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tnystrk-exe · 4 years ago

Text

Estocolmo 3

Hannibal x Reader

Masterpost

First Chapter

Warnings: 18+ thigh riding, in a public setting, degration, cockwarming

Word count: 6k

Chapter Three

Maybe you hadn’t thought through about going to Hannibal’s dinner party. In the moment you had just missed the sound of his voice. His touch… Okay, you were motivated by other things than how much fun you would have at this little dinner party of his.

However you had to pull a lot of strings and work extra shifts, just so your bosses would even consider letting you off for a couple days. You were a valuable worker, one that would damage them to lose, but pettiness didn’t know any bounds. The stress was adding up. Still you trudged through it all. Not one to ever want to end up on Hannibal’s bad side.

You didn’t like making the perfect, polite ones angry. Loud anger you could handle. You were used to it. Quiet anger was just upsetting. He’d be upset you let him down, but he wouldn’t say it right. A soft sigh followed by a half meant it’s okay would probably be the most he’d give you. Disappointing him was a no go.

“I can’t wait for you to leave.”

“You’re so good at making me feel loved.”

“You know I do!” She laid back in your bed, arm’s comfortably behind her head, “But since you planned yourself a date. I did too.”

You grabbed clothes and threw them into a small duffel bag. “The chick from work?”

“God I wish. Can't work up the courage.”

“Don’t tell me you called up Reggie,” you laughed.

“Don’t tell me you got called up by Hannibal,” she mocked your voice. “Look! We’re a team! You can get dicked by someone that doesn’t deserve you. And I’ll romance a very pretty woman the entire weekend.”

“When is she getting here?”

“I’m shooting the text the second you’re out that door.”

You sighed, “You replace me so easily.”

“Oh baby,” she cooed, “Remember who’s leaving who.”

“A couple of days. You could be lonely for a few days.”

Alex walked you out. Stressing that you had to text her throughout your drive. It was only a three hour drive, but a lot could happen within that time.

All in all it wasn’t a bad trip. Monotonous without your usual partner in the passenger seat, but not bad. Your nerves bit at you. Hannibal’s social presence really was everything to him. Your head ran though countless ways you could mess up the night. Ultimately you wouldn’t, you knew that, but your brain sure did like to torture you with the idea.

“Everything will be fine,” you told yourself as you parked alongside the manor. Staying in the car for a moment you built yourself up. It was Hannibal. He knew about your home life. How you took your coffee. The things you’ve allowed him to do to you. Probably some understanding of things that he hadn’t done to you yet. A knock on your window pulled you out of your thoughts.

Opening the door you got out of the car.

“You weren’t thinking of running away, I hope,” Hannibal greeted.

“I wasn’t. Nerves,” you admitted. “It’s usually just the two of us, y’know…”

“Darling,” he scoffed, adjusting a piece of your hair, “I have no doubt in my mind that my companions wouldn’t adore you as much as I do.”

You moved to grab your bag, only for Hannibal to immediately take it from you. “You say that now, but that’s only because you’ve become accustomed to that certain charm I have at three in the morning after a night of studying. I’m not sure I can be as adorable to all of your friends.”

“Anyone that thinks otherwise has no place in my home.” Hannibal grabbed your hand in his own, leading you to the manor.

Once the front door closed, he wasted no time pulling you close. The kiss was long and rough. Both attempting to make up for lost time in the limited minutes you had. A soft moan from you made him press you against the door, the bag that had been in his hand long forgotten. His hand pressed lightly against your throat as he pushed a knee in between yours.

It was a long while before he pulled away. He rested his forehead against yours. “I’ve missed my favorite plaything,” He spoke into the shared air, “You’ve been away so long.”

“Your favorite?” You asked, looking at him dazed.

He smiled, mischief in his eyes. “I’d wager they couldn’t kiss you so well you’d look at them like they hung the stars after.”

“I do not!”

“Of course you don’t, darling.” He picked up your bag. “Come, we should start getting dressed.” You followed Hannibal up the stairs to his room. Apparently yours too, at least for the next couple of nights, since he emptied the contents of your bag into an empty dresser drawer. “You’re more than welcome to explore if you do get uncomfortable. I know meeting a sea of people can feel overwhelming.”

“I’m just afraid I’ll be out of place.”

“You’re exactly where I want you to be,” he disappeared into the walk-in closet, “The other’s are decent enough people. However, it makes sense that such divine beauty doesn’t fit in amongst commoners. I’d never dream of you finding yourself their equal.”

You walked over to examine the drawings he had hung on the wall next to his bed. “I’m not sure I’m worthy of such high thought.”

He came back, placing the suit and dress onto the bed. Standing behind you, he wrapped his arms around you, resting his head on your shoulder. “I really do mean it, beloved. You’re strong and intelligent. As much as I’d like to, you won’t allow me to pull strings and help you. That’s more than most of the crowd coming over tonight. They haven’t faced hardships like yourself and I. Don’t allow yourself to be treated less than and, please, tell me if anyone makes you feel that way.”

You turned your head, kissing his cheek. “I’m not sure I believe it, but I’m grateful for the thought.”

“I simply must make it my mission to prove it.” He inhaled deeply, “You’ve changed your perfume?”

“I liked the one you bought,” you said simply, getting out of his arms, you looked at the dress he had gotten you. The piece of fabric was easily the most expensive thing you owned now. It didn’t match his suit, but the two certainly complimented each other. “You really didn’t have to.”

“I want to,” he went to open another dresser drawer, pulling out a small box, “Consider it all a graduation present. You worked hard and deserve a reward for it. We didn’t get a chance to see one another before you left.”

“You’ve had these since then?” You asked.

“Of course. How could I resist an opportunity to find you a gift? And with Alex so graciously allowing me to buy you a dress, I figured tonight would be a wonderful time to give you your gift.” He opened the jewelry box.

“Hannibal,” you gasped quietly, the jewelry glimmered brightly, “It’s beautiful.” Usually you weren’t one for objects, but this was also the most thoughtful thing you’ve ever received. Hannibal had taken the small bits he knew of you and picked out the perfect pieces of jewelry for you. It was the feeling of being known so well that made it special.

“The second I saw this set I couldn’t help but think of my darling girl. Would you like me to put the necklace on you now?”

You quickly shook your head, “After I get dressed, please. I wouldn’t want to risk dirtying it while I’m getting ready.”

“In that case, I’ll show you where you can get ready.”

You grabbed the things you needed to make yourself look presentable and followed Hannibal to the bathroom. To your surprise he started to undress after he hung up his suit and your dress. You shrugged it off and set your stuff on the counter, you were more than comfortable with him and you and Alex had taken to doing similar in your cramped bathroom early mornings. The shower turned on while you took out your makeup. His humming filled the otherwise quiet room.

When you were pleased with how your makeup looked, you moved on to fussing with your hair. The shower shut off and your eyes wandered briefly in the mirror. You watched the show as he dried off his chest and followed the towel up as he dried his hair. He caught your eye, brow raised, you shrugged and sent a wink his way.

You got undressed, tossing your clothes in the hamper as you did. Walking over to the dress you felt the fabric between your fingers, studying the intricate pattern that was sown on to it.

“You don’t like it, darling?” Hannibal asked as he buttoned his shirt. “There’s another in the closet, but I was hopeful you’d like this one. You'd look stunning.”

“Admiring,” you stated simply, “Wait there’s another?”

“There’s a show, I’d like to see tomorrow. I figured it could be an outing for us.” He checked himself over before styling his hair. “This is ‘Making it worth my while’ as Alex said.”

“Han, you know better than to listen to Al.” You sighed, “I’m grateful, I honestly am. It’s just embarrassing. I really can’t give you anything in return.”

Hannibal came over to you, holding one of your hands in his. “They’re simple trinkets of my affection. In the end they all mean nothing. YN, you grace me with your presence and time, which is something that can never be repaid in form. I hold you dearly, your time is more than I deserve.”

You stood on the tips of your toes kissing him gently. There was all the time later for a rougher touch. Now you just wanted to feel him pressed close against yourself. A brief flick of thought asked if you really wanted this to just be a fleeting thing between friends. Pulling away, you gave him one final kiss to the side of his mouth.

“You’re allowed to give me one gift a month,” you teased, as you grabbed his tie and set to work on tying it for him. “You’re not my sugar daddy, as much as Alex wishes you were.”

“And you’re welcome to set as many rules as you’d like when it comes to this. However, what’s forcing me to follow them?” His hands grazed along your sides, “We both understand who makes the rules, don’t we little one?”

The part of you that had become accustomed to that particular tone, faltered slightly. “Hannibal, we’re not always in sessions,” you reminded him as you tightened the tie, “You can’t just have your way.”

“Why not?”

You shook your head, annoyed, “Or you can do what you’d like. It’s your wallet after all.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologized immediately, “I don’t want to offend you.”

You let it go, there was no use to fight over this. “It’s okay, you’re only teasing right?”

“May I please see you in the dress?” He asked, lightening the mood.

You turned, returning to the piece of elegant fabric. Carefully you pulled it on. He really was excellent when it came to fashion. The dress hugged the right places and accentuated everything wonderfully. Hannibal stepped behind you once again. Zipping the back for you, his fingers trailing up as he did. Carefully, he moved your hair to the side as he fixed the necklace in place. Dipping his head down, he kissed that spot on your neck he had quickly learned turned you to putty in his hands. You leaned against him, angling your neck to give him better access as a soft moan escaped. His teeth grazed gently against your neck, he seemed to toy with the idea of making a mark before backing away. As much as he’d enjoy to see it blossom, he knew you had many first impressions to make.

You whimpered at the loss of contact. Suddenly realizing just how much you had missed him.

“I know, little one,” he sighed, pressing a kiss on the side of your ear, “but we have a night to get through. After this, I belong to you. We will have all tomorrow for each other.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

The dinner party was beautifully done. Of course it was. Hannibal never spared any expense, let alone when he was trying to impress. He had introduced you to a couple people, they were nice enough, but you just couldn’t find a connection with them. You definitely steered clear of Bedelia. That woman was intimidating to a whole other degree. Definitely someone you could actually see Hannibal going after. You wondered why he didn’t.

An hour into the dinner party, you slipped away. He had said you could explore and honestly, without him you weren’t much for conversation. You had already gotten a snide look for saying you worked at a bar on nights, but they didn’t hold much interest for you either. All the conversations you had heard were meaningless droning. People constantly trying to one up another or bragging about something new they acquired or some business deal.

So it was safe to say no one noticed your absence. Well maybe one extremely observant man.

You found yourself in his library, taking residence in a nook next to a window. Hannibal’s sketch book in your lap as you looked over his drawings. Each drawing looked like he must have spent hours on it. You marveled at his talent, watching the range go from almost romantic to grouesome. Some things could be recognized as his take on art pieces, and landscapes, while others seemed to be originals. The originals were darker in nature, but you supposed it made sense. He saw death as something comforting and could be considered beautiful. Of course it would translate into his pieces.

The door opened, revealing the man that occupied your thoughts at the moment. “Is everything alright, darling? No one bothered you, I hope.”

You smiled up at him. “I’m fine. I just wanted a break, I’m getting a little bit of a headache.”

“Oh?” He touched your forehead with the back of his hand, “Are you feeling well?”

“I’ll go back in a moment,” you promised himas you brought his hand down to press a peck onto it, “Go enjoy your party.”

“They can keep themselves entertained for a while.” He took a seat next to you, pulling you to rest against him. “I could use a moment too.”

You couldn’t stave off the smile that played on your lips to get to have him to yourself. He made you feel comfortable and honestly you were out of your element at this party. Hannibal rested his head against the wall. That left his neck vulnerable and you couldn’t resist placing a kiss on it.

“Why must you insist on acting up when we are alone, darling girl?” He hummed quietly, his hand entertained itself absentmindedly drawing things on your thigh.

“I missed you,” you insisted. “Not just like that. We used to spend a lot of time together.”

“It has been a long time. I’m sorry about that.”

“I had your number too. I’m not completely out of blame.”

“Well, you’ll find a way to make it up to me.” He tugged you closer, “You’re too far.”

You straddled one of his thighs, placing your hand on his shoulders. “I’m sure you have a couple ideas of how.”

“A couple.”

Leaning in you caught him in a kiss. His hand started to trail lower, you caught him by the wrist before he got to his destination, placing his hand back on your hip. With his original plan voided, he bounced his thigh against you, the hands on your hips helping you grind down. You couldn’t help the moan you let out. Letting him continue until you remembered the party happening not so far away.

“Hannibal,” you whined against his lips, “Not right now.”

“But you sound so sweet, darling, don’t mind them.” He continued his earlier assault on your neck, this time not thinking twice before sucking his mark onto it. “You look so beautiful tonight. I know you can give me one before we’re missed, you’re always so good for me. Don’t you want to be good?”

The growing lust clouded your judgement. Hannibal’s soft words and the gentle but perfect rhythm he was working on made it hard to find any reason to argue.

“Yes, daddy,” you sighed softly, “I want to be good for you.”

The door opened again, followed by a dramatic gasp, “Hannibal, having dessert before the rest of us?” The strange man eyed you, “Plan on sharing?”

Hannibal had been quick to tug down the dress that had rode up, keeping you safe from prying eyes. “Unfortunately, I’m not one for sharing. If you don’t mind waiting in the hall. I’ll meet with you in a second.”

“Oh, I’d much prefer to stay. Hello, what’s your name? Is Hannibal keeping you entertained?”

You hid your face against Hannibal’s shoulder, your face burning to the touch.

“Shy thing isn’t she, daddy?”

“I really must insist you leave now,” Hannibal said, the anger evident in his voice.

“Fine, killjoy.” You heard retreating steps and the door closed again.

“Of course out of everyone to find us it was the gossip,” he sighed to himself, dropping a kiss to the top of your head, “I’m sorry about that, love.”

“I told you not now,” you said, pulling away and going back to your seat beside him.

“I know. I’m sorry,” he kissed the back of your hand, “I thought we’d have a couple more minutes before someone looked for us, let alone find us. Let me handle this and then you’ll never see him again.”

You nodded. “Can I go to the room for the night? He made me feel… strange.”

“Darling,” he cupped your cheek, a sad look in his eyes, “this is your home more than anyone else out there. Don’t let him ruin the night for us. I’ll make sure he’s gone and stay by you the rest of the night. Does that sound okay?”

And true to his word he was, he had escorted the man out quickly once he found him. However the Gossip was apparently a fast worker, because a couple people did give you lingering looks. Though they were quick to save face if they so much as thought Hannibal noticed. Whatever they thought didn’t matter. You were two grown, consenting adults that enjoyed each other’s company, be damned what others thought. Throughout the night you kept telling yourself that, hoping to cut the embarrassment short. A couple times you caught yourself, thoughtlessly intertwining your fingers with Hannibal’s when you were less than sturdy. Each time he squeezed your fingers gently, quiet reassurance that he was there for you.

You woke up the following morning. Hannibal was still asleep beside you, it must have been early. He looked sweet in the mornings. Relaxed, not as stiff as he usually was, his hair sticking up in places he’d immediately flatten out once he woke as he greeted you with that deeper more accented voice that accompanied the mornings. You pressed a kiss to his chest, before carefully removing the arm that was sprawled across your stomach.

Looking at the clock, you considered the time. There was enough if you worked quickly. Standing up, you grabbed one of your shirts and shorts. After freshening up, you made your way down to the kitchen.

It was different. You hadn’t toured much of the home, let alone know where anything was, but you gathered your bearings fast enough. The things you needed had been placed somewhat similarly to his old home and you set everything onto the counter. Protein scramble, fruit, and pancakes seemed like a good option today. The pancakes, he had taught you to make when you asked where the box mix was and obviously he wouldn’t stand for you not knowing how to make something so simple from scratch.

Your phone played music as you set to work, washing the used dishes along the way so there wasn’t too much of a mess.

As you were plating the food, you heard Hannibal call out your name.

“Kitchen!” You called out.

He was quick to meet you, “Darling, I could have made you breakfast. You should have stayed in bed with me.”

“I couldn’t sleep any more and you looked too sweet to wake,” you poured two cups of coffee and prepared them to both of your liking, “Figured why not play domestic for a while.”

“How did you like it?” He asked, walking over to take the cup from you.

“Eh well you know, the domestic life,” you shrugged, feeding him a cut strawberry, “I like to let my partner sleep in on Saturday’s and make them comfort breakfasts. Sometimes they ruin breakfast in bed by coming down too early, but what can you do?”

He chuckled around the bite of strawberry, “I’m sorry, beloved. I’ll stay put next time.”

“Yes, you will.” You stood on the tips of your toes to press a chaste kiss to his lips. “But I’m not too angry at you. I enjoy your company.”

His fingers toyed with the hem of your shirt. “Aren’t you usually sporting my shirts on these mornings?”

“I didn’t want to ruin one of them.”

“You couldn’t ruin a thing if you tried. I’ve got more than enough for you to steal away when you go back home too.”

“I only took them, because someone made a habit of messing up my shirts.”

“And your reasoning for keeping them, little one?” He grabbed the plates, “Come along, the mornings have been wonderful recently.”

You grabbed the cups. “You should’ve come and picked them up the same way I had. It’s your own fault they aren’t back where they belong.”

The afternoon was spent in each other’s company. Hannibal had insisted he’d wash the remaining dishes and asked you to pick up his sketchbook and pencils from the library since you were going to find yourself something to read. You did as asked, before returning outside. Setting his things on the table, you went to go sit in a sunny spot of grass.

It wasn’t long until Hannibal rejoined you outside and took a seat.

You glanced up curiously after a while, he was sketching away.

“Anything I can do for you, beloved?” He asked, not looking up from his work.

“Just watching.”

He hummed in response.

Some unease settled in your stomach when you remembered why exactly you were over here. What was the harm in voicing it? “Hannibal?” You waited until he looked up at you, “You’re okay that we haven’t slept together yet? I mean… I know that’s why I am here.”

It was true, the lingering looks you had gotten at dinner, paired with the small embarrassment of realizing one of Hannibal’s love bites got to bloom in front of them all threw you off at night. You had tried to let yourself go, let him have control of you for a while, but you couldn’t go past taking off some clothes and letting your hands feel the other. He didn’t mind when you didn’t want to do more. Always the gentleman. Instead he settled you against his chest, an arm keeping you close, quiet conversation and long breathtaking kisses filled the night.

“I’m not one of those little boys you’ve found,” he stated, seeming to be mildly offended, “I enjoy our quiet moments just as much, if not more. Sex is something else we could do together, nothing more. It’s not everything, little one. You’re not here for that purpose. What I enjoy is your company and I’ll take it any way you give it.”

You tilted your head looking at him closely, he mimicked you, narrowing his eyes at you playfully. That made you laugh softly, you decided he was being honest and not covering up his disappointment with sweet words. Patting the grass next to you, “Sit with me.”

“YN…”

“Please?” You asked, sweetening the pot with a pout.

He shook his head but gathered his things, soon joining you. Resting your head on his shoulder you looked at what he was sketching. The scene was you at the present moment. Half faced toward him, book in hand, completely relaxed, and more perfect than you ever dreamed of being.

“That’s an exaggeration, I’m not that beautiful.”

“That’s where we must differ, my love,” he kissed your temple, “Try as I might I’ll never be able to draw you with the dignity you deserve. It’s a poor imitation of the way I perceive you.”

“You’re a ridiculous man,” you said fondly, “Though I suppose I’d like to keep you around a while longer.”

“Suppose” he scoffed, “ You’d be lost without me.”

You stuck your tongue out at him childishly and went back to your book.

“Darling, I do adore when you take care of yourself, but we’ll be late if you don’t hurry,” Hannibal said, leaning on the bathroom’s door frame already dressed for the outing.

“It’s not my fault you always manage to get the bath perfect,” you groaned, getting out of the bathtub.

Hannibal walked over, grabbing a towel on his way. “I’ll run you another later.”

You took the towel, drying yourself off. It was nice to see a rare impatient Hannibal. There was more to that calm and collected demeanor he usually had. “You’re cute when you’re excited about something. Where are we going?”

“I got us tickets to the opera.”

“Really!” You lit up at that. When he talked about the shows he had seen before, he’d get so much more animated. It would be nice to experience one with him. “Which one?”

“Die Entführung aus dem Serail,” he answered, taking you in with a smile, “but darling, your excitement may go to waste, I’m afraid.”

“I’ll be quick!”

With you keeping your promise and Hannibal’s quick driving, it didn’t take anytime to make it to the opera house. There was time to spare and Hannibal socialized a bit, introducing you to other regulars. You exchanged pleasantries and let Hannibal control the conversation as you looked around the place. Some people you recognized from last night. One person you saw nod towards you whispering something to his companion.

“I didn’t think he’d be one for cradle robbing,” you caught the man say, as he eyed you up, “Lucky man. Reckon I could steal that little piece away?”

You subtly moved closer to Hannibal, feeling the heat rise to your face.

Hannibal turned his attention to you when the others started talking amongst themselves. “Are you alright?” He asked quietly, tucking away a strand of your hair that fell out of place.

“Yeah. I’m great,” you lied, knowing he’d probably take offense to any minute comment made about whatever kind of relationship the two of you had.

“Are you certain?” The tone of voice saying he knew you were hiding something. He always seemed to read you so easily. In that he knew you’d continue to deny anything. “Would you like to go to our seats now? The show should start in a couple of minutes.”

“Yes, please.”

Hannibal grabbed your hand in his, leading you away from the crowd. To your surprise he took you to a private balcony above the rest of the audience seating. “Since, it’s your first time, I figured privacy would do us well. No distractions,” he paused for a moment, “No one to get into that pretty little head of yours.”

“I just don’t enjoy all the looks and comments,” you sighed, allowing him to pull you down onto the seat with him. “I love spending time with you. It’s just soured by people that don’t mind their own.”

“It’s not ideal, but we mustn’t let them ruin our nights. With this kind of community, people make assumptions and talk. Darling, I really do insist you tell me when someone makes you upset.”

“I know, I know. Guess I should have braced for it more. I’m just not used to these kinds of things. When we’re alone it’s easy to just exist together. Just us.”

“I understand completely. However, I do enjoy that we finally got to leave the house. You look absolutely breathtaking tonight.”

You smiled at that, “Well, you do seem to have an eye for what suits me.”

“That, I do.”

Leaning your head on his shoulder, you breathed the comforting scent of his cologne, “I’m sorry I let them get to me when we're supposed to be enjoying our time together. It’s not fair to you.”

“They get annoying,” he gave your thigh a gentle squeeze, “Of course you’d take offense for us. There isn’t much we can do besides understand that we’re here for the right reasons. Though, it does get under my skin to see you affected so under my care.”

Soon the crowd made their way to the seats and the lights dimmed to near black. When the music started Hannibal whispered translations into your ear. You got caught up in the story between watching the characters go through their woes and Hannibal’s gentle voice guiding you through every detail. It was easy to see what Hannibal saw at these events. They really were thrilling to watch. Still it wasn’t so much the show, but getting to know another side of the man in question.

You looked at the man beside you, a happy smile plastered on your face. “Thank you for bringing me, Hannibal.”

“Anything for you, my love.”

“Your love?” You challenged teasingly.

A couple times he had thrown around the pet name. You didn’t take it for much. He was a sweet, old fashioned man, you had decided to believe. A sweet nothing that neither of you minded. Still you couldn’t deny the slight softness you felt from the moniker.

“You’ve promised yourself as all mine before,” he reminded you, “and I take no issue in claiming what’s mine.”

“That was said when I was drunk on you.”

“Deny all you’d like, sweet girl, you’re still mine.”

Hannibal tilted your head up slightly to kiss you. You couldn’t find it in yourself to care about why the music crescendoed in that moment. Not when he was kissing you with more passion than you had ever felt. He had a way of making it feel like you were the only beings in existence. Hannibal bit at your lip, asking for more, and you gave it to him without a thought. You’d do whatever he wanted at that moment. Still you couldn’t help grabbing his wrist when his hand found it’s way up your dress. He swallowed the helpless moan that slipped past your lips greedily.

You pulled away from him, your hips grinding onto his hand on their own accord. “Hannibal, I-“

He hushed you, “You’re missing a very important part of the show.” His hand didn’t let up from its ministrations as he continued to translate for you.

You went to cover your mouth with your hand, but Hannibal stopped you short, placing it back at your side. A quick mummer of be good was all he offered, not once stopping the pace he had set. You choked back the moan when he pressed against a spot that had been long neglected since the last time you paid him a visit. The music being so loud was your only safe haven, still, you pressed yourself further into Hannibal, hoping to hide yourself further from any wandering eyes that might look away from the show. Embarrassment and lust built with every thrust of Hannibal’s fingers. The former was getting increasingly easier to ignore as Hannibal pulled you closer and closer to your end. Pressing your face against his neck, you bit at the skin there in a cheap attempt at revenge for what he was putting you through.

Hannibal’s fingers stilled. A quiet chuckle met your ear when he heard your whimper of protest, stopping your hips as you attempted to help yourself. “Such an easy thing to toy with, you're nothing more than my own personal whore.” He didn’t miss the throb around his fingers at those words. “You’d let me use you however I’d like wouldn’t you?”

You gave a lazy nod as he brought his fingers up to your mouth. Eager to please him, hoping he’d let you finish, you opened your mouth and sucked his fingers clean. Behind your back, you felt him working himself out of his pants. Taking his hand away he adjusted your dress higher before pulling you on to his lap. With his other hand the head of his cock teased your clit, you forced yourself not to complain, knowing he’d go on longer if you did. When he finally pushed into you, you couldn’t fight off the moan of contentment as he filled you completely. Turning your head, you caught him in a languid kiss, caught up in only him despite the performance going on.

“Please?”

“What do you need?”

“You.” You shifted your hips slightly, “May I please move?”

“I’m sorry, little one,” you caught the slight upward twitch of his lip when you looked at him in disbelief, “I’d rather use you at my leisure.”

You whined in frustration, leaning against him knowing he’d play a cruel game. This time he offered no translations, keeping you entirely focused on the feeling of him buried deep inside of you doing nothing to help relieve your need for him. When you did manage to distract yourself, he circled your clit and gave a few sharp thrust, just enough to bring you back where he wanted you. His hand continued, changing the rhythm every so often so you’d stay aware of your position.

“I’ll be so good,” you begged helplessly.

“And yesterday you had been so against it despite having our privacy in the library,” he reminded you, pushing in and out of you in a too slow pace, but at least he was moving, “What was it that was missing, hm? The audience that could look up and see me using what’s mine?”

You didn’t know what had changed. Not truely. Maybe it was the couple of glasses of wine you had drunk throughout the day. Perhaps it was just finally getting what you had wanted for so long. Honestly, you couldn’t find yourself to be curious enough to find out.

“I wanna cum,” you told him, swallowing the embarrassment.

“I don’t know, darling, you’ve tried to find comfort with others. I really can’t say I approve of the notion. Suppose, I could just use you for your worth and leave you dry.” He groaned into your ear as you clenched around him, he sped up his thrust, “There’s my good girl, you like the sound of that?”

“Hannibal, please,” you whimpered, “I’ve wanted you for so long.”

“Beg for it.”

“I’ll never look for anyone else again. It was so stupid to think anyone else could make me feel as good as you.” Your breath hitched when he struck deeper, “I've been so desperate for you.”

“That’s all so very sweet, but that’s not exactly what I want to hear.”

You whined quietly as you tried to figure out the right combination of words to get you what you wanted. “I’m just yours… No one else’s… You’re the only one, I’m so sorry…”

“See? Was it so hard to apologize for your misconduct?”

You shook your head.

He pinched your thigh. “Words, darling.”

“No, daddy,” you moaned, as his hands guided your hips to move with him, “But I’ll be good for you now.”

“I still don’t think you deserve to cum, you pathetic thing.”

“You’ll let me?”

Hannibal’s hand grabbed your jaw roughly, making you look at him. “Next time I won’t be so generous. Understood?”

You swallowed down the slight twinge of fear that had worked its way into your system. “Yes, sir.”

He pushed your face away. “Work for it yourself.”

Tag list: @charc0al-grey @songofcosplay

#Hannibal #nbc hannibal #hannibal x reader #slasher x reader #hannibal lecter x reader #slasher imagines #smut

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whitesparrows97 · 3 years ago

Text

Love is a foolish thing

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x female reader

Warnings: drinking of alcohol, swear words, angst, mean people, jealousy, minor injuries, explicit sexual content including oral (female receiving, indication of male receiving), fingering, light spanking, little bit of dirty talk, protected and unprotected sex

Genre: Strangers to friends with benefits to lovers

Summary: Falling in love… it sounded so simple. Falling. Like one wrong step, a small stumble and you were deeply in love. But there was nothing easy about love.

Word Count: 20K

Note: My tumblr nearly crashed while trying to post this story because it’s too long. I really have no idea how that happened, I just couldn’t control myself. So nothing new. But what is new is the banner. This is the first time I created one (goodbye using gifs from tumblr) and I really hope you like it. (The gif of van Gogh’s Starry Night is not mine and I found it on giphy. The picture of Taehyung he posted himself when they were touring in Berlin.)

Also a little disclaimer: English is not my first language so please excuse any mistakes! I’d normally split a story this long into chapters but because this is a story for the btswritersclub fic exchange, I decided to post it as a oneshot. I really hope you’ll like it @taetaesbaebaepsae !

intro: new beginnings

He felt the thumping bass throughout his body and welcomed the tingling sensation on his skin with a wide grin as he pushed his way through the crowd. His gaze slid over the countless faces as he passed them; most of whom he had seen before on campus or at previous parties.

Faces were what he could remember.

The bone structure of the face, how their hair framed their face, their facial expressions… These were all things that could not be easily changed and what made a person unique. No matter how much they changed, dyed their hair or cut it off altogether, wore a lot of makeup or none at all – there was something that didn’t change, no matter how hard they tried. And that’s exactly what Taehyung saw in people, which was why it was easy for him to recognize people, even if he had only run into someone once in the hallway.

For a long time, it had felt like a curse to Taehyung. Nowadays, he knew how to use that gaze to his advantage. It helped him especially in his studies and his art teacher had praised him more than once for having that special sight.

There was one thing, however, that he had a lot of trouble with.

“Hi, Taehyung!” A young man appeared in front of him, shouting against the loud music.

Taehyung shifted his gaze down to look the shorter man in the eye. The young man grinned at him, a bit wryly and a red plastic cup in one hand, which judging by his already glazed look was not his first cup of the evening.

He put on a smile and nodded. “Hey…”

Names were the thing he just couldn’t remember, for the life of him. He was glad he knew his best friend’s name after all these years. Even if every now and then he found himself thinking before it thankfully came back to him. It was frustrating to know so many people, to recognize them, but to have forgotten what their name was.

Taehyung didn’t wait for an answer, but with another smile apologized to the young man in front of him, who had already started moving clumsily to the music again. Taehyung doubted that he even noticed that Taehyung had disappeared.

He gave a wide berth to the area in the center of the room that had been chosen as the dance floor this evening and instead kept close to the walls. From there, he could get a rough idea of who all had come to this party on a Thursday night.

Despite the loud music, he could hear the loud voices, buzzing conversations and peals of laughter. Here and there, yelling mingled in. The first visitors to the party were already clinging to the shoulders and upper arms of their friends, which were the only reason they were still standing upright.

Taehyung shook his head, laughing softly when he saw this. He hadn’t been that late; a glance at his watch showed him that the party had only started a little over an hour ago. But it was summer, which meant that the semester would soon be over. And with that came all the exams, so Taehyung couldn’t blame anyone for needing time off from studying.

As he looked over the various groups of people, his gaze lingered on a face he didn’t recognize.

Intrigued, he slowed in his walk.

He frowned and his smile disappeared as he looked at you intently from head to toe. His father had once described this facial expression as his “artist’s expression”. When he was so engrossed in a painting or drawing that he didn’t notice how his eyebrows drew together and deep wrinkles formed in his forehead. Even now he could hear his mother scolding him that the wrinkles eventually wouldn’t go away anymore.

When he had explained to her that wrinkles told more stories than words ever could, that they were charismatic, she had shaken her head with a smile.

Taehyung’s gaze lingered on your lips, which had formed into a relaxed smile as you listened to someone talking to you. Min Yoongi, his best friend and a music student in his final semester.

Taehyung didn’t know what the two of you were talking about or if you knew each other, but you seemed to get along well.

He continued to watch you for a brief moment before you seemed apologetic and then disappeared towards the kitchen with your cup in hand. Determined, Taehyung walked towards his best friend and when he was only a few feet away, Yoongi looked up.

“Hey,” the older of the two said, nodding at Taehyung. He took a sip from his cup and let his gaze roam the room, just as Taehyung had done moments before.

“Hi,” he greeted back, eyeing Yoongi for a moment. “Who was that?”

Yoongi laughed into his cup and shook his head with a grin. “You must know everything and everyone, don’t you?”

Taehyung shrugged, but didn’t contradict him. “I just like to get to know the people I study with.”

Yoongi snorted at his statement. “Even if I told you her name, you’d forget it in half an hour anyway.”

Taehyung couldn’t object to that either. It probably wouldn’t even take half an hour. Sometimes Taehyung felt as if names went into the one ear and right out the other without even a brief stopover at his brain.

“You know,” Yoongi began, raising an eyebrow, “women usually aren’t too keen on being called by the wrong name by mistake. Just a little advice.”

Now Taehyung was the one who snorted. “Thanks, you seem to know a lot about that. Should be a little careful with your new girlfriend. Just a little advice for you,” he repeated Yoongi’s statement and Yoongi grinned.

For a moment there was silence between the two men. Only the loud, booming music and the buzz of voices filled the pause between them.

“Y/N,” Yoongi then suddenly said, “her name is Y/N. She studied in another city before and came to this university for her master’s.”

“What did she study?”

“Why don’t you ask her that yourself if you’re so interested?”

Taehyung raised his glass, which was almost empty anyway, downed it in one gulp and made his way to the kitchen where you had disappeared to.

. . .

“So you’re Y/N. Right?” Taehyung didn’t show how proud he was that he had been able to remember your name.

You nodded and waited for him to introduce himself. “Well… Are you going to tell me yours or do I have to guess?” you asked after a short silence when he kept studying your face but no words came out of his mouth.

“Oh, sure,” he blurted out, startled by this question for a second, “I’m Taehyung.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw his hand twitch, as if he wanted to shake your hand and you had to stifle a grin.

But Taehyung had seen the corners of your mouth move upward. “Are you laughing at me?” he asked, holding a hand to his heart in feigned hurt.

“No, no,” you placated him, but any further attempt to explain was interrupted by your laughter rising inside you. Taehyung looked at you through narrowed eyes for another moment before a grin spread across his face as well.

You liked his smile. You noticed it right away, even though you had only been talking for a few minutes.

Your gaze lingered on his lips for a moment too long and when you looked back into his eyes, his grin had widened even more and there was an amused glint in his gaze that hadn’t been there before.

You had to avert your gaze and let your eyes wander around the kitchen. You didn’t know what it was, but his gaze made you nervous. It was intense. As if he was looking right through you.

“Do you want to dance?” he asked, bringing you back from your thoughts.

Instead of giving an answer, you took his hand and led him back to the living room.

The dance floor had not emptied in the meantime, rather the opposite was the case. By now most of the guests at the party were crowding onto it, so that the entire room had become a dance floor. And even the people who were standing on the sidelines and preferred to watch the spectacle from a distance were persuaded to dance.

You made your way past sweaty bodies until you finally found a place where you could move a little more freely. The song that was playing was energetic and fast – and while the other people around you were jumping up and down, singing along loudly and off-key to the lyrics, Taehyung surprised you when he put an arm on your waist and pulled you close to him.

The two glasses of alcohol you had already drunk were slowly but surely making themselves noticeable. A pleasant warmth flooded through you as you felt Taehyung’s strong hands on your hips, moving you to the beat of the music. That, and the fact he smiled at you whenever you locked eyes made your heart beat a little faster.

Especially when his thumb drew little circles on the small sliver of bare skin where your shirt had ridden up. The air was stuffy and sweaty, but at that moment you didn’t mind it one bit.

Taehyung leaned forward and your breath hitched when his lips touched your ear as he said, “You’re beautiful.”

You waited with your eye roll until Taehyung had leaned back again, so he definitely caught your gesture. Immediately, his eyebrows shot up.

Now it was up to you to lean forward. “Can’t you think of anything better?”

Taehyung thought for a moment, and if you hadn’t felt his hand on your lower back, pulling you closer and closer to him with each movement, you would have thought he was completely lost in thought.

But then you saw the corners of his mouth twitch up as he tried to suppress the grin.

Again he leaned forward toward you, but this time he didn’t speak directly. Instead, you first felt his lips against the shell of your ear, and then gasped in surprise as he gently bit your sensitive skin. The deep, throaty laugh that followed sent jolts of electricity through your veins.

“I could also say that you look incredibly hot and caught my eye as soon as I arrived.”

You were completely stilled in your movements and the hand that had been on your hip before had crept up to your neck. His slender, long fingers danced on your sweaty skin and your eyes fluttered closed as you savored the sensation he and his fingers were causing.

You almost forgot about his lips against your ear, which made you flinch as Taehyung spoke the rest of his sentence. “And none of it would be a lie.”

When you opened your eyes again, the hand had disappeared from your neck and resumed its place on your hip. You didn’t speak a word, your looks said enough. And when your eyes wandered lower for a moment and came to rest on his lips with that mischievous grin, the outcome of the evening was sealed.

. . .

Your back hit the wall behind you and you let out a soft “Oh” in surprise. Taehyung took the opportunity and his tongue slipped between your open lips into your mouth. You moaned as he explored your mouth, which spurred Taehyung on even more.

His hands traveled down your torso, down your sides, and finally grasped your hips. Then he pulled you tighter against him so that you were locked between him and the wall behind you. Even though you didn’t feel locked in at all. You hadn’t felt this free in a long time.

Your hands reached out between your two bodies on his torso, and you felt the muscles under his shirt twitch as your fingertips brushed almost delicately over sensitive areas. His lips turned into a grin before he kissed you passionately again.

His fingers wandered lower and finally wrapped around one of your thighs. They dug pleasantly into your flesh, making you hum contentedly. With a sudden exclamation of surprise from you, he lifted your leg and the moan you both gave as your hips met was muffled when your lips crashed into each other once again.

But it wasn’t just his hips you felt against yours. You felt him hard, right between your legs as he circled his hips against yours.

He wandered his mouth along your jaw first before kissing down your neck. “You are so receptive to my touch,” he said softly, but in the otherwise silent room, his voice sounded loud and clear. His hot breath tickled you, making you shiver as Taehyung ran his tongue along your neck.

“Sorry,” you laughed softly when you shuddered again as his tongue explored the contours of your collarbone.

His grip around your hip and thigh strengthened before he let go of your neck and straightened up. He released one hand and gently stroked your hot cheeks with it as his gaze darted back and forth between your eyes. “You never have to apologize for being sensitive to touch. That just tells me I’m doing everything right.”

And how right he was.

“Do you have condoms?”

Your question made him pause, and a second later he gently let your leg slide back to the floor. He seemed to think for a moment, an index finger pressed to his lips before he stuck it up in the air as if he had a sudden idea. You watched as he walked toward the bed and opened the nightstand drawer. He rummaged around in it for a moment, and you grimaced as you thought about Taehyung digging around in other people’s things.

“Bingo,” Taehyung exclaimed, reaching into the drawer and tossing a package onto the made bed. “Unopened,” Taehyung added as he turned to look at you, raising an eyebrow.

