#but also I can't help but word vomit I guess so here we are

[cosmicanemoia]

Caged Hearts

Melissa Schemmenti x reader

SUMMARY

After one too many failed and traumatic relationships you gave up giving love chances but then you met her. The one who you'd tear the walls you've built for, Melissa Schemmenti.

You're good at reading people. Their motives, true colors, and what they would do in a given situation or certain situations. Safe to say you're never wrong, except when you fell for them, and when love comes to picture, that's a whole different story.

Love blinds you. It makes you uncertain about things you are certain about. Though, you give it a chance, lots of chance, but then they break, and break, then break you even more. You decided not to give love a chance any more, "never again" you promised to yourself, but you got sent to Abbott Elementary as their new academic coordinator by the government (the last one quitting because the pay is low and the school doesn't have much budget) and you met a hot headed red head. "Schemmenti, Melissa Schemmenti" you recall her introducing herself to you and your heart bangs your ribs wanting to be let out.

"What are you doing here? You have a kid here? What's you're name?" Melissa bombarded you with question but you were too stunned to speak. "Hey kid, why are you here?" The world kid pulled you out of your trance "sorry, I was too stunned by your beauty I could not form words or sentences for a moment" you said which made her took a step back not believing what she just heard, looking around checking if its real, you saw her response and you complimented the woman beside her who you've come to know as Barbara, but not in a flirty way "You're very beautiful too, Ma'am" you said as you slightly bow your head down to her "such a gentle woman, thanks, dear" Barbara nudge Melissa with her elbow "Schemmenti, Melissa Schemmenti. Second grade teacher" she introduced herself and Barbara did too and gives you a hug out of nowhere, Janine joined in, and you cleared your throat after a few seconds making them back out. Jacob introduces himself and Gregory did as well.

Ava reached her hand out to you and say "Principal Ava Coleman. Are you too stunned by my beauty that you can't form words again?" Before you could response Janine butted in "Do you think I'm beautiful too?" You just smiled at her and nod. Melissa introduces the man who came to took the trash but you already know him so you greeted him "Hi! Mr. Johnson" "Oh hey, bye" Mr. Johnson replied and went. Ava inquire "you already knew him?" "Yes. It seemed that I went here too early, he showed me around. He's a funny guy" you said and Melissa replied "Oh yes. I have a guy for everything and he's my funny guy. He's also my plumber guy" "you have a guy for everything-- that's so cool" you said and your casual attitude change into your business attitude, you clear your throat covering your mouth with your closed fist and say "Principal Coleman, can we talk in private?" "Sure come by my office, we could do more than talk there" the principal said and you just laugh nervously "ok"

"That poor woman" Barbara commented after you're out of sight "she seem to like what's going on" Melissa replied and Barbara gave her a warning look "I didn't mean it Barbs" Melissa explained.

The moment your eyes meet hers, you felt something. When she showed you kindness, you know she'll give you a lot of trouble, so you took a deep breath and starts building a wall around her, which you willingly take down every now and then, you keep your guard up, but not even the strongest soldier can keep their guard up if someone they might "love" asks to bring them down. That word makes you hurl, makes you want to vomit, even when you just thought of it for a second, so you try very hard not to.

Your heart, mind, and guts is telling you the same thing, that she's actually a good person, that she genuinely care, but you know you have feelings for her, so maybe not. You know it's wrong to think that, but you just can't help but second guess anyone you have feelings for, especially when they're so kind.

Melissa is tough, speaks her mind. She tried to hide her softness, and you think she just needed a hug.

You flirt but you never commit. You let yourself feel something, but you quickly take a step back whenever you feel it could lead to something more.

What may be a harmless and a little mischievous flirting for you, sometimes might have lead to someone being led on.

Melissa and Barbara were at their usual table, while Janine, Gregory, and Jacob were in the table just behind the duo. Ava barges in, flipping her hair from side to side, with a gorgeous woman in tow, she's about your age, everyone thinks so. Ava and the other woman scans the room, obviously looking for someone who is not yet there.

"Who's she?" Melissa inquired, speaking everyone's mind. Ava looks at the woman "I don't remember. But she's looking for Y/N, said she's her girlfriend" Ava looked at Melissa when she said the word 'girlfriend', Melissa crosses her arms on her chest and let's out a quiet scoff only her friend could hear.

"Oh, Hi!" Janine squealed "You're so beautiful" she said with so much enthusiasm, it made Ava's eyes roll to the back of her head in annoyance. "Makes sense. You're both hot and beautiful" Jacob commented then Gregory raises his eyebrows and nods in agreement. "What's your name, dear?" Barbara asked and before the woman could answer, you open the door and walks in while your eyes are fixated on the food you were holding. Halfway in the room, you notice the silence, and you halt, you look up and look around, you narrowed your eyes, waiting for someone to tell you what's going on, you open your mouth to ask something but Melissa beat you to it "You just walk past your girlfriend" "I don't--" your reply is interrupted when someone suddenly give you a back hug, you flinched and tried to escape, but your reaction time is so slow, now your trapped.

"You're Y/N, right? I saw your pictures, you look more amazing in person" you turn to face her and push her away softly, you took a few step backwards to distance yourself from the beautiful stranger "I'm sorry but who are you?" "Don't you know your girlfriend?" You look at Melissa, confused by her question 'what girlfriend?' You think to yourself and you smirk at her understanding what's going on 'is she jealous?' You asked yourself and you scoff internally at the thought, slightly amused. "I don't have a girlfriend" you defended "I'm Jade. And we have a date" Jade said "Oh. Jade. You're the one they set me up with" you said thinking back on your silly friends "Yes, that's me. Didn't you see my picture?" She confirmed "I didn't bother to look. I thought they were bluffing.-- So, you're my date, not my girlfriend" you said and it relieves Melissa a little. "Yes and no. We'll go on a date, I'll end up in your bed, and I'll be your good little girlfriend in no time" Jade said and you just reply "Uh huh" "being your date and being your girlfriend is basically the same thing" she added, and Melissa scoffs in response, Barbara enjoying her friends reaction to the conversation, you say firmly "it is most certainly not" Melissa chuckled at your statement.

A few hours later you went to the date, after less than twenty minutes during the date you confronted the woman that you are not looking for a relationship, she understood, and you both ended up being friends.

You went in early to school and went to the teacher's lounge to make something to drink, there is only one other person in. You see Melissa drinking something, looking at something on her phone, you didn't bother her and just went to the vending machine. Melissa looks up and see you getting an energy bar from the machine, "How's your girlfriend?" Melissa teased and you tease back "I won't know if you don't tell me. How are you my baby?" You sit next to her, on her right, not wanting to sit on her best friends place looking at Melissa with puppy eyes and she just scoffs at you. "How's your good little girlfriend?" She paraphrased, it sounded like a mock. "FYI. She did not become my 'good little girlfriend' nor did she end up in my bed. And I was not looking forward to be her girlfriend, although, a beautiful woman wanting to end up in my bed sounds promising" you replied trying to convince no one, making Melissa's heart warm and swell up, she's now grinning ear to ear "Dinner. My place, just you and me"

This time the flirting got too much, you don't know how it happened, Melissa invited you to dinner. DINNER! at her house! Just the two of you. Then your vision blur and your face turn red.

"Now that's a good one" you point and nod at her "If that's a real offer I would decline, but it wasn't, so, sure. I'll play along" you added "I'm not kidding yah, kid. Let's have dinner" Melissa defended "Oh, so I'm a kid now, that's not what you were calling me earlier, baby" a smirk starts to show on your face. She just stares at you and you decline "I can't. I have a thing" Melissa's ego is bruised a little "You have a flipping thing so you can't. Okay. That's totally understandable" she said sarcastically and looks at you with a straight face "Yes. Thanks. Maybe some other time, we should invite the others as well" you declined again and she's just sitting there with an unreadable expression on her face, but you're getting the vibe that she wants to beat you up, hearing her in your head saying 'you don't know who you're messing with', you see her looking away from you "Sorry, babe. I swear I have a thing so I can't" Melissa rolled her eyes and scoffs at you "Whatever kid. Just admit that you won't have dinner with me because you truly think I'm too old for you" She looks down to hide her smirk, pretending to be sad. "What? That's not--" you were interrupted "Sure, kid. Whatever helps you sleep at night" Melissa's smirk grew wider and wider, she knew what she's doing and you have not yet catch up on it.

She's guilting you into saying yes, and with those eyes, now looking at you with so much anticipation, how could you say no 'it's just a friendly dinner and nothing more' you said to yourself but you know deep down, in your caged heart, it is something more.

"Fine. I'll have dinner with you, at your house" you finally cave in. Melissa looks up to look at you, the smirk she had, have turned into a wide grin, making you suddenly realise what she just did. "Come by my place at six" Melissa proudly said, so you try to burst her bubble "I see what you did there" but ended up kind of complimenting her, "I'll show you some more on our dinner date" Melissa said which made your eyes grow wide, not by her showing you 'more', but by her saying its a dinner date  "I don't doubt that for even a second-- so, it's  a date, huh-" you said and she shakes her head "what do you think it is?" She asked, you answer "like not a date, just something" you shrug "you're seriously so thick" she told you "oh my, thank you for the compliment. I could certainly say the same thing about you" she rolled her eyes, sick of you playing the fool, she sighed, and someone enter the room, bursting their bubbles and bringing them back to reality.

You are now in your lonesome trying clothes to wear for your date with Melissa. You applaud her for how she played you, but you can't believe how you let yourself be played and how you play along, how would you let her play you. 'Ah, shit. Here we go again' you told yourself before leaving your place.

You are now sitting infront of Melissa, eating her delicious home cooked meal.

"Why'd that beautiful woman didn't end up in your bed?" Melissa asked out of the blue "Eh, she's too young for me, and she's not my type" you answered her "too young? She's literally your age" she scoffed "exactly, too young, for me at least" you replied "What's your type, then?" You look up from your food already meeting her gaze, you almost blurted 'you' but you didn't, you describe her instead "short tempered, red head, leather wearing woman, who's great at cooking, uses her said 'old age' into making people to come have dinner with her. You know anybody like her?" She scoffs and tries to hide the red on her face that is now matching the red of her hair. After a minute of composing herself she finally answers your question "No. I don't think I do, but I know a guy who knows a guy who might" "of course you do"

You burst out laughing and the sound of your laughter warms and lights Melissa's house, she watch at the sight infront of her thinking 'I would love to get used to this' "I have something to say" she said way too loudly, the neighbors can hear, you look at her, willing and ready to listen "I'm all yours" you said with a sultry voice, Melissa sighed and thinks 'I wish' to herself.

"I've always keep people at arms length. Especially the people I find hot and am attracted to-- I flirt here and there, sometimes even date, but never something more, something real" you listen intently to every word she said, thinking to yourself 'same', you  and Melissa simultaneously took a deep breath and she continues "But you... You. When I met you, and get to really know you, somehow my walls came crashing down on me, but it didn't hurt- not even a little bit. I'm just glad. Glad that you came in to my life, glad that you took the walls down, and super glad to have asked you to have dinner with me. I'm so grateful that I get to hear your laugh and see your smile, and its because of me" the tears that have been falling from her eyes earlier, only got notice now that she's finished her speech, she brought her hands to wipe her tears and eventually cover her face "I'm sorry-" "stop" you commanded her and she followed.

You stand up from your seat and walk towards her, you hugged her. The warm of your embrace made Melissa hum in response. A couple of minutes later you break the hug and cup her cheeks, wiping some tears away using your tumb "you stole my line, you thief" you said and it made her chuckle "what do you mean? you won't know when I steal from you" you wanted to say 'I know. Cause you've stolen my heart long ago but I only notice earlier, when I saw you crying' but you didn't, instead you just say "I mean I was supposed to say that because that's exactly how I feel as well-- Everything you just said, all of it. Me too--"

You pulled each other into a kiss, your mouths working as one. Each minute the kiss starts to deepen. It gets sloppier every couple of seconds. The desperation, the passion, and the hunger, sated by each others tongue on the others' mouth.

"Why have we waited this long to do this?" Melissa asked out of breath "because we're both traumatised by our past relationships. --And we're both idiots" you replied, also out of breath and then kiss each other again.

You both pulled out of the kiss needing oxygen and when you get your fill you get back to kissing each other desperately. Hands wandering and exploring the bodies that is not their own.

You're both out of breath again "Wanna take this to my bedroom?" Melissa said panting, you nodded and she took your hand, kissing each other while walking over to the bedroom.

After making love with each other, one or two times. You're now spooning each other. "If you tell anyone about this, I know a guy who will make you regret it" she threatened you "I won't Ms. Schemmenti" you said in a slow and a grade schooler manner, teasing her "You're secret is safe with me. I won't tell anyone, that you're the little spoon" you shower her face with kisses "also, you're not very threatening in this position" you added and she scoff "Yeah, Right"

In the morning, you wake up with someone laying her head on top of your chest. You smile at the sight of red strand of hairs in front of your face. There's still some doubt and worries, but for Melissa, you don't care if she'd end up hurting you. You're only focusing in the now, not dwelling back when and then, just thankful for the present.

Her alarm rang and she wokes up, " I hate Monday mornings " she said groggily "good thing it's a Sunday morning then" you said certainly "No. It's monday" she said less groggily, you check your phone for the date and saw that it's indeed Monday, sighing in defeat you say "I better get going then" "what?" Melissa asked, now looking at you "I need to go, I need to shower and change clothes" you told her and she say "you could do that here, I'll lend you some of my clothes, we could shower together" you hummed at the thought of her last sentence "we can't, we'll be late" Melissa rolled her eyes and stands up from the bed "fine. Go take a shower first, I'll find some clothes for you to wear, and I'll cook us breakfast" "Roger that miss Schemmenti"

You ride with her on the way to school. You're both earlier than anyone as usual, or so you thought, you walk in the teacher's lounge hand in hand not noticing someone is there, Melissa kissed you and the person cleared their throat, which made Melissa jump "Shit. Barb. You scared the hell out me--" she looks at you seeing you with a grin on your face "why didn't you say anything?" "I was but I can't, your tongue was in my mouth" you replied.

