#but also for a home by at least february maybe i hope

[littlegirlhorrible]

merry christmas eve to all who celebrate n happy holidays 2 all !! :)) <333 ❄️☃️

p.s. comment what u asked Santa for 💌

[kiyoomi-levin]

villain pt.1 (bakugoxf!reader) [NSFW]

a/n this was originally supposed to be a single fic but i wanted to see how ppl liked it lol. pt 2 is already in the making (and i promise it's more spicy than this one)

summary: harley (you) realize that joker (your boyfriend) is in love with batman (bakugo). If only harley also knew batman’s obsessed with her. —> inspired by this short  word count: 4.9k warning(s): bakugo’s literally just a horndog

“I swear, Ren, if you pull anything like that again…”

Your boyfriend rolls his eyes as he pulls away from your grip. 

“Enough, y/n. I always get you out, don’t I?” 

You frown, wrapping your coat tighter around yourself. 

“You try getting caught and being put into jail multiple times in a single month. It’s not funny,” you sigh. 

You don’t even know what it’s like to be tied up by Bakugo fucking Katsuki, you want to add. 

But you keep your mouth shut. 

Ren’s already in a bad mood, jaw clenched tight as he walks faster. You’re almost jogging at this point just to keep up with his pace.

“Asshole,” you mutter under your breath. 

Ren hardly glances at you as the two of you enter your cheap apartment complex, walking silently up the two flights of stairs to your front door.  

You cringe as you round the corner—on your front door is a familiar piece of white paper, the contents of which you already know by heart.

Late rent notice: Dear tenet, your rent was due on the 7th of February. As of the date of this letter, your payment is 4 days past due. 

Frustrated, you rip the paper off of the metal door as Ren reaches over and enters the pin. 

Your jaw drops as he walks inside carelessly, unbothered with the notice. 

The two of you have been dating for almost a year now; you’re long used to his carefree nature. 

That’s what first drew you to him. 

Now it merely disgusts you. 

“Ren,” you cautiously call out as the door shuts behind you, “I think it’s time to give it up.”

Your boyfriend tosses himself onto the wrinkled couch, pointing towards the fridge. Frowning, you head over and grab him a cold beer. 

“Thanks babe.”

You collapse next to him, relishing in the fluffy texture. After being in a holding cell for a few days, you’ve definitely missed the warmth of your home. 

“I know you’re mad, and I understand. But we learned something new from last time, didn’t we? Dynamight was literally showing off his weaknesses! If we just—”

“Ren, stop it! That was the last time. I’m done. Seriously.” 

Your boyfriend is pouting now, reaching over to hold you in his arms. You want to fight back, you should. 

He jumps into his usual rant about how much he hates Dynamight; that asshole, always flaunting his wealth and looks. He’s just a shitty hero with a shitty quirk.

Meanwhile, you’re fighting back tears of frustration. 

How had you gotten here?

A year ago, you had seemingly met the man of your dreams at the villain rehabilitation center (looking back, maybe that hadn’t been the best idea). 

You had been working there as a volunteer and was popular with all of the residents as a bright psychology student and aspiring therapist.

Despite the havoc these wannabe villains had wreaked across Japan, you had treated all of them with kindness and respect, hoping you would be able to make a positive difference in at least a single person’s life. 

How naive you had been. 

“Hey, y/n,” Ren smirks as you gently open the door to the small office. 

You exhale— this one villain has been bothering you more often recently, and he was just too cute for his own good. 

“Takanashi Ren. Your counseling appointment isn’t until later this evening.”

“Aw. I can’t give my favorite therapist a visit?” 

You grin at him, pushing your dark rimmed glasses up your nose. 

“I’m not a therapist yet,” you retort, stepping back as Ren pushes back from his chair, striding over to you. He has you cornered to a wall, and the muscles of his arm flex dangerously, reminding you of his crimes. 

Despite this, all you can notice is how bright his eyes are— gosh, you just love the way they twinkle.

“I’m sure a smart girl like you’ll achieve all your academic dreams. I just hope I’m out of here on time to watch you cross that stage.”

And with that, you’d fallen head over heels for a cringy, third-rate villain with no plans for the immediate future. But the more time you spent with him, you truly felt as though you’d met your match. 

He was intelligent. Witty. Funny. 

Most importantly, he was different. His ideas for a liberated world— where all quirks were considered equal and everyone had the freedom to use their quirks as they wanted— was just unlike what you’d ever considered. 

If only you had paused for a moment and asked him just how he would create that world. 

It had been too late when you had realized what you had gotten yourself into. Now, you spend your days as a college dropout, supporting your boyfriend in his schemes that always end in failure and with you in handcuffs. 

But you had already sworn to devote yourself to him. 

Question. Would you die for me?

Yes.

That’s too easy. Would you live for me?

… Yes.

“y/n, are you listening? We’ll stake out at his condo. I’ll do all the work, babe, you just have to stand watch. I’ve already planned it all out. ”

There it is, that strike of pain in your heart. 

Dynamight. 

That’s all your stupid boyfriend cares about. 

You’re already shaking your head, refusing furiously— but he’s begging, begging!��

… And you sigh and look away. 

“Last. Time.”

You peek out of the corner of your eye to see Ren’s face brighten. 

He really is just as pretty as when you first met him a year ago. 

“I promise, y/n. Last time.”

Fuck Ren and his promises.

From the moment you had scaled Dynamight’s luxurious condo, you had known your boyfriend had skimped on doing his research again. 

There’s no way we’re gonna get away with this.

Stuffed in a large delivery box, you only pray that Ren’s mailman cosplay is good enough to get through the lobby. 

Nervously holding your breath, you cringe as your boyfriend flirts with the ladies at the front desk and wheels you into the elevator. 

Tap tap tap. 

Three gentle knocks on the front of the box and you know it’s your turn.

“I’ve just disabled the hallway cameras,” Ren whispers as he pulls the box open. 

You step out eagerly, stretching, before turning towards the door. 

The corners of your mouth twitch as you suddenly remember why you hate rich people. 

Dynamight’s door just screams narcissism— who really needs a gold plated front door? 

Bakugo, the nameplate reads. The dreaded name you hear on a near-daily basis. 

You scoff as you reach into your pocket and pull out your decoding tool, placing it on the keypad in a single, practiced motion.

Ren taps his foot impatiently as you work with the machine— you only let out a breath of relief as the door buzzes and swings open what feels like an eternity later. 

You’re already sweating as your heart thumps with discomfort and fear at being at the hero’s homebase. 

Comically, it feels as though the two of you have just broken into a villain’s lair. 

“God, babe. You’re the best,” Ren murmurs, pushing you aside. 

He’s a little too eager to ruin his nemesis’ life. 

Ren rushes inside of Dynamight’s home, barely holding back his immediate laughter as he spots the marble dining table. 

He’s already poking around as you carefully close the door quietly behind you, tiptoeing into the large house. 

“Can you believe this man? He’s so fucking full of himself,” Ren spits as he stares at the various newspaper clippings of Dynamight adoring the bookshelves.

Forget that— if you were Dynamight, you’d be living like this too. 

This is life you had envisioned for yourself. 

Gorgeous white pillars uphold a high ceiling and there’s a leather couch in the center of the room. A giant television sits in front of it, almost mocking you. 

One day… When this was all over, would Ren want to live like this with you?

“Come on, babe. We gotta find the data,” Ren says, heading towards the closest door to him. 

The initial excitement has worn off and he’s now refueled by hatred. 

Right. The data. 

If you could just get your hands on the data of all of the current Japanese heroes, that would be the biggest data breach in the history of the World Heroes Association. 

You and Ren would go down as super villains— a title you still weren’t sure if you wanted. 

You repress these useless thoughts, though, and trail Ren around the large home as he throws open doors. 

“Are you sure he’ll even have it?” 

“Yeah, there’s no way a top hero wouldn’t have access to this— Damn! A basement. You think he’d keep his PC down here?”

You think back to your encounters with Dynamight, shivering as you remember his piercing red eyes meeting yours. 

Your boyfriend heads down without hesitation as you follow him, nearly jumping when he yelps in joy. 

“His computer’s right here.” 

You swallow as you turn your head around the dark basement, eyes not yet adjusted to the dark. 

Ren presses the power button of the computer and the entire room lights up from the bright screen. 

Couch, television, gaming consoles, mini fridge— this must be his man cave. 

“Alright. Get on it, babe,” Ren says, stepping back as the flickering monitor. 

Sighing, you lean down, plug in your trusty usb stick into the PC. This was going to be a long day. 

WARNING. 

You jump for real this time, letting out a surprised shout as the machine blares a loud alarm. 

Holy fuck, what’s going on? 

Before you can move, the heavy door to the basement suddenly slams shut— you hear the metallic locks clicking in place.

You glance at Ren in desperation, but he’s not looking at you, only frowning at the computer.

“Get on with it. We have at least 15 minutes, I’ll find a way out by then.”

You don’t bother protesting. Despite his easy going demeanor, you know Ren cares about you.

“Don’t worry, he’s in Korea for a conference,” he reassures you as he steps towards the staircase.

BOOM. 

You scream as you’re pushed back by an explosion, groaning in pain as you strike the side of Dynamight’s large desk. 

Collapsing on the ground, dust arises on either side of you. 

Your ears are ringing and your vision is hopelessly blurry.

When you muster up the strength to touch your stinging face, you wince as your hand comes back bloody. 

Ren. He was closer to the door. 

Your eyes widen as you roll yourself onto your side, trying to reach up to the chair next to you for help—

“Fucker!” 

You gasp as your vision clears and you take in the sight in front of you.

Dynamight has your boyfriend pressed onto the floor and strikes him in the face, once. Twice. Three times. 

Ren tries to fight back, but he’s basically hopelessly laying there, taking in the blows. 

It’s clear you’ve caught him off duty— Dynamight’s clad in nothing but a tank top and shorts. 

Despite that, he dominates your boyfriend easily. He’s kneeling on Ren’s stomach, one hand pinning down your boyfriend’s shoulder and the other punching his face at a sickening rate. 

You do nothing but watch as you watch Ren’s eyes flicker, then shut. 

Adrenaline courses through your veins, taking away the remaining rationality in you.

Pushing yourself onto your feet, you throw yourself at Dynamight, whose eyebrows merely raise as he registers your face.

You pull out your knife, swinging for his neck— Dynamight throws up his arm, blocking your attempt— before you can react, you’re pinned to the ground next to your boyfriend. 

“You… asshole…” you hiss, airflow momentarily cut off.

You struggle against Dynamight's strength, grimacing. You’re on your stomach, hands pinned behind your back. You try to kick him, but the strength in your legs fails you. 

Dynamight lets out a small laugh as he sits on your ass and your eyes widen as you feel his dick through his pants grinding on you purposefully. 

Fucking pervert. 

You turn your head to your side, glaring into Dynamight’s blood-colored eyes. The corners of his eyes are pointed upwards, he’s grinning madly. 

Leaning forward, Bakugo rests his right hand next to your face. Your immediate reaction is to lunge at it, trying to bite, but he pulls back quickly, yanking on your wrists. Your body arches upwards and you wince at the slight pull. 

“Easy. I don’t wanna hurt you.”

Despite your slowly subsiding anger and hatred towards the man on top of you, you feel yourself blushing against your will. 

You hate how he talks to you. You silently remind yourself to take a recording of it next time and report him for sexual harassment. 

While you’re fuming over your current situation and mumbling profanities at him, Bakugo leans back and admires you.

You look really good like this— actually, you look perfect. Your eyes are slightly moist, cheeks flushed and lips a delectable pink. Bakugo’s mouth is watering at the sight. 

He’s already hard. He’s been aching in anticipation since he first got the alert that you broke into his home. 

What would happen if he were to just… 

You’re staring up at Bakugo again, watery eyes meeting his narrowed ones, and he feels a shiver run down his spine as he admires his reflection in them. 

“Can you let me go already? You’ve won, we get it,” you huff, cheeks inflating. 

He wants to stuff them full with his cock.

Easy, Dynamight. You’re a hero. 

He glances down at you apathetically, although his cock is throbbing. 

You ignore it the best you can, although you’re turning pink again.

You shift from side to side, hoping you won’t have to beg him to let you go. 

You’d rather die than do that.

Smirking, he clicks his tongue as he reaches forward with his right hand and strokes your face. 

“Give me a reason. You’re imposing on my home, doing who knows what?” 

Your teeth find his hand this time, sinking into the hardened flesh.

You bite down as hard as you can, wishing he’d just let go of you. Your jaw is just beginning to ache as you muster the courage to look back up at him.

Your blood runs cold as you notice his unchanging expression— he looks almost bored. But something flashes in his eyes.

Fuck, maybe you shouldn’t have done that. 

As you pull back, you squeak as he grabs you by your hair, sliding forward to sit on your wrists.

One hand holds your head upwards, while his other holds your face. His hand engulfs your entire jaw as he forces you to look into his eyes. 

“I could take you right now, but I’ll save that for later.”

From a distance, you hear the shouts of policemen and the sound of footsteps on the stairs. Bakugo lets go and watches as your head falls back onto the floor.

You’re so caught up in the commotion you don’t catch his next words.

“You’ll be begging for it soon, anyway.”

You can do nothing but watch in handcuffs as Ren’s eyes open hazily and focus on you. 

“y/n, I’m so sorry,” he starts. 

You shake your head, smiling sadly at him. Was it really over? 

No, you promised you’d always be with him—

“Dynamight.” 

Your boyfriend’s eyes have shifted from you onto Dynamight, the one person that has been on his mind obsessively for the past few years.. 

Ren’s shouting at Dynamight now, who merely laughs in response. 

You don’t even notice that Dynamight’s staring at you.  

All you notice is that you’re not in Ren’s line of sight anymore. 

The words of policemen and Ren start swirling together as your heartbeat slows.

He’s not in love with you, is he?

You can hear your heart physically shattering.

He’s in love with Dynamight.

Bakugo’s still embarrassingly hard as he readjusts himself, sighing as he looks around his ransacked home. 

The police have taken longer than he’d hoped, making sure to photograph everything.

Even more irritatingly, the medics had tried to heal your teeth marks imprinted in his arm, which he had pulled away quickly. 

“I’m going to save this as evidence during the trial,” Bakugo had quickly lied. 

The young medic had blinked in confusion, but nodded eagerly, not wanting to defy the number one hero’s demand.

When his agency had first received the tip that you and Whiplash would be attempting a data breach, Bakugo had rolled his eyes and hesitated on flying back in early from his vacation.

You and Whiplash were shitty, third-rate villains, if you could be even labeled as such. 

You would always be deserted by your boyfriend, who’d dip the moment Bakugo stepped close to the crime scene. You (with your gorgeous, angered face that turns him on so fast) would be left behind for Bakugo to handcuff. 

Bakugo still remembers the first time he’d been called to a scene with you and Whiplash. 

One year ago, two petty, new criminals had attempted to rob a series of homes in upper Tokyo. 

Bakugo had been whisked away from his date with a pretty newscaster and was irritated to hell— he had been working all night sweet talking to the girl and was surely going to get laid— but when he had gotten to the scene, still pulling on his gloves, all thoughts of regret flew out the window.

“Get me the fuck out of here!” 

The female villain is shouting as she kicks her legs. 

The scene is laughable— her upper half is tapped in the tights washing machine and Bakugo takes his sweet time striding over to you, admiring the curve of your ass and the way you shake as you try to free yourself. 

“What happened here?” 

Bakugo smirks. He’d heard that the male villain had gotten away but the female was still somewhere on the premises. 

He’d been incredibly lucky to find you first. It’s hard to hold back from slapping your ass and ripping those black tights off of you, but Bakugo swallows and moves to touch your hip instead.

You squeak in surprise as you feel two fingers tracing a triangle onto your upper thigh. 

“Stop touching me, pervert! You sick freak! I have a boyfriend! I’ll kill you if you try anything!” 

Your scream is slightly muffled as you bang your hands on the sides of the circular machine.

Your back is aching from being bent over for the past ten minutes and you arch your back, holding back a pained moan. Whoever this asshole was, you were gonna rip him a new one when he freed you. 

Bakugo frowns as ‘boyfriend’ echoes inside his head. 

Were you being truthful or were you just trying to scare him off? 

It’s taking everything in him to not grind against you and with every passing second Bakugo feels closer to losing the battle with his sex driven core.

After another moment of deliberation, Bakugo reaches out, yanking you effortlessly out of the machine. 

God. 

You were just as pretty as he’d hoped. Face flushed and sweaty from being inside a confined space for so long, you collapse on your ass and fan yourself dramatically, taking in big gulps of fresh air before looking up to glare at him. 

“Fucking freak! What sort of perverted police officer are you?” You demand, frowning as Bakugo silently holds his hand out. 

A few seconds of silence pass before you awkwardly take it, allowing him to help you up. 

“Thank you,” you mumble as you wipe your hands on your shirt. 

Your eyebrows are still furrowed with frustration as you bite the inside of your cheek. 

Ugh… you’re so adorable, Bakugo wants to just squeeze you to death. 

Now he really wishes he hadn’t helped you out. You were helpless, bent over just perfectly, practically inviting him…. As his imagination runs wild, he feels the blood rushing towards his groin. 

Oblivious, you stretch your sore body, letting out a soft moan. You’re strangely relaxed, as if you were simply meeting an old friend. 

“I’m going to be arresting you now. Turn around,” Bakugo sighs, shifting his balance from foot to foot. If only he wasn’t an up-and-coming hero.

Your eyebrows raise and the ends of your lips quirk upwards. 

“Isn’t there something else I could do to get out of this?” You tease, turning around and holding your wrists behind your back.

Fuck. Is that you wiggling your ass or is he just seeing things? 

Bakugo’s breath hitches. The cold cuffs in his hands are only furthering his imagination. He’s about to pounce on you, but as he’s deciding which piece of your clothing he’ll rip away first—

“Don’t get any ideas, perv. That was a joke.” 

You giggle at his silence, looking back to glance at his face, which pales in humiliation.

You’re still laughing as Bakugo curses under his breath and shoves you harshly into the police car. 

You wouldn’t be laughing when he fucks you silly—which, he swears, he will one day. 

Since your destined meeting, you had been on Bakugo’s mind. 

Every. Single. Day. 

Your pout. Your delicate hands. Your arching back. Your whines and the way you try to fight back every time he walks you to the police van.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t just a phase.

To Bakugo’s horror, when he met up with the same newscaster from that night, he found himself unable to get hard, no matter how much she sucked him off. 

He could have waved that off as an anomaly, but six girls later, Bakugo finally had to admit he may have a problem on his hands. 

Bakugo knew the solution to his ED and meaningless infatuation with you.

He was sure all he had to do was fuck you. Easy enough— he’s confident in his sex appeal.

But you were also an impossible target.

You and your villain boyfriend moved around constantly, living under various aliases. 

And when Bakugo could finally meet you (about once a month, when your boyfriend’s plans were foiled once again) you were whisked off into police custody before he could even bring up sex. 

How was he even supposed to get to that topic, anyways? 

Hey, y/n. I only get hard when I see you cry. Or, actually, when I just think about you at all. 

Wanna bang?

Bakugo halfheartedly (almost unconsciously, this is just an immediate reaction to seeing you) discards his shorts and briefs as he leans against the back of the couch. 

Staring up at the ceiling, he’s now regretting letting his agency call for backup. 

He’d had you under him, in his own home. He even had a condom ready in his shorts— something he’s started carrying around since last year in hopes he’d get ambushed by you randomly.

It’s unfortunate he couldn’t take things further with you, but for tonight, his imagination and thoughts of you would have to suffice. 

He almost saw you cry…

Bakugo’s almost drooling at the memory of your teary eyes as you stared at your boyfriend, who was dragged away into the back of a van despite his protests.

Fuck. What does he have to do to make you cry? 

He throughout beating up Whiplash would be enough, but maybe you didn’t like your boyfriend as much as he thought— that makes him smile. 

“Ugh…” 

Bakugo can barely hold back a soft moan as his cock hardens quickly, now standing in his hand. 

It’s hot, and typically Bakugo would shed all his clothes, but tiny specks of your blood decorate his white top. It’s like you’re basically touching him.

He admires the bruising teeth prints on his right hand, the one that’s now slowly stroking his dick. 

Your mouth was on his hand. His hand. The thought alone makes him want to cum.

Bakugo allows himself a full stroke, groaning as he presses himself deeper into the couch.

It almost feels as if he’s simply overstimulating himself, as if he’d already cum— that’s how strong you were as a stimulus. 

With how much you tease, you’d start with the tip, wouldn’t you? 

Bakugo gently holds his cock at the base with his left hand and thumbs the tip, rubbing his rough thumb against the wet precum. 

He’d manhandle you, he’s imagined it countless times, it’s what a girl like you needs. 

In his imagination, you’d be a pillow princess. He’s confident about this. 

Your attitude, the way you demand he frees you… it all points towards you being a menace in bed.

You would saunter into the bedroom, wearing nothing but thin lingerie (in his favorite color, dark orange, almost red). You’d smirk as you climb onto his bed, making yourself comfortable. 

Your pretty eyes would narrow as he walks in shirtless with a raging boner. 

You would be sitting there, legs outstretched for him to grasp. 

Bakugo would grab your ankles in each hand, focusing on kissing your precious feet before moving upwards. 

He’d press his lips against your shin, your knee, then suck your plush thighs, savoring your taste. 

He’d maintain his eyes on you throughout, admiring the way your lips part slightly and your heavy breaths. You’d glare at him when you notice him staring at you— you’re always fighting back, aren’t you?

But in bed he’s the one in control. 

He’d get to your panties and give your clothed clit a lick, pinning down your legs that threaten to close. 

Bakugo would suck, embracing the taste of lace and your juices leaking from across the other side of clothing. 

Contrary to popular belief, Bakugo wasn’t that full of himself. 

In bed, he only has one priority— your pleasure. 

Bakugo allows himself to slightly loosen his grip and start stroking his entire length slowly, just like how you’d do it. 

Just a few singular strokes feel so good, his entire body lights up, electricity running up his spine. 

He runs his thumb along the one long vein from the base of his cock, shivering. His cock is getting heavier in his hand and a familiar pressure is slowly building in his stomach. 

After a few moments, Bakugo would finally push aside the flimsy fabric, licking your clit directly. 

He’d be fisting his cock while doing so, like he’s doing now, stroking to the rhythm of his flattened tongue. 

He’d be almost drooling at the taste, sometimes letting himself wander to your hole and slip his tongue in your tightness. He’d continue alternating between sucking and licking, relishing in your increasingly loud moans. 

Your legs would begin to tremble beneath him and you’d start begging quietly despite your stubbornness.

Your eyes would start to roll to the back of your head— and that’s when he’d stop, pulling away entirely, still stroking himself, tightening his fist around his heat if necessary to prevent himself from releasing. 

You’d whine and maybe kick him, legs weakened from your ruined orgasm. 

A little edging never hurt anyone. 

It only makes the pleasure of a shared orgasm stronger. 

Bakugo would tease your hole, nudging at the entrance with the tip of his leaking cock. 

Without warning, he’d thrust— you’d groan from the intrusion, grasping the sheets. 

He’d start moving mercilessly, pulling out his length to the tip before slamming it back in, over and over. He would quicken with your moans fueling his pace. 

He’d lean over to capture your pretty lips with his, intertwining your tongues. 

Fuck, Bakugo really isn’t going to last, especially with his new favorite mental photograph—you lying on your back helplessly. Bakugo’s mind does the photoshop for him, removing the debris from the explosion and placing the two of you on his bed.

He’s stroking himself fervently now, at the same pace he imagines himself fucking you at. 

You’d be shaking under him, holding back your tears. And, in typical y/n fashion, your pride would force you to hold your moans back. You’d be pressing your trembling hand against your mouth, wouldn’t you? You would be biting down on it, with the same teeth that were clamped down on his own hand earlier.

You’d cum as he rubs his thumb roughly against your clit, eyes rolling to the back of your head, mouth dropping open. 

Bakugo would make sure to ride you out throughout the entirety of your orgasm before allowing himself to fall into how tight and wet you are and reaching his peak himself. 

“y/n… I’m cumming…” 

Bakugo bites back a groan as his eyes close, lips almost breaking from how hard he’s clenching down. 

Continuing to pump, Bakugo’s hips lift as he thrusts into his fist one final time—his orgasm is so strong, it feels as though he’s losing control of his entire body, shaking as he feels his cum squirt and his cock pulsing from the base. 

