#but also being around him when he's like that isn't good for me like it literally attacks my psyche LOL
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To The Devil I Know
dbf!joel miller x younger!reader
summary: your infamous girl's trip with your best friend sarah gets crashed by his overprotective dad. but what is the perfect way to leash all your anger out?
warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap, smut, p. in v., fingering, oral (m. and f. receiving), brat taming, it's pussy spanking time again bc i do in fact like it a lot, praise/daddy kink sprinkled somewhere, reader calls him mr. miller A LOT, exhibition kink (v nasty), degradation kink (he calls her little slut), pantie sniffing (joel's kind of a perv, ay), dirty talk (they have a sentence awaiting in horny jail), y/n grinds on joel's nose bc yeah i too want that, this is contradicting but lwk sub!joel bc that man's touch starved as HELL, may do a part two idk pls give it love, dad!bod joel bc i say so (yummy), no angst (wtf dilf-docs? the angst gods are so pissed off rn)
word count: 7,195 words
side note: this request got me HOOKED the moment i opened it and since i'm currently on a pedro hyperfixiation rn, we need to put the mental illness to good use. also, this is lwk based on the song by suki waterhouse devil i know! :) i'm seeing that i have two joel fics with devil in the title btw something something abt nickels and not being a lot but weird it happened twice also WE HIT 300 FOLLOWERS??? (and its 1am and i have to wake up at 4am is anyone surprised atp...)
"Sarah!" you shout, "get your ass out here you looser!"
It's probably eight in the morning, and here you are, honking and shouting in the middle of the quiet calm suburbs.
When you spot her curly head running towards you in a rush, you know she's pissed.
"Stop screaming!" she shouts back, "my neighbours will hate me"
You've known Sarah since you were kids. When you first moved to Texas, she was the only one who spoke to you in school. You grew up with her among white picket fences and scrapped knees, mantaining the friendship even as you moved away, until your return for college.
"Why would I even care? I don't live here!" you joke from the driver's seat, hopping off and giving her a hug. "I'm sorry but I can't help it. I'm just so excited for this trip, we've been planning it for ages!"
You keep talking excitedly about your plans, not noticing how her face falls.
"Yeah, about that..."
"You girls ready?" a third voice enters the picture, definitely not belonging to a girl.
"Uh, Sarah" you breath in, "Why the fuck is your dad here?"
In all his glory: Joel Miller, a guy you haven't seen in forever, too busy living in the dorms, girl dates with Sarah often out of her house. You wanted to explore the world: you weren't ten anymore, and the suburbs lost all of it's appeal they had when you were the age of Barbies and drawing on chalk.
"Listen, y/n. I tried, I really tried. But as soon as I opened my mouth, he started to pack his bags"
"Isn't your dad always busy at work?" you inquire, another one of the reasons Joel's face isn't a fresh memory in your head.
"That's part of the problem. He took all of the pending vacations he had at once" she sighs, sounding as dissapointed as you are. "I understand if you don't want to go"
"Are you being serious right now?" you chuckle dryly. "No, absolutely not. I saved for this trip, packed my favorite outfits and aced all my classes so my parents would allow me. Nothing is going to ruin this for me: not you, not your dad. So we'll go and we'll have all the fun we planned, yeah?" you express firmly, holding her hands. "We will have our girl summer, no matter what. Even if we have to ignore the elephant in the room..."
"Did you just call me fat?"
You turn around, and there he is: the uninvited. Joel Miller's aged face stands before you, strong arms flexing under the pressure of a couple of suitcases.
"No" you reply back, "just a nuissance"
He chuckles at your response, amused. "If you thought I'd let my babygirl go alone with you to the beach and get shit-faced drunk, you're not as smart as I remember, y/n"
Your name would always be on his tongue to call you out. Y/n, don't do that. Y/n apologize to the neighbours. Y/n, slow down. Y/n, don't be so stubborn. You were always a troublemaker, and his lips would only know how to pronounce your name if to berate you. But now, as his mouth says your name with a newly learned tone, dripping with dare and amusement, you can't help but feel a fire ignite that burns your skin.
"Dad!" Sarah calls out, taking you out of your thoughts. She flushes in embarrasment, and you scoff at the idea of giving too much of your time to think about Mr. Miller of all people. "I'm not ten anymore, we'll be just fine"
"You're barely of legal age!" he counters back. "What if somethin' was to happen to you, huh? I'd never forgive myself"
You get annoyed at his over-the-top reactions. What did he think you were gonna do? The wildest thing you had in mind was getting drunk while sitting in the sand. Not even in the water! You may be a wild spirit, but stupid you're not.
"Look, Mr. Miller" he cocks his head to the side, daringly so, almost as if waiting for you to try. "I don't know what you're thinking, but this isn't Driveway Dolls" he looks at you confused, so you try again, "Or Thelma and Louise, whatever suits your fucking old ass. Alright? This is a girls trip, heard that? Just two bestfriends enjoying their youth and summer without boys around to ruin it for them"
"Boys?" he laughs. "Too bad, then, 'cause sweetheart, I'm a man"
Your breath hitches, but you're not going to let him win; you always need to have the last word.
"Well, man up and let your daughter be free for once!"
Sarah covers her face with her palms, clearly knowing her dad more. This is a lost battle.
"Stop, y/n. Please. Dad's impossible to bend"
"He's ruining our trip!" you protest, feeling like a child throwing a tantrum.
"Take it or leave it" he leans against his truck, crossing his arms. Your eyes dart to the strained fabric of his sleeves, and when he chuckles, you don't know if he noticed or it's because of his imminent victory.
"Fine!" you throw your hands in the air, dramatically so. "Welcome on board, intruder"
Joel Miller smiles, and maybe it's the rare sight, not even common back in the day, that makes your heart skip a beat.
"And we're taking my truck"
"Are you being serious right now?!" Was this man going to take away all your freedom?
He laughs, mockingly. Rage bubbles in your chest, along something darker you aren't going to admit just yet.
"There is no way my daughter is going on a fucking hatchback to the beach"
You try to distract yourself talking to Sarah in the backseat, but her dad's prying glances time to time from the rear view mirror have you shifting uncomfortably on your seat.
He's persistent, always has been. Joel Miller, just as Sarah said, wasn't a man who could be bent. You'd remember thinking he was a sort of superhero: unbreakable. Whenever Sarah needed help, a pair of strong arms would be there, ready to take the weight off of her shoulders. He was now older, as you have noticed: grey and wrinkles sprayed all over his face. And now, the worst part of it all:
Age had made him infuriatingly attractive.
Unfair, you think, that a man so bitter that only seemed to worry and nag, was blessed with the rare quality of aging like wine. You can deny it anymore: whatever Joel Miller has now that he didn't before is working on you like a lovesick spell.
You look again to the front, just in time to catch one of his subtle (not really) stares. You keep the eye contact, only he tears away his gaze first, something akin to regret and fear circling on his warm brown orbs. The fire from before cracks inside of your belly, and the anticipation begins.
If he was going to ruin your trip, you might as well return the favor.
"M' gonna stop for gas" he says after some minutes of silence, deviating towards a gas station.
You take the opportunity to get out of the truck to strech your legs. Sarah does so too, but then whispers into your ear:
"Tell my dad I need to go to the bathroom. Don't want him worrying"
As if you'll talk to him. Despite that, you nod and she leaves you alone with her annoying dad.
"Reckless too, huh?" Joel appears by your side, almost making you drop your phone. "You know you're not s'pposed to use the damn phone on a gas station? Good thing I ain't let my daughter go alone with you"
You put your phone down. "Reckless? I know what I'm doing" but you sound nervous, for some reason.
"You haven't changed at all, have you?" Joel says, his voice surprisingly soft.
You heart gets stuck in your throat at the sudden shift, "I suppose not"
"I get that you hate me" he confesses, done filling the tank, "but I couldn't let the two of you go alone"
Your cheeks turn pink at the accusation, "I don't hate you"
He laughs, and the sound has something stirring in the lower of your belly. Why is Joel Miller of all people provoking feelings in you no other boy has ever provoked? You're used to playing with boys as you please, and you come to realize that's where the difference lies: you don't know how to handle a man.
A man so strong, your eyes don't leave him as his arms flex while pumping the gas, the delicious peek his simple white shirt gives you not going unnoticed; droplets of sweat on his temple, sliding down his jawline then getting lost down the crook of his neck. You lick your lips on instinct, horrified when you realize what you've just thought and done.
"Damn right you don't"
You could say you've reached some kind of truce, but then Sarah comes back, and when you look at Joel again, he's reverted to that annoying apathic state of his, but instead of bothering you, it only makes you want more.
"Hey" he says to Sarah, "where you went?"
"I had to pee, dad. Relax" she dismisses, shooting at you a can-you-believe-it look.
He walks away, ready to jump in the driver's seat again, when he turns around to whisper to Sarah:
"Don't ever leave me again" tone stern, "not with her"
But you hear.
You arrived late, the sun hiding behind the large body of water that seemed infinite.
"I can't believe we missed the first sunset!" you whine. "It was going to look so good on my Instagram stories..."
"This generation and their problems" Joel scoffs, taking the suitcases to the house you've rented for the next two days.
The answer is right at the tip of your tongue, but you decide to be the bigger person and remain quiet. If he wants to play, you better play smart.
"Dad, please" Sarah calls him out, and you have to hide a laugh. "Don't fight with y/n"
"I ain't doing shit" he sneers, crossing his bulking arms.
Sarah walks past him, muttering against his childishness. That angers Joel, who tries to remain cool.
"I know you hate me" you suddenly appear by his side. Your vainilla scent gets up on his nose, invading his body of you. "I just think you should try, for Sarah"
"I don't hate you" he answers, and now it's your turn to laugh.
"Yeah? Doesn't seem like it, Mr. Miller" it comes out before you can stop it, and there's something dark lurking behind his brown eyes piercing through you.
"I don't" sounding more sure this time. Serious too.
"You'll have to prove that"
You enjoy the surprise on his face and the light pink sprinkled across his cheeks.
"Prove that?"
You nod, finding all of this suddenly funny.
"Hmh, you heard me. Prove it, Mr. Miller. That you don't hate me"
But before he can respond, your bestfriend is back.
"Y/n, come on! You need to check the house. It has a shared balcony!" Sarah beams giddy.
You let her excitement infect you, taking her hand as you go inside the house. Joel stays back, your words ringing on his ears.
On the other hand, Sarah and you check the room together.
"Look this" she points at one of the mirrors in the room: it has details that remind you of the sea. "Isn't it cute?"
"It is" you agree, "we should take a picture"
"Okay. But use your phone" she says, "mine died on the road"
You're about to pull it out when you feel your pockets empty.
"It's... not here"
"You might have left it in the car" she tries to help.
"Yeah" you try to remain level-headed, "I'll go search for it"
You return to the truck, pressing your head against the window. Just like your friend guessed, it's there, abandoned on the seat.
"Lost somethin'?"
You gasp, turning around. Joel Miller's face is centimeters away from yours, breathing heavily as his body cages your smaller frame against the truck's doors.
"My phone" you find your voice after what feels like eternity, "it's inside the car"
"Need help with that?" his voice sounds low, whisper easily to be confused with a growl.
You don't know how to answer, scared for the first time of where your mouth could take you. So your solution is to nod, and step aside for him to open the car.
"There you go" he's dropping it in your hands, fingers lightly brushing yours. There's a shiver down your spine despite the cool weather, and you know damn well it's all his fault. He may feel it too, by the way he takes a step back, putting some distance.
"Need anything else?" but it feels like a slap to the face, as if he's challenging you to speak what you've been thinking but are too coward to do when he stands before you.
"No" you mentally slap yourself for how pathetic you sound, "this is all I needed, Mr. Miller. Thanks"
You look back one last time, despite it all. And there it is: that same look he gave you in the car.
"Anytime" but it falls deaf to your ears, as you basically ran away from him.
Him and his imposing presence, enough to make your legs tremble and your mind to stop working. Him and his smell, that brings you back to simpler times and reminds you of a a secret place in the woods, musk getting under your skin. Him and his breath, hitching when you touch hands. Him and his beating heart, just as loud as yours.
"Took you long" Sarah comments when you return, "I was already falling asleep"
She doesn't know or suspect, you tell yourself, but that doesn't stop you from feeling sick.
That night, as Sarah lays by your side and you try to sleep, all you can think about is his big hands, the lingering feeling of a warm touch. And then Joel, stepping back―coming to his senses, as if something is holding him back.
Anytime.
You can't help but wonder what stopped him.
Days have blurred between drinks by the poolside, waves crashing, wet sand in your fingers and sun carressing skin.
Despite what happened, Joel remains in the shadows, letting you and Sarah enjoy your trip in peace. You may be spending time with your bestfriend, but his presence hangs in the air, impregnated with his strong pine and whisky smell, looming over you like a shadow; suffocating, like his scent is all you can breath. You hate how your mind keeps going back to him, because despite your inicial claims to ruin him, that wasn't the purpose of this vacation, yet Joel seems to have infected you with a need that corners your mind to think of him and him only. The greed you feel is unnatural, like a spell has been cast upon you. He may be far, just as you wanted, and you should enjoy that, but it's that very same distance that is driving you insane.
Today, you and Sarah decided to go diving and then play volleyball.
The day ends, the sun sets, and so does the tiredness. But as Sarah's snores fill your ears, you toss around the bed, trying to conceal sleep to no avail.
Staring at the ceiling, you kept drifting back to Joel, mind wondering and heart racing at thoughts of strong arms caging you, warmth in your body that the breeze creeping through flowing curtains fails to provide.
The sound of wood creaking jolts you awake. His silhoutte is hard to miss, and your eyes follow it cross your bedroom. You pretend to be asleep, his scent up your nose as he walks in careful measured steps, trying not to wake you up. He looks back at Sarah, and the moonlight betrays him when it shines over his eyes, revealing an adoration that gnaws your chest.
He keeps walking, until he reaches the shared balcony. It's then that you make a choice, heart pounding in your chest as you race yourself from bed, going his way.
You go outside, finding him resting his arms on the balcony, facing the beach in silence. Soft waves crash against the wet sand, but not even that can overpower the sound of your beating heart.
"What're you doin' here?" he's asking, even if you haven't moved from your spot. Seems like your friend wasn't joking about his heightened senses, despite his old age. "Thought y'were 'sleep"
"Well, Sarah is a fast sleeper" you answer, walking to his side.
"She sure is" and the faintest of a smile appears on his face.
Joel Miller is a mystery to you: the most closed off man you've ever met, hiding behind his apparent apathy that only seems to be gone whenever Sarah is around. She's the apple of his eye, and those soft traces of a more tamed character that come to light have truly picked your interest, begging for more crumbs that will help you puzzle who he really is: he, that is as handsome as a mystery. The worst is, you don't know what attracts you more.
But you won't let him win.
"Mr. Miller?"
"Yeah?"
"Were you married?"
He looks at you, dark eyes partly iluminated by the moonlight.
"Aren't you a bit too young to be bold?"
"And aren't you too hot to be all alone?" you reply in an instant, rendering him speechless.
He chuckles, but it sounds defeated rather than amused.
"Trust me, kid" he's back at facing the ocean. Goddamn coward. "This isn't what you want"
"Don't call me kid" you berate, almost repulsed at it. "I'm twenty one"
He scoffs. "Still hella young"
"But I know what I want" a wavering hand ready to trace over his pecs, but he's stopped you before it descends. Before it's too late.
"You don't" he assures, grip on your hand stronger, without knowing how much you're enjoying this. Or maybe he does. "See? That's the problem with you kids: you think you do, but you don't"
You loose your patience.
"Tell me then, Mr. Miller. Would a kid do this?"
Taking the distraction, the same hand flies now to grop his dick, and to your surprise, it's already hard.
"Seems I'm not the only one who doesn't know what they want"
"Stop" he warns, hissing when your eager fingers unbuckle his belt. It's huge, for some reason, and you can't help but feel an ardent throb at the thought of grinding on it.
When your eyes look at Joel, he swears he sees you devilishly smirk, almost as if you were mocking him.
"Stop?" you bite your lip, feigning innocence as doe eyes look where dark ones had done before. "If that's what you want, you aren't even trying"
You kneel down, and the position gives you the perfect side of his adam's apple bobbing in a nervous gulp. He grows insecure under your intense stare, breath hitching when the wind hits his now free member as you pull down his underwear, revealing it hard and leaking with precum. You laugh delighted, with victory, and he finds himself trapped between the moon and your games, drowning on a sea feet away.
"I think I know what you want"
"How? You don't even know what you want" barely fighting it.
Your fingers grace over his soft abdomen, tracing down his belly and happy trail. Your teeth nip at the skin scattered with soft rosy lines, peppering the skin with fluttering kisses to entertain your mouth until your digits touch his hard cock. Joel whines, squirming, and you're delighted with the receptiveness, needy sounds escaping his lips.
You haven't even started yet.
"You're right, I don't" you agree. "All I know is you piss me off and that you ruined our trip, so I'm gonna take my anger out on you one way... or another"
You take your first lick, savouring the dark red head. His hips buck, a shaky gasp robbed from his chapped lips.
"Fuck" he exhales weakly, lost against the sound of water.
"Don't worry, Mr. Miller. I'll take good care of you" admiring his girth. He looks down on you, bottom lip caught between his teeth. Joel can't lie and say he isn't fascinated with the way you look at him, not believing so much appetite can fit in such a small young body. Not even his partners before you, had looked at him like he was the best thing in the world, and now here you were: the loud-mouthed brat best friend of his daughter, sucking his cock while Sarah slept just a few meters away. Just yersteday he was bickering with you, not standing your spoiled attituted and juvenile spirit that can't be tamed and won't shut up. Hell, you had even disrespected him. But here he is, not being able to find the words or actions to stop you: because he doesn't want to.
It was all so fucked up.
But then you're closing your lips around his swollen head, and he knows there's no point in fighting it anymore, his whole body urging him to give in.
"Oh, fuck" he pants, getting all worked up as you take him deeper. "Keep goin'. You're doin' a great job, sweetheart"
The praise gets to you, even if not needed.
Your tongue swirls, running the muscle with wet slides, up and down, tip to base, some pressure applied. You proceed to take in his balls, feeling him tense up. You wanted to mock him badly, but your mouth was full of his dick, so that wasn’t happening.
"D-don't stop" he pleads, sounding more like a whine.
He's deep enough that it hits your throat. You've never been this greedy, but also, have never tried with a dick so big. You feel him in the roof of your mouth, your lips at the base of the tip, brushing against skin. Joel can't keep up: breath hitching, moans ragged and consumed, barely standing if it wasn't for your hands digging in his thighs for support.
You keep building pace, seeing Joel's face scrunch up.
"M' close" his voice comes out strained, his head tilting back, wild soft locks from before now plastered against his forehead, dripping with sweat. His muscles tense, you can feel it, and it's just about time before he's coming inside your mouth.
You want it. To taste more of him, who you claim to hate but feels oh so good. Strong, just as his presence.