"Everyone pay up" Barbara announced when everyone is in the room Melissa took her wallet out of her bag and you check your pockets "What for?" Melissa asked "Not you two" Barbara replied and it hit you, they've placed bets. You smile and nod your head.

"No, they didn't" Ava said, not wanting to pay. Barbara replied "They very much did, I saw it with my own two eyes earlier. If that is not enough proof, look at Y/N, she's literally wearing Melissa's clothes" Everyone looks at you and their eyes widened "you didn't" Jacob said to you and you just nod and grinned in response. "We very much did" Melissa confirmed.

Janine, Ava, Jacob, Gregory, and even Mr. Johnson placed their twenties on Barbara's palm. You raised your eyes at Melissa and then it hit her " You placed bets on us? Why didn't you tell me so I could join in" You just shake your head at her with a smile on your face.

[tamtuliko]

Thoughts collected

4 minutes addition

So... tomorrow's is Friday. Finally, the end of the week. Unfortunately, I'm unable to watch the ep. 6 till Saturday morning, as I live in Japan and we are a few hrs forward, to put it simply while ep. 6 will be premiered. I'll be dreaming about this:

Seriously, does anyone move from this scene?? Cause my dumbest didn't, and I'm not sure I'll ever be. Look, I'm still thinking about Alex and Henry's scene on deck. These two were so cutesy and shit.

Sorry, I suddenly lost myself.

What I was saying is that it's really hard to move from the scene when the shit is happening in the series.

So I need to word vomit here.

I need to ask first:

Okay... let's see what we've got so far:

Great's timeline

Probably Tyme's timline

Tonklas timeline

In Greats timeline, he goes cardiac arrest at 11 o'clock. How he got at hospital we don't know. Yes, we saw him getting shot and bla bla bla, but don't forget this is after he re-do shit. Saved woman and this woman became his end. And dot forget, she is also his begging. She is the first re-do Great did. In his timeline we don't know what happened to Tyme. Is he alive running to Great? Or is he dying somewhere.

Tymes' timeline is more complicated cause we've seen Greats POV so far. I guess we will see Tymes from the next episode, and then we will have culmination. But just guess: Tymes plan was to get Great, I don't know fall in love or just befriend him and use him against his family or just use him for information, but he fall in love and that's where all shit goes down. In the end, we see Tyme run and his bloody nose appear and dissappear, I think we are shown 2 timelines, one is Greats, and another one is Tymes. Which is which hell knows. With Greats re-do, Tyme saved Nan and all good, but in Tymes timeline, nothing has changed, I think. The bloody nose in ep. 5 and Tyme being shot in ep. 1 can be seen as evidence. The place where he is shot looks like where illegal casino or Greats Fathers whearhouse is.

Tonklas timeline, the easy one, this kid got some serious problems. He went for revenge, his little brother never was saved, he was neglected by Korn, got new man, and became a murderer. I think his and Tymes' timeline can be seen as the same. Without Greats re-do. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty interested in how his character gonna help and how his choices gonna help the timelines and the world's, but his story is really boring for me. I am stunned by Fuaiz (Tonkla), he is a great actor, he does everything really well, but Tonkla as a character for me af this moment is very boring and just I don't know... I can't see him fitting.

So

Great goes cardiac arrest, Tyme runs to him

Tonkla killes Title, who killed his little brother

Tyme is shot while somewhere, maybe trying to save Nan.

2 and 3 can be same timelines. Great is still going to cardiac arrest.

And here is the main thing, if this is some suspense/ supernatural series, the worlds will collide, and we will have one timeline, everybody surviving or dying.

Like in 1 Tyme will experience the other Tymes' feelings and maybe even see all the shit. Again, I don't know about Tonkla. How is he fitting in this story? I can't wait to see it, really. Great is already experiencing different timelines, so we will se if he survives.

Wild guess, after watching Bible and Jes rehearsal for 1st meeting. It was like they were in the same place, but they couldn't reach each other, typical parallel worlds and different timelines. It was the same act in teaser as well. They met, fought, fell in love, separated, and in the end, they died.

One of them for sure will die. Or both of them. Bible in his interview said that a happy ending depends on person, how we see it. For someone, it can be these two surviving and continuing loving and living. For some, it can be them meeting again afterlife. Let's not forget that death is not the end, Albus Dumbledore said: "After all, to the well-organised mind, death is but the next great adventure".

I hope for a better end, but... they are going to be together in everytimelime, parallel , and the afterlife.

I don't know a shit.

I'm sleep deprived, and I need to see Jes being bullied by Bible.

Sorry if I didn't make a sense.

The whole series doesn't make sense anymore. Yet I'm still here, in my 10000 rewatch.

Also:

Is that dimples I see there??

Soft, soft, soft

These two kisses were everything. Tyme is scared, nervous, and unsure. You can see it in his eyes, Jes, the actor you are 😍

Sorry, I just love this baby girl.

See you on Saturday. I am fucking working on that day, I'm gonna get myself ship home if continue being distracted 😆btw...

[viatagrinner]

Gilbert von Obsidian. I want to know the secret you're hiding. His POV.

Human greed and soft-heartedness are the cause of mistakes.

What is rotten cannot be restored.

If left unchecked, the rest would rot in a chain reaction.

So, I'm going to clean it up.

Wipe it clean, don't bring dirt into the world.

Gilbert: So? How were you guys going to turn on me?

There was a sea of blood.

The corpses of beasts, not only human beings, but also greedy beasts, are piled up on top of each other.

The only ones standing upright were me and the helper in the charcoal-black hood.

Picking up the sword lying on the ground, I slashed the only survivor, the beast, in the shoulder.

(Dirty.....)

Man: Oww... I... I don't know anything.

I cut the shoulder from the other side and kicked it to the slightly muddy ground.

Gilbert: Then you want me to guess?

Gilbert: You guys heard that the Beast the Conqueror has a "favorite" in Rhodolite.

Man: ....Aaah....

Gilbert: With her, the cold-blooded royalty might listen.

Gilbert: You give me back the title you deprived me of, and the woman will be safe and sound, I'll give her back to you... You were about to say something like that.

Gilbert: In your scary dreams you launched one of these parasites into Rhodolite, didn't you?

Man: Oww.... Help me....

Gilbert: Ahaha, you idiot...

Gilbert: ....Do you think you're allowed to breathe after messing around with my prey?

Ruthlessly swinging my sword.

Spatter stains clothes and face.

The beast didn't move anymore.

(Really... How many people I've killed.)

Exactly one year ago I was visiting in Rhodolite and met Miss Bunny.

The fact that we were good friends, if only for a short time, spread everywhere, and politicians deprived of their seats during the purges came for Miss Bunny.

(I knew it would happen back then.)

I drop my sword and walk through the pool of blood.

Gilbert: ...Roderich...Put it all away. It's a purge on the emperor's land.

Roderich: I'll tell Michael....

Gilbert: No need...

One of the agents in Rhodolite is now a regular at Miss Bunny's bookstore.

When "he" was not with Miss Bunny, he was always in charge of escorting the hare and solving any problems that arose.

(But now...)

Gilbert: ...I'm going to Rhodolite.

Roderich: I see. .... This is the first I've heard of it, though.

Gilbert: You're lucky you got to hear it.

Roderich: ........

Gilbert: Here's what I'm going to do...

While I'm gone, you'll look after yourself.

I left, ignoring the assistant, who couldn't find the words.

(I wonder if Miss Bunny is feeling well.)

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

Waiter: Thanks for the wait. It's a birthday cake.

Meeting Miss Bunny for the first time this year, I realized that nothing has changed.

Under the pretext of "finding someone," I drive her around and get an unexpected surprise at the cafe we came to.

(I never thought you would remember my birthday.)

In front of me was a pure white cake decorated with sugar confectionery roses.

Gilbert: ...I knew you were secretly ordering something.

MC: It's your birthday, isn't it?

Gilbert: You remembered.

MC: In many ways I'll never forget it.

(Because I teased/mocked you last year.)

Since I used my birthday as an opportunity to drag Miss Bunny into a cauldron of anger, it should never be a good memory.

Gilbert: ...You never learn, do you?

Gilbert: Just like last year, I could betray you, right?

MC: Then please don't betray me. This cake is a masterpiece, right?

Gilbert: Ahahaha, are you going to use it as a bribe?

MC: That's not what I meant, but... at least let me celebrate your birthday in an honest way.

Gilbert: Hey, I feel sorry for you, partner.

(...As usual, you are so accomplished that I want to vomit...)

(I've exposed her to so much malice in the Court, even if only for a while, and I can't believe that it hasn't changed her at all.)

It's disgustingly rare.

I like her so much that I have to force myself to come and see her in this way.

Gilbert: But I will accept Miss Bunny's good will.

(I'm not going to use the celebration this year.)

I grabbed the fork I had in my hand and held it out to Miss Bunny.

MC: What's that for?

Gilbert: Just wait for "Yum"?

MC: ....I don't like it.

Gilbert: Oh, I have to tell you again, don't I?

(...She's worth the teasing.)

Miss Bunny, who had a frankly suspicious attitude, eventually took a piece of cake with her spoon and put it in my mouth.

(But the amount of harassment is so great that it's almost like being harassed.)

I'm enjoying the sweet taste.

MC: So, how was it?

Gilbert: One more bite.

(Last year, on my birthday, you always seemed to be wary of me, ...but this year, it doesn't seem that way.)

She's shy, worried, but acting/deciding.

(While Miss Bunny was in court, we became friends.)

(...Poor thing.)

With sincere sympathy, I continued to eat the cakes that were brought to me one by one.

Gilbert: I wasn't interested in sweets before, but I tasted them in Rhodolite.

Gilbert: Now I like sweets. It's your fault, isn't it?

MC: ...I'm glad you liked it.

(....Well, I guess it tastes better because you're here.)

When it comes to food, the people you spend time with are more important than the food.

A recent domestic dinner with the aristocracy tasted nothing at all, no matter how much I ate.

(That alone was already worth a visit to Rhodolite.)

(..... Well, I need to hurry up with my original business.)

Even when I was teasing Miss Bunny, my mind was always directed to the street. So I noticed it right away.

(The man I was looking for.... Found.)

Miss Bunny must have noticed it, too, and looked at me puzzledly, as if to ask: "What are you going to do?"

Gilbert: ...If you've finished your meal, let's go somewhere else.

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

Bar.

A man was drinking alone.

MC: He's drinking alone?

Gilbert: Yes....He must be very lonely.

We sit in the blind spot while Miss Bunny drinks juice.

(Although I wanted to enjoy my birthday more.)

Miss Bunny breathes nervously.

She's not supposed to know anything about the circumstances, but she can guess with her keen intuition.

(It's about time for the medicine to kick in... let's get down to business.)

Gilbert: Hey, Miss Bunny. Have you noticed anything unusual around you lately?

Honest Miss Bunny had an answer on her face before she could put it into words.

Gilbert: If you have something to say, then say it.

MC: I think it's just my imagination, but sometimes I feel followed.

MC: On the way home from the bookstore... I turned around and there was no one there.

(It's not much better than third-rate when an amateur can sense your presence.)

Gilbert: Hey, is that a stalker?

MC: ...What do you think?

Gilbert: You really are adorable, aren't you?

MC: What?

Gilbert: Yeah, probably the kind of person who subconsciously puts all men down.

I said it with the utmost sincerity, but the little hare raised an eyebrow and made a difficult face.

(.....Too bad.)

Gilbert: It's okay. I don't think you'll ever feel the gaze again.

MC: Why?.....

MC: ....Oh....

Gilbert: Because you're my only catch/prey.... right?

Miss Bunny's body tilted as if something had broken.

I reached out so she wouldn't hit her forehead and gently lowered her face to the table.

(I bet you'll despise me when you wake up.)

(....Sorry/ Will you forgive me?)

I get up and have a conversation with the guest sitting next to me.

Gilbert: Just keep an eye on her.

Michael: I'll deal with "him..."

Gilbert: I want to do it.

I smiled, grabbing my cane.

As I trudged through the bustle, I put my hand on the shoulder of the "beast," who was drinking alcohol alone behind the counter.

Gilbert: I should let you know who you're trying to get.

When our gazes met, the beast dropped his glass and turned deathly pale.

Gilbert: ....The ex-count?

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

The frightened beast took refuge in a deserted alley, so a "purge " was over quickly.

However, I can't go back to Miss Bunny in dirty clothes, so I go straight to the Court.

I could have stayed in my room, but I unconsciously went to the chapel because.

That's probably why it was unexpected, but I expected it.

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

MC: Prince Gilbert... You are cruel.

When the chapel door opened and a faint light entered, the corners of my lips lifted unconsciously.

Gilbert: Ahaha, sorry?

(You may or may not have come... the odds were 50/50, but did you brave it?)

When I turn around, Miss Bunny raises her eyebrows and looks at me.

MC: Prince Gilbert, why did you put me to sleep?

Gilbert: Of course, because it wasn't convenient.

MC: What do you mean?

MC: Prince... Gilbert...

Fear, as if she suddenly realized something, appeared in her clear eyes.

Gilbert: ...Have you noticed? I changed my clothes properly.

(I'm sure it doesn't smell that bad, ...but maybe I'm just so used to it that I don't notice it.)

MC: What was wrong... with this man?

Gilbert: Some things are better left unsaid.

(You don't need to know anything.)

The fact that Miss Bunny is still haunted by a lot of evil people, she doesn't need to know that I keep eliminating that malice.

