#but also because I know I WILL move by the end of the year

[womenclature]

what makes you feel excited, and why? (a) Making art because I get to create something. Because moving paint around is fun. Because colors bring me joy. (b) Watching stunt or dancing videos because other people doing recreational physical activities likewise makes me want to get into my body, jump around, and play.

reflect on a time you faced a challenge. what did you learn from it? Preparation went a long way to help me face the challenge.

write about some media (book, movie, song) that has had a big impact on you. why did it make you feel this way?

think of a person or experience that has positively influenced you. how did they/it inspire you? My boyfriend because he has shown me unconditional love and care.

list three goals you want to achieve before this year ends. how can you take small steps towards them? (a) Less bloat / more defined waist / flatter stomach, achievable by stomach vaccuums each morning. (b) Exercise 3-5x weekly (already doing this) (c) Restraighten my teeth using my retainers (one retainer at a time, starting with just 10 minutes then working up to 30 minutes, and so on, each day) (d) Learn to play 1 piano piece (try practicing just 5 minutes each morning) (e) 10 minutes of Spanish TV daily

describe a time when you discovered something new that sparked your curiosity and inspiration. Well, this isn’t exactly a positive thing, but recently, I have had some interest in learning more about the rise of the USSR. I think I want to finish The Gulage Archipelago by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn. This is how my curiosity was piqued initially. Another thing is this “History in Maps” book I have, I think published by DK, and on each page (or couple of pages) there is a map demonstrating locations and movements across land during important historical events. For example, it covers the major world wars. I’m really excited to read this book. I bought it last year and have only leafed through a little. It’s a large and heavy hardcover book. It was around $30-$50 from Amazon.

write about a challenge you currently face. what can you do to overcome it? Challenge: I get sucked into the political side of social media and end up just very frustrated with how stupid and ignorant and mean people are. I end up wasting a lot of time on this. Overcome: By exploring more creative pursuits and other personal interests both online and offline (such as I am doing right now) to encourage self-discovery and deepen my understanding of other (non-political) areas.

what are some things in nature that inspire you? how do they make you feel, and why? Animals for sure. I love that they inhabit our world so directly. Sometimes I joke that all wild creatures are “homeless.” What’s so fascinating about them is that the outdoors is their home. They know it and understand it better than any human. I also love seeing the little parallels between their behavior and ours – The way the ducks care for their young little chicks (ducklets? hehe). I also think animal behavior is silly sometimes and they make me laugh, like how the iguanas will just toss their bodies into the canal to flee, or peacocks will cross the streets sooooo slowlyyy as if there aren’t 5 cars waiting for them to move. So oblivious and un-self-aware. It’s cute when animals do it – not so much when humans do it, I guess!

reflect on a time when you felt super proud of yourself. what did you achieve, and how did it make you feel? I think graduating from college and getting my degree was my number one proudest moment. I couldn’t stop smiling. I don’t honestly remember being very proud of myself before or after that. I can’t wait to have that feeling once again.

write a letter to your future self. what are some hopes and dreams you have? how can you work towards them? Future self, this letter is shorter than maybe it should be because I’m feeling impatient at the moment and I need to get to work. However, I want you to know I wish you the best. I hope you found a way to worry less and look forward to the future more. I hope you found a way to be brave and enjoy traveling alone (in situations where you have to travel alone because no one else is available). I hope you figured out how to connect with other people better, and if you didn’t yet, don’t be too hard on yourself. It would be enough if you just gained more self-knowledge. I hope you are more patient than me, and if you aren’t yet, that’s okay too. I hope you have learned to notice and praise yourself when you do good things. I hope you are beginning to feel that maybe, just maybe, you are allowed to think you actually met your own standards. Maybe you can feel proud of yourself more often. Maybe you can see more good in the world; maybe there are more people in your life who bring value to it. I don’t know how far in the future you are, but if it has been more than 3 or 4 years, I hope you now know the joy of motherhood. I hope you have help and I hope you are able to take breaks and take care of yourself. You deserve that. Maybe you have a good babysitter! I hope so. I know this has been pretty rambling so far, and I apologize. No matter what has or hasn’t happened yet, I wish you the best and I just want you to know that life isn’t over until it is literally over. Until then, anything is possible. Never say never. You may not feel like it in this moment, but you got this, and you will see more and do more and achieve more before the fat lady sings. - Past You

journal prompts: for when you're feeling unmotivated

what makes you feel excited, and why?

reflect on a time you faced a challenge. what did you learn from it?

write about some media (book, movie, song) that has had a big impact on you. why did it make you feel this way?

think of a person or experience that has positively influenced you. how did they/it inspire you?

list three goals you want to achieve before this year ends. how can you take small steps towards them?

describe a time when you discovered something new that sparked your curiosity and inspiration.

write about a challenge you currently face. what can you do to overcome it?

what are some things in nature that inspire you? how do they make you feel, and why?

reflect on a time when you felt super proud of yourself. what did you achieve, and how did it make you feel?

write a letter to your future self. what are some hopes and dreams you have? how can you work towards them?

(images are from pinterest)

[jjenthusee]

Like The Sun

Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader

Summary: As your relationship deepens, you have to face some unsolved feelings. It can be frightening, but a little bit of honesty can take you far.

Tags: no y/n, slight miscommunication but nothing too painful (i hope), fluff, hurt/comfort, jason is learning to communicate, reader is also bad at communicating lol, trigger warning: grief

Word Count: 5.0k

Ten days.

Ten full days since you went completely silent on Jason. No contact, no phone calls, just a couple messages to make sure you were alive, but nothing more.

Ten full days and he hadn’t burst through the front door by tracking your phone and coming up with thirty-four complete ways you could possibly be tied limb-to-limb in an abandoned warehouse.

And it took one message. A single text to start the pitfall of a week.

You: Hey Jay, I’m gonna stay home tonight, just need the evening to myself.

Sending the message was difficult enough, but there was no use in pushing yourself outside your apartment door that day.

Everything felt off from the morning.

The way your water tasted, the breakfast you tried to stomach, the feel of your clothes on your skin.

It didn’t make it any better that your hair wasn’t styling right, your washer was acting up, and it was your last straw when you stained your kitchen counter.

But nothing made your heart drop like seeing Jason read your message. There was the same three dots reappearing and disappearing until it left the screen completely.

Jason was thinking most likely. Maybe analyzing how this possibly surfaced.

He was very keen on your behaviors, your mannerisms, and he knew the words you tended to use the most. He knew how you couldn’t remember specific words when you were excitedly telling him a story. He also knew you picked at your nails when you were deep in thought.

You knew he was analyzing.

And it was just your luck that he was a damn good detective.

You could picture the way his eyebrows would downcast far enough to shield over his eyelids as he looked over his phone. It was likely he would be radiating, building an intensity around him as he focused to understand what was happening.

It was a new habit he was picking up the longer he knew you. A habit developed from his effort to not jump from one extreme to another. He started to deeply consider his next moves, what words wouldn’t give off the wrong impression, and how to get even a thread closer to knowing what you needed.

It was the most thought he had given to his personal relationships in a long time.

Then one thumbs up emoji later, you felt a weird sense of relief and guilt for the alone time you asked for because you knew better than to go completely silent.

But you were even more surprised that he was allowing you to be this silent. It was almost funny that he had reasoned with himself to send a single emoji after all that build up.

Last year, one dead phone and multiple missed calls had him ready to tear down Gotham City for an entire evening. You thought he wouldn’t do such a thing, but he had done it before, so—just maybe, a second time wasn’t impossible.

But this behavior was new. For him and for you.

But it also was a time of change in your relationship. A major shift from just platonic to understanding where romance was going to take the two of you.

He must’ve been holding back because you asked him directly for it. He was complying and only tried to contact you back with only a single phone call you didn’t answer and a couple messages that you managed to respond, ironically, with a thumbs up.

This would hurt Jason and you knew for sure it was hurting you.

But words are easier to sugarcoat and your actions were too honest, too raw to cover up with excuses.

Now, ten long days later, you had sent no new messages to him in two days because there was just a lot of time where you let your mind blankly go through the week.

You hoped this would end soon, but you needed some time to sit in your apartment with no rush to think about anything else.

And sometimes that started with boiling some water for a quick meal of some decently made pasta.

You watched as the water start to slowly boil with the steam radiating off the top of the pot. You stood from the side of the kitchen counter, pausing from chopping some veggies for the sauce.

Everything felt so eerily quiet. The usual busy street outside the window felt weirdly muted. It was late, but even this much silence for Gotham felt unusual in an unsettling way.

Less cars were honking and the city lights protruded the thin curtains over your windows. The warmest light that was let in was from the lamp near your couch and the overhead stove light.

Your blank mind kept coming in waves. But you started to realize that grief was like that. It was hard on your mind and body despite having a good day because something always reminds you—it makes you remember the deep, ingrained loss.

If the torture of grief was already hard enough for losing one person, it wasn’t easy that it brought you back to the heart-wrenching night of also losing Jason.

It was a twisted game that life repeatedly stabbed you with and you were the player they decided to pick on.

Since Jason came back to life, to Gotham, and to you, you never knew what to do with the unresolved mixed emotions. There wasn’t many people to ask for advice on how to deal with this healthily. You already felt crazy enough trying to google it.

Fsshhh.

The water you were supposed to be watching was boiling over quickly and broke you out of your depressing thoughts. You had to lean over just enough to not burn your skin from the sloshing water while adjusting the switch on the stove to turn off the burner as the water simmered down.

“Crap.” You turned to try to grab the kitchen towel but realized you had thrown it near the cutting board you were using.

With one swoop of the fabric, you hadn’t realized the rag was inched enough below the handle of the knife that it flung the entire blade to the floor, nearly missing cutting your foot.

You gasped a moment too late as you witnessed too many bad things happening one after another.

Everything felt even worse once you remembered it was your only clean knife. You hadn’t bothered washing any of the dirty dishes from the past week of staying home from work.

Not a breath later, you startled at your phone buzzing on the counter and a light knock echoing from your window.

——

Silence.

It scared the hell out of Jason.

It reminded him of how alone he felt and was.

It left too much room to think and to get one step closer to spiraling.

That’s why Gotham, as shit as it was some days, had him glad for how busy the place was. He could hide in its chaos that never wavered even for all the masked vigilantes of the night.

It wasn’t in his interest to follow the caped family and he easily fixed the bothersome brothers with a good block on his phone and wiping his existence as much as he could. It also didn’t hurt to make a deal with the Oracle, so it left one less person capable of helping the others find him.

Sometimes it was easier when they gave up on some days. Like how they were busy with their own lives to try to meddle in his for a couple hours.

Luckily, this was just another night of opportunity to get his business done without domino masks blocking his way. Then he would grapple back to your familiar path to see if you were up for an early walk up the emergency stairs to your apartment rooftop.

He always looked forward to watching the way the sun reflected in your eyes and that intense feeling in his chest had Jason wanting to drag you out every morning if he could.

As much as Jason wanted to zero in on his daydreams of sunrises and the chaos of letting Gotham seep back into his skin, he was looking at his locked phone screen on the top of a run-down movie theater he was patrolling on. He was trying to investigate a drug drop to see who he was going to put a couple holes in for the evening, but the wind that invaded his leather jacket felt chilling and the vibration from his pocket had him wondering.

Suddenly the chill in his bones was blurring the message you sent and struck his nerves almost as badly as the nights he spent locked and surrounded by screeching metal, but he smacked his helmet with the back of his pistol before he could start a painful hallucination back to those times.

Pain rung in his wrist, but that wouldn’t get in his way of clearing up the punching bags walking below his feet, unaware of what was in store for them.

But the most surprising thing he’d seen that night was from the tiny screen illuminating the dark alley he stood in as the knocked-out bodies of the men he was tailing laid around his feet.

It was confusing.

Jason had thought there was progress in whatever relationship he was developing with you, but like an axe had been taken to his heart, reality hit him that maybe that was too good to be true.

The sensation of his buzzing helmet that knocked him from bad memories to reality was starting to strain his neck.

But he wouldn’t be able to solve the problem in his hand with another swing of his pistol.

Jason was trying not to sway, to not let the words spin and double from the phone.

“An evening…to myself.” Jason mumbled as he read the end of the message out loud.

What the hell could he say to this?

His eyebrows lowered the more he tried to think, but his overthinking tendencies were besting him.

It was out of the question that he was going to tell you ‘no.’ How could he refuse you some alone time?

He’d done enough of bailing on you over the last couple months when he felt overwhelmed, so Jason felt in no position to stop you from this.

He had improved that horrible behavior from the moment your affection was becoming more bolder, but he didn’t think it was worthy enough of a change to prevent something you wanted.

He had gotten a stern lecture from you the last time he raided the entire underground criminal ring to see if someone had taken you.

Once he realized an uncharged phone almost had him eliminating the entire criminal population of Gotham City, he realized he didn’t understand the extent of his feelings.

Jason was letting himself get deeper into the relationship you allowed him to build with you and now it scared the hell out of him that you were gone before he could tell you about any of it.

And like the continuing coward he knew he was, you still didn’t know about it.

Jason dragged a glove down his face, but hit the metal of his helmet and it smoothly glided down before he could not let himself think about this anymore.

It would have gone smoothly if Jason had the emotional intelligence skills to handle this, but not only did he realize he was a coward, he was also just stupid.

“A thumbs-up?”

The sudden voice coming from Jason’s helmet had him jumping out of his skin. On instinct, he readily held his pistol with his finger ready on the trigger.

His hands were faster than his mind because he realized that annoying voice was from Oracle herself.

“I have to reprogram this damn helmet again.” Jason groaned, putting his weapon back into his holster and putting his phone away fully from the prying eyes.

“I’m glad to hear that you’re fine, Ja—“

“Red. Hood. We’ve been over this. It’s Red Hood.”

The silence from his helmet had Jason feeling somewhat guilty for the attitude he was giving the one person who tried to have patience with him, but she always struck a nerve of boundaries with him.

“Why are you tracking me and seeing my camera feed? This was off limits according to our deal.” Jason picked up the bodies of the men he knocked out and dragged them against the nearest dirtied brick wall.

“We also agreed on no casualties.” Babs argued back.

“Relax, you hacker. They’re still alive…for the night.” Jason lowered his voice when it reached the truth.

“Ja—Red Hood, this isn’t in the deal either.”

“Fine, fine. I’ll give ‘em something to survive into tomorrow. Now stop snooping.” Jason grabbed some medical supplies from his utility belt.

“I didn’t mean to read your messages, I just noticed the lack of movement from you for the night. I wanted to check in.”

“From my helmet feed?”

“Okay, it was going to be a quick look because I know how much you avoid these chats.” Babs sighed, rubbing her temple above her headset. “And I must say, a thumbs up wasn’t a better idea than what I did.”

“That’s enough.” Jason felt a headache forming.

“Wait—“

The call was over as Jason powered off his helmet’s extensive features and opted for no settings, but a plain red helmet.

“I don’t have time for this.” He mumbled, fighting the itch to just run back to your place, but that wasn’t an option anymore.

As he stood from the dark alley, Jason couldn’t hear anything, but an eery quiet.

He knew it was going to be a long night, but he didn’t realize it would be much longer than that.

A long silence.

God, Jason hated it, but your silence was all he wanted right now, he needed it.

——

You reached for the bright screen illuminating the muted kitchen and read the familiar name you had been avoiding.

Jay: brought some food Alfred dropped by for me earlier, thought you would want a piece since it’s your favorite.

Jay: left it outside the window, leaving now

You hopped over the knife still on the floor, running toward the closed window. In one motion, you were throwing aside the blinds, holding on to your phone, and prying open the curtains while trying to open the window.

You had tangled up the blinds, but you didn’t care in your rush to see a glimpse of the vigilante possibly still outside on the emergency exit ledge.

When you managed to peek out to feel the cold evening air, your eyes searched for the red helmet. For any sort of glint of light that bounced off his patrol gear, but nothing caught your eye.

It was like searching for a shadow in the dark, but like hell did you give everything in you to try to search for him.

When you gave up, your eyebrows crinkled in disappointment as your breaths caught in warm puffs from the rapid exhales. Then as you looked down to calm yourself, you saw the familiar lunch bag that Alfred used for deliveries. It struck something deep in your chest.

All this avoiding was hurting you.

You wanted Jason.

You needed him right now.

It was so simple, but you didn’t realize it until you saw the warm meal, the clumsy but patient silence from Jason to respect your space, and how completely exhausted you were of being alone in such a painful time.

You wanted the one man that you knew would lay with you through the hell of your mind.

You: how long until patrol is over?

You: i’ll wait for you

Within seconds, a response popped up.

Jay: On my way

With half your body still outside your window, you felt your arms shiver and your skin prick, but you lightly smiled into the brightness of your phone. A dry laugh almost came out at the relief that he was coming back.

In one soft leap and the release of a grapple wire, you finally saw the red helmet meet your eyes.

“What’s wrong? Did someone break in? Did I say something wrong?” Jason’s voice broke out of the modulated voice, morphing into his usual raspy one as he pulled off the helmet. His domino mask stuck to his face still blocking his eyes from you, but you perfectly watched how his eyes moved to the phone in your hand down to the untouched lunch bag. “Oh no, did I accidentally smush the food? Maybe I swung it too hard on my way here—“

You reached forward, your stomach digging into the window stool, but you didn’t care as you gripped the collar of his leather jacket. Pulling him toward you as he let you maneuver his body into your arms.

You squeezed him, pushing your face into the crevice of his neck and feeling his soft touch of his skin against yours, the slight smell of his sweat from the exertion he puts his body through every night on patrol, and the shared shampoo you bought together.

It just felt right.

A cloudy night sky, the moon barely peaking out to brighten the late night, all to grace the outline of the man held tightly in your arms.

“I missed you.” You whispered, as lightly as possible, so just you and the moon would hear what you said, but Jason rested his hands on your back and squeezed, crinkling your shirt in between his fingers.

“I’m right here.”

After a couple moments of breathing in his scent, Jason gently pulled you out of the safety of his neck and looked at you. You traced his arms and shoulders, to trail his neck with your fingers. Lightly sending shivers up his skin as you reached his stubble on his jaw.

The prick on your skin felt too good as you kept moving your hands to the edges of the mask.

You felt the smooth edge, ready to press your fingers to remove it to see Jason’s clear eyes. Before you could begin to peel it off, Jason held your wrists, halting them from doing anything more than what you planned.

“Please. Please, not out here.” He pleaded, heavily breathing into the minimal space between your faces.

You nodded in response, your throat too closed up in emotions to say anything.

You moved your body from the window and Jason moved one foot inside, taking the lunch bag and his helmet with him.

You stood closely to him, not giving him enough space to freely pull himself comfortably inside, but you wanted to try to push your luck tonight in being as physically close as you could without making him feel uncomfortable.

Once Jason closed the window and attempted to straighten the tangled blinds, he noted the clear mess you left in a hurry.

Before he could comment on it, you stepped toward him. Resting your forehead onto his chest plate.

It was so cold, but it also brought relief to how heated your face was getting in your unusual clingy behavior.

But this was Jason. Your Jay.

You looked up. Looking into the white eyes of the mask irritated you. You regained your motivation to remove it, he wouldn’t stop you now that you were inside the apartment.

With dim lights and a warm glow on one side of his face, you retraced your steps, feeling his chest rise under your palms.

It felt magnificent to watch the way your touch and gaze made him react. It touched you how willing and clumsily he tried to hide these unconscious responses.

You felt the edge of the domino mask again, feeling your finger try to part the specially made material from his skin. Once you got a good grip, you took it off his face, watching his eyes open to see you.

It was breathtaking how much you missed his presence despite you wanting to be away from it.

You used your thumbs to trace his eye bags. They looked much darker than the last time you saw them.

“You’re not mad?” Jason hesitantly asked, grabbing the loose fabric of your shirt again, smoothing out any wrinkles.

“I was never mad.” You let him continue to pick at your shirt.

“It's been ten days. I’ve been worried out of my mind trying to not barge in here.” Jason leaned into your hand still on his face. “But the last time I did that you were pissed.” He dryly chuckled, less amused, but sadly letting his voice out.

“I’m sorry I didn’t explain anything. It’s just another case of…grief.” You breathed out the confession. “It’s not an excuse, but it hasn’t been easy on me right now.”

Jason silently grabbed your hand to kiss the inside of your palm, it made the pain of making him wait for you worse, but also eased your worries.

“I feel so pathetic telling you all of this.” You exhaustedly admitted to the man lovingly holding your hands over his face.

“No, no, please don’t say that, I would never want you to feel like that.” He worriedly looked down at you. Trying his best to read your thoughts through his eyes. “I only want to be right here, even if you feel at your lowest.”

As he continued to read you, he hesitated, trying to determine his next words.

“I admit that I asked Alfred to make his signature dish for you. I know how much you like it and it was the only way I could think to get close enough to your apartment without disturbing you.” His hair drooped with his words. It was almost comical how in tune his hair was with his frowning expression.

You smiled.

“Thank you for doing that. It actually helped me to realize how much I wanted you next to me, but I was too stubborn about it.” You pushed Jason’s droopy hair out of his eyes, watching the dark and white strands mix together. “You know me too well.”

“Don’t be too forgiving, I might have completely ruined your dinner.” Jason finally smiled.

God, you missed that look.

“You saved it actually, I made a complete mess before I got your message.”

“That explains the knife on the floor.” Jason locked onto the blade, not at all pleased at the danger it became.

“Nearly sliced my toe.”

“That’s actually really bad.”

“We can worry about that later, I want to eat the meal Alfred packed. Can you eat with me?” You asked, trying to get his attention back on you.

“Okay, let me take my gear off.”

Within moments you sat at your dining table when Jason reappeared in comfortable clothes. He had changed into a hoodie he left previously and some sweats.

You didn’t bother turning on more lights when Jason picked up the knife on your kitchen floor and lightly cleaned the counters before he felt content enough to sit next to you.

You didn’t say much during your meal. The light awkwardness was settling when you realized you never cleared up what was going on inside your mind and led to your disappearance.

He must have had questions. He was being very careful in approaching you today.

“You don’t have to tell me.” He said nonchalantly.

“What?”

“You don’t have to say anything. At least if you don’t feel like it today.” Jason picked at his food. Moving the pieces around rather than trying to pick up something. “I didn’t come here to ask you for anything. But…I won’t go anywhere.”

You stared at him, watching his side profile relieve the doubt in your mind.

“When I turned around…she wasn’t there.” You spoke. Finally letting the truth out as Jason perked his head to you. “I always turned around before I left, so when I turned around this time to see her, I wasn’t prepared to not meet her eyes. When she wasn’t right there, it was just…so painful.”

