#but also for me too bc I would need to be in cell to keep me away from these 2

[lususnatura]

blamore having to wear things like back-less shirts / lower - cut tops and just items of clothing that will allow him SOME sort of free range of movement for his tail in general + will actually not constrict his rib cage may just make him a fashion icon y'all... sorry, i don't make the rules ( nah i'm just joking around with you guys LOL... mostly )

[marvelouslymarly]

After Midnight (Bob Reynolds x female superhero!reader)

Pairing: Bob Reynolds/Robert Reynolds/the Sentry/the Void x female superhero!reader

Part two out now!!! Read here

Summary: You're out with the team when some dude starts acting like an ass. Bob helps you get away and takes you home to show you how a lady should be treated...

Rated E for explicit - Minors do not interact!!

CW: physical violence (bar brawl); the void showing up for a second there; some hints at sexual harrassment/assault (no on page rape!); Bob dancing with reader; fluff; half of this is smut (first time reader and Bob sleep together; oral/female and male receiving; fingering, p in v sex (protected); multiple orgasms) [i think i need a pastor]; minor thunderbolts* spoiler warning bc this is set after the film

Word count: 10.6k words (and I thought the last one was a long one, LOL)

Masterlist

[A/N #1: Got the idea for this on the drive home from my parents' place while listening to After Midnight by Chappel Roan, so here you go]

[A/N #2: thank you to @scuttle-buttle for cheering me on and reading through this!!! Dedicating this to you, babes🫰🏻]

The music was blasting over the speakers, and you could feel the beat in every cell of your body. The team had decided to go out that night, needing a break from training and recon-missions and the same old day-in-and-day-out of the last few weeks. While the guys had stayed back at the bar, Ava and Yelena had pulled you into the center of the dance floor, telling you to put yourself out there and have some fun for once. You knew that they were right. It had been a while since you forgot about work and everything that came with first being one of Val's shadow ops and then becoming part of what Val intended to become the new Avengers.

Even after a few months, the title still didn't feel right. It was just too loaded with expectations, with ideas and opinions about who you should be, what you should or shouldn't do. You guys weren't shiny and new. You were rough around the edges, with problems and your own past full of mistakes and regrets. You all had things you'd like to forget or wished to have gone up in flames with every little detail Val put in that vault.

Being called the "new Avengers" felt like stepping into footsteps not only way too big to fill, but also just the wrong shape to begin with. It was like trying to match the tracks of bears with those of lions. You were a different species of heroes - and even calling yourself heroes felt wrong somehow. You were too familiar with being the bad guys, with having your stories twisted, being used for whatever wrong someone wanted done without getting their own hands dirty. But now, you were supposed to be the ones stopping the bad guys, to fight the guys you were made out to be before.

So, this night out felt like the right call for multiple reasons. It was good for forgetting about work, but also for getting to know each other outside of work settings. You'd lived with them for months and knew everything about who preferred what guns, who would do what whenever you were out on missions but whenever you came home, you'd retreat into your own spaces, resting and trying to figure out where you all fit into whatever Val had in mind when she called the press on you and announced her new team of superheroes come to save the world.

~~~

Earlier that evening, while putting on that one dress in the back of your wardrobe, you could hear your mother's voice in the back of your head, telling you not to dress this provocatively. To be a good girl and cover yourself before the Lord's eyes. You felt the anger you'd repressed for so long bubble back up inside of you. Images of the time before you ran away from home came rushing back in. 

The front lawns of the neighbourhood peppered with signs with psalms and verses written on them. Crosses in every room of the house you’d grown up in. The metal rods and mosquito nets outside the windows to “keep evil out” but, in all honesty, they were there to keep you from climbing out the windows in the middle of the night. Memories of everything your parents tried to make you believe about the virtues of life and how to be a pious girl and a good servant of the Lord. 

You could feel the bile rise, thinking back to the person they had tried to turn you into.Their attempts to marry you off to some boy from the community. Michael Dawson. A good boy, named after the archangel. A god-fearing boy just barely old enough to drive a car. In the year before your parents had told you about their plans, you had barely exchanged two sentences with him. But still, it was blatantly obvious to everyone who looked at him and at the way he looked at Paul for even a second, that this probably wouldn’t have been the happy and sacred marriage your parents had envisioned for you.

When the blip first happened, it felt like you were set free from everything you hated so much. With your family gone, there was nothing holding you back from leaving the community while the rest turned to prayers and service. Just having turned 18 a couple of weeks ago, you’d grabbed the keys to your father’s truck and never looked back.

You caught a look of yourself in the mirror and thought about how far you'd come in the last 8 years. How much distance you'd put between your old life and this new one - regardless of how lost you still felt sometimes. You thought about how you moved to the big city and took up self-defense classes after a close call on your way home from work one night. How powerful you felt once you’d realised you loved to fight and get stronger both physically and mentally. That now, there was very little that you couldn’t get through because you didn’t have to rely on prayers anymore.

You pulled the dress down in the front, revealing more cleavage, and adjusted how your breasts sat in the built-in cups. The thought of your mother’s jaw falling to the floor at the sight of you in this get up, her hands doing quick work to bless herself, sent a smirk to your lips. You smoothed out the dress, letting your hands dance over the sides of your body while you admired yourself. The tightness of the dress, hugging you in just the right places, the skirt just long enough to cover the ass that you trained so hard for. Reapplying the dark red lipstick, you smacked your lips in a playful manner and ran your hand through your locks before leaving your room and joining the others in the common area of your shared apartment.

You could still hear the whistles Walker had sent your way, adding an approving 'looking good, [y/l/n]' after standing up straighter and looking you up and down. You rolled your eyes at him while you put your purse over your shoulder, and then adjusted the leather jacket thrown over your am.

"You clean up nice, too, I guess," you retorted and looked around the group.

Ava and Yelena had put themselves into their best party outfits as well, wearing a knowing smirk while putting up both thumbs, respectively. When your eyes landed on Bob, you could see a faint pink tint to his cheeks, and he quickly averted your gaze, nodding vigorously.

"Yeah, you look really nice... Really... nice, yeah!" He cleared his throat, the blush deepening a few shades. His jaw clenched and you smiled to yourself, having secretly hoped he'd like the way you'd dressed up.

When you'd first met him in the vault those few months ago, in the scrubs that seemed three sizes too big for him, he looked like a helpless puppy, his blue eyes so big and excited at what he'd stumbled into - literally. But then, when you saw what he was capable of, both as the Sentry and the Void and your interest in him grew. He was no longer just the sad, helpless puppy but something more intriguing. Someone with layers that you wanted to uncover one at a time.

After first moving to New York and into the Watchtower with the others, there weren't many chances for you two to interact, to get to know each other better. But when it became more and more obvious that he wasn't ready to be sent out into missions with the rest of the team just yet, you came up with the idea of rotating who would stay at home with him. The rest of the team welcomed the idea of it and so, whenever someone wasn't needed for the mission, they'd try and help Bob figure out how to channel his inner Sentry without also summoning the Void with it. Or they'd bake cakes or make dinner for when the others came back.

You'd stayed back with him two times at that point but every time you asked if he wanted to join you for a gym session or for a swim in the new pool, he'd come up with excuses. Saying he'd sprained his ankle the last time he was working out with Bucky or that he'd just done his daily laps in the morning and was looking forward to reading that one book he didn't have the chance to get to yet. The first time around, you figured he was just a little anti-social and needed some more time to get comfortable but then you heard about how Yelena had gotten him to punch the punching bag so forcefully that it came off the hinges and flew to the other side of the gym and how even Walker could convince him to try some new technique to compartmentalise.

When he declined your invitation to watch a movie the second time you stayed behind, you grew weary, scared that you'd done something wrong or that he just simply didn't like you at all. That the interest you had in him wasn’t reciprocated. But, seeing him blush at the sight of you all dolled up set the tiny bit of hope you still had ablaze once more. On the way to the bar, you caught yourself disengaging from the conversation, coming up with ideas or ways to get him on his own, hoping that he’d be more forthcoming once he had a drink or two in him.

~~~

The feeling of arms slipping around your waist brought you back to the bar and to the song you were mindlessly singing along to. Hands were moving down to your waist, holding onto you as you swayed your hips from side to side. Your eyes travelled down your figure, thinking that maybe it was one of the guys playing a trick on you but then you didn't recognise the tattoos winding up the left forearm and into the rolled up sleeves. Your head turned to the side, trying to catch a glimpse of you had come up behind you but you couldn’t quite make out who it was, an uneasy feeling settling in your stomach.

Looking around for the girls, you saw that Ava and Yelena had gone back over to the bar, probably to get you guys some drinks. Also sitting at the bar, you made out Walker, Bob and Bucky - the latter engaged in a conversation with some girl desperately trying to get his number from the way she pushed her phone into his direction, a bright smile on her lips, despite the restrained expression on his face and him shaking his head repeatedly, pushing her phone back every time it made contact with his chest. 

Wildly gesticulating with every fiber of his being, Walker was talking to Bob, who was staring into the glass in front of him. You weren’t sure if he was just lost in thought or if he had one too many was getting overwhelmed by the loud music and people pushing past him in the crowded bar, his face inattentive to what Walker was talking about and his shoulders slumped. His gaze wandered over to you, as if he’d felt your eyes on him, and then to the guy behind you, his jaw clenching tightly. Just as quickly as his eyes had met yours, they were back on the remnants of whatever drink he had been musing before, his knuckles turning white in the dim light.

The arms around your hip pulled you back, bringing your attention back to the dancefloor, and you felt a very clammy shirt press into your shoulders before the smell of cheap alcohol mixed with even cheaper breath mints filled your nostrils. Your whole body tensed, when the guy’s right hand travelled back up your side and stopped just under your breast for a second, before moving to the front and up to your neck.

"Hey, Mama, you alone here," the voice slurred questioning, hot breath hitting your ear and neck, and sending goosebumps down your body. His hand was slowly wrapping around your neck and made you turn your head again. Out the corner of your eye, you could clock the name tag on his shirt, making out ‘Sam’ written in cursive stitches.

Feeling your throat close up from the stinging aroma of the cheap liquor he must've bathed in, you tried to push Sam’s arms off of your body, scratching at his skin. But his grip didn’t budge one bit, only growing tighter, his nails digging in through the fabric of your dress and into your neck.

Your desperate pleas for him to let go of you seemed to be useless, lost to the loud music coming from the speakers in every corner of the dance floor. But you couldn't get anything out above a feeble whisper, tears brimming in your eyes while snippets of the last time you went to a bar raced through your brain.

"Why are you so tense? Let's have some fun, baby," Sam pushed and started to grind into you from behind, his dick getting harder with every move, pressing into your behind.

Again, you looked around for the rest of the team, hoping someone would notice your struggle and come over to help. But Ava and Yelena were nowhere to be seen, and Walker must’ve gone out to get some fresh air with Bucky because they weren’t where you had last seen them either. The only team member you could still make out was Bob, sitting at the bar with his back turned to you, waving down the bartender for another drink.

Realising you were on your own in this one, you tried to turn around, to get some leverage on him and were just able to turn your face away when he leant down and tried to press a kiss to your lips. 

“I told you to leave me be,” you repeated forcefully, your flat hand landing on his cheek in a satisfying slap.

An urgent cry left your mouth, then, and the force behind your shove grew stronger, pushing Sam away from you and making him lose his balance. He stumbled back a step or two before he caught himself again, glaring at you.

He pushed up his sleeves again and started to come at you, an evil sneer on his face.

"What's your fucking problem, bitch,” he spat and looked you up and down, stepping closer slowly.

“You dress like that, and then you turn into a prude when -"

He was cut off short when a fist met his jaw and threw him into the people surrounding you, a tooth and a spray of blood flying from his mouth. You looked at who had landed that blow, still unable to fully comprehend what had just happened.

To your right, there stood Bob, his mouth hanging open a bit and his eyes glowing a dangerous golden colour. You hadn't noticed him getting up from the bar and coming over, but you were deeply grateful for him doing so, scared of what would've happened if he hadn't stepped in.

When he realised what he'd done, he shook his head slightly, the blue returning to his eyes once more, and he got ready to fight. With his fists raised in front of his face, he waited for the other guy to get back up again.

“What do you want, you limp noodle of a man, huh? You just got lucky with that one, fella.” The other guy pointed at Bob before spitting blood onto the light-up dance floor and cracking his neck, walking up to Bob. When he was still a few steps from him, Bob threw another punch, this time with even more force behind it and knocking Sam right out. There was a dark air around him, blackness enveloping his fist and travelling up his arm right before your eyes.

“She told you to leave her alone, asshat,” the Void growled, his voice several shades darker than that of Bob.

Looking at the limp figure before him for a split second, the Void went back in, throwing punch after punch, the black hand glistening from what must have been even more blood. Scared of what he’d do to Sam, you tried pulling Bob off of him, whispering into his ear that it was enough and for him to come back to you.

“Bob, please. He’s down already”, you begged and finally got enough strength to drag him away. Cupping his face, you tried to get Bob to focus on you and the black started to recede from his arms, his bloody hand cradling your face in return. It took a moment for the blue to return to his eyes again, for his jaw to unclench and the deep frown to relax a little.

"Are you ok, [y/n]?” Bob’s voice had gotten softer, his eyes searching yours for any sign of lasting harm. 

"Yeah, I think I just need some fresh air," you murmured and held onto his shirt, your legs feeling like jell-o all of a sudden.

Bob wrapped a protective arm around your back when he felt you dip against his stature and pulled you closer, his eyes going to somewhere behind you. He gulped loudly and you looked over your shoulder at what he’d seen.

"You two!" The security guard pointed at you and Bob, and then motioned for you to get out of there.

"Congrats, you just earned yourself a no-return ticket out of this bar," the guard added, and Bob started sputtering, trying to argue about how Sam had started it, how he was just trying to protect you and that Sam should be the one getting kicked out of the bar instead. Picking up the bloody mess that the Void had turned Sam into, the security guard started for the door, looking over his shoulder as if waiting for us to follow him.

"Oh, don't worry, he's going with you!" The guard pushed Bob towards the back exit, Bob's shoulders slumping a little before making his way out of the group of onlookers, pulling you with him by the hand. You intertwined your fingers with his, trying not to lose him while pushing through the mass.

"Our friends are still inside," you tried when you got outside, but the security guard wouldn't have any of it, telling you 'life sucks' and 'better luck next time' while propping Sam up against the wall of the back alley. Without another word, he made for the back entrance before the door fell shut on him, and then disappeared into the turmoil inside the bar.

