#but also have some things personally to look forward to

[knightyoomyoui]

Lose Our Control - PART 1 [+18] (COMMISSIONED)

ft. TWICE (x Male Reader) ft. Aespa and IU

TYPE: Fluff, Smut

WORD COUNT: 5744

NOTE: This is my first fic to feature LOTS of idols in just a single one-shot, that’s why I had to divide this story into two so that it won’t look too long and confusing to read and for the sake of every character’s involvement in the plot. Also, don't expect IU too much in here yet, She'll only be teased for now, and her huge part will be on Part 2. ORDERED BY: @vl-47

DONATE OR REQUEST FOR COMMISSION HERE: https://ko-fi.com/knightyoomyoui TAGS: harem, lots of sex and kinks, alcohol, cheating

DESCRIPTION: You are a songwriter who was offered to construct a song for TWICE's upcoming album, leading to a surreal romantic relationship with all of the members. They proposed engaging in sexual activities to prevent unbalanced attention and affection, but this also led to manifestation of a problem when you encounter another group of idols seeking for their lust to be satisfied while your partners are away for work.

===OOO===

START

You've had big ambitions about the career that will propel you forward ever since you realized how talented you are as a songwriter. Popularity rise, hit songs that shatter mainstream records, and surprising partnerships with other musicians.

It all happened fortunately, thanks for everything that you did to make your name well-known in the industry as a hitmaker, but it would be selfish to do so if you would just discard the truth that other people also helped you to achieve that.

Although you adore your admirers who value your ability to write lyrics that speak to everyone in a variety of life circumstances, you feel that one particular group deserves special recognition.

While their primary contribution to your song is simply to sing what you've written, they went above and beyond for your career. People became so interested in and eagerly awaited your songs because of their personalities and their current position in the industry as well-known K-Pop idols.

You were referring to TWICE, a nine-member girl group signed to JYP Entertainment. It went on from there since you accepted an invitation to participate in one of their tracks. Although it's a typical situation for most people, the success, the delight, and, outside of your job, your partnership with them allowed you to to experience what it's like to be in a relationship with someone you are drawn to. 

For the majority of people, this is a typical situation. However, you? You would never have imagined that getting involved in love would lead to a rare series of events that would cause not only one person but also a group of stunningly beautiful women to fall in love with you all at once.

When the company and even the members realized how well your song was received and how it helped their record, it all began when you wrote another song for them.

It wouldn't hurt to have a second conversation to help you all start to feel at ease working together, so you all made a choice to learn more about each other far from only as collaborators.

You started to create friendships with 9 new people. Different personalities yet same values. Determination, hardworking, and sacrifice all for the height of dreams aiming in their careers. 

Nayeon, Jeongyeon, Momo, Sana, Jihyo, Mina, Dahyun, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu. Nine bunches of beautiful women are the last things you would consider to add from those qualities they possess.

On the other hand, during the times when TWICE gets to spend more time with you, they’ve gotten closer to what you truly are aside from just being a professional who helps them to maintain the expectations that fans are anticipating for them to deliver. 

They’ve observed your attitude as well, little aspect that they find interesting, and most importantly your looks. It may be not the type of visual for a guy that some of them would admire, but there’s difference to it that otherwise makes them consider it to be.

Every moments, every time passes, every self-reflection they do in their own space; they’ve all been realizing that this is starting to become more than what they could imagine it to be. 

For the first time, they found love in the midst of their career.

They were gathered in the living room, a perfect timing to discuss what truly these all means for them.

“What do you guys find about YN?”, Nayeon began the topic.

“”He’s nice, cool person to get along with. I get so comfortable being with him because we share the same hobbies.” Jeongyeon shared.

“He also makes me feel not worried about the times that I just make myself embarrass with him whenever I do dumb stuffs and such. Like I feel that he’s the only guy aside from all of you who gets me.” Momo said.

“Yeah, agree. But let’s set aside how good he is, I know some of yall would also follow as well. Can we also acknowledge how cute he is? Like, I just want to cuddle him forever.” Sana spoke it with a dreamy tone.

Jihyo chuckled and shook her head. “I think you can say that to him and he’ll allow you, Sana.”

“Oh I definitely will, but I’m afraid he might take it different. Maybe he-”

“Ignore you when he starts take it as something? I get that because I relate too.” Jihyo seconded. “He’s handsome, no doubt. Everytime he’s there, whatever he do I just couldn’t help but to watch him.”

“Didn’t you also do that to us all the time?” Jeongyeon asked.

“I do, but he’s different. I’m not looking at him proudly like you girls, I rather stare at him like… yeah you got it. I’m admiring him a lot closer.” Jihyo said while her expression contorts as if she’s literally seeing an illusion of your presence with them to stare like she does at you.

“Unnies right, YN is very good-looking. I bet he’ll pass as a visual if only he’s an idol.”

“Yet he sucks at dancing.” Momo teased you which made everybody laugh with Mina covering her mouth at how unexpected that roast was. “But I don’t mind, that’s what makes me adorable to me.”

“I think Momo unnie is also getting to the fact that YN is the complete opposite of what we are in other things and that’s what makes me get intrigued at him aside from his face.” Dahyun clarified.

“Was he even aware that there could be an instance that one of us is going to have a crush on him? Because if he does, such cruel of him to get into our feelings and make us struggle with it.” Chaeyoung touched her chest. “Sorry guys, I know I’m obvious but I can’t hide it anymore. I’m just like you all.”

“Weren’t we all? I wonder if YN already knew.” Tzuyu responded. “I like what Dahyun unnie has said by the way, my ideal guy is someone who is the complete opposite of what I can do but not who I possess, and I believe YN is the perfect person for me to give as an example.” 

“So that’s what it is then. After all we’ve heard from one another, we all do love him huh.” Nayeon concluded.

“Yeah.” They all answered.

“But wait, if nine of us are having a crush on him, will it be fine for the rest if one of us ends up confessing to him? Also, is there anybody from us right now who is planning to do so?”

Nayeon herself, Momo, Dahyun, and Chaeyoung were the ones who raised their hands.

“How about you guys?”

They all shared one common thought: they were still hesitating due to fear.

“Now that we’ve confirmed that we all like him equally, doesn’t that make you guys bothered? Seeing him might end up on one of us? I’ll start, I do.”

“Kinda.” Momo followed.

“Nope, but I’ll be disappointed if I couldn’t have him. He’s that kind of guy.” Dahyun admitted. 

“Same.” Chaeyoung said.

“I know this is stupid… but for the sake of us all, what if we all figure it out together?”

“What are you suggesting, Sana?” 

“What if we confess together at him? To be honest, I’ll be sad if I don’t get YN. But at the same time, if I ever have a chance, I don’t want to break all of your hearts because of what I did. So, what if we all face it together?

If only he could love us at once instead.”

“Woah wait, Sana isn’t that too much?” Jeongyeon shockingly questioned.

“But what can we do? I don’t mind if that happen. It’s either he loves us or none would be getting it back, much worse to witness one of us and him painfully in person.”

“Hmm… that could be impossible but are you really saying that we should consider it on our option for him to decide?”

Sana nodded.

“You know what, it’s already dumb and stupid for all of us to fall for the same guy. We can’t make ourselves look more ridiculously hypocrite if we decline Sana’s idea.” Nayeon said.

“So… we do it tomorrow?”

ACT 2

The girls carried that plan within themselves until they kept managing to act professional under your guidance as they record your song on the studio with the other staffs. The more they talk and glance at YN, it helps them to reevaluate further the decision they’re going to make, and based from how their hearts react, there’s no more denial anymore to it.

After the producer called the day done, all of them began to left until TWICE immediately called you to halt you from your tracks. You turned to gave them a curious look.

“Can we talk to you about something first, oppa?” Nayeon initiated the move.

“Sure, go ahead.” You openly allowed them.

“Okay… please hear us out from start to finish, oppa. This may not be the one you expect, but we just really want to ask you this.” She understood before letting the others speak.

“So uhm… last night we discussed about something to clear up our minds that’s been boggling us for couple of weeks now.” Jeongyeon began to take the turn.

“We suspected that we share the common curiosity, that’s why we decided to assist ourselves by clarifying what is this that we hold deep inside to ourselves that’s affecting us how we act around.” Momo added.

“You’re gonna be shocked to learn this but… It’s about the feelings we all developed… for you, oppa.” Sana shyly said, gripping her arm.

Your eyes widened after hearing that. You were unsure if you caught that right. Did she just said that it’s not just she… but them who feels something more for him? 

They were right, this isn’t exactly what you were predicting. Insane to believe, so you wanted to know more from them.

“Girls…hold on, what do you all mean with that? Like really-”

“We have a crush for you, oppa.” Jihyo made it comprehensible. You turned at her and gave her a baffled reaction. How did this end up in this situation? What luck or rare charm that you have for you to pull out nine baddies at the same time?

“W-what? S-seriously?” You stuttered at how surreal it is.

“We get it, oppa. Even each of us know that it’s ridiculous that not just one of us were admiring you but all of us do as well. But we have our own reasons to justify and not that we’re just going along with the ride that’ll make one of us feel betrayed.” Mina continued.

Dahyun nodded, agreeing with Mina. “Just like what we’ve all shared with one another, it all began from how you started to make us comfortable in your presence. You wanted to get to know more about us and not just for work because you’ve heard that we’re good person. Because of that, our heart probably reacted different that we expected from you how perceive and treat us.”

“That you were more eager to become closer with us because of who we are and not just by our talents that we use for us to be recognized by many. Our appreciation for that, well it blossomed a lot that it came to this moment where at first we’re oblivious to the fact that we’re harboring equal level of admiration for you.” Chaeyoung iliterates.

“Which is why right now, we wanted to ask you personally and find out what would it be when we say that we are confessing our feelings to you. It’s either you chose one of us or…” Tzuyu sighed and chuckled at this ridiculous thought that the girls just smiled in guilt knowing why did the youngest paused like that.

“Love us together at once would be a lot better. It’s all up for you to pick oppa.”

“And we’re not rushing you, oppa okay? You can give us your answer days later, no matter how long it is, we’ll wait.” Nayeon assured, patting your blank state. “We’ll be making our leave now, thank you for hearing us oppa.” They all bowed and one by one they exit at the door, leaving you dumbfounded in the studio alone.

It took you a week reprocessing what they just said. It also made you lost in reality and get a lack of proper sleep thinking about it. Mixed emotions rising with you as the outcome of their confession. 

Confused because of how impactful your kind actions for them that led for them to develop crush on you, relieved that you’ve being cherished more than you have to get, and scared of hurting them.

You just shrugged and shook your head at how crazy these all have been. The girls may have noticed how it affected you, but you tried to compose yourself so that it won’t make them assume that it’s distracting you in a bad way. Instead, their approach of you was the one you used to observe them and help you to comfirm your answer you’ll be making.

It came to the point where in a Monday morning, the last recording of TWICE for their upcoming album. You visited the studio and gave an excuse to support them to avoid confusion for the staffs since he’s not technically the lyricist anymore for the song they’re recording.

As they finished, some remained which prevented all ten of you to share the space privately again. Fortunately, Jihyo has another spot in mind to relocate yourselves and continue the topic. 

You find yourselves now standing in their eco-friendly garden on the top of their agency’s building. They all stood in front of you, forming like a barricade of beauty. 

Giving them one last observation of their visuals, the growing tightness in your chest was enough for you to proceed.

“It seems you’ve finally came up with an answer, oppa.” Jihyo said. “We have to admit, we’re a bit scared but… it’s our fault anyway so…”

“No, don’t regret it, Jihyo-ah. Girls, please, I don’t want to make you guys regret falling in love with somebody. For me. And I don’t want neither to feel like I’m such a bad option to be considered for that.” You disregarded it. 

“Actually, I want thank you all instead that you girls find me as what you’ve all said about me. I feel appreciated and… I wanted to return the favor, but ofcourse just as how much you girls thought about it, I have to do the same.

And it seems that… after a week of observing you all, I realized that… I did fall in love also.” 

Their face all lifted when they heard it. It was the exact positive words they wanted to learn. However it didn’t lasted long as it slowly shrank because they remembered about the choices they laid for you. This just could be bittersweet for them to accept.

“I fall in love… for every single one of you.” 

They all looked at you with trembling smiles and almost teary eyes. “I don’t know how this will work loving all nine of you at once but… for now, I’ll just enjoy how lucky I am to have all of you.” 

You grinned and let out a surprised sound when Sana immediately ran to hug you before the rest joined her, wrapping you into a group embrace instead. Their cheers and soft expressions made you chuckle at how adorable they were.

A year later and a half later, your relationship with them was stable despite some challenges. Thankfully, your frequent conversations with them allowed you to develop a way to keep things all too well between all of you.

Attention, affection, and time has to be given equally and for that, they offered a recommendation to make your relationship discover better amusement and another form to feel each other’s love.

Nayeon was the one who proposed the idea of trying sex to make things interesting and test each other's resiliency to withstand witnessing another member being highly intimate with you. They all agreed with it for the sake of another opportunity to have with you and the willingness to measure their endurance.

Since Nayeon was the mastermind, she was the one who didn’t wasted any much time to make it official. She initiated to have the pleasure of having it with you for the first time, and surprisingly for a beginner, the way she shows you how she does it was far from that.

You and her did it on the couch, Nayeon took off your shorts and gets to see the enormous cock she’s been picturing sometimes whenever she gets a sight of your bulge, pretty confident that its size would match how immensely attractive you are, and it sure did not disappoint.

All you had to do is to watch her please you while eating your food. She licked her lips before gently lifted your cock with her fingertips as she led it into her warm mouth. She sucked you off, feeling the slickness of her soft tongue and plump lips taking every inch of you.

Her grip become full-fisted as she began ejaculating you while her mouth isn’t full, taking a breather for a second. She didn’t forget about you hanging testicles too, she knew it also requires the same attention at how delectable its size was. Pointing your cock upwards, she pumped you fast while she handled each of your balls into her naughty mouth.

She went back at your cock, gathering some bubbling pre-cum of yours and slithering it around your reddish mushroom-shaped cockhead before returning it to her warm cavern . You swayed some hair blocking her face and placed your hand on top of her head as you savor the feeling of her blowjob. Her continuous upward stare at you as she locked you into her deepthroat turned you on.

You shivered when she vibrates in your cock with her gags and hums. You move her head again for few more strokes until you start to feel the tempting climax. Nayeon then felt your semen erupting in her mouth, she let go and presented your load in her tongue before swallowing it off including the remaining drops from your tip flowing in which she pinched your head for some.

It then followed with the other members, whether they get it solo on the following days or having two or more of them on the same day. You got a taste of Jeongyeon’s milf physique on her bedroom, taking too much time pounding her thickness in a breeding position around the bed.

You fucked Momo in the shower after taking a bath from the gym. Being helpful you are other than supporting her in every position you took her in the shower walls and in the bathtub, you washed her body with soap and ofcourse you paid too much attention on her perfect round tits and ass.

Sana likes it rough, you made sure as per request to make her completely spent and possibly unable to walk straight the next day. As a result of ferocious hammering into her that made her scream loud, hair dishevelled, and getting bounced aggressively, she was left on bed spewing with cum.

Jihyo serviced you more with the biggest asset she has on her godly built body which is her impressive pair of breasts. She did almost everything with it to make you feel good along with her Titjob, massage, another breastfeeding, you name it.

Mina was the one who showed difference than the rest of the girls. She likes it being more in control, having this mommy kink that had you submitting with her dominant charm.

Taking a break from getting exposed too much on playing games, that’s why she rather used you as her plaything instead, edging your cock for an hour until she lets you give her a creamy facial where its streak felt neverending.

Dahyun and Chaeyoung decided to double-tandem you, they wanted to contribute something new as well to your sexual life with them while assisting each other’s tension of trying sex for the first time. If Dahyun has her hourglass body to offer, then Chaeyoung has her petite quality. You ragdolled each of them in any angle possible while still applying a bit of care into it, taking advantage of how vulnerable they appear.

You enjoyed using Dahyun’s surprisingly packing rear, probably because of her small waist that is an effective handle for you to use while putting her in doggystyle. Chaeyoung endured your roughness by bending her to the limit as you force her to take your cock all the way. It ended with both of them laying on your side, exhausted at your performance.

Lastly, Tzuyu has some similarity with Momo, Jihyo, and Mina. She likes it when she showcases the proudest part of her body as an effective tool to provide euphoria in sex. 

You emptied your load you have in store in her puffy pussy and mouth, until she decides to conclude your time with her by letting you use her perfectly meaty thighs in any way possible, making sure that it’ll be the part she’ll have to clean a lot later by how much cum it’ll receive.

It all were amazing, and they will absolutely beg for more if they need it. It became challenging for you both to control your lust while one of you was unavailable because it had now become a habit in your relationship with them.

That’s why when one day, TWICE had to fly to another country to start their world tour, resulting in their months long disappearance. Both were affected by it, yet it turns out that you are the one who were unable to resist the urge in the end. 

Brought on by the struggle of longing and desperation, you attempted to look for something else to spend your time with. First thing that came to your mind is to call your childhood bestfriend Ji-eun or better known right now as IU by many, the name she uses as an actress and a soloist in the industry. She regretfully informed you that she's not available because of her current busy schedule for the filming of her new project. She apologized and promised you by the end of the call that once she's done, she'll catch up right ahead and always be there around you when needed. You appreciated and understand her, but the decrease of your patience goes by in the following days. It then came to an end when one of your other friends invited you to a club to celebrate for their job promotion, and you joined them. It was loud and lively inside, but it doesn’t help you yet with the other uncomfortable problem.

You took too much glass of alcohol, your senses starts to slowly drift away from your consciousness. A woman approaches on the counter and saw you, her interest piqued. 

“You seem alone. Nobody’s with you.”

You pointed behind lazily and spoke gibberishly. “There, my friends.”

“Oh. They look like they’re having fun. Why are you here?”

“Bored. Dancing sucks.”

She giggled. “Can’t say the same.” She took a gulp of another drink in her wineglass.

“Want to get out of here? I’m free to accompany you. Maybe I can help you enjoy the rest of the night with my friends.”

“Whatever you say, gorgeous. But sorry, I’m taken.”

“She’ll never know.” She comforted you, caressing her hands across your arm. “Come on,don’t be a bummer. Whoever that girl of yours is, including those friends of yours. They’re pathetic leaving you alone here, so just forget everybody for now.” 

She made you stand up from your seat. “We’ll make sure that all you’ll be going to think about tonight… is us.” She smirked before she pulled you with her. Too drunk and weak, she easily directed you to the table where three other women are laughing together.

“Girls, look what I found.”

They all looked at the long curly black haired woman cuddling your arm.

“He looks hot!”

“You snatched a perfect guy.”

 “Way to go, Karina!”

Karina grinned proudly before she eyed you mischieviously. “Come on, let’s go found ourselves a place to start.

You and them entered a vacant VIP room through the hallway. Right after the door went shut, Karina pushed you to the left wall and stared seductively at you, studying your eyes weakly flickering and lips partly gawked open. 

Her image were becoming blurry, and each snap of your vision were trying to recover a glimpse of a sight. That didn’t do much help rather, as it only casted an alluring disguise of Chaeyoung sporting black curly hair just like Karina’s.

Your unstable condition made you believe that the girls are now back to reconcile with you after such long tiring days. Even the three other unfamiliar girls turned into them after you turned at them.

Karina forcefully turned your head back to face her. She cupped your cheeks and bit her lips. “You must be wondering why you? Baddies only deserve to be with the hotties, that’s why… and I find you to be one.”

She escaped a warm breath at your ear before going below to your neck, trailing kisses and sucks all over it before she starts undressing your shirt. Karina goes back on mauling you, with your hands now placed through her packing rear.

“We got all organized now here, Jimin. Let’s have him somewhere more comfortable, will ya?” Giselle said, popping out a cork of the champagne.

