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#but a dude under 35? NO THANKS.
power-chords · 9 months
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I interviewed more than 50 people in relationships with age gaps from ten to 40 years and heard many variations of the same theme: Their relationships were deeply satisfying, and they saw their age differences either as irrelevant or as beneficial. Justin Lehmiller, a social psychologist and researcher at the Kinsey Institute, began studying age-gap relationships of ten years or more in the aughts. As with gay and interracial couples, he found that people in these relationships suffered because they felt judged. Societal unease around age gaps coincided with the feminist movements of the 20th century, as women entered the workforce and marriage was increasingly idealized as a partnership of equals. “The push for equality in all ways has led us to this moment,” Lehmiller said. When people see an age gap, they tend to imagine there is something intrinsically unequal about it — that the older partner wants someone they can control and the younger partner has daddy issues or is just out for money. Our judgments can also reflect our personal histories. If you worry men won’t find you desirable as you age, seeing DiCaprio with his latest model girlfriend might feel like confirmation of that. Sometimes we instinctively dislike what other people do just because it’s different from what we have chosen for ourselves. “People look for simple pieces of information where they can make a judgment without considering all the nuances in that situation,” said Lehmiller. But exploitation can happen in any relationship, regardless of the partners’ ages: “Just because somebody might be older and might have more money does not mean that they’re the one calling all the shots.”
And even if the older partner is calling all the shots, or some of them, that isn’t necessarily abuse. While Me Too made us all too aware of the way power dynamics can be and have been exploited, it didn’t do away with the fact that desire for these dynamics continues to exist. (Daddy, for instance, was the most-searched term on the porn site xHamster among women in America in 2018.) Sex-advice columnist Dan Savage, who is seven years older than his husband and 22 years older than his boyfriend, has found much of the conversation about age gaps to be fundamentally unrealistic about what human relationships are. “We are status-obsessed, power-obsessed primates always jockeying for control — socially and also in our interpersonal relationships,” he said. “There’s no interpersonal relationship without power differentials, without advantages or disadvantages on both sides. And if you want to correct for that, or eliminate that, you have to eliminate human relationships.”
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absdoll · 9 months
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drug dealer! ellie!! reader’s brother is a usual customer of hers but he’s busy or whatever so he asks reader to go pick it up 😈🤭
cw: car sex ♡ , kinda player!ellie , mentions of weed & smoking it , strap sucking (e!rev) , strap sitting (r!rec) <3 that’s it !
also songs are linked throughout this , just to add to the dealer!ellie hot car sex ambiance hehe ♡
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“dude, can you stop being such a fucking baby and just go?!” your brother hisses at you, frantically packing for his soccer match. “if i get home from this game and i don’t have anything to smoke, i’m beating your ass.” he rolls his eyes as he walks out of the door, “i’ll text you her address and let her know you’re coming, don’t fuck this up.”
ellie. ellie williams. ellie auburnettetattedsofuckinghot williams. the scrawny masc you’ve had a crush on since junior year of high school. you’ve maybe said 5 words to each other, in passing when she glares at you with her hazel eyes, making you squeeze your thighs together. “sup?” she’ll nonchalantly throw at you, not knowing you go home and ride your fingers to the sound of her voice.
your phone buzzes as you’re about to get in your car, an unknown number.
8:29pm “yooo, u on the way? i got somewhere to be”
“ohmyfuckinggod” you mutter under your breath. you manically type a response, not even thinking before pressing send.
8:31pm “yeah! be there soon sorry!”
8:34pm “all good cutie”
the butterflies in your stomach are swarming. as if you weren’t already nervous to face your going on 4 year crush, she just … flirted..? with you? it’ll be a miracle if you even survive the drive over there.
you pull up to an apartment complex, the 3rd floor balcony lit up with purple LED lights. your phone buzzes again.
8:59pm “this u?”
you look back up to the balcony, now seeing a lanky figure in a black tank top, grey sweatpants, batman socks, and a black beanie leaning over the railing. she nods her head up at you, and you can just hear her silky smooth voice saying “sup?”, but this time you can’t relieve the pressure between your legs.
9:00pm “do i come up there or??”
it’s been 5 minutes since you sent that text.
before you know it, there’s a subtle knock on ur passenger window. it’s dark outside, no streetlights in the parking lot, but you knew it was ellie. you unlock the door, and she dips her head in, slouching down into the seat next to you.
ellie smirks, eyeing you up and down, noticing the way your thighs erupt in goosebumps at her stare. you’re wearing black denim shorts and a black tube top, ellie’s eyes immediately falling to your collarbones.
“it’s $35” she says in a low tone, handing you a sealed ziploc bag.
your fingertips touch her hand as you grab it from her, causing you to choke on your words, “c-cool, thanks” you smile at her, feeling like your nerves are gonna make you pass out at any second.
ellie’s so calm and collected, watching you nervously fumble with your wallet trying to retrieve the cash your brother gave you. and god, she smells so good. her scent is intoxicating. vanilla mixed with musk and sugar and leather.
all of a sudden you feel her hand fall on your thigh. “nervous or something?” she teases. she grabs at the jelly flesh with one hand and pulls a joint out of her pocket with her right hand. you audibly let a big sigh fall from your mouth when her hand leaves to light her joint. ellie passes the burning paper to you, and you don’t smoke so you’re just holding it, contemplating to make yourself look cool by taking a puff. she’s adjusting her sweatpants — and that’s when you notice it. the thick bulge outlined in her pants, her eyes fluttering up to yours.
“wanna sit on it?” she chuckles, grabbing the joint from your hand. you can’t tell if she’s serious or not, so you just giggle back.
“open up.” ellie takes a long drag, yellowish smoke filling her mouth.
you’re confused, but in an effort to not embarrass yourself, you open your mouth. ellie’s face now inches away from yours, her eyes staring deep into your nervous gaze. she blows the thick smoke into your mouth, “inhale.” she whispers.
within a minute, your nerves have subsided and you feel lighter. ellie watches as you shift in your seat, putting your hands under your thighs. “are you cold? i’m cold. do you care if i turn the a/c off?” you ramble at ellie. she smirks, “first time smoking?”
you roll your eyes at her, the car quieter now without the buzz of the air conditioning. “you ever heard of a hotbox?” ellie says, shifting her body towards you. you shake your head ‘no’ and ellie just giggles. “c’mere” she motions for you to sit on her lap.
“w-what? why?” you spit out, embarrassed immediately.
“your eyes haven’t left my crotch since you noticed my cock that’s tucked in my pants. if you want it, jus’ c’mere.” she hits the joint again, blowing smoke towards your face.
she adjusts her seat, making room by her feet for you sit on the floor. you’re on your knees, looking up at her with reddened eyes.
“go ‘head, take it out” she lowly mutters to you, not even looking at you, she’s preoccupied by trying to connect her bluetooth to your car speaker.
your shaky hands move to the band of her sweatpants, sliding them down just enough for her purple, curved, silicone strap to plop out onto her lap.
her eyes dart to yours, grinning at the look of amazement on your face.
ellie uses one hand to wrap around the back of your neck, guiding your head closer to her crotch, the other hand twisting the volume nozzle up, speakers blaring. “open your mouth angel” she breathes out. as your lips part, she swipes her thumb across your bottom pout, slipping the tip of her cock towards the back of your throat. her hand moves up to grab a fistful of your hair, “gooooood, good job baby” she praises.
as ellie bobs your head up and down, you start moaning around her girth. “mmm you like this baby? like my cock deep in your throat? dirty girl.” you nod up at her, causing her to throw her head back.
ellie’s one hand atop your head, other hand typing on her dimly lit phone screen. “gotta make this quick, told you i had somewhere to be.” she throws her phone into the backseat, moving both hands to the back of your neck. her thrusts are quick and steady, grunts falling from her chapped lips.
“mm fuck, you’re drooling b-baby” she half chuckles and half stutters, the base of her strap striking her clit. “uuuuuhhh fuuuuuck” she breathes out.
“f-fuck, get on top.” ellie grabs you by your hair, hands moving to your hips, setting you down slowly on her long, wet member.
“o-ooh s-shit-uuhhhh” you moan out, the feeling of her thickness sliding deep inside you. her hands still groping your ass, slamming you up and down on her length. “bounce on it baby.” she grunts out as she pulls your tube top down, revealing your fatty tits.
ellie moves her hands to behind her head. watching as your boobs slap against your chest. your moans barely audible as the rap song fills the car, “lemme hear you, l-louder” she’s doing little to no work, her hips every once and awhile bucking up into you, which causes you to yelp and ellie lets out a chuckle.
“mm-ahh ellieeeeuuhhggh” “f-feels s’fucking gooduuuhhh” you’re practically screaming at this point, ellie’s eyes filled with darkness and lust, just watching as you fuck yourself on her cock.
your legs start to shake, inner thighs sore from relentlessly pounding your pussy on ellie’s strap. “need help baby?” ellie wraps her arms around your waist, lifting her hips up. she stops her movements, grinning as you whine from sudden lack of friction.
ellie stuffs her cock deep inside you, watching her girth move in and out of you, agonizingly slow. “m-more ellie p-please” you’re whining and she takes it as her cue to vigorously thrust up into you.
“ommm-mm-g-go-god-dduuuhhh” with every slam of ellie’s hips, your moans get louder.
you start cumming all over ellie’s cock, her dark red bush covered in your slick.
your high is dizzying, you open your eyes in a tired, fucked out state to see ellie, again, typing a text on her phone.
she pats your ass, “that was hot baby, but i gotta go.” as you slide yourself off her lap, falling into your seat and pulling your shorts back up, ellie goes to open the car door. “tell your brother you’ll pick up for him more often.” she tuts with a grin.
you feel your whole face start to burn as she slams the door and walks away.
did that just happen?
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a/n : hi hi ♡ i’m well aware this isn’t the best , i’ve mentioned i’m struggling to write lately & it shows ! i’m proud of the concept & whatnot , just bad writing gdjdhjsjs . anyways i need to bounce on ellie’s strap rn u don’t understand .
🌙 @whore4abby @enbesbians @hersweetheart 🌙
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justagalwhowrites · 1 year
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So this may be awkward but I saw your dbf fic and thought what about best friend's dad? Obviously it would either have to be a no outbreak au where Sarah is in her 20s or several years after the show when Ellie is an adult. Maybe the oc is a few years older than Ellie or Sarah or whichever you choose. Maybe I just haven't read enough TLOU smut but this is one I haven't seen and I would love to read something like this!
OMG Hi bestie!
So THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT WITH THIS??? You sent this in FOREVER ago but I've been so hung up on Lavender and Beskar Doll I just didn't get around to this.
Anyway, HERE'S THE ASK FINALLY! I hope you like it!
UPDATE A/N: This is now a full series (has been for a while but I just realized I never linked to the master list from here.) If you'd like to read more, you can find it here.
New in Town
When you move to Austin for work, your best friend Sarah recommends that you hang out with her dad, Joel, to get to know the area. Sarah just never mentioned the fact that her dad is just your type.
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Pairing: BFD!Joel Miller x Female Reader
Warnings: SMUT! Fingering, oral (male receiving), protected P in V sex. Legal age gap (Reader is 35 Joel is 47.) No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ only
Length: 5.6k (wtf is my problem)
You should have made Sarah text you a picture at the very least. 
The bar was starting to get busy and you’d realized about 15 minutes earlier that you had no fucking clue what your best friend’s dad looked like. 
“You’re sure it’s not weird that I hang out with your dad?” You asked Sarah the morning you left town. 
“It’s not weird,” she waved you off, her curls bouncing. “Promise. He’s not like… an old dad. He’s fun. You get along with me so you’ll get along with him. It’s at least something so you’re not stuck in Austin not knowing anybody.” 
“Yeah,” you nodded and then sighed, looking at your coffee. One last cup of the good stuff in Seattle before your flight in a few hours. 
There was a knot in your stomach at the thought of leaving, now that it was actually here. You’d been in Seattle for two years now after moving here for work. Sarah was the only other woman in your department - not to mention the only other person under 40. She might have been 10 years younger than you but the two of you had become fast friends. She’d been there for a year - she’d started fresh out of college - when you came aboard and was kind enough to let you in on the office politics. 
“So fucking glad to have another girl around here,” she said after you’d been there about two weeks, her arm looped through yours as you walked to a restaurant down the street from your office for lunch. “Lunch just isn’t as good with old dudes…” 
Making friends outside of the office was just as awkward as you remembered and it wasn’t long before you and Sarah were hanging out all the time outside of work, too. She was probably going to be the thing you missed most about Seattle. 
But the promise of a big promotion - setting up your own team at the new branch of your firm in Austin - was too good to pass up. 
“Hey,” she put her hand on your wrist from across the small table. “You’re going to kill it down there. Just remember to demand me when the time comes to add a junior copywriter.” 
“Well, simply no one else will do,” you smiled a little. She laughed. 
You finished your coffee and Sarah dropped you off at the airport - your office paying to ship all your things down - and you flew off to your new life in Texas. 
After a week of settling in, you finally caved and reached out to Sarah’s dad. She told you to just text him and you kind of hoped he wouldn’t respond. Once the ball was in his court, you’d be off the hook. If he never responded and you never met the guy, Sarah could hardly hold it against you. 
“Hi! Is this Joel Miller?” You texted originally, following it up with your name and - just in case Sarah hadn’t bothered to tell him you were going to be texting - some indication that you weren’t a total stranger. “I just moved to town and Sarah told me to text you.” 
“There,” you said to yourself, taking a sip of wine as you sat back on your couch. “Done. Not my problem any….” 
Your phone lit up on your coffee table and you groaned. Of course he texted back. Of course he texted back fucking immediately. 
“Hi,” he said. “Sarah mentioned you might text. Said you might need someone to show you around town. Want to grab a drink later this week?” 
You rapped your fingers against the globe of your glass, the wine lush and red. 
“Sure,” you said. “I don’t start work until next week, so just let me know when and where works for you and I’ll be there!” 
You made plans to meet up two days later. You’d showed up a few minutes early, wanting to get the lay of the land before you met a stranger in a bar. 
Joel, it seemed, was a bit late. You kept looking up at the door, waiting to see someone who looked something like Sarah walk in. But so far, there wasn’t anyone who fit the bill. A few guys who looked like they were UT students deciding to check out something further from campus, four guys who who definitely had just gotten off motorcycles, one man who was almost stupid hot and looked about 10 years too young to be Sarah’s dad and a guy about your age with a date. 
You glanced at your phone. 9:13. At what point did you call it? Maybe try to pick up the hot guy who seemed to be hovering on his own at the bar. You hadn’t gotten laid in a while and you’d at least done your hair and makeup, even if you hadn’t tried to look like you were looking for a hookup. 
Your phone screen hadn’t fully dimmed yet when it lit up bright, vibrating with Joel’s name on the caller ID. You sighed and answered. 
“Hello?” You pressed your free hand against your ear, trying to drown out the sound of the bar behind you, but it sounded noisy on his end, too. 
“Hi,” he said, a bit of a Texas twang in his voice. “Just wanted to make sure you were still plannin’ on comin’ out tonight…” 
“Yeah,” you laughed a little. “I was wondering the same about you, I’m here…” 
“Where?” He said. “Don’t see you…” 
You started looking around then, too, looking at every face at every table around you before you settled on… the stupid hot guy at the bar. 
Who looked too young to have a kid Sarah’s age. 
Who had a phone pressed to his ear. 
Who was now staring at you. 
You raised a hand and smiled awkwardly, giving him a small wave. 
He looked surprised for a moment before hanging up his phone, grabbing his beer from the bar, and heading for your table. 
“I’m so sorry,” he said, setting his drink down across from you and taking his seat. “I didn’t mean to keep you waitin’, I was just expecting someone Sarah’s age…” His eyes went wide for a second. “Not that you look old or anythin’, just… Not what I was expecting.” 
“Yeah, Sarah was the baby of the Seattle office,” you smiled a little. “She’s the best though. Thank God for her, I’d have been so bored there without her.” 
“Yeah,” he smiled and nodded. “She is the best.” 
Up close, Joel was still stupid hot. Uncomfortably hot. It was not fair how hot he was for him to be off limits because he was your best friend’s dad. His hair was dark and a little shaggy and you had to fight the urge to brush an unruly curl back from his brow. His eyes were the warmest brown with a light to them that made you want to just stare at him for a while. His crooked smile with one dimple, his slightly patchy beard, his unreasonably sculpted arms for a man who had to have at least a decade on you unless he was a teenager when Sarah was born. If you hadn’t met him this way, you’d be trying to get him home for at least a one night stand. But he was your best friend’s dad. Even if he made your core tighten and heat pool around your hips. 
It turned out, you and Joel had more in common than you’d expected. You liked the same music and he knew some good live music spots in town. You were both into hiking - and both agreed that the views in this part of the country would be kind of lacking compared to the Pacific Northwest. You both liked trying to find the spiciest food in town and eating it as a matter of principle. 
Of course, you hadn’t spent much time with men the age you THOUGHT Joel was going to be. Your only experience with men in their 50s was at work and that usually involved showing them how to save a word document as a PDF. You’d gone into this expecting to sit awkwardly with the guy for about an hour before going your separate ways. But you were pretty sure he was in his mid 40s, the same age as a lot of the guys you’d gone out with back in Seattle, and the more drinks you had the harder it was to remember that you weren’t on a date. You were hanging out with your best friend’s dad. She probably had to beg him to meet up with you, he probably had a girlfriend he’d much rather be spending time with on a Friday night instead of his daughter’s friend who was new in town. 
But he seemed happy enough to stay for hours. The two of you were laughing over a particularly bad movie you’d somehow both seen - Giant Spider Invasion - when the bar announced last call. 
“Shit,” Joel looked at his watch, clamping his hand over it after a second. “Didn’t realize how late it got. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take up your whole damn night…” 
“No, I’m sorry,” you waved him off, reaching for your phone for the first time in hours to try and order an Uber. “I’m sure you’ve got better things to do than entertain me.” 
“Not exactly,” he half smiled at you. That fucking dimple. “Don’t really got a thirvin’ social life. I get the feeling this arrangement was as much for me as it was you, knowin’ Sarah.” 
“She’s cunning, that one,” you said, putting in your destination address. You groaned. “Shit!”
“What?” Joel asked. 
“Surge pricing,” you sighed. “Come ON, it’s almost 2 a.m., it can’t be that busy…” 
“It’s homecomin’ weekend at the school,” he shrugged. “Everyone’s in town drinking.” 
“That’ll do it,” you sighed, bracing yourself to spend almost $100 on a car ride home. 
“I can give you a ride,” he said. You looked up from your phone, frowning. “I’m good to drive.”
“I don’t want to put you out,” you said, about to push the button anyway. 
“You’re not,” he said. “Trust me.” 
*** 
Joel was very nearly in over his head with you. 
Every part of him was practically screaming “mistake, mistake, mistake, you are a big fucking mistake!” 
You were Sarah’s best friend. 
You were more than a decade younger than him. 
You were starting a new job and a new life and he really shouldn’t be trying to date someone he’d just hold back. 
YOU WERE SARAH’S BEST FRIEND. 
But none of that seemed to matter. He was damn near ready to kiss whatever asshole at Uber came up with surge pricing. He’d never been happier for an excuse to give someone a ride home. 
It had been years - at least - since he’d felt like this about anyone. He’d known you for hours, no time at all, but it felt like years. Like he could say anything to you and you’d understand it. You were obviously smart, so fucking smart. After talking about movies with you for five minutes he was half convinced you saw an entirely different movie than he had, talking about allegories and symbolism and holding onto little lines he wasn’t sure anyone else would notice or think about twice. He wanted to see if you’d let him get to know you that way, if you’d have any interest in trying to know him that way. Fuck, he wanted to know you.
It didn’t help that he’d spotted you the second he was in the bar, absently turning your glass in your fingers, looking at one of the University of Texas themed Bud Light posters on the wall like you were examining it, your eyebrows drawn together, your mind clearly somewhere else entirely. You were fucking gorgeous. Gorgeous in a way that it was a problem, it was distracting, it made him not want to think about or look at or consider anything else. It took conscious effort to not stare at you. When he hadn’t known who you were, he’d been praying Sarah’s friend would stand him up so he could go talk to you. Fuck, he wanted to talk to you. 
And then you answered the phone. 
And you were Sarah’s best friend. 
Fuck.
“You settlin’ in OK and all?” He asked after you gave him your address and he programmed it into Google Maps. 
“Mostly,” you nodded. “It’d be better if I could actually get a maintenance guy to come out to my place but…” 
Joel frowned. 
“What’s goin’ on?” 
“The garbage disposal has a hell of a leak,” you sighed. “I don’t know shit about plumbing so I’m afraid to try to fix it on my own. And the ceiling fan in my bedroom seems like it’s trying break out from its drywall prison whenever I turn it on so that’s been pretty useless. Maintenance keeps saying they’ll come by but they never do. I don’t think I’ll stay in that place longer than a year, this is what I get for apartment hunting from across the country.” 
“I could look at it for you,” Joel shrugged before he was smart enough to stop himself. 
“No,” you laughed and shook your head. “You’ve done enough for me as it is, I cannot ask you…” 
“You didn’t ask, I offered,” he said. “I’m a contractor, my area of expertise is fixin’ shit shoddy builders fucked up. You have plans tomorrow? I can come by, take a look.” 
Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid. That’s what he was. Fucking stupid. 
“Tomorrow would be great, actually,” you said. “I’m just about unpacked but I have a whole box of under the sink kitchen stuff that’s still sitting on my table and driving me insane. But you’re sure I’m not putting you out? I swear, it’s nothing that urgent, I just need to light a fire under management’s ass…” 
“Not puttin’ me out,” he smiled a little at the idea of that. Fuck, you were doing him a favor, giving him an excuse to see you again. 
Stupid. 
Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid STUPID. 
SARAH’S. BEST. FRIEND. 
“Early afternoon OK?” He asked. “Unless you gotta be somewhere…” 
“Yeah, so far my vibrant social life here includes you and the barista down the street who now knows I prefer my lattes skim,” you laughed. “I’ll be around, come over whenever works for you. I hugely appreciate it, you have no idea.” 
He watched you go into your apartment when he dropped you off, a townhouse that had definitely been built in the last five years. He sighed and shook his head. Shoddy fucking craftsmanship, things breaking that fast. He’d help you find a decent place when your lease was up. 
As a friend. 
Because he could be friends with you. That would be fine. Encouraged by his meddling but well-meaning daughter who’d arranged this to begin with. Friends help friends apartment hunt. He could be your friend. 
He fucked his hand before he passed out, trying to think of anything besides grabbing you and kissing you at the bar as he did. 
“Hey Dad! How’d it go last night?” 
His eyes were still bleary as he read the text from his daughter the next morning. 
“Hey Baby Girl,” he wrote back, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. How was it already 10 a.m.? How was Sarah a morning person? She sure as shit didn’t get that from him. “Went fine. Your friend seems nice.” 
She wrote back immediately. 
“She’s the BEST. Seriously. Give her like 5 minutes and she’s going to show you the best food in town, she always found the coolest restaurants up here, places no one else from the office even knew existed.” 
Joel smiled a little at that. He’d heard a lot about you over the last few years, now that he thought about it. He wasn’t big on social media so he only ever saw pictures Sarah texted him - usually a selfie in front of some tourist attraction as she stuck her tongue out at him - so he’d never had a face to put to the stories. But you’d become an integral part of her life in Seattle. 
You’d started as a “cool new coworker.” Then you got a name. And then you just became a “we.” “We went to this awesome new restaurant.” “We checked out this concert last night.” “We decided to go up the Space Needle because screw it, why not be a tourist in your own city sometimes?” He never needed to ask who she meant, he knew she was talking about you. 
He just hadn’t known it was you. 
Which was another reason this was stupid. He could not even consider doing something with you, even just in his head, not when you were that close with his daughter. 
“You guys going to hang out again?” She asked. “I think you’d be friends!” 
Joel ground his teeth for a second. 
“Don’t need you to find me friends just because Uncle Tommy got married.” 
Sarah replied right away. 
“Well if you did it yourself maybe I wouldn’t,” she said. “And she needs friends, too. Plus this is really all for my benefit, if she can swing me coming to the new Austin office and y’all are friends, we can all just hang out together. Way easier to coordinate my schedule.” 
Joel laughed a little. 
“Going to help her with something at her apartment today,” he sent back. “We’ll see if she wants me around after that.” 
Joel managed to keep from going to your house the second he was dressed. This wasn’t a problem he’d had since he was a fucking teenager, obsessed with some girl from his bio class. He was looking at his watch every five minutes, hoping it was reasonable to leave his house and go to yours. 
He called it at 11:45. He figured he’d bring you lunch. You said you liked spicy food - the spicier the better - and if your garbage disposal was leaking, chances are you couldn’t cook much. You’d need to eat something. It was the polite thing to do, he reasoned. 
Joel went to his favorite taco truck and got a little bit of almost everything. It was way too much food for two people but fuck it, he didn’t care. As long as it was something you’d like, he really didn’t give a shit. 
You were in some kind of matching not quite sweatsuit when you opened the door, the tan fabric looking so fucking soft. 
“Hey!” You smiled broadly, like him coming over made your day. You looked at your phone screen. “Damn you really mean early afternoon don’t you?” 
He glanced at his watch. 12:23. 
“Figured you could use some lunch,” he held up the takeout bag. “Didn’t think you were able to cook much, disposal outta commission…” 
“Are you really bringing me food when you came over to do me a favor?” You asked, brows raised. He shrugged. “They weren’t kidding about that whole southern gentleman thing, were they?” 
“Gotta give you pretty things some reason to put up with us,” he smiled a little. You smiled back and held the door open for him. 
Your place was sparsely decorated but comfortable and it looked like you were just about unpacked. Joel set the bag of tacos on the small table off your kitchen and you staked your claim to the spiciest one. 
“If it’s too hot for you, no shame in tappin’ out,” he teased, unwrapping his own taco. 
“I eat men with low spice tolerance for breakfast,” you waved him off. “This’ll be cake.” 
You took a bite and chewed for a second before your eyes went wide. Joel tried not to laugh at you. 
“Holy shit,” you held a hand in front of your full mouth as you spoke, your eyes watering. “That’s so hot! How the fuck…” 
“Yeah, you northerners don’t know what you’re dealin’ with,” Joel smirked. “Welcome to the big leagues.” 
“Oh, it’s on now, Miller,” you said, wincing a little. “I’ve got this, you have no idea…” 
He laughed but you finished the taco, eyes watering and face sweating, the whole way. 
“Alright, think you’ve earned some handyman work,” he smiled a little. You chugged water, somehow managing to look good as you did. “Kitchen sink right?” 
“Yeah,” you nodded. “Run the water for longer than 30 seconds and it leaks like crazy…” 
He did as you said, opening the cabinet below. You had a pot inside to catch any stray water. He turned the faucet on and after less than a minute, water was gushing out from the pipe leading down to the disposal. He shut it off. 
“Good news is, it ain’t the disposal itself,” he said, putting his tools down beside the cabinet. “Looks like they just replaced it and did a shit job setting it up…” 
He got down on the ground, lying down so his upper body was in the cabinet just as you came and perched on the counter nearby, watching him closely. 
“Let me know what I can do to help,” you said. “I feel bad, you coming over, bringing me food, fixing my shit…” 
“Don’t,” he said, frowning up at the plumbing. “Got me outta my house… can you hand me the wrench that’s in the lower part of the tool kit, the adjustable one?” 
He heard you slide off the counter to the floor and rifle through his tools before handing him the wrench, your fingertips brushing his when you did. His heart sped up. Fuck this was stupid. 
You settled in on the floor near him, near enough that he’d feel your leg brush his when he adjusted while he worked. You asked him about his favorite band and he asked you about yours. About favorite foods. About the one place on Earth you’d go if money and time were no object. 
“Alright, think I’ve got it,” he said. “Do me a favor, turn the water on…” 
“You sure?” You asked, a frown in your voice. “Don’t you want to sit up first?” 
“I’m confident,” he smiled a little. 
“Alright, turning it on now.” 
And his confidence was correct. 
For a minute. 
And then it was like the floodgates opened and Joel was suddenly soaked. 
“Cut it!” 
You scrambled to obey as he got out from under the sink, dripping wet, shirt soaked. 
“Shit,” he looked down at himself. 
“I am so sorry!” Your hands were over your mouth, eyes wide. “One minute, let me grab you a towel…” 
You ran down the hall and came back with a small pile of towels handing them to him one by one. He started with himself and then put towels down below the sink. 
“I’m so sorry, Joel,” your eyes were so wide and earnest. 
“Not your fault,” he said, getting up, feeling like more than a bit of an idiot. “Your maintenance people just fucked something up big time…” 
“I have a washer and dryer,” you said quickly. “Let me wash that for you…” 
“Thanks,” he said and he peeled off the wet shirt and handed it to you. “Appreciate it…” 
He was so busy trying not to look at you that he hadn’t realized that you were staring at him, looking up him slowly, your lower lip in your teeth. Like you were interested in him, too. Like you were trying to keep your hands to yourself, too. 
Your eyes met his. This was stupid, this was very very stupid. You were standing close to him, so fucking close to him. 
“Joel,” you breathed. 
He was kissing you before he could talk himself out of it. 