“Don’t be mean,” you said, but had to smile as well. His smile was contagious. “Just be glad the person doesn’t seem to be having that much sex… it’s to our benefit right now.”

“That,” Taehyung countered, “or that’s a new pack because he just fucks a lot.”

You couldn’t hold back your grunt when you heard his statement, that’s how dryly he said it. “Whose room is this, anyway?”

“I don’t know,” Taehyung said and looking around for a moment.

You didn’t need to check, because you couldn’t have known the person. It could even be Taehyung’s room for all you knew. You didn’t even know who the host was at that party. A girl, Grace, from one of your seminars had approached you yesterday and invited you. You hadn’t seen her all evening and wondered if she had shown up yet.

With slow and deliberate steps, you walked toward the bed in front of which he stood. As you came to a stop in front of him, you noticed his frown in the dim light. “What is it?”

“I hope you don’t think of me as being unprepared or expecting us not to use contraception.” He held your gaze as if he were watching every little emotion in your face. “I didn’t plan on doing this tonight, so I didn’t come prepared.”

Your hands wandered up along his sides, feeling the muscles under his T-shirt. “So,” you said softly, looking back up at him, “you don’t do this kind of thing often?”

A mischievous grin had stolen onto his face in return. “Occasionally,” he admitted with a shrug, “but probably less often than you’re thinking right now.”

You were about to reply something when suddenly the door was yanked open behind you and the music from the living room could be heard more clearly all at once. Surprised, you turned around.

“Oh,” a guy laughed when he caught sight of the two of you. A girl stumbled into him as he stopped so suddenly in the doorway.

“This place seems to be occupied,” the girl laughed now, too, eyeing the two of you.

Her boyfriend – or acquaintance – also caught her glance. “Or are you two interested in–”

“No,” Taehyung said firmly, before the other could fully ask his question. He stepped out from behind you and it only took a few long strides before he arrived at the door. “We’re not. Thank you.” With those words, he pushed them both out of the room and closed the door. “Shit,” he muttered.

With nimble fingers, you opened the box of condoms and grabbed one before heading towards the door as well. Taehyung had leaned forward and seemed to be examining something on the door. Or rather, something that wasn’t there.

“What’s wrong?”

He straightened up again and made a head movement toward the lock. “There’s no key.”

“Okay?” you asked, “Is that a problem?” Your fingers gently stroked his upper arm, squeezing it once firmly, and Taehyung understood. He raised an eyebrow and the next moment he spun you around and your back hit something again, this time it was the door. There was a dull thud as your back hit the wood and you felt it give in from Taehyung’s strength. You just hoped it would hold for the next few minutes…

“Not at all,” he whispered in your ear and you bit your lower lip to stifle the wanting moan that almost fell over your lips. You closed your eyes to fully concentrate on Taehyung’s lips, his teeth which left red and blue marks on your sensitive skin.

Your eyes fluttered open in surprise, however, as Taehyung’s lips suddenly disappeared and he slid down to the floor so that he was kneeling in front of you. His eyelashes cast long shadows in the dim light of the bedside lamp, and absentmindedly you brushed his hair out of his face.

“I know I’m repeating myself and that you don’t want to hear it, but you’re so beautiful.” His long fingers found their way under your top and every little bit of skin he bared was covered by his lips a short time later. What remained was heat – heat that coursed through you and eventually accumulated in your abdomen.

You were about to pull him back to his feet by his shoulders when his fingers found your jeans button and a moment later you heard the opening of a zipper. His hand found yours, which was still clinging to the condom as if it were an anchor and which he took from you before guiding your hand to his head. As you looked down at yourself, fingers buried in his hair as if you’d done it umpteen times before, your eyes met.

Lust and mischievousness were in his gaze, the smirk hidden from your perspective, but you saw the glint in his eyes as he pulled down your pants along with your underwear.

. . .

“And then he went down on me.”

“He what?” Grace looked at you in surprise.

You cleared your throat. Your cheeks were warm and you tried to avoid her curious gaze. “He went down on me.”

You wanted to end this conversation as quickly as you could. You didn’t even remember how Grace had talked you into telling her about last Thursday in the first place. But Grace had pestered you for so long, until you finally caved in. She had seen you disappear into that bedroom with Taehyung, which was why you couldn’t deny anything.

“Oh. Wow.”

“Oh, come on,” you said, trying to downplay the subject. With a little more force than necessary, you shut your laptop and shoved it into your backpack. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“You bet it is,” she whispered-shouted, earning a few scowls from the nearby students. She quickly apologized to them in a softer tone. “You bet it is,” she repeated, quieter this time, as you walked toward the library exit. “No guy does this on a one night stand.”

“I’m sure there are some.”

“You wouldn’t give a blow job either, would you?” she completely bypassed your argument.

The door slammed shut behind you and you took one deep breath. You loved the fresh evening air in early summer… especially when you had been sitting in the stuffy library for hours. Even though some loved the smell of the old books and dusty paper, it mainly caused you a headache and the unspeakable pressure before your next exams.

“I’m just saying,” Grace continued to explain, “you can’t be sure if the person is clean.”

“I am clean,” you muttered, feeling a little affronted. “I told him that beforehand.”

“On the other hand, yeah, he can wear a condom I guess. Hmm…”

For a moment, you wondered if you were in a parallel universe, where Grace was walking the path to the dorm alone and therefore not responding to you. But then she turned around and looked at you with waggling eyebrows. “Did you come?”

“Grace,” you sighed, wanting the questioning to stop. Instead of answering her, you countered, “I should have just ignored you those few weeks ago when you sat down next to me in the seminar.”

“And would be alone to this day? That would be so sad.”

You rolled your eyes. “At least then I wouldn’t have to let you pepper me with your questions.”

“True again,” she said with a shrug, “but then you wouldn’t have anyone to brag to about the great sex you had either.”

You said nothing in reply, but kept your gaze firmly focused on the building a few hundred feet in front of you.

“Or miserable sex we can make fun of?”

That elicited an annoyed groan from you, and finally a shake of your head. “First of all, we don’t make fun of anyone at all, no matter how good or bad someone is in bed.”

“Okay, Miss Diplomacy.” A pause arose and it amused you to see Grace growing more impatient by the second. “Okay and so what? So was he good?”

Sighing, you nodded, “Yes, he was.” Before Grace could clap her hands in delight, you quickly added, “I didn’t come, though.” The words came out of your mouth faster than normal.

She just snorted, though. “Then trust me, this won’t be the last time.”

You raised an eyebrow. “We both agreed that this will be a one time thing.”

“Well, look at it this way,” she began, and with a beep, her student ID was confirmed and the glass door to the building slid open. “Did he notice you didn’t come?” You nodded. “Then he’ll certainly have the urge to prove himself all over again.”

You thought for a moment, letting Grace’s words run through your mind. “Oh, I don’t know. It wasn’t because of him.”

“Then what was it about? Couldn’t you relax?”

You nodded again. “The whole situation was unfortunate,” you began to explain in more detail. “I felt like someone was going to burst into the room at any moment and–” You bit your lip, trying not to say the rest of the sentence.

Grace gave you a meaningful look. “And?”

You had arrived outside your room and nervously played with your key card. “It’s just…” Ringing for words, you looked down at the floor until you finally looked up in frustration. Grace looked at you patiently, seeming to notice how hard it was for you to talk about it. “He was so… gentle.”

When Grace heard that, she had to grunt.

“Hey,” you countered, smacking her on the upper arm.

“Ouch.” She grimaced as she rubbed the sore spot. “Would you have preferred him to be rough?”

You tilted your head and considered. Grace laughed when she saw that.

“I’m just saying,” you said, now serious again, “No one night stand I’ve had has tried this hard. I guess, I’m just a bit surprised, that’s all.”

“Then why don’t you talk to Taehyung,” Grace replied, still a grin on her face as she walked backwards down the hall to her room, “Maybe he won’t try so hard next time.” You could still hear her giggling, even as she disappeared around the corner and out of your field of vision.

. . .

falling into habits

Taehyung moaned and thrust deeply into you one last time before coming to a stop inside of you. He braced himself on his forearms to avoid crushing you under his weight while you both caught your breath. Silently you lay in Taehyung’s bed before he finally reached between your bodies, held the condom tightly, and pulled out before finally rolling off of you.

He didn’t bother to get up and dispose of the used condom, just tied it together, lazily wrapped it in a tissue, and rolled back onto his back so that he was lying next to you.

For a moment you lay like that next to each other, completely detached from the world that was going on outside Taehyung’s apartment and instead in one where only the two of you existed.

But then you picked yourself up with a discontented sigh, and awkwardly climbed over Taehyung, who made an attempt to hold you by the waist. Laughing softly, you batted his hands aside and a second later your bare feet came into contact with the carpet.

Your fingers found your panties and quickly you slipped them back on. So did your jeans and your T-shirt. You glanced back and saw Taehyung still lying naked in his bed, on his stomach now, while the bedspread covered his lower half. Your gaze slid down his trained back nonetheless, and you bit your lips as images of the last few minutes popped into your head. Or rather hours, as you silently cursed when you glanced at your phone.

You heard Taehyung laughing tiredly behind you. “Why’re you cursing?”

As you continued to gather the rest of your things, you briefly glanced over your shoulder back at the bed. Taehyung had turned his head so he could watch you.

“I’m late,” you explained to him, stuffing your belongings into your bag, which you unceremoniously slipped on.

Taehyung groaned and buried his face in the pillow.

“Can’t you skip it and stay here instead?” His voice sounded muffled and you wanted to go back the few steps to run your fingers through his tousled hair.

But you couldn’t.

“I’ll see you in a few days.”

“That’s not soon enough,” he whined and shook his head.

“I think my group would kill me if I didn’t come to the meeting. Besides,” you added a little louder, worried that Taehyung would fall asleep otherwise, “I’m already grateful to them for accepting me into their group in the middle of the semester in the first place. I don’t want to cause any more inconvenience.”

You heard only a displeased murmur from Taehyung’s direction and threw a quick goodbye into the room before leaving his apartment.

The walk to the campus took you half an hour, even if you hurried. However, you could use the time well to reflect on the last weeks.

After your conversation with Grace, it had only taken a few days for you to receive a message from an unknown number. Yoongi had given your phone number to Taehyung through Grace – which Grace had commented with an “I told you so” – and a day later you had met up.

This time hadn’t been at a party, but at his home, and quickly one thing had led to another. You hadn’t even taken a seat on the sofa properly before your lips had crashed into each other.

You had never talked about where this was going with you – and if it was going anywhere at all – but for now you were pleased with how easy everything was with Taehyung. You were on the same wavelength, he made you laugh, and the sex was good. Great even. That’s all you needed right now. And honestly, that’s all you wanted right now. Relationships meant drama and in the end at least one person got hurt.

Out of breath, but fairly punctual, you arrived at the workroom where you had arranged to meet your group. The others were already there, but no one seemed to mind that you had arrived a few minutes late.

You spent the next two hours putting together the topics you had worked on and writing them into the presentation. You had been surprised when you first met and found out that everyone had done their work. You worked hard and expected the same from others, and as you had explained to Taehyung, you were glad that the group had accepted you at all.

After all, by then well over half of the semester had passed, and in the beginning you had inevitably set the group back in their schedule. While the others had already been working on comparing the similarities and differences between their novels from The Modern Period, you had been reading your novel and gathering notes at lightning speed so that you could now sit together and pretty much finish the presentation. Each of the four of you would still have to write your own essay, but you knew you could do that in two to three days. You had all the information, so all you had to do was put it on paper.

Relieved and satisfied, you sighed as your bones cracked when you stretched your arms high above your head and arched your back.

“Wow, we really got something done today,” Toni said, visibly satisfied as she scrolled through the presentation one last time.

An approving nod went through the group and Thomas also closed his laptop with a quiet click.

“Do you want to join us for a drink?” Mia looked at you through her delicate glasses, which she pushed back up her nose with an index finger.

You didn’t have to think twice, because you were happy about any invitation. So a smile spread across your face before you nodded.

Conversations and laughter accompanied you down the stairs and you were so engrossed in a conversation with Toni that you didn’t notice the person waiting in front of the entrance of the building. It was only when you heard your name called out to you that you turned your attention to the person.

Taehyung, you realized with surprise.

“Hi,” you greeted him, eyebrows furrowed together in confusion, “what are you doing here?”

“Hey you. I thought I’d pick you up.” He had both hands buried in the pockets of his sweatpants and had thrown on a hoodie to protect himself against the coolness of the summer evening.

You took the few steps back to Taehyung, noticing at the edge of your awareness how the others’ conversations had fallen silent.

“Pick me up? For what?”

Taehyung shrugged. “Yoongi and Grace invited us. I think they both wanted to watch this new movie that started in theaters a few days ago.”

“Oh.” You looked over your shoulder at the others and saw the three of them glance quickly to the side before your eyes could meet.

“Oh?” Taehyung repeated, taking his hands out of his pockets. Some disappointment spread across his face, as if he had expected a different answer.

You heard a “Is that Kim Taehyung from Fine Arts?” and a “Fine he is definitely,” which made you pause for a moment.

“Well… I uhm, I actually wanted to go out with the others. They just asked me if I wanted to join them.” You pointed your thumb over your shoulder to the group, which had now started whispering quietly.

“Ah I see,” Taehyung said and his grin was back when he heard that, “So you’re making friends?”

“Taehyung,” you said, your voice sounding more whiny than you had intended.

“It’s all good,” he laughed and before you knew what was happening, he had put an arm around you and pulled you against him for a moment. You froze, surprised about the sudden public display of affection.

His perfume was still in your nose even when he had already let go of you and taken a step away. “Have a nice evening then. Text me when you get home okay or need someone to pick you up. I’ll stay awake until then.”

And without further ado, he smiled at you again before walking past you. As he passed the group, he waved to them and again wished you a good evening. You watched as he grew smaller and smaller in the twilight of the evening, the farther away he got, before finally disappearing behind a corner.

All evening you couldn’t get his grin and the scent of his perfume out of your mind and nose. And more than once you wondered if it would have been better if you’d made a different choice.

. . .

what am I to you?

The apartment door was yanked open, revealing a beaming, smiling Grace.

“Hello, you two,” she greeted you with a sly smile before stepping aside, thus allowing you into the apartment. “Did you find your way here okay? When I first came to Seokjin’s apartment I got lost.”

You kicked your shoes off your feet and whispered a “thank you” at Taehyung as he took them from you and placed them neatly next to the countless others.

“Sure,” he answered Grace’s question, straightening up again.

In the narrow hallway, he looked huge, as if his shoulders were almost touching the two walls. You could only see his back as you walked to the voices that seemed to be coming from the living room. Music was clearly audible playing over the stereo, but quiet enough that you could talk without having to shout. You couldn’t deny the slight nervous tingle that had formed on your skin.

Your eyes fell on Taehyung’s hand. You would only have to stretch out your arm a little and then your fingers would touch his fingertips.

Your arm, which had lifted slightly on its own, fell limply back to your side. You kept your hands to yourself, even though nervousness was spreading through you. Like a balloon, it inflated before bursting as you stepped through the door into the room. Ten, twelve faces looked up as the three of you entered the room. You were relieved that there was no big fuss about it, but the others greeted you briefly and then continued in their conversation, which you had interrupted.

You took a seat on the sofa next to a girl you didn’t know. But she looked nice.

Unnoticed, your eyes followed Taehyung, who took a seat at the other end of the sofa and returned Yoongi’s handshake. The two of them jumped right into an animated conversation.

You were so focused on the two of them that you didn’t notice the look the girl next to you was giving you. Until she finally cleared her throat and you winced, caught and startled.

“Sorry,” she smiled apologetically at you, “I didn’t quite catch your name. What’s your name again?”

“Y/N.” You had to clear your throat as only a croak came out at first. “And what’s your name?”

“Emilia, but feel free to call me Emmy.” She gave you another genuine smile, which you returned. Even your last bit of nervousness fell away from you as you lapsed into pleasant small talk over the next few minutes.

It got even easier as Grace placed a glass of freshly mixed cocktail in front of you on the coffee table and dropped to the floor at your feet. You were all the more relieved to have her by your side and not have to answer every question, but to sink into the back of the sofa for a moment and just follow the conversation.

Inevitably, your gaze slid to Taehyung and it surprised you when your eyes met.

When Taehyung saw this, he grinned at you. You had talked on the way about how awkward it was for you that he knew all the other guests and you knew no one except for him and Grace, and a bit of Yoongi, though mostly from Grace’s or Taehyung’s stories.

That’s why you could interpret his grin well. You knew what he was going to say, even if you didn’t have a chance to talk right now.

“See, it’s not so bad.”

You had spent so much time with him the last few weeks that you could practically hear his deep voice in your head. A warm feeling spread through you, even when he had already averted his gaze and was absorbed in talking to Yoongi again.

That’s how the hours of the evening went by.

You played a never-ending round of Uno, in which you didn’t come last (you preferred to hide the fact that you came second to last), and other card games. No drinking games, which you were happy about. No forcing to drink so everyone could drink what they liked, when they liked.

At one point, Taehyung and Grace had switched places and you got all hot as he leaned against your shins. Him and Emmy knew each other since the first semester, as you found out. It made you feel weird, knowing that they knew each other for years, while the both of you only met a few months ago.

Nonetheless you enjoyed the evening, and feeling so protected by Taehyung that you didn’t even look at your phone every few minutes out of habit. Therefore, you had no idea what time it was. Only the slowly emerging tiredness told you that it was probably time to go home.

You knew you would sleep well that night. Maybe you would spend the night at Taehyung’s place too – this would be a first.

However, your good mood was abruptly over with one, harmless sentence.

“How do you two know each other anyway?” Emmy looked at you with interest and at first you were perplexed, so surprised at this question that you just sat there stiffly.

Most of the others were engrossed in conversation and didn’t notice this awkward situation. Because what were you supposed to answer? You were not together. You didn’t even know if you wanted to and you had never talked about it in the first place. It had always been kind of clear that there was a sexual attraction between you – but something beyond that?

You couldn’t answer that.

Your gaze flickered to Taehyung for a second. Why didn’t he tell his long time friend about you? She didn’t even know your name… Had Taehyung never mentioned you to his friends before?

You were just getting ready to speak, to make a not very explanatory statement, when Taehyung beat you to it. “We met at a party.” He reached for his glass and took a sip while making a hand gesture between the two of you. “We haven’t known each other that long, just for a few weeks.”

Emmy raised her eyebrows as if she’d expected a different answer – and she wasn’t the only one. She gave you a small smile and turned to Seokjin, who was sitting next to her and, as you had learned that night, was not only the host but also the entertainer of the evening.

You turned your gaze from Seokjin and Emmy back to Taehyung, who was talking across the table with another young man whose name you had already forgotten. It had been too many names for one evening. But what surprised you a little was how quickly Taehyung had pushed the subject aside.

Was that all?

You hadn’t known yourself what you would have answered, but you were sure it would have been more than Taehyung’s answer. Something else.

For the next half hour, you were exceptionally quiet, which Taehyung also noticed. He turned to you and squeezed your knee once, almost affectionately. “Are you tired? Do you want to go home?”

You nodded silently, barely able to look him in the eye. What was wrong with you? As if two sentences had tipped your mood 180 degrees. From one extreme to the other…

When you stepped into the cool summer night, you took the opportunity to take a deep breath. The alcohol and the heat in the living room had clouded your mind. That had to be it.

But even on the way home – to your apartment – your mood didn’t seem to lift. Taehyung’s jokes and casual comments, which would normally make you smile, were exhausting at that moment and you were about to tell him that you could walk the rest of the way on your own.

Then he suddenly stopped as if rooted to the spot and you had to walk a few steps back again. For a moment there was only silence. In the distance you heard shouting and laughter and the occasional car passing you by, bathing you in its warm yellow light.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

A simple question. No simple answer. So you just shrugged your shoulders. “Nothing, why?”

He clicked his tongue in displeasure. “You know I hate games like that.” Even in the darkness, you could see how his lips were pressed into a straight, stern line.

Immediately your heart sank at the sight, making it even harder for you to find an answer and voice your thoughts. Instantly, you wished you had pulled yourself together for the last forty-five minutes. Instead, you were now in a situation you couldn’t easily get out of. At least not without completely throwing your principles overboard, and you just weren’t ready for that yet.

You turned your gaze to the ground and heard Taehyung sigh. A moment later, he took a step closer so that his shoes entered your field of vision. As his hands clasped yours, you flinched, not expecting the sudden touch. An argument was more what you had expected.

“Hey, look at me, please,” he asked, this time in a softer voice. When you did just that, his gaze searched yours, as if trying to read all the answers from your face. But you knew your face was just an expressionless mask, not reflecting the chaos inside you. “What’s wrong? Did I say something wrong?” You stayed silent. “Huh?”

You avoided his gaze and let your hands slip from his grasp. The disappointed look on Taehyung’s face escaped you as you searched the sidewalk for an answer.

“I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

That made you look up. “I don’t need your help.” You winced at how cold your voice sounded. But you felt pushed into a corner.

He frowned at your statement. “Okay…” he said and buried his hands in the front pockets of his pants. The hands that had held yours a moment before. He studied your face as if thinking about whether to say the next part or not. Then, “What do you want from me then?”

The question made your heartbeat quicken.

Behause you had no real answer to that. Therefore, you just shook your head.

Taehyung mimicked the movement. “What kind of answer is that, Y/N?”

You shrugged your shoulders and Taehyung sighed, gradually annoyed.

“I feel like I’m talking to a wall right now. And to be honest, I’ve had that feeling for a few days now.”

You had to swallow.

“We’ve never worked out what this is between us,” he began, hesitating briefly, “but maybe it’s about time we talk about it.”

“Why?” Pleadingly, you looked at him. “Why can’t it stay the way it is right now?”

“Because of this.” He made a hand gesture between the two of you. “Because it’s not good for you or for me. I, I have–” He sighed and ruffled his hair in frustration. “I’m just afraid that you and I have different intentions.”

“Different intentions?” you repeated, confused. What was that supposed to mean? “Well, you’ve made it more than clear tonight how you see things between us.”

Taehyung raised both eyebrows when he heard that. “What do you mean?”

You rolled your eyes. Did you really have to explain to him now what was bothering you? “Emmy didn’t even know who I was.”

He let the sentence sink in for a moment before enlightenment spread across his face. “Oh, that’s where that comes from… What would you have wanted to hear? That we’re together? We’re not, are we Y/N?”

“I just don’t understand you,” you said, not responding to him.

“I can say the same back,” he muttered, but you ignored that too.

“All evening you were so… so distant and your friends didn’t even know who I was and how we know each other. Do you know how awkward it was for me when Emmy asked that and then this answer came from you?” You waited a moment, but Taehyung’s lips were pressed tightly together again. “Do you think I didn’t feel the looks from Grace and Yoongi? The–The pity when they heard you just label me as an acquaintance?”

“Oh, is that your problem? Is it so important to you what others think of you?”

You didn’t respond. That was not the reason and he should know it.

“What was I supposed to introduce you as then?” Taehyung raised his voice now, showing just how frustrated he was getting. “Hi guys, this is Y/N by the way. We’ve been fucking for over three months, but I actually know absolutely nothing about her because she pushes me away every fucking time I want to get to know her better. Is that how you want me to introduce you next time?”

His chest rose and fell rapidly as he stood in front of you, completely out of breath, waiting for a reaction.

You had to swallow and turned your gaze to the floor as the corners of your eyes began to burn.

“Yes, I admit,” Taehyung continued, a bit more calmed but still noticeably upset, “I shouldn’t have introduced you as someone I just met at a party. But as what instead? What is this between us? You can’t tell me, and you don’t give me any clue about how you feel… how you feel about me. Sometimes I think you don’t fucking like me at all.”

“That’s not true,” you said meekly, but Taehyung snorted when he heard that.

“Please stop denying that you don’t act like shit towards me. One night everything’s fine between us and the next day you’re back to being so distant as if there’s nothing between us.” You held his gaze, even though you wanted to look away. “And admit to yourself how you feel. For your sake, but also for mine, please. And let me know when you’ve made up your mind, I just can’t take this constant back and forth.”

He took a step back as if he needed some distance from you after his confession. Then he slowly walked past you while you continued to stand rooted to the spot.

“Are you coming?” you heard Taehyung’s voice behind you.

“I can walk the rest by myself.” Your voice sounded weak, as if the conversation just now had drained all your energy.

Taehyung shook his head and nodded in the direction of your student apartment. “I’ll still walk you home. I’m not an asshole.”

If you concentrated, you could see the top of the roof in the distance. But maybe your eyes were playing tricks on you in the darkness. What was certain, though, was that the walk home would be unpleasant and long.

. . .

it’s a fine line between disappointment and anger

You shifted your weight from one foot to the other as your eyes flitted over the passing cars. You were on the lookout for Grace’s neon green old Ford Fiesta, although its eye-catching color made it hard to miss and visible even from a distance. When you took a quick look at your phone to check the time, you realized that you were already waiting for over fifteen minutes.

The others were late.

You tried not to be too irritated about it, even though you couldn’t quite suppress the feeling. After all, you had taken a cab to get to the location, which was so far out of town. By train it would have been a big detour and a long walk afterwards, so you had bitten the bullet and spent the money on a cab. Even though you couldn’t deny that you almost cancelled when you found out how far out the location was.

And you knew all too well the reason why you had come after all.

You just hoped that Grace and Yoongi would give you a ride on the way back, so you wouldn’t have to pay for a cab again.

You were about to reach into your jacket pocket for your phone again when you suddenly saw something green flashing in the distance.

“Finally,” you muttered. You watched as Grace pulled into the parking lot and drove around the corner a little too fast before the car came to a stop in a parking space.

“Sorry!” it echoed across the lot, barely after the driver’s side door was yanked open. “We’re late.”

Grace came rushing to you and gave you a quick hug. As she did so, you noticed how out of breath she was, and instantly your little pang of annoyance was gone. “We still had to pick up Taehyung and Natalie.”

Natalie?

You tried not to flinch at the unfamiliar name. However, you didn’t even need to ask who this Natalie was because at that moment a girl got out of the car and brushed the non-existing dirt off her tight black jeans. Your gaze was so fixed on her that you didn’t even notice Taehyung, who had also gotten out of the car.

Only when he was just a few meters away from you and Grace did you notice him. You couldn’t help but let your eyes glide over his body. It had been a long time since you had seen Taehyung in jeans, when he usually wore wide-leg pants. You couldn’t deny how outrageously handsome he looked in the light blue jeans and plain black T-shirt that revealed his tanned arms. You wondered if he’d done something with friends last weekend and been out in the sun a lot.

You felt an unpleasant tingling on your skin and turned your attention back to the strange girl who pierced you with her gaze. It surprised you that no one else noticed her deadly stare, but that’s when she briefly narrowed her eyes and averted her eyes from you. Like a snake, which gave its warning before attacking if you didn’t back away. The message was clear, even if you didn’t understand what she had to fear.

Taehyung and you, that was a closed book. Briefly flipped through it and then put back on the shelf. There, where it belonged and where it should preferably never be taken out again.

You hadn’t checked in for the past four weeks, and instead had locked yourself in your small dorm room preparing for exams. This had distracted you during the day, but at night you had often stayed awake. Your finger had hovered over the chat with Taehyung countless times before you had changed your mind at the last moment.

It didn’t work. It wouldn’t work.

Something inside you was still resisting, but now you didn’t have to act surprised if Taehyung had had enough of waiting. You had never been together. It was probably not difficult for him to move on.

And you had given him every right to do so.

But then why did your heart tighten as you looked back and forth between Taehyung and Natalie?

“Let’s go in, it’s all going off of our time,” said Yoongi, who was the last to join you. With a nod and a quick smile, he greeted you before you walked together towards the front gate. The path to the small, ground-floor building was sandy, and lost in thought, you kicked a few small stones in front of you that were lying on the side of the path.

“We needed one more person,” Grace snapped you out of your thoughts.

Confused, you looked up.

“To play paintball,” she elaborated when she saw your puzzled look and nodded in the direction of Natalie, who was laughing at something Taehyung had said. She then punched him in the shoulder and he pretended to stagger far away before laughing as well. Just a few weeks ago, you had been the one laughing at his jokes. “It needs five players minimum, at least that’s what the website said.”

“Sure,” you replied, even though you had barely listened to Grace. You didn’t care about the reason Natalie was here. You wished that you had chosen to stay home. But there was nothing you could do about it now, and you definitely wouldn’t bring down anyone’s mood.

So you put on a smile and hoped it would come easier in the next hours.

It didn’t take long at the reception, thankfully, so you were soon queuing up to borrow the equipment. During the induction training, your fingers nervously ran along the frame of the visor of your helmet that you had to wear. Purely precautionary, because the head was off limits, a paintball company employee explained to you.

“There is also another rule,” the employee explained in a firm voice that indicated that he had told this text dozens, if not hundreds, of times before. “Or let’s say good etiquette. If you’re close to someone and the person hasn’t seen you,” he paused dramatically and you wondered if this pause had been in his script or if he’d added it over time, “don’t shoot the person, say ‘Bang!’ instead. Even if they’re just little hardened gelatine balls, they can really hurt when shot at such close range. So don’t be assholes and take care of each other.”

Scattered laughter rippled through the three groups receiving instruction with you. As your eyes slid back to the staff member to hear if he had more to explain, they lingered on Taehyung and Natalie. Natalie signalled Taehyung with her index finger to her lips that they should listen. As she did so, however, her lips twisted into a grin and from the short distance you could hear her soft laughter.

Oh now you couldn’t wait to get on the field.

. . .

You hid behind a small wooden hut in the fenced area. As you tried to calm your breathing, you checked the end of the gun to see how many of the little colored bullets were left before sighing quietly in frustration.

You scanned your surroundings as you scrambled back to your feet, but there was no sign of Natalie. She was responsible for your team’s ammunition, and no sooner had the round begun against a group of strangers than she had apparently made it her goal to stay hidden not only from your opponents, but from her own teammates as well. You hadn’t seen her the entire round so far, and if you didn’t have a deep-seated grudge against her, you’d almost be impressed.

You were jolted out of your thoughts when you suddenly heard a dull stomping behind you in the house. The hut was small, perhaps two square meters, and consisted only of thin wooden boards nailed together. As quietly as you could, you turned around and tried to make out something through the small slit between the wood, but even as you squinted your eye, you couldn’t see anything except for the floor.

Suddenly, you heard something behind you.

You whirled around and raised your gun at the same moment, aiming it right at the young man who was just sneaking around the corner of the house and was about to surprise you.

You looked at each other perplexed for a moment before he turned his gun away from you and held up his free hand.

“I think we’re both out, aren’t we?” he laughed, and you agreed, smiling.

He helped you to your feet and you went to join the others, who were also hit and waited outside the area until the round was over. You were surprised that Natalie and Taehyung were the only ones left from your team.

When Grace spotted you, she threw her arms up in the air in disappointment. “Oh no! I think we’re losing this round.”

Yoongi stifled a grin at the pure disappointment in his girlfriend’s voice before putting an arm around her shoulders. Grace unconsciously rubbed her side, and as you moved to stand next to her, you asked, “Is that where it hit you?”

She looked down in wonder, where her hand was still rubbing the presumably sore spot, before nodding. “Those things really hurt, don’t you think?”

You shrugged. “I didn’t get hit. It was more of a mutual elimination.” You glanced to the side and saw the young man from the other team standing alone. His remaining team seemed not to have been hit yet.

No sooner had this thought crossed your mind than two unknown men suddenly joined you. Their faces reflected frustration and disappointment. Your eyes widened when you saw the countless paint splatters on their clothes.

“What happened to you guys?” laughed the other man when he noticed it too.

But the two didn’t answer him, instead they looked in your direction.

“Not a bad tactic,” one said, and the other nodded.

You were glad that Grace and Yoongi were as clueless as you were when Grace asked, “What tactic?”

“You guys completely overran us with all the bullets two of your team members had. We didn’t expect that at all.”

Grace muttered something unintelligible and the two men joined their teammate.

“You didn’t get any ammunition from Natalie either?” you asked in amazement, firmly expecting to be the only one who hadn’t seen Natalie.

But the other two shook their heads and Grace rolled her eyes. “I don’t know what her problem is. If I had known beforehand what a bitch she was, I would have told Taehyung to take someone else with him.”

Yoongi grumbled in agreement. “Taehyung’s taste in women is questionable.”

An uncomfortable silence settled over you like a heavy blanket. You didn’t miss Yoongi’s panicked glance in your direction, nor Grace’s elbow, which landed in Yoongi’s side.

“Sorry, Y/N… I didn’t mean that,” he apologized, but you shook your head and forced a smile.

“It’s okay.”

But was it really?

The awkward silence was interrupted by a loud roar and cheer, and a little later the last four from the fenced area joined you. Two of them reflected exactly the emotion that the two men before had as well, while the other two were in each other’s arms, cheering and laughing loudly, and almost stumbling into each other.

“We won!” Natalie announced, grinning broadly and visibly proud.

You didn’t need to look in Taehyung’s direction to notice that he was happy, too. You could hear it in the deep laughter that reached your ears.

But over their joy, they didn’t seem to notice that no one was rejoicing with them. A quick sideways glance at Grace told you how pissed off she was getting. To keep the situation from escalating, you stepped in.

As calm and relaxed as you could, you said, “Maybe you’d like to give us some of that ammunition, too, in the next round.”

Natalie’s laughter died away, leaving behind an ugly grinning grimace. With raised eyebrows, she looked at you and took a step toward you. “It worked, didn’t it?” She paused. “Y/N.” She literally spat your name at your feet. “Or did it hurt that much when you got hit? Oh no, little baby.” She raised her hand and pinched your cheek like grandparents used to do with little kids. With a quick movement, you pushed her hand aside.

“Ever heard of teamwork?” interfered Yoongi, who also took a step forward, easily getting between you and Natalie. You were grateful for the distance between you.

Natalie’s challenging gaze was on you for a moment longer before she turned her attention to Yoongi. “Don’t be such killjoys, geez. We won, that’s all that matters.”

The discussion between Yoongi, Grace, and Natalie passed by you as your gaze slid to Taehyung. Your heart stopped for a second as your eyes met for the first time this day. You tried to find something in his gaze, an answer perhaps. An answer as to how you could drift apart in such a short time. And an answer to why on earth he had had to bring Natalie with him.

Yet you knew the answer, and you knew you had no one to blame but yourself. Even though it had never been anything serious between you, Taehyung had given you the chance that it could have possibly become something more. If you had been brave enough. If you had admitted your feelings.

If…

If you had given each other and yourself a chance.

You had to avert your gaze and turned it to the ground instead. When you looked up again after a few seconds, Taehyung had turned his attention back to Natalie, who was still discussing with Grace.

“Hey,” one of the men from the other group interrupted the argument, “Do you guys feel like swapping through?”

“Sure,” Natalie replied without waiting for a response from the others first. “Why not?”

“I want those two on the team, though,” you heard one of the men say quietly to his buddy before his gaze shifted to Natalie and Taehyung. The other one laughed and that reaction made the blood boil inside you.

But that’s how it was decided before any of you three even had a chance to protest. Grace didn’t look like she was too sad about being on Natalie’s opposing team, though, and you were glad to know at least her and Yoongi were by your side. In addition to the two of them, you were joined rather reluctantly by the young man you had eliminated and one of the two who had been eliminated last in the round before.

Grace chatted with the two on her way to a new area, but you didn’t feel like talking. Usually you took the opportunity to meet new people, but today it kind of drained your energy. Either that or it was the annoying shrill laughter that could be heard every few seconds. Your ears were hurting by now.

“Wow, how cool!” Grace marveled as you walked through a large gate to the new area. And you too could only look around with your mouth open over the large plaza full of cars. At least you suspected that they were cars under the thick layer of paint, since they were barely visible. In the middle of the square diagonally stood a bus, which probably marked about half of the area. You could also make out an RV in the distance and many smaller cars scattered around.

“You can hide in the cars, by the way,” one of the men from the other group gave you a hint.

“Are you guys here often?” asked Yoongi with interest and the other nodded.

He raised his gun, which looked different from the one you were holding. “Custom-made, we all have our own equipment.”

“Of course you do,” Grace muttered and you had to laugh. “Shhh, don’t laugh,” Grace whispered, but had to laugh as well. The fact that your laughter didn’t please one person at all escaped you at that moment.

“Okay, we’ll each start from one side,” one of the two on your team announced, and you began to spread out across the course. More than once you almost slipped on the ground, which had become slippery from the layer of paint. You barely managed to hold on to the outside mirror of a car. A thick layer of paint remained on your hand and you grimaced as you wiped it off on your pants.

At least you had thought ahead and taken a change of clothes with you.

You looked at the RV that was in your area and before you could weigh the pros and cons, your legs had already carried you there out of pure curiosity. Quietly you opened the door to the interior and carefully closed it again behind you.

Even the interior was not spared from paint splatters, but there was much less in here than outside. You continued to look around the dark room, which was only sparsely lit because the windows were also covered in paint from outside.

“Shit,” you muttered as you realized what a bad idea that had been. You couldn’t see what was happening outside, and there was no place to hide in here either. The benches and kitchenette had been ripped out and only the small cubicle where you thought the toilet was, was still there.

With a sigh, you turned and reached toward the door to go back outside, when suddenly you heard voices. You couldn’t make out who it was or if it was someone from your team, but you couldn’t take the risk.

Cursing, you lowered your hand again and walked quietly but briskly toward the small cabin. You winced when the rotten wood squeaked as you opened the door, but continued with your plan. Not that you had a choice. In the darkness, you were able to make out that the toilet had also been ripped out, making it just a tiny, empty room.

You shut the door and squatted on the floor. Straining your ears, you tried to hear something, but except for your breathing, which seemed uncomfortably loud under your helmet, you couldn’t hear anything. Adrenaline coursed through your veins and your ears picked up every little sound.

Had that been the door to the RV?

You tried to make yourself a little smaller.

“I swear, I saw her go in here.”

The blood froze in your veins as you recognized the deep voice. You didn’t know why, but it hurt to hear that Taehyung had betrayed you just like that. And you didn’t need laser vision to know who was alongside Taehyung.

A second later, the door was yanked open.

Your eyes narrowed as you had to look at the sudden light that fell through the door, illuminating the person in front of you from behind. You only heard them laugh, which sounded somewhat muffled by the helmet and visor, before you heard a loud clack and a second later felt a sudden pain in your upper arm.

Before you understood what had happened, the sequence repeated itself two more times. A bullet bounced off the wall and hit you in the back of the head. You flinched as a sharp pain shot through you and instinctively grabbed the back of your head. Even in the dark you could see your fingers were yellow from the paint.

“Oh oops,” you heard Natalie laugh, “Bang.”

She giggled even as you scrambled to your feet and pushed past her. She didn’t step aside, not until your shoulder made hard contact with hers and she stumbled to the side.

“Ugh, someone can’t lose, I guess.”

Jumping out of the RV and almost running into Taehyung, you froze on the spot for a moment. Not a word came out of him and after a few moments you just gave a cool short laugh before shaking your head and walking towards the edge of the area.

The back of your head hurt and as you ran your fingers through your hair again, you winced, noticing how the color was already gluing them together. A curse stuck in your throat, but you tried not to let it out. Once you started, you wouldn’t be able to stop.

“We’re really bad,” Grace laughed when she caught sight of you. But you shook your head in response and silently walked past her. “Is everything okay?” One foot in front of the other. “Y/N?”