Jason put down his eating utensil, listening and watching you do the opposite and focus in on the metal in your hands.

“It was so random. I was at the grocery store when I was buying ingredients for dinner and unconsciously, I started buying stuff she liked. Y’know, I barely cried through the funeral service, but I saw everything in her. I remembered sharing meals with her and when I realized I had everything she enjoyed in my basket, I left before I could cry in the aisles.”

Jason grabbed your hand, squeezing every time you tried to blink back tears, but the burn in your eyes wouldn’t go away.

“I can’t have meals with her anymore.” You shakily said out loud like the still waves of grief were finally crashing down onto you as you spoke into existence what you ran from.

“But, despite all the pain I was feeling, I also thought of you, Jay. It was so hard to grasp my love for you after you left me when we were kids. You lived with so much love and I’m glad you shared that with me—“

“No, I didn’t live anything like that—“ Jason refused your words, he knew he didn’t deserve it.

“But, you did. I felt it and many other people did. I realized I never properly mourned you that day and I just pushed it down until the two of us were in a dark alley entangled back into each other’s lives.”

Jason couldn’t think of anything to say, so he let you continue to speak.

“We handled too much as kids and I can’t imagine the pressures that you had to go through. Bruce, Robin, the trauma. I know you try not to think much about the past, but you deserve to grieve who you were and the kid you could’ve been.”

You finally looked up, feeling worked up enough to fully face Jason. You saw his wide eyes as he couldn’t say anything despite his mouth trying to move. To voice something to you.

Then his eyes calmed as he started to organize his thoughts, taking in the vulnerability you so willingly placed in front of him.

Fighting the bile and tears he was trying to fiercely push down, he could only handle so much at a time.

Maybe you were right.

Maybe he could grieve, but he didn’t know how yet.

So, he would focus on the first thing he decided to do. It was to speak the truth.

“But…I wouldn’t take back that first life I had. I met you, we faced some horrible people because of Robin, but the fact is…that I spent my first life loving you. Sometimes that thought is the only thing that can get me through those days—when time really feels like it’ll stop again. It scares the absolute shit outta me.”

“Jay…”

“Who would’ve thought that I lost all of that, but how did I still get lucky enough to get a second chance with you? I honestly can’t believe it some—most days.”

He wouldn’t look at you, the heavy air of vulnerability surrounding the space between you. A lovely grip that kept your eyes focused on the man next to you.

“I just…I debated whether we should even be in contact. But some part of me also wanted to take back this part of the old me. To let me have something. Even if that is just staying next to you. I think it’s why I freak out when I don’t hear from you.”

You got up to stand next to Jason’s chair. You reached out to test touching his shoulder, lightly threading your fingers over his hoodie. When he didn’t back away, you moved to hug him, to hold his head against your chest. As you laid your head on top of his, Jason moved into your warmth. Wrapping his arms around your waist.

It hurt to hear that Jason felt like nothing of who he was before his death, but you could see the ingrained part of him that never changed.

Sure, he was growing up and being influenced by not only Bruce anymore, but you were there to stay.

“I won’t leave you in the dark again, I learned that I can’t do this alone. I know we can’t change over night, but I want you to know that your presence right now is enough. You are enough, Jay.” You rubbed his head and back.

Jason felt his eyes sting, so he held you against him a little harder, squeezing you as desperately as he felt. Trying to cover his face and let himself sink into your body.

It was silent again.

But Jason didn’t hate it. At all.

——

“My eyes are so puffy. I can’t believe you dragged me up here. I haven’t gotten an ounce of sleep.” You complained as you trudge up the steps to the roof.

Jason followed right behind making sure to hold onto the railing and watching your every step. Then he started to rub your lower back to soothe your complaints.

He didn’t feel guilty about it any of it though.

“You’re carrying me down ‘cause I’m not making the same trip down.” You grumbled along to your steps.

“That’s not a good idea, I don’t want to risk it.” Jason easily paced next to you.

Vigilante stamina was something else.

“Says the guy who grapples everywhere. Why can’t we grapple down?”

“The sun’s almost out. We missed the chance.” Jason smiled as he helped gently push you up the final steps.

When you made it up the final climb, you felt the slight sweat prickle your skin and Jason’s lips touch your forehead.

Within seconds, you plopped onto the ledge, feeling Jason securely wrap himself around you and ready for any sort of emergency.

“You must really like sunrises.” You exhaled to catch your breath and leaned your head onto his shoulder, the muscle was perfect to put your weight on.

“Not really.” Jason intertwined your hand with his.

“I’m too tired to get mad at you. I’ll do it after we have a nap.” You sleepily yawned.

“Heh, alright.” Jason held you tight.

It was a quiet morning. The rare weather allowed a clear sky to watch the sky change colors and illuminate.

And Jason was focused on none of it.

——

A/N: wow! this was longer than i imagined it would be and i waited to have a little space for me to talk :) but im back after being silent for a while. it wasn’t planned and sadly before the year ended, i lost my grandma and it was a lot to deal with. grief is no joke on how it works, BUT i’ve set some time to really take a step back and focus on myself. i didn’t mean for this writing to go in that direction, but i tend to get inspiration from parts of my life to make the writing feel more genuine. This page has made me laugh, talk to amazing people, and share these writing when I thought they wouldn’t go anywhere but my phone. it’s such a comforting thought that some ppl look forward to seeing something new from jjenthusee! 🤍 ik the world isn’t the best right now, it’s hard to deal with, but please take care of yourselves and enjoy a little bit of jason for yours truly 😊 please leave positive comments, spam a like or two, and have some flowers 💐

[orimuraa]

ㅤㅤ ༊·˚ Like a fantasy - OT7

꒰ 𝔖𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘴𝘪𝘴 ꒱┆tropes enhypen would be ⨾

۶ৎ ot7!enhypen x fem!reader ┆fluff┆kisses, headcanons┆ wc 1k

⤷ 𝐲𝐞𝐣𝐢’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: hehe..someone get me a man like ni-ki 😔 reblogs and feedback appreciated ^^ comment or send in an ask if you think i should write individual oneshots based off of these scenarios 👀

꒰ঌ ℬℴℴ𝓀𝓈𝒽ℯ𝓁𝒻 ໒꒱

���𝒆𝒆 𝑯𝒆𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒖𝒏𝒈 - 이희승

hehe ok..hear me out...but heeseung definitely gives brother's best friend trope

like, imagine your jake's little sister

and heeseung is always at your house bc of jake

and you've developed a small crush on heeseung but who wouldn't

but you're scared that jake will be mad, being the overprotective brother he is

heeseung has also been silently crushing on you, too scared of his best friend though to make a move

so when he comes clean to jake and shockingly gets jake's go ahead to date you (after a bribe with ramyeon), he's rushing out to plan the perfect way to ask you out

idk but hee just seems like the type to be a forehead kisser bc he knows jake does NAWT wanna see him smoochin his little sis

but yeah <3 he loves you so much and is so grateful to have you <3

𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝑱𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒈 - 박종성

uhh ok soo...i'm feeling maybe co-workers to lovers? don't question it

i see jay as one of your friendly co-workers who is insanely hot and you may or may not have a tiny crush on him

but it's okay bc he likes you too >//<

your desks are next to each other and so you have gotten many opportunities to talk and get to know each other better

he brings you coffee every morning as a sweet gesture

i feel like he would confess about his feelings first, then ask you out on a date

he's so over the moon when you say you've liked him too for a while now

when you guys are working, he'll definitely steal a couple kisses 🤭

the office most definitely ships you guys too

𝑺𝒊𝒎 𝑱𝒂𝒆𝒚𝒖𝒏 - 심재윤

childhood besties to lovers.

period.

he's so loser coded too...

like, he's know you since forever and he's also liked you since forever >.<

jake is so whipped for you though lmao

he's definitely the type to chase away all the guys who are interested in you because he's jealous~

jake is always at your house because duhh he's jake and he can be

no but seriously, i think that it would be like you catch feelings for him too, but you're scared of ruining the friendship so you distance yourself a bit

but when he confronts you, he ends up tripping over his words and accidentally spilling that he's liked you for years now

big on kissing cause he's so loser coded <3

jk i love him....but he's just childhood bestie material

𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒏 - 박성훈

so uhh i don't know what this one is called...but basically, sunghoon's super popular and he's like, a jock and all that

but you're kinda quiet, nerdy, and less about being in the spotlight

and so sunghoon is kinda dumb and failing some of his classes, so the teacher assigns you to tutor him

at first, sunghoon thinks he's gonna hate this, but when he sees you, a gorgeous, sweet girl, he decides to make it worth while

he's such a flirt yet you're a pro at ignoring it, making him fall for you even more

eventually, he gets you to fall for his charm and then asks you out <3

he's never been so happy with someone and you really bring out a playful side of him

sunghoon has no shame kissing you whenever and wherever

so you better get used to all the attention now >//<

𝑲𝒊𝒎 𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒐𝒐 - 김선우

sunoo kinda gives strangers to lovers but like, cafe version

so he works at a cafe that you have just discovered and you really love it so you become a regular customer

you've always been too shy to ask the front worker for his number but you can read his little name tag that says his name is 'sunoo'

sunoo knows you as "pretty cafe girl" not having the guts to ask you

eventually, sunoo grows some balls and writes his number on a napkin one day, handing it to you along with your usual order

"hey, i think you're really pretty and i would love to get to know you <3 xxx-xxx-xxxx -sunoo"

AFGHJS he's so smooth

he'll take you out on a couple dates before making things official with you

and let me tell you, he absolutely adores you and you're the best thing that has ever happened to him <3

𝒀𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝑱𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒘𝒐𝒏 - 양정원

screams academic rival to lovers

you and him have always been neck and neck with each other in terms of academics

you've beaten him in certain classes and so has he, fueling your hatred for each other

but one day, you get paired to work together

and at first, you hate it and you hate him

but slowly, you start to realize just how kind and funny he is

jungwon has a similar encounter because after a few study sessions together, he realizes that he really has no other reason to hate you

your smart, sweet, funny, and really pretty, so he thinks, why not just become friends? why continue this rivalry?

when you two start dating, it shocks the whole school because wdym the two rivals are dating now???

occasional teasing about higher scores still happens tho <3

𝑵𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒎𝒖𝒓𝒂 𝑹𝒊𝒌𝒊 - 西村 力

ni-ki kinda gives like, enemies to lovers ngl...

but not really true enemies, just kinda like, he teases you a lot and you find him annoying

you don't exactly remember when it happened, but one day, ni-ki just stopped teasing you completely, replacing all the teasing with kind actions

this confused you so bad and when you questioned him about it, he just shrugged it off, hiding the blush on his cheeks

turns out, he's actually liked you for a while and when he went to get advice from his hyungs, they told him to stop annoying you and start being kind

this is all revealed to you when you actually become friends with him

you also confess that you've had a small crush on him as well and he's so excited >//<

he will ask you out so quickly bc he's just so happy that you like him back (OH MY GOSH HE'S SO CUTE TT)

but yeah, he still enjoys teasing you very much <3 just not as much

𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬: @en-diaries, @k-films, @k-nets

⚘. Perm taglist: @vmpivory, @yuvany, @seozii, @pinknjm, @greentulip, @jomisu, @nxzz-skz, @ancnymcnzjy

[getosbigballsack]

𝑻𝒐 𝑩𝒖𝒊𝒍𝒅 𝑨 𝑯𝒐𝒎𝒆❣︎

𝐸𝑥 𝐵𝑜𝑦𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝐺𝑜𝑗𝑜 𝑆𝑎𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑢 𝑥 𝐷𝑒𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

𝑺𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔: 𝐻𝑒𝑙𝑑 𝑜𝑛 𝑎𝑠 𝑡𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑎𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑑 𝑜𝑛 𝑚𝑒! 𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑚𝑦𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑏𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑡𝑜𝑜 𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑒.

𝑊𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔: 𝑇𝑟𝑖𝑔𝑔𝑒𝑟 𝑊𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 - 𝑆𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝐻𝑎𝑟𝑚, 𝑆𝑢𝑖𝑐𝑖𝑑𝑒 𝐴𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑚𝑝𝑡, 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑔𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑑𝑒𝑝𝑟𝑟𝑠𝑠𝑢𝑖𝑛, 𝐴𝑛𝑔𝑠𝑡... ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑦? 𝐸𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔?

𝐴𝑁: 𝐼𝑡𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑎 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑒, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝐼'𝑣𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛. 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑔𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑑𝑒𝑝𝑟𝑟𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛. 𝑌𝑂𝑈 𝐻𝐴𝑉𝐸 𝐵𝐸𝐸𝑁 𝑊𝐴𝑅𝑁𝐸𝐷.

𝑬𝒏𝒋𝒐𝒚!❤︎

Standing looking at the building before you. A place you once called home, a place you felt most comfortable to live freely, to smile, to laugh and most of all to love him. You breath a heavy sigh as you slowly approach the door, hand resting on the door knob, twisting slowly. “Hey,” you said out loud looking at the house that was once filled with his presence but he is no more. “Hey,” you whispered once again as you stepped inside and closed the door behind you. “I am back,” you whispered once more, tears welling up at the corner of your eyes as you looked around to see all the furniture, the picture of you and him still on the wall reminding you of your happy moments with him. 

Those happy moments he now shares with another woman. 

“Fuck!” You suddenly remembered that the man you love and the man that once loved you left you to be with someone else. You kicked off your heels, tossed your coat aside and went to sit on the couch, unable to stop your tears from rolling down your cheeks. “Why did you leave me?” you screamed out. “Why did you leave me?” 

A question you ask yourself so often knowing full well that you won’t receive an answer just by looking at all the answered calls to him on your phone, or the multiple photos you have of him in your phone. Or the picture frame that sat next to you on the coffee table. The picture frame that held a picture of you and him, together on your three year anniversary which was also your birthday. You remembered that day so well, because it was the same day he gifted you the necklace you now wear around your neck, pairing nicely with the black Victorian medieval dress that sat nicely on your figure. 

With tears still spilling your eyes, you picked up the picture frame, got up the sofa and slowly turned towards the stairs. As much as you would like to take one last look at the house you once shared with the man you loved, you were here for a purpose. You had something that you needed to do, something that needed to be taken care of, to stop the pain and the burning feeling that lived inside your heart daily. And that something is you. 

With one last look inside the living your turned your back gradually moved towards the stairs with the photo in hand. You forced a smile on your face knowing this will be all over soon, your broken heart would soon be healed from the hurt and the pain. “It’s time,” you said to yourself and you ascend up the stairs slowly until you've reached the top to make your way towards the bathroom where it will all end. 

You took a deep breath once you were standing in front of the bathroom that was already prepared from the day before. Black candles at the edge of the tub, a lighter and the knife ready and waiting for you to use. 

Is this the end for me? Am I really going to go like this? The words of your own consciousness wandered in your head as you walked into the bathroom, picked up the lighter and began lighting the candles and once you were through with lighting the candles, tossed the lighter in the corner of the bathroom before turning to focus on filling the tub with just enough water.

All because the man that I love left me for another woman? You watched as the top filled itself with cold water, enough to ensure that it covered your arms and chest.

It’s all over for me. “It’s all over for me,” you cried as you grabbed the knife, climbed into the tub and slowly sat down, trembling at the feeling of the cold water, and your wet dress clinging against your skin. 

“I hope you can forgive me,” you whispered as you stared at the knife and the photo that you still held onto. “I hope you can forgive me.” You rest the photo against your chest, pull up the sleeves of your dress, exposing your arms. 

TRIGGER WARNING - GRAPHIC SCENE OF SELF HARM 

You stared down at your arm and then at the blade, wondering if all the pain and heartache you feel will end. Of course it would all end, after all, the dead can’t feel a thing. You won’t feel a thing if you're dead. 

Your heart will stop aching, your eyes will no longer burn with salty tears. And your mind will no longer plague you with thoughts of him. No more thought of him holding you, kissing and loving you as though you're the only one that meant the world to him. 

No more thoughts of his hands caressing your face as he holds you tenderly and delicately, all while wrapped up in the sheets with him, making sweet love to you. 

It will all come to an end, with just a gentle press of the blade against your skin. 

And with that final thought, you slashed the blade against your wrist, watching as fresh blood oozed from your newly created wound. Funny how you felt no pain, too numb to even feel. So you did it again and again and again, until your arm looked raw, and the water in the tub turned red. 

You switched to the other hand and did the same, screaming his name until you had no breath left or no strength. You dropped the knife in the tub and you let your arms lay lazily in the tub. You rest your back against the tub, hang your head low and watch as you bleed out, knowing that within a matter of moments it would all end for you soon, in the house that you once shared with the man that you love. 

Seconds turned into minutes, and minutes turned into hours and as time slowly dragged on you began to your eyes getting heavy, you felt as though you were about to lose consciousness. Your body falls limp and you're slowly sliding down further into the tub until your head is under the blood red water. The last thing you saw before slowly closing your eyes with nothing but red. 

It’s going to be over now, it’s going to be over now, you thought as water filled your lungs and your eyes finally closed, knowing that death came to claim your life.

Earlier

He sighed heavily, removing one of your many letters from the pocket of his sweatpants to read. He had promised his friend that he would respond to you, and to explain that you did nothing wrong. He was just too blind to see how much of a perfect girl you are in his eyes and now that he fucked up and left you. He has got to stick and deal with his mistakes and love you from a distance. He hopes you’ll understand. 

He had hoped he would see a letter reminding him of the many fun moments you shared together in high school or even the first year of college. But it was far from that, something was odd about your letter. It made his heart feel heavy. It made him feel uneasy. 

Hey you, I guess you are probably tired of reading my letters. I’m sorry and I hope you can forgive me for feeling as though I had a special place in your heart. I see it clearly now, that you have moved on and you’re happy with her now. Anyways, I want to say goodbye. This is my final letter to you. I won't write to you anymore and you don’t have to see my face anymore. I’m going to go away for a very long time, you won’t see me for a while. I guess it’s for the best right. 

Uhm… I love you and I will always love you. I hope that you’ll never forget me, I hope that you hold on to me and those memories we share because I won’t have them anymore. I’m sorry. I wish I was given another chance to kiss your lips when I say to you my final goodbye. 

I love you. 

Y/N.

A panicked chuckle escaped his lips as he reached for his phone, in search of your number and quickly pressed the phone against his ears. 

What do you mean? I don’t understand, where are you going? Why are you leaving and what do you mean by your leaving for a very long time? All these questions ran through his mind as he waited for you to pick up the phone. 

But you did not. 

So he called again. 

And again. 

Again and again.

Again and again and again. 

But no answer. Cold sweat started to form at the temple of his head, his hand sweating as he scrolled through his phone in high hopes that he still had your best friend's number and he did. He wasted no time calling the number and with a matter of second she answered crying frantically over the phone. She did wait for him to utter a single word already knowing why he contact her, so she starts screaming

“She’s gone, I don’t know where she is. Y/N’s gone.” He knew what she meant by she’s gone but he still asked. 

“Gone where?”

“I don’t know. I saw a message on my phone from her telling me goodbye and some other stuff. I asked her what she meant and she just told me not to look for her. I tried calling her phone but she did not answer,” your best friend screamed even more. “She sent me the message today, but she’s been missing since yesterday and I can’t find her. I’ve looked everywhere I can, but I can’t find her.” 

A single tear fell from his eyes trying his best to hold his composure. He had to know more. Maybe the last location your friend was able to pick and so he asked, and he assured her that he was going to help search for her. So your best friend told him and his heart sank immediately because he knew that the location that your best friend provided him with was very familiar. 

That’s how he found himself in his car speeding down the highway.

Speeding can only lead to one thing and that’s death. But somehow he knew that even if he was going 200 miles on the highway, death would not claim him tonight because he had to get you. 

Palms sweating heart beating heavily against his chest, just hoping, hoping that you have not done the unthinkable. His friends warned him that this day would come, knowing how fragile you’ve become. How broken, bruised and battered your mind was after he just one day decided that it would be best to end the relationship all because he claimed that he fell in love with someone else and that he didn’t love you anymore. 

He’s so stupid, stupid to believe that you would move on from him and love another when you realize that he was never good for you. A good man would not leave his perfect girl to go be with another one. 

“Fuck!” he screamed, slamming his hand on the steering wheel as he pulled into the neighborhood and in front of the house he once shared with you. He rushed out of the car, leaving in engine running and all, bare feet, no sock, no shoes, only a white button down shirt and his sweatpants hanging loosely around his hips and he rushed inside of the house. 

“Y/N,” he screamed upon entering the house and seeing your heels near the entrance. “Y/N, he screamed again as he began screaming. A pit of discomfort and unease settled in his stomach as he searched around for you. The kitchen is empty. Living room, empty. Garage, empty and every other room downstairs is empty. “Y/N,” he shouted yet again. His head was pounding as he rushed up the stairs. He was about to search the bedrooms, but a faint light coming from the bathroom caught his eyes. His heart stopped beating for a moment, tears welling up in his eyes as he stared at the light coming through the bathroom. 

“No, no, no don’t tell me she… Y/N,” he screamed as he rushed into the bathroom. He almost fell to his knees. Seeing the horrid sight before him, screaming as he rushed towards the tub to see you under the blood red water, eyes slowly closing. 

Though he was shocked for a moment, he was quick to snap out of it as he reached for you inside the tub. He rests you on the floor and knees beside you. He had tears running down his cheeks as he rested his head against your chest to check to see if there was any sign of a heart beat. And there was, though it was faint, he could still hear your heart beating. 

He cried, “Oh my God.” He moved from your chest if you were breathing and you weren’t. So he began CPR, pumping and breathing and rubbing at your chest until finally he heard you cough, watching as the bloody water spewed from your lips. He was quick to turn you over on your side to let the water drain from your lips and once he was certain that all the water had left your body he quickly laid your head on his lap and grabbed your arm to see blood and the wounds that you have created

“Y/N, please answer me,” he cried out, as he ripped pieces of his shirt to wrap around both hands. Once he was through, he called you again, shaking you even smacking you just a bit against your cheeks until you groaned. “Y/N, I’m here now. I’m so sorry.” 

Your eyes fluttered a bit, hearing the muffled sounds of someone crying. You groaned again, twisting your head slowly to the side before opening your eyes and even though it was blurry and your head felt light and dizzy, you could easily recognize that head of white hair and blue eyes staring down at you. Weak trembling cold hands found a way to rest upon his cheek, as you whispered, “Satoru?”

“Yes, baby it’s me… It’s ok, I’m going to get you to the hospital now ok, so stay with me. I got you”

And that was the last thing you heard for going unconscious once more.