When Bakugo finally gathers his energy, he opens his eyes, blinking uncomfortably at the harsh lights of the living room. There’s warm cum now cooling all over his hands and the coffee table in front of him, only adding to the list of things he has to clean up after your little home invasion. 

Sighing, Bakugo stands up, grabbing a tissue and wiping the traces of his release away. 

It’s a little humiliating.

Yet another day of having to imagine you writhing under him to get off. 

Bakugo won’t admit it— he never will— but honestly, it’s not as bad as he makes it out to be.

But he knows the real thing will be better. 

Now, if only he could get his hands on you… 

a/n yeah so i rewrote this whole thing on 4 hours of sleep so its prob shit and the formatting is wonky but whatevs.

STAN ENHYPEN STREAM SWEET VENOM (ENG VER)

[its-time-to-write]

Omg I'm loving your response to my prompts!! thank you

I have a few ideas (You don't have to do them all) just throwing them out there to see what sparks ideas!!

I love secret admirer stories (I know its no where close to valentines day but still) maybe Reader is Rebecca's assistant and keeps getting gifts leading up to valentines day but she is pretty sure its like Sam or Isaac and tells friend Jaime (even though its really him) then the day of the grand finale and she comes to the lovely surprise of it being Jaime!

also if you could include Scarlett red roses in it for me (They are my favorite flower and the only flower I'm not allergic to)

So. I liked this one. Maybe too much? It might be the longest one I’ve written so far, so, uh, sorry about that. But I liked it a lot. It might be one of my favorite things I’ve ever written. Hope you enjoy. also the gif isn’t Jamie Tartt but it is Phil Dunster so hopefully that’s ok

honey, i’ll give you all my time

Good god, it’s February all ready. You have a love-hate relationship with the month; love, because Galentine’s Day and hate because Valentine’s Day. You and your friends would go out on February 15th to get discount chocolate from the shops, then return home for an ungodly amount of takeout and a movie. On the whole, you all preferred action movies with a good romance. 

You’re dreading Valentine’s Day because it’s when your boyfriend of two years held your hands in his, and told you he wanted to break up. 

That was a year ago. You’re mostly angry that he’s a dark stain on one of your favorite holidays. You’re absolutely determined not to let him ruin your enjoyment. 

This is also the first year you’re not with your friends. You moved away last March because you realized your ex had been holding you back in far too many ways. 

So. To recap. 

You’re alone. You love Valentine’s Day, despite it forever being the day of your breakup. Your friends aren’t here. You have new friends. There is no one to go to the shops with on the 15th. But discount chocolate is still discount chocolate. 

Your current job is as a personal assistant, something you excel at. You basically anticipate needs, meet them, and just generally make your employer’s life a whole lot easier. The application said the job required a lot of travel, but all expenses (minus some food) were covered. 

You were shocked when you got an interview, then a second, then a third, then were hired. 

Your boss is a woman named Rebecca Welton, and you’re half in love with her, but who isn’t, really?

You swear you’ve never been in such a healthy work environment. You mention it one day, early on, and she says it’s all thanks to their head coach, someone named Ted. 

You meet him for the first time later that day, and you understand. 

It’s impossible not to love him, because he has vision. He knows what he wants from his team, and he knows how to get it. 

He believes the team extends far beyond the players. 

He believes it extends to you, too. 

Ted and Coach Beard steal you from Rebecca as often as they can, claiming emergencies such as “a toxic amount of testosterone from all these boys,” “life-threatening boredom,” and last but not least, “there’s a new pun Ted absolutely needs to test right now and he won’t take no for an answer.”

(You like to give Ted honest feedback on his puns.) 

You also find yourself in their office when Rebecca is out for lunch, eating your respective sandwiches and swapping life stories. 

They remind you a lot of your parents.

It’s mid-June when you mention the Valentine’s Day story. 

It doesn’t hurt as much when it’s punctuated by Ted’s “he didn’ts” and Beard’s perfectly-timed gasps. 

You find yourself laughing halfway through, unable to stop. 

“And anyway,” you finish, cheeks painful from smiling so hard, “that’s why romantic love is a joke and I am drowning myself in platonic love forever.”

Ted and Beard share a look. “I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” Beard says. 

You shoot him a quizzical look. “What do you mean?”

“Well sweetheart,” Ted says, “between the two of us collectively,” here points between him and Beard, “we know of at least three of the boys on the team who are madly in love with you.”

“What?” you gasp, “How did you- where did you- who??”

Ted zips his lips and Beard tips a finger to him. “We know of five if we count Rebecca’s intel.”

You’re sitting cross-legged on the edge of Beard’s desk, in shock. “Rebecca knows about this??”

Ted and Beard shrug in unison. “We all have our opinions on which one should shoot their shot, but that’s neither here nor there,” Ted says. 

“Coincidentally, it’s the one thing we unanimously agree on,” Beard nods. 

You’re cut off from saying anything by the door opening. One of the players stands in the doorway. 

“Excuse me, coach,” he says, accent thick. 

Ted motions in a you have the floor type of way, and the footballer turns to address you of all people. “We’re all goin’ out tonight, and Keeley sent me to invite the new girl. None of the lads have really met you yet, just seen you ‘round. Thought it might be good for team bonding, or something. I’m Jamie, by the way.”

“Oh,” you say, taken aback. “I guess- yeah, I guess I haven’t really met them. I mean, I see you guys around and stuff and I’m at your games, but I don’t really know you. Are you sure you want me to come?”

Jamie shrugs. “Coach is always on us about bein’ a team or some shit. And, havin’ a girl around makes the lads look good.”

You think that makes sense, and then find yourself agreeing to go out that night with a group of footballers you don’t know, and (thank god) Keeley Jones. 

You’re going to figure out which five before the summer’s over. 

—

You have nice time out with the lads. They go to a bar and cram into separate booths. You’re wedged in between two who have introduced themselves as Isaac and Dani, and across from Sam, Bumbercatch, and Jan Maas. Roy, Richard, and a few others you don’t know are milling about, and you see Jamie and Keeley at a table, surrounding by giggling girls. The sight is so absurd that you catch yourself smiling and turning back to whatever conspiracy Bumbercatch is telling you about now. 

—

You put Sam at the top of your list as soon as you get home. The man wears his heart on his sleeve, or maybe in his eyes, but you’re positive that he’s one of the five Ted and Beard referred to. One down, four to go. 

— 

It’s the end of July, and you begin to become friends with the team. You know for an absolute fact who is not interested in you, Jamie being one of them. Coincidentally, he’s the one you become closest to. You think it’s because you’re not worrying about sending mixed signals or leading him on. You dropped public hints about not really looking for anything romantic, just to be sure you wouldn’t hurt anyone. 

As it is, Jan Maas and Dani have made the list. Jan Maas, because he stifled his Dutch bluntness for you and Dani, because he openly declared he was madly in love with you in front of the whole team. 

—

Isaac makes the list in December. It had been in between him and Bumbercatch, but Isaac was the one who walked you to your car every night and the first one to say hello to you every morning. 

You’re not gonna lie, it was cute. 

You shared some of this with Ted and Beard, who remained impressively stone-faced. Rebecca proved to be equally impervious.

You shared all of it with your lunch-buddy-turned-work-bestie, Jamie. 

You ate with him because Rebecca was constantly in lunch meetings these days, and Ted, Beard, and Roy were always revamping their football strategies.

Jamie would plop down at your table and say, “What’s the news, Amy Hughes?” in his perfect Mancunian accent, and then listen/add commentary to whatever you had to say. 

You explained to him that the reason you wanted to know who liked you was so that you could be extra careful with their hearts. You knew what it was like to be led on, and you did NOT want to do that to someone else. 

Jamie nodded thoughtfully at that and then said, “We’re all footballers though, ain’t we? We get the shit end of the stick all the time, hearts broke by models and whatever. Even ends up in the fucking press. Everyone here’s has their heart broken before, and we all know you aren’t doing it on purpose.”

You wrinkle your nose at him. “I’m pretty sure it’s short end of the stick, Jamie.”

And thus begins your lunch hour of bickering. 

—

No one has made a move on you yet, and you don’t have a read on number five. You still think it may be Bumbercatch, but in reality, it slips from your mind. Sam’s moved on, Jan Maas has accepted defeat, Dani swears he will love you until the day he dies, and Isaac stays, well, Isaac. Still sweet. Still walking you to your car, coming round extra early in the morning with a coffee or a water, depending on which “looked less like shit.”

Really though, you don’t think about it until February first, when you walk into your office to a small box on your desk. 

At first, you think it’s a box of Ted’s biscuits. 

Then, you notice a small, scarlet-red rose taped to the top. There’s no note, and all that’s inside is a tiny paper heart. 

It’s folded with extreme care, and you place it on your shelf, smelling the rose. It smells amazing and you make a mental note to figure out where the heck it came from. But for now, it’s time to work. 

—

You don’t mention the gifts until February third, because now there’s been one a day. Each one with a scarlet red rose, and a different gift. Yesterday was an incredibly expensive bar of chocolate (it was life-changing) and today is a tiny gold bracelet.

It’s a simple enough chain, but it is absolutely breathtaking. There is no mistaking the fact that it is not cheap, so you take it and march straight to Rebecca’s office.  

“Rebecca,” you say, hands outstretched, “look.”

She does, smiles, then says, “It appears you have a secret admirer.”

“But I don’t want that!” you cry. “I don’t even have time for that! I don’t even like anybody right now!”

She peers at you over her glasses. “Don’t you?”

The sheer weight of those words is enough to physically knock you back two steps. 

You don’t, you swear you don’t, you’re absolutely sure. 

What about Vienna? a voice in the very back of your head nags.

You reply, out loud, “We don’t talk about Vienna,” and Rebecca just shrugs. 

“Have it your way,” she replies in a tone that means this conversation is over, but you’re the one ending it.

You turn on your heel and find yourself taking the route to Ted and Beard. 

You burst into their office in such a flurry that the entire room turns to look at you. “Close the door,” you say with such urgency, that Trent hurries to comply. Beard even shuts the blinds. 

“What’s on your mind, Ollie Cline?” Ted asks. 

“Wait,” you say, holding up a hand. You point to Roy. “Do you want to be here? It involves feelings.”

“Fuck no,” says Roy, “thanks for being fucking considerate.” He follows it up with a pointed glare at Ted, then goes into his office and firmly shuts the door. 

“Can he be here?” Ted asks, tilting his head toward Trent. 

“I don’t care, he’s probably a good one to have around for this because look!” You present the three collected roses and the bracelet. 

“Someone’s started leaving me gifts, and I’m pretty sure it’s a Valentine’s thing because of the roses, and it was fine for the first two days but this is expensive, and I can’t accept this!”

Ted and Beard share a look. You hate it when they do that and leave you out. 

Ted sighs. “Listen, do you think this about Vienna?”

You fix him with a glare. “No. We are not talking about Vienna ever again.”

Trent pipes up, “What’s Vienna?” and you wheel around on him, taking your glare with you. 

“Vienna," you spit, like it’s poisonous, “is a terrible, awful place where people think terrible, awful things. I never want to talk about it again and I never will.”

Trent nods. “Noted.” 

You turn back to Ted and Beard, pleadingly. “What do I do? Tell me what to do.”

Beard gets up and puts his hand on your shoulder. “Kid, if you want my advice, take the damn roses and wear the damn bracelet. These boys make more money than they know how to spend, so just let it go. They all know how you feel about dating, so if someone’s shooting their shot, they know the stakes.”

You shake your head. “Fine. Fine. I’ll let it go.” 

—

You decide to tell Jamie on day five, because it’s a Friday and you’re dying to get his take. You tell him everything, show him the roses in your office (hanging upside down to dry), and then hand him the notebook that was in today’s box. 

“Jamie,” you say, “this is an expensive notebook. There was a typed note inside that said, ‘for your drawings.’ How did this person even know I like drawing? I never talk about it!”

Jamie looks at you and laughs a little. You’re very flustered for something most people would enjoy. “Dunno, love, but we’ve all seen the sticky notes you leave Coach. That might be it.”

You groan and flop down into your chair. 

“At least tomorrow’s the weekend,” you say.

—

Jamie’s phone dings at 9:00am on Saturday with a text from you that says, what the actual heck and a picture of a brown bag at your doorstep. Inside is a plastic box of your favorite lemon muffin from a local bakery. He emphasized the image, then waits for your response. 

It was still warm, you write. It was someone who knows where I live and knows what time I leave to get breakfast.

Jamie grins and sends you a shrugging emoji, and you respond with an eye roll and a you’re no fun.

Jamie reads that and privately disagrees. He thinks he’s lots of fun

—

You’re pretty sure it’s Isaac. After all, he’s the only likely candidate. He’s one of the few who knows where you live and knows your routine. Not in a creepy way, in a we’re-good-friends type of way. You bring this up to Jamie, after personally banning all talk of this with Ted, Beard, and Rebecca. Stupid Vienna. You should never have told them. 

Jamie shrugs for the millionth, infuriating time. He’s been noncommittal this whole time. You’re over here pouring out your heart and soul, considering whether you like Isaac romantically or not, and all he can say is, “I dunno?” 

This is not the Jamie Tartt you’ve become best friends with. 

That Jamie would be down to hunt this secret admirer with you. That Jamie would be helping you figure out if Isaac had a chance with you. That Jamie would be way more engaged than the one sitting in front of you right now. 

But, you suppose maybe that Jamie died in Vienna, so you stop bringing it up.

—

It’s day ten. Valentine’s Day is in four day, and you’re nervous. 

You’ve decided you don’t like Isaac like that, mainly because it shouldn’t take you that long to decide if you like anyone. There has to be an initial spark, and you shouldn’t try to manufacture it. 

Still, you’re not sure it is Isaac, so you’re not going to say anything about it. The scarlet red roses hang on your office wall, permeating the room with their scent. 

You feel like you’re dying. 

This is a cruel joke and you’re dying. 

The building is basically empty right now. Rebecca and Higgins have some meeting, the team is on the pitch (including Will) and various other staff are somewhere far away from you. So, you jump a little when Trent Crimm comes tripping into your office. 

“Vienna,” he says, no greeting. “If you didn’t want to talk about it, you wouldn’t have told anyone. I’m assuming you do want to talk about it, but you don’t want judgement from the people you love. I’m here to offer my services as a neutral party.”

You look at him. “Trent. You are a journalist. Your whole job is writing down people’s secrets. Why on earth would I talk to you about the worst day of my life?”

Trent shrugs. “I’m good at keeping secrets. This would be off the record. I’ve never lied to people about off the record, also. I consider it bad journalism.”

You consider this for a moment, then sigh. 

“Alright,” you concede. “At least if this gets out, I know whose head I’m shaving in retaliation.”

Trent looks at you in surprise, seeing you in a whole new, slightly threatening light.

“It happened two months ago. It was around Christmas, and I didn’t have anywhere to go…”

—

Your family all had their own separate plans that Christmas. Plans that didn’t really involve you. Same with your friends. You said something casually to Rebecca, and the next day she told you she had booked you a trip to Vienna. Call it an early Christmas present, she said. It was at the Aumaris Vienna, and it was gorgeous and ridiculously out of your budget, but she said you worked hard and gave her peace-of-mind, and you can’t really put a price on that, can you?

So you went. 

But here’s the thing. 

Someone else didn’t have Christmas plans. 

So when you brought up your trip at your daily lunch, said someone else casually asked, can I come? 

You almost choked on your sandwich. 

Because here’s the other thing.

You were, maybe, kind of, possibly just a little bit head over heels in love with this someone else.

You’re not sure when it happened, really, just that it was probably in August and that it was soul-crushing because you knew for an absolute fact that he did not, and never would, feel the same way. 

You didn’t tell anyone except Keeley, but under the condition that she just let you say it and that she never, ever give you a response to it. Just listen. 

She did, but you were pretty sure she almost combusted. 

But who are you to say no when Jamie Tartt invited himself on your luxurious Christmas vacation saying, I’ll pay extra to get a plane ticket next to you? 

You were doomed from the start. 

To make matters totally and impossibly worse, he couldn’t find another room. 

He had his tickets, but the hotels, he said, were packed. 

It was Christmas, after all. 

So that’s how you ended up in a luxury hotel with Jamie Tartt for a week and a half, one day of which was Christmas. 

You know the, “there was only one bed” trope that everyone thinks is so cute?

It was that, but only if you add deep, shattering heartbreak to it. 

Because every night, you had to listen to Jamie say, “goodnight, love,” and then get into that giant, soft bed as far away from him as you could manage. 

Every morning you woke up to the pillow barricade long gone, one of his arms thrown around you. Or one of your legs on top of his. Or a million different scenarios where you end up literally asleep together, some weird gravity pulling you to each other. 

You were falling so hard and so fast, that you felt like the air was knocked from your lungs when Jamie started talking about the girl he liked. 

“She’s just so fucking beautiful,” he’d say, staring at an Alpine mountain. Or, “Swear she’s the smartest fucking person I’ve ever met,” while traipsing through the city. Or, “Pretty sure she’s ruined me for everyone else,” while getting facials at the hotel spa. 

To be fair, you were the one who teased him into admitting he liked someone. 

You just didn’t expect it to hurt so much. 

The entire trip felt like heaven and hell had simultaneously converged on you, and you never wanted to leave but also desperately counted the days till it was over. 

You came back and broke down in Rebecca’s office. Ted and Beard were there. The whole thing came spilling out, about how you loved the trip so much it felt like your heart would explode but that Jamie loved someone else. 

They all exchanged looks amongst themselves and did their best to comfort you. 

You pulled yourself together and they promised never to say anything to anyone. 

—

“So that’s Vienna,” you finish. 

Trent is just staring at you, mouth slightly agape. 

He finally says, “My god, that’s fucked,” with such emotion that you decide right then and there that you like Trent Crimm and his rainbow mug. 

Now, you just shrug. “I did it to myself, honestly. That’s why I’m tripping out about this secret admirer thing. And god, Trent, the roses. They’re so beautiful and it’s so romantic, and whoever it is obviously knows me well so there’s a part of me that wants to like this person, but…” you trail off. 

“But there’s a part of you that’s hoping against hope that Jamie’s behind it all,” Trent finishes. 

You let out a little laugh. “Yeah, that about sums it up.”

Trent looks at the roses, then at you. “Maybe you should talk to Jamie,” he says, gently. 

You reply with a forceful, “No,” and then follow up with a small, “That’s what Ted and Rebecca say, too.” 

Trent stands up, shrugs, says with a small smile, “Just a thought,” then he’s out the way he came. 

—

It is Valentine’s Day. And it’s a Sunday, which means you are legally required to stay in bed until 10, at which point you will get out only to make yourself decent enough to go buy a good cup of coffee and maybe (definitely) something to eat. 

You’ve just finished putting on your shoes, when there’s a knock at the door. 

You take a breath, and get ready to let down your secret admirer as gently as possible. 

You swing open the door to reveal- 

“Jamie! What are you doing here?”

Jamie Tartt is on your doorstep, hands behind his back, looking shyer than the day you first met. 

He opens his mouth and says the last thing you’d ever expect:

“D’you remember Vienna?”

Your heart, which had already been going fast because his dumb floppy hair was all dumb and floppy in his stupid, cute headband, is now working double time. You manage a nod. 

Jamie takes this as permission to continue. “D’you remember how I couldn’t get another room, no matter how hard I tried? That wasn’t true. I could’ve.” He pauses, and you wait for him to continue. 

“And d’you remember when we met, when I told you Keeley told me to invite you out? That was a lie too.”

You tilt your head, confused. He keeps going. 

“Look- I fucked it. I fucked it a million times and I told Ted and I told Beard, but they kept helping me un-fuck it and giving me chances, and then Rebecca bought two tickets to Vienna and slipped me the other one, and they all told me I had a perfect shot.” 

You’re still not understanding what he’s saying. He might as well be speaking another language. Jamie sees the confusion in your eyes, takes a breath, and tries again. 

“Keeley told me to invite you out, but only because I’d seen you around and thought you were fit. Then Isaac and all the lads thought the same thing, so I didn’t even get to fuckin’ sit with you. And then you started sayin’ things about not bein’ ready for a relationship, so I tried to let it go. I really fucking tried. But I just couldn’t. Your eyes are too sparkly and your laugh is too fucking cute and I couldn’t let it go, so I started eating lunch with you and you fucking let me. I knew the moment I said anything about liking you, it was over.”

Comprehension has started to dawn, but you push down hope until Jamie’s done speaking. 

“Everyone told me to shoot my shot in Vienna. We shared a bed, for fuck’s sake.” Here, Jamie looks bewildered. “But I dunno, I didn’t want to make shit weird. So when you asked if I liked anyone I said yeah, and started fuckin describing you, but you never fucking picked up on it. That’s when I got the idea to try one more time. All by meself, no help from anyone else. So…yeah.”

Jamie Tartt is standing on your porch confessing his love for you on Valentine’s Day and it is not a dream, because if it were your teeth would be falling out and his hair would probably be neon pink. 

“I’m an idiot,” you breathe. “You like me? Like, like-like me?”

Jamie quirks a smile at that. “Not quite, darling. Pretty fucking sure I love you.” He pulls his hand from behind his back to reveal a bunch of scarlet red roses. The same from each gift. 

“Got these for you,” he says. “D’you know how hard it is to get red roses in February?”

You don’t answer him because you’re leaping into his arms, kissing him like you’ve thought about doing every day for what feels like forever. He’s kissing you back, hand with the flowers pressed against your back, other hand in your hair. 

“I love you too, Jamie,” you whisper against his mouth. He smiles and pulls you in again. 

[sailorsplatoon]

It's tiiiiiime!!! I'm finally posting a new fic again!!!

This work was proofread by the amazing matuili and the equally amazing Tar4All! They both helped me immensely, so they get extra special thank you's!

Now, without further ado, I give you, the first chapter of An LED Light at the End of the Tunnel!

You can also read it on ao3!

Next chapter

(Fanfic under cut)

Four sat outside the little hut in Octo Canyon, glued to their phone. It had been exactly one year since Marie left for Splatsville, along with Callie, Cuttlefish, Eight, and Captain 3. February 17. They had it marked in their calendar app. Every day since then, Four texted Marie, and every day, they never received a reply. 

By now, almost everyone had left Inkopolis. Four had been alone for nearly two months. Even the Great Zapfish had gone. The emptiness scared them, how they were the only one there. It left a pit in their stomach. They spent most of their time in Octo Canyon, because at least Octavio was someone to talk to. Granted, he didn’t exactly have a choice, but Four was desperate for some company. 

Octavio faked a cough, seemingly to clear his throat. Either that or dispel Four’s gloomy silence. “She’s still not responding to your texts, huh? You know, if you let me out I have technology that could—”

“For the last time, no. I’m not putting on your brainwashing glasses. And she’ll respond. She’s probably just… caught up in agent work or something,” Four interrupted, trying to mask the shakiness in their voice.

“The first stage of grief is denial.”

“The stages of grief theory has been widely debunked by therapists and psychologists as everyone grieves differently. It is considered outdated and unhelpful by many professionals.” Four rattled off the facts as if they were reading from a textbook.

“Nerd.”

“Shut up.”

Hey, Marie. It’s Four again. Octavio keeps trying to get me to let him out. It’s honestly pretty lonely here.

They sent another text among the several unanswered ones.

“Marie cares about me, she knows how important she is to me. She would never ignore me on purpose,” Four spoke more to themself than to Octavio. “I just hope she’s not still mad at me…”

“You guys got into a pretty big fight before she left, right?” Octavio leaned onto the side of his snow globe that was closest to Four, eyeballing them as he spoke.

“Yeah. But we made up. I thought.” Four didn’t look up from their phone, staring at it for a few seconds in a desperate hope that Marie would reply.

“Have you texted anyone else?” Octavio pried.

Four didn’t answer. They hadn’t. They were too scared to. Maybe, if Marie was actually mad at them, the others were too. They knew that probably wasn’t the case, they knew they were being irrational. But they just couldn’t make their fingers type out a message to anyone else. Their hands were already shaking at the thought.

Octavio saw their silence and sighed. “Look, kid, I’m gonna give it to you straight. I’m worried about you. And trust me, I am the last person to be worried about a squid. But I really think I could help.”