“Heard them? We’re going to give you a fuck of a lifetime, baby. So good that you’ll be coming back for more.” She chuckled before grabbing your wrist and took you to the side of the bed.

The rest of the three members began taking off their clothes. Karina went back to have your attention again, sharing french kisses with you in which she has leading the action at first until her intimacy gets you more hypnotized that your senses started to join along to the heating temptation growing on you.

She felt your hands inspecting her figure from behind while her arms wrapped around your head. After a minute, she decided to turn things even wilder.

Crashing to the sofa, you sat at the edge when Ningning and Winter crawled from behind and captured your sides. You reciprocated Ningning’s lips while Winter made you moan with her mouth planted at your jaw and your neck.

Distracting your attention for a moment allowed Karina to take off her white shirt and jeans, revealing her matching black laced bra and panties. She walked sexily at you and straddled your lap, signalling that it’s time to focus back at the most well-endowed woman in the room.

Karina deeply kisses you again and began grinding on your crotch. She roamed her hands up and down at your pecs. Her head thrown aback as she was now the one who is feeling her chest and shoulder more attention, licking and sucking them enough to form hickeys.

With one last sniff on her neck, you reached at the lock of her bra behind and unclasped it, releasing two huge natural pillows of fat hanging above her midsection. Karina mewled as she felt your hands grasp from underneath of her tits and squeeze them roughly.

You were playing them together, stimulating her nipples to erect when Giselle appeared behind Karina, now wearing only a blue bra. She raised the champagne bottle and poured it down on Karina presenting her entire front at you.

Alcohol flowing down across her body would be a waste of an amount, it encouraged you to make some of it worth it by lunging down on her tits, hungrily chomping at them like a lion enjoying his prey brought by the pent up frustration of longing. Karina sways her body side to side to help you rub your face through her wet breasts.

One last kisses on each of those pink areolas, Karina had enough to give the others turn while she minds her own business. Ningning and Winter sat each at your thighs and grinded at them while you claim each piece of their sizes.

On your back, Giselle helps her two friends be soaked in alcohol as well before massaging your back with her own package. Karina strips down your pants and boxers, she grins at the sight of your 7-inches cock throbbing at the lewd act you’re participating in.

All of them are now busy pleasuring you. Giselle with her tits pressed at your back, you alternating Ningning and Winter’s bodies, and Karina choking at your cock.

It went for minutes before Karina gave you some few fast strokes and handed your cock to Giselle. Before she does so, she requested something unique for you to do first.

“Go all fours, baby. I want each of us to have a taste.”

You followed afterwards. Through Giselle’s direction, Ningning and Winter spreaded their legs together in front of your head while Giselle and Karina went near at your hanging manhood.

“Would you look at this? So thick and girthy. Can’t believe we can finally all have something like this after long attempts to search.” Giselle said while flicking your erect shaft back and forth.

“Save all the thanks, all that matters now is we drain his semen inside these precious testicles in its last drop. We’ve craved for a long time to get some of this, and now we’re here. ” Karina said as she choked your balls around the gap of her thumb and index.

“Yeah, we better not waste this moment. I’ll go with his dick, you go with his balls then we’ll switch. Deal?”

“I’m fine with either of them, both are massive anyways.” 

Giselle inserted herself between your legs, laying down and facing your cock. You adjusted a bit, lowering it for her to suck slowly. Karina then kneeled behind you, she starts rimming at your ass first as she realizes how this position granted her an extra reward as well.

Everybody is now creating slurping, smacking, and gagging sounds in the room. Ningning moaned lustfully while her pussy is being eaten, Winter almost screamed feeling your fingers getting erratic invading her insides, Giselle hums as she swirls her tongue around while you filled her mouth with your cock, and Karina formed her lips in an O-shape to fit into your balls each and suck them until they’re a mess of her spit.

Reaching each others climax, Ningning and Winter staining the bed as they squirted together. Giselle swallowed some of  your cum with your cock giving few more pushes down to her throat, then she gets up to remove herself so that you can spin around and sat with Karina making sure your cock is still in its erect size by giving you a short titjob.

The next morning, you woke up in an unfamiliar room in shock to find three women sleeping with you. It was late for you to realize that all of you are naked, with no memories of the lengthy fivesome that happened through the whole five hours of dawn after relocating to a nearby motel.

“Oh, you’re now awake.” Karina greets you, holding her mug of coffee as she appeared from the balcony. She was only wearing her bathrobe.

“Who are you and them? H-how did I got here?” You asked as you tried to remove yourself between these women.

“Tone it down, it’s rude to interrupt someone in their sleep, especially if its my friends.” Karina said.

You hopped out of the bed, trying not to awake them. “Seriously, what is this? Did something happened last night?”

“Oh, you don’t remember do you?” Karina said. “Your tolerance sucks and yet your girlfriend even let you hang around on a bar alone. She must be stupid or something.”

“Don’t talk like that about them- uhh her.” You immediately corrected yourself after accidentally spilling out that it’s not just singular. “Shit, okay whatever that happened to us, it’ll be the last time. Okay?”

“Well that was fun until it lasted.” Karina shrugged. “Although I admit, it kind of sucks knowing how hard you fucked us around the VIP room and even here. All of us are stuffed with your load.” She teased as she rubs her tummy. “I even woke up with some still leaking on my thighs.Your stamina is insane, my guy.” 

“W-wait, I came inside?” You horrifying questioned as the possibilities of that ran in your mind.

“Yeah. But don’t worry, were idols so… we take birth controls. Pregnancy ain’t for us yet.” Karina assured you as you breathed in relief.

Your eyes went wide as you also noticed something. “Hold on, you are idols?”

“You didn’t know? We’re Aespa, I thought you knew us. Ain’t bragging but we do are popular.” 

“Heard of it but I never that much of a huge K-Pop fan to do more research.” 

“Okay, well it’s fine and congrats too, I guess. You’re a lucky guy who got to bang one of the hottest women that probably most of the male fans of ours out there were fantasizing to gain an opportunity with us.” She smirked. 

“Anyways, don’t worry. You can leave now. Keep it a secret and we’ll do mine as well. You have a relationship to protect and we have our image too.” She told you.

You picked up your clothes and dressed yourself to prepare leaving. Karina gets closer at you. “But still, if ever you need to unwind and take your troubles away… dial us up.” She hand gestures a phone call and kisses your cheek before leaving the door without any response.

As you exit the apartment, you cursed under your breath frustratingly. You just fucked another women beside TWICE. Worse, behind their backs and that means you just committed a sin in your relationship with them. 

You know to yourself that you’re screwed, but to keep yourself safe, you just have to forget that nothing just happened. 

Unbeknownst to you, it was only for a matter of time… END OF PART ONE ===OOO===

[radioactiveheadache]

the number of young folks under and around 25 that i see saying things like "idk what i'll do when i turn 30" genuinely frightens me. like... i get it. genuinely. i was younger than 30 not too long ago. it also felt like a massive weight looming over me, waiting to drop onto my young shoulders. but the thing is—i feel the EXACT fucking same as i did when i was in my 20s??? aging 30 years is nothing, mentally. you're not a different person all of a sudden. you don't magically go from "fun young adult with life ahead of them" to "crotchety idiot on death's door" overnight. you're the same you as you've ever been, just with 30 years of experience at life under your belt. also maybe some new aches and pains. it happens.

though, perhaps i should rephrase that a bit, because it does change you somewhat. it depends on the individual/experiences of course, and it's not guaranteed by any age necessarily, but let me just say this: i have never, ever, EVER been more sure of who i am, what i am capable of, and what i want for myself than i am now, at 32. i can only imagine that this trend will continue, and i look forward to what i'll be like in my 40s. my 50s. my 60s.

for those of you on the cusp, you 28 and 29 year olds, and those freshly over the 3-decade hump, i want to reassure you of something:

there's no magic number. just like you're not meant to have everything "figured out" in your 20s, you might not have it all sorted by 30, either. and that's not a measure of your character or your worth. i'm not on HRT, though i'd like to be. i don't own my home. my partner and i are being kicked in the teeth by debts of all sorts. my life isn't perfect! i'm 32 and stuff is still hard! but now, more than i ever did when i was younger, i feel the drive to keep pushing forward. i know what life could be like for me. i know what mental tools i have at my disposal. and even if it takes me another decade, another twenty or thirty years, i will keep at it.

don't take this as a sign that there's no light at the end of the tunnel. no, you may not have it sorted by 30, and it may take you some time after that milestone to feel stable, safe, or comfortable. but you never know when that'll happen for you! it could be 25. it could be 30. it could be 37. or 37-and-three-quarters. you know what i mean? it could happen for you any day. any minute. keep going. just one more day. what if it happens tomorrow? or the next day? or the next?

there's no magic number. there's no magic number. there's no magic number. please remember that.

From one Gen-Z to another, let’s continue to deprogram ourselves from the idea that 30 is old and you need to have your shit together before 30.

You can go back to school after age 30!

You can fall in love after age 30!

You can find a best friend after age 30!

You can find a passion after age 30!

You can find a job you love after age 30!

You can recover from an addiction after the age 30!

You can pursue a large goal after age 30!

You can travel the world after age 30!

You can move after age 30!

You can change your appearance after age 30!

You can ask for help after age 30!

You can make discoveries about yourself after age 30!

You can come out after age 30!

You can fix your finances after age 30!

You can be attractive after age 30!

You can fix your life after age 30!

You can do anything after age 30!

Idk what so specifically about the number 30 has bewitched so many of us into believing that means your life is over, but it’s just so far from the truth!

You have so much more time after 30 to accomplish all that you want to do.

Your life isn’t over until it quite literally is over. Stop giving yourself a deadline that doesn’t exist!

[kxsagi]

waiitttt imagine going panty shopping w the bllk boys 🤭🤭 do you think they'd be shy ?? lolll

“𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚’𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭”

a/n: okay so i made this a little bit more of them like shopping in victoria’s secret for the first time since you’re their first and only gf (headcanon edition) + they pay for everything

i am literally OBSESSED with that store, at the mall, i can barely hold myself back from going in there and coming out with the cute pink striped shopping bag omg my bank account 💔

ft. isagi yoichi, bachira meguru, itoshi rin, chigiri hyoma, shidou ryusei, kaiser michael, karasu tabito, itoshi sae

𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢 𝐲𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐢 - “𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬”

walking into the store, he’s confident, cool, and calm, until he spots the rows of lacy lingerie and cutesy sets. his face immediately turns bright red, and it’s like someone hit the pause button on his entire personality.

for the rest of the trip, he awkwardly stares at the ceiling, suddenly fascinated by the decorative lights or the patterns in the floor tiles, anything to avoid looking at the lacy wonders around him. the moment you hold up something a little suggestive and ask, “what do you think, love?” he’s already looking anywhere but at you.

inside, he’s probably dying from the sheer embarrassment, but he keeps trying to act like this is completely normal, which only makes the whole thing more adorable. 

𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒: “𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐞𝐬?!”

you know he’s out of his depth when he stares at the wall of bras like it’s a puzzle he’s been trying to solve for years.

“wait, there’s a difference between balconette, demi, and full coverage?!” he whispers to you, clearly panicking at the sheer variety of options. he’s desperately trying to keep up with all the terminology, but it’s all too much.

at this point, he’s holding one bra like he’s trying to figure out the meaning of life. you can’t help but laugh at how lost he looks, but you’re also secretly proud of him for wanting to learn, even if he’s completely confused.

𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐮 - “𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐭”

he walks in and immediately takes control of the situation by grabbing every single piece you hand him. you’re planning on picking out a few things, but he’s already holding onto three bags before you’ve even made it past the first section.

when you tease him about it, he just shrugs it off with a smile like, "i’ve got it, angel. i’m your personal shopper today." you have to admit, it’s kind of adorable how he’s fully committed to the cause, even if he’s holding onto a bunch of pink totes and looking a little silly.

the best part? he insists on carrying everything for you, even if you don’t need the help. he’s happy to be there, even if it means looking like a fashion-forward mule with a ton of shopping bags hanging off his arms. 

𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒: “𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐝 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝”

the best part? after checking out, he’s walking through the mall with a proud grin on his face, holding that pink victoria’s secret bag like it’s a badge of honor.

he’s lowkey hoping someone will ask what he bought just so he can proudly say, “i went shopping for lingerie with my girlfriend,” with a completely unapologetic smile.

at this point, he’s way too happy about the experience, walking a little taller, chest puffed out, and feeling like he’s just won boyfriend of the year. you can tell by the way he’s grinning that he’ll remember this trip as a highlight of your relationship.

𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐫𝐢𝐧 - “𝐟𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐜”

the first few minutes are easy: he's walking around like a chill boyfriend, checking out some of the bras on the wall, pretending he’s seen it all before. but the minute you turn a corner and step into the section with more daring pieces, like the push-up bras or the sheer lace sets, his entire demeanor shifts.

he tries to act casual and aloof, his hands in his pockets, trying to act like he’s totally unfazed by all the… suggestive material surrounding him. but his eyes? his eyes are darting around like he's trying not to be caught sneaking a peek at the more revealing items.

he even tries to start up a casual conversation with you about something completely unrelated, like “did you hear of that new horror movie that just released?” just to avoid the possibility of you catching him staring a little too long at a satin thong. 

𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐢 𝐡𝐲𝐨𝐦𝐚 - “𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐞”

once he realizes how much fun he’s actually having, he falls into consultant mode. you're holding up a few items, and suddenly, he’s transformed into the perfect mix of fashion expert and personal cheerleader.

“hmm, the lace on this one is nice, but i think this other one is more you,” he says, pointing to another set with a thoughtful look. “you should definitely try this one on.”

he’s genuinely focused, comparing different cuts, colors, and fabrics like he’s running an intimate fashion show in his head. you can't help but laugh because you weren’t expecting him to take this so seriously. but he loves seeing you happy, and if giving his fashion opinion means you walk out with a set you adore, then he’s in it to win it.

𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐲𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐢 - “𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐤𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐮𝐧”

at some point, he starts to enjoy himself. you might be the one shopping for lingerie, but now he’s fully invested in your shopping experience.

suddenly, he’s holding up all sorts of things with exaggerated flair, like an over-the-top stylist. “you should totally get this satin robe. imagine how gorgeous you’d look in it,” he says with a playful grin, picturing you in it already.

he's not even pretending to be disinterested anymore, he's genuinely enjoying picking out things with you, helping you mix and match, and giving you encouraging compliments as you try on outfits.

𝐤𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐞𝐥 - “𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐜𝐞”

after a few minutes of nervousness, he gets comfortable in the store and flips into playful mode. you’re picking out a few things, and he spots a push-up bra on a nearby shelf. with a mischievous smirk, he picks it up, walks over to you, and holds it up to your chest with a teasing grin.

“you don’t even need these, schatz,” he says, grinning like a little devil, and before you can even respond, he’s mockingly cupping your chest as if to make a point.

you swat him away in embarrassment, but he just laughs at how flustered you’re getting. you can’t help but smile too, because underneath all his teasing, there’s that glint in his eyes that shows just how much he loves making you laugh.

𝐤𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐮 𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐨 - “𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐛𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐭��𝐦”

just when you think things are going smoothly, a sales associate approaches to offer help. your boyfriend, now standing a bit too close to the lacy underwear section, freezes like a deer caught in headlights.

the associate turns to him with a smile and asks, “can i help you find anything, sir?” and without missing a beat, he awkwardly stutters, “oh, uh, no, i’m just… here,” his voice trailing off.

he then tries to backpedal without looking too suspicious, but ends up bumping into a table of thongs, knocking over a display in a clumsy panic, which only makes him blush harder. it’s as if the universe is conspiring against him. 

𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐬𝐚𝐞 - “𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐯 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭”

you’re looking through a few brilliantly colored lace sets when he casually picks up a random pair of lacy panties. he looks at them for a moment, clearly thinking, “maybe this would look nice on her.” but then, he suddenly realizes he’s holding them up like a creep.

his eyes widen in absolute horror, and he practically flings them back onto the table, face bright red. he looks around quickly to see if anyone saw his embarrassing slip-up, only to find you watching with a small smirk.

“did you just...?” you tease, and he looks so mortified that it’s almost too cute. but hey, it’s still adorable how flustered he gets, even though he’s just trying to be sweet. 

© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

[sashayed]

ok now it is time to air my grievances with severance s2, a season of television i thoroughly enjoyed and looked forward to every week. s2 is mr milchick putting on a spectacular drumline Just For Me and what do they get for it. trapped behind a vending machine (readmore cut) while i batter them with a trombone. classic ingratitude.

my umbrella gripe btw is that showrunner dan erickson's figurative innie is actually Ricken and he won't admit it and until he does we are never going to see the show that severance Could Be. like ricken is a pretentious nightmare who is insulated from the consequences of his own actions. he's also got a fascinating way with words (fond, derogatory) and a heart that yearns for love and he is really trying to Say Something. ok well that's what this show is. accept this and reconcile with yourself Dan Erickson (or should I say DAN: SO RICKEN??? boom anagrammed!!) or keep displacing all your sins onto that one character and doom this show to eternal alienation from its own core themes.

i think we can all admit that pacing in this season sucks and they had enough time to do it better. and the thing is imo if you were really committed to storytelling you would have to cut some of the most fun/fanservicey individual scenes of the season. i can see why you might choose not to do that! like for instance the baby goats thing. i get it. it looked soooo fun to film with the baby goats. visually the pasture room is great. gwendoline christie is a gift. it's fun! but it doesn't actually uhhh serve the story to spend all that time on it. it doesn't shed any new light. "they are sacrificing the goats because lumon is a creepy cult." we KNOW they are a creepy cult. "lumon thinks innies are non-people who don't experience love and care, but they DO experience love and care and that motivates them." brother we know that too!! "ok but wasn't it all worth it for that heavyweight christie/olafsson finale fight scene." i will concede this point. that ruled.

pacing problems never worse than in "sweet vitriol," an episode i actually enjoyed more than everyone else, but it didn't need to be a standalone and in fact was badly served by the format!! many in your audience have forgotten to give a shit about ms cobel so the revelation that she invented severance doesn't hit for them. splitting her storyline up and dividing it among episodes starting earlier would have kept her more consistently in play and opened up space for underserved character arcs, like dylan aND IRVING—

—because as much fun as burving demon threesome is it is so underbaked and wastes one of the show's coolest characters. WHO IS IRVING. WHY IS HE SLEEPERAGENTING LUMON. you're gonna put him on a train to the farm for old dogs and be like "all was well because love is more important than revenge :)" ??? like sure but again it DOESN'T HIT because it doesn't require the viewer to struggle with WHAT IRVING'S DRIVING FORCE ACTUALLY WAS. and he doesn't even get to kiss. let him kiss!!!!