𝑻𝒐 𝑩𝒆 𝑪𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒖𝒆𝒅

@getosbigballsack 2025

[vashti-lives]

One of my pet causes is children's rights because western culture is strongly built on the idea that children aren't really people and the United States has, to this day, embraced this. I'm sure this is not the first time you're seeing the concept that we as a society don't really consider children people but on the left people tend to assume this is a right wing only problem that they don't need to personally unpack or deal with.

"Just leave your red state" REALLY fucking brings home that the left ALSO has problems comprehending children as people. Even if we lived in a beautiful alternate reality where Mackenzie Scott would personally pay the moving and living costs of any marginalized or disenfranchised person who wanted to leave a republican run state "just leave" would still be a fucking untenable political position because you know who can't "just leave" FUCKING CHILDREN.

Kids do not choose where they're born or who their parents are. Kids have virtually no agency in their life. And they still deserve basic human rights!!! The sixteen year old trans boy I know fucking deserves access to puberty blockers and hormones! My seventeen year old intern deserves an abortion if she needs one! My boss's seven year old who's currently exploring gender possibilities deserves equal access to school opportunities no matter what they end up deciding.

And more than that every child deserves access to health care, fresh food, clean water, safe housing and good education. No matter who their parents voted for!!!! Anyone who's political policies involve abandoning some of THE most vulnerable people in our country because helping them would be hard can go fuck themselves. Every time I see a smug Californian or New Yorker say online that REALLY we should just leave the republicans to their fate I think about every kid we'd be abandoning with them and it makes me want to give them a goddamn swirly.

There is swiftly going to come a time when many marginalized people are going to have to make the fucking heart breaking choice to leave places they love because those places are too hostile to stay, but that's not something anyone can do lightly. In the meantime every time I see a more privileged person tell someone marginalized they should "just leave" their fucking home I want to ask-- are you going to take their place? Because right now in red states all over the country fucking nobody is working harder to make kids lives better than the marginalized adults around them and who the fuck is going to do it if we all have to leave?

How about instead of asking people in red states why they don't just leave, you ask yourself why you don't move here to come help us? No? Okay then, shut the fuck up.

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Start of Time

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.5k

Warnings: angst, panic attack, almost fainting, fluff at the end

Summary: Hotch is the only parent you have left, so you’re a bit overprotective of him. When he comes up with a plan to stop an unsub, you’re the only one who’s not on board.

Square Filled: fainting for @badthingshappenbingo

Author’s Note: this fic is based on the song "Start of Time" by Gabrielle Aplin. I also pulled inspiration from that scene in Teen Wolf where Lydia kissed Stiles for the first time since he was having a panic attack. You all know the scene.

x

“You’re kidding, right?” You look at Rossi. “Is he kidding? Did I hear him right?”

“No, you heard it right,” Hotch sighs.

“No, you’re not going to do that. End of discussion. You’re not going to put your life on the line for some psychopath.”

“You have no authority over me.”

“That’s bullshit.”

You slam your hands on the table and leave the briefing room to calm yourself down. Spencer watches you leave with a frown, itching to go after you to comfort you.

“Y/N!” Hotch calls after you, but you ignore him.

“I’ll go after her,” Spencer says and leaves the briefing room.

Hotch looks at Rossi who just shrugs. “Don’t look at me. You said it was fine to have your daughter on the team.”

You’d normally not go after Hotch’s throat like that but he’s the only parent you have left since your mother died a few years ago. Anything that puts his life on the line, you immediately object to. He understands you’re looking out for him but he has a job to do. You knew this when you signed up to be in the FBI academy.

You walk into the bathroom and turn the faucet on to splash some water on your face. The thought of your dad going in to face off against a psychopath and dying makes your heart race and sweat build up on your neck. You look around the empty bathroom and squeeze your eyes shut tightly to ward off the panic attack.

The door opens and Spencer walks in without a word. He immediately pulls you into a hug that slows your racing heart. He calms you down before the panic attack can get too far, and you hug Spencer back. He rubs your back and sighs knowing all you’re ever going to see him as is a friend. He likes you a lot but you haven’t given him any indication that you like him back, so he’s kept his feelings for you a secret. The last thing he’s going to do is tell you how he feels, especially not now when all you’re worried about is your dad.

“Sorry,” you whisper and pull away from him.

“Don’t ever be sorry.”

“You have to help me, Spencer. He wants to go inside that bank alone. Make him change his mind.”

“Y/N…”

“Patrick is one of the worst unsubs we’ve ever dealt with. He kills for fun, for sport. If my dad goes in there alone, he’ll kill him. He’s my only family, Spencer. Make him change his mind.”

“I know.” Spencer sighs. “I can’t promise anything but there might be another way to get to Patrick.”

Patrick has the same tragic backstory as all the other unsubs, and he’s hellbent on making humanity suffer for what he went through. He has so much anger for humans that he’s taking out anyone and everyone. He went to rob a bank to fund his trip across the pond, and he’s taken the entire bank hostage. The only reason he hasn’t killed them all is because they might be the key to getting him out of there alive.

Your job is to get the hostages out safely before SWAT can move in on Patrick. Hotch wants to go in and negotiate with Patrick into letting the hostages go, but you can’t fathom the idea of him going in there with someone like Patrick. SWAT and local police already have the streets blocked off to prevent anyone else from getting hurt.

“Garcia, were you able to get the blueprints of the bank?” Hotch asks when the team arrives.

“Yes, and because there are the sewers below it, I also got the layout for that as well. It might be your only way into the bank.”

She lays out the blueprints on the hood of the police car and Derek traces the pipes from the bank to a manhole cover that’s a block away with his finger.

“We can get into the bank through here. Looks like there is a gate blocking the way in, so we’ll have to break it. We’ll need someone on the inside to distract him so he doesn’t hear us.”

“Alright, Morgan, take Prentiss and three officers with you through the sewers. Wait for my word.”

They leave immediately, and Spencer looks at you in worry.

“Who is going to go inside and distract?”

“I don’t know,” Hotch answers.

He and Rossi step off to the side, and you look at the bank in concern.

“It’s going to be okay,” Spencer comforts you.

“I hope so. Sometimes I wonder if it was right for me to take this job.”

“What do you mean?”

“After my mom died, my dad got overprotective of me. He kept warning me of the dangers of this world. I wanted to help people like him, and the academy seemed like the right thing to do. My dad is the Unit Chief of the BAU. That had some pull in the academy. I was looking at a job upstate as an officer, but then a spot opened on the team. I wanted to be closer to my dad so I took the job. Now, I see the horrors of this job and every opportunity to lose him. He’s the best dad I could ask for. I don’t think I could bear losing him to someone like Patrick.”

Spencer pulls you in for a hug and rubs your back.

“That won’t happen.”

You look at the bank once more and your face is twisted in horror. Your dad is walking toward the bank’s front doors… alone.

“Dad!” You push Spencer away and start to run toward him. However, arms wrap around your waist to prevent you from following him. “No, let me go! Dad! Dad, please don’t go!”

Your dad disappears inside the bank, and you break down in tears. Rossi keeps his arms around you until he knows you’re not going to run after him. You step back from Rossi as a panic attack hits you in the face. Suddenly, you can’t breathe and your heart is beating too fast for you to keep up with.

“You need to calm down, Y/N,” Spencer says.

“I… can’t… I… Da…”

Hot tears are running down your cheeks, and you start hyperventilating at the thought of your dad dying right now. You're gonna faint.

“Kid, get her to calm down,” Rossi says.

Spencer doesn’t think twice about this. He grabs you and plants his lips over yours. Your eyes widen in shock but you close them once you feel how natural it is to kiss Spencer. Your heart rate slows down, your head becomes clear, and you relax against Spencer’s body. He pulls away from you but stays close enough so that the only thing you see is him.

His honey-brown eyes are warm and comforting, and his lips are soft and swollen from the kiss. Suddenly, you hear gunshots go off inside the bank, and that breaks you out of your trance. You push Spencer away from you and book it toward the bank without a second thought. This time, no one holds you back.

The hostages are in the corner with the three officers, Patrick is lying on the ground bleeding from a gunshot wound on his shoulder, and all three BAU agents are standing above him with their guns on him. Most importantly, your dad is alive and well. You immediately run over to your dad and hug him, thankful that he survived this.

“I was always going to be fine, Y/N.”

“I thought I lost you,” you cry.

“I’m right here.”

Patrick is arrested, the hostages are saved, and no one got hurt. Now that you’re back at the BAU, you have time to think about what Spencer did to you. Spencer is at his desk finishing some paperwork when you approach him from behind.

“Hey, Spencer.”

He turns around and smiles when he sees you. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m good now. Thank you for…”

You can’t finish your sentence but Spencer knows what you’re saying.

“Yeah, anytime,” he nods.

“You kissed me.”

“I know. I was there.”

“There are other ways to stop a panic attack. Why did you kiss me?”

“I read once that holding your breath can stop a panic attack so when I kissed you, you held your breath.”

“I did?” you whisper.

“Yeah, you did.”

“Was that the only reason you kissed me?”

Spencer opens his mouth to answer but decides against what he really wants to say. “Yes.”

Your face falls in disappointment but you bounce back quickly in hopes he didn’t see it.

“Oh, well, thank you.”

You pass by him to walk away when he grabs your hand. He sees the disappointment, and he takes that as his sign. He stands and pulls you closer to him, and you look into his eyes hopefully.

“That wasn’t the only reason. I like you a lot.”

You smile. “Well, I like you a lot.”

“I know this Indian place with really good food. Want to get dinner with me?”

“Yes,” you smile.

Hotch stands by his window and watches everyone work. He sees you and Spencer by his desk, and he definitely sees the smile on your face. Spencer grabs your hand and leaves with you, and Hotch smiles. Spencer is a good guy, and you’d do well with someone like him.

x

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[back2bluesidex]

Misconception - MYG ft. KSJ

Pairing: Yoongi X Fem!reader X Seokjin

Theme: Angst, friends to ? au, cheating

Wordcount: 1.2k+

Summary: You and Yoongi have been friends for nine years, you have loved him for five of those. But reciveing nothing but pain from his end you decide to move on only for Yoongi to come breaking down your resolve.

Warnings: Jealous Yoongi, bad decisions, kissing without permission, cheating

Minors are not allowed in this blog!!

A/N: Just a little piece from Six Degrees of Separation.

Read the full Series here

Yoongi knows it’s unfair and childish but he doesn’t like this Kim Seokjin at all. 

For one, he is unbelievably handsome. 

For two, he seems to really like you. 

And Yoongi never liked the guys who liked you too much. While back then, he never acted upon his disapproval because he was sure of his irreplaceable position in your life, now he is not sure anymore. 

His eyes land on you with every little chance he gets tonight. He is aware that he is staring at you much more than it’s socially acceptable but honestly, he doesn’t give a damn. 

While staring at you, he had made a couple of eye contacts with Seokjin, which really pissed him off. 

He doesn’t like being caught red-handed. 

“Can you show me the way to the restroom?” Seokjin’s voice is as sweet as his face. Yoongi absolutely hates it. 

“Sure. That door.” he vaguely points towards the washroom. Seokjin leaves but not before giving him a cryptic glance. 

As soon as the man is inside the restroom, he finds his feet working on autopilot and in moments he is standing before you. 

“You look good.” he says shamelessly as if he didn’t burn you with his cigarette just a year back. Your face morphs into hurt, then sarcasm all within a second. 

“Thanks.” avoiding looking at him, you take a large sip from your glass. Your ignorance stings him like a freshly injected needle. 

“Have you eaten anything? Or are you drinking again on an empty stomach? You know you don’t do good-” it’s his habit to babysit you and old habits die hard.

“The Yoongi that pushed me that night at Jimin’s place and the Yoongi before me are completely different. Why are you pretending so hard, Yoongi? Are you afraid I might step in between you two? If you are then don’t worry. I am not as bad as you think of me. Chill.” you cut him off, try to leave him behind but he stops you. His hand holds you in place and his heart thumps from the skin-to-skin connection. 

“I am not pretending. I am repenting. I- I am extremely ashamed for the way I behaved with you that night. I regret everything. Every single thing, Y/N.” so many unsaid words threaten to spill out of his throat. He is not sure about anything anymore. 

Not about himself, not about Hyeri, not about you. 

“I don’t know how that matters anymore. You can’t take back what you said and did and I.. I can’t go back being your friend. So, let’s just stop here. Congratulations on taking your relationship with my cousin a step ahead. My good wishes will always be with you two.” you smile but it falters. 

“Y/N, please-” he tries to say something, anything that will make you listen to him. But fate has different plans. 

“Yoongi, what are you doing here?” Hyeri butts in and the only chance Yoongi could get with you, slips away right through the gaps between his fingers. 

“Attention everyone.” Hyeri claps her hands, “thanks for joining us this evening. As you know me and my boyfriend finally decided to move in together after dating for five years. But there is more to it. Not only did we decide to move on but also to finally put a ring on each other as the first thing in the new year. So, today also serves as the official invitation for you all to our engagement ceremony which will be held sometime next month. Please bless us with your well wishes. Even though we have fifteen minutes left, a very happy new year to you all!” 

Yoongi’s blood boils. He sees red. Hyeri has truly crossed the line now. They have no fucking plan of exchanging any kind of rings for at least six more months. She is all over the place with her lies, competition to walk over you - It was the last nail in his coffin. 

He will have to take a step now. 

“What do you think you are doing?” he seethes, anger pours through his eyes. 

Hyeri acts all innocent again, “what?” 

“You know what I am talking about.” 

“Oh that? I just said it on a whim. Chill, it’s just rings. Let’s get it in installments. We can invite only a few people and get done with the engagement ceremony-” “You know what? Fuck you.” Yoongi cuts her off and leaves for the balcony. 

It’s already past midnight, a new year, a completely new day. And he will make sure to make it a new beginning for him. 

His heart drops to his stomach when an unexpected sight unfolds before him. 

Your lips are lost in Seokjin’s mouth. He is holding you by your waist, while you wrap him by his neck. He has draped his blazer on you to keep you warm. 

You two kiss and kiss and kiss not giving a damn about being caught by anyone in the action. Unbeknownst to Yoongi, his teeth girt with each other.  

This. this could have been him and you only had he not have Hyeri - wait. What is he even thinking? 

He clears his throat to break through the troubled thoughts that have clouded his mind and reduced visibility to zero. 

You two part your mouths being alert of the presence of a third person. 

You look at him, he looks at you. So many things remain unsaid, unchanged but at the same time blooming into existence. 

“I think it’s time we leave. I will get the car ready.” Seokjin announces, sounding breathless due to the kiss. 

“I will quickly see Hyeri.” You nod. 

“I will walk you out.” Yoongi joins even when he absolutely didn’t have to. 

You two get into the elevator after you exchange a quick bye and a hug with Hyeri. She had pinned him down with a glare but he didn’t care. He needs to talk to you, even when he doesn’t know what he should say. 

“Thanks for coming.” he starts. 

You scoff, “Are you mocking me?” 

He turns his head to look at you. Your lipstick is a little smeared around the small of your mouth - it’s Seokjin’s doing, he wants to rub it off, preferably with his tongue. 

Fuck! No! He scolds himself before opening his mouth to offer an explanation, “No. You joining us tonight have been fruitful to me. I got answers to so many of my questions.” 

“What?” you chuckle humorlessly, “what question? That you are finally ready to tie the knot? That you-” 

Yoongi grabs you by the lapels of your winter coat and crashes his lips on you. Later, he will blame it on his intrusive thoughts. Now, he will let himself enjoy it. 

He kisses you with intent, sucks your lower lip as if it’s his first meal after days. You stay unmoving, not kissing him but not pushing him away either. 

He bites on your lower lip, asking for entrance. You put your hands on his chest and push him away lightly. 

Your pupils are blown out. There are so many questions dancing around your eyes. Yoongi is sure he has answers to none of it. 

Your face remains blank. 

“I won’t ask you what the fuck was that. Guess we are even now.” you say. The elevator dings as if to rescue you from him. You walk out without glancing at him again. 

He remains in the elevator, watches as the door shuts, cutting you off of his line of sight. 

Yoongi really fucked up a big time.  

Read the full Series here

[eand47]

Chapter VIII | The Beach

Summary: You moved to one of the biggest cities in the world - Grand Line to pursue filmmaking career. Soon enough your path will cross with the vocalist of upcoming band called “The Neighbourhood”. At first you decided to be just friends - because it would be easier, but sadly as everything in life sometimes by taking the easy path we regret a lot of things.

Main characters: Portgas D Ace x Reader (female)

Supporting characters: Nami, Usopp, Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Law, Deuce, Shanks, Buggy, Sabo, Eustass Kid, Koala, Robin, Dave (OC)

Description: Modern AU | Musician Ace

WARNINGS: explicit language, mentions of alcohol, mentions of cigarettes/nicotine, mentions of childhood trauma, mentions of loneliness, aggressive content, graphic description of violence, heavy angst, family trauma, mentions of blood, mentions of stabbing wound, mentions of broken bones, slapping across the face, heavy angst, mentions of death, slight hints of depression

Word Count: 20,2K

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NOTE: First I want to thank you all for the patience ♡ I now that it has been a month since I last posted a chapter, but I had a little writers block (and two more fics) and I wasn't exactly sure how I want to structure this chapter and what should I left for the next one, but the chapter turned out pretty long anyway, so at least next one will be out faster as I already know what I want to write about in it ♡ Just to add something quick for those of you who have watched the show 'Shameless' the house and the neighborhood where the ASL trio grew up is the exact same vibe. Also please note when you read the last part of the chapter that I have purposely referred to Reader as 'you' and not as 'her' as this is the first time where you have an interaction between her/you and Ace from mostly Ace POV, so it's not a writing mistake. I have some more things to say, but I will keep them for the end note as I don't want to spoil anything for you, so enjoy ♡

Twenty years ago

Walking into the house and kicking his shoes off the little kid with bloody nose grumbled as he heard his aunt talking loudly to someone, probably on the phone. Rolling his eyes the child tried to sneak in quietly through the hallway to go to his room, but his attempts were unsuccessful.

“Ace.” Dadan’s loud voice filled the house, causing Ace to roll his eyes. “Don’t try to sneak in, brat. I saw you coming from the window.”

Rolling his eyes again, the six years old child made his way to the kitchen. Walking in, his eyes landed on the tall overweight woman, who had a cigarette between her lips as always. Her curly long ginger hair was falling freely on her broad shoulders and her brown eyes were now fixated on Ace.

“Did you get in a fight, again?” She eyed him up and down carefully, waiting for the child to start speaking.

“What do you think Dadan?” Ace angrily scrunched his whole face as he looks at Dadan. Taking a long puff from her cigarette, Dadan just shook her head as she turned her attention back to the boiling pot on the stove.

“Go get clean.” She told Ace, who stormed out from the kitchen and made his way upstairs to his room. “Ah, Rogue. How could you leave me this son of yours, who is good for nothing.” She mumbled to herself. “This kid will end up like his dad one day.”

Going to the bathroom, Ace grabbed the little step ladder there and climbed on it to open the cabinet where first emergency kit was. Dadan had stopped cleaning his bloody nose long time ago as she got tired of him getting into fights every other day with the older kids in the street. That was why Ace had to learn how to clean his own bloody nose alone, along with the bruises on his body.

For only a six years old child he was quite independent mostly due to the fact that Dadan couldn’t manage with his behaviour and has given up on trying to discipline him. For his age Ace was a menace – too angry and grumpy for a kid. He got kicked out from kindergarten for bad behaviour and terrorising the rest of the children, for which Dadan was now stuck to stay home most of the time because leaving him alone would be against the law. Not like she did spend time with him, but in case someone calls the child services she must be around. It had happened once, they came to look at their home because someone’s mother from the kindergarten had called on the family, if you could call it one. Thankfully Dadan had connections with one of the heads of the social works and he saved her and Ace from being separated, but for this she must return him a big number of favours.

Sometimes Dadan wondered if it was worth it - yes, Ace was her beloved little sister’s child, but he had taken none of her kindness, the kid was a walking disaster and a copy of his father, the only thing he had from her sister were the freckles. That was why sometimes she was questioning if Ace would have been better off in some foster family or adopted by somebody else, but Dadan had promised Rouge that she would take care of him no matter what because it was her death wish. If Rouge was alive, Dadan was sure she would have taken better care of the boy, as Dadan herself was lacking all the mother instincts, something her sister always had and wanted.

Ace was a wanted child by both of his parents, but he would never know about this or even if he did, he wouldn’t believe it. He knew some things regarding who his mother was and how she looked, but when it came to his father, he knew nothing about him but that he was a well known and wanted criminal who died before Ace was born and from whom he has taken everything bad. As Dadan once screamed at him ‘You are good for nothing, brat. Just like the father of yours.’ These words have echoed in his ears since then.

Cleaning the blood off his nose, Ace stepped down from the small ladder and put it back to the side. Exiting the bathroom with a kick of the door, Ace went straight to his room. Opening and closing the door to it, he quickly locked it in case Dadan decided to come and bothered him.

The room was pretty small – with only a single bed and a small nightstand on the side and not so big wardrobe. Ace didn’t have many toys or books to begin with so the room wasn’t full of the typical things that other children might have in their rooms. Getting on his knees next to the bed, Ace reached with his hands for the little shoe box he has hidden under it. Inside the box was filled with things he had stolen from other children – Hot Wheels, which Dadan would never buy him until he would learn to behave and because of it Ace took it in his own hands to find a way to have them, some Lego pieces and his most recent and treasured of them all – an iPod with a pair of headphones.

Ace stole the iPod two day ago, from some teenage girl at the nearby park. He saw how she and her friends weren’t paying attention to their surroundings so the moment he spotted the iPod in the side pocket of her bag he was determined to have it. Walking closer to them he tripped on purpose and started to “cry” to which the girls immediately jumped to help him as who wouldn’t help a little adorable kid like him. While the girls were trying to cheer him up, he used the time to ask them for an ice cream and all four of them were quick to jump and run to buy him one, leaving all their belongings on the side. By the time they were back, Ace had left with the iPod and the headphones. The girl, from whom he has stolen the iPod, didn’t realise that it was missing until she was on her way home, but even then, it didn’t cross her mind that it was Ace who had stolen it, and it was probably her who dropped it somewhere.

The only problem that Ace had now was that the iPod was almost out of battery, and he didn’t have any charger for it, nor he was sure of how to charge it. Asking Dadan would lead to a fight with her, and she wasn’t very good with electronics so he must find a solution on his own. Placing the headphones on his head Ace started going through the songs on the iPod, luckily for him, the girl from who he stole it had a lot of songs on it, but not all of them matched his taste.

