#but adhd had other plans there was just not enough time for me to be able to concentrate like that LOL

[lukola4evs]

So here’s my theory (subject to change)

Mom and Dad always had a soft spot for each other or “kind eyes” but could never act on it since 2019

L always referring Ross and Rachel etc.

They’ve always been friends, he ask N for advice on J etc. and even in season 1 or 2 promo (zooms she did) she was tearing up seeing her friend asks her questions.

Season 3 they dive in and get super emotionally connected.

Season 3 they fall in love as polin but also fall in love to the point where the blurred lines definitely have J/L break up.

Timeline during filming

Block 3 filming, episode 5/6 emotional mess so to speak if you catch my drift. J/L breakup nov/dec

Block 4 filming episode 7/8, flirty on set but no definite name to it.

Episode 8 riding scene (all lukola) and production could tell so that’s why we get montage cut.

But they are so bf/gf coded here

Liz (ic) gives them steps to walk away and make sure it’s real and they are distant but they do check in and they’re still in lurve with Photo Booth pic.

So N makes decision for them to walk away because Liz but also since she’s a jaded guarded Capricorn she needs to make sure it’s real for her and not just feelings from pen since it’s “such a profound experience”

L does hbs and parties his feelings away,

N and L post thirst traps for each other on ig last year. I’ll post pics later but she did one from New York and he did shirtless pics from R ig. (You don’t have to follow publicly to keep tabs)

They come back for reshoots dec ‘23 and they back at it like they meant to be but N still doesn’t let anything happen because polin 🙄

On March 2nd, 2024 N likes that zendaya posts saying about being an actor and falling in love with your costar.

Then press tour heats up. Back and forth messages hidden in promo (Ive rewatched 50 videos and the things you catch 2nd time around is crazy)

Now press tour - it was fun until Brazil and L only told N it was completely casual with A and not to worry about it.

They allowed themselves to fully soak up in each others energy because they are doing press as them. Not the characters. So they now know it’s not just an on set thing. Fucking Finally.

N ditched her side piece expecting L to do the same and he tells her he will, they love up some way or talk about feelings all Brazil, Toronto, Ireland, and part of london.

L is nervous af knowing a’s going to London premier and didn’t tell N outright. So in all london interviews he’s reaching out constantly to n (not only because he wants to now but because he’s worried whatever he and a have planned with his team is gonna be like a 💣 to N)

N ever the skeptic can since his bs (or maybe his lack of vulnerability when they were with her family) and eases back emotionally when she remembers too

London promo always throws me off part of the way. (Deliberately calling him bud - downplay what they have if he’s not gonna be serious or talking about showers to incite jealousy?)

But she can’t help when we see the 😍 either.

Pap pics drop she’s pissed next day. Post satc tt to be a bit vindictive

Lets it stay up for 24 hours.

L or someone reaches out and she makes the lukey newts fan club pr post.

Then for the first 6-7 days after it’s like they have coordinated posting. Always liking in 15 minutes or whatever.

Then in addition to this she lets the Polaroid be seen at ts to let us know it’s all good between them to the ga and shippers.

Fast forward to Wimbledon we see enough of the Polaroid to let us all on x know it’s a different one. And if we know it’s different from computer screens then so does L. Remember by now we know his notifs are on.

He’s got adhd and best believe when his love of his life is icing him out he’s gonna hyper fixate on everything he knows. Including a phone case he’s stared at for ages and constantly liking her stuff first thing when he wakes up.

Now n is icing him out, giving herself some time to do her and work.

Didn’t @ him on latest amazing thank you all posts which is usually her m.o. she tagged the pic but not in the captions is what I mean.

When they reunite after he deals with a he’s gonna have to make amends because Istg I know they are end game but I feel like he told her it was gonna be one way when it went sideways on her outta nowhere (she left after party super early even for having work next day)

Like he’s such a ppl pleaser the minute he got back with his friends he or someone decided that life isn’t his regular life and went back to friend group ways.

Posting more tomorrow. Didn’t realize this was so long.

LOVE x

[theemporium]

Dear CeCe

I have a request it’s something along the lines of

"You brought me breakfast?" "Well you said you always forget to eat before you go to work, so I thought I'd make sure you ate something."

Where the reader (much like myself because of my adhd) forgets to eat breakfast so the driver (preferably Carlos because that man can cook and I believe it’s one of his favorite things to do when not racing) brings them breakfast so they can eat.

(Ps can it be an plus sized!reader)

Thank you ❤️💙

thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

.

When you had made the comment with the Spaniard present, you didn’t think it would amount to anything.

It had been during a rainy stint between free practice sessions. The rain was still going heavy and the track was too wet to even attempt a few laps, so most of the teams had been huddled in the garages as they waited for the weather to ease. 

You had been on Carlos’ side of the garage, along with some other Ferrari workers that were on the social media team. Originally, you were planning to use the extra time to get some shots of both drivers for the Instagram page, only to find yourself seated with both drivers and some others from the engineering team as you discussed random topics of conversation. 

The topic of the drivers’ insane meal and dietary requirements came up, along with superstitions and favourite meals on race day when you had made the passive comment.

“I don’t think I could be a driver. I forget to eat breakfast half the time, let alone remember which foods I can and can’t eat. It would be a mess!”

The comment had stuck with Carlos, and not in a good way. He didn’t like it. He didn’t like the idea that you were skipping out on meals. He had noticed a handful of times you’d forget to eat whilst you were at the paddock because you were too immersed in your work. But the fact it went beyond that? That you were forgetting meals outside of work?

He didn’t like it one bit.

You had been in the Ferrari motorhome the first time it happened. You had been sitting at one of the tables, your laptop sat in front of you and your eyes focused on the screen as you worked on editing some photos that were supposed to be going up that afternoon.

You didn’t even notice the Spanish driver leaving the catering kitchens, let alone making his way towards you until the chair he pulled up beside you was scraping against the floor, the screeches hard to ignore. 

You smiled when you noticed him, opening your mouth to greet him, only to freeze when he placed a plate in front of you.

You blinked. “What is this?” 

“Breakfast,” he said simply with a smile as he took the seat next to you, placing his own plate in front of him. 

“You got me breakfast?” you questioned, unsure why the action made your stomach flutter. Maybe it was the hunger you didn’t even realise you felt, or maybe it was the handsome man beside you.

“I made you breakfast,” he corrected before pausing. “Do you not like it? I can make you something else—”

“No!” you said suddenly, flushing a little at how loud and abrupt you were before clearing your throat. “No, I…thank you, Carlos.” 

“No problem, amor.” 

But what you assumed was a one time thing started to happen every day you were at the paddock. On race weekends, Carlos would always have a plate ready for you when you arrived, from Thursday straight through to Sunday. And on the weeks where there was no race, you found yourself exchanging numbers with the Spanish driver, only to find yourself receiving constant reminders from the boy.

smooth operator: remember to eat something today xx

smooth operator: did you drink enough water today, amor? xx 

smooth operator: remember to eat dinner before midnight please 

It sent a flutter of butterflies down to your stomach every time he texted. It made your heart thrum whenever he called. And you knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that you were falling for the Spanish driver. Despite knowing his actions were probably just a show of friendship, it didn’t change the way you felt for him.

And you were happy to keep your feelings reserved to yourself until Charles had made a comment one race weekend.

“Carlos, your girlfriend is here!” The other Ferrari driver called out through the garage in a sing-song voice.

Your cheeks flushed. “Oh no, I—we are just friends.” 

Charles looked sceptical. “Friends, huh?”

You frowned a little at his tone of voice. “Yes?” 

Charles laughed, shaking his head. “I knew Carlos’ whole ‘food is the way to a woman’s heart’ was a load of bullshit!”

