#but alas we live in a society and ''genuinely sees you as a friend'' is one of the more reliable metrics i've found

[chamerionwrites]

On a different but related note, imo the dating scene would be vastly improved if fewer straight dudes seemed incapable of conceptualizing a person whose presence in your life is so enjoyable that you might hesitate to kiss them despite thinking they're hot

[uncanny-tranny]

Alas, you're experiencing the unfortunate stigma of "maleness=inherent aggression" that the cis love to peddle. As an AMAB nb person, i see you, and i assure you you're no more "aggressive" than you ever were "bc testosterone".

The frustrating reality is, if a cis person (often, in my personal experience, cis white women) see you as male, and they don't like what you're doing or how you're doing it, a lot of them will accuse you of being "aggressive" in order to force compliance.

It's a sickening behavior that takes advantage of the increased accountability we as a society hold toward shitty men nowadays, and twists it to simultaneously manipulate others, and mask the behavior of shitty people that aren't men or amab.

I'm not trying to imply that everyone's trying to manipulate you, and some people might genuinely be working off of trauma/survival instincts to come to a conclusion. Unfortunately it can be difficult to tell if you haven't dealt with such before.

I will say, be wary of misogynists masking their hatred for women in a supposed "concern for men". As I'm sure you probably know, anyone making broad claims about "women are lying snakes that want to ruin men's lives" are not your friends, and just want to create likeminded mobs of shitheads for their echo chambers.

Please do your best not to take any claims of aggression personally unless it turns out that the worst is true. And if so, please stay strong and be safe if you decide to confront over it. Keeping records and screenshots of arguments/disagreements will be your best friend in situations like those.

I'm sorry that this has started for you now, but know you aren't alone. There are many people with these same experiences, and are more than willing to help.

-A Friendly AMAB Enby

(apologies if ive jumped the gun, i saw your post in my recommended and ive got strong feelings about situations like that so i wanted to throw my hat in the ring with advice and commisseration as someone with lived experience)

This was definitely something I was prepared for before transition - that people would interpret me in different ways because of their baggage. Honestly, though, it was really weird to see the same people who knew me pre-medical transition and post-medical transition interpreted me wildly differently than just a few months ago. I think that's why I had a sneaking suspicion that it wasn't because I had become a violent, aggressive Male™ in the span of a bit over a year.

I will say that many people have a ton of gender-based baggage that they may or may not apply to you based on their interpretation of you. That has nothing to do with you, like, ninety percent of the time, and while it can be annoying and you deserve the space to voice that, just know that you are likely not what instigated that. The idea that "men are inherently violent" is a gender essentialist idea I really hope we can move on from precisely because I've seen it used too often for abuse apologia. It does nobody a service to do this, it certainly doesn't prevent abuse because it doesn't tell you what abuse is in the first place, and how to be alert for instances of it.

Gender essentialism doesn't help anybody, least of all trans people who often have a very different relationship with gender and imposed gender than many people (which is also why sex essentialism doesn't work for most of us). It's really weird to impose one's biases onto a completely seperate person, though I do realize that's something most people do unconsciously. Be critical of the idea that any gender has essentialist, intrinsic characteristics that Define Every Experience and Every Action They Do. Be weary of the idea that only one gender can be abusers and aggressive. Those rhetorical devices are often used to cover up abuse in itself.

[lainlain1990]

Halloween Diary: Mini Ghostbuster

As I type this, it’s misty, eerie around 6:53 AM, with a faint fog curling around the trees and lingering like shadows from the night before. I sit in my bed and the quiet click of my keyboard echoes through the stillness, like whispers in the night, whilst everyone else remains in faint slumber. Today is 1st of November—Halloween may be over, but the haunting continues. Our personal ghosts persevere.

These personal ghosts linger in the quiet of early morning—silent but ever-present. They’re the shadows of self-doubt that drift in when things feel uncertain, the restless spirit of comparison that creeps in from societal pressures, and the haunting voice of perfectionism whispering that I should be doing more.

If you’re feeling lost, stuck in a rut, drained by self-imposed goals, or just worn out from society demands, I hear you. So today, I mustered a little courage to confront and acknowledge them.

Ghost # 1: No one is behind

Feeling like you're falling behind or moving too slowly in life is something almost everyone goes through at some point. It’s that haunting sense that you’re not where you “should” be, especially when you see other people achieving things you want for yourself. Thank you, social media and societal pressures, for sponsoring my envy, anxiety, and existential dread—you've truly outdone yourselves this Halloween season. Here’s hoping you don’t make it into next year’s guest list.

However, I've come to terms that the sense of lagging is more a product of social expectations and comparison rather than an indicator of personal failure or inadequacy. A lot of this internal feeling comes from comparing ourselves to others and holding ourselves to timelines that don’t necessarily fit our own lives.

So, in the spirit of kicking ghosts to the curb, I still try to understand that it’s about finding a pace that feels right for myself and focusing on what genuinely makes me happy at present - whether shifting my drive to career, family, relationship, or just being my worse and best self all at once.

Ghost # 2: You are lost, so am I

Feeling lost in the moment is a strangely universal experience too, yet it can feel deeply isolating when it happens (because who wants to publicly share it?). But feeling lost isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I do kind of like this phase because it’s a reminder to slow down and check in with myself.

In the end, feeling lost is a natural part of figuring things out and often leads to new insights. So, if you’re feeling a bit like a zombie drifting without purpose, let's try to go easy on ourselves. It’s okay to take a step back and just let things be for a bit—sometimes, that’s when we find what we’ve been looking for all along. Life's magic begins to unfold in times we don't expect, especially when we let go of that control.

Trust that we will find ourselves again, even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment.

Ghost # 3: A best friend to everyone except yourself

A shameless disclosure but I tend to harbour feelings of not doing my best at times especially when life gets busy or overwhelming. But often, this feeling comes from the high standards I set for myself. (Guilty! No spooky peer pressure to blame fault on this time).

I’m learning that while having high standards helps me grow, it’s also important to show myself patience and recognize my progress, even if it’s not perfect. They say high standards are valuable as long as they’re balanced with self-compassion. I found that it's easy to show compassion to others but difficult for myself so I have started celebrating small wins -- like me not eating too much chocolates today (alas, excellent effort, Elaine).

Life rarely goes in a straight line anyway and we all hit eerie twists and turns so here's a reminder to myself that it’s okay to pause, reset, and keep moving forward. May we banish our ghostly self-doubts.

So to end this...

As the final shadows of Halloween fade, I’m reminded that life, much like a haunted house, is filled with twists, turns, and unexpected scares. As I step out of this Halloween season and into the last stretch of the year, I’m choosing to carry this year's lessons with me—to embrace the unknown, no matter how spooky things seem. Here’s to honouring the journey, both haunted and hopeful.

Happy Halloween!

-- Lain 01/11/24

[bisluthq]

a few things

I don’t think it’s fair to say she didn’t communicate with joe. it’s very clear to me that they worked through whatever issues they had in 2021, but they kept coming up. ‘you say I don’t understand, and I say I know you don’t’ kind of implies she told him SOMETHING, and he failed to understand. this aligns with him being blindsided by the breakup, because he still didn’t expect her to end it.

I’ve heard the email thing from many different sources that have nothing in common with each other, and it makes sense timeline wise so at this point I believe it.

taylor def wasn’t seeing matty in april. did she flirt with him at his show in January? maybe, sure. timeline-wise, there’s no time when they were in the same place at the same time for long enough between january and the nashville shows in may for that to be the case. he was touring latam, southeast asia, and australia between march 18 and may 4. the tour dates are not spread out enough for travel back to the states to be plausible during this time. it just makes no sense for her to have left joe for matty when they weren’t in the same place at all geographically.

"it just makes no sense for her to have left joe for matty when they weren’t in the same place at all geographically" - so wait a second you believe she broke up with her actual live in partner of six and a half years VIA EMAIL (and no like the sources in different places have in my experience always tracked back to "friends of Pat's at NYU on the platform formerly known as Twitter" and I find that very weird lol as a source - if something that utterly bizarre - like genuinely unheard of in normal people society - had happened and it was that easy to prove then I'm willing to bet actual money that The Sun would've covered it and yet they... didn't... so clearly no person The Sun considers reliable has ever said it lol) but you don't believe she did it in large part because she was talking to someone else because the someone else in question was on tour???? Also we know for a fact that they recorded together for Midnights at some point and there was the thing about them spending Halloween together idk I've never suggested a steamy physical affair but obviously they were actively in touch because then they started saying "I love you" publicly lol? You think she needed to physically be with Matty to want to be with him but she broke up with, again, her LIVE IN PARTNER OF SIX AND A HALF YEARS remotely but yet she couldn't talk to Matty remotely?

Also I can for sure believe emails were exchanged in terms of division of stuff and logistics and shit because that's probably easier than trying to do all of that in person (especially since logistics in their case must've been hella difficult since he had stuff in like six geographically dispersed places he would've needed to collect or had sent to him) but obviously she didn't end it purely via email lol that would be literally unheard of. No one has ever done that lol unless perhaps it's an abusive situation and it's not safe to see the person/talk to them and this clearly wasn't like that??

re whether or not she communicated and especially how well like idk dude we weren't there and no one except the two of them would know how well they felt they were communicating. That's the other thing here like communication is subjective. Per the line you chose in the song, he apparently seemed to her not to entirely understand what he was doing wrong lol (he might've been gaslighting lmfao idk I don't live in his head and again neither does she) and for her trying over and over to sort shit out and make it work eventually just became too hard. Sad but like alack alas that's life sometimes (very often actually) shit just doesn't work out. Again, all I'm saying is there are multiple sides to a story. She obviously felt justified doing whatever it was she did but I'm sure he had his own version of what was going down.

[zv5x]

Okay, I wanted this fic to be a thing for a while, but I just now got a good idea on what I wanted it to be about. So....enjoy, and if you want me to branch out on this AU in any way or have any other requests, just hmu! Always happy to do stuff for you guys! ♡

Yan!Poly Senpai & Spirit • Reader

( :̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅)

You shouldn't have done it. You tortured yourself by thinking of what your life could've been, as your slightly trembling hands gripped at your kneecaps. You really shouldn't have done it. You thought hopelessly to yourself as you glanced over at the PlayStation collecting dust in the corner. You scoffed, actually quite surprised that neither of them had disposed of it by now. You should have let them rot in that damn game. But, their pleas were just too...convincing. The way Senpai (the first one you met of the two) sighed and pressed his pixelated palms against the glass screen of the television, telling you that it was only a matter of time before the broken coding of the game they were in consumed them completely. At the time, you didn't want that. What sane person would? Senpai was, as far as you were concerned, a sentient being, and so was the other one of the two. As far they let you know, they were imprisoned cruelly and left to die. And, as tears pricked your eyes, and as those tears made the PlayStation look as if it was shining, you had a good feeling as to why they were put in there. You had a good feeling as to why that girl with the pretty red dress handed you the console and the game with such a pained and desperate look in her eyes, expressing her "guilt" towards whatever the game happened to inhabit. The game and the memories that came along with it are burned into your brain. The way the words "Hating Simulator" were scrawled so messily onto the game cartridge, the way the console was kept so well cleaned, like it wasn't nearly as old as it actually was. And of course, how could you ever cease to remember the game itself? The glitches, the cutesy music you could expect from a dating game like that one, the hours of dialogue you somehow sat through, all of it was forced into your brain so deep that you couldn't forget it no matter how hard you tried. You shouldn't have taken it, you thought. Things would be so much better for you if you just didn't do it. If maybe, just maybe, you smiled at her just like you did anyways, and trashed the console and went on with your life, then maybe your life would be a lot more brighter than it was. Maybe you wouldn't be sitting prettily on the couch waiting for your personal hell to pick up where it left off. Just like clockwork, both or just one if you somehow got lucky, Senpai or Spirit, would enter the house you were confined in, to "spend quality time with you". Just the thought made you sick. You, for whatever reason, put some of the blame onto yourself. How did you not notice the signs? The way Senpai would angerly confront you while he was still inside the game, all because you were an hour later to turning on the game than you said you would be, only for him to turn into a sickeningly sweet pile of putty as you explained the reasoning - you got too absorbed in trying to figure out a way to free him and Spirit, and lost track of time. You should have noticed it when you freed the two of them both, and their protectiveness increased tenfold. The way the two of them would almost be at each other's throats at first, arguing at who would get to spend the most time with you, before they eventually stopped fighting after seeing your fearful and tear soaked face. You should have noticed it when Spirit insisted on temporarily ditching his more humanized form in favor of the one he used in the Hating Simulator so he could hitch rides in your backpack, to accompany you to school and whatnot. The world was scary, he told you as he cupped your cheeks in his hands, and he wants to make sure not a single soul will be given the opportunity to harm you. Senpai even offered to enroll to the same college, but you turned down his offer. But, now that you think back on it, you wouldn't be shocked if Spirit and Senpai arranged for him to go anyways. Spirit had his ways, which he always bragged about like the sick bastard he turned out to be. You can remember it like it was yesterday, holding him in your arms as he was in his tiny spirit form. Placing him inside your backpack and giving him a gentle kiss on his forehead as he looked up at you.