Music has always calmed him, and it also made him feel connected to his mom. He had seen many pictures of her holding a guitar while singing, once on a very old video tape he even heard her singing. His mother had a beautiful and melodic voice, one he could listen to for hours. Sometimes while listening to music Ace would catch himself singing along or humming the song he was currently listening to, which was very comforting for him. Not only he found something to connect with his mother, but also something that gave him the peace of mind.

Laying down on the bed with the headphones on his ears and some song he has never heard before, Ace closed his eyes, a deep exhale coming out of his chest into the air. The song was very old compared to the other ones on the iPod, which were more modern and with more fasten rhythm, but this one was slow and sensual.

Say my name Sun shines through the rain Do you understand? Do you feel the same? Am I only dreaming? Is this burning an eternal flame?

Listening closely to the lyrics, Ace was tapping with his finger on the bed following the rhythm of the song. He wasn’t a fan of love songs at all, let alone a love ballad, but there was something catchy about this one.

A whole life so lonely And then come and ease the pain I don't wanna lose this feelin', oh

Ace never knew what affection or love was. Dadan was never gentle with him nor affectionate, she was there for him to provide what he needed the most which was a roof over his head and a meal on the table. She had said it to him – “Don’t mistake me for a mother, I ain’t one.” And this has stuck with him since then. He has never ever even received a hug from her, not even on his birthday. Until he was four years old, Ace didn’t even know when his birthday was. One day he just woke up and was met with a cake in the kitchen and a ‘Happy Birthday, brat’ from Dadan and that was it, since that day he knew when his birthday was, but it was never something special, it was never something worth celebrating in their household.

Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling

A single tear ran down his round cheek and he was quick to wipe it away with the back of his hand. Ace never cries. He couldn’t and shouldn’t – ‘big strong men don’t cry’, that was what he was told. And he was one - a big strong man, in the body of a six years old child who craved nothing but some affection. A child which needed someone to wrap their arms around his tiny form and tell him that everything would be alright.

The song was at its final chorus when Ace heard a loud banging on the door. He sat straight in the bed immediately as he heard Dadan voice.

“What are you doing locked there, brat? Open the door immediately.” Her loud and raspy voice from all the cigarettes she has smoked echoed through the house. Removing the headphones from his head, Ace hid them and the iPod under his pillow. Jumping out of bed quickly he went and unlocked the door, opening it with one swift move.

“What do you want Dadan?” The little boy asked with an angry voice and frown brows.

“Dinner’s ready. Come downstairs – Dogra and Magra are home now, and we have something important to speak about.” She said and left without waiting for response from the child. Closing the door once again, Ace made sure to put back the iPod in the box under his bed.

Going downstairs into the kitchen, Dogara – a short skinny bald man with a clean shaved face and Magra – a tall very muscular man with a long mustache and bright red hair shaved on both sides. leaving only some hair in the middle, were sitting on the round table. They were living with him and Dadan, since Ace could remember, so they were practically a family. Ace took his usual sit next to Dogara and waited for Dadan to place the food on the table.

Placing the pot of stew in the middle of the table, Dadan filled her and Ace’s plate and Dogara and Magara did the same. Ace tried reaching with his hand for some bread and Dogara saw his struggle to reached it, so he handed it to him easily.

“There you go, Ace.” He said with a smile as Ace snatched the loaf from his hands.

“Say thanks, brat.” Dadan was quick to scoff the little boy as he was lacking all kind of manners. He only rolled his eyes to her and took a big bite of the bread not carrying about what he was being told.

The adults on the table were having a conversation while Ace was just focused on his food not paying attention to whatever they were walking about.

“Listen, Ace.” Dadan’s voice interrupted his thoughts. Moving his eyes from his plate to her, Ace fixed his gaze on Dadan. “From next month you are going to pre-school and this time you will behave, okay! You heard me clearly, brat?” She gave him a stern look which was met with Ace’s unbothered eyes. “Also, Garp came by two days ago. We are going to foster a kid your age from next week, which means you both are going to pre-school, and you are also going to share your room with him.”

Hearing this Ace whole face scrunched with anger. Why should he share? Why was Dadan fostering another kid when she was barely paying any attention to Ace? Why wasn’t he enough?

“I’m not sharing my room.” He yelled angrily at her as he dropped his spoon in the plate splashing some of the food around the table and on the floor.

“You have no saying in this, brat. Dogara and Magra are going to buy and build a bunk bed tomorrow in your room so make sure to clean around the shit you have.” Dadan had no choice but to raise her voice at him a bit, as he was stubborn as aways, never making things easy for her.

The chair on which Ace sat made a loud quacking noise on the floor as Ace pulled it away from the table and jumped off it, storming out from the kitchen. ‘Stupid Dadan, stupid house and stupid kid’ He was murmuring to himself as he was running up the stairs and going straight to his room. Closing the door shut after himself and locking it, he ran to the bed and pulled out the box under it, taking the iPod off it. Placing the headphones over his head and laying on the bed, he played the old ballad love song. Ace closed his eyes and turned around burring his face in the pillow, biting on it he tried his best not to let the tears fall from his eyes as his little fists were clenching the bedsheets. Soon the room was filled with the sound on his quiet sobs. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair for him to have to share when he barely had anything to begin with. It wasn’t fair for another kid to come and live with them when Dadan didn’t even want Ace in a first place or did she only feel this way about Ace? Did she only not want Ace? Why didn’t she want him in a fist place? They shared the same blood after all. He was her sister’s child, she was his aunt – why was she never nice and loving towards him? Ace knew that he was very bad behaving child, and he didn’t like this, but at the same time he couldn’t help it, because it was only then when Dadan would pay him any attention. It was only then when he could get any attention from her. Ace didn’t want much, he only wished to feel wanted by someone, anyone. Yet, this wish seemed to be impossible.

‘You are good for nothing.’ The words echoed through the child’s mind again. Was this true? Was he never going to be good at something? Was he going to cause trouble all his life? Was he never going to find someone to love and accept him with all his flaws – not even a friend? Would he ever find a friend in this world? Why was he cursed to be all by himself and lonely?

A year later

Laughter filled the house when the two young boys burst in it after their first day in school. Kicking their shoes on the side and ready to run upstairs they were interrupted by Dadan’s voice calling them from the living room. With a groan the two kids followed the voice and walked in the room only to see her sitting on the very old and worn-out couch, but to their surprise next to her on it was sitting a little boy no older than three years old, with a runny nose and eyes filled with tears. Both Ace and Sabo looked at each other with confusion written all over their faces.

“This is Luffy, and he will be part of the family from now on, come on Luffy introduce yourself.” Hearing her voice being almost tender Ace was taken aback by the fact that Dadan could be this gentle towards a child. Not only the softness in her voice but also the way she was caressing the child’s back so gently made his eyes widen. She has never been this tender with him nor he could remember if she has. He has seen some of her calmer side with Sabo, but never this gentle, never this carrying. “It’s okay, Luffy. They will be nice towards you.” She encouraged the little child to look up and speak to the two older children. With a trembling lip he finally gained the courage to look up at them and as he was parting his lips to introduce himself, Luffy got interrupted.

“What the hell, Dadan?” Ace angry voice filled up the room.

“Watch your tongue, brat.” Dadan yelled at him with a warning tone.

“Why are you fostering another kid?” Ace’s little fists squeezed and his brows frowned as his eyes were moving between Dadan and the cry baby next to her. He might have been only seven, but Ace knew how much they were struggling financially and that they were barely making the ends, with this kid around the house this was only going to worsen things even more.

 “None of your concern, brat.” She cut him off and turned again to Luffy. “Come on now, don’t mind those two, especially the brat one.” Dadan side-eyed Ace with a warn in her eyes to behave.

“I-I’m Luffy a-and I-I’m three years old.” Said the little boy with hair as black and messy as Ace’s. Even his eyes were a similar colour to his, if they were to stand next to each other, someone might mistake them for brothers. Dadan clapped with her hands and congratulated Luffy for being brave by introducing himself.

“Now you two.” Her tone completely changed for Ace and Sabo.

“Hey Luffy, my name is Sabo, and this here is Ace.” Sabo, the blonde boy who Dadan took in her home a year ago, smiled at Luffy and pointed with his thumb towards Ace who just scowled at Luffy. “We are both seven years old and we just started elementary school.”

If Ace was a grumpy menace, then Sabo was almost the same – he was just smart enough to hid it from Dadan and other adults around, in front of them he was just a sweet polite child, which even in their household was barely receiving a “no”.

To everyone’s surprise it didn’t take long for Ace and Sabo to get along, in fact they were the same when in came to mischiefs, but it was mostly Ace who was taking the blame for it. Sabo usually would get a scold while Ace would get scold and yelled at the same time. But Ace was telling himself that this was okay, after all he was carrying the cross of the black sheep in the family on his back.

“Luffy is going to sleep in your room. We al-”

“What? There isn’t any space left, you old hag.” Ace yelled and got closer to Dadan and Luffy.

“Who are you calling an old hag, you brat.” Dadan yelled back at him and got up from the couch. Her tall form casting a shadow over Ace, but he didn’t even flinch, this encounter between them was something typical.

“This cry baby is not allowed in my room.” His eyes moved to Luffy who was looking at him with widen tearily eyes and then back to the angry woman in front of him. Turning around angrily, Ace stormed out of the room.

“This is not your room only, brat.” Dadan yelled after him. “Sabo, take Luffy with you and show him the room.” She turned then to Sabo as she grabbed Luffy’s small hand and made him stand up from the couch. Sabo just nodded and took the little kid’s hand in his and lead him upstairs to their room.

Entering the room both Sabo and Luffy’s eyes widen from the sight in front of them – the bedsheets and the pillow on the bed, which was placed next to the window and prepared for Luffy, were torn apart and threw on the ground. Kicking the pillow right in Luffy’s face Ace stepped closer to him, his eyes full of rage.

 “You are not welcomed here little shit, keep this in mind.”

Nine years later

It was a nice warm autumn day and music was blasting from the garage and could be heard from any corner of the streets. The two sixteen years old boys were playing music in there – Sabo, now grown up, his face slowly changing into more mature one but still very boyish, covered with some acne spots on his chin and cheeks, something typical for this age, was hitting the drums, while his brother Ace, who like Sabo has grown so much in the past almost ten years, now taller, but with face a little bit more boyish than Sabo’s, attitude still the same but now a little bit under control, was playing the guitar.

“Hey, hey Ace.” Sabo yelled at his brother who continue playing some melody on his guitar. Hearing his yelling Ace stopped and focused his attention on him. “When is Law coming? Wasn’t he supposed to be here like an hour ago?”

Law was Ace’s classmate and best friend who also taught him how to play the guitar, which lead to them three playing together in the garage almost everyday now. Ace’s brows knitted as he looked at his watch, it was true, his friend was supposed to be here by now.

“Ye, I’ll text him.” Pulling the broken screen phone from his pocket, Ace started typing with one hand while with the other he was holding his guitar. “He said he is on his w-” He couldn’t finish his sentence as he saw his little brother Luffy running in full speed towards the house and storming in, while holding his left cheek like he was hurt. Looking over his shoulder at Sabo to make sure that he saw the same thing as him, the two brothers exchanged confused looks as Luffy aways comes to them first thing first when he comes back home from school or anywhere in general.

“Should we check?” They both said at the same time. With just a nod Ace removed the guitar from his shoulders and Sabo dropped the drumsticks and they ran inside the house.

“Luffy.” Ace screamed as they entered their shared room, but their little brother was no where to be seen.

“Maybe he is in the bathroom.” Sabo placed his hand on Ace’s shoulder and pointed with his head towards the end of the hallway. The two boys made their way to the bathroom door and heard the water running. “Hey, Luffy. Everything okay?” Knocking on the door, Sabo waited for his response, but nothing came.

“Luffy, come on. Say something, we know you are here.” Ace leaned on the wall next to the doorcase as he crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for his brother’s response.

“G-go away. Both of you.” A trembling voice yelled from the other side of the door. The two older brothers rolled back their shoulders and straighten their postures as they heard the voice filled with pain.

“Yo, yo Luffy. What the fuck is going on?” Ace raised his voice as he wasn’t the most patient person to exist. Sabo hit him on the chest with the back of his hand as his blue eyes shoot at his brother’s deep brown ones with a warning look telling him without words to calm down.

“Come on, Lu. Did you get beaten up at school again?” Sabo softly chuckled. Sometimes some of the older kids in his school bullied him in school, for which Sabo and Ace made fun of him from time to time, but they were also ready to back him up if he just said so. “Open the door, we won’t make fun of you.”

“Much.” Ace added with a smirk which caused Sabo to snort, but he was quick to compose himself.

“No, Luffy don’t listen to Ace.”

“Ye, Lu. I was messing with you.” Ace’s voice became a little softer now as he tried to assure his brother to come out and speak with them.

“Go away.” Luffy screamed again, but this time the sob that escaped his lips was heard by his brothers.

“Luffy, if you don’t open this door I will.” Ace warned him as his patience was wearing thin.

“And so, will I.” Sabo added.

One of the doors in the hallway opened and from it came out Dogara – still short and bald, he looked at the guys in disbelief.

“What are you three yelling about this time?” He screamed at the two boys who were ignoring him. “I’m talking to you two.” He screamed again as he walked closer to them.

“Shut up.” The two brothers, now so much taller than Dogara, screamed in unison causing the short man to flinch.

“I’m telling Dadan.” He murmured going back to his room determined to call their foster-mother.

“Luffy this is the last warning, open the door or we will.” This time it was Sabo who warned the youngest of them three.

“I’m fine. P-please, go away.” Tears were falling down from Luffy’s eyes mixing with the blood coming from under his left eye. The twelve years old kid was trying to find something to stich himself from the first aid kit they had in the bathroom, but luck wasn’t on his side so the only things left in the kit were some bandages and plasters, none of which would help ease the pain or stich the knife cut under his eye.

Luffy didn’t want his older brothers to see this, because he knew they would go and do something crazy and bad to the person who did this to him, especially Ace. Ace was always the one who jumped head first when it came to protecting his younger brothers, even if he was only a few months older than Sabo, Ace was considered by them as their big brother as he was always the one to jump and protect them no matter the situation or if they were in fact the one who did wrong, he was always there for them. He was always there for the people he loved and cared for, even if he wasn’t the best in expressing his love and affection with words, he aways made sure to prove it by actions.

The two brothers on the other side of the door exchange a quick look with a nodded and with one kick at the door, which has received many kicks since the three of them have been living in here, opened wide. Luffy immediately tried to hide his face, but it was too late. His older brothers’ eyes widen from the side. The whole sink was covered in blood and so was the towel which Luffy was pressing on his face.

“Luffy are you okay?” Sabo was first to come to his senses and immediately stood on his knees next to his younger brother. Taking the towel from his hands he removed it from his face to see what was causing so much bleeding, which cause him to slightly gag at the sight of the stab under his eyes.

“Luffy... who did this?” Ace’s voice was cold, almost emotionless. He was standing leaned on the door facing away from his brothers. The only thing they could see was his clenched jaw and fists. Luffy didn’t know to whom to response first – one was extremely worried, the other extremely furious.

“Answer Luffy!” Both screamed at the same time. Luffy bit on his trembling lower lip as he focused his eyes on Ace. Both of his brothers were way taller than him as puberty has hit them already two years ago which caused Luffy to feel even smaller as he was towered by them now, more specifically by Ace.

“Ace, please.” Luffy cried out. “It was an accident. They didn’t mean it to get this far.”

“Did it happen at school? Was it the older kids?” Sabo was quick to ask, as much as he was worried, he was also enraged as Ace, but still he had to keep his cool for now and think rationality because before they go and take care of whoever did this to their little brother, they must take care of the wound first.

Luffy’s eyes were moving between Ace and Sabo, not sure and scared of how they would react and what would come next. After all they had grown up in the worst aera of Grand Line city. They were ghetto boys, who didn’t grow up with much they grew up almost with nothing, but they always had each other. Their childhood wasn’t easy, but the moment they became brothers, life started to have some meaning, some colour. Life stopped being so lonely, especially for Ace.

“Ye, Lu. Come on, tell us.” Ace finally turned to his little brother and faced him, which scared Luffy because across his older brother’s face was placed a gentle smile. Ace never smiles like this. Ace has never been this calm out of nowhere. But Luffy was just a kid, and so were his brothers, but they have made a vow that Luffy will have a childhood unlike them. They have made a promise that no matter what Luffy wouldn’t bare the pain of loneliness or sadness the same way they did, and Ace had made a promise to himself that no matter what he would try to do the same for Sabo.

“I-It was... it wasn’t kids from m-my school.” Luffy hiccupped. “It... it... it was Teach... from your school Ace.”

Hearing this Ace just looked one last time at Luffy and then Sabo and before any of them had the time to react, Ace has run off to find Teach. He was two years older than Ace and since day one, he had tired to picked on Ace, but it was no successes as every time they would get in a fight, Marshall D Teach would get his ass beaten at the end. Ace and Sabo didn’t attend the same high school, because Ace was kicked out for bad behaviour from it and that was how he ended up in a different one, but thanks to this he had met Law.

Sabo screamed after Ace, and so did Luffy but it was pointless. Holding the bloody towel to Luffy’s face, Sabo grabbed his phone from his pocket and dialled his best friend Koala. He quickly explained to her that he needed her help and that she must take his little brother to the hospital as soon as possible. Koala told him that she would come with one of her father’s drivers to pick Luffy up and get him to the hospital, and with this the conversation ended.

“Okay, Luffy now listen to me.” He grabbed his little brother by the shoulders and made sure he focused on him. “Koala will be here soon, meanwhile you will keep pressing the towel to your face and wait for her on the porch.” Sabo held Luffy’s hand to his face where the wound was and made him press as blood continued to come out of it. “I must go after Ace before he does something crazy, so please come with me downstairs now and don’t come after me, wait for Koala, am I clear?” Sabo’s blue eyes were filled with worry for both of his brothers – one hurt and the other one crazy. “Luffy promise me that this time you will listen to me and do what I’ve told you.” He pleaded as he stood up and grabbed Luffy by his hand, running with him downstairs.

Sitting Luffy on the stairs at the front porch, Sabo was ready to run after Ace when Luffy grabbed his hand and stopped him.

“Is Ace going to be in a big trouble because of me?” His brown eyes were filled with worry and guilt.

“Luffy, you are not the one to blame, okay?” Sabo was fast to reassure his little brother that this wasn't his fault even if he still didn't know what cause the stabbing, he knew that picking on twelve years old in such way is unforgivable. Especially if the twelve years old happened to be his little brother. “Ace is doing what every big brother would do in this situation and so do I, we won’t get in trouble, I promise you.” He gave a small smile to his kid brother and ruffled his messy black hair before he ran off.

Ace knew where to find Teach, so he wasted no time running to one of the old outdoor basketball courts close to their neighbourhood. Teach could pick on him as much as he wanted, but not Luffy. Especially in such way, he could have taken his eye off or worst kill him, and for what? Only to angered Ace?

By the time Ace reached the court he was all covered in sweat. Seeing some of Teach’s friends there he yelled his name. The moment his friends heard Ace’s furious scream, they started to run but Ace was fast to catch one of them by the collar of his shirt.

“You better tell me where your piece of shit friend is or you gonna get all the beating for him.” Ace hissed in his face.

“He... he ran a-away s-somewhere m-man. W-we haven’t seen h-him since.” The guy’s voice trembled with fear, but Ace wasn’t buying it, so he just punched the guy’s stomach making him writhed in pain.

“Think again. Where is Teach?” Ace pushed the boy’s body on the ground and was ready to kick him when the guy put his hands out to stop Ace from colliding his foot with his stomach.

“I-I swear m-man. H-he ran off. H-he probably is ether at home or y-you know his uncles g-garage spot?” The guy waited for Ace’s response. Ace thought for a second before nodding, he knew where the place was. “H-he must be there, a-as y-you know h-his uncle i-is into s-shady things so he must have gone there to hide.”

Crouching next to the guy on the ground, Ace grabbed his hair in a fist and pulled it.

“Listen carefully now.” He started with a low warning tone. “If I go there, and he isn’t there as you’ve said, I’ll come back and you will need to pick up every single tooth you have off the ground, am I clear?”

“I swear, Ace he is either there or at home.” The guy cried out.

Ace let go of him and stood up. All he could see and hear was red. Marchall D Teach was going to pay for almost blinding his little brother. He could mess up with Ace as much as wanted but today he crossed all lines, and he was going to learn his lesson for that.

Despite his appearance, Ace was quite strong for his age. His skinny and tall body was durable to fights, but he could say that it was thanks to the fact that he grew up on the streets, after all the area where the brothers came from was know as the worst possible place to live in Grand Line.

Leaving the basketball court, he heard a well familiar voice calling out his name. Not turning back as he knew that Sabo would catch up to him, Ace continued walking. He felt Sabo’s hand on his shoulder as he held him back for a second, while he tried to catch his breath.

“Ace, wait.” Sabo said in between breaths. “We must come with a plan or something or even better just call the police.” He wanted and tried to reason his brother.

“The plan is we find him, I kill ‘im, and then we continue with our lives.” Ace jerked his shoulder from Sabo’s hand and continued walking.

“Ace be rational for just a second.” Sabo screamed at his brother as he pulled his blond locks. “I’m as mad as you are, but this will lead only to more problems.” Ace continued to ignore him, which only fuelled Sabo’s irritation with his own brother. “Listen to me when I talk to you, you bullhead.” Sabo stood in front of him and placed his hands on Ace’s chest to stop him from taking any step further. “Let’s call the police, for this he can even go to prison as he is of legal age.”

“He hurt Luffy.” Ace screamed in his brother’s face. “And he is going to pay for it. Now you either move away or I’m going to beat your ass as well.” He pushed Sabo away, hard enough to almost making him trip.

“I’m trying to safe your ass from making a big mistake.” Sabo screamed after Ace.

“I’m doing what is right.” Ace spatted without even turning to look at him, all he could wanted was a revenge. With a sigh, Sabo ran after him one more time. If Ace was going to get in trouble he wasn’t going to do it alone. He understood his brother’s reasons, and even if he didn’t agree with them and how he wanted to handle it, Sabo wasn’t going to let him do it alone, after all Luffy wasn’t only Ace’s little brother, he was his as well and as such they must revenge the harm that was caused upon Luffy. Mess with them, but not with their little brother.

