#but alicia is 'mom' smh

[warningsine]

[peapodbond]

i got these beautiful motherfucking tags on this post #rotating this post in my head #keep speaking. actually get a megaphone. #i'm listening and a few #yes good

so

here is some more

with thanks to @nonuniqueindie for the tag team (current smh headcanons)

alicia gets scouted by pwhl boston while she's at samwell and gets signed as a forward

(i have to write this and as a toronto fan it is devastating. the boston/toronto divide is strong. okay, no, you're not here for my hot sports takes.)

actually bob as a montrealer has the same issue, he cannot believe that now he needs to root for boston. mario and wayne are incredibly disappointed in him. bob perseveres because alicia on the ice is one of the most beautiful things he's ever seen.

his friends actually chirp him more about the way he talks about alicia playing than the fact that he supports boston.

bob was on a quebecois soap that ran for ten years. it was about a family who ran a logging company and it was messy. everyone loved it. bob has his own canadian screen award and a prix gémeaux and the show won best soap two years in a row. he met wayne and mario at various functions where they were presenting and they've bonded.

alicia shows up for her first team physical and finds out that she can't actually play that season (hi jack!)

alicia was the top scorer on pwhl boston her first year and she was consistently top twenty across the league.

whichever goalie had the most games where she didn't get a goal at the end of the season got their drinks paid for by the others until the next season started.

(alicia comes to samwell when jack is playing and they all convince her to get on the ice during practice. it's mostly just for fun, but chowder stops one of her shots and spends the next five minutes freaking out and apologizing. alicia laughs and sends him christmas presents until he graduates and not a single boy on the team lets him buy a drink for the rest of his college career. like, not even at annie's)

boston wins the cup her first year. and her second year. there was almost a threepeat.

alicia makes bob come to a red sox game when she throws the first pitch out. it's against the expos. bob refuses to wear a red sox jersey (and the expos win.)

bitty says "mrs. jack's mom"

suzanne bittle still has heart eyes. ("we all had her card, we wanted to be just like her!" shitty in the background *cough* "you mean get with her". bitty wants to die. nothing much is different.)

whiskey has the biggest hockey crush on her

nursey finds her hockey card being used as a bookmark in one of dex's textbooks

bob does a sears photoshoot for christmas one year and they sell out of the sweater that he wears in under a week. a feat considering this is when people still ordered from the catalogue and not online.

bob becomes the face of canadian tire in his thirties. shitty finds the old ads and jack suffers through three months of sexy handyman jokes.

then shitty finds the body break commercials alicia did. it's peak nineties workout gear and jack suffers. again.

this post suggests a perfect au in which alicia zimmermann wins the cup and bob is her actor-slash-model husband

(jack still takes a shit in it)

[littleharpethcrossfit]

Tuesday,  14   February,   2023.... Warmup........Back Squats........ Some Hard Work.....Dips.

The temp was a blustery 68 degrees.  This kind of weather often presages a rapid degradation of weather leading to bad storms.  I’m glad I have a deep basement.

A sizable crowd gathered.

Many remarked that they heard a buzzing drone overhead.  It came and went multiple times.  Everyone agreed.  Some joked it was Chinese.  It couldn’t be Nathan because he was here.  Luke Kennedy ??  

Warmup:

3  Rounds

10  PVC Overhead Squats

10  Scap Pull-Ups

10  PVC Lunge Steps

Strength WOD:

Back Squats:          5 / 5 / 5 / 5 / 5

65 to 75% of Your 1 Rep Max

Ed=255     Chase/Armando=225     Paul=215     Herb=195     Timmy/Nathan/Tom=185     Zac/Coach/Dyer=175      Chad=155    Old Joe=125     Linda/Sue=95     Christina=85     Kayla/Shannon=75     Louis (the child)=45     Average Dave=Did Robert’s workout.     Alicia=GOK     Others=??

Metabolic Conditioner

4  Rounds

One Minute Max Push Press     (45/35)

One Minute Max Ab-Mat Sit-Ups

One Minute Max Walking Lunge Steps

One Minute REST

SCORE:     Total Reps

RXers:

Herb=480     Chase=467     Timmy=450     Armando=449     Ed=445     Sue=416     Paul=362     Dyer/Nathan=310     Tom=295     Zac=90/84/86/81 

All Else:

Louis (the child)=423     Kayla=410     Christina=378    Chad=361       Coach=345     Shannon=274      Old Joe=248     Average Dave=Did Robert’s programming     Linda/Alicia=no post              

Cool-Down:

Anyhow Dips:      10 / 8 / 6 / 4

Notes:

I suspected we would have a couple of athletes with counting disorders who would claim to achieve more reps than there were seconds in the WOD, but that didn’t happen.  BTW, One rep per second would be 720 reps.  Close.  SMH.  

Today was the 1st occurrence of an attendee at LHCF actually importing programming from some other non-affiliate.  The management was so terribly offended that they were left speechless.  Speechless.

A pleasant spontaneous wine tasting occurred after the workout.  Mr Ed brought some Chardonnays last week (see prior blogs).  These were noticed by Zach who I suspect only just this minute recalled that today was Valentines day, and since wife Christina was here and he hadn’t planned anything, Zach decided to open some of Ed’s wine and get Christina schnockered (?).  Good move, Zach.

Note in the above results only one person left it to me to add up their score.  Thanks for opening and pouring the wine, Zach. 

There was some squealing heard coming from the girls workout area.  Apparently some small mice staggered out of the Barn and into the girls’ workout area.  Complicated...but Old Joe has put a lot of Bird Seed in the Barn, attracting mice, which the management had been attempting to poison with Home Depot Rat Killer Cubes.  The mice were roaming around the girls deck whilst in the throes of death.  A few of the more humane guys went over and stomped the mice to death, taking them out of their misery.  Miss Linda ran to the house.  

Thursday at 4 PM.  Wine and snacks if you bring them.

Wednesday at 8 AM we will have a fine workout that our Mom’s seem to enjoy.  Maybe it’s just the timing.  Please come.  You don’t have to be a Mom.  The WOD is posted above.    

[lo-frequency]

Class 1-A on Various TV Shows

So this is the first part of a "tv show" themed series of headcanons I have planned. I still have some requests to get to, but I hope y'all can enjoy these in the meantime!

Bakugou:

-American Ninja Warrior

- Please, you can’t tell me they wouldn’t have a pro-hero version of ANW. It’d have to be an international/Japanese version in this case, but the concept would be the same.

-SHOW SUMMARY: So in case you’ve never seen/heard of American Ninja Warrior, it’s a game show (?) where contestants have to cross a challenging obstacle course that tests your athleticism and physical strength. The course is outside (w a crowd watching), and there’s water beneath the course, so if you fall, you’re off the show. To win, you have to have the fastest time of all the successful contestants. END SUMMARY

-Anyway, in his introduction clip, they’d show Bakugou doing some intense training/parkour or whatever and he’s like “This’ll be an easy win. I do courses like these as a light workout”, you know, the usual arrogance we all love so much.

-Would be one of those contestants with a backyard Ninja course/personal gym and he’d be on that thing everyday. He eats, sleeps, and breaths ANW until the day he runs the course

-Now, for this particular version of ANW, Shoji has the #1 record with the fastest time in Pro-Hero ANW history (hard to beat somebody w 6 arms and over 1000lb grip strength)

-So for Bakugou, it’s not a matter of finishing the course or even winning the show, he’s training for the that #1 champion spot.

-Would he beat Shoji’s record? Probably not, but he’d definitely go down in the hall of fame

-I think it would be pretty cool to watch him show off the results of all those 6am workouts, lol

Hell’s Kitchen

-Do I even need to continue the headcanon?

-Chef Ramsay’s actual twin, blonde hair and everything

-As the judge (aka Chef Ramsay), he’d be so hard on the contestants smh

-He’d have your blood pressure high with how much he’d be yelling at the other chefs

-Would take too much pleasure in giving the losing teams punishments

-Probably sent everybody out of the kitchen during dinner service at one point, just shut down the whole service out of rage

-As a chef, he’d be the most intense on his team

-Wouldn’t have been a team player at first bc he knew his skills alone would keep him on the show, but as more people got eliminated, he would learn to work with others so they’d be more likely to win challenges

-Would’ve been told to humble himself on multiple occasions by Chef Ramsay, I can’t imagine him taking criticism very well either, w Chef’s usual tone.

-He’d fit right into the show honestly, bc most of the chef’s on there fight and have bad attitudes anyway 💀

-Would definitely be a finalist, has a pretty high chance of winning the show bc he has strong skills despite his sucky attitude. It would be a season to remember, for sure.

