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xiv-wolfram · 2 years ago

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Debriefing - Comic Script

A Realm Reborn - Level 50

Wolfram speaks with Raubahn after the Praetorium.

Catch up on my WoL Comics (Chronological List)

This is the script for a future comic. Posting for those who don’t want to wait to get the story. Numbers indicate frame number.

Shot from the cutscene of everyone standing talking. Narrator - “Wolfram, the Warrior of Light, has just defeated Gaius van Baelsar and the Ultima weapon. Having emerged victorious from the Praetorium, General Raubahn (his former partner and current commanding officer in the Immortal Flames) wishes to have a few words with him. They had a misunderstanding when Wolf joined the Flames leaving them in a sort of limbo, each feeling friendly but believing the other wants to keep things strictly professional."

They’re standing off on their own. Rau beams - "I'm so glad you're alright!" Thought - 'I thought I'd lost him for a moment there.'

Wolf straight face - “Aye, I didn’t lose control or run. You had nothing to worry about. Perhaps next time you’ll have a bit more faith in me?” Dark Thought - 'You just got lucky and you know it.'

Rau scoffs - “Hells Wolf. It’s not about faith, I was simply worried for your safety.” Thought - 'He's in an odd mood for one who should be celebrating.'

Wolf glares, annoyed - “I know I have a bit more to be concerned about than the average soldier - but if you fuss over the rest of them at all like that I pray you stop. Leadership needs to show confidence in their subordinates.” Thought - 'Why am I speaking to him like this? It's not him that I'm upset with…'

Rau, shocked. Thought - ‘He believes I worry about everyone like that?!’ says - “Wolf that’s not what I meant. I'm trying to say I'm glad you survived the ordeal. I care if you live or die, you know…personally. Seven hells, why are you acting so formal with me? Subordinate? I'm aware things were a bit tense the night before our assault on the Castrum but -"

Wolf apologetic - “ - I’m sorry Raubahn, I shouldn’t give you a hard time. Just know that I have things handled when it comes to combat in the future. I'll admit…I may still be a bit on edge after speaking with Baelsar.” Dark Thought - ‘Keep trying to convince yourself of that. I’ll enjoy it when you finally lose control.’

Rau concerned - “Oh? Not a problem with the fight itself? What did he say that bothered you?” Thought - 'That bastard…'

Wolf clenched jaw - “The man is just insufferable. First thing he does is offer Cid a job after rambling about his father. Then the bastard had the nerve to ask me to join his cause. *ME*! I suppose he doesn't do much research on his enemies."

Rau scoffs - "What a fool. He should know what an Ala Mhigan looks like by now. How did you respond?"

Wolf grins - "I told him he was a dumb cunt to think he had the right to even *speak* to an Ala Mhigan after what he'd done to our country."

Rau laughs - "There's the Wolfram I remember! Would that I'd been there to tell him the same." Thought - ‘I hated having to stay here knowing he was risking his life.’

Wolf smiles. Thought - ‘It would have been nice to fight together again.’ Says - "I wish you had been as well. It was a strange experience. You know I'd sort of built up the man in my head as this imposing nemesis. The source of all my suffering but… he was just a man. A pathetic man at that. The pawn of an Ascian."

Wolf explains enthusiastically but annoyed - "He was spouting a bunch of nonsense about strength. Saying that Eorzea belonged to those strong enough to take it. Only the strong could protect it. As if that were some unique idea when it's the same drivel I've been hearing for years anytime I fought someone seeking to justify their actions born from ambition."

Rau raises an eyebrow knowingly. "So you no longer value strength and power?" Thought - 'He really has grown from his mistakes…how rare.'

Wolf grins - "Aye, the irony is clear to me as well. He was under the impression that I was fit to rule Eorzea - simply for defeating him in battle. I couldn't help but laugh openly. It was hard to keep my composure in the face of such narcissistic ignorance.”

Rau laughs - "Oh gods… you ruling over anything sounds like your idea of hell. I still remember that drunken rant about how Ul'dah should be in the hands of the people. Fortunately your audience was just as deep in their cups as you were."

Wolf explains smugly - "Oh, I still believe that. Not just Ul'dah but everywhere. Those religious nuts in Ishgard. Those beholden to the whims of the Elementals in Gridania. Especially anywhere the damned Garleans occupy."

Wolf thinks, with an amused smile - "Perhaps not Limsa… I take comfort knowing the Admiral keeps those pirates in line." Thought - ‘Hopefully I’m not being too offensive. Nanamo is great as far as monarchs go.’.

Rau chuckles - "You surely do have an interesting view of things. Did Van Baelsar say aught else?" Thought - 'I really missed him… perhaps more than I wanted to acknowledge. Wonderfully strange man.'

Wolf crosses his arms, furrows his brow - “Just repeated the bit from his ultimatum about the Eorzean’s hypocrisy. As if I were somehow blind to it. A refugee from a country they turned their backs on. Thanks to the Echo, able to communicate with the beast tribes enough to know there are two sides to the Primals story. I know not why I was given it but at least I’m using what power I've been granted to try to change things while causing the least harm to others. The Garlean way is the easy way, true systemic change is hard.”

Rau looks off to the side, embarrassed - “Alas, I am in part responsible for that hypocrisy… somewhere along the line I stopped fighting for our people. I was always brushed aside when I brought it up. I’m just… so tired.”

Wolf puts his right hand on Rau’s shoulder comfortingly and smiles - “That you acknowledge your flaws and feel shame for them already makes you a better leader than all the rest combined. You will put things right in time.” Thought - ‘I probably shouldn’t hug him right? Aye, very unprofessional…’

Rau beams, putting his right hand over Wolf’s - “Thank you. I promise I will. I have not forgotten our people, though it may seem that way at times.”

Wolf glances at Rau's hand holding his. Smiles awkwardly. Thought - 'This is confusing. Are we coworkers or are we friends? I can't navigate this …I'll just keep talking.' Says - "So um… then I destroyed the Ultima weapon and that's where shit got weird. Lahabrea attacked."

Rau looks worried and moves his hand away, 'Oh gods, I've made him uncomfortable.' Says - "The Ascian possessing Thancred?"

Wolf nods - "Aye, and then I found myself in a large dark place. Lit only by the bright light of the Mother Crystal. Lahabrea was there - both as Thancred and what I assume was his true form."

Wolf puts his hand to his head in confusion, looking embarrassed - "She bade me make a blade of light and summon my allies. You were there… I'm not sure how I did it but we rushed Lahabrea and destroyed the dark crystal enabling Thancred's possession."

Rau surprised - "I am glad you were able to free your friend from the fiends thrall, but Wolf…the Mother Crystal *spoke* to you? That is quite significant!"

Wolf turning red and smiling awkwardly - "Aye… she has for a while now. Sometimes I think I'm losing my mind but Minfilia called me a Warrior of Light and said others were referring to me by the same title. I'm meant to be "guided by the Crystal's will"… me of all people."

Wolf staring at the ground, worried face - "Out of all Eorzea, why me?" Dark Thought - "There has to have been a mistake. Why would she choose a waste of aether like you?"

Rau smiles and gestures encouragingly - "Why not you?! One who has overcome so much. You've learned from your mistakes, show compassion to your enemies, and have dedicated your life to helping others. On top of all that you're a hell of a fighter. Who better to be her warrior?"

Wolf looks at him, smiling sadly and shrugging - "You know why. I'm simply damaged goods." Rau looks at him worried as someone off frame shouts - "General Aldynn, they’re calling on you to give a speech."

Catch up on my WoL Comics (Chronological List)

#ffxiv #ffxiv wol #oc wolfram #ffxiv oc #hyur highlander #wolbahn #raubahn #raubahn aldynn #hyur #WoLComic #WolframSaga

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ladyhindsight · 2 years ago

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Ahoy.

So far Clary has begun her training. Jace is struggling with something but won’t tell exactly why, because it is the sort of inner turmoil only Jace may have. After leaving his home, Simon has been approached by the menacing Camille who is up to no good. Simon has also yet to determine his dishonest relationships with Isabelle and Maia. Isabelle has done pretty much nothing aside from fending off Camille’s human lunches and called Simon her boyfriend. Alec and Magnus are having their adventures featured in The Red Scrolls of Magic that will never fit into this story. Fun. So, let’s continue.

Simon is sitting in front of a public library, lamenting his current life and waiting for Raphael.

I don’t know why this assumption is here, probably in order to justify Simon moping around public spaces, but it is literally invalidated in this same chapter.

So Raphael arrives and they have a chat about Simon telling his mother that he is a vampire and is now in need of a place to stay.

Which, again, is incorrect. Simon refused to join with Raphael, and Raphael only wanted to kill Simon once he became a Daylighter (because he is dangerous to their kind though he has, as to this day, refused to elaborate how), which is the reason Clary gave Simon the Mark of Cain. Keep up with your own story, would you.

He didn’t. He came asking for a place to stay. So, Simon tells Raphael nothing about Camille, because he wasn’t going to in the first place, and Raphael leaves.

As Raphael, the angel he was named for, has a known tendency to?

We cut to Clary having a picnic with Jace before training to become an awesome angelic warrior hero. Jace is sleeping and Clary is being not like other girls.

This would be easily remedied by deleting that sentence → "She guessed it was her version of writing about her boyfriend in a diary”

The other now is needless and redundant. We know it’s now because it has already been said.

The Golden Jace count will be looking good with this redundancy alone. The light is gold, but Jace is even more gold. Nothing new under the sun.

This part here wouldn’t raise my ire at all, if it weren’t for the very basis their whole relationship was built on. If Jace and Clary’s love wasn’t created by such an insecure and jealous narrative on the expense of Jace’s other important relationships, especially the one with Alec; on the need of Clary being the only exception to everything in Jace’s life and the sole thing he cares about in life, I don’t think I would have such a visceral hatred for passages like this. But alas, there it is and I hate both of them.

So Clary and Jace profess their unbound, undying, unyielding, passionate love for one another (yet it is still brought to question in the story because reasons), and Clary says this:

Of course there is a perfect quote to everything. Clare lives vigorously through any and every quote she can muster in her writing and pretend to have anything to do with how her characters just love each other so deeply and meaningfully.

I’m also not a fan of the wording here. Why does Clary need to believe? Why does Jace need to make her believe? Shouldn’t she, by now, by their actions alone, know?

→ “she knew he was remembering the same thing she was: the pale light filtering in through...”

I hate every word in this. I hate this and hate them. It’s bordering on rather senseless loathing that I have no words for but there it is.

Another thing Clary should know by now is whether the training grounds they’ve used apparently several times is glamoured or not. How can she not know that? How can she not have asked even once?

Clary then thinks about how her rune-creating powers have gone seemingly dormant, like she previously didn’t whip up a rune just because the occasion called for it.

The writing is filled to the brim with these limp sentences and limp narration repeating same stuff in succession.

→ “Not that she really minded; she wasn’t sure she’d be entirely sorry if her power had vanished forever.”

Pet peeve: you have just described what color the leaves are. Don’t do it again right after, because it doesn’t make a goddamn difference if at a different spot the leaves are not RED and COPPER but GREEN and GOLD.

No?

Clary and Jace have arrived to their Probably Glamoured training grounds and this mess happens.

Jace faces Clary. He speaks to Clary. Jace takes his jacket off without turning elsewhere and turns back to Clary without ever turning away from her. He then makes a speech about training and fighting and:

Asks Clary to turn and face him. Isn’t it presumable that Clary was already facing him when she narrates Jace’s actions and we are never told she is facing elsewhere?

Jace gets hot and heavy having Clary close to him maneuvering fighting techniques:

Just say that his voice was a little unsteady. It’s not a secret you need to allude to like Clary doesn’t know the effect her proximity has on him.

Then the Seelie Queen arrives.

Delete this. It ruins everything.

Nothing is a greater threat to a relationship but an older woman speaking in riddles. The narrative tries to have characters undermining Jace and Clary’s love left and right while maintaining that no love has been greater than theirs. It doesn’t really create room for the doubt that you are trying to sow.

And of course the Queen knows to ask the one question that obviously will get under Clary’s skin. Because the greatest worry we will have in this book is whether Jace really loves her, like the three books before this didn’t bent hell and back to tell the readers that is, indeed, the case and on the expense of other characters as well.

We cut back to Simon hiding out in Eric’s garage. Right off the bat, Clary’s words refute Simon’s earlier reasoning for not contacting her in the first place. Which makes it all just pointless in the narrative sense.

→ She was somewhere in the city; the loud blare of traffic sounded behind her”

But that, the most sensible of solutions, can’t happen because of plot reasons.

I’d say this is a wonderfully woven example of Simon’s vampire senses, but I am incredibly reluctant to do so because I don’t trust it to be because of Simon’s vampire senses because there is no unwarranted reminder that Simon is, in fact, a vampire and can, in fact, hear that shit. No matter the book, Clare always is sure to remind you of vampire facts, so I am not entirely trusting that she wrote this Simon being a vampire with super hearing in mind.

I hate all of this, but just deleting the part “It was funny, he thought. Now he could say “I love you” to Clary, when” would make it bearable:

→ “Simon clicked off the phone and lay back, holding it against his chest. For years he’d struggled to say those words and had not been able to get them out...”

I’d like to return to my point above about the spiders spinning webs and my distrust of the writing.

Simon then thinks of his mother and how she thinks he is on a school trip, and he has only a few days to find a solution to his mom problem.

There isn’t a reason for Simon to believe that his mother would remember. When earlier in this chapter Simon tells Raphael what he did to his mother, Raphael explains the encanto:

“And then I’m not sure what happened. I started talking to her in this really weird, soothing voice, telling her nothing had happened and it was all a dream.” “And she believed you.” “She believed me,” Simon said reluctantly. “Of course she did,” said Raphael. “Because you are a vampire. It is a power we have. The encanto. The fascination. The power of persuasion, you would call it. You can convince mundane humans of almost anything, if you learn how to use the ability properly.” “But I didn’t want to use it on her. She’s my mother. Is there some way to take it off her—some way to fix it?” “Fix it so she hates you again? So she thinks you are a monster? That is a very odd definition of fixing something.” “I don’t care,” Simon said. “Is there a way?” “No,” Raphael said cheerfully. “There is not. You would know all this, of course, if you did not disdain your own kind so much.”

So, why would Simon think there is a chance his mother started to remember?

→ Simon sprang up, his whole body tense.

Jordan arrives, shows off his tattoos to Simon, and offers him a place to stay like he has no Ulterior Motives. Also:

→ their new lead singer.

Simon then takes him up on his offer and off they go.

Thanks for telling me like you didn’t just show.

#I hate everything #Passionately #At the moment #Clary Fray #Jace Herondale #Simon Lewis #Raphael Santiago #Jordan Kyle #City of Fallen Angels #CoFA Chapter 4

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callaria · 4 years ago

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universe. [aether]

sometimes, will you look at the sky at the thought of me?

[based on “universe” by minhyun of nu'est. however, i recommend the slowed + reverb version to accompany this piece.]

gender neutral reader

genre: angst

warnings: implied death

If he could have it any other way, he would.

Alas, he knew better than that.

Aether knew that dreaming of such a scenario was unrealistic.

Aether knew that as you both traversed all of Teyvat hand-in-hand, with nothing but the wind as a guide and each other to depend on, he could never ask you to fight his own battle with fate—with his sister, Lumine, and her army of the Abyss.

Aether knew that, albeit painful, this was a necessary step to take if he were to keep you happy and, most importantly, alive.

“Traveler, it’s time…!” Paimon whispers so as not to wake you. He turns to the direction of his companion’s voice, seeing her peeking from the slightly open entrance of the tent. “The rest are ready and waiting outside!”

In her mind, she apologizes for what they’re about to do. Despite Paimon’s reservations, she understood that this was a decision Aether thought of very well, trusting that he considered every consequence because of it.

Besides, you’re someone Paimon wants to protect too, she thought.

“Thank you, I’ll just take a moment.”

“Alright, well… I’ll be outside, okay?”

As Paimon slips out, he once again gazes upon your peacefully sleeping figure. Aether smiles fondly as he brushes a stray hair away from your face. He finds himself asking whichever gods are listening for even the most slim chance to feel this sense of contentment again if he were to never come back from the battlefield today.

He is reminded of when you, most often drunkenly, narrate your never-ending stories to him, Paimon coming out to hear them sometimes as well.

It’s as if it were just yesterday when fits of giggles poured out of both your mouths—lips traced with dandelion wine—as you both stumble onto your usual corner at Angel’s Share. After a long day of commissions, this was somewhat of a tradition between you and Aether.

From how Klee resorted to gliding across rooftops just to get away from a distressed Jean, to how a bard dressed in green somehow convinced you to sneak some wine behind your brother’s back in exchange for a guide to locating hidden chests at Dadaupa Gorge, or how adorably the Spindrift Knight’s face flushed when you insisted on personally making her a drink to compensate for unruly customers who disturbed her quiet night.