“Are you sure he is here?” Sabo turned to Ace as they were now standing in front of the old garage where Teach’s uncle clamed to repair cars in it, but it was well known that this was a lie and he was hiding some shady business behind the whole ‘car repairing’ thing.  

“Should be.” Ace replied as he nodded his head towards the garage, indicating to Sabo to follow him.

“So again, you have any other plan than beating him?”

“Ye, beating him to death.”

“Your heart is too pure for this Ace.” Sabo knew his brother very well, no matter how much Ace wanted to be seen and perceived as the ‘bad boy’, the ‘nonchalant’, ‘not giving a single fuck’ guy he was neither of these things. His brother was too good for this world, but the world wasn’t so nice to him. Ace has carried the most of their family’s burden and Sabo didn’t want him to add another one to the list.

Ignoring Sabo’s words Ace was the first one to approach the big old garage which was wide opened and inside were some older men in their late forties. Teach’s uncle was the first one to notice the approaching boys.

 “Dadan’s boys, what brings me the privilege to be honoured by your visit?” The nasty smile on his fat and oily face bloomed on his lips as he eyed the two young boys. It was clear from where his nephew was coping the nasty manners.

“Where is Teach?” Ace wasted no time but getting to the point.

“I don’t know.” His uncle brazenly laughed causing the other three men to do the same. “Why you need him, Gol’s boy?” It was a well-known fact around this area whose Ace’s biological father was and how much he denied him as such.

“I’m Portgas.” The young boy corrected him as his dark brown eyes pierced the arrogant man’s ones.

“Ha, you heard that boys? The brat is Portgas.” His loud and nasty laughter filled up the space around as everyone started to laugh at the boy’s statement. “You know, your mother Rouge used to be one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen... it’s sad she died so young.” The man sarcastically clicked with his tongue.

This was the name you should never mention in front of Ace with such dishonour, especially if you were a nasty disgusting man like Teach’s uncle. Just before Ace could say anything, Sabo interrupted.

“We really need to speak with Teach.” He held on his brother’s shoulder and tried to keep his behaviour unsuspicious.

“I don’t know where he is blondie, probably home or somewhere out in the streets, I don’t care much where the brat goes, so now take your bastard brother and get the fuck out of my shop.” The man spatted at the brothers as he wasn’t a fan of their family nor them.

“Who are you calling bastard, you ugly pig.” Ace yelled at him, but Sabo was fast to hold on him and stop the fight that was about to erupt.

“Ace, come on.” Sabo called out his brother. “This sad fuck isn’t worth it, let’s go find Teach.” He literally needed to drag Ace out as the uncle continued to pour oil into the fire.

“Mention my mother’s name one more time and I will kill you.” Ace screamed after him only to be met with another round of brazenly laughter. Taking him into one of the alleys near by Sabo tired to calm his brother. “Let me go Sabo, I will kill this pig and his nephew as well.” Ace tried to fight his brother’s strong hold, but the blonde boy held him in one place with all his power.

“Ace, I understand your rage, but this sad low life isn’t worth it, now let’s go back to search for Teach, just calm down.” Sabo tried to reason him for a thousand time today.

Buring his fingers in his dark locks, Ace pulled his hair by the roots and screamed with frustration.

“Fine, fine.” He yelled in Sabo’s face. “Let me go before I lose it completely.” Sabo took a step back, while Ace tried to calm himself a bit. “I’m sure he is there.” Ace said after a few deep breaths.

“Should we wait a bit here?” Sabo had a similar feeling to Ace’s, the uncle had to knew at least that his nephew was hiding from them. Ace just nodded in response.

A few hours passed by and the sun started to settle, the twilight has taken over the sky and if it wasn’t for what had happened earlier today, maybe it would have caught the brothers’ attention and they would have admired it, but not today. Sabo had received a message from his friend Koala that she has taken care of Luffy and that the wound was stitched, and their little brother would be okay. Hearing the news about it, Ace only nodded not moving his eyes from the garage. He was a hundred percent sure that Teach was there hiding and won’t leave until it was dark.

And he wasn’t wrong. Soon Teach’s uncle left with his friends, but he didn’t close the garage, everything inside was still lit on and the door wasn’t closed. Which meant only one thing – there was someone inside.

“Let’s check out who is left in the garage.” Ace said to his brother and they both quietly and cautiously made their way to it.

Walking inside they started to look around carefully. They reached the end of it when they heard some bucket falling at the entrance. Turning their heads towards the direction where the sound came from, they saw the person who they were looking for trying to escape.

“Oh, you are dead.” Ace murmured to himself and started running after Teach, closely followed by his brother.

Both boys were in advantage catching up Teach as his clumsy and fat body couldn’t outrun the two brothers. Caging him in the same alley they waited until now, Teach had nowhere to run as it was a dead end one.

“Care to explain why my little brother came with a stab wound under his eye today?” With slow steady steps Ace was getting closer and closer to Teach’s trembling from fear body. He was aware that today he fucked up a lot by stabbing the kid, but it was an accident, he just wanted to scare him off, but the brat moved while he had him on a chokehold and in his attempted to calm him down, he accidently pressed the knife in his face too hard. He shouldn’t have even held up a knife to a twelve years old but he did it for the jokes of it and now he is about to pay the price for it.

“Now, now Ace it was just for the joke of it.” He said with a chuckle which only fuelled Ace’s anger.

“For the joke? You could have killed him!” Sabo yelled at him as he got face to face with him and grabbed him by his white shirt collar. “You fucking pig.” He screamed in his face and punched it.

Ace was fast to get in between his brother and Teach as he didn’t want him to get in trouble and this was something that was between him and the low life who was now on the ground.

“Let me punch him one more time Ace.” It was funny and strange who fast their rolls change as now it was Ace who tried to calm Sabo not the other way around.

“Fuck you, Sabo.” Teach spatted as he tried to stand up, but he has no luck as Ace was fast to kick him in the face. Blood started to run from Teach’s mouth as Ace’s foot collied with his chin. Without wasting time, the two brothers jumped on him. They knew that it wasn’t a fair fight, two against one, but Teach wasn’t playing fair as well earlier as he pulled a knife on a child and now he was going to pay.

Sabo was the first one to pull away, while Ace was lost, he couldn’t see or hear anything, all he could think about was his little brother’s face covered in blood, and for what – for a joke? Well, here was the joke now, the biggest joke of them all laying under him almost unconscious. Coming to his senses Sabo tried to pull Ace away.

“Ace. Ace, come on this is enough.” He yelled at his brother as he tried to pull him away. Teach’s whole face was covered in blood and swollen from the brothers’ fists as he was choking on his own blood. With all his power Sabo pulled Ace away from Teach’s body but the moment Ace was back on his feet he decided to do one more thing before they leave. With all his power Ace stepped on Teach’s right knee which cause it to break. An agonizing scream left Teach’s mouth as his whole body twitched from pain. Sabo’s eyes widen from the scene in front of him. “What the fuck Ace?” Sabo screamed at his brother as he jerked Ace by the hand to look at him. “Ace what the fuck man? You know how much trouble we will get in for this now?” But Sabo’s screams were worthless as his brother didn’t care and as of right now, he couldn’t think straight.

Without saying anything Ace just pulled his arm away from Sabo’s and started walking away. Not knowing what to do and now scared for Teach’s life, Sabo called an ambulance for him, only giving Teach’s location and lying that he found him on the street by chance. After he made sure that the asshole was going to get help and not die, he ran after Ace.

“Ace you idiot. Now we are going to be in a big trouble.” Sabo pushed his brother on the back once he caught up with him, making Ace almost trip. Turning to him Ace pushed Sabo back.

“I will get in trouble, okay. You will be fine.” Ace said as he turned once again and continued making his way home.

“Did you really need to go that far?” Sabo asked, his heartbeat increased as he tried to calm himself down, but it was pointless, they were going to be sent to juvenilefor this.

“Luffy is going to have a scar on his face for the rest of his life, it was only fair for me to give this fat fuck one as well.” Ace responded calmly as in his mind this was a fair exchange.

“Ace we can get sued for this or worst send to juvenile.”

“I can get sued or sent to juvenile not you, so calm the fuck down before I smash your face, too.” Ace’s tone was stern and warning, he would take all the blame for it if Teach decided to speak to the police. “Also, we don’t know if he will speak to the police.” He shrugged.

“He will, Ace. He will and then we will be in trouble.”

“For fuck’s sake, how many times I need to say that I’ll take the blame and you and your perfect record will be fine.” Ace turned around and screamed in Sabo’s face.

“That is the problem, why you should take all the blame?” Sabo screamed back.

“Because I’m the shitty one of all of us three, okay? So, if one of us must go down it would be me, not you, not Luffy – it will be me.” Ace was screaming on top of his lungs with anger and frustration as this was something his brother would never get. Ace was the cursed one, not they. His whole face has gotten redden from all the screaming and frustration build up in him and Sabo was only adding more fuel to it.

“Why Ace? Why?” Sabo’s voice broke mid sentence. It has always pained him how his brother viewed himself as some monster as some low life who didn’t deserve to be alive in a first place let alone to deserve good things in life. “Why it has to be always you taking the blame for us?” He didn’t receive any answer to his question.

“Let’s just go home.” Was all that Ace said.

Entering the house and stepping into the hallway they heard voices filling up the living room and Luffy’s voice calling their names. Looking down on their bloody knuckles both guys made their way upstairs to clean their hands. It took some time for the blood to wash away but it did eventually. Sabo was the first one to go downstairs while Ace closed the door behind him and locked himself in the bathroom. He set his palms down on the sink with his head hanged low. There was still some blood from earlier on the floor and all of this for what... a joke?

The realisation of what had happened today and what Ace has done hit him like a truck. Taking deep breaths and trying to calm himself down he started to curse under his breath. He was going to be in serious trouble, one where he wasn’t sure how he would be able to come out of.

“Good for nothing as aways.” He murmured to himself before he left the bathroom.

Walking into the living room Ace was faced with everyone – Dogara and Magra sitting together on one of the old armchairs they had which was quite big and on the couch were siting Dadan, Luffy and Koala, Sabo’s best friend and big crush, which he hasn’t confessed yet. Seeing Ace, Luffy jumped from the couch and ran to him, locking his arms around him in a hug.

“Are you better now, Lu?” Ace softly asked his brother as he ruffled his hair. Looking at Sabo and then to Dadan, Ace could tell that she already knew what they have done, and his gut was telling him that she didn’t know from Sabo, she knew from somewhere else. Getting up from the couch Dadan nodded with her head for him and Sabo to follow her in the kitchen to speak in private. Pulling away from Luffy, Ace promised him that he would be back in a second but first he must speak with their foster mother for a second, so he sent his little brother back to Koala on the couch.

Walking into the kitchen where Dadan and Sabo were already, Ace stood next to his blonde brother. Dadan’s eyes were in a tin line as she had crossed her arms across her chest, in her eyes could be read a lot of emotions – from anger, to sadness, to disappointment.

“You two realise what you have done, right?” She finally spoke up. “Why didn’t you call me immediately or the police?” None of the boys said anything at first. “Answer me!” She screamed at them.

“Because what he did needed to be revenged.” Ace hissed at her, his eyes filled with anger once again. “And don’t scream at Sabo, it was all my fa-” What happened next has never happened before in this house. Dadan was many things, but she has never raised her hand to her children, until today. The smack across Ace’s cheek echoed in the kitchen as his head even turned to the side from the impact of her hand.

“You foolish boy. You never listen, you never think before you do something.” Her voice was filled with anger and pain. Her eyes, something that none of the brothers have seen before were filled with tears. “You really are your father’s son. Aways searching for fights and problems, you took nothing from her, nothing. My sister died for nothing. You killed her for nothing.” These words cut like a knife Ace’s heart. Looking up at Dadan and meeting her eyes, same colour as his mother’s made him swallow hard the words he heard and the pain they caused him. “You wanna know how your mother died exactly? She died screaming and begging the doctors to save you over her and till this day I swear that was her biggest mistake.” Tears stared to run down on her tired face as she spoke the words with bitterness and pain over the memory of her dead sister. Ace took a step back as he realised how much he had messed up today and how much this would affect their so-called family.

“Dadan, stop talking to him like this!” Sabo couldn’t stand and listen to such nonsense. He could see that their foster mother was pissed, and she was right that they had fucked up badly, but Ace didn’t deserve this treatment, after all it wasn’t only him who fucked up.

“Shut up Sabo!” She screamed without even looking at him. “Having that piece of shit’s uncle calling me and telling me that we will be sued for money we don’t have because you two decided to beat the shit out of his nephew was my final straw with you, and especially you Ace.” She pointed her finger at him, her whole hand trembling from the frustration. “Why couldn’t you call the police? It was going to be his nephew to be taken away not mine good for nothing one. But no, you had to play it bad boy don’t you, brat?” She yelled once again in his face, but Ace didn’t say a word.

His eyes were fixed on the floor, mind clouded with thoughts. ‘She died for nothing. You killed her for nothing.’ The words were on repeat like a broken tape recorder. He didn’t kill his mom, he would never. He didn’t even ask to be born, why it was his fault that two people sixteen years ago decided to make a child together and it just happened to be him.

“Look at me and listen carefully when I’m talking to you, Ace!” Dadan grabbed his shoulders and shook him. With a clenched jaw and redden eyes Ace locked his focus on hers. “The moment the police come, you will go out now and turn yourself in and you won’t mentioned that Sabo was there with you, am I clear?” She took a step closer to him and Ace only nodded. Hearing this Sabo tried to fight Dadan over it, but she called for Dogora and Magra to take Sabo away as she wanted to be left alone with only Ace. Sabo’s attempts to fight Magra, who was extremely strong, were pointless as he easily lifted the boy and took him upstairs, locking him in his room.  Once they were left alone Dadan turned to Ace again. “Why Ace? Tell me, why are you the way you are?” Instead of answering Ace just asked her a very simple question.

“Why you hate me so much?” His voice was quiet. Ace was tired. He was tired of screaming, tired of fighting. He just wanted to know, why the only blood related person he knew and had in his life hated him so much.

“I don’t hate you Ace.” Dadan took a step back as she turned around walking to the dining table and pulling one of the chairs to sit on it. She placed her elbow on the table and started massaging her temple with her fingers. “I don’t hate you, but you are so hard to love. I pity the woman who will end up with you one day. Poor girl, with a man like you she will probably end up the same way my sister did, six feet under the ground.” She looked at the boy standing in front of her in the middle of the kitchen and her heart broke. She knew she has failed to raise him properly and mostly it was her fault, but blood couldn’t turn into water – at the end of the day he had one of the most wanted criminals’ blood running in his veins, the kid was doomed from the start. Looking at Ace all she could see was Roger, even if he has taken after his mother’s beauty and freckle skin, there was only range and madness in his soul, something that Rouge never possessed, this was all Roger or she wanted to believe that it was all him as she never really got to meet or know him. Her sister aways kept her away from her personal life, but still Dadan loved her regardless. “If you ever fall in love Ace, make sure she doesn’t fall in love with you, too. Try to push her away or something, as much as it pains me to say this... your father’s blood line must end up with you. Whoever ends up with you will suffer.”

Since that night these words never left his mind, they were tattooed, engraved in his brain. What Dadan has said to him was cruel and she regrated it the moment she saw her nephew being taken away by the police. This child who has full of love and life, and she could see it that he had so much of it in himself but never learned how to express it because Dadan herself never showed him how to, would now forever lock himself from the outside world. Because of that night and those words Ace sat his mind on one thing – he would never fall in love and if he did, he would do anything in his power to make the girl who would steal his heart hate him, hate him so much that she would never want to be near him or even hear his name would make her feel disgust. Maybe after all he was meant to be lonely in this world. Because who would love a cursed boy like him?

Seeing (Y/N) jumping out of the car the moment he stopped it in front of her building made his heart ache. He didn’t want to hurt her, let alone make her cry. It took him all his willpower to not run after her and just wrap her in his arms and kiss her. But he couldn’t do this. The moment she put her hand on the back of his neck and ran her fingers in his messy locks while Big Jet Plaine was playing on the background felt like he was hit with thousands of kilowatts of electricity. It was like the Earth stopped spinning and that he was levitating for a moment – all of this by a simple touch by her. And because of it the words which his aunt has told him almost ten years ago echoed in his mind “Whoever ends up with you will suffer and end up like you mom, six feet under.” Ace didn’t want her to suffer because of him, but he couldn’t bring himself to explain to her why they were better of like friends, even if this was becoming such a cliche.

Speeding through the empty streets at this late hour of the night it didn’t take him long to get back to his place. Ace was mad. Mad at himself and the world, but not at (Y/N). Walking to his apartment and locking the door behind himself he threw the keys on the side not even paying attention that they dropped on the floor. Kicking his shoes on the side he made his way to the living room and sat down on the couch. Inhaling and exhaling deep he laid down and looked at the ceiling. His mind was running wild once again. He messed up big time with her this tonight like never before. He made her cry which pained him the most of it all.

“Fuck.” He cursed under his nose as he ran his hands through his hair and pulled it. “How you’re fixing this now deep shit?” Hitting his jawline with his fist Ace cursed once again. He wasn’t sure if he should even try to fix it. She has a date tomorrow, maybe it was for the best that tonight turned out this way.

After all what could Ace offer her? Love? He has never experienced it himself, he didn’t even grow up loved so how could he love another person if he was never taught how it worked. But this wasn’t love, this has to be just lust and nothing else. He couldn’t be in love with her, she couldn’t be in love with him. It has to be a mutual lust, he was aware of how much she wanted to be kissed by him tonight and not only tonight, but he couldn’t allow this. There was this part of him that was afraid that if he crossed this line with her there wouldn’t be a turning back from then on. Trying to gather his thoughts he got up and went to his desk. Before he sat down, he opened one of the big windows in the room to get some cold air in, hoping that it would make him cool off a bit. Pulling his pack of cigarettes out he lit up one and dragged a long smoke from it.

It was like she had engraved herself in his mind as of recently she was always in his thoughts. And it was always the small details about her – they way she would scrunch her nose before she disagrees with something, the way she bit on her lower lip all the time or when she played with her fingers every time, she was nervous. The way that she was always shy the first few minutes when he was around her, only to relax after a few and act like they have been knowing each other for a lifetime when in fact it has been what – three, almost four months now. But the thing that was amusing him the most was the fact that she happened to understand and get him all the time, sometimes even without words, it was like she could see past his bullshits but chose to ignore it instead. But why? Did she feel something more than lust towards him?

This thought made Ace’s blood run cold. She couldn’t. She shouldn’t. She could do so much better than him, after all he was good for nothing, and she... she was everything. She had this uniqueness, this mixture of a pure heart and beautiful mind, there was something way to innocent about her that Ace was afraid if he touched it, he might destroy it. That was why he was calling her – doll, because she was perfect in any sense – perfectly craft from the outside and so beautiful from the inside. There was even a moment where Ace was afraid of developing some Madonna Whore complex for her, but with the unholy thoughts he had in mind and all of them involving her, this fear was out of the window as fast as it came.

Finishing his cigarette and putting it out in the ashtray he had on the desk, he knew that he needed something stronger than cigarettes right now. Going into the kitchen and opening one of the top drawers he picked a bottle of whiskey which was half empty. He usually didn’t have hard alcohol at home, but this one was from the last time when Luffy and Zoro had come over to play games and drink booze. Grabbing the bottle he didn’t bother with taking a glass and drank straight from it. Going back to the living room and taking a sit on the chair in front of his desk he put the bottle to the side.

He needed to cool off, to distract himself but even now, with a pen in hand and a note in front of him all he could think about was her. His eyes were reddened, but not from sadness, it was because of fatigue and despair. Massaging his temple with the tips of his finger, he reached with his left hand for the bottle again. The bitter taste of the alcohol burning down his throat, but he didn’t mind it. Putting it down, he started writing on the note.

I've been callin' you "friend," I might need to give it up

He really needed to give it up. He must give up on whatever it was between him and her before its too late. The ache in his heart came back and his whole face grimaced with pain.

“Fool... how could you let yourself fall...” He whispered to himself as he buried his head on his forearms, his body hunched over the desk. Ace didn’t want to fall in love. No, he mustn’t fall in love. ‘If you ever fall in love Ace, make sure she doesn’t fall in love with you, too.’ These words by his aunt had become very vivid in his memory in the past few weeks, and especially now.

Now I need your help with everything that I do I don't want to lie, I've been relying on you

He couldn’t allow himself to tell her how he felt, but he could always write her a song, or two, or hundred. Ace didn’t want to admit it to himself until now, but she had become his muse, his medicine in a way, but that was where he would draw the line.

Waking up today felt like the hardest task someone could possibly make me done. I was exhausted. From the moment I left the car till probably three or four in the morning I couldn’t stop crying. Lifting my head from the pillow, I sighed when I saw that the whole pillowcase was stained with makeup.

“I doubt this will come off.” I whispered to myself.

Reaching for my phone on the nightstand to see what time it was I saw I had some messages. None of them were from him. They were all from Dave and one from Shanks. I didn’t even manage to unlock my phone when it died as I didn’t put it to charge last night. Sitting up in the bed I looked for my charger and when I saw it, I plugged the phone and let it charge.

My whole body felt tired, no I felt tired, even thought I slept for almost ten hours. Getting up from the bed I slowly made my way to the bathroom. Seeing the state of my face in the reflection of the mirror wasn’t a big surprise for me – puffy eyes and face covered in smudged makeup and hair all over the place. A tired sighed once again left my lips. Taking off whatever was left of the makeup, brushing my teeth and cleaning my face didn’t took away the puffiness and so I decided to take a quick shower.

Stripping down from the clothes I still had on from last night I got into the shower. My body was trembling, and I wasn’t sure if it was because I was an emotional mess or because today was surprisingly cold in my apartment. Adjusting the water and making it almost boiling hot I tried to relax my body. Closing my eyes and letting the water run down my body I wrapped my arms around myself. Everything from last night played vividly in my mind, from the moment he picked me up to the moment he dropped me off. I bit on my lips as I felt a new wave of tears falling from my closed eyes as I tried to stop the sob which was threatening to leave my lips. Why was he doing this to me? Was this some kind of a sick mind play? One second, he was all nice and carrying, and the next he switched to a cold uncaring person, and it was like this every time, and I had enough of this. Opening my eyes I took a deep breath in and decided to focus on something else and try my best to think of everything else but him.

Getting out of the shower and changing into more comfortable clothes I laid in my bed again. Seeing that my phone had charged a bit I unplugged it and checked all the messages I had. The one from Shanks was him asking me if I want to take some shifts at the beginning of the year to which I responded with yes and it also hit me that New Years is in two days. Then I moved to the messages from Dave. The last one of the many he had sent was ‘If you don’t want to go let me know :)’.

