#but a lot of the people i'm commentating on specifically felt a sort of 'high ground' over cis male ccs

[cdroloisms]

so many of the ccs, especially non-men (hannah, aimsey, puffy), talked about how it was the harassment they received from the community for literally just having fun that drove them away, but i never see that talked about in the wider community when it comes to discussing what “ruined” the dsmp

mmhm mmhm

[arimiaromage]

thoughts about dgm chapter 251

gonna throw my thoughts about these new revelations here.

bookman jr or past!allen?

she got us good! I was in shock when I first read it (all my headcanons about pasta, out the window! thrown! chunked!) but now I'm more fine with it.

I believe what happened was that hoshino drew the bookman jr in those flashbacks with nea on purpose - she wanted us to think that was allen and bookman jr. the flashbacks aren't past!allen with longer hair, this is definitely the bookman jr, as we can tell now.

it also makes more sense now why "allen" was talking about high concepts like the spiral being the force for life - it really was a bookman!

I fully think she did this switcharoo on purpose. if we look at her most recent livestream (translated by ponkotsubluuues), someone comments that they were shocked past!allen and bookman jr weren't the same person. her response is basically "yes, I know". she's not surprised people would think that, this was probably deliberately on purpose.

bookman jr & past!allen

okay, now on to some thoughts on who they actually are. I won't stick long here as we'll probably find out in just a few months and we don't have much to go on right now.

personally, I don't really care to ever meet allen's blood relatives. it's never interested me who he's "actually" related to and I always felt it would add even more complicated feelings for him and even more complexity to an already messy as hell family & relationship tree.

that being said, I wouldn't be surprised if bookman jr and allen are some kind of family unit, be it blood related or not. when they begin talking about the two of them as separate people, lucia refers to them as "two young men". so they're probably not father and son, but I could see them as brothers or some sort of brotherhood if they're not blood related.

maybe past!allen is a traveling clown who toured the world with bookman jr LOL.....?

either way, bookman jr was so compelled to protect allen & nea that he gave his life for them. I'm so, so eager to see their bond.

cross marian

who the hell is cross marian in all of this?

we know the cross has been around since almost adam's time, having been with mana and nea since they were children-

so we know that regardless of who is he, he's known about and visited the campbell manor for decades.

in this chapter, they even bring him up by name.

not only does allen ask about him, but lucia talks a bit about him as well.

and note that they're not saying something like "my master left a message for me" and lucia just goes along with it- allen says "my master cross" and lucia continues by saying his full name. she knows exactly who he's talking about.

(allen specifically says "cross shishou" = "master cross" but lucia called him "cross marian")

to me, this is one of the main reasons I don't believe cross is bookman jr. I believe he's somehow tied to the bookman, but I don't think he's the missing jr. if he was, why does lucia refer to him as cross here but not later? she clearly knows who allen is referring to, so wouldn't the bookman have searched for cross and found him with relative ease, given he was at the order for quite a while with bookman & lavi up until apocryphos attacked him?

lucia and the master only refer to bookman jr as "junior", not cross marian. if you're desperately looking for cross marian and are fully aware allen knows who that is, then why not call him that? what do you have to lose at this point?

and furthermore, if cross was this bookman jr, how did he forget who HE made the host? how did he lose allen? redarm!allen looks a lot more like this new past!allen and they both have redish brown hair - if you were traveling with this guy, you should be able to recognize him even if he's de-aged like 8 years, ESPECIALLY once mana takes him in and his hair becomes styled the exact same way.

I know we always have the deus ex machina of apocryphos' memory changing but I really don't want that to be the case for every character, the more you do it the more it becomes a contrivance.

cross definitely has SOME connection to the bookman, I don't feel like his mask and knowledge of bookman things is entirely a red herring. lucia makes it sound like cross reached out to them regarding the campbell manor, but I'll get to that in a bit.

the other leading theory is that cross is cyrus campbell, katerina's brother and head of the family. I feel like this holds a bit more water than him being a bookman, as it'd explain why he was the campbell manor when mana and nea were so young (and presumably before nea became a noah) and why he has worked so tirelessly for both of them.

remember, his innocence maria greatly resembles katerina. it's possible this is katerina's corpse, being infested by innocence. maybe this is from innocence cross was carrying finding its way to her corpse or maybe it was a failed attempt to save her, we don't really know yet.

(I'm not fully convinced about the cyrus theory either though, as why does nea refer to cross as cross instead of cyrus or uncle? how would the order not know about his family and how obviously tied to the noah he is? how could he not recognize allen, his nephew's most trusted friend?)

there have been some theories that maybe the campbells are a bookman family, which may be the case and would help explain why cross has a connection to both, but the way lucia words this part makes me think otherwise.

she makes it sound like the campbell manor wasn't always under their jurisdiction, that it came to be that way but wasn't always. but that might be pulling at straws. I just don't think she'd word it this way if cross = bookman jr.

I'm not fully convinced about either theory about cross as I see holes in both of them. just have to wait and see~

personally I'd still like it if cross was just a childhood friend who got way too attached but we'll see 😂 or maybe he was just pining for katerina from afar....

crown clown

I feel pretty confident now that this is past!allen being hugged by bookman jr, possibly for the last time / as bookman jr's way to protect him.

but I also can't help but feel.... it reminds me of crowned clown, you know? the way it wraps around allen, covering him in an attempt to protect him. even the cut off tips. it really reminds me of that.

the bookman are no stranger to innocence. we also don't know when allen acquired his innocence- did past!allen have it? or...... did bookman jr give it to him as he was dying? did he think it would protect him and nea (and why would he give a noah innocence)?

I would not be surprised if there was some connection between bookman jr and allen's innocence.

allen

I absolutely loved this part.

the pure conviction in his face. no regrets. he finally has a chance to clear up his mind, to cast away the fear he's dealt with for so long about who he actually is. so, so good.

but........ WHO IS ALLEN WALKER????? the burning question. who knows at this point.

I'm very excited to see the next parts, even if it apparently isn't the 35 year flashback (her own words, from the aforementioned livestream) - I assume it'll be a flashback to past!allen meeting nea possibly, or them finding out nea isn't a typical noah, or some major event that happened before shit went down.

yeah that's about it, see yall next time ✌️

[her-acts-of-cruelty]

huge rhrn spoilers!!

this is my review. :3

if you spot any mistakes, let me know! curious to see what other people thought

this is long btw... and broken into sections in no particular order.

1. marketing

i, like many other fans, saw the teaser dropped and assumed the movie wouldn't be out at least until the end of the year, as par the tradition with most movies. However, this isnt movies, in fact i think forge released this movie at the perfect time for a couple reasons. the first beingo that the release date was on Litha, also known as the summer solstice. the reason this is significant is that many ceremonies for this holiday include celebrations with large groups, something that RHRN provided. I felt like this really added to the aspect of attending a "ritual". another reason forge was quite smart for this is that the hype for people around the world to see what happened at the Kia Forum hadnt died down yet. this worked in his favour, considering this sudden drop brought up the attention again.

i really liked that they used Father Jim Defroque as a marketing tactic. Especially considering it connected festival goers at Download to feel connected with fans that weren't there. The use of Jim's posters at download was very fun too, and fitting they got vandalised due to non-ghost fans assuming it was a real priest. for me that added to the authenticity that he's a real person that is very serious about protesting this movie!!!

i also liked the experimentation going on, even if it doesnt go to plan (problems with the jim video drop), the fact that these new mediums are being tested out allows room to figure out kinks and try them again in the future. it added to the interactive element, and made me forget tobias existed, and that this was a very real band and there were very real things going on that i had to be weary of.

2. Music

One thing i did notice is the improvement in quality compared to their previous live album, Ceremony and Devotion. Obviously theres a big change in vocals, i was very surprised that Copia's vocals seemed a lot more high pitched than what i had remembered.

the easiest comparison i can make that's accessible to everyone right now here Rite Here Rite now's Absolution, and Ceremony and Devotion's Absolution. most notably for me was the backing vocals and the presence of this growling and sinister tone, that i really enjoyed. the overall quality is definitely there too, i'm not certain on the specifics but i know for a fact there was a very different set up this time around, compared to C&D.

if you have ghost live, was such a haunting moment. theres many little elements, the backing vocals, the gorgeous piano, and the incredible cello players had a huge part in making this version sound the way it did. the amount of passion and emotion here reflected the message of the song, there was a sense of unity that i felt really stood out.

Its also worth talking about The Future is a Foreign Land. oh my god i cried when i heard this for the first time. this song really encapsulates that sort of bond-esque era of music, undeniably it had that 60s ring to it. It did also remind me of Magna Carta Cartel (more so than subvision, i dont think subvision has quite the same sway as this specific song). i know some others have pointed this out and i'm glad.

from a story point, this song is really interesting. considering we previously had no context of how nihil responded following the events of kiss the go-goat, it was kind of cathartic to know that he did genuinly feel bad for his actions. more about this in the use of animation though.

For tobias forge, this song was really interesting. i felt like it was a bit too blatant having the mention of 2024, i guess it felt like it was implying that from that moment nihil knew that thqt was the year copia would take over as head of the clergy, or at least that seestor would die. which wouldnt make sense? i dont think? idk comments are on, share what you want.