Kirishima

-Would have a fitness Youtube channel , “Red Riot Fitness” or something like that

-Weekly workouts for all fitness levels, really enthusiastic and one of those instructors that’s constantly hyping you up and making those dramatic sounds as you get your last few reps in

-Does mostly resistance training and HIIT workouts

-If he has other people working out with him in the video, he’d go around the room encouraging them and doing the exercises with them

-Very popular with stay at home moms, they’re all up in his livestreams ;) (shoot, I’d be right there with them)

-Makes those inspirational videos like “You’re winning even if you can only do 5 minutes!!”

-Could see him collaborating with other fitness channels and doing something unexpected like Zumba or a hip hop dance class for the fun of it.

-Probably makes videos like “My Daily Workout Routine” or “What I Eat in a Day” and then people would start making content like: “I Worked Out like Red Riot for a Week and This Happened 😱”

Izuku

-Sports newscaster, always makes the most accurate predictions about game outcomes.

-March Madness? He’d get closest to guessing the actual Final Four

-Knows all the player stats like he coached them himself

-If he had a radio show he’d constantly be getting into debates with co-hosts or listeners about player performance or which teams are the best

-Gets genuinely excited about interviewing the players after games

-Good at narrating games until he gets too hype and starts rambling out of excitement

-Pretty well known commentator throughout the world of whatever sport he follows.

Todoroki

-Brace yourself, because this is truly a concept: messy reality show host Shoto

-They’d have him hosting the sit-down meetings at the end of each season, where the cast members sit together and have a “discussion” about that season’s events.

-No, stay with me on this. He’d be perfect because he would “unintentionally” instigate the drama between cast members like:

- “So Alicia, how is your relationship with Colby?”

- “Uh, it’s fine, now…?”

- He raises his eyebrows “Really? I’m surprised, since he cheated on you with Kelly.” 👀.

- “He what?”

-*Camera pans to Shoto looking knowingly into the camera, sipping his drink while Alicia and Kelly fight.*

-Later on, during individual interviews, he’s like “I knew Alicia was unaware, although Colby was making it obvious, in my opinion. I just thought it was about time Kelly got exposed for being the fake friend she is.” he says in his usual flat tone, with a slight shrug to his shoulders.

-I’m telling you, this would make good television.

That’s all I've got for now! Thanks for tuning in, as always :)

[selfcarecap]

Episode 5 (i was eating during episode 4 so didn’t write anything dowm. actually i am still eating??? I am the fastest eater i know but this pizza just won‘t go down lmao) @kenniteaa

Ohh I think I have the same shirt as Bela (not wearing it rn but)

Naurr Nico deleted the comment 😭 either Leighton found out or he was embarrassed that she didn‘t reply to the comment

Ohh Bela said something similar yhdjs

Leighton @ the women‘s centre: 'wait did i say something triggering again?' Loool

Omggg it‘s Montey (how the hell do you spell that. Montie. Oh probably just Monty….) from 13 reasons why lmfaoo (he was an asshole like one of the worst people but he looks good djdkkdksks) and he‘s an asshole again lol or idk just seems weird

DHSLSJSKSK Kimberley (she‘s the only one whos name i still don‘t reaaally know) not her thinking she should post a spongebob impression on her story to impress Nico dhsjdkdkdkd I love this girl

(As you can tell) I‘m honestly having a hard time not taking about every single joke shsjs so I‘ll just say how funny this show is and I love it a lot and thanks for recommending it <33

'Leight' as a nickname for Leighton is so… imagine me calling you Kend. or calling Whitney Whit which actually for some reason doesn‘t even sound so unrealistic lol

Also my post eating pills (ones that you have to leave in your mouth until they dissolve) tastes so disgusting because the pizza taste is still in my mouth and I am not having a good time rn

HOW DO THE GUYS LOCKER ROOMS LOOK LIKE THAT WHATT love Whitney taking action😌 or trying to wdldkx

Whitney’s mom on the zoom call shsjsj asking for the screen to be moved so she doesn‘t have to see Dalton dhsksks (ahhh that‘s his name. Stupid.)

I lovee the women‘s centre woman (i really need to learn side character‘s names…) and Leighton‘s chemistryyy ahhh

……why is that guy suddenly showing Bela porn…… i hope the guy dies 🥰. creepy.

All the frat guys trying to be politically correct i caaaan‘t ahaha

Okay her name is Alicia and she and Leighton finally kissed AAHHHH i was so excited for her to find out Leighton‘s not straight lmao but why i am cry.ing.

How did Whitney manage to fall off the treadmill, bang her face and still think of something to say yhskdks i love her 😭

Hmmmm I‘m very confused about Nico. I don‘t like that he‘s mainly nice to Kimberly when they‘re alone 🙁

'I deleted the comment on your pic because I‘m your tutor and you're my sisters roommate so I shouldn‘t be saying you look good' shut up lol She should have listened to Canaan and done her homework instead smh

But also their uni/campus is sooo pretty omgg

💘Amelia and Leighton💘 omggg i watched Indian Matchmaker for a linguistics class once dhsldk we had a whole group project on it lol (i did not really like it, i would not have stayed for 1-6 episodes (lol) i would be home after the first half episode)

I hope Dalton dies too 🥰

LMAO HE ACTUALLY CALLED HER WHIT ANDHDJSKSKDKDK

Omg I wanna throw a stone at someone‘s car window now shsjskksks i loved that 😌

This is the last episode for today I will leave you alone now Kend dhdkkd

[camilliar]

I've just reread ~get the wine pairings~ which is one of the best zimbits fics I've ever read and I was wondering if you're currently working/planning any new omgcp fics? I really love your writing 🙈

Ahhhhhhh wow thank you, there are so many Zimbits fics to choose from, and you chose the one I wrote while my OMGCP AO3 account was still a sock I never planned to link to because it was too many kinks pasted together. I’m very flattered. I’m still weirdly pleased with that fic!

To answer you question -- which I’m also very flattered anyone would ask? -- I've got two OMGCP fics that’ll be going up in the next, like, month:

You may have seen me insanely blogging about this AU where everyone’s getting MFAs at Samwell. In theory, ideally, I guess this would be like a loose collaborative series me and @tomatowrites both write in? (If she wants to/has time to?) I’ve very near done with the first fic in this series, like, one to five paragraphs away from being done and passing it on to a beta. It’s a PBJ sex fic set over Labor Day weekend; Bitty thinks he’s getting into one thing (group sex) but he’s actually getting into something else. It doesn’t get that much into the MFA part of things but I hope it does an okay job introducing the general themes around the Parse + Bitty stories in the AU? Lots of ???? because I’m just so excited about this entire thing. Please send me + Tomato asks about MFA stuff, I’m obsessed with and I want everyone else to be, also.

I’m also doing @omgcpheartbreakfest, and that fic is due on August 5 and should be posting ... a week later? Ish? Because it’s a blind fest I ought not divulge too much about it, but it’s an idea I’ve wanted to write out for a while, so I’m looking forward to finishing this over the next week or two.

and then OH GOD this list continues:

After those two I’ll probably switch gears to finish up this infamous South Park fic. Further afield, I did start an Ollie/Wicks fic that could be conceptually interesting but a) what is the audience? and b) do I really want to expend energy on digging into the tone and keeping the tone on point? More problematic is that these characters do not have personalities or even biographical information to transform into a story, so it’s tough to know what their relationship would even be like? I guess what I’m saying is I’m not sure if I want to follow through on this. Earlier today, actually, I took a look at it convinced I was going to scrap it -- but I also felt like there was something there that made me almost wistful for whatever conviction I had for this story when I started it. We’ll see where that goes.

Two big fics I have wanted to write in this fandom for a long, long time, like nearly as long as I’ve been in the fandom:

An AU where Jack’s OD is fatal, and a few years into the future his mother has established a foundation in his memory, to which she’s recruited Parse to sit on the board, which requires that he help fund the foundation. The foundation creates a scholarship for a hockey player at Samwell, and Parse is asked to advise the selection process, which results in Bitty being offered the inaugural award. The problem, however, is that Bitty is terrified of checking and if he doesn’t make it on this team, there’s a chance SMH might ultimately reject the gift -- and if this pilot program fails, Jack’s mom is gonna, like, have a breakdown. So Parse decides to intervene to make sure Bitty doesn’t get cut? Long story short, endgame Bitty/Parse, with the basic tension coming from what everyone’s lost if Jack isn’t in their lives: the team dynamic is totally different! Bitty thinks Jack is a selfish monster who ruined the lives of everyone around him, but Parse maintains that Bitty didn’t know him. The Bob/Alicia relationship is almost irreparably frayed and Parse finds himself in the middle of it because they both refuse to let him go! In a lot of ways it’s a story about Jack, although Jack is very dead for all of it. If done properly I would love to get into some of the tough politics around, like, money in US higher ed and some politics around wealth generally.