I felt so bad. Dave was such a nice person, especially to me, and he didn’t deserve such behaviour from me, for which I typed a quick message: ‘Sorry for the late response, I wasn’t feeling good yesterday, so I felt asleep super early and just woke up. Ofc, we are up for it. Send me the address and what time I should be there ^^’. Even though I wanted to spend the whole day buried in my bed away from everyone and everything, I had made a promise and I was going to keep it.

He responded almost immediately, and we agreed on meeting at six pm as the screening starts at seven. I couldn’t stop myself but thinking of last night and what certain someone told me – ‘Go on the date. Give the guy a chance.’ and maybe I should do this, but this wouldn’t be fair for Dave. Unlike the person who had engraved himself in my mind and hear, I could not lead someone on, not someone who I actually consider a friend and mostly someone I cared for.

Dave greeted me with a hug as aways and I tried my best to fake my smile, not because I didn’t want to see him, but because my mind was elsewhere. Seeing Dave didn’t bring any type of excitement in me even thought I wish it did. He was a very good-looking guy, and he was so nice on top of it, he was the full package, but the spark wasn’t there. But as the guy who had not just caused a spark in my heart but had caused fires in it said – give the guy a chance, so I was determined that tonight I would try to look at Dave in a different light, even if it would be the hardest thing to do due to the fact that certain someone shattered my heart not even twenty-four hours ago, despite this I would try.

“How have you been? You look tired.” Dave said as we pulled away from the hug.

“Oh, yes. I’m just pretty tired, I’m helping my uncle with his bar and yes long shift.” I took a deep breath in and then out as I chuckled. “How are you? Haven’t seen you in a long time.”

“Good, spending most of my time with family and friends.” He replied with a big smile on his face. “Um, should we get inside? We can grab something to drink before the movie starts.” He pointed with his thumb towards the cinema entrance, and I nodded. Lifting his arm slightly to me I got the hint and wrapped mine with his and we made our way inside.

We grabbed some drinks and snacks as and sat in the cinema bar chitchatting about everything and anything. It was very easy to be relaxed and calm around Dave, he was a pure sunshine, but he had to call me out all the time because I just kept zooming out.

“Dave, I’m so sorry, I promise you I listen.” I apologetically smiled at him.

“It’s okay, it’s not like I can be mad at you.” He said and his fingers gently brushed mine. But there was nothing - no sparkle, no electricity, no excitement.

“Of course you can.” I protested. “I have been a very bad friend to you in the past few weeks and yet you are always so nice to me.” I meant every word that I said and knowing that he had feelings, and I didn’t was killing me from the inside. I couldn’t fake something that wasn’t there in a first place. I couldn’t fake a feeling.

“Um, yes actually there is something I want to speak with you about or well more like something I have to tell you.” He gave me one of his charming smiles as his tawney skin got a slightly heated. Running a hand through his curls he was struggling with finding the right words. Panic took over me as I knew what was coming and I wasn’t ready for it and because of it I interrupted him.

“My God, look at the time, we should go. I love watching the trailers before the movie starts.” I jumped from the chair and grabbed the popcorns Dave bought. He was a little surprised by my sudden outburst but laughed it off and followed me with the rest of the things. I had three hours to gather my mind and find the best way to tell Dave that out feelings weren’t mutual, and I was praying to whatever power was out there that he was just having crush on me which hasn’t developed into something more and deep, because I didn’t want to shatter his heart the same way mine was.

“Sh, it’s okay.” Dave had his arms wrapped around me as we were still siting in our seats ten minutes after the movie finished as I was crying my eyes out. I was always a crying mess after watching ‘Interstellar’ but today was probably the hardest I have cried on this movie, but it was clear to me that the reason to cry this much wasn’t only the film. Lifting my head from his chest he cupped my face and wiped my tears away. “Come on let’s get going before they kick us out.” He laughed and I agreed with him.

It was dark and even colder outside than when we came. Dave was holding me close to him as he noticed how I was trembling from the cold.

“Please, you declined my offer to pick you up at least let me drive you back home.”

“Are you sure? You live five minutes away and I live like thirty.” I didn’t want him to waste him time with dropping me off and then getting back home. “I can get the metro.”

“No, please (Y/N), I insist.” He squeezed my shoulders like he was silently begging me to let him drive me home.

“You won’t take ‘no’ as an answer, will you?” I chuckled and he shook his head, making us both laughed in unison. Playfully rolling my eyes I nodded with my head and made him lead the way to his car.

On the way to my place, we were talking for the movie mostly but then we switched to more personal subjects like I never knew that he had a little sister and a big brother, for which I joked with him that as a middle child it did explain why he took on becoming a filmmaker and we laughed about it. Then I told him a bit about my family, and this made me realise that until now, all we have ever talked about was movies or school things which were again related to films and filmmaking. We never got to know each other on a personal level until now. Which made me sad in a way that maybe if I have had the opportunity to get to know him before I met a certain dark raven-haired man, maybe just then these feelings Dave had for me would have been mutual.

“Dave.” I said his name and took a deep breath. He was stopping the car in front of my building, and I wanted to speak up first, because in my mind it was better if I tell him that I see him as a friend only before he tells me whatever he has in mind.

“Please, before you say anything I need to tell you something.” He took my hand in his and ran his thumb over my knuckles.

“Dave, no.” I pulled my hand back and cursed myself as I knew what was coming. “Look, I... I didn’t know that you view this as a date until... until last night honestly.” I was struggling to find the right words after I saw how his whole face and mood changed. “And I didn’t want to believe what I have been told that you have crush on me, and I do hope that it’s only a crush because I swear Dave you are the last person I want to hurt.” My voice cracked at the end from seeing the way sadness took over his features. “I... I just don’t see you in this way Dave and I’m so, so sorry. If I leaded you on somehow, I’m... I’m sorry Dave, but it wasn’t on purpose, I swear.” Tears started falling from my face again. I wasn’t sure if it was because of how guilty I was feeling to not share the same feelings as his or because I knew how much it hurt to be rejected by someone you like.

Dave took a deep breath in and turned to look at me. He gave me a small smile that didn’t reach the corner of his eyes at all. Then he reached with his hand and wiped away my tears.

“I understand.” He quietly said as he took away his hand from my cheek. “It’s partly my fault, I could see it that your mind was, and I suppose is still somewhere else and... well...” He clicked with his tongue as the bitterness of the rejection was filling his heart and mind. Silence took over as neither of use dared to say something or move. “With risk to overstep my boundaries with you... is there something I could do to change your mind?”

I tilted my head on the side a bit confused by his question, but before I could response he reached with his hand once again and pulled my head closer to him. His lips gently crashed on mine... but there was nothing - no sparkle, no electricity, no excitement. My skin didn’t get any goosebumps, my heart wasn’t set on fire, my mind was somewhere else... my mind was on somebody else. I tried to return the kiss, but it was pointless, and Dave felt it too. Breaking the kiss, he just gently caressed my cheek and then let go of it.

“You didn’t feel anything, did you?” His voice was quiet, and I could sense the pain behind it.

“I’m sorry, Dave.” I whispered.

“And so am I.” He whispered back and then cleared his throat. “But hey, cheer up. I still want to be your friend, and I will be if you want me to.” He gave me a sincere smile one that reached the corner of his eyes as usual.

“Oh, Dave.” I said as I wrapped my arms around him in a very tight hug. “I want to and I love having you around, but I know how much it would hurt you and I don’t want this for you.” My head was buried in the crook of his neck. “I don’t want to see you hurt.”

The past two days have exhausted me so much emotionally – first Ace, then Dave. It was like my life has turned into some soap opera, the kind of series I hated the most and on top of it I was the main character. At the same time there was something ironic and comedic in the whole situation – while I was rejected by a certain someone in a very unspoken way, I kind of did the same thing to somebody else, for which I guess was my own karma.

Since I woke up in the morning today my head was killing me as I haven’t stopped crying. Everything in the past two days was too much for me to take. The worst part was that I was left in the dark. Since last night so many questions have arisen in me – did Ace really didn’t feel anything for me? Did he only saw me as a friend? And if he did – why the pet names? Why the small gestures? Why have we had so many intimate moments which all of them almost ended with a kiss? I might be very bad with getting hints, but I doubt that ‘regular’ friends or even ‘best’ friends have had such shared moments.

The questions were too many and yet the answers couldn’t be found. I was mad at him. I was hurt by him. I wanted to confront him so bad, yet knowing myself, I knew that I would crack the moment I face his deep brown eyes that I have fallen in love with. I knew that the moment I see him again and he calls me doll or whatever he comes up with, no matter how much pain and distress he has caused me I would be willing to forgive him. Which led me in this situation in a first place. He had turned himself into a soft spot for me which led to all of this happening, because he knew, he was fully aware that I was ready to forgive him easily the moment he sweettalked me again. But not this time.

“Fuck.” I cursed. This wasn’t the first time I have had promised myself this, I was like a broken record, repeating the same thing and then do the exact same thing over and over again. I was like a broken record. “Fucking Ace.” I cried into my pillow.

As I was lost in thoughts my phone vibrates, indicating that I have received a message. I grabbed the phone and saw that it was a message from Luffy - ‘Wanna go for a walk later?’. That took me by surprise. I haven’t seen him since the beginning of the month when we went to the club together. But it didn’t matter, I wasn’t in a mood to go out today at all. I needed a day by myself – isolated from anyone and anything. I quickly responded to him that I wasn’t feeling very well so we should leave it for some other day, but he wasn’t having it. He started spamming me with messages until I agreed, but I told him that it would be after seven pm as I didn’t want to go out now while it was still some sunlight outside. ‘YES, see u around 8pm then – I’ll wait for u outside ur place :D’ was the last message he sent me.

It was almost eight pm when I got up from bed and dressed myself in some leggings and a hoodie, I didn’t bother putting a makeup or fixing my hair, even though I looked like a mess with puffy eyes and dark cercles under them, after all we were going to just take a walk in the park near by. I put my jacket and boots on and went out as I received a message from Luffy that he was downstairs.

“Wow, you look like shit.” Was the first thing he said to me when he saw me exciting the building. “No, sorry (Y/N), I meant it like – are you okay?” He came closer to me and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in a tight hug. I swallowed hard before I replied that I was fine.

“Come on you blew my phone off to go for a walk, let’s get going.” I tried to fake a smile when we pulled apart.

We slowly made our way to the park. Luffy was babbling for anything and everything and I tried to focus on the conversation, but it was very hard. My mind was nowhere and everywhere at the same time. I wanted to be present here and now, but it was an impossible task.

The park was almost empty as it was quite chill outside, the only passing by people were the one who had their dogs out for a walk or the one who were doing their evening jogging. Despite that it was dark already and something in the night air felt super heavy. I wasn’t sure if it was from the headache I had from all the crying in the past few days, but it felt like I had a bad lucid dream. Everything was like in a slow mode and my mind was just not present.

“(Y/N), hey (Y/N).” Luffy waved with his hand in front of my face. I shook my head as I realised, he had been calling my name and looked at him.

“I’m sorry Luffy. What were you saying?”

“Wanna sit for a moment. You don’t look good, have you eaten today?” He nodded with his head towards one of the benches in the park and wrapped his arm around my shoulder leading me there to sit.

“Yes, I did.” I lied. “I’m fine Luffy, just tired that is all.” I gave him a small sincere smile as we sat down on the bench. Luffy took a deep breath in and exhaled as he propped his elbows on his legs and looked at me from over his shoulder.

“You are not fine, you don’t need to lie to me.” He looked me in the eyes and shook his head. “And I’m sure this has something to do with my brother.”

“Wha-... why are you... like no, it has nothing to do with your brother.” I tried to brush it off, but Luffy just clicked with his tongue.

“I might be not as bright or smart like them and I know that I’m usually super goofy and even childish at times, but I’m not stupid, (Y/N).” He winked at me as he straitened his posture and chuckled. “Ace made me check up on you.” My eyes shoot wide open when he said this.

“What?” I wasn’t sure that I heard him right.

“Ace texted me today to check up on you but didn’t give me any explanation why for but judging by the state you are right now...” Luffy took a deep breath before continuing. “Look, I know that something is obviously going on between you two and knowing my brother... he is fucking it up big time.” He took my cold hand in his and gave it a squeeze. “But he does care about you a lot, otherwise he wouldn’t have made me check up on you.” Hearing this I couldn’t help but laughed out loud.

“If he cared so much about me, he would have come himself not sent you.” I could feel the tears treating to fall from my eyes again.

“I guess you are right, but Ace... well, Ace is Ace, and he does care believe it or not, but I know my brother and h-” I didn’t let Luffy finish his sentence as I interrupted.

“Luffy.” I took a deep breath before I continue because I was on the verge of a break down. “You know your brother as your brother and not as... as... God I can’t even find the words to describe what your brother is to me.” I pulled my hand from Luffy’s and buried my fingers in my hair pulling it a bit as I was losing my mind.

 “(Y/N) please calm down.” Luffy’s deep brown eyes so similar to the ones I fell in love with and filled up with worry. “God, I shouldn’t have told you this at all. Ace is going to kill me.”

“Oh, so I wasn’t supposed to know that he sent you?” I snorted out a bitter laugher. This whole situation was getting ridiculous. Before Luffy had the chance to answer I got up from the bench and started walking fast towards the metro station. Luffy immediately got up and followed me, calling me to stop.

“Please (Y/N) wait.” Luffy caught up to me and made me stop by grabbing my arm. “Calm down first and where are you going? Your place is in the other direction.” He gave me a confused look.

“To your brother’s place.” I replied and jerked my arm from his as I started walking fast again.

“You don’t even know if he is home or not.” Luffy screamed after me which made me turned around and look at him.

“Is you brother home Luffy?” My patience was wearing thin.

“I actually don’t know.” He wasn’t lying I could see that he didn’t.

“Well then I plan to find this out.”

I'm sick, and I'm tired too I can admit, I am not fireproof

Ace was hunched over his desk with his head propped on his palms. The headache he has had in the past two day was killing him, but he didn’t plan to do anything to fix it. The floor around him was covered with crumpled or torn apart paper. He couldn’t get her out of his mind, not like she has left it ever since they cross paths for a first time but in the two past days it was different.

Fallin' again I need a pick-me-up

His last two days were like hell – all he did was stay at home and smoke away his brain. His bandmates had blown his phone with messages and calls, but he only bothered to text Deuce back and let him know that he wasn’t going to rehearse with them this week. Which caused another wave of messages from mostly his brother Sabo, but Ace just ignored him. Still, he had opened the message app so many times as he has typed so many messages to only one person, just to delete them before pressing send. Ace knew that he fucked up badly with her and he was torn apart between trying to fix things or just let it be. His mind was telling him to just let go and not bother her ever again, but his heart... his heart wanted nothing else but her.

Guilty was eating him alive. What was he thinking when he took her out? Why did he take her out in a first place? Even though he didn’t want to admit it to himself, Ace did it because he was jealous. Hearing that this guy, David or Dave whatever his name was, was planning to take her out and confess his feelings for her struck a never in him, that was why he acted spontaneously the moment he saw his friend Yamato’s story on Instagram. Which now he realised it was a big mistake. He shouldn’t have done this. Ace didn’t think it through back then but by any means that “hang out” two nights ago was a date by all definitions. And now he was suffering and made her suffer the consequences of his jealousy and indecision. Indecision because he couldn’t let himself have her but also the thought of another guy having her was killing him. How was he supposed to let her go and move on with his life when she had him on such chokehold?

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Ace cursed loudly as he hit his jawline with his fist. Hitting himself wasn’t enough of a punishment for making her cry, for hurting her.

Earlier today he had texted his younger brother to check on her as he couldn’t bring himself to do so. He was aware that she was mad and probably hurt by him, but he wanted at least to know if she was okay and taking care of herself, but he was also curious – did she go to the date with that guy? And if she did, did she enjoy it? Did she enjoy it more than any of the times she had spent with Ace? All these questions were circulating in his mind, and he hoped that Luffy won’t fuck it up and get them out of her, but he wasn’t aware of the date so the only thing Ace would find out was if she was still sad or not.

I feel it burning me, I feel it burning you I hope I don't murder me, I hope I don't burden you

Luffy had texted him an hour ago that he was waiting for her outside her apartment building to go for a walk and apparently it took him a long time to convince her in a first place to even go out.

“You better not fuck this up Luffy.” Ace murmured as he knew how bad his brother was with keeping his mouth shut sometimes but he was his only option right now. For a first time ever in his life Ace felt like a coward. He didn’t have the courage to face (Y/N), because what was he going to tell her – “hey I’m kind of in love with you, but also can’t be with you for your own good, so we still can be friends, right?” Friend? Even he couldn’t buy this lie anymore. They were never friends to begin with, but calling each other such was the only option, which now was out of the window.

It has started to rain outside and the streets were dark and foggy. Ace was standing next to the window as he was smoking probably his fifteenth cigarette if the day. The cold air coming from outside was blazing his skin as he had only a pair of grey sweatpants hanged on his hips. The circles under his eyes were dark, even as a person with narcolepsy he had barely slept these days. He was impatiently waiting for a text from his brother to know how their walk went and most importantly how was (Y/N). Closing his eyes shut he leaned his head on his arm which was propped on the window as he took one last drag of his cigarette before he threw it out. Just as he threw the cigarette his phone buzzed, it was a message from Luffy – ‘Don’t kill me, but I fucked up…’

Swim with me I think I can see the beach I know what's underneath I need you here with me but we're out in the open

Ace was about to throw his phone angrily across the room when he heard his doorbell ring followed with a loud bang on it and froze on the spot. This better not be who he thought it might be. Another determined knock and ring followed which made him shake his head and head to the door. Opening the door he didn’t have time to react or say anything as he was met with a slap across his face. ‘I deserve this.’ He thought to himself as he could recognise the softness of these fingers without even looking at the person in front of him.

“You fucking asshole.” You yelled in his face. He was standing by the door with his head a bit to the side as you have slapped it. Slapping him across the face was something you didn’t want to do but the moment he stood up in front of you just couldn’t control yourself. He just opened the door wilder and pulled you in before closing it. Then he finally dared to look at you.

There you were. Standing in front of him, soaking wet from the rain with your hair messed up from it and eyes red and puffy. Your whole body was trembling from the cold, but also from all the emotions bubbling inside of you. You looked like a mess.

“What are you doing here, doll?” His voice was quite and very raspy as he hasn’t spoken in days, in fact he hasn’t, the only words that have left his lips was when he was cursing himself out.

“Don’t you dare calling me this ever again.” Your voice was full of rage and pain, and it hurt him to hear it like this. It was always like a sweet melody to listen to it, but now hearing you for a first time ever like this, it made his heart aches mostly because he was the reason why you were in such state. Instead of saying something Ace just turned his back at you and walked away as he couldn’t bring himself to face you. “Don’t walk away you coward.” You called after him as you followed not even bothering to take your boots off as you entered his living room.

If I meet you in the middle, maybe we could agree You make me feel little how you're looking at me

He was a coward and you had all the rights to call him such. Standing in the middle of the living room with his back facing you he couldn’t bring himself to turn around, not when you were looking at him like this. You had never looked at him with so much rage and mostly disappointment. But he deserved it.

“Look at me, Ace.” You said to him as he was just adding to your rage when he was refusing to face at you. “Stop ignoring me and look at me when I’m talking to you.” Your heart was tearing apart, even now when you were standing in front of him, you had to beg for his attention which was only adding to his disrespect towards you. You grabbed his hand trying to make him turn around only for him to yanked it away from you. “You will not make a joke out of me again.”

Feeling your fingers on the bare skin on his hand made his whole-body burn, but hearing your words was like a stab in his heart which made him turn around immediately and finally face you.

His eyes were as tired as yours. Now when he was finally facing you, you were able to take better look at him. You have never seen Ace in such state, he looked defeated and lost at the same time, there was no trace left of the usual cocky playfully and confident man you knew, this… this wasn’t the Ace you were used to see and this caught you by surprise.

If I told you that I loved you Tell me, what would you say?

“I have never ever made a joke out of you nor disrespected you, doll.” A little spark of anger crossed his eyes as he slowly said this with a very stern tone. How could you say this? How could you even think of such thing? Him disrespecting you? Making fun out if you? He would never do such thing to you, not you of all people.

“Oh, you have never done such thing?” You laughed in his face as you took a step back as you needed some space from him to breathe. “You, of all people, have done the biggest fool out of me by your actions Ace.” Your voice was raised loudly again. “Sending your brother to check up on me? Are you fucking kidding me? And, and you- ” you pointed out your finger at him. “You dared to send him, to check on me because you are so, so worried about me that you don’t fucking bother to be man enough and do it yourself?” You have never screamed at a person before, but there was aways a first time.

Ace was just standing in front of you. You were right, he wasn’t a man enough to check up on you and not only this he wasn’t a man enough to even tell you why he couldn’t. He wasn’t man enough to just say fuck it and grab you in his arms and tell you to calm down and just kiss your pain away. Maybe after all he wasn’t as grown up as he thought he was. Maybe after all he was still a lost child who had no idea how to deal with love, let alone how to show or voice it. Instead, he just stood there frozen if front of you while his mind and heart were going crazy. His heart was screaming, no it was begging him to just pour out itself to you, yet his mind was telling him that the best thing he should do was to break whatever you two had between each other and move on. But how could he do this? Which was the right thing to do?

“Say something you fucking coward.” You cried out. Tears started running down your cheeks. You couldn’t hold them anymore, it was too much and with him just standing there not saying anything, felt like someone was burning you alive.

Hearing your cry, Ace finally looked you in the eyes. It took all his willpower to not reached with his hand to wipe away the tears falling from your them. The tears that he caused. Because he knew that if he did this, he would break his act, and he couldn’t afford to do this. Swallowing hard he finally opened his mouth to speak.

“Look, doll I-”

“Don’t call me that.” You hissed at him.

“(Y/N).” He took a breath in as he ran his hands through his hair. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m fucking sorry if I made you feel this way, but do-” Ace stopped himself as he was about to call you ‘doll’ again. But that was the thing – you were his doll, because in his eyes there were no flaws in you just like porcelain dolls, which were so perfectly crafted, yet one rough touch and they might break, for which he was afraid that he would break you if he dared to bare his soul and heart for you because his hands weren’t clean and he wouldn’t dare to destroy something so perfect as you, so he must admire you from afar. “(Y/N), I’m sorry if I messed up our friendship and mostly if I made you feel this was, but I swear, I would never ever even think of doing such thing to you.”

