#but about dealing with familiar emotions and creating an entirely new feeling with them in the poetry

[vulpinesaint]

i gotta be honest with you guys. this essay on poetic criticism by t.s. eliot kinda bangs (<— normal sentences for normal people to say)

[black-lake]

astro observations 8

though most of us think we've learned everything about our own chart, yea we’ve seen it countless times, yet we're always learning new things because we go through experiences that activate and awaken certain parts we either forgot about or overlooked. I shared many of my personal experiences in this post of things I realized later or thought were insignificant.

——

🎻 People with capricorn placements tend to be remembered fondly after their death. The type of artists that listening to their music takes you to a different era and makes you feel nostalgic to a time period you never existed in. They also can easily bring old trends, styles or music genres back to life. Signs that are also remembered after death are aquarius and pisces. I always notice it with those last three signs or degrees of these signs.

🎻 It is said that the moon matures at 24°, so I got a degree observation with that. If you have it at 24° or close to it, 23° or 22°, you may feel like you've experienced the full spectrum of emotions and matured so much in your early 20s. In your childhood and teenage years, you may remember dealing with emotions immaturely, possibly acting out with the negative traits of the moon sign. At 24, you feel more aware and in control of your emotions, like you ended a cycle. Your emotional intelligence becomes evident. The emotional world of these natives is almost entirely internal. They do best when they can deal with their emotions in solitude. They're seen as detached no matter how open they get. They keep people guessing what they're feeling and they tend to have a wise aura.

🎻 With moon at degrees from 25° to 29°, natives may feel like they need to share their emotions with either someone close or the world in general, or even through a hobby they have. They may want to be vocal and expressive about how they feel. They tend to be relatable and make others feel heard through just expressing themselves and being open. They may also experience some heartbreaks, making them stronger, braver and and more willing to share how they feel. 

🎻 Moon at degrees from 0° to 21° tend to resonate very much with the sign of their moon degree. They might even be mistaken as having their moon in the the sign of that degree. They're seen as energetic and youthful. They often go through trials and errors in testing their emotional depth. They may have been adventurous growing up, experimenting with things and testing where they feel safest and most secure. They may cling into things, and can be codependent on others. They learn how to develop a sense of detachment as they reach their 20s.

^ if you have your moon at 0° to 21°, which I'm least familiar with cuz I don't meet many ppl with these degrees, please do tell me how it resonates with you and your experience with your moon.

🎻 I noticed that most iconic artists have significant uranus or neptune aspects in their chart, conjunction and oppositions with personal planets in particular. I associate these two planets with artistic abilities and talents. Both give visionary minds and expand the imagination. They are outer and generational planets, so whatever art these ppl create is impactful and undeniably timeless. 

🎻 Your first love or just the person you first felt really intimately connected to may have placements or degrees of the sign of your 8th house. I have an 8th house in capricorn and my first love had a cap sun and stellium and an aqua stellium. 

🎻 In my experience the 8th house is more important in relationships than the 7th. To me the 7th is about connections in general. Even though I have sag in the 7th and pluto right there, I obvs anticipated a significant relationship with a sag or something but it never happened lol. I end up having a casual and lighthearted connection with them, the traits they embody compliments my rising and it's an easy going connection that stays in the friend zone. Not with cap men, even if I want to be friends with them, there's tension that either drifts us apart fearing the friendship or it instantly develops to an intense relationship. It's because my 8th house is in capricorn, and my pluto and mars are both at 10°. So check the degrees too.

🎻 For the longest time I resonated with being way more plutonian than saturnian, because I don't have any capricorn placements or significant saturn aspects, but so many obvious plutonian aspects. But once saturn hit the highest point in my chart, conjuncting my mc, I realized how much this planet affected my life all along and I was oblivious. For instance, I have so many capricorn degrees and sun in the 10th. I was overlooking that I have capricorn in the 8th and 9th, which means saturn rules both houses, and it rules the 10th too since it's in aquarius plus at 22°. I also have a stellium in the 11th with saturn right at the cusp there, so it even influences the the house that is most active in my chart. Can't wait for saturn 11th transit 💀

🎻 Speaking of that, if you have sun in the 10th house, you probably try hard not to look or sound arrogant because people tend to think you're confident even if you're not. Whenever you speak people listen and others may hate on you for thinking you're better than them and you don't even know them lol. It's so hard to make friends with this but I don't hate it, because it gives me the strategic ways to be persuasive and get my way with authority figures. May apply to leo in the 10th or people with cap/leo mix (I bet y'all were called arrogant at least once lol).

🎻 As someone that is very influenced by pluto (square sun, trine venus, semi-sextile mars, conjunct chiron, opposite ascendant, quintile mc), I painfully understand how plutonians feel like their struggles are never rewarded, at least not the reward they anticipated. Yknow with saturn you go through hardship you learn this and that and you get tangible fucking results that you can fucking see. With pluto what is it again? your inner strength and eventual realization of "ta-daaa you went through it, you thought you couldn’t.. that's the reward". Plutonians out there waiting to be truly happy, truly loved, truly effing rich 💀 and get a damn break. 

🎻 Another aspect I overlooked was mars opposite saturn, just because I have it at 10°, but I experienced every single thing related to this aspect. I feel like I learned so much about it the hard way and I wanted to do a post sharing what I learned with people that got mars-saturn harsh aspects. If you have it, your flow of energy may be a little off, not knowing when to STOP doing a task and when to start again. Being stubborn with your work wanting it to be done instantly and perfectly like your body is some type of machine taking orders, but saturn will put obstacles in your way until you learn patience and contentment. Can be harder to deal with if mars is in a fixed or cardinal sign.

🎻 With mars-saturn harsh aspects, you may feel the urge to act on your martian qualities but if you disregard what saturn is there for, you'll find yourself back at square one. It's about listening to your body and not ignoring your physical and mental exhaustions. Taking short breaks and organizing your time instead of giving up all together in rage. You're not running out of time if you do so, in fact pushing through too hard is what's a waste of time. It's not a wise use of energy because your work won't be as efficient and your perfectionist ass will redo it. If there's an absence of a healthy work-life balance, these natives can internalize a tremendous amount of anger that can be detrimental to their health. 

🎻 I always laugh at capricorns saying that capricorn is a cursed sign because it's so true but also absolutely untrue at the same time. 💀 These natives need to understand certain life patterns, qualities and duties that once figured out unlocks so much success and tangible results that are long lasting. Cap placements especially sun and stelliums give me the sense that they inherited some of their ancestors qualities, if you believe in that, but they go through some hardships with the patterns that come with these qualities. They have a choice to cut the patterns that don't serve them, whether in behaviors or ways of thinking and utilise what they already have with persistence and strategy. 

🎻 Well it's march already, who's excited for a little pluto break? It's finally leaving capricorn and entering aquarius on the 23rd and I can't wait tbh. It's like a more intense uranus in aquarius transit, yes we will see a new sense of freedom, some drastic changes, and some said authentic people popping up, new sources of income, new values that aren't necessarily money related, systems that aren't as controlling, maybe new communities or apps on the internet that are annoyingly trendy. But with pluto we will see the shadow side of all of that, so buckle up and get ready lol. It's a gradual change tho I don't expect much to happen this year, but we can always be shocked. Also side thought, if your kids are gonna have pluto in aquarius they may be even brattier and harder to control than pluto sag gen. 

[lighthouseshepard]

felt inspired by this insanely gorgeous piece of art that i cant get out of my head by @mikonez and my hand slipped (posting it here with their permission! ❤️)

"John?" Arthur murmurs, cracking one eye slowly open. "Is that you?"

Among the haze of his vision, a blend of shifting shadows and points of flickering light like radio static made tangible, he barely makes out the figure standing at the edge of the bed. If he had half a mind more than what he currently possessed, the sight might have set his nerves on edge. As it stood, fighting against the dredges of sleep which sought to keep him under, the familiar silhouette was nothing but a cause for another kind of concern.

"John?" he asks a second time. With a mumbled groan he picks his head up off the pillow, straining to see. "Are you alright?"

The figure shifts. John steps up to the side of the bed, walking through the wide beam of moonlight piercing soft and silver through the windowpane. In its gentle illumination the long, silken strands of black hair falling across his shoulders and down his back seemed to hold a faint glow.

"Hi, Arthur," he says quietly, uncharacteristically subdued. "Did I wake you?"

Even after a week of hearing that voice aloud he couldn't get used to it. The distinct and velvety rumble of John's words was stronger outside of his own head. Kinder somehow, too. Though they no longer carried the undercurrent of an echo, something of the god remained when he spoke.

"Hmm? No, no, you didn't." Arthur holds back a yawn. "I think I was dreaming."

"Oh?" 

John drifts closer. The pajama pants and shirt they'd bought for him fit loosely on his new frame, creating the image of a man slouching uncertainly. Arthur couldn't tell if he truly was hunched or not, all six feet and more of him trying to appear as small as possible.

"What were you dreaming about?"

"Honestly? I don't remember. A field of flowers, maybe. Something golden." Lifting his head further, he squints. "John, are you okay?"

Expressions on his face were surprisingly easy to read. Before they separated John theorized that he'd need to learn how to show emotion, that it wouldn't come naturally after getting his own body. His worry eventually fizzled into frustration when the opposite became true - every feeling, every fleeting thought, any inkling of desire was visible on his face from day one. He couldn't hide anything no matter how hard he tried. A lack of poker face, Arthur told him, but he failed to see how a card game came into play.

"I'm fine." He shrugs. "Couldn't sleep."

"Again?" At this Arthur props himself up on one elbow, both eyes focusing fully. "This is the third night you’ve woken up. You're not too cold, are you?"

"I don't... think so?" John replies, frowning. "I don't feel cold, anyway. If anything I'm itchy."

A flash of amusement shines in Arthur's tired smile. "I imagine clothes are going to take some getting used to, yes."

"That’s an understatement," John grumbles. He picks absently at the hem of his shirt. "I don't see why these are necessary."

"Because it's freezing outside and in, and you'll likely catch a cold without them. Plus-"

He waves him off. "I know. Societal conventions. Whatever. You're not wearing a shirt, I might add," he points out stubbornly.

"That's because I'm never cold."

"Do you even have a blanket?"

Arthur gazes up at him pointedly. "John, what's on your mind?"

Rubbing one arm with his hand, he glances down at his bare feet. Ten new fingers, ten toes. Entirely too many to deal with on top of everything else. "Like I said. I couldn't sleep."

"Right," Arthur says empathetically. His smile begins to dwindle, lips pulling downward. "I can't imagine it's an easy task, John. You are learning how to for the first time, essentially."

"Yeah, well," he huffs. "Instead of getting easier it's slipping further away from me."

"Are you still having those dreams?"

"I wouldn't call them dreams, Arthur." More along the lines of nightmares.”

"Right," Arthur repeats, mumbling. "No, of course not."

He rubs the sleep from his eyes, studying what he could of John in the moonlight. Although his sight had yet to return fully, the slow progress was enough of a lifeline to keep him at ease, for now. Neither could have predicted how the ritual would turn out, and for them to both emerge alive, first and foremost, was an odd little cosmic blessing in itself.

After a week John was still adjusting. Arthur didn't blame him in the slightest, but the empathy he felt for his situation wasn't always well received. John, so far at least, tended to misconstrue it as pity regardless of how many assurances he was given. 

As Arthur gazes up at him, he notes two things: among the frustration worrying a crease into his brow, another more poignant emotion lingered underneath, so far removed from what shape he knew longing to take that it swung all the way back around into desperation; and John, arms now crossed along his torso, was shivering.

"John, you're - come here," Arthur says without a second thought. "Take my blanket, take something. Where's yours?"

"In the other room." Hesitantly he sits on the edge of the bed. A body still so weak from all it had endured made for difficult navigation. Muscles and limbs he was figuring out how to control never seemed to want to bend easily to his will.

"Why didn't you bring it with you? You’re clearly freezing."

"I don't know, I wasn't thinking. I just wanted to be near you."

"Oh."

In the silver tinted darkness, he reaches out a hand. At the touch on his arm John startles, glancing down. He doesn’t pull away.

"Listen, John," Arthur says quietly, "why don't you just stay here tonight?"

"What?"

"Stay here with me. There's plenty of room. You're tall, yes, but you aren't going to fall off the end. It might... help, that's all. And-"

He swallows. "Truthfully, I miss you over there."