He feels the smile on his face get bigger when he thinks back to how just about everyone told him that you looked as if you glowed whenever you’re informed about his arrival in Mondstadt.

“Visit more often, will you?” Aether recalls Diluc asking him one night right when he was about to leave Dawn Winery. As your partner, of course, it was only his job to ensure that you get home safely.“They’re… much happier when you’re around.” But before he could manage a coherent reply, your brother turns around and closes the front doors promptly yet quietly.

His grin softens when he remembers how you looked when you once danced with him amidst the anemo crystalflies at Windrise. The scene was set so perfectly; with the fluttering leaves carrying a faint melody—curtesy of a certain archon who felt it was only appropriate to do so, the faint glow of your silhouette from the moon’s rays gently caressing your features as you both found an oasis within admiring each other’s eyes. It was almost as if their depths held galaxies never before explored.

Yes, Aether’s seen gods before. But with how angelic you looked, he felt certain that it was only at this very moment wherein he was in the presence of something truly divine.

“Everything I’m about to do,” he whispers as he kisses your temple for the last time. “it will be all for you.”

He didn’t want to take away the rest of your life from you because he wanted you to fight alongside him on what may as well be his final battle. No, he would rather you forget about his very existence or hate him for choosing to leave without explanation than take that chance.

So please, live for me, he asks and hopes that fate thinks the same.

Out of love or selfishness, Aether didn’t know.

What he did know, however, was that he would shoulder whatever consequences there were if it meant your life be spared.

Please be happy, my universe.

allure’s notes:

sharing is caring, that includes painful headcanons. send tweet.

thank you for reading! ☀️

#genshin impact x reader #genshin imagines #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact angst #genshin x reader #genshin angst #genshin impact aether #genshin impact aether x reader #aether x reader #genshin impact scenarios #genshin scenarios #genshin oneshot #genshin drabbles #genshin aether #aether angst #callaria angst #☀️ | aether

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immortalonus · 3 years ago

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Where You Belong: Update and excerpts

So things have not been going super on the fanific/fanart side of things for the last several months. In the case of Where You Belong, the primary culprit is good old fashioned writers block, mixed with a hearty combo of frustration.

The core issue, is that this is the chapter that Valerie decides to actually talk to a ghost without shooting them, robbing them, or making them cry. I really want this decision to feel natural, and with a personality like Valerie's, putting her in a place where restraint or worse, compromise, would be her first choice has been giving me trouble. I have all the pieces of how I want this thing to go, but putting them all together in a way I like has resulted in throwing two, maybe three chapters in the bin. Just today, I downloaded a new writing program purely because I had just gotten sick of looking at the Apache Openoffice interface and failing to write.

(The new writing program is Quoll, for those interested.)

So, as an apology for no new content since last year, and because I haven't done this in a while, please enjoy some excerpts from former versions of chapter five, tentatively titled Rejoinder.

Excerpt one:

She wasn’t sure, exactly, what she had been expecting, would not admit to herself she had been avoiding considering it at all, but Valerie was certain she had never imagined anything like this.

This, Which stretched on mile after mile, this, with its undistinguished nature and tiny clusters of huts in what few gentle dips of the land deigned to cradle them, this pastoral, utterly undistinguished vista devoid of towers and castles and vaults or any other thing that might conceivably hold a treasure or artifact of any kind.

Valerie slowed her board, trying to figure out where she needed to go.

All the other islands she had seen before, even the ones of significant size, had some key feature - a looming skull faced mountain, a grand cathedral of staring eyes- some obvious centerpoint to the landmass easily spotted with a little altitude or distance gained. Now, however, it didn’t feel like she was on an island, it felt like she was on a world.

From my second draft, I like the intensity the repetition of "this" conveys, but struggled with most everything that came before and after. It also blocked me from describing any more of the landscape in a way that didn't feel redundant or otherwise detract from its strength.

I also dislike the second clause of that final sentence. I think I may have switched registers a bit? "it felt like she was on a world" reads as relatively informal compared to everything that came before.

Excerpt 2:

Unnaturally straight lines, felled towers yet unburied beneath the snow, lay collapsed around massive roadways, larger than any machine she could imagine fit to ride it, cut through the vast cityscape, crushed mountains beneath its heel, cowed the bucking landscape beneath the leveler's rod and yoked to the chains of a people with nowhere left to go.

From the same draft as excerpt 1, and probably the strongest of the descriptive paragraphs detailing some of the features someone flying over the Farfrozen might spot from above. It's also one hell of a burn to stick on a race you haven't even met yet, but it seemed in character and kind of gave me a chuckle to write.

The big problem with the section this paragraph came from is mostly that all of it was useless: Valerie isn't really interacting with this stuff, she'll never see it again, and there's no reason to think about it or describe it at that point in time, anyway. While third person narration does give me more leeway in how closely I stick to a character's own thoughts, feelings, and perspective, this section had a chronic case of pointless decor syndrome, just kind of stuck in the middle of the narration more because I wanted it to be there than because it , you know, actually did something for the story at hand.

Very much a "kill your darlings" situation here, alas.

Excerpt 3:

/Mother said you wouldn’t come this year again but I knew she was wrong especially since there was a major storm just outside the border and everyone has been waiting I even snuck out especially to look because I knew-/

Valerie’s translator almost couldn’t keep up, and her brain was now officially on a skid, unable to keep pace with the eagerness of a child unimpeded by the need to breathe.

/Just knew that we would have someone, even if it was just a foreigner. Right?/

Valerie stared at the ghost.

The ghost stared back.

/(Hoping) Please?/

/...No./

Section of dialogue from one of my earliest drafts, which I'm still quite fond of. I don't picture Valerie as particularly good with kids (and secretly jealous that Phantom totally is), so I figured a ghost child would be the perfect thing to throw her for a loop. On one hand, its a ghost, so she should shoot it, but on the other hand, it's a kid, and shooting kids is wrong...right? lol

We also see some more instances of ghost speak in this chapter, which is always fun.

#Danny Phantom #Valerie Grey #Writing #Where You Belong #Excerpts #Mine #I swear I'm still working on this #My latest plot involves smashing Valerie against a rock #Maybe a big rock #It's very cathartic

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commentaryvorg · 3 years ago

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Digimon Data Squad Dub Comparison Episode 38 - The Power of the Burst Mode!

This is a companion to my commentary on the original Japanese Digimon Savers! Reading my commentary on the original version of this episode (which you can find here) is recommended before reading this dub comparison.

Original name ~ Dubbed name

Masaru Daimon ~ Marcus Damon

Yoshino Fujieda ~ Yoshino “Yoshi” Fujieda

Tohma H. Norstein ~ Thomas H. Norstein

Ikuto Noguchi ~ Keenan Crier

Professor Suguru Daimon ~ Doctor Spencer Damon

Chika Daimon ~ Kristy Damon

BanchouLeomon ~ BanchoLeomon

Yukidarumon ~ Frigimon

Mercurimon ~ Merukimon

[Since several characters share the same name between the original and the dub, quotes from the dub will always be in italics, while quotes from the original will not, in order to distinguish them.]

Recap Marcus: “With Agumon in tow, I raced to help the others fight Kurata… and Thomas!”

Marcus recap, woo! There’s actually a little bit more recap narration here than there was in the original, because Marcus treating Thomas like an enemy here is something the original narrator didn’t talk about. He goes on to clarify that Thomas was only pretending, over a part that had no narration in the original. I don’t entirely blame them for adding a bit more narration flavour here, because this recap has some looooong shots of just re-used footage and nothing else.

The dub is so insistent on using the evolution music literally every single time there’s an evolution animation that they even did it for Ravemon’s evolution in the recap, wow. It still plays over the rest of the recap past that animation, at least.

Narrator: “When Masaru’s strong feelings reached Agumon, his Digiegg finally hatched.”

~~~~~

Recap Marcus: “Finally, Agumon was able to hatch!”

Marcus does not mention that Agumon hatched because of his feelings reaching him, which makes me a little sad. It’d be extra adorable to hear that being said by Marcus himself!

Recap Marcus: “He looked a lot different, so I was afraid he wouldn’t remember me…”

That’s not really the main reason you were afraid of that, though? It’s mostly because BanchoLeomon literally told you he wouldn’t, and him looking different just seemed like it had confirmed that for a moment.

Recap Marcus: “Once again, Agumon and I were the ultimate fightin’ team!”

Aww. Yes, you were, you dorks.

Agumon: “Aniki, I’m going on ahead!” [he steps on Masaru’s head in midair]

Masaru: “You jerk!”

~~~~~

Agumon: “Heads up, Boss!” [he steps on Marcus’s head in midair]

Marcus: “Hey! Why does it have to be *my* head!”

Cuter and more fitting banter for this moment than in the original, I approve.

Megumi: “Just like always…”

Miki: “We’ve got you covered!”

~~~~~

Megumi: “You hear that, BishopChessmon?”

Miki: “Ready to fight again, RookChessmon?”

These lines came over a shot of Bishop and RookChessmon getting back into fighting stances, so it’s cute that in the dub they changed them to have Megumi and Miki actually calling out to their partners and encouraging them to keep fighting.

Aww, what do you mean the piece of music that plays in the same moment that Provocation Infinity played in the original isn’t Probably Marcus’s Theme? That’s almost always used as an equivalent for it and I was expecting to hear it here, alas.

Masaru: “How you feelin’, Agumon?”

Agumon: “The best!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “You doin’ okay, Agumon?”

Agumon: “Yeah, Boss!”

Totally minor thing, but I preferred how Masaru’s open question allowed Agumon to answer with the most incredibly enthusiastic “THE BEST!”, which he can’t do to Marcus’s question in the dub.

Huh, I’ve just noticed that there’s a kind of reverb sound effect on Belphemon’s growls. Neat, I guess, since it helps get across how ridiculously powerful he is.

Masaru: “Let’s go, guys!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “Alright, guys, it’s fightin’ time again!”

Damn right it is! If ever there was an episode for Marcus’s catchphrase to feel extra appropriate for setting the right mood, it’s this one.

Yushima: “Don’t worry. He’s not alone.”

Relena: “Mister Yushima?”

~~~~~

Yushima: “He’ll be okay, dear. Your big brother isn’t alone.”

Relena: “He’s not, Mister Yushima?”

…Huh, you know, I never actually thought about it in the original, but Relena wouldn’t have known that, would she? She’s never met any of Tohma’s friends from DATS. I approve of the dub using the extra lip-flap to draw attention to that, even though it’s a thing that’s true in both versions.

Chika: (Masaru-niichan…)

~~~~~

Kristy: (I hope someone’s looking after Marcus… keeping him safe…)

I was going to comment that it was a little weird that Kristy thinks of Marcus as needing to have someone looking after him – but then half her line gets overlaid with a shot of BanchoLeomon, so, hey, that’s a thing. (Not that BanchoLeomon is actually doing anything to protect Marcus or anyone else in the team right now, but.)

Kurata: “In the past, it was Daimon Suguru, and now it’s his son, Daimon Masaru…”

~~~~~

Kurata: “The first thorn in my side was the father, Spencer Damon! And now it’s his meddling son, Marcus! Why?! I hate you, Marcus Damon! I’ve never hated anything or anyone more than I hate you!”

Not sure it’s correct that Kurata is piling it all on Marcus as the single person he hates the most. Really, Kurata hates Suguru the most out of anything, and he’s only hating Masaru so much too by association; he certainly shouldn’t be hating him more than his father.

Kurata: “Why… why do you stand in my way and thwart my goals, my dreams?!”

~~~~~

Kurata: “Why is it always you?! Why must you stand in the way of my plans time after time, again and again?!”

Kurata making this a lot more about Marcus in the dub doesn’t quite work as well for this bit, because Marcus… hasn’t stood in the way of Kurata’s plans that much? Really the only thing he managed to do that hindered Kurata a fair bit was take down his one Gizumon in episode 25 (and it wasn’t even really Marcus who did that), but since then he kinda… didn’t actually manage to stop Kurata’s plans, at all?

Obviously, Suguru didn’t exactly oppose Kurata any time except for once either, but because original-Kurata isn’t making it about Masaru, and isn’t talking like this always happens, it’s easy to tell that he’s not thinking about this rationally and literally. It’s all just turned into a twisted ball of everything is Suguru’s fault for daring to say I’m in the wrong, and no amount of logic is going to make him think otherwise. The dub doesn’t quite seem to get that. Perhaps they changed his focus to Marcus because they thought it was weird that he was getting so angry at a guy who only ever got in his way literally once, compared to Masaru who’s fought him a bunch of times – but no, that was very much the point.

Kurata: “I would have easily been able to rise to the top of the world!!!”

~~~~~

Kurata: “…then I would have already been the ruler of both the human world and the Digital World by now!”

Kurata’s voice is angry in the dub, but it’s like, a normal person level of anger? Meanwhile in the original, Kurata’s lost it so much that he’s practically screaming incoherently with rage as he spouts all this. Those three exclamation marks the subs put there are not exaggerating.

I also feel like, in the incoherent rage he’s supposed to be in by now, Kurata wouldn’t talk about things in terms of “being the ruler of both worlds” here like he does in the dub. That was technically his goal, but it was never really the point – it was just about being the powerfullest bestest out of anyone ever. That’s coming through in Kurata in the original, but the dub, again, doesn’t quite seem to get it.

(It’s a shame to see the dub dropping the ball on Kurata’s psychology in these last couple of episodes, when they did so well earlier on! Alas, it could not last.)

Masaru: “Shut the hell up.”

~~~~~

Marcus: “Agh, quiet down, you’re givin’ me a headache!”

A different way to shut him down, but still one with the right level of utter dismissiveness to it.

…For some reason there’s a commercial break right after this, before Marcus gives the rest of this speech. Bit of an awkward place to put one.

Masaru: “You did all this for a puny reason like that?”

Kurata: “Puny?”

Masaru: “I don’t care what happened in the past. Those small-time ambitions of yours… This Daimon Masaru-sama will squash them flat!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “You did all this so you could become a world ruler? What a lame reason!”

Kurata: “Lame reason?!”

Marcus: “Who do you think’s pathetic enough to follow *your* lead? No-one from the Digital World, that’s for sure! And certainly no humans, either! Not as long as I’m here!”

The dub, again, seems to be getting a bit too hung up on thinking that Kurata ruling both worlds is the actual point of his ambitions, like he wants to lead people, Digimon and human. Heck no. He’s never cared about being a leader. Marcus shooting down the idea that anyone would want to follow him is decently badass-sounding, I guess, but it just doesn’t hit as hard when Marcus is missing the point. Masaru wasn’t even thinking about who’d want to follow Kurata; he got more to the actual crux that Kurata’s desire to exert power over everyone was pathetic, because what kind of sick selfish asshole even wants to do that?

Also I’m a little sad that they removed Masaru being dismissive about Kurata’s ridiculous massive grudge against his dad and not even really caring about what happened between them. (Now there’s something that’d be even more relevant to Marcus’s dad complex, right?)

Kurata: “Marcus Damon! I will destroy yooouuu!”

Okay, I’ll allow him the “destroy” here, because he’s so utterly furious that it tracks that simply killing him wouldn’t seem like it’s enough. In certain contexts, “destroy” can work to sound like it means more than just “kill”, and this is one of them.

Yushima: “Belphemon’s attack swept that far…!”

~~~~~

Yushima: “Something different is going on with Belphemon’s attack…”

In the original, Yushima was remarking on the fact that the range of Belphemon’s attack had become so much huger, big enough to sweep over and past their heads on the outskirts of the city, which none of his previous attacks had come even close to. In the dub, he’s instead commenting on the new Digital Gate properties of the attack. Both are very valid things for him to be concerned about, I suppose.

(It is a little odd that in the dub he calls this something “different”, because it’s not like he’s seen any of Belphemon’s other attacks from this distance; for all he knows they were all doing that.)

Relena: “Mister, is my brother all right? Is my brother all right?!”

Yushima: (Everyone… Don’t die.)

~~~~~

Relena: “Mister Yushima, is Tommy okay?!”

Yushima: “Yes… he’s okay.” (Please… be okay…)

I appreciate Yushima actually making an attempt to reassure Relena in the dub (and how it’s immediately contrasted with him internally being a lot more worried than he’s letting on to her).

Miki: “It’s the effect of the space-time oscillation bombs, right?”

~~~~~

Miki: “Yeah, Thomas?! What?!”

Megumi: “Calm down!”

This moment of Miki having also figured out what’s going on with the space-time rifts is… completely changed in the dub into her being hysterical, for some reason. The shots are also different; in the original, this is a still shot of Miki and Megumi from lower down, not showing their faces, probably to imply that Miki’s really freaking out about this.