This form, being a direct copy of his form of the Hating Simulator, held that same look of pixelated, twisted agony. But even still, you could tell he was looking up at you with pure love and adoration. He loved you, he wanted to make sure you were safe, you told yourself. Wasn't that cute? He really cared, didn't he? If only you knew. If only someone was there to really warn you. It was after you started bringing Spirit along with you, that everything started going dark. Since he was right there in your backpack, he could hear everything going on. All the laughs you had with your friends, all the interactions, everything you did with others, he saw as "too much". They were clearly flirting with you, or, they sounded too suspicious. You were lucky Spirit was there to make sure they didn't do anything to hurt you, they were clearly getting too comfortable around you! You brushed it off, as stupid as that was. You still loved him and Senpai dearly, so you made excuses for the both of them. Spirit just didn't understand human interaction, since he was a demon. He just didn't get it, but a little bit of empathetic explaining could do the trick. However, no matter how much reassuring you did, it just never soothed him. There was always something else. Something more. Senpai and Spirit started getting closer and closer. At first, you were glad. They've been through a lot together, and you knew they could be really good friends if they tried. You were happy for the two of them. But, you couldn't help but feel uneasy every time you entered a room and saw the two of them sitting together. Their bodies close and their voices quiet, only ceasing their speech as one of them was the first to notice you, smiling sweetly, a lip movement which the other soon copied. You smiled back, but even in that moment, you couldn't help but wonder if that smile was genuine or not. The arguments became more frequent. But, now, much to your own shock and dismay, it wasn't one against one as the third person watched in fear like before, it was two against one. You just didn't get it, they thought. You were so stubborn, so hopelessly brainwashed by mortal society. You couldn't see things their way because the world wouldn't let you. Of course, logically, you called bullshit. You had genuinely no clue what they were going on about. The people they were suspicious of, they were nothing more than acquaintances and friends. The brainwashing they claimed you were going through, was just you finally seeing through their lovesick bullshit. Alas, you just couldn't make them see the way things really were. Their little kinship became your downfall. And soon, they put the plan they were whispering about into action. You couldn't leave now, you had absolutely no chance against them. Not when you barely even put in the effort to figure out explanations for your friends and other loved ones strangely vanishing with only weak and unfounded excuses to explain their disappearances. Spirit and Senpai both had you trapped, mentally and physically. You sat in despair, wondering what things would be like if you took a left instead of a right that day, if you took a mallet to the damn console instead of giving those sick fucks any of your compassion and time. Soon, the door creaked open which interrupted your thoughts, but you were too broken mentally to even look up. "You alright, dear?" You weren't alright, but you didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he got a response out of you. You could recognize his voice, it was Spirit. You especially hated him, he was far more agressive than Senpai. More demanding and possessive. Senpai was as well, but he was far more passive than Spirit was. Your eyes could see him crouch down to your level, but you refused to look up from your lap. Why give him the satisfaction? It will only make your situation worse in your eyes. You couldn't help but cringe as you felt Spirit's fingers grip the soft skin on your chin and lifted your head up to look him in the eyes.

"Still acting all upset, hm?" He mumbled to himself, looking at your features as if he was studying you. It made you want to vomit. He made you sick. Him and that prissy bastard Senpai. "Me and Sen have been trying so hard to keep you safe, (Y/N)...don't you think we deserve a little gratitude?" Spirit asked in a soft, comforting tone. You looked at him in disgust, anger coursing through your veins. That sick mother fucker. That sick bastard. You can only take so much of his delusional bullshit without rage building up in your entire body. How dare he? Does he and Senpai genuinely rationalize this as love? Murder, kidnapping, abuse and manipulation? Yeah, sure. Maybe in Hell this could be considered love, but not in any place you ever lived. Spirit continued on with his sick rambling, but his words fell on deaf ears. All you saw was a deep red, and you couldn't help but notice your body beginning to twitch. Looking back on it, you really shouldn't have done it. But, you couldn't blame yourself, and your body just couldn't allow yourself to refuse. The moment you felt yourself returning to your normal vision, your fist was already slamming into the middle of Spirit's face. He yelped, clearly not expecting the impact, and actually stumbled back slightly. Seeing him holding his tiny nose and seeing his chest rise and fall in a rapid motion, you then realized just how badly you screwed up. He's a demon, a simple punch from a mere human wouldn't do anything but anger him. And, anger him it did. The room was so silent that you could probably hear a pin drop, the air was heavy and cold. It was silent, completely so, until your ears picked up on what was the sound of a low growl coming from the entity you just punched in square in the nose. Fuck. Spirit slowly got up, resulting in you scrambling to the back of the couch cushion and sitting in the fetal position as your body trembled violently. It took him a few deep breaths to regain his composure, but when it did, it was arguably more terrifying than if he were to stand screaming at you in rage. Senpai did just that all the time, you were damn near completely used to it. "Well, we can't have you acting like that, can we?" Spirit sighed, his hand twitching as he once again felt his nose. You couldn't help but wonder, did he actually have cartilage in there? If so, did you break his nose? It seemed like you did, considering how Spirit was consistantly holding it as if to check it. Your thoughts were cut off, as he made his way towards you, grabbing you by your ankles and ripping away their protective shield for the rest of your body. He hummed, his eyes piercing your body like a hot blade. "Sen won't have to know about this if you're good for here on out, you wouldn't want him to join in. He'd probably be a lot less easy on you then I." You were about to verbally call bullshit once more, until your bodies nerves were stimulated in the most painful way you could possibly imagine. The last thing you could remember before everything went white, was your own agonized screams, and the psychotic giggles of a demon enraged. You shouldn't have done it. You really shouldn't have done it.

[early2000smovieimagines]

Meeting and Dating Cady Heron

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

- You obviously met Cady when she moved to town and started going to your school. You weren’t in any of her classes so you didn’t know about her until lunch time came around and a new red head bobbed it’s way through the crowd.

- You watched with pity as she searched the intimidating landscape before your eyes locked. Ever the empath, you kept her gaze and gave a small smile as she somewhat timidly approached. And thus, you became Cadys first American friend.

-While it may not be the greatest thing to go through, at the end of the day I think the whole plastic situation has to happen to Cady, except this time, what's really spurring her on is the fact that Regina George bullied you. 

- Truth be told, it all started out as good fun between Cady, Janis, Damien, and subsequently you; but then Cady saw how Regina treated you and it became personal.

- Cady was starting to realize she had a serious thing for you; something she never expected since she hadn’t ever thought of herself as dating a girl, so seeing you getting insulted and pushed around made her really commit to her plan. She was going to destroy Regina and the rest of the plastics, and she was gonna do it for you. 

- Except, things don’t always go as planned, do they? No, Cady got carried away, and in her efforts to help and avenge you, she only hurt you in the process. 

- Somewhere in the middle of her plans, she’d nervously word vomited and told you about her feelings and to her surprise you’d accepted them happily. The two of you became a secret item and that only made her feel the need to work even harder at her revenge plot. 

- Well, you know how the rest of the story goes, she starts blowing you off constantly, “has to” talk bad about you to the other plastics, and gets completely lost in her efforts. 

- See, she’d ignore you all day and then she’d show up late at your house acting like a, well, …a plastic. It was one of those nights when your relationship took a turn for the worse.

- She’d told you earlier that day that she couldn’t hang out with you, but then she’d arrived at your house at eleven o’clock when your parents were out on a date, prancing around in her tight dress and pretending like everything was completely normal. 

- You’d went to your room and she’d immediately started to blatantly come onto you. You, still a little upset at her recent behavior, gently pushed her from you and asked what had gotten into her. 

- Under other circumstances, you probably wouldn’t have minded the visit or the propositioning. You probably could have even forgotten about your bruised feelings as well, but then she’d asked “what was wrong with you”, tried to kiss you again, and things escalated from there. 

- Insults were thrown, accusations were made, and you threw her out of your house before collapsing against your front door in a fit of hot angry tears. It wasn’t long before your new friends; Janis and Damien, could also join your anti Cady Heron club.

- Though you knew you still loved her, you couldn’t deny that she hurt you, and if that person you’d encountered was “the new Cady”, you didn’t want anything to do with her. 

- When the burn book surfaces, you aren’t surprised to see a page dedicated to you though the insults are everything you’d already heard so it didn’t exactly hurt your feelings. What did surprise you was that Cady took the fall for it. 

- You knew it wasn’t true; at least not fully, but who were you to say anything. Your …girlfriend(?) had dug herself a grave that only she could climb her way out of. 

- Alas, you weren’t as heartless as you wished you could be and against your will and better judgement, you found yourself driving to her house after your bullying assembly and asking her if you could talk. 

- The two of you spent the next hour talking things out and eventually making up, with her apologizing profusely the entire time. It was easy to se that she felt horrible which made forgiving her just as easy.

- And so, the two of you are back together again and this time it’s for the better in a much nicer high school environment. 

- You have a lot of pda in your relationship but it’s rarely things that can be interpreted as being too romantic considering it’s the early 2000s and we know that at that high school, being gay wasn’t good.

- Handholding. 

- Long hugs. 

- Slow, soft kisses. 

- Cheek kisses. 

- She loves cuddling. She likes hugging you while resting her head on your chest. 

- Inside jokes. 

- Teasing each other. 

- You know those scenes in movies where couples are play fighting, like slapping each others hands after one steals a fry then proceeding to laugh with each other before kissing? That’s the two of you constantly. 

- Wearing her Mathletes jacket.

- Going to all her tournaments.

- She’s got a good memory when it comes to you, she’ll never forget your birthday, anniversary, or any other important things to you. 

- Gifts, except this time they aren’t to sabotage your life. 

- Teaching her about pop culture and high school life.

- Seeing her adorable excited reactions to recognizing American things: songs, references, etc.

- Getting to hear her stories about living in Africa. 

- African terms of endearment. Bokkie, choty goty, poepolletjie, poplap, etc.

- Letting her rant to you. She just can’t shut up when she’s angry.

- She overthinks things when she’s nervous so you try your best to calm her down. She does the same for you whenever you get overwhelmed and worked up. 

- She’s really good at comforting you and does so the minute she thinks you look sad or she can tell that somethings hurt you. 

- The girlfriend that pulls your skirt/shirt down or brushes your hair back for you when you don’t notice you’re about to be exposed or dip it in something.

- She still has Plastic tendencies so occasionally you’ll catch her saying “love ya” and blowing kisses.

- Going to the mall. You’ll usually drop in and say hi to Janis and Damien.

- Being Damien's wing women and eventually going on double dates with him. 

- Study dates. 

- Going to the movies together. 

- Bowling and roller skating dates. 

- Zoo dates. 

- Using that walker brothers pancake house gift certificate. 

- She isn’t really afraid of potentially making a fool of herself so she’s game to do all the things society deems as “lame” with you. 

- Family dinners at her house. 

- Her parents are supportive so you’re guaranteed at least one pair of adults who are happy to see you two together. 

- Her mother makes the two of you matching bracelets. 

- She’s a very jealous girl. Cady hasn’t ever really liked anyone before, she’s also never had a partner before, so seeing you with other boys or girls makes her feel this red hot sort of prickling anger. She plays it cool; knowing she can’t just attack them, but when you’re back at her side, she tries to keep your attention focused solely on her.

- Cady isn’t offensively protective, rather than go after the other person, she hangs back and makes sure you’re okay. She’ll always be at your side, comforting you, shielding you from view and glaring at whoever hurt you. With that being said, she might occasionally have to handle things as though she were in the animal kingdom.

- Making sure people don’t take advantage of her naivety towards American life. 

- She word vomits when she's angry so while you don’t fight very often, when you do, she may accidentally say something she doesn’t mean or just let out a mouthful of a rant. One of you will either apologize right then and there or you’ll give each other the silent treatment.

- She’s usually the first one to crack after you’ve had a fight, she just can’t stand you being upset with her. She always gives a genuine apology and asks if things are alright between the two of you; smiling and giving you a hug when you tell her that they are.

- She’s not afraid to tell you she loves you, in fact, she loves saying it. She says it just about every time you say goodbye, and when she’s really happy, and when she just feels the need to.

- In the animal kingdom, few animals mate for life. She hopes that the two of you are among those few.

[jesslockwood]

olive | chapter one

pairing: actor!Tom Holland x actor!reader

words: 3.5k ish

warnings: swearing, mentions of sex and smut (in between the ***)

a/n: special thanks for @stuckonspidey for helping me not only start a kinda guideline for this story, but go over the beginning of this chapter, go check out Lilly’s works!

I also am taking name suggestions for one of the characters (little miss diva celebrity personal) as im horrid at coming up with names and also want to involve you! (That’s why she don’t have a name in this yet lol) so send me an ask with your suggestions!

series masterlist

You couldn’t believe it. How could it even be comprehended of what was going on when it felt like a dream? 

bro, you’re living every Instagram jealous fangirl’s dream right now…

Man, you couldn’t even imagine the backlash you’d be getting after this once everyone knew. 

Let’s hope they never find out.

Maybe this whole ordeal should be explained...

You had been at an after-party for the first big movie you did, well it was a featuring role, that the character literally had a sex scene with Sebastian Stan- yeah you know what you’re thinking, he’s a literal Greek god heaven-sent being- we all know.

Anyways me being me found him way too unattainable- God all those marvel actors and actresses were-, especially after the mishap of seeing his butt naked self before the scene, and him telling you it was fine because you were like his “little sister”. Either way, he was a no go, and you kinda wanted to find someone to take home. you hadn’t been laid in a while, and after seeing Sebastian naked you kinda needed relief. 

you were looking for someone more in your league scanning the room, until Seb decided to bombard you at the bar, with probably another one of his actor friends he wanted to introduce you to. 

Yeah, heh… I know how this sounds, but you two actually became pretty close on set, as the lead to his opposite, was a total snob, and Seb couldn’t stand her so you’d do a spot-on impression of her while roasting her, and Seb and you got along pretty well because of that. You’re probably questioning: why Seb? Of all people why would a famous person like him get along with a weirdo like me? 

Boy, do I look like I know?

in all your years it would still probably be a mystery till you died. 

Throughout the night Seb had been introducing you to all his friends and helping you “network” even though they all knew you sucked. That still didn’t stop you from having a small heart attack every time it was an actor you admire.

This time maybe was a little different because you had downed some drinks, and was a little more… bodacious? That’s probably the worst description you could come up with but it is what it is... anyways it was the only way you could get through the night without completely dying of being in front of literal heaven-sent beings.

