#but WHO CARES THEY LOOK BANGIN
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theworstcreature · 9 months ago
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Me discovering I love a music artist and immediately finding ways to see them live
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noirandchocolate · 6 months ago
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‘Because she likes people,’ said the witch, striding ahead. 'She cares about 'em. Even the stupid, mean, drooling ones, the mothers with the runny babies and no sense, the feckless and the silly and the fools who treat her like some kind of a servant. Now THAT’S what I call magic–seein’ all that, dealin’ with all that, and still goin’ on. It’s sittin’ up all night with some poor old man who’s leavin’ the world, taking away such pain as you can, comfortin’ their terror, seein’ 'em safely on their way…and then cleanin’ 'em up, layin’ 'em out, making 'em neat for the funeral, and helpin’ the weeping widow strip the bed and wash the sheets–which is, let me tell you, no errand for the fainthearted–and stayin’ up the next night to watch over the coffin before the funeral, and then going home and sitting down for five minutes before some shouting angry man comes bangin’ on your door 'cuz his wife’s havin’ difficulty givin’ birth to their first child and the midwife’s at her wits’ end and then getting up and fetching your bag and going out again…. We all do that, in our own way, and she does it better'n me, if I was to put my hand on my heart. THAT is the root and heart and soul and center of witchcraft, that is. The soul and center!' Mistress Weatherwax smacked her fist into her hand hammering out her words. 'The…soul…and…CENTER!’ Echoes came back from the trees in the sudden silence. Even the grasshoppers by the side of the track had stopped sizzling. 'And Mrs Earwig,’ said Mistress Weatherwax, her voice sinking to a growl, 'Mrs. Earwig tells her girls it’s about cosmic balances and stars and circles and colors and wands and…and toys, nothing but TOYS!' She sniffed. 'Oh, I daresay they’re all very well as decoration, somethin’ nice to look at while you’re workin’, somethin’ for show, but the start and finish, THE START AND FINISH, is helpin’ people when life is on the edge. Even people you don’t like. Stars is easy, people is hard.’ She stopped talking. It was several seconds before birds began to sing again. 'Anyway, that’s what I think,’ she added in the tones of someone who suspects that she might have gone just a bit further than she meant to.
--Terry Pratchett, "A Hat Full of Sky"
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hwnglx · 4 days ago
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pick a pile - what makes you beautiful? (detailed)
hello dear reader! let's take a look into what makes you so uniquely beautiful. breathe slowly, take your time and use your intuition to go with the pile that speaks to you the most. this is a very specific reading, so it's likely that not every message will speak to everyone. remember to take what resonates, and leave what doesn't. 𓆩♡𓆪
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✰ pile 1 ✰
so, this pile definitely gave me the biggest boss vibes. you have very strong energy, with so much major arcana in my spread. i can tell you are not someone to be messed with. (also kinda feel like you might parent or coddle the other piles lmao)
your beauty lies not only within your immense strength, but also in your ability to stand over situations which can appear very dark and difficult on the outside. i do believe you come with your own struggles, insecurities, doubts and fears which don't seem to always find their way to the surface; but you deal with them in such a graceful and impressive way. i can feel some people being in genuine awe of how you handle trials and tribulations. i do think you've been through certain things which have given you thicker skin. now, you know what you want and need in life, you're aware of your potential and what you can do, so even if a situation presents itself in which you find yourself in self-doubt, you believe in the power of hard work and consistency.
you don't seem like the type to dwell on your problems for too long or allow yourself to drown in self-pity, but moreso like a person who feels this desire to work on whatever troubles you. let's say if a situation presents itself to you, in which circumstances seem unfavourable; rather than complaining or remaining stuck in this hopeless place, you'll likely be the type to think about how you can change and work on your own attitude and mindset instead, in order to come out the other side in a stronger manner. you put a lot of importance into remaining confident and keeping a grip on your self-belief. since you see that as the best version of yourself. you appear to be very mature; even if your age is still young, you seem to have a wise soul and an impressingly reliable, as well as responsible nature. maybe you had to grow up quickly, you just give off this energy of someone who had to learn how to be responsible in life very early on.
considering i got both, the emperor and the empress for you, i think a lot of your beauty also lies in your duality. you're likely to have this balance of both feminine and masculine qualities inside of you. you seem to be the type of person who can be assertive, more self-centered and individualistic in some ways, like you do think it's important to focus on yourself in order to find fulfilment in this world. however this doesn't distinguish the compassionate heart you carry for other people. you're someone with an empathetic and kind nature, someone who wants to take care of the people you love.
you could make a very good parent, actually. i think you balance this sense of responsibility, dependability and solidity, with a nurturing heart, a soft and gentle core. you might be the case of someone with a hard shell but soft interior. i feel like you're the type to root for the underdog. someone who takes people under their wing, protects them from external influences. like you'd take a bullet for the people you cherish. (i do think you might be more selective in that aspect though, like you do have your boundaries straight, and wouldn't just throw your hand in the fire for anyone)
this is a random message i got; some of you also might be on the curvier side when it comes to your bodily built, and it makes you very very beautiful. like i can tell that some of pile 1's bodies are bangin! like yes sir or ma'am, go rock that bod with confidence!
another very beautiful thing about you; you do not fear getting your hands dirty. meaning, you're willing to put in the necessary hard work in life. like “if i have to personally run up this hill for several hours straight, then so be it, as long as i finally get to the top!” you aren't someone who will shy away from bearing burdens and heavy weights on your back, you understand the need to hustle in order to succeed. you can feel this need to improve yourself, put in the required effort to keep getting better at everything you do in life. not just for yourself, but also the people around you. you want to be a comfortable and stable figure in your loved one's lives.
i keep feeling like you're just this person people can lean on with no second thought; someone who will have their back no matter what. very loyal, dedicated and passionate energy within you. i'd personally love to be your friend, like i'd feel pretty lucky! i feel like you're the friend who keeps their promises, who's okay with running errands for others. you'd get things done for someone if they're unable to do so; like e.g. picking your friends up and driving them random places. maybe you're the friend at the party who holds themselves back from drinking in order to be the responsible one making sure everyone gets back home safely. you just seem to have this devotion to the ones you love, and wanting to make them feel safe, as well as cared for. you might also be a huge hype man in their lives, always cheering them on and lighting up any dark place they find themselves in. you have such bright and inspirational energy!
you carry this beautiful balance of; focusing on your own interests, ambitions, desires and goals, but also remaining considerate and caring towards the special people in your life.
✰ pile 2 ✰
oh my gawd, this pile is super cute. so, you immediately strike me as someone very independent and freedom-loving. you love to have your own space, and being able to just do whatever you want, whenever you want. i feel like you just have this very contagious and bright energy, where people might trust you to make the best out of every situation you're in. you seem like a big risk-taker, someone who doesn't fear the concept of change, and isn't afraid of starting all over again if you feel like that's necessary. you're so beautiful, in the way of just being down and ready to do things others might shy away from. you might be the person who will drag your friend out the dark and quiet room and tell them to get out, enjoy the beautiful sun on your skin, connect with mother nature, appreciate the smaller things in life and find happiness in them, because that's where true fulfilment lies. there is this very philosophical and poetic side to you. i keep feeling like you might have significant neptune/jupiter/mercury aspects.. i can just see you running through the blooming fields in this almost movie-like way. (random but do you like ghibli movies? you just give me ghibli character vibes, especially kiki's delivery service 🥹 i love that movie, it's so comforting)
you're beautiful in the way where.. you easily see beauty in the world. you seem so easily excitable, and count all the blessings you have in life. i feel like you're the type to find something positive in everything and everyone. random, but you might love photography, and taking pictures of almost everything around you, just because you can see art in anything or any place. you love exploring new places, new cultures, understanding and learning about people or things completely different to what you're used to. you might like to travel, because you enjoy this thought of getting insight into entirely new lifestyles. you're very open-minded.
you aren't worried about leaving toxic people or situations behind if you feel like they just keep you in a negative place. it's kinda giving been there done that. i think you consciously reject negativity now because you're not at that same place anymore, and especially don't want to be anymore. you're so overly protective of your peace now, because you had to deal with so many tribulations, and took so much on the chin from life in order to get to this place of inner peace. you don't allow anyone to take it away from you anymore.
you also don't seem afraid to completely transform. maybe you even enjoy transforming yourself physically, like you love reinventing yourself and can find your identity in things like your fashion. you enjoy expressing your unique nature in that way. i also just feel like you're such a pleasure to be around, people likely just enjoy your presence because it makes them feel like everything will be okay. did anyone ever tell you about how your presence is therapeutic to them? if not, some people might think that without openly expressing it.
i do think you can be very emotional too, which is another beautiful trait of yours. you might be the type to tear up rather easily, i think your interior is very squishy and sweet. you wear your heart on your sleeve in this beautiful and special way. you not being afraid to express your emotions (although sometimes they can just take over you unintentionally lmao dw i relate..) makes you so extraordinary, it gives you this unique light and glow. don't ever lose grip on this wonderful side of you. don't ever feel ashamed of it, and don't allow anyone to make you think you're anything but beautiful for your passion! i feel like you genuinely care about the world, and everything that it involves. your energy is just so pure and innocent in a way, even if you yourself don't see yourself that way. your intentions and heart read as very sweet.
in addition, your beauty lies in your ability to see opportunity of growth in whatever life throws at you. like pile 1, i do believe you have had to deal with your fair share of challenges in life, but this lead to you being able to see how.. even situations that might look awful from an outsiders perspective, can serve you as a learning lesson. “what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.”
again, you're just so philosophical! i feel like we could just sit down together and discuss life for hours, in such a deep and intriguing manner. you seem to have a lot of understanding of the different complexities of life, just because you've experienced a lot of situations in which you had to adapt or adjust. so there's this natural know-how here, it's almost like you're not scared of life's upheavals anymore. you didn't let it discourage you at the time, so best believe it will not bring you down at this point in time. you're so youthful and almost childlike in spirit, but carry a deep sense of knowledge about life. like some other people might turn all bitter if they went through what you have been through, but you remained soft and sweet in this harsh world, which is such a beautiful trait to have! i sincerely applaud you, and hope you can never lose this truly wonderful spark inside of you.
✰ pile 3 ✰
oh, this pile seems so genuinely nice, but i can sense some struggle here too.. first of all, you read as a very humble and down to earth person. like i truly can't sense a single ounce of arrogance inside of you. you feel like you're an eternal student of life, continuously learning with every experience, and growing endlessly. you give off this energy of someone who's always so eager to expand your skills and knowledge on things. especially if you get hooked on something like a fun hobby, you're just so ambitious and approach the learning process with this modest, but determined attitude. you seem quite capable of dealing with constructive criticism, and take it as a way to further better yourself. like yes tell me what i did wrong, so i can improve. definitely a very hard-working and earnest energy within you.
you're so beautiful, because you live and lead with this sense of compassion and acceptance inside of you. you seem to have high emotional intelligence; as well as a lot of empathy for others. you're the type of person to.. hold this cup filled with love, in a crowd full of people fighting each other. while other people are overly competitive and at each other's throats to win over the other, you seem like the one who prefers seeing everyone as equally worthy of praise, equally lovable, equally deserving of respect. i truly don't see you enjoying to put yourself above others, simply because you don't see why you would want to. like i don't think you fully understand this need to argue and cause problems with others, it irks you.
you even might put other people's needs above yours almost naturally, it seems to come very easy to you. (did some of you grow up with a lot of siblings? i feel like there's this natural tendency to supress not only your own desires, but also your own emotions a lot.. i feel like you might've found yourself in plenty of situations where you needed to swallow your pride, bite your tongue, ignore your own emotions or grant others chances you yourself might've wanted.) you might be the type to politely hold the door open for people even though your arm hurts, offer the seat to the elderly even though you yourself are exhausted, allow your friend to grab the opportunity although you might need it just as much.
i do feel like you're quite peace-loving, and don't enjoy arguments at all. you seem excellent at approaching conflicts and problems in, not only this calm and collected manner, but also with this diplomatic and tender sense of understanding towards all parties. do you have any major libra placements? i can sense this beautifully non-judgemental energy in you, where you always seek harmony, no matter what situation you find yourself in. you also just seem balanced in general, and like not much can tick you off. some people might even ask you “how are you always so calm?” although i feel like you can experience feelings quite intensely once they take over you (i feel like you might cry a lot when you're on your own..) you just don't enjoy openly displaying your emotions, and might have problems expressing them outwardly. again, i keep feeling like this likely stems from a deeply rooted place, maybe you've just naturally aquired this mechanism within you, where you shut off your emotions and internalize them a lot.
you might put a lot of thought into how others view you, might dislike the thought of anyone looking at you as overly dramatic. you also seem pretty perfectionistic, especially in closely managing the way you're perceived by people, or the way you treat people. you might often fear doing them wrong, or overstepping any boundaries. i can sense an avoidance of expressing or asserting yourself strongly again here, because you just don't want anyone to feel like you're doing too much. (i know this is a reading that focuses more on positives, but spirit is telling me this selflessness in you makes you immensely beautiful.. maybe you even have a lot of egocentric people around you, therefore your kindness just stands out even more. don't lose that sincere heart you have for others, however; you need to listen to what you yourself want more as well <3 learn to balance these two sides in you out, because if not, others might take advantage of you)
i do think though, that a lot of this calmness might be a result of your maturity. it's interesting because on the one hand you can feel like the young student who still believes they have so much to learn from life, but at the same time, you do have a lot of valuable advice to give to people, just because you might relate to a lot of the things others go through. you seem amazing at putting yourself in someone else's shoes, i can feel people thinking you're a great listener.
i just feel like your unique beauty lies in this gentle, pleasant and mild energy you bring to the table. you'd be the type of person i could tell my deepest darkest secrets to comfortably, and i feel like you wouldn't mutter a word to anybody. like your friends probably can tell you the wildest sht they've done, without any embarrassment. or call you at any given moment, and you'd be there to listen to their angry rants or rages, and just take it all in quietly.
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queers-gambit · 1 year ago
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Two to Tango
prompt: the aftermath of Carmy's words seem to rattle him more than you.
pairing: Carmen 'Carmy' Berzatto x female!reader pairing: Carmy x Peach
fandom masterlist: FX's The Bear
collection masterlist: Clingy Baby
word count: 5.4k+
note: author still does not want any messages about glorifying toxic relationships. typically, but not always, when someone calls you clingy, it's weaponized and is abusive. this fic is not meant to portray that! it’s meant to show internal agony and the journey to forgiveness - Carmy apologizes 'cause he's actually sorry!
warnings: cursing, reader folds 'cause who wouldn't for the sweet puppy that is Carmy, hurt and comfort, small angst, small fluff, we talk about Mikey a bit, author uses writing as therapy, relationship angst...? barely edited.
part one: God's Plan
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"It's six in the Goddamn morning!" You raged at your front door, stomping up to it, "Are you dumb in the fucking head!? Who the fuck in their right mind knocks like the Goddamn cops at six in the fucking morning!?"
You whipped it open, the force causing a breeze of air to blow your bedridden hair back and highlight your exhaustion. "Hiya, sunshine," Richie beamed down at you, holding up a paper bag, offering, "donut?"
"Richie!? I know you're not fuckin' stupid, baby boy, so, what the fuck is wrong with you? It's six in the morning on my day off - do you want to give me a reason to punch you? You hate your nose that much?"
He tisked at you mockingly, "Someone's cranky this morning."
"What do you want?"
"You're not gonna invite me in for coffee? I brought us donuts! See? C'mon, Peach," He jostled the bag around with a shit-eating, closed-lip smile. "Dooonuts," he taunted.
You had to pause, count to ten in your head, then sigh through your nose. You offered kindly, "Richie? Would you like to come in for some coffee? Since you kindly brought donuts?"
He grinned, "Awwh, thanks, Peach, thats real nice of yah! Don't mind if I do!"
"Don't call me that," you snapped, leading him into your kitchen. The door shut and locked.
"Oh, someone's touchy."
"What do you fucking want?" You whined, pouring two mugs of hot coffee. "You come bangin' at my door, early ass in the mornin'. You better have a good-ass reason," you slid the mug over the counter he sat at. "Cream or sugar?"
He shook his head, fiddling with the mug for a moment before admitting as you dressed up your own coffee, "Uh, so... It's Carmy."
You paused, taking a slow sip from your mug, waiting for more that wouldn't come. So, you quietly asked, "What about Carmy?"
"He's falling apart."
"O...Kay?"
"Peach," he frowned, "you know that your relationship was the only thing that made sense to him - he's falling apart without you there."
"Okay," you nodded, taking another swallow of hot bean-water.
"That's it? Nothing else to say? Dude's losin' his fuckin' shit, Peach. Okay? Barely leaves the restaurant, h-he's all manic and shit, doesn't stop cookin', isn't gettin' a lotta sleep, and Syd said his clothes are all over the apartment - he's not keeping himself in order."
"So, he needs his mother?"
Richie glared with a clenched jaw, "Not fuckin' funny, Peach."
"I'm not laughing."
"He needs you."