I actually think having reintegration move at an unpredictable pace and having its side effects be unclear is not the worst idea, and in fact as an allegory for like, real life healing and becoming a Whole Person i maybe even prefer it. but the pacing problems move it beyond "this process is unfolding gradually and erratically" into "we have forgotten this is happening" and it just didn't have to be that way, man. side note there is something fascinating going on with helly's uncomfortable, unwilling quasi-reintegration from the innie side! from the moment she finds herself in front of that gala to hearing jame say he doesn't love his daughter, she is accepting the fact that SHE IS HELENA. she is thinking about how She as a first-person experiencer of the world could find herself in helena's position (which helena—who is less of a grownup than her innie—is still unable/unwilling to do). i've read some criticism of that final scene (which i loved btw) that was like "helly's goal has always been to dismantle lumon, why would she give that up for A Man? wouldn't she push mark s. out the door and be like BURN THIS PLACE TO THE GROUND?" sure, but i think that doesn't engage with helly's arc either—which is not about revolutionary conviction OR about A Man but about about discovering that SHE wants to live, she doesn't want to hang herself in the elevator out of spite, she wants her half-a-life even if it means a degree of complicity with her evil outie. on the other hand, does the WRITING actually engage with helly's arc? or am i getting all that from britt lower??

speaking of making actors do all the work: we as a show are going to grapple with corporate racism and the Black experience :) no we're not :) or are we? ;) you're welcome :)))

i don't love gemma's backstory boiling down to Woman Want Baby. "Greatest Agony for Woman Is Want Baby and Can't Have Baby" is a storyline that makes me personally grimace. but i accept that that's a personal preference and honestly dichen lachman sells her character/s so beautifully that i didn't even remember to bitch about it when i originally wrote this. i just remembered it and had to edit this post because god forbid i don't complain about something. (although. now that i AM complaining about it: putting someone through three years of torture and then being like "we'll prove this fresh consciousness is unaffected by suffering by going all the way back to the baby thing, because 'no baby,' not years of torture and isolation, is the fundamental pain at the root of this woman's being," is...........a choice!!!!! it's a choice. and if it were a deliberate narrative choice, like if it were about how the lumon ideology fundamentally conceives of women, that would be one thing! but i just don't think it is.)

did i mention i really liked this season and had a great time. i did. i am bitching about it because i have a fun time rotating it in my mind. maybe it's actually very brave and artistic to make a show that is not as well-crafted as it could be because then you are opening up intellectual/creative space for your viewers. what about that. if you think about it maybe a slightly less good show is better than a great show. in a way. checkmate haters

[tsumisgarden]

Thinking about how KCD1 and 2 are both set in 1403 is always crazy to me. Because at the beginning of KCD 2, you have Henry telling Hans that he's behaving like a spoiled brat (which he is, absolutely).

But when you start KCD1, which, again, happened that same year, you have big baby Henry, who would whine to his Ma about being hungry, who also would run to his Ma when he had a booboo because some drunk beat him up, and who gets pocket money from his Pa to go woo his girl at the tavern.

And it breaks my heart to think about how fast Henry had to grow up after losing everything in Skalitz. He was so unprepared for everything that was thrown at him. The only things he had going for him to face his new reality were a braveness that verges on madness and maybe a certain way with people – Because he was Skalitz’s beloved boy. Beloved by his parents, obviously, but also by most of the villagers who all seemed fond of him. But then, after the raid, he didn't even have the support of those people anymore, because they were either dead or had lost everything.

After Skalitz, the remaining villagers needed him to find them jobs to survive. And the people at Rattay did eventually warm up to him, but it was a slow process. And for that to happen, he had to chase and kill bandits for them, or to steal things for them and join them in their shady business. Such a stark contrast to the favors people would ask from him back in Skalitz, like throwing dung at people's houses for shittalking the king.

But among everyone else who needed him for vital or grim reasons, there was Hans and his silly requests. Hans, who needed him to fetch wine and flowers, and to be his wingman to woo a girl. Hans, who wanted him to take part in a tourney and pretend to be his page to get his uncle off his back. Hans, who despite their rocky start and class divide, was one of the people who warmed up to him the quickest, and who essentially reminded Henry that the days when his actions didn't have to have life or death stakes and could be just mischievous fun weren't gone completely.

"A bad day is just a bad day and it doesn't mean that your whole life is fucked" That piece of wisdom from Hans in KCD2, it’s Hans who makes Henry realize that in KCD1, during the earliest and darkest days of his grief.

Fast forward to KCD2, it's now Hans who has to grow up too fast, when he's first brutally stripped of the privileges of his status, and then is thrown into a losing battle against Sigismund and his allies.

If KCD1 is Henry's coming of age story, KCD2 is Hans's. He goes from making Henry do his share of his work, to wishing he could be the one to save Henry for once(*). He also goes from thinking that hauling sacks is beneath him to volunteering to dig graves. And he learns to accept responsibility for what happened at the pond.

Up until KCD2, Hanush was always nearby to handle serious matters for Hans as his guardian. Delivering that message to Von Bergow is Hans's first time in a leading position.

He thinks he's ready, but almost immediately, he makes a mistake that gets his men killed, and puts him in a situation where people won't recognize his status because he doesn't look the part. That mistake almost gets him hanged, one of the lowliest deaths, even for a peasant. It reminds him of the precariousness of his status, which he has been taking for granted.

Then, when his status is acknowledged again, he realizes it makes him a bargaining chip more than anything. And he is a bargaining chip both to his enemies, who will capture him for a ransom, but also to his allies who, will marry him off without his input to reinforce their political standing.

And through all of this, the one person who stayed loyal to him was Henry. Henry did everything in his power to save him when no one else was on his side because they took him for a mere poacher. Then he found that while his allies mostly care about what they can gain or lose from him, Henry only cares about keeping him safe, and it's not because it's his duty, but because he cares about him, plain and simple.

In KCD1, Henry, who was used to a carefree life, suddenly has to take on responsibilities that are too heavy for him (or anybody, really). But Hans reminds him that his carefree days aren't completely gone.

In KCD2, Hans thinks that inheriting Rattay will open a smooth path to glory for him, but the following events quickly disillusion him about that. But he also finds that there is someone he can always rely on, and it's Henry, and it's not because he's a noble but because of his person.

They were each other's beacon in their darkest times. The way they complete each other, it's really no surprise that they fell in love along the way.

(*) Never mind that he did save Henry multiple times, but I think what he means is that he wishes he could take on some dangerous tasks so that Henry wouldn't be the one who has to risk his life all the time.

[caramelclover]

Hello I bring u a little thought experiment I had: Swapwashing. An au where the tulpar crews professions are all swapped amongst each other but their personalities remain intact hehe

Poor Anya surrounded by idiots and she is on her last strand of sanity

Little character dissection and possible plot under the cut!!

About The Crew

Swansea - The Captain - Swansea is the captain and has been serving for a while. He's made it to the top all the while having settled and had kids with his wife. All in all he's comfortable and self assured to a fault. He knows the ins and outs about the company, so he's able to lead his crew with a bit of of a softer hand and more chummy attitude. This is why he'd view Anya, a younger co-pilot that transferred onto the Tulpar a few years back, as a thorn in his side when she starts worrying about the ship and questioning his practices.

Anya - The Co-pilot - Anya is an accomplished Co-pilot, however she does not strive to become a captain. The work is arduous, tedious, it stresses her out to no end to the point that she's started growing grey hairs at the age of 32. She's a rather anxious person and in turn it makes it hard for her to enjoy her line of work. Instead she wants to keep the ship running well, but she does want to find work elsewhere, preferably in an environment that won't treat her lesser than her male coworkers.

Curly - The Mechanic - A low stress job that allows Curly to flex his muscles is something he enjoys. It allows him time and energy to both focus on his work and wonder what the next chapter of his life will bring. Overall he is outgoing and is looking forward to doing more for his crew; he wants to help them all as best as he can

Jimmy - The Nurse - Curly put in a good word for his friend Jimmy in the pursuit of helping him get a job. This, as well as the requirements for being a nurse while working at Pony Express, means that Jimmy has a bit more power than he's used to. He's keen on harassing his co-workers under the guise of "medical necessity", and he makes many nasty remarks to Anya specifically, disregarding her status. Anything he says or does is a "joke" and Swansea defends that.

Daisuke - The Nurse Intern - Daisuke is sweet, he does his best and tries to learn from the best. But Jimmy isn't exactly a positive influence, and Jimmy actively sabotages Daisuke's learning to ensure he does not become a nurse under Pony Express by feeding him false information and practices. The one thing he can keep alive though is his tamagotchi.

The Plot (WIP)

So my main idea for the plot itself hinges on Anya crashing the ship. While it may not be 100% in character, there's a reason for this. Jimmy isn't exactly the most above board nurse there is, neither is Pony Express. I believe Pony Express would use some cheaper, off brand alternatives to medication, including experimental drugs. Coupled with Jimmy not being the most attentive nurse, while also having ulterior motives, would try to harm Anya in some way. However this would essentially back fire, as the medicine would result in her having a psychotic break and crashing the ship. Her psychotic break would be mostly hallucinations, but they'd be led by her hatred for her situation. After all, the captain who has scorned her for most of her stay gets to have glowing recommendations and a chance at a job after the firing.

When the ship crashes Swansea is the victim, and the story would then follow Anya's guilt for what had happened, as well as her feelings of rage and anxiety as she's now the sole captain of a crew that sees her as lesser.

The story is still a bit of a WIP and i'll be sort of chewing it over, so things are subject to change. BUT that's my premise :D

[naranjapetrificada]

Specifically about the racefakery:

I'm primarily seeing the conversation around All This focus on plagiarism (which makes sense) but I wanted to say some things as one of the handful of Black people I'm aware of that hang out around here:

1. Discord makes my brain itch and I've been afraid to go to OFMD bluesky after how bad OFMD twitter was, so I'm often one of so few Black people on here that you can count us one hand. I wasn't especially close with Atticus but I did like knowing that someone else was gonna be loud about racist Ed takes from a "position of authority" as it were. That knowledge made shit feel a lot less lonely over here and this motherfucker took that from me. That's what I feel betrayed about. That's what pisses me off about the racefaking in particular. Things are now unequivocally going to be harder for me around here than they were before and I hate that he was able to put me in this position.

2. I'm not aware of if he plagiarized any of my fics because they're mostly 100% canon compliant or in one case, too weird to effectively copy, but I'll never know because 100+ middling fics is too many to check through. I'm okay not knowing because the stilted way he wrote about Ed's hair and Ed's race are not things I wish to subject myself to anymore. But for the record, his fics are one of the places where the racefakery shows the most imo because writing makes you tell on yourself in unanticipated ways.

3. Maybe this next point will get me blocked by even more white people in this fandom but here we go anyway. I've struggled to come up with a more diplomatic way of saying "white people are too polite/conflict averse" but like, white people are too polite/conflict averse. This has literally come up in this exact fandom before, around a less fraught issue but still. It had ugly fallout then and it's had ugly fallout now, and while I understand not wanting to come at somebody you perceive as a person of color where everyone could see it, I do wish we had an environment where people who did have suspicions about him could have come forward. The amount of harm he was able to do is directly proportional to the amount of time and space he had to do it, and even before you start talking about the racefaking he was up to shady shit that I certainly had no idea was going on. Which leads to my next point.

4. I can recall a couple times where my race-related spidey senses tingled, but any unease I had was easily lost in the constant din of race-related shit that comes with my existence both in and out of fan spaces. To borrow from scarrletmoon (I miss having you here!) it's like background radiation. Also, there was always the "maybe it's just bad writing" excuse, or the "it's not my place to say but the way he writes about Judaism isn't quite like the way Jews I know talk about it" excuse. There was my (continued) inability to imagine why some white person would bother, because no amount of clout is worth what it's like to be Black on the internet. There was also probably some kind of aversion I had to the idea of losing "one of us" on here, which honestly might be something he was preying on but it's not productive for me to try to get inside the mind of someone who would do what he's done.

And if I was falling into those particular traps (around the racefaking in particular) myself, there's no way the rest of y'all could have known anything was up. Certainly not in isolation. Now I can't help but wonder if being seen interacting with me gave him some kind of legitimacy in any of your eyes, which is lowkey horrifying if true.

Anyway, those are the things I have to say now, after processing for a bit. It's still not worth my sanity to spend more than 30 seconds at a time looking at Discord, where I know a lot of this sort of thing gets discussed, but I can't help but wish I'd known about this sooner.

[inexplicifics]

I have reread the Accidental Warlord series twice and I'm looking forward to making my way through the rest of your Witcher fics. The vibe of my life has become I get home I collapse on the couch and I wave an imperious hand at my browser while saying "BRING ME ANOTHER BY INEXPLICIFICS!" And it is the highlight of my day. My cat also loves your fics because they're the only things that'll make me sit still long enough for him to curl up on my lap.

Anyways, I was having Milena de Roggeven brainrot today and I have a question: how does she keep the cats (both the cats and the Cats) of Kaer Morhen out of her sewing basket? Based on the scene in Ch4 of With Tenderness and Nobleness where Sasha's drawing a pheasant and Aiden has to resist the urge to bat at his quill, enlisting Cats to deter the cats would just give the problem opposable thumbs.

Source of this question: I've been trying to pick up embroidery and I can't practice at home because the aforementioned lap cat keeps either a) batting at my embroidery thread b) getting into my sewing basket c) trying to sit on whatever I'm embroidering or d) chewing on whatever I'm embroidering. I spend more time keeping him out of my embroidery than I do actually working on my embroidery.

I am delighted by the mental image of you lounging back and summoning forth your court bard to declaim another of my fics.

As for Milena and the cats and Cats: I think in the AWAU she doesn't currently have a pet cat, so she mostly sews in the rooms she shares with Lambert, which are at the moment catless. They are not, however, Catless, since Aiden is there a lot, and she has learned to distract him with a project of his own or a particularly badly-tangled bit of thread to untangle while she works, to prevent Unfortunate Mishaps.

I've heard sometimes people have some luck with giving their cat a small version of whatever they're doing, so they can mirror their Person? But the constant movement of a needle and thread may be too compelling to allow for distraction, so if anyone else has any ideas on how to embroider without, say, putting the cat in a bag and hanging it from a drawer handle so it can bat aimlessly at the air and look ridiculous, put 'em in the comments!

[thesiltverses]

Are you planning to explore more to do with Faulk being trans in the books? On the one hand I personally liked that it wasn't a huge deal compared to other aspects of his character but on the other hand I think it ties into his arc in some very interesting ways so I'd be really curious to get a bit more.

(also I for one would love to actually get to the see the long mundane explanation for Mason getting the crab cultists things like Regular Testosterone. The contrast between that and the supernatural elements just kills me, but also fascinates me on a thematic level—both what you talked about with Mason using these things in a manipulative way but also the aspect of like... totally definitely loving God but not actually wanting the kind of transformation your god would grant you because presumably that would be more along the lines of 'large shrimp')

I'm also curious if there's any specific cultural things around trans people in setting (aside from seemingly very low if any transphobia) or if everyone's simply much too busy worrying about other things. (I do personally appreciate the whole not having a related god given gods and body horror etc etc.)

Looking forward to whatever you do with the books and I hope you're having a good day!

Definitely yes - we're going to be spending more time in these characters' heads, but new readers are also not going to be associating specific voice actors with them, and consequently I think it would feel like a weird shying-away and exclusion not to be more upfront and in-depth about our trans protagonists from the beginning than we were in the show.

Hope you're having a good day too and thank you!

[a-babe-without-a-name]

Sit Next To Me

Chapter 6: Only For You

You had created two rules for yourself.

Rule One: You could do whatever you wanted. Get the degree you want, party when you want, cancel plans when you want, love who you want. Whatever you really wanted to do, you were going to do, anxiety and guilt free.

Rule Two: You could do whatever you wanted, except for have relationships with classmates. No sex, no dating. If they were on the same course roster as you, they were off limits.

Easy enough, right?

…Right?

Viktor x Female!Reader - 18+

A.N. I saw 'sorry this took so long' for every chapter, but this is probably the one with the biggest gap. I'm semi-sorry , semi-not because this is the longest chapter I've written so far (14.3k words). It's also 3 am, but I am determined to post. So here it is. I hope everyone loves it. Very mild content warnings on AO3. Have fun, I love you all dearly <3 (more author notes may appear in the replies)

A link to the playlist for this chapter is in the replies!

EDIT: Shout out to @cicadastoner for letting me ramble some ideas to them and figure things out.

Read on AO3

October officially ushered out the last days of summer. Replacing the sunny days with falling leaves and the excitement of a fresh semester with mid-term blues. Unlike all the past semesters, you were fairly unbothered this term. Of your courses, only Hiemerdinger’s class had an official midterm exam. The rest didn’t bother and instead continued assignments as normal. It was clear you were one of the few to be spared the anxieties. 

Viktor had gotten to class before you. You found him glaring down at the textbook in front of him and tugging his normally neat hair into a mess of cowlicks, his leg jumping like it was trying to run away from his body. As you got closer to him, you could tell that he wasn’t exactly looking at anything in particular. Just staring at the table, the muscles around his eyes twitching almost imperceptibly and the soft skin darker than you had ever seen it.

“Morning,” You said, sliding into your seat next to him, waiting for a response that didn’t come. You tilted your head at him, lips pursed, “Viktor?”

Nothing. You felt bad thinking about how pretty he looked when he was upset. The already strong lines of his face were that much more prominent, his eyes were darker, his whole demeanor more intense. He let out a shaky breath through his nose, still seemingly unaware of your presence.

“Viktor?” You asked again, then reached out and placed a firm hand on his knee, stopping the motion, “Vik?”

He sucked in a harsh breath, turning to you with wide eyes. He blinked a few times, registering where he was.

“Sorry,” He shook his head lightly, heaving a sigh before saying your name, “Goodmorning.”

“Are you okay?” You squeezed his knee, still shaking slightly, “Did you get any sleep last night?”

“Uh, yeah,” He straightened up, placing his palm over the back of your hand, “Yeah, no I didn’t, I guess, sorry.”

“You’re starting to sound like me,” You joked, laughing softly, “Sorry, sorry. What’s up? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this anxious?”

“Your American habits are rubbing off on me,” He pulled his hand away and ran it through his hair, he leaned into the back of his chair.

“Really, what’s got you all worked up?” You tried to think if he had mentioned anything coming up that would cause this reaction, “You only have the one midterm test, right? Please tell me you aren’t worried about Heimerdinger's test.”

He hesitated for a moment, picking at the edge of the table and not looking up at you, “And if I said I was?”

“Then I’d tell you that’s dumb and you are the last person that should be worried about this test,” You told him, leaning forward to try to catch his gaze. He met your eyes, seemingly unconvinced. You leaned farther into his space, hoping he believed you when you urged, “Seriously, I mean it.”

He rolled his eyes in response, but fought back a smile as he gently pushed you away, a laugh slipping past his lips, “Okay, whatever you say.”

“If you want help studying, I’m always around,” You teased, “Not like you need it, but still.”

“Well, if I need someone to tell me the wrong pages to study, I’ll keep you in mind,” He teased, smirking over at you.

“Hey, that was one time,” You pouted, face going red thinking about when you had given him the completely wrong chapter to complete homework on.

Before Viktor could reply, Jinx and Ekko arrived at the table holding two more coffees than usual.

“Good morning my lovely lab partners,” Jinx said, extra bubbly as she set the two extra cups down in front of you and Viktor, “My birthday gifts for you.”

“Happy birthday, Jinx,” You smiled up at her as you took the drink, “Thank you.”

“Happy birthday,” Viktor repeated, picking up the cup curiously, “Why do you bring us gifts?”

“Family tradition,” Jinx shrugged as she took her seat, “Spiced anise latte for you, and a cherry mocha for you.”

“Yeah, Vi will do it too, when it’s her birthday,” You told him

“Hm, that’s very sweet. Thank you, Jinx,” He lifted his own cup to his lips. 

“Of course, my gift to everyone else is going to be the best concert and after party this town has ever seen,” Dramatic as ever, “You’re coming to our show, right Vicky?”

“I’m only letting you call me that because it’s your birthday,” Viktor scolded, “Yes, I should be able to come.”

“Should?” You scoffed, hitting him lightly on the leg, “Don’t be lame, you have to come. What else would you be doing?”

He shrugged, “Studying? Working on research?”

“No way,” Ekko said, shaking his head seriously, “You have to come, you’d actually be the worst lab partner in the world if you didn’t show up.”

“Yeah, literally the worst,” Jinx nodded, equally as serious, “We might have to drop you from the group.”

“Yeah, sure.” He rolled his eyes, looking to you for backup.

“Hey, It’s my show, too,” You pointed out, poking him in the chest as you fought back a smile,  “I agree, you don’t come and you're out.”

“Fine, I’ll make sure to be there.” He laughed, waving you away from him.

“Early? And front and center?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Yes ma’am.” He nodded firmly, “It seems my grade depends on it.”

“Sure does,” You told him, glad he seemed to be relieved of his undue test worries. 