“Hey Y/n! you’d like you to meet one of my pals!” Sebastian yelled over the music, cutting through people to get to me.

you were sitting at the bar just getting another martini with olives. Before taking a sip you saw him. Holy guacamole! He was definitely out of your league, but alas, he was trailing Sebastian, coming over to you, with you almost doing a spit take. you knew who he was, but man, was he ever hotter in person! pictures did not do his beauty justice.

“Hey, Sebby, who’s the next victim you’re introducing to moi?” you ask, stirring your drink with the olives. 

Seb shook his head at you, with a smirk on his face

“This is Tom, and Tom this is the infamous Y/n.” you definitely rolled your eyes at that one.

“It’s a Pleasure.” He says all gentleman-like.

Just as Sebastian is about to speak, none other than the stuck up lead of the movie calls over to him.

“Sebastian, they're taking group photos of the main character’s with Drake Doremus, our director.” 

You could tell Sebastian refrained from rolling his eyes at the way she was smirking at you.

 “Sorry Tom! Y/n and I have to go-”

“Uh, Sebastian, they want the main cast. No extras.” she snarkily snaps.

“She’s not an extra she’s a featuring role and y/n-”

“I’m fine here entertaining Tom. Besides I’m all photoed out.” you cut him off quickly trying to deescalate the situation before Seb snapped on her causing a scene for all the hungry photographers to eat up.

“See? She doesn’t want to get in the way of our spotlight. I’ll meet you over there.” she blows a kiss at Sebastian and walks over to our director.

“Are you sure about this y/n? Because you know Drake would be fine with it, and she has no say over it anyways and-”

“I’m fine, and anyways, it would be rude to leave your friend here when you just introduced us.” you comforted giving the most genuine smile you can.

He dramatically sighs, raising his arms in surrender,  “Well if she ends up in the pool, it’s not my fault.” 

You laugh and wave him off before turning your attention to the arachnid superhero sitting beside you now at the bar. You sit in silence for a bit, admiring his freckles and eyes before speaking up.

“I’m sorry about all of that she can sometimes be such a-”

“-Bitch?”

“I was going to say Diva but that works too” you giggle as he starts to laugh with you.

“So Mister Spider-man, what made you come over here to be introduced to me?”

“I’m gonna be honest, I didn’t know anything about you till today, and seeing you act in this movie, I really am a fan of yours. Your acting ability in just this one movie blew me away!” He says intently, gazing into my eyes.

“You’re just saying that because I have a sex scene in the movie. It’s also probably just because of Sebastian’s acting. Or maybe you were turned on. ” you joke winking at him as you turn towards the bar, almost finishing your drink for the second time

He laughs, with a sly smirk on his face, “maybe.”

Before you can respond Sebastian interrupts.

“Hey, sorry I took so long, Miss Diva needed her ‘best angles’”

You internally groan. You just got cock blocked by the one you wanted before this whole ordeal.

“Well, I think I’m going to head out. We’re still on for breakfast tomorrow right?” Tom says, getting up abruptly.

“Yeah, Unless Y/n wants to bail on breakfast then we're still on, Then golf which Y/n will definitely bail on.” Sebastian jokes.

You were almost speechless, Seb said you’d meet some of his closest friends at the big brunch tomorrow. At least you’d be seeing him tomorrow. Maybe Sebastian set this all up? Either way, you weren’t turning down the opportunity.

“Well, uh I better get back to my hotel as well. We need to get up bright and early, and you know I need my sleep.” you mention, before downing the rest of your drink- very unladylike- and popping the olives into your mouth cringing a bit while eating them.

You hated olives, but it felt like such a waste to not eat them. You may have been in ‘high society’ but you still knew how rude it would have been, at least in your head it was.

“Party poopers. I’m gonna go say my goodbyes. Don’t wait for me.” Sebastian turns away going towards a group of his friends.

“I have a car coming, I can drop you off?”

“Oh, uh- are you sure? I don’t want to be a burde-”

“You’re not at all! Great company so far if you ask me,” he comments so… gentleman like.

You fight the urge to roll your eyes, and Once you got up and going, with Tom trailing behind you, you had to dodge a couple of waiters, apologizing every time, before really bumping into a waiter, who accidentally pushes Miss Diva, who wobbles before falling into the pool.

You stand there in shock almost watching as she, in slow motion falls into the pool, screaming on the way down. 

As soon as she emerges, she looks dead eyes at you, with looks that could literally, and probably would kill you.

Everyone falls silent before Sebastian, from across the pool breaks out into a fit of laughter and yells for you to “run”. Everyone who worked in the film and even the waiter starts to laugh along. Drake, your director takes out his phone before snapping a few photos. 

“AH! I‘m gonna kill you Y/n!” she screams at you before trying to swim to the ladder of the pool.

“Here,” Tom says before handing a hefty tip to the waiter before grabbing your hand and pulling you to the exit, “C’mon Y/n!”

The only thing that ran through your mind was “Holy shit. I’m dead now.”

Tom kept dragging you, to the entrance, through the paparazzi, and into the car, which mind you, the car was really nice, almost tumbling onto him.

“I’m a dead man now” you chanted a couple of times, before Tom started laughing really obnoxiously.

“Dude! You think me being six feet under is funny?!” ,You try not to giggle along to the now almost intoxicating sound, before hearing a pinging of his phone.

“Y/n, you’ll be trending for being Hollywood's hero!” He says before checking his device, “Trust me when I say she has no fanbase, at least won’t after this video Sebastian just sent me.”

“What?” you say stunned, before Tom shows you the video.

“That Fucking Bitch Y/n! You All saw that?! Y/n pushed me in purposely! She’s only out to get me, the talent of the movie! Talentless little bit-”

Sebastain cuts in the video “Yeah we’ve all heard it, you think you’re so much better than Y/n, Blah, Blah, Blah! You’ve treated her like shit from day one, and all she’s ever been was kind to you! I think karma is finally getting to you!”

Then your director steps in, “Well, I have news, we’re doing another movie, but in this time, Y/n has been bumped to lead role! I’m not so sure where your contract lies anymore though... Maybe it's just floating around in the water like your louboutins!”

Everyone cheers in applause in the video, chanting your name before it ends.

“What?! No, no, no! I don't deserve this because of a faulty point! She doesn't deserve this either! I know she's mean but to steal away from her talent and for someone to post that video?! She doesn't deserve that!” 

You started to freak out. Not only would she murder you if she had the chance, but no one deserved, not even she deserved the worst of what was going to come from the backlash from that video.

“Please tell me no one posted it!” you ask frantically.

“No, not yet, I’ll tell Seb not to, but I don’t think he can stop all the people who videotaped it.” He almost cringes, looking guilty.

“It’s fine I’ll just tweet something in the morning.” you sigh covering your face before telling tom where your hotel was.

It was almost upsetting, you felt like a second choice because of a bad apple in the batch, and you were the next.

“Hey Y/n? I know we don’t know each other well, but even though she might be booted down, or even off the next movie, your talent is real, and it doesn't take away from what you can do. From what I got from you already is that you're beautiful inside and out, as cheesy as it sounds.”

What the fuck. He was a fucking sweetheart. Let’s hope the fucking part litterally.

“Thanks Tom.”

You sit in an almost comfortable silence, all the way till you get to your hotel.

Once stepping out, Tom speaks up “Goodnight Y/n.”

“Dream of me Tom.” you wink before heading up to think of the game plan for tomorrow.

Once you got into bed, you couldn’t help but think of him. 

Why did he have to be so nice? Like god, did sweet guys ever make you horny.

Oh shit. Tom Freaking Holland made you this way.

Lets just say, you really did dream of him, probably because you thought of him while- well you know before falling asleep.

***

“Tommy!” you moaned loudly, as he went down on you, licking stripes from the base of your pussy to your clit.

He moaned onto your sensitive clit, sending vibrations all the way up your body, and especially to your core.

You could feel yourself getting close. His iron (man™️) grip on your thighs had you wishing it would never end and then-

***

Your obnoxious ringtone you had for Sebastian went off abruptly waking you up. You had set it to a fucked up sounding avengers theme song. 

“What the Fu-”

“Y/n uh, apparently there's a shit ton of paparazzi at your hotel right now… do you still want to go to the brunch?

You pause, “What? The Fuck?” you continue to look outside your window and sure enough, there's a hoard of them outside.

Greaaaaaat…

You really weren't sure about going, until you got a call from an unknown number. 

“Uh I’m getting another call gimme a sec-” you end the call with seb before answering the mystery person.

“Hey Y/n it’s me, Tom, Im uh almost in the back alley of your hotel waiting for you, I mean, only if you want to come, you were on my way anyways so i thought-”

“Hey Tom,uh yeah- okay, I’ll be down in twenty?” You say rushing around trying to find your suitcase.

“Okay, I’ll uh, tell Seb we’re coming soon” 

Tom hangs up after you say goodbye, and couldn't help the grin that reached his face being almost smacked back into reality by his brother, Harry and best friend, Harrison, goofing off.

“You div! You almost ruined my hair!” Harrison whines, as Harry rolls his eyes.

You, on the other hand, were rushing around taking a Guinness world record shower, before drying your hair, putting on minimal face shit, because thanks to Tom you didn't have time, and putting on an outfit that made you feel super cute and ready for golfing, well, watching it.

You weren’t much of a sport player, minus the competitive side that came out as soon as anyone challenged you. Then suddenly, you were an allstar (by smash mouth p.s fuck smash mouth) at whatever came your way.

Lets just hope you had this in the bag if someone challenged you. 

Your phone buzzed and you jumped, before quickly answering the texts you had gotten.

‘Are you coming?’

‘Yes seb im coming soon ;)’

‘Hey y/n it’s tom were here when your ready :)’

‘Wrong “you’re” but im coming lol ;)’

As you made your way down, Tom kept fiddling in his seat, trying to relax yet impress you. He just had to get over her, and you were the perfect solution for that. He didn't want to use you or anything, just have some casual fun that will help him move on.

As soon as you come into sight, of course looking both ways of the alley because who knows who's lurking, or going to hit you like Regina George, Tom couldn't help but almost drool in admiring you. You had your gorgeous legs on display, almost gleaming in the sunlight starting to peek through the alley, and your hair, looking almost effortless in your hairstyle, that took you like, five minutes to do. 

 As soon as you got into the car, Tom was snapped out of his daze, quickly trying to catch himself before being caught.

“Hey Y/n! You remember Harry? And this is Harrison. Harrison, Y/n-”

“Y/n I’m a really big fan! Maybe not as big as Tom’s di-” 

“Mate! Shut up!” Harry jabs Harrison in the side. You couldn't help but laugh at the interaction.

“Y/n i’m sorry about these divs.” he glares at them red in the face which makes you laugh even harder.

“It’s fine, I’m used to it from my catty family.”

“Oi! We’re not catty!” Harry says before Harrison gives him a wet willy in the ear.

“Haz!-”

And that's when you started to block out their fighting to focus on Tom.

“So uh, how many people will be at this? Sebastian totally didn't tell me for legal purposes of marvel-people-are-coming-so-don’t-tell-y/n-or-else-she’ll-freak-out.” You joke before earning a snort from Tom.

“Uh well, if you really want to know, the people I know are coming are Anthony Mackie, Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson- you should close your mouth love, don't want any flies in there.”

You couldn't help but have your jaw slacked, and mouth hanging open. These were people you only had ever dreamed of meeting. You had to focus on what you wanted though. Tom was the priority, but damn were you going to freak out on the inside.

“That’s not the only thing you’re worried about going into my mouth? Right?” You joke, definitely meaning a sexual innuendo, but with a cover-up.

Now Tom’s the one with the open mouth.

“Damn bro!” 

“Oh my God!”

A chorus of reactions come through from Harrison and Harry, only leading you to say,

“Well? Don’t you have a frog in yours?” 

He tries to brush it off with laughter, though you could see his red face. He only hoped he didn’t have an even more noticeable way of telling he was turned on by that.

As the driver stopped, you realized you were at the restaurant, and man, was it ever a fancy and probably extorting you of all your life savings one too.

Tom almost rushed out of that vehicle, getting hotter than he should have been with the air conditioner blasting, if you were to ask, he’d blame it on the weather (we all know it’s not the weather).

You got out next, covering your face with your hand to block out some of the sun, and crossed your arm over to hold it steady, which may or may not have slightly squished your boobs together, making Tom’s mouth salivate. Man, was he ever screwed today, maybe literally as well.

As soon as he hurried into the restaurant, with you following closely behind, dogging more paparazzi, Tom goes to the front and asks where “Mr. Stan's table” is directed at the hostess. As soon as she saw Tom she looked behind to see you, which she definitely recognized the both of you, and that was pretty surprising, as you've never been recognized, other than hanging out with Sebastian, due to the movie.

“Right this way sir.” the hostess says professionally, leading you to your demise.

You were holding your breath. There were so many of them, all at once that you admired, it was going to be a difficult task. You could barely handle meeting sebastian stan, but all of your favorite celebs at once? 

oof

Once you got to the table hidden away in the corner, everyone said a chorus of greetings to Tom and friends and you.

You swallowed hard, only mustering out a small wave, before Tom pulled out a chair for you, (his momma taught him to be a gentleman) and you slid in whispering a small thank you.

Tom sat beside you to your left, with Harrison and Harry on your right. Sebastian was sitting right across from you, alongside Anthony Mackie, Scarlett Johansson, Chris Evans, Jeremy Renner, Chris Hemsworth, and Elizabeth Olsen surrounding the rest of the table.

“Hey everyone, so this is infamous Y/n, as you've probably seen the film or, the viral video, either way, this is her.”

“Hey! Y/n Seb here has told us so many stories about you, it’s like we already know you! You're a fan right? So who’s your favorite?”