3. Animation/mixed mediums

i wasnt sure how the animation element would tie in with the movie when i first saw it announced, but honestly i think this was the best way to do it. while i was a bit disappointed to see nothing new from liz fenning and justin andrews, the decision to lean into the comments of ghost making scooby doo music and using that artsyle was very fun.

i also felt like this was a time effective way of explaining the events post kiss the go-goat. seestor's idgaf attitude was amazing, im so glad that this didnt fall back on letting nihil get the girl in the end. characters dont have to get back together, and im glad they didnt. this felt more real and more personal, the two of them only sticking around to work and to make sure their children grew up to serve their duties.

the overlay during year zero was so fucking cool. i think its clips from swedish black comedy "Häxan" but i could be very very wrong. this made me very happy though, i wasnt expecting this and was a nice way to throw in some references to swedish media, especially one that also enjoys making fun of the fear around witchcraft and satanism,

4. the ghouls!!

suspiciously well behaved. did not expect that. i was a bit disappointed that we didnt see that much of them and that they were so well behaved??? what happened to my feral creatures???

as per usual, their perfomances were amazing. the backing vocals sent me to heaven, i think best example of this is during mary on a cross, or kaisarion. Seeing Phantom and Dew show off their silly skills was very fun, love me a man that can become a pretzel while he serenaded me with songs of satan. while i am upset that we lost Aether, im glad his replacement is bringing some silliness to his role and seeing his growth with the band had been really rewarding.

i will say cirrus's reaction to seestors death did get me. like damn. youre right this is sad. i think also seeing someone die is actually quite shocking, we dont really know much about seestors relationships with the ghouls so theres not a whole bunch i can add.

im so glad they werent unmasked, i feel like that would've ruined the mystery of what ghouls look like. and i mean not as performers but as fictional creatures. everyone has their own version, similar to how Vessel from Sleep Token keeps on his mask to allow the audience to project onto him.

hearing rain's voice scared the shit out of me. i forgot he knew how to do that.

5. the off stage segments

i am so glad this is how the movie was broken up. what comes to mind for me is copia and nihil in the box just before if you have ghost. this was a gut punch of a moment for me, for a deadbeat parent to just decide they want to be there all of a sudden, because your other parent is bothering you? i did appreciate that big drop of "oh yeah actually i had three songs oops anyway deep breaths loser youre on"

the sudden drop of something like that is insane, and nihil being so smug about it, knowing that he's been keeping that quiet for so long just aaaaaah. but also i get why it was kept quiet, considering how personal the Future is a Foreign Place is to him.

it was at this point i began to cry. and i did not stop crying at this movie, even past the credits.

i did love that there was like no real chemistry between copia and Ashley. like yes, she has a job to do, and copia is known for being useless around women. and also like, theyre co-workers, they dont need to have romantic relations. i liked that!!

i am going to jump to the ending. post encore after the hot air balloon scene. i will not be spending much time on this because my dumbass really believed that copia would just float away into space and thats the movie over.

seestor's death was so unexpected. but i think it made sense. i have mixed feeling about her, mainly the whole "lol yeah i told my 55 year old son i was his mum last month and now ive decided to parent" but thats mainly it. she has a job to do, and she does it well. shes also just the baddest bitch in the world.

i was crying at her dying. and then hearing Copia's pathetic cries had me choke at the emotional whiplash as my friend laughed at me. and i laughed at copia because what the fuck was that noise bro.

AND SHE DIED IN HER HEELS??? girl is serving cunt in the afterlife thats C-U-N-T spells CUNT

finding out copia has a twin (?) was also very shocking, id always assumed he was named Copia becauses hes a copy of his dad, not because like... hes one of two??

Post credits had the entire audience gagged. firstly, seeing copia out of his red tracksuit and wearing his fancy new suit that came with being promoted to Father Imperator (or frater imperator, as some have dubbed him which makes sense and is fair) had me yeowling like a cat being dragged to the vets. Tears were over by this point, i was so proud of him. and happy that forge didnt lie, copia dient die he just now is the real one in charge.

the does also shine a light on how papa doesnt actually have any power, he's just a pawn for the clergy (secondo spitting out im a marrionette??? hello??? he knew full well that he was never the one in charge which is insane. but also fitting for him as a person).

if you're still reading i am very impressed. heres where i put the conclusion;

in conclusion, for Forge's first movie, this was AMAZING. For a band that was originally meant to be scary, its nice seeing them be silly and lean into the things people joke about. they're self aware, and they're fun. i really hope there are future installments and that we get an expansion on the lore (tv show when???)

thank you for reading, here's to Papa V and making new memories!

[allthoseotherworlds]

Okay, still haven't seen the episode and I'm not sure when I will get around to doing it, but I slept, showered, and I'm capable of breathing again (allergiessss)

And I think I'm going to approach it with the same energy as like, when I was in high school and thought I had a crush on someone because I was lonely and wanted to fit in and in high school that was how you did that, in my mind.

So I convinced myself I had a crush on one of the guys in my class who was friendly and nice to people. Fortunately for me, nothing ever happened, and I never actually had to try to be in a romantic relationship as an aroace teenager who didn't know what those words meant.

But like, I think in general with romantic relationships and comments and stuff with the Doctor, regardless of the episode or characters involved, I could see it being kind of similar in some ways.

The Doctor generally wants to be accepted by people and liked, even the regenerations who are more brusque are kind of going about it in a way that's like "look how much I don't care what you think of me and don't need to be likeable" - it feels like it's the other side of that same coin.

I think Gallifrey places less attention on romantic relationships than many other societies, but the Doctor doesn't spend much time on Gallifrey anymore. The Doctor spends a lot of time on Earth and around humans and other species that place more important on romance.

Romance and sex shouldn't be how people define their likability, but often it is, at least in subtle ways. Amatonormativity, etc, all those forces that are more visible to aspec people but present to some degree in everyone's life.

I can imagine the Doctor not being fundamentally interested in those things, probably fluctuating between neutral to averse between regenerations, but still wanting that acceptance and wanting to participate in something that is meaningful and important to so many people and as part of how they define their relationships with each other. Trying to put on that mask and play that game is like, a way to be part of that group.

But like most masking, you can only keep it up for so long before it starts to wear on you. See the Doctor and River, the Husbands of River Song, and any long rambling posts I have made about those in the past.

And especially after Yaz had a crush on the Doctor and the Doctor was unwilling to engage in a romantic relationship with her - because it never ends well, because she's been here before and knows how it goes. But maybe she feels guilty or bad about it too, like that was her one chance to have a relationship that felt more equal or intimate, because humans don't seem to know how to have those kinds of friendships with the Doctor sometimes.

So then maybe the Doctor regenerates a couple of times, and has a stronger sense of aesthetic attraction (but is otherwise aroace) and he thinks "Well, when I make jokes and comments about people looking nice, it makes them happy, it makes them (the decent ones, the ones I care about who aren't homophobic) see me as one of them. Maybe I am like them after all," and he flirts with the guy in the episode, and he does think he's interesting and cares about him.

And he plays the game and gets some closeness and connection out of it that he struggles to get in contexts that are more natural to him.

But if it had a chance to go on longer than the one episode, it would have ended up like with River, because you can only play that game for so long before the other person realizes you have to do it consciously.

And if you don't have the words or general tendency to communicate about that sort of thing, people end up assuming that the pricked is that a sunset can't love them back, not that you, specifically, love differently than they do.

Anyway I'm definitely not like. Projecting on the Doctor or anything haha, why would you even say that... but I will say that I've read very convincing fanfiction about Tony Stark being aromantic and/or asexual and sex and romance repulsed so like. We as a community can turn anything aroace and I love that about us.

[bonesandthebees]

SHAKES UR HAND PRISMO !!!

together we can convince the bee tumblr community to become as obsessed with it as us

ALSO DAMNNN DEDICATED /POS

on a side note-

hold up

on a side side note: i get so distracted in these asks bee omfg im so sorry, i feel like my high energy can get too much sometimes KFDSJKDF pls let me know if u need me to turn it down a notch, i just get excited whenever i talk about fics soo aksdfjkSKJDF

anyways on the original side note: talking about the bee tumblr community just made me think about it, it really does feel like a sort of family <3 i love seeing all the random updates from the different anons here and getting to connect to you and to each other, it feels much more wholesome and secure than places like twt LMFAOO but idk it's just nice <3

i had tumblr for awhile but i never used it until i started reading the asks here, and it took me awhile to join in bc i felt intimidated skfdkjsd which is ironic bc yknow i could always go anon? but idk it just felt like everyone had their groove going and i didn't want to intrude, but i joined and i never felt that way

anyways oops this got long (as it always does kjfsdkj), but i just wanted to say that i appreciate you bee <3 for letting us anons n non anons ramble in ur ask box and analyze ur fics and/or just straight up scream noncoherent things

this has been a bright spot in my life lately and it's really special to me <333 and ur genuinely like . one of the kindest authors i've met, but you also have such a good sense of your boundaries n stuff, i admire you really. ur super cool

and also to all the other sillies in bee's asks, i appreciate u guys too <3 ur all super cool people, and i love hearing what you have to say :)) it's genuinely really nice and comforting to be a part of this community <33

lol no you're fine icy!! while it can be a Lot it always makes me laugh whenever I post a chapter of something that has sandduo in it and my inbox just fills with you screaming. it makes me so happy to know how excited my fics make you and the others though so :D

the thing you said about the tumblr community we have here is so sweet though and it's more right than I think even I realized initially. it's really nice when I see regular askers/anons pop up in my inbox and get to catch up on tiny parts of your lives and then in turn you guys talk to each other—it's just so sweet y'know? the thing I really love about having such an active inbox especially with asks about my fics is that it's a lot easier for me to respond to tumblr asks than ao3 comments. I rarely reply to ao3 comments because it's really just overwhelming and then I'm like "well if I respond to one person I feel bad about not responding to everyone else" but sometimes I just don't know what to say or there's just too many comments y'know? I LOVE my ao3 comments they mean so much to me but it's really nice to have people come into my inbox here to tell me their thoughts on my chapters bc it gives me a chance to reply with my own thoughts in a way that feels a lot more like a discussion I guess

so yeah. thank you guys for coming into my inbox to give me your thoughts it seriously makes me so happy and is definitely part of the reason why I have so much motivation to post so much.

also I'm really glad you decided to start popping in here one day icy you're very fun to have around :)

one thing I've always been very aware of since getting 'big' in this fandom is how to maintain things like boundaries while still connecting with the community and my readers specifically. because I wanna talk to you guys and I love interacting with you and all that, but also sometimes people in fandom who get 'big' can be a bit strange to others or get way too involved with discourse and just stir the pot and to each their own do fandom how you want but I don't wanna do that y'know. I'm here to have a good time and I want this little community we've built to also just be a nice, welcoming place for everyone

thank you for this icy it really made me smile to read <3

[thetreetopinn]

After perusing my youtube homepage to see what the algorithm might be erroneously trying to recommend to me, I came across something and felt compelled to leak my unloveliness across the internet.

