 

After a few of the older groups were called, it was time for the team awards.  

“In first place, with a combined total of 115.575 is… Seattle Gymnastics Academy!” Another first place team award. The team accepts the banner and trophy and poses for photos alongside the second and third place team, proudly showing off their trophy by raising it above their heads.  

When she gets down and the awards finish, she runs to her parents, crashing into Alex with a gigantic hug. When she finally lets go, she hugs her mom and sister. 

“I’m so proud of you Dyl.” her mom says, touching her cheek affectionately. Gymnastics was her daughter's passion, something she lived and breathed for. Seeing that light in her eyes and that grin was something she would never get tired of. 

Aubryella hugs her big sister’s legs, “good job Tissy.” The name came from when the tiny blonde was younger and couldn’t say ‘Sissy’, and had stuck to it ever since. 

The family of four makes their way out of the convention center, the drive back to their house was peaceful, the limited hours of sleep they got the night before catching up to them. They all crash onto their respective beds, the girls in their rooms and Jo and Alex in their’s. 

Alex runs a hand through his wife’s hair, his other tracing circles on her baby bump, feeling the little life inside of her kick like a crazy person. 

They stay like that for a while, savoring the quiet. With two kids in the house, it was a major rarity these days. Jo hums, nuzzling into his embrace. “I love you.” she murmurs into his shirt, on the verge of sleep. He reaches down and places a small kiss on the top of her head. 

“I love you too.”

[realchemistry]

Some 9-1-1 thoughts

I really think the finale should’ve been two episodes long. The whole thing seemed rushed, and the train derailment was barely a thing. It’s impossible to balance having that accident and rescue, while giving the characters not involved with the emergency time for their stories to play out.

Abby’s return was a bit of a mess. First of all, it would’ve been more ~dramatique to have her be inside the train, it would’ve given Buck (and the 118) more time to interact with her. I understand that the whole idea of her return turned around the idea of her calling 9-1-1 and assessing the situation like a pro, which would’ve been hard if she’d been stuck, but I think it would’ve made for better TV. I guess Connie didn’t have too much time to shoot, and a rescue would’ve required more.

Buddie-wise, TPTB clearly intended for Buck and Abby’s reunion to contain lots of Eddie. Eddie was the first to talk to her, we got more time of his face reacting to Buck reacting to Abby (LOL) than of Abby herself. Then, Eddie somehow heard Buck’s promise to Abby, and was clearly feeling feelings about it when he brought her up in front of Bobby. We also got to see him reacting to Buck watching Abby and Sam leaving in the ambulance. Eddie’s the closest to Buck, and they always work as a team, so it had to be him playing that part, but the way that part was played, that was TPTB’s choice through and through and it was very Buddie and they can’t deny.

Earlier, we got to see Eddie clearly freaking out about Chris leaving to camp, Buck doing the same, and the whole team looking at each other amusedly. Bobby’s reaction to Eddie telling him the fiancée was Abby was also precious. All the Buddie bits at May’s party were awesome, the fact that the best one might have been Oliver and Ryan only goes to show...

Buck and Abby’s conversation felt somehow incomplete to me. Leaving was the right choice to her, she had no regrets about it, and she explained why she didn’t want to return as well, and that was fine. It just felt like they had more to say to each other, and we can imagine they continued talking after that, but I wish we’d gotten more of Connie (and her hair).

I’m glad, however, that Michael received good news, and maybe got that cute doctor’s phone number and a date to look forward to (more dates, as Anon lovingly pointed out), Athena started to deal with her trauma, Josh got his own form of closure (though I wasn’t a fan of that storyline), and Hen is going to med school (she can’t be leaving the show, tho, so IDK how that’s gonna work). May probably wanted to talk to Maddie about being a 9-1-1 operator, which I’m here for cause it could bring lots of great storylines for next season.

MADNEY ARE PREGNANT! I was so happy for them, they did nothing wrong ever and deserve all the best. That kid is gonna have so much love!! I can’t wait for fun storylines with those two (three)!!

What’s next for Buddie?

I’m gonna be real here: they gave Buck closure (which I don’t think he really needed TBH) to finally get on with some romantic storylines for him, and I’m pretty sure that, at this point, Eddie is not a candidate. Eddie himself will likely continue his story with Ana or with someone else. 

I think Buddie can be a great slowburn couple and I’m up for it (in fact, I’d prefer it), but I also think TPTB aren’t planning for Buddie right now. To be fair, they probably haven’t planned much of anything because they’ve only been working for a few weeks, but if they had the intention to get on with Buddie next season, they could’ve had both of them sending Chris off, just to plant the seed.

It doesn’t mean it’s never gonna be the plan, or that they aren’t gonna decide to go for it in 4B, but TV doesn’t work the way some of the fandom think it does. What I mean by this is that the online fandom is not really as important in ratings or influence as some would like to think. Numbers are what makes a show go on, and 9-1-1 gets amazing numbers as is. Going for a Buddie storyline or not wouldn’t really make much difference, and people are fooling themselves if they think that telling TPTB that they will stop watching if they don’t go for it is an actual threat to them. By the same token, replying to official accounts with Buddie love is great, but some people (Oliver included) should really learn about online etiquette.

Does this mean I’m giving up on Buddie? Not a chance in hell. I love Buddie and I love this show in general, and I will continue to ship them and watch it for as long as my love remains true. I love slowburn couples, I love watching the transition from friendship to romance, and all the elements for Buddie to happen this way are in place. I’m not naïve and I know it might never come to be, but I will support the ship, root for them and hope for the best, as I always do.

[photolover82]

The Masked Singer Season 5 Episode 5 Recap: Group B Finals ft a plot twist (Commentary & Guesses)

Hi everyone! Welcome (or welcome back) to Ana’s Masked Singer recap, where I, Ana, recap every episode of The Masked Singer. So, this week, we are back to Group B with yet another wildcard and it is the last time we are gonna see the groups on their own since after Group A’s final, we got the Super Eight (yup, it’s 8 this time... much better still than last season’s format). Anyways, let’s get into it (this is gonna be super repetitive from last week guess wise but I am gonna try to keep it interesting and fresh for you guys, don’t you worry):

Alright, so usually I would save the wildcard for the end as like a surprise, but since the wildcard got eliminated, let’s introduce (and say goodbye to at the same time) to the:

Bulldog!! 🐶

Commentary: Ok, he sang Candy Girl by New Edition (which is really funny and ironic for a whole other thing, I’ll explain in a moment I swear) and um how do I say this nicely?... he’s a great dancer, but the singing is, what Randy Jackson would say, “a no from me dawg.” (Get it? Dawg.. bc the bullDOG... oh ok I will stop now). Anyways, yeah no, he was not good, I kind of expected this to happen honestly, so I am not surprised nor disappointed by any means. However, the person under this mask kinda did surprise me lol... even tho I kind of saw this coming.

He was revealed to be, in the biggest plot twist of the century, no voting, just Neicy Nash picking it:

*SURPRISE SHAWTY*

Nick Cannon, our very own host and Ken’s “daddy*”

*which is ironic because he legit just announced he was gonna have another baby

Ok, ok, did I get this right on my own? Nope, but Twitter helped me out so thank you Twitter. I did officially guess him before he was unmasked (but that’s because I had no other guesses sooo can I really count this a win? Hmmm... TBD... you guys let me know). Anyways, BOOM PLOT TWIST BABY, he’s back! Just in case you guys didn’t know (I don’t really talk about the judges or the host here because I watch for the contestants not for them and it would make this already long blog longer and we don’t want that): Nick had COVID so he couldn’t host the first few episodes of the show, but now he’s better and BOOM he’s the host again... Neicy Nash was taking over for him and now he’s back! So yeah this was just a transition for him to be back on the show, but like imma be honest: he might have been married to Mariah Carey but he don’t got any pipes like her, but he’s a good host so he should stick to that.

Anyways, NEXTTTT, let’s talk about the remaining 4 (which are legit the same freaking ones from last week):

1. Black Swan 🖤🦢

Commentary: So she sang Whitney Houston's How Will I Know and I swear she gets better and better each week like she murdered this song, it was absolutely amazing, my favorite performance of the night hands down. I really love Black Swan, she has one of the best voices on the show and I think either her or Robopine could win the entire season tbh.

I think this has to be (tripling down/final answer/insert buzzer sound here):

Jojo

Reasoning/Clues:

10-10-10= She has appeared on multiple singing competition shows (she did a lot of those shows as a kid), she was on America’s Most Talented Kids and was a guest judge on celebrity X Factor

Montana= get this... if you are around my age, this will surprise you. Did you guys know that Jojo was the original person that the producers of Hannah Montana wanted to play Hannah but she turned it down because she wanted to focus on her music

In her physical clue, she talks about a female singer who passed away at a young age that she was friends with= she was referring to fellow R&B singer Aaliyah

2. Crab 🦀

Commentary: He sang Give it to Me Baby by Rick James and it was a very strong performance, it almost took me aback the song choice. I didn’t expect him to go that hard in the beginning, the hip thrusts were a bit uncomfortable for me and he can’t dance for shit (I am sure it’s because he’s a bit older, not faulting him by any means), but it was really strong vocally speaking. He did actually loose his breathe and started hyperventilating under the mask and had to take a break to cool down (literally, because he was burning up under there), which honestly I hope he’s ok, I am not sure if he’s gonna last that long because of that hyperventilating (remember Mickey Rourke?), but tbh it would have been so unfair for him to go because he did an amazing job and I enjoyed his performance. He got soul.... crab’s got soul.

This has got to be (doubling down, like omg even the picture matches w the body type and everything, I am onto something here):

Bobby Brown

Reasoning/Clues:

Mom kept him in the straight and narrow and taught him how to cook= well, he has spoke about how his mother has gotten him away from the gangs and trouble around his neighborhood and into cooking (he even has a food line, hence the Mac and cheese), which also made him take up singing and thus his band New Edition (remember how I said Nick singing Candygirl by New Edition was ironic? Well this is why... because crab is Bobby Brown aka one of the members.... also Black Swan sang his ex wife’s song so yeah this can’t get any more ironic) was formed

Big Ben= Initals, BB aka Bobby Brown and also he had a show in 2005 called Being Bobby Brown and one of the episodes “Bobby Does London” he goes to London

Ribs= he has a line of BBQ sauces and seasonings called Bobby Brown Foods

3. Piglet 🐷

Commentary: This time, he went a bit softer with the song choice which I feel compliments his voice better, with 7 Years by Lukas Graham, which made Jenny, who apparently hasn’t listened to this song before (wtf Jenny, this song was all over the radio in like 2017 and you are like a radio host hun), cry. I mean it was really amazing and ballads actually suit him a lot more than super upbeat songs like last week’s Andy Grammar song and I really enjoyed it, I’ve heard that song a million times so no I didn’t cry but I still loved it. I do think Piglet will go super far, my guess is he will make it to semifinals.

I am a 100%, tripling down sure that this is:

Nick Lachey

Reasoning/Clues:

Genie Lamp= He did a cover of Aladdin’s A Whole New World with his ex Jessica Simpson on Disney Mania 3

The “spider” who made him a family man= referring to Vanessa Lachey, it was supposed to be this whole Charlotte’s Web thing not really referring anything specific about her that she’s a spider, she could have been another pig for all we care

Dog Tags= in the physical clue, there are 3 dog tags, which he has been seen wearing (you can Google those pics) and they represent his 3 kids which his wife gave him before they had their third kid, Phoenix (btw there’s a P on the bottom dog tag shown)

4. Chameleon

Commentary: Ok so he rapped again but this time the song was Hip Hop by Dead Prez (which I have felt like I have heard but I have no idea where) and I usually hate rappers on this show, but like he’s legit. What I mean by that is like he’s an actual rapper (well Bow Wow was too... but Bow Wow only went as far as he did because of his dancing, Chameleon is just pure rap talent) and his flow is insane. I am not a rap fan whatsoever but I can appreciate good rapping and that was good rapping, actually it was great rapping. Sure, he’s the weakest link of the four but he’s also the coolest one could argue.

Mark my words, this is as I said the last 2 types, again tripling down:

Wiz Khalifa

Reasoning/Clues:

His little Chameleon/lizard= he has an 8 year old son named Sebastian (he also says Cam in the package which is his real name... by him I mean Wiz.... his real name is Cameron)

Martial Arts= the dude likes Martial Arts and has been trained in it and Jiu Jitsu, he has mentioned it in interviews, has been spotted training in gyms, it’s no secret at this point that he likes that stuff

Hot wings= he has a wings place called HotBox by Wiz and he was also on Hot Ones (for those unfamiliar, it’s a YouTube show where celebs eat 10 super spicy chicken wings while answering questions) idk if that counts but I am also gonna say it

So that’s it, guys! I hope you enjoyed! Follow me on Twitter because I do live tweet the show, it’s the same username as here @photolover82 and I do some of these in video form on Tik Tok too if you wanna follow, it’s photolover820 (close enough lol). So yeah, see you guys in the next one! Byeeee! 👋🏼👋🏼

[seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana]

Some Zeus little ideas and write outs from the prompt generator.

“MC getting hurt protecting Zeus.”

hMm...Lets say this happens during Hades route, but not really. As in, the scene where all the Gods disappear because of Astraeus and Pollus (whatever Astraeus’ brothers name is) and MC and Zeus are together. This happens within like a year when they start dating, so they both know how they feel and like...MC just acts on instinct. She feels the shift in the air first and she pulls on Zeus’s jacket label and he looks at her, and she knows he’s a little drunk. “I think something’s wrong,” she would whisper to him. Part of Zeus wants to say, “It’s okay,” BUT another part of him knows something must be wrong. MC is usually right, even if he used to hate that, and so he does worry a bit. However, he doesn’t even have a minute to think about it, because an explosion happens, and MC sees a piece of stone falling towards Zeus and her, and her bubble comes up and protects both of them, but it still really hurts her, and another falls, and the barrier breaks. Thankfully, the bubble broke the hard fall of the piece of stone, but it still really hurt her, so she falls to the ground in pain and she’s one of the other scream along with the other Gods, but Zeus reacts to hers first.

Basically, he gets down and holds her as he watches everything crumble. He tries to fight back, but the titans over take him and he is taken away from her. Why do they leave her? Because Astraeus exists lol. And that’s all I can think of for right now fhiwoes.

“MC and Zeus meet for the first time on a train.“

HMMM. Zeus needs to go to some kind of meeting, but it’s at Hades condo, for whatever reason. He realizes he doesn’t have a car with him and he feels a little tired of teleporting back and forth, so he takes the subway. And as he enters he sees MC sitting on the subway, her hair is taken down since she’s out of work, and she’s resting her head against the walls of the subway (is it called a subway?? What is it called?? Like the inside if you understand??) and lets say they’ve been flirting a bit because why not, and Zeus is a little afraid to see her...so he just stares at her, but only for a moment because it was like she sensed his presence, because she looked over in his direction. He’s in the back, but she can still see him from his BRIGHT blue jacket and his blonde hair. She can see that from a mile aways lol. Anyways, he looks away and he sees her in the reflection of the window in front of him, and she can’t see that he’s looking at it, and he sees her looking at him. She smiles at him and his heart races at seeing it, but he just stands still, and she eventually looks away. But the smile doesn’t disappear the whole ride and when she gets off, she can’t help but rush off because she’s a little afraid of facing him right now. I took this prompt as in they meet each other on the train, but it’s the first time meeting on the subway fidjbke. But they know each other,,so it’s first time spotting each other?? IDK MEG.

“MC and Zeus locked in a vault”

ARTIFACT VAULT!! ARTIFACT VAULT!! Zeus is requiring MC’s help with a case of the artifacts. Its an artifact that is being found and it’s actually just a piece of it, so they look at each artifact to see if there is a missing piece, and they find it! But when they do, the door closes and apparently,,the doors lock when they’re closed. MC and Zeus look at each other with confused faces. “I guess my mom really wanted to trap thieves,” she says with a nice laugh. And he remembers MCs mom arguing with him about this actually. She thought of thieves ahead of time, yet Zeus didn’t see anyone willing to steal from the Gods.

But now it looked like they were the thieves. Basically, it’s full of awkward talking and MC trying to pick the lock in anyway. But obviously, the lock is EXTREMELY hard to pick. And to make this better, the only way to actually pick the lock was from a bobby pin,,and she has one. She takes her hair down and Zeus feels a little flustered because of it. He doesn’t know why, but just seeing her with her hair was down was really attractive to him lol. SO, it’s awkward staring as MC tries to make conversation. “Whose artifact is this? I can’t recall right now.” She studies the artifacts because she would like to be caught up on everything for any kind of case, but she can’t remember it right now. The awkwardness and panic blocking her logic-

He looks at it and says the Gods name and she hums at the answer, and she wonders what they do. “Who is that exactly? I haven’t heard that name in awhile.” Zeus smiles at her curiosity, but he tampers it down and answers her, but vaguely. He doesn’t trust her completely. The fact that she could lock pick and knew probably a lot about the Gods (from her mother) makes him not trust her just in case she becomes an enemy. I mean, Zeus knows she has a reason to. But eventually MC lets out a frustrated groan and sighs. “This can’t be lock picked. That probably should’ve been obvious,” she says with a small laugh and she was embarrassed. AND LIKE,,MY MIND WAS SAYING, “THIS is where they have their first kiss. Well, almost.” Just like, in a random vault, of a random God, having small conversations, and she suddenly gets closer as they talk, and before their lips touch, the door opens and they pull away as fast as they can. 

“We checked the conversation and saw how you were trapped in here, sorry it took us so long, sir,” the agent said a little fearful. “It’s okay, agent.” And it was okay. They at least came for them pretty quickly, only 10 minutes since they were trapped in here. And he wishes they were in there for just a little bit longer,,and they don’t talk about what happened because then they ALSO REMEMBER THE CAMERAS...AND HOW PEOPLE PROBABLY SAW THEM ALMOST KISS G IRWK. Zeus is haunted by it, but he likes that it happened :)).