Her questions fell silent when you were finally far enough away. You went straight to the lockers and reached for your bag. The sudden jerk caused it to snag on the metal of the locker, which only made you pull on it more furiously. A few seconds of mindless pulling later, you let it go. As you brushed your palms over your face, you noticed how your hands were shaking.

So you forced yourself to take a few deep breaths before slowly grabbing the handles of your bag again. This time you immediately managed to pull it out of the compartment. The locker slammed shut behind you as you made your way towards the changing rooms.

. . .

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay with you?” Grace asked you this question for the third time and for the third time you nodded.

You said your thanks to the staff member who held out an ice pack to you and immediately you held it to the back of your head. By the time you had changed your clothes, you had already noticed the dark red spots where you had been hit and which would surely be blue by tomorrow at the latest. When you had pulled your sweatshirt over your head, you had noticed the thick and painful bump on your head.

“I really appreciate this, Grace, that you’re offering to wait with me,” you explained, “but you paid for this and you had fun, so I don’t want to spoil it for you.”

“You’re not spoiling anything for me,” came back the prompt reply. Grace was still holding your free hand as if she was afraid you were getting the next cab home at any moment. And to be honest, you would like nothing better than that right now.

Still, you rolled your eyes. “Come on,” you said, nodding behind her.

Yoongi was just heading your way, with a questioning look on his face. “What happened?”

Grace started to answer, but you beat her to it. “I got hit, nothing bad.”

But Grace grunted contemptuously. “Natalie shot her in the back of her head.”

“It wasn’t on purpose.” You didn’t want to defend her because you knew the two hits before that had definitely been on purpose. But you also knew that the hit to your head had been bad luck.

“Does it hurt much?” Yoongi didn’t join the discussion, but remained diplomatic. You gave him credit for that. Your head hurt enough as it was, you didn’t need another unnecessary argument.

In response, you shrugged your shoulders and pressed the cold pack harder against your head, closing your eyes briefly.

“Do you want one of us to stay here?”

“Not you too,” you groaned, and when you opened your eyes again, you caught sight of Natalie and Taehyung, who also joined you at that moment.

“Oh,” Natalie said, barely standing next to Grace, “you changed your clothes, Y/N,” she remarked as she looked down at you.

Grace’s grip on your hand tightened and you saw her jaw tighten.

Then you turned your gaze to Natalie. There was not an ounce of remorse or pity in her gaze. “Yeah, I’m out. Completely for today.”

“Oh no, what a shame!”

Taehyung on the other hand was exceptionally quiet right now and didn’t say a word. And you didn’t have the strength to look up and see the same look you saw a few minutes ago.

“Well, that’s just the way it is. Shall we keep playing?”

No one said a word and the uncomfortable silence increased by the second.

“Go on,” you said, squeezing Grace’s hand, “go on playing without me.” You gave her a significant look and Grace’s eyes widened briefly before a knowing smile spread across her face.

“Okay, let’s go!” she said euphorically, jumping to her feet. Then she pulled Yoongi by the hand with her.

Natalie didn’t take the invitation twice either and followed the two of them. Only when she had walked a few meters did she stop in wonder and look back at Taehyung, who hadn’t moved an inch. “Are you coming, Tae?”

You couldn’t hold back your bitter grin when you heard the nickname. When you looked up, Taehyung’s gaze was right on the floor in front of you. “Come on, Tae,” you said, and at your voice your eyes met, “your girlfriend’s calling you.”

Taehyung’s answer came directly without hesitation and his voice was cold as he said, “She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Just like I’ve never been your girlfriend? Is that the same between you two?”

“That’s not fair, Y/N… You were the one who didn’t talk to me for four weeks. It was as if you had completely disappeared from the face of the earth.”

He looked at you silently, his lips pressed into a straight line. He shook his head ever so slightly before turning and following the others without another word. You had to admit that you felt some gloating when he ignored Natalie’s outstretched hand and followed Yoongi and Grace without paying any attention to her.

. . .

“You should have seen her face,” Grace laughed, quickly covering her mouth when she realized how loudly she had spoken. You stood in front of the locker while Grace pushed her water bottle into her bag. Wordlessly, Yoongi held his dirty clothes out to her and with a roll of her eyes, she grabbed them and stuffed them into the bag as well. “Next time, bring your own bag.”

“Hm-hm,” Yoongi muttered, already having turned his attention to something else.

You exited the building and headed toward the parking lot. You looked over your shoulder, where you recognized Taehyung and Natalie a few feet away from you. The two didn’t say a word to each other and silently followed you.

“What happened?” you asked quietly as you turned to face forward again. You couldn’t deny that the mood between the two of them seemed tense, while Grace walked beside you almost jumping for joy.

“She realized it hurts when you get hit.”

Immediately your head snapped to her, “Oh God, what did you do?”

But Grace shook her head and you could see a slight smile on Yoongi’s face. “Not me.” She gave you a meaningful look that you couldn’t interpret. Or wanted to. “Taehyung.”

“Taehyung?” You were confused. “Weren’t they on the same team?”

“Apparently he got tired of her,” Yoongi said, and he too looked at you for a moment too long.

“And that’s not the only thing,” Grace directly followed up when Yoongi hadn’t even finished speaking, “He accidentally called her Nicole. She hasn’t spoken to him since.”

“Admittedly, he didn’t really talk to her before either.”

You had to swallow. Suddenly a fat lump had settled in your throat, making it hard for you to make a sound. Only when you cleared your throat did you start to speak. “Can we talk about something else?”

For a moment neither of them said anything and you felt the eyes of both on you. You had yours, however, focused on the floor in front of you. Grace was just starting to speak when suddenly a shadow appeared next to you in the corner of your eye. You looked up in surprise and were even more surprised to see Taehyung next to you.

He didn’t say a word, but just walked beside you. You opened your mouth, but you didn’t know what to say. Especially not in front of Grace and Yoongi. And in front of Natalie, whose footsteps you heard right behind you.

And was there anything to say at all? Or would all the effort be for nothing and just a little too late?

You eyed him from the side, letting your gaze glide over his tousled and windblown hair, over his nose and his lips. The lips, which formed slightly downward and the eyebrows, which he had pinched together in thought.

It seemed as if he noticed your stare, because suddenly he looked up and when your eyes met every trace of strain disappeared. A brief smile spread across his face before he turned his gaze forward again.

Arriving at the car, you tried to make yourself as small as possible in the middle seat so that your leg wouldn’t keep bumping into Taehyung’s as Grace rounded a corner. Your heart had been pounding up to your throat ever since you felt the heat radiating from him and taking over you completely. Your skin tingled and again and again your gaze slid to his hand, which he had placed on his knee. It needed only a small movement of your hand and you would be able to grasp it. You wondered if he would withdraw his hand or allow–

You quickly turned your gaze to the other side. But it was no better there. Natalie barely gave you room, which didn’t make your predicament with Taehyung any better. She stared wordlessly out the window since you got into the car and paid no attention to the conversations in the car.

Even though there wasn’t that much attention to pay there, because every attempt Grace made to start a conversation was met with a wall of awkward silence. A few short sentences, Taehyung, Yoongi and you returned before the conversation died again. On top of that, you felt Grace’s eyes on you through the rearview mirror every few seconds. You didn’t need to be able to read minds to understand that you were supposed to talk to Taehyung.

The next time your eyes met, you tried to shake your head as inconspicuously as possible.

This was not the right time.

Grace shook her head… and drove a little too fast around the next curve.

You managed to suppress the surprised yelp, but couldn’t keep your balance, so you fell into Taehyung’s lap. Your hand came into contact with his thigh, which you tried to brace yourself against.

“Oh,” Grace laughed, and you gave her an evil glare through the driver’s seat, “I guess I was a little too fast. Sorry.”

“Are you okay?” Taehyung’s deep voice startled you. You felt his strong hand on your shoulder and slowly he pulled you back upright.

“Yeah, sorry,” you apologized and your cheeks burned. Damn, Grace…

“Don’t worry about it. Nothing happened.”

But something did happen, just not the way Taehyung was thinking at that moment.

. . .

scary love

Your heart was pounding loudly in your chest; so hard it almost hurt. Your gaze slid from your perfectly applied makeup to your top, and you stared at the spot under your left breast for a moment, sure that you could see your heart beating. You shook your head and took one deep breath before grabbing your bag, throwing on a jacket and leaving your room.

The hustle and bustle of the city drowned out your noisy thoughts as you made your way to the apartment of the house party. When Grace had approached you about the party yesterday and asked if you were coming, your thoughts had inevitably drifted straight to Taehyung. The last time you had gone out at night was when you and Taehyung had had your fight. Even though that was nearly a month and a half ago, it seemed like it was only a few days ago.

But it wasn’t just your thoughts that had drifted straight to him.

As you got off the bus and walked the rest of the way, Grace’s expression came back to your mind. The much-important pause that had followed her question and right before her hesitant “Taehyung will be there too.”

You wondered if it would always be like this from now on. That you would have to be forewarned if there was a chance that you might run into each other.

You hoped that this would not be your future. That you could have a clarifying conversation with him tonight. And that he was at the party at all. You didn’t even want to think about the fact that you came to the party today for nothing.

The thumping bass and sweaty heat met you as you entered the house. Immediately, your eyes scanned the various guests as you walked through the different rooms on the first floor. Your heart stopped a few times as you thought you spotted Taehyung, only to be disappointed when it was someone else.

You were still a little scared that you seemed to feel so strongly about Taehyung. You didn’t want to imagine the pain if Taehyung rejected you. After all, he had been relatively cryptic in his statements, and even if… you had taken a few weeks to make your decision. The situation with Natalie still hadn’t left your mind. What if he showed up again today with another girl?

Your thoughts raced and your gaze darted through the crowd until finally someone entered your field of vision and you looked up slightly.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Grace looked at you with wide eyes and you were sure your nervousness was showing.

“Yes,” you answered her, your voice sounding breathless. Just like how you felt. “Have you seen Taehyung?”

Grace stifled a smile, but the corners of her mouth twitched up suspiciously, betraying her.

“He’s coming along with Yoongi. The two of them should be on their way.” She glanced at her phone and nodded once more in agreement with her statement. “Oh, Yoongi just texted that they arrived.”

Your heart skipped a beat and the nervousness became almost unbearable all at once. Nausea spread through you and you gratefully accepted the drink Grace held out to you, which you only now noticed. As you took a generous sip of it, you realized it was water.

“Thank you, Grace.”

“I thought it would be better if you worked this out sober.” She smiled at you encouragingly, but suddenly her eyes fell on something behind you. You were afraid to turn around because you knew exactly who must have come up behind you. You could see it in Grace’s smile and you inevitably wondered if you were looking at Taehyung like that. Or if he was looking at you like that.

But when Yoongi came up beside you, you couldn’t continue to stand rooted to the spot. You turned your head to the side and Taehyung’s gaze was already on you. For a moment, you stared at each other as if you were having a telepathic conversation. Then a small smile spread on Taehyung’s lips and you felt yourself relax abruptly.

“Hey,” his deep voice greeted you.

“Hi.” You didn’t notice Grace and Yoongi giving each other meaningful looks before they unobtrusively walked away from you and left you alone. You were too focused on Taehyung, on his face and his smile. He looked handsome, his T-shirt tucked into his dark pants, and at his neck you could make out a fine silver chain, its pendant disappearing under his T-shirt.

You had missed him. And you were glad to see him again.

And as you studied his expression, hope spread through you that he might felt the same way.

“Shall we–”, “Do you want–”, you started talking at the same time and you suppressed an eye roll as you laughed softly.

“Please,” he let you go first with that boxy smile you had missed so much.

You took a deep breath and laid out the words you’d been thinking about for the past few days. “Do you want to talk somewhere that might be a little quieter?”

Taehyung nodded without thinking twice. “Shall we go to my place? I’m here by car.”

Surprised, you raised your eyebrows. “By car? But you just got here, right? And since when do you have a car?”

His smile changed, taking on a hint of… was that embarrassment? “Well, I didn’t come here for the party.” Now he was grinning fully at you. “And Yoongi lent me his car.”

The words got stuck in your throat and you were incapable of more than a smile.

“Shall we?”

As you nodded, Taehyung led you through the crowd back to the front door. Every few seconds he looked over his shoulder to make sure you hadn’t lost him and were still behind him.

But you wouldn’t let him out of your sight again.

Silently, you walked to Taehyung’s car, but this time the silence was not uncomfortable. Instead, there was a certain tension in the air, as if you were both nervous about the upcoming conversation. No matter how it turned out, something would definitely change for you.

As the doors slammed shut loudly, the sound snapped you out of your thoughts. All at once, you realized how close you were to Taehyung. His right hand was on the gear stick as he put the car in reverse and pulled out of the parking space. You couldn’t help but watch him as he expertly pulled the car onto the road.

“Are you just going to stare at me the whole time, or do you want to talk as well?” Taehyung’s grin showed you that he was just teasing you because he had noticed your stare.

“Sorry,” you returned with a soft laugh, turning your gaze to the road ahead of you instead.

“How are you?”

Normally, you hated that question. It was a filler for awkward pauses when you didn’t know what to say. But at that moment, it was different. You knew that Taehyung was genuinely interested in how you were doing and that his question hinted at more than it showed at first glance. A question whose deeper meaning only the two of you knew.

Therefore, you pondered for a moment how best to answer this question. You decided to tell the truth. Finally. “I… could be better.”

“Oh?” Taehyung tilted his head and gave you a quick sideways glance.

Your gaze was on your feet as you continued to explain. “I’ve been pretty bothered by everything… All this between us I mean.”

“Hm-hm.”

“And I wanted to apologize.”

“Apologize?” Taehyung sounded seriously surprised. “For what?”

You sighed and let your head fall back against the headrest. “For treating you like that… I didn’t know what I wanted myself, and I expected you to know. That was unfair.”

Taehyung let your words run through his mind. “And do you know what you want now?” In one move, he parked in front of his apartment and turned off the engine.

You waited until he pulled the key out of the ignition and looked at you. “Yes.”

“And what’s that?” Taehyung’s voice was little more than a whisper, so soft that it was meant only for your ears. Afraid that if it left that small space of the car, that your mind would change again.

But it wouldn’t anytime soon. Rarely had you felt as sure as you did at that moment.

“Can we discuss this upstairs?”

Nervously, you followed him up the two flights of stairs, the mixture of your racing heart and exertion making you gasp a little as Taehyung unlocked his apartment.

“Would you like something to drink? Coffee, tea, water… I also have that lemonade you like so much.” His voice grew more distant as he disappeared into the kitchen. You heard dishes and bottles clinking as you waited uncertainly in the hallway until Taehyung finally stepped out of the kitchen with two bottles and you went into the living room.

No matter how you sat on the small sofa, you couldn’t stay still and had to change your position every few seconds. Legs crossed, once left leg up, then right leg. Then both feet on the floor, once half bent on the sofa–

Until Taehyung finally put a hand on your knee, forcing you to rest. A small smile played around his lips as he sought and finally found your gaze. “I’ve never seen you this nervous before,” he remarked, leaning back again after making sure you stayed in one position for now.

You exhaled before taking a sip of the lemonade and placing the bottle back on the coffee table. Your hands shook as you placed them folded back together in your lap. You heard the quiet whirring of Taehyung’s Playstation, which he never shut off, and which had already become a welcoming sound. It seemed almost ridiculous to you that you had missed that.

You cleared your throat and slid back and forth on the sofa again before finally getting to speak. You were so engrossed in your own thoughts that you didn’t notice how nervous Taehyung himself was and how he was hanging spellbound on your lips, hoping that you would finally give him an explanation.

“I’ve had a lot of time the last few weeks to think about… well, to think about the weeks before that. The paintball game in particular has given me a lot to think about.”

“I still wanted to apologize for that,” Taehyung added, “Nadine was really out of line. I shouldn’t have brought her.”

You grunted before you could hold it back, but decided not to comment on his mistake. Instead, you asked, “Then why did you? How do you even know her?”

Now Taehyung was shifting back and forth a little uneasily. “I know her from a few parties. She approached me shortly after that fight we had…”

The question hung in the air, but still, you had to have certainty.

“Was there something going on between you two?”

Taehyung hesitated to answer and you felt your heart sink.

Then he sighed. “We kissed, made out a little before I stopped. When Yoongi asked me if I knew anyone else we could take to the paintball game, she offered coming. I thought it would be a good idea to… um, well–”

“Were you trying to make me jealous?” you interrupted him, raising an eyebrow.

Taehyung nodded and rubbed the back of his neck with the flat of his hand, slightly embarrassed. “I know that’s stupid and childish. But I was just still so mad at you–at me, at both of us to be honest. You’d been so absent-minded with me, I just wanted to see some kind of reaction from you.”

“I’m sure you saw one,” you muttered, turning your gaze to the gray carpet.

“Yes, but not the one I wanted,” Taehyung returned, also muttering. “I never wanted you to get hurt. That’s what I told her as well.” There was silence between the two of you for a moment and you heard Taehyung take a deep breath. “I haven’t been in contact with her since, if you’re interested.”

You weighed his statement before nodding slowly and turning your gaze back to him. “You can have contact with whomever you want, Taehyung,” you began, and he started to contradict you, but you raised your hand, wanting to finish your sentence, “but I don’t want to tell you what to do and what not to do. Who you should have contact with and with whom you shouldn’t. If we start with such stories, we’ll get into a spiral again. But thank you for telling me honestly what happened between you.”

Taehyung waited a moment to see if you had finished talking before it rushed out of him. “I didn’t end it with her because I was afraid of what you would think about it. In the first place, there was never anything between us that could have been ended, and secondly, that was entirely a decision for myself. And I wanted to be fair to her. I know what it’s like to just be a replacement for someone and how shitty this feels. I didn’t want to do that to anyone else.”

“I didn’t know anyone had ever hurt you like that.”

Taehyung laughed softly as he recalled, and you were glad that the memory no longer seemed to cause him pain. You still had to work on that yourself, letting bygones be bygones and not projecting your experiences onto other people, other men.

“In my junior year… I can’t remember her name,” Taehyung began to tell, “I was fully into puberty and she was the first girl I really liked. You must know that I used to be quite the nerd.” He softly laughed about himself when he remembered that.

“A nerd? Pfft.” Looking at Taehyung now, with his wide black pants, muscular upper arms showing under his white T-shirt, and his whole aura radiating, you found it hard to imagine.

“Hey, don’t pfft me,” he complained, “I cared a lot about good grades and she noticed that. Of course, back then, I gratefully accepted any chance to do something with her. Even if it consisted of me doing her homework while she sat on her phone, probably texting her friends about how boring I was.”

“Ouch. That’s almost exactly like all those teen movies from back in the day.”

“And I was the poor nerd that the whole school made fun of behind his back.”

From the way Taehyung said this, you knew he wasn’t exaggerating. Your hand twitched as you reached for his hand, but you were unsure how far to go. Whether your touch was appropriate and, more importantly, welcome.

But he had seen that small movement and reached for your hand. Your fingers intertwined as if they were made for it and you wondered if that was the first time you held hands like that. At that moment, you couldn’t imagine a more intimate gesture.

“I changed schools my senior year and graduated. A fresh new start, so to speak.”

“I know what that feels like,” you agreed, nodding, and he smiled at you gratefully. His fingers painted small circles on the back of your hand and the skin touched by his fingertips began to tingle.

“It wasn’t an easy time for me, if I’m honest,” he continued, “I didn’t make any friends in my last year because most of the groups had already formed and I felt like it wasn’t worth it for most of them to make another friendship for that one year. But I could have tried harder. So I was glad when I was out of school.”

You tilted your head in wonder. “I thought you liked school?”

Taehyung threw you a small smile. “There’s a difference between liking learning and liking school. I always wanted to get good grades, even if that girl spoiled it for me a bit. Crashed a little bit after that, and really all I enjoyed was drawing and painting. I was glad that the university accepted me at all with my final grades. Because that’s not what a lot of people think, that you need good grades to study art.” Taehyung rolled his eyes and shook his head, laughing softly.

“Is that what you want to do? Being a painter?”

Taehyung thought about it for a moment. You could tell that he had a profession on the tip of his tongue, but seemed unsure of how you would respond. You squeezed his hand once so he would continue.

“I mean, there are many professions,” he began to explain, “I can stay at a university after graduation and pass on my knowledge to others. I think that’s pretty cool.”

You waited a moment, but Taehyung seemed to be pondering his thoughts. “But?” you asked because of that, and he turned his attention back to you.

“My dream is to open my own gallery. To support small artists and bring their voices to the public. And, of course, to exhibit myself, that would be awesome.”

“Do you have some paintings here?”

He looked at you like you’d asked a totally crazy question. And maybe you had. Sometimes you lived in your own world full of books from centuries ago that you felt a little detached from the present time.

Taehyung let your hand slip from his and got up from the sofa. He went to the large cabinet that took up almost the entire opposite wall, pulled open a drawer, and began rummaging through it. After a few moments, he seemed to have found what he was looking for.

When he came back to you, he had a large drawing pad in his hand, which he held out to you. With careful fingers you took the A2 large pad from him. The first small loose sketches fell into your hand as you opened the pad. Immediately your jaw dropped as you took your first look at what probably represented Taehyung’s most intimate thoughts and feelings.

You recognized many black and white sketch-like drawings that, at least you assumed, must have been painted with charcoal. It seemed like he had been studying different facial expressions, and that was a theme that ran through many of his drawings. Even your untrained eye could see that Taehyung placed a lot of emphasis on the expressions of his models. Anger, annoyance, sadness, more rarely happiness… you kept turning the pages and suddenly the drawing in front of you looked familiar. Or rather, the person who was drawn looked familiar.

It was you.

You looked up in surprise and met Taehyung’s waiting gaze. It seemed like he was reading every reaction on your face.

“Some people don’t like it when you draw them,” he explained.

You searched for the right words as you continued to flip through it and saw another drawing of yourself. In the background you saw sketchy hints of other people, and you wondered if this was supposed to be the night of the party when you two had first met.

Your index finger gently stroked the fine pencil lines. “This is how you see me?” Your voice was no more than a whisper. Your eyes fell on the date, written very small in the corner of the picture. You weren’t quite sure, but you believed that the picture had been taken on the very day after the party.

“What do you mean?”

Your gaze fell back to the drawing. The drawing strokes were deliberate and skillfully placed, as if he had done it a thousand times before. Only in the region of the face could you see eraser marks, and as you stroked over them, Taehyung laughed softly.

“It took me forever to get your face right,” he admitted, also letting his gaze slide over the paper in your hands.

“It turned out beautifully,” you breathed.

Taehyung looked up from the drawing and eyed your face for a moment before the corners of his mouth twitched upward. “Still, nothing like the original. Nothing comes close to that.”

You rolled your eyes when you heard that, but had to laugh softly. His comment reminded you of the night of the party. Already there he had been able to convince you, to your surprise, with his bad and exaggerated comments. You would have ignored anyone else, but even then you had given him a chance.

No matter what Taehyung said or did, he always made you feel that he meant it one hundred percent. And that was what set him apart from many men your age.

And that was the reason you were here.

Gently, you closed the sketchpad and placed it on the coffee table in front of you. “So,” you began, leaning back again until your back touched the backrest. Even though you looked relaxed from the outside, excitement and nervousness raged inside you. “What is this between us?”

Taehyung also leaned back and turned slightly to the side so that your knees were almost touching. With every second that Taehyung said nothing, the tension grew.

Then he cleared his throat and you flinched, so tense you were. “Hmm,” he began, studying your face. “There can be everything and nothing between us.”

You suppressed a snort, and instead a muffled sound of disapproval came out.

A smirk spread across his face when he heard it, before he leaned forward.

“Is that answer not acceptable to you?” His grin revealed that he knew exactly what you wanted to hear.

Needed to hear.

Because still your heart was beating up to your throat, afraid that you would get hurt. But luck was with the brave, right?

So you shook your head. No, you were not satisfied with his answer.

You also leaned forward so that you braced your elbows on your knees. Now there were only a few inches between you and Taehyung. You imagined even feeling his breath lightly on your face. Then you said, so softly that it was almost swallowed by the silence around you, “I want more than what we already had. I don’t know if this is or can become a relationship, but I want more than sex. I want to get to know you, your quirks and oddities–”

“There aren’t any,” he interrupted, grinning.

“There’s already the first one” you mumbled, looking at him seriously for a moment. Then a smile broke up your serious expression.

Taehyung just shook his head with a grin before his eyes fell on your lips. “Does that mean I finally get to kiss you?”

“Yeah.”

Taehyung raised his hand, slowly, and so gently that at first you were unsure if you were imagining the touch, before his palm and thumb rested on your cheek and his fingers caressed your ear and neck. Your breath hitched at the intimate touch and unconsciously you leaned towards the movement.

This was the moment when you threw every last bit of doubt overboard. The space that was finally vacated, after all these years, was filled with a warmth until you even felt the heat on your cheeks.

Taehyung now leaned forward fully and you closed your eyes at the same moment as his lips met yours. The kiss was soft at first, almost cautious, as your bodies had to get used to each other again. But it only lasted a moment before Taehyung opened his lips to intensify the kiss and ran his tongue along your lips. You willingly opened your mouth and allowed him to enter.

He explored your mouth and pulled you towards him by your hips until you landed on his lap with a soft “oomph”. He gave a low, satisfied-sounding grumble and his grip on your waist tightened, as if to make sure you wouldn’t vanish into thin air again at any moment.

Your fingers ran through his soft hair and you didn’t know where to touch him first. Everything was going too slowly for you and when you let your hips circle against Taehyung’s, he made a satisfied sound. His big hands eased off your hips and instead sought their way under your T-shirt. Meanwhile, the kiss grew more intimate and you both fought for the upper hand, even though you knew there was no answer to that question.

“God, I missed you,” he murmured into the kiss.

His thumb circled your nipple over the material of your bra und you arched into his touch. You felt him growing even harder between your legs when you pushed your hips into his. Taehyung bit your lower lip and elicited a whine from you. He grabbed your thighs and in the next moment he had lifted you up and laid you backwards on the sofa. Immediately he towered over you and you spread your legs so that he could find space between them. His mouth wandered downward, along your neck, remembering exactly which parts of you were particularly sensitive and making you squirm in his grip.

As he let his hips snap against yours, your moans echoed loudly in the otherwise silent room. He showed you exactly how hard he was, and your abdomen contracted as you thrust your hips upward, hoping to get more friction.

But Taehyung seemed to have other priorities at that moment and pushed your T-shirt up a little further. You shivered as the cool air hit your bare and heated skin, and when Taehyung sensed this, he rubbed your sides with his large, warm hands. His mouth also found its way to your stomach and he spread countless small, innocent kisses on the sensitive skin before he slid a little further back and straightened up until he knelt between your legs.

You were already out of breath at this point and looked at him over your rapidly heaving chest. He held your gaze as he slowly, but surely reached with his fingers to the clasp of your jeans and undid them. He took his time, after all, you were no longer in any hurry. Time belonged to you alone at that moment.

Taehyung helped you slip out of the tight jeans and threw them on the floor next to the sofa. He didn’t hesitate for a second and let his hands slide up your legs starting at your calves, until he finally reached your thighs and spread them a little further apart.

His gaze was fixed on the center of your body and his eyes flickered upward for a brief moment where your eyes met. “And I missed that, too.” He bit his lip while his gaze studied your body, as if he were absorbing and memorizing every little detail of you.

The air escaped you as you laughed out of breath. “I’ve missed you, too.”

This time his gaze was on you longer; it seemed like he didn’t expect that answer. Both of you would probably need a little time to get used to this new situation. But it didn’t scare you anymore. For the first time in years you had the feeling that someone accepted, even liked you, as you were.

And for the first time, maybe ever, you knew you were giving someone else that chance too.

He turned his gaze back between your legs and you had to moan as he stroked his thumb over the wet line that had already formed on the material of your underwear. Then he withdrew his hand and grabbed the hem of his T-shirt, which he pulled over his head a moment later. Immediately your hands grabbed everything they could find, his trained arms, over his chest and stomach. Until your fingers finally reached the waistband of his pants, where you paused for a moment.

You looked up and without breaking eye contact, you pulled the button through its flap and pulled the zipper down, before Taehyung slipped out of them.

Your breath hitched when you saw how hard Taehyung was. His bulge was significant in his gray boxers and when you saw that, you grabbed him through the material. He groaned and his eyes fluttered shut at the touch before he thrust his hips towards your hand. Taehyung grumbled in frustration as that wasn’t enough. Without further ado, he grabbed your hand to push it away and grabbed your legs instead.

Before you knew what was happening, he had spun you around so that you were sitting on the sofa again and he let himself slide onto the floor between your legs. He bumped into the coffee table behind him, clanking, and you watched the two bottles of lemonade wobble dangerously before they settled back down.

“Maybe I’d better move this one back a little,” Taehyung said more to himself than to you, and gently pushed the table back a few inches, giving him a little more room to maneuver.

Without playing any more games, he snaked his fingers under the thin material of your panties and you lifted your pelvis so he could slide them off of you. Then he grabbed your thighs from underneath and pulled you to the edge of the sofa. You felt his hot breath on your heated and wet center and let your head fall backwards onto the backrest.

“Did you know you have the sweetest pussy ever?” He gave you a quick glance from between your legs and as if by themselves your fingers found their way into his hair. Then he buried his face in your dripping folds and licked a long strip along your opening.

“Oh God,” you uttered as he placed the tip of his tongue against your clit and circled it. “Why are you so good at this?”

Taehyung’s deep laugh came from between your legs, and the vibrations from it sent more shockwaves through your body. He savored your taste, diving right in so that his nose grazed your clit and you unintentionally thrust your hips upward. He released one arm and held you in place with the flat of his hand on your abdomen.

His lips found your clit and when he started sucking on it hard, you let your head fall back and pushed his head even closer between your legs.

With a smack, he broke away from you and when he looked up, you could see the area around his mouth glistening. “You have no idea how delicious you are, Baby,” he murmured, replacing his tongue with two of his fingers that slid up and down, spreading your arousal. His fingers stopped briefly at your entrance, pressing the tips of his fingers inside so that he stretched you ever so slightly before running them along your labia again.

“Don’t tease me like that, please.” Your inner walls were pulsing around nothing, just waiting to finally be filled. Preferably by Taehyung, but if he didn’t hurry, you’d have to do it yourself.

“Oh come on, you love it,” Taehyung laughed softly, biting his lower lip as his gaze fell on his fingers, sliding in and out of you. He was giving you what you wanted, just not enough of it.

“Taehyunggg…” You didn’t care how whiny you sounded.

But your plan seemed to work, as Taehyung suddenly pushed them all the way into you. You stifled a moan as his fingers buried deep inside you and the heel of his hand pressed against your clit.

“Is that better?” Taehyung sounded breathless as well.

“Yes,” you gasped and Taehyung began to pick up a slow but steady pace with his fingers. You could hear how wet you were and that sound only turned you on more. “Taehy–” His name got stuck in your throat as Taehyung began to curl his fingers while being buried deep inside you.

“What was that?”

“Fuck you,” you blurted out between clenched teeth, but Taehyung knew you didn’t mean your insult.

“I’d rather have you do it.” And with that, all at once, he pulled his fingers out of you.

He eyed your torso and slid his palm over one of your breasts. Through the material of your T-shirt and bra, he let his thumb circle your nipple before pulling his hand back. “Take that off, Baby. I want to see you.”

You did and pulled both your shirt and bra over your head. When you turned your attention back to Taehyung, he had taken off his boxers so he was completely naked as well. He had taken a seat on the sofa and was sliding his hand up and down his cock. Drops of pre-cum had formed on his tip, which he picked up with his thumb when he noticed your gaze and reached out to you.

“I’m clean,” he mentioned immediately, “I got tested shortly after this started with us. Just to be safe.”

You grinned, grabbing Taehyung’s wrist and encircling his thumb with your lips. He tasted slightly salty, but barely noticeable, and with your tongue you traced along his thumb. You began sucking on his finger and heard Taehyung swear under his breath before letting it slide out of your mouth with a “pop”.

“Okay, enough of that.” He reached out a hand towards you and grabbed what he could get, which was your forearm, before pulling you towards him by it. You almost stumbled as you were pulled forward and just barely managed to brace yourself against the backrest next to Taehyung’s head. “Sorry, but I cannot wait.” He gave you an apologetic smile.

You placed one leg on either side of Taehyung’s hips and before you had settled on his thighs, he had leaned forward and taken one of your nipples into his mouth. Shuddering, you exhaled as he circled his tongue around the sensitive bud and sucked on it. You rested your chin on the top of his head and your fingers loosened the little knots that had formed in his hair at the nape of his neck.

“I love your body,” he said before giving your other nipple the attention it needed. “It’s perfect.” His hands traveled down your body and gripped your butt cheeks, which he kneaded. “You’re perfect.”

You reached between both your bodies to take his cock in your hand and slid forward a little. With slow movements, you lowered your hips and let him slide along between your legs.

“Oh god, Baby.”

Taehyung was now gripping your hips to get you into a steady rhythm. His cock slid so wonderfully past your wet opening, giving just the right amount of friction to your clit. You changed the angle of your hips and the next time you moved your hips forward, his tip lightly penetrated you.

“Fuck, wait.”

Taehyung looked to the side towards his bedroom before cursing again.

“You’re clean you said?” you asked, and Taehyung’s head snapped toward you.

“Yeah…”

“I have a contraceptive implant.”

His mouth shaped into an “Oh” as he understood what your statement meant – and the implications it had.

“We don’t have to, I can get a condom too.”

You didn’t miss the way he brushed his thumbs over your sides. To reassure you, or rather himself.

“I don’t mind if you don’t.” You tilted your head and looked at him, waiting. It was his decision now, even if you could see from his expression that he had already made it.

Then he nodded. “But I won’t last long.”

You snorted. He’d said that once before, after you’d had a particularly long foreplay. Still, he had managed to make you come twice.

You propped yourself up on your knees and guided his cock to your opening before sliding down on it a moment later. Each time he stretched you anew with his considerable size and you took a moment to get used to it again. Meanwhile, Taehyung stroked your back, up and down your spine, until you began moving your hips backward.

You let him slide almost all the way out of you before moving forward again.

“Oh, Love,” Taehyung moaned, and at the nickname, your hips stalled.

Taehyung seemed to notice his slip of the tongue as well and slightly panicked, he looked at you.

“Love?” you repeated, letting the nickname roll off your tongue. You didn’t think it was that bad…

“Do you prefer Baby?”

You shook your head, because the longer that one word buzzed around in your head, the more you liked the sound of it. “Love is okay.”

“Just okay then?” Taehyung grinned, the tinge of panic gone again as he noticed your relaxed reaction. “Hmmm…” He left you with the false expectation that he was thinking when he suddenly let his hips snap upward.

You drew in your breath sharply, followed by a moan. You didn’t know how he always did it, but he managed to hit the exact point inside you each time that made your abdomen contract so tightly that the knot already seemed ready to burst.

He held you by the hips as he pounded into you from below. He squeezed your arousal out of you with each thrust and you felt both of your excitement running down your thighs, while his hands kept you upright and in place.

“You–you’re so… so fucking wet and–and warm,” he pressed out with effort between thrusts.

Loudly, you moaned his name. You didn’t care if his neighbors heard you, or the people walking by on the street outside who would surely have to hear how well Taehyung was fucking you.

You raised your head, had you watched Taehyung’s cock split you apart before, and met Taehyung’s gaze. Your lips found each other in a passionate kiss and you pulled him even closer with desperate hands. One of his hands released its grip on your hips and landed hard on your ass. Your moan was swallowed by Taehyung’s mouth as he massaged the tender area.

You let one hand slide between your legs and circled your clit with your finger. The kiss was only interrupted by your moans as you were brought closer and closer to the edge of your approaching orgasm.

“Taehyung–”

“I got you,” you heard him say, your eyes squeezed tightly shut as the knot in your abdomen released all at once and you came, clenching hard around Taehyung’s cock.

Taehyung thrust into you a few more times before he too paused in his movements and pulled you back onto his lap entirely. His loud breathing mingled with yours as you both tried to come down from your high.

“Oh, you’re absolutely incredible,” Taehyung said after a while.

Your sweaty bodies had already melted into one and you felt Taehyung slowly go limp inside you. He sighed before pressing a kiss to your temple and gently lifting you from his lap with a firm grip and laying you backwards on the sofa.

He helped you clean yourself up, being so gentle that you didn’t even flinch as he wiped away the sticky remnant of both of your arousals. While he was putting the trash away, you grabbed your underwear and slipped them on.

You were lifting up your T-shirt when Taehyung returned from the kitchen, a glass of water in each hand. His expression changed when he saw you getting dressed. Wordlessly, you extended a hand to him to gratefully took a glass.

“Are you getting ready to leave?” He didn’t look at you when he asked that, but put exceptionally much focus on putting on his boxers as well.

You let him ponder for a moment longer before letting your shirt fall back to the floor. “Do you have anything more comfortable?”

Taehyung’s eyebrows drew together as he looked up.

You nodded towards your shirt in response, which was crumpled on the floor. “Maybe sweatpants and a hoodie?”

Taehyung seemed to finally understand and his disappointed expression gave way to a relieved smile. “Sure, you want me to get you something?”

You took the few steps towards him and let your fingers dance on his bare chest. “I was thinking maybe we could watch a movie? Order some food and just wind down for the evening?”

He looked at you, the question on his mind visible all over his face. “Does that mean… you want to stay the night?”

You nodded without hesitation. “Yes, I want to stay the night, if that’s okay.”

Taehyung laughed, a hearty, deep laugh that you hadn’t heard in so long. “You bet it’s okay with me,” he answered, pulling you into a hug. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “Love.”

Love. What a weird and funny little word.

You couldn’t wait hearing it more often from now on.

. . .

As always, if you enjoyed this story, please consider leaving me some feedback and letting me know what you think! That would mean a lot to me because I was really nervous to post this. Thank you! 💜

#kim taehyung x reader #taehyung x reader #bts imagine #taehyung smut #thebtswritersclub #bangtanarmynet #bts x reader #bts smut #bts fanfic #strangers to lovers

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clairecrive · 4 years ago

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“Holding horses”- Ronnie Kray x reader

this is for the anon that asked: Hello, could you do 46. "Please don't say that about yourself. Please don't believe that. You're so much more than that. You're so..." from the prompt list with Ronnie, please?

A/N: gosh it’s been so long since I’ve written for Ronnie. Hope it doesn’t seem weird. Also, I’ve just noticed that I’ve only ever written for him. I wonder what that says about me lmao. Anyway, hope you enjoy x

Warning: none, I mean it’s Ron but it’s fluff all the way

Taglist: @mollybegger-blog, @evelynshelby, @br0ck-eddie, @shadow-of-wonder, @innerpaperexpertcloud, @fandom--0verdose, @sopxhiea, @fuseburner (let me know it you want to be added or removed)

You had heard about the fight. You didn't bat an eyelid though. Given their job and simply knowing their dispositions, the twins were always in some fight. It wasn't exactly news. You could almost state that it was their routine.

However, the call you received from Reggie certainly wasn't.

Usually, you'd go to their bar to see Ronnie in the evenings. You tried to make it at least three times a week, not counting the weekend, but whenever they got in a brawl or whatever kind of fight, you'd always be there to welcome him.

Despite his burly looks and brash gestures, Ronnie deeply enjoyed your presence after such a display of violence. He said it grounded him. You also thought that you nurturing him, taking care of his wounds or simply touching him gently, stroked that sensitive hidden part of himself that made him so very Ronnie but was squashed deep inside him.