I have mentioned a few times that I want to write a “normal” not-edgelord Zimbits fic, and that would be an AU where Jack gets a PhD in history instead of going into the NHL -- so it’s basically canon-divergent from the start of Y2, where Jack decides that, for his own mental health, he can’t do professional hockey. The fic is set over the summer of 2017, at which point Jack is preparing to take his exams, write a dissertation prospectus, and start teaching in the fall. He’s at an impasse with his advisor, however, who doesn’t want him to write a social history of hockey because that’s a second book project, not a dissertation. While that’s happening, Bitty’s just graduated college and moved back in with his parents while Jack tries to find them an apartment in Boston -- which he’s having some trouble doing since Bitty doesn’t have a job lined up and Jack’s income is like, a graduate stipend. The conflicts in this story come from circumstances external to the Jack/Bitty relationship, and center around Jack’s doubts about his ability and desire to follow through on his stated goals, especially considering he’s deeply uncompromising. I’ve seen so many arguments that Jack would be so great at grad school or being a professional academic and it’s like, yes, in some ways, he would be; I can see him doing good archival research, or moving through the degree requirements in a PhD program, because he’s goal-oriented and willing to put the work in. But! He’s fucking awkward and so much of this field is just ... networking? Collaborating? Taking advice? Listening? Taking social cues? He had this idea about what kind of dissertation he was going to do, and why is he being told no? Can Jack take “no”? Can he adapt? A random woman has been showing up to his beer league games -- maybe this degree wasn’t the right path after all?

Then, all the way down at the bottom here, it’s like, I have sooo many incomplete Greerverse and lady Jack fics, many of them in the 500-3k range, but some of them in the 15k range, which is like, wow, that’s a lot of unfinished fic! The most profitable of these would be Jack and Bitty taking a 15-year anniversary vacation traveling around Europe for six weeks, which Jack unceremoniously kicks off by announcing a desire to transition--and then saying nothing about it for the duration of the trip while Bitty tries to work out how he feels about this, never mind what Jack even wants.

Aaaand last and probably also least, I’ve got like 15k each of an a/b/o fic I tried to write for Tomato and another 15k of a fic where a career- ending injury leads Jack to reassess his entire relationship with his body and therefore he winds up getting a little drag-curious, and it was fun writing about like, Jack moping around the house on crutches feeling sorry for himself, but also the fic has an OC who’s a big part of the story and I just didn’t feel that guy or care to write about him so I quit! Maybe I should scrap those things, along with the rest of this mpreg fic.

So that’s where I’m at ficwise right now! Who knows a) when the things further down this list would see the light of days, and b) which other crazy ideas will crop up that I have to write in the interim?

Thank you so much for asking! I love chatting about my fic, please ask any time.

[davysdead]

Zimbits SYTYCD au

Ok so I’ve been catching up on “So You Think You Can Dance” lately and I can’t get this au out of my head like ok:

In this au Alicia’s a famous dancer and jack just like, falls in love with dancing when he sees his mom do it.

So he decides to pursue it and becomes a contemporary dancer and auditions for the show.

Bitty the spritely freaking ball of light he is has been a tap dancer ever since he can remember

And he just wants to travel with a company and like... succeed so he auditions too

And when jack gets to the auditions they do that thing where they dive into the backstory of the dancer and they’re trying to make him weepy and bring up his past but he’s just like, entering dancing robot mode

And in this au jack still has his bubble butt because have y’all SEEN contemporary dancers backsides, I mean shit fam.

So jack and Bittle both make it through to the second week where they have to do the group choreography thing.

And Jack is all tense cause he doesn’t want to let anyone down, but *of course* he had to paired with this tiny tap dancer and a jazz dancer with a killer mustache *cough* shitty *cough*

But they fuckn do so good together on stage that all the all stars are like “wow bitch”

And since bitty has a smaller frame when it gets towards the final weeks of the show and they need to pair people up for dances, they decide to get rid of their stupid fr*cking boy/girl couple rules and pair bitty and jack together

AND ITS FUCKING MAGICAL

And they do a dance one week where it ends in one of those “we might as well be making out right now, wow you’re face is so close to mine” poses

And they just stand there in that pose for like a solid minute and everyone’s like “hey guys you good”

And they step apart real fast but they still have their arms around each other when they go up for the critique

So then it’s the last week and only bitty and jack are left (sorry SMH y’all’ll get em next time) and in this au imma just let Jack win the whole damn thing, because he deserves it

And him and Bitty have their first kiss right there on national television

And then they tour with the dance company together

Guys I really need help. This is has not left my brain for a hot minute and I needed to *expel* IF ANY OF YOU HAVE MORE INPUT PLS JOIN THE HELL IN IM *EXPLODING*

[ayzrules]

 tagged by @elissastillstands love u girl hope all is well <3

o Name: Alicia o Star sign: Leo/Virgo cusp but i ~identify~ more w virgo tyvm o Height: 5′5″ o Put your iTunes or Spotify on shuffle: "Ace of Hearts” by Zella Day

“Girls Chase Boys Chase Girls” by Ingrid whateverherlastnameis

“Rearrange” by VERITE

“I’ll Rust With You” by Steam Powered Giraffe

“Cardiac Arrest” by Bad Suns

my music is just a random disorganized amalagation of songs i like tbh o Who is your celebrity crush? idk man cillian murphy??? tho i’m more likely to loudly obsess over how pretty an actress is than how good-looking an actor is TBH

o What’s a sound you hate and a sound you love? high heels on tile floor, my spanish prof’s spanish lisp (spanish spanish sounds diff from latin american spanish and they have this lisp that softens the hard “s” and “c” sounds, which is usually pretty annoying but like his isn’t obnoxious. also it probably doesn’t help that he’s like, 30 something and good-looking LOL). i hate uhhhh idk the fucking annoying ass notifciation sound for snapchat if i forget to turn it off in iphone settings o Do you believe in ghosts? nah bro o How about aliens? sure why not but like....miss me w that edgy sci-fi going out to space to find aliens bullshit. ya girl cant even find her way to the local grocery store w/o getting lost o Do you drive? ye but not often cuz i don’t have a car. fml. (i don’t have insurance either so its technically illegal to drive for me LOL)

o What was the last book you read? uhhh for fun i forget I re-read some stuff from middle school over the summer but the most recent book i read for fun that i hadn’t read before was probably “How to Marry a Werewolf (In 10 Easy Steps)” by Gail Carriger which was fuckin LIT yall read her books. Stalk her pinterest/tumblr (@gailcarriger). 12/10 would sell my soul for her.

for school um. idk some dumb textbook. we read two short stories by Emilia Pardo Bazan for my spanish lit class today does that count. she’s lit af too, one of the first spanish “”””feminist””” writers. also her stories have such an ~aesthetic~ i’ll make a pinterest board for one of them probs

o Do you like the smell of gasoline? eh o What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? sprained my wrist or some shit in pre-school. don’t really remember what happened, my friend was pulling me up a slide and then next thing u know i have a purple cast. *shrug emoji*

o Do you have an obsession right now? uh, the aesthetic of Crazy Rich Asians (SUCH. A. GOOD. MOVIE. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH) or like, nanowrimo? i’m hype for it this year, really excited to write my idea thing partly cuz the main char i have planned is just as extra and sarcastic and cynical as i am :^) maybe even more so lmfao

ALSO plants vs. zombies 2 YALL such a GOOD GAME. the puns are great. the music/graphics are great. the dialogue is on point. EVERYTHING IS GREAT.

(one time I had a quest to “defeat peasant zombies”. they were like, “They’re not pleasant, they’re peasant! And that’s terrible!” and I just burst out laughing cuz i have the IQ of a 5 year old and that’s peak comedy to me)

OH ALSO vine compilations boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. i love some good vines YEET

o Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? not really but i don’t forget that they did it either, it just sort of stays as a like extremely neutral “oh yeah so-and-so was a dick to me in 5th grade hmm wonder how they’re doing” o In a relationship? nah LOL my annoying nosy gossipy asian mom keeps bugging me about it. smh.

tagging: @morningstar1399 @livesinabluebox @vampirkaninchen @hugsandnoregrets @officialdarklord @kzombi3 @ anyone else who wants to do it

[justlookfrightened]

Time management

I wrote this to fill this anonymous prompt: If you still want Zimbits prompts, I’m an absolute sucker for any Bob and/or Alicia pov with them seeing how happy Jack has become with Bitty and the SMH team. Bonus if this is the first time they’ve met Bitty as Jack’s bf + roughhousing of any sort. Thank you so much! I love your writing soo much I’m subscribed to you on AO3 😄😄💚

It doesn’t quite hit all the marks – this is set before parents’ weekend of year 2, long before they are boyfriends – but I think it’s in the same spirit. I hope you like it!

And I’m always in the market for new Zimbits prompts!

Alicia stepped on the mat and raised her eyebrows at Bob.

There hadn’t been a mat last time she was here, and if there had been, it would have gotten lost in the detritus that had littered the front porch: battered bikes, broken furniture, maybe even a discarded keg that no one had returned for the deposit.

That hadn’t really bothered her; it was right in line with the frat house decor she remembered from her time at Samwell. But now the porch sported functional furniture (mismatched, but still) and showed evidence of recent sweeping. And it had a welcome mat.