The offer doesn't sit so much as float between them, a gauzy, gentle thing. John studies Arthur's face, all his various scars, the hint of gold in his gaze now subtler for his absence. How peculiar for those features he knew better than the ones he had now to be reversed, no longer viewed from behind a mirror’s reflection.

"Okay," he says simply.

John leans forward, stretching out over him. Wide eyes follow his movements, lips parted slightly in a question Arthur couldn't quite get out, but he doesn't dare move. Long legs straddle just below his waist, forcing his head back down onto the pillow. Sections of silken hair slip forward off John's shoulders as he comes into view, hovering over Arthur with a kind of familiarity and trust that leaves them both a little breathless. One hand cradles his cheek, and Arthur feels his own slip unthinkingly beneath the fabric of John's shirt to splay steadily along the warmth of his stomach.

"Hey," Arthur whispers, smiling. "When I said stay here, I didn't mean on top of me."

"You didn't tell me not to, though," John hums. A thumb brushes across Arthur's jaw. "You're warm."

"And suffocating.” 

“Mm. Do you want me to move?’

 Breath not his own whispers against his mouth. Their faces were only inches apart. It would be so easy to kiss him now, he thinks, repeat the way they’d all but crashed against each other upon coming out from that ritual weak and coughing but alive, not thinking anything save for the gratitude they couldn't figure out how else to express.

They hadn't talked about it afterwards, too focused on the everything which came after. Arthur wonders if he would taste any differently fresh out of a bad dream, settled somewhat into new limbs. He stares up in abstract wonder, hoping one day soon he would be able to see the person above him with enough clarity to fully appreciate what hard won circumstance gave them both. 

“Arthur?” John asks. His voice drops to a low rumble, expression searching and hopeful. Though he looked just as exhausted as Arthur felt, a quiet fire was beginning to brim behind his eyes.

“What?” he stutters out. “Sorry, John.”

“I asked if you wanted me to move.” That caressing hand drifts upwards, brushing through auburn hair mussed from sleep. “Is this okay? I don't want to go back to the other room.”

“No, John, it's - no, wait, don't go!” He grips John’s hip with a force that startles them both when he begins to pull away. “I meant no, you don't have to go back. You can stay here. It's okay,” he adds, pulse a flutter caught in his throat. “It's alright.” 

John exhales in relief. “Thanks. I, um… I fucking hate it, Arthur,” he admits softly. “Not having you next to me, I mean. It doesn't feel right, sleeping alone. Not that sleeping overall feels right, but…”

“Yeah, John,” Arthur sighs, “it doesn't feel the same to me, either.”

“Arthur?”

“Hmm?”

“Can you kiss me again?” 

“I - what?”

A body starved for connection from the first moment of its tangible conception lays out along him, chest flush to his own scarred torso. Parts of John felt only in passing were suddenly closer than they ever had been previously: knees on either side of his thighs, a waist he grasped with both hands, arms and elbows and a brief glimpse of collarbone from beneath the shirt slipping off one shoulder. All the indelicate human pieces which comprised someone distinctly inhuman pressed against him, imbued with a fervency reminiscent of an ocean trying to return to the droplet from where it first originated - and it aches.

Arthur answers his question.

It’s nothing like the first, yet still an inkling of similar desperation colors the way their lips meet. They don’t collide so much as come together solidly in the middle, both tilting their heads forward to close the few inches that remained. John’s mouth is warm and firm, his hesitation lasting for only a second, and Arthur kisses him with as much conviction as he can muster without losing himself in the process. His arms move from John’s hips to wrap around his back, pulling him closer still. When they part by necessity for breath alone, each gasping quietly into the dim, Arthur struggles to speak.

“Yeah,” he rasps out. “You can stay, John. I don’t - I don’t want you sleeping anywhere else from now on.”

John grins down at him. “Good,” he says, and leans in anew. 

[richincolor]

We have five books on our radar this week, and there's something for just about everyone here. Which ones are you adding to your TBR list?

Against the Darkness (In Every Generation #3) by Kandare Blake Disney Hyperion

This epic finale to the The Next Generation trilogy by New York Times bestselling author Kendare Blake ( Three Dark Crowns ) features the next generation of Scoobies and Slayers who must defeat a powerful new evil. For generations, the Slayer was supposed to be the chosen, the one girl in all the world with the power to stand against the vampires, demons, and forces of darkness. When Willow used the scythe to call up all the potential slayers at once, it changed everything. For years, the slayers have been working and fighting together as a team. Then the Darkness came, killing many slayers and trapping the rest in an alternate dimension. And Frankie Rosenberg, the world’s first Slayer-Witch, found herself fighting evil alone. Sort of. Sure, she has her new Scooby Gang, plus the help of her mom, Willow; Watcher, Spike; and even the brooding-but-hot Hunter of Thrace. But even though they have a master plan (obviously), the gang is more fragmented than ever. So maybe it really is up to Frankie—and Frankie alone—to stand against the darkness. With Jake’s wild werewolf brother back in town, Dark Willow threatening to return, and the Darkness preparing for the final stage of their attack, now is not a great time to wallow in teen angst. After all, she’s the Slayer. It’s time to slay.

And Then There Was Us by Kern Carter Tundra Books

A mother's death forces a teen girl to reevaluate their tumultuous relationship in this powerful coming-of-age novel for teens. For fans of I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter. Coi is just eighteen years old, but has already survived years of physical and verbal abuse from her mother. After being kicked out of her mother's house at age fourteen, Coi has lived with her father, and together they've created a peaceful life. That peace ends suddenly when her mother dies. While Coi struggles to find kindness in her heart for the woman who only hurt her, she starts having lucid dreams, forcing her to relive moments of abuse and emotional trauma that eventually led to Coi's abandonment. Her mother's passing also reopens the door to her mother's side of the family, including her beloved younger half-sister, Kayla, her stepfather and her grandmother. Each of them challenge Coi's long-held views about her mother, especially Kayla, who, Coi realizes, is taking their mother's loss hard. As she reconnects with her family, Coi learns to see parts of her mother she never experienced, and for the first time since she was abandoned, opens her heart to forgiveness.

Canto Contigo by Jonny Garza Villa Wednesday Books

When a Mariachi star transfers schools, he expects to be handed his new group's lead vocalist spot—what he gets instead is a tenacious current lead with a very familiar, very kissable face. In a twenty-four-hour span, Rafael Alvarez led North Amistad High School’s Mariachi Alma de la Frontera to their eleventh consecutive first-place win in the Mariachi Extravaganza de Nacional; and met, made out with, and almost hooked up with one of the cutest guys he’s ever met. Now eight months later, Rafie’s ready for one final win. What he didn’t plan for is his family moving to San Antonio before his senior year, forcing him to leave behind his group while dealing with the loss of the most important person in his life—his beloved abuelo. Another hitch in his plan: The Selena Quintanilla-Perez Academy’s Mariachi Todos Colores already has a lead vocalist, Rey Chavez—the boy Rafie made out with—who now stands between him winning and being the great Mariachi Rafie's abuelo always believed him to be. Despite their newfound rivalry for center stage, Rafie can’t squash his feelings for Rey. Now he must decide between the people he’s known his entire life or the one just starting to get to know the real him. Canto Contigo is a love letter to Mexican culture, family and legacy, the people who shape us, and allowing ourselves to forge our own path. At its heart, this is one of the most glorious rivals-to-lovers romance about finding the one who challenges you in the most extraordinary ways.

Dragonfruit by Makiia Lucier Clarion Books

From acclaimed author Makiia Lucier, a dazzling, romantic fantasy inspired by Pacific Island mythology. In the old tales, it is written that the egg of a seadragon, dragonfruit, holds within it the power to undo a person’s greatest sorrow. An unwanted marriage, a painful illness, and unpaid debt ... gone. But as with all things that promise the moon and the stars and offer hope when hope has gone, the tale comes with a warning. Every wish demands a price. Hanalei of Tamarind is the cherished daughter of an old island family. But when her father steals a seadragon egg meant for an ailing princess, she is forced into a life of exile. In the years that follow, Hanalei finds solace in studying the majestic seadragons that roam the Nominomi Sea. Until, one day, an encounter with a female dragon offers her what she desires most. A chance to return home, and to right a terrible wrong. Samahtitamahenele, Sam, is the last remaining prince of Tamarind. But he can never inherit the throne, for Tamarind is a matriarchal society. With his mother ill and his grandmother nearing the end of her reign. Sam is left with two to marry, or to find a cure for the sickness that has plagued his mother for ten long years. When a childhood companion returns from exile, she brings with her something he has not felt in a very long time - hope. But Hanalei and Sam are not the only ones searching for the dragonfruit. And as they battle enemies both near and far, there is another danger they cannot escape…that of the dragonfruit itself.

The Smoke That Thunders by Erhu Kome Norton Young Readers

From a debut Nigerian author: a spectacular young adult fantasy rooted in West African mythology and brimming with adventure. In this mesmerizing fantasy rooted in Urhobo and West African folklore, sixteen-year-old Naborhi longs for a life away from her small, traditional clan in Kokori. But as her rite of passage approaches and she is betrothed to an arrogant young man, Naborhi feels her dreams slipping away from her. Then Naborhi becomes bonded to a mysterious animal and begins having harrowing visions of a kidnapped boy. She soon meets Atai, the son of an Oracle from a rival queendom, and learns that she is being guided by the gods. She and Atai, along with Naborhi’s eager-for-adventure cousin, Tamunor, set off across the continent to rescue the mysterious boy. But when they find him―and find out his true identity―Naborhi realizes there is more than just her freedom at stake: she must stop a war that has already been set in motion. With lush, unique worldbuilding and a dynamic cast of characters, The Smoke That Thunders is a gripping story of political intrigue, fierce love, and what it means to be free.

[corishadowfang]

@starlightwayfinder mentioned in the tags for this post that I could potentially write out my ideas/headcanons/hopes for Missing-Link instead of writing a whole fic, so that’s what I’m going to do and hope that it exorcizes the writing demons.

These are...not really predictions.  They’re just.  Thoughts.  A lot of thoughts.  Anyway.

I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THE SORT OF LEGACY THE UNION LEADERS LEFT BEHIND.  I’ve kind of talked about it before, but like--yeah, okay, maybe Ephemer’s the one who founded Scala, but he definitely wouldn’t have wanted his friends to be forgotten, right?  So when Brain gets there, all he’s left with are stories of his friends that aren’t even entirely true, and he wants to correct them but they’re also all he has.

Please imagine Brain reading fairytales about his friends and annotating them to talk about what actually happened.

Also.  Brain was definitely included in those stories.  Brain, who is now in the future, who’s a legendary figure but is also still a child in over his head with no backup and a lot of trauma.  Can you imagine just...people treating him as some sort of hero or mythological figure or something and just how alienating that would be?

Scala leadership probably has all sorts of mixed feelings about him!  Because on the one hand, they’re dealing with a real, actual figure from legend who knew the founder of Scala ad Caelum.  On the other hand...they’re also dealing with a kid.  And there’s also a pretty big difference between ‘figure from stories you can use for your own benefit (because they’re not here)’ and ‘individual who has their own ideas on how things should go and whose opinions may not align with yours.’  Basically, Brain is treated a little like a figurehead, which he hates.

Brain meeting one of Ephemer’s descendants for the first time goes well, I’m sure.

Do you think Brain keeps searching for his friends, even if he knows that he’s probably never going to see any of them again?  Do you think that’ll part of be the plot of exploring the ML Disney worlds?

Also.  Scala and Daybreak Town are very different, but I’m sure there are still places where you can see similarities, like the fountain or the gardens or even small things, like some buildings constructed a little like how Daybreak Town used to make them.  It’s like someone hollowed out the corpse of your home and used the bones to create something unfamiliar.

Whoops there’s the writing brain.

Brain...I can’t imagine him taking the time to grieve at first, man.  I think he probably runs himself ragged.  It’s easier not to think about what happened, right?  Give yourself something to do.  You’ve got real things to worry about, like protecting the worlds.  What’s one person, in the grand scheme of things?  Can’t think about it, anyways, if you’re always working.

Bet it makes it hard to actually form new connections when you’re wondering when you’ll loose them, too.