Looking around the dark alleyway, Bob scoffed before turning towards you, an angry look on his face.

"What a dick!"

You just shrugged your shoulders and felt tears well up in your eyes again, the shock of the situation wearing down and the fear taking over once more. When you tugged at his hand, Bob looked down, realising he was holding your hand, fingers intertwined, and let go before scratching the back of his head.

"Sorry, I didn't realise..."

He wiped his hands on his shirt, the blood staining the white shirt he was wearing under the flannel, and apologised again. When the first tears started to roll down your cheeks, a sob left your mouth and pulled his gaze back to you. His eyes widened in shock and his jaw went slack again, his brows knitting together in a regretful frown.

"Oh, no... I didn't mean to... [y/n], please don't cry..." He came up to you and cupped your cheeks, looking into your eyes deeply before wrapping his arms around you tightly. "I'm sorry... I just get really clammy hands whenever I feel... overwhelmed… And well, the blood and all…"

The embrace was warm, his arms feeling like a protective blanket wrapping around you, shielding you from any more harm. You sidled up to him, relishing in the comfort the hug offered against the cold air of night-time New York in early December. You stayed wrapped in his arms for a second, silent tears rolling down your cheeks while you tried to gather yourself, listening to the faint sound of his heart beating rapidly.

When you heard the groggy groans of the figure behind you, you tensed again and looked up at Bob, his face breaking further when he saw your tear-stained cheeks.

"Can you please get me out of here," you begged, grabbing a fistful of his shirt, and he nodded quickly before letting one arm fall down from its place around your frame and cupping your cheek.

"Yeah, sure. Just tell me where to," he affirmed, wiping away the latest tears with the pad of his thumb. When he realised that you were shivering, he shimmied out of his flannel, wrapping it around your shoulders and mumbling ‘here, this should keep you warm’ under his breath.

"Just take me home, please." You pulled the soft fabric around you tighter, the warm scent of cedarwood and vanilla mixed with his own warm smell enveloping your senses.

He nodded again and turned towards the exit of the alleyway, his right arm wrapping around your shoulder again while he led you towards the main street.

~~~

You guys spent the first few minutes of your walk in silence, not sure how to make conversation after what had happened.

That was until you were stood at a red light and Bob turned towards you, his arm having fallen from around you a few blocks ago.

"I'm sorry, I got us kicked out of the bar," he apologised and put his hands in the front pockets of his jeans, the uneasy look from earlier making its way back onto his face, knitting his eyebrows together and making him pull his bottom lip between his teeth.

"You really seemed to have a good time until that fucker turned up," Bob went on and you shrugged, the fun from earlier already a distant memory in the racing tornado of thoughts wreaking havoc in your mind.

"It was alright", your voice was low and you kicked at the burger wrapping left behind on the sidewalk, hoping you'd be able to boot the haunting images of past trauma away with it.

"Maybe it's stupid, but I kinda wanted to dance with you up there", Bob admitted, looking off towards the traffic light on the other side of the crossing. 

His fingers were mindlessly fidgeting with the brand label at the hem of his shirt, a nervous habit you had observed so often when you were around him. When his gaze met yours, the small smile playing on his lips sent butterflies to your stomach, a warmth you hadn't felt in ages rushing up your arms and down your back.

"You looked really beautiful, you know. In the lights, lost to the music. Like you were somewhere else entirely and you didn't have a care in the world", he added, a chuckle at the end of his sentence, and his eyes sparkled, reflecting the cool light of the headlights lining the street.

"I would have liked that", you admitted, offering him a warm smile in return before turning your attention to the changing traffic light indicating you were allowed to cross the street.

“You wouldn’t have enjoyed that for long though,” he replied, chuckling to himself again, before looking over to where you were walking by his side. “I am a really terrible dancer. Like… I’ve totally got two left feet. Just the thought makes me feel sorry for your toes.”

He struck a pose and wiggled his butt to imaginary music when he reached the sidewalk, looking over his shoulder at you with his bottom lip between his teeth and trying his best to look seductive.

This had you laughing loudly then, holding onto his arm for support and putting your head against his shoulder, your eyes closing in appreciation.

“Thank you! I really needed that right now, Bob,” you got out between laughs and grinned up at him, the butterflies in your stomach making you feel like you were 14 all over again.

“Always at your service, m’lady.” He bowed and winked at you before continuing his way down the street, pulling you with him by the hand.

~~~

“Ok, so, I’m gonna hop in the shower real quick, but how about we put on some music after and have that dance party”, you suggested, walking through the elevator doors and looking over your shoulder at Bob, who had an easy smile on his face, his cheek a healthy shade of pink from all the laughing.

He put his arms out and grabbed a hold of the lapelles of the flannel you were still wearing, pulling you back closer to him before wrapping his arms around your frame in a tight hug. You snuggled up to him, ignoring the bloody streaks on his shirt and buried your head against his chest.

“What’s that for,” you asked, looking up at him from under your lashes and trying to keep yourself from blushing at the softness in his eyes.

“I just felt like hugging you, that’s all,” he admitted, shrugging his shoulders. “You looked so cuddly in the dim light, wrapped up in my flannel.”

The words left his mouth quietly, barely above a whisper and when he realised he’d said it aloud, his eyes grew wide, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down in a thick gulp. After trying to find the right words to reply to this and coming up empty, you pushed up on your tiptoes and put a quick kiss on his cheek. Scared you took it too far, you wriggled out of the embrace and turned to the general direction of your bedroom, leaving Bob standing near the elevator, his fingers repeatedly running over the spot that you had just kissed, his eyes glued to where you had just stood and his mouth opening and closing rapidly.