"So good, fuck, you're so good" in a tone so needy and desperate. It falls out of his lips, followed by more unintelligible praises dripping from his tongue.
And then, in a shaky breath, lost to the wind:
"Y/n"
You gasp, and he feels it, the air ticklish on his sensitive skin.
Joel said your name.
Your name, in a way it had never been said before. Uttered like a prayer, submerged in devotion. Your name, melting into his moans, deep within him, the calling full of a primal desire. The experience is intoxicating, making you crave more.
Joel comes with a groan, head falling back. Your name dies on his lips as his hips thrust up with your lips closing in. Thick spurts of cum mix with saliva in the back of your throat. You pull out, a string of saliva still connecting you to his dick. He looks down on you, body shaking as much as yours. Without breaking eye contact, he wipes some of the mess drooling from your lips, his calloused thumbs carresing you with a softness you didn't think was possible. The contrast makes you falter a bit, and you know Joel notices.
"There you go" your voice comes out hoarse, avoiding his eyes, "now you know what you want"
He chuckles, giving you a hand to stand up. As you raise to your feet, his face is barely inches away from yours. You can see the lines time has marked across his face, the grays coloring hair you remember to be brown, and those eyes―piercing through you like they know you better than you know yourself.
"But do you?"
Joel Miller doesn't know what is regret.
He didn't feel it when Sarah arrived unexpectedly at the ripe age of twenty, forcing him out of college. He didn't feel it when Sarah's mother left him alone to raise his daughter all by himself, aware he had tried it all to make it work. He surely didn't feel it when you came back after leaving Texas, long gone the childlike wonder and features that made him see you as an extension of his daughter, his gaze lingering a bit too long on this familiar face in a beautiful blooming new body.
But this is different, and he isn't sure if, for the first time, he's finally known what is regret.
Joel Miller also doesn't know when to back out of a fight.
He remember his brother Tommy, practically begging to let go of some asshole that dared to pick up on him, knuckles bloody no matter if he was young then and old as stubborn now, the same red painted across his willfull hands.
But now those hands prickle and sweat, no matter how much he runs them over the fabric of his jeans. And now, as your dangerous stare pierces through him across the small table, Sarah oblivious to the game as she quietly munchs her cereal, Joel Miller backs down, his gaze the first to look away.
He realizes just now why he was so afraid to look up to the sky after you left. The same stars that stared back from the high of the dark night are akin to the ones dancing in your eyes.
"Mr. Miller" your voice breaks his train of thoughts.
"Where's Sarah?" he asks in a panicked voice, realizing you've been left alone.
"Brushing her teeth" you answer, slightly taken back by his tone. "We were going out today, remember?"
Ah, yes. A little tour to an island not to far away from there.
"M' not goin'. Sorry, kid" he's decided. Before you can speak, Sarah returns and asks the question herself.
"M' tired. That's all" but it sounds rather an excuse.
"Are you sure, dad?" Sarah presses, not sure why he had changed his mind at the last minute.
"Yeah" he insists, all while avoiding those eyes of yours, unsatisfied and searching for answers of questions qithout a voice. "You girls go and have fun"
So you do.
You go and feel like you're inside of Mamma Mia (your favorite movie; both of you learned ABBA's discography thanks to it, something that offended your parents), the sun reflecting in the water, the little island with its green and sun, and the flowers that dust their petals into the shore where your boat arrives.
But when the trip is over and soft waves rock your return, you think of Joel.
You think you should feel at least a little ashamed of becoming so obssesed with a man in barely two days, who, on top of it all, is your bestfriend's dad. But then you remember the taste of him inside your mouth, how his dick had rasped against your throat, his seed warm in the tip of your tongue. And then his eyes, promises meant to be broken locked away behind tides of fear, that do an excellent job of reminding you how easy is to drown; to fall for how in hazel flickers, Joel seems he'd give you the world.
"Let's get drunk" you deadpan once you're back at the shore.
Sarah laughs at your determination, then realizes you're serious.
"What?"
"Yeah, it's our last day here" you reason. "Besides, your dad isn't here. What's he going to say?"
If you sound between angry and dissapointed at his absence, Sarah remains quiet.
"We're running away" she tries one last time, but by the look in your eyes, you've made your choice.
"Are we? We're twenty-one, Sarah. We can do whatever the fuck we want" you feel rebellious all of a sudden, "what? Don't you wanna give this trip a grand finale?"
So you crash into the nearest bar and waste the night away, drinking and dancing. But you're ordering a drink you don't like, and in every glass of whiskey down your throat, his name hangs in the air like the memory of his smell, locked behind a vault as if it's too sacred to say. But when Sarah gets a boy to dance and lends his friend to you, you wish there was rough where soft meets your skin, and chapped when you kiss his lips. Your body burns ablaze with sweat, alcohol and regret, a dangerous combination that makes you pull Sarah out of the bar when you feel you're about to black out. She complains, but you're set on making it to the bed before your eyelids shut.
Maybe it's because you always had what you wanted, or maybe it was the forbidden, but whatever reason had pushed you in Joel's orbit, refused to let you go.
And maybe you're imagining his voice, scolding you like a kid. Maybe you're seven again, and in the shadows of the bed, you've gone back to your childhood days. Y/n, y/n, y/n. That sick berating tone of his, acting like you're stupid and small.
"Fucking brat" he spats, drops of his angry scowl landing on your cheek. You then realize he's hovering over you, and it's real, not a product of your foggy mind. So you stand up, sobering up a bit, when he charges back again. "Makin' my daughter pass out? What the fuck were you thinkin'? Could've ended in the middle of the street. You're s'pposed to go to the damn island and then come back!"
Your mouth tastes like sand, but even if you've passed out a couple hours ago, the fire doesn't die. So your tongue is back, finding it's voice to say:
"Well, if you hadn't left us alone, this wouldn't have happened"
He chuckles, darkly. Humorless. "I see"
"What?" you challenge, a shiver down your spine that looses itself somewhere else.
"You got my daughter drunk as revenge"
You're mortified at the accusation, the remnants of alcohol now long gone of your system.
"Do you think I'd risk me and my friends' safety for you? Out of all people, you?" not caring if you sound bitter.
The truth sticks to your skin as uncomfortably as the sweat.
"I dunno, sweetheart. That's why I'm asking you" the pet name rolls effortlessly, in a rough voice that creates a wet spot in your panties. He gets closer, and you can see the tremble of his lips as he lets out a shaky breath. "Be a good girl and answer"
"I won't tell you shit" you spit.
"You little mix, thinkin' you can run your tongue like it ain't been 'round my cock before" you look like a deer caught in headlights, and Joel's enjoying this more than he should. "That's right, what'd Sarah think knowing her friend's a little slut for'er daddy's cock?"
The electric current that crosses your body sparks the fire of the woods hiding behind his auburn storms.
Now you're feeling high on a forest fire. You want the flames to engulf you, even if ashes is all there'll be left.
"Tell me you want this" his forehead clashes against yours, and the whole world falls silent, except for your ringing ears.
"I want this" and he's just as surprised as you are by the unwavering conviction. "I need you, Mr. Miller"
You try to get up, but he pushes you with full force back into your bed. Then, the base creaks, and he's on top of you, his weight pressing you against the mattress.
"What are you-"
"You think I'd let you get away easily? Have things your way? Naive lil' girl" he tuts, "I'll punish you for that"
As on cue, drowned out snores are heard from your side.
"But, Sarah-" you try to protest, his body caging you under his mercy.
"That'll mean you're behavin', right?" he runs his thumb across your lips, gently pulling them down, as if the chase was thrilling as eating the prey. "I know you don't want to wake her up and see her slut of a friend bangin' her daddy"
You tense, remaining silent at the threat, even if your body reacts other ways.
"Good girl"
He’s quick to get rid you of your shorts.
"Fuckin' hell" he murmurs against your neck, the clothing discarded somewhere in the room. "Wearin' this little shitty bottoms to rail me up, knowin' damn well when to bent and get me hard. Been thinkin' of takin' them off ever since you wore 'em first"
The confession makes you whine, and Joel's delighted by the sound, and just how putty you are under his big rough hands.
"Let's see what we got here" his large hands caress your thighs as he settles between your legs. "Black lace, baby? Such a fuckin' tease. Wore 'em for me?"
You shake your head, but his calloused digits dig on the plush skin of your thighs, making you wince at the pain.
"Don't lie to me, sweetheart. You'd said you'll be a good girl, yeah?" you nod, soaking wet, painfully so.
"Yes, I'll be"
"Show me your manners, then" he presses light kisses on the insides of your thighs, close to where you need his graying beard to tickle, "and I'll show you mine"
"Just eat me, Joel" you demand breathlessly. "Fuck. Need you, Mr. Miller, so bad"
"And why should I reward you, impatient little slut? Eager to get daddy's filthy mouth between that pretty pussy" Joel bites the inside of your thigh, and it takes all of your strength to avoid becoming a moaning mess. "You've been bad, sweetheart. A brat"
You deny it, but his head dissappears between your legs, licking the wet spot on your panties. You squirm under the teasing of his tongue, legs shutting close on instinct. You drown a whimper in your palm as he yanks your panties away.
"Don't do anything I ain't tell you to" demanding, and if you weren't this horny and out of your mind, you'd probably be scared. "There'll be consequences"
You try to obey. But then his nose, that big nose you want covered in your slick as you grind off of it between your legs, sniffs your panties. He gives it one big sniff, and then two, fingers going white as he holds the piece of fabric with too much force, shoving it on his face.
"Ye'r too fuckin' sweet, I'll give you that" he mumbles in a drunken haze. "Need to taste that drippin' cunt of yours 'night"
The bed creaks again, or maybe it's the sound of his bones starting to give in to old age, but Joel is sucking your clit, tongue pushed inside of your puffy folds. You hide a moan against his lips, hands traveling to grip his hair.
"Joel" you breathe out.
He parts your folds easily, and before you know it, a rugged finger circles your entrance. Your back arches, and then he leaves place for his mouth again, flicking your sensitive core with his tongue. A moan a little too loud escapes your lips, making his eyes darken when the bed next to you shifts, Sarah tossing in her sleep.
"You dumb fuckin' brat. What'd I say?" his hand slams against your pussy, a sting you've never felt before, both showered in pain and pleasure, spreading across your cunt. "Don't disobey me. Apologize, now"
He stops his minstrations, and you're so achingly close to your orgasm, that the answer falls easy and rushed from your lips.
"Sorry, Mr. Miller"
"Good girl" Joel praises as he pushes his finger in, next to his tongue on your clit.
But the orgasm is so deliciously close, and you can't wait for more. So now you're grinding in his face by reflex, rubbing against his big nose just like you'd imagined. You whine at the sensation, and Joel rests his tongue flat on your clit with surprise.
"Who gave you permission to do that?" but his voice sounds more amused than nagging. "That imagination of yours is somethin' else. Have you been thinkin' bout it all this time, hmh, greedy dirty slut?"
The orgasm looms closer, hitting when Joel pushes a second rough finger in, walls clenching against his digits. He pulls away, licking his fingers with his tongue.
"Such a perfect pussy you got there, sweetheart. As sweet as you when you ain't bein' a pain in the ass"
You laugh breathless, trying to recover.
"Wanna taste?"
So now he's kissing you for the first time, his lips rough against plush skin, nibbling with your lower lips between his teeth, his tongue still tasting like you roaming free inside your mouth, like he wants to mark every corner; imprint himself in you. You've never wanted anything, hell, anyone more. The kiss leaves you hanging, heart racing at the closeness of his face and the warmhearted feeling of his lips on yours, like pieces of a puzzle fitting together.
"There you go" he chuckles, enamoured at the sight of your puffy lips. "Now it's my turn"
He's quick to get rid of the jeans and belt (oh well, it'll be another day) until he's over you, just wearing his boxers.
You'd never seen Joel naked before, why would you? But there's a vague memory of hot summer days, trying to survive the heat in the town's pool, just as the rest. He was there, eye candy for the mothers and horny teens. You hadn't understand back then, when he was all muscle, but you do know, where the mighty strenght is still hidden there, somewhere between his sturdy arms and chest as soft as his belly, round as it pushes above the only piece of cloth that forbids you to see his dick. His chest is full of hair, and God, you feel so dirty wanting to bury your face in the sweat drenched patch.
"Stop lookin' at me like that" he teases, but there is a small voice of insecurity hiding its undertones beneath his smirk under your stare.
"You're so fucking hot, Joel" comes out before you can stop it, now mouth acting up on its own.
Fuck, he thinks, he's too far gone. There's no point of return.
Your eager fingers pull down the underwear, fingers grazing the softness of his length. You slowly grabs his dick as he comes closer, never seeing anything as big and provoking as it. That makes you tighten your grip on his dick, which stands proud and tall, leaking precum, and the muscles of his thighs strain against his skin.
He positions himself between your legs again.
"Let's put this big bad boy to use, huh?"
He grunts at your words, large hands finding your thighs for support, as he caresses up and down the skin littered with marks and kisses.
Joel pushes in. Just his tip, yet your mouth falls open at how large he already feels, and you tighten your hold on his neck.
"Tell me if it hurts" all softness on his eyes, his forehead falling against yours, as if he hadn't been punishing you just minutes ago. Your heart races at the gesture, tender meeting the rough of his edges.
The real question isn't asked, but you're on the pill and you trust him. You just want to fill him inside of you, all of him.
"I will, Mr. Miller"
He slams all the way in. You let out a broken sound, quickly muffled by his palm as he stays buried deep inside of you, givimg you time to adjust to his size. It burns, but you enjoy the way the pain feels. He slowly pulls out, before pushing all the way in again. Your slick folds take him, and he grunts, supporting his aching body by the forehead against yours one more time.
"So tight, sweetheart. Ain't nobody ruinin' this pussy but me" his growl comes out possesive as Joel establishes a steady rhythm. You softly moan as he keeps moving, pounding into you, hitting a spot no one had before, making you see stars. It gets harder to stay quiet, but Joel caputres every little sound that comes out of you in a kiss, as if that way he could preserve them better and forever.
You wrap your legs tight around him, keeping him close as your walls clench around him, his thrusts harder yet slower as he keeps going, ramming into you.
"Look at you, coatin' my dick like a fuckin' meltin' ice cream" he gently pushes it again between your folds, rubbing his dick on your clit. "So fuckin' wet, for me"
His lips are slightly parted and his eyes looked all fogged up, lost in the fire, thrusts becoming sloppier as he too feels it coming.
"So fuckin' pretty" drips from his mouth, and there's the stars in your eyes and the light you insist he's always had, even if he'd prefere the darkness. "The prettiest girl in the world with the sweetest pussy, givin' it all to this ol' perverted fuck"
The words and his big dick inside of you makes your eyes flutter shut on instinct.
"Don't sleep on me, baby" he coos, a hand brushing damp hair from your face. You recognize the look: the same in the car, on the balcony and on the poarch of his house, after letting the years go by. Back then, you thought you had dreamed it, but now that the secret saccharine sweetness reveals herself as he slams into you, you know it was real.
This is real.
You meet his gaze again and try to hold it as he pounds you so gently yet so rough, trying to show him without words that whatever this wrong and sick feeling was, you felt the same.
"Such'a good girl, takin' me so well" Joel grunts, slamming to the hilt. "Fuck, sweetheart, I'm gonna-"
His dick twitches inside of you, walls spasming around his cock as your pussy takes it all, milking him dry.
"Take it all, like the good girl you are"
Both of you pant, and it takes him a while to realize the sun is raising again until its rays hurt his eyesight.
He's about to tell you how this shouldn't be, how he, at such an old age shouldn't be pinning for his daughter's friend: so young, sweet and loud-mouthed. No matter if you felt the same, or if your body was marked in and out by him, No, because wanting isn't enough, and no tide could wash away his sins from the shore.
"Listen, y/n-" your name like he has never said it before: no scold, no malice nor lust. Just a softness he hadn't felt in years, asleep under thick layers of cold.
But your soft snores fill the silence between the beats of his heart.
tags: @yesjazzywazzylove-blog @pedrosgrogu thank you sm for reading! hope u enjoy it :)
#dilfistwrites#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal x you#joel miller#joel miller tlou#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel miller smut#joel miller angst#dbf!joel miller#dbf!joel#tlou#tlou fanfiction
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#literally this is the thing!! #Dean has not explicitly said the words ''please stop leaving'' #but he has tried very hard through his actions to express that #AND!!!! CRUCIALLY!!! BECAUSE DEAN IS ACTUALLY A PRETTY GOOD VERBAL COMMUNICATOR!! #he has ALSO!!! verbally expressed his desire for Cas to stick around using OTHER words!!! #not as explicit as ''please stop leaving and stay with me'' but absolutely conveying the same sentiment #what the hell do you think ''we're stronger together'' and the whole ''cursed or not'' speech were about???? #like Cas needs it to be more clear than that to Get It bc he does not understand how his constant absence HURTS #but Dean does not want to BE more explicit than he already is #bc he feels like he's been VERY direct on the subject already #he literally told Cas he needs him. TWICE. and has prayed that he needs him there with them at least once that I can recall #Dean thinks he's been EXTREMELY explicitly clear already!!! #and that Cas is constantly leaving bc despite hearing Dean's tacit request to stay Cas is REFUSING that request and doesn't WANT to stay #he keeps asking and getting rebuffed WHY would he be louder and needier about it when he thinks all it's going to get him #is the emotional equivalent of a slap to the face? #in no universe is Dean going to ask for something louder when from his POV he's already been begging for it and being refused like???? #this is one of those cases where neither of them is actually doing anything wrong #Dean is communicating perfectly fine it's just Cas is autistic and missing some subtext #Cas isn't wrong for prioritizing his missions when he doesn't understand that Dean wants him there as much as he wants to be there #they're just talking past each other and a deeper conversation or two would fix this problem for them #they just don't realize that conversation is necessary #bc Dean thinks he's been heard and understood and Cas is politely declining his request for more time together #and Cas is unaware that that's something Dean has been asking for at varying volume levels for years #and instead bc of his trauma feels compelled to ''earn'' his place in the family with feats of strength so to speak #no one is at fault for their emotional needs not being met it's just a miscommunication #unfortunately the fandom focuses super hard on only one part of that equation and thus the takes on it are so often Bad™ #and ignore Cas's motivations and role as a complex actor with his own trauma and emotional issues and blind spots #anyway they're losers I adore them both <3 (via @ilarual)
on a realer note i do think people forget that a huge part of the destiel equation is that cas won’t stay. like yeah we focus a lot on the fact that dean won’t ask him to, but cas never sticking around is a huge factor there
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hey! this is a dumb question, but why are general secretaries elected for life?
They aren't. The procedure in democratic centralism is that a Congress is called periodically, typically every 4-5 years though that might vary, where a new Central Committee and its associated organs are elected, including the General Secretary. The Congress is the most powerful organ in a communist party, above the CC and gensec. Members of the party are chosen as delegates from their local cells, and they each have one vote, as well as having the duty to participate in the debates.