This time, it seems that it was that very part that had been bruised. Reggie had called to give you some heads up on how to deal with Ronnie now that he was going to see you.

Control was something that defined both twins. How quickly he could lose it particularly defined Ronnie.

He had never lost it on you, but you had been there when he had countless of times. While it was true that he was prone to anger, he was also very quick in cooling off. Maybe that only really happened when you were near but as far as your experience with him went, he managed to hold his horses fairly easier than anyone who ever witnessed his anger fits would think.

At first, you thought it was because he was in public and he had a reputation to uphold but you discarded that thought quickly as you realised that he didn't give a diddly squat about others' opinion of him. There were few who Ronnie cared for, they could be count on one hand. There were his twin and his mother of course and then you.

It took you a while to realize that you were among those selected few he trusted completely and when you started to notice how he tended to restrain his reactions when you were around, the awareness stroke you.

It was for you that the club wasn't being refurnished twice a week because Ronnie had broken everything in one of his fits. It was for you that the club wasn't suspiciously closed in during the busiest hours. The thought, wasn't as comforting as one would think.

It would be if it was Ronnie's way of shielding her from the ugliness of his world. And maybe in that played a small part in his behaviour. The biggest part though, was played by fear. His fear of letting you see the very core of him, that part that would always drove people away, scared them. The fear of loosing you.

You had never shied away from that part of him. When you had professed your love for him, you meant every little thing that made him Ronnie. But fear was an interesting thing, it didn't listen to reason nor logic. So all of your talks and reassurances would be rendered null by a word or two said by others if they happened to confirm what Ronnie thought was true. That he was a monster. That he was a freak. That he should be locked away.

When he finally arrived at the pub where you were waiting for him in his office, it took one look at the anguish on his face for you to realise that someone had rub salt in his never-healing wounds.

"Ronnie," you tried tentavily as you watched him pace the room furiously, hands in his hair, heavy breath as he tried at keeping calm. You knew better than approach him when he was like this so you stayed in your place behind his desk waiting for his anger to simmer even the tiniest bit to make a move.

It seemed as though he was loosing a battle to himself though 'cause not a second after you had opened your mouth, his fist hit the wall once, twice , three times before his head fell against it followed soon by his slouched body.

You watched as his back rised quickly up and down for a while and when you noticed it rising and falling in a less frantic rhythm, you knew it was okay for you to approach him.

"I know what you're thinking Ronnie," you spoke as you walked to him so as to alert him that you were moving, "Please don't believe that."

Your hands gently touched his muscly back before moving to his front so that you were embracing him. Your forehead pressed between his shoudlerblades and you let out a big breath trying to coarxe him to emulate your breathing. Only when his right hand gently closed on yours you spoke again, "You're so much more than that, baby."

At this he realised a shaky breath, his shoulders tensed remembering what were no doubts harsh words but relaxed when you pressed a kiss where your head had been. Not stopping there, you trailed butterfly kissed from his shoulders all the way to his neck and jaw. As your mouth moved up you could feel him relaxing more and more under your touch. When you raised on your tippy toes to press a kiss on his right cheek, he turned his head a bit to lean into your kiss. Taking him by surprise, you maneouvred yourself so that you moved under his raised arms and was now standing between him and the wall.

Human contact and closeness were natural remedies to get someone to calm down. Whether it was an universal knowledge or not, it had always worked wonders for Ronnie.

Welcoming you into his embrace, he lowered his arms so that they were around your shoulders while his forehead leant to meet yours. Taking his shirt in your fists, you pulled it to get him to get even closer to you.

Shifting your head a bit so that your mouth touched the shell of his ear, you whispered sweet nothings into it, remembering all the things you loved about him. All the things that made him so very special and that no one knew.

Five, ten minutes passed like this. When you felt his plump lips touching your shoulder, you knew that he was himself again. Rage had left his body.

Holding him tight, you searched for his eyes before speaking again, always in a soft voice, "Let's home, hm? I have a surprise for you."

Humming, he agreed with you and took a step back to give you space to move. He didn't move very far though, only a step back from you, one of his arms still on you. And that remained so even when you stepped out of his office and eventually out of the club, all the way home.

#ronnie kray #ron kray #ron kray imagine #ron kray imagines #ron kray x reader #ron kray x you #ronnie kray x reader #ronnie kray x you #ronnie kray imagine #the kray twins #legend #tom hardy #tom hardy imagines #tom hardy x reader #ron kray angst #ron kray fluff

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badgirlcovenrep · 3 years ago

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The Goddess' Blessing (of a daughter)

Chapter One

(NOTES: the raylla adopts Tiffany fic everyone's been asking for

this is going on AO3 once I get home from my sister's but I wanted to post here first. If you'd rather read it there follow me and I'll post once it's officially in there.

Obs: Tiffany is six in this. Mostly because I wanted to write our witch moms carrying their baby and canonically she's like ten so..... and she's also like severely traumatized. We'll get to the healing soon enough though.

+ Edwin is the best papa. And Scylla has p much already adopted this kid, she just doesn't know it yet.

It's half past six p.m when their train screeches to a halt at the Chippewa station. In all the chaos of the last couple of weeks, Scylla hadn't realized Yule was well on it's way. It is still mid November, but the station has been prematurely decked in civilian Christmas decorations, and almost every wall and corner twinkles in golden speckles and fake pine.

Tiffany had been dozing in and out of sleep on the bench next to her, holding tight to her stuffed parrot as well as Scylla's coat sleeve with her restless small hands that spasmed in pure energy even as she slept. Since coming back from Nicte's mission, Scylla had been in a frenzy to get everything ready for their trip, and Tiffany had followed her around the (no longer safe) safe house, clinging on to her attention with wide blue eyes. She'd always liked kids. Before everything happened Scylla even used to babysit for dodger families.

It was never a lot of money, but she appreciated the levity and humor kids carried. They had hope Scylla prayed she could one day get back. Hope that could only come from the fleeting innocence of childhood. But even then, Tiffany was special, she still had all those wonderful, bright things, and she carried them in bulk, spilling out of her tiny little hands for anyone to see.

Yet she was also touched by things so horrible Scylla sometimes shuddered awake in the dead of night, when her mind conjured up terrible nightmares of being in her place. Of being squeezed into a tiny cage, fed dog food, strung up on a stage as masked psychopaths snickered and passed around stones bigger than fists. It showed, sometimes, in how every once in a while her expression became somber and reserved. How she stopped mid-sentence, and Scylla could see the glint of tears in the corners of her eyes.

It reminded her of Raelle - Raelle, who'd sat in her bed just yesterday and snacked on the stupid expensive popcorn her mother had bought - Raelle, who also carried so much darkness behind her strong, steady demeanor - those were the parts of her Scylla couldn't help but want to protect, and as a result, those feelings also extended to Tiffany. Scylla lost a lot of people in her life, and she'd decided the day she found the child's parents that she would do whatever it took to keep her safe. Just like she wished someone might have done for her. Because that sort of hidden, desolate pain could just as well transform itself into something entirely awful if exploited the right way.

People around her start getting up from their seats, reaching to the compartments for their luggage, there aren't many of them making their way up North this time of year but they still fill the cart in humming conversations, deciding on what to do next or where to get dinner. Scylla takes this as her cue to skim her fingers through Tiffany's hair, gently nudging her awake, "Hey, T, wake up, we're here."

The little girl sits up, bleary eyed, and yawns, looking around at the commotion, "it's already Christmas?" She asks, catching a glimpse of the boisterous decorations set up outside.

"Not yet, no." Scylla chuckles, getting up from her seat to retrieve their own bags - they had everything the two could think to bring, and yet were still not much. A duffel bag for Scylla and purple backpack for Tiffany, with unicorn stickers and colorful buttons sewn to the front. Scylla had retrieved it, along with some toys and clothes, from the girl's home, "People just love decorating early."

"Oh." Tiffany quips, as Scylla helps her fit her arms into the straps of her backpack, then takes her hand in a steady grip once they are done, pulling the young girl towards the door to leave the train, "The lights are pretty!" She exclaims happily, blinking in wide eyed wonder.

Outside, November has definitely made itself known, and Scylla is glad they are both warm in their coats as the wind bites her cheeks until they turn a dark blush. She looks around for Edwin, not sure she'll recognize him from the pictures she'd seen Willa scatter around the house, but still willing to try.

For a second, in that moment, she thinks this might not have been a good idea. When Scylla agreed to it, she'd admittedly not been in her full faculties, brain too preoccupied with seeing Raelle again after so long to completely comprehend what she'd been offered.

After everything that happened, she can't help but be a little nervous to meet the father of her ex (?), the same girl she still very much loved. The girl who had run back to her in that dark forest a day before and clung onto her face until all they could breathe was each other.

If she thought too much about it, Scylla could still feel the soft, almost painful impact of her lips as Raelle knocked her off her balance and breathed fire into her chest like molten lava. It'd been so long, she almost forgot the kind of power Raelle had when she kissed. Like she was always on the verge of tasting your very soul. Their whole day back together before was so very delicate and tentative, air fizzling with electricity like the tension of a bow, pulled tight with an arrow ready to shoot.

The time they've been separated her heart was squeezed tight under an elastic band. Whenever she stopped to think, even for a minute, she could feel it taught, so very strained, reaching from the very inside of her ribs. It was there from the very start. The tightness was what propelled her diaphragm into breathing Raelle in that very first night they spent together, even if she knew she shouldn't, and then, it was what kept them orbiting around each other like their very own solar system. Never too far apart. Always wishing to be closer.

When they kissed in the clearing, hairs messy with the wild strumming of the bat just a few feet away, for the first time, she felt like the band released. The invisible string, so very tight, loosening from under her heart to extend around the both of them and wrap them in what Scylla could only describe as exhilarating, shaking relief. The touch of Raelle's cotton gloves, that she never thought she'd feel again - the taste of her lips, like blood and rain droplets and a mouthful of just her.

It left Scylla running on a high since she walked away from Raelle just the day before, in the early hours of the morning.

It's not how she hoped she'd meet Raelle's dad. Deep down, no matter how much she tried not to, Scylla had imagined herself, more than once, coming to the Cession hand in hand with the blonde fixer. In love and together, going home to meet the parents. It's bittersweet to be here with Tiffany instead, and she has to squeeze the young witch's hand slightly to ground herself from the urge to run.

To just take the child's small body in her arms and run- leave the station in lieu of a cheap motel, one with vending machines, where they could hide from the world a little longer.

When the witch looks down, however, Tiffany smiles reassuringly back at her, squeezing her hand slightly in return, and Scylla can't help the wave of affection that washes over her.

"Excuse me? Are you Scylla and Tiffany?" A voice coming from behind wakes them back from the moment, and when they turn, both come face to face with Edwin Collar.

Scylla's sure it's him. If not because he does still look quite a lot like the pictures she's seen, then because the necromancer can definitely see the telltale signs of Raelle written all over his face. It's mostly there in the kind drop of his eyelids, and the way his mouth creates tiny wrinkles of soft skin when he smiles, but it's there, nonetheless.

"Yes, we are, nice to meet you, Mr. Collar." Scylla greets, settling down her bag to shake his hand.

"Of course, it's amazing to finally meet you. Raelle talked you up a storm," he declares, chuckling proudly, "only good things, I assure."

"Oh, I'm sure I don't deserve that." She let's out, hoping it sounded more playful than it feels for her.

"Nonsense. You seem like a kind girl." The man decides, with a solemn nod, before turning to Tiffany, "and you- Tiffany, I'm very happy to have you with me this week as well, I'm sure we'll have lots of fun together."

"Thank you, Mr. Collar." The small blonde replies, half-hiding herself behind Scylla's pant leg.

"Let's go then. It's getting cold." Edwin finally declares, taking Scylla's bag from the floor without a question. The girl goes to complain, but he cuts her off before she can - "and don't fight me on this. Raelle also never let's me carry her bags, for once I'd love to help."

Scylla still wants to protest. Mostly because she feels that they have already asked so much - and she doesn't quite deserve the kindness - but he seems sincere, so she nods instead, and with the affirmative, all three begin their way to the parking lot.

"Is Raelle your friend?" Tiffany asks innocently, skipping happily over her boots.

"Uh- she- yeah, I guess you could say that."

"Well, you said we were going to a friend's dad's house." Tiffany notes. "Where is Raelle then?"

"About that-" Edwin stops in his step, "did you see her? How is she?" He asks, an uneasy tension settling over his demeanor as he studies Scylla for answers, "they told me she was alive but that was it-"

"She's okay. I saw her yesterday, she was well." The brunette assures, and that seems to send a wave of relief over the man, who breathes deeply before continuing their walk along the various cars.

"Oh, thank goodness." He sighs, "when those people took her I thought- I'm so glad she's okay."

"Yeah. We were all worried." Scylla declares. And this, she can relate to. The way he cares so much for Raelle, it spills into the very movement of his expressions. It's familiar, and it warms her heart. She decides right then that she likes Edwin.

"Did the bad people take Raelle too?" Tiffany questions, frowning in scared surprise as they reach Edwin's old truck.

Scylla sighs, not having revealed much of the mission she'd gone on the day before. She knew it'd be scary for her. Tiffany was still very much traumatized, and rightfully so, after everything she'd been through. But Tiffany was also very smart- and observant. She'd catch up eventually and Scylla feels stupid for not dealing with this before coming.

"Yeah. They tried to hurt her, but me and her other friends didn't let them." The necromancer assures, as she helps the girl into the backseat and clicks in her seatbelt, "she's okay now. We're all safe here."

"Oh- Okay." Tiffany nods, but Scylla can see the doubt shining under her eyes.

Scylla wishes she knew what to say, but words fail her, so she squeezes the girl's hand reassuringly once more, winking in what she hopes is humorous solidarity, before closing the door.

***

Raelle's house is just like she imagines- small, rustic - surrounded by a thick canopy of trees and bushes. It reminds her of the places she used to stay with her parents, scattered over random cities all over the U.S. Scylla likes it.

"It isn't much, but we always have warm dinner and pancakes in the morning." Edwin quips, humbly, as he leads the pair of witches to Raelle's room, "you can stay here. Hope it is comfortable."

"This is more than enough, Edwin." Scylla smiles gratefully, "it's too much, really. Thank you for letting us stay."

"Nonsense." He waves his hand with a half embarrassed chuckle, "It's good to have people here again. After Rae and Tally left everything feels a lot quieter." Scylla nods in agreement, as the man turns to leave the room, the two witches inside watching him carefully, "You guys should change and rest a bit- I'll call you for dinner.

Scylla thanks him, and waits until the door clicks behind his back to turn her attention to the luggage that had been settled over a random chair. The room is filled with so much Raelle, she can't help but notice the letters, pictures, memories and song lyrics, glued to every single wall, from a time before Fort Salem, before them.

The blonde used to leave notes on her dorm walls back at Fort Salem. Lots of silly things like "I'll be back after training" or "You fight people in your sleep. It's cute.". Scylla wonders if they are still there or if they've been taken by the army when she was captured. It doesn't matter anymore, the necro realizes, and she shakes her head in an effort to bring her attention back to the room.

"You should put on some pajamas." Scylla says toward Tiffany, who sat, grievously quiet, at Raelle's bed.

She looked thoughtful, in a way regular six year olds don't quite show unless they have to go through way too much. Her small, bright eyes hide barely concealed darkness as she shifts her looks everywhere but at the older witch.

Scylla sighs, finding this place - this relationship - so very painfully familiar. She'd been the scared little girl last time, feeling so very small and alone. And now, as the adult, she was definitely going to try her best not to fuck it. As difficult as it might be. The world didn't need another suffering witch.

After a few minutes of silence, Scylla realizes she was not going to get an answer, so she opens the girl's backpack and fishes out a pair of mermaid themed leggings and t-shirt, along with the small bag that carried her tooth and hair brushes along with some other toiletries. Scylla places the items by Tiffany on the mattress, kneeling in front of the young witch and studying her clear, soft little face.

"Hey. Are you feeling alright?"

"Are the bad men coming here to hurt us?" Tiffany asks, instead of a response, and Scylla frowns in worry.

"No, of course no-"

"They came and took Raelle too." Tiffany notices, tears escaping from her eyelids that Scylla dries up with her thumb, "and they hurt Miss Willa, the other kids' at the office and my mommy and daddy. What if they come here again? What if they really hurt us this time?" As the questions stumble out of her mouth, sobs begin to wreck across her throat until she's shaking, ever so slightly, with the force of her tears and heavy, panicked breathing.

Scylla sighs and rises from the ground to cuddle the girl close to her chest, squeezing tight until she can feel Tiffany's little arms squeeze her back. Scylla's afraid too - most of the time, if she allowed herself to be honest - Ever since watching Raelle leave her in that cell the year before, the girl could feel even more perfectly the path of death and destruction that marked their (the witches') way through the world.

One of the bad things about being a necro - Death didn't like not being known, and it showed itself insistently, to anyone able to notice.

"We don't know whether or not they'll come again." Scylla ends up responding, sincerely, as she squeezes her arms even tighter around the little girl, "but I won't let them hurt you, you hear me? I dealt with them before, I can deal with them again."

"No" Tiffany shakes her head, frowning up at her in teary-eyed fear, "You too. You're safe too. I don't want you to get hurt either."

"Hey." Scylla forces out a chuckle, trying to lighten up the situation for the young witch's sake, "don't be silly, ok? I'm pretty much invincible."

Tiffany doesn't laugh, her breathing having somewhat returned to normal. The girl just stares back at Scylla with a seriousness that's all too unfair, coming from a six year old, and she reaches out, her pinky finger lifted in expectation, "Pinky promise you'll be safe too? Please?"

Scylla knows she shouldn't. The truth is, she doesn't know what will happen. After their plan to capture Nicte was said and done, Scylla barely had any idea what she would be doing now. But Tiffany obviously needs the reassurance, from the way she stares ever so desperately at the necro's face.

"Okay, I pinky promise." Scylla smiles, trying to convey some calm toward the other girl as she let her pinky link with the smaller one. It seems to work, as Tiffany's expression softens and her tense posture falls, "now let's get you under a shower and into some pajamas, ok? You're a very smelly little witch right now."

"Am not!" Tiffany replies, and Scylla can't help but full on laugh this time, pulling the small girl to Raelle's bathroom as she mockingly protests.

Second chapter is almost done, just needs to be read over for mistakes. For C2, Raelle calls home, Scylla meets old dodger friends and she also has an important conversation with Edwin.

Hope you guys enjoyed!

#motherland fort salem #scylla ramshorn #raelle collar #raelle x scylla #motherland: fort salem #raylla #taylor hickson #amalia holm #mfs tiffany #tiffany mfs

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evierena · 4 years ago

Text

The Demon Brothers catching MC listening/Dancing to their songs

I know that Belphie’s song has been out for a while now, but I still wanted to write something to celebrate all seven songs were blaring on replay on my phone so, here it is.

INTRO:

For this time around, MC (and Solomon) has somehow convinced Diavolo that in the human world, people felt more at ease with music, with songs that reflected the character of the singer and that could move their hearts.

So, to further expand this idea and to see if it could prove useful to his goal of uniting the realms, the Demon Prince entrust the task to none other than the demon brothers.

Now, with all the songs out and blaring all over the Devildom, MC had found themselves to be quite fascinated by a particular song they just couldn’t stop replaying.

And what happens when the author of said song catches MC singing and dancing along? Let’s see…

Lucifer

You were waiting for him in his study, so probably you shouldn’t have expected much privacy really.

But, in all honesty, how could you not sing along to Arcadia?

The music was alluring, and his voice was simply enticing, it compelled your body and soul to let go, to allow being embraced by Lucifer.

So you did.

You had forgotten your headphones, so you just had your D.D.D blaring Arcadia on replay, and once the lyrics began, you started signing along, your already dancing hips gaining rhythm and sensuality as the song progressed.

And while you were having a blast, dancing and signing in Lucifer’s study to his song, he was right outside, with the door half open, staring at your figure.

He was as captivated by your dancing as you were by Arcadia.

His heart was both full of love and pride, although he would only publicly admit to the latter. Because, you already knew about the first. And that was enough for him.

In one of those twists and turns you did while dancing you finally lock gazes with the deep crimson irises of Lucifer.

But, instead of stopping all together, you were encouraged by his powerful eyes, and decided to continue signing without breaking eye contact.

Lucifer was amused to say the least, by your little show, and he started to approach you with slow, determined strides until you both were inches away from each other.

The atmosphere grew heavy with his proximity, and you found yourself lowering you tone, adapting it to a soft whisper only loud enough for his ears.

His hands found purchase in your hips, stilling your movements, and to your surprise he joined you in your quiet singing.

And like that, both enraptured, lost in each others eyes, basking in the others presence, the song ended.

Your D.D.D ran out of battery, and the study was suddenly filled with tentative silence.

Lucifer had a smirk in his lips and you were smiling, your hands traveled to his shoulders, and you reach out to him to close the final gap between his mouth and yours.

But just before sharing a kiss that promised so much more, you both were startled by a loud crashing noise somewhere in HoL, and then a series of cursing and screaming.

Let’s just say that the punishment for whoever it was that interrupted Lucifer’s and his human moment was… terrifying.

However, that night you received a visit from Lucifer.

“Why don’t you sing for me again, my dear?”

Mammon

Mammon had invited you to a night out in the casino, and for such a thing you had decided to doll yourself up a little in your room before going out.

That’s what you were doing, when Are you Ready? Started to play in your D.D.D and well, you started to dance in front of the mirror.

The song always managed to bring a big ear to ear smile to your face and it brought out your party self. You really enjoyed it.

The music was so fun and Mammon’s voice reached the best parts of your heart and soul. And the lyrics, in your opinion the lyrics were the best part, specially because you had been there when Mammon was writing them.

It just warmed your body and made you happy.

Speaking of Mammon, he was on his way to pick you up, when he noticed you door was open so he let himself in, just to found you dancing and singing to the mirror his own song.

A deep blush spread in his cheeks, his eyes not entirely comprehending that his human looked that happy, making funny faces and dancing while listening to his song.

Once you caught onto the figure behind you through the mirror, you could see that the fiery blush on your demon grew even deeper. And so did your smile.

So, in your Are you Ready? Induced state, you went for him across your room.

Mammon tried to stop you, but in all honesty, we all know he could never say no to you, not really.

So you brought him next to your still dancing body and spurge him on to do the same.

It took a few seconds for his brain to process the situation, but once he saw the true joy and affection shining in your eyes, he felt himself relax and follow your lead.

Fortunately, the song was on replay, and your speakers were connected to your D.D.D so finally, both you and Mammon fall into a semi party just dancing, jumping to the rhythm, singing along and enjoying the others movements.

Eventually, Lucifer appeared and order both of you to shut up, and in giggles, with your cheeks aching, Mammon and you sneak your way out of HoL, and once you were in his car, on the road to the casino, he put Are you Ready? Again in the speaker of the vehicle.

All the way, both of you sang to the night in the Devildom, him stealing glances at your ecstatic face, and you staring at him while signing using your D.D.D as a pretend mic.

Once you reach the casino, Mammon felt so happy and elated to have you right by his side while he gamble his money away, he actually did manage to win a small fortune.

You both were in a rush with adrenaline pumping and serotonin flooding your brains, you suddenly found yourselves back in Mammon’s room.

Where he catch your body with his, and he stared deeply into your eyes, showing off his white pearls, no glasses covering his eyes so you got lost in the beautiful, divine blue and yellow.

“I’m just crazy for you, MC”

“And I’m madly in love with you, Mammie”

Leviathan

You wanted to surprise him, ok?

It’s just, you really appreciated that he had gotten over his insecurities and power through the whole recording and making of the song. So you wanted him to know that it meant a lot for you and that you truly loved his song.

So you got a Ruri-chan cosplay from Akuzon, pretty much spending all of your savings in a really good one, made up from scratch a choreography for My Chance! And went to work

With all of this motivation you were in the planetarium, recording video after video to just make sure everything was perfect. Of course, it was not your intention to post the video, after it was ready, you were going to send it to him privately.

But, of course, when did things go exactly the way you wanted them to without complications?

Yup, pretty much NEVER.

Honestly, I couldn’t blame you either, after being dressed up, dancing for at least three hours consecutively, perfecting your moves, editing and deleting the unwanted clips, pretty much being exhausted AF, you just hit the wrong button without realizing and post it to the DevilTube channel you had with the brothers, besides sending it to Levi.

Well, good news: it went viral. Bad news: it went VIRAL.

Leviathan couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw the video.

You were so, so, so cute!!! And he couldn’t understand why would you choose HIS song to make such a good video? Like, why would you want something he made (with you in mind of course, but he couldn’t for his life say that out loud without combusting) a icky otaku like him?

So, after you realized your mistake you went to his room to clarify things.

Boy, was he flustered just by seeing you. Although you weren’t wearing the cosplay anymore, he couldn’t make eye contact without blushing furiously, stutter and imagining you in all sorts of different cosplays.

When you explained that you wanted the video to be something private for just the two of you as a token of appreciation for his song, because you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, he understood and said thank you in between stutters and mumbles.

But you also said that you weren’t ashamed that everyone got to see you enjoying his song, almost as if you were bragging about him.

By the end of the day, he truly believed that you loved his song, and somehow both of you had agreed to make another video, dancing along My Chance! But as Henry and Lord of the Shadow.

“And I’ll be the one to make our cosplays!”

“Of course, Levia-chan”

Satan

In all fairness, you hadn’t realized he was there the whole time you were in the library, trying to study but miserably failing the moment Read My Heart started to play in your earphones.

Singing softly, almost to yourself, your eyes unfocused on the textbooks in front of you, slowly rocking your head side to side, tapping your fingers as if playing the piano, you were enjoying Satan’s song.

You didn’t even felt the green eyes of the blond demon zeroed in on your form, and he wasn’t sure whether he liked it or not.

In the beginning he just followed the quiet noise because it was distracting him from his reading, until he noticed it was you, and after paying more attention to your voice he realized you were singing his song.

A faint blush spread on his cheeks, but his eyes couldn’t stray away from you unaware of your audience, you continued signing over and over again.

He felt warmth, feeling all fuzzy and giddy in the inside without showing much in the exterior, but the small, tender smile he wore in his beautiful face along with the pink in his cheeks said otherwise to anyone who looked.

Lucky for him, it was only the two of you in that moment.

So he decided to indulge himself in the adorable sight that was you, softly and inadvertently signing for him.

However, soon enough he just wanted to be closer to you, so he did.

Slowly, he approached you until he sat beside you.

That’s when you finally noticed him.

You stared at his eyes, and found a glint of amusement at your bashful reaction, but the tenderness in them and his own blush eased your nervousness.

You stopped signing, but he took one of your earphones and put it in his own ear, and then, he also started to softly sing along.

Wide eyed, heart throbbing and your soul melting at the sight of his deepening blush, you let yourself listen to his voice only occasionally adding your own.

Somehow, you ended up resting your head in his chest, and he used one arm to bring you closer, your earphone long forgotten, your ears capturing the sound of his heart in his chest and his soft singing.

After he ended one last time, you sneaked your arms around his midsection.

“It truly is a beautiful heart, Satan”

“And it’s yours, MC”

Asmodeus

On your way from RAD, you had passed by Majolish, and, through the window, caught a glimpse of the pink haired demon, dressing in what appeared to be another brand new outfit, posing in front of mirrors, being praised by a group of lesser demons.

You saw the practiced, smooth smile and postures Asmo was putting on, and couldn’t help but remember when both of you were in his room while you were trying on face masks among a bunch of other products, how carefree and relaxed he looked, how even his flashy and over the top personality had seemed to be calmed down a bit, and how he just enjoyed your presence and allowed himself to be engulfed in the comfort of the moment.

A tender smile sneak its way on your face, watching attentively as he continued on posing through the windows, and you started absentmindedly singing the lyrics of Pomade.

Not long after, Asmodeus locked gazes with you, and your heart flutter at the immense and dazzling smile he flaunted in his beautiful face.

So you continued on with your one-man audience performance.

He mantained eye contact through the mirror, and eventually he understood by reading your lips what you were saying, which brought a bashful blush spread on his cheeks that punch the air out of your lungs.

It should have been illegal to look that exquisitely magnificent. You thought it was fair since he was indeed a demon.

Finally, tired of not being right by your side as you made his own heart throb with such a gentle affection, he grab his bags filled with new products and gifts for the both of you to share, he made his way out of Majolish.

He found you waiting for him with a smile, open arms and sweet benevolence in your eyes, he almost melt instantly in your embrace.

Asmo, with a teasing smile said:

“Baby, you want my love?”

“Yes, I need your love”

Beelzebub

In the middle of the night, you and Beel had decided it was time for a snack. So now, in the kitchen, while you tried to keep as quiet as possible, you watched the gentle giant of a demon that was him, working to make the both of you a few sandwiches and some other snacks you knew he would eat the most of.

You both were sharing AkuPods, and you were in charge of the playlist for the silent raid to the fridge.

Suddenly, Hungry Six-Pack started playing. A fond smile formed on your lips, noticing that the demon himself didn’t seem to realize what was playing on his ear, so you began following the lyrics, making small movements to go along with rhythm.

You gained confidence, and a little mischievousness, so you boldly turned up the volume of your voice. Little by little, your dancing became more jumpy and louder.

Finally, while you were immersed in one of your twists and turns, you felt the warmth of a chest on your back and strong, gentle arms surrounding your dancing figure.

Giggling freely in Beel’s arms, you continued singing to your favorite song. It didn’t took you by surprise when you hear him behind you, joining your little display of talent.

Fortunately, you were able to discern the steps of someone coming over to the kitchen, and as you and your sweet demon scurried back to the safety of his room, the song kept on playing on your ears.

Once inside his room, you flopped into his bed, a wide smile on you, finally being able to see the pure adoration plastered in the orange haired demon towering above you.

“Forever?” he asked.

“Forever, Beel”

Belphegor

Late at night in your room, unable to sleep, your D.D.D screen the only source of light, you were absentmindedly reading a children’s book that you had downloaded earlier that day.

Still, dreams seemed to elude you that night, so defeated you stood up and went to your switch, to distract yourself with some doodling on your desk.

You put on your favorite soft playlist to further help you in getting sleepy.

Then Dreamscape started playing.

Firstly, your moved your head to the rhythm, then your fingers stopped holding your doodles and followed the lead, later, you started humming.

So, you let yourself be comforted by Belphie and his voice, staring through the window, unfocused on the bright Devildom moon, recalling the demon’s face and his gestures while you gave in and began singing the lyrics.

The soft music unexpectedly didn’t get you sleepy, if anything it reinvigorate you by bringing happy memories of the two of you, dissing Lucifer, sleepovers in the attic, some with Beel others not, stargazing, sleepless nights like the one you were experiencing right then just talking about dreams and their very weird, complex, simple or absurd meaning, or, of course, just basking in the others company in a comfortable silence.

Absentmindedly, you had keep on singing and what you didn’t know is that your favorite cuddle buddy was right behind your door, struggling to hide the blush on his face at hearing you sing his song, pondering on whether leave you be or demanding to sleep together.

In his own side, lost in his thoughts, he missed how your voice was approaching the door, you were also on a mission to find him to sleep by his side.

Once you both were face to face, it became obvious what had happened, so you let a small giggle leave your lips, and grabbed him by the arm, turning off the lights, forgetting the doodles in your desk and dragging him to your bed.

There, both of you snuggle closer until the maximum amount of coziness was reached. Limbs tangled between the two, Belphegor’s head ended up resting in your chest, his arms surrounding your midsection, while your hand played with his hair.

In the quietness of the atmosphere, you dared to once more humming the melody of Dreamscape, to your surprise, that earned you a tighter hug and a satisfied hum from the sleepy demon.

By the end, the only thing you could murmur, eyelids barely open and voice hardly understandable, was:

“G’night, Belphie”

As the seconds went by, you fell asleep without consciously hearing his answer, but your dreams were filled with that simple phrase and the face of the demon in your arms.

“Good night, MC”

Thanks for reading and have a peaceful week!

Here's a little playlist with all the songs and audios from Obey Me!

Atte.- Evie

Let's see if you can guess my top 3 favorites from this HC 👀

#obey me shall we date #obey me #obey me mammon #obey me lucifer #obey me asmodeus #obey me headcanons #leviathan x mc #lucifer x mc #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #mammon x mc #GN MC #satan x mc #asmodeus x mc #beelzebub x mc #belphegor x mc #character song

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skellebonez · 4 years ago

Note

SO, remember that thing you wrote a while back, about Monkey King and Mk time traveling back to the JTTW time period?

Link to said thing: https://skellebonez.tumblr.com/post/647766968590581760/18-for-present-wukong-and-mk-to-accidentally-time

THIS? RIGHT WELL, I HAVE HAD IT OPEN IN MY TABS FOR A REALLY LONG TIME AND WOULD LIKE TO GIVE YOU AN OPENING TO CONTINUE WITH IT IF YOU'D LIKE: PROMPTS 34 and 41

So. Time travel is funky. This is set post-Special, immediately pre-season 2. But has spoilers for events up to S2E7. For reasons. Side bar: sometimes time travel comes with some fun side effects. Fun for the viewer. Less fun for the people experiencing them.

Truth be told, I forgot they were even here./Can you teach me how to do that?

"Won't this cause some kind of... I-I dunno, time paradox?" MK asked in a harsh whisper as they followed the traveling group at the back of the line. "Or is this gonna be some kind of 'you changed one thing and now two timelines exist' kind of deal?"

"I genuinely have no idea," Wukong said with a sigh, digging at the uncomfortable but familiar feeling in his ear and trying to keep his voice down as much as possible. He was honestly surprised that it had taken MK this long to ask this particular question, but then again... they had other things to worry about. "I don't remember this, but that may not even matter. I've around for centuries, Bud, but even I have no idea how thing works for us."

"That is not a comforting sentence."

It had been a little over two days since the mentor and student had found themselves thrown backwards in time a few centuries away from home. And Sun Wukong could tell that MK was starting to get more and more frustrated as time had gone on. To be fair, they had made little progress. And there was... another reason... multiple other reasons. But most importantly, there wasn't exactly a power source they could plug the machine into that would give them enough juice to send them home, at least not unless they chance by a demon with lightning powers that Wukong didn't remember. No, instead they had to wait until they hit a storm.

One that was more than another two days walk away.

The young man did his best to not let it show, however. Most likely because of who they were traveling with.

His younger self lead the group, pointedly not looking back at them and keeping a watchful eye for demons that the elder Wukong knew would not come. He dared not bring this knowledge up, though, not knowing if MK had a point about that paradox. He didn't seem to trust the completely, but there was someone else he trusted.

Behind him was his former Master. The monk Tripitaka, Tang Sanzang himself, on the back of the horse formed dragon Bai Long Ma. Bai Long Ma had said nothing, as they were wont to do, and seemed to mostly ignore the two of them unless they were loud. Mast- Sanzang. He had insisted that the elder Wukong and MK call him Sanzang. Probably to help differentiate who was speaking to him if he could not see the two immortal monkeys, and also because MK kept trying to figure out which title to use for the monk and he took pity on him. Sanzang, after a hour's long explanation and from proof via MK's phone and knowledge of past adventures none should know of (and one very interesting game of staff trading between the two monkeys for a moment where the younger Wukong realized it was indeed the same staff).

Sanzang had not mentioned his crying when they met. Neither had his younger self. Or MK.

Zhu Bajie and Sha Wujing took up the rear. Wujing had not said much to the two of them, but he was nice enough. Suspicious of them, but nice. He put more faith in Sanzang and younger Wukong (perhaps he should call him something else in his head) than his companion.

Bajie didn't trust them as far as he could throw them, that was clear from the way he kept glancing back at the duo with daggers in his eyes. He was immediately unhappy with their new travel companions and... Wukong realized with a sad jolt that he actually missed that. At the time he only found Bajie's contrary nature to his own to be frustrating but now... now he hadn't heard that in 500 years and he could see that while it may have been misguided at times (many times) it was born of a sense of self preservation and a want to protest Sanzang.

Even if he contradicted himself at times as well.

"You two doing ok back there, older me and Kid?" Younger Wukong called back suddenly.

"Yup, just. Hanging." MK yelled back, tone as terse and done as it had been for the last day. "Not like I can do anything else." The second bit was muttered under his breathe, most likely in the hopes even his mentor couldn't hear him. He was wrong.

Wukong felt... bad. Because he was the primary source of this rotten mood.

The staff digging into his ear for the first time in centuries was a reminder of that. An agreement between himself and his student to not bring up any undue suspicion and questions that would take time they may not have to get back home. They'd agreed that the group would also call him Kid, since MK wasn't as fond of the others calling him Bud for some reason, and the name was just... a smidgen to close to Monkey King to not raise similar questions. It was also a reminder that Wukong had let slip in a follow up conversation, away from prying ears, about why this may or may not be really necessary that he had planned to leave the next day in present time.

MK hadn't been happy since. Not with him at least.

"Bajie, remember to ask them how they are doing from time to time. Please?" Sanzang insisted in front of them.

"Truth be told, I forgot they were even here," Bajie lied.

Bajie glowered down at Wukong, throwing the fruit and wrapped rice packages in his general direction and not caring whether he caught it or not. There was a soft and disappointed cry of his name from Sanzang from the other side of the camp.

"Master and the stupid Monkey may trust you," he snorted, ignoring the call and looking between Wukong and MK. "But I don't. If you even so much as set one little toe out of like I will re-"

"Rend our souls asunder with your mighty 9 Toothed Rake, yeah," MK sighed as he used some of the water from his cup to wash the berries thrown at him. "You're Zhu Ganglie, Zhu Bajie, Tiānpéng Yuánshuài, commander-in-chief of 80,000 Heavenly Navy Soldiers. You will kick our asses. We know."

For a whole second Zhu Bajie looked genuinely surprised and... kind of impressed.

Then he scoffed again and made his way back to the group of five and watched them from the edges of his vision with less suspicion and more curiosity than before.

"Mei was right when she said he was kind of like Pigsy," MK noted, popping a berry into his mouth.

"When was that?" Wukong asked, doing much the same.

His student froze, looking down at his hands for a moment as if trying to remember something. "... not important. Let's just eat and get some rest, like Sanzang told us to."

It didn't take a Great Sage to realize something was wrong.

Wukong said nothing.

"Kid, we told you to stay back with Master!" Wujing shouted as MK peaked his head around the rock he and the monk were taking shelter behind.

"I know!" MK snapped, growling as he ducked back down and presumably curled in on himself. "ARGH I feel useless!"

Wukong winced at his tone, feeling bad. MK wasn't useless, to be fair, but without his staff and no backup weapons he was fighting up a creek without a paddle as it were.

"You're not useless, and you're protecting Tripitaka!" He shouted, letting out a yelp as he narrowly avoided a hit from a demon that should not even be here. Or, some kind of time anomaly mockery of a large demon. An enormous smoke or shadow creature that was far too familiar for his own liking. Not the same, something possibly cobbled together from time itself.

"Wow, uh, future me you're not doing so hot!" Younger Wukong said with a raise of his eyebrow as he blocked a strike with much more ease. "Aren't I supposed to get better with age? Like a handsome fine wine?"

"I'm a bit RUSTY ok!?" He snapped, slicing off one of the shadow creature's cloth tassels to watch it flicker away. "Haven't been many demons to fight!"