(I take advantage of the malice necessary for "judgment," but everything else is just a hindrance.)

Everything I wanted to hide was hidden behind my smile.

Gilbert: I paid you back for your good will, okay?

MC: ...Why did you involved me?

MC: If you were looking for someone, you could have done it alone.

Gilbert: Because it was my birthday.

Even if it sounds stupid, I mean it.

Having had a taste of last year's birthday, the bad guy came again this year.

MC: ...?

Gilbert: I'm here in Rhodolite to run some errands, so my time is limited.

Gilbert: If you didn't accompany me on my errands, I wouldn't be able to spend time with you.

Gilbert: I'm a bad guy. That's why I don't mind choosing to enjoy myself even if it hurts you.

MC: ......

Gilbert: I was waiting to see if you would get in, but I froze.

Gilbert: If that's all there is to it, I think I'll just go.

(I don't think you'll celebrate with me like this.)

Miss Bunny, looking frightened, hurt, and lost in emotion, closed her eyes.

I turned my back on that figure and walked toward the doorway.

(....... I think I was expecting too much, because this might be the last year.)

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

*the sound of a cane on the stone floor*

Every time the sound is heard, Miss Bunny's presence disappears...

...It was destined to happen

Gilbert: What?

I feel heat on my back and stop.

When I turn around, Miss Bunny was clinging to me to stop me.

MC: Even though I told you not to betray me...you really are the worst.

Gilbert: No, I didn't promise not to betray you, did I?

MC: Yes, you did. ...I didn't really believe in it either.

Gilbert: Ahaha, you're smart, aren't you?

MC: Other than that, I'll also say...

MC: Happy Birthday...

(............)

(...Did you hear the voice of my heart?)

"Congratulations" Miss Bunny seeps into my cold body.

Gilbert: You have a heart of steel, don't you?

MC: No, it doesn't. It still hurts so much I feel like I'm going to vomit blood.

Gilbert: And you're celebrating me?

Gilbert: I may have just done as bad a job as you can imagine.

MC: I try to believe... only what I see.

MC: All I saw today was Prince Gilbert, who seemed to enjoy himself from start to finish.

MC: The feeling that you stopped in Rhodolite and wanted to meet me was genuine too, wasn't it?

Gilbert: ......

(Sounds like fun...)

(.....Oh, that's how it looked.)

MC: Even though he's a great villain, that feeling made me happy...

MC: I just wanted to congratulate you.

(You don't know anything about what I'm hiding.)

This is why I don't like beautiful/pure things.

Gilbert: ...In fact, you're so stupid I'm going to be sick.

(I know it's stupid, but ...... I'm glad I came to reach you under a weird pretext.)

For some reason my body seems warmer than usual.

Ms. Bunny was quiet for a moment, and then she opened her mouth, as if making up her mind.

MC: Prince Gilbert..... Who am I to you?

(That's sudden. Did someone say something to you? ....)

(But I can give you that answer in a minute.)

From the "old days" [!!??] to the present, the position of Miss Bunny has not changed.

Gilbert: .....Last hope, perhaps?

(Though the day will never come when you'll know the meaning of that word.)

Gilbert: By the way, by the looks of it, you're going to congratulate me, right?

I turned, slipped out of Miss Bunny's arms, and smiled as usual.

If she was going to celebrate, I wanted to blow off some of the gloom and doom.

Gilbert: How are you going to celebrate this year? Of course, you won't run away, will you...?

MC: Well, we just celebrated...

Gilbert: Birthday's not over yet, okay?

MC: What do you want?

Gilbert: I'm freezing.

When I spread my arms, Miss Bunny was clearly embarrassed.

But I'm not going to back down.

(You're wondering how this could be a birthday present?)

(But...it will.)

I stopped loving people a long time ago.

I don't love anyone now.

Even beasts like me sometimes lack warmth.

Only the brave and good-natured Miss Bunny can embrace the beast that is feared by all and even smells of blood.

(I wouldn't normally ask for this.)

After some hesitation, Miss Bunny frightenedly jumps on my chest.

(......Ah, it's warm.)

(Thank you, Miss Bunny.)

I wonder if the smile I got was a real laugh.

(I'll take good care of it as my "last present"...?)

Gilbert's Masterlist

[blackjackkent]

I guess we should probably go make sure Vanra got safely back to Lora, and check in with Mayrina and Adrielle.

Lora first:

"You brought her back. You brought back my sweet, sweet girl."

"The hag was my problem to deal with."

"It was everything. I'll never forget it. Here - a token from the pirate life I left behind. Thank you, for being braver than half this city put together."

Aw, look at Hec's big SMILE. <3 He loves moments like this where he really feels like he was able to help people.

Lora gave us a neat amulet that gives some wind-related spells and a shiny legendary rapier.

Vanra is basically nonverbal except for the occasional word "MOMMY" and clearly VERY shattered by the whole experience. I don't blame her. But Lora's being very sweet with her, and hopefully she'll be all right in time.

-----

Mayrina's pretty happy about things too.

"She's dead, isn't she? Ethel is dead."

"How did you know?"

"I felt it, I think. It was like a piece of glass had been lodged in my chest and was finally pulled free. And the girl? You saved her, right?"

"Yes, she's traumatized but alive."

"Thank the gods. Ah... they say revenge doesn't fix anything, but damn, does it feel amazing. Thank you."

"It didn't feel so amazing when she was vomiting up a child."

(A/N: This is a bit of a weird line for Hector but the only other available one that didn't involve demanding money was "Killing her felt even better," which was even less Hectorish. XD )

"A living child. That's what matters. Here, call this a small thank you. I look forward to finally being able to sleep with both eyes shut."

She gave us another nice amulet and Hector did another big smile.

We can also overhear her talking to her unborn child as we walk away (which I guess cements the distance between Act 1 and Act 3 as at least less than nine months.)

"You'll be born any day now. I can't wait to meet you. I think I've decided on your name too. It's after the hero who saved us. You're gonna love it."

-----

Karlach nudges Hector gently in the side and smiles. "Hear that, Hec?" she murmurs near his ear. "She's gonna name the kid after you."

He grins sheepishly. "Normally I've said I'm not much interested in being memorialized. But... I think I'll make an exception in this case."

-----

Adrielle is not as effusive, nor as joyous. But she looks at Hector with steady eyes and a straight back.

"Should you ever have need of a cleric of Helm, I shall be there - you have my word."

She's the best. I hope this means she'll help us fight the brain.

[otogariado]

barbie movie was kinda bad to be honest.

if you're super attached and sentimental abt this movie you might not wanna read this bc i don't really pull punches with this one. but here is my first impressions rant lmao. i might come back to it when i've collected my thoughts more and let it stew a little (and maybe see it a second time just by myself at home?)

the way the movie ended was really bad and it left a sour taste in my mouth (📌), but even from just earlier in the movie i already felt like smth was off. and i mean, it's not like i wasn't excited for it even if i tried to avoid a lot of the stuff to not overhype myself (and i usually like going in blind anyway). but even as the movie started i already got the feeling of, oh this is what kind of movie it's gonna be. and for the most part it proves that initial assumption right.

and by "this" i meant like.. a really shallow preachy "feminist" tone. y'know, those kinds of movies/shows that pretend like they're going to say something meaningful about a mature topic but they end up just being shallow and mostly filled with platitudes and such. it's just kinda weird cz i expected more. but it felt like the movie was just using every character as a direct mouthpiece to the audience, and it could still work i guess if they actually had something to say. i think the movie was kind of a mess. i don't know what kind of lesson i was supposed to take away from it at the end, especially when they just start word vomiting at you. at some parts of the movie i wanted to turn my brain off but i still paid attention in case it was gonna pick itself up but like, it really didn't.

i think the rest of the movie was ok. the cinematography was enjoyable still, but the writing was just. so shallow that i couldn't bring myself to fully say i had a blast watching it. it felt like it was more interested in going through a checklist/outline of feminist things to say without being interested in elaborating any of it. it felt like they had too much they wanted to talk about that it just felt scattershot; i feel like it would've had stronger writing if they had just picked a topic to focus on and spent more time with it. they had the chance to explore something more—heck, they had this pretty diverse cast, why exactly did it still need to be focused on "stereotypical barbie" if they really wanted to explore something else? plenty of movies have been successful with an ensemble cast... it wouldn't fix their issue of splitting themselves amongst multiple things they wanted to talk about, but it could help with the focus. maybe have one barbie deal with one topic or throughline then another barbie with another topic, etc. idk. i also found it weird to make a snarky comment about how "if the movie wanted to make a point about barbie not needing to be [conventionally pretty] then they shouldn't have cast margot robbie for this" and like?? you're right lmao. you don't get to be cheeky by saying "guess we were wrong about this one :9 shrug". if they weren't interested in addressing this issue then they shouldn't have just called attention to it in the first place. it just makes it worse. feels like saying "ha! you can't criticize us for this decision because we already did it first."

i also have a problem with the thing near the end of "how about normal barbie? barbie doesn't need to be extraordinary! why can't she just be a regular person?" umm. the point of barbie wasn't to make women feel like they should be extraordinary to be accepted?? the point of barbie is that anyone can BE barbie. you ARE barbie no matter what kind of path you choose. it's kinda like spider-man in a sense that, "anyone can be under the mask." ANYONE can be barbie. i feel like the movie made a strawman out of misconstruing the original intent behind the "empowerment" of barbie. the point of multiple versions of barbie and the different playsets and shit comes from the appeal that she can be ANYTHING you want her to be. who are you fighting against, movie?? that type of misogyny where women should excel otherwise they don't matter certainly exist in the real world but like, i feel like it's a bit disingenuous to pretend it's what the barbie franchise wanted to convey as well. (i am by no means a barbie toyline history expert so i'm open to be corrected on this.)

and the whole... storyline with ken/the kens?? like i get what they're trying to do, have "the boys get a taste of their own medicine", but it's just. It's Just Weird. what did they wanna accomplish with it? i feel like this movie suffers from a shallow understanding of how sexism and misogyny and toxic masculinity actually works... like "oh teehee what if men were the ones oppressed by women instead and women were the ones oppressing men?" but they didn't do anything interesting with it, they just switched sexes and that's it. it's still the same except you just switched the men and women label now. (and the movie has a very black and white view of sex and gender. but that's another point to discuss entirely.)

what makes it worse is that the kens rise to power because they craved more appreciation from the barbies, but then they get knocked down a peg by the barbies and they "lose" like they "deserve". like, what is THIS meant to convey if we try to use it as a parallel for real world feminism, if kens = RL women and barbies = RL men?? that women shouldn't demand to be seen and appreciated more by men and that if they try to take on equal footing and power they should get pushed back down the hierarchy or something??? like WHAT??? and even if you could argue that the kens lost because of their egos/pride/toxic masculinity, it still feels off. because yes, there is a certain "masculine brand" of being too prideful but like. anyone is susceptible to getting too egotistical for their own good. idk??? the way they just handle it is so messy. it's not even like, ambiguous in the "open for interpretation, there are multiple readings of this possible that all try to say something different" kinda way. it's ambiguous in the messy, "we don't know what we wanna say" kind of way.

another thing i wanna talk abt is the teenager character. and the mom character too. i feel like they could've done more with them tbh. they hardly feel like actual characters—the mom got more than her daughter, but the daughter is so stereotypically rebellious "i hate feminine stuff" teenager. so much of this movie feels like telling instead of showing. the mom feels undervalued and depressed and she's struggling. yeah, but so what? we don't actually SEE any of that. even if you can argue that the movie tries to tackle stiff happening IRL so it doesn't need to show any of that any more, that's just bull. you still have to establish the setting in your movie's universe and you still have to do actual character work for your characters even if they're meant to represent real people. ESPECIALLY if they're meant to represent real people. like yeah, we do get some flashbacks of her daughter not appreciating her near the start, but that's it. they're just flashes. and that wasn't her only problem that she mentioned. why didn't we have the mom try to pitch ideas to the executives early on, have that be her introduction scene? have the executives belittle her ideas bc they're misogynistic chauvinist asses? like yeah, from context clues of the whole boardroom being men we can see the irony there and we can tell they don't value women enough to give them positions that high up the ladder. but still, implying the lack of something is not as good as actually demonstrating the lack of something. i feel like it wouldn't have been that hard to include at least one scene of the mom pitching her ideas, and then cut to her scribbling sadly on the desk like she was when she was introduced cz they didn't listen to her.

the sentiment of "they hardly feel like actual characters" extends to the rest of the cast, too. like, i wouldn't expect something substantial and be disappointed if they weren't marketing themselves like "all barbies are important :) this is an ensemble movie :)" like no... not really. none of the other characters matter that much and they didn't get a lot of actual distinguishing features aside from their actual job titles. which just feels reductive lmao. maybe that's the point. maybe they're all just meant to be bit characters. but it just adds to the shallowness of the movie i feel like. just bc the point is they're bit characters doesn't give it a free pass for not going anywhere w any of them. i saw someone say they felt like all the other barbies and kens were mostly just there as set dressing and you know what? that's undeniably true. which AGAIN i maybe wouldn't have as much of a problem with if it weren't for how they marketed this movie.

the previous paragraph also ties into what i mentioned earlier abt the quip they had abt casting margot robbie (and by extension, ryan gosling) as the lead(s). like... why did the lead HAVE to be the "stereotypical barbie"? why did the white, blonde, presumably cishet* barbie (and ken) HAVE to be the leads? hell, the mom and daughter characters are women of color and they don't even do anything with them (aside from some jokes abt how the white dad sucks and is very inconsequential?). i'm just saying... it feels like the diversity casting (not just when it comes to being people of color but also in other areas, like having a barbie in a wheelchair and a pregnant "barbie" (even though she's not barbie) and whatnot) of the other barbies and kens was just that. Token Diversity. fodder for The Typical White Leads. idk. i'll say this again but if they didn't advertise themselves the way they did with all those barbie and ken posters making it sound like they were actually gonna give a shit about any of the other colorful cast of characters then maybe i wouldn't be this harsh with them. this didn't feel like an ensemble movie to me at all.