*** 
You weren’t sure if he kissed you or you kissed him but you didn’t really care because fuck, he was touching you. Your arms went around his neck and his hands went to your hips, pulling your body flush against his as he all but devoured you. 
Like he’d done nothing but think of this since the night before, too. 
You were up for an hour after you got home, cursing your best friend for having such a hot dad and trying to not think about what would have happened if you’d dragged him into your apartment when he dropped you off as you ran your vibrator over your needy clit. 
Because how could you face Sarah if you’d fucked yourself to the thought of her dad? 
But you weren’t worrying about that now. 
Instead, you were leading Joel blindly through your apartment, to your bedroom. Your fingers tangled in his hair - wet from the explosive leak in your sink - as you kissed him. You pulled him against you as you sat back on your bed, crawling back toward the middle of it and tugging him along with you so he was hovering over you. 
“You sure…” he began but you nodded so fast that he didn’t even finish asking, just smiling for a second before kissing you again. 
His tongue was insistent inside your mouth, like he was trying to reach every part of you, but you liked it. The hot, aching need gathering in you liked it, liked that he was demanding and hungry for you to the point that, when his tongue slid back behind his own teeth it’s because he wanted to bite your lip with a growl. 
You squirmed out of the soft wrap that was covering your arms and he pulled at your tank top, peeling it away from you and leaving you in just your lacy bralette you liked to wear before you really got dressed for the day. His hand cupped your breast, palm brushing your firm nipple, and you moaned. Joel slipped his hand into the lace and touched the bare skin below and you involuntarily thrust your hips up toward him. He smiled against your mouth at that. 
“So eager,” he said, teasing. 
“We both have way too much on,” you panted against him. 
“Let me help you with that,” he slid his fingers below the band of the bralette and tugged it up and over your head, leaving you naked from the waist up. “Jesus Christ…” 
“What?” You asked, breathless. 
“And I thought you were gorgeous before,” his eyes went over you slowly, tracing the edges of you. “Fucking hell…” 
You smiled and arched into kissing him again, fumbling with the button and zipper on his jeans as you did. When you got his pants open, you slipped your hand inside his underwear, finding his thick, hard cock and stroking him. It was gentle at first, getting a feel for him and fuck he was hard as steel below your touch. He was also easily the biggest cock you’d ever held, so thick and long you knew you were going to be feeling him for hours after you were done. 
Not that you minded. You wanted nothing more than to walk around with a reminder of him inside you for a while. 
Joel’s hands ran over you until he reached your pants and underwear. He pulled them off together, pausing just before your panties would be so far down that they would expose your dripping, aching slit. He pulled his lips from you. 
“This really what you want?” He asked quietly, his eyes searching yours. 
“I’ve been wanting this since last night,” you smiled a little at him. 
“Fuck, I was hopin’ you’d say that.” 
He pulled what remained of your clothes off and cast it aside, nudging you down so you were flat on the bed. He ran his finger over your slit, dipping into you just enough to make your entrance try to grip him but not enough that it gave your body something to hold. You moaned. 
“Don’t worry, beautiful,” he pressed his finger against your clit, rubbing in circles, making you moan. “Gonna take real good care of you…” 
He trailed his finger back down and sank it into you as his thumb pressed against your clit, making your body go tight around him. You rocked your hips against him and arched your back and you heard the smile in his voice as your hands flew to your comforter, knotting in the fabric there. 
“There you go,” he said softly, kissing over your jaw to your throat, nipping and sucking you as he went. “Fuck you’re tight, need you to relax and come for me so I can get inside you…” 
He added another finger, hooking them up into you, pressing into your inner walls and making you get tense and tight before you came hard around him, pussy throbbing so hard it almost hurt. 
“You’re gonna feel so goddamn good,” he groaned as he slid his fingers from you. He hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his underwear and pulled them down with his jeans before he stroked himself, his fingers still slick with you as he did. 
“One sec,” you managed to find your voice and you stretched back to reach into your nightstand and grabbed a box of condoms. You needed to open it and pull one foil packet apart from the rest. “Sorry, haven’t needed one of these in a bit…” 
“Won’t hear me arguin’,” he half smiled at you. Fuck, that fucking dimple. You opened the condom and slid it on his tip, watching his chest heave as you did. You looked up at him through your eyelashes as you took his covered tip in your mouth, wrapping your lips around him and using them to unroll the condom the rest of the way onto his thick, hard length. “Fuck, beautiful, tryin’ to rush me through this?” 
You just sucked him for a moment, his head lodged at the back of your throat as you started to work his shaft with your mouth. His hand flew to your head, fingers twisting in your hair, as you went. He moaned as your tongue pressed against the underside of him before curling around his shaft. His grip on your hair tightened and you picked up the pace, all but choking yourself on his cock, not able to help yourself, until he pulled you back off him sharply, abruptly. 
“Really don’t want things to be over that fast,” he panted, tilting his head back toward the ceiling for a moment. “Fucking hell you’re good at that…” 
You smirked a little and he pushed you back down onto the bed before lining his cock up with your entrance. He paused and you moaned, rocking your hips against him, your whole body feeling like a spring that was coiled a bit too tight. His hands splayed wide over your thighs for a moment before sliding over your stomach, your breasts, back down again. 
“Still want this?” He asked, voice needy. 
“Want you,” you panted, nodding. “Need you, need you inside me…” 
“Good,” he said, his large hands spread on your thighs, holding you open for him, watching where he was entering you as his cock split you open. He moaned, panting for breath. “Fuck, gonna be addicted to you, just fuckin’ know it…” 
You pressed your hips up into him as he filled you totally, collapsing onto you as his hips met yours. He stilled in you, giving you a moment to adjust to the delicious stretch of him inside you. He was big enough that - if you hadn’t been so desperate for him, if he hadn’t already made you come once - you were sure that it would feel like he was breaking you in two. Like this, though, it was all pleasure with a hint of pain, just enough to make you feel so fucking full you thought you might burst with it. 
He started slowly but forcefully, dragging his cock back so only his head was inside you, his pace so slow that you felt his head on every ridge inside you. But he thrust himself back into you hard, like he couldn’t bear not feeling you again immediately, like being without you was almost painful. 
But he increased his pace, thrusting himself deep into you and pulling back before changing again, more rocking his hips down into you than fully thrusting into you. It meant he kept almost constant pressure on your clit, that the head of him was all but permanently against the spot inside that you immediately sought out whenever you used your vibrator. Your back arched into him and your pussy was so tight around him you were certain you couldn’t get any more wanting. 
“Fuck, need to feel you come while I’m inside you,” he managed, sliding his arms below you to press your bare chest against him. “Please, Beautiful, fuck, please come for me…” 
“Joel!” You cried out his name as you came around him and he fucked into you for another moment before you felt him throb inside as he spilled into the condom. 
He collapsed on top of you, panting for breath and you ran your hands over his broad back. After a minute, he kissed you gently and pulled himself from your wrung out body and lying beside you. 
“So,” he was still short of breath. “Got anythin’ around here I can come by and fix tomorrow?” 
You laughed a little, trying not to think of the fact that you’d just fucked your best friend’s dad. Trying not to think of the fact that there was no way this could be a one time thing. 
“Oh, I’m sure I can think of something,” you said. “I’m sure I can think of a lot of things.” 
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billthedrake · 10 months
Text
I was inspired by the latest hot story by @maturedadsandmen. He gave me the blessing to write a riff on the premise. It started out as a prequel but became something else. Thanks to him for the inspiration and for the permission to let me adapt his idea.
WHAT HAPPENS IN FRANKFURT
"So, Trent..." I said as we settled into the business-class seats on the transatlantic leg of our flight. "Whadya have to promise Becky to get to come for a week?"
My friend and golf buddy shrugged. He's a big guy, 6'5", real muscular with a good deal of middle aged padding on his thick, ex-jock beef. Good thing I had scored the plush seats with my miles, because I couldn't imagine the poor guy squeezing into economy. Even now in his jeans and button-down shirt, the sight of him got me going. From the twinkle in his eyes, I could tell he was maybe feeling the same about me.
"It's not a week," he corrected.
"Pretty close," I smiled. We were flying to Frankfurt for the Chiefs-Dolphins game, but tacking on a few days in Bavaria for the typical guy-trip stuff. Beer halls and outdoors time. Stuff our wives had no interest in.
"I didn't have to promise Becky anything... what, is that something Heather expects?" he asked with genuine surprise.
I nodded. "Fuck yeah, that's something she expects," I said. "She's already planning the Napa wine trip."
Trent smiled. He had a personality that was laid back almost to the point of being taciturn, so I always found him especially handsome when he smiled.
Yeah, me and Trent have a thing. A sexual connection, an affair, whatever you want to call it. Sometimes we talk about it, sometimes we sweep the complications under the rug. But it had been a solid six months since our last time having sex and with the prospect of this trip together for six days, there was just this unspoken sexual tension between us. SOMETHING was gonna happen, all right.
"Didn't she just do that for one of her girls trips?" my friend chuckled.
Our wives got along OK but weren't close friends outside of my and Trent's bond. I was always surprised that Trent was able to keep up with my wife's doings.
"Oh yeah," I said. "Only she wants to go back with just me. You know, do something romantic. I don't even wanna know how much the cases of wine are gonna set me back."
That got a belly laugh out of my buddy. It was a running joke between us. He was the hunky ex-football player who ran his own construction company. I was the number-crunching corporate exec who admittedly had the MUCH deeper bisexual streak, to the point I carried around a lot of what-ifs in my middle age. But I was the one who was more bro-ish. Maybe I wasn't quite the sexist asshole I played up, but Trent gave me some real eye rolls from time to time.
"You can afford it, buddy," he chastised me. "And a lot fucking more."
I started to reply but he held up a finger in warning. "Don't you even pull that 'happy wife, happy life' BS." He was smirking.
"Dude... you gonna bust my balls this whole trip?"
I saw a naughty look sweep across my buddys masculine, handsome face as he leaned. "Whaddya think, Josh?"
I bit my lip and did as casual a crotch adjustment as I could. Trent had given me a full-on boner.
I knew Trent was chubbed too. It had been THAT long since we'd fooled around. Sometimes it was lack of opportunity, but my buddy likes to put the breaks on a lot. Probably for the best, since I had zero self-control, around him or in general. When I was 35 I had to vow never to go to Vegas again. This affair had a different kind of high stakes, but it felt like an extension of my addictive personality.
But my hunky buddy was pulling back now, putting in his earbud and pulling up his iPad to watch some shows he'd downloaded.
I had a book. Some stupid spy novel that let me get my mind off of work. Trent teased me for bringing the office with me, and on the first leg I'd caught up on a bunch of emails. I'd have more stuff to do in Germany, but I'd worry about that later. Trent told me I should set boundaries with my company, but hell it was my work travel that was getting us these business class seats and the hotel rooms on points and I'd probably cover the majority of our meals, too...
I took a breath and paused. I had this dickish thing where I'd enjoy treating people in my life - spoiling my wife or picking up the tab with my buddies - then I'd get resentful or controlling. I was lucky to have a travel buddy like Trent. Even if we didn't suck or fuck at all this next week. Though God knows I hope we did.
I put on my noise-canceling headphones and picked up my book.
****
"You gentlemen here for the game?" the concierge asked.
I'd booked us at a chain hotel in the old city. The guy at the desk was in the typical hotel uniform - vest and tie - and I was immediately attracted to him. Early 30s I'd guess, light brown hair, almost boyish in his handsome looks, though he had the kind of athletic build that comes with doing sports, maybe soccer, or rock climbing or something. I had a soft spot for German guys, I'll admit. They always seemed to have that boy next door thing going on, with a naughty side beneath.
Or maybe it was just the slightly clipped, more formal accent.
"Yes, sir," Trent said. "You got a lot of folks in town for it, I suppose." It was a trip to see my not-so-chatty buddy get all Midwest now that he was abroad.
I couldn't tell if the desk man was trying to humor us, but he replied back to Trent's small talk with a smile. "It seems so, yes."
I felt like I had to pull Trent away. He was asking for restaurant and bar recommendations, asking for the guy's first name, the whole works.
"What?" he asked, not quite annoyed as I shook my head in the elevator.
"Dude, you don't know how much I'm looking forward to a hot shower. Wash some of that jet lag off."
He seemed contrite. "You should have told me buddy. I honestly didn't think we'd get into the room early." It was nearly noon, but we were ahead of check-in time a little.
"I guess it'll be good to stretch the legs some this afternoon, get in some sun and fresh air?"
He nodded. "Looks like a nice day."
We rolled our luggage down to our rooms and entered the clean but soulless business hotel room.
"You go first," he said. "I'm gonna call Becky and let her know we're here." I knew from Trent's account that his wife was an early riser, a yoga devotee who got an early start on her day. I'd text Heather in a bit and call her later.
"Yep," I said, already pulling off my sweatshirt and kicking off my sneakers.
The shower felt good. No, it felt great. I could have stood under for much longer, but I didn't want to hold things up. I rinsed the shampoo out of my hair and turned off the water. I was just as quick drying off and putting product in my hair. I took one look in the mirror. Not so bad for 46, I thought. I'd gotten into Crossfit lately and tried to eat clean, saving beer and junk food for game days or the nineteenth hole with the guys. I was shorter than Trent, 5'9" and some, even if I rounded up to 5'10" when I told people my height. Everything was looking pretty sculpted and hard and compact, and the thick blond fur on my torso was groomed and trimmed.
"You fucking narcissist," I thought. I wrapped the towel around my waist and opened the door, letting the steam out.
"Damn, that felt nice," I said to Trent. He was waiting for me, stripped down to his boxer briefs. It took me a second to realize what was in his hand, but it was a portable enema kit.
"I know you wanna hit the sights, buddy... but maybe I can clean out for you, first?" he asked. An excited glint in his eye but also some embarrassment. It had taken some convincing to get my hunky friend to bottom for me and even more sweet talking to get him to do a deeper prep. But it turns out Trent loved getting his ass eaten out, and he knew I'd go at it more freely and fervently if he was squeaky clean.
"God yes," I said. "I guess vacation starts for real, huh?" I said. Already I was chubbing beneath the towel.
He nodded with a grin, clearly excited by how easily I got turned on.
I let him do his thing while I texted Heather and answered a couple of work emails. I set down my phone and took off my towel, hanging it up in the closet. I pulled down the sheets on one of the double beds. My dick wasn't hard at first but as I lay down naked, I thought of Trent's hunky ass and meaty body. I thought of the reception guy and what it would be like to watch him and Trent go at it before I came in and fucked that German stud hard and fast from behind.
I was rock hard now. I thought of picking my phone back up and scrolling through some porn but decided I'd enjoy the more purely mental excitement I was filling. Just enjoy the moment of being in a hotel room with my good buddy and sometimes fuck buddy. For a whole week. I shut my eyes and let my sexual fantasies visualize themselves.
"Dang," I heard, snapping my eyes open. Maybe I'd been dozing some, but apparently my prick wasn't. "I never get sick of seeing that cock of yours."
I'm not huge, but I'm big, and my endowment looks bigger on my frame. I smiled and spread my legs, showing my meat off to Trent.
"OK if I suck it first?" he said, stepping up. In the big mitt of his right hand he had a small bottle of lube, which he set on the night stand.
"When have I ever said no to that?" I asked.
"Bro," Trent retorted, "You're such an ass-man... you can have a one-track mind sometimes." I felt defensive and I was gonna say something, but Trent got on all fours and crawled toward me. He was such a big guy, tall and beefy, that it was never anything short of mind-blowing to see him in such a posture. Already his hand was on my quad muscle, rubbing it in a way that sent electricity right to my boner. "It's OK bud. It's a good look on you," he said in a hushed, sexy voice.
Then he leaned forward to get a closer look at my crotch. Inches away close, and I could feel his breath on my dong. Trent's brown eyes were on my dick, only flitting up to my face occasionally.
"What happens in Frankfurt, right?" he growled.
"Fuck yeah," I hissed. When I started up with my buddy, I just thought I was scratching that bisexual itch. And yeah it was naughty fun. Clearly I fantasized about other men, too. But I was coming face to face with the reality that no one turned me on so much or so effortlessly like my 52 year old friend.
His first licks were a get-reacquainted approach. It had been a while since he'd taken care of me. I sucked him too, and on a blue moon bottomed for the stud. But this is what we did the first time we fooled around, and it felt like our own private anniversary ritual.
"That's it, buddy," I hissed. Trent had that combo of not-quite-skilled and very enthusiastic that appealed to me more than I realized. Outside of my times with Trent, I'd only had dude sex a couple times behind Heather's back, and those guys were better cocksuckers. But not better, you know? They weren't Trent Grayson.
My buddy coughed some on my dick as he swallowed more. Not a gag, but a grunt that said he was fighting back that initial reflex. Instantly my fingers went to the back of his neck. "Easy, bro... you got this."
He did, too. After that initial shock, he was working more of me into his gullet, over and over, faster and faster.
"FUCK!" I gasped, my eyes wide as I watched my best bud deep throat me with silky steady mouth strokes. "Buddy... if you don't let up," I warned, my breath ragged. I normally wasn't this quick at the draw, but I hadn't gotten off the last couple of days. My balls were drawn up tight.
Trent spit me out, a satisfied smile on his face. He knew he'd done a great job.
"You been practicing?" I asked. "You haven't done THAT before," I said.
"I may have gotten a toy to work on," he admitted with a wink.
"Yeah?" I asked, my chest heaving in excitement. My dick was twitching in time with my heartbeat. "When was that, bud?"
Those brown eyes were hungry and playful and sexy as fuck. "When we booked this trip."
"And here I was worried I was gonna push up against some boundaries with you this week," I said.
Trent nodded and leaned up. He was excited all right, his medium-sized tool rock hard and wet at the tip. My buddy had a beefy build that was something shy of a dad bod, but he was real and muscled head to toe, and his size meant he carried the mid-section girth well. "You probably will," he answered honestly. "Hell, I know you well, Josh," he added.
"Yeah," I admitted. Chastised some. I was the one of us who got carried away. But this man was so incredible, body and soul.
Trent didn't seem too fazed. Or maybe the sexual heat was winning out. He turned to face away from me so I could see that broad back, that short hair cut with the gray fringe and the balding spot on top, that round daddy ass fitting a tall, athletic man.
That ass was backing up toward, the buns getting closer. Trent didn't shave down there, he somehow naturally had a smooth ass, except for deep in the crack.
"You gonna...?" I asked. Or started to ask. Already the big guy was leaning forward and spreading his legs, opening that crevice right up for my gaze. Softly furry with that neglected crinkled pucker in the center, freshly cleaned for me.
My hands were already on his butt doing the rest of the work to part the cheeks as I dove in.
"Oh god yes," Trent hissed. "I've been thinking about this... so much."
I licked softly at first. Giving some gentle kisses beween a more exploratory approach to his hole and trench. Then I gripped his ass more tightly and started drilling in. I couldn't even say I was an expert at rimming. I just loved it and went at it, hard. Slurping and sucking. Munching and tonguing. Alternating my moves in part because I just fricking loved it all.
Trent loved it too. I still think he had hang ups when it came to anal. I know I did. We were two men unwilling to relinquish what we considered the more masculine role. I'd probably put up with his misgivings this week, and he might try to break down my hesitation to bottom. We'd see. For now, though, it was clear that I was even more into eating out a male cunt than actual pussy, and Trent enjoyed the oral treatment to his hole.
Finally, I pulled back, practically growling into his spit wet trench. "Dude, I gotta be in you. Now."
I expected some pushback, but instead Trent was scrambling his big body. Moving forward and pivoting around. His prick was outright dripping now, a thin strand of clear sap swayed from his tip. I wondered how many days he'd held off from sex or jerking off.
Hurriedly he reached over and got some lube in his palm, eagerly reaching back behind. "Let me ride," he said. "It's been a while."
I nodded and rode out a deep couple of breaths while he lined my prick up to his wet buns and settled back on me.
The initial penetration stung some for him, but quickly he relaxed.
"That's nice," he muttered as he sank down a couple more inches. He got a grin on his face. "I love how hard you get, Josh."
"Jesus buddy," I hissed. I'd had to sweet talk him into barebacking a little over a year ago. Now, every time I entered him was pure bliss. Silky, warm, and drum-tight. "I'm like that everytime I'm with you."
"I know," Trent replied. "I fucking love it." He settled further back and my cock popped past the last bit of tightness. Suddenly, Trent was sitting all the way in my lap and his guts were gripping my boner in spasms.
"You good?" I asked with concern. But a little hesitant to ask, because this was all VERY good for me.
"Yep," he said. He reached down and wrapped his lubey fist around his hard on, smearing this own sap to add to the slickness. His initial strokes made his ass clench down tighter on me, then the self pleasuring helped his body relax into it.
Within a minute of settling down on me, Trent began to lift his burly body up off my dick a couple of inches, only to swivel back down.
This was the almost feminine part of our mating that Trent felt self conscious about. Working my bone with a slutty hip motion. But I'd told him that starting slower is much better for me, and it turned out to be better for Trent, letting him build up the stimulation of his prostate as we locked eyes.
Our fuck was silent now, other than the sloshy slick sounds where his ass connected to my dick and the soft bounce of the bed. Trent's a heavy man, in the mid 200s on the scale, and my dense muscle added to it, too.
I watched him get into it, watch the pleasure grow on his face. This is what surprised me with Trent. I thought sex with dudes was simply about getting my rocks off, but I loved giving this man pleasure. Giving him an orgasm. I was about to give him one now.
"You're getting close," he said in his deep gravely voice. Not a question. Trent could read it on my face, register my impending cum before I did.
"Oh yeah," I hissed. It was arriving fast now, that crest of pleasure, like an ocean swell that breaks right in front of you. My fingers gripped his hard quads, maybe a little too hard, just seconds before I felt his hot spray of semen jet onto my bare chest muscle. Then another, then another. All heavy wads of bleachy-floral seed raining onto me. I was pounding out a mammoth load from this beautiful man.
My own cock was firing now, matching Trent's in its heaviness. "Fuck!" I whimpered. Trent sometimes teased me for the way my voice would get higher pitched when I came. But our nearly simultaneous O meant we were synched in our lust and deep connection.
Finally Trent's hips slowed and he eased off. Some semen came out on the dismount but he clenched up to stop the rest as he plopped down on the spare side of the bed. The double mattress didn't hold out two big bodies easily, Trent's especially but he kind of snuggled up to me in an uncharacteristic intimacy and rested his face on my shoulder. Lazily his hands ran along my torso, smearing his own cum into my chest fur.
"You have an incredible body, Josh," he said.
My dick hadn't gone down. I was drained and not ready to fuck again or anything, but I was still pretty keyed up. I kissed his forehead. I didn't want to push the guy too far but figured he'd initiated this closeness. "Yeah?" I asked. I knew we enjoyed a physical chemistry, but Trent had never complimented me like this, even though I sometimes gushed over his body.
He ran his hand down my ripped abs. I didn't have the body of a 26 year old, but I kept my core tight and knotted.
"I've been afraid to tell you," he said.
"Really?" I asked. Trent didn't seem to be afraid of things.
"You can get a little conceited," he said, brusquely.
This was the Trent-and-Josh thing. Teasing each other. Humble guy and the corporate exec. But something about his words seemed to cut deeper. "I don't know what to say," I said softly.
He patted my stomach. "You're you, Josh. I understand ya, buddy. And I know I'm not easy to get along with." His hand drifted lower and wrapped around my cock, which was still rigid as just a minute earlier. "In all fairness, you have good reason to be conceited."
I wanted to kiss this guy, so bad, but that was against our bro code. "If I get to be too much, buddy..." I started. "Well, I just don't want this week to be weird."
Trent looked up. "It's not gonna be weird, Josh. Football... beer... hot steamy hotel sex... what more can you want?"
"Nothing, man," I growled. I enjoyed the soft touch of his hand as he explored my dick. Finally with a sigh, I spoke up, "I will absolutely fall asleep if we keep lying here... maybe get out for a bit?"
Trent didn't answer but just scooted away from our tight embrace, edging his big tall body off the bed. I watched him walk to the bathroom to clean off.
Somehow, the spell had been broken.
166 notes · View notes
ozarkthedog · 5 months
Note
Hi Ozzie!! Congrats on 11k ❤️
Can I request 📝 & public no. 6 (a quickie in a diner restroom before getting back on the road), with Dieter?? 🥰
thank you so much, Gideon! idk what happened but i took this and ran. hope you love this, my dude!
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18+ mdni. dieter bravo x f!reader. sex in a public bathroom. w.c. 783
Ozzie’s 11k birthday sleepover
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It was supposed to be a quick stop: fuel up, grab a bite, and get back on the road. However, you knew to expect a blip in your plans when Dieter was your co-pilot. 
Today, though, the blip turned into 35 minutes behind schedule because someone wanted to play an old arcade game the owners had set up in the back of the small diner. 
You let Dieter have his fun while you drank your coffee and went over your route once more. He looked so cute playing the arcade game in his long, green robe. You never could part that man from his robe. "I like to be comfy at all times," you recall him saying when he sunk into the passenger seat at the beginning of your trip. 
When you couldn't waste any more time, you gave him a '5 more minutes' signal as you made your way to the bathroom.
The bathroom was what you expect in a local diner. Small but relatively clean, thankfully. As you finish washing your hands, Dieter frantically knocks on the door.
"Let me in," he whines.
He's already turning the knob as you unlock it. He shuts the door quickly and slithers into the tiny space. Your ass bumps into the sink as you make room for the broad man.
"What's wrong?" you ask, worry framing your words.
"Nothing. Just missed you." he smiles, pinching your chin between his thumb and forefinger.
"Dieter! You can't worry me like that." you chastised, poking his chest.
He plasters his thick body against your own, pushing you further into the porcelain sink. "Sorry, love. I just thought we could have a quick fuck before we got back in the car." he muses, a grin tugging at the corners of his lips.
You roll your eyes, but they stop mid-way when he rubs his large bulge over your belly. "Shit, D." you look at the door and then back to those wild, wanting eyes. 
He wraps his arms around your waist and tips his head, looking at you under his lashes. "You know how quick I can be."
You huff with a laugh. "Okay, Mr. Quickie. Let's go," you happily prompt.
"Oh, that means you're Mrs. Quickie! " he muses, laughing until his cheer is struck down. His eyes zero in on your lower half as you hike up your skirt and tug your panties to the side.
"Well, what are you waiting for." you dare, propping your leg on the window sill and wrapping your hands around his neck for support.
Dieter goes a bit dumb when you and sex are involved. He usually relies on you to tell him what to do. The second you snap your command, he shoves his sleep pants down to his knees and takes his cock in his hand. 
He teases your already slick opening with his throbbing crown before slowly pushing into your searing core. He doesn't stop until he's buried to the hilt, and his girthy base nudges your clit. He bites the side of his cheek, wantonly moaning into the small space as your walls stretch around him. 
Your "magic pussy" as he likes to call it, is already working, teasing and tempting him to fill you up.
"Best be quiet, D. We don't need anyone interrupting us," you say, combing your fingers through his hair and slightly tugging.
A whimper bubbles up from his throat. You press a single finger to his pouted lips before branding him with a kiss. He sets a steady pace, angling his hips just right and grazing all those sensitive spots he knows that get you off the fastest.
His bulbous crown notches something profound and devastating, forcing your arousal to rise steadily until you're drowning in the salacious rapture. His brow pinches tight, furrowing with a heavy need to stave off his own pleasure until he feels you come on his cock.  
His bottom lip trembles. With a silent command, you thumb at the plush cushion and plummet off the edge together, holding one another's gaze. Hushed whimpers and labored breathing fill the room as you melt into one. 
You exit the bathroom first, praying that no one will notice Dieter leaving the tiny bathroom a few moments after you. You keep your eyes locked on the floor as you make a beeline for the main entry, casually looking over your shoulder to ensure Dieter is tailing you. 
He curls a weighty arm around your shoulder, tugging you into his side as you push through the glass doors and walk out to your car together. 
"You know we're gonna have to make this a road trip ritual now, right?" he grins.
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Ozzie’s 11k birthday sleepover
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glitchinginthegarden · 2 months
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OC Smash Or Pass
I'm doing another one because I can. No pressure tagging: @matapang-coffee, @totentnz, @perhapsrampancy, @hiighborg
RULES: pretty self explanatory. include physical descriptions or pics, and propaganda. the “other” label can be used for “sexuality misalignment” (ie: oc is femme and you’re gay, vice versa or you aren’t into smashing but a specific thing you wanna do with them like perhaps hug or study them under a microscope idc).
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A/S/L (or something)
Full Name: Virgil "Gil" Vickerström / changed to Gil Vickers in 2071
Age: 35
Height: 6'5 / 196cm
Eyes: Cloud gray Kiroshis, naturally brown
Hair: Teal/phthalo green 'hawk, dirty blonde sides/roots (sometimes dyes his short hairs for fun)
Gender: Cis man
Pronouns: He/Him
Sexuality: Bisexual
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Pros +
LORGE. In every way. Yes, that way too.
Polite AF. Gil grew up corpo and a lot of the etiquette he had drilled into him during that time stuck. He says his "please" and "thank you"s, is usually the first to offer a handshake, holds doors open for others, will carry your groceries, etc etc.
Generally just a flat out good dude.