"I'd argue otherwise, he's a grown fuckin' man who doesn't need to be taken care of. Look, if he was man enough to call me a desperate, clingy bitch, he's man enough to deal with the fallout of his words."
"Look, hey, hey, hey, I'm not sayin' he's not in the wrong," he waved his hands, eyes widening, "actually, the exact opposite. We all chewed his ass out when we found out what he fuckin' said, Peach. And look, I've never seen Fak that fuckin' angry."
You semi-pouted your bottom lip, "Really?"
"Fak was ready to strangle Carmy, I think," Richie sighed. "I yelled, Sugar yelled, Fak lost his shit, Syd even cornered him in the office and laid into him..."
"I thought she didn't like me," you whispered.
"She's getting to know you, but she likes you," he assured, "and it's obvious the affect you have on Carmy. We all respect that - "
"Oh, great, so everyone except the one person who needs to respect our relationship - respects it!"
Richie frowned at you, nodding in agreement before admitting, "He's a dumb fuckin' idiot, Peach, we all know that, but the dude is losing it without you."
"Sucks to suck."
"Peach," he groaned, slapping his hands to the counter with exasperation. "Don't you love him?"
"Of course I love him, but I also have this little thing called self-respect! He said some shit - shit he can't ever take back. The fuck I look like going back to him when he's the one in the wrong!? I don't hate myself that much, and despite what he says, I'm not that desperate for love."
"How is talking to the man you love - "
"Richie," you paused him, "your Cousin said a lot of hurtful shit. It's been weeks, okay? He's gonna snap outta it, realize what he's done, and right the wrongs he's committed. I don't need to speed that along in any way, shape, or form - he's a grown man. And I'm a grown woman, I don't have to fall to anyone's beck-and-call, he can figure his own shit out."
"I know - look, it's been fuckin' weeks of us dealin' with him losin' his fuckin' mind!" Richie snapped. "We tried to respect that you wanted distance and time, we really did, but he's losin' it, Peach, more than he's lost it before. Okay? I'm concerned about him, more than I was when the shit with Mikey went down..."
You sighed and leaned on your kitchen counter, wiping your fingers over your eyes to pinch the bridge of your nose after. "Okay, okay," you paused, sighing again, blinking as you looked at Richie, "so, what would you like me to do?"
He pouted dramatically, "Talk to him? Please?"
"To say... What?"
"I don't know, you guys can work that out together, but he's miserable, Peach. Just talk to him, just..." He sighed, shaking his head, "I know it's not fair to ask of you, but he's slippin' off the deep end. You're all he knows, all that makes sense to him, and with you gone..." His eyes turned red as he held back his tears, "I-I'm not sayin' he's gonna do anythin', Peach, but everythin' with Mikey's still so fresh... I just - I can't go through this again. Can't lose another Berzatto."
You frowned, understanding now why he appeared so frazzled.
"Carmy's not Mikey, Richie, okay?" You reminded him softly, reaching for his hand; leaving your extended to reach him, "And you're not gonna lose any more of us, you hear me?" You gave a squeeze, "I'll talk to him."
"Really?"
"I will," you assured softly, seeing the single tear drop from his waterline when he bowed his head and sniffled harshly. "Hey, Richie...? Do you, maybe, wanna bring some flowers to Mikey today? Think you wanna visit?"
He shrugged, "Maybe..."
"Maybe it'll be nice," you assured calmly. "It rained a few days ago, so, the ground won't be too soggy anymore, but the grass will be lush and green - hydrated and shit."
"Right," he chuckled, nodding, "yeah, okay, maybe that'll be nice, yeah, you're right."
"Maybe Carmy could use a visit, too."
"He won't go."
You nodded, "I know, but sometimes it's nice to just have the offer."
Richie agreed, downing the last of his black coffee. "All right," he cleared his throat, "let's go - you wearin' that?"
"What?"
"You gonna wear that? To go talk to Carmy?"
"It's not even seven in the morning!"
"He's at the restaurant," Richie shrugged. "Dude doesn't leave. C'mon, he needs a nap or somethin'."
You groaned, knowing he wouldn't leave unless you left with him. So, you got ready quickly while he sat at your desktop computer; playing Facebook's FarmVille - the same you left your little cousins to play when they needed distracted. He was enraptured by the adorable virtual sheep, laughing to himself as he learned the ropes of the game; and when you were ready, you had time to fill a to-go tumbler of coffee while he signed off.
When you arrived at The Beef, it was still closed for the morning prep; and inside, chaos rained in a fury of angry voices. You listened to Carmy snap at Marcus about something petty, going as far as to slap a pastry out of his hand as they argued in one another's faces with ignited passion.
"Ooookay," you moved through the kitchen and got between the two men, hands on Carmy's chest, "that's enough, Chef, hey, hey, hey, c'mon, walk away - just walk away, Carmy, don't do this. Hey, hey, don't do this, c'mon, just step off - walk away with me, please. Please, Carmy, hey, hey, step off, walk away with me, please."
"Fuck you doin' here, Peach?" He asked with red, swollen eyes. He looked sullen; pale between the angry red blotches to his skin, bags under his tired eyes, looking worn out and thinner than you remembered.
"Yeah, hey, hey, we'll talk about that, c'mon, outside, outside, outside," you directed him, sighing at the sight of the splattered pastry you were forced to step over. "I'm so sorry, Marcus," you whispered, seeing him nod and wave you off as you and Carmy pushed outside into the alley.
The door shut behind you, making Carmy snarl, "What the fuck, Peach - "
"No, I think that's better asked to you," you snapped. "The hell's wrong with you? Yellin' at Marcus like that? You know how rude it is to slap shit outta anyone's hand?"
He paced in anger, wiping a hand down his face; circling his mouth with his fingers, eyes ringed with red, hair greasy and tossed in a mess. His pants looked baggy, his shirt wrinkled, stained, and dirty with sweat marks.
"What're you doin' here?" He asked in a pant, hands going to his slender hips, head shaking as his tear-filled eyes avoided yours.
"Carmy, we need to talk."
"No shit," he breathed, scoffing after and widening his pace.
"Hey, Carmy, hey, hey," you reached for him, taking both his wrists in your grasp so he had to face you. "I need you to pause for me, please, hey," you stepped in his way when he tried to move. "Carmy, you're no good to anyone when you're like this - least of all yourself. So, I need you to talk - "
"You left," he panicked, pulling back to start pacing again. "You left - you left me. We got in a fight and you left, you fucking left. You walked away and you left me."
"Carmy, we got in more than a fight," you sighed. "You lashed out at me, then turned avoidant, and I don't linger where I'm not wanted."
"How can you think that?" He demanded, still pacing. "That you're not wanted by me? That you're not welcome, what? In my life? At my side? With me? Baby - of course, you are!"
"You didn't exactly make me feel any different," you pointed out sharply. "Carmy, can you please fucking pause for me so we can talk this out - "
"I know I fucked up," he ranted to himself, huffing and puffing as his emotion strangled him. "I know I did, I kept - I couldn't - I fucked up. I know I did. I couldn't get my head outta my ass," he listed, pacing as he panted when panic took hold of his being, "and I hurt you, and it was like I had to keep hurting you because I couldn't be alone in what I felt and I couldn't exactly figure out what the fuck I was feeling - I just needed you to hurt, too."
"Carmy," you sighed patiently.
"And I couldn't stop, I just kept going, and when I realized how bad I made it, I couldn't fucking stop - I needed y-yo-you t-to know what I felt, but I couldn't find the words. I-I hate that I did that, I-I fucking hurt you and I made this so much worse than it ever had t-to be, and I fucking know, Peach, okay? I know you're not clingy, you were just loving me. Y-You were loving me, you were using your own love languages, and I felt y-you so fuckin' close to me, and freaked out - I just - I just don't know why. I just - I panicked, I couldn't stop whatever I felt, and I'm so sorry," he breathed, shaking his head, wiping his cheeks as the tears started. "I-I-I'm so sorry, Peach, I couldn't control myself and I-I hate that I hurt you, and I know I don't deserve your understanding, but I just - I couldn't stop - "
"Carmy," you stepped directly in his footpath; needing to seize hold of his swollen biceps to catch his movements as he all but barreled right into you, "I need you to breathe."
"Nah, I'm okay - "
"No, you're not," you spoke sternly, shaking your head. "Baby," you eased your tone to a softer tone, seeing a glimmer of hope spark in his baby blues, "I need you to take a breath and remain in the present with me, okay? Just stand here with me," you watched as he blinked a couple of times; reaching out to hold your waist tentatively. "And stay in the present, okay? Stay here with me."
"I'm so sorry, Peach," he whispered, stepping closer so he could feel your breasts against his chest; caging you with his arms. "I'm so fuckin' sorry, I didn't - I didn't know what the fuck I was even trying to fight with you about. You're not clingy - you're not any of the things I said, I didn't mean it - any of it."
"Calling me desperate?"
"I didn't mean any of it."
"A bitch?"
"Please," he whispered, bringing you in closer so he could rest his forehead on yours. "Don't repeat it, I know what I said, and I'm so fucking sorry for all of it. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I'm goin' crazy without yah, Peach. I need my best girl, and I don't deserve you, but I fuckin' need you." He sniffled, pulling back to caress your cheek, whispering, "I need you, Peach, you're the only thing that I know - the only thing I can understand, that makes sense to me. I think I just felt stressed and overwhelmed, I wasn't sure what to do - I couldn't find the words, I'm so sorry."
You nodded slowly, "I think we can work through this."
"I don't deserve you."
"Maybe not, but you have me anyway," you whispered, bringing his forehead to your own again. "But you can't do this again, taking anger out on me when I haven't done anything."
"Never again," he sighed, now nestling into your neck for comfort; arms tightening so you were the closest you could be with your head bent to keep his head caressed with yours.
"I don't think we can say 'never', but we can make an effort to leave work stress at work, right?" You whispered softly, letting one around coil around him to keep him close; the other caressing his jaw. "You don't get to treat me like that," you reminded him, "because I'm on your side, Carmy, I'm not the enemy."
"I know," he squeezed you tight.
"And the people doing their jobs are not the enemy," you smirked.
"I know," he chuckled lightly. "I owe Marcus an apology..."
"I'm sure you owe it to the others, too," you mused, holding his cheek as you turned your head to kiss his forehead. "Promise me we're done with that reactive bullshit. It doesn't make navigating a relationship easier on us."
"We're done, we're so fuckin' done with that shit," he whispered, deflating into your embrace as you held him close. "I'm so sorry, baby. I really am."
"I know," you comforted softly. "I forgive you."
"I don't deserve it."
"Hey, hey, this self-deprecating stunt has to end, too. We've gotta go forward with at least some confidence if we're gonna figure this out together."
He nodded, pulling back but keeping hold of your waist. "I am confident about this... About you - about us."
"Hmm?" You gently pushed a few stray curls from his forehead.
"Move in with me - officially."
Your face contorted in mild disappointment, "Oh, Carmen - "
"No, no," he rushed, sighing as his hand flattened on your jaw and cheek again, "just listen to me. I've wanted to ask you for a long time, okay? I've wanted this for - like - fucking years. Hear me? I just," he sighed, "I wasn't sure how to ask. I want this for us, I want us to be together, okay? Officially. I-I want us living together, Peach, okay? I want to come home and just - I want you there. I want all of you," he frowned, tears swelling again, "and all your shoes in the foyer, hair in the shower drain, perfume on the counter, and every-single-way you know how to love me. I was wrong to say you were clingy - and everything else I said. Baby, the last couple weeks, I've felt so fucking empty, so lonely and - just - cold. I've been cold without you. I need you, Peach, I need you with me, and I need you to be exactly you - no holding back. Because you're exactly who I need to love me, I'm so sorry I fucked that up before."
"Carmy."
He frowned, "I'm sorry."
"I know," you smirked, "and I forgive you. But you know it's gonna take more than a few pretty words and some tears, right?"
He nodded, "Anything to make this work again."
You sighed in patience, "Go say your apologies to the others, we've got t'make a stop before going back to yours - and you're going to take a fucking nap."
"I'm fine - "
"Look me in my eye and try to tell me in the past 72 hours, you've had decent, restful sleep."
He frowned, opening his mouth a few times but then sighing. "You know I can't," he whispered.
"Exactly why we're going back to yours."
Carmy paused, brows furrowing as if a thread pulled them together. He asked softly, "Is that a no to us... Living together? Is that why you're calling it 'my' place?"
You offered him a look of patience and leaned in to peck his lips for a few prolonged seconds, promising, "There's your apartment, there's my apartment, and then there's gonna be our apartment. Somewhere that's just ours, 100% us." His mouth stretched in a grin, so you swiftly cut him off, "But you have to ask me again when you've got restful sleep under your belt. I want you clear headed when you make this kinda decision."
"Yes, ma'am," he agreed. "Where're we goin' before?"
You swallowed nervously, telling him softly, "You absolutely do not have to go with us, but I think Richie could use a visit out to Mikey's grave. I said I'd take him with some flowers, but you do not have to get out to go with us - not if you're not ready."
He blinked a few times, rolling his lips between his teeth as his eyes dropped from yours. You were about to coo his name and assure him again, when he nodded at you and tried to half-smile. "Okay," he breathed.
"Okay?"
"Mhm. I'll, uh... M-Maybe I can, just, hang back in the car."
"Sure, baby, whatever you're comfortable with," you whispered, leaning in to peck his forehead. "You good?"
"I will be."
"Mhm," you hummed, caressing his cheek again before pushing your hand into his curls. "Now, let's get a move on - I want you to march in there, say you're sorry to your Chefs, and then we'll leave."
"Yes, ma'am," Carmy whispered, leaning in to kiss you - but you pulled back.
"Aht," you halted him with a teasing finger to his lips, "after we've got everything worked out, then you can kiss me."
"You got t'kiss me," he mumbled against your finger; making you hum as you fought off a stretching smile, and lower your hand.
"Fair point - just one then - "
He cut you off by, indeed, pressing a single kiss to your lips, but not pulling back. His hand raised to hold the back of your head, your lips spreading in a grin against his; finding rhythm to move together before pausing to press in prolonged passion.
When he pulled back, you both paused to smile, and when you tried to peck his lips again, he pulled back, teasing, "Aht, just the one."
"Oh, fuck you," you laughed lightly, letting him take your hand before leading you back into the kitchen. The other Chefs lingered, sparing you and Carmy a few nervous glances, making you whisper in his ear as you squeezed his hand, "Go ahead, baby, get it done."
He nodded and called the kitchen to attention, clearing his throat, and beginning to make his apologies. He singled out Marcus, then Sydney, Richie, and Sugar; the kitchen staff all accepting his words and insisting he could take the day off - even the next few days if he wanted! You had to usher him to grab his things a few times, nudging him in reminder and verbally pushing him back into action. That boy's ADHD would truly be the death of him.
"So?" Richie smirked at you as Marcus handed you a packaged box of pastries.
"We're talking it out."
He chuckled, "Good. Get him outta here, Peach, dude needs to breathe."
"I got it," you swatted him away as Carmy exited the office. "But we've got somewhere to be first, right?"
He paused, then nodded and asked in a mutter, "He said okay?"
"He's got time to decide what he wants to do, but he knows we're going. C'mon, get your coat."
Richie met you at the front of the restaurant and with a parting wink to Sugar, you took Carmy's hand, tangled your fingers together, and left to venture to your parked car. Carmy got in the front, Richie in the back, and after a stop at a corner bodega to grab three bouquets of flowers, you drove to the cemetery. Carmy was silent, no music played, and Richie's leg bounced in anxious tension; making small conversation with you about your job in an effort to distract himself.
When you arrived, you pulled up on the access road that you knew was closest to Mikey's grave. Richie spared a glare between you and Carmy before muttering that he needed a cigarette and got out of the car to leave you alone. "Baby?" You whispered, reaching for his hand. "Hey, look, if you don't want to go with us, it's okay. We won't be long... But maybe you want to sign this," you showed him the small, blank name card left in the flowers.
"Why?" He whispered.
You shrugged, "So he knows they're from you."
"Peach," he sighed, meeting your eyes.
"Baby, I know it's silly, I know it's easier to ignore it all. But I'd like to believe it's just a nice gesture for our own closure - it's a signed gift from us, to them... And maybe it's nice to pretend that wherever they are, they know what we've left for them."
Carmy nodded slowly, "I-I don't think... I don't think I can go..."
"It's okay, baby," you whispered.
"But," he sniffled, opening his hand to you, "I'll sign it, if you'll leave it for me?"
"Of course," you rushed, opening your purse to producing a pen for him. The clank card rest on the center console of your car, pausing, swallowing nervously, then scribbling his name as he cleared his throat. He offered you the pen, waited until it was put away, then offered the flowers. "Hang tight, we won't be too long," you whispered, leaning in to rest your forehead. "You okay?"
He nodded, pecking your forehead before letting you get out of the car. You handed Richie his own flowers with a signed card, holding your own and Carmy's; linking arms with Rich to venture up the small grass hill and moved about halfway down the cemetery plot line. When you came to his stone, you understood this was what Rich needed more than you, so, you knelt and laid the two bouquets down before starting to quickly groom the area around his tombstone.