------

The rest of class was fairly calm. Jinx made sure to tell as many people as she could about the show, and the ones she liked about the party afterwards. Friday classes were lecture only and Heimerdinger reached the end of his presentation before even that allotted time was up. Everyone was grateful to be released early. As soon as he dismissed the class Jnx was up, practically dragging Ekko behind her on the way to whatever else she had going on today.

“You have plans before the show tonight?” You asked, bumping your shoulder into Viktor’s lightly as everyone filed out of the classroom.

“Other than reading the textbook front to back?” Viktor scoffed, “No.”

“Good, instead of stressing yourself out so much that you take years off your life,” You joked, “Come run some errands with me? I’m picking up a looper from someone on craigslist, and if you're with me the chances that I get human trafficked go down significantly.”

You followed him into the elevator, “Unfortunately, I do not believe I could actually protect you.”

You leaned against the wall as he hit the button for the first floor, you shrugged, “Eh, it’s more about having a witness than actually getting in a fight.” When the doors slid shut without anyone else inside, you moved closer to him. 

“Besides,” You hooked a finger into the belt loop on the back of his jeans, and pulled him flush against you. He gasped softly, looking over his shoulder as you pushed yourself into your toes and rested your chin against his shoulder. One hand was holding the back of his jeans, the other on his waist, “I’m strong enough to take care of myself.”

The curve of his throat jumped as he swallowed hard. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. You watched his face redden in real time, the tips of his ears the darkest. 

“Uh, s-so,” He tried, voice catching before he cleared his throat, “your car or mine?”

You laughed and gave him some space. By the time you reached the ground floor, you were acting innocent as ever and he looked like he had just strolled through the Red District. 

“I’ll drive,” You told him, “I’ve gotta pick up Ekko’s drums anyways, I’ll get you from your place in like thirty?”

“That is good,” He nodded, then he furrowed his eyebrows, glancing down at the ground and back at you, “Why…why did you do that?”

“Got you to stop thinking about the midterm, didn’t it?” You said innocently as you backed away from him towards the side door of the building, “Go home, I’ll see you in a minute.”

-----

You were the most grateful for Viktor coming along when you realized that your only way to reach the apartment building without having to walk a mile was to parallel park. You knew your truck front and back. You have driven practically every day since you earned your license, put thousands of miles on it. Despite this, parallel parking was not a skill in your repertoire. 

“I’m gonna be real honest with you,” You said, truck angled awkwardly half into the spot, “I don’t know how to parallel park.”

“Eh, yes, I have gathered that,” He looked nervously over his shoulder at the traffic slowing and pulling around the front of the truck.

“I’ll just, uh, yeah I’ll just find somewhere else to park,” You laughed nervously, avoiding eye contact with other drivers.

“Wait, here, just calm down,” Viktor undid his seat belt and slid across the bench seat to be next to you, “You can do this, It’s not that hard.”

“Easy for you to say,” You mutter, now overly aware how close he was.

“Hush,” He scolded, and then, “Pull out of the spot, line up with the car in front of us.”

“But I’m already half-way in?” You challenged, hands tight on the steering wheel.

“God above! Will you just do what I tell you for two seconds?” He dragged a hand down his face, voice low. Before you could answer, he grabbed the gearshift and put the car into drive, “Pull. Forward.”

You did as he asked, hoping he contributed the blush creeping up your neck to anxiety. Once you were lined up with the car in front, he let out a sigh, apparently relieved you decided to cooperate.

“Okay, good,” He reached up and put the truck into reverse, “Now back up and pull the wheel right.” You nodded, following his instructions.

“Slowly,” He told you, leaning over to look out the window, muttering half to you half to himself, “There you go, just like that.”

The tone of his voice made you bite down on your lip, grateful he wasn’t looking at you in this moment, “Is that good?”

“Almost,” He said, voice softer as he focused, “Almost there, just a little more right…good now straighten out and pull forward a little bit.”

You did and then hesitated, unsure if you were actually in the spot. He reached over and put the truck into park. 

“There, you did it,” He said leaning closer to the side of your face and huffing out a laugh, voice teasing “I thought you were an independent girl, huh?”

“Excuse you,” You scoffed at him, “I am! I just haven't gained the skill of parallel parking yet.”

  He laughed at the shrug you gave him, “Okay, well, I hope you were paying attention, because next time I’m making you do it on your own.”

You rolled your eyes at him, pulling the keys from the ignition, “Yeah, no I’ve definitely got it down now.”

That was a lie. 

You grabbed your bag and gestured for him to slide out of the truck, following him out the passenger side. The sidewalk was fairly busy, the mid-Friday crowd bustling from downtown shops to restaurants. You stuck close to Viktor, squinting around as you tried to find the right building.

“This guy was supposed to meet me down here,” You huffed, rolling your eyes, “But now apparently he’s too busy to walk down to meet us.”

“What’s the address?” He asked, looking over your shoulder as you pulled up the texts on your phone.

“890 Piltover Main, Unit Seven.” You read from the text, “We’re on the right road and I think it’s on this side.”

Viktor began walking looking at the building numbers, “890, right? This should be it.”

You followed him into an entry alcove, the address number almost completely hidden by ivy growing on the wall. You buzzed apartment seven on the intercom. It only took a moment before the door unlocked with a thunk. 

“Trusting guy,” Viktor mused, pushing open the door for you.

You shrugged, leading the way to the elevator. It was small and creaked when you both stepped inside. You exchanged a worried glance with Viktor. Any other time you would take the stairs, but you weren’t going to leave him to die in the scary elevator alone. You didn’t linger inside when the door squeaked open on the second floor. 

It wasn’t until you knocked on the door that you realized you had lost Viktor. You looked back down the hall to see him stopped in front of a frame on the wall, examining it closely. Before you could ask what he was doing the door swung open. A mid-thirties man stood in the doorway, unfortunately shirtless, an array of poorly done tattoos on display. He leaned on the doorway, cheap cologne making your eyes burn.

“Hey, uh, I’m here for the looper,” You told him, resisting the urge to scrunch your nose at the smell and ignoring the way his eyes scanned over you.

“Oh yeah, I’ve been expecting you,” He said, crossing his arms and adjusting the way he was leaning, an attempt to look more casual, “You’re late.”

“Yeah, sorry, parking was a bitch.” You said, pulling cash out of your pocket, “Twenty, right?”

“Yep,” He swiped his tongue over his bottom lip, his eyes decidedly not on your face, “You want to come in and test it?” 

“No, that’s okay.” You shook your head, glancing over to where Viktor was very unhelpfully down the hall, face close to the glass as he focused.

“Are you sure?” He asked, turning around and leaving the door open, an invitation you weren't taking.

“Vik,” You hissed when the guy was out of earshot. Viktor’s head snapped up, realizing you had gone ahead without him, you waved him over. Quickly he made his way down the hall toward you, his cane echoing each footstep on the warped wood flooring.

“Sorry,” He said, sheepishly ducking his head.

“It’s fine,” You whispered, slipping your hand into his, “but, I did bring you with me for a reason.”

You waited a moment for the man to return. He faltered when he found you still in the doorway with Viktor next to you, his eyes bouncing down to your hand in his. 

“Sorry, I thought you were behind me.” He said, eyeing Viktor like a threat. The looper in his hand.

“No worries,” You held the cash out to him casually, “Here ya go.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to come in and test it?” He asked, staring at your face, “Make sure it works right?”

“You wouldn’t offer her to test it, ” Viktor interjected, voice low as he raised an eyebrow at the man, “if you knew it didn’t work.”

“Hm, well, I could teach her how to use it.” He said, pointedly.

“I know how to use it,” You assured him, holding your hand out for the equipment, “Thanks anyways.”

When he didn’t hand it over, Viktor took the twenty out of your hand, reaching over and placing the cash in the man's free hand and firmly taking the looper out of the other.

“Pleasure doing business with you,” He said tightly, eyes narrow.

Neither of you waited for a response before turning to leave. You took the looper from him, holding it in one hand and looping your arm through his. Letting him lead you down the hall.

“I agree with Jayce,” He leaned over and whispered, “Don’t ever do this alone, please.”

“Don’t let me do it alone, then,” You told him with a shrug, “Why’d you stop anyways?”

“Blue prints,” He nodded, slowing to a stop in front of the fame he had been looking at earlier, “Old, I’m surprised it’s not kept somewhere safer.”

The blueprints were of the building you were in and the two on either side. They were indeed very old, probably original ones from when the area was first built.

“Hm, cool,” You mused, then teased him, “I’m glad you stopped to look at these instead of keeping me from being murdered.”

“I’m sorry,” He whined, following you as you hit the elevator button, “I forgot that I was to be your guard dog today.”

“If you want to be my guard dog every day,” You teased, squeezing his bicep where your hand still rested, “You won’t forget next time.”

------

The next stop was a music store. Ekko generally managed to break at least one stick during rehearsals, you predicted he’d break a couple more in the heat of the show tonight, and you had been meaning to restring your guitar for a couple weeks now. Better late than never. The store was only a few blocks from where you picked up the looper. You had offered to drive, but Viktor insisted that walking was less painful than watching you attempt to parallel park for a second time that day. Despite the dig, the short walk with Viktor was pleasant. You had reluctantly dropped your hands from his arm, but stuck close to him while you walked. Comfortably talking about nothing important. 

Inside the music store you wandered through the aisles, Viktor trailing you as you searched for the few things you had come in for. Finding the drumsticks wasn’t hard, but you quickly realized you should have asked for more specifics from Ekko on which ones to pick up for him. He had mentioned the brand, but nothing about what size or wood type to get. Even within the brand he wanted, you were left with dozens of options. You sent him a text and began reading the packaging of the sticks, hoping that would give you some idea of what to look for. 

“They’re just sticks,” You exasperated, squinting at the packaging in your hand, “This should not be so complicated.”

You set them down, deciding that you’d find the strings you needed while waiting for Ekko to text you back. When you turned, you were surprised to find that Viktor had strayed away. He was standing in front of one of the test keyboards, cane tucked under his arm and head bent as he played. You hadn’t even registered the sound until you saw him. You watched him for a moment. His hands moved with a practiced skill. Tufts of chestnut hair fell over his forehead, almost covering his eyes as he played. Every couple of measures he would close his eyes, eyebrows furrowed for a moment as he tilted his head to the side and thought about the chords as he played them, lips parted gently. You took a photo before he could notice, making a mental note to save it into the folder overflowing with candids of your friends. 

He had pushed the sleeves of his sweater up to his elbows. You moved closer, watching the muscles of his forearms flex and move as his fingers pressed against the keys. 

“I didn’t know you played,” You said as his hands came to a slow stop.

“Eh, I used to,” His shoulder lifted in a small shrug, “I don’t really anymore.”

“You’re very good,” You took another step closer, looking up at his face that was still cast down at the keys. There was the faintest line between his eyebrows, a tightness behind his eyes, “Why don’t you play anymore?”

“Have I ever mentioned I grew up Catholic?” He asked, placing his cane back against the ground and straightening up. He adjusted his weight, nudging slightly closer to you. Close enough that you had to tip your head back slightly to keep eye contact. 

“No,” You shook your head, a little surprised at the sudden information, “I didn’t know that.”

“Yep, full-blooded Roman Catholic,” He clicked his tongue against his teeth and pulled in slow breath, “Are you religious? Do you know about Catholicism?”

“No,” You shook your head, you could count the times you remember going to church on one hand, “Not really. I mean, Joan of Arc was a saint, right? That’s probably all I know.”

“Yes, Joan of Arc was indeed a saint,” He laughed softly, “The cut and dry of it is that humans are inherently sinful by nature. It’s the way we are created and we must spend every moment of our lives atoning for that.”

He scoffed, shaking his head at the ground, “We are told that we deserve the bad that happens to us. That it is our fault…and when you are nine and different, that concept is a particularly deep cut.”

His hand tightened around the handle of his cane, the smooth wood creaking slightly. You reached out without thinking, fingers circling around his wrist. You held him gently, thumb smoothing over the pulse on the inside of his wrist, urging him to relax. 

“So, instead of helplessly sitting through mass every week, I learned to play piano,” He shrugged like it was obvious, “My mother was thrilled that I was involving myself in the church, and by the time I was eleven I managed to sit at the piano every service and just…tune out. I pretended to listen, did what was asked, spent hours each week learning uninteresting melodies. All in an effort to escape the myriad of adults in my life telling me that if I served God, if I prayed hard enough, confessed my sins, I would be cured.”

He said the last word like a slur, corners of his mouth pulled down in a scowl, eyes distant. It made your heart sink. The image of him as a child, berated by religion. You resisted the urge to reach up and smooth the hurt on his face. You opted instead to move your hand up his arm, giving a gentle squeeze to the back of his forearm. The motion was enough to bring him back to the present. He sucked in a sharp breath, almost stepping back as he shook his head.

“I’m sorry,” A rueful laugh split past his lips, and he cleared his throat, “I’m sorry, you didn’t ask about that. Um, I learned to play when I was a kid for a purpose. I don’t need to play anymore, so I don’t. That’s it.”

“Hey, no, don’t apologize.” You held him where he was as he tried to move away, “Thank you for telling me that… I’m sure it’s not fun to talk about,” You scoffed lightly, knowing full well you avoided conversations about aspects of your childhood like the plague, “and I know it probably doesn’t help, but for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”

He cast a sad look down at you. Doubtful.

“Really, listen, I know you didn’t ask my opinion,” You laughed softly, squeezing his arm again, “But I think that is incredibly fucked up, and I’m sorry you had to go through that, and I’m glad that you found something to help you through it.”

He let out a huff through his nose and was chewing on the inside of his lip, clearly nervous. You could tell that he felt exposed, let himself be vulnerable without meaning to. You stepped closer and looped an arm around his waist, turning the both of you towards the piano.

“What were you playing?” You asked, hoping to set him at ease, “It was very pretty.”

“Oh, uh, it was Leoš Janáček,” He told you, tension releasing from his shoulders as you leaned into him, “He’s one of the more well known composers of Czechia.”

He played the first few notes again, slowly, “Naše večery, it’s the first piece in a piano cycle. Written around…1900 I believe.”

“Hm, it’s beautiful,” You greeted the way he relaxed into you as he played, your hand resting gently against his waist as you watched his hands move, “Naše večery…what does that mean?”

“Our Evenings,” He told you, “It would sound better on a true piano.”

“Oh, well, be careful what you wish for,” You joked, looking up at his face with a smirk on his lips, “If you find one to play at, I’ll make you play the whole cycle.”

“You have an hour to spare, just for me?” He joked, raising an eyebrow at you under his arm.

“Always,” You rolled your eyes, laughing like it was a joke. Laughing like you wouldn’t drop everything in a heartbeat for him if he asked.

A well-timed phone call prevented you from thinking too much about that fact. You didn’t move away from him when you picked it up.

“Hey, did you get them already?” Ekko’s voice asked on the other end.

“Oh, no I was waiting for you to text,” You pulled the phone away and realized he had replied, several times, “Sorry, I got distracted. Which ones do you want?”

You tried to hide your disappointment as you pulled away from Viktor. You could hear him trailing behind you as you moved back to where the sticks were. 

You grabbed the sticks he wanted (a pack of hickory, and a pair of oak to test), the strings you needed for your guitar, and a neon pink bass strap as a gift for Jinx. All the while Viktor hovered near your side, fingers brushing against your waist or the inside of your wrist. It wasn’t clear why until you reached the counter to pay. When the teenage cashier made eye contact with your chest first, you realized why Viktor hooked his arm strongly around your waist. You watched the kid take notice of Viktor’s presence, glancing away quickly as he met Viktor’s gaze. You pretend not to notice why his head stayed down for the rest of the interaction.

“Don’t tell her I said this,” You said lowly as you walked away from the counter, still firmly in Viktor’s grasp, “but you’re certainly a better guard dog than Lest.”

He made a triumphant little noise in the back of his throat and squeezed your waist as  you walked to the truck.

-----

The rest of the afternoon had been easy enough. Back at the house, Jayce helped you load Ekko’s drums and the rest of the equipment needed for tonight into the back of your truck. Viktor helped you double and triple check your list to guarantee nothing had been forgotten. At The Last Drop, Vander and Sevika had been kind enough to help you set up the stage, something you had allotted a couple hours to when you thought you’d be doing it yourself. You even had time to go all the way back to your dorm to shower and change properly. 

The stage was set. The party was ready for after. Jinx and Ekko were on time. Soundcheck went smoothly. The bar had filled up. The sky above the outdoor stage was clear. Everything was great. So great, in fact, that you hadn’t even the notion to be anxious. Not until right now.

You let out a nervous laugh, thrown off guard by the tears that pricked at your eyes and the ways your hands shook. You bent over, steading your hands against your thighs and trying to calm yourself down. You tried to focus on the lowkey sound of the opening duo. From the backside of the speakers, their acoustics were drowned out by the rumble of the large and still growing crowd in front of the stage. It filled your ears coupled with the rush of blood, making your head spin. You tried to think of the things your dad had taught you growing up. Grounding exercise to pull you out of a panic attack. It was too loud, though. You couldn't focus on the timing of each breath or your surroundings. Even in the open space behind the outdoor stage you felt caged in, like the sky was pressing into your back. 

You forced your eyes open. Focusing on what you could see in your direct vision. The hem of your skirt, first, the flowy fabric brushing against the bottom of your shins. Then your hightops, the black canvas well worn in and pen marks covering the dirty rubber. The laces were looped around your ankles, keeping them secured tighter than they needed to be. You shifted, feeling the gravel crunch beneath your soles. Dark rocks made to let water drain into the earth below instead of pooling. You reached down and picked a small one up just as a hand came to rest against the curve of your back.

“You doing okay?” It was Ekko, voice soft as he checked in.

“Huh? Oh, yeah I’m okay,” You straightened, hoping your voice was more convincing out loud than it was in your head. You realized there wasn’t a good reason to lie to Ekko of all people, “Sorry, just nerves, ya know.”

“Why?” He asked, hand falling to his side.

“Why what?” You tilted your head.

“Why are you nervous?” He prodded.

“I…I don’t know,” You shrugged, “Because I am.”

“That’s a horrible answer. Really, what do you have to be nervous about?” He scoffed before going into a laundry list, “You know the songs front to back, we’ve practiced everything a hundred times, sound check went fine, the crowd is full of our friends, and your hair looks great.”

He flipped a hand through your hair dramatically then placed both big hands on your shoulders.

“This is supposed to be fun.” He said seriously, then began shaking you around by the shoulders until you started laughing, he cracked a smile, “This. Will. Be. Fun.”

“Stop Ekko, stop!” You laughed, grabbing his wrists and trying to break free, “Fine, fine. I’m not nervous anymore, happy?”

“Good,” He slung an arm over your shoulder, weighing you down, “Because we’re on in like five minutes.”

“Fuck,” You gasped, looking towards the stage.

Before you could descend back into panic, Jinx was barreling towards you and Ekko. She threw her arms around both of you, shoving her head between yours and Ekko’s and hugging you tight enough to hurt. 

“I am so excited!” Jinx was practically vibrating as she pulled away, hands still on both of you, “This is going to be so fun!”

Jinx thrived on adrenaline. Her energy was overpowering. It was impossible to not let it infect you, something you were glad for. You felt the nervous energy leech from your bones. A shaky excitement taking its place. 

“You ready?” Ekko asked her, unwinding himself from your side and playing his hands on her shoulders, she nodded eagerly, “You have picks in your pocket?”

She reached into the pocket of her pants and pulled out an absurd amount of picks. You honestly wouldn’t be surprised if she managed to go through most of them during the show. Ekko nodded affirmingly then pulled her into his chest, strong arms flexing as he held her tight, speaking just to her. 

You smiled fondly at the couple and moved away to get yourself ready. Your freshly restringed guitar was waiting on the stage. You had picks in your pocket. Your water was filled. You had eaten. Your shoes were tied. You were physically as ready as you could be.