He breaks sometimes, though.  A little.  He’ll pick up things that remind him of his friends or see something familiar or has this brief, hopeful moment where he thinks he sees someone he knew, and for a moment it’s like everything is going to be okay, and then--they’re a stranger.  And he has to shutter his emotions away and plaster on a fake smile because this stranger shouldn’t have to deal with his problems, right?

It’s definitely going to be too much for him eventually.  Nomura, give me Brain yelling at Ephemer’s statue.

Do you think the Player will be the one to see him break?

HEY DO YOU THINK HE GETS MASTER’S DEFENDER BACK.  DO YOU THINK HE CAN’T WIELD IT AT FIRST BECAUSE HE THINKS HE’S NOT WORTH ANYMORE.

Darkling Brain.

But amidst all this...I want to see him heal.  It’s messy and hard and long and some days are bad and sometimes he gets stuck thinking about what could have been, but others he can maybe laugh with new friends or spend time reading with his kids or working on projects he enjoys.  I want to see him come to grips with the fact that maybe this isn’t the life he wanted and still being able to find peace anyways.  I want him to be happy.

(Or maybe he never finds it.  Maybe he’s stuck in the past forever.  Maybe that’s what ends up taking him away--he’s so stuck on fighting Darkness and on what was that he never quite heals.  Or maybe he lands somewhere in between, with some good, some bad, never quite settling but still finding joy in some things.)

PLEASE I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS--

[carica-ficus]

Review: Eyes Guts Throat Bones

Author: Moïra Fowley-Doyle

Date: 27/07/2024

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

_________________________________________________

Phew, am I overdue with my reviews! But better late than never!

On a recent trip with my boyfriend, we visited Ljubljana and went to one of its bookstores where I found this book displayed among horror fiction. I have to admit, I was a little suspicious whether to give it a chance (along with another book I bought the same day) because I've had such bogus luck these last few months with buying books on a whim and finding out they're... unsatisfactory. But this time, I hit the jackpot. Not only did I love "Eyes Guts Throat Bones", but I'm confident to say Moïra Fowley-Doyle is now easily one of my favorite authors.

"Eyes Guts Throat Bones" is a collection of short horror stories dealing with the themes of queerness, love, relationships, family, and life in its entirety. It consists of 15 short stories which feature different structures and ideas, but all connect with a similar voice and tone, creating a coherent thread between them.

The narration style is exquisite, with beautifully macabre writing that is unlike any other. Fowley-Doyle is a true artist when it comes to words. "Eyes Guts Throat Bones" is an immersive, breathtaking experience, and its gorgeous prose is almost as great of an asset as its extraordinary storytelling.

This collection doesn't stray away from showing things as they are, no matter how distressing they might be. There are relationships that shine bright as stars, but burn too hot to persevere. There are characters that seem so lifelike, but could never be real. There are situations and conversations that seem so familiar, but could never be experienced. Fowley-Doyle created something entirely peculiar and raw, but also familiar, riveting and strangely comforting.

The relationships the author explores are far from perfect. Moreover, the stark visual similes, disturbing events and strong characters make them short-lived and borderline unhealthy. But Fowley-Doyle doesn't inflict judgment, nor does she expect it from her readers. Instead, the relationships are only expected to be seen as flawed. As natural. As human. And it is that which makes them beautiful and powerful. The pain, sorrow, rage and loss the character feel - and, consequently, the reader - are just as important, if not more, as happiness, belonging, and love.

Female and queer rage play a key role in this collection. They are a result of long-term, cumulative anger that piles up with each new situation, and realize their final form into violence that is manifested through revenge. It is a frightening act, but it offers a release for the tension that's been building throughout the entirety of the story. The gratifying enjoyment in the imminent destruction and the fulfillment of deserved justice feels both perverted and deviant, and also pleasurable and rewarding. Fowley-Doyle creates a space where oppressed individuals are able to fight for themselves and what they believe in, whether it be noble or not. It is a violent fantasy, but a satisfying one, showing power that often cannot be shown in real life and allowing for consequences where they would usually be none.

The experience of pregnancy is another important theme in the collection. A body becomes a vessel for another life - its function changes, as does its form. Fowley-Doyle approaches this idea from the deeply selfish experience of the person bearing the child. She allows her characters to present their raw, agonizing thoughts and feelings about the transformation they are going through. These emotions are not painted as wrong, just displayed as how they are. As much as the perspective on pregnancy has shifted over the years and that pre- and post-natal depression is talked about, painting pregnancy as a traumatic experience is still a sensitive, almost taboo topic. Fowley-Doyle's stories portray birth as a gain, but pregnancy as a loss. They put the mother as the focal point - a fully formed and developed person that has to let go of what they are in order to make something greater than themselves, which makes the horror of it all so potent.

I will never regret the day I have picked up this collection at the bookstore. Not only has it become one of my all-time favorite short story collections, but Fowley-Doyle has completely charmed me with her writing. So much so, that I will definitely be picking up some of her other works. As for "Eyes guts Throat Bones", I strongly recommend this collection to anyone searching for some incredible and unforgettable queer horror stories.

[rad-rat-with-a-tophat]

prompt: “Sorry, I think my brain stopped working for a second when you said you loved me.”

i know you probably want fanfic but i couldn't find a pairing i could write well enough with that prompt so...

her ya go!

Locke was fucked. And she meant fucked.

They were pacing between a short stretch of trees in their local forest trying to deal with what they had done.

You ask what Locke had done?

You'll see.

Also with her, was Leta.

Locke had knew of Leta since 4th grade. She had only gotten to know her at the beginning of sophomore year. And once they got the know her, her life was changed.

Locke was in all honestly shit at keeping friends. She'd befriend them and think Wow, their so cool! We're gonna have a friendship that I'll tell people in my old age. This is going to be something out of a coming-of-age film! But that was always short lasted.

Because the thing about Locke, was that they always git tired of people. Loved them for a while until the newness of it all faded and they drifted apart. The other person finding people who would actually care about them. Not make up fake activities and plans to get out of hanging out. Not ignore their texts because all of a sudden her friend had become annoying. Not give them short, curt answers until they left on their own. All because Locke got tired of people as if they were nothing but songs you'd play on repeat until you despised them.

Until Leta, Leta was something else entirely.

She didn't feel new or exciting, she was familiar, like Locke had known her since she was born. She was a warm hearth, she wasn't a coming-of-age film but instead the old and used copy of The Mysterious Benedict Society that Locke would read when their emotions started drowning them in ceaseless noise and weight.

And right now Leta was sitting on the old tree stump that the two of them had claimed as their own. This little pocket of the woods wasn't really that far from houses and streets but it felt like it.

There was a tall, thick pine tree that fallen and its uppermost branches lied on the floor, creating a shelter for two teenagers who wanted something that wasn't real life.

It made them feel like they were living among faeries, as if the forest had a mind of its own and let two children believe that it had shown them this spot, as if it was their hide-away from a harsh world and not a random spot in a tiny forest by the huge suburb's they lived in's reservoir. Like a 35 year old man and his wife didn't bring their huge husky named Vince here, like the couple didn't feel like the forest had shown them this spot, like it wasn't their spot and no one else who knew about it. It made the two teens feel as if an old man walked through this without giving a thought to the notion that the forest had chosen him.

But it had become Locke and Leta's spot. It was the one thing Locke had chosen to love. Yes she loved her family but that was by nature. She had chosen to give a piece of her heart to this tiny piece of the woods.

When Locke had dragged Leta to this foliage-covered spot on Friday night she had gasped, and said, "I hate saying stuff like this but I feel like I'm in a stupid YA novel right now!" And she had turned to Locke with her tightly-curled dark hair whipping around with her she smiled that crooked smile of hers and Locke had thought, like many times in the past, that their friendship wouldn't fade even as they both breathed their final breaths. But this time, unlike the others, it had felt real. Not some hopeful wish that Locke had wanted to come true. It was real and it felt like that moment was the only one in the world. Like everything else was a dream and now Locke was awake. Awake like she hadn't been since kindergarten, when life was fun, and not something she wanted to run to made-up worlds in her head to escape.

Leta had been sitting on the stump while Locke was crushing plants under feet for the past ten minutes or so.

"Leta? Is everything alright?" Locke asked, pausing her nervous pacing to crouch down by Leta, their hand was tapping their thigh while waiting for Leta's answer.

"It's just that," Locke continued refusing to look anywhere near Leta, "You, um, you don't really- don't exactly seem all that alright."

Great fucking job! That's exactly what you say to someone who's obviously not alright!

Leta turned to Locke, and Locke finally looked at her. "Sorry, I think my brain stopped working for a second when you said you loved me.” She said, pushing herself off the stump. "I'm a-fucking-okay in fact!" She yelled at Locke, her eyes that usually was warm and twinkling like she was someone's fairy godmother now turned into rabid dog's desperate gaze, her eyes were slightly wet, like she was about to cry.

Shit, shitshitshitshit, Locke thought, This is what you get for telling your closest friend that you love her! You're only fifteen! What do the fuck do you know about love?! You fucking idiot! You're pushing her away, like you have all your other friends!

"Well aren't you going to explain yourself?!" Leta asked, voice breaking on the very last syllable.

Locke stood up from where they were crouching, "I said I loved you. What else is there to explain?" They said, calm and cool and slightly detached like they always spoke. Because what will happen if she actually showed all her emotions not just the ones she specifically selected, like the ones for shows and movies she likes. But never, not ever the ones that mattered. The ones that howled and moaned. That scratched and tore and bit. Never the ones that were bleeding from pulled out teeth and scratched out eyes.

"Oh wow! What a way with words you have! I think it's a normal Friday night! And then you tell me, and I quote, 'I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you' like it's no big deal and don't even explain!?" Leta is standing but her knees are quivering ever so slightly and tears are slowly making their way down her freckled face as she laughs, half hysterical and half emotionless.

Locke started laughing too, tears partially choking the laughs so they were wet and desperate. "Oh you want me to explain?! You want me to explain!" The raw, hot, and painful emotions breaking through the carefully placed veil.

Leta gave Locke her patented stare. The one that meant Of fucking course I did now start talking. The one she used when she ran out of patience for Locke's stupid antics. "Yeah I do. Now tell me," She demanded and Locke had no choice but to oblige.

"I think I'm falling in love with you because this isn't something new. It's not like you came out of nowhere and whisked me into a new way of life. It's like you were always there but only now you're something more than a memory I only wished to have. You've always been there I just never remembered. But now I do and now I think I'm fucking love. Never thought I'd be in love at fifteen but here I fucking I am! So there! There's your goddamn explanation! Are you happy!?" Locke screamed, her voice hoarse from the emotions that had torn and scratched their way out her mouth. A hungry wolf set free, running towards the woods, to freedom. To pain and joy and everything that was real.

Locke collapsed onto the slightly damp forest blood, her shaky laughs being stained by the sobs racking her body.

Leta just stood there, the shock of discovering something new was on her face. That expression was for the rare times when Leta had been outsmarted, it was for the few times she wasn't a step ahead of everyone. "Oh," she stated, staring straight into Locke's watery eyes.

"That was quite the explanation," She continued, sitting in front of Locke and pushing short, black strands of hair behind their face.

Leta's tone was gentle and so were her eyes. She gingerly placed a hand on Locke's cheek, "Would it be a good thing if I told you that I might be falling in love with you?"

Locke gasped softly, softer than she had ever done anything. Locke was all sharp edges and hard truths, softened only by Leta.

Locke searched Leta's, checking if this was a prank even though she knew Leta would never, and sure enough it wasn't.

They smiled a half-smile, "I think it might be, but only might."

Leta choked out a chuckle at this, "You're a fucking idiot you know? It's a good thing that I might be in love with you." She smiled and embraced Locke, letting the taller teen collapse into her stout and strong build. Locke was sniffling and clinging to Leta as if she was the only thing that was real. And to Locke, she was.

[design-studio-ui-ux]

The Importance of Branding in Custom Website Design & Development

Forget selling products or services: the most successful websites and apps sell experiences. Think of Airbnb. Their brand is not just about vacation rentals; it is about fostering a sense of belonging and connection. This brand identity aligns perfectly with their taglines, “Belong Anywhere” and “Live Anywhere” which are plastered all across their app, website, and marketing materials.

This brand-centric focus on the unique experiences offered by Airbnb’s local hosts fuels the firm’s growth. Users are drawn to the platform because of the distinctive feeling of community it fosters. Just like Airbnb, most impactful websites and apps go beyond selling products or services: they sell experiences, feelings, and ideologies.