In the USSR, Lenin was actually never the general secretary, then Stalin was elected repeatedly despite him asking to step down multiple times. He died whole being gensec. Khruschev was replaced by Brezhnev in 1964. Brezhnev did die in 1982, and afterwards there were two quick successions both ended with the person holding the position dying, Andropov in 1984 and Chernenko in 1985. Gorbachev of course died 2 years ago, as he was overthrown. It is true that after Stalin the USSR had a very aged leadership, that's why Brezhnev, and especially Andropov and Chernenko died in the position.
In Cuba, before the revolution, only José Peña Vilaboa died while being first secretary and he only held it for a year or two. Fidel left office in 2011 and he died in 2016. Raúl Castro succeeded him and he left office in 2021, he's still alive. Now it's Miguel Díaz Canel who is 64.
In Vietnam, Trần Phú died while in office in 1935, then it wasn't until 6 general secretaries/first secretaries, including Hồ Chí Minh who died 9 years after leaving the position, Lê Duẩn died while in charge in 1986. No other general secretaries have died except for Nguyễn Phú Trọng who died last year.
In China, there is more of a marked difference between the state and party, but it's honestly not that hard to research. Most have not died in office.
The DPRK is a big exception, the Worker's Party of Korea, which to be clear isn't even the only party in the DPRK, has had 3 previous general secretaries (Kim Tu-Bong, Kim Il Sung, Kim Jong Il) who have all died in office. I'm sure someone can explain this in more depth, but the Kim family was so well-regarded and initially chose as general secretaries because they were almost legendary guerilla fighters against Japanese occupation, especially Kim Il Sung. Anna Louise Strong talks about this more here in chapter 3 Government and Elections. Whatever the case, each member of the Kim family has been very involved in the WPK, and due to the accumulated experience elected.
Whichever country you were thinking of when you sent this ask, which is probably the USSR or the DPRK, nobody is chosen until death. These positions are regularly and democratically renewed or reconfirmed, and I don't think that someone being elected multiple times is undemocratic. If people are happy with how something is run, why would they change it? and besides, let me remind you the General Secretary is not that supremely powerful. All decisions in a democratic-centralism system are taken collectively, taking into account previous debates and the constant feedback from the base. Many, many people are involved who the Central Committee rely on, and the CC itself often changes members even more between congresses. Idk, the USamericans chose FDR for almost 4 terms an nobody talks about the FDR dictatorship. It's not hard to believe maybe FDR was simply a good president most people liked, and who was in charge during a crucial time. The DPRK has been under constant siege since its very creation, under sanctions and with some of the largest military bases and exercises on its border, run by the people who killed around a fifth of your people. Changing leadership often might also be conducive to instability and a rapidly-changing course, which the Korean people would understandibly not want.
Same with Stalin. He was the general secretary during a crucial time, the collectivization of work and industrialization on par with the US and western Europe, followed by the Nazi-fascist invasion, and then the very costly reconstruction.
Non-ruling democratic-centralist parties typically have a much faster rotation of general/first secretaries, you can look at a list on Wikipedia for most parties out there and you can compare with their death dates.
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See it's funny because in the games, and in any other assorted media before the movies came out, everyone low-key just hates Robotnik. And not even in the fun dedicated way like they all seem to think he's a bit of a failure. Which sounds weird if you don't know anything about Sonic (and certainly sounded weird to me three weeks ago when I was one of those people) but it really is just genuinely the case. I think?
Obviously his family all hate him. Movie-only fans will have an idea about this one; we've got good old Geralt Robotnik who didn't give a rats ass about him in favour of his long-dead cousin Maria, whom he wants revenge for. Geralt manipulated him and used him and said "oh Ivo you're no Maria" even though Ivo probably doesn't even know who the fuck Maria is in the movie universe and so on, et cetera. Geralt sucks just as much in the games and did approximately the same thing there.
What you may or may not know is that in one of the games, Eggman runs into a descendant of his from generations into the future. That guy's name is Eggman Nega, and he absolutely hates his ancestor. He thinks he's cramping his style? He's trying to go back in time and kill him to restore his reputation as far as I remember. Not to mention he has other family and cousins, none of whom give a flying fuck what happens to him. I distinctly remember someone who's name was Collin but who's nickname was Snively and who also worked with Eggman at some point, but hated him, and then later betrayed him. I can't remember a single family member of Eggman's that actually seemed to like or even tolerate him.
He's had a lot of henchpeople too. Most of them were robots. A lot of them, like Omega, and Alpha, and Sage to an extent (although she was more like a robot daughter he built for himself) betrayed him and joined the good guys too (Sage is another outlier, she isn't exactly switching over but she definitely isn't loyal either so.??) I mean, Eggman isn't even surprised by the fourth time. Smaller minions like Orbot and Cubot and their predecessors weren't able to betray Eggman, but definitely would've if they could've because they all disliked him because he's allegedly a shit boss. (Who says he isn't. He's evil after all.)
He "contracts" a lot of spies and stuff too. Animal characters. They all hate him as well, but he tends to hate them in return, so at least those are entirely fair game.
Not to mention all the villains he's conveniently happened to need the same thing as at the start of the game, but become inconvenient to towards the end, so they betray him as quickly as possible to get ready for their final boss fight with Sonic towards the conclusion of the story. There's more of those than I can count or care to remember. He meets his alternative universe self once and they hate each other. There's even a moment in I think the comics where Eggman loses all his memories and temporarily becomes nice, and hangs out in a village and builds things for the furry people who live there. He makes a wooden puppet style robot that also becomes like a daughter to him. She's good at engineering, just like him. Of course when he gets his memories back and becomes evil again she leaves as quickly as possible and later helps Sonic & co. She's very resentful about it all, I've heard.
None of that is surprising, of course. Eggman is an evil villain to the heroes and a loser to the villains. It's funny! It's a joke. They need to introduce scarier villains in the games to ramp up tension but they can't exactly just drop Sonic's nemesis down a hole somewhere, being as iconic as he is... So he sticks around. But as a joke, rather than an actual threat. And it's a little sad, yeah. But he deserves it! He's trying to create some sort of totalitarian egg-state and he bullies Sonic for having friends, for Christ's sake. Why should anyone want to stay loyal to a guy like that- and why should anyone do it at all? Joining the heroes is the cool thing to do! Shadow does it, Knuckles does it, Omega kinda sorta does it, Sage is toeing the damn line from what I've heard, it's...
Okay, it's kind of a lot? I mean I understand having nobody that's a good guy like the villain, but like... Not even his damn henchpeople robots? In a lot of the animated shows and comics he keeps building robot wives for himself that are explicitly created just to like him, by him. That or he's into someone who's into one of the animals, or similar. I mean, it's that bad. And it's like... Nobody? Not even once in like thirty years did anyone come up with the idea to give Eggman?? This behemoth among famous pop culture characters? A loyal henchman?
And- well, okay, nowadays this isn't true anymore. I'm sure we all know why. And that's kind of fun; in 2020, Doctor Robotnik gained his first and only loyal henchperson. Great! But...
Jeff Fowler is a Sonic fan, isn't he. Would he know..?
Would anyone involved in making the movies know that Eggman famously... Doesn't have any friends? That nobody seems to like him? That he's apparently infinitely betrayable? Do they know? Do they know? Is that why the third movie is written like that? Is it not just a character complex pulled out of someone's- I mean, when movie Eggman says that there's only ever been one person who actually liked him and one person who actually cared about him... He's quite literally right, isn't he. As in... Since 1991... Like 34 years since conception as a handful of red pixels in the hottest new platformer game there's actually, literally only been one character..? ooh I think I need to lie down for a bit
#someone come tell me im wrong.#please.#sonic#sonic movie 3#sonic movie universe#dr robotnik#stobotnik#yeah that counts why not#oh agent stone. you absolute enigma.#not to mention.#stone as a character is an accident that wasn't in the script as we know him and was lowk a result of the actors fucking around..#im ill i think.#long post
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rehab. 5.
Avenger! Bucky Barnes x Winter Soldier! Fem! Reader
Summary: While on a mission to find any more possible super soldiers that were a part of the Winter Soldier program, Steve and Bucky make a discovery in an abandoned HYDRA base that was cleared out a few years prior to their mission. They discover the Reader, a long-forgotten soldier that was still asleep within a functioning cryostasis pod; still awaiting orders. While Bucky isn't happy about it, he is put up to the challenge of helping to rehabilitate the soldier in Wakanda where she may be able to become a person again.
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A/n: This chapter is going to contain some very dark and graphic scenes. Please read carefully. I'm really happy that you guys are enjoying the story! The comments are feeding me and motivating me so much, I really do appreciate the support. Also, you can read it here on my archive account as well!
This is an au where Bucky joined the avengers but still rehabilitated in Wakanda (sometime before Infinity War [canon divergent cause NOPE]). I am NOT fluent in Russian, so I did use google translate cause I couldn't find a good translator that I trusted. If anything is wrong, PLEASE let me know!! Also, I tried to list as many warnings as possible so you know what the story will contain as chapters are posted. Stay safe!
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Genre: Slowburn, Enemies to Lovers/Friends to Lovers, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Humor, Drama, Dark Content Rated: Explicit Warning: Angst, Dark Content: Graphic Depictions of Sexual Assault, Blood and Gore, Mentions of Manipulation, Kidnapping, Canon-Typical Violence, Body Horror, Nonconsensual Body Modification/Scarring, Emotional and Physical Abuse, Mentions of Murder, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts/Ideation, Graphic Depictions of Human Remains, Mentions of Sexual Coercion/Manipulation, Death, Misuse of Drugs/Forced Drugging, Self-Harm (Graphic Depictions and Mentions), Nightmares
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Author: ScariusAquarius
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rehab masterlist. chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4
All through the night, Shuri had worked on dissecting the Winter Soldier's brain. When Bucky had swung by the lab in the morning, it seemed as though Shuri hadn't slept at all. Her space buns were now down, the freely-hanging braids swinging wildly as she walked around the cryostasis pod with quick paces.
Her brows were furrowed with annoyance, the princess cursing to herself in Xhosa as Okoye stood by, raising a brow at the profanities Shuri was listing off. Bucky was concerned, greeting her with a tilt of his head and holding out a cup of coffee for her.
"Good morning. Did you get any sleep at all?"
"Good morning, Sergeant Barnes. I admittedly lost track of time, but the programming is proving to be difficult. Every time I seem to get past the encryption, another layer pops up and tries to activate her. However, since she's in cryostasis, the activation is failing."
Bucky nodded, humming thoughtfully as he stared at the woman within the pod.
"Seems like they updated their programming to avoid another...well, me."
Shuri nodded, huffing as she glanced back at him.
"Exactly. I knew that she was going to be complex, but I didn't think to realize that they would install safeguards in such a way. I can do it, it's just frustrating."
Okoye hummed, quirking her brow slightly before snorting in amusement when Shuri glared back at her.
"She has been yelling profanities for the last two hours."
Shuri waved her off, not even gracing Okoye with a response. Instead, she gestured Bucky over, expanding the hologram of the woman's mind. Throughout her mind, Bucky could see pulses of...something...happening, and he glanced at Shuri when the woman asked.
"What do you see?"
"Um, it looks like there's a lightning storm flashing through her mind."
Shuri smiled, nodding.
"Precisely. The synapses of her brain are firing rapidly despite her being in cryostasis. Do you understand what this means?"
Bucky was quiet, shrugging slightly, and Shuri rolled her eyes before saying.
"She is dreaming, White Wolf."
Bucky was surprised, asking Shuri as she began to poke around the hologram, pulling up a couple sections.
"Wait, she is?"
"Yes, and with my technology, I've been able to see into these dreams."
Her expression became grim, eyes darting away from Bucky, and Bucky understood what her expression was saying. Whatever Shuri was able to see hadn't been pleasant in the slightest, which in a morbid way, Bucky wasn't even surprised. Almost wordlessly, she pulled up a particular image, explaining.
"I was only able to get glimpses and small portions of dreams due to HYDRA's programming kicking me out repeatedly, but from what I saw...it was truly horrific. The things that HYDRA did...the things it seems that she is remembering, or perhaps never forgot, are...they are horrific, Sergeant Barnes."
Bucky frowned deeply as looked at the images that Shuri was showing him. Some were of a familiar cell wall, some were of blurred faces that were familiar yet unknown at the same time, and there was one that made his stomach churn.
Blood. There was so much blood covering her naked thighs and pooled beneath her. Shuri had taken the time to carefully blur the soldier's vagina from view, but Bucky didn't even need to see it to know what they had done.
You're a super soldier, they would say. You can take it.
Bucky bit his tongue while his back stiffened considerably, and Shuri brought up a clip that began to play automatically. It seemed to be of a previous killing, the man on the ground looking up at the soldier fearfully as a bloody hand came into view.
He seemed to be begging, crying hard as the body of a child whose head was crushed and gushing with blood and destroyed brain matter laid within his lap. The soldier was holding a gun, and when the gun was fired, the clip ended.
"Were you able to do this with me as well?"
Bucky's tone was quiet, his words almost a whisper as he looked away from the clip, his breathing starting to accelerate slightly as Shuri swiped the clip away quickly.
"Definitely, but not to this extent. However, our work together helped to shape my technology into this."
Shuri gestured to the hologram with her hand before she glanced back at Bucky, pursing her lips as she grabbed another image and maximized it, showing the image of a blurry paper-crochet butterfly and small hands that were in the process of decorating the art project.
"There are a few memories that I was able to get to, though they are slightly miniscule; almost useless to us in figuring out who she is."
Another video came up, a short 10 second clip that showed the soldier in what looked to be a graduation or awards ceremony. There was an elderly-looking hand that was lifting a medal before pinning it to her chest, and Bucky's eyes widened.
"Wait a minute...that looks familiar. Can you clear up the image a bit?"
Shuri looked smug before winking as the image cleared, showing a medal that had an inscription engraved onto it. Bucky shook his head in surprise, saying as he uncrossed his arms in surprise.
"No wonder she's a ghost. She worked for the CIA."
The medal that the soldier had been given was for Career Intelligence, a reward that came from exceptional achievements and, if Bucky remembered right, the length of service. Shuri hummed, stating as she crossed her arms and glanced at the woman.
"Not all ghosts are completely untraceable. If I can get deeper into her mind and get more parts of her memories unlocked, I can attempt to figure out who she is a lot easier and faster."
Shuri then shook her head, huffing with frustration.
"The risk that comes with doing so, however, is that once she awakens and her mind is able to be more active, these memories have a chance of coming to her all at once. It will be an overwhelming and horrifying experience for her."
Bucky sighed heavily. If that happened, there was a risk that it could reactivate HYDRA's programming and she would become an active threat, and nobody wanted that.
Hell, his temple was still throbbing.
Bucky then glanced over at Shuri again when Shuri pointed to a hologram of a document with the CIA's official seal, maximizing the image and swiping a few of the scanned documents away.
"Because we know our soldier was a part of the CIA, I scanned through their database to see if I could find anything akin to the Winter Soldier program. While the CIA is involved in a super soldier project, I haven't found anything of use yet. And don't worry, I erased my tracks as soon as I made them."
Shuri smirked with a haughty glint within her eyes, and Bucky chuckled at her. He hummed after mulling through his thoughts for a moment.
"It's nice to know that we're getting closer to knowing who she is, but if you can't get past the firewalls of the algorithm...how would we reactivate her without wiping her?"
"I can put a temporary lock upon her most recent memories from the time she was awakened until now. That lock will slowly deteriorate over time, almost like a dissolvable suture, so it won't be permanent."
That was nice to know, at least. T'Challa's voice made Shuri and Bucky jump from the surprise, the two of them looking back at him as he walked inside of the lab.
"If our Isithunzi worked for the CIA before she became a Winter Soldier and was awarded for her work, then perhaps the next step would be to look at every single employee that was in service within the last 50 years that received recognition from the agency."
He was holding the black book within his hands, and T'Challa placed it down on a table beside one of the original Black Panther suits, the king regarding the two of them with a tired look. Shuri scoffed, waving him off before doing the Wakandan salute.
"Please, you always think so lowly of me. When I discovered this particular memory, I downloaded as much information as I could without tripping the CIA's cyber security systems. There's at least 75 years worth of information here. If we filter out employees that hadn't specifically received a Career Intelligence reward, we lower the number to at least five to 10 years."
Bucky was impressed, and he joked gently.
"You ever thought of becoming a spy?"
T'Challa pursed his lips in annoyance when Shuri laughed loudly.
"Not in your life, White Wolf. I like being my own boss."
"Unless the king says no."
Shuri didn't even grace T'Challa with a response, making the man roll his eyes and shake his head. T'Challa regarded Bucky with a hard gaze, asking him.
"Have you gotten in touch with the Captain to see if Tony or Natasha have found anything as well?"
"Not yet. I was kind of waiting on them to get in touch with me."
T'Challa nodded, and he suggested.
'You should tell the Captain what you have found. I am sure that he is eager to know what we have uncovered."
Bucky nodded despite the cryptic feeling that was twinging T'Challa's words, and he walked out of the lab into a deserted hallway, a couple of the Dora Milaje standing guard. Awkwardly nodding to them in greeting as he walked down the hallway, Bucky slipped out the phone within his pocket and frowned.
Despite the fact that he'd had the thing for a while, Bucky still couldn't quite grasp the fact that touch-screen was a thing. Hell, the last time Bucky had ever used a phone before HYDRA, it was to call his little sister, Rebecca, before he went to Europe with the 107th.
He could still remember the number for the Shelbyville operator, the specific number for Rebecca's telephone, and how calls were logged and billed for at the end of the month. Now, it took just dialing a number directly. Bucky's mind was still having a bit of trouble wrapping around the idea of call operators not really being a thing anymore.
Shaking his head slightly, Bucky called Steve, a quiet part of his mind wondering if Steve had felt this way before as well. The meaningless thought was squandered when Steve answered, sounding a bit out of breath as he spoke.
"Hey, Buck. Any progress yet on the woman?"
Bucky hummed, leaning against the wall as he glanced in the direction of the lab, replying.
"We got a bit of good information. Shuri's technology was able to get through to some parts of the woman's brain and reveal some memories of her. Apparently, she was a part of the CIA before she became a Winter Soldier."
Steve made a noise of surprise, stating.
"That makes things a bit easier. Tony wasn't really able to find a lot, and Natasha hasn't even combed the surface of the databanks we acquired."
"She's a complete ghost, so I don't know if it'll help. There's something else, though..."
Bucky's voice trailed off for a moment, his surprise hitting him again before he informed Steve.
"...the woman's dreaming. Shuri had a live hologram of the woman's brain up, and she said that the synapses of her brain were firing in a way that was common with dreaming."
"Which means the woman might be remembering things...that's good, right?"
The image of the woman's bloodied legs came to Bucky's mind, and he tightened his grip on his phone, muttering.
"I don't...I don't know. Some of the images that Shuri was able to capture of the woman's dreams and memories...they weren't pleasant."
Steve was quiet for a moment, and he replied with a stern tone of voice.