“Ay, no it’s not!” Carlos scoffed as he made his way over, smacking his teammate on the back of his head before he turned to you, a smile on his face. “Ah, mi amor.” 

“Hey,” you murmured with a shy smile before you raised the bag in your hand, the rustle catching both boys’ attention. “I, uh, thought it was time for me to repay the favour. It’s not as good as your cooking but—”

“It’s perfect,” he insisted, not even caring what was inside the bag. 

“What a nice friendly gesture,” Charles piped up with a grin plastered across his face.

Your face heated up and Carlos frowned a little.

“You think we are just friends?” Carlos asked, his head turning to look at you.

You blinked. “We aren’t?”

“Is my flirting really that bad?” 

Your lips parted slightly. “You were flirting?”

“Oh, this is brilliant,” Charles snorted.

“Mi amor, I don’t just make meals for any girl,” Carlos said with a sheepish expression on his face. 

“Oh,” you murmured. 

Carlos raised his brows. “Oh?”

“I didn’t think you felt the same about me,” you admitted with a shy smile.

“Well, you’d be wrong,” he teased, something darker and more tempting shining in his eyes. “Think I can convince you to agree to dinner then?” 

“Will you be cooking for me, Mr Sainz?” you asked.

“It’s just one of many things I’ll be doing for you, amor,” Carlos said, his darkened gaze meeting yours.

“Then I’d be a fool to say no.” 

“This is horrible to witness, by the way,” Charles piped up once again. “I’m glad you two admitted your feelings but really, get a room, please.”

.

[highlynerdy]

"Aithusa has seen her father's mate in his memories and smelled him on her father's skin when he comes to visit, but this is the first time she gets to meet him for herself."

Nepenthe and Lavender by @0hheytherebigbadwolf

My latest fanARTifact is an entirely handlettered, handbound, and illustrated book of this beautifully fluffy fic (and it has actually been in various states of progress since March 1, 2021.) More below the cut!

So as I said above, I actually started planning this fic over two years ago. Which, yeah, I don't really want to talk about because adhd is a hell of a thing. I love love love this fic (and this entire series) and I was inspired by The Black Hours and other gorgeous manuscripts with metallic on black paper.

I ordered some black paper from Canson for the text block, used Arabic gold finetec paint mixed with water and gum arabic as my ink (I used three pans of the gold paint...), and a Nikko G nib with a straight pen holder for the calligraphy. I really wanted to use one of my broad tip nibs, but I just couldn't my Uncial letters small enough with it. I used Uncial since that was technically the alphabet/font they used in the Arthurian time period.

The paper was cut down and folded into signatures of three and then I drew out light pencil lines for the text and for the margins. Every single letter was done sooooo slooowwllly because if I messed up on one page there was no way to erase it, which meant I would have to do basically four pages worth of lettering again since they were all connected.

And I did mess up.

More than once.

I think the most heartbreaking mistake was at the very end when I was trying to erase my pencil lines and I just ripped a page completely in half. The tears were real, folks.

Once I finished lettering - which took hours and hours and hours over many weeks - it was time to assemble the text block and sew it. I used gold silk thread I had leftover from Arthur's scarf (which is also used as the backdrop for the photo shoot) to sew the block together and I love how it gives just another little peek of gold to the book.

I painted the end papers in a vaguely floral pattern with the same gold and also some silver finetec paint, glued them all together and put them in my book press and then promptly didn't work on it again from October 2022 to July 2023. Sigh.

But once I committed to getting it done, I asked @swanfloatieknight to help be my accountabilibuddy and make sure I finished it this week. I tested out so many different cover designs, from fabric and thread, to paper, to finally settling on this all over design done by my cricut. Historically accurate?? Nah. I'm about as historically accurate as BBC Merlin.

I tried my hand at gold foiling and that was a disaster so I just used a gold silk ribbon to give the color a little bit more color. Once it was bound, I painted in a triskelion and Aithusa on a double page spread I left intentionally blank.

And it was finally done!

All in all, I'm pleased with how it turned out. Was it an exercise in patience? Yes. Did I learn a lot? Also yes. Mostly that handlettering an entire fic is madness and also this is far too small to case bind, but I'm a stubborn ass and it was happening regardless.

All total, I probably worked on this for about 50+ hours. It was most definitely a labor of love and I'm so happy that it's finally done.

Thank you for inspiring me to take on such a project by writing such wonderful fics, @0hheytherebigbadwolf! And thank you for everyone who reads these long fanARTifact posts. 💛

[prentissluvr]

sweetttt it is officially late and i will turn it in tomorrow (which is technically today but you know what i mean)!

okay it is fr grind time i have one hour to complete this 100 point assignment

[alanaartdream]

Ok my adhd brain doesn’t want to sleep until I draw my Fairy Timmy (with the Nicktoons unite gang) having to deal with grown up Dale hitting on him because

@jaytalking Fairy Timmy au inspired @bunnieswithknives to draw Dale’s one sided love with their fairy Timmy design and I couldn’t stop laughing and giggling seeing a Adult Jimmy Neutron being oooh so mad at dale for trying to get with Timmy in my mind

As you can see I had to sketch it out

Now peri and Jimmy are planning Dale’s demise as we speak while Danny and SpongeBob are wondering if they should help Timmy to get away from this Dale Creep

I kinda want to draw Jimmy with his hair down but figured people might not recognise Jimmy without his classic hairstyle ^^;

Also why Danny drawn as a beefcake here? (Or my attempt at drawing a adult beefcake Danny) well Bustch up on his YouTube channel has given up some drawings/ stories information on what adult Danny Sam and Trucker would be and apparently they’re a incredible ghost hunting team in their future; Sam And Danny get Married & Tucker ends up mayor/ president of their town/ city aaaannnddd because of all the ghost fighting Danny been doing for YEARS he becomes very fit and ripped (( can someone tell me why But h likes to make his male protagonist grow up to be big beefcakes? Because it seems to be a trend with him))

Also I heard someone say that butch once said he wanted to Make Danny Fenton/ phantom and Timmy Turner Cousins but didn’t go through with that idea because that would’ve been pretty good idea AND would explain why A) Timmy and Danny kinda look alike a bit and B) Timmy’s crazy lazy and very dumb birth parents where kinda obsessed with ghost hunting in their past before they had Timmy (but they were SO OO bad at it I mean they way of fighting ghosts was to blow up the house the ghosts were hunting and they blew up everyone’s house and got chased to the other side of town and had to change their names.. Danny & Danny’s parents would be horrified learning there was ghost hunters this bad out there)

Also I was gonna go with Danny saying

*do you see this shit SpongeBob* but then thought no way would Danny swear around his emotional support sponge 🧽

Also in my fairy Timmy can’t stand Dale either

And being as Wanda & Cosmo knows Timmy did want to grow his hair out but his birth father never LET him and would always cut it short if he was to be adopted by them and raised with Peri/poof then I’d know Timmy would grow his hair out and keep it in a ponytail as a fairy adult so it’s why my fairy Timmy has long hair

Danny being as he’s fighting ghosts all the time and being as Butch has said Sam & Danny get married and have 2 kids who inherit Ghost powers but a little different from their Dad he most likely doesn’t want his hair too long and it might just be a little long but not long enough to tie up being as he most likely needs to look professional being the city’s ghost protector/ fighter and likely doesn’t want his hair to bother him while he fights ghosts

Just my own experience being as I work for a hospital and had my hair short before to try to keep it from bothering me during a hot summer working week but thanks to being busy and some lockdowns it’s back to being long now but I understand keeping a hold city and raising kids means yo have no time dealing with long hair so mostly try to keep it shortish

Anyway thank you for enjoying my silly au ideas and drawings it’s been fun to draw them down

[ampblamp]