I am continuously baffled by the fact that there are still people out there who think that a specific tactic is wise and or good--though it probably IS somewhat efficacious.

You've probably seen these channels. They have flashy thumbnails and attention-grabbing titles like "IS MARVEL DEAD!?" or "DISNEY HAS RUINED STAR WARS!!" or some shit like that.

Just look at these:

I'm not going to bother sharing the name of this channel. I've already told youtube to not recommend it to me anymore. The video that brought this channel to my attention was "DISNEY DOESN'T UNDERSTAND LIGHTSABERS!!" which... um... okay... it's a fictional weapon, and I didn't really see anything in the mainline Star Wars movies that suggested this but go off, king.

Just looking at the thumbnails, without clicking on any of them to watch the videos, they all seem like reactionary, factory-fresh hot-takes just WAITING for you to get mad and write an angry comment because negative engagement is still engagement. I could be completely wrong. I could click on any one of these and it could be a thoughtful discussion of why some people think the thing found in the thumbnail, and it's intended to be satire to draw in people who WANT to argue. It very well could.

I don't want to click to find out.

Because it's just as likely--if not more likely--that these are all exactly what it says on the tin. It could be that it's done in a satirical manner to make fun of these kinds of reactionary knee-jerk people... but there's a problem with this thinking.

Satire is only effective if you KNOW that it's satire.

Satire--by definition--must be obvious, otherwise, it runs the risk of being confused for the very thing that it is attempting to satirize. At which point, it stops being satire. Oops.

I get channels like this popping up in my recommendations from time to time, because the Youtube algorithm is just... really good at understanding me... just the absolute best, no notes, completely perfect, roll it out to everyone and it will solve world peace.

(see how I used satire there?)

Every time I find one of these channels, I have to take a moment to look through their list of videos to look for the common red flags: - Click-bait thumbnails using reactionary hooks - Click-bait titles of the same sort - A relatively high video release cadence (multiple videos a month with relatively similar subjects) - An 'About' description that says A LOT without saying much

According to this person, "The Last Jedi" is, to quote them, 'very, very bad'. Now, far be it for me to say that someone is wrong for not liking a movie. If you don't like The Last Jedi, that's your right to hold that opinion. I don't agree, but that doesn't mean I'm right and you're wrong...

...that said... there's a very specific kind of person who thinks it's super important to announce that they think The Last Jedi is very, very bad. In their About description.

And right here is what I'm talking about when I say there's a specific kind of person who thinks it's super important to announce to the world that they are a big-brained genius who "knows" that a specific star war was one of the bad ones.

It's also why I don't think this person is attempting satire... but I know there are plenty of people who there who DO attempt satire of this kind of thing--and they end up looking exactly like the thing they're trying to satirize.

I don't really have much of a point here.

I guess I'm just kind of ranting.

I'd like a better class of video to be shown in my recommendations--not this hot garbage.

But that youtube algorithm just KNOWS ME SO WELL!!!

I guess that's why I follow a bunch'a folks whose work I genuinely like over on Nebula, so that I don't always have to put up with this nonsense when I'm looking for good stuff to watch.

[heir-less]

Sussex squad and Wales stans have extreme views on W&K marriage. On one hand the two hate each other and are barely able to tolerate each other and on the other hand two college sweethearts still in love after close to 20 years together, I don't think any of it true.

First I don't think the two were ever truly in love. I think they loved each other and William saw in Kate a woman who would conform and fit into his idea of a consort and Kate wanted the position. I don't think she was the last one standing or a default choice like some of her critics like to say. In the first few years you can see the complicity, the friendship between them.

At the same time William cold and snappy behavior that we see more of now has always been there but she would roll her eyes at him give him side eyes none of this now.

Something obviously happened I'm not sure it's about a specific affair ( because I don't think he's ever been really faithful to her). They're never been really lovey dovey but there was a warmth between them that's rare to see nowadays. They're more distant and cold and act like co workers.

I feel that both sides look to feel vindicated on the state of William and Kate's marriage. Waleses are constantly looking for PDA and signs of a fourth pregnancy because it would confirm that William and Kate are living a happy family life without the Sussexes, a future King with his adoring future Queen. On the other hand, I feel like people who resonate with the Sussexes really, really want the Waleses to "get theirs". The marriage is in trouble due to cheating or a mutual dislike would vindicate them by proving that Harry and Meghan's main detractors who are often touted as superior are actually misreable together.

I think William and Kate probably did love each other and got along well, but in a way that was savvier than most regular couples, where this is a transaction of status and desires between the two. I don't think William would have strung Kate along for almost a decade if he didn't care about her. People say that William was grooming her to make sure she was "Queen material" but there are hundreds of Sloane Ranger-types from high-born families who would have instantly understood the assignment and conformed, like you say. William probably would have had an easier time with someone born into the same class bracket as him. However, I think William specifically wanted Kate for the role and was willing to draw out the relationship until he felt she was ready. Kate, obviously spent a lot of time conforming to William and making herself presentable.

I'm personally not into body language analysis and I fully admit that my perspective is biased, but in recent years I think William has been really cold and neglectful towards Kate publicly. I'm not sure what has triggered this, if he wasn't faithful or what, but I get frustrated watching them as a couple nowadays because it feels so one-sided to me. Kate is always the one to wait for William, to look at him, to consider his presence, and she's given almost nothing in return. There have been moments where Kate shows attitude or distaste with him, but they seem like rare displays of frustration with William they seem unprovoked and constant. Like you said, there was a warmth and natural compatibility that was present in the earlier years of their marriage. Now, it's just gone.

Also, it's paired with this hint-hint-nudge-nudge style of reporting from the ROTA and other commentators that is very passive-aggressive and snarky about the state of the Wales's marriage. Not to mention, the response from the palace to rumours about marriage breakdowns has been anything but dignified silence, in fact they sort of botched the way these rumours have been handled by threatening legal action and demanding things mentioning Rose get edited/removed. It's this combination of things that raises my suspicions.

I don't really hope to see Wales's marriage fall apart (I don't hope that for anyone, really, it's just sad) because it will literally make things worse for everyone in the royal family, including three young children and even Meghan tangentially because she is blamed for literally everything that goes wrong (remember when Autumn left Peter Phillips and it was dubbed that she was "following Meghan's lead"?). Right now, however, things are just painful and I have no idea how Wales stans (especially the longtime pre-2015 girls) are getting the same satisfaction watching them. When you're not focusing on how stiff and lifeless they are as a couple, you're focusing on them sucking at acknowledging deeper social issues like racism and colonization and poverty. It's just painful.

[tasty-patches]

Well I would have preferred to make this comment in the replies, but replies are turned off, so...

These are (almost certainly) not AI. They don't exhibit any hallucinations, inconsistent patterns, or impossible depth of field. These are also all very clearly real flowers.

If you don't want to read any more of this post, then take it from a photographer who has taken a lot of photos of flowers. I do not believe that these are AI. Current AI models (in November of 2024) would probably not be able to produce images of this quality with petals as consistent as these. At least two of these are 2+ years old and models from two years ago produced images that looked like plastic. Read on for what each image depicts and some cursory info gleaned from quick reverse image searches.

The first image is a hibiscus. Most likely the hibiscus x rosa-sinensis hybrid (Chinese hibiscus, Hawaiian hibiscus, shoeblack, among other names) and as far as I can tell is pulled from an Amazon listing for seeds of the cultivar.

The second image is of nelumbo nucifera (sacred lotus, Indian lotus), of which there are a handful of high petal-count varieties. The oldest version of this photo I can find is on a Vietnamese health and lifestyle blog from August 2022. If you don't remember what AI generated flowers looked like two years ago, they looked like Fisher-Price toys. I doubt a model today could make that coherent of an image, but they certainly couldn't in 2022.

The third image is a lily of some variety. Probably a Stargazer lily which have a white fringe on the petals that responds quite well to stem dyeing. I can't find an original source for the photo, but it was being passed around Pinterest as early as July 2022. Again, an AI image generator at the time would not have been capable of producing an image of this quality.

The final image is also some sort of lily, specifically a double-flower or double-bloom cultivar of an Oriental lily or one of its hybrids. Like the others, I can't find an original credited source, but the image appears to have been pulled from an Amazon listing for lily bulbs.