I would say that the fact that this shot incidentally has their crotches in the middle of the screen might be the reason they cut it and replaced it with different shots. Except… those different shots of Miki and Megumi are taken from episode 37 – I can tell, because Boobs – and are therefore significantly more fanservicey than episode 38’s perfectly fine non-fanservicey artstyle, which doesn’t feel male-gazey about the lower-body angle it uses for them here. So that… doesn’t seem to be the reason why they edited this? In which case, the dubbers just decided to take away a moment of a female character being smart and figuring something out on her own, and turned it into her being hysterical. Thanks, guys.

Tohma: “All of you fall away from Belphemon and concentrate on evasion tactics!”

[…]

Tohma: “Don’t you get it?! The tear he made in space-time is gradually widening!”

~~~~~

Thomas: “Everybody, fall back! Gather together down here, right now!”

[…]

Thomas: “Don’t you get it, Marcus?! We need to be careful and precise with our counterattack!”

Thomas’s strategy in response to this is quite different. Tohma was so freaked out over the potential danger that he thought they needed to stop attacking entirely, but Thomas wants to keep attacking and just be more careful about it, which seems reasonable under the circumstances. That makes it somewhat less something that Marcus should take issue with.

Tohma: “Even under normal circumstances, the wall that separates space-time in this area has been weakening considerably because of frequent connection with the Digital Gate!”

~~~~~

Thomas: “Kurata and Belphemon have ripped huge holes in the space continuum! They’re on the verge of destroying both worlds!”

Thomas’s explanation doesn’t remind us of the fact that the barrier between worlds has already been weakening over time, which is probably a big part of why these events here are the last straw that’s going to destroy it completely. It’s not just because Belphemon om-nommed some space-time bombs. Things were leading up to this for a while.

Marcus: “Same old story. So what you’re sayin’ is, we need to beat this jerk, fast!”

…Which isn’t quite something Thomas was saying not to do, unlike Tohma. He still wanted to attack, just in a more precise way.

Masaru: “Ever since the beginning, I knew there would be trouble.”

~~~~~

Marcus: “The situation is always dangerous, so what’s so different about now?”

Yes, good, it seems like the dub properly got the point of this original line that was subbed kind of weirdly. Pretty sure that’s meant to be closer to the right way to translate it.

Masaru: “But what we have to do… hasn’t changed a bit!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “We still have to win, right? So what are we waiting for? Let’s get goin’!”

I liked Masaru pointing out that their goal hasn’t changed. I guess it makes sense for Marcus to not frame it that way when Thomas wasn’t outright saying they should stop attacking altogether… but then why change Thomas’s approach in the first place? The point of this moment is that Tohma’s really terrified of the possible universe destruction and Masaru encourages him to not let that stop him and keep fighting anyway, but by having it so that Thomas was already willing to keep fighting, they’ve watered that down a bit.

Thomas: “You’re absolutely right, Marcus. Nothing’s changed at all!”

Yeah, but also, you didn’t seem to think it had in the first place nearly as much as Tohma did.

Probably Marcus’s Theme kicks in here, at least, yes good, I missed it. And…!

Marcus: “In that case…”

Thomas: “…It’s fighting time!”

!!!!!!

This is so cool! Thomas is being so inspired by Marcus’s fighting spirit that he’s using Marcus’s catchphrase, which he’s never done before! This is a delightful moment with great impact that can literally only happen in the dub, because Masaru doesn’t have an equivalent catchphrase. I love that they did this. It’s fantastic.

(I’m sad that they watered down the build-up to this by not having Thomas be nearly as hesitant to fight at all before Marcus talked him back into it, but, still!)

Kurata: “I won’t… let you do that!”

~~~~~

Kurata: “Last stand, huh? Good luck!”

Kurata’s tone of voice for this in the dub is a lot more casually taunting than is befitting of his expression of utter fury. It’s also just weird to hear him almost being sporting at a time like this (in a condescending way, but still, doesn’t match with the incoherent rage that should be the only thing fuelling him right now).

MirageGaogamon: “Ravemon! Ready to attack?”

Ravemon: “Yes! At full power!”

This exchange is a little weird, because what the two of them are about to do to Belphemon here isn’t actually attack him; they’re just holding him still so that he can’t dodge ShineGreymon’s incoming massive blast.

Kurata: “My supremacy is bottomless! Bottomless!”

~~~~~

Kurata: “You can’t win! I’m the best!”

Eh, it’s a bit of a simplistic way to get across Kurata’s insistence that he is the powerfullest greatest ever, but at least it’s there. In the original Japanese line, the supremacy part was only implied and added in by the subbers; all he literally yelled was “Bottomless! Bottomless!” I would not have been surprised if that had gone completely over the dubbers’ heads, but apparently not.

Tohma: “At this rate…”

Masaru: “Not yet! I’ll never give up until I punch him out!”

~~~~~

Thomas: “At this rate…”

Marcus: “Hold up! I don’t wanna hear any more talk like that – we’re *not* giving up!”

Slight shift in focus here in that Marcus is making this about all of them not giving up, whereas Masaru was more singularly focusing on how he himself was never ever going to give up no matter how bad it looked. Still appropriate either way.

Masaru: “I will be the one who knocks you down! Me, Daimon Masaru-sama!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “That’s right, Kurata, this is Marcus Damon talking, and I’m here to tell you that you’re goin’ down!”

Reasonable way to get across the effect of the self-sama, for once!

There’s a commercial break as Kurata fires a huge attack right at Marcus, before we see his friends protecting him from it. Nice moment for one. Marcus also makes a delightful tiny panicked noise as he watches the attack rush towards him, which I enjoy.

Masaru: “You guys… Why…?”

~~~~~

Marcus: “You guys saved me by blocking the attack… Why?”

Okay, now this is just awkwardly narrating-what’s-literally-happening, as if the viewers couldn’t figure out from seeing it that that’s what they’re doing. Come on.

MirageGaogamon: “I won’t overlook a friend… who’s in danger!”

Ravemon: “Don’t be so cold. At least let us take care of this much.”

Rosemon: “Maybe… because it’s in my blood.”

~~~~~

MirageGaogamon: “Like Thomas said: as a team, there isn’t an obstacle we can’t overcome.”

Ravemon: “You said it, too. We’re a team. We fight together!”

Rosemon: “Yeah. A team!”

I liked how for this bit in the original, each of the Digimon kind of had their own individual reasons for wanting to protect their friend and teammate. Having it turned into all of them simply echoing that they’re a team makes it more generic and less about any distinct characterisation for them. I’m particularly sad about the loss of Rosemon’s “it’s in my blood” – she sees Yoshino as family!

Masaru: “SHINEGREYMON! Lend me…! Lend me…! Lend me the power to save my friends and this world!!!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “Come on, ShineGreymon! Give me…! Power! All that you’ve got! Otherwise we’re gonna lose everything! Both our worlds and all our frieeeeends!”

Masaru’s delivery of this line is full of some really intense raw desperate emotion – like, his VA probably did a number on his throat voicing this – and it hits exactly as it should to get across that this somehow sparks some kind of telepathy between him and ShineGreymon that leads to him activating Burst Mode. Unfortunately, Marcus’s delivery, meanwhile… doesn’t hit that way at all. It doesn’t have any of that rawness to it. That drawn out “frieeeeends!” sounds pretty much as unintentionally silly as it looks in writing.

ShineGreymon: “Aniki, that’s wrong. I know because we’ve always fought together. Power isn’t something that is borrowed or given.”

Masaru: “Yeah, you’re right. Power isn’t something that is borrowed… or given… Power… is combined. Right, ShineGreymon?”

~~~~~

ShineGreymon: “You’re looking at it all wrong, Boss. Our strength has always come from deep inside of *you*. You’re the one giving your power… to me.”

Marcus: “Huh? … No. *You’ve* got it wrong. Our power comes from the combination of you and me and feeds off of our friendship. That’s why… we’re the ultimate. Isn’t that right, ShineGreymon?”

This moment is written better in the dub! It’s always been a thing with Agumon’s character that he believes all of his power comes from his aniki and not really himself. So it works so much better for him that in this moment, ShineGreymon still thinks that he gets his power from Marcus, and it’s only this which allows Marcus to realise that they’re both wrong and it comes from both of them combined.

I don’t know why the original writers didn’t think of that, but I love that the dub writers did! For once, they decided to change a thing because they believed they could do it better and they were actually right! It’s wild.

Masaru: “We will protect the world… and our friends…”

~~~~~

Marcus: “We *will* save our friends, and both our worlds!”

Japanese doesn’t do plurals, so it’s entirely possible that Masaru was referring to both worlds here (or just that he meant “the world” as a collective of both of them). I appreciate the dub making it explicit that Marcus really does mean both worlds, since they’re both in jeopardy right now.

Masaru: “Let’s go.”

ShineGreymon: “Yeah.”

~~~~~

Marcus: “Ready, pal?”

ShineGreymon: “Ready.”

Awwww, they are pals, it is Good.

This part (but only really towards the end of it) has some neat BGM that’s at least vaguely similar in mood to the haunting choral feel of Burst Mode in the original. It’s also different to the piece I compared to Burst Mode in episode 35; it has a much more uplifting feel than that one.

And then! Hey! We haven’t had a new upgrade to the evolution theme in a while, have we? There’s one for Burst Mode! It’s pretty similar to the Ultimate one, to be fair, but there’s even more layers and elements to it and it’s great to have something new. I just watched this entire fight scene all at once without stopping to comment on any of the dialogue because I was having too much fun jamming out to the music (and, well, enjoying that in conjunction with the genuinely really good animation of this part).

Masaru: “Charge! Digisoul Burst!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “Charge! DNA Burst Mode!”

(Oh yeah, the evolution call is slightly different, because in Japanese, “Burst” is pronounced more like “Bursto”, and so there’s an extra syllable of lip-flap to fill.)

BanchouLeomon: “By merging your feelings into one and fiercely igniting your strongest Digisoul…”

~~~~~

BanchoLeomon: “By combining the intensity of your emotions, and your everlasting friendship with each other…”

Okay maybe I’m a sap, but I approve of how BanchoLeomon’s dub narration about them achieving the Burst Mode includes a mention of their everlasting friendship that the original didn’t.

Kurata: “DAIMON!”

[…]

Kurata: “I won’t allow this!”

~~~~~

Kurata: “Keep him away!”

[…]

Kurata: “Aaagh! Do something, Belphemon, quickly!”

Kurata’s lines here imply that he’s only ordering Belphemon to attack and isn’t actually directly in control of his body? I really don’t think that’s supposed to be the case. Belphemon sure wasn’t happy about Kurata hanging out in his body back when he was speaking for himself; why would he suddenly be okay with working together with him?

(Though I do appreciate them having Kurata begin to freak out even sooner here.)

Kurata: “Stay away from me…! No!”

This line’s basically unchanged, except… the part in episode 24’s flashback where Kurata first said this to the Lynxmon that started it all didn’t happen in the dub, because the censors were too busy cutting out him holding a gun. So there’s no delightful narrative bookending here in the dub. It’s a shame.

(And the censors apparently didn’t even need to cut that moment with the gun, because they didn’t cut a brief shot of him with the gun in another flashback to that flashback in episode 25! So this could have still been a thing! Oh, these inconsistencies with the censorship.)

ShineGreymon: “This will finish you, Kurata!”

~~~~~

ShineGreymon: “You’re finished, Kurata!”

I lament the lack of ShineGreymon specifying “this”, because in the original, the “this” in question is Masaru, in his hand, ready to punch Kurata to kingdom come. Of course ShineGreymon in the dub is still about to hold out Marcus, but his wording means he’s not making such a big thing about how Marcus will be the one to finish him, and I loved that in the original.

Yoshino: “Do it for the Digimon who were victimised!”

~~~~~

Yoshi: “Do it for all the Digimon whose lives Kurata took!”

Yes good, glad we’re not awkwardly dancing around murder in this dramatic moment and this is a natural way to word things.

Ikuto: “For everyone who suffered under Kurata!”

~~~~~

Keenan: “Get revenge for Frigimon! And Merukimon!”

On the one hand I like that Keenan’s specifically mentioning his Digi-parents here (though presumably Ikuto was very much including them in the “everyone” and just didn’t want to leave any of the other victims out). But I don’t like that he’s still all about revenge. Ikuto had basically stopped wanting that by this point in his arc! Remember how last episode, he said he pitied Kurata?

(Which was removed in the dub, so this is a consistent change in Keenan’s outlook, whether by luck or judgement, but it’s a shame. I liked that character development for Ikuto.)

Kurata: “No! Please! Take pity on me, Marcus!”

Marcus: “Pity’s all I had for you… KURATAAAA!”

And instead… Marcus is the one who pities Kurata, apparently? Don’t get me wrong, this sure as hell sounds cool in the moment, accompanied by Marcus leaping at him to punch him out, but… I don’t feel like pitying Kurata is a thing that Marcus would do. Nor Masaru. (Heck, if anything, Marcus would be even less likely to do it than Masaru, since he’s generally more of A Jerk and worse at empathising with other people.)

Kurata: “You still haven’t won, Marcus…”

Kurata in the original doesn’t make any mention of Masaru in this bit where he insists his ambitions aren’t over and detonates the final space-time bomb. Dub-Kurata is still being a lot more Marcus-centric than I’m entirely sure he should be (again, that whole thing was really less about Masaru and more about the connection to his dad, in the original).

Kurata: “This isn’t what I was trying to dooooo!”

I presume what Kurata means by this is that he was simply trying to escape into the Digital World. Whoops, he didn’t mean to rip the universe apart, but too bad, Kurata, this is all your fault.

The part where Keenan calls out to Ravemon to try and save Kurata is still the same. Except it doesn’t work nearly as well in the dub, in which Keenan didn’t pity Kurata and still talked about getting revenge on him.

Overall differences

This… might be my favourite dub version of an episode, overall? The differences overall are fairly minor, it being a big fight episode, and it’s not that there aren’t still a bunch of small worse bits that I’m disappointed by. But I think there’s a higher-than-usual proportion of changes that I like, including a couple of really impactful ones!

Thomas said “it’s fighting time”, oh man, that bit’s So Good and something that can only happen in the dub and I love that they took the opportunity to do that. Slightly dampened by how the lead-up to it misses the point of how Tohma was supposed to be too scared to even want to attack, whereas Thomas still wanted to attack but more cautiously, but still.

The part with Marcus and ShineGreymon’s telepathy as they unlock Burst Mode is better and frankly the way I wish it had been in the original! It fits much better for Agumon’s character for him to believe that all his strength comes from Marcus, and for them to figure out between them that it comes from both of them combined.

On the whole, the shounen friendship parts are just pretty good and keep or even enhance that uplifting mood. There’s nothing too distinctive from Masaru for them to mess up this time, except for that one bit that was really them missing the point of Kurata instead.

Which brings me onto the negatives – the dub really has failed at Kurata at the final hurdle, which is such a shame after such a good showing up until now. They’re still thinking that him wanting to take over the worlds is about literally that and not simply about power. His grudge towards the Damons in this episode really shouldn’t be so centred on Marcus, either, because this isn’t supposed to be something that makes logical sense – it’s just irrational frothing rage revolving around Suguru having been the first person to ever tell him he was in the wrong. In general, Kurata’s a lot less incoherently angry in the dub than he was originally.

They also keep with the lack of Keenan having moved past revenge onto pitying Kurata last episode, by having him still mentioning revenge here. Meanwhile, instead, Marcus apparently pities Kurata, which sounds cool in that one line but doesn’t actually fit right as something I believe Marcus of all people would do?

#digimon #digimon savers #digimon data squad

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aeondeug · 4 years ago

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Ok so I made a post about why I didn’t like Gideon initially and I’ve talked to others about it. And I’ve seen a lot of people having the reverse experience. Which is cool, I think. And one I’m not surprised by if I think about how the two characters are introduced initially. Like, maybe Gideon’s humor is dumb but also she’s not the one being like “Oh man, it is time to systematically destroy this woman’s hopes that she has finally done it and escaped from me and my hell planet,” at the start of the book. Harrow is though. Harrow’s intro is very...Harrow. It’s very fitting for what is learned about her later on.

Anyway. I feel a desire to like. Write about the other half of this equation. And why it was that I instantly latched onto Harrow so hard. So like I said in the first post. Harrow’s got STYLE. She’s got like bone jewelry and wears all black and has skull face paint. She uses her own blood as ink for her fountain pen (it being a fountain pen matters) and she gets said blood by stabbing herself in the cheek. Also she’s a necromancer, which is just icing on the cake. Harrow’s entire fashion statement appeals to me as someone raised by a goth who ended up like...Never goth fashion or subculture wise, but someone who was a kid that Dreamed of being goth fashion wise. Alas, I went to a boring uniform school and also was too nervous of such things.

Harrow just LOOKS cool. Harrow is the sort of person that a dumb 13 year old me would have found the coolest and have viewed as like. An Aspiration. Even though she’s kind of a dumbass and also a dick. I was an edgelord of a kid and an edgelord who knew who Bauhaus were before I could read.