Well, actually, the mat said “Welcome, y’all!” in a cheerful cursive script.

“This is new,” she said.

Bobby just grinned. “Didn’t Jack say Bittle – that kid from Georgia – moved in this year?” he said. “Either it’s his, or the boys are chirping him a little.”

“You know very well Bittle – Eric, isn’t it? – moved in,” Alicia said. “Jack practically mentions him more than he does Shitty, and I’ve never met him. That’s half the reason I decided to come with you.”

The other half, she didn’t say, was to see with her own eyes that Jack was still there, still doing as well as he said he was in their weekly phone calls. He had friends, he said, and a good therapist, and a life.

Bob pushed the door open while Alicia said, “Bob! We should ring the bell.”

“I’m not sure it even works,” Bob said. “It’s open. Let’s see if Jack is here.”

The hall and the living room were empty, but a light shone from the kitchen door, and as she stepped forward (and why was she walking so quietly?) Alicia heard voices from the kitchen, a light tenor that was raised in protest, and Jack’s deeper rumble.

Now she was tiptoeing in earnest, Bob creeping along behind her. She wasn’t sure why she didn’t want to make her presence known, just that she felt like it wouldn’t be a good time to interrupt.

“You give that back, Jack Zimmermann. It’s mine!” the other boy yelled.

She peered around the door to see a smaller blond reaching for the 10-pound bag of flour Jack  held over his head with one hand.

“You told us not to give it to you, Bittle,” he said, meeting the boy’s fury with calm. Alicia thought there might even be a bit of a chuckle in his voice.

“But it’s my flour,” Bittle said, jumping and swiping at the bag, and falling woefully short. He probably wouldn’t appreciate the sentiment, but he was adorable, Alicia thought. His wide brown eyes were fixed on Jack, set off by pink cheeks and slightly mussed hair. He was half a head shorter than Jack, and nowhere near as wide across the chest and shoulders, but his body had a compact sort of strength and grace.

“Yes, and you can have it as soon as you turn in that paper,” Jack said. “Remember? You asked Holster to put it on the top shelf, and you told all of us not to get it down until your paper was done.”

Bittle looked like he was going to make a run at Jack and try to tackle him, but Jack fended him off with his free arm.

“I didn’t ask anyone to get it down,” Bittle said. “I was getting it myself, until my giant of a captain snuck up on me and took it right out of my hands.”

“It wasn’t in your hands yet,” Jack said reasonably. “And I’m pretty sure you still need to work on your paper.”

“I did work on it,” Bittle said. “And my mother is going to be here tomorrow. And your parents are going to be here. I have pies to bake. You know your dad likes my pie.”

Alicia turned to give Bob a look. He hadn’t stopped talking about that pie for weeks.

“Wait,” Eric was continuing. “Does your mom even like pie? Or is she more of a cake person? Never mind. She has exquisite taste. Of course she appreciates pie. I just need to make some!” “They’re not supposed to be here until morning,” Jack said. “You can bake after you finish the paper.”

“I can finish the paper while I’m baking,” Eric said, circling behind Jack and trying to climb on a chair without Jack noticing. “I’ll have 45 minutes while the pies are in the oven.”

Jack turned and grabbed Bittle around the waist like he was a sack of flour himself and lowered him gently to the floor.

“That’s not enough time,” he said. “You said you needed to do well on this paper, and you said it’s due by 6 p.m.”

Bittle now had a spatula extended in front of him like a weapon.

“Give me my flour, please,” he said. “Or I’ll whack you with the spatula.”

“No,” Jack said. “Your education is important, Bittle. Somebody has to take it seriously.”

Bittle started in with the spatula, the flat blade thwacking off Jack’s ribs and shoulders, clearly not making any impression on Jack, who took it for a few moments before wresting the spatula away from Bittle. Bittle was starting to look near tears.

“Bittle,” he said. “I’ll tell you what. You go get your laptop and your notes. I’ll put the flour back on the top shelf. And I’ll sit with you while you finish writing.”

Jack paused to shift the flour to the other hand.

“Then I’ll proofread while you make the pies. You can make corrections and submit it while they bake. Look, I’ll even peel apples while you’re writing.”

Bittle subsided, gave Jack a speculative look, and sighed.

“What makes you think I’m making apple pie?” he asked.

“My dad likes it?” Jack tried.

“You mean you like it,” Bittle said. “But it is a fall classic, so yes, I’m making apple. Fine. You put the flour away and I’ll get my laptop.”

Then, entirely too quickly, he was stepping through the doorway into the hall. He gave a small yelp when he saw them.

“Who – Oh, Mr. Bad Bob – Jack!”

Jack had startled at Bittle’s cry, and was bobbling the flour bag between his hands. It landed in a puff of white as the bag broke, dumping most of the flour on the floor, with a layer of powder settling on the table and counters.

“Sorry, Bittle,” Jack said. “I’ll get –”

“You’d better stay and clean your up your mess,” Alicia said. “Your father and I will go buy more flour. Eric – you are Eric, right? – is there anything else you need from the grocery store?”

Bittle snapped his jaw shut.

“Um, no, unless you want something besides apple or pecan pie,” he finally said. “And may I say, Mrs. Zimmermann, I’m a big fan.”

“Well,” Alicia said. “I have a feeling I’m going to be big fan of yours, so we’ll be even.”

[movedto-dazaipositive]

urban fantasy + jackparse

big thanks to @taggianto and @restfulinsomniac because they yelled at me when I asked them to I couldn’t have done it without you 💙 🌌brought to you by the parseposse 🌌

Bob was human before Alicia turned him

but she turned Bob only after Jack was conceived

so Jack is a halfie from the start

and in their real forms, vampires are unnerving. they have waxy, bloodless skin and sunken eyes but in artificial light they’re sparkling_heart

and Jack gets all his mom’s good looks and his dad’s love for hockey

but they know that putting him in hockey is unfair because humans just can’t compete

he never grows up with hockey as a burden on his shoulders. he’s allowed to be a geeky, chubby history nerd who loves taking photos of random stuff

Jack goes to samwell

the Samwell campus (since I can’t remember canon right now) is next to/in a lil town

right? and Kent is just this lonely sixteen y/o boy who has a little magic and he can talk to ghosts

and in Jack’s first year, this girl on campus and her boyfriend are found dead in the woods behind the Haus

and then weird shit starts going down near the Haus and their Captain, who is superstitious as fuck even by hockey player standards, is like. nope. we gotta do an exorcism

and he puts Shitty and Jack on the task because the frogs gotta be good for something, right? and so they ask around and someone gives them the game of someone who tells them about Kent

Kent lives alone. he got kicked out when he was 13 bc his dad was like, no fucking devils in my house. Kent finds this dilapidated cottage just a little bit into the woods on the other side and the ghosts there are friendly and kind and give him instructions on how to cook and which herbs to pick at what time for witchcraft and which herbs the florist will buy

and Kent survives and occasionally someone will ask him to do an exorcism and Kent will charge them to talk to some poor confused ghost who doesn’t know what’s going on

which is what Jack and shitty ask him to do, or so he thinks, so he shrugs and agrees. and I want it to keep in mind that this is Jack without hockey. he’s a slightly chubby, awkward history nerd who takes a camera everywhere and happens to be half-vampire by complete accident

he’s like, the last person you’d expect to have vampire parents

he’s adorable, okay? Kent can’t deal with this stupidly beautiful soft boy. he just can’t. he reacts in typical Kent fashion by being a jackass to Jack (ha!) who’s like ?? about it

(Kent is going to melt the first time Jack hugs him)

Kent is so going to melt, though. he’s been alone with nothing but ghosts for regular company since he was 13 and Jack is large and warm and he smells like maple syrup and almonds and he’s always wearing dorky sweaters and he’s got a slow, wonderfully calming heartbeat. Kent doesn’t stand a fucking chance

I think Jack doesn’t even need to be a vampire for this fic to work he just needs to not play hockey

anyway. Kent goes with Jack and Shitty to the woods behind the Haus and they a have a campout for 2 days where they toast marshmallows and wait for the ghosts to show up

Kent hears someone crying on the second night after Jack and shitty are asleep. he goes to investigate, like the entire dumbass that he is. who goes it turn out to be? the girl who was killed, ofc. and she’s all bloody and horrifying and shit and I won’t go into details bc I have to sleep in 15 minutes but she scary

but Kent is like, np. hey, can I help you out? what happened? starts talking to her in a normal person voice until she calms down somewhat. and she’s just getting somewhere when shitty pops up behind Kent with a really loud leaf cronch sound and the girl starts screaming again

Kent is like, good job, asshole. and they aren’t getting anywhere with the girl so they just go back to their tents, where Jack is taking photos of the fire and looking Hot As Fuck (ha!) and Kent is extremely flustered bc he is a smol teenagered boy. and they all go to bed.