*(bc i don't think this movie was made with any genuine queer intentions behind it lmao. and ik people latch onto the aroace "coding" of the characters and like. if you're aroace and you like it then power to you. but i think this is more of a "technicality"/"by semantics" type of """coding""" so i honestly don't think it counts, speaking as someone who's some flavour of aroace)

idk i feel like I'M word vomiting now too. maybe i'm picking on this movie too much. but tbh it's just. eh. it just feels shallow. it's a shallow nothing movie tbh. it just feels like a movie filled with quips without any interest in exploring any of the topics they bring up. i wanna list specific examples but tbh it's hard to remember them because of just how overloaded it is, like they just keep shooting talking points at you but there's no meat to any of them. i wouldn't be this harsh on this movie if it didn't hype itself up so much. like, i WANTED to like it coming it. i WAS excited for it ever since it was announced, even though i wasn't a super fan and wasn't buzzing about it as much as most people were online. because it had a lot of potential behind it, but it ended up just. being a mess.

📌 i think it's funny that the ending (as in the last scene of the movie) left most people confused, but the most interesting thing abt it is the takeaway i got from my cis mlm cousin where he's like, "oh barbie chose to be a mother at the end and she's pregnant and that's why she ended up at the gynecologist". like. I Guess??? that can be your take??? but it's a weird scene to end your movie on.

like idk what i'm supposed to feel about it. she's a real human now because she has genitalia?? the genitalia was the last crowning step for her to achieve the "human" status? that's kind of reductive. she's a real woman now because she has a vagina?? that's just straight up transphobic. like. what am i supposed to get as my takeaway here with the last scene??

[wilsons-three-legged-siamese]

TUMBLR SPOKE SO HERE IT GOES:

my short, short drabbles of where I spun a wheel for a ship, took a lyric from the song I was listening to and based it off of that.. 😙✌

Don't let this flop. This was HELL to edit and took like two hours. JUST EDITING.

Warnings: transgender pregnancy (only two) & suicide

Also no Cameron, because I forgot he existed when making this-

I bet you think I'm boring.

Microwave - Ricky Jamaraz

Todd x Meeks

"... Then you plug it in and Tah-Dahh!! " Meeks exclaimed, proudly showing off his new invention.

"Wow, that's incredible, " Todd replied, looking into Meeks' eyes.

Meeks paused, "you probably think I'm boring. "

He looked down, all of a sudden, meek. Todd's face plummeted.

"Hey! Of course I don't think you're boring, Meeks, you're extraordinary, you're so smart, " Todd reassured, moving closer to Meeks and hugging his shoulders.

"You think so? "

"Of course I do. " Todd kissed Meeks lightly on the nose.

Delta Echo Alpha Delta. Suicide!

Lifetime Achievement Award - Lemon Demon

Todd x Charlie

It hurt. Of course it hurt, his best friend had killed himself without warning. But it hurt more than ever. More than anything had ever hurt. Thankfully he hasn't got to go through this alone. He had Todd. Though, he was being expelled for punching Cameron. He shouldn't have done that. Really shouldn't.

Now he was sat. Todd sitting on his lap sideways and his face dug in his chest - sobbing. He shushed Todd gently, drawing circles on his back and kissing his dirty blonde hair.

He can't just leave Todd.

Sorry I didn't kiss you, But it's obvious I wanted to.

Bubblegum - Clairo

Knox x Neil

"Knox? " Neil asked, trying to snap Knox out of his long lasting trance.

"Wha- huh? Oh. Hi Neil, " Knox stammered, immediately blushing a little.

"You okay, Knoxious? " Neil leaned in a bit closer, placing his hands on the others knees.

Knox felt the heat build up on his face and neck, "yeah, sorry, some assignment. "

"I can help? " Neil offered.

"That would be great, thanks Neil, " Knox chuckled.

Then, Neil leaned in a bit closer, Knox followed with the same movement, then pulled back, "I'm sorry. "

He got up and walked out the common room, hiding his red face, "I fucked that up. "

Looking at the stars (admiring from afar).

We fell in Love in October - girl in red

Charlie x Meeks

He kept glancing at him. Okay, yes he was helping him with Latin but the way his mouth perfected each Latin phrase and word was immaculate. The freckles on his face uncountable. His glasses as thick as cream. His lips as plump as a marshmallow. He was a perfect human being. He admired him like a star, his freckles like stars almost. God, how he wished he could have him.

Love is an open door.

Love is an Open Door - Frozen

Neil x Charlie

"Hey Charlie? " Neil called, "can you help me unpack a little? "

"Of course, whatcha need? "

"Neil! This trig is making me about to vomit! " Charlie yelled across the hall.

"Fine."

"Char! I think I'm about to have a panic attack, " Neil blurted put, looking hurriedly to the open door across the hall.

"Oh Nell, I'm coming! "

"Hey Nell? What does 'te amo' mean?! " Charlie shouted.

"I love you! "

"'Night Char! I love you! " Neil smiled.

"Te Amo! "

Cute guy, nice face, wrong time, wrong place.

Trees II - McCafferty

Knox x Meeks

Meeks stared into Knox's eyes, his mouth agape. Knox waited impatiently for Meeks' answer. The anticipation stressed Meeks out immediately. He gradually got the courage to grasp Knox's hands and smile sadly.

"Knox, look- " he paused for a little- "I love you, I really do. You're a cute guy, you have a nice face, just.. It's the wrong time and wrong place. It's 1959 in an all-boys school, we're both 16... I'm sorry, Knox. "

Knox looked down and begun to cry softly. Meeks hugged him, regretting everything that just happened.

I guess I knew this would happen to you.

What Once Was - Her's

Neil x Meeks

Neil sat sadly as a diner, swirling his coke around mindlessly and starring at a wall.

"Neil? Is that you? " A voice called.

Neil looked up immediately, his eyes shone quickly.

"Meeks? " He questioned, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Neil! " Meeks smiled brightly, standing Neil up and wrapping him up in a hug.

Neil accepted, hugging him back and digging his face into the shorter man's neck.

'He smells great... And he's very muscular. ' Neil thought.

"Wow, Neil, you don't have anything on you, do you honey? " Meeks pointed out, looking forlorn.

"Yeah, " Neil chuckled awkwardly, "you're very muscular, I always thought you were the weakling? "

"Mhm, times change, I guess. " Meeks scratched his neck.

"I always knew you'd do well, and be well. I guess I always knew it would happen to you. "

Sweet like pancakes and syrup.

Like What - Joey Valence & Brae

Todd x Meeks

"Something smells nice, " Todd muttered lazily, shuffling into the kitchen.

"I'm cooking breakfast, " Meeks replied, smiling as he flipped a pancake perfectly.

Todd lit up and he hugged Meeks from behind, his arms around the others waist.

"You're as sweet as this breakfast. "

"I know I am, Meeksie. "

In my life, I hope that I lie.

No Children - The Mountain Goats

Knox x Charlie

"You're seeing Chris, aren't you? " Charlie snarled, his eyes full of fury.

"What do you mean, Char? " Knox's eyebrows furrowed.

Charlie sighed angrily, squeezing the bridge of his nose with his index finger and his thumb. He then crossed his arms.

"Don't act like I haven't seen you, it's so obvious, Knox! Don't lie, " Charlie growled.

"I- Char... Please, I haven't. "

"Leave, go to your dorm and pathetic Chris. "

'Cause I like it, yeah, I like it.

LIKE IT - Waterparks

Todd x Charlie

Charlie nibbled at Todd's neck, his hands roaming Todd's back under the knitted, wool sweater. Todd bit his lip, pulling Charlie closer by his hips.

"You're desperate, aren't 'ya Hot Toddy? "

"I like it. "

I can tell just what you want (you don't want to be alone)

What You Know - Two Door Cinema Club

Meeks x Charlie

He sat, scribbling down some trig. This wasn't out of the ordinary, he was always studying, or helping a friend. He overworked himself, sure, but it didn't bother him.

Oh god, did it bother Charlie.

"Come on, Meeks! Have some fun, " Charlie exclaimed, sprawling himself out of Meek's bed next to him.

"Go away Charlie, I'm trying to study. " Meeks shot him a look.

"I know what you want, you don't what to be alone. " Charlie smirked, crawled closer and swiped his finger across Meeks' freckled nose.

Meeks blushed, "fine.. "

Two Kids and a Golden Retriever.

History Hates Lovers - Oublaire

And so it was official, Knox and Meeks were a thing. It was a cute, they were very lovey dovey, much to Charlie's delight. But now almost, the Dead Poets had come more of a family dynamic. Knox and Meeks, parents. Todd and Neil the kids. Charlie the golden retriever. Much like a family dynamic, it was cute. Oh, Pitts was the uncle, Meeks' best friend.

Knox x Meeks

He was sweet, he said I was smart.

Kindergarten Boyfriend - Heather's

Meeks x Pitts

"You're smart, Meeksie. "

His heart fluttered and his face flushed a shade of pink. Pitts was the perfect boy for Meeks. Tall, scrawny, caring, empathetic, sarcastic and everything in between. He was sweet. It was everything Meeks could've ever dreamed, honestly.

"Thanks Pittsie, you're sweet. "

Pitts' heart skipped a beat as his neck heated up. Meeks was perfect for Pitts. Short, secretly muscular, caring, empathetic, sarcastic and everything in between. He was smart. It was everything Pitts could've ever dreamed, honestly.

We both enjoy an empty cafe.

We both - 36 questions, Jonathan Groff & Jessie Shelton

Neil x Pitts (kinda platonic)

"Huh, it's empty. Is it open? " Pitts asked, looking down beside him to the shorter boy.

"Yeah, it said open on the door.. Maybe it's not that busy on Sundays? " Neil replied, scanning the room to see nobody but an exhausted waiter.

They walked to a booth and sat across from each other. They both ordered a coffee and begun to chat about school while absentmindedly holding each other's hands. The waiter secretly smiled and giggled at them, definitely aware they didn't know they were holding hands and were dangerously close. It was cute.

They happen to go to the same cafe a few times after, making friends with the waiter who went to Welton also, Stefan, or Stick.

Us two wanted to get X-rated. SMUT!

Don't Lose Ur Head - SIX, Christina Modestou

Knox x Charlie

"Jesus Knox! You're as hard as the fucking Burj Khalifa! " Charlie grunted as Knox grinded against him.

"Char.. That literally makes no sense at all, " Knox chuckled as he sloppily kissed Charlie's neck.

Charlie moaned quietly, gripping harshly onto Knox's hips as his own almost buckled.

"Nothing makes sense when we're both as hard as the shard.. It's gonna make me turn British in a moment, Jesus Christ Knoxio! "

"You're better than that, Char. "

Knox pushed Charlie harder against the dorm wall, earning another moan from Charlie

"GODDAMN!! LOCK THE DOOR! " Cameron screeched, slamming the door and running off.

But I don't need the comfort of any lies.

Notion - The Rare Occasions

House x Wilson

"How many times did I tell you she was gonna divorce you in under 2 years? " House remarked, a smirk upon his face as he swirled the liquor around in the glass.

"A lot.. But I really thought she was the one! " Wilson exclaimed, taking a swig of his glass.

"You've said that about 3/3 divorces now. "

"Like you've ever been married.. "

"Wilson, we're technically married at this point. "

"Fair point. "

They sat in silence for a bit. Drinking recklessly.

"I've always appreciated your harsh truth. " Wilson smiled.

"You're just special, aren't you? "

"Sure, I guess you can say that. "

Can I sleep in your bed?

Father - The Front Bottoms

Meeks x Todd

Todd panicked silently, his hands trembling slightly and his breathing hitched. Meeks sat behind him at his desk, scribbling down trig at the ungodly hour of 3 AM. it was clear he was exhausted, though he also panicked that he'd fail the trigonometry test two weeks away and needed to study. Todd didn't understand why he was so nervous to ask, he knew he'd say yes. But what if he didn't? What if he thought it was weird at 16-17. He took a deep breath.

"Canisleepinyourbed? " He spluttered out, taking a big deep breath afterward.

"What did you say Todd? " Meeks asked, his eye brows knitting and him cocking his head slightly.

Todd breathed in shakily, "can- can I sleep in your bed? "

"Of course Todd, of course you can. "

He's well dressed (not funny).

Girls & Boys - Good Charlotte

Meeks x Knox

"Whatcha' think? " Meeks asked, stepping out his dorm and into the hallway to be met with Charlie and Knox.

Knox turned red almost immediately, Meeks looked immaculate. Charlie started to laugh.

"You're going to the shops dressed like that? You trying to look like a 60 year old? " Charlie chuckled.

"I- I think he looks nice actually. "

"Of course, because you definitely like him. "

"I do not! "

Has been rough (kinky!). Slight smut!

Sincerely, me - Ben Platt, Mike Faist, Will Roland

Meeks x Charlie

Roughhousing in the dorms was normal, especially for Meeks and Charlie. Meeks usually minded his own business while Charlie swiftly swooped Meeks off of his feet, pinned him to the floor and kissed him.

"God, you're so rough aren't you? " Meeks rolled his eyes, still under Charlie ok the floor.

"It's kinky. "

I could sleep for weeks.

RITUAL - Waterparks

Todd x Neil x Charlie

It was normal now, Cameron was used to having no dormmate most nights. And Neil and Todd were used to having an extra most nights. Non of them minded, if anything they preferred it to normal.

It was an adorable scene. Three teenage, in love boys squished in a single bed in a strict all-boys boarding school. Todd was hugged by Neil who was hugged by Charlie. Neil wrapped his arms around Todd's waist and his face dug into his hair. Charlie spooned Neil, his one arm around his waist and other under his own head, his legs wrapped around the others.