‘This will be fun,’ you told yourself. You loved playing, especially with Jinx and Ekko. Performing wasn’t necessarily your favorite thing in the world, but you had a good time during your few shows over the  summer. Your friends were right in the front. Jayce and Mel and Lest and…and Viktor. You realized that the thought of him watching you made you nervous. What a stupid feeling to have. What a childish feeling to have. Nervous about doing something in front of a boy like you were 14 or something. He had already seen you play. Multiple times, even. Him and Jayce frequently set up in the garage while you and the others rehearsed. 

Even early today he had twirled calmly on a stool in the garage, watching you intently as you tested the second hand loop pedal. He had never given you a reason to be nervous under his eyes. Still, you wondered what he would think seeing you actually on stage. Would he think you looked awkward? Uncomfortable and out of place on stage. Maybe you’d be too stiff, or too loose even. You wanted to claw your hair out. Before you could dwell on the idea any longer, Jinx grabbed you by the hand, dragging you quickly to the stage stairs.

“Ready? She asked, eyes glowing.

You took a heavy breath, twisting your sneaker into the gravel to ground yourself. You gave a nod and a smile that you hoped didn’t look forced, “As we’ll ever be.”

The opener bounced off stage, wishing Jinx a happy birthday and the rest of you good luck. Jinx went first onto stage, you and Ekko only a few steps behind her. She was on the mic in an instant. You vaguely listened to her as you set up your guitar, grateful for the moments it took to plug into the amp and test the strings. You took a few deep breaths, checking that the setlist and equipment around your feet were still secured down before glancing up. The crowd was luckily obscured past the first ten feet, the lights on you not giving you much visibility. You did catch sight of your friends, right where they said they’d be in the front row. Viktor was between Lest and Jayce, watching you. You blinked at him, giving a weak smile. He gave a strong one in return, all pretty teeth and encouragement. You were surprised how much it put you at ease. You let out a heavy breath and felt yourself relax again, in a way that you were sure would last. 

You glanced over to Jinx, tuning in as you adjusted the height of your mic. 

“Just in case you don’t know,” Jinx said to the crowd, bass held around her neck by the new strap you had bought her,  “Today is my twenty-first fucking birthday!”

The crowd cheered for her. Shouts of ‘happy birthdays’ and dramatic ‘we love yous’ thrown her way. You laughed as she basked in the attention, falsely waving them away.

“And to celebrate that!” Jinx said into the mic, then paused to lean down to one of the amps, pulling out three sealed plastic cups. She went back to the mic, “With the company of my beautiful bandmates, I’m gonna do my first shot.” Then lower away from the mic, “legally.”

Ekko climbed down from his drum platform, letting Jinx hand him one of the premade shots before she bounded over to give you yours. It was one of those twisted shots, blue and pink liquor separated by a swirl of plastic. 

“A pornstar shot, really?” You laughed into the mic, looking over at Jinx.

“Hey! They’re pink and blue!” Jinx defended, also speaking into the mic, letting the conversation be part of the performance, “I’ve gotta stay on brand.”

You shrugged in agreement, peeling off the foil top and sniffing it experimentally. They brought back freshman year memories of dorm parties and running around campus in the dark. Jinx settled next to you, slightly in front to keep from hitting you with the neck of her bass. 

She lifted her shot, you and ekko mimicking the motion, “To a good show and an after party none of us remember,” The crowd in front of you lifted whatever drinks they had as the three of you downed the shots. The overly sweet alcohol made your nose burn. Jinx laughed, taking in the cheers as the three of you retake your proper spots on stage.

“Now let’s get this show fucking started,” Jinx plucked a few strings on her bass, testing the sound. She looked over to you and when you gave a confirming nod, she gave the same look to Ekko. He set the tempo on the drum for a few beats, counting down verbally before you and Jinx joined in. Together playing the opening to Darla by Vundabar.

Once your hands were on the strings and the chords poured from the speaker towards the crowd, any worry you had was gone. You felt light, high almost, as you played. Moving around to the beat of the song, mouthing half the lyrics to yourself as Jinx sang them.

After the first song, all three of you were in it. Any drop of uncertainty leaching out with the sweat on your skin as you played. It was easy, you floated through the setlist, hands knowing the chords and timing perfectly. You played and sang your back up vocals, taking control of a full verse here and there. It wasn’t until the middle of the set that the attention was fully on you. An almost original song. A derivative work technically, lyrics written by Ekko set to a slightly altered composition of a Dystopia song.

Jinx was in love with this one, she had coaxed her dad into letting her play with the lighting just a little bit. The light dimmed slowly as you set for the song, adjusting settings on amps and Ekko preparing extra sticks. You plucked a cigarette out of the pack in your pocket, placing it in your lips as you crouched down on the edge of the stage. Right in front of Viktor.

You didn’t say anything, just rested your guitar in your lap and let the bottom of your skirt pool against the ground around you. You didn’t need to search for eye contact, it was there in an instant. Only seconds later when he was stepping closer and holding a flame up to you. You didn’t look away from him when you took the drag and blew the smoke down to his face.

Without so much as a word you stood back to the audience as the lights reached their end, only blue spotlights on you, Jinx, and Ekko remaining. The chords rang out exactly as you had wanted them, low and haunting as Ekko shimmered the cymbals of his set. This was your favorite song to play. Your favorite to practice, to show off to people. 

It felt good to play it in front of everyone. Felt better knowing how you were playing in front of him.

------

That feeling carried you to the end of the show. Carried you even when Viktor politely moved to the bar at the back of the crowd to lean against a stool. He gave a reassuring wave from where he sat, knuckles pressing into his thigh. Carried you through breakdown, carried you to your truck packed with gear, carried you to the Rune Street house where the boys unloaded you truck while you changed in Cait’s room. 

Carried you until you finally stopped moving. You leaned against the kitchen sink, body heavy as you sipped at a solo cup of tap water. You took slow breaths, staring at a spot on the floor as you tried to bring yourself back up from the ground. The excited and already intoxicated people around you did nothing to help. You stayed in the twilight zone until a pale hand waved in front of your face. 

“Visiting another universe tonight?” Viktor asked as you snapped your head up to look at him.

“Sorry,” You shook your head, blinking like you had just woken from sleep, “Sorry, I just…zoned out.”

“Hm, well welcome back,” He laughed softly, moving closer to you as someone tried to squeeze around his back to get through the kitchen. He stayed close even when the person was gone, he even leaned in further. Shouting over the music,  “You did great tonight. You played incredibly.”

“Thank you, that’s very sweet,” You smiled up at him, still feeling weak.

He caught on quickly, steadying a hand on your shoulder, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” You tried to wave it off, he narrowed his eyes at you, “I’m just tired is all, kinda crashing.”

“That’s reasonable,” He frowned, then pulled away, just enough to fish a silver key from his pocket and hold it out to you, “My room is the only one that locks, you can crash in there for a bit if you’d like.”

It was a tempting offer, but you knew if you tried to sleep now you’d be out until morning, “I’m okay,” You told him, “I wanna hang, just gotta power through.”

“Well in that case,” 

He put the key back in his pocket and reached past you, grabbing a cup from the stack and setting it on the counter next to the fridge. He took your cup from your hands and dumped the water out, setting it next to his. You were finally taking him in now. Too spaced to notice his wardrobe change post-show. Jinx’s party was rave themed, the music and lights and outfits all reflecting this. 

Apparently, Viktor was not excluded. You remembered Ekko offering his close to Jayce and Viktor, his style being that of someone who actually went to raves. This was not what you had expected, though. Viktor, who only ever wore the most reserved of outfits, was in jeans that were purposefully too big, except for where they rested between his hips and waist. Cut outs in the side, just below the belt line, showed off completely the line and curve of his narrow hips. Pale skin practically glowing in the light of the fridge as Viktor opened it. It was cut in such a way that there was no chance he was wearing anything underneath the jeans. And almost more jarring was the fact that Viktor was wearing a crop top. The fairly normal t-shirt came to a harsh stop right at his navel, showing off the softest of happy trails and curve of muscle. You had seen him undressed before. You’ve seen him in less clothing than this even, at the coast. Nothing you were witnessing was new to you, but there was just something about it. About how intentional every bare inch was. 

You glanced away harshley, realizing you were very obviously staring at his body as he rummaged around in the fridge. He pulled out two narrow cans and set them on the counter. You picked one up, the cold condensation biting at your hand.

“Red Bull?” You asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Patience,” He scolded, grabbing the can and setting it back down on the counter. 

He slid open the freezer drawer and moved things around, pulling a glass bottle out from underneath an ancient bag of frozen vegetables. He set it to the side, the clear liquor inside reflecting the lights in the room. All the labeling was in Czech. He dumped the energy drinks into the cups and then twisted the cap of the liquor with a satisfying pop.

“Don’t tell anyone I let you have this,” He told you, pouring a hearty shot into his cup, “They’ll make me share with them too.”

“Oh, so I’m special?” You joked, he gave you a look that very loudly screamed well, obviously. He paused to size you up for a moment, and came to the conclusion that half a shot would do. You scoffed, “Hey, I’m not a lightweight.”

“Eh, maybe not,” He said, “But this is not American liquor, and you are not a European woman.”

“Would you prefer I was?” You joked, rolling your eyes as he added another splash to his own drink before recorking it. 

“Of course not,” He held the cup out to you, “Na zdravi!”

You bit back a smile when you repeated the words and tapped the edge of your cup against his. He watched you hesitantly, cup hovering near his lips as he waited for you to take a sip. When you did, you were admittedly surprised at the strength of the small shot. You were even more surprised at the amount that he had poured into his own cup. 

“Christ, Vik,” You gasped, trying not to flinch at the burn, “You’re gonna go blind.”

“See, I told you” He laughed, taking a sip of his own drink with ease, “Only a small amount for the American. If it’s too much I can add more Red Bull.”

“No, it’s good,” You sipped again, taking the liquor better now that you were ready for it, “Thank you for being my bartender tonight,”

“What, no tip?” He teased, smirking down at you.

“Unfortunately, these shorts leave no space for my wallet,” You ran a hand over the side of the tight silvery shorts you had changed into. So tight you had even foregone underwear beneath them, “Next time.”

“I’m sure,” He leaned in to avoid shouting as the music and crowd became louder, he reached out and ran a finger over the waistband of the shorts, “I mean, I’m sure a few dollar bills could fit here, no?” His hand dropped lower down your side, fingertips brushing against the top of your thigh high socks, “Maybe here even?”

You slapped his hand away, “Not nice to imply I’m a stripper,” You pouted as he laughed and waved a hand in front of himself defensively.

“I kid, I swear,” He assured, “Where did you even get these clothes anyways?”

“It’s October in America, baby,” You laughed, “there's a halloween store taking up residence in every empty building in the country right now.”

“Yes, I forget about the holiday here,” He shrugged, “It’s not a large thing in Czechia.”

“Yeah, I know, Europe is lame like that,” You joked, turning your nose up.

“Is that so,” He questioned, then reached out to take your drink from you, “Then I guess you don’t like the European liquor if it’s so lame then…”

“Wait no,” You giggled, trying to reach for the cup as he held it away from you, “No I lied, I swear.”

He laughed and relinquished the cup back to you. You gratefully took another sip, holding eye contact with him to prove you liked it. 

“That’s what I thought.” He leaned back against the fridge, “Tell me if you want another,”

You nodded, then reached out and tugged the high hem of his shirt, “I like this, by the way, suits you.”

“Hm, that so?” You asked, dipping his chin to examine his own outfit, “I tried for something a little more low-key, but Jayce wasn’t having it.”

“Ah, I imagine he’s dressed even sluttier?” You barked a laugh.

“Oh of course,” Viktor nodded with wide eyes, “are you saying I’m a slut?”

“No, of course not,” You shrugged, “Just that you are dressed like a slut.”

“I don't think it’s that slutty,” He looked down at his outfit, again.

“What’s this then?” You slid a hand down his side, gripping his bare hip where t was exposed by the cutout, “This is pretty slutty, especially for a man.”

“And what’s your opinion of that?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Of what?”

“Of slutty men?” His eyes darkened, “Is that something you enjoy?”

“Who doesn’t,” You said innocently, taking another sip in hopes of hiding your blush.

“Hm, good to know,” He hummed, a smirk pulling at the corners of his lips. He leaned in just a touch more, mouth open to continue his sentence when Jayce was suddenly right next to you, a hand on Viktor’s shoulder.

The intrusion made you jump, nearly spilling your drink as you flinched away.

“Hey, oh sorry,” Jayce said, realizing he had barged in. He was wasted already, pretty cheeks already flushed red. He was indeed somehow dressed sluttier than Viktor. A mesh top and chaps of all things, underneath only a pair of shimmery shorts, almost as tight as yours. 

“What did I say?” Viktor laughed, looking down at you, you just widened your eyes in agreement.

“Huh?” Jayce tilted his head at the two of you.

“Nothing,” Viktor waved him off, “What’s up?”

“We need another person for beer pong,” Jayce told you both, “Are either of you down?”

You looked down at the still mostly full and very strong drink in your hand, “I’ll pass for now, maybe later if you guys play another round.”

“I’ll go,” Viktor told him with a shrug.

“Good,” Jayce clapped him on the shoulder, “You can be Sky’s partner.”

That twisted something in your chest, but you forced it away as you took another drink. Viktor just nodded and went to follow Jayce towards where the table was set up in the garage. He turned back to you when he realized you weren’t following.

“Are you not coming?” He tilted his head.

“No, it’s okay, I should probably go find Lest, actually,” You told him, trying to act casual, “You go, though, Defeat Jayce in my honor. I’ll find you later.”

“Okay,” He frowned slightly, hesitating before turning away to follow Jayce. 

You watched him walk away, doing your bets to look unbothered. Even with him out of your proximity, the heat still lingered. You shoved your hand under the ice dispenser of the fridge, catching a cube and popping it into your mouth before wandering to the living room. You wanted to dance with Lest, or grind up against a stranger, anything to get him off your mind.

----

Hours later, when you became bored of fending off freshman boys on the dance floor, you found yourself watching Viktor from across the room like a fucking creep. You knew you were and you couldn’t help it. He looked great. In that stupid fucking crop top and insufferable pair of borrowed jeans. He looked great and so did Sky. She looked great in the electric blue outfit you had helped her pick out. She looked great laughing and fanning her alcohol warmed cheeks. 

She looked great with her hands all over Viktor. Playing with his neat hair. Rubbing a hand over his shoulder. Leaning half way on top of him every time she laughed.

The spot on Viktor’s other side was empty. You could claim it easily. Insert yourself into their conversation or, most likely, pull his attention completely to you. You could sideline her in an instant. 

You had officially fucking lost it. You couldn’t believe you were pouting against the wall at a party. Face half hidden behind your cup, pretending to sip your sad mixture of three parts american vodka one part flat orange crush. Unrightfully angry at one of your closest friends. 

She’d be fine, though. There were plenty of men who’d jump at the chance to sweep her off her feet, take her virginity, and propose before graduation. Why did she need to be so focused on him? Was she blind? Viktor was obsessed with you and you knew it. You had tried to discourage him at first. Some point since then and now, you had succumbed to the idea that you were just waiting for eachother. Well, more of him, waiting for you, but still. You couldn't break your composure, not even for someone like him. 

Your ankles twitched, your angry body coaxing your drunk brain into a rash decision.

You couldn’t. It would be too obvious. Too fucking mean, like anything about this wasn’t already. You couldn't force it. He had to come to you. You could at least give him the option.

You brushed your fingertips against the side of your ear, ensuring that the cigarette you had tucked there earlier hadn't disappeared. You sent an innocent enough text - cig out back? - and walked out the back door before you could see him open the message. The ball was in his court now. You weren’t going to control him and he could make whatever decision he felt like. If he didn’t come, then you’d get a whole cigarette to yourself. A win-win situation, really. 

Outside the sky was still dripping. The storm that had started shortly after the party and hadn’t really let up until now. The backyard was completely barren, everyone still crowded into the house and garage to keep out of the rain. You rounded the side of the house, opting to let the cool wet air clear away the stickiness from inside. You had barely rested your back against the siding when your name was being hissed into the dark. 

“Over here,” You beckoned Viktor over to your corner of the yard.

You didn't need a whole cigarette anyways.

“Got a light?” You asked as he settled next to you, shoulder pressing to yours. 

Wordlessly he pulled one from his pocket, holding the flame out in front of you. You pressed the cigarette to your lips and lent towards him. Eyes fell shut as you pulled the flame in, smoke filling your lungs. 

“Where have you been?” You asked, smoke burning your nose as you exhaled and passed him the cigarette, “I’ve been looking for you.”

“Around,” He shrugged, taking the cigarette and bumping his shoulder against yours with a smirk,  “You have been looking for me?”

“Shut up,” You muttered, hitting the back of your hand against his bare stomach.

“Ah, milá ,” He sighed, cigarette hanging from his lip as he grabbed your arm and pulled you to stand in front of him, “Jsi legrační dívka,”

His hands came to rest on the small of your back. You leaned against him, stealing back the cigarette from his mouth and taking a drag. He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, eyes on your lips.

“Are you drunk?” You asked him, taking a quick drag and holding the cigarette between you for him to take.

“Eh, a little,” He blew smoke out of his nose. Hot. “Me and Jayce smoked earlier, but the high is fading. You?”

“Also a little,” You told him, reaching up to touch his face. You ghosted a fingertip over the mark above his lip. So pretty. So inviting. 

You were drunk…enough. It didn’t count if you were drunk.

Your hand moved to his jaw and pulled him towards you, lips brushing against his softly. Tonight he chose you over Sky. Like you knew he would. The guilt was discarded as quickly as the half smoked cigarette when he pulled you closer. He wrapped his arms around your waist, holding your flush to him as his mouth crashed against yours harder. You looped your arms over his shoulders, hands fisting into the back of his shirt as your lips parted. He didn’t waste the invitation, tongue pushing into your mouth with a gasp. He tasted like caffeine and tobacco and himself. Your head spun as he kissed you. His teeth pulled at your lower lip, eliciting a whine you hadn’t expected.

“Ah, fuck,” He panted, breaking away to beath. His hands slid down to grab your ass, pressing you harder against him. You could feel how hard he was already, heavy cock pressing against your lower stomach, “You’ll kill me one of these days.”

“No,” You laughed softly, licking his lips playfully, “I’d like to keep you around for a while, Pretty Boy.”

He groaned at the pet name, hips rutting up again just slightly. You moved one hand down his chest, reaching the bottom of the cropped shirt he wore and slipping underneath. You raked your nails over his stomach, delighted at the shudder you could feel in his shoulders. You buried your other hand in the hair at the back of his neck, holding him still as you kissed him again. Part of you hated how perfectly you fit together. How the shape of his nose pressed into your cheek exactly as it should. How his lips slotted against yours like they were made for you. How he was the perfect height to kiss you. How his hands were the perfect size to hold you. It made everything difficult having him so easily. 

He wanted to be slow the first time, but he was clearly in a different mood tonight. You could barely breathe with how deep he kissed you. His tongue so wonderfully strong against yours, against your teeth and lips. The noises he made in the back of his throat went straight to the heat between your legs. You wanted to hear more. 

You tighten the hand in his hair, fisting the chestnut strands and yanking his head back, rough but not enough to hurt. He gasped, breathing heavy as he let you ruin his hair.

“So good for me,” You purred, clamping your teeth down on the spot below his jaw, tongue smoothing over it a moment after.

“Only for you,” He muttered, voice barely there, “God, only for fucking you.”

“Fuck,” You smiled, licking from the collar of his shirt up to his chin, “God you taste so fucking good. Wanna taste all of you,”

You resisted the urge to suck a love bite into his neck as you pressed yourself against him harder, canting your hips just enough to make him hiss, “Let me taste you, baby?”

“F-fuck,” He shuddered, flinching as your cold fingers brushed against the skin exposed by the cutouts in the side of the jeans. The skin you had been eyeing all night. The cutouts you had already expressed your admiration for. 

“Please Vik,” You practically begged as you mouthed at his neck, hands flatting against his hips, fingers under the edge of the denim, “Let me get on my knees for you.”