He heard a scoff from behind the rock before he felt the giant fist punch him into it. And through it. A Wukong sized hole between student and old master. He realized too late that he had lost his grip on his staff as it flew into the air above them.

"Alright, that's enough!"MK shouted, and before Wukong could even move to stop him the Monkie Kid had jumped into the rock and reached up.

"KID DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH!?" Bajie shouted in horror as he made to rush back and tackle him out of the way. He hadn't moved fast enough either.

None of them had, before MK caught the staff as if it was as light as a feather and twirled it around himself before extending it and launching himself at the shadow creature with a scream of rage and frustration and landing what would have been the killing blow had it not clearly been something not living in the first place.

It dissipated much as the piece cut off before it did, leaving MK to... give a confused yelp and fall into a heap on the ground. The staff fell to his side as he clutched his head and yelled in pain from a source Wukong could not see.

"Kid!" Wukong screamed, moving faster than he had during the entire fight to his student's side. "Kid, shit, MK! What happened?"

"MK?" Sanzang and his younger self asked softly in tandem as Wujing and Bajie watched on, all moving closer. But not too close, giving the two room to move.

MK didn't answer. He sat up, holding his head in his hands as he breathed deeply and tried to keep from screaming again before everything just... stopped.

His sat on his knees, hand hanging limply at his sides as his true sight shone in his eyes and he looked on forward blankly.

"What's... who is he?" Younger Wukong asked slowly as he turned to his older self. "What is he?"

"The Hero and the Warrior were like the Sun and the Moon..." MK muttered softly all of a sudden, just loud enough for the group surrounding him. His voice was slurred, almost like he was in a trance. "Their light a protective glow shining upon the world..."

"MK, where did you-" Wukong tried to ask instead of answering his younger self as he slowly stepped forward, cautiously, but MK continued on as if he had not heard him at all.

"Together there was nothing that could stop the two of them. Either in the Celestial Realms... or on Earth. As time went on, the Hero attained power beyond comprehension. As the Hero's light grew so too did his shadow and soon the Warrior was cast in that shadow. In the darkness, the Warrior was forgotten by the Hero..."

MK immediately slumped forward as he fell unconscious.

"MK!"

"His name is MK... and he's the Monkie Kid... My successor," Wukong finished as he laid a fresh cold wet cloth over his student's forehead. After he had collapsed it became obvious something was seriously wrong with MK, high fever burning him up quickly. They were only just close enough to a town for him to grab him and the staff and rush off with barely a shouted back explanation of "find us at the inn" to the rest of their group. "We thought that... keeping that a secret might prevent any kind of... weird time travel... stuff."

Wukong sighed. His explanation was weak even to his own ears. Excuses. Ways to make things easier for him.

He felt worse than he had just the day before.

His student laid unconscious still, fever burning even after the medicine from the town doctor had been given to him with water carefully. The only thing Wukong could think of was the staff. MK wasn't invincible like he was, maybe contact with it had caused a reaction from the time travel that couldn't affect the immortal.

"Why would you need a successor, Wukong?" Sanzang asked after they sat in silence for a moment.

Bajie handed Wukong the mortar and pestle he had been working with to prepare more medicine, something to add to tea when MK woke up. The pig demon had not questioned him once since they arrived, only grabbed what Wukong was trying to mix poorly himself and listened.

Bai Long Ma had changed into a human form, one he had rarely seen, and sat beside Wujing. They both also listened.

His younger self looked at MK in a mix of wonder and confusion and horror and Wukong could not blame him. The idea of a successor... he must have known himself what that meant even if no one else did.

"I hope I don't have to tell you," he said softly. He didn't look away from MK, even as Sanzang laid a comforting hand on his back. "And I don't want to risk what telling you might do..."

No one questioned him after that.

When Bajie prepared the next bowl of medicine for MK, Wukong took a chance he never had with the demon he once considered like his brother.

"Can you teach me how to do that? Properly?"

Bajie did.

"Monkey King?" Came the hoarse rasp of MK's voice ringing through the room, and Wukong shot up from where he was watching the stars in an instant.

"I'm here, MK," He said softly, still soft, not wanting to hurt his student in case hie head ached. "How do you feel?"

"Dead, but only from the neck up," MK groaned out, and Wukong let out a relieved sigh. He wasn't sick enough to not joke around at least. "Where are we?"

"The town we need to be in," Wukong answered, quickly working on adding the medicine into some now (sadly) cold tea. He had hoped MK would wake much sooner. "Storm is tonight... you've been asleep for a whole day. Hopefully getting you home with this medicine in you will make you feel better, you uh... you weren't doing so great before-"

"What happened to Macaque?" MK asked suddenly, looking for all the world like he had no idea why he would even ask that question to begin with. "Not the battle your younger you had. Before that. In the story. Sun and Moon. Please, I... I want to know. Just... just tell me something, for once."

Wukong froze, fur bristling and stiff and this was not the conversation he wanted to have with his student right now. This is not the conversation he should be able to physically have with his student right now because MK should have no way of knowing anything like this at all. But he had. He'd recited the story he'd heard before word for word from... Macaque.

This was not the time for easy outs. Not anymore.

"I've made a lot of mistake, MK," He started, lifting his student's head onto his lap to help him sit up for the drink. "And a lot of them are ones I didn't think you would have to know about. But Macaque... it's complicated, I know that now. I didn't back then."

MK sipped the tea but said nothing, only made a face at the taste of the medicine.

"We were friends, once. Back on Mount Huaguo before I went to the Celestial Realm, he became immortal in... other ways to my own. I was trapped for 500 years under a mountain without him, no one came to see me so... I guess he was never able to find me. Or he waited thinking I would eventually come back," Wukong tried not to think about how that meant he could have had trust in his friend and not for other reasons he had assumed for so long. "You know the story of the White Bone Spirit from our journey? How Bajie got me banished?"

Wukong couldn't help but chuckle. Oh, he'd been so mad at Bajie for so long for that. He still was, in many ways. But given what happened to him later on in the journey Wukong couldn't hold a grudge.

"Yeah you-" MK coughed a little, probably from not talking for a whole day and a sore throat. "You went back to Mount Huaguo."

"And to Macaque," Wukong continued. "For the first time in 500 years."

"I bet he was angry."

"No..." Wukong disagreed, shaking his head and thinking back. "No, he... wasn't. Not at first. He was ecstatic I came back. The Hero and Warrior of Mount Huaguo back together again, just like old times. But it wasn't like old times. I was already different, I knew how I treated others including the monkeys on my mountain hadn't been the best. And when Bajie came to bring me back... I couldn't help but wanting to leave back to the journey. Part of it was to get the fillet off, but part of it was because... I realized I cared for the others. I wanted to see the journey through with them."

"Macaque thought you were abandoning him," MK said after a moment, eyes widening. "That's why he took on your identity. He wanted... revenge? For you to have no reason to leave again?"

"I think he just wanted what we used to have," Wukong said with a frown. "I've been running from him for so long... over another 500 years. I've made so many mistakes in my life MK, but I think not trying to get him to come with us or trying to properly explain what I was doing... may have been the worst."

"... The warrior was never forgotten by the Hero after all," MK said softly before drifting back to sleep.

"No," Wukong agreed, though he knew he was not heard. "No, the Hero never forgot. The Hero never will, not completely. Even if it hurts."

The storm came on schedule. The machine was charged.

Over the day they came back their memories of the trip back in time faded into a distant thought, one that both mentor and student soon forgot to fear the loss of.

By the next day they had forgotten. Time had fixed itself.

But not completely.

The Hero never forgot completely, after all. There was something telling him in the back of his mind to check more on his student. He remembered a hand on his back that should not have been there. He knew how to mix something he never had before.

Neither did the Warrior, uninvolved in this adventure as he may be. He had plans.

And the one between them, with no title to himself, didn't completely forget either. He recalled feeling warm and safe. His head was on someone's lap. There were berries and someone not unlike one of his father figures.

The memories of what happened lingered, quiet, uncalled but emotions still there.

A short time later the one between felt that a play he went to was strangely familiar to him and needed to rush out before his head began to ache in memories he didn't recall.

"So um... what happened to him? The Warrior?"

The answer was somewhere in the back of his mind. If only he could remember.

#monkie kid #lego monkie kid #spoilers #gen fic #time travel fic #mk #qi xiaotian #sun wukong #monkey king #six eared macaque #(mentioned)#Tripitaka #tang sanzang #zhu bajie #sha wujing #bai long ma #prompt fill #LONG AS HELL

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realcube · 4 years ago

Text

randomly falling asleep with hq!! characters 💤

navi | masterlist | taglist

thank you anon for this cute request!

characters: ushijima, tsukishima & yachi

content warning: swearing, mentions of sexual assault

thank you to anon for this cute request

wakatoshi ushijima

♡ he shows affection in his own...special way 😊

♡ by that, i mean that if you fall asleep while sitting next to him and he thinks you look cute, he’ll just stare (●__●)

♡ like deadass if he was anyone else, it’d be creepy as hell but he’s your bf so-

♡ he stares bc not only do you look precious, but he doesn’t want to touch you as he’s afraid that he might wake you up

♡ though, if you’re in public (like sitting next to him on the train) he might gently put his arm around your shoulders to make sure that onlookers know that you’re safe with him

♡ also, it only takes one time for him to catch on to your habit of disappearing and falling asleep in the most unconventional places and istg he is the BEST at guessing where you are - it’s a gift

♡ like he’ll arrive home and if you’re not there to immediately greet him with kisses, he’ll take a moment - let him boyfriend senses take over and walk him over to whatever room is giving him ✨(y/n) vibes✨, open the door and there is a 99% chance you are in that room sleeping

♡ and he probably got it right first guess (which is a pretty big deal considering y’alls house resembles a sims fkn mansion made with motherload money)

♡ he’ll open the door to the storage cupboard to find you sleeping with the mr muscle spray and it’s such a shame bc he was going to be a clown and make a ‘why are you cheating on me?’ joke but you were in REM sleep 🙄

♡ or he’ll walk in to the conservatory and see you laying in the fetal position on the floor and that is the ONLY time he interferes with your sleep bc he doesn’t want you to fuck up your back 🥺

♡ like he has an obsession with your posture - like if you are slouched he will tell you to stand up straight or if you are sitting hunched in a chair, he’ll creep up behind you to start massaging your shoulders while fixing your posture

♡ not to be rude though- just bc he cares

♡ also, he never questions how you end up falling asleep in the most random of places, he just goes with it

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

ushijima sighed as he hung up his jacket, realising that this was one of those days were you won’t come scurrying to the front door to greet him with kisses and instead he had to hunt through in search of you. although, it wasn’t much of a hunt considering his gut instinct said you’d be in the study room and there you were, cuddled up by the bookshelf.

however, your back was hunched over in way that didn’t look to comfortable so ushijima thought it was his duty to transport you to somewhere that there was a lot more appropriate and fit for sleeping.

so he gently slipped one hand behind your back and the other under your knees to slowly pick you up and carry you to your shared bedroom. is efforts may have been in vain though as he noticed one of your lids flutter open out of the corner of his eye, “good afternoon, sweetheart.” he hummed, steadily shifting his hand from your back to the back of your head to tenderly caress your cheek with his thumb as you cuddled into his chest. “are you awake?”

“No.” you groaned.

“Shame, I was going to suggest going out for walk on the beach--”

“I’m awake! Let’s go!”

kei tsukishima

♡ he probably calls you lazy but he’s really just jealous of how well you can sleep

♡ coz he just lays in bed till 4AM staring at the ceiling

♡ i imagine that if you were to fall asleep next to him in a crowded, bustling place - like on a train - he’d take off his headphones and clasp them over your ears so the loud announcements don’t wake you up

♡ he doesn’t fall asleep on transport btw (not even planes) so don’t worry about missing your stop

♡ though he’s not usually a fan of PDA, he’ll hold your hand without a second thought to lead you out the train when you’re still recovery from the post-sleep haze because of course he doesn’t want to lose you in the crowds of people or anything

♡ and if you have a cute lil sleepy face then he might take a picture but he’d probably edit the picture with snapchat or something and draw like a moustache on you, put a sarcastic caption or something then send it to you

♡ (but he’d save an unedited version of the pic bc you’re adorable-)

♡ like tsukki leaves you on delivered most of the time on snapchat bc he believes if you have something important to say, you’ll just message him normally but the rare occasion you do get a snap from him, don’t get your hopes up bc there is a 99% it’s just something like a picture of you with a drawn on crown and the caption ‘sleeping beauty 🙄’

♡ ‘so you think i’m a beauty 🥺’

♡ then he leaves you on read

♡ he will not carry you under any circumstances in public btw

♡ and at home, if you were to fall asleep on the couch next to him while y’all were watching a movie, there’s a 50/50 that’d he carry you to bed

♡ but if he doesn’t take you to bed, he’ll set down a pillow for you on the couch and shift you around so you were laying in a more comfortable position, then drape a blanket over you

♡ in regards to when he comes back from work, you’re usually already asleep in bed - but there is one time that you were not in the bedroom, and he still teases you for it until this day

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

most of the time, you’re sound asleep in bed by the time gets home but tonight you weren’t - in fact, you were no where to be seen. he had searched everywhere, called your phone multiple time and he looked at your schedule, but it appeared as though you were supposed to home right now - so hours, he was sitting fretfully on the couch, contemplating calling the police.

however, all his distressed pacing really worked up an appetite so he poked his head into the pantry to grab a snack but his soul almost left his body when he noticed you laying on the floor, fast asleep, with the cat curled up in your arms. who he didn’t even noticed was missing lol

usually, he wouldn’t even think of waking you up but the rage and shock that shot through his body resulted in him barking out, “what the fuck?! what are you doing here?! i’ve been looking all over this damn house for you and--”

he was cut off by the cat springing out of your arms from the surprising sharpness of his voice and scurrying off, leaving you confused on the floor on the pantry, half asleep, wondering how you got here and why tsukishima was yelling at you? “hm? what’s wrong, sweetie?” you hummed, rubbing your eyes while tilting your head up to look at his tall, slender figure looming over you in the doorway.

as much as tsukishima wanted to stay mad at you, upon noticing how cute your bedhead was along with how soft your voice was, he quickly realised that there was no way he could continue yelling you. so instead, he scoffed and slowly kneeled down to sit next to you on the floor, looking at you with kind yet concerned eyes as he inquired, “why were you sleeping in the pantry?”

it took you a moment to try and remember but once you did, you blurted out, “oh, berry was having trouble sleeping.” yes your cat is called berry. don’t question it. her full name is strawberry tsukishima shortcake. “so i cuddled with her in her favourite sleeping spot and she slept like a baby. but i guess i did too.” yo chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of your neck.

tsukishima mentally cursed you out as he was expecting a silly explanation but shit that’s cute. why does he lowkey want to join y’all next time?

hitoka yachi

♡ gsrbtrhryh she gets so flustered and nervous when you fall asleep with her

♡ and she always does tbh bc she has no idea what to do

♡ like she thinks you look so precious and angelic so she really wants to take a picture and - if she thinks you’d be okay with it - she clicks a photo and probably sets it as her background or posts it on her private story

♡ she is just so head over heels for you tbh that everything you do just astounds her

♡ she just stares at you like ◉_◉ for half an hour bc you are so beautiful then something inside her just prompts her to lean in and just *mwah* and at first she is quite satisfied bc she has expressed her affection

♡ but then a few seconds later her soul just leaves her body and guilt just washes over her

♡ ‘OMG I JUST ASSULTED MY OWN S/O’

♡ she feels horrible

♡ this close 👌 to calling the police on herself

♡ when you wake up, prepare to be bombarded with her apologies

♡ once you reassure that it’d fine bc it was just a lil peck on the cheek and she is your girlfriend after all, it brings her the slightest peace of mind

♡ so you peck her cheek while she is asleep to call it evens and that basically fixes it

♡ but anyway, she is so careful around you when you sleep - like she will literally do the most just to ensure that she doesn’t interrupt your REM sleep

♡ however, that can lead to extremely sticky situations - like the first time you ever fell asleep around her

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

You were on the 5th movie of your barbie movie marathon when she looked over and noticed you had fallen asleep half way through, so she immediately paused it so the noise wouldn’t wake you up. This was the first time she had ever seen you sleep and she felt somewhat flattered that you felt safe enough around her to be vulnerable - even though, yachi never really considered herself to be a rather daunting or intimidating person.

she couldn’t help but just sit and admire you for a few minutes before realising that she should probably transport you to somewhere more comfortable as you were currently sitting next to her on the pink beanbag in her room. and although it was kinda comfy, the preferable alternative - her bed - was only a few feet away.

so she knew what she had to do.

she hopped to her feet and before she did anything too hasty, she stretched to ensure that she wouldn’t pull a muscle while doing what she was about to try. she inhaled deeply before crouching down - instead of bending over as she remembered what coach ukai had told her, ‘lift with your legs!’ - then snaking her arms under your torso and knees.

then, she sprung back up and immediately rushed over to the bed as even though you weren’t too heavy, she was afraid that if she held you for too long, you’d wake up. so once she reach the foot of her bed, she tossed you on so your neck was being supported by her soft pillow and yanked her duvet over you.

she gazed lovingly down at your cozy figure laying on her bed and she couldn’t help but smile.

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mammoneymelon · 4 years ago

Text

How the brothers would react to finding out that MC is autistic

before anyone says anything, i’m autistic and just really want some representation

TW for ableism! the boys are doing their best but no NT immediately knows everything about autism

it’s a bit random, but i headcanon that lucifer has misophonia, so it’s only a matter of time before a noisy/verbal stim starts to drive him up a wall

“what in the devildom are you doing?” he’d ask, eyebrows scrunched in frustration

you have no idea what he’s talking about; after all, you’ve just been sitting on your DDD playing some rhythm game

“what do you mean?”

“you’ve been making that noise for hours; cut it out before i have to go find the packing tape.”

you know him well enough to know he isn’t joking, so you nod and do your best to stop, ignoring the feeling of dread beginning to well up in your chest

you go back to your game, and soon enough, you’re back to ‘making that noise’

you see lucifer stand up, bringing your action to your attention.

“oh, sorry! i didn’t realize i was doing it again, sorry!”

“oh?” he asked, looking down at you.

“it’s stimming. autistic people do it a lot more than others, and sometimes we don’t even notice it.” there’s a moment of silence but you realize you just told him something you hadn’t even told your human friends

“ah, yes, i do remember reading about that in your file. i didn’t want to say anything so as not to offend you.”

you shake your head. “dude! that’s personal business! i don’t like telling people.”

lucifer’s gaze seems to soften. “don’t fret, MC. i won’t tell a soul.”

and he doesn’t.

he also totally buys you quiet stim toys

it’s not long before mammon realizes you are terrible at reading the room

you have a terrible habit of cracking a joke at the worst time or saying the first thing that comes to your mind, even if it was at the expense of others

at first, mammon, mammon thought you were really brave. now, however, he sees that you just have no idea what you’re doing

currently, your knack for trouble had landed you in detention, something you’d gotten fairly used to in the human world. mammon was sitting next to you - he was paying for trying to defend you

“lucifer’s going to kill us. again.”

“and whose fault is that?”

“sorry,” you mumble. “it’s not like i was trying to get us here.”

“really? because it’s startin’ to seem like you are. not that i blame ya, if i were you i’d do anything to spend more time with the great mammon.” he gives you a smile, and you really hope that means he isn’t mad

“i really don’t like upsetting people, i just don’t really get tone? i didn’t even realize the teacher was mad until you stepped in. “

“dude, she was on the verge of killing ya! what do ya mean you “didn’t even realize”?

you pinch the bridge of your nose in frustration. “it’s part of a disorder i have. autism. i just don’t get some stuff that comes naturally to other people.”

“ohhh.” mammon slaps his head, feeling like an idiot. “sorry,” he murmurs, and you barely hear it

mammon, being, well, mammon, will probably forget.

it’s not that he doesn’t care! it’s just not something that comes up in conversation.

of course, when the two of you do talk about it, he picks up on the symptoms pretty quickly. he’s a pretty smart guy, and he’ll do anything and everything for his human

the two of you are working on a co-op dungeon while you talk about your current special interest

“wow, MC, you know a lot about this!”

“thanks,” you respond, and it hits you - you’ve been infodumping almost this whole time

“haha, yeah, blame it on the autism brain,” you joke absentmindedly, not really caring if he knew. you two were good friends, why would being neurodivergent make a difference?

levi, on the other hand, does a double take. being the gamer he is, he’d definitely heard the word used as an insult, but he’d never thought about anyone actually having autism - much less his best friend

“MC, you have autism?” he turns to you looking genuinely confused, his controller sitting, forgotten, in his lap

“um, yeah? it’s not really a big deal,” you say, shrugging

“yeah it is! i mean i knew you were pretty weird, since you hang out with me-” he stops mid-sentence, realizing his mistake. “NOT IN A BAD WAY, OF COURSE! ah sorry, i said something stupid, like always.”

you shake your head with a small smile. you can tell he’s trying. “trust me, i’ve heard much worse. you’re fine, levi.”

he glances up at you, face red from embarrassment, and your smile widens. “i mean, i don’t think like ‘normal’ people anyway, so yeah, i kinda am weird.”

once you leave his room, he’s at his pc, researching more vigorously that he’s ever done for a class

the more he learns, the more annoyed he gets at the complete misunderstanding of the disorder

ultimately, he just wants to make sure you feel supported and understood

you’re sitting in the library, doing your homework while satan looks over your essay, checking for errors

“oi, MC”

“what’s up?” you respond, still focused on your work

“are you scared of me?”

this prompts you to look up, focusing your eyes on his hands

“i was when i first came here, and i definitely would be scared if i really pissed you off, but no, i’m not scared of you. why do you ask?”

“you never look me in the eyes. or my brothers, actually.”

oh. you’d been hoping no one had noticed. “oh, i just don’t like eye contact. it makes me uncomfortable.” you return your eyes to your paper, hoping that was enough.

“how so?”

so it wasn’t enough.

“i’m autistic, genius. i figured it was obvious by now.”

“oh. that makes sense.” that’s all he says, so you try to return your focus to your homework.

satan is probably the most comfortable talking to you about it. he’ll ask you questions about your personal experiences and make an effort to understand you better

one day you look over his shoulder to find him reading an article on masking on his DDD

he cares deeply for you, even if it’s hard for him to say so

asmo has wrangled you into yet another shopping trip

“MC, look at this!! you have to try it on!”

one look at the article of clothing and your face is already scrunching up

“absolutely not.”

“awe, why not?” he gives you the biggest puppy eyes and you sigh. he knows your weaknesses.

“the material. i hate it.”

“but it would look so good on you~”

clearly, he’s not going to give up unless you explain yourself to him

“sure, for a couple seconds, until i have a complete meltdown,” you remark. “i’m autistic, so some textures just make me feel really bad.”

his mouth makes an ‘o’ shape, and then he goes back to looking confused. “i hadn’t even thought about that as a possibility! you should’ve said something earlier!”

he feels really bad about all the times he’s touched you without warning. he thought your shock was cute (and he still does), but he knows that autistic people sometimes dislike touch - he’s definitely had at least a couple autistic ‘partners’ in the past

he’s quite the observant demon, quickly picking up on sensations you d and don’t like. if you’re bothered by smells, he does his best to lay off on the perfume - granted, it’s a necessary part of his routine that he absolutely cannot give up completely. he lets you play with the dimmer in his room so you can find the amount of light that works best.

occasionally, he’ll have to tell you that he’s trying his absolute best to flirt and you are giving him nothing. you’re just like “oh shit i didn’t realize”

asmo’s just a sweetheart who wants you to be comfortable

beel unfortunately has to learn about your autism because of a situation out of your control

you’re in the gym, keeping him company while he works out

you’re searching his bag and you realize you don’t have your headphones

oh fuck.

you always bring your headphones to the gym; the sounds of televisions, music, people talking, weights clinking, treadmills rumbling... it’s too much

not to mention the stench of sweat and the florescent lights - truly an autistic person’s nightmare

you squeeze you eyes shut, but that only makes the noise worse. you’re surrounded by noise and you can’t stop it. it occurs to you that you’re no longer breathing properly but it’s just too loud and you’re so small

“MC?” beel’s voice is soft and filled with obvious concern. you open your eyes, seeing him kneeling in front of you. your eyes sting, and you realize you’re tearing up. “MC, are you alright?”

all you can do is shake your head

“do you want to go home?” you nod, biting your lip as he stands up, making you feel even smaller.

he quickly packs his things into his bag and offers you a hand, helping you get up

he quickly escorts you outside, where you practically gulp for air.

he waits patiently with you while you slowly ground yourself.

“okay, let’s go home.” you explain sensory overload as you walk, then tell him about your autism

beel, like asmo, is very observant and he learns surprisingly fast.

he’s also very protective of you. if someone triggers you, he won’t hesitate to tell them off before doing a grounding exercise with you

he’s basically you’re giant therapy demon and you love him for it

it’s becoming way too much. you’ve been masking heavily for months, monitoring your every move while doing your absolute best to thrive in a (literally) completely different universe than what you’re used to

you’re laying facedown on the couch, practically unable to move. you want to go to your room, but your body won’t let you

“mc?” you hear belphegor’s voice. “are you trying to imitate me?” he teases

you simply groan in response, not wanting to bother

for a moment he goes silent. then, you feel a hand on your shoulder

you jolt up, swiping his hand away as you let out a small shout. belphie’s eyes are widened in surprise

“don’t touch me! ...please,” you add as an afterthought, feeling bad for scaring him

he sits with you on the couch, taking care to leave space between the two of you. “what’s wrong?” you don’t respond. “mc?”

“burnout. too much. feel bad.”

belphie has absolutely no clue what that means, but he figures he knows something that might help.

“want to take a nap with me?”

you have to think about it before responding with a “sure” and slowly crawling into his arms (if that’s something you’re okay with)

it’s night when the two of you wake up. you still feel awful, but you can at least cope better.

once belphie’s more awake, he asks you what the hell happened

“two words: autistic shutdown”

“that doesn’t explain anything” - belphie really doesn’t know anything about humans

you do your best to explain - you were born with a brain that works a bit differently than most humans. some of the symptoms are an aversion to change and ‘odd’ behavior that’s difficult to hide. when you get too stressed, you just kinda ‘shut down’

he takes a bit to really understand, but once he does, he does his best to support you.

he falls asleep to your infodumping and you find it endearing

he gets good at recognizing when you’re starting to shut down and he always convinces you to take a break via a cuddly nap

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hualianff · 3 years ago

Text

How To Piss Off Your Boss II 《I》

When HC places the dishes in front of a group of esteemed guests, foreigners and wealthy business people by appearance, he’s roped into a brief conversation in English. Not that he minds too much. HC has had many opportunities to practice different languages in the kitchens he’s worked in, mainly consisting of English, Spanish, Italian, and Japanese. Most of the phrases HC retained were curse words too. Go figure.

Once the CEO wraps up the small talk session, he spins on his heel and speeds back to the kitchen. As he power walks through the various tables, HC takes note of which guests have seemingly ordered yet still only have drinks on their tables. He’s not sure what his employees were yammering about to delay their service up to fifteen minutes, but it could certainly wait until after the dinner rush, for god’s sake.

A blur of white completely stops HC in his tracks. His neck suffers from a violent double-take when he catches sight of a familiar white turtleneck, worn by a figure with a familiar smile. HC’s mouth gapes open slightly, nearly tripping in his haste to veer off towards the two-person table secluded by the window.

XL cutely waves as he finally gets a glimpse of his husband tonight.

“Gege!?” HC breathily asks, confused. XL sets his flute of wine down, amber eyes shining with mirth.

“Surprise!”

HC immediately shoots a glare back to the kitchens where he sees his employees peeking through the pair of windows on the doors. His lips curl into an angry snarl, like a tiger provoked by its own streak. He makes a move to steamroll into his kitchen and rip them a new one. Except a hand grasps onto his wrist before he can make it past one table.

“San Lang, don’t mind them. It’s no big deal,” XL pleads, tugging on HC’s hand. The taller man willingly turns around, rolling his wrist so he can be the one to hold XL’s hands instead.

“Gege, how long have you been waiting?” HC asks in a tight voice. XL frowns, not wanting to answer, but he knows HC won’t let it go.

“Just under thirty minutes.“

“Thirty minutes!?” HC exclaims. “The fact that no one told me you were here for nearly half an hour is unacceptable. Oh my god, I’m going to fire them all.“

“No, you’re not. San Lang, calm down. I didn’t tell you I was coming, so you couldn’t have known. I don’t think the server who showed me to my seat even knew who I was,” XL reasons.

He subconsciously pulls HC closer to sitting down at the table.

“Someone should’ve told them because you’re not just any customer, gege. You’re my HUSBAND. You’re important to me, and I would like my workers to let me know if you’re here regardless if I knew beforehand. I don’t want you to have to wait that long for me to come out and join you.“

“They said you were busy! Plus, thirty minutes is hardly a long time.“ XL tries again. HC insistently shakes his head, gingerly squeezing XL’s hands.

“Darling, your time is too precious to be wasted like that,” HC says, leaning forward to plant a kiss on XL’s forehead. XL hums as he finally pushes HC down into the chair opposite of his own.

“Well, you’re here now, right? Why don’t we enjoy a lovely dinner together? My treat!” XL says happily.

Seconds later, two massive dishes of finely-boiled squid and glass noodles, along with spicy wonton soup are placed in front of the two men. It’s the new cook who bows while stuttering out an apology, repeating “I didn’t know- Hua Lao Ban, Xie-xiansheng- I didn’t know- please forgive me.”

XL, being the angel he is, claims there is nothing to forgive. Across from him, HC silently churns in strong disagreement. It takes three servers to make sure everything was up to standard, watching their boss’ expression carefully for any hint of dissatisfaction. They leave in a hurry, the abundance of food making XL’s face light up like a Christmas tree.

“I love you, San Lang,” XL cheers, tapping his chopsticks together excitedly.

HC’s face softens, endeared by his husband’s antics. The incident is far from being forgotten in his mind. After all, from the stories XL has told about the times he was truly struggling in life after the pitfall of his parents, HC has a very good idea of what circumstances XL has had to endure—way worse than waiting thirty minutes for his food and husband to show up.

XL probably didn’t even expect to see HC tonight. And that is still absolutely inexcusable. XL is HC’s number one priority, even above all of his businesses.

But for now, HC supposes he can put it off to share a wonderful meal with his husband.

“I love you too, Gege,” he responds, shoulders relaxing.

However, an offending, black, leather folder captures HC’s attention. It’s tucked into a corner on XL’s side of the table, unopened. HC already knows what it is without having to look closer.

“Gege…”

“Hmm?” XL looks up with his mouth full of noodles.

“Did they charge you for the meal?” HC asks slowly, barely contained fury simmering beneath the surface. His eye pins the flutes of his favorite drink he hasn’t touched. “And the wine?”

XL chews methodically, cheeks puffing from how stuffed they are. If anyone who cared about eating etiquette were watching him, they no doubt would be utmost appalled at such a messy display. HC would curse them to hell if they dared said or did anything.

XL finally swallows, licking his lips.

“There’s nothing wrong with charging me,” XL says. HC’s nails dig into his skin as his hands clench into balled fists. “What if I just want to support my husband?”

HC inhales deeply, then exhales heavily.

“Gege does that enough by being married to me. Look, I’ll be right back-“ HC abruptly stands up. He swoops in to kiss XL on the lips, pecking three more times which makes XL giggle. HC then quickly blows cool air on the spoon XL holds mid-air with his hot soup.

Without another word, HC storms back towards the kitchens. The other cooks actively avoid their boss, bowing profusely if they happen to cross paths with him. HC doesn’t say anything to acknowledge their remorseful actions. For the next ten minutes, he continues instructing the team as if the mishap hadn’t even happened.

Apologizing won’t be enough, they all know this. They kept not only XL waiting for thirty minutes but also the other customers that entered after him. However, XL had been waiting for the longest as he was a walk-in customer, which made it all the more displeasing for HC to find out his husband had not received the special treatment he deserved.

The orders have slowed down enough for HC to snap his fingers as a signal for everyone to line up. When all the cooks are appropriately assembled, HC doesn’t hesitate to hurl the folder with the check onto the main island in front of them.

“Who was it?” HC asks icily. No one utters a sound. The CEO reaches over to yank out the white paper filled with prices. He points to it, eyeing every single one of his employees. “Tell me. Who gave this to him? Who charged him for his meal when I have specified numerous times to never–and I mean NEVER–bill him.”

It’s so quiet in the kitchen, the guests closest to the kitchen doors can probably hear HC scolding his cooks, beyond livid. HC couldn’t care less, as long as XL was outside of hearing range and slurping down his soup with a content tummy. He’ll have to make it up to XL on his own accords, first by taking his husband home to have uninterrupted one-on-one discussion.

The newer cook who HC has distinguished as Hai Ye shuffles uncomfortably, looking like a child guilty of disobeying their parents’ order. Someone has yet to speak up to confess or snitch, meaning they would rather face punishment collectively than risk one person receiving full blame. While HC is one thread away from blowing his top off, he buries the nasty curses down inside his chest. He knows what it’s like to receive unfair consequences for things he didn’t knowingly do wrong.

Instead, HC forces his temper to cool down.

“Seeing as these were a series of mistakes that everyone here has contributed to, I’m canceling janitorial services and assigning all of you cleaning duty,” HC declares, crossing his arms. “I don’t know what else it will take, but this must not happen again. With Xie Lian or with the backed-up orders. We are better than that, understood?”

“Yes, Hua Lao Ban,” the cooks recite resolutely. HC grunts with a tone of finality. He quickly snatches his long coat, taking out his wallet and stacking the amount of money needed to cover XL’s check.

“Good. We can move on from that. Finish the night on a reasonable note. Additionally, can someone fetch me a to-go box and cup?” HC asks as he unbuttons his chef blouse and throws it into the hamper off to the side. HY is the closest to the to-go boxes, so he instantly abides by HC’s request. The CEO offers HY a nod of gratitude. Then, he’s out of the kitchen, long coat thrown loosely over his lanky frame.

Between the few orders they have to complete, HY witnesses HC personally box up his and his husband’s food. XL eagerly holds HC’s hand when he’s done, pulling the taller man towards the front door to go home. Before leaving, HC gives the head chef, HX, a menacing glare as if to say, “You better have things under control.”

The CEO of Crimson Embers walks out of his restaurant with a gentle hand resting on his husband’s lower back. They disappear through the front glass doors, subtly leaning into each other’s space, content to be together after a long day apart.

Bonus:

When the other branches hear about the incident, they hang up a framed picture of XL with HC, making sure to point to XL’s face for new employees saying, “If this man enters the restaurant, show him to his seat and then tell Hua Lao Ban immediately. Get him everything he asks for. NEVER charge him for his orders.”

#tgcf #heaven official's blessing #tian guan ci fu #hualian #hualian au #xie lian #huan cheng #modern au #cerdrabbles #still not beta-ed #spur of the moment drabble which is so on brand with canon Hualian’s dynamic

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guardianofthepeanutwrites · 3 years ago

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Skirts and Dresses Part 2

Part 2 is here. I hope you will like it! Part 1, Part 3, Part 4 and Part 5 To my Powerpuff Girls ! I love you all <3 Many Thanks to Gypsywoman13 for beta-readig!

@mayucerise @starkeraddictbaby

Iron Dad Tony

Since the Widow had learned his secret and been so understanding, Peter became a bit less careful. While he used to only wear his old skirt when he was alone in the compound, now he would wear his new clothes when only one or two people were present or if Natasha decided they needed special training nights, which were girls nights where they would train and then watch action movies while making fun of the bad scripts and stunts. They would also paint each other's nails and do each other's hair. It was awesome.

As promised, Natasha burned his old skirt to ashes, but with his consent. Three days later, she gifted Peter a frame with a small piece of the skirt inside and it made Peter’s heart swell with love.

He could now say that his old skirt had been awful; it had too many colors and some nasty stains, but it still had been his first, so he had put the small memorabilia on his shelf.

Today, Peter, Mr. Stark, and Dr. Banner were the only ones present at the compound, so Peter put on a nice skirt that was full of colors, and that kind of looked like silk. It was one of Peter’s new favorites because it would swirl and flare when he walked.

After dancing around for a bit, and watching the effect in the mirror of his bedroom at the compound, Peter decided it was time to work on his assignment for next week.

Peter was fully engrossed in his work when his phone buzzed loudly.

>> Kid, I know you’re busy with your assignment, but I have an emergency here. Could you come by? - TS

Without even thinking about it, Peter rapidly answered

<< Sure Mr. Stark. Omw

With that sent Peter left his bedroom, not remembering in his rush that he was still wearing his new skirt.

When Peter entered the workshop of Mr. Stark, the billionaire briefly took his eyes away from the armor he was working on.

“Kid, you may want to change before coming closer. Motor oil is a bitch to take out of silk.” The comment was said offhandedly, as if Mr. Stark wasn’t talking to his mentee wearing a fucking skirt.

Peter felt his cheeks redden, realizing he had left his room in such a hurry that he hadn’t thought to change. He was startled when Mr. Stark started to talk again.

“Pete, it’s kind of an emergency here. Can you change and move on, please?” The urgency in his mentor’s voice got Peter to move, but not to change. “Pete, you’re going to stain the skirt, come on.” But Peter didn’t listen.

“What do you need me for, Mr. Stark?”

The older man sighed but started to explain.

For three hours the two men worked seamlessly like they always do. When the part of the armor they were working on was done, Mr. Stark silently led Peter to the sofa in the lab. He made Peter spin once, to look over the skirt before he let Peter sit on the couch next to him.

“So, Petey Pie. When did you start to wear skirts, and why did you never tell me?” Mr. Stark sounded calm and not disgusted; Peter did not really know what to think about it. “And this isn’t silk. What for the love of Tesla is that thing?”

Peter sighed. Were they all going to criticize the type of skirts he was wearing and not the fact he was wearing them?

“I-I started to wear one, uh, 4 years ago?” Peter felt his cheeks redden again and bowed his head to look at his hands, avoiding Mr. Stark’s gaze. “I found it--well... it was truly horrid, Natasha burned i-” Before he could finish his sentence, Mr. Stark cut him off with a frown.

“Wait, hold on, Underoos. Natasha knew before me?” The billionaire puts a hand on his chest; always one for dramatics. “Why? Wait, no, she’s a superspy. Did she guess?”

“She walked in on me,” Peter admitted. He felt rough fingers against his chin to lift his head up and force his eyes to meet his mentor.

“You know, when I was your age - a little younger maybe - I had a... well, Dad and--Dad called it a phase.” Peter knew his mentor had meant Dad and Obadiah Stane. It made Peter want to punch the guy. “For an entire month, I wore nothing but very short skirts.” Peter’s breath hitched at the confession, making Mr. Stark smirk. “To be honest, I only wore them to make my dad angry, but I still liked it, and those skirts made my ass look like sin. Well, everything makes my ass look like sin, but the skirts...they were really nice.”

“But, then, why did you stop? And why does no one know about that?” Peter asked with a small voice, still looking at his mentor even if the man had let go of his chin sometime before.

“I--They made me. If I am being honest, they paid a lot of people a lot of money to bury every piece of evidence from that month.” Mr. Stark frowned suddenly. “FRI, baby girl?”

“Yes, boss?” The AI answered.

“Do we still have pictures of that time?” There was a short silence before the AI starts to talk again.

“Yes boss, we do,” the mechanical voice sounded, amused.