Kent wakes up just before dawn, yelling. his nightmare is bad enough that he nearly strangles himself trying to get the fuck away from whatever it was and Jack and shitty don’t get what’s going on but Kent is terrified and won’t stop crying so they take him back to the Haus, where Drew, their manager, makes waffles for everyone but especially Kent

who is by this time wearing one of jack’s sweaters and also has their softest blanket draped over him like a cape

(interlude because I fell asleep)

so where I left off, Kent is sitting at the table, eating waffles courtesy of Drew, the SMH’s genderfluid manager and Lardo’s predecessor

Jack is hovering nervously bc Kent has been crying for half the night and vomiting for a quarter of it

but Kent insists he’s okay now, and Jack is hovering because he’s! worried! Kent is tiny and Jack doesn’t want anything to happen to him

Kent, between shoveling waffles into his mouth bc he’s only had them once before in his life, tells them briefly how the girl died

and the way she died is like, gruesome. it’s this horrible thing involving a high school cult and this girl was a witch with real power that got trapped in this thing and they tried to kill her but it didn’t work and it’s bad. let’s not go into too many details about it

and she told her boyfriend, who was a lax bro, and he was like, I’m gonna beat these people up, except there was a demon stuck somewhere that these stupid cultists set free and it killed her and her boyfriend

bad, long drawn out deaths

and once Kent is done eating waffles–which takes a while, because he eats a lot–he slams his fork down and says, grimly, “I’m going to kill them.” and Jack goes ummm? no? ur 16 u r a child?

they fight. loudly. there’s a lot of Jack yelling you are a child and Kent screaming, I’m the only one who can do this

Kent does not like Shouting he has a lot of bad memories of it.

shitty, walking in: we can,,,,,,all go,,,

Jack:

Kent:

and drew is like, the hell you guys are leaving me behind. I’m the only adult in this room and y'all all are kids

restful: (drew has adopted three children? somehow?? but they are all drew’s children and drew loves them)

restful: (one of them lives in the woods and needs more waffles in his life, another goes by the name ‘shitty’, and the third hangs around with the hockey team despite not playing hockey but they are all drew’s kids)

me: (the lax bro feud starts in jack’s sophomore year and it is 100% Drew’s fault. drew didn’t have to humiliate the entire team because zey were bored)

Drew uses zey/zer/zers

drew is a messy edgelord parent

so Kent and shitty and Jack and drew all go on an Investigation

(I feel like this fic should be written like an Enid Blyton novel)

so they around and ask people weird questions until Kent sees someone who has magic. people who have magic (and other supernaturals) show up in Kent’s vision with weird coloured auras.

and they go up to this dude, a Muslim guy in his third year who recognises drew, and this guy is like, yeah totally. I know about that cult of fucking weirdos that followed Allison around. I helped her get a restraining order on them

so they go track down the restraining order. the cop they meet first is this nasty cishet dude who refuses point blank to use Drew’s pronouns, casually calls Kent a slur, and won’t look at Ahmed and sideyes shitty suspiciously. this is where jack’s occasional vampire charm helps (or maybe it’s because Jack looks like a Fellow CisHet) and the cop agrees to dig up the file

Jack is not a Fellow CisHet and is very uncomfortable at being mistaken as such but he plays along because he Must

and everyone acknowledges the brave sacrifice that he’s making

restful: Jack, staring longingly at Kent’s every move. “Uh, yeah. Het. I can pretend to be that.”

me: [about Jack] me? heterosexual? yeah, uh, totally. I’m not. gay. or bisexual. *staring at Ahmed’s ass in those jeans * I’m Straight

Kent, also staring at Ahmed’s ass: I’m not

drew: you’re all dead to me except Ahmed, who can have my number whenever he wants

restful: Ahmed, wide-eyed and trying to decide which of them to stare at. “all of you can have my number, please use it.”

Ahmed: except you, Kenny. also, does anyone know to file for adoption?

the head of the (I had to google this) precinct is a butch Native American woman who shows up to ask them why they want records.

Captain: can someone explain?

Drew: please take me I’m gay

Kent explains the situation to her and she’s like, yeah totally. u can have the records. Allison’s restraining order was before i transferred here but totally

so they go thru the records and find the names of the people Allison restrained. and then they go track down those people

drew gets the captain’s number 'just in case we need some help’ but we all know zer True Motives

(Ahmed and Drew are gonna get together and work out a relationship where Drew gets to have as much sex as zey like and Ahmed gets to remain faithful to zer which is ideal for both of them, partly because Ahmed is just a lil grey ace? he’s uncomfortable calling himself that but he doesn’t like sex nearly as much as Drew does)

anyway, they have a showdown where Ahmed shows off his karate moves and Drew splits zer time between fighting (badly, needs to be rescued) and 😍@ahmed

drew is such a bad fighter because zer entire technique is to flail and screme

Ahmed loves his idiot person, okay? he’s made his peace with it

Kent meanwhile tries to exorcise a demon and he has no fucking clue what’s going on

or what he’s doing. but he cuts a deal with the demon that amounts to 'you can have the cultists but plz go from here, begone etc’. demon is okay with this, partly because Jack is being a threatening bloodsucker in the background and this demon isn’t that strong–demon boi might win. but he might not. boy ain’t chancing it

Jack and Kent become awkward friends who meet for dinner every week and they go trekking in the woods and pine horribly over each other. it’s gross. Kent is still living alone in a cottage in the woods and he still needs to be hugged about 6 times more than he is right now

but on the plus side, he has friends now! Jack and Drew and Ahmed (who’s teaching Kent magic !!) and *looks at smudged writing on hand * Skittles

and the entire hockey team.

and the Captain, who takes one look at this idiot boy and invites him home and feeds him and does it regularly enough that Kent is living there before he knows it

Kent goes back to school. he s t r u g g l e s to get grades good enough to get into samwell next year (he hasn’t been to school in 4 years ok) but he has Jack to help him study!

Jack kisses him at graduation

it’s just a quick little omg you made it kiss but Kent is! so happy! he feels like he’s bursting with it

he has everything he wants, he’s loved and hugged, he has a little kitten who’s his familiar, and even if he doesn’t get into Samwell he’ll still finds have magic and community college and he wants to become a teacher

the end

[ohfawna]

first off, i cannot get enough of your haunted doll adventures, alicia. i’m seriously obsessed with your little antique doll family. second, fawna might just be the love of my life. i want nothing more than for her to get the happy ending she deserves. you’ve done an amazing job of creating a character that is so easy to root for and admire, and i can’t wait to see more of her, especially after that spicy CYOA ending!!

... i picked up all of my old porcelain dolls from my mom’s the other day too, so my entire closet is FULL of probably possessed little glass children, but it’s all good, it’s fine... thank you so much !! i’m literally over here reading about that ending thinking “does this mean dawson is coming to town??” like he isn’t an npc i completely made up smh.

[cyn2k]

Prompt Fic: Shades of Future Past (Zimbits)

I’ve not posted anything original before, and I’ve never written fan fiction.  But I saw the below prompt posted by a friend (original prompt source), and this outline just begged to be written.  Of course, it just kept getting longer and longer.  I’ve left it in outline form, as I truly don’t have the skills to turn it into the monster it threatens to be.

Prompt:

Cleaning out your grandfather’s house after his death you’re going through boxes in his attic when you come across a box of photo albums labeled with your name.

You smile and begin to flip through them. Your smile fades, you don’t recognize many of the people. That is when you realize the dates are from ten to fifteen years into the future.

After the overdose and rehab, Jack returns to his parents’ house in Montreal.  He hasn’t lived there for more than a few months since his first billeting for Midgets years earlier.

He has no idea what he will do with his life.  Hockey is all he knows.

He starts seeing Dr. Turgeon twice a week. He doesn’t say much at first, but an anxiety attack in his 5th week of visits starts their discussions.  He does not talk about hockey or his father. He does talk about how alone he feels. He doesn’t talk about his lack of a future. He doesn’t talk about sex, or whatever that was with Kent.

Bob tries to get him to come to meetings with him (keeping him in view for when he’s ready to return to hockey), but Jack can’t see that far ahead.

Seven months in, one of his Peewee coaches contacts him about coaching some of the kids at his old rink.  He says he’ll think it over.

On his next therapy visit, he brings up hockey for the first time.

Jack’s grandfather died a year after the overdose.

Jack’s grandparents live in California.  All 3 of the Zimmermanns come for the funeral.

Grandma has decided the house is too big for her alone and wants to downsize to a senior community in Arizona, or maybe Florida.  Jack hopes she chooses Florida, as it’s closer to Montreal.

Alicia asks Jack to stay with her after the funeral to help clean out the house.  Bob has commitments and returns to Montreal.

Alicia’s brother and sister-in-law help out after work, but Jack does most of the heavy lifting.

California homes don’t have basements, which Jack finds odd.