“Zeus and MC go separately to a New Year’s Party, and end up standing next to each other during the countdown to midnight.“

FIRST KISS!! FIRST KISS!! I can’t think of anything else but MC and Zeus standing next to each other and counting down. It’s happening on Earth and Zeus is there because he knows Hades and Alex is there. He was a little bored on Olympus and saw how excited his brother was to be with a friend of his, so he decided to join as well. MC was surprised to see Zeus here and smiles at him. She actually ended up a littles away from Hades and Alex because...it’s New York, what do you expect?? But Zeus manages to find her first and they start counting and ya know what?? MC PULLS HIM DOWN AND KISSES HIM!! It’s surprising but Zeus leans into it as well...because they like each other :))). It was a great start to a new year. And maybe a new year to romance👀.

OKAY THE LAST FUNNY ONE:

"Zeus and MC reading mean tweets/comments about themselves and laughing it off.“

Zeus and MC have started dating and it’s spread on Olympus. And most of the top tier Gods are just like, “...Alright.” BUT OTHER GODS ARE LIKE “??? WHY?? WHY A HUMAN >:(”. They basically don’t approve of it and if you think they talked crap about Zeus, they know talk crap about both of them. I can’t think of specific examples BUT LIKE STILL!! It’s just so funny?? Zeus is a little angry, but MC just tells him to calm down and turns it into a funny matter and they both have a nice night. Zeus looks at the people the next day and remembers MC laughing and how it was so nice, so he’s not that angry...

YH MEG I LOVE ZEUS SO MUCH GKRED. I’m gonna think of him all night bc UGH ZEUS!! STOP INVADING MY MIND FLJADS. Love youuu💙.

Not much proof reading bc hNNNG :((. 

[fmdluna]

[bobby caldwell vc] i bet you’ve wondered where i’ve been!! hi my kings, queens, and in-betweens!! i’m so super excited to be here and present to you my kid, miss moon micha, who is also known as luna of wish!! if you don’t know me, my name is jada, and this is my second go at bringing this mess of a muse to the famed-verse!! i’m back with tons of refreshed inspiration, happiness, and love to give to you all!! so i’m super excited to establish some new connections as well as revive new ones!! i’ve missed this roleplay dearly and am happy to be back, so if you’d like to plot with me please like this and i’d be more than happy to start something up with our characters!! i’ve got discord if youd like it, but ngl i’m the worst at getting back to you. and here’s her plots, profiles, and bio if you’d like!! you know how all that goes, trivia under the cut as well!!

as a preface this whole thing will be v casual because i cba

seoul born & bred, an only child, established in 1998!!

so basically her mother comes from a pretty small town but her father’s from seoul so she started getting that coin!! 

anyways she was raised real uppity, fancy house private schools & all that. but she also lived kind of like a mixed family because her dad was borderline obsessed with western culture so he was always like speak english!! eat american food!! listen to american music!! and she would always be taken on trips to paris france usa and shit but she really didn’t care she just wanted to be at home tbh

her mom is the opposite, always urging her to know her culture & cooking her homemade food and belting all her ballads w/micha. it was a lot less forceful which is part of the reason she prefers her mom and also why she doesn’t have that much of an urge to learn english or travel to other countries & all that

anyways life went on as normal until around middle school where she discovered kpop!! this was made canon last time but i wanted to revisit it!! it sounds stupid but was v influential because it a.) made her a knight stan lol and it b.) showed her the potential of becoming an idol as a career c.) opened her up to the kpop genre!! 

you may think i’m joking but the only music she was ever exposed to was her parent’s taste so it definitely was a change for her

anyways that phase was just spent being a real cringy stan but anyways proceed

 things seem to be okay until money seems to be the only topic of her parent’s conversations - how they’ll get it, how much was lost, all that. her dad’s not making as much as he once was but is still spending like he is, her mom thinks they should downgrade in favor of affordability. the result?? messy messy divorce micha is put in the middle of. 

[tw in brackets: substance abuse & verbal abuse!! i’ll make this quick just in case people are uncomfy with strong mentions of these things!! but basically within the stress her dad found himself caught up in drugs and alcohol and it was just a mess. while he was still his normal charismatic self to others, behind closed doors he got really harsh and used really degrading speech towards them over the span of like....a year.] triggering content ends here!

so - how does this relate to micha?? this is a big reason she’s so “justice for all!! women deserve rights!! we’re powerful!!” because she saw & endured all the shit that her dad put them through and also saw how they got out of it. so now she really feels like being strong and powerful is the only way to compensate for those years that she felt weak.

but!! sad times over. anyways, after dealing with all that her mom and her decided that they’d had enough and moved to their own apartment and her mother filed for divorce. there life was a lot simpler but it was happier, because her father wasn’t in the picture. this is also why micha prefers the simplistic life and hates people who are materialistic now!!

anyways - wrapping this up because it’s 10 and i really need to post my intro lmao.

discovered her love for music!! her and her mom used to sing all the time and she loved it and was like huh maybe i should actually do this music stuff

then!! she joined dimensions for a year as a trainee, hated it, and left. thought she was done with being an idol, then got scouted by bc!! was super super excited, joined & then was a trainee for three years until her debut!!

that whole time she was mad because she felt like she was just being bounced around although she was working hard. a big big reason she’s unsatisfied with being in wish is because she thinks it wasn’t really fitting for her and they just kind of plopped her in there because they didn’t know where else to put her

but now we’re here!! she’s....very Extra. deems herself (and kind of is tbh) one of the least favorite members of wish, more in terms of the company than anything. because she’s very outspoken and speaks against issues when she sees them!!

the reason she’s like this is that she had behaved for all of training & like 2 years into wish’s career but when she realized that wasn’t getting her anywhere and her other member’s started getting opportunities and she didn’t she started acting out (because throwing tantrums makes things better!!)

she just wants a solo and it’s not happening rip

but the thing is she’s such an angel on stage and makes the money she’s supposed to for them so i mean she’s walking on thin ice but she’s not doing enough to get herself fired you know what i mean

as for her around wish, she’s a bit of a grandma?? always telling wish to hush & sit down somewhere, but also can’t be bothered to actually be their mom and take care of them lmao.

as for her public image, she’s known to be a cutesy-badass type?? because she’s real cute visually but like when her little rap parts get on the powerful woman pops out

which is fine,,, but being cute is exhausting and she’s tired and wants girl crush!!

also loves all women everywhere that’s very important

uHhh i don’t know what else to say i’ll add more later but!! she does like doing asmr videos and watching them so if you want muses to share recs!! she’s your girl!!

idk what i’m doing or what else to say but yes i’ll rant all about her in ims if you want she’s a mess ok