Companies with strong brands understand this innately. They meticulously craft digital experiences that resonate with their target audience, fostering a sense of connection and guiding them toward purchase. This is the true value of branding in custom website design: it allows you to control the entire customer journey, shaping perceptions and influencing buying decisions.

While the exact ‘ROI’ of a branded website might be difficult to quantify, the benefits are undeniable. Imagine launching a new product. A company with a well-established brand can generate a ton of excitement about the product through its website alone. Now, put an unknown brand with an unknown website in the same situation. They need a considerable amount of marketing resources to build awareness from scratch: an issue that the company with the branded website will not have to deal with. And this is just the tip of the iceberg.

It would be great to understand the critical role branding plays in modern-day custom website design and development. Let us also show you how to leverage branding to create an impactful online experience that resonates with your audience and drives business success.

Why Branding is the Soul of Your Custom Website

A strong brand identity is not just a logo or tagline; it is the foundation of a successful website. Your brand is the unique story that sets you apart from competitors offering similar products or services. It is the guiding force that shapes your target audience's perception and positions your website as their go-to choice. Here’s how: 

Building Brand Associations: Your brand will evoke specific associations when customers encounter it. Whether you aim to be perceived as bold and innovative, down-to-earth and relatable, or a source of inspiration and education, your brand identity should encapsulate the visual, emotional, and psychological essence of your company’s values.

Website Design, The Embodiment of Your Brand: Your website is the visual stage where your brand identity should come to life. Design elements like logos, color schemes, fonts, and typography should all work together to create a consistent and memorable brand image.

A Cohesive and Memorable User Experience: A well-crafted brand identity clearly reflected on your website clarifies your company’s purpose and ethos. It helps shape customer expectations and journeys: from onboarding to nurturing brand loyalty. When every touchpoint, from the visual design to the website's functionality, resonates with your brand identity it creates a cohesive and memorable experience for users.

Create a distinct online presence by strategically giving your website and brand a well-defined identity. This familiar presence will be the key to unlocking growth opportunities in a fiercely competitive digital landscape. In other words, when branding is a core aspect of your web design and development efforts, it allows you to showcase your company’s personality, values, and unique selling propositions, making it easier for users to remember and connect with your business.

When your brand resonates with your audience, it fosters trust and loyalty ultimately leading to conversions on your website. Here are some more reasons why you should prioritize branding in your website’s design:

Brand Consistency: Building Trust Through Familiarity

Design experts champion brand consistency across all channels, including your website. While social media may drive initial traffic, your website needs to reflect the same identity to solidify brand equity. Consistency fosters trust by setting clear expectations for users. Each interaction, from landing page to checkout, reinforces your brand promise through a cohesive experience. Statistics reveal consistent branding across platforms results in 20% more business growth and a 33% revenue boost.   

Unmistakable Identity: Creating a Unified Brand Image

Your website is your company’s public face; it must be instantly recognizable, transparent, and consistent across all marketing channels. If you have an established brand identity, achieving this feat becomes much easier. Familiar logos, colors, voice, tone, and messaging across the website help companies create an unmistakable online identity that fosters customer trust.

Recognition and Credibility: The Keys to Conversions

There’s an unspoken rule in marketing: it takes at least 7 brand interactions for a user to ‘convert.’ Consistent branding across all platforms (especially the website) leads to stronger recall amongst target audiences. Plus, a well-crafted, authentic brand identity builds trust and credibility - two qualities vital for companies that want to secure conversions online.

Standing Out in the Crowd: Distinctive Branding

Web design trends often compel business owners to settle for a homogenized, minimalistic website style to ensure that the site’s UX doesn't suffer in any way. This trend, coupled with a focus on mobile responsiveness, has led to the rise of business websites that all look and feel the same. Here’s where a strong brand identity becomes your secret weapon.

By leveraging unique, brand-centric visual elements like logos, typography, and color palettes, you can craft unique user experiences that set your website apart. Investing in distinctive branding elements that leave lasting impressions can help you out-impress your competitors!

Final Take: Collaboration Between Branding and Custom Website Design ExpertsA well-branded website is not a stroke of luck; it is the result of a coordinated effort. Branding professionals and custom website design experts must work in tandem throughout the development process. That’s why, companies offering custom website design services often have in-house branding teams. Together, they oversee everything: from defining the brand identity to crafting custom, brand-centric design elements that resonate with your audience. By partnering with such an agency, you can design a website that is not just aesthetically pleasing, but strategically branded to build trust and drive business growth.

[toddlerhousel]

Best Playgroup School in Lucknow

Nurturing Foundations: The Best Playgroup School in Lucknow

In the early stages of a child's life, each experience lays the groundwork for their future development. During these formative years, they begin to understand the world around them, imbibing knowledge, values, and skills that will shape their entire life journey. This is why it is of utmost importance to choose the right & Best playgroup school in Lucknow for your child. Among the many options available, one is GD Goenka Toddler House, which stands as an epitome of excellence - a place where little minds grow into confident, inquisitive, and capable individuals.

Benefits of Playgroup School in Lucknow:

GD Goenka Toddler House offers a host of benefits that play a vital role in the early development of the child. We provide a vibrant and nurturing environment where children learn through play, interactive activities, and guided exploration. Some of the major benefits of enrolling children in playgroup schools are given below:-

A Wholesome Learning Environment:

A playgroup sets the stage for a child's formal education journey, and the environment in which this learning takes place plays a pivotal role. The best playgroup school in Lucknow recognizes this significance and creates an atmosphere that is both nurturing and stimulating. Bright, colorful classrooms, well-equipped play areas, and an abundance of interactive learning materials make for an environment where exploration is encouraged and creativity flourishes. Here, children are not confined to their desks; instead, they learn through hands-on experiences and play-based activities that promote holistic development.

Qualified and Compassionate Educators:

The educators at GD Goenka Toddler House, Understand that their role extends beyond imparting knowledge. They are facilitators of growth, mentors who understand the unique needs of each child. These teachers are not just qualified but also compassionate – they create a safe and supportive space where children feel comfortable expressing themselves. By forging strong teacher-student relationships, children develop a positive attitude towards learning from a very young age.

Holistic Development:

Playgroup education isn't solely about academic prowess. It's about nurturing all aspects of a child's development – cognitive, social, emotional, and physical. The best playgroup school in Lucknow recognizes this and integrates a holistic approach into its curriculum. Through interactive games, group activities, and creative exercises, children develop problem-solving skills, learn to work collaboratively, manage their emotions, and enhance their motor skills. Such a comprehensive approach lays a strong foundation for their future growth.

Structured Curriculum with a Play-Based Focus:

The curriculum at the GD Goenka Toddler House is meticulously designed to knock a symmetry between structured education and free play. Play is, after all, a child's biological manner of exploration and self-discovery. The school leverages this natural tendency, implanting knowing within lively exercises. This not only makes learning enjoyable but also allows children to maintain knowledge better actually. From art assignments to storytelling sessions, each activity is carefully crafted to assure that education is seamless and interesting.

Importance of Playgroup Education:

The advantages of enrolling your child in the best playgroup school in Lucknow are truly valuable. Here are some convincing explanations why playgroup education is a crucial stepping gravel in your child's growth:

Early Socialization: Playgroup familiarizes children with a social environment, teaching them how to interact, share, and transmit with their peers. These social skills are essential for their prospective dealings.

Cognitive Development: Playgroup education promotes cognitive development by disclosing kids to new visions, ideas, and challenges that improve their thinking capabilities.

Language Skills: Through storytelling, role-playing, and group discussions, children grow their language skills, vocabulary, and emotive capabilities.

Motor Skills: Playgroup exercises that implicate drawing, coloring, building, and other hands-on adventures contribute to the refinement of adequate and gross motor skills.

Confidence Building: Engaging in various activities and obtaining positive feedback from teachers encourages a feeling of achievement and increases self-confidence.

Emotional Intelligence: Playgroup education helps children understand and supervise their sentiments, encouraging emotional intelligence and resilience.

Foundation for Future Learning: The skills and values acquired during playgroup education serve as a strong foundation for formal schooling and future academic pursuits.

So as we have come to know how much play group school is important for any child in his initial growth and how beneficial the education he gets from this school is in his future education. Choosing the best playgroup school in Lucknow is a determination that shapes a revolution in a child's life. With a nurturing environment, dedicated faculty, and a play-based curriculum, GD Goenka Toddlers House provides an excellent experience for your child's early learning. The importance of playgroup education extends outside the classroom; It lays the groundwork for a lifetime of learning, growth, and success. Give your child the benefit of a solid foundation - enroll them in the best Playgroup School in Lucknow and watch them grow into confident, talented individuals who are ready to take on the world.

[soonyoullgetbetterx]

At Every Table, I'll Save You a Seat, Lover..

"I oftentimes remark that my life is like a fishbowl," Swift explained to CBS. "If I were to like, fall in love, somebody's choosing to be in that fishbowl with me... and live in that world just with me."

I guess at some point, we've all envisioned to share our life with someone who's going to stay. Someone whom we'll always save a seat for at every table. Whether we've met that someone or have yet to meet them, is a whole different thing entirely.

For me, I really love Swift's Lover era and how it's all romantic and hopeful -full of love. Despite the recent breakup news, I am beyond grateful that at one moment in time there was a time when she was so in love she dedicated an entire album to her Lover. Which by living and learning vicariously through her, kept my hope alive that I too would meet my lover one day when I'm ready.

My world, not unlike Swift's is also a fishbowl. Although obviously on a different scale. I feel like I barely get to keep anything to myself. I worry that not everyone can deal with it and that it might not be for everyone. What if I will never get to be with someone, because of that?

Recently I was talking to someone and yes it's stirring up my fears. Funny thing though, they noted that I'm interested in domesticity when it comes to doing things together with a partner, rather than grand gestures of what's supposedly love is.

I don't really see the appeal of going on fancy dates (although yes it would be nice every now and then, after all "I like shiny (and luxurious) things"). However, I'd rather use the money to travel together or have experiences as well as create memories we'd look back on fondly.

Personally, I find love is said best in the little things being done genuinely, wholeheartedly, and consistently. It doesn't have to be a thousand flowers or dinner at the most lavish of places. I'd rather have a wildflower you picked on a morning run because it reminded you of me (or better yet don't pick it but take me on a walk and show me the flower to tell me why it reminded you of me), go grocery shopping to then cook a meal together, going on walks while having a meaningful conversation.

What can I say, I love routine and familiarity. I believe there's love in the most mundane of things as long as you're with your loved ones. I couldn't care less about what we're doing, as long as we're together without getting distracted. It already means the world to me.

At this point in my life, I feel ready to share my life with someone who's gonna stay. I'm done with the roller-coaster of emotions provided by people with bad intentions. I'm ready for a love that is calm, open, and honest. I want this love to learn and want me. I'm going to take my time and let it grow stronger as time goes by. I won't rush and instead will let it take its time to take root and get where it needs to be.

I have this fear of jinxing things when I say them out loud or write them out. So I guess some things are supposed to be yours and yours only. No matter how bad you want to share them. After all, "Romance is not dead, if you keep it just yours."

Feel free to drop by and say hi, my AMA and inbox are always open!

Don't be a stranger,

soonyoullgetbetterx

[eijishimas]

in secret.

masterlist.

content warnings: all characters are aged up. f!reader, oral sex (m! receiving), penatrative sex, unprotected sex (use protection irl pls!), fingering, slight exhibitionism.

notes: my first post on this new sideblog— i’ve really sinned here. there are soft parts in this too tho. enjoy.

wc: 2.4k

The dim glow coming from the lamp on Reki’s bedside table was the only source of light in the room. You were on your knees, situated between reki’s thighs while his pants were pooled around his ankles. His shirt had been acquainted with the floor, his chest and torso now on full display for you. His cock was straining against his boxers, causing him massive discomfort but he bit it back with a nervous smile. “Should we really be doing this? I mean, my mom’s home—“

“We should be fine as long as you’re quiet, right honey?” Your tone was sickly sweet as your fingers kept dancing up and down his tanned thighs. Nothing had really happened between the two of you, yet here Reki was, hard and horny and wanting you to just relieve him of the pent up stress he had been enduring throughout the week. He swallowed dryly, his hands gripping at his messy bed sheets. The low fire in the pit of his stomach was being fed by the bedroom eyes you were giving him. You were smiling, your eyes never leaving his as your mouth pressed featherlike kisses to his clothed hard on. Reki hissed, eyelids drooping as his face felt like it was burning. The red in his cheeks was so cute to you. You wanted to absolutely ruin him.