You told him, "I'm sorry it's not much, but I'll be back later for a picnic and a chat. I brought you flowers from me a-and from Carmy. He's in the car, but he's here, Mikey... Give him time," you whispered, brushing dirt from the stone before standing. "Take your time," you told Richie softly, seeing the tears gather in his eyes.
"Thanks, Peach," he whispered, offering you a tight hug. When you pulled back and started to walk away, Richie lowered himself to kneel and lay his own flowers down; hearing him tell Mikey, "Don't gotta worry 'bout us, Mike-Man, Peach is the glue that keeps us together. Shit, she even got Carmy out here..."
You made it back to the car and got in, smiling at Carmy - but dropping it the instant you saw tears in his eyes. "Talk to me," you whispered, reaching for a wet wipe in your glovebox to clean your hands after plucking the grass and brushing off dirt from the grave.
"Why can't I get out?"
You only stared at him for a long moment, unsure what to say.
"I'm here... I'm finally here... Why can't I get out?"
"You're not ready," you nodded, tossing the wipe aside to a plastic bag. "It's okay, Carmy, it's okay to not be ready yet. We can come back when you are," you reached for his hand.
"I think this added to my frustration," he admitted. "I couldn't... I didn't go to the funeral, haven't been here since he was... You know."
"Laid to rest."
"Yeah," he sighed. "Fuck's wrong with me?"
"You're grieving," you relented, nuzzling closer so your head rested on his shoulder. "It's not linear, Carmy, baby, just let yourself feel. When you try to repress your emotions, you lash out inappropriately."
"I know," he whispered, "'M sorry."
"It's not your fault," you promised, the two of you quietly bowing your heads together. You remained as such until Richie got back in the car, and from there, it was quiet as everyone stewed in their own emotion. You dropped Rich back at work before promising to call him later and driving away; heading for Carmy's apartment in the soothing silence, his hand locked in yours.
When you arrived at his apartment, you froze upon seeing the interior's state. "Oh, Carmy, no," you whispered, frowning deeply.
"Looks worse than it is," he deflected. You only hummed and let him lead you to the bedroom; watching him strip and prepare for bed before joining you on the mattress. He crashed almost immediately, sighing in relief as he pecked over your shoulder and collarbone, muttering, "'M so glad you're back. 'M so sorry, Peach."
"I know you are, and I forgive you," you told him softly, carding a manicured hand through his hair. "Just get some rest, baby."
He was asleep nearly instantly. He deflated on top of you, deeply resting enough to not notice you slip out from under him. You cleaned his entire apartment; doing laundry, cleaning, scrubbing, replacing necessities he deemed himself too lazy to pay attention to. You did dishes, cleaned out his fridge, and as you mopped up the floors, the sun set and Carmy emerged from the bedroom.
"Baby?" He mumbled in earnest confusion, sighing in relief when he saw you.
"What? Afraid I disappeared on you?" You teased with a small grin.
"For sure," he mumbled, wiping sleep from his eyes; making your amusement dim when you realized the nerve it struck. "The hell you doin'?"
"You didn't seriously think I could rest knowing this monster of a clean-up job lingered out here, did you?"
"I don't want you t'clean after me."
"Well, too late," you smirked. "You good now?"
"I feel better, yeah."
"Good."
"And I made up my mind."
"Hmm? About what?"
"I'm gonna take some time off work," he nodded, "and focus on us. Get us in a new crib, it'll be nice."
"Think you can handle that?"
He nodded, "I'll have to, you're the most important thing in my life, I can't lose you. So, if I gotta take time off, that's the least of my worries. I'm only here for us, for you."
You smiled at him, setting the mop aside to wrap him in your arms. "I like the sound of that, us making a home together - being able to decorate a new home. But don't let me overdo it, okay? I get all excited and kinda bulldoze my way through projects. I don't want you t'find real reason t'resent me."
"Nah, that ain't possible," he promised quietly.
True to his word, Carmy took three solid weeks off; agreeing to a fourth week as a contact-only consultant. You and he slept in most days, looking at apartments, and not once did he even mention work. He was diligent in his attention, focused on you and you alone; putting in overtime to rebuild that what was broke by focusing on shared interests again. You found a place you loved ready for what was basically immediate move-in, taking time to pack your respected places and prepare for the official start of your cohabitating relationship.
You didn't forget what he said, being reserved in your displays of love. Yet Carmy was different; he was totally clingy the moment you returned to his life. He feared letting you go meant you'd disappear again, feared you'd run away again. He held your hand at every possible opportunity, got you a fresh bouquet of weekly flowers, ran all his errands with you; never went to bed without you, cooked all meals with you in the kitchen - perched up on a counter. Most showers you took together, and almost every night was spent cuddling on the couch or in bed with either a book being shared between you or a new show playing on the mounted flatscreen TV.
Carmy clung because he thought if he showed you acts of his love, it'd allow comfort towards your loving behavior to flourish again - and he was right. It took a little bit of time, but Carmy clung tighter and tighter; ensuring you started to reciprocate before ever easing up in the intensity of his affectionate displays. He didn't want to overwhelm you, but knew you needed the reassurance.
You were cautious, you were apprehensive; tiptoeing around Carmy even when living together before warming back up to him. You didn't need to repeat the words he hurled at you all those weeks ago, not wanting to dredge up repressed feelings, but never letting him forget what he said. Your actions spoke enough, skittish around his affection; something Carmy took note of and despised himself for. He made up for it, of course he did, it was Carmy and he hated tension and conflict in his closest circles of life. Yet it wasn't so easy for you two to move forward, they weren't just words to you.
They were direct insults to you as a person; to you and how you loved others. Carmy had seen your deepest fear and used it as a defense against you - wanting you to hurt the way he was, too. He understood this wasn't acceptable, knowing the next time he resorted to such despicable actions, you'd simply walk away; never dealing with disrespect, so, he needed to be acutely aware of his words.
You would never allow yourself to be someone else's doormat, but part of being an adult is understanding that people were allowed to make mistakes - it's part of being fucking human. How terrible you'd feel if someone held your own mistakes against you, because the truth was, you weren't perfect either.
Part of being in a(n adult) relationship is understanding when someone apologized, it was best to accept and move on because nothing was ever solved by dragging turmoil out. This didn't mean forget what happened, forget whatever emotion was evoked - but to do your part to repair what was broken; no matter who was at fault, it always took Two to Tango.
And in this song and dance, you were ready to sweep around the dance floor if only with Carmy. Because that's what a relationship was; a conscious effort by both partners to work as one, to dance in-sync; owning the art together, as equal partners.
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mv1simp · 1 month ago
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You Get Me So High ♥️
Max Verstappen x Strategist!Reader
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you get me so high, taking deep deep breaths (speeding up the heartbeat bangin out my chest)
As McLaren’s latest addition to the strategy team, you’ve worked hard to get to where you are, never being one to party too hard in college. But when you’re finally dragged to your first messy house party, you’re curious to get a taste of the drinks and party drugs you’d never tried before. Who better to corrupt your innocence than the F1 driver who hates you, Max Verstappen?
Content includes: 18+ MDNI, smut, dark!max, innocent! Reader, dubcon, explicit drug and illicit substances use, enemies to lovers, somno, 4.1k WC
Looking around the crowded house party, you took in the various Monaco elites and celebrities that laughed in the dim lighting. You hadn’t exactly known what to expect when one of your friends at the sports car company you’d started working for, McLaren, insisted that you finally needed to learn to party hard just as much as you worked. You supposed you had earned your Friday off, having joined the race strategy division 6 months ago and being responsible for numerous winning strategies this year - catching the attention of many annoyed competitions.
But your work in the F1 paddock was the furthest thing on your mind as you finally attended your first Monaco party. You took in the bottles of alcohol, the people passing joints and smoking a hookah by the pool. It wasn’t that you were naturally very naive or innocent. Or that you had some moral high ground that had stopped you from going out to college parties or having one night stands. It was more just that you’d been brought up to have a one track mind, to only focus on your academics and schoolwork only. And it had paid off and rewarded handsomely, with your rising fame as McLaren’s newest strategist at such a young age.
So you’d never quite learnt how to fit in the party scene and shyly stood at your friend’s side as she chatted away to someone else. Even though you’re feeling out of place, you certainly don’t look the part in a tight minidress, long flowy mesh sleeves and white lace giving an almost angelic contrast to the revealing sweetheart neckline. You’d noticed a few eyes wandering over you appreciatively, again making you feel nervous excitement at the chance of having a first hook up tonight. You had years of missed out college experiences to catch up on, and there was no better place than a messy house party filled with endless supply of drinks, illicit substances and attractive guys.
You’re lost in the planning of where exactly you should start when your eyes meet an intense pair of blue eyes that narrow at you. You gasp as you see Max Verstappen across the crowded room, cold expression on his handsome face even in the heat of the summer’s night. It was no secret that the current world champion was not a fan of McLaren this season as they proved to be the biggest contestant to his 4th win. And he especially was not a fan of you, whose strategy had consistently landed Oscar and Lando on the podium…and cost Max the P1.
Of course, you’d found his entitlement and arrogance extremely rude when he brushed you off anytime you’d been introduced. You were simply just doing a good job and leading your team to a constructor’s cup win - couldn’t he respect that as someone who was ambitious himself? But it didn’t matter how many times the two of you had run into each other on the paddock or when you’d accompanied the McLaren drivers to Monaco events. Max Verstappen only reserved his warm laugh and gentle eyes for Lando and Oscar, acting as if you were an invisible object he couldn’t care less for. It’d hurt your feelings to always be sidelined while he cutely smiled at others but glowered at you, because you’d developed a crush the first time you saw Max. The Dutch Lion’s tall, strong build that towered above you, his intense features and even intenser passion for his sport were all things you’d become enamoured with. But admiration turned to disdain for the driver that had now pointedly turned away from you, clearly offended that someone like you was at the same party as him.
Scoffing, you rolled your eyes at his cockiness. Just because he was a F1 athlete didn’t mean he was any better than anyone else here! Plucking a bottle of wine from a chilled bin, you took annoyed swigs and vowed to not let Max get in the way of enjoying the night.
But a few hours later, when people have dispersed off into little groups scattered throughout the large house, you run into Max. You were wandering around looking for your friend, slightly swaying on your heels, a bit tipsy but still coherent, enjoying the loud catchy music. Hearing a noise from a closed bedroom door along the hallway, you open it without a second thought.
Oh- you say, startled at the scene of a few people dotted along a couple couches in a small room, engaging in low conversation as hazy smoke fills the air. You apologize, thinking you’re interrupting, but a couple of guys have stood up in interest and invite you to come in. You blush, still in the doorway, enjoying the rush at seeing them check you out - but are snapped out of it when a deep voice grumbles for you to get inside or go away, you’re letting all the weed out.
The irritation in the Dutch voice is unmistakable as Max Verstappen tilts his head to the side, meeting your eyes, and you realize with a jolt the broad back you’d seen on one of the sofas belonged to the F1 driver who disliked you the most. You hastily close the door behind you, walking in, the drinks you’d taken having given you the courage to confront the arrogant man instead of letting him be rude to you for once.
He meets your gaze easily, pretty blue eyes shining through even in the dark room that’s only illuminated by a few lamps. In the background you hear music playing over the speaker and one of the guys who’d invited you in offering you a hit. But your attention somehow remains on Max, as he replies for you and says Nah mate, she doesn’t do that stuff. Too much of a good girl to get high.
An indignant expression crossed your pretty face, and you purse your glossed lips at him before you sit down next to him and grab the offered joint. Wanna bet, Verstappen? His friends oohhh at your bratty tone, enjoying the reaction you’re winding up in Max. He narrows his eyes at you, clearly thinking you were bluffing. Go on then, sweetheart he says with a mocking smirk. Here, I’ll even light you up.
Taking a deep breath, you place the unfamiliar joint in between your thick lips, and then Max is suddenly in your space. He leans in close, searching eyes never leaving your wide brown ones as he brings the lighter upto your joint. The small flame illuminates the dim space and for a second it’s like you’re the only two people in the room.
And then you inhale a puff of weed-tinted air and cough at the horrible taste, finding it burns your throat. Max smirks knowingly at your inexperienced technique as his two friends laugh in amusement, telling Max he was so right, you had no idea what you were doing.
You flush in embarrassment, hating how they thought of you as some stupid naive girl. You wanted to prove you were such as capable of enjoying guilty pleasures as them. Determined, you ask Max to show you how then, if he was such a pro at getting stoned himself?
Another glimmer of interest sparks in Max’s eyes at your challenge. You breathe an internal sigh of relief, half convinced that he was just going to kick you out. Instead he murmurs sure, Princess, making you bristle at the condescending nickname. But you obediently let him guide you through another hit, making him chuckle as you cutely try to suppress your cough on the second attempt. To your surprise he patiently talks you through it again, bringing you closer to tuck you against his warm chest so he can demonstrate for you. He looks so good, you think looking up at him a little dazedly, as he easily inhales from the joint, not wasting a single wisp of smoke. The dim light highlights his angular face and attractive lips as he exhales slowly, forming a ring of O smoke with his talented tongue. You gasp in delight, voicing that was so cool, how did he do that?
He chuckles as your enthusiasm, handed it back to you to practise some more. You’re taking more hits, better each time, and his friends wander off now as they grow bored of seeing their mate reel in another pretty girl they’d wanted to ruin themselves. You’re not sure how much time has passed but at some point you realize there’s only a couple others left in the room, off in the corner themselves and giving you and Max your own private bubble. The Dutch champion is watching you intently, looking focused despite the hits he’d smoked and beer he was slowly drinking. Are you feeling anything yet, sweetheart? He murmurs huskily into your ears, sending shivers straight to your pussy. You cutely shake your head no, oblivious to how many hits you’d actually taken.
How are you so good at this, you whine, tongue loosened after the weed, saying it’s so unfair, why are you so good at everything? Rich and a F1 driver and super hot? Max laughs then, and you think you feel your heart race at the sound you’d grown to be secretly obsessed with when you heard it on the paddock. He knew a way to make sure you were getting the weed fully in your system, to make sure you were actually inhaling it, he offers, a devious smirk on his face.
You excitedly jump forward, practically in his lap as you ask how? Show me, please Max! You don’t even notice when he wraps a thick arm around your small waist, bringing your plush ass fully onto thick thighs. Instead you’re fixated on the hit he takes, holding it in - and then he gently tilts your head up, rubbing a large thumb across your pink lips. You gasp at his touch and then he’s exhaling the puff through your lips, sealing it inside your mouth with a chaste kiss.
The fact that you saw nothing scandalous about his actions should have been your first sign that you were well and truly high out of your mind. Instead, you look up at him adoringly when he breaks the soft kiss, telling him that felt so good, Maxie. You definitely got so much more of the weed that time, co-could you please do it again?
The blonde driver smirks, licking his lips like one of his Bengal cats when he has his prey right where he wants it. He doesn’t have to be asked twice, his gaze taking in your heaving, plush tits and the swell of your juicy, caramel ass where your minidress has ridden up. Soon he’s exhaling puff after puff into your willing mouth, sliding his greedy tongue in after each one, every hit resulting in a deeper and sloppier kiss. You’re getting so into it, too, mind addled from the ridiculous amount of weed you’d done. It was making your panties all wet and sticky, you whined, completely disinhibited, as you started desperately grinding on Max’s muscular thighs.
He cooed at you to let him help then, baby, he knew just how to make you feel good. You nod frantically, wanting him to bring you some relief. He was sooo nice to take care of you like this! It’s hard to keep track of what’s going on through your hazy mind and smoke in the air, but you feel something hard and big rubbing against your soaked panties through Max’s jeans. His large hands have slid your dress up around your hips, palming your ass and controlling the pace as he drags your sensitive, swollen clit across his impressive erection. You toss your head back, high on the weed and pleasure Max is giving you, sweat gliding down your neck and dripping down your neckline. You cum like that, riding your orgasm out on his bulging thigh and collapse tiredly against him. You’re content to fall asleep, in his secure embrace that stabilises your body which feels it could collapse any second. But then you hear it - wet, sinful sounds and muffled moans rising up through the rhythmic music in the background.
You lift your head off Max’s broad shoulder, curiosity piqued, and he smiles at your interest. He turns your head as he guides you to look at the freaky couple in the other corner, where a guy has a girl on her knees as he practically fucks her face into the wall behind her. Your jaw drops in astonishment. Looks fun, doesn’t it baby? Max whispers teasingly in your ear. You swallow, panting and nod yes, yes it does, you’d never done that before…
He doesn’t hesitate to whisper a dirty offer by your ears. I’ll have teach you how, then. His ice blue eyes don’t miss the blush on your face as you lower your gaze, suddenly feeling embarrassed as your orgasm high starts to fade. He knows just how to make sure you come crawling back to him again. Or can the sweet McLaren strategist not handle him, hmm? One time was enough to make you tap out?