AU: Here's How Billford Can Still Win

(part 1: make that triangle miserable)

tl;dr: i want bill to have his ability to live in denial about what he did shattered by several important figures from his past BEFORE he can enact weirdmageddon. this way the yaoi can be messy and toxic (at first) but NOT doomed. it's self indulgent for sure but i'm doin my best to keep it IC as i can 🫡

this first post is just me figuring out how i think things would have to go down on bill's end for billford to have any chance of working out. take my hand. come away with me to my autism world

i'm still figuring out all the details of what would have to change to like. weaken bill's mental defenses enough because he HAS been able to shove his guilt down for so long. i do think everything with ford would be one of the key factors cause he had never connected so much with any of his prior human partners and obviously things souring fucked him up enough to have a turbo breakdown. (i know it's also because of the amount of times the plan has failed but i think he's also feeling rejected by so many humans not liking him lolll)

i think his breakdown after getting wasted at o'sadley's would happen like in canon, save for its repercussions. once bill starts thinking about his mom and everyone else from euclydia around when he's about to be arrested, maybe it would open the door for thoughts of them to keep slipping through his defenses. and suddenly thinking about weirdmageddon and hearing himself and other people talking about it could have a chance of triggering him.

i know personally that trauma can jump in and completely drag you back in time regardless of any logic, and i think him having that kind of episode sooner might be the key to getting him to face that he doesn't want to keep repeating what he did to euclydia because it's never going to be enough to convince the small, small voice in his head saying 'stop'.

because that's just the thing. bill has forced himself down a path of destruction to Prove to himself that its actually for the best to tear down "miserable reality" and replace it with his own vision. his drive and impatience to get weirdmageddon going is BECAUSE he wants to permanently cement that narrative in his mind with the ultimate "proof". because if the narrative fails, not only will he not be able to mentally cope (without help) he'll completely fail the henchmaniacs, who he promised a new home, and look vulnerable and weak, which he's TRAINED them to view as what should be destroyed.

i think the o'sadley breakdown and my proposed worsened repercussions of it would destabilize him, but it wouldn't be enough to stop him. what would push bill over the edge in this hypothetical would be several powerful entities from bill's past like the axolotl, the oracle, and time baby working together to somehow target his mental weak point. cause remember, time baby canonically KNOWS bill's weak point.

also like. To Me. the axolotl and the oracle are people bill was close to and has seen himself in at one point* but they matured and he didn't, and that's why he's SO hostile towards them.

*the oracle being an ex-henchmaniac is canon but i say this about the axolotl because of xolotl. look him up, it'll freak your bean.

alsooooo... ford not being as immature and vengeful as bill hoped he was is probably why bill broke down so hard - because it reminded him of the axolotl and the oracle. all the people who he actually connected with on a deeper level have left because of the same reason. but bill was always too terrified to confront everything he's done, which would be necessary to follow them.

so ends part 1... next, i think i'm gonna try to figure out how ford and bill would meet again (haha). ford is sucked into the portal right after (maybe even during?) the whole o'sadley's deal iirc sooo... fun point in the timeline to play with!

also hopin to draw stuff for this AU in the future :]c calling upon the power of my newly aquired ADHD meds lmao

[ladyyatexel]

Hey, what's up, hello, I'm Xel, I truly have Donald Duck levels of bad luck and yet I do not have the rage button that makes things work out if I throw a tantrum, which feels like yet another failure of media, what is the deal with this.

The deal is:

Temp job had to let me go instead of make me permanent because the economy scared the 5 people over 65 in that department out of feeling safe enough to retire

None of my applications are getting interviews and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Donald Duck tantrum did not assist me in this realm.

Holy shit seasonal depression I can't get out of bed like.... A Lot.

I have a convention to go to in February where I am selling art in the art show and where I will see many of my friends the only time per year.

I'm scared of everything haha wow 😬

I'm am an artist who just feels too upset and worried to art

I'm having trouble getting everything together and maybe will feel better with some level of stability? I need to do a lot of paperwork. It is proving hard. I have the Tumblr popular suspicions about my level of neurodivergance. (Fun story: I told members of my my family that I have thought in the last two years especially that I might have ADHD or Autism or something, and my cousin said, "Oh, honey *just the last two years?*" Obliterated.)

My abusive dad recently joined a cult and my grandmother thinks he'll try to contact me after 15 years and I'm fucking scared of him and that is Affecting Me in A Way boy howdy.

I do not have the money to pay rent even a little bit! I'm trying to get January and February taken care of maybe? So I can try to exist for this period of time and maybe not have a breakdown or get evicted or something?

Some real not awesome medical junk happening also because why not.

SO, I'm doing Tumblr's favorite thing and being a starving queer artist with brain worms who needs help. If you are interested in helping me out and making a donation to the "Why don't my Donald Duck tantrums solve my problems" fund, I would be Really Grateful.

I am on Ko-Fi, which is really just a funnel to PayPal, over here.

$2500 would keep me on solid ground. I'll try to keep a tally here in a read more along with a expenses tally if that would help you feel better about me! I know I've had to ask frequently in the last few months, so I understand thinking I'm full of it.

I have a commission to finish currently and a few buttons and things that need to be mailed. You could also ask for button and commission, but I am doing prep work for my part of the art show in mid February, so I'm not available until after then for that!

My grandfather used to do a Donald Duck impression that was really good and it convinced me that either he WAS Donald Duck or that old people all knew how to do this because they all talked like this in the era Donald Duck was from.

Here is Ko-Fi again. If there's something you'd like to see me post or unearth in atonement, let me know. If you'd like other places to aim your dead green American presidents, I can give you that too.

Thanks for reading and/or reblogging! Tell me how Donald Duck's freakouts impacted you. Take care of yourselves!

Rent is $710/month, so 1420 is January and February.

65 for the internet, 130

65 for car insurance, 130

65 for electric unless I can get the assistance plan up again, same 130

250 to survive at the con maybe?

Also just like food until i can get the foodstamps stuff sorted??

Gas???

Anyway, that's an idea of what and why, if that is helpful.

Jan 8:

We are at $460!

Thanks!

[saturnniidae]

oddly specific httyd headcanons part 2?

ABSOLUTELY.

Warning; Most of these are about Hiccup and Astrid bc theyre my blorbos ultimate so sorry in advance if you were hoping for more abt the other riders.

I think Hiccup snorts when he laughs. Like really laughs, not just sarcastic chuckles (annual event). Also his voice is prone to cracking when he giggles.

Astrid is very strict about schedules/routines and finds them comforting. Sudden changes in plans make her upset but considering the nature of battle, it's something she's trained herself to better deal with (doesn't mean she's not gonna go scream into her pillow and throw things later)

She often has to remind Hiccup to eat because he gets so focused on tasks he forgets (average adhd grindset), and she's trying so hard to get Hiccup into having a better routine that focuses on him rather than just his scheduled dragon feeding and grooming regimen. It's a work in progress.