Your fingers hooked the waistband of his underwear, finally allowing his cock air to breathe as you pulled them down to the floor. A low moan came from your boyfriend as his dick met the cool night air. He really was trying to be quiet, but you both knew how long that would last. Your eyes were fixated on him, how his dick curved up and how his head was already a deep shade of crimson. He had been waiting for this. Precum bubbled at the tip of his cock, the head looking shiny to the point where it made your mouth water. You wet your lips, your own thighs rubbing together to subdue the familiar aching feeling plaguing you. Tonight was about Reki. Tonight was about giving him an outlet to release that stress and emotion he didn’t know how to deal with. It was about him.

“You’re so pretty, baby,” you cooed, your hands now dragging up his inner thigh. His dick twitched, his amber eyes hazy with his pupils dilated. He watched with such awe and infatuation as your tongue lolled out of your mouth only to swirl around his overly sensitive head. Reki’s hands fisted at his sheets, his abdomen tightening while his breathing quickened. You hadn’t even started and he was already so needy. Giggling to yourself as you watched his pretty expressions, you allowed yourself to take more of him into your mouth. The warm, wet sensation of you around him made Reki’s head spin. He didn’t want to look away from you slowly taking his cock down your throat inch by inch. The feeling was so addictive, his blush deepening as his body felt hot all over.

“Fuck,” he swore quietly, his hand flying to his mouth to stifle the sound of pleasure that escaped him a little too loudly. He was whining, your cheeks hollowing to create a sucking sensation that had Reki’s thighs shaking ever so slightly. You stayed still, letting him just feel all of you around him. You moved skillfully around his cock, your head bobbing up and down while your hands pressed against his quivering thighs to keep them open. His hips were threatening to lift off the mattress, Reki feeling greedy for wanting more of the feeling of your tongue enveloping his entire cock. The noises that escaped past the redhead’s lips were such music to your ears. You knew he was restraining himself from being so loud, but the pants and heavy breathing that he couldn’t control were getting you wetter each minute that passed. He whispered out your name like a prayer, always keeping his eyes on you no matter how much they wanted to roll back and succumb to the intense pleasure he was feeling from you sucking his dick. And still, his eyes refused to leave your face. Your jaw slack, your lips stretched around his throbbing cock. It was all so much. It was beginning to get too much for him.

“Baby— Ah! Princess wait,” he breathed out raggedly through his fingers. He didn’t want to cum right now, not when he hadn’t even touched you. Hearing his pleas, you obliged them.

Your nose brushed against his pelvis before you slid your mouth off of him with a soft pop. His cock glistened with your saliva, looking even more ethereal in the low lighting of his room. A stray string of spit connected your bottom lip to his cock. You moved your lips to kiss the underside of his dick, a dull hum resonating within your throat to give him the feeling of vibrations on his achingly hard cock. All the while Reki was reaching for your face, wanting to just touch you, any part of you.

“Reki,” you spoke his name, your tongue licking a long stripe from the base of his dick all the way to his head, “I love hearing you. I love it when you get all worked up like this,” you told him as you felt a hand cupping your cheek. He tilted your head up to look at him. His face was beet red, his headband lopsided from the amount of times he had been raking his hand through his hair the entire time throughout your ministrations. The amount of love he held in his eyes made your heart melt. “I love you,” he uttered out. He hadn’t even cum and despite that, he was already such a sappy mess for you. “Wanna make you feel good,” he mumbled, guiding your head up as he leaned down to meet your lips. He was so sweet, his giving and caring nature more prominent through his actions more than ever. The way he kissed you held such passion and love, his tongue slipping into your mouth with ease. Flutters erupted in your stomach. “Can I please?” he asked politely, his dick continuing to ache and throb against your stomach. You smiled against him.

“You know I’m all yours already, honey.”

You stood up before your boyfriend, his eyes ravishing your body. He was practically undressing you himself with how intense his gaze was. You took his hands in yours, nodding your head as a form of consent before Reki finally slid his hands beneath the thin fabric of your shirt. You sighed, his warm hands meeting your supple breasts. You weren’t wearing a bra since you had intended to sleep over anyways. Reki’s mouth was on yours again, open and willing to let you take over tonight. You were always more than happy to take the lead with him. His hands pinched at your nipples, the feeling sending shivers up your body. You moaned into his mouth, letting him know directly and exactly what was making you feel pleasure. Your cunt was dripping for him, you were sure your slick was coating your thighs. Your fingers tugged at his messy locks as you made out sloppily on his bed, his hands massaging your breasts before he eventually pulled your shirt up and over your head so it could join the rest of your discarded clothes on the floor.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he told you in a soft voice, a smile spread across his lips as he drank in the sight of your naked torso like a glass of water. He eagerly pressed open mouth kisses to your neck, biting down on the spots he knew were most sensitive for you. He had memorized your body, knowing exactly what places made you squirm with anticipation and excitement for his touches. “Gorgeous. Stunning. Can’t believe you’re all mine baby,” he kept repeating praises to you over and over, making heat prickle in your stomach. “Tonight’s supposed to be about you, darling,” you giggled, your lips being captured by him once more. “Yeah, but I still gotta let the best girl know she’s the best,” he hummed cheekily, making you roll your eyes with a grin on your face. Even when you were about to go down on him, he could be such a dork. “Love you,” he mumbled, face nuzzling into the crook of your neck not long after he had sucked a couple hickies to your collar.

“I love you too. Now c’mon, I’ve got a dick to ride.”

He laughed at your words, pecking your lips and asking again with his eyes if what he was really doing was okay. You nodded, again, reassuringly. With the okay, Reki let your short shorts fall down your legs along with your panties, his eyes widening at the sight of how wet you were. Testingly, he rubbed your slick folds with two fingers. You moaned, head falling against his shoulder as your hips began to rut against his hand. He was entranced with how your essence coated his fingers, a single digit easing into your core. You clenched around him, whimpering as you wanted more of him inside you. You wanted all of him inside you. He whispered sweet nothings in your ear, your fingers raking through his disheveled locks. Your body jolted as he added another finger, your hips moving forward for any sort of friction. Your clit brushed the head of his cock, causing you both to groan. The anticipation was finally getting to the both of you. You wanted him.

“Reki please,” you gasped out. His fingers curled as they were pushed in you up to his knuckles. “Need you, now,” you demanded despite you fucking yourself on his long fingers. Reki wanted to give back all the pleasure you had given him just moments before. He laid back down on his bed, letting you sit on top of him. Your legs straddled his waist, aligning his dick up with your pussy before you slowly sunk down on him, his entire girth disappearing within your slick heat. His hands had a firm hold on your thighs, his mouth forming in the shape of an ‘o’ as your pussy swallowed him whole. Nothing but pure bliss was on his mind. Despite Reki’s cock being on the average side in terms of girth, he certainly made up for it with length. You could feel him reaching deep within you, your pussy squeezing him in the most erotic ways possible. Your hands rested on his chest to steady yourself as you lifted yourself back up off of his dick before roughly impaling yourself once more. The moan that flew out of Reki made him slap his hand across his mouth. “Baby, fuck, oh shit— So tight,” he swore, his free hand snaking down to your dripping cunt to thumb at your clit.

Your body felt like it was being engulfed with heat, your hips rutting vigorously against his as his bed creaked below the two of you. His hair was sprawled out across the pillow like a halo around his head, his eyes half lidded as he watched your tits bounce right in front of his face. He looked mesmerized by you, his hips stuttering and bucking up on their own to match your movements. The sound of skin slapping and quiet, discrete moans echoed off the walls of Reki’s room. His name rolled off your tongue as if it were second nature, his fingers rubbing at your swollen, puffy clit as you rode him closer to your high. Your inner walls fluttered around him as you arched your back, taking a moment to grind down hard on his dick. His eyes were entirely focused on you and the way you looked so angelic on top of him, your thighs trembling as the wetness of your pussy dripped down to his balls. He was so close, but he wanted to cum with you. He wanted you two to experience your highs together. And he knew exactly how to do that.

He stopped stimulating your clit, his hands set on your hips to switch your positions so he was on top. He draped one of your legs over his shoulder, pressing you down hard into his mattress before he began to drill right into you. His brows were knit in concentration, this new angle suddenly giving him access to the one spot inside you that made you see stars. “Fuck!” you sobbed out, completely forgetting that you weren’t alone in the house at the moment. Though at that point, you didn’t care, throwing your head back as your vision started to dot with white. Your hands were clawing at his back, your nails leaving nasty red marks down his skin. You could hear the headboard of his bed continuously banging against the wall from how hard he was fucking you. “That’s it princess, I know exactly how you like it. Cum for me,” his voice was low and gravelly, his thrusts getting sloppier as he approached his own climax. He brought his head down to yours, your foreheads meeting as he babbled on about how fucking amazing you felt squeezing his dick.

The knot that had been coiling inside of you finally snapped, Reki’s name seemed to be the only word your brain could recall as you came hard around his cock. Reki’s hips met yours one last time, his seed shooting long, thick ropes inside of you, filling you right up to the brim. There was a moment of pure bliss between you two, your breathing uneven as Reki’s hair fell in front of his eyes. Reki kissed you sweetly and slowly, pure euphoria dripping from his body as he dragged his softening cock out of your used and overly sensitive pussy.

“Feel a bit better?” you asked of him gently, your body spent from a good session of fucking. Reki looked at you with glowing eyes, a smile present on his face as he kept delivering soft kisses to your face. “I’m always better when I’m with you!”

“You’re so cheesy.”

“Ah well, you love it anyway, hah! Wanna watch a movie and cuddle?”

You snickered, legs feeling numb and your heart full of nothing but love for the redhead on top of you. “Sure, sweetheart. After we clean up.” He nodded, resting his head for a moment on top of you between your tits. The after sex glow was real as evidenced by the way he cuddled into you.

“Or after we cuddle, that’s fine too,” you teased. If you were being honest, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

all works © eijishimas 2021. do not reuse, modify, or repost.

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[tamagosandesu]

SSMonth 2022

Title: some things never change Prompt: post-war rehabilitation (day 6) Summary: He might be seeing things in a different perspective, she might be doing something to create a better future, and they might be living in a generation deprived of war and filled with peace than before, it's still obvious that there are some things that never change.  Author's Notes: I don't really know how i ended up writing this way, but for all i know i just read a ss fanfic, had a mental breakdown then ta-da! Anyways enjoy!! 

_______________________________

The first time he saw her again in an entirely different light, a different perspective, without hatred and vengeance clouding his eyes, she was only seventeen. 

Fresh out of war, more mature than he used to remember when they were still genin, but still with the same air of affection towards him. 

He would love to spend time with her, talk to her more, after everything that he had done to her, to them. He wants to sit down with her, catch up with what's currently going on with her life, and get to know each other again. 

He wants to atone for his sins to her. All the pain, the misery, every great deal of damage he did to her, he wants to make it right. He might not be able to change all that he did to her, yet all he wants to do is nothing but to make it up to her. 

But right now, he can't do that. 

What he needs to do now, is to find himself. To take time away from everyone, to make everything anew. See the world with eyes deprived of hatred, see the world in a different way, and find his emotions once again. He cannot continue with them without finding himself at first, without truly understanding who he is now. 

And with a resolved heart, and a mind ready for a new beginning, he leaves her in that gate to start his journey, until he's ready to face her with a brand-new attitude. 

_______________________________ 

He came back a few years later, with his resolve anew, and his feeling now lighter than ever. He was now seeing the place where he grew up in a completely new perspective—without having the thoughts to seek revenge against it after what they did to his family. 

The subject is still sensitive, and not one that he freely likes to think and especially talk about. But he's ready to understand, to accept change and face the people he once thought were enemies once again in peace and with a clear mind. 

He walks the same path towards the giant gates that he once walked on when he left years ago. There's a sense of anxiety brewing within him, and a sudden giddiness that seems rather unlikely. But he has expectations, that she is waiting for him on the other side, ready to welcome him with a smile, ever so patient with her unconditional fondness towards him. 