Now, after establishing that these are probably not AI, there are two things I want to discuss. Why people might think that legitimate photos (including product photos in this case) are AI even though they aren't, and why crediting sources for photos is not only ethically correct but can avoid this kind of confusion and ensure people don't mistake legitimate art for AI.

(I love Tumblr, I don't hate it, even when it posts a draft I was still working on and deletes three paragraphs I had already written. I love Tumblr, I don't hate it....)

I'm colorblind (blues and purples look the same; orange, red and yellow all appear green or brown depending on the saturation and value; teal, cyan and pink all appear gray or white depending on value) so I can't comment on the color of these specific photos, but I can tell you how I approach color in my own.

Photos are art. When I process a photo of a flower, I'm not trying to produce an image for a botany textbook. I'm trying to get the viewer to perceive the composition with the same feelings and attention that I had when I took the photo. I will exaggerate saturation, vibrancy and contrast if it makes a flower look more like a flower. I will desaturate greens to be almost gray to make sure leaves, stems and grass don't distract from the subject.

These adjustments produce an "unnatural" image, but again, the photo is art. It's meant to convey a feeling and a one-to-one, life-accurate portrayal of a subject doesn't convey what I felt when I looked at it, it just feels soulless.

If people look at a photo of a flower I took and they don't believe that it's a real photo, then maybe that's a failing on my part as an artist, but at least I have a raw photo and all of the metadata to prove that I took that photo with one of my cameras sitting on my desk right now.

Which brings me to my last point. I can't find verifiable original sources for any of these photos. I don't know if the Amazon listings are original uploads from the store owners or if they just found images on Google search and used those, or if they were stock photos taken from Adobe, Getty or any of the other stock photo services.

I'm not here to shame anyone for sharing unsourced photos, especially when sources aren't readily apparent, but it's sad to see it happen and it would have been better if sourced images of photos had been used instead of four nice looking images from a Google search of "pretty flower picture."

If legitimate photos can't be traced back to a source, it will become harder and harder to tell the difference between AI and photography. For some types of images, especially ones with a lot of non-repeating information, AI is already producing images of nearly identical quality to heavily postprocessed photos. They still struggle with repetitive patterns and text, but they're getting better and it's only a matter of time.

The only way to make sure that photos can be verified as real is to maintain a credit line for every photo. If you take photos and repost then somewhere without credit, not only are denying an artist attention for their work (if not outright claiming it as your own), you're denying viewers an opportunity to verify the authenticity of the work.

I would prefer that people not repost photos at all and instead link to original sources, but I've been around on the Internet for a long time and I know that that's not a realistic expectation. Maybe photographers should all be watermarking their photos, but I personally hate the look of watermarks and signatures on my own work. I don't even sign the front of my paintings.

Anyways, thanks for reading my ramble, have a nice day.

Fairy flowers appreciation post

[scriptlgbt]

I have a character I'm considering making genderfluid.

They're immortal and a god, and I'm thinking of making their gender change every few years... Instead of like. Day by day or anything like that.

Since they're a god, they can shapeshift. Is it odd or strange to make them be able to change from a masc... body I guess to a femme one? And they go by a different name when having a femme body.

Is it also... weird or something to NOT have them experience dysphoria? I mean like they do get anxiety around people when they're female since they're AMAB and that's how they spend most of their time and they haven't spent enough time as a female yet to get used to it.

Ok so to summarize since I can be kinda rambly:

Is it weird or anything to:

- have their gender change year by year (as in maybe they spend ten years as male, one year or a few months female, five years male, one to two years female, etc etc)

- have them shapeshift when their gender identity changes

- have them not experience... physical dysphoria i suppose; they would experience "social dysphoria" because of anxiety

Also they're uh. Bisexual and polyamerous. They're in a relationship with a gay man and bisexual woman and they're friends with benefits with a different woman... is that too much... diversity...? Is there such a thing as too much?

And lastly, are there any things I should avoid when writing in this characters POV? Anything genderfluid people may experience that I as a cis person may not know or think about, just in a day in the life sort of way.

Thank you in advance if you reply, I really appreciate it! This is a long one so I'm sorry about that haha.

Oh! Hi! I'm the anon with the immortal god character. I just sent in an ask and realized I forgot some questions, sorry!

How might their partners refer to them? How might those dynamics work? If the god can shapeshift, would the partners automatically refer to the god by the corresponding pronouns?

Also I'm thinking the god has a different name depending on if they're masc or femme. But also they sometimes may not want to go by a different name?

Answer

I’m going to answer this in sections!

1. Weird to have identity change year by year?

This is totally fine! This actually happens to me. Some of it is just different labels have resonated with me over the years but I do feel my identity has changed in some way. I usually change pronouns as well, sometimes a name, but not always. My current situation is that I give different names and pronouns based on the people I’m with. So people who have known me longer were introduced with earlier names, and I’m okay with them calling me that. More recent folks will get other names. People who know me well may know several names and use any of them, but most people have one they stick to for me. I will note that my own fluidity is always some variation of genderqueer but there are times when I identified with androgynous, other times as agender, and so on.

Other people can feel different and experience fluidity differently or at different rates. I think when I first was figuring out stuff in high school I was a little more rapidly fluid. I had a friend who would ask my pronouns at the beginning of each day. (Eventually I kind of felt like it was more of a bother to try and interrogate myself every morning so I just kind of opted to they/them until I was maybe 20 and meandered into neopronouns.)

2. Weird to have them shapeshift when their gender identity changes?

This is also fine, but I’d be careful not to imply there has to be a direct correlation with any given body part and a specific identity. There are a lot of people of all genders who want to look all sorts of different ways. IMO you don’t even have to be trans to transition if you want! (Check out that link, there’s a lot of people in the comments philosophizing about it too.) Ultimately gender identity is about how you see yourself. Gender expression is just one aspect of things and it’s not always something that is going to make your gender legible to others.

I also would hesitate to refer to a given body type as masc or femme. Masc and femme are more like... identities. It’s ok/normal for trans people to call our bodies whatever. But I think when you’re writing maybe use more specific language, because using the term “femme body” and expecting people to assume you mean a stereotypical dyadic cis woman’s body. Femmes and mascs can have any kind of body.

3. Weird to not have dysphoria, except when a specific gender?

This is fine. But I think with them being AMAB and sometimes being a woman, you might want to do some more research on transmisogyny. We have a tag for it here, but I wouldn’t limit your research just to our tag.

4. Is bi + polyam + all these mentioned diverse partners ‘too much diversity’?

Absolutely not! You’re all good!

5. How would partners refer to them? (Pronouns/terms/name etc)

I don’t think it’s safe to say that presentation always lines up with what pronouns genderfluid people have. But that is the case for some. I would just have it be communicated at some point. Like if there’s a scene where their gender has recently changed, there’s just a check-in that a partner makes about what terms to use now, or if they’ve changed at all. Or if it’s not immediately clear to the partners, the god character could just mention it. What they call each other as partners can really be anything though.

I call my partner my partner, but technically we’re queerplatonic partners or something like friends with benefits. (The axis of the relationship is platonic but our behaviour and expressions of that platonic love are significantly more dedicated and involve, well, aforementioned benefits.) We also sometimes use the term “companion” and we might change the terminology based on what’s convenient to say, including her sometimes being okay with being called my girlfriend if it’s more convenient. On emergency contact forms we’re often considered common law spouses. On the census I wrote we were queerplatonic partners. To delivery drivers we are roommates.

Whatever labels are cool with the people involved work really, and since your characters are fictional, you can make up what that is.

6. Other things to keep in mind?

Gender fluidity doesn’t always mean rotating between two binaries. If they rotate between two binaries, that’s totally cool and fine, but please don’t feel limited to that. In all my fluidity, I haven’t identified with a binary gender. There are so many different possibilities, so many different ways to experience gender. And don’t be afraid to consider neopronouns either (you could even make some up too, that’s totally fine, IMO). Or maybe they change genders sometime but not shapeshift, or shapeshift but not change genders.

Readers, feel free to tack on anything you think should be added to this!

- mod nat

[astroandstuff]

✧ Aspect Series ✧

hey everyone! I'm back with another installment to my aspect series sorry it has been a while life has just been hectic! I also apologize for any typo or grammatical errors you may find I assure you there are probably many. Anyways I hope you enjoy this superficial trip through one of my aspects!

Again this was inspired by seeing people say that not all the aspects in our chart manifest the same in our lives and might not even be as prevalent as others. So how I'm doing this is I'm gonna take a look at one of the aspects in my chart on an individual, albeit superficial, level and we'll see if I relate to it or not in any way. I won't be taking into account the signs or houses when looking into it I just want this to be more general. Hopefully that make sense! Please remember I’m not a professional astrologer I’m just trying to learn more about astrology. Alright let’s do this!

Sun square Saturn

difficulties early in life due to criticism from authority figures

hidden insecurities

might have low self-esteem

self-critical and hard on oneself

tend to self censor

Defensive and sensitive

Limited/restricted self expression

Unsure of oneself

might've grown up quickly

Gets better with time

So honestly I have seen a lot about this aspect and it seems to be labeled like one of the big, bad scary aspects to have. And apparently it’s a strong aspect for me so this should be fun let’s dive in!

Alright so this aspect spoke a lot about insecurities and restriction on self expression and character which I do in a way relate to. When I was a kid I was extremely outgoing and very social (and I still am but to a lesser extent) i am much more guarded around people than i used to be and i don't really have an explanation as to why it sort of just happened. I do have a lot of insecurities especially about my weight and just appearance in general and much of that comes from my parents specifically my father *cough cough* Saturn *cough* lol.