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [Twix sees Janis and runs to her excitedly so he's just standing around awkwardly acting like what his little brother is saying/doing is the most interesting thing ever] Janis: [Hasn't noticed them 'cos running mode, until Twix nearly trips her up and she's like oh my fucking God, gives her begrudging love for as long as she can before she clearly has to like drag her back and then she tries to go but Twix follows so she's just stood there like well] Jimmy: keep her Jimmy: 💕 Janis: would but Janis: reckon the kids might miss her a bit Jimmy: does he look bothered? Jimmy: [Bobby isn't lol] Janis: miss her when she's gone Janis: [throws a stick for Twix so she's got something to do] Jimmy: used to that though Jimmy: [realises what he's said and is like awks but can't smoke in front of his brother so is just hands in pockets like WELL] Janis: [gives Bobby a sad kinda look but apart from that tactfully ignores, though does a lowkey doubletake when she sneaks a glance at Jim too] Janis: How's Ian? Jimmy: #goals Jimmy: obviously Jimmy: [but like touches his face without realising he's doing it & okay I'm giving him a fat lip so if they kiss again cos I'm evil] Janis: [looks away so she can bites her lip really hard 'cos deserves it] Janis: never disappoints Jimmy: I'll tell him you miss him Jimmy: [puts Bobby on a swing so he can push him & have something to do but is also a bit further away from her] Janis: please do Janis: unrequited is easier, so I've heard Jimmy: 👍 Janis: can't fuck that up, already hates me, see the appeal Janis: [goes and sits down on a bench slightly further away too but still in sight and is still throwing the stick for Twix and teaching her tricks etc] Jimmy: I'd love to tell you you're special, girl but he hates a lot of women so Jimmy: different girlfriend same main course when the bruises heal Janis: what could be better Janis: ain't special so don't gimme expectations to not meet, init Janis: she's onto something with this one at least Jimmy: & how #goals for him that the only girl he really loves is his daughter Jimmy: don't need to tell the fans it's debatable Janis: 💕 Janis: what a man Janis: [shaking her head angrily which he may or may not see up to you] Jimmy: he ain't smacked her yet so must be real 💕 Jimmy: save it for the sweet 16 Ian Janis: girl when it counts, we can hope Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: fave when it counts Jimmy: least like his least fave ex is all it takes Janis: get it Janis: Elizabeth I to your Edward VI Jimmy: take your word for that 'cause I don't Jimmy: get it Janis: you were made king when you were 9 just 'cos you're a lad and then you die at 15 and Cass is still considered one of the best rulers we've had Janis: there's another sister in there but she burnt a lot of Protestants and I won't give Cass that rep, bit dangerous 'round here Jimmy: alright, nerd Jimmy: [is trying not to lol even though she far away] Janis: soz you had TB you sickly child 🤷 Jimmy: I get it, you want me dead Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: [Bobby has moved to a climbing frame moment so he moves far enough away that he can 🚬 but obvs still keep an eye] Janis: nah Janis: just saying, might not be the 🚬 and I'd like to know if you were contagious Jimmy: you'd know Jimmy: [gives her a low key saucy look] Janis: 😳 Janis: [is that emoji good thing he probably can't see] Jimmy: you having one or 🚭 now? Janis: you offering? Janis: or just letting me know you hate me enough to light it now Jimmy: what was the question if it weren't that Jimmy: [but shakes the pack at her like hello?! cos cheeky] Janis: and you can't train Twix because??? Janis: [hesitates but comes over] Jimmy: don't wanna Jimmy: [gives her his which bit rude cos he's already started it & lights a new one for his self] Janis: poor baby Janis: [shakes her head like okay boy but still takes it] Jimmy: 💔 all around Jimmy: what would you do if I took your job, rich girl Jimmy: be bored to 💀 Janis: be nice Janis: don't reckon you're gonna give me that out though so Janis: [shrugs] Jimmy: you want out? Jimmy: 🐶💔 Janis: nah, not what I meant Jimmy: then what? Janis: 💀 Janis: but not gonna take poor Twix for a long walk to Beachy Head, don't worry Jimmy: I didn't lure you over here to murder you, dickhead Jimmy: threat of cancer or nowt Janis: gutted Janis: 💔 all around, you're right Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: I get it, not looking for that slow death Jimmy: me either Janis: something like that Janis: how quick is quick, do you reckon Jimmy: I'll let you know Jimmy: 👻 chat Janis: You did promise me a demi moore moment Jimmy: did I? Janis: think so Janis: maybe you just meant you'd cheat on me 'cos you're young and hot and on mtv, idk Jimmy: you know what I meant & I better not break it & your 💔 then I suppose Jimmy: [another lowkey saucy look] Janis: yeah? Janis: [looks back] Jimmy: gotta 💀 first though Jimmy: hang on, I'll step in front of a bus, if our fave driver is on I can really spread the 💔 about Janis: nah, always less of a promise, more of a threat but Janis: [finger guns at his head but with feeling, bitch] Janis: heart* Jimmy: [Bobby chooses that moment to lowkey fall off the climbing thing & like not serious but he's a little soft boy so has to go back & give him love] Janis: [takes several moments, offers Bobby some of her sports drink 'cos kids that age love anything that ain't a fruitshoot or water so he's buzzing] Jimmy: [big brother mode is activated so it's just cute & soft] Janis: How's Cass anyway? Jimmy: decent Jimmy: she's weird enough to like school Jimmy: or the break from him anyway Jimmy: [nods at Bobby but also clearly means Ian like] Janis: Fair enough Janis: not just your Da I miss, like Jimmy: she's been asking after you Jimmy: so mutual Jimmy: be 💔 she weren't here Janis: or she's playing the long game and is gonna come in swingin' Jimmy: maybe Janis: again, fair Jimmy: I didn't tell her you fucked off and 💔 me so Jimmy: probably should Janis: could Janis: or Jimmy: ? Janis: or you could not and let us be 💕 Janis: selfish 'til the end, me Jimmy: I told you, you can keep the dog Jimmy: you ain't having my sister Janis: worth a shot? Jimmy: she is less like hardwork now she's got a mate Janis: 👍 nice Janis: glad someone is living their best life Jimmy: as long as he is just a mate and she ain't 😍 for the lad Janis: cynic Jimmy: it's your fault Jimmy: you were meant to be a romantic Jimmy: tweeted it & everything Janis: sorry Janis: that tweet was fake, though, in my defence Jimmy: so was the sext but it still turned you on Janis: piss off Janis: [😳 again] Jimmy: are you? Janis: am I what? Jimmy: sorry Janis: yes Janis: of course I am Janis: I was sorry before I even did it, was during, definitely am now Jimmy: alright Jimmy: then I won't tell her about our real break up Janis: you can Janis: can do what you like Janis: I just, idk Jimmy: I don't want to Jimmy: I want Janis: [is looking at him casually not breathing here like] Jimmy: [is looking at her like !!! cos we all know what he wants] Jimmy: I want it not to have happened Janis: I can't un do it but we could Janis: it's our story, we can tell it how we want Janis: you know I didn't leave because of you, didn't want to leave you Jimmy: how do you wanna tell it? Jimmy: what happened Janis: I'm like you, I don't care what any of them think but it was like this Janis: I said things to Grace that I can't take back but then she said some things about me, about you and me, and then did what she did and then I was really scared I would actually hurt her and I don't mean like a slap, I mean I was terrified I would, I genuinely HAD to leave and that killed me because I didn't want to do that to you because I knew what it would do, that it would Janis: I'm so sorry Jimmy but I don't want to be that person, I don't wanna be like your Dad, really Jimmy: [hugs her really tightly because damn she needs it & Bobby joins in with a leg hug even though he don't know why & Twix is being cute] Jimmy: You're not Jimmy: You're Janis: [try not to cry, bitch 'cos love she hasn't felt since when?] Janis: I said really disgusting things, how could I turn around and tell you, I didn't want you to think of me like you think of him, but I was and it was so, it's shit being a bad person and knowing it, just shit Jimmy: [is just stroking her hair & being comforting because it's okay babe] Jimmy: what do you always say, nowt is unfixable Jimmy: you ain't gone & neither is she Janis: I don't know, some shit runs too deep Jimmy: she loves you though, I heard her say it enough when she was pissed Jimmy: & she's looked like shit the whole time you were gone Jimmy: I know you reckon she always cries but Janis: [does casual little sob lol 'cos his tact always, so in love bye] Janis: she said she's done Jimmy: I told you to piss off too but Janis: but? Jimmy: [kisses her which ouch cos the lip but he don't care] Janis: [kisses him back 'cos forgets herself but touches it so gently after] Janis: I'm so sorry Jimmy: me too Jimmy: it weren't just you Jimmy: I got scared when you were leaving so I had to make you, alright Jimmy: but don't Janis: I really did try not to fuck you up with it but Janis: I know I still did Jimmy: I am fucked up, that ain't your fault Jimmy: was before Jimmy: I don't want it to ruin this, but sometimes Janis: me too Janis: x3 Jimmy: you know how important you are to me Jimmy: so let's just Janis: can we Jimmy: we have to Jimmy: I can't do this without you Jimmy: be here Jimmy: be this dickhead Janis: [kisses him but avoiding the split expertly this time] Janis: you know I still mean what I said, don't you Jimmy: If I believed you were a virgin I can believe that Janis: [actually lols and nudges him like oi] Jimmy: [joins the lol] Jimmy: everything's shit Jimmy: except you Jimmy: that's what I know Janis: it's a cheek to ask but Janis: stay Janis: please Jimmy: [kisses her again & lowkey forgets it'll hurt him again cos so much love sorry bout it] Janis: you gotta be careful, boy Jimmy: I just Janis: me too Jimmy: I thought about you every second Janis: I should've text you, I didn't know what to do for the best Janis: nothing would make it better, for real Jimmy: I did but I didn't send 'em Jimmy: I Jimmy: it's better that I didn't Janis: don't worry, I imagined all the things you could say Janis: it was worse punishment to get nothing Jimmy: it weren't like Jimmy: it was just more about me Jimmy: & we said we aren't going that far back, yeah Janis: we don't have to, we're doing whatever we want, that's all Jimmy: well right now I have to go to the shop 'cause I promised our kid some sweets Jimmy: but if you wanna come with me then Janis: someone'll have to watch Twix, yeah? Jimmy: she is very badly trained Jimmy: 💔 Janis: slander Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: come on Jimmy: [Bobby & Twix are in front being cute so they can also be cute cos HANDHOLDING bitches] Janis: I missed you so much Jimmy: [kisses her again cos same but is more careful this time at least] Jimmy: I miss you Jimmy: I need Jimmy: more of this Janis: [nods like boy same] Janis: take it your house is a bit of a no-go for me though Jimmy: bit rude of me to ask but can we take these two to yours with us Jimmy: I know its overrun with cats but Jimmy: I don't know where the fuck he is or when he'll be back Janis: Yeah, 'course Janis: the cats will either run or give her a smack so she does but either way, it's cool Jimmy: I'll set Bob up with some drawing to do or whatever Jimmy: he'll be alright Janis: there's loads to do at mine, my sisters have got kids so there's toys and shit about, someone will keep an eye whilst we're Janis: busy Jimmy: It's bad that all I can think about is how much I want you, instead of worrying about him, isn't it? Jimmy: but Jimmy: I do Jimmy: want you so much Janis: nah, 'cos he's gonna be fine Janis: and Janis: I need that Janis: we both do Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: it just feels like forever Janis: I know Janis: especially since you kissed me Jimmy: you didn't forget about me, did you? Jimmy: 'cause if I have to remind you of everything I will but Jimmy: we're gonna need time Janis: How could I? Janis: as much as I really don't wanna turn that offer down Jimmy: I don't know just Jimmy: other lads Janis: oh Janis: guess that would make sense, where and how I'd been staying away, yeah? Jimmy: I'm not like Jimmy: It's alright Jimmy: we were broken up Janis: no, it's alright, fair assumption Janis: I didn't though Janis: just one lad who brought me home but I didn't sleep with him Jimmy: bit rude that you never asked but I didn't either Jimmy: no lads caught my eye Janis: know who your 💘 belongs to that's why Janis: should get the tat, very manly Jimmy: Obviously I drunk dialed Barry every night Jimmy: that's just Jimmy: what a man's gotta do Janis: [is loling] Janis: exactly Janis: who could blame you? not me Jimmy: nor my ex, she's well fuming with him basically every second so Jimmy: well rid Janis: you didn't get her on the line, did you Janis: not that I'm bothered but awkward Jimmy: only so I could teach her how to keep a man Janis: not 💔 at all, you savage Jimmy: she did message me for real the other day Jimmy: that was weird Janis: yeah? Janis: if she asked for hair she's probably not making a shrine, soz to burst your bubble, babe Jimmy: 😂 Janis: was it actually alright though, baby daddy drama aside Jimmy: she was Jimmy: her usual self Jimmy: that's all we need to say Janis: [does the ooh damn sound] Janis: can't wait 'til you start describing me like that Janis: 💀 Jimmy: you're not a mess Jimmy: & you didn't break up with me long enough ago to have a kid with someone else Janis: well Janis: to the best of my knowledge, nah Jimmy: if you're pregnant by that lad who gave you a lift I'm gonna be so mad Jimmy: just so you know Janis: 'less his spunk is dead hardy and survivng on those crusty sheets I had to sit on Jimmy: 🤢🤢🤢 Jimmy: there's the romantic I fell for Jimmy: welcome back Janis: ikr Janis: was magical Jimmy: #goals everywhere you go babe Janis: hard job but someone's gotta do it Janis: no way was I letting my brother pick me up, crying and having van flashbacks alone Jimmy: reminds me, are you gonna tell me who it is so I can beat the shit out of him or do I have to guess? Jimmy: you could've asked me Jimmy: I've offered to steal a car for you before, remember Janis: thankfully your paths will never cross 'cos he's that massive dickhead I told you about, remember Janis: also assumed being partners in crime was slightly out the window at the time so Jimmy: [makes the 😒 face IRL same Jimothy cos that lad's a delight, trust] Janis: don't look at me like that, I know Janis: needs must Jimmy: but did you really need to Jimmy: with that Janis: yeah, I'd ran out of cash, believe it or not Janis: can't use your card if you're serious Jimmy: [is pouty] Janis: Babe Janis: your lips are big enough right now, that's frankly obscence Janis: I told you, I didn't fuck him Jimmy: It's not that Jimmy: just Janis: I just weren't ready to see any of them Janis: to ask any of them for anything, that just ain't how I do Jimmy: I know Jimmy: It just scares me Jimmy: thinking about you being gone Jimmy: what could've happened Janis: [squeezes his hand tight] Janis: I'm well hard, despite what you've claimed, rudely, in the past Jimmy: if you have to go, take me with you, alright Jimmy: next time Janis: okay Janis: promise Jimmy: okay Jimmy: [nods his head in the direction of the approaching shop] Jimmy: want owt? Janis: aw get us some 🍬 too please Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [gives her a really good kiss before he goes cos who knows how long Bobby will keep him in there choosing] Janis: [says 'love you' instinctively but it's quiet 'cos soft and as he's going in so he could pretend to not hear] Jimmy: it's a fucking 🐘🐅🐆🐫 in here Jimmy: that's zoo in case you were Jimmy: know you can't pick emojis to save your life Janis: not all creatives like you babe 🙄 Janis: gimme a break Jimmy: you're having one with your 🐶💕 Janis: yes please shh we're having a lovely time Jimmy: she's been such a tiny dickhead Jimmy: tah for not taking her with you Janis: was that not what I was meant to be teaching her? 🤔 Janis: whoops Jimmy: 🥇 already Jimmy: at that Janis: nah, never beat the master, thank you very much Jimmy: so supportive babe 💕 Jimmy: nah she won't Jimmy: I'm 💪 Janis: awks when I meant me Janis: this type of misunderstanding is why safe words were invented Jimmy: I know what you meant Jimmy: always do, me Janis: oh yeah? Jimmy: yeah Janis: don't hate the idea of you getting me Jimmy: don't hate the idea of having you Jimmy: right now I really don't Janis: fuck Jimmy: tie the dog somewhere & come kiss me again before I 💀💀💀 Janis: [does 'cos whipped and when it's what's what you want it's what you want] Jimmy: shit Jimmy: I don't wanna stop Jimmy: can't actually Janis: you Janis: you've gotta Janis: might be a zoo but don't reckon they're down for that kinda 🙈 business Jimmy: just gimme Jimmy: a sec Jimmy: more Janis: [does oh lads] Jimmy: you feel so Jimmy: stop me Janis: but Janis: I don't wanna Jimmy: but actually walk out Jimmy: 'cause I want Jimmy: & I'll do it if you don't Janis: [has Twix losing her shit so she can 'cos 100% looking at him like challenge accepted, gurl no] Jimmy: please go Janis: [is gone] Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: can anyone pick us up 'cause if it takes forever to get to your house I'll Janis: can but ask Janis: won't go with the selfie approach this time, you'll be glad to know Jimmy: I'd rather you asked your hippie brother so we can go with that approach but Janis: I will Jimmy: 💕 Janis: he's about, also good with kids so a sound choice for babysitter Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: Bob's was alright with him so must be Jimmy: he don't like anyone Janis: wonder where he gets that from Jimmy: not the 🐶 Jimmy: right slag she is Janis: 😱 Janis: it's called being friendly Jimmy: I can be friendly Jimmy: I'll show you Janis: did I tell you how much I missed you? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: but say it again Janis: I missed you so bad, Jimmy Jimmy: you're gonna show me too, yeah Janis: 'course I am Janis: so much to make up for Jimmy: go with the selfie approach right now Jimmy: I'm gonna be in this shop forever Janis: poor boy Janis: dunno know sexy you think I can be just outside but Janis: 💪 okay Jimmy: it's not a challenge if anyone can do it Jimmy: impress me Janis: you're being really Janis: inspiring, right now Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: so come on Janis: [selfies] Jimmy: It's Jimmy: but you only win if I'm begging you to come back in Janis: 😖 Janis: hold on then Jimmy: ready when you are Janis: [has gone somewhere less public for a sec so she can go harder] Janis: better? Jimmy: I Janis: 😩 Janis: you're playing so hard to get today Jimmy: I just really want you to win Janis: give me a clue, please Janis: wwhat do you really want Jimmy: you don't need any clues to that Jimmy: you can do this Jimmy: you're my muse, remember Jimmy: you tell me what I want Janis: okay babe Janis: [sends him short video playing and saying how bad she wants him and missed him etc 'cos go hard or go home] Jimmy: that sent a fucking shiver through me Jimmy: your brother better be on his way or you better come back Jimmy: 'cause you win Jimmy: I'm Janis: 😍 good Janis: I'm happy Janis: so tell the kid to get a wriggle on 'cos he's about to pull up Jimmy: okay baby Jimmy: I'm happy to do anything you say right now Jimmy: fuck Janis: I don't know if I can handle waiting much longer so Jimmy: you don't have to Jimmy: [they come out] Janis: [get in this van kids] Jimmy: [puts the kid and the dog in the front with Iggy for distraction so they can be alone in the back] Janis: it's been way too long since we were alone Jimmy: I know Janis: it's been so fucking hard seeing you at School and not even being able to talk to you never mind Janis: e with you Janis: be* Jimmy: I promised to fuck you at school Jimmy: I will Janis: God, yeah? Janis: [gets on his lap] Jimmy: first thing Monday Jimmy: I swear Janis: [is kissing him all over] Jimmy: why did I wear so much Janis: you didn't know you'd be seeing me Janis: or we'd end up here Janis: we can make it happen Jimmy: but I was thinking about it Jimmy: I told you, I haven't stopped thinking about you Janis: [takes off his then her outerwear to make it a bit easier without being suspect] Janis: tell me again Janis: but more Jimmy: [whispers it in her ear & her name with it cos like obvs] Janis: [can't even help the sounds she just made] Jimmy: [kisses her so he don't also 'cause you don't need to get rumbled before you've begun kids] Janis: do you want me to go down or you or do you wanna just fuck, I can't decide Janis: I'm so Jimmy: I want everything Jimmy: but I want to be inside you more than anything else Jimmy: you're just Janis: we've got nothing but time Janis: we'll do everything but Janis: just fuck me right now, hard and fast Jimmy: just cum for me hard & fast Jimmy: I need to feel that Janis: how does it feel when I cum around you Janis: I know how good it is when you cum inside me but Ive always wondered Jimmy: like Jimmy: you love me Janis: I do love you Jimmy: it kills me every time you say that Janis: in a good way? Jimmy: in a way that I can't even describe Jimmy: I'm dying but I've never been more alive at the same time Jimmy: maybe Janis: I'll keep telling you, you're so fucking good with words Jimmy: or like I've got everything to lose but nowt 'cause I've got you & you're literally telling me I do Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: just Janis: [kisses him so hard so she isn't just screaming ILY in his face] Jimmy: I really Jimmy: feel it too you know Janis: I know baby Jimmy: you're all I want Janis: you've got me Janis: I'm completely yours Jimmy: [is doing his thing where he's trying to pull her closer the whole time but there's no closer to get. I love this clingy boy] Janis: [hops on that dick 'cos here's how you can get closer] Jimmy: oh my god Jimmy: [puts music on but a different song cos we're making new mems here kids] Janis: good idea 'cos Janis: wow Janis: you feel so Janis: right Janis: inside me Jimmy: I literally don't wanna ever do this with anyone else Jimmy: that's what you feel like Janis: good Janis: just me Janis: [makes him look at her by holding his chin] Jimmy: [sexy eye contact ftw cos when you're not me you can do that] Janis: the way you look at me Jimmy: how do more people not? Jimmy: seriously Jimmy: you're so fucking beautiful I Janis: I don't want them to Janis: no one else could make me feel so much with just a look Jimmy: I don't want them to either Jimmy: 'cause you're my girlfriend Janis: [starts exaggerating every move she makes, making it deeper as well as being in time to the song] Janis: I am Jimmy: baby Jimmy: [has to bite his lip 'cause damn so be careful boy] Janis: no Janis: bite me instead Jimmy: [does because who could refuse] Janis: I do like it when you call me baby, how did you call that Jimmy: you liked it when I fake said it Jimmy: I could tell Janis: there's a lot of things I liked that