“God, fuck,” He whimpered, dropping his head to pull you into another kiss, “Are you sure? You don’t have to.”

“I don’t have to do anything,” You laughed against his lips, hands moving to the sides of his face. His heavy lidded eyes met yours, pupils blown wide, “I want to. I want you in my throat.”

He couldn’t help the sound that slipped past his lips, desperate and wanting as he dropped his head into your neck, muffling the sound against your hair. 

“Ano. Ano, kurvo ano,” He panted, you had been friends with him long enough to not need a translation.

“Good boy,” You said, mouth next to his ear, “Lean back for me.”

You left open mouthed kisses down his throat, palming him through his jeans. When you couldn’t reach any more of his skin from the position you were in, you slid to your knees. The wet grass soaked the knees of your socks. You looked up at him through your eyelashes, enjoying the fucked out look on his face. You hadn’t even touched him yet he was already flushed and trembling in front of you. You loved it.

You pressed a kiss to the skin exposed on his hips, your hand on the other side. You licked at his soft skin, thrilled to find the presence of slight moles hiding there. You bit down hard enough to leave a mark, Viktor’s hips canted forward, apologies spilling past his lips. You ignored him, your hands rubbing over his hips to grip his ass and then rub down his legs. Your palm caught on the ridge of his brace. Hidden completely under his jeans, you had all but forgotten it. 

You ran your hand up his leg gently, sitting back slightly to look at him softly, “Are you okay like this? Are you hurting?”

“I am alright, milá,” Voice gentle even as he panted heavily, hand reaching out to cup your face, “I’m perfectly good.”

You couldn’t help but to lean into his touch, humming against his palm, “You’ll tell me if this doesn’t work, yeah?”

“Promise?” You asked leaning past his hand and pressed your cheek to his front. You could feel him twitch against your face. You breathed him in, the heady scent making your thighs tense.

“I promise,” His voice came out strained and breathy.

It was enough to break you. You pulled back enough to unzip his jeans and shimmy them a couple inches down. You pulled him out, cock heavy and leaking in your hands. You hummed to yourself, admiring him. You had forgotten exactly what he looked like, but you were surprised how big and pretty he was. He was more worked up now than last time, entire cock a pretty shade of pink that darkened gradually up to his tip. You looked up, watching him as you dragged your thumb over his tip, spreading precum and getting more to drip as he twitched. He gasped, chin dropping to his chest as he tried to keep himself up right. You used the slick to coat your hand and slide your fist down his shaft, watching as his whole body flinched at the feeling. He was clay in your hands, trusting you to handle him.

You parted your lips, still watching intently as you gave an experimental lick to the tip of his cock. You couldn’t have dreamed of this noise he made, shocked and desperate and shaky as you dipped down and licked a broad strip along the veins on the underside. You used the point of your tongue to tease the base of his head, swirling over the crease there. His hands fisted at his sides, barely able to keep his eyes open as you tasted him. And he tasted heavenly. Sweet and bitter at the same time, and like his lips, very much like him. 

You were sure he could have come from just the sight of you holding his head against your flat tongue, catching pearls of cum from his weeping tip. When you closed your lips round him, he was loud. He sucked in a sharp breath, groaning heavy at the feeling of your warm mouth around just a small part of him. His hand flew to his mouth, trying to hold back the sounds.

You pulled off, making him whine as you pouted up at him, “I want to hear you. Please Vik, please let me hear you.”

“Fuck, we’re outside,” He panted, glancing towards the fence that faced the front of the house.

“It’s fine,” You urged, “Please, baby I promise. Everyone is inside, no one’s gonna hear you.”

Before he could respond, you wrapped your lips around him again, this time pushing on to him until he was almost to your back teeth. He cried out, stomach muscles tensing as you hollow your cheeks around him, releasing the tension with a gente pop.

“Oh fuck, milá,” His hands flexing at his sides.

You hummed around him, corners of your mouth turned up in as much of a smile as you could do. The vibration of your throat sent him shaking again. Fingers twitching just next to your head.

“Sensitive are we?” You pulled off and teased, one hand moving steadily up and down, the other cupping his balls, “You can grab my hair, just don’t push on me, okay?”

“Are you sure,” Hesitation hid behind the eagerness, all nerves about hurting you.

“Yes, Pretty Boy,” You breathed, lips ghosting over his cock again, “I trust you.”

Genty he gathered your hair into his fist, holding the strands back from your face. The tension on your scalp grew when you pulled him as far into your throat as you could. You took steady breaths through your nose, unable to help the moans that pushed out of your lungs at the feeling of him twitching just for you. You moved your tongue over him, eyelids fluttering shut at the feeling of his precum dripping down the back of your throat. You steadied yourself against his good leg, a hand wrapped around the back of his thigh as you began to move, your other hand gliding over what you couldn’t fit in your mouth. He did as you asked, hand tangled in your hair, but not controlling your movements. 

You studied him. Taking note of how he reacted to each movement, each slight gag around his cock, each flick of your tongue. The best noises came from when you took as much of him as you could and sucked around him, head moving only slightly. He gasped, uttering nonsense and curses and your name as he basked in the feeling. You wanted more and pulled him farther in in search of it, tears welling in your eyes as he reached the complete back of your throat. You steadied yourself, taking a moment to adjust before swallowing around him.

This made him cry out, knees almost buckling and hips rutting up involuntarily. He cursed, eyes wide as he apologized. You waved him off with a hum, swallowing again before you began to bob your head. You let your eyes fall shut, focusing on the weight of him in your throat and the sounds he was making above you. You could feel the tension in his muscles build under your hand on his leg. He was so close. Just a few motions away. You weren’t done, though.

With gasp you pulled off, circling your fingers just under the head of his cock. Forcing him away from the edge. You panted, pulling in more oxygen than through your nose.

“Ah, fuck. Why?” He whimpered, sounding like he could cry.

“Trust me, Vik,” You assured, pressing your cheek to the top of his thigh and looking up through your lashes, “It’s gonna feel so good, just be patient for me, baby.”

“God, you’re so fucking beautful,” He reached down, brushing a thumb under your eye where yur mascara was blurring.

“You’re sweet,” You hummed, pressing your lips to the base of his cock, mouthing at him as your hand stroked over him again, “So good for me.”

You raised your hand, lifting him enough for you to have access to lick over his balls. He groaned at the feeling and you heard a soft thud as he dropped his head back against the wall. You replaced your mouth with your hand, gently squeezing him in time with the thrust of your hand. You licked up from the base to tip, not wasting time in bringing him back between your lips. 

Velvet, you realized. His skin felt like velvet under your tongue. You moaned around him, pressing your thighs together as you sank further unto him. You picked up your pace, making obscene sounds as you moved up and down his length. You had wanted to go slow at first, but this pace was for you, too. You couldn’t help it. You chased his release with an eager tongue, anticipating him.

“Ah, I’m close, Lasko,” He gasped, hips twitching in the tiniest of bucks, not letting himself get too carried away. His hand tightened in your hair, trying to pull you off before he came.

You made a noise of protest, pushing him to the back of your throat again and looking up at. Eyes narrowed as you made clear what you wanted.

“Oh fuck,” His voice was thick with a mix of his accent and lust. He let you grab his hand, braced against his stomach as you began to move again, “You are heaven sent.”

His jaw hung open as you continued the pace, slowing down every couple of thrusts to swallow around his tip. He took short strained breaths as you pulled him closer and closer. Pitch of his voice canting up as he moaned, the whimpers that slipped past his lips making your own wetness pool between your legs. 

He cried out as he finally came, whole body tense as you slowed your movements. You held him in the perfect place in your mouth, cum painting the back of your throat and mixing with spit on your tongue. You groaned, breathing heavy through your nose as you took everything he had to give. The taste was addictive, you could've stayed here forever on your knees, his slightly bitter cum filling your mouth. 

Eventually, Viktor hissed in near pain. The feeling of your warm mouth around his oversensitive cock too much to handle. Gently he tugged on your hair, coaxing you off him.

“Come here,” He held your arm steady as you stood on shaking legs, your knees aching from holding your weight for so long. 

“Was that good?” You asked like you didn’t already know the answer, pulling you swollen bottom lip between your teeth.

“There is a special place for you in heaven,” He told you, hands grasping the sides of your face and forehead dropping to yours. You could feel the cool sheen of sweat over his body, it made the short hair curl where you played with it at the base of his neck.

“Hm, so sweet to me,” You cooed, reaching down and tucking him away gently, deciding it probably wasn’t a great idea for him to just hang around with his dick out. 

He tilted his chin, catching your lips with his. His tongue pushed into your mouth where he surely tasted himself. He let out a shaky breath against your mouth, lips pulled back but tongue still pressed against yours. He kissed you deep, hands moving down to your waist pulling you flush against him as he practically ate out your mouth.

You let the sounds you were making go, letting him hear how he made you feel. Without warning, he gripped you tight and spun you around, pressing your back to the house. He braced his weight with one arm against the wall behind you. He was still licking into your mouth as the other hand dropped between your bodies. He pushed his hand past the waistband of your shorts, cold fingers making you gasp as they came in contact with your cunt. 

“Oh, fuck, Vik,” You keened, jaw dropping as he slid his hand further into your shorts, fingers teasing at your entance before retreating back to your clit. 

Careful he pulled his arm off the wall, gently smearing away the ruined makeup beneath your eyes. He dropped his forehead to yours, breathing in every pant you gave, watching you intently as you gasped and rutted your hips into his hand. He moved his arm back to the wall, steading himself for you as he pressed two long fingers in, curling them in a way that made you see white. 

“So fucking wet,” He breathed, eyes barley open, “soaked just from sucking my cock, God so fucking dirty.”

You whimpered, one hand holding onto his arm above your shoulders, fingers surely bruising his flesh where you pressed. The other hand fisted in the back of his hair, pulling him close enough to kiss. You tried to muffle yourself with his lips, moaning directly into his mouth, biting down on his lip when you felt yourself getting louder.

“Hm, not fair,” He scolded, realizing what you were doing, “Let me hear you. Only sound I ever need to hear again.”

Oh, how you loved incoherent orgasm induced poetry. 

He dragged his fingers in and out of you at a teasing pace, his thumb pressed to your clit. Each tiny motion of his hand brought you closer and closer. His name tumbled from your lips, everything about him clouding your cells. 

You almost didn’t hear the slide of the back door.

You gasped pulling away from him with wide eyes, head smacking against the siding as you did so. The hand on the wall cupped the back of your head, holding the sore spot you caused yourself. The other retreated swiftly, the heel of his hand resting against your waist, sure to keep his soaked fingers from ruining your clothes. You blinked at him, trying to calm your breathing enough to hear. Behind your pulse you heard footsteps on the wooden deck, they stopped right before the stairs. You hadn’t realized until now that the air was cold enough to see your breath. His and yours formed a cloud between you, white condensation huffed from your lungs as you waited.

Lest’s voice shouting your name into the dark made your heart sink. You loved her, but right now you could kill her.

Reluctantly, Viktor stepped away from you, dry hand steadying your waist. You grabbed the other, pulling his fingers up to your lips and hastily licking yourself off them. He swallowed hard, then surged forward, kissing you through his hand, tongue running between his fingers and against yours. 

He pulled away, wiping his spit covered hand against his jeans as you adjusted your clothes. Your name rang again from the porch, you could hear the creak of the top step. You glanced down at yourself and shrugged. Disheveled for sure, but it’d have to be good enough.

You grabbed Viktor by the chin, thumb brushing over his bottom lip, “Catch you later, Pretty Boy.”

You pressed a quick kiss to his open lips and darted away. Shaking out your hair and continuing to adjust your clothes as you went to Lest. She shouted your name a third time.

“Yeah, I’m coming!” You told her, picking up your pace.

‘If only’, you thought, frowning to yourself.

-----

At some point, you realized you were done. No amount of vodka redbulls or dancing or drinking games were gonna keep you on your feet. The party was still thriving well past the hours when it would normally end. You were coming down from everything and needed to be somewhere that wasn’t a hot sticky crowded house. 

You wandered to the front porch. The rain had stopped, but the air was just as cool as earlier. You sank down to sit on the edge of the stairs, the rough concrete catching on the fabric of your shorts. You pulled your knees up and leaned back on your palm, basking in the cool air and watching as the moon slowly came in and out of view behind the clouds. The muffled sound of music and people was relaxing. You liked the feeling of disconnecting, but still being nearby. 

You stayed like that for who knows how long, letting goosebumps crawl up your sore thighs and arms. Breathing slowly and occasionally moving out of the way for the few people that came in and out through the front door. You closed your eyes, leaning back and paying no mind when the door opened once again, music growing loud for a second before it was once again muffled.

“You’ll catch your death out here,” Viktor’s accent told you, you laughed softly at the phrasing, “Are you not freezing?”

“Hm, I’m cold, but not freezing,” You told him, not opening your eyes until you felt a jacket being placed over your shoulders, you snorted a laugh, “Thank you.”

“Hm, you should take better care of yourself,” He said, sitting down next to you, using his cane to lower himself slowly, “We have a big project next week, it’ll suck to be down a person,”

“How thoughtful,” You rolled your eyes and sat up next to him, knees closer to your chest.

“Any time, milá,” He muttered what you were beginning to recognize as a pet name in his native language, “Anytime.”

You leaned into him, resting your head on his shoulder. With his jacket over you and him this close, you were dizzy with the smell of him. Obsessed with it.

“Are you feeling alright?” He asked, taking your hand from where it rested in your lap. He pressed his thumb into your palm, long fingers moving against yours, brushing against the newly forming calluses on your fingertips, “Why are you out here all alone?”

“Just wanted to be alone,” You told him, closing your eyes and leaning into him further.

“Would you like me to leave?” He asked, sincere and unoffended.

You grabbed his hand, holding it tight as you shook your head against him, “No, please don’t.”

He didn’t need any more convincing than that. He slid slightly closer, the side of his body pressing to yours. He gently pulled his hand from yours, sliding his arm to your back, hand resting at the nape of your neck as he brushed his fingers through the fine hair there. You hummed, pressing closer to him, nearly overwhelmed with how nice it felt to be next to him like this.

“Can I tell you something?” He asked, voice slightly hesitant as he broke the comfortable silence.

“Of course,” You’d like him to tell you everything.

“Sky asked me out yesterday,” He said it quietly but quickly, you tried not to react but you knew he could feel the way you tensed.

“I’m not surprised,” You told him, forcing yourself to sit up and look at his face, “What did you tell her?”

You hoped your face didn’t give away too much. He could go out with Sky if he wanted. You and him were not technically together. Sharing liquor and drunk blowjobs didn’t count as a relationship.

“I…I told her I’d get back to her,” He flinched at his own words, guilt creasing his pretty face, “Which is an absolute dick move, but I panicked.”

“Well, if you like her,” You shrugged like it didn’t matter, “then you should go out with her. There’s no reason not to.” 

He frowned, chewing on the inside of his lip, “And if I don’t like her?”

“Then why would you go on a date with her?” If stung. Like it was an option. Of course it was an option, you knew that, you didn’t have any right to be upset with him.

He huffed, “You are making this difficult,”

“Viktor, I can not make decisions for you,” You told him sternly, not upset with him, just frustrated.

“I know, I’m sorry,” He shook his head, scoffing a laugh, “I shouldn’t have said that. Forget I said anything, I’ll handle it.”

You were pretty sure you knew what that meant. You did understand where he was coming from. Getting asked out by someone you weren't interested in was tough, even more so when that person was a friend. 

“Good,” You nodded, and leaned back into him, tone turned teasing, “now will you stop trying to ruin the moment, this feels good.”

‘Hm, such a brat,” He joked back, you could feel the tension leach out of him, “Always getting what she wants.”

You scoffed, hitting him lightly on the leg. 

“You deserve it, though, don’t you?” His voice dropped, so soft against your ear when he turned his head slightly, nose pressed to your temple, “You’ve done so much for everyone today.”

His hand moved from its place on your back, moving back in front of him to rest on your knee. You took a shaky breath as he pressed a kiss to your temple, the pressure against your pulse dizzying. 

“Vik,” You warned, voice barely there as his hand moved up your thigh, stopping at the edge of your socks.

He ran his thumb over the elastic pressing into your thigh, over the small dip it made in your flesh. Slowly he pushed his fingers under the fabric, making more contact with the soft skin of your leg and squeezing gently.

“Hm, you deserve to be taken care of,” He hummed, fingers kneading into your flesh, perfect against your arguable sore muscles, “You do so much for other people.”

You couldn’t help the shuddery breath that slipped past your lips. He pressed another kiss to the side of your face, dropping his head to press his nose against the spot under your ear. You felt his teeth graze across your skin, tongue there only a moment later. 

“Let me take care of you,” He practically begged, hand moving out from under your sock and up your thigh. His breath was hot against your skin, you could feel his eyelashes brush against you, “Stay with me tonight, oh god please stay with me tonight.”

The desperation in his voice went directly to your core, you resisted the urge to press your thighs together. You couldn’t believe he was making you feel like this a second time tonight.

“Viktor,” Your voice came out breathier than you had meant it to. 

He pulled his face away from your neck, meeting your eyes as his hand traveled even higher up, and dipped lower between your thighs. Only inches away from where he had been for only a few moments earlier tonight. His face was so close to yours, lips still slightly red from when you had kissed him hours ago. His pupils were blown wide, eyes hooded as he stared at you. Stars in his eyes.

“I could make you feel so good,” He purred, “I could make you feel so so good. I could take care of you so well, you deserve it. Let me show you how you made me feel earlier.”

His voice was straining as he spoke. Desperate and needy. You were sure if you reached over you’d find him to be half hard already.

You closed your thighs around his hand, keening for him as you pressed your forehead to his. You were forgetting all the stupid reasons you had been denying him. Any rule of thumb you had established went up in smoke. It didn’t matter. None of it fucking mattered.  A yes was right on the tip of your tongue. A plea for him to take you to his bed and never let you leave was a breath away from slipping out. 

Before you could let the words fall out of your mouth the font door slammed open. You practically choked as you sucked in a gasp. You and Viktor threw yourselves away from each other, out of the compromising position. You sat wide eyed and red faced with your thighs pressed together, practically a foot of space between you and Viktor.

“You two are un-fucking-believable,” Lest scoffed, take the few steps down the stairs to stand on the sidewalk in front of you. Her eyes were alight with anger, perfect face turned down in a look of disappointment that bordered on disgust.

“Wh-what?” You stuttered, trying to control your breath. 

“You heard me,” She snapped, arms crossing over her freckled chest, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Lest!” You scoffed, truly taken off guard by her anger, “What are you talking about.”

“You both are sharing the award for shittiest friends on the planet,” Lest told you, dramatic as always.

“Lest, what-” Viktor tried, shaking off his stunned expression, eyebrows furrowing.

“No,” She held up a finger to him, cutting him off, “You know what I’m talking about Seriously, how could you do this to Sky?”

Oh…that's what this was about.

Lest hissed your name, “You know how she feels, you fucking know. And you.” She turns to Viktor, “What is wrong with you? Dragging her around like this? If you don’t like Sky, fucking tell her. Don’t tell her that you’ll ‘get back to her’ and then go get head from a different girl.”

“Lest!” You snapped, not knowing what else to say, “We didn’t-“

“There are grass stains on your fucking knees,” She seethed your name at the end, then rubbed a crease out of her forehead.

“You,” She snapped, jabbing a finger in your direction, “You need to stop being a jealous, passive aggressive bitch,” And you, attention on Viktor, “need to learn how to be a fucking man.”

Your head was spinning. Lest had been mad at you before. It was in her nature to be protective and aggressive and say what she thought. Never had this level of rage actually been directed straight at you. It made your hands shake, every ounce of guilt and shame you’d ever carried floating to the surface of your skin. 

“I’m spending the night with Sky,” Lest told you, jaw set, “because she’s fucking torn up over this, even if she won’t admit it.”