"We'll get this figured out and we'll find out who she is. If not...then we can help her become a new person...a completely clean slate."
Bucky didn't comment on the way that Steve said 'we' and instead rubbed a hand over his face, muttering.
"The CIA seems to have a super soldier project, but it's not confirmed that the CIA had any volunteers that we know of...it's mainly rumors and ideas."
Bucky added as he watched T'Challa and Shuri leave down the opposite hall, their steps quick and purposeful.
"It's possible there were HYDRA agents within that stole information on the serum, or the serum itself, that the CIA was concocting and grabbed some random woman off of the side of the street. They, as well as HYDRA, have the ability to scrub a person completely off of the radar, and nobody is gonna be looking for a nobody."
Steve was firm, and Bucky knew the man had to be shaking his head at him as Steve slightly scolded him.
"That's not true. There's always going to be someone...we just don't know if that someone is alive or dead. According to that book we found, she's been an active soldier for HYDRA since 1985, and who knows how long she was there before she was created. 30 years is a long time."
"Yeah? Try 70."
Steve was quiet, and Bucky apologized quietly, revealing gently.
"Sorry...I'm sorry...it's just...it's a lot."
Steve's voice was gentle with patience, making Bucky furrow his brows as he ran a hand through his hair.
"I know, Bucky, but I'm with you till the end of the line. You know you can call me at any time and talk to me."
"I know. I'm with you till the end of the line, too, pal."
Steve then groaned gently when the sound of an explosion went through the phone, and he was quick to inform Bucky.
"Hey, I gotta go. Queens just crashed in. Literally. Call me if you get any updates, and I'll call you if I get one first."
Before Bucky could respond, the line went dead, and Bucky shook his head and slipped his phone back into his pocket. Walking back into the lab, Bucky came to stand in front of the cryostasis pod.
Hands within his pockets, he stared at the woman, gazing at the scars that covered her lower jaw and neck, and he watched as the live feed of her brain began to become active again.
An alert showed up along with a video, and Bucky was astounded to realize that it was a live feed of the dream the woman was currently having. It was a bit jarring to watch, bits and pieces becoming jumbled and blurry, and then it began to become clear.
The woman was standing before a man that Bucky knew very well, his face crystal clear to him and sparking rage deep within his chest. Bucky watched as Rollins spoke to her, and though there was no audio to be able to hear what he was saying, Bucky knew it wasn't pleasant.
Rollins seemed angry, walking back and forth in front of her before striking her down with a baton, the view shifting to the floor as the soldier fell and blood splattered onto the ground as if the woman had coughed.
From there, it only got worse, and Bucky had to turn away the second the soldier began to unbuckle the man's belt with bloodied hands, his anger becoming too much. Anger, regret, recognition, it was too much for Bucky to handle.
He could feel his chest restricting, could feel the oxygen becoming harder to breathe, and a tingling sensation began to grow within his toes and fingers.
Flashes began to appear within his own mind, images of the Enforcer's hosing his naked body with ice-cold water before they began to touch him; reaching for places he didn't want to be touched.
He could feel their teeth in his flesh, could hear the echoes of their taunts as they laughed menacingly, and Bucky squeezed his eyes shut as he began to tremble and feel disgusted by his own body. A voice within his head began to speak to him gently; familiar and comforting as it guided him.
Breathe, Bucky.
In and out. Slowly. You are not their tool anymore. They can't hurt you. You're free.
Bucky repeated the words in his head over and over, as many times as he could.
I'm free. I'm free. I'm free. I am James Buchanan Barnes. I am Bucky.
Swallowing thickly, it took a little while for his heartrate to settle, and he stood upright, rubbing his chest slightly. Closing his eyes, Bucky could feel the tears starting to well up within his eyes, and he took a few more deep breaths.
Turning back to the screen, he was thankful that the image was gone. Instead, the woman seemed to be dreaming of a wooded area, the point-of-view looking down at a plaque that was placed within stone In the peripheral vision, there was a little kid's hand that was grabbing at one of the flowers that was surrounding the plaque.
It was so peculiar to Bucky to the point that he was completely jarred out of his panic. Squinting, he began to realize that this plaque was familiar, especially when the name on the plaque became clear.
Meltzer Woods.
He knew that name and place. In fact, Bucky could recall the trails like the back of his hand, could still smell the wildflowers, and if Bucky really thought hard enough, he could still hear the way his mother scolded him as Rebecca became upset by Bucky teasing her.
"Come, now, James. Leave your little sister alone."
He could still remember the way Rebecca had squealed, though time had taken away what exactly she had panicked over. He recalled that his mother had placed her hands on her hips, giving him a stern gaze when Bucky had talked back to her; exasperated as Rebecca began to cry.
"But Ma, we're in the woods! Of course there's going to be bugs!"
"Now, don't you give me that lip. You don't want your father to hear, do you?"
The memory slowly faded, but Bucky was too floored to care.
What had the soldier been doing in Shelbyville, Indiana? Did she know the place like he did? Was this from a time before she had been with HYDRA?
"You look as though you have seen a ghost!"
Shuri was back, giving him an odd look as Bucky stared at the woman in the cryostasis pod, and all Bucky could respond with was-
"I think I did."
-
STORY NOTES: Shuri has been working endlessly to get past HYDRA's programming. She is verbally and visibly frustrated, which Bucky becomes concerned about as he greets her. Shuri reveals that she had lost track of time because of HYDRA's programming continuously throwing up more firewalls that try to activate the soldier every time she managed to break through another.
Bucky comments that HYDRA seems to have updated their algorithms since his departure. Shuri then shows Bucky a live feed of the digital rendition of the soldier's brain, telling Bucky to list off what he observes. Bucky observes that the activity within the brain looks like a lightning storm, which Shuri agrees and elaborates.
It is revealed that the soldier is currently dreaming despite being in cryostasis, and Shuri reveals that she has developed a technology that allows her to be able to show what a person is dreaming about. Using this technology on the soldier, however, reveals the gruesome treatment HYDRA inflicted and the brutality of the Winter Soldier.
Shuri's technology is able to access and project dreams in the same way, and she shows Bucky a memory the soldier had about receiving a medal. Bucky recognizes the medal, and it's revealed that the Winter Soldier had been involved with the CIA at some point on a professional level.
T'Challa makes a recommendation to Bucky to get in touch with Steve, and Bucky agrees. He reflects on the advancements of communications technology and how he had to speak to an operator to call his sister when he was still int he ARMY. Bucky then tells Steve about what Shuri had found, and he also reveals that the woman is dreaming.
After his phone call, Bucky goes back to the lab and is angry when he is shown a memory that the soldier is currently remembering of her Handler, which Bucky recognizes as Jack Rollins. Bucky begins to experience a PTSD episode where he begins to remember when Enforcers sexually assaulted him during a hose-down.
Once he calms down, Bucky recognizes a place that the soldier is now dreaming of: Meltzer Woods. He recalls a memory of him, his parents, and his little sister going to the trails all of the time since Meltzer Woods is located in his hometown of Shelbyville, Indiana, and when Shuri comes in and comments about how Bucky looks as though he's seen a 'ghost', he comments that he might have. End Scene.
TRANSLATIONS:
Isithunzi - Xhosa for [the] shadow/shade
TAGLIST: @mgchaser @tilldeathripsusapart @vicmc624 @aash3
#bucky barnes x reader#james buchanan barnes x reader#james bucky barnes x reader#winter soldier x reader#the winter soldier x reader#bucky x reader#bucky barnes#james buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes#the winter soldier#winter soldier#marvel#marvel x reader#captain america#captain america x reader
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The award for god damn my mouth drop like a cartoon cat goes to SY but u know . I know he doesn’t beat around the bush. However, was I thinking he be like this . And shit I can say from experience and studies that a lot he doing goes right with it. I mean sad thing and it’s really not just one person to pin point who could of fix this besides Thor town folks and trailer trash mom ( now idk where she grew up but hey it’s not me but cliches) that could of help. It’s sad because for her case she probably isn’t a slut while Sy is crazy he just type that knows it but tries to be all wooo man I mean I’m not crazy I’m caring but if u ever mess with me then haha u be getting a dead cat in your mail box or a stalker for life but wooooooo I’m just caring and being a human . Shit pat on the back and you good is looking out a simple box of stuff is looking out non stop poof Sy there is not helping out it’s stalking but bc this town is so small folks won’t see it. Oh he lucky that town size of a city block.
“On pay day, you go down to cash your check then give most of it right back, parsing it out for your various expenses. At the end of it, you have even less than the month before. You don't get it. Thing's only seem to get worse; not just money, but your body” honey this statement so spot on huh one a check back in the day like your time period AU money u get paid can last a month or last time now it’s like a blink poof gone and your body lord I’m only in my 20s and the issues I’m having at my age blown minds.
Sy just always there and idk why but it’s big ( lord I’m drooling and have not finish this thought) well as a whole get always with the sneak attack shit I’m barley 5 foot and I still have issues . Bc I’m too short they turn around and still don’t see me I gotta jump be like Boo. Anyway still damn “. For a big man, he sure can sneak up on you. “ also going back to my girl you got yourself a lifetime 20/20 level stalker. Hahaha way you keep doing Thor I can’t “ It isn't his fault he reminds you of that spoiled deadbeat. “ I wonder still wonder because he hasn’t been front with her which I feel it coming feel it coming . ( still gonna be shock) but on the why he gave her a reason which I’m gonna point out in a second but can “ I don't like to carry 'round debts. Let me buy you one." be one I mean it be least crazy one . And if not does he pray on pregnant women because of well a lot tumblr taught me a lot about kinks but because how easy the target she or how her emotions not there or pregnancy brain. “ You really don't get this man. You're no longer so sure that Thor sent him to check up on you, not since your last interaction. In fact, the wingman seemed more spiteful of him than you” also that he was so close to Thor which questioned his character like so he mad bc what Thor did or he use Thor for some reason. Because in small time I can’t see some friends falling out so easy bc hello who else u got .
This again makes me feel bad for her because while Sy seems nice and it your name was the fluff you don’t ask for I be all aww so cute and romantic but no nothing ever good and sweet it’s an huh my leg said in a sponge bob character voice. Like never so simple and sweet but damn how bad I felt reading this “ You glance over and find Sy watching you as he stands in the queue. His gaze makes you want to wilt.. Not even Thor looked at you like that. Don't be silly. Sy is just being a dutiful guy, helping out the town slut in her time of need. You won't be duped. Not when you can hear your name being twisted on tongues at that very moment” and fact he open ( after 1st day seeing her) mention he read books about pregnancy. It makes her wall slowly start to crack. “ He suggested before he's been reading things about pregnancy. You just can't picture him with a copy of What To Expect When You're Expecting.”
HAAH I’m sure many mention this but lord can you imagine “ He returns with a black coffee and a rather colourful donut. They don't match. Bitter and sweet all at once. “ But no the way that he watches her even down to her fingers. Or what way her EYES 👀 may go. He’s watching her as if I only watching tho his pray but as if he I don’t know still in war zone, looking through his sniper or goggles, watching his enemy. But still huh I hate it the perfect crazy stalker but idk even talking to her not at her or down to her .
AND HE SO HONESTLY BLUNT like okay he playing a game of 1s and 00s and we doing tic tac toe. Still like , “ "Yes, I'd like to take care of you. And the little one, if you'll let me….. His eyes flick up to the ceiling and his cheek ticks as he gives the question genuine thought. When he looks at you again, his face is set, "because I want to." that to me feels ( because not 1st time) he thinking on how to say it like before with the honest but down play it. In away which is why I feel there more.
Called to Duty 4
Warnings: non/dubcon, pregnancy, abandonment, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Characters: Captain Syverson
Summary: You struggle to move on from the biggest mistake of your life but find it hard to forget among the whispers of a small town.
Part of the Backwoods AU
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.
The bank is as ever anxiety inducing. On pay day, you go down to cash your check then give most of it right back, parsing it out for your various expenses. At the end of it, you have even less than the month before. You don't get it. Thing's only seem to get worse; not just money, but your body. Every day you wake up, you feel even more crummy than the last.
Your hopes of a treat at the cafe are dashed. You give a longing look as you walk by and peer through the window. You can smell cinnamon and coffee. You're strict non-caffeinated, doctor's orders, but a decaf would be amazing with one of those cinnamon buns. Ugh, damn, why are you torturing yourself?
You turn to continue down the street but barely dodge out of the way of another pedestrian. He makes sure you can't pass as he mirrors you, sidestepping to block your way. You sigh as you step back and look Sy in the face. For a big man, he sure can sneak up on you.
"Hey," he flips up his dark sunglasses, "how're you feeling?"
You stare up at him defiantly, not quite bold enough to glare. He hasn't done anything wrong, he's just persistent. It isn't his fault he reminds you of that spoiled deadbeat. Or that your emotions are volatile, one moment teary eyed, the next blazing hot with rage.
"Fine, thanks for asking," you shrug, "Sy, I gotta--"
"I owe you a cookie," he points to the cafe window at his shoulder.
You blink. You remember the cracked shortbread. You forgot about that. The mention of the sugary treat makes your stomach growl and your mouth water.
"No, you don't--"
"I do," he insists, "I don't like to carry 'round debts. Let me buy you one."
"I got it free," you say, "it's not a big deal."
"It is to me," he counters, "I was heading in anyway."
You stare at him. You really don't get this man. You're no longer so sure that Thor sent him to check up on you, not since your last interaction. In fact, the wingman seemed more spiteful of him than you. You look across the steeet to the pharmacy then back at him. The aromas wafting out with each swing of the door have you ravenous.
"I can't stay long, I gotta work," you say.
His cheeks twitch, as if he tamps back a smile before it can bloom, "after you."
He gesture behind you to the door. You turn and lead the way. He reaches past you to open the door before you can and you enter ahead of him. The din within is lively and the air is warm from the crowd and the employees steaming out orders behind the counter.
"Wanna find a seat?" He suggests, "you should rest."
You open your mouth to argue but think better of it. You'd rather not stand in the clustered line. You nod and head off to claim the table by the window. There isn't much left.
You pull out the chair and brace your back as you sit with a sigh. You glance over and find Sy watching you as he stands in the queue. His gaze makes you want to wilt, instead you turn your attention out the window.
Not even Thor looked at you like that. Don't be silly. Sy is just being a dutiful guy, helping out the town slut in her time of need. You won't be duped. Not when you can hear your name being twisted on tongues at that very moment.
You sit and wait, wring the strap of your small purse. You watch the street. If it wasn't for the people, Hammer Ford would be serene.
A plate clinks in front of you and a porcelain mug as well. It isn't a cookie and you can smell the herbal tea's rosy flavour. You peer up at Sy as he gives an apologetic look.
"Cookies are still baking so I got you a cinnamon bun," he says.
"And tea?" You add.
"Can't have one without the other," he says, "no coffee for you."
"Yeah, I... I know."
You could laugh. He suggested before he's been reading things about pregnancy. You just can't picture him with a copy of What To Expect When You're Expecting.
"Thank you," you smile as best you can.
"Gotta get mine, be back," he excuses himself and marches back to the counter.
You look down at the gooey iced draped spiral. You really shouldn't. Not only accept his misspent generosity but indulge in the excess sugar. Yet your hormones won't let you resist. You can at least wait until he's sitting down.
He returns with a black coffee and a rather colourful donut. They don't match. Bitter and sweet all at once. He sits and takes off his hat and sunglasses.
You put your purse to the edge of the table and rest your hand on your stomach, doing your best to resist the animalistic need to tear apart the dessert. His eyes follow the movement and you quickly drop your arm. You don't even think when you do it, it's just a habit.
"You-" he begins.
"Wh--" you find your voice at the same time.
You both stop, hesitant. He nods and gestures to you, lifting his cup as he watches you intently. That's new too. Thor never listened much, only talked a lot. Besides, you weren't exactly together for the conversation.
"Sy," you clear your throat and sit forward as much as you can, "why are you following me around?"
His brows form a vee, "I'm... it's not... I'm tryna help."
"Okay, but why?"
His eyes flick up to the ceiling and his cheek ticks as he gives the question genuine thought. When he looks at you again, his face is set, "because I want to."
"You want to?"
"Yes, I'd like to take care of you. And the little one, if you'll let me."
You can't help your snort, "we hardly know each other."
"Isn't for lack of trying," he taps his fingers on his mug. "Aren't ya gonna try the bun?"
"I will," you assure him. He's trying to distract you and it's close to working. The cinnamon is driving you mad. "A baby is a lot of work and... I'm not your responsibility. I know Thor is your friend."
"Was," he interjects.
"Sure," you accept his decisive declaration, "but that doesn't mean you have to worry about his mistakes."
"Mistakes? I don't think so," he says.
"Well, it's not exactly planned," you scoff, "Sy, really I don't feel right about you doing so much."
"Wouldn't feel right not doing it," he shrugs his burly shoulders.
“But why?” You nearly exclaim. You just want to know why he cares so much, about you?
He leans forward, elbows on the table, “they talk about me too, ya know? Since I got back from... serving. They say I’m f—crazy, or whatever. It wasn’t easy or nothin’ over there but I’m not nuts. Not like they say. Just like you’re not some slut, forgive me for saying it out loud.”
You look down at the table and exhale. So he hears as much as anyone else about you. At least he’s honest. At least he isn’t joining them. You purse your lips and reach for the cinnamon bun, unable to restrain yourself any longer.
“For what it’s worth,” you raise your eyes to meet his, “I never thought you were... unwell, or whatever they say.”
His cheeks pinch, another suppressed smile, and he tilts his head, “I’m only happy to hear you think of me.”
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sauron's corruption
i feel there is some sort of misconception that morgoth like, had sauron in a dungeon until he became evil, sorta like he did to elves and other creatures. that abuse made him evil somehow.
this is categorically not canon -- even to RoP. look, im not saying two evil people working for each other for Millenia never did bad shit to each other. selfish people can hurt even those they are close to, so it isn't unlikely - although never stated. we can debate wholesome vs toxic angbang dynamics separately, it's not relevant.
but like, sauron wasn't tortured into spying on aüle and betraying the valar in Almaren. He admired Melkor for being more powerful and more efficient and joined and spied on them on his behalf. "for even then he had secret friends and spies among the Maiar whom he had converted to his cause, and of these the chief, as after became known, was Sauron, a great craftsman of the household of Aule." "While Morgoth still stood, Sauron did not seek his own supremacy, but worked and schemed for another, desiring the triumph of Melkor, whom in the beginning he had adored. He thus was often able to achieve things, first conceived by Melkor, which his master did not or could not complete in the furious haste of his malice."
and he had a part in all the evil things melkor did from that point onward. he wasn't some unwilling participant. his only redeeming characteristic according to Tolkien was his capacity to be servile (which tolkien said he lost by the Second Age -- the temple of Melkor was not built b/c Sauron felt the need to pay worship, but because he thought that was a good tool to destroy Numenor).
dunno... i do like sauron redemption headcanons for the end of the world, but anything that implies that he blames morgoth or curses him for who he is as if he has some claim on extracting revenge on morgoth rings empty to me. He's never expressed this sentiment.