So when one of the biggest things said about this aspect was criticism from authority figures early in life i felt that man. Now don't get me wrong I don't have a bad relationship with my dad, but it did really affect me a lot when i started gaining weight when i was younger, around 13, and my dad started saying that I would be so pretty if i were thin again and would just make comments about how i needed to workout more and eat healthier. I knew in his mind he thought he was helping me but in reality it was just very hurtful to a young impressionable girl. This caused me to become very insecure about my weight and how I looked to the point were I would only ever where jeans, sweaters, and t-shirts anything that would kind of shroud me. I was so insecure that anytime someone looked at me i would begin to wonder what they thought and i would get a bit uncomfortable and would just want them to look away because in my mind there was no way they could think i was attractive because i wasn't thin. My self esteem was basically non existent but I would always pretend like I wouldn't care what others thought about me and i would pretend to be much more confident than i actually was (and i think that might also come from the Leo in me).

Thankfully when I was in high school I met some amazing friends and they truly just boosted me up and I really began to feel more comfortable in my own skin. Of course it was still hard especially when i was in college and dating because my insecurities were so deeply embedded into me. I would still find myself thinking this person doesn't like me they're just being really nice, or they just see me as a friend, or is there something on my face why are they looking in my direction. I still am insecure about myself to this day and i unfortunately don't think that will ever change because we are humans we are not perfect but I'm trying to not let them run my life and hinder me (and like it says this aspect gets better with time so has my self-esteem so don't fret if you have this aspect).

I also do feel like I grew up quickly because I had older siblings who had their own problems that i witnessed at a young age. I saw the pain that my family faced as a result of their actions and because of that i always told myself okay I can't make the same mistakes. So I became extremely strict with myself. I never allowed myself to drink, smoke or do any type of drugs (even to this day), while in high school i never dated, I made sure I never asked anyone for money all in efforts to make sure I wouldn't make the same mistakes. And i just prohibited myself from many things a lot of people my age were doing and just became really hard on myself if i ever made a mistake.

Because of all this I would sometimes feel like i didn't have a personality and just in general felt like nobody really knew me. A lot of people in my life would say things like i was very serious, or i am quiet, or not very affectionate when in reality I am the opposite. I'm someone who loves being around people and just joking around, going on random adventures with people. I actually hate being alone not because i hate being with my inner thoughts or anything like that but just because i honestly get bored and would much rather be talking to someone. But again even though i love talking to people and getting to know them i feel like i can never truly open up to anyone and be 100% honest with them because a part of me feels like they wont be able to accept me. So i feel like i can never be my true self and even now i don't think there is anyone in the world that knows the real me even my closest friends and its honestly a very lonely feeling sometimes which is part of the reason i created my tumblr.

Now while looking into this I did see that a good chunk of people who said they have this aspect say they have from some form of anxiety and depression. I myself do not have anxiety or depression, but if anyone who comes across this post does and who just needs someone to talk to, vent to, or needs someone who will just listen to them please feel free to reach out to me and I will be that person for you. Please don’t feel like you have to go through hardships alone or that you don’t have anyone who cares for you because even if I may not know you personally I care for about you as a living, breathing person who has every right to be heard and loved.

Now all that might've seemed very dark but in actuality even though it is a lonely feeling sometimes and my insecurities aren't fun (but then again when are they ever) for the most part i am very happy. I tend to not put a lot of meaning on things that make me feel down. I am the type of person who is easily entertained and pretty much fascinated by everything and let me tell you i'm glad because it makes life a lot more fun.

Now with that being said I think that is all for this LONG post. Please let me know if anyone with this aspect relates to anything in any way shape or form. Again please remember I’m not an astrologer so sorry if anyone finds this inaccurate this is just what I found and what I deduced. If you guys have other information on this aspect please let me know I’m always eager to learn more!

I hope you guys enjoyed this! Take care of yourselves please :)

- S 🤍

[anondudeao3]

Fic Recs!

Since I'm on hiatus, I've finally had time to do some reading, and I thought I'd give some fic recommendations, since I won't be posting for quite a while. These are my absolute favourites!

(I'm splitting this into two posts — one for JayDick and one for JayTim — because now that I'm finished with the first half it's quite long)

JayDick

A Love Triangle With The Same Person

By: Chrystie, kate882

Word Count: 10,031

Summary: Dick might have a bit of a thing for Jason, one of Red Hood's criminal underlings. But he's also already a little in love with Red Hood.

→ Identity porn! Who doesn't love identity porn? Very cute and sweet.

Everything I Know

By: epistemology

Word Count: 12,360

Summary: Red Hood is a little bit in love with his partner, Nightwing, who has a huge crush on Jason Todd, the hot bookstore owner, who is actually the Red Hood, who is too busy being in love to notice Dick Grayson, who's actually Nightwing.

Jason and Dick fall in love with the wrong versions of each other, and things become complicated fast.

→ More identity porn, but this one is a lot more sort of missed connections, plus it has bookshop owner Jay who was never taken in by Bruce! It really has you begging SOMETHING to happen to somehow make them see that THEY ARE EACH OTHER, THEY ARE THE ONES THEY LIKE. AHHHH IT'S THE SAME PERSON. And when it finally does happen, it's so sweet and satisfying. (I recommend checking out their other fics too! Lots of sweetness.)

Lie To Me, Darling

By: Chrystie, kate882

Word Count: 19,214

Summary: Officer Dick Grayson is undercover in the infamous Red Hood's gang trying to track down the man behind the helmet. With his former partner killed for being found out, there's a new guy in the gang to take his place. Jason doesn't seem like the average new gang recruit, and Dick may be getting more than he bargained for trying to get close to him.

→ Okay, ngl I JUST now noticed that this one is by the same people as the first one, and I specifically didn't want to put multiple fics by the same people (just say I recommend checking out their other stuff, but not rec separately), but it's too late now and I don't have a 7th JayDick fic to recc that isn't also an author repeat, and I don't want it to be uneven.

But ANYWAY. This one will fuck you up, I can't lie. Unhappy ending, but if you can brave that, ohhh it's so good. It's so damn sweet whilst the good times last, even though you know it's only temporary and it's all going to go to hell at some point... man. It hurts. But it hurts so good. It's beautiful, and I personally think it's worth the pain.

Two Birds on a Wire

By: empires, pentapus

Word Count: 20,565

Summary: Dick asks Jason for help on a case. Jason should have never agreed.

→ It's probably laughable that I'm reccing this, since pentapus is one of the authors and their art is like huge in the JayDick fandom, and the fic has more than 22.5k views, which seems to be quite a lot as far as JayDick fics go. But in the event that you haven't read it yet... This is actually the very first JayDick fic I EVER read, it introduced me to the ship, and I just reread it and it's still just as amazing, what a winner to start out with!

The dynamic between Jay and Dick, the way Dick gets so into his undercover role, Jay's emotional turmoil, the action — it's all just absolute chef's kiss! It's so hard to write action well, and these two made this fic so engaging!

All Soulmates Final, No Refunds

By: empires, salvadore

Word Count: 38,900

Summary: Mystic Waters Grande Hotel sells itself as a luxury soulmate retreat with all manner of couple’s activities. The cost is high, and all is not as it appears on the hotel’s grounds. Dick and Jason go undercover as newlywed soulmates to find out what’s behind the rash of missing persons. And dig up old feelings in the process.

→ (Since empires was collaborating with two different people of the different fics, I don't count that as a repeat).

Well firstly, this is a rare Batman!Dick JayDick! And secondly, yes, one of the ubiquitous soulmate AUs. But with some very interesting twists! Also, like TBOAW above, the action in this is amazing, and absolutely had me on the edge of my seat. Similarly, their undercover personas were lots of fun, and it was very fun to see them push each other further and further with them.

Secrets of the Sea

By: ParzivalHallows

Word Count: 42,711

Summary: Being a merperson was dangerous enough, but being a merperson captured by pirates? That's got to be one of the worst fates for a merman. Merman Dick Grayson is captured by a slave ship, where he meets Jason Todd, who's a slave on that ship. Together, the two plan an escape. However, they need to put aside their odds first, which is very difficult for the two stubborn men.

→ I have to give you fair warning first, this one is incomplete and hasn't been updated since 2017, so I don't think it's ever going to be finished (but it can't hurt to leave a nice comment!) BUT WAIT, DON'T SCROLL YET, hear me out. It's really good, okay. You do need to mind the warning tags because there is major character death (not Jay or Dick though, and since it's not complete I'm kind of choosing to believe that they're not really dead and later in the story it actually turns out that they managed to survive).

There are a lot of grim things in this story, it's really about survival, but the worldbuilding is fucking phenomenal, and the author drew me right in. The descriptions and the action and emotion, the unexpected magic that they have to figure out? It's all so cool and well done.

Steady On Forward

By: JayseHasNoGrace

Word Count: 96,287

Summary: Dick Grayson's life has never been easy, but he'd like to think it's been going better lately. He's been operating mainly out of Gotham again for almost a year, and has been in a steady relationship for just over. He knows where he stands with crime-fighting, and the family is all on pretty good terms, considering.

Things are really going pretty well.

Unfortunately, the balance doesn't last long, and old horrors from Dick's past end up dredged up alongside new ones.

This is a story about love and family, but equally so about trauma and healing from it. Please heed the warnings in the preface.