"I could sleep for weeks... " Charlie whispered, then felt Neil smile.

Use the sleeves of my sweater.

Sweater Weather - The Neighborhood

Knox x Charlie

"I just can't do it! " Charlie shouted, hurling his pencil to the wall and harshly getting up.

He then threw himself on his bed and curled up against the wall and begun to cry, purely from frustration.

"Hey, hey. Char, you can, " Knox comforted, getting up and sitting next to Charlie.

Charlie bawled, his face pushed firmly into his arms and knees.

"No.. Knoxious, you don't understand, I really can't do it! I'm gonna fail so bad oh god... " He whispered, rocking back a forward and little and now begining to hyperventilate.

"Woah, woah Char. " Knox wrapped his arms around Charlie, "you're not gonna fail. "

Charlie lifted his head to look at Knox's tearful eyes. Knox brought his hand up with Charlie's cheeks and dabbed the tears away with the sleeve of his soft, knitted sweater.

"You think so? "

"Of course, Char. "

Three times I nearly came to ruin. Suicide!

Our Word - 36 Questions & Jessica Shelton

Todd x Charlie

1.

Todd held the gun in his clearly trembling hands. Sobbing fiercely. He placed his finger on the trigger but did nothing. He waited, almost for someone to save him. That happened.

"Todd? What are you doing? OUT THE GUN DOWN TODD! " Charlie screamed.

2.

Charlie popped out the 10 pills from their silver foil wrapping. He rolled them around in his hand. As if he were contemplating. Yet he was, though, oh so how he wanted to do it and get it over with. He didn't cry. Until after the tried incident.

"Charlie. Put the pills down, " Todd snarled, his voice becoming unusually deep.

3.

Todd held the rope in his hands, yet not trembling this time. He stared at the thinner ropes tangled together to make a bigger one. He decided to tie it up on a tree, make a loop big enough for his head just to fit in it. He slipped his head in it, tighted it and stepped off of the log.

"Jesus Todd! " Charlie shouted, catching Todd in his arms, both now crying.

You're sayin' all the words I'm dreamin'.

The Adults Are Talking - The Strokes

Charlie x Meeks

'I love you' were the words Charlie wanted to hear. Maybe from his parents, older brother, Neil, Pitts- hell, anyone. Though, there was a lurking feeling that somehow overruled the ordinary. He wanted to hear it from Meeks. The perfect boy, the nerd, the geek, yet the romantic. Charlie wanted to hear him sing it, mumble it, growl it, just say it. He wanted to hear it so bad.

So many missed chances and nothing happened.

Though it happened today.

"Oh, I love you, Charlie! " Meeks exclaimed.

You'll always be a dumb blonde.

Blue Hair - TV Girl

Meeks x Todd

"I can't do it, Meeks, " Todd muttered, rolling his pencil on his notebook and covering his eyes with the palms of his hands.

"Well, you need to do it, or you'll fail, " Meeks deadpanned.

"I-I know, I just can't! The words don't flow nicely, and- and the stanzas are all uneven! " Todd exclaimed.

"Well you're just a dumb blonde, you wouldn't get it, " Meeks chuckled.

He woke up in a cold sweat, breathing heavily. He sat up sharply.

"Are you okay? " Meeks groaned, sitting up next to Todd.

"I-I just had a nightmare, " Todd muttered, rubbing his eyes.

"You sure you're okay, Honey? "

"Yeah- yeah. "

Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door HEAVY SMUT!

I Write Sins Not Tragedies - Panic! At The Disco

Charlie x Knox

Charlie moaned deeply as he gripped onto Knox's brunette hair, guiding his mouth to bob his head up and down. Knox hummed, trying not to gag. He gripped the base, gently stroking it. Charlie shuddered.

"WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME?! " Cameron shouted, covering his eyes and slamming the door.

The two boys giggled.

Just sit and talk.

The Me Inside of Me - Heather's

Pitts x Neil (platonic)

Neil perched on Pitts' bed, leaning his back against the wall and snuggling up to Pitts. He swung his arm over Neil's shoulders and looked at him with a tint of concern.

"You okay, Neil? " He asked, cocking his head a little.

"Yeah, just been a little overwhelmed with work lately, " Neil sighed and placed his head on Pitts' shoulder.

"Yeah, I get it. "

"Any advice? "

"Eat, drink, sleep and take a break, " Pitts chuckled.

"Yeah, yeah. I will do that. " Neil smiled.

I will change my ways. Trans pregnancy!

The Cave - Mumford & Sons

House x Wilson

"Are you sure you want this, House? " Wilson asked, his eyes quickly becoming glassy.

House sighed happily and giggled softly. He grasped both of Wilsons hands and smiled as he looked him in the eyes.

"Of course I want this, Honey. I promise, I really do want this. I want to grow old with you, with our kids, " House replied.

"Really? "

"Of course. "

House's hands trailed down to Wilsons presently flat stomach, gently placing his hands upon the dress shirt. Wilson chuckled, pulling House into his embrace.

"I'll change, I promise. "

"You can stay the same, I love you for who you are. "

My baby, My baby.. Suicide!!

I Bet on Losing Dogs - Mitski

Meeks x Charlie

Meeks held the knife to his throat. Threatening to end it all, a nice big slit through the middle, collapse, bleed out and die. Right on the dirty, old dormroom floor. Perfect way to go for pity. But, he doesn't quite want pity. He wants acceptance and comfort, not pity. Pity meant sympathy and empathy, he hated that as that was his job, nobody needed to worry about him. No, he was fine, he has a great life - from their knowledge - and is incredibly intelligent.

"Meeks, stop, " Charlie's voice yelled.

Meeks immediately dropped the knife and fell to his knees.

Charlie dropped down next to him and embraced the shaking huddle.

"Shhh.. Shh, " he whispered, "my baby, my baby, it's okay, shhh. "

Meeks melted into the embrace, sobbing uncontrollably and hiding his face in Charlie's chest.

Oh god, he blew it.

Return to our normal lives.

Looking Out for You - Joy Again

Meeks x Pitts (platonic)

"You okay, Meeksie? " Pitts asked, eyeing the smaller boy up and down.

"Yeah, just a little cold y'know? " Meeks replied, chuckling softly as his teeth chattered and he shivered.

"Is it because they took your coat? " Pitts gestured to Meeks' now cold, damp coat on the cave floor with crumbs on it.

"A little, but I'll be fine. " Meeks smiled and rubbed his hands together desperately.

With a swift motion, Pitts removed his coat and placed it on Meeks' trembling shoulders.

"Better? "

"Thanks, Pittsie. "

"Here's your coat, as he have to go back to out normal lives, " Meeks giggled.

"Yeah, thanks. It's a shame, isn't it? "

"Yeah, yeah- it really is. "

Meet my pregnant boyfriend. (Pt.2 to I will change my ways) trans pregnancy!

Lone Star - The Front Bottoms

House x Wilson

"Ducklings! I have some spectacular news on the physical toll on your other dad, " House declared, swinging his bag on the chair as Wilson trailed behind him.

The three gave a confused look, all seeming to cock their heads in the same direction.

"Other dad? " Foreman spoke up.

"Yes! Remember, dad H and dad W? " House replied, matter-of-factly.

Wilson rolled his eyes and sighed, "he still hasn't told you? "

"No, what's happening? " Cameron questioned.

"I can't believe you haven't told them. " Wilson shook his head at House, "me and House are married, have been for over a decade now. "

"I'm sorry, what? " Chase's mouth opened agape.

"Ducklings, are you familiar with the term: 'transgender'? " House asked innocently.

The three nodded their heads slowly.

"Well, my husband here happens to be that. And addition to that information, we're having a kid, " House explained, smiling proudly as he hobbled behind Wilson and placed his hands on Wilsons 3 month-swollen stomach from behind.

Wilson sighed.

"Congratulations, you two. "

"Congrats."

"I was not expecting that. "

Love is a doing word.

Teardrop - Massive Attack (House intro)

House x Wilson (again)

"I'm not physical, " House declares, plopping himself down next to Wilson on the couch.

"I know, isn't it quite obvious by now? " Wilson retorts back, shooting House a glance.

"Well I hope so. "

House looks down and twiddles his thumbs. Oh, how he secretly longed for Wilsons soft, gentle, chaste touch. They were married, he's experienced it, but oh how he wanted more.

"You know, love is a doing word, " Wilson suddenly explains, looking over at House with an unreadable expression.

"Oh, is it now? " House remarks with a snort.

"Yeah." Wilson reaches for House's hand, gently grasping it. "Like it? "

"Yeah.. I do. "

There's darkness all around.

Messages from the Stars - The Rah Band.

Meeks x Charlie

It was their first night in their new, shared apartment. They slept together, huddled on an old, cheap double mattress on the floor, taking in the atmosphere. It was dark all around them. Meeks hugged close, his head rested on Charlie's chest, intertwining their hands and smiling. It was nice to have their own place.

"I love you, Meeksie. "

"Love you too, Char. "

You are sweetness.

We'll Never Have Sex - Leith Ross

Todd x Meeks

"I love you Todd, " Meeks said as he kissed Todd.

"Awh, I love you too. " Todd smiled into the kiss.

They kissed for a while. Chaste, passionate, slow kisses. No greed or hunger, just acceptance and pleasure. It was a nice.

"Your lips are so sweet, " Meeks muttered.

"I ate some ice cream before this, " Todd giggled.

"Nah, they're sweet anyway. "

Wondering if your hearts still open.

Do I Wanna Know? - Arctic Monkeys

Neil x Charlie

Neil had recently been dumped by his now ex-girlfriend and acted as if it was indeed the end of the world. Charlie half wanted to be supportive, half wanted to tell him to stop being melodramatic and half ask him out. Charlie had liked Neil for years, from age 7 to age 15, aka, now. Charlie chose to comfort Neil, yet he really, really wanted to ask him out.

"I don't understand! She really liked me, " Neil muttered.

"Yeah, sorry bud. "

They sat in silence for a little longer until Charlie went out on a limb.

"Is your heart still open? " he asked.

"Wha-? "

"Will you go out with me? "

Hey little boy, gee, you sure look fine.

Hey Little Girl - Professor Longhair

Knox x Charlie

"Is that your way of cat calling? " Charlie questioned, furrowing his eyebrows in a concerned matter.

"Yeah, what's up with it? " Knox asked.

"It's horrendous, that's basically sexual harassment at this point, " Charlie chuckled.

"Whoops."

"It's more than whoops! Here, let me show you how to flirt. "

Charlie stepped away.

He approached Knox with a smile on his face, "hey, beauty. "

Knox blushed, "hi."

Charlie grabbed Knox by the hips and immediately kissed him. Knox kissed back, turning as red as blood. Charlie's hands made their way down to Knox's arse, placing his hands in the pockets, snagging his wallet and bolting off.

"Charlie! " Knox sighed, accepting his wallet was just stolen, and there wasn't anything he could do.

Pain is never Permanent.

December - Neck Deep

Neil x Meeks (oooh new one)

Meeks walked into Neil and Todd's dorm, scanning the room to see Neil curled up on his bed, trembling a little.

"Hey, hey. It's alright, " Meeks comforted, quickly sliding next to him and wrapping his arms around the frame.

Neil recognized the voice and nuzzled into him, sobbing harder.

Once Neil had calmed a little, he looked up to see Meeks. Meeks cupped his face with his one hand, stroking his cheek gently with his thumb.

"Pains never permanent, you know that right? "

Watch a sad film with your boyfriend.

If I Saw Him, I'd Still Kiss Him - McCafferty

Meeks x Todd

"He could've definitely fit! " Meeks exclaimed, tossing the remote to his side while tears streamed down his face.

"I know honey, but it would've tipped, " Todd explained, hugging Meeks close.

"Why did you make me watch this? " Meeks asked.

"It's a classic film. "

"It was traumatising! "

"Fair point. "

[wildcardstarters]

Guess What Cartoon Character Julia Is Drawing, I Dare You pt. 2

Taken from Drawfee's episode of the same name !! Pronouns, punctuation, and wording can be changed as needed. Part one can be found here !!