Astrid has a policy on never apologizing for things unless she caused them or can do something to help. To her it makes no sense to say 'im sorry' for something you've had no hand in, and pity is worth nothing. (Autistic ass mindset). She also is so awkward when it comes to comforting people, her face looks like she's constipated when she's concerned and often the best you'll get is an awkward pat on the back or hug (insane to me that in canon she's the 'motivational words gf' when that is So not accurate)

Hiccup gets the worst acne ever when he's on his period, he just has the vibes of someone who would yknow

Hiccup kind of hates communal meals in the great hall. The overlapping noises of so many people talking at once, cutlery scraping on plates, chewing, and benches scraping against the ground is actual torture. He much prefers the calmer atmosphere of dinners on Dragon's Edge

Hiccup would be the type of person to eat shit like sardines and olives on pizza but otherwise be a picky eater I think. Canonically Berks food tastes like shit, so the only thing he likes eating there is the fish. (The food they make on the Edge is so significantly better oh my god)

Hiccup not only snores absurdly loud (he gets it from stoick), but also talks in his sleep. Like fully talks. sometimes Astrid will humor him and respond. It scared the absolute shit out of her the first time they slept in the same room though

Fishlegs also talks and even walks in his sleep sometimes. He's been found wandering Dragon's Edge at night before

The first time Hiccup called Astrid 'M'lady' her face did a weird twitching thing and he was so worried he pissed her off but she was actually trying to figure out how to respond without showing how emotional it made her (him calling her that hits so much harder when you hc them as t4t, also I feel like Astrid's famliy just aren't the kind of people who often use terms of endearment like that)

Hiccup and Astrids first few kisses were actually like, really bad. A mess of their teeth clacking against each other and also horribly awkward since, yknow, they're kids. The first kiss Hiccup initiated he was so nervous he missed Astrid's mouth and had to try again 😭

Funnily enough, despite how eager he was to belive in mythical creatures as a child, Hiccups never been a particularly religious/faithful person and that just became more apparent after the events of When Lightning Strikes (he was So fed up)

Hiccup has that weird combo of being horribly touch starved (being isolated and unintentionally emotionally neglected for most of ur childhood does that) and also not being a huge fan of physical affection from others if he's not the one initating it. When people he's not already super comfortable with touch him or like hug him he freezes up like a deer in headlights

Hiccup learnt to speak French and Latin through frequent interactions with traders that came to Berk when he was younger, he liked hearing their stories and imaging going places far, far away from Berk (pre-httyd Era when he was still a social pariah) and despite his job at the smithy, Hiccup still had significantly more free time than his peers due to lack of training so he had to find other ways to entertain himself.

[leidensygdom]

Ok, I'm gonna start a post idea I had been pondering. If you're either mentally or physically disabled and you have opinions about representation, this is the thread for you!

So, I've been seeing more people trying to tackle the topic of autism in their stories, but I've felt some of it tries to woobify a bit what is to live with autism, or just focus on the more socially acceptable quirks of it. And as someone with autism/ADHD (was suspected of it for most of my life, got it finally diagnosed by my therapist (who specializes in autism and ADHD) last year), sometimes I'd like for people to acknowledge the more unsavoury parts of it, the weird quirks, etc.

So, this post is going to be about that- If you wanna help people understand how your disability/neurodivergency affects your life, feel free to add to it! Just mention what do you have (no need for a full list, just what you consider relevant to the post) and some experiences, quirks, anecdotes or such that you think that are not often seen in stories or media, and that you consider an important part of it. They don't need to be huge things! I encourage people to share just whatever they feel comfortable. My list is gonna be a mix of stuff, but yours can be very different. Let me start!

Clothes and how they feel was surprisingly one of the most disruptive parts of my autism. As a kid, if I was forced to wear something that caused me some bad texture/sensitivity issues, it would significantly affect my behaviour and performance. It took me many years to be allowed to use mostly sportswear. (And it turns out being a "girl" (not anymore) wearing only sportswear tends to cause a whole lot of bullying)

This happens even nowadays. I've found out that non-heeled boots are more comfortable to me than sport shoes, because feeling something against the back of my foot makes me feel overwhelmed. I tend to wear yoga pants under actual pants, because they keep the actual pants' seams from causing sensory issues. There's almost a sort of ritual on how do I need to combine clothes to be able to function "normally", mostly consisting on reducing how much they annoy me.

On that topic, hygiene is actually a huge thing too. As a kid, I wasn't allowed to shower daily. Days I didn't shower, no matter how much I tried to keep my hygiene in other days, were "bad days" to me. I would literally plan hanging out with friends or eating out around the days I was allowed to shower. I could physically feel the difference between the day I showered and the day I didn't (even if I washed my face, armpits, used the bidet, etc).

This is true even nowadays. I can thankfully now shower daily, which isn't recommended by a lot of experts (specially because it can damage your hair and skin), but it's more worth to me than having days where I feel like I shouldn't be seen in public.

Being overwhelmed sucks! Meltdowns are mostly associated with kids, mostly because adults either learn to mask them, or do everything they can to AVOID having that meltdown. I've mostly figured out routines and such. There's this one place we go eat out every other Tuesday- And in the hours we go in, there's a sort of silent corner that is always free. This week's schedule was a mess, so we went yesterday to that same place, and the silent corner was filled with a very loud group. I got extremely overwhelmed. But enough masking drilled to me means I just sat there unable to talk for maybe 30 minutes.

Autistic adults still do have autism and experience often the full spread of traits, they've just found ways to mask, or avoid being in situations where they do need to do that. I've adapted my life and routine to that. But sometimes I land on situations out of my comfort zone that will make me feel just like when I was a kid. I want to freelance online because I'm fully aware I can't perform properly in a public facing job.

Group projects sucked so much. I know they suck for most people, but most times it was easier for me to do the entirety of the project by myself and add the others' names to it than dealing with chasing people for their parts. My college had a 6-months-long massive group project in the last year, with a 7 people group, which obviously I couldn't do alone. The whole experience was so harmful in so many ways I've had several full therapy sessions talking about it :'')

One of the reasons it's because mental flexibility is HARD with autism. If i set a schedule, I expect that schedule to be followed. If people agree to do a part, I expect that part to be delivered (unless there's a proper reason) on due time. People hate this a lot usually! It will tear group projects apart!

Stimming can be harmless, or it can be very annoying to some. I tend to shake legs and play with something in my hands. I could easy this off drawing in classes- My high school found out that I was paying more attention when I was allowed to draw in classes, and my academic performance was pretty much perfect, so they gave me permission to do that.

However, I had a teacher in middle school that did forbid me from drawing. I stimmed during a class with pens- She got so mad she sent me home with a note to my parents they had to sign. Fun!

Not exactly an anecdote, but I am ace. I hate the discourse about "making an autistic person be aro or ace is infantilizing autism". Aro/ace people can have autism. That's just how it is. I've been infantilized a lot for being ace- Which only got worse because I am autistic, and people perceived some of my special interests as child-ish. The combo didn't make things easy.

On that topic, people will often be very patronizing of your opinions or takes for being autistic. I've had people debate my sexuality (or lack of thereof), my gender identity and presentation, my hobbies, my preferences for everything, down to "what do you want to eat tonight?". This isn't too different to shitty takes about how "autistic people are more prone to being affected by the trans activistsTM", because people assume autistic people can't choose on their own. Trust me: We can.

Anyhow, I'd love if this post could be a good compilation of these sort of anecdotes! I think it could help people who wanna learn more about what is it to live with specific disabilities (and how to better portray them in media)

[kamiko1234]

*EVEN MORE YAPPING AHEAD*

Okay as of now I have finished chapter 3 of The Last Olympian and, OH MAN STUFF'S GOING DOWN.

So first off, I still find it EMBARRASSING how little Camp Halfblood does in terms of war. It's good that they started running missions but they STILL aren't a real army!

They lack a solid command structure,. They lack enough real allies (I guess the gods count as allies technically but like- it's not like they BEHAVE like allies. I mean Kronos' allies are in active communication with him to coordinate and strategize, so far it just seems tho gods are doing their own separate stuff in terms of fighting)

So far their whole strategy feels like the good old soviet approach of "throw men at the enemy and see what runs out first. Our soldiers or our enemies ammo".

EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT CAMP HALFBLOOD DOES NOT HAVE THE NUMBERS FOR THIS STRATEGY AND THE ENEMY WON'T EVER RUN OUT OF AMMO.

Like how have none of these people properly militarized yet!? Why are they running single man missions instead of acting as a closed force!? Why are they FIGHTING OVER LOOT INSTEAD OF PLANNING?