And with that she was leaving. Stalking off and down the street to catch an uber somewhere where she didn’t have to look at you. You stared after her, frozen. Hands shaking as your head swam.

Viktor said your name gently, reaching out for your shoulder. You flinched involuntarily, standing up in one quick motion, his jacket falling from your shoulders. 

“I…” Your voice caught in your throat, “I’m gonna go home.”

“Hold on,” Viktor said, pushing himself up off the stairs, steadying himself on the cane and grabbing your wrist before you could get away, “Wait, please, just…let me get you a ride home at least.”

You could tell he wanted you to stay, and you could tell he knew you wouldn’t, “No, it’s fine. I just… I want to walk, it’s not far.”

You knew you were not sober enough to try to drive, you didn’t think your shaking hands would even let you. 

“Milá, it’s freezing,” He gaped at you, eyes full of fear and worry, “Please.”

You tried to pull your wrist from his grasp, “Viktor, I’m fine. Please, just let me go.” You could feel hot tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. Oh god, you didn’t want to cry in front of him. Not now, not like this.

“At least take my jacket?” He offered, grabbing it from the ground with his other hand and holding it out to you, “Please, you’re barely dressed. Please just put on a jacket.”

You hesitated, but slowly reached out and took it. Watching the ground as you slipped the heavy coat over your shoulders. 

“Please let me know when you get home safe,” He said, voice reluctant to let you go, “Please.”

You nodded, cursing the way your voice broke, “Goodnight Viktor.”

You turned and walked away, trying to hide the shaking of your shoulders in the borrowed jacket. You were barely down the street before the first sob finally broke out of your chest. You zipped up the coat, burning your face in the neckline of it and tried and failed to calm yourself down as you walked back to your dorm room. 

You were still crying when you finally collapsed into your bed, Viktor’s heavy coat still wrapped around you. You barely remembered to text Viktor. His face and name appear on your screen, reminding you of your promise. You declined the call, instead just texted him a brief ‘home.’ before shutting off your phone and letting yourself fall into a restless sleep. 

[changingplumbob]

First Round - Day five (Chloe group)

The Chloe group are lucky last, meaning they've had some extra time to get to know each other before this. Tensions still exist though as some personalities clash.

Callie: This is so exciting! This place looks amazing

Apolline: I think it needs work. A lot of work

Billie: I suppose you're used to a higher standard?

Elise: It's a lot nicer than some places I've been let me tell you

Hana: I hope we get some free time to paint. At the moment the schedule seems pretty tight

Lara: We have some free time now don't we?

Callie: Yeah but we should be bonding and getting to know each other

Apolline: Why would we want that

Billie: Maybe you don't understand Callie but this is meant to be a competition

Lara: Why would you say that? We don't need to kill the vibe

Hana: Maybe not all of us feel as relaxed about the situation as you are Lara

Elise: You know what's relaxing? The onsen in Mt Komorebi

Hana: I think I'm going to go unpack

Elise: I'll come with, I've got the room beside yours

...

Callie: I know it's a competition but it doesn't mean we can't be friends... does it?

Billie: I didn't mean to sound quite that harsh

Apolline: *scoffs* You really want to befriend 29 woman chasing the same person you are?

Lara: You make it sound so cut throat Apolline. Maybe not everyone thinks the way you do. We should try and be friendly

Hana: Now where do you suppose the remote would be?

Hana decided that she didn't want to be overly social that morning and instead chose to watch some sports on TV after unpacking.

Apolline: I can be friendly! I love your... green?

Lara: *smiling* See now Polly, we're getting along great

Apolline: *seething at being called Polly*

Elise: So what did I miss

Callie: Nothing much. Can you tell us about one of your adventures?

Billie: Yes! I'd love to hear more of your travels

At lunch Deanna appeared to say hello to everyone and see how they were settling in.

Deanna: Are you doing okay?

Apolline: Yes. Deanna you look tres jolie in that shirt

Deanna: *smiling* Thanks. But really is it going okay

Hana: Things are bound to be awkward while we adjust right

Lara: Some things are bumpy but we're getting through it

Hana: I said that

Lara: I'm just trying to make conversation

Callie: The rooms are lovely

Billie: And the views are so inspiring

Elise: I love it here but I do miss home

Apolline: Deanna you must come visit Champs Le Sims, you as well Hana

Hana: I've heard the galleries there are impressive

Billie: I'd love to see them to

The rest of lunch is filled with jokes and laughter. Despite initial clashes these contestants do seem to want to understand each other.

Lara (voiceover): Things may have got tense this morning but it's nothing I can't handle. You don't get to be a party animal without learning how to handle an awkward situation. Apolline seems like she likes us, but it also feels like maybe she's liking us against her better judgement? I don't know. I decided to polish my charisma today, that way I can help diffuse any other arguments that might pop up

Elise (voiceover): It was a lot of fun talking about my travels with the others. Apolline didn't seem too impressed by the places I chose to visit but I think she respects my determination. There was an awkward moment with Apolline and Callie for sure though, and Billie. I think they just need to size each other up and move forward, eyes on the prize. I chose to practice video gaming for skill time, it was good to unwind

Callie (voiceover): So maybe I was a little bit naive thinking everyone would want to make friends. I just thought there's only so many people who do these kind of things, who else would best know what we're going through than a fellow competitor? At least Lara seems welcoming, and hey maybe the others just need to get to know me. I picked charisma to work on for the afternoon, I could do with less social slip ups

Hana (voiceover): I tried to tell myself not to be annoyed at Lara just because she was number one... but my hot-headedness got me. Hopefully she's cool enough to forgive it though because yeah... I do have to admit she seems pretty awesome. I think it was right to do some sports watching before lunch though, helped get me in a better place to chat. For the skill time I picked videogaming. I'm interested to see what challenge it's recommended for

Apolline (voiceover): I mean... I'm trying to overcome quite a bit right now. I do think it might seem like I'm cold but I'm being realistic. We can't all win. Deanna is only picking me- I mean, one of us. I don't know about you but I would rather not befriend people I know are flirting with the same person as me. How can you establish trust? I picked charisma to work on, not that I really need to, but it does seem like a skill that will be essential in the villa

Billie (voiceover): I didn't mean to be rude to Callie, she just doesn't seem like a serious competitor. But after I snapped she looked like a puppy someone had pushed in a puddle. So I backtracked and tried to patch it up, hopefully she's not the kind to hold grudges. Lunch was fun, it would be nice to visit Champs Le Sims one day if Apolline ever deems me worthy of invitation. For skills I chose charisma, I'm going to need it

For dinner Deanna made some Chicken Saltimbocca.

Apolline: Merci! Some real food

Billie: Thanks Deanna

Deanna: You're welcome

Elise: It tastes really nice, what brand of nectar did you use?

Deanna: Uhh, the one in the cupboard?

Lara: Brands don't always tell you how good the nectar will be

Hana: I didn't realise you drank nectar

Lara: I don't much but I know how to navigate behind the bar

Apolline: A useful skill?

Lara: It can be. Sometimes your ordered mixologist will not appear and you need to keep the party going

Callie: I've never really been to many parties

Elise: I've been to parties on almost every continent

Billie: Gosh this sunset is just gorgeous

Hana: I know! I wish I had my full set of paints to capture it

Following the cleaning up, Deanna invites the women to watch a movie with her. While most seem excited at the idea of a film in a language that is not English, Lara is skeptical and Callie is worried.

Callie: Will there be subtitles? We can have subtitles right?

Deanna: Absolutely

Apolline: Disappointed Lara?

Lara: Huh? No, I just prefer action films not drama

Billie: I saw a review of this one but have yet to watch

Hana: Shhh, it's starting

Despite her initial hesitation Callie gets drawn in to the film, crying along with Elise at the sad moments.

Deanna: *sniffling* I don't have a good feeling

Billie: I think they'll make it through this, they're so cute

Hana: Maybe but the lighting says not

Lara: Apolline do you have to cry quite so loud

Apolline: *loud sobs and words in French*

When the film has concluded absolutely everyone headed off to bed despite there being some socialisation time with Deanna left. Emotional films can take a physical toll though so maybe that's why everyone had to rest up?

Sims created by: @belsasim, @igglemouse, @invisiblequeen, @paracosmic-sims, @perolesims (@peroleeesims), @simscici

[tarotlexa]

PICK A PILE READING- aries season for you!

welcome back my loves, today's reading is a prediction on how aries season (march 21-april 19) is going to go for you+some insights.

as always, this is a collective reading so take what resonates and leave what does not. much much love <3

⠀.　　　　　　　　　　⠀⠀⠀✦ ⠀ ⠀　　　　　　　　　　　　　　⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀* ⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　　　　　　. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀✦⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　ﾟ .　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　✦ 　　　　　,　　　　　　　.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

　　　　　　*　　　　　　　　　　　.

.　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　✦⠀　   　　　,　　　　　　　　　*

　　　　　⠀　　　　⠀　　,

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　 　　⠀　　　⠀.　

　　˚　　　⠀　⠀  　　,　　　　　　.

　　　　　　　　　　　　　.

　　　　　　*⠀　　⠀  　　　　　⠀✦⠀　

　　　　　　*　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　.

　　　　.　　　　.　　　⠀

　　　　　　　　　　　.

　　　　　　　

　　　˚　　　　　　　　ﾟ　　　　　.

　.⠀　　⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀,

　　　*　　⠀.

　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　⠀✦

　˚　　　　　　　　　　　　　　*

.⠀ 　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　.

　　　　　✦⠀　   　　　,　　    　　　　　　　　.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　　　　　　⠀⠀⠀✦ ⠀ ⠀　　　　　　　　　　　　　　⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀* ⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　　　　　　. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀✦⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　ﾟ .　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　✦ 　　　　　,　　　　　　　.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

　　　　　　*　　　　　　　　　　　.

.　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　✦⠀　   　　　,　　　　　　　　　*

　　　　　⠀　　　　⠀　　,

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　 　　⠀　　　⠀.　

　　˚　　　⠀　⠀  　　,　　　　　　.

　　　　　　　　　　　　　.

　　　　　　*⠀　　⠀  　　　　　⠀✦⠀　

　　　　　　*　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　.

　　　　.　　　　.　　　

　　　　　　　　　　　.

　　　　　　　

　　　˚　　　　　　　　ﾟ　　　　　.

　.⠀　⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀,

　　　　　✦⠀　   　　　,

pile 1: the last month seems to have gone great for you! you're radiating confidence, charm and personal power. you may have also achieved a great goal or a wish fulfilled. your aries season starts with a bit of a lack of direction in your actions (understandable, you don't know where to go with all those blessings coming at you), there might be some frustration at the way things move forward for you (remember, the dynamic of giving and taking is a constant in the universe). you may feel a bit bored during aries season but not out of lack of opportunities, more because you might be focusing on what's lacking instead of what you have been already given. reframe your mindset, be grateful and focus on staying grounded in your core values.

pile 2: woah this past month might have been very intense for you, pile 2. the tower indicates that something unexpected or transformational took place, maybe even a breakdown that lead to new emotional growth that hasn't been easy to navigate. fortunately aries season is looking BRIGHT for you. it's going to bring forward strong determination, a sense of control over your destiny and victory through willpower! this is a time to focus on goals, take decisive action and experience a sense of harmony within your family or personal life. embrace the momentum from the chariot and charge ahead with confidence. a great month!

pile 3: the past month was also pretty challenging for you, pile 3, especially in terms of conflicts or misunderstandings with loved ones. there might have been an influx of arguments and competition. and yet, you managed to stay strong, focusing on yourself and self-sufficiency! aries season might begin with some anxiety due to mental overload, there's definitely some aspect of your life that's feeling pretty confusing or uncertain to you. some emotional instability is to be expected but if you manage to work through that, you'll be able to achieve a new level of understanding or growth in your life. especially for what concerns your purpose on earth. ground yourself, do not get lost in your head and every difficulty will resolve in due time. have faith.

as always, thank you for reading and for stopping by. have a great aries season my darlings, much love <333

[the-pigeon-queen]

You draw a lot of soft big brother Primo and for that I'm super grateful but like, do you have any art/ideas for unhinged Primo who wants to punch pandas and invade countries and all that? Just curious 👀

Sorry for the long delay :'] I’m sorry I don’t currently have any doodles or art of unhinged Primo, but that doesn’t mean I’m not plagued by Primo thoughts.

The big disclaimer here is that this is all personal headcannons; I’m the type of Ghost fan that generally wants to follow the cannon, but also, you know, is more than fine with adapting and extrapolating a few things… So, all this is about my Personal Primo conjecture lol

Everything we’ve ever gotten about Primo in cannon paints him as batshit crazy, but somehow fandom morphed him into a much gentle figure. And I honestly enjoy both sides and think he can be both :’]

Like… Primo loves his little brothers, but hates humans. He grows a beautiful garden but anticipates the day it will be destroyed in Armageddon. He makes tea blends with the same precision he would conduct a sacrificial ritual. He curls up in an armchair next to a cozy fireplace with an ancient tomb on demonology in his lap. There is a non-zero amount of dead bodies in his garden, feeding the flowers with their decaying flesh.

And he believes there’s something beautiful about that; the cycle of life and death, the miracle of life and the necessity of death.

Primo hates the government and he hates society; he hates humanity. He believes it to be corrupt and evil – and looks forward to the day that it reaps what it deserves. It also means that he doesn’t have a lot of personal objections to doing ‘evil’ things, himself.

I do not think that makes him a complete monster (because completely chaotic evil characters aren’t that interesting to me). Primo doesn’t go out of his way to be cruel.

Like, Primo has no qualms with sacrificing a goat or lamb on the alter, but wouldn’t kick a puppy. Primo wouldn’t hesitate to kill a man if he deemed it necessary, but he’s always kind to children. He would burn down a government building for fun, but he wouldn’t burn down a family home. He would absolutely have a reporter abducted because the Clergy kept badgering him to do interviews, but would see to it that the reporter had lunch.

Now – the Ghost Project.

Primo had no interest in it. He looked at his father, who he hates, and the flashy, rock n’ roll lifestyle, and quickly decided he wanted nothing to do with it. But he wasn’t given a choice in the matter. He does come around to aspects of it, though. He realizes that music can be a powerful tool to lure people into the Ministry. He realizes that he can influence people with music.

He commits to Ghost; writing songs and performing, singing Satan’s praises. His time as frontman is dedicated to his dark lord. Primo does not want the Ghost Project to be about him – he wants it to be about the message, alone. So, he tries to stay anonymous. He tries to stay separate.

But the people want a rockstar, they want interviews, they want personalization. And the Clergy pressures him to give them that. So, he breaks down and gives them interviews. Primo is old at this point – old and a little bitter. He doesn’t give a shit about the interviews.

So, he gets exceptionally high, sits down, and decides to have some fun with them.

So yeah, sure, he’d hit a panda in the face with a brick, but he wouldn’t do it for free – like, $500 bucks would do it. And sure, hell, he’d be down for some world domination, why not? Sounds like fun. Also, yeah, you know what, his d!ck is 13 inches long, write that down, it’s important. His Ghouls sit there in silent agony while their leader rattles off whatever wild bull he happens to think of off the top of his head, and he’s having a blast watching the interviewer get more and more uncomfortable.

And then his time as frontman is over, and he gladly turns over the Mitre to his little brother and returns to a quiet life of blood sacrifices and quiet gardening.

[bcacstuff]

Hi, have you heard anything or have any news on Cait’s London premiere of The Amateur on the 31st?

I haven heard and posted about the London premiere on 31 March at the Odeon in London. I haven't heard anything new about that.

I just saw a new article with a new still as well. It's article from Mujerhoy in Spanish.

Using Google translate:

LIVE

Caitríona Balfe begins her new journey.

By Aloña Fdez. Larrechi 22 Mar 2025

Entering the name Caitríona Balfe (Dublin, 1979) into any internet search engine means entering a universe of biographies that begin with her career as a model, fans who admire her for her work on Outlander, and information about the popular series, which will air its final season this year. Among the results, you can also find a video recorded in 2002, shortly before she participated in the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, in which she is asked about her acting studies and whether she will resume her acting career. "I don't know, I don't have any plans, maybe," answers a young woman in her early twenties with a smile and uncertainty. Four years later, aware of the importance of age in the fashion world, the possibility became a reality.

“When you look back on your life, you realize that everything that's happened has brought you to where you are,” explains the Irish actress. “Every moment can fuel your future existence. I've been very fortunate to have had an interesting life up until now,” she acknowledges. The current moment is one in which the daily routine that has defined her life for the past 11 years has undergone a change, as filming for the series that brought her worldwide fame has ended. “I know I've been doing this for 15 years, but since I was on Outlander for so long, I feel like I'm starting a journey,” she confesses.

The first stop on this journey is Amateur (April 11 in theaters), a feature film starring Rami Malek in which

The actor best known for portraying Freddie Mercury in Bohemian Rhapsody is Charlie Heller, a brilliant CIA codebreaker who makes revenge for the death of his wife, murdered by a terrorist group, his most personal mission. To carry out this bloody task, he will have the help of a Russian hacker played by Balfe.

“When I read the script I thought, ‘This is fun,’” she confesses, before adding that although “these action movies are dominated by force, because everything revolves around the fights, Amateur is a very intelligent and very funny take on the genre.” Something that, added to the admiration she feels for Malek – “He’s a very interesting and unique actor” – with whom she had not worked but whom she knew “socially because we coincided at the Golden Globes,” led her to change the wardrobe of a 21st-century doctor during a break from filming the latest installment of Outlander.

XX who travels back in time 300 years through the life of a woman who lives in hiding today.

For the actress, the best part about the character is that she's "a lone wolf who lives in the shadows." She was inspired by Pussy Riot member Nadya Tolokonnikova because "I was trying to find someone who was very comfortable in English but had a Russian background," due to her character's accent, but also her motivations. "I really enjoyed finding in her a commitment to justice and integrity that isn't tainted by the influence of a regime," she acknowledges.

The revenge that drives Malek's character, and her own, is, for the actress, "very interesting to portray, because it's very different for each person: for some, it's debilitating and completely paralyzes them; for others, it propels them forward and leads them to do truly incredible things. That's a point where my role and Malek's diverge, but it also gives them this place where they connect deeply," she explains.

A childhood dream with an unexpected detour

The fourth of five siblings, with two other foster children at home, Caitríona Balfe grew up in rural Ireland dreaming of becoming an actress. “I was that annoying little girl,” she shares with a smile, “who would do little skits at home from the age of three or four. My dad used to do comedy sketches with his friends, so I think it was in my genes, in a way.” So when it came to choosing a career, she opted for acting. But she didn't expect that, while helping friends raise funds for multiple sclerosis, a man working for a modeling agency in Dublin would give her his card, and soon after, a French agency would sign her to work as a model in Paris.

She walked for fashion houses like Louis Vuitton and Chanel, but she defined herself as a "blue-collar model," one who lives on the ladder below supermodels and goes unnoticed. When she decided to return to acting in the 2000s, she moved to Los Angeles and took classes again. "I was very lucky because I met great teachers and it helped me regain my confidence," she shares, after acknowledging that "when you come from the fashion world, you get comfortable with rejection." After landing small roles in films and TV series, in 2013 she had been out of work for several months when her agent suggested she audition for Outlander. With no news, she organized a vacation, which she ultimately had to cancel because she was asked to travel to London for the final audition. After landing the role that brought her fame, she decided to leave Los Angeles for Scotland for a year.

More than a decade later, she still lives in Glasgow and enjoys spending time with her son, "because it was hard not to do so in recent years." A project as long-running as the series based on Diana Gabaldon's novels has been a "very hectic time, like being on a train that never stops." That unstoppable journey took her, among other destinations, to work on Belfast, the Kenneth Branagh film that earned her a Golden Globe nomination. "Now I enjoy the luxury of taking some time and choosing good projects," she admits, eager for the direction her new, yet highly experienced, career will take.