TW: emetophobia / v*mit mention, death mention

" This is nothing! " " I feel like I'm getting a headache... " " Wait, I can fix this, I can fix this. " " How is that fixing it?! " " He's getting angrier. " " _____, you didn't change anything!! _____, it's the same!! " " Do you realize that?! " " I can't look at this muppet guy! I can't look at him! " " Okay, I'll give some clues. " " Is this...a friend? " " You must know, the room is in shambles. " " Riots are breaking out in the streets. " " I'm gonna vomit. You're gonna make me vomit. " " Are you the father? " " Y'all remember that cartoon where everyone has the same face and they just stare directly at you? " " NO, IT'S NOT!! IT'S NOT!! NO!! " " It can't be him! " " It's okay, Dad. " " IT'S NOT OKAY, DAD!! " " Why is ____ like... dilf-y? " " Put that away, I'm gonna get the spray bottle. " " It's not, though. It really isn't. " " You can't tell me that's not _____! " " I can and I will. " " It's within my legal rights! " " You need to know that it's not, you have to know. " " You couldn't be further. " " Are we done? " " I can do some more. " " I don't see why we would do anymore. " " I could stand more. " " I could stand more but also, I'm the only one who didn't physically recoil yet. " " ______ isn't here anymore. Not the same _____ we knew before, at least. " " What is that?! What are those?! " " Why does he have the proportions of a newborn monkey? " " Are you scared? " " Alright, do a couple more, give us some cool-downs. " " I'm legitimately sweating. " " We can't leave people with this energy, it's gonna ruin their day. " " We need to do the full Hero's Journey. Rising action, falling action, etcetera. " " This is my favorite bumper sticker character, Piss Mouse. " " You're so skilled, and yet... " " That's all the pigs I knew... " " It's good, it's endearing. " " I'm just never gonna be able to get _____ out of my mind. " " _______ is kind of shaped like a hair dryer. " " I'm gonna be honest- " " I'm gonna be honest, I don't know if I could draw ______ from memory. " " We all have such unique strengths that the others don't. " " American cartoons are weird... " " That means nothing. " " Just ____ but smaller. " " Just why? " " When did this become your default? " " He looks very kind. " " He's a small, jealous man. " " He's a weak, pathetic little man. " " If something needs to be physically assembled, I can remember what it looks like. " " Okay, let's get one more. " " Bring 'em home! " " Finish us out strong. " " Then we're all going to sleep. " " I close my eyes and I see _______. " " You got it. " " It's the most exhausting thing we do. " " So help me, god- " " ______, I'm getting the spray bottle... " " We look at her at least five times a day. " " Make them kiss! " " How come _____ looks so young? " " ______'s been taking care of himself, but it didn't make him as happy as he thought it would. " " Sweaty, it's called a mid-life crisis. " " You have a beautiful family. " " I don't like when they all start to scream at me. " " You went a little crazy but we'll accept it. " " Why is she here?! " " It's really nice that you take the time to do this for us. " " This is what you see when you die. " " The most true thing of all is that we're sorry. " " Sorry! "

[throneofblood-if]

Broadmeadow anon here! I wasn't trying to create more work for you or really expecting much, just.. sharing my headcanons. My brain keeps spinning when it comes to development and administration of a territory and how the raise it effectively.. it's just kinda my thing. I have even more going through my headcinema at times. If anything I figured you might include an option to put the word out that there's a safe space for witches, so that any that are around can have a goal to flee towards. Maybe as a basis for a future mage tower, who would totally be it's own power among the countries.....and you see my brain running away with it again. I'm still curious how Kasin or El would go through the ritual, but both are kinda maniacs in their own way, so if you consider MC their newest hyper fixation they might just get through it ok. Or maybe we will be able to fine tune and adjust the ritual? I mean MC has been living for almost 1000 years now, they can't have spend all that time hiding and shivering. There's bound to be something they were good at, like studying magical theory or reading up on history or ...well anything really that they would be DOING the whole day, since combat and magic practice were appparently out. Maybe knitting? Board games? The way they keep asking for basic information and going through basic training just makes them seem really young, but they HAVE lived for 900+ years and at least 300 with Zero and Dai protecting them well enough that they had opportunity for spending time however they wanted to. SO. I guess all that word vomit is just leading up to me asking, How did MC spend their life so far? What are their talents? What did they DO each day in and out, since they barely sneaked out and didn't train fighting or magic and weren't involved in demon realm business??? With much adoration and apology for dumping all my extra feelings and thoughts about this story on you yet again..

Haha, no it's fine! I love to see these thoughts and brainworms, it's flattering! I'm taking a break right now but I'll definitely go back to this again later.

Kasin and Misery have plenty of reason, I believe. Kasin's really keen to help out the dragons and would do anything for that end. He was already down to dedicate the rest of his life for it, and if a bit of pain means he has 1000x as long, then he'll probably take it. Misery also has her own reasons, of course!

As for what MC did, I'm just gonna leave it vague so people can just come up with their own things :)

Thank you! This was entertaining to read :)

[furiousgoldfish]

Hi - isolated anon again.

What you said about cults really surprised me, but I realized that it did apply to some degree. I've always felt a lot of relatability to cult survivors, even though I never considered myself to be one and I never understood why.

I spent a while on the internet last night and learned about something called narcassitic family dysfuntion, which is when the family dysfuntion works like a cult around the narcassitic person, typically the parent.

Like it's not a cult in the traditional sense, but the same effects of a cult happen - the isolation, manipulation, self worth issues, the world revolving around the narcassit who can do no wrong, etc.

https://www.scapegoatrecovery.com/2022/08/05/10-rules-of-families-that-scapegoat/

^ here's an article I found that summarizes pretty much what all the others did really well. I'd never heard of this type of abuse before and I was really surprising.

You are right that Im an adult, 19, and for as long as I can remember my mom always says something like "oh it's not safe out there" when I ask to go somewhere by myself, or "I would feel more comfortable if I knew where you were going/ if you didn't go" and Im not allowed to go out at night, as, being female, Im apparently going to get kidnapped/assaulted. (Even though we live somewhere really safe) (and, honestly, getting kidnapped seems like a relief). Because all the isolation was framed for my safety, I never questioned it until I got older and I really started to feel the pull of wanting to Leave. My mom still uses that same excuse. That it's for safety that she needs to know where I am all the time and I have to text her any time I go somewhere to let her know I made it/when Im going home.

I tried to talk to my therapist about the isolation and how much it bothered me, but they just told me to push harder against my mom and like. That's not how this works. I cannot win one of these arguments. Like I never have. ever. It's so hard to describe just how all consuming this is. My mom always pulls out the guilt treatment when I want to go out and I feel like Rapunzel. I know it's not normal and I hate it. But it feels like the most mild thing that's going on at home. And to be clear, I can go outside onto the property, in the backyard, whenever, but that's kind of it. Also I didn't realize that being able to go anywhere whenever is a human right. That's.... Ah.

I apologize for this word vomit, I guess I'm just trying to process this in your ask box.

I guess I was also wondering if soon, if it's okay, you'd be willing to make a post about enmeshed families? I would find that really helpful.

Also - was it you who made the post about how to identify if you're being held captive by your parents, or was that someone else, I can't remember.

Thank you for answering my ask. It was really helpful. I do really sincerly hope you have a good day, but thank you for being willing to talk with us about abuse today. I always really appreciate your thoughts.

"and, honestly, getting kidnapped seems like a relief" THAT is relatable but also a red flag, so many kids feel this, being kidnapped would be something that is provable and generally accepted as a 'very bad thing to happen to you', and it would be a huge relief just to be able to point out the cause of your suffering, opposed to the abuse you're going thru right now, that feels invisible, unprovable.

Abusive parents love acting like letting their children out of the house is 'unsafe', but what it does is simply keep children imprisoned (or even adults, in your case). The way we keep protected in this world is not by staying in forever, because that's not a decent human life, and it's inhumane. We deal with this by teaching the kids how to recognize, identify and deal with the danger. Being female in public is not a problem if you are surrounded with a community of your own, if you have a network of people that you can, at anytime, ask for help, who can get you out of sticky situations, who can watch out for your back.

Generally what most people do is just make sure that their kids can recognize and sus out dangerous people, there are guidelines and rules set in place; you don't go alone in an alley with a person you don't know, if someone gives you a bad vibe, you go and hang around your friends where you are safe, you go home before it's late and people get drunk/violent, if necessary and if you visit very unsafe places, you could even be taught to use a weapon or self-defence, in order to keep safe.

And these rules are usually only necessary at night, at locations where predators are more likely to be, at bars, places people generally get drunk or try to get you drunk. You are hardly in danger going to the convenience store, to the bank, to the beach, to a tourist attraction, to any public place in general. You are unlikely to be kidnapped unless someone would have a great financial incentive to kidnap you at this point (if your parents were so rich they could give out a ransom), and if you're taught to recognize the signs of human trafficking and just be reasonably and rightfully wary of strangers and not give them your information or details, you'd generally be safe.

I've never been in anywhere close as much danger in public as I was at home. People are seen in public and they cannot do the illegal and criminal shit they can do behind closed doors, in their own houses. People in public have to watch out, they can't abuse you as easily, and often even won't recognize you as a target unless you seem inebriated and oblivious.

I can relate a little to the 'outside is dangerous' because one of my family members kept saying that to try and stop me from doing activities outside, but this family member had the least amount of influence, and it didn't stop me. I understand when a family member who has the most amount of influence does this to you, it's a completely different story, and you're effectively trapped. But what they're doing is lying to you. You're not being kept inside in order to be safe. You're not being taught how to spot and avoid danger, and that in itself, is more dangerous. It is, in fact, exactly like Rapunzel, and you're I think, the third person I know of, who recognized themselves in that situation.

I'd love to write more about enmeshed families, but the thing is, this is not an experience I had, and I cannot possibly understand or describe how it feels. I think Jenette McCurdy, in her book 'I'm glad my mom died', describes this way better than I possibly could, so i recommend that you read the book (contact me privately if you want me to send the book to you).

And I agree with you about your therapist not understanding the situation - going against the abuser, without the means to protect yourself, will inevitably end in them realizing they're losing control over you, and they will do something insane, drastic and extremely painful to put you back in order, but you already know that, because it's likely you've already been traumatized in this way and know what to expect. Your therapist doesn't seem to understand how dangerous it is to push against the abusers without any safety (ability to get away from them before they can retaliate).

I did make that post about recognizing if you're held captive, yeah! I'm glad it was helpful. And of course I'm here to talk about abuse. If something written here can help one person clear their mind and recognize their situation, that is huge for me.

[nagdabbit]

built to last

words: 1.4k

rating: gen, it's fluffy as shit

so the other night i was high off my ass and was like, tell me something silly to write cuz im in the mood to accept prompts, and @sarahcakes613 was like,

and then I vomited this out into existence, fell asleep, woke up and forgot it for several days. so, uh. here? have some stupid fluff?

(also on ao3)

.

He woke to the sharp smack of jeans against his forehead and a sharp, demanding, "What the fuck, Bry?"

"What the fuck what?" he muttered, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. It was still dark out, just a little light shining in from the house next to his own. Everything was still drenched in shadow, but Mox made himself seen.

Mox was standing over him in nothing but his t-shirt and boxers, wide eyed and a little frantic, jeans in hand. His shirt was a little wrinkled from a night on the floor, neck stretched a little from where Bryan had wrenched at it, showing off a few bite marks across his clavicle. 

He waved a frantic hand back behind him, "That, Bryan! What the fuck is that out there?!"

His living room? His kitchen? He couldn't think of anything he owned that would leave Mox looking any kind of spooked. Not really, not like that. "I have absolutely no idea."

He kicked the mattress and gestured again, this time toward the window set into the wall. Toward the house next door, and the dock and the lake outside.

"Oh, that's—"

"That's fuckin' water, Bryan," Mox snapped, and gave him another smack with his jeans. "We are on a boat—Bryan, you put me on a fucking boat."

He lifted an eyebrow. "And let me guess, you don't li—"

"I fuckin' hate boats, Bryan. I hate them. They're dangerous fuckin' deathtraps," he snapped, pacing across the room. "I hate boats."

Bryan rolled his eyes and sat up. "You don't say."

"Oh, don't be cute. You said—you said we were going back to your new house," Mox grumbled and threw himself back down onto the bed, wrestling his jeans on. 

"This is a house."

"Bryan this is a—floaty fucking—it's a death trap is what it is. You can put a stove and couch in it, it's still gonna sink," he insisted, continuing to struggle. "Fuckin' tricked me, you goddamn scruffy fuckin' dickhead, I never woulda gone home wit' you if you'd said you bought a fuckin' houseboat." 

"I did say, but you might not have heard me. Little hard to speak when you're trying to lick my tonsils," Bryan muttered rolling his eyes. He stretched a little, pushing back the warm covers.

"Oh, bullshit, you didn't say anythin' about this," he muttered, beginning the process of looking for his socks. 

"You didn't see the dock last night?" he asked, dryly, and crawled forward so he could drape himself across Mox's back. "The water? The boats?"

"I was half asleep and following my dick, 'course I didn't notice." Mox tried to shrug him off, but Bryan just latched on tighter. "You tricked me."

"It's not a trick if I don't know there's a problem. I just wanted to bring you home with me," Bryan promised, scratching his nails lightly across Mox's chest. "C'mon, go back to sleep."

Mox sputtered and gave another violent shrug, but Bryan fought to hold on. "No, why the fuck would I sleep on a boat?!" he demanded, voice a little strangled. "You can't fuckin' swim if you're sleeping."

Bryan wanted to laugh, but he didn't really think that would actually help, not when it was likely to end with him being single. And, for some reason, he kinda loved the man. Just a little. Not that he'd actually said yet, not out loud. So he soothed a palm up Mox's chest, trying to be comforting.

"Calm down, I promise we're safe. Okay? Just let me get a little more sleep. It's early and we don't fly out until the afternoon." He pulled gently, urging Mox to fall back into bed with him. "I promise, if there were any problems, I'd never have brought you. We'll be okay for a few more hours."

"I don't care, it's a boat and I'll get seasick from this rickety fuck—"

"Jon, shut the fuck up for thirty seconds," Bryan grumbled, and pressed a hand to Mox's frantically running mouth. "Take a deep breath, calm down, and then take a moment to notice that we aren't rocking."

He made an indignant sound beneath Bryan's hand, but did as he was told. He was good at that, most of the time. 

"These things are extremely heavy, and have a low center of gravity that keeps them steady. You're not gonna get seasick, unless you work yourself into a panic," he promised, resting his chin on Mox's shoulder. "The most common problem these things have is the sewer line getting messed up, not sinking. Or having to hire a diver to go get something you dropped off the side."

Mox pushed his hand away, "But it can still—"

"A lot of things can happen," he reminded Mox. Bryan didn't think getting specific by reminding him that planes could crash was a good idea, not when they were going to fly out in a few more hours, so he kept it vague. "Just because it can doesn't mean it will. And if this then ever does sink, we'll have plenty of warning and we'll be able to get to the dock before our feet even get wet."

"And it could sink when we're asleep and then we're just s-o-fuckin'-l," Mox added, but he wasn't as tense as he had been. 

"For a man who keeps callin' me a boy scout, you really don't have a lot of faith in me," Bryan admonished, but softened it with a kiss to his shoulder. "I have an alarm. If anything changes, that thing'll go off. And I promise it's loud enough to wake us."