Predictably, you blush again but with anger, stumbling as you try to climb off him and furiously saying that you could easily keep up with him, you’ll happily prove it again at the next party! Chuckling at your cute indignation, he follows you out, catching your stumbling figure to help guide you into a taxi. There’s no way he’s letting anyone else take advantage of the sweet little treasure he’s discovered tonight. He slides into the backseat with you and drops you home, leaving you wanting more when he gently rubs soothing circles on your bare thighs but you’re prideful to ask for more out of the hazy, seductive room. Yet, you don’t stop thinking about the addictive feeling for days after, almost hoping he’d gotten out of the car with you and come upstairs instead of leaving.
So the next time your friends are heading out to town, mentioning that a bunch of the drivers are going to be there, you can’t wait to go. You make sure you’re dressed in another revealing outfit, makeup done to perfection, looking the very picture of sin as you walk onto the booming dancefloor in strappy heels. Max takes one look at you across the room and is instantly by your side, pulling you into him and well away from the interested stares of other men. He was going to be the only one to lay a hand on you tonight, after all.
He has you coming to the VIP lounge with him, telling you that it was time to up the stakes if you really wanted to prove you weren’t a boring homebody. You confidently accept this challenge, having gotten high with smoking a couple more joints recently, ready to prove Max wrong with your much improved technique. You had no idea that your rival has something very different in mind.
Pulling you down with a squeal onto his lap again, he plies you with a couple of drinks, just enough to make you relaxed and a bit tipsy. You give into the kisses he starts giving you, turning into a deep make out within seconds. You’re glad that you’re in a private booth around the corner, out of sight from the rest of the clubgoers. But still, if anyone came over to greet Max, it would be bad-
You suddenly feel Max’s skillful tongue slip an unfamiliar tablet into your mouth, giving you no choice but to swallow it as he forces himself deep down your throat to sloppily make out. When he finally releases you, you shove his chest angrily, telling him off for being such a sneaky asshole, but don’t move from the comfortable position you’re in, sitting across his lap.
After you demand to know what he’d given you, he shrugs casually, telling you to relax, it was just some molly. At your blank expression, he laughs and says Sorry, maybe someone as nerdy as you knows it as ecstasy? MD?
Your eyes widen as the realisation of just what he’d given you hits. You’re so nervous, never having done anything like that before, but it’s too late because it’s well on its way through your system now. Sensing your anxiety, Max soothes you, coaxing you to relax back against him, whispering that he’ll take really good care of you, the whole trip, I promise, okay baby?
His two faced promises work their magic and you let him glide his tongue into your soft mouth again, exploring it to his liking. Distracted, you barely notice the molly slowly starting to spread like wildfire through you - until it’s peaking, and you feel like you’re burning.
And soon enough you’re humping his lap with pupils the size of the moon, begging him have his way with you in the dark lounge. Whatever you want, baby he cooes at you with a smirk, pleased that you’d reacted to his little pill just as he’d predicted. Nothing beat getting high with you, the pretty, good girl who’d been fucking his wins over for the last 6 months. Now that he has you, he wasn’t going to stop till he ruins you completely.
He unties your slutty top easily, pulling at the string tying it up around your neck, letting it fall off your shoulders so he can get a delicious view of your bare bouncing tits. Fuck yes, all for me, pretty girl? he groans, letting his wicked tongue flick against your cute tanned nipples that had rapidly hardened in the air. You squeal in pleasure, burying your hands in his soft hair as he alternates between your juicy breasts, kissing and licking and biting on the tempting flesh right in front of him.
You swear you’d only closed your eyes for a second but somehow the next time you open them he has your miniskirt off too, and you’re left only in your delicate lace panties. You’re easily lifted and placed onto your back, sinking into the plush sofa as his now shirtless form climbs on top of you, thick arms caging in on either side of your head. You grind against him wantonly, the desire to feel him against you, inside you so much more intense than when you’d been on the weed. But you can barely verbalize your desire, feeling so blissed out all you do is open your drooling mouth and whine his name.
Shhh, I know baby, I know his deep voice rumbles, reassuring you. You’re not sure how exactly things progressed after that. You’re not sure how he went from grinding against you to his thick fingers slipping inside your pussy lips, scissoring you skilfully. You moan his name even louder, begging him for more, more!! and then he’s eating your hypersensitive cunny out. The slurping and dirty kisses he’s leaving down there has your head spinning even more than the molly does and you’re passing in and out of consciousness as you cum repeatedly on his fingers and tongue. The next time you blink your eyes open, you’re being carried out of the club in Max’s arms, redressed in your cute outfit, your heels in his hands.
You don’t remember much of what happened next. Something thick and hard is moving inside your mouth, pressing against the very back, wakes you out of your dazed sleep. You blink your eyes open, your mind trying to process just where you are. It takes a few minutes for you to orient yourself - and then you realize that you’re lying on your back, your whole body sinking into a plush mattress beneath you. Except for your neck, which dangles off the edge of the bed - at the perfect height for Max’s wide cock to slide in and out of your wet mouth, using your passed out body for his pleasure. Your muffled moans as you awake are drowned out by filthy, wet sounds when he noticed your eyes are open and speeds up his pace. His hands play with your large tits and squeeze your nipples meanly, before sliding down your soft tummy and then inside your pussy to finger you some more. He doesn’t stop thrusting roughly inside your already sore throat, bruising the back of it. You cum on his fingers, pussy fluttering and twitching on his digits, and he groans before tensing, emptying his thick load deep inside your mouth. His cum and spit dribble out to your pink lips when he pulls out. He grins wickedly at the sight of the once innocent strategist now looking like the top performer on OnlyFans. Except he’d kill anyone who tried to lay a hand on you now - he’s invested for too much to let anyone take the pretty girl that belongs to him.
And you’re such as eager for it as he is. Flashes of drug addled dreams come to you nightly, and you know you should be worried about the blanks in your memory, about the bruises his strong fingers had left behind but you can’t remember when. But instead you follow him around like a lost puppy, wanting his attention on you again. Your contract didn’t say anything about fucking the enemy, after all.
So the next time he has you lying on your back on his hotel floor, aftermaths of a celebration party littering it. But he’s kicked everyone out so that he can pull out a little baggie of white powder. Your eyes go wide with curiosity as you eagerly ask to try it, but he condescendingly tells you no, baby, this would be too much for a sweet girl like you. You puff up your cheeks cutely, but obediently follow his orders and reveal your top half for him, keeping your miniskirt on. He teasingly pours a straight line of white powder, right in between your plush caramel tits. Kissing up from your sensitive belly button, he keeps his eyes on yours as he snorts the line easily, picking up a tiny dab at the end on his finger and then rubbing it along your gums. You don’t even get a chance to react because his tongue is swirling around your brown nippled, making you arch into his talented mouth as he sucks and bites your sensitive areolas.
If the weed and molly had made you horny, the smidge of coke in your system has you transformed into a desperate slut, dripping and ready to be fucked. Max has you spreading yourself wide open for him, your pink wet pussy exposed for his pleasure without a hint of shyness in your cocaine addled brain. You’re dumbly begging him to fuck you down there, your virginity was all for him to take.
He doesn’t need to be asked twice. The world would go crazy if they knew this was how their beloved Redbull driver liked his girls - completely ruined, high out of their minds, and begging for him. But he knows that you wanted this just as much as he did. He sinks his rock hard shaft into your sweet folds, moaning as you eagerly take him all the way to the base. The coke has done wonders to relax your normally upright self, and he sets a mean pace right from the start, sickly enjoying the tears streaming down your face from the pleasure and bouncing of your tits which each powerful thrust.
You two fuck like bunnies, lost in the sinful pleasure of the highs from the white powder and orgasms mixing together. The cocaine in your system makes your stamina endless, ready for round after round. And considering Max’s already impressive energy levels given his status as a F1 driver, well….let’s just say that by the time he’s fully satisfied you’d passed out long ago, drooling into the sheets. Getting high always made his cum so much more, too, and your abused cunny takes several loads of his hot sticky seed inside its gummy walls, twitching around his length.
When Max finally pulls out, making your shared juices leak out of your overstuffed hole, he can’t resist taking a photo to tease you with later. He’s going to use it to bully you into taking the aphrodisiac he plans on slipping you at the next race weekend, after all. He leans down to deviously whisper in your ear, your sleeping figure oblivious to his mean words. Let’s see how well you strategise when all you’re thinking about is getting fucked by me, princess.
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A/N: ok realistically this obvi cannot happen for countless reasons INCLUDING the fact that max was like “yeah the FIA randomly banged on my motorhome at 7am and made me do a drug pee test 🙄” but a girl can dream right??
624 notes · View notes
c-nstellati-ns · 2 years ago
Note
Are you still accepting requests? If so how about making a mess of Cassidy? That man is incredibly cocky but as soon as he's under you he's a whining mess
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YOUR BODY’S BANGIN’, OUT OF CONTROL! — short
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author’s note — little filler post b4 i finish schtuff
word count — 424
featuring — cole cassidy
cw — NSFW CONTENT, dom!gn!reader, sub!cole, less of cocky cassidy and more of him being pampered bc i love him, this barely counts a fic sorry it looked longer on my doc
all works belong to c-nstellati-ns ⓒ 2023. do not steal or repost. ask before translating.
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MDNI. 18+ CONTENT BELOW, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
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“C’mon, pretty boy… why so quiet?” You coo, a teasing tone to your voice.
Cole lets out a choked noise, fisting desperately at the sheets as you peppered more kisses against his soft stomach. Each time, you purposely avoided the place he needed you the most. His marked thighs twitch around your head with each touch to his heated skin.
“J-just get on wit’ it, won’t ya? ‘m gonna explode…” He says with a shaky sigh, lightly grasping at your thick locs in an attempt to ground himself.
With each intimate moment you’ve spent with Cassidy, you’ve noticed that his accent gets so much thicker. It was cute, you thought. You had half the mind to try and tease him about it, but you’ve already denied him for so long. The poor man looked like he was coming undone at the seams. His pretty lashes stuck with tears, his amber eyes hazy but locked onto yours. His lips were bitten and red, just how you like it.
After a moment of gazing over him, you chuckled and pressed another kiss to his abdomen after nipping the tanned skin. He groans and gently tugs at your hair, “P-please…” His voice is airy, soft. It’s a stark difference compared to how deep his voice usually was.
“Mm… you’re lucky I’m a sucker for you, sweet thing.” You mutter hungrily, leaning in to lock lips with him in a sloppy kiss. You can feel him wrap his arms and legs around you tightly, keeping you locked in.
Cass pulls back briefly, his lips ghosting against yours. “We only have so much time… need you, baby— please… please.” He sounded so desperate, who were you to deny him? You kissed his cheek, his beard briefly brushing against your own.
“Gonna take real good care of you, gorgeous.” You wrapped a hand around his leaking cock, making him gasp. You rub a hand over his slit, stroking him steadily. The little pleased noises that slipped from his lips were delicious. “Don’t you worry.”
You ran a hand through his soft hair, his hat having been discarded a long time ago when you knocked it over in a heated frenzy. He looked prettier like this anyways. You couldn’t wait to ravage him completely and leave him all breathless by the end of this. You tugged his head back, pulling away to bite at his neck, hearing his sweet moans as you kiss his Adam’s apple. “I got ya, love.”
Let’s just say Cole had a mighty good evening that night.
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2K notes · View notes
tightjeansjavi · 11 months ago
Text
The Menu | Part 4
“splinters in his knuckles bangin’ on your door”
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A/N: remember that meme I posted earlier about how this was supposed to just be a silly little smut fic? Yeahhh about that..🥴
~word count: 6.3k~
Pairing | dark!joel miller x f!reader
Summary: Joel goes a little berserk after he doesn’t see you for almost an entire day.
Warnings: SA (not by Joel, not described in detail) implied prostitution, abuse of power/abuse by law enforcement, (FEDRA) unhealthy trauma response, degrading language, mentions of guns, threats, injures from punching a door, mentions of blood, removing splinters, dark!joel, mean!joel, protective!joel, is shit at communicating his feelings!joel, asshole!joel, FEDRA SUCKS, no smut, denial of feelings, stalking, possession, morally gray relationship to the reader, (they’re kinda toxic but it’s complicated) hurt feelings, angst, some fluff, age gap, (Joel is in his 40’s reader is in her late 20’s) reader has no physical descriptions, +18 minors dni!
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Joel Miller cracked under the pressure when almost an entire day went by without a lick of your presence. Cracking under the pressure was..a severe misjudgment. All rationale was thrown out the door; he had gone completely balls to the wall insane.
It started in the morning when you didn’t show up to your ‘job’ where you and Joel would spend grueling hours dumping deceased infected. Of course, everyone around him could give less of a shit about your absence. And why should they care? It was a dog eat dog world in the QZ. Every man for himself. To Joel? This was a real problem. A thorn in his side because, well, frankly? You might have meant more to him than just a vice to fill a void. Or a warm body to stick his dick in. Maybe he had reluctantly grown to care for you in his own Joel way.
So, when he found himself in line for his ration cards, his eyes zoned in on the FEDRA officer you fucked out of spite. The same one who did business at Joel’s table while Joel’s fingers fucked you to ruin. He had to start somewhere, right?
“Y’got a minute?” Joel asked casually as he shoved his ration cards into the pocket of his jeans.
“Shoot.” Benjamin, better known as Benji, what the fuck kinda name is that.
“Y’seen Angel around this mornin?’ She’s usually out here with me. Didn’t show up.”
“Nope.” Benji responded smoothly.
Joel’s brow raised as he studied the other man’s face intently. He was looking for any clues, any indication that maybe this Benji fellow had something to do with your bizarre absence.
“Right. Well, if ya see her, tell ‘er Joel’s lookin’ for her.” He shoved his hands deep into his jean pockets.
If Benji was good for anything, it was ratting QZ folks out. So, maybe he did know where you were. He had no viable reason to tell Joel shit. In fact, he was the main reason for your absence. Not only did he catch you out past curfew, but with a handful of contraband that could have easily gotten you a week in lockup. He showed you just a smidge of mercy simply for the fact that you offered him a blowjob just to keep your ass off the line, and only in lockup for one single day.
Joel had no business knowing that, of course.
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“Well, well, well. Whad’we have here?” Benji stepped out from the shadows of the darkly lit alleyway as a FEDRA patrol vehicle drove by.
“One hour past curfew, Angel. That’s a deduction of cards, and a night in lockup.” He tsked.
Your face scrunched inwards, as if you had tasted something pungent and sour. “Benji? Fuck. C’mon, man. Just let me pass on through. It’ll be like I was never here.” You thought you were being fairly reasonable especially since he did a lot of business with Joel. You thought that maybe you could get yourself off the hook easily.
“Can’t do that, Angel.” He sighed.
“My name is not Angel. And yes, you can. Just pretend that you never saw me.”
“Oh.” He chuckled, shaking his head as he reached for his concealed handgun. “So, I guess buddy boy can call you Angel, but I can’t?”
For fuck sakes.
“Christ, is that what this is about? Who has the bigger dick? What, are you jealous or somethin?’” You egged him on as you reached for your own concealed gun before an unpleasant chill ran down your spine from the familiar clicking sound of the revolver.
“Jealous? Now, why would I be jealous, Angel? Ain’t you just a common street whore? You’ll let anyone stick their dick in ya if they pay well. Ah, but you got that Joel Miller wrapped around your pretty little finger. Everyone ‘round here knows he’s your guard dog. Where is he now, hm?” He cocked his head to the side.
“Look, Benji, you’re a good lookin’ guy and all that, but I fucked you out of spite. I’ll stroke your ego or whatever, but can I please just fuckin’ go home now?” You were exhausted from the grueling day. Your feet ached, your whole body felt like a bunch of pins and needles were stabbing it all at once. All you wanted was to go home, pour yourself a stiff glass, and have a smoke. Was it really too much to ask?
“Turn around. Hands against the wall. No sudden movements.” He ignored every word that left your mouth as if it meant nothing as if you truly were just a whore. For the first time in a long time, you felt dirty. Like something that was disposable. A toy that was no longer shiny and new, but dull and tattered. It made your blood boil.
“Benji—is that really necessary?” You tried to reason with him, but your attempts were fruitless.
“I said turn the fuck around and put your hands against the goddamn wall. Don’t make me ask you a third time, Angel. I ain’t have all night.” His jaw ticked impatiently.
“Okay. Okay. You don’t have to ask me again.” You reluctantly turned around with your hands above your head before placing your palms flat against the brick wall. You bit down on the inside of your cheek, slicing the skin open from the pressure as you tasted copper along your tongue when he yanked you back by the hips as if he owned them.
“That’s right. Because that Joel Miller sure turned you into an obedient little cockslut, didn’t he?” Benji chuckled deeply against the shell of your ear. His hot breath on your skin sent a wave of nausea crawling up your throat.
“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talkin’ about, Benji.” You hissed through your gritted teeth as he began to forcefully pat you down. You thought about trying to escape, but decided that would have been fucking reckless to even try.
“Oh, now what do we have here?” He said rather gleefully as he pulled out a baggy of pills. The same baggy of pills that Joel gave to you the night before to deliver to a client.
“Those aren’t mine.” Well, that was dumb.