Extremely laid back, friendly, chill - to the point that it makes some people wary of him because they think it's not genuine. He is guilty of using this to his advantage if the situation calls for it though.
Grade A cuddler. You will never be cold, you will always have ample tits to rest your weary head upon, and he's content to spend an entire day like that.
Cons -
He participates in street fights at least one or two nights every week. He will come back bloody and bruised and possibly in need of stitches. And he will be thrilled about it. He will not ask for anything from you in tending to these wounds.
Watson's local ('ganic) weed man. If you don't like the dank, this ain't gonna work. He used to deal hard drugs too but stopped years ago.
Drives a candy grape panel van (or in-universe a Mahir Supron) and has no interest in upgrading his wheels.
His laid-back attitude can sometimes make his partners feel as though he's not invested.
He takes a loooong time to actually open up to someone. If you want more than a quick romp, he takes work.
Can "flip a switch" when he needs to be cold/ruthless/etc. Putting this in cons because it's jarring and borderline unhealthy (thanks, Arasaka).
Extra Propaganda
Most commonly seen in an open pink bathrobe, boxers, and nothing else. Will run errands like this. Take that as you will.
Connections out the wazoo. If you need something, he either has it or knows who does.
Extrovert and well practiced in carrying introverts through social situations.
Most things are low stakes to him. He's not the type to get upset or take it personally if someone turns him down for anything. Very "go with the flow".
Ex-hit man. If you need someone gone in Night City, he'll have it done in a week, max, but it'll cost you.
Likes to feel useful and that extends to bedroom. He's very service forward. Ultimately, an absolute switch though.
Good luck getting him to keep a shirt on.
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nekrosdolly · 9 months
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older wesker hcs!
i fucking love old men...
cw; major age gap (15-35 years), reader is at least mid-twenties or early thirties, silly old man things, wesker is a SENIOR CITIZEN, current-day au, gn!reader
a/n; very much inspired by a silly conversation in the comments under one of my posts with @thatgirlgames
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old!wesker, who's pissed off half the time because being in the pit of lava burned the Uroboros right out of his system so now, for the last fourteen years, he's been living like a normal person.
old!wesker, who's constantly remembering and recanting the past like it'll actually change something (it won't, he's just crabby)
old!wesker, whose joints pop and crack every five seconds due to old age.
old!wesker, who can't wear sunglasses inside anymore because they hurt his eyes too much, so he sticks to very thick, prescription bifocals in a similar style.
old!wesker, who's shocked that you even wanted to be with a dude in his sixties. he appreciates the company.
old!wesker, who's aged fairly well, given that the aging process was staved off by Uroboros for some time.
old!wesker, whose energy supply has depleted thanks to being older. can't do as much as he wants to, not without his back threatening to throw itself out.
old!wesker, who wakes up at the crack of dawn to start his day. he takes multivitamins to remain at least a little healthy for his retirement years. if his developing arthritis gets too bad he uses a cane here and there, but you're always by his side to help him out.
old!wesker, who feels a little bit weak every time you have to help him with something. maybe it's the way he was raised, but he can't just let you do everything for him. he's supposed to be a man- a strong and smart one at that, mind you- and it irks him when he can't be that for you.
old!wesker, who despises how he's slowly started to settle into more age-appropriate hobbies, such as watching birds or doing the daily crossword in the newspaper (New York Times only, thank you very much.) although he finds it sweet how you don't tease him about it.
old!wesker, who adores how you snuggle up to him in the morning, putting a temporary pause to his grumpiness. he is happy to be alive and with you, even if life hasn't been the most kind to him (nor him to it, either.)
134 notes · View notes
rustboxstarr · 1 year
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🏖Grown Ups🏖 part 2
Summary: You've been pulling away from Eddie recently its not until summer vacation that you finally find your way back to him.
Pairings: Dad!Eddie Munson x PlusSize!Mom!Reader
Warnings: Smut, Fluff, Angst. Swearing, use of Y/N, kinda hints that reader is tall, and not blonde but if that aint u just ignore it haha, Steve once again being an insightful mama hen, accidental hurting animals (the bird scene), slightly persuasive of venturing out of comfort zone (friend to reader) but its all in good nature, age gap one sided flirting, accusations of cheating, talk of depression, oral m receiving, soft dom!Reader, mention of blood, sexy photos, talks of masturbation, P in V, sexual powerplay, mean degrading, blood, slapping, angry makeup sex for deep set feelings after a long time, smoking, R comes from abusive home, crying, bad views on emotions from R, talk of death, loosing a parent, homelessness, allusion to deadly overdose.
Wordcount: 22 k
A/N: Holy hell this took some time, life has just been beating the crap out of me lately but thank you all so much for all the support and love and patience, it means so much to me ❤️
Eddie is not a dick ok, he doesn’t only think about sex all the time, he just comes off as one because its smut hahahaha.
Lets just ignore the fact that big girls chafe haha.
Eddies tall now because I said so, sorry not sorry, he's like 2 cm taller than me, sue me for having a preference.
Love yas!
Part 1
Drawings I made for the fic for some visuals 😊
Grown Ups masterlist
Check out my other works!
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Max (35), Lukas (35) - twins Eric (6) and Billy (6)
El (35), Mike (35) - no kids
Dustin (35), Suzie (35) - Willow (11 months)
Eddie (41), You (40) - Ophelia (10) and Roxette (7)
Gareth (37) - single, no kids
Luke -unnamed freak (39), Simone (38) - Tom (5) and Oliver (3) - not that it matters but Simone is african american so the kids are mixed incase it might be nice to visualise 
Jeff (37), Tracy (45) - Ariana (16) (Tracy's daughter)
Will (35), Winter (33) - no kids
Steve (40), Nancy (39) - Mercy (11), Lousie (9), Rachel (7), Marcus(5), Bianca (3) and Dustin (2)
Jonathan (39), Charlotte (41) - Emma (6), Charlie (4) and Lilly (2)
Robin(39), Vickie(39) - no kids
Argyle (40), Eden (38) - no kids
Holly (26)- no kids
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The sun was blaring down on the two men as Steve hovered behind Eddie going through the motions of checking the vital parts of the engine to the Harrington-Wheeler Chrysler minivan. 
Sweat beads threatened to drip down Eddies forehead under his damp bangs, his hair tied back in a low bun as he bent over the hood, grime building up under his nails and staining his fingers as he picked and pulled at parts, finally he stood up, cracking his back, only prolonging the inevitable as Steve watched him expectantly. 
“Your oxygen sensor is malfunctioning” he wiped his hands off on his trunks, making a mental note to wash them later, “And that means?...” Steve crossed his arms and leant forward to inspect the different mechanics he had no idea about “The engine computer won't be able to correctly set the air to fuel ratio, which means lower fuel economy, higher emissions and a high probability of damage to other components, such as an overheating the catalytic converter” Eddie stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, his professional vocabulary shining through “Jesus dude english” Steve groaned, all the unfamiliar words working up some anxiety in his chest, worrying he would have to trade in a new car which would undoubtedly cost them a lot just when they'd gotten settled and comfortable with the economy. 
“You're gonna have to get it replaced” Steve relaxed but only a little bit “but you're not taking this hunk of junk out on the road” just as Steve was about to complain about how they needed the car to get back home a rusty Chevrolet Chevette whizzed over the gravel, screeching as it came to a stop, haphazardly parking squint between two cars, cutting off his train of thought as he mimicked Eddies reaction of wincing at the loud noise. 
The formerly cherry red now prominently rust door opened and a short blonde figure in a low-cut, cropped, baby pink tanktop and daisy dukes emerged with a wide grin on her face “Holly!” Eddie greeted as he turned to face Nancy and Mike's younger sister who he hadn't seen in nearly 10 years “Hiiii!” she waved happily as she closed the door and walked over to the pair “Lovely to see you” Steve let his arms fall to his sides as Eddie closed the hood to the car “You too Steve. So what you two up to?” 
Her arms crossed at the wrist as she played with her bracelet, looking up at Eddie with wide doe eyes “Just checking out Steves tin can” Eddie chuckled as he did a quick scan of the girl in front of him before meeting her eyes, a smirk tugged at her lips as she made a subtle show of pushing her breasts together further with her crossed hands. Steve frowned behind Eddie's back as Holly continued her pleasantries “Oh that's right you’re a mechanic, real man's job” she gave a sultry smirk as it was Eddie's turn to frown slightly in confusion, “What do you do again Steve?” Steve cleared his throat and stood up straight “Uh I’m an accountant” for some reason Holly's comment made him suddenly insecure about his job. He felt the need to puff out his chest to stand up for himself in some strange way. Holly only hummed in response, “Uh Mikes over there and I think Nancy's inside” Eddie pointed towards the beach. Holly gave a wide smirk and walked off with a wave of her slim fingers. 
Eddie cleared his throat “Uh ok anyway, yeah you can't take the car out on the road but I can pop by an auto shop and pick up the parts, saves you a fortune of doing it here” they both began strolling over to the beach again as they went over the costs for the parts. 
-
Your eyes drifted from looking out over the lake with the squealing kids and laughing adults to see Holly make her way over to the group of what you all still considered to be the kids, namely, Dustin, Suzie, Max, El, Mike and Lucas scattered on towels soaking up the sun. Gareth sat beside you deep in a monologue about some car he was working on, if you were completely honest you weren't really listening, simply content in being in the sun during summer, away from work and enjoying time with your kids and Eddie, still on a high from being reconnected with him. 
You were pulled out of your peaceful bliss when you felt a tug on your hair, turning around to be met by the man himself, your husband, who smacked a kiss to your forehead, further lightening your mood as Dustin clapped his hands together. “So, who’s coming on the hike? There's a tree swing which I think the kids would like, goes over the water” he grinned as he looked around. 
-
Soon enough Luke and his eldest Tom, Dustin with his Willow, Steve and Nancy with Mercy, Louise and Rachel as well as Robin, and you and your little family -save for Roxette who was left in Ariana's room as they gossiped about the music industry- were gathered outside the cabin as Dustin pushed off, leading the group behind him. “Knew you'd wear the shorts” Eddie breathed in your left ear as you watched Ophelia run off to chatter happily with Steve's girls.
You giggled as you felt a strong large hand squeeze at your right asscheek, “They're are the only ones I had, seeing as someone thought my cargos were their cargos and switched them out for their own denim ones” you pulled at the black denim fabric on his thigh as evidence to your point “Maybe I did it on purpose” he grinned as he slipped around to walk next to your left, slipping his fingers between yours to hold your hand. “I would hope so, I still have hope for your fried ass brain, be nice to know its not too far gone that you can't tell the difference between an article of clothing twice the size of yours” you grinned up at him, gum peeking through at the front where it threatened to fall out from the loose bite around it. 
“How dare you? I was like the smartest person in our grade” he grinned wickedly at his joke as he slipped back behind you to walk on the narrow path through the woods, switching to his left hand to hold yours without being in an awkward twist. “First of all, that would be me, I mean hello? Trailer trash, near drop out and community college degree” you flashed a grin towards him before staring intently at your feet to make sure you wouldn't trip “But sure, they held you back three years to make sure you held up the average 4.2 GPA” he squeezed your hip at your cheek causing you to giggle again. 
“Y/N can we talk?” Nancy rushed over once the path opened up again, leaving Steve behind you both as she looked between you and Eddie. “Sure” you grinned knowingly and let your hand slip from Eddies. 
“What you think they're talking about?” Eddie asked as he watched Robin hold back to join the two of you, abandoning her conversation with a bunch of the kids. “What do you think, dumbass?” Steve snorted as he witnessed Robin jumping up and down excitedly “Why does everyone have to know what's going on all the time?” Eddie rolled his eyes “In her defence, you've been scheming with us on how to get her into bed, but I will admit she and Nancy have been talking about it for a while” 
“What?”
“Well I mean Nancy gives hints, she keeps talking my ear off about girl code and how she swore she wouldn't tell anyone” 
“I’m sorry, are you that interested in my sex life?” he gestured towards Steve's obvious distaste for the aforementioned ‘girl code’.
“No, but I can't be the only one who enjoys listening to my wife's gossip” 
“Ok true, but wait why would she talk to Nancy about this and not me? I’m the husband, and like the actual person who it concerns!” he threw his hands out in annoyed defeat as Steve shrugged. “Don’t forget, Robin too, but she really won't tell me shit” Eddie sent him a glare at his remark. “Girl talk? Guess she just feels more comfortable talking about it with another girl. I mean, do you tell her everything?”
“Yes” Eddie deadpanned after drawing his eyes away from your giggling “Oof, eh well maybe like, establish some… rules? I don't know, just like make her aware you're willing to listen”
“Why do you know all of this? Weren't you like super unpopular with the ladies after the breakup senior year?” 
“First of all, I’m smart and I communicate with my wife” he gave a knowing glare at Eddie, as if to tell him something you should be doing more “And secondly, so were you, she's like the only one you've been with” 
“Didn't have to be popular, been with the same girl since I was 17” he grinned smugly. 
“Hey Ophi, when we were kids your parents used to talk us into doing the craziest stuff” Dustin's voice was heard over the chatter of the group as he leant down to pass Willow over to your daughter for her to carry. “That's right” Eddie grinned a few metres away, “Yeah, I remember one time we, uh got our shower curtains, put ‘em in shopping carts and went shopping cart sailing” he stood up once he saw Ophelis was secure with his daughter and flashed a grin towards you. 
Luke laughed as you shouted out a “Yeah!”, “Wait, how did you steer?” Tom piped up in confusion “Well we-we didn’t” he grinned towards his son “How’d you stop?” Louise turned, walking backwards to give her attention to Luke. “You just smashed into something” Eddie explained “That was the fun part” you piped up as Eddie found his place walking next to you again. 
“We used to shoot bottle rockets at each other” Robin laughed “You always go for the guy’s face cuz’ you wanna blind him” she smirked as Mercy frowned, “Okay, no that's a little much pal” Steve patted her on the shoulder “No! No I know, kids, don't do that” she covered “You know what, erase, reboot” she waved her hands back and forth as she mimicked the sound of a cassette rewinding, Rachel and Ophelia laughing at her antics. 
“Oh ho ho ho! The rope swing!” Dustin pointed as you all arrived at your destination “Oh rope on a tree baby! You know what that means” Luke inched towards the swing as Dustin held onto it excitedly. “We get to hang ourselves?” Mercy's bored voice sounded “Mercy” Steve scolded as Eddie interrupted “Are you kidding me? You see a rope and a lake and that doesnt wanna make you go nuts?” he pointed towards lake Michigan which you were now only further up the coastline of.  
“It makes me wanna- you- you- you know what? Let me show ‘em, let me show ‘em” Luke stuttered excitedly as he shuffled down the cliff and towards Dustin. “Yeah baby” Dustin forced the rope over to Luke to grab onto “Dude, get on the top rock!” you shouted as he began to steady himself, multiple adults chiming in with yeah’s at your suggestion. 
“Class is in session” Luke made a deep teacher's voice as he prepared to jump from the rock “Who wants to see a double flip!” he shouted as he ran off the edge of the rock, “Whee!” he exclaimed as everybody egged him on “Too high!”
“Now drop!”
“This was a mistake!”
“I can’t let go I’m to scared!” he shrieked as he turned back around on the rope, smashing right into a thick tree. He screamed guturally as he let go of the rope, doing a flip in the air and landing on the forest floor with a loud thump, he rolled over with the slope of the hill ramming right into a bush, rolling right over a high edge and thudding loudly onto the last bit of earthy floor before the shore of the lake. 
The previous crowd shouting with sympathy pain silenced as he came to a stop. “That was awesome!” his son shouted excitedly, suddenly Luke popped up and into view, his face scrunched up in pain as he shrieked “Oh god! Oh god! My leg snapped!” he held onto his thigh as he shrieked, a grey and brown bone protruding from his skin, “Oh my god! The bone’s sticking out! I need help!” he continued as everyone began shrieking in horror. 
“It's a stick! I got you!” he threw the supposed bone away with a clap of his hands, squirming his body in an attempt at a victory dance. Some sighed in relief as some laughed “AAHAHAHA that was good!” Dustin pointed at him as Steve, you, Eddie and Robin all laughed. 
“Daddy that bird is hurt!” Rachel squealed as she pointed past Luke to something nestled between the leaves behind him. The bird flapped and chirped in strain as it attempted to rise from the ground, “Oh my god” Robin shimmied down the rock towards the bird “We’ll go get a shoebox when we get back” Nancy comforted her daughter as she clung to her leg, hiding her face. 
Eddie too shimmied down towards Luke as Robin picked the bird up and placed it in a makeshift pillow which was her hoodie. Eddie reached a hand out to help him up as he asked “Hey, did you really land on that bird, man?” he watched as Luke stood up and dusted himself off “Um.. I’m not sure. I-I did hear a chirp and then a crunch-like noise, but.. That could have been anything” he shook his head dismissively as Eddie snorted “Okey”. 
The group of hikers made their way back as all the kids flocked around Robin to get a look at the bird.
“After lunch I’m gonna head into town with Steve, need to get a part for the engine” Eddie caught up to you again and bent slightly down to speak to you, “Oh ok, us girls were talking about heading to that shopping mall outside of the town later” you pulled your shorts up and tugged your t-shirt down since both had adjusted after talking a large step over a fallen tree “Alright great, I’m sure the girls’ll be fine, I’ll ask Luke if he can keep an eye on them” he said as he fell behind you. 
-
You and Eddie took it upon yourselves to cook lunch, near 10 bags of fresh pasta boiled in two large pots as Eddie heated up a hefty amount of tomato sauce. Once Robin had set out all the plates and cutlery she leaned over and whispered to Eddie “Geez, she’s really bossy” she referred to the multiple orders you had nearly shouted out and multiple warnings not to touch the food. “I heard that” you deadpanned as you stirred the pasta, Eddie only laughed “Don't worry, she’s a lot more bossy when we do other things too” he smirked, earning him a smack to the back of the head from you. 
Soon enough everyone had eaten and 11 of you packed into two cars, save for Holly and Ariana who were getting to know each other in their now shared room. You with Nancy, Tracy, Simone, Charlotte, Suzie and Eden in Jonathan and Charlotte's minivan and El, Robin and Vickie, and Max in her car. The mall wasn't too big, mostly clothes shops but too many to all collectively decide on so you all split up. 
A cute little independent shop was where your group was headed. 
“Oh. My. God! Y/N this is perfect for you!” Charlotte squealed as she held up a dress from the maternity section where she had already found a collection of things to try on “What, maternity clothes?” you laughed as you walked over to her, so far all you'd found was a cute set of panties with a matching teddy which you had reasoned you may as well treat yourself too since it seemed you were becoming more comfortable with yourself again. “Yes a maternity dress but seriously you would look gorgeous in this” she passed over the black silky smooth t-shirt fabric flowing from a hanger. You held it up to look. 
Sleeveless with a turtleneck and shapeless, something you usually shied away from as it made you look like you were wearing a garbage bag, but sliding the fabric through your hands you discovered it had slits up the side, decidedly high up on the sides, no doubt past your thighs. 
“Babe this would look horrible on me” you sighed as you motioned it back to her, she didn't take it, instead she insisted “Girl this is going to look absolutely stunning on you, at least just try it on” she compromised. “Fine” 
You picked up a few more things before you, Charlotte, Simone and Nancy went to try all of your chosen items on. 
You most definitely felt the confidence boost as you put the dress on, hips and thighs half on display, the slits hem resting just above your hip, but as you looked in the mirror that confidence washed away. Hip dips, stretchmarks and cellulite were all on display, sure you loved your body and had no issue showing it, but on your own terms, this was definitely a dress for skinny curvy girls, and your point was proved further as you turned to the side. Plump round breasts which honestly yes they looked fucking good, but below that your stomach, devided by your bellybutton and forcing the fabric out. At least the dress wasn't skin tight, the fabric hung from the roundest part of your belly, the bottom, not sucking right back in to show the roundness of it but you weren't keen on the rolls showing. 
“Is it on?” Charlotte squealed excitedly as she and the others sat on a pouffe outside, all done with their try-ons, “Yes” you sighed as you turned to look at your front again “Ooh show me, show me!” you sighed again as you hung your head, walking out to show the outfit. “Oh my god, that dress was like made for you” Simone commented as you walked out. “Yeah, Eddies going to love that” Nancy told you with wide eyes. “Babe, it looks amazing! You have to buy it!” she clapped as you made your way over to the full length mirror on the floor, twisting and turning.
“Really?” you asked anxiously as you examined the back, rolls on show and bra straps clearly digging into your fat. “Yes! Come on, it's only like $15!” you contemplated it, it wasn't much money, and you sure had spent more on clothing that you never wore “Eh what the hell?” you shrugged. 
You visited a few more stores and were all sat excitedly talking about it as you made your way home. “You should wear that dress tonight” Charlotte piped up from the back as you drove her minivan. “It’s a restaurant with kids, it's not appropriate” you laughed as you pulled into the parking lot of the cabin, “So? We’ll all wear what we bought. We’ll all be inappropriate, Simone you shoulder wear that strappy mess you call lingerie” you all laughed at her response as you parked up. 
She kept pestering you all the way out the car, getting the other girls to join in and agree on wearing their new outfits not lingerie which Simone stated clearly “Fine! Fine! I’ll wear it!” you laughed as you entered in the huddle “Wear what?” Eddie chuckled as he slid over to you, dropping a kiss to your lips and naturally grabbing the bags to let you slip your shoes off. “Just this dress Charlotte made me buy” Charlotte in question smirked all smug as she leaned in “You're gonna die when you see her in it” you felt on the spot as Eddie turned with a matching smirk as the pair looked at you “Oh am I?” you only rolled your eyes and grabbed the bags, ruffling Ophelia's hair as you made your way up to check on Roxette.
-
Thankfully the dress covered up all the hickies, was all you could think as you looked yourself in the mirror, you’d decided against the new lingerie as you riffled through your new things, you weren't 100% ready for it yet but that was ok, instead your worn your usual dark black t-shirt bra and an matching thong which had also been picked up today, only for the purpose of the dress, topping the outfit off with your old beat up converse. 
Before leaving for the trip you'd packed some of your old jewellery which hadn't been worn in months, now you were thankful for it, it really pulled the outfit together. A beaded black bracelet with a star hanging from it, a black chain necklace with a ruby in the shape of a crystal tower upside down hanging low from your neck and a collection of different earrings in your various ear piercings. All matching your simple winged eyeliner, mascara and blood red lips. 
“Mom, you look like a vampire!” Roxette squealed excitedly as she ran over to you at the bottom of the stairs, you laughed at her comment, pulling her greedy hands away from you as she grabbed onto the fabric. “You look really pretty mom” Ophelia smiled from her spot on the couch next to her dad who was now fully distracted from his conversation with Steve. 
You could feel his eyes rake over your body painstakingly slow, drinking you up. He cleared his throat as he blinked, remembering that not only were a bunch of people around but his kids too “You look really beautiful” he breathed as his eyes found yours. “Thanks” you beamed as you followed Roxette who was dragging you over to the dining table. Surprisingly what mattered the most was the opinion of your daughters, and all insecurity was shunted away as they showered you in their own version of praise. 
You felt comfortable within yourself as you sat down next to Argyle to see the comic he was telling Roxette about. Not feeling the pair of wide eyes staring at you from across the room as his daughter tugged on his arm. The only way to describe Eddie right now, was speechless. He couldn't even begin to comprehend what he was seeing. The thighs, the stomach, your tits so clearly visible from the side, round and plump. Snake tattoo framed by vines spread wide on your right thigh while a spider creeping out of a skull occupied your left. The girls initials on the back of your left arm, the flower with the eye further down, the dripping moon on your upper arm, and on your other the large spider web on your forearm, a spider resting in its creation, the dagger dripping blood above it next to the butterfly with the eye. 
Eddie always liked to joke about your fascination with spiders and eyes but right now all he could do was stare at them all in a daze. He couldn't say all of his favourite parts, nor nearly all, because every part of you were his favourite parts, but most of them were on display. All for Eddie to drink up and fascinate himself with. Not only did you look so incredibly sexy but also so goddamn pretty, beautiful, breathtaking, he couldn't decide. The gods above he didn't believe in had created this devine goddess and on top of that you were his wife??
Compliments were exchanged between all the girls who wore their brand new outfits as well as some teasing directed towards not only Eddie but Jeff, Luke and Jonathan whose wives all had worn something slightly frisky. Finally after lots of back and forth everyone set out in their cars to Woodmans. 
Eddie looked behind him to see both girls hot in an argument about why being the knight while playing princesses was better than being a princess and decided the coast was clear. He would love to shower you with dirty compliments but he couldn't, so the best he could do was lay a hand high up on your thigh and grasp on tightly as a sign of affection. You grinned and turned to him as he gave you a meaningful look, desperately trying to convey his message. The message being, If I could, I would fuck you right here, right now. 
“Dad, you're hurting mom!” Roxette screeched from the backseat as she witnessed the skin under his hand turning a deeper shade, he quickly retracted his hand and placed it firmly on the steering wheel “No I’m not” he retorted, as if he himself was a 7 year old child too. “Yes you are, and mommy had bruises too, did you do that” she strained against her seatbelt as she attempted to look her father in the eye, you snorted before turning in your seat “No baby, I’m ok, he's not hurting me” you explained. “See” Eddie smugly chimed in as Roxy stuck her tongue out at him. 
He cleared his throat as everyone made their way into the restaurant, both girls running off to talk to their friends “So uh are you not wearing any underwear?” he whispered into your ear as his free hand landed on your hip, the other occupied with holding your hand behind you “Wouldn't you like to know” your neck craned to give him eye contact as you turned, beginning to smirk as you felt his hand slip under the fabric in search of something “Is-” his fingers found the hem of your thong, slipping under it and following it down to the crook of your cheeks where it disappeared in between them “Is that a thong?” he frowned down at you in surprise “Well my normal underwear wouldn't work with this” you explained as his hand found your hip again and you adjusted the fabric to sit back over your ass. 
A guttural groan left Eddie's throat as you all entered the restaurant. 
The restaurant was packed with people but luckily the server brought you to a room at the back which was mostly empty, seating you all down in a cluster of tables. Dim cozy lights shone up above as 80s music played from tinny speakers. There was a lot of ruckus, convincing kids to sit down and everyone finding their seats, Luke telling his kids he was going to sit over with the grownups at a long table while they sat with the other children.
“Hey Dustin” Mike called from across the table, “Remember when we used to come here late at night after we got wasteeed!” he grinned as he sat down next to El, Lucas and Dustin hushed him just as Eric piped up “What's wasted?”, “Nice one Wheeler” Lucas groaned, “Uh wasted, uh, kids is, something that happens.. When you have a hankering for ice cream” Lucas explained to the kids now all listening in. 
“I wanna get wasted” Billy stood up excitedly “I wanna get totally wasted!” Louise exclaimed, “I wanna get wasted every single day of my life!” Emma chimed in. “I wanna get chocolate wasted” Roxetted agreed, “No you don't need to get wasted, it's ok” you patted her on the back as Eddie grinned, watching you walk over from the kids table and sit down next to him. 
An old round lady made her way over tugging a notebook out of her apron, “Alright everybody, you know what let me make this easy” Luke explained as silence fell over the group, “41 burgers and 41 fries, okay? And uh.. That’ll be for me, what are you guys having?” he laughed as a shared collection of awws and laughs sounded around the room. Individual meals were ordered on separate tabs despite Will and Winters offers of paying and soon enough all the food was eaten and most of the kids and adults were off playing games in the arcade across the building. 
-
“So Eddie” Holly scooted over on the bench once Robin and Vickey walked off to play the games, now sat right next to Eddie whose conversation with Dustin had been broken off to go change Willow's diaper. “Hm?” He asked, looking up from his drink and turning his head towards her “Tell me more about your job, I never got a chance to ask before” she smiled as she crossed her legs and faced towards him, her knees pressing firmly against Eddies thigh. 
“Uh pretty self explanatory really, just fixing cars days on end” he shrugged, instinctively moving his leg away at the contact but turning his torso towards her to give her his attention.  “Mmm” she hummed “I bet it's really tiring, your poor muscles” she reached a hand out to grab his shoulder, squeezing lightly a few times before letting her hand linger. “Uh, it's- uh… it's not too bad” Eddie frowned, confused at the action. 
Next to him you were brought away from your conversation with a few others turning to see Holly squeezing at your husband's shoulder. Not only was she touching your man but he was also letting her? You frowned as Holly leaned in “I could help loosen them up if you want” she smiled a sultry smile as she looked up at Eddie with glossed over doe eyes “Uh no thanks, my wife usually does that” apparently the mention of you didn't have the intended effect, Holly only leaned in further, her hand sliding down his shoulder to grasp at his bicep. 
“Is your wife here?” her voice was dropping lower by the second as her hand slid further down to plant a firm grasp on his thigh. “Yes” you leaned past Eddie to look Holly dead in the eye, she quickly ripped her hand away from his thigh “So would you please stop flirting with my husband” you frowned in disgust as Holly stuttered. “I-I uh, I’m so sorry” she looked down towards her lap. So far you hadn't ever spoken to Holly, you hadn't seen her since you were roughly 20 and she was a mere 6 years old but now that you had you found you weren't particularly fond of the 26 year old nonetheless. 