I will give the "why are kids planning a war" thing a pass because, well, kids book and kids wanna see themselves. BUT WHY DIDN'T CHIRON STEP IN WHEN THEY FAUGHT!?

Clarisse just dipped! And with her the entier Ares cabin! And idk if you noticed but those Ares kids LOVE fighting- so for them to just decide to sit this one out? Yeah whatever that reason is it must be GOOD. (Also very based for Clarisse. I mande it more than clear that I do not like CHB, the more people are done with it the better)

Am I the only one realizing how BAD that is!? For your main fighting force to be so divided that entier GROUPS just decide to sit it out because the rest fucked up and no one addressed the problem!?

And how come that these cabins STILL ACT MORE LOYAL INWARDS THAN TO THE ARMY!? THAT'S BAD TOO YK.

I swear if you don't wanna do the whole "united front" thing ATLEAST INTRODUCE PROPER MILITARY STRUCTURE.

You guys I am genuinly worried about CHB right now. As I see it they were already massivley underequippe to deal with Luke. Much less with KRONOS.

I mean sure they have Percy, but like- he's ONE GUY. He ain't gonna be enough to believably deal with and defeat the entier army!

Honestly at this point the only way I can see Kronos being defeated is him falling down a flight of stairs and accidentaly impaling himself on his own scythe 💀

Also on anothernote, I finally found out the entierty of that prophecy and that Percy's apperantly going to die..... and well, I feel nothing.

Like genuinly nothing.

I do not care wether he lives or dies.

I mean, I'd still PREFER it if Percy wouldn't cosplay a martyr and end up with Uncle Hades but like- even if he does it wouldn't be the worst for me.

To be quite honest I find Percy a bit boring compared to the other characters at this point. He feels to have very little to no actual conflict when next to the other characters.

Like, what sort of conflicts does Percy have?

-Shitty Dad/Parental Issues? He has a locing mom, Poseidon is one of the better Dads in terms of Gods. Gabe was a dick no doubt, but he's been taken care off for ages now and doesn't rly affect Percy much anyway. And we don#t even have the "I got no dad 😢" plotline with Percy either 'cause he as Paul now to fill that role!

-Struggling with his ADHD and dyslexia? Both had little no no impact on the story like, at all. Often times it feels like they aren't even there to beginn with.

-Luke betraying him? He immideatly switched to full on hate and enemy mentality with Luke. He doesn't struggle with the guy suddenly being evil or fighting him. Neither dies he still believe in the good in Luke like Annabeth.

-His fatal flaw? I already made a seperate post on why I don#t really like that one.

Those are the main ones comming to mind BESIDES the prophecy introduced this book. But ngl? I already lost intrest in Percy in favor of Luke. I don't REALLY care anymore.

I guess we also have the plotline with Annabeth where it's very obviously heading for a romance. But I also couldn't care less about Percabeth as a ship. At most they mildly annoy me due to the fandom shoving it down my throat whever I dabble my toes in it.

Like, yeah Percy started out cool but now? I'd rather know more about Luke, Thalia and Annabeth. I wanna know more about Clarisse. I want to know more of the innerworkings of the camp.

Percy just became a sort of, meh factor to me.

I am HOPING that it get's better though since it would be SUCH a waste if I really stayed apathetic to the main character. There are hopes with Percy in his fight with Kronos noting that it's hard for him to kill Luke/Kronos in Luke's body.

As always I ask to mark any spoilers in your rebolgs or replies should you make them, thank you very much ^^

[espinosaurusrexex]

Just an idea :) for Sherlock, what if Enola is always trying to get him to date cuz either he's lonely or always focused on work. But he always turns down the idea. Then one day she lures him to her favorite bookshop (or cafe, etc) and casually introduces him to her favorite employee. And the pickup line just comes out of no where, even he is surprised lolz. Feel free to not use this at all if you get better ideas😂

Thank you so much for this idea! For writing purposes, this will take place in modern times (*writing purposes meaning me being too lazy to write period specific)

Cheesy Pick-up Line (Bingo Game)

!BINGO ASKS CLOSED!

College!Henry!SherlockHolmes x Female!Reader

word count: 1.3k

warnings: a little bickering, awkward Sherlock, fluffy and cute

Enola giggled excitedly as she pushed past the glass double doors of her favorite library. Her brother was following behind closely, a disinterested look on his face as they entered the small building. For Enola, it was the perfect place to be, but Sherlock just asked himself what he was doing here instead of studying for his criminal justice exam next week. 

What he had not concluded yet, was that Enola Holmes had an agenda far different from the story she had told her brother about just an hour ago. He didn’t know his sister had spent weeks finding a way to finally get him to leave his stuffy, foot-smelling boy room. She had mashed her brain about it as she roamed the shelves of her favorite place and when she checked out the other day, she was embarrassed to have thought of it so late. It was blatantly obvious. Her brother needed a girlfriend. Someone that would encourage him to live outside of his schoolwork every once in a while. And you were the perfect candidate for the job. Smiley and charming, intelligent and pretty, and on top of that, someone Enola liked very much. She had established a first-name basis with you over the hours she spent in the little library you worked at. Today, she would try to accomplish the same for Sherlock. 

Sherlock stood between the rows of shelves, waiting for his sister to finish collecting the mountain of books he was sure she wasn’t even allowed to check out at once. She had recruited him to ‘help her carry them’ as if she weren’t very capable of it herself. And besides, Enola was the one always underlining her independence and that women could do just as much as men. Something wasn’t adding up. 

Enola placed another book in his arms. One she had mindlessly pulled from the shelve to keep her story alive. It was a small sacrifice for the gratification she would get would her brother finally fall in love this evening. She was sure of it. No more feigned disinterest in the stories their family told about cousins and other relatives having their first partners. No more annoying dismissal of their mother’s subtle hints towards his isolating himself. No more bad moods because of the uncalled-for comments Mycroft threw at him when he visited with his fiancé. It was about to change today.

“Relativity Theory?” He lifted an eyebrow before Enola could disappear behind another shelf. “Hamlet? What kind of homework is this supposed to be?”

“You wouldn’t understand,” Enola quipped before placing an autobiography in his arms. 

“They’ll think you’re robbing this place.” He readjusted the books because even though he was fairly strong, they slipped in his grasp. “How are you planning on checking those all out?”

“Jokes on you, my check-out limit has been upgraded because I’m a regular.”

“To 17? That’s too many. Too many books in general. Even for your ADHD brain.”

She glared at him. “Well, that’s where you come into play. With your card, we can check out 15. And for the other two, I’ll just have to sweet talk my way through.”

“You’re impossible, Enola.” Sherlock rolled his eyes as he followed his younger sibling to the counter. 

“Shut up, It’s hard carrying enough character for Mycroft and you. You should thank me, really.”

“Unbelievable,” he muttered under his breath and then he placed the books down with a thud.

Enola Smiled as she saw you approach the counter from the back office. Once you were here, the hot phase of her plan would be set in motion. And she couldn’t wait.

“Good evening, Enola. I see you brought someone new with you today?” You asked kindly with a bright smile on your face. Most people that came into the library didn’t talk much, but ever since Enola came around, she made the day a whole lot better. She grew to be a friend to you, which was why you also already knew who the handsome ‘stranger’ next to her was. But you wouldn’t reveal it just yet, that would be creepy.

“This is my Brother, Sherlock.” Enola just smiled as she placed her pile of books on the counter as well. 

“Nice to meet you,” the tall brunette smiled behind his glasses, soft curls falling into his face when he nodded toward you. 

“Nice to meet you, too. I would ask if you found everything you were looking for, but I guess it’s even more than that...” You counted the books, sending Enola a warning look. You had gone through the trouble of sweet-talking Old Mrs. Thomson if Enola could be an exception to the ‘only six books for home’ rule once again. Trying one more would get you on dusting duty for at least three weeks. 