So Harrow’s instantly got fashion on her side. And she’s got her attitude. Which is also important. She does things for style and looks. The narration, which is from Gideon’s perspective, describes the fountain pen filling thing as “one of Harrow’s favorite party tricks”, I believe is the quote. When asked about why there are suddenly skulls all over their room her sole answer to this question is “Ambiance”. And she clearly cares about how she looks. Her paint is often described and a point is made that Gideon’s is not as well put on hers. Also? Her outfit? She’s got like. The bone wrist circlet thingies and her bone studs and her bone choker and the fucking bone chest thing that I am forgetting the word for right now. Harrow cares about appearances.

Which also shows in like...She makes a good show of how well read she is. Takes pride in that fact not just privately, but lets people know it. She runs off and tries to stubbornly do a puzzle on her own. The thing to wake her up from her near death stupor from failing in that is something insinuating they are better than her. And she’s still half dying but takes the time to state that, no, SHE is the best necromancer. Harrow’s got an ego and that shows from early on. Through things like how she dresses, how she talks, how she treats Gideon...

And I saw that and I just kind of instantly latched on. While reading early in the book and seeing her do a bitchy thing, I once joked that “Has anyone ever hugged Harrow?” and then jokingly decided that “No. No one’s hugged Harrow before.” This was a joke that I had made as someone with a rather neglectful family in several respects. And as someone whose general well being in their home was decided by how good I appeared in comparison to the other kids. In that sort of situation, not having much else, I took great pride in my being well read. In being Smart. This eventually made me insufferable as hell and that was crushed into the dirt. Either way, depressing story time aside. I made a joke that indicated that, early on, I had pegged Harrow as someone similarly neglected. As someone with a similar lack of anything going on.

Turns out I was right. Her situation’s very different from my own because of course it is. This is a book about space necromancers, after all. But she was a neglected child. One who had to grow up far too fast and who had a very strict and overbearing religious upbringing. Does that sort of thing cause that sort of concern for aesthetics and bitchery? I dunno. But I made a guess, as a joke, and the guess appeared to be right.

Another thing that I made a bet on with this early on was like...The nature of the relationship. They are the only two of their generation on that planet. Gideon is made out immediately to be like an indentured servant of the family. While Harrow is immediately revealed to be a high status fancy nun queen with a fancy title. Harrow’s parents are dead by that point and had been dead for a while. But, I knew, that theoretically they were not dead at some point. A point which Gideon had to be old enough to remember, given some of the comments made. Based on their antagonism towards one another and this set up...

A part of me wondered if like they had in fact had like a Favorite and Unfavorite dynamic as kids. Or I guess not actively wondered but like. The thought was in mind. Because I had grown up as The Favorite in a terrible home which had an Unfavorite. And this makes you a terrible person as a kid. So I saw these very small signs at the start of a book which hides most of the cool Harrow facts and interactions in its latter sections. And was like, on some level like, “Ah. You’re a bitch to her because you’re The Favorite. In part.”

I am kind of always looking for abused and neglected Favorites in fiction. One of my favorite characters is Azula. And I’m very fond of Gamora. I have a tendency to find them and latch onto them because like...I am still working through things. A lot of things. Sometimes seeing it in the things I read makes the stuff I am working through less terrifying. Sometimes it gives me a sense of hope. Either way, seeing a thing that is at least somewhat similar helps. And I look out for it. And Harrow apparently just gave off. The Aura. From the very start.

Because lo and behold, she was neglected as fuck and, indeed, the Favorite while Gideon was an Unfavorite so unfavorited that she was viewed as basically cursed and horrifying. And then Harrow was a mean bastard of a child towards her. And then it turns out that Harrow has like 10,000 weird guilt issues. Some of which involve her treatment of Gideon now because...How on earth could you even like her when you grew up with her? Like. How.

But even before those reveals later on...I had been making my guesses. Enough so that one of my earlier jokes about the book was about how no one ever hugged Harrow and how she is out doing this shit for some sense of fucking acknowledgement for once. Because maybe if you’re acknowledged that like...Will count. As your Actual True Affection quota for the day. Harrow was not just stylish and mysterious. She also had little bits and bobs, either that she revealed herself in her few appearances in the early portion of GtN or which were revealed by way of how Gideon talks about her and acts about her, which hinted towards the basic idea of what Harrow’s deal even was.

I did not guess the exact specifics of Harrow’s deal because who the hell could divine that from the first act of the first book. But I did guess at the core idea laying behind the specifics of that deal. And the deal was that she was the neglected but favored child in a really shitty home, who has ended up with an ungodly amount of guilt issues for her behavior and general existence. And it made her mean, guarded, and protective of her image and it gave her an ego sky high. Which you can all see in the first portion of the book to an extent. Even though she is very scarce in said first portion. Which I think is either a tantalizing mystery of “What the fuck is even your problem, Harrow?” or like just enough info in just the right way for people with a similar experience to go “lol no one hugged you when you were a kid” with a knowing prescience.

#the locked tomb #harrowhark nonagesimus #my experience was basically my instantly pegging her for having the same sort of damage #and making fun of her for it #and then realizing i was right and feeling progressively sadder for her

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ponds-of-ink · 3 years ago

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Stanley Parable Hypothesis/Theory (But Told as a Story, to match the game): “The Narrator Hypothesis”

The title should probably sum it up. Huge spoilers for Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe and a whole bunch of trying to put puzzle pieces together from all the videos/tidbits I've watched/learned. I don't think I've solved anything by any means, but at least I got this off my chest.

All right, from the top!

—

This is the sad story of a man named “Kevin”.

Of course, I’m not sure I can call him “Kevin” since no one’s found his actual name. Investigating these half-human, half-computers are rather difficult— Finding the factory numbers imprinted on their screen heads…

Oh, yes. Sorry. I forget to keep things short sometimes. Ahem…

This is the sad story of a half-man, half-computer named “Kevin”, who had the voice of some snarky British man who was known for narrating anyway. And yes, I checked that last part.

Anyway, “Kevin” worked in an office much like the character he would later make. Pressing buttons, filing paperwork, sending the third email explaining to his boss why a certain font would make some document stand out more… Those sorts of tasks. But “Kevin” had an itch he wanted to scratch. Something that he always wanted to get back to, but never had the time.

Writing stories.

If he wasn’t fitted with one of those huge, bulking computers from the 1990s, then his head would’ve certainly been a typewriter. Back when he was young and sharp, he could weave tales of an underground facility watching all of the world’s birds or people cursed to be turned into buckets. Tales that, no matter how silly they were on the surface, always seemed to dumbfound his friends in the best kinds of ways. Stories that made them—and him, at times— think.

But, alas, times changed. Responsibilities shifted. Relationships grew and broke right before his pixelated eyes. Now, bitterly complacent with his current life, he wondered how exactly he could reignite that spark when all he knew was his own office work.

Then, it hit him. “Of course!” ‘Kevin’ exclaimed one day as he sat at his desk. “They always say ‘Write what you know’, don’t they? Well, why don’t I craft a story about office work and then… twist it a bit?”

So, over the course of several weeks, “Kevin” worked on his story. I’d explain the process a bit more, but I’m sure you’re just here for the sad bit I promised at the beginning. I’ll just say Stanley was born out of a customized variant of player model code from Portal, the female narrator was his next-cubicle coworker pitying Stanley and changing some things in one of the endings, and all of the choices were planned out— Yes, even the unplugged phone one, miraculously. “Kevin” just played dumb for that one and… Well… it didn’t really pan out for his emotional state that day.

After all this work, “Kevin” sent his story to a game developer who was looking for promising ideas. The developer loved it, “Kevin” was brought on board as a consultant, and the Stanley Parable (as they know it) was made. Money rolled in, “Kevin” got his narrating paycheck, and him and the company parted ways.

But something was still wrong with “Kevin”.

The itch wasn’t done being scratched, even with the success this Parable gave him.

Five years later, he tells the developer that he wants new endings. “I know the Parable’s done, but I feel like its missing something,” ‘Kevin’ explained. “Some ‘extra lore pizazz’, I guess.” Surprised by this confession, the developer told him that the company was already planning on porting the Stanley Parable anyway. Maybe even adding new content, if they had enough room. Delighted, “Kevin” returned to working on Stanley’s adventures. He mapped out rooms for the modelers, scripted new dialogue for himself to say, and even worked in those extra stories like the one about people turning into buckets! Yes, his creative mind was hard at work, keeping it all under the pretense of an arrogant narrator ready to get Stanley back in line.

Until, one day, something happened during play-testing a new level. A secret one only he knew about: the Memory Zone. This well-constructed building housed all the memorabilia of his prized creation that he recorded in his databanks. Good reviews, replicated rooms that the developers had to cut due to porting issues, all those nominees the original got… Everything was there.

Even the bad reviews, which had somehow slipped under his radar the first time.

I guess you don’t need me to tell you how that all went at that point. At least, in detail. Bad reviews sent him on a self-loathing spree, he invents a skip button that sends Stanley and him seemingly into the future, yada yada. Clearly, it sent him on a downward spiral that was stopped by the other tester resetting the game. And everyone in the studio was thankful for that.

Except, thanks to a few new factors, the reset didn’t exactly work. Sure, the sequel was announced without a hitch and “Kevin” managed to remember where he started from thanks to the Collectible Ending… But the bad reviews still lingered as much as the skip button’s effects. In fact, it increased as soon as the Stanley Parable 2 came out. Soon, the Memory Zone was just a sand-covered husk of what it used to be. And “Kevin”? Well, to paraphrase Stanley’s own sad ending in one section…

And they tried again, and “Kevin” pushed a button.

And they tried again, and “Kevin” pushed another button.

And they tried a third time…

Everything in his room went black.

Is there a moral to this, like a usual parable? I don’t know, really. I just wanted to make sense of all this new information that was shown off from what was left of that original Stanley Parable duology. Is “Kevin” really dead, or did his screen just shut down after so much overworking? Is this Data Collector that’s running the other ‘sequels’ really having everyone’s best interests at heart, or is he planning some sort of comeback in a new story? Are we ever going to find out why that Bucket has such reality-warping abilities outside of some wizard’s control? Is there even such a wizard to begin with?

So many questions, so little time. A shame I’m not the narrator who can answer them.

#the stanley parable #stanley parable spoilers #stanley parable ultra deluxe #the narrator #”Kevin”#fanfic #hypothesis #kind of #the fact that #this is only o n e angle you can take this is just #fittingly mind-boggling

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karoiseka · 3 years ago

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Bow

((Okay. C’mon. This is me with Karo here. You KNOW which way I was gonna pronounce/interpret this word... Anyways, I was gonna do this just simple thing where I had Karo as my main “narrator” going through things... and then... well. Seirlait said no. He said his turn. So. Some more Karo backstory, and Dads backstory too.))

Seirlait looked at the tiny bow in his hands and again wondered why he had traded for it in the last town they were in. Feo had been teaching Karo reading and numbers, not to mention introducing her to the tales that he so loved in book format. Her thirst for knowledge was strong and he wanted to encourage that as much as possible, but she had also been asking about hunting with him. He had put it off, waiting until he was positive that it was something she wanted to learn, but she had been sneaking out to watch him practice, or just using the excuse to sit outside the wagon as he set up his targets. His bow was almost as tall as she was, but, despite that Seir had caught her holding it on more than one occasion, tugging gently on the bowstring, eyes wide at how taut it was.

He had found a seller with a Lalafell sized bow--not too hard on the pull--and bought it, hiding it in his pack. She wasn’t much taller than most grown people of that race, and he didn’t want to get her something too soft. If she couldn’t pull it, she’d do chores to grow into it. He had gotten a collection of arrows to fit it as well, and laid it in her chair for when she awoke in the morning. She might not realize, but it had been a year since he found her in the clearing, alone and forgotten. All their lives had changed so much in so little time, and she had blossomed in their care, growing towards the bright sunny future.

Many years later, the small kitten had grown into a lithe teen, the blue in her hair more pronounced, and tan facial markings darkening with time. Karo had taken to the bow as if she had been born with one in her hand, an equal to his hunting skills after her years of training. Together they took on small bounties and hunted for those that couldn’t for coin, helping to augment their trading and adding pelts and meat to sell. She had long graduated her starter bow, and now carried a short bow well suited for the forests the mainly hunted in. Despite being a natural, if they were out together, she still looked to him for guidance though and approval, finding his eyes after every shot to make sure she had done well. He thanked the Twelve that she hadn’t lost her thirst for knowledge either, days filled with hunting and evenings filled with learning.

It all hadn’t been smooth sailing, several winters were very lean having to be creative with their stores and food, and there had been one that they had to forego staying in the cabin altogether, staying on the road going far south into Thanalan hoping for the warmer weather to stave off the ill fortune of that year. There were the normal storms, rocky patches, and growing pains as well, though they all came together in the end. And she continued to grow.

The short wooden bow was gripped with white-knuckles as tears streamed down three broken faces. They had arrived back after five long years away--traveling all over, giving succor where able and learning the new pathways and ways of the world after disaster had struck and torn all asunder. The last thing Seirlait and Feophaux expected to be confronted with when they joyously made their way back to their home was the stranger in their daughter’s body. Blue eyes held no recognition, wondering who they were as they invaded her haven from the outer world. They had tried to reconcile, tried to make her remember, each moment, each sun bringing more pain. A small pack was slung over her shoulder, bow in hand as she fled--no memories to help her on her path, no desire to remain a moment more. The men clung to each other, distraught, but knowing nothing else to do but let her go--their precious daughter they could no longer protect.

The silver trimmed with deep blue gems called to Seir as his hand hovered over beautiful trimming on the sting bow. They had come, traveling further than ever with the rumors of the Warrior of Light being in the area, but were about to flee again with actually looking for her--again. The fear of the unseeing, unrecognizing eyes glancing over them was almost more painful than not seeing her at all. They had found that plenty of the people in the rebuilt outpost knew and loved their daughter--which did not surprise them. Seir looked over at Feo, and dug out most of their funds, paying off the balance of the beautiful bow that could help keep her safe. Next time she was there, the bow would be her's, and they could sleep just a little better.

They were able to pull the trick off of funding her a better weapon one more time, just before the battle at Ghimlyt Dark. The exotic bow that she had started paying on was fashioned with a dragon in the Doma style, and they knew she had spent plenty of time there the past couple of years freeing the people there. It was hard to picture their little girl pulling such an obvious weapon of war instead of a hunting bow made for practicality. It mattered naught if it kept her safe. They could hear commotion at the tunnel leading to the lands toward Ala Mhigo, and they fled back to the Shroud as fast as their Chocobos were willing to go--once more fearful of eyes that would see right through them. They would linger though, helping these desperate people rebuild as best they could. They had already brought a wagon full of travelers--refugees--from Little Ala Mhigo in the south of Thanalan back to their homeland. It didn’t pay much--but that’s not why they did it.

To be able to help her, in the slightest way, to help those that she helped as well and hear the first hand tales of those that she had sat and talked with, made a difference to. It was all they could have for now, and would take with both hands as best they could until she came back to them. A letter sat, forlorn and full of hope, ready to be found it time brought her back home when they weren’t there--a reminder of their love of her that never waned.