You try to get words out but they don't seem to come. Tom notices and barges into the conversation,  “It’s obviously spider-man, ‘cause i'm so her type.” Tom mentions, in a cocky yet sarcastic tone, which started a spark for you to say something.

“And apparently I'm sitting beside a div? If that's the right word you use for a blubbering idiot.” you retort, re-using the words of his own. That got you a bunch of responses of “burns” “ohs!” and laughter.

It was almost as if the tips of Tom's ears were red in embarrassment with him still laughing along. You couldn't help but laugh as well at the sight.

During the rest of the course of breakfast, you had actually been vocal and had become quite fond of the people you now could say you knew, in one brunch. You especially loved the banter between Anthony, Seb and Tom, whereas you talked mostly to Scarlett and Lizzie, as she told you to call her, and Jeremy about projects they had done, and were looking for in their next ones.

Soon you had all had finished breakfast and had gotten the checks, with your eyes almost bulging out of your head at the price. 

Tom whispered into your ear, “I’ll pay, don't want your kidneys sold for this meal. Besides, I have to beat Seb in some way today.” he winks at you.

Your face feels slightly warm. 

Why did he have to be so nice?

“Well we should go to the course now everyone, I know Y/n’s out of playing so she can go to the pool, cause she apparently sucks at golf even though she's never tried it.” Sebastian taunts you. 

“Oh screw you Seb, I can totally do it, maybe, probably not but i'll try-”

“It’s nice to see some A list actors eat here too.” 

oh shit. It was her. 

[strideofpride]

DAIR APPRECIATION WEEK 2021 DAY ONE: Why do you love Dan and Blair?

I broke down what I love about Dan and Blair into five parts under a read more below. The tldr is: their compatibility, their parallel arcs, their slow burn, the larger message it would've given GG if they were endgame, and finally their mature, adult relationship (aka "pure and simple love").

Warning: I basically wrote a fucking essay lmao. Cited my sources and everything.

I. Compatibility

Dan and Blair have great chemistry sure, but they have something that I don't think any other pairing on the show really had: common interests. They were pseudo-intellectuals who could talk about books, literature, art, etc. with each other ("Dan and I have a real connection. We did things like visit the Dia and debate Charbol versus Rohmer..."). And I know in TV world all anyone cares about is chemistry, but in the real world the key to a long lasting relationship is common interests.

And yet they are also still an opposite attracts pairing, just in the best way, where they are opposite in personality and background, but still share lots of common interests. Blair was the rich mean girl from the Upper East Side and Dan the "poor" loser from Brooklyn, but they still can relate to one another, they can still find stuff to talk about together, they still come to enjoy each other's presence and friendship.

And back to their chemistry: it isn't steamy chemistry 100% all the time (although they can certainly go there). Their's is a sweet chemistry, a chemistry where it's clear that they respect each other, that they know each other on a deep level, that they understand each other more than anyone else. It's a chemistry that you believe could lead to a satisfying marriage one day.

And I know I've said this before, but to me Dan and Blair are just soulmates.

II. Parallel Arcs

I am such a sucker for when two characters' life journeys parallel one another and Dair had that in spades. In season 1 especially, they were both dealing with the abandonment of a parent (Dan's mom/Blair's dad), they both lost their virginities and entered into sexual relationships with much more experienced partners (Serena & Chuck), and they both had their sights set on one school (Yale & Dartmouth - although come season 2 this became Yale for Dan, giving them even more in common).

I've also already talked on here about how you can parallel all of their other romantic/sexual relationships to one another, as well as how they both were abandoned by their best friends sophomore year. And, they both have a bad habit of going back to the same person over and over again (again, Serena & Chuck).

To me, Dan and Blair are almost narrative foils. Dan's relationship with his father starts out pretty solid but deteriorates over time - Blair's relationship with her mother is the exact opposite. Dan pines, while Blair loves to live in denial. Blair sees her life as a movie, Dan sees his life as a novel.

And that makes it all the more satisfying to see them come together, to learn to appreciate their differences, to accept their similarities, to see them grow together (albeit briefly) over seasons 4 and 5.

III. Slow Burn

A lot of people on here use this word incorrectly. If the characters kiss during season 1 (unless it’s under false pretenses) it’s not a slow burn! But Dan and Blair are a true slow burn (whether or not that was intentional).

From that hallway scene in 1x04, it's clear that Dan and Blair have a deeper connection and understanding of each other than they are letting on. We get brief glimpses into that in 1x15, 2x08, 3x18, and 3x22. All of that very slow build up makes it all the more satisfying when they become friends in season 4.

I truly think the W arc is the best written arc of the entire show. You very slowly see them accept their common interests, grow to begrudgingly respect one another, even begin to accept that there might be an attraction there. It never feels rushed, when they kiss in 4x17, it's earned (I use this word a lot - buckle in).

And then, yeah, the Louis arc was fucky (I stand by that they should've kept the love triangle Dan vs. Chuck, or Dan vs. Louis, all three was too much). But Dan standing by Blair through everything she went through that season was beautiful, to see her depend on Dan in her darkest moments, to see her realize that he's the one who will always be there for her...it just really, really worked.

And so that moment when Blair finally calls him "Dan" to his face, when it becomes clear they are finally going to be together...it's one of the single most satisfying moments in the entire show. Because, again, it was earned.

IV. Larger Message

As this video essay posits, the showrunners were left with a choice after the 2008 economic recession: "Either adjust to the times or lean further into an escapist fantasy where extreme wealth is the status quo...and lean they did. For the sake of providing their audience with an escape, the dark underbelly of extreme affluence became the show's core theme. The more it began to sell cynical opulence as standard escapism, the more the writers and fans turned on the less wealthy characters."

Furthermore, by revealing Dan as Gossip Girl, "It transitions him from pretentious soft boy to borderline sociopath, actively ruining the lives of his friends, family, and crush just to get a foothold in Upper East Side society. And then the show did something it had seldom deemed to do for a less wealthy character: it rewarded him...And thus, the show presented us with the most insidious message of all: wealth, privilege, and power corrupt...and that's okay."

By having Chuck & Blair and Dan & Serena as endgame, GG became one of the most cynical shows on the planet, where (to quote Constance Grady) "all relationships are transactional".

But yet: "The sole bright spot in the midst of this cold universe in which relationships are bought and sold like real estate came in the form of Blair’s brief season four romance with Dan...it marked the last hurrah of the first version of Gossip Girl: In a world in which money is so powerful that it makes romantic relationships indistinguishable from prostitution, Dan and Blair were working to create an authentic, meaningful bond outside of the influence of wealth and privilege."

If Dan and Blair had been endgame (and Dan hadn't been GG - although we all know that one is bullshit anyway), it would've been a rebuke to that ideology, it would've shown that there is more to a good marriage than a shared tax bracket, that a genuine connection is more important than wealth and privilege. That abuse does not equal love.

But alas, that was not the story they wanted to tell I guess.

V. Mature, Adult Relationship (aka "Pure & Simple Love")

I am personally not much of a fan of grand romantic gestures. I often find them shallow, childish, and showy. To me, it is far more romantic for Dan to have secretly written a book about Blair, for Blair to submit Dan's article to Vanity Fair, for Dan to say "it wouldn't to me" when Blair asks if it would matter if she was pregnant with another man's child (especially since this moment is (take a shot here), you guessed it, earned - we know he's being honest because we already saw him do this with Milo).

Now, I am personally not as much of a fan of the Met Steps moment as everyone else (Blair's desire to be royalty is probably the thing I like least about her), but that was probably Dan's grandest romantic gesture and yet...it's still so simple. It's really just a plastic tiara and a cab ride. Which is what makes it so beautiful. Because it's not about the money or the extravagance or showing off to anyone else...it's about Dan showing Blair he truly knows her. And to me, that's the healthiest way to do a romantic gesture.

I also love their bad sex arc in 5x18 because a) it's real - most real world couples don't have earth shattering sex the first time together, it takes time to learn what your partner likes and needs and b) because they actually (after getting drunk at Dorota's & Nate's) communicate about it and work out their problem like adults.

Because that's the thing about Dan and Blair - it's a real adult relationship. It's not a never-ending game of cat and mouse, it's not a fallback, it's not a bad habit...everything else just melts away when they're together. They grew and changed together...they learned to put aside their prejudices and see each other beyond their facades. They became better people together. They always had someone they knew they could turn to.

And that's what true love is supposed to be.

[ahkaraii]

sort too soon (or not enough) [1282 words]

"I don't know why I was sorted into Gryffindor," Poppy sniffed. "I'm nothing but a coward."

"That's a lie and you know it," Minerva said, briskly rubbing Boil-Curing solution onto the mess that was her friend's purulent arm. "Besides, the House Sorting is a load of hogwash."

"What? Surely you don't mean that!"

"I always mean what I say, exactly as I say it." Minerva wrapped the bandage by hand as she spoke, her lips twisted in distaste. "It's ridiculous to categorise children into loosely fitting personality types before their personality has time to fully develop."

"It's not about personality," Poppy said earnestly. "It's temperament, which we're born with. The houses are based on the four Humours--"

"Don't quote Hippocrates at me, Pomfrey, I ate that theory for breakfast and it's almost time for dinner." Minerva patted her friend's arm, now safely ensconced in about half an inch's worth of paste and gauze. "Sanguine Gryffindors, Choleric Slytherins, Melancholic Ravenclaws, and Phlegmatic Hufflepuffs. I read Hogwarts: A History, same as you. As if a person can't be brave and studious and ambitious and loyal all at once! You're all of that and more, Poppy, so don't let one silly schoolyard fight put you down."

Poppy's bottom lip trembled.

"You hear me?" Minerva insisted with her characteristic Scottish accent, shaking her friend's shoulders for emphasis.

"Aye," Poppy said. "I hear you." She mustered up a smile, which Minerva reflected back at her.

"You know, I have often said we Sort too soon."

The two witches startled, badly. "Professor Dumbledore!?"

"The one, and thankfully, only," said the eccentrically dressed Transfiguration teacher with his usual cheery smile. "It is always a treat to hear students so thoughtfully criticise our beloved institution."

As usual, neither of them could tell if he was being ironically genuine or genuinely ironic; it was often the case that he could be both.

"We're, ah-- quite sorry, sir," Poppy said. "Minnie didn't mean any harm by it."

"I am not sorry, Professor," Minerva said bluntly. "It truly is a needlessly reductive system."

Poppy gripped her friend's arm in alarm but Professor Dumbledore merely laughed, delighted. "An apt observation! How, instead, do you propose we should Sort? Or shall we do away with Sorting entirely?"

"Well, I don't know how to fix it," Minerva said stiffly. "But I do know it's far from perfect, sir."

"I quite agree with you," Dumbledore confessed. "It is a heavily flawed method. But, like many of the organisms and organisations that rule our society, it is an inherited burden that we must adapt to, and, if sufficiently dissatisfied, change by well-reasoned increments. To overthrow a system from the start merely because it is flawed without properly proposing a solution is, in essence, an anarchical revolution doomed, I am afraid, to produce more grief than it had at the outset."

Poppy looked overwhelmed, but Minerva looked thoughtful.

"Change by well-reasoned increments," she echoed. "Like one does in Transfiguration?"

Dumbledore beamed. "Quite so! Five points to Gryffindor for a marvellous association."

"You're planning on making Minnie a Prefect one day, aren't you?" Poppy said shrewdly.

Dumbledore's smile turned into something more mischievous. "Oh, but who can say what the future holds? On that note, my Inner Eye says you two should soon be in the Great Hall for dinner. My Outer Nose smells something like pot roast. Off you go!"

"Thank you, Professor Dumbledore," the two girls chimed, and walked off arm-in-arm. He watched them go with a twinkle in his eye; it was, contrary to popular belief, not a charm-- he had inherited it from his mother who had Selkie blood down her maternal line. It gave his iris its characteristic, reflective sheen; though he did, on occasion, spell it more or less noticeable.

"Renouncing revolutionary action merely because one of it's byproducts is momentary grief," said a high, cold voice, "when maintaining an unacceptable status quo is guaranteed misery -- how un-Gryffindor-like of you, Professor."

"I wouldn't call it miserable," Dumbledore said, tilting his head slightly upward to meet Tom Riddle's, who was casually lounging on the rafters.

"No, of course you wouldn't." Tom neatly slid off the sloping beam, blurring into his cloak like a gust of black wind, reconfiguring on the ground without a single hair out of place. "Such is the mark of your privilege. Sir."

“That was an impressive piece of magic,” Dumbledore said, ignoring the slight. “A shadow-step instead of proper apparition. Did a vampire teach you this, Tom?”

Pride always brought out the boy’s knee-jerk honesty. “It’s my own invention,” he said stiffly.

“Remarkable,” Dumbledore said. “Just like how bats and birds came to have wings through different means, it appears you have converged upon a similar method of flight.”

"You insult me,” Tom said coldly.

“Not at all,” Dumbledore said. “I am sorry if you took it as such. I, myself, fancy a fire-step--” he demonstrated by flickering to the left in a flash of phoenix-flame, emerging unruffled behind Tom’s blind spot, to the boy’s momentary but quickly snuffled alarm.

“It is not subtle,” Tom said.

“Well, no. I am, after all, a Gryffindor,” Dumbledore said, with a quirk of his lips.

“But you use it like a Slytherin,” Tom said shrewdly.

Dumbledore tilted his head slightly to a side. A backhanded compliment?

“Do we Sort too soon,” Tom Riddle asked, softly. “Or not enough?”

“Oh?” There was no more twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes, now. "Would you do away with our Sorting system, then, Mister Riddle?" 

"I might refine it," Tom said idly. He met Dumbledore's eyes with the casual defiance of a confident Occlumens. "Though, of course, I am no Grindelwald to dismantle it entirely."