“What friendship, Ace?” You bitterly chuckled. “Were we ever truly friends?”

He didn’t know how to respond to this question – no, he didn’t want to respond to this question, not that he didn’t know the answer to it.

“I don’t have any other ‘friend’ or should I specify a male friend that calls me ‘doll’ or even ‘baby’ from time to time. I don’t have friends who takes me out for…” You were afraid to say it out loud, but you had nothing to lose anymore tonight, you were determined - tonight was the night where all cards from your side were coming to the table. “Fuck this I’m calling it what it was, this ‘hang out’ two nights ago was a fucking date, wasn’t it?”

The moment you called it a date he looked away. It was hard enough for him when he had to admit it to himself but admitting it to you was something he wasn’t ready to do. He didn’t do dates, he didn’t go to dates until you. Actually, he haven’t done even one bit of the things he had done for you for another girl ever, but he wasn’t going to admit this to you.

“Fucking coward, you can’t even admit this.” You laughed through tears as you clicked with your tongue. “I’m done pretending, Ace.” Lifting your hands in the air and dropping them down defeatedly you took a deep breath before continuing. “I don’t want to be your friend anymore… no, I… I can’t be your friend. God, I never wanted to be your friend, but I tried to, I swear I tried but… but…” Tears were blurring your vision as you knew that from what you were about to say there was no coming back. “The only reason why I can’t be your friend is not because I don’t want to, but because I’m in love with you.”

If I told you that I hated you Would you go away?

These words cut though his heart like a knife. Usually when you hear that the person who you also happened to have feelings for shares them you were supposed to be happy, to be on cloud nine, weren’t you? But Ace wasn’t like most people, he was he and this alone was his biggest punishment. With what he said next, he knew that not only your, but his heart would break as well.

“Look, doll.” He started not daring to look at you. Ace had his eyes locked on the wall where the big sideboard with pictures. “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong signals or made you think that there would be something more happening between us, but…” He could feel his heart breaking, he didn’t mean any of these words, but he had decided – he was going to listen to his mind and not his heart, which meant only one thing – breaking yours. “But it’s not mutual, okay?”

Tears had stopped falling from your face as you were carefully listening and observing him. His jawline was clenched and so were his fists, his whole body was tensed and you could see and clearly hear that he was struggling with his words, and most importantly… he didn’t dare to look at you while saying this.

“Then why have you done so many gestures towards me? Hell Ace, let’s not act like we haven’t almost kissed so many times.” You were going to dig deep into this. Tonight you were going to get your answers.

“Have you seen yourself, doll?” Ace chuckled sarcastically, shaking his head in disbelief as he heard your question. “I’m a guy and you are an extremely attractive girl, of course I want to fuck you, are you crazy?” He laughed out loud as he tried to hide the pain behind his words. It wasn’t like they weren’t true, but he would have never said it in such vulgar way if he didn’t try to push you away.

“You could have done it many times.” You answered with bitterness as you have never heard him speak so vulgarly with you about you, but you were honest with him. If all he ever wanted from you was a quick fuck he could have done it already and move on with his life not play friends with you.

“Could’ve, should’ve but I never did, thanks Luffy and his friends as if you haven’t been their friend I would have used you already and forget about you.” He turned away from you when he said this. He didn’t mean it and he wanted to kill himself for saying this to you. But he had to let you go.

“Use me?” You whispered in disbelief. This couldn’t be, he couldn’t have done such thing – no, the Ace that you knew wouldn’t dare to say such thing to you, he might have been an asshole, but this… this was crossing all the lines. “Is that why you were calling me doll all the time? Because you saw me as nothing more but a girl with whom you can play your twisted mind games?” You didn’t get any response as he was still facing away from you. “I don’t buy this bullshit, Ace.” Taking a few steps towards him you moved to stand in front of him and didn’t let him face you away. He was lying. He must be lying. “Say it to my face.” You were looking at him, eyes focused on his, yet for a thousand time tonight he refused to meet them.

He couldn’t bring himself to do such thing. It was hard enough to say it without looking at you, but to look at you and say such words, he could never. He just hoped that you would break up any second now and leave his place and him for good.

“I don’t believe you, Ace.” You repeated yourself. “I don’t believe that all you wanted from me was a quick fuck, especially when you had the opportunity many times.” Placing your right hand on his face you had to use a little bit of a force to make him look at you, but he finally did. You were so close to each other once again. His deep brown eyes were pierced in yours and in that moment an idea and the courage to say it out loud came to you. “Let’s make a deal, shall we?” You asked, eyes not moving from his. He didn’t reply as he was waiting for you to voice your ‘deal’. “Kiss me.” Was all you said which made him push away your hand and take a step back as he looked at you as you were out of your mind.

“What the fuck? Didn’t you just hear what I’ve told you?” He couldn’t believe that you really asked him this, off all things, everything else but this.

“Yes, I did.” You took a step closer to him again.

“Why should I kiss you? Where is the deal in this?” A puff of air left his lips in a makeshift laughter. Where were you going with this?

Rolling your shoulders back and straightening you posture you swallowed hard before you speak up again.

“It’s super simple.” You said. “You kiss me and if you feel nothing, not even the slightest but of a spark then… then I’m gone and we pretend that this has never happened… that this whole ‘friendship’ or whatever it is, was, has never happened and.. and…” You bit on your lips hard as you needed a moment before you could finish your sentence. “And we become strangers.” Saying this you looked away from him as you were afraid of what was to happen next.

Both of you stood frozen in the middle of his living room. None of you dared to move or looked at the other. Ace couldn’t bring himself to kiss you as he knew if he just tasted your lips once he wouldn’t be able to stop and he would be craving more and more of you. He licked his lower lip as he glanced at you – you looked so broken and defeated, and he was the one who had done this to you. His heart ached like never before. He had never felt such pain, but there was a first time for everything. A deep sigh left his lips as he shook his head.

“Just go home, we are done here.”

“No, Ace we are no d-”

“Yes, we are done. I don’t want you, okay. This shit is not mutual get it your pretty head.” He was grateful that you didn’t dare to look at him when he screamed at you as you had your head facing the floor. Ace didn’t want to startle nor scream at you, but he had no choice, because he could feel it in himself that if you stood a minute longer here he would break and not only kiss you but just take you in his arms and carry you to his bedroom and show you how much you mean to him.

He had never yelled or acted like this towards you which took you by surprise. It wasn’t like you weren’t aware that Ace had a dark side, but he had never showed it to you. Maybe you didn’t know him that well after all and maybe you were wrong – he might not be lying after all. Maybe he did not feel anything towards you and all you were to him was exactly a doll – something he was having fun with whenever he felt like it.

“Now fucking leave (Y/N).”

Hearing your name leaving his lips meant that he didn’t need to tell you twice. With a trembling lip and eyes full of tears once again you ran away. You opened and closed the front door of his apartment, but the loud sob that threatened to leave your lips escaped before you were able to close the door behind you. You called for the elevator and thankfully it took a few seconds to come. You couldn’t believe it. That was it. That was going to be the last time you and Ace see each other, because after tonight you couldn’t bring yourself to see him ever again. If two nights ago he shattered your heart, then tonight he just ripped it out of your chest and broke it into a million peace. Entering the elevator, you leaned on the wall of it and pressed the palm of your hand to your lips as the moment the door closed another agonised sob had left your lips.

You ran pass him without looking at him, but he did look at you and he could feel his breath leaving his lungs from the sight of your pained face. The sob that left your lips a second before you shut the front door close didn’t slip his ears. Ace could feel his own heart breaking from the pain he had caused you. This was for best. You were going to hate him now but be thankful later in life that he didn’t let you fall further. Right?

But if he was so sure that he had made the right decision then why did he found himself running down the stairs trying to make it in time to the first floor before the elevator hits it. Why did he run out of his apartment so fast and was running down the staris, skipping more than one step at times only to make sure to reach you in time. If he was so sure that he had made the right decision not even a minute ago, why was he standing in front of the elevator’s door waiting for them to open in less than a second from now?

Swim with me I think I can see the beach Just don't look underneath us I need you here with me but we're out in the open

The elevator’s door open and your breath got caught up in your lungs. What was he doing here? Didn’t he hurt you enough? Both of his hands were propped on each side of the elevator as he was trying to catch up his breath, his chest raising and falling fast with each breath while his head was hanged low. The elevator door started to close but Ace put his hand and stopped it and finally looked at you.

It was like his body was working against his will and mind, like his heart has taken control over it and he couldn’t control himself anymore. Before you could say anything as you part your lips with a questionable look written all over your face, he cut the distance between you two and you were in his arms. Pinning you against the elevator’s mirrored wall with his whole body pressed on your, he had one hand on your waist and the other one on the back of your head. You didn’t have a time to react or protest when his lips crashed into yours. At first you were frozen on the spot, shocked from this sudden turn of events, but your hands quickly found their way to his dark messy locks and you buried your fingers in them. His lips felt soft and warm on yours making you melt under his touch. The kiss was burning with passion, the way his lips had captured yours, so aggressively and desperate, yet softly and needy. With your lips parted slightly it allowed his tongue to slip inside causing a little gasp to escape them. He pulled you even closer to his body as if it was possible to get any closer than this and deepened the kiss.

He couldn’t stop. Your lips were like a drug, and he just tasted them for a first time, yet he was already addicted. All his sense everything in him screamed and begged him to pull away from you, even his lungs as they were out of air, but he couldn’t. It was so wrong, yet so right. You in his arms with your lips pressed together while your tongues were met in a burning desire of bottled-up feelings. He could taste the salty taste of your tears on your lips caused by him. You were too good for him, and he didn’t deserve you.

‘Whoever ends up with you will be cursed.’ His aunt words echoed in his mind again. This alone made him pull away and break the kiss apart. Ace opend his eyes and found you with your eyes still closed as you were left breathless with your now puffy lips. He didn’t want to let go of you. Not now, not ever. Not when he has finally done what he was dreaming of doing since that day you two had met. With one hand holding you still steady and close to him on the back of your waist like if you decide to run away, he would not let you go, he moved the one from the back of your neck to your cheek caressing it gently. The skin of your face was so soft and even in your worst state you were still flawless and breathtaking for him. He ran his thumb over your lips – tracing the shape of them and feeling the softness of them, making sure that he would remember it good as the moment you opened your eyes, he let go of you and took a step back.

“A deal is a deal.” He said as he leaned with his hands on the mirror caging you between him and the wall, but his eyes weren’t on you. Ace was looking at himself as he could speak with hatred only at himself. Swallowing hard he spoke up again. “I felt nothing, doll.” His voice was quite and raspy.

He might have not been looking at you, but you were looking at him. Why was he doing this to you? To himself? To you both? You weren’t stupid and he was obviously lying. Because his body and face didn’t match his words. He was in pain, and you could read it all over him, you didn’t need to look in his eyes to know this. But what gave away was the way he kissed you. You didn’t kiss someone with such passion, such need and desire if you didn’t feel anything for them – and Ace kissed you with all this and more. His kiss was burning with desire, not lust – desire. So why was he lying? Why was he hurting you both?

“Liar.”

END NOTE: Damn... what a roller coaster of feelings, hu? I hope you don't hate me much ♡ But this scene and this turn of events have been in my mind for a long, long time so you must understand I had to make it this way, but now as you have read about Ace's past I'm sure that you understand why he is and acts the way he does, because all he needs and wants is love, yet he is been told all his life that he isn't worthy of it... ALSO I GOT MY ELEVATOR, which I just added one sentence in chapter 5 where it says that it was out of service that first time Reader went to his place. Anyway I really do hope that despite the pain these two went through in this chapter you enjoyed reading it and as aways feel free to like, comment, reblog and message me regardless what you thought of it ♡ Thank you for reading my works once again ♡

writing, format & dividers © eand47 fanart @a_phu14 on IG ©eand47, do not copy or plagiarise my work.

[16woodsequ]

When I was in middle school/high school I had a Transformer OC who was a Mary Sue, though I didn't know or care about the term.

She was an Autobot Seeker, which is very rare in the lore. She had a brother who she lost during the war. She grew up with the Autobots, but at one point was captured by the Decepticons. For Plot Reasons she was kept alive as a prisoner for years, slowly going mad because she couldn't fly and was periodically tortured.

Eventually everything is moved to Earth, and she is still on the Decepticon ship. Even they don't exactly have a reason to keep her alive, but it's been so long that they don't bother changing it. Her spirit has been broken, and she has a shock collar if I remember correctly, and the Decepticons have recoloured her to look like a Decepticon (I think to demoralize her). She barely speaks, and does her best to lay low.

At some point, Optimus and Arcee are captured by the Decepticons. They are put in a cell next to her. It's been years since she's seen an Autobot, and even longer since she dared thing of escape. But with Optimus and Arcee there she has a burst of desperate hope.

She manages to break both herself and them out, and they jump out of the ship with her kind of controlling their fall with her thrusters. They're heavy though, and eventually they crash in a rain forest. They're not able to contact the Autobots and must start walking.

Arcee is distrustful of her because she looks like a Decepticon, though Optimus is more forgiving. The Seeker is reluctant to speak to tell them who she is due to the shock collar and long history of torture that has worn her down.

But, at one point, Arcee overhears her singing (Seekers have a culture of singing in my stories) and recognises the songs as those sung by her long-lost friend. That is how they figure out who she is, and what has happened to her.

They are shocked at what was done to her and all she has survived, and rush to bring her home and heal her.

There was also something about her having been 'blessed by Primus' and having a power she didn't know she had to help end the war, but I can't remember the specifics of that XD

Anyway, she suffered a lot, but was very brave and eventually rescued, which is kind of my thing when it comes to OCs and characters I like.

I actually can't remember her name anymore, though I probably have it written down somewhere. I used to keep a notebook with me to write down good idea for Transformer names.

Hey Writeblr,

I have a very specific request.

Will you tell me about your old OCs? I'm talking like middle school/high school edgy OCs. The ones who make you cringe when you remember them, because they're so awful. The Mary-Sue's, the self-inserts. The ones you would never ever ever resurrect because oh my gods they're irredeemable. The over-powered ones. The dark-haired boys with crooked smiles and ocean orbs. The girls who are so not like those other girls.

I'd like to hear about them please! I desire to know them!

[saraaisfree]

Hi, I seen your thinking of writing 🙂 and I wanted to send in a suggestion. A friend's to lovers troupe could be cute and he doesn't admit his feelings for the reader bc they are in a relationship but when the reader goes through a breakup, he comes over and comforts them and they end up talking where he confesses his feelings. Just an idea, feel free to write whatever! Can't wait to read it 🤍❤️💙

𝖸𝗈𝗎’𝗋𝖾 𝗆𝗒 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽 𝖨’𝗅𝗅 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 || Kwon Ji-Yong/G-Dragon

Summary: After a bad break-up your bestfriend comes over to help you feel better. While emotions are high confessions are made.

(thank you for this suggestion i hope you will enjoy this)

G-Dragon, or as you've always known him, Kwon Ji-Yong, has been your best friend for as long as you can remember. From sharing lunches in kindergarten to late nights helping him write lyrics for his songs, the two of you have been inseparable. Even after his group hit it big, he never left you behind, always trying his best to be there for you no matter what happened.

It was a simple night alone in your apartment. You were waiting for Ji-Yong to finish his dance rehearsal, as you had a movie night planned together. While preparing something to eat, your phone pinged with a message:

“Hey Y/N, I don’t think this is working between us anymore, and quite frankly, I don’t want it to. Also, I found someone else.”

The text came as a shock. You and your boyfriend had been dating for almost a year, and everything seemed to be going so well. You were even considering moving in together soon.

Slowly, you made your way to the couch and began crying softly. Picking up your phone, you texted Ji-Yong: “I think we should cancel tonight. I’m not feeling very well, and I don’t want you to get sick.” It was obviously a lie—you just wanted to be alone.

“Hey, that’s never been a problem before. Did something happen?”

You read his reply but chose not to respond.

Half an hour later, your doorbell rang. Curious, you went to see who it was. There he stood—your best friend—with two takeout bags in his hands and a sad smile on his face.

“Can I please come in? You’ve never canceled on me just because you’re sick. I’m worried about you.”

You knew you couldn’t say no to him, so you let him in. After setting the bags on the table, he joined you on the couch.

“Tell me what happened, Y/N. Please,” he urged.

You didn’t respond verbally; instead, you showed him the text message. He read it a few times, his face darkening. Without saying a word, he wrapped you in his arms.

“He was a dickhead anyway,” he said, a slight edge of anger in his voice. “He didn’t deserve you at all.”

Ji-Yong had always known he liked you—no, he loved you. But by the time he felt ready to say anything, you had already grown too comfortable with him, and he was terrified of ruining your friendship.

He never liked your boyfriends, no matter how much he tried to seem supportive. The idea of another man hugging you, kissing you, waking up next to you—it tore him apart. He wanted to tell you how he felt, to shout it to the world, but he held himself back, afraid.

“I’m really disappointed, but not surprised,” you said softly. “He always said things like that when he was mad, but this? This seems final. I guess you’re right, Ji.” You leaned into him, cuddling closer.

Hearing you call him “Ji” made his heart race. The way it fell from your lips felt like a drug. He wanted to hear it every single day.

“You know I’m here for you, right? Always.”

“I know. Thank you.”

As you finally settled down and drifted off to sleep, Ji-Yong kissed your forehead and fell asleep beside you.

The next morning, you stirred awake in his arms. He pulled you back instinctively. “No, don’t leave yet,” he mumbled, still half asleep, before realizing what he’d said. “Oh, um, I’m sorry about that.”

You smiled. The two of you had cuddled a lot as kids, but as teenagers, it became a rare occurrence. It felt nice to be in his arms again.

“Y/N,” he began hesitantly, “I need to tell you something, and it’s really important. I… I really like you. I always have. If the feeling isn’t mutual, we can pretend I never said anything, but I can’t sit around watching you get hurt by guys who don’t deserve you. It kills me to see you like this. I just… I want a chance to treat you right, to show you that love doesn’t have to be this hard—”

You interrupted him by pressing your lips to his, then resting your forehead against his. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited for you to say that” you whispered.

Without hesitation, he pulled you into a passionate kiss, his tongue exploring yours with a hunger he’d suppressed for years.

“I love you so much, L/N Y/N. I always have.”

“I love you too, Kwon Ji-Yong,” you replied.

———————————————————————-

Yooo! First ever fic!! I hope you all like it!!

[melanated-writersblock]

Friends to lovers because THE STREETS NEED DAT!!!!😫 (me. I need dat. Expeditiously.) All Fluff! Blk Fem!Reader🫶🏾

Neighbor!Mingi who moved in next door to you over a year ago, and your first impression of him being him knocking on your door to introduce himself, SURE, but also to shazam the song you had playing on your TV.

Neighbor!Mingi who you got close to quick cause he’s just a cool guy. Weird? sure. A loser? Oh, absolutely. And you know what? Hell yeah.

Neighbor!Mingi who will enter your apartment through your fire escape window because “It makes life more exciting.” So whenever you host movie night you keep the window cracked so he doesn’t have to knock.

Neighbor!Mingi who will probably sleep through his alarms, so you wake him up so he’s not late for the subway to work (he misses it, you gotta drive him🥴).

Neighbor!Mingi who goes grocery shopping for HIS apartment but likes to cook in YOUR kitchen???? Then take the cooked food back to his apartment????? He shares and does the dishes, but damn?!?!??

Neighbor!Mingi who you force to watch all seasons of “Girlfriends”, “Living Single”, & “A Different World” with you, which wasn’t really forced cause he locks in on the drama quick. “The pizza guy is he-” “Wait! Wait! Dwayne is gonna crash Whitley’s wedding!”

Neighbor!Mingi who’ll rush over to kill a bug for you in an instant, BUT! He won’t leave unless you pay him in food or snacks. Every fucking time.

Neighbor!Mingi who keeps your company on wash day and will purposely take all day doing an intricate skincare routine out of solidarity.

Neighbor!Mingi who will hang out on your shared fire escape with burgers on Valentine’s Day because you both went on dates and they were terrible so now you have to debrief each other on your respective horror stories.

Neighbor!Mingi who buys two of everything so you can have one for your place as well.

Neighbor!Mingi who you invite to run errands with you because it got to a point where him just showing up at your window every now and again wasn’t enough.

Neighbor!Mingi who got drunk with you one night and got teary eyed hearing you sing your heart out to “Love and War” by Tamar Braxton.

Neighbor!Mingi who saw movers at your apartment and got sad that you were moving, so he wrote you a letter and left it on your fire escape window sill….

on a windy night….so it blew away…...🤦🏾‍♀️

Neighbor!Mingi who you actively watched attempt to pull off the sneaky letter delivery, and fail miserably in real time, but you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him that night so you just wait until you see him again.

Neighbor!Mingi who is relieved once you explain that the movers were at your place because you’re getting in a whole new living room set and needed to remove your old one…but embarrassed after you admit seeing the whole mail thing go down.

Neighbor!Mingi who thinks “Fuck it, if not now then when?” and confesses to you. And you smile and laugh because FINALLY. You thought YOU were gonna have to do a cryptic confession and that probably would’ve been worse or 3x more embarrassing.😭

Neighbor!Mingi who, now, doesn’t need a valid reason to just show up at your apartment. And neither do you!

Neighbor!Mingi who rubbed off on you BAD so now you enter his place through the fire escape window at 6am on Saturday mornings to finish sleeping in while hogging 75% of the blankets, and there’s nothing he can do about it💁🏾‍♀️.

Neighbor!Mingi who’ll try to repair or diy things around your place so you don’t have to pay to have it fixed (but he lowkey sucks so you end up having to get it fixed regardless, BUT he pays for it because girlfriend privileges🫶🏾✨)

Neighbor!Mingi that invites his and your friends over for game nights only to jokingly send them home when you’re both getting collectively smoked. Yes, he still preps food and snacks in your kitchen just to bring it next door.

Neighbor!Mingi who leaves little remnants of his at your place. An extra toothbrush here, a sweater and a pair of shoes there. Also has a silk pillowcase on the bed for you at his place.

Neighbor!Mingi who you kinda don’t want to be your neighbor anymore.

Neighbor!Mingi that you propose should become Roommate!Mingi once his lease is up at the end of the year, and he kisses you before you can even finish the suggestion.

Neighbor!Mingi that just so happens to be an amazing boyfriend and will be one hell of a roomie!❣️

⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹ Hope you liked it! Lemme know your thoughts🫶🏾 ⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹

⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹.Masterlist.⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹

⋆˙⟡♡₊˚⊹.Blacktiny Writers Hub.⊹˚₊♡⟡˙⋆

[teriri-sayes]

Reactions to The Worst's Chapter 397

Brief summary: Eden is finally born.