They can and do have attics, though, and his grandparents had a lot of stuff.

Grandpa had a lot of WW2 memorabilia from his father’s family, including a number of diaries from both male relatives in the war effort, and female relatives involved in the workplace.  One of his great aunts worked at the Douglas Aircraft factory in Long Beach.

Jack takes one of the books on WWII history and spends the rest of his free time at his grandparents’ house reading all the books he can find in the collection.  Alicia arranges to have the books and diaries shipped home to Montreal, as Grandma and his cousins have no interest in them.  (He will later use 2 of the diaries as source material in his senior thesis.)

The box with Jack’s name on it is underneath a quilt Jack recognizes from a visit just before he entered the Q.  Jack smiles. They’d gone to Knott’s Berry Farm because his grandpa loved the restaurant there. It had been a good visit.

There are 3 photo albums in the box - one a deep red, one blue and gold, and one white.  He doesn’t remember his grandparents taking that many pictures.

Opening the red album, the first picture he sees is a pie. It looks good, but he’s never much cared about sweets. He turns the page.

The pages are filled with pictures of a group of men in front of a rather dilapidated looking house. Most of them are tall, but there’s a much shorter man right in the middle. He had big brown eyes. Jack thinks they look happy. He smiles and turns the page.

The same men, now joined by several women, including one of the shortest women Jack has ever seen, are now in front of a large building.  Jack thinks it’s probably an ice rink.

He takes another look at the last picture, and realizes one of the men looks like his father.  He looks again.  The man has blue eyes.  He is standing next to, and has his arms around, the short blond man he noticed before, and a man with a very bushy mustache.

He flips through several more pages. The group appear to be taking pictures at a college campus, and they look like good friends. The man who looks like his dad makes his skin feel shivery. His eyes are drawn, over and over, to the blond man, who isn’t always smiling.  Sometimes he looks like he’s scolding one of the others.

Jack’s heart hurts. He’s never had a group of friends like that. He puts the album down and picks up another one.

The blue and gold album has a logo on the front that he recognizes.

He opens the page to a Falconers hockey team photo on the ice. He doesn’t want to recognize the man in the #1 sweater with a C on the shoulder. He shivers.

He can’t deny that the next photo is himself - a promo shot of him in the same #1 sweater. He looks so old.  There’s a small scar on his chin, and maybe he’s broken his nose at least once.

The next several pages are game shots.  He glances at them, recognizing scrimmages and game shots with other teams. He does not see any that look like the Aces.

He turns the page, catches a glimpse of silver, and shuts the book quickly before he can swear whether he saw a certain large cup.

He puts the book back in the box, and takes several deep breaths before lifting out the white album.

On the first pages he sees have photos of himself with his parents.  Looking at his parents first, he thinks they look good.  He doesn’t recognize the dress his mother is wearing, but thinks they must have been tired, as they look older. He smiles.

He doesn’t recognize himself at first.  His hair is shorter than he’s ever remembered wearing it, and he looks like his dad.  The suit doesn’t look anything like his style. He flips the page.

The next set of pages features pictures of a smiling blond man with beautiful big brown eyes and a radiant smile, surrounded by what must be his parents.Jack recognizes the blond from the red album.

The next two pages hold pictures of a group of people, all featuring the blond man from the previous page. Many of them look like the men from the first album. There are only two women in any of the pictures - the short Asian woman from the red album, and an African-American woman who seems to be coaxing the others into place. Jack wonders why he’s not there.

Two of the pictures were taken when everyone seems to be laughing hard, except the blond man, who looks indignant. He turns the page.

His own face smiles back at him, along with the big eyes and wide smile of the blond man standing next to him.

While Jack-in-the-picture has a regular tie, the blond man wears a bow tie.  They are the same color, as are the suits they’re wearing. Jack’s smile fades. He turns the page.

Their parents have joined them in this picture.  Everyone is smiling. Their moms are wearing corsages.

Jack feels light-headed.  He shuts the album and places all 3 back in the box, carrying it downstairs.

He does not discuss the box with his mom, but decides to bring it home.

They finish clearing out the attic two days later.  Alicia and her mother have been researching real estate online. Grandma still leans towards Arizona, although she might stay in California to be closer to friends.

Alicia and Jack return to Montreal.   The WWII books and diaries he’d picked out appear on one of his shelves, replacing some of his hockey trophies.

Jack looks through the photos once more, avoiding a certain silver image in the Falconers album, before sealing the box and hiding it in the back of his closet.

He feels hopeful for the first time since waking up in the hospital.  Since long before that, really.

He contacts his Peewee coach and agrees to start helping out with the kids. Alicia and Bob are thrilled, but decide to say nothing.

Dr. Turgeon is the first person he talks to about Kent.  While his parents know he was with Kent, they’ve never talked about it. Progress is made.

A few months later, Jack talks to his parents about attending college.  He doesn’t let himself think about the box in the closet, but is pleased when his mom brings up Samwell as an option.

He mostly forgets about the box in the attic.

At Samwell, he chooses history as a major, with a focus on the 20th century and WWII. He joins the hockey team.

Two years later, when he first sets eyes on the small blond frog on the Haus tour, he can’t remember why he looks familiar. This irritates him.

The next three years pass.  Jack graduates and joins the Falconers.  He does not remember the box at all. He and Bitty come out to their friends and families.

Bitty graduates and moves to Providence, to no one’s surprise. Jack takes him to dinner and proposes 2 weeks later, also to no one’s surprise. They marry the next summer.

Bitty’s mom makes a photo album of the wedding.

Bitty keeps a photo and scrapbook of his time with the Falconers.  Jack notices, but doesn’t pay much attention.

In his fourth year with the Falconers, his first year with the C, the team goes all the way. Jack comes out on his Cup Day, which he spends in Montreal with his family and most of the SMH gang.

Jack is traded to the Schooners a year later. He leads his new team to the second round of the playoffs, but they are eliminated by the Sharks.  He is traded again, to the Habs.  Jack suspects his dad may have been involved.

Bitty isn’t thrilled about the paperwork for living in Canada, but does enjoy spending time with his in-laws while Jack is away.

Bitty’s working on his second cookbook, and Alicia has taken to making guest appearances on his vlog.  Bob makes occasional outrageous appearances, leading to the trending hashtags #badbobbakes.

They win the Stanley Cup two years later. Jack is 32 and starting to think about retirement. He doesn’t think too hard around the Cup, because you can’t take chances with Cup magic.

Jack and Bitty have a house and a dog, and perhaps the cat that keeps showing up for chicken that Bitty may slip her from time to time, and are thinking of starting a family. Suzanne and Alicia may be tag-teaming them.

They return to Samwell for Jack and Shitty’s 10-year reunion, after Jack’s second Cup win with the Habs. (He just might have had some thoughts about that). His Cup day is a week later, back in Montreal.

The SMH gang decide to throw their own reunion. They’ve rented a house, and Bitty bakes. The gang devours the first three like they’ve not seen pie in years. (As if Bitty would ever leave his friends pie-less.)

 Jack arranges with Lardo for a photographer friend of hers to come with them and take photos while they tour the campus and spend time together. Jack has his own camera, but knows that time with friends is more important than taking the right photo. The photographer gets his own pie.

The photographer sends him a digital file, but also sends Jack a photo album of the best shots. The album cover is red.

He opens the album to a photo of one of Bitty’s pies.  He turns the page.  There are Ransom and Holster, Shitty and Lardo, Chowder and Cait (no one calls her Farmer any more), Ford and Nursey and Dex, and Jack and Bitty in front of the Haus, which is looking even worse than when he’d lived there. And another of them in front of Faber.

And he remembers. He does not look any further.

He does, however, gather the wedding album, the Falconers album, and the reunion album, and places them in a box. After sealing the box, he asks Bitty to label the box with his name. It sits on the chair in their bedroom.

On Cup Day, he whispers his wish when no one is looking.

When Jack and Bitty get home, the box is gone.  He’ll pick it up the next time they go to visit his parents.

[legojacques]

Legojacques’ Tumblr Fics Masterlist

Hey, you! Yes, you!

Are you interested in reading fics where Kenny P accidentally adopts a dragon? Or, fics that feature his dark-haired teammate with the ambiguous basketball nickname? Or, how about multiple fics from his cat’s point of view? Or, even just some good, ol’ positive fics featuring our favourite Las Vegas captain because you’re sick of the hate in the tags. It’s all here!

Parse not your jam? No problem!

I’ve got some classic Zimbits for you. AU fics where Jack is a little shit who pretends he can’t speak English? I’ve got that! How about the softest of fics where Jack and Bitty take the baby out for a drive? You betcha! A fic where Bitty is the face of Samwell and suddenly Jack is interested? Yup!

I’ve got so many fics and headcanons for you, featuring rare pairs such as: Whiskey/Dex, Jack /Ransom, and yes, even the very brief post that helped launch Bitty/Johnson.