“We should leak those one day.” Peter choked on nothing, making the older man wink at him. “Oh, and before I forget, FRI, call Thomas and tell him to bring skirts and dresses for my protegé.” FRIDAY didn’t answer, but Peter supposed she already was calling whoever Thomas was.

Mr. Stark stood, making a gesture at Peter to stay put, and went to a little room where he kept a small desk to do things that didn’t warrant going to his main office. He came back with a kraft envelope and sat back while he simply gave the envelope to Peter.

“I was supposed to give this to you on your Birthday, but I think there will be no better occasion than this one.” Peter watched the envelope dumbly, asking himself what was inside. “Open it up, kid.”

However, before Peter could move, FRIDAY started to talk again.

“Sir, Mr. Watson refuses to ‘clothe a man with a dress’.”

Tony lifted an eyebrow. “Fire him.” Peter opened his mouth to argue that there was no need to fire someone over him, but Mr. Stark continued. “Wait, was he insulting?”

“Yes, sir.” If she hadn’t been only code, Peter would have said FRIDAY was angry, but Peter was probably projecting.

“Ok, sue him and then fire him or the other way around. Let Legal take care of that. Shit, Pepper is going to kill me,” Mr. Stark muttered, standing up to start to pace.

“Mrs. Potts has not been using Mr. Watson’s services for some years, boss. Not after they had an argument about the place of women.” Peter saw his mentor getting angry at hearing that. “She has another tailor. His name is Richard Bernard and he comes highly recommended by Mrs. Potts. Should I call him?”

Mr. Stark huffed. “Yes, you do that. And FRIDAY? Next time someone treats my wife badly, tell me. While she can take care of herself, I refuse to continue to employ assholes. Tell her that.” Peter smiled softly at the ardor in his mentor’s demeanor. Mr. Stark breathed deeply and turned to Peter. “Now, kid, open the thing.” Mr. Stark made a wide gesture to the kraft envelope still on Peter’s lap.

Peter carefully pulled the tab and opened the envelope, taking the papers before looking up at Mr. Stark to make sure he could read them. Mr.Stark nodded, encouragingly, so Peter started to read and was startled at the content on the first paper. Peter frantically began to go through all of the papers, but they all said the same thing: Adoption.

When Peter looked up from the papers on his knees, it was to see Mr. Stark kneeling in front of him, watching Peter with a smile, and taking one of Peter’s hands inside his.

“We have known each other for years, and I would never hope for a better son than you, and for someone better to inherit Stark Industries when my time comes, Peter Parker.” Peter wanted to interrupt; wanted to tell the man that while Peter saw him as a dad too...that Peter would love nothing more on this earth than to be his son, but he was not worth it. He was only Peter, after all.

But Tony Stark knew him too well and just continued to talk, gently squeezing Peter’s hand. “You are smart, kind, and brave. I once told you that I wanted you to be better, and the truth is, you always were better. No, Peter, I may have changed the last decade or so, but at your age, I was nowhere as good as you. I would never have been a hero if I had received your powers. I am so proud of the man you have become, and I want to officially call you a son.”

“But--I know nothing about business,” Peter said lamely. It made Tony smile.

“Well, it’s not knowledge I was born with, you know. There are some classes you can take, and Pepper and I are ready to teach you everything we know. We would have done this sooner, but we wanted to give you until your 21st Birthday to be a normal kid.” Tony gently stroked Peter’s hand. “And before you ask, no, I do not care that you wear skirts or that you are bisexual. Yes, I know about that, I’ve seen how you watch the Soldier.” Peter wanted to deny it, but he really couldn’t because he currently had a very big and hopeless crush on one James Buchanan Barnes. “There is nothing--except going to work for Hammer Tech, and maybe SHIELD--that will change the way I see you. You are my kid, Peter Parker. Will you agree to be my son?”

And what could Peter say? He loved the man like a father and looked up to him. He even loved the horrible dad jokes Mr. Stark started to tell every now and then.

“It-it would be my honor, d-dad.” And Peter couldn’t take it anymore as he jumped into his mentor’s...no, his father’s arms.

And if both of them cried while hugging the other for a long time, it was no one’s business.

Richard Bernard made Peter the most awesome clothes, but Peter had to admit that while he loved them, (silk was such a pleasure on his sensitive skin) the ones he bought with Natasha were still his favorites.

Natasha looked at him like he was a moron, but did not comment. Peter was emotional, so sue him.

Pepper gifted Peter with some make-up, and with Natasha’s help, they taught him how to use it.

Now that Peter had more freedom to put on his dresses, skirts, lace, and silk, he discovered that he did not crave it as much as before. He even started to have fun with his other clothes, especially since Tony gifted him a great collection of graphic tees with all the best science puns.

It’s not as if he didn’t want to be pretty anymore, Peter did, but it’s not a desperate need anymore. Some days he wanted to look cute, and others, he wanted jeans and t-shirts.

Peter was very lucky.

#mcu fanfiction #5+1 things #Still 6+1 #Winterspider endgame #winterspider #tony stark #peter parker #irondad and spiderson #skirts and dresses

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clairecrive · 4 years ago

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“Favor” - Sirius Black x reader

a/n: I don’t know where this comes from but it just... happened so yeah, hope you like it x

Warnings: angst, unrequited love, but Sirius is a precious bb so there’s an happy ending, lowkey inspired by what happened to me but whatever

Word count: 1.2K

Summary: you confess your feelings to your best friend and hope this won’t ruin things between you

Requests are open and so is my taglist.

The Astronomy Tower had always been a place for deep conversations or to unwind. Since the beginning of the first year, when you had found it by mistake- having lost your way- and met Sirius who was stargazing. You became fast friends and the place became your special alcove and the setting of my treasured memories between you two.

So you find it fitting that it was also the place where you'd share something that could break your relationship. It felt like coming full circle if that was the case.

"I think I'm going to be selfish for a bit." You broke the silence, your hands tightening the grip on your robes. Here's goes nothing.

"As you should." Your best friend agreed.

"So, I'm going to ask you for a favour."

"Anything you need."

"I need to tell you something and I know it has the potential to be very destructive both for me and my relationship with you so I'm going to ask you to not interrupt me, okay?" This got his attention and he turned to face you even though you kept staring in front of you. There was no way you were going through with this if you were looking into his eyes. And you needed to get this over with.

"You know you can tell me everything, y/n."

"What I'm going to say will change everything Sirius and I don't want that to happen. But I need the closure of saying it out loud and for you to know so that I can really move on."

"Nothing can come between us. Well, actually-"

"No, Sirius this doesn't have anything to do with your hair care products." Rolling your eyes you assured him.

"You're safe then." He shot you a grin, one you didn't have to see to know it was there.

"You know how much I love you, right?" He nodded encouraging you to go on, your serious tone instantly sobering him up.

"You are one of my favourite people in the world and I would do anything if that meant keeping you in my life." You let out a big sigh knowing that the next words that were going to leave your mouth had the potential of making you lose your best friend.

"And it seems that 'anything' is swallowing my feelings for you and accept that my role in your life is stationary and is not going to change."

"You mean..."

"I've always known you were cool, okay? Before puberty hit you and the beauty of your soul reflected on your body too. I think I have since that night you went on for hours about the stars and their names and their stories." You chuckled with mirth but sensing your distress Sirius didn't speak again.

"So it shouldn't have surprised me when I realized how hard and how deeply I had fallen for you." Another deep sigh.

"And I didn't want to. Believe me, I tried to stop it but quickly discovered one of the oldest truth which is that we don't choose who we fall for." You mumbled the last part at which Sirius gave the barest of nods as if he was connecting the dots.

"So that's why you went days barely speaking to me."

"I thought that time and distance were the best solutions. Turns out, I was wrong and I was hurting you too along the way of getting over you. And that was never my intention, so, here I am, making a fool out of myself confessing my pathetic one-sided love to my best friend which pisses me off to no end since it's fucking cliché and far too dramatic for my liking."

Sirius chuckled at the genuine irritation on your face, his heart heavy with your confession. It had hurt him to see you so distant the past few days when you were usually the other's shadow. However, he'd take that hurt anytime if it meant erasing the pain that he was witnessing behind your eyes. He knew sarcasm was one of your many defences and the fact that you were able to joke about this made him hopeful but he knew. He knew that you were allowing yourself to be vulnerable, something you rarely did, for his sake. And while the realisation of how much you had to trust him almost made him misty, he knew that things were going to change.

He knew you too well to naively think otherwise.

"The favour I'm going to ask of you is that you forget what I've just told you." At the bewilderment in his eyes, you shrugged casting your eyes on the hands in your lap.

"I know you don't feel the same," you murmured hating that your voice quivered with the admission, "and I wasn't joking when I said that I wouldn't jeopardize our friendship."

"I can obliviate you if you want." You added with a light tone when silence stretched between you two.

"I don't want to forget." He spoke for the first time after your confession that night.

"I know how hard this is for you and it means the world that you're doing this. You mean the world to me too, y/n, and the last thing I want is to cause you any pain." He reached out and took hold of your hands, prompting you to meet his eyes.

It surprised you to see them watery but you knew that Sirius was a gentle soul and highly emotionally intelligent. It was one of the many things you loved about him.

"Tell me what you need and I'll do it. Give you space or time or even annoy the hell out of you to speed the process, anything." You chuckled at him. Of course, he'd say something like this. It was Sirius after all, your Sirius.

Anything in you was screaming for you to touch him, even if for a little caress but you held back knowing it would do you more harm than good.

Ignoring that pang in your heart at the fact that his words basically confirmed that your feelings were one-sided, you focused on the good side. Your best friend was here and was willing to do anything to save your relationship and that was all you could ask for.

"I'm sure it doesn't have to come to that but I reckon you wouldn't mind it one bit." You snickered at him, lightly nudging his shoulder with yours.

"Not that it is my favourite past time or anything but I'd gladly rise up to challenge if need be." Straightening his posture he added in a solemn tone as it wasn't clear enough that he was taking the piss out of you.

"How chivalrous of you my lord."

"You forget that I'm a Griffindor."

"Of course, how could I ever." Rolling your eyes, you stood up and brushed the dust away from your robes.

"Come or will be late for dinner and I'm famished."

"Oh no, we can't have that can't we?" He sprung to his feet and before you could say anything, he lifted you and threw you over his shoulder before running towards the Great Hall.

"My god you're such an ass," you screaming holding the hood of your cape from falling on your head as it bounced along with his steps. And while his ass was something to stare at you couldn't help but smile at it, with the risk of looking like a psychopath to any bystanders.

You had done what you most feared and despite it not going as you hoped to, you still had your best friend and that was all that mattered.

You were going to be okay.

#sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #sirius black imagine #sirius black imagines #sirius black one shot #young!sirius black #astronomy tower #marauders era #sirius black angst #sirius black fluff #sirius is adorable #harry potter #harry potter imagine #harry potter imagines #marauders x reader #sirius black

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simpsiren · 4 years ago

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The love potion;

lee jeno x reader

inspired by: Call me— Rainlord, Keshi

description. I got to find out one day that a group of students from my college owned a café nearby campus. And it just so happened that Jaehyun and I were able to get a special invite to be the first few to come before they officially open. One boy caught my eye, Lee Jeno. He only ever grasped my attention. But how was I able to be completely deep in love with him after just a few visits? And that is when the name of this story comes into play.

genre. fluff, angst, love potion type of thing

word count. 24.6k~

warnings. cursing i guess and dreamies almost being sent to jail and VERY brief mention of rape im sorry cnwsdnif

a/n. this is part of the playlist series! click here to check out ffs written by the other authors part of the playlist series <3

“You really think I got time for that?” I said yet again. “It won’t be long! You don’t seem to have a lot of workload today!” Jaehyun protested for the millionth time. It felt like we have been exchanging the same sentences for a whole hour now. I didn’t know why Jaehyun wanted to go to this new café so much. All I knew was the fact that it was owned by a group of students from our college. I would have barely knew them. Better yet, complete strangers. But I guess Jaehyun had a connection, seeing as how he’s been pestering me about this for a week now.

“What are they to you that you’re so desperate to visit?” I questioned, taking a bite of my sandwich as I looked away from Jaehyun to see the clear bright sky painted with blue and white. “Firstly, I know all of them since I did take care of them during their freshmen year.” When Jaehyun explained his first point, I instantly remembered the time I was in freshmen year. And Jaehyun indeed took a few students under his wing for a few months. And though I was assigned to another senior, Jaehyun was always around to check up on me. That’s what got me to be his friend today. “And secondly, they gave me a special invite for me to head there before they officially open.”

I quirked an eyebrow in a questioning manner. “So we get free food and drinks?” Jaehyun’s frown turned into a wide smirk almost instantly. He knew me. “Of course we do.” Jaehyun said with a sly tone. I was already settled on accepting his offer right then and there. I mean, who wouldn’t accept free food? Jaehyun knew I was the type to take up any offer than was free of charge, no money required. He knew I was a cheapskate. “You’re tempted now, aren’t you?” Jaehyun whispered, bringing his face close to mine to examine my every feature. The wary look in my eyes, the smile that unconsciously formed on my lips, the slight blush at the thought of free food.

“I hate you.” I finished my last bite of sandwich and stood up from the bench, grabbing my bag and slinging it onto one shoulder and stomping away in exasperation. “See you tomorrow!” Jaehyun shouted, a loud chuckle following after with it slowly drowned out to nothing as I made my way back to my dorms. When I got back, I threw my bag onto my study table and plopped onto my bed. For some reason, today felt exhausting. And I didn’t know what made it like that. I guess I could blame my lecturer, his monotonous voice was sending the class to sleep. But I was then reminded of the other reason when my stomach grumbled. I glanced down to my stomach and placed a hand there, feeling it tighten as its need for food and replenishment grew.

I groaned as I pushed myself out of bed and went for the kitchen. I frowned deeply at the remembrance that I had no food in my kitchen. I wasn’t big of a cook, and I was honestly too lazy to even do so. There weren’t any snacks I could eat for the time being either. “Am I this broke?” I asked myself, leaning against the kitchen counter and resting my chin on the palm of my hand. I took out my phone and placed it on the table. It was then that I remembered about Jaehyun’s request to the café. “When even is it?” I whispered, eyebrows knitting together as I went ahead to text Jaehyun for the details. He replied me in a matter of seconds, saying that it’s tomorrow but we were able to go whenever we liked for this whole week.

I pressed the call button on Jaehyun’s contact, his voice going into a monotonous “What?” the moment he picked up. “You’re free right now, right?” I asked. Jaehyun hummed. “Meet me at the main building in an hour.” Before Jaehyun could even give a response, I ended the call, knowing he would be there waiting for me regardless. I absentmindedly had a smile on my face with the thought of outdoor food. But my expression went to a quizzical one when I went to the college’s Twitter to see if there were any updates on this café situation. “Seven students from different departments... opening a café in a month’s time.” The tweet gave basic details, but they didn’t even state who exactly were the seven.

Either way, I skipped my way to my room. I didn’t know what kind of food or drinks they’d sell. But at this point, all I really cared about was the food to satisfy my desperate stomach. And hey, if it tastes good, I guess there wouldn’t be any harm to get myself out of the drowning piles of assignments to enjoy an hour or so outdoors. A new scenery to admire. That I hoped wouldn’t be a wasted of time. I got there just slightly over an hour, seeing as how my shower time increased when I had to wash and dry my hair from sweating all day in the burning heat.

Jaehyun was there and he already began walking when I have yet to even reach. I took bigger steps and eventually had to run a little to catch up to his fast pace. “Can you slow down?” I breathed, panting ever so slightly as I continued to match Jaehyun’s long strides down the pathway out of campus. “Well they just texted me saying to hurry because they miss me.” Jaehyun said, a soft smile appearing on his lips and he glanced down to check his phone. I bobbed my shoulders and nodded my head in understanding. “I never knew you were so close to them. You never told me.” Jaehyun reciprocated my shrug, a blasé, god-could-care sort of way. “We just seemingly grew closer I guess.” He answered noncommittally.

Jaehyun simply continued walking when we were out of campus, and I simply followed. And to my surprise, the café wasn’t far at all. In fact, it took us merely ten minutes to reach. However, the place was seemingly hidden. It was in a line of other shops that made the café look invisible. You had to go through two shops and take a staircase up to the second floor. Anyone would have passed it if they didn’t see the café’s sign right beside the staircase. The logo looked simple— the words Café 7 Dream written in caps in a circle, with an animated character in between. The colours were vibrant yet it would be shadowed by the other shops.

I followed Jaehyun up the short flight of stairs. Once he was at the top, he turned to the right and pushed open a glass door. I followed suit. I couldn’t help but have my eyes wide opened when I entered. I initially wanted to refrain myself from looking too surprised, but you could say mine was covered when Jaehyun gasped loudly and had his jaw drop to the floor, his mouth hanging open. I only had Jaehyun’s attention when he shouted, “Yo this looks awesome!” I turned my head from the wall length window that gave the perfect view of the beautiful neighbourhood. In truth, I was glad to go to a college with this much beauty surrounding it. I wasn’t met with old rotting buildings and the sights of your average neighbourhood. Mine was, you could say upgraded. Urbanised. Everything was polished and new. And the huge window second floor café gave just the view to oversee it all. It was certainly a breath of fresh air.

As for the aesthetics of the café, it was simply all white. Not a lot to offer, but I liked the simplicity. The tables and stools were lower than what I’d expected. But there were proper tables and chairs right at the corner of the café, with the counter and workspace just a few feet beside it. It was Jaehyun’s voice that had my attention on him for a split second before I immediately adverted my gaze to the seven men lined up behind the counter. I widened my eyes further to the point where I was afraid that they could fall out of my eye sockets.

They were gorgeous, beautiful. I have seen them before. Only in freshmen year. It looked like they were now in their glow up game. Their hairs were dyed in a wide variety of colours, but it somehow looks unified. It captured all the sunlight that came through the window, as if wanting to keep it for themselves and have it shine its light only on them. I could tell all their features from where I was standing, which was quite far since I was standing by the window. Their features were prominent and their faces were perfectly structured. I seriously wondered why I’ve never noticed them till now. Part of reason could have been that I’ve never seen them since freshmen year when they’ve never caught my eye. But the other reason could have been that I’ve never heard any rumours about them anywhere.

Usually people would talk about such things, boys. But I guess I was never around to hear them, or they never spread to begin with. Maybe they had their identities hidden for some reason. Because I was really questioning why I’ve never seen such beauty and good looking people all in one room for so long. It must have slipped my mind that I had my head turned to them when one of them shouted, “Hey there!” I blinked my eyes and shook my head quickly to clear slate of their attractiveness. My mouth remained agape still as I lifted up a hand and waved back at the light brown haired guy who had a cute baby face, still good looking.

I quickly rushed to stand beside Jaehyun, forcing myself to smile as if I had not been staring at them for a whole minute. “Hey.” I waved back. Jaehyun took a step forward and faced me, a hand gesturing out to the guy standing at the end of the line. “So this is Renjun, Mark, Haechan, Jisung, Chenle, Jeno, and Jaemin.” In their single file, I trailed my eyes along each of them, our eyes meeting very briefly and I felt my breath catching in my throat for a second each time as I wished to look at them longer but refrained myself from doing so. I forced out a short laugh and brought a hand up to rub the back of my neck, which was now sweaty against my palm. Was I this nervous to see men? I guess I was. I never seen them in way too long of a time. Jaehyun was the only ever man I admired for his looks and brains.

They all smiled and I felt like wanting to swoon and have Jaehyun catch me right then and there. Unfortunately, that could only stay in my imagination. I kept my posture straight, nothing more than a kind smile and attentive eyes on them. Jaehyun now looked at me after introducing all seven of them. “Let’s sit down.” Jaehyun glanced back at them and grinned widely, with them reciprocating it immediately with a downshift of their heads while a few bowed and went back to do their separate duties. We decided to sit at the corner where the tables and chairs were. I rushed for my seat and sat down, eagerly waiting for Jaehyun do to the same. And the moment he did so, I leaned in with shoulders up high and eyes full of intent. “You never told me all your juniors are attractive.” I whispered in an angry tone.

“Why didn’t you introduce me to any of them?” My emphasis on the word or the whole question itself had Jaehyun raising both his eyebrows and scoffing with much amusement. “Who was it that said they wouldn’t want a lover to distract her from doing college and concentrate fully on herself for individual growth?” Jaehyun taunted, batting his eyelids at me as I vividly remembered myself making that promise at the very start and was able to uphold it. Well, until now. “Get one of them to marry me.” I fired back, smacking Jaehyun’s arm so hard that it made him wince. But I knew he was exaggerating it only the tiniest bit. I couldn’t help myself from stealing glances at them every second.

Jaehyun jerked his elbow against mine to get hmy attention, which he only received after a long moment. “Seriously?” Jaehyun muttered. I grinned till my eyes formed a thin line and I nodded. “Seriously.” The two of us instantly grew quiet when one of them, which I could remembered to be Haechan came to us through the swinging door of the workplace with a what I assumed to be a menu in hand. “Glad to be at you service. I’m Haechan, and here’s the menu.” He placed a big card on the table and slide it to the center. Jaehyun had his eyes on Haechan the whole time till he travelled down and made eye contact with the paper on a small clipboard in his hand. “Do we fill that up?” He asked.

Haechan furiously shook his head. “Oh no don’t worry I’ll have it filled up for you guys.” Haechan looked to each of us and gave a smile. His extremely amicable tone and expression could already make me tell that he was a bright person indeed. Like sunshine. “I’ll have a Fullsun Ade. And a random mini cake.” Haechan was quick to take it down and adverted his attention to me, which made my heart skip a beat. “Um I guess I’ll take the Jeno Latte and random cookie sand?” My voice accidentally let it out as a question but Haechan simply took it down and nodded his head with affirmation. “Alright please wait awhile and we’ll have it ready.”

“You don’t have to be this formal with me, Haechan.” Jaehyun pointed just when Haechan spun around. He turned back and blinked his eyes twice. “But I’m putting on a good impression for our actual first customer.” Haehan jerked his head in my direction and my eyes widened just a fraction as he flashed me a smile yet again. He hummed and downshifted his head before sliding himself out and heading back to the workplace and telling the rest to get to work. I pursed my lips and raised both my eyebrows as I watched his back, my eyes travelling from one guy to the other. “God stop you look weird.” Jaehyun said with an annoyed tone, a feign exasperated huff leaving his lips. I giggled and placed my pointer finger to my lips. “Sh.” I whispered ever so softly and gave a playful wink to which Jaehyun responded with a grimace and looked out to the scenery.

Meanwhile, I had my eyes on them. Each of them were doing their jobs, but at the same time being playful like kids. Never ending silent giggles and bickering could be heard the whole time. My attention would go off them briefly to take a glance at the window’s view, and then I was back to admire a different kind. However, one stood out to me. The one in the deepest end of the workplace. Basically the corner. If I remembered correctly, he’s Jeno. He seemed to be the only one that was concentrated on making the drink, his drink. He occasionally responded to the chaos of his friends, but he was mostly focused with the help of the guy Jaemin beside him and having small talks.

His bright blonde hair really stood out to me. And his side profile was nevertheless breathtaking. Don’t get me wrong, all of them were good looking and any girl would have their breath taken away if any of them were even miles away. But something about him... hit different. His hands worked gracefully and he seemed to have a delicate touch. He kept smiling to himself, which I found to be adorable. He was probably reacting when overhearing his friends but didn’t want to take his attention fully off the task at hand. For some reason, he was the one that stood out to me the most. “Jaehyun’s order is here!” Haechan shouted, waving an arm up in the air with no specific direction as to who he was waving at.

“Oi Canada deliver it.” Haechan jerked his head to the counter where it had Jaehyun’s drink. But I saw that the mini cake was still on the cake stand. Mark frowned and turned to him. “I’m not even done with the cake!” Mark retorted, proceeding to quickly add final touches of sweets and other small goods as decoration before sliding it off the cake stand and making its way into a plate that Renjun prepared. Mark hustled out of the workplace and held the plate on one hand and drink on the other. In all honesty, the distance between the workplace and the table were so short, I could take a few steps and take it myself. But I guess they wanted to provide their hest service possible, so I decided to stay put.

Mark had dark blue hair, which suited him really well. His face was immensely stunning and had the face of a foreigner. He did come from Canada after all, I assumed. “Thank for coming again, Jaehyun. We really appreciate it.” Jaehyun pulled the plate and drink that Mark placed down, glancing at it before looking up to Mark with happy eyes and a bright smile. “Of course.” He simply said and Mark left us to be while they made my order. Out of habit, I pulled the drink in front of me, begging to examine it. It looked very cute. It had a sticker of a sun which I guess was Haechan’s character. The drink was a beautiful gradient of yellow to semi translucent and it had leaves and a slide of lemon. What I found most appealing was the finishing touch of a heart shaped pink straw.

Jaehyun didn’t mind me taking his drink. It had been something I’ve always done, taking his food whenever mine has yet to come. He grew to get used to it, so he didn’t even bother. I took a sip and hummed in delight the moment the liquid hit my tongue and my tastebuds were satisfied with a wave of deliciousness. It was refreshing as the drink went down my throat. My couldn’t help but have my eyes widen ever so slightly. “Holy shit.” I muttered, leaning in to take another sip. Just while I had my eyes closed and humming again dreamily, Jaehyun slides the drinks out of my reach and instantly dipped down to have his taste. Jaehyun nodded in approval within seconds. “This is actually good.” I chuckled and nodded my head as well in agreement.

My attention then turned to the cake. With eyes that could replicate the ones with big stars in anime shows, I brought close to me and giggled at the decoration on top of the cake. It looked good, but it seemed like a five year old was the one that decorated it. I could tell Mark was trying to make it ass appealing as possible, but the few slips of mistake made me smile to myself just a little at his clumsiness. I grabbed a fork and dig in, the pitch of my hum going high as I chewed as let myself sink into the taste like a bath. Jaehyun snatched the fork out of my hand and took a bite for himself. He did a one on one replication of my reaction. “It’s been so long since I’ve tasted something this good.”

“Tell me about it.” I moaned out after finishing my bite and swallowing it down. I smacked my lips and turned my attention to the guys. My eyes absentmindedly made its way to Jeno, again silently preparing the Jeno Latte while admiring the noises from his friends. I licked my lips, turning to Jaehyun’s drink to steal another sip. I only ordered latte for the sole purpose of hoping it’ll help me stay up late tonight to study. The random cookies was just something I picked out for the fun of it. The wait wasn’t long at all and now Jisung was the one that came to serve me my food. “Thanks.” I muttered, flashing a kind smile. His giggled softly and shyly went away. He really seemed like the kid and youngest among all of them, seeing how he keeps getting targetted by the rest but is showered with love the next moment.

The Jeno Latte and cookies I got was just as appetising as the food that Jaehyun got so I went in for a taste instantly. I wasn’t surprise to find out that it tasted good as well. Jaehyun and I ate silently for awhile, talking about how college is going. I never understood how Jaehyun could be so smart and yet be able to have tons of fun off campus. I thought being a law major would take up hours of your free time. “Time management.” Jaehyun always reminded me. But that was something I just could never grasp. I’d either get too lazy, or be too uptight that I solely focus on my studies that I lose track of everything else in the world. I’m currently in the phase of the latter, until now.

Jaehyun was talking to me when my eyes slowly trailed off his attention and to the guys, who seemed to be sitting on the tables and stools not far away from where we were. I guess it was their break time. They were talking loudly and laughter spread its noise around the café in no time. A soft smile left my lips as I somehow felt that they liven up the atmosphere so much. Even if it wasn’t for me. It’s nice to hear it. I was left with finishing my drink, and with every sip I’d think about how Jeno made it. I shocked myself whenever Jeno popped into my mind. What was it about him that had my mind so wrapped up about?

“Earth to _____? You there?” I came zinging back to reality when I heard Jaehyun talking. “Huh?” I asked, shaking my head to shake the thoughts away. “You know... I could help you ask them for their numbers.” I widened my eyes and shook my head even more furiously than before. “What? No, it’s fine.” I leaned forward and rest my chin on the palm of my hand, my head slowly turning back to the direction of the guys. They were in their own little world, a carefree atmosphere that give zero notice for the world. I smiled softly again.

“Seems like suddenly I have a much better view in this neighbourhood that I thought was getting boring.”

—I wanna see her again. Maybe I'll just be a friend. Or a lover to lean on.

Jeno couldn’t help but finally try to breathe normally the moment she and Jaehyun left the café. It’s as if her presence held his breath for the longest time. But for some reason, he wasn’t suffering for one second the whole way. “Jeno, are you okay?” Haechan’s words suddenly rang through his ears and he shot his head to him. It was then that he realised he was probably showing too much, to the point where it seemed like he was panting. “I’m fine.”

Renjun chuckled beside him, resting his arm on his shoulder and leaning in close to Jeno’s face. He grimaced at the sight and back his body away a few inches. “The fuck is wrong with you?” Jeno asked as the wide smirk on Renjun’s face creepily appeared. “It’s so obvious you were shaken up by that girl. You know she’s been staring at us. I think specifically you.” As much as Jeno wanted to deny it, it was indeed true. From the moment she stepped in, Jeno already had his eyes on her. And he could tell she felt them drilling into her back, seeing how she was staring at him as well. Jeno frowned a little. “Maybe not.” He thought. She seemed to be head over heels for all seven of them.

Jeno liked the way she smiled. The way she loved looking at the view the café had through the window. The way she took time to register their names and faces while Jaehyun introduced them. She stared at all of us, examining their features and what made them unique. He liked how she carelessly took Jaehyun’s food the moment it arrived first, as if she didn’t care about how Jaehyun react. She was extremely pretty too. Jeno was instantly drawn into her looks and it seemed like all the light from the world had dimmed itself down just to give focus onto her, and her only. You could say Jeno experienced love at first sight.

“I swear I could see him trying not to look at her every second.” Jisung added on, only making Jeno roll his eyes. “So?” Jeno lashed out, twirling his body around on the stool to stand up and fold his arms, walking where? He himself didn’t know, so he simply stood there awkwardly and turned around to face them. “So you should talk to her the next time she comes.” Jaemin, Jeno’s closest friend among all of them lets out, crossing one leg over the other with relaxation. Jeno huffed silently and glanced down to his feet, slowly shaking his head. “I don’t want to.” He said. “Don’t tell me it’s because of what happened last year, Jeno...” Mark looked up to Jeno with worried eyes. Of course it’s because of that.

It’s been long since Jeno fell in love. He never had his eyes on anyone after that one incident of the girl he liked for so long turning against him and pouring him with humiliation for a whole year during high school. That incident left a permanent scar on Jeno’s heart, one that he knew he could never mend. Everything was still vividly etched into his memory. And no matter how deep Jeno buried them, some nights it’ll resurface, and send him down the rabbit hole of the darkest period of his life. But that was when he met his friends. This group of friends. And as if fate had fallen on him, they all went to the same college. His happiness and light was solely on them, and he’d give his all for the six. And it’s because of his love for their friendship that he was able to forget about wanting a significant other, he felt that he didn’t need one.

Until he saw her.

“If she comes back.” Jeno emphasised the first one with quick speed and exaggeration. He could only hope that fate would shine some light on him again. Jeno smacked his lips and looked up from the floor, forcing a tapped-up smile as if the thought of not being able to see her again filled up in his chest but he needed to press it down. “Oh come on, she will. Didn’t you see how she kept staring at us? She’ll come just to look at our faces.” Renjun commented. “I wish it was just me.” Jeno replied in his mind mentally, but all he was able to let out was, “Sure, I guess.” With a careless shrug. “Hm but why haven’t we seen on campus before?” Jisung asked in a hushed tone, his hand scratching his head unconsciously.

Jisung was right though. Jeno had never seen her. Indeed there were a lot students on campus. But he felt that he was familiar with almost everyone that walked down the hallways. Stranger, acquaintances, classmates. He’d at least recognise their faces. But why hasn’t she come to mind at all? It’s as if she was invisible his entire college life, and she caught Jeno’s attention only now. “Different majors. Different lecture times. Isn’t it obvious?” Renjun replied. The room fell silent, allowing Jeno to sink deeper into his thoughts. He repeated what Renjun said in his head. It could’ve been true. But most students would hang out on campus before or after lectures for hours on end, simply lounging around and doing nothing but just having their presence there. Was she the type to go straight back to the dorms after lecture?

More thinking resulted in more questions about her. Questions that Jeno wished he’d know the answers to. But then again, he couldn’t expect to know much. It was the first time they met, the first time they laid their eyes on each other. Nothing was certain, and everything felt unknown. One thing’s for sure. Jeno certainly want to see her again soon.

—I'm catching the pieces again. Of a heart that would like to pretend. That it isn't bleeding.

I just came out of lecture. My feet was dragging against the rough stone floor with my back hunched over and my face bored. I was barely able to get any sleep last night, doing draft after draft after draft for my architecture assignment. Although I liked being in the major, sometimes I do contemplate my decisions. Today was no different. My eyes were half open and my mind was solely focus on going back to the dorms, to my bed, wanting to wraps myself up in my fluffy blanket and sleep for ten hours straight.

“Hey, _____?” I heard a voice. It took awhile for my brain to register it, with me groaning softly and humming in question. I lifted my head up to force it to sit right in my neck. I adjusted my vision. And I almost stumbled back. “Taeyong?” This can’t be happening. I’m not dreaming. Lee Taeyong, my ex boyfriend. “Get away from me.” My instincts were at its peak. I was too tired, and I knew my feelings of suppressed anger would begin bubbling up the more I stayed in his presence. I distanced myself away from him slowly and quickly walked forward. I knew him too well. He already had his fingers wrapped around my thin wrist. “I just want a moment.” I heaved a soft sight and forced myself to turn. I was expressionless. I didn’t care about anything he would say next.

“I just... um well...” I could tell he was trying to form up a sentence, but the constant stuttering made it difficult for me to make sense of anything. I huffed and shook my head. Suddenly I was getting a headache and I felt like dropping on the floor to sleep right then and there. “If you don’t have anything to say-” “I miss you, okay? That’s what I wanted to say.” My breathing hitched in my chest. His words longed itself into me, making me freeze in my spot. No, this can’t be happening now. Not right now, when I’m in this state, when my mind is too vulnerable and my whole being was not in its right place. “Taeyong...” I whispered, my voice giving him the reaction to soften his grip on my wrist.

“You know I can’t do this. We can’t do this. And I seriously don’t have the time anymore.” I quickly slid my wrist out of Taeyong’s reach when given the chance. Taeyong’s hand reached out just a fraction, but he pulled it back and rubbed his palm awkwardly on his jeans, glancing away before shakily meeting my eyes. “Why? I’m sorry. You can tell I mean it, right?” I hated how his voice sound so sweet, so sincere. When none of these feelings were even true in the first place. I loved Taeyong, I really did. But he was nothing like how he’s being now. Arrogant, careless, cold. Since when was he this... vulnerable? “No. I’m tired. I can’t do this right now, Taeyong.”

Anger was starting to bubble up in me just as I expected. I ran a hand through my hair in frustration, adjusting my bag that was slung on one shoulder and making an attempt to straighten my body. “Don’t come back to me. Just don’t.” I walked past Taeyong. And luckily, he didn’t try to chase after me. I glanced back for a brief moment, and all I saw was him standing there, motionless like all of life has been sucked out of him. “As you should.” I muttered. He’s getting what he deserved. I won’t put up with him any longer. While I walked down the hall, my body grew more heavy than it was before. The headache was getting unbearable and now I was staring to feel the need to eat.

I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes. One place popped up. The café. I quicken my pace to get there as fast as possible. And by the time I reached the staircase, it was already evening. I climbed up the stairs which little to no energy, my bag bringing the weight of my body down so much I felt like collapsing. I finally made it to the door, pushing it open. My head was hung low, and I made my way to the first seat I saw. I pressed my hands to my head as I leaned into the table to try and suppress my headache. But it was only getting worse with each dreadful second passing by. “Hey, are you okay?” I groaned and lifted my head up with all energy I had, meeting my eyes with the one and only Jeno.

“No I’m not. I feel like dying.” My voice began breaking and I shocked myself with just how weak I was. Did college really made me this bad? Made me stoop this low? “Oh um- hold on. I’ll get you some water.” Jeno went away and I could hear his feet shuffling quickly, coming back with a glass full of water and placing it on the table, my eyes following as he slide it in front of me. “There. Please drink. You look terrible.” Jeno commented, proceeding to take a seat next to me with his hands on his knees and leaning in to examine my current state. I scoffed softly, bringing the cup to my lips and downing half of it and slammed it back down on the table, which surprisingly made Jeno flinch beside me.

“I’d rather get drunk or die.” I mumbled under my breath, but if was loud enough for him to hear. “It’s kind of early to get drunk.” Jeno replied softly, as if not knowing whether my statement was expecting a reply or not. I furrowed my eyebrows and lifted my eyes off the cup of water, seeing how the whole café was coloured in a hue of orange. I turned to the window, my eyes meeting with the sunset sky that was painted with various colours and shades of orange to yellow with spots of pink and red. “Wow.” I let out, the silence of the café got my voice to echo through. Jeno hummed in reply and I turned my attention onto him.

I took time to look at Jeno. His blonde hair was just a tad bit messy. Being up close made me realise that he was ten times more good looking than when I last saw him. His skin was as clear as day with features so perfect you’d hardly find anyone that looked even close to him. His lips where a soft shade of pink and smooth. He was wearing a white shirt underneath the dark blue apron just like last time. But it was only now that I could see the muscles of his arms peeking through his sleeves ever so slightly. “We picked this place specifically just to get that view.” Jeno said, his voice just a whisper as he leaned in closer. Not too close till it was uncomfortable, but I could certainly feel my face about to heat up. “Thoughtful indeed. That’s nice.” I breathed out.

“What are you doing here, if I may ask?” Jeno tilted his head as he asked, and I placed the cup down after finishing the last sip of water. “I just... need something to eat. My body hates me right now and so does my mind if I keep thinking about-” I thought for a second before resuming, not wanting to mention Taeyong’s name out loud or I’d go on a mad rampage. “Well... yeah.” I awkwardly ended. There was no reaction in Jeno’s expression for a moment. But a soft smile began to crack on his lips, which I couldn’t lie, sent butterflies fluttering down in my stomach. “So of all places where you could have a proper meal, you chose here.” Jeno nodded his head like his assumption was correct. And indeed it was. I had to see a prettier and kinder face than Taeyong’s right now. And Jeno was definitely serving it.

“Question though...” I began. Jeno raised his eyebrows in response. “Where’s the rest of your friends?” It’s as if the question lodged right into him because he sat there frozen for a long while, simply staring into my eyes and only blinking twice. I began to wonder that went through his mind that my question had such an impact on him. “They went out to see some baseball game. Which isn’t really my thing.” Jeno exhaled sharply as he rose up from the stool, making his way to the workplace. “Then what is your thing?” I asked, raising my voice slightly higher for him to hear. Jeno turned around, already standing behind the counter. He cupped his hands on the edge and leaned in, his shoulders raising up a little.

“Ice hockey. The guys and I would play on very special occasions.” Jeno clicked his tongue, wanting to move but stopped mid motion to turn back to me. “What can I get you, by the way? I forgot to ask for your order.” I sucked in my lips and sighed, shaking my head and shrugging. “Anything that’ll make me feel better than I do now?” I wasn’t even sure what I wanted. I’d kill to eat anything right now. Jeno chuckled, his low voice shocking me as to how attractive it was. “Coming right up.” He simply said, his attention going off of me and getting to work.