Sauron didn't become evil because he was punished into being evil. morgoth isn't to blame, only insofar as he was there for them to be evil together. he isn't among those who needs to extract revenge from morgoth to achieve justice. also -- even when he had good intentions* he reverted to evil again in the second age, and this was AFTER morgoth was in the void. he doesn't need morgoth around to do evil. *which is questionable: "So - as soon as [Melkor] has mentally rejected repentance - he (just like Sauron afterwards on this model) makes a mockery of self-abasement and repentance."
the most compelling dagor dagorath headcanons to me is for them *both* to be restored, because what is the difference, at that point? are we gonna argue 99% evil can be reformed but 99.9% should not be? (also arguably sauron was evil for a lot longer than morgoth, even if he was slightly less evil for being his servant and a much less powerful being...) The real issue is what is the nature of Sauron's destruction, can be be remade? Melkor was never destroyed, his presence is suffused throughout Arda. In some sense, you need to "fix" this discrepancy to heal Arda. Anyway, i end with this quote which I can't quite decipher but echoes my thoughts above:
"[Arda Healed --] Arda without Melkor, or rather without the effects of his becoming evil; but is the source from which all ideas of order and perfection are derived. 'Arda Healed' is thus both the completion of the 'Tale of Arda' which has taken up all the deeds of Melkor, but must according to the promise of Iluvatar be seen to be good; and also a state of redress and bliss beyond the 'circles of the world'.)" dunno even fake theology is hard.
All quotes from Morgoth's ring.
#sauron#morgoth#melkor#mairon#silmarillion#morgoths ring#rings of power#the rings of power#tolkien#my meta#trop meta#the silmarillion
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norstappen + wings or animal parts (catboys👀)
catboys brand new thing for me let's go (from this prompt list)
The first thing Lando registers is fingers gently raking through his curls and then trailing, even more carefully, over his ears. Thumb and forefinger tracing smooth up to the very point of one ear, and then down through his hair and across his head to tenderly stroke the other.
It's heavenly—so good that Lando squeezes his eyes shut a little tighter, nestles closer to the hand as he feels a purr building heavy in his chest. He thinks he could fall back to sleep for hours like this, with gentle pets and the rich, comforting smell of Max deep in his nose, around and all over him.
Only. Only Lando's senses begin to really kick in then. He feels the steady rise and fall of a chest beneath him. It echoes with a thunderous purr and is covered in a spectacularly soft t-shirt that absolutely smells like Max Verstappen.
Probably because Max Verstappen is wearing it.
Lando's eyes burst open as he springs up and back onto his knees.
"Good morning," Max says. His features are still a little bogged down with sleep, but he's smiling easily. Evidently he feels more calm and collected than Lando does right about now. (But when doesn't he?)
In fact, the calmest, most collected thing Lando can manage is a weak, "Uh."
Max's ears twist forward a little in amusement. Given the circumstances, it helps Lando not to take it personally when he says, "I think most people would say something like, 'good morning to you too.'"
Lando laughs weakly. "Good morning to you too."
He looks around the room and tries to find his bearings, mostly because the alternative would be looking at Max. It's not that he doesn't remember coming here—they'd had quite a bit to drink at Jimmy'z before stumbling into a car, and then stumbling into Max's apartment-- bedroom-- bed. They'd had a lot of fun. Funny how the things they'd only ever gotten up to in cramped toilets and aboard Air Max were suddenly so much less strenuous when they were able to spread out and take their time.
And then when it was over, Lando had sworn up and down that he ought to head home. Except he was worn out, obviously, and Max was warm and comfortable and stroking absent-mindedly at his tail in this way that Lando always likes (with people he likes) and so he'd made a fatal mistake:
Just gonna rest my eyes a few minutes.
Now the sun is stretching out across the bed and Max is looking at Lando like he's a bit of an idiot, which he does a lot. But he's also looking quite fond about it, which he does a lot, too.
It's all very confusing.
"I just feel bad," Lando explains lamely. "Meant to get out of your way."
"Didn't I tell you you could stay?"
Well, yeah, but that was just like. a nice gesture, Lando knows those when he hears them. Some tender part of him on the inside wilts at the very thought, and then he winces as he feels his ears wilt a little, too. His tail flickers weakly behind him, but maybe Max can't see that. Maybe he can keep from being too obscenely obvious. "I mean, yeah."
"Well I wouldn't have said that if you'd be in my way." Max stretches his limbs out with a soft groan, making his shirt ride up just enough to expose his belly. Lando barely looks – honest – but when he meets Max's gaze again, he's confronted with a deeper sort of amusement in his eyes. "I kept trying to tell you my meeting isn't 'til this afternoon anyway. I've got loads of time."
"Okay."
"And even if I had to leave early, you could stick around, okay?" Lando suddenly registers a gentle thump of Max's tail against the mattress as his expression grows playful. "If it makes you smell more like me, I'd never complain."
Lando wrinkles his nose. "Maybe I'd just roll around on all your furniture and make it smell like me."
As though to make his point, Lando flops backward and burrows into the covers at Max's feet. At first blush, at least, it's not working; he can practically feel Max's scent nestling into him deeper and deeper.
But Max giggles and springs up after Lando, slotting comfortably on top of him. "Why not both?"
"Yeah," Lando breathes, already a little thoughtless as Max ducks down to kiss him because Max is promptly petting him again, which is unfair play. There's not even any sort of expectation or immediate wanting in it—it's just soft, and a little tender, and when Max pulls away Lando misses it at once.
"Now would you stop being weird?" Max asks. "I'll make us some breakfast and then maybe I can blow you again."
Lando nearly chokes on his tongue. "Yeah, alright."
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mutual liked the gripe post which reminded me to write it. okay hi im pyxis and im gonna talk about a trope the isat community falls back on a lot in writing that bugs me okay thanks
this is gonna be long and probably annoying so im putting it under a cut. open at ur own risk. heavy spoiler warning thanks.
okay. how do i start this. a thing ive seen in quite a few fics and theories, and its that the islanders are directly- and purposefully- responsible for their own disappearance. usually i see it framed as "the islanders made themselves disappear/attempted to wish away knowledge of wishcraft because it was dangerous" and like. hm! i dont think so.
take this with a grain of salt as ur local cracker but considering the framing of the island's disappearance- abrupt, sudden, disastrous- something everyone was talking about- the disappearance definitely falls more in line with the metaphor of some sort of disaster or, as is a significant theme in the game, colonialism/imperialism and the subjugation of cultures.
this was- 100%- not the islander's faults, and blaming them completely misses the point of the matter.
while people can say wishcraft is dangerous- and really, it is, there's no getting around it- it also seems like it was an important piece of the Island's culture and based off the few islanders we meet, probably used fairly regularly in day to day life. siffrin, for example, literally uses it on the regular without even realizing it. the knowledge of how to do it properly is probably pretty ingrained into the average Islander's brain. to them, it's just a fact of life! i mean, literally all the scriptures we see on wishcraft (and astronomy) ingame are written in the Islander language. they were The Experts on this stuff. (not to mention that this proves the knowledge was in the general public's grasp, even if it required knowledge of their language to learn about)
so it just doesnt make sense that they'd wish something so important to them away like that- sure there was probably discourse amongst them about the dangers of these practices, but they would know enough to know attempt something as risky as, say, wishing away all knowledge of their country or any one big thing. not to mention wishcraft is weird- technically speaking, siffrin's wish probably wouldve had a lot less effect if all the energy of the failed wishes hadnt culminated into their successful one.
and before you bring up how op the kings wish is- remember that a good 75% of the game is exposing all the ways the other characters foil siffrin, including the king. the king, who supposedly made a wish to freeze vaugarde- but did he?
a lot of the king's dialogue, when he isnt gushing about vaugarde and how much he loves it, is about his grief surrounding the loss of his own country. when given the chance, he'll grasp at any opportunity to remember anything about it, even if its putting trust in the hands of a stranger who is literally here to kill him for help. its pretty clear to anyone with a brain that he's not being ingenuine about this.
and, see, siffrin's true wish was masked over by their other wish. its one of the game's big red herrings. yadda yadda yadda how do we know that the king's true wish was really the "preserve" vaugarde, huh?
"where are you going with this we've gotten wildly off track" no we havent! get fucked! i think the kings true wish was the remember his country- and, yknow, there's probably a fair few islanders remaining. probably yearning to grasp even a fragment of their lost culture, hoping and dreaming and wishing for answers. not unlike the king, perhaps? perhaps a culmination of half baked wishes being fueled by one, fully formed wish?
yeah, you get where im going with this.
so perhaps wishcraft isnt quite as strong as we assume it is? that the soul intent of one person isn't necessarily going to give you godlike power in most cases- mind we're not quite grasping the full scope due to loops. Whole Situation. but that's not why we're here.
if the Islanders had enough faith in the rest of the world to provide them with their wishcraft knowledge- then i doubt they wouldve wished themselves or their knowledge away. nobody would do that.
and if the rest of the world did, indeed, have access to that knowledge, then there's a fair chance some other group could be responsible. a group who doesnt even recall their own responsibility because it's been wiped from their memories.
like, idk.... a more on the nose version how colonizer countries bury their own history of misdeeds from the general populace?
idk man. idk. just feels weird to me that so many people seem to have immediately gone towards the Cultural Suicide route for some reason. you have to be willing to acknowledge that the isat universe is definitely not the perfect, pristine world you think it is. and maybe folks just need to be willing to acknowledge the actual brutality the metaphor is alluding to.
after all, an entire island- all of its peoples and cultures- disappeared.
#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#in stars and time#the colonialism/imperialism metaphor felt pretty obvious to me once i'd gathered the pieces.#im surprised so many people have failed to put it together.
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Waking up with them | Valo x reader
Characters: Yoru, Gekko, Chamber, Phoenix, Viper and Reyna
Warnings: Gn reader, fluff, kissing, english isn't my first language
A/n: I really wanna write more this year so I'm currently working on a request rules post. Hope that I can finish it soon but I also wanna make it aesthetic so we'll see. <3
Yoru
Yoru’s usually the first one up, like 95% of the time, but getting up? that’s a whole different story. He’s not a morning person, so he tends to stay in bed for quite a while. He just loves how quiet the early morning is, just sitting there watching the sunlight illuminate the room. It’s one of the moments where he lets himself soften up a bit, just looking at you peacefully sleeping.
When it comes to waking you up, he’s not exactly the gentlest, but he’s got his own sweet way of doing it. He might brush your hair out of your face or lean in close to directly say something like, “Oi, wake up already.” in your ear.
If you’re being extra stubborn , he’ll start teasing you, tickling you or covering you collarbone and neck with kisses and hickeys until you finally groan and get up, which just makes him smirk.
On lazy mornings, he might stay in bed with you longer than usual, leaning on one elbow while he traces random patterns on your skin with his fingers or just holding you close to him.
And he espacially loves those quiet moments for a bit of light teasing with you. If you suggest staying in bed even longer, he’s secretly all for it, though he’ll pretend it’s just to humor you.
On busier days he'll make sure you're both up and ready to go on time. While Yoru’s not a morning person, so he can be a little grumpy, but he still takes charge in this situation. If you’re dragging your feet, don’t be surprised if he wraps his arms around you from behind and growls something like, “Come on, let’s go, slowpoke.”
Yoru doesn’t usually do the whole “affectionate” thing, but mornings are a bit different. He loves noticing the little details about you, like how messy your hair gets or the way you bury your face in the pillow. Every now and then, he’ll pull you into a kiss that starts out slow and lazy but quickly gets heated, it’s his way of soaking in your presence before the day kicks off.
Gekko
You’re usually the first one up since Gekko tends to sleep like a rock. He’s often sprawled out across the bed, one arm thrown over you making it harder for you to get up.
If you’re the one waking him up, it’s probably by tracing circles on his chest or sneaking soft kisses on his cheek. When he finally stirs, his first move is to pull you closer, mumbling in that half-asleep, raspy voice, “Five more minutes…”
If he’s the one waking you up (on the rare occasions), it’s really soft and playful. He’ll kiss your forehead and grin as he whispers, “Good morning, beautiful.”
On more lazy mornings, Gekko loves staying in bed with you as long as you’ll let him. His little buddies usually hop onto the bed to join in the cuddles, making it even cozier.
Breakfast tends to be slightly chaotic with everyone involved, but despite that he can never get enough of your laugh as you both try (and maybe fail) to cook together.
Even on busy days, Gekko’s mornings are a bit slow but always shows his care for you. If you aren't going out together he’ll make sure you’re all set before he heads out, giving you a long kiss and throwing in a “Don’t miss me too much.”
Physical touch is totally Gekko’s thing, so he’s always finding a way to be close, wrapping an arm around you or resting his chin on your shoulder.
On those slower mornings, he loves whispering sweet things into your ear or shares whatever random dream he had. Sometimes those moments turn into soft, passionate kisses that make it really hard to actually get out of bed.
Chamber
Chamber’s always up early. By the time you wake up, he’s either already perfectly dressed or sipping his espresso looking like straight out of a café ad. He always loves watching you wake up, you're groggy appearance making a soft smile appear on his lips.
If you’re still asleep but need to get up, he leans in to press a kiss to your temple or gently nudge your shoulder while murmuring, “Mon amour, it’s time to wake up.” On the rare occasion you’re the one waking him, you’ll catch him looking entirely relaxed, his hair a little messy, his whole vibe softer than usual.
On lazy mornings, Chamber doesn’t mind indulging. He’ll stay in bed with you, running his hands over your body or lightly tracing your lips with his thumb. And of course, breakfast is brought to you, he insists on spoiling you, no arguments allowed.
On busy mornings, he’s all about efficiency. He’s never really in a rush, but everything he does feels intentional. He’ll help you get ready, whether it’s tying your tie or brushing lint off your shirt. Before heading out, he’ll kiss your hand, a quiet little promise that he’ll be back for you.
Chamber has this way of taking care of you that feels so effortless. Whether it’s handing you your morning coffee or pulling you in for a tender kiss, it’s just second nature to him. On slower mornings, he’s completely unhurried, his touch lingers, his kisses teasing and light or deep enough to leave you completely breathless.
Phoenix
Phoenix is usually the first one up, full of energy and ready to go. But if he’s had a late night, he’ll totally sleep in and cling to you like you’re his favorite teddy bear.
If he wakes up before you, he’ll playfully shake you awake, announcing something like, “Babe, the world needs us” On the flip side, if you’re the one waking him, he’ll groggily pull you back into bed with a cheeky grin, muttering, “Just a few minutes longer.”
Lazy mornings with Phoenix are always fun. He might suggest breakfast in bed or turn on some music and tries to get you to dance with him. You’ll probably end up in his arms, laughing as he spins you around the kitchen.
On busy mornings, he’s quick but always thoughtful, making sure that both of you are ready for the day. He’ll give you a goodbye kiss with a wink and throw in a playful “Don’t forget to miss me.”
Phoenix always wants to make sure there is a smile on your face, whether it’s cracking a silly joke or surprising you with a quick kiss. On slower days, he loves nuzzling into your neck and covering you in kisses until you’re giggling. His touch is always incredibly warm, and his affection usually ends in some flirty banter that makes you unwilling to get out of bed.
Viper
Viper’s always up first, sticking to her routine. She loves the quiet silence of the early morning and usually lets you sleep a bit longer.
When she does wake you, it’s gentle, a soft touch on your shoulder and a calm, “It’s time to get up.” On the rare occasion she lets herself relax, she might lean down and press a kiss to your forehead, her lips lingering just a bit longer than usual.
Lazy mornings with Viper feel special. She really treasures those rare chances to just slow down, maybe reading a book while you rest your head on her lap, or sitting with you on the balcony, quietly enjoying the morning together.
On busy mornings, her routine is very efficient, but she always makes sure you’re ready too. If you’re dragging behind, she’ll guide you with a gentle hand on your back and a firm but caring tone to keep you moving.
Viper’s way of showing affection is subtle, but it means so much. She might brush her fingers along your jaw or let her hand rest on yours during breakfast, these little gestures that speak volumes. And when her control slips on rare mornings, her kisses get deeper and more intense, leaving you breathless and wanting more.
Reyna
Reyna likes to wake up on her own terms. If there’s nothing pressing, she’ll happily stay in bed with you, soaking up the warmth and comfort for as long as she can.
When she’s the one waking you, it’s with a low, “Good morning, mi amor” as her lips trail softly along your shoulder. But if you’re the one waking her, don’t expect to leave easily, she’ll pull you back into her arms with a sly smile, teasing, “Leaving already?”
Lazy mornings with Reyna are pure bliss. She loves taking it slow, having intimate conversations, and sharing lingering touches. Breakfast feels almost luxurious, with her feeding you bites of food or sipping her coffee while sitting close to you so that she can touch you.
On busy mornings, she’s more composed, moving at her own pace. But when her eyes land on you, there’s always a softness there. Before heading out, she’ll pull you in for a kiss, deep and searing, her hand gently cradling your face.
Reyna’s protective side really comes out in the early mornings through tender gestures, tucking your hair behind your ear, stroking your cheek, or whispering sweet affirmations. Her kisses effortlessly go from soft and sweet to passionate, leaving you feeling cherished and utterly adored.