And this time, he knows he's ready to face her anew. He's ready to patch things with her, slowly, and do his best to bring back what they had in the past. 

Although he's ready about building a new foundation of friendship and rekindling back the old feeling of camaraderie, he's still not entirely sure if he can open up about his family matters, and everything that made him to what he was before his atonement. 

But what met him was disappointment. She wasn't there to see him again for the first time. He wasn't able to see those familiar locks of bubblegum pink and green eyes that reflect the color of spring. 

Only his best friend of blonde was there to see him, ever so energetic with his signature grin. And his old teacher and team leader with his usual lackadaisical expression, if only a little slightly brighter than nonchalant eyes. 

If he ever wonders where is his female teammate is, he doesn't ask out loud. While his old mentor has been the Hokage, and his best friend the Hokage-in-training, it's only a given that they have a busy schedule to have time for everything. Sasuke even suspects that they made considerable changes for his sake in order to greet him with a familiar and warm welcome back to his old home. 

He doesn't dwell too much on the matter about his female mate not present. He only thinks about how good it is to be back. 

_______________________________

He then knew the reason for his pink-haired teammate's absence upon greeting him back in those gates. 

Apparently, while he was away in his own journey of atonement, she was in here, expending her medical knowledge in matters that needed it the most. She used her influence, her experience, and her kind heart to build a project to help the many, to help the faces of children to lighten up once again after seeing the gruesome realities of war. 

Her compassion grew into a facility, into a fully developed medical center that seeks to help children overcome the trauma of bloodshed, of loss, and of the war at a young age. To help abandoned children, orphaned children, to feel love and live their lives with a smile rather than with hopeless expectations about the future that awaits them. 

This movement that she made touched a very precious part in his being. He knew what she was doing. She didn't want history to repeat, and wants to have children understood when they didn't have the chance before. 

He admires her. He admires her for her devotion, her dedication, and her unending compassion to the people of the village. She not only is a pinnacle of courage, or beauty, and of knowledge, but she's also a kind soul of consideration and love for all the villagers. 

_______________________________

He had the time to meet her a day after his return. They first saw each other once again at the Hokage tower, at their old mentor's office with both busy and respective tasks. 

She came in a lab coat, a thick pile of paper in her arms was cradled. This was the first time he saw her again, after years of being away, he took his time to study the new changes she gained. 

She had a different air around her now. She holds herself with a certain poise that emits an aura of confidence. She is matured now, more than ever. Her hair was now short that rests just above her shoulders in a bob-cut that frames her round face perfectly. She looked more feminine, with a developed body of a woman, hips rounder and waist smaller. Her lips were plumper, her eyes exhausted but brighter. It seems like she's in the right place, seeing how professionality suits her. 

But despite these many obvious changes, her smile was still the same. So bright and so sweet, it could melt. 

"Sasuke-kun," she breathes out his name as if it's a wonder. She stills and her breathing halts when she finally sets eyes on him. Her eyes widen and her lips parts in shock, until it quickly morphs into a smile so sweet beaming towards him. 

"It's good to see you," she says as a greeting and proceeds to walk to the Hokage to discuss matters that he only assumes are about the papers that she had brought with her. 

Even her way with him has matured. She no longer had bashful smiles and blushed cheeks when he's giving her attention. She was all calm and collected, womanly and polite. 

He thought he could work things with her easily after returning. But it seems that'll change. 

_______________________________

They met up in a newly opened restaurant recently. 

She was later than how punctual she usually is. But he doesn't mind waiting. Because after all, she never got tired of waiting for him, and she never gave up on him. 

So it's only right that he returns the favor by willingly waiting for her delay. 

When she arrived finally, she still had her white coat with her, complementing her and giving a feel of utmost professionalism. Being like this suited her. In this field is where she could truly flourish and give her best with passion

They talked in a civilized manner, somehow still new to each other's personal newfound changes in personality.

After dinner they took a stroll around the village under the cold breeze of the night. The air was serene and the silence that accompanied them was nothing but a refreshing comfort that followed them. 

"How are you, Sasuke-kun?" she finally breaks the silence and looks at him in genuine curiosity. 

"I'm good. You?" 

"Never better," she grins in a childish manner that's adorable, and almost makes his lips turn up as well. 

"You seem happy."

"That's because I am," she confesses. "I've built something that could help children who have lost hope and seen things that aren't meant for them."

"So I've heard."

"Yeah. It's successful and I'm very much thankful. I've always wanted to build something to make children understood. To give them a better life. I can't begin to understand what you and Naruto went through, but I've always wanted to understand your lives as orphans. And I wanted the new generation to have a better standing in society."

Her confession leaves him speechless and utterly captivated. The way she looks up at the night sky in contentment, and the way she looked so honestly satisfied was a sight to behold. She was really different now than before. 

"Ah. It's great. This thing you're doing," he says, "it suits you."

She blushes a deep shade of red and oh-so-familiar, "T-Thank you. That means a lot."

It's been a while since he saw that familiar sight. Her cheeks tinged with a pink hue just like before in the days of their childhood. It gives him a wave of relief to know that he still had this effect on her. 

He might be seeing things in a different perspective, she might be doing something to create a better future, and they might be living in a generation deprived of war and filled with peace than before, it's still obvious that there are some things that never change.

[bloodycassian]

anon asked:

ok hear me out, azriel x reader where reader can hear thoughts or something along those lines and she doesn’t know how to control it so she’s constantly hearing or feeling thoughts/emotions and it’s heats super overwhelming and az helps her through it <3

The headaches hadn't stopped for weeks. Rhys had even called over a medwitch from the continent to help, but there was nothing she could see that was wrong. They were all worried, but their worries just somehow made your head hurt even more. The whispers you could hear from them down the stairs of the townhouse were the worst part. 'Do they need a cleansing?' 'What happened to cause it?' 'Their body is doing this for a reason.' they went on and on and on, never answering each other. Each voice different through the muffling of the walls.  You were ready to scream. Pillow over your head wouldnt even block them out. You rocked in bed, hands over your ears. Nothing, no more silence ever. Just the ringing in your head of all the voices. Mor had tried asking her father if he knew anything about such subjects. Anything for help. Azriel swooped into the city streets, nodding at a few shopkeeps as he went. After being gone for the last few weeks, the welcome faces of his home were a sight for sore eyes. He held the bag of various salts and salves gently, just as he had his whole trip back. He landed with precision at the front gate of the town home. The familiar wrought iron fence squeaking slightly when he opened it. You felt his presence before he even opened the front door. The coolness of his essence seeping through the walls. The curling shadows that darkened everything ever so slightly. "Your condition seems to have...developed since I left." He set the tote down on the chair by the door, then closed it softly. The whispering became more intense, a pounding in your head that drowned out almost everything else.  "Oh-" He breathed as he walked in. A shocked look then he was grinning. "Leave us." He dismissed Rhys, who gave him a look before obeying. He took off his jacket, leaving him in a dark tunic that made his eyes look brighter. He cocked his head when staring at you, then took a breath. The shadows seemed to summon around him, making him look even more intimidating than normal. They slunk around his ankles like a fog. Then they covered the walls of the room, blocking off the light from the window entirely. The relief in your mind was overwhelming.  You choked out a sob, looking at him with wide eyes. The silence, the weight taken from your brain was like breathing for the first time. "H-how?" You panted, getting up from the bed. Sickness did not weigh you down any longer. The pounding ceased completely, alleviating your too warm temples. He came close to you, only too close because of the thin nightgown you wore. Really it was one of Cassian's old shirts that just fitted you like a dress. When you had taken his room due to your apparent illness you had found a few 'interesting' items of his that were left. "It seems your condition has...evolved since I saw you last." He reached a hand out to you, the siphons atop thrumming with a warm dark blue. You took it tentatively, your eyes slid shut -then there he was. His scent, his thoughts, his everything was in your mind. You scrambled away from it mentally, your heart slamming in your chest. He stroked a thumb over your hand. His mental voice was warm, yet rough and commanding. "Slow. Think, but slowly. I'm here, you're okay." The voice said.  His darkness seemed to follow him to your mind, coating it in a coolness that was much appreciated. "What do I do? What am I?" You took a breath, trying to center yourself. Your entire being was roaring at you to fight back against the intrusion, but he shushed you into not trying it. "You...are new. You're like me, in a way." He whispered softly, his essence drifting over you comfortingly. Like a soft blanket, cold but still comforting.  "How do I get it ito stop?" You sighed, wanting to bury your head in your hands again. He touched you then, slowly at first. Dragging a soft, textured hand up to your wrist, then pulling you in for a hug. His warmth was the opposite of everything else about him, those shadows did nothing against the core of him, his heat.  "You dont, you learn how to make it work with you." He said aloud, his presence rolling out of your mind like a thundercloud. He pulled out of the embrace, "You need to make the thoughts blend like street noise- like a crowd. Learn to select what you want to hear. "  "You make it sound so easy." You rolled your eyes at him, crossing your arms over your chest. Azriel may or may not have glanced at how it hitched up the oversized t shirt. Hunger opened up in the pit of his stomach at the filthy thoughts. He knew it was Cassian's shirt, recognized and scented it. It made him want to put his own scent on you in several different, creative ways. He cracked a grin and shrugged slightly, "It'll be like reading a new language. But you need to learn to speak it first." He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and lead you to the balcony, the shadows following you in a close bubble the whole way.  "All these people have their thoughts, their words and actions. My shadows tell me all about their outfits, their scents, their hair. Unnecessary unless they have a weapon." He gestured to a few fae males outside a townhome a few houses down. One threw their arms up in the air and stormed back inside." I can't keep them from giving me this information, but I do let it go. I dont even listen unless I detect a threat."  You let out a long breath, feeling the anxiety of him leaving already. "Please stay." His stomach dropped at the words. You grabbed for his hand. As if the open sky was demanding he take off that second. " I cant-" You kept your voice from trembling. "It's too much. Why me? Why now?" Tears threatened and you looked away. He couldnt bear to see you in such pain. He wanted - he needed to give you relief from it. He squared his shoulders and squeezed your hand back. "Are you afraid to fly?" he asked, flexing his wings. The shadows answered with their own wave. "I'm not the biggest fan-" Before you could give your list of excused you'd rather not fly, he was shooting into the air, the backs of your thighs rubbing over his deliciously warm skin. Your yelp of surprise was left behind you. You held on to his shoulders for dear life. "If you would open your eyes you might not be so scared." He laughed, his siphons glaring a bright shield around you that protected you from the wind. He flew fast, and far. His presence was the only one you felt, like a cool rain on your still reeling mind. He had sent Rhys an advisory thought before he took you, letting him know you needed some 'fun'. "If I open my eyes I'm going to vomit all over you." You said, squeezing your eyes tighter. You felt the laugh through his chest. His thumb circled the back of your knee, giving you goosebumps that had nothing to do with the slight chill running through the shield. The shirt was not nearly enough for an outing, and you doubted he was taking you anywhere with anyone who would mind. The thought sent a thrill through you. Alone. He wanted to be alone with you.  As if in approval, his essence drifted happily into your mind, caressing you as his thumb did. He flew lower slowly, enjoying your scent mixed with the cool smell of the lake below. The way the sun at this angle made your hair shine. He landed softly, setting you down only after you'd made him promise you were no longer flying.  "We're done...for now." He winked when you opened, marveling at his wind tosseld hair for a second before collecting yourself and brushing your shirt absently. He grinned wider, and the coolness you'd felt since he showed up in the town home receded. You felt...like you. Normal again, weightless in comparison after the weeks of buzzing in your head. And the view beyond his goofy grin was marvelous. A snowcapped mountain towered above, sloping to create the lake. Mixes of different rock lay everywhere. The scattered pines seemed like giants whispering in the breeze. "Listen to the birds, enjoy the silence for a while." He said, then began walking to the bank of the bright blue water. You stood in shock for a while, letting the sound of the wind and nothing else seep into you. You reveled in it, joying in the simplicity of it. Everything seemed so much louder than you remembered.  You sat on a boulder and watched him skip rocks, the short splats of them echoing off the mountainside. He skipped one after another, occasionally picking up smaller ones and pocketing them. You let your mind wander, trying to regain the feeling he had shrouded you with in the townhome. The solid wall he had put up around your mind for you. But he had said you needed to learn to let it blend in, to deal with it and not shut it out. It was an asset, not a hinderance. You shuddered at using the gift for much. You didnt care to know peoples ins and outs in normal conversation, let alone without them knowing. You attempted to summon that wall. It was like grasping at water, thick and heavy and impossible. The lingering remnants of control slipped away like sand through your fingers. You buried your face in your hands, letting the tears fall.  When he approached, you didn't bother hiding. He had been in your head, he knew what it was like. He said nothing, just wrapped an arm around you and let you cry into his shoulder. Holding you tighter on the bigger sobs that ripped out of you. 