“Whatever. It’s getting late. I’m heading home.” Four grabbed their bag and stood up, heading towards the grate. They stopped in front of it, and stared at their phone again.

 I really need you right now.

They pressed send, then disappeared into the drain.

****

“Keep going, Agent 4, you’ve almost made it to the zapfish!” Marie’s voice came through Four’s headphones, encouraging them to keep pushing through the hordes of octarians. They made it to the zapfish and popped the shield, grabbing the little electric catfish in their arms.

“Nice job, Four! Now you just gotta make it out of the kettle. Since this one is so far underground, you won’t be able to super jump out. Just retrace yo—” There was a glitching noise and then static. Their headphones had cut out. Which meant they had no contact with Marie. And they’d splatted all the octarians in the kettle. They were entirely alone. Four’s chest started to feel tight and their hearts were racing. Their breathing became uneven and shallow, their legs shook.

“Whoa, okay… calm down… breathe…” Four spoke out loud to themself. The little zapfish wiggled around in their arms as if to try and comfort them. 

“Right, I still have you, little guy. Thanks for the reminder.” They patted the zapfish on the head in a gesture of gratitude. “Okay… let’s do this.”

A few minutes later, Four popped out of the kettle.

“Four, you’re back. I think I lost communication with you in there. I was worried something had happen— oh my cod, Four are you okay?” In the middle of Marie’s sentence, she had noticed Agent 4’s current state. They were standing there, shaking. Tears were streaming down their face.

“Yeah… I uh… I just don’t do well with being alone…” Their voice broke and they avoided eye contact.

“Oh, Four. Come here.” Marie pulled them into a hug. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea. I’ll have Sheldon upgrade both your headset and my equipment before you go on anymore missions. I won’t let this happen again. I promise.”

****

“Back then… She promised…” Four thought, sitting on the floor of their apartment, leaning up against their bed frame. Yet again, they were staring at their phone. This time, it was Callie’s private social media page. She reserved it only for members of the New Squidbeak Splatoon.

Life in the Splatlands has been slow regarding professional work, but that’s just the more reason to take it easy! Me, Marie, Eight, and the Captain have been going out exploring Splatsville almost every day, the city just keeps getting better! Gramps will even occasionally tag along. So far nothing concerning regarding the NSS. We found some fuzzy looking ooze stuff in The Crater, but as long as no one touches it we’ll be fine!

Four placed their phone face down on the floor and held their head in their hands. “She wasn’t busy. She was ignoring me. She really is still mad at me, isn’t she? Oh cod, maybe all my texts came off as too desperate. She must hate me now. Why else would they all leave me alone here with no one but…” Octavio’s offer buzzed in the back of Four’s mind. “No, you can’t do that. You’d be letting everyone down.” They squeezed their legs into their chest and rested their head on their knees, mumbling, “But, it’s not like you haven’t already…”

They’d made up their mind.

[dawnoftime22]

"...and it just did."

| W.M ( -> N.R)

Undeserving of a Love Like Yours, Chapter 5

Chapter Warnings: A very emotionally packed chapter, relationship problems, cheating, arguing, anxiety, overthinking, andd...just be prepared.

Summary: The truth unfolds itself easily on a special day.

Series Summary: When you're stuck in a complete hole of confusion and hurt with the one you thought you loved most, a certain redhead finds her way into your life.

Word Count: 8.7k (...oops)

Category: Angst.

A/N: this chapter has been eeeeverywhere with me. I wrote it in the car, at work, in my bedroom, and even at a hotel room. but, I hope you all enjoy<3 it's a whole lot, so it was quite difficult to finish, but february's over and I have more free time again!

also theres a playlist for this series out now :] in case you need something to listen to while reading. be careful while scrolling the songs to avoid just bits of teensy spoilers<3

Series Playlist

| Started on 10/01/2024, 12:16 PM |

| Finished on 05/03/2024, 3:45 PM |

Masterlist | Series Masterlist | N.R Masterlist

<- Chapter 4 Chapter 6 ->

"What is there to say?"

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You drag your feet across the wooden floorboards, making your way towards the kitchen. Here it is again, the same routine. But yet this time, you see a sticky note left on the marble counter, illuminated by a dim overhead lighting.

You furrow your eyebrows, but go over to read it anyway, the bright color a big difference to the white counter. 'might not be home until tomorrow,' was written on the piece of paper. Your heart didn't drop as much anymore. Your shoulders only droop a little, as if just a teensy bit more weight had been added.

A quiet breath leaves your mouth. Your hand picks up the sticky note and scraps it up within your palms, throwing it off to a nearby trashcan in the kitchen. Who else needed to read it anyway? It was only for you. Only for you.

You shook your head of the remaining thoughts you had of her, but she couldn't quite leave your mind at least once. Always there. Always lingering. As if you had been cursed. But in honest truth, the only curse you had upon you was the spell of love.

Today was a special day. Key word on the was. Some type of hope swirling in your heart maybe had you looking forward to this day, but all of it had just gone down along with the piece of paper in the trash. Your eyes also flicker to it once more, seeing the many other colored paper sitting scrunched up with the one from just now. At least she had the decency to still leave notes.

But, today was, of course...your birthday. And out of all the people, your favorite person was certainly not present. Maybe she had forgotten, you thought. Maybe she just didn't care enough this year...no, how could she?

You snap yourself out, having stared off at the sunlight shining in through the windows. You go to the fridge to see what was still in there. A bitten sandwich from last night, and some leftover chickens, but your lip forms a line and you close it, your hand dropping off to your pocket to retrieve your phone.

It was currently 9:45 AM, the digits frozen still on the same numbers until the full sixty seconds passes by. Your mind was in a haze, but your stomach was empty and it urged you to find some food. Were you just going to go out by yourself? Your body seemed to stop you from even going to the living room. Take-out was an option, but instead you simply laid your phone down on the counter, it making a small noise, the textures clashing.

You put your head in your hands, covering up your face and sliding your fingers across your skin, your palm cupping your own cheeks as a way to get a grip of yourself.

Your phone came up with a notification of your calendar, getting out with a reminder of your birthday. What great timing. You clear it off your screen and unlock your phone, roaming the apps.

Just as you were about to push yourself off the counter and grab the last of the food in the fridge, your screen changes without you touching anything. The contact name came up with...Carol?

Your face relaxes a bit and your thumb hesitantly goes to pick it up rather than tap on the red button, the ringing going away. The phone goes along with your hand when you put it against your ear.

"Hey Carol." You say casually, trying your best not to sound too questionable, as it wasn't usual that she'd call you. You hear some distinct voices whispering in the background of her side, one sounding like a young kid.

"Hey, just wanted to call and um...check in on you?" Her voice ended up sounding questionable instead, and your face goes into a confused reaction, although a smile growing on your lips. You let out a small chuckle, your eyes roaming the space of the room as you thought of your words.

"'Check in on me?' Come on, you rarely do that." Your hand goes to grab a nearby notebook that's been left on the counter, saved for recipes. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to say happy birthday to you. Maria reminded me and she and Monica got me to...call you." You assume she had a small pause in her sentence because she was looking over at the other two people in the room with her, which was who you had heard earlier.

"That's nice of her. And thank you." The pages of the book was soft against your hands, your fingers tracing and fiddling with some as you smiled softly at the thought of Maria scolding Carol for having forgotten.

"Well that, or, I would probably not have any pancakes for myself right about now." She says, her mouth nearly sounding like it was full. You'd guessed it was.

"Even though you were threatened to wish me, thank you." You add on, laughing gently as you did. There was a page you landed on in the notebook with a cookie recipe. One, specifically where you and Wanda had made together, having shared a wonderful memory that day.

You could feel your heart beat within your chest, the pace going quicker as your eyes looked over the words written on the paper that was accompanied with smiley faces and hearts here and there.

The smile on your face had definitely faltered. You take in a deep breath, letting it out once you let yourself close the book. Carol's voice snaps you back to reality, having remembered you were talking with her.

"I'm kidding, I would've called you up either way. Really though, how are you?" Your teeth sank down on your bottom lip, probably enough to puncture the skin or leave a small mark, but you let it go once you talked.

"I'm...fine. Other than sitting in my house alone not knowing what to do than sulk in bed or contemplating my life choices." With that answer, the blonde definitely knew something wasn't entirely right. She stays quiet for a while, perhaps thinking.

"Do you wanna go out and hang at the bar? We can do some karaoke if you want that as a birthday present." She offers, and the attempt makes you smile weakly. She never really knew what to do for your birthday, not being the type to do birthdays more than just a simple wish to them. But for you, she'd offer to hang out, which is what you love to do most of the time.

"Sorry, but I don't really feel like partying or anything right about now. Well, tempting, but, I just wanna relax." You say quietly, sliding the recipe book back to its original place.

"Okay, then..." Carol trails off as her mind tries to come up with some more ideas. You were about to think she was going to just hang up sooner or later, but then you hear her voice continue with a more interesting take.

"There's the mall." You raise your eyebrows. She couldn't see you with you being over the phone, but she just knew you were probably surprised. And you were.

"And what would we do there?" You ask, your mind unable to conjure up the slightest of an imagination of going to the mall with her in a casual situation.

"Well, we could grab some ice cream, buy some things, go to the arcade, go...I don't know." She suggests, just nearly giving up. She wasn't good at this type of stuff really, she's simply basing it off of the times she and Monica hangs out together. You could at least picture the straight line her mouth forms when she finished her sentence, and you had to resist a laugh.

"Ice cream does sound really good." Your mind opened a little with the simple thought of ice cream. Even though the comfort of your bed and the couch seemed nicer, it's not a lot of times she ends up inviting you to hang out like this anyway.

"The mall it is." The blonde says, and you can hear some clatter over the phone. She had finished her pancakes, you supposed.

"Am I driving or...?" You trail off, fiddling around with your fingers and sliding them against the marble counter, the coldness a difference to the sunlight coming from the window.

"I'll pick you up." You then hear the sound of keys, and you couldn't back out anymore. She was driving to your house to grab you, and it'd be impolite to cancel.

"Okay." You say under a breath, feeling heavier with every second that goes by. The guilt and anxiety was eating you up, but the date on the calendar just next to the recipe book had your mind getting out of the thoughts.

"I'll be there in 10. Please don't be glued to your bed when I arrive," She said, to which you let out a quiet chuckle. You couldn't really tell if it was in a stern way or a soft way, but it definitely pushed you a little more to get up and change your clothes.

"I won't. See you here." You say gently and the end tone sounds out, making you pull your phone away from your ear.

With that decided, you push yourself off the counter, slowly going off to the bedroom. The closet opens easily, revealing the same clothes you see every day. You shuffle through some of the hanged shirts, looking at what to wear.

Soon enough, you pull one out. It easily slides off, brushing against the many other shirts within the closet. Your eyes don't linger on the other ones that weren't yours, and you close the door after grabbing everything else.

Later on, you get finished up with changing your clothes, and now you were only waiting for Carol to arrive. There was something that prickled within your heart, like a roses stem with thorns, a worry that maybe she changed her mind and she actually didn't want to hang out with you. Maybe she was only doing it out of sympathy? But that can't be true. What about all the times she's driven you back home when you got a little too many drinks?

...You take a deep breath and turn away from the wall you were staring off into like it was the abyss. Instead your hands checked that you had everything on you, like your phone, keys, and your watch.

Then, the sound of a car pulling up at the front of the house made you look up, your eyes carefully watching the windows. You see a Nissan outside, and it was obvious it was Carol arriving.

Quickly, you got off the couch while your phone made sound, definitely a text message from her that she's arrived. You open the front door, going outside. Her blonde hair could be seen clearly through the car windows, confirming the person in your head.

You make your way to the car, opening the front passenger door. "Hey," you say gently, going in and and closing the door along with you.

"Hey." your greetings were simple, a usual thing to happen. Carol glanced at you while you buckled in, giving you a small smile before starting to slowly position the car back to the roads.

The car had some old soft rock playing, filling up the quietness. It also had you already moving just a little to the beats, staring out the window as she drove you both to the mall. She's always had good playlists. Sometimes you'd even have an urge to ask her to give you some of her cds.

"So, what are you aiming to steal my money for today?" She jokes after a song, her eyes focused on the roads. You let out a small chuckle, looking over to her.

"I'm not letting you spend your money on me for something that isn't a drink." You shake your head, fiddling around with your fingers in your lap. The blonde notices it when her eyes flicker over to you for a second before returning to the roads.

"It's your birthday, Y/N. You have to have a little fun. Let loose," she says, and you raise an eyebrow, turning your head to her. The last two words were new, at least when it comes out of her mouth.

"Maria's words, not mine." she quickly stated, making a smile grow on your face. You stop fiddling with your fingers and instead intertwine them with each other, your gaze going back to the window.

"Come on, any ideas?" The car stops at a red light, and she looks over to you. You stayed quiet in thought, although nothing much came up. She sees only the side of your head until you made your decision.

"We'll do yours," you say, having unable to think of anything. Your mind was clouded over. Honestly, a part of your body just wanted to lie in bed hopelessly the whole day, but something else pulled you.

"Then it's settled," she nods, the steering wheel turning with her hand as she made a right. You think over her words on the phone call earlier, 'Ice cream, buy some things, arcade', and you start to get just a bit more excited.

"Ice cream first?" You ask, looking to her with hope. She furrows her eyebrows and makes a face to you, and your lip forms a tight line, like a child asking for something and getting scared of the answer.

"Of course ice cream goes first." The car goes forwards once more, the light having turned green. You cheer quietly, and she gently shakes her head at your antics. At least she got you to release the emotional tension you had in your body. Even if just a little.

The rest of the car ride consisted of singing and dancing, the conversations being light. The weight on your shoulders got lifted up just a little bit more. When you were about to arrive and she was going to park, 'Please Mr. Postman' started playing and your face brightened at the intro.

She raised her eyebrows at your quick happiness at the simple song, but smiled and laughed at how fast you got into singing it. Really, it's always been a main song for whenever you hanged out, but it's been so long since she saw you sing it, she got surprised. Soon enough though, she sang with you, the two of you moving in your seats to the words.

When the song ends, she turns off the engine and both of you get out the car. The parking lot wasn't all that filled up, so it was a chance there weren't many people in the mall.

She puts on her cap and walks to the entrance with you behind her, the noise of crows and other birds made sound, echoing from somewhere afar as you made your way to the sliding doors.

The cold air of the mall quickly greeted you like a slap of reality in the face, like waking yourself up with a cold shower after laying in bed for too, too long. A way to make you feel more alive.

The ice cream shop wasn't far, and with how little amount of people were here, the two of you got to go to the counter right when you arrive to order your preferred flavour.

Your eyes watch the ice cream get put on the cone, and you do a little dance when your hand got ahold of it, while Carol was giving her money to the cashier of the total cost.

The cashier smiles at the two of you and says their 'thank you', making you smile back before turning around, Carol easily catching up with you from your slow walking.

The two of you walk and enjoy your ice cream, the coldness definitely making you more free feeling. There were clothing stores, shoe stores, little snack shops, and every other thing you could ever imagine. You passed by each one though, but you did point out some cool looking things here and there to Carol.

Soon enough, you come upon a pet shop and your eyes widen, your lips matching with a smile. You walk towards it, wanting to look at all the animals. Carol had to walk faster so she didn't lose you.

There were parrots, cats, dogs, hamsters, fishes, bunnies, and even some lizards. Your mouth was agape as you stared at some of them, but you walk over to the cats.

"Aw, look!" You point at an orange cat, who's sitting patiently with it's tail smoothly flicking back and forth as it watched people pass by.

Carol was looking at the dogs until you called, making her go over to you to see what you were melted at. As if you hadn't already from the other little animals.

"This one is so cute." You lean forward and capture the attention of the cat, making it stand up and walk closer to you.

Carol's head tilted slightly and her eyes squinted as she inspected the info of the cat. The name, the breed, the date and place of birth... "...Goose. Huh."

"I want to take it home." You blurt out as you let the cat follow your hand around, and its head moves here and there instead of its body. It was a playful cat, a paw going up here and there to reach out to you.

"You should get it if you love it that much." Carol says, with her usual deadpan voice that you honestly find amusing. Although, for this, your face turns deadpanned instead and you stare at her, making her raise your eyebrows at you. It was nearly a staredown.

"Danvers, I cannot take care of a cat...let alone myself." You gesture to the cat, and it looked at you questionably. Your shoulders slump a little at the last words of your sentence, and Carol frowns a little.

"I'm sure it'll be able to help you cope or something." Really, she was thinking in her head of surprising it to you as a birthday present for later tonight when she sends you home.

"Why don't you get it? I think Monica would go crazy." You glance back at her, and she purses her lips, staring at the cat. It was the most vibrant color of all the other cats.

"And Maria would go crazier." She said, turning to you for a second but then going back to the entrance of the shop instead, perhaps making her escape from you flipping the table to her.

"You can convince her." You say, the volume of your voice going up a little considering she's farther away. You take a quick glance back at the cat, hesitating to leave, but going away to catch up to the blonde.

"No, now, we are going to the arcade." You laugh when you hear her stern voice, although something in you knew she had a thought about getting it.

You looked around as you walked, seeing the arcade not far away now, the place lit up by machines and screens. But something caught your eye and made you look twice.

Were you dreaming? Well...having a nightmare? You felt like so. Your body definitely didn't react in a good way. Honestly, your heart felt like you were about to have a heart attack with how fast it was beating.

Carol's hat made shade for her face from the sun coming through the mall's glass roof as she walked. She stops along with you when she noticed, confusion filling her face at the sudden stop.

When she follows your eyes to where you were looking though, immediately her eyes widen and her face was in complete shock just as yours were.

A brunette, green eyes...green jacket...

It couldn't have been.

You look closer on the face, and it was. And her hand was not swinging by itself as she walked.

It wasn't with your hand either, because you were plenty of feet away from her.

It was with someone else. Something in the back of your mind felt like they were familiar, although you couldn't even dare focus on that.

Your whole day-- well, your whole world fell apart right then and there. Just like that.

You can feel your heart beating up to your ears, and it felt like time stopped. And not in the good way. Oh, you wish. You wish it was the time you saw her green eyes staring back at you and the whole world only felt like it held the two of you. But not anymore.

Maybe it was the numbing adrenaline rush of the shock coming through, but you take in a deep breath, ripping your gaze away. You couldn't bare to look at the sight anymore.

You clench your jaw, your hand gripping itself in a fist. Your eyes pooled with tears and Carol looked at you, her own misery at finding out the truth obvious on her face, although she was mostly worried about you.

"You know what? Maybe we can...do this another day." You say, trying your best to not let your voice shake entirely, but it did falter.

"You don't wanna--" She was about to suggest trying to distract yourself with the arcade, but at the same time, nothing could make you feel better after seeing such a thing.

"Just take me home." Your mouth moved quickly and you spoke quietly, your eyes flicking back to the spot where she was walking, but she was out of sights already.

You turn around and walk fast, not wanting to linger anymore. Carol walks with you. There was nothing said as you made your way out and to the car. The lovely sounds of the birds chirping now fell on deaf ears as your legs kept you moving.

The car door opens easily with the pull of your hand, and you get in, but you were careful to not slam the door. Carol gets in after you, and turns on the engine.

Her eyes go over to you. You already had your seatbelt on and had settled in your seat, staring out the window. She was about to say something, but she held her tongue, not wanting to make matters worse.

And what would anyone have to say in this anyway? Your lover left you, replaced you with someone else, and broke your heart. 'It will get better'? The only path to take was to go through the pain and that was it. Until you somehow get back up again.

The music starts up once more, and it didn't make you happy as much anymore. You couldn't even focus on it if you tried. You were trying to blink away the tears and ignore the way your throat was swelling up on the inside.

Carol drives you back home safely, keeping her eyes on you here and there. The ride was quiet other than the music, but it was obvious the tension was high.

There were questions unsaid, many going around in your head, but you didn't wanna trouble her with all of them, and she probably wouldn't know what to answer them with anyway.

Soon enough, you arrive back to your house, and you gently unbuckle your seatbelt. At the corner of your eyes, your tears were starting to seep out, just a little.

Carol makes sure she says something before she regrets just being silent, "Hey," she said quietly, and you look at her, your eyes shining with unshed tears. It was the softest you've heard her voice yet.

"I'm always here, if you need me," she says. She knows it won't be much, but it needed to get out of her head. You nod, and sniffle, trying your best to not cry just yet.

You don't say anything back. If you did, you would've broken right there. Instead, you pull on the car handle and open the door, getting out.

Carol watches you as you leave, and she makes sure you get into your house safely before getting out the driveway.

You close the front door of the house, locking it, and freezing in your tracks, taking in a sharp breath before letting it out as a sigh. You nearly hoped it didn't happen, that you would only do that and just wake up from sleeping right now.

But then you let out a sob and lean back on the closed door. You hide your face in your hands, closing your eyes as you started crying, and your chest wracks with broken sobs.

How could she do such a thing? Did she not love you? Were you simply not enough? Too much? You couldn't stop yourself with the questions roaming your head, overthinking everything as you go. The kindest soul with the warmest heart, now broken into a tiny million pieces just because someone couldn't talk about their feelings. Yet you seem to always find a way to blame yourself for every situation.

Sure, maybe even if she did talk to you, your heart would still break, but would it have felt like this? Would it have felt like your lungs were going to collapse from your cries?

You sniffle, and try your best to steady your breathing, but you couldn't, so you just let it do whatever it wants. You wipe your eyes with your sleeve, but the tears keep flowing, so it barely did much.

Fatiguely, with a heavy body, you made your way to the kitchen. You wanted to go to the bedroom, but it was so far, and everything in there would only make your head spin even more. The couch was a choice, but your eyes linger on that recipe book you had looked through this morning.

Your hand twitches to grab it, but you bite your tongue and instead grip the counter, letting yourself slide down on the kitchen floor. You clutch your legs and curl up. The grip your hands held with the fabric of your jeans were enough to probably rip them.

You still had hiccups leaving your mouth, tears leaving your eyes, and you were definitely about to sob once more. The kitchen tiles blurred from your vision getting clouded with tears.

Your hands clumsily reaches in your pocket to grab your phone, and you somehow made it to your homescreen.

The phone was set down on the floor, your hands shaking as your tears rolled down to your chin and dropped down to stain your shirt.

You look up, trying to gather yourself up, but of course you couldn't. Your body needed to let the emotions out, especially after such a situation.

For a few more long minutes, you sat helplessly on the kitchen floor, your breaths going with their own minds instead of your own. You take a few deep breaths, your legs splayed out in front of you before you sniffle and take one last deep breath.

You sat up a little more properly with the little energy you have, and slide your phone just a bit closer to yourself, your fingers gliding across the screen as you opened your calls app, and hovered your finger over the contact name.

You tap on it, trying your best to recollect yourself before she picks up. Your teeth bites down on your bottom lip, every tone of the calling sound making your heart beat faster.

It ends, and her voice comes through.

"Hello?" There's the soft voice. The gentle, soothing voice that lured you into falling in love.

"Wanda." Your voice nearly faltered, but it kept a little of it's stern tone. Your hand slid down to the kitchen floor, the texture keeping your emotions steady, at least enough for a couple minutes.

"Hey, what's up? Did you see my note?" She asks. She's been lying to your face all this time and you didn't even know it. How blind were you?

"Do you know what day it is today?" You ask, ignoring her own question. You sounded so calm in your own anger you honestly nearly even scared yourself.

"No...what?" She was confused, and you could imagine the innocent act of a face she made.

"It's my birthday." You put simply.

"Oh..." that was all that sounded on the phone, and you knew the call didn't get cut off. She just didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry I didn't stay Y/N, I...forgot." She says slowly, and it was obvious she was trying to tread her tracks carefully.

"I can come back tonight, I promise." You almost didn't want her to, but you needed to talk it out. You didn't say anything else, not wanting to talk about everything else over the phone.

"Goodbye, Wanda." You whisper, your voice breaking at the end. You were sure she noticed it, but you'd want her to anyway.

You ended the call, tapping on the red button. That wasn't the end of it yet, of course, but for now, your hand only rests on the floor, your body falling limp against the cabinet.

She calls, but you don't hear it. The phone rings, on, and on.

You clench your jaw, tears filling up in your eyes once more. Your hand weakly silences your phone, and for the next couple more minutes, you lay crying, until your throat was dry and your muscles ached from sitting on the floor.

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The sun had gone down by now, and the moon came out of hiding.