So come on down to my newly organized master list of my writing! Waiting for you are bite-sized ficlets and posts that are all organized by pairing and labeled for all your fic-finding needs!

* = Personal favourite and recommended reading

–

Bitty/Jack (Zimbits)

*-Jack and Bitty makeup after a fight

-Jack likes to take Bitty to museums

-Jack interferes when Bitty is trying to film his cooking show

*-It’s Always Been You (Ao3) - AU, Jack and Bitty accidentally swap phones.

*-Jack and Bitty both own bakeries and Jack can’t stop sneaking over to Bitty’s (AU)

-Jack as a parent (Bullet points, ZimmerKids)

*-Bitty eats his icecream and Jack can’t look away

*-Bitty’s bakery has a break in and Jack is the cop on the case (AU)

*-Bitty models for Samwell promotional material (AU where Bitty is not on the hockey team)

-Domestic, quiet mornings with Jack and Bitty

-Bitty is the bachelor on a dating show (AU)

-Bitty accidentally gets sent back in time (Back to Future AU)

-Bitty feeds Jack (slight nsfw suggestions, bullet points)

*-Jack gets back into bed on Christmas morning (ZimmerKids)

-Bitty make an innuendo about Santa and the group chat explodes

-Jack is building a deck and Bitty calls Alicia

-Jack misses Bitty

*-The baby won’t stop crying until they put her in the car and drive around (ZimmerKids)

*-Jack is a writer and Bitty is his housekeeper. Jack pretends he doesn’t speak English. (Love Actually AU)

-Jack wants Bitty to model for his photography class (AU)

-Jack is turned into a cat and Bitty takes care of a stray that he found (AU)

*-Bitty is an Apple store employee and Jack broke his phone (AU)

*-Jack loses his kid in a game of hide and seek (ZimmerKids)

*-Jack catches his kids making a mess in the kitchen (ZimmerKids)

*-Bitty works in a grocery store is annoyed that Jack won’t put anything back in the right place (grocery store AU)

*-Grocery store AU bonus innuendos (Bullet points)

*-Bitty is a cookbook writer and Jack buys his book (AU)

-Jack has a panic attack and hides in the same closet as Bitty

-Jack has a minor anxiety break down and calls Bitty

*-Jack stops for fast food with his twin kids

*-Jack shows his affection by bringing Bitty small gifts

*-Bitty gets snowed in and trapped in a small town

-Bitty is forced to visit a museum and Jack is a historical reenactor

*-Jack is an undercover spy at a party

-Jack has a photography exhibit but then the police show up

-Bitty’s thoughts on chicken tenders

*-Bitty, Jack, and their twin toddlers celebrate Easter

Bitty/Jack/Kent OT3 (Pimbits, PB&J)

-Kent can’t stand Bitty’s fannypack

-Kent and Bitty get bored of Jack’s documentaries

*-Jack and Bitty come to see Kent (Kit POV)

-The boys go fishing (Bullet point)

Bitty/Kent (Bittyparse)

-Anything Can Happen (AO3) - Kent invites Eric to spend the weekend with him in Las Vegas.

*-Bitty feels bad that Kent is drinking all alone at the bar (AU)

-Bitty and Kent go shopping for things in their apartment

-Bitty returns Kent’s cat (AU)

Kent/Jeff Troy a.k.a Swoops (Parswoops, Troyson)

-Kent gets in an argument with Swoops

-Kent and Swoops watch rom coms

*-Kent stresses over what to get for Swoops’ birthday

*-Kent and Jack compete against each other (background Zimbits)

*-Jeff is a photographer for the Aces (AU)

-Kent makes sure the baby is okay in the middle of the night

*-The Aces play matchmaker

*-Kit is Kent’s (reluctant) guardian angel and brings him a boyfriend (Kit POV)

-Kent shows Swoops pictures of Kit in a bar

*-Everyone draws the wrong conclusion from a picture Kent posts online

-Swoops shows up unexpectedly on Christmas morning

-Kent and Swoops are at the olympics where they meet a famous figure skater 

Nursey/Dex (Nurseydex)

-Nursey finds out he has to interview the guy he slept with last night (AU)

-Nursey wakes up in the hospital

-Dex gets a bloody nose and Nursey takes care of him

-Nursey gets a bit jealous and possessive

*-Nursey keeps writing love poems for someone and Dex gets jealous

-Nursey has a public sex kink (slight nsfw suggestions, bullet points)

Kent/Tater (Patater)

-Tater keeps saying “I ship it” incorrectly (Tater/Kent)

-Tater and Kent visit Kent’s mother and look through his childhood photos (Tater/Kent)

-Tater and Kent have rival restaurants (Short summary, Bob’s Burger’s AU, Kent/Tater)

-Kent has a hairless cat and Tater has a pug; they bond over ugly pets

-Kent and Tater keep their relationship a secret

-Kent is learning Russian when Tater gets traded to the Aces

Other Pairs

-Tango sees Bitty for the first time (one-sided crush, Bitty/Tango)

*-Shitty is the best art critic (Shitty/Lardo)

-Holster thinks Jack is trying to steal his best friend (Jack/Ransom)

*-Whisky keeps breaking things to get Dex to fix them (Whiskey/Dex)

-Whiskey and Dex can’t agree when their anniversary is (Whiskey/Dex)

-Kent runs into his childhood best friend (Kent/OMC)

-Bittyholtz musings (Bullet points)

-Kent misses Jack (one-sided, Kent/Jack)

-Dex kisses Holster at a party (Dex/Holster)

*-Kent writes a letter to Jack (Kent/Jack)

-Johnson realizes he’s not meant to end up with Bitty (Johnson/Bitty)

-In which Bitty ends up with Shitty (AU, short summary, Shitty/Bitty)

-They both hate hockey team (Editor in Chief/Fry Guy)

-Bob has a twin brother and through a mix-up, Alicia thinks he’s his twin (Bob/Alicia)

-Jack’s birthday brings back memories for Kent (Kent/Jack)

-Ransom and Holster propose to each other (Ransom/Holster)

-Bob buys Alicia hot chocolate

-Holster comforts Ransom after he’s hurt (Ransom/Holster)

Non-Pairing

-If Bitty were on a Great British Bake Off-esque kind of show (Bullet points)

-Jack as a children’s author (Bullet Points)

-Holster and Ransom play Calvinball

-Jack and Ransom smuggle Canadian snacks (Headcanon)

-Senor Bun’s POV (Bullet points)

-SMH’s childhood toys (Bullet points)

-Lego Bitty meets Lego Jack (Bullet points)

-Hockey mom Lardo (Bullet points)

-Headcanon of Holster as an actor

-Headcanon of Holster as an actor pt 2 (Bullet point)

-Headcanons for Swoops (Bullet point)

-Roll Up the Rim is back; Jack and Ransom are excited

-Jack shows Tater how to Roll Up the Rim

-Jack shoots a heartwarming Amazon Prime commercial

-Bitty and Tater are private detectives (AU, bullet points)

-Tater and jam (headcanon)

*-Little Jack falls asleep on Bob

*-Holster and Ransom’s new Friday night routine

-Ransom discovers Holster can be a coral reef sometimes

Kent Parson Centric, Non Pairing

-Mama Parson thoughts (Bullet Points)

-Kent cries over cats he wants to adopt (Short headcanon)

-Kent and Bitty as Lilo and Stitch

-Kent and the rookie player

-Kent is shocked to find Swoops’ real name from Johnson

-Kent shoots a heartwarming Amazon Prime commercial

-Johnson shows up with a new cat for Kent

-Kent stumbles home drunk and upset

-Kent babysits for his teammate and plays kittens

Kit Purrson Centric

-Kent smuggles his cat and gets caught (Short headcanon)

-Kent and the Purrito

-Kate Pawson, Kent’s other cat (Bullet points)

-Kit and her bow tie collection (Bullet points)

*-How to (Kind Of) Train Your Dragon Pt 1 - Kent accidentally acquires a dragon

*-How to (Kind Of) Train Your Dragon Pt 2 - Kent is a dragon dad now

*-Kit goes missing (Sixth Sense AU, Warning: off screen animal death)

*-Kit is a witch’s familiar (Kit POV)

-Kent saves a kitten at a kid’s birthday party

*-Kit wants to come along on Kent’s trips

*-Kent is sad and Kit wants to cheer him up (Kit POV)

*-Kent’s childhood cat, Snowball (cat POV, off-screen animal death)

-Kit climbs the Christmas tree

Kit and Junior the Puppy Series

*-Kit and Junior: the new puppy

-Kit and Junior: the monster in the house

-Kit and Junior: Junior asks too many questions

-Kit and Junior: Swoops comes to visit

-Kit and Junior: Junior is afraid of fireworks

-Kit and Junior: Junior breaks something

-Kit and Junior: Kent and Swoops finally admit they like each other (Parswoops)

-Kit and Junior: Kent gets sick (Parswoops)

[wheeloffortune-design]

Alicia Zimmermann stared in movies in the 90′s

One of these was the story of a teenage girl, figure skater (she had a stunt double), who was on her way to win all the medals when, because insert reason here, she gets sent to live in Nashville with her father, whom she never met before.