→ Alright, the final JayDick rec, the longest, and the darkest. But wait, again, don't scroll! It's also by far the most hopeful AND FLUFFY. Now, the author is NOT fucking around about heeding those warnings, there's a shitload of them and it's really heavy, hard shit. Do not get me wrong, this fic is going to HURT you. But by the end, it's going to have felt so cathartic, and you're going so feel soft and hopeful and whole. I don't know how they did it, but it's SUCH an emotional rollercoaster. Another commenter on AO3 (mach5plus1) said it better than I could:

I gave this fic my whole heart, it took it, smiled and said “awwww, I’ll take care of it!“

Then started putting pressure on it and I told it “ouch, that hurts”

The fic kept smiling and put more pressure until a piece broke off (last chapter)

and then another (this chapter)

The fic keeps doing it until my heart is shattered into pieces and it’s standing over each shard with a frown saying “oops” (the upcoming chapters)

Then, after finding each piece again and picking them up, the fic will slowly push each piece back into place.

By the end it’ll give my heart back a little different, but somehow better than it was when I gave it away.

It will crush your heart, but it will lovingly patch it back together by the end, I promise. If you can read it without getting triggered, I thought everything was well handled, and it's so worth it. (I recommend checking out their other JayDick fic too, they only have one, but it's a fluffy romcom, so if you need a break after this one, that's there!)

[fiddlepickdouglas]

Hey. Ex-Mormon returned missionary here. I don't often like identifying myself that way because it comes with a lot of personal shame and religious trauma, but this post is extremely important.

It really is the people who are generally polite/kind that help us open up to new possibilities. Even if we take years. Hell, I'm 30 and I've only been out for 2 years, as of 2023. But I thank each and every person who was patient, not pushy, and gave me adequate space to sort out my own thoughts and feelings. I believed I would never leave. And no one tried to force me out either. I didn't feel like anyone was trying to "tempt" me away from "the truth" - I was already backing out of the chapel on my own by the time I began to grasp why anyone would drop the scriptures and run, because I had already been seeking out things I knew were "wrong" but felt right to me.

It isn't just boys - thanks to an age drop back in 2012, girls can leave at 19 and boys leave at 18 (which means most of them basically go straight out of high school with no room for secondary education before doing this. Yikes). But especially for young men there's an extreme push that this is not only something they should do, but if they are members of the LDS church for at least a year by the age of 26 and choose not to serve a mission, it's a moral failure. Along with that push, when these kids return it's common that they're pressured to date and get married ASAP (and if they didn't figure out they were gay by spending 2 years surrounded by a companion of the same gender 24/7, they are horny asf), and their standards are often going to be along the lines of, "I could probably marry someone who didn't also serve a mission, but I would just prefer someone who did because they'll understand me and relate to my experiences," if not outright barring those who chose not to become missionaries, let alone someone of another faith/belief. So what you get is a lot of young people who *think* they have experience in the world being rushed into dating and marriage (that they believe is extremely unique and should last heterosexually and monogamously FOR ALL OF ETERNITY, in which separation is made incredibly difficult by church leaders), and that's how so many continue into adulthood and stay in those beliefs for the rest of their lives.

I won't describe my full experience leaving because it was a much longer process than just having some random awakening, but the moment I knew I no longer could stand that shit, my affinity for the LDS church went out like a light with a permanently broken switch.

But I thank every queer friend I had in high school, every pagan/Muslim/Bahai/Buddhist/agnostic/etc. friend I've ever made, every person from a distinct culture whose norms are far from Christianity (and especially Mormonism) that helped me come to be who I am. And I'm sure there's numerous people like me (or soon-to-be like me) on this site who genuinely appreciate thoughts like OP and the following commentators because we are victims and while not every person who has left the church considers Mormonism a cult, it absolutely is.

I still get random texts and emails from people reaching out, trying to invite me back, total strangers just seeing my name on a list and trying to bring back a lost sheep, when I've tried to block everything I could in every way necessary. We now have to get a specific document notarized and presented to a church leader to have our names removed from their registry. Which means many people who don't live in Utah State (where an enormous amount of the LDS population live and where church headquarters are) likely have to go through hoops and wait ages before they are considered excommunicated, and those who do live in Utah risk having to present that document to a notary who is likely a member of the church and while some can bravely do so, others would rather not test their anxiety.

To anyone who is currently a member and questioning beliefs, or you know someone who is, know that it's okay to seek advice from all walks of life and that the agency you have is yours. Learn to recognize which people are using targeted manipulation tactics to sway you, and those who are simply presenting concepts or logical means of studying and understanding that you need to explore. Take your time. Or if you really just want to dive into what a different life could be like, go for it! Just with caution, because there are many who come back to the church because they feel that everything they were warned about is true and they have nowhere else to go. That's not a good reason to return; it's just going back to what's familiar to cope and absolve yourself of any mistakes you feel you have made. I hope you can find whatever direction you choose to go and know that if you walk away, you'll find people who will love and support you and give you the tools you need to come to terms with who you are and how you want to live. Things don't go perfectly, and it's fine if you still need religion of any sort to feel stable. But you can be happy in a way that matters and lasts and fulfills you the way you've always wanted to feel.

[lorirwritesfanfic]

About reader's feedback

I made a post about encouraging people to comment or reblog on fics a while ago, but I think some of the people who reblogged it kinda missed my point about it, so here's some clarification.

When a fanfic writer states in their fics "comments and reblogs are appreciated", I think some of them immediately imagine the nice kind of comment, A.K.A. the one the reader mentions the parts they like, asks questions about something, makes a compliment about an specific part and even quote their favorite part. I know it because I always hope to get them. They give me chills, feels and even motivation. But I try not to have high expectations. After all, most of the time, I don't get that super duper awesome review.

I stand by my word again when I say no one is obligated to give their feedback about everything they read (especially if they don't have something good to say). Sounds like I'm sabotaging my work, right? I'm not. And I'm going to tell you why:

Sometimes the reader isn't good with words: I know it's sucks to get just a like or a reblog without a single "great work", "I love it" or even a bunch of emojis or gifs, but not everyone knows how to express how they feel. I remember a post created by one of my followers who felt the need to explain why she didn't make any comments and she said she was afraid the writer would find it stupid or irrelevant. Lots of people said she was wrong (which is sort of true), but why try to force her to say something if she feels insecure about it? Not every single person is good with words. But if their likes, reblogs and asks are constantly in your notes tab, trust me. They like your work;

Most likely, only your friends will make a huge essay about your fic: Same way not everyone feels like they're good with words, not everyone will feel confident to express their feelings about your work because they're not close to you. Speaking from personal experience, I'm pretty closed off and sometimes I can come across as weird, antisocial, intimidating (not kidding, I've heard those more than once), so I understand if people don't feel comfortable about making a long review about what they think of my series. And it's fine. I'm grateful for their comments anyway.

There are different forms of expressing how they like a story that doesn't include a review. The ones I usually get are:

The reblogs with gifs: I love those. Especially because some gifs are are masterpieces 😂 No, it isn't the same as a detailed description of the reader's opinion, but they're still expressing how the feel about the story and sometimes it's so funny. So good! I stan people who "comment" with gifs.

The reblogs with emojis: So much fun! I like them. Once again, a very nice form of expressing how they felt. It's not as creative as posting gifs. But if a reader left a few emojis in a comment or reblog, depending on what they post, you can assume if they really read it and they let the author know how they felt about the story, right?

Gifts based on the story: is there anything sweeter than a person reaching out to say "hey, I really love your story so I made this" and then you're blessed with a lovely moodboard, a fanart, a playlist for your ship, a picrew of the characters in your story? They probably won't do it every single time you post a story, but it's still adorable and deeply appreciated.

Now about the likes. I completely understand why any content creator on Tumblr hates them and it's more than "likes don't get my work seen by other people". Likes can mean different things for people. Some use the likes tab as a way to save things for later. Others might hit the button as "this is cool, but not reblog worthy" (oof...). And there's that number of people who don't know what to say and hit like because they don't know what else to do. Yet, there are other ways to express how you feel about a work that don't require making an essay about it. Try them. (btw, I'm not saying that you shouldn't. By all means, if you have a lot of feelings about a story, do tell the author)

I'm still not going to take the "if you like it, reblog it" road. But if you can and if you feel like it, show some appreciation to your favorite fandom creators. Amidst all the fandom drama and disappointment with canon, they're the only ones who care about keeping the fandom alive.

[hot-wiings]

Leave An Ask Or Comment To Be Added To A Specific Characters Taglist.

Edited: 10-21-2020

When you woke up the next morning you felt a discomfort between your legs. Your core hurt, but it was nothing compared to when Kai had his way with you. kai roughly took you. He didn't take the time to let you get aroused, he just dove right in and got himself off without care about whether you were enjoying it or not. He didn't listen when you said no, instead, he forced you to give in. He forced himself on you and coerced you, then he left you to clean up the mess. 

Dabi gently took you. He took his time and paid attention. He asked you if he was hurting you, he asked you if what he was doing was okay. He made sure you were aroused when he took you. He was kind but he still got you in just the right spots making you crave more. He was attentive and made it enjoyable. Unlike your mysophobic captor, he cleaned you up. 

When you woke up, Dabi's cum was not dripping from your body like last night. You were worried you'd wake up to dry cum crusted on your skin, but he had cleaned you up. Not only had he cleaned you up from his ejaculation, but he had put clothes on you. Instead of being naked, you wore a long-sleeved pajama shirt and jogging pants. As you felt the bedding you noticed he had changed the sheets and blankets from your sinful acts of the previous night. You must've been really out of it because you hadn't woke up. Whether it was from him wearing you out from your activities, or the fact you hadn't felt so safe sleeping in such a long time remained a mystery. 