we fake did Jimmy: me too Jimmy: but this is Janis: real Jimmy: & better Janis: so fucking good Jimmy: [is just being extra on any of her exposed skin casually] Janis: how does that feel Janis: it's that perfect spot between pain and fucking Janis: whatever you make me feel is called Jimmy: how do you taste so Jimmy: all of you Jimmy: anywhere Janis: I don't know all I know is I want you to fucking devour me so maybe that helps Jimmy: everyone's gonna know we're back together Jimmy: I've really Janis: good Janis: do more, I'm your girlfriend Jimmy: [does & harder cos dutiful boyfriend] Janis: Jimmy that feels Jimmy: say it Janis: like fucking heaven Jimmy: [keeps going cos what more do you need to hear honestly] Janis: [going harder, takes one of his hands and puts it where she needs it] Janis: make me cum for you Jimmy: [hopefully does or else awkward] Janis: [takes his fingers away when she's just about to and put them in her mouth to suck on so she doesn't scream when she cums on his cock] Jimmy: shit Jimmy: you should do that more Janis: which part Jimmy: the bit where nobody knew how loud you wanted to be Jimmy: it's gonna be really helpful at school Janis: okay, something to occupy my mouth Janis: noted Jimmy: me though Jimmy: I liked it Jimmy: don't just be putting random school supplies in there Janis: [lols which appaz feels really good js] Janis: okay, also noted Janis: 🤓 so studious Jimmy: also I really fucking like you Jimmy: note that down, nerd Janis: 😏 Janis: write it all over my schoolbooks, obvs Jimmy: my name better be on there Jimmy: are we #goals or not Janis: 'course Janis: anything artsier than that you'll have to do yourself Jimmy: I've already drawn you all over mine Jimmy: but if I can find the space, I'll draw you like you just were Jimmy: 'cause you're that nerd Janis: think you might get in some trouble for that Jimmy: I'm ready to get in trouble for you Jimmy: you know that Janis: I'm ready to do this for as long as we can Jimmy: I'm not stopping unless you beg me to Jimmy: & then its a maybe Janis: fuck me Jimmy: you heard me, I'm gonna Jimmy: if you don't need me to carry you into your house what are we even doing Janis: how are you so Janis: actually feel it almost again already it's not fair how good you are Jimmy: nah, how are you so Jimmy: I want you all the time Janis: it made me wanna die thinking we'd never again Janis: because not only do I love you but I still wanted you so bad too it was Jimmy: don't think about that, baby Jimmy: you don't have to Jimmy: [puts in the work so she won't] Janis: how does he not hear I Janis: even if I'm really good I'm so wet it's so loud Jimmy: I reckon we're gonna owe your brother more than petrol money again, girl Jimmy: at least he's really good at distracting mine Jimmy: not a chat I need to have right now Jimmy: when brother's & their girlfriend's really love each other Janis: [hides her face like she's embarrassed but really just dying] Janis: don't Jimmy: hey, look at me Jimmy: I love you Janis: [cums again whilst making all the eye contact 'cos] Jimmy: [whispers that he loves her again cos can't be tamed now apparently excuse you boy did I consent] Janis: [saying it back again and again 'til it lowkey doesn't make any sense] Jimmy: [and then all the snuggles after cos they are the softest & I can't deal with it] Janis: knew we'd be here too soon Jimmy: don't you want me to carry you in & get you out of all those clothes? Jimmy: properly Janis: were you always this Jimmy: what compliment are you trying to backhand, sweetheart Jimmy: bit rude Janis: shh Janis: i just really want that and i really missed you, is all Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: 'cause same, alright Janis: come on then Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: [does carry her in which makes Twix highkey] Janis: don't trip she's always doing that Jimmy: [has a really cute concentration face on] Janis: 🤤 Janis: baby Jimmy: ? Janis: you're so fucking  cute Janis: continue Jimmy: [continues but then has to put her down cos I ain't letting him carry her all through the house thank you boy you'll hurt yourself] Jimmy: Let me just sort Bob's out & I'll be back with you Janis: 👍 Janis: you know where to find me Jimmy: don't be taking everything off though Jimmy: I said I'd do it Janis: I 🤞 Janis: I want you to Jimmy: I totally read that as 🖕 for a sec Jimmy: bit rude Janis: 😂 Janis: i'm being good, honest Jimmy: easy to say Jimmy: 😈 you Janis: depends how long you have to be Jimmy: time me Jimmy: then you can decide Janis: if you're longer than Janis: 5 minutes Janis: i can be 😈? Jimmy: if that's the #mood Jimmy: not gonna argue Jimmy: can't with a # Janis: so goals always you Jimmy: you're so #blessed Janis: feel it Janis: still Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: [actually is longer than 5 mins tho getting that shy kiddo sorted out but then appears leaning on her door frame like a nerd] Janis: [can't help but lol] Janis: hey handsome Jimmy: pissing yourself laughing ain't the reaction I expected Jimmy: did you get drunk in those few minutes, lightweight? Janis: maybe Janis: but only the fun kind Jimmy: without me Jimmy: bit rude Janis: you were longer than five, technically Janis: so can be as rude as I wanna Jimmy: so you had like a shot a minute? Jimmy: what a lad Janis: you wish Jimmy: not what I'm wishing Jimmy: but go on Janis: are you coming in to tell me all about it or what, nerd Jimmy: [comes in & kisses her] Jimmy: or what, I suppose Janis: [smiles happy af] Janis: I like it Jimmy: [is heart eyes cos her smile is rude] Janis: I really like having you as my boyfriend, you know Jimmy: I really like having you as my girlfriend, you know Jimmy: [takes off the first layer of whatever she's wearing & kisses her all over there so soft] Janis: [is playing with his hair and making all the contented noises she wants] Jimmy: [repeat for every layer, with the kisses getting less soft as we go, until there are none] Janis: [takes off his clothes a lot less soft and considered 'cos damn, her hands roaming all over his body again 'cos damn] Jimmy: [hot naked make out session they finally deserve for a while cos clothes are always a damn issue] Janis: why do you have to wear clothes Janis: it's rude Jimmy: so that you don't 💀💀💀 Janis: so considerate Janis: 💕 Janis: the rest of the world is probably mad at me but Jimmy: nah, I told you, selfish Jimmy: more use to me alive Jimmy: so I want you to stay like it Janis: always good to get it out there that you ain't a necrophile Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: that ain't all I want you for Jimmy: mostly but there's also the 🐶 Janis: 😂 soz Janis: your intentions are so pure Jimmy: they really ain't Jimmy: not right now Janis: should hope not Janis: [gestures at self] Janis: bit rude, like Jimmy was timed out 2 days ago Jimmy joined the chat 2 days ago Jimmy: [does a lil lol oh these nerds] Janis: you're so Janis: [can't even so is just letting her hands explain] Jimmy: [likewise cos likewise can't even] Janis: we're gonna do this for a while Janis: me and you Janis: right Jimmy: unless you're planning on kicking me out Jimmy: bit rude though Janis: really not what I've got in mind Jimmy: [is doing everything deliberately slowly in like a sexy lingering way cos same & they've got time bitch] Janis: [is enjoying] Janis: stay forever Jimmy: [is also obvs & promises out loud cos he's always doing that] Janis: [kisses and saying missed you again and again 'cos true] Jimmy: [all the kisses everywhere all the time because too in love & too cute] Janis: [use your imagination for however long they're allowed] Jimmy: [I'm giving them time they deserve it & also saying that Grace met Twix and Bobby during & it was cute when she came back to get/do whatever but is now gone again cos we don't need that awks rn] Janis: Miss you alreay Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause misses doing that already extra boy] Jimmy: but not to become your dad's 🥇 I'm so hungry though Janis: 😏 Janis: you actually want something though? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: gotta stay alive, don't we Janis: [takes his hand and takes him upstairs] Jimmy: [nearly gets tripped over by Twix as standard] Janis: awh, she's missed you too Janis: [gives Twix love 'cos obvs shameless fave] Jimmy: nah she wants me out of the way 🔪 Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Janis: plot of a shit movie that Janis: me like soz I don't see it, she's my bestie Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: don't reckon your brother'll be rushing to make it for the #clout Janis: made weirder Janis: and she has that #starquality Janis: 'gram fame gone to her head, thinks she's an actress Jimmy: & MOST importantly, I've got this face Jimmy: [grins] Janis: [fakes snapping pics like a nerd] Janis: so beautiful Jimmy: [actually does snap a pic of her though 'cause she is] Jimmy: I know Janis: [blush blush] Janis: think he's at work so you'll have to put up with me 💔 Janis: always leftovers though Janis: [gestures at fridge like go for it] Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: [gets his plate of food & is eating it but also gestures that she comes & sits on his lap cos fave thing] Janis: [does even though she's making faux complaints like 'you know it'd be easier to eat otherwise, yeah?' etc] Janis: 👍? Jimmy: [kisses her cos shh but also love you] Jimmy: what the fuck is it though? Jimmy: I can basically remember who you are Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Empadão Janis: 'cos you're predictable and Northern Janis: chicken pie but make it extra [shrugs] Jimmy: [shakes his head but lols a little] Jimmy: say it for me then 'cause you ain't Jimmy: & I'm not learning any paddy lingo am I Janis: [does and any sides he probably has] Jimmy: [is shamelessly heart eyes about it not sorry it's hot thanks for coming through for your kids like that Caleb] Janis: [rolls her eyes but gives him a forehead kiss] Jimmy: [feeds her some of the food cos we all gotta eat babe] Janis: [someone walks in and then out again and she's so moody] Janis: wish I had my own place Jimmy: me too Jimmy: me or you Janis: and a car Jimmy: 👌 I'll steal my dad's stop begging 😏 Janis: as much fun as it'd be to leave it burnt out under some underpass Janis: don't wanna see ian on the bus soz Jimmy: [as if evoked by the mention of his name he rings wanting to know where Bobby is & Jimmy's like with me bitch cos you don't need details thank you] Janis: ✞ Janis: that was sinister Jimmy: have a word with your god please Jimmy: I should probably check on the boy though Jimmy: hold on Janis: yeah, see if they've fed him or what Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [is a while establishing his little bro is living his best life in the Cali gaff] Janis: [is seeing what kid appropriate shit they have anyway 'cos reckons he's probably picky] Jimmy: [brings this little legend into the kitchen & he's chatting SO MUCH ABOUT EVERYTHING like who is he cos normally so shy & quiet] Janis: [is just smiling 'cos nice to see and gets him food he'd like and some shit to try] Jimmy: [Jimothy is also smiling cos he's eating it & not being a baby diva which he normally would] Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: first my 🐶 then my sister & now him, yeah? Jimmy: #yourinfluencebabe Janis: 💁 Janis: take my credit and praise now please and thanks Jimmy: good 'cause you ain't getting no cash from me, rich girl Jimmy: jobless & closer to penniless every sec like Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: 😢 Janis: poor boy Janis: can't even make the most of it now school Jimmy: my own fault Jimmy: I really fucked that interview Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: I didn't exactly help so Janis: you'll get the next one Jimmy: [kisses her cos shhh] Janis: back doing what you 💕 in no time Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I get it, you really want a smoothie Jimmy: calm down Janis: just don't want Doris to die on hunger strike, like Janis: needs a pot of tea and victoria sponge stat Jimmy: 💕👵 Jimmy: [actually starts making her a smoothie though cos in this kitchen I think so bitch] Janis: can forcibly remove the boy from the CG Janis: 😏 Jimmy: I can forcibly remove you from my work space if you're gonna kick off, girl Jimmy: 💪 Janis: 😂 Janis: not how I remember it but go off Jimmy: [playfight cos it's been so long] Janis: [so domestic 'scuse you fam] Jimmy: [turns into kisses cos he is so in love rn soz but not everybody] Janis: I love you Jimmy: it's gonna be a bit awkward now if you don't Jimmy: [but carries on making the smoothie cos love you too babe] Janis: anything to save from an awkward moment Jimmy: [touches one of the many lovebites he gave her earlier] Jimmy: yeah Janis: you Janis: [blushing, mad about it] Jimmy: me Jimmy: what? Janis: dickhead Janis: [but kisses] Jimmy: I love you too Janis: [has to go sit 'cos can't even deal] Jimmy: what are we doing tonight then Jimmy: out to flaunt it or it to make 'em wish we would Jimmy: in* Janis: we can go out as long as we don't go to any party they could be at Jimmy: easy Jimmy: you're gonna talk to Grace though? Janis: shh Jimmy: I'll set the 🐶 on you Jimmy: or the kid Janis: they both love me rn Janis: do your worst Jimmy: [beckons Bobby over & whispers to him like 'tell her she's gotta do what I say' but when he goes over to Janis he says 'you've gotta do what I say' cos cheeky] Janis: [lols and goes around doing whatever things a six year old can think of] Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: miss you already Janis: mr steal your girl Jimmy: [brings her her smoothie in a bit cos let's say they are in the garden with Twix playing] Jimmy: [but was a while cos he would have cleaned up & everything cos how he living] Jimmy: let's just find a pub we aren't banned from Jimmy: parties are bollocks Janis: [nods 'cos yeah] Janis: sounds good to me Jimmy: 👍 Janis: how do you do this Janis: actually knackering Jimmy: you've met my dad Jimmy: Bobby's a holiday compared to Ian Jimmy: [is giving the dog some 'begrudging' love we see you boy] Jimmy: you can just admit I wore you out, it's alright Janis: fair Janis: he's cute Janis: not Ian Janis: before you start Janis: 😒 because I will admit no such thing either, thank you Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: drink your energy, baby Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [does 'cos loves a smoothie moment] Janis: tah Jimmy: alright? Janis: wasted on the old ladies, babe Jimmy: 👵💔 Jimmy: tweet it, girl Jimmy: Doris'll square up Janis: not afraid Janis: 🥊 Janis: get onboard or leave, bitch Jimmy: protect me then Janis: nah, she'll pine from a distance 💔 Janis: same bitch Jimmy: [kisses her cos shh but soft] Janis: how's it feel being so #wanted, babe? Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: [asks her cos he's a nerd] Janis: [pushes him down so she can lay her head on his stomach and lay in the grass together] Jimmy: you're so Jimmy: hate you a bit Janis: well I need a pillow so hush Janis: just that worn out, yeah? Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I'm multi-talented Janis: [tickles his belly like shh but love] Jimmy: [is like oi & throws some grass at her like we all used to do at school but loves it really] Janis: [grass fight lmao mature] Jimmy: [but then he gets to play with her hair after cos grass in it so 😍 even though he lost] Janis: gonna be finding that forever now Jimmy: I'll get it 🏆 Jimmy: [blatant excuse to just keep playing with her hair for ages] Janis: 🐒 you Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: [doesn't stop though] Janis: like it Janis: [does] Jimmy: I know Jimmy: you like me Jimmy: always going on about it, you Jimmy: [but kisses her again cos same] Janis: you piss off Janis: 😶 Janis: never say it  now Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: [whispers 'baby please' in a saucy way cos cheeky] Janis: [gives him a stop it look 'cos kills her and sassily turns and gives Twix love] Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: [kisses her neck and shoulder so much cos she turned away & he's being annoying] Janis: [can only stay strong for so long before turning back and giving him a long-ass kiss] Janis: kiss of life, you're welcome Jimmy: say it for me Janis: [does but whispers in his ear 'cos being extra enough poor Bobs lol] Jimmy: let's Jimmy: go back to your room Jimmy: for a bit Janis: okay Janis: just Jimmy: help me up Janis: [helps this soft boy] Janis: 💪 Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: [actually is looking at her like that lowkey though] Janis: know just how to make me feel #wanted Jimmy: hang on, I ain't started yet Janis: 😏 Janis: promises promises Jimmy: well it weren't gonna be a warning Jimmy: told you, not trying to lure & murder you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: make me not 💔 about that, babe Jimmy: come on Janis: [skip ahead so they're in her room again don't need to be starting before ty] Jimmy: I've got no words left Jimmy: I just Janis: [takes her top off and is maintaining eye contact how they do] Jimmy: [is just looking at her like !! I can't even] Janis: [walks over to him deliberately slowly enjoy boy] Janis: take yours off Jimmy: [does & is also deliberately unf about it] Janis: [kissing down his body 'til she on her knees in front of him like hey] Jimmy: [you know this boy just dying okay damn] Janis: [painfully slow about unbuttoning etc] Jimmy: [is giving her a LOOK like he's so sassy but at the same time has literally stopped breathing so what's the truth Jimothy] Janis: [stops and looks up at him challengingly like 'you want me to stop?'] Jimmy: [looks back at her like girl you better not] Janis: [smirks like 'thought so' and finally, but suddenly, takes him fully into her mouth, moaning with it 'cos wants this as much] Jimmy: [thank god it's only Diego on this floor 'cause obvs he's also being loud & ridiculous about it] Janis: [back to teasing him 'cos gotta, just circling her tongue 'round and 'round and licking up and down like nbd] Jimmy: [is trying to be mad about but can't] Janis: you look really good from this angle Janis: just so you know Jimmy: 📷 me Jimmy: it's been ages since my last social media ban Janis: [lols but does 'cos he do and she wanna keep it so] Jimmy: [is obviously into the fact that she's gonna have that pic of him & makes it known whether he meant to or not] Janis: Get it Janis: nice to be the muse sometimes, yeah? Janis: [goes harder again 'cos poor boy] Jimmy: [says his 'yeah' out loud cos honestly] Janis: [is encouraged] Jimmy: [says her name a lot cos it'll encourage her more] Janis: [says similarly encouraging things back 'cos feeling it and imma let you finish boy] Jimmy: [is very much feeling it as we can imagine] Janis: we don't have time to Janis: do we? Jimmy: we'll make time Jimmy: 🥇 aren't we Janis: you Jimmy: you Jimmy: seriously Janis: [takes whatever she's got on her bottom off too and stands up] Janis: please then Jimmy: [never needs to be told twice so go off kids] Janis: [after snuggling wherever they landed 'cos we know lol] Jimmy: [his dad calls again cos that prick & he don't answer cos busy thank you but like he'd just keep ringing so eventually does] Jimmy: I gotta take this kid back Janis: 👍 Janis: want me to think of somewhere decent and meet you there or am I picking you up at 8 like the gentleman I am Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: do you want me to get lost? Jimmy: 'cause if not you gotta come find me Janis: 👌 Janis: true Janis: can't have a repeat of the cow incident Janis: tell Ian to put the shotgun away then Jimmy: meet me 'round the corner so I don't have to chat to him Jimmy: I reckon I can find my way that far alone Janis: believe in you, babe Janis: [kiss for 🍀] Jimmy: [another really long kiss for bye] Janis: [says ily 'cos she can bitch] Jimmy: [is 😳 & 😍] Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: actually 8 or was that a full pisstake? Janis: whenever you're ready, I'm still her avoiding hoes too so Janis: sooner the better Jimmy: once I get home won't be long Jimmy: just need to shower Jimmy: & make sure Cass is back Jimmy: 'cause he don't give a shit if she's alright or owt 🙄 Janis: 🙄 Janis: and here I was thinking you were father of the year Janis: tragic Jimmy: sort it out Ian Jimmy: you've let yourself down, Leprechaun town down & most importantly your son's missus Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: fully #teambobby now Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: reckoned you were only team 🐶 Janis: I'm very mysterious Janis: gotta keep you 🤔 Jimmy: I already know you chat shit Jimmy: it's alright Janis: 😒 Jimmy: 🤞 I get our fave bus bloke & can keep him 🤔 Janis: gonna know that kid ain't mine for sure Jimmy: got your freckles though Jimmy: #whatsthetruth Janis: 😂 Janis: you're a nerd Jimmy: I'm saying I don't know where else they came from, girl Jimmy: take the credit Janis: maybe if that didn't mean Janis: 🤢🤢 Ian Jimmy: I get it, but he might not be his dad Jimmy: my mum ain't around to ask Janis: you two look alike though Janis: either her DNA 💪 or he sadly is Jimmy: if you tell me I look like my dad I'm dumping you Janis: if you did, you wouldn't ave anyone to dump Jimmy: touche Janis: 👍 Janis: fancy Jimmy: sometimes we use big words in the north Janis: I know Janis: 🍀 to have heard your way with words, boy Jimmy: don't be trying to make me 😳 at the bus stop Janis: but you wanna look cute for your man Jimmy: but he thinks I'm so 😎💪 Jimmy: let me have this one thing, girl, come on Janis: I'm selfish though Janis: don't act like you didn't know Jimmy: I like it Jimmy: don't act like you didn't know Janis: now who's trying to make who 😳 Jimmy: not trying but if you do 📷 it Janis: get you 😎💪 Janis: I'm so busy and important rn soz I can't Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: I'll just be busy missing you so much then Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: teach my sister a thing or two about a guilt trip, babe Janis: much better at it Jimmy: hang on, I'll hit her up Jimmy: since you're so busy Jimmy: 👍 Janis: shut up 🙄 Jimmy: alright Jimmy: 🎨 to do anyways can't let Bob outshine me 🏆 Janis: you are gonna have to up your game 'cos 🥇 that Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: #sheusedtosaythataboutme Jimmy: #storytime Janis: 😏 Janis: collab with gracieguru but i never did 'bout her so lies, babes Jimmy: actually 💔 me that Jimmy: Grace come & console me, girl Janis: you're the worst Jimmy: 🥇 to the worst in how many minutes? Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: #goals Janis: i'm ingorning you and pretending i need to get ready Janis: good day Jimmy: now that's a collab with your sister Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: it don't take that long to stick on some lashes I ain't having it Jimmy: I'll hit my ex up for the #truth, Gracie, come on Janis: 🤢 Janis: she'd probably hit you with a #dontwastegoodlashesonabadguy but i ain't gonna waste my breath on that, no tah Jimmy: 😂 Janis: probably should shower though, only fair if you are Janis: #polite Jimmy: I don't care if you don't wanna Jimmy: It's the one place I can't hear my dad having a go at me though so I'm committed Janis: 👍 Janis: I feel it Janis: have to lock the door and some of these fuckers might still be banging to be let in but Janis: piss in the garden or hold it 😘 Jimmy: how many bathrooms have you got, rich girl? Jimmy: I know it ain't just the one Janis: 5 Janis: but at the worst, we had over double that in people so it's not as luxurious as it could be Janis: plus they just got boundary issues, you can tell Jimmy: I've met Grace, yeah Jimmy: tried to be sick on me one convo deep Janis: exactly Janis: and you didn't share a womb with her so Jimmy: but we're still a bathroom for 4 so I don't feel sorry for you Jimmy: 5 if my dad's feeling 💕 Janis: 🤷 Janis: damn Janis: all I needed you for Janis: bye, like Jimmy: stick some classic FM on babe, you'll be alright Jimmy: maybe go say hi to Pete Jimmy: I miss him so much 💔 Janis: same 💔 Janis: I need to know what he's doing with his life Janis: so many unanswered questions Jimmy: OMG you should invite him out tonight, honey Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: #getyourman Janis: 😖 what if he don't remember me Janis: I'll straight up DIE Jimmy: babe you know you're unforgettable Janis: ���🙈🙈 Janis: such a good friend Jimmy: duh Janis: 💖 Janis: wanna get matching tattoos Jimmy: obvs! Jimmy: what do you wanna get? Jimmy: 🦋 or infinity symbol Janis: 🤔 Janis: such a hard decision Janis: all I know is I'm getting it on my ass Jimmy: I'm getting it on my wrist Jimmy: gotta Janis: 😬 Janis: #whenyourbestieisabasicbitch Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: soz babes but someone had to say it Janis: saving you from how much everyone would drag you Jimmy: 👌 I love you again Jimmy: tah babes Jimmy: 💖💖💖 Janis: 😘 wanna have a sleepover? Jimmy: I don't have to fake that enthusiasm Jimmy: I really do Janis: duh Janis: me too Janis: can't be too mad, no church and no school tomorrow so 👍😇 Jimmy: did you have a word with your god yet? Jimmy: maybe wait for a bit Janis: I ain't putting my sunday best on for you either Janis: be more blatant that you wanna change me Janis: 😭 Jimmy: as long as you've got your skirt on for Monday, I forgive you Jimmy: be that nice to me Jimmy: please Janis: I wanna because you're gonna be even nicer to me, yeah? Jimmy: yeah Janis: 🤤 brb Jimmy: 😘 Janis: School's been so fucking shit without you Janis: more than normal Jimmy: you ain't even been there since the start Jimmy: it was Jimmy: it is but Janis: yeah that must've been Janis: sorry Jimmy: just Jimmy: if you're sick or something let me know Jimmy: 'cause I ain't going Janis: deal Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 💪 immune system but don't tell the teachers 'cos love a sickie Jimmy: gimme an invite & I'll shut up Jimmy: maybe Janis: dunno if I wanna hang w a grass, boy Janis: 'less you gonna look after me Jimmy: you know it Janis: pretend i took more convincing Jimmy: that's what we'll say Jimmy: promise Janis: 👌 Janis: you're the best, actual Jimmy: you Janis: you you you Jimmy: you're gonna make me 😳 for real Jimmy: stop Janis: soz, being annoying and I know it but Janis: I just Janis: I'm glad you're back Janis: I'm back, I guess Jimmy: it's not annoying Jimmy: you're Jimmy: doing your job as muse right now, I suppose Jimmy: & I'm glad Jimmy: but also Jimmy: you could be closer Jimmy: so I just Janis: I will be Janis: tonight Janis: whenever you want, I'm not going anywhere Jimmy: good Jimmy: stay Janis: you too Jimmy: alright Janis: alright that you will, yeah? Jimmy: I will Janis: good Janis: me too Jimmy: so where we going Jimmy: you sorted that yet Janis: keen 😉 Janis: sure Janis: I know lots of places Jimmy: you're keen Jimmy: I'm just asking Janis: obvs Janis: pisshead, ain't I? Janis: not about you, mate Jimmy: I got that Jimmy: could be anyone, me Janis: mhmm Janis: #thathoelife Janis: how many lads did I fit into a week again? Jimmy: 100s Janis: that high, best to be vague Jimmy: sounds more impressive than 101 or 2 Jimmy: just a weird number that Janis: oh now it's not good enough Janis: get back out there asap Jimmy: nowt's as impressive as me having Mia round for a quiet night in Jimmy: ain't my fault Janis: know that ain't true Janis: be having 👻 chat rn Jimmy: it is, she's just a really horny mute & I'm that 💪 Janis: 🖕 Janis: go get eaten, Taylor Jimmy: can't, one night with me & she's a changed lass Janis: 🙄 Janis: made her all bark no bite? Janis: boring Jimmy: her being boring's nowt to do with me Janis: 👌 Janis: convenient Jimmy: nah really inconvenient Jimmy: hoping for a 🐍 & got a 🐛 Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: not sorry for you, babe Jimmy: come on Jimmy: be 💔 for me Janis: 🤖 Jimmy: gimme at least 1 🎻 Janis: 🎺 Janis: how buzzin' I am you had a shit time Jimmy was timed out 36 hours ago Jimmy joined the chat 36 hours ago Jimmy: add a 🍆 & you've got it Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: 😑 you aren't funny Jimmy: a bit Janis: a lot of a dickhead though Janis: have that Jimmy: don't matter Jimmy: you like it Janis: perhaps Jimmy: I won't say owt to anybody don't worry Jimmy: this 🎨 will do the job Janis: yeah? cool but save your words for me, romeo Jimmy: I love you, alright Janis: eurgh 😉 Janis: shut up love you too Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: shutting up now Janis: you on the bus yeah Janis: already bored without you Jimmy: [sends a selfie of him & Bob's with Twix sitting in his backpack] Janis: 😍 Jimmy: tried to shove the boy in too but he wouldn't go Jimmy: getting too big 🙄 Janis: 💔 Janis: get one for that Jimmy: gimme a 🎻 though Jimmy: we're dancing here Janis: 'course, nerds Janis: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: he needs to hurry up & grow so he can just come to the pub with us Jimmy: then a shower with you & I'd have been good to go Janis: really worried you were suggesting he get in the shower too but I'm with you Jimmy: make it weird, girl Jimmy: it's been a bit Jimmy: since you were Janis: 'scuse me, when was I weird? Jimmy: how far back we going on it babe Janis: 😱 Janis: just today, can't handle any more than that tah, so fragile Jimmy: today 🤔🤔? Jimmy: that'd be every second then Jimmy: 💕 Janis: so rude Janis: if I wasn't you would have had a way more boring time so appreciate, thanks 💕 Jimmy: I am Jimmy: take the compliment, dickhead Janis: 😏 Janis: next job you get can they also give you boyfriend training Jimmy: I get it, trying to get outta that like you do with the 🐶 Janis: I think you'll find it's called delegating Jimmy: that sounds like a paddy excuse Jimmy: in the north we call it pissing about Janis: hmm, what makes you sure I'm up to the job with you if you also reckon I'm crap with the 🐶? Jimmy: if I answer that you're gonna 😳 again Jimmy: & anyway don't do that with questions, do I Janis: True enough Janis: gutting though it is Jimmy: you want me to chat or shut up? Jimmy: make your mind up like Janis: can't I have it both ways? #UGH #BOYS Jimmy: nightmare you Janis: I know 😘 Jimmy: what are you even doing right, layabout Jimmy: sort it out Jimmy: now* Janis: thinking 'bout you, dickhead Janis: my god given right think you'll find Jimmy: don't say that if you're only taking the piss Jimmy: 'cause now I'm thinking about you thinking about me Jimmy: & Janis: I ain't Janis: you had to leave too soon Janis: I think about you a lot Jimmy: I'm about to take over this bus like I'm in a shit action flick & turn it around Jimmy: I Jimmy: I want you a lot Janis: hot 😂 Janis: your GTA fetish becomes more and more obvious Janis: but I still want you more so Jimmy: I told you, Ian hates women Jimmy: & he's such a hands on parent Jimmy: ain't my fault I been raised on those mean streets Janis: s'cool Janis: we can kill hookers together Jimmy: #truelove Jimmy: muscle him out of the father son bonding activity 🏆💪 love that Janis: just that bitch 🤷 Janis: nice of him to take on that one motherly role, usually the woman like you ain't good enough for my baby boy Janis: 10/10 Ian Jimmy: so clingy you Jimmy: well it's his fault I ain't got one, only fair Janis: can you blame me? look at you Janis: exactly Jimmy: 😍😍😍 I get it Jimmy: I told you, I'm a good boyfriend Janis: too good Jimmy: you need to deal with that Jimmy: 'cause I ain't stopping Janis: yeah, you want me to? Janis: challenge accepted Jimmy: get used to me, girl Jimmy: I know I'm really 😎💪 but don't be intimidated Jimmy: you're alright too, for a girl Janis: never Janis: like how new you are Janis: know that's your #appeal Jimmy: fine I'll leave & come back so I'm the new boy again Jimmy: no need to beg Janis: you've already left, babe Janis: like the first time Jimmy: but maybe I gotta leave Leprechaun land Jimmy: bump up my #appeal Janis: no Jimmy: gotta get off this bus though Janis: I'll allow that Jimmy: 👌 Janis: any further than that you gotta gimme more warning so I can Jimmy: you can come with me Jimmy: you know Janis: where are we going? Jimmy: it don't matter Jimmy: you can come with me wherever Janis: you aren't bullshitting me Janis: swear Jimmy: I'm not Janis: Good Janis: we'll do it Jimmy: where do you wanna go? Janis: I don't care Jimmy: easy then Janis: anywhere a long way from here Janis: got family in london and nyc though so certain neighbourhoods we'd have to avoid Jimmy: fine by me Janis: 👍 Jimmy: how long do dogs live 'cause it's been enough bollocks having her on this bus for a bit Janis: she could go for another 10-15 easy Janis: you gonna show up when I'm boring and married and be like pack your bags is it Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: see if you've forgot about me Jimmy: but if you've got kids they ain't coming Janis: soz darlings, deal's a deal Jimmy: just don't marry that lift lad, alright Janis: do my best Janis: obvs wanna be mrs pete but who knows what'll happen, babe Jimmy: I told you, I saw him first Janis: well he 👀s me Janis: 🥊 you for him Jimmy: any time any place Janis: my imaginary children's lives depend on it so Janis: stand no chance, boy Jimmy: you ain't having any you said Janis: who am I to deny the world how cute pete's offspring would be Janis: anyway, in this pretend scenario also married and boring, both of which ain't ever happening either so roll with it Jimmy: you could just let him have them with the one he's with now Jimmy: be smart about it Janis: doubt she's as cute as me Jimmy: but come on Jimmy: that body Jimmy: you're gonna ruin it Janis: have you seen my ma Janis: #geneticallyblessed Janis: he don't need to have 10 either Jimmy: give him twins Jimmy: you'd be about that Janis: 😑 Janis: horror movie where the ptsd kicks in and i have to murder one like not again Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: your brother would make that Janis: 🤞ask grace to be in it, lad Janis: she'll 😭 Jimmy: can she cry on cue or what the fuck is it Janis: nothing useful like that Janis: it's just her natural state of being Jimmy: I get it, she's allergic to Mia Jimmy: #same Janis: allergic to her own bullshit more like Janis: or her expensive mascara, awks Jimmy: can I use the excuse that I'm allergic to my dad's Jimmy: either his girlfriend's mascara or his bullshit, don't matter Jimmy: just gotta quarantine myself Janis: can I visit? Jimmy: you have to Jimmy: can't nurse myself Janis: not that I'm amazing at it Janis: kept forgetting about your poor lip Jimmy: who the fuck has entered this chat Jimmy: 'cause you ain't never admitted to being less than 🥇 at owt ever Janis: 😏 shh Janis: not my fault you looked 🥇 Jimmy: & I forget about it any time you touch me so Janis: I really missed you Janis: not done showing you Jimmy: I miss you now Jimmy: so don't be Janis: ain't Janis: between that and how sorry I am, got so much to show you Jimmy: you're so sorry, aren't you? Jimmy: me too Janis: yes Janis: why are you sorry, babe Jimmy: it was my fault too Jimmy: I've gotta do my bit to make it up to you Janis: nah Janis: not gonna complain about that though Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you'r Janis: e Jimmy: what do you wanna say, baby? Janis: fuck Janis: just Janis: tell me when you're home, I wanna shower with you Jimmy: not far now Janis: okay Jimmy: I finished my masterpiece for you Janis: do I get a preview? Jimmy: do you want one? Janis: yes Jimmy: [gets what she wants of course] Janis: oh Janis: that's Janis: dead good Jimmy: you can have it Jimmy: in case you feel like you can't stay Janis: I'm gonna, promise Janis: but thanks Janis: I want it Jimmy: if you do stick around maybe you'll inspire me to draw you how you look Jimmy: 'cause I can't Jimmy: you're just Janis: but I can feel how it felt Janis: idk Janis: don't come for me, not an art critic Jimmy: but you're the only one who I give a shit about Janis: it's good, you're good Janis: trust me Jimmy: you are Jimmy: & I do Janis: ruining my rep tho Janis: got me feeling some type of way Jimmy: that rep should be ruined Jimmy: it's bollocks Janis: go hard then, babe Janis: doing a pretty 💪 job, like Jimmy: & I'm home Jimmy: so let's do more Janis: thought you'd never ask Janis: felt like the longest bus journey ever Jimmy: it was Jimmy: let me just check Cass ain't been impregnated by her boy mate Jimmy: hang on Janis: eurgh babe Jimmy: I'm not gonna do a physical one Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: simple yeah or nah Janis: such a dad Janis: poor cass Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: I weren't fucking when I was 12 Jimmy: won't kill her Janis: obviously but having this convo with you might Jimmy: I'll leave it for Ian, then she'll kill him Jimmy: job done Janis: exactly Janis: that's what parents, even shit ones, are for Jimmy: get in the shower Janis: damn Janis: not saying please now Jimmy: alright Jimmy: get in the shower please Janis: 👌 Janis: was going before you asked nicely Jimmy: & now I have what are you gonna do? Janis: wanna facetime Jimmy: do you? Janis: yes Janis: obviously Jimmy: then yeah, obviously Jimmy: go on Janis: [calls 'cos like my boo said phones are defs waterproof] Jimmy: [I'm just imagining his dad banging on the door cos in there forever lol] Janis: [suck it Ian, also later] Janis: lurking 'round your ends Janis: hurry up Jimmy: since you asked nicely Jimmy: [comes out with unlit 🚬 already in his mouth cos been with Bobby for an age but doesn't light up until he gets to where she is in case she wants one #whipped] Janis: [gives him a saucy 'that good?' look 'cos you know] Jimmy: [lols but is giving her a LOOK cos yes we know it was] Janis: [puts hands out like Oliver for a 🚬 'cos dork] Jimmy: [takes it out of his mouth & puts it in hers, lights it for her cos nice like that] Janis: [takes a drag then kisses him on the cheek] Jimmy: what's that for? Janis: 🚬 Janis: obvs Janis: and you know Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [fake cuffs him on the chin like shut up] Jimmy: [is all like oi & fake fighting her back like a cute nerd] Janis: don't get us kicked out 'fore we're even in, boy Janis: behave Jimmy: I'll screenshot that later when you're begging me not to Jimmy: even if it gets us kicked out Janis: psh Janis: please Jimmy: starting already look Janis: pisstake, you Janis: [walks faster but only a bit don't need that drama already] Jimmy: [pulls her back and kisses her cos he's that extra & hot & they can't kiss on facetime so] Jimmy: I'm what Jimmy: try again Janis: [casually can't breathe like boy] Janis: you're sucha pisstake, babe Jimmy joined the chat 31 hours ago Jimmy: [looks at her like 'excuse you, what' & then goes even harder kissing her again] Janis: [when you gotta stop but you don't wanna stop] Janis: okay, I like it though, you caught me Jimmy: okay Jimmy: [is smirking like] Janis: [nudges] Janis: bighead Jimmy: [nudges her back] Jimmy: you like it too though Jimmy: 😍 you Janis: err not a get out of jail free card to be the biggest dickhead you can be Janis: [is smiling tho] Jimmy: that sounds like a challenge to me, babe Jimmy: [is doing a cheeky grin back] Janis: what doesn't to you, boy Janis: tryna come for my 🥇 Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: always saying it, me Janis: are you? 🤔 Janis: hold on think I've got the wrong lad here Jimmy: [kisses her like its a goodbye vibe cos nerd] Jimmy: on you go then Janis: 😖 Janis: but Janis: maybe I wanna stay Jimmy: [gives her a look like 'only maybe?' and a little make out session ensues] Janis: [says definitely 'cos] Jimmy: [says ILY out loud cos] Janis: [druuuuuuuuuunk in love says it back and more smooching you know focus lads] Jimmy: [let them just have some moments of being able to kiss and be alone but like then imagine someone walks past like aaaayyyy! how people do] Janis: 😒 Jimmy: 🥊 Janis: weren't me Janis: not a ventriloquist Jimmy: not an idiot Jimmy: I meant beat the shit of him for us Jimmy: you and emojis Janis: risk this face? Janis: yours is already battered so Jimmy: don't you wanna twin with me? Jimmy: gutted 💔 Janis: don't ever use the T word ever again Jimmy: or what? Jimmy: you gonna smack me, girl Janis: don't be a twat Jimmy: how? Jimmy: I am what I am Janis: have to keep training you won't I Janis: [pats his head] Jimmy: good thing I ain't going nowhere then Jimmy: with your track record it'll take ages Jimmy: if ever Janis: actually rude Janis: gonna have her dancing on your grave like a showdog Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: pissing up the stone more like Jimmy: & she could do that now Janis: could she write FUCK U though Janis: I think not Janis: wait and see 👻 boy Jimmy: better hold my breath Jimmy: if you want me 💀 Janis: [puts her hand over his mouth then does that thing where you kiss it] Janis: 💕 rip Jimmy: what am I on about? don't need to do nowt me Jimmy: you kill me Jimmy: you're Janis: [looks at him all smug and smiley] Janis: you too Jimmy: [kisses her on that smug little face] Janis: now Janis: I got 2 plans Janis: depends if you really wanna see bus driver again or if you'd rather walk, promising I won't fuck off later and lose ya Jimmy: if you want me to get on that bus again you better have a fucking good plan Jimmy: for when we are & where we're going Janis: 😂 Janis: not as much hassle as a puppy and a six year old, so bit rude Janis: but we'll go with plan b Janis: keep walking, boyo Jimmy: 👍 Janis: don't lemme get as pissed tonight, tah Jimmy: you? nah Jimmy: never have been since I've known you like Janis: funny Janis: should quit school become a full-time 🤡 you Jimmy: I'll get your sister's mates to do my makeup Jimmy: it's alright, pisshead Jimmy: I'll look after you Janis: need that 💰 obvs Jimmy: 🤑 Janis: can't be downgrading Janis: how am I gony pay for my ponies Jimmy: more importantly, how you gonna brag on the 'gram Janis: honestly Janis: keep it fresh and #goals Janis: though can ride the seclusion wave for a bit, I reckon Jimmy: yeah? Janis: yeah Janis: keep getting random bitches coming up to me telling me how 🍀 I am Janis: welcome for the ego boost Jimmy: bit rude that they ain't been since I asked you out Jimmy: sort it out, lasses Janis: 😂 oh soz, sure the fan club meets weekly Janis: dickhead Jimmy: you know you feel it Jimmy: come on Jimmy: [gives her another REALLY good kiss] Janis: 👑 of the club, me, yeah 😏 Janis: could say something nice about me, not telling you how to do your job or nothing but Jimmy: [whispers some nice things about her in her ear & does the lobe thing cos we just gotta] Janis: [😳 emoji] Jimmy: job done? Janis: not even close Janis: [more smooching] Jimmy: so is plan b just this? Jimmy: only asking, not complaining Janis: you wish Janis: keep walking, boy Jimmy: maybe I do, girl Jimmy: [keeps walking though] Janis: later Janis: sleepover, remember Jimmy: won't forget, don't worry Janis: good Janis: didn't buy face masks for nothing, bitch Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: keep it #goals Janis: they'd love that 🙄 Janis: so woke of you to drop all that manly man toxic masculinity, like Jimmy: I'll pick it up later when the fans need me to be jealous & fight a lad or whatever it's alright Jimmy: do & have it all, me Janis: is that so Jimmy: you don't reckon? Jimmy: bit rude Janis: just saying Janis: keep being a knobhead and only thing you'll be doing is yourself Janis: [winks and sashshays away] Jimmy: tah for letting me know Jimmy: you gonna wingman me at the pub to find a new girl to chat shit to Jimmy: or am I proper on my own to try my luck Janis: not a miracle worker, babe Janis: bore the pants off some bitch in your own time t Jimmy: 👌 got loads while I'm unemployed Janis: 😒 Janis: remember who helped get you fired Jimmy: how could I forget? Jimmy: I hope I get fired for that kinda conduct every time Janis: probably not the rep you want on your CV but Jimmy: 🤞 whatever girl I find tonight ain't too boring Jimmy: 'cause I'm gonna get a new job soon Janis: shut up Jimmy: make me Janis: I'm not kissing you Janis: [overacting faux huffy but is also lowkey jealous 'cos always] Jimmy: what are you gonna do then? Jimmy: make a 😒 face 'til we get there? Jimmy: [lights another 🚬 'cause overacting that he ain't bothered] Janis: make a 😒 face all the way home Janis: see where night takes me Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: you know where the night's taking you Jimmy: [pulls her into his arms like, 'right here is where'] Janis: ['truce?'] Jimmy: [snuggles & then offers her the 🚬 cos that is a truce mood] Janis: [kissing and passing the 🚬 back and forth 'til it's finished 'cos kinda hot] Jimmy: [#goals actually am I right lads? then handholding cos they gotta keep walking or they'll never get there] Janis: oh fyi though Janis: can't bang me in this pub alright Jimmy: now you tell me Jimmy: 💔 Janis: I know Janis: false pretenses much Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: poor boy Jimmy: we're not in there yet Jimmy: how long have I got Janis: 😂 shh Jimmy: not an answer that Janis: be 😇 baby Janis: this walk should not take this long as is Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: me too baby me too Janis: maybe in the bathroom if you're quiet Janis: which you never are 😏 Jimmy: which is your fault Janis: not my fault you're so Jimmy: you're so Jimmy: that is your fault Janis: [back at it again] Jimmy: [is loud rn as proof that it's your fault for being the #dream Janis] Janis: how are we ever gonna get anything done Janis: so distracting Jimmy: I don't wanna do anything else Jimmy: I don't care Janis: yeah Janis: feel it Janis: do you reckon those old couples that you think are dead boring 'cos they just stay in all the time are just like fucking 24/7 Janis: maybe that's the truth Jimmy: let me know when it's you & Pete 💕 Janis: 😂 Janis: if I can find the time Jimmy: yeah don't call me while he's still going at you Jimmy: bit rude Janis: 💔 or 🤤 Janis: 👀 you, perv Jimmy: 😂 Janis: so like you Janis: after all this time just to steal my man Jimmy: I reckoned you were gonna say how like me not to answer Janis: I mean, valid Janis: but your thirst for pete doesn't need to be explained Janis: so blatant Jimmy: don't say thirst when I met him at the CG Janis: mhmm, there's a fanfic title in there somewhere Janis: been easier to fake date him to put the girls off but the 💕 was too real Jimmy: why didn't I think of that? Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: 🎻🎻💔🎻 Jimmy: girl you gotta go, soz Jimmy: in my way Janis: 🥊 you for him duh Janis: or you want me to let you win again? 