“Remember, dance party in the living room in ten minutes,” you yelled over your shoulder and vanished in your bedroom.

~~~

You connected your phone to the speakers in the living room, sneaking up to Bob sitting on the couch and wrapped your arms around his neck, a giant grin playing at your lips.

“Ready to dance, Bob,” you whispered in his ear cheekily, drawing out his name and letting your hands run down his chest while your towel dried hair fell around you.

He grabbed your wrists and pulled you over the back of the couch swiftly, making you land with your head in his lap, his hand quickly moving to your hip to keep you from rolling off the couch.

“You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into,” he joked and pulled you up with him, his arm wrapped around you and letting his hand rest on the small of your back.

“Well, if you dance anything like what you showed me down on that street corner, I’m in for a hell of a time.” You pulled your phone from the pocket of the shorts you had gotten into after the shower and looked through your playlist for a good song to start with.

“Here, I think this will be a good one,” you mumbled, choosing ‘Me because of You’ by the Faim, and wiggled your eyebrows at him playfully, when the song started playing over the speakers.

 “Ok, I think I can work with this,” he said, nodding his head and moving the coffee table off to the side to make more room for us to have fun. He stretched his arms and cracked his neck, starting with a simple step-touch and moving his shoulders to the beat of the song.

You studied him for a second, suddenly a little scared of what he might think of you if you just let loose and have fun. He motioned for you to come closer and you followed his request, stepping closer and trying to keep from laughing, when he faked licking his pointer and pinky and smoothing his eyebrows over.

“Come on, you can’t hold back now, [y/n],” he yelled over the music and pulled me closer right when the song said ‘dance with me, feel the beat, follow my lead’. He placed your hands on his shoulders and then put his hands on your waist again, starting to waltz with you for a whole two seconds before both of you burst out laughing.

“You wanted to dance with me. So, dance, love,” he added and moved his body to the beat again.

“I’m nervous,” you confessed, running your hands over the clean shirt he put on while you were in the shower, and looked at him, biting your lip restlessly.

“Close your eyes and just imagine I’m not here. You’re alone in your room where no one can see you. And then do what you do,” he tried, brushing a strand of towel dried hair out of your face.

“If it helps, I can close my eyes, too,” he offered and put his hands over his eyes, peeking through his fingers.

“Fine,” you grumbled and moved away from him a little, turning your back on him but then looking back over your shoulder to make sure he had his eyes covered.

When you saw that he really wasn’t peeking, you started to move and smiled to yourself, feeling the music take over your body and jumping up and down giddily. After a few seconds, you started to sing along and moved freely, turning around and shimmying your shoulders and nodding your head.

“Are you doing it? Are you dancing,” he asked, still covering his eyes but moving his hips to the beat.

You peeled his hands from his eyes and pulled him into the middle of the carpet, making him stumble over his own feet. He opened one eye, looking at your dancing figure, and you tried to hide the smirk playing at your lips. He joined in with dancing and pursed his lips, concentrating on his moves so as not to stumble over his own feet again.

When the chorus started to play for the last time, he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer again, and started swaying with you, his head on top of yours. He intertwined his fingers with yours and then moved away from you, extending his arms before stepping in again. He threw your arms over his shoulders and stepped past you before turning around quickly, to repeat this spiel another time, though instead of simply stepping past you, he wrapped his arms around your shoulders, swaying from side to side.

Bob sang along to the words, his voice in your ear as his head dipped down a little and then he spun you around and caught you in his arms again more masterfully than he had led on to believe before.

“Tonight, I’ve changed, yeah. I’m only me because of you.” He put his cheek against yours and hummed happily, picking you up and twirling you around.

When the song had ended, he held you in place, your forehead resting against his. His gaze was moving back and forth between your eyes and your lips, his breath having grown a little shallow. You could feel his hand travel up your side and then caress your cheek, his face coming closer until you could feel his shallow breath on your lips, the tips of your noses just millimeters away from each other.

Expecting him to close the last bit of distance, you closed your eyes and turned your head upwards a little, your heart beating rapidly inside your chest. The moments until he finally put his lips to yours felt like an eternity, millions of thoughts running through your brain, the anticipation of what it’d feel like to kiss him raising goosebumps across your body. When he finally closed the distance and kissed you, his lips were soft, moving against yours slowly at first and then you deepened the kiss, moving your hand to the back of his head. Your other hand ran up his chest, feeling his pecs flex under your touch. 

When your teeth sank into his bottom lip, he let out a soft moan and you slipped your tongue into his mouth, exploring it carefully and moving your tongue in sync with his. His hand grabbed a fistful of your shirt and he moved you back over to the couch, letting you drop into his lap when the couch hit the back of his legs and he sat down.

You straddled him, your left arm wrapping around him to hold onto the backrest to keep you from falling into him, while your right hand ran through the hair at the back of his head, pulling on it softly, when one of his hands moved up the outside of your thigh to your hip.

He pulled away from you for a second, trying to catch his breath, his mouth hanging open a little while he searched your eyes for any sign of regret. When he couldn’t find any but instead realised that your mouth had split into a bright smile, he chuckled cheerfully and kissed you again hungrily.

With the kisses getting more and more heated, you started grinding into him, the aching need for feeling him closer growing in the pit of your stomach. When you rolled your hips a little extra hard, he groaned deeply and the grip of his hand on your hip grew stronger, a pleasant pain running up your spine and making you throw your head back.

His lips went to your neck, peppering hot, open-mouthed kisses on the soft skin and then he started sucking on the pulse point underneath your ear, biting and licking and driving you into overdrive. The fingers buried in his hair pulled on his locks and his growing bulge started to rub up against you just the right way when he bucked his hips in response.

“We… should probably…”, he started in between kisses and you nodded mindlessly, trying to get as much friction from grinding down into him harder. 

“Fuck, [y/n], ok, wait…” He stopped you from moving your hips by wrapping his arm around you and pulling you impossibly close, and then made you look him in the eyes before going on: “I can’t do it like this… If I have you, I want all of you.”

You gulped at this, realising he wasn’t joking and felt your jaw go slack.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, but I will not let this be how I have you for the first time.” His thumb caressed your cheek and he kissed you softly, his forehead falling to yours, probably fighting the urge to just have you right then and there.

“Then take me to your room, Bob,” you mumbled breathlessly when he pulled away again, nuzzling your face with his in a love-drunken state. You placed soft kisses all over his face, earning a little chuckle from him, when you moved down to his neck, his head falling back to give you more room to work with.

“[y/n], god, you drive me crazy,” he moaned and let his hands slip underneath your shirt, sending shivers down your spine from the tiny sparks his touch left on your skin. Letting out a ‘mh-hm’ in response, you ran your thumb over his bottom lip and kissed him again, your tongue slipping into his mouth easily.

His hands went down your back and held onto your ass when he picked you up in one smooth motion, your legs wrapping around his hips to gain more stability. Your arms snaked around his neck and a chuckle escaped your mouth when he stumbled over the couch on his way out of the living room, holding you in space with one arm while he steadied himself.

“How about we stop kissing until we’re actually in your bedroom,” you joked and he nodded, telling you ‘that’s a good idea’ before making his way over to his bedroom, his steps quick and assertive.

“Wait, we still have to turn off the music,” you realised when you were halfway down the hallway and Bob stopped dead in his tracks, sighing heavily. He looked back over his shoulder and you could see the cogs work behind his eyes, trying to decide what to do.

“Ok, you go turn off the music and I’ll get everything ready?”

Setting you down on the floor, he pecked your lips and then slapped your ass, making you jump a little and hurry back to the living room. You made quick work of turning off the music and grabbing your phone, eager to get back to Bob and what you were doing, running back down the hallway to where his bedroom was. Sliding in through the door, you stopped when you saw that Bob was on the phone with someone, holding up a finger to you just as you wanted to ask what was wrong.

“Oh, no, y’all can stay out longer. No… No. [y/n] wasn’t feeling too hot, so I took her home.” He looked at the floor for a second, scratching his head while trying to understand Yelena over the thumping music on the other side of the line. “I think she’s sleeping already. No… I don’t think she’ll mind! Go have fun, you guys,” he added and then ended the call after telling Yelena goodbye.

“Is everything ok,” you enquired, walking up to him and putting your phone on his desk, the screen lighting up and showing you had a couple of missed calls from Yelena and Ava. He matched you and put his phone down next to yours, before turning back to you and searching your face for a second.

“Yeah, they were just worried where we went and because they couldn’t reach us earlier.”

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer and brushing the hair from the slope of your neck, adding a ‘so, where were we’ before running his fingers over the soft skin under your chin.

“Are they coming back already?” You asked, your head falling back when Bob started to kiss your neck.

“No, there’s this party at another bar they wanna check out.” He bit your neck playfully and then nuzzled the side of your face, telling you that the two of you should be in the clear for the next few hours. He picked you up again and walked over to his bed, dropping you in the middle of the mattress before climbing onto the mattress and kneeling down between your legs.

“Next few hours? What do you have planned,” you asked cheekily, your hands working on taking off his shirt.

“I’m gonna take my time with you, love,” he replied, helping you to get him out of his shirt and kissing you passionately.

Your fingertips ran over his abs and up into his hair again and you pulled him down with you, moaning when his hips settled between yours like puzzle pieces fitting together perfectly.

“God, you sound so good when you moan,” he whined desperately, his hand caressing your cheek and then running through your hair. “You sound so much better than I could ever imagine.”

“You imagined how I’d sound?” Your voice was barely a whisper, too much anticipation and desire clouding your brain already. The building tension in your core was painful at this point and you could feel your arousal gathering between your legs.

“More often than I’d like to admit, yes.” His kisses were growing hungrier with every passing second, his hands running down your sides, pulling at the fabric of your shirt and digging into the bare skin of your legs. He wanted to feel your skin and memorise every inch of it, having wanted to touch you for months now.

“What did you picture,” you asked, flipping you over and straddling his hips again, pulling your shirt over your head and grinding your hips into his rhythmically. His eyes were wandering over your torso, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip before he sat up and wrapped his arms around you to work on undoing your bra. When he’d opened the clasp in the back, he slipped the straps down your shoulders, kissing the freckles that dusted your skin there.

“The way you’d sound… How you’d taste…” He pulled your face closer, his fingers on your chin, and placed his lips on yours again, this time slow and deep. His other hand came up to your right breast and cupped it, running his thumb over your nipple hardening from the relative cold in the room. “How you’d look taking me. The way your face breaks when I make you cum…”

He bucked his hips, his clothed erection pushing up into your clit and you gasped, running your fingernails over his abs, your head falling forwards to rest on his shoulder. You moved your hips with his, the layered fabric of your shorts and panties rubbing up against your core with every thrust of his hips. It had been a while since you last were intimate with someone, so you could already feel the knot in your lower stomach begin to tighten, your breath hitching when Bob’s tongue licked over your sensitive nipple before taking your breast into his mouth.

Your hand travelled further south and you lifted your hips, dipping your fingers into the waistband of his joggers, realising he wasn’t wearing any boxers underneath when you made contact with his hot skin. Trying to meet his eyes, you lifted your eyebrows in surprise and he shrugged, letting go of your breast with a popping sound.

“Hey, a guy can hope, right,” he tried to defend himself and smirked at you, when you pushed him down onto the mattress, while your other hand slipped into his joggers fully and wrapped around his hard length. He was bigger than you’d imagined, thicker too, and at the thought of having him inside of you, your pussy started to ache deliciously and eager.

You pumped your hand up his length slowly and his eyes rolled up into his head, his jaw hanging open slightly, a string of curses and whines leaving his mouth. Seeing him enjoy your touch this much, sent you into overdrive, and you moved off his legs, pulling down his joggers with you, before throwing them to the other corner of his room. His erection sprang free and you took in the sight before you, Bob leaning on his elbows, completely naked and looking sexier than you ever dreamt up.

Running your hands through your hair, you felt your cheeks heat up and hid your face in your hands, chuckling to yourself for a second.

“What? [y/n], what’s wrong? Did I do something wrong,” he asked, worry evident in his voice while he moved to sit up a little, his hands on your shoulders.

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong,” you started and took a deep breath, letting your hands fall from your face and meeting his eyes. “It’s just been a while and I… Well, I didn’t think I’d ever end up in this situation,” you added, your eyes darting over the smile lines appearing around his eyes and the dimple in his right cheek. “I think, it just hit me that this is happening, you know?”

He nodded, understanding you perfectly well, his thumb caressing your cheek before he kissed you. His arms wrapped around your shoulders and he laid you down gently, settling between your legs. You deepened the kiss, running your left hand through his dark locks while your right hand travelled down his back and settled on his hips. You wrapped one of your legs around his hip and smiled into the kiss, enjoying the feeling of his skin on your own.

“Like I said, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. And we can take our time, there’s no rush. Not tonight,” he murmured against your lips, his forehead resting on yours between soft kisses.

“I want you, Bob,” you whispered, searching his eyes, the blue of them having darkened by lust. “I want all of you.”

His face split into a bright grin and he let his head fall to the crook of your neck, hiding his own nervousness by peppering your skin with kisses again. His left hand moved down your side and to the leg wrapped around his hip as he angled his hip a little, his erection brushing up against your core again. You moaned softly and tried to meet him better, your leg snaking around him more tightly.

“If we’re really gonna do this, then we’re gonna do this right,” Bob said, his voice darker than before and sending shivers down your spine.

He pulled away from you, his fingertips moving to the waistband of your shorts and he pulled them down your legs, your panties coming off with them. Bob tossed them over to where his joggers had landed and spread your legs slowly, taking you in and biting on his bottom lip, his eyes sparkling in the dim light from his bedside lamp. He let his fingers dance over the inside of your legs, drawing loose shapes on your skin from your ankles up to your hips and then grabbed one of his pillows from above your head. You lifted your hips and he put the pillow under your ass, settling between your legs and looking at you intently from under his lashes.

“You sure you wanna do this? You can say no or stop me at any time,” he assured you and you nodded, biting down on the knuckle of your index finger in anticipation, butterflies making somersaults in your tummy. He lowered his head and blew on you, earning himself a low whimper from you, the air feeling cold against your wet pussy. He ran a finger up between your folds and chuckled, sending vibrations through your core from how close his mouth was to your center.

“God, you’re already so wet and I haven’t even done anything.”

His finger slipped into your vagina with ease and the squelching sound that was heard by him pulling it out again, made the blush on your cheeks deepen. He pushed his finger back in and then curled it, making you moan his name loudly as he brushed your g-spot. He repeated this a couple of times while his tongue ran along the outside of your folds, slowly making its way inwards. When he finally ran the tip of his tongue up your folds and flicked your clit, your hips bucked, another moan falling from your lips, having him hum in response.

“You taste so good, babe.” He lapped at you and then slowed down again, the tip of his tongue circling your clit and then flicking it with a masterful tab, sending sparks up your spine and making your toes curl. Your fingers buried into his locks again and you pulled on them, pulling him closer in an attempt to get even more friction.

“Mhm, do you like that,” he asked, meeting your gaze and smirking cheekily.