“No? Hmm. You’re not good at this whole lyin’ game, Angel. Let’s see what else we got here.” He pulled out your gun from the belt loop of your jeans along with tinfoil wrapped cigarettes; fresh ones that Joel had rolled you.
“Well, my dear, you’re lookin’ at about a week in lockup just from this alone. Unless..” he trailed off knowing exactly what you’d offer him in return.
“You’re sick, y’know that?” You scoffed under your breath. Men really did only ever think with their dicks.
“Jus’ doin’ my job, Angel. So, what’re you gonna offer me, hmm? Make it good and I’ll only throw you in there for a day. Sounds fair?”
“Right. Your job at bein’ a fuckin’ rat? I’ll give you a blowie, right here, right now. I think that seems pretty fair, don’t you?” The sooner this is over, the sooner I get to go home.
“Hm.” He pondered it for a moment, as if he really had to think hard on your offer. “Deal. But I want you to act enthusiastic this time, and take your tits out. I’m gonna paint them and your face in my come, and you’re gonna sit there and fuckin’ take it, and if you don’t?” He flipped you around swiftly, caging you against the wall as he brought the barrel of the gun right against your temple, “I’ll spray your brains out right against this fuckin’ wall.”
This wasn’t the first time you had been threatened by a man in the QZ, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last, but the all too real gun being pressed against your forehead was alarming, and your brain went into compliance mode in an instant. Truthfully, you didn’t want to die, and certainly not in a manner such as this.
All you could think about as you slowly sank down to your knees, and as the pavement nipped at your exposed skin, was that Joel would never do something like this to you.
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“Sure, you’ll be the first to know if I’ve seen her, Miller.” He nodded.
Something about Benji, and his stupid face, sent Joel’s hackles rising. But before he could even mutter a reply, Benji was walking away towards the other FEDRA officers.
Joel shook his head while he flipped through his ration cards for the day. He was doing his best to block out all the possible scenarios of your disappearance, but he failed miserably when he realized there was a high possibility that you were either dead, or infected. It happened more often than people would think.
The real start of his manhunt began after he confided in Tess in the utmost Joel fashion. He found himself pacing the length of his apartment while all she could do was watch from the entryway in the kitchen. Her arms were crossed over her chest as she leaned back against the countertop. Her eyes trailed after his frantic movements.
“Look, before you go thinkin’ about doin’ somethin’ reckless, did you ever stop to think that maybe she’s just in her apartment? She could have slept in—”
He cut her off sharply with a quick shake of his head. “Sleepin’ in? Really, is that all Y’got for me, Tess? I knew she should have just fuckin’ spent the night. She’s so goddamn stubborn. I would have even slept on the couch and she could have taken the bed if it was such a big deal. She’s so hot’n cold!” He growled frustratingly. His hands moved upwards towards his head as his fingers tangled through his hair, yanking at the roots till he was feeling a splice of pain. “Or, better yet, I should have just walked her home myself!”
“Texas, you’re actin’ fuckin’ insane right now! Pacin’ the goddamn apartment like a dog. Ripping your hair out?!” Just calm the fuck down for a second. Take some deep breaths, have a smoke or somethin’ and then let’s both think rationally.” She tried to reason with him. All this got her in return was a narrowed glare, a scoff and an eye roll.
“She could be fuckin’ dead, Tess! What if somethin’ happened between her leavin’ here last night and walkin’ back to her place?”
“I highly doubt she’s dead. And if she was, we would have heard about it by now, Joel. Do you want me to help you look for her? Cause I can start askin’ around.” She pushed herself off the side of the counter just as his pacing came to a complete standstill.
“Sure, yeah. Go ahead and ask around. But, before you do that, I need ya to tell me where Angel lives. I’m aware that you know, and that she doesn’t want me to know, but you’re gonna tell me either way.” He stated as a matter of factly.
“Joel, she doesn’t want you knowing where she lives for obvious reasons. How about you stay here, and I’ll go to her apartment. Like I said, I’m sure she’s just fine.”
“Yeah? Well, those reasons are irrelevant as of right now. So, quit your little girl code you got goin’ on with her or whatever, and tell me where the fuck her apartment is.”
Tess didn’t even bother to argue. She knew Joel long enough to know that he wasn’t going to stop until he found that you were safe. Otherwise, the unknown and the ‘what ifs’ would eat him alive, literally.
“You’re fuckin’ relentless, Texas. Y’know that?” She pulled out her own personal map of the QZ before laying it out on the worn down kitchen table. She pointed to your exact apartment building. “She’s on the third floor at the very end of the hall.”
“Yep. You damn right I am, Tess. You know me too well.” He merely glanced down at the spot on the map where Tess was pointing at before he snatched up the parchment, folding it neatly and tucked it into his back pocket.
“I’ll be needing that back, Texas.” Tess reminded him.
“And I’ll be bringin’ it right back as soon as I find her.” Joel responded smoothly, dripping in confidence to mask his true nature. Just like those women he used to sleep with, he could put up a facade with just a snap of his fingers.
“Yeah, well, you’re losin’ daylight. Better go find that Angel of yours.”
“Better me than anyone else.” Joel added with a curt nod. He left the apartment in a rush, skipping a few steps down the stairs. He never handled change of any kind all that well. Especially when you had become a constant in his life while living in this shit hole place. If something had happened to you, Joel would force himself to take all the blame. He felt responsible for you in some capacity.
“Swear to god when I find this girl..” he muttered to himself, shaking his head while slipping past the front door of the apartment building. Evening was steadfast on the horizon; he needed to move fast.
Was it something I said last night?
Was it because I asked her to stay?
Was it the goddamn strap on??
Is she avoiding me on purpose?
Is she dead?
Did she fuckin’ get infected?
Did..she find someone else?
These thoughts and more were swirling through his frantic brain. He fucking hated the fear of the unknown. Absolutely despised the whole entire notion of its existence. He’d much prefer when things were yanked off like a bandaid. Quick and mostly painless.
He triple checked Tess’s map the entire trek to your apartment building. He had no time to fuck this up, and to the passerby he probably looked like a crazed man; which would be an accurate statement given the circumstances.
Your apartment building was nearly an exact replica of his own. Same shitty staircase, peeling wallpaper, the occasional cry of an infant, or scream of a child. Just the day-to-day sounds of the QZ that we’re all white noise to Joel.
When he found himself standing outside your door, he scoffed at the faded “Welcome :)” mat outside of your door beneath his boots. The smiley face had nearly rubbed off entirely, and he wondered if the mat had been there by your doing, or the previous inhabitants.
Focus, Joel.
He pressed the side of his head against the outside of the door, falling silent as he listened with his good ear for any movements on the other side.
Nothing.
“Angel? Y’in there, doll?” He asked through the thin wood.
Silence.
“Look, I’m sorry if I said somethin’ to upset you last night, but I haven’t seen you all fuckin’ day, and I’m real worried that somethin’ bad happened to ya. So, if you’re in there, can you please say something?”
Nothing.
“Okay. Okay, so maybe I do deserve the silent treatment after I made you hold my cock in your mouth like a cum bucket whore, but it was uh—out of affection? And if you’re upset that I asked ya to stay the night, then I’m sorry. It was just late and I wanted to—”
This is fucking stupid.
“Can you fuckin’ answer me, please? Just fuckin’ say something!” He growled, throwing his fists against the door once for good measure. “I’m about five seconds away from lookin’ like a complete and utter psychopath if you don’t open this goddamn door!” His frustration was on the cusp of boiling over, like a kettle on the stove.
“Okay, so we’re gonna play the silent game, huh?! I swear to god, Angel. If you’re behind this goddamn door and you’re ignoring me on purpose?! Good god, girl. You got another thing comin’ for ya!” He laughed, one of those unfriendly, chills down the spine, oh shit! I’m fucked kinda laughs.
Joel Miller had completely lost all remaining shreds of rationale.
“I’m gonna give you to the count of five to open this fuckin’ door, y’hear me?!” He snarled threateningly.
“Five.”
“Four.”
“Three.”
He didn’t even get to two before his fists absolutely began to rain down on your doorframe. The cord had snapped and he was fully spiraling without giving a damn of who could see or hear him.
With adrenaline, rage, and fear pumping through his veins, he couldn’t even feel the skin along his knuckles being absolutely torn to shreds from how hard he was laying his fists into the wood.
It's like he had completely blacked out and all he could see was red. Red. Red. Red. Red.
Benji was ‘generous’ enough to let you out of being in lockup early and sent you right back out onto the streets. Ridden with exhaustion, you practically dragged yourself back to your apartment with only the thought of a stiff drink and your bed bringing you some form of motivation to keep going.
Your keys jingled in your grasp while you trudged up the stairs. You were oh so close to just plopping down in the hallway, but your apartment was only just down the hall. You could make it.
You passed by one of your neighbors on your way. And when you went to wave, they completely avoided making eye contact with you at all costs. Somehow you just knew that Joel was involved in this behavior, but how the hell did he know where you lived?
Then, you heard the sounds of banshee yelling intensifying the closer you drew to your door.
Jesus fucking Christ. Can’t a girl catch a break?
When you turned the corner, you were met with a grizzly bear of a man. Joel Miller had nearly beaten your door in with just his bare fists. You weren’t even all that shocked to see him outside of your apartment, but, nonetheless, you were pissed.
You leaned against the corner of the hallway, arms crossed against your chest and a displeased, yet mildly amused look plastered on your face.
“Joel?”
He whipped around in an instant at the familiar sound of your voice. His eyes were wide, nostrils flared, blood dripping down between the ridges of his knuckles, staining the already faded carpet crimson beneath his boots.
He looked crazy.
“Where in the fuck have you been? Do you know how fuckin’ worried I’ve been all goddamn day?! Huh, sweet girl? Do you have any idea—”
“You’re bleeding, sweet boy.” You mumble softly. You had hoped that you could advert his attention, but he was already stalking towards you, something indescribable flashes in his eyes when you call him, ‘sweet boy.’
“Yeah, baby.” He huffs out a raspy laugh. “I’ve got splinters in my knuckles bangin’ on your door. Tore ‘em all up.”
He’s so close now that you can taste his breath and see that flicker of fear in his eyes. His hands encaged around your face. Soft, wet from the blood, but gentle.
Droplets of blood trail down your neck and down the clavicle between your covered breasts. You shouldn’t be turned on—but that cunt of yours has a mind of her own, sometimes.
“Joel, you didn’t have to show up here like a crazy man and nearly go and break down my door.”
He glares, bloodstained thumb swiping across your lower lip. “Don’t tell me what I did and didn’t have to do, Angel. Haven’t seen you all day. Thought you were fuckin’ dead or somethin.’”
“Yeah, well, I’m not dead. I’m right here. Why the hell did you even care in the first place, huh? Can’t even go one day without losing your cool?” It’s your turn to challenge him now. You place your palms flat on his chest, giving him a firm shove.
He glared, eyes narrowing into slits. His head cocked to the side in a condescending manner. His jaw clenched and unclenched. He dropped his hands from your face only to then encage your wrists above your head. He used his sheer mass to press your back directly against the hallway wall. He loomed over you to appear more menacing, like a predator going in for the kill. “Who said anythin’ about me caring, huh? Is that why you think I’m here, Angel? Cus’ I care?” He questioned, pushing you further into the wall. His chest was pressed right against yours, leaving you no room to escape, let alone breathe.
“Why would I give a damn where my whore on stilts wandered off to? Y’think you mean anythin’ to me other than a hole to fuck? Don’t be so naive.” He scoffed.
“You have got to be the worst fuckin’ liar, Joel. Right. You don’t care. You just happened to track down where I live, proceeded to bust down my door, just because I’m a hole for you to fuck? Right. Keep on telling yourself that, buddy boy. Keep livin’ in your delusions. See how far that gets ya.” You held in your laugh from slipping past. Could he not see that you were exhausted? You had been beaten down enough as it was, you didn’t need Joel fucking Miller pushing you down further.
“That’s it? That’s all y’can say to me? No bite back? No fuck you Joel? What the hell happened to you, huh?” He pressed further, tightening his hold around your wrists. “What happened after you left my place last night, Angel?” His tone was much softer now, gentle, laced with concern.
You couldn’t keep up with his mood swings if you tried. Joel Miller was one hot and cold man.
“No. We are not about to do this again. Not when in one breath you’re a complete asshole, and the next?!” You laughed bitterly. “Joel, I’m fuckin’ exhausted, okay? I had a shit night, and I just want to go and have a stiff drink. If you want to join, then be my guest, but I won’t take another minute of your bitching. Y’got that?”
Joel found himself studying your face. He thought that maybe he could read between the lines and figure out exactly why you were so exhausted, but you weren’t budging, not even for him. What was that bit about him fucking hating the fear of the unknown? Oh, yeah.
“Angel, look..I’m—”
“Oh, fuck no. You are not about to apologize for that. No. You meant every word, Joel. You don’t get to take that back.” You shook your head in disappointment, breaking your wrists free from his gradually loosening grip before you pulled away entirely.
Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
You didn’t even wait to see if he would follow you, you could care less if he did, or didn’t. With your keys in hand you unlocked your door, muttering about how it probably wouldn’t lock properly anymore from the damage Joel inflicted on it.
Joel’s fingers twitched at his side. He was silently debating his options. It was pointly obvious that something had happened to you, but he had no right to pry. His footsteps followed yours like a shadow.
“You should probably get your knuckles patched up.” You muttered under your breath while carelessly tossing your keys onto the kitchen counter.
“They’ll be alright. Nothin’ I can’t handle.” He replied smoothly and shoved his hands into the deep caverns of the pockets on the front of his worn jeans.
“I have a first aid kit in the bathroom.” You stated plainly. Your back was facing him behind the counter while you grabbed your stashed bottle of whiskey, and two glasses.
He was observing you with a careful eye when you turned around to face him. “Are you offering to patch up my self-inflicted wounds, baby?” He asked in a crackling rasp, like logs on a fire.
“Sure. If that’s how you want to phrase it.” You shrugged before popping the cap off the bottle with your teeth. You poured a generous splash of the amber colored liquor into both glasses. You opted to take a quick swig from the bottle, needing that little bit of relief to kick in sooner, rather than later.
“Why?” He questioned. He reached for the glass, guiding it towards him before he snatched it up in his hand. He took a hefty sip, letting the warmth from the liquor spread through his system like a warm hug.
“Are you really that fuckin’ stupid, Joel?” You wanted to laugh, but it came out more like a strained scoff if anything.
“‘Fraid so, my Angel.” He smirked over the rim of the cloudy glass.
“Guess the apocalypse shrunk men’s already pea sized brains even more.” You muttered with a shake of your head before downing the liquor from your glass in one swift gulp. Your hand wrapped around his thick wrist, and before he could protest, you were dragging him to your bathroom.
“Sit” you commanded with a gesture to the closed toilet seat.
“Look, you really don’t have to do all this, it’s justa—”
You interjected swiftly, giving him a stern glare before grabbing the first aid kit from behind the cabinet door that was barely holding on by the hinges. “Okay, so then leave, Joel.”
His brows furrowed at your response, and his lips pursed tightly. He ultimately decided to plop down on the toilet seat with a huff. “Are you going to tell me where the hell you’ve been all day? Or are you just gonna keep avoidin’ my question?”
“If you’re good, then I’ll tell you. Cause frankly, right now? I’m sick of your shit, Joel. But somehow, some way, my cold cold heart has a shred of kindness left for you.”
He scoffed, resting his head back against the peeling wallpaper. “You’re sick of my shit?”
“Yes. Because you’re a fuckin’ asshole, Joel. How many times am I going to repeat myself? Normal people don’t stalk someone, attempt to break down their door, and then demand to know where they’ve been all day!”
“Oh boy, we’re still on that topic?” He placed his bloodstained hands on his knees and shook his head before he sat back. “So, what would you rather me have done, hmm? Sweetheart, I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” he gestured with his hands, “it wasn’t like I could fuckin’ call you up! Do you see a phone in sight anywhere? No? Wow, I wonder why! It’s almost like we’re in a fuckin’ apocalypse!” He said with sarcasm dripping with every breath.
And then you threw Joel Miller for a loop when you whipped out a fucking spray bottle and sprayed his snarky ass right in the face!
It didn’t even matter where the hell you found the damn spray bottle in the first place, it was the fact that you had the balls to spray him in the face, not once, but twice when he went to open his mouth. You swore you could see the steam rising from the water droplets on his skin. Like he was an animated bull from those old animated movies. Nostrils flaring red hot flames, smoke billowing from his ears. The tea kettle had reached its boiling point.
On the opposite end of the spray bottle, you saw that very bull with steam spewing. He was flabbergasted, bewildered at your rash decision. “Did you just fuckin’ spray me like I’m a goddamn cat or somethin?!’” His voice boomed like an overhead crack of thunder unleashing its rage in a crescendo.
“I did.”
“And why the hell did you think that you could jus—go’n spray me in the face like that?!”
“You say an awful lot of stupid and hurtful shit to me, Joel Miller. You hurt my feelings, pissed me off, and I’ve just about had it. So, everytime you open that big fuckin’ mouth of yours and say somethin’ mean and stupid, I’m gonna spray you in the face with this.” You waved the spray bottle around for a moment to get your point across.