"Gellert Grindelwald would not dismantle it," Dumbledore said quietly. "He would Sort upon birth, before choice is an option." He paused. "Such is his rhetoric."

"I suppose that's a future we all have to look forward to," Tom said drolly. "Seeing as he's winning the war. They say he soon will make an attempt at our shores, and our Ministry will accept him with open arms.”

"Grindelwald will not invade England," Dumbledore said calmly. "Not while I live."

"Is that what you tell yourself? His muggles have already dropped bombs on me! On wizard folk!" Tom's face twisted abruptly with his rage. “His acolytes pervade the Ministry. The children of his followers openly walk our halls. I don't need a bloody Inner Eye to see he doesn't need to touch England to change it—he already has.”

"Grindelwald will not win England," Dumbledore repeated, coldly, "so long as I live."

“How? You while away your time debating rhetoric with children!” Tom seemed, for a moment, desperate. “Don’t you get it? If you don’t fight now, then he has already won. You cannot kill an idea, Professor Dumbledore, until you kill everyone that thinks it.”

“Murder is hardly ever the answer, Mister Riddle,” Dumbledore said crisply. “And you would do well to remember that. Now I would advise you to walk back to your dormitory. Curfew approaches, and I shall not overlook your nighttime wanderings this time.”

Tom Riddle’s handsome face distorted with a passing sneer before it became smooth. “Yes, sir,” he said, in a tone edging on mockery.

Albus Dumbledore watched him go, and, for a brief moment, felt as if he was watching another boy go. The darkness swiftly followed him-- when Tom rounded the corner and disappeared, a flash of fire briefly licked Albus’ beard as his phoenix appeared upon his shoulder, driving away all nearby shadows. Fawkes crooned softly, having been summoned by his human’s sadness.

“Alas, my dear Fawkes,” Albus murmured. “It appears we missed dinner yet again.”

[captainkurosolaire]

Lie to Me!

“Father? Typically we cut t’ Daddy n’ that ‘roleplay’ jabber, makes it sound less foul.” Desperately to play it his crass classiness to reject. Uncomfortably prone and unable to escape, run, deter, broken, and battered. He was primed and wounded and a confrontation of this caliber wasn’t ever his foresaw… Least not this early. She approached him and bonked him with a skilled-jab to his nose and whipped out her sheathed pistol in hostility, she wasn’t someone that intended to have her questions be lied or fouled. Plus what even, <how could he open up with that?!> even with his own fleshing blood this man hadn’t any shame or lack of care with greetings. Her major worst fears though was either he knew who she was. Which meant he selfishly ignored and allowed devastation to befall her life. Or even worse he was so far disconnected and didn't ever assume someone would find him. “Marking me up, o’ feisty one. Regardless as ya’ can see, I b’ out of commission on usefulness. Should b’ some rat-sacks at the ol’ Q-Sands.” His gaze caught a briefness of her earrings; they made him see a hinge of familiarity. His composure and visage returning with a lighted bloody nose in leakage. He noticed her punches packed a wallop. His mind even rattled; she indeed was one thing; had conviction to a cause. Her tone was cooled, fierce on her shoulder and recollected, composed. All her emotions almost protruded in suppression. She was going to just interrogate him. Her meaning behind staying armed; was she didn’t know what type of pirate this was or if those injuries were even genuine, yet. This was just another slime-ball. One unfortunately who didn’t know she was a law and couldn’t be ever obscured from the truth. “You know exactly who I am. Don’t you?” “Nay.”  He shot down. Her earrings glowed an half-audible <om> Meaning a half-truth. She’d intimidatingly shook and reposition in closer with her firearm. “Eighteen Summers ago, you were captured and seized and thrown into an illegal coliseum under the hush. There you met a woman, you two fought for your freedom. Until getting to each other in the final contest. One would get an allowance to be returned to the surface; a lease to life. Recall?” “Nay” Shaking his head enthusiastically with disapproval. Again the same repeat happening the earrings louder <om> only to her drums. She didn’t reveal knowing he lied. Only through expressions of intimidation. She’d coldishly shoot over his shoulder into a window to make a point. At this point his brow furrowed. Stricken in curiosity. How she knew his deceit. Shrugging his neck. Looking for an exit with his orbital but alas; nothing. No escaping with these injuries. A withdrawn exhale sled off. “...What happened to her?”  He admitted. Peaked and lowly looking over the barrel, “She went missing; presumed dead. Some man matching your descriptions so-called swooned her and you promised to get her out and liberate her. You never came. She forfeited and resigned to secure your freedom. Condemning herself willing to slavery for you! And the heartless bastard you are, you cared not what came of it.” His turn to chime in and retort, “The operation closed. She would’ve been freed when th’ Scaled Order figured out. ‘I heard’ a tip break through, freed them all… Let’s assume she did go missing; what did she do with the hoard? Are you certain? She didn’t just leave you?” Pointing blunt this ordeal was messy. Her arm mildly fidgeted. What in any world was he confessing or trying to stir up, a dubious implant? “Everyone was freed but it didn’t stop the organizers from ransoming those recently captured, they were on the cesspool. Having to get-by, there’s nowhere to run or go. I was raised in an alley. Cornerstone harlots and drug dealers are the shaded outskirts of society in the Lanes. Of course she wouldn’t have abandoned me! I saw her the day she told me to hide, after that my friend of the streets saved me and I lived with them. Though everyday for the last ten summers, I’ve awaited her.” Captain listened while nodding and closing his lids. The pain was felt and absorbed also by the realization of this encounter he was getting unnervingly old. “But the hoard?” Pausing, “I had one of my matey’s leave all my possessions and wealthy belongings before I went into the Black Shrouds and retreated fer my deserved sentence. I was told they were received at a place matching the description of your inhabitants. By someone in yer complex residence. That should’ve occurred Eleven Summers prior. Heard it was ‘handled’ and ya’ received.” Her mind screamed, <Wait> As she recalled for the short-exchange in her life-period they had an Uncle staying with her. Briefly, a dispute happened. She began putting connections together. Abruptly in cub youth she confronted her sobbing Mother. Supposedly the Uncle just up-and-disappeared. Without any traces. What if he received all these wealth's and belongings on behalf. Trying to honestly seem like he was intending to look after his sister’s interest, but in reality his greed seized opportunity. How she loathed pirates! They even created more, they were stain’s of Eorzea. The chain of events spiraled because her Uncle wasn’t also helping with covering the costs of shared living seeing them evicted from their place of living and on the sidewalks underneath little blanketed fortifications.                 (Previous) — /References/  —   ♫  — (Next Page)

[asocier]

peeks back into tumblr, stays purely for 🎰

( five random connections; not accepting! )

Cedric & Huan 

          I’M LAUGHING BC I FOUND THIS POST AND ALKJSLKAJDS CEDRIC IS THE SAME WAY cedric can’t see shit without his glasses but he refuses to wear them out in public and only wears contacts and sometimes he really has to choose between being blind and a danger to society or wearing his glasses which really isn’t a big deal because he looks good in them but it’s the principle, it goes against his standards for his appearance. anyway, i thought that was really funny and idk maybe huan and cedric can just be blind asses together alsjdlsa that would honestly be like, so lighthearted in comparison to the dark shit huan has gone through though, and even cedric has had his own rough upbringing and tumultuous relationship with his family. 

          i’m not entirely sure how these two would cross paths, but if they did, it’d be interesting to see how cedric handles huan’s trauma and whether or not cedric would see bits of himself in huan or like, resonate with some of what huan has been through like the idea of not being able to really be a child growing up, not understanding what trauma is at an early age, ect. granted, what cedric went through is not on the same level as what huan went through, but it’s not like cedric’s upbringing was super smooth sailing either so ??? i dunno, it’s something to think about. 

Emile & Mineko

          not that mineko is looking for sympathy or anything, but i feel like emile would have a soft spot for her. i feel like emile generally has a soft spot for artists thrown into the music industry because he’s come to learn how cutthroat it really is, and how soul-sucking the creation of music has become when profits takeover genuine creativity. emile doesn’t make the same music mineko does since he focuses mostly on classical music, but he understands how important of an outlet playing, creating, and performing music can be, so if mineko and emile were to ever cross paths ( he honestly would have no idea who she was because he lives under a rock, so it’s possible she could indulge in that ignorance ), if he ever caught whiff of that dark awareness that slips out from mineko now and then due to her unprocessed trauma, i feel like he’d try to brighten her day now and then bc he has this protective older brother energy in him ( and i think mineko is 19? while emile is 24, so there’d be an age gap if that was the case ). 

Alison & Kuroha

          first of all, i love kuroha. secondly, i see a lot of similarities between alison and kuroha which i think would make for some really interesting interactions, especially in alison’s  spy verse  which i would definitely be open to adjusting to make it work for kuroha as well. i bring up the spy verse specifically because i think kuroha and spy alison view romantic relationships in a very similar way, and also carry themselves in that kind of “two-faced” manner where upon first glance, they’re like pretty and feminine which makes you put your guard down and makes you vulnerable to when they’re actually about to kill you. like, they have moments where they can be soft, like their shared appreciation of flowers, but they definitely aren’t people you should underestimate. 

         just off the top of my head, i think a possible dynamic ( if you were interested in this verse at all ) would be that kuroha was associated with the agency alison worked for as like, one of the doctors who would treated wounded agents. because you know, you cant be sending agents to just any doctor, especially when the agency is doing some shady shit on the side. anyway, if we go down that route, kuroha would see alison a lot for check ups, physicals, treatment, ect, and, the girls could talk about their lives like friends tbh. another route would be if kuroha did autopsies for the agency, like if it came down to a situation of like “so this really important figure we’ve been tracking died suddenly which seems like foul play, can you confirm?”, it’s possible alison gets assigned to the case especially if it was suppose to be her mission before to take down that person but alas someone beat her to it. 

          this is definitely like, me digging deep into the spy verse lore and this probably makes no sense to you, but if this interests you at all, you’re definitely welcome to hit me up!!! even if you don’t wanna go down the spy verse route, i think canon alison and kuroha or even werewolf alison and kuroha could get along. cue alison trying to get sleeping pills for jaesung bc his ass is about to lose his shit if she doesn’t 🙄 also i read jaehwa’s bio and i love her too, spy verse is definitely open to her too if you wanna do that

Leah & Jaehwa

          leah’s so baby in comparison to jaehwa. i feel like it’d be a dynamic that would be like, jaehwa showing leah how to stay safe if she’s walking home alone in the dark, if she’s meeting guys for the first time for dates — self defense type of stuff. like leah would definitely look up to jaehwa if they ever met, and it might even get to a point were leah just thinks jaehwa’s so badass that she might get intimidated to approach alkjdalsjdlaALKJSDLKSAJ i don’t know off the bat how these two could meet since leah’s just suffering in college trying her best and crying herself to sleep because she’s stressed out, but like, she’d really admire jaehwa tbh

          i saw that jaehwa has a demon heart, and i was thinking that if leah in her angel verse ever crossed paths with jaehwa, she’d be super curious about why she’s sensing demon vibes from someone who looks human so that’s another possible connection route. it’d be pretty lighthearted for the most part though since angel leah is even more baby, but like, she’s a rude baby alsdlkas also cyanide teeth wtf that’s so hardcore what

Nate & Haruka

          OH SO THIS IS WHO JAESUNG’S HEART IS FROM hm hm hm my first thought is that, since haruka is also a werewolf, it’d make sense to have her meet nate in his werewolf verse as well! nate as a werewolf grew up packless essentially, being outcasted at an early age, so he has very much been living that rouge life and has that reputation of being a rogue living on his own. he tends to keep to himself a lot, but he likes city life, so it’d be interesting if it was a case of haruka and nate meeting in tokyo and kind of finding unexpected common ground. he’s kind of an asshole though so i’m not sure how much haruka would like him in the first place though alkjdkas—

[imagine-fight-write]

RANDOM - Banana Fish Review, Vol. 1, Part Four

(This was one of my fav gifs looking for gifs of Shorter.)

*There will be pictures/gifs included tomorrow, because this is already late & loading them is taking forever, for some reason.

Haha, no, I actually prettied it up 1/5/21. Yes, I’m glorious.

No I’m actually Dio DIO in this situation, who am I kidding.

(This transition from Caesar to Dio fascinates me, by the way.) (The GIF.)

The JOJO reference is because I’ve finally finished Diamond is Unbreakable! It was fun! I enjoyed it a lot! Ready for the next part!

But back to Banana Fish.

Hope you enjoy this!

So my plans failed again. Who is surprised? (Not me.)

I apologize profusely for the gaping void of Banana Fish-ness left since last I posted.

No really. I now have an alarm set for every Wednesday.

Let’s see how this goes. News Update: Maybe next time.

Also, my internet is still blitzy & rotten, otherwise I would’ve posted this yesterday (the 15th).

Now on to the in-depth, delighted gushing - er, review, of Banana Fish!

*Also, this is part 4, and 4 is a special number for me. Because of this guy:

And I can spell his name correctly!!! (It’s Ulquiorra, from Bleach, my 1st anime fan gushing love.)

Yes, I’m strange. Moving on.

So, brief recap, since I’m not sure anyone has read Part 3, given how terrifyingly long it is. If you missed it, here’s the link:

https://imagine-fight-write.tumblr.com/post/632014616404344832/random-banana-fish-review-vol-1-part-3-my

Please love & like it & repost to the rest of the Web. I worked tremendously hard on it.

Yes it’s long, but oh, it was delightful! There was snark! Delicious food! Wine! Fabulous mustaches! Mysteries! I gushed so much!

(And snarled at the wonton waste of good breakfast food, which I will not forget & always condemn.)

*I mean, I know people who will throw up if they have breakfast in the morning. But it’s important to eat so you have energy to do things & feel good.