Holly scuttled off embarrassed, pushing through the double doors to the room and out into the general restaurant area. “Thanks” Eddie breathed as he turned towards you, you only hummed annoyed in response as you turned back to the others. Eddie frowned at your reaction, bending down to give a kiss to your cheek in yet another thanks, you however made no reaction as you started talking to Luke. 
Just as he was about to ask you what was wrong Steve leaned over the table to get Eddie's attention, sliding over a check in thanks for his work on the minivan earlier in the day. 
He didn't get any more chances to talk to you as it seemed both of you were busy talking to other people at all times, he furthermore couldn't talk to you since you and Roxette were sat with Steve and Nancy surrounded by some of their kids in their newly working car on the way home, trading places so that Ophelia, Mercy, Louise and Emma could all sit together in your car.
Anxiety was bubbling up in Eddies chest, he had just gotten you back he didn't want to lose you again.
-
Finally after putting the girls to bed much too late you both got a moment of peace. Eddie whispered a hey as he wrapped his arms around you the second you came through the door from brushing your teeth. “Hi” your tone was flat when you answered him, already pulling away to put your things down. “What's wrong?” he sighed as he sat down on the foot of the bed, watching as you rummaged through the bags to find your sleep shirt. “Nothing” your tone was still flat but it let up in an exasperated “I’m just tired”. This time as you took your clothes off, Eddie wasn’t oggling like some teenager, he knew that I’m just tired and he knew it was bullshit. 
Once you'd thrown the t-shirt over your head he beckoned you over, pleased when you stood between his thighs and letting his hands run up and down the backs of your own instead of ignoring him and going to bed. “I just” you sighed “Just Holly, really bugged me” you rolled your eyes at the fact that it affected you so much, it didn't normally. Normally when you heard someone flirting with Eddie you’d feel smug, knowing you had him first, but maybe it was seeing it hands on, literally, while you were right next to him. Blatant disrespect for your relationship. “Ah, well I don't think she knew we were married babe, either way you know I only have eyes for one girl” he squeezed teasingly at your ass as he grinned up at you “I know” you rolled your eyes at his cheesiness before a slight grin crept up on your features. 
“Besides now you know how I feel” he ran his hands up your sides to hold onto your clothed hips “How you feel?” you asked confused, “Yeah, guys are always fuckin’ staring at you at bars and shit” 
“No they're not” you laughed, “Oh believe me, they are, I know that look, I’ve done that look” he widened his eyes as he stared up at you, but you only chuckled in response “Sure babe” you pulled away from him and rounded the bed, walking over to your bedside table, slipping all your jewellery off but leaving your wedding band and engagement ring on. 
“I’m serious, it's the same way Greg looks at you” he stood up, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it to the bench next to the bags. “Greg?” you turned around frowning as you unclipped your earrings. “Yes Greg, any excuse to stare at your ass in those pencil skirts and he takes it” he unbuckled his belt as you pulled the covers away from the bed, sitting up against the headboard. 
“Oh please, he’s married and I'm really not his type, have you seen his wife?” you countered as he pulled his pants down. Greg's wife was short, skinny and blonde, basically the opposite of you. “Oh trust me, you're his type” he rolled his eyes as he placed his jeans next to his shirt, “Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there because you've clearly lost yours” you scoffed eyes following Eddie as he walked over and slipped under the covers and sat next to you. 
As he removed his rings and watch he spoke “He stares at you like you're something to eat, and I bet he just loves spending late nights at the office with you” you scoffed once again, sliding down in the bed and laying on your side with you back to him. “You're ridiculous” 
“Am I?”
“Yes”
“Is it really that ridiculous that I’m just a little bit worried that some sleeze is hovering around my wife, spending long nights working on a supposed project, not only that but the fact that I haven't even seen my wife the past six months?” you gasp in offence as you turn around to face him, sitting up with your legs to one side, bedcover gathering around your waist “Are you saying you think I’m cheating on you?” your glare is menacing, but not enough to break Eddie.
“Well are you? I mean we havent had sex in fucking forever”
“We had sex yesterday!” 
“Yeah and that was the first time since christmas, its june. Maybe you’ve been so busy fucking him huh?”
“How fucking dare you? No I am not cheating on you you absolute asshole, I’ve been fucking depressed. But only King Eddie is allowed to feel down is that it? You're the only one who gets to say no yeah?”
“You've been depressed?” Eddies anger dissipated instantly as he watched your ragefilled eyes “Fucking obviously!” you threw your hands out. “I-I didn’t know..” he mumbled shamefully as he looked down towards his lap “Of course not, because you're too busy trying to get me naked to even notice” your hands rub angrily over your face. 
“I- Of course I noticed, I just didn’t know it was that bad. Why didn't you tell me?” His heartful gaze was too much to bear as he looked up at you with sad eyes, you looked away to fiddle in your lap as you sheepishly admitted “I didn't want to bother you” tears were threatening to build up by your waterline so you furiously blinked them away. Eddie moved in front of you to sit on his knees, warm hands wrapped around your shoulders bringing you into his naked chest “Baby you could never bother me. I-I know you didn't grow up in a household where you could talk about your feelings but I’m not your mom, I’m your husband, you can tell me anything ok?” you felt him kiss your forehead as you were brought back down to the bed. 
You were having trouble registering his next words, his previous statement building a sensation through you, shoulders tensing, and stomach knotting as warning bells sounded in your head that you were about to crumble. 
“I’m here for you, always. But you just have to talk to me” with one arm around you he used his other to manoeuvre the cover to sit over the both of you before wrapping his arms tightly around you. “Ok” you whispered against him “Ok?” he breathed back “Ok”.
You pulled away from him to look up at his face, eyes swimming with infinite love for you, pink lips tugging into a smile. You kissed those same lips, smiling up at him once you broke apart, both the furious insistence that you not let his words get to you and the fact that his smile could light up a room made the worry slowly melt away. Eyes flitting down to his lips deciding to kiss him again, and again, and again until suddenly you were moving on the mattress to straddle his hips. Slowly hardening cock pressing against your thong as a hand came down to grab desperately at your ass. 
Well that switched up quickly, he thought, but he couldn’t bring himself to continue the conversation. A subconscious decision he would find out later, might not have been the best idea. But his body worked faster than his brain, skin on fire with the feeling of you against him.
A groan left Eddie's throat as your tongue licked at his lips, begging for entrance while simultaneously beginning to grind against him. “Hmmph fuck” he breathed as his hand slid under your shirt, grabbing hungrily at your tit. You continued like that for a near minute before a wicked idea popped into your head, sure it was cruel but it was too fun of an opportunity to pass up. 
You pulled away from him and sat up, a look of surprise spreading over Eddies face as his hand slipped from under your shirt “I don't wanna do this” you breathed, “What?” he whispered, you could hear the confusion in his voice “This” you gestured between your bodies “We don't have to if you don't want to, we can just you know, do it another time” his hands found yours in an attempt to reassure you. “No Eddie like… at all” it was so difficult not to burst out laughing as Eddie looked up at you extremely confused, slight hurt and disappointment peaking through his gaze.
“But-but we had sex” he was trying to wrap his head around the whole thing, not understanding how you switched up so fast, again, you initiated the kiss after all. “Just because we had sex doesn't mean we have to” one of his hands left yours to run through his hair in an attempt to cool his annoyance. “But if we both want to?” you shrugged “I guess, but I don't want to” the fact that you weren't climbing off him was just confusing him further “So were just.. back to no sex?” 
“I dunno Eddie, it's just not the same” you sighed. 
“Not the same?” he was deeply frowning now. 
“It's not… fun… anymore” you had to avoid his gaze in order to stifle off your laughing. “It's not fun?” he inquired, voice raising in pitch to show his utter confusion. You couldn't help let out the snort bubbling from the back of your throat. You looked up at him and suddenly burst out in full laughter “Oh you fucking-” he breathed a sigh of relief as you laughed maniacally. 
“You should have seen your face!” you wheezed as he wrapped his arms around you, bringing your body shaking with laughter back down to him “Not nice” he pouted. You looked up “I’m sorry” you mimicked his pout “You want me to make it up to you?” cupping his cheek as you spoke before sitting up and running your hands down his chest and stomach slowly. Eddie cleared his throat when he understood what you were insinuating “Ahem I mean only if you want to” you flashed him a cheeky grin as you slid down his thighs. 
Bending down to peck at his lips you began trailing kisses down his torso, it was his turn to be embarrassed now so you opted for leaving a trail of hickies all the way down to the hem of his boxers, looking up at him with those eyes he always swore would be the death of him as you effectively palmed him over the fabric. 
This was too god to be true, not only had he gotten to eat you out, and then fuck you after months and months of desperation, but you were now sliding further down his thighs, planting yourself on his calves about to give him a fucking blow job. Yep, it was too good to be true. 
You hummed seductively as you pulled his boxers down under his balls to reveal his excruciatingly hard cock, precum beginning to collect and dribble from his concealed tip, pooling just under his navel. He let out a strained sigh as he felt your soft lips connect with his undercarriage, a soft kiss to the velvety skin which had him near panting. 
In an agonisingly slow pace you kissed down his shaft, each kiss further spurring his heavy breathing on until a soft moan left his throat at the sensation of your tongue sliding up hot from the bottom of his shaft to the top. Your soft fingers wrapped lightly around his tip, one lazy stroke bringing his angry red tip to view beneath the skin, he couldn't help the borderline loud groan as he felt your tongue kitten lick at his slit, humming at the taste of his precum. “Mmm you missed this baby?” your voice was smooth and sultry like velvety smoke as you spoke, pulling back to adore the view of Eddie's half lidded eyes staring up at you in desperation and need as his hands gripped the sheets so hard his knuckles were threatening to turn white. “Y-yeah” he stuttered, trying his best at keeping his voice level and not letting it fall into a high pitched whine, inevitably revealing his pathetic need for you to touch him. A need which was unfamiliar to him, something so strong he hadn't felt it since he was a teenager and it was his first time doing this, it was intimidating. 
“Yeah? You been thinking about this alot?” you stroking him lazily up and down was not helping him mask his desperation, each time revealing his tip before hiding it again, much too slowly for his liking. “Fuck, so much” he let his eyes flutter shut, soaking up each and every sensation of your hands on him instead. “Yeah been thinking about my lips wrapped around this big cock? Sucking as if my life depended on it?” at this point you were revelling in his poorly hidden desperation and spurring it on was only feeding your ego more. “Look at you, so desperate. Maybe I should hold off more, watch you work yourself up until you're just a whining mess beneath me more often? I’ve barely touched you baby” you hummed, tightening your grip only slightly. 
“No!” Eddie almost shouted at your suggestion, eyes snapping open to look at your evil smirk. “P-please don't- don't do that” all you did was hum at his pleading. Bending down you softly wrap your lips around his tip, sucking with minimal effort yet it still has his hips bucking up into you, forcing nearly half his cock down your mouth, only stopping with the resistance of the back of your throat. 
You hum in faux annoyance as you release him with a pop, “So desperate, you have no self control baby” to further accentuate your point you pin him with a harsh stare and a pout as he opens his eyes again “I’m sorry” the whisper is so quiet it nearly goes unrecognisable as spoken words to your ears, but you hear it and you grin wickedly as you soak up the scene before you. Your husband beneath you with your hand wrapped around him as another rubs softly up and down his thigh, bringing the sparse hair with you and then smoothing it over again. His slack jaw betrays the absolute bliss he's experiencing at the feeling of pushing at your throat only seconds before. Eyes glossed over and dripping with infinite adoration but also pure unfiltered hunger. 
You hum again at his response, wrapping your lips around the tip and forcing his hips down with your free hand at the prospect of him bucking up into you again. A strangled whine leaves his throat as he writhes beneath you, his neck stretching taut to reveal thick muscles as his eyes roll to the back of his head. There's a thought to bring your hand up and squeeze at those same muscles but you dismiss it as his hips start to shake slightly, the task of forcing them down more pressing than choking him slightly. 
You bob up and down on his tip a few times, what makes up only a near fifth of his cock threatening to be too much for your mouth to handle. A desperate whine leaves his lips as you pull off him with another pop, his eyes opening once again to understand why you released him, they fall closed again, crinkling at the corners as he screws his face up when he feels your hot tongue run over one of his balls. 
“Fuck!” he's way too close to being loud enough that everybody else will hear him at this point. You bring him into your mouth, sucking gently while still lazily stroking him, he’s releasing a mix of whines and whimpers when your tongue traces patterns on the soft skin before moving to the other after a few seconds, giving his other side the same treatment. 
You release him again to watch his screwed up face, his hand not soon before finding yours and grasping onto you in a bone breaking hold. “Look at you” you tut “So desperate, whimpering even” you chuckle lightly as he opens his eyes to glare at you “Hm” you hum in faux pity as you sit up slightly, hand on his hip working its was up to cup his cheek, sliding down and pulling at his bottom lip with your thumb, watching it slap back into place. “Don't worry baby, just tell me what you want”. 
“N-need you..” he closed his eyes in embarrassment after voicing his request “Need me to do what pretty boy?” he whines at the pet name, writhing beneath you in desperation as he tried to will his mind to stop blocking him for telling you what he wanted. “S-suck” is all he manages to get out. You ponder the idea of pushing him further but he looks so desperate from where you're sat, you decide to indulge him, humming pitifully before bending back down and wrapping your lips around his tip, sucking him down to half his length and then back up again. 
You repeat the process revelling in the desperate groans and now only occasional whines as you tongue at his cock. The hand not holding yours finds its rightful place at the root of your hair, tugging slightly as he guides you up and down. You increase your pace and hear his groans go louder as well as feel his thighs tensing tremendously. “Shh baby you gotta be quiet” you whisper as you come up for a deep breath. He works his fingers out of yours to bite down on his flexed knuckles. You hum in approval and go back to his cock, determined to take him deeper you force him down to the back of your throat, taking deep breaths through your nose each time you pull up. 
With your now free hand you opt for massaging his balls lightly, close to laughter as his hips buck up, this time not restraining him. 
For only a mere 15 seconds you get to continue before you feel his whole body shake beneath you, one particular thrust of his hips unveiling his angry red head, millions of nerves on fire as they brush over your tongue and throat causing his inevitable orgasm. That and the fact that his hand is pressing your head down as far as you'll go, forcing his cock right down your throat, while his sack tenses in your hand, is the only sign of him no longer teetering over the edge but about to fall right off it. It’s all the warning you get before hot spurts of cum shoot down your throat as he groans loudly against his hand.
It feels as though your lungs begin to close up as his neverending release continues. Finally however his shaking simmers under your touch and you pull off him quickly, panting to find your breath again. As you pull away his hand slips from your hair to thud against the mattress. 
Once you've found a steady pace of breathing again you look down and chuckle breathily, Eddie's face is still screwed up and he's biting down hard on his knuckles, no doubt leaving marks. His abs are prominent as he still clenches his stomach, as well as all his other muscles. Your hands sliding smoothly over his torso has him fully relaxing beneath you, he's still panting heavily after his orgasm but each breath slowing by the second. 
You grin as you climb off him and fall onto the mattress next to him, even after you've pulled his boxers back up and wriggled your way under the duvet he's still in the same position, finally softening his features and letting his hand fall to his side. With his eyes still closed you pick up his hand to inspect the deep red indents in his skin, beads of blood collecting in each. 
Eventually he opens his eyes to find you grinning down at him “Holy shit” he breathes as he rolls over on his side, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to his chest. “I have never seen you that desperate” you giggle as he grasps onto your hand against his chest “Shut up” he chuckles as he closes his eyes and snuggles his forehead against the top of your head. “I mean jesus dude”, he only hugs you tighter in response. 
Suddenly he pulls away from you, looking down at you intensely “Wait, was this all a distraction?” you frown at his words “Do you actually not want to have sex anymore?” his face is painted with worry and desperation for an answer. “Jesus Eddie can’t I just suck your dick?” you laugh, his face relaxing into exaggerated and with a shrug he says “No you can” you giggle again and nuzzle your face into his chest. 
-
Just as the night before it seemed that no matter how you fell asleep you always ended up on your side with Eddie curled up behind you. Eddie woke up suddenly, rushing out of bed to get to the bathroom as he passed his kids in the hall making their way to your room, not stopping to say good morning before ripping the door open and shuffling inside. 
“Moooom” you awoke with a scream as you found Roxettes widely grinning face less than an inch away from your own, “Jesus christ” you sighed as Roxy laughed and made her way over to her sister rooting through the bags. “What’s this?” Ophelia asked curiously as she held up a blood red lace teddy, you jumped out of bed ripping it away from her hands and shoving it into a ball back into the bag it came from. She frowned “It's just underwear” you sighed as she continued frowning “It didn't look like underwear”, “Well it was”.
As Eddie came back to the room he was greeted by the full view of your ass as you bent over to look through the bag next to Roxette who was now viewing her two outfit options she had laid out on the bed and Ophelia nagging you to find her swimsuit. He cleared his throat, alerting you all to his presence “Oh hi, can you go check downstairs if Ophelia's bikini is there?” your voice was rushed as you quickly turned back to look through the bag. “Sure” was all he said before he was out the door without a second thought. 
As you suggested Ophelia find her clothes for the day while Dad looked for her swimsuit, the Dad himself leisurely made his way across the hall and down the stairs. Gareth burst out laughing as well as Luke and Jeff who were all sat around the kitchen table. “What?” he asked as he made his way over to the couch, spotting the swimsuit immediately. “Real sexy man” Jeff commented as Eddie stood back up, suddenly realising he was in nothing but his boxers he instinctively covered his crotch with both hands. “Guess she got you back then” Luke gestured to his chest and down his stomach laughing as Eddie looked down to see the trail of hickies down his torso. 
“Man fuck all of yall, least I’m getting some” he gave the group the finger as he promptly walked past the armchairs and up the stairs. 
“Dad you have bruises too” Roxette slapped a hand to Eddie's stomach, causing him to groan as he threw the bikini at Ophelia, unintentionally throwing it at her face, she frowned as she picked the items off her head. “Mhm, yep” he pulled the shirt you had thrown at him in response to his attack on your daughter, over his head. 
-
Breakfast had been eaten and Eddie said his goodbye as you gathered the girls and took them down with you to the beach. Pulling all his things out of his pockets he haphazardly tossed them onto the coffee table before joining Jeff, Luke, Gareth, Steve and Jonathan out on the dock where they were throwing the canoes into the water. 
Within 10 minutes they were all in their boats and paddling away, Eddie and Jeff sharing one, Luke and Steve, and Garet and Jonathan sharing the others. 
“This reminds me of when we were 14 going out on Lovers lake” Eddie commented as they slowed down a few hundred yards away from shore, “Got my first boob that time we all went together” Gareth supplied proudly, “I know you did, it was my wife, and may I add accidental” Eddie grumbled as the group laughed. “No regrets, perfect tits” the group exploded with laughter as Eddie threatened that he had no issue jumping out of his canoe and pulling Gareth out of his. 
“Alright Emmerson, that all you think about? Chicks?” Luke laughed, “Yeah relax dude most of us got daughters” Steve added, “That's all you guys think about too, especially this guy” he pointed towards Eddie “Difference is, I can do something about it”
“That's not true! Alright it's true” Eddie laughed.
“You wanna know what I fantasise about?” Luke asked as he stared at the back of Steve's head, turning to Gareth and Jonathan he continued, “Candy-bars”
“Candy-bars?” Jeff laughed, “No, I had a bad blood sugar test at my last checkup and Simone cut me off” Luke threw his hands out in slight annoyance as he explained. “You're a grown ass man, how do you deal with that?” Jeff accused as Luke placed his paddle in the boat and leaned back with his hands behind his head “Oh, I got my own hidden stash, I’m not stupid” the group laughed as he continued “Seriously, I got it all. I got Reese’s, Butterfingers, 3 musketeers. I hide ‘em under my clothes in the bottom of the hamper” he demonstrated with his hands before rowing again “It's great because the smell in my sweat socks masks the chocolate smell”
“And the looks of your underwear match the chocolate stains” Jonathan laughed, earning the same reaction from the rest of them. “Hey, hey, hey, hang on, guys I gotta make a sissy” Steve held his hand out, seemingly not distinguishing between his kids and a group of men when it came to his wording. The group began protesting as Steve repeated himself in a shout “I gotta make a sissy!”
“Come on, you made three already!” Jeff groaned, “It must be just oozing out at this point” Steve gave Jonathan the finger as he stood up in the boat “Shut up I’m trying to concentrate”. “It’s taking a piss, not the SATs” Eddie rolled his eyes “Yeah you should know, you took 21 of them”
“Fuck off” 
Steve screwed his face up in concentration as the group heard his intermittent stream, Eddie held his hand out in confusion “Are you peeing or is a diesel truck turning off? What the hell is that?”
“Listen to hamper bottom” Luke laughed “I think he’s sending a message in morse code” he held his finger up “Getting old. Stop. Can’t pee. Stop. Reeks like asparagus. Stop. Even though I didn't even have any. Stop.” he laughed as Eddie spoke “The good news is these girls are gonna have to say hi to it” he waved as a motorboat full of girls in bikinis drove by. “What’s up ladies?” he grinned. 
“Hey girls!” Gareth waved enthusiastically, the group of girls shouted complaints at the men as Steve awkwardly waved at them, “They don't all look like that ladies” Jonathan grinned. Just as Luke was about to say something Steve turned, spraying a little bit over the front of his t-shirt before turning back to the water “Aah! Come on!” he whined. 
-
After a near hour round trip they made it back, Luke swearing as he ran off to throw on a clean shirt, without warning Eddie ripped his own off, tossing it onto the wood as he slipped his shoes off and cannonballed right in between you, Ophelia and Roxette. Both girls squealed as you splashed him in the face when he resurfaced. “Asshole” you shrieked as you pounced on him, dunking his head under the water with force from behind. 
Before you had a chance to react you felt Eddie's hands wrap around your thighs and before you knew it you were hoisted into the air on his shoulders. You didn't even get a chance to breathe before he flung you off to back-flop into the water. As you resurfaced both girls were already hounding their father for him to do the same for them, you giggled as you watched him throw your eldest off him. As he continued you gazed around the beach, the water filled with happy little kids splashing away as the group canoeing collected on the wooden chairs not far from the various towels scattered over the beach with various occupants. 
Out of the corner of your eye you noticed Holly sat next to Ariana watching intently, you rolled your eyes and chose to ignore her, instead joining in with throwing the kids about. 
-
The kids had set up a blanket fort in the attic and were all gathered munching on their sandwiches as the adults ate their lunch in the mixture of a dining and living room. “Oh Rob, can you pass me my wallet” Eddie raised his voice as he sat next to most of the younger ‘kids’ by the dining table, Robin looked up from her conversation with Charlotte and Winter on the couch and motioned towards the black leather on the table, “Yeah that one” Robin picked it up and flung it across the room towards him as something slipped out and floated to the floor in front of Gareth who was making his way to the fridge for a beer. 
Eddie caught his wallet and frowned as he saw Gareth bend down and pick up a polaroid, “Is this you?!” he exclaimed in surprise, clutching the photo Gareth turned to you in one of the arm chairs “Huh?” you asked as you looked up. Before Gareth had the chance to show you Eddie was jumping over the table, knocking a glass of juice over in the process and ripping the polaroid away from Gareth's hands with a “Give me that!”
“Holy shit!” Gareth exclaimed as Eddie shoved the photo back into his wallet “What?” you placed your plate on the floor and stood up, walking over to Eddie who was now giving Gareth a death glare. You pulled the wallet from Eddie, opening it up to see the same family photo from when the kids were 4 and 7 in the plastic pocket. Examining it further you realised a collection of polaroids were shoved in one of the pockets for dollar bills. 
You gasped as you pulled them out, looking up to Eddie's embarrassed and awkward face as he shoved his hands in his pockets. You felt Gareth leaning over your shoulder as you looked through them and quickly pulled away from him. “I thought you kept these at home” you whispered angrily as Gareth chuckled and continued his mission of getting a drink. 
“Well I didn't” Eddie answered sheepishly as you continued looking through them. A whole collection of photos from one particular night where both girls had been away at a school sleepover, leaving the house empty for the both of you in late September of last year. It seemed the photos had been kept in the order they had beentaken in, a couple showing you in lacy black underwear with thigh garders connecting to your hips, one in the doorway and one stood between Eddies thighs, a few more of you giving Eddie a blow job, one of Eddie eating you out, one of your bare pussy, one of you on your back holding your legs up to your chest, pussy on show as well as every other intimate part of you, four of just your naked upper body, laid on the bed, staring up at the photographer with an assortment of fuck me eyes and wide, open mouth, eyes rolled back’s and one last one, crumpled up seemingly the one Gareth had seen. 
You on your back, breasts free from their confines and spilling to the side, eyes closed and a happy smile on your face, and long thick ropes of cum painting your stomach and chest. 
“Is this the one he saw?” you whisper, it seemed the rest of the group had gone back to their conversations after the interruption “Yeah..” you give a bratty and annoyed grunt as you shove the photos back into Eddie's wallet and thrust it into his chest angrily. He takes it and makes a show of stuffing it into his pocket before you turn away and sit back down in your arm chair. 
He was so fucked, and it seemed not only he knew it but the rest of the table who were looking at him with awkward sympathy, as well as Gareth grinning wickedly, not only from the photo but your reaction to it. He wasn't sure what to do, you were making it quite obvious you didn't want to talk to him given the fact that your back was now turned to him, half twisted in your chair. He felt like he should talk to you about it, apologise, but instead his feet steered him back to the table, “Shit” he mumbled under his breath as he saw Dustin bent down cleaning up the juice with a rag “Here let me” he grabbed the towel and continued mopping up the spilled drink, wringing it out in the sink and hanging the towel up on the oven handle he caught an annoyed glare from you which made him fold in on himself as he sat back down. 
He took his chance to talk to you as he heard you excuse yourself to the bathroom, cornering you just outside the door. “Babe, I am so sorry” he pleaded as you turned to face him, you looked behind him to see Mike walking down the hall and quickly grabbed his hand, pulling him into the bathroom and locking the door. 
“Are you ok?” his voice was soft as he spoke to you, leaning up against the counter as you turned and made a beeline for the toilet. “I’m fine, I’m just..” you took a second to think over your words as you pulled your calf-long green flowery skirt up and in turn your underwear down, “embarrassed” you finished as you sat down. “I’m sorry, I wasn't thinking when I asked Robin to throw it” he spoke as you began peeing. 
“It’s fine” you sighed as you wiped and stood up, bumping his hip with yours to get him to move away from the sink. He wrapped his arms around you as you washed your hands. “Is it actually fine or is this one of those times where you say it's fine but it's actually not?” his eyes found yours in the mirror, moving with you as you dried your hands and spun around in his grasp. “It's actually fine” you couldn't help the small tug of your lips as you looked up at his wide eyes. 
A smile painted his features as he saw your face “They been in there the whole time?” you snort slightly when he nods, “What do you even do with them?” definitely a stupid question, but for some reason you wanted to hear him say it. “What do you think I do with them?” he laughed “I jerk off to them, obviously” he rolled his eyes playfully as you grinned. 
“That what you do when you spend an hour in the shower without it even running?” your eyebrows tugged down as you tried stifling an ever wider smirk, “Yeah as if you hadn't already figured that out” you shrug as he fakes a look of exasperation “At least you're not making the water bill worse than it already is” he rolled his eyes again. “Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there” The sentence this time said under slightly nicer circumstances. Your grin breaks into a giggle as he begins tickling you. 
After some shrieking at him to stop he finally does, and when you catch your breath you look up at him again “What else do you jerk off to?” he snorts a laugh at the sudden change in demeanour but looks down at you with some trace of seriousness “Mostly just that kind of stuff” he shrugs, he definitely had a lot more photos stashed at home, but he had to admit that little collection was by far his favourite “Really? For six months? Jesus Christ, aren't you bored of my body yet?” 
“I’m beginning to think you're the one with no brain now, I’d never get tired of your body” he squeezes you ass playfully, beaming when you giggle again.
“I just remembered I brought my yoga tape, we could do a little yoga sesh tomorrow, what do you think?” is the first thing you hear as Charlotte makes her way up to you with a beaming smile, pearly whites on show as she holds her hand together above her stomach hopefully. “Sure, sounds fun” Charlotte jumps happily as you feel Eddie kiss your cheek before walking back to the dining table. 
-
Eden and Argyle set up games for the kids outside as the rest of you are scattered about the property. You smile as you hear shrieking from the kids playing tag, happily chatting to a group on the wrap around porch as Vickie paints your now acrylic nails. She's gone through most of the people who wanted their nails done by now, including Eddie who got black and white spider webs painted on his natural nails, over the moon that she got so many people to practise on in preparation for her new job as a nail tech. 
“Hot” Eddie grins as he leans over your shoulder to see your medium length, almond shaped, blood red extensions, you grin up at him and peck his lips when he bends down, your kiss cut short as he shuffles to the side to let Roxette through, sick of running around she lets out a loud sigh as she finds a seat in your lap. “Whatcha doooin?” she asks as she inspects Vickies work “Getting our nails done, you wanna?” she happily nods and tells Vickie “Can I have black? Like monster nails, this long!” she shows an exaggerated length by holding her hands apart a near foot, Vickie looks up at you concerned as you turn to your daughter, “Maybe not that long baby, how about something like this” you show on your own nails, now finished as Vickie switches the UV light off, demonstrating half the length of what you have. 