😉 Jimmy: if it means I get Pete Jimmy: go on Janis: no Janis: down to stand in the way of true love soz not soz Jimmy: like I said, nightmare you Janis: your worst, babe Jimmy: gotta be 🥇 always Jimmy: I get it Janis: mhmm Janis: just getting over how mad I am at Grace for popping out 1st Janis: if you wanna be my therapist about it Jimmy: how much you gonna pay me, rich girl? Janis: tell me something I DON'T know already and I might give you something Jimmy: about you? Janis: that's what therapy is Janis: not a pub quiz 🤓 Jimmy: you're so in touch with yourself though Jimmy: don't reckon I can Janis: that's why I don't go motherfuckers Janis: no life-fixing realizations no dough Jimmy: just no cash my end Jimmy: gotta stay a mess Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 💔 Janis: selfishly works for me Janis: don't go spending that first new paycheck on sorting your life alright Jimmy: alright Janis: stay fucked with me for a while Jimmy: [promises out loud cos always a thing now] Janis: [skip them there 'cos honestly] Jimmy: what you drinking then, lightweight? Janis: that thing we had first time Janis: forgot the name, not already pissed Jimmy: 👌 hang on Jimmy: [goes to get 'em] Janis: [checking out the booty also checking Fearghal won't embarrass her lmao] Jimmy: stop staring at me Jimmy: I can feel it Janis: but you 👌 Jimmy: am I okay or I look okay what are you chatting? Janis: 😂 Janis: you look it Janis: but I meant more than okay 'fore you get pouty Jimmy: how good did you mean Janis: got caught staring didn't I? Jimmy: 'bout the 🍺 that though Janis: 💉💉 need my fix Janis: you stupid, good thing you cute too Jimmy: should I have dropped 💊 in it Jimmy: soz Janis: 🤔 reckon you ain't meant to let the girl in on that, babe Jimmy: that's what I've been doing wrong Jimmy: tah babe Janis: keep it between you and the barman, like #ladsladslads Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: he's giving me the eye too Jimmy: where you brought me, girl? Janis: 😂 you mean you aren't used to it, with your mass-appeal? Jimmy: I didn't say I weren't about it Jimmy: 👴💕 Janis: [is lowkey trying to not actually lol at the table] Jimmy: [brings the drinks over & kisses her on the cheek like she did to him earlier] Janis: [wipes it away like a child 'cos you know granddad be looking lmao] Janis: gimme gimme Jimmy was timed out 10 hours ago Jimmy joined the chat 10 hours ago Jimmy: [looks at as if to say 'bit rude' cos she wiped the kiss away but doesn't say anything actually] Jimmy: just don't down this one, like Janis: 👍 alright, dad Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you told me not to let you get as drunk Janis: [footsie] Janis: you cute Jimmy: you Janis: when's your next interview then Jimmy: week away Janis: you'll get that one Jimmy: I gotta Janis: your da losing his shit yeah Janis: [touches his lip] Jimmy: [nods but then shrugs cos can't show how much you give a shit even though she knows how soft you are] Janis: ['prick' in reference to Ian obvs and dranks her drank letting him be quiet for a bit] Jimmy: [clinks his glass against hers cos he agrees & then likewise just having a little drink moment] Janis: and don't lie, you're missing making all those specific as fuck orders for all the basics Jimmy: busted Jimmy: you got me, girl Jimmy: 💔 bout the lack of frappes in my life right now me Janis: knew it Janis: can make me one if you like Janis: bit of roleplaying Jimmy: #truelove Janis: keeping the romance alive 'fore you really have to seek Mia out Janis: more chance of me drinking the shit we all see you, babe Jimmy: it'd be a way to get rid of her when I touch her & she crumbles to dust but Janis: know you're down to take that bullet for us all but no tah Janis: can't have her dying happy Jimmy: she'd only die happy if you took that honor for the team, babe Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [is loling so Indie can walk in like WHAT YOU LAUGHING BOUT] Jimmy: [& he's heart eyes cos she so cute when she's happy so Indie would also notice that like] Jimmy: [also we need to take a moment to appreciate how fucking good Indie would look cos would've come on a proper motorbike now she's old enough & has that same Janis style mood & is happy cos Drew not about & she's more grown etc so it'd be a mood & Jimmy would totally think she was fit] Janis: [after they've chatted for a bit 'cos don't outstay your welcome babe] Jimmy: [okay but imagine Jimmy actually chatting to Indie and Janis is like !!?? cos he's an antisocial sod who don't like nobody] Janis: ooh Janis: social 🦋 Janis: decided the tat for you Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: you know Janis: so chatty Janis: can't take you anywhere 😏 Jimmy: she's your mate Jimmy: not gonna be a dickhead Janis: Suuuure Jimmy: [kicks her playfully cos she did footsie before] Jimmy: shut up Janis: see, don't wanna chat to me Janis: see myself out Janis: [kicks back also playful obvs] Jimmy: see yourself to the bar & get us more drinks Janis: such a charmer how could I refuse? Janis: [gets up] Janis: btw tho, can't ask her out or your breaking girl code, soz Jimmy: [blows her a kiss once she's up cos he's silly] Jimmy: I'm a lad, can do what I like 👌 Janis: [does fake daggers from the bar] Janis: nope Janis: she's basically my sister, not being grace about it Jimmy: It ain't my fault you've got loads of hot sisters Janis: 🖕 Janis: too bad you fucked up Janis: don't get to go for the set Jimmy: she can tell me I can't Jimmy: or that lad she's with could try Jimmy: maybe Janis: not gonna be a dickhead he says Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: to her Jimmy: you love it Janis: 😑 Janis: do I Jimmy: [gets up, walks over to her & kisses her cos yeah you do babe so excuse me granddad] Janis: [dies of 😳] Janis: you wanna be wearing this drink instead, like Jimmy: do you wanna get me out of these clothes Jimmy: 'cause you can just ask Jimmy: keep the 🍺 for drinking Janis: shut up Janis: god Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [back with the drinks] Janis: you're just Jimmy: [is just looking at her with an eyebrow raised like what? cos he ain't gonna reply cos she said shh & he's a nerd] Janis: you're testing me boy Janis: drink your drink Jimmy: [takes a sassy sip] Janis: Iggy said Bobby's welcome back any time, btw Jimmy: he'll be chuffed to bits Janis: think he had a good time, yeah? Jimmy: he ain't shut up about it Janis: awh Janis: takes after you Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I'm doing my best horny mute impression right now for you Janis: had noticed Janis: just savouring the moment Janis: [hehehe lizard] Jimmy: go on Jimmy: [drinks] Janis: [lets it continue for a bit] Janis: k miss you now Jimmy: okay, do something about it Janis: [kisses 'cos happened now hasn't it] Jimmy: so you love me again Jimmy: now what? Janis: you love me again Janis: then maybe 🚬 'cos they're being annoying Jimmy: [kisses her again much to Indie's delight] Janis: [drags him outside which doesn't look suspect at all lol k] Janis: soz Janis: she's a lot Jimmy: Grace is a lot Jimmy: she's Jimmy: 😎 Janis: [😒] Jimmy: what's that face for? Jimmy: I'm saying don't worry about it Jimmy: it's alright Jimmy: she's alright, like Janis: you gonna light up or nah Jimmy: you gonna be nice or nah Jimmy: [but does] Janis: [does shh finger to lips and takes it] Jimmy: make your mind up, girl Jimmy: you wanted me to shut up, then nah, now you do again Jimmy: bit rude Janis: told you was keeping it fresh Janis: [holds 🚬 out] Jimmy: [let them pass it between them for a bit] Janis: maybe we'll go somewhere else Jimmy: she's getting to you that much Jimmy: we can stay out here, you know Janis: nah it's just Janis: it don't matter Jimmy: if it does matter Jimmy: you can say it to me Janis: you'll reckon it's stupid and I already know it is Jimmy: [puts his arms around her cos love while shaking his head] Janis: it's just Janis: people reckoning they know me all the time Janis: gets on my nerves Jimmy: but you said she's basically your sister, yeah Jimmy: don't she know you a bit Jimmy: ? Janis: what's that count for Janis: grace is my actual sister and she don't know me fuck all Jimmy: but Grace is a one off in the opposite way that you're a one off, babe Janis: [shakes her head] Janis: nah Jimmy: none of 'em know you then Jimmy: that's what you're saying Janis: yeah Janis: you think your dad knows you? Jimmy: I don't care Jimmy: I don't want him to know me Janis: exactly Jimmy: you wanna go? Janis: dunno Janis: just give me a sec Jimmy: alright Janis: you go in Jimmy: but Jimmy: you're coming back Janis: I'm not gonna just fuck off Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: [goes in] Janis: [has moment outside Jimmy: [is playing pool with Indie cos she would've asked him when he's standing around like a spare part] Janis: [comes back in like she's unphased now even though obvs not an issue we're resolving today is it lads, makes herself busy and gets drinks and goes loo etc] Jimmy: come take my shot Jimmy: she's beating me Janis: 👌 Janis: [does so lowkey buzzin he's not forgotten about her like oh girl] Jimmy: keep it 🥇 babe Jimmy: it's your fault I'm 🥈 right now Jimmy: distracting me by walking in like that Janis: we can pretend that's what it was, babe Janis: show me up too if not 😉 Jimmy: I'm pretending nowt Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: bit rude of you to look so fucking Janis: now who's being distracting Janis: tryna line up my shot here Janis: ['cos that is hot] Jimmy: falling on the sword ready for when you fuck it up Jimmy: #truelove Jimmy: 💕 Janis: you wish any girl here was making your efforts look better baby 💕 Jimmy: you wish I needed that Jimmy: 🏆💪 me Janis: 👑🍀 me Jimmy: prove it Janis: [duh] Jimmy: [is actually 😍😍😍 now cos looking hot & being impressive] Janis: [does bow 'cos nerd] Jimmy: [gestures that he wants her to take the next one as well cos loving it] Janis: know you gotta at least put my name on the 🏆 now too, right? Jimmy: you know that anyone can have 1 🍀 shot Jimmy: impress me first Janis: babe my 🍀y days were over when I met you, running on pure 💪 now Janis: [makes shot] Jimmy: [gives her a really hot kiss cos that says it all] Janis: you really like winning, yeah? Jimmy: I really like you Janis: feeling's mutual Janis: [kisses back 'cos soz fam deal] Jimmy: [takes & makes his shot easy cos feels great lbr] Janis: [does golf 👏 but actually like go baby] Jimmy: alright nerd Jimmy: calm it down Jimmy: [but is really happy obvs] Janis: make me, dork Jimmy: I don't wanna Jimmy: not when I can get you worked up instead Janis: okay, you aren't THAT good at pool, babe 😂 Jimmy: pool's nearly done with Jimmy: I ain't started with you yet though Janis: Jimmy Janis: [can't meet eyes 'cos distracted af help] Jimmy: Janis Jimmy: [cos we know what saying her name does] Janis: when Janis: where Jimmy: gimme a sec to beat your fake sister at pool Jimmy: but then Jimmy: anywhere Janis: if I really must Jimmy: think about where you're gonna take me Jimmy: have a plan Janis: okay Janis: kinda hard to think now but Jimmy: [finishes up the game but is giving her SO MANY sexy and lingering looks like damn] Jimmy: now Jimmy: where Janis: [outside somehwere idk does not matter as long as relatively secluded lol they've done worse] Janis: here Janis: here is fine Jimmy: here is perfect Janis: ['you'] Jimmy: [says it back how they do & then the most glorious of long kisses] Janis: sorr I was weird earlier Jimmy: you weren't Janis: bit Janis: but you didn't let me ruin it Jimmy: you're always a bit Jimmy: & I ain't ever letting you ruin nowt Jimmy: sorry if I was a massive dickhead Janis: you weren't Janis: seriously Janis: [more smooching] Jimmy: bit but Janis: i love it Jimmy: I love you Janis: that's never gonna not get me Jimmy: good Jimmy: I want it to feel like Jimmy: [hot & heavy make out session] Janis: good Janis: 'cos it feels exactly like Janis: [more] Jimmy: I just really want it to feel like Jimmy: [gets on his knees in the outdoors we all know why but boy HOW EXTRA like you just gonna do this here okay] Janis: fucking hell you're really gonna Janis: fuck Jimmy: [is gonna be that bitch & does] Janis: How does it feel better than the last time even I Jimmy: 'cause I want you even more than last time Jimmy: how do you Janis: this is all you, babe Janis: making me feel so Jimmy: you feel Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: you're just Janis: it's for you Janis: you've looked so good all evening it's so hard to stop myself Jimmy: don't stop Jimmy: I don't ever want you to Jimmy: [likewise doesn't stop what he's doing & is v dedicated rn] Janis: [you know it's getting loud] Janis: had to, remember I told you you couldn't fuck me in that pub Jimmy: 💔 that Jimmy: I've wanted to do this since you showed up by my house Janis: I can really fucking tell Jimmy: [goes harder just because] Janis: please don't stop Janis: ever Jimmy: [doesn't & actually keeps stepping it up cos there's the unspoken promise babe] Janis: [saying his name so much] Janis: don't care if people can hear Jimmy: [being loud his damn self cos hot] Janis: you like eating my pussy out, don't you? Janis: best boyfriend ever Jimmy: [says his yeahs & how much he does out loud cos honestly highkey about all of it] Janis: I wanna cum for you again Janis: lost track of how many times I've came for you today Jimmy: [does all his best moves to make her] Janis: baby? Jimmy: ? Janis: can I have a picture of you from this angle too? Janis: you look Jimmy: you don't need to ask Jimmy: take as many as you want Janis: [does 'cos damn] Jimmy: can you cum for me at least once more when I fuck you up against this wall until I cum inside you or are you gonna have to try & fake it? Janis: [the noise she makes] Janis: you know nothing about us is fake Janis: I want that so bad Janis: do it Jimmy: I want you so bad Jimmy: [does because doesn't even need to be told at this point] Janis: [puts hands flat on wall so her backs to him and her face is pressed against the bricks] Janis: hold my hands there so I can't stop Jimmy: [the noise he makes but obviously will] Janis: I really fucking love you Jimmy: I know Jimmy: & I Janis: I know Jimmy: [is just saying her name so much now oh how the tables have been flipped] Janis: I'm all yours, Jimmy, yours, fuck me right here Jimmy: [go off kids live your best life] Jimmy: keep being mine, okay Janis: I will, I am Janis: I mean it Janis: only you Jimmy: [is dying because who has ever been here for him this hard NOBODY BITCH] Janis: Oh God oh God, baby Jimmy: shit Jimmy: plan b was the best plan Janis: no chance of doing this in town Janis: or getting me to be so loud for you Jimmy: that's why I'd go anywhere with you Jimmy: this is Jimmy: you're Janis: I don't care where we are or what we're doing as long as you're there Janis: though obviously this is my favourite thing to do Jimmy: I'm gonna be there Jimmy: I have to Jimmy: I can't leave you Jimmy: won't fucking do it Janis: [turns her head to kiss him 'cos dead] Janis: I need you Jimmy: [kissing her back hardcore cos feelings bitch & also it just feels really epic so] Jimmy: I need you too Jimmy: I really fucking need you Janis: you've got me Janis: fill me up with your cum and see exactly how you've got me Jimmy: [amazing responses and sounds there 'cause damn, sorry anyone if you can hear any of this right now] Janis: You sound so hot, everyone must be so fucking jealous right now Jimmy: you do Jimmy: & they are Janis: I Janis: I can't get enough of you, ever Jimmy: baby I Jimmy: you're gonna make me Janis: [pushes back harder against his thrusts] Janis: I want it, baby Janis: I want your cum inside my pussy so bad Jimmy: say it Janis: [does, no pretending you didn't hear that passersby] Jimmy: [well that's the end of him 'cause how fucking goals do you wanna be good day] Janis: [turns 'round fully to give him a proper kiss] Jimmy: [hold him up girl he needs a moment after all that] Janis: [as soft as you can be standing against a wall in public] Jimmy: [stop 🚬 so much boy] Janis: [finds somewhere comfortable to sit him down and sit on his lap 'cos standard, arms around his neck and all the little kisses] Janis: you're the best Jimmy: you though Jimmy: I mean it Janis: I know Janis: I do too Jimmy: [snuggles & gentle kisses & hair loving upon for a bit cos soft mood] Janis: are you even real Janis: how do I get to Janis: with you Jimmy: well I ain't fake Jimmy: but I don't know Jimmy: we just Janis: just Janis: yeah Janis: [smiles] Jimmy: [takes a 📷 of her 'cause he can't even with how she looks right now or ever] Jimmy: look how beautiful you are Jimmy: bit rude to be honest Janis: you're just a very good photographer Janis: I think Jimmy: it's only 'cause I got a decent muse & subject Jimmy: look again Janis: [😳] Jimmy: [tells her how beautiful she is again, out loud this time with kisses in between each word like] Janis: you're making me weak for you again already Janis: give yourself the break, babe Jimmy: I don't want a break from you Jimmy: not again Janis: ['I promise'] Jimmy: [more soft kisses damn this boy gonna cry if he don't calm down] Janis: You're all for me, right? Jimmy: [nods & is 😍] Janis: Mine Janis: My baby Janis: [posessive smooching] Jimmy: I don't want anyone else Jimmy: you know Janis: you better not Janis: no one else can do what I can Jimmy: whatever any other girl is or has Jimmy: you are & do Jimmy: but more Jimmy: I knew that before I knew you Jimmy: it's why I noticed you Janis: [hiding in his chest 'cos overwhelmed] Jimmy: I wanted to see if it was real Jimmy: & it is Janis: [whispers 'I love you'] Jimmy: nobody sees this bit of you, do they Janis: [shakes her head] Jimmy: it keeps me together though Jimmy: which is weird 'cause it's the bit that's gentle & whispers & 😳 but Jimmy: I don't know, it's the strongest bit maybe Jimmy: I forgot I had it Janis: me too Janis: if you'd have asked me, I'd have thought I'd have hated you for it Janis: making me remember Janis: but I don't, I just love you so much Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I didn't want it Jimmy: sometimes I still don't want it in there Janis: yeah Janis: it's Janis: hard Janis: especially with other people around Jimmy: it just really fucking hurts being Jimmy: sometimes Jimmy: knowing things & not knowing things Janis: yeah Janis: having no way of asking Jimmy: can we even still get what we want if there's no Jimmy: it feels like only pieces of things Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: but then you're here & everything Jimmy: so I don't know Jimmy: was I just looking in the wrong fucking place or Janis: I don't know either Janis: but this Janis: us Janis: feels better than nothing Janis: that I do know Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: me too Janis: so can it be enough Janis: for now Jimmy: tell me we can get away from here Jimmy: all this shit Jimmy: & that's enough for ever Janis: we will Janis: we have to Jimmy: this right now Jimmy: that's more of an escape than I reckoned I'd get Jimmy: til 18 anyway Janis: I never did it properly Janis: leaving Janis: but now Janis: I do with you Janis: you're escape Jimmy: whatever else happens, I'll always give you that, alright Janis: alright Jimmy: there's so much I don't know how to say Jimmy: or if I should Jimmy: about before Janis: same so Janis: only if and when we want to Janis: not 'cos we have to or 'cos someone else says it or Janis: our rules Jimmy: [agrees out loud] Jimmy: Ian's a fucking bellend but he has a point about trying to move the fuck on, I suppose Jimmy: I don't want that shit to define me, I never asked for that Jimmy: for them to do it to me & make it all anyone knows about me Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: I'm just Jimmy: It's like you said earlier about people reckoning they know you Jimmy: thinking about that Janis: That's like Janis: exactly what I meant Janis: you know ME better for not knowing that shit Janis: it just ruins everything Jimmy: I'm happy I know you Jimmy: give a shit about that bollocks Jimmy: getting in the way Janis: then that's all that matters Janis: yeah? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: it don't even matter that we're too sober for chatting like this Janis: I wont tell if you don't Jimmy: who would I? the 🐶 Janis: maybe Janis: she will bite your face off if you try and brag about what we just did though Jimmy: maybe she'd like me if I told her your secrets though the gossipy bitch Janis: 😱 turn her against me Jimmy: can I brag to Pete about my part of what we just did though? Jimmy: I really miss my man Janis: awh 💔 Janis: 'course Jimmy: I'll leave your name out Jimmy: Juliet who Janis: you would you sneaky bitch Janis: want all the glory Jimmy: 🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇 Janis: race you to CG to 💪 Jimmy: he don't live there, babe Jimmy: only the baby I abandoned in the back Jimmy: check his feed find out where he really is Janis: yes he does Janis: like teachers Jimmy: don't remind me of school Jimmy: i'm just gonna fuck you all day, alright Janis: please Janis: or I'll have to leave at lunch time Janis: not doing double maths Jimmy: soz if you get sore but less painful than the headache of sitting there learning that shit Janis: 🤤 I don't mind Janis: do what you gotta do Jimmy: don't say that & look at me like that Jimmy: fuck Janis: you know I mean it Jimmy: stop Jimmy: I'll 💀💀💀 Janis: don't worry Janis: save it for Monday Janis: day of rest tomorrow 😴 Jimmy: at mine or yours? Janis: where do you wanna be Janis: I mean, lesser of two evils, doesn't really matter to me so Jimmy: do you need 🐶💕 more or less than you need Ian knocking about? Janis: less than I want him knocking you about, obvs Janis: I should probably keep my distance for a bit Jimmy: we'll stay at yours then Janis: if you wanna be back a decent time I can wake you Janis: should go for a run anyways Jimmy: I don't wanna Jimmy: but Janis: surely he has sundays off anyway, right Jimmy: the only time basically Janis: not like you need bonding time Janis: so maybe Janis: stay Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: you gonna make me go for a run with you if I do Janis: you think you can keep up? Janis: cute 😉 Jimmy: girl come on 💪🏆 Janis: okay then Janis: I am gonna make you Jimmy: challenge accepted, babe Janis: definitely an early night for you then, boy Jimmy: you better mean sleeping Jimmy: trying to tire me out before the run Jimmy: bit sneaky Janis: 😇 Janis: sleep on the sofa if you're that concerned Jimmy: no Janis: didn't think so Jimmy: mentally trying to psyche me out too, I get it Jimmy: but I'll sleep better with you Jimmy: so if you're gonna train me you gotta let me Janis: [so cute dies] Janis: okay Janis: see the logic Jimmy: 👍 Janis: do you wanna keep going though or go home or what forreal Jimmy: do you? Janis: you can't 'do you' when I gave you options Jimmy: why Jimmy: you know what I'm on about Janis: 'cos I wanna know what you wanna do Janis: why I asked you first Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: what time are you waking me up? Janis: not that early Janis: 6 Janis: maybe 7 Jimmy: let's go back in for a bit then Janis: 👍