[bethanyeliseart]

Everyone has their different opinions on stranger things 4 (& are entitled to them), but I really do hope everyone enjoyed the score and music this season! Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein along with the many other artists used did such an outstanding job of creating a story outside and alongside the dialogue.

For example, "there are some things worse than ghosts...", which plays at the end of episode 2, sets up the terror that Vecna causes. The music let's you know that this an entirely new type of threat that we and the characters don't know much about at that moment. It also has the vibe of a ticking clock which of course fits wonderfully. This eerie feeling is also enhanced further when the show decided to use outside music at the end of episode 3 where Max realizes she's next and El leaves with Owens. At first I thought the song was an original score, but it's not! It's "There's a Storm Coming" by Dance with the Dead. It still fits perfectly though. The vocals and synths set up this feeling of dread of knowing our heroes are in danger, Max knowing she is doomed because she hears the clock and El having to go back to a place that's full of traumatic memories for her. The music here gave me chills in these moments. And Vecna menacingly calling out to Max feels like it was always apart of the song. This song playing is when you start to know the plot just got ten times more tense.

And then of course they used Kate Bush's "Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)" beautifully, showing Max's internal struggle with depression and also showing her fight to live. But they also added an orchestra to it! Which made the stakes feel even higher and made me literally cheer her on as she ran. They used an orchestra again with the same song in the finale where the heroes finally fight back against Vecna after they got knocked down. It's a different arrangement, but both versions make the scenes all the more emotional.

Then in the last minutes we hear the original Stranger Things theme that always plays in the credits, but it's so much darker and intense. The scene seems like it'll end happily until we hear those familiar notes paired wth Will feeling the presence of Vecna. Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein's score playing over the dying flower field assure the audience that things have only begun for Vecna and the upside down. Ahhh I just love when shows use music so much like this to enhance the storytelling. That's all!

[cipheress-to-k-pop]

Hello!! sorry to bother you could write a ben 10 x reader? (the reader is kidnapped by vilgax and ben has to save her, after that ben and the reader has an argument) please, i love your fics!!

Storm Before The Calm

Pairing: Pre-Established; Ben Tennyson x Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3.4k words

A/N: I changed up the request a bit (I figured it shouldn't matter which villain was used here) also I was planning to have this as sort of a damsel in distress situation but after having a chat with some boys pigs I decided a self indulgant badass reader was right up my alley

Additional A/N: I have a math exam on Thursday and I cannot focus for the life of me. So, I decided to finish up one of my drafts. Now hopefully I'll be able to work like a robot for the next week, after satisfying my creative side. Also, this fic was super self indulgant.

"I trust Ben.” You did. With your entire being.

Kevin chuckled from beside you, “Yeah, try saying that without cracking the fillings in your teeth and maybe we’ll believe you.”

His words caused you to relax, only then realizing how hard your jaw was clenched in fury. Gwen sighed in disappointment and for a second you wanted to defend her cousin and your boyfriend. Until you realized that he deserved every bit of unbridled anger coming to him.

“I trust him. Doesn’t mean I’m not mad at him.”

Your hands were balled into tight fists and even though you wanted to take your eyes off the television screen and take a warm bath, you also for some reason couldn’t stop yourself from watching it.

Like you were afraid something would happen when your eyes were off the screen for even a second. Maybe you didn’t trust him.

But honestly how could you, you were currently watching your boyfriend relax in a hot tub with Jennifer Nocturne and the sight was enough to send bile up your throat.

Ben wasn’t returning any of her advances, but he wasn’t stopping her either. And the thought made you sick to your stomach. You knew Ben was faithful and you knew he would never cheat on you but watching how the Hollywood starlet continued to hang off him sent waves of jealousy through you.

Not to mention anger at the fact that he wasn’t doing anything to stop her. When he got back, you were going to wring his neck.

Trusting him was getting harder with Gwen constantly insisting that you dump him.

Honestly, you wondered how that girl even kept a relationship.

When Ben eventually came home, all the entertainment channels were still talking about the two of them and the well-known picture of Jennifer Nocturne kissing him was circulating about. Each time you looked at that image, you wanted to shoot an arrow at the TV.

As time went by, your anger slowly fizzled out. You were unable to maintain your rage at Ben, quickly getting a headache and feeling tired of trying to maintain negative emotions. Even then, you couldn't push down the uneasy feeling in your heart that seized your stomach.

You kept expecting a text message from Ben, an apology call but as the night proceeded you understood that he was having way too much fun with another woman to even think about how you must be feeling.

The thought of that made you want to go back home and crawl underneath the covers, hiding away from the rest of the world.

But Gwen was persistent and any time you tried to wiggle away from the pair of them and go home, she insisted that you stay and make sure Ben knew how upset he made you tonight.

You were more than happy to give your boyfriend the cold shoulder until he apologized rather than have to confront him. That was just how your relationship with Ben worked. Neither of you were the type to lose your tempers and yell and scream at each other.

Although you were worried what would come out of this. Would you be able to peacefully discuss your feelings and then come to some sort of conclusion civilly? Seems too good to be true honestly.

Even then you waited until Ben came home, listening to Gwen and Kevin about how you should rip the band aid off and get everything off your chest rather than ignore him for a couple of days until the two of you got bored.

Usually, the latter would work but you had an inkling that it wouldn't be the solution for this particular argument because if you didn't communicate your emotions then he would never know how you felt about it.

So, even though your stomach filled with anxiety and sadness as the hours passed, you still didn't leave, determined to talk to him about it.

Your jaw was clenched tight when he finally did come back home, utterly relaxed and even happy like he wasn't just curled up against some Hollywood starlet while his girlfriend was watching it on E!

"I'm really upset with you." You ground out when Kevin and Gwen left, not knowing how else to start the conversation.

"What for?"

You didn't reply, picking up the remote and flicking to a gossip channel, then a news channel, then an interview show and all of them had the picture of Ben Tennyson and Jennifer Nocturne locking lips.

Ben winced, "She kissed me! I didn't even return it."

You still refused to look at you, crossing your arms aggressively, "Uh huh and what was today all about?"

"It's just publicity. Jennifer thinks that it'll help with my career."

You scoffed, "What career?"

Ben's back tensed up and he turned to give you a stiff expression, "I'm a superhero. I've saved the universe a thousand times and now that I'm finally getting recognition for it, you want to be petty?"

"Petty? You think I'm being petty? Well forgive me for getting upset after watching my boyfriend curl up to some other woman in a hot tub for the last five hours!" You bit, standing up from the couch.

"It wasn't like that! Stop blowing everything out of proportion!"

"No, you stop pretending like this isn't a big deal! Ever since your secret got out you've been acting like an ass and since meeting that blonde rat it's only gone through your head more!" You shouted, clenching your hands at your sides. How could he not see your side of this?

"Well shouldn't I get to enjoy my life once in a while?! I'm the one saving the planet constantly! I'm the one with constant death threats and near death experiences every other week! Shouldn't I get some attention for it?! God knows I don't get any from you!" He yelled back and you grit your teeth.

"Don't forget that while you were out there risking your life, we were right beside you!"

"Oh, so that's what it is, you're jealous that everyone thinks of you as the sidekick!"

"That is so NOT what this is about!"

"Oh really? Because it sounds like you're jealous because you're not getting attention by mooching off of me!"

Your eyes widened in shock. Mooching? Did he seriously think that you risked your life alongside him every day to help other people and more importantly, keep him safe, for attention?

Your body trembled, outraged and you didn't say another word, leaving his house in a rush and slamming the door behind you.

You needed something to hit.

***

Your body pumped with adrenaline and anger, muscles itching to be used as you sauntered through the old and run-down factory with reckless abandon. You briefly wondered whether you should've told Gwen or Kevin you were going there but then decided against it, pride and anger too great.

Any doubts or hesitation you had disappeared when you saw Vulkanus, standing tall and broad in his metal suit. And as per usual, he had his herd of minions doing his physical labour.

"If it isn't the Plumber's sweetheart." He drawled once he noticed you. You didn't bother with the stealth, leaving the door wide open behind you and letting the sunlight seep in. If he knew what was good for him, then this would be over quick.

"Hello Vulkanus." You greeted politely and he rolled his eyes. Of all people, he knew just how misleading your innocence was.

"Where's the cavalry?"

"Just me today." You answered and for a second you were confused by your own confidence. Maybe you were taking this just a little too easy. Oh well, that was another thing you could blame your pig-headed boyfriend for.

"Well then, this is going to be easier than I thought. Hope you said goodbye to your boyfriend, sweetheart." He rasped out and the corner of your mouth twitched into a smirk. Without another word, you raised your arms, feeling the familiar heat of fire in the palm of your hand before chucking it at him.

Just as you knew he would, he sent his minions towards you first. They were embarrassingly unskilled but the problem came in numbers. They swarmed around you like ants and you felt yourself getting irritated at the clicking sound they were making.

Unfortunately for Vulkanus his make-shift factory was right beside a dam which gave you an endless supply of the elements to work with.

Summoning all the water you could manoeuvre, you pulled it into the factory, shattering the windows along with it and flooding the room. It only took a few flicks of your wrist to create a whirlpool in the centre, knocking all the workers off their feet.

You stiffened your hands, curling in your fingers and the temperature dropped, the water solidifying with each second until all of them were encased in ice. Another flick of the wrist had the path clearing between you and Vulkanus, who was still warm.

"You-You're sparing me?" He asked, confused and a dry laugh left you.

"Not at all," You sang, eyes turning dark, "I'm giving you special treatment."

Vulkanus bounded towards you, holding his mallet high and you swiftly dodged, using water on the floor to slide quickly. He crashed into the engine of one of his machines, the fuel tank exploding and spewing fowl smelling petrol onto the floor.

It floated above the level of water and began surrounding both of you.

He once again came at you, letting out a roar and you used the water to sink through the crevices of his suit, freezing it from within and you heard the satisfying sound of his suit cracking.

Just a little more strength and forcing a gust of air through the cracks had it falling apart and his frail body fell out of its metal encasing.

"You'll pay for this! You big bully!"

"Thanks for the fun time today, Vulkanus." You smiled, strutting to the door just as confidently as you came in. Even though your body was burning from the workout and you could barely breathe, you still couldn't get over the high.

Before leaving the building, you turned around to see him still glaring at you from his place on the floor.

"Oh, I should probably free your minions, right?" You commented, eyes flickering between the ones still encased in ice and the floor that was still flooded with water and petrol.

You let out a fake sigh, "I guess I'll be nice today," You winked at Vulkanus, "Thanks for the playdate, sweetheart."

His eyes widened when you blew a kiss to him, watching in fear as you ignited a flare in your palm and blew it towards him before turning around and using the wind to slam the doors behind you. When you were just a few feet away you heard the place blow apart.

Slowly, the adrenaline began melting and the blood rushing through your ears was much more audible. You were panting, tired from the exercise and the thought of calling Kevin to come and pick you up. Or maybe even Ben. You were calm enough now to have a conversation with him.

When you pulled your phone out of your pocket you felt a hand on your shoulder and spun around to meet eyes with Captain Nemesis. For a brief second you were wondering if he was here to invite you to some inane party or even to tell you that Ben was at one.

Although you hardly looked the part, you were sweating and your face was probably red and blotchy.

"Can I help you?" You asked, taking a step back, he was a little too close to you and the look in his eye freaked you out.

"As a matter of fact, you can." He said, "You see I'm arranging a little stunt for Ben Tennyson. An opportunity if you will, to showcase some of his heroism."

You rolled your eyes, turning away from him. The last thing you wanted to do was feed Ben's ego at the moment.

"With all due respect, I don't really think I'm up for a damsel in distress routine right now, Captain, I'd rather just get home. And If you take another step towards me, I'll kick you where the sun doesn't shine." You snapped and he backed off obediently, raising his hands in a form of surrender.