She sighs but agrees and you ask Vickie if that's ok, to which she nods before going to work on a fresh set of nails. 
“Dad look!” she squeals as she finds him laying in the grass next to Jonathan, Argyle and Dustin who's playing with Willow. “Wow!” he exclaims in mildly faux excitement, “Aren't they a little long?” concern paints his features as he holds onto her hands “Moms are longer” is all the argument she gives before running off to watch Ophelia get her nails painted bubblegum pink. 
-
The clock neared 9 pm as everyone sat gathered in the empty boathouse to watch Dustin's homemade movie screen, Star Wars: A New Hope playing in the projector as it shows on the white bedsheet hanging on the wall. Most of Hellfire spent the afternoon dragging down couches and armchairs from the basement, setting out snacks and drinks as well as multiple blankets and pillows to set up movienight. Pizza had been ordered and now you were comfortably snuggled up to the arm of a couch as Roxetted curled up in your lap, watching intently. Ophelia sat with the Harringtons barely paying any attention as they whispered to each other excitedly. 
Next to you sat Eddie who had Jeff and Tracy on his other side, all munching away on their slices of pizza, both Jeff and Eddie watching intently as you and Tracy giggled at their intense gazes despite them having seen the movie hundreds of times. From the other side of the room Robin waved a pack of cigarettes at you, a silent invitation for you to join her, you grinned and nodded before bowing your head down to whisper “Think you can sit with Dad for a little bit?” in Roxettes ear. She nodded and with her eyes never leaving the screen she shifted over, pizza slice hanging from her mouth while she plopped down in Eddie's lap. 
The scene was absolutely comical, Eddie automatically moving his plate out of the way and settling her in his lap while both of them never wavered in their watching the movie. You left both of them to awkwardly climb over people on the floor, whispering sorry’s until you got to the door. 
Robin handed you the packet of cigarettes and you lit one as you walked off the peer and onto the grass, sitting down next to her. “So Vickies becoming a nail tech” you kept your voice quiet, it seemed a shame to disturb it as silence fell over Muskegon, the only sound being the movie playing softly in the background. “Yeah, she's real excited, I’m proud of her” you smiled at the love Robin had for her girlfriend. “How’s it going with the ring?” when Robin had first announced that she was going to propose you, Nancy and Steve were all over the moon, squealing excitedly and talking nonstop about the wedding. 
“Picking it up on sunday next week, called today” she grinned “Yeah that's why I asked doofus” suddenly the door opened and you both turned to see Nancy making her way across the wood panelling making grabby hands as she got closer. 
-
The three of you sat chatting for a near 40 minutes until the door opened again, gaining the attention of all three of you, you stood up when you saw Eddie carrying Roxette, her arms flung over his shoulders as her head bobbed with each step. “Want me to take her?” you whispered once you got to them, you smoothed your hand over her curls which she had inherited from her father, “You sure?” he stood with his side to you, showing her peaceful face as she slept in his arms. “Yeah, go watch the movie” you whispered back. She stirred as he handed her over to you with a thanks, you waved a hand to the girls, telling them you'd be back in a few. 
Walking back with Roxette in your arms proved to be heavier with each step but eventually you made it down to the basement and placed her on the mattress next to Ophelias, making sure to be as quiet as possible as to not wake the other kids who had been unfortunate enough to miss the movie due to their age. Slipping her shoes off as well as her jean shorts and tucking her into bed you gave a kiss to her forehead. When you were certain she was asleep you tiptoed back out the room and up the stairs. 
-
Once the movie was over and most of the stuff from the boathouse was brought back inside you both tucked Ophelia to bed. “Ugh I forgot I have to shower” you groan once you step over the threshold to your bedroom walking straight to the bench across from you to pick up your toiletries and towel. “I gotta shower too but you go first I’ll just wait here” Eddie says as he sits down on the foot of the bed, “We can.. shower together if you want” you suggest as you make your way back to the door. 
Nah this was just too much, only a few days ago he wasn't even touching you and now you wanted to shower with him? Was he high? Was this all a dream? Was he gonna wake up tomorrow to find himself back on day one of this trip, disappointed because you hadn't wanted to do anything despite the change of scenery? 
“Hello?” you wave a hand in front of his face, “Huh what?” he shakes his head and looks up at you “I said we can shower together, if you want to?” 
“Hell yes” he stands up so quickly you think he might fall over, but instead he just rushes to snatch his towel up and tap your ass to get you out the door. “How are you already hard??” you whisper as he eagerly tears his shorts down and steps out of them, hard cock slapping his stomach before standing out proudly, “I’m getting to shower with my wife” he says with wide eyes as he pulls his shirt over his head, leaving him in nothing but a silver chain, a deep red pick with your name written in acrylic resting below his collarbone “You do realise shower means shower right? It's not a codeword for sex” you explain as you pull your thin corroded coffin t-shirt over your head. 
“Still, it's you, naked” he grins as you unclasp your bra, you roll your eyes playfully as he watches you like a child promised candy. “Well get in then” you gesture to the shower, pulling your bra off and letting it fall to the floor. He walks slowly, eyes never leaving your figure as you pull your skirt down. “Jesus Eddie, you've seen me naked like a million times” you laugh after he knocks his shins into the bathtub wall, he grins sheepishly as he steps over it. 
He shakes his head as if to force out all of his dirty thoughts before turning the shower on, the fact that Eden had just stepped out of the shower minutes before played in his favour. He stepped under the stream of warm water after checking the temperature with his hand, running his hair back and away from his face he soaks up the feeling of the water pattering against his skin. 
He turns instantly when he hears you step over the small wall and into the bath, not giving you a second to hang your toiletry bag up next to him before circling his arms around you, inevitably pressing his hard cock against the soft dough that is the middle of your stomach.
You reach behind him and fumble blindly until you manage to hook the bag onto one of the metal bars connecting to a shelf already full of wash products. When you pull your arm back you wrap it around his neck to join your hands behind him. 
Eddie hums happily and squeezes you tighter, when the hug stretches to 20 seconds long you pull away from him, “As much as I do like hugging you I did actually come in here to shower” he rolls his eyes and groans as he lets you move around him to stand in the firing range of the water. 
His hand stops you before you can wrap your fingers around the shampoo bottle, non-verbally telling you he would do it, you shrug and smile at him. You tip your head back slightly as he squirts a hefty amount of frosty gel into his hand, rubbing both together before smoothing them down the surface of your hair. 
You let an open mouthed hum escape your lips as the tips of his fingers begin massaging your scalp, you feel his hands twitch for a second at the sound before no doubt pushing through and continuing his work in your hair. 
You decide not to tease him by making the sound again, instead you stay quiet and enjoy the sweet and in some way, very much needed, moment between the two of you. It seems Eddie drags the time out of washing your hair because by the time his hands retract you’ve closed your eyes in a lull while a content daze creeps through you. 
You whisper a thanks as you turn around, you close your eyes and bring your arms up to run your fingers through your hair and rinse under the water. Not noticing as Eddie's eyes trail down your body. Soaking up every beautiful sight that he’s rewarded with, from your relaxed face, down your thick arms, soft skin pulled with the weight of gravity, to the litter of fading hickies running down your neck to your collarbones, further to your now slightly perkier tits, weight following your raised arms. Down to your soft stomach and hips, he leans back to examine you further, wispy hairs curling over your mound, plush squishy thighs to your calves. He always argued with you when you called them chicken legs and watching you now even strengthened his point that you were wrong. 
He snaps his eyes back to yours as you pull your head forward and open your eyes. This time you don’t reach for the next item in your routine, instead you turn around as Eddie pulls the conditioner from the plastic pocket. 
Once he’s gone through the motions of running his hands through your hair, smoothing product into the strands you motion for him to switch places. He stands expectantly before you as you sigh, “Babe I hate to break it to you but you're like 6 foot 3, you either gotta bend down or sit on your knees” you chuckle as you can feel him roll his eyes at you. “Mm, you want me on my knees, kinky” he grins at you from over his shoulder, bright teeth on show as he grins wider at your mimic of his reaction, you roll your eyes. 
The first thing he says as your fingers come into contact with his own scalp is “Ugh I’ve missed this” his feet slotted between yours after he folded himself down to his knees against the ceramic. “What having someone else wash your hair cuz’ you’re too lazy?” chuckling you work your fingers through his hair, making sure to get every square inch, partly to prolong the moment just like he had but also because you know damn well he is actually too lazy to wash his precious curls properly. You giggle as he nips at your thigh gently, “Shut up, I wash my hair” he grumbles, “You sure? Because there seems to be a lot of dandruff here” another nip to the thigh has you laughing again, the volume dampening quickly when you remember there are people on the other side of both walls. 
“Shut up” he laughs, for a long time that sound hadn't had any particular effect on you, but in this particular moment, you feel the formerly black, now neutral, vines colour in a bright shades of golden orange hues. Happiness flowing through you from your chest as his genuine, honest laugh plays like music to your ears. 
You let the gold take over you, all the way up to your mind as you rest content with Eddie's head in your hands for a few minutes. Both of you sulk at the all too soon retraction of your hands, after rinsing your hands you let them trail from his shoulders as he stands up, you smack his ass playfully before he turns to face you. Just as he opens his mouth to give a snarky remark you beat him to the punches, “How, how are you still hard? All I did was wash your hair!” you gesture your hands toward the near 8 inches which keeps the two of you apart, he shrugs happily as he washes the product out of his hair. “I’ll give you three guesses” he smirks down at you. 
In retaliation you spin around and back up into him, forcing him against the shower wall and in turn you under the water “Hey, wha-”, “Need to get the conditioner out” you shrug as you let the mixture of cream and water run down his front. “Not fair” he fakes a pout as he wraps his arms around you “Can you at least move?” without his hands ever leaving you, the two of you shuffle around and switch places. 
He’s trying so hard, he really is, but he can't stop himself from pressing up against you and slotting himself between the globes of your ass. Even though his dirty mind was being painstakingly presented to you he still wanted to respect your obvious hinting at no sex. But as he feels himself surrounded by your wet skin he can't help the moan that slips from the back of his throat. 
You sigh and turn in his hold once your hair is clean “Do you want me to suck your dick? Is that what this is?” there's a hint of annoyance painted across your features as he looks down at you “What? No! I just, I dunno’, babe you're naked, its extremely difficult to practise self restraint right now” you stare up at him expectantly “We don't have to do anything just let me feel you” the shrug he gives up doesn't portray any sort of casualness as his face pleads with you. 
“Fine” you grin and point a finger at him “But when you're actually on your knees, begging, I will be giving you an ‘I told you so’” he sticks his tongue out in retaliation with a “Try me” murmured through a smirk. “You really wanna go down that road?” you raise your eyebrows, feeling smug as Eddie makes a face of nonchalance “Alright, no sex and no touching and I’ll give you 20 bucks” you wait expectantly until Eddie pulls away from you, hand held out in offering “Heh deal” and you shake on it. 
“Now you just stand there and look pretty so I can get on with my shower” you hide a sneaky smirk as you turn and pull the body wash from the bag, face neutral as you turn again with a handful of soapy liquid. Eddie's smug face falls way too fast as he watches you transition from lathering it onto your arms to smoothing your hands over the swell of your tits. 
You grin evilly at him but it goes unbeknownst to him as his eyes are trained on the way your plump flesh moves rhythmically with your hands. “Giving me my 20 bucks yet?” you tease as you hold your tits up, bouncing them slightly against each other. Eddie shakes his head as if snapping himself out of his trance and manages to meet your gaze “Never” he whispers with narrowed eyes. You shrug and continue your way down your torso. 
You know you have him when you turn around, spreading your legs wide and bending down to work your way up your calves. The muffled squeak you hear from behind as Eddie is met by your pussy on full display furthers your knowledge of winning this little impromptu contest, but when you hear a sharp intake of breath and the sound of feet pattering once, twice, away from you, you begin to falter, maybe he’s stronger than you anticipated. 
You stand up annoyed and quickly spin around, met by Eddies guilty looking face and a hand ripping away from his dick you groan mildly “I said no touching, that includes yourself”, “I wasn't!” he quickly jumps to offence “You're a shit liar babe” you laugh, “Fine, you get your $20, now can I please touch you” he holds his hands together as he begs. “Hmm, well I am finished with my shower..” Eddie beams, “But I do need to brush my teeth” you pretend to wonder as his smile falters. 
“If you can wash yourself at the same time.. Fine” his smile shines brighter than the one before it “But you only have so much time, the waters already getting cold and I wanna’ go to bed warm” before you can even say anything else you're being flipped around and bent over by two strong hands at your hips and back. You only just manage to brace yourself on the wall before you feel the head of his cock pressing at your hole, the whine that rings throughout the room resembles one of a bratty teenager as he slips inside all the way to the hilt. 
As he arches his back in strain all you can feel is his hips against yours and his cock buried deep within your walls until he lets out a heavy breath above you and his forehead rests between your shoulder blades. “Did you.. Did you just cum?” you laugh breathlessly, “No” it's an annoyed grumble against your skin “Oh my god! You totally did!” you eyes widen as you twist your neck to find a wet mop of curls splayed across your skin “How?!” he shamefully admits that the scalp massage and press of your tits against the back of his head may have been a little too much for him, and that he may or may not have slipped up for a couple of minutes. 
You slap a hand to your mouth as you roar with laughter, still echoing within the four walls as Eddie slips out of you and you turn around, “Shame, I was looking forward to a good showerfuck” you tut but break out into a sympathetic grin as you realise he’s properly ashamed of himself, with a hand cupping his cheek you reassure him “Baby it's ok” when his face contorts into a pained one you tell him “Seriously baby it's ok, happens to the best of us” he rolls his eyes at you. 
You press a kiss to his lips and then to his forehead before you tell him to switch places with you so you can do the bodywash. His shame melts away as your hands slide over his inked skin, smooth fingers running over the anatomical angel, wings spreading far over his shoulder blades, its feet resting over a series of tattooed vertebra that runs down his own spine. 
-
After what must have been half an hour shower the both of you tiptoe across the floorboards in your towels, quickly changing into fresh underwear and wrap yourselves up with each other after you've dropped a t-shirt on to the floor next to your side of the bed for tomorrow morning. Just as any other night you’re back in his heavy arms, that alone would be enough to make the daze of sleep take over you but it seems it's not enough. You feel as Eddie drifts off into dreamland behind you, his breathing evens out into soft puffs of air and his arms loosen their tight grip around you. 
20 minutes after initially getting into bed you snap your eyes open, stifling a groan of annoyance as you pinch your eyes shut in frustration. The air in the room was humid and stifling, Eddie's arms suddenly felt like they were suffocating you despite them only resting gently around your waist, the comforter only adds to the pressure and within seconds you start to feel like you're being smothered. Technically you could try harder at falling asleep, you could push Eddie off you, kick the blankets away and crack a window but once your eyes focus on your leather handbag leaned up against the wall it's over for you. You slowly slip out of bed, extremely cautious of your husband's sleeping form surrounding you. You throw the shirt over your head and begin your search for the pack of cigarettes hidden at the bottom. 
The soft whine that leaves Eddies throat has your movements halting, bent over in a strain you slowly turn your head to find Eddie rolling onto his back, when it seems he's fallen back asleep you resume your desperate search, a relieved sigh whispers throughout the room as you finally find what you're looking for. When you open it you find that the usual AC/DC lighter shoved between the rolled up papers is gone, you roll your eyes. Before you get the chance to root through your bag further you catch a glimpse of Eddie's zippo in the jumbled mess that was the contents of his pockets poured onto his bedside table. 
Making an effort to be as quiet as possible you make your way around the bed, just as you level with his knees you stop dead in your tracks, another whine echoes in the room, this time frustrated as Eddie turns back on his side and blindly starts patting his hand around your vacant spot. In his sleep filled haze he seems to register your absence because his eyes snap open as his head forces back to examine the empty mattress. The sound of a floorboard creek makes him whip around to face you, he frowns. You can't help but smile as you examine his face, he’s cast in darkness but you can still make out the shape of his furrowed brows above half lidded eyes, predominantly black irises peeking through under his long lashes, his soft laugh lines, etching deeper with each year that passes, a tug of his full pink lips, pursing them as the corners pull down slightly. Your smile turns embarrassed as he sits up “What are you doing?” his voice is laced with sleep, a deep throaty husk as he presses a knuckle to his eyes. 
“Was just going for a smoke, go back to sleep” you whisper, arriving at your destination and pulling his lighter from a tangle of childish hair bobbles, loose change and a deteriorating pack of gum. “Mm mm” he shakes his head “I’ll come with you” before you get a chance to protest he's already pushing the comforter off of him and setting his feet to the floor with a groan. 
Without another word uttered into the silence of the night his hand finds yours and leads you out the door, quietly down the other end of the hall across from you and out onto the balcony. It seems the night air has a positive effect on the both of you, you immediately feel your hot skin cool down as the cold rushes to Eddie's own skin, waking him up. He adjusts his eyes and finds one lonely chair on the old wood, he pats his thigh once he's sat down, gesturing you over. 
You hold the small flame up to Eddie's awaiting cigarette perched between his lips, watching as the rusty colour of orange and red lights up within the tobacco. Eddie's arm wraps around you once again after you tossed both the carton and zippo onto the floor. The cool night breeze brushes against your legs while the scent of smoke, chia shampoo and conditioner, tangerine body wash, a fading old spice and redwood and a musk you could only describe as uniquely Eddie fills your senses. 
You allow yourself to soak up the moment, relaxed in Eddie's lap, a strong arm enveloping your waist, deep blues painting the sky, purely and simply at ease. “I think we should talk” his words break the comfortable silence, your neck stretches to look up at him, head resting on his shoulder “About what?” the softness of his voice eases any worry that most definitely could have bubbled up in your stomach if his tone had been any different when speaking those five words. 
“Sweetheart, I know you have a hard time telling me how you feel about things, but I think it's important you try. I had no idea what you were going through, I still don't. But I feel like it's something I should be made aware of, you know? We need to be able to tell each other things so that we’re on the same wavelength.” you turn your eyes up to the sky as you sigh at his words. 
This was going to be difficult. Throughout your whole childhood you had been told time and time again that showing any trace of feelings was a definite sign of weakness. Even the fact of registering your feelings as not only feelings but allowed, permitted, was something you were partly deeply uncomfortable with and something that was scarcely new to you. Untread territory. A deep breath reaches Eddie's ears as you prepare for the unpreventable fate. 
“She died” you barely manage a whisper as you confess to the incident which happened months ago. The words tasted sour on your tongue, bitter, you hadn't spoken those words to anyone, saying them now made you shudder. “What?” he's having trouble wrapping his head around what you've just said, “My mom.. she died, uh december 18th” both cigarettes left forgotten you find yourself tearing up. The stupid emotions showing your vulnerability only fuels anger, a bead of salty fluid drops down your cheek, you wipe it away in frustration. Why were you even crying? Crying about a mean old drug addict who had abused you all your life, verbally, physically, emotionally. Why were you shedding tears for the woman who kicked you out at 16 after losing your job at the gas station, the job that paid for the trailer you never bared to call a home, the job that paid the bills, the food, the dangerous toxins which she put into her body. 
The woman your own kids believed to have passed away in your early childhood, the woman who you insisted on shielding them from. The same woman who broke down every single part of you until she left you to fend for yourself, to build yourself back up, bit by bit, piece by piece, day by day. 
“She.. she died?” his hot breath fans across your cheek as he nuzzles his face to the side of yours “Why didn't you tell me?” his words are muffled as his lips ghost over your skin. For once in your life you feel yourself let go, if only a miniscule fraction of what normalcy is, you let yourself experience your feelings, with one single hiccup. “I don't know” the sadness in your voice makes his heart break, but still you refuse to let it tremble. “I just, I didn't know how to feel, what to think, I needed time to figure it out” your eyes flutter shut as you manoeuvre your face into the crook of his neck, stubbing your cigarette out on the wall behind him and dropping it to the floor. 
Eddie copies your movements and rests his cheek to the side of your head, he stays silent as he waits for you to continue, “I knew logistically people are sad when their parent dies, but it just made my head spin, I didn't feel sad, I couldn't, not for her.” your voice vibrates against his throat as you speak. 
Eddie knew the two largest reasons as to why you couldn't feel sad, she didn't deserve it, and you simply weren't able to access those emotions. You found some comfort in his awareness, had you been forced to explain everything in intimate detail you would only feel worse. “And the kids didn't know so I couldn't just go around moping so I guess I just… distracted myself?” he knew the reason as to why for that too, endless thoughts swirled around his head as he managed to come to the conclusion that you had been lost, you probably still were. So confused as to how or why you were feeling the way you did, refusing to address the issue head on and finding any way to cope. 
Your hours spent in silence -at home, at work, at any activity you could find and drag out the time with, at events, hanging with all your friends, dinners at Wayne’s- had closed you off, in the moment it may have worked but a nagging thought at the back of his mind told him it didn't. Not for you, not for him, not for the girls. So many thoughts threatened to make his head explode, and in the mix of it was roaring guilt. Guilt from not taking a second to ask how you were, guilt for not realising there was something deeper nestled below the surface, guilt for not only the idea he constantly convinced himself was untrue but actually accusing you of cheating, guilt for selfishly missing you in all ways possible and guilt for only focusing on that. 
“I’m so sorry” unlike yours his voice shook as he spoke, arms wrapping tighter around you in agony. “Why? You don't have to be sorry” he couldn't see the confused frown spread over your face, but it was there. You simply couldn't wrap your head around why a whole other human being was feeling sorry or even affected by your problems. “I-I didn't do anything, or-or say anything, you were clearly struggling and I never knew, I wasn’t there for you” his own water lines began to flood, just as you had he distracted himself, by running a hand up and down your arm. “I didn't do or say anything” you admit, “I should have told you, I just, I was worried, that you would have.. expectations from me, how I would feel, act. Not only that but I think there was just this gnawing thought that you would think there was something wrong, with me, if I didn't do the normal thing and grieve” his hand was now soothing up and down over your hair. 
“Baby, look at me” his hands pulled lightly at your shoulders, gesturing you to turn and straddle him, face to face. “She has never earned the right to your grief” his thumb swiped under your eye as you let out a sob and a hot searing tear rolled down, “She never did a single thing to earn even a glance from you” as your eyes closed tight he continued, “What you did was normal. It was normal for you, there's nothing wrong with not knowing how to go through some things in life, and there's nothing abnormal with trying to process it in your own way” your shoulders threatened to collapse against him but he held on softly to one as he cupped your cheek. “You just need to remember that I'm always here for you, you can tell me anything. I won't judge you, or expect anything from you.”
For the very first time, you actually sat down and accepted your feelings, you accepted them, talked about them and learned to understand them, all thanks to the one person you had shut yourself away from the most. For over an hour you talked, both showing and explaining the raw emotions you found within yourself. By the second hour you walked through the details of what had gone down and at the end you felt a weight lift from your chest as well as some understanding for yourself. A promise was made, to not only communicate with him but also to learn how to access and express what was going on in your head, in therapy. Something that initially seemed so frightening but was slowly dampened with another promise, that Eddie would come with you if you needed him. 
Your mother, or rather the woman who had birthed you but failed to raise you, had been forcefully put in rehab years ago. An expensive resort, you found yourself still keeping her afloat with your hard earned money as you sent in monthly payments. An old ‘friend’ had shown up and before the personnel had a chance to alert you to it, she had escaped. Run off with her friend to, what was probably her opinion, be free. Once some hours had passed they had tried calling you, too busy slaving away for your promotion at work you had missed every single one. When they finally got hold of you, the soft pitiful voice on the other end of the line explained to you how she had been found, collapsed only a yard from the abandoned house occupied by the homeless, with no pulse. 
It was bound to happen, but just because it was destiny that you would come from a broken home didn't mean you yourself had to be broken. An absent father who had bolted the second the pregnancy had been announced to him, and a mother who for 16 years had constantly reminded you of how unwelcome you were in her life. Even up till your thirties where she would filter in and out of your life unwanted. You had kept the secret from your friends and boyfriend for three months, living under the bridge by the docks with only the clothes on your back and a few newspapers you found. You had lied to your friends and explained that your mother had donated all your clothes as punishment for coming home after curfew, a curfew you didn't have and probably wouldn't have been cared about if you did. For 2 months and 3 weeks you lived off a duffle bag of Eddies band shirts and sweatpants. It was bearable, the life you had at the time, even with the thunder storms and hammering rain, but by peak december when the cold was at its worst you realised that wearing multiple layers wouldn't cut it and shamefully knocked on Eddie's door, asking for a place to stay. 
Wayne had become the father and mother you never had, and you would spend your entire lifetime trying to pay him back, but nothing could ever come close to the love he showered you with, the money he spent, the food, clothes, shelter he gave you. 
The time showed 1:26 am when you finally made it back to your room, the cold biting at your skin forgotten until the warm duvet swallowed you whole, a reminder of how extremely cold you were. Wrapped in Eddie's arms, cheek pressed to his chest, you soon fell asleep, no longer sad or gloomy, but tired and happy, every vine in your body glittering with fierce gold. “I love you” the soft whisper from below him made him realise that the words accompanied by your voice were strange to his ears. He hadn't realised it at the time but you had stopped saying those words to him in what must have been mid spring. Tears pricked at his eyes again as he beamed “I love you too” 
(A/N was thinking of leaving it here but I know we’re all horny fucks here so OBVIOUSLY I have to continue)
-
You awoke with a light, happy heart, and just like every other fucking morning, as the little spoon again. Instead of calling them in you pulled yourself out of bed and answered the knock at the door, wrapping your girls up in a warm hug before they had a chance to whiz past you to their clothes. It might have been that you were content with the duration of the hug but it was more probably the fact that both girls were wining and squirming trying to get away from you when they felt they'd been pressed together for too long that you broke apart. You chuckled as you let them go and climbed back into bed, Eddie was still fast asleep, it seemed the giggling voices of two happy little girls weren't enough to wake him from his slumber. 
Although he seemed not to be fully passed out when you shimmied back down the covers once the girls had left, because he hummed happily, and automatically wrapped around you in a warm embrace. After a while he fell back asleep, arms clutching you close to his chest in contentment, his nose buried in the scent of your hair. You began to grin when you felt something familiar poking at your behind, Eddie's morning wood was appearing just as the sun began to rise. Jitters built throughout your body at the sensation, you were no doubt used to waking up just like this, even during your rough patch, but for maybe the first time since the early stages of your relationship, it wasn't just funny and exciting but thrilling. The feeling of Eddie's slowly hardening cock pressing up against you sent tingles up your legs, awakening butterflies that situated in the bottom of your stomach. 
He must have been wavering between being half asleep and fully judging by the fact that he groaned loudly as you wiggled your hips to situate him between your ass cheeks. The groan spurred you on and you forced your hips against his, earning a tighter hug to hold you infinitely closer to him. Your grin widened when he let out a second groan as you forced yourself back again, one final time had his eyes fluttering open and his hand snaking up under your shirt to squeeze softly at your boob. “Morning” your voice was soft to his ears since it came out in a whisper. 
For the first morning in a while the deep raspy “Morning beautiful” had your thighs clenching. Maybe you should talk about your feelings if it made you feel this connected to Eddie and especially this desperate for him. “Love the sound of your voice in the mornings” you chose to push the feeling of spewing random and intimate -to you- thoughts, right down. Forcing them out of sight and allowing you to properly express yourself, even though it may have been an admittedly mild statement. The action, telling him exactly what you were thinking. “Mm you do?” he hummed behind you to which you nodded, hair brushing up and down against his nose. The grin you were fighting off made you once again feel like a teenager, talking to your crush… Holy shit were you flustered? 
“Maybe I should talk like this more often” he was slowly waking up now, slight hints of clarity lacing his voice as he stirred behind you, “You really should” your cheeks were heating up now, Jesus Christ you hadn't felt like this since you were an actual teenager, talking to the same man, at that time a boy. “Mm it doing it for you?” he hummed, despite the obvious comic tone in his words the sound sent fiery lightning straight through your body as you let out a stifled girly giggle “It really is”. 
You felt yourself swoon as his hips pressed against yours, a pleased hum followed from his lips as you took a deep breath to centre yourself. “Fuck, you don’t know how good this feels” had the ruckus downstairs from all the kids and newly awoken parents been closer the words would have fallen on deaf ears for it was all but a whisper, a mumble from soft plush lips grazing your scalp. All you could do in response was hum, the feeling of Eddie's thick fingers massaging the soft skin of your breast, catching your nipple between them and near searingly hot skin pressed flat against your back along with his throbbing cock grinding against you left you speechless. 
The tingles fluttering throughout your body were only growing more violent when Eddie let out a long groan of relief, the pent up frustration echoing through the room as strong arms held you even closer to him. Eventually, it got too much to bare, as soft whimpers began to escape your lips, matching up perfectly to the near obnoxious groans the man behind you was making, you slid your hand from under your cheek to slightly aggressively grab onto the hand massaging your boob, leading it down your front till his fingertips nudged the hem of your brazilians. 