#ffxiv #FFXIVWrite2021 #karoiseka #seirlait #feophaux #backstory #ooc I was always broke on Karo #and I figured the tomes took a while to earn up #soooo..#I dunno #I liked the idea #and I'm horrible at dialogue #so #there's none of that #I am happy with this #and proud of how I figured out how to put the bows on the counter.#hehehe

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f4liveblogarchives · 3 years ago

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Fantastic Four Vol 1 #270

Wed Dec 30 2020 [03:54 PM] Wack'd: I will accept this only if next issue has a different logo. Like Thor that one time

[03:54 PM] Wack'd: *checks* dangit [03:55 PM] Bocaj: I do like playing with logo like that [03:55 PM] Wack'd: Back in New York Johnny and Alicia hang out at Johnny's new apartment [03:56 PM] Wack'd: Johnny talks about how because they lost their folks at a young age Johnny let Sue make all the decisions, and since he moved out he's realized how dependent he was [03:58 PM] Wack'd: hrhrrhrhrhrgrggggggg

[03:58 PM] Bocaj: That seems like another age gap thinger for the bingo [03:58 PM] Wack'd: Why is "Alicia found out about Ben offpanel" the least bad thing about this [03:59 PM] Bocaj: In one sense since Alicia was an exact duplicate for Sue it makes sense their ages would be similar but also bad [03:59 PM] Wack'd: Also yeah Ben was also a WWII vet which woulda made him fifteen years older than his teenage girlfriend [03:59 PM] Wack'd: At least [04:00 PM] Bocaj: STANBYRNEEEEE [04:00 PM] Wack'd: Who was also some kind of, like. Shut in who hadn't met another man in three years?! Which makes Ben even grosser for jumping into a relationship with her?! [04:01 PM] Umbramatic: fuck [04:01 PM] Bocaj: It’s like an onion [04:04 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Alicia rationalizes that she felt like Ben was pushing her away even before Secret Wars, and everyone acted like she and Ben were married but she never felt that stability. She's okay with that fact that they've both turned a corner in their lives but also does not say what that corner was for her [04:05 PM] Wack'd: These are not the vibes I was getting but alright [04:05 PM] Wack'd: Also not the vibes I was getting

[04:07 PM] Bocaj: Geez Alicia [04:07 PM] Bocaj: Geez Johnny [04:07 PM] Bocaj: Geez [04:07 PM] Wack'd: Johnny is "confused and not a little frightened by the dawning realization that all these years he may have failed to find his perfect woman because she was standing too close", the narration tells us [04:09 PM] Wack'd: Back at the Baxter Sue is feeling...conflicted. She's angry at herself for throwing a fit last issue, guilty for losing her baby even though it's not her fault, and still frustrated about being sidelined [04:10 PM] Bocaj: Amazing that therapy voice Reed didn’t consider this [04:11 PM] Wack'd: I know, right? [04:12 PM] Wack'd: So Terminous is like "what if Galactus was more of a shitheel" [04:13 PM] Wack'd: He wants to steal Earth's resources and is willing and able to break the planet into its component parts to make that happen [04:13 PM] Wack'd: He even has an enslaved scientist from another planet he demolished guiding him to the juiciest intergalactic spoils [04:14 PM] Umbramatic: rrrrrrrrrrresources [04:14 PM] Wack'd: Said enslaved scientist gets unceremoniously murdered because Termanious thinks Earth is kind of a shithole [04:14 PM] Umbramatic: f [04:14 PM] Bocaj: Alas science man we barely knew ye [04:15 PM] Wack'd: So the experiment Reed was doing last issue [04:16 PM] Wack'd: That makes things have half the speed of the sun [04:16 PM] Wack'd: He uses it on Terminous and the dude instantaneously zooms into the Earth's core [04:16 PM] Bocaj: HAH [04:17 PM] Umbramatic: nyooooooooooooom [04:17 PM] Bocaj: Although I’m worried about the massive hole in earth that I assume exists [04:17 PM] Wack'd: Jen: Kind of Racist

[04:17 PM] Umbramatic: aw [04:18 PM] Bocaj: Jen no [04:18 PM] Bocaj: Don’t revert to two in one [04:19 PM] Wack'd: Epilogue: Wyatt turns down the position of Chief. He worries that so long as he's got wanderlust in his heart--be it for life in general or bonkers sci-fi adventures--he's not gonna be able to put his whole head and heart into being leader [04:20 PM] Wack'd: And Reed offers him a lift back to New York

#1984 #John Bryne #The Main Book

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katnissmellarkkk · 4 years ago

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Okay, here we go! Imma do my liveblog of The Hunger Games, Chapter One, for #THGagain :

I’ll put my thoughts underneath the cut so I don’t clog up the dash 🥳

Okay but right off the bat, Katniss says her mattress cover is rough 🥺. I don’t know, this just made me sad all of a sudden.

So okay, but the fact that Prim had a bad dream and climbed in with their mother? I don’t know if that indicates that Prim still sees their mother as a source of comfort whereas Katniss can’t let herself feel the same way or if it’s just because she didn’t want to wake Katniss.

Maybe it’s supposed to be that Prim is too naive to understand that their mother is mentally fragile? Since in Mockingjay, she says “I know there’s only so much mother can hear,” or something like that, as a way to prove she’s not a little kid anymore sooo. I don’t know. Just some thoughts.

Katniss is shady towards mama right off the bat 🤣. Katniss is shady no matter what though. It’s what makes her narration sound like a teenage girl.

If Katniss is so anti-social though, who’s telling her her mother was once beautiful?

As a cat lover, I take offense to Katniss’ insults to the poor one eyed furball 😭.

So coal miners are also women? I suspected as much but I didn’t realize it was explicitly stated? So if Katniss’ life had gone differently, would she have become a coal miner?

So none of the houses in Twelve get electricity outside of a couple hours a night? Or just in the Seam?

I always forget that Katniss had nightmares even before the games 😔😔😔. Nightmares of her father “being blown to bits.” She has a vivid way with words.

Her father made her bow 🥺🥺. I knew that. I just thought I should mention it again. She uses the bow her father handmade throughout the series 🥺.

Also she says Peacekeepers turn a blind eye to “the few of them who hunt”. A few is more than two. Who else besides Katniss and Gale go hunting?

I like that she randomly starts mumbling to herself 🤣🤣🤣

Once upon a time, Katniss was outspoken apparently. But she mentions that she has to hold her tongue even at home because Prim may repeat her words. I don’t know why, but Prim seems immature for twelve years old. At twelve, in today’s society, you’re going into sixth grade. A sixth grader should know how to keep a secret or hold her tongue.

Gale says she never smiles but in the woods but isn’t that the only place they really spend time together? 🤣

“I kind of liked that lynx but I liked the money I got for it’s pelt more” 😂😂😂

An arrow inside bread. How fortuitous 😭😭😭

I do love that Katniss’ first introduction of Gale is “he could be my brother”

“But we’re at least not that closely related” 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

“Katniss, get off your cousin”

Even though the merchant class is smaller

Meaning they’re even more inbred

And Katniss is half merch-

Okay I’m done with this line of thinking 🤭😅

So backwoods 🤣

So did Mrs. Everdeen’s parents disown her? Or what? Do they still own that apothecary shop? Does Katniss occasionally walk by her grandparents in the town square? Like I’d like more context here, Suz 🙃

Aww, I always feel so bad for Katniss when she talks about her mother abandoning her 😭😩🥺

“But to be honest, I’m not the forgiving type” me either. Me either 🤧.

This may be why I so closely relate to her when she’s angry.

And why when people in the book say she needs to be more forgiving (ala Haymitch) I’m like “no”

I’m sorry but on second glance (more like 8th glance because I’ve read this chapter since I was 16) it’s so obvious Gale was hitting on her here 😅.

She’s oblivious 🤣🤣🤣

As she should be 😆

So later on, in the second book at least, Katniss definitely has some high respect for Hazelle Hawthorne. But here it seems to be like she’s implying Hazelle and her own mother are useless without her and Gale, and like they wouldn’t be able to provide for themselves. Maybe Hazelle just wasn’t fleshed out to Suzanne when she wrote the first book, the same way the love triangle you can tell if you look is sort of just tossed in there in the first book too? Anyways, just a thought.

That line about Prim being the only person Katniss is certain that she loves is sweet (it’s actually one of my favorite lines in the series) but it’s also so shady at the same time 😅😅😅. Like girl, you’re not sure if you love your mother or even your best friend (in a platonic way)?

Katniss makes a point in mentioning it took a long time for her and Gale to become friends. And I feel like that has been simplified a lot along the way, but it never really sounded to me like Katniss and Gale were besties for as long as most people think. The movies are a lot to blame for this, I know.

I don’t actually think Katniss is truly jealous here of the other girls wanting Gale? I feel like if she were she would have unconsciously insulted the school girls who were into him instead of just outright saying she was jealous, just not for romantic reasons. But who knows 🤷🏼‍♀️.

It was already mentioned earlier but I think Suzanne made a continuity error here, when Gale and Katniss mentioned fishing at the lake. The lake is a place Katniss explicitly mentioned in Catching Fire, to be private between her and her father. She even specially said she never took Gale there. I feel much better about my own writing continuity errors now.

Okay, both Katniss and Gale are so dumb. I would never prepare a feast for after the reaping. They’re just jinxing themselves. I have OCD really bad no one come for me.

I like how The Hob is a black market that’s literally just sitting in broad daylight 🤣🤣🤣.

Katniss just referenced being attacked by dogs... um I’m sorry, do we have no fear of rabies in this universe? 😭😭🙃🙃😐😐😅😅

Katniss : “me and the mayor’s daughter aren’t friends, we just hang out all the time at school, eat lunch together, sit by each other and are always partners. But weren’t not friends.” 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

I like the mention of hair ribbons for the rich girl. This is just the fic writer in me seeping into my reading.

Gale and Madge’s little dispute ...

I see why they get shipped together 😅. They’re both just taking swipes at each other here.

Awww, Katniss sticking up for Madge, even though Madge is the privileged one 😭. Katniss has such a pure heart.

The entire point of the Madge/Gale interaction though was just to set up the class divide explanation in Katniss’ head to the reader.

But my Peeta centric heart also picks up on the comments in Katniss’ head of how unlikely it is to be chosen at the reaping when you’re a town kid.

In other words, Peeta had a slim to none chance of being chosen and still was.

Now I think of it, so was Prim...

That was just an unlucky reaping for the kids without tesserae 🙃

Also it reminds me of every fic I ever read that mentioned a conspiracy in the reapings and how the kids aren’t actually chosen at random but anyways I digress

I feel Gale though, with the whole idea of knowing something isn’t this person’s fault and there’s nothing they could do but still being so angry at them because it isn’t fair that you have to suffer and they don’t.

My anger issues are really showing 😅😅😅.

Honestly though, if Katniss is saying Gale on a normal day is rational about the class divide not being merchants faults, then clearly his issues with Peeta later on really were just of jealousy and not because he was a merchant vs Seam.

I just feel like I’ve seen that around and I’m not really convinced

In my interpretation of the character, Katniss’ reasons for not sharing in Gale’s rage comes from exhaustion after a lifetime of powerlessness. Some people (re: females more often) just get worn out about the things they cannot change and can’t even let it get inside their brain because there’s nothing they could do about it.

I mean, she is a more understanding person than Gale but I feel like so much of her character is already so tired right from chapter one.

Okay, just a pointless rambling thought

“Where something pretty” these children are so shady 🤣🤣🤣 that’s a line I would say though

The fact that her like 42 year old mother still fits in a dress she wore at like 20 is really a testament to how hungry they are 🤧🤧🤧

Okay but I’m not trying to pick on her mother, but when they were starving, why did either she or Katniss sell the fancy clothes from her apothecary days? I’m nitpicking I know. I’m a nitpicker.

Also good for Katniss trying to forgive her mother.

God knows how hard it is for me to try and forgive people.

Literally, God knows.

I like that Katniss didn’t disagree with Prim saying she’s beautiful, just that she doesn’t usually look this way 😂😂😂.

I just know my sister wouldn’t let me not take tesserae if this was us. She’d be like “you’ll be fine, four entries? Please. We can have more food for an entire year, don’t be selfish.” 😅😅😅

I feel like noting that Katniss and Prim’s age gap isn’t that significant? Four years? That’s not that large. Not even at 12 and 16.

They herd these children off like they’re .... pigs going to a slaughter... 🤭🤭🤭

Katniss casually stating “I could be shot on a daily basis” 😐😐😐

Katniss and Gale agreeing they’d rather be shot than starve is honestly so sad but lowkey sounds like something two teenagers would say. They should have put dialogue like this in the movies.

I didn’t even remember District 12 has 8,000 people.... why’d I think they only had 3,000????

I need to update some of my fics with this information

Katniss just said “televised by the state”. I’ve never heard her call any region a state before?

I like that Katniss calls Effie’s grin scary and white, because tons of people (i.e me) whiten our teeth in today’s society. And to Katniss and probably all of Twelve that’s creepy. I think it’s weird to Europeans too but l digress.

Also do the people in this district brush and floss, they never seem to mention it in the books, ya know?

Honestly the idea of the hunger games sounded cooler without Songbirds and Snakes telling us it was just some dumb guy’s idea that no one ever thought would come true.

Aww, sugar is a delicacy 🤧🤧🤧

I knew already that but lemme fully feel that sentiment for a moment okey

Umm I’m sorry, did Mayor Undersee just casually state Lucy Gray Baird’s name every year and we never knew it? Did Snow just allow this? Seems suspish

Also the idea of Katniss being her distant relative and hearing the name and not knowing the connection... and yeah, anyways. I got wayyyy ahead of myself and off track sorry

Why would Haymitch hug Effie? I’m sorry, but Hayffie having a secret affair at some point in all the years they worked together seems more likely than I thought.

I mean, Katniss never mentions Haymitch hugging anyone besides her and Peeta when they just almost died, are about to die or that one time Katniss was sobbing because she thought Peeta was gonna die.

You know what though? I like that at this moment, when the name is about to be announced, Katniss worried about herself. She spends so much time worrying for her sister, babying her sister, mothering her sister, she deserves ten seconds of worrying for her own safety.

Of course, said sister is the one chosen. Ironic considering the whole encounter with Madge.

Okay, I think that concludes my thoughts for chapter one of The Hunger Games!

#thgagain #I’m not tagging anything else because this is so long I’m so sorry if anyone tries to read this mess 😅😅😅😅😅🤧🤧🤧🤧

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papers4me · 4 years ago

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Fruits Basket, Se03. ep 7 (part 1)

Just to clarify, the only thing I didn’t like abt this ep is tohru, the rest is so good. kyo’s mental state is at its lowest & you can feel for him! ugh!, surprisingly akito’s own lid was so well-done!, Ren & shigure were epicly disgusting & fascinating!, kureno was so well-written, the final scene of tohru & kyo rightfully setting for the climax! Before moving on to the good part, I’ll quickly go over why torhu’s character was once again the most inconsistent character in the show:

Ep,6 ending showed us a completely broken kyo in full display in front of tohru, best furuba cliff hanger to date hands down, followup: tohru laughing, cooking & wondering if kyo is asleep!!!. Complete detachment & extreme insensitivity to what she witnessed earlier. Not an ounce of wonder if kyo is okay or if sth is wrong with him. Not a single inner thought of “ I hope he’s okay” or “ oh momiji don’t call him, He’s a bit tired” while flashbaking to his traumatized face. Honestly, all they needed to do was a small quick inner thought to connect the scenes. No need to write new scenes. Alas, Tohru’s complete lack of compassion struck me deep. I was told ep6 ending was an anime original scene, I don’t mind any diversion from the original since I don’t know the it, but those writers who wrote a complete new scene didn’t feel the need to transition from it to the rest of the manga? really? It’s hard to believe.

Choosing the kitchen’s happy scene after of kyo’s nightmare is not bad as it shows that nobody either care or know abt his issues, fair enough. However, choosing the kitchen’s happy scene after the PTSD in tohru’s own bedroom & not modifying tohru’s happy go lucky, let’s cook yay face to a realistic concerned expression is absurd! It really takes plenty from tohru as a character. This comes after tohru’s long awaited background ep which returns tohru back to square one.

Just last ep, tohru opened her lid in front of kyo & he comforted her, While she still yet to overcome her fears, she failed miserably in doing the only thing that she’s been doing since se01, ep1, being compassionate & thoughtful. Oh well, adding a light scene in the midst of kyo & akito’s dark sequence is more important than tohru’s character consistency & growth.

moving on from tohru~~~

-Kyo’s suffocation: (guilty or not, it doesn’t matter)

we get kyo’s nightmare really gave me chills & was visually well-done. it brilliantly conveyed the feeling of suffocation, blinding fear, & intensified trauma. The nightmare’s horror vividly showcases kyo’s deepest insecurities & trauma:

It started with his mother’s “ it’s not your fault” sth kyo craved to hear from her very badly. Yet, it contradicted her action: Choosing death over staying with him.

His mother brings salvation: the cat’s cage. The cat’s room parallel’s kyo’s real life at his parents house. In se01, eo24, kyo said, he wasn’t allowed to play outside or watch TV, while his bracelet ”handcuffs” were routinely checked by his mom. Just like a prison. His mom sentenced him in the new prison fitting for more horrible sins. The cat’s cage for the rest of his life.

While kyo looks panicked & horrified but on the verge to refuse, kyoko appears. “I won’t forgive you” solidifying his mom’s judgement.

They both warn him of the consequences of living & be forgiven: tohru’s death. Go on, kyo. Add one more victim to suffer in your behalf while you roam free. You might think that you can escape the cat’s cage but your hands remain dirty with blood. Others might not see the blood on yoyr hands, but YOU do.

Kyo is torn between being an actual sinner or a victim, between causing intentional harm or unintentional hurt, between being guilty or not. It all doesn’t matter & kyo knows it. What matter is the punishment has been going for years now & he’s tired, broken, lost & just wants it all to end. Death. Slow death in a tiny cage is so fitting for all the pain he caused others, for all the pain he suffered.

Kyo knows (a) suffering in front of tohru is hurting her. (b) Accepting her love will lead to hurting her: confessing of kyoko’s death. (c) Abandoning her is hurting her. (d) kyo knows that he doesn’t deserve her, not after he caused all this pain. (e) Above all, kyo can’t live with himself anymore. being close to her hurt so much.