Your eyes locked with Sherlocks. “Do you have a library card?” And then your attention was back to the register, typing away on the little blue display.

Sherlock couldn’t see what you were doing, but he knew he wanted your eyes back on him. He didn’t know why, there was something about you that made him all excited. “Why? Because you want to check me out?” Uh oh.

Your fingers stopped hacking away at the outdated machine and your eyes wandered back to him. A deep blush tinted his cheeks and ears pink as you tried to hold back the laugh pushing at your throat. 

Sherlock wanted the earth to swallow him whole. Why had he just said that? What was wrong with him? 

And while her brother desperately attempted to hide his shocked face, Enola just stood beside him, equally stunned. She hadn’t known it had gotten this bad. His constant isolation must have messed with his social competence somehow. Because whatever she was just witnessing, was beyond secondhand embarrassment. He made her job harder to bring the two of you together, and honestly, right now, Enola did not see a chance for her brother. 

“Yes, yes he has. Here!” Enola ripped the card from her brother's pocket and handed it to you. You, who bit your lips to hide the smile creeping on your features and shook your head. 

Sherlock didn’t say another word after that. Too embarrassed to ever talk again, really, he waited out the time until you were finished scanning all the books and his and Enola’s cards. Relief washed over him when you said your goodbyes. 

“I'm making an exception this time, Enola. Mrs. Thomson must not know about this and you better bring all of these books back without a single mark,” you warned.

But Enola countered weakly, matted by her idiot brother destroying the best plan ever made. “When did I ever not?” Still, she tried a sneaky smile on her lips.

When the doors fell close behind them and the siblings walked along the sidewalk home, Enola shoved her brother harshly. 

“Great job, you idiot. You just ruined your only chance at not becoming a weird and bitter old man.”

But Sherlock didn’t answer. He was well aware of the embarrassment he had just presented himself as in that library and in front of you. With his head hung low, he opened the top book in his arms to retrieve his library card, but when he moved the piece of plastic and revealed the check-out receipt, all of his sister’s bickering moved to the background. 

There, beneath the date and time of his visit, was your number, scribbled in blue ink with a small heart by your name. He smiled to himself as he traced the number with his finger. And just then, Enola glanced over his shoulder to find out why he hadn't told her to shut up yet. 

Who would have thought that you would be hooked after a line like that?

Tags: @circe143 @valkyrie418 @mirikusashes @noideawhyimdoingthislol @nikkitc0703 @lethallyprotected @erynnnn @misshale21 @wattpaduser200 @mi-amoree1111 @xxinvisiblexx @lastwandastan @when-you-cant-think-of-anything @pevensiemadness @mrsgweasley

[morganbritton132]

Idk why this popped into my brain but it occurred to me that Eddie was probably on those celebrity editions of game shows. Celebrity Jeopardy, Celebrity Who Wants to be a Millionaire, etc…

And it just made me laugh so hard. The idea of Eddie Munson with Regis. Of calling Steve as a phone a friend for a basketball question and Steve being like Eddie I don’t know everything about basketball. But the answer is Larry Bird.

Just TikTok finding clips of Eddie yelling “suck it, Dan Cortese!” after obliterating them all at final jeopardy.

This fills me with so much joy! I love it so much.

Eddie does not go on Celebrity Who Wants to be a Millionaire by choice. He pissed off the band’s manager just enough that they signed him up for it without his knowledge, and he’s not doing it. He got the letter in the mail and it’s not happening.

Eddie ‘Six Years of High School’ Munson is not going on national television and making himself look like an idiot when he doesn’t even get to be in on the joke. No way.

“Dick move, man,” Gareth shrugs after Eddie put his foot down. “Even if you fuck the first question, they’re still gonna donate to your charity of choice. And like, maybe this is just the amount of money needed to cure cancer. Or epilepsy.”

“…You fucking suck, Gareth.”

“Yeah, I do!”

Eddie begrudgingly shows up and goes through the whole rigmarole to get mic’ed up, just ready to make a fool out of himself and call it a day. It turns out that he knows a lot more than he thought he did because he breezes through the first round of questions.

He knows enough about history, music, and the arts just from planning his D&D campaigns and reading about things he likes. He’s surprised by how much surface knowledge he’s gained from listening to the kids logic their way through their science and math homework, but sports are a bust.

He gets lucky on a few questions, but ends up using his Phone a Friend to call his partner, Steve. Steve and Eddie spend the first fifteen seconds arguing about how Eddie shouldn’t have wasted his phone a friend on Steve because he doesn’t know anything. And then once he hears the question, he’s like, “Larry Bird” and hangs up.

Eddie doesn’t win a millionaire dollars for his charity, but he wins quite a bit.

Afterwards when he’s still so hyped up about not being dumb, Steve’s just like ???? “Ed, you were never dumb. You just had trouble taking tests and none of your teachers accommodated your very obvious ADHD. You’ve always been brilliant.”

“Now everybody knows it.”

“Yeah,” Steve agreed. “Yeah, they do.”

Eddie signs up for Celebrity Jeopardy himself.

One of the first things that Steve and Wayne bonded over was a love for Jeopardy. Wayne has watched Jeopardy before he left for work for as long as Eddie has known him, and Steve was more than happy to sit with him when it was on. They both continued to watched even after Steve and Eddie moved to Chicago and sometimes they’d call each other if Final Jeopardy was “crazy.”

The band wasn’t touring as much as they used too and they’re all pretty much working on their own projects at this point. Steve’s finishing up his master’s degree while teaching full time and doesn’t really have a lot of time for him. Eddie is in between projects and creatively tapped out, and worst of all, he’s bored.

So when his manager passively mentions Celebrity Jeopardy, Eddie tells him to sign him up for it. When they accept his application, the only people he tells about it are Dustin and Nancy.

He only tells them because he wants their help studying for it because he wants to win this time. So, they study and it sucks. If Eddie ever sees another world famous Nancy Wheeler flashcard again, he’ll tear off his arm. He hates every second of their study sessions.

Eddie makes it through the quarterfinals and then he makes it to the semi-finals (knocking out Dan Cortese). He doesn’t win the tournament because he bets big on a Daily Double and gets it wrong, but he’s fairly close to the lead after Final Jeopardy.

It’s not bad for a guy that failed his senior year three times.

The fun part comes when it airs. He painstakingly sets up their camcorder so Steve won’t notice it before the show starts. The video he gets has a good five minutes of Steve fussing with a blanket up until they say ‘Eddie Munson.’

Steve looks up and then looks at Eddie, and then back at the tv, “Wha- what? Is that – that’s you! You’re on Jeopardy! Eddie, you’re on – oh my god, we’ve got to call Wayne.”

Before Steve can even do that, their phone is ringing and Steve answers it like, “HE DIDN’T TELL ME EITHER!” while Eddie is laughing his ass off.

When Eddie posts a TikTok about it like, ‘LOL remember when I was on Jeopardy?’ it includes this moment. It also includes footage from the semi-finales where Steve is just pacing the living room and repeatedly telling Eddie to just tell him if he won or not. Steve cheers like he’s at a football game when Eddie wins.

It’s just as tense when the video cuts to Steve watching the finale. Steve knows the answer to the daily double that Eddie gets wrong and is like, ‘This is why they should do Jeopardy Couples, we’d win so hard.’ Steve’s not even disappointed that Eddie lost, keeping the same enthusiasm through the show and then is like, “I’m married to a Jeopardy contestant. I’m so telling Janet about this at the staff meeting tomorrow.” 

[sundrop-writes]

Sundrop's Stranger Things Masterlist

Please note - I am just posting this masterlist to get it out of my drafts - I worked on it when I was working on the fic listed below, and then I completely randomly lost interest in it, and this has been sitting in my drafts for months ever since. And I love the formatting and style of this masterlist and I don't want to accidentally lose it by accidentally deleting the draft - and I am gonna need this masterlist at some point. So I'm posting it.