Divider by: @saradika-graphics
#gn reader#x reader#gender neutral#headcanons#fluff#valorant headcanons#valorant x reader#valo x reader#reyna x reader#viper x reader#phoenix x reader#chamber x reader#gekko x reader#yoru x reader#valorant phoenix#valorant fanfiction#valorant viper#Sabine Callas#Jamie Adeyemi#Kiritani Ryo#Vincent Fabron#valorant#valo#reyna headcanons#viper headcanons#phoenix headcanons#chamber headcanons#gekko headcanons#yoru headcanons
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Hi Queen! I wanted ask: If Percy does not want to have children any time soon, how would all the yandere react to it in their actions and responses? Maybe Percy keeps pushing it off. Considering if they are ready to have children. Also, maybe if thrown in she just wants to return back to her original world. Anyway, thank you for your lovely chapters! I am dying for act 2….and Poseidon! But, still a Posey (is that the ship name for Poseidon x Percy?) and Percades lover here!
unfortunately for percy, children are EXPECTED of her 💀 ofc, she can do what she's already doing in the fic and secretly chug aphrodite's tea as a plan b alternative, and some of the yans would just assume "oh, i guess because she's half human, it won't work 😞 but that's fine, once a safe way to ascend you has been found, we can get to the baby making! 💖" (this is not including the fact that loki and beelzebub already KNOW she can have kids with them in her state)
but lets say she's already been ascended and has been married to the yans!
poseidon: would not listen to her. it's her duty as a wife to provide children and he WILL have those kids. in his eyes, his poor daughter didn't have a mother around to teach her the ways of how to be a proper goddess and wife, but that's okay because daddy will teach her 🥺💖
hades: would just go "awww, you're so silly sweetie 💖" like poseidon, he'd just chalk it up to her being unaware of how things worked because she didn't have a mother to teach her. hades will just delicately (and patronizingly tbh) explain what was expected of her now that they were wedded; as his wife, she must bear his children. so simple, right? now time for her to lay back down on the bed and take him like a good little wifey should 🥰
beelzebub: actually wouldn't mind! he's very content with the fact that he finally married the love of his life so he'll be okay if she doesn't want kids right away! he's more than happy to enjoy his time with her and her alone. he's aware that this isn't the proper way to do things, but he literally doesn't give a shit. kids can come later! he loves the idea of having kids with her, but at the same time he's also terrified. he knows he's pure evil, that he's a horrible monster, he's literally the DEVIL after all so he feels like any kids he has with her would only hurt her while she's carrying them (like bella with rheumatoid arthritis)
anubis: a heartbroken puppy 🥺 "what do you MEAN you don't wanna carry a whole litter of 4-9 babies in your womb?????? does that not sound absolutely AMAZING to you????? think about our poor sweet kebi, she feels so lonely, she wants a baby sibling sooooo bad, would you really deprive her the chance of being a big sister??????? 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺" *cue kebi tugging at her mommy's skirt looking up at her like 🥺* he doesn't give a shit about propriety, he just wants to breed percy 😂
cú chulainn: the children will be born from hate sex. he's gonna take her rejection as an insult and be sooo offended 😂 "oh you don't wanna get knocked up by me? fine, go get knocked up by your uncle then! or maybe you wanna give your dear old dad a go?? how about ur cousin, hmm? GO ON THEN, SEE IF I CARE 😠" and then he actually loses his shit when she tries to walk out on him 😭
loki: he wouldn't actually mind it, he has a lot of kids already! sure he'd love to breed her, but its fine if it never happens. BUT if percy ever says "i don't want kids" then he'll just breed her harder just to mess with her cuz he's a piece of shit like that 😭
apollo: "oh you don't wants kids? 😭 that's fine 😭 really, it's okay 😭 i totally understand 😭😭😭😭😭" and then he leaves to go to his art room with all his fictional perpollo children that he made up and just start BAWLING. afterwards, he's gonna do whatever he can to make her change her mind CUZ HE WANTS THOSE PERPOLLO BABIES 👹👹👹👹👹
and omg i didn't see the last part about her telling them that she wants to go home, but that's just a terrible idea because all of them would just destroy her universe as punishment 😭😭😭
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Infatuated ⭑˚💌⭑ 𝑎 𝑓𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑒𝑛𝑑
yandere!bnha x reader
yandere, reverse harem, bnha x fem!reader, slowburn, slowburn yandere
Your Quirk is rather unique. It plays out almost like a game, giving you missions and goals that help you become stronger. On top of that, you also have the ability to charm those around you. It sounds innocent enough on paper, and you can’t help but revel in the attention everyone keeps showering you with. But what happens when their feelings give way to something more sinister?
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If someone had asked you a few hours ago how you would be spending your day, you could never have predicted it would be like this.
There's a man in front of you, so incredibly gaunt that you might’ve mistaken him for a skeleton. His cheeks are completely sunken in, practically hollow, and nearly every time he speaks, blood spews out of his mouth.
This man is the greatest hero in the world, All Might.
Honestly, you're still struggling to make sense of it. Today has been one big series of misadventures. Starting with Katsuki’s merciless bullying of Izuku at school, then being attacked by some slime villain that attempted to take Izuku’s body hostage, to finally being rescued by All Might—only to discover that there's far more to him than meets the eye.
Izuku is especially horrified, since he’s idolized All Might for as long as you can remember.
“But... how?” he gapes. “Are you really All Might? No... it can’t be real. I just don’t understand how this could possibly be true...”
You can't really believe it either, at least not until All Might lets out a weary sigh and lifts up his shirt, revealing a gruesome wound that has you wondering how he's even still alive right now. Apparently, he got that injury from a villain several years ago, and the aftereffects are so severe that it has permanently weakened him. You're used to seeing the All Might that everyone else knows—that blindingly-bright, impressively muscular man who never stops smiling, no matter what. But the All Might standing in front of you right now couldn't be any more different. He isn't smiling, nor does he give off the impression of someone you can entrust with your life.
He isn't superhuman. He is flawed and weak, just like the average person.
“I can’t work as a hero for more than three hours per day,” All Might explains grimly. “That’s my limit. I was trying so hard to get away from you kids... but I guess the secret’s out now. This is my true form. My body just isn’t what it used to be. I’ve kept this hidden from the public, because I can only imagine how frightened people would be if they found out about my current state. No matter what, the Symbol of Peace cannot succumb to the forces of evil.”
Izuku splutters hopelessly. “But... but... whenever you save people, you’re always smiling and laughing. You always look so sure of yourself, and—”
“The reason I laugh isn’t because I’m not scared. I do it to distract myself from the constant fear and pressure weighing me down. Pro heroes must always put their lives on the line. It’s an incredibly dangerous job, and I doubt you’d ever find a hero who doesn’t get scared.” All Might pauses, then flashes Izuku a sympathetic look. “Earlier, you asked me if someone who is Quirkless can still become a hero. Knowing what I know about the hero profession, and all the dangers that come with it... I just can’t in good conscience bring myself to tell you that it’s possible.”
The second All Might utters those words, all the color drains from Izuku’s cheeks. You can see that he’s broken out into a cold sweat, and he's struggling to breathe evenly, veering dangerously close to a state of hyperventilation.
“I... see,” is all he manages to respond, staring blankly at the ground.
All Might tries to force a smile, but it isn't very reassuring. “If you care about saving people, you can always go into police work. The police don’t often receive the acknowledgment they deserve, but it is nonetheless an admirable profession. I can’t possibly condemn someone that has a dream. It’s a good thing to push yourself and try to reach your goals. But at the same time... you have to see reality for what it is, kid.”
Just like that, he leaves, and you can tell that Izuku’s entire world has just shattered.
Instinctively, you wrap your arms around him and squeeze tight. “Don’t listen to him,” you try to encourage. “Just because there aren��t any Quirkless heroes yet doesn’t mean there can’t be. It’s okay, Izuku. You can still try. Nothing is set in stone.”
Under ordinary circumstances, this might've worked. Granted, it isn't as if you can just snap your fingers and make everything okay all of a sudden, but you normally succeed in pacifying Izuku whenever he's going through a particularly rough patch. After hugging him and consoling him for a while, he usually calms down.
Unfortunately, this situation is far from ordinary, and thus, your attempts fall flat.
“Thanks, [Name].” Izuku’s eyes are already bloodshot and brimming with tears. He is thanking you, but you aren't even sure what for, considering how utterly broken he looks. “I’ll... be alright. All Might isn’t wrong. I need to see reality for what it is. I’ve been such an idiot, all this time.”
After staring into his vacant, tear-filled gaze, you feel like crying. But you don't , because that's the last thing Izuku needs right now. What use would you be if he ends up having to console you instead? For his sake, you have to stay positive.
Or at the very least, look it.
For a brief moment, you even consider using your Quirk to try and cheer him up. To put him under your control and make his mind dissociate, so that he won't have to feel the full intensity of his emotions right now. But doing that feels wrong, somehow. Especially if you don't have his explicit permission. In this moment, the most you can possibly do is keep on hugging him and make it abundantly clear just how much you believe in him, until he finally believes in himself.
Still. It just isn't fair. What has Izuku done to deserve any of this? Is it really not enough that people like Katsuki keep tormenting him? Why is he now forced to watch his biggest role model turn his back on him?
You are only fourteen years old, but you're realizing just how incredibly shitty life can be for some people.
“I’m okay,” Izuku insists, although his expression is practically blank by now. “I’m really okay, [Name]. You don’t need to worry.”
You smile weakly. “I know you are. Because you will become a hero. Today’s just been rough. Tomorrow will be better. I promise.”
You refuse to let go of his hand while you walk. Part of you is worried that once you do, you might lose him forever. You fear that he might finally succumb to all the pressure and give up on his dream. Give up on everything.
As it just so happens, though, life presents you with an opportunity. You hear loud chatter and spot a crowd of people gathered together. It doesn't take long for you to realize that all those people are probably watching heroes go head-to-head with a villain, and so, you pull Izuku in their direction, hoping that it will reignite the flame inside him that is on the verge of being snuffed.
“Look, Izuku,” you beam. “I wonder who’s fighting today? Let’s watch the heroes kick some villain butt!”
He's dragging his feet and looks visibly unenthusiastic, but old habits are hard to quit. Even as dejected as he is right now, he still can't stop himself from following you. It makes you hopeful that despite everything All Might said to him, he's still determined to do what he always dreamed of.
It was your intention to lift his spirits, but in the process of pulling him along, you end up doing the exact opposite.
There he is again—the slime villain that attacked the two of you earlier. But it just doesn't make any sense. You know for a fact that All Might captured him. Does that mean that he must have escaped at some point?
“It’s my fault,” Izuku gasps, hurrying to clamp his palms over his mouth. “Oh god,” he breathes shakily, voice muffled. “All Might must have dropped him or something! If only I hadn’t been so selfish and just stayed out of his business!”
You don't know what to say. Of course, you don't believe Izuku is to blame, but you are too petrified to say a damn word.
Because the slime villain’s latest victim isn't just anyone—it's someone you know very, very well.
Katsuki!
He's struggling with all his might, desperately fighting to stay conscious and resist succumbing to the villain. Katsuki is strong. He has always been strong. Even so, that doesn't make him indestructible. And right now, as he struggles to get enough air to even breathe, you can tell that he's terrified beyond words.
You want to help. You really, really do, but your previous experience with the slime villain already proved that you're helpless to do a damn thing.
More than anything, you're afraid of what might happen to you if you even try.
Izuku, however, is different. Which is why, while you stand there, frozen stiff from fear, Izuku has already started running.
You cry out to him, try to tell him that it's too dangerous, but he isn't listening. Despite being Quirkless, you know that Izuku is already more of a hero than most people could ever hope to be. That's why he doesn't hesitate for a moment to try and save someone, even when all the odds are stacked against him.
His bravery and selfless nature are what manage to finally spur you onwards, but when you try to run after him, one of the heroes on site pulls you back.
“Don’t!” he insists. “What that kid just did was incredibly reckless! You’re not going anywhere! You could get seriously hurt!”
The hero holds you in place, and you thrash and try to break free, even though you aren't a match for his strength. All the while, Izuku is doing everything he can possibly think of to try and free Katsuki from the slime villain. He throws his backpack at him, frantically pulls and claws at the slime to try and give Katsuki enough room to breathe—just anything.
He must be scared. So scared that he probably can't even think straight, but even so, he doesn't give up.
As a result, he manages to move the heart of a man who was convinced he’d already reached his limit for the day.
All Might appears out of nowhere, back in the broad, muscular state you're used to seeing him in. Blood is spewing out of his mouth, so you can tell that he's pushing himself beyond measure, but that's because he and Izuku are one and the same. When faced with someone who is in dire need of help, they both have a tendency to act first, and think later.
With All Might on the scene, the slime villain doesn't last much longer. You look on with tears in your eyes, shoulders sagging from relief when Izuku and Katsuki are finally both rescued. The villain’s amorphous body has splattered all over the place from the pressure of All Might’s punch, and it's safe to say that he’s been immobilized for good.
It's over. This hellish day has finally come to an end.
“Oh, Izuku,” you whimper, rushing straight over and wrapping him in a hug. “You nearly gave me a heart attack! I was so scared of what might happen to you...”
He chuckles weakly, blushing while he leans into your touch. “I-I’m okay. I know what I did was reckless, but... seeing Kacchan like that, I couldn’t possibly ignore him. His eyes looked they were pleading for help.”
“No, you did the right thing,” you insist. “You bought Katsuki enough time for All Might to act. You might’ve even been the one that inspired him to do so. I wish I could’ve run to help right away, like you did... but I was too scared. I’ve clearly still got a long way to go.”
“That’s giving me too much credit. I really couldn’t accomplish anything on my own...”
You expect that Izuku will be praised for his bravery, but instead, he is met with nothing but reprimands from some of the other heroes who reacted to the crisis. They berate him for charging headfirst into danger, without any concern for his own well-being. You try to point out that if not for Izuku, Katsuki might have already been done in by the time All Might showed up, but they aren't having it.
On the other hand, from what you can tell, Katsuki is being showered with praise. His explosion Quirk is incredibly powerful, and that, paired with his resilience and tough nature, has clearly made a strong impression on the pros. They're all amazed that he held out for so long against the slime villain, when most people would hardly have lasted a few minutes.
Katsuki is amazing, no doubt about it, but there's no mistaking how afraid he looked back there. No matter how headstrong and fearless he tries to act, at heart, he's still only a fourteen-year-old boy.
For that reason, you figure that what he needs most of all right now is not to be praised incessantly, but for someone to show him some genuine concern.
You hug Izuku one last time, stand up, then begin walking in Katsuki’s direction.
Unfortunately, you don't make it very far.
“Stay back,” Katsuki grits out, the veins in his forehead threatening to burst. “I know what’s going on in that stupid head of yours. I can tell based on that goddamn pitying expression you have. Stay back before I get really fucking mad.”
You want to show him that you care. Even if he is horrible to Izuku at times, especially earlier today, he's still your long-time friend. You doubt you'll ever lose the soft spot you have for him. Is it really too much to ask that he lets his guard down and accepts your consideration, for crying out loud?
“Katsuki—”
“No,” he spits. “Shut the fuck and march back to shitty Deku’s side. He’s the one you’re so obssesed with anyways.”
You shamefully look down at your feet. It seems like it's pointless to even try. No matter what you do , no matter what Izuku does, Katsuki keeps interpreting it as an insult. Izuku just tried to save his life, and yet Katsuki is still glaring at him as though he’s somehow been wronged.
None of it makes any sense, and it hurts to feel like things will never go back to the way they used to be.
Heeding Katsuki’s words, you trudge back over to Izuku. It's time to leave. It's been a long, incredibly tiring day, for you too, but Izuku especially. He needs to get some rest and put all of this behind him.
Right before you leave the scene, Katsuki makes sure to glare viciously in your direction one last time.
“I never asked you to help me, piece of trash Deku,” he grits out. “I didn’t need your help. Got it? In fact, I saved myself. You didn’t do a goddamn thing! So, don’t expect me to owe you or some shit. You seriously piss me the hell off. Stay out of my life from now on and mind your fucking business.”
Neither you nor Izuku say anything in response. A rational-minded person would have said ‘thanks’, or even, ‘I really appreciated what you tried to do.’ But Katsuki is just too stuck in his ways. He's determined to always make things out to be negative. He refuses to ever acknowledge that even he needs help sometimes.
Katsuki’s lack of gratitude just makes Izuku’s sacrifice that much more noble, because you know for a fact he didn't expect anything in return.
“You really are amazing, Izuku.” You smile gently, reaching down to grab his hand again. “I mean, the fact that you tried to save Katsuki without even thinking twice about it, even after he hurt you earlier today and said all those horrible things. That’s exactly why I know you’ll become a hero. Most people wouldn’t have been able to save someone who’d bullied them for so many years.”
Izuku stares down at your hand and admires the way your fingers are interlocked with his. Unless you're imagining it, he looks like he's feeling a bit better now. At the very least, his expression isn't hollow and lifeless anymore. Perhaps he's just relieved that Katsuki is safe, or maybe he feels a small sense of pride over his heroic feat earlier. You have no way of knowing for sure.
The two of you walk in silence, and neither of you seems willing to let go of the other’s hand. Izuku still can't forget All Might’s words from earlier, and even though he tried to help his former friend, he knows that still isn't enough for him to become a hero. He realizes now that without a Quirk, it's nothing but a baseless dream.
Still, he's comforted by the fact that you think he's amazing. Maybe he can strive to become a police officer, like All Might suggested. He can still save people that way, and as long as you are by his side, then...
Perhaps that alone is enough.
Of course, you are none the wiser as to what thoughts are going through Izuku’s head. You don't know just how much he's fixating on you and placing you on a pedestal, unintentionally relying on you as his sole source of motivation and happiness. It's never a good thing for any one person to depend wholly on another, and if not for All Might’s sudden appearance, Izuku might have fallen further into his obsessive thoughts.
“All Might?!” Izuku cries out. “But... what are you doing here? I could’ve sworn you were surrounded by reporters back there...”
“I gave them the slip,” All Might chuckles. “I’m still the Number One hero, you know. More importantly, I had some things I wanted to say. Or rather, some corrections regarding what I said earlier.”
You cock a brow, and Izuku can't help but do the same. Well, he’s come all this way for a reason, so you suppose you have no choice but to hear him out. You just hope he won't say more depressing stuff that would completely crush Izuku’s soul.
However, much to your surprise, All Might doubles back and basically retracts his previous words. He admits to being inspired by Izuku’s courage and willingness to help save his friend, despite being Quirkless. Unlike before, All Might has nothing but praise for him. He apologizes for having dismissed him so quickly and recognizes that Quirk or not, Izuku has the heart of a hero.
“You can become a hero.”
They're the same words you've repeated to Izuku for the past ten years, but hearing them from a hero like All Might is understandably more impactful. Izuku is so moved that he can't help but crumple to his knees, and even though he was already crying, this time, they are happy tears.
You wrap your arms around him. Overwhelmed by emotion, it doesn't take long for you to start crying too.
You would be lying if you said you expected to hear from him again today. After all, you didn't exactly leave things off on a good note. But you are a forgiving person by nature, and again, you can't find it in you to completely resent Katsuki, even after all the scummy things he’s already done.
Perhaps you shouldn’t keep giving him more chances, but you do it anyways.
It's very much like him not explain anything and stick to his stubbornness. Honestly, though, in light of recent news, you're in a really good mood. You thought for sure that today would suck all the way until the end, but it had actually been rather incredible.
All Might has chosen Izuku as his successor, and he is going to pass his Quirk onto him.
Your eyes nearly bulged out of your head when you heard him utter those words. You thought he was making things up just to screw with the both of you. But no, apparently All Might’s Quirk—One for All—is the type of Quirk that can be passed down from one person to the next. Izuku is going to have to train his butt off to get stronger, but if he succeeds, then he'll have a Quirk waiting for him.
He isn't going to be Quirkless anymore, and the thought makes you so happy that you can hardly stop grinning.
“What’s with that stupid look on your face?” Katsuki snaps. He's obviously peeved by how chipper you are, but unfortunately, you can't tell him why. All Might has sworn both you and Izuku to secrecy. One for All is purely confidential, and you aren't allowed to tell anyone, not even your own parents.
Still, you physically can't wipe your smile off your face. Things are finally looking up for Izuku, and it's impossible to contain your excitement.
“I watched a funny show earlier,” you brush off. “I can’t stop thinking about it. Anyways, what’s up? Why’d you call me out here?”
For some reason, Katsuki glances away, unwilling to look you in the eye.
“Deku didn’t save me,” he finally mutters. “I wanted to make sure you didn’t get any stupid ideas.”