You pulled yourself out of bed, wincing slightly at the pain. It was more bearable than what Kai was capable of doing to you, and once you stopped thinking about the pain you barely noticed it. You couldn't lie that it hurt Dabi wasn't there when you woke up, but you knew that had someone caught Dabi in your bedroom like that it would cause hell for you both. Sure Dabi was supposed to watch you, but if he was seen leaving your room so early in his clothes from the day before it would arise suspicious questions. He would have to return to your room in the late morning when people could witness him coming to watch you in an innocent matter.

Despite that rational thinking, you couldn't help but wonder if he regretted last night at all. As you slipped on clean fresh clothes you couldn't help but wonder if he meant his words to you. You couldn't help but ponder on if he meant them with honesty. You carried such baggage and trouble with you, a relationship together would be so troublesome for him. 

A knock on the door broke you out of your reverie. You quickly pulled your shirt down as you spoke out through the closed door. 

"Who is it?"

"It's Dabi."

You tried to slow down the heart palpations you received as you briskly walked over to the door and opened it. Just the sound of his deep voice brought electricity to every fiber of your body but seeing him standing in the doorway made you smile. He came back. 

"Hey." 

Dabi stepped inside your room and closed the door behind him. He was quick to pull you against his chest, his warmth completely engulfing you. You were relishing in his touch so much you hadn't realized tears were beginning to escape your eyes and drip onto his shirt. You hadn't realized up until Dabi pulled away and tilted your head up with his hands. His long fingers hooked behind your ears and his warm thumbs pushed away your tears. 

"What's wrong? Did I accidentally hurt you?"

"No, no you didn't. I'm sorry. I just- I know why you had to leave... But I was worried you regretted it. Regretted last night."

Your tone hushed and got quiet as you mumbled out the last part. Due to your proximity, Dabi still heard it. He pulled you against his chest again. His hold was tighter, more protective but not hurtful.  

"Doll, I didn't regret it."

"Are you sure? I wouldn't blame you. I know what complications come with me and you're not obligated to stick around just because I gave myself to you."

"Baby doll, I don't intend to leave. I'm staying and gettin' both you and Eri out. I meant what I said last night."

Your head rested against Dabi's chest as you let out a sigh of relief. You breathed in Dabi's scent of smoke, cigarettes, and sulfur. They were bad smells, yet they brought comfort and safety to your stomach. You lifted your head off of his chest and plopped your lips onto his. It was such a normal action, but it was so foreign. It had been so long since you willingly incited such a romantic action. It was wrong to do it with Dabi when you were dating Kai, albeit forcefully, but it was so right. When you were pulled against his chest, in his arms, you couldn't care to give Kai a single thought. You couldn't be bothered to care if it was morally wrong or right to cheat on a relationship that was forced on you. 

Kai was wrong. All the words he'd spoken to you. All the phrases and hurtful words he spits out. Every time he said no one could love you. Every time he said he was the only one who could love you. He was wrong, it was all wrong. Dabi could love you. Dabi did love you.

"I was half asleep when I said it... but I meant what I said too." 

Dabi dipped his head down to your ear and gave it a light nibble before whispering roughly, leaving tickles down your eardrum and cochlea. 

"I really do love you. I know it's early to say that... But you make me feel things. I'm so closed off, but you make me want to tell you everything about myself."

"Then tell me. You know so much about me, you know about Eri and my mother... I wanna know more about you."

Dabi pulls out of your embrace but keeps a hand in yours. He lightly tugs you along with him to your bed. Once he sits down on the fluffy blankets, he pulls you on top of his lap.

"What do you want to know, doll?"

Your hands came up and played with Dabi's hair as you nestled your body against his. Eliciting a smile from Dabi, you lightly tugged and pulled, but not in the same manner as the night before. It was nice to be able to just touch and love without getting hurt. 

"Everything. I wanna know everything about you Dabi."

"God, I don't know where to start... I guess I'll start with my childhood."

Dabi wrapped his arms around your waist, one arm around your back and the other across your lap. His warm hands gripped your thigh and waist as he spoke out his words to you. Dabi had briefly mentioned before that his father was abusive, that his father was mean but he escaped out. You couldn't imagine Dabi as a child, he looked so rough with his scars and staples it was hard to imagine him in a setting where he was young, innocent, and fresh. 

"Back then I went by Touya."

"Touya... I like that. Why did you stop using it?"

"My father picked it out. He demanded that he pick it out because I was destined to surpass him, his opinion changed after I received my quirk. When I left home I wanted nothing to do with him. I dyed my hair- it was red then - and I changed my name."

"I bet you looked nice with red hair."

"Mm, I was quite the fox in high school, all the ladies loved me. I never gave them the time of day. It's not something I'm proud of, but I used them for a quick screw and then I'd forget their number."

Your chest tightened as his words registered in your brain. You knew Dabi had a bad reputation. He's a villain, some sort of bad merit comes with that. Hearing him say it was different. How could you be sure you weren't going to be one of those girls? Then again, Dabi hadn't hit you like Kai and if he had ill intent why would he be sitting here telling you about his past. Almost as if he noticed your hesitation in your brain, Dabi dug his fingers in you tighter and pulled you against him closer. 

"It's different with you. You like me even though I am a villain, you like me despite my scars and staples. Those girls in high school didn't want me, they wanted Touya. They wanted his status. They wanted his wealth. They wanted Touya, the eldest Todoroki sibling."

"Todoroki... Todoroki as in Endeavor, like the hero?"

"Enji Todoroki is my father, but he is not a hero." 

Before Kai closed you off from the world you'd seen Endeavor on the news a lot. As the number two hero, he made lots of appearances. With All Might's lack of recent activity, Endeavor began taking the spotlight more. Although he wasn't your favorite hero, you thought he was one of the greats. As Dabi gripped onto you tightly he made a face, a face of fear. He looked scared and nervous to be talking about the man who raised him. Endeavor saved people, but clearly, there was a dark presence behind the man. 

"He was obsessed with surpassing All Might. When my quirk showed up he was less than happy, he pressured my mom into having more kids, more weapons for him to use. My mother gave birth to my sister Fuyumi, my brother Natsuo, then finally she had Shouto."

It was like Dabi's breath hitched in his throat. He had a hard time letting the words out. He hadn't ever told anyone about his childhood. In school, he never allowed himself to be close to anyone, and he never uttered a word to a soul in the league. 

"Shouto had both of my parents quirks, and to Enji that was valuable. He separated my brother from me and my siblings, forced him to train to become a hero at a very young age. He abused my mother when she tried to stop him, physically and mentally. She couldn't bear to look at me, behind I looked so much like him."

You pulled Dabi's head against your neck and he was quick to bury himself inside it. He let out a few sobs, but they were muffled against your skin. His tears streamed down his face as he pulled back to finish talking.

"Eventually she snapped. She threw a pot of boiling water down Shouto's face, the side of him that looked like Enji. He threw her in a mental institution. I was twelve, and I had to help raise Fuyumi, Natsou, and Shouto. I was just twelve, and I had to cook dinners. I was twelve and I had to help Natsuo with his math homework. I was twelve and I watched Enji train my brother so hard he threw up, and when I tried to stop him I would get beat."

"Oh, Dabi..."

"When I turned seventeen he became tamer. He never beat Fuyumi, she was his soft spot, and he never beat Natsuo... I think his face reminded him too much of my mom. They stopped needing me, so I left. I faked my suicide and left. I still keep tabs on them. My sister is a teacher, still living at home to take care of him. Natsuo's in college, and Shouto's in the prestigious UA."

Dabi moved his hands from your thigh to your face. He cupped your cheeks and brought his lips to yours.

"I hate my father for the abuse. I hate him so much, but to stay in the game long enough for my siblings to stay safe, I had to play the game. I had to lay down and place my cheek up until they were old enough to stand up and defend themselves, old enough to not need me."

"You don't deserve that. No one deserves that."

"You don't deserve it, but I need you to do it. I need you to play Kai's game. Pretend that you want him. Pretend you can't get enough of him. Pretend your so in love. We need him to get laxer. The laxer he is, the easier--safer it'll be to get you and Eri out. To survive the games you gotta play the game."

You mirrored Dabi's actions by pressing your lips back against his. Your kisses held passion and love. Your hand came up and caressed his cheek softly, skimming lightly over his staples, unsure if it was a soft and sensitive or not.

"I'll do it Dabi. I'll hate every minute of it, but I'll do it. I'll stop fighting, give in, embrace it. I'll play Kai's game."

[nothorses]

(🔶) this could be long and have multiple parts so I put the emoji at the start so the parts don't get mixed up w other multi-ask things ||| So I don't think I've seen this talked about anywhere, but I'm pretty sure the way body positivity was taught to me prevented me from figuring out I was trans for at least a few years, and I think it could've been more if I hadn't somehow realized it last year,, (1/?)