Mox made a skeptical little noise, but didn't immediately argue.

"I had them install flashing lights, too." It was strange how much negotiation was involved in getting Mox to relax. "It's just as safe as any other house."

"Stop making this all sound so fuckin' reasonable," Mox grumbled, and let Bryan wrestle him back down into bed. "I hate boats."

"You've made that very clear, babe, but it's a little hard to find a new house at four in the morning."

Mox scoffed and let himself be manhandled up the bed. "Don't sell your fuckin' boat, Bry."

He rolled his eyes and dropped his weight down onto Mox's chest, just to keep him from running off again. Definitely not because that was his favorite place to sleep, legs parted over Mox's hips. "Can't bring you home if you're just gonna panic yourself into a tizzy every time you're here."

"But—"

"But nothing, it's not worth it if you're gonna freak out." And it really wasn't. Being in love was stupid, like that.

Mox groaned and kicked one of his heels against the mattress. "I don't have to come here."

"Then what's the point of having this place?" Bryan asked, before he could think better of it. "I don't need it if I just want to be wherever you are."

Beneath him, Mox went still and quiet. 

He went still when he had realizations. Froze up as his entire world view changed and adjusted and righted itself in his head. Like a reset button, or something. It would have been funny if it wasn't so important.

But then he went lax beneath Bryan's weight. Heavy hands settled low on Bryan's back, dangerously low. "I guess I could get used to it," he murmured.

And that was—well, that was as good a declaration as Bryan had ever heard. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. If you're sure, then I guess I can be, too." He smoothed a palm down to give Bryan's ass a squeeze, "'Sides, I bet we could actually rock this thing if we tried hard enough."

He laughed, finally, relaxing into Mox's hands. "I think sinking wasn't the part you needed to worry about anyway."

Mox made an inquisitive sound, hands still kneading Bryan's ass.

"The neighbors definitely heard us last night."

Mox froze. For a few long seconds, he didn't even breathe. 

And then he shoved Bryan off and away, letting him bounce unceremoniously onto the mattress. "Nope, I was right, this is awful and you gotta sell it," he grumbled and resumed his search for his clothes. He muttered under his breath as he went, all manner of plans and ideas. A ranch, far from the city, with room for a couple more dogs and no neighbors for miles. A cabin deep in the woods, where they wouldn't be disturbed. 

A little place in the suburbs, with a patio and a yard and room for—with plenty of room.

And Bryan didn't think he'd ever been so happy. He laid back and watched Mox throw his little fit, laughing all the while. 

[aryasage]

set me on fire (so i can rise)

so fpx has been doing ridiculously well and deokdam beat ruler for the first time in his career and i sat down and vomited thirteen hundred words of brainrot onto the page. i had originally intended it for tumblr so i'm posting it here but it's theoretically long enough for me to post it as an actual fic so like. if anyone wants that let me know. no previous knowledge really needed and i'm too lazy to link stuff so just. here you go have fun

title is from fpx's phoenix because come on it was too perfect of a situation

(deokdam and viper are both aphelios, ruler is xayah, life is tahm kench, missing is thresh, flandre is graves, milkyway is kindred, none of the others really matter)

canon-typical violence under the cut but nothing graphic!

also don't yell at me about the moon formatting i already know i can't fix it ok

Deokdam has never beaten Ruler. He’s faced him more times than plenty of other AD carries, but each of their twelve matches has stayed in his head for longer than he’d like to admit. Maybe it’s that he’s the first world champion Deokdam ever faced. It’s hard to forget the feeling of barely even being able to stand in his presence, let alone put up a proper fight. But as the years went on, Deokdam’s losses to the other AD carry only got more and more depressing, and…well. He guesses it’s sort of a Thing by now. 

And so, even though he and his team have been doing far better than anyone expected, even beating TES and JackeyLove, Deokdam can’t help but feel apprehensive about their upcoming match. But…they’ve come this far by trusting each other. And so, as they start their warmups before the match, Deokdam taps Life on the shoulder. “You were his support for years,” he says quietly. “What’s his weakness?”

A sly smirk spreads across Life’s face, and he responds just as quietly. “He has a habit of overstepping. He’s overconfident. And it happens more often than you might think, especially now that he doesn’t have me anymore…”

Deokdam hesitantly returns his smile. “Thanks. I think I have an idea.”

☾

As Deokdam exchanges bows with Ruler, he keeps his eyes trained on the other AD carry, watching his every move. He steps forward first, just as Life predicted, and Deokdam can’t help but smile. Something feels different this time as he takes a step back, dodging Ruler’s first attack and beginning the dance back-and-forth, and Deokdam thinks he knows why. 

☾

“I think I’ve figured it out,” Viper says, his voice of moonlight so similar to Deokdam’s and yet nothing alike as he offers his hand to Deokdam, who takes it gratefully, allowing Viper to pull Deokdam to his feet.

“What, how to beat me? Because I’m pretty sure you figured that out a while ago,” Deokdam says, trying to pass it off as a joke, but his magical voice betrays his frustration. He’d accepted Viper’s request to spar over the offseason without a second thought, eager to practise both with his friend and someone with far more skill than him, but after the third day, Deokdam is just exhausted, and Viper absolutely destroying him every round isn’t exactly making him feel much better. 

“No, not that,” Viper says, sighing. “Let’s sit down. We should get water anyway.” Well, he’s right about one thing, at least. Even though it doesn’t do anything to put out the fire in his throat, Deokdam’s definitely dehydrated by now, and just the act of drinking it is refreshing. It also means he can avoid asking what Viper did mean for a bit, but eventually, his curiosity gets the better of him, and he asks Viper just that.

“Oh, right. Well, I think I figured out your problem. Fighting,” he quickly adds, evidently seeing Deokdam’s face and how he was about to say he has far more than one problem to worry about. “You think too much about yourself.”

The words hit him harder than any dose of noctum. Great. He already feels awful for drowning himself in self-pity practically all of last spring and half of summer, but it hurts even more coming from his friend. 

Viper frowns. “Wait, no, not—” He sighs. “I don’t mean that you’re selfish, Deokdam. Just that you get too much in your own head. You’re so focused on what you should do that you’re not paying enough attention to your opponent, so when I do something unexpected, you get caught completely off-guard.”

Oh. The tension eases from Deokdam’s shoulders somewhat. That…makes a lot more sense. 

“I used to have the opposite problem, actually,” Viper continues. “I was always so focused on what the enemy was doing that I forgot my teammates were there too. I didn’t trust them, and our coordination would always be slightly…off. I never really fixed it until…well. You’re a lot better at it than I am. You’ve always had much better synergy with your teams. So you don’t need to worry about that. What I do want you to worry about is your opponent.” He stands up with a smile. “One last round?”

Deokdam can’t help but return it, standing up and following him back to the sparring ring. “Sure.”

“Okay. I want you to keep your focus on me. Your instincts are good enough by now, but you trip yourself up. Don’t think about what you’re doing at all. Just trust yourself, and try to defeat me.”

☾

Just trust yourself. Your instincts are good enough. It’s not that Deokdam would ever say Viper was wrong in saying that, per se, but for the first time, Deokdam thinks he might have been right as he fires a shot at Ruler, clipping him in the shoulder and dodging away from the chains that Missing sends flying at him. 

Smoke begins to swirl around the battlefield, meaning Flandre must have taken out Xiaolaohu in his pocket realm, and if Showmaker hadn’t complained about it being completely unfair every other week in 2022, Deokdam would be realising just how annoying it is right about now. Thanks to Kellin, though, Deokdam has plenty of practice of fighting with irritating gases everywhere, and he can just barely make out the silhouette of Missing’s body right before he throws his hook at Deokdam, and he sidesteps it on instinct. Something grazes his side—one of Ruler’s razor-sharp feathers—but Deokdam hardly feels it thanks to the fire already burning in his veins. All it does is reveal Ruler’s position, and Deokdam fires another shot in his direction.

Ruler lets out a grunt of pain, but he must still think he has the advantage, what with the smoke everywhere, because he takes another step forward, obviously confident. Too confident, because now he’s close enough that Deokdam can see his figure through the smoke. He fires a shot at Ruler’s leg, trying to knock him off balance, and Ruler predictably launches himself into the air, flinging an array of feathers at Deokdam. But with his wings flapping to keep himself in the air, he’s blowing the smoke away, and Deokdam switches weapons, launching a gravity orb at Ruler and clenching his fist, pulling him down to earth. He thinks his legs are bleeding, but it doesn’t matter, not when he switches back to his first weapon, shooting Ruler right in the chest and eliminating him, a faint red mark glowing where his Guild’s magic protected him. 

With their AD carry gone, Deokdam and his teammates are able to make quick work of what remains of JD Guild, especially thanks to Milkyway’s arrows that Deokdam swears have homing magic on them. The rest of the match is a bit of a blur, but the ceremony afterwards stays clear in his mind. Flandre is just as good-natured as Deokdam remembers, and Yagao has a quiet smile even in defeat, but when Deokdam shakes Ruler’s hand, the other AD carry murmurs in Korean, “Well fought.” 

As he walks away, Deokdam catches a glimpse of himself, and if his heart weren’t already pounding out of his chest from the adrenaline rush, it would be now from the shock. Ruler’s glow given by the Rift might be powerful, but right now, Deokdam shines with a light far more important, moonlight gleaming brightly in an aura all around him. It doesn’t go away, even as Milkyway heals his wounds, and when they leave, Deokdam chances a look up at the sky. There, peeking through the stormy clouds, Deokdam can see Her light shining down from above for the first time since he came to China, and he can’t help but smile. 

Thank you, he thinks. I’ll use your gift even better than before.

[alwaysthesitter]

Some internalized transphobia under the cut that I'm anxious about posting because God forbid it be used against me but:

Been in a really bad mental place the past few days. I know there's several reasons for this. I'm not allowed to take my medication the days leading up to my surgery, so without my mental health meds I'm kind of....oof. I also know that it's a huge adrenaline spike and crash, knowing that I have been waiting 10+ years for this to happen and now it's suddenly here. There's a lot of stress around it and making sure everything goes right, and it's caused a lot of big oofs.

But last night I had my first panic attack in a long time. I have no doubt I want this surgery, and that after the surgery I'm going to cry from relief after fighting to get here so long. But, one 'con' keeps coming up in my head, and it's the con that people won't find me attractive anymore once I don't have 34 DD boobs to draw them in.

I know that's shallow af. But there are so many people that tell me they're fine with me being trans and all that then will say, "But can we hook up before you have surgery?" I even had one guy say, "I'm really attracted to you, but I can't say I'll feel the same once you don't have tits." So maybe it's less internalized transphobia and more....internal based on external factors? I shouldn't care. I have my girlfriend. She loves me for me (I think?) and just...blah.

But when so many people seem to be literally narrowing my worth down to these balls of fat on my chest, it makes me have regret and fear. I'm doing this for me, no one else, so obviously this 'con' is not enough to fight off the 500 things on my pro list. I know people are going to like me for me now, and not this part I don't even want that makes me highly dysphoric to get complimented. There's just the fear of falling off, of being alone forever, and all this unrealistic thinking.

It all stemmed because last night I did my final photoshoot as a model with boobs. It's what so many people like, see me as? I do a lot of boudoir modeling, blah blah. And I'm like....okay if I had a smaller chest this would be easier. If I had to get a masectomy for whatever reason, I would have to learn to still see myself as beautiful without this part. But it's just such a noticeable like, part of me (my mom always jokes everything about me is tiny af except my eyes and my chest) that even when I wear baggy clothes they're ALWAYS THERE. People notice. People base a lot of compliments on something so....superficial.

And it's getting to my head. I don't know why I'm writing this here, but word vomitting usually helps my brain. Several of my friends who have already had the surgery said they felt similarly, and that it's normal. It's a big change. As exciting as it is, it's also terrifying and new and different and going to be an adjustment no matter what.

I just want to know I'll still be desirable, I guess.

[darklordofthesimp]

Hi, military-bad anon here again, hopefully for the last time. I spent the last 24 hrs reflecting over this whole discourse and I realized where I went wrong. I wanted to apologize for my ignorance and for the words I said.

Someone else had guessed it, I had a dumb-american moment, where I forgot that other countries had militaries, and that those militaries are not used for terrorism like the US uses their military (for example, aiding Latin American dictators in their coups, our 20 year invasion of Afghanistan for their oil, and our part in the Vietnam war), but instead are used to help the public in their times of need like natural disasters.

And if I've ever expressed distaste for the US military, it's never against the individuals who are following orders, it's always against the capitalist machine who gives the orders.

That first ask was a culmination of a 30 second word vomit and I just hit sent without much thought. When everyone believed I called service men and women sick, I was confused on how anyone came to that conclusion. After thinking about it and reading it over with fresh eyes, I realized I wasn't as clear as I should have been.

When I said "You're not bad for being sick, but being sick isnt very good for you." I didn't mean service people being sick, I meant people in general being sick. And by "sick," I didn't mean there was something wrong with you in your head, I meant like your immune system was compromised and you've got the flu or something. And everyone knows you're not a bad person just because you got the sniffles. So essentially, what I was trying to convey, is that there are good people who are in a bad situation. (And by "bad situation," I mean in actual war, which I realize now that not everyone is actually fighting.)

It was an attempt at an analogy but 1. It was a bad analogy and 2. I didn't even let y'all know it was an analogy, I just jumped into it, and reading back, yeah I should have proofread.

Also, about the children shows mention, I was just trying to explain how we all know war is bad because it was taught to us from an early age that we should be kind to another. But this was irrelevant as I now know; military does not equal people going to war.

Even calling myself "military-bad anon" is problematic because it's assuming the military is bad, but that's how you guys know me so 🙃

I know I tried earlier to explain myself, but I never actually apologized. So again, I'm sorry.