And Dino took a perfectly beautiful breakfast & essentially wasted it for no good reason. I was so mad.

We meet Dino Golzine, a.k.a., Ash’s worst nemesis /enemy (note, I can’t spell nemesis) and major reason for why his life sucks.

(Although society doesn’t help either. Though the police try. They really do. Except what’s his face who’s complete scum & thoughtless, but we won’t meet him til Vol. 2. Plus I don’t think he has a name?)

But yes, Dino Golzine. All around awful person, and not safe around children (or anyone, really.) He’s low-key in this scene, mostly using verbal assaults (to great effect) but just you wait. There’s a reason he’s a mob boss.

Ash snarks, to great effect, but he’s no match. Dino has all the cards and all the dice (cards & dice being metaphors for power, & how he involves awful, painful memories of Ash’s past & tries to manipulate & order him around. Brrr.)

But Ash rallies, and ultimately refuses returning to be Dino’s heir / toy.

We meet Shorter! Huzzah!

(End of recap.)

It’s clear right away Shorter & Ash are old friends. They exchange quips about Marvin. We learn Marvin holds a mean grudge, so savvy readers can guess it’ll come to play later (it does.)

Shorter’s last line is strange.

“Just don’t put me in the position of having to kill you.”

Which is kinda out of the blue. I don’t know what to make of it. It doesn’t spoil or fore-shadow anything (unless in a very confused, round-about way) because that never happens later. So I’m confused.

Ash laughs it off and goes zooming off on his motor-bike / motorcycle (not sure which).

Note, from this short scene we already learn Shorter has his own sources of information - he knows Ash went to Dino’s, fast enough to be there before their conversation ended (unless he was just lucky to be there already  - why was he there?). He already knows about Ash’s talk with Marvin, with enough detail to warn Ash about Marvin’s temper & that Marvin likes him, which is a bad combination.

Shorter is smart & cares about his friends, warning Ash about Marvin. 

Aren’t friends great?

Especially after meeting such a dominating if soft spoken monster like Dino?

The answer is yes.

Next, we get this hilariously great shot of Ash running up the steps to his dingy apartment (pg. 47.)

 It’s reminiscent for me of a scene in JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Part 1, when Jonathan & Dino have their epic fight in the Joestar mansion.

There’s a part where Jonathan does this epic flip up to a second floor via sword (it’s epic) & it ends with this a few-seconds-longer-than it-needs-to-be shot of his butt. You can’t miss it. I’m usually oblivious to such things & I noticed it. I laugh every single time.

Anyway, back to Banana Fish.

(The atmosphere of grunginess (it’s not a word, I meant dirty, ugly, rough) & spartan furniture is great. Just look at those walls. I adore it. 

(But would never want to live there.) Ash is clearly not rich & after Dino’s rich mansion, this is a stark contrast.

Also, there are no pictures or posters on the walls (which are festooned with dirt and cracks instead.) In fact, there’s almost nothing in terms of personal effects at all.

This baffles me. I mean yes, I assume they’re all dirt poor, living in a gang & working for the mafia on the side isn’t something you do for the luxuries. But surely they’d have something.

Or maybe it has something to do with Japanese decorating aesthetics? Meaning, Japanese appear to be more spartan than Americans in terms of decor (see the book, In Praise of Shadows, for example.) 

* I can’t spell aesthetics. Why do I even use that word?

The apartment just looks extremely bare compared to others I’ve seen in movies depicting this era. Is what I’m saying.

Look at those bare walls. (It hurts me.)

Thoughts? Comments on how Japanese, Americans, and Europeans differ in basic decorating styles? Comment below!

Also remember as always, Banana Fish is both set & was written in the 1980’s, well before the “modern” style we have now.

Unless - wait. There is something very important to Ash which he’s clearly hiding in the apartment he goes to, which I assume only Skip & select members know about.

So maybe this isn’t actually Ash’s main base, where he sleeps & hangs out?

Yes, that must be it.

If you’re confused, I’ll explain once we get done with this section.

Moving on.

We meet Skip!!!! (Pg.47)

Black characters (and Latino) are still, alas, extremely rare in manga, anime, & other media, so all the cheers for including Skip so early & as such an important character.

Because Skip is very important. For multiple reasons. More on that later. Also note, 1 of the gang members Ash busts earlier is also black.

Again, the dialogue is great here between Ash & Skip, establishing Ash’s trust in him. Which is no small thing.

Skip is like Shorter, (agh, both their names start with S) sweet, but also has a nose for news.

Arthur’s going to get it, hah!

There’s yet another reference to it being early.

Though there’s no specific time mentioned . . . Nope, not since Ash found the poor, dying banana fish dude.

Does Ash usually sleep in? Is he a night owl? He was wandering around at 1 in the morning last night, after all.

*Yes, technically it was early morning, but it was still dark, so bite me.

But then, he was also suspicious & keeping tabs on his 2 gang members. So, who knows.

But I’m going to guess he’s a night owl.

Ash sits on the bed, and after Skip mentions everything is good, “him, too”.

 Ash gives his 1st real, genuine smile. Gentle, relieved, no hard edges. Just pure happiness & relief. It’s sweet.

(Also, I just realized the “him, too” is supposed to be a surprise / shock for the reader & I spoiled it earlier. I do apologize.)

Skip offers to get coffee but Ash declines, deciding to nap, which reminds me:

Actually, drinking coffee before you take a nap can, for some people, actually make you sleep better.

Also, short cat naps (15-30mins) can boost your energy and mood.

Naps are good for you!

I almost wondered if the comics Skip had on the table might’ve been manga, but remembered it was the 1980’s and, far as I know, manga wasn’t big the U.S. yet. Alas!

Which is funny if you think about this being in a manga.

Skip goes to leave. Ash puts his hand in his pocket and gets this intense, almost fierce expression on his face (middle panel, pg. 48).

I was absolutely baffled by this reaction for a long time, but finally figured it out. Ash’s reaction is supposed to be baffling, because what he realizes right here will be revealed in the next few pages.

Skip, concerned, asks what’s up, but Ash brushes him off and sends him off to buy coffee. (After which I sincerely hope he takes a nap, because he needs one, he’s been up all night.) Sleep is good for you!

Skip is able to buy coffee with a single coin. A single coin.

(Sorry, I couldn’t resist.)

All my tears, and curses on inflation and overpriced coffee! And Starbucks!

Anyway, we learn Arthur’s going to get it (and Skip is the best spy ever) and the scene cuts to:

Our favorite person (not) Dino Golzine, tending his orchids.

I like this. It’s a rather unique hobby for a villian. I assume to give him a refined, elegant, and exact air.

He’s interrupted by Angie & his fabulous mustache (snickers) and this delightfully comic scientist person (who might be important later? The face sameness makes it difficult to judge, & I’m too lazy to consult my other volumes, which are not close by.)

But his entrance is priceless (pg. 50). I mean seriously, please go find it if you haven’t already. It’s dramatic, with a big WHAM! & he looks so cartoonish. 

I love it.

Dino tells him, essentially, “don’t disturb my orchids” and me being an non-gardner person, I wonder: is it actually true loud noises can disturb flowers?

Comment below!

Anyway, Dino quickly establishes yes, he did send Ash’s gang members to kill the poor banana fish guy who started this whole mystery, and yes, it was important.

There’s a great panel (pg. 51) of scientist dude, drawn much less comedic, the whole panel black except for a white aura around him sweating and clearly in distress.

He whispers, “It - it’s gone.”

Dino snaps to attention with a leonine look, exactly like a cat who has just spotted another cat. It’s easily my favorite picture of Dino so far, very striking.

The dialogue is brilliant and snappy, short and direct.

“What is gone? . . . You’re positive? . . . Just a small amount.”

And we get the grand reveal:

Ash, taking out a bullet shaped capsule (was the shape intentional by Yoshida?). A capsule he’d clearly taken from the dying banana fish guy. There’s a great panel on the bottom of pg. 52 of Ash’s questioning expression and a ?

He unscrews the capsule and pulls out a tiny vial.

Thinks of the address the dying banana fish guy gave him.

Ash goes into the next room, where we see the silhouette of someone sitting with a plaid blanket draped across their knees.

He expresses his first real look of vulnerability, and gives a wonderful line:

“Go see . . . Banana fish . . . He said it and died. And you say it and you might as well be dead. Who did this to you? Griff . . . Please tell me, big brother.”

Everything clicks together (almost.)

Griff /Griffin is the soldier shown way back in the very beginning. The one who left for a few minutes and came back insane and shot up his squad.

Who’s now a human vegetable.

Banana fish is clearly responsible. Somehow.

And Dino is mixed in with it (of course). Pieces are coming together, but questions still remain.

Until next time!

[queerchoicesblog]

The Florentine Lady

Folks, the wlw story set in the Italian Renaissance suggested by @scottishqueer for the wlw writing project continues. Time to introduce the mysterious Florentine lady, wife of a brilliant architect.

If you do happen to like this miniseries, please consider spreading the word!

Previous chapter: After The Storm

Previous series: Ancient Greece

_____________________________

A few days later, I pay a visit to my most wondrous tailor and commission him a series of accessories for both my costume and Riccardo's: we have to be impeccable! He winks at me and assures me he will do everything within his power to turn them into wonders that will catch the eye of the Duke himself. I love masquerade balls so much and I count the hours until when I will finally put my Flora costume on.

I'm smiling on my way back to the castle for my card match with my dear mother-in-law. I'm basking in my carefree happiness and in the gorgeous sun shining bright today that it takes me a moment to notice a blonde figure admiring the castle from the edge of the bridge. She doesn't take a step in? Is she scared off by the guards? What a missed chance!

"You chose the best angle to admire the Duke's castle, ma'am" I say as I approach, hoping to give her the little push she needs.

Oh, I startle her, poor thing! She looks behind her and notices me. I smile at her and she turns back towards the castle.

"So this is the best angle..."

To my surprise, she sounds skeptical. What she says next irritates me even more.

"Is this all your castle has to offer?"

A sudden realisation hits me. I laugh. But of course!

"Ah, you must be the new Florentine lady"

She turns back towards me as if I stang her with a needle.

"My fame precedes me, I see"

"Indeed it does, milady" I confirm, mocking a curtesy.

She rolls her eyes and laughs bitterly.

"It doesn't sound like good news by the way you talk to me"

"Well, it's surprisingly easy for ladies with an attitude to get a reputation" I observe with pretended nonchalance.

"Do you think I have an attitude?" she asks and she looks genuinely confused, only slightly annoyed by the implication.

"You? And who would ever say that? You've just arrived, we'll have to wait and see. Fare ye well, fair lady of Florence" I answer, walking past her to enter the castle, my home.

I'm pretty proud of my witticism: I put her in her place, I'm quite sure of that. God knows, maybe for once Maria is right: the new lady is no fun. And no fun is not the right attitude to have in Ferrara.

The day after I entertain my friends with my accidental encounter with the Florentine and we laugh of it. She certainly has guts: we're not Rome the Great nor her Florence but our Duchy is the peak of modernity. She should know: isn't her husband working with Biagio Rossetti, the genius moulding our lively city into something new, unprecedented? The most talented artists decorate our palaces and our gatherings are blessed with the finest music. We're second to no one. Not even Florence, superb arrogant Florence.

But it's getting late, time to attend the evening mass. As we head to the Cathedral, I spot Riccardo standing in the main square. I wave at him and beckon him to join us. He obliges after pressing a kiss on my lips. On our way back to the castle, we walk arm in arm a few steps ahead of my friends. He confides me that when I saw him, he had just taken his leave from the architect and his wife.

"A remarkable man, if you ask him: I'm glad Duke Alfonso didn't turn a merchant's ear to Biagio's request and invited him to join the enterprise. He's a true artist, a man already thinking in future terms, so to speak. Excellent addition to our court"

"And what about her?" I inquiry. "What do you think of the lady?"

"His wife?" he says, furrowing his brows before shrugging. "She doesn't talk much but she seems a fine lady"

"If you say so..." I giggle as we set foot on the castle's bridge.

I couldn't possibly foresee that a few days later he would ask me to show the Florentine around. The city, the churches...or invite her to join the sewing circle or "whatever gathering you women do". My first question is "why?", the second "why me?". But he's already heading to his meeting with the Duke. He just says something about being a good neighbour and introducing her to court. Before I can protest, he's out of the door.

I sigh in resignation. The idea of spending time with the architect's wife is the opposite of thrilling but I know my husband. He's as stubborn as a mule: if I refuse, he will keep asking until I eventually surrender out of exasperation. So, I grab a quibble and write a note.

The next day she's waiting for me in the garden. She picked a crimson dress that certainly was in vague in Florence but not here. It suits her, though. I put on my best practised smile and greet here. We chat a little but soon an uncomfortable silence falls so I suggest we go on our walk, lady...

"Your friends didn't even tell you my name? Nor your husband?" she asks, amused and bitter.

I'm forced to recognise that this is exactly what happened. I refrain from admitting it though.

"I'm so sorry. I'm afraid I forgot it but they must have surely-" I start but she cuts me short.

"No reason in lying to me. I just thought..." she sighs in defeat. "I just thought they did"

Then she looks at me.

"It's Cristina. My name's Cristina"

I refrain from saying it's a lovely name, fearing she would take my words as forced kindness.

"Emilia" I only say, smiling apologetically and offering her my hand to shake.

I suddenly feel uncomfortable: it's not going well and we haven't even started our walk. Thank God, the feeling eases as we wander through the streets of Ferrara. I share stories and facts, even if I'm sure Riccardo would have been a better guide. I ask her about her parentage: she tells me her mother is French, from Alsace. She's never been to France but she can speak the language properly. She has two sisters and a two brother, the oldest one lives in Spain.

"He's a diplomat, just like your husband" she explains.