“Yeah, feels good, Bob,” you moaned, your head falling back down and your eyes rolling back when he removed his finger from your hole and circled your pussy with the tip of his tongue. Then, he added another finger up, running them through your folds and back down towards your vagina before thrusting them in, this time a little more forcefully.

You yelped in surprise and pulled on his hair, your legs going a little numb. He waited to move his fingers for a second, looking down at how his fingers had disappeared in you completely and then pulled them back out a bit, curling the same way he did before, brushing over your g-spot again. When he’d found a good rhythm that had you breathing heavily, the knot tightening in your stomach, he put his mouth on you again and pushed you over the edge, your toes curling while your legs tensed around his head. One of your hands left his head to move to the bedsheets, gripping it hard as pleasure rushed over your body like a tidal wave.

“Fuck, Bob, you feel so good.”

You were writhing under him, Bob relentlessly licking up your juices while you clawed at his shoulders and rode the highs of the orgasm coursing through your body. The wet noises of his fingers pumping in and out of you filled your ears and you felt another wave of the orgasm rain down on you when his teeth scraped over your sensitive nub before flicking it again with his tongue. You could feel your walls clamp down around his fingers and then heard him chuckle deeply, before his arm pushed down on your hips, keeping you in place.

He kept at it, fingering you and eating you out, only coming up from between your legs when you started to come down from the high, your breath still rushed and shallow. You ran your hand through your hair, and looked at him, moving up your body, his lips glistening from your arousal and his spit mixed together. He put his fingers into his mouth and sucked your juices off of them, closing his eyes in ecstasy and the corners of his mouth pulling up in a smile, after he pulled his fingers out again.

“God, that was so hot,” he breathed, putting his lips to yours and kissing you hungrily. You nodded, deepening the kiss by slipping your tongue into his mouth and tasting yourself on his tongue. Your hand ran down his torso and wrapped around his length again, your thumb wiping over his tip and feeling the sticky precum leaking out of him. With your brain still hazy from your recent orgasm, you pushed him down onto the mattress and started peppering kisses on his neck, moving down to his clavicle and his chest, the nails of your free hands scratching over his chest, while the other one pumped his length slowly.

When you were on the same level with his dick, you looked up at him and opened your mouth, taking him in as far as you could, your hand still wrapped around the part of him that didn’t fit into your mouth anymore. You started bobbing your head up and down his length and his fingers ran through your hair, his hand cupping the back of your head and aiding you in keeping an enjoyable rhythm, while whines and moans fell from his lips.

“Oh, fuck. You’re better than I ever imagined,” he whined, his hips bucking and his dick hit the back of your throat. 

Your eyes travelled back up his figure and you opened your mouth a little further, trying to take more of him. Tears were brimming at the corners of your eyes and your own arousal started running down the inside of your leg, so you moved your free hand to your clit, rubbing yourself while sucking him off.

After a couple more bobs of your head, Bob groaned loudly, his hips tensing and his grip on your hair getting harder. His cum spilled onto your tongue and you swallowed it, humming in enjoyment, while continuing the motion of your hand pumping up and down his length. Feeling another orgasm approaching from your own fingers between your legs, you moaned, some residual cum of his running out the corner of your mouth and dripping on his length.

Biting down on your lips, you looked up at him, his mouth hanging open at the sight of you pleasuring yourself. He motioned for you to come closer, pushing your hand away from between your legs to take over while pulling you into his lap again. You rested your head against his shoulder, while his fingers were drawing circles around your clit, pushing you ever closer to the edge. You could feel that you were getting overstimulated already and whined, wanting to get the release you so desperately needed. Pulling his lips to yours and kissing him hungrily, you moved your hips a little to meet his touch, his fingers slipping into you once more while the pad of thumb brushed up against your clitoris.

“Bob, don’t stop. Please, I’m so close,” you whined, your face falling at the pressure building in your core.

“Come on, baby. Come for me,” he whispered into your ear and nibbled on your earlobe, thrusting his fingers into you deeper and curling them on their way out.

Feeling his tongue lick over your pulse point was enough to make you fall over the edge again, his fingers brushing your g-spot again and again, sparks flying between your bodies. Your nails dug into his back and you rode his fingers, moaning his name at the top of your lungs.

“God, I love it when you moan my name like that.” 

He put you back down on the mattress, knowing you’d need the support of the bed beneath you, your legs having turned to jelly and shaking from all of the stimulation. Your chest was rising and falling quickly while you tried to catch your breath, absolutely exhausted from two big orgasms so close together.

“Do you need a little break,” he asked, laying down next to you and running his fingers up and down your sides. You turned your head toward his and the look on his face was so soft, caring and full of love, making your heart ache at being the object of his adoration. You nodded, still unable to form words, the last after waves of your orgasm having your ears ringing and your fingertips feeling numb.

Bob pulled you a little closer, wiping the beads of sweat from your forehead, and placed soft kisses all over your face, telling you how beautiful you were. How lucky he was to be here with you at that moment. How he never thought this would actually happen.

“You know, I thought you didn’t like me,” you told him, your voice still barely a whisper, your fingers starting to draw circles on his chest while his fingertips did the same on your shoulder blade. “That you didn’t want to spend time with me when the others were gone because you secretly hated me.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever liked anyone as much as I like you,” he said softly, his hand cupping your face and making you look at him, before going on: “I’m sorry that I made you feel like I hated you, but it is clearly the very opposite.”

He kissed you then, softly and with all the love he felt for you. Your lips melted against his and a warmth spread in your chest, creeping up the back of your neck and rolling over your legs and into your tiptoes. This kiss was different, it wasn’t hungry or desperate but still intense in its own way. Even after everything the two of you just did, you felt closer to Bob now, his arms wrapping around you tighter and flipping you on your back again, your legs intertwined lazily and his broad chest like a shield keeping you safe.

You stayed like that for a little while then, making out and exploring each other’s body slowly, your touch soft and meaningful, as if you wanted to memorise every inch of the other’s figure. You couldn’t say how long you were just lying there, enjoying each other’s presence and forgetting everything around you. It could’ve been five minutes or it could’ve been an hour but it didn’t matter to you because you were right where you wanted to be. Wrapped in his arms, having his lips on yours and feeling his delicate touch on your body.

His lips ran over your shoulders, dusting the freckles with love, while your lips grazed his collarbone, your fingers gripping his ass cheeks and earning you a high pitched giggle from him.

“Are you ticklish,” you enquired, a cheeky smirk on your lips and he shook his head vigorously, trying to push your hands off of him.

“No, of course I’m not ticklish. What makes you think that?” He rolled his eyes and tried to put a little distance between you two, his hands swatting at you trying to poke his sides.

“I don’t know. That very manly giggle that just slipped past your lips, maybe,” you teased and his jaw dropped, so threw yourself at him playfully, making him lose his balance and taking you down with him.

“I don’t know what you're talking about. What giggle?” He grinned up at you and cupped your cheek, pulling you down to him and kissing you again passionately.

With your leg thrown over his hip, you could feel him getting hard again and you moved your hips, straddling him once more. You purred softly at his length pressing up against your folds and instinctively grinded down on him, coating the underside of his dick in your arousal. Bob’s hand gripped your hip and he stopped you from moving for a second.

“Wait, I’ve got condoms in the drawer over there,” he murmured, motioning to his bedside table, and his voice broke when you rolled your hips into his again.

“I’m on the pill, so,” you started, kissing him quickly and then added: “I’m good either way.”

He looked at you and for a second, his brows knitted together in a frown. He let his thumb run over your bottom lip and you stopped moving, lifting your hips a little before leaning over to his bedside table.

“I just wanna make sure nothing unexpected happens, you know,” he started to explain and you looked over your shoulder, opening the drawer slowly.

“Bob, hey. It’s ok, really!” Your hand looked for the packet of condoms and took one out when you found it, before turning back to him. “I’m glad you wanna be safe, love.” You cupped his cheek and smiled at him, placing a quick kiss on his lips. 

You opened the shiny packaging and took out the condom, turning it over in your fingers to have it the right way around. Pinching the tip of it, you looked at Bob and asked him if he was ready. When he nodded, inching closer to you, you grabbed his length and put the condom on, pushing the rubbery material down his length easily. His hand came up to caress your cheek and he kissed you softly, his fingers burying in the hair at the back of your head while you climbed onto him, straddling his hips again.

With your hand still wrapped around his length, you guided his dick along your folds and then lowered onto it, moaning at the burning sensation of his thickness stretching you slowly. Bob’s jaw dropped and he groaned at slipping into you, his teeth digging into your bottom lip. You stayed there for a second, trying to adjust to the feeling of him filling you up so well and held onto his shoulders before you lifted your hips again slowly. The delicious pain of his size slipping in and out of you made your brain go foggy and you sank down onto him with more ease this time. Picking up the pace, you threw your head back and rode Bob’s dick, his right hand on your breast, kneading the tissue while his tongue worked on the nipple of your other breast. His left hand was on your hip, guiding you as you took him.

“Mhm, you fill me up so well, Bob,” you mused and bounced on him, the pain having turned to pleasure a few thrusts ago. His mouth let go of your breast and he pulled your face down, kissing you hungrily and he bucked his hips into yours and slipping in deeper with the next thrust, bottoming out. You moaned into his mouth loudly and let a giggle fall over your lips as you noticed the familiar feeling of your orgasm nearing.

He stopped moving for a second and turned you around, so you were beneath him and then he grabbed your right leg and moved it from around his hips to have it over his shoulder instead, changing the angle at which he thrusted into you.

Bob groaned against your mouth as he bottomed out again, his balls slapping against your ass with the next thrust and you let out a moan of his name, your nails digging into his back.

“Ugh, you’re so tight, babe. Feel so good,” he slurred and went to town on you, thrusting in and pulling back out, his bed groaning under his movements.

“You gotta tell me if I’m too rough,” he whispered into your ear, enveloping you with his form and leaning on his elbow while his other hand held onto your leg.

“No, it’s good. So good, Bob,” you assured, relishing in the feeling of him filling you up to the brim and stretching you with every thrust. You knew that you were close again, the knot twisting and tightening and you reached between your bodies, your fingers working on your clit while his dick slipped in and out of you at an exquisite pace.

He looked down at where your bodies met and whined, his forehead falling to yours. The sound of skin hitting skin filled the room and you were glad that the rest of the team was still out, fearing just how much they would’ve been able to hear of what you two were doing.

“[y/n], fuck, you feel so good. I don’t know how much longer I can…” The movement of his hips got a little sloppy and you kissed him again, steadying him with a hand on his ass while you tried to meet his thrusts with your hip.

“It’s ok, babe. Come, Bob. I’m right behind you,” you purred into his ear and his hips stuttered, a low groan falling from his lips. You moved your hips, helping him ride out his orgasm and kissed his closed lids, when he suddenly thrusted into you harder again, pushing you closer and over the edge.

You fell with him, your third orgasm of the night sending lighting through your whole body. You clung to his body, biting into his shoulder and scratching your nails over his back, earning a wince from him at the pain that seemed to send him into a flurry. Your walls clenched around him as your orgasm progressed and he put his lips on your neck, riding out your shared orgasm, his breathing quick and shallow.

When he came down from his high, he sighed, an exhausted but gratified look on his face, and laid down next to you. You curled up to him, throwing your arm over his chest and putting your head on his chest, listening to the rapid beating of his heart and his quick breath.

“Did I hurt you?” The question came suddenly and you looked at him, confused at where the concern was coming from.

“Why are you asking?”

“This was my first time since the medical trial,” he started and turned onto his side, wrapping his arm around your hip.

“No, you didn’t hurt me, Bob. Quite the opposite, actually.” You caressed his cheek and kissed him softly, before adding: “I enjoyed it very much, if you couldn’t tell.”

A proud smile pushed up the corners of his mouth and he shook his head, chuckling lightheaded.

“God, you’re an incredible woman, [y/n].”

[agirlwithglam]

☆.｡.: hygiene tips 🧴🧼

hiii! these are all the best hygiene tips that i've gathered from different sources over the years, not everything is 100% necessary to be consistent with, but its certainly good to apply them once in a while. lets begin! 🎀

LIPS:

taking care of your lips is exceptionally important, especially cus no one wants crusty dusty lips. ♡ use a lipscrub/ exfoliator maybe 1-3 times a week, as many times you need tbh.- diy recipe: sugar, coconut/oil, oil/vaseline, and honey. theres tons more recipes online in case you don't have all the ingredients ♡ apply! a! lip mask! before! bed! this ALWAYS helps me so much! especially since when i wake up i usually get crusty lips! ♡ apply vaseline through out the day so your lips always stay hydrated and soft. ♡ always carry a hydrating lip balm with you. this isnt a huge necessity, but its good to have one on hand in case your lips get dry <3 ♡ DO NOT LICK YOUR LIPS! you may think that it hydrates your lips and makes them less crack-y but licking your lips can actually make them a lot more dryer because your saliva contains enzymes that break down the skin on your lips which can lead to irritation and chapped lips ♡ drink water!! girl i'm not just saying that. go take a sip right now. drinking water is one of THE best things you can do for your lips as it hydrates them!

MOUTH/ TEETH:

ALWAYS brush your teeth, AT LEAST twice a day, obviously. ♡ did you know that most of the smelly bad breath is usually from your tongue? you can get rid of the bacteria that collects while you sleep by using a tongue scraper to get it off OR you can also simply use your toothbrush as an alternative and just brush down on your tongue. ♡ flossing! ♡ also, remember to change your toothbrush every couple months or whenever you start to notice fraying of the bristles.

NAILS:

take care of your nails girlie! they don't always have to be painted and expertly shaped, but its good to keep them clean. ♡ for a good clean/ washing, use warm water and mild soap to wash ur nails and scrub your nails gently with a soft brush (kinda like a toothbrush but don't use urs bc that would be nastyy lol) ♡ and remember to also take care of your cuticles- (its at the very bottom of your nail). push back your cuticles with either a cuticle pusher, or you could just do it with your nails, but NEVER cut them as that could cause an infection. pushing back your cuticles helps to create a cleaner nail plate, prevents hangnails, keeps the skin around your nail smoother, makes your nails appear longer and neater by removing dead skin cells, and more! also, apply cuticle oil/ lotion to keep it hydrated.

painting your nails: i LOVE painting my nails, who doesn't? here are some tips to get the best result when doing it. 1) clean your nails 2) shape your nails (using a nail filer) to the desired shape- almond, round, square, oval, silleto, etc. 3) apply base coat - (protects nails from staining + helps polish stay) 4) apply the nail polish! the best part right? you may want to do 1-3 coats of this to make sure the color is really there and not translucent. 5) apply top coat - makes it look glossy + lasts longer tada! we're done ! <3 i recomend listening to music/ subliminals or watching a movie or talking to a friend during this if u get bored. but honestly, sitting alone, painting your nails, soft music in the background and just getting lost in your thoughts and imagination is such a VIBE.

LASHES

♡ use castor oil or vitamin E on ur eyelashes before bed to make them grow thicker and longer! ♡ avoid pulling or tugging your eyelashes or rubbing to hardly ♡ you can apply vaseline to your lashes, but make sure that its only on the tips and not the roots of it as that can make ur lashes fall out

EARS:

when you're cleaning the inside, do NOT use a q-tip, you may think you're doing something, but it just pushes the wax more in. ♡ instead, in the shower/ after the shower, with your towel and GENTLY wipe the inside- don't apply too much pressure tho! ♡ also it's important to wipe around the ear as well- where the creases meet ur hair. there can be lots of dirt/ dust that collects so once in a while in the shower or with water, just wipe around that ear a bit- again, be careful!! ♡ lastly, also clean the outer bit of your ear, the earlobe- above & around the inside hole. again be gentle, your ear is a sensitive organ, and just use water to wipe around it carefully.