“Huh? Are you still on about that?”
You blink repeatedly. He really is ridiculous. When is he going to realize that he's way too fixated on Izuku? It isn't healthy. Izuku is perfectly content to just do his own thing and be nice to everyone. Katsuki's the one who keeps going out of his way to harass him for no reason. Back when he was younger, he always used to say that Izuku was obsessed with him, but it's so clearly the other way around.
Still, you're in a really good mood right now, and you refuse to let Katsuki put a damper on it.
“Okay, Katsuki.” You nod patiently and smile. “Izuku didn’t save you, it’s true. All Might was the one who saved you. Izuku was worried about you, because you know that’s just how he is. He worries about everyone. But I know he isn’t the one who defeated the slime villain or anything, so can we please just put this past us?”
Katsuki clenches his fists. “And I’m saying that he had no reason to worry about me, because I was just fucking fine! All he ever does is look down on me. It’s like he thinks I’m this weak-ass bitch, and he’s so much better than I am.”
“No,” you frown. “Like I said, he worries about everyone, not just you. You’re not the exception, Katsuki. Some people tend to worry more than others. That’s just the kind of person he is. Just because you’re strong doesn’t mean people can’t worry about you. I don’t get why you think it’s such a bad thing. It shows that they care. It means that they value you. It doesn’t mean they think you’re below them.”
“I don’t need anyone to worry about me—least of all a Quirkless weakling like him,” he spits.
You really don't know what else to say. You're always running in circles with this guy. He's just too tied up in his flawed way of thinking. He believes that any sort of concern directed his way is automatically some form of mockery. You wish you could help him think more clearly, but you just don't know how.
“I care about you, Katsuki. I care about you, and that means I worry too. Even though I know you’re so much stronger than I am. Don’t you see that it’s not about being strong or weak? I care about you because you’re important to me. It’s just that simple.”
For just a moment, Katsuki’s eyes widen, and he looks like he's finally starting to understand.
He raises your hopes, only to immediately dash them.
“I’m important to you,” he swallows. He's thankful for the dark of night, otherwise you would’ve noticed that he's blushing right now. “You mean that, right?”
“Of course I do,” you nod. “I’ve known you for so long. You’re still my friend.”
Katsuki just stares at you, and there's something weirdly ominous about the way he does it, without so much as blinking once.
“If I’m so important to you, then tell Deku you never want to see him again.”
“What?”
You can't help the gasp that leaves your lips. Seriously, what in the world is he on about now? There's no way you're ever going to do something like that. He's acting crazy.
“You know that’s never going to happen,” you grimace. “Just stop it, Katsuki. If that’s your idea of a joke, it really isn’t funny.”
Katsuki’s eyes are completely wide. “Who said I was joking? You’re the one who started running your mouth about how important I am to you and all that shit. So, I’m calling your bluff. If I was actually important to you, then you would cut that shitty nerd out of your life, because you know just how much he gets under my skin. Unless you’re saying he’s more important to you than I am.”
Before you can even muster up a response, Katsuki has already stepped closer to you. He grabs you by the hand, except unlike whenever you hold Izuku’s hand, this sensation is far from pleasant. Actually, it even borders on painful, because of how hard he keeps squeezing your fingers.
It hurts, and quite frankly, he's freaking you out.
“There’s no way you think that fucking loser is better than me... right?” Katsuki insists. He refuses to let go of your hand, despite the fact that you keep trying to shake him off. Everything about him right now, from the tone of his voice to that unsettling look in his eyes, just reeks of desperation. He only ever seems to get this desperate whenever Izuku is involved.
That's what you believe, however, the reality is slightly different.
You and Izuku together—that is what makes Katsuki’s blood boil like no other.
“Katsuki, I don’t think either of you is better or worse,” you try to explain. By now, you’ve given up on trying to push him away or make him let go of your hand. You just hope that you can get him to calm down. “Please, can you just stop this? I really want all three of us to be friends again. I hate how things turned out.”
Perhaps one day, in the distant future, the situation would improve. But if you asked Katsuki right now, he would rather die than ever make amends with that shitty freckled nerd. He hates Izuku with every fiber of his being, and not only because he's Quirkless.
Because he's stolen you from him.
“You don’t give a fuck about me,” Katsuki chuckles dryly. “I doubt you ever did. Deku was the one you always made googly eyes at. Stop pretending like you want anything to do with me. That kind of fake shit makes me sick to my goddamn stomach.”
You try to protest, but he's already walking away. He steps inside his house and slams the door shut, not even bothering to glance back in your direction.
Katsuki is gone, and you are left outside in the cold, completely alone. You raise your head and look up at the sky. It's so endlessly vast and dark. Not a single star is in sight. You know that they're out there, somewhere, hidden behind a black veil, but since you can't actually see them, it does little to comfort you.
Whatever happiness you felt earlier was clearly destined to be short-lived. The day has ended on an awful note after all.
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#bnha x reader#yandere bnha x reader#bnha#yandere bakugou#yandere izuku#yandere shouto#yandere dabi#yandere shigaraki#yandere shinsou#yandere amajiki#yandere overhaul#yandere my hero academia#yandere bnha#yandere mha#yandere mha x reader#yandere reverse harem x reader#yandere reverse harem#bnha fanfiction#yandere x reader#various x reader#anime x reader#yandere#yandere kaminari#yandere kirishima#boku no hero academia#x reader#yandere!bnha#quotev#bnha fic#bnha fic rec
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me when I read a fanfic and it isn't the not being able to keep one tense going through the fic that puts me off for a second but the idea that 3 doesn't know he has feelings for 4
I honestly think he knows he likes 4 since about
hm. I'll say when he was exiled
I think he had time to think
yknow, despite all that happened before, you'd think that he would hold more against 4 but he doessnnn'tttttttttt
and I knoooow the meme life cicle but I think he was still very casual about it despite that
I think he realised then and overtime like thought it went away
and then 4 appeared again and thought he was fine, he was good
but then he gets to figure out he's basically 4's soulmate and it least now a lot of things start to make sense but not others and he's all over it again
for 4 it's IGBP 100% but only after a while
like he's throught he shock
maybe after all the annoyance with his living situation and he finally lives in his fuckin- don't remember the name of it but he settles down in the back to relax and his mind drifts back, thinks about 3 a little too much, the words he said still burning on his mind and it makes him so giddy and then it hits him like oh- oh huh, guess a lot of things make sense now. better repress!
I mean just- just think about it
neither of these idiots are brave enough to say anything like that, they're both scared of being vulnerable but 3 is more so. BUT 4 is way way more scared of rejection than 3 is. I mean they're basically the same amount of scared but from different perspectives. Like they see themselves this way is why I'm phrasing it this way, 4 is scared to be vulnerable like that too but he specifically thinks about the idea of 3 forever rejecting him and losing him all over this.
3 is also heavy scared of rejection but he's more scared of the idea that if he doesn't keep up his tough persona and tells 4 how he feels he'll be made fun of forever and no one will take him seriously ever again, not even as little as they already do, at least in his eyes.
then again I do absolutely think wotfi23 was a step forward from this
with 4 not trying to snoop around so hard to find out what 3 thinks, and 3 having less of a high wall up around 4, especially since 3 was drawing them not only in that specific art style but also with like.... the expressions are so specific. I do think 4 brings 3 a lot of joy, something that should be explored more
because got theough.... yknow what fuck it I'm overanalyizing that drawing, lemme put it here first
so like this piece of shit drawing <3
one thing first and this is gonna sound insane first but 4 takes up more place
and also has a more complex albeit not by that much pose
also his pose exudes energy, also with the face he makes as well
I think this is how 3 truly sees 4, like a bundle of sunshine who is full of unneeded energy
another interesting thing you might notice is 3's corner of his mouth
that little line by his beard.... he's cringing a little bit, almost like he's trying to mask enjoying 4's company. And in general, his eyes too and once again back to his posture and how he takes up less space than 4 it feels like he's holding back. Once again back to him being kind of intimacy. And when he tries to reach out it hurts him, he cringes and he's like fuming and crazy about it
WHILE he views 4 as being more open, more fun than him, more jolly than he'll ever be
it's crazy how jealously he is in love still despite everything
and we didn't quite see development from this
he loves him so much and still envies what he has with his whole soul
maybe one day the love will overtake the jealousy, especially with how 4 is like, slowly and slowly being more open (and a lil gay) about caring about 3
unless it's a one step forward one step backward type of thing
like imagine first episode of the year and we witness them step backward from a better and more truthful relationship they could have
because honestly, it isn't only about love. It's about communication issues, greatest example of that being Trash Friends of course (oh trash friends, how I miss watching you for the first time)
and it would be genuinely so genius if they, with 4's development about dropping more hints about just how much he thinks about 3
like being vulnerable
and if it was used against him OOOOOOH it would the BIGGEST step backward
if 3 let jealousy win while 4 is trying to be vulnerable with him
imagine the fall out. imagine 3 breaking, being like maybe 4 was right, maybe I really only think of myself
while 4 fully closing off, hurt
their relationship is SO conflict prone. which is why it's so fun to talk about, like why I've been rambling here for a long while now oops
I was reading a fanfic before I almost forgot 💀 anyways I do believe in 4 realising his feelings for 3 later than 3 does for 4, I think that's probably the more popular opinion in the fandom
might make a poll aboutt ittttt :3
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How are the gargoyles reacting when they first find out about Dragon and that they are lost clan? And how do they feel about Brooklyn being buddies with them?
How does Brooklyn feel when he finds out about Dragon being his...sibling, I guess? Cause he likes them sure, but he's not dumb. He knows there is a wall there. They like him and enjoy his company, but they hide a lot from him and for good reason. Do the reasons no longer matter now that they are family in his eyes, or is he still conflicted on what is going to happen to the kind human who rescued him out of the water, simply because it was the right thing to do?
Goliath, watching Reader and Brooklyn hang out from far away: I don't trust them.
Goliath, seeing Reader glare at someone: Omg, that's my child. I didn't trust my child. What is wrong with me?
Okay, good questions!
One, when they find out Reader (Dragon) is lost clan, they're now trying to get them to join but aren't taking no for an answer. They feel they should have realized sooner.
They react to Brooklyn amd Reader being buddies with suspicion, as it seems odd a human would save one of their's... But then again, this human also goes out of their way to spend time with Brooklyn, and don't bother asking him questions about the clan, if anything, theu avoid those questions... They'd much rather ask his favorite color, or how high he can climb, or if he wants to see a few statues in the park... So they begrudgingly will have them watch out for them... Except seeing such a small human, a young one too, on their own... It doesn't sit right with them... Were they abandoned? Or cast out? Is anyone looking out for them? Hmmmm... They'll need to keep a closer eye on them then... Perhaps Elisa or Matt or Xanatos or Fox can talk with them, find out what's going on...
Brooklyn finds it a bit spooky, or world-shaking, that Dragon, his odd friend, is also one of his lost hatchmates from a thousand years ago, the one that was murdered... On the one hand, that's spooky and scary and feels too close to the Magus and magic for comfort... On the other hand, they're someone he used to know and love, so that means they aren't lost forever, he can see them again, they're back! ... But on the third hand, what about, well, Dragon? They're their own person or gargoyle or whatever they are now, and he loves them too. He doesn't want them to stop being Dragon, but he also wonders if they'd remember him or their other brothers or Goliath and Hudson amd Demona... He feels it's like with Elisa amd Xanatos and Fox and Matt, right? Sure, they're human NOW, but they used to be gargoyles, they just have those memories buried... So nothing has to be given up or sacrificed to have both, right? All in all, he feels very confused and worries if there's any right choice for this matter...
Of course he knows he and Dragon aren't completely honest with each other. They avoid talking about where they live or their families or what goes on when they aren't seeing each other and playing around or trying to find new places to hang out and look for stuff. He knows they fear the others, and that there's a slight fear of him... but he feels the same towards them. So it's fair, right? It isn't healthy exactly to worry so much about what could hurt them or come after the both of them... but they tend to push that aside and try to do something fun. Climbing brick walls or old statues, see who can find a hidden item the fastest, challenge each other to hide and seek, and every now and again go fishing... So no, maybe they're not completely honest... but for what it's worth, he likes them, and they like him. They're both trying, and that's all they can do. He appreciates they don't talk about him to other humans much... but he can't help but tell Goliath and the others about them. He worries about them, especially since while sure, it's fun to have someone who isn't afraid to wrestle or jump from heights or climb things, that isn't normal human behavior, is it? And where do they go when he leaves? Are they safe? Are they warm? Are they eating? So he found it best to voice those concerns to the others... He just hopes it doesn't come back to bite him...
Goliath and the others grow just a bit fonder each time they hear a new escapade that Brooklyn and his odd human friend went on, and start to grow worried themselves. Perhaps they need to finally step in... Make themselves known... Or at least offer shelter if they're in need of it...
What they don't expect is to smell the scent of clan on them, or how their glare and their laugh sound like Goliath's... or how small they are, compared to the world around them...
#honeycomb thoughts#platonic yandere gargoyles#yandere platonic gargoyles#platonic yandere brooklyn#platonic yandere goliath#🌔dark gargoyles au#🌔mark of the wyvern au
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Your choice whether you want to do this, might be a little weird or confusing but, could you do headcannons about what being with the different Tintin versions would be like (like, Speilberg Tintin, Jean Pierre Talbot Tintin or 2d Tintin or whatever, depends on who you want to include). Comparing what they would be like since they are all the same guy but kinda different at the same time. It's up to you whether you involve nsfw or not, I don't mind either way 😊
Since it's his birthday,why not?
Prompt: what being with Tintin's different versions would be like. (It's a very long reading,reeaall long so be aware)
[Name] = your name (neutral)
Tintin 1991
♤ This little boy right here,will be a handful.
♤ First,the start of your relationship almost didn't happened. Not that he's clueless,it just didn't registered on his mind at the time because or he was investigating something (dragging you and Haddock along) or he was running from someone (also dragging you along)
♤ When you guys finally started dating a few things changed.
♤ You probably is his first partner so he'll lean on you to learn since dating life never was a topic he knew much. Not naive,just not used to the idea.
♤ He kept dragging you along,this would never change,although he grow a tad bit more aware of you there. If it's too dangerous he would try to make you stay,but if you two were together is because or you are as reckless as him or the reasonable person who follow to make sure he get back in one piece.
♤ Getting you involved is his little way of showing affection (also because he doesn't want to leave you at home waiting for him for God knows how long)
♤ The 91 Tintin has more like a quality time and giving gifts as a love language.
♤ He always liked your presence,but now it got more significant. You were his partner,he loved you and wanted to be with you. Not that he follows you around,he just sees you in the living room,walks all the way there,sits, and keeps doing whatever he is doing, but now in the same place you are. Being honest,you just staying there even help him to concentrate more.
♤ He almost don't have time for himself since he's always running after something,so just having you in the same place without the need to talk,just being there is his favorite way of using the little time he have.
♤ About dates. He prefers simple things at best. Since his life is already a roller-coaster, moments of peace are precious, but with you, it became special. Walking on a park,having dinner at a local restaurant, and taking a stroll late at night. Just you,him, and the comfortable silence sooth all his worries in seconds, making him forget everything and get lost on his little world with you.
♤ What he like the most on you - your hair.
Short,long,curly or straight. Bro couldn't care less.
It's mostly because one time you were really tired, and Tintin offered for you to take a break. You nod and he took the books from your hands but before he could get up to put them back on the shelf,your head drop on his lap and you had fallen into a deep sleep right there and then. He got a bit surprised but also happy that you trusted him this much. He pulled your head in a comfortable position on his lap,moving your hair from your face and almost naturally,his fingers just combing through your hair in a soft caress. Since then,doing it has become one of his favorites.
♤ the gifts? "I saw it, and it reminds me of you"
A flower,sweets or food,a book,a scarf, or just a souvenir about something you were talking about. He's a good listener, so receiving gifts about a topic you really like isn't uncommon, but since he does it suddenly,it's always a delightful surprise. (Also,I don't know, but maybe even a rock if it reminds him of you. You probably have a small collection of them at this point)
♤ Petnames and touches.
I don't see him using one or at least not every time. Your name is a beautiful endering term itself. Why use another? But if you want,probably "love" at best.
Holding hands>>>>
He really loves to just hold and interwine your fingers or when you wrap your arm around his and leaning your head on his shoulder while walking together never fail to make his heart beat a little faster.
☆ Jokes on him completely. He tried to plan a date to,maybe,happen your first kiss, although everything that shouldn't happen happened.
He got dragged into a mess that Rastapopoulos has made yet again and,like always,he was in the wrong place at the wrong time and with you nonetheless. Ah,another classic adventure where you was dragged along again,but this time, he was determined to make it enjoyable and fun just like the date he planed! .
And then it begins,the running after a clue of where rastapopoulos is,hiding from the police because he was being accused of stealing something,followed by the Thompsons brothers who were hired to track him and you and to avoid them? Disguises, of course! Changing from one another every time you two were found was pure fun with the last one being an old couple from the nearest house you two could find.
"Good evening, mister and miss. Sorry for interrupting, but have you two saw a young boy with a quiff and a distinguished person by his side,perhaps?" — the Thompsons asked.
"Boy with a quiff, you say? Dear,have you seen anything?" — you questioned Tintin,who looked thoughtful through the window.
"Hmm,maybe honey...I guess.. they run to the left" — He pointed out. The Thompsons quickly thanked him and prepared to run toward the direction he said.
"Ah,your vision is not the same, dear. They run to the right." . "No, no honey,i'm pretty sure it was left." "No,it's was right." . "No,it was left"
"Ok,we know what to do. Dupond. " "Dupont."
They nod and take different directions,getting more lost than before making you two giggle while watching through the window.
"That's your date idea then?" — you tease,taking off the wig and glasses of the disguise.
"Maybe,is it good,love?" — he mused,taking some parts of the disguise as well. You smiled,taking his hand and encircling his arm around you,kissing his cheek.
"Aside from the running non-stop,it's being a really good time,dear." — his cheek grow slightly redder by the kiss,a soft smile made its way to his lips as he looked down at you. His hand reaches up,combing your hair back in an affectionate gesture,stopping at the back of your head while pulling you closer with the arm wrapped around you.
"It can always get better.." — comfort of your presence,your closeness and warmth gave the last push he needed to lean in,slowly to give you time to back away,but when you moved closer,he allowed himself to close his eyes and finally kiss you.
Tintin 1961/64
☆ This version is interesting.
☆ The 61 Tintin is somewhat more ""naive"". I don't know, but he give me this vibe.
☆ Like,if the 91 Tintin wasn't clueless,this one is. You know the type of friend that when someone see you two interact make them think you're dating but he just dismiss it with an polite smile? That's exactly how he is.
☆ Not that he didn't understand when he began to like you more than a friend,he just thought it would be better to not risk the friendship because he values you deeply. From time to time he end up going to the old man to ask for a few advices of how to deal with it without ending the friendship (not the best idea,Haddock's first words always was for him to just go for it)
☆ In the end,after a little pressure from our dearest Haddock, he finally gathered courage and asked you out on Valentine's Day ♡
☆ Dating life with 61 Tintin didn't change much from before.