==========

I think I know now why this chapter was delayed for so long. The author must have wanted Eden's birth to coincide with the Lunar New Year! Though it's the Year of the Snake now and not the Year of the Dragon which was last year.

Cale's DA fooled everyone into thinking it was the egg who had the aura of a ruler. 😂 Gashan's crows and Mary's skeletons "bowing down" and "kneeling" was also funny. 😂 Then there was HD parting the red clouds, and Eruhaben sending down a platinum lightning towards the egg, and which turned to platinum dust before it reached the ground. The special effects crew worked hard today! 😂😂😂

Cale and Raon approached the egg while invisible, thinking that there should at least be someone to embrace Eden when he was born. 🥰 And when Eden was born amidst a blinding light, Cale reaching out to him and feeling a front paw was so 🥰🥰🥰.

Then Cale raised Eden up high as the two stared at each other. Eden could finally talk, so he thanked Cale and said he liked his name. 🥰🥰🥰

Cale and Eden stared at each other. And Cale was startled. Because I saw dark brown eyes just like my own. A black body like Raon. But the golden patterns on its body reminded me of the Milky Way. And two small purple horns sprouted out.

Eden having the same eye color as Cale!!! 🥰🥰🥰And then there was this scene:

[The legend "The Birth of the Holy Evil, the Light Dragon" is recorded in New World!] Huh? Cale paused. What kind of dragon? "Light" Dragon? Are you talking about a dragon of light? But, "light" dragon… Something about this feels a bit off? You're not going to be crazy, right? Yeah, there's no way Eden Miru would do that.

For context, the word 광 (gwang) in Korean could mean "light" or "crazy". So Cale was wondering if Eden was a "Light Dragon" or a "Crazy Dragon." 😂😂😂

Oh yeah, Eden was cute. Even Cale acknowledged that.

Cale looked up. A dragon small enough to fit in two hands. Eden Miru was quite- uh, well- -Human, Eden Miru is so cute! As expected of the youngest! Uh… he's over 900 years old, but still cute. Seriously, he was born so cute that even Cale would recognize it. Though Eden Miru himself didn't seem to have noticed it yet.

Cale thought it was over now that the subquest was completed, but for some reason, it was not over???

“Fufu-” Clopeh Sekka made sure all the footage was in the storage and immediately began working on the second part. “Spread this out into the world.” New World, Earth 3. Spread it everywhere. Cale was so busy watching the cheers that he didn't realize the quest window fluctuated. [Birth Ceremony progress 307%] [Birth Ceremony progress 308%] [Birth Ceremony Progress 309%] The progress continued to climb. Cale still hadn't realized Clopeh Sekka's true intentions.

Ah... Clopeh discovered social media. 🤣🤣🤣 What kind of craziness was he up to now? Then again, it's the Year of the Snake now, so it's Clopeh's year.

Ending Remarks So many moving scenes today. 🥰 Next chapter would probably be Sheritt's reaction to Eden's birth.

🎊Happy Lunar New Year everyone! 🎉

[spacegyaru]

cw: michael kaiser x afab! reader. all characters are aged 21+! (in this case, they're both 23) + pls don't read this if u haven't seen the first and second part. huge angst and confrontation. make up sex in the end so minors, dni! also, i tried my best to make it in character. i personally believe that kaiser is a cocky asshole except if the person he interacts with is someone who knows him from the past, or someone he's attached to in the past. so yep, i tried making him in character! 

part 1 / part 2 / this is pt. 3!

also here's my masterlist if you wanna see more 😉

word count: 1.7k+ words

three years after separation, you meet again in unexpected circumstances. but is it too late?

it's been three years since that time you forgot about michael kaiser. you were so hurt by what happened. it's as if he just left you in the air.

because of that, you just focused on your career and in working at the bakery. eventually, you've finished the culinary program that you were taking and was able to focus fully on your family business. apparently, you had to take over because both your parents are considering retirement. so you've worked on your way to the top. 

to you, kaiser became nothing but a painful memory. you thought he would protect you, but he was the first one to break your heart that way. anyway, you got over it and eventually accepted what happened. as what people say ‘it is what it is’. 

your bakery got bigger. aside from offering bread and pastries as menu, you also started serving other delicacies like meat, chicken, and etc. you made it really big and out of the slums when you decided to level things up by adding other recipes on the menu. 

you were able to invest a lot on yourself. you brought your family out of the slums and were able to help build a house for your parents in the rural area, as what they wanted for their retirement. you were also able to buy a car, your own house (out of the slums), and the small bakery that you owned no longer sits at the downtown slum area, but it is now located in the bustling streets of berlin.

as business continued to succeed, you decided to explore the world of catering. and boi, everyone loved it! you were striving as a successful person in the business industry. until eventually, a big offer landed on you.

you were asked to cater a huge ball for german celebrities. feeling great about the deal, you immediately accepted it.

tbh, you got a lot going on that you forgot about kaiser. from time to time, you would see him on tv, and you would think of the good old times. it would make you sad how things ended between the both of you, but then again, you’ve moved on. your heart hurts sometimes, but it's okay. things happen. 

so the day came. you were at the big event, in a huge venue. your staff worked in the kitchen while you were fixing everything— from decorations, to the food preparation, and to serving the food. you were kind struck in awe as you saw loads of people around. 

the night was normal. that was until you were serving some red wine to the guests and eventually, you bumped on someone. your eyes widened and apologized immediately.

“...y/n?” when you heard that, you stopped apologizing. your eyes widened as you saw him— michael kaiser.

you did not say anything. you stood up and stared at him for seconds before awkwardly leaving him alone. you formally apologized for the suit and left. you acted like a total stranger to him. and it made him a little bit confused. 

you tried so hard to avoid kaiser the whole night. you thought you already moved on but when you saw him, you felt your world crumbled. you remember the pain of losing someone important to you, and the pain of losing a best friend. the guy who ruined the whole concept of having a first love for you. 

after the event, one of the organizers called you and told you that one of the biggest investors for the event wanted to thank you personally and is waiting in his private suite. you didn't think about it that much so you followed along. 

and that investor is… of course, it's michael kaiser. when you saw him, you sighed and attempted to walk away, but he held your wrist as if he didn't want to let you go. 

when kaiser hugged you, you just stood there, feeling his touch. he back hugged you when you were trying to leave. your hand was still on the door knob, and your urge to leave was still there. but you seem to be so weak when it comes to his touch. 

“y/n, i've missed you…” kaiser said while hugging you. you just clicked your tongue and freed yourself from his hug. you gave him a look filled with irritation.

you reminded kaiser that he was the one who left. your voice was filled with bitterness while you said it. 

his brows furrowed and sighed while he said, “i know i did hurt you but please, just give me a chance? come on, we could make it work this time.”

you wanted to be harsh on him, but you also longed for him to the point that you still stood there and gave him a chance to explain. 

and he did. kaiser said that he would be guilty if you guys actually got together and he didn't give your relationship enough time. “liebling, i was so busy that time and i was so afraid of the fact i'll hurt you if i'll always be away. you have to forgive me. it's been lonely without you…” 

you looked at him for a moment before starting to embrace him. and he did hugged you back as if he will never let go. you didn't know what to expect when he eventually planted a kiss on your lips. 

kaiser’s kiss still felt the same. it gives you butterflies in the stomach. your heart felt warm as he held your hips. you started kissing back, but you pulled away. 

you looked at him with widened eyes as you realized what you did. you gave in to him again. after staring at him for seconds, you ran away out of the room. you swear you're gonna check the guestlist before accepting a big offer like that. 

days later, you were at your own restaurant, managing things on your own. you were about to head inside after throwing the trash, when someone suddenly dragged you. the man seem to wear a suspicious disguise. you were about to scream when he took off his face mask. of course, who? it's kaiser. michael kaiser. why is he so persistent in winning you back?

after few minutes, you found yourself inside his car. at the front seat. his car was parked in an empty alley. both of you didn't talk, until you broke the silence. you sighed before speaking. 

you asked him to explain the reason why he left. and then he did try to explain himself. his football career took a toll on him and he just knew that he would never have the time for you.

“i know i screwed up, but my career really got busy so i already knew that i would never have the time for you. but now, i'd be willing to give you more attention that you deserve.” 

after saying that in a more serious tone, kaiser began kissing your knuckles… then eventually, he ended up kissing you. and you… you ended up kissing back. you can't just resist his touch. 

both of you ended up making out in his car, until he carried you at the backseat. you continued your heated makeout session with your tongues battling with each other. his hands were placed on your hips, caressing your ass, while you focused on pulling him closer to you. 

the foreplay felt really nice. his tongue was on your neck while your knee was rubbing his cock, making sure he felt good. he smirked at your actions.

“since when did my little virgin liebling learned this? were you a bad girl while i was away?” 

you shook your head. you've given your entire focus on improving your career while he was gone. you thought you've moved on but here you are. still craving for the touch you felt years ago. 

“so you were a good girl all this time? i bet you waited for me.” kaiser gave you one kiss before lining the tip of his cock on the slit of your pussy. “you deserve to feel so good tonight, so i just want you to lay there, love. let me do everything.” 

again, you felt the tip of his cock enter your pussy. it's as if you were a virgin again. it's embarrassing to admit, but the last time you had sex was also three years ago. and it's still with michael kaiser.

kaiser stared at you as your mouth formed an ‘o’ shape while he was deep balls inside you. he couldn't believe what he was missing out on all these years. he tried so much to forget you, having hook ups here and there, but you were always in his mind. 

his thrusts were sensual at first, and he as rubbing your clit. it felt like he actually wanted to make you feel good. he tried kissing you as your legs locked around his waist. kaiser tried to put one of them around his arm as he looked into your eyes and french kissed you again.

as time went by, kaiser's thrusts became erratic. you could just imagine how his car looked like while he was making you see stars. you felt his cock twitching as he began to whisper into your ears.

“how is it, my love? are you cumming? i want you to say my name. tell the world who makes you feel good.” 

you moaned kaiser's nickname ‘mihya’ loudly while he rubbed your clit more as he spurted his juices inside you. you ended up squirting on his cock too. after that, both of you looked at each other while panting. a small smirk was placed on his lips. 

when the both of you got dressed, kaiser tossed you something. you caught it with your two hands. it was a set of keys. you asked what's that for, while looking at him in curiosity. 

“in case you still don't think i'm serious, here's the key to my house. and if you're wondering about the address, check your pocket later.” 

oh boy. kaiser might've started off as rocky at first, but upon realizing that you were the only one for him and that there's no one else like you, he knew he'd do everything to win you back. there's nobody else in this world could love you like he does. 

a/n: anddd i'm done with this for now 🤭 my next one will be reo x stripper reader 💗

[dollwhite]

𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇

Siren reader

Made by Dolling

Ps this was rushes at the least minute pls read my note at the end!!

Ok so imagine siren reader walking home from the grocery store? Right and like it’s the middle of the night crmnals and crooks r out. So siren reader is just walking with 2-3 bags filled with snacks and junk food when all of a sudden the young boy wonder jumps down infant of reader.

And gos like “Miss.. r you ok?”

AND you’re like “Oh yeah dude my days been great!” Because yeah u eat men but that doesn’t mean u have to be a villain. Like your just trying to live your life , ur taking a break from music, ur not really on social media anymore. Overall everything’s been good.

“Oh um well it’s a villain attack so I think u should go inside.”

That.. wasn’t what you were expecting?.. I mean you weren’t expecting a vigilante to drop down and ask u if you were ok in the first place. But it made you think?

What do you think about vigilantes.? You don’t hate them….. no but you don’t like them either. But this one? What was his name?.. Red Robin yeah that’s it Red Robin.

He could maybe change your mind about that, who ever is rising him their rising him right. But eh not really having a kid that looks no older than 16-17 fight villains like Joker and Bene weren’t good parenting choices. But what would you know? You didn’t have ANY kids or pets for that matter.

So you wouldn’t know anything about parenting but one thing you do know is that if you ever have a kid you wouldn’t want them fighting villains in their teenage years, that’s even worse than them going out partying or drinking.

“Oh would you look at the time, sorry kid I would love to stay and chat but I have to get home! Stay safe though.!!” You shouted, time passed quickly and before you even realized it had been 15 minutes. The trip to the store was only supposed to take at most 8 minutes, as you only like 3 minutes from the store.

𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤

Bruce is going to kill him.. and that’s if the others don’t get to him first.

Tim doesn’t know why but… he was just drawn to you… but could you really blame him? Seeing someone carrying groceries bags in the middle of a big villain attack, wasn’t an every day thing. Maybe it was the way you just seemed to not care about your surroundings.

Or the fact that you were the only one not running indoors, trying to find shelter. Also the fact that your bags were fuller with junk food.

Shit what time is it? Before you run off Tim could have sworn you said something about it having been 15 minutes?? He hopes you read the time wrong.. because if you didn’t than Bruce was going to kill him.

He should start going, any minute now and the coms are going to be filled with them asking what’s taking him so long. He should get going now, when all of this is over. He’s going to look into you look about 21-24 You didn’t look that much older than him maybe more around Jason’s age or Dicks.

Nah you couldn’t be Jason’s age, When Jason died Tim research his class. And Tim never forgets a face if you were in Jason’s old class or school he would have recognized you at lest.

Maybe you’re younger than Jason? Maybe a year or two. Oh look his back at the manner….. in the cave.

𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝

It was a good thing you were friends with ivy, if not?…. Your Condo would have been boomed a while ago. It was a crazy day to be a ‘hero’ glad you aren’t one. Your not a villain either

Your just a woman that eats men..

Today was chaotic to say the least. Five different villains had teamed up to take down the hero’s. This was not what you were expecting when moving toGotham, maybe you should go back to star city or just somewhere. You chose Gotham because wellll… it’s a shity place with shity people.

Mostly Man but, it was a lot easier getting man to follow you. All you had to really do was go to a club or bar and just take them to the back.

Hiii so Dolling here I just wanted to say this is kinda short notice because my internet is down, and idk when my mom is going to pay the bill. So ima just try and finish most of my drafts on google docs. And when I’m around internet I will post them! Reblogs and likes are always appreciated!! Also I think I’m going to change my theme every two/month AND my top follower at that time will be able to choose the theme!!

Or should I do a poll with 3 different themes and the one that wins will be the heme for that month, and the one that was close to winning will be my theme for the next month? U guys can pick between those two options!

Love you all

Dolling shining out 💗

[thanosscross]

Hello hello!! Welcome to my little meet your writer section!! 🫶🫶 I’m so excited you’re here! Welcome!

I felt like with you all being my lovelies and being so kind and amazing, you might want to get to know the writer behind some of your favorite stories of mine! 🫶💕☺️ please keep in mind this is a judgement free page, where none of it will be tolerated, unless we’re judging the man who shall not be named 🙄 so welcome! Get to know me here 🫶🫶

Hi! I’m currently 19 turning 20 this February 5th! 🫶 which I’m very excited about,

I go by she/they, really anything you’d like to call me! I’m somewhat the middle child, I have an older brother and two younger brothers, so I’m the only daughter/niece/granddaughter on my dad’s side (my dad’s only child). I grew up with somewhat of a rocky childhood so I’ve always got a soft spot for kids, I’ve become the ‘Mary Poppins’ of my family rather quickly so I’ve always got a kid on my hip, whether its my cousin, youngest brother (5&6), or my fiancée’s niece (5).

I’ve been engaged for almost a year now, I met my fiancee working at a local grocery store, She came through my check-out line, before applying a few weeks later. I ended up being the person to train her for the job position, and ever since then we hit it off, We were both in pretty toxic relationships before, so whenever we got together it was a little weird, but we quickly found a healthy groove together, and it's just been happy times ever since <3 A lot of people say it's too soon, or we're too young, but we prefer it this way, it gets all of the big stressful stuff out of the way, that way we'll have more time to focus on each other and building our family in the future <3. I was always taught that whenever you find the person you know is not only a good relationship partner but also a good business partner, you've found the one, and nothing is too fast, and I know I found my perfect partner in life <33.

I like writing a lot, I’ve been writing since I was about, 9 or 10? So almost full decade now, holy shit, I started out on wattpad, moved to writing on paper, and then eventually moved to tumblr around the time I turned 14? I like to call myself a 'detailed writer', I think of it as a writer who is more focused with writing out physical feelings and emotions. I like my stories to not only be easy to read, but I also like my stories written in a way where you can really picture or imagine the feelings behind the words, I feel like those are the best stories to read, in my opinion <33

I have five animals in total (I know! A lot!) I have three dogs, and two guinea pigs, MooMoo, Charlie, Daisy, Winnie, and Honey Bunz, who are all pain in my asses, but I wouldn't know what to do without all of them <3. For the longest time I wanted to be a lawyer, then it changed to a police officer, all because my original dream of being a firefighter was kinda taken from me whenever I was diagnosed with something that prevents me from safely working in overheated conditions. Now I'm set on writer, or just in the public eye, I don't really mind how, preferably some type of dancer (Competition teams/back-dancer/etc) Or a screen writer, I just want a position in the public eye where I'm actually heard and not just drowned out over the sounds of everybody else (Told you lovelies, rough childhood) I want my words to mean something, I want to be a voice for the people who can't find theirs yet <3

Favorites? Music wise? It's a little all over the place but my top five? (not in order) BigBang, ATEEZ, ENHYPEN, Sir-Mix-Alot, and stray kids <3 Shows? Squid game definitely, or a spin off series of the walking dead that's recently come out, The Walking Dead: The ones who live, I also watch 911, and the Rookie (I really miss being a firefighter when I had the chance). Movies? Really anything horror, I'll always be excited about a new scary movie that comes out, I've been like that since I was itty bitty though >< Jobs? I'd have to say either being a firefighter at only 16-17, or being the Easter Bunny one time at my local mall, those two were the most fun!

My style? I have three different types of styles, I either dress in Baggy Clothes (cargo pants, baggy t-shirts, my black jacket) or tight clothes (undershirts, skinny jeans, a flannel or button up, kept open, to go over it) or a mixture of both 😂 I’ve been mainly sticking with my baggier clothes lately though 🤌💕

Hmmmm...Last get to know me section..What should I put? We'll get a lil personal. I've struggled with severe depression and anxiety since I was around 11 or 12, whenever I had something bad happen to me at 13, it just caused it to become worse, along with other diagnoses. This one is a little more recent, and I'm still a little iffy about sharing it, just because a lot of people give it a bad rep, but I was recently diagnosed Bi-Polar. It wasn't that much of a shock, almost every female in my family has it, and it made a lot of sense for some things I experienced, especially the manic part of it. I've slowly been learning just because I was raised around people who are Bi-Polar who weren't good people, doesn't mean I'm a bad person just because we share the same diagnosis. I go to the doctor, take meds, just like anybody else <3, Some of you lovelies might question why I got so personal on here about it, but for the few that have the same thoughts, know you're not alone, I'm in the same boat with you, so why not us hang out and chill while we're here <33

And without further a-do....

Hi! Lovely to see you here lovely <3 this is the face behind some of your favorite stories! 💕🥰 so glad we can finally meet!

[resident-idiot-simp]

Wade and his cancer

Logan had noticed the sickly smell that came from Wade how could he not? Hell Logan would go as far to say it now reminded him of home. He knew the scent was off but he just assumed it had something to do with his mutation.

It was a day like any other where Logan was chilling on the couch and Althea was on her chair. They were watching TV while Al made sardonic comments every few minutes. Logan was surprised Wade wasn't up and awake by now since he usually was. The both of them still got up early because of their time as soldiers.

An hour later Wade shambled out of the bedroom. Logan smelled the pain that wafted from him immediately. He looked over alarmed and saw Wade wincing as he shuffled. Logan was immediately on his feet and at the other man's side.

"Wade what's wrong?" He asked worriedly. Wade just grimaced, "Nothing honey badger." Wade said voice cracking and unconvincing. Logan just stared at him unconcerned and Wade grimaces harder. Althea piped up, "Bad day?" She asked sympatheticly Logan looked between the two confused.

He was missing something that was obvious. Wade made a pained noise of agreement and Logan was completely and utterly lost. He bit back a whine he didn't like that his mate was hurting. Wade just smiled up at him trying to reassure him before his eyes went wide and he stumbled into the bathroom. Logan watched horrified as Wade puked his guts out in the toilet.

Logan moved quickly to his side eyes wide as saucers as he rubbed at the other man's back. Wade just groaned as he flushed the toilet and stumbled to his feet with Logan's help. Wade washed out his mouth as Logan runs a damp cloth over Wade's face.

Eventually Logan and Wade shamble to the couch. When he was finally layed out Wade on top of Logan he finally relaxed slightly melting more into the familiar heat. "What is going on with you you are worrying me Wade." Logan asked. Althea made a questioning noise. "Wade did you not tell him?" She asked.

Logan looked between her and Wade once more, "Tell me what?" He asked beyond lost. Althea tried to look at Wade pointedly but ended up starting at a wall. Wade answered anyway, "Cancer baby girl." Wade says flippantly.

Logan jerks his head down to look at Wade in alarm. "What?!" Logan half barks. Wade manages to somewhat shrug. "I've got like stage 20 cancer." Wade says like it means nothing. "The fuck you mean you have cancer?!" Logan asked distressed. Wade pats at him comfortingly.

"That's why I look like I do I'm just one big cancerous tumor." Wade tells him and Logan hates that things are starting to make more sense. "The healing factor..." Logan trails of as the puzzle comes together.

"Is so fast because of cancer which is also constantly killing me." Wade says half choked like he's holding back tears. Logan hates this he hates this so much. Wade never cries never shows weakness and the fact he is is a testament to how bad the pain is.

"How long have you had cancer?" Logan asks hesitantly. "2016 about a year after I met Vanessa. Passed out on her and got diagnosed, shit was terminal and I didn't have long to live." He muttered into Logan's collarbone. Logan just rubbed at the mans back soothingly as he took it in.

"Left Vanessa to spare her and signed up for an experimental 'treatment' that promised to cure me and make me into a super hero." The air quotes were audible.

"Knew it was bullshit but what the fuck other option did I have? Next thing you know I'm being injected with something to kickstart a mutation with this universe's Logan's DNA." Logan didn't know what to say or how to feel.

"Got tortured for I don't know how long until it activated." Wade finished and Logan had to fight himself not to growl. "They're dead." Logan said more then asked. "Slaughtered them all and blew the place sky high." Wade confirmed.

Logan had to be content with that.