BMAC - if you'd like to support me!

[baphometsss]

On Solas' Mythal regret

Alright so this is just one thing I wanted to get out there. I'm not gonna do one big meta post bc I wanna break down specific things more easily. I hope it's not too jumbled

Spoilers

The Solas / Mythal regret takes place in the Fade.

“What if you left the Evanuris, and remained with me? Surely you must want freedom from this struggle?”

Solas says it not just for Mythal’s sake but for his own; he is essentially begging for her to return to the Fade with him so they can be as spirits again... He doesn’t want to be a person, he never did, and now he can’t return to that life. He was happy in the Fade until she drew him out. Mythal says ‘love’ because she knows that he doesn’t want to be there and she needs to keep him loyal in order to keep the Evanuris at bay. We know that Mythal is manipulative af and this is just more evidence of that.

It’s a regret not just because he couldn’t get Mythal to leave the Evanuris but because it’s the moment he gave up on himself. He knew he couldn’t leave Mythal to do it alone, because he did care for her, but also he was likely bound to her after she pulled him from the Fade. We know that pulling spirits from the Fade makes them lose a part of themselves; in this case, Mythal did this to him deliberately so he would fight in the war.

It was a trauma bond, similar to the bond between Cole, the spirit of compassion, and the real Cole who starved to death in a prison cell. Solas needed to provide Wisdom to prove his purpose, and Mythal kept calling on that. In Veilguard, it’s explicitly stated that as a former spirit, he cannot resist appeals to his true nature. With trauma bonds, you do lose your agency. It’s what they hinge on. The two things combined make for a toxic dynamic.

(I don’t particularly like this personally, but it's what seems to be the intent, but I digress.)

The hidden codex in the Lighthouse’s music room—memories of a duet—is significant in understanding their relationship. To me this is very revealing of their dynamic; Mythal took advantage of Solas when he wasn’t used to having a body and moulded him to be a weapon. She moulded him into the image she wanted him to take, and strung him along the entire time. There’s a big parallel between Divine Justinia/Leliana and Mythal/Solas. Leliana’s personal quest in DAI is about her loyalty to Divine Justinia, whom she sees as a mother and great friend. You can ask her if they were romantically involved, and she says that they were many things to each other, but not that. She too carries a huge amount of guilt for her death, to the point that it can break her if you don’t soften her early on in the game, and she becomes utterly ruthless. The end scene with Mythal releasing Solas from her service has many similarities to Justinia releasing Leliana from hers. Leliana and Justinia were united in part because of their shared spirituality and hopes for the Chantry, and Solas and Mythal were united by the connection they forged as spirits. ‘Being wholly seen…’ Leliana felt the same way about Justinia.

Solas also wore Mythal’s vallaslin, and burned it off his face when he rebelled against the Evanuris. As we know, those are slave markings. He was made to become her servant, and rebelled against her too when he started the rebellion against the Evanuris. (As a side note, and especially if you’ve played BG3, you’ll know how the loss of agency can stick around even after the connection to the abuser has been severed. Astarion’s ‘you made me see that I never stopped thinking of myself as his slave’ really springs to mind here, albeit in a different context.)

This is a big part of why I don’t think he was romantically involved with Mythal. I believe his main role to Mythal in the initial war was as a kind of spymaster, similar to how Leliana is the spymaster for Divine Justinia. Mythal taught Solas to behave in exactly the way she wanted him to.

In fact, in the Inquisitor’s customisation screen when you pick your romance, Solas’s explicitly says that even he didn’t foresee what it would mean to fall in love. So… he canonically hasn’t been in love before. He was not in love with Mythal.

I wanna be clear here; I don’t hate Mythal as such. I mean, I do, because she’s pretty fucked up, but you have to consider her nature. She was a spirit of benevolence. She wanted to take a form because she was afraid of what Elgar’nan would do to the world if she didn’t stop him. Even after taking a body, she can’t change her nature. It became twisted into retribution when she couldn’t stop them from harming the elves or trying to leash the blight. Honestly I could write a whole essay about Mythal too, but I won’t because I still have a ton to write about Solas and Lavellan, but we’ll see.

Anyway I’m gonna leave this one here but I’ll be back with more meta. I have a lot of get through

[mono-dot-jpeg]

bad decisions - i. sae, b. meguru & m. reo

summary; let's make some bad decisions.

genre/extra tags; rambling post?/scenarios???, fluff but not really, diet fluff, and diet angst, late night thoughts combined with day light thoughts, might be ooc

a/n; im gonna go out on a limb here and say you dont want yandere obsessive tendencies in the relationship (i dont write yandere bc i hate that trope and i dont understand the appeal). i only did three bc this was all i can think of, im so sorry- hope you enjoy this either way. thank you for requesting and for your patience.

i think we all saw this coming when i say, sae probably gotta have some odd habits and thoughts when it comes to being a relationship. he's precise and serious in his soccer, and that bleeds into his relationships. it has nothing to you, no, not when he's so used to seeing into every detail and every possibility. he keeps trying to predict what you will do, and then you surprise him when it's not what he expected. most of the time, this happens when you're just doing something without much thought. he gets kind of weird about it though, he just blue-screens and had to take a moment before asking what is wrong with you because you didn't do the thing he expected. you have to tell him that this is just how you are, and he refuses to be outsmarted by his partner when he's usually the one with the brain cell between you two.

he feels the need to check on you a lot because he doesn't express it outright. he observes you like he's in a game match. it's cute at first but then you realize, "oh god he's really paying attention a little too well..."

he hates if you ever even try to interact with rin. he is one jealous little shit. if he's in a good mood [which is hard to tell with him], you have like a higher chance of talking to rin. but most days, he's keeping you away from him.

bachira is unpredictable and he's crazy. he loves you a lot. and i mean a lot. he's extremely clingy towards things he cherishes and that probably stems from the lack of friends he had back then and he's just scared to lose you. but sometimes he really impedes on the day-to-day routine. he needs reassurance when you're gone. he texts you a lot. very standard clingy person.

he feels the need to be a guard dog. he's possessive but not in the way sae would be with his jealously. no, bachira is possessive but he's confident that he will keep you protected from others. but also he loves to wreak havoc so he likes being loud about being clingy and protective. it can get overwhelming.

i'm gonna be real, this one is short because bachira's traits could probably be pretty amplified in a relationship and honestly, i would go as far as to think that most of his traits would just be either better or worse in a relationship.

overbearing. that should be enough to explain it.

he's got a weird complex with him. at least that is what i think. he really stuck with nagi a lot, and i think he would do the same in a romantic relationship. he's gotten too used to coddling nagi and he does the same to you. he spoils you. and it's great at first, but it can be a lot at once. and honestly i think he feels the need to compensate for something. what is the thing he's compensating for? i don't know, but he gives me those "compensating for something with money" vibes.

i think it's safe to say that all the boys have a pride to uphold and reo is no different. he hates being inactive. he wants to help you all the time. and i mean all the time. he wants to be useful but he goes at it terribly. he wants to be relied on.

is it crazy to say that i think reo is the worst out of the three here? probably but whatever.

[grace-mint]

A Fate Worse Than Death- Part 2

TW: Angst, mentions of torture and SA. Let me know if I miss anything.

Y'all I am so ready for this happy ending. (Spoilers: it will have a happy ending bc I can't read angst without happy endings). Also sorry it's a bit short, but I couldn't keep going without it getting way too long.

Rhysand hadn’t slept in three days. He could hardly eat or drink anything. He couldn’t get himself to care for himself, his main priority being the female lying in front of him. As much as his family tried, they couldn’t get him to eat. Only when Amren walked in and called him a ‘pathetic bastard,’ and stubbornly refused to leave until he ate, did he indulge her.

He sat in a chair in the corner of his and y/n’s shared room, far enough away from the bed, but close enough to keep an extremely close eye on her. He had smelled another male on her, dread sitting in his lower chest at the idea of what that may mean. Azriel had quickly captured her father, brothers, and the male he smelled after they found her, unconscious, and had them in his cells at the Court of Nightmares. He couldn’t get the image of Y/N out of his head. Her body was covered in blood, her arms and legs bruised and scabbed up, and her back. Cauldron her back. It was completely wrecked. Her wings were gone. It broke him to know that she lost an extension of herself. As anxious as he was for her to wake, he was grateful for the time it gave Madja to attempt to heal it. She told him it would scar, severely. The trauma her back endured from whips and knives. The trauma of her wings being cut out, in lieu of the faebane that was running through her system, was enough for her back to heal quite slowly. Madja had said it would take several weeks, if not months potentially, to fully heal. Her mind, Madja told him, was another topic entirely. Rhysand had known this, he would never expect her to bounce back from something like this. He cursed himself. Since she left for that mission he had cursed himself. 

She was fine for a day or two, keeping him updated through their bond. The third day rolled around, and instead of getting his usual ‘Good morning, my love,’ greeting he was used to, he was only greeted by silence. He didn’t think too terribly much of it, assuming she was busy, but when evening had passed and still no word from her, he began to really worry. A pit of unease sat in his stomach all night. He had tossed and turned, debating whether he should leave for the camp to make sure she was okay. He had talked himself out of it, telling himself he was being overprotective, and that she could take care of herself. And she could, she was a fighter, the strongest person he’d ever met. 

He told himself this again and again as he sat there in agony, watching his mate, who lay still on the bed. A knock at the door broke him from his trance. He looked up to see Azriel walking in. Az took a long look at the bed, a shadow covering his face, before he looked at his High Lord. Rhysand knew he must look like a wreck. Rightfully so. His mate had just gone through hell. No. She had gone through something worse than that, and here he was sitting, perfectly healthy, when he did nothing to protect her. 

“You need to get some sleep,” Azriel said softly. He was a man of few words, only knowing when the situation warranted it or he felt comfortable enough. “She wouldn’t want you to sit here, torturing yourself over this.” 

As much as he didn't want to think it, he knew Azriel was right. How could he help her recover from this… What could he even call it? Situation? Ailment? No, this was something much worse. This was the equivalent of a lost life. It was an Illyrian’s worst fear; their wings are sacred to them, and the lowest form of insult bestowed upon their race is defilement of their wings. Only a true monster could do something like this. Anger flared in his chest again, the thousandth time in these past few days, at the thought of her father. Even his father, cold as he might have been, would never even have the thought of using one’s wings against an Illyrian. He wanted to kill her father so bad. Better yet, he wanted to rip him apart, limb by limb. And here was Azriel, having the audacity to tell him to rest?

“Shut up, Az.” Rhysand snapped. “She’s just lost everything precious to her, and you are telling me to relax??” 

Azriel didn’t even flinch at the tone of his voice, instead he walked over and placed a hand on Rhysand’s shoulder. “She didn’t lose everything precious to her. She still has you. Take a bath at least brother. You deserve it.”

Rhysand sat for a few hours after Az left, his mind running a thousand miles a minute. Finally, with a sigh, he got up and grabbed some spare clothes, walking into the washroom. The bath, as usual, was already filled with steaming water. He looked at himself in the mirror. He did look rough. His face was pale and gaunt, deep bags underneath my eyes, and in the eyes Rhysand looked broken. Taking off his shirt, summoning his wings, he stretched them out to their full length. Rhysand stayed there for several minutes, imagining how life would be without them. He couldn’t. His soul revolted at the idea of losing them, and he quickly let them disappear, the ache in his chest growing. He knew Y/N was going to suffer greatly, she already had. Running a hand down his face, he undressed and slipped into the tub. The warm water felt wonderful, but he didn’t allow himself to enjoy it. Rhysand cursed himself, he was wallowing in self-pity. He was the most powerful High Lord in existence, blessed with the most beautiful, most intelligent, and the most perfect mate to ever live, and yet he was still too weak. 

Rhysand scolded himself once again, how could he be so pitiful when his mate is laying on their bed, still not awake. He got up from the bath, quickly toweled himself off, and got dressed. He walked back into the bedroom, hoping you might be awake, only to have that squashed by seeing you still sleeping. 

He sat back down in the chair he’d been living in. He would stay by your side until you woke up. 

----Y/N POV----

Hands were touching me, everywhere. They were running through my hair, down my front, my rear. I was screaming, or at least I was trying to. No sound was getting out. Panic wracked my chest, I was going to die. I was going to die right now. The hands kept exploring, and they reached my wings. Pulling on my wings. Pain sparked in my back where my wings were attached by powerful tendons and membrane. I yanked away, trying to escape. Not my wings, I screamed, the words still not escaping my throat. I shot upright, the screams finally tearing from my throat. I quickly tucked my wings around me, seeking their comfort. The dream was terrifying and all I wanted to do was to turn over to my mate and tuck myself in his powerful arms. But as I went to tuck in my wings, terror struck my whole being. I couldn’t feel my wings. I looked over my shoulder and saw nothing. Another blood curdling scream left my throat. I threw myself out of bed, attempting to run to the bathroom, but I couldn’t make it. I fell, my body off balanced without the comforting and natural weight of my wings. 

“MY WINGS. MY WINGS ARE GONE.” I sat on the floor, sobs wracking my body, the pain in my back that I started to feel was agonizing. I was dying. That was the only possible answer. 

“Shhhh, my love. It’s okay I’m right here.” I felt a hand on my cheek. I flinched away, throwing myself as far as possible from the touch. 

“Go away! Leave me alone! Don’t take anything more from me!” Sobs broke through each of my words, the syllabus coming out choked and teary. 

Y/N, darling, it’s me, it's Rhys. I’m not going to hurt you. I’ll stay on the other side of the room, but you must calm down. A voice struck through my jumbled thoughts. Rhysand. That was my mate. Yes, I’m your mate. Rhysand. You are in Velaris, in the townhouse. We are in our bedroom. 

I look up, seeing my mate in a chair across the room, like he said. His eyes were frantic and wild. He looked pale and distressed. “Rhysand?” 

“Yes, my heart. I’m right here.” He slowly stood up, walking over to me. “Can I help you up?” 

I nod, not finding the energy to answer. He slowly and carefully, with attention to avoid the searing pain in my back, picked me up. I don’t know how he knew where it was so painful, but I was eternally thankful as he set me back on the bed.

“Rhys, my wings are gone.” My voice cracked with my words. “Someone took my wings.”

“I know, I know. I’m going to make them pay severely. Your father will die the slowest and most painful death. I swear it to you.”

At his words, the memories came rushing back. My father, my brothers, the male who used me. My head snapped up to my mate. “You need to leave.” His face fell, “Leave? No, I don't want to leave you. You’ve been passed out for nearly 3 weeks. I can’t leave.”

“Get out. Go, I don’t want to see you,” as I said the words, my heart roared in protest. I wanted him to stay, but he couldn’t. He can’t see me like this, weak and a failure. 

“Y/N, please.” He begged.

“I won’t ask again, leave.” I spat the last word out. I saw him flinch, and I wanted to leap up and beg for forgiveness, but what would he think if I told him what I let them do to me. 

Rhysand, begrudgingly left, reluctance to leave evident on his face. I felt awful for kicking him out, but I needed to be alone, for his sake and mine. 

I slowly stood up, wobbling, and tried to walk to the bathroom. I almost lost my balance, before deciding to just say screw it and lowered myself to the floor. I crawled to the bathroom, placing my hands on the counter, heaving myself up. The sight in the mirror shocked me to my core. My face was extremely sunken in, my body frail and bony, and my wings. The absence of my wings was devastating. It felt utterly wrong. I was wrong. 

I stared at myself in the mirror for a very long time; I hated every second of it, but I couldn’t bear to take my eyes away. A knock on the doorframe forced me to wrench my eyes away. There stood Cassian. His eyes full of sorrow and anger. 

“I heard you were awake and wanted to come check on you.” His voice was soft, as if talking to a frightened child. I just stared at him in silence, before turning my gaze back to the mirror. What was the point of life anymore? I was robbed of any dignity I had left. From now on my life be pitiful looks and watchful eyes from those who knew me. 

“Stop looking at me like that.” I say, without turning to look at him. “Stop it. Stop treating at me like I’m an object about to break.” 