Immediately he got the hint and carefully slunk his fingers under the offensive undergarment and soon enough callused fingers were running lazily up from your hole to your clit, collecting you slick and rubbing slow circles into the nub he since long ago had no trouble finding. A needy moan broke from your throat and you were quick to cover your mouth by turning your head and smooshing your bare face into the worn fabric of the pillow beneath you. Your now free hand slunk up behind you to grasp on firmly at the roots of Eddie's curls. His own display of arousal rang through the room before he followed your lead and buried his face further into your hair. 
“Shit, fuck, babe, need- need to be” his voice broke off before he had a chance to fully voice his request, your hand was already pulling at the hem of his boxers, prompting him to wriggle awkwardly while his hand was still attached to you. Within seconds your back was arched, your thigh was lifted into the air and your panties moved to the side as a small hand wrapped around his base, leading him to the opening of where you needed him most. The both of you synchronised in desperate whimpers as he sheathed inside you and bottomed out, once he was fully seated you took a deep breath to steady yourself before laying your leg back down.
The added pressure of your thighs squeezing together causing for a delightful sensation as your pussy pulsed around him. Not before long he was rocking into you, matching the slow rhythm of his fingers. 
This, this was utter and complete bliss. A lazy morning with your lover, early morning sun filtering through the thin flower curtains, the rambunctious sound of happy children only to be heard as white noise, heavy strained breaths pleasing your ears, warm skin on warm skin, wrapped up in soft colourful sheets with Eddie slowly thrusting in to you. Yeah this was the best fucking feeling. 
Soon enough the faint thuds against the very depths of your pussy became repetitive, each pause of Eddie pulling back and thrusting back in shorter when his hips sped up. With each passing second you realised that the thickness of the plush pillow wasn't enough to muffle your moans, the lone hand resting under your cheek came up to plaster over your mouth, forcing it hard against the chubbiness of your cheeks. Once again Eddie was on the same page as you, with his mind and body quickly awakening, the arm squished between the mattress and your body ripped quickly out from under you, a clenched fist coming up to his lips as he bit down hard onto the skin. 
Each thrust was growing faster and faster, deeper and deeper, harder and harder, and in turn the slow circles on your clit, matching the pace of his hips with the added pressure increasing. “Fuck babe, roll over” with the help of his body forcing you in the right direction you rolled onto your stomach, a frustrated whine leaving your lips at the loss of Eddies fingers harshly pressing into your clit before you had the chance to cover your mouth again. 
Your whine was left discarded as Eddie manoeuvred himself on top of you, his thighs straddling the backs of yours, his left hand slipping under your armpit and lacing his fingers with your own right hand. Before you knew it, plush lips were kissing repeatedly up and down your right shoulder and up the side of your neck. Just as he began thrusting again his free hand planted a deathgrip on your hip, callused tips of his fingers pressing harshly into your skin, no doubt leaving a bruise. 
Your left hand found its place splayed across your mouth once again just as the thrusts became hard and evenly spaced. “Fuck feel so good baby, fuckin’ -shit” his breath fanned against your ear, a mewl from the back of your throat only spurring him on. “Fuckin’ love these curves, you’re so sexy” you had long since passed the point where you’d flush with embarrassment at the compliments showered upon you about your body, instead his words had the intended effect, muffled moans became much less muffled, the volume breaking through the barrier of your hand. “Fuck princess you gotta be quiet, think you can do that for me?” you most definitely couldn't, but you sure as hell would try. The deep husky voice whispering against you skin as he kissed it, knuckles gripping tightly onto your own, hand holding firmly onto the meat of your hip and his dick thundering in and out of you overtook all senses, all you wanted to do right now was worship this man who made you feel so Mother. Fucking. Good. So yes, you sure as fucking hell would try. 
“Good girl” you could feel the smug smirk against the slope of your neck at your eager nod, could hear it in his voice, knew he was just filling up with pride at the feeling of your whole body tensing with the force of not letting out the excruciatingly loud moan you were so desperate to set free. “So good for me, takin’ me -fuck- so well, oh fuck holy shit” despite how badly he wanted to shower you in endless praise he couldn’t help the endless string of swares as he felt your pussy clamp down around him at his words. 
“Fuck fuck fuck, oh shit, oh my fucking god” his neck went slack as his forehead landed on your shoulder with a thud, hips working faster than ever at the feeling of your pulsing around him, intensified with the hard incessant squeeze. You couldn't pass it up, you just couldn't, you knew exactly what to do to get him riled up, despite his whole body working in overdrive you wanted, no, needed to know what would happen if he was pushed just a little further towards his limits. Throughout heavy pants once your hand was lifted only slightly from your lips you managed to get out the words “Seems hmmghf seems you’re enjoying this more than me right now” a smirk slowly spread across your lips. 
“You sure about that sweetheart?” his voice was strained as he spoke and it only made the tingling between your thighs strengthen. “Yeah” you breathed, “I don't know about you, but with time things get… old”
“Old huh?”
“Boring” with every ounce of power you had in your body you managed to even your voice in a smooth breath, unnamused and bored. “You can't please me anymore. It's the same old dance every time. It gets boring”
“Oh I can't please you anymore?”
“Not in the slightest. Judging by this maybe I should go find another man, someone who knows what he’s doing. Someone new, exciting, better.” before your grin had a chance to widen at his “Oh you fucking-” a strong hand gripped tightly onto your roots and you were yanked up to a sitting position. 
He pulled the flimsy t-shirt your thrown on earlier over your head before the hand holding yours found your hip in no time, leaving identical bruising on your other hip while the tension in your scalp quickly soothed as his other hand no longer gentle forced itself under your panties, diving straight for your clit to circle it fast and harsh. “Oh yeah? That's how we're gonna do this?” with the upper hand, amusement sounded in his voice between the heavy pants he was releasing. But the fact that both your legs were pressed together betweens his was not working in his favour. He wanted so badly to just let loose and scream at the feeling of your thighs tightening you around him but he was trying his hardest never to let the pants transition into deep groans or even loud moans. As he waited for your answer his hand smoothed up your side to plant a firm grasp on your left boob, “Y-yeah” how it was even possible you were even more worked up than he was, your pants faster and louder, threatening to echo deafeningly throughout the room and reach unexpecting and innocent ears. 
Just knowing there were people around who could hear you if you dared raise your voice, who could catch you made it all the more exhilarating. 
Your head lolled onto his shoulder with your eyes closed and mouth open in a mute scream as your body moved up and down with each push of his hips, in sync with the low squeaks of the old bed frame. “Yeah you wanna be in charge? Go ahead sweetheart” the smug and evil laugh vibrated through his chest at the sound of your pathetic whine in protest “You sure?” the mocking tone only made you squeeze harder around him. The squeaking increased as Eddie breathed, “Fuck” had it not been for the fact that you were almost completely silent you wouldn’t have heard it, but you did and it flipped a switch inside you. Even though you were clearly the whining mess at the hands of your husband, you did in fact have the upper hand despite his insistence that you didn't. 
It had most definitely been a while, but you decided you most definitely wanted to push him to his limits, you wanted to see him angry. With some extreme power you didn't know you withheld you managed to clear your head from all the sensations and purely focus on speaking, knowing you would be rewarded by it soon enough. “You act so tough” the near clear tone of your words caught him off guard, “You give off this idea that you're all big and strong. But you're all bark. No bite” you slowly opened your eyes to watch him out of the corner of them, “What did you just say to me?” fury began to swim in his eyes as his jaw twitched with the tightness of the grit of his teeth. 
“You heard me.” a loud exhale managed to escape your lips but you forced yourself to reel back in your head and stay focused on your mission, “Everybody thinks you're this mean, inked up, scary metalhead who could crush anyone into a pulp within the matter of seconds, but on the contrary you're just a mushy wuss who plays dress up, watches cartoons and likes baking every sunday with his wife” ok maybe the jab at him playing princesses with the kids might have been a little harsh, but it was no doubt working. 
For a moment, it left him speechless. His hips were still working furiously but his grip on your chest slackened. Even before the dry spell it was on rare occasions where you were this mean, this assertive. It threw him right off course.
He managed to regain his mental footing however, “Who the fuck do you think you are right now?” the grin spreading on your delicate features only fueled his anger, “I’m the woman whose body you've worshipped and will continue to worship until the day you die. I’m the woman, the only woman who can get you on your knees, begging, whining for you to touch me” hmm, might have been the wrong direction, judging by the fact that he too was now grinning. The squeaking only increasing with each passing second.
Dammit, you had to rethink your tactics. His hand found your hip again as he watched your tits bounce with amusement. Before you had the chance to even mull over how to play this next his words cut you off, “I know you like to think you're the one who calls the shots sweethea-” “Shut up” he frowns at you as he instantly shuts his mouth in sheer shock. “I am the one who calls the shots, just the other day you were whining and whimpering like a pathetic little baby and I hadn't even touched you” now that seemed to be working. His confused frown shifted into one of anger again, “And I don't think I even need to remind you how you got all hard and needy from just the prospect of getting to see me naked, let alone shower with me”
It was definitely working when an angry twitch of his lips graced your presence, each word blowing oxygen into the bottom of the slow burning fire rumbling in his stomach. “I don't think I need to remind you this either, but I will” you sat up now, his cock still working its way in and out of you, still proving how desperate he was, twisting your neck to face him you forced a sneer “-you came within two seconds of slipping inside me” hot fury glared at you from once almond brown soft eyes, now black with a stare unwavering. “Pathetic” you landed the final punch with a scoff. 
“Get off me” the hands once gripping you with need and desperation now held onto you with pure rage, manhandling you to slip off him and almost collapsing onto the ground. Shit, did you take it too far? Did you read the signs wrong? Was he actually not into it? Worry glossed your eyes over as you watched him stand up. “I’m sor-” you tried to apologise as you found your balance “Shut. The. Fuck. Up” without warning he was in front of you, pushing you at your shoulders to bounce onto the bed. With harsh movements he brought you to the edge of the bed, forcing your thighs up. 
He looked you dead in the eye as he said the words “Not so tough now are we?” and then he broke into a wide smug smirk, soaking up every inch of your shocked face. “Wha..?” you breathed, a breath that quickly turned into an even more shocked, gasp. Without any caution or warning whatsoever he ripped the soft, expensive polyester lace that lay delicately over your stomach. Within a second he ripped the other side, his fingers finding the discarded -now backpiece- easily, pulling it out from under you and tossing it towards his nightstand. 
“Those were expensive!” you chastised him but all he did was smirk even wider. Despite his previous manhandling and legit throwing you around the touch of the tip of his cock running through your folds was soft, gentle. The sensation made you shiver as you felt it brush over your clit before returning back down again and repeating the process as he spoke. “That's the thing sweetheart, you act like a brat and you get treated like one” his words were laced with malice before the loud moan you let out had Eddies eyes shifting to the door, just out of view of his peripheral before zoning back in on you. Watching smugly at the once again evident shock on your face after he had just pushed himself into the hilt. The head of his cock brushing dangerously at your cervix from the force he was putting at his hips to get as deep as possible. 
The tut he let out at your reaction only made anger bubble up within yourself too, “Tsk tsk, thought you could be quiet” this time your sneer was 100% real, “Not when you just force yourself inside me with no fucking warning” your backtalk only made him more angry. He retaliated with another hard snap of his hips against you, this time you were ready, biting so hard into your bottom lip you were sure you would soon enough be drawing blood but it didn't matter, he wasn't going to win, maybe before but not now. 
His knees were beginning to ache from the awkward bend he was in to reach you on the bed, being tall seemed it didn't always come with its perks but- “Wanna see your face when you cum for me. See you fall apart for the only man who can make you beg and whine, like a pathetic. Little. Baby.” He threw your words right back in your face just before he began a furious pace of his hips, same if not more furious than when had last been inside you a minute ago. You thanked whoever made that stupid old bed for it at least not squeaking when moved the other way. 
His cock stretching you out at the new angle, the head of his cock hitting that stupid ‘danger zone’ was now sending you careening towards a fast and undoubtedly strong orgasm. Damn him. Not only that but you found as you bit down harder you did in fact manage to draw blood. “Yeah that's it” his smirk was still shining brightly on his soft and once kind features. The right hand that had been situated on your hip moved up to grab onto your tit once again while he watched the other one bouncing up and down. If the sound of the rest of the house had registered to him before it definitely wasn't now. Now all he could focus on was the way every part of your body bounced with each thrust, had it been under any other circumstance he most definitely would have praised you endlessly on how he loved the bounce of your tits, your soft stomach, your thighs, but right now it didn't even cross his mind to voice his opinions on it. The fiery anger grew more threatening at your next words “Piece of shit” you gritted out, the metallic taste of your blood sour in your mouth “Fucking pervert, bet you just love watching me like this, at your mercy or whatever” you scoffed, “Is it giving you your ego boost?” 
The hard slap landed at your cheek had you gasping but not regretting your words, no, far from it. This was exactly what you wanted, you had a feeling treating and being treated rough was something very much needed for the both of you. All sorts of built up feelings being released in a strange form of love rather than distance or petty arguments. This was much better, not only in the absolutely earth shattering way his cock was pistoning into you and every other sensation of this moment but the fact that it could be channelled into complete euphoria for the both of you and not hurt feelings. 
Strong fingers wrapped around your throat as he responded “Such a fucking slut, let anyone else do this to you? ‘Cause you seem to be taking this very easy” you rolled your eyes at him “Obviously not. Jesus christ I really regret marrying someone so fucking dense” pressure was added to your throat as another hand left your hip, fingers splayed over the soft pudge of your stomach as his thumb connected to your clit. 
If there had been any slight worry that he might actually be angry it would have dissipated the second his skin came in contact with your own slick one. “Hah! No you don't. You and I both know no one could treat you this good” he began to sense the loss of air you were experiencing and drew his hand up to your face, fingers resting at the back of your throat while his thumb sat just in front of your ear. “Drop anything to be at your aid, treat you like a goddamn goddess. No one could ever love you like I do.”
And there it was, love. His anger was beginning to melt, he’d gotten everything out and now all he could look at you with was adoration. “No one could ever love me like you do” you confirmed, a soft smile only hinting at your lips as you stared up at him. In less than a second his hand below your navel disappeared and was found slinking under your back, lowering himself down to capture your lips in a deep passionate kiss.  One hand circled under his arm to grasp onto his shoulder blade as the other ran through his hair. Multiple long kisses venturing between soft and hard were shared as well as breathy I love yous’s before you whispered a breathless and whiny “I’m gonna cum” Eddie breathed a heavy sigh of relief “Oh thank god” and soon enough the orgasm you had been teetering over the edge of for a long time came crashing down on you, biting into Eddies shoulder to suppress a loud moan as he led one final thrust before hot spurts of cum painted your walls.
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fountainpenguin · 4 months
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"No one lives forever~ Let's have a party; there's a full moon in the sky! It's the hour of the wolf and I don't wanna die..." (x)
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New Dog's Life chapter today! ~ 3rd Life series fan-season
Chapter 35 - “Incendiary (BigB, Skizz, Etho, Scott)”
❤️ Read on AO3
💛 Start from Chapter 1
💚 More Pixels Imperfect fics
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BigB visits a tipsy Scar. Skizz does paperwork. Etho sobs on the floor. Scott gets something to eat.
(First 1,000 words under the cut)
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T-rated descriptions of BigB discussing cuddles with Ren
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bigbst4tz2 - Moth (Ex-Illusioner)
Status: Increasingly concerned
City inspector, private investigator, and town crier
🖤  🧡  💚
This is getting intense. It's pinching at his hearts. I need a better observation post. Thank Beef for the card shop, though- and its rooftop bar. It's not exactly a night of snuggling and macaroni, but Pearl's whisper over comm gave him a good excuse to duck out. He likes Ren. But Ren's… a lot. It's charming to see him playing with the young fox hybrids. Jimmy's presence helped soak some energy too; it's easier, see, to handle Ren in small doses or with a bigger group. But it's nice to stretch. He needs time with his own thoughts now and then.
BigB lands in a fwump of wings. Not many people are up here tonight. Yeah, card games don't tend to be an instinct programmed into mob behavior. This place will be busier come new moon night. Three people sit at the barstools, talking to someone that BigB barely glanced at. They look heavily modded. No full moon pulls for them. Scar's here too. After what he glimpsed when Scar was on the floor with Scott, he'd be more surprised if he wasn't. Didn't Martyn crash through his roof? Yikes.
"Mind if I join you?" he asks over his shoulder. Scar looks up. He's drinking alone tonight. Again, don't blame him. Heavier than usual for him, isn't it? Raw binary code sparkles in his shot glass. Scar's eyes glint off-green, all dim and hazy. His soul traits haven't sprung up, though his form seems to be a little loose around the shoulders.
"Hello, BigB! No, not at all- pull up a seat if you'd like. What's the word on the streets these days?"
BigB's antennae twitch forward. He climbs on top of a short block stack at the edge of the roof- the corner spot where the fence post railing connects. Yeah, this will work. It's easier to sit on than the posts themselves and he gets a decent view of Headquarters. Scar's just two tables over, within prox chat distance. BigB gets himself situated, flapping out his wings. He cracks open the eyespots to soak in as much area as he can. "Well… Impulse and Tango got some farms approved. They're only authorized to run it for short periods of time and they're on trial to prove they can follow through with the ethics requirements, but we might get renewable iron rolling in pretty soon. Dude, that would be a game-changer."
"Oh, really?" Scar takes another sip of his drink. His vex wings flutter at his shoulders. BigB doesn't need to turn around to see that. "You know, I've always wondered why we have glowing iron golems in this dimension, but not glowing iron. It really makes you think. What a quad- quandary."
"Hmm… I guess because it's a programmed drop, not a literal part of their body."
"True!"
What a day. One of the longest ones he's experienced in a while, seeing as he had check-in work in the morning, a full two weeks of recording, and city inspection work when he went offline. BigB yawns, thrumming his wings. But Pearl asked him to keep an eye on Scott, and Scott's definitely up to something. He snuck out a window. This should be interesting.
"BigB?"
"What?"
"Do you think Grian would like me more if I was a worm?"
He rolls one of his eyespots, trying not to show expression otherwise. "I'm sure Grian likes you fine." If this is some jab at soulmates and Double Life, it's not one he's up for tonight. Though that thought does wiggle beneath his exoskeleton and bite at every heart.
I bet Ren would like me more if I were a giant world-eating worm.
Maybe he would've been into that in a way he wasn't into a soft and fluffy moth who loitered in the corners of his eyes, following instructions instead of bossing him around. And as he thinks that, he pinches his brow and rubs up and down. Ren checked every box when they were soulmates. He flirted and flounced and nuzzled while living at Box…
… but Ren's into things that BigB was never going to be able to give him, like fangs and drool and razor-sharp claws. He embraced the roleplay. Pretended there was something there. They were cuddling shirtless every night. Even carroting sometimes, foreheads pressed and mouths soft as they huffed against each other's necks. Hands sliding, fingers tracing spiracles they could both feel, even though they were only legitimate on BigB's skin. Arms wrapped around each other. Backs arched as they whispered and chased that little lip of lust and trust.
"Oh no," Scar says softly, mostly to his drink. "He might not recognize me if I'm a worm. Do you think Cub still would?" Cub loves me, Scar adds in his mind. BigB can hear that, like he can hear everything, because of the way Scar's throat constricts on individual words. It's subtle, but he can. Because BigB always listens, and he picks up everything.
He flicks an antenna, but otherwise ignores this, lost in his own thoughts and the cold hand resting on his face. It's almost not fair, you know… how everyone in Double Life got paired with someone they could learn to love. Maybe had loved in the past. And he and Ren had golden history, twirling around each other like a moth chasing flames in 3rd Life and Last Life too.
But loving Ren is a loser's game from the start, if you aren't someone like Martyn who was born with spiny wings and lashing tail and fangs and drool and claws. Ren's a performer and very good when guiding partners through a rush of carrots, but he was never going to fall in love with BigB the way BigB tried to fall in love with him.
It's not like he didn't try. He cuddled too. He responded with what felt like enthusiasm every time Ren pulled him in, licking his cheeks and running hands down his sides. Pulling him down on the bed and into his arms. Day after day, week after week, he mirrored the motions and fell in love. Even when he knew it wasn't real. When he lay his head on Ren's rising, falling chest and gazed up at his sleepy, bristle-covered face.
Ren's such a rugged and handsome man, honestly. He loves working in the dirt. Maybe it's a dog thing. Maybe he just likes plants and tiny creatures in the soil. He's got the muscles of someone who rolls huge boulders aside just to take a peek at ants and worms. Maybe a fungus.
And he's beautiful, and he loves so much, and it's all too much sometimes (because it isn't real). So with wings whispering at his back… BigB rested his cheek and curled his fingers, biting bare skin, and asked him for the truth.
"If I mod in some ears and fangs and maybe a tail, would that do something for you?"
[Full chapter on AO3 - Link at top]
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on-a-lucky-tide · 8 months
Text
Post-Surgery Day 35 (but three days late)
cw: surgery, bodies, medical
- Good news! The wound separation in my nipple has healed closed and scarred up, and all the scabs are gone. I'm so, so frickin' happy and glad I kept my anxiety in check over it. There were so many times I wanted to pull the scab away and see the damage, or send a billion questions to the surgeon. But I trusted what the nurse told me to do, and it's fine.
- I've been a biiiit naughty with the reaching and the stretching and I've got a bit of a ache in my ribs, like, just beneath the incision? I think it's muscular in that I've obviously been hunched over and fairly stationary while I heal. I figure I'll be getting some physio and exercises after my appointment in a week. The incisions are fine and neat AF, I can't remember whether I mentioned that the part under my arms is already so faint? I thought I'd need to get some tattoos to camouflage it but I don't think I will.
- Still chonk. Sigh.
- I am exhausted after my first week (and a half) back at work. I've been relatively good and not lifting stuff too heavy, or reaching too high. My colleagues have been awesome, and I mean awesome. I've received so many hugs and big smiles; they genuinely missed me, which... I'm actually shocked? I didn't realise how much healing I still have to do in terms of self worth. The damage done by a handful of people a year or so ago has clearly impacted quite deep. But, anyways, people keep coming up to me to tell me their kid is trans or non-binary or gay, or they know someone who is, or their kid's partner is... They are so excited about it.
- I have had one encounter with someone I think has terfy leanings. It was an assessor from a training body we use for our trainee teachers. She kept using my deadname, even though her institution has been updated. Now, I need these teachers to pass so I bit my lip. My headteacher, however, a big Welsh dude, informed her that if she couldn't address his teachers with respect she could leave the premises. I was... shocked. So was she. I was named appropriately for the rest of the day, and when I thanked him later he just said that some people have no class, and ambled off to herd some kids. 🤣
- My driving license came through! That's the second government body that has acknowledged my new name and gender. My bank is sorted too. I'm going to sort out the mortgage (second bank, land registry), the vehicles (car and bike) and my passport. The passport I am worried about because I've reached that they can be picky about the GIC. We'll see.
- I am delivering a conference for the first time tomorrow as myself and I'm actually a little bit nervous? I don't think anything of talking to rooms full of 100s, usually. I'm an expert in my field and that's why I'm there. But. As me now? The person I've had to keep protected and quiet for years? Scary.
- Six more days until my final appointment with my surgeon. I hope I get good grades in healing so I can go back to the gym. :3
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klm-zoflorr · 6 months
Text
My headcanons for the heads of the Magnus Institute- Part 2!
Part 1
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Joseph Winsley (1903-1934)
This dude was closer to the previous head's affairs, to the higher administration of the Magnus Institute (which is by now a pretty recognized establishment). And also pretty ambitious. So it didn't come as a surprise when he became the next Head.
Joseph Winsley came from a very religious family. I don't think Jonah cares. He has his own god of terror (or like, gods. Fourteen of them lol) to bother with.
This body has dark hair arranged in a fashionable wave and pale skin, he looks a bit like a vampire. He's got literally the best mustache, thick and beautiful. He has a slim nose, practically non existent lips and in general looks a bit like a lizard. He has a very deep voice, and in retrospect I think he'll end up being one of Jonah's favorite bodies.
This era is somewhat characterised by darker tones, during this time he was wearing dark blues and greens. That's around this time Jonah started to make the shift from reds to greens. This was a very slow process lmao. Also, hats were very much a thing at this time. Jonah never liked hats, not a big hat guy he is, but for once he sucks it up and puts on a top hat.
Anyways, Joseph was 35 when Jonah took over and 66 when he booked it off. I think by this point Jonah got a bit more comfortable with extending his stays. Joseph Winsley disappeared under mysterious circumstances around the time of the new year, which means the next Head was appointed the year after.
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Pictured: 40's, 50's and 60's
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Richard Mendelson (1935-1973)
The body Jonah stayed in the longest so far, from when Richard was 31 to when he was 69. Richard stayed in relatively good health, so there wasn't a need for a change.
He has a flat, low nose, I guess you could call his face gaunt? With hard lines. He looks a bit like a predator and his lips are constantly curled in a sort of smirk. He has huge ears.
After the world's best mustache, you've got the world's shittiest stache. Jonah still loves it, this freak. Plus some sparse, low brows. Richard really doesn't have much in the way of facial hair. He does have glorious hair though, wavy and thick and chocolate far beyond the moment he should have been greying. And he is rocking these undercuts baby.
Oh, yeah. This one wears glasses (more as a statement, Jonah never needs glasses). He's also VERY tall, and built like a stick, with narrow poking shoulders.
I did promise suspenders and I delivered, thank you very much.
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Text
@thehaikuman here it is! Thank you again for agreeing to help me :]
All of what I translated so far under the cut
Bold text means I'm not sure of the word(s) I used (except for the 'bald', that one is on purpose bc it's funnier that way)
Asterisks mean it's an alternative; that I'm not sure between two translations
Slashes mean I don't know what to put, so I didn't put anything (for now)
01:17 – At last, after nearly 6 months of absence, they finally pull their fingers out
[NEWS: Those slacker from Re: Take are finally back · Diabl0x9: He’s finally back on OnlyFans]
01:21 – nobody believed in it anymore!
[NEWS: Those slacker from Re: Take are finally back · Diabl0x9: He’s finally back on OnlyFans]
01:22 – The big fat worm here, that’s me – Takemichi Hanagaki
[NEWS: JDGate: The corpse of the ex-body double of the man with the Hawaiian shirt found in a canal (reference to one of the most famous French youtuber, ‘Joueur du Grenier’ (‘player from the attic’) also known as ‘JDG’]
01:26 – 26, single, and invisible like air
01:29 – Now for the news,
[NEWS: St Valentine: if you want to spend the day with Leo TechMaker, does Leo ‘Take my heart’?]
01:31 – a huge ‘Serves you right!’ for the Tachibana family
01:32 – their daughter Hinata got fucked over really good as they say
[NEWS: “Do we hear me right in the sound controls? In how long are we live? Oh yes, I’d like a bit of water”, Emmanuel Macron’s declaration shocks the opposition]
01:34 – their daughter Hinata got fucked over really good as they say
[A NON-TACHIBANAL CASE: the chick is dead.]
01:36 – but it’s okay, at least no man died, it was a woman
[NEWS: The case of Feldup fell down: How did the young man trip up on his bathroom rug? (Feldup is a French youtuber)]
01:38 – we’re not going to make a big deal out of it.
01:39 – –Ah, wait!
[NEWS: Billy, the end of his carrier: Was this Arab truly so determined? (play of word bc his channel name can be translated as ‘DeterminedArab’)]
01:40 – someone tells me through the earpiece that her little brother, who’s a man, is dead
[THE COUNTRY GRIEVING: A man died]
01:44 – In this case, it’s a tragedy – a national tragedy, the whole country is shaken
01:47 – We are truly distraught, we wish good luck to the Tachibana family
[ALERT: Takemichi elected the most beautiful ass of the year according to the last survey of IFOP (French Institute of Public Opinion(that’s a real institute))]
01:49 – – but also good riddance.
[ALERT: Re:Take followers elected best community in the world]
01:50 – (announcer voice) It was misogy-news!
X
01:51 – I feel deeply saddened.
01:53 – Is it because I watch right-wing news
[(the tv news was a parody of a real French tv news)]
01:54 – or because the only woman I’ve ever loved just got squashed in a wall by a 36-tons truck in a very graphic way?
01:59 – Where am I going? Where am I running-ing? Where is it leading me-ing?
02:01 – I’m really in a standstill. If only someone could push me to–
02:05 – I instantly regret choosing those words!
X
02:09 – Unbelievable. I’m not dead.
02:11 – Fuck it, what’s this look? I changed my mind actually I wanna die!
02:14 – Takemichi, you get your ass moving? –Ah? Yeah! Coming!
02:17 – If I understand correctly, I time jumped
02:19 – It’s 2005, 12 years into the past
02:20 – I’ll use the lotto numbers and become rich!
02:23 – No, I don’t have the lotto numbers
02:24 – Well scratch that. What striking thing happened in 2005?
02:32 – Right, make a fortune is out. But no big deal, everything was going well in 2005, I was the neighborhood king!
X
02:35 – You’re the neighborhood little bitch!
02:38 – So that’s what we call ‘selective memory’…
02:39 – Don’t make this face, Takemichi. It’s going to be okay.
02:42 – Thanks you, Akkun.
02:43 – I swear, you’re unique dude, there’s only one like you
02:45 – Stop it, you don’t mean it
02:47 – I do, I swear. You didn’t listen to what that guy said? You’re…
02:49 – The neighborhood little bitch!