-Akito’s lid: ( broken home & broken self image):

I must say they did an excellent job of presenting akito’s past! (a) It was a mixture of narration through (shigure & Ren), (b) actual animation of her parents causing her pain & traumatizing her (the scenes of Akira’s last words, her mom’s accusations), (c) Actual animation of the origin of her parents (Ren & Akira’s relationship), (d) akito herself confessing abt her pain in front of kureno. Tohru’s own lid on the other hands was presented through (a) excessive narrative with minimum animation (the grandpa’s endless exposition of tohru’s background quickly wrapped up), (b) no real animation of kyoko actually hurting tohru or how she did it, just again the grandpa narrating that kyoko “went away”. (c) tohru’s own self recall of her past being cut into pieces & divided throughout the ep, once after running from shigure & another in the sheet scene. Tohru’s ep wasn’t bad at all, it was good, but it was evidently shortened & summarized lazily. Oh well. What both eps serve is painting tohru & akito as foils of each other:

Both are attached toxicly to their parent. Tohru: kyoko & Akito: akira.

Both were welling to create a fake persona or an image that keeps this toxic love alive & cling to it no matter what.

Both hurt themselves the most & are struggling to let go of this bond.

Both have parents that hurt them. Akito: ren & tohru: kyoko, altho it is not clear how kyoko hurt tohru but kyoko is more a ghost than a real character.

Both cling to a dead object that represent their deceased parent. Tohru & the photo frame & akito & the box.

Kyoko existed to be this perfect mother with no sins, the character that tohru embodied to “fix” & “ heal all broken kids”. She lives only in memories. Even other characters think of her as this holy being. It is alluded Kyo seemed to know her as a real person who can commit mistakes, therefore, to kyo, kyoko isn’t an angel or a holy being. However, thanks to their encounter at her death & her “ I won’t forgive you” words, kyoko now is a haunting ghost to kyo. Akira on the other hand, existed as this sickly, pale & fragile head of the house, treated with so much aura & holiness. He died but his sins remain in how he raised akito.

Both must let go of their toxic bonds. Tohru of her deep attachment to her mom & akito to the zodiacs.

Both must learn to form healthier relationships.

However, there are striking differences between them! tohru never abused anyone nor attempted murdering someone by throwing’ em from a terrace, or locking them & torment them or stabbing them with a knife!! Tohru’s sin is torturing herself which by consequence tortured kyo, too. Cuz there’s is a theme of a loved-one’s pain is mine as well. Kyo’s mom hurt her own self & ended her own life. This resulted in her son’s years of immense pain, trauma & self-loath & similar suicidal tendencies, se0, ep16 “ I’ will yuki & then kill myself”, & se02, e9 “ mother, if only you killed me instead”. tragic.

Side Notes:

I will say this with a broken heart....... Tohru must learn to let go of.... kyo. She is suffocating him. Not on purpose. I want them to be together! so bad! they’re so perfect for each other, but also, right now is NOT the time for this. Kyo & tohru’s character issues is NOT abt romance. They have real traumatic issues that are hindering their growth as independent characters. Tohru’s growth might not be well-written or well-presented, but kyo’s growth is still not explored. Next ep is where his lid opened! it must be painful. A person suffering from extreme self-loath & suicidal tendencies shouldn’t be presented so lightly in favor for the love cures all fairy tale! PLZ! NO!

Tohru must learn to not repeat her mistake again & live only for one person. She must let go of kyo in order to gain kyo back. Right now, She can’t have him! kyo is suffocated by his own trauma & adding tohru’s guilt on top of it is devastating. I mean, This could go differently & kyo might accept her love on the spot, & tohru might save him again or sth. I can see this being going deeper or shallower depending on the desired theme. Which of furuba’s heavy themes will be given to climax?

why is momiji doing a rabbit burger? he’s not cursed anymore. I know he’s keeping it a secret, but I thought momiji’s whole growth was abt letting go of the past. he still identifies with the zodiac rabbit?

Ren is hella sexy! & her Japanese VA deserves an Oscar! The way she expresses sexiness, seductive, anger, hate, contempt, sarcasm, delusional screaming, pain! EPIC!

“I thought I was created to receive others contempt” ugh! this hurt, kyo.

Shigure’s line abt looking at Ren to fantasize how akito will look if she were allowed to be a woman, ewww!!!! hella disgusting! imagine sleeping wth someone & fantasizing abt her daughter or vise versa!

Honestly, this ep while not excusing akito’s crimes & abuse of others, it did paint her in a human light. I really don’t want her to end up with shigure. Akito’s whole life is abt misunderstood love. Give her time to discover herself. A guy who slept with her mom is never a reasonable partner even if he loves her for eternity. but oh well~

Shigure indirectly caused Isuzu’s near death abuse by Akito. all in his attempts to free akito from the curse. I love how disgustingly selfish he is. I remember his “ you mom told you to not interfere, kagura” in se03, ep3. shudder!!! if hiro never met haru that day & confessed to him, if kureno never noticed the maid! Still, he went & visited isuzu after her 4 moths imprisonment in the cat’s cage her hospitals discharge & recovery!

ngl... Shigure & Ren’s sexual tension is the biggest in furuba. Eww!

I’ll talk abt kureno & akito more in part 2. but I felt nothing watching kureno get stabbed lol. this is due to the trailer spoiling it & the ED having him happily in love -_-’. bummer!.

I love tohru & kyo’s outfit in the ep cliff hanger. lol. Tohru really dressed up to confess.

Tohru read the room! Even if you magically forgotten how sickly & out of it he was in your room earlier, remember this: Kyo always have bad mood in the rain! Then again... he did hug her for the first time & called her by her name in the midst of a rainy storm. se01, e024. >_<!

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #part 1 #sleepy paper

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bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture · 4 years ago

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With the second half of chapter 11, I am ready for people thoughts / questions / comments on the opening arcs. Were there favorite parts of it? Parts you wish had had a little more to them? Who’s your favorite / least favorite of the characters as shown so far? Anything you found particularly interesting about certain scenes / panels / etc. that you want to share? Have at it!

I’ll probably be doing some of that myself as I go back through for any little moments I liked, and sort of summarize my own thoughts on the opening arcs. Then, of course, we get to get into the USJ, and see some real action! <3

[No. 11 - Bakugou’s Starting Line]

We come back to the nurse’s office, where Toshinori is awkwardly hovering by Izuku’s bed while Recovery Girl tears into him for Izuku’s third time in her office despite the school year only just starting, and why he hasn’t prevented that damage from happening. Toshinori apologizes to her, and she tells him it’s not her he needs to apologize to.

(Also, man he’s swimming in his hero costume - really gives a sense of the size difference between the two forms to be honest.)

She notes that Izuku’s come to her both that day and the day before completely fatigued, and that this sort of damage isn’t so easily healed. He’s on an IV drip and has gotten emergency first aid, but all that can be done now is wait for him to recover on his own.

Which brings me back to chapter 4 with her managing to heal him while he’s completely unconscious and in way worse shape - I really do believe at this point that she CAN use her own stamina to help a patient in critical condition who doesn’t have the energy to heal themselves, but it’s not as effective and, well, drains HER to the point where she won’t be able to help others who might be in need. Ergo, in situations like this, she sticks to hoarding her stamina and letting kids heal their own reckless behavior. (She probably could do a lot more in her prime, but alas.)

She states that she knows Toshinori gave Izuku his power, but regardless of favoritism, Toshinori has to stop indulging Izuku. Toshinori scratches under his ear in embarrassment and says she’s right - he was sympathizing too much, so he hesitated. He then goes on to hesitantly ask her to keep it down while at least discussing One For All.

She huffs and turns away, mocking him with his ‘natural born hero’ and ‘symbol of piece’ titles. He goes on to explain (for audience benefit alone tbh) that while the staff of UA know about his true form and injury, only Recovery Girl, the principal, an old friend of his (who will later be revealed as Detective Tsukauchi), and Izuku know about his quirk. To everyone else, it’s a secret.

(We know from later on that this isn’t quite true - there are a few others who know - but I suppose that this is the ring of people who he interacts with at this point in time, which is… really fucking depressing.

Of course, Horikoshi might not have come up with either character beyond vague thoughts and outlines at this point, so I suppose he didn’t want to box himself in on a character design before he was sure they fit his needs. Gran probably was outlined vaguely at this point? But I think Nighteye might not have been created until around Kamino.)

Recovery Girl asks rhetorically whether that talk is just him resting on his laurels, then a bit more seriously asks whether it’s really that important that he be a natural born hero and the Symbol of Peace. We get another up-close shot of Toshinori’s intensity as he states that without him, superhuman society would fall to evil.

(A bit egotistical there, much? But I think it’s also a bit of the toxic mindset he’s had build up over the ages - that he’s alone in being able to hold things together, that there’s no one to fall back on, that he can’t afford to be ‘helped’ even as he keeps falling apart.)

Toshinori then goes on to explain that this is the responsibility that wielders of One For All must bear. Recovery Girl contemplates this quietly for a moment, then says that it’s then all the more important for Toshinori to learn how to guide Izuku properly.

We transition to after school… which does end up leaving me to wonder whether I was off about heroics being the last class of the day, but at the same time, I don’t see how the teachers expect the kids to be able to focus on academics after two hours of heroics training, not to mention that the kids do need time to digest lunch, so,,, eh. I’m going to presume that here it’s more that with the battle trials ending a bit early, there was time afterwards for discussion before the school day ended.

Anyways, Izuku is just trudging back to class, still in his damaged costume and wearing a sling for his right arm. He’s slouched over, thinking about how Aizawa-sensei is ‘really gonna let him have it’ - which says a lot about his expectations for teachers at this point. He opens the door to the classroom, and is surprised when Kirishima notices him and announces his return, as well as welcomes him back.

Izuku is quickly surrounded by several classmates (Kirishima, Mina, and Sato), all of whom are excited to talk to him, much to his confusion. Kirishima says that even without knowing what was being said, the battle was wild. Mina complements Izuku’s dodging (which makes sense now that I think about it - she does a lot of dance and incorporates it into her fighting, so she might have thought Izuku was similar? Maybe?) Sato says that everyone was pumped after the crazy first round.

Kirishima, Mina, Tsuyu, and Sato all then introduce themselves in order, with Kirishima saying that they were discussing battle training, Mina restating her admiration for Izuku’s dodging skills, Tsuyu that she just prefers to be called Tsuyu. Izuku is a bit overwhelmed. To the side, Tokoyami grumbles about them being noisy while sitting on the desk - much to Tenya’s concern as he demands Tokoyami get off of it. Someone else tells Tenya to not get bent out of shape.

The true crack ship - KamiChako. Which is immediately ruined when Ochako makes her way over to Izuku, noticing and worrying over his arm and whether he’d gotten it healed. Izuku says it wasn’t quite healed, since he was so worn out, and then he apologizes and says he has something to do. That something being rushing after Katsuki.

(Literally, that boy walks in, looks around, sees Katsuki isn’t there, and immediately goes ‘sorry I have to go immediately’. Like, I know this is a shounen, but at the same time…)

Izuku catches up to Katsuki on the way to the gate out of the grounds, and is, uh...

Not looking that great, captain. Those bags under his eyes have really seen some cultivation in the time since the battle trial.

Izuku’s internal thoughts note that where everyone else wanted to talk to him, Katsuki just clammed up and went home. Or maybe it’s Izuku’s memory of Toshinori recounting the aftermath of the class? But Toshinori left right at the end, so uh… I have no idea.

Anyways, Izuku catches up and gets his attention, drawing Katsuki’s shadowed stare (it’s not quite a glare? So yeah.) Izuku is looking down a bit, narration noting that he hasn’t even told his mom his secret as he states that he can’t say much, but that Katsuki should know this. Izuku thinks about Katsuki’s comments during the battle trial about tricking him, and then…

Well that was a face adventure Katsuki went through. It’s a really good thing he was also too distracted by his own existential angst to really think about Izuku’s words.

But to dig more deeply into this, we can start from the top - literally. Starting at all that space at the top, and then the empty panel (asides from the two) where Izuku states he got his quirk from someone else. It really sort of gives a beat before such a weighty reveal, and more so how, in that moment, Izuku is only focused on Katsuki as he says it.

Izuku goes on to explain that he can’t say who it’s from, and that it’s a bit like a conversation out of a comic book, and that on top of that he can’t even really use it yet, so the borrowed power is pretty useless to him, which is why he tried to beat Katsuki without it… only to fail and be forced to rely on it. While this is happening, Katsuki’s expression goes from confusion/what the fuck towards outright pissed as Izuku rambles on, seemingly nonsensically from his point of view. Izuku states that he has a way to go, and then looks up and meets Katsuki’s gaze as he states that he’s going to make that power his own someday, and then overcome Katsuki with his own power.

This seems to derail Katsuki’s anger for a moment back towards shock - possibly for the sheer boldness and earnestness of the statement. Izuku’s a bit embarrassed at his rambling reveal, thinking that he’d just meant to tell Katsuki he hadn’t been tricking him, but, well.

Katsuki wobbles a bit in place, likely to keep himself from instinctively going after Izuku for being, well, Izuku. He repeats Izuku’s comment about borrowed power, then says he has no idea what Izuku’s talking about, but that Izuku is clearly determined to keep making a fool out of him. His anger boils back up as he grits out another swear, and then gets into how he lost to Izuku, and then if that weren’t enough, there was another student - Shouto - who he knows he can’t measure up to. He slaps a hand to his face, nails digging into his hair as he swears again and notes how ‘ponytail girl said it all’. He snaps his arms back down, swearing more, and demands a mostly rhetorical why from Izuku - likely in response to his fear of being able ot measure up to someone he had until then looked down on. Katsuki then declares through tears - and some repetition for emphasis - that from there on out he’s gonna beat everyone.

He then spins back around and starts to walk off, rubbing at the tears while telling Izuku to enjoy his win, since it won’t happen ever again. Izuku holds himself firm a bit longer, then sighs and seems to lose whatever energy he’d dredged up for that conversation - methinks it’s also a bit exasperated with Katsuki? I mean, I have to admit trying to have a serious convo with the kid has to be a struggle sometimes.

Incredible. Thanks, All Might. And I can’t help but cackle at Izuku swaying in the wind created with All Might rushing right past him to get to Katsuki, as well as that ‘ow!’ from Katsuki. All Might is latched onto Katsuki’s shoulder as he kind of greets the kid, with Katsuki looking about five seconds from turning around and biting the man in the arm like a semi-feral cat.

All Might is wheezing a bit in holding this form while rushing to catch up, starting to offer some advice - that Katsuki’s self-respect is important, and that he definitely has the makings of a pro, just so long as he-

Katsuki cuts him off by telling him to get off, since he can’t walk. He then goes on to say that it’s without question that he’ll be a hero who surpasses even All Might. All Might is surprised at that rebound, taking his hand off while thinking that the usual egomaniac is back. All Might mutters about how being a teacher is tough while watching Katsuki stalk off.

Izuku’s narration notes that Katsuki’s fuse had been lit, but his own goals hadn’t changed - that he would keep chasing after him. While he’s staring dramatically after his childhood friend, All Might starts asking what he said to Katsuki.

We have a last transition to a few days later, the narration noting that the class learned an important lesson that All Might had warned them about - about how they should fear the cleverest of villains. The scene is set in a different area, with the frontmost building being a bar. Someone is shown reading a newspaper article about All Might teaching at UA, as well as his temporary leave from his hero agency.

The person sets the newspaper down folded neatly, noting how All Might is a teacher now. The voice then goes a bit raspy (or maybe it’s a different speaker) as they wonder out loud about what would happen if villains killed the symbol of peace.

Whoo boy, what a first introduction to the main antagonist of the series.

It seems like he has all five fingers on the newspaper in those panels? But it might just be the weird angle that keeps us from seeing how careful he is to not do so, which might have given away his quirk before it gets shown in the next arc.

Also, hello misty character who definitely doesn’t have some deeper, tragic backstory we eventually learn about.

About those hands… you know, I know what the ‘official’ story behind them ends up being, but like, they all look the same, so I wonder if those are just… random hands from his victims over the years. ...while the design is suitably disconcerning, it also makes sense that Hori would eventually chuck them aside thanks to how much extra drawing and detail they all need.

Anyways, that closes out the chapter and the opening arcs, so again, open for any sort of thoughts/questions all of you have. I should have my own out in the next few days, I think.