“It’s okay to break, Y/N. None of us will blame you. Whatever you need or want, we will be by your side. If you want to wallow, we will be there. You want to yell and scream? We’re there to take the brunt of it. If you want to burn the world down? We will be there to light the matches.” His words went in one ear and out the other. 

I looked at him once again, with no emotion in my eyes. I saw his wings poking out from behind his back and jealousy reared its ugly head in my chest. “Leave. You think you can just come in here and flaunt your wings around and act all high and mighty. You are nothing more than a bastard who crawls at his High Lord’s feet.” 

There wasn’t a single part of my soul that believed the words I spit at him. In fact, I hated myself for saying them, but I wanted him to feel just a fraction of the eternal soul crushing pain I was feeling at the moment. Cassian’s expression didn’t waver at all though, instead he just tilted his head to look at me. 

“Is that the best you can do? That all you got?” He was goading me on, and I knew it. But this conversation had exhausted me enough. “Goodbye Casssian, “ I said in dismissal. I didn't bother to see if he left, I simply turned my head back to look at the mirror, to look at the ugliest creature in the world. Me. 

----Rhysand POV----

Cassian walked back into the kitchen, his face grim. “She called me a bastard, said I crawled at your feet.”

“She doesn’t mean it,“ Rhysand said, somewhat softly. He knew Cassian didn’t believe 

her, but he wanted to remind him.

“I know. Just hurts to see her like this.” Cassian and Y/N have always had a wonderful

relationship. He was able to be the older brother she never got to have. 

Rhysand poured another shot of whiskey, handing it to his brother. “She kicked me out. You should have seen her when she woke up. She was terrified. She was terrified of me.” His voice was broken. Pain seeping into his words.

“She just needs time.” He knew Cassian was right, but the ache in his chest was overwhelming at this point. Not to mention that the bond had gone numb on his mate’s side. He knew it would be bad, and he was expecting this, but he just didn’t know how to help her.  “She was looking at herself in the mirror when I was up there.”

Rhysand looked over at his brother, “Can I see?” Cassian nodded his approval as Rhysand entered his mind, finding the interaction between Cassian and Y/N. The lack of emotion in her eyes and face was the most heartbreaking thing he had ever seen. She was so gaunt and thin. She was a shell of herself. And Rhysand would stop at nothing to help her find her way home to him and his family.

[physics-of-one-piece]

Sitting down dramatically across from you at a very official looking table: platonic Luffy and doffy.... I would love to hear more of your thoughts on that

(pulls out my thick binder of platonic Doffy & Luffy) Challenge accepted, anon.

I talk about platonic Luffy & Doffy a lot but in short...

I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOUR I WOULD DIE FOR THEM

The fact Luffy calls him "Mingo" is absolutely adorable.

How Doflamingo keeps insulting Luffy's intelligence and calling Luffy stupid 🤣

How Luffy is the second person after Rosinante to call Doflamingo out on his bullshit and say "bitch I will fuck you up shut the fuck up" & "you're spouting gaslighting bullshit and it won't work on me! Now square up!"

Doflamingo blinking all confused when he gets sent FLYING from the palace and into the city like "how did I get here? What happened?" GEAR 4 LUFFY HAPPENED

They are both so prideful and such great captains & care about their crew I love them I love them DO YOU KNOW I LOVE THEM?

Luffy is the goof and would have gotten along so well with Cora don't even get me STARTED. Luffy brings the final blow to Doflamingo and Luffy is the younger brother in his family while Doffy is the older brother DO YOU SEE IT, ANON DO YOU SEE THE MAGNIFICENCE -

And.

And.

Doflamingo. Is canonically. The only fckn guy.

Who genuinely managed to make Luffy feel trapped and rattle Luffy mentally. Other OP villains could never.

"what's so funny?!" - Luffy at all the times Doffy laughed during their fight

Like boy, Doffy pissed Luffy off. And the same went for Doffy. Luffy pissed Doffy off. Because they're complete opposites by worldview and beliefs of people. Doffy is all about controlling people and being in charge of them and thinking he has the right to hurt them bcs of his birthright, meanwhile Luffy represents freedom and PUNCHED a Celestial Dragon in Sabaody (iconic btw so iconic) and doesn't care what or who someone is born as.

Also, idk about you but boy I kinda laughed when Doffy used Bellamy's face and Luffy kicked it. Poor Bellamy, but also Luffy's reaction was so funny.

Luffy literally says he "feels like I'm suffocating!" at being in the Birdcage.

Doffy calling Luffy a "wild beast" and how "the cage was too small to keep it (Luffy) trapped" UGH UGH I LOVE IT I LOVE THEM.

I just want to write Luffy kidnapping Doffy from Fujitora at the cell at Dressrosa by busting it in G4 cus "I want Mingo on the crew."

IMAGINE USOPP'S FACE.

Imagine it.

Are you imagining it?

I am.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

There is such a big opportunity for a kinda friendly competitive relationship these two can have and I will never get over it. Don't forget, in prison, Doffy is laughing at what Luffy is doing. How it's getting interesting. It's exciting to Doffy! Doflamingo lives for the drama, and Luffy is creating the best drama!

Also, if Law is Cora's D. kid (and he is)... Luffy is Doffy's D. kid and GOD I need to write that so bad you have no idea but idk how to . In short the brothers sorta "adopt" the D. kid that just funnily happens to be a bit like their brother. Law was like kid Doffy. Luffy is like kid Cora. Clumsy, goofy, prone to CRYING (I mean, kid Luffy was a crybaby, the sweet little baby 🥹 and even at 19 Luffy is still a crybaby haha)

Honestly my best bet at seeing a platonic Doffy & Luffy relationship is them meeting in Corazon's Flower Shop by @allmightskitten (pls I'm BEGGING, PRAYING, ON MY KNEES)

There was this beautiful platonic Doffy & Luffy Modern AU doujinshi where backpacker Luffy comes across Doffy's place and Doffy lets him stay the night and Luffy encourages Doffy (who isolated himself sorta) to join him as his adventure buddy and travel the world with him! AAAA, IT WAS SO CUTE. I gotta find it again but that's my fav doujinshi of them.

I just think they'd be such a fun duo. Doffy grabbing Luffy by the collar before Luffy jumps at an enemy and Luffy kicking and punching the air and being all confused he's floating in the air but it's just that Doffy lifted him slightly 🤣

I also think they both can be absolute goofs and Luffy's goofiness pairs with Doffy's craziness quite well with making chaos. Like... Doffy is all for chaos and actively enjoys it, and Luffy is the starter of chaos! I just think they'd have a grand time, Doffy would watch Luffy get into trouble and laugh and get some popcorn and have so much fun just watching it all.

The CHAOS they could bring together. Lord help us all.

[disease-danger-darkness-silence]

So I have been having SO MANY ISSUES sleeping lately. My N24 and chronic insomnia have been rearing their ugly heads because I've been out of two of my meds and one of them is instrumental in my sleep.

(The other is a cholesterol medication that helps a lot too.)

So I got those today and I'm about to take my nighttime meds and sleep for the first time in 3 days.

But I spent all of the last day reading every stranger things fanfic that @eriquin has written on AO3. I was already reading Crown of Thorns, bc that's the one that got me into Stranger Things fanfic, and Steve/Eddie in particular. And last year I read Nightswimming.

But I'd been holding off reading her incomplete fics bc waiting for chaps of Crown of Thorns was killing me. Last night, though, I was about to claw my own goddamn skin off, so I downloaded them and put them on my Kindle oasis in the hopes that the e-ink screen would keep me from staying awake.

But instead I read through every single one and they're all amazing, of course.

But NOW I need MORE THINGS TO READ. I have had my ADHD meds this whole time (FOR ONCE) and I am treasuring the ability to focus so can I get some GOTDANGED FANFIC RECS?

I'm big into Steve/Eddie, of course, and I'm a sucker for platonic Steve+Robin and Robin/Nancy. I don't really like full-on AUs and prefer alternate timeline or canon-divergent, but a well-written AU is fine. I'm also cool with genfic, and of course I love Joyce/Hopper. I'm a multishipper, as well. Also a sucker for platonic Eddie+Chrissy and just women being amazing in general.

So, come at me with good fic recs!

I'm also someone who, uh. Lived through the 80s. Some things I can overlook and some things I can't - like, CDs barely existed in the public, bottled water was barely a thing, gas was cheap but minimum wage was like $3 an hour, there were no cell phones, etc. The universe establishes a lot of it pretty well already, but I just am oddly weird about things I lived through, and the Reagan years, the AIDS crisis, and living in a drought when bottled water didn't really exist sticks with ya.

[conquestable]

cecil vent, i cant keep it inside anymore, hater post under the cut (but like, ultimately, i appreciate him as a member of the cast, he has an important roll to play, he just MAKES ME WANNA- debbies far too easy on him and donald hasnt learned how to bite yet. im gonna rip him to shreds)

references to nolan, mark, robot/rudy, the various villains cecil rehabs, the one he DOESNT try to rehab, donald, and how their characters all connect through cecil (at least as far as 3x2, i havent re-watched the rest yet, but i kinda remember)

the reason cecils "rehab program" is so bogus and worthless compared to nolans real redemption arc is that cecil isnt giving those people any opportunity to prove that they can be good people, or even the opportunity to learn how. hes only giving them the opportunity to prove that they can follow orders, and if they cant, then cecil himself is the one who gets to decide that theyre still bad guys. he even tries to force mark into this box, as if mark needs to be redeemed for nolans actions, and as soon as mark starts to question his authority, he tries to kill him.

and the reason nolan is so capable of being redeemed is because he really is learning and growing. he cant just show back up on earth and say "im a good guy now, i promise, please forgive me." he has to prove himself worthy of forgiveness by taking matters into his own hands and saving the earth from the invasion of his people. without his willingness AND ACTIONS toward this goal, he would not be worth forgiving and should be punished for his crimes.

thats not to say he should get away with his crimes scott free, even if he DOES prove himself worthy of forgiveness. he should still answer for them, but he doesnt need to be dealt as harsh of a punishment if he can prove himself to have a human heart. if he can use his powers for good in the future, then he should have that chance, and he should do everything in his power to prove himself worthy every day for the rest of his life.

and thats the other thing cecil fails to do is actually punish any of his rehabs for their crimes. he just lets them keep doing morally ambiguous shit, in the name of the "good guys" (aka in the name of cecils interests). like how he intentionally sends soldiers to their deaths and has sinclair turn them into cyborg corpses. like he says himself, he thinks you can be a good guy, or you can save the world, but you cant be both. his logic doesnt make any fucking sense and he bends over backwards trying to get everyone to bow to his whims.

and anyway, everything cecil does is useless in the first place. the ONLY success he ever had was putting that chip in marks head, and he had to do it while mark was unconscious for surgery bc he had no chance of getting away with it if mark knew it was coming. and what was cecil gonna do, drug his drink? what was his other plan? and ANYWAY cecil STILL failed because mark had real, heart felt relationships to rely on, and cecil only had paperwork.

cecil cant even keep RUDY in line, his most loyal servant (other than donald). once rudy starts to realize theres more to life than following orders (its love, hes in love, even if hes a fucking freak about it) he quits cecils team. hes also smart enough (and becoming human enough) to recognize that mark is both right and more powerful and he wants to be on the correct team. this transition is symbolic of the way cecil uses people as tool/machines and once rudy realizes hes more than machine, he bails. because people arent machines. they arent tools to be used and broken and taped back together and broken again and thrown away when they stop being serving their function.

this leads me into why cecil never tries to rehab seismic, and instead chooses to let him rot in a prison cell. its not just because seismic is a silly little guy (i love him so fucking much dude) because he PROVES himself to be threatening. he even manages to get mark down pretty good, stabs a big tooth right through his chest and infects him with venom and gets him all woozy. with his own god given gifts of loving the earth and that big geology brain of his that allows him to invent his own experimental weapons that fall in line with his spiritual beliefs like a REAL man, cecil, CAN YOU HEAR ME? USE YOUR OWN TWO HANDS TO DO SOMETHING FOR ONCE. LEAVE ALL THOSE FUCKING PEOPLE ALONE, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

what the fuck was i saying? (seismic distracted me, i fucking love seismic dude) oh yeah, the point was that cecil never tries to rehab seismic because seismic has too much heart to EVER submit to a pathetic weasel like cecil, hed rather die. he literally throws himself into a pit of lava to avoid being brought back to cecils feet.

(still part of the cecil rant, stick with me) but just more gushing about seismic. seismic always represented marks childhood (because the kind of fights he has with seismic are the kind he fantasized about before he got his powers. just a goofy little guy he can knock around a bit and be back home in time to make it to graduation and kiss his perfect girlfriend who always forgives him). but seismic keeps growing and becomes something mark actually has to face and defeat. his childhood fantasies were never real, and seismic is a real threat.

and who tries to step in to save him and take over instead of letting mark figure it out himself and become his own man? cecil. cecil did that. he sent his bogus fucking corpse bots in there to rip open those eggs with their robot hands, and for some reason NONE of the strong ass heroes that were there could do it. not the immortal? not mark himself? not amanda? none of those guys could do it but a bionic necromancy doll can? give me a break. mark could have figured it out. but cecil not only robs him of the opportunity but INTRODUCES THE HORROR THAT IS SINCLAIRS "REHAB." and he throws in nightboy as a little treat to rub it in his face some more. what the fuck else was mark supposed to do but ask questions?

and thats ALL he did was ask cecil some questions, in an angry tone of voice, because he was rightfully horrified by cecils actions. and cecil tried to kill him for it, or at the very least force him back under heel. he gets whats coming to him when rex burns up his hand and mark bruises up his throat, and EVERYONE knows mark could have done much worse.

but mark is maturing whether cecil likes it or not, and so are all the guardians who quit that day. hes learning how to say no and make his own decisions. he doesnt need cecil telling him what to do. and he knows cecil is just A Guy and it would be wrong to kill him (or even hurt him more severely than mark did), especially when so many people unfortunately rely on him for their security. making an enemy of those people wouldnt be wise either.

re: the guardians splitting up, everyone who left had their own reasons for not trusting cecil anymore, but amanda says that she was really excited to join the guardians bc it had been a fantasy of hers, but once she got there she realized the real value of the guardians was their ability to rely on each other, not their ability to follow cecils orders. everyone who stays is either a well trained government bitch by now, or in love with said government bitch (and also put off by rex), or trying to be a "good cop", or too in debt to the MERCY cecil took on him for causing the sequid invasion and letting him get away with it. thats what cecil is left with. them, and the promise that more young heroes will be naive enough to try out for the team and hopefully dumb enough to stick around.

i dont know why donald stays with him. for the life of me donald, i dont understand why. why do you love him so much??? is it because you saw him lay his neck on the line to confront the dangerous and unknown nolan grayson in the flesh instead of sending in front-liners? i know that was impressive, but he was just fake suicide bombing himself to assert some dominance in the office, because he doesnt care if he really dies. hed rather die than not be in control. its what got him by in prison, pretending to have balls he didnt have and not giving a fuck about the consequences. his balls arent real donald, theres no life in his eyes, his heart is so cold, hes dead inside, please, please, for the love of god leave him. he lied to you about your robot body with so much dedication that he didnt even let you know you had a fucking cannon installed in your chest. how useful would that be in helping you avoid the death-situations that you found yourself in at least thirty nine times?

why do you forgive him when he tells you that you asked for it? why do you believe him? he hurt you over and over and over and over and took away any agency you had to feel any type of way about it. he kept you docile and calm and numb to the pain while he let you sacrifice yourself again and again and again as if you would ever make any other choice? he says he was trying to spare you the grief of knowing, and YOU tell him that it only benefits HIM. you KNOW better donald, you know his words dont mean anything, WHY DO YOU FORGIVE HIM? WHY DO YOU STAY WITH HIM?

not to even mention the fact that cecil robbed donald of the pride he could have felt at saving how many countless lives he saved with his sacrifices.

if donald had the agency to feel his own feelings and the opportunity to decide for himself how to use his own power (he CANT DIE? hes more powerful than he was ever allowed to know) and cecil for some reason thinks that the fear of dying will deter donald from continuing to make good choices? sorry, what i meant to say is that cecil doesnt WANT donald making good choices. he doesnt want donald making any choices AT ALL. he just wants donald to do what he says and never question him. he wants donald to live and die at his leisure and do nothing more or less. thats donalds function. (its important to add, some of the times donald chose to sacrifice himself, and some of the times cecil straight up murdered him, and cecil was erasing BOTH of those types of memories and leaving donald none the wiser. never forget that cecil blew donald up for no reason trying to bomb nolan, as if nolan could be blown up with such a stupid little insignificant bomb.)