[chaoticisis]

I feel like I am going to get a lot of hate for this, but I don't care anymore at this point. The needs to addressed.

I believe there's a lot of toxic positivity in the interactive fiction community. Specifically, text based IFs.

Everytime, I see someone offer criticism, it gets shot down immediately and ends with them being labelled as a hater and downvoted to oblivion on the hosted games reddit. There's nothing wrong with disliking some elements in a story and being vocal about it as long as you are not harassing the author. You should not have to praise the book in order to make your opinion matter.

Yes, a lot of people misuse the anon feature. There are comments people have made towards authors and made assumptions about them that have left me reeling but not every comment has to be an attack. When someone says "oh i didn't like ABC book because of XYZ in it. I wish it was YXZ instead, I would have enjoyed it more then." There is always someone in their replies with the "if you don't like it so much, why are you even reading it. Maybe don't tell the author what to write?"

Here's the thing :

Wishing for something to have been a certain way doesn't mean it should have been that way alone. It means the poster would have enjoyed the work more if it was written that way, it doesn't necessarily mean, they are imposing their opinion on the author.

Also, why is our immediate response to any kind of criticism "yeah, well maybe its not for you, stop reading it" because why should they?? Maybe there's a lot of things they like about the book? Maybe they are interested in the setting? The premise? They are actually looking forward to how the story will develop or are at least curious about in which direction the author is going to take it? Maybe they love the relationships in it?

I recently came across the post of an author making fun of people who has a discord server to "hate" on IFs. Now, I don't know much about this so I could very well be in the wrong here— if that's the case then I sincerely applogise in advance, but I am assuming there are no authors in the server. If that is the case, then I don't see how that is an issue? We watch shows. We get excited about them. We want to have someone to talk about it. People make edits of it. We read things. We get frustrated about it. We need a space to vent about how it made is feel. It's exactly that.

It's actually a great thing in my opinion. It's a discord server so these haters won't be in the authors' faces— unless you deliberately join the server, in which you don't have anyone else to blame but yourself. It's a discord server, not a place you can go looking for constructive criticism. I remember looking at the post and thinking how incredibly rude it was when the author told those people to get a job. (Especially the way they worded it) Because would you say the same to the people in your inbox? Or the people taking the time out of their life and drawing art for your characters because they loved your work? Or the ones making memes? Or the ones writing those extremely lengthy posts on reddit about an IF? Or those who join fan based discord servers of IFs to gush over them? No, you wouldn't. Because that benefits you. When you post something online it is bound to receive both negative and positive reaction. Collen hoover is a best selling author, yet a lot of people dislike her work.

However, I do understand that IF authors are more accessible and hence, have to face harassment by these people hiding behind anon. I have defended authors myself. It does get out of hand sometimes. But still.

I came across this discussion on the forum about how people feel about ROs potentially getting into a relationship with an NPC. Someone said how they don't like it because they read books to escape reality. They are not a fan of realism in fiction. For them, fiction is fiction. Now, personally, I don't care about it. I like me a little realism but I understand. At the end of the day, it's upto the author and i will just have to look for books that align with my tastes. But somebody dismissed this person by saying how "its just words on the paper" and how its weird for them to be jealous.

No. It's not just words on a paper. It's so much more than that. People read books, people get attached. We cry when our favourite character dies or gets injured. We get angry when we see a character we dislike show up on screen. Both are valid. Books are there to make us feel. I don't think any author would like it if they wrote something and it didn't make anyone feel any kind of way.

[kyokutsu-sama]

Just passing through

Sanemi x f!reader

A/n: I was supposed to post this earlier but this past week I was too busy and many of my projects were postponed but now that I have more time I will try to work on them😅

Anyway, here's another fic about this wonderful man❤️

Tw: Nsfw

This was another one of those times when he arrived in the middle of the night, injured and tired after a long mission. Some Kakushis who saw him staggering and injured tried to offer help but he just push them away as he walked to the butterfly mansion, looking for the only person he trusted to treat him. And surprisingly, it wasn't Shinobu.

She already knew about his affair with one of her tsgukus. In fact, it wasn't really a little affair since it had been going on for a few years but she never wanted to question them directly about the matter, limiting herself to just listening to the rumors that ran through the halls. She began to suspect when he preferred to be treated by the tsuguko rather than her. Even Kanao who was with her that day found it strange but Shinobu quickly realized.

It definitely wasn't because she didn't know what she was doing, it was just because he probably had a crush on Y/n and that made him want to be close to her.

He entered the mansion, leaning against the wall and letting out a sigh. His other hand pressed the wound on his abdomen that stained his uniform with blood. Shinobu approached him from behind, he felt her presence and looked over his shoulder.

"Shinazugawa-san, are you hurt? Do you need help?" She asked

"I think so, go call her." He ordered and she then went to tell Y/n that he was there

"L/n, Shinazugawa-san is here and says he needs your help." Shinobu said, entering the office where she was and she turned to Shinobu, worried about the news

"Is he hurt?"

"He came in bleeding and asked to call you, anyway I'm going to let him in so you can see his condition better."

"Yes, please." She nodded, starting to prepare things to treat him

Shinobu approached him who was sitting on the floor leaning against the wall, with his hand covered in blood and looking at her.

"It's that door on the left." Shinobu pointed to where she was and he got up and went there without saying anything

He entered the office and closed the door, she looked at him when he suddenly entered and sighed when she saw his condition.

It was nothing new for her to see him in that state, since she had already treated him several times. If he happened to come back from a mission at night and she weren't at the mansion, he would went to her home. He always looked for her. Not only because she healed him with her medical skills but also with her love for him, which he also reciprocated.

She healed all the pain he had, inside and out.

Her eyes wandered all over his body, his sweaty and dirty skin, the wounds he carried that would later become more scars on his body adorned with dozens of them. Some blood also ran from his forehead and stained his white hair, looking like blood on snow. His breathing was labored and his face was slightly red, his uniform had tears and his haori was hanging over his shoulder.

He looked... more attractive than usual at that moment, even though he was dirty and bloody. That figure right in front of her undoubtedly spread a certain warmth throughout her body.

"Another long mission?" She asked but he remained silent, throwing the haori aside. "Sit on the stretcher, please." She ordered and he did so

She approached him and unbuttoned the only button on his uniform, near his belly button, and took it off. His gaze went from her hands to her eyes and she met his gaze for seconds that seemed endless.

He leaned forward so she could slide the cloth down his arms and toss him aside. And there it was, the wound Shinobu had mentioned before. It looked like a scratch caused by the demons' claws. It looked a little deep but not deep enough to have pierced any organs. Which made her feel more relieved.

"It doesn't look like the claw hurt any internal organs, but even so, you should be more careful. It could have been worse."She warned, sitting on a stool and analyzing the wound

"Tch! My blood is like poison to demons. While I could just heal myself with some help and time, they can't heal from death."He grumbled as she cleaned the open wound

"Even so, the last thing I want is to see you hurt yourself on purpose so you can use your blood to your advantage."

"You don't have to worry so much."

"How can I not worry about you? Don't forget that you are not like the other demon slayers." She looked up at his face."You are the wind pillar but your're also the person I love the most, so don't ask me not to worry." She turned her attention back to the wound and he looked away

He couldn't lie but whenever he heard her say that she loved him or showed her feelings for him, it made his heart beat faster and also a certain blush appear on his cheeks. And he hated that he couldn't hide it most of the time, but what could he do? He loved her.

"And how are things here? Are you working the night shift today?"He changed the subject

"Yes, but I'll be leaving at 7am. My day off finally." She announced with a sigh of relief that she finally had a day of peace

He looked at the clock on the wall and saw that it was still 4:30am in the morning. What a hell of a time to be making visits.

"You should be the one resting instead of asking others to sleep and recover their strength." He said and she smiled

"You're right, but my job is to take care of others all the time and sometimes I forget about myself." She took the needle to stitch the wound. "You're like that too, aren't you? You want to save this world from these creatures but sometimes you end up like this."

"I can handle it."

"I know, you're not just some random salyer. You're strong, too strong in fact."She praised, carefully passing the needle through his skin and he looked at her doing her job

It was hard for her sometimes to concentrate on treating him when his body was so well sculpted. The first time she saw him undress so she could treat one of his wounds, she just gasped. The uniform itself already showed his broad chest but without that it seemed an even better sight.

She cut the thread and put the needle aside and got up from the stool, standing in front of him. He looked at her and she moved the bangs aside to find the other wound on his forehead. She wiped a wet cloth over the wound and over his face, cleaning not only the blood but also the sweat.

She prepared another needle and thread to stitch up the wound. He kept his head still and tilted to the side, giving her more access so she could work better while his eyes roamed over her body so close to his. Her chest right next to his face and the short skirt of her uniform were showing the legs he had grabbed so many times and that used to wrap around his waist.

She was almost done with the last stitch when she felt his hands on her waist, immediately creating butterflies in her stomach with the firmness of the touch

"Sanemi?" She looked to the side, meeting his eyes but he pretended not to understand

"What?" He said, his hands continuing to slide up and down her body

"I need to focus."

"Then focus." He brought his hands to her breasts, over her uniform and she gasped slightly. "Is it that hard?" He asked in the deep voice she couldn't resist

"With you doing this, it's not easy."

"Come on, focus."He ordered

"I'm trying."Her hands shook a little passing the needle

She couldn't deny that she was loving feeling those hands grabbing her breasts and waist every time they passed by. She already missed her boyfriend after having spent a few days without him after he went on a mission and had only returned at that moment.

She felt a certain heat build up between her legs and that was when one of his hands was going to the hem of her skirt, she finished the stitch and cut the thread.

"There you go!"

"See? It wasn't that hard."He straightened his head again and looked at her with his hands down to his waist again

"You're an idiot." She giggled."Just let me if you have any other wounds that need to be treated." She checked his arms and back but found nothing else, to her relief. "Nothing, it was just those two. Anyway, you just need to rest for a few days so the stitches don't come apart." She walked away, taking off her gloves and putting her things aside

"Rest... yeah." He said, getting up from the stretcher

"Yes, that's exactly what you heard. I know you like to train hard and get hurt on missions, but I'm telling you this for your own goo--"

Before she could finish her sentence, his strong arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her into a kiss. She grabbed onto his shoulders to stay upright as her knees weakened a little due to his sudden action. "You talk too much." He said, pulling her lip between his teeth

"Because you're stubborn."

"And you're annoying." He said, kissing her again

He deepened the kiss, holding the back of her neck with one hand and squeezing her waist with the other. She ran a hand down his arm, digging her nails into the hard muscle of his bicep, feeling the heat between her legs increase with just his kiss.

"Sanemi, not here..." She said as his lips distributed kisses on her neck

"Why not? We've done it here so many times, what's the problem now?" He asked, his lips sucking on the skin of her shoulder and neck, making her grip his arm tighter

"One day we'll get caught." She giggled

"Not if you're a good girl and don't make too much noise." His hoarse voice whispering in her ear made her shiver even more

One of her hands went down to hold on to the edge of the table behind her as she went back to kissing him sloppily. The Hashira ran his hands over the buttons of her uniform, taking it off and throwing it to the side and doing the same with her bra afterwards. He lifted her up and laid her down on the table, his hands on her waist and his lips sucking her breasts, making her back arched and the lips letting out soft moans as his tongue circled around the hard nipples. He left a few wet kisses on the valley of her breasts, going down and moving away a little to lift her skirt up to her waist, exposing her panties, already with the damp stain resulting from the pleasure he was giving her.

He moved the fabric to the side and ran his fingers up and down her throbbing slit, watching as her body writhed on top of the table and her hands gripped the edge behind her head. Her body responded so well to his touch and that excited him so much.

"So wet for me." He said before he put his fingers inside her and she let out a whimper that made him cover her mouth with his other hand. "What did I say?" He growled, widening his eyes at her and she grabbed his wrist

"Don't be loud, or we'll definitely get caught, got it?" She nodded and he took his hand away from her mouth

He slid her panties down her legs and knelt between her thighs, his thumb caressing her clit while his tongue explored her entrance, making her bite her lower lip hard to try to stifle the moans that threatened to escape her lips as he ate her out so well.

She spread her legs wider, holding his white hair and rolling her hips slightly against his tongue. His tongue replaced his thumb and sucked on the sensitive, swollen clit while his hands now went up to play with her breasts, thumbs teasing her nipples making she tilted her head back, releasing soft, low moans and whimpers that only he could hear.

Deep down her heart was racing, knowing that anyone could come in and see them in that embarrassing position, but on the other hand, his tongue was making her lose her shame and fear.

"Mmh~ Nemi, I'm g-gonna c-come..." She whimpered softly and he sucked her clit harder

A hand went down to use his fingers inside her, going in and out quickly, widening her entrance.

"Go ahead dear...cum. for. me." He punctuated the words between strong sucks

She brought a hand to her mouth to muffle her moans as she came, pouring her juicies all over his mouth and fingers.

Her hips lifted off the table and her body shivered as she felt the intensity of the orgasm she was experiencing. He pulled away and licked his lips and fingers, savoring every drop of her. She took her hands away from her lips, letting out a breath, revealing her flushed cheeks.

"The d-door...the door isn't locked." She warned, sitting on the edge of the table

"So what?" He asked with a nonchalant air, undoing his belt and pulling down his pants."Are you afraid someone will come in and find us like this?"

"It would be embarrassing, don't you think?"

"Remember that time against your bedroom window?You didn't seem very embarrassed, quite the opposite." He gave her a teasing smirk as he remembered the day they did it against her bedroom window

"Fuck you." She blushed even more at the memory

"That's not what you said that day." He held her thighs and squeezed them, the tip of his cock poking her sloppy hole

"Sanemi..."She moaned softly, holding on to his broad shoulders. "Please."Her hips rubbing against his tip as he held his hardness, brushing it against her folds

"Look at you, rubbing yourself against me so desperately. Tch!" He said looking down and watching her movements. "If you wanted this dick so much you could have told me before." He said through clenched teeth

"You're always away or busy, training."

"I'm never too busy when it's you...fuck!"He growled

"So please, please, indulge me and give me everything you have, make me yours again and again." She moaned, bringing her hands to his face and kissing him

He immediately filled her with a strong thrust, making her body rock and her lips open against his, letting out a moan that was probably heard by whoever was passing by.

"For the last time, shut your mouth." He cupped her cheeks tightly. "If you keep making those loud sounds, even I won't be able to hold myself back."

"I'm sorry." She apologized and he released his hand from her face, kissing her again, trying to silence the noises she was making once again

His tongue intertwined with hers, in an intense and heated kiss as he began by slowly rolling his hips against her. She would probably take a good nap today as soon as she got home after the end of her shift. After working all night, all she needed was rest, but since that man had crossed her path, rest could wait. He gave her energy, made her delirious and want him more, he always sought her because she was the one he loved and desired.

His hands ran up and down her waist, the lips parting sometimes when he went deeper or when he was short of air. She tilted her head back, biting her lip when he went faster, her fingers scratching his broad back and her legs hugging his waist, bringing him closer.

The feeling of being filled was making her roll her eyes in pleasure, he always managed to do that to her. Ever since the first time they were together in his mansion. She still remembers it, and so does he. It was probably one of the few times he took things slow. And the times he had to hold himself back from going faster because he wasn't alone.

That was why he wasn't really into quickies, he didn't have the freedom to do it as he liked. But even so, he almost never refused.

"I can't wait to go to your house in a few hours..." He murmured, thrusting deeper."It'll be just the two of us alone doing it all over the house."

"Won't you... Ahh~ won't you at least let me sleep for a moment?" She said with some difficulty, between whimpers."I've been working for hours."

"And you think I've been fucking around all night?"The words coming out between gritted teeth

"Ooh Nemi..." She ran a hand over his chest and he kissed her, muffling her noises. Tears of pleasure rolling from her eyes, wetting his cheeks.

"I'll let you rest, but you better be recovered by the time I knock on your door."

He growled against her lips as he felt her wet walls tighten around him as he moved inside her, she felt so close once again. His hands were on her hips and that was when one of her hands grabbed one of his guiding it to the clit so he could touch it. He took the hint and his fingers rubbed around it making her tighten around him and arch towards his chest.

"Sane--" He covered his mouth when he heard footsteps in the hallway and stopped his movements making her heart beat fast, fearful

He looked at her as if his eyes were asking her to be quiet and then looked at the door.

"Kanao, what do you need from Y/n?"Shinobu asked seeing the girl by the door of her office

"I just needed to ask her something, is she in here?"

"She is but..." Shinobu smiled at the girl, trying to pretend she didn't know what was happening on the other side. "Dear, come with me first, I need you to help me with something and then you can talk to her, okay?" Shinobu held out her hand and she nodded

"Sure."The girl followed her and they both left

Sanemi realized that both of them had already left and sighed

"See? I warned you" She hit his chest and he thrust deeper making her moan

"It's your fault." He rested one hand on the table while the other made quick circular movements as he thrust

She held onto his shoulders and her nails traced red lines on his skin as she felt her orgasm taking over her and squirting on his still moving length. His movements became sloppier and gradually lost speed until he spilled all of his seed inside her, laying his head on her shoulder. She ran her hands through his hair as she caught her breath, her legs were weak and numb after that moment. He pulled away from her shoulder and kissed her but this time softer than before, it was as if it was his way of saying 'I love you'.

He pulled out of her and pushed the drops of the mess he had made inside her again, drawing a low whimper from her due to the overstimulation. He put her panties back on and kissed her forehead.

"That's right, now you can go home and rest."He said, cleaning himself and pulling up his pants

"There are still two hours left."

"And can you handle another two hours with your legs weak and my seed running down those beautiful thighs?" He came closer, taking her chin between his thumb and index finger

"I think so, or maybe I'll ask Shinobu to let me go home early."

"I should, you need to rest." He placed a peck on her lips

"And you too, your stitches will open." She said, watching him put on the belt and looking at the wound

"Don't worry, if it open, I'll come looking for you so you can treat it again."

"And if we end up like this every time you look for me, it won't be worth it."She lay down on the table, opening her legs a little and smirking at him

"Don't tease me, brat, or you won't go home on your own two feet."

"Okay, we'll leave it at that." She stood up slowly and he handed her the uniform. "I'm going to get dressed and go back to work. And where are you going now?"

"To the mansion, I'm going to sleep. I'm too tired." He picked up the haori he was wearing without the uniform since it was dirty and torn

"So what's the deal? Are you coming to my house later or would you prefer me to come and meet you?" She pulled her skirt down and looked at him

"I'll come to you. I always do." He held the back of her neck and kissed her once more

"Sleep well, love."She murmured and he kissed her nose

"You too." He left there and made his way back

She left the office still a little unsteady and buttoning the buttons of her uniform until she felt Shinobu's presence approaching her.

"Oh, Kocho-sama, you were there! I hadn't noticed." She said, nervously fixing her hair

"Is Shinazugawa-san better now?"

"Yeah, he only had two deep wounds, but they weren't that bad. I just had to stitch him up and clean the small wounds."She explained, and Shinobu nodded

"I see... I heard some noises coming from inside, did something happen?" Shinobu asked, and she choked a little

"W-what? No no, it's fine, really. I just dropped something, and that must have been what you heard." She tried to make up an excuse

"Yeah, maybe that was it." She smiled, maintaining eye contact with Tsuguko who realized that she hadn't swallowed that story very well. "Anyway, I'll let you go for now."

"Oh really? But do you think you can handle the rest of it? I can stay a little longer, there's still two hours left for that."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of everything."Shinobu nodded and she smiled

"Thank you, Kocho-sama."Y/n headed towards the exit door

"And by the way..."Shinobu's voice made her stop once more

"What?" She turned around

"Don't take this the wrong way, but... be quieter next time. There are people resting here to recover, yes?"

She felt her cheeks heat up with embarrassment and Shinobu smiled at her. She had actually heard everything in that room.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. Go home and take care, okay?"

"Yes."She nodded and left