Coming "Soon":

Nasty - Sub!Eddie Munson x Dom!Fem!Reader. Established Relationship. Smut. You hesitate to tell Eddie your true sexual desires, fearing that he'll be turned off. But when he finds out - he is more turned on than ever. (3,000 words.)

Note: The rest of these link off to AO3 (which is the bulk of them unfortunately) - but at some point, I hope to have them edited and posted to Tumblr.

Sugar, We're Goin' Down - Steve Harrington x Fem!Thick!Reader x Eddie Munson. Friends to Lovers. Smut. Eddie hasn't gotten laid in months, so when he walks in on you and Steve (and neither of you seem to notice), he has just enough sexual frustration built up that he can’t bring himself to look away. He discovers quite a few things about Steve, and you. And himself. (12,700 words.)

Eat Me Up Alive - Sub!Eddie Munson x Dom!Fem!Thick!Reader. Friends to Lovers. Smut. Eddie is a very annoying person. And when he goes too far, you push back. Turns out - he likes it. Loves it, actually. (11,200 words.)

I'm Still Standing - Nancy Wheeler x Fem Disabled/Chronically Ill Reader. Friends to Lovers. Angst, Smut, (very slight Fluff). Hurt and Comfort. You start having horrible waking nightmares, but you don't want to worry your best friend Nancy by telling her. She's already occupied trying to chase down a trans-dimensional killer wizard, and you are convinced that the two aren't possibly related. (37,800 words.)

Bless This Mess - ADHD!Eddie Munson x Fem!Thick!Reader. Established Relationship. Smut and Fluff. Eddie accidentally forgets the two of you have a date planned. Rather than getting mad at him, you let him make it up to you. (5,700 words.)

Always Yours - Steve Harrington x Fem!Pregnant!Reader. Exes to Lovers. Fluff and Smut. Steve tells you about his 'six lil nuggets' dream, and you let him know that he's actually a lot closer to it than he thought. (2,500 words.)

Obey Your Master - Eddie Munson x Fem!Autistic!Thick!Reader. Friends to Lovers. Smut (and some Fluff). You are taking care of Eddie while his wounds from the Upside Down are healing. And when you offer to help 'take care' of him in other ways, he's convinced that he survived to live just for this exact moment. (11,200 words.)

Fix You - Eddie Munson x Fem!Mute!Powered!Reader. Friends to Lovers. Fix-It Fic. Hurt and Comfort. Most of your life, all you knew was darkness. Eddie was the one light in all of it. And you refused to lose him. (5,300 words.)

Drowning In You - Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader. Enemies to Lovers. Smut (slight Emotional Angst). Working with Billy at Hawkins Pool forced you to be around him. But forgetting part of your mandatory uniform at home and being harassed by random men because of it forced you to truly confront your feelings for him. (22,100 words.)

You Shook Me All Night Long - Steve Harrington x Fem!Thick!Reader. Strangers to Lovers. Smut and Fluff. Steve never really saw you. Until one day, when you stood out as the hottest babe he had ever seen. And on that day, he just happened to be wearing the dorkiest outfit ever and stuttering over himself to impress you. Somehow, it worked. (45,000 words.)

Daisy Fields (Companion to You Shook Me All Night Long) - Steve Harrington x Fem!Thick!Reader. Established Relationship, Family Fluff. Some Smut, Fluff. You and Steve happily pursue your life together, more than thankful for the silly little ice cream shop that brought the two of you together. (20,600 words.)

(This last one, I don't really like. I wrote it a long time ago, and it doesn't really go with my current style. But perhaps somebody seeing this masterlist can get some reading enjoyment out of it. It's just very unlikely to be re-posted on Tumblr.)

Monstrous - Steve Harrington x Fem!Powered!Reader. Established Relationship. Angst and Fluff. Steve finds out your big secret, and you are surprised when he doesn't hate you for it. (5,200 words.)

[papermonkeyism]

Poking at the dinosaur project thingy, this time with some production technicalities point of view.

Here be musings.

I originally thought of the project as a calendar, then a series of calendars that could be collected into an art book once enough art had been made for it, and at some point I thought of just skipping the calendar part and going straight for art books.

I've been going back and forth between those options multiple times over the years, and it's still kinda open. Like on one hand a simple calendar with just thirteen illustrations (twelve months plus cover) is the easiest and cheapest option, though pretty limited (what to do once the year presented in the calendar ends, and you still got unsold leftover stock?), and the other hand art books are big projects requiring lots of work, even more money, but be a lasting and very satisfying thing to have.

Maybe I should take a middle road and make a zine instead?

Maybe.

Though, this is where the shape of the actual project comes in.

I've always planned the project as having a slice of life style format, with little story and more focus in exploring the setting. Kinda just looking in and enjoying the view while you go. But I've noticed that keeping the "narration" as illustrations kinda keeps the immersion at arm's length too. While that is fine and dandy for a calendar where the space for any narrative would be very limited anyway, if I was going to do more with the setting, I kinda need something deeper. Even if the audience is fine just looking at pretty pictures, with ADHD it would be better to have something deeper to help keep me personally invested enough to actually plan, plot and produce the materials needed.

Should I make an actual story, with plot and stuff? Feels kinda unnecessary for a thing focusing on just illustrations, and I don't know if I really "click" with a text heavy picture book format. I kinda feel it would make comic as the best option, though that has its own downsides. I've always wanted to do full colour paintings of the dinosaurs, yet going comic it would have to simplify a lot and make it grayscale just to keep me sane. And, as someone who has done well over 250 pages of a long form comic, that's still a HUGE commitment I don't think I have the resources - mental, physical nor financial - to pull off.

I also kinda feel having a plot story would sort of detract from the "exploring the world" aspect and put more heavy focus on characters, which. Well, it's not *bad* exactly, just not quite what I want.

(Also I am aware the dinosaur clan I have has a kid character, and I don't want to make her the point of view character for the story. I have no interest doing a childrens' book. I mean, I am perfectly fine if kids do eventually end up liking my stuff, but I don't consider them my target audience. My target audience is me, an adult person in their later 30s, and a handful of nerds I consider friends and/or mutuals.)

Another option I've been toying with is kind of a double edged sword.

Those who got the Almost Real speculative evolution zine volume 5 got a bit of a taste of this, as I kinda tried it out there.

So... I've gone to pretty great lengths as a layperson to work in the setting of the project thingy. It's always bothered me when dinosaurs get just dumped into a story with no regards to when and where they actually lived, making for an anachronistic hodgepodge of what's popular forming into a mismatched fantasy setting, usually with throwing humans into the mix. I don't like that. I'm more interested in seeing the actual animals as they were, when they were and where they were, where the focus is in the dinosaurs themselves. Thus the limit to Two Medicine formation (with some of the surrounding areas included too, though still keeping to the same time period).

I do not want humans in my dinosaur stories. Period.

But what if...

So, imagine a research journal. There's a scientist visiting the clan of Singing People the project focuses on, with the mission of studying them, their life and their world. The book or zine or whatever could be a story of the dinosaur clan introducing themselves and their life to this person. An outsider point of view to excuse learning about them by them teaching this POV person how their world works. There could be some interaction and maybe interviews, and of course illustrations because you need to document your subjects after all.

Like, I'm kinda excited about the idea. It would let me get into the details I want to picture without getting too into the heads of the characters to limit the chances of artistic exploration. You gotta document the surroundings your study subjects live in after all! But you'd still get to know the characters because it's the job of the POV person to learn about them. Win win!