i think im done ranting, ill just get sad if i keep thinking about how cecil casually assaults donald T-T there are so many reasons to hate cecil i could go on forever, but this is a good chunk of them.

[the-gayest-show]

Elena of Avalor watch: The Spirit of the Wizard

(Or whatever that episode was called, and for some reason Disney plus reminded me what year it was supposedly made in wtf was that for)

These are mostly thoughts I was thinking when I watched the eps

Obvious spoiler warning lol

This episode was niceeeeeee

THEY MENTIONED ENCHANCIA!!!! THEY SAID IT BY NAME!!! WE GOT A VAGUE AND SUBTEXTUAL SHOUTOUT TO THE SECRET LIBRARY!!!! FUCK YEAH!!!! My Sofia the First loving heart is so happy! I love when peak is mentioned in other peak.

Also the book WAS DETORIATING??? SINCE WHEN??? That is so interesting to me. Like dude, does this imply that the book was sitting there throughout stf canon and just. Wasting away? 41 years does not fuck up a book THAT badly cmon! Also weird thing no2: how the fuck do they know where the book is on the shelf of the secret library? i swear them books just flew the fuck off somewhere and i barely even knew where they put them how was Sofia and crew able to find it? Why did they send the book in a box bigger than the damn book itself?? That's just stupid packaging??

Anyways besides the point. We got Alacazar! ONLY FOF HIM TO BE KILLED OFF NOOOOOOOOO

I mean plot wise he had to die bc Mateo kinda developed a dependence on bro for everything. Even as far back as like the Greatest Wizard song he sang in one episode where he mentioned wanting to be like his grandfather Alacazar. It was a liiiiitle interesting to watch him fangirl like that.

Alacazar was right he needs to be his own master fr fr. If he were still alive then Mateo would've been hanging at his side and trying to emulate him. The death rlly woke bro up like that and that's massive respect to the writers fr fr.

I love how canonically it absolutely makes sense Alacazar didn't know he had a grandkid bc 41 years and then like 3 ish in the library (post pilot) makes you skip a generation but he just believed Mateo outright like that? Crazy. Which side of the family is he a grandpa from? No way is he actually from the mother's side... I might be forgetting lore but like is he on the mother's or father's side this feels like something I wanna know.

ESTEBAN IS BACK BABYYYYY

Bro I keep watching episodes with him and coming to the conclusion that I don't think even he knows what side he's on. Like he still, despite getting absolutely disowned by Elena, loves her enough that her getting hurt is The Line He Cannot Cross which is so sweet, but then in the same direction you swipe her scepter like make it make sense my guy.

Side note: I love that Esteban makes a slight remark abt the scepter and then Ash suddenly decides she's gonna steal the scepter and bro IMMEDIATELY backtracks like "haha guys pls dont take it serious 😥😥😥 it was just a joke not an actual plan😥😅😣😣😣😖😖"

Dude, you are joking about stealing important objects to people who would do that actually. He's so bad at being a bad guy but not any better at being good it's actually hilarious.

His dynamic with Ash is interesting. I wanna see more of that. They bounce off each other interestingly.

After participating in the nice rb thread a few posts back and also watching more Esteban I've realized one thing: HE HAS COWARD POWERS!!! THE TELEPORTATION POWERS ARE COWARD POWERS!!!! I'm sure Wes/drzone said that already, but it's real fucking convenient how when the villains escape in Spirit of a Wizard, they use Esteban's escapism powers. Like girl imho those powers are just the cooler way to run away from your problems like instead of acknowledging... well... the harm your actions caused (like murder of elenas parents which esteban my guy YOUR PARENTS DIED TOO BE FR!!!!!!), you run away like a coward and one way ticket yourself to the jail cell instead of TRYING to apologize like chat be fr.

But now his fancy green powers let him do the coward part but make it fancier which feels like an Esteban thing like he's a big fancy fan in my eyes.

Btw could green imply like the envy/jealousy? If I recall my emotion color theory correctly, I believe that is what green signifies. He was sort of jealous/envious of Elena in the first seasons, was he not? Just a thought lol.

I like the intriguing new power that is that Esteban can just snap things out of people's hands. Like girl, that is so cool. That genuinely gives you the most grated advantage of all time. Imagine that in a battle, you first teleport everyone's magic weapons to a mysterious location for your other equally armed villain besties to pick up and THEN you defeat their asses with more green spells.

Question being: I fucking hope we get more powers from Esteban's staff. We haven't seen enough of it (especially not enouvh with a trained formaer chancellor) yet to truly understand the scope of what Esteban can do with magic stick. I want to know, for normal and sane reasons of course.

I feel like they're gonna use this thread of Esteban not wanting to hurt Elena as a method of getting her to forgive him. Imho, it's gonna be a huge part in WHY she forgives him, and I feel like that on its own is kinda lacking?

Even if this show is about change or whatever HE ISNT SHOWING CHANGE!!! I DO NOT SEE WHERE HE IS CHANGING!!! YOU ARE STILL ALIGNED WITH THE MALVAGOS ESTEBAN!!! YOU ASKING ASH TO NOT HURT ELENA IS NOT A CHANGE!!!! WHERE IS YOUR CHANGE YOU FUCKING DIMWITTTTTTTTT!!!!!! GET YOUR ASS SOME CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND WE'LL TALK THEN!!!

I hate and love this guy so much raaaa

Otherwise hell yeah this episode rocks i will keep watching till the finale (that thing is like. A MOVIE. 1 hr+. I know bc i saw it on Disney+ as a listing. Its gonna be fire if they give so much time to it)

[egg-witch]

As usual I am thinking too hard about the biology of fictional characters so. Thoughts I am compelled to share about Boothill below

Canonically he has synthetic, blue blood. This would cause his skin tone to seem quite strange and greyish. Extra so if he's as pale as he is in-game but this would still be apparent with most darker skin tones as well. Man's gonna be looking a bit like a zombie

The intent here is debatable but I also choose to interpret that same line to mean that he does *not* have a synthetic heart - the original's still in there, just running on new juice

Related to this and also the fact he can seemingly have a bullet explode in his mouth without serious repercussions I am going to assume that his skull and whatever else would be left of his skeleton have been enhanced or replaced (having human bone marrow in there making new blood cells would likely mess with things if they replaced that whole system)

This is very funny to me because it seemingly means instead of just putting his brain inside a whole synthetic body the doctor went to the trouble to keep his original face, despite replacing/augmenting his teeth, eyes, tongue and, one can extrapolate, his entire damn skull. He was ready to give up everything except his pretty complexion I guess...

(Unless his face *is* synthetic and intellitrons just have no desire for a realistic human face with the capacity to emote? The rest of boothill's body seems flexible in a way that would suggest a good synthetic equivalent to human skin, so... it's plausible)

Speaking of, I really do not subscribe to the idea that he can't feel anything from the neck down. Do you know how hard it'd be to do anything as a human with a meat brain (or even as a robot for that matter) without any haptic feedback? If they have the technology to make him a whole new body that has equal or better mobility and general function than the old one then they can make it feel things, I promise. Probably not in all the same ways human flesh can feel things, especially if a lot of it is rigid plating, but it'd still be conductive to heat and electricity at least

I know the reason his model is that way is bc it's just a different texture on the same default character model, hence it bending and stretching like a soft body - building, rigging and animating a humanoid body that truly moves like a rigid machine would be an absurd amount of work and also limit the visual design, his canon design straight up would not be able to move or work if all those parts really were rigid no matter how you approached it lol. but it is very hot and looks cool which is what really matters. so I've settled on most of the "plating" being tough but still somewhat flexible, not actually metal but an advanced synthetic material of some sort. and then material more like an artificial skin between joints and in the parts that need extra stretch and flexibility. he's harder (and heavier) than a human but he's not a tin can

Based on screwllum's dialogue that he can and does eat regular food (but the phrasing implies that he could also eat other stuff? And there's that exchange from one of the light cones where ruan mei makes a joke about him having to drink machine oil) and the implication that the doctor who gave boothill his new body was an intellitron, I think boothill must have something similar - he can still eat normal food but also process other things. Idk if the fuel hatch on his back is a redundancy then or what. Could just be that nobody anticipated he'd think gasoline tastes good lmao

(side note while it's kinda implied in game that his weird tastes are a result of an augmented mouth and tongue I like to think he was always like that. He was eating rocks out of the garden as a kid and licking rusty old coins and stuff u can't convince me otherwise)

(also this is getting off track but this guy clearly has some kinda fixation on like. machinery. I think even though he did it for unrelated reasons he thinks his cyborg body is very hot and probably also has a little bit of a thing for intellitrons ngl. which is interesting given his history and the associations one would first assume he'd have with that kind of technology and aesthetic, but. can't fault a guy for knowing what he's into)

Whoops this got super long

Stay tuned for the sequel, "KC analyses boothill's personality way too seriously"

[carnation-damnation]

I LOVE your transfem Amy art! Would you mind sharing some of those transfem ideas you were rotating in your mind?

AUGHHHHH I'D LOVE TOOO!!

ummm lets go down the line haha. Only gonna talk abt ames rouge and metal because they're the only ones I've got in my brain atm. But rest assured if I had more brain cells I'd ramble abt Blaze too bc I also hc her as trans

Ames (She/Her, trans lesbian) - I think Amy presents p stealth! I think she knew she was trans from a young age and she's been presenting femininely since she was very very little. I made a post joking abt silly gender differences in sth (no back quills, small nose, etc) and I headcanon that those traits come from Amy being half-echidna so its like. ajdjsndnd gender win. The traits you were born with also coincide with hedgehog mobian gender binary??JFJSNFNN

I don't think Amy keeps her trans identity a complete secret, she loves being trans and she's proud of how she's tested fate and made her life her own, but I also think it does play a role in how she navigates her personal/romantic relationships (comphet to trans lesbian is what I was thinking of?)

Rouge: (She/Her, transfem lesbian also) - I talked abt Rouge and gave her a silly little backstory in that one post but I'll go over it again a little here: I think Rouge grew up pretty isolated in a small village with her family. She felt very trapped in the ideas that she felt like she had to follow the footsteps in. She felt like she was a side character in her own life because she's always had to ask for permission and think of the family's sleezy gem store/pawn shop before her own wants and needs. Landing that government job somehow was her ticket to finally spreading her wings and flying freeeee baby. She knew there was somth about herself and the way she dressed, talked and looked that didn't quite fit her, and although she didn't have a word for it, she assumed a new identity while working for G.U.N. and went like. full throttle on her transition. She didn't want anybody from her old village to recognize her. She's not listening to their complaints and desires anymore. She lives for herself, now. I think she has some trust issues relating to her past experiences which makes her hold onto Shadow and Omega so closely, and something about them also being queer brings them even closer to her. Can you tell Rouge has been rotating the fastest in my head

Metal - (It/She/They, sapphic demi-girl) -Metal is a fucking egg please saVE HERRRR. LISTEN OK. I don't have any evidence I don't got shit I just know we gotta get Metal outta there because she is an uncracked egg. Is eggman actively against the prospect of Metal having a differing gender identity? No. But Eggman is opposed to Metal having Opinions so. Metal has spent so long under the control of Eggman who they DO!! love, I believe. I think Metal Sonic and Sage are the only people that love Eggman and Eggman does nottt see Metal as his child as much as Metal does. And it makes me fucking bonks, dog. She thinks she's comfortable and fine where she is because that's all she knows. But she sees Amy and she yearns for something that she doesn't have the ability to describe...An emptiness that Metal doesn't know how to fill. Someone show this robot the joys of spinning for the first time in a flowy skirt PLEASEEE I think it'd do wonders for her. Go listen to bridget from guilty gear strives theme rn

[overtaken-stream]

You could write more about King Wildfire, there's so little of him and I'm obsessed with him too.anything about him

Do Not F4lter

King The Wildfire x Strawhat!Reader

The actions take place when Luffy is still on the whole cake island. Reader is Genderneutral so if I slipped somewhere please notify me. I didn't want this to turn out like how it did but Idk it kinda grew on me. Also, THIS IS NOT ROMANTIC and I don't think it is platonic either, King and Reader respect each other as pirates. But Reader has disdain for everyone bc obviously... Fun fact, I wanted this to be a part 1 of another fic I'm making of Lunarian!Reader but it's completely different from the other (the other is rotting inside my drafts at the moment so, I'll see what I can do to save it. + I'll probably only release that on AO3 since I just dump ideas too small for AO3 on here)

Warning: Gender neutral Reader, past torture, current torture is discribed(suffocation and burn at the end), blood, jail, murder is mentioned. King talks a bit too much for my liking, but I don't think it is out of character.

The desolate chambers, parched and dull of any care lay quietly in Wano, the days went by with little to no warmth ever touching you, the smell of iron and the taste of blood bring what little comfort it could, the heavy shackles retained your hands together as you settled against the freezing, rocky wall in the darkness, panting to try and get your energy back, to no luck, your legs had no energy to hold your body weight up, let alone break through the seastone bars of this place.

As much as you tried to get yourself together to try and attain what little information the prisoners had collected over the months of being kept in this place, it was hard hearing anything past the waves of headaches that deafened your ears, even if you could, only the whimpers and groans of battered prisoners would meet you.

The tight shackles held onto you as you sat in the darkness of the cell, head tossed back against the cool wall as small talk chimed around the jail, the unknown voices of pirates who dared to cross Kaidou's territory were taken into interrogation for who knows how many times, some decided to switch sides while others did not spoke a word about their schemes, hence they've met their end.

You keep to yourself. You don't need anyone here. Not these scumbags anyway.

The murmurs of captured were silenced as the heavy door creaked, soon the footsteps sounded around the frosty enclosure, followed by a creaking sound of leather rubbing against latex. Sharp, hard, nonresonant sounds, produced by two pieces of metal striking, echo within their every step.

They walk with slow and confident strides, and from the sound of it, they have a mass greater than an average human. You expect them to take somebody away for questioning, testing, or torturing, depending on their mood and assignment.

But never would you have imagined the heat that claws its way underneath your skin. The unexpected warmth steals a gasp from your mistreated lips causing you to grimace at the pain the action bought. The torches and lanterns never emitted this much heat whenever your captors came into. They were a source of light and you cannot seem to figure out how they keep their body temperature in this type of environment while wearing an outfit rivaling Emporio Ivankov. Seriously how do they do it?!

With the warmth that this person brings came a vibrant light and for the first time in seven days you've been here, you have a clear view past the bars you've been taken in, though it is not much different from yours. The temperature keeps growing to the point its warmness swallows your whole body in comfort. The yellow hue just around the corner is followed by separated fire sparks and the cracking noises they disgorge, joined by metal clanks and leather creaks.

It is not until the silhouette stands on the other side of the bars that you realize The Monster–or should you say– The Beast that stood a couple of meters away from you, their long limbs and broad shoulders made to accommodate the sheer size of their dark and heavy wings make him that much more overawing. they're covered from head to toe with blue leather, the thought of wearing that much skin makes you uneasy, and the spikes cover the main intimidation factor. The mask.

With a brief look one would give to an insect, irrelevant critter, he stares. One would say they were belittling you if you had not known who exactly he was.

The All-Star. The fire itself. The Conflagration.

You cannot help but smile through your beaten expression, a cunning smile overtakes your features as if you've won a game you didn't know you were playing. It feeds your ego. Kaidou's right-hand man himself came to interrogate you because the mediocre ogres couldn't get a word out of you.

His burning eyes stare at you in a way that tells you of your lukewarm retort to his presence. You couldn't agree more that it was a dumb reaction, but as a cackle escapes into the air, devoid of any noises excluding the flames on his back, you cannot help yourself.