Displeased, drenched like a damn cat, Joel sent daggers your way with one harsh glare. “Oh, I didn’t realize we were throwin’ a fuckin’ pity party ontop of all of this.” He scoffed.
“Did you not—” you laughed incredulously, “hear a goddamn word I just said? Fine. Well, let me remind you what happens when you’re fuckin’ stupid!” You sprayed him again.
This time he shut up..for now.
“Refreshing.” He mumbled very much like a dog with its tail between its legs.
You set the spray bottle down along the edge of the counter where it was in arm's reach, before you sank down between his spread knees with the first aid kit tucked under your armpit. “Let me see just what kinda damage you’ve done to your beautiful hands, Joel.” Your voice was much softer now compared to moments earlier. At least now you had him tamed and compliant.
“I didn’t break ‘em. Although, if you hadn’t shown up, I probably would have. And they ain’t beautiful, Angel. They’re ugly.” He gruffed out.
“They’re beautiful to me, Joel.” You reached for his hands once they were presented in front of you. The blood had already begun to congeal and dry in some places. “Yeah, you definitely have some splinters in there that are gonna have to come out.”
“Fuck no. Just leave ‘em.” He shook his head.
For the first time in over 24 hours, you smiled. It was really just a slight tug of your lips, but it was there. “Are you afraid of tweezers or somethin?’” You mused.
He scowled at your question and picked a spot on the wall to stare at so he didn’t have to make eye contact. “No.” He grumbled, jaw ticking under the dangling bathroom light.
“You sure about that?” You asked while placing the first aid kit alongside you on the floor. You popped it open, rifling through the different aids before pulling out disinfectant spray and tweezers.
“Crystal.” He confirmed.
“Ookay.” You did your best to hide your little grin while you held the disinfectant spray a few inches above his hands. “This might sting a little.” You softly warned him.
He barely flinched when he felt the sudden coolness from the spray adhering to his open wounds. His nose did twitch the slightest when the stinging sensation settled in.
“You’re being an excellent patient for me, Mr. Miller. Maybe if you’re a good boy for the next part, I’ll reward you with a lollipop.”
He finally looked at you, tearing his gaze from the wallpaper to meet your eyes. His lips curved upwards into a small smirk. “Sounds wonderful, Doctor. Do you promise to be gentle?” He played along.
“Always, Joel.” You replied.
His eyes stayed locked on your own for what felt like hours, neither of you quite ready to break the contact just yet. He cleared his throat, shifting along the closed toilet seat. “Uh, will..you hold my hand? I lied about the tweezer thing. Splinters hurt like a bitch, and uh—yeah.” He muttered under his breath while the heat began to rise rapidly to his cheeks. Even the tips of his ears turned beet red.
“If it’ll make you feel more comfortable, Joel.” You nodded reassuringly. Your left hand reached for his own when he had pulled back slightly in a jerking movement. You could sense his palpable hesitation radiating off of him before he finally relaxed.
“This is stupid.” He said suddenly, feeling more bashful as the seconds ticked by.
“It’s not stupid at all, Joel. Splinters are no fun at all.”
I mean, This. Me and you. It’s stupid. I shouldn’t be blushing like a schoolgirl right now. And over what? Holding hands? He thought to himself.
He’s kinda sweet..in his own Joel way. You thought silently to yourself.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Sweet. Sweet. Sweet.
“Get on with it, please.” He nearly whispered when his left hand finally reached towards your own. He was the one to thread his fingers through yours and let your entwined hands rest along his left thigh comfortably.
It took all of twenty minutes for you to successfully remove every splinter from his hands. Some fragmented pieces of wood were a bit deeper than others. He was a real champ, and you surprised him with a kiss. A soft reward that he felt he was undeserving of.
“I think you should let them breathe a bit longer and then we’ll bandage up.” You said while moving to stand back up. Your left hand was still engulfed in his own when he stopped you from standing up.
“Aren’t you gonna kiss them all better, doctor?” He asked with a tilt of his head. He looked like a puppy with his tousled, wild hair, and big brown eyes staring at you.
You found your lips kissing his broken skin before you even had a chance to respond. A kiss was pressed to each knuckle in an affectionate manner.
He broke the silence when your hand departed from his and you busied yourself with putting away the first aid kit.
“Are you going to tell me what happened to you out there, or are we gonna keep dancin’ around the subject?” He asked rather softly. Almost as if he was concerned.
“There’s nothing to talk about, Joel.”
Please don’t ask me again.
“Angel..”
“Let’s go finish our drinks.” You interjected with a hidden fake smile.
His eyes follow your silhouette when you swiftly remove yourself from the small bathroom. He shakes his head with a sigh before he finally stands up. He eyes the spray bottle still resting along the bathroom counter, and in an extremely cat-like fashion, he swiftly knocks it over into the trash bin below.
Good riddance.
When Joel left your bathroom, he soon found you with your feet tucked under your thighs on the far end of the couch. You appeared to be staring off into space while you nursed your glass of whiskey in silence. He really wasn’t quite sure what to think of your behavior, let alone how he should approach you.
Nonetheless he grabbed his own glass and joined you on the couch. Your eyes stayed focused on the wall even when you felt the old cushions dip down from Joel’s weight pressing down on them gradually.
He swirled the contents around in his glass absentmindedly before he took a small sip. You could feel his eyes along the side of your head when he moved the glass to rest between his knees.
“I really wish you would jus’..talk to me, sweetheart.” He rasped softly while he twiddled with his fingers that weren’t wrapped around the glass. He was never really good at having these types of conversations, but he’d be damned if he didn’t try one last time.
You shifted uncomfortably from his words. You didn’t want to tell him what happened to you in that disgusting alley. Or the way that Benji’s touch made you feel nauseous. You didn’t want to tell Joel that you were made to feel like literal human trash. Pond scum, gum beneath men’s shoes. You didn’t want to confess that you spent a night in lockup, crying against the cold concrete till your body could no longer produce tears while Benji, and a few of his FEDRA friends proceeded to violate you further, stripping you of your autonomy and dignity with grime stained fingernails, and cruel laughter. Nothin’ but a common street whore, that one. Make her gag on it. I wanna see tears streaming down those pretty fuckin’ cheeks, boys. Miller ain’t here to save you now, Angel. You belong to us.
You didn’t want Joel to believe that you were this broken, damaged person. You didn’t want him to take pity on you. That was quite literally the last thing you wanted from him. But, you were only human, after all, and pain had a sneaky way of revealing itself even when you had done everything possible to cloak it.
He watched as you drained the contents of your glass wordlessly before you slipped down from the couch, falling to your knees between his thighs.
She loves it, don’t be fooled boys. She loves to be fucked like a dirty little whore. Ain’t that right, Angel? Joel Miller got her all obedient, just for us. She’ll do anythin’ you ask of her.
“Angel.” He started, words lodging in his throat. Something about this felt wrong.
You ignored him, reaching for his belt with trembling fingers as you worked it open.
Cus’ a whore is all you’ll ever be, sweetheart. The best pussy in all of the fuckin’ QZ. Bet he’ll smell me all over ya, Angel. I hope he does. I hope that guard dog can fuckin’ taste my come inside of ya next time he takes you.
Joel finds himself frozen in time when he sees the way your fingers tremble. He’s stunned and unsure what he should do in this situation. He’s never seen you like this before. He’s used to your brashness. Your confidence. Your swift, snarky, sarcastic remarks. The woman on her knees between his thighs is not you. He knows then that he has to stop this. He has to say something.
“Angel, baby. I don’t think we—” he struggles to find the right words to say. To be delicate, but firm. This had nothing to do with his own feelings, and had everything to do with yours. “This doesn’t feel right, sweetheart.”
Your heart sinks to the pits. He knows. He fucking knows. He knows, and thinks you to be worthless, just like the rest of them.
You sink back along your thighs, tears pooling in your eyes. “You don’t..want me anymore, Joel?” You ask above a whisper, holding on by a mangled thread.
He shakes his head slowly, his heart breaking in the process.
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whatthebodygraspsnot · 7 months ago
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“I went to the gym, so I will be able to hold you up even longer” 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
“I went to the gym, so I will be able to hold you up even longer” additional tags: (wrongly) assumed infidelity, miscommunication that gets resolved, this must be an au bc mickey would obv never interrupt his own sleep to leave the apartment
Mickey steps carefully into their apartment, taking great care to shut the door without being too loud. He closes it with barely a click. But nothing can prepare him for what happens next.
When Mickey turns, it’s like he’s stepped right into a 90s romantic drama, the single floor lamp clicking on to shine in a perfect spotlight, revealing where his husband is very much awake, and very much waiting for his return.
He’s sitting on the couch. Tucked up in his bathrobe and the most unimpressed frown.
“Fuck.”
“Who is he?”
Mickey glances from left to right. Behind himself. Looks at Ian again, his heart still pounding in his chest from the startle. “Who’s who?”
“Don’t gimme that.” And now Ian’s standing up, gathering his robe around himself as he prepares to fire off The Chin. “You disappear every night - yes, I noticed,” he states before Mickey can interrupt. “Bring a bag with you… Come home sweaty… I know you think you’re sneaky, but you’re fucking bad at hiding this, Mickey.”
It takes a second for everything to sink in. For the endorphins from the last couple hours to start pumping upward into his brain this time. 
And… Damn.
Ian caught him.
To be perfectly honest, Mickey thought he was getting away with this shit - was being real cagey and everything too - even getting a shower in before sliding back into bed with him.
“Two hours. That enough to meet up with him and do what you gotta do?”
Meet up with who? Yeah right. “You think I can get somebody out at this hour?” Mickey asks, his confusion starting to put him on edge. “Been doing this shit all on my own. Well-... I mean ‘cept for the other handful of guys who show up sometimes…”
And the way Ian’s eyebrows rise is almost as startling as how he stops in his tracks, repeating the words back to him with dragged out intensity. “‘Handful of guys’...?”
It’s got Mickey slugging his bag off his shoulder, the dramatics of it all really killing his high. “Christ, Ian. What’re you bein’ so bitchy for-”
“What am I being bitchy for.” There he goes again, repeating shit. Like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. “Mickey are you fucking serious?”
“Yeah - what - I was doin’ this shit for you, anyway. Thought you’d at least be excited about it.”
Oh. Fuck. Ian does not like that. “Excited?” Off comes the robe, in a flurry of angry movements. He’s running hot, and not in a good way. “Why the fuck would I be excited about my husband cheating on me!”
And it’s-...
He’s-...
Wait a second.
“What?”
“You thought you could go out every night and meet up with a ‘handful of guys’ and I’d be jumping for joy?” He sure is using air quotes like he’s having a good time with it, but no no no-
“What the-...” Mickey shakes his head, trying to clear the air because holy fuck, “I ain’t fuckin’ cheating on you, Ian - the hell?”
“You just said-” 
“Christ, you think I’m out bangin’ other dudes?”
“Wuh-...! You-...!”
Mickey rubs a hand over his mouth, everything suddenly making a whole lot of sense. The dramatics. The theater of it all. Ian was catching him coming home from the act, but ‘the act’ ended up being two very different things in their respective heads.
“Holy shit,” Mickey breathes out, going for his bag so he can put that thought immediately out of Ian’s head. “Look.”
He tugs the zipper open. Starts dumping out its contents on the floor right between them - his gym shoes - his old-ass iPod - a workout shirt - socks that stink so bad that they’re all he really needed to avoid all this. One whiff would’ve immediately made things clear.
But it’s enough now. Ian is slowly putting all the pieces together, the worry in his brow evening out and his chin returning to normal pointedness. Finally.
“You…” you says, hope returning. “You’ve been…going to the gym…?”
Mickey gestures to the pile of clothes in between them, his tone evening into something honest. “Yeah, man. Thought you wouldn’t notice once you knocked out…”
Ian eyes over everything one more time. Then slowly, his lips pull into a small pout, those eyes flicking away. “I notice every time you’re not in bed.” ‘Bitch.’ He wants to add it so bad. Mickey can practically see it trying to break through.
But he doesn’t. And there’s something so sheepish and honest and vulnerable about it, that Mickey can’t help but smile, peace returning as he stuffs his clothes and shoes back into his bag. “Fuck would I ever cheat on you for, ya dummy?”
A beat passes. Thoughts lingering. “I dunno… I just thought-...” 
“Well stop.” It sure makes a lot of sense, though. Now that he sees it through that lens. Fuck, he’d probably think the same thing if their roles were switched. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to getchya all riled up…”
“S’okay…” Ian watches as Mickey gets himself sorted. Still has a lot of questions trying to get out - he can tell. And it starts with this one. “What do you mean you were doing this for me?”
It’s the correct one - right away. And Mickey’s glad he asked, actually. Because if he must know…
The floorboards creak beneath his shoes as he steps up into Ian’s space, his muscles warmed up and ready enough to finally show off his skills. 
And when he does it - when he wrangles his giant-ass husband in and hauls him up until he's got those thick thighs straddling his waist, Ian’s startle and wide eyes say it all as Mickey slots him up against the wall - all two hundred pounds - keeping him held up in his arms.
“Been goin’ to the gym so I can lift ya,” he preens, impressed with his own strength.
Because he’s been working for this moment. For the look of sheer shock in Ian’s eyes from the rush of it - how it simmers into delight and pride and something much, much steamier the longer he holds him up.
And damn, that little breathy, impressed laugh that huffs out between them. “Fuck, Mick…”
Oh yeah. This is what all that 2am weightlifting has been for.
“You like that, huh?” Mickey grins, the atmosphere shifting familiar and fun - heavy in a good way. “This do it for ya?”
From his arms, Ian nods, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as he takes a second to eat Mickey up with his eyes, those big arms wrapping around the back of his neck. 
He probably thought he was doing a decent job at hiding how hot he gets with this - when Mickey can make him feel small and moveable. 
They’re both absolute dogshit at keeping secrets, it turns out.
[ send me a smutty one-liner ]
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hijackalx · 1 year ago
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KARLACH SFW HEADCANONS: 
 shes literally the least toxic out of everybody 😹😹 SHES JUST SO SWEET !!!! she loves to take care of tav, like after battles she'll have them sit on her lap while she dresses their wounds HELP !!! and the whole time she'll tease them with sneaky touches. she also likes to pick up tav, like spinning them around or throwing them over her shoulder is funny to her.
shes got a really innocent and childlike quality to her especially when shes in love like her and tav banter so often but its always lighthearted and sweet. and theyll play games with each other while traveling like who can throw the rock the farthest or some shit 😹😭 karlach would win normally but she likes to hold back so tav can win.
i also think shes pretty sensitive lowkey and its easy to upset her. she doesnt get mad though she just gets in her feelings and gets sad and distant. might need reassurance from tav sometimes when it comes to how much they love her.
love language:
giving = psychical touch and gift giving.
after not being able to touch people for soooo long of course her love language is touch. she literally cant get enough of tav, she almost always has a part of her touching them. i feel like she likes to wrap her tail around their leg when theyre talking lol like a cat. i can also see her being really excited to give tav items shes found or bought. all because they reminded her of them 🥰 her and tav should start a rock collection she'd love finding pretty rocks for them im crying can u imagine the party walking through the mountain pass and karlach keeps stopping to excitedly point out a rock to tav 😭😭
receiving = obv psychical touch but also acts of service? i feel like she doesnt ever EXPECT anything from anyone so when tav does go out of their way to do things for her it almost makes her cry lol.
shes also def as big and buff as she looks. like 6'4 pure muscle baby. she is a sight to behold. also feel like shes got bangin thighs and some booty too 🤭 she loves to sit tav on her thighs and do some nsfw things with them too lol
KARLACH NSFW HEADCANONS:
 okay so karlach i feel is very switchy. like she really enjoys being dominant and on top but she'll also be submissive and bottom too. she really just likes to do what tav wants. that being said i feel like shes rlly a giver like she just wants to see tav get off and it turns her on so much.
ok this might be kind of obvious but she will want tav to call her mommy LMAO like she loves it and she also loves when tav calls her that outside of sex its just so saucy eugh 😜
sooo into thigh riding like will sit tav on her thigh and bounce them or press her thigh/knee betwen tav's legs so they can grind against her like its her favorite OK
cannot get off if tav hasnt yet so how long she lasts usually depends on them. its that serious
okay. listen. i feel like karlach is more on the vanilla side AND I KNOW RHATS NOT WHAT YALL WANNA HEAR BUT YOU WILL HEAR IT ANYWAY !!!!!! like besides the mommy thing she just doesnt have that many kinks BUT she will participate in whatever kinks tav has so 🤷🏼
likes to wear a strap. a big ass gargantuan one too #prayfortavshole i also think shes prolly a lil dry normally cuz of her condition and all that...... but thats ok baby thats why we have lube 😘 (also LOVES when tav uses their spit as lube)
aftercare is very important to karlach cuz she likes to take care of tav already like i said before. like she'll clean them up and maybe suggest giving them a bath after 🥺 and she'll tell them how much she enjoyed it and all that
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luffyvace · 10 months ago
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Luffy x black reader♡
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not a request or from my list i just wanted to do more luffy/ace and one piece content since it’s is what this acc mains:)
more of luffy and ace will come sooner or later so enjoy loves<3
not gonna specify gender bc there’s more for fem black reader i believe so i’ll leave up to you as to who you are☀︎
obviously luffy’s seen black people before
and i say that bc it’s not like in some anime’s where all the background characters are pale
some are tan, black, pale, whatever!
i like the diversity in one piece :)
anyway so yeah we’re starting with the hair
he likes the texture of it and will subconsciously play with your hair a lot
i feel like he does the same to usopp
your hair may or may not be longer than his tho
whoever has longer hair when he stretches it out is who’s hair he plays with more
you and usopp def relate and make inside jokes
he says “boing boing boing” while pulling on your hair and watching the recoil/shrinkage
LOLL
there’s a lot more males in one piece and the black ones usually have they’re hair in fro’s
especially since majority are pirates
but when he sees you braid your hair he thinks it’s cool and asks you to do the same to his
and you do but you tell him and won’t be the same
you explain that it’s a protective style that-
whats that? 🤨
he doesn’t get it 😐
🧍‍♀️
nevermind luffy..
likes to take baths with you and wash your hair for you
honestly he likes the whole process of you taking care of your hair
like the drying, the boing, what it looks like when it’s wet
everything
as far as AAVE
you either talk to usopp or loose your mind trying to explain it to him 😭
you and usopp could have a whole conversation and NO ONE is able to “decode” what your talking about
”what language is that?? what are you talking about?”