"That's too bad." He mused and you turned away from him, intent on walking back home or even calling a cab. Anything to get away from this creep faster.

"Too bad you don't really have a choice."

You felt his hand on your bare shoulder again but before you could even react you felt volts of electricity rush through you. You gasped painfully, feeling fire through your veins before everything started to hurt.

White burned in your vision and colours started to blur together as your eyes filled with tears. Your body crumbled, falling forward and Captain Nemesis caught you.

Right before your consciousness slipped away you heard him say something.

"For your sake, you better hope that Ben Tennyson is as great as those gossip channels make him out to be."

***

When you felt yourself regaining consciousness, you could feel your weight pulling down and also couldn't feel the ground. This had your eyes snapping open, regardless of how dizzy you were and how many dots were in your vision.

You hazily made out the venue, Nemesis Tower, before recognize the blonde woman tied up beside you. It didn't take long before you realized she was tied to the other end of the rope, suspended through mid-air just like you.

This was no doubt going to be some sort of deathly choice.

You noticed when Ben came in, turning into Ultimate Humangasaur. He looked furious, like you've never seen him before and you knew it was because Ben was certain he'd teach him a lesson today.

"Where's (Y/N)." He all but growled and your heart soared. You didn't realize how much you missed him until now, everything from before was forgotten.

"Right up there. And so is Jennifer." He replied, still smug despite the way Ben was pining him to the ground by his throat. Ben followed his gaze to meet your eyes and you took a deep breathe, bracing yourself.

A selfish part of you wanted to stay and see what Ben would do, would he save you even though Jennifer was a civilian and world famous?

Even then you figured that you shouldn't risk anyone's life for petty jealousy, so you took a deep breath, blowing it out through your mouth and watching as a gust of wind blew past, the pressure making you swing.

You swung a few feet back, letting your body fall a little before blowing again. Once you gained enough momentum, you looked up to the rope tying the two of you together and spitting fire at it, falling at an angle. You briefly heard Jennifer scream and revelled in her karma for a hot second.

On your way down, you quickly burnt off the rest of the ropes, bringing a pool of water to crystallize into a makeshift slide as you slide on your knees across the floor, just in time to catch Jennifer in your arms.

Your knees stung as they scraped across the concrete and the wind was knocked out of you when the woman fell into your form.

She gasped and her eyes that was screwed shut gently fluttered open. Up close you could understand why everyone was in love with her. Even then you couldn't spare her any concern.

You quickly pushed her out of your arms, noticing Gwen and Kevin staring at you in awe when you stood up. You cracked your knuckles, making your way over to the older man with a scowl.

"For your sake, you better hope that I'm just as weak as you think I am. Spoiler alert, I'm not."

Ben spared a small smile at you but you couldn't feel anything aside from hot fury. You felt water surge beneath your fingers and threw it at him, pulling up a wall of earth to block his blasts.

Your boyfriend immediately began fighting alongside you and your bodies fell into a familiar rhythm. Even though there was a crazed narcissist trying to kill you, you felt safe beside Ben.

It wasn't long before the four of you managed to overpower him, rendering his armour useless until he was defeated, lying pathetically on the ground.

You walked up to him and your lips twisted into an unimpressed frown when you noticed the way he had the audacity to glare at you. Without a second word, you raised your leg and kicked him right between the legs.

"I always keep my promises, Captain."

Kevin began laughing behind you and Ben cringed.

Finally, when you turned to meet Ben, now de-transformed, all the fight left your body and you relaxed. He looked apologetic and you let him approach you.

His arms wrapped around your waist and you leaned into him, breathing the familiar scent of his deodorant and snaking your arms under his jacket to fist his T-shirt.

He sighed into your hair, arms tightening around your body, "I'm sorry. For being an ass to you and saying all those horrible things, I was being an idiot and you deserve an apology."

You didn't move, not pulling away from the way your forehead was pressed against the length of his neck, "Thank you for coming to save me."

"Didn't look like you needed much help." He chuckled and you felt happy hearing the pride in his voice.

"I missed you." You murmured, holding him a little tighter and he turned his head to kiss your forehead gently. And just like that, everything was right in the world. Just as long as you were in each other's arms.

"I love you."

You heard the click of a camera and your head snapped up to see a herd of cameramen and reporters along with a couple of police cars. Ben laughed nervously beside you, "I guess we won't have to worry about another actress coming between us."

You gave him an unimpressed frown and he just smiled, leaning to peck your lips and you heard the crowd of reporters’ gasp and heard the shutters of cameras before they began shouting questions at you.

You pulled away from him when you saw Jennifer Nocturne make her way towards you. You figured she wanted to snuggle up to Ben now that the cameras were filming.

Instead, she walked right up to you, hugging you tightly and your arms flailed pathetically beside her, unsure of what to do, "You saved my life! I don't know how to thank you!"

She pulled away for just a second before pressing a kiss to your lips. Your eyes widened in alarm and the shutters began once again and flashes practically blinded you.

"Huh, so that's what that feels like." Ben murmured when she pulled away from you. Kevin was smirking beside him, satisfied that he got a taste of his own medicine and Gwen was just in shock.

Ben felt his stomach turn at the sight of Jennifer’s lipstick on your mouth and you were unsure whether you should feel repulsed or cocky.

But as you wiped the pigment off your lips and curled back into Ben's side you couldn't feel anything other than your burning muscles and your drooping eyelids.

You squinted because of the bright lights, feeling a headache grow as the exhaustion from before crept up on you again. After 2 fights and a kidnapping today, there was nothing more you wanted than a nap.

"Wanna go home?" Your ever observant boyfriend asked just as the nausea started to kick in. You nodded and he guided you away from the reporters to his car.

He gently placed you into the front seat, shielding your head as you got in to prevent you from hitting it against the hood before buckling your seatbelt, watching carefully as you drifted into a sound sleep.

Ben heard everyone behind him swoon as he lovingly placed a kiss to your knuckles and then climbed into the seat beside you, sparing you one last warm glance before starting the car and driving away.

He'd definitely notice the shy smile on your face when you saw that Ben kissing you was on the front page of a magazine.

And you'd notice the jealous scowl he'd have when he saw that Jennifer kissing you was on the front page of another.

[cancerjupiter]

ascendant signs and projections

aries rising

they project themselves with intense energy and with primal power. their decisiveness enables them to act on their ideas the minute they are formed. arians do not waste time. they are competitive and have the urge to excel in everything they do. they must continually prove themselves to themselves through action. 

with libra on the descendant, often arians marry without considering the major factors involved; and divorce is a likely result. they tend to choose gentle and vulnerable marriage partners. their mates are usually skilled in public relations and intent on presenting a good image to the world.

taurus rising

taureans can express their potential for power through their productivity, financial dealings, and structuring material and resources. they love the good things of life and often create beauty in some form. 

with scorpio on the descendant, they are attracted to power and status. they seek energetic partners, those who excel in creative expression and the power to accomplish. however, they must guard against jealousy, combativeness, and possessiveness with partners. there is often a need for spiritual detachment.

gemini rising

geminis are original and creative thinkers and tend to dominate their circles intellectually. they also have the power to visualize their ideas and express them scientifically. since they tend to identify themselves with their ideas, their most dynamic form of expression is intellectual. 

with sagittarius on the descendant, geminis tend to emphasize ethical, religious, and philosophical values when choosing personal relationships. they are usually lucky in marriage (jupiter ruled 7th house) and have good relations with the public.

cancer rising

cancers tend to be emotionally volatile. they expend a great deal of energy through their feelings and are romantic and dramatic in their emotional expressions. their emotions are supported by their will, however. they identify with their families and familiar concerns.

with capricorn on the descendant, there is a tendency to be cautious and reserved in forming partnerships and to be shy in public relations. since large crowds frighten them, cancers do not like to remain in a crowd for very long. they are cautious in marriage. they tend to marry late in life and sometimes for status, or because it’s the “right” thing to do. 

leo rising

while leos project themselves with dignity, energy and will, they are at times abrupt and overbearing. they are determined to express themselves wherever they see fit, and they will sometimes enter into and dominate a situation without being invited. 

with aquarius on the descendant, in partnerships leos like to be free. they are humanitarian in public relations and enjoy creating the image of altruism. they have an instinct to centralize things in partnerships; and when they are married they want to know, for no rational reason, the whereabouts and activities of their partner. go figure.

virgo rising

virgos' mental acuteness is projected in practical affairs. they are systematic and well-organized in developing ideas and executing them. no detail is too small for them to notice or explain; and their success is due to the careful attention to fine points and details overlooked by others. perfection is virgos' goal, and there are no flaws in what they do. quality often supersedes quantity.

with pisces on the descendant, partners are often the avenue by which the natives expand into new fields; these partners enhance virgos' human understanding and emotional involvement. virgos attract people who are not nearly so well organized as they are. they must watch out for a possible savior complex, since they might see their partner as a project they won’t quit until they get them right. 

libra rising

libras project their individuality through co-operation with other people; their personalities must be focused on and mirrored in those with whom they co-operate. their actions express beauty and harmony, along with discipline, sternness, and a strong sense of justice. their strongest virtue is their ability to see any matter from the viewpoint of the people with whom they are dealing. libras do not like to be alone; they feel lost when they are forced to rely entirely on themselves. 

with aries on the descendant, libras can be aggresssive in order to gain the respect and attention of others. they also have the power to motivate other people into action without even being aware of it. their partners must understand that if they want peace they must maintain a high activity level and work hard.

scorpio rising 

scorpios project themselves with energy and willpower, and are willing to stake their lives to accomplish their aims. it’s futile to attempt to convince them that something cannot be done, since xcorpios will do it or die trying. they fortify their objectives with a tremendous, fixed, emotional intensity. they have the ability to draw on hidden resources of power to attain their ends. 

with taurus on the descendant, scorpios attract marriage partners who have wealth and/or stability to offer. they are co-operative in partnerships but expect some practical gain as a result. they spend money on lovely things that have quality. they also spend money on their partners and take great pride in the fact that they like their gifts.

sagittarius rising

sagittarians project themselves with optimism. their ambitions are geared towards large-scale goals. they appear to be friendly, interested, and jovial. however, they have a tendency to take things for granted and to think solely in terms of their own affairs and frames of reference. their power comes from an ability to influence other people to subscribe to a system of thinking that is arranged to provide them with all the advantages. nevertheless, the sagittarians' optimism is a source of inspiration to anyone with whom they have contact. 

with gemini on the descendant, frequently there is more than one marriage or partnership, since they often have their eyes on greener fields. even though sagittarians are primarily loners, they attract people who are intelligent and versatile, and who can aid them in practical ways. they are astute and intelligent in public relations. however, they often prefer that their partners represent them and their ideas instead.

capricorn rising

discipline, systematic endeavor, hard work, and patience are capricorns' projected image. everything they do has a purpose, and is designed to achieve some definite practical end. capricorns are serious, austere, somewhat melancholy, and reserved (this is not considering other aspects of the chart). 

with cancer on the descendant, they are strongly attached emotionally to their significant others. however, the fact that their partners also are often emotionally dependent on them presents problems at times. capricorns are, moreover, emotional about their relations with the public and with dear friends whom they regard as members of their family.     

aquarius rising

aquarians’ projections are original, creative, independent, wishing to make their own unique contribution to the common good. they are at the same time fun-loving, people-oriented, and friendly in an impersonal way. they are modest and do not like to call undue attention to themselves. they would rather be loved than admired. they find their source of power in group activity within a close circle of friends. 

with leo on the descendant, marriage and business partners who are powerful and well-established are attracted to aquarians and occasionally dominate them. aquarians are very independent, however, and this domination is (hopefully) never carried to the point of repression. the marriage partners are generally warm and loving and have their own place in the sun.

pisces rising

pisceans project themselves as sympathetic, adaptable, ethereal, and visionary. their achievements are the result of their sensitivity to the subtle currents of their surroundings. their mystical insight allows them to penetrate the subtleties of human nature. they usually have artistic and musical ability.

with virgo on the descendant, some with this configuration will be so absorbed in spiritual ecstasies or daydreaming that they will want partners to manage the more trivial and mundane necessities of everyday life. sometimes the pisces will be so idealistic and romantic that unconsciously they are highly critical and condemning of others for not living up to their expectations. others derive their identity solely through rescuing or serving others (Savior Complex by Phoebe Bridgers lol).