She misses skating but discovers that, with her equilibrium, she can do horse acrobatics in a new kind of rink. I think it’s called vaulting. 

She also falls in love with a tall, dark haired, aloof young man who tends to the horses and plays soft country music on his guitar. 

And when she inevitably has to go back to the North, she gets heartbroken again, but fear not, because he follows her and learns to skate so he can go ask her out after a practice (or AFTER SHE JUST FINISHED HER SHOW AT THE REGIONALS, THIS IS A 90′S TEENAGE GIRL MOVIE IT NEEDS MORE CLICHÉS AND BIGGER DECLARATIONS OF LOVE. CAN WE GET THE HORSE ON THE ICE???)

Anyway this movie is SO TACKY and Alicia can’t stand to watch herself. It’s become kind of a meme on tumblr because half the teenage girls wanted to be Alicia, the other half wanted to date her. 

The SMH chat is full of memes from this movie, sometimes Holster can spend entire days communicating with only pics of Jack’s mom. Jack is weirded out, because for him, it’s a traditional Christmas movie he used to watch religiously with is dad. 

The DVD of that movie is Shitty’s most prized possession. 

[thegoldenmisfits]

hi!! happy pride month!! do you have any SMH queer headcanons?

Happy pride!!!!!!

Queer SMH Headcannons

-so jack didn’t really pick up on anything to do with his sexuality until he was probably 16/17ish or so. He grew up not having developed crushes on anybody so for a long time it just never really was important. But once he went into the Q and just,,,, really really liked Kent,,, he was like I have never felt so desperate for another friend’s attention at all times. I have never missed being around a friend like I do Kent when we’re apart for just a day. This is what a crush must feel like. Since jack has never had a crush on a girl he was like, welp. guess this means I’m gay. It never really felt right to jack to identify with being gay?? Internalized homophobia aside, jack just couldn’t really accept himself under that label. It didn’t feel right; he still thought girls were hot but he only had ever had feelings for a boy. Jack didn’t intend to come out to his parents but,, he’s awful with phones,, and a text that was meant for Kent was sent to Alicia (which was and still is mortifying). So he and his mom had a talk. He came out as Gay(?) and she surprised him with being Bi. Samwell was when jack developed stronger feelings towards men and women. Obviously only pursuing the feelings he may have slightly had towards women because everything leading up to the overdosed convinced him he could never survive if he was anything but straight. Nobody knows jack isn’t straight. Jack doesn’t know hat he is. But in the future a boy will help him learn he’s demisexual/romantic, and that he’ll survive whatever life throws at him with a little help from his friends.

Bitty- Bitty has the strangest feelings when he’s home. Knowing, accepting, and embracing that he’s gay at Samwell has made it so hard to keep his mouth shut once off campus and down south. All throughout the day with mama and coach he has to prevent himself from blurting out something along the lines of “im super gay. super proud. and super in love and I want to gush all about it”. Watching what he says all the time has made him quieter and more reclusive at home. Only really coming down to bake, work out, and eat meals with the family. His mother isn’t sure what to do but coach says to let him work through it on his own.

-nursey knew he was not straight for a long time. But he didn’t want to think about it. If he didn’t think about it, it wasn’t real, his heart wouldn’t race excessively, his palms wouldn’t sweat and his fingers wouldn’t tremble.Upon discovering his bisexuality, he has attempted to come out to his mother more times than he can count. He successfully has come out, well, never. As soon as he hints towards being attracted to another gender, he turns it into aesthetic appreciation. Nothing more. His mother gets aesthetic appreciation. She was a nude model in college after all ("how do you think I met your father?"), much to nursey’s horror upon learning.

Lardo- lardo has no clue what she is and she frankly doesn’t give a fuck. Labels never concerned her. She’s just gonna go have fun and get laid. She likes how uncomplicated life is like this. Why fuck it up?

Dex- Samwell has forced Dex to come to grips with a few things1. He’s attracted to men2. He’s not straight3. No one can ever know4. He absolutely hates dining hall food and owes Bitty his life. Dex likes being in the closet in some aspects. He doesn’t like to talk or really even think about it, so nobody knowing makes talking about it impossible, and him feel much more comfortable.

[swiftkick404]

Just thinking about Harry Potter and missed opportunities in canon...

(and writing about some of them here:

The Second Splinter [WIP, 5 chapters, 30,000 word count])

I have so many things to include in this fic, but I'm wondering if there’s anything I’ve overlooked and might like to include....

I already have plans for minor supporting characters like Angelina, Cho, and Alicia....the Creevey brothers, Lee Jordon, Draco Malfoy, new elements of the Death Eater-influenced MoM.... and of course the main cast in the castle.... I really want to explore the networks in place supporting both “sides” of the conflict, as well as parties that are more ambiguous in their allegiances.

(I’m not doing much with the main trio, the main members of the Order, and the Bigger Baddies ....mostly because their possible alternative avenues of action and development have been pretty well covered already. And tbh I’m not particularly inspired by them for some reason aha)

Snape has (probably?) received a lot of attention as well in fandom and it’s not like I need to explore his character in TSS but I like how I’ve planned things for him. He’s definitely someone that makes for a great anti-hero, because he absolutely does despicable things...and he also does do heroic things on occasion...? He’s very skewed in his perspective and actions, which is always fun for me as a writer.

BUT Ginny, Luna, Pansy, Zacharias, Neville, and Blaise are getting the most attention in the story.... UGH I just have somehow fallen so in love with them all.... I feel like they would just have great chemistry together?? 

Neville is morally ideological and active, you know? And then Smith is morally-inclined but also a bit of a dick??? and Blaise, from what very very little we see of him, appears to act with motivation along self preservation, but maybe there is room for moral-sensitivity if not ever direct action? AND he is bold enough, or confident enough, to admit to Draco Malfoy that a blood-traitor like Ginny is attractive lol (Maybe that was Jo’s weak way of reinforcing to the readers how “desirable” Ginny is -- but i want to take it as a Blaise character development moment instead) So anyway, I see a lot of potential for further development and expansion of his character. (I think the fandom likes to explore Theodore Nott in this direction more often, maybe?? and Blaise seems to be a ‘play-boy’ friend to Malfoy usually.... meh. I have no need for that.)

ANYWAY. I’m also looking forward to Draco’s development. There’s a really, really awesomely fun feature to his character that’s introduced and utilized in HBP but never fully explored in canon and is dropped, I think, entirely by book seven... and I am going to play with that part of his characterization a bit in TSS... He is clearly a driven, clever, capable character in the ‘right’ circumstances and with the right sort of task, you know?

Also - I’ve mentioned this before - but Luna’s crypto appreciation and interactions with Olivander are going to feature. I just feel like that’s a WASTED opportunity. I mean, a wand maker that goes above and beyond to find and research applications of tissue samples from a Crumple Horned Snorkak??? PRICELESS. Also, would Luna be opposed to using previously undiscovered specimens in wand-making? I don’t know. She doesn’t seem the type to necessarily be automatically opposed..... Maybe she would be curious about application of newly discovered magical elements in wand making. Damn, I am!

AND PANSY. Man. I want more depth and complexity to Pansy Parkinson so damn much. Who really wants to write another shallow character who is a stand in for the stereotypical entitled mean girl. Who actually wants to read about that! smh. I mean, shallow and unpleasant people exist in real life, sure, but I don’t see a very engaging function for them in stories beyond temporary roadblocks. I want MORE. I want to know why she feels the need to cling to someone like Malfoy -- and I would like it to go beyond materialistic ends.... I want her to be nasty and morally-depraved but I also want her to be dimensional!! She could be strong, too, you know.... I want a girl who is bad and broken, but breathing. And emphasis on bad. She can be self-centered, clingy, mean spirited, but why, you know?

Ginny. Oh, the love I have for Ginny. She calls Fleur, Phlegm. Which is all things mean and childish and sort of hilarious??? She talks flippantly about her much ignored trauma, she insists on her inclusion in fighting Voldemort, she can’t talk around the boy she’s crushing on but never shuts up around her family. I just like her, okay? She grows up in the boonies with no money and a whole lot of pure-blood family history and legacy and people know her -- but only by reputation of her idealistic and rebellious family and she still has to fight to make something of herself.... I don’t know, but she seems to have a lot of potential to me? With six older brothers, she has STRONG OPINIONS, ok, I am certain of it and I love it.

My favorite thing about Ginny is that she must have tried to destroy the Diary!Horcrux and found that its indestructible by mundane means --it being a horcrux and all-- and so her solution was to throw the thing in the toilet. Where all the other shit collects. HA! Gaddamn, I am totally going to write that scene.....

So much to write!!