”are you hiding secrets?” teach me i wanna know!!”
if you do bother to try
after explaining all he says is ‘i don’t get it’
‘so you created your own language??”
”you know what luffy..yeah, that’s the best i can explain it to you anyway”
if y’all come across an adventure where a code needs to be cracked he’s gonna assume you know it 🤷‍♀️
YOUR FITS BE FIRE🔥🔥
but usopp gets it better than he does 😔
the rest of the crew too duh
but luffy…
my boy just don’t care about who’s wearing what and WHY
he doesn’t see a fancy rich lady because she’s wearing expensive clothes
he sees a lady.
likewise when he sees you, he sees…….YOU
duh..🤦‍♀️
sooo..yeah kinda disappointing 😭
at least you have usopp tho 🗣🗣
which reminds me to quickly mention if your chubby he pays it no mind
unless it’s affecting your mental health, then he does everything in his power to make you laugh
now i know he called alvida fat at first, BUT i feel if luffy likes you he’s less likely to insult you
usopp nose don’t count
due to that i’ll say he wouldn’t call you any mean names if you are chubby
in the same way he won’t mention or compliment you if you have curves/abs
even if you worked hard for them 😞
also thinks you rival sanji when it comes to cooking and seasonings
for the sake of the headcanons let’s say you can cook if you can’t
“MMMM _____ THIS IS SOO GOOD!!”
”YUMMYYYYY!!”
”did sanji teach you how to cook?! this is delicious!!”
TEACH HIM THE WORD BUSSIN/BANGIN IT’D BE SO FUNNY
”MMM ______ THIS MEAT BUSSIN!!”
IMAGINE THAT IN LUFFY’S VOICE
anyway🧍‍♀️
your mac and cheese>>🤤
sanji is certainly impressed by such skills
even more so when you say it’s been passed down through generations
he’s kind enough to let you prepare some dishes even!
only down slide is..now you have to cook for luffy
you and sanji gotta 2v1 this man in the middle of the night to keep him from raiding the fridge 😞😒
and you best bet this man will go back and forth between begging you and sanji to cook for him
depending on what type of person you are you’ll do it or not
and he’s STILL rushing you even when your BOTH working on cooking
ain’t fast enough 😐
my mans needs the food right in front of him 😭🤦‍♀️
you tell him all about your culture and he listens well and wants to try some stuff
he might want to try head wraps, food (obviously) and dances the most
you can tell he’s genuinely interested and it makes you happy
also another thing about your hair is he describes it as ticklish
”ticklish? luffy?”
“yeah! because when we go to sleep or cuddle and you turn around, your hair tickles my nose and i sneeze!”
😭😭
also wonders why your hair and skin is oily
will swipe some off your nose and rub it between his fingers
BRO PLEASE
after you explain to him that that’s naturally how you are and it’s to keep your hair and skin from going dry he’s like “oooooh.”
doesn’t question it much after that
two more things about the AAVE
one, after he hears you call your “language” AAVE he asks what it stands for/means and when you tell him
“it stands for ‘African American Vernacular English’ Luffy, basically it means how black people talk.”
OHHHHH HE THINKS HE GETS IT NOW!!
omg finally?!?!
that took so long but whatever 😭
”so is that why you talk like that?”
”i should slap the taste outta your mouth” 😒
”WHAT?! that’s sounds like it’ll hurt!! don’t do that _____ i won’t be able to taste food anymore!!” ☹️
your conversations consist of :
”WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?! I DON’T GET IT?! EXPLAIN!!”
“JUST FORGET IT!!”
have fun explaining your every sentence to this man :)
yippie i finally did more luffy hcs! i’ve been wanting to for a long time but worked on other drafts instead and never got around to it. anyway, hopefully you enjoyed loves!! <3
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girlboypersonthingy · 2 years ago
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paladins (ESP PIDGE AND KEITH) x chubby read plz🛐
HELL YESSSS as a chubby reader myself, I LOVE THIS!!! So this is going to get a bit body specific just fyi. Also this gets a little suggestive, mostly just getting handsy and making out. I’ve included my fav 3 paladins ❤️💙💚 Thank you again for requesting, anon ILY 🖤 ENJOY~
UPDATE: I posted a part 2 with Shiro, Hunk and Matt. Go check it out HERE 🖤💛🧡
Keith, Lance and Pidge x chubby reader~
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KEITH ❤️
Dude…your hips drive him CRAZY. He loves to hold onto them as he leans in for a kiss. He just thinks all of you feels good to grab onto. When y’all are in private, he’s just letting his hands wander your whole body…with your consent of course.
He’s like “Hey…uh (Y/N)? C-can I uh…touch y-your. Sorry. Can I grab your- well not grab. Th-that’s NOT what I meant. Ugh, Shit…” and you eventually decide to end his suffering by grabbing his hands and leading the way, showing him exactly where you want them.
He LOVES training and sparring with you.
Bc he gets to be as handsy as he wants with you without it being weird
Bc you can totally hold your own against him. Sure, you’re chubby but you’re strong and you stand your ground so well. You’re a good challenge for him.
Bc he wants to show off and impress you. You know this boy would try SO HARD to flex on you during training. Plz admire and compliment him.
If he ever hears even a slightly rude comment from anyone about your weight or the way you look (it definitely wouldn’t be from the other paladins tho) he’s gonna immediately go sicko mode on them. Boy would kill someone for you for real.
If you’re ever sad about it, he’s not exactly the best at comforting you but he really tries. He’ll hold you close and either rub his hands over your skin softly or he’ll gently pet your hair.
He’s honestly just confused like ??? But you’re so hot…who cares if you’re a little chubby? He’s just so chill about it. It’s obviously never bothered him. He thinks you’re gorgeous regardless.
Every time you two are having a steamy make out session, he can’t help but squeeze different parts of you. He pulls you to lay on top of him and kisses you softly as his hands feel their way around. You’re so soft, physically and emotionally. You make him feel so comfy and content.
Keith doesn’t seem like the type to really even care about body types tho. If he vibes with you, then that’s all that matters. 🤷🏻
BUT he does like that you have a little something extra to offer him~
LANCE 💙
HE THINKS YOU ARE SO FUCKIN GOOD LOOKING ASHDJJDJJJK 😍
He’s a tall lanky boy and he likes that you’re thicker than him. He thinks your physical differences make you guys a really cute couple.
He wants to make you feel good about yourself ALWAYS so he flirts very strategically with you. He uses specific pick up lines that make you feel good about being chubby.
“(Y/N), as long as I have a face, you’ll always have a place to sit.” Omfg what a perv.
“If I told you that you have a bangin body, would you hold it against me?” Boy bye.
“Yeah, anybody can fly in a straight line. It takes a REAL pilot to handle the curves~” GOODBYE HE’S SO CHEESY
If he ever even suspected that anyone was talking shit about your weight or how you look, he’d try to distract you and calmly lead you away from the situation. Then he’d try to get all kissy and grabby and show you how much he adores you and your body.
If you’re ever sad about your weight or appearance, he’s shutting that thought down immediately. He’s totally felt insecure about his own physique before so he kinda gets it. He always reassures you that you are so freaking cute and that he loves every single inch of you.
You often catch him staring at you with wide eyes and an open, drooly mouth. “Uhm can I help you?” “Huh? Oh, no…sorry. Heh.” And he’s turning bright red as he continues to try and sneak glances at you. The way your clothes fit to you is just unfair. He can’t focus when you’re in the room, bending down, leaning over, teasing him.
When you two are getting kissy and handsy, he always pulls you into his lap and grips your thick thighs. Boy has a thing for your thighs. He wants those things wrapped around his head right now.
With Lance, it’s not just that your body doesn’t bother him, it’s that he actually REALLY likes your body. He loves the way you look, he thinks you are perfect and wouldn’t change a single thing.
PIDGE 💚
Oh my god, they are so into you. They’re so tiny and they just want you to hold them in your big warm arms.
When y’all first met, they were just thinking ‘oh my god, you’re so cute. I’d literally let you step on me.’
You wouldn’t think Pidge is super touchy but with you, they are always trying to initiate physical touch.
They like to lay their head on your thigh as they code on their computer. They like to lay on top of you in bed, their head on your chest as it rises and falls with each breath. Most of all, they LOVE being your little spoon when they are upset and in need of comfort. Their head is cushioned by your arm, your other arm is wrapped around their torso and they’re just so comfy. They are sad for like 5 seconds and then they are SNORING. You calm them down like no one else.
Pidge definitely isn’t as kissy and handsy as the boys are, but they CRAVE your touch. They just want you to hold them so tightly that they can’t inhale another breath. They want you to smother them with your love.
PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GIVE THEM PIGGY BACK RIDES THEY LOVE IT. Just carry them around in any position and their little heart is melting. The best is when they fall asleep on the floor or at a desk while doing their work and you pick them up and carry them to bed. They wake up like “huh?” And then they see you in their bed, cuddling up to them and they have so many feelings for you rn wow.
They are always cold so when you come in the room, they’re like “forget a sweater. Get over here.” And you proceed to hold them close, keeping them warm as they tap away on their laptop.
Pidge is a loud mouth, not afraid of anything or anyone so if they overhear some negative things being said about your body or weight, they immediately start talking shit right back. “WHAT WAS THAT?! OH REALLY??? GET OVER HERE AND SAY IT AGAIN, I DARE YOU.” They will not hesitate to verbally AND physically tear someone apart in your honor.
If you are feeling sad and insecure, Pidge will stop everything they are doing, which always surprises you, and take you back to their room for cuddles. They like to switch roles sometimes and pull you to lay on top of them. You worry that you’ll hurt them or make them uncomfortable but they refuse to let you move off of them. “No, please. You’re like a weighted blanket, I love this.” And they do. They love this more than anything.
One of the best parts about being plus size and dating Pidge is that they have no shame, about the way they look, the way they eat, the way they dress, the way they sit. So you feel so secure when you eat in front of them or when you wear something that maybe isn’t the most flattering on your body. They don’t give a single fuck, you’re cute 24/7, 365, no matter what in their opinion.
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sneverussape · 1 year ago
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the phantom at the fishmongers
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“seamus!”
“well good bleedin’ mornin’ to you too, dean thomas. found my number now have ye?”
“shut it! listen…you won’t believe me but…I think i just saw a ghost. a proper one.”
“…are you soft in the head? what did ye think nearly headless nick was? a hallucination? ya twat!”
“no listen! I think…see, I went round to the fishmongers. im up north with Anatole and his family and i thought I’d surprise them with a bangin’ fish pie…”
“get to the bleedin point! jesus, merlin, and mary.”
“im getting to that part! the man who’s here with me at the fishmongers…mate, I think it’s snape.”
“yer outta yer MIND, thomas. the man has been bloody dead for ten years!”
“no, im not joking, it absolutely looks like him, only…well he’s wearing more color than snape ever did.”
“old snape would have never worn color. the man seemed to have been made of spite and ink.”
“ok hang on…hang on—”
“where are ye exactly? imma apparate to you and see for meself. yer not drunk, are ye?! for SHAME, thomas…”
“no im not! okay…right, let me approach—oh. oh.”
“what? what?!”
“they called him mr prince and said he’s lived here for ages. he also spoke in the dialect too. damn.”
“I told ye it wasn’t him. old snape…didn’t like him much but bless his soul that one. ye all right then? next thing you’ll tell me is that you’ve seen you-know-who in Majorca or somethin’.”
“ah. I really thought…well never mind.”
“tell you what, come round to ours tomorrow and we can do a round or two of quidditch. it’s been too long anyway. take anatole. he can be the chaser.”
“all right, I’ll take you up on that offer.”
“and bring some of that blessed fish pie ye were braggin’ about. let’s see if yer english cooking is worth an irishman’s appetite.”
“you’ll see stars, finnegan.”
“yeah well you’ll see stars too if it won’t be any good. pop round at 10. I’ll keep the floo open.”
“see you then.”
“take care, mate.”
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lucabyte · 6 months ago
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hi im the anon who asked for ocs
thank you so much i love them so much
Im so happyy and gwaaghhh love your art and ocs so much and the worldbuilding seems so cool!!!!
erm i have not yet read all the linked things (hehehe soon SOOON) and literally would love to know even more about ALL OF THEM so uhhh *spins the wheel* tabitha
Hiiiiii!!! Cradles this ask in my hands like a baby bird. Thabmk you..... I have been staring at this ask periodically for days because I wanted to do some little explainer charts and do it justice for how kind you've been :')
Anyway!!! Tabitha is the funniest character to ask about first because he's like a fucked up little lodestone for MYMK's various factions.
Tabitha is.... A sleepy little (38 year old) guy. He has never done anything notable in his whole life ever.
... So he's the son of the richest man in the country. Not that he tries to think about that particularly often. His partner also doesn't think much about it since... Well, it doesn't really come up? Neither like their family so neither talk about nor visit them. And Chrome first got endeared to Tabitha after dragging his malnourished ass off the office floor a few dozen times when he'd passed out at work. He's clearly not bougie (and Chrome was relatively middle class anyway).
Eeeeeveryone else in Cliffside though (who's politically aware) is just, so suspicious of his sleepyhead ditzy guy demeanor. There's no way he's really that clueless and dim-witted.
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Which... Is true. He's not dim-witted, just spacey and has internalised that all of his knowledge is worth absolutely nothing an undiagnosed autistic man who is finally in a low-stress environment.
So he's generally spending most of his days reading wikipedia, sitting in the sun on an unfinished porch, or doing the bare-minimum work he needs to pretend to still be employed. (He's still a music producer, just one that is very VERY derivative of his peers...)
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(pictured: Tabitha bangin out the tunes)
But yeah! He's genuinely a chill dude. But once the plot gets rolling he does become an... Obvious hostage for the more dubious of our main characters. He's more fine with the hostage thing than the requirement he go deal with his family again.
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But obviously things go a little awry when trying to use someone as a bargaining chip like this, even if they don't want to defect...
Which is where Tabitha's absoute UNINTENDED TRAIL OF DESOLATION rears its head. Turns out he uh, actually did have social connections before he up and vanished from all their lives? Turns out that um... You exist to other people?
Tabitha, high strung and basically constantly in meltdown mode in his late-teens early-20s did a lot of peacekeeping for his father. Peacekeeping between him, and the people that were Tabitha's childhood peers. It doesn't help that he was a good 5-8 years older than a lot of them, being somewhat of a cool older kid/teen/adult to look up to. And then! When he finally broke he just up and left, never really looking back.
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It's hardly his fault, he was under a lot of pressure and was hardly properly socialised for this... But these are the sharks he'll be thrown to should he end up anywhere near his old haunts. Which he is. And will end up being. If he is perhaps brought there by our well meaning protagonists. Oops.
I like Tabitha a lot and he's a particularly deep side-character of mine. Functioning as an obstacle, ally, win condition... And very dangerous 'I'll kill everyone in the room and then myself' for Chrome should something happen to him. So be careful! He's fragile! And don't forget he has thoughts of his own, too...
I have a longer diatribe (Link!) detailing his whole backstory and meta-backstory (he's built out of psychoanalysed anime tropes!) so I wanted to talk about his actual um. Plot role and relationships outside of Chrome a bit! (BECAUSE HIS RELATIONSHIP TO CHROME IS VERY SWEET AND IS MY HOMEGROWN OTP BUT ALSO. THEY ARE CODEPENDENT. BADLY.)
He's fun because he is basically One Of The Villains who fucked off before too much villain shit went down. Which makes him silly as a supporting character. Gotta make sure he doesn't eat too much of the screen-time though.... (He gets enough in Purrgatorio...)