☆ His love language is quality time as well,but also touch. He always have contact with you,not liking when he can't take you with him to an adventure but rest assure because everytime he can you will receive a call,even a letter if he can't call. Spending time with you is his favorite thing,mostly when you gush about your new interest having his full attention while also holding your hand,drawing circles on the back of it,completely engrossed on your words paying attention to your little excited squirms with a little grin. Poor boy is infatuated.
☆ Not gonna lie,when he finally had you as his partner,talking about you was the same as Aladdin talking about Jasmine. "I still can't understand how I got this lucky captain..they are funny,beautiful and their eyes!.. and,and how it light up when they talk..and!--". "For God's sake boy! I've understood it already since the fifth time you spoke about them!"
☆ The dates go from random trips to late at night movies.
☆ What he likes more about you - eyes.
The way it lights up when you speak about something you like,how you stare at him lovingly,the gleam when you get happy. Every little time get his heart beating faster since day one. Started with him finding your eyes beautiful to slowly loving it.
☆ Something specific about him is that he remembers every important day. Your birthday,your parents' birthday,any appointments. You didn't tell him? Jokes on you,he knows it anyway.
☆ Petnames and touch.
Going from calling you ''friend'' to "s/o" got he giddy. Sweetheart,honey,love you choose,he's just happy to be able to use those nicknames and hear them coming from your mouth when you call him. He's touchy,but not exactly clingy. Likes to hold your hand,caress your arms,rest a hand on your knees,but always respectful of your boundaries. If you don't feel like holding hands or touch at all, he will understand and resist the urge. ("Resist" because even if it's just the tip of his shoes or his pinky,he will still be touching you,but lightly)
☆ Now,a few different things about 64 Tintin compared to 61 version.
This one wouldn't be naive,not upfront about his feelings either, but he would try to see if you felt the same first before confessing. It's like the 61 version is him younger and more "teenager lover" while the 64 version is older and "mature" (oh wow,don't tell me). He's more aware of his actions, so he doesn't get too close to not trespass the friend zone without being sure of it.
☆ His love languages would still be quality time and touch,but now, also words of affirmation. When before he just admired your eyes and heard your rants,now he voices how much he loves when your face lights up with excitement,the little squirms he adores,how your messy bun is adorable and if he manage to make you blush it's an small victory,using just a tiny dose of his natural sass to tease before pulling you close for a hug.
☆ "Darling" became the main petname for him to call you. Still rant about you for whoever are willing to listen but more like thinking out loud than a dreamy tone like 61 would.
☆ Dates are a bit less random,he spends some time planning it to be a good time and memory for both of you.
☆ The first kiss was something that he was trying to plan but ended up happening spontaneously.
It was on one a stroll on the park after having dinner at your favorite restaurant. The silence of the city slowing down by the late hour embraced you two with a comfortable feeling. Tintin had one arm around you waist to keep you close and enjoy his warmth on the slightly cold night while walking together. His eyes focused on you like always,a soft smile as he tried to pay attention but couldn't help getting lost on your beautiful eyes,you features lightly illuminated by the soft light of the moon,your hair loose just enough to sway with the weak breeze. "Beautiful.." He thought. "Feels surreal..having someone like them this close,maybe I can.."
His arm pulled you closer,erasing any gap between you two,but he felt greedy. He needed more,more of you,wrap you fully with his body and keep you there,but he couldn't yet,the way home would take a while still for him to be able to cuddle with you. This is when his gaze falls lightly,your lips. Tintin's cheek got faintly painted with red, but before he could second guess himself,his steps stopped slowly, making you do the same with a small frown.
"Tintin,what's--" — you tralled off with his actions.
His hand moved to rest gently on your waist,the other cup your cheek with a reverent touch as he leaned his forehead against yours, making your heart race and cheeks flush with a soft tone of red.
"[Name]...can I kiss you,please..?" — he whispered,like if he was telling you a secret only you should hear and know.
Your eyes widen a little,surprised by the sudden request,looking back into his eyes that plead to you. You couldn't deny it,not when you had dreamed of it more than you cared to admit. Your small nod brought a smile to his lips.
"Thank you,darling" — he whispered lowly while leaning forward,kissing you with reverent love.
Tintin 2011
♧ The best for the last of course!
♧ This version is quite something.
♧ Not clueless,not naive, just...him. I have it in my mind (heart and soul) that's he's a Demi person. To feel attraction, he needs to really build a connection with you but have to be spontaneous,so much that he just noticed when he began to look forward to seeing you,talking to you,being with you, and you all know already.
♧ This one didn't have much of a problem to talk about what he was feeling. Obviously, he still felt nervous,but he already had this connection with you at this point and didn't want to mix things or live on the limb of "does they feel the same or not?". He was comfortable with you, so he just took a deep breath,gathered some courage, and spoke up. Friends or partners,having you either way is all he wanted.
♧ Having 2011 Tintin as a partner is,believe it or not,the most normal between those three.
You're probably his first as well and about romance. The only thing he got close to it was a book probably, but he's a quick learner. If you had other relationships through the time you two were friends,hearing your complaints or if you hadn't dated before and only talked about what you would like on a partner when you finally found one was a precious acknowledge he kept and used (not that he needed much,bro is already a perfect boyfriend material😌)
♧ Dating life is change here.
As a friend,he kept things as such. Mindful,respectful, and polite like with everyone else but now with this new level of intimacy he could be a little extra. Different from 61 and 91,he make you tag along because he trust your abilities,of course he still get worried but it's just normal,he doesn't stop you from coming,only when he's sure the danger is real bad.
♧ His main love languages are words of affirmation and touch. Quality time as well,but those two are what he does the most.
♧ A thing I just know for sure is that he really likes to pay attention to you. If you change you hair,even a little he'll compliment you. New style,skin care routine,the stimimg you do about something you like to talk,watch or read and etc,he commit every little thing to memory.
♧ The words of affirmation always come out like a loud thinking or an observation about something you do. Like,he'll watch for a while,smile to himself before speaking, "Your nose twitch when you're focused,it's absolutely endering." Never fail to get you flustered,great success. And if it's not enough..
♧ ✨️The eye contact✨️
He does it normally to anyone,but with you is something more meaningful. He's not only watching,his appreciating and admiring and a little something. This Tintin pass me the idea that letting his emotions real clear with words is not one of his strengths,so he tries his best to convey it through his gaze,that's why he hold the eye contact to make himself clear when he will compliment you.
♧ Dates are a mix of 91 and 64 versions.
He does like to plan it,but only when it's been a while since you guys go out because mostly,the dates are either on his apartment,your house, or Moulinsart. He cherishes much more those moments when it's just you and him spending time together like cooking,reading a book,playing with Milu and etc. To change a bit from the same old comes the planned or random dates,why random? It's just his luck. It can start with an evening strolling through the city doing some shopping and end with you two helping a person that just happened to be kidnapped not so far from where you both was,don't doubt it.
♧ What he like the most about you? Smile.
Plan and simple. Get him all warm inside and automatically bring a smile to his lips as well,what is a bit funny because it happens even with just a memory of it. Like a loose smile, you know?
♧ Petnames and touch.
Darling>>>>>>>
He prefers to offer his arm for you to hold when walking together. His touches are basically the same as the 61 version but less frequent,like not in a clingy manner, although he has this thing of touching when he speaks or explains something and always,I repeat,always ask before doing so. Even if you guys are dating for more than three years,he will still be asking if he can hug or cuddle with you (91 tintin does the same. And,although not clingy he have the same thing 61 have about this urge to be touching you even if slightly)
♧ The first kiss wasn't exactly planned but was on a planned date.
He was preparing for this dinner picnic on the weekend for a while now. Payed for some of your favorite snacks and sweets,champagne or juice if you wanted,even buyed a new blanket to use just for a little extra.
The night was smooth and great just how it should be,he was leaning on the nearby tree with your back against his chest,your eyes closed to fully enjoy the feeling of his arms around you while one of his hands where holding yours making that familiar caress on the back of it that never failed to take all the worries from your mind.
He took a moment to appreciate your face,how the soft light framed your cheeks,the faint shadow the tree provided on you,those small marks your face had,every little thing that made you,you. And finally,your lips. His heart raced with the desire to feel it but hesitant to disturb your peace,he leaned down,just enough to nuzzle the tip of his nose against yours to gain your attention.
Your eyes flutter open, and his heart skips a beat again by the soft and loving gaze directed to him. His hand leaves yours for a moment,reaching your face as his thumb tentatively brushes against your lower lips, bringing a soft blush to your cheeks. He made a silent plead with his eyes without courage to break this comfortable and intimate silence,avoiding your gaze to your lips then back up,with an small nod and shy smile from you, Tintin finally closed the gap between you two with a loving kiss.
A/N: Yo,long time, huh? I'll not be fully back on the blog until March because I will be busy studying for an important test, but this time, i came prepared! I will let some posts ready and programmed through those months I will be out to not let it die. This post is special for his birthday (that I lost last year but not this one!).
Anyway,that's sums things up enough. Thank you for reading,bye bye!
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People of the jury, I do not consider myself a Glenn apologist by any means, but today I present the following argument. "Glenn didn't teach Nick to smoke, provide him directly with weed, or particularly approve of Nick smoking." Snowglobe, you say...that's a bold stance, and to that I say fair, it is, but Glenn has always been a slippery bastard when it comes to pinning him down in canon, and while I don't think this is the only way to read Glenn, it is a canon-compliant way to interpret Glenn.
So now that you've clicked on the Read More to hear me out, you might be saying "Snowglobe, this is too easy. In Episode 51 Glenn admits to showing Nick how to smoke."
Or maybe you don't say that because you don't have an encyclopedic knowledge of this show, which in that case, good for you! I'm not proud of this accomplishment!
But, back to the evidence at hand. The canonicity of any of the "Freddie being contrarian to Jodie" Dad Facts I think is up for debate. From a Doyleist perspective, we as the audience can interpret these facts to be more about the sibling dynamic between Freddie and Jimmy, and less about being true to Glenn as a character.
However, I'm not completely satisfied with just a Doyleist argument, we're getting into the Watsonian as well.
So firstly we have the implication that Glenn actually doesn't smoke cigarettes, which is interesting and a bit unexpected to be honest. However, the main point I'd argue that after raising Nick with healthy skepticism for authority, Glenn telling Nick straight up not to smoke is not going to work.
"But Snowglobe," you say, "That's still teaching Nick to smoke, right?"
"Perhaps," I might admit, "If we didn't have canon evidence of Glenn teaching the Oak twins how to smoke.
That's right! Glenn purposefully instructed the twins on the incorrect form! So, people of the court, I argue, might Glenn have not done the same thing with Nick? And furthermore, when comparing the stories of Jodie and Glenn illustrating smoking to Nick, Jodie is the one who is specified to have taken a drag and nearly hacked up a lung.
Now being a weed smoker, Glenn would likely have been able to tolerate inhaling cigarette smoke without reacting as violently as Jodie, but it could also be that Glenn didn't end up choking because he wasn't inhaling.
"But what about his point that it was so Nick would look cool?" You may ask.
You know what isn't going to make Nick look cool? Hacking up a lung while trying to smoke for the first time in front of people he wants to impress.
I feel that what Glenn underestimates is just how perceptive and observant Nick is (possibly because Glenn himself is not the most perceptive and observant) so he doesn't quite make the jump that Nick is going to figure out how smoking works just from watching Glenn, leading to...
"Oh Snowglobe, how are you going to get around Nick saying he got the weed from Glenn," because you are unaware I am constructing this argument and wouldn't have brought this up without having already considered it.
FIrstly, this is a fairly clear reference to an old drug PSA
youtube
But that's again a Doyleist explanation.
However, with how much this weed knocks Glenn's socks of with dankness, we can put together that Nick isn't literally saying he got this weed from Glenn, if he had, Glenn would not be surprised by it. So yes, Anthony was making a reference, but it's also possible that Nick was making a reference as well, indicating that he picked up smoking weed from watching Glenn, rather than saying Glenn is the reason he has the specific weed he's smoking, or alternatively, Nick took some weed from a stash Glenn hadn't gotten into yet, and is just being very upfront and honest about getting it from Glenn as opposed to buying it illegally from somewhere or someone else.
Additionally, Nick states that he thought he'd try smoking because it's something that seems to make Glenn happy and appear cool. This feels like something that would be very odd for Nick to say if Glenn had been the one teaching/encouraging him to smoke weed, and also odd if Glenn had been aware of Nick smoking weed before this.
Taking a detour back to the "Glenn taught Nick how to smoke wrong" theory, it's commented on that despite being a Nat 20 dank level weed, Nick seems to be handling it much better than Glenn, which could suggest that maybe Nick isn't properly inhaling. This one is a little bit of a stretch but after all Glenn taught Nick to smoke so he would "look cool" and here Nick is trying to "look cool" so it is a possible interpretation, though I feel not the strongest point to be made here, and future evidence is going to make it a little more dicey of a call.
Now I don't want to get into it too much in this post (because I have this post that covers it instead) but Glenn can, and does push back on Nick's behavior but also is pretty conflict averse and is violently allergic to vulnerability.
So, is Glenn going to have a full discussion, in front of Darryl and Grant who are waiting on them to get in the car, about how even though Glenn smokes weed, Nick shouldn't? No, obviously. So what does he do instead? Sure Freddie phrases it as Glenn "persuading [Nick] to let [him] take a hit" but from the practical perspective he is getting the weed away from Nick. He frames it as being because of Darryl that they have to leave it behind, but given that at this point Glenn isn't willing to admit he's a DJ to Nick, it's a lot to expect him to own wanting Nick to leave the weed behind because Glenn doesn't want him to have it, and while it is pure speculation due to being such different from the path of the actual narrative, if they hadn't all been pulled into the realms, I don't think it's too far fetched to consider Glenn having a talk with Nick about it after they got home from the game. As mentioned in the linked post in the previous paragraph, Glenn addresses Nick's swearing and Nick is fairly receptive and corrects his behavior in response to it.
"But Snowglobe," you are unable to stop yourself from saying because the second person narration compels you to continue to engage with this discussion. "Swearing is one thing, Glenn talking to Nick about smoking is different."
Well, what if I told you that, because I'm controlling your dialogue, you have fallen into my clever trap! Because I was talking about Glenn discussing weed with Nick, we don't have to consider whether or not he would talk about smoking with Nick, because there's evidence he already has!
So if you didn't catch it, it's because I argue the transcript got this one wrong. I'm of the opinion that it is Glenn and not Freddie who says, "They said everyone vapes." Who is they in this sentence? I submit that it was Nick who told Glenn this when Glenn tried to broach the topic of vaping with him and Glenn was either fooled by Nick's bluff (kid has a record for being able to pull those off, made up a lie about a wizard cursing him so his head would fall off if he left the Watermice and got everyone to believe him) or wasn't willing to keep pushing when Nick put up the resistance of that excuse.
"Okay, Snowglobe, this has all been very clever, but the trial..."
Yes, yes, the trial. There are two segments of note here and we'll tackle the easiest one first, and that's from Nick's testimony.
Nick claims he would smoke weed if Glenn asked him to because it would make him a cool guy. This is different from saying he has done that. Now this might bring into question why Nick would have potentially lied to Glenn about everyone vaping, and for that it really comes down to a simple equation. [Glenn asking him to]+[Makes him a cool guy]=[Nick is gonna do the thing]. However, considering Nick likes Minions despite Glenn claiming to not like them and Nick not liking Disneyland, we can see that at this point in his life, Nick is starting to get a sense that Glenn asking him to do something does not by definition make it cool. So I don't think this counts as an admission of Glenn being one to actively pressure Nick into smoking.
Now onto Glenn's testimony.
Right off the bat we have Glenn denying he every purchased weed for Nick. Anthony doesn't make him roll deception and no one attempts to accuse him of perjury, so we kind of have to take him at his word there.
When asked how Nick learned how to smoke weed, Glenn doesn't take credit, and given how he's willing to credit his own dad for teaching him, there's room to believe that Glenn possibly would just straight up admit to teaching Nick, even in a court of law. Also worth noting is that Glenn pivots the topic from smoking weed to vaping, which since we can surmise he's had a conversation with Nick about that, we get a sense that it's also the behavior he's more familiar with Nick doing (also emphasized by how Nick talked about smoking weed with Nick in episode one).
And no, I didn't skip over Glenn proudly admitting that Nick knows how to smoke weed, and to be fair, this is possibly one of the biggest counterpoints to my thesis, but I think when we look at who Glenn is as a character, we can see him making the choice to answer this question the way he does without it contradicting my previous points.
Glenn has a carefully constructed identity he presents to the world that he will cling to, even to his own detriment.
Some notable examples of this behavior include:
When he admits he got kicked out of the band, he claims it was because of his tour antics, however, in the episode right before this, Glenn's Dad Fact is this:
While we may not know exactly why Glenn was asked to leave the trio, we can be pretty sure it's not because of his tour antics, but he has to keep up that facade. (I'm of the belief that Glenn was missing to many rehearsals to pick up DJ gigs to help support Nick, but that's just my own headcanon)
When dared to lose his ability to play guitar and instead become a Linkin Park cover DJ, Glenn could have admitted to having already been a DJ and that pointlessly giving up one of his two marketable skills was a bad deal, but instead he trashes the very concept of being a DJ (despite being one) and makes it seem like his choice is solely based on a sense of guitar supremacy.
Argues with Nick about Minions during the trial, even though, according to the Dadturday Night Live bonus episode, Glenn secretly also likes the minions.
So could Glenn act less proud of Nick being able to smoke weed? Yes of course he could, as established, there's a possible reading where Glenn is not thrilled about Nick trying this, but is he going to break and show that while on trial? The same trial where the previously mentioned Minions incident happens? Also, in front of his dad? The dad who likely instilled all these maladaptive coping strategies in him? Of course he's not going to act like this is a thing he doesn't approve of or is ashamed of in these circumstances!
Now of course, none of this completely absolves Glenn of being, as Henry puts it, a mediocre father. There are still a whole ton of issues to unpack with the Glenn and Nick dynamic, but Glenn is a character who is left with so much room for nuance and differing interpretation, that it seems a waste not to explore the slightly less shitty possibilities, where it's clear he's trying, but his issues keep getting in the way because he's afraid that any introspection will lead to having to confront his own grief about Morgan. In a Talking Dad episode, Freddie talks about how the ending he pictured for Glenn was to have him go with Nick to Morgan's grave, with the indication that he'd been avoiding visiting it, and I think reading Glenn in the way presented in this argument is a solid base to get us to that ending, sure the dice may have gotten in the way, but I think it still shines some insight onto how Freddie was crafting the character.
#dungeons and daddies#dndads#dndads glenn close#nick close#yes I'm aware I'm not normal about this show at all#Did I spend way longer writing this and hunting down screenshots than I'd like to admit? Also yes#Youtube
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