#readthrough #chapter 11 #opening arcs #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #yagi toshinori #recovery girl #shigaraki tomura #kirishima eijirou #ashido mina #uraraka ochako #izuku really be like 'sorry i have to go immediate' when his fated rival wasn't there for him to talk to #what a legend #what a way to end an arc and get into a new one #what tonal whiplashes all around #damn these were interesting chapters to introduce the series with

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thephantomofthe-internet · 5 years ago

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A Fool for Love| Steve Harrington x Reader

MASTERLIST

Words: 7,354 OOF

Warnings: swearing, Shakespearean English, general fluff

Author’s Note: So I got inspired by @jxnehxpper‘s headcanon on Steve being a secret theatre lover and set to giving us what we deserve-Steve being a little theatre kid. And then I told her about it. And then I reread it. And now I’m doubtful of what this even is and how long it is. Good luck I guess

Tag List: @marvelslut16 @shinydixon @jxnehxpper

The laces were too tight. You couldn’t breathe. You were going to faint once you got up there. And your sleeves were too tight. You were already sweating through the long sleeves. Damn your overconfidence and crappy old patterns. And damn the seventies for making their bodices too tight and tan suede lacing so pretty over rouge coloured linen. And your shoes were too loose; they were going to fall off the second you took a step. Stupid Tammy Thompson and her stupid wide feet. You weren’t even supposed to be here.

Mrs. Blackburn loved to plan out a big spring show without thinking about how many students would be there on auditions. She chose these bombastic plays without thinking about who was actually going to be there. The drama club was made up of about ten members, who’d all be there on audition day, and that was usually it. And Mrs. Blackburn would throw a fit about it to you, her trusted right hand man with a plan. Then she’d spend her classes kissing ass to get students to come out for promised roles after stroking their egos enough to get them to bother with extracurricular theatre. Most kids took the class for an easy A, a quick passing grade that would boost their GPAs without making them want to claw their eyes out. Only a certain type of student would go through with this sort of embarrassment.

So when Mrs. Blackburn announced the spring show to be an abridged version of Twelfth Night, a choice you thought was decent enough. Cutting down the b-plot with Malvolio and the servants made the story run smoother and cut a metric crap ton of roles. Unfortunately, Mrs. Blackburn didn’t have the heart to cut the fool, which meant that she needed another guy to be in the show. And your little crew of nerds only had two boys. If only cross dressing was something she deigned to allow, alas Mrs. Blackburn believed firmly in women playing women and men playing men, which made it even harder to cast anything. It was ironic, knowing the actual plot of the play she’d chosen. Still, now she had a little challenge to hum and ha over for a month before casting the thing.

It was during this casting point that you heard quite possibly the worst idea you’d ever heard.

You often ate lunch in Mrs. Blackburn’s classroom. The entire drama club did. It was a nice, quiet place where no screaming teens or bullies could attack a boy for trotting around in a kilt from costume cupboard and kick a girl for her looks if they didn’t conform to what was considered pretty by the rest of the school. A hodgepodge of personalities grew in there like bacteria. Usually, there shining saviour would eat in the teacher’s lounge with the rest of the staff, but as shows got closer, she’d make sporadic appearances.

“Y/N!” the door slammed open, Mrs. Blackburn standing in the doorway, her wild red curls bouncing wildly around her tiny face, her thin pointed glasses slipping off her nose. “I’ve done it!”

“You’ve done what?” you looked up from your sack lunch. Mrs. Blackburn looked a mess. Her olive green paisley skirt was stained with coffee and her raggedy cream blouse was flashing her bra to the world. She looked as if she’d gotten dressed in her donation bag. You had a sort of love-hate relationship with the woman. She was like a second mother to you, which meant that you loved her unconditionally but hated her in the moment.

“I’ve found us a diamond in the rough,” she marched over to the desk. As always, you’d taken over the teacher’s desk. You were the only person she trusted to sit there with her unmarked tests and unopened lipsticks gifted to her by Lisa Gardner’s Avon selling mother. Her hands slapped the fake wood “I’ve found our Duke Orsino.”

You watched from behind her as both Gordon Fisher and Dale Michaels deflated behind you. The only boys in the club would kill for a leading role. They shouldn’t have to kill, there were only two of them; there shouldn’t be a fight at all. But Mrs. Blackburn liked to do a bit of stunt casting within the Hawkins High School student body.

“No one has been chosen yet!” you turned you attention directly to them. Of course, that was a blatant lie. Both you and Mrs. Blackburn already had pretty much the entire show cast before auditions had even been announced. Dale would play the jester, who Mrs. Blackburn had flagrantly rewritten as a sort of narrator, believing herself capable of rewriting Shakespeare, and Gordon would play Sebastian. He was fundamentally much more attractive than Dale, and much less mockable. Dale was the kid hiding in the classroom in a kilt from Tommy H, which he was wearing because he ripped his pants and didn’t want to walk around with his stained tighty whities.

You turned your attention back to Mrs. Blackburn, a small excited smile spreading across your face. “Who is it?” you asked.

“Oh he’s simply marvellous! He’s in our afternoon class, a Mr. Harrington!” Mrs. Blackburn had a dreamy grin spread across her face, her hands linked together in front of her chest.

Your smile dropped “Steve? Really?” This had to be a joke. Steve was in your drama class so to speak, he was never there. He skipped every class and only showed up for tests and to do graded performances. And his performances were shit. He was never off script and even with the script in front of his face he couldn’t keep the lines straight. He was useless!

“Oh yes yes! We had a very interesting conversation just a few moments ago and he’s very intrigued by our production and I think that he’ll make an interesting, dynamic choice for the role!” Mrs. Blackburn mused, her arms floating around as she spoke as if she was performing Swan Lake instead of properly explaining her decision.

“So, he’s coming into audition?” you asked slowly, leaning on your elbows. Mrs. Blackburn nodded. That was a surprise. The great king of Hawkins high bothering to join the unwashed, artistic masses? That was a shock. You expected him to just demand the role to be his. Not that you thought he’d read the play. You doubted he’d even skimmed the Cliff’s Notes.

“Yes, I’ve already signed him up. By the looks of it, if all the auditions go well we’ll have a full cast without call backs.” She turned her attention to the cowering masses behind her, all staring up in awe. Well, all except Robin Buckley. She wasn’t really a part of the collective though; she was just there for Tammy Thompson.

“Alright, then I can’t wait to see what he does…” you replied with a small smirk. Everyone else in the room was thinking the same thing: Steve Harrington was going to choke. The second Mrs. Blackburn left the room, everyone began their muttering and musing. The only person who seemed to sympathize with the kid was Tammy, who kept whining about poor, poor Steve and how he was going to make a fool of himself. Everyone had seen Steve’s failings with performance, most of the room either spent their free period in your drama class or had taken drama with him in freshman year. His misgivings were known throughout the little crew, even Robin seemed to understand that the kid just wasn’t talented.

And when auditions rolled around, you except the worst. As always, you were playing stage manager slash costumer for the production, your chosen role, and you sat at the back of the classroom with a clipboard and red pen in hand. You had the audition list copied on a few sheets of paper with the role presumed to fit them best. You’d seen most of the room audition a million times before. Both you and Mrs. Blackburn had a clear idea of what was going to happen. And, for the most part, it all fell into place. Tammy, despite her pleas to be Viola, was much more suited to the prissy and rich Olivia; Dale actually wanted to be the fool, which made your life easier, now you wouldn’t have to crush him dreams; Heather Holloway would happily play Viola, which you were more than happy to give her; and sweet little Nicole Chandler would play the nursemaid Maria.

Then, there was Steve Harrington and Gordon Fisher. Gordon had come in and bashed all of your notions of him being fabulously brash and boisterous Sebastian by auditioning instead for the powerful and yet underwhelming awkward Duke Orsino. And he was great! He was better than great!

And then there was Steve. He was terrible. Just plain awful. He didn’t look up once from the crumpled photocopied pages he held in his fist and he didn’t seem to know what he was saying. No, scratch that he had no idea what he was saying. He wasn’t so much playing a character but instead just trying to pronounce the words on the page and string them together in complete sentences. It was painful. But, to Mrs. Blackburn, it was perfect. She clapped when he finished, smiling far too wide as she egged him on. She kicked you under the table to follow suit and you added in a few slow claps. With a hefty dose of praise hefted on him like whipped cream, she sent Steve off and turned her attention to you.

“He’s perfect,” she said. You almost expected her to let out a dreamy sigh, like a love struck teenager instead of a married middle aged woman. She just looked so happy about the whole thing. You took a bit of secret joy in popping her bubble.

“Gordon was much better for the part.” You slipped your pen behind your ear and crossed your arms over your chest. Mrs. Blackburn’s thin mouth dropped open into a tiny ‘o’, only really defined by her cherry red lipstick.

“What?” she cried before composing herself “No, no Gordon was fine, he’ll make a fabulous Sebastian, but Steve is what I want for the Duke.”

“Are you sure I mean-” You couldn’t help but try to argue the point. You knew in your heart that the little shows you helped put on weren’t award worthy by any means but you still took great care in making them as good as possible, if only as a self-serving move to make them watchable from the booth.

Mrs. Blackburn shook her head, her tiny mouth pulling into a stern frown. “The decision is made. You cannot change my mind, Y/N.” she said flippantly, turning away from her to collect her papers. “We’ll have the list up by Monday, yes?”

You swallowed and nodded once. Mrs. Blackburn swept out of the room, her silver bracelets clattering together as she left. Once the door shut, you let out a heavy sigh and put away your clipboard. You’d type up the temporary list and deal with your temperamental director. First, you had to find Steve.

You found him hunched over at his locker. If you didn’t know him better, you’d say that he was ashamed. But he was too much of a cocky shit to ever feel ashamed of his own showboating. And what you just saw was showboating. There was no other way to explain it. He didn’t care about the show, or the play, he only cared about himself and showing off.

You tapped him hard on the shoulder. Steve turned his head. He wasn’t certain of your name but he recognized you from only a few minutes prior. He wanted to disappear. He’d just made a complete fool of himself and now had to atone to his butchering of words he didn’t quite get.

“Look, I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but if you’re just signing onto this thing to fuck around and make fun of people, I suggest you back the fuck down. Fisher and Michaels might stand down to your asshole buddies but I won’t.” you sneered, planting your hands on your hips and straightening your back to reach your fullest height. You had never been in a fight before, at least not one that wasn’t staged and within a classroom setting, but you’d stand up for those kids. Anyone who volunteered themselves for theatrical productions were doing something vulnerable, and vulnerability wasn’t something that could be taught or captured in a bottle, it was something given that should be protected. And you vowed to protect them from someone with ill will, if only to make your show better.

“Look,” Steve swallowed hard, looking away from you. Your gaze was searing into him and he was already embarrassed as is. He didn’t think he could blush any harder. “I’m not bullshitting. Mrs. Blackburn offered and I said yes, that’s all. No buddy’s gonna find out about this.”

You watched him squirm like a worm on a hook. He looked genuine. His eyes spoke more volumes than his words. You nodded, letting out a sharp breath through your nose. “Alright…” you turned on your heel and walked off without a goodbye to the thoroughly embarrassed boy.

Once the work started, it was a wash of a production. You wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Tammy was over the moon that Steve Harrington was joining them to play pretend and thrilled to explain to him that his character was in love with hers. He seemed horrified by the idea but dutifully played along. Gordon was beyond pissed, having to watch Steve stumble through lines and direction given by Mrs. Blackburn while he waited for his shot to do any acting at all. Robin was pissed too. Mrs. Blackburn had roped her into the production to do a few flute solos in pivotal scenes, which meant her having to watch the scenes she’d be playing in and you’d have to make her a little costume to wear. You’d been given your budget and some ancient patterns from Mrs. Blackburn’s collection, a 1970s renaissance faire dress pattern that didn’t fit in at all with the period. You bit back complaints about how little money you had to make anything nice.

You silently thanked god for Heather Holloway and her rich parents. They would pay to have her costumes done separately from your handiwork and all you’d have to do was make some decent things for the rest of the cast. You’d be sewing until your fingers bled. You were just thankful that you had made patterns for men’s pants in the same style of the dresses. You wouldn’t have to draft different sizes off a thin parchment pattern for them. Nicole, Tammy, and Heather were all around the same size so you’d only need to two different sizes of pattern. The project would be fairly simple.

Which meant that Mrs. Blackburn had to throw a wrench in everything.

She asked you to speak with her after your afternoon class one month into rehearsals. You stood awkwardly in front of her desk, your trapper keeper clutched tight to your chest, a few fingers bandaged from pricks and pokes from rouge pins and needles. You’d spent the night before alternating between putting blocking notes into your script and hemming the skirt of Tammy Thompson’s pale yellow dress. You’d bought a very pretty pale yellow brocade fabric with thin gold laurel patterns over the material and it was heavier than expected but it looked rightfully rich enough for a duchess to wear.

“Now, I might have overestimated Mr. Harrington’s acting abilities,” she said quietly, looking between you and the door. Steve was the first out of the room when the bell rang, he wasn’t lurking by the door waiting to hear you shit talk him. “He’s not performing well.”

“Well yes, I tried to tell you that when we auditioned him.” You replied, trying to hold back an eye roll.

“There’s no need to be bitter, he’s salvageable.” Mrs. Blackburn turned her attention to erasing the board. She had a freshman year drama class after this and the smelly youths would burst through the door at any moment. “What we’ll do is simply give him some extra help, less time working with the others and have him focus on really working on his lines. He’s not off book anyway.”

You nodded “So, what do you need me to do here?” Mrs. Blackburn reached into her desk and pulled out her pads of excused late slips, pulling out a pen and scribbling out your student information.

“Well, I can’t very well stop blocking the performance and we need to start heading over to the theatre soon. So you’ll handle helping Mr. Harrington from here on out.” She said nonchalantly. Her hoard her stinky children burst into the room, taking over the class with sound and fury, signifying nothing but an assault on your eardrums.

“So, and just for clarification here, you want me to make all the costume, stage manage the production, and teach Steve his lines?” you asked, taking the green slip she dangled out in front of you.

“Well yes of course that’s what you signed on to do and we always come through on what we choose to do.” Mrs. Blackburn turned her attention to her classroom, clapping twice to grab their attention. You knew that this was your cue to leave and you slinked away with your tail betwixt your legs, put back in your place by the older woman. You could’ve screamed. Teaching lines was not what you signed up for. Working with Steve was not what you signed up for. You signed on for making costumes and stage managing. Steve was not a part of the equation. He wasn’t even associated with the equation. He was a whole separate equation that you weren’t supposed to be tasked with solving.

And yet when Mrs. Blackburn announced that the rest of the cast would be heading to the theatre and you’d be staying behind with Steve to run lines, you didn’t complain. Steve did, he wanted to see the theatre, but you stayed silent, waving them goodbye as they left the cramped classroom. You and Steve stared at each other for a moment, silent and awkward, before you reached down and picked up the paper grocery bag you’d brought along with you and pulled out the pretty rouge pink linen you’d bought to make Nicole’s dress. You lay it flat on the desks and unfolded your newspaper patterns.

“Alright, sit.” You pointed to the desk in front of you and opened your patterning kit, pulling out your white tailor’s chalk and sewing scissors. Steve obeyed, tucking himself into the desk. You looked up with a forced smile “Alright, this is how we’re doing to do this. You are going to perform the lines without your script. When you need a line, say line and I’ll give it to you. Repeat it and then start again from the top. We’ll do that until you can say the whole thing without stuttering or calling line. Got it?”

Steve swallowed hard “Got it.”

“Alright, we’ll start from the first scene.” You pulled out your copy of the abridged play. Steve looked at you for a moment, confused and you summoned him to begin.

He took a heaving breath and you began pinning your pattern pieces to the material. “If music be the food of love, play on, give me…” Steve began, already stuttering. He went silent before shamefully asking “Line?”

You looked up with a raised eyebrow. You were hoping for at least a few lines to be known before he needed help. Mrs. Blackburn underestimated how little he knew. “Give me excess of it; that, surfeiting the appetite may sicken, and so die…that strain again!” you read out, monotone before turning your attention to Steve “Start again.”

He spouted out the dialogue, just a nervous as before and stuttering all the while. You managed to get through pinning the skirt piece down before he called line again. He only got through a line of dialogue past your last prompting. Steve looked utterly defeated and small in his seat. “I can’t think like this…” he muttered.

“The stand up. Or pace. Whatever you need to do. Just get through the speech here,” you said with a sigh “Do you need the line?” Steve nodded sadly and you read out the next line and Steve started again.

“If music be the food of love; play on, give me excess of it; that, surfeiting, the appetite may sicken and so die…that strain again! It had a dying fall: o’ it came o’er my ear like the sweet south that breathes upon a bank of violets; stealing odour…enough, no more!” he took a heaving breath. He was halfway across the room now and staring at the wall. You had turned your attention to him and were watching almost in awe. He knew the lines. He knew the whole speech. When he finished, he looked to you as if for the next line. You didn’t give it, instead you stepped out from the desk.

“You know the lines…” you breathed. It wasn’t a good performance, but he was off book. He was putting in work. You were impressed. Surprised, but impressed.

“When I’m walking around the room I do…” Steve chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck with a small smile.

“But you have no idea what you’re saying…” you breathed, watching as Steve deflated, giving a small nod.