02:52 – Takemichi, come back! We’re going to the cybercafe to pay a huge amount of money to spend 5 minutes on the Internet!
02:56 – What great times to live in!
X
02:58 – What shitty times. Except for the games and movies which came out this year
03:00 – Not kidding, I’m talking directly to the viewers: go check all the crazy stuffs that came out between 2004 and 2005. Even so –
03:05 – What shitty times.
03:06 – I should still take advantage of the situation to go see Hinata
03:09 – Hi, Takemichi. What’s wrong? You don’t look well.
03:11 – Forget it, Hinata. I think today is the worst day of my life
03:14 – You got hurt? Come here, I’ll kiss it all better.
03:17 – I have to save this girl, marry her, succeed my studies and buy a Honda
03:22 – Fuck, I’m so happy! I’m really starting to understand why my therapist told me I’m bipolar–
03:25 – And so it makes me sad.
X
03:26 – I feel deeply sad. I feel like my life is going nowhere
03:30 – Anyway, it was really nice to have offered to listen to me!
03:33 – I didn’t offer anything. I was swinging, you racketeered me ten bucks and you demanded that I listen to you or be subject to consequences
03:38 – You’re really a nice guy, Naoto.
03:39 – Leave me alone, please
03:41 – Listen closely, I have to tell you something. You’re about to die.
03:43 – No! Wait! I listened to you like you requested even if it was really fucking boring!
03:47 – I don’t have any money left but if you want I have a Chelsea bun crushed in my bag!
03:49 – That’s not what I meant to say!
03:51 – Wait, a Chelsea bun? Nobody eat Chelsea bun
03:53 – And what do you mean ‘fucking boring’?!
03:55 – Anyway.
03:56 – You’re Hinata’s little brother, right? In twelve years, your sister and yourself will be targeted by a gang and unfortunately, you both die
04:02 – That’s terrible!
04:03 – I know. And you believed me very easily.
04:05 – Naoto. You have to become a police officer, you’ll be capable of protecting your sister that way.
04:08 – Okay!
04:09 – You’re really believing me very easily
04:11 – Well then, make the most of it to become rich. Think about investing all your money in–
04:15 – Wait. Come closer. Invest all your money in *caws makes it impossible to hear what is being said*
04:18 – Ok, Takemichi.
04:19 – Great! Good luck, Naoto
X
04:22 – Takemichi. I did all of what you told me. Unfortunately, Hinata didn’t survive
04:25 – But I did it, I officially work for the police and we’re going to be able to work together to save my sister!
04:28 – That’s great news!
04:30 – And by the way, ‘investing all I have in sporks’? really?!
04:34 – You couldn’t have told me to buy BitCoin?!
04:35 – No, it pollutes
04:36 – Do you really want to become a megalomaniac multimillionaire?
04:38 – Yes.
04:39 – Who owns a luxury cars company?
04:40 – Yes!
04:41 – A space rockets company?!
04:42 – YES!
04:43 – I get it. I’m sorry, I didn’t know what BitCoin was…
X
04:45 – Mission: save Hinata
04:46 – Let’s recap the situation:
04:47 – The entire city is under the influence of the Tokyo Manji kai,
04:49 – a sprawling mafia whose bosses have eyes everywhere
04:51 – Don’t take it in the literal sense,
04:53 – they both only have two eyes.
04:54 – And by ‘them both’ I mean those two:
04:56 – His name is Manjiro Sano, also known under the name ‘Mikey’
04:58 – as for him, it’s Tetta Kisaki.
05:00 – Between us we’ll call him ‘fucking bastard, shitty low-down dog’
05:03 – Excuse me for that. I watched the rest of the series, and you’re going to understand –
05:05 – he’s a fucking bastard. – If you say so
05:06 – Before I explain my plan, do you have any question?
05:08 – I do.
05:09 – First, I love your skin texture, may you give me the name of your day cream?
05:12 – And, thennnnnnn
05:14 – How did you succeed to take pictures this close to them, no jokes?
05:16 – [Reference to a running gag of the comedic duo ‘Palmashow’]
05:20 – I can see you.
[Reference to a running gag of the comedic duo ‘Palmashow’]
05:21 – Ninja!
[Reference to a running gag of the comedic duo ‘Palmashow’]
05:25 – I can see you!
[Reference to a running gag of the comedic duo ‘Palmashow’]
05:31 – I can see you!
[Reference to a running gag of the comedic duo ‘Palmashow’]
05:40 – I can see you.
[Reference to a running gag of the comedic duo ‘Palmashow’]
05:45 – Dude, get the hell out of my house, for real.
[Reference to a running gag of the comedic duo ‘Palmashow’]
05:46 – (muffled) Ninja!
[Reference to a running gag of the comedic duo ‘Palmashow’]
05:47 – I have my methods.
05:48 – Takemichi. You have to prevent Tetta Kisaki from corrupting the Tokyo Manji kai.
05:52 – You have to prevent him from meeting Mikey, no matter the cost.
05:54 – It’s because of
05:55 – – this fucking bastard –
05:56 – of Kisaki if the gang became that violent nowadays
05:58 – But how could I recognize him?
05:59 – Who is that, Kisaki?
06:00 – Don’t worry about it, you can’t miss him, you can smell the bastard at 20 miles
06:03 – Okay. We’ll do it, Naoto.
06:05 – We will save Hinata!
06:07 – See you 12 years ago!
06:09 – (whining) Oh no, damn it! My punchline was great, why isn’t it working?
06:12 – Your hands are really soft. Is it the same cream you use for your face?
06:15 – It was already awkward, you just made it worse
06:16 – Perhaps if you tighten your grip a bit more…
06:19 – Ouch! I say ‘a bit more’, you’re truly a jerk!
X
06:20 – (crowd shouting in the background)
06:21 – (crowd shouting in the background)
What did you sAY
06:23 – (crow shouting in the background)
You want me to smash your fACE IN?
06:24 – (crow shouting in the background)
You’re nuts!
Takemichi: oh, no… It looks like it’s gonna be a very long day…
06:27 – 🎶Takemitchi gets his ass beat all the time🎶
06:30 – 🎶It’s truly not pleasant🎶
06:33 – Kiyomasa: Can’t hear your bigmouth anymore, UH?
06:34 – 🎶Is this girl worth loosing one’s teeth?🎶
06:37 – 🎶Frankly, I would have scram a long time ago🎶
X
06:41 – So? Not so clever now, eh?
06:43 – In my opinion, you’re the one who’s not clever
06:44 – Wh– No, it’s him!
06:45 – Over there… There!
06:50 – Hi
06:53 – [Mikey
“Hi.”]
06:54 – What’s your name?
06:55 – Takemichi
06:56 – You sure have a good nerve, Takemibitch
06:58 – If you don’t laugh I’ll turn your mother into an NFT
06:59 – (forced laughter)
07:00 – Did someone already tell you you were the (both:) neighborhood little bitch?
07:03 – Yeah, yeah, I know
07:04 – Come with me, we’re going to do real Japanese thugs’ stuffs
X
07:06 – *ding-ding*
07:08 – You see it, all the violence? That’s what the real hood is about
07:11 – Wow, I’m bowled over by it (sarcasm)
07:12 – (reference to a French TV station)
(stereotypical voice-over) To go for a ride by the bank of a river
07:15 – (stereotypical voice-over) talking about friendship, wind in the hair
07:17 – (stereotypical voice-over) while admiring a setting-sun...
07:18 – (stereotypical voice-over) A real atmosphere of TERROR in the land of the raising sun.
07:22 – You know Takemiwhine, I respect you a lot
07:23 – (not believing it) Oh really?
07:24 – You’re someone admirable
07:25 – (still not believing it) Yeah?
07:26 – You’re like a brother to me
07:27 – uh-huh
07:28 – And in the gang, we brothers love each other very muchhhhhhhh
07:31 – (starting to get fearful) And what does that mean?
07:32 – Take out your takemidick
07:34 – eh?
07:35 – nooOOOOoooOOOOOOO
X
07:36 – It’s all good, Naoto! I did it!
07:37 – That’s great! So it’s over?
07:39 – Yeah, I did it, I screwed your sister!
07:41 – eh?
07:42 – You saved my sister
07:44 – I- s-
07:45 – saved.
07:46 – Yeah. Yeahyeahyeah
07:47 – I, I, I saved her. I saved her all properly.
07:51 – But I forgot my keys back there
07:52 – You can’t forget an object in a time travel!
07:53 – oh boy, I’m going to miss my time jump– (play of word with ‘sauter’=jump, screw. ‘I’m going to miss [the opportunity of] screwing your sister)
07:55 – [second take, let’s try again]
07:56 – Takemichi, you’re back?
07:57 – Yes. And I have bad news.
07:59 – First, Hinata is dead, that didn’t change
08:01 – And second, my keys are, oh my! completely lost (chuckles)
08:03 – True. Hinata’s still dead
08:05 – We don’t have the choice, we’re going to investigate
08:06 – Do you recognize him?
08:07 – Is that Akkun? What a huge pompadour
08:09 – Puberty doesn’t help everyone
X
08:11 – Oh fuck, it’s worse than on the picture I haven’t been that disappointed since my last Tinder date
08:13 – Excuse me?
08:14 – It’s not to me you own apologies.
08:16 – You own apologies to yourself to have inflicted this look on you
08:18 – excuse me?
08:19 – STOP apologizing all the time, it’s tiring
08:21 – Why are we on the roof?
08:22 – I’m sorry Takemichi.
08:26 – –I’m taking back what I said, apologize.
08:23 – Would you stop apologizing, dammit?!
08:25 – I’m the one who pushed you under the train
08:27 – It’s because of this Tetta Kisaki bastard. He forced me to do it
08:30 – What? He threatened your family?!
08:31 – Well there’s that…
08:32 – And he handed me a huge check
08:33 – I thought we were friends!
08:35 – Yeah, friends among other things…
08:37 – but you didn’t call often, the check was really big
08:39 – But since you busted me, I have remorse now
08:40 (sad music starts to play)
08:41 – Takemichi, I always loved my friends as if they were my brothers
08:43 – (sad music stops) ‘as if they were my brothers’ actual brothers, or…?
08:45 – (naive) like brothers.
08:46 – Whew.
08:47 – Do you want me to yell out my love for you?
08:49 – Yell out your love for me?
08:50 – Yeah.
08:51 – AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
08:54 – OH MY GOD
08:57 – MY CAR (starts crying)
X
09:00 – I think the investigation is going...
09:01 – -very fast?
09:02 – Not at all. I don’t know how you work things out. You’re the most incompetent man that I’ve never seen
09:04 – yipee…
09:05 – Okay, since visibly I’m talking to Einstein, I’ll explain everything to you again
09:08 – Mikey is being manipulated since Draken’s death
09:10 – He was the only one who succeeded to contain Mikey’s anger
09:12 – So, to avoid the corruption of the Tokyo Manji kai, you have to…
09:15 – sleep with your sister!
09:16 – There it goes…
09:17 – –what you shouldn’t be saying. Why?
09:19 – Well I don’t know
09:20 – When I, I do know
09:21 – I love Pierre Niney in ‘La Flamme’ [French reference. French actor & French comedic series – one of his line is “when I, I do know”]
09:22 – Let’s go, Takemichi! You have to go save Draken!
09:24 – Screw Draken!
09:25 – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
09:28 – No.
09:29 – You’re not a fun person.
09:30 – If my intel is exact, exactly 12 years ago from now, Mikey and Draken got into a fight
09:35 – That’s probably what caused the split of the Tokyo Manji kai and soon after: Draken’s death
09:39 – Your mission if you accept it
09:40 – – and you don’t have any other choice –
09:41 – [gasp]
09:42 – It’s to go do everything you have to to avoid this dispute
09:43 – A street fight between two gang members, how does it look like?
X
09:46 – [western soundtrack] Well, well, well, isn’t it the little runt?
09:49 – It doesn’t smell too much like feet when you’re 110 centimeters tall?
09:51 – You speak a lot, tall string bean
09:52 – I spoke to your girl, it seems the dragon on your temple is to compensate for the one you don’t have in your pants?
09:56 – thEy’rE BLoWing a fUsE
09:58 – How violent! Someone call the police!
10:00 – Guys! Stop!
10:02 – Have you look at yourselves, really?
10:03 – You are slaves of a system where people see each other without looking at each other,
10:06 – hear each other without listening to each other!
10:07 – There’s only war and conflict. Always war!
10:10 – Couldn’t we just stop to fight each other for five minutes?!!
10:12 – Woaw, Takemichi, what you just said that’s…
10:15 – That’s so boring I forgot what we were yelling at each other
10:17 – Real. Let’s go drink a bier while smoking a good colombian cigarro
10:20 – We’re minors, dude
10:21 – Real. Let’s go drink a caprisun and eat cotton candy at the amusement park
10:24 – We’re in the hood, bro.
X
10:25 – I’m cold, Takemichi
10:26 – ah okay, without any transition
10:28 – Listen. I believe it’s the right time.
10:29 – If you have things to tell me, things to confess…
10:31 – Whatever you have in your heart, I’m ready to hear it
10:33 – Well, everybody insinuates you’re my girlfriend since the start, including in front of you, so… That’s not really a secret, is it?
10:38 – We all have secrets, Takemichi
10:39 – Yes, but that one is not one
10:41 – Kiss me.
10:42 – Oh my god, that’s real, that’s happening!
10:43 – And Naoto is only a little brat who can’t cockblock me!
10:45 – This time I’m going to s–
10:46 – [ringtone. The song is called ‘Time Time’ ;p]
10:48 – Hello?!
10:49 – [Naoto:] –ave. [Takemichi:] What?
10:50 – You’re going to sAVE her.
10:51 – Naoto, you’re calling me through time and space now?!!?!
10:52 – When it’s my sister we’re talking about, I don’t joke around at all, dude
10:54 – Alright…Saving Draken, not touching your sister
10:57 – THANK YOU.
10:58 – [jinggle] Particularly since she’s super minor
X
11:00 – Back to the mission, we’re going to save Draken!
11:02 – –Stab Draken.
11:03 – Dude, you already told me on the phone!
11:04 – Yeah? Well I say it again,
11:05 – in case an eventual watcher would want to make the intrigue of an anime in which he’s the protagonist going
11:09 – Uh… You’re asking yourself some really meta-physic questions, bro
11:11 – Yeah, I have anxiety disorders, I sleep bad at night, my hamster is sick, his name is Crumbs
11:15 – Okay, I have to follow those guys without getting caught
11:17 – Where I am, I’m literally undetectable
11:18 – All I have to do is remain discreet –
11:20 – Guys, I found a dude behind the poleeee
11:21 – Wuahhahahha
X
11:22 – Shitty pole, shitty Draken, everything’s shitty, I’m tired of this shitty life!
11:27 – Takemichi, is it you?
11:28 – Shitty Hinata!
11:29 – I love you, Takemichi
11:30 – Lovely Hinata.
11:31 – I saw what those boys did to you, it’s terrible
11:33 – I’m weak, Hinata…
11:34 – Takemichi, you know…
11:36 – It doesn’t matter if you’re not like Mikey and Draken
11:38 – True, they are…
11:40 – A lot more handsome, strong, smart, powerful, charismatic
11:42 – Great.
11:43 – Yeah, great, too
11:44 – Wondrous!
11:46 – It’s ‘wonderful’, dummie. And they are too, but you see Takemichi, the one I chose is you.
11:50 – I have a kink on ugly people.
11:51 – Ah.
11:52 – Huge victims, bleach blond guys who whine all the time, tied-up in the mud like big losers! I like that a lot!
11:57 – Uh… thanks a lot
11:58 – Really, what a loser.
11:59 – [Takemichi chuckles bitterly] What a sucker! [Takemichi: great!]
12:00 – What a failure [Takemichi: it’s getting long] Your mom have to regret you so much!
12:02 – Stop pushing it, shut up!
X
12:04 – Draken, beware those guys want to kill you!
12:06 – Is that so? They aren’t here to play Uno?
12:07 – What make you think that??
12:08 – The fact there’s fifty of them?
12:09 – the baseball bats?
12:10 – or the fact they already beat the shit out of me, ASSHOLE?!!??!?
12:12 – You just all collectively decided to bust my balls today or what?!!
12:14 – Don’t worry, I’m here!
12:16 – [Mikey
“Nobody has to worry, he’s here.”]
12:17 – And above all, I have a plan!
12:19 – [Mikey
“And above all, he has a plan.”]
12:20 – So you’re Mikey
12:21 – [tries to kick Hanma’s face, fails]
12:23 – OK, I don’t have a plan anymore!
12:24 – [Takemichi] Your plan was just to kick him in the jaw?!!?!
12:26 – [Mikey] I’m a lil vandal from the neighborhood, not a military strategist
12:28 – [Toman] Don’t worry, guys!
12:31 – [Takemichi] Oh wow! The Tokyo Manji kai is entirely here!
12:35 – Uh… And so? What do we do?
12:37 – [Mikey] Well I don’t know. Uh... There are rules to start? Or a turn of phrase that I could use to start this confrontation?
12:44 – Fuck ‘em up!!!
12:45 – Thanks, I’ll remember it!
X
12:49 – Wait I have another plan to stop this massacre!
12:51 – I’m going to show them my powers
12:54 – Come here, you
12:55 – Uh, what the fuck are you doing, let me go!
12:56 – Shhh, relax yourself, your eyelids are heavy
12:59 – What the fuck is he doing?
13:00 – Think of a sound that soothes you like…
13:01 – A fork scratching against a plate!
13:03 – It doesn’t relax me at all, I want to punch someone
13:05 – [Draken:] Mikey for the fiftieth time this week, you are not a hypnotist!
13:08 – Wait, I’m sure he’s thinking of the number 5!
13:10 – That’s mentalism, not hypnotism!
13:12 – Yeah, and sorry but I was thinking of the number 7
13:13 – Shit.
X
13:14 – I have to find Draken!
13:15 – I know my therapist tells me I’m paranoiac but I’m convinced that a protagonist from a manga published in the weekly shonen jump magazine is observing me.
13:21 – And so I’m going to announce out loud what I just did.
13:23 – I stabbed Draken~
13:25 – DRAKENNNN!!!!
X
13:27 – Well frankly I’m fine
13:28 – You must be joking, there was 2 litters of blood on the ground
13:30 – Well if there’s 2 out it leaves 3 inside
13:32 – It’s… Factually correct
13:34 – It’s more than enough to vascularize my two enormous balls
13:35 – …
13:37 – Okay.
13:38 – And when will you be able to walk again?
13:40 – Well here, right now
13:41 – Ah, great
13:42 – And you know what, the guy may have stabbed me in the stomach but my digestive system is still intact, watch this-
13:46 – Draken!
13:47 – One second- – Draken!
X
13:48 – Takemichi, you saved Draken!?
13:49 – I don’t know if that’s exactly like that I’d say it but–
13:52 – YOU SCREWED DRAKEN?!!???!
13:53 – That’s not what I meant!
13:55 – Either way, I have good news for you, Takemichi
13:56 – Hinata!
13:57 – Takemichi!
13:58 – Enjoy it! [whisper:] It’s not going to last
13:59 – What?
14:00 – Let’s go, it’s time for the date! Have a nice evening!
14:01 – [whispering] It’s going to be short [Hinata:] What?
X
14:02 – This date is so romantic
14:04 – I love being left to gather dust for thirty minutes alone in a car
14:07 – Well… I’m going to put some music…
[the soundtrack is a famous short French song where children ask their father to push on the ‘mushroom’/throttle pedal if he’s a ‘champion’]
14:14 – [GAME!]
14:16 – Hinata, NO!
14:17 – Quick, get out of here!
14:18 – I don’t get out of here before the release of What The Cut 38! [a series of videos well-known and legendary of French Youtube. Stopped years ago after episode 37. Some people are still asking for more despite the creator’s refusal]
14:20 – Hinata, you can’t reasonably stay in an ablaze car for eternity!
14:24 – Well if that’s the case, not before Michel Drucker’s death! [well-known French TV presenter. Has been doing his job for years, still isn’t retiring. French equivalent of Elisabeth II (until she died at least)]
14:25 – Be realistic, it’s never going to happen!
14:28 – He’s almost 80 years old! Maybe at the moment people are watching this video he’s already–
14:30 – Shh, shh, shh. Listen to me closely
14:32 – You speak ill of whoever you want, but not my Mich-Mich, ‘kay?
X
14:34 – [bored voice-over] We today weep for Hinata Tachibana’s death
14:36 – Well, you cry, I personally don’t give a shit
14:38 – [Takemichi thinking] I’m sure there was better picture of her
14:40 – Fate persists, I wonder what may have killed her
14:42 – Well the truck that charged into her, isn’t that what you told me?
14:45 – Ah, yeah, yeah, that, the truck… [the joke is that he choked her in the car for speaking ill of Michel Drucker]
14:46 – If Draken’s death isn’t the problem it means it comes from somewhere
14:49 – No kidding…
14:50 – We don’t have any choice left, we have to get rid of the source of evil, we have to stop of Tetta Kisaki
14:54 – How can we do that?
14:55 – Honestly,/
14:56 – Liar, you’re not even /
14:57 – I’m going to /
14:58 – That’s what is called a pleonasm,
14:59 – /
15:00 – Well, fuck it, I have no more idea, manage by yourself so Kisaki does not go up in the Tokyo Manji kai hierarchy.
X
15:06 – Congrats, Tetta Kisaki, you go up in Tokyo Manji kai hierarchy!
15:07 – [Takemichi] You must be kidding me!!!
15:09 – No, I’m not. For example, there I am: Where do biscuits go to dance?
15:13 – [random Toman member] To the bisco club!
15:14 – [Mikey, whining] That’s not fair, they already knew it…
X
15:15 – Tetta doesn’t seem to be joking around...
15:17 – He’s truly scary
15:18 – Murderous look, eyebrows shaped like devil horns, small earring…
15:21 – Dude’s well-groomed
15:22 – In reality I could go stab him right at this very moment and take care of the problem!
15:25 – [punch & pain sounds]
15:27 – But no! We are going to get into a ‘peace&love’ plot, without violence, without going overboard, without doing anything!
X
15:30 – It’s time to get crazily violent
15:32 – This bastard, Baji left to join Walhalla
15:34 – What? He died a true viking while doing honor to Odin?
15:36 – Not at all, that’s the name of the gang opposite
15:38 – It’s too complicated, there’s too many gang…
15:40 – It’s the series principle: war among gangs
15:41 – You think that’s what we call a ‘Gang Bang’?
15:45 – … Anyway, bring me Baji back
X
15:46 – Hi. Kazutora.
15:47 – What do you mean ‘Kazugotya’? Who’s he? He’s following me? Who’s that ‘Kazu’?
15:50 – Nah, that’s my name
15:51 – Your nana?!!
15:52 – You’re really gonna have to make an effort here, bro
15:53 – Uh, Where are you bringing me to?
15:54 – Don’t worry, we’re going to check on some friends
15:55 – [Chifuyu’s sounds]
15:58 – It… It does check hard
16:00 – Get in.
16:01 – No… Thanks
16:02 – Get in.
16:03 – [Takemichi whining+Chifuyu’s sounds]
16:04 – Do you know the shared trait between a magician with a cold and your mother last night?
16:07 – Both do extraordinary things and shout “Baji! Baji”! (‘magic! magic!’ But pronounced with a cold)
16:10 – [Chifuyu] He’s getting ratio-ed and he’s yelling ‘baji-baji’?
16:13 – Big flop!
16:15 – Baji! Uh… Come back?
16:17 – Don’t wanna
16:18 – Fuck, he’s good at this!
X
16:19 – [Chifuyu crying]
16:20 – Ah! You speak Crybaby too!?
16:21 – I’m not a crybaby, I just got my face bashed in
16:23 – Come on, please, to make me happy…
16:25 – Okay, alright…
16:26 – [(cry)baby language]
16:28 – What?!! I’ve never heard such shocking language!
16:30 – Is that so? And if I told you I had the key to who is hiding behind Valhalla gang?
16:32 – What key, that key?!! (*alternatively: A key? What key?)
16:33 – Ah, you knew it too?
16:34 – Well no, I’m asking you
16:36 – But you just said it
16:37 – Uh?
16:38 – Uh?
16:39 – Ohhhhhhhh!… No, I don’t get it
16:40 – Well, Key-that-key (*key-what-key) in one word it’s…
16:42 – A syntaxical mistake…
16:43 – That’s not– ‘Tetta’
16:44 – You, /
16:45 – Tetta Kisaki!
16:47 – Well, ‘Gesundheit’! What do you want me to say?!!!
X
16:48 – Kisaki is the one leading Walhalla
16:50 – wuHAT. Hell and damnation! I’m staggered!
16:52 – Draken – you are BALD?!!!????!
16:54 – [Draken] It’s him, I don’t have the shadow of a doubt
16:55 – Nor the shadow of a single hair!
X
16:56 – I have no idea on how to stop Tetta Kisaki
16:58 – With handcuffs? – Shut the fuck up
16:59 – By reading him his right…
17:01 – Why did I trust you… Give me a real idea!
17:03 – Okay, mark carefully everything I’m going to tell you
17:04 – On Halloween there’s going to be a real blood bath, a brawl between Walhalla and Toman. It’s the moment where Mikey is going to start to lose it. Because Baji is going to die and Mikey will take out his frustration on Kazutora until he dies. It’s easy: I need to prevent Baji’s death and avoid that Mikey flips out. What do you think?
17:18 – Two out of ten
17:19 – Uh?
17:20 – No, not ‘one’, two out of ten
17:21 – What are you talking about?
17:22 – Well you told me to mark everything you were telling me
17:23 – / Not like that, mark with a pen!
17:26 – Ah, well I can mark your grade on a sheet if you want but I don’t see where it leads us to
17:29 – Rrrrrrahhhhh
17:30 – Send me back!
17:31 – Uh… /
17:32 – Send me back in time!
X
17:33 – Listen, Kazutora, we have to start up anew with a healthy beginning
17:36 – You know, we were all tight-knight back then,
17:38 – and nobody understood why you’re that angry with Mikey
17:40 – That’s not difficult, I killed his brother
17:41 – You see, that’s precisely that nobody understands
17:43 – I killed this dude’s brother, I’m not going to FORGIVE him
17:46 – Do you listen to yourself when you talk? Do-Do you even understand yourself?
17:49 – I kill this dude’s brother and he’s there chill and he has the audacity to look at me in the eyes
17:52 – Mister, is there a medical history of strokes in your family?
17:54 – Time will probably do what it does. But if I kill his mom by then he’s going to hear me!
17:58 – Fuck it, you’re only taking shit!
17:59 – I got it, between us there won’t be any truce!
X
18:01 – Enough with the yakking, fuckers,
18:03 – This clash will be a logic test.
18:05 – Is that okay with you, Kazutora?
18:08 – WHY AM I HITTING YOU??? EXPLAIN!! I HATE YOU!!!
18:11 – Well, then we’ll do that by fighting
18:13 – oh fuck yeah.
18:14 – Hey, Mikey!
18:15 – Remind me: how do you start a clash, already?
18:18 – [inhale] FUCK ‘EM UP!!!!
18:19 – YEAH!!!!
X
18:22 – I warned you, Mikey!
18:23 – You can flee all you want
18:24 – – Kazutora-gotya!
18:25 – You wield the language great, but we’re going to see this
18:27 – BEWARE, HERE IT GOES,
18:28 – MIKEY-KICK!
X
18:30 – Gabriel Chantouin, you are a physic professor at Sorbonne, what do you think about what we just saw?
18:36 – It’s shit
18:38 – [inhale]… Thank you, Gabriel Chantouin–
X
18:40 – Guys! Mikey is exhausted
18:41 – Time to beat the fuck out of him at 60 versus 1 with blunt objects while he has no way of retaliating!
18:47 – Like real men?!!
18:48 – Like real men!!!
18:49 – YEAH!!!
18:50 – No, MIKEYYYYYYY!!!
18:51 – Hold, stop!
18:52 – Wait, zoom?
18:53 – Oh wow
18:54 – WoaOOOAaooAAw
X
18:56 – Gabriel Chantouin, you are still a physic professor at Sorbonne
18:59 – What do you think about the prominence of the posterior of the young man we just saw?
19:03 – Like we said back in my days:
19:04 – it’s an ass for champions.
19:06 – …
19:07 – Thank you, Gabriel Chantouin–
X
19:09 – Baji, you shouldn’t do that alone!
19:11 – What are you talking about?
19:12 – Stop playing innocent,
19:13 – we’ll both say what we think at the same time!
19:15 – One, two, three!
19:17 – Baji: go out with Madison Beer
Chifuyu: Stop Tetta Kisaki!
19:18 – Madison Beer? But, what about Tetta Kisaki?
19:20 – Uh… Tetta Kisaki, yeah, yeah he’s my goal
19:22 – Well, no, not to go out with him, but stop him, I…
19:25 – Fuck.
19:26 – You have a plan of action?
19:27 – Yeah, first step is to type to survive
X
19:29 – AAaaaAAOUCH
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, BAJI!
19:31 – WHY DID YOU STAB MY RIB, YOU ASS?
19:33 – THIS IS ALL MIKEY’S FAULT!
19:34 – AND HIS BROTHER!