[bigskydreaming]

Honestly, one of my favorite little things about the X-Men compared to other superheroes is when they’re super casual about using their powers for the most mundane things. A lot of other superheroes are usually written as like...idk, like the writers feel like they should be ‘above’ using their powers that way, or that they’re wasted like that, or that they’re meant for greater purposes or whatever. (Speedsters are always an exception, no matter the universe lol).

But one of the great little world-building elements of the X-Men and mutants in general is like.....they don’t have these powers because they’re supposed to save the world with them, they have them because....they just do. They were born that way. They’re a part of them. And they should and do use them for the most every day things, because why wouldn’t they? So yeah, I just really love when Marvel mutants are shown just absent-mindedly using their powers as part of their casual routine, without even thinking about it.

Like, gimme Jean walking down the hall, a whole train of levitating objects bobbing along in the air behind her, because why the fuck would you take multiple trips when you have telekinesis? Or Bobby being the most popular guy to be around on hot days as he exudes cold air naturally. Kitty not paying any attention to where she’s going, nose in a book, as she just ghosts straight through crowds of students swarming through the hallways, because lol screw trying to wade through a bunch of ppl when you can be intangible instead. Firestar microwaving popcorn with her bare hands, and Dazzler walking by surrounded by a haze of sparkling lights, because Alison Blaire accessorizes with conjured and evershifting light shows the way other people accessorize with purses and jewelry.

Kurt pausing in mid conversation and then just bamfing away in a cloud of smoke and zero explanation, only to reappear thirty seconds later with a sheepish expression like “Sorry, I couldn’t remember if I locked the door or not. It was going to bug me.” And everyone just nods and resumes their conversation without missing a beat, because he does that sort of thing all the time, it’s totally normal.

Rogue walking across the quad with a couch balanced on one shoulder because there’s a complicated barter system that was established long ago and sounds extremely complicated on the surface, but makes total sense to every X-Man who’s been around for longer than a few years - you need to move some furniture? Well just ask Rogue, but come bearing those crepes she likes from Paris, you just have to get Illyana to teleport them in for you fresh, which she’s happy to do if you can convince Rachel to cover her morning class so she doesn’t have to get up before noon like some kind of barbarian. Your best bet of bribing Rachel is bringing her a new classic TV show or movie she hasn’t seen before to watch, because she grew up in a dystopian future that didn’t have that stuff and her favorite hobby on those rare occasions she’s not dead or displaced in time or space is vegging out in front of the TV with some vintage film nobody’s ever heard of except Forge, who’s your go to guy for those. Cable usually joins Rachel because he loves that stuff the same as her for much the same reasons, but if you need to bribe Cable, just go straight for bringing him some giant alien space gun. Also, don’t bribe Cable. His idea of gratitude is dialing whatever favor you asked him for up to 1000 and accidentally starting an intergalactic war in the process, because Cable and ‘moderation’ are two concepts that will never be found in the same zip code.

Anyway, that’s one of those little things I’ve always loved about the X-Men that a lot of other superhero franchises lack....their powers aren’t just about fighting bad guys, because they themselves aren’t about just being heroes. They’re a big family slash school of giant freaking weirdos who celebrate their weirdness in every thing they do, as they were meant to.

[jadeimpala67]

Speaking of tattoos

Who wants to see mine?! :D too bad, I love showing them off.

I'mma post them in order if oldest to newest:

My first:

I spent a literal decade (half my life) thinking of tattoo ideas, designs that mean the most to me, how they're done, how it all works... Doing every ounce of research about them as I possibly could (I'm terrified of needles, so while I really wanted a tattoo, I was really nervous). In the end, I went with this:

A memorial for my great grandmother. It's blurry as shit cuz I took it in a hurry in the bathroom at work, but it says "1918-2009" in the banner, and "you are my sunshine" below it. She always sang that to us. Got it in that spot for a reason too. On my shoulder as if it were an angels wing (before I started watching spn), and on my right shoulder because that's my dominant side. So it's like she's the angel on my shoulder and watching my movements... I put a LOT of thought into it and I'm so happy with it :) I got it March of 2016.

My second one:

This one is on my left wrist. This one also has a huge meaning that's very personal to me... Not sure how many of you are familiar with "The Butterfly Project", but that was something counselors in one of my school's taught me which pulled me out of a dark hole.

After a messy break up, a sloppy move, and a less-than-pleasant (to put it nicely with sparkles on it) roommate... I fell back into that hole. Ended up making the decision to move back home. I had seen a similar pattern in a tattoo shop in Virginia and absolutely fell in love... I was fortunate enough to have found it online so I could bring it in to my new artist. He tweaked it a lot (let's just say this was not the design I had in mind... Or had drawn to show my artist), and while I feel like it was royally warped, I still think the outcome is beautiful. Got very late July of 2016

My third:

This is my first band-centric tattoo. Not sure how many of you are familiar with Nothing More, but they're one of my top 5 favorite bands ever (and given how much I love and cherish music, that's saying a LOT). I had seen them at a festival during the summer of 2016, and lemme tell you.... The shows they put on was astounding!

So I planned a tattoo that was a combination of two songs I really loved: Christ Copyright and This Is The Time. Christ Copyright is where the line "We Are Not Machines" comes from. They chant it in the song, and even though I've heard it a literal dozen thousand times, it still gives me goosebumps.

The randsom note design comes from This Is The Time's line "holding each other like randsom notes/ dropping our hearts to grip our brothers throats". I could so go in-depth on the beauty that is that song... But I won't. This post is about tattoos lol. I got this one 3 days before I took a train to Manhattan NYC to see them play and meet them! Fun fact: that trip was 100% solo and it was a blast! I wanna go back so bad. They're the literal sweetiest people ever and after the show I got to meet, talk, and hang out with all of the bands... Best day of my life 💕 (pardon the boobs)

To this day, that tattoo gets the most praise. I've been thinking about adding color, but idk yet.

My fourth and fifth:

Castiel's was done first, followed by Dean's. I had gotten in the habit of drawing these patterns on my hand at work for months... I finally said "fuck it, this is where these belong and this is where they'll stay." I have a whole theme planned (and am actually going to make an appointment today to get Sam's and touch these two up) Sam's is going to be the Men Of Letters symbol, then I'm going to get a black/red crown for Crowley, and a Flask for Bobby. On the back of my hand I'm going to have "Team Free Will", and will be adding various characters along my fingers and around TFW. I got these two about a month before GISHWHES started, because I wanted to be able to have them showing in pictures. I don't think they showed up though, sadly :/

And last but not least, my 6th.

My GISHWHES tattoo.

Misha you little shit.

I had to call literally 4 different tattoo shops before I found one that could do it at SUCH SHORT NOTICE. Probably the most stressful tat I've ever gotten lmfao. I literally toyed with font for like 20mins on my laptop, and decided to translate the saying into italian. My family is from Italy, and I think the phrase sounds beautiful in that dialect.

Fun fact: this tattoo has also gotten THE MOST abuse out of all 6 of mine. For some reason people felt compelled to slap me there constantly until it healed... And a friend of mine introduced me to the concept of "setting" (DO NOT EVER LET YOUR "FRIENDS" SET YOUR FRESH ASS TATTOO. I WAS DRUNK ON WHISKEY AT THE TIME SO THE PAIN DIDNT LAST VERY LONG, BUT WHILE IT DID HURT I WAS IN LITERAL TEARS. ITS A TRAP DONT DO IT)...

I blame Misha. Since it was a Misha-centric tat, his curse of abuse he gets on set had carried over to my arm lmfao. I don't regret it though. So many people ask me about it at work, so I get to speak italian every day :) I'm gonna get color spashes around it and the Porcupanda somewhere around it as well (artist didn't have time before they had to close up shop, so we went with it).

So there!

There's all my tats and now you know a little more about me lmao

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

//what the fuuuuuuuuck??

i feel like i just walked into a different game

-

‘a foreigner’

well 

like

maya is the direct descendant of freakin Mystic Ami 

man i really hate Kooraheen

-

“I wonder if Maya has matured any since the last time I saw her?”

oh they tried, phoenix

they tried

but that shit doesnt fly 

...apparently growing an inch well after you've naturally stopped growing does, though. oh well whatever

MAYAAAAA

-

“its on top of a mountain and its freezing”

“i think i can handle it”

bullshit phoenix youu fucking liar exercise and cold are your least favourite things

-

ahlbi: dont go in there that river is full of souls

phoenix: lol but what if i did

jesus phoenix 

-

all this stuff about prayer has got to be taking the piss

i cant tell if this game is against religion or just... i have no idea

-

“it’s been many a day”

yeah like i dunno just a DECADE 

many a day??????? what the fuck is this

-

“you have to train in Kooraheen because this is where the technique originated”

oh yes, totally not in Kurain, the place Mystic Ami, the founder of the Kurain Channeling Technique, founded. No way. 