I've always been fairly skinny so body positivity directed at me was always "oh you don't need makeup/big b00bs/things like that to be pretty! You're perfect the way you are you don't need any changes!" And. I don't know if either it was taught to me wrong or if I just misunderstood (I'm 90% sure I'm ND which would probably be part of why I misunderstood if I did. That and I was a Child) but by the time I hit puberty and started feeling bad about my body I told myself "that's stupid. Ur pretty and skinny, you have no reason to feel like this." (Keep in mind I didn't even know trans people existed yet)

I then proceeded to shove those feelings away as hard as I could (achieved by never thinking about my appearance more than I needed to- which wasn't much as I'm homeschooled since birth and pretty sheltered- and by avoiding mirrors as much as possible) and I somehow did that so well that I kinda forgot that I felt bad about my body to begin with (however it didn't make me feel better. I still felt awful and possibly even depressed, but now I didn't have a reason I could blame so I just felt like an ungrateful brat on top of it all)

And when I discovered that trans people are a thing I didn't even think that I might be a trans man because I thought I didn't have any dysphoria and the only reason I realized I wasn't cis when I did (sometime in 2019) was because of the thing I do where I go "I'm the main character of this media now" and daydream about that, and in that specific instance I had to pretend to be a boy (ouran highschool host club transed my gender /j) and was like "hey I actually vibe with this a lot??" And then was like "wait fuck I'm not a girl" and I think if I hadn't done that and felt like that it probably would've taken years- possibly even never- to realize I was trans...

I don't know how to end this but that's all I have to say for now I think, if I send asks again in the future the 🔶 is my anon sign off,,

(I cleaned up some of the numbers/formatting a lil for reading comprehension, I hope that’s alright!)

I think it’s very common, honestly, to confuse gender dysphoria with other kinds of body issues! I definitely confused my discomfort with my body with internalized fatphobia for the longest time, because while I’m sort of just an average weight, my mom made constant comments about it- never openly fatshaming, but nitpicky and faux-supportive in a way that made me feel incredibly self-conscious.

Body positivity is wonderful, and has helped me distinguish my feelings a little bit, but it’s definitely lacking in terms of like... helping folks identify the actual reasons for their discomfort. It seems to insist that all discomfort with one’s body is born of fatphobia, and the “just don’t feel bad about your body! It’s perfect how it is!” stuff can feel stifling when that isn’t necessarily the answer for the majority of people with gender dysphoria.

Where the answer to internalized fatphobia is to break it down and accept your body as it is, and the answer to thinking you’re ugly is to break that down and accept your body as it is, that doesn’t really work for a lot of gender dysphoria.

Those feelings aren’t because we hate everyone of our AGAB, or feel inferior because of our AGAB. They’re because we are not our AGAB. We have treatments with high success rates; we can change our bodies in order to feel more comfortable in them, and we should!

It’s good to learn to love your body as it is, if you can, but promoting the identification of gender dysphoria along with the rest of body positivity would be genuinely helpful to a lot of folks.

[ladymazzy]

One year on: the BLM event that divided a Gloucestershire town

I'm beyond furious and exasperated with the perpetuation of the lie that racism is a thing of the past. This woman is only 25, and her recounting her experiences of going to school as a Black girl in the West Country only around a decade ago speaks volumes

Some highlights from the article. (CW for racism and White Fragility™️):

Growing up, Khady Gueye was one of just a handful of black pupils at her school in the Forest of Dean in Gloucestershire. By the time she was a teenager, she was desperate to fit in and conform. And so when her nickname became “Nigs” – short for the N-word – Gueye didn’t challenge it.

Here, in the rural west of England, where she had been fed racist stereotypes of black people her whole life, she didn’t want to be labelled “the angry black girl” or the self-pitying minority who “couldn’t take a joke” or what was considered a “bit of light banter”.

And so it was, that on the last day of school where it is tradition for year 11s to scrawl goodbye messages on one another’s school shirts, Gueye took home a shirt covered with the N-word in giant block capital letters across the front. “Gonna Miss You Nigs” was written on the back next to jokes about golliwogs and messages of good luck.

Gueye was supposed to consider it an affectionate send-off; it was written by her own friends. It was 2012, the year Britain proudly celebrated its optimistic and diverse Olympic Games opening ceremony, or as Conservative MP Aidan Burley would call it, “multicultural crap”.

“I became complicit in allowing it to continue, by being ‘Ha ha! Good joke guys,’” says Gueye, flatly. “But when you grow up in an area that is so predominantly white and are already made to feel different, you just do your best to fit in. The ideal is don’t call out racism. Let it slide. You become so accustomed to it, it becomes your norm.”

Now 25 and on the verge of finishing her English degree at Manchester University, Gueye has become a local community organiser and is more visible than ever in the town where she was born and grew up.

“I don’t want my daughter to grow up with the same experience I did,” she says emphatically, over lunch at her local pub. “This is my home and it’s a lovely area to bring up a family in. I want my daughter to have a life where she is celebrated for who she is, not feel attacked or unwelcome because of her skin colour.”

But Gueye’s attempts to hold a small “celebration of BAME (black, Asian and minority ethnic) culture” sparked a furious backlash that, one year on, still reverberates throughout the small Gloucestershire town of Lydney.

...an online petition was set up to stop the event going ahead on the grounds that it was unsafe and high risk in the middle of a pandemic. Organiser Natasha Saunders wrote: “A mass gathering is a slap in the face to people who have been tirelessly shielding themselves, the elderly and loved ones from this virus.”

Anger, tension and outright abuse boiled over online as a counter-petition to support the event was organised. It got twice the number of signatures, leading Saunders to say that hers was more valid by claiming “90% of [signatories] are from Lydney, can you say yours was?” Later, she would make Eldridge-Tull gasp by posting: “He couldn’t breathe, now we can’t speak”, in a reference to Floyd’s murder by a police officer.

“We’re a happy community, we don’t really have an issue with racism,” said one middle-aged man, who didn’t want his name published, as he nursed a pint outside a local pub. “Outsiders bring their problems, but there’s not a lot of them here,” he said, echoing in politer terms a point that was made repeatedly to the Observer last week.

Last year, Gueye and Eldridge-Tull spent hours patiently replying to comments online in an attempt to explain the event and reassure people about it, but still received threats. Hundreds of screenshots of the abuse have been shared with the Observer. A typical missive read: “Fuck off. Not everyone agrees with black lives. I can’t say what I want on here coz I’ll be reported for racism. But I would bring back black slavery.” Gueye was repeatedly told to go back to where she came from if she didn’t like it and that she would be responsible for bringing harm to Lydney residents.

The pair’s standard response to those with genuine concerns about mass gatherings in a health pandemic, during a lockdown, was to keep explaining that social distancing was being strictly adhered to – two-metre grids were hand-chalked by Gueye and Eldridge-Tull on the site – and that PPE was being provided to anyone who didn’t have any.

“I think it speaks volumes that BAME people are still willing to protest for their human rights even though they are disproportionately affected by the pandemic,” wrote Gueye. “Maybe this should highlight the severity of the inequality in our society”.

....

When asked if she [deputy mayor, Tess Tremlett] accepted there were a lot of racist aspects to the abuse the organisers had endured, Tremlett replied: “I think some of the comments coming from supporters of the event were actually racist in themselves. They were called ‘white trash’, they were called Nazis and all sorts.”

But as anti-racist activists have spent the last year explaining, racism isn’t simply prejudice based on how one looks, but a system...[based] around a specific set of ideas – in this case, racist ones.

It is useful to explain why it is possible for white people to experience individual prejudice and unpleasant behaviour simply based on the colour of their skin but why it is inaccurate to call that “racism”. Being white does not mean one is more likely to be criminalised by the police, or that one is more likely to work in lower-paid frontline work or that one is more likely to be exposed to and die of Covid as a result.

In Gloucestershire, for instance, police statistics show that being black means you are nine times more likely to be stopped and searched by the police than you would if you were white.

The numbers are blankly disproportionate; there are just over 5,000 black people resident in the county compared with 570,000 white people. Last year, Gloucestershire council published evidence that jobseekers from minority ethnic groups had to send an average of 60% more applications to receive the same level of interest as white candidates. It’s not a conversation that Lydney, like much of the country, appears to have much interest in yet.

Tremlett, who has two decades of experience working in community engagement, explained that her sole reason for opposing the event was to be lawful. “Racism is the biggest insult anyone can say to me and I was called a racist by Khady’s team, whoever they are.” Was being called a racist worse than the actual racism that Gueye was continually facing in her everyday life? At this, Tremlett began to cry.

”You don’t understand,” she said, explaining that her daughter had been to three Indian weddings, that her builder was black, and that she had run an equalities panel for years as a councillor. Her experience – being called a racist, being abused online – when she felt she was doing the right thing, understandably made her defensive and upset. But it’s a difficult position for Gueye and Eldridge-Tull to deal with. Especially as she described Gueye as “aggressive and confrontational”.

Last year, Tremlett took the matter of the Forest of Dean’s BLM movement to local Conservative MP Mark Harper, who raised the matter in the House of Commons.

On 17 June, Harper, who may be best known as the immigration minister responsible for sending vans encouraging illegal immigrants to “go home” around parts of London, appeared to encourage an online pile-on against Eldridge-Tull, who had a tenth of his 30,000 followers, and demanded she apologise to the local community for tweeting: “The reaction to the BLM protest in Lydney has brought to light so much support, but so much hate. I love where I live, but I’m ashamed of my neighbours, and ashamed to be part of a community that has so widely endorsed and exacerbated racial hatred.”

....

When Gueye posted a picture of her school-leaver’s shirt on Instagram last year, one of her schoolfriends wrote that it was outrageous, and that she was impressed with everything Gueye was doing. “I was really happy she felt that but it was awkward,” says Gueye. “I messaged her back to say that she was one of the people who wrote those messages.” An embarrassed silence followed, but Gueye is hopeful and optimistic. “It’s still a positive sign.”