“Why can’t he just write what he means, I get it’s supposed to be like poetry or whatever, but it makes no sense.” He pushed himself up onto the desk, crossing his legs under him.

“It helps to think about the character as a whole. What do you know about the duke?” you asked, taking a step back to approach the scene with script in hand.

“I mean…he’s a duke, which is an important person with a lot of people who work under him, and he’s in love with Olivia, who’s a rich duchess,” he counted them off with his fingers, chewing on his lower lip as he thought.

“Exactly!” you stopped him mid-sentence, pointing excitedly “He’s in love with Olivia and Olivia doesn’t love him back, right?”

“Right?” he had a right to be confused; Mrs. Blackburn had given Tammy the note to stop playing Olivia so moony eyed over Orsino for weeks now. She hadn’t stopped, despite swearing up and down that she wasn’t trying.

“She doesn’t, and so when he’s talking about love and music, do you think he’s happy to hear the music or not?” you asked.

“I mean…I guess yes and no?” you raised an eyebrow at him. That wasn’t the exact answer you expected. He continued “Cause he’s love sick, and being love sick is fun and terrible at the same time. He talks about being sick in the speech.”

You nodded “Yes! And when he says that he wants to surfeit, that means to like overdose. He wants to die from all the love. He’s overwhelmed by it all.” Steve’s smile grew. For the first time, he felt like he was getting it now. When you explained it, the scene made sense.

You reached for your scissors and picked up the material, taking a deep breath before making the first cut in the fabric. “Alright, now I want you to take all that stuff I told you and try to put it on the words.” You said, gesturing with your finger for him to start again.

And he did. He did the scene over and over again, pacing the room while trying to feel different things. It was easy to be overwhelmed-he was overwhelmed. Everything he was doing overwhelmed him. It didn’t help that you were watching him. He didn’t like being watched. And you kept smiling at some parts and frowning at others. He wanted you to smile all the way through it. That meant that it was good, that he was doing good. And he liked your smile. This was the first time he’d seen it directed at him.

“Alright,” you stopped him mid sentence, holding out a flat palm out “Enough pacing. The blocking has you seat in like this big chair.” You stepped out from behind the desks and pulled out a chair, placing it in the centre of the room. “Sit down, we’re going to put it altogether.”

Steve gingerly sat in the chair, positioning himself the way Mrs. Blackburn had instructed with his legs splayed wide and his right elbow propped on his knee, holding his head up. With a heavy breath he started again “If music be the food of love, play on…fuck!” you looked up from your work curiously “I forgot the line already! I keep thinking about the words and the meaning and the emotions and the meter-I can’t do it all.”

You nodded, pulling the pins out of the pattern and marking the pieces numerically. “Tap your foot to the beat of the words, one less thing to think about.” You said, capping the pin box. “Do it one more time and then we’re done. They’re finishing up at the theatre now, we have to vacate ASAP.”

Steve tried your trick. It worked. He was shocked. You knew so much about this stuff. He didn’t know anything about any of this. He felt like a doofus. But you helped him through. He thought it was a onetime thing, but every rehearsal you’d take him aside and work on the words. Mrs. Blackburn had cut the thing down to about two acts, still longer than most parents wanted to sit through, but better than five acts and two intermissions. He didn’t know how he was going to do this at all. Still, he felt safe with you watching. He could perform to you instead of the audience.

For your part, you liked working with Steve. You didn’t think that you would, but he was pretty self sufficient with the piece after you gave him your Cliff’s Notes version of the text to help him understand the scenes he had to do and the context of the play as a whole. And he was funny. You didn’t know that he was funny. And he hated Tammy. Anyone who hated Tammy was a friend of yours. She was brutally annoying in rehearsals and at this point was refusing to kiss Gordon. And poor Gordon was more than over having Steve there, he swore that the guy was doing something to distract Tammy. Of course he was, he was existing in her world for the first time, but you were quick to defend him, because he was trying. It wasn’t his fault that Tammy couldn’t keep it in her pants or that Heather was more focused on her costumes than her performance. Still, nobody understood why he was there.

Sat with Steve at the back of the Hawkins Community Playhouse, you decided to ask him. “Hey,” you asked quietly. Gordon and Tammy were doing their little love scene on the stage below and Mrs. Blackburn would kill you if she could hear you talking. “Can I ask you something?” Steve nodded, looking up from his script.

“Why are you doing this show?” Steve frowned and you backtracked quickly “I mean, this isn’t your bag I just was curious…”

“Honestly?” Steve asked. You gave a half nod, trying not to appear too curious. “Mrs. Blackburn promised me that if I did this, she’d pass me for the year and that I can skip out on the final.” Your eyes blew wide. You were pissed. Not because he was only doing the show for a decent grade, but because you still had to prepare a monologue performance to perform for your final on top of all this work.

“That bitch…” you murmured “I wanna skip out on the final!”

Steve laughed “Ask! She was only gonna pass me, I haggled for the final.”

“She’d never. She wants to work me to death, I swear.” You chuckled darkly. You flipped up the tan suede Bodice you built, the lace dangling loosely from the eyelets. It looked good. It would look better on Nicole, for now it would have to look good on the floor.

Steve was called up to the stage and you returned to Mrs. Blackburn’s side, watching the ending go down, as Viola’s true nature is revealed and Sebastian is reunited with his sister. It was a messy scene, with the Malvolio plotline cut there wasn’t a scheme to reveal or a villain to unmask, so the scene became instead a bit of a wedding. You still wished you’d done A Midsummer’s Night’s Dream, you would’ve actually auditioned for that show. Still, Twelfth Night was turning into a half decent show. You hadn’t expected Steve to bring anything, but he played the duke like a sort of well meaning dunce, a loveable yet hopeless fool. He just seemed to have fun, especially when Nicole and Dale were acting silly behind him. He just seemed to have fun with them, unlike Tammy and Heather who had no interest in playing and seemed to be fighting for who could look the most bored. It had been a long day, it was nearly eight o’clock at night and Mrs. Blackburn had sent her husband to go pick up pizza for the cast an hour ago. Everyone was exhausted, but you were supposed to do a full fitting for the cast after they were done.

Thankfully, Mrs. Blackburn ended the torture. “Alright,” she clapped once, calling an end to the scene “Let’s call it quits there. Y/N has brought all the costumes for the show with her today, let’s have a try on and then we’ll take our pizza to go. Sound good?” the whole room let out an exhausted half cheer and you picked up the massive duffel bag you’d brought from home.

“I hope everyone remembered their shoes,” you said, pulling out the first hanger, holding the intense yellow brocade with the golden Bodice for Tammy to take. “Heather, your stuff is here, right?” Heather scoffed, taking the three off the stage and picking up her own bag. You handed Nicole her dress and passed out the brown faux burlap pants and white puffy shirts. You’d made separate vests for each character-Steve’s a rich navy blue, Dale’s a jaunty royal purple with a matching jester cap from the prop closet, and Gordon a dull olive green. Their colours would have to do to differentiate them to the audience. Everyone left to do their try on and when they returned you were transported to the ren faire.

You stepped off the stage, joining Mrs. Blackburn in the fifth row. You smiled; the brocade looked lovely under the lights, as did the silver buttons you’d put on Steve’s vest. It was a bit wide. “Alright, Tammy you’re good to change, Steve stay put.” You jumped back onto the stage, stepping behind him. Up close, it was hard to look at him. He was too attractive. You were stunned that any man could look sexy in a stupid puffy shirt, but there Steve was, ruining your work relationship with him.

“Stay still, I’m putting pins in your vest, I don’t want to poke you.” You whispered, pulling a couple pins from your cushion. You felt Steve suck in a deep breath as your fingers grazed his lower back, tingles running up his spine. You pulled the material in a bit, pinning it flat. You noted that you’d have to add a couple darts to each side to make it fit better. It only took a few moments, but when you came back around to look over Steve he looked as if he might faint. “Steve,” he looked to you with blown out eyes “Breathe.” He nodded twice and you stepped off the stage. It was only a week until performances. He must have been scared shitless.

Steve was scared shitless. Of you. He didn’t know how to act when you were watching him. Well, he knew how to act, you’d trained him to play Orsino, but he didn’t know how Steve fit into your relationship. All he knew was that when he had to kiss Heather at the end of the show, he only had you on his mind. He couldn’t even look at you when it was over, he felt like he’d cheated on you. Which was insane, but the feeling stuck in his gut.

When the day of performances came around, Steve was shaken. He didn’t know what to do with himself. He hadn’t told any of his friends about what he was doing and yet word had gone around the school. All of his friends were coming opening night, he swore with pitchforks and rotten fruit to throw. When he got the theatre at four o’clock that afternoon, however, the whole cast was in a tizzy.

Heather was an hour late. And, according to Nicole, she wasn’t coming. “Her father’s hosting a benefit at the Carmel Country Club tonight, there’s no way that she’s showing.” She moaned. Mrs. Blackburn was already in the phone book, looking up the number of the club. She left to make a call, promising that Heather would never do such a thing.

Tammy was crying off her makeup in the corner, with Robin consoling her while trying to not get blackened tears on her white shirt. “She’s going to ruin my show! She’s ruining it!” she sobbed.

You were stood in the corner, unsure where to place yourself. Luckily, Mrs. Blackburn returned quickly. “I’ve just spoken to Heather,” she announced. The room fell into a hush.

“And?” you asked, looking up from the hot rollers you were putting in Nicole’s hair.

“And she’s not coming. She told me about this and I said it was okay. I guess I forgot.” Mrs. Blackburn replied. You knew that was bullshit, but you held your tongue.

“What’re we going to do???” Tammy cried out. That sent the room into an uproar, everyone talking over one another. Steve stayed silent. In truth, he was a bit glad to be rid of Heather. Maybe they wouldn’t have to perform.

“Now, now as we know in the theatre the show must go on!” Mrs. Blackburn cried. “Y/N, as stage manager, has been learning the blocking and pacing for the show. She will go on as Viola and I will make a speech before we go on! It’s all we can do!”

Everyone turned to look at you. You turned your attention to Mrs. Blackburn, walking over to her and whispering in her ear. “If I do this, I don’t have to do the final. You grade on this.” She looked you over and then turned once. You turned to the cast and sighed softly, nodding “The show will go on.” You shrugged, heaving up your trapper keeper.

“She doesn’t look right. She doesn’t have a costume.” Tammy whined.

“I will go to the school and get what we have left. I’m sure we have a pair of trousers and a puffed shirt for her to wear.” Mrs. Blackburn grabbed her purse off the makeup counter “Girls, work your magic on her.”

You put the last roller in Nicole’s hair and she grabbed your arm, pulling her into the chair next to her. “Grab that green skirt from last year!” Nicole called after her teacher “You’re gonna wear this dress for the opening. I’ll wear the skirt and whatever else she brings back, now let’s make you Viola.”

You were poked and prodded and burned until you were as close to looking like Heather as you were going to get. Then, you were stuffed into Nicole’s dress. Thankfully, Mrs. Blackburn had found two leftover puffy white shirts and a bodice, and the decision was made that you’d wear the rouge dress and she’d wear the green skirt from last year. It was a nice enough gesture, as was Tammy being forced to give up her extra pair of character shoes, which she did begrudgingly at the behest of Robin.

And then, you were stood offstage. And you were terrified. You’d never done this before. In your four years of stage managing, no one had ever called out of a performance, you’d never had to take over a role last minute. Your mind kept focusing on the discomfort of the costume. Nicole had tied your bodice too tight. Tammy’s shoes were too big. The skirt was too long. You were too wrong for this. You wanted to run. And then, the lights came up on Steve. Your breath caught in your throat as he spoke the opening lines so well and Robin began her first flute solo. Steve was doing wonderfully. With his left foot tapping lightly on the wooden stage floor, he knew what he was saying, even with distraction surrounding him. Internally, he felt as close to someone else as he’d ever felt in his life. Steve didn’t like that you weren’t in the audience to watch him, but he couldn’t see anyone with the lights on anyway. The audience clapped as he finished his scene and left with Dale, the lights going out fully as Robin cleared her chair and music stand and Gordon carried off the throne. Steve reached out and squeeze your shoulder with a kind smile.

“You have this,” he said softly. You heaved out a breath and stepped on the stage. You went right to the centre and right up to the edge, sitting down so your legs dangled off. You had no idea how Heather did this. You were too close to the audience. As the lights came up, you looked down at the lines in front of you. Dale stepped onto the stage in a sailor’s cap. He really had to play everyone in this stupid show. He nodded to you with a smile.

“What…” you voice came out in a whisper. No one could hear you. You took a breath, closing your eyes before trying again. “What country, friends, is this?” you asked loudly.

Dale’s smile grew. The scene was actually happening. “This is Illyria, lady.” He said, doing his best to sound like an old man.

The first scene was bumpy. Dale wanted to show off a bit and make the audience laugh, even though the scene was an info dump, which meant that you could just read the lines back to him and follow the blocking. You were more comfortable moving than you were speaking. But it got easier. Once you were dressed as Ceserio and working with Steve, things went smoother. You knew those scenes very well, the lines were almost memorized on your part from playing scene partner to him. Steve was fun to work with, he constantly made you smile.

It wasn’t hard for you to pretend to be in love with Steve. You felt like you were. Well, maybe not love. But like. Like a whole lot. And you were sure that he liked you to. Or maybe he was just that good of an actor.

The show went so fast. It was refreshing. Sat in the booth, it was a slog to get through, but onstage it went quick. You were nervous over the ending. You knew Heather’s last scene was a kiss with Steve. It wasn’t the passionate, intense kiss that Tammy and Gordon would do a scene before, but it was still a kiss. No matter how he felt about you, this was going to change your friendship forever.

You joined the cast last on stage, the who’s who of the plot being broken down, Steve was supposed to be mad when you came onstage, but he smiled like he’d seen what heaven looked like. You smiled up at Steve as the changed scene began, cutting the duel that leads the group into their explanations of the mix ups. Mrs. Blackwell hadn’t had the heart to cut a bit of Viola’s dialogue, so it lead the group into the explanations instead.

“After him I love, more than I love these eyes, more than my life, more by all the mores than e’er I shall love my wife.” You had no direction for what to do with the line. Heather had said it dramatically towards the audience. You turned your attention to Steve, caressing his face with your thumb. It was greedy, you were using the scene to get a bit of affection from the boy. You knew you shouldn’t, but you couldn’t help it. Steve seemed bewildered but happy, he fit the moment perfectly.

The scene continued as planned, with all the reveals shown to the characters and couples happily coupled off. Sebastian and Olivia were revealed to be married and that all was okay between Viola and Olivia once her gender was revealed.

Steve turned to you, smiling ear to ear “Boy, thou hast said to me a thousand times thou never shouldst love woman like me.” He took your hands in his squeezing them tight.

“And all those sayings will I over-swear, and all those swearing keep me as true in soul as doth orbed continent the fire that severs day from night.” You replied, matching his giddy grin. The kiss was coming soon, he had one more line and then he’d plant one on you.

“Give me thy hand,” you both looked down at your still clasped together hands. The audience chuckled. Steve pressed on “And let me see thee in thy woman’s weeds.” You and Nicole rushed offstage and quickly changed you into the dress again. You were all butterflies and pins and needles, shaking in your loose heels. Nicole brushed out your skirt and smiled, escorting you back onstage.

The audience clapped politely on your return, you tried your best to smile although was hard to breath with Steve looking at you like that. He scooped you up in his arms and kissed you quickly before you had a moment to react. You swore that he had a line before this happened but you didn’t care. Your script was out of your hands anyway, he’d knocked it out of your hands when he lifted you off the ground. You swore you were flying.

And then you were on the ground. Steve cleared his throat. He was blushing madly. He remembered his line. He turned to Tammy, who was holding back a laugh before turning back to you.

“Cesario, come! For so you shall be, while you are a man; but, when in other habits you are seen, Orsino’s mistress and his fancy’s queen.” He announced, grabbing your hand and sweeping you off the stage, Gordon and Tammy in close pursuit. Dale and Nicole still had a scene, which Mrs. Blackburn had changed for them to share. You weren’t paying attention to them though.

“Nice work,” Steve breathed, squeezing your hand in his.

“You surprised the hell outta me,” you chuckled “Made me lose my script.”

“You look really pretty like this,” Steve said. You looked at him carefully. He was sweaty and shy, his eye barely met yours.

You smiled “Thank you, you look good in cheap period costumes.” You knocked your hip into his, making him stumble just a bit. He grabbed your hip, pulling them parallel to his.

“Yeah?” he asked, bring his left hand to grab your chin.

You smiled “Oh yeah, definitely,” you wrapped an arm around his neck, pulling him down to kiss you again as Tammy and Gordon ran to grab you for curtain call. You didn’t care. Looking into Steve’s eyes, you knew he wasn’t a good enough actor to fake the way he looked at you. And you swore the world went silent in that moment, nothing standing between you and the swirling stars and hearts in his eyes.

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