Again I had my eyes on him the whole time, my mind was still fixated on what got me to be drawn into him this much, as if nothing could break my eyes off him. I sighed and let my head drop on the table, wrapping my arms below to serve as a pillow while I shut my eyes to allow them to rest. My headache got a little better, and my thoughts on Taeyong were slowly drifting away as it made space for me to think of Jeno. I might not know him well, but something in me wanted to know him more. His quiet and minimalist aura gave off a mysterious hue, felt as if he’d be hiding something when there actually isn’t. A simple man, is what I got describe him based on my first impressions.

A knock on the table was suddenly heard, but my senses were not shocked by it and I slowly fluttered my eyes open and lifted my head up, my eyes meeting Jeno’s. “Hope this will do.” He whispered, like his voice could disrupt me from my current state of peace. I gulped and sat my straight, stretching my back and cracking my neck. My eyes trailed from his face and to the food that he proceeded to place in front of me. “I honestly didn’t know what you’d like so I got what you ordered last time. I just gave more cookies.” Jeno shrugged, but something underlying in his voice told me there was more thought being put into it than it should be. I couldn’t help but smile, seeing a whole lot more cookies on the plate than before, and the Jeno Latte seemed as appealing. “Thanks.”

I picked the latte off the table and took a sip, relaxation and calmness hitting me the moment the liquid went down my throat. I licked my bottom lip and looked down at the cookies. Placing the cup down, I grabbed a cookie and held it out to him. “Take one.” I said. Jeno stared at me, and I felt like it went on for the longest time. His eyes constantly flickered from me to the cookie, and when I wasn’t getting an answer, I shoved it closer to him, jerking my head. This time, he made no hesitation to reach for the cookie and shove it whole into his mouth. I giggle at the sudden reaction, watching his cheeks puff up like a squirrel’s.

Jeno smiled sheepishly as he ate silently and so did I, switching from the cookies to the drink. The silence wasn’t at all jarring or awkward, rather peaceful and nice. The silence I shared with Jeno was something I have not experienced in a long time. It wasn’t lonely. That was something both of us must’ve felt. “When are you guys officially opening?” I asked as the sudden question popped up in my head. Jeno hummed, glancing up thoughtfully before looking at me. “If I’m being honest, I don’t have an answer. The guys and I are taking it slow. And we only just had one round of stock coming in to try out the menu.” Jeno grew silent for a moment, his eyes narrowed to the table for a second. “Perhaps a month?” Jeno raised his shoulders with question. I nodded, accepting any answer just to hear him talk.

“So I can come here for a month?” I questioned again. This time my question got him to raise an eyebrow just a fraction. “You aren’t coming after we open?” Jeno threw a question back at me and I breathed out a short laugh, smacking my lips. “From the looks of it, you would be getting a ton of customers. I hate places that are crowded and suffocating.” Jeno folded his arms on the table and leaned in, so much so that his elbow was touching mine. “What makes you think we’ll have a lot of customers?” I scoffed, the side of my lips lifting up a little from doing so. I glanced a way for a moment. “A bunch of handsome guys running a café. Who wouldn’t come?” I tilted my head, raising both eyebrows.

“You’re basing the popularity of our café on our looks and not our abilities in making drinks and snacks? I’m hurt indeed.” Jeno nodded his head in feigned affirmation, making me gasp out a laugh and shaking my head vigorously. “No! No! I mean... well.” I bobbed my shoulders. “That’s exactly what you’re implying.” Jeno doted and I rolled my eyes, chuckling. “You can’t deny that. I bet you know it yourself.” Jeno moved his lips to one side, again he was nodding and this time he had his eyes on the window. The sun had already fully set and just welcomed the ink black dark sky. “I’m on the humble side of my group of friends. But sure, I’ll believe you.” The fact that he could be in denial of his looks made something stir in my stomach. “What’s your major?” I wondered if that was too quick of a topic change, because I saw Jeno leaning back ever so slightly from the sudden question.

“English major. Why’d you ask?” My mouth formed the shape of an ‘O’. But that was all my face did. Instead I had an expressionless look, boring my eyes into Jeno. “What?” “You talk like an English major.” I said, picking up the last piece of cookie and plopping it into my mouth, downing it with the last sip of latte. “And it’s no wonder I’ve never seen you before.” My voice grew softer with each word, my eyes traling along his face, unintentionally going to his lips. I looked back up instantly, locking my gaze onto him. Jeno was frozen in his spot, seemed like he didn’t know what to do, or say. But after a long pause, he finally let’s out, “Your classes are at night.” I hummed in reply. “And I usually don’t have time to venture around campus like Jaehyun.” The two of us let out faint chuckles. Till my phone rang.

The two of us turned our heads to where my phone was placed, just at the edge of the table. Taeyong’s name was shown on screen, clear and intimidating. “What the fuck?” I got scared to the point I couldn’t pick up my phone. I didn’t lean in to check if my eyes were working right, instead I leaned back. I took in a breath and swallowed the mix of feelings that began bubbling in my throat. “You good? Hey...” Jeno reached his body out to me, his hand placed on my elbow, concerned eyes searching mine. “I-I can’t pick that up.” I shook my head furiously, the vivid memories coming back then and there. My nerves were shocked with a wave of intimidation. My eyes blinked rapidly and even my body was shaking. I felt like collapsing.

“Hey, hey. Calm down.” Jeno held me with both his hands on my arms, in an attempt to get me to face him. I looked at his face, then stared at his eyes, but the ringing of the phone kept going into my brain. “Sh.” I was breathing heavily but I slowly got lost in Jeno’s soft eyes, and I slowed my pacing. Jeno lets go of one arm and picked up my phone, his eyes still on me. “I’ll answer.” He whispered, like he was careful and gentle with his words, wary of how I’d react. But I nodded. Jeno pressed the answer button, jerking his head to adjust his hair and placing the phone to his hear. “Hey, sorry but may I know why you’re calling?”

I couldn’t make out what Taeyong was saying over the phone, it was faint and indistinguishable. “She’s with me. And she didn’t look good the moment she saw your name on her phone.” Jeno raised an eyebrow, eyes breaking away from mine for a brief moment to the phone but quickly placed it back to his ear. “I don’t think you’ll be hearing from her any longer. Have a nice day.” Jeno ran flicked some strands off his forehead and held the phone in front of him with mo hesitation to end the call. He placed my phone hard on the table, screen faced down. I was scared that the protection screen would have cracked from the impact.

“It’s okay. You’re okay now. Calm down, please.” Please. Why was he saying please? It’s not his fault I was reacting like this. He placed his hand back on my arm and it felt like his fingertips sent an electric shock through my veins and to my whole body. It was quick and light, I flinched from his touch. He must’ve gotten the wrong impression, because he was searching my eyes again, wondering if what he did just now was wrong in any way. I wish I could talk, tell him that I was okay. But I was still in a phase of trauma and pain. I shut my eyes and placed a hand to my forehead, wincing. “You need to do back. I’ll send you home.” “No.” Jeno was about to stand up but I quickly grasped his arm, his eyes trailed to it before looking at me. “What?”

I sighed. “You’re friends should be coming back and expecting you here.” I voice was weak. Jeno dipped down till his eyes level with mine. With a seemingly calm raspy tone he muttered, “How does that matter when you’re in this state?” I had no answer. I mean of course I did, but I wasn’t able to say any of them. U was still at a loss of words. My mind was messed up with so many thing, so many thoughts. My negative feelings were put onto overdrive in that short span of time and I was still feeling burnt out. Jeno lets out a sound and pulled me up to my feet. “Let me get you back to your dorms.” I shook my head vigorously.

“No. I’ll go myself.” Why was I acting like this? Why was I acting so... defensive? Perhaps it was due to the embarrassment of having a mere stranger see me in this state, in a state even I was not able to fully overcome. Or maybe it was due to how Jeno would think of me after watching me go through that. Being crazed over a phone call. I didn’t know what to think. But in the end, all I wanted to do was to shut myself from the world. Wanting to block everyone. “Stop it. You aren’t okay. I’ll take you back. Like it or not.” Jeno’s stand got me frightened by a mere bit. His tone was sharp and it sounded almost like an order, the way the words rolled off his tongue quick and firm. I yield immediately with reluctance. “Fine.”

Jeno had his grip on my arm, immediately taking my bag and slinging it on his other shoulder while we walked out. At this point, the night has already settled in, and the cold air gave my skin a light pinch. It was cold, but bearable. We were silent yet again. I wasn’t sure if it was due to us not having anything to talk about, or maybe Jeno didn’t want to bother or worsen my state any further by making a conversation. I would be thankful if he actually meant it like that. Nothing seemed to ring my ears other than the leaves that rustled underneath our feet with each step and the breeze floating by. The pathway back to the dorms was lit with an orange hue from the street lamps paving the way. I had my eyes closed for half the time. It’s as if I didn’t need to walk with them open, because I felt the want to trust Jeno.

It wasn’t long before we finally made it to my dorm’s room. “Are you okay from here? Need me to help you get settled?” I was surprised at how kind he was being. I didn’t expect anyone of our level of relationship to be this helpful, but I guess he was just that type of person. And I genuinely adored it. “I’m not a baby.” I said, a soft smile forming on my lips. “Go on. Thanks for shutting Taeyong away from me.” I continued. I reached into my bag that was still on his shoulder for my keys. I unlocked the door and gestured him to pass me my bag. “Delete his number. You still have him in your contacts.” Jeno advised. I took one last look at him before nodding and said, “Goodnight.” I shut the door.

The door closed, and Jeno still stood there. He wanted to go in. He wanted to hang out with her just a bit longer. What he encountered about her at the café was weird indeed. But he saw it as a need to help her. Something about that Taeyong guy made her past so bad to the point where she reacted that badly. It made her look... vulnerable. Jeno felt the need to protect her in that very moment. Yet, she was defensive when Jeno wanted to help. She wanted to stand her ground with independence, no matter what shame she felt from showing that side of her. Jeno was quickly spiralling down the rabbit hole of love. Was it admiration? Simple affection? Or was he genuinely liking this girl? He didn’t know the answer, but she certainly had him feeling things he had longed forgotten.

Jeno took his time to walk back to the café. He assumed his friends would be there already. But no one seemed to be ringing his phone so he guessed not. He wanted to prolong the time he was alone, with him trying to define what exactly he felt for her. But disappointment fell on him when he already reached the café. And all he could think about was her beautiful face. “Where the hell were you?” Renjun called out from the tables the moment Jeno placed his foot into the café. “I went for a walk.” Jeno lied. He had to. If he didn’t, he’d be bombarded with questions by all of them and he wasn’t sure if he could handle that right now. “That’s a shame. The games was so fun!” Jisung exclaimed. It’s as if Jeno could see the games flashing through Jisung’s eyes as he dreamily stared into space.

“I want to play ice hockey.” Jeno said with a frown. They have yet to play this year. And with the making of the café, that time seemed to be long in coming. “We’ll play soon, Jeno. Chill.” Chenle replied. They brought home takeout and Jeno did not hesitate to drop himself in the empty seat between Mark and Jaemin to have himself a bite of a half eaten burger. “You guys seemed to have fun.” Jeno commented, his eyes trailing to each and every one of them at the table as they all nodded and hummed. “Obviously! The team I bet on won!” Haechan threw his hands in the air and laughed triumphantly. Haechan gave a high five to Jaemin and Chenle as the two of them laughed along.

“That wasn’t fair!” Jisung huffed out. The rest were silently wallowing in the disappointment. “Free ice cream tomorrow.” Chenle chuckled. “We’ll close up at ten?” Renjun questioned. Jeno looked up to the clock on the wall, just above the counter and nodded. The group went on talking for hours. It was mostly them explaining to Jeno about the games that he wasn’t interested in. But for the sake of his friends, he listened. The longer they went on, the longer Jeno noticed the time was way past ten. It was almost twelve. At least they didn’t have classes the next day so that was a good thing. “Um guys...?” Jeno suddenly let out. The whole group went from laughing hysterically to silence and all attention was on him. “Yeah?” Jaemin asked.

“Is it bad to say that I want us to bring back Hot Sauce?” Jeno already expected their expressions. Some showed their shock outwardly, while the rest were simply silent. But their eyes were filled with uncertainty and wary. “You can’t be serious, right?” Mark turned his eyes from the table and to Jeno. Jeno had a second of doubt in his train of thought, but he has fallen too deep, too quick. “Yes.” Haechan instantly stood up and went around the table to Jeno. He turned Jeno to have him. And he placed firm hands on Jeno’s shoulders. “Do you not remember what happened? What we did? The fact we almost got caught?”

Jeno remembered it clearly. It was a regular day for the guys. Everyone was meeting at Mark’s dorm room for a game night. Jeno was about to roll the dice when Jisung came bursting through the door open. “Guys! I need help! I’m freaking out!” Jisung had his feet moving as if the floor was lava and he couldn’t stop jumping. Chenle had to hold him still to get an answer out of him. “I think I made something.” Everyone looked at each other with skepticism painted on their faces, eyes scrutinising Jisung. They didn’t know if they could trust Jisung’s words. To them he was just the youngest, the most innocent. But what he made certainly wasn’t.

“What do you mean?” Mark asked, tilting his head. Jisung panted and tried to steady his breathing for him to answer. “Follow me to the dorm kitchen.” Jisung brisked walked down the hall, Jeno could hesr his feet shuffling but he quickly stopped in his track, turning back to peek his head out of the doorframe. “Come on!” Jisung urged with his hand gesturing to follow him. Everyone was still exchanging unsure glances, but Haechan was the first one to groan as he stood up to his feet from the floor, jerking his head towards the door. “Let’s just entertain whatever he’s up to.” With the room filled with heaves of sigh and hisses, one by one they stood up and left the dorm to visit the dorm kitchen.

By the time all of them were down to the kitchen, Jisung was already standing there with some equipment in front of him. Laboratory equipment. Jeno narrowed his eyes as everyone gathered around the kitchen counter and leaning towards Jisung, most probably to see what was inside that glass flask. What seemed surprising to Jeno was the fact that it didn’t even look like a solution. It was hot sauce. “Jisung if you’re making some prank on us-” “I’m not!” Jisung protested, grabbing the flask firmly in his hand and bringing up in front of him. “I think I made a love potion. With hot sauce.” Yet again, everyone had a look of disbelief. Looks that said “This is ridiculous. How is this even real?”

“You know we won’t believe you unless you prove it.” Renjun said, leaning back with his arms folded and having both brows raised as a sign for a challenge. Prove that the love potion was real, or they’d win this side of the challenge. “Alright, fine. Tell me someone you want to have fall for you. Any one of you.” Jisung slammed the flask on the table, the loud sound making Jeno flinch since he expected the flask to break from the sound of impact. Luckily it didn’t. “I want to try it on one of the girls in my major.” Chenle said, intentionally making it sound like a joke and laughing out loud afterwards. Jisung frowned deeply and had his eyebrows furrowed and eyes darting onto Chenle. “Come on don’t joke around. I actually think this might work.”

“Jeez okay, okay.” Chenle exhaled for a long moment. He placed his hands on the edge of the kitchen counter and leaned forward, shoulder raised. “So are there any rules I need to follow? Because if this is like those love arrows, a wrong move would result in chaos.” Chenle added on. No one responded. Because no one knew how. Everyone was uncertain about this, deeply skeptical and scrutinising of the whole idea. Jisung unfortunately has yet been able to gain even an ounce of credibility from them. “Well, once they taste the hot sauce, you must be in their line of vision. If my theory is correct, the first person they make eye contact with will the one they’ll fall for.” Jisung sounded like he was some advanced chemist. And to some extend, he was. He is taking a chemistry major after all.

“Have you tried this on... I don’t know, a test subject or something? Rats?” Mark questioned, and it sounded like a genuine one. Jeno simply folded his arms and kept himself quiet while he tried to let all the information sink in. It was hard to believe, and what were the chances of it actually working? The unknown answers to Jeno’s never ending questions, which he’s certain that it was on everyone’s mind as well, got him to let out an unintentional huff through thin lips. “Well... no. But that is why I’m asking you guys to try it. Tomorrow.” Jisung sounded determined. And Jeno couldn’t help but have his heart soften at the sight of his poor friend. “Is there anything else we should know about this ‘love potion’?” The words felt weird rolling off his tongue, it just didn’t set right with him just yet.

“I honestly have no idea what happens after. How deeply they’ll love you, how to break it. I can’t be certain on any of that.” Chenle, Haechan and Renjun gaped their mouths open and let out a breath. “Then shouldn’t we use it on other people and not ourselves?!” Renjun exclaimed. Jisung rolled his eyes with exasperation and slammed his hands palm down on the counter. “I- of course! Why would I put you guys in danger? What I meant was that any of you could ask anybody to try it. I didn’t mean to use it for it to work on you!” Jisung shouted, a groan following after. The kitchen fell silent and an unfamiliarly tense air surged through the gaps of the seven friends.

“Fine. Chenle, take the hot sauce. We’ll meet at the café for Chenle to report what happens. Alright?” The silence continued for a short moment before everyone hummed softly and nodded their heads. Jisung picked up the cork and placed it on the flask, pushing it to Chenle. Everyone watched as Chenle picked it up and took time to examine the flask and its content. He sucked in his lips and nodded as well. With that, everyone exited the kitchen and decided to go back to their own dorms. The thoughts of Jisung and the potential love potion lingering on through the night.

After the spam of a week or so, Jeno was deeply anticipating for the results as he rushed his way to the café at evening. When he entered, everyone was already surrounding the tables, again they were silent. He knew Chenle have yet to tell them the results since everyone gestured for Jeno to come join them, and he took long sprints to get to the table and settle down. Chenle was rubbing his knees anxiously, some followed, while the rest, including Jeno, were dead silent and simply wanted the answer out. Chenle finally took in a deep breath. “It worked. It fucking worked.”

Everyone was speechless, motionless. Everyone’s eyes trailed to each and every one of them, eventually staring down at Chenle and occasionally Jisung. Jisung was the first the move, his mouth hanged open and his eyes widened till it looked like his eyeballs could have fallen out of their eye sockets. Jisung snatched the flask that still had some hot sauce left and raised it in the air. Jeno could see the victorious feelings surging through his friends’s veins. Jisung jumped up from his seat and went in small circles from all the excitement. “Dude! I honestly can’t believe it.” Chenle said. And this time, everyone had an expression of disbelief, but the different kind. The positive kind.

“We need every detail on what happened.” Jeno eagerly asked. Chenle’s story was long winded, but in Jeno’s head, he summarised it as the moment the girl tasted the hot sauce, she suddenly changed. And when she met the eyes of the random guy, she was nothing but head over heels. And it went on for the whole day. “I did some experimenting myself to help you. And I found out how to break the effects of the potion.” Chenle said that the one that tasted the potion had to taste something sweet to settle the taste of heat from the hot sauce. Jisung instantly offered his hand to help make a heartbreak potion in relation to the love potion.

“Do you guys know what this means for us?” Jisung said. Everyone had their brows raised quizzically. “Don’t you see that everyone our age is looking for love? We make it easy for them, and we get paid. We can make a whole business out of this!” Jisung shoved the flask of love potion into everyone’s faces, causing them to lean back, but laughter and happy chuckles spread through the group fast. “Ah yes!” With that, approval was gained. Slowly and surely, they let the news about their secret love potion spread through the campus, and people began buying, with them earning a fortune in no time. It was a successful underground business the guys had, and Jeno was glad he was doing it with his friends.

Until that one day. The day Jaemin used the love potion on himself, and things got extremely rocky. They made a rule to themselves to not use it for their own benefits, but Jaemin was too naive, and wanted to make his crush fall in love with him. But instead, Jeno was one that was loved, not Jaemin. And that almost set the group of friends to crumble with constant distrust. On top of that, being an underground business, they were almost caught by the police. It was an exciting, but also dark time for the guys. Which was why they ended up not making the love potion for good after a few months of easy money, promised to never be brought up again. But it was Jeno that had to do it.

“I remember what happened. But I know what to be careful of now. Please, let me use it.” Jeno was practically pleading at this point. This girl, whoever she was, got him to be this desperate, got him thinking to go to such lengths for her to look his way, and only his. Jaemin placed a hand on Jeno’s shoulders, and his eyes trailed from his hand and to his face. “Please know what you’re doing. I don’t want us being like that again.” Jaemin’s voice was soft and caring, with worry wishing through his words. Jeno blinked one at him, eyes blaring with truth and determination. “I’ll be careful.”

That night, Jeno went back with Jisung to the lab to make the potion, Jaemin following along. Once Jisung was done, and that alone took long hours into the night, Jisung passed it in a small bottle this time, the cork blocking the view of the hot sauce from the top view. Jisung tapped Jeno’s shoulder and walked out of the kitchen, leaving with him and Jaemin in the quiet of the dead night. “I hope it works.” Jeno whispered, eyes on the bottle. He felt Jaemin’s eues on him. “I hope so too.” The words were heavy, and Jeno knew what he was implying. “It’s fine that we went through that. But please don’t let it happen again.”

I was at my study table. The papers were scattered all over in a huge mess. If I were to look at that all that any longer, I might just faint. I turned to around on my chair, letting my body sink into it as I threw my head back in stress and despair. I’ve been sitting here for hours now, and the amount of work I was able to get done was definitely not up to my satisfaction. On top of the stress of having a lot of assignments, I was now stressed on the fact that I wasn’t able to complete any of them. I guess it’s just one of those days when your brain refuses to function. And I seriously hate those days.

I called Jaehyun, asking him to video call me to serve as my mental support and encouragement to do my assignment. But instead he brought up the suggestion of studying at the café. And to that I immediately said yes. “Only if you pay for the food.” I said with a happy laugh as I jumped off my chair to get ready. “i’m sure they’re kind enough to make it free.” I smiled wider. It was late at night and I’m surprised at the fact that they’re still open. Just what time did they close?

Jaehyun and I went in, but we were greeted with only three of them present. Haechan, Mark, and Jeno. “Oh hey guys!” Haechan got up from his seat when he heard the door open and his eyes met ours. The other two turned around and waved at us. I responded back. Jeno’s eyes were locked on mine for what felt like an eternity, and my heart couldn’t help but skip a beat. Luckily it wasn’t enough to have me heat up. That is, until he smiled. The butterflies were quick to flutter in my stomach and heat was raised up to my cheeks. I could only hope that it wasn’t obvious. Jeno’s smile was brief but bright. If he didn’t smile, it’ll seem like he’s someone unapproachable, closed off. That smile changed everything about his aura.

“We just came here to study.” I let out, holding up the stack of papers i had in my hand before bringing it back to my chest. Jaehyun hummed right after and they all nodded, their smiles still plastered on their faces. “We’re hoping to get free drinks?” Jaehyun grinned back, almost in a mischievous way as he raised both his eyebrows up in anticipation. I laughed sheepishly. “We don’t mind.” Jeno said as he rolled his shoulders and slid his hands into his pockets. “What can we get you?” Jeno slowly walked up to where we seat. His eyes were taking small glances to me, and I tried my best to look away to seem natural. “There’s a watermelon drink, right?” Jeno nodded his head. “I’ll just get that.”

“And you?” Jeno gestured to Jaehyun. He offered to allow Jeno choose the drink that was easiest for him to make. I turned my head to the window, afraid that I might explode from the way Jeno kept looking at me. Once he went away, I immediately turned back to face Jaehyun and gasped for air. I can never breathe properly when Jeno’s around. “You don’t look okay.” Jaehyun let out with a raised brow. “Do you think I should be like those girls that don’t think they need anybody to make the guy like them more?” I questioned as the sudden thought popped up in my head. “You mean play hard to get.” Jaehyun gave me an unimpressed look, to which I responded with a roll of my eyes.

“Why would you do that?” Jaehyun asked, purely out of curiosity. “Mm, because it seems like Jeno’s likes me or something.” I shrugged and slumped my back into the chair. Jaehyun turned his head to the threes guys, specifically eyeing Jeno and snapping his head back to me with a laugh of amusement. “I wouldn’t be surprised.” Jaehyun raised his shoulders and folded his arms on the table, leaning in slightly. “But why play hard to get?” I laughed, and Jaehyun was shocked at my response. “Just think it’ll be fun. I’ve never experienced love in awhile now. Nothing wrong in playing a little.” I tilted my head to the side as I watched Jaehyun gape his mouth open and scrunching his face. “There’s so many things wrong with that, _____!” I frowned.

“My life, my rules.” I simply said with a light giggle. Mark came back and served our drinks. He was quick to shuffle back to his friends, not wanting to make a small talk. Jaehyun and I took out our materials for studying, or in my case assignments and began to get to work after I took a sip of my drink and set it aside by the window. The café was entirely silent for the whole time, merely small chatters and bickering from the three that sat at the other table. But after awhile, the murmurs died out. But I didn’t bother to look away from my work since watching Jaehyun actually gave me an encouragement boost, seeing how he’s hardworking and fully in the zone.

I decided to take a five minute break after burning through most of my assignments in a few hours. I didn’t even know what time it was. All I knew was that the sun had set and the night had made itself comfortable in the sky. When I looked up to grab my drink from the window, I saw myself in the reflection, but I also saw Jeno, plainly having his back faced away from me. He’s the only one there, Mark and Haechan were gone and out of sight. I turned around to him. “Hey, Jeno?” I called out, loud enough for him to hopefully hear. He lifted his head up instantly and shot his eyes to me quick. “Yes?” He replied, dropping his phone onto his lap. “Where did Mark and Haechan go?”

Jeno’s mouth formed an ‘O’ as he stood up and idled his way up to our table. He clasped his hands behind his back. “They went out to eat.” Jeno replied with a soft smile. That simple movement would be running laps in my mind. “Why didn’t you go?” Jaehyun questioned as he set his pen down and lifted his arms to stretch them out as well as his back. “He has to take care of the café, Jae.” I replied bluntly since the answer was obvious, but I guess Jaehyun was still zinging back from all the work he had done. Jeno nodded his head upon hearing my response. “I can’t leave the cafe unattended.” There was a long pause of silence for a moment, as Jaehyun and I watched Jeno standing upright awkwardly. “Actually, I might join them.”

I creased my forehead as my mouth gaped open slightly the moment Jaehyun said that. I saw the look in his eyes. I knew what he was doing. I narrowed my eyes down on him and he winked back with glee. I took a moment to take a quick glance at Jeno, and although it was fully visible, a look of shock could be seem for a brief second before disappearing and plastering on a neutral expression. “I’m starving so.” Jaehyun left the unfinished sentence hanging in the air as he rose form his chair and begin to pack up, grabbing all his belongings from the table and placing it into his bag quickly. I knew he was in a rush to get Jeno and I alone. I all but wanted to smack him in the head. “Text me when you get back to the dorms, okay!” Jaehyun shouted from the door as he happily waved at me and ran out of the café.

I absentmindedly let out a sigh as a reaction of Jaehyun’s intention for going out. I lifted my head to Jeno, who was staring at the table so intensely. “You can sit, you know.” I gestured my chin to the table in front of me and with a nervous laughter, he slowly sat down, placing his phone faced down on the table and sliding the chair in. “How was studying?” Jeno asked. I could feel him tense up already, as if I could read his mind while he bit his lower lip. “Why ask such a question?” Was what Jeno could be thinking in his head. “I was actually able to get my shit done. Well, almost.” I chuckled, beginning to gather up my papers and stacking them neatly. While doing so, I felt his eyes on me, as if watching my every move. As a tease, I shot my eyes up to him like a slingshot, a mischievous smile forming on my lips.

Jeno widened his eyes when I did, and I couldn’t help but laugh softly. “You look tensed up with me, calm down.” I finished stacking up my papers and shove it to the side, realising that my cup was already empty to mere drops gathered at the bottom. “I’m not tensed, please.” Jeno cracked a smile and ran a hand through his hair, and oh God I’d want to reply that in my head for hours on. Boy was I falling for this boy fast. But I’d want to classify my feelings as pure infatuation. Although I would want to fall in love, I wanted to be more careful this time, not to fall head over heels on the first glance. “How did you guys come up with the idea of opening up the café?”

That question set our long time of conversation going. I didn’t know how, but our topics quickly changed and as the night grew darker, the topic began to grow more deep, more personal. I got to know a few things about him. Like how he liked to bike, and has a thing for cats. He told me that the possibility of the fact that I didn’t know him was because he was only popular in his major as well as the connections of his friends. And I’d agree. I never did anything else other than going for lectures and going to the dorm straight after. I wasn’t the most social out there, but neither was Jeno. His only friend circle were his six friends, and that’s that.

“You seem to have the perfect life.” I muttered, at this point, I had my body faced to the window, looking at the ink black sky that was painted with splatters of white as stars. What’s even better was that the moon was shining, and that gave the darkened café a glow above the white aesthetic of the café. “I just never been in love for a long time.” I blinked my eyes, turning to Jeno. Jeno’s eyes flickered with uncertainty for a moment, but he slowly shook his head to get rid of them. “That’s a story for another time.” I didn’t know how, but I guess the ambiance of the café got our voices to get soft and gentle, exchanging our words with whispers and mutters. It was so calming and peaceful. My night talk with Jeno was something I wished I could do every night. The quietness of the atmosphere, and everything about this moment. I wanted it to last.

“You should go home. I’m worried I’m keeping you up.” Jeno must’ve noticed how my eyes kept fluttering open each time I talked, with them falling back to close right after. I weakly hummed and moved my body to face him. “Yeah, I guess.” With that, Jeno helped me to pack my things and send me to the door. “You are okay to go back yourself, right?” I hummed again. “How’s that Taeyong guy, he’s not texting you or anything?” I smacked my lips and heaved a long sigh. “He’s far into my past for me to give a fuck anymore. Well, except for that one night. But yes, I am well capable of going myself.” I flashed a reassuring smile. He placed a hand on my shoulder, sending a bolt of lighting through my whole body, but I tried to not make myself flinch at the touch and left the café.

—Say you'll call me baby.

The moment Jeno closed the door, he couldn’t help but frown. He slowly took the small bottle of love potion out of his apron, playing it around his palm as he thought of whether he should use it or not. It seemed like she genuinely liked him. But it also felt like she didn’t want to be anything more. But how could Jeno assume her feelings towards Jeno this quickly. All Jeno is right now is blinded by her everything. And he wanted her to be his. I wrapped his fingers around the bottle tightly, squeezing it hard as he thought over it one last time. Was it the right thing to do? No. But was Jeno desperate? Yes. He wanted her desperately, and if the love potion’s not going to let someone like her slip out of his grasp, he’ll gladly do it. It sounded selfish if he were to say it out loud, but he couldn’t help it.

“I want her to call me baby.”

“You haven’t used it on her yet?” Jeno jumped at the familiar voice, shooting his head up so fast it almost gave him whiplash. Jaemin was standing right in front of him, posture laid back and relaxed with his hands sliding in his pockets. His eyes flickered to the bottle for a moment and back to him. Jeno was too deep in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice his friend making an entrance. Jeno noticed the shift of his eyes and looked down to the bottle as well, quickly pulling it out of their sight by placing it behind hum. “Um- well no. Not yet.” Jeno said, his voice just slightly shaky after he cleared his throat. “Why?” Jaemin swerved around Jeno to get past him and Jeno turned around.

To get his mind to settle after going far with this thoughts, he decided to ask another question. “Why’re you here?” Jaemin clicked his tongue, his back still facing Jeno as he walked around the café. Jaemin inhaled sharply, his chest lifting up before it went back down in a flash. “They told me to come check on you. Don’t know why because I know you’re responsible enough to close the café yourself.” Jaemin didn’t look at him when he replied as he slowly walked to the window. “You didn’t answer me.” Jaemin muttered. “It’s too quick to use it now.” Jeno let out in a mere whisper, he knew his friend would hear him. Jeno took slow strides to stand next to Jaemin who was by the window, noticing just how deep into the night they were.

Jaemin turned his head slightly to Jeno, but not entirely. HIs eyes were still on the scenery. “I thought you were so eager to use it. You seem to really like her.” Jaemin added on. Jeno could hear his gentle breathing. Jeno sucked in a breath to prolong the time he needed to answer. To be very honest, he didn’t exactly have one. But after a long pause, he let out, “I just wanted to see if it’s even needed to use the love potion.” Jeno frowned ever so slightly, looking at Jaemin in the reflection of the window, seeing a slightly surprised expression on his face but he was quick to ice it over. “Did you not think of the factors that come with this?” Jaemin slid his hands out of his pockets and folded his arms, placing his weight on one leg.

Jeno raised an eyebrow. “As if I didn’t.” Jeno muttered, his words accidentally rolling off his tongue with a sharp tone which earned an expected scoff from Jaemin. “I’m just saying. Jisung didn’t make that potion in months, almost a hear.” Jaemin gulped, his upper body slowly turned to face Jeno. “What if something bad happens?” At this point, reckless Jeno from the long day was starting to take effect, and he was beginning to get tired of Jaemin sending constant hint, though at the back of his mind he knew Jaemin was saying all the those for his safety, for the safety of his heart.

“If you don’t want me to use the love potion just say it.” Jeno rubbed his temples and let out a huff. Jaemin was so surprised by Jeno’s reply that he leaned back. Jaemin had never seen this defensive side of his friend in a long time. “I just...” Jeno waited for Jaemin to finish his sentence, but it was left hanging in the tensed air that was between them. “I’m sorry.” Jeno breathed out, glancing down to his feet before lifting his head back up and straightening his back. “It’s fine. It’s your life. Whatever happens, I’ll be here for you.” Jeno turned to him, a small sincere smile was on his face, and it warmed Jeno’s heart enough to reciprocate it. “Let’s pack up. And I’m sleeping at your dorm tonight.” Jaemin’s smile quickly turned to a cheeky one as he hopped to get to the entrance. Jeno chuckled, shaking his head. “Why’s that?”

Jaemin had a hand on the cafe door. Jaemin snapped his head to Jeno’s direction. “I didn’t do that for quite some time now, don’t you think?” Jeno widened his smile till a grin appeared, dashing to turn off all the lights and quickly exiting the cafe. But before he did, he took one last glance at the table where she seated, almost seeing her figure made his heart thump in a matter of seconds but he shook his head to clear slate of her and ran after Jaemin.

“Anyone who hasn’t finished their assignments, please get them ready the next time I see you. Don’t ask me for extra credits on this one.” The lecture hall was filled with long groans and whines. I wished I could get out right now so I didn’t have to deal with this any longer. It’s stupid how students beg for extra credits but are yet able to submit their assignment on time. I didn’t see the point to it. My professors rolled his eyes and huffed in exasperation. “Quit the whining you’re all too old for that. Class dismissed.” Everyone instantly stood up from their seats and wasted no time to exit the hall. Everyone was so eager to leave. And wanting to avoid the commotion at the door, I waited behind and took my time to pack up.

Once the exit was completely empty, which only took about five minutes since everyone was pushing each other to get out, I finally slung my bag over my shoulders and carried my laptop in my hand before walking down the stairs to get to the exit. And when I stepped out and turned to the right, I was instantly met and a figure laying their back against the brick wall, legs out while they casually scrolled through their phone. Though I couldn’t see their face due to them wearing a black cap, the bright blonde hair that stood out below was blinding and I immediately knew who it was at the very first glance. “Jeno...?” I called out, walking towards him slowly. He instantly lifted his eyes off his phone, meeting mine and a small smile grew on his lips. “Hey.”

I glanced about our surroundings. There were certainly people staring. Whispers and murmurs floated in the air and came to reach me so fast that I wish I could melt into the floor and disappear from the face of the earth. I sucked in my lips and breathed out, shaking my head. “What exactly are you doing here?” I asked in a hushed tone. I was suddenly feeling cautious as the eyes of whoever’s were drilling down my back. It felt wrong to have Jeno right in front of me right now. It’s as if he was too good for me to be around with. But not going to lie, that is true. Students were giving me disgusted glances and glares. I washed away such thoughts and brought my attention back to Jeno, who had his eyes on the people around us before pushing himself away from the floor and sighing purposefully loud for them to hear.

“I genuinely didn’t know what time you ended lecture so I waited.” Jeno said with the most casual tone ever. I squinted my eyes at him and tilted my head a mere fraction. I took this time to look him up and down. His fit was the most casual thing ever. Black shirt tucked loosely in black jeans ripped at the knees and black sneakers. The black cap made him look mysterious, cold. He’d honestly seem like someone I would never dare to approach with an outfit this dark. But it accentuated his perfect body proportions along with having his biceps just slightly showing under his sleeves. The look was simple, but he made it a hundred time more attractive. “And why were you waiting?”

Jeno lifted his cap off and ran his free hand through his hair. That action alone got my heart to speed up its pace and began to feel unsteady under my skin. “I actually wanted you to come to the café to try something new I made.” Jeno smiled widely till his eyes formed a thin line. The cap overshadowed his face, but I could clearly see the features of his face. And right now, he looked like those cute dogs. However, the low chatters, stares, scrutinising glances were beginning to take over my mind. And for some reason, I wished that I wasn’t standing with Jeno in public right now. “Can you text me and I’ll go some other time?” I whispered, brushing a strand behind my ear as I shot back annoyed eyes to the people walking by, to no one specific. But I knew a lot of people were talking about me. As if I wasn’t made to be In Jeno’s line of vision.

Jeno gave me a weirded out look and blinked his eyes rapidly. “Why? I waited so I could take you there right now.” He said, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. I could tell he was taking quick glances at where I kept looking and he bit his lower lip. “We’ll get out of here.” Jeno reached out to hold my wrist, but I quickly pulled back, shaking my head. “No, please. Just... now’s not the right time. Text me later, I guess.” I gulped and squinted my eyes shut before turning around sharply and walking away in a quick pace. I stared down at the floor, too annoyed to look up as the whispers trailed along behind me but drowned out the further I went. If being around Jeno would earn me such hate, I wouldn’t even dare to be seen with him like just now ever again. I didn’t want to deal with that. Jeno’s too good for me. That I could already tell. And this just confirmed that he was.

—Tell me you'll be okay. If I leave you alone today

Jeno stood there, completely stunned and frozen as he watched her back grew smaller and she went further and eventually disappearing when she turned a corner. Jeno let out a frustrated groan and took his cap off to ruffle his hair, shutting his eyes. He opened them back up with a sharp motion, turning around to walk the other way and a shake of his head. Jeno wondered what was with her sudden defensive aura. He knew it was because of the never ending drills of eyes on them. But he could’ve quickly drew them out of there and headed for the café. Jeno guessed that he was too late. Jeno planned to use the potion on her that day, too bad disappeared the moment he took a step forward for her.

That night, Jeno was restless. He was pacing to and fro of his dorm, throwing his phone up in the air and catching, continuing with that motion through the hours he’d been pacing. Jeno wanted to see her again. Jeno wanted to use the potion. But it seemed like he was losing every given time to do so. And he felt like he was at a loss. Giving up and finding no point in wasting his physical energy walking, he dropped himself onto his bed and laid down, eyes staring into the ceiling as if picturing Jeno and her together, something that would be a gamble to happen. He sighed quietly. “Tell me you’re okay. Even if you don’t want me there.” Jeno whispered to himself as he prayed that she’ll be okay even if he wasn’t there for her.

Jeno hasn’t seen her for the next few days. She didn’t come to the café anymore. And when Jaehyun came occasionally, she wasn’t there with him. Even at the official opening of the café and the time after, she wasn’t there. Jeno was getting worried. She wasn’t even seem on campus whenever Jeno went for lectures. It’s as if she disappeared entirely, just like how it was before. He wondered day after day where she could’ve gone. He would’ve asked Jaehyun, but he said no for the sake of her privacy.