I'm very exhausted by the entire conversation that ensued after your ask, there's a lot of things I want to say and there's actually a couple of points I want to argue but I really cannot be fucked.

I think the point is that, while I can't answer for what the US Military has done, neither can they really.

Any military is like a handgun. It can be used to protect you and it can also be used to commit a straight up crime, but at the end of the day- it is ENTIRELY DEPENDANT on the person wielding it.

Whoever wields the military decides what it does. The people who joined are there to protect and defend the nation. That's what I know and that's what I'll stand by, whatever the suits and the politicians want to do outside of that main objective is another conversation entirely.

Thanks for apologising about the wording in your ask, I think it'll clear up a lot for most people and it takes a big person to apologise for something being misunderstood so I really appreciate it

[psychewritesbs]

I want to see Megumi fight for himself again!! PLEASE GEGE 🙏 I won't ask for anything else I promise LOL

I've also been listening to megumi's ost "Jujutsu Sorcerer: Fushiguro Megumi" and damn... it's so perfect. It was one of my most played songs 😭

I can't even make theories anymore but I like the idea of megumi's sense of self overpowering sukuna's like you mentioned in a post. I won't elaborate, but I'd forgive gege for tsumiki (somewhat 🙄) if megumi has another good few moments.

I'm also wondering how these battles will go now that gojo has been unsealed. He has ties to kenjaku bc of geto, and I guess sukuna too bc of megumi and their fated ancestors fight to death, but I hope we get some inside thoughts of gojo thinking of megumi. I feel like it won't end like their ancestors, but who knows with gege. I'm not too surprised by his reaction last chapter lol, but I hope we get his reactions to all the grief and misery brought by his sealing to wherever they go to next to regroup, I'm assuming.

I'm saying this bc yuuji has arguably bigger ties to both kenjaku and sukuna, so something has to occur for yuji to not be useless yk as the mc. Plus, yuta has that kenjaku match we were teased at during his sendai fight and I feel like this could turn into having them in the same locations or close to each other and have them fight without being able to finish the job and I'm sure the extra month given to sukuna and kenjaku will allow kenjaku a lot of prep time lol (thanks gojo for prolonging megumi's possession 🙄 which the 24th?? That's two days after megumi's birthday right? His birthday.. ☠️)

I read another twt post discussing how the 22nd was when the shadows were the darkest when he was born? I'm not sure of it's credibility, but I wonder if the next few chapters we'll get the time in between the days until the fight, not only on our protags side, but sukuna and megumi too

I feel like those eren fans who were waiting for his pov until they got to the last chapter

Yoooo... all the Megumi love. Thank you for the Megumi love!

I feel like it needs to be said again tho...

I know anon. That's exactly why we're going to burn some candles...

jk let's use dynamite instead 🧨. It'll be faster.

The word vomit continues under the cut.

I've also been listening to megumi's ost "Jujutsu Sorcerer: Fushiguro Megumi" and damn... it's so perfect.

I KNOW anon! You know how music can capture the soul of what it's trying to depict? This song is so good at capturing Megumi's soul. He's so stupidly beautiful I just can't.

I can't even make theories anymore but I like the idea of megumi's sense of self overpowering sukuna's like you mentioned in a post. I won't elaborate, but I'd forgive gege for tsumiki (somewhat 🙄) if megumi has another good few moments.

I totally need to stop theorizing myself, but my brain loves it so I cannot help myself even if I wanted to lol.

Tbh I don't know how to feel about Tsumiki. All I ever wanted to see the real Tsumiki, you know? Not Megumi's imagination of her. But as it turned out she did indeed get fridged.

Fushiguro Tsumiki was sacrificed for plot convenience and character development. LE SIGH! I guess she suffered from side-character syndrome, she was just a side chick.

I think we will get our moments. Even if they are painful af lol--I doth see the full wrath of Gege to be imposed upon Megumi. I literally just said I was trying not to theorize.

I hope we get some inside thoughts of gojo thinking of megumi

Since I'm so late answering to your ask, I'm just going to drop this here assuming you've already read chapter 223. If you haven't... consider yourself warned.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

He literally just purple hollow purpled Megumi.

Way to start the fight.

And like... yeah he's probably assuming Sukuna can use rct and would survive the attack... or he might have a plan...

But like... Gojo's kind of crazy too. He achieved "no regard for othersing back in the Hidden Inventory Arc.

I'm saying this bc yuuji has arguably bigger ties to both kenjaku and sukuna, so something has to occur for yuji to not be useless yk as the mc.

I've seen all of the hate Yuji gets as a shonen mc and it makes me so sad because he fits the mold of his archetype in a very real and approachable way that is so refreshing.

I feel like he's underestimated so much as a character (I mean, Sukuna constantly underestimates him) so I love what you wrote about how something has to occur because it makes so much sense for Yuji to find something that only he can do to fight Sukuna.

Honestly, there's still more to find out about Yuji so I'm looking forward to seeing what Gege reveals about him... err that is if Gege addresses this plot point.

thanks gojo for prolonging megumi's possession 🙄

See what I'm saying tho? Gojo doesn't really care 😂.

Zero regard for others. I hope to see some compassion in this battle.

I read another twt post discussing how the 22nd was when the shadows were the darkest when he was born? I'm not sure of it's credibility

Um. That's an interesting idea. Without more context, it's almost like saying that the day you are born is marked by the experience of coming into the world through the birth canal. This experience can be traumatic or it can be normal.

I've heard theories about how we relive the experience of coming into the world around our birthdays so I wonder if it has anything to do with this.

I wonder if the next few chapters we'll get the time in between the days until the fight, not only on our protags side, but sukuna and megumi too

Ya, it would make sense, wouldn't it? It feels like Gege has been using non-linear story telling this whole time, and with the transitions in the latest chapters, it only became more obvious.

I feel like those eren fans who were waiting for his pov until they got to the last chapter

omg... why would you end your ask on this note loooooool 🙃. Goes and cries in the corner #give me back my Megumi

Thanks for the Megumi love once again 🥲🙏🏼.

[lepoppeta]

For the fanfic ask thing: 6, 7, 8, 17, 22, 23, 26, 29, 35, 39, 42, 49, 68 and 75 c:

6. What's the last line you wrote?

"... he may yet make a surprisingly great trainer!"

Victor couldn't help the sneer of his top lip, or the darkening of his brow, or the way he parted his teeth just slightly and asked: "What do you mean, 'surprisingly'?"

Title: To the Victor Goes the Spoils

Fandom: Pokémon (Sword & Shield)

Relationship(s): Victor/Hop

7. Post a snippet from a WIP.

Brassius has no classmates to celebrate with; no teachers to particularly thank. Within the month, he finds an empty warehouse studio in Artazon for his fantastical sculptures and fills the gardens of his new home with roses; agave; blackberries.

Title: Carnivore

Fandom: Pokémon (Scarlet & Violet)

Relationship(s): Hassel/Brassius

8. Post an out-of-context spoiler from a WIP.

"Jack we have to go."

"... I can't."

"We have to, pet. We'll be found if we stay here, and to be quite frank..." he trails off, wincing. He folds his lips together ponderously and tries again: "... to be honest, you don't look like you could squash a roach, let alone kill a Splicer."

Title: Dark and Familiar and Deep as the Sea (re-write)

Fandom: Bioshock 1 + 2

Relationship(s): Jack Ryan/Atlas

17. Do you have a writing routine?

Absolutely not.

22. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

Fandom and music have always gone hand in hand for me, so most of my titles end up being song lyrics!

I usually write with a title in mind, but sometimes it changes during the "drafting" process.

23. What is the easiest and what is the hardest: beginnings, middles, ends?

Beginnings are easier, certainly.

Endings are very difficult for me. I have a hard time conceptualizing a good stopping point in my stories; a lot of the time they keep going of their own volition, but not necessarily linearly.

26. What's your least favourite part of the writing process?

Drafting.

I can't do word vomit; I can't write things badly on purpose; I don't entirely understand how drafting works. Someone needs to take my brain and my hands and do it for me so I can have the template muscle memory to do it on my own.

29. What's something about your writing that you're proud of?

I like to think that I'm quite good at dialogue, and I think I'm getting better at making my overall prose snappier and more minimalist.

35. What's your favourite fic that you've posted?

Overall? Probably At the End of the Line (Maybe a Diamond Ring). It's relatively well-written; the ending actually ends somewhat cleanly; it paces well compared to most of my other works. I'm pleased with it. I wouldn't change it.

More recently, I'm quite fond of My Lover Stands on Golden Sands, but I also don't like the ending all that much anymore. I feel like it just... falls off at the end.

39. Most self-indulgent WIP?

I wouldn't strictly call it a WIP, but I still have a few passages from a completed Nuzlocke (OmegaRuby / X) that I was going to transfer into a prose format. It has a lot of headcanons and self-insert-y elements without it being a straight-up self-insert fanfiction.

42. What's your favourite title you've come up with?

Mentioned above, I have two (named) Pokémon stories in the works. One is "Carnivore" and one is "To the Victor Goes the Spoils". I like both.

Out of my published works I think Dark and Familiar and Deep as the Sea is my favourite (although this fic I'd hardly consider to be published in its current state). The Blue Tide Pulling me Under is also pretty up there.

49. What fic of yours would you say is the best introduction to you as a writer?

I don't think I can accurately answer this because I kind of know what I want my writing to aspire to be, but I don't really know what it is. I don't know my own quirks, I only can hazard a guess as to what I would want them to be. It would probably be a question better posed to a member of my audience rather than me.

However, true as I may think that is, it's a bit of a cop-out answer. If I had to choose I'd probably pick Athair. It needs to be re-written, though.

68. Are there any fics that influenced you to write the way that you do?

My one true fanfiction love is Hang the Fool, and that's probably influenced me the most in terms of style. It's a story that's repetitive without lingering past its welcome; it's very articulate while still being descriptive. I admire it greatly.

75. Is there a particular fic that your readers gravitate towards that you didn't expect?

My five most popular works are as follows:

Aphrodite

Athair

You're Gonna be My Bruise

Frame and Wire

The Blue Tide Pulling me Under

I don't understand why Aphrodite is ranked so highly. Maybe because it's my oldest Bioshock work and has simply been around the longest? I think it's pretty crap now, but I also think some of my newer stuff is worse.

You're Gonna be My Bruise I think is the biggest surprise. I truly think this is my worst one. It's too short. It's written poorly. It is simply bad. Why do you people like it so much?

[quintential]

Ramblings of a 20 yo

I'm writing because, even though it feels like I'm squeezing my mind through a ricer like a potato and just creating- I don't know, mashed potatoes, I guess,

I'm making the choice to write. Because I can't let myself want to write all my life and keep giving up because it doesn't sound right, or it's not coming out right, or it's not good, or things like that. I can't do that to myself. 

Raina believes she is doomed, it's too late, she's fucked it all up already, etcetera. I'm here, still fighting, because I am resilient, to tell her she is wrong. She is not doomed. It is not too late.

She is 20, - i am 20 

years

old

for fucks sake,

I AM YOUNG AND ALIVE, SEE ME WORLD! I want to scream at the top of my lungs to everyone.

This is the fire in my soul that keeps me going. Is that against all odds, I have hope. I try, every day. I will persevere. The world is not easy. We hurt each other. I'm pissed at my roommate. This is ok.

This is word vomit. That's also perfectly ok. When the gates of the mind open, for the first time in a while, don't be surpised when a tidal wave of stuff comes pouring out. I am pouring out!!!

SO, there are some things of focus in my life. A to do list, shall you say.

do cool stuff alone! I want to get into san francisco. be free, explore. may go to the MOMA tommorow.

go out on dates. Even though I'm scared and they may suck, I want to try. I want to try, and try, and try.

make friends. I want to make new friends here. I will compliment people as much as I can, strike up conversations as much as possible. People want to be my friend too. I look cool, so i will start conversations when they compliment me!

make my art. I need to make art! I will make art.

forgive myself.

forgive others.

Pretty good list, huh? I am the vibrancy, the thrum. I also may have a teensy-tiny self obsession problem. I love looking at myself in the mirror, all the time, pictures of myself all the time, etcetera. People are obsessed with me too because I am strange looking and beautiful. See? Self obsession, because I am the center of my world. I want to fall in love so I can let others in too. I let people in... where are they??????

I am always filled with hurt and love always always always.

/later

filled with melancholy,

and other feelings of similar dread related to the usual "who am I " where am I " etcetera, dissasociation,

feelings of complete

aloneness,

loneliness,

it's hard to feel as though i'm apart

when i feel so different from everyone-

of course, this exists in tandem with the knowledge that everyone feels different and that what should bring us together, but...

I reflect back on my conversations with roommate last night,

unpleasant and battleing I was not good either but I she reminded me of my mother too much and I was upset angry and looking to push buttons and fuel the divide between us

and what a divide it is, she and her on one side and me on the other, rooms hand in hand and me apart. 

It's so incredibly hard to feel close to people for me. Usually,  I'm floating on clouds above-

superior and self deprecating all at once it's a bad combination I know

I miss

I always say i miss and then cannot point to when or what i miss. Perhaps it's feeling I read about and see

the silly couple giggling on the street the friends twirling hands the teammates hugging

Yet I cannot let myself be a part I will seperate my heart

sever the tendons

that pulses between us

let you bleed out, you can take care of yourself

sew myself back up

I cannot live- we - cannot live without other but I am very talented at tricking myself into believing

I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine

I cannot even get over a goddamn volleyball game. 

I need to learn I must change I have to be 

better

be

better

be

better

be

better

you cannot shame yourself into changing

can you love yourself ? Please?

You will change for the better I promise.

fuck, what's the point and i know this is getting repetitive but i can't help it that's what life is over and over and over again which is ok but whats the point there is so much bad in the world fuck fuck fuck