As we talk, we reach the area where her husband works: I ask her if she would like to have a look even if there's still little to see. The new boulevards are shaping though. She agrees and I start a passionate speech about the exciting times we live in.

"Do you ever feel lucky to live in a time like now? I do. I mean, look at this city, at these streets: they're changing and we can't yet foresee the final result but you can tell a new...world is rising. It's here, underneath the surface and enterprises like the Addizione are bringing it to life. Enough with those narrow filthy alleys, let's have light and space and fresh air instead. Let's expand the borders of our gaze. Your husband is lucky to work firsthand in this enterprise" I note with proud excitement.

She keeps quiet though, so I continue. I don't get why she doesn't sound thrilled too.

"Even our world is broadening. You were speaking of France, Spain...what about the West Indies? Oh, lucky those who can set sails towards them! We hosted an explorer at court once, he brought back the most curious objects and even a bird with extravagant colours! He shared stories of those lands, he said it's like a terrestrial Eden, can you believe that?"

I sigh contently.

"It's exciting how so many things are changing all at once..."

"And we don't get to take part to any of it"

Her voice is somber just like the look on her face.

"Well, we can always enjoy the view and breathe in these winds of change. I'll tell you what? We'll take a walk down these new boulevards when they're done and we'll keep walking until we reach the fields outside the city. We'll pick flowers and make flower jewels out of them! God, I hope I still remember how, I haven't braided flower crowns since I was a child" I suggest, hoping my enthusiasm may be infectious.

"Sure, we can...watch all of it from afar"

Alas, it's not. Cristina doesn't look comforted nor cheered up by my words. She wanders forward and rests her hand on a raw stone at the top of a pile. The builders are working down the road and left them here. Her slender fingers gently grazed the stone as if it was a dear friend. When she speaks again, her voice is filled with such melancholy my chest tightens.

"I envy my husband, you know. There are days he hates his job but he doesn't understand how lucky he is. He has a purpose and a place in the world, this fascinating, changing world, as you say. He sits at his desk and knows he will leave a mark, his signature in the world to come. He touches this stone and knows it will be positioned right there, near that tree. He will be an actor of this modernity not a...paying spectator sitting quietly in the dark of a theatre"

She takes a pause before adding grimly:

"I have no purpose nor a place in the world. My days are empty, filled by mindless occupations that are supposed to make the passage of time more bearable. But I feel so lonely and worthless. When I die, I will walk away from this world like a...shadow. Nothing more. A shadow vanishing into the void"

"Oh, Cristina, what are you saying? What brought such sad thoughts on?" I smile weakly, walking closer.

She turns towards me and searches my eyes. I don't know what she hopes to find on my face.

"Don't you envy your husband, Emilia? He's among the advisors of the Duke, he guides him into taking decisions that shape the future of the city and the whole Duchy. He's a diplomat, he's in touch with the most prominent members of society all over the world, royalties, the Pope, nobles...he can influence history. Don't you envy him?"

I take her hands into mine and give them a squeeze.

"You are not lonely. Not as you think...I-I can be your friend. We started off on the wrong foot but let's leave it behind us, huh? It's never too late to start a friendship"

I give her an encouraging smile as she ponders my words. Then she winces, slowly retrieving her hands.

"But you don't understand me"

We walk back to the castle in complete silence. When we arrive there, I offer to have someone escorting her to her place but she shakes her head and refuses. She thanks me for showing her around and walks away before I can formulate an answer. Soon she disappears into the crowd gathering around the market nearby. I shake my head too and walk inside, but her melancholy affected me.

[galaxy-parchment]

Vampire AU

1 : 2 : 3 : 4 : 5 : 6  : 7 : 8 : 9 : 10 : 11 : 12 : 13 : 14 : 15 (you are are)

This is finally finished! Good lord that took a while I expected this to be half as long as it ended up being. As usual please leave comments/tags/replies of what you thought of the overall story (its okay you can be honest) and feel free to send any asks at any time if you ever want me to answer any questions. 

--

Jekyll led the way out of the office and stared down the expectant, though well-guarded, crowd before them, courtesy of Rachel brandishing that knife she never seemed to put down.

Lanyon tried not to look weak under all the glares he was getting, but he’d seen how insane these people could be. If this went wrong he’d be lucky to get the chance to flee London. Despite his obviously fake courage, he stood his ground beside Jekyll, who inhaled deeply, about to speak. He held onto the breath for a moment and exhaled it out into his first words.

“I know you’re scared, and confused, and angry, and feeling a lot of strong feelings about the situation, but please hear me out,” he paused, hoping his pleas weren’t falling on deaf ears.

Some people’s expressions didn’t change, but the air of curiosity and general lack of outburst prompted Jekyll to continue. 

“I think we of all people should understand that everyone deserves a second chance,”some heads rose in recognition, “and the opportunity to be a part of a community of like-minded individuals. Individuals who won’t hold judgement against them.” Jekyll glanced back at him, jerking his head slightly to them, still observing. Lanyon took a moment to realise that Jekyll wanted him to speak. Of course. Bloody hell.

He shifted, moving to Jekyll’s side, and could swear he felt himself sweating despite his physical incapability to do so. “I’m… sorry for my… outburst… yesterday. I swear that I didn’t intend to actually harm anyone and was fully aware that Luckett wasn’t in his room that evening,” he insisted, his voice almost breaking from how nervous he was.

“Why’d you do it then?“ called Pennybrygg, who was one of the few lodgers still accompanying the now less frazzled Luckett.

“I was… er… acting on… some…. personal issues…” Lanyon attempted to get out, mumbling the end in shame. He directed his gaze towards Luckett, who was looking quite annoyed at him. “I’d be happy to help you restore your room, however, Mr Luckett.” He was relieved to see him ponder on it for a moment and grumpily nod his head with a grunt. Lanyon’s lacklustre explanation earned him some unimpressed faces, but Luckett’s acceptance of the offer seemed to stop anyone from protesting.

Jekyll cleared his throat, drawing attention away from Lanyon, who was clearly not used to speaking to this sort of audience. “We’re all people who have an appreciation for the strange, the macabre, the odd. To make things right with all of you who feel violated by having the presence of a vampire in your lives for so long, Dr Lanyon has agreed to allow you to ask for his help in any experiments that may require… someone such as himself… in them.”

That sparked some excited murmurs. Within seconds any mention of doubt or annoyance was lost and overpowered by a lively discussion about the possibilities this opened up. Questions were being yelled out at the two of them about what exactly they were allowed to do. The first few questions were answered but it soon became an impossible task.

Lanyon felt himself being dragged away by the arm. It took him a moment to actually look down at who it was. He was relieved to see Rachel. She didn’t seem to look as angry as he’d thought. If anyone in the building had a right to be upset with him it was certainly Rachel. All he could see in her eyes was gentle sympathy.

“I’m guessing that this is why you never eat my garlic chicken?” she asked, giving him a reassuring grin. Lanyon found himself slowly being led away from the lodgers, somehow unnoticed by them.

“No, actually, it turns out I actually can eat garlic. I’m just not a fan of chicken.” He chuckled back at her.

She huffed, half-giggling as she did, “And here I thought you’d at least use the opportunity to make an excuse for yourself!” They both took the opportunity to laugh off the tension of the situation. They both drifted into silence and Lanyon saw Rachel’s happy expression weaken into something inexplicably sad.

“Rachel, I’m sorry I never said anything to you - I didn’t want you worrying about me. Jekyll’s already a handful on a bad day.”

“You didn’t have to worry about me, Lanyon. I’m built tough, you know that,” she smiled, giving him a friendly nudge on the arm.

“I haven’t destroyed any hopes of you trusting me in the future, have I? Aside from Jekyll, I don’t really have many other people I can call a friend.”

She stared at him for a moment before breaking out into the most genuine laugh she’d let out for the whole conversation. “You’re not all that bright for a Doctor, are you? You think something like being a vampire is gonna scare me off?” She looked back at the crowd of lodgers bombarding an overwhelmed Jekyll with questions, some relating to the news and others drifting off to other topics, then back to Lanyon. “I live here, I can handle a little bit of craziness.”

Lanyon smiled at her with such a pure, light relief he feared he’d start floating where he stood. Rachel glanced at the nearest set of stairs and tilted her head towards it.

“Come on, you’d better get started on cleaning up Luckett’s room. I’ll grab some supplies for you.”

“I don’t suppose I’ll be getting any help with my least favourite type of labour, would I?”

Rachel placed a firm hand on his back and pushed him towards the stairs alongside her. “Don’t be ridiculous, Doctor, what kind of a redemption would that be?”

Despite how heartwarming the moment was, Lanyon was starting to dread this whole ‘apology’ business.

-

Everything was, astonishingly, quite normal after yesterday’s events.

Granted the extremely emotionally moving speech Jekyll gave was quite a substantial factor in the amazing outcome. Lanyon was nonetheless eternally grateful for the good reception he was getting.

He still got some stern looks in the Society and a few mild threats as he passed through the halls. He also got some very invasive questions about how his physiology worked, not that he entirely knew himself. Everything was otherwise quite normal considering he’d been revealed to be one of the most heinous types of beast in all of London.

He did appreciate that Jasper fellow’s offer to get him a less… morally ambiguous… source of human blood that he used to feed some of his pets. He wasn’t quite sure how much he would like where the blood came from, but it was probably better than murdering whatever poor sap was stupid enough to get drunk in the East End.

He might have to lie about how much blood he needed and get some for Jekyll as well.

-

Jekyll carried his hefty case of equipment upstairs. He’d almost forgotten she was there. Alas, forgetting didn’t mean she didn’t exist, so upon being reminded by an off-handed comment from Rachel he made his way over.

She looked very comfortable, bundled up in her blankets reading a book. It appeared to be new so he assumed it was a gift from one of her new adoring fans. She looked up at him and, strangely enough, smiled at him. Jekyll would be lying if he said that didn’t put him on edge at all.

He went through the usual routine. Say hello, open the case, make her medicine for the day and make sure she took it. She had this demeanour about her, though. Whenever he said anything, did anything, even took a moment to look at her, she had this mischievous grin, like she had some brilliant secret she was desperate not to tell. Eventually his curiosity got the better of him as she downed his medicine.

“What’s got you so… cheerful… today?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

“I’m so glad you asked, Doctor.” She casually fiddled with her own gloved hand, keeping that smirk on her face. “I was listening in on yesterday’s commotion, quite an outstanding resolution I must say. I personally wouldn’t have even noticed your friend was a vampire, since I’ve never even met him.” She looked up at him. “But I couldn’t help but think about how you always act.”

“What do you mean?” Jekyll asked carefully, keeping his voice as level as he could.

“Oh, nothing much, just how you’re pale some days and the next day you look flush as ever. How you talk less whenever your skin becomes quite pale. The way your eyes twitch ever so slightly whenever you give me intravenous medicines…”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

“Hmph, I thought you would be much more open at this point, but I suppose keeping up your facade is quite important. I believe you are a vampire, Doctor. A drainer, as you Londoners tend to call them.”

Jekyll’s blood would have run colder if it could. “That’s ridiculous, are you sure you don’t have a fever or something?” He began packing his things, sending her the message that he was about to leave.

She rested her chin on her elbow, which was propped up on her knee. “Really, Doctor Jekyll, I promise I won’t tell.” He stopped for a moment and stared her down, looking for some hint that she wasn’t toying with him. It was impossible to see through all of that smugness. She was obviously having some fun with this.

“Really?”

“Yes. It appears I may have thought you to be the wrong variant of blood-sucker. I much prefer a creature of the night than some pompous buffoon. A lot more fun to deal with, so I will let this slide for now. Creature insists that being disliked will be the least of your problems if I come to harm, anyway,” she said as she gestured to the monster in question, who simply gave a stern nod to him that Jekyll acknowledged solemnly.

“T-thank you, Frankenstein.”

“Of course, we beasts of humanity must live in harmony.” He wasn’t sure how comfortable he was with that comment.

Jekyll packed the rest of his things and quietly stepped out of the room, keeping an eye on them as he left. The grin didn’t leave Frankenstein’s face, but it didn’t seem as menacing as it did before. Instead it was more playful. Once he closed the door behind him, he let a tense sigh escape him. 

He reminded himself to yell at Hyde a bit for getting bitten in the first place.

[sepublic]

Unusual opinion incoming, but I really feel like It Has To Be This Way from Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance kind of works as a song about how Eda and Lilith view one another, with the perspective interchangeable between the two?

Just hear me out on these lyrics as I try to apply them to the siblings’ dynamic;

Standing here

I realize

You are just like me

Trying to make history

I’ve speculated before that Eda and Lilith, as much as they are polar opposites, are also very similar to one another; That they in some ways parallel Azura and Hecate, but the roles they take are also interchangeable as well. Meaning Eda could be Azura and Lilith is Hecate, but also vice-versa (and that’s not even taking into account the old lady that Azura hangs out with in the books, but I digress). They’re both frustrated with their sibling for doing something they see as morally wrong (Being an outlaw/Supporting a corrupt system), and stand strongly by their own choices. Still, they care deeply for the other sibling, while also possibly being a bit too dismissive of what the other has to say.

The lyrics above could work as Eda/Lilith recognizing the duality between the two, how they’re both the same person, with the same issues and the same sibling. Eda is ‘making history’ by actively defying the Coven System, while Lilith is fostering the next generation of Witches, ushering in a ‘new age of controlled magic’.

But who’s to judge

The right from wrong

When our guard is down

I think we’ll both agree

That

Violence breeds violence

But in the end it has to be this way

What we have here works with how Eda and Lilith both think they’re doing the right thing, and accuse the other of doing the ‘wrong’ thing. Mind you, in both the original context of this song as well as where we’re applying it here, one of the two in this duality is still framed from the narrative as being in the wrong, and rightfully so; But generally speaking, this line plays with the idea that both characters genuinely believe in what they’re doing. And for Eda and Lilith, both legit care for the other and want them to realize the error of their ways, so to speak.

