cardboardboxcomplex

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You know what? Maybe you did know better! Maybe you didn’t do your best. There are a lot of posts that talk about “give yourself grace. You didn’t know better. You didn’t know then what you know now”.

And it’s a great message. I’ve shared it too! But maybe you did know better and still made bad decisions. Maybe you knowingly didn’t do your best. And you know what? You still deserve your compassion and forgiveness.

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Self-Portrait Against Red Wallpaper

by Richard Siken

Close the blinds and kill the birds, I surrender my desire for a logical culmination. I surrender my desire to be healed. The blurriness of being alive. Take it or leave it, and for the most part you take it. Not just the idea of it but the ramifications of it. People love to hate themselves, avoiding the necessary recalibrations. Shame comes from vanity. Shame means you’re guilty, like the rest of us, but you think you’re better than we are. Maybe you are. What would a better me paint? There is no new me, there is no old me, there’s just me, the same me, the whole time. Vanity, vanity, forcing your will on the world. Don’t try to make a stronger wind, you’ll wear yourself out. Build a better sail. You want to solve something? Get out of your own way. What’s the difference between me and the world? Compartmentalization. The world doesn’t know what to do with my love. Because it isn’t used to being loved. It’s a framework problem. Disheartening? Obviously. I hope it’s love. I’m trying really hard to make it love. I said no more severity. I said it severely and slept through all my appointments. I clawed my way into the light but the light is just as scary. I’d rather quit. I’d rather be sad. It’s too much work. Admirable? Not really. I hate my friends. And when I hate my friends I’ve failed myself, failed to share my compassion. I shine a light on them of my own making: septic, ugly, the wrong yellow. I mean, maybe it’s better if my opponent wins.

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2am bathroom sad thoughts with Thiu. would've been a literally me character a few years ago lol

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Maybe instead of complaining about the ADHD and ASD diagnosis rates, we need to make peace with the idea that “Neurodiversity” may actually, in fact, describe the majority of human beings because “Neurotypical” is a word that only describes people who thrive in a capitalist society, which is very, very few individuals.

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respect to al jazeera for including this in their coverage

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*girl whos scared out of her mind* i think what matters is love and being kind and thats it

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「生まれる願い」 (Birth of a Wish) 

FRUITS BASKET 1st season original sound collection 

Episode 5, 8 Insert Song Performer: ウタ・アリィ(Uta Arii) Composer: Masaru Yokoyama Arranger: Masaru Yokoyama Lyricist: ENA☆ 

Official Lyrics (JP + romaji) and EN Fan Translation

暗闇中を彷徨い歩いて kurayami no naka wo samayoi aruite When I was wandering in the darkness 

呼吸さえ忘れていた  kokyousae wasureteita  I forgot how to breathe

一本の道じやないって  ippon no michi jyanai tte  even if the direct path isn’t here

分かっても迷うことで  wakatte mo mayou koto de  I understand I’m still lost  

遠回りした日も懐かしい  tomawari shita hi mo nazukashii  and I still miss nostalgic days

誰もが思い描く  dare mo ga omoiedaku  Everyone has an image 

倖せに触れたくて  shiawase ni furetakute  of the happiness they want to feel 

 涙しては また進んでいく  namidashite wa  mata susundeiku  Even if I’m crying, I will move forward 

優しいその言葉で  yashashii sono kotoba de  your kind words 

心があたたかくて  感じてるよ  kokoro ga atatakakute  kanjiteru yo  my heart felt warmth from those 

 一人じやないこと  hitori jyanai koto  “You’re not alone”

ちっぽけな世界窓の向こうには  chippoke na sekai mado no mukou ni wa  In that small world I can view from that window