You were no longer on the kitchen floor, but you were on the couch, curled up like a cat. You haven't done anything but cry ever since you got home. Only right now, your tears had dried, staining your cheeks

You hear the front door unlock, and you feel it coming, the moment you've been dreading.

The brunette appears from behind the door, closing it as she went in the house. Her eyes roamed the place, and eventually, it lands on you.

She lets out a sigh of relief when she realized you were still here. You let out a heavy sigh as you sat up properly.

She heard it. Even with the distance, the quietness of the room captured it. Her heart beated harder in her chest.

"Y/N, please, I'm sorry." She pleads as she makes her way to the couch, having carelessly kicked her shoes off, leaving one tilted on its side. You haven't even said anything yet, and you almost feel sorry yourself.

"Hey,"-- You were sitting right beside the armrest, so, she leans over and gently puts her hand on your cheek. --"I love you. I'm sorry."

You gently push away her hand, turning to look at her with your jaw clenching. She can see the anger in your eyes and it had her giving you a little space.

"Do you?" You say, your head moving slightly, and she notices the way the corner of your eyes seemed a little red. You weren't even looking at her. That was only the second part of the situation.

"Yes!" She says her eyebrows furrowed. She raises her hands in exaggeration before moving one up to her hair, sliding it back as she let out a breath. "...Why is that difficult to understand?"

"Well, maybe because you didn't even say anything when I said it to you just a few days ago!" Her mouth opens, and you assumed she was about to argue that she was drunk during that time, but she lets out a scoff, and that's even worse.

"You're pissed off about that too?" She seemed mad, and you nearly regret even blurting out the sentence.

You close your eyes with your hands, just wanting this to end even though it's just started and just barely scratched surface of what you need to talk about...or argue. You hoped it was the first one.

"Of course I am, Wanda! Where have you been?" You try your best to keep calm, but your voice was laced with anger. Hers though, was higher volume than yours.

"At work!" She walks around to the front of the couch, and you slide your hand down your face. Her face looked so believable, but you knew it wasn't the truth. You saw it with your own eyes.

"Bullshit." You whispered, looking at her with tired eyes. She gets confused and sits down on the couch, her eyes focused on you. You shift your position.

"What? I'm not ly--..." Her voice was a little high of a volume, and she doesn't finish her sentence when she hears you take in a shaky breath.

"...I...saw you." You said quietly, and Wanda, having been caught up in trying to make you believe her had to go quiet in thought of what exactly you mean.

She swallows down a lump in her throat, her eyes catching yours.

"Saw me?" She asked, her voice reducing down to almost the same volume as yours.

"You...were with someone else." You were shaking and your breath was trembling. You willed everything in your body not to sob while trying to get the rest of the sentences out. Her eyes widened at your words, and that was it.

"And I know it's not another person, because I saw your face." You point your finger to her, gently pushing on her chest with it to enunciate your words. Gently. You were never the type to lash out or be rough even when you were angry.

She goes quiet. Both pairs of your eyes were welling up with tears, that much was obvious. Any other words she's had before had died in her throat.

You see a tear rolling down her cheek from the side, and you held your hands back from wiping it off.

She looks at you, guilt swimming in her eyes, and she takes a shaky breath in before letting it go.

"...There's really..." She looks away from you, unable to even stare back at you. Your heart felt heavier than you knew it could.

"...nothing I could say or do to make you feel better." She said tearfully, her lips going down as she thought of her next words. She swallows her collected saliva again. That hit you like a million little glass pieces piercing through every part of your living, loving soul.

There really was not much she could reason with other than the fact that it had been true. She's fallen out of love with you, but even she didn't want to admit it.

"I've been with someone else. I...wanted to tell you. I just didn't know how." She admitted with her shoulders going up at her last words. There it was. The truth coming straight out of her mouth. Your lips nearly trembled, but your teeth sank down on it.

"How...long?" You ask, and you almost didn't want to know, but for the sake of closure, you urged on. She stays quiet, her own hands gripping the couch.

"How long, Wanda?" You pressed. Was it a month ago? It couldn't have been longer than that.

"Only after eight months of us moving here." It was before you even had your break. You made the math quickly in your head. You moved in a little more than a year ago, so it's been...six months?

You had been in this devouring hole for six months, and you hadn't even realized it. And she didn't tell you or break up with you. Instead she requested a break. No wonder your hope had died to sparks and to nothingness.

"What?" You whispered under your quivering breath, your head tilting in disbelief as your eyes spilled out in silent tears.

"Wanda." You say her name softly. She looked down in her lap as you let out another breath that nearly sounded like a sob. She sniffles, and you know the both of your hearts are breaking.

"Why?" You ask, although it was more of a thought from your head that spewed out unintentionally rather than a logical question. She couldn't answer. She didn't have an answer herself. It just happened. That's how it always is.

"...I thought you loved me." Your voice was small, as if speaking any louder would make the entire universe disappear in fear, just like your love had.

"I did! Or, I do!! I don't know!!!" She blurts out, not being able to decide which one. Her body had deflated at the high chance of losing you tonight.

"So you fell out of love with me completely?" Your eyes watch her carefully, and just for a vivid moment, she hesitantly, just barely nods.

"And you didn't think to just...break it off." You whisper, although it was more of a sentence to yourself. But she heard it anyway. It was obvious what you were pointing towards in your sentence. She sighs. She knows she's taken a step she couldn't take back.

Really, how can someone bring theirselves to having a full conversation about falling out of love? It's a difficult thing to do. Sure, you'd be heartbroken either way, or somehow you would have been able to work it out, but you supposed something else in you just wished you hadn't suffered all those months hoping for absolutely...nothing.

The two of you sit in the silence of what you'd think is death, not knowing what exactly to do with it all. The love you once had was gone. Or at least...hers.

Something spins around in your head. It's been spinning for ages since she had called to take a break, and you had hoped you never had to say it, but what else was there? You could start over, but this love had already started over before. Or had tried to. Technically it was both. This was the end of the road.

"...It's over." You whisper out into the room, and Wanda finally glanced up at you, her face full of heartbreak. Even though she probably saw it coming. You've seen that look before, and your stomach was about to collapse at even a second of it. You kept the eye contact though, needing to fully close this.

In a way, you searched her eyes, for some reason, still searching for anything that once was. But there wasn't anything but hopeless desperation.

"No...no please, I need you." She says, taking breaths in between as she cried. You hated seeing her like this. But you hated going in circles just as much.

"If you really did, then you wouldn't have done such a thing." She had nothing else to say to that. It had been your breaking point. You averted your gaze and stood up, hesitating for a moment, but eventually going off to the bedroom as she sat there in the consequences of her actions.

You walk into the room and close the door, locking it right after. You gently lean your head against the door, while silent tears freely move down your skin. The supply of water in your body was definitely infinite for today. A part of you wanted to laugh at the mere thought, and just to cope, but you were too tired to even do so.

You take in a breath, looking up to the ceiling as you felt your throat swell up, but you try your best to be quiet. You'd hate for her to hear you sob in the other room. She might be doing the same thing herself. You squeeze your eyes shut for a short time, wishing for it all to just stop.

And technically it's about to.

Gently, you push off the bedroom door and your legs take you to the front of your closet. The next move was obvious.

Your hands clenched theirselves as your eyes stare at the closet doors. You take a look around the room, taking in the space with your eyes lingering on some parts. The book Wanda hasn't finished reading. She stopped reading it ever since she started to disappear. You should have seen the signs.

The little teddy bear she got, the daisies you got her in the corner of the room, the DVDs she has in the TV stand, the music collection you have next to it.

You rip your gaze away and let your hands open the closet doors. A travel bag and a luggage bag was just under the hanged clothes, sitting within a compartment.

With trembling hands, you slide both out, putting them on the bed and unzipping them. It was the same bags you used to move into the house.

You grab some of the clothes you once shuffled through just earlier this morning, making sure to remember which ones are Wanda's, and not yours.

They were placed into the bags, and you stared at the folded shirts. They looked wrong. You throw your head back with a sigh, frustrated. The bed dips when you sat on it, the bags moving along just a little with it.

What are you thinking? The promise to stay, to fight through it all, it had all fallen apart. The one person you didn't leave after just a few months, and yet here you are. Packing. You let your body fall down completely on the mattress, legs dangling while you stared at the ceiling.

How many times have you stared up there? You don't even want to know. Before you lost all motivation and your emotions ran slow, you slowly prop yourself up to your arms and got back up. If you stopped now, you won't be gone in the morning.

Toothbrush, toothpaste, everything else you need and all the essentials. The last of it gets stored in the empty parts, and with the quiet sound of the zipper zipping, it was done.

With a relieved sigh that you could now simply lay on the pillows, your arms splayed out, your body giving up the last of its energy. You definitely couldn't get up anymore to do anything else.

This was the last night you were sleeping in this bed.

The crickets couldn't be any more louder with filling up the silence. You hated it. It felt too short, but all at the same time, it feels like it's gone on for too long.

Your vision faded into black as your mind stayed loud, up until it crept into your dreams. She slept on the couch that night.

In the morning, you woke up heavy and go through everything as if you didn't even sleep. Not even a cold shower helped you. Honestly, it might have just helped numbing the pain in your chest instead. You gather your items, gripping your bags tightly.

What if you just drop them and simply isolate yourself in the room? No. You shook your head, walking over to the door.

Your hand remains on the cold door knob for a short while, and you almost stay long enough to have it warmed up from your skin. It gets twisted though, and you open it.

If not for the sleeping figure on the couch, it would have been an empty room. You walk out to the front door with your eyes lingering on her.

Maybe her love was too good for you anyway. You just couldn't give her enough. Or too much. It didn't even make sense anymore. There was no in between your heart and mind could agree on. Even you didn't know what you were thinking.

Just as you click open the lock and went to open the front door, she slowly awakes. The shuffling makes you turn to look at her. You catch the realization and sadness in her eyes when you locked sights. Damn the loud clicks and creaking sounds of the doors.

"Where are you going?" She asks, but it was more of a question, than her wanting to stop you.

"Somewhere that isn't here." You say quietly, like a secret thats not meant to be said. She stares off into a space in the room, lost in thought.

"I really am sorry." You hold your breath a little longer, waiting for her to say something else. But she didn't.

There wasn't anything possible to heal the broken love you held. Maybe if she gave in, but her hands had been touched by someone else and her lips...perhaps had met another's.

"I love you." You whispered impulsively, although quiet and quick, it made sound to reach her ears nonetheless.

But yet, she was silent.

You stare at her for a second more, and few seconds too long to say you're determined in leaving. She wasn't looking at you.

You take a step to turn, and the door slides open with the pull of your hand.

You take another, then when you're outside and the door closes gently, the quietness of it all consumed you.

You check your belongings, you had your bags, your watch, your phone. You have everything except for her.

You check your last pocket, and in it were the keys to the house. You slide it off and it clinks, a familiar sound that you hated made your heart skip a beat every time you heard it.

You leave it off somewhere at the front of the house, and you hope you don't remember where you put it.

It all blurred together as you went to your car, turned on the engine and drove off. Of course you had a plan in mind. You've thought about it a hundred times, but you never thought you'd go with it.

The car arrives to a stop, near the place of your favorite cafe. But you aren't going out. You just needed to drive away from the house.

"Fuck." You cursed under your breath and slammed your fist on the steering wheel, and somehow your hand had slid down to the horn, making you bump into it and the car beeped loudly. You jumped, and looked around alertedly, but no one was there. The sidewalks were empty.

You relievedly let out the breath you were holding once you made sure you were in the clear. Thankfully, it wasn't lunchtime or the weekend.

"God," the word comes out under your breath as you shook your head. The thoughts in your head were harsh, and your shoulders slumped at it.

"How could I have ever possibly thought I was actually the one?" You whisper to yourself, staring at the logo of the car, still somehow shiny, just sitting there in between the controls even from how much you've driven the car.

You grip the steering wheel, but then you notice your arms being covered in a certain cloth. One all too familiar, one you chose in instinct in the morning. You look down on the sweatshirt you're wearing, and it was obvious. It was Wanda's.

You clench your jaw and your hands move to peel it off yourself, the sweatshirt turning into a jumbled up piece of clothing that was inside-out. You didn't even want to look at it, so you threw it to the backseats. You'll deal with it later.

Soon, you went to grab your phone, your hand shaking as you turned on your phone, trying your best to find a certain contact. You hold the device tighter, trying to stop the shaking. But you couldn't.

When you found it, you were hesitant to tap on it, your mind loud of everything bad that could happen. But it was Kate. You take in a shaky breath and tapped on the call button, exhaling your breath as you put your phone to your ear.

"Hello?" Her voice comes out gently. The kinder tone almost makes you let out a breath of relief. Your shoulders relax only a little though.

"Kate?" You ask in a whisper, fiddling a little with your steering wheel and tracing the round shape, the texture brushing the skin of your fingers.

"Hey, what's up?" It was still gentle, but there was a hint of concern in it. She can already tell something was wrong even though you barely said anything.

"Um...I..." Your breath was shaky, and she could hear it. On the other side of the phone, Kate was frowning, but she stayed quiet as she gave you time to get your words out.

You were nibbling your bottom lip as you thought about how to talk about your situation, and in the midst of the moment-- "...Wanda and I broke up," you spew out the words, your mouth not even caring to follow your mind anymore.

"What? What happened?" She was certainly shocked, and you look out the window, trying to distract yourself while at the same time speaking to Kate.

"She was with someone else," you say. The florist you once saw a few months ago came out of his store, greeting a customer outside. It was like you were watching a scene you were once in, in another person's view.

"Oh, shit." She swore out unintentionally, the surprise taking over her mouth. "Sorry," she apologized quickly, and you can imagine her blinking to get ahold of herself. It almost made you let out a soft chuckle.

"...I'm sorry, Y/N. God, I could never imagine Wanda would have done that." Kate said quietly. She adored your relationship together, that much was true, but she also saw the parts of Wanda that you wish weren't true. Yet this, this was an unexpected turn.

"...And since I left the house, I can't even sulk in bed or anything." You let out a gentle breath of a laugh, but it was more of a nervous one.

"I mean, I should've had a plan but-- we'd just keep seeing each other and it just...hurts." The florist had said goodbye to the customer who bought the flowers. He seemed happy as he rewrote some things on his little chalkboard. That man was definitely living his best life.

"Where are you gonna go?" She asks, and you go silent. You couldn't go to Carol's. You wouldn't. She's living with Maria and Monica and you probably wouldn't have a room to sleep other than in the living room on the couch. You wouldn't want to intrude on her living conditions anyway.

"I don't...really have anywhere to go to, so anywhere, I guess." You sink into your seat, looking down in your lap to stop staring at people. Kate was silent for a moment, and you're guessing she either didn't know what to say, or is thinking about something.

"My place is available to you if you want to come. You're always welcome here," she offers, and your eyes relax while your fingers fiddle with theirselves, thinking it over.

"...If that's okay with you. I mean, I don't want to intrude on anything--" You add on after quickly, but you get cut off by Kate.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it, I've missed having you hanging around. And I promise you, I have two forks and spoons now so we don't have to share one or get a plastic one from Mcdonald's that'll break after a few minutes." She jokes, and that actually made you laugh.

"Okay. Okay, thank you, Kate. I'll be there tomorrow." You sit up more properly, getting ready to drive to the airport. You hadn't visited her in a while, so you already had money ready.

"I will be there to pick you up. Okay? Do not get a cab," she says sternly, and you take in a big breath only to let it out as a small sigh.

"Kate," You say sternly back, wanting to protest and not burden her more. But she hums in disagreement. You know she cared about getting you safe and being the best friend she is, but your head was killing you.

"No. No, Y/N. I am not letting you cry in a cab awkwardly first thing you get out the airport." She argues softly, and you let your shoulders down in defeat. At your silence, she waits.

"I'll let you know when I land." You give in, your voice small.

"Okay, good." You can hear the relief in her voice, and your lip tugs up into the smallest smile

"See you, Kate." You were about to end the call, but she speaks up again.

"Hey."

"Take care of yourself."

"I'll try."

"See you."

The call ends, and you start driving.

end of chapter 5.

Series Masterlist <- Chapter 4 Chapter 6 ->

---------------

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[freckledjoes]

hi! i love your blog! i’d love to request a drabble, maybe steve and reader’s first christmas as mom and dad :)

Hi love! Thank you for enjoying my blog and sending in the request, that means a lot <3 I hope you will enjoy the drabble too! :)

Sophia's first Christmas

It was already Christmas Eve when Steve finally finished decorating the house with some finishing touches. To be fair, the house had been decorated enough days prior, but he wanted to go all out this year. Especially this year. But work had been crazy busy, with all the preparations for the winter dance, the Christmas market and the charity basketball game he participated in himself at school. In the meantime, you had been taking care of your little one while also simultaneously working at the bookstore. It was a busy time as people always loved to ask for books for Christmas, either because they loved reading, or they had planned some New Year’s resolution to read more next year. Thankfully the owner of the bookstore, aka your boss, didn’t mind it when you brought Sophia along. In fact, Nigel loved to keep an eye on her while you busied yourself with the customers. Nigel could have retired years ago if he had wanted to, but he loved the bookstore too much to do so. However, these busy days did take a toll on him so he favored you at the front of the shop during the rush hours. Safe to say, both you and Steve were pretty knackered when you went home that evening.

Steve stood on his tiptoes to attach the mistletoe above the archway as he had done every year prior. It was in fact how he had managed your first kiss. A true romantic at heart, that one. You both had been alone for Christmas and decided to spend it together, but at the time you had just been friends. Steve hadn’t really dated a girl in years and had been much more careful this time around, but the mistletoe had done the trick to give him just that extra ounce of courage. You had been together ever since. Meaning that Christmas also kind of had become your anniversary, be it the ‘unofficial’ one, because he did go out of his way to ask you to be his girlfriend officially about a month later during a very romantic date.

“Perfect,” he mumbled to himself before he turned around to flash you a grin. “I will require a smooch here later, it’s tradition,” he said, as he did every year. You gave him a smile as you finished giving Sophia a clean diaper and lifted her up against your chest.

“When she’s asleep, we’ll have plenty of time for that,” you told him.

“Until the next bottle at least,” Steve joked.

It was true, you hadn’t had much sleep since Sophia had been born. She would turn one in February and waking up to crying every night, multiple times a night, hadn’t been too fun. But you two made it work, took turns as one would like to expect, and you made sure to look out for each other as well.

Steve walked up to the both of you and gave Sophia a soft kiss on the top of her head before his lips met yours in a sweet kiss, his hand planted on your waist.

“I love you,” he whispered against your lips as he pulled away. Then, with his eyes on Sophia: “and you, my sweet little girl.” He glanced up at the clock and hummed to himself, still caressing your waist and gently digging his fingers in.

“Dinner?” he opted.

“Sounds good.”

And that’s where the fuss began. Sophia became a crying mess as soon as you started on your dinner, refused to be put down but also didn’t want to drink from her bottle. What was supposed to be a romantic evening (as far as that went with a newborn), became a hurried dinner and a lot of failed attempts at trying to calm Sophia down.

Steve tried everything. Usually, he wasn’t too bad at calming her down, but tonight was different. You cleaned up the table while he tried to distract her with toys, stories, even some singing. When Steve tried to give her the bottle again she went on a rampage, scrunching her little face together in protest as she became redder and redder from crying. Steve looked at you helplessly, suddenly getting up in his head about it all. You see, Steve wanted tonight to be perfect. Not just for the two of you, but he wanted Sophia’s first Christmas (and all the ones to come) to be perfect. He never had any of that, never even had one fun Christmas until he met you (mostly because he never admitted that he was home by himself to Robin and the others - he didn’t want to impose on their families), so it was all the more important to him that Sophia did.

“I don’t know what to do,” Steve said softly. “Maybe you should take her, I guess I’m just not—”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” you warned, “it’s got nothing to do with you, Steve. She’s just not having it today, we all have bad days, right?” You sat down next to him and planted a kiss on his shoulder on top of his Christmas sweater. Both of you enjoyed a good, classic Christmas sweater and Steve often insisted on the matter.

“Yeah… I guess you’re right,” Steve said reluctantly. “I just don’t want her to feel sad,” he mumbled, looking down at Sophia, his precious little girl. He wanted to protect her from all the harm in the world, at all cost. When he ran a hand through his hair to move it out of his face, he realized his forehead was a little damp.

“I’m actually sweating,” Steve mumbled with a dry chuckle, “can you-? I wanna take it off for a bit,” he said, pointing at his sweater. You nodded and held Sophia as Steve revealed a simple white T-shirt underneath. After giving Sophia back to him you brushed the hairs that stuck to the back of his neck away with your fingers and he sighed. Both of you watched as the only sound that filled the room were the soft crackles of the fireplace. The only sound?

Steve watched in awe as Sophia looked up at him with big eyes, soft and relaxed into his arms. Confusion furrowed his brows and he cautiously held the bottle in front of her, which she happily started drinking from.

“What even…” Steve mumbled. You shrugged, relieved that Sophia was finally content with the situation and rested your head on his shoulder, making you remember the itch of fabric you felt earlier when you kissed it.

“Huh.”

“Hm? What is it?” Steve asked, tilting his head to meet your eyes.

“Maybe she doesn’t like the itch of wool, from your sweater.”

“Oh… you think so?” He momentarily glanced at your sweater but decided he didn’t want to find out right now if she’d throw another tantrum if you held her. That felt a little too mean.

“That, or she has already developed a strong opinion about fashion, just like her dad,” you joked affectionately and Steve gave you a gentle nudge with his shoulder.

“Then she should learn that Christmas sweaters are super nice.”

“Not sure she’ll take that from a man who wears those loafers.” He followed your gaze towards the loafers near the fireplace (an early Christmas present to himself) and scoffed.

“You said you liked them,” Steve mumbled.

“I said I’m happy you like them,” you corrected him innocently. “Nothing like a good, manly ankle on display though.”

Steve barked out a laugh and shook his head.

“Actually… was planning to wear them with white socks.”

“You’d be dead before that ever happened.”

Steve had to admit that was true.

Sophia had finished her bottle and burped politely when Steve gently rubbed her back. He took her to bed upstairs while you grabbed two glasses of wine for the two of you. As Steve came down, he halted at the archway with the mistletoe and leaned against it. When you didn’t react right away, he cleared his throat.

“Yes?” you feigned being oblivious.

“I’m waiting for my kiss.”

“Oh, why didn’t you just say so,” you said as you got up and walked right into his waiting arms. Steve smiled down at you as he held your waist tightly, his bangs tickling your forehead a little bit. His gaze could still fluster you even after all these years. His hazel eyes reflected the decoration lights from somewhere in your home, though you couldn’t decipher which ones exactly. It didn’t matter anyway. Who would be able to focus on that when his twinkling gaze only had eyes for you? His nose nuzzled your cheek while his lips trail a path down to your lips before meeting them in a loving kiss. Steve liked to kiss slowly. Took his time to explore your mouth every single time, as if it was his first and last time doing so. He’d leave sweet little noises from pure enjoyment of kissing you while his hands wandered over your body in a caring manner.

“Merry Christmas, baby,” he whispered close to your ear as he allowed his lips to explore your neck, finding your sweet spot.

“Merry Christmas, my love.”

-

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[bomberqueen17]

ow

lol so. i'm at home after the farm season right. i have so much writing i have been wanting to do, and i have succeeded at doing some of it! i had a brief "ah chicken season is over" hiatus before The Dread Deturkening, and spent that whole thing writing frantically, hence the solarpunk tall ships idea which is still in progress btw-- I did finally start a for real draft version to solicit feedback and now I realize a bunch of people's tumblr handles is not a great way to actually connect so i need to figure out how to do that-- which is beside the point of this post--

anyway. now that it's For Real Hiatus From Farm Season I'm trying to actually get my life in order and not succeeding very well.

Dude's company laid off a bunch of his team and therefore shut down the local office, so he, being the last man standing, had to go in and clear the space out. As part of that, his former desk is sitting in our garage, and I'm trying to clear out space for it in the basement. The basement is a black hole of fuckery because one year ago, some of you may remember, we had our kitchen remodeled, and we had contracted to do it in February but they called us the last week of November and said can we do it now instead, which sure but it meant I had to haul seventeen years' worth of stuff out of the kitchen into Literally Anywhere Else and then they needed me to clear out part of the basement erroneously believing they were putting in a new support pillar, which they weren't, but then they needed me to clear out a path to the back wall of the basement because the electricians needed to install a whole new panel there, so like, ok cool but it just meant a lot of things got haphazardly hauled from one corner of the basement to another in tremendous hurry with no time for keeping track of what's what. So that's a disaster and now's the time to fix it.