(It sounds so much like the pained and shrilled laughter of a man in a blue and white mask, a silent Kid Pirate if you remember correctly.

He should have known better than to make an offer with a corrupted man like the Shogun. Deals and offers are double adged swords in the world of piracy. He of all people, should have known.)

Your cackle turns into coughing and desperate gasps of air, awaiting your heart to settles down, you spoke.

``I... I feel honored, having an All-Star involved in-``

King interrupts you with a key, opening the door and dragging your exhausted and squalid body harshly into the interrogation cabinet. Can't have others listening into your screams of agony.

his voice, so monotonous keeps a gruff edge as he speaks.

``I won't repeat it again Straw hat (Y/N), what are you trying to pull off here in Wano.`` He leans his back against the wall next to the door while you sluggishly fall to the floor, even in your haze you still vividly hear his question, not so much as a question but an order for you to state your business in this closed-off country.

Your half-lidded eyes do not move away from the ceiling, but your smile falls into a thin line. You wish you could bask in his warmth in peace.

``Where is your captain? Your crew?``

``...Not with me.`` technically you aren't lying.

``I'll ask again, where is your captain.``

``I told you and that fool of an officer the answer alre-ady!`` you raise your voice, and furrow your brows at the voice crack that formed due to dehydration. ``I'm not with them.``

That sentence could be taken in multiple ways. You wonder which he chooses to take.

Silence fills the chamber as he drills holes into your face with his eyes alone. He steps toward you, slow and calm in a way he isn't, until the bottom of his boot meets your throat.

``...Members of the Worst Generation Pirates think they have any significance in the New World. They conceive thoughts that they're stronger then they actually are and feed the lies only to satisfy their hunger to make an impact of some kind.``

You can feel the blood trying to travel in your body as he puts more and more pressure on your airways, cutting you off from the precious oxygen. You felt as if your head could explode from the pain.

Barely through your teeth you ask of why he hasn't ended you yet, like they've done with numerous pirates.

``A carrot on the stick.`` he answers with eyes of the soulless, watching the shocking realization seep into your eyes. they're planning on using you as a leverage, to get to Luffy, they would not kill you, oh no.

``It's amazing, the fact that you came to us at the most perfect time. He has been the reason of Kaidou's headaches for a while now.`` Your need for air was long forgotten, even when you saw black spots form in your vision, you couldn't get the fright out of your system. Couldn't get the thought of which meaning he chose from your previous answer to your brain.

He takes the boot off of your throat. the oxygen pushes it's way through your irritated throat and lungs as you gasp and squirm in the dim room.

``I'm here to give you an offer. To join The Beast Pirates, while acting as our pawn, or you'll meet your maker in this place. Either way, you'll end up being a tool one way or another.``

Ten seconds pass, twenty seconds pass in silence. A laugh erupts.

``Hah! It's quite a defeated way to go, I'll either gain what little freedom I can in your ranks, or I'll continue to take what I've already taken tons of times...`` A sweat rolls down your cheek, distorted to accommodate the smile overtaking your face. You worry for yourself, but you do not falter.

Dirt and grime sticks to your clothes, blood and gore covers your limbs, which pang and cramp on their own, pain lingers in your every word and movement. You're drained of any energy, your thirsty and hungered. You do not falter.

His eyes stare at your numb face, confused because why are you laughing, irritated because he knows which option you'll choose. Respect doesn't have to come naturally to him– it is something he has learned through Kaidou, it is something he rarely ever feels towards someone, even among Kaidou's own men. But now as he stares into your determined face, he shows regard for your dedication and ability.

``Give it all you've got because there is no way I'm ever joining you assholes...!`` even if you know they will still use you, there is a higher survival chance you acknowledge, pride, selflessness, selfishness, will, whatever it is that will remain untouched due to this decision, you can only hope to make it out of here before they stop fueling the fire within you. Make it out before they break you completely.

King can only accept you on equal basis and give you the same consideration you would expect for yourself. Though he rarely feels interest there is an attraction of sorts that he admits, and respects as a pirate. There's a shared dedication that he has in common with you. And he wonders.

``It would have been nice to get to know you better, but I'm afraid I don't care.``

And your blank (E/C) tells him of an identical thought.

Temperature grows and vibrant flames are fueled, your torment continues with a mutual agreement in mind.

[gaybd1]

pls allow me to make a long life update ramble here bc im sick of irl people not understanding at all

I feel like I have a feel disconnected points to make

People like me aren’t meant to get bachelor’a degrees and we’re DAMN SURE not meant to get master’s

I’m 1000% just in survival mode right now and there’s theoretically a month left to go but idek if I’ll make it that long tbh

It has taken me YEARS to figure out a healthy/sustainable work-life balance that goes with my executive dysfunction but that’s NOT POSSIBLE working full time AND doing a degree

I’ve been feeling guilty for resting at all lately (and probably should) but yet if I don’t my health suffers majorly

It has always been hard for me to get simple things done, but now I can’t even THINK about simple necessary errands like walking to the supermarket or going to get a cell phone number or updating shit at the bank because ALL my energy goes to keeping me and my dog alive, keeping a job, and trying to stay in this program

I have delayed my transition by YEARS to pay for all this which was definitely the wrong call ughhhhh

I worked SO hard all of K-12 to get into a good university, when it came down to it didn’t even want to go, was too depressed to apply to hardly any, chose my best option still not knowing what I wanted to do but forced into it and forced to take out all of these loans when I didn’t even know what they meant.

Ended up never dealing with audhd shit, trauma shit, didn’t know what I was doing with my life, tried to get jobs to pay for school but couldn’t handle class and jobs at the same time so got more depressed until I stopped going to classes altogether and got kicked out

That would have been great for me tbh but I still didn’t know what else to do so I begged them to let me back in which they did and I ended up barely graduating with some pointless major I just chose to get me a degree. And also $80k of student debt I had no way to even comprehend knowing how to use

Didn’t know what to do after that either so I ended up in retail for a couple years before I got a random rare opportunity to get me out of there and doing what I always wanted

Well. I felt like I needed to make up for lost time degree-wise and ended up basically begging myself into this half-shitty program that culminates in this masters. I applied maybe five years ago, waited a little over two to start until I had money to pay for it (this is after fleeing the US and the 80k lmao) and somehow killed the first year of it.

I took another year and a half off trying to figure out the rest of the money which I eventually did and that’s how we end up here. I will hopefully have the degree in October but will still be paying for it the rest of the school year rip

So financially this sacrifice is obviously huge and on one hand I never thought I’d be able to do it so yay me and on the other hand I have NOT been able to pursue v v important trans stuff which I notice and deal with eVERY GODDAmn day thanks AND I will also probably not be able to make my every-18-month visit home next summer with my family which also gODDAMN SUCKS because family was EVERYTHING to me growing up and they’ve all forgotten it and probably think I have too but I miss those mfers so much and they would never buy a flight to come see me so.

ANYWAY yeah in undergrad I could NOT do a job and school at the same time so I’ve been proud of being able to handle it this time around but the last fourish months of this program are so intense and I am NOT handling it

Like I have done SO WELL up to now so I feel like I just GOTTA keep going but it’s SO HARD and I’m TOO STUPID and I’ve been told my whole life I’m not meant for higher education and now BOY DO I KNOW IT

I’m just trying to keep going. I order food and groceries to my house. I’m putting off super important errands and appointments as long as I can because I JUST CANT GET THERE I CANNOT WASTE SPOONS ON CELL PHONE PLANS RIGHT NOW I’m just trying to stay alive holy shit

I hate feeling so incompetent in my personal life especially because I’ve always put my professional life first out of like. Fear of losing it. and I KNOW this “laziness” is justified bc I’m spread so thin AND have executive dysfunction and a chronic illness but holy shit it still feels bad scoob. So fucking bad.

I think what I need to do is arrange time off work just to get this all sorted and finished but I’ve literally never taken a day off in my life so I’d feel bad and have MORE anxiety figuring out how to do it lololol ahhhhhhhh

[hillbilly---man]

Random Tumblr Ask Question:

What would you do if you went into your kitchen, and found a living clone of yourself?

Context: This person is YOU from this morning, but instead of doing the tasks you did, they were in the kitchen. For all other purposes, they're you. They're not an imposter, they have your memories etcetc.

This is such an interesting question!

I think after trying to figure out HOW it happened and also verifying somehow that it's real, the two of us would have to sit down together and figure out how we were going to work this out.

Putting it under a cut bc it got really long lmfao

Assuming that the other me is here to stay, we'd need to come up with some way of differentiating ourselves. It would be really arrogant to act as if I'm the original (I'm sure the other me feels the same way), so something like Jessica 1 & Jessica 2 wouldn't work. Maybe we color code ourselves?

We would have the logistical challenge of basically existing in two places at once. We only have one social security number, one car, one bed, one job, etc. Obviously I'd tell my friends and family about this, but it could get complicated when it comes to official things. We'd probably have to legally continue living as one person.

And share the bed, unfortunately. (There's a guest bed but it's not as nice as my bed lmao)

I'm tempted to be like.. "we can take turns going to work!" But it would be difficult. I have a hard enough time keeping track of shit at work as it is .. I don't need to be literally absent half the time too. Maybe we can take turns on a quarterly basis. One of us would probably spend time doing a side hustle of some sort while the other is at work. It couldn't be a full second job (with a schedule) unless the hours were outside of my own work hours; it might look suspicious/fraudulent. The additional income would help pay for the increased food/bills/etc.

On a ... More unfortunate note, we'd have to share medication. Most of what I take is no big deal. We'll let the one working in the office have the vyvanse. We'll supplement the prescription vitamins with OTC stuff. I guess we'd alternate doses of the MS medication (and other stuff) and cross our fingers that nothing bad happens from being under-medicated lol. We'll alternate MRIs and doctors appointments too. Hopefully nothing happens to one of us medically that makes our records inconsistent; if that happened I guess the affected one gets to keep going to that doctor

When it comes to social engagements, I think we'd have to take turns. I think I'm probably kind of dull sometimes and annoying at other times, so I wouldn't want to subject my friends to two of me at once. Not to mention that a lot of things cost money, and it's not always in my budget to pay double for stuff.

I guess we'd have to come up with some system of deciding whose turn it is for things. Coin flips, random number generators, tests of skill? Not only for events and stuff, but also for stuff like who gets to keep the cell phone and who has to buy another one. Who gets to keep the Tumblr account and who has to make a new one? I wouldn't mind y'all knowing, but sharing an account would probably get confusing and people might confuse us for a DID system (which to be clear isn't a bad thing, it just wouldn't be accurate)

Big decisions would have to be up for discussion. Are we applying for a new job? Are we trading the car in? Where should we move to? I imagine it would be kind of like being married, but to a more controlling extent than I think would be healthy in a marriage. We'd need to agree on tattoos, piercings, haircuts, hair dye...

Oh, we'd also have to start discussing our days and try to keep records so we can keep things straight

Actually, it might just be easier to buy a fake identity off the dark web or something. This is complicated

Thanks for the fascinating question to ponder!!

[lightwise]

TBB S3 E13 Reaction

- Ooooh, Tantiss has light on it again for the first time since the beginning of the season 👀 that is hopeful. Omega’s presence is bringing light back to this desolate place

- We haven’t seen male scientists before have we?

- Scrunchy nose and scowly eyebrows. Baby girl is in full blown revenge mode 😎

- I have to point out that every time a tv show has characters be given perfectly fitting outfits in a new environment (especially something like a prison) it cracks me up to no end. There’s no way Omega and Bayrn sized prison jumpsuits were just laying around somewhere.

- Omega has grown SO MUCH 😭 physically, emotionally, rationally. At the start of this season she made that doll to keep herself sane and now she knows that she doesn’t even need to mention that fact to Eva. She is so confident and focused in her mission and in showing up as a leader and example for these kids. I’m so freaking proud of her

- And to juxtapose that with Bora Vio, where Omega was captured by Cad Bane and confronted by Fennec about her fears of becoming an experiment in a test tube—AND where she got herself out and where the boys could pick her up. Chefs kiss

- Echo!! I love their brotherly handshakes

- Hunter and Echo are not playing around sassing Rampart around lol.

- This shuttle looks very similar to the one Crosshair and Omega escaped in at the beginning of the season

- Why does Crosshair’s “yes” sound like someone screwed up on the sound mixing side? It’s so weirdly quiet and whispery

- The little tappy taps on the uniform and “I can’t wear this” “you’ve been demoted” I’m DYING 💀

- The grid layout of these prison cells reminds me of the Box episodes in TCW where Obi-Wan becomes Rako Hardeen

- Scalder is definitely trouble

- Yeah Emerie stand up for yourself and the kids!

- These kids voices 😭

- And Omega’s voice 😏 allll her training is paying off

- They stripped their armor 😭😭😭😭 all of their individuality and expressiveness gone. I do not like this

- Alright, I can see why the hair and beard trim is driving everyone wild, but it’s still not for me 😆. The bitchiness is endlessly entertaining though

- Okay this is now infinitely nerve-wracking

- Hunter putting his hand on Rampart’s shoulder and him immediately wiping it off is so hilarious 🤣. I think there is a modicum of respect that is established here though. Hunter is warning him but also giving him the clone sign of respect with the shoulder grasp. Rampart is still fastidious with his uniform but begrudgingly admits that he’s in on this mission even if it’s because he has no other choice, letting them know that he will handle himself properly.

- It’s interesting that many of the imperials this season have had beards. Last season most of them were blond and clean shaven, and now they’re dark haired and bearded. Coincidence? Trying to reuse facial models? An extra cold winter and Tarkin didn’t get his hands on the dress code protocols? 🤷🏻‍♀️

- I LOVE when the Empire is just flaunting one’s rank and bring an asshole to get things done. It works every time

- “I’ve missed this” 🤣 honestly it’s too bad Rampart isn’t willingly on the right side bc he would be steadily becoming hotter if he was

- Surely Echo appreciated the regulation drop 😅

- Ruh roh. Does no imperial ever see the “invite you into the ship and then hit you in the back of the head” thing coming??

- Echo’s always “working on” encryptions

- They’re going to have to go straight there?? 😱

- I have to say, I do feel for Rampart here. He genuinely didn’t sign up for this. Neither did the rest of them really but they don’t have a choice.

- “Wonderful. We’re all going to die” pls no 😭😭

- At no point did I ever worry that Rampart was going to give them up though. He might be pissed but he knows he’ll be sent directly back to prison if anyone in the empire recognizes him. He was sentenced by Palpatine himself. There’s no coming back from that. Whatever he chooses to do going forward, I think he knows it will have to be something he carves out himself, and trying to betray the Batch won’t help him at all in that process. Hopefully this remains true for the rest of the episodes.

- These overhead shots are insanely beautiful

- Bayrn is just a baby 🥺

- The perfect amount of suspense 😱 and Omega knows how to sound perfectly innocent

- Dr. Scalder is feeling like Nurse Ratched right now 👀

- “Our way out” “One way out” aghhhh let’s go!!

- And we get another “Echo is the baddest badass ARC Trooper ever” sequence and I LOVE it

- The droid chute lowers for the little mouse droid 🤣 adorable

- Echo 🤝 Omega doing what they need to do in the nick of time

- Wrecker wearing the tiny hat I can’t 😂😂😂

- Cue the hyperventilating

- This is so nerve-wracking

- Omg if Echo had gone out that way 😭

- “Negative” SIR 🥵 🥵 🥵

- In the last possible second!! The very warranted trust they have in Echo after all they’ve been through! Rampart’s quite reasonable fears and yet their crazy plan working as the Bad Batch does! And Crosshair catching Rampart so he doesn’t fall even though he doesn’t have to!

- I was officially white-knuckled by the end of this episode 😱💀

- Can we take a minute to appreciate Hunter’s leadership and piloting skills here? His choice to make this jump is insanely brave, his ability to fly has been proven to be capable and daring when needed, and his calm, proactive decision making that has largely been missing since their military days is back in full force. He’s on a mission and he’s not stopping until he gets his girl back for good.