-

“all i learnt was to look like a nun”

yeah because youre iN THE WRONG PLACE MAYA

-

“seat-of-you-pants, come-from-behind wins”

UM

-

“ok so it wasnt my finest hour. sue me.”

id marry this man 

-

“yep! completed the full two years!”

wow so i guess the Incredible, Amazing-Special and Highly Spiritual Kooraheeneese training regimen is the equivalent of an associate degree. 

-

“the high priest practically begged me to do it!”

mayas going to jail and he's the killer isn't he. 

-

i love that theyre like “lady keera isn't like the deities we think of from back home; she was a really real person!!”

and its like 

ah

awkward for jesus.

-

I WANT PICTURES OF LADY KEERA! (slams table)

-

“sightings of her go back 2 years!”

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 

-

“you think some regular cosplayer could take on a bunch of guys in costume alone????”

well i mean essentially every super hero is just that so

“thats why she's real!!”

ok, wearing a cloak and kicking a rebel in the balls now makes you a god. you heard it here first guys

-

something about all of this just makes me rly uncomfortable and i cant put my finger on it

-

“can we leave my hair out of this?”

once again phoenix worries more about his hair than... well, being called edgeless i guess 

-

maya’s wearing a robe and she punched a lawyer in the face... i’d say that gets her canonized at least.

-

♫ he's got spurs, that jingle jangle jingle (jingle jangle) ♫

-

“Look! Its Acolyte Zeh’lot!”

me, wincing from the pain of the pun but also yelling: ITS FUCKIN AANG HLY SHIT

-

phoenix wright’s new fun personality gimmicks include: destroying foreign monarchies and having Unexplained Broken Spine Syndrome 

I’d like to think capcom beat him with a gold club while reminding him that most of the oldest living attractive-enough-to-be-a-protagonist people in Ace Attorney are like 40

-

i dont know why but the image of a few brightly coloured monks hauling phoenix’s unconscious ass down a mountain is making me wheeze like nobodys business 

-

ahlbi: miss mayas been arrested!

phoenix: (completely unshocked) what

-

(brutal murder has just occurred)

praying man: do you think we should get up??

praying man #2: nah were just part of the background.

-

ema failed the forensics exam because she continually took fingerprints without consent. confirmed

-

phoenix: i never thought id have to do another trial where the defence was unwelcome

you'd have to quit to achieve that kind of peace, phoenix 

-

“he's calm and kind and almost always has a smile on his face”

correction; he’s haughty, condescending and almost always has a holier-than-thou smirk on his face.

-

theres so much cursing and exploding into flames in Kooraheen.

-

‘iii guess thiiiiis is what its like to live in a deeeeeeply religious society, huuuuuh’

oi

i dont know how to feel about this

-

poor baby faces his least fav things; cold and high

-

oh crap not figure skater princess

oh dear god. this is ominous as fuck. phoenix is just like “that looks like...” and then its just. one huge EXAMINE button followed by her being the only choice.

I'm feeling deeply uncomfortable 

-

“we know the killer is one of your own!”

HER ANCESTOR INVENTED–– AGGHHHNNN never mind

“in my country suspects are innocent until proven guilty”

we’ve all said it once and i’ll say it again

bullshit, capcom

-

“phony baloney” 

-

“tweedledum and tweedledee did a number on her impression of foreigners”

what the fuck does that mean

who the fuck is he referring to

this is the tuna boat all over again

-

“who taught you to demonize a whole group of people anyway”

just sounds really stupid when the “people” in question are lawyers.

-

...is this the kooraheen version of (positive adjective) people

its marginally better than the regular SOJ (positive adjective) people  

-

oh lady Kee’ra is katniss everdeen. she's even got the mockingjay and everything!

-

this reminds me a lot of Bridge

even figure skater princess is a bit like assistant!Franziska. but less amusing.

she’s rather helpful though, to a disgusting scum sucking lawyer like me.

-

idk Kurain village felt a lot more atmospheric than Kooraheen does. I’m not quite sure why... Might’ve been the music (which was awesomely spine-tingling)

but also something about just... the general feel? Like the strict rules of Kurain village felt more claustrophobic and stifling than the almost cartoonish seeming Super Prayer Aesthetic of Kooraheen. (who knows; maybe there are countries that spend 15 hours straight in prayer but idk them) 

maybe Kurain village felt more realistic in that a single town housing nothing but mediums seems within the boundaries of reality, but an entire country completely based upon it does not. 

Kurain felt like a small part of a bigger picture, whereas i feel like Kooraheen is a big picture with nothing much in it.

-

when is a medium-based case not a locked-room mystery???

-

cleared away snow... a broken lantern... gosh!!! THAT... REMIND ME OF SOMETHING

also phoenix taking more pictures is [100 emoji]

-

“almost... boggles the mind...”

he didnt seem scared but his vision did blur

maybe he got 

high

haha h ah hah hah ha

-

a full body poncho is a great fighting outfit

-

i wonder if spider-kee’ra is a fella in disguise 

-

“I wonder if he has amnesia”

either youre sherlock fucking holmes or that was rly forced. he said like 2 words to you.

-

characters who look like theyre gonna shoot u thus far: 

-Precious bobby

-dirty hobo eating lizards

-

mind reading lizard eating hobo

-

hes a power ranger!!!

-

you ask this man, phoenix wright, to move on???

you fool

-

“all my tools were confiscated at the airport”

oh except this HUGE SPRAY BOTTLE OF LIQUID

-

ema: (backhandedly mentions klavier)

me: (clenching fist with a tear in my eye) someday 

-

“Who’d have thought you’d get caught up in something like this? And so far from home?”

phoenix pls

-

“Besides, I thought you’d be used to being the usual suspect by now!”

[wheezes] that was like 3 lines before this unholy contradiction 

-

(cries) the bars are so wide he can hold his pwecious bffs hand thru them

like. if he wanted to.

also the music is surprisingly nice and atmospheric. very subtle and gentle and not an atonal mess like the investigation theme.

-

oh fuck i forgot you were here rayfa

-

maya just called herself a foreigner. fuck you capcom.

-

“ive never eaten anything better in my life”

MAYA HOW COULD YOU FORSAKE BURGERS

NOOOOO

-

fucking fuck rayfa 

she's 

the master

of the kurain

technique 

-

oh i see. she's been keeping her talent a ‘secret’

cant FUCKING WAIT to find out what the bullshit excuse plot twist is!!!

-

“I found this”

and why do you,,,,, still have it maya,,,, while ur in jail

kurain guards suck ass 

-

why did she... bring up the ladder argument 

it came right the heck out of nowhere after she says she's gonna ‘keep it real’ from now on. is she saying that was stupid and frivolous?? damnit fuckin fuck SOJ dont mock the most precious running gag in the series thats poor fuccking taste

-

priest is a rebel isn't he

-

“We’re not in Kansas anymore...” 

could’ve fooled me, y’all

-

“All Abord the Phoenix Freedom Express”

that omnibus sure came a long way...

-

rayfa doesn't speak japanifornian very well, only khumerican.

-

yikes, another ‘examine person’ scenario.

-

“are you she”

..........................phoenix

-

everyone’s so shocked that a woman is communicating with the dead in a country wHICH REVOLVES AROUND COMMUNICATING WITH THE DEADKJ HKFH; GHHL /

-

Wait, Datz isn’t kooraheenese?

-

three hole??????? three hole????? duhhh.... three hole.......... i dont know huhuhuhuuh

-

“theres an unusual custom”

not depicting a religious figures is an unusual custom????? they have got to be taking the piss

-

“I think its stunning!!” so stunning that i will steal the poster hahahaha

-

HSHFGSJK AAAHHH THE PLUMED PUNISHER

KILL IT 

KILL IT WITH FIRE

(weeps in relief)

thank you for.... dousing the pain with the original.... my soul is cleansed.

-

so what if she called herself lovely

she is lovely

let a gal have some confidence in herself, phoenix. 

-

eyyyyy psyche locks and their badass 2013 theme. I'm down for this 

-

a three pronged arrow is such a stupid fucking idea. they do know that the shape of an arrow is designed to go in easily and be difficult to pull out, right?? 

-

 Rayfa knows words like “Meritorious” in English, but not the implicit meaning of Freedom Express. 

-

youve gOT BALLS FOR A LAWYER

THIS GAME CAN GET AWAY WITH “YOUVE GOT BALLS” BUT APOLLO CANT SAY ‘FUCK’????

-

Inga’s like Redd White but less funny. amusing in that he calls phoenix ‘white’. 

also what kind of cigar is he smoking that has wax on the end??? that cant be healthy

[shg11]

Hmm…so here we are. The famed penultimate episode of this season. For those of you who haven’t been paying attention, the second-to-last episode of every season is always the episode where shit goes down. Past seasons have given us The Rains of Castamere (aka The Red Wedding), The Battle of The Bastards, and The Watchers On The Wall. This season we got…Ocean’s 11: White Walkers?

Full disclosure: I did not like this episode, so let’s get into the roasting, shall we?

Beyond The Wall

The episode begins and I’d almost already forgotten that the plot of tonight’s episode is going to be, “try to kidnap a zombie and bring it back to Westeros.” Fuck. That is such a terrible idea.

This is a show in which a pair of twins have children together, and I think this might be the worst idea I’ve ever heard.

Everyone is trying to make Gendry be chill about the fact that his comrades sold him to Melisandre and she put leeches on his penis. Don’t give in, Gendry. You are hot have a right to your feelings.

Real question: Has anyone ever travelled further or endured more to be in the friend zone than Jorah Mormont? Dude was sold into slavery, got his skin scraped off, and now he’s beyond the world on Operation Zombie Kidnap, all so Dany might give him a hug later. So sad.

Mormont and Jon Snow get into an honor-off over which one of them gets to keep the fancy sword. The whole thing is very phallic.

Jon: I’m so honorable, I’m giving you the sword. Jorah: I’m so honorable, I’m giving you the sword back. Me:

Winterfell

It’s Sansa Vs. Arya: Who Will Bitch Slap Who?

Arya: Remember our dad? He used to stand here. Sansa: Uh…yeah I was there.

Arya is all pissed off about a letter none of us remember from like 15 seasons ago.

Sansa: You’re being really petty right now. Me: True. Arya: You used to be really fucking stupid. Me: Also true.

Arya tries to hit Sansa with an “I was training to be a faceless man,” while Sansa responds with an “I low-key saved this entire family.”

Ugh. Littlefinger is such a tricky bitch for pitting the girls against each other this way. Don’t they realize they should be using their Lady Stark powers to save the North??

Beyond The Wall

We cut back to the wall and everyone is literally just still walking. The Hound teaches Big Red (or whatever tf this character’s name is) the word “dick,” and Big Red won’t shut tf up about Brienne, who isn’t interested.

This scene serves literally no purpose, and was a waste of all of our times.

Dragonstone

We open on Dany giving Tyrion a backhanded compliment.

The conversation quickly shifts to Jon Snow, and Dany and Tyrion start acting like a couple of middle school girls who are trying to figure out if they both have a crush on the same guy.

Tyrion: He likes you! Dany: No he doesn’t! Tyrion: You like him! Dany: He’s too short! Tyrion: omg!

Tyrion tries to casually bring up the fact that Dany has a bad temper, Dany counters that by getting insanely pissed and storming out of the castle.

Tyrion: Hey since you’re like barren or whatever maybe we should figure out who inherits the throne when you die? Dany: RUDE

Beyond The Wall

Ugh. The five most boring characters and Jon Snow are still walking. Walking walking walking — OH FUCK IS THAT A POLAR BEAR?

YOOOOO IS THAT A ZOMBIE POLAR BEAR?

Welp, our fateful band of semi-virgins set out to find a zombie, and now they fucking found one. Good for you, Jon Snow. You’ve fought the wildlings, the Boltons, a wight, a White Walker, and now a zombie bear. Good for fucking you.

The zombie bears are going ham killing everyone except the characters we actually care about. One of them chomps on Thoros for a good 30 seconds and yet he somehow survives.

Beric uses his flaming sword, which just turns the murderous zombie bears into murderous zombie bears that are on fire. Good job, Beric.

For real though, shouldn’t the fire stop the zombie bears? Do the zombie bears follow different rules than zombie people in the universe? What the fuck is happening?

Winterfell

Littlefinger tries to drag Brienne into his Arya-on-Sansa fantasy, and guess what, it works.

Brienne: Cersei wants you to come to Kings Landing. Sansa: Lol nah you can go instead.

Sansa uses this opportunity to rummage through Arya’s shit looking for….weapons? Money? IDK.

BET YA DIDN’T EXPECT TO FIND A BAG FULL OF FACES, YA BISH.

Okay, but seriously, Arya just like…keeps the faces in her bag? That’s how the faces work? You just like, toss them in your bag along with a couple tampons and a bobby pin and shit?

Arya At Brunch: Ugh sorry about my bag, I just have like, my whole makeup bag, my lunch, a hair straightener, and like 15 faces in here. Can’t leave the house without them!

Of course Arya walks in right as Sansa finds the bag full of faces. Doesn’t Sansa get that she’s like, a ninja or some shit now?

Arya: Why don’t I give another long speech about feminism? Sansa: Umm no bitch you can’t change the subject I need to know wtf is up with these faces.

Arya: Arya: Me: So did y’all two just make up or…?

Beyond The Wall

Operation Zombie Kidnap is in full effect. Luckily for all the main characters, none of them died in the dead-flaming-polar-bear attack and now they’re all 100% fit to take on the band of White Walkers they’ve just stumbled upon.

Jon: Me: This feels like important information.

Things are actually going pretty well for a group of five humans who travelled thousands of miles to try and kill a mythical undead corpse-person, but then they finally get to the “kidnap a zombie” part of their plan and shit starts to fall apart.

We now move into Plan B of Operation Zombie Kidnap, which apparently is just “Gendry runs as fast as he can back to the wall.”

These guys really didn’t think this through, did they?

Even still, they’re all doing a pretty good job considering there appear to be over a thousand wights and White Walkers and just like, five or six of them.

They’re able to fight their way onto a very conveniently located rock and now the plan is to just…wait? Luckily in all the hubbub they were able to still keep an eye on the wight they tied up. I guess these guys are still really committed to bringing one of these things back home with them.

CUT TO: Gendry Forrest-Gumping it across the North. Remember when it took like, multiple seasons to get to get places? Well now Gendry can just run the entire distance of the North during the commercial breaks, and ravens send as fast as texts.

(I know doesn’t have commercial breaks don't @ me.)

Gendry collapses just before the end of his marathon. The fact that “Gendry running as fast as he can back to The Wall” is the only part of this plan that worked out is so, so baffling to me.

Back at the conveniently located rock, Jon and co are not doing so hot. Thoros died, which makes sense because he was attacked by a zombie polar bear that was on fire.

Beric does his flaming sword trick for the 15th time and honestly, I’m no longer impressed. Get a new trick, dude.

In the distance we see The Night King, aka Demon Elsa, and somebody (I can’t remember who, this episode was really stupid) has the brilliant realization that if you kill him, you probably kill all The White Walkers at once.

Jon: Challenge accepted.

Dragonstone & Beyond The Wall

Cut to Dany serving us full “Winter Is Here," ready to fuck some shit up. She’s going to get on her dragon and fly north to set shit on fire, aka the very obvious thing that she should have done from the beginning.

Dany: I’m flying North. Me: When tf did you have time to get a winter coat made?

Back beyond the wall, The Hound just fucked everyone over by throwing snowballs at the wights. Men are so fucking stupid.

We’re now in for one of ’ famously boring riveting fight scenes.

Jon: Fall back!!! Fall back! Everyone: Lol where?

The entire crew is surrounded. They all grab hands and accept death like at the end of , then…

DRAGOOONNSSSS

Dany shows up on her dragons and does what we all have wanted her to do from day one: starts burning zombies.

Dany: Get on the dragon loser, we’re going back to Westeros. Jon: Just lemme kill a few more zombies real quick.

Everybody is so busy paying attention to wtf Jon is up to, that nobody realizes Undead Elsa is about to kill one of the fucking dragons with his ice spear.

Word to the wise: if the fucking Ice King is anywhere near your shit, have one person in your crew assigned to watching the Ice King at all times. Ya gotta keep an eye on the Ice King.

Live footage of the Ice King approaching to kill everyone:

Dany is now force to haul ass out of the North with one less dragon, while Jon Snow gets pulled into yet another fake-out death.

Jon Snow: Me: Lol yea right dude you can’t die. Uncle Benjen is probably going to show up to save you or some dumb shit like that.

Uncle Benjen: Me: Of. Fucking. Course.

The Wall

Dany is sad because her new boyfriend who she doesn’t realize is actually probably her nephew is either dead or a zombie right now, and her dragon baby is also dead.

Luckily for her, it’s apparently very easy to just ride away from an entire army of White Walkers, and Jon is actually like, fine.

Me, every second of this episode so far:

CUT TO: Jon awaking with Dany standing over his bedside.

Dany sees Jon’s stab wounds for the first time and is like, “I KNEW I smelled a red flag.”

Even still, Jon looks so good whenever he wakes up from a near death experience. We, the audience, know this, but Danearys Targaryen has yet to experience it.

Dany: I can’t have kids. Jon: Okay… Dany: But we can like, do other stuff…

We find out that Jon is down to bend the knee to Danearys, but more importantly it’s pretty clear that Danearys is down to bend da knees to Jon, if ya know what I mean (blow jobs).

Beyond The Wall

Lest you forget, the idiots who decided that kidnapping an undead demon was a good idea, also let one of their dragons be killed, and left that dragon’s body in the hands of the White Walkers.

If you didn’t see this coming, you literally have not been paying attention.

That’s right: We’ve got a White Walker dragon now. What does that mean, exactly? IDK, but it can’t be fucking good.

Read more: http://www.betches.com/game-of-thrones-season-7-episode-6-recap