I have also been hauling some of it to the attic. I had been using the desk in the spare room for sewing on the days when Dude was working from his office. Since those days no longer happen, I have no access to those machines now, which are stacked in a corner. The basement is now too crowded for me to resume using the little space I'd carved out down there, so I have put some sewing stuff into the attic, which isn't insulated and is rather drafty now. But anyway. I'm rearranging a lot of things and can't make progress on any projects while that's happening.

I got a ton of reorganizing done on Monday evening in the basement (having spent the whole morning hauling shit out of dude's former office, which is now surrendered and locked and all set), and yet more Tuesday, and was hoping to finish it yesterday but Tuesday evening I fucked up my back, it felt all crunchy, and I was really worried until I woke up Wednesday in just torrents of gore, which I realized is my new perimenopausal normal-- I've started to realize that menstruation does fucky shit to all my connective tissues, so I shouldn't actually worry about my lower back destroying itself if it's also Cramp Time. So I spent yesterday absolutely immobile, dosed up on ibuprofen and just like that scene out of the Shining except wrapped in blankets and drinking herbal tea.

I also spent much of yesterday just. Unconscious? Which was weird. I don't know why I'm so fatigued but at least I'm sleeping.

(I also cleaned the oven. Do not recommend, especially not when one's lower back is doing mysterious rice krispie impressions.)

So today I was hoping to get back to work but I do feel like I've been beaten with sticks. Maybe instead I will finish working out how to get people who've expressed interest in beta-reading into a google doc.

A not so hilarious side note is that if I do not have a desk to sit at I have trouble organizing my thoughts?? IDK it's very weird but there are several tasks I need to do where I'll need to have my laptop and a sheet of paper in front of me I think, and my brain is like "illegal unless At Desk" and that's tough shit since I don't have a desk. I had started noticing it over the summer in the cabin where I also don't have a desk. How do I organize my thoughts if I can't Sit At A Desk to do it????? One would think I'd figure it out since i've spent most of my life without a desk of my very own, but. Not so far!!! Not currently.

Also a major thing my brain is Not Allowing me to do is finish preparing for Christmas. I'm not seeing family for Christmas, for the like tenth year in a row because every year we arrange to do it together my older sister fucking flakes out, and this year it was the off year but she flaked out of thanksgiving instead-- i'm not saying she doesn't flake out for good reasons, one of her kids was real sick and i'm not mad, but the fact remains, we're not seeing that bit of the family and she's not letting us make any contingency plans, so my brain is like Fine No Christmas Then and won't let me figure out what to get people for gifts and it is actually a problem because some of those people are kids and are expecting me to figure it out anyway.

argh.

my beloved godfather, my Type A mom's little underachieving alcoholic gay probably ADHD depressed college dropout brother, never was good at christmas presents for us kids either, and still managed to hold it together better than I am despite being in a relationship with a man who wouldn't allow him to tell us nieces about him and so he just showed up to all our family events and was my uncle's "friend" and we all figured it out anyway so there was no point hiding it from us but ugh they still did and i remember us at some point in the 90s, all us sisters sitting together ranging in age from high school down to elementary school and my older sister being like "we all know they're gay right" and us all being like "yeah why can't we just say it" and the oldest sister looking at me, who even then everybody knew was the gay one, and i was like "man i don't know" and we all just solemnly agreed to not mention it...

anyway

he did better than this but he died of lung cancer in '08 so I can't ask him how he managed it. (what i have in my favor is that my dad's side of the family gave me asthma so i never could have taken up smoking, so at least that won't kill me.)

He never got an ADHD diagnosis tho so I can't find out what meds he took. Well, he took whiskey, we know that. It didn't work though. and he wasn't really a loser, i've met so many people who knew and loved him now that i'm an adult and sometimes go around in the city where he lived. even now so many people remember him so fondly. and he bragged about us, his nieces, all the time, all these people know who i am as soon as i mention him. boy i miss him!!!

this is the miracle of the ADHD brain I was fretting about house cleaning and now i'm grieving my long-dead uncle, who of course I knew mostly through the lens of my mother who literally never understood him in the slightest.

[from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras]

I’m (maybe?) almost done with a Théodred story I’ve been working on for a long time and, in looking back over some of my notes about his canon life, I couldn’t help clocking the many similarities between his experiences and those of LOTR’s other first son of a kingdom of men, Boromir. It’s not super relevant to my story, but I ended up with this running list and I’m just sticking it here because why not. None of this is groundbreaking stuff (and there are probably more) but so far I have that Théodred and Boromir both:

1. Were heirs to the leadership of their respective realms and held their land’s senior military positions (Second Marshal for Théodred—there being no First Marshal at the time—and Captain of the White Tower for Boromir).

2. Lost their mothers early (Théodred at birth and Boromir at age 10) and grew up in households run entirely by powerful fathers who never remarried.

3. Ended up taking on dangerous challenges at least in part because those fathers were both having their reason and good judgment manipulated by opponents (Théoden through the treachery of Gríma/Saruman and Denethor by the selective truths shown to him by Sauron in the palantír).

4. Got killed in a battle where their opponents were targeting them to the exclusion of others around them (Saruman’s forces at the Isen were told to kill Théodred at all costs even while “disregarding” others, and the orcs at Parth Galen fire their arrows “always at Boromir” while leaving Merry and Pip untouched).

5. Were trying to summon aid at the time they were struck down (Théodred is shouting “To me, Eorlingas!” to summon reinforcements when he’s fatally wounded. Boromir blows his great horn to alert the rest of the fellowship before he’s brought down).

6. Took massive injuries but lived long enough afterward to pass on last words in which they invoke the names of the men who will come to replace them as leaders and express the hope that those next leaders will achieve victory (Elfhelm and Grimbold believe Théodred is dead before they discover he’s still breathing just enough to say, “Let me lie here to keep the fords til Éomer comes.” Boromir, as we all know, lays there with those arrows in his chest long enough to be found by Aragorn, at which point he says, “Farewell, Aragorn. Go to Minas Tirith and save my people.”).

7. Died within hours of each other (Théodred on the night on February 25 and Boromir around midday on the 26) at the same age of 41 because, oh yeah, they were also born within months of each other.

8. Didn’t get a burial/funeral in keeping with their status and the traditions of their people because they died in awful circumstances far from home (Théodred dies and is buried by Elfhelm and Grimbold’s companies at the fords rather than in the barrows outside of Edoras with his ancestors. Boromir is sent over the falls by the three hunters instead of laying in Rath Dínen with the other kings and stewards of Gondor).

9. Mentored and protected little brother-type figures (Faramir as Boromir’s actual little brother and Éomer as Théodred’s cousin/adopted little bro) who would go on to achieve what they were unable to do themselves while alive.

10. Died unmarried and childless despite being extremely marriageable, in the primes of their lives and presumably expected to produce another heir. (There’s an explanation given for Boromir—he’s not into women and prefers fighting and arms—though there is none for Théodred.) (Like many other people, I have my own personal HC for Théodred’s romantic life, but that’s for another day.)

I’m not sure what to make of all that, but I find it interesting. We hear so often about contrasts between Gondor and Rohan—the different histories and heritages, the personality of cold, hard Denethor against kindly, grandfatherly Théoden, the magisterial stone and marble of Minas Tirith versus the rustic wood and thatch of Edoras, Gondor’s vast libraries and the Rohirrim’s oral traditions—but they’re so deeply linked as kingdoms and as individuals. By fate and by choice, they’re inextricably tied together, and I love the amount of detail that went into creating and including the subtle parallels between the first sons of each land as just one more way to see those ties play out.

[justmochi]

deranged

series :: eunmin in busan 2023 💌

pairing :: eden x seokmin

word count :: 5.3k

synopsis :: is there a limit to how many times two can have sex on three day trip?

time :: february 17, 2023

warnings :: 🔞 SMUT! 🔞 MINORS DNI

a/n :: the epic conclusion to the 2023 busan trip </3 until 2024 c; also this is the filthiest eunmin piece to date can i get a hello

taglist :: @cafemilk-tea @cixrosie @moonlight-additions @cosmicwintr @astraw-astro @ateezjuliet @fromfreesia @succulentmom @kimhyejin3108 @enhacolor @multiplums @kang-ulzzang @hybesunstone @allthings-fandoms @itzy-eve @strmiu @angie-x3 @Kaitieskidmore1 @evaalopezzzz

Her body had woken itself up all on its own, eyes opening and squinting while looking around the room. It was still dark from what she could see outside the windows. She rolled over, reaching for her phone on the nightstand and seeing it was almost 3 a.m. She set it back down, lying flat on her back as she rubbed her eyes with her fingers. When she stretched her arm over to feel his side of the bed, it was empty. She sat up to see the bathroom door closed with the light emitting from under the frame.

As if on cue, Seokmin opened the door before shutting the light off. He didn’t look as tired as she expected him to be. He must have been awake for a while. He jumped a bit when he noticed her staring back at him. She smirked at the contrast between his mannerisms and the way he was dressed. No shirt and The Shorts. She was a goner.

Her hair was disheveled, making him laugh softly. He launched himself onto the bed, scooting closer to her as he leaned on his arm. “What are you doing awake?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” She laid back down, pulling the blankets back up and folding her hands over her stomach. “I guess my body has its own alarm clock.”

“I couldn’t sleep so I cleaned up a bit and packed.” He rested his hand on her wrist, snuggling in closer to her warmth. He sighed, brushing his fingers against her skin in smooth circles. “I don’t wanna go home.”

She frowned, sighing because she felt the exact same way he did. This is the longest they’ve spent with each other in a while thanks to their busy schedules. “I want to stay here for at least another week.”

His smile had a sort of sadness to it. His head dipped between her neck, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. They lay in their comfortable silence for a few more minutes. Eden raked her fingers through his hair, shaping it to her liking and then smoothing it down to do it all over again.

After a few, she leaned in closer to him, whispering in his ear. “Would it be completely deranged of me to say that I want you again?”

He lifts his head from her neck, looking up at her to see the lust on her face. She can’t tell whether his expression is what it is because he’s flustered or that he’s thinking the same thing. He looked excited and hopeful.

“Why?” He brings his hand to her cheek, his thumb running over her bottom lip. “Were you having naughty dreams about me?”

“Maybe.” She leans in closer, eyes drifting down to his lips but not going for the kill. “Please, I wasn’t asleep long enough to dream. If I was dreaming, it’s been too long to recall any of it.”

“Then should we try to refresh your memory?” He kisses her softly. She breathes quietly against his lips, his teeth grazing her tongue as his hand takes hers out of his hair and intertwines their fingers together.

He let go while his kisses remained, using his hands to push himself up to hover over her. She reaches up to hold his face in her hands as their lips move against one another. Both of their need grows with every stroke of their mouths.

He kisses her one more time before breaking away, panting and pressing his forehead to hers to catch his breath. He shifts his weight to one arm, using his other to push her hair away from her neck. He leaves kisses on her cheeks that lead to her ear, licking his lips swiftly before gently sucking on the spot where her hair meets her neck.

She moans, arching her back and feeling her chest pressed to his. He doesn’t suck as hard as she did just merely a few hours ago. Not enough to leave a mark. “Smell so good.” He praises her before his cold hands travel up her arm and to the top of her shoulder.

She throws her head back further, giving him more access to her neck to do as he pleases. He feels her gulp before letting out a whine, the sound going straight to his cock as he ushers in discomfort. He pushed himself backward with his arms, lifting both of her legs so he could kneel between her thighs. 

He runs his hand up her leg before stopping at her hip, pressing into her soft skin, and walking himself back up her body with his palms. He kisses her lips, feeling her tongue against his as he groans. She places her hands on his shoulders, watching as he moves lower to kiss all over her chest. 

She was exactly as they left things hours prior. Still in her lingerie top that he admired earlier. Other than her bra, she was completely naked. It always saddened her when he was quick to put his clothes back on whenever they had sex. Sometimes she just loved their skin-to-skin contact.

He squeezed one of her breasts between his hands, the clothing blocking him from touching her bare skin. “E.”

She looked down into his eyes, her eyebrows contorting into a frown. “What’s wrong?”

“You know you’re the prettiest thing to ever walk this Earth, right baby?” He looks up from her cleavage, his chin resting between her breasts. “You look so… beautiful…” He kisses her breasts between words. Her left and then her right much harder than before. “My pretty girl.” His kisses lead up to her lips. “But I need this off right now. Can I?”

She laughs, covering her red cheeks with her hands. “Go ahead, Minee.” Before she has enough time to arch her back off the bed, his hand is already sneaking behind her and unclasping her bra. He sits back on his knees, gently pulling the straps down her arms and tossing the garment behind him.

He takes her right nipple into his mouth, squeezing her side with his hand as his tongue swirls around the bud. She twirls strands of his hair around her fingers, trying to make up for everything he’s done for her. She can already feel the slickness pooling between her legs with the addition of his warm mouth on hers.

He kisses a path back up to her lips, smiling when they are face to face again. Seokmin cups her cheek as their tongues gently move with each other while his other hand rests against her pillow, keeping the top of her head safe.

He pulls away, looking into her eyes and she can only see darkness filling his. He uses one of his knees to part her thighs, whispering against her ear. “Open.”

She furrows her eyebrows, confusion etched into the features of her face but she complies. She opens her mouth, searching his face for any indication of what he has planned. She was unprepared for him sticking two fingers in her mouth. He raised his eyebrows and she took that as a sign to wrap her lips around him. Once he pulled them out, their eye contact continued while he slipped his hand between her legs, applying her saliva to her already wet pussy.

The flames keep spreading inside her chest and the next thing she knows, the butterflies are flapping around in her stomach along with a blush creeping onto her cheeks. It may have even traveled to her ears. Perhaps the distance and time apart from each other have made him more risqué. He has opened up a lot more since his last comeback and he exudes confidence. She is not complaining though.

Her teeth sink into her bottom lip, breath hitching in her throat as Seokmin softly draws circles around her. It felt good but she needed way more. And he gave her just that. One finger dipped effortlessly into her entrance and it made her all the more relaxed. He watched her go from being on edge, anticipating his touch to relaxing against the sheets, sighing as he delved a finger inside her.

He looked down between them, pushing her legs even further apart, causing her to moan. He added another finger, watching as her head fell back on the pillow, arching into his touch. She gripped onto the back of his neck, fingers digging into the area below his hair. It’s hard to believe that he’s doing such sinful things to her when his hair is dyed close to pinkish red. She would have called him cute and adorable if his hand wasn’t buried between her legs.

“Is this okay?” He whispers into her ear, peppering kisses along her jawline.

Eden presses her lips together to whine, nodding her head so he has no doubt that he’s doing a good job. He curls his fingers upwards, trying to restrain himself as his teeth meet her neck. Her other hand finds its way toward his shorts, slipping past the band and feeling his boner in his boxers. Maybe she shouldn’t have taken him by surprise like that because his fingers quickly come in contact with her g-spot and he restrains a grunt against her lips. Gripping him tighter as a storm builds up inside her.

Her hips grind against his hand, matching his flow as she's a writhing mess beneath him. He feels her squeeze around his fingers tighter, knowing she’s close. She pumps him through his clothes, her strokes inconsistent with how good he’s making her feel.

“I’m gonna come–” She tries to whisper but her voice cracks and her moans are loud in the bedroom.

Seokmin quickly stops, dragging his fingers up the center of her body until they’re close enough he can suck her juices off of them. She’s rubbing her thighs together at the absence of his hand until he pins one of her legs down to the bed before kissing her, letting her taste herself. She groans against him, pressing herself onto his thigh for more contact.

“Not yet. Let’s come together.” He kisses her once more before pulling the blankets off, discarding his boxers, and getting a condom.

When he returns, she scoots over a bit to give him some room. He lays on his side next to her, tilting her face towards him and kissing her. He slips his arm underneath her neck, 

When she feels his erection poking her leg, she reaches to give it a few good pumps. He feels his head spin, taking her hand so he can kiss her knuckles.

Eden smiles as her eyes flutter shut, his arm around her reaching down to grope her breasts. He guides her leg over his hip as his hand reaches between her legs to give her wetness a few strokes. He carefully aligns his cock with her entrance and settles his hand on her hip, slowly pushing into her.

Once he’s all the way in, he uses his free hand to guide her hips back and forth, creating a gentle rhythm that they can both feel deeply. Her upper body rolls over a bit, moaning as she squeezes onto his wrist with both hands. He is painfully slow to begin with, giving Eden more time to get her stomach in knots again.

He pulls her closer to him with the arm that's under her, pecking the back of her neck until she turns back to face him. She smiles at him, steadying himself as he leans in to kiss her. Her hand tangles itself in his hair towards the back of his head, smiling against his lips.

Seokmin presses his forehead to hers, fingers digging into her hip with more pressure. “So perfect.” He whispers, nuzzling his nose against hers as they breathe the same air. “You are made for me.”

She blushes, pushing her bottom against his hips as she chuckles quietly. If there was a slither of space between the two, there sure wasn’t any now. “Just for you. Only you.”

What she says and does riles something inside of him because he starts thrusting into her a little faster. His hand moves lower down her leg, lifting her thigh and driving his cock deeper. She’s a whimpering mess, her eyes rolling to the back of her head as she tries to hold on longer.

Sweat beads on his forehead as he kisses her shoulder, moving down far enough that he’s level with her shoulder blades. He decides to repay the favor from earlier, closing his lips around the spot on her back as he begins sucking.

When a fresh bruise forms on her skin, he starts going harder. The moment they both hear the slapping of each other’s skin on one another, they know Seokmin is close. He lays her thigh over his and his hand sneaks in front between her legs. He finds her clit, rubbing violent circles around it as he supresses his grunts against her shoulder.

Eden’s cries get louder and higher in pitch before they halt for a second, the knot unraveling in her stomach as she comes hard, moaning out into the bedroom. He is right behind her, his thrusts becoming inconsistent and messy as he spills into the condom. She whines every time his hips spasm, pushing into her hard and abruptly until he rides out his high.

Their pants fill the bedroom as Seokmin hugs her closer, kissing her neck before he gently pulls out of her. The smell of her hair invades his senses as he brushes his nose against her ear.

“Do you remember your dream yet?” He grins, stretching to peck her cheek.

She huffs before laughing, stretching in his grasp and arching back against him. “It’s coming back to me.”

“I love you.” He kisses her twice, taking his arm from underneath her back and pushing himself off the bed. “I’ll be right–“

“Don’t.” She reaches behind herself, catching onto his thigh as she’s working to catch her breath. “Stay here with me. Let’s just stay like this for a while.”

“Don’t you wish we had more freedom like we’ve had these past few days?”

“Freedom…” She starts, laying flat against his chest again as she runs her hands up her thighs. “Like I could walk around the house without having to cover up too much?”

“If that’s what you want, my love, then I will make that happen for you.” He kisses behind her ear, his hands placed on her shoulders as he rubs his thumbs back and forth.

“We’ll have the freedom to decorate our home as we please?”

“Yes. That too.” Seokmin’s hands start their descent down her arms.

“With a big bathtub fit for the both of us?”

“Absolutely.”

She hums, feeling his fingers lock with his on her thighs. She continues to flirt. “We’ll have the freedom to do whatever we want, where we want, however loud we want?”

He takes in a sharp inhale, wrapping both of their hands around her waist. He parts his lips against her neck, his tongue briefly coming in contact with her skin. “Not too loud though.”

Her cheeks warm up, remembering they’d have more freedom but not too much. “It sounds perfect.”

He lets go of one of her hands, gliding his hand up her body to squeeze her breast between his fingers. “Maybe in a year or so, it will become our reality.”

He pinches her nipples, resulting in her throwing her head back on his shoulder. She lets out a sigh as she brings her legs together, trying to satisfy the ache.

Her left hand hovers over his on her chest, while her other reaches behind her to find his hardening length. She feels his front flex against her back, increasing the pressure on her nipple. She runs her thumb over his tip for a few sets before stroking him entirely between her palm.

“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” He whispers next to her ear, his other hand roaming her stomach.

“I think I have an idea.” She chuckles, squeezing his cock.

He throws his head back, biting his lower lip with a groan. His hand travels further south, stopping to massage her inner thighs.

Eden squirms, feeling her eyes roll back as she arches her back. “Baby…”

“Tell me what you want.” He kisses where her neck meets her shoulder, switching his left hand to her other hard nipple.

“Please, touch me.” Her whines are sweet and full of desire, but she never stops pumping his cock.

“Anything you want, I’ll do it for you.” He smirks, using one of his calves to assist him in spreading her legs wider. 

He runs his middle finger down her center under the water, taking in every sound and jolt that comes from her body when they touch.

“Fuck…” She curses under the breath, caressing his length. She makes the fortunate mistake to look down at herself, seeing his one hand travel higher until he is caressing her neck, and the other between her legs. The sight is so arousing to her, she uses her free hand to gather some of the leftover bubbles, spreading and swirling them around on her front, leading up to his hand. She can’t help but notice how soft her skin feels, wanting and needing more.

His fingertips carve out the line of her jaw, tipping her head back so he can kiss her. He swallows her moans as he picks up the pace on her clit. Eden becomes painfully aware of the water splashing around in the tub. She tries not to move too much to not make a mess, but she can’t help it with the knot forming in her center.

She pulls away from his lips, her cries echoing off the bathroom walls before she squeezes her legs closed around his hand. He stops altogether, his abs flexing against her back as she grips his length.

Eden pants, trying to catch her breath and paying close attention to the water calming down again. Then she starts snickering because she did not expect to be doing this for the third time in less than 24 hours.

“What?” Seokmin smirks while rubbing his hands up and down her arms.

She lets go of him, using her palms against his thighs to push herself up, turning her body around in the tub to face him. She crawls onto his lap with a smile on her face, placing her hands on his shoulders. “We’re animals.”

He doesn’t say anything, but the blush on his cheeks gives him away and they both laugh together. She feels him against her thigh, feeling herself getting excited all over again. She cups his face with both of her hands, leaning in to kiss him. He tastes perfect, of everything she loves and more.

Eden tries not to dig her fingers in his hair with her wet hands as she moves her kisses to his ear. Then she kisses a trail lower down his neck. She reaches between them, stroking his length with a grip much softer than before.

“What was that word you used?” He breathes heavily against her ear, his core tightening as she gently squeezes his cock.

“Hmm?” She hums against his neck, feeling his pulse against her lips.

“Arrang… No wait… It was deranged.” He stutters before the word actually comes to him. “Would it be deranged to say that I need you?”

She snorts, leaning in to kiss him with a smile. “Not in here, though.”

“No?” He looks around the tub, appearing as if he was actually considering having sex right where they were.

“I don’t want to flood the bathroom or one of us gets a nasty infection. So no.” She shakes her head. He’s thankful that she was smarter than him. Knowing himself, he wouldn’t have even considered that fact.

He manages to release the stopper on the drain with his foot, gripping her hips tight as he helps her stand to her feet. He steps out onto the towel placed on the floor, Eden giggling as she reaches to dry herself off. But before she can do anything, he scoops her up in his arms. She squeals, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him tight. Seokmin carries her across the bathroom, finding the box of condoms they packed for the trip.

“Oh look,” His arm supports her bottom half, using the other to pick a condom out of the box. “One left.” He cocks his eyebrow, bringing the foil to his mouth and biting down on it with his teeth. He traps the wrapper in his mouth as his hand assumes its position to her back.

“Oh my god.” She ducks her head in his neck, covering her face with her palm from embarrassment as he carries her to the bed.

He lays her down as softly as possible, taking the condom from between his teeth and setting it aside. He crawls over top of her, cupping her cheek with one hand as he reaches down to kiss her. She smiles against his lips, feeling the muscles in his back with her hands. It feels odd for them both to still be wet from the bath and coming in contact with their bedsheets.

It also feels a hundred times more erotic to see each other in their barest forms in broad daylight. Light shines through the window with no barrier, and for the first time in her life, she is thanking the sun for its existence. It shines down on Seokmin so beautifully, enhancing every dip and curve on his stunning tanned body.