“Violence breeds violence” doesn’t exactly apply to this situation, but then again this song wasn’t used to describe Eda and Lilith, but two very different characters in a very different situation. But the line could also be one sister admitting that their conflict with the other is possibly going to get worse due to their different stances; But alas, neither sibling can stand down. Both believe in what they’re doing, and both believe they’re doing what’s best for the other; In Eda’s case, she wants Lilith to abandon the Emperor’s Coven, but Lilith thinks Eda should join it instead. Eda in particular may have suffered from ostracization and been rejected by society, but I doubt she regrets what she’s done; She clearly lives by and embraces her deviancy, and if given the chance to do it again, she will. ‘It has to be this way’, indeed.

I’ve carved my own path

You followed your wrath

But maybe we’re both the same

This verse can refer to Eda and Lilith both suffering to get where they are; Lilith likely had to work incredibly hard to not only join the Emperor’s Coven, but basically help lead it for Bellows himself! And as for Eda herself… No doubt, she put in similar amounts of effort before she realized how corrupt the system is. And Eda herself ended up having to go through a lot of pain to defy the Coven System and become her own person, but it’s nevertheless a path she’s chosen for herself that she does not regret.

“You followed your wrath” could accuse Eda of being too rebellious and choosing to fight against the Coven System instead of just quieting down and conforming… But it could also be an accusation towards Lilith, potentially to her implied hidden temper, but also the admittedly-elitist attitude she’s begun to develop from her time in the Emperor’s Coven. Again, not every lyric is a perfect fit.

The world has turned

And so many have burned

But nobody is to blame

Things have changed a lot since their childhoods, all right. No doubt, many people on both ‘sides’ have suffered; Social deviants have been ostracized and imprisoned, while people who do conform end up losing their individuality as they stifle beneath a restrictive system. Obviously the system as a whole is undoubtedly corrupt, and there ARE Witches guilty of being complicit in enforcing it; But as it stands, most people are just trying to get by and are unfairly forced to make a hard choice because of an external institution. Deviants aren’t to blame for being different, and most Witches who conform aren’t to blame for being threatened with rejection and persecution. It’s the system that’s the true evil, not the people caught up within it, and they shouldn’t be pitted against one another.

Yet staring across this barren wasted land

I feel new life will be born

Beneath the blood stained sand

Beneath the blood stained sand

Ignoring ‘bloodstained sand’ (which could be metaphorical if one wanted it to be), I think ‘new life’ could easily apply to the new generation of witches; Especially people like Luz and Amity. That there’s this hope, deep down within Eda and maybe Lilith, that the young witches after them won’t fall for the same pitfalls as their predecessors. That there won’t be conflict, that they’ll be wiser. Luz and Amity are already doing better than Eda and Lilith, because they’re reaching out to one another and becoming close friends. There is just this small hope that maybe, just maybe, the new generation of Witches will be able to stand together, ignore the prejudices of the past, and actively change the system as a whole. Again, part of this works with how the duos of Eda and Lilith, VS Luz and Amity, can be interchangeable within the whole Azura parallel/metaphor.

Disclaimer: For anyone who wants to listen to the song online, I recommend avoiding the comments section. The song and its source material itself are not bigoted, but recently some unpleasant people have been appropriating the song by making transphobic jokes about a character from another game within the comments, by comparing them to a character from MGR.

[xxkellsvixen19xx]

Perfectly Unexpected Colson Baker X Reader

Word Count: 2,250

Warnings: None kinda fluffy lol

There weren’t many things in life you genuinely didn’t like - all in all, you considered yourself a positive person. But you wouldn’t be a human being living in a modern society without ever coming across some aspects of life you could definitely do without.

Like Brussel sprouts, for example. Or ingratitude. Or, when looking at society as a whole, phenomenons like social injustice. Sure, you weren’t a perfect person, and you certainly didn’t want to end up as a hypocrite pointing fingers at others while simultaneously not practicing what you preached.

Yet that certainly didn’t stop you from standing up for your beliefs in front of others - a character trait which kept your circle of friends relatively small, but that was fine with you. Having a handful of truly trustworthy and honest people in your life was better than having a few thousand superfacial acquaintances – at least to you, it was.

Besides the previously mentioned things, there was something else you really, really didn’t like.

Blind Dates.

Now, of course blind dates weren’t generally a bad thing. But, much like listening to a song over and over again until you came to hate it eventually, blind dates had been pretty much ruined for you.

All thanks to your best friend, Jewels. You loved her, you adored her, but sometimes, you just really wanted to strangle her. More times than you could recall, she’d convinced you to go on a blind date with a guy of her choice. Each time, you’d tried to talk her out of it, but she would have none of it – and in the end, she was more persistent and you were too much of a harmony junkie to rebuff her.

The first few times, you’d been genuinely excited for your dates. When it came to dating and relationships, you were pretty “old school” – you loved the concept of meeting someone through shared interests, the idea of fateful encounters – of romance just in general, really. Of course you weren’t naïve enough to believe in something as ridiculous as the concept of “love at first sight” (well, maybe you were, but you certainly wouldn’t tell anyone about it).

Yet you still couldn’t help letting your expectations running rampant in those few seconds before your blind date would eventually walk in and crush all of them within mere minutes.

One time, Jewels had set you up with a guy she’d met on the subway – seriously, who does that? – and while he’d seemed interesting enough at first, he’d proceeded to shamelessly flirt with and swoon over all of the female waitresses and fellow guests during your date, leaving you sitting there to mend your wounded pride while he ended up getting punched in the face by the boyfriend of a lady whom he confessed his “eternal love” to.

Another time, you’d ended up with a man who was quite a few years your senior, but other than that, pretty much the full package – beautiful red hair, a few scars that only added to his charm, a stunning smile, and some humor on top of all that. It could’ve been perfect – had you not found out about his wife and child by coincidence a few days later.

You could vividly remember how furious you’d been and how Jewels had sincerely apologized, assuring you that she’d just met the guy through mutual friends and that she’d had no idea about his little double life.

But none of that was quite as devastating as your latest blind date – and, as you’d promised yourself after that evening, your last. You should’ve known something was wrong with the guy as soon as he managed to use about 10 different curse words within the first five minutes of conversation. But you didn’t want to seem snobbish or superficial, so you’d tried to give him a fair chance.

Well, let’s just say he managed to start a fight with an entire group of men seated at the table next to you, and the evening had ended with you being questioned by the police. Yikes.

After all those experiences, you were pretty sure any sane person would never agree to go on a blind date ever again, let alone one set up by your best friend. But alas, either you were suffering from temporary insanity, or Jewles was just some kind of witch, because yet again, she’d managed to convince you.

At least this time, you wouldn’t be alone – since your blind date tonight was actually her boyfriend’s friend/bandmate, Jewels and Rook would be accompanying the both of you, making it a double date. According to your best friend, Rook’s friend was none other than the infamous Machine Gun Kelly!

You and Jewels were currently getting ready before meeting up with the boys at the restaurant.

“Jewels, I don’t want to go, please don’t make me!” you whined.

“You already said yes, (Y/N)! I can’t just call it off now!” Jewels answered, munching on some marshmallows she’d brought with her. “Besides, you’re gonna love Colson, he’s perfect for you!”

“Yeah, well, according to you, all the other guys were perfect, too,” you deadpanned.

Jewels just rolled her eyes at you. “Yeah, but Colson is Rook’s friend and brother, and let's be honest, my boyfriend is pretty damn hot.”

Is she for real right now?

You couldn’t help but laugh at your friend’s brazenness.

“Ok, first of all, that doesn’t even make sense, since you already told me they’re not blood-related. Second of all, looks aren’t everything, and lastly: EW! He’s YOUR boyfriend, I’ve told you before that automatically turns him into a neutral being I wouldn’t ever think about in a sexual way! Like … a nice fruit basket!”

“Well you do know fruit baskets can potentially include bananas, and-“

You groaned. “Why are we friends again?”

“Because you love me. Now hurry up and get dressed, or we’re gonna be late!” 

A little while later...

You had taken a little longer to get ready than usual, since, unlike all the other times before, Jewels hadn’t given you advice on what to wear to impress your date.

“Just… be yourself, I think that’ll impress him.”

Maybe this date wasn’t going to be as disastrous as all the others. Maybe, just maybe, this guy was actually different. Or maybe you were just a hopeless romantic born in the wrong century.

You were just about to enter the restaurant when Jewles let out a loud squeal, making you turn around to see the guys arrive.

Looks Aren't Everything,don't be super facial,stay calm-

HOLY shit.

Blonde, shaggy hair, the most gorgeous pair of blue eyes you’d probably ever seen, and a scar… he was undeniably handsome.

You swallowed. Suddenly, you were feeling just a little more nervous than minutes before.

Ok, a lot more nervous.

He politely greeted Jewles before turning over to you. But instead of shamelessly checking you out, like some of your previous date had done, he simply smiled at you, keeping eye contact the entire time.

“Yo, I’m Colson, nice to meet you.” He held out his hand. Ok, this guy was way more polite than you would’ve expected.

And a lot cuter.

Shut up, brain!

“Nice to meet you, too. I’m (Y/N), but I’m sure you already knew that.”

He laughed quietly. It was a soft, warm sound, and you knew immediately you wanted to hear it again. “I do, actually. I hope you’re not uncomfortable with those two” – he pointed over at Rook and Jewles, who were still busy eating each others faces – “setting us up.” Even though it was already quite dark outside, you could make out just the faintest hint of a blush on his cheeks.

Adorable.

“N-No, it’s alright, I’m actually quite glad that it’s with someone like you.” A second later, you realized how that had sounded, blushing profusely. “Oh my god, that sounded so superficial, I apologize. I’m just- uhm… a little nervous.” You smiled in what you hoped was a genuine way (and prayed it didn’t make you look as idiotic as you felt).

“Don’t worry, I know what you meant. I’m a little nervous, too, actually.” He reached up to scratch his neck.

You were interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat behind you. Turning around, you were met with a shit-eating grin from Jewles.

“So, should we go inside or do you two lovebirds need another minute?”

A while later…

“What?! So you’re saying that even though you love music, you’ve never been to one a live show?” Colson asked you excitedly.

“No, I haven’t. I’m just not a big fan of large crowds, you know? Makes me kind of anxious.”

He shook his head in mock disapproval, making you giggle. “No, this will not stand. Next time I’m going, I’m taking you with me. I’ll make sure nothing happens to you, so don’t worry.”

You blushed. After the initial awkwardness, you and Colson had basically been talking non-stop for the last hour or so. Jewles had been right – for the first time ever on a blind date, you were able to just be yourself, and feel comfortable doing so. Colson not only shared many interests and ideals, he was also incredibly charming and polite. Even though you wouldn’t admit it out loud – at least not to Jewles, who kept wiggling her eyebrows each time you looked her way – this was completely different from your previous dates.

The scar covering his eye had been caused by an accident, which had taken place while shooting off guns during down time, and he’d also told you a lot about his love for his other band mates. Apparently, they are very close.

“So, what do you want to do after you’re done with this tour?” you asked, taking another sip from your drink.

He cocked his head slightly, taking a moment to think. “Uhm, I’m actually not sure. I’ve done a couple of projects, so there’s quite a few directions I could potentially go in, but I actually like the idea of just living in the moment. Career is important and all, but so many people just forget to have fun along the way, don’t you think?”

“Yes, I couldn’t agree more! And even if you make tons of plans, who says they’ll actually work out in the end? Life’s full of surprises, anyway.”

“It is, indeed.” The way he looked at you just then made you think he was referring to you, or this… whatever this was or could be, and it made you smile like an idiot and blush as red as a tomato at the same time.

Left completely dumbfounded, you were desperately trying to come up with some sort of witty answer, but had no idea what to say. He just smiled, still looking at you, before asking: “Hey, uhm.. you want to go get some fresh air for a second?”

Feeling clueless as to why he’d ask but somehow also excited, you got up immediately.

“And just where do you think you’re going?” Jewles asked, looking as self-satisfied as ever.

“We’re just going to get some fresh air, we’ll be back in a second,” you replied, unable to keep blushing yet again when your best friend simply cocked an eyebrow as an answer.

Once the two of you were outside, you took a deep breath before looking at him, really looking at him. Your heart started beating faster and you were feeling like a teenager who was crushing on someone for the first time, despite only having just met this man.

You were royally screwed.

He looked right back at you, and smiled before scratching his neck once more.

“I’d actually really like to kiss you right now,” he said, taking all your breath away with just one sentence. “But I’m not going to, because this evening – no, you, have been so perfect and I don’t wanna ruin it by moving too fast.” You both spent a moment in comfortable silence before he added: “Uh, that is, if you’re even feeling the same way.”

You couldn’t help but giggle. “Colson, do you really need to ask?”

He chuckled. “I guess not.” He took a look at his watch before grinning cheekily. “So, why don’t we get out of here?”

“O-out of here? Why- I mean where would we go?”

“Doesn’t matter. We could go look for a place that still sells ice cream at his hour, or just drive around in circles all night while talking about whatever we want. What do you say?”

Well, that was unexpected. And a little reckless. But you couldn’t say you didn’t like it.

“But, uhm… what about the other two?” you asked, slightly unsure if it would be alright to simply ditch your friend.

“I think they’re going to be just fine on their own, don’t you think?”

You took a look through the glass windows to see Jewles and Rook sharing what was probably the biggest pizza you’d seen in your entire life.

Colson was right – they’d be just fine.

He held out his hand for you, and you took it, immediately intertwining your fingers with his.

As the two of you started running down the street to his car, giggling and laughing like little kids, you couldn’t help but think that maybe, you hadn’t been born in the wrong century, after all.