光が広がっていた  hikari ga hirogatteita  The light reached through

困難を乗り越えて  konnan wo norikoete  I climbed that difficulty

笑顔に変えていける  egao ni kaete ikeru  And turned it into a smile

そんな君に会えて嬉しい  sonna kimi ni aete ureshii  I’m glad I met you

生まれる願いの中  umareru negai no naka  In that wish being born

輝きを増す未来  kagayaki wo masu mirai  Is a brighter future

醜い感情も  minikui kanjou mo  Even those ugly feelings

ほら消えていく  hora kiete iku  Here, they disappear

その手に導かれて  sono te ni michibikarete Those hands will guide me

たどり着いた答えは  tadoritsuita kotae wa  To the answer I reached

信じられる  shinjirareru  I believe in them 

どこにも行かないと  doko ni mo ikanai to  Wherever I go

何回も何回も失敗したって  nankai mo nankai mo shippaishitatte  Even if I fail many times

どれも全部大切な思い出  dore mo zenbu taisetsuna omoide  All of these important feelings

大丈夫それぞれの倖せが  daijoubu sorezore no shiawase ga  I’ll be all right, as each happiness

待ってるから  matteru kara  Will be waiting for me

ここからまたはじまる  koko kara mata hajimeru  From here I’ll start again

誰もが思い描く dare mo ga omoiedaku Everyone has an image 

倖せに触れたくて shiawase ni furetakute of the happiness they want to feel  

涙しては また進んでいく namidashite wa  mata susundeiku Even if I’m crying, I will move forward 

優しいその言葉で yashashii sono kotoba de your kind words 

心があたたかくて  感じてるよ kokoro ga atatakakute  kanjiteru yo my heart felt warmth from those  

一人じやないこと hitori jyanai koto “You’re not alone”

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Tagging out @keisuke-akimi @takayatweets @lilyginnyblackv2 and hope you people can check this fanmade translation of mine! (and correct errors if there are, thanks)

also dedicated to my Discord comrades @palamig @shigures-house @eriseas @dillydallyings @onewordtest @presidentyukisohma @dontlookatmepwease @mearbar @auroralynne @yunsoh Credits to @kure-no from Discord for the lyrics! 

and to everyone feeling down, here’s a song for us all, and may it give you a small but starting comfort to take the next step on wherever our paths may lead :) P.S. To everyone who might be uploading the lyrics somewhere, please don’t forget to ask for credits! And if you can edit my translation, it will be better actually :)

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Past Lives (2023)

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PAST LIVES (2023) dir. Celine Song

- But why are you immigrating? Na Young's father is a film director, and you're an artist. Why would you leave all that behind? - When you leave something behind, you gain something, too.

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There's a word in Korean: 인연 [in yun] ⁠— it means "providence" or "fate". If two strangers walk by each other in the street, and their clothes accidentally brush, that means there have been eight thousand layers of 인연 between them.

PAST LIVES (2023) dir. Celine Song

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“It seems to me, that if we love, we grieve. That’s the deal. That’s the pact. Grief and love are forever intertwined. Grief is the terrible reminder of the depths of our love and, like love, grief is non-negotiable. There is a vastness to grief that overwhelms our minuscule selves. We are tiny, trembling clusters of atoms subsumed within grief’s awesome presence. It occupies the core of our being and extends through our fingers to the limits of the universe. Within that whirling gyre all manner of madnesses exist; ghosts and spirits and dream visitations, and everything else that we, in our anguish, will into existence. These are precious gifts that are as valid and as real as we need them to be. They are the spirit guides that lead us out of the darkness. […] Dread grief trails bright phantoms in its wake. These spirits are ideas, essentially. They are our stunned imaginations reawakening after the calamity. Like ideas, these spirits speak of possibility. Follow your ideas, because on the other side of the idea is change and growth and redemption. Create your spirits. Call to them. Will them alive. Speak to them. It is their impossible and ghostly hands that draw us back to the world from which we were jettisoned; better now and unimaginably changed.”

— Nick Cave,  from The Red Hand Files (no. 6, October 2018)

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Grief and growing

1/4/5- ‘Miss You. Would Like To Take A Walk With You.’ by Gabrielle Calvocoressi. 2- ‘Out of Love’ by Hazel Hayes. 3- ‘Fleabag.’ 6- ‘The Isle of the Dead’ by Arnold Böcklin. 7/8- ‘Miss you. Would like to grab that chilled tofu we love.’ by Gabrielle Calvocoressi. 9- ‘The Good Place.’ 10- ‘When you meet someone in deep grief.’ by Patricia Mckernon Runkle

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Long distance grief

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Anna Akhmatova, tr. by Lenore Mayhew and William Mcnaughton, from Poem Without A Hero and Selected Poems; “In a dream”