Eden parts her thighs, welcoming him by wrapping her legs around his waist. He nips her bottom lip into his mouth, pulling away from her to spread kisses on her neck. He works his way down her body, sucking and kissing every inch of her until he is level with her heat.

He wastes no time, getting straight to work. He licks a line straight down her center, grabbing hold of her thighs as his tongue sinks into her. She bites back a moan, feeling the cold air on her damp body, it only intensifies her awareness of how his mouth is exploring her. She gently presses the soles of her feet into his back, turning her head to the side and shutting her eyes.

His fingers dig into the skin of her thighs, his nose brushing against her clit whenever he tries to aim his tongue deeper. Seokmin looks upwards to check her reactions, only to be met with her jaw. He smirks against her and she feels the buzz jolt up her body. She presses her lips in a tight line as she whines, lifting her head to look down at him. She could come just from the sight alone.

His right hand slides up her body, his fingers squeezing one of her breasts before pinching her nipple. Her moans get louder and her body shudders underneath him. She grabs onto his wrist with both of her hands, keeping his on her chest as she tries to push herself down on his mouth.

His other hand lets go of her thigh and travels to her middle. One finger comes in contact with his tongue before he pushes it past her entrance.

“Fuck.” She curses, letting him go and gripping the sheets underneath her.

“Absolutely perfect.” She can’t see the grin on his face, only the sinful whispers of his voice as he pulls away and studies her reacting to his fingers. He peppers kisses along her inner thighs as she breathes heavily. His tongue licks at her clit and she can feel the knot collecting in her stomach.

Eden can’t contain herself when her back arches off the bed, letting out a cry as one hand falls on her breast. She’s close and they both know it. She pushes on his forehead with her other hand, her soles trying to achieve the same thing. “Oh god. Hold on a sec…”

Seokmin grins to himself before sitting back on his knees, running his palms up and down her thighs to cool her down. “You okay?”

She brings her thighs together, covering her face while panting. “Yes, I was just…wow.”

“Let me see your pretty face.” He smiles, moving her legs aside and holding himself up with his fists. He gently removes her hand from her face, brushing her disheveled hair flat against the bed and leaning down to kiss her. He swallows her uneven breaths, subconsciously grinding his cock against the back of her thigh for more friction.

Their lips move together while he reaches for the condom he grabbed. He leaves one last kiss on her cheek before sitting back, tearing the wrapper open and sliding it down his length. She parts her legs once again, watching him with a dazed expression as he nestles himself between her thighs.

Seokmin grabs hold of her right leg, throwing it over his shoulder while pressing his fingers into her skin. He turns his head to give the inside of her knee a peck. Giving himself a few strokes, he teases her entrance by swiping up and down with his tip.

“Please…” She whispers, reaching forward for him.

“Anything.” He complies, a hand on her hip while the other locks around her thigh before he slowly pushes his cock into her.

She moans while throwing her head back. She only knows she’s taken all of him when her palm comes in contact with his abdomen. He pulls back out, seeing his tip hidden in her before driving back into her at a painfully slow pace. She feels him much deeper, clawing at his abs while her other hand holds onto his wrist at her hip.

“Oh god.” Her back arches once more as he continues his measured thrusts. It is so agonizing.

“You like that, baby?” He speaks low, letting go of her hip to trail his fingers up her arm, stopping to cup her breast.

“Y-yes…” She cries, watching as he pulls out again, anticipating his next thrust. He pushes in slowly before quickening his pace, feeling him snap against her. The motion itself is enough for her to see stars. Her eyes roll back, biting down on her lip as her moans climb in volume. “I…fuck. So good.”

He carefully guides her leg back down, throwing it around his waist before leaning forward and hovering over her. Her lids are heavy but that doesn’t stop her from reaching behind his neck, pulling him down and against her lips.

He transfers his weight to his forearms, cradling her head as he slips his tongue into her mouth. Her fingers tangle in his hair, locking her legs around him and savoring how well he fills her up. Her chest is flush with his, moaning against him as his hips find a faster rhythm for her.

With every thrust, her back is arching into his chest, her breasts coming in contact with his skin. He dips his head to her neck, breathing hard against her pulse as he fucks her. Eden moans every time his cock brushes her sensitive spot, feeling a shock shooting straight up her spine. She hooks her arms underneath his, her hands and legs holding onto him for dear life.

She’s close to her climax given how he completely devoured her, letting both of her legs fall to the side as wide as they can go. She can’t decide whether it was a mistake or a blessing because the change has her seeing specks of white in her vision. She is convulsing with pleasure, squeezing around Seokmin as he groans. He accidentally bites down on her shoulder from how intense the feeling is.

“Seok, I’m gonna c-come.” She cries, her fingernails digging into his shoulder and she swears she feels like she’s falling.

He pushes himself back with his palms, sitting back and dragging his hands down her body until he gets a tight grip on her hips. He halts his movements for a split second before resuming his slow and gentle thrusts. “I’ve got you, baby. Come for me.” Before she has time to process what he says, he is slamming into her at a much faster rate.

Eden can barely keep up as her hand slides between her legs, trying to draw circles on her clit but being too overcome with bliss to concentrate. She grabs his wrists, squeezing so hard and hoping it’s enough to keep her grounded. The instant his hand reaches between them and starts swiping patterns against her clit, she is gone. Her orgasm rips through her every vessel, her cries filling the bedroom when her memory goes foggy.

Seokmin isn’t too far behind her, proceeding with his thrusts as they become more erratic and sloppy. He spills into the condom, muttering profanities delivered with groans as he empties himself. He’s out of breath, panting and it takes everything in him not to fall forward and pass out for her to bear all his weight.

He’s gentle and a bit shaky when pulling out of her, collapsing on his back beside her. Eden eventually comes to, catching her breath and covering her face with her arm. She starts giggling to herself, turning over and curling into his body.

“What?” He smiles, taking her hair out of the clip at the top of her head and tucking his arm underneath her neck.

“Animals.” She rests her hand on his chest, looking up at him.

He looks away in embarrassment, the couple snorting together. She rolls onto her stomach, propping herself up with wobbly elbows. “I think we should take a shower after that.”

He lets out a sigh of relief, his cheeks hurting from smiling. “That’s probably a good idea.”

“No funny business though.”

He brushes loose strands away from her face, smoothing the back of her hair down. “Don’t worry, I’ll behave.”

He scoots off the bed, holding his hand out for her. She sits up, taking it and he pulls her up effortlessly, Eden crashing into his chest as she laughs. They walk in each other's arms to the bathroom, Seokmin heading straight for the shower and turning the faucet on. While it heats up, he steps away to dispose of the condom in the trash can, finding their clothes and checking to make sure they didn’t get wet in the process.

She steps under the showerhead, not caring how everything they did this morning was destined to set them back at least two hours. Now she had to worry about not going out with a wet head.

She’s surprised when she feels him bump into her from behind. He places his hands on her shoulders, turning her around to face him. He cups both of her cheeks with his palms and kisses her intently, enough to push her back against the tile.

He’s standing directly under the water, letting it wash away his sweat. He pulls away, able to taste the water on her lips.

“I thought I said no funny business?” She raises a brow, playfully jabbing her knuckles into his side.

“I know, I just really wanted to kiss you.” He steals another kiss before giving her the puppy dog eyes. “It’s been a while since we’ve taken a shower together.”

Eden tilts her head, pouting while she does the math in her head. It has been a while. So long that she can’t even remember the last time.

She wraps her arms around his waist, smiling as she rests her ear against his heart. She can’t hear much from the water running, but she knows it’s there. Beating just for her.

“I love you.” She whispers.

He bends his neck down, collecting her wet hair at the base of her neck before kissing her head. “I love you too.”

you can join my taglist here! ♡

[radianttulsibabe]

I think this is the one I need to share for today's post. I get very emotional when I see this one. The artist left the scars on Rukmini's wrists that she covered with her bangles that are sliding down her arm. And Pradyumna looks so young and free of worldly cares, but also has the arrow of destiny on his shoulders. I think about my children and their quick journeys to their next lives. How the education they have from their souls being free far exceeds any schooling I could have provided them. I often think maybe when Pradyumna left, maybe the same thoughts flashed through Mata's head that flash through mine. Maybe she cried herself to sleep, maybe she cried herself through lonely holidays watching the other kids with their mothers, maybe she cried when she watched them grow knowing he was so far away and she was missing his milestones. I bet she cried when he returned and called her Mata. today marks 6 years since I found out about our oldest son- he was only with us for a short bit, but I know his soul had a greater purpose than being part of the life I live in this incarnation. Maybe one day he'll want to come back and stick around for a bit- maybe he'll want to spend time with us on this earth. That would be cool. But I'm sure whatever his path is, mata and baba are probably too embarrassing anyways...he's probably got more important things to do than hang out with me and eat laddoos and mangos...

anyways. not trying to be heavy. today's been difficult. I lit a candle for Ganesha first thing this morning. I think it's still burning...that was 16hours ago...but I made some new friends today and that was really great. I learned a lot. I'm very glad that my children are not dealing with the racism that we go through. It hurts. a lot. but when you make friends that also love Tulsi, and people are willing to pray with a stranger that's crying, even if it's to a god you don't worship, sometimes just having someone praying to their god for you really does make a difference- just knowing that they want to speak on your behalf to the person that helps them when they are in pain.

I made a friend today that loves Tulsi as much as I do. and I was so glad to know that there are so many of us that are finding each other here. Tulsi isn't terribly common in American homes, but making friends that know and love it heals my heart.

This blog is slowly becoming a mini diary. Hopefully something I've shared can help you today.

I hope your weekend and month end pass with the least amount of pain possible. blessings for a prosperous February.

<3 Rukmini

[coffee-at-annies]

Lmao I asked my deck about how the Pittsburgh Penguins would do in February and my cards seem to think the month looks bright (or not since I don’t deal with reversed so we’re looking at both and it’s real swingy what kind of February is in store for the boys).

Past: The World. Happily ever after following a difficult journey, triumph, and celebration. Reversed its disappointment, shortsightedness, and anxiety. This is saying that the team’s most difficult and rewarding victories (cups anyone? but also the roadtrip we just got done with) are behind them but reminds us that the end of a journey also heralds the beginning of a new journey. What with going 3-4 on the roadtrip but also the goalie goal (and finally being home to celebrate it), I think we definitely hit both the upright and reversed for this card. At the very least, the trip is firmly in the past and we don’t have to be gone for that long again this season. We’ll have another trip to hit col vgk and min but nothing like what just happened.

Present: The Star. Hope after disaster, staying positive after misfortune, being open to future possibilities. Reversed its crushed dreams, despair, exhaustion. Lmao. This season has been disastrous. January certainly felt like a disaster between the losing streaks at home and on the road, sending the Jars and Picks down, and everything that happened. There’s the hope that we’ll see “new month new penguins” but I’m not sure how much faith the fanbase nor the boys have in themselves. Hopefully the two week break and the return home are enough to uplift. If not that then maybe we’ll see some new boys and new possibilities as we inch closer to both the break and the tdl.

Future: Page of Coins. The beginning of Spring and a fresh start. Hope, mental wellness, and setting goals to build to a bright future. Reversed its lack of common sense, laziness, apathy. I’m choosing to hope this is about calling the kids up, making strategic trades, and setting down the bones of a team that can either claw its way to the playoffs this year or next. Hopefully we banish the lingering apathy and get a group who can play a full 60 minutes and show us hockey to get excited about. Maybe the break will be good for the boys and those in the tourney can find something to inspire them. Pls pls pls gmkd don’t fuck up this tdl or any trades this month I’m begging

[miss-doing-nothing]

valentines day with dave mustaine where he takes reader out for dinner and he's all sweet until they go home and they have sex 👉👈

hii this is my first post ever and my first ff ever written, sorry if it's a bit bad. I tried to do smut but I never ever did it before lmao. English is not my first language and I'm still working on the pov and everything. Thank you for your ask!

Valentine's Day

TW: explicit language, p in v, uhm maybe some grammar mistakes and formulation 😭 give me time to learn how to do this stuff pls lmao

"You know you can at least pretend you're happy?" you spoke softly while brushing your hair and fixing it with some hairspray, while Dave sulked on the bed while watching you. "You know he didn't mean it, Davey, you know he can be a dickhead-" you got cut off by Dave's scoff "He literally said that I'm the worst boyfriend ever and that I'm making you suffer by being me?" he raised his voice.

You sighed and turned to face the redhead, his eyebrows were now frowning while his hands were clenching. His ego was hurt. And God, he got defensive and sulky when that happened. You chuckled for a brief second just because he reminded you of a really angry Pomeranian puppy, and well Dave had the personality for that. He was proud and sensitive at the same time, he was confusing but also brief.

"Baby, you know I don't care about that" you stood up, your hips slightly swaying as you walked over to the bigger man. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and smiled briefly while he scowled. You softly grabbed his face and pecked his full lips. Dave wrapped his arms around you and gently rolled you on the bed, while getting on top, but before he got his hands under your robe, you gently smacked his shoulder "Not now, you said we're having a reservation"

Dave scoffed and got up "Then get fucking ready, don't tease me" he mumbled and watched you walk to the closet. You gently let your robe fall down as you put on your underwear and some black stockings. You looked through all the dresses and went for a simple black little dress. The heels were a tougher choice, it was snowy and cold since it was the middle of the February, but you also wanted to look sexy for your Valentine's day date. You picked a pair of high heeled boots that were knee height. They made your legs look longer and gave you a bit of height to kiss Dave.

Meanwhile Dave was lazing around while you finished your makeup and applied red lipstick on your lips with a brush, just like you heard Marilyn Monroe did. You turned and faced him with a smile while he just nodded and got up.

The drive to the date was tense, maybe it was the fact that Marty made fun of Dave today, calling him boring and absolutely emotionally constipated, but you tried to do everything to make him feel better. Dave was a good man, a very kind and loving one under all the bite and mean behavior, at least he showed you that. It's the small things really, how he always chooses the road part when you're both having a walk, or maybe it's the way he always opens the doors and holds you a bit tighter to his side.

Dave's an enigma, a really hot and passionate one, and you can't seem to catch a break. The best part is usually the make-up sex or even better, when he gets jealous. Jealousy happens often, maybe not as often as you hope, but it does. You know he also enjoys it, a lot.

The dinner was good, he opened the door, took you to the table and nearly beat up a waiter that accidentally knocked into you. You softly held his hand while he spoke about the new album and everything that's going to happen. Rust in Peace seemed like a success already, you obviously are his biggest supporter his biggest believer and he knows that. Dave held your hand tighter as he looked at you, particularly your breasts that almost spill out of the cleavage cut, the soft lips that wrap around the straw and your soft smile as he speaks about his career.

As you both eat, you can already feel it, his gaze. You cross your legs tightly, hoping that the tension will make the heat that's pooling in your lower tummy go away, but it doesn't work. His gaze is intense and your panties are slowly getting soaked. He knows it and you know it too. You both start eating and enjoy the small talk, you tell him about your latest walks, music discovery and you lose yourself for a split second and continue speaking while Dave gazes at you lovingly.

He pulls your chair closer and softly holds your hand. "I-" he breathed in "You know I love you right?" he whispers softly. You look up at him and blink before smiling "Of course Davey. I know you do-" he cuts you off "I know I can be a dickhead, but fuck, I'd fucking burn the fucking world for you babe" he whispered. Your eyes glisten slightly, he chuckles and softly caresses your cheek. "My sensitive baby" he whispered "I know what you need" he softly slips his hand between your thighs and touches your panties before pulling back "Already soaked baby?" he whispered. You glanced back at him and blush "Dont-" he cuts you off "I'll make sure you won't forget this valentine's day"

After the sweet and intimate dinner you both got into his car, he drove swiftly home and helped you out immediately out of the car. The moment the door closed he was on you, his lips smashed against yours and he softly but steadily got you out of your boots. He pulled you up bride style and nearly fell up the stairs. The bedroom door was pushed open while he threw you on the bed gently. He took off his shirt and jeans in one go before crawling over and pulling your dress off. His lips were everywhere, your neck your cleavage, your chest and it went lower. "Fuck" he moaned and ripped the stockings "This had me fucking hard since you put them on" he spoke.

You blushed and let him pull the ripped stockings off along with the soaked panties. He managed to unclasp your bra and throw it away somewhere while his lips took your sensitive nipple in his mouth. He kneaded your other breast while gently slipping his finger between the folds. he pulled away and got rid of his boxers. You both stared at each other and chuckled. He softly pushed a finger in while kissing you softly, you gasped into his mouth and he managed to push his tongue in between your lips, meanwhile his second finger slipped in and you let a soft gasp.

He chuckled and continued his movements while you writhed under him, his finger pressed your sensitive nub and you nearly came there and then. He pulled away and softly got between your legs. He leaned over to the nightstand and pulled a condom but you gently stopped him "I'll take a morning after pill" you gently whispered. He groaned and positioned himself, his hand guiding him into you. He softly thrusted in and you both paused from the pleasure. His movements got fast and aggressive pretty fast, his hand grasping your neck gently "Fuck look at me" he gasped. you look at him and he nearly moans as he looks at your face. You wrap your arms around his shoulders while he pushes your legs even more apart. Minutes later you both shudder and gasp as you hit the climax. He rolls you on your stomach and grabs your hips before slipping right back in. His hand grasps yours while you clench on the pillow and whine. His movements get faster and deeper and before you both realize you manage to finish again.

He pulls out and looks at you. He falls back on the bed next to you before pulling you into a hug and kissing you. You lay dazed and confused for a split second before he gets up and takes you to the bathroom to pee and have a shower. He helps you in and washes all the sweat and essence off before kissing your shoulder. He wraps you in a fluffy towel before taking you to the bed. Afterwards you both lay down and cuddle, his big hands holding your thigh against his waist. He kisses you gently before you fall asleep, safe in his arms.

[kittyplushy]

🛌 - do you and your f/o sleep in the same bed? if you do, do you have a favorite and least favorite thing about sleeping together?

🎇 - do you and your f/o have a favorite holiday to celebrate together? what is it? do you have different holidays you like celebrating?

🥧 - have you and your f/o tried to bake something together? how did it go? what did you make?

Hai hai wrennnn I'm on lunch break so lemme run through these <3. Thank you!

🛏: Julianne initially bought a bigger bed. She was already hoping she'd settle in with someone while she stayed in Woodbrook. Her persuing Sam only came after they developed a friendly acquaintanceship so in terms of any sleeping arrangements, Julianne was more than ready.

SINGLE METAL BED FRAME😭😭😭 Initially Sam and Julianne just sleep on the floor or couch together because there's no way THAT will accomodate them both so they prefer sleeping over at Julianne's apartment. I dunno. Even into the relationship, Sam has the mindset that they'll eventually end up as an expendature she can move on from. But sometimes you just get so numb and powerless you buy another metal bedframe to connect the other to and she can finally sleep over at your house more.

I get so emotional over beds and sleeping arrangements!! It circles back to Stuffed Animal where Lesley doesn't need to sleep since she's already a doll and The Illustrator does. It's more on tapping into each other's humanity and recognizing that living beings need adequate rest and a comfortable bed to sleep in..for House Guest it's improving those living conditions or having set them already because you care enough for your partner to rest well. Julianne didn't plan on dating Sam on day one but it's probably coinscidence and a pattern she got a bigger bed not knowing how big her partner will be eventually.

Ahh them sleepin together is super comfortable but they have pet peeves about how the other sleeps. Julianne is an active dreamer and squirms, rolls, kicks, or bumps in her sleep. She also sometimes just Doesn't Sleep and starts kneading on Sam's arm. It's especially annoying when they both have work the next day and one ends up with a sore arm and one's barely alive at 2 pm.

Sam is Perpetually Warm and it's great when it's fall or it's winter but it's Bad during the Summer especially around June (for. Reasons.) Around that time she's extra physical and handsy so Julianne who's usually a hot sleeper finds it a bit annoying. Sam also hogs the blankets which would be fine most times but it's bad timing after exercise or during the winter. They both enjoy everything else so nothing here is that big of a deal.

🎆: Ohhh it's between Christmas and this springtime fair Woodbrook hosts!! Christmas reminds Julianne of her home since they like to celebrate Christmas big, and she's just lucky to celebrate Christmas with someone on her first year!! Let alone her crush!! As for the fair, in the Philippines, schools have spring fairs from February to March. One that's prominent is the Antipolo Fair I attend quite often so Woodbrook having a smaller scale version would be fun. I imagine in that one month Sam and Julianne didn't talk, it happened just outside Julianne's apartment. She people-watches from her window, her eyes obviously searching for someone. In the next year they go together as a date!!

🥧: I used to bake a lot during the pandemic lockdown so I think Julianne likes baking but now just doesn't have time. She bakes pies, cakes, some local recipes, but she mostly bakes cookies for Sam during the pining stage. It's fairly easy to do in between work and you can keep the batter in the fridge for days plus it keeps its shape in the oven when refridgerated. They have tried making sourdough together early into the relationship after Julianne attempts it and it goes awry. It's another fic idea simmering because sourdough is such a hard bread to bake and I get intimidated by most bread recipes. I dunno. Maybe it means something somewhere hehe

[prettyinlimegreenboots]

Taking Comfort (In Your Arms) - Chapter 16

December 1944

My dearest Addie, 

Merry Christmas, darling. Wishing more than anything I was by your side saying those words instead of being thousands of miles away from you. We got the best Christmas present we could’ve ever asked for - Red Cross parcels filled with food and chocolate. Sad to say I couldn’t ask for anything else, except maybe pulling you into my arms and kissing you senselessly. 

There’s more and more scuttlebutt of us moving out but it’s hard to believe what’s real or not. I promise you I’ll continue to write to you, no matter where I end up. 

I have a promise to uphold - I’m going to watch you walk down an aisle to me. Buck is going to be my best man and Elizabeth your maid of honor. I promise the three of us, along with DeMarco, Brady, and all the boys will make it home to you and the base. 

I love you with all my heart. 

Yours, 

John 

My dear John, 

Merry Christmas, handsome. I’ve got two years of presents to give you next time I see you - just something for you to look forward to. The kitchen has promised a Christmas feast for the ages - I just hope there’s some kind of real meat being served this year. 

We got our first dusting of snow - though I’m sure it’s nothing to the amount of snow you’d get back home in Wisconsin. Meatball had fun running through the snowy fields. Though, he didn’t quite enjoy the bath I had to give him afterwards. Actually, I didn’t enjoy that much either - him shaking in the middle of the bath isn’t my definition of a good time. 

I wish I could hear your voice and your arms wrapped around me in one of your comforting hugs. I don’t even care what we were arguing about before you went down - it’s in the past and something I’ve forgiven you for a long time ago. 

My Christmas wish this year? That you’ll come home this next year - I can’t take another year without at least seeing you. Here’s to hoping this one comes true. 

With all my love, 

Addie

February 3, 1945, 0630 Hours

She pulled John’s jacket tighter around her, trying to combat the freezing cold. Watching the puffs of air swirl in the cold morning breeze, she sighed. Waiting. That’s all she felt like she was doing those days. 

Watching Meatball running in the grass made her smile. At least someone was enjoying the cold. 

“You look grumpy. Also, good morning.” The cheerful voice called from behind her. 

Slowly turning, she glared at the voice before softening her look as he neared. “Good morning, Rosie. Why do you have to be so cheerful this early in the morning?”

“It’s going to be a good day, Addie.” He stopped, giving her a look before pulling her into a hug. “Did someone get up on the wrong side of the bed?”

Shaking her head, she sighed. “Waiting, Rosie. It just sucks and I’m in a mood. Doesn’t help you’re going back up today.” 

His arms tightened around her as she placed her head on his shoulder. A few more sighs escaped her mouth. “We’re so close to this war ending, Addie; closer than we have been in years. Hilter has a two-front war, the absolute last thing he wanted. You’ve had a hell of the last year and half but we’re nearing the finish line. Just hold on a bit longer. We’ll get our boys back and make sure John returns to you.” 

She gave him a hug before stepping away, running a hand through her hair. She smiled wearily. “Thanks Rosie.” 

“Anytime. Douglass and Blakely are both staying back today so if you need anything, go to them.” He spoke quietly, knowing he would soon need to head to the trucks. “Dinner when I get back?” 

“Of course, Rosie. I’ll save you a seat. Safe flying today.” She gave him a salute, which he wholeheartedly returned, pulling her into another hug. 

“Have a good day, Addie.” With one final nod, he headed to the truck, leaving her alone. Whistling, she got Meatball’s attention before heading into the warm tower. 

Pouring herself a cup of coffee, she took a seat at her desk, wishing more than anything that the day would go by quickly. 

Sixteen months of waiting and hoping that her boys would come home safe. 

1400 Hours

Hearing the familiar roar of the planes returning, she grinned knowing the entire base would be in great spirits. Jeffrey was already talking about how important that day’s mission was for both the boys on base and the Allies in general. 

Pushing away from her desk, she gave Josie a look, pulling on the now famous John Egan jacket. “I'm going to go greet Rosie outside of interrogation. You want to come?”

Nodding, Josie stood, prompting Meatball to join the girls as they made their way outside. Meatball ran ahead, greeting men as they jumped off the trucks, heading into interrogation. Cheerful greetings were given to her as she made her way towards the hut. 

Trying to get out of the cold wind, she buried her hands into her jacket as she bounced on her toes, trying to generate some heat. Her eyes scanned the airfield, smiling seeing it busy with crews and men. Seeing her brother walk out of the interrogation hut caused her to smile big. “Charlie! What are you doing in interrogation? Didn’t know they had pulled you in.”

“They called me in to hear something.” Charlie bit his lip, giving his sister a look. “You need to come with me, there’s something I need to tell you.” 

Not liking how that sounded, she silently followed Charlie as he led her to his classroom hut. Charlie nodded over her shoulder, as he held open the door. Josie followed behind the siblings, picking up Charlie’s mood. Whatever he was going to tell the girls wasn’t exactly good news. 

Picking up on his hesitancy, Addie leveled her brother, giving him a look. “Don’t beat around the bush and don’t try to spare my feelings. What’s going on?” 

Charlie sighed, running a hand through his hair as he looked at his little sister. The sister that had already been dealt two difficult blows and he’s about to tell her something else that was going to devastate her. “The reason I was called into interrogation is because Rosie went down, somewhere east of Berlin. The boys reported 7 parachutes from his plane, so we have hope, but we just don’t know which side he was picked up by.” 

Stumbling back, the back of her legs knocked into a desk. Leaning on it, she breathed deeply, giving her brother a look. “Charlie, tell me it’s anyone else. But just not Rosie.” 

Pulling Addie into his arms, he ran his hand up and down her back. She placed her head on his shoulder, muttering to herself. “He was supposed to beat the odds and not get shot down. He’s done so many missions.” 

“God, Addie, I wish more than anything I wasn’t telling you this news.” Charlie whispered, tightening his arms around her. “The hope is that there were chutes, Addie. We have to hope that he was picked up by the Russians. Rosie’s smart, he’ll do everything he can to get back here.” 

Tears fell from her eyes. She didn’t know how much more heartache she could endure with those that she loved leaving her. Damn the Germans and damn this blasted war. 

My dear Adelaide,

I just realize I don’t often call you that and for that I apologize. I do love your full name. 

I’m writing to you to tell you we have marched. All I know is that we’re near Nuremberg. We marched for a day or so, stuffed us into a brickworks building for the night, then pushed us into train cars for the ride to Nuremberg.  

Addie, baby, I’m scared but I can’t show it. Buck and I have to be strong for the men - they look to us for leadership and while this is difficult, I can’t let them down, not now. But it’s hard and with the Germans not telling us anything, it’s hard to figure out where they’re taking us. I don’t know what lies ahead for us. 

God, Addie. All I wanted to do, since that October was get back to you.  And I don’t know if I’ll ever be home. Know that I’m doing all I can to get home to you, darling. I promise, no matter how many days I have left, that I’m fighting like hell to get home to you. 

I promise I’m coming home, Addie. Right back to you. 

With all my love, 

John

February 6, 1944, 0700 Hours

Sitting in the mess hall, she sipped her coffee, attempting to fight off a yawn. She hadn’t been sleeping well the last few days, Josie sat across from her fighting off the same sleepiness. 

Sighing grumpily, she swallowed a gulp of coffee, her eyes trailed around the somewhat busy mess hall. There was a mission going on that morning, but she was surprised by how busy it was. There were two tables up the way from her and Josie’s table filled with men happily joking and teasing each other. Usually, Addie and Josie would be seated at those tables but this morning, between the anxiety of waiting for news on Rosie and the sleepiness, her and Josie choose a quieter table away from the crowds. 

“This weather isn’t helping the want to crawl back into bed for the morning.” 

“No, it’s not.” Josie murmured, taking another sip of her coffee. “Are you doing anything important today or could you call off for the day?” 

Shrugging, she bit back another yawn. “Jeffrey is in London so the tower will be quiet. Though, apparently, we’re getting a big mail call so maybe it’ll just be a half day then I can attempt to get some sleep.” 

Whatever Josie was going to say was cut off by the door being thrown open with a pissed off Crosby walking towards Clouter and Blakely’s table. Josie’s eyes went wide as she looked over at Addie. Addie whistled quietly, knowing it was rare for Cros to be pissed off. She watched him stalk up to Clouter, hands on his hips with an angry look on his face. 

“I guess you’ve never flown over Germany without a parachute, huh?” Crosby attempted to catch his breath all while giving Clouter a look of disbelief. 

Clouter chuckled. “Well, I don’t know, Crosby. Have you?” 

What happened next caused both Josie and Addie to gasp. They watched Crosby slam Clouter’s head into his plate of bacon and eggs, holding his head down as he uttered, “Now from here on out, you’re going to keep that equipment hut opened and manned until wheels up plus 30 minutes. Yes, Major?” 

“Yes, Major.” 

Addie watched Crosby stalk out of the mess hut, as if he didn’t just punish someone. Her eyes trailed back to where Blakely was telling the boys to clean up and get a move on. Blakely watched the boys silently leave the mess hall before stopping at the girls’ table. “What was that about?”

“Your guess is as good as ours, Blakely.” Addie raised an eyebrow at him. “I’m guessing the crew didn’t have the equipment they needed to go up. You know Crosby as well as I do - he doesn’t get pissed off very often.” 

 Blakely nodded. “Can you go check up on him? I don’t think he’s doing too good.” 

“None of us are okay, Blakely.” Addie gave him a look. “We’re all on edge waiting for news of Rosie and the boys. But yes, I will finish up here then I’ll go check up on him.” 

Twenty minutes later, pushing back from the table, Addie gave Josie a tight smile before leaving her with two mugs of coffee in her hand. Making her way from the hut, she walked across the way towards the command center, Meatball on her heels. Pushing open the door, she made her way inside, cheerfully greeting everyone good morning, as she walked towards Crosby’s office. 

Setting the mug of coffee on his desk, she leaned against the door, raising an eyebrow. “Brought you some coffee. Want to clue me in on what happened earlier?” 

“Three men showed up at my door, letting me know the equipment hut was locked and they didn’t have parachutes.” Crosby took a long sip of coffee, before raising his eyes to meet hers. “That pissed me off because -” 

Addie cut him off before he could go any further. “You don’t have to say anything, Croz. That pisses me off too and I don’t even have to have you finish your thoughts. You definitely made your point. Blakely wanted me to come check up on you.” 

“I’m fine.” Crosby ran a hand through his hair, sighing loudly. “I called Bill earlier and he told me they still haven’t heard anything about Rosie or the crew.” 

It was Addie’s turn to sigh, shaking her head before taking a sip of her coffee. A cuss escaped her mouth as she was starting to believe, no news was good news in this case. 

“I don’t know how much longer I can hold on to hope, Croz.” Addie whispered softly, turning her sad eyes to him. 

Crosby stood, quickly shaking, taking her mug from her, placing it on the table. He pulled her into a gentle hug, her head dropping to his shoulder. “Don’t lose hope, Addie. It’ll be a sad day on base when that happens. You are helping us all keep going and if you lose hope, what does that say for the rest of us?”

“Croz, I can’t continue to say goodbye.” She whispered, tears falling down her face as she sniffled. “My heart can’t take another goodbye.” 

Crosby sighed. “Please just hold on a bit longer. Rosie is alive, I can feel it and he’ll be coming home to us soon.”

“God, I hope you’re right, Crosby.” She pulled back, wiping her eyes, sighing. “God, I hope you’re right.” 

Dear John, 

Sixteen months - that’s how long it’s been since I’ve hugged, kissed or seen you. I lost it with Crosby the other day - I’m glad you didn’t see the ugly cry I had but I somehow felt better afterwards. 

Rosie went down, John. He went down February 3rd somewhere east of Berlin. Seven chutes were reported but no idea who made it out or where they ended up. It sucks, John. I’m tired of saying goodbyes - I much prefer hellos, though I haven’t had the opportunity to say much of those. 

Anna made a stop on the base. Charlie and her are engaged (finally)! Charlie took her up in Daffodil and proposed to her after a joyride over East Anglia. They’ve promised to wait until you and Elizabeth are home but I've never seen my brother so happy.  Makes me have a bit of hope for the future. 

Tell the boys I send my regards and hellos. Stay warm, John. 

Sending you all my love. 

Addie

February 15, 1945, 1500 Hours

Throwing the tennis ball, she watched Meatball tear off after it. The afternoon had passed slowly, Jeffrey finally telling her to get out.  She knew she was just going through the motions, waiting for the day to end so she could crawl into bed and attempt to settle her mind. But with a thousand and one thoughts, she could never settle to get a good night's sleep. She ended up tossing and turning until another day began. 

Between Jeffrey, Josie, and Crosby, all three were mother henning her. Threats of the infirmary were common, which was the absolute last thing Addie wanted. Most nights she managed four hours of sleep, tossing and turning the other hours away. That past night she had somehow gotten six hours of sleep, and she felt the best she had in the 12 days since Rosie went down. 

Meatball returned to her, sitting at her feet. Reaching down, she grabbed the tennis ball from him before throwing it again. It was a rare sunny day, so most of the men were out and about, enjoying the sunshine and warmer temperatures. 

Hearing a door slam shut, she looked over to see Charlie and Red both leaving the tower. Meatball returned, happily panting as he dropped the ball at her feet. She grimaced, picking up the gross ball. Chucking it, she giggled watching him eagerly take off after it. 

“Addie!” Charlie cheerfully called out as he and Red made their way over to where she stood. “We just got a call from the guard station - Rosie’s back!” 

Her eyes went wide at Charlie’s cheerful call. “What? You’re not joking with me are you?” 

“No, the guard just called and said he was back. He should be pulling up any time.” 

Just as the words left his mouth, she heard the familiar roar of a jeep as it neared them. As it came closer, she saw who was sitting in the passenger seat. Instantly tears clouded her eyes as she saw him grinning as the men ran alongside the jeep. A hand flew to her mouth, a sob tearing from her mouth.  She saw his arm in a sling, but other than that he looked okay. 

Charlie watched his sister break down, more from relief than anger, he guessed. She fell to a crouch as more tears streamed down her face. Charlie stood by helplessly as he knew she had to process what she was feeling but he was glad to see one of her best friends return to base, the grin on his face evident by how Rosie was feeling too. 

As the jeep pulled to a stop, Rosie pushed through the crowd, crouching in front of Addie, reaching tentatively forward to place a hand on her shoulder. Looking up, she saw that it was him in front of him, another sob tearing from her mouth. Rosie chuckled, stood up, tugging her into his arms, hugging her. “I’m so sorry I made you worry, Addie. That was the only thing I was thinking of when I went down.” 

Laughing, she stepped back looking at him. She saw a cut on his cheek but other than that he looked to be safe. She threw her arms back around him, tugging him into another hug as she laughed, emotions all over the place at seeing him safe and sound. “Oh, Rosie, that doesn’t matter now. You’re back!” 

“It’s good to be back, Addie.” He chuckled alongside her, swaying her side to side. 

She pulled back, swiping at her eyes. “God, I’m a mess. But you came back.” 

“I told you I would.” He chuckled. “Shall we have that dinner I promised you 12 days ago?” 

Laughing again, Addie nodded. “We shall, then you’ll tell me what happened over the last 12 days?”

“Of course, Addie. Let me say hello to the men then we’ll go grab dinner.” He promised, stepping away to greet everyone. 

Addie stood off to the side, Meatball by her side, watching proudly. Hellos were much preferred, but her heart stilled. There were three hellos that she wished more than anything she could make - she just had to hold on for a bit longer. 

“Ready?” Rosie stood to the side of her, offering his arm to her. 

Slipping her arm into his, Rosie led her towards the mess hall. Addie smiled, feeling the breeze ruffle her hair. “Good to be back, Rosie?”

“You have no idea, Addie.” He smiled, opening the door to the mess for her, motioning her to head inside. Walking down the aisle, she found an empty table near the back, taking a seat. She smiled, watching Rosie get stopped by the men as they welcomed him back. 

Twenty minutes later, Rosie finally joined her at the table with a grin on his face. “Don’t let me keep you from your fanclub, Rosie.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “Can’t help that everyone wants to welcome me back. Sorry to keep you waiting, though.” 

“They love you, Rosie.” She grinned. “It’s alright. Now tell me about the last few days. Who ended up picking you up?” 

Plates were placed in front of them, Rosie took a quick bite before meeting her eyes. “Russians picked me up as soon as I fell. They set my arm, cleaned me up and got me on a transport to Poland. Let’s just say that whatever the Germans have coming for them, they have it coming.  The things they did, I’ll spare you the horrors Addie.” 

“They will pay, Rosie. The Allies will make them pay.” She murmured, concerned at his attitude. “What can I do, Rosie?” 

He gave her a half smile. “Just sit here with me. Help me remember I’m back, safe and sound.” 

“Done.” She motioned to his plate. “Eat some of that - don’t want your mother yelling at me because I let her baby boy get too skinny.” 

He laughed at that. “God, you meeting my mother. That’ll be the day.” 

“I look forward to it, Rosie.” She chuckled. “You’ll have to meet my father, next time he’s on base. You’ll meet my sister eventually when she gets back. The whole damn family, Rosie. Looking forward to that day.” 

“Same, Addie, same.” He grinned at her, taking a sip of his coffee, sitting easy in his chair. 

Addie smiled. “It sure is good to have you back, Rosie.” 

April 2, 1945, 0900 Hours

Sitting at her desk, Addie shuffled through some papers, looking for something Jeffrey had requested. The slamming of the door caught her attention as she watched Crosby, Red, and Kidd come marching in, a mix of determination and excitement on all of their faces. “Addie, come with us please.” 

Eyes wide, she looked over at Josie, who returned her gaze with her own wide eyes. Pushing away from her desk, she hastily grabbed a pad of paper and a pen before following the men into Jeffrey’s office. 

Jeffrey sat at his desk, reading a piece of paper that she watched Crosby hand him as his eyes widened. “When did you receive this?” 

“Ten minutes ago. Told Red and Kidd and we knew you needed to be aware.” Crosby said, running a hand through his hair, a grin tugging on his lips. “Haven’t even told Addie yet.” 

Looking between the men, she stood tall, not sure why she was even in the room. “Do you need me to take notes on something?” 

“No, we will need you to take a B-17 and do a pick up in Paris.” Jeffrey said, giving her a look. “Do you think you can do that?” 

Addie looked at Jeffrey, mildly amused. “Sir, I don’t know if you know but I can’t exactly go ferry a plane with the ATAs. I’m kinda on their shit list, sir.” 

Jeffrey chuckled at her deadpan explanation. “I’m well aware of what you can and cannot do, Captain Baker. However, this isn’t ATA business.” Jeffrey looked between Addie and the other men in the room. “This is Air Force business and you’re a qualified pilot to go make this run.” 

Not understanding him, Addie tilted her head, puzzlement clearly on her face. She never did have a great poker face. “With all due respect, sir, Kidd is a qualified pilot who could easily do this run. Why me?” 

“This mission is more personal to you rather than Kidd, though I’m sure he will be your co-pilot if you wish.” Jeffrey smiled, looking between her and Kidd. 

Frustration coursed through her. She was blatantly missing something, the other four were clued into. “Will you quit beating around the bush and tell me what this mission is? I feel like I’m missing something.” 

Jeffrey set the piece of paper on the desk, folding his hand, leaning back in his chair to look at Addie. “Gale Cleven escaped from a night march a few weeks ago and managed to run into some American troops and he needs to be picked up. We figured he’d appreciate a familiar face picking him up. Are you up for the flight?” 

“He escaped?” She gasped, immediate tears lining the corners of her eyes. “Any word on the others?” 

Crosby shook his head. “We didn’t hear anything about anyone else. Just Buck - he and another escapee ran into American forces in Germany. They flew him to Paris, did a full checkup on him then we got the call a bit ago.”

“When can I go get him?” Addie asked, biting her lip, attempting to keep the tears of relief from falling.  As happy as she was for Buck’s escape, she still worried about Bucky and him staying behind. 

Looks were exchanged between Jeffrey, Crosby, Red, and Kidd before Jeffrey looked at her. “Wheels up in an hour - you’re going straight to Paris, landing at the base, then coming straight back here - no stops. There and back. You’ll be on the ground for less than an hour, but you know what to bring, just in case. Bring your flight book and your ATA stuff.” 

“Yes sir. Can I go by myself?” She asked, looking between the men. “I’ll have a co-pilot on the way back.” 

Jeffrey gave her a long look. “You sure you don’t want someone to go with you? I’ll give the Paris base a heads up but not sure how they’re going to react with a female pilot landing on their base.” 

“It wouldn’t be the worst place I’ve landed.” She smirked, shaking her head. “Give them the heads up and I’ll go get my things. If they give you a hard time, let me know and I’ll bring someone. But if they don’t, then I go by myself.” 

“I will meet you on the hard stand and will let you know what they say.” Jeffrey gave her a look as she quickly saluted. 

Without another word, she turned and headed out of Jeffrey’s office. Stopping by Josie’s desk, she let the tears that she had held back finally fall. Collapsing into Josie’s arms, she cried for a few minutes. “Buck escaped, Josie. I’m going to Paris to pick him up and bring him home.” 

“He did?” Josie gasped, hugging her friend tighter. “Any word on anyone else?” 

Shaking her head, Addie sighed. “Just Buck made the escape. Jeffrey is calling the Paris base to let them know I’m coming. If they don’t protest, I get to go by myself to get him. If they complain, I’ve got to take a co-pilot with me. “ 

“Promise me you’ll be safe - we’re so close Addie.” Josie whispered, hugging her tighter. 

Nodding, Addie promised. “I’ve got to go get my things. Will you get Charlie out to the hardstand - if I have to take a co-pilot, I want it to be him, rather than anyone else.” 

Walking out of the tower behind her, Josie promised she would get Charlie before the two walked different ways.  Addie quickly grabbed her gear, luckily never unpacked it from her last unexpected mission before walking out, Meatball by her side. “Wish you could go with us buddy, but I’ll be back before you know it. Josie will watch you while I’m gone.” 

Taking her time to walk out to the hard stand, she felt a few different emotions. On one hand, she was happy that Buck was making his way home. But at the same time, her heart hurt that Bucky didn’t get to make the escape with his best friend. She was worried how he was holding up without Buck by his side. 

Sighing, she crouched down, giving Meatball pats and scratches. Kissing his head, she gave him a few more scratches, standing up with a smile before continuing her way to the hard stand. Stopping to Jeffrey’s left, she gave him a look. “I’m guessing the French aren’t happy with a female pilot?” 

“Unfortunately, they will probably make a fuss so pick someone to be your co-pilot, at least.” Jeffrey gave her a look. “We don’t want to cause trouble, especially when it could come back on you and Buck.” 

Addie groaned but nodded. “I want Charlie to come with me - can you spare him for a few hours?” 

“The boys will be glad to have the morning off. Does he know you want him to tag along?” Jeffrey asked, as she started doing her preflight checks on the B-17 in front of her “Mike”. 

“Josie was going to grab him as I gathered my stuff.” She smirked. “She may or may not have told him what she needed him for. I’ll make sure he’s aware before we take off.” 

Jeffrey laughed, shaking his head. “You know, I shouldn’t let siblings fly together but hell, you two would probably take off regardless of what I say.” 

“That may or may not happen, but you’re probably right.” She smirked, watching Josie and Charlie make their way to the hard stand.  “About time you got here.” 

Charlie gave her a look. “All Josie told me is that you’re flying to Paris and might need a co-pilot.” 

Addie smirked at Jeffrey’s. “See he’s all caught up - can we head out now?” 

“Go for it - make sure he knows what’s going on before you touch down in Paris.” Jeffrey gave the two of them a look. “Remember, no more than an hour on the ground.” 

Addie and Charlie both saluted before they made their way into the B-17 to finish pre-flight checks. Addie took the pilot’s seat, leaving the co-pilot’s seat to her brother. Final checks were quickly done before Addie radioed the tower for take-off instructions. 

Soon, the B-17 was airbound, Addie grinning at her brother. “So why are we heading to Paris?” 

“Buck escaped on a night march and ended up in Paris. We’re going to pick him up and bring him home.” Addie sighed, running a hand through her hair. 

Charlie looked over at his sister, that sigh was a bit heavy. “You doing okay?” 

“Glad Buck made the escape but sad John and Elizabeth are still POWs.” She grimaced. “Just wish it was them that we were going to pick up too. It’s been too damn long since I’ve seen him - almost a year and a half.” 

Charlie nodded, not even attempting to comprehend what his sister was feeling. “I wish I could tell you the war is almost over but only the damn Germans know that. But it has to be coming to an end eventually.” 

“We can only hope.” She whispered, watching the landscape change as they flew over the channel into French soil. 

Charlie stayed quiet, obeying Addie’s commands as she kept an eye on their altitude and distance. “We’re nearing Paris - can you radio into the tower for landing instructions?” 

She heard Charlie call over, asking for the instructions, which were quickly relayed back to them. Before long, the wheels were down and the plane landed with a gentle bump. Taxiing down the runway, she guided the plane onto a hard stand, nearest to the huts. Turning off the engines, she radioed the tower, letting them know who they were there to pick up. The tower radioed back that a jeep would be out there soon with the man. 

“You staying up here or coming out?” Addie asked, unbuckling with a big grin on her face. 

Charlie shook his head. “You go greet him. I’ll stay up here and let you bombard him.” 

With a mock salute, she made her way through the belly before swinging out. Dropping out of the hatch, she caught her balance before watching a jeep make its way from one of the huts onto the runway.  Tears welled up in her eyes as she watched it come closer to her. Eighteen months without one of her best friends and suddenly, he was mere feet away from her. 

The jeep’s brakes squealed as it came to a stop, but Addie didn’t mind that. Her eyes had landed on Buck Cleven - a sight for sore eyes. “Gale Cleven!” 

His head snapped up hearing his voice, looking up to see a crying, grinning Addie standing near the plane. Hopping out of the jeep, he quickly thanked his driver before making his way over to the plane. He quickly pulled Addie into a strong hug, tears flowing from both of their eyes. “You’re a sight for sore eyes, Addie.”

“So are you, Buck.” She hugged him back tightly. “Almost, welcome home. It’s good to see you.” 

Buck sighed. “It’s weird to be back. I’m sorry Bucky wasn’t able to make the run with me.” 

“He okay?” She asked, running her pointer finger under her cheeks, attempting to catch the tears that had fallen. 

Buck pulled back, looking at his best friend’s girl. “He was the last one, insisting I go first. A German soldier caught him, just as he was about to make the run. He yelled at me to go, leaving him behind. God, Addie, I wish it was him standing here instead of me.” 

“He would say the same thing, if he was standing here.” She gave him a long look. “I’m glad you are safe and sound, Buck. Ready to head back to Thorpe?” 

He sighed, a sad smile on his face. “I guess you’re my pilot home?” 

“You guessed right - so much for never flying with me again.” She teased, giggling, watching Buck’s eyes go wide. “It’s a big bird so I can’t barrel roll it. Besides, Charlie is up in the yolk so he’ll keep me on the straight and narrow.” 

Buck laughed, shaking his head. “Thank goodness for Charlie keeping you in line.” 

“Hey, Addie?” Pausing, she heard the hesitation in his voice. Turning, she gave him a look as he held a piece of paper out to her. “From John. He gave it to me when we first started marching, just in case something happened, or he wasn’t able to escape with us. He wanted me to have something to give to you.” 

A few more tears fell, as she accepted the paper. Tucking it into John’s jacket, she smiled. “Thank you, Buck. Let’s get you home.” 

She motioned him to go up as she walked around the plane, inspecting it for pre-flight checks. Before long she was in the belly of the plane, hearing Charlie and Buck talk. “Do you two want to fly us home? I’m perfectly fine being a passenger princess.” 

“Addie, get your butt up here. Buck and I were just catching up.” Charlie called back as she made her way up to the cockpit. “Buck, where are you going to hang out?” 

“Navigator’s desk. Never been down here during a flight.” Buck replied as Addie snickered. 

Charlie gave his sister a look. “Buck’s been a pilot since day one. When would he have been down in the nose?”

“She’s not wrong.” Buck chuckled as Addie started up the engines. 

Before long they were airborne, Buck asking questions about the base and what life had been like since they were away. “Wait, Buck, how’s Elizabeth doing? Did she attempt the run with you?” 

“We tried to get her to run with us but there's a few men she was looking after that had pretty serious injuries. She refused to leave them.” She could hear the grin in the Major’s voice. 

“Gale, what aren’t you telling us?” Addie asked, eyes scanning the horizon as she attempted to pull the details from one of her best friends. 

Buck laughed. “It’s all good - I promise. We don’t know much but pretty sure your sister is sweet on Brady. Those two were thick as thieves in the stalag and they spent a lot of time together.” 

“Brady, huh? Didn’t see that one coming.” Addie mused. “How was she otherwise?” 

Buck sighed. “Much like you, Addie, always positive and happy go lucky. Rarely did I not see a smile on her face. She always brightened our spirits and checked in on us daily. Most of the guys wouldn’t have made it through that ordeal without her.”

Sighing, she shook her head. “Well, we’re happy you’re back Buck. There may be a welcoming crew waiting for you on the tarmac when we return.” 

“What did you do, Addie?” 

Feigning innocence, Addie chuckled. “I didn’t do a thing, Buck.” 

“Don’t let her fool you, she wouldn’t stop telling people you were coming home. And she only had an hour between when she found out and when we flew out.” Charlie chuckled. 

Addie smacked her brother’s shoulder, chuckling. “It’s the returning of men that makes this whole idea of war worth it. Don’t fault me for being excited that after 18 months, Buck is back with us, safe and sound.”

She paused, knowing she would have to ask about one other man, just for the sake of her friend. “Buck, how’s DeMarco? You know he’s been writing to Josie but if anything happened to him, can you tell me?”

“DeMarco is fine, Addie or at least he was when I left. He was with Alex and Macon when I left. I know they were planning their own escape but I don’t know if they even attempted.” Buck replied back with a wearily sigh. 

Nodding, there wasn’t anything else she could say. Looking over at Charlie, she smiled sadly. “Can you radio to the tower for landing instructions?” 

Soon enough, they were on the ground, pulling the B-17 onto a hard stand, shutting off the engine. “Go on Buck, it’s you they want to see, not us.” 

“I highly doubt that, Addie.” Buck laughed but she heard the hatch open as she completed her landing checklist. 

Soon, she made her way out of the plane to see Buck surrounded by men as they welcomed him back. Charlie dropped down beside her with a chuckle. “Good to see him back on base.” 

“You don’t know how good, Charlie.” She sighed. “Gives me hope for John and Elizabeth to return.” 

2030 Hours 

Leaving the Officer’s Club, with Meatball by her side, she felt the crinkle of the paper in her coat pocket. In all the excitement, she had forgotten the letter that Buck had given her before they returned to England. 

Making her way onto the tarmac and the lone fort that was sitting there, she stumbled on the uneven terrain before collapsing against the wheel. It was still light enough that she could make out the messy handwriting on the paper in front of her. Meatball laid down beside her, his head on her lap, sighing as she felt him relax. 

My darling Adelaide, 

If you’re reading this, that means Buck made the escape and he’s back in Thorpe by your side. I’m sorry, darling, I didn’t make the escape with Buck. But I’m happy he’s safe and back with you. 

Addie, take care of yourself, please? Tell me something funny - I cannot wait to hear all the stories that you couldn’t put into writing. We have a lot of catching up to do when I get back - you’ll probably talk my ear off with all the news. And honestly, I cannot wait. Spending time in our field, just the two of us, catching up sounds like a pretty good way to spend a few hours. 

I’m not sure where we are but the men are safe and sound. We march for about 8 hours a day. Rest before doing night marches. I think the Germans want to stay ahead of the Allies so night marches are more common than we want them to be. We’re being gunned down by our own forces. 

I hope the ending is near. And if that’s the case, I cannot wait to be back in your arms. Counting down the days until I get to see you again. 

Love you always and forever, 

John

Leaning against the wheel, she sighed, tucking the paper back into her jacket. Carting her hand through Meatball’s fur, trying to calm herself down. Closing her eyes, she let her head fall against the wheel. Her heart hurt for Bucky - he lost his best friend when Buck successfully got out, leaving him behind. Addie knew how close the two were but for Bucky to be left behind, trying to be a leader for his men, despite the unknown. She couldn’t imagine how much he was hurting and scared. Despite not making the run with Buck, he attempted to be upbeat in his letter to her. How much of a brave face had he put on for the men while he was scared himself? She wishes she could just wrap him up in her arms and hug him close. 

Soon, she vowed. Soon they would be reunited and she wouldn’t let him out of her sights any time soon. 

Hearing footsteps on the tarmac caused her to open her eyes. She pushed a smile forward as Meatball pushed off her to go greet the man walking closer to her. Watching the dog and man walk closer to her, she pushed herself to her feet. “Thought I’d find you out here - could never get too far away from the Big Birds, huh, Addie?” 

“Nothing’s changed, Buck.” She grinned as he shook his head, sighing. 

“Everything’s changed, Addie.” He gave her a look, scratching his jaw. 

Nodding, she bit her lip, scanning his face for any distress or worry. “As much as I wish it didn’t, time keeps moving on. How are you, Buck? Truly.” 

“It’s weird being back - everything about me has changed. But yet the base is the same, or at least looks the same.” He scanned the area surrounding them. “But part of me feels left behind, I should still be with Bucky and the boys.” 

Addie’s heart broke for him. “Buck, you know as well as I do that Bucky would have wanted you here, where you’re supposed to be. I’m sure it was hard to leave him behind but you got out. Now, talk to me - about anything or nothing in particular, but you have that look on your face that you need to talk.” 

“If we’re going to talk, then we need to be somewhere warm and sitting down.” Buck gave her a look, smiling slightly. 

Addie chuckled. “Luckily, I know just the place and we won’t be interrupted. C’mon.” 

Throwing an arm around his waist, Buck threw his arm around her shoulder, tugging her close. The two, with Meatball trailing behind them, walked over to the mess hut. Just as Addie predicted, it was quiet when she threw open the door and motioned him to go in.  They found a table near the back before settling in.

Smiling at the waiter, Addie quietly asked for two mugs of coffee, which were quickly deposited on the table as Addie gave Buck a look. “It’s just me and you - whatever you want to talk about.” 

“Did Lemmons tell you anything about the day that DeMarco and I went down?” Buck started, taking a sip of coffee. 

Nodding, Addie cupped her hands around the mug. “John and I weren’t talking after we returned from London. He wasn’t speaking to me, focused on going up and avenging you going down. Lemmons found us asleep in John’s fort and pulled me aside to tell me it was a magneto issue and that he had to ride the wheel to fix it. He needed reassurance that wasn’t the reason you went down.” 

“I spoke with him this afternoon and made sure he knew it wasn’t. It was the damn flak that blew two engines and we went down. I ended up with a pitchfork to my neck as a farmer wasn’t too keen that I flew in through his backdoor.” Buck explained with a laugh. 

He went on to talk about being picked up by the Germans and the interrogation that followed. “He knew almost everything about me - as if he was reading my personnel file. He knew about Bucky and your name was brought up too. I had to remind myself to keep my anger in check. After I kept repeating my name, rank, and serial number, they soon got tired of me and threw me back in my cell. Woke us up in the middle of the night and marched us to the Stalag. I was the first of the boys to show up. Few days later, DeMarco shows up along with a few of the other boys. About a week after that, John shows up with a busted eye and ribs. Never have I been so relieved to see him, despite wishing he was far, far away from that place. We were separated for four months before they threw me into his bunk with the rest of the boys.” 

Taking a deep breath, he sighed, taking another sip of coffee. “It was about 6 months after that when Elizabeth showed up to camp. I had seen her come into camp and told Bucky. At first he thought it was you that we were talking about until I mentioned that it was Elizabeth. We all took her under our wing and made sure she was okay. Her and Bucky immediately got along - almost a bit too well. Within an hour of her being in the bunk, she slugged him for proposing to you in a letter.” 

Addie smiled sadly. “As much as it hurt for you all to be away, I was glad you all had one another, instead of being alone.”

“You weren’t far from our thoughts at any time.” Buck whispered. “Your letters kept us and the other guys going. With not a lot to keep us occupied, we looked forward to mail day - always loved hearing about the coming and going of the base, including what Meatball was up to.”

She chuckled. “I always hated getting your letters as much of it would be crossed out by the sensors - always had to attempt to piece together what you all were talking about. I still don’t know what much of it means but as long as the letters kept coming, I didn’t care. That meant you all were safe.” 

Reaching over, Buck grabbed her hand, giving it a squeeze. “I can’t thank you enough for writing Marge - that meant more to me than you’ll ever know, Addie.” 

“I figured I was one of a handful of people who knew what she was feeling.” Addie squeezed his hand back. “We’re friends now so there’s no hope for you or John. She’s a sweetheart and she’s lucky to have you, Gale. Did you get the chance to send her a telegram?” 

Shaking his head, Buck sighed. “Not yet. I’ll do that tomorrow morning. What should I tell her?” 

“That you’re safe and back at Thorpe’s. That’s all she’s been waiting to hear.” Addie bit her lip. “That’s all we’ve been waiting to hear for 18 months, Buck. Maybe, tell her you love her too, that might be a good thing too.” 

Buck laughed. “Thank you, Addie.” 

“For what?” 

“For keeping the hope alive that we’d make it. For writing to us, Marge. For coming to pick me up.” Buck raised an eyebrow. “For everything.” 

Sighing, she ran a hand through her hair. “It was what kept me going. Knowing that I need to keep you updated on everything going on here, well as much as I could tell you. Now we just need to wait for Elizabeth and John to come home, then all will be right in the world.” 

Pushing back from the table, a yawn escaped his mouth. She stood, slapping her thigh to gain Meatball’s attention. “Oh, one more thing that Bucky made me promise to tell you.” 

She stopped, raising an eyebrow at him. “He told me that he can’t wait to see you in a white dress. He also told me to give you a giant hug from him.” 

And with that, he tugged her into a hug, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, with a gentle squeeze. “He’ll be back soon, Addie, and all this crap would have been worth it.” 

“Holding you to that, Buck.” She smiled, her heart somewhat lighter with his words and hug. 

8,000+ words and chapter 16 is posted. Please let me know what you think. We are almost to the end. I'm planning on positing extra tidbits that had to be cut or I didn't end up using after the story is done. If there's something you'd like to see, just send me a message or leave a comment. Feedback would be much appreciated.

Chapter 17

[shc2c]

The Mysterious Case of Sonic Movie 3 Marketing

An Op-Ed by Malzilla

Let me say this right off the bat, I am not an expert in marketing. I took Marketing classes in college for my business minor but most of it was pretty entry level but it gave me a solid foundation to understand most companies' marketing plans. Or at least try to see the method or goal behind the madness to get a scope of what they’re trying to do. But Paramount’s treatment of Sonic 3 is bizarre. We got toys, plushies etc out in stores before the first trailer. 

Sonic Movie 3 has me utterly baffled. Because here we are exactly four months/120 days (122 days at the time of this writing) and do far zip zilch nada. 

The last OFFICIAL news we got for the movie was back on Feb 2nd when the twitter released a little teaser showing the logo as well as some of the additional human cast members. Sure Jon Campea on his Podcast YT show announced that Keanu would play Shadow and was pretty much confirmed by official Hollywood outlets in April but no official word from Paramount has been given. They’ve been radio silent for months know, save for a few weeks in April to promote the Knuckles TV show

So why the wait? Some folks I have talked to may think there may be some internal stuff going on, but I doubt it. Yes Paramount is getting ready to merge with Skydance and some layoffs have happened but I don’t think that would affect much of the Sonic movie day to day. 

So here we are at four months till release and we’re all wondering “It’s go time right? RIGHT?” 

I would think so. And so has the rest of the Sonic Fandom. But alas we’re still waiting for the green light to go. So when is that green light coming? 

Soon.

I hope.

Honestly, I don’t know. But looking at two other films marketing that run some parallels to S3 as well as some key dates in the next  four months. I'm going to throw some ideas out there. 

First off let's look at the marketing on Sonic 2. Movie was released April 8th 2022, and its first official trailer was released on Dec 9th at the 2021 VGAs (it also had a poster released the day prior on the 8th). So right at the four month mark. They followed up with some TV spots and a special Pre Super Bowl TV spot in February AND then the final Trailer March 14th. So a fairly dense four month marketing campaign. 

The other film to look at is Spider-man No Way Home, which like Sonic 3 had a December release date. NWH after months of rumors and lack of promotion (sound familiar) debuted its first teaser trailer on August 23rd 2021; roughly four months prior to its Dec 17th release date. It also had another final trailer on Nov 16th; roughly one month prior. 

So if we look at both of them we see a very similar four month marketing campaign. So what does that mean for Sonic 3? Let's work backward from the release date till now. The following are dates of significance, IMO to both Paramount, Pop/Nerd/Game culture etc: 

Dec 20th - Release Date 

The Long Wait will be over and we all bask in the Living and Learning of it all 

Nov 28th - Thanksgiving - Possible 2nd Trailer.

Given that Paramount has put Sonic TV spots before Football games before, I would not be surprised if we got the 2nd Trailer during Half Time of the CBS game that airs in the morning of Thanksgiving. This also aligns with the roughly 1 month prior benchmark as seen with both S2 and NWH. 

NYCC Oct 17th-20th - TV Spots/Behind the Scenes/Movie Clip

While this date kinda is little too soon for a second trailer, it would be a great time to bring out the whole cast and do some promotion with the masses and maybe some TV spots or a small clip. 

Transformers One Release Sep 20th - PONR for First Trailer 

I think I can safely say that the absolute LATEST we can expect a trailer for Sonic 3 would nex month with the release of Transformers One. Paramount would have to be utterly brainless NOT to have a trailer for Sonic playing in front of their other Family Nerd Oriented IP.

Gamescom 2024 Oct 20h - 25th - Trailer Release 

Kinda funny how the Opening Night Ceremony for Gamescom just so happens to fall on both the four month till release mark AND a Tuesday (Paramount usually releases trailers on Tues/Thurs)? We KNOW SEGA will be there with more SonicXShadow Generations, but really the movies are more Paramount’s game than SEGAs so there is no guarantee it will be released. BUT Paramount has passed on both Summer Game Fest AND San Diego Comic Con. Everything seems aligned for a reveal on Tuesday. I guess we’ll know if we get a poster revealed  tomorrow. 

Now personally I would have started ramping up the marketing with SDCC. Because right now the two biggest competitors that Sonic 3 is going to have in Dec are Kraven and Mufassa. And both of these movies have had TWO trailers released for it.  With Kraven it makes sense since it was originally supposed to be released back in 2023 but then got pushed back 3 times. So I guess Sony thinks it can rack up a solid week one before the family holiday push. Mufassa on the other hand is going to be the big one to beat as family’s will no doubt flock to the much anticipated origin of Mufasa! That last part was sarcasm but this part is not: they need to get the word out to the casuals. I’ve talked to a lot of Non Sonic who are genuinely excited to see Keanu play Shadow. And the time is right to get them hooked. 

So in the end, I will say that I’m like Jon Snow and I “know nothing” but I do know we're getting to the point where it’s time for paramount to lace up its sneakers and get going. Whether it's this week or the next or maybe till the opening of Transformers One. But I would recommend Paramount not dilly dally. Sonic Fans are easily frustrated and can turn rabid quickly. 

[hiimkay]

Christmas Break (Imagine)

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x f!character (I wrote this one in 3rd person!)

Word Count: 1.9k words

Summary: Price releases 141 for a holiday break and Ghost hasn't celebrated any holiday in a long time.

Warnings: fluff, mentions of childhood trauma and resurfaced negative feelings surrounding holidays

I hope you enjoy this one, I know it's February and I'm posting a story about Christmas but I like to think it's never to late (or early) for a little bit of Christmas spirit! I also think this is one of my favorite Ghost stories so far... hahah.... HAHAHAHA see what I did there? Sorry.

When Price released the Task Force for a small Christmas break, everyone was ecstatic. It had been months since any of them had a quiet moment at home and everyone was practically bouncing off the walls. None of them could wait to get home and celebrate the holiday off of work. Well, none except for Ghost.

Holidays were not something he celebrated, half the time he forgot his own birthday until someone wished him a happy birthday or asked him how old he was turning. Usually it was Price, since only few knew enough about him to know when his birthday even was. He had planned to just return to his apartment and spend some time to himself like every year before, but since Y/N had no family to celebrate with, she invited him to at least have dinner with her. He considered refusing, but the way her eyes lit up at the thought of having company had his mouth moving faster than his mind.

When he got to her small home, he took in how perfectly her it was. Even covered in a layer of snow, he could see the light green siding and the beautifully carved wooden door just begging him to come inside. Again, he contemplated turning around and cancelling, even went so far as to think of an excuse for why he couldn't make it, but when she opened the front door with a smile and waved to him he knew he was stuck.

Clad in a warm grey sweater and black leggings, she looked completely normal. She looked like any other woman celebrating the holidays and it made his heart ache. Half of him longed for even a sliver of normalcy, the other half knew it was impossible. But just once, just today, he could suffer through it for her.

He slowly entered the house and immediately felt the warmth of the furnace. As he kicked his boots off, he was hit with the mouth-watering scent of whatever she was cooking. It had been a while since he'd had a full blown holiday meal, or anything more than basic ten-minute foods. He never had a reason to cook large meals, it was only him and there was no sense in leftovers when he wouldn't be home to eat them. He hung his coat on one of her hooks and removed his balaclava slowly. She smiled at him warmly as he hung it beside his coat.

"Welcome home, Simon." She always made a point to call him by his name when he took his mask off. It had been weird to him at first, but now it made him feel at ease. "I hope you like ham, it's what my grandmother always made for Christmas and it just feels weird to make anything else."

"Ham is fine," he said, stepping further into the house. There weren't many decorations about since she hadn't been home long, but he did notice the small three foot tall Christmas tree sitting quaint in the corner of her living room. There was one gift underneath it and he wondered if maybe someone had sent her something.

"I hope the drive wasn't too bad, we got more snow than they said we would and I haven't been out today."

"It was alright, a bit slick but manageable." She smiled again, pulling the oven door open to check the ham.

"Good, I'm glad. To be honest, I was expecting you to be a little late so it might not be ready for a little bit longer. Then again, I should know by now that you're never late." Her chuckle bounced softly off the walls of her kitchen. "How do you feel about Christmas movies? I've been watching the Grinch to try and pass the time, and I can't stand to watch the news when I'm supposed to be taking a break from work." He shrugged.

"I could take them or leave them."

"I figured you'd say that. Please, go sit down. I can make you a cup of tea if you'd like?"

"That would be nice, thank you." He moved back into the living room, sitting down on the couch stiffly. Even on the outskirts of town like this, he still felt like he couldn't completely relax. He felt like he didn't belong in such a comforting home, and he felt the weight of his past tapping on his shoulder like an old friend. His leg bounced up at down as he sat there, hearing but not listening to the movie playing on the tv in front of him. Once again, he felt like getting up and leaving. He felt like giving Y/N some excuse about not feeling well and heading back to his apartment.

Just as his heart began to pound, Y/N appeared beside him with a steaming cup.

"Here we go. It's Earl Grey, I hope that's alright. And it's still pretty hot so I'd let it sit for a minute unless you want to burn your tastebuds off before you get the chance to see how absolutely delicious this dinner is about to be." She chuckled, moving to take a seat on the opposite end of the couch. Just before she sat, though, she glanced up at the Christmas tree and shot straight back up. "Oh, I almost forgot!" She crossed the room, kneeling down and picking up the wrapped gift beneath the tree.

Ghost watched her silently, wondering why she'd want to open her gift while he was there. She could've opened it this morning, she didn't have to wait for him. It started to sink in how different she was at home from how she was at work. She was a hardened soldier when she needed to be, and a welcoming young woman when she wanted to be. He'd hate to admit it, but it made him feel more comfortable to see that she still had a soft side after having gone through so much.

"Now, I know you don't care for Christmas and I know you really don't like getting gifts, but I couldn't help myself. It's not much, and I tried really hard to find something practical since I know you're not one for trinkets or useless gags, but please… open it…" She held out the gift for him, sitting down beside him with a child-like grin on her face. He trailed his eyes from the gift and up her extended arm to her face.

"I… I can't-"

"Simon, please! I promise you don't have to keep it if you hate it and no hard feelings either, but it's Christmas. I couldn't just not get you anything." He didn't realize his hand was shaking until he reached out to grab the gift from her.

All those years as a child, no gifts, no tree, no big fancy dinners. Just yelling and swearing and anger. Holidays were hell, and he had been content in forgetting about them all together. Such a drastic change for him was hard to process. She released the gift into his grasp and waited patiently, but he didn't move. He just stared down at his hand, frozen in place. She knew some things about his past, not all of it but enough, and a wave of guilt washed over her.

"Oh… oh no, I'm so sorry, Simon. I didn't mean to upset you, you don't have to open it if you don't want to." She watched him swallow, waiting for him to get upset with her or storm out the front door without a word.

He looked at the sticker on the front of the gift, his name written neatly in the To: space. He had never gotten a gift just for him. He had never had his name written out with so much care.

"Simon…?" She called quietly, hoping to break him from his thoughts without angering him.

"I… I'm sorry, I just-" he paused, an uncomfortable feeling in his chest and a burning sensation in his nose clouding his thoughts. "I want to open it, I…" She scooted toward him just an inch or so.

"Maybe it sounds childish, but we could open it together if that'll help?" He turned his head up to look at her and she tilted her head slightly, offering a comforting smile. He didn't respond, but he didn't flinch away when she reached her hand out toward him. She grabbed the other end of the gift and slowly began to tear away at the paper, letting out a nearly silent breath when he did the same.

He glanced over the small pocket-sized leather notebook, taking in the north star compass stamped into the front cover. Clipped to the top edge was an ink pen and a small note that read Merry Christmas, Simon. Write your heart out, XX.

"I, uh, thought it would be a nice little companion for you. You could write stuff about each mission you go on, or keep a log of something, just some ideas. It's yours though, so I guess you get to use it however you see fit," she said. "Oh, and that pen, I remembered that time we were doing After Action Reports and you said the pen you were using was the nicest pen you've ever used, so I thought you'd like one to keep on you."

He was silent. If he were honest, he had completely forgotten about that stupid pen. But hearing her say that she had remembering him liking it struck a chord in him.

"I know it's not much, and like I said you don't have to take it if you don't want it…" He shook his head, flipping through the empty pages mindlessly.

"I didn't bring you anything…" He mumbled, tucking the small note inside the front cover.

"Oh, Simon, that never even crossed my mind. You don't have to get me anything, y'know. I just thought of you when I saw that notebook."

"You thought of me?" He asked, setting the notebook down next to his cup of tea.

"I think about you a lot, honestly. I feel like I can find a part of you everywhere I go, and that makes me feel better whenever I go out by myself." Her phone starts to ring on the coffee table and she stands up. "Oh, the ham should be done! I'll be right back." As she scurries off into the kitchen, Ghost sits forward, leaning his elbows against his knees. For the first time today, he doesn't feel like running away. For the first time in a while, he feels like staying put. For the first time ever, he feels truly comfortable. With that, tears begin to fall from his heavy blue eyes.

She would never know that the child inside of him still begging for an ounce of care finally felt full. What he had never been given as a small boy, she had just flooded him with it. And he liked it. It scared him, though, and he was afraid of both leaning into it and running away from it. Either way, he was screwed, but he had to chose which kind of screwed he'd rather be.

"Okay Simon, you can come make your plate!" She called out, bringing him back to the present moment. He wiped his eyes carefully and took a sip of his tea before standing up and moving to the kitchen to enjoy the sliver of normalcy she had unknowingly gifted him.