“She’s been through things, Jeno.” Jaehyun muttered, his voice a low rasp as he began explaining about her situation. They were sitting on the benches on campus, and Jeno hoped she’d somehow appear, but of course he couldn’t deny the reality. “What has she been through?” Jeno asked in desperation. He saw the hesitation flicker in Jaehyun’s eyes for a clear moment. He heaved a sigh and ran a hand down his face. “Taeyong. He raped her.” There were no filters to his words, no sugarcoating, nothing. It was out there in the open, hard and tense off his tongue. Jeno could tell Jaehyun’s heart felt heavy in an instant, and so was his. He shouldn’t have asked. Now he was feeling bad.

Later that night he was up again, just like any night. Clearly he had her on his mind. But this time, it was just a little different. Jeno was laying out all he knew in his mind, mapping it all out in hopes to sort out his feelings that he has still yet to unravel and identify. The longer he stared up the ceiling and ponder, he might have just came to a conclusion.

“I’ll use it on you, so you wouldn’t have to go through it again.” That was what Jeno planned to do. He could’ve just made it work like how regular relationships have their buildup. But what if it doesn’t work? What if she’s too scared of Jeno? That’s what he feared. And he wanted to show her that she didn’t need to suffer. He wanted to make sure she knew. He has now shifted his focus on the potion. Clearly he wanted to use it for her to fall in love with him, but he also wanted to make her feel better. To know that Jeno was there for her. He turned to his side with a grunt, staring into blank space before finally shutting his eyes.

I flinched when I was tapped on the shoulder hard and I instantly swing my head behind on instinct. “Jaehyun!” I shouted, punching his arm lightly as he laughed and moved to walk beside me. I folded my arms and feigned a sigh. “Let’s go to the café.” Jaehyun suggested, and my heart suddenly felt its weight. I sucked in my lips, my feelings and mind unsure on making a decision. “I don’t feel like it...” I whispered, glancing down to the floor before looking up to have my face meet the sunlight. I shut my eyes and kept walking with my head lifted up. I heard Jaehyun sigh quietly and he hummed, somewhat finding a way to sort out his words in his head.

“I know you don’t want to go because of Jeno. But just try... No one will get to you like how Taeyong did. I’ll make sure of it.” Jaehyun said, his tone gentle with a sheer underlying persuasion. I groaned and adverted my eyes to Jaehyun. “Even if he likes me, he’s too good for me. People stared at me like it was a crime for someone as perfect as Jeno to be waiting outside the lecture hall for me. It’s ridiculously annoying and I don’t think I can put up with it 24/7.” I ran a frustrated hand through my hair before continuing. “There are plenty of other reasons why he’s too good for me too.” I ended the sentence with a voice almost inaudible.

I could tell Jaehyun was just as frustrated as I am, because he fired back. “He may be too good. But he sees something in you that has never caught his attention like any other girls here. Give him a chance. Get out of your “closed off” phase. I hate how what happened with Taeyong is keeping you from being fully happy.” I hate to admit it, but Jaehyun was right. I’ve never been entirely happy. Of course I had Jaehyun, but he had a life for himself to live. He couldn’t be with me always. And without him, my life hasn’t seen that much joy. And Jeno was seen as a possible opening to that joy for me, maybe.

Jaehyun wrapped an arm around my shoulders and I gave him a death glare. “Don’t give me that look. You know I’m right anyways. So let’s go to the café.” With his strong hold, I knew I couldn’t get out of it and I was about to be dragged to the café just like Jaehyun wanted. I closed my eyes for a moment to mentally prepare myself and we went.

At the café, not all the guys were there. It seemed like they were taking turns to take shifts each day. And today was none other than Jeno. As if fate wanted him to be here, and wanted me to come on this very day. The sunlight was blaring into the café and brought full light on the white of the café. Jeno lifted his head up from the sound of the door opening and smiled. I wished I wasn’t so easily swayed by such a simple movement. But it was Jeno. “The usual?” I had on a confused look till Jaehyun hummed and I realised Jeno was referring to him. I guess he saw my expression, because he turned to me and asked, “Do you want what you ordered last time?” I simply nodded my head, no words coming out of my mouth.

Jaehyun and I took a seat as the two of us watched Jeno preparing our drinks with speed and profession. I exhaled deeply. “I like him. But I’m too scared.” I finally admitted, keeping my voice so low for only one pair of ears to hear.

On the other hand, Jeno was taking quick glances at her, seeing if she was looking. And indeed she was, along with Jaehyun. Jeno kept his eyes on the drinks, but kept peaking down to his apron pocket where the small glass bottle of hot sauce glistened. Jeno wet his lips and slowly took it out as he brought the drinks to the machine. And in one quick swift motion, he made sure he eyed the correct drink and dumped in just three drops of the hot sauce. He gulped deeply and threw it back into the pocket of his apron. He proceeded to quickly make a drink of his own and bringing it to them in a flash. He made sure to not mix up the drink and sat down beside Jaehyun.

I smiled the moment Jeno placed my drink in front of me and sat down. I licked my lips, looking down at the drink and thought about how long it had been since I last drank it. “I actually added something new to that drink. Was wondering if you could tell me what you think.” Jeno leaned in. For some reason, he leaned in quite a lot, as if he only wanted himself to be in my line of sight. I chuckled and nodded my head, dipping down to place my lips on the heart shaped straw. I sucked in a sip, my eyes unconsciously locking onto Jeno’s as he stared at me with such intent and attention.

I swallowed it. I couldn’t help but cough at the taste. It felt the same, but there was something... spicy underlying the refreshing flavours. I scrunched my face up and leaned back, shaking my head. “Jeno... what did you-” My mind went blank.

Jeno was observing her every move. Every twitch on her face. She was blinking her eyes rapidly, and when she opened them back, she had her eyes darting on Jeno, and Jeno only. She gulped, and her eyes were filled something light, a look of uplift. “Jeno...” She whispered softly. She gaped her mouth open and leaned in, their faces merely inches away from each other and Jeno’s heart began to pick up its pace at the small sparks that were bursting between. Even if they weren’t real. “What the fuck?” Jeno turned to Jaehyun when he sounded. He raised an eyebrow and leaned back in his sear with folded arms. “I mean I knew she liked you but she’s never shows it until-” Jaehyun paused, a scoff escaping his lips. “Now.”

Jaehyun didn’t notice her sudden change? Was it not obvious that he used something on her? It looked natural? Jeno’s mind was spiralling with questions and he refrained himself from looking to shocked at Jaehyun’s casual reaction. Jeno slowly adverted his attention back to her. She had her palms on her cheeks. It looked so real. Her eyes were sparkling with Jeno in her sight. Butterflies began to flutter in his stomach, a feeling he’s never felt in so long. It felt new. “I want to be alone with you, Jeno.” Jeno’s eyes widened so much, and he couldn’t help but lean back from the sudden statement. Jaehyun scoffed again, this time louder. “I’ll go.” Jaehyun rose up from his seat. With a sly look, he pat Jeno’s arm firmly and finish whatever’s left of his drink and dashed out.

Jeno watched Jaehyun the whole way till the door closed and he disappeared. Jeno sucked in his lips, hearing her hum softly. “H-How are you feeling?” Jeno was still in bewilderment by how it was actually working. He was indeed fascinated to see the potion working its magic on the person he wanted. “I feel normal. But so in love...” Her giggles echoed through the lone café and Jeno gulped in nervousness the moment she lifted her hand and grazed her fingers his, tracing them slowly and eventually interlocking her fingers with his. Jeno felt the heat rushing up his cheeks. It was clearly obvious that he’s blushing seeing how she used her free hand to brush her thumb on his cheek. “Why are you so cute, hm?” She asked, tilting her head and smiling widely till her eyes formed thin lines.

Jeno chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck that was how sweaty from the sudden overwhelming heat he was feeling. He looked into her eyes. It looked beautiful, shining so bright with so much love and happiness. He’d never seen her like this, and it was like she glowed up like the sun was made to shine only on her. But at the same time, the longer he looked, the longer he began to wonder just how much of the love in her eyes were even real. Maybe a tiny bit, or none at all.

With my eyes shut, I squinted them tight as the sunlight hit my face and glared at me. Struggling to flutter them open, I sat up, pressing my hands into the mattress. And that’s when it hit me. A sharp pain in my head as a migraine began to take place. It was so bad that I pressed my hand to my head, wincing in pain as if a needle was poking into my skull. I groaned and tried to move, but to no avail. I dropped back into bed. I rolled over to cover my eyes from the burning sun. But that was when I tried to search for my phone, frantically tapping the sheets to find it. Once I did, I turned it on, and realised it was twelve in the afternoon.

I sprang out of bed. I took a second look at my phone. How was I unaware of what day it was today? And what happened yesterday? I barely remembered anything. “I didn’t drink, did it?” I questioned myself softly as I lost my balance from the migraine and leaned my hand on the study table as I took wary steps out of my room. I thought it over again. I couldn’t have drank. I didn’t drink in a long time. So how was it that I didn’t remember anything from yesterday? I was able to take slow steps to the living room, dropping myself into the couch and running a hand through my hair. I turned on my phone yet again to call Jaehyun. And as I typed in the first two letters, another name besides Jaehyun’s came up.

“Jeno?” I lifted a hand to scratch my head. I never added Jeno to my contacts list before. When did I do that? I squint my eyes shut, trying my best to recall whatever that I did yesterday, or to know if I was even awake. And the only I last remembered was being at the café with Jaehyun. In an attempt to use some logical thinking, I could deduce that I possibly got Jeno’s number because he was at the café with me yesterday. But why would I ask for it. At the moment, my thumbs moved on its own, too late for my train of thoughts to aline and I already realised that I was calling Jeno. He picked up in a matter of seconds and I brought my phone up to my ear. “Hey baby.”

At the sound of Jeno’s voice and words, I was instantly put in a trance. I didn’t know how, but it was as if I got transported in my subconscious. I knew what was happening, what I was doing. And that was what’s making me have the strong urge to jump out of my skin shock. “Jeno! I missed you, baby!” I cried out, a smile cracking on my lips. I tried to shake my head, but I couldn’t. I was stuck. I didn’t have the intention to say those words. I also didn’t know I was going to do that. What was happening to me? “I have a lecture today. You want meet me and we could possibly go somewhere?” My eyes lit up with much joy and glee. I couldn’t believe my consciousness was acting like this. It’s not me at all.

“Mm sure! What time does it end?” The smile never felt my face. It was plastered there I knew it wouldn’t come off. My mind began picturing Jeno, with us going out to the city at night. Is that what I was envisioning? Even my heart was beating at a rapid speed when I didn’t want it to. It’s like all my actions were being controlled by something. It had my body react in a way that I couldn’t possibly tell at the moment. What’s scaring me the most was that I couldn’t do anything to stop it. And I could only let my consciousness take over the moment I sprang up at the mention that Jeno’s lecture would end at four in the evening. “Alright I’ll see you then. Love you!” I chuckled softly and ended the call, throwing my phone on the couch and running to my room to get dressed.

But ‘Love you’? Why would I say that? I was so confused as to what’s going on. My migraine disappeared too the moment this happened. I was getting ready, frantically picking out an outfit. At least my conscious knew what kind of clothes I would wear. Once I was done I turned to my full length mirror. I took a step forward to get a good look at my face, and when I stared into my eyes, there was a brief moment of darkness. I was still looking at my figure. I blinked my eyes. I did that. I glanced down to my fingers and moved them. I did that too. I slapped both my hands to my cheeks and I felt the sting that came from the impact. I’m suddenly back to my usual self.

I sucked in a breath and took a step back, looking up and down my whole outfit. Not going to lie, I did look good. I would’ve admired myself if I wasn’t so taken aback by the mysterious occurrence I just went through. I could hear my phone ringing suddenly from the living room. I walked slow, peeking my head forward and seeing it was Jeno who’s calling. I picked up, wanting him to say something first. “Hey, you ready? I’m already going out.” Jeno said, a happy tone shined through his words. I gulped and laughed softly, wanting to cover my awkwardness. “Y-Yeah I’m coming.” That stutter was not meant to be let out. Jeno hummed and ended the call. I grabbed my necessities and shoved them into the bag that matched my outfit and walked out the door.

As I went down the hallway and out of my dorm building, I kept shaking my head, trying to map everything out. What I just went through was certainly not normal. It’s like I was out of my body, yet trapped by the decisions made by whatever is doing this to me. I had my eyes on the floor for so long as if the answer would just magically appear, but of course to no avail, and I was left in the darkness to the actual thing that happened. My mind was all over the place, jumping here and there, making conclusions that I knew right off the bat was not possible. Or at least, scientifically possible.

I was way too deep in my thoughts that I bumped into someone. Hard. So hard that I stumbled back. And just when I thought I was going to fall, I was saved by a hand wrapping around my waist. With a firm and strong grip, it pulled me to stand back on my feet. But the hand stayed there. I slowly trailed my eyes up from where I was looking. A loose white button up that was ever so slightly see through and at the short gap between us, I could see just a hint of his abs shining through. It wasn’t buttoned up all the way, one or two unbuttoned. I was met with his collarbone and jawline, sharp and precise like it could cut steel. And finally his face. It was Jeno. His bright puppy smile blinding my vision.

“You seem to have your mind caught up in something.” Jeno said in a hushed tone, lifting his free hand and placing both his hands on my hips. His hold softened itself and his fingers hovered over my skin. I leaned back, biting my lower lip. I didn’t know how to respond. My heart thumping so hard it could possibly rip through my ribcage. I feel my cheeks heating up and I’m pretty sure they were now painted with a light shade of pink. I gaped my mouth open, fascinated at just how perfect Jeno looked. That I was even able to see him this close. His touch and deep eyes had my mind go blank and he had to lean in closer to check if I was okay. That wasn’t making it any better.

“You good, love? You’re blushing again.” Jeno chuckled, his low raspy voice that I never knew he could have till now send a cold shiver down my spine. I didn’t know what was happening. But if I wanted to get to the bottom of this, it looks like I’ll have to act. “Am I?” I pressed my palms to my cheeks, it was certainly burning hot. His hand slide up my curved, never lifting his hand off my body and trailed it to my hand. With the most lightest touch ever, he leaned down to kiss my knuckles. I blinked my eyes rapidly. I couldn’t keep a natural face. This was all an overwhelming amount of attractiveness at one go. I felt like collapsing right then and there.

“You look pretty.” Jeno finally steps back, finally giving me space for me to breath and let my lungs begin to function again as he eyed me up and down. He giggled and nodded his head. “You really do.” He reinforced, his hand now touching mine to interlock our fingers together. “You look good too.” Jeno seemed to make it possible for someone to look stunning just by wearing a mere button up and black jeans. Adding on was his blinding blonde hair that never failed to bring the look together. “Where are we going though?” I let out the question I’ve had on my mind this whole time.

Jeno began walking and it took me awhile to walk as well as I felt the tug of his hand, urging me to follow. “I’m offering to spend the whole day with you doing whatever we like. It’s our first time out, so I wanted to do what you like.” Jeno said with a carefree sigh leaving his lips as he looked up to the sky with a soft smile. It’s like he was genuinely happy to be hanging out with me and that made my heart miss a beat. “But I don’t want to make it all about me.” I replied, wanting to sound as engaged as possible. But if I’m being honest, I really was interested in finding out what he liked to do. Jeno breathed out a chuckle and downshifted his head. “How about the arcade?” Jeno tilted his head with a cheeky smile and I really couldn’t say no.

There wasn’t a word that could describe the day I had with Jeno. Even if there was, I’d never be able to describe it. It felt... magical. I never experienced something like this in a long time. The feeling of warmth, care for every move I make, Jeno’s gentleness treating me like I was a fragile human. We did things like from going to the arcade, to ice cream shop hopping, window shopping. He never showed any sign of boredom throughout. We ate and we talked, somehow the conversation was able to flow with ease. My heart fluttered each time he looked at me, each time he smiled, each time he got close and sent fireworks bursting in me with just the lightest touch. Jeno’s... perfect.

The night I spent with Jeno really buried whatever happened in the afternoon deep, but it was still at thr back of my mind. I’d figure it out when I get back. But right now, all I wanted to focus on were the stars that look like white paint splattering on an ink black canvas, twinkling above while I huddled close to Jeno with our legs hanging over the edge of the rooftop. My body was already pressed up against his, but he urged me to get closer with a squeeze of his hand on my waist. “I like this.” I whispered softly. This could’ve been a dream. It all felt too unreal. But it’s a dream I’ll never want to wake up from. The cold breeze winded by and a ton of hair got on my face. Jeno giggled and used his free hand to swipe away the strands in bits.

Jeno’s eyes were admiring every inch of her face as he went. The look in her eyes was beautiful. He longed to stay like this for hours. The love potion made this possible. And he somewhat felt glad he used it, despite having guilt anchored at the bottom of his heart.

“Can we make this an every week thing?” I whispered, thinking of the idea of wanting to escape, that he was my escape. I knew I’d have a great day well spent with him, and I’d like to have more days with him like these in the future. Jeno’s large hand held the back if my head and shifted me to rest my head on his chest while he placed his chin on the crown of my head. He hugged me, his hold just righr, his embrace subtle but perfect. “Anytime you need it, love.” His voice could send me floating up to the bright moon that had its light shining subtly on us.

But it was also this time that I began to wonder if it was my “possessed” self that needed to be on this date and not me. Then how was I suppose to feel? Would I have felt this feeling even if it wasn’t me in my skin? The questions slowly began to spiral as the silence of the night went on, but before it could give me a headache, “I think we should go. It’s late.” I muttered. A small cute frown appeared on his face but he slowly nodded his head. “Let’s go then.”

Later that night, Jeno spent hours having memories of their night running laps in his minds. He kept resonating it, and he never seemed to get bored of it. In fact, it made him more light and happier. Jeno was head over heels with this girl, and the didn’t mind falling this deep. Because he already knew that she was his. “So did the potion work?” Jeno flinched intensely as Jaemin’s voice entered the dorm and he sauntered towards him. Jeno grinned widely and furiously nodded his head. “I went out with her and it was so... magical a-and perfect.” Jeno gestured his hands around, outwardly trying to express himself.

“I’m glad.” Jaemin cracked a sincere smile, punching Jeno’s chest lightly with his first. “Just don’t forget to break the potion, okay?” Jeno smiled sheepishly to the floor and nodded, though Jaemin’s words didn’t fully submerge into his mind. All he could think about was the works of the love potion, and now it only made him fall for her a hundred folds.

I was on campus one day, just getting out of a lecture that really killed my braincells for the day. I was so worn out. That lecture somehow felt years longer than it should. And the boredom I got from it drained all the energy out of me. I was practically a lifeless walking corpse with my hunched over back and sliding footsteps. I didn’t have my eyes in front for the while I was walking, my eyes barely half opened. “_____.” On instinct I turned my head to the direction of the call. As if on cue, all life has suddenly come back into my body. And as my eyes met Jeno’s, I was taken over again. It’s like I wasn’t even tired in the first place. Against my will, I ran up to Jeno with the brightest smile ever.

“Hey baby.” I said, wrapping my arms around his torso while his unconsciously meets my waist. Reciprocating my smile, he said “Rare for us to meet on campus.” I freed one hand and teasingly placed it on his chest, playing with the fabric of his shirt. I didn’t like how whatever’s controlling me was making me so flirty and girly. I’m hating it. “Mm that’s true.” I replied, lowering my voice. “Are you free today?” I asked, a small frown appearing on my face. Jeno freed his hands from my waist and placed his index fingers on the corner of my mouth, rising my lips to turn my frown upside down. I giggled at the motion. “I’m actually going to the library to study. You can accompany me if you’d like.”

I eagerly nodded, releasing myself from Jeno and going to stand beside him with my hand lacing its fingers with his. I looked up at him with an overly bright smile. “Let’s go.” At the library, I was still in my subconscious. This spell thing or whatever is getting me to behave much more differently than I usually am. Does Jeno not see this? Does he not realise that I’m not me right now? Jeno had his eyes on his textbook. But he still kept giving me sidelong glances each second while I stared at him dreamily against my will. Just what was making me do all this?

“Why aren’t you studying, hm?” I felt a pull from my chest and I was instantly back to myself. To check if indeed I was, I began to pat my shoulders, arms and cheeks. Jeno chuckled softly in response. “Did you hear me, love?” Jeno leaned in close to my face with a whisper, and I leaned back slightly in shock, mouth agape and blinking eyes. Once I fully got to my senses, I shook my head vigorously. “I did.” I adjusted my upper body, straightening my back and pulling myself closer to the table. “I do that things to study.” I turned around to grab my book from my bag that was sitting on the chair next to me. And suddenly I felt a heavy weight on my chest, slowly arms snaking around my waist and I was instantly enveloped with warmth. I looked from my bag and tilted my head down, seeing Jeno resting his head on me with a firm grip on me. “You do that, and I’ll sleep on you.” Jeno smiled with his eyes closed. And honestly, that was the most adorable thing I’ve seen him do yet.

I raised a brow and shook my head, the chuckle leaving my lips. “Okay, okay.” I said, the small, almost invisible smile was still on me while I began to study. But it was hard to, with Jeno’s peaceful sleeping figure on me. Slowly and surely, as if my hand had a mind of its own, I placed my pen down and reached for Jeno’s hair. My fingers were hesitant for a moment, but they soon made contact with his hair. As expected, it was soft, silky and smooth. There was a light shine to his hair that the light reflected off. The bright blonde of his hair really got me to wonder how he kept his hair healthy after dying his hair such a colour. Jeno flinched at my action but relaxed himself in no time and got back to sleep.

Since I wasn’t able to concentrate studying, my mind trailed off from Jeno to my weird situation. I was going in and out of my conscious and it’s as if I was put under a spell of some sort to be someone I’m not. There’s obviously the possibility of some witchcraft being used on me since although the trend of making potions had died long ago, the existence of it still remains. And it shouldn’t be a surprise that there are people that still make it. But what potion was used on me? And when did I even eat it? If it’s making me act this lovey dovey towards Jeno then... was a love potion used on me? I gimaced at the thoughts. There’s no way someone like Jeno used a love potion on me. If I developed any feelings for him, it’s genuine and not forced and faked by a potion. Right?

“What’s wrong?” My lips formed an ‘O’ and I snapped my head down to Jeno who was looking at me with half opened and still sleepy eyes. I ran my hand through his soft hair again, combing through them in a slow pace. “If you’re this sleepy then you should sleep in your dorm and not here.” Jeno hummed and shook his head slowly, digging deeper into my chest and making me giggle from the tickled feeling I got from it. “I want to be with you.” Jeno’s voice was muffled against my shirt but it was clear as day through my eyes. And to hear Jeno say something like that had my heart feelings many different things at once.

For the next few days which lengthened itself into months, my relationship with Jeno slowly became from friends to lovers. Jeno was considerate with everything we did, asking if if was okay for us to kiss, or to take things to the next level. It’s as if he wouldn’t do anything without the decision being made by me. But in the process, I was still switching in and out. It came at random times, but those random times were while I hung out with Jeno. Whether it’d be seeing him on campus or hearing his voice through our calls, there was no telling when I’d switch and it frustrated me for so long now.

One day late at night I went to the library in hopes of fiinding a book that would explain whatever it is that was happening to me. And to my surprise, there was. It’s located in the History section of the library. I was surprised that such books on potion still existed and put on shelves for education. I doubt anyone touched this is years. The book had caught dust in the surface of the pages as well as any crevice and smallest nook it could get itself into. I slowly opened it up and tried my best to not get dust on my self as I brushed them away, reaching my hand out as far as possible to distance my face from the book. Once most of the dust was gone, I began to flip the page where it said “Love Potion” as the topic.

I began reading. And my eyes widened with each paragraph I read going down. The effects of the potion, it’s what I’m experiencing now. It said that it could be put into anything. So anything that I ate that day could’ve had the presence of the potion and I digested it into my body without me knowing. And the only way to break it was with a “Heartbreak Potion.” But it doesn’t say how to make it. Even if there was, it’d be impossible for me to find the ingredients for it. I balled fists into my hair as I silently groan in frustration. Great, I’m under a love spell that got me to like Jeno, the first person I looked at the moment the potion took effect. And then it hit me.

“Wait... If Jeno was the one that used the potion on me?” My body froze for a moment and my breathing stopped, lungs clenching but my mind continued to turn its gears. Why would he do that in the first place? As much as I wanted to think it wasn’t true, I had to ask him for the answer myself. And so the next day, I called Jeno, and prayed that the potion would not work on me while I asked him.

“Do you know about the love potion?” I asked Jeno. We were sitting on the bench on campus as the sun was setting. Streaks of pink and orange filled the sky with hints of purple. The weather wasn’t bad, too. It was cooling and just right. I hate how I had to make the air around us tense by asking this question. Jeno lifted his head up from my shoulder and rest his chin, looking up at me and shrugging. “Yeah, I guess. It used to be popular.” I gulped deeply and tightened my grip on my knees. “Have you ever tried it on someone before...?” Jeno slowly sat up right, he was looking at me, specifically right into my eyes as if searching for something in them. A long moment of silence went by, and it was a long moment of not being able to breathe in anticipation.

“So you knew.” I froze. My face remained expressionless. Knew? So I was right? He used the potion me. Jeno sighed and nodded his head in a defeating manner, sucking in his lips before saying “I could already tell something was wrong with the potion when your behaviour changed ever now and then.” He let out, scratching his eyes. I was still in a freezing moment, and it took awhile for the anger to settle in. And once it did when I came to my sense, my heart was burning and my eyes flared. With protuberant eyes I stood up from the bench, running my hand through my hair in anger and scoffing loudly. “Why the fuck would you do that to me? Why make me go against my will to love you?” I scowled.

Jeno jerked back at the sudden raise of my voice. He seemed like he didn’t have any words to fight back. He had his head hung low after taking one glance at me, and I knew he didn’t want to meet my eyes out of embarrassment and shame. “So were any of your feelings for me true?” I let out a sound to fireback but I quickly held it back the moment I registered the question. I balled my fist beside me, my eyes beginning to form its well of tears that my pride simply wouldn’t let them fall. “They were, Jeno. Were. But now I can’t tell.” My shuddering voice came out and my words were barely understandable. I turned around sharply to walk away, and instantly the first tear made its way down my cheek. I can’t believe I grew this weak for Jeno.

But after a second thought, I turned back. “You give me the potion to break this one by tomorrow night. That will be the last time I see you.” I wiped off my tear, straightened my back and walked off. Although it seemed like I went away with no regrets nor care for Jeno, my heart was feeling too heavy for my body to bear and the tears were streaming down with no care for the world. I like Jeno, and I still do. But to find out he used a potion on me for his own benefits, I wondered if I was being used. I wondered if I was simply something to fill his void of loneliness. If I was only loving towards him for the sake of it. I had to distance myself from Jeno to sort all this out.

— I’m better than this.

Jeno watched with despair as her figure grew smaller and more out of his reach and disappeared. He knew it would come to this. He knew this exact situation was inevitable the moment he saw the change in her. The falter of her behaviour, the flaws of the love potion. He was thinking about why he never bothered to tell her about the love potion, why he didn’t want to explain it to her in the first place. It wouldn’t be breaking his heart this badly if he told her sooner, right? But then again, with the type of person she was, he knew it would have an impact on him. He wanted to give her an explanation before she walked off, but Jeno’s body and mouth didn’t let him do it for some reason, like it was best for her to leave while he stood rooted to the ground out of his will. “I’ll ask Jisung for the potion breaker...” Jeno whispered to himself. And for the first time in a long time, he broke down in tears, it rushed down his face and he wasn’t sure if his body and heart could even hold up any longer that evening.

That night he asked Jisung to make him the potion breaker. They stayed up till three while Jeno watched him make it. The silence in the dorm kitchen was killing the soul out of Jisung and he hated how Jeno had been piercing his eyes into his back and scrutinising every move he made. Jisung turned around with an angered huff, his forehead creased as lines formed in between his eyebrows. “Can you quit staring at me like that?” Jeno honestly didn’t mean to be this infuriated towards Jisung, especially since Jisung was his favourite youngster amongst the group. He guessed he needed someone to blame for his own actions, to ignore his true feelings And in truth, Jisung was the one that made the love potion which ended up not working effectively.

Jeno let out a sad sigh and covered his eyes with his palm for a moment before meeting his eyes back to Jisung. “I’m sorry. I just really hate myself right now.” Jeno said, his voice soft and almost weak in a sense. Jisung frowned at the hearing of Jeno’s voice. He knew he was hurting bad, and now he felt bad for lashing out at Jeno. “You’re better than what you did, Jeno.” Jisung whispered softly, turning his attention back to the making of his potion while having his back faced Jeno yet again. Jeno shifted his lips to one side, lifting his body up from the counter behind and walking up to stand beside Jisung with folded arms. “In all honestly...” Jisung began, he took in a deep breath, his chest rising up before exhaling sharply and shaking his head. “I didn’t want to make the love potion because I didn’t remember exactly how to make it in the first place.” Jisung gulped, loud enough for Jeno hear and infer that Jisung was afraid to tell him this, like Jeno would lash out. Instead, Jeno kept silent so Jisung continued.

“But I felt bad for you. I saw the way you looked at her. I didn’t want you to lose the chance. I’m sorry, Jeno.” Jisung was finally mixing the potion with a glass rod, slowly with a solemn expression. Jeno lets out a breath and snaked his arms around Jisung’s shoulder pulling him closer and patting his chest with his free hand. “It’s fine. You did it out of kindness. I’m the one at fault here for even thinking of using it in the first place.” Jeno said, and his heart was sincere. Jisung hummed and gave him the breaking potion. “Once she drinks it, fix things with her, alright? Give this damn story a happy ending.” Jeno chuckled. “You say as if it’s a novel.” Jisung shurgged. “Kinda is.”

I couldn’t sleep a wink that night. All I thought about was Jeno. When in actuality I planned to forget about him while going home. Funny how I wasn’t able to do something I needed to do. But clearly it’s because I was still in love with Jeno. My mind flashbacked to the times I spent with him, times I wasn’t under the spell of a love potion. My smile, my laughter at his lame but amusing humour. They were real, with or without the potion. Would I look pathetic to went back to him even though he used a love potion on me? Would I look low? Those questions began my spiral down the deep dark hole of my thoughts, and they were travelling to the saddest and worst outcomes I could ever formulate. I really do hate how our minds work sometimes, how we overthink to the farthest end just from one thought.

Out of pure frustration and inability to sleep, I threw on my hoodie and sweatpants, ready to head for the convenience store to buy cans of beer and drink my thoughts and feelings away. Just when I put my hoodie on the way to the door and placed my hand on the cold doorhandle, the bell rang and I flinced back from the sudden loud ringing. I tiredly let out a sigh and looked through the peephole. My mood didn’t know how to change. Was I relieved to see Jeno standing there nervously with the potion in hand, or angered that I now would not be able to not think of Jeno till I get my can of beer? I pulled down my hoodie more, obscuring my eyes in hopes that I wouldn’t look Jeno in the eye and have myself falling much deeper than I wanted to. I pushed the door handle open and puled the door, Jeno’s figure coming into view. I kept my head down and scratched my tired eyes. “I’m here to give you the potion.” Jeno muttered, hlding it out just slightly away from his body. “I see that.” I snatched it away from him. Just when I wanted to close the dor and end my interaction with him there, his voice made my heart break.

“Is this really the last time you’ll talk to me?” Jeno’s voice cracked, and I wasn’t sure how the reply. I was feeling a lot of things at once and I hated how I still have yet to untangle the huge ball of it that blocked air into my lungs. “If you know me well enough, I’m a petty person and I’ll give them the silent treatment till I get better.” I slid the potion into the pocket of my hoodie and shoved my hands in there as well. I exhaled with a shrug. “In this case, I don’t know when I’ll feel better. Or I don’t know, trust you again.” I was valid to say that, I thought to myself. I had the right to say it. So why was I feeling something negative spurring in my chest as I let out those words?

“I-” Jeno’s sentence fell sort. He tilted his head up to face the ceiling as if tryign to formulate and answer to say. But in the end he could only drop his head back down and a defeated sigh left his lips. “I’ll wait for you.” Jeno said, as if unable to come up with any better answer in the tense cold air of the night. “Wait? There’s no point in waiting if you don’t earn back my trust.” I replied, and amused tone glinting my words. Jeno gave a sidelong glance before meeting my eyes. God were they soft, pitiful, gentle and loving. “I’ll wait till you get better and sort it out with you. Please just...” Jeno sighed. “I don’t want to let you go, okay?” As much as I hated going back on my own words ad thoughts of defence against Jeno, I bit my lower lip nodded my head. “We’ll see.”

A long time had passed since I last saw Jeno, or actually talked to him. I did see him very briefly on campus, but I made sure to not serve him even one glance and continued walking though I felt his eyes on me the whole way till I turn a corner. With the bunch of workload I was suddenly given that month, and with the help of coffee, I was able to get myself back on track and focus on my work, slowly going back to who I was-- a hustler with no care for the world other than to get work done. Clearly, Jeno still lingered at the back of my mind, seconds before I want to shut my eyes to sleep. He never left, and I don’t think he ever will. I had nights staying up, just drawing mindless circles while my mind trailed to thinking about Jeno and how he was doing, how he was coping with my loss. Whether he was hurting. I didn’t rule out the possibility that he might not feel anything at all and was putting on a sad front for me. Who knows? I still have yet to trust his feelings for me were real when he used a damn love potion.

Weeks turned into months and in no time the cold season came, with snow falling in small bits and bringing the freeze into play. One other thing I realised when December came was that my birthday was coming in just few days. One faithful morning I woke up to the doorbell ringing annoyingly loud and repetitively for a couple of cycles while I try to fully wake myself up and lazily walking up to the door. I swung it open and Jaehyun was there to greet me a happy good morning with a small cake in his hand. I laughed and and rubbed my eyes to clear my vision. “Red velvet cheesecake!” I screamed, snatching the cake away from him and running back into my dorm. I placed it on the coffee table and grabbed two spoons from the kichen while I heard Jaehyun walking in and closing the door behind him. Jaehyun sat down on the couch and I sat next to him, handing hi the spoon.

“Not much. I’m not working so I hope this will do. Can I count this as a Christmas present as well?” Jaehyun said in a joking tone, but it seemed like it was agenuine question. I grinned widely and ruffled his hair. “I don’t need presents at this age for a good Christmas. I just need an outing with you and I’m good.” My smiled widely till my eyes formed thin lines and instantly dig into the cheesecake. I didn’t care to notice thid at first, but the flavours that instantly hit my tongue made me moan in satisfaction. “You got this from my favourite cake shop.” I said, dreamily humming. Jaehyun chuckled and nodded his head, scooping a bite for himself. “We always went there and pretended to be a couple to get free food samples please.” I laughed loudly, the memories of when we first began being friends came to mind. “Ah good times indeed.”

Jaehyun hummed as if he wanted to say something, so I turned my head to look at him from the cake. “You need to get ready by the way. I’m taking you somewhere for another birthday surprise.” I widened my eyes in anticipation, a smirk forming on my lips while a sly smile formned on his. “Alright. Do i need to dress up to look my best?” Jaehyun shrugged with pursed lips after glancing to the side fo a moment. “Well, yeah. He’s like to see you in your prettiest state.” I raised an eyebrow in suspicion. “He? Who’s he?” Jaehyun raised in shoulders. “I don’t know.” He waved his hand carelessly, as if dismissing my words. “Now go get ready.” I hissed in annoyance but nodded my head excitedly and went to get ready. I wore the cutest outfit I had, proud of how good I looked when I stood in front of my full length mirror. I went out to the living room, seeing Jaehyun already gathering his things to go. He gave me no time as he was already walking on the door and I had to fastened my pace to meet him at his car outside the building.

Not surprisingly enough, he had me wearing a blindfold in the car. I guess he wanted the location to be a surprise as well. Fear overwhelmed me when the car stopped and I heard Jaehyun leaving the car to open the door on my side for me. I held tight onto his arm and he gently placed his arm around my shoulders to try his best to lead me to the location without having my lose my step or tripping. Together, I took small wary steps and I was completely clueless as to where we were. It’s as if sight has blocked all my other sense from working and my sense of smell wasn’t working either as all I could smell was the freezing cold and nothing else.

Jaehyun places both his hands firmly on my shoulder and abruptly stopping me. I didn’t know where I was and all I could do was stay frozen at where I stood. Jaehyun slowly lets go of me and I heard his footsteps walking away. I turned around frantically, not even caring if I was facing the right direction. “Do I take the damn blindfold off?!” I shouted loudly, hopefully Jaehyun was able to hear. But there was no reply, instead, I almost fall when I tripped behind my foot at the sudden noise of a very familiar chuckle very close to me. I instantly felt the presence of the person right in front of me. He didn’t need to touch me for me to already feel his warmth. He was quick to wrap an arm around my waist expertly. I wasn’t able to move an inch I was that stunned.

— We're better than this.

I felt the fingers of his free hand touch the blindfold, trailing them to the back of my head to pull the tie and release my eyes from the darkness. It took awhile for my eyes to adjust, but once they did, the first thing I saw were Jeno’s eyes. “You’re still as clumsy as I remembered.” Jeno said in a lowered voice. I couldn’t believe he was standing here. For a moment I forgot that I’d be seeing him again. That we’d eventually forget what we had and move on with our lives. I was enveloped into his warmth with my body pressed up against mine. He slid the blindfold into his pocket and placed his palm on my cheek. They were greeted with warmth instantly as well and I forgot the feeling of the cold biting at my skin.

“And you’re still as pretty as the moment I laid my eyes on you when you walked into that café.” Jeno continued. My mouth was frozen and my tongue could not move. Words that I wanted to say remained in my throat as I have yet to fully process his presence right here. “You’re here, on my birthday?” Jeno smiled softly, ever so soft and small. With a downshift of his head he answered, “You told me you’d wish to spend your birthday with me since you only ever had Jaehyun.” I remembered my words very clearly. I didn’t know he’d even take that into account since I myself didn’t exactly found that as an important information at the time.

“If you haven’t noticed, we’re at our place too.” I adverted my attention to my surroundings. Indeed it was. It was my most favourite place that I visited with Jeno. I’ve never seen the park during winter, and it made my heart burst with a longing feeling as I saw just how beautiful the park had become when it welcomed the snow. “Well um I just wanted to say.” Jeno began, and I turned to look at him. I searched his gaze. They never changed. They looked the same the last time I got up close to him. Nothing about him had changed, I now realised. He was still Jeno.

“My birthday present for you is that I’m about to say the three magic words that I have never said in too long of a time because I never believed love was real. And although I still did that last time, it made me realise that these words are worth for someone who decided to stay with me even though they suspected and knew I used it on them.” Jeno brought his face closer, his warm breath breathing against my skin, particularly my lips. He glanced down at it before staring right into my eyes, as if I was the only person in his vision and everything else around us disappeared. I was the only important thing at that moment, and he was as well. His lips brushed him and he whispered, “I love you.” And we shared a kiss.

It was overwhelming, but in the greatest way possible. His lips were soft and slick even in the freezing cold. I wanted the moment to last longer but he pulled away and quickly said, “Was it okay for me to kiss you?” Jeno had a worrying tone. He was still as cautious as ever. I nodded my head. “I missed you. But you have a lot to make up for.” I replied, pulling him closer by gripping his shirt with both my hands. Jeno gave his puppy smile and nodded. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” And I knew for a fact that he’d never break any promises.

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