It's just that I don't want to put too much attention on this hypothetical scientist. Like I said before I don't want to mix my settings. The dinosaur project thingy's world IS Laramidia in the Campanian period of late Cretaceous, it's not meant to be a scifi setting, nor do I want to have any focus on any time travel.

Wonder if it would be possible to leave the scientist character vague enough to never actually get explained? They're just nameless outsider from undetermined time and place who's interviewing some dinosaurs. Maybe with some peronal opinions or musings but no anecdotes about their own life or themself. And whenever there's interactions between the scientist and any of the Singing People it just gets handwaved away. (Of course the Singing People are curious about them too, but that's not the point of the study so it just doesn't get documented or something?)

I don't know. Could that work?

[heejayy]

Shuri U. || Focus pt. 2 (smut ver.)

Warning • adult language, MDNI, 18+

Genre • smut

Pairing • Professor Shuri x black fem! Student Reader

A/n: These have the same beginnings but different endings.

Fluff Ver.

You took your professor up on her offer and called her over the weekend. She said she wasn’t busy and that you could come over.

You hung up confused by what she meant again, you thought she was going to meet you at a cafe but she invited you to her home.

You stood on the porch of the most lavish home you’ve ever seen, but you expected nothing less for a queen. You knocked a few times before the door swiftly flung open.

“You made it” she smiled opening the door wider “come in.”

You entered adjusting your bag as you looked around. It was such an amazing home you couldn’t even fathom living here.

“You’re home is beyond beautiful.”

“Thank you” she smiled “why don’t we go to my study” she placed a hand on your lower back guiding to her home office. Even the smallest, most innocent touches from her makes your body tingle.

“Alright let’s get started” she pulled out her laptop while you pulled out your notes.

“Ok so show me what we need to go over” you nodded flipping through your notes to the page covered in highlighted questions.

“Oh well-“ you giggled nervouslya bit taking it upon her self to look through your notes. You felt a bit ashamed and sunk into your seat, she must’ve noticed because she placed comforting hand on your knee giving it a light squeeze.

“Hey don’t worry this is what I’m here for” you mind went fuzzy thinking about her hand so close to your-

“Are you alright?” She asked leaning a bit closer.

“Y-yeah I’m fine” you have her a tight lip smile hoping it was believable.

You two spent the next few hours studying going over class material. You kept getting distracted in between mostly due to your ADHD but also because she kept getting closer and closer. You two were so close at this point your thighs we’re touching.

“So why’d you decide to become a professor?” You quizzed twirling your pencil between your fingers.

“Hmm well I wanted to share my knowledge with the world I figured since everything settled down with my country I could venture out and do my own thing” you nodded understanding. She’s such an inspirational person you thought.

“So since we’re done for today I wanted to know what you had planned for later on?” You eyebrows rise at such a random question like that coming from her.

“Oh well I nothing really do some grocery shopping and then head back home” she nodded tapping her fingers on her wooden table it was a bit of awkward silence for a bit.

“Professor Udaku?”

“Yes?”

“I still don’t feel confident enough in taking this exam. What if I fail? Should I just quit school or-“

“Y/n?” You perked up at the sound of your name. It was the first time she actually called you by your first name. You liked the way she said your name

“Yes?” You answered. She took her time before answering eyeing you up and down. You felt like you were completely naked in front of her right now which wouldn’t be a bad thing.

“We are both adults right?” She leaned forward from her man spreading positing still keeping eye contact with you. You gulped nodding slowly.

“Good so tell me what would you do to pass?” You breathing became ragged as she slid her chair closer.

“Wh-what do you mean? I-“

“Don’t act dumb cutie you know exactly what I mean” you adjusted yourself in your seat trying to process what was going on. Was she implying that if you sleep with her you’d pass? Or are you reading this whole situation wrong. While thinking over your next move she took your chin in between her thumb and index finger lifting your head up to look at her.

“So what do you say do you wanna pass or not?”

Obviously you chose the right logical option there was no other choice to make. And that’s how you ended up in this position, face down ass up.

Shuri’s had her nails sunk into your hips as she roughly pulled you back against her. Her room was with lewd sounds mixed with moans and skin slapping against each other.

“Oh oohhh shit sh-Shuri” she had your head pressed into her pillow as she abused your cunt with her strap. You felt like a complete slut right, back arched, drool sliding down your cheek and your eyes rolled to the back of your head but you didn’t care it felt good.

“You like that pretty girl, hmm?” She yanked your head up waiting for you to answer, but all what came out was a strained moan. She let out a soft chuckling as she slowed down.

“Sit up baby, come on I want you to ride me” you listened quickly sitting on your back, Shuri barely let you get adjusted for she grabbed pulling you onto her.

You slid down on her into with ease causing your eyes to roll fluttering shut “you’re such a good girl for me aren’t you?” she moaned against your neck and she left kisses along with a few bite marks.

“Shuri p-please” you begged her over and over as you bounced on her.

“Nnghh shit!” You sped up trying to reach your high, your thighs started to burn but you didn’t care.

“God you’re a little slut huh? Fucking me for a good grade?” She asked pulling you closer to her, she brought you into a bear hug and she help you ride her. She rested her head in the crook of your neck feeling herself in the verge of coming too.

“Oh shit I’m cl-close! Fuck!” You couldn’t hold it anymore as you came undone on her. Your moans were drawn out as your body went limp in her arms but she kept thrusting into you helping you ride out your high and soon after she came too.

“Shit that was good” she breathed as you slowly climbed off laying besides her.

“That did feel good” you gave her a small smile pulling the quilt over your naked body. She did the same as she propped her head on her hand taking a moment to stare at you.

She leaned in leaving a peck on your lips “You’re definitely getting that A.”

Shuri Masterlist

©heejayy 2023 — any reposts or translations of my works outside of tumblr are strictly prohibited unless granted permission 🤍

[academic-comeback]

Academic Comeback

This is THE lowest point in my life thus far. Which is why this blog has been created. To hold me accountable, and to let other people in my very same situation know that you can recover. It is always possible. College is difficult. Anyone who's attended knows this. And while many still succeed, I have not been. I finished my first semester on Academic Warning, and have continued that into my spring and summer semesters. I've filed appeals, both to stay and for financial aid, but the situation remains, and I have been suspended. This is my academic comeback. During this what-would've-been fall semester, I am implementing plans for recovery, learning how to study, and rediscovering hobbies that I wouldn't have been able to continue if I had stayed on the path that I was on. Here are my first steps:

The "What Went Right? What Went Wrong?" List. - By figuring out these two articles and their many complexities (there's never just one right or wrong reason, and admitting what I did wrong, as well as what I did right is the first step to recovery.) - Figure our how to right the rightable wrongs and continue to implement the habits and methods that keep me successful. Learn How To Study - Duh. But this is a lot harder than some people think, especially if you grew up with ADHD, a gifted kid who didn't need to study, and got knocked out by the pandemic and haven't been able to be truly academically successful since then. Take More Time Off of Work (ft. finding a new job) - I am the most workaholic of all college student workaholics. It's been my biggest downfall, because I also refused to manage why time reasonably. If I couldn't finish an assignment because of the fact that I was working all weekend, it was almost an oh well. It also stressed me out because I always felt like I wasn't making enough money, or didn't have enough time to study. - My current work availability is 50/50. 50% available, 50% unavailable. This is temporary, while I have no actual classes to tend to. I'll still have time to make money, and can pick up shifts if I want to or have less going on that week, and can still attempt to give up shifts if needed. This will hopefully help me to better manage my time. All of this will take time to master. I have 18 weeks of what would've been this fall semester planned to figure this out. But that also means that I have to stick to it. Which is part of what this blog is for. Weekly posts explaining my journey and how I'm fixing my academics so that hopefully others can too will hopefully keep me just as accountable as somebody breathing down my neck (with less anxiety).