But yeah. Diversity win! This vaguely asexual autistic guy has managed to find a loving partner and a life that doesn't make his head feel like its filled with bees! It's filled with mostly cotton instead now but! He is okay.
Aaaand IMAGE BLAST
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... Oh good lord Chrome and Tabitha will be turning 10 years old for real next year also. 11th of November 2015. What a time. Can you believe that I originally made him to be in his like, 20s? Fucked up. He should probably be older than 38 tbf but at this point the timeline is locked in. But god. 10 years. Happy upcoming birthday boys.
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jazzy-art-time · 5 months ago
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Are there any fun interactions you think there’d be between the OG ocs versus their jarble variants? Aka the sluttyverse
SLUTTYVERSE..,, I’m lLOSING IT.,,,
but ACTUALLY ☝️🤓
YES I have thought about this before! Primarily for shitpost purposes.
UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE I RAMBLE A BIT!!
Not EVERY jarble character but some off the top of my head that I’ve thought with this about!!!
Canon Alaxia VS Jarble Alaxia
In this scenario I have two possible ways it would go down:
Alaxia would assault J!Alaxia on sight. Like straight up begin beating Jalax UP. Canon would see him as weak and pathetic and want this man out of his sight.
OR
In a scenario where Canon is in a proper state of mind. I imagine they both would look at each other in a very exhausted and somber way with that token “….. you too?” Kind of manner. Both are very different people and in different situations, but both are equally haunted and ruined by Wem in some manner.
I eat that sad shit up I don’t care if it’s cliche!!
Canon Eden VS Jarble Eden
Much like Alax, both Canon and Jarble are very different from one another.
I imagine Canon would be like “wow.. your so pretty and sure of yourself… I envy that :( I could never pull those kinds of clothes off…”
And then Jarble would be very audibly disgusted with Canon. Like “this sad little man is supposed to be me? Where is your rage. Your fire!!” And would instantly put Canon into boot camp for Self Confidence and also belittle him the entire time.
Meanwhile Canon would have to listen to Jarble constantly complain about their problems and sit there like “my universe i had to struggle to become a god to save my universe from a plague. You didn’t get 300k likes on a Instagram post of food.” And have to listen to first world rich person problems with a 🙂 expression
Also Jarble would be absolutely FURIOUS that Canon has/gets so many partners while he remains maidenless
Canon Jody VS Jarble Jody
I think this one would be funny solely because of Jarble being a arcanine now. Which means that I can make this joke
Canon loves dogs and has a lot of dogs. Jarble loves lizards and has a lot of lizards.
I imagine they both would look at each other in silence like “so cool. So cool. So cool. So cool. So cool.” And be happy that they exist as their favorite animal in another universe.
They also would both find comfort in one another for things they go through. Unlike Alaxia who would find a depressing kinship, the Jody’s would find a happy and peaceful feeling knowing they aren’t alone. (If that makes sense)
Canon Etoile VS Jarble Etoile
Honestly they both would probably detest each other greatly!
Jarble would hate Canon for how they treat The Pinkies and various other circumstances. Because in Jarble Universe, they love the twins deeply and would never hurt them despite their flaws and circumstances. Unlike Canon who [PlotSpoiler].
Canon would hate Jarble just for the fact that they were with Wem and had a kid with him. Like Etoile can’t/doesn’t usually feel emotions, but in that moment of finding that information out I imagine that thing would be SEETHING
Also Canon would HATE Jarble’s hair. Constantly trying to rip it off like a wig.
Canon Solo VS Jarble Solo
They would fist fight on sight. Started by Canon.
He would hear Jarble talk about how he treats Jody ONCE and would leap at him and instantly start punching. Canon doesn’t care if that isn’t HIS Jody, he would hate how Jarble treats her.
If in a situation where they aren’t fighting, I imagine Jarble would be mortified by Solo’s clothing choices.
Jarble: hah. Nice set of bras, you bangin a lotta chicks? My man!
Canon: oh no. Those are mine actually.
Jarble: 😦
And also imagine that Jarble would be mildly jealous of Canon for having a band. Jarble didn’t get that opportunity growing up and would probably be envious.
Canon M VS Jarble M
Okay this one I’ve actually discussed with Fridge. In Jarble, Dax exists but as the Jarble universe’s Hatsune Miku.
Jarble is obsessed with Dax-sune Miku. Like obsessed like imagine the worst anime fan you know and that’s Jarble with DaxsuneMiku.
So I imagine upon meeting, Jarble would be like “WAIT. YOU GOT THE ACTUAL DAX? YOU ARE WITH THE REAL LIFE DAX? DAX IS A REAL CONCEPT? A REAL THING??”
Also I imagine Canon would be envious of Jarble for having a healthy and happy family. She wouldn’t show it and be supportive and happy for her, but overall just… mildly dead inside about it.
Also Jarble would try to show Canon any piece of cool looking technology and have to fight Canon to not eat it.
Canon Dysnomia VS Jarble Dysnomia
Honestly both wouldn’t think much of one another? Canon is used to Multiverse Madness level stuff and Jarble just… wouldn’t care. Like he is always unbothered.
Canon would probably take great pride in how Jarble is muscular. Like it isn’t him but also he would gloat about how he’s shredded in another universe.
ALTHOUGH. Canon would probably freak out when he learns about Jarble’s situationship with Eden. Like “wHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU MESS AROUND WITH THAT THING??? WHAT?? THE WORST VERSION OF THAT MAN??” And would have a crisis over it.
Jarble would also be fascinated by what a Beholder is, as Jarble is not a beholder/they don’t exist there. Would 100% try to poke Canon’s eyeballs.
Canon Goddess VS Jarble Goddess
Would just talk about their children constantly and how happy they are to have them. But very loudly.
Like the loudest conversations known to mankind. They would be that annoying table at a restaurant.
They would be proud and think highly of each other. Also would have their kids play together a lot.
Canon Ryan VS Jarble Ryan
Literally just this image
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-
THATS ALL I GOT FOR NOW!!!
You asked a simple easy question and I fucking rambled forever!!! Congrats!!!!!!!!! Hyperfixation upon your house !!!!
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blackjackkent · 8 months ago
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Onward into High Hall!
I seem to recall being told that we'd have another chance to change up our party before the final fight, but I'm almost tempted not to. It feels like a nice bookend to have Lae'zel with Hector here at the end, just as she was at the beginning, especially given how their friendship has evolved over time.
There are a bunch of terrified civilians running everywhere. I particularly feel for this unfortunate one:
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Who ran straight into the fire surface, set himself on fire, burned all the way through his six hit points, and died in front of us for no reason. :( Lots of dead Absolutists, mind flayers, and other civilians around here too.
Report from the climb up!
An absolutely bangin' and very dramatic soundtrack.
Some city watch folk who were pretty freaked out by Orpheus's presence but who Hector convinced to join them and help rather than fleeing.
A long-rest-in-a-box restoration chamber like we saw on the Nautiloid and in Moonrise.
Several dead ends which we have to get around by jumping around on pieces of shattered rampart.
More winged horrors. They're not very difficult to fight thankfully and everyone keeps one-hit-KO-ing them. The team is clearly so pumped full of adrenaline that they're even more of a battering ram than usual.
Fighting as Orpheus (he's attached to the party for now) is making me realize the benefits of going full worm; as a mind flayer he can use actions and bonus actions interchangeably, which is very cash money of him. His abilities, which are per turn with no other restrictions like spell slots that I can discern, are also insane:
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Starting to think maybe the Emperor had a point. :P
Reaching the upper level courtyard of the Hall we start running into a lot more enemies.
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Per @zenjestrr's advice, our current strategy is repeatedly summoning the more cannon-fodder-y Friendship Buff mobs to help clear the field; the main goal right now is to keep our primary party and our big heavy hitters (Aylin, Buddy, Yurgir, etc) in good shape for the final fight.
Once again the game manages to replicate a key D&D table experience - the feeling of knowing there's a big boss somewhere up ahead and trying to figure out how to ration your resources so you're not tapped out by the time you get there.
At least to begin with, the courtyard isn't too scary. As usual, Hector and Karlach are juggernauting away at the front line and Lae'zel is slotting in perfectly alongside them just like Minsc did. Team Single Target Damage is on the case.
Jaheira is holding down the backline and not looking as squishy as she used to which is also great. I'm wary of using her too much because most of her AOE and powerful stuff is all high level spells that I don't want to burn. I'm spending some of her actions on summoning our mobs of friends, which pleases me from an RP perspective because of the four of our team she is the hardened experienced fighter and I like the idea of her kind of directing the battle.
I'm probably playing a little TOO conservatively with my abilities here, actually, but I'd rather be too careful than not. I didn't use the long-rest-in-a-box before so there's also the possibility (I think) of running all the way back there and tapping it before we reach the brain, but I'm not sure.
It does amuse me that we keep getting gold and trash loot drops here because there is zero point to it anymore I think.
At first the courtyard seems like a bunch of small isolated fights, but as I have Hector start running towards an ogre near the center of the field, the WHOLE PLACE lights up in a battle with [counts rapidly] TWENTY-EIGHT ENEMIES, including the ogre, several mind flayers, and a spectator. FUCK.
Maybe time to start using those big spells after all, Jaheira.
This isn't quite as scary as it looks because we really are powerful as shit at this point. Hector continues to be completely terrifying, Karlach is too, Lae'zel has three attacks on a turn (or six with action surge), Jaheira can set out a Haste pool for everyone to run through, Orpheus's illithid skills are upsettingly good, and we have a LOT of friends who are (I hate to admit) expendable. But that bar full of enemies too big to fit on the screen is stressful.
Oh this is going to be very scary on Tactician though I bet.
One of Zevlor's Hellriders casts Flame Strike on a big crowd of goblins which I would be much more on board with if HECTOR WAS NOT DIRECTLY IN THE MIDDLE OF THEM. Flashbacks to the last time Hector being in the middle of a fireball was considered an acceptable cost; it wasn't much fun then either. He does manage the save though so this time he takes no damage because he is badass, and the Flame Strike kills five enemies, so...worth, I guess.
This battlefield is also ENORMOUS and difficult to maneuver on, lots of high ground and curbs that mess up pathfinding.
So exciting to see Zevlor back in his element again, having found his paladin conviction once more.
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One of the Hellriders did get dominated by a mind flayer, which led to this upsetting exchange:
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Eventually victory! Gods, what a long fight. But we actually did quite well; everyone except Hector still has some of the temporary hitpoints we got from Ravengard, and we didn't lose any of our guest combatants. :D (And the one that got dominated is back safe. <3 )
Onward!
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biggestthighestgeminiest · 1 year ago
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Here are my combined thoughts about Barbie (2023) as I saw it on the 18th and have had more time to think abt it.
Some good, some bad - overall I very much enjoyed it, laughed my ass off, cried quite a bit, was enthralled by the set and costume design, but left feeling like some things were off and perhaps not accomplished in the best way. This will all be delivered in bullet points in a very chaotic and random way and is NOT ordered in importance omg. Anyways i love media analysis and I will probably not explain this in the best way but HERE WE GO
the casting was fantastic, everyone read the assignment and lived their campiest life, margot robbie was phenomenal and ryan gosling absolutely killed me with laughter, glorious glorious
set design, costume, props,, perfection when it comes to bringing the mattel products to life. bangin'
i had that stupid fucking dog that eats and shits. i lost my mind when he came on hsdgkhakh
the message of barbie being representative of all little girls is still very lost on me. the idea brought up when barbie speaks to the teens, where they tell her that she gave them unrealistic body standards- well this never really gets resolved at all. Yes there was a diverse range of Barbies but they were all still beautiful in a conventional way that adheres to western beauty ideals. every barbie has perfect hair and skin and clothes even by the end of the movie. and yes i guess barbie is supposed to be this "above everything else" sort of divine feminine beauty but is still not representative of most young girls. as hilarious as the line narrator's line about margot robbie is, it sort of knows itself, that it is showing us the most perfect looking women, but doesn't address it at all beyond a simple joke. honestly what will mattel do beyond this? i imagine people will be more than happy with this movie so they won't have to make any big changes. i mean their "curvy" fashionista isn't close to being fat, and i don't believe they will ever make a barbie that isn't conventionally beautiful... so this movie just sort of gets to say it's about accepting yourself without actual real-life substance if that makes sense? it reminds me of that cartoon of all those diverse yet conventionally attractive models, with diverse people who don't fit those standards standing outside that box looking angrily. what's the point of the film at the end of the day when not addressing all those people left out of the conversation? also made me annoyed that cellulite was still the big thing that barbie was concerned about, like really?? it's a bad example as people are coming to embrace cellulite and it's also relatively easy to hide, i don't think they would have margot robbie have like, idk, dark under eye circles or a double chin,, idk someone say this better than me but the cellulite thing annoyed me (as someone who has loads of it!!)
the plot was BONKERS and i for one don't really care about plot holes or cartoon logic. there were some things that made me overthink about barbie lore and then i thought to myself that it doesn't really matter. the campiness of it is more important. im sure it will deter some people but again i dont mind it being silly in that way as long as it delivers on its messages and themes, which it does to a certain extent
absolutely lost it at the you are kenough shirt, ljadhkglkhd
as i said in a previous post i predicted that it was going to be the mom who was paired with barbie. i loved the idea sm and it was very heartwarming
i CRIED when barbie first sat down and watched the humans around her living their life, she was so overwhelmed by so many emotions and it was such a simple moment of show-dont-tell and man did i weep :))
i LOVED the ken bits and i did feel as though there was a bit too much ken. especially at the end. but at the same time i loved the dance sequence. its hard loving it so much yet wanting it not to have been to prevalent. i felt like it took away from the barbies a bit which goes against the whole point of the movie????
um the barbie's plans of distracting the kens was... i guess reminiscent of all these spy or superhero movies where women use their beguiling nature against men to get the upper hand? like i am woman so i will flirt with man to distract while my team escapes and hooho it works :)) it was slightly different and not overly sexy or about flirting but it still had the same undertone. like really? the best way to get the other barbies out was to continue to conform to patriarchal standards and pump the ken's egos? surely there's a better way? yes the kens are idiots and turning them against each other works but it still felt a bit icky. i guess i just find this trope annoying being like... ok i am being taken advantage of men so i will USE the thing they oppress me for against them,, idk surely surely there's another way.
also America's character's plan of kidnapping the barbies and ... using very true and very valuable feminist lines to snap them out of it felt... weird? like what she was saying was 100% true but taking them out of context and almost using them as one liners made them feel less serious???? like making women "wake up" by just telling them about how the patriarchy takes advantage of them is just... idk. like in real life women who are indoctrinated and truly believe misogynistic things won't just wake up by being told such a line. and i know the barbies are brainwashed to forget their powerful feminist backgrounds so it's not entirely comparable to the women i just mentioned but... idk it felt disingenuous. i did laugh my ass off at the guitar scene but it still had that ickiness attached like..
i would watch this movie again, no doubt about it and i will definitely pick up on new things and easter eggs etc
mattel's board did make me laugh, perfectly casted and performed but again- mattel has its name on this. they know what they are doing. they know we will love this movie and not demand any change. it will still be full of men controlling the output of production. it will still put out products that don't reflect all young people's desires. it will still make products that uphold current societal norms. so having these buffoons in the board meeting just gets soured a bit when knowing these people will still be in power in real life....
the ruth bit made me cry and no i do not care that her ghost is just around. i loved it
the marketing team knows exactly what they are doing. the huge push of promotion made me gobble up all their interviews and im sure people will be buying all the barbie products. i am yet another victim of capitalism and i will thank them for it when i inevitably buy their you are kenough sweater
again i loved this movie despite all the bad things abt it. i love being critical of the wider impact of this movie while still enoying it as a piece of media and entertainment. i needed this movie and fuck it i want to go to barbieland so bad. i know i shouldnt. i love ken and think about ken more than i do barbie which is fucked up but the movie also played into it in a way,, as described before. i mean even ryan gosling being so iconic in all the interviews is adding into this lol. how many people are posting videos of him vs videos of the actresses i wonder.
also cockring ken. BUT HE WASNT WEARING THE COCKRING SO WHATS THE POINT EVEN???
the narrator was an interesting choice, personally wasn't a huge fan of it but it did somewhat fit with the rest of the cinematic language of the story so i can't say much about it
mattel knows exactly what its doing with putting its name on this movie. i think greta did a great job despite the constraints that mattel probably put on her,, it's hard to tell if the flaws of the movie come from the corporation's infuence or from the writer and director's creative decisions, most likely it's a combo of both. again i believe that the actors and designers and production team did a fantastic job with what they had, they committed to the bit. i would have loved for the movie to have been better, but it is still a great film in my book. as said before i would watch it again and would still enjoy it despite the flaws. the himbo part of my brain can shake hands with the media literacy one and emerge with an overall positive experience, yet PLEASE do not think this is the ultimate feminist movie, it is a step in the right direction, it could have been better, and i understand if you don't like it at all. but also i dont think it would be right to blindingly love it and call it perfect bc it's not.
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