19:35 – AND THIS ICE CREAM MAN AT THIS SQUARE TWO YEARS AGO
19:37 – WHO GAVE ME A PISTACHIO SUPPLEMENT
19:39 – WHEN I DIDN’T ASK FOR IT!!!
X
19:40 – Hi.
19:41 – It’s the voice-over.
19:42 – I wasn’t there in the previous parody video
19:43 – It feels weird, doesn’t it?
19:44 – Yeah…
19:45 – And now, a brief sum up of episode 21:
19:47 – [Mikey machine-guns Kazutora]
19:48 – Wait, he’s going to kill him at this point
19:49 – [Mikey machine-guns Kazutora]
19:50 – Maybe we should separate them?
19:51 – [Mikey machine-guns Kazutora]
19:52 – So young and so dead!
19:53 – [Mikey machine-guns Kazutora]
19:54 – Why do none of these assholes lift a finger?!!
19:55 – [Mikey machine-guns Kazutora]
19:56 – Wait, I just got stabbed and nobody gives a shit?
19:58 – My natural need for attention is not met!
20:01 – GUYS!
20:02 – (ah, I stop moving)
20:03 – The samurai tried to commit seppuku
20:05 – But he failed,
20:07 – he didn’t have the guts to do it!
20:08 – Unlike me!
20:11 – (Woaw, awk–ward) (*the guy’s awkward)
X
20:13 – Repeat after me Kazutora, this is all…
20:16 – Baji’s fault?
20:17 – No! That’s not the right answer, Kazutora! Bad!
20:20 – It’s, it’s…
20:21 – The ice cream man’s fault!
20:22 – No, Kazutora! Very badly answered, bad boy! (*naughty boy=
20:24 – (whines)
20:25 – /
20:27 – /
20:28 – /
20:29 – /
20:30 – (whines)
20:31 – Go ahead and rot in jail, Crazytora
20:32 – Wuuhat?
X
20:34 – Welcome to your house, Master Takemichi!
20:36 – The timeline changed: I’m a high-ranking yakuza
20:38 – Which means…
20:40 – Which means!
20:41 – Hinata Tachibana is dead.
20:42 – I don’t give a single fuck! I’m rich!
20:44 – I can pay an escort twice as hot!
20:46 – I can finally live as I want to!
X
20:47 – You’re going to die here and now
20:49 – Who’s this guy!?
20:50 – Takemichi, times changed
20:52 – Nowadays I am at the top of a financial empire
20:54 – I have an army ready to kneel for me
20:56 – And contrary to the comedian voicing me,
20:58 – – I still have hair
20:59 – Eh!
21:02 – [moan]
21:03 – [through gritted teeth] Tetta… How do you do to--
21:05 – Have eyebrows this greatly trimmed?
21:06 – It’s two hours every week at the esthetician’s on Mondays at 2:30 pm,
21:10 – Sabrina truly has nimble fingers
21:11 – I was mainly wondering how you can sleep at night, you filthy monster!
21:14 – It’s easy really, 2 hours of ASMR nature sounds and chamomile tea
21:18 – He has such perfect answers I’d almost forgive him for the bullet he’s going to shoot in my head in a few seconds
21:21 – Oh, no, come on! You spoiled me!
21:24 – I myself wasn’t aware I was going to do it,
21:26 – I was enjoying hesitating, fUckk
21:29 – Well, when it’s time to go…
21:30 – [gunshot]
21:31 – chiFUYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
21:34 – Stop!
YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
21:36 – I didn’t intend to shot, really
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
21:38 – It– It’s getting on my nerves!
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
21:40 – SHUT THE FUCK UP
21:42 – uuU? [Mikey mouse wannabe]
21:44 – Well, Big Bad Guy: introduction, done
21:45 – I didn’t tell you the plan but basically it’s world domination, there
21:48 – And, well, how do I conclude this,
21:50 – It’s always hard, so I…
21:52 – I don’t know,
21:53 – Should I shoot you in the head?
21:54 – Be a very big pathetic loser if you’re okay with it
21:56 – [pants]
21:57 – Okay, you’re okay with it, okay then that’s what we do, I love when business goes nicely like this when,
22:01 – when the agreement is, is mutual
22:03 – Farewell, Takemichi
22:04 – [gunshot]
22:06 – (“Crybaby” starts playing)
[TOKYO CLIFFHANGER クリフハンガ一ズ]
11 notes · View notes
katethevampire · 8 months
Text
All right so the new episodes just came out like 20 minutes ago for me (oh yeah me from the future here it ended up taking me about 3 hours to finish watching the episodes cuz I kept pausing to write stuff in between so uh yeah lol) so everything under the cut will be my live reaction to everything. I'll add time stamps so you know where I'm at in the episodes. I can guarantee you that I will be sticking to my promise about potentially eating paper if I'm wrong about Sir Pentious not dying. Which honestly now I'm not sure if anyone will die, it was pretty much confirmed in a live stream that angel dust isn't going to be the one to die so my money is on one of the Angels. Also I'm using voice to text and while I'll try and fix any misspellings or wrong words I might miss them.
LOTS OF SWEARING PROBABLY also I very much abuse capslock
EPISODE 7
00:51- I love Sir Pentious looking at Keke I just thought I should mention that
01:03- OH MY GOD NO KEKE MOVED TO HIS LAP AND HE'S PETTING HER I LOVE HIM SM
01:10 aw Alastor was sleepy you guys woke him up!
01:22- I CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE RAZZLE AND DAZZLE BEING CUTE CHARLIE IS CRYING
01:29- he did the gay little hand thing
01:50- okay so I've already seen this part because of the small leak but I cannot get over the fact that Alastor has his shoes on the bed!! Like man take those off you're getting it dirty!!!!
01:59- mfs kicking his feet on the bed acting like a high school girl about to ask out her crush on the phone at a sleepover like dude you're a serial killer you can't do this to me 😭 also I should probably slow down cuz I'm making an update literally every 2 seconds
02:18 BROS CHECKING HIS NAILS AND DOING THAT POSE WHILE MAKING FUN OF HER ABOUT THE FACT THAT SHE UNINTENTIONALLY MIGHT HAVE CAUSED THE DEATHS OF MILLIONS 💀💀💀 so fruity i love
2:33- Alasto be like "it's called masking deary. Ever heard of it?"
2:44- if he wasn't saying this in such an evil manner right now I'd be saying he's so me frfr
3:07- what do I even say to that line. He popped off but also like respectfully I think I've heard a third grader say the exact same thing
3:53- OKAY SO I WAS GOING TO SAY SOMETHING BUT I'VE COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN LOOK AT THIS FRAME, this could easily be the profile picture for someone's film review channel and I'm not 100% sure that people will understand what I mean by that unless you know a very specific person
04:38- Alastor is in his hat man era
4:33- okay so a few things, thank you subtitles for telling me that the music is edgy I feel like just the word tense would have worked on its own but I appreciate it nonetheless. Number two, I don't like seeing the girlies be mad at each other :(
05:34 I will support my boy Sir Pentious through and through he did nothing wrong!!
06:54- not the voice I was expecting for Rosie but pop up Queen she speaks the truth
07:24- ROSIE KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE ALASTOR. Also his confusion, I love him so much
11:04- she's kind of like that one Pokemon
Ad time!- I DON'T CARE ABOUT VITAMIN PILLS THAT DOUBLE MY LIFESPAN
11:13- catabettes! Cannibals and catabettes!!! This is going into my vocabulary from now on. Also this frame that I paused at I love her face.
11:57- ugh, susan. All my homies hate Susan
12:54- I have a dream, I'm here to cause a scandal in the cannibal square
13:37- :( well it wasn't obvious to me I just thought the x over the eye was to look cool :(
14:35- SONG FUCK YEAH
15:26 If this song came out years ago I know for a fact there would have been an undertale parody version of it. Also I just got a cosmic brownie and some chocolate milk let's go guys we're eating good tonight
16:00 HOLY FUCKING SHIT SHE CAN JUST GROW BACK HER WINGS
16:30- therapist Rosie is not something I thought I'd be seeing today but honestly I love it. Also I don't think I'm going to be able to finish these episodes today because I'm only a little over 15 minutes through and I've been watching for like almost over half an hour and also I just realized that what if Lucifer is the one that dies?
18:12 ALASTOR GAVE HER HIS MICROPHONE I'M GOING TO EXPLODE INTO A BAJILLION CRYING PIECES RAHHHHHH
19:38 I'm going crazy I'm going insane right now bro literally what how I don't know what to say I love this act I don't know, it's just really good I don't know what to say like this is cool I don't I DON'T KNOW! IT'S I I LIKE IT everybody in cannibal town is cool and I like them and it's like 10 seconds later now and they're literally So based like free food like so me I don't know I'm just rambling at this point
20:56 ALASTOR AND ROSIE'S LITTLE DANCE THEIR LITTLE TIPPY TAPS OH MY GOD YES
21:06- alastor, you know it's not right to make someone your political puppet. Your little dances are cute though so I'll allow it for now.
I don't know why it thought I was speaking Spanish for a second but anyways that episode was really cute and good and I liked it but I'm also scared for the next episode cuz like now I'm wondering is someone actually going to die or were people just lying. I feel like either Adam is going to be the one to die or it's going to be Lucifer cuz they mentioned a lot in the previous episode about how Charlie needs to take up the throne and get ready to take her place on the throne like why does she need to take her place on the throne? Isn't that her dad's job??? Please don't kill Lucifer off please please please 🙏 also I'm still not on board and probably will never will be on the whole political puppet thing. Like I just know I just have a feeling in my bones that alastor's favor is going to be something like "Let me be the ruler of hell lololol" or something anyways
EPISODE 8
01:01-Why are you watching other men get fucked?🤨 (/j)
01:19 🥺 I love 🥺 I oove him so 🥺 so much 🥺🥺🥺 does he have a spatula like spongebob
02:02- wait so how is Vox watching them like does he have bug cameras in the air like those little guys in v3 (woah now I have to put a Danganronpa spoiler on this)
03:42 SOFT ALASTOR FANFICTION WRITERS QUICK WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN!!!
04:18- I'm not even the biggest huskerdust shipper but awwwww also I don't ship him with anyone but I just want to see Sir Pentious happy pleaseeee also the little Melody of loser baby in the background
04:48- ugh I am clutching my heart right now Sir Pentious is my SON and I LOVE HIM
04:58- what the fuck that ao3 tag was canon this WHOLE TIME???? WHEN DID YOU GUYS HEAR ABOUT THIS?????
05:05- I told you angel dust wasn't going to die
05:38- it's like the song but different! Reprise it's called a reprise also is Mimzy gonna come back
07:15- Vox, you know that you guys are going to die if they lose too right?
Okay I can't timestamp this cuz I'll just be pausing every 2 seconds but just know that everything I'm saying after this is from 07:52 to whatever number I put after later right here->09:47
Okay, so this might be a weird comparison but you know like My Little pony Battle scenes? This feels like that in the very best way possible where they have the scenes with all the different characters fighting with the different music.
Oh my God yes Cherry bomb and angel dust I love them also that was a fire transition also I JUST NOTICED THAT SIR PENTIOUS HAT ALSO HAS THE EYE DOES HE JUST HAVE I HATS FOR EVERY OCCASION
Uh oh Adams angry he's going to do a my hero academia
Oh shit it actually worked that's not good.
I TOLD YOU I CALLED IT VOX IS HORNY
Oh my God that is such a cool shot guys someone should make that frame of Alastor their computer background
OH MY GOD WHOEVER ANIMATED THAT SCENE I LOVE YOU I'M LITERALLY GIVING YOU A METAPHORICAL KISS ON THE MOUTH IN THE PLATONIC SENSE ALASTOR LOOKED SO COOL
Guys I think Adam's going to die
😨 okay so Alastor's microphone just broke and I paused it to add that emoji but as I did the people I live with got home so I'm going to have to pause it for there? I'll update if I get prime working on my phone. Also isn't alastor's microphone alive? Maybe that's the character that died.
Update: all right I got it set up on my phone about 30 minutes later now we're resuming
09:47- okay so I think it's interesting that Alastor pretty much lost all his powers as soon as his microphone broke, my guess is probably that whoever has his soul (lilith, eve, or anyone else) gave the mic to him.
09:53- I like the detail that Alastor is still smiling even though he literally just got slammed against the wall, also Vox has the biggest hate boner for Alastor like
10:02- Alastor: "Have to disagree with you there, radio's not dead." Hun you are bleeding out I'm sorry but I don't think you can gaslight girlboss your way out of this one, also I'm sorry to tell you but the only thing they play on my local radio station now besides music is like, a show that's only on at like 7 in the morning where people call to complain about how their husband wraps Christmas presents
10:38- haha silly also EGGS!!
10:43- NO WAIT MY BRAIN DIDN'T REGISTER THAT THAT EGG WAS CRACKED THEY KILLED THE FUCKING EGG!!!!!! Angel, kill them.
11:12- no no no Sir Pentious you better not I don't want to eat paper
11:21- good for him
11:44- NO GOD DAMN IT PLEASE HAVE A REVEAL THAT ALASTOR OR LUCIFER OR SOMEONE ELSE SAVED HIM PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏 I AM BEGGING ON MY HANDS AND KNEES
12:03- okay this is really cool but is he actually dead cuz I'll legitimately be really sad if so
12:50- *that one vine* "*gasp* Adam."
13:23- KILL HIS ASS CHARLIE
14:12 yes Vaggie, queen shit
SIR PENTIOUS ARE YOU DEAD /J OR /SRS?????
14:35 I KNEW IT I KNOW HE WAS GOING TO COME BACK I MEAN I GOT KIND OF SPOILED CUZ I I SAW THE COVER OF THE EPISODE BUT WOAH 10/10 ENTRANCE
14:44- gasp! His face!
15:00- he is, so stupid. I love him.
15:51-okay I went quiet for a minute cuz there were so much happening but oh my God what do I even say this is just so cool also I don't know if this is intentional or not but the blood stain on Charlie's hair is shaped like an apple
16:34- NIFFTY RAHHHHHHH
17:08- wait okay I had a brief thought that maybe lute was actually Eve but I think I'm wrong on that
17:13- Sir Pentious would've liked pancakes :((((((
Ad Time! I don't care about hard Rock Cafe I just want to know whether or not Sir Pentious is actually dead please I'm going through all the stages of grief right now and Brandan Rogers just came on my screen as Katie killjoy please
18:04- Keke :(
Oh my God they're going to find him in the rubble right? ... Right?? Right guys right???????
18:10- fat nuggets survived that's good I see a rock that looks suspiciously shaped like Sir Pentious military hat whoa guys I wonder if that means anything and it looks like it's up like someone is standing? Whoa I wonder if they'll check behind that rock please
18:16- wait is he actually dead I'm genuinely about to cry
19:16- I am not crying about his death until the episode ends I am not crying until it is 100% CONFIRMED that he died
20:50- omg alastor's alive, he's in his Jack's skeleton era that means that maybe Sir Pentious is also-
21:08- friends :) he said friends just saying
22:04- I TOLD YOU I FUCKING TOLD YOU I TOLD YOU THAT BY DYING IT WAS JUST A CHARACTER BEING REDEEMED I TOLD YOU I'M SO SMART I'M NOT EATING PAPER HAHAHAHAHA I'M THE GREATEST MAN ALIVE HE'S NOT DEAD MY SNAKE BOY ISN'T DEAD HOW DID I GET SO ATTACHED TO HIM I DON'T KNOW BUT I LOVE HIM YES I CAN'T EXPRESS MY EMOTIONS RIGHT NOW I'M GENUINELY SO HAPPY THIS IS WHY THIS IS WHY I WAITED UNTIL THE VERY END TO CRY ABOUT HIM I KNEW HE WASN'T GOING TO BE DEAD THEY WOULDN'T KILL HIM OFF THEY WOULDN'T KILL MY SNAKE BOY OFF JUST LIKE THAT
22:34- you're telling me Lilith was just doing hot girl shit on the beach for 7 years.
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aerialworms-art · 8 months
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I've been wanting to do hourly comic day for ages, finally remembered (at 00:01 on 2nd feb), and here we are! I had a lot of fun with this!
Featuring (in order of appearance) my child Fluffy, Narcissus the brachycephalic cat, Prince the sentient mop dog, and Cassie the-not-so-fluffy-but-also-black cat. And @salty-lich-queen makes an appearance from 19:00-23:00!
I've put a transcript of all the text under the cut cause I was focused on sticking to the hourly thing and forgot about nice lettering 😅
Transcript:
[Page 1]
02/02/2024 (definitely hourly comics day)
00:00-01:00
Me: Ooh, look, hourly comics! There's a lot of these. When is it again?
Search bar: When is hourly comics day? Search results: 1st Feb hourly comics day Me: Aw, fuck.
Me, thinking: No-one will mind if I do it today instead, right? Arrow pointing at me: Going to get snack Arrow pointing at tinsel: Tinsel from 4 Xmas ago Arrow pointing at toy snakes: Snakes from Halloween
Caption: [Int. - Bedroom]
Sweet packet: SWEETS
Me: Oh! Fluffy, thinking: For me? Caption: A surprise kitty!
01:00-02:00
Me, thinking: WTF is wrong with this guy? Caption: Watching Dungeon Meshi for the first time!
Arrow pointing at me: Brushing teeth
Fluffy, thinking: I CRAVE WOTER
02:00-??:??
Caption: Thinkin' bout those old men <3
11:00-12:00
Me: UUUUUUUUGH
12:00-13:00
Me: come... closer...
Me: Time to get up! Fluffy, thinking: Bye!
Me: Actually, I'll just draw some comics first Fluffy, thinking: Oh?
Caption: A few minutes later... Me: Thank you for keeping my foot warm Fluffy, thinking: It's free real estate
Arrow pointing at my dad: My dad My dad: I keep losing books... My dad: Like this Ian Banks one - Me: Oh! The one that's been in the loo for a week?
My dad: AHA! Caption: (yes, it was that one)
13:00-14:00
Caption: Watching more Dungeon Meshi Me/my tea: sluuurp
Me, singing: VOULEZ VOUS! AHA! TAKE ME NOW OR LEAVE Caption: shower ABBA time!
Caption: Back in the bedroom... Me, singing: -DANCE WITH YOU HONEY! IF YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY! DOES YA MOTHER KNOW THAT
Fluffy, thinking: I'm out.
14:00-15:00
Title: The Exciting Adventures of Artie and Fluffy: Leaving the house!
Me: C'mon then! Fluffy: Mow! Mrow! Cat count: 1
Neighbour: Oh! Hello! Cat count: 1
[Page 2]
Me and the neighbour: Small talk Cat count: 1 Dog count: 1
Me: Here, I'll hold her, you go past Fluffy, thinking: DIE Arrow pointing at dog: Oblivious Cat count: 1 Dog count: 1
Me: Hi buddy! Cat count: 2 Dog count: 1
Narcissus, thinking: Friend or Foe? Arrow pointing at Fluffy: Oblivious Cat count: 2 Dog count: 1
Caption: We carried on... Me: Oh! Hello! Cat count: 2 Dog count: 1
Cat count: 2 Dog count: 2!
Fancy lettering: PRINCE! Cat count: 2 Dog count: AWWW
Cat count: 2 Dog count: 2
Cat count: ? Dog count: 2
Cat count: 3! Dog count: 2
Me: Uh oh
Fluffy, thinking: BOO!
Cassie, landing on Prince's head: DONK!
Me: Dude, you ok? Prince, thinking: Look! I can catch my tail!
14:30-15:30
Fluffy, thinking: That's not how I look. Caption: Whoops, spent an hour on this! Cat counter: 3 Dog counter: 3 (one went past while drawing)
15:30-16:00
Me, thinking: Alas, we must part, my love! Fluffy, thinking: What was that noise? Cat counter: 3 Dog counter: 3
Arrow pointing at Prince: Prince again! coming back from school Cat count: 3 Dog count: 7
Me: At last! Arrow pointing at people in the bushes: Three shady people in the bushes (I didn't ask)
Library: Library
16:00-17:00
PLOTTING A GRAPHIC NOVEL
17:00-19:00
Whatsapp contact name: Mum Me, texting: (15:35) Swim after work? Me: (16:54) Missed call Me: (16:59) Heading to pool now come join me! Mum: On my way! (17:04) Cat count: 3 Dog count: 10+??
Police car: POLICE ILOP Me: oo er...
Arrow pointing at a cop: Was saying something about a break-in :S Arrow pointing at cop holding a bag: Stolen goods? Drugs? Arrow pointing at fence behind them: My old infant school
[Page 3]
17:00-19:00 cont.
Scribbled out drawing: IGNORE THIS
Me, thinking: I'm no ordinary girl~
(action) Mum: WAVE! (action) Me: WAVE!
19:00-23:00
My laptop screen: UPERNATURAL
23:00-00:00
Arrow pointing at my chair: Ergonomic chair for back pain Me, thinking: What am I doing?
Me, thinking: Ah, yes. Tumblr logo: t Tumblr post: ~~~~~~DC COMICS Me, thinking: Thinkin' bout those old men again <3
Me: Time for bed!
Fluffy, thinking: Time for FOOD.
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rayofmisfortune · 6 months
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*confused crying*
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Rayyyyy they're being mean to the British baby againnn
Moon's going on a killing spree based on WORD OF MOUTH IMPLICATIONS from A VILLAIN who would FIND ENJOYMENT IN WATCHING HIM RUN AROUND IN LITTLE CIRCLES. THEY HAVE ZERO EVIDENCE AGAINST HIM ASIDE FROM CIRCUMSTANCIAL AND HIM BEING A QUIRKY LIL MAN
Poor Sun trying to talk him down, too- @ikamigami was right (at least I think it was them) Moon is paranoid and going off the deep end
I'm on the verge of making a "the canon is not real if I do not look at it" AU so I can pretend the AU is canon and my babies can be happy
Blorbos confiscated. If they can't play nice with their own characters, then they can't play with them anymore :(
(insert free invitation to rant at me)
I WILL GLADLY TAKE THAT RAJT INVITATION MY DEAR FRIEND (oh my gosh I haven't followed you hsve I 😭 AAAAAH GONNA FIX THAT IM SKRRY AH)
This'll be a little long so, the whole rant and ramble is under cut hehe
MY ROSE TINTED GLASSES HAVE BEEN SHATTERED DUDE 😭
I refuse to accept canon as canon so- *drags over RJ AU Ruin Eclipse* THEY ARE THE CANON RUIN NOW I DON'T MAKE THE RULES
BUT TO BE FAIR... I've noticed a few things that should've been a glaring red flag to Ruin still being a little off the rails I guess-
It's a thing we love about them and it makes then unique i guess... but.. but THEIR ACCEPT STAYING THE SAME SHOULD'VE BEEN A GIVEAWAY THE MOMENT THEY CAME BACK ONLINE AFTER REBOOTING
We've HEARD the actuals Ruin Eclipse before on.. very few occasions.. BUT WE HAVE HEARD THEM! (In the episode where Ruin rescued Foxy and the first Interview with Jigsaw) it wasn't for a long time but... the ACTUAL Ruin Eclipse had talked through Ruin on few occasions.
Linking them below here
With this ^ one, I think that when they start chanting "save me" it was already Jigsaw back in full control.
BUT WHAT I MEANT! Do we hear a poor british accent in any of these instances? NO WE DO NOT!
With this one v
I'm not sure what this one meant. When the video first came out I thought we were hearing Ruin Sun and Moon talking through Ruin who was going on and on about needing to get back to connection and internet..
I mean.. from the Ruin DLC, we know they can probably seperate and talk for themselves?? As seen with Sun who thanked Cassie after being rebooted into Eclipse. (Yes I'm dragging the canon dca into this, Ruin WAS based on that DCA itteration after all..)
And what do we hear when Ruin gets rebooted?
RUIN'S BRITISH ACCENT! I'm probably looking too deep into just how their voice sounded at first vs now... by all means they could've changed their voice over time (as was seen with Puppet). But... I dunno... if they really were just playing everyone a fool this whole time.. I don't think the voice is something we should overlook.
Granted... I believe a lot of things with Ruin may have been retconned or rewritten after the DLC came out. (As canon Eclipse acte nothing like the teams Ruin at the time)
ANYWHO WHY DID I DRAG THIS BEAN OVER HERE YOU ASK? *gestures to RJ AU Ruin Eclipse* well!
Because of a little theory and hc of mine I've slapped onto them! The antivirus DID NOT get rid of the virus as a whole. RJ Ruin Clipsy over here needs to take periodical dosages of the cure to keep the virus at bay and chip away at it to finally be rid of it!
That... that's what I'm gonna hold onto as the reasoning behind how Ruin acts. The actual Eclipse (and even Sun and Moon) is still somewhere in there. As seen in the clips listed above.
Just- PLEASE I NEED THEM HERE W/ ME
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moononmyfloor · 1 month
Text
Dashing Youth Ep 26-32 Commentary
Ep 1-10, Ep 11-16, Ep 17-21, Ep 22-25, Ep 33-35, Ep 36-40
Ep 26
Watched everything in 2x because I'm still reeling from prev ep, everyone's busy preaching and talking politics and shit and some of them are right but it pisses me off there's not a single character who'd think from the perspective of that poor little darling who is getting bedded without her consent with every wasted second. Well, Luo Qingyang and Dingzhi do but it's not like they are given that much of screentime.
I can understand that all the parent/grandparents gen are thinking about the "bigger picture" and their priority is to keep their giant families safe before anything else but it wouldn't take much effort for at least one of them to say ONE sympathetic line about Wenjun. Almost all the caring lines that came from everyone had been for Dingzhi, for losing his girl and not about how WENJUN is being taken against her will. Other than LQY and Dingzhi, only Dongjun asked: "Does she want to marry the Prince? If not, I'm in for the fight".
AND AFTER THE FAILURE THAT WAS ABOUT IT
Dingzhi is still alone, his only option is bidding time for 2 yrs till his power grows. And that too only thanks to two kind monks, one of which an old man and the other a literal child. Great. Just great.🥲 If noone else feels pressed enough to help shorten that time might as well just make a casket for the pieces of Wenjun's permanently broken soul by then.
Don't quote "butbutbut in historical times that's what it was like, nobody cared for what an insignificant girl thought" at me.
1. Don't bulk insult ancient people. They were perfectly capable of recognising injustice in matters like this and speak up against it, it's just that it wasn't a winning game most of the time. It's up to the storytellers to decide if you'd have a SINGLE character who'd provide a feminist pov.
2. This is not even a period drama anyway. Period. The storytellers have even less excuse now.
Ep 27
This is the only dynamic that brings me solace in this show now. No wonder that Dingzhi wanted his child to grow up under Reverend Wangyou.
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There are more gays in the block but sorry boys I'm so not in the mood for shipping anymore
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The rest of the ep is full of more heartbreak for Wenjun and disgust towards some others who are not worthy of being mentioned.
Ep 28
So you had six children already, and though you said you were besotted with Wenjun for a while now, you created your sixth child barely two months before marrying her. I'm all for polycules and would even enjoy harems in period settings where it's almost always difficult to not have power imbalance and have 100% happy partners all around, as long as it's shown mutual respect was present and sufficient effort was put in for all the relationships. But here?
Your first wife is freshly pregnant and you weren't patient enough to wait and earn the second wife's consent, I hope your dick rots and falls off.
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Thank you for saying that, Dongjun. 😭 Though I've lost interest in you like, a LOT, I still love you. Also shame on you, Yue Yao. What a waste of your existence as a female character.
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I love this guy solely for having a Targaryen throne and for planning to put the star-crossed lovers together, though it's for his own agenda. At this point, I'll take anything. Since there won't be a happy ending anw, I just want them to have their single illusory pocket which they more than deserve.
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Ep 29
Reunion! 💕
Oooh hiya Simon Chen Junyu! I liked you in your mini BL show Decline, happy to see you again.
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This is what happens when you do inaction and play blind at the face of social problems. You also will be eaten up by it eventually. Now how does that feel like huh?
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Of all Dashing Youth characters, he's the most uninteresting, most useless and least acted well.
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Ep 30
Their characters are sometimes quite reminiscent of Wu Xie's different facets
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Haha I had actually forgotten about this couple
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That was funny. Just two random dudes who appreciate each others swords lmao. ALso hi baby Jade Deity!
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Mood
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Ep 31
This was the baddassest highlight of this ep
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Followed by Dingzhi finally stabilizing his Immovable Lord technique and Dongjun becoming the Liquor Deity. Kudos to Hou Minghao for convincing us that Dongjun has become more mature and serious person through subtle changes in behaviour.
Ep 32
Why does it look like he's having sex with the rain lolz
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I've been missing you and your goofy laugh, Lei Mengsha 🥺
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Fluffy couple outfits for the seniormost pairing in the show hehehe
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Speaking of couples, my babies who have let their guard down the moment in the time they most need it 😔 He Yu got that adoring husband face down to a tee
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WTF show Changfeng had been working his underdog ass off to advance to the elite circles of Jianghu and you wouldn't show his big break and just cheapass illustrate it off???
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Prince Qing who had been the lamest of them all but had the coolest bodyguard lady he so didn't deserve, went out in a cool way but only thanks to her. RIP you won't be missed
So Ruofeng, Ruojin... you were sons of an unfavored consort. Amazing. One would've thought that made you two be men who are considerate about women, let alone those who